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#chinaline
thesingingrevolution · 8 months
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crying
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97-liners · 2 years
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jun loving hao + hao being shy
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lesbiancarat · 9 months
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in honor of jun and tia reuniting I want to bring back their + pentagon yanan's cover of BB88 on CYZJ. if you haven't seen this cover before DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND GO WATCH IT IT'S SO FUN
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wjsns · 1 year
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link to concurrent wjsn polls
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kingdomtual · 1 year
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also I can’t believe last year we got a leader track and this year we’re getting booseoksoon like are you KIDDING ME
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cyboaronline · 9 months
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more wjsn album posting
save me save you: what is tehre for me to even SAY about this song its beautiful and amazing. i will say that i do get the intro mixed up with as you wish LITERALLY all the time but its still like such a good song... also the music video i LOVE the music video. is it perfect No but i still love her... also the choreo PLEASE. one of these days ineed to find all of the choreo wjsn has ever done ever and analyze it because its just so intresting to me like you see repeated patterns. lots of like. phyiscal contact (that generally emphazises the torso) + sitting/standing/kneeling in a half circle in front of the person whose part it is (usually exy) + yeoreum controlling peoples movements (like not actually but thats what shes appearing to do). most of this lis porbably a logistics thing because there are so many peopl eon stage at once + i dont htink literally anyone else care sbut oh well. i also love this concept btw i would go 2 wjsn magic school
you you you: ITS SO GOOD. THE BRIDGE OH MY GOD luda i love you......like this is so up my alley its a sweeping electronic-based score with fun vocals and the VIBES. holy SHIT. ITS SO GOOD? its beautiful and gorgeous like aaah... like i am in space right now btw. thats the vibes of this. its just so good????? no words just golisten to it please
i-yah: OH? OH? OH? THE SYNTH IN THE BEGGINING PLEASE BE VAMPIRE LIKE PLEASE. this is like. video game ost level shit oh my god. THE VOCALS THE PREFORMANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its like vaugely ominous but not out of their norm too much also dawon is such a good vocalist... YESSSSSSSS THE CHORUS HIT IS SO GOOD. HELLO. THE EXY BRIDGE. THE STRINGS THE FLOURSHESE SJAHFKJDGHSDKJHHKDSKJHDSK. im going to DIE. yeonjung carrying that last chorus oh my GOD. hashtag girl. what an experience
masquerade: love u strings <3 it vaugely reminds me of a ghibli score a little bit. OH EUNSEO GOD BLESS YOU. oh i love this its so cute...i also love you masquerade its just such a bouncy song huge fan. also again yeonjung coming in with those vocals oh my GOD! gorgeous song...this might put getting wj please higher on my buy list omg
hurry up: quite a change of. pace? THIS SONG HAS CHINALINE ON IT OH...i dont mind it not at all its just not my Thing. the way this is the last? song they released w chinaline? i think?
you & i: nevermind this is the last song they released w chinaline on it unless neverland has a suprise for me. its more ballad like which is fine but its not my thing... its very beautiful though i dont hate it like at all
okay thats wj please done! i liked most of this WAY more than i thought i would...but it is genuinely very good and sticks to the vibes for the most part (not hurry up (but thats okay)). i-yah was the most distinct highlight though like oh my GOD. was blown AWAY.
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sungbeam · 2 years
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𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐝𝐨!
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frat boy!hao x fem!mc
minghao is kinda sorta maybe in love with you, but he thinks you're so out of his league.
☆ featuring — svt (mainly jun and 97s), nct!china line (kun, xiaojun, hendery, yangyang), maybe more?
☆ mini smau, acquaintances 2 lovers, pining, minghao thinks ur brother winwin is scary as hell, hao also thinks that you're dating your best friend xiaojun (but ur nOt), stupidity, incredibly fast paced
☆ status — completed
a/n: lmao ik i'm supposed to be doing ten billion other things rn but i'm in a svt funk and that svt-nct chinaline crossover pic did not help
UPDATED NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR!: i actually regret writing this so much cuz this is NOT how minghao would act whatsoever 💀 also, it isn't very inclusive at all, so i apologize—this is pretty much just an oc atp. pls do feel free to skip past this if you are uncomfortable.
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第一集 / omg she's here ?!
第二集 / big brother *gulps*
第三集 / send help pLs
第四集 / go touch grass /srs
第五集 / get yourself together, man !!
第六集 / istg it's fate
第七集 / she was insane for that
第八集 / i *am* the threat :)
𓆟  𓆝  𓆟
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permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @staysstrays @y3jiishot @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @yedammi @rnjfy @jaehunny1428 @mythicalamphitrite @ana-is-losing-her-mind @super-btstrash-posts @otchae @luv4vernon
taglist: @cosmicallyfaye @vortex-detected @lilactangerine @ihrtadri @justasoftstan @tyongf-sunflower99 @jeonnyread @thesunsfullmoon @paintandwine @haomelon @j-8star @artgukk @bokutos-bbg
send an ask or comment to be added! (not making a form this time cuz it's short)
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hurtcomfort-bingo · 5 months
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Last Updated: January 05, 2024, 2023 Fulfilled Requests: 50 In Queue: 40 Total Requests: 90
This is the queue list! Ideally, this gets updated every month with the batches the cards get made, downloaded, and disseminated. Reblogs will also indicate updates to this list (unless Tumblr makes things a little bit difficult).
Please check your Discord DMs, Tumblr DMs / Inbox / Sumissions, or Email for your card!
For Square Changes: Please tell me which Square/s you wish to change, and I will provide 5 alternatives for you to choose from.
Batch 4: commoncomitatus, Otpcutie, Summerwritesfics, Bluebellstar, howtowhumpyourhiccup, rootingfordorks, wolfish_willow, HadrianPeverellBlack, starcrossingspaceman, Slythmultishipper, evilwriter37, ChaoticQuill, Seth-Not-Seteth, bungoustraypups, theunforgivenn, Otter-Love-ASL, Sorushing, Shion-yu, rainbow_salt, Sivan325
Batch 5: angelus2hot, shrinkthisviolet, academicgangster, 5soshow, gryvon, NeonCrayons, Chantal Dormand, autisticwriterblog, badassbutterfly1987, Cail_Jei
Batch 6: Revelations Chapter six, StevetheHouseWife, faithfulcat111, tellmewhatyousee, exo-chinaline, SundialCat, Eat0crow, LupiAdsunt, pxgophagia, ghostsandmermaids
Batch 7: CaptainJimothyCarter, whumpitlikeyoumeanit, Silvfyre, xraiyax, jumpinginmuddypuddles, BluebellsinBurbank, just-ten-cents, annaofthenorthernlights, ChrissiHR, Mira
Batch 8: buckyismybicycle, TheFunk, NaughtyMaknae, Ormspryde, Buckys-wintersoldier, StevieVixxen, Unfortunatebeetleandfriends, stucky1817, skeletonstoashes, ScarletHeroTears
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kimludcom · 6 months
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SPECIFICATIONSis_handmade: YesWith Platforms: YesUpper Material: PUToe Shape: round toeStyle: ELEGANTShaft Material: PUSeason: WinterPlatform Height: 5-7cmPattern Type: SolidOutsole Material: RubberOrigin: Mainland ChinaLining Material: PUItem Type: BootsInsole Material: PUHeel Type: Square heelHeel Height: Super High
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naptimed · 8 months
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i love seventeen wayv chinaline clique so much.
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lesbiancarat · 2 years
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[220816] Jun Weibo Update
some daily (snippets)🧩 # WenJunHui's tour fragments
trans cr. onlyjunhui
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misa-ndry · 9 months
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I love shook chinaline
and Joshua who once in a while does something completely unhinged
and jeonghan actually joining in??
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misojunnie · 2 years
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THE ENEMY ZONE - lyy.
the second installment of the angst archive.
prompt 13. “did you just forget about me or something?”
⋰˚☆
inspired by @peakwak on tiktok (bicker pov series)
genre: childhood frenemies!yangyang x fem!reader, high school au (ft. xiaojun)
warnings: lots of bickering, substance use, insecurities, not much else, brief description of gore (from horror movie), universe era wayv, held back ten
featuring: nct chinaline + aespa’s karina
playlist: summer by the volunteers, as it was by harry styles, now or never by halsey
taglist: @msxflower @enhacolor @hiqhkey
network tags: @nctcreations​ @ficscafe​ @k-radio​ @kflixnet​
word count: 30.3k
yangyang lacks the courage to tell you he really wants to be with you.
[more below the cut!]
⋰˚☆
It all went back to that day in third grade. That fateful day when Liu Yangyang, the snotty idiot who lived a house over, smashed your face into your birthday cake just as you were finished blowing out the candles. Your brother laughed at you too, that asshole. With clumps of red velvet and cream cheese frosting stuck to your cheeks, you sobbed until his mother had to come pick him up and make him apologize the next day bearing a box of ferrero rochers as compensation for the emotional damage.
It was certainly the worst memory of your life. Ever since you could remember, Yangyang had always been the cause of your worst memories: when he beat you in the election for class president in eighth grade and put extremely sarcastic apology chocolates in your locker, when he found out you had a crush on his friend Yukhei and told the whole school the next day, or when he stole Chenle’s favorite set of crisp neon highlighters and put them in your desk. You got detention when the teacher found out.
Even last week, he snuck outside and dumped hot sauce into your morning coffee perched on the windowsill facing his house. You learned to never put your mug anywhere near the windows after that.
Liu Yangyang was the bane of your existence. And the worst part of it was that he was your neighbor. You could not escape him, quite literally, and he didn’t seem to want to leave your life anyways. In short, with him around, there was no peaceful way to live your life. It was almost as though he made it a daily goal to disturb you.
Of course, there were some days where he wasn’t so bad. Three years ago, he ordered you jjajangmyeon and had it delivered to your door when your parents weren’t home, and he knew you didn’t know how to cook. Albeit, that was the last time you could remember he was sweet to you.
Even now, TV blasting some obscene horror movie out his windows, he was an annoying presence in your life. Not enough to be a bully. Maybe just a mosquito.
You groaned in annoyance, slamming down your laptop on the cushion of the coach next to you as you stood up, stomping your way over to the window and leaning off the window sill. The night breeze was soft on your face, and you could see Yangyang sitting on his couch inside, curled into a little ball underneath a blanket as he watched the rapidly flashing TV with rapt attention.
“Turn down the fucking TV, nerd!” You yelled out the window, attempting to be heard over the loud screaming of the girl on the screen who appeared to be in agonizing pain as the antagonist ripped out her intestines. Yangyang slipped a piece of popcorn into his mouth, reaching for the remote and silently turning the volume up. You huffed, and  a satisfied expression passed over his face as he snuggled deeper into his blanket. His cozy position pissed you off. You reached your arms through the window frame, slowly climbing out, wearing only your thin pajamas that did nothing to protect against the cold wind. Upon seeing your exit, Yangyang paused the show and ran over, severely alarmed.
“The hell are you doing? Go back inside you little creep.”
“I’m the creep? I’m not the one who watches a girl get murdered every other night.” He rolled his eyes, leaning his elbows against the window frame while you dusted the dirt from your shorts, now safely on the ground.
“Maybe I’m imagining it’s you.” “You’re a very scary person.”
“I know.” He said with a little smile that made you want to slap him across his face. When neither of you moved, he flicked your forehead, making you gasp and grab the sore area with a scowl. “What’re you still doing outside?”
“I’m not going inside until you turn the volume down.”
“Suit yourself.” He shrugged. “If you wanna stay outside in the cold by yourself, that’s your problem, not mine.”
“I will talk over the entire movie.”
“I can always shut the window, dumbass.” He said, before slamming the glass in your face, going back to his nest of blankets and laying down comfortably. 
You supposed you could have gone inside at that point. After all, his window was shut and the sound of horrific murder wouldn’t be as loud, likely quiet enough for you to study in peace, maybe even read a bit after with the sweet, sweet sound of utter silence. But this was Yangyang you were talking about. Hell would freeze over before you let him live peacefully. Plus, you could still hear the screaming through the glass, and that was enough of a reason to keep bothering him.
Not a minute passed before you began to rap your knuckles on the window. He didn’t pay attention, and you sped up to double time, wrists beginning to hurt from flinging your fists back and forth for so long at a time, and after multiple minutes of glass rattling knocking, he sat up and opened the window again. 
“What. The fuck. Do you. Want?” He staggered his sentence exasperatedly, and you flicked your fingers towards the remote in his hand. 
“Turn down the TV.”
“You’re welcome to join me if you don’t like hearing it from across the street.”
“As if.” You scoffed. “I’m trying to study, so I’d appreciate it if you’d spare me some silence for a few minutes.” He pondered dramatically, hand on his chin before sighing and strumming the windowsill with his long fingers.
“Yeah, I suppose I could do that for you.” Your eyes widened in surprise. This had to be the first time in years that Yangyang actually agreed to do something for you, anything at all. It was nice. Suspiciously nice, and it made you admittedly uncomfortable.
“Are you serious?”
“I look serious, don’t I?” The answer was undoubtedly yes. You narrowed your eyes at him suspiciously, before making your way back to your window.
“Alright. Thanks then.” You said dubiously, and he gave you an angelic wave before disappearing into his living room, snuggling below the blankets once again.
Yangyang didn’t lie. Once you were safely through your window —you found that getting back inside was a much more complicated ordeal than getting out— you sat down with a warm cup of tea and your laptop, ready to crack down on your chemistry homework with some serious grit and determination.
A few minutes later, the screaming was back. You could hear laughing from the house over as you grit your teeth painfully tight. You leaned outside the window, but you saw he had beat you to it, head poking out the window with a shit eating smile.
“You said a few minutes.” And then he slammed the window shut.
You ended up calling the police. There was a mysterious screaming coming from the house over and it just wouldn’t stop, you told them, and a squad of policemen arrived at Yangyang’s door shortly after 11 pm, ready to catch a serial killer, not a 5’8 teenager in red sheep pajamas clutching a glass of milk in his right hand and a snickers bar in his left.
Did you almost get him arrested? Yes. But was it worth it to see the look on his face when the officers knocked him down and pinned his hands to his back? Also yes.
That’s what you get for not turning down the TV.
⋰˚☆
As usual, there was a knocking upon your front door at 7:30 am. No, it wasn’t Yangyang, but your best friend Karina swinging by the walk you to school like usual with a croissant in her hand and dark circles under her eyes. She didn’t bother to listen to your morning greeting, just stepping inside, seeming like she might nearly pass out with a mouthful of flaky pastry.
“Give me coffee.” She deadpanned. It wasn’t a question, but a demand, and one that you had gotten used to quite quickly. You reached for the steaming pot on the coffee maker and Karina’s favorite mug: with the blue hearts, of course.
“I assume you didn’t sleep well?” You chuckled, handing her the cup of steaming coffee, and she sipped it without a change of expression.
“When do I ever?” She asked rhetorically with a sigh, downing almost the entire cup in one go and slamming it down on the counter like a shot cup. “Hit me again.”
“You’re going to have a heart attack. C’mon you caffeine freak, let’s go.” You said, taking the mug from her painfully tight grip and setting it down on the table, before you looped your arm through hers and led the comatose girl out the door.
“I’m going to kill Hendery next time I see him.” She said suddenly, and you rolled your eyes at the familiar name. Hendery, Karina’s loving but very odd boyfriend, always seemed to cause problems one way or another.
“What’d he do this time?”
“He keeps taking shit from my closet, and he thinks I don’t notice. It’s so stupid, why does he think I don’t see him? He tried shoving my shirt under his hoodie, and when I asked him why he had a bulge under his shirt he said, get this, that he was pregnant. I’m breaking up with him.”
“Rin, I’m sure he just wants something to remember you by.” You said, rubbing her back and attempting to soothe the girl, who looked at you like you just told her the sky was purple.
“I’m not dead, y/n.” Before you had a chance to give her a proper snarky response like she deserved, a 5’8 thunderstorm of a boy ran out of his front door and headed for you like a missile, hands outstretched and ready to attack, maybe pull out a bit of your hair if things went his way.
“Y/n Qian!” He screeched, landing on you before you got a chance to try and run away. He lifted a fist, then realized he wasn’t quite sure what he was going to do once he was on top of you, simply holding the fist in the air threateningly without much action behind it. “You called the fucking cops?!”
“You deserved it, you little freak!” You said, and clearly you had more inspiration to use your fists than he did, slapping him away and escaping from his grasp. “Next time, maybe pipe down the agonizing screaming when it’s almost midnight!” Karina helped brush the dust off your uniform, not even phased by the fighting.
“I almost got arrested.” He pouted, brushing off his own blazer with a petulant frown. “One big guy knocked me over and pinned my hands to my back. It was traumatizing. You’re lucky I’m not suing for intentional infliction of emotional distress.”
“I know, I watched the whole thing.” You said smugly. “The sheep pajamas are adorable, by the way.” Yangyang’s eyes lit in flames, and he scrambled to grab you.
“You little-” You grabbed Karina’s hand and ran, laughing as the boy failed to try and keep up. “Y/n! When I get my hands on you-”
“What happened this time?” Karina asked flatly, Yangyang’s voice fading as he struggled to run after you, and you shrugged nonchalantly.
“He wouldn’t turn the TV down.”
“Of course he wouldn’t.” She exhaled exasperatedly, assisting you in running away, hands clasped together as the two of you flew down the street, hoping to reach the school before the fiery blond did.
It was safe to say that Karina was very used to your bickering.
⋰˚☆
“So, when you’re calculating the cosine of an angle, you have to remember that the cosine is equivalent to the ratio between the adjacent side to the hypotenuse-”
“Y/n.” A voice whispered from behind you, and you inhaled sharply at the interruption, trying to focus on teaching the confused boy in front of you.
“We can see that the hypotenuse is equal to 35.4 so-”
“Y/n” He whispered again.
“So if the adjacent is equal to 12-”
“Y/n!” He whispered more urgently this time, and you let out a slow exhale, attempting to ignore the hissing boy.
“Uh, I think someone’s trying to get your attention.” Xiaojun said quietly, pointing to Yangyang, hanging off the edge of his chair behind you and leaning as close as he could to your table without physically touching it. Upon Xiaojun’s comment, you reluctantly whipped around, tongue poking into the side of your cheek with annoyance.
“What do you want?”
“Can I borrow a penci-”
“No.” You cut him off immediately, tossing a crumpled paper at his face, which made him scrunch up his nose, picking it up off the floor and throwing it at the back of your head as he rolled his eyes.
“Please, I left my case at home.” He begged.
“Sounds like a you problem.”
“C’mon, you almost got me arrested this morning, you owe me.”
“I don’t owe you shit.” You said with finality, and he seemed to give up, sighing and turning around in his seat to bother one of his seatmates —you didn’t get why he didn’t ask them from the start— and in turn, you went back to your tutoring.
“You almost got him arrested?” Xiaojun asked with wide eyes, and you sighed.
“It’s a long story.”
