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#choices....some of you repeatedly make the CHOICE to change canon not just to fix or address the poor character choices you don’t like for
booksandabeer · 2 days
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A Man Takes His Sadness Down to the River (The Consolation of Philosophy) (E | 150 K)
To celebrate the completion of the fourth & final part Lost Vocabularies that Might Express (The Memory of These Broken Impressions) in this wonderful series by dorian_burberrycanary.
Author's summary: The worst of times, like the best, are always passing away. How’s that for some consolation on the road? A post-The Falcon and The Winter Soldier Stucky fix-it as part of the all-American road trip, detours included.
Follow Steve and Bucky on their Great American Road Trip as they drive and eat their way across the country and beyond. From the beaches of the Jersey Shore to the graveyards of Savannah, from the cragged horizons of Mexico to deserts with (small) volcanoes, from college campuses to earthship settlements, from the mountains of Colorado to the monumental emptiness of the Great Plains and on and on and on…there is always more road ahead.
A Man Takes... is a miracle of a series that works with what should be an unworkable premise: Steve really did leave to go live in the past. He returned a few months later, yes, but he still made that choice. Knowingly. So, how can any author, any story, rectify such a colossal mistake, and how can it be reconciled with a believable, satisfying romance that short-changes neither Steve nor Bucky? Like this. With patience, and care, and often painful honesty. Just like Steve, this story slowly digs itself out from under the burden of that terrible decision.
I know that some people are very reluctant or even outright refuse to read EG-compliant fics and I understand why this might be a tough sell for them. Believe me, I do. But this series manages to neither let Steve off the hook for his choices nor does it punish him excessively. Instead, Steve and the readers are repeatedly confronted with the fact that there are no magical solutions here, no take-backs—it’s a fix-it, yes, and very much a Stucky fic through and through, but it’s not a fix-it fantasy where in the end everything turns out to have been an unfortunate misunderstanding after all. What's done is done and the only way out is through. But. even if you usually prefer to ignore anything that happened post-[insert preferred point of canon divergence here], please, please try to give this absolute marvel of a series a chance. It is genuinely one of the most rewarding and satisfying works I've ever read in this fandom. It's catharsis in slow motion.
You will find descriptive writing here that is so incredibly beautiful that it will bring you to your knees in awe. This series transcends fanfiction in many ways, as it stands out for the remarkable quality of the prose and the nuance, subtlety, and precision with which it explores both the emotional landscapes of its protagonists and a fictionalized, yet very recognizable post-Snap America. At the same time, it could only ever work as fanfiction because it stays so close to the characters and is so deeply rooted in and filtered through Steve’s inner life and perspective. Just like the real Steve Rogers, this story is smart and curious, and deeply empathetic towards its characters and the world they inhabit.
Every detail is imbued with meaning. The food Steve and Bucky eat. The clothes they wear. The art they look at. The books they read. The music they listen to. The places they stay at. The landscapes they drive through and the objects they carry with them or acquire along the way. One doesn't need to understand or even notice all of the references, allusions, or ambiguities to enjoy the series, but it makes for such a rewarding reading experience to really dig deep into the many, many layers the author has so expertly assembled into this phenomenally rich text. More often than not in this fic, the curtains aren’t just blue. Or rather, Bucky’s sweatpants aren’t just gray.
At some point amidst this sprawling, reflective journey, a bittersweet realization sets in: There simply is no compensation for the time and life lost, for the pain suffered. No money, no medals or statues, no hagiographies, and certainly no delusional pipe dreams forcibly made real, will ever make up for all that loss. You can't outrun your past, but that doesn't mean you should bury yourself in it. And maybe, solace can be found in mutual understanding, not just between these two men, but in interactions, in shared community—however fleeting—with ordinary people doing ordinary things in their ordinary lives. And in the beauty of the mundane and the relief that there still is a world in which such beauty can exist, even though it is so often a cruel and unjust place. Steve Rogers finally allows himself to feel his feelings: his grief and his shame, but also his joy and—even though he’s already so very tired—his hunger for more: more time, more life, more Bucky.
This series is a wonderful tribute to Steven Grant Rogers—an honest and affectionate portrayal of this compelling and lovable, if at times difficult, character. It is also a gorgeous, intricate love letter to the miracle of a man that is James Buchanan Barnes. As you can probably tell by now, I love it a totally not normal amount.
A most heartfelt thank you to @burberrycanary for taking us all along on Steve and Bucky's long journey across America and (back) to each other. Thank you for letting us sit in the back seat and watch as they learn to love and live with each other in old and new ways, finally find some measure of well-deserved rest and peace, and, together, face their greatest challenge, their longest fight, the eternal question:
How to live with all this survival?
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vintagecola · 10 months
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ATSV and Peter B’s role in this film
Some thoughts
I was sad when Peter B broke the bro code. His actions were a stark contrast to what he was in ITSV. What dirt does Miguel have on my boy that caused him to hench for Spider-Man 2099 and be dragged into the Spider Society spending most of his time running around fixing multidimensional breakages? Why was he kind of in a fog throughout the whole thing making some controversial decisions and just standing there as Gwen and Miles were manhandled by that dick Miguel. Someone help him, slap him, and shake him please
My boy went home to sit on his ass and read and chill still kind of in shock after getting yelled at by his boss Miggy and witnessing him wanting to obliterate a 15 yr old while Miles and Gwen were still out there fighting for their lives and having crises. 😭 FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES. Fckn help those children peter b what tf is wrong with you baby boy
He was sitting until Gwen came to pick his ass up
I am devastated.
Was the reason he was wearing a bathrobe and brought his daughter along to the Spider Society is because he thought this was probably going to be a quick thing? Like a meeting at work?
I know that he’s had the experience of his failures and traumas already and moved past them but how could he think Miles would be okay with what Miguel was demanding he do??
Peter B what happened to you?? I love you but Please blink twice if you need help. Are you mind controlled??? What did Miguel do to you babygirl???
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Some explanations:
It’s shown that Peter B and Miguel failed to save people from the canon event change in that other universe and people were being dusted right before Peter’s eyes as he held them in his arms. This is obviously the reason why Peter B’s hands were tied and he didn’t have much choice but to sit there as Miguel freaked out on Miles and allowed him to talk to Miles the way he did.
Peter b at least was protective over Miles after Miguel trapped him. While he was not going to jump in and fight 2099, he was still shown throughout the ordeal trying to calmly talk Miguel down.
Peter b also really did not know his stabilizer had a tracking device and only wanted to talk miles down and at least try to get him on their side.
But Miguel started making it personal for some reason while on the train fight moving upward which seemed to cause both Peter and Gwen to snap out of following Miguel’s orders just a little.
Peter b seemed emotionally vulnerable and was a little off throughout the whole film. But there has to be a reason for this.
Peter B was repeatedly exposed to his canon events and past trauma while Miguel was explaining how things worked to Miles.
It is a bit strange that while showing that he and Peter b failed to save the people in one universe, Miguel stops to say “isn’t that right, Peter?” And a wounded Peter B agrees with him of course. It’s like Miguel had to make sure to remind Peter of their failure to save people which causes Peter to become highly vulnerable like an exposed nerve.
I can’t help but SEE that Miguel is emotionally manipulating Peter B to fall into line and work under him for “the greater good” of the multiverse.
But it is off the way Peter B is acting as he’s reluctant to totally give chase to Miles and unsuccessfully tries to talk Miguel and everyone down even when he tries to and fails at backing up Gwen when she asked for it. Instead Peter B is yelled at by his boss and told to go home, which he does like a good little boy
PETER B IS BEING EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATED BY MIGUEL.
He’s being emotionally manipulated by Miguel. He is being repeatedly exposed to his trauma and failures opening him up like a fresh wound. It would make him more agreeable to standing back when Gwen and Miles were blatantly asking for his help and the hurt on his face when he couldn’t !
Someone save this man, please. Look at him in this picture right now and hug him.
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Some hope:
Peter B is shown going back with the OG Spider-Gang at the end of the movie to help his boy Miles but this is all in part thanks to his wifey, MJ.
Peter B is shown talking to Mary Jane over their sleeping baby as Miles and Gwen are out having THE WORST time of their lives.
It may seem like a little bonus to show Peter and MJ together and their conversation may not seem too important as it about their parenting which seems out of place after everything you’ve watched so far.
But after asking MJ if he’ll ever be good at this (parenting) which is to say he’s feeling really guilty over what happened to Miles and Gwen. And Mary Jane says :
“There’s no playbook for being someone like you. You just have to make the right adjustments at half time.”
She goes on to tease Peter playfully about being a nerd but that’s not important right now because you’re feeling angry or disappointed at Peter B right now.
BUT,
As MJ pointed out there’s no playbook and she tells him to adjust at halftime. We are in the endgame of Spider-Verse now and it looks like Peter is about to readjust himself.
Bonus:
In an interview Jake Johnson was asked about Miles and Peter’s relationship compared to the first film and he says he felt Peter had a lot of making up to do to Miles after this. Which he will.
In summary:
Peter B was emotionally manipulated by Miguel to work with him but luckily snapped out of it at the end thanks to a brief talk with MJ because there could be another way to do things and Miles is about to show it to everyone
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emeraldgreaves · 2 months
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I'd love to hear more about Take Your Daughter to Work Day for the finish your fics friday, please?
send me a fic title so i can add five sentences and ramble about it
“Because we could change it. We could steal some schematics and leave them in a conference room right now, and just let someone find them.” “How would you guarantee that they use them?” “I don’t know, we’d think of something.” “I have,” Sarissa says sharply. “Think about it, Gwen. Really, properly consider it. You would need to convince multiple people— Riel Syndran, chiefly, never mind our own parents—to divert their resources to publicly constructing defenses when Haven is already being rocked by major political turmoil—” “So we tell them to wait a few months.” “And why do we know how long to wait? How do we justify that information?”
in which gwen and sarissa clash over how much to interfere with their parents’ present. discussion of time travel genre beats, spoilers for terry pratchett’s night watch, and why i’m in wip-of-a-wip purgatory with this fic under the cut!
brief au context: there’s a scenario post on the shoh blog from like four years ago about how the ROs would react to their child from the future coming back, and i think that’s fun, so. fic.
one of the direct inspirations for this fic is terry pratchett’s night watch, in which sam vimes goes back in time to the very start of his police career to stop a serial killer and has to preserve the chain of events started by a citizen revolution. my main structural takeaway was the causal chain, or, the list of cause-and-effect events stretching from the past to the points in the present.
narratively, three things have to happen (examples from night watch): (1) the villain has to break the chain, forcing the protagonist to fix it (e.g. the night watch villain murdered young vimes’ original mentor, forcing him to step into that role) (2) the protagonist must also be tempted to break the chain, but ultimately upholds it for the greater good (Vimes repeatedly debating whether he could jumpstart some of the changes that make his present more stable) (3) the self-fulfilling paradox to preserve the chain (vimes being his own mentor)
so this is me taking a stab at (2). however. i do not know what the causal chain looks like because we haven’t finished the main game, so (1) and (3) are kind of in limbo. and therefore: purgatory!
usually i would just make an educated guess and move forward, but this fic will necessarily involve the difficult choices that go into preserving major endgame canon events, so there are gaps in my outline that i simply do not have the information to fill. on the plus side, it does mean i potentially get a burst of inspiration at the end of every month—the reveals at the beginning and end of ch7 were major for determining exactly when to set this. so for now i just daydream about the girls vs remembering there’s no cable car in past haven and they have to walk??? two hours??? to get across town???
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avatarskywalker78 · 1 year
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🥝🍐🍈
🥝What's your favourite trope/AO3 tag to write?
I always love writing canon-divergent AUs - whether it's a character making a different choice, a background change (like having the Rogues be the antagonists of S2 instead of Zoom) a non-canon pairing...it's just great fun!!
🍐Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc…
It pisses me off when characters just won’t communicated with each other and when they keep secrets, particulary when both these actions get called out in the narrative and have consequences...and then the characters keep doing it!!!!!!!!! And sure, sometimes this is in character but when it keeps happening in a show like the Flash, for example, it’s frustrating to see characters making the same mistakes over and over again and expecting different results, and this is why I always have open communication in my fics, either from the start or as a result of a character realsing ‘hey, maybe we should talk about this’ and doing so.
🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.
Oh man, I have so many blorbos, but my main one has to be my sunshine fave Eddie Thawne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Obviously he’s a good boyfriend, which I always showcase in my Westhawne/Thallen/Westhallen fics because that really shone out his canon relationship with Iris. I also headcanon him as having a poor relationship with most of his family - Eddie’s such a kind and loving person, but aside from one mention about his dad, he doesn’t talk about him or anyone else, and that really speaks volumes, plus Eobard’s words about him being the most useless member of the Thawne clan clearly struck a nerve, so it’s not the first time he’s heard words like that.
But he got the engagement ring from his Grandma, so he’s not estranged from everyone, and I always like the idea of him having a younger brother that he loves very much, which is why Malcolm shows up frequently in my fics - either in person or when Eddie talks about him - because I think he’d be a great brother and very protective of his younger sibling, and very very proud of whatever he was doing.
