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#children who come from abusive situations still speak
jordanrosenburg · 27 days
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After watching the “Quiet On Set” documentary, I can’t help but feel like there are literally no good people in the entertainment industry. Even the “good” ones aren’t good. It solidifies that we don’t actually know anything about them. We only know who they present as to the media. 
I think like most people around my age, we grew up watching Nickelodeon during its golden age. I always looked forward to watching “All That” not only because it was funny, but because it was something I could watch with my older siblings. It was something the four of us could laugh together about. My sister and I still laugh over the bit from “Keenan and Kel” where Kel admits to dropping the screw in the tuna. So many iconic characters and television shows were created at the hands of Dan Schneider. 
What else was created at the hands of Dan Schneider were countless acts of abuse, harassment, manipulation, and much more. His sets were homes to child sexual abusers. Adults who are around children each and every day, taking advantage of their trust and innocence, grooming them and harming them physically and mentally. 
It’s not easy for victims of abuse to speak up. Many aren’t believed. Reliving trauma is a horrific experience, so I commend each and every person who shared their story for this docuseries. There were previous cast members who aren’t as well known who got to share their truths, there were crew members sharing stories about Dan’s harassment and sexism on set. There were many crew members that felt uncomfortable about the scenes they were shooting, but no one spoke up. Dan had so much power at Nickelodeon because he kept churning out hit after hit after hit. The parents weren’t much better, but I’ll come back to that. 
The docuseries revealed three adult men who were caught for child pornography, and for sexually abusing children. One man’s name is Brian Peck. He groomed Drake Bell for years. Joe Bell, Drake’s father, did everything he could to keep Brian away from Drake because he knew something just wasn’t right with how Brian acted around his son. Brian eventually convinced Drake to fire his father as his manager, and let his mother take over. This gave Brian the room to drive Drake to and from auditions, take him to Disneyland with him and his friends, and more. Drake Bell revealed in the documentary that Brian Peck sexually assaulted and abused him for years. Since Drake was a minor when it started, his identity was kept secret.
During the trial, many people wrote letters for Brian Peck, attesting to his character: James Marden, Taran Killam, Alan Thicke, Thomas DeSano, Ron Melendez, Rider Strong, and Will Friedle. Some of these names are extremely surprising, and others aren't at all.
Joanna Kerns saying, "there must have been some extreme situation or temptation exerted on him to influence is actions" at the time, and is now saying "I have now learned that my letter of support was based on complete misinformation.
Knowing what I know now, I never would have written the letter". For me, it's not even about her writing the letter, it's about her blaming Drake Bell, the victim, and child in the situation, as if Brian Peck wasn't a grown man who should have known better.
Kimmy Robertson also wrote victim blaming language in her letter of support for Brian Peck.
Rich Correll wrote, "it would be my pleasure to work with him again". And then he did! Brian was allowed to work on The Suite Life! Correll later said, they had no input or involvement in the casting". He also went on to say that, "Mr. Peck simply replied that 'the problem had been solved'".
The series went on from there, explaining how Dan’s behaviors just got worse and worse, and he “flew too close to the sun”. The inappropriate sexual innuendo bits on his shows happened more and more frequently. This included constant closeups on actors’ feet, many of the young female actresses being forced to be squirted in the face with various liquids to represent “money shots”. Ariana Grande probably had it the worst in that she had to film videos that went directly to YouTube, many of which included her biting her own toenails, squeezing a potato until juice squirted out of it, etc. Just absolutely disgusting things that do not make sense for a CHILDREN’S television show. These weren’t jokes for kids. This was Dan Schneider abusing his power, and seeing how much he could get away with. 
It wasn’t until Jeanette McCurdy’s mother died that Nickelodeon finally launched an investigation into Dan Schneider. Jeanette talks about this in her book, “I’m Glad My Mom Died”, which was a heart wrenching read, but well worth it. Jeanette returned to work a WEEK after her mother died from a long battle with cancer. Because of the backlash she got for that, Nickelodeon realized that it was the culture Dan created that probably made Jeanette feel like she had to come back, that she couldn’t take more time off. 
All Nickelodeon did was remove Dan from his sets, and made it so he could only watch from his office and give notes from there. Even though he wasn’t physically on set, the toxic and hostile environment was still alive and well because he was still watching everyone’s every move. 
Thanks to #MeToo, more and more women started speaking up about their experiences on set with Dan Schneider. And then in 2018 Nickelodeon finally kicked Dan Schneider to the curb after launching another investigation based off the new claims. The investigation didn't reveal proof of sexual abuse, but it revealed more cases of harassment of his actors and his crews.
Child stars are often made fun of and exploited by the media as they transition into adulthood. We watch their mental health decline until they’re caught having a breakdown. People point and laugh, and say it’s just another child star who couldn’t handle life as a grown up. But what I think a lot of people don’t understand is that many child stars are forced into the entertainment business. Parents put their financial burdens on their children, tell them they need to work to support the family. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a child. So, if something bad is happening on a set, a kid is going to be too afraid to speak up because they could be fired, and if they’re fired, then they’re not making money for their families. The parents are supposed to be on set and with the kids at all times. But so many turn the other cheek and don’t speak up because they don’t want to risk their kids getting fired. 