“This is a long class.” You flicked him in the forehead, which dampered the anticipating grin on his face.
“Answer the problem, then I’ll tell you.”
“Yes ma’am.” Xiaojun said, pulling out the pencil from behind his ear as he gripped his note cards seriously. A few seconds into the problem, he paused, hand hovering over the paper and only a few marks on the page from the lead of the pencil. “I may need some help with that.” He scratched his head cluelessly.
“You definitely need some help.” You said, turning the page so it faced you both and pointing to a variable with your pencil, slowly teaching him the equation. 
A few minutes into your session, Xiaojun pressed a bit too hard on the page, the tip of his pencil snapping as the bits of lead scattered across the page, staining the white paper a dark gray. He sucked in a breath between his teeth.
“Fuck, I forgot my pencil sharpener.” He groaned, and you reached into your pencil case, removing a pencil and handing it to him like it was nothing.
“Here you go. I have a spare.” His eyes lit up gratefully.
“Thanks, y/n.” He said with a smile, getting back to the page, and you waved off his thanks casually. From the seat behind you, Yangyang tugged his lower lip between his teeth, bending his head down and attempting to focus on the page of problems before him, yet he found his mind wandering.
“So she did have another pencil…”
Lunch rolled around before you had time to properly finish working on your homework, and you and Xiaojun parted ways, the latter with somewhat of a more refined understanding of the material than he had when he first entered the classroom. Satisfied with your tutoring job, you exited the classroom ready to meet up with your friends for a peaceful lunch. Your mom had packed bibimbap for lunch today, your favorite, and you couldn’t wait to eat it.
The birds were chirping, the breeze was soft and gentle, and it felt nice on your face. Even your teachers had been more gracious than usual, sparing you from the daily 3 page trigonometry packet with the excuse that summer was coming soon, albeit it was likely just because they didn’t want to grade anything. Today was undoubtedly a nice day, and you couldn’t wait to sit at your favorite spot for lunch, under the biggest willow tree on the edge of the courtyard, with your friends and enjoy the winter day. Nothing could spoil your good mood today.
Except for maybe one person.
“Lend me the notes for Chemistry, will ya?” Yangyang yawned, his delicate hand hovering over his mouth, the corners of his eyes watering as he rested his elbow on your shoulder, following while you walked.
“Why should I?” You scoffed, and he did that stupid pouting face he always does whenever he wants something from you, bottom lip jutting out and eyes wide.
“C’mon, please? I slept through fourth period and nobody woke me up.”
“That’s your fault for watching horror movies until the ass crack of dawn.”
“Oh, so you were paying attention to me?” Yangyang wiggled his eyebrows, and you grit your teeth. “God, can you just leave me alone? I’ll never love you back. This is a romance destined to fail. I’m afraid I can’t reciprocate.” He pressed the back of his hand to his forehead dramatically, and you slapped him on the arm aggressively, making his skin prickled. “Ow!”
“In your dreams, idiot. Go find some other poor, unsuspecting victim to get your notes from. I’m not giving shit to you.”
“But I want your notes.” He said, continuing to follow you like a lost puppy, even when you got to your meeting spot under the willow tree. Your friends waved, having anticipated your arrival but rolling their eyes when they saw the boy trailing after you.
“Ay, scat, you twat.” Ten said, waving Yangyang off with one of his hands, nails painted a bright red and rings scattered across his fingers. “We want a peaceful lunch.”
“I’ll scat when I feel like it, Mr. Chittaphon.” The younger boy said, crossing his arms as Ten leaped up defensively, but Sicheng put a hand on his arm and pulled him back down. “I’ll talk to you later about the notes.” He turned his attention to you.
“Or you could not.” You groaned, sitting down, but Yangyang blew a sarcastic kiss and walked away, hands buried in his pockets as you skittered to the best spot under the shade, resting your head on Karina’s lap, despite the glare Hendery gave you.
“Jesus, he’s a bother.” Ten grumbled, now spread out on a gingham picnic blanket with a sandwich clutched in his hands, his grip on it so tight, it was obvious he was imagining the dusty blond’s face on the bread. “I don’t see why you put up with him.” “It’s not really like I have a choice.” You sighed, rolling off Karina’s lap and onto your stomach, kicking off your shoes and letting your feet rest on the dewy grass. “I live next to him, after all.”
“You live next to him?” Xiaojun piped up with wide eyes, and you suddenly became aware of his quiet presence, clearing your throat and suddenly wishing that your feet weren’t so bare and exposed.
“You must be new here.” Ten said nonchalantly. “That reminds me, who is the cutie with the blue hair?” At his comment, the cerulean haired boy stiffened up.
“This is Xiaojun.” Hendery said, pushing him from the back, making the awkward Xiaojun stumble forward slightly, and he seemed to retract like a crab out of its shell, legs tensing up and crossing. He had never seen so many eccentric people in one little space before. With the combination of Ten’s spiky turquoise hair and dog collar, plus Hendery's strange extrovertism and terrifying customer service smile, he was beginning to regret sitting with the group until you waved sweetly.
“Yeah, n-nice to meet you guys.” He said, waving back.
“Don’t ask him if he’s single.” Karina threatened Ten, who shrugged and went back to eating his sandwich. “He just transferred from China, so don’t try it.”
“Ah, so he’s fresh meat.” Ten said, rubbing his hands together. “Welcome to hell, buddy. You got lucky, you just found the most tolerable group of people in SM High.”
“Tolerable is one word.” Xiaojun laughed nervously, and Hendery pinched his cheek before laying down on Karina’s thighs happily.
It didn’t take long before everyone split off into their own conversations, Karina and Hendery bickering about whether a butt was one or two things —he said two and she said he was stupid—, and Ten seem preoccupied with trying to cling onto Sicheng, who harshly rejected him every single time. That left you and Xiaojun, sitting a few feet from each other awkwardly, not sure what to say.
“Sorry about them.” You laughed gracelessly. “Uh, you might be better off moving to a different friend group if you don’t want to be looked at sideways.”
“I don’t mind. I think I’ll get used to it.” Xiaojun said sweetly, and you swore your heart skipped a beat when he looked at you like that, eyes crinkled into crescents and a soft smile on his pink lips.
“I hope so.” You cleared your throat, looking away, and he looked down awkwardly at the broken contact. “Uh, did you finish the homework?”
“Thanks to you. I should really start paying for the tutoring.”
“No need. I’ll gladly do it for free.” You said, and his cheeks flushed red slightly, fingers twiddling with each other in his lap nervously.
“I appreciate that. Me being new and all, sometimes it’s a bit hard to adjust. Thanks for making that easier.” A smile broke out on your face before you could stop it, and your annoyance from the day dissipated in an instant at the sight of his soft grin.
“Anytime.” 
⋰˚☆
Jealous was a good word to describe Liu Yangyang. What’s his was his, what’s yours was his, everything was his, and he didn’t like to share. He may seem cute, but he guarded his belongings like a feral animal at the slightest threat that they might be taken away. You found this out in fifth grade when you threatened to steal his new air Jordans, and he grabbed a fistful of your hair and wrenched like his life depended on it.
Which is why he wasn’t very pleased to discover that you hadn’t had much time for him lately. Not that he wanted to hang out with you. He simply found that having less time to annoy you meant having less fun.
“Lemme get one of those.” You whispered quietly, pointing at the bag of fruit snacks in his hands silently to prevent your request from being detected by your drawling teacher. He held out the bag to you, but before you could get one out of the bag, he snatched it away with a smug look on his face, tossing another of the delectable fruit gummies in his mouth with a satisfied pop. “Asshole.”
“That’s what you get for not lending me your notes.”
“You’re still stuck on that?”
“When have you known me to let go of a grudge?” He had a point. You leaned back in your seat, arms crossed as you let out a frustrated little huff. He took notice of your pouting, rolling his eyes. “C’mon, you’re not actually annoyed, are you?”
“Who says I’m not?” Reluctantly, and after a bit of thought, he finally held out the bag to you with a serious look in his eyes, pressing his lips together. An excited look passed over your face, hand extending to reach for the bag.
“Thanks-” He snatched it away.
“When hell freezes over.” He munched. God knows how much you wanted to punch him sometimes.
Just as you raised your hand to give him a well deserved slap on the arm, a smooth voice interrupted from the seat over, quietly whispering as he leaned in.
“Hey, do you have the notes from last period? I missed the lecture because of orientation.” Xiaojun whispered, and you looked up mid-motion, slowly bringing your hand back to your side with a sheepish smile.
“Ah, yeah.” You reached into your bag, removing a firetruck red notebook filled with post its and doodles made with pen, flipping halfway through the pencil covered pages before handing it over. “The next four pages.”
“Thanks.” Xiaojun said with a smile. “We still on for tutoring today?”
“Always.” You gave him a thumbs up and he happily flipped through your notes, jotting them down in his own notebook silently.
“Hey.” Yangyang nudged you in the side, and you sighed at the sudden intrusion. Mood killing seemed to be Yangyang’s specialty as of late. “How come you tutor him but not me? I have worse grades.”
“Is that something to be proud of?” You raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. “He just transferred. He needs help adjusting to the curriculum.”
“But you do it for free.”
“Xiaojun doesn't need to pay. You, on the other hand, would have to lasso the moon for me to tutor you. Pay attention and you won't need my notes.” You said, flicking him on the forehead and pushing him away. 
Yangyang wasn’t jealous. Yangyang wasn’t jealous at all, at least that’s what he told himself whenever you didn’t have enough time for him.
⋰˚☆
“I’m not sure I understand this formula.” Xiaojun said, the tip of his pencil tucked between his lips in the corner of his mouth. “What’s this variable stand for?”
“The length of the horizontal major axis.”
“I thought that was b?” He said, visibly confused, and you chuckled under your breath, leaning a bit closer to the paper, and to the blue haired boy, to get a better view of the problem that was confusing him so badly.
“No. When you’re using the formula for an ellipse, you have to put x-h to the second power, over a squared.” You explained, hand on the paper as you demonstrated, your thighs touching lightly. You barely noticed that you were practically glued to each other’s sides until Yangyang cleared his voice loudly from behind you.
“If you could refrain from clinging onto him, he might understand the work better.” He said, dropping a ball of crumpled paper onto your hair, which you yanked off and tossed to the ground, rapidly pushing away from Xiaojun, the latter looking very surprised.
“Piss off. Like you’re one to be talking about understanding work.” You scoffed, tossing an eraser at him, but he caught it before it could make contact, curse his reflexes.
“Your loss of a perfectly good eraser.” He shrugged indifferently, turning the eraser over in his hands and giving you a smug smile. “Thanks.”
“You’re very welcome.” You simpered facetiously, and he turned back to his seat, but not before sticking his tongue out at you childishly. “Christ…” You groaned, rolling your eyes and turning back to your tutoring sessions.
“Why does Yangyang bother you so much anyway?” Xiaojun asked curiously, leaning it to prevent the younger boy from hearing his inquisition. You weren’t really sure you had an answer for him. Your bickering with Yangyang had gone on for as long as you could remember, ever since he was old enough to formulate proper insults and you were old enough to summon up a comeback. Neither of you questioned why you didn’t like each other, you just didn’t: simple as that. 
“Because he’s an asshole.” You said simply, which was essentially the short version of your internal monologue. “And he likes to make me mad.”
“You seem to like to get mad.” Xiaojun said, and you glared at him fiercely as he raised his hands in silent surrender. “I just mean- I don’t know what I mean.”
“He doesn’t like me.” You said, wielding your pen like a weapon as you shook it matter-of-factly. “So he decided to annoy me. There’s no reason.”
“It doesn’t seem like he doesn’t like you.” Xiaojun said, and you narrowed your eyes, raising your eyebrows like a challenge to his statement. “I think he rather likes you, in fact. What kind of person would spend all their time thinking about something if they didn’t like them?” His question made you wonder. Was he right? Did Yangyang really just annoy you because he liked seeing your reaction? Did he maybe not hate you as much as you think he does?
You shook your head, banishing all thoughts from your brain as you tapped on the paper with your pencil.
“I’d rather not think about Yangyang liking me. That’s a pretty scary thought, you know.” Xiaojun shrugged, his eyes lingering on you for a moment, even though you had already looked away, before he turned back to the assignment.
“Y/n!” Xiaojun yelled after you as you rushed out of class, not wanting to be caught by a particular dusty blond who would insist on your help. Xiaojun caught up to you, trying to match your quick pace. “Let’s have lunch.”
“I thought you didn’t want to sit with the others?” You laughed. Xiaojun hadn’t joined your lunch group after a particular incident with Hendery a few days previous. It wasn’t a great story, but let’s just say it involved a violation of the poor boy's backside. Seems Hendery found a new victim to his pranks once Sicheng got used to them.
“I’ll get over it soon.” He laughed nervously, subconsciously rubbing his ass. “But no, I meant just the two of us. There’s good hot pot down the street, I thought it might be nice to relive my time in China for a while.”
“I love hot pot!” You exclaimed excitedly, digging through your pockets for your wallet. “I'm happy to go, if I have the money.” Xiaojun waved you off.
“It’s on me. Consider it payment for the free tutoring.” He flashed a charming smile that made your heart speed up to double time.
“If you’re sure.” You said, slowly putting your almost empty wallet back into your pocket. Not that you’d admit it to anyone, but you were running short on funds recently. Maybe you’d think about taking up Yangyang’s offer to tutor him.
“Come on,” He said, gently taking your wrist and pulling you along. “I’ll show you where it is. It’s not far.” 
When he touched your skin, a tingling feeling went straight through your nerves and up your spine. You could smell his green tea hand lotion from a mile away and see every strand of cerulean hair poking out from his shaggy bangs. He smiled softly at you, pulling from the front, not paying attention to anyone that watched you exit. As you passed your typical eating place, you could’ve sworn you heard Ten wolf-whistle, but you walked past without paying any attention. All you could see was the boy before you, and how magnificent he was. Maybe you had spent so much time craning over your schoolwork that you became numb to how beautiful he was, because you were suddenly wondering how you had spent so many hours sitting within a one foot proximity from him when he had a gaze like that. In fact, you could begin to feel your palms get sweaty from the contact, and you lightly wrenched your hand from his. He didn’t seem to react very strongly.
It didn’t take much time before you were off campus and clear of the security guards, only the two of you to pay each other company on the short walk. There was a pleasant breeze, cold wind sweeping through your hair and clothes, leaving you a bit chilly and wishing you hadn’t worn a tee shirt in the middle of winter, silently cursing your brother from taking back his old jacket —and your current favorite one— the minute he got home from college. Xiaojun seemed to notice the way your teeth chattered, looking around for something to do. He himself was only wearing a thin button up, not much to offer unless he stripped, so he did the first thing he could think of. He took his hands in yours, cupping them together and breathing into them, the heat warming your palms and sending a shock up your spine. You sure didn’t feel cold anymore, your cheeks the temperature of Florida in summer.
“Are you cold?” He asked with concern, your chilled hands still grasped in his, and you shook your head feverishly.
“N-not at all.” You stuttered, and he nodded, letting your hands drop but not separating them, tucking both of your hands into the pocket of his baggy pants. Neither of you spoke about the arrangement, simply walking in silence. Suddenly your tongue felt a bit too awkward to sit comfortably in your mouth, and all the questions you wanted to ask were stuck in your throat, swallowed up before they could see the light of day. So you settled on silence, walking hand in hand and wishing that the shop would show up soon, because you didn’t want him to feel how clammy your hands were adn your speedy pulse pounding in your wrist.
“Ah, we’re here.” Xiaojun said with a smile, releasing your hand, and you let out a silent breath of relief at the lack of contact, although your hand felt significantly more lonely than it did a moment before. You mirrored his smile, setting your hands down on the back of a wooden chair and lowering yourself into the seat comfortably.
The restaurant was small, albeit comfortable. It was cozy and homey, the walls covered in movie posters and little vases of a single daisy on every table, the crystal reminding you of the vases your mother used to keep around the house.
“It’s nice.” You breathed, your breath no longer visible in the air. “And warm.”
“It’s my cousin’s.” He said suddenly, and your eyes snapped to him in surprise. “I suppose I forgot to mention it. I came to live with him after I moved to Korea.”
“Why did you move to Korea after all?” You asked curiously, and he took a seat across from you, sitting down with a little sigh.
“I wanna be a singer.” He said nonchalantly, and your eyes lit up in excitement.
“You can sing?!”
“A-a little bit.” He stammered, clearly flustered by your enthusiasm. “Most of my family are singers. I’m actually the worst one.”
“Gosh, I’m sure that’s not true! I can already imagine you on a stage. You have to sing for me sometime.” You said with finality, extending a hand, and after an awkward moment of silence, he laughed. A tinkling laugh, probably the first genuine laugh you had ever heard from him. It sounded like bells from heaven.
“Sometime, I’ll sing for you.” He agreed, shaking your hand with a small smile.
“I look forward to it.” You grinned coyly, and he rubbed his lips together, subconsciously touching his cheeks to see if they were as warm as they felt. “I suppose there’s a lot I still don’t know about you, isn’t there?”
“I think you know more than most.” He chuckled. 
“Well, I want to know more.” You said, resting your chin on your hand. “I think you can make it big as a singer here. You’ve got the charm, the personality, and I’m sure you’ve got the skills.”  Heat rushed to his cheeks, and he rubbed his hands across them a second time self consciously.
“Thank you. That means a lot to me.” It felt like an eternity since you had sat down, and both of you were anxiously waiting for a waiter to come and break the awkward silence. When no such person came, Xiaojun clicked his tongue and turned his head towards the kitchen in the back of the restaurant.
“Xiao Zhan!” He practically screamed, and a crashing sound came from behind the scenes, making you giggle. Xiaojun cleared his throat, turning around with a flush on his cheeks, slightly embarrassed from his show. From the back came a quite tall man with sleep in his eyes, yawning and ruffling Xiaojun’s hair upon his arrival.
“What?” He asked, and Xiaojun smacked him on the arm.
“God, you do know you have a job, right?”
“And you don’t, so mind your own department.” The boy tutted, pulling a notepad out from the apron around his waist. Xiaojun seemed quite put out by his comment, and you laughed at the fluster on his face. “Whaddya want?”
“Sichuan hotpot, and daojiao meatballs.” Xiaojun said, and Xiao Zhan jotted down the order on the pad, tucking it back into his pocket thoughtlessly.
“For the girlfriend?” He asked before yelping, and you swore you saw Xiaojun swing his foot at him under the table, which made you snort.
“We’re sharing.” He said through gritted teeth, and Xiao Zhan gave him a dirty look before disappearing into the back. “Sorry about him.” He said apologetically, and you shook your head, biting back a laugh.
“It’s alright.” You fussed. “He seems like a nice guy.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you spent an hour with him.” Xiaojun joked, and you giggled lightly along with him. The tension had eased with the promise of food, and you found it a lot easier to get along with him when your homework wasn’t in front of you. He was sweet when you tutored him, but he became a different person when he was off campus, and you liked how much more free he seemed, released from the burden of social pressures and being the new kid. It made you wonder how much you didn’t know about him when he wasn’t trying to learn how to do math.