Fruit Emoji Fanfic Ask Game
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worstloki · 3 years
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Okay, this is gettin’ real screwed up here.
I watch a lot of TV. Probably too much. And I’ve seen characters beaten to their knees before, sometimes even with collars. And yeah, there’s usually someone standing over them, and it’s been a woman sometimes. The kind of scene we got in episode 5 of Loki is not new ground.
But here’s the thing. In EVERY OTHER SCENE I can remember like this, the person kneeling is the hero. They’ve been brought down, fully humbled before the sneering villain, and in a few minutes something will happen to get them back on their feet again. It’s usually a tense moment, a “what if they break?” that makes you want the hero to win. You aren’t rooting for, or even liking in some cases, the person standing. You’re cheering for the person on their knees.
This doesn’t seem to be the case with the Loki show. Yes, the viewers may be rooting for Loki, but there’s no hatred for Sif there. She’s not proved herself to be a cold, heartless villain, ruthlessly pounding the hero until all he can do is kneel at her feet.
Except…she did kind of do that. But it isn’t treated as something bad. It’s treated more as something Loki deserved, in my opinion. The show wants us to feel like he deserved to get repeatedly beaten up and told horrible things, just for cutting off a lock of Sif’s hair. I’ll grant, it’s peanuts compared to what happened to him in the mythology. But it’s still bad. Especially since they had him acknowledge it, repeat her cruel words back. They’re playing it off as if Loki is still the villain by himself, and is only good because of other people- Mobius, mostly, but Sif is part of that.
That’s not the way Loki’s character is. In the comics particularly, his biggest arcs are always about reinventing the labels given to him, changing “villain” into something good, something he can use, and doing it by himself. Yes, there’s outside influence, but ultimately Loki is the one who decided to change.
The show is not letting him do that. The show is portraying him as a stubborn jackass who refuses to change until other people show him the light- either with psychological torture presented as therapy, or with beating him up a bunch of times until he gives in. The show and its characters are forcing Loki to become good- they aren’t showing him doing it by himself. He is not becoming one of the good guys, he’s being essentially enslaved by them, and the show is passing it off as somehow all that good influence finally rubbed off on Loki’s cold, villainous heart. That’s why him betraying Mobius was shown as so bad even though Loki barely knew him and had been psychologically tortured by him- Mobius is written as a character who can choose to be good, and Loki is written as a character who must be forced to be good.
And something about an entire show revolving around an independent character being treated as a villain, literally enslaved by the “good guys” (back when the show still wanted us to think the TVA weren’t shady as all hell), beaten to his knees with a collar around his neck until he accepts that he deserves to be alone because he isn’t “good” like everybody else…that doesn’t go down right for me.
The TVA being presented in not just a neutral but often reliable light is something I thought would change once Loki literally called out their propaganda and Sylvie called them fascists, but, for some reason the authoritarian genocidalists are not being presented as a bad thing and it irks me too.
It's especially weird because of the way what Loki claims to have wanted by making choices for people and what Mobius claims the TVA do ARE THE EXACT SAME THINGS, except Loki, until the show, hadn't done that of his own volition and was being tortured during the invasion and is treated terribly for something he didn't even succeed in doing, while the TVA successfully erase events on a mass scale but are presented as having a higher (or at best, - equal) moral ground.
The exact same thing was done in Ragnarok where Loki's "turning point" from a tricksy villainous scoundrel happened because Thor left him frying on the ground and gave him a pep talk filled with lies and general slander about how he could be better - and people see that as good because Thor is framed as a hero, and it's because instead of accepting Loki is a complex character they take what the narrative tells at face value and that is that Loki fights the protagonist(s) so he's bad.
I personally don't like the narrative pushing a character that is canonically an abuse victim and attempted suicide and was tortured right after as someone who needs fixing because he's lusting for power and needs it to gain a sense of control during a retcon which is occurring for the sake of calling him a complete bad guy who needs to change (probably because no actual original character development could be thought of?) after he was just confirmed as queer and colloquially (i assume) called a narcissist because of twisted love.
That he deserves to be alone was presented neutrally as a joke even as he was repeatedly getting beaten to the ground, and then both people he could call friends were removed from his immediate vicinity right after.
Loki isn't being presented as a character that has done a huge mix of good and bad in the movies, he's being presented as an oft incompetent idiot that deserves what he gets because he shouldn't have run away from captors, or he cut Sif's hair, or he killed his mother, or he dared to think he had any importance or could do something good, because the truth is he's an evil lying scourge.
"But maybe," Mobius says, "Maybe he wants to mix it up. Sometimes you get tired of playing the same part. Is that possible? He can change?" And everyone's already forgotten that moments before the mission Mobius said to Loki's face that the TVA has pruned a lot of Loki variants because he's so nice! look! he has hope in him when no one else does! It's also easy to forget the "and hey, if it doesn't work, I'll delete him myself," right after because the guy was smiling through it and the scene is followed by Loki really badly trying to explain the logic of being a trickster who everyone knows is a trickster.
A lot of people payed more attention in Ragnarok than to the other Thor movies so it's not a new retcon and people seem fine with the extremely strange take that 'loki is bad but he can do good sometimes,' because the character is more animated and acts foolish and that's generally more fun for comedy, which is fair for people to prefer imo, people find different things entertaining.
But I do solidly hope the show doesn't go that way though and takes a side with Loki on the narrative stance eventually because I've seen a lot of people who just. miss that the TVA's concept is bad. And those who think they're "reforming" Loki. As if the guy needs anything but a break at this point lmao he only got away from Thanos like 2 days ago please just let him rest for a bit he's a fail villain and it's cringe to have your supposed 1st open queer character get beaten to a pulp by Sif and then put wack sexualizing shots for it too :/
it's like the show itself is trying to sell the angle of "Loki is a villain" and I'm a clown who is still wanting that to be intentional because if it is? It could be amazing and playing with how different parties are framed would be s p e c t a cu l ar and could encourage people to reassess the hero coding in other movies including ones Loki was previously in - but we're reaching the last two episodes and I don't feel like that'll happen.
I feel like even if Loki does reach the end of the show as a transformed person it'll be done leaving the audience with "perhaps you're not so bad after all, Loki," and then also give credit to Mobius or Sylvie or whoever else was involved, simply because as even of yet Loki hasn't taken on a lead role in the show. I'd argue he hasn't really contributed anything worthwhile to plot either. As you've said, he's being shown as someone who needs to change but isn't really motivated to. Aw man they better not make romantic love the reason he wants to change.
#no because they're framing things that are humiliating or demeaning as *casual*#I don't even care if they wanted fanservice in the show did it have to be THAT type???#of course it did they don't take the character seriously or consider what they're doing with him despite his legitimate grievances#in a show where Loki's had literally no influence on the main plot but delaying it for the entirety of the Lamentis episode#if i was worse this is where i'd theorize about how Loki isn't a typical 'strong' hero and threatens the fragile masculine ideals of some#like........marvel the F*CK kind of message is this meant to send after Thanos throwing Gamora off a cliff was 'love' and Odin was 'strong'#they've made Loki be embarrassingly bad in fights too and what's up with that?????#''no look he's powerful see he just reversed time on an entire building on his own!!! now watch 2 guards hold him back <3''#bro 2 guards aren't enough if loki wants to escape what movies were you watching bro#you want me to believe this is the guy that went toe to toe with thor and tie-lost because he had tears blurring his vision????#nice try mcu im onto you your writing sucks#the Loki show#loki spoilers#loki show spoilers#im still reeling from Sylvie's backstory of BITING AND RUNNING and that she left the door to the TVA open for so long accidentally??????#im enjoying the show but i'm not going to say it's a good show or even that I see Loki as in-character#he CAN CANONICALLY TELEPORT WHY THE FR*CK WERE THEY SITTING AND WATCHING LAMENTIS BLOW UP#he BROKE the tempad - their ONLY WAY OFF THE PLANET - which was stored in a POCKET DIMENSION - by falling TOO HARD ?????#EXCUSE ME????#put some effort into the story you're trying to sell marvel#the logic with the timelines???? makes NO SENSE??????#the TVA either has no clue what they're doing or the multiverse literally already exists and the sacred timeline continues to be lies#i want to strange Marvel#the entire thing is so entertaining though so im definitely enjoying#ThisPostIsLongerThanMyLifeSpan#TPILTMLS
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eisforeidolon · 3 years
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'stiel shippers are already making up conspiracy theories about how 15x19 ending is actually a fake, homophobic ending meant to fool people and 15x20 will have the true ending where Cass comes back and their ship becomes unequivocally, mutually canon and it's endgame. They've gone full TJLC with the fix-it episode theory and I can't say that I'm surprised at all.
Yeah, negative levels of surprise there. 
When Misha was posting all those travel pictures from around the US while J2 were quarantining, it was all a ruse!  TPTB made him post old pictures to hide where he was and his generic motel rooms could be in Vancouver!  He lives in Washington, so that’s probably close enough he doesn’t have to quarantine anyway!  They can’t leave the guy who saVeD tEH ShOw out of the last two episodes!!  Doesn’t matter that they let the actors spoil Mark P. and Jake A. and Jim B.’s returns, nah, they had to try and keep whether Misha was there or not a surprise!
Now this.  They managed to recognize when an episode was pandering to bibros with 15x19.  Which honestly was a bit of an accomplishment for them, given the hilarious exercise in palpable denial their “meta” about Red Meat is.  It certainly isn’t even all of them that managed it, given the usual blinkered nonsense floating around declaring Dean being drunk is desolation about Castiel (not, you know, hopelessness their whole world is still gonna end and everybody is gone but him, Sam, and Jack - just like their Mary who? nonsense in season 13).  Not to mention the insisting to each other Dean was totally willing to kill Sam to get Cas back, lalalalaing right through how the brothers were offering to kill each other and both be gone for the revival of, again, everybody else.  I digress ... and go on for a bit after this, so have a cut:
The point is, they recognize that having the Winchesters drive off into the sunset together is pandering to bibros, but they refuse to accept that whole scene destroying Castiel’s character was just pandering to them.  Despite how out of nowhere with zero previous buildup to support it being twue lurve it was.  Despite how this was supposedly planned for a year, yet the characters have been more at odds than ever.  Despite how one-sided it was.  Despite how, no matter how much they keep insisting to people in the comments under official CW posts that there is NO WAY to see it as anything but romantic, non-shippers and more casual fans keep daring to say they see it as familial (the NERVE!).  Despite how, while you could fairly say it’s become The Jack Show in recent years, it has never been the Dean & Cas show outside of shippers’ fevered imaginations.  So while pandering to them any harder than was already done is gonna get some WTF from the general audience?  Pandering to bibros just means making Sam & Dean’s show about ... Sam & Dean.  Which nobody in the general audience is gonna bat an eye at.
Doesn’t matter that the network president still talks about doing a revival with, specifically, J2.  Doesn’t matter most of the legitimate press over the series ending focuses particularly on J2 and Sam & Dean’s ending.  Doesn’t matter that the ones the actual co-showrunners consulted about tweaking the finale scripts post-COVID are, repeat it with me, J2.  Jared is totally a cheerleader for their ship, we know this because reasons!  Jensen must have changed his mind since last time he said his character was straight, because nobody’s asked him in the last five minutes and that’s the “right” answer they want him to say!  Misha said Jensen was totally into it and Misha *cough* never lies!
As I’ve said before, I put nothing 100% past Dabb.  I would not be even a little surprised if we get at least somebody mentioning somewhere next episode that Castiel got resurrected off-screen again.  Or if there’s some implication the brothers see him again in a way shippers could pretend totally had to involve hooking up with Dean. However, while we know Misha will bend whichever way the minion $$$ wind blows, and Dabb comes off as desperate for ass-pats on twitter from the hellers & minions blowing smoke up his ass?  He has played both sides for years in ways the general audience can dismiss (again, hard to do that and make reciprocated twue lurve “cannon”).  Dabb is also a co-showrunner with Singer who isn’t all over fandom and seemed kind bemused by it and previously said the ship was never discussed as a thing in the writer’s room while the ‘hellers were insisting their secret storyline was totes in there, guise. 
Likewise, I would be very surprised if after years of being harassed by a handful of disrespectful asshole “fans” to do so, Jensen agreed to just give in and change the character he’s been very invested in playing for fifteen years to please those jerks.  For something that suddenly and arbitrarily changes the character’s sexuality away from how he has explicitly said he has been playing it for fifteen years for a 40+ year old character in the very last episode.  For something Misha has implied he and Berens went behind his back to do in terms of Castiel’s end - that any idiot with two brain cells to rub together could figure out would lead to more harassment directed his way especially if he dared object (and would be objecting to another actor’s choices for their own character). For something that undermines what he has said repeatedly that he sees as the fundamental basis of the show.
None of that matters, though!  They’ve convinced themselves that they’re the only real audience and only they know the true story - the rest of us are just some sad definitely tiny group of pathetic hangers on that don’t understand the show has Changed Now and is really about the grEatEST LurVe stORy nEVeR tolD!  It’s what their whole echo chamber the whole audience wants ... because they say so!  