It also made you wonder how you didn’t notice how pretty he was until now.
“The service here is hella slow.” A voice yawned from a few tables away, and you startled, not sure how you didn’t realize the restaurant was occupied by customers other than yourselves, but when you saw the familiar face lounging at a table in the back, you felt your blood boil.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Yangyang?!” You yelled, standing up, your chair crashing to the ground from your abrupt movement. Xiaojun stood up with you, hands out as he attempted to sooth you, but he was rendered wordless, unsure of how to do so. “God, can’t I go anywhere without you following me?!”
“Jeez, not my fault you chose my favorite hotpot spot to eat at.” He shrugged, and Xiaojun noticed he was with two of his friends that you recognized from class. Jun something and Chen, but he didn’t have time to remember properly. You, on the other hand, had eyes clouded with red that could barely register the two sitting beside him, eyes trained and focused on the blond who seemed intent on ruining your life.
“God, you’re so annoying.” You grumbled, before sitting back down, frustration clear on your face, and what you thought would be a peaceful lunch was ruined. Xiaojun leaned in a little closer as he put his hand on your shoulder to soothe you.
“Don’t let him affect you.” He whispered furtively, blocking your conversation from the nosy boy a few tables over. “He wants to see you get mad. Just take some deep breaths and pretend he doesn’t exist.” A part of you wanted to tell him that you didn’t need to be coached and talked to like a toddler —you had been putting up with this for years and you knew how to handle it— but the other part of you knew he was right. So you listened, taking a deep breath or two before putting a relaxed smile on your face.
“I’m fine.” You said, and Xiaojun grinned along with you, leaning back into his seat and continuing your conversation as if nothing had happened.
You found that Yangyang, although he threw dirty looks at your table for the whole meal, didn’t bother you. Not once did he throw a deprecating comment your way or beg for help with school. He didn’t make fun of you from afar for being all over Xiaojun, he even hit Chenle’s shoulder when he tried to make fun of you for not having the money to pay for the meal, and that your boyfriend had to pay for you.
Maybe Xiaojun was right. Maybe all Yangyang wanted was to make you mad, and if you deprived him of that reaction, he would stop. Maybe it was exactly like your mother told you when she warned you not to let bullies know they upset you. None of it really mattered though. The only thing you could think of was how satisfying it was to frustrate him the way he frustrated you.
⋰˚☆
Wednesday night rolled around, and Yangyang was preparing for his habitual horror movie night, which seemed to be occurring much more than usual as of late. A bowl of popcorn the size of his head in his lap, and a full 7 liter of Coca Cola on the coffee table, he was fully prepared to cuddle into his couch and lose himself in the gory goodness of a proper horror film– at least until he heard a knock on his door. 
You didn’t want to knock on Yangyang’s door. In fact, despite living just across from him, you were hoping you could live the rest of your life without laying a finger on his snobby, two story house that he practically owned from how often he was home alone. But here you were, standing on his doorstep with a coat up to your chin, breath cold and wispy in the chilly night air, a plastic bag in your hand as you waited for the little brat to open the door so you could go home and enjoy a cup of hot cocoa and a drama before bed.
The door creaked open slowly, his delicate hand gripping the handle, standing at the top of the stairs while you stood at the bottom. Decked out head to toe in fluffy blue cloud pajamas, it made you wonder how many matching sets of fuzzy pajamas he had stored in his closet. You held out the bag silently, and he stared at it like it was coated in acid, and might melt his hand off if he touched the surface of it.
“What’s that?” He said skeptically, taking the bag from your hand and peeking at its contents dubiously. You shoved your hands into your pockets immediately upon relinquishing the bag.
“Stir fry.” He looked at you with wide eyes, opening the tupperware inside the plastic and taking in the fresh aroma of the still-warm food. “My brother made it. He thought you might be hungry.”
“And you willingly delivered it?”
“Hell no. He made me.”
“And you didn’t spit in it?” You cocked your head, giving him a mysterious smile, and if he didn’t think you spit in it before, he definitely did now.
“Why don’t you find out?” He shut the lid of tupperware with a doubtful look on his face, slipping it back inside the bag and holding it behind his back like you might try and take it from him. He looked you up and down with narrowed eyes, halfway expecting you to start laughing and pull a cake out of your enormous jacket and smash it into his face: maybe with a camera filming. But you did no such thing, just silently waiting for a reaction at the bottom of the staircase with your hands in your pockets.
“Thanks.” He said after a moment of thought, and you shrugged.
“I didn’t make it.” As you prepared to take your exit, he took a few steps down the stairs, stopping you in your tracks. “What?” Even after coming after you, he didn’t say anything for a minute, mouth just opening and closing like a fish.
“Come inside.”
“What?” You scoffed. “No thanks, I’d rather go home.” His moment of indecision seemed to melt away, the good old Yangyang coming out to play as he pouted, leaning against the door with a shit eating grin on his face.
“Come on, we can study. Bring your notes and I’ll share my popcorn.” With that, he retreated inside and slammed the door. You sighed, shoving your hands into your pockets again and walking home. You would never understand him.
A few minutes passed after your return to home when the blond peeked his head out the window, watching you sit down on your couch and pull out your laptop.
“Y/n!” He screeched, and you rolled your eyes, standing up to shut the window with a sarcastic smile. He groaned in annoyance, making his way to the front door and approaching your window. He didn’t bother to rap on the window, taking advantage of his height to slide the window open from the outside and clamber inside, his upper half peeking into your living room by the time you reached him.
“Go away.” You hissed. “My brother just came back from college. He’s sleeping.”
“Fuck your brother.”
“That’s an odd command. You might want to get some of your kinks checked out.” He glared at you, his body from the torso up still through the window.
“Come on, I seriously will fail Chemistry.”
“Again, not my problem.”
“Please? I’ll pay you.” He begged, hands together and threatening to slip out once both hands left the windowsill.
“Y/n?” Your brother called sleepily from the staircase, rubbing his eyes tiredly, and you looked up in surprise, hands instinctively reaching to push Yangyang away from the scene, which conveniently meant pushing him out the window.
“Yes?” You asked innocently, a loud ‘oof!’ sound coming from behind you as Yangyang hit the ground roughly, and you slammed the window shut. Your brother rubbed his eyes again, staring at you questioningly and trying to peek over your shoulder to see what was happening outside.
“Everything okay?” He asked suspiciously, and you nodded with a very wide and very fake grin stretched across your face.
“Just peachy, Kun. Go to sleep.” You said, releasing your grip on the windowsill and hurrying over to him, ushering him back up the staircase as he tried to protest. Once he was safely shut in his room, although not willingly, you rushed downstairs and peeked out the window to see a heap of limbs collapsed on the floor. You bit back a snicker, not very well, and called out to the fallen boy. “You okay?”
“You bitch.” He spat from the floor, attempting to collect himself and stand up, grimacing at the feeling of his sore limbs. “I can’t believe you pushed me.”
“Relax, it was like five feet.” You snickered, and he glared up at you indignantly.
“I don’t even want the notes anymore.” He brushed himself off and got to his feet, striding back to his house —more like stomping petulantly. You rolled your eyes, knowing he was going to be in a horrible mood the next day if you didn’t chase after him. He truly knew how to get what he wanted.
“Wait,” You said, snatching your notebook off the table and climbing out the window after him, deftly landing on your feet. You figured it was faster than going out the front door, and the latter would surely arouse your brother a second time, which would also arouse many questions about why you’re trying to leave the house in pajamas and a coat at nearly midnight. “I’ll give you the stupid notes.” He turned slowly at your words, his fast pace coming to a stop as he stared at you, watching as you walked over with your hands in your pockets.
“This isn’t a prank, is it? I might not look it, but I’m actually quite sensitive.”
“You do look it, and no, it’s not a prank.” You rolled your eyes, climbing the steps to his front door and gesturing to the door. “Are you gonna let me in?”
“I guess I could.” He muttered, letting you through and into his living room.
It had been quite a long time since you were in Yangyang’s house. The last time you could remember was in 6th grade, when his mother invited your family over for their annual dinner party around Christmastime. Yangyang dumped pickled herring into your purse and you shoved his face into the platter of rosolli. Safe to say you were never invited over after that.
His house was still as nice as you remembered. Not enormous, but quite spacious, it was decorated with vases of flowers and pieces of artwork that looked like they cost more than your tuition. The couch was covered with fuzzy blankets and a bowl of popcorn, the coffee table holding a few remotes and a 7 liter of Coke that you assumed was for the boy’s movie night. He flopped down onto the cushions, the tupperware in his hands and sufficiently reheated, and when you stood frozen he motioned for you to follow him. You slowly sat on the couch, somewhat afraid that you might break something and his parents would never let you back inside. Although that would give you a nice excuse to avoid tutoring their son.
“It doesn’t matter if you break anything.” Yangyang derided, reading your mind. “We can get another one if we really need to. Mother won’t mind.”
Oh the life of the rich.
“Right.” You said awkwardly, attempting to get comfortable, pulling a blanket over your lap. “I brought my notes. I thought we could start with lesson four on-”
“Movie first.” Yangyang dismissed, picking up the remote and clicking a few buttons. You scoffed, leaning back into the couch silently and not trying to protest, which was a first. You tried to keep Xiaojun’s tactics in mind, to just take a breath and ignore him. You weren’t giving him what he wanted, no, you were just smarter than to fight with him.
The movie started up, a terrifying film called Midnight about a deaf girl who discovers a serial killer’s identity. This one was certainly going to give you nightmares: you could still see the smile on the killer’s face every time you closed your eyes. Luckily the actor was ridiculously hot, so that did well to dampen your fears, at least slightly.
You let out a gasp when the serial killer swung his ax mere centimeters from the girl’s head, and you swore you almost jumped up off the couch from the suspense. Yangyang watched you from a few feet over, amused at how seriously you were taking the movie and wondering how he didn’t know you were such a horror wimp.
“That’s so scary.” You whispered as the girl ran to hide in the bathroom, and he only decimated the door with his ax, leaving her no place to hide. “Imagine, being chased by someone with an ax. That’s terrifying.”
“It’s not real, y/n.”
“It could be, though.” You said, obviously frightened, and he chuckled under his breath. Something about the way you stared at the screen, enraptured with wide eyes, was somewhat… cute. It took him a moment to realize what he just thought, and he stuck his tongue out at his own gross actions. How could he think that? How could his brain actually form those thoughts, about you, no less? He wasn’t paying attention when the killer came on screen, joyfully chasing after the girl on the street, only seeing the way your eyes widened. When he brought out his ax again, you screamed, and before he knew what he was doing, he clapped a hand over your mouth. Both of you stared at each other in shock of his action, a foot or so apart. He cleared his throat, pulling his hand away and covering his own mouth sheepishly.
“It’s late. Try not to scream.” He muttered, and you nodded silently. You could still feel the print of where his hand was on your mouth, warm and burning.
The movie finished in silence. You were too petrified to speak —and too polite to scream— and Yangyang felt a bit too awkward to make conversation.
“It’s over.” He sighed, feeling as though the movie might never end, clicking the power button on the remote and powering down the TV. As the screen went blank, he suddenly noticed that you had been quiet for quite a time. “What’d you think-” He cut himself off, immediately quieting down when he noticed the way your mouth opened in deep breaths, eyes closed and leaning against the cushions with your head back. Soft snores escaped your mouth, and for a moment, Yangyang considered taking a photo, but he pushed away the mischievous part of him and left you be. Pulling a blanket over you and propping your head up on a pillow, he clicked off the light and retreated upstairs to get some sleep. He would need it.
The morning was going to be hectic.
⋰˚☆
You woke up in your bed, kicking the blankets off of you as you wiped the drool dripping from the right corner of your mouth. You had just had the worst nightmare. Yangyang, dressed in cloud pajamas and a balaclava, had chased you down the street with a scythe yelling out chemistry formulas. You shook off the odd feeling your dream had washed over you, looking around your bedroom. Your walls were a pale blue, a lamp almost the height of the ceiling towering over your figure, and vases of flowers were on the table in front of you. You didn’t have a coffee table by your bed. But you weren’t in your bed, you realized, sitting up ramrod straight on the couch in alarm. No way you had just spent the night at Liu Yangyang’s house.
“Oh, you’re awake.” Yangyang said, wandering into the living room with only a pair of plaid pajama pants and one sock on, a bowl of cereal in his right hand and a toothbrush in his left, making you wonder if he was attempting to eat and brush his teeth at the same time. “You looked dead when I woke up, but you were snoring so at least I knew you could breathe.” He said, and you tossed the remote at him, bruising his bare chest as he yelped and covered it protectively, dropping his toothbrush.
“Why didn’t you wake me up, stupid?!” You yelled, fretting and attempting to check the time on your phone, which you now realized you left at home. “Class is probably going to start in five minutes and I Kun doesn’t know where I am-”
“Y/n.” Yangyang interrupted with a skeptical look, picking up his toothbrush from the floor and looking at it sadly before continuing. “It’s 7:30 in the morning, and you are aware you live one house over, are you not?” Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment, and he smirked at the fluster in your expression.
“I-I know.” You said indignantly, trying to regain some of your pride. “Kun’s probably worried about me.”
“Well why don’t you scurry a few meters down the street and tell him not to get his knickers in a twist?” Yangyang rolled his eyes, dropping his now-empty bowl of cereal into the sink when a knock came from the door. He approached it, peering out the peephole and sighing. “Speak of the devil.” He unlocked the door, swinging it open to reveal a rather frantic boy in his early twenties with dark blue hair and a panicked expression.
“Where’s y/n?”
“Good morning to you too, Mr. Qian.” Yangyang said tiredly.
“Do you know where y/n is? Go ask your mom.”
“Your sister is right here, if that’s what you’re looking for.” Yangyang said, stepping aside to reveal you waiting in the back with a sheepish smile, waving slightly before tucking your hands behind your back.
“Y/n?” Kun asked, shock evident in his face as he took in the sight of you. “What the hell are you wearing?” You looked down, not quite sure why he was asking until you saw your thin tank top and lacy shorts, the pajamas you had worn under your coat before you came over, the coat you had worn all night. You glared at Yangyang, who just shrugged with a coy smile.
“You bastard. Where’s my coat?”
“In the closet, dork.” He sneered, and you pushed past him to the front closet, snatching your jacket and covering your body up insecurely.
“Y/n.” Kun said with a warning tone, motioning for you to follow him, and you obeyed, not wanting to upset him any further. He led you out the door and you meekly trailed after him down the steps, lips pressed together tightly. Yangyang leaned on the door frame, a smug smile on his face as he watched you go, one hand cupped around his mouth while he yelled out.
“You’re not staying for breakfast?” He called. You turned around to flip him off, to which he just blew a kiss, which you ignored. God, he knew how to drive you insane.
“Y/n, what the hell were you doing spending that night at Yangyang’s house?” Kun asked, shutting the door behind you and watching as you went to the kitchen immediately, pulling out a piece of bread to eat it untoasted. You were starving.
“I fell asleep while we were,” You hesitated to tell the truth. “Studying.”
“Is that what happened?” Kun asked skeptically, arms crossed over his chest. “And he didn’t fall out of the window last night?” Fuck. Yeah, he knew. “Y/n, I want you to be honest with me.” He leaned in, putting a hand on your shoulder and sighing. “Are you dating Yangyang?” You almost spat out the bread you were eating.
“What?! Of course not!”
“Well, what else am I supposed to think? He crawls through your window at midnight, and now you’re spending the night at his house? I mean, I thought you didn’t like each other but I guess anything can change-”
“This isn’t a romance novel, Kun.” You bit back. “I don’t like Yangyang, and I never will. We’re not dating, I just fell asleep after we watched a movie.”
“Oh.” Kun said, crossing his arms with a relieved expression. “Well, if that’s all, then go get dressed and I’ll drive you. We can’t have you going to school in a tank top and a thong.”
“They’re mini shorts, Kun.” You spat, wrapping the coat further around you and running up the stairs, hoping you had enough time to pick out a proper outfit before school started. As you disappeared up to the second floor, Kun stood by the base of the stairs, thinking hard before cupping his hands around his mouth.
“If you are having sex with him, use protection, okay?”
“Kun!”
Not thirty minutes passed before a knock came on your front door. Still in the middle of applying your mascara, you rushed downstairs to answer if before Kun could yell at you, and lo and behold, guess who was at the door?
“You take a long damn time to get ready.” Yangyang deadpanned, already dressed in a burgundy hoodie and baggy gray sweats, bangs fluffy and shaggy in his eyes.
“Nobody asked you to time me.” You said sarcastically, not inviting him in but not denying him when he stepped through the door frame, hands in his pockets and waiting on the doormat so as not to sully your hardwood floors with his shoes.
“I’ve been waiting on your doorstep for almost twenty minutes. Hurry up.”
“Why don’t you just go on without me.” You retorted, and he rolled his eyes, huffing in annoyance as he grabbed hold of your arm and pulled you through the door, barely giving you time to snatch your backpack and phone off the shelf by the exit. “Slow down, will you?!” After a moment of walking, he released your arm and walked by your side in silence.
It was uncharacteristic of Yangyang to ever be quiet, much less in your presence. He always had a witty remark, always had a one-liner or a gesture that would annoy you so he could keep your conversation going back and forth like pinball. But here he was, hands in his pockets, walking beside you like you hadn’t spent the past 9 or so years bickering with him nonstop. He seemed peaceful.
“You know, I’ve been thinking a bit about that boy in class,” He started, taking his hands out of his pockets to brush hair out of his eyes, breathing out wispy strands of white fog escaping his mouth as he looked up at the gray sky. “Xiaojun, is his name?”
“Yeah.” You answered suspiciously. “What about him?”
“I think his cousin’s hotpot is pretty good.” He said. Dead silence, at least until you laughed, the sound echoing through the empty street. “What?”
“That’s all you wanted to say?” You chuckled, your laugh visible in the air from the heat of your breath. “You sound so somber today.”
“I’m just thoughtful.” He pouted, shoving his hands back into his pockets. “Is it bad to be thoughtful?”
“I reckon it’s better than not.” You said, laughs beginning to fade as you walked, school in sight, both of your hands in your pockets. Silence washed over the two of you, and you suddenly found that Yangyang was a bit more bearable than you thought, albeit his silence was beginning to concern you. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.
“Y/n?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I borrow your chemistry notes for fourth period?” There he was. You thought you might’ve broken him.
“There you are!” Xiaojun yelled, running over to the gate as you and Yangyang finally reached the school. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
“What’s up?” You asked, taking a few steps ahead of the boy beside you. Xiaojun approached the two of you, slowing his pace and looking Yangyang up and down suspiciously, eyes narrowed.
“Not much,” He continued after a moment. “Mr. Choi is assigning a pop quiz in third period for our last unit. Don’t ask how I know.”
“You think you’re ready?”
“I could use a quick review.”