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finaledenialist · 3 years
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Hi! 13 for the destiel asks!
13. What is your ideal way for Destiel to go canon?
Honestly, I couldn’t imagine anything better than what we already got. I was always counting on a confession in the face of death with lots of tears and this is what we got. Now Dean needs to get his own ass into the Empty, drag Cas out and say what he has to say. And I don’t think any fanfic can ever beat Castiel’s monologue. This was perfect and beautiful and everything Dean needed to hear, it was also amazingly painful. I wouldn’t change a single thing here. 
Maybe apart from the ‘painful’ part. Because I always lowkey wanted a drunk confession. Just the two of them having a moment with no outside danger forcing them to say what they have to say. Just them and their choices to confess, with a little help of booze, because okay, these two are so repressed that they need a little push. Little, not a world-is-ending kind of push.
So like imagine if they confessed to each other marvelously drunk, coming back from a bar where Sam left them, because these two were driving him insane and he just noped out of there after zeroing his second beer; so they stayed and talked, and laughed and looked at each other and for a moment there was this silence, where they were only staring into each other’s eyes and Dean was starstruck because the dimmed light of the bar was playing shadows on Cas’ face, and Cas was smiling brightly at Dean and Dean thought how did we even got there; Castiel on the other had never felt happier, the beer got into his head and he was dizzy but Dean was right there in front of him, laughing carelessly at the dumb jokes Cas attempted to make and it was the best sound ever but now Dean was staring at him with so much fondness, lips parted, and it was the most beautiful moment of his life; for a while it was just the two of them and the world around them just didn’t exist. 
Then Dean chuckled and muttered something about going back to the motel; he seemed embarrassed and Cas didn’t want to admit to himself that his heart broke a little but he was going to cherish these few minutes that just passed forever, he thought. They stumbled out of the bar and Dean gave the impala a long tired look and shook his head ‘I don’t think I can drive, Cas’ he managed to say, eyes blurry, ‘We’ll walk then’, Cas shrugged it off, happy that they are going to have just a little more time together before they go into their separate rooms. The night was warm for a november, soft breeze dancing with the leaves on the ground, as they started walking, step by careful step. It was a slow walk, and the full moon just showed itself from behind a cloud. 
‘I need to take a breath’, Dean said finally, leaning on the railing of the bridge they just reached. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He glanced at Cas and then looked at the river underneath them. His heart was racing. Because Cas was standing right next to him, close enough to touch, almost. Cas, and his dark messy hair, and reassuring smile and those stupid blue eyes, piercing right through him every time. But Cas wasn’t looking at him this time, his eyes were closed, he was breathing slowly, listening to the quiet whispers of the river, trying to focus on the smell of fallen leaves and the water. Castiel felt intoxicated; but he was sure it wasn’t the beer, at least not entirely. Emotions and feelings were still new to him and completely overwhelming. He wasn’t able to read Dean’s mind, and he had no idea what was expected of him. He wanted to say something but he didn’t even know what to begin with.
‘Cas’, Dean finally mumbled, and it brought him back to reality immediately. Cas slowly turned his head to face Dean, his eyes were bright and questioning, and Dean couldn’t look straight into them because he wasn’t sure what would happen if he did. Dean took another deep breath. ‘I wanted to...’ he grunted ‘To, uh, thank you.’
Cas looked confused. ‘Wh-- What for, Dean?’, he finally managed to ask, very quietly. He felt unsure and the fear started creeping in. This whole situation was new and he had no idea how should he react; at the same time he didn’t want to ruin this moment by saying something inadequate. He felt frozen and out of control. He was scared.
‘For... For everything, I guess. I never said that to you’, Dean finally let himself speak, and he felt instant relief. He knew he wanted to say it to Cas for a long time now, he didn’t even know how long, but he just couldn’t. The words were always stuck in his throat, and he always lied to himself that this wasn’t the time.
But tonight he felt he reached a breaking point. He felt it in the bar, after the fifth beer, when he looked at Cas like he saw him for the first time. Cas was laughing at something stupid Dean said about the guy who was playing pool or about the bartender; he couldn’t remember what it was and it didn’t matter anyway, but he looked at Cas and he couldn’t stop looking, because this was all he ever wanted. His brain froze after that thought, because it was something he knew for a long time now, he realized, but it was also something he never admitted even to himself. And when he suddenly did, when this thought appeared seemingly out of nowhere and despite all the walls he put around his heart, he felt finally free. He was free and completely, unconditionally in love. 
Cas looked at him with open mouth, and he looked confused. Castiel felt his heart racing at a dangerous speed, it seemed like it wanted to desperately jump out of his chest and right into Dean’s hands, where it belonged. He felt he was sobering up and his head felt light and heavy at the same time. 
‘You... You don’t have to say it, Dean’, he started cautiously. ‘I am glad to be here. I always was--’
‘No, Cas’, Dean cut him off, ‘I have to.’ The world around him was spinning, and Cas was the only fixed object, so he focused his eyes on him. ‘You... It’s good to have you here, Cas. And I mean it. You did so much for us’, he started, feeling the weight slowly lifting from his chest. It was a risk, it was probably the biggest risk he ever took, but he couldn’t help it, he always felt braver after a couple of beers. ‘You did so much for me’, his voice suddenly broke and suddenly he wasn’t able to say another word.
Cas stood there, frozen. He couldn’t believe what was happening. Dean's forest green eyes were staring intensely right into his own. It was like Dean wanted to speak but he physically couldn’t do it, and honestly, Cas could relate. At one second his mind was just a frozen void and right at the next one, unexpectedly and out of nowhere, words were madly rushing through his head, forming dozens of sentences all at once, rioting; everything he ever wanted to say to Dean was emerging from his subconsciousness into the surface, flooding his mind; he was drowning in emotions and unspoken words, it was all too much, too many; he felt like he was suffocating, so he opened his mouth to take a breath and then...
‘I love you’.
It just escaped through his lips, slipped right through it without his consent, and the world suddenly stopped and his mind went silent again. Cas blinked a couple of times, shocked but also strangely relieved; once the truth was out she was unstoppable. ‘Dean...’, he whispered, but all at once he was out of words. Thousands of them were just gone, leaving only four of them that ever mattered, that ever had meaning, echoing in his head repeatedly.
Dean looked like he was just struck by lightning. He also felt like it. The words he never thought he would hear hanged in the silence between them; it took a few seconds for them to sink in. For a moment Dean thought he was delirious, he almost expected to wake up in a second, in a motel bed, completely hangover, because this? This was simply too good to be true. 
But suddenly everything just made sense. Everything just clicked and fell right into place and he was home. He was barely standing on his own two feet, on some bridge on the outskirts of some godforsaken town in the middle of nowhere, with the moon and stars shining brightly above him and the river humming underneath him, but he was home. Nothing ever felt this right. 
After a long pause, he exhaled, smiled and--
‘Dean, I’m... I...’, Cas stuttered, ‘I shouldn’t--’
‘Cas’, Dean reached out his his hands and cupped Castiel’s face. He didn’t even have to take a step towards him, they already were standing this close. He pressed their foreheads together. ‘This is all I ever needed to hear from you’, he whispered, ‘You are what I need, no’, he quickly corrected himself, ‘you are what I want. I love you. I knew this for a while now.’ He wrapped his hand around Cas, as he said it, to keep him as close as possible, ‘I remember what it was like... I remember my life before you. I could never imagine going back to that. I just wanted you to know that’, suddenly the words started to flow more easily, ‘I am better with you around’. 
Slowly he let go of the embrace and looked directly into Cas’ eyes, brighter than ever, but was it because of moonlight or was it Castiel’s very own light, Dean wasn’t sure. Cas wasn’t sure either, but the light was everywhere. Everything looked better, brighter, more familiar. So this is it, he managed to form a thought, this is how it goes. This is what the whole world is about, as he suddenly started to understand why some of the angels fell before him. This was worth everything. He reached for Dean’s face and stroked his cheek, wonderstruck how right it felt. 
Dean was barely holding back a sob all this time, but this is not time for crying, he told himself, not now, when Cas was gently touching his face and looking at him with pure admiration. Dean couldn’t help but lean into the soft touch. Slowly he reached for Cas’ hand, leaned in more, and kissed the inside of his palm. It all felt too natural, so good and so right. 
They stood like this for a good moment, feasting on it and letting the time pass. They weren’t in a hurry anymore, they were right where they were supposed to be. After some time they finally started walking again, and when they crossed that bridge they felt like they just entered a new beginning, a new world that belonged only to them, although in a way, nothing really changed; they were joking and laughing in no time, and when Dean slipped on the wet leaves on the pavement, Cas was there to catch him. 
When they finally reached the motel, the moon and stars were already fading, and the sky on the east was slowly turning golden and pink. That night was the first of many nights to come when Sam had the motel room all to himself. 
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meggtheegg · 3 years
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Bucky
bucky my beloved 🥺
favorite thing about them
honestly, just how truly good he is. there's a lot of talk about the incorruptible pure pureness that is steve rogers, but bucky has been dealt the shittiest hand, like honestly he's endured several supervillains worth of origin stories and yet, he doesn't for a moment consider going in that direction. you could say he chooses to be good in spite of it all, but i don't think it's even a choice, because he doesn't consider anything else to be an option. it's just who he is, and it's something that, in order to temporarily change, hydra had to take him and his free will out of the equation, entirely, and even then, he managed to break free and fight back. he always rolls with the punches and then gets up and keeps going, and i feel like that part of his characterization is often overlooked between all the angst/tragedy and the shadows of steve and sam, who just happen to be two of the most overtly good characters in the mcu, if not in modern media. but there's a reason that both of them end up with bucky as their best friend. the guy may have gotten grumpy in his old age, but that core goodness is still there, and it's very telling that all of the villains in tfatws jump directly to appealing to that goodness, rather than the seemingly obvious (to an outsider) decision to use his past against him. (i know karli references it, but when it comes to direct action, her instinct is to "give him someone to rescue")
least favorite thing about them
this is less about him as a character and more about the way he's used, but i feel like the movies, especially since civil war, have used him almost entirely as motivation for steve, rather than a character in his own right. even after tfatws, it feels like there is so much that's gone unexplored, even though his story is, in my opinion, one of the most interesting in the entire mcu. tfatws was, ultimately, sam's story, and i wouldn't want that any other way, but i'm still waiting for something to give us character development and a plotline for bucky that doesn't happen 1: offscreen or 2: in the shadow of another character's arc.
favorite line
it would be very easy to go with either "who the hell is bucky?" or "i'm with you to the end of the line, pal," but those are very predictable, so probably:
Sam: Why didn’t you use the metal arm? Bucky: Well… I don’t always think of it immediately. I’m...right-handed...
i know it's a really simple line that doesn't carry a ton of weight, but it perfectly encapsulates who bucky is. his existence as an enhanced super-soldier isn't really at the front of his mind, because he didn't choose to be that way. when he's allowed to just relax and exist, he does so as a normal guy, and he still jumps to using his dominant hand when it comes to fixing the boat, because of course he does
brOTP
i would honestly love to see him building a friendship/sibling-relationship with wanda. i could just see them so easily sliding into those roles, him stepping in for the brother she lost and her taking the place of the sisters that lived and died while he was hydra's prisoner. both of them have been through so much trauma, both of them have relied on steve to deal with that trauma, at some point or another, and both are grappling with how much of themselves they still are, in the wake of gaining powers they didn't necessarily ask for similarly, marvel, please let this man become a mentor to peter parker instead of dr. strange. peter needs someone who can relate to him, not just another tony stark, and who better than another naïve kid from new york who got dragged into a fight way bigger than himself and is now dealing with overwhelming, crushing guilt and responsibility that he's too good to neglect but that he never asked for, in a world where most superheroes had the privilege of choosing to become that way??? like honestly it's such an obvious match, and with bucky's history with tony and howard, he could give peter some much-needed insight, while peter could give him equally-needed closure.
OTP
never did i expect to want sambucky to be a thing, but i desperately want it to be a thing. it just feels right?? like he fits so naturally into the wilson family, and while i'd be happy to see him with sarah, he and sam have such natural chemistry and pairing two natural caretakers together would mean lots of support for two characters who desperately need it. also, he just...looks at sam with such love in his eyes that my mom thought they were going to become a couple, and she is very much in the "two men should be allowed to just be friends" camp.
nOTP
bucky/tony. hate it. hate it so much. burn it with fire. these men do not like each other and their one meaningful interaction has been one repeatedly trying to...blast the other's head off. it's a nope from me.
random headcanon
honestly this is borderline canon, but this man is a nerd. he is a geek. a dork, if you will. he spent his childhood with his nose in a book, and would have gone to college (and a good one, too) to study some difficult subject and make a name for himself in some intellectual field, if steve's mom hadn't passed away that year. he was stuck with the opposite of steve's problem; rather than wanting to fight and physically being unable to, bucky was in peak physical condition and therefore expected to be tough and aggressive, when he'd much rather just use his head to get out of tough situations
unpopular opinion
while stucky sort of plays out like a grand romance and some of the fanfics are basically masterpieces, i'm really glad it didn't go canon and am honestly,,,,kind of glad for bucky's sake that steve is out of the picture??? bc as much as i love him, their relationship, especially towards the end, had a pretty serious power imbalance that was never really addressed. bucky would have let himself disappear in order to do whatever steve needed him to, basing his entire self-image and level of self-worth on steve's feelings about him. he and sam (whether their relationship is platonic or romantic) are much more like equals, and honestly more like pre-war bucky and steve, willing to poke fun at each other and have disagreements, because they deeply respect each other as full people, not idealized versions of someone who doesn't exist anymore. meanwhile, post ws bucky and steve often ranged anywhere from a hero/sidekick dynamic to a hero/damsel-in-distress one, and neither are particularly healthy for very long, no matter how much they love each other.
song i associate with them
known and loved - blue light bandits, joel ansett
favorite picture of them
nothing beats Cool Uncle BuckyTM
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hawkland · 3 years
Text
Dear Fandom5k Author
My AO3 account (sidewinder)
Hello and thank you for writing for me! I’m excited to give this exchange a try for the first time and cannot wait to read what you can come up with for one of my requests. Please note I’d love any of them equally, no matter if I have more prompt ideas for one or the other. Some I seriously would love just about anything about since they are so rare, others I have more specific requests to scratch itches I haven’t seen written before (or that much.)
General Likes:
Soumates with a twist. I love soulmate/soulbond AUs, as long as it’s just not a shortcut to happily-ever, no-conflict fluff. I want there to be some difficulties or angst involved. For instance, I’d love seeing any fusion/inspired-by fics based off the concept of the AMC Soumates series - where there’s a newly-developed scientific test a person can choose to take to find their soulmate (if the other person out there has also taken the test). That way it’s a choice to find out or not. Would an already established couple want to take the test to find out if they’re really “meant” to be together or not? What if they find out other people are their “soulmates”? What about the possibility of platonic soulmates vs romantic? Discussions for the future if/when one partner dies before the other? I’d love to see these questions played out with one of my fave ships in either a  happy or somewhat angsty/dark way.
Vacation/travel stories. Being unable to travel this past year+ thanks to covid-19 has me desperate to explore and live vicariously through my favorite characters! So I’d love a story involving travel to somewhere new (to them). It could be a romantic getaway/honeymoon trip to somewhere special - and I love it when an author “takes me” to a favorite city/place of their own. Or two friends just going on an escapade together, maybe one sensing the other needs some time away from a stressful situation or workplace.
Smutty likes: I love extended kissing scenes, frottage, light restraint play, sharing-one-bed-for-~reasons~-ooops-how-did-we-wake-up-cuddling, bathing/caretaking an injured partner-turns-erotic, desperate/reunion sex.
Canon-divergent AUs - I’m always good with fix-its, shifts in canon that only change one thing and see what happens next or instead.
Do Not Wants:
A/B/O dynamics, mating heats. (I do like Supernatural fics that explore Castiel and the angels having bird-like behaviors and instincts, however.)
animal abuse/death
anything related to pregnancy/childbirth/kidfic (except for Jack in SPN)
formalized BDSM relationships
scat/watersports
unrequested alternative-universe scenarios such as high school/mundane/genderswap/coffee shop/fantasy/etc. There are a few ships/groups where I would enjoy specific AUs, and those are outlined below.
Completely sad endings/permanent character death or injury that isn’t part of canon
Rape/non-con between requested characters. Dubious consent is fine in situations like magic spells/possession/fuck-or-die, however.
Supernatural
AU - Canon Divergence, Character Development, Established Relationship, Getting Together, Fix-it fic, Interpersonal Drama, Smut, Angst, Canon-Style Plot - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery/Procedural, Slice of Life, Worldbuilding, Horror
In general for SPN, I love canon-divergence AUs at pretty much any point in time (especially as they kept having so many dumb reasons in canon to keep Dean & Cas apart just when one or the other seriously needed support or TLC!) I’m okay with post-series Heaven fics as well as canon fix-its/completely ignoring the finale, and I like exploring both human!Cas as endgame or Cas keeping/getting his full angelic grace back (which is a slight preference to me, as he repeatedly seemed to genuinely value/want to be an angel? But exploring all possibilities in fic is cool for me.)
I’m a sucker for Castiel Whump/hurt!Cas in general, so long as the author remembers Cas is a bad ass and not just a baby in a trenchcoat. If he’s going to suffer, I want him to suffer stoically until he just cannot keep up the facade any longer.  
SPN-specific DNWs: mentions/implications of Wincest, past or present; extreme bashing/characterization of John and Mary Winchester, or Jimmy Nowak, as homophobic. 
Group: Castiel/Dean Winchester Group: Castiel/Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Give me all the finale fix-it fics - no I’m still not over it, I’m still happy to read any new twist on how Cas got out of the Empty and got back together with Dean (and Sam). If Dean still dies early/ends up in Heaven, I’d like a story that explores what happens when one gets bored of peace-and-happiness-ever-after. (Yes, I’m a big fan of The Good Place and as such it makes me wonder if eternity with no conflict and everything you could ever want would just melt your brain and identity after a few millennia.) So what then?
I’m also stealing a Tumblr rant as a prompt I’d love to read, if you want to get into some good dirty smut:
ive had it up to here with fictional gays being like “i love you and if all i can ever have is that knowledge it’s enough for me” we need more “i have been struck down by horny insanity and i beg you to fuck me once. i’ve had three smirnoff ices and i’m gonna be crazy now. we can pretend it didn’t happen i don’t give a shit just gimme daddy’s blunt instrument” it’s more realistic [x]
Um so yeah. I’d love an au where, anywhere along the line when it’s been their/someone’s/the universe’s life on the life, Cas takes the initiative decides they’re gonna have crazy sex even if it’s just once before the end of the world/we die. But then, oops, we’ve survived, now we have to deal with it. ...Please?
For something different, maybe more romantic/fluffy, I’d really love a vacation/getaway story here, since they never really got anything like that of substance on the show. I want to see Cas take Dean somewhere beautiful and amazing in the world he’s never gotten to see before. Show him there’s more than just greasy diners and the landscape of America to enjoy and experience. If you want, they could stumble on a case/haunting/monster from another part of the world while they’re at it...but I just really want to see Dean having some mind-opening and expanding experiences beyond what’s he’s known and seen so far in life.
In specific with Cas/Dean + Sam, I love another tumblr idea I saw recently where Sam totally keeps bringing up the idea of “Sastiel” as a fun joke between him and Cas, and Cas plays along, and it drives Dean up the wall. Cas has to just keep re-assuring Dean that no, he doesn’t see Sam that way...but why does it bother Dean so much? A.k.a. Dean has to finally own up to the fact that it bothers him because he wants Cas to feel that way about him.
Castiel (Supernatural)
I just love Cas, period, end of story, he’s my One True Character of SPN. I love any stories that try to explore him more fully—be it his relationships in the past with other angels and being a BAMF commander/warrior of Heaven, or what specifically it is that keeps him so tied to the Winchesters. I love stories that feature his true-form in some fashion or try to dig into the alien/different nature of angels vs. humans.
Also, another Tumblr-musing-turned-prompt (I lost who posted it, sorry!) I'd love to see explored in a canon divergence fic focused on Cas. Specifically: 
"I would have loved an arc for Cas (after he got his grace back) where he wanted to help people, like he was helped. Spending time in soup kitchens or healing people, and through that developing a sense of self purpose, leading to his grace replenishing unexpectedly. Sort of fulfilling the traditional angel role (as we know it nowadays) by replacing his faith in heaven/dean with faith in himself, to redefine himself as a protector of humanity instead of heaven's soldier."
Group: Castiel/Dean Winchester & Jimmy Novak Group: Castiel & Jimmy Novak
We know Cas carried a lot of guilt for what happened to Jimmy and his whole family. So I'm interested in a post-finale, canon-compliant (I guess?) fic where Cas tries to reconcile things with Jimmy in Heaven. Maybe Jimmy & Amelia were one of his first "projects" or test cases in trying to build a new and better Heaven with Jack? (And it's what he was so busy with while Dean was still alive.) Or, is it weird in Heaven with Cas and Jimmy looking so similar? Does Cas still fight doubts as to whether Dean really loves him, or just desires this body/form that isn’t his own?
Otherwise, I've been thinking about Endverse!Cas, who had lost his grace/powers as the angels have all left and abandoned humankind. What happened to/where is Jimmy in all of that? (If we go by the canon that Jimmy was not killed, nor went to Heaven, until the end of Season 5, when Lucifer blew up that vessel and Cas was resurrected by Chuck.) Are they now two "mortal men"/souls trapped sharing one body? Is that why Cas is so messed up/always seeking an escape through drugs and sex? (Besides of course Dean having changed so much.) This is one prompt where I don’t mind a very dark/not-so-happily-ever-after ending.
The Police
Angst, Character Development, Established Relationship, Getting Together, Humor, Interpersonal Drama, Smut
Group: Sting/Stewart Copeland
Yeah I’ll always request these two together even though I know it’s a long shot to find anyone else as obsessed about them as I am. Really anything at all whatsoever would make me happy for this ship: Reunion Tour-era fic, early punk days before they grew successful, soulmate AUs...
I’d also love a spooky story where they’re on tour/on the road somewhere and end up in a haunted hotel. Or their tour bus/van breaks down in the middle of nowhere and they have to seek shelter in an abandoned house or farm or something...and supernatural weirdness ends up affecting them or bringing them together.
If you want to go the crack route: it wasn’t enough for Miles to take them all around the world to tour in “exotic” locations back in the day. He’s arranged for them now to go on the ultimate tour...of outer space and alien worlds.
Crossover Fandom
Action/Adventure, Character Development, Interpersonal Drama, Angst, Canon-Style Plot - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery/Procedural
Group: Abe Morgan (Forever TV) & John Munch (L&O: SVU)
I’ve had a long running headcanon that these two could have been friends back in their respective 60s/early 70s hippie days. I’d love either a story set back then, “pre-canon”, or them running into each other in NYC later in life. Munch ending up in Abe’s antique shop, for instance, while on an investigation?  
Group: Dean Winchester (Supernatural) & Ezekiel Stone (Brimstone) Group: Castiel (Supernatural) & Ezekiel Stone (Brimstone)
I’m fascinated by the idea of crossing over these two canons. Even if there’s some conflict in their approach to Hell/Lucifer/demons, there’s still a lot in common. Dean & Ezekiel having both put in their time in Hell and being demon hunters, for instance, and their complicated relationships with (fallen) angels. I’d love to see them bonding over their experiences (Maybe they even meet in Hell? Time DOES work differently there…) Maybe somehow after Ezekiel completed his mission for the Devil, he did get his second chance at “life on Earth”…but the devil’s trick is that it’s not HIS Earth, it’s in a different dimension (Supernatural’s). I’m also curious how Ezekiel might respond to Castiel as an angel–perhaps he mistakes Cas for a demon at first, with his powers, but then they realize they are in fact hunting the same demon? Cas is stuck in an alternative dimension and recognizes Ezekiel as a similar soul to Dean’s, and seeks out his help?
Basically I’d love some kind of casefic/demon hunt here, with the characters bonding over their shared/similar past traumas, taking care of each other when/if injured on a hunt, and/or perhaps helping them sort out their complicated feelings for another (ie, background Cas/Dean and/or Zeke/the Devil are TOTALLY welcome here, as I ship both of those ships.)
Law & Order: SVU
Group: John Munch/Odafin "Fin" Tutuola
Character Development, Established Relationship, Humor, Getting Together, Interpersonal Drama, Canon-Style Plot - Freeform, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery/Procedural, Slice of Life, AU-Genre shift
Munch/Fin is one of my eternal OTPs so I’m always happy to see something new featuring them! I’m always good for procedural/case-fics. And this is one request where I’d love to read some AU-Genre or setting shift, reimagining the two in some other situations besides police work. I’ve always loved the idea of John hosting a conspiracy/weird news radio show or podcast, and Fin as someone completely skeptical but who gets wrapped up in one of John’s mysteries. Or John as the owner of a bar somewhere that Fin is one of his regulars, and over time their friendship develops/deepens into something more.
Supernatural RPF
Misha Collins/Jensen Ackles Established Relationship, Getting Together, Smut, Fluff, Slice of Life, Humor
It’s odd for me to be into an actor RPF fandom (I usually only fall for music/band-related ones), but what can I say...these two just make it almost impossible not to see the possibilities!
I was thinking I’d love something set post-Supernatural...their first time seeing each other again after a long time apart? (What with the show ending, covid, Misha’s surgery, etc etc.) Could be at a convention or maybe they get to go off on a getaway together somewhere private/romantic and it’s...kind of tense and maybe nervous/angsty at first? Like with doubts about whether they can/should go back to the way things were before.
Or: putting tin-hatty speculation about the “secret/real identity” of Alma Perpetua aside, I love their poetry and I’d love any “Cockles” fic using one of their poems as inspiration.