“Well,” You said, swinging your backpack around to the front and digging through it for your notebook. You pulled it out successfully, holding it up with a smile. “I think we have time to go over the text.” Yangyang watched the two of you chatter, watched as you slowly migrated closer to Xiaojun and split off from the blond haired boy, walking across campus like he had never been there in the first place.
And boom, just like that, your moment of closeness was over before it started.
⋰˚☆
Xiaojun had finally decided to return to your friend group, physically recovered and no longer emotionally traumatized. Under the willow tree, everything felt comfortable. It was your group’s little safe haven, a shady wonderland of tolerable people, good food, and good laughs: you found it was your favorite time of the school day, when you could go out and sit with your friends for lunch.
“Ah, the fresh meat is back!” Ten exclaimed, welcoming Xiaojun with a pat on the back that felt more like a slap, and made him lurch forward. “Got over the dong chim?”
“I don’t know what that is.” Xiaojun said, his hand instinctively moving to cover his backside, and you leaned in to whisper the answer. “Oh. Yes, I suppose so.” “You’re lucky I’m feeling gracious today.” Hendery said peacefully from his usual position, head on Karina’s lap and legs spread out across the grass serenely. You and Xiaojun sat down at the edge of the shade, dropping your things onto the dewy grass and kicking your shoes off. Xiaojun seemed to gravitate in your direction, and as far as possible away from Hendery’s fingers, which were laying on the grass.
“Thanks for that.” Xiaojun said sarcastically, but the slight smile on his face contrasted his facetious tone. At least he seemed back to enjoying himself. Karina leaned over to you, taking a roll of kimbap from her lunch and shoving it between your lips.
“Eat. You look like hell.”
“Thanks.” You scoffed between bites, mouth full and chomping on the bite of food, which was admittedly quite delicious. “Didn’t know I looked that bad.”
“You look fine.” Sicheng said, smacking Karina lightly on the back of the head and wincing when Hendery responded by tapping his shoe not-so-lightly against the space between his legs in warning. “Just like you’re lacking sleep, that’s all.”
“I stayed up watching Midnight last night.”
“You’re kidding.” Ten scoffed, taking another bite of his sandwich. “With who?”
“Who says I didn’t watch it alone?” You challenged, and almost everyone in the group gave you a knowing look, with the exception of Xiaojun who just looked confused by the entire conversation.
“C’mon y/n, we all know you’re a coward when it comes to horror. Watching that alone would be suicide for you.” Karina said matter of factly, popping her lips with satisfaction before chomping on a bite of kimbap. You rolled your eyes, still not answering and turning your focus onto your bag of lunch, still clutched in your hand.
“What are we eating?” A raspy voice said, one that sounded a bit too familiar for comfort. You tilted your head up to meet the eyes of Yangyang, who was holding a lunchbox in one hand, the other shoved deep in the pocket of his sweats.
“God, not you.” Ten sighed, eyes boring into Yangyang’s head, but he paid no mind, just looking at you expectantly and waiting for you to answer his question.
“Congee and chicken.” You said exasperatedly, tearing apart a piece of steamed bun to eat with your porridge and bracing yourself for the inevitable request or teasing remark he would have for you. But, to your surprise, he had none, simply making his way next to you and laying down on his stomach, letting out a satisfactory groan once he was comfortable. The rest of the group whispered to each other upon his entrance, but he only looked up at you to gauge your reaction.
You were staring at him like the gum on the bottom of your shoe began to talk.
“You look like shit.” He commented, noticing the dark circles under your eyes and turning to his lunch box, searching through what he had packed in the morning.
“Thanks. That’s the second time someone’s told me that today.” You said, glaring in Karina’s direction, and she only shrugged with a small smile. “I didn’t sleep well.”
“What, did the movie freak you out?” He snickered, but let out a loud ‘oof!’ sound when you smacked him on the back. “Coward.”
“Dude, shut the fuck up.” You hissed at him. The rest of the friend group looked between the two of you in shock, Hendery’s mouth gaped open like a fish and Karina looking at you like you just ran over her dog.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Ten laughed in disbelief, shaking his head like he didn’t understand what had just been said. “You guys watched Midnight, together?” Yangyang just scoffed, jabbing his thumb up at you as you stammered.
“As if y/n has the balls to watch it alone.” You hit him again.
“I don’t have balls, you overgrown zygote, and maybe if you used your brain once in a while you’d realize that not everyone likes watching people get massacred.”
“Lemme get some of that.” Yangyang ignored your comment, pointing to the bun in your hand, doused in congee and sesame oil.
“Fuck no. Get your own.”
“I only packed white bread, y/n. White bread. I have nothing in my fridge.”
“Sounds like that’s your problem.” You denied him, but when he gave you the stupid face he always did: eyes large and lower lip jutting out petulantly, you rolled your eyes and shoved a piece of bun in his mouth. He chewed with a smile, flashing a thumbs up before turning back to his lunch.
Ten looked horrified, pulling the rest of the group together while you weren’t paying attention, his voice lowering to a whisper.
“Is Liu Yangyang really eating lunch with us?” Karina asked in disgust, and the rest gulped, watching you two eat and bicker with bated breath. 
“I can’t believe he had the balls to come over here.” Sicheng spat. Xiaojun was quite confused. All he had seen Yangyang do so far was fuck with you once in a while during class or beg you for notes, nothing that bad, but he had never seen Sicheng spit before so he figured it must be a pretty serious situation.
“This is a code red.” Ten said gravely, using his lanky arms to pull the group into a huddle. “We can’t let Yangyang sit with us. Our reputation will be ruined!”
“I’m pretty sure our reputation is worse than his.” Hendery mused, but went silent when Karina pinched his thigh. “Right. Code red.”
“Yeah. Code red.” Xiaojun echoed, still not quite sure what was happening.
“I’ll talk to y/n about it another time.” Karina said, and the boys nodded, backing away before you could catch onto their plotting, but luckily you were too immersed in your bickering to take notice.
⋰˚☆
“You seem oddly cheery today.” Karina said suspiciously. A week flew by like nothing and she barely saw you with your nose out of your textbook, and eventually she had decided to drop by your house in the morning to see what was going on with you, only to find that you were in a better mood than she had seen you in years.
You tucked one hand into the pocket of your hoodie with a soft smile, staring up at the cloudy, gray sky and letting the breeze graze your face. You were always fond of cloudy days. They always seemed so serene, sunshine was overrated.
“I suppose I have been happy lately.” You pondered, taking a sip of your coffee, which you had decided to take a-la-carte that day. “Not sure why.”
“I could take a guess.” Karina said under her breath, but you didn’t catch her comment, just sipping on your hot drink with foggy eyes. “How’s Yangyang?”
“How the hell would I know?” You scoffed incredulously.
“You’ve been seeing him a lot lately.”
As much as you didn’t want to admit it, there was truth to her words. Not only was Yangyang beginning to lower his average bitchiness levels when you were around, he no longer had any teasing comments of immature pranks to throw at you. He had even begun joining your lunch group on a semi-weekly basis, and the group had adopted him more easily than you thought. Hendery was already preparing to toss his backpack into the river that runs through the courtyard, so you assumed they had taken a liking to him. Yangyang had changed, that was undeniable. You just weren’t sure exactly what changed him, and why.
“I still don’t like him, Rin.” You protested, and she gave you a knowing look.
“It’s okay to say you’re friends now. I don’t think anybody will believe you if you say you still hate him the way you used to.”
“Yangyang might be part of the group now, but I’ve hated him for years. That’s not going to go away in an instant.” You said, and she shrugged, figuring it was easier to agree now and argue later. Speak of the devil, a flurry of skinny limbs and denim came running down the concrete, coming to a screeching stop once it reached you.
“Ladies,” Yangyang said playfully, bowing and tipping the navy trucker hat on his head gracefully, a bag of fruit snacks in his hand. “What are we talking about?”
“None of your business.” You said, planting your palm on his face and pushing him back a significant amount. “Go away.”
“Aw, c'mon. You’re not still mad because I beat you at call of duty, are you? It’s not my fault you’re shit at games.”
“What’d you say?” You exclaimed, turning around to flick him in the forehead. “I’m not shit at games, you’re just a cheater. Literally everyone knows you cheat.”
“Your mom.” He tossed a fruit snack your way, which you caught with a scowl.
“What?” Yangyang laughed at your confusion as you reached for his face, attempting to flick his forehead a second time. Karina sighed, watching the two of you bicker like usual, although even she could tell there was something different about it now. Something in the way he laughed, no longer menacing but only amused, something in the way you chased after him with a smile instead of a scowl. 
Things were changing, and Karina knew you two would be the last to know.
Xiaojun looked exceptionally pretty that morning. I mean, Xiaojun always looked pretty, but something about the way the soft gray light hit his features, his hair shaggy in his face and his lips pursed in concentration made your heartbeat speed up irrationally. The library was practically empty, most of the students spending their free period messing around or being around their friends, but the two of you sat silently together to finish your homework, and what might be your last tutoring session in a while. It made you sad, the idea of not spending your usual hours with Xiaojun, and as far as you were concerned, you were going to drown yourself in his beauty for as long as possible before the two of you inevitably had to end your studying.
It took quite a while to realize, but you knew you were harboring feelings for the boy. And every day that passed, it became increasingly harder to pretend you didn’t, harder every day that you had to sit across from the beautiful boy for hours at a time and tutor him on things you could care less about. You gulped, hoping the saliva would satiate the fire inside your stomach, which it didn’t.
“I’m confused about this one,” Xiaojun started, the tip of his pencil, the one you lent him with pink hearts and a white sleeve, prodding between his lips. “‘Find the exact value of the expression sin (arccos ¼).” He read the question aloud, hands gripping the sheet of paper as he squinted to make out the words. “Wouldn’t it be the negative square root of 15 over 4?” You rested your head on your upturned palm, tongue poking in your right cheek as you watched him squint. Squinting wasn’t cute, it wasn’t cute at all, but for some reason the way he narrowed his eyes and peered at the paper in annoyance was so undeniably adorable. “Y/n, are you listening?”
“Huh?” You startled out of your reverie, lifting your head off of your hand and clearing your throat. “Uh, yeah. That’s the right answer.” Xiaojun pumped his fist in excitement, a smile on his pretty face, before he lifted his hand to you. Unable to suppress a matching smile, you high fived him, taking careful note of the way he intertwined your fingers and set your hands on the table instead of letting go. You had to tell him. “Um, Xiaojun?”
All the resolve you had melted away when he looked at you with questioning eyes, wide and wondering. You cleared your throat a second time, rubbing your lips together tensely and wondering how you could convey what you were thinking.
“I’ve wanted to tell you for a while, but,” You started, and you could see the cogs in his brain turning rapidly, his hand slowly pulling away from yours. Despite the slight heartbreak you felt when his hand left yours, you grit your resolve and gathered your courage for what you were about to say. “...I like you.” He bit his lower lip tightly. “I like you a lot, and I’m not sure when it started, but I had to tell you.” He didn’t say anything for what felt like an eternity, and you felt like the silence was killing you.
There weren’t many students in the library, but the few nearby were listening with just as much interest as you were, including a black haired girl one table over.
Finally, Xiaojun opened his mouth to give you a response, and you felt like your heart might burst from the suspense.
“I’m sorry y/n,” Your expectant expression came crashing down. “I just don’t feel about you that way. I’m really sorry.” You pushed back the feelings that wanted to erupt from your chest and spill out your mouth like a river, just gritting your teeth in a forced smile and nodding your head. “We can still be friends, right?”
“Of course we can.” You said nonchalantly, and luckily Xiaojun didn’t seem to see through your facade. “Really, don’t take anything I said seriously. I’m sure I just mistook friendship for something else.” Xiaojun had a tense expression, but he sighed and nodded anyway, a small smile on his pretty lips.
“I think I should get going.” He glanced at his phone. “Class is starting soon, and I promised Ms. Kwan I would get there early to review my trig packet.” He collected his supplies in one sweep and shoved them into his bag, eyes lingering on you when you didn’t follow. “You coming?” You shook your head, tugging your lip between your teeth.
“I think I’m gonna finish real quick. You go ahead, I’ll see you later.” He hesitated to leave, but when he saw the shining droplets threatening to fall in the corner of your eyes, he left, knowing the least he could do was spare you the embarrassment of seeing you cry. Once he was gone, the tears that were precariously perched in your eyes fell, streaming down your face like waterfalls as you sniffled. It was embarrassing, to be crying in the middle of the library over a boy who only thinks of you as a friend, especially when your best friend was sitting a table over, and she had definitely seen and heard everything.
Karina rushed over to you as soon as Xiaojun was out of sight, pulling you into a hug and wiping the stray tears from your cheeks, letting you sob into her sweater, mouth parted in silent cries.
“I’m sorry, y/n.” She whispered, using her back to shield you from the curious students sitting a few tables away, reaching her hand back to flip them off, which quickly convinced them to stop staring. “I’m sorry, he doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
“I-it’s not his fault.” You sniffled, but you knew it was Karina’s duty as your best friend to be pissed at anyone who breaks your heart, or at least that’s what she thought. “I guess I just misread things. I really thought he liked me.”
“We all did.” Karina said sympathetically, patting your back gently and soothing you until your sobs began to quiet down. “It’s okay, love. It’s okay.”
“Y/n!” A voice yelled from the entrance, before being scolded by the librarian for being too loud. Karina cursed, using her sleeve to try and conceal your puffy face from the incoming boy, hands on his hips and a bag of fruit snacks in his hand. “Hey, did you know that Mr. Kang is dating one of the student teachers-” he cut himself short, freezing in his tracks when he spotted your puffy, red eyes, and the tear stains running through your makeup, mascara streaks going down your cheek. “Are you okay?” He asked urgently, pulling out a chair next to you, all intent of gossiping out of his mind the moment he saw your distressed face. He reached out a hand, which Karina slapped away quickly, contempt evident in her expression. “What happened?” He asked, and Karina looked at you for permission, which you granted with a nod.
“Her crush just rejected her.” Karina said quietly, giving you a gentle rub on the back when you choked up at her words, more tears spilling from your eyes.
Something in Yangyang’s eyes shifted, and he opened his mouth and closed it, not quite sure of what to say to make you feel better. Before his mind could think of what to do, his body made the decision for him, reaching out a hand to pat the top of your head. You looked at him with confused eyes, wiping your nose, but despite your questioning gaze, he just stroked your hair, before offering you the packet of gummies in his hand. You took the bag from him, staring at it blankly before a little chuckle escaped your mouth. You looked up at him gratefully, and he met you with a soft smile.
“Thanks.” You said softly, wiping the tears from your eyes as he watched awkwardly. After you had sufficiently collected yourself, he held out his hand for you to take, which after a moment of reluctance, you did.
“Class starts soon. We should go.” He said, testing the waters, and you nodded, standing up using his hand to assist you, and brushing the tears from your shirt. Karina stood with you, watching suspiciously as Yangyang helped you walk to class, hand still clasped with yours. You looked back to see if Karina would follow, and she wiped the frown from her face, replacing it with a grin.
“My class is on the other side of campus. I’ll see you at lunch!” She said cheerily, and you gave her a thumbs up and a small smile. When your head turned back around, she sighed and picked up her bag, readying to leave for class.
“Something about him is different now.” She murmured, pulling her backpack over her shoulder and exiting the library with a thoughtful frown.
⋰˚☆
Xiaojun didn’t come to sit with the group at lunch. Neither did Karina and Hendery, the latter of which had to drive his girlfriend to her dentist appointment while her parents were out of town, and once Ten and Sicheng realized they would have to eat lunch alone with you and Yangyang, they promptly split up to their respective other friend groups, leaving the two of you alone under the willow tree.
“Some friends.” You muttered under your breath, taking notice of Ten and Sicheng chatting up their friends Jaehyun and Jungwoo across the courtyard, and Yangyang chuckled at your bitter tone.
“What, you don’t wanna be left alone with me?” He asked, feigning offense, already flopped on his stomach and comfortably with his shoes off.
“Hm, not really.” You teased, lowering yourself onto your stomach with him before opening your lunchbox. In all honesty, you could care less about having to eat alone with the blond boy. You were just relieved that Xiaojun had decided to dine elsewhere, not sure if you could handle an entire hour of pretending that everything was okay. Your chest was aching like you hadn’t felt in an eternity, and it was a harsh reminder that high school romances aren’t always like the ones in the novels.
“You okay?” Yangyang asked, nudging you in the side, and you faked a smile.
“Just fine.” You lied through your teeth, peeking into your lunchbox to see what you had packed for today. You didn’t have time to make lunch that morning, leaving the task up to your brother, whom you weren’t sure if you trusted the task to.
And for good reason. Inside was a single tangerine and a bowl of rice. You were gonna kick his ass when you got home.
Yangyang noticed the way you shut your lunch with a sigh, taking a peek into your bag and furrowing his eyebrows when he saw your weak excuse of a lunch, but switching to a bright expression when he had an idea.
“You have a tangerine?” He asked with lit up eyes.
“...Yes?” You said skeptically, and he held out his hand for it, which you reluctantly handed over. He dug his fingers through the outer layer of vermillion, pulling off the peel bit by bit while he hummed.
“Mind if I take your tangerine? I’ll share.” He offered, still peeling, and you looked over to see what he had packed, expecting nothing better than your own lunch based on his reputation. But to your surprise, inside his bag was a full spread of rice, tangsuyuk, cauliflower stir fry, and even a container with two freshly made mooncakes and a steamed bun. It was stunning, and definitely past his cooking capabilities.
“Did you make that?” You asked in disbelief, and he scoffed.
“Me? C’mon.” He laughed and you pressed your lips together so as not to smile. “My mom came back from her business trip in Taiwan and made me lunch. She told me to share it with my friends. She’s getting used to cooking Korean food. No more schnitzel, I guess.” He joked, and you snorted. You noticed a small purple orchid tucked in the corner of the lunchbox and you cocked your head with curiosity.
“Orchid?”
“My mom’s favorite flower.” Yangyang shrugged, taking it into his hands. “She puts one in here when she gets a chance. To remind me of her, or something.”
“I love orchids. They’re my favorite flower.” You commented, watching fondly as he stared at the orchid as though it were his own mother in his hands.
“You can have it.” He said, passing it over to you tenderly, and you nodded in appreciation, tucking the fresh flower behind your ear delicately while he tried not to look at your face. With a pop, he opened the plastic container and ripped apart the bun, handing half of it over to you.
“Thanks.” You said appreciatively, taking the bread from his hands and swiping it through the sauce of the stir fry, tucking the bun into your mouth until your cheeks looked like that of a squirrel’s while you chomped. Yangyang bit back a giggle at the sight, finding it oddly adorable. “What’re you laughing at?”
“No, nothing.” He dismissed quickly, picking up a piece of tangsuyuk and tucking it into your mouth before you had even finished chewing your previous bite.
“I can feed myself, thank you very much.” You said defensively, wiping off a bit of sauce that was sticky on your lips, and he pouted, a coy grin evident under the sulking.