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mittensmorgul · 4 years
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When I talk about samwena, someone always says that their relationship is motherly, just like when I talk about destiel, someone always says that they are like brothers. Although I firmly believe that Sam and Rowena's relationship is not motherly, it bothers me that Rowena said "this is my boy" to Sam, because she also talked about Crowley, her son. Do you think this was an attempt by the writers to try to turn samwena into a mother-child relationship?
Aw, hi there! and I’m gonna start this by saying that I have written a lot on the subject, and none of it has seemed to change anyone’s mind, so I don’t know whether writing another long post on the subject will, either.
I’m putting this under a cut because it’s long-ish, and because I don’t need saileen shippers attacking me again... y’all have been warned if you don’t wanna read stuff that isn’t glowingly heart-eye’d about them... bearing in mind that I read all the positive saileen posts and just smile and nod politely at them and then move on with my life while shutting up about it...
(sorry about that... I edited this post for a typo and it seems to have messed up the read more cut...)
For years, we’ve watched the relationship between Sam and Rowena grow slowly, and it reached a point somewhere along the line where I couldn’t ignore the blatant romantic themes. The thing is, for me, their relationship can’t possibly work as her being “motherly” toward him. Because Sam has just as often been the provider of comfort/security to her as she has to him, you know?
I’ve seen a lot of people just flat out reject the read of their relationship as romantic, but I think that’s mostly because folks were clinging to the notion that Eileen was actually still alive. Granted, the fact that she had actually been dead all those years was only confirmed after Rowena’s death, but I think folks were dead set on them picking up their “romantic” relationship (which I don’t even think approached romantic in canon until Sam offered her that parting kiss, but again, that’s just me) and immediately were able to dismiss Rowena with that. Despite the fact that Sam (in canon, again) couldn’t just dismiss Rowena and strike up a relationship with Eileen (even after he verbally, repeatedly confirmed that he and Eileen were “not like that” after Dean’s prodding, a lot of people still only had heart-eyes for the two of them, and I get it, I really do, but I don’t see it, and can’t see it as ever having been romantic in canon before that point).
I personally do not think that Eileen will be back as Sam’s endgame love interest, and never have. I know that comment upsets a lot of people who cannot see a happy endgame for Sam without some sort of relationship with Eileen. But canon literally has not laid the groundwork for that. She could come back, he could call her at the end and suggest they give a relationship a try, but to me it would be just that-- not some Grand Romance that has been years in the making, but the very beginning of what could potentially be a happy life together. And I just find that... disappointing on so many levels. But again, that’s just me. If that’s what the show gives us, I’ll personally be incredibly meh about it.
In 15.03, as Rowena is attempting to convince Sam to kill her, to sacrifice her for the spell that was SUPPOSED to save the world, to finally free them from Chuck’s Final Punishment and heal the rift he opened into Hell, she sacrificed herself believing it would be to save Sam and the world. And the key thing to understand here is that her sacrifice did NOT end Chuck’s game of horrors for them. He was SUPPOSED to have left their world after that, and yet he didn’t. He just kept writing, destroying, and pushing them. Eileen was a pawn in his game. I can’t see her as anything more than that, as far as Sam goes anyway. In fact, her return prompted Sam to spend that entire episode thinking about Rowena, learning he was the only one able to enter Rowena’s home without being cursed by her security system. Had to bear the weight of the fact that he was the one who killed her, even if she basically had to force him to do so... Eileen being resurrected felt like cold comfort, especially when Sam still thought it had been Rowena’s one-time-use spell that had brought her back.
Learning that spell had been planted there by Chuck, after Sam had gone to Rowena’s in search of a crystal to trap Eileen’s soul for an eternity (better than going back to Hell or wandering the earth until she went vengeful), (which is admittedly not a very romantic start to any of this), and then learning that Rowena was first Queen in Hell and then had apparently lost control of the place by the next time Sam and Dean went to seek her help... I mean, the whole notion that Rowena was actually happy there is blown to shreds. 
Heck this is getting long, and I already wrote a dissertation on Rowena’s character (too long for tumblr, it’s on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21641770). Somehow every time I start talking about Sam and Rowena’s romantic potential it always devolves into a dissertation on why I can’t see Sam and Eileen as a romantic potential, but that long essay is almost entirely about Rowena herself and has very little to do with shipping at all. I’m not interested in ship wars here. If y’all are happy thinking about Sam and Eileen together, congrats! I’ve written them as a couple in fic! They are cute together! But in canon, there’s no there there...
But back to Rowena, and that final line from 15.03:
ROWENA Hell's closing. The walls are falling. SAM There has to be another way. ROWENA I wish there were... I do. I don't care about anything enough to take my own life. Not you, your brother... not even the world. But I believe in prophecy. I believe in magic. And I'm here, and you're here, and everything we need to end this right is in our hands. [She puts the dagger in Sam’s hands and tries to get him to stab her.] ROWENA I know this in my bones... it has to be this way. Do it! Kill me, Samuel! [Sam hesitates. Rowena puts a hand on his shoulder.] ROWENA I know we've gotten quite fond of each other, haven't we? But will you let the world die, let your brother die, just so I can live? [...] SAM No. [He stabs her, crying. Rowena touches his face.] ROWENA That's my boy. [She twists the dagger where Sam stabbed her. Then, she takes it out.]
(and for every reason why I believe that entire conversation is key to Rowena as a character, again, see that long essay)
Rowena doesn’t do “fond.” She wields flirtations as defensive weapons. She manipulates and shields herself with favors and sensuality. I mean, remember every man she’s had flirtations with-- from the men she’d attempted to con into relationships in order to take them for everything they were worth to flirting with the most powerful being in the room from Chuck right on down to Cas. We know her history, from Crowley’s birth story to how she’d survived for hundreds of years by ingratiating herself to those wealthier and more powerful. Remember those witches in 12.11 who’d basically used her up and dumped her out again. But with Sam? With Sam she’d never made a power play. She’d never aggressively come on to him, never felt the need to assert herself to control him or defend herself from him. He was the only person she’d ever been entirely honest with, about her fears and her concerns.
Sam was the only person, possibly in her entire life, that she trusted fully.
And in return, Sam literally held her life in his hands. Nobody else had the power to kill her, and that is a fuckton of trust to have in someone you will then refer to as “fond of each other.”
I mean, honestly
how is that not romantic?
And yet her final attempt to comfort him after he’s done what she asked of him and has tears streaming down his face is “that’s my boy...”
What was she supposed to do? Kiss him? Knowing she would die and condemn herself to Hell didn’t seem like the right time for anything else... And yet now she is trapped there after a futile sacrifice that failed to save the world.
The look of abject shock on Sam’s face in 15.08 when they find her in Hell is telling. She dismisses him to refill her drink, because I don’t think she could bear that look on his face, and then advises Dean and Cas to fix their own mess. And that, to me, only served to underscore the fact that her own mess remained unfixed, and possibly unfixable at that point, you know? She was still dead, still trapped in Hell because of her own choices. She hadn’t even earned redemption for that sacrifice.
Are we supposed to believe that she’s still condemned to that fate, and that’s just the end of her story in an “oh well, moving on” sort of way just so Sam can have a cute lil fledgling relationship with Eileen (who left, with no immediate intention to return) and forget all about all of that? Nah, no thank you.
There are seven more episodes to air, and one of the major things I personally feel needs to be resolved with Chuck’s imminent dismissal from his creation (because honestly do any of us believe that Chuck won’t be defeated in the end?) is the reorganization of the whole of Heaven and Hell. Something tells me that without Chuck manipulating creation, Heaven and Hell will not survive as they are, and then what would happen to Rowena? I think she’s still important to the story, or at least I hope she is.
It will be interesting to see how this all plays out, and I don’t have any definitive guesses about anything, but to me, this is the only way things can play out happily for Sam, saving Rowena the same way Cas once saved Dean (sorry Saileen shippers, I know Sam “saved” Eileen already, but uh... there’s about 50 asterisks on that where Chuck’s desired story just falls apart all over the place, especially the peek into the future Chuck gave Sam in 15.09).
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thatwitchrevan · 4 years
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‘at every moment’
summary: au scenes where Anakin does something different and better, changing his path. basically a bunch of mini fix-it fics. mild language, some canonical character death, and some mild non-canonical violence.
-
Anakin takes Padmé’s hand and smiles at her. The smile is pained and somehow hollow, even though he’s usually too sincere for his own good, and she gets the sense that despite how much pain he’s in, he doesn’t fully realize how terrible she feels. “Padmé, listen to me,” he implores her, drawing closer. “I can overthrow the Emperor and we can rule together.” He touches her cheek, soft and loving, but she wants to recoil. She can’t stop seeing the younglings he’s killed. 
“It can be just like you want,” he promises her, and his voice is as sweet as ever, but she knows all his promises are empty.
“No.” She shakes her head, and she’s crying. She’s never been more afraid in her life - seeing everything else fall apart around her was one thing, but out of anyone she thought she at least knew him. “That’s not what I want. You have to know that.”
She shudders around a deep breath. She’s trying so hard to stay strong, to think of their future and not break down in this moment. “Come with me. Let’s get on the ship and run away. Let’s go have our baby in a safe place and just be together. We can worry about the Republic another day.”
It’s a compromise, and she hates compromise, but until now she didn’t realize just how desperately she needs this family.
Anakin is shaking his head; he looks as scared as she feels. “It’s too late, Padmé. I’ve done things I can’t fix. There’s no going back now.”
“No, we’re not going back. But we can get out of here. You have a choice, Ani. At every moment you have a choice.”
She pulls his hand against her stomach, where he can feel his child kicking wildly. “Do it for your child, Ani. They need you. I need you.”
With her eyes holding him steady, Anakin finally gives in. It breaks him, but he nods, crying now because he’s messed up and he doesn’t know if he can save her on his own. He’s lost, and all he has to guide him now is her voice. She leads him back to the ship.
-
Anakin watches Ahsoka walk away, but as she gets halfway to the steps he realizes he can’t just watch anymore. “Ahsoka!”
She stops and turns, but her eyes are hard and ready to fight as he runs to her. “You can’t stop me, Anakin.”
He reaches her and pulls her into his arms without hesitation. “I don’t want to stop you,” he says, and despite how tight he’s holding her she can hear in his voice that he means it. “I want to say goodbye.”
Ahsoka freezes, then hugs him back, sighing. “You’ll be alright without me.”
Anakin chuckles, a warm and familiar sound that causes her heart to clench again and almost changes her mind. “No, Snips, I really won’t. But you’ll be fine without me, and that’s what matters.” He pulls back, putting his hands on her shoulders and meeting her eyes with a soft, sincere smile. “You’re a better Jedi than any of us, and I’m so sorry we failed you.”
When Anakin sees her eyes fill for at least the third time, he hugs her again, but loosely this time, ready to let her go. “I love you, Ahsoka, and I’m so proud of you.”
She squeezes her eyes shut and buries her face in his chest, muttering ‘I love you, too’ against his robes. 
-
“You have a twin sister,” Vader hisses, his mask hiding his surprise. He thinks out loud, tries to provoke his son out of hiding, but in his mind he’s reeling at the idea of having a daughter, wondering if she looks like Padmé. “If you will not be turned, perhaps she will.”
And that angers Luke like nothing ever has. All the threats against his life, all the attempt to subjugate him, all the betrayals of his father - that simmers quietly beneath the surface, a rage fueled by sadness. But his anger over his sister explodes into a star. Now he’s not only fighting Vader. He’s finally trying to kill him.
It would have made Anakin Skywalker proud to know his children loved each other so deeply, so fiercely, and would guard each other with the most fiery anger. He should have been there to guard them himself, rather than the one hunting them.
If only Obi-Wan hadn’t kept them from him - no. No, he reminds himself, this was his fault. He has to live with it. 
But was it not his Master’s bidding that he attack his own son? He pauses, and Luke takes advantage of his hesitation, knocking him down and striking repeatedly, furiously. Anakin tries to block with his own lightsaber, but he's getting weaker, and Luke will still kill him. Perhaps he would deserve it.
His master laughs and makes his way down the stairs, coming to watch Vader die. Why should he give the bastard the satisfaction?
“Luke,” he cries, his brain not yet caught up with his heart on what he's doing.
He has to call out a second time before his son stops, tired and seething, and looks at him with a very familiar impatience. His eyes seem to be saying 'why should I listen to you now, when I’ve given you every chance?' But he says nothing. 
“Luke,” Anakin begs again. “Will you help me?”
Luke is momentarily confused, but he seems to understand what his father means. He nods, his jaw set firm. Quickly he turns, facing the Emperor instead of Vader, his lightsaber humming ominously. 
Vader forces himself to stand, his own lightsaber held in a defensive position, and they move toward the Emperor, who has realized now what they're doing and begins to laugh.
“Fools.”
-
Anakin's ears ring with the promise of power, the ability to prevent death. He could be sure Padmé wouldn't leave him - she could have the long, happy life she deserved and Anakin could finally get some fucking sleep.
But something's wrong, and he knows it. He respects Palpatine, admires him, but... The hungry look in the Chancellor's eye, the way he knows too much, exactly how to get Anakin's attention. It's all too deliberate.