“Well, that’s no fun.”
Silence washed over the two of you as you chewed, the occasional mundane topic passed from mouth to mouth before fading to background noise, both of you seeming to be unable to hold a conversation. Something was heavy in the air, and the obvious elephant in the room was blocking up Yangyang’s throat, and he wanted nothing more than to just ask the obvious question, but he found himself unable to, not wanting to upset you. This upset him even further, because since when was he unwilling to upset you? For a moment, he tried to summon up the courage of a past him, clearing his throat to gather your attention.
“Y/n,” He started hesitantly. “Can I ask you a question?”
“If it’s about what I think it is, no.” You said immediately. He huffed, reachin for his last ditch effort, pulling out the last container from his lunch and offering you one of the two mooncakes. You watched him warily as he extended the treat towards you, and you shook your head, but he held out his hand, unwavering. As much as you wanted to resist, the mooncake looked delicious: a caramel brown color, the top intricately stamped and soft in his hands, surely stuffed with some kind of filling like lotus seed or salted egg yolk. The last time you had one of Ms. Liu’s mooncakes was fifth grade, when she brought a case over as an apology on Yangyang’s behalf after he poured neon green hair dye in Kun’s shampoo. Yes, Yangyang’s contempt sometimes even extended to your family. But his mother’s soft mooncakes were so delicious, they almost made you forget the horrid color of your brother’s hair.
You gave in, taking it out of his hand with a roll of your eyes, and he smirked at his triumph, resting his chin on his upturned palm, elbow buried in the dewy grass.
“What do you wanna know?”
“Karina said your crush rejected you…” He trailed off when he saw the way your jaw tensed. “Was that Xiaojun?” You didn’t answer, taking a bite from the mooncake and chewing silently for a moment, which he took as a yes. His suspicions were confirmed when you nodded, sighing quietly.
“It was nothing, really. I just… I misunderstood.” You mumbled, and strangely enough, something in the boy felt a bit of distaste for the blue haired guy who broke your heart, Yangyang reaching over instinctively to pat your head again.
“Hey, he’s missing out. Imagine how many free tutoring sessions he could’ve got.” Yangyang snickered, and you reached out to smack him, which made him wince. “Hey, that’s actually a good idea. Y/n, will you be my girlfriend?”
“Very funny.” You bit back, but you had to admit, his joke lifted your mood. Something about Yangyang, his bright smile that shone like a thousand suns, his eyes that shone when he got excited —or maybe the way he never took anything seriously— was somewhat refreshing. “Only if your mom makes me mooncakes.”
“Sounds like a deal.” Yangyang said with finality, extending his hand for a shake, which you blew off with a scoff, slapping his hand away while he pouted.
“Shameless.” Ten shook his head, watching from the picnic tables as you and Yangyang bickered, the proximity between the two of you slowly shrinking with every snarky remark and giggling session.
“I don’t think it’s like that.” Sicheng defended you, and Ten simply continued to wag his head, turquoise bangs flowing like waves in a teal sea. “You saw Karina’s text, didn’t you? She just got rejected, by Xiaojun of all people. She doesn’t like Yangyang.”
“No, but he might like her.” Ten said, resting his chin on his palm. “Just because she likes Xiaojun doesn’t mean something can’t happen.”
“Karina’ll beat the shit outta Xiaojun later. He better watch out.” Sicheng sighed, reaching into his bag for a bottle of water.
“Speaking of, I haven’t seen him at all today.” Ten mused, wondering when the last time he saw the cerulean haired boy was. “Have you?” Sicheng went over his schedule, usually seeing Xiaojun between periods or on his way to the bathroom, but Ten was right. He was nowhere to be seen. Sicheng screwed the top off of his bottle, taking a thoughtful sip before shaking his head in confirmation.
“No. Didn’t see him once.” Ten furrowed his brows.
“Where is Xiaojun?”
⋰˚☆
Winter was finally ending soon, the sun peeking from its shelter behind the clouds and warming your face. The seat by the window was always your favorite, ever since you were a kid, the bay seat covered in cushions and positioned so that the sunshine hit at just the right angle, reflecting into rainbows off of the dangling crystal your mother gifted you years ago. 
The only downside was it faced Yangyang’s house. As a child, you despised him even further every time he ruined a moment in your favorite seat, yelling profanities out the window, tossing mudpies through the sill, or shooting nerf bullets at the crystal like it was a hanging target. But as of late, the days by the window became more bearable until it was back to being your favorite spot —and that Saturday afternoon you felt as though it would be the perfect nook to read a book with a warm cup of tea.
You barely made it to page 16 when there was an interruption.
A loud banging sound came from somewhere in the vicinity, and you looked up in alarm. Kun wasn’t home, he hardly was on Saturday as it was his designated day to go out with his college friends for a drink and some board games. Your eyes narrowly scanned the room, only for the banging sound to come again, this time clearly from across the street, particularly the window that faced yours.
As suspected, Yangyang’s head poked up from under the windowsill, hair mussed and wide eyes, panic clear on his face.
“Y/n,” He mouthed quietly, and you attempted to ignore him, looking back down to the pages of your book. “Y/n!” He whisper-yelled it this time, and you shut the book with an annoyed snap, head turning in his direction.
“What?” You hissed.
“My sister’s home.” You didn’t remember much about Yangyang’s sister, other than her being a lot more tolerable than him. She was sweet, with dark hair and a kind disposition, always willing to talk shit about her little brother with you when he wasn’t around, sometimes even bringing white rabbit and tamarind candies over to your house when she brought them back from her trips. As far as you could recall, the last time you had seen her was when you were thirteen, as she spent most of her time away at college or on trips back and forth from Germany and Taiwan.
“So what?” You huffed, and he gave you an urgent look, jabbing his thumb to the background of his house, and you could see an unknown male figure striding through the living room, cracking open a can of Cola before disappearing.
“She brought her boyfriend back from Germany. Apparently she’s been hiding him for years.” He looked back at the man’s receding figure and scowled. “The fuck is she even doing with a German guy?”
“Aren’t you from Germany?” You snorted, opening your book again.
“Yes, but I’m not white.” He glared at you. 
“Leave the poor guy alone.” Yangyang clicked his tongue, reaching out his window to rap his knuckles on the outside of the wooden windowsill, pulling your attention away from your novel.
“He calls me squirt, y/n. Squirt. That word isn’t in the bible.” You just rolled your eyes and tried to focus on your novel, but the words just blended into one mess, and you found yourself unable to concentrate. “I need you to get me out of the house.”
“Can’t you do that yourself?”
“She wants me to help her unpack, and I’m not allowed to leave until I do.”
“So just help her unpack then.”
“C’mon, y/n.” He whined, hands gripping the bottom of the windowsill and his entire upper half already out the window. “You know I hate packing.” It was true. Just a year previous, he had practically manipulated your brother into packing for him when he needed to take a trip with his father back to Taiwan. Kun came back into the house quite put out, and with a permanent scowl on his face. “Help me out, please? Just once.”
You knew it wouldn’t be just once, but you caved anyway. You couldn’t say no to him when he made that stupid face and did his whiny voice. Without a word, you shut your book and moved from the window, and from the expression on your face, Yangyang immediately knew he succeeded, running back inside and waiting for you to rescue him from his sister’s condescending boyfriend.
You rapped your knuckles three times on Yangyang’s front door, the white wood almost shaking in its frame from how hard you hit it. It took over a minute for anyone to come to the door, and you were mere seconds away from barging in and slapping some sense into the blond when it creaked open, someone unexpected behind it, Yangyang’s sister opening it rather than him. She looked different, the tips of her dark hair bleached a dusty blond that almost matched her brother, and you noticed she had grown a bit taller than the last time you saw her, hand resting on the door as her eyes widened at the sight of you.
“Oh, y/n! Gosh, you look so much older than the last time I saw you, I almost didn’t recognize you.” She said cheerily, and you found it hard to frown when she smiled so widely.  She surely had her brother’s smile. She looked you up and down, taking in the height you had gained and the way your figure had filled out more, your features more mature. She reached into the pocket of her sweats, pulling out a few white rabbit candies and dropping them into your hand. “Remember when I used to bring these? It’s been a long time, huh?”
“It has.” You said fondly, tucking the candies into your jacket.
“So, what brings you all the way over here?” She joked. “Is Yangyang bothering you again?”
“Actually, I was wondering if he was home.” You said with a gritted smile. “We’re supposed to get ice cream and see a movie.” You said. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but nonetheless, she turned back to yell her brother’s name. Before the first syllable was even uttered, Yangyang came running from behind the couch to the door, a big smile on his face and his shoes already on and ready, a hoodie thrown over his head.
“I’m home.” He said breathlessly, extending his hand for you to take, which you subtly rejected. Despite the rejection, he reached down and took your hand, not asking this time, and you held back a snarky comment to keep up appearances.
“Wait,” His sister laughed, almost in disbelief. “You two are going to see a movie? Together?” When you both nodded in unison, she raised her eyebrows. “Are you serious? Are you dating each other?”
“No-”
“Yes-” You said at the same time, both of you glaring at the other at the contrasting answers. You shook your head in defiance, but he just raised your knuckles to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss on them before pulling you closer to his side, his hand releasing yours and instead snaking smoothly around your waist. “Yes. We’re dating.” You didn’t have the courage or mental clarity to protest, still focused on your racing heart and cursing at it for beating so damn fast. 
“Alright, well have fun.” Yangyang’s sister gave a look of disbelief, before shutting the door without another word. Once the aperture was closed, you swatted Yangyang’s arm, prying the other one off of your waist.
“What the hell was that?” You hissed quietly, so as not to alert his sister.
“You think I want my sister to think she’s the only one in this family that pulls?”
“Isn’t she?” You retorted, and he frowned petulantly, pulling you away from the door in fear his sister might hear. “When’s the last time you had a girlfriend?”
“Hey, I’ve dated around! Ask your little friend Winter.” He smirked, watching your face twist in disgust.
“You dated Winter?!” You gripped his collar, and he laughed, attempting to get you off as you made your way down the street in quite a disorderly manner, one of Yangyang’s knees extended to push you away and one of your hands on his chest, the other gripping the neck of his tee shirt.
“Y/n, let go of me!”
As promised, the two of you made your way to Yangyang’s favorite ice cream parlor, one where he apparently knew the workers and could get a good discount on the frozen treats. You never rejected a discount. You insisted he pay to compensate you for helping him get out of the house, and he insisted you tutor him in Chemistry in return. In the end, you got what you wanted after a few pulls of his hair.
The two of you stood on the black and white tile, Yangyang begrudgingly clutching his wallet and your eyes shining over all the flavors in the display case.
“One scoop of strawberry cheesecake and another of whatever she wants.” He grumbled, handing a few bills to the parlor employee, who you recognized to be his friend from class, one that always hung around him but seemed to have a bit more sense than the rest of his immature friends.
“So, this is how you’ve been spending your time avoiding us?” Renjun said skeptically, snatching the bills from Yangyang’s hand and shoving them into the register, not giving him any change although he owed him some. The brunette reached a hand equipped with a scooper into the case of ice cream, a cone in the other. “I thought you just had an STD or something, but turns out you were actually spending time with her. Who knew Chenle was a prophet?”
“Chenle can shove him and his stupid prophecies up his ass.” Yangyang said, snatching the scoop of strawberry ice cream from Renjun’s hand. “It’s not like that.”
“Yeah, sure.” Renjun rolled his eyes. You weren’t entirely sure what you were talking about, and why they thought Chenle was a prophet, but your current focus was choosing the right ice cream flavor to suit your fancy. Yangyang nudged you in the side, and you were brought back to reality, straightening up and pulling your face away from the ice-cold glass container.
“One scoop of mint chocolate.” You said meekly. Typically, you had no problem fucking with Yangyang’s friends, but something about Renjun’s ice cold glare and pursed lips made you shy away. The exasperated boy scooped out your order and handed it to you with a stony expression, and you took it out of his hands, careful not to make eye contact with him even though his gaze didn’t move from you, even when Yangyang pulled you through the door and into the cold air outside.
“Sorry about him.” Yangyang said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he tugged you down the street. “He can be a bit suspicious of others.”
“Well, you’ve probably complained about me quite a bit. I could see why he wouldn’t like me.” You laughed, and Yangyang raised his brows like you had just proposed a challenge.
“Oh yeah? You think you don’t do the same? I got glared at for weeks after I started sitting with you at lunch. Not to mention the bowl of soup Karina threw at me.”
“Touche.” You said, smiling from the mere memory of your best friend dousing the dusty blond in hot vegetable soup. He had peas in his hair for the rest of the day, and you didn’t know if you had ever felt more satisfied. “You deserved it, though.”
“I definitely didn’t.”
Ice cream dripping onto your sticky fingers and the air reddening your cheeks, you strolled through the city aimlessly, with no real destination and no goal along the way. Well, maybe you had no goal, but Yangyang had one in mind: get to know the girl he’s known for years but despised for just as long.
“So,” He began, licking the remnants of the ice cream from the bottom of his cone. “Have you ever considered tutoring officially? There’s a lot of desperate students who need help, you could make a lot of money that way.”
“I couldn’t keep up.” You shrugged. “I get good grades because I want to, but I don’t really enjoy school work. I don’t think anyone does. Especially chemistry.” You stuck out your tongue at the thought of your piles of Chem assignments just waiting at home to be completed before the school week started again.
“So what do you like?” You had to think for a moment to answer his question; what did you like, really? You had never really been asked the question before.
“I like modern art, I like to read but only period pieces. I like acting in plays sometimes, but only with other people. Sometimes I try to paint when I have free time.” You looked up at him, watching his attentive face with narrowed eyes. “Where is this coming from?”
“I can’t wonder?”
“You never have.” Your words were true, he had never really cared before. There was no reason why he should —and Yangyang himself didn’t quite know why he did— but he wanted to know. He wanted to make up for all those years of bickering and tension, and maybe a part of him wanted to be friends with you at the end of it.
“I’m sorry. For never caring.” He apologized, your eyes widening with every word. “I should’ve tried to treat you better, even when I was younger.”
“I’m sorry too.” You sighed. “We were just kids when we started fighting, and I should’ve realized that it was childish to hold a grudge. You might have started it, but I’ve continued it for years now.” You chuckled, and he joined you. “I’ve known you longer than most of my friends, actually all of them, but we never learned about each other. Isn’t that kind of fucked up?”
“Very fucked up.” He agreed. A moment of silence washed over you like a wave, but it wasn’t tense or painful like you thought it would be. It was sweet, and soft, and gentle like an ocean breeze, and something was different about the way Yangyang looked under the light of the afternoon sun, and you weren’t sure what.
“Well, better late than never, right?” He smiled, lips turning up in the corners until his teeth showed, and you grinned at the mere sight. Your hands were inches away, and you swore if they touched your heart might burst out of your chest.
“Yeah, better late than never.”
⋰˚☆
There were two reasons you were scared to enter school that day.
You might have to see Xiaojun
You might have to see Yangyang
Seeing the most wonderful boy who broke your heart a mere weekend after he rejected you would be humiliating, and you weren’t looking forward to inevitably running into him in the multiple classes you had together. Second of all, you weren’t sure how you were feeling about Yangyang. Something in your relationship had changed: you weren’t sure when, and you weren’t sure how, but your heart beat faster when he was around, and you no longer had distaste when you saw him. In fact, seeing him made you, although you would never admit it, happy. But it didn’t matter. You had to figure out how you felt about Xiaojun before you could worry about whatever you were feeling for your neighbor.
Which is why you were going to muster up your courage and find Xiaojun before he could find you.
He wasn’t anywhere, which was odd. Typically, you would see him on the way to class, or scrawling down some messy notes in fourth period, or eating lunch under the shade of the willow tree with his feet resting on Ten’s backpack despite the older boy’s protests. On a normal day, you couldn’t avoid Xiaojun, but today didn’t feel like a regular day. No, it felt odd, and maybe that was because Yangyang was following you around everywhere you went.
“Is there a reason you’re practically glued to me right now?” You sighed, and Yangyang dismissed your comment with a shrug of his shoulders.
“I’m wondering what you’re looking for.” You ignored him, hoping he wouldn’t catch on to your search as you peeked around the corner to check for a cerulean head. Yangyang leaned in close, hands on his pockets and resting on the tips of his toes until his nose was mere inches from the back of your head. “So, what are you looking for?” “Your mom.” He frowned.
“C’mon, let’s get lunch! I’m tired of walking around the hallways.” He yawned, a loud yawn that reverberated against the tile and bounced off the walls. “Hey, you want to get hotpot? That Xiao Zhan makes some mean meatballs.” Your eyes lit up as an idea passed through your head, and a sudden urge made you pat Yangyang on the head lightly, mussing up his messy locks of dusty blond while he watched you with surprise.
“That’s a brilliant idea.” And with that, you jetted off, attempting to remember the way to the hotpot restaurant while Yangyang hesitated to follow.
Did his heart always beat that fast when you touched him?
You burst into the shop like a hurricane, a very meek Yangyang following you with his hand clamped protectively against the left side of his chest. Xiao Zhan, who was previously peacefully working at the counter, looked up upon your entrance with recognition in his eyes, standing up to assist you in finding a table.
“Ah, Xiaojun’s girlfriend.” He said, nodding his head to a table in the back with two menus in his hand. “You’re back. I was wondering when you’d show up.”
“I’m not his girlfriend.” Your cheeks felt like summer, even in the cold, and you slid into the booth with Yangyang by your side.
“You wouldn’t think that if you lived with him.” Xiao Zhan said skeptically, pulling out a notepad to write down your order and assessing the boy beside you. You weren’t sure what to make out of his comment, but it had to be a good sign, right? “Is your new fling?”
“This is Yangyang. My neighbor.” You stressed the last word, but Xiao Zhan looked nothing but skeptical.
“Oh, that’s right. You’re the little brat that was yelling at Junnie the last time you came in.” Yangyang scowled, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. It was safe to say he likely didn’t enjoy the nickname. “Whatever, I could care less. Just try not to break my cousin’s heart.” You could feel anger bubbling up in your chest, but before it could rise to your throat, a voice interrupted.
“You should tell him not to break hers.” Yangyang said defensively, and you looked at him with shock and pride. Xiao Zhan looked at both of you questioningly before blowing off your comment and walking to the back, not bothering to take your order. It didn’t matter. He already knew what you wanted, maybe more than just food.
“Thanks for that.” You said quietly, and Yangyang shrugged.
“It’s no big deal. But god, it just pisses me off to see him talk to you like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like Xiaojun wasn’t the one to hurt you.” His eyes pierced into you like a sharp knife, and you found yourself unable to look away, wrapped up in his intense gaze. You didn’t even have the strength to contradict, to tell him that Xiaojun didn’t mean to hurt you, something in his eyes telling you to be quiet. To stop apologizing.
“Yeah.” You said, snapping out of your reverie and giggling quietly. Upon your change of tone, Yangyang smiled, his arm slowly creeping around the back of your chair, your thighs centimeters from each other, threatening to touch with every screech of the chair and every minor shift you made.
“Your meatballs.” Xiao Zhan said tiredly, eyes lingering on Yangyang’s arm inches from being around you before sliding the plate of food onto the table and striding away without another word of greeting or parting, and you reached for your chopsticks, snipping the steaming meat with the utensils.
“I have to go to the bathroom.” Yangyang said suddenly, standing up and sending his chair scooting backward. “Be right back.” You nodded, surprised by his sudden declaration, taking a few bites once he was out of sight and unable to complain about you not waiting for him. You could sense a pair of eyes on you, a certain brown pair that belonged to Xiaojun’s cousin lingering at the edge of the kitchen, elbows on the counter and gaze unwavering. Once the lock of the bathroom door clicked with finality, he approached your table, sliding into the seat across from you. You tried to eat in silence, suppressing your curiosity, but you found yourself unable to appear unbothered.
“Where’s Xiaojun?” You asked, not looking up from your appetizer.
“Home.” Xiao Zhan said simply, and you glared at him, clearly seeking more. “What do you want to hear? He has a cold.”
“A cold.” You said skeptically, and he shrugged. “Is that what he told you?”
“Hey, if he doesn’t want to go to school, that’s none of my business.”
“It kinda is. You are his guardian, after all.”
“Look, Xiaojun’s having a hard time right now. Being sick in the head is just as concerning as being physically sick. Who am I to force him to go to school when he’s not ready, just because you want to see him?”
“I don’t want to see him.” You said stubbornly, and he raised an eyebrow. “W-well, I don’t mean it like that…”
“He’s homesick, and sick with a few other things.” Xiao Zhan sighed, picking up the half full platter of meatballs and standing from his seat. “Wait for him.” His last words seemed to hold more meaning than they appeared to, and you gulped upon his sudden order, poking the inside of your cheek with your tongue. He didn’t wait for a response, just disappearing into the kitchen, precisely in time to avoid Yangyang as the latter left the bathroom.
You didn’t know what to think. Wasn’t high school supposed to be full of teenage romance and comradery? So far, it had only caused you strife.
The blond boy stood stock still in front of the table, damp hands at his sides slightly outstretched as he stared at the blank surface.
“Where’s the meatballs?” 
⋰˚☆
“It’s fifty two.”
“It’s fifteen.”
“Yangyang, it’s fifty two.” You sighed, and the boy pouted stubbornly.
“It’s definitely fifteen. I double checked my math.”
“Double checking is useless if you're stupid.” You snapped, pulling the paper from his hands and going over his work. “You forgot to use the inverse function. How’d you forget to use the inverse function?” Yangyang grabbed the homework back from you and slammed his head down on the desk, letting out a low groan against the laminated wood, his cheeks flattened and deflated.
“This is absolute hell.”
“Hey, you’re the one who wanted me to tutor you.” You snickered, easing the paper out of his hands and looking over it. “Hey, go get snacks from the vending machine. I don’t think we’re gonna get through this session without some fortification.” Yangyang sighed, lifting his head and digging through his pockets for his wallet.
“First ice cream, then this? You’re gonna run me dry.” “Hey, I’m tutoring you for no charge. Be grateful.” His eyes lit up, and he grabbed your hands immediately, holding them close as he stared at you with wide eyes.
“You mean it?”
“Yes, for free. Now go get snacks.”
“Yes ma’am!” He exclaimed, running down the hall to find the vending machine among the empty halls, night beginning to fall over the campus as students dissipated from the school. Once he was gone you shook your head with a fond smile, turning back to his assignment and attempting to figure out what he had done horribly wrong in his equation, waiting for the snacks that Yangyang was retrieving.
A minute went by. You figured it would take him a while to find the nearest machine, it was surely no problem. Three went by. You knew that it would take some considerable thought to choose which snacks to buy. Five minutes passed, then ten, then fifteen, and now you were starting to get concerned. It couldn’t possibly take that long, not when you knew for a fact that the nearest vending machine was one right turn away and Yangyang always bought chocolate chips and cheetos. You stood up from your seat, chair screeching back as you got to your feet, wrapping your jacket a bit tighter around your waist as you left the room.
“Fucking stupid thing-” You heard from down the hall, and you rolled your eyes. “Stupid ass vending machine-” A bang cut off the end of Yangyang’s angry sentence as he kicked the machine, then prompt gripped his foot in pain, folding in half and holding it to his chest in a position that looked both challenging and painful.
“Is there a problem?” You said in amusement from a few meters away, and he dropped his foot, eyes widening as he straightened up immediately.
“N-not a problem.” He stammered. “The stupid fucking machine just took my money.” You got closer, arms still wrapped around your waist, reaching down to the slot for the snacks and looking through the glass to see inside. A bag of cheetos, tteokbokki chips, chocolate turtle chips, and a can of coke were all crammed up, perched precariously against each other but somehow lodged firmly in the top of the opening.
“Did you try ordering something else?” You laughed, and he froze. You dropped a quarter into the opening, pressing down on the lit up buttons and ordering a bottle of water. It dropped, knocking all the snacks apart and the full order came crashing through the opening, dropping neatly into the slot, ready to consume. You leaned down at the same time Yangyang did, both of your hands reaching for the snacks inside.
Your nose was mere inches from his, and you could feel his breath on your face, the proximity between the two of you so small it made your heart feel like it would explode out of your chest. You thought he would back up, put some distance between the two of you and maybe give you his signature sneer, just to confirm that he didn’t give a shit about you, that he didn’t want to be close enough to touch you. But he didn’t.
Instead, he leaned in.
Your lips crashed, and soon the snacks were forgotten. You closed your eyes, his already clamped shut as he circled an arm around your waist, the both of you straightening up to a standing position. You snaked your arms around his neck, one of your hands playing with his shaggy hair as he smiled into the kiss, holding you like you would shatter if he released you. It was rushed, full of released tension and unspoken feelings, things you wanted to say but never could. He parted your lips for only a brief moment to whisper quietly,
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Then he dove back in, and that’s when you realized you might’ve liked him longer than you thought.
Neither of you gave a shit about Trigonometry anymore, or the abandoned snacks, only focusing on the way your lips fit like two puzzle pieces slamming into each other on the wrong side, until they finally turned a few degrees and fit. You and Yangyang fit, you finally fit, and you couldn’t be happier.
Your back hit the vending machine as Yangyang pressed a hand against the cold glass, forcing all the space between you out as he tangled his free fingers in your hair, lips tracing against your own before moving to kiss your jaw. You thought your heart might’ve stopped when he ran his lips down your jawline, peppering sloppy kisses across your skin. In all your years, you thought you had kissing experience, but now you were beginning to think you had never really been kissed at all.
“Yangyang,” You said out, a choked giggle escaping from between your swollen lips, and he released his other hand from the glass to caress your jaw lightly, touch soft and gentle with a smile equally fond on his face. “I cannot believe you just did that.”
“We, y/n. We’re in this together, right?” He asked softly, pressing his forehead to yours, and you pecked him on the lips. He looked more beautiful than you had ever seen him before, the washed out white light of the hallway illuminating his skin, eyes wide and glossy, his lips plump and swollen from all the contact. His hair was swept away from his forehead and jutting up sporadically, and you couldn’t help but smile.
“Yeah. Of course we are.” You said before giggling uncontrollably, and he separated from you, giving you a questioning look. “I’m sorry. I’m just so surprised.”
“About what?” He said, a hand still hesitating on your waist like he didn’t want to truly let go of you, fingers fisting the fabric of your shirt tightly.
“Well, out of everyone,” You pressed a hand to his cheek, running down his jawline with a smile, and you swore you saw hearts in his eyes. “It ended up being you.”
“And that’s a good thing, right?” He asked, worry evident in his eyes, and you wanted nothing more than to confirm to him how much you liked him. You never thought you would like him this much.
“A happy ending for an ironic story.” You confirmed, and he beamed, kissing up and down your cheeks with excitement, in a way that made you uncontrollably grin.
“I never thought my first kiss with you would be against a vending machine.”
“Oh, so you imagined kissing me before?” His cheeks flamed as you simpered.
“Shut up.”
Yangyang took you home that night, or more precisely, drove you home, although not in a car. Nine years of knowing the boy, and you had no clue he could ride a motorcycle. When he reached your doorstep, you parted with a sweet kiss on the lips and a soft goodnight whispered under bated breath, and you found you didn’t mind getting along with Yangyang for the time being. 
Of course, Kun had his suspicions when he heard the roar of a motorcycle from outside his window at 9 pm, and that you coincidentally decided to suddenly arrive home at the same time Yangyang parked his Yamaha Vmax. But he let it go, assuming it would be best to wait ‘til the morning to interrogate you about your relationship.
Life was sweet. Maybe the bickering had stopped you from seeing that.
⋰˚☆
“Y/n.” Karina said, lounging on the couch with a glass of Sprite in her hand, head dangling off the edge of the cushions. “Why is Yangyang your lock screen?” You froze mid motion, about to pour yourself a bowl of jiujiang from your brother’s liquor cabinet. You continued, figuring you’d need the bit of alcohol to get yourself through this conversation. You usually had Yangyang as your lock screen when you were alone and with him, a photo you had taken when he was swinging at the park down the street, a bright smile on his face and his feet kicking in the air as he waved at the camera.
“I like that photo.” You said simply, hoping the lame explanation was enough.
“When’d you take this?” Karina asked suspiciously, sitting up and staring a bit closer at your phone until you reached over her shoulder and snatched it from her.
“None of your business.” You snapped, shoving the device into your pocket before she could inquire further, and realization flooded her eyes, mouth gaping open in shock.
“Y/n!” She screeched. “You’re not dating Liu Yangyang!” You clapped a hand over her mouth, pulling her head down and looking around in paranoia.
“He might hear you.” You hissed. “He’s right next door.”
“Y/n, please tell me you’re not dating Yangyang.” She said, voice muffled, and you looked away, releasing her mouth and taking a spoonful of rice porridge.
“Don’t tell anyone.” You ordered. “I’m not actually dating him. He never asked me to be his girlfriend.”
“But you go on dates?” You nodded. “You hold hands?” You nodded. “You kiss each other?” You hesitated this time, but eventually nodded, and Karina exhaled through her nose. “Then you’re dating. God, I knew this would happen.”
“We’re not dating.” You said stubbornly, putting the bowl to your mouth and abandoning the spoon, just slurping the rice porridge off the edge of the cup.
“Y/n, I’ve known you for years. I can tell when you like somebody, and you like Yangyang. Probably more than you know.” You scoffed skeptically at her statement, but she shrugged and leaned back. “Best friends see things you don’t, you know. I can tell.” She insisted, and you took another sip of the porridge indignantly. But her words got you thinking, maybe Karina was right. Yangyang hadn’t left your mind since that night two days previous when he kissed you, and the butterflies that filled your stomach when he entered your mind were anything but platonic,
Maybe you liked Yangyang a little more than you thought you did.
March was almost over, the last week of the winter ending and the new season approaching, something even more worrisome coming with it: prom. Weeks passed, the 31st creeping closer with every day, and yet, Yangyang never asked you to be his girlfriend. You never asked him what you were to him, what was happening between the two of you. You had seen that line, the “what are we?” spiel in an endless amount of movies, shows, and shitty romance novels, and you swore you wouldn’t open your heart to the boy before he opened his to you. 
 Maybe there was a part of you that was afraid he would abandon you after that night at the vending machine, that he would write it off as a mistake —or maybe, in a horrible twist of events, check something off his bucket list— but fortunately enough, the kiss seemed to be on his mind just as much as it was on yours, if not more. He never kissed you in front of your friends, he was waiting for approval on that front, which you weren’t sure if you were ready to give. The sight of you and him merely getting along was enough to make Ten heave up his lunch, so public displays of affection were almost entirely off boundaries. But the occasional moment when nobody was looking during a Chem lecture, when he had a chance to pull you into the corner of the cafeteria before the lunch rush, or when Ms. Choi forgot to lock the classroom door, he’d plant the biggest kiss on you and hold you like you were his world. It was nice. Maybe too nice, because you sure as hell weren’t used to it yet.
Going from tossing food during conversation and dumping chili paste in each other’s morning tea to kissing and holding hands between tutoring sessions was beginning to give you whiplash. He also hadn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet. If you were being honest, you weren’t sure if you were happy about that or not.
It didn’t matter to you. It was only week 1 of kissing Liu Yangyang on the regular; you were sure you’d get used to it at some point, and who knows, maybe one day the two of you would be one of those couples that caused envy wherever they went, the type that did facemasks and went to movies just to ignore the screen and stare at each other until their eyes went dull. You had time, time to learn to love Liu Yangyang and time to wait patiently until he told you he wanted to be with you.
You thought you had time. Until Xiaojun came back to school.
“Can we talk?” There it was, the infamous line. Xiaojun had popped out of absolutely nowhere, backpack half across his shoulders, hair mussed and free from its usual neat style. His bangs were drooping slightly in  his face, the blue washed out to a lighter teal with a tinge of chlorine green, and he had dark circles under his eyes that looked like they carried the weight of all his thoughts. He looked like a mess, a beautiful mess, and you were absolutely not ready to talk to him.
The rest of your friends had their mouths agape at the sudden reappearance of what was now widely known as your “highschool sweetheart”. Ten had a look on his face like you had just slapped him across the cheek, and Karina seemed seconds away from murder, eyes dark and arms crossed, likely to hold back whatever violent move she was thinking of pulling. 
Yangyang looked upset. Very upset, flecks of white sparkling across his worried eyes, and you could feel his fingers begin to intertwine with yours where the others couldn’t see it, hidden under the fabric of his hoodie sleeve.
“I don’t really want to talk.” You laughed nervously, and Yangyang’s hand squeezed yours tightly for a brief moment. It was true, you didn’t want to talk. Not because you were angry, no, you weren’t so immature as to get mad at being rejected. You were scared. Scared of what he might say and what it might make you think.
“Please, y/n.” His voice dropped an octave and quieted just as much, low enough for only you and the person next to you to hear. “I need to tell you something.” Yangyang was a second away from interrupting. He didn’t want you to go, he didn’t want you to admit that he had someone in his life who would take his place, who could convince you that he wasn’t good enough and never would be. Yangyang had spent enough of his life being hated by you, and he couldn’t stand another year, another day, another second.
“Fine.” You said, and Yangyang’s breath hitched in his throat. Don’t go, he wanted to scream, but you gave his hand an affirming squeeze before standing, brushing off your shirt and following the blue haired boy who had already begun to walk, seeing where he would take you. Hendery cupped his mouth to cheer, but Sicheng tugged his arm down before he could utter a word. Yangyang bit his lip, cold and empty hand coming to his side and slipping into his pocket.
All he could do was wait.
Xiaojun walked for a few minutes in no particular direction, seeking anywhere secluded and private enough to have a proper conversation. You followed silently, afraid that if you spoke you might ruin whatever peacefulness was left between the two of you. Maybe, just maybe, you could be friends again. You just had to hear him out.
Xiaojun wrapped a delicate hand around the doorknob of any empty classroom, turning the knob and walking inside, waiting for you to enter before he shut the door behind you. He locked it, which was concerning, but you tried not to think much about it, watching from beside the door as he leaned against an empty desk. Silence passed between the two of you like waves washing over a worn out shore, before he cleared his throat and mustered up the strength to speak.
“I’m sorry.” He started, and you looked away. “I’m sorry for not considering how you were feeling, and I’m sorry for being so painfully oblivious. I’m sorry for embarrassing you, and I’m sorry for making you tutor me for free when you probably had better things to do. I’m sorry for making you spend time with me.”
“There’s really no need to apologize.” You said timidly. “I don’t care that you rejected me. I’d rather that you’re honest with me. It’ll hurt less in the end.” Xiaojun shook his head, and you thought you could see tears welling up in the corner of his eyes, although maybe that was just your imagination.
“I wasn’t honest with you.” He admitted hesitantly. “I didn’t take the time to think about it, because I was so confused. I was confused why you, such a wonderful, friendly, intelligent person, would give a shit about me.” You wanted to interrupt, but you could tell from the serious look in his eyes that he needed to finish saying his thoughts aloud. “When I came to Korea, I didn’t know anyone other than my cousin. I thought people wouldn’t like me, that I would stand out, or that maybe my dreams were stupid and I would never be good enough to make it here if I couldn’t make it in back in China.” He finally looked up from the floor, and you could feel his eyes on you even if you didn’t see it. “But you told me I could do it. You wanted to know about me, you tutored me when I was struggling because you understood me.” You moved from your place by the door to sit on a desk across from him, and he made eye contact, serious and full of drowned emotion. “You were the first person I met here that treated me so kindly. And I took advantage of that.”
“No, you didn’t.” You tried to defend him, but he shook his head yet again.
“I did. And those days I spent at home, trying to get you out of my head, made me realize something.” He put a hand on your arm softly, his eyes watering with shimmering tears in his ducts. “I really can’t live without you.” You stuttered, unsure of what response to give him, what to say to assure him that you felt the same way. Your heart was betraying your mind, and instead of telling him it would be okay and you could still be friends, you set your hand on top of his, eyes shining. That one movement triggered something, and Xiaojun leaned forward, putting one hand on your cheek and the other reaching for the table beside you.
You kissed before you could properly think about it. You didn’t want to, but you wanted nothing more, and as horrible as you felt, a weight had been lifted from your shoulders the moment his lips touched yours. He sighed into the kiss, pulling you closer, limbs entangling on top of the desk as he pulled you to his side. Maybe a minute passed, maybe two, but you finally summoned the will to pull away, panting and your lips swollen from his on top of your own.
“Is something wrong?” He asked with concern, putting his hand on top of yours, and you shook your head, unsure of what to say or do.
“Nothing wrong.” You stammered. “I-I just…” What were you supposed to say? Wasn’t this exactly what you were looking for those weeks ago, when you told him you liked him in the middle of the library for everyone to hear?
Xiaojun depended on you. You were his safety net, his escape hatch for when he needed a taste of home and someone to tell him everything would be okay. You were his home in a place far away from home.
“I’m glad you told me.” You said finally, and he grinned, a grin that knocked you off your feet. After so long, he was just as beautiful as he was when you first met him, and you found your heart speeding up the same way it did when you told him you liked him. You had hoped that maybe something would change, that after a week of not thinking about him, you would stop liking him, that these confusing feelings would go away and you could live your life as friends and nothing more. But when he smiled at you like you were his whole world, you came to a painful realization. 
You couldn’t just be friends with someone who smiled at you like that.
⋰˚☆
You tried your best to keep everything that had happened in the classroom a secret. You straightened out your hair and clothes in a hurry, attempting to look presentable, and applied lip plumper so you’d have an excuse to tell Ten when he would inevitably ask you why your lips looked so swollen. When Xiaojun tried to hold your hand on the way back, you politely told him you weren’t ready yet, and he gave you a confused look, yet respected your wishes and let go.