Anakin's used to being controlled. Treated like an object, even. He'd thought Palpatine was one of the few who would encourage him to make his own choices, but in this moment at the opera he realizes it's a lie. He could go along with it, see what Palpatine can offer. Or he can refuse to be controlled.
Palpatine gives him a look that's meant to be reassuring, to say 'I know exactly what you need, and I can help you get it'.
But really, it's smug. It reminds Anakin of the day they'd met, what Palpatine had said to him that day when he'd become barely less of a slave. "We will watch your career with great interest."
Anakin is quiet for the rest of the performance, and then after he says goodnight to the Chancellor, he goes quietly to the Jedi Temple and meets with the Council to report on Palpatine.
-
Leia's eyes may as well be steel when she's looking at Tarkin. Vader thinks he's rarely seen a being with more hatred, more anger. She's dangerous, that's certain. And she's more use to them dead if she won't give up her fellow rebels.
Tarkin is insistent, though. The man is almost as stubborn as she is. He leans into her space, forcing her to back into Vader to get away. "I grow tired of asking, so this will be the last time. Where is your rebel base?"
Organa seems to break finally, looking out the viewport at calm, peaceful Alderaan. She's hardly more than a child, but as far as she knows the whole planet as well as her rebellion rest entirely on her shoulders.
"They're on Dantooine," she says, defeated. Tarkin nods, unable to disguise his smug triumph. "There, you see? That wasn't so hard, was it?"
He turns to the officers, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "You may fire when ready."
"What?" Whether it was hope or naivety that made the princess concede, the betrayal is palpable. Vader has been beyond caring for so long that even though to him, wasting an entire planet seems excessive, he's not about to protest. And yet there's something about Leia that cuts right to where his conscience used to be. Or maybe it's that he reminds her of someone he's forbidden himself to think about except when he's alone.
The weight of a world on her shoulders. The pain, the desperation to not let her people down.
He remembers a girl on Naboo who dressed like a servant but fought like a queen. Leia, though, is without recourse. She has no army, no bodyguards, no Jedi protectors, and she's all but dead.
Vader remembers a time he wanted to help that girl carrying the weight of a world. He wanted to save her. He steps forward, grabs Tarkin's arm instead of Leia's.
Tarkin looks at him like he's grown an extra head. "Vader, what are you doing?"
"Stop the attack." Vader looks at the officers, hoping the blankness of his mask is still imposing even in defiance of the Grand Moff. "Hold fire. Do not attack the planet."
Tarkin pulls away from him, glaring. "I am the one in power here. We will demonstrate the power of this station."
Vader looks at Leia. There is still so much anger in her eyes, but she's looking directly up into his helmet and Force, she really does remind him of Padmé. There's hope underneath that anger, fighting to the surface, waiting for a spark to ignite it. It surprises him to realize that he wants to give her that spark. 
He ignites his saber. This isn't a time for any more words so he merely acts, killing Tarkin and every other Imperial on deck in the space of a minute - enough time for someone to set off an alarm and Leia's hard look to melt into slack-jawed, wide eyed wonder as he deactivates his saber and takes her binders off. 
"Come with me," he says. "You're going home."
-
Shmi Skywalker lets out a final breath and goes limp in her son's arms. Anakin has never felt more lost in all his life.
Even through all these years away from her, he'd had the knowledge that his mother was out there somewhere, surviving as she always did. She had given him life, a name, and as much of a childhood as they could afford. She deserved so much better than dying in a desert. She deserved better than to be a slave in the first place.
She deserved a better son.
Anakin sobs as he holds her for an eternity. Only after he has no air left in his lungs and is simply too exhausted to cry does he start to move her. He lays her gently, reverently on the ground so he can stand and compose himself, think about what he's doing. He feels the burning in his heart, the anger. He wants to tear every being in this desert limb from limb, make it all pay for what's happened.
But even as his hand goes to his lightsaber, he knows there's only a few beings on this planet responsible for his mother's death, and killing any of them won't bring her back.
Anakin leaves his saber on his belt and does the very last thing he wants to do right now. He closes his eyes and he meditates.
The anger isn't going anywhere. To hells with what the Jedi say - it wouldn't be right if he wasn't angry. Nobody deserves his anger on their behalf more than Shmi. But if he kills everything he can find, it's going to change him in a way his mother wouldn't have wanted. Maybe the universe didn't care what she wanted or deserved, but Anakin does. 
He takes a deep breath. Then he picks his mother up and holds her very close to his chest.
There are a few Tuskens who try to stop him as he walks out of the camp. He reflects their blaster fire back at them and keeps walking, leaving a few burning corpses instead of a whole village. Maybe that will be enough to balance the scales without ruining his soul. Either way, he's bringing his mother home.
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goldhexes · 4 years
Note
so how will ben and evie's friendship be after what happened recently? you did say they became closer after ben's character shift in y6, after all (doing questionable stuff to keep those they love safe, which is #relatable) and now... though if you have decided to ignore the recent events, that's understandable too!! [wilhelminafujita]
ok this just follows the game canon but i dont see it as canon xDD but......their friendship is. not good after the incident. evie was always friends with ben from the beginning, but while they were close, he was never quite as close as rowan was with evie. they did grow closer after ben’s character shifts and his goals and ideals resonate with evie’s, but in reality, it’s really because rowan and evie drifted apart, mostly on evie’s part, she distanced herself on purpose, and evie had little to no choice but to rely on ben. ben felt the same way, he relied on evie to back him up when it seemed like the whole world was against him, and they found solidarity in that. they were close, and mostly enabled each other’s... questionable behaviors, and rowan was always against it, because she cared and didnt want to see anyone hurt, but evie and ben thought their way of doing things was best, so both really only had each other to understand.
because of how close they were at the time, it just made what happened after terrible. evie immediately severs their friendship, doing a complete switch from being close friends one minute, then cutting ben off the next. she trusted ben to keep everyone safe and she viewed rowan sacrificing herself for him as breaking that promise. ngl she definitely reacted irrationally and used ben as a scapegoat, blaming him for what happened to rowan. going as far as to threaten him
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yeah its bad. it takes evie forever to calm down, and even then ben and evie’s friendship is strained and evie only tolerates him. not to say ben tolerates that, he does repeatedly call her out on her behavior and the fact that rowan most likely leapt into the situation for her and not him, and how evie deliberately distanced herself from rowan, causing her to become concerned and lead to her following them into the forest in the first place. their friendship just dissolves despite ben’s best efforts to fix things, but both are honestly too caught up in their feelings of guilt and anger to really make any progress in fixing whatever is left in their friendship. ben eventually views evie as a lost cause as nothing he says can change her mind about him, and decides to leave it the way it is, overcome with bitterness and guilt.
they just become polite strangers after some time, but never really close at all again
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gamergirluprising · 4 years
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Alastor’s Possible Backstory, Emotional, And Mental State.
Okay, so, I find Alastor from Hazbin Hotel one of the few characters that interest me due to his sheer mysterious aura. He has a lot of secrets and I’d like to dissect this man down to his mannerisms, his beliefs, his (low-key/high-key?) pessimistic view of life, and his use of voodoo. I personally am not a fan of the said show since it’s pretty vulgar and hasn’t caught my attention due to the possible problems I see in the show (Why the heck did the God in this universe allow a hierarchy to take place AND give people superpowers by turning them into magical animals and such? Why did he even make a Hell?) 
But anyway, I’m not here to discuss my likes and dislikes about the show, I'm here to discuss the Radio Demon and what could have possibly happened in his life as a child to start this craziness and explain his complex personality, mental state, and emotional state. Alrighty with that being said, LET’S DISSECT!
MENTA L~𝓔𝓜𝓞𝓣𝓘𝓞𝓝𝓐𝓛 ~BEGINNING
Dude’s got a mental problem fam, and I'm not saying this just cause this man’s teeth are as yellow as Bill Cipher’s entire existence. No, no, no this man is crazy for not just his unhinged need to see other’s fail and to have utter and complete control(Will tackle later) he’s crazy for his huge narcissistic behavior. Dude, Honestly thinks he’s better than everyone and ONLY allows those he thinks are worthy into his “friend” circle. I quote friend because I’m not too sure how exactly and deeply he feels about Rosie aside from their relationship being like Jack and Mary from Mary Poppins Returns, as stated by Vivzie on twitter. He finds those who don’t always smile as people who are WEAK and LAUGHABLE and regardless of how they are, he still finds them to be weak, which BY GOD is such a flawed way of thinking GEEZ. Now after reading about Alastor and becoming more intrigued, I decided to do research on his behavior and when and how it starts. 
𝐍𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐦 has 9 defining traits. I’ll go over a few that I’ve noticed.
1. He really thinks he’s more important than anyone else and has shown this through his mannerisms, the way he speaks, his vibe and just his general character scream “I’m better than you!”
2. HE LOVES SHOWING OFF! Dude can’t seem to get enough of the spotlight, thus why he LOVES to broadcast his carnage on the radio! Why else would he do so!? He finds constant admiration and respect when he does his “little” display of power!
3. Now, we ALL know he has done some pretty...gruesome things to claim strength and be seen as the strongest, even when there are others who are stronger he displays himself as if he is more dominating and wouldn’t waste his time with, how you say, vermin. This is evident by his response to Vox
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You can find where I found this here at Faustisse’s cleanup and Inking vid of the upcoming Alastor Comic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_15UYpcWJ_Q
In case it is too hard to read due to the bad quality, Alastor is saying “Show off all that and no cattle.” which is pretty much  “all hat, no cattle” (or, alternately, “big hat, no cattle”) which refers to someone who is all talk with no action, power, or substance behind his/her words. I’d applaud this power move, and still kinda do, if it weren’t for this dudes BIG HEAD lol.
BUT, you get the point, the dude is an egomaniac! “We already knew this, I mean DUH!” you say to me pinching the bridge of your nose. “Why do you point out the obvious?!”
Well, notice how severe and prevalent these traits are. Don’t you find it odd how this dude has SEVERE megalomania? Well, I did research and found out that Narcissism has a very sad connection most of the time and affects males more than females.
at https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/causes-of-npd here’s what I found
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Notice the parental factors during early childhood are all abuse-related. This could very well be one, if not the main reason, why Al is the way he is: He was abused as a child! And to make matters worse, as I was looking deeper into this, I noticed that sexual abuse is ANOTHER factor, which would explain why Alastor doesn’t like being touched without consent or by surprise but will GLADLY invade other’s personal space to feel in control (He's a hypocrite like that). Sexual assault victims ALSO don’t like being touched without consent so this just adds more proof to my claim! And serial killers tend to have a rough family life and have been molested, taken advantage of, neglected, or all of the above! 
It’s also come to my attention that Alastor enjoys talking with women more than men for 2 reasons. 1) Alastor finds it easier and more enjoyable to talk with women. 2) He finds men to be dumb brutes at least in hell.
I give COMPLETE CREDIT to @dollymoon
Thank you for the awesome amount of facts you’ve provided! RESPECT! https://www.tumblr/dollymoon
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Alastor most likely has a very harsh grudge against the world due to his treatment as a young child. His abuse, and possible loss of his mother growing up, lead to him finding joy in seeing those suffer and fail EVERY SINGLE TIME! Notice the way he talks creepily to Charlie about watching sinners “Repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pits of F A I L U R E.” Look at this man’s face as he’s saying this! The man looks turned on with the VERY fact of people suffering, that’s his kink, y’all, he a damn sadist! (No, being asexual doesn’t mean you can’t have kinks, I’ve checked, lol. Got you fam.) Ima kink shame the hell out of this man (Pun-unintended) 
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Ahem, anyway, this dude has got a hate boner for the world and finds relief when exacting pain on others because he feels wronged and feels the world is to blame. He does seem to acknowledge and accept that where he’s at is the end of the road for those who want to change, their chance was when they were alive, and has accepted that this is the natural order of things and they can’t fix that. I had this vibe that he must have gone to church as a kid due to his mom being religious and he loved his mom so he obeyed, Has been stated by Faustisse that he’s a mama’s boy, BUT remember, Vivzie said anything that comes out of HER mouth is what’s canon. Unless she has already stated it as fact any other info can’t be trusted. (Even though this info is PAINSTAKINGLY clear just by him mentioning his mother’s cooking and it just makes too much sense, lol.)
So he must have grown up to be low-key violent but with manners like he practiced being slick and suave in order to trick people into trusting him so that he may kill them without getting caught, which would work perfectly with him not chasing people due to his moral code. He practiced and practiced and seeing as how he was well-off in his later years, I’d assume he started doing his radio schtick when he was in his early 20s or at the age of 18. So he began when the roaring 20s was just starting, a new beginning for him! 
Alastor's name means "he who does not forget", "avenger", "persecutor", "tormenter", "one who suffers from divine vengeance".
(This also makes me think his real name is Alexander/Alexandre since it's the exact opposite of his Hell-Name and more interestingly, in terms of name-giving traditions, between the latter half of the Spanish period (1790-1803) and the beginning of Jim Crow Segregation (1893-1964), gallicized names of classical Greek and Roman origins dominated in Loiusiana. This may be due, in whole, or in part, to the fact that New Orleans had North America’s (excluding Central America and the Caribbean) first Opera Houses and Theatres, owned, frequented and operated by Creoles from Louisiana, Cuba and Saint-Domingue/Haiti. Adonis is my second choice since It literally means "handsome man" and that would totally fit him for his handsomeness to the fact I feel that his mom would def name him this outside of Alexander/Alexandre.) http://www.mylhcv.com/common-creole-names-for-males/
This is a HEAVY hint to what happened in his life and why he’s so drawn to seeing people fail and helps hold my theory together quite a bit, if not a lot. Of all the names to give this dude, he was given a name that legit is on par with the word “Vengeance” and “Avenger”. Vengeance for what? Avenge who? He was wronged. He possibly is angered also by the death of his mother, who was most likely his ONLY ray of light. He is a broken man who most likely has insecurities, based on the info of narcissism which tells us that narcissistic people are the most insecure sorts of people. Alastor is aware of this and sees it as a weakness, something to be culled and hidden from the world never seeing the light of day. His only way of making himself feel stronger and more in control was through voodoo and cannibalism. Many Cannibals believe to be the bees-knees since they go a step FURTHER into crime by devouring their victims and placing themselves into a rank different and more feared by the rest. They see that no one else would even have the balls to attempt to reach that spot, which again leads back to the way Alastor thinks. He just adds oil to the fire when doing voodoo and doing BLOOD RITUALS which you can see him doing when attacking Sir Pentious!  https://twitter.com/hntrgurl13/status/1197918059836690433?s=20
Dude has so much baggage that he hides behind a smile he thinks ALONE brings strength like niBBa are you serious? I’d like to see this man try and say that to the faces of strong people like Superman, Goku, Midoriya, Naruto, Broly, Wonder Woman, GOD. Yo even GOD shows emotions. Wanna know why these beings are strong? It ain’t just cause they smile, Nah, it’s cause they’re determined or the very literal embodiment of determination. they have a damn balance and that strength helps them smile through the pain, they don’t need to exhibit a smile to be strong cause them being themselves and having the strong mentality is what gives them strength, not a damn smile. Watch Charlie hit him with the good old reality check when the man attempts to freaking take over her joint (Both hotel and hell) and she proves strength ain’t just gained through smiling or dominating others. He high-key sounds weak for even having that mindset, only weaklings think like this. He has a very weak view of life which brought forth a monster, or should I say DEMON.
Here’s the info of him not liking being touched.
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I’d also like you guys to keep in mind that Vivzie has stated that none of the characters have split personalities, proving Al knows EXACTLY what he's doing.
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It’s all them but some have a DUALITY to them. As hinted at by the word "dual" within it, duality refers to having two parts, often(but not always) with opposite meanings, like the duality of good and evil. If there are two sides to a coin, metaphorically speaking, there's a duality. Notice how Alastor also has a duality in him. What kind tho? Remember those shadows that follow him everywhere? Yeah I'm pretty sure those shadows represents his duality in some way, shape, or form.
I also forgot to add that Masochism and Sadism both ALSO stem from the same things Narcissism does or similar things like being sexually abused as a kid. Remember not all cases are the same, I just wanted to put that out there (Not sure If Al is still a Masochist since that’s old info from him being just a deer and liked it when people tried to kill him.)
So in conclusion:
-Dude was possibly abused as a child by his Father
-he hates society/the world due to his terrible child life
-He possibly feels shame for what he has done and thus has accepted his fate
-He loves his mama and MOST LIKELY hates his father who probs is the one who did him a terrible service for just being his father growing up, this would explain his view on men as well
-He also feels shame for being so weak to even allow his father or any male figure to do what they did to him
-Man gets turned on when seeing people like sinners suffer.
KEEP. IN. MIND. None of this excuses his terrible behavior and excuses for being so power-hungry, He’s an interesting character and I love his quirks but he is by no means a victim without faults. He is a product of society and that’s sad but he needs to pay for his horrible actions. Cannibalism is going to far, using you and your victim’s blood for voodoo isn’t excusable, and just killing someone for the sake of vengeance won’t make the pain go away, so nothing he does that involves harming people is cute or a way to suppress his anger, which he’ll have to learn the hard way in this story, I bet. Hopefully, it’s done well cause he’s still very much a bad guy regardless of the fact that he is aiding charlie.
WHEW, that was a long post, one of my longest ones! I really wanted to write out my thoughts on this character cause I’m ALWAYS intrigued by the mystery characters like him withhold. They tend to have hints to their behavior and it was really fun traveling through the possibilities of his nature. I’m probably 100% wrong about all of what I said since I am still not sure about everything and I researched as much as I could. I wouldn’t have had such an easy time if it wasn’t for @dollymoon and their amazing efforts to inform the community, y’all crazy but y’all dedicated so respect. I am not part of the community so I wouldn’t have been able to pinpoint all the info and more. So this is my piece on Alastor the Radio Demon, a.k.a dude who looks like he’s taken ecstasy. 
P.S
-Why is this man wearing a torn up and ragged jacket when he can easily make himself a better freaking jacket? The man wore a one that was fresh as hell during his reprise, so what gives?! and why in God’s name is his damn teeth yellow? How you gonna say “You're never fully dressed without a smile” but got on one of the dirtiest smiles I’ve ever freaking seen? I'd rather not smile and be strong than to wear my clothes at its dirtiest(his smile I mean). Ain’t no way in the fresh hell would I invite an edgy radioman, who I know does voodoo, into my damn house, I am too black/Haitian for that bull.
-Y’all finna tell me why y’all falling for a man who canonically has stank breathe...?
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At least clean his damn teeth and give him a mint first, D A M N people!
again, thank you very much @dollymoon
but yeah, that’s my theory y’all, hope you enjoy and sorry for the constant repetition in here! DISSECTION OVER. . .
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mysticjagiya606 · 5 years
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I have always thought it was strange that V and Rika have known the Choi boys since their childhood…The boys being 21 in the game and V being 26. 
The only logical age difference would be that the boys were 12 when they were rescued and V would have been 17 years old. (That is being generous since they look about 6 in the photo, but you never know with anime styled artwork). 
Considering that Rika and V only broke up shortly before MC joined the RFA, you have to calculate how long the couple had to have been together…9 years. Rika and V have been together for nearly a decade. 
V bought Rikas apartment, which would be logically assumed to be directly after she moved out from her adoptive parent’s house.
As soon as V was starting to flourish with his photography and as Rika was just experiencing adolescence and looking for more than the misery she felt with her adoptive parents. Granted, V was the only form of love she knew. They were very young…it makes sense as to why they had an idealized idea of love. Rika wanted to be loved unconditionally…and V wanted to love unconditionally, like his mother described before she died.
Obviously, when they learned about the two abused children from church, they would step in to help. Rika was always wanting to help others and V had a good heart. 
Here is what we learned in the Secret Endings, as well as in Saeyoung’s flashbacks. 
Saeyoung was offered a job in the agency, by V. To be safe from their politician father, the two had to be split up. After Saeyoung was rescued, Saeran was still at the home. He was being tortured and questioned by his mother…truly believing that his brother abandoned him. 
V and Rika wanted to save Saeran too, but it went downhill. The mother refused to give him up and Rika (canon) ends up accidentally killing the twins’ mother in self defense. That is the kind of secret you take to your grave.
Here we are…the GAP.
  There is a Wikia saying that Rika kidnaps Saeran into Mint Eye….but Mint Eye doesn’t form until a couple of years before MC appears. This conclusion is drawn from Another Story…which isnt linked to the Canon route.
What really happens in between? When V and Rika are still together? 
Like I said, no one explains the gap and the journals in Another Story are not canon. The journals in Another Story only account for if Mint Eye were formed when Saeran was a very young child….which it wasn’t.
So there we have it. The only logical place Saeran could have been is with V and Rika, growing up. This is where the mistakes take root. 
Rika and V were kids raising kids…They grew up way too fast and never had the chance to discover themselves or learn to love properly.
To protect Saeran, he would need to be secluded from the outside world. If anyone found out about him, there would be a lot of questions rasied. 
V, still having contact with Saeyoung, could not allow the two to have contact with one another. V and Rika moved out into a secluded area by a cliff, which V said Rika suggested for his artistic flair, but honestly, its very convienient for raising a hidden child. 
In every route, Searan is extremely familiar with Rika’s apartment. Rika and V also lived together for an unspecified amount of time once the cliff house was purchased and the two were engaged. 
Years pass and the RFA is formed. The RFA includes Saeyoung…which is an excellent way to spend time with the boy and make sure he is okay. Again, he cannot contact Saeran, so Saeran would not be able to be invited. 
However, Saeran always knew about the activities of the RFA and that his brother was out in the world being “Cheerful” and “happy without him.”
He would have seen his makeshift mom and dad, Rika and V, having fun, chatting and holding parties with the brother he would never be able to speak to again. On top of feeling abandoned, this would create a lot of resentment…
When Rika finally decides to create Mint Eye, we all know that her and V break up. She thinks V abandoned her, even though she left him. She thinks he doesnt want to help save others. She thinks he is a hypocrite and a liar. 
Saeran would have seen all of this. He also would have seen V walk away from them and continue to spend time with/chat with the RFA members…including his brother. V didn’t even TRY to get Saeran from Rika. (Which I understand….how could he, without Saeyoung finding out? V isnt a bad person…he just didnt have any other choice.)
In Saerans eyes, it would be very easy to believe that V was a hypocrite who abandoned him…just like his brother did. Rika of course, has a hand in turning him against V, but a lot of it would have happened on it’s own. Rika was basically his MOM since his sorry excuse for a birth mom died…and Rika never left him like everyone else.
His seclusion explains why he is so socially OFF….(not including Ray, because he isnt canon). This explains why he is so utterly devoted to Rika, even without the presence of the elixer. (ignoring the childhood forced elixer because that isnt canon or possible in Seven’s route.) This explains why V couldn’t do anything to save Saeran before it was too late.
V also knew that Rika targeted the RFA members as her primary prey for the Mint Eye. V felt like he had to protect them, as they were never supposed to be dragged into this in the first place. He also felt the duty to preserve Rika’s honor…so the easiest way out was to claim that she died and cut her off entirely. Essentially…from Searans eyes…this would be abandonment. V and Rika saved his life. V was his father figure.
What’s weird is that Cheritz doesn’t really incorporate exactly how long that relationship really had to be and that Rika and V were basically parents.
If V and Rika were together from the twins’ being saved up until Mint Eye was formed (shortly before MC appears), then the story of Rika kidnapping Searan as a child is impossible. That is another reason why Cheritz could not make it canon. It would never fit with the canon route of 707 and the secret endings. 
Now, if we want to go ahead and believe in this theory as a possibility…then it would explain other things as well. I am hoping that Rika’s route will come out and explain (canonly) some of the gap…even if it isnt released as canon, it could shed light on some possibilities. 
Understanding all of the above, it explains why Rika absolutely LOSES it when V claims their love wasn’t real. Imagine being told that your engagement and 10 year relationship was a lie…after finally leaving foster care and believing that someone finally loves you, unconditionally. After the trauma bonding they ALREADY went through in the past. 
It also explains why V has such an extremely hard time coming clean. With this timeline, V has been lying for YEARS. Nearly a decade. He even lied to his very best friend, Jumin. 
All of this is especially sad for Jumin, because V is his lifeline. He has no one else. Even as adult friends, they mainly live on memories to get by this phase of dishonesty and absense of V. 
Imagine how difficult it would be to admit you were lying and did all of those questionable things? 
He would have to admit the existance of Saeran…a child the couple kept secluded from the world. Saeyoung’s true identity…which would put everyone in danger… a child he shipped off to a deadly agency. The twins’ mom…which is a literal murder comitted by the Holy Rika. 
It is just too much. It’s too dangerous to come clean. It’s just too much to explain.
The RFA were a group of friends. There was no reason for them to get involved or be put at risk. V puts so much effort into protecting the RFA…On top of that, his personal life is entirely irrelevant to holding charity parties.
Here we can see why V blames himself. He is always saying he does it to protect everyone. He blames himself for everything. Even without Mint Eye, if Rika remained sane, these problems would still exist. This is why he views everything as his mess to clean…even without his idea that his ideal view of love ruined Rika. Now Rika wanted the RFA members to herself in her new cult. It was a mess. Because of this, he is willing to sacrifice himself if it means everything can be fixed. He doesnt care about himself, he cares about protecting everyone else from “his” mistakes. (as he sees it)
We see them repeatedly rejecting getting help from the cops. This may seem stupid, considering that we shouldn’t be encouraging our players to avoid the authorities. Yet, considering the situation, it makes sense. 
The murder…the agency…the hidden child…
Even without the cult, everyone would be in danger and in BIG trouble if this was taken to the police. If V were to use the police against Rika and her cult, not only would she not have a chance to be “saved”, but the past would be easily dug up as well. That would be one huge, reputation-ruining, legal fiasco. 
The drama would destroy the livelihoods of everyone he cared about. V, a famous photographer…Rika, a well-known coordinator…Jumin, heir to an extremely powerful and known company called C&R…Zen, a rising actor…Saeyoung would be killed by the agency…Only Jaehee and Yoosung would scrape by.