Turns out your efforts were all for naught, as Yangyang was nowhere to be seen when you exited. Karina, Hendery and Ten were the only ones left, laying on their stomachs as Karina painted Ten’s nails a fresh new shade of green, Hendery left to his own devices and one second from spilling purple nail polish all over his hands.
“Where’s Yangyang?” You asked immediately upon arriving to the spot under the willow tree, and the three looked up with surprise at your abrupt comment.
“He and Sicheng went to get snacks from Jaehyun’s table. You know Yuta will give Sicheng anything for a hug.” Ten said. You sighed in relief, dropping onto the picnic blanket spread across the grass. “What about you two?” He wiggled his eyebrows, and you glared at him fiercely. “Did you make out- make up?” You slapped his arm as punishment for his very obvious comment. “Freudian slip.” He shrugged, and Karina gave you a suspicious look. Xiaojun reached for your arm instinctively, but you nudged him with your foot, his hand slowly coming to rest on the blanket instead.
“Yeah. We made up.” Xiaojun said, clearing his throat, and the other three looked at you with some kind of disappointment, going back to painting their nails.
“Boring.” Ten yawned, and you rolled your eyes.
“Ignore him.” You said quietly to Xiaojun, and he nodded, hand sneaking to yours under the blanket in a place where nobody could see, and you felt nausea rush through your stomach at the deja vu.
You didn’t see Yangyang for the rest of the school day. Even when Sicheng returned to the group with an armful of snacks brought straight from Canada by Mark’s father, and the group ravenously destroyed them, he didn’t show up, not even when Sicheng brought out the cheetos. You thought for certain he had some kind of cheeto radar, and if the cheesy snacks couldn’t bring him back to the picnic, you figured something must have happened to keep him away. He didn’t offer to walk you home like usual, and you took the route back to your house alone, cardigan tightly wrapped around you to keep out the chilly wind, nose running from the sudden rush of cold. You were suddenly wishing you had brought a thicker jacket to school that day, as home was still almost a mile away and the sky was turning more and more gray by the minute.
Even a day later, he was still missing. Another day passed, and Yangyang still wasn’t in class. He wasn’t in class all day, and you beginning to wonder if he had somehow found out about your conversation with Xiaojun by some cruel twist of fate, and was skipping school to avoid you. But he didn’t come the next day, the next, the next, or the one after that, and you were no longer concerned about him avoiding you, you were wondering if he was still alive. Yangyang might not be the best student, but he never skipped class; his parents would kill him if he did. So for him to be missing from attendance for four days straight, it wasn’t a common occurrence.
Xiaojun still hadn’t taken a step back from the first time he kissed you, seemingly just taking more steps closer to you instead. What had started as innocent quality time and tutoring —which you had finally reinstated— ended up turning into make out sessions in the janitor’s closet and dates to wherever you could manage. One day, he took you to the ice cream parlor without you knowing, and you swore Renjun had murder in his eyes when he handed you a cone of mint choco. Since then, you tried to avoid the places Yangyang had taken you before.
You had to tell Yangyang now. As soon as you got back from class and your regular tutoring sessions, which took longer than expected, you were going to march straight over to his house to break up with him before your relationship even started, even as much as you didn’t want to. And so here you were, standing at his doorstep with your knuckles hovering over the hardwood, ready to tell the boy that you couldn’t be with him anymore, if you weren’t even together in the first place.
To your surprise, the one behind the door wasn’t Yangyang, but his female counterpart, standing in a fuzzy pajama set with a bottle of coke in one hand and her phone in the other. You figured that fluffy sleepwear must be a fondness that runs in the family.
“Oh, y/n!” Yangyang’s sister exclaimed, opening the door a bit wider after seeing your familiar face. “I would invite you in, but our house is a bit of a war zone right now.”
“Why is that?” You asked curiously, and the mere question seemed to tire her out as she rolled her eyes and jabbed her thumb at the background of the house.
“He’s got cholera, God knows how.” She said exasperatedly, folding her arms. “Me and Stefan are staying out of his bedroom for now, while he quarantines.” You assumed Stefan must be her new German boyfriend, and nodded, stomach sinking with every word she uttered. “Apparently cholera requires a week of quarantine, which seems excessive for a bad case of dehydration.” She rolled her eyes, and you felt your breath hitch. A week? That explained why he was missing for so long, but prom was in four days, and you barely had time to tell him before it came around, if he came back to school in time for the occasion. “He’s feeling a bit better, but he still can’t leave. I had to screw his windows shut after he tried to sneak out.” She shook her head, but seemed to realize she was babbling, clearing her throat in embarrassment and covering her mouth with her fist. “Um, is there a message you wanted me to give him?”
No way. You absolutely could not break up with Liu Yangyang through his sister.
“Nothing.” You lied. “Um, just let him know I hope he feels better soon. Can he still text or call?” She shook her head.
“No, and it’s driving him insane. He left his phone at school and none of us are allowed to get it.” You nodded. You supposed you would rather not talk to him over the phone regardless. Karina had been broken up with over text in 10th grade, and she tossed a porcelain vase out the window when she found out. You’d rather not have that happen, or worse, considering your house was within easy reach.
“Alright. Tell him I hope he gets healthy soon.” You said despondently.
“I’m sure that’ll make him feel better.” She said with a knowing look and a wink, disappearing back behind the door.
You supposed all you could do was wait.
⋰˚☆
“I’m breaking up with Yangyang.” Karina's eyes widened from the other side of the phone, and she slapped a hand over her mouth.
“Are you sure?”
“Xiaojun and I,” You hesitated to finish your sentence. “When we made up, he kissed me.” Karina let out a squeal, and you clicked your tongue at her disapprovingly. “Rin, that’s not a good thing!”
“I think it is!” She defended. “You’ve liked Xiaojun since you first met him, I can tell. Forget Yangyang, that boy is golden. Sweet, caring, affectionate, and now he’s relatively smart now that you’ve tutored him. Not to mention he’s insanely hot.” You pinched the space between your eyebrows pensively. “Are you still meeting up?”
“Yes.” You said reluctantly. “I’m basically cheating on Yangyang.”
“Well, a bit. But you’re planning to break up with him, right? I mean, he hasn’t even asked you to be his girlfriend.”
“I just have to wait until he gets over his fucking cholera, then I’ll tell him.” You rubbed your temples. “This is stressing me out, Rin. I don’t know what to do.”
“Do you think Xiaojun will ask you to be his girlfriend?”
“I don’t know.”
“Prom?
“I don’t know.” You repeated through gritted teeth. “It’s four days away, and I have no idea what the fuck to do. What if Yangyang asks me to prom?”
“Tell him to fuck off.”
“That’s mean, Karina.”
“Isn’t it meaner to ignore him?” She had a point. Wasn’t it a bit more cruel to let him wonder, than to tell him you didn’t want to be with him? Was it true that you didn’t want to be with him? Everything was confusing, but you knew one thing: you didn’t want to hurt him. While it was inevitable, the least you could do was make it brief.
“I’m going to tell him as soon as I can see him again. Once his quarantine is over, I’ll do it. I’m going to end things with Yangyang.”
It had been seven days since Yangyang had abruptly gone into quarantine, and you had been rehearsing how to break the news to him.
You found that you no longer wanted to go out anymore. Every time Ten wanted to go to the ice cream parlor, you found yourself unable to face the server, when Sicheng suggested you take a trip to the mall, you couldn’t help but think of when Yangyang had taken you shopping to get a dress for your date on the weekend. And more often than not, you caught yourself thinking about him when you were home alone, sitting on the couch with nothing to do but stew in your thoughts, as you were now.
Your reverie was interrupted by a sudden ring of the doorbell, the reverberating chime startling you out of your thoughts and bringing you back to reality. Kun wasn’t here to open the door, so you mustered up the energy to stand up and do it yourself, desperately hoping it wasn’t Hendery asking to go on a double date for the fiftieth time. The door creaked open, revealing not Hendery, but the last person you wanted to see while in deep contemplation.
“Oh, Xiaojun.” You said in surprise, nervously smiling when you saw the giddy boy, who seemed to be holding something rather large behind his back.
“Hey.” Xiaojun said breathlessly, and he was panting like he had ran across town, a bead of sweat decorating the baby hairs on his forehead and matting them down to his skin. Your eyes drifted down to the large, white object concealed behind his back, which seemed to stretch almost as tall as him and was so wide it peeked a few inches out from behind his figure on both sides. He looked around your house, checking the background for something you weren’t sure of. “Is your brother home?”
“He’s out with some friends.” You said vaguely, the side of the door still clutched in your hand tightly like you were holding onto a life raft. You were afraid to let him, afraid of what might happen and the guilt you would feel when it was over. Luckily, he made no advances, just puffing out his chest and setting his jaw.
“Well, then I guess there’s no time like the present.” Xiaojun said, taking a deep breath to steady himself before pulling the object from behind his back, which you now realized was a sign, and you studied the text on it with wide eyes containing both utter horror and pure joy. “Y/n Qian, will you be my date to prom?” He asked with scrunched up eyes, a wide smile on his face as he presented his sign to you with one hand and a rose in the other, the sign handwritten and sloppy, with paper hearts pasted all across the border. ‘Y/n, will you accept this rose and go to prom with me?’, it said, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the bad Bachelorette reference, a hand over your mouth. It was ugly, it was the last thing you wanted, and it was the happiest you had ever been.
“Xiaojun,” You said in disbelief, taking the rose from his hand and holding it tightly to your chest, the damp, red petals leaving wet prints on your shirt. “Wow…”
“Is that a good wow, or a bad wow?” He asked hesitantly, and let out a breath of relief when you laughed loudly, a big smile on your face.
“A good wow.” You affirmed. He watched you expectantly, waiting for your answer, and you knew you couldn’t stall forever. You wanted to say yes, you really did, but some kind of guilt settled itself in the bottom of your stomach, pooling there comfortably, not seeming like it would leave any time soon. After everything that had happened between you and both boys, you weren’t sure where your heart belonged. But all you knew was Xiaojun was more than a friend, and the thought of him being any less was nothing but devastating. “O-of course I’ll go to prom with you.” At your words, his eyes widened in surprise, and it made you wonder if he thought you would say no. He dropped the sign, leaping forward to wrap his arms around you and plant a massive kiss on your cheek, making you giggle and pull him inside, hoping that nobody had seen.
“Would you be my girlfriend then?” He asked hesitantly, fearing a rejection, but you nodded softly, making him drop his head in relief. “God, that makes me so happy.” He said contentedly, face resting in the crook of your neck, his nose grazing against your skin as he spoke into your shoulder. You shut the door behind the two of you, making sure to bring the sign inside, and chuckled at his tight embrace, not daring to move him. You pressed a soft kiss to his temple, the most easily accessible body part, and smiled.
“I’m so happy that you asked me.” You confessed, and you could feel him grin against your skin. “One problem.” He stood straight immediately, head coming up from your shoulder with a concerned frown on his face.
“What?”
“I don’t have a dress.” He relaxed visibly upon your joking statement, a hand tracing your cheek as he pressed a kiss to your lips.
“We’ll fix that, baby. Don’t you worry.”
⋰˚☆
That morning, you slept straight through your alarm. The minute that Xiaojun parted from your house with a sweet kiss and a wave goodbye, you had called Karina to gush over the sudden proposal, and upon hearing the news, your best friend had screamed and insisted she come over for a celebratory sleepover. You woke up with a missing best friend —who had gone home to get a fresh pair of clothes and pick up Hendery in the morning— and a mere ten minutes before class started, with barely enough time to get ready, much less walk to school. You forced your exhausted and very hungover brother to drive you to school, making it there just in time to catch your friends at the gate, with only a few minutes before the morning bell would ring.
“Hey!” Hendery yelled when he saw you, the group lingering outside the front gate on one of the stone ledges in front of the entrance. “Where’ve you been?”
“Overslept.” You panted, having ran the last two blocks after you felt unsafe with Kun at the wheel, which wasn’t a very normal occurrence considering he was quite the driver. Karina and Xiaojun gave you a knowing look, the latter grabbing your hand and pecking a kiss onto your cheek. Ten watched the action with an expression like someone had just slapped him on the face, Sicheng looked rather unbothered, and Hendery immediately leaned in to get all the information from his girlfriend, who jabbed him in the side with her elbow.
“Well that’s new.” Sicheng said matter-0f-factly.
“I didn’t tell you?” You tittered, fidgeting with your free hand, the other still clasped in Xiaojun’s. “We’re dating.”
“I fucking knew it!” Ten exclaimed, slinging an arm each around your shoulders. “So, when did this happen?” “We talked last night.” Xiaojun clarified, and you squeezed his hand with a smile. “I think we figured a lot of things out, and I told her how I felt. I also asked her to prom.” He pressed a chaste kiss to your temple that made your heart burst out of your chest.
“Oh, did you?” Hendery asked with a smile, raising his brows. “I’m surprised Liu Yangyang didn’t beat you to it.” In a second, the mood changed, Xiaojun’s expression immediately turning stony as you looked down at your feet. Karina nudged the boy in the side again, a bit harder this time, and he looked around in confusion. “What?” “You dumbass.” Karina mumbled exasperatedly, clapping a hand over his mouth. “You wanna go inside, guys? Class is gonna start soon.” The others nodded, and you silently thanked Karina for saving you a very awkward conversation, grasping Xiaojun’s hand and walking with the group to your next period.
“I have to go.” Xiaojun said, his fingers releasing from yours, hands separating slightly. “My first period is across campus.” It was odd, that when you were seeing him before, the last thing you wanted was to hold hands. But the thought of letting go, letting him leave, made you scared. It was day eight of Yangyang’s absence, the day his quarantine was over and he could return to school as normal, and you were absolutely not prepared to face him. You kept a hold on his hand, still looking at the floor, and he sighed, pressing his hand softly to your cheek. “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll see you later. Maybe we can go shopping for matching prom outfits?” You smiled at the proposal, and he grinned. He caressed your skin soothingly, and you wondered how he was always capable of making you feel better when you needed it. “I’ll see you at lunch, baby.” And with that, he was gone, walking away with a soft smile on his face and a wave, which you returned. You were alone again, absolutely not ready to walk into the first period where Yangyang would undoubtedly be sitting in the middle of class with a bright smile and a kiss ready to be planted on your cheek.
And for the first time in weeks, you’d have to pretend you didn’t want to kiss him.
Maybe you had done something right in your past life, because Yangyang wasn’t in class. You weren’t sure if it was a blessing or curse, but out of sight, out of mind. Maybe it was a blessing that he had gone missing from prom, and you could enjoy the highlight of your senior year without him weighing on your mind, or the fear of running into him among the bustling crowd. You decided to focus on getting outfits for prom instead, a thought that made your heart race and your cheeks warm at the mere suggestion. Just the mental image of you and Xiaojun walking into prom with a matching suit and dress made you drop your head to your desk, trying to hide the fond smile that stretched out your cheeks. And so the day flew by, your head consumed with conversations with a blond and shopping with your boyfriend, whichever came first.
“You seem spaced out, baby.” Xiaojun said, waving his hand in front of your eyes, watching you with concern. You snapped out of your trance, blinking hard.
“Ah, sorry.” You stammered as you tried to process what he had just asked you. He seemed to read your mind, repeating his question again for you to hear.
“What do you think?” He asked, stepping back a few paces and doing a playful twirl. He had picked out a pretty dress, holding it up and showing it off, excited for your response. “Do you like it?” It was almost floor length, a lovely shade of emerald with a golden leaf design wrapping across and layers of tulle stretching from the midsection and reaching to the floor. It was pretty, but something about it wasn’t exactly what you had in mind. You pondered his choice, before shaking your head, and he pouted.
“Something isn’t right.” You mused, and he walked back to the racks of dresses petulantly, shoving the dress back on the hanger and onto the organizer. Your eyes searched the rows upon rows of fluffy fabric for something that caught your eye, anything, until you found it. The dress.
It was sitting at the end of the racks, shoved into the corner and partially hidden behind a poofy black number. You reached for it, taking it off the hanger with a smile. It reached the floor, pleated sheer fabric laying on top of a silky crimson red, a corset-like bodice on top with and off the shoulder neckline decorated with pearls and two thin bows. The color was like deep plum wine, and the sight of it was purely breathtaking. It was exactly what you were looking for.
“This one.” You said immediately, holding it up to your frame with an endeared grin. “I like this dress.” Xiaojun’s eyes raised, looking you up and down before pressing a kiss to your cheek softly.
“If you like it, I like it.” He said with a smile, taking it out of your hands. “I didn’t know you liked red.” He cleared his throat and jabbed his thumb to the other side of the store, containing masculine formal wear. “I’ll go find a matching suit.” He expected you to follow, but you stood stock still, deep in your thoughts, and so he left without you. Xiaojun was right. You didn’t like red, you didn’t like it all, so you hadn’t a clue why you chose the dress with the color you liked least.
How annoying. You just had to pick a dress in Yangyang’s favorite color.
⋰˚☆
Prom was upon you. Your nerves were shot, you could feel your hands trembling and you felt unsteady in your heels, like they didn’t fit your feet quite right and you might tip over if you took a step. You thought this must be the closest feeling to the few moments before your wedding, and you hoped you would have a bit more composure when that moment eventually came.
You thought you looked pretty good, if you did say so yourself. Karina certainly did, dressed up in a satiny light pink dress with a low neckline that was likely to make Hendery’s eyes pop out of his head. If you knew him, and you did, he would drop to his knees. You only hoped your boyfriend had as good of a reaction to yourself.
“You look fine.” Karina insisted, tugging you away from the mirror by the arm. “Better than fine, in fact. You look gorgeous.” She smoothed down a stray strand of your hair and tucked it behind your ear with a smile. “The boys will be here soon. We should get going, hm?” You nodded, intertwining your hand with hers as you made your way down the stairs to see your brother sobbing, a camera in his right hand.
“God, my little sister is all grown up.” He cried, throwing himself onto you, and you pushed him off, brushing off your dress.
“Don’t! You’ll get tear stains on my makeup.” You said, nudging him in the side and eventually pulling him into a hug when you saw the saddened look on his face. “I’m not that old, Kun. Just wait until I get to college.” That made him cry harder. 
You and Karina left your wailing older brother behind when you heard the doorbell ring, the both of you looking at each other in excitement before dashing to the door, both of you tussling over the doorknob. You got a hand on it first, swinging the door open to reveal the two men standing behind it, stunning smiles on both of their faces and neat suits on their bodies. Karina flew to her boyfriend, and he watched her with wide eyes, taking in her appearance in shock.
“Holy shit, you look incredible.” He said with a gaping mouth, and she tapped his chin with her manicured nail, a fond smile on her face.
“You don’t look too bad yourself.” The couple giggled, beginning to chat, but you and Xiaojun had yet to say a word to each other, still staring at the other from a few feet away, your hand clutching the door knob for dear life.
“Xiaojun.” You said breathlessly.
“Y/n.” He answered in response, seeming just as stunned.