V and Rika made very sketchy and very bad decisions together…even if they had pure intentions at the time. Remember…they were just teenagers when this started.
The mistakes started WAY before Mint Eye was ever an idea. Way before Rika caved into her darkness.
Considering how many years go by….whether Cheritz intended this or not…it would explain SO MUCH. You could make a whole anime or drama out of the eyes of V alone. Perhaps, a lot of this will change once more routes come out.
All I know is that the Choi boys were screwed no matter what and took some serious trauma out of this. 
And this, my dudes, is why I REALLY want a Rika route to be released. I want the light shed on what could have happened between saving the boys and forming Mint Eye.
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glamourweaver · 4 years
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I’m finally returning to my planar revision project for D&D cosmology that I feel better reflects the alignments (rather than rewarding goodness with bliss and punishing sin - only the plane of Lawful Good particularly cares about punishing evil, and pure Goodness involves a great deal of self-sacrifice and suffering in its own right), makes sure all the planes are interesting, and collapses together some redundancies.
Prime Material is the plane of True Neutrality at the middle
The Astral Plane is the transitive planes between the outer planes. It is a lot more active place than in canon D&D, as it is the plane of dreams, filled by the subconsciousness of every being in the Peime Material, cut through by the river of souls constantly moving petitioners and the reincarnating to their destination plane
The plane of Neutral Good is Nirvana. A psychoactive plane of COMPASSION, its cyclical layers each expand endlessly inwards until you open your mind enough to the universe to step into the next inner layer. It has been described as lotus shaped. For many it is not a paradise as it is marked by being psychically opened to the suffering of others through the cosmos, and many petitioners here voluntarily take on the suffering of others to relieve their pain. Some people pick up cool psychic powers too though. The dominant pantheon here thematically draws on Tibetan Dharmapalas
Arcadia is the plane of Chaotic Good. An emotionally reactive plane whose layers branch through a world tree. The petitioners here can die repeatedly and rise again for new tales each day, as the dominant pantheon plays out Indo-European influenced melodramas, romances, new vendettas, and battle elemental titans, shaping geography in new ways every few weeks with new formative legends. FREEDOM is the dominant guiding theme here. Anything you liked from Arborea or Ysgard can be woven in here.
Xaos is largely unchanged from canon Limbo or the Pathfinder Maelstrom. The philosophical theme here is ABSURDISM (in the existential sense, not the comedic sense necessarily). Meaning becomes absent in randomness.
Abaddon is the plane of Chaotic Evil. DESTRUCTION rules this plane of sinking entropy. The layers here are Prime Material worlds that have been destroyed, and are now small-h hells overrun by demons of countless breeds and apocalyptic environs. In addition to any given layer from the Abyss, this Plane also supports any Pandemonium environment as the dark maddening interior of one given world.
The plane of Neutral Evil is Stygia, a realm of utter SELFISHNESS. This plane is among the least changed from Planescape Grey Wastes or Pathfinder Abaddon. The plane itself is covetous and slowly drains hope, and will, along with color, from those who tarry here. I will add however that one can replenish their vitality and emotional strength on this plane, through acts of predation on others! So the worst people here are vibrant with the life energy they’ve ripped from others, and can even take that power with them. It’s shadowed vaults are also rich with treasure as the covetous plane collects wonders lost throughout the cosmos and guards them jealously.
Kur is the towering mountain plane of Lawful Evil. Structured like canon Celestia, it evokes Dante’s Purgatory with an Olympian paradise on the summit where the dominant pantheon rules, while on the layers below, petitioners and lesser divine being toil in degrees of servitude attempting to rise to the next layer up. Arcane and exploitative taboos easily can cast a subject down to a lower layer of harsher toil, while those who accept the fixed ordained nature of the hierarchy can achieve lesser divinity status overseeing and enjoying the benefits of the toil on a given layer. POWER rules all here.
Axos is the Plane of Lawful Neutrality. Unlike the random existential absurdism of Xaos, it is fixed DETERMINISM that robs individual choice of meaning here. It is largely like Mechanus, except that celestial bodies are part of its machinery, seeming to guide the entire clockwork dance of the Prime Material and cosmos as a whole. Laws of course abound, but they do not impact status as in Kur, nor justice as in Aaru. They are all concerned with every being doing their part in the function of the machine, and breaking those laws results in needing to overcome the metaphysical gravity of the machine itself. If a strong enough being did however, the mechanized immuno-response beings would immediately seek to remove the offender, not with any degree of malice or righteousness, but merely as a broken part that is endangering the workings of the machine.
Aaru is ruled by JUSTICE. The dominant pantheon of this Lawful Good plane combines aspects of Egyptian mythic aesthetics with the structure of traditional Chinese myth. Two layers face each other, like canon Bytopia, illuminated daily by a dying and resurrecting sun god moving between the two layers. Across one layer the crystal cities of the gods and their just petitioners shine as stars mirroring countless Prime Material skies where they are worshipped. On the opposing layer, red flames lick up from dark water to create a hellish sky where the wicked are justly punished under the watchful gaze of their judges above.
In addition to these eight, there are 4 more planes, that reflect how the joined alignments address the other alignments.
Elysium is the Lawful Good example of this concept, as a plane of PEACE, it is a place of concordance between the alignments. I haven’t gotten the full structure figured out yet, but it’s here you’ll fine the anti-magic field the Outlands are known for in canon, combined with almost drug like auras of tranquility.
The Beastlands are where Chaotic Good makes room for the other alignments, via the STATE OF NATURE.
Acheron, unlike its canon alignment, is actually where Chaotic Evil incorporates the other alignments through CONFLICT, as it’s here where Planar armies make war upon each other. The chaotic evil destruction of large enough battles anywhere on the Outer Planes (other than Abaddon) will open gates to here by nature (in contrast those epic battles that form new stories warping the terrain of Arcadia are fought between champions, not armies). Structurally it’s the same as in canon.
Finally, Lawful Evil incorporates the other alignments through IMPRISONMENT in the Plane of Carceri. Largely structured like canon, it’s also where you get all the Gehenna and Yuggoloth elements you may want (as binding contracts of service are one of the only ways to leave Carceri, so mercenary fiends abound), and one of its spheres is Baator, imprisoning defeated rebel celestials ala Dante’s inferno.
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norahastuff · 5 years
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The Spn canon approved Dean Cas soundtrack (top five)
Youtube recommended a Destiel fan video to me yesterday, and I ended up losing about 2 hours while repeatedly saying ‘’just one more!’’. It got me to thinking about how the canon scenes didn’t need to be manipulated at all to fit the lyrics or show how romantic they were. Of course they don’t. The show itself has used music and montages to underline Cas and Dean’s relationship since season 7. 
They have done this using songs that fit them so well, that you can track the evolution of their relationship pretty accurately, using just the songs the show has used for them.
1. 7x17 : Turn into Earth, The Yardbirds 
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Otherwise known as that time the show created it’s own Destiel fanvideo. Cas returns to Dean, after presumably dying in a Leviathan explosion, only to return with a never again mentioned wife and without his memories, believing himself to be a healer named Emmanuelle. The scene where Cas smites the demons, and in the process recovers his memories, is one of my favourite scenes of the entire series, and part of that is down to the song choice. We don’t hear any of the lyrics, but the melody itself is pitch perfect. The Yardbirds were known for utilising mock Gregorian chant styles in their music and I think that is reflected here. Cas recovering his memories is given an almost religious like quality. And what are almost all Cas’ memories of? A certain broken hearted hunter who carried his trenchcoat around with him for months, hoping against hope that the angel would return to him. The lyrics do somewhat thematically fit, but since we don’t hear them, I see this one as significant mostly for highlighting the importance Dean has in Cas’ life and that they used music to do it effectively, added this as an important tool that could be used in the future in telling Dean and Cas’ story.
2. 8x17 : Goodbye stranger - Supertramp
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Here we come to Robbie Thompson, the king of the end of episode montage. The glorious 8x17, in which on his knees, Dean told Cas ‘’I need you’’, and broke his link with Naomi and heaven. Only for Cas to leave anyway, with the angel tablet.. The song that plays over the final moments, focusing first on Dean and then Cas alone on the bus.
‘’Goodbye stranger it's been nice, Hope you find your paradise.
Tried to see your point of view. Hope your dreams will all come true’’
Since purgatory, Dean has been trying so hard to keep Cas with him, yet at every turn Cas keeps leaving. He leaves at the portal, after their one hunter adventure in 8x08, after killing Samandriel and now again after Dean has laid himself, and his feelings, bare to Cas. I think it finally hits Dean that Cas is an angel. He doesn’t understand these human feelings, or at least doesn’t process them, in the same way that Dean does. It’s why he’s so resigned in the finale to Cas closing the gates and returning to heaven and doesn’t try to stop him. He has to say goodbye and ‘’let him find his paradise’’. He can’t be what Dean needs and wants him to be, or respond the right way to Dean’s feelings and declarations. Those are human things Cas would need to be human to understand and well...it’s almost like there’s a narrative playing out or something.
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3. 9x18:  The sun ain’t gonna shine anymore - Frankie Valli
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Ah fancy meeting you again here Robbie. I felt personally victimized by this episode. From Metatron looking into the camera and telling us to listen to the subtext, to Dean and Cas smiling like idiots in love down the phone at each other over minibar jokes that were not amusing to anybody but them (Sam is here too), to the final montage at the end. 
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‘’Loneliness is the coat you wear
A deep shade of blue is always there
The sun ain't gonna shine anymore
The moon ain't gonna rise in the sky
Tears are always clouding your eyes
When you're without love’’
Nope no subtext to be found there. Cas taking off his coat of loneliness, tied to his angelic identity, only to once again put it back on before meeting the angels. Cas’ decision to take in the other angels stolen grace, to give up his human life that he had found a quiet dignity in, was because duty always comes first. Getting the angels home, and fixing heaven is his responsibility. He still feels the responsibility to heaven that he did last season but things are different now. He’s been human, he knows how it feels to be sorry, to enjoy things and to love. He knows how it feels to want these things. And now, after finding the mark of Cain on Dean’s arm, he knows how it feels to be ‘’without love’’.
4. 10x05 - I’ll just wait here then 
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Oh boy this song. It so perfectly encapsulates Cas’ emotional arc in regards to Dean in season 10, it almost winds me. It’s so thematically on point.
‘’now you need some rest/ so I will do what’s best I’ll just wait here then/ That’s all I’ll do/ I’ll just wait here then/ I’ll wait for you’’.
It’s not like a couple of episodes ago Cas and Dean had an emotionally mature conversation, making it clear that there are no personal grievances between them, after which Cas told Dean to relax and take some time off. And it’s not like they stay relatively drama free for the rest of the season, only to settle into easy domestic patterns when they do meet. The Mark of Cain stalled any significant emotional progress from occurring in their relationship, and all Cas could really do is wait. I could drone on about how significant this song is for Cas for hours so I’m going to make myself stop and just say, fucking hell Robbie kill me now and have it over and done with already!
5. 13x05: It’s never too late - Steppenwolf
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Never mind Robbie, Yockey took up your mantle and finished me off.
This was the culmination of years of subtext. After the emptiness and the pain of their separation, there was no dialogue that could have done their reunion justice, not even ‘’Hello Dean’’. Instead the scene was presented in the classic Destiel language: wordless emotionally charged stares, with a rousing soundtrack saying everything these fuckers can’t/wont. At least not yet. But what does the song tell us:
‘’It's never too late to start all over again
To love the people you caused the pain
And help them learn your name
Oh, no, not too late
It's never too late to start all over again’’
and to hammer it in further:
‘’Tell me who's to say after all is done
And you're finally gone, you won't be back again
You can find a way to change today
You don't have to wait 'til then’’.
Come on! Seriously this song is straight up telling these two to stop dancing around each other. The way they’ve handled their relationship in the past isn’t going to work anymore. It’s not what either of them want. Their reunion is ‘’understated’’ as Jensen called it at the time, because both of them know what the stakes are now, especially Dean. They know what happens when they lose each other, how much this relationship means to them and they want to get it right. Since this was not the end of the story and they’re not going to get to live happy ever after, at least while the show is still running, Dean didn’t quite learn the lesson as well as he should have. There was growth for sure after Cas returned, but they still have a ways to go in regards to communication and just USING THEIR WORDS. Come on boys! I’m rooting for you.
From Cas showing the central role Dean plays in his priorities, to Dean recognising angel Cas couldn’t understand or perhaps reciprocate his feelings the way he needed him too. To a Cas that’s experienced being human realising that angelic life, and a life without love is not something he can be happy with. To Cas’ role being to wait for Dean while he figured his shit out and finally to them both starting to acknowledge that it’s not too late to change the way they’ve been doing things. The highs, the lows, you can get the cliffnotes version of their relationship by charting the music Spn chose to accompany these moments. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that these music choices started appearing in 7x17, the episode from which, at least in my opinion, the show started treating their relationship differently, before veering pretty heavily into the romantic tropes in season 8. Music has a language and power, that sometimes words can’t convey, and remind me - what was that gift that Dean once gave Cas?
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