He was the prettiest picture you had ever seen. Dressed in a blazer with black lapels and a deep crimson body, he looked like someone had dragged an angel down from heaven, hair styled neatly, a few stray strands of blue hair dropping onto his forehead adorably. You wanted to brush them away, but after a moment of thought, you decided you liked them better like that. “You look… beautiful.” He seemed to be at a loss for words, and your cheeks heated up at the way he shamelessly checked you out. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“You look amazing.” You said in response, leaning forward to peck his cheeks, and you were certain his face darkened a few shades of pink. “Ready to go?”
“Always, m’lady.” He offered his arm, and you took it, curtseying playfully, ready to go to the car and have the best time of your high school life.
“Alright,” Kun said, and you rolled your eyes, preparing yourself for the embarrassing lecture he was likely to give next. “I’m not gonna say don’t drink, because there’s no way in hell I’m going to stop you, so just don’t black out. I don’t even want to think about you having sex, but use protection, and if they start some orgy shit, y/n you  better call me-”
“Kun.” You said through gritted teeth, and he raised his hands in protest.
“I’ve barely started!”
“Can you please just drive?” He sighed, snatching the car keys from the shelf by the door, gesturing for you to exit the front door, and the four of you rushed outside, running in your heels and dress shoes, huge grins on your faces as the spring wind from outside rushed through your hair and clothes. “Get in. I know you like it when I drive fast, so I will. Just for tonight.” He warned, and you slapped him on the back gratefully with a grin. The group jumped into Kun’s Range Rover, and he stomped on the gas, speeding down the street and off into the night sky, the street stretching down like it would drive into the horizon and up to the moon.
A door opened with a creak, black and newly polished shoes clicking across the street with every step as they approached your doorstep. One knock, then a second, then a third, with no answer. A click of the stranger’s tongue sounded across the empty street.
“Where the hell is she?”
⋰˚☆
Prom was everything you expected. Bass boosted music that shook your heart inside your ribs, crowds of dancing students dressed to the nines, and the mix of perfume and alcohol all through the room, the parent chaperones hardly caring about the not-so-subtle alcohol consumption happening amongst the students. You were so excited and terrified you could barely breathe, but the gentle hold of Xiaojun’s hand on yours kept you grounded, and you took a deep breath to steady your racing heart.
“You okay?” Your date asked, leaning in to reach a bit closer to your ear, and you smiled, pecking him on the cheek with an assuring nod.
“Just excited.” He rubbed thumb over the front of your hand. “I can’t believe high school is almost over already. I feel like it went by in a flash.”
“Me too. I really didn’t get enough time to spend at this school. But at least I got to spend my first and last year here with you.” He whispered in your ear, and you couldn’t help but feel a rush of warmth at his complimentative words. 
“I’m glad I got to spend it with you too. It’s just the beginning.” You pecked him on the cheek, and you saw his face warm up, a slight pink tinting his skin. Maybe the idea of spending the rest of your time together, maturing together, didn’t sound so bad. Just then, a flurrying presence and his very tired companion made their way over to you, the former wearing a loud embroidered blazer with nothing underneath and a pair of shorts that reminded you of a British schoolboy. “God, those two.” You tutted, but your smile betrayed you.
“What the fuck is up?!” Ten yelled over the music, and Sicheng shook his head disapprovingly. “You guys look ugly as hell.”
“Thanks, Ten.” Karina deadpanned, straightening out the skirt of her dress. 
“What’s with the hair?” You laughed, and he reached up to tousle the newly dyed locks on the top of his head, now closer to a buzz cut than ever, the roots still a light shade of turquoise and the tips a sulfurous color of vivid yellow.
“You like it? I got Yuta to bleach it last night.” He said, clearly proud and puffing out his chest. “I think yellow is my color.”
“You look stupid.” Hendery said, whacking the back of his head and upturning up his messy style, which Ten glared at him for.
“That’s what I said.” Sicheng sighed, pushing the older boy out of the way. “But he wanted to bleach it. Yuta is a horrible influence, so he was happy to do it for him.”
“Yuta is more fun than any of you guys.” Ten bit back, but you all knew he didn’t mean it. It was hard to get affection out of him sometimes.
“I’m surprised you came, Sicheng. I thought you’d want to stay home.” Xiaojun commented, and the others seemed to agree silently with nods.
“He’s my date tonight.” Ten said proudly.
“Only tonight.” Sicheng cursed at Ten with his eyes, and the senior finally shut his mouth with a roll of his eyes, gripping Sicheng’s wrist and pulling him onto the bustling dance floor, a look on the latter’s face like he wanted to throw him out the window. You were on the fourth floor, for perspective.
“C’mon losers! Let’s dance!” Ten yelled to the group, and with reluctance but a fond smile, the four of you followed, losing yourself in the crowd and intense beat of the music, your hand still firmly intertwined with your boyfriend’s.
After half an hour or so of dancing, you were fully tired out. The banquet hall your school had rented out was three times the size of the gymnasium that usually held all the school dances, but it could barely contain the population of your school. Finding it difficult to breathe in the crowds of teens in flowy dresses and sharp tuxedos, you pulled yourself to the side by the drinks, hoping to get a quick breather before you were undoubtedly pulled back to partake in a slow dance with Xiaojun.
Your heart had hardly beat this fast in your life. The idea that all your time in high school was ending in one mere night was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time, and the energy radiating from the hall was enough to take your breath away. You walked off to the side, where couples were sitting at table and chatting —or alternatively, eating each other’s faces where the chaperones couldn’t see— and took a few deep breaths to regain your composure. From the crowds of students came an angelic face, hand outstretched and with a very concerned expression.
“You okay, baby?” Xiaojun asked soothingly, reaching for your hand, his fingers running over your own. “You seem a little stressed. You wanna go home?” You shook your head adamantly, lifting his hand and pressing a chaste kiss on his knuckles.
“I’m fine, just a little headache.” You assured him. “Keep dancing. I’m going to get some water, I’ll be right back.” He watched you with worry in his sparkling eyes.
“Are you sure?” He asked in disquietude, and you nodded. He pulled you into a soft kiss, his arm circling around your waist gently, the other free hand running up the side of your face to cradle your cheek, his thumb rubbing against your jawline. If you felt a bit dizzy before, the kizz made your head spin, and in a nice way. “Promise you’ll let me know if you need anything? The minute you want to go home, we can.”
“I promise.” You said with a gentle peck on his cheek, and he couldn’t hold back a smile. It was almost as if Xiaojun made it his goal to make you wonder how you got so lucky, every single day. “Go back and dance.”
It took a few minutes of insistence before your overly concerned boyfriend would leave your side, retreating to the dance floor with his eyes over his shoulder, finally turning back to your friend group when he realized you weren’t looking at him. You, meanwhile, just wanted to get some water and maybe an Advil if you got lucky and found someone with meds on them.
“Y/n?” A voice called from behind you, and you froze up at the familiar sound. It was too early, it was too soon, and it was altogether the wrong night. You prayed you heard the person wrong, and it wasn’t exactly who you predicted, but when you turned, your fears were confirmed by the blond standing six feet behind you.
His hair was styled neatly, half brushed back and the other half lifted a bit more and draping onto his forehead, a red suit made of a shiny fabric adorning his body, along with a corsage of orchids in his hand.
He remembered your favorite flower.
But that wasn’t what stood out. Despite how ethereal he looked in the moonlight that peeked through the skylights of the hall, his face lit by a pool of silver light, all you could see were the growing tears in his eyes.
“Yangyang-” You started to begin, but he cut you off without saying a word, simply shaking his head as tears began to fall from his eyes, despite how much he wanted to hold them back. He didn’t want you to see him cry: he didn’t want you to see how much you meant to him and how much he didn’t want to lose you. Maybe the past few months had made him soft, but he didn’t want you to see him vulnerable anymore.
“Did you just forget about me or something?” He asked, and his voice cracked at the same time that your heart did, and you felt a pang of guilt and sadness go through your chest at the sight of his teary face. “I… I guess I was wrong to try and start over.” He tossed the corsage to the ground before you could muster the strength to respond, turning on his heel and storming out of the hall, pushing past the hoards of students in the way to get to the exit and barging through the main doors. It took you a moment to regain your composure, and your sense, and before you knew it, you had picked up the edges of your skirt and dashed outside, your friends watching with concern and confusion from the dance floor as you burst through the doors with your skirt flying around you like a thunderstorm.
You had to catch him before he got too far, and you didn’t know why.
“Yangyang!” You screamed after him. He was still in your sight, storming off but only a few paces ahead of you. He was walking fast, but not fast enough, and maybe something in him was hoping if he walked slow enough, you’d be able to catch up with him and throw some excuse at him, telling him how you needed him back and you were sorry. But you didn’t get the chance, your red shoes tripped you up, the blade-thin heels tilting to the side, one snapping off as you dropped to the ground, tripping over your own feet and slamming into the concrete, the gravel scratching up your knees and surely your dress as well.
You groaned, getting to your knees and pushing your face off the concrete, hairs flying out of your neat do and matting to your forehead. You held back your tears, concentrated on catching up to the boy currently attempting to escape you. Brushing off your clothes, you winced when the time came to sit up, but you were startled by a pair of arms hooking around your waist and pulling you to your feet. Yangyang stared at you for a moment after helping you up, before breaking eye contact and pushing you away roughly with a stream of curses.
“I can’t believe this.” He muttered angrily. “I want to help you. I want to be with you, and I don’t want you to be alone, even after what you did to me. Why? Why do you do this to me?” He yelled, grasping your shoulders in his hands and shaking you. “Can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?! Can’t you get out of my head and out of my life?!” Tears streamed freely down your face as he jolted you aggressively, a whimper coming from between your lips. “I won’t let you run back to me, you know? When he breaks your heart! And he will, because he doesn’t know you like I do! Why wasn’t I enough for you? Did you just think you could move on without me?!” He let out a huff, before letting you go and you stumbled a few steps backward, fearful he might try to get ahold of you if you said anything in response. He waited silently, not breaking eye contact this time, and you shied away from his gaze shamefully. “Do you have anything to say?”
“I was going to tell you…” You mumbled, wiping the tears from your eyes, and he let out a scoff, anger and disbelief mixed in his tone.
“I never should’ve gotten close to you.” He stormed away, and this time, you didn’t have the strength to chase after him
And that's how your love story with Yangyang was over before it started.
⋰˚☆
The worst part was that he was right all along.
Five months after prom, Xiaojun broke up with you. It was nothing personal, he simply needed to focus on his career and his college was almost on the other side of Gyeonggi-do. He didn’t want to be that far away from you, especially when you were the longest relationship he had ever been in. He decided in the end it would be best for him to break up with you before either of you could hurt each other. It was selfish, but sometimes you wished he had asked what was best for you before he decided.
It didn’t matter. He always bought the wrong brands of body wash, never remembered your coffee order, and got roses for your anniversary instead of orchids like you kept hinting. He tried his hardest, but he didn’t know you. Just like Yangyang said.
He still texts you every day without fail. He always told you he never wanted to drift away from you. Once a month, you tried to meet up for coffee and a quick chat, and you found that after a few months, he ended up remembering your coffee order after all.
It took you a long time to get over him. Xiaojun was your first love, your first real one anyway, and every time you thought about his face, you got a sick nostalgic feeling in your stomach, like listening to a song with good memories but missing the times you used to listen to it freely. He was a song you wouldn’t forget, but a part of you wanted to. It took Kun months to get you to go out with friends for the first time, and after two years, you still remembered his face every time you entered the ice cream parlor on the corner of your street, or when you spotted a red suit in the display window at a boutique, or when you started tutoring your college classmates.
A few years passed, and you finally began to see him as a friend instead of an ex lover. Karina told you that was a good thing, but a part of you missed the comfort of regret and sadness. But eventually, your heart no longer ached when a notification popped up on your screen with his name across the bubble, or when he greeted you with a smile and an iced americano in his hand ready to catch up on each other’s lives.
“The peaches are great this season.” The old woman at the weighing station assured you as she handed you back your bag of produce, weighed and ready to purchase. You nodded politely, bowing shallowly before tucking the fruits into your basket and moving on to the bakery section of the grocery store.
A wide selection of food greeted you upon your arrival. Flaky pastries, honeyed confections and mousse covered cakes with strawberries and chunks of chocolate. You grabbed a green tea bolo from the back of the rack, remembering how much Xiaojun liked them and hoping it would still be good by the time you saw him later in the week. Out of the corner of your eye, hidden in the back and concealed behind all the delectable treats was a stack of mooncakes, small and golden brown with a pattern stamped onto the top. A flood of memories entered your mind, and your hand reached for one, when someone’s arm slammed into you from the side, seemingly trying to reach across you.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” they apologized, but froze when they caught sight of your face. You were equally shocked, arm still frozen in place and outstretched over the racks of pastries, your limb started to tremble from the tension. “Y/n?”
“Yangyang?” You asked in wonder, finally resting your arm at one side and tucking your basket behind your back, suddenly a bit embarrassed of the simple outfit you had worn, not thinking you needed anything more than pajama pants and a cropped tee to run a quick errand. “Hendery told me you went back to Germany.”
“I did.” Yangyang said. He looked just as he did back in high school, his hair still the same bleached dusty blond, this time a few shades closer to platinum. His style still hadn’t changed. He was wearing the same old hoodie he had back in 12th grade, gray with fading text, a flannel on top and headphones dangling from around his neck. You could faintly hear the bass coming from them as he stared you down. “I decided I wanted to come back. Thought I might see some old friends.” The comment felt oddly aimed at you, and you nodded with your jaw set and tense. “What are you doing here?”
“I live here.”
“With your family?” You shook your head, reaching for a mooncake and dropping it into your basket. You had figured he would have left the conversation by now.
“I moved out. Thought college life might be better if I didn’t live with my parents. I’m roommates with Sicheng now.”
“Karina?”
“She’s in Seoul studying for her masters.” You said, looking down. 
“Uh, how are the others anyway?”
“Hendery’s studying mechanical engineering in Seoul. Ten went to a liberal arts school in Gangwon, and Sicheng goes to my college. We try to meet up every once in a while, but they’re pretty busy. Other than Sicheng, I don’t get to see them very often.”
“Oh.” He sounded rather disappointed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, not sure of what to say to soothe you, and if you needed soothing or not. “Well, let them know I send my regards when you see them again. It’s been a long time since I saw them last.” You nodded.
“I’ll tell them.”
 There was an elephant in the room that neither of you necessarily wanted to address, but you could tell the blond boy before you clearly wanted an answer. He cleared his throat, hand over his mouth to muffle the sound.
“Are you and Xiaojun-”
“We broke up.” You said quickly, and he nodded awkwardly. Oddly enough, he didn’t seem smug, or angry. He just seemed a bit uncomfortable, even a little bit relieved to hear you were no longer seeing your highschool sweetheart. Maybe because he was the other one.
“It’s alright. I’m not seeing anyone either. College is easier without relationships.” He said gracelessly, and you found he was still as bad at comforting as he was years ago, and the thought made you chuckle.
“I suppose so.” You said, and he turned away, dropping a few mooncakes into his pocket before tapping his foot against the tiled floor.
“Uhm, goodbye then.” He bowed his head slightly, before jetting off to the cashier, dropping his things onto the conveyor belt, eyes lingering on you to see if you would follow. With a sigh, you moved on to the condiment section of the store, plugging in a pair of headphones and tucking your free hand into your pocket. Who knows, maybe you’d see him another day, walking to campus, getting ice cream with friends, or grocery shopping like he was today, but you’d let fate decide that for you.
You were tired of chasing after him. Plus, you were out of soy sauce.
⋰˚☆
─ back to the archive.
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fff777 · 7 months
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renjun and chenle being the babies of not only nct's chinaline but also svt's chinaline lol
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wisteria-woo · 1 year
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Ult Group Question Game
rule: answer question based on your ult group-- I think I may have done something like this for SHINee ages ago, so I’ll go with Seventeen this time around since I think it’s fair to say they’ve definitely tied for ult group status for me at this point.
Tagged by the slightly chaotic evil @twogyuu-- Since I am no longer opening links from you tonight for my health, I’ll do this tag game instead 😝
Who was your first bias? Minghao!
Who is your bias now? Wonwoo has decimated my entire bias list. He’s not just the SVT bias, but he holds the ult bias crown now.
What was the first MV you watched from them? Change Up, so leader line. But full group? After loving Change Up, I decided to go back to the beginning and watch Adore U... Which made me immediately stop watching their MVs again because I was like, they are absolute children 😂
What's your favorite MV?  Tied (and you CANNOT make me choose): Holiday and Oh My! -- I love them both far far too much. Oh My! is just so dreamy and one of my favorite song from them (And Oh My!Hao is ICONIC). Holiday is just so visually nostalgic and they look like they’re having so much fun… I am nothing if not obsessed with seeing people be happy!
If you could listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be? Okay, I’m going to choose an ot13 song... Well, I lied. But only in that I was going to choose just one. I can’t decide between them so you get two: Our dawn is hotter than day and Oh My!
Who would you want to see them collab with? Like Holly, I think AA’s group I can’t think of anyone I’d want to see them collab with. But in mini groups: -GIVE US THE TAEMIN X HOSHI COLLAB WE DESERVE! -I’d also love to see a chinaline collab with Hao/Jun/Lay/Ten (honorary chinaline member— I don’t make the rules SM does) IMAGINE the dancing 🤩 -Finally, DK, Seungkwan, Woozi + Doyoung (nct) on an OST for a drama where they all get to sing like the love of their life has just left them 🥹 the auditory bliss! I shouldn’t have let myself think of this because now I’m sad it will never happen…
What MV concept do you want to see them do? Is it a cop-out if I say I want another Holiday or Snapshoot type MV concept? Something where they’re just more free. Not so perfectly polished. Not overall theme besides just existing
Have you ever had a dream with any of the members in it? lol, I don’t dream about people as a general rule. So that’s a no for me.
If you could spend a day with one member, who would it be and what would you do? I truly have no idea. I can’t think of anything interesting to do, my brain is so tired from this day. Uh, off the top of my head, probably Jihoon (If I could speak Korean) so we could just talk music and anime like the nerds we are... Maybe I’ll reblog this again later if I come up with anything better lol
Which member do you think you'd get along best with?  Legit, Wonwoo, Vernon, Hao. I think as a person who is naturally quiet introverted, they would not overwhelm me. Wonwoo and I are just really similar, so that would be easy. Vernon I could talk to about music. And Hao I think would be an amazing conversationalist, especially on topics a bit more philosophical.
Which member do you think you would argue with? I am so non-confrontational, I’d say no one tbh. Now on the other hand I can be quite direct when I think something is not okay, so I don’t know if they would want to argue with me 😂
If you had to choose one member to scroll through your tumblr, who would it be?  Probs Vernon. I feel like he’d be both the least judgemental and also not care enough to want to tease me in front of the other members 😅
I am too lazy to tag anyone, but thanks for tagging me Holly! I love tag games :)
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