It just feels like no adults, not even the ones you’re meant to trust, are safe to be around. In some way, shape, or form these kids get abused. Whether it’s sexual abuse, racism, inflicted eating disorders, or other types of mental abuse, they’re not safe. No one is looking out for them. Everyone is more concerned with making money. 
The entertainment industry squeezes the youth dry and tosses them aside when they can’t legally control them anymore. And we wonder why so many of them have a tough time later on in life. The lucky ones are helped through therapy, and the not so lucky ones either turn up dead, broke, abused, or end up abusing others as they were abused. 
I am feeling very sad and heartbroken. And I’m not sure where to go from here. So many of these shows have brought me comfort and laughs over the years. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to enjoy them again. Is it okay to sit and watch reruns or should we be boycotting everything? I want to help in the ways that I can, but I also know that the world will stop caring about this in a week or so when the next big truth bomb about something else is dropped. 
People who have no moral conscious, people who are okay letting children be hurt for the sake of their own wallets shouldn’t have any power. And I hope everyone involved in hurting these kids, past and present, is forced to answer for what they did. I hope they’re shamed and cancelled and doxxed and everything else bad that can happen to people like them. I hope they go broke and become ruined. And at this point, I hope Nickelodeon just crashes and burns. They don’t deserve any salvation. 
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𝐹𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑇𝑒𝑦𝑣𝑎𝑡, 𝑇𝑤𝑜 𝑂𝑢𝑡𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠
Genshin Masterlist
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Mondstadt was far too peaceful, compared to the modern world of your planet. There was more greenery, more land to run around and just sit back and relax, trees and flowers weren't withered or tainted with cement...
And now, you were taking your words back as fast as Usain Bolt once ran.
Perhaps the outside of the city was just as you described, but the city? The City was the worst.
Children crying and screaming, people flocking around you and exclaiming their gratitude, elders praising you for your strength and beauty while telling how pretty and strong children you would have, how you were one of the fairest and most fierce maidens of the city and how blessed you were for having a face very similar to their Champion...
Aether's situation was worst, as he was soon surrounded with the teens of Mondstadt who had literal heart eyes for him, staring at his naked abdomen time to time as he blushed deeply while trying not to break anyone's heart...
You were starting to reconsider your early thought of settling here one day.
Your brain was turned into a puddle of jello, their constant talking doing nothing to relax your already throbbing head. Not even rubbing your temples worked, something that eased your school stress which often made your poor nape throb.
And the only way to just ease your poor abused mind, was to come to the Windrise where it was most peaceful with the almost-there hum of the nature and the huge tree
"Don't you think Lisa and Amber are like sisters?" you casually tell to Aether while extending a hand to touch the branch above your head as the shorter male looks up at you from the food he was eating, a kind of sandwich from your world that he was sure he would beg you to prepare more often.
It was one of the best snacks he ever had, and even tasted...familiar.
"Why do you say so?" He raised his brows with a questioning look, already preparing to hear yet another bizarre thing out of your mouth like you usually did whenever you were too bored, while wiping the leftovers on his lips with a napkin you offered so that he didn't use his dirty hands like an uncultured boy.
Nah uh, not on your watch.
" Amber does all of Lisa's footwork. Elder sisters also ask, rather demand, their little sibling to do something for them to laze around." You hummed all-too-knowingly with a shrug, slapping the branch softly with a smile.
He only hummed for a few seconds, pondering for an answer while looking through his previous memories with his sister. Although he forgot most of his memories, he was still able to remember Lumine and all the bickering they did.
And that alone put a smile on his face.
"Hmm... Since me and my sister are the same age, we always used to decide with playing rock, paper and scissors. How about you Y/N?"
"Oh... Uh, It's actually... Something I really don't want to talk about." you trailed off, clear discomfort written on your face as you and Aether sat side by side with Paimon laying on the green field like a starfish, looking up at the Tree of Vanessa and watching the slimes slowly go away to their path, totally unaware of the awkwardness that hung on the air.
But you also knew, from the almost teary eyes Aether had that he missed Lumine and needed to just vent... Even if you didn't wish to speak of your life back on Earth.
"How about Lumine? How is she like?" you asked him with a sigh, tightening your hold on your folded legs and resting your head on your knees as you turned your head to look at him with a soft smile. From what you vaguely knew, while Aether was a sunshine and more approachable due to his cute and round face, Lumine seemed more calm and collected and more likely to beat someone up and not be sorry.
Though she also had her soft and loving moments occasionally. As a matter of fact, you saw yourself in her even when you hadn't actually met her yet... A girl, looking so tough and strong, also sarcastic and funny in her own way, but is actually very vulnerable and in dire need of someone understanding her struggles and pain, and still loving and being there for her.
You could have become such good friends with her...
But you just... couldn't help wondering what happened to them. Why were they there? What did they see or experience enough to leave this world in a hurry? Why the Gods of this world didn't leave them be? What was beyond what others saw in them?
What did the Celestia plan for them this time?
You widened your eyes as your heart started beating erratically, all the while trying not to alert Aether, who was looking at the horizon, from your sudden fear, your mind was suddenly blank at what just crossed your mind. What was even this Celestia you just said? And what did it mean "this time"? You were so sure that you didn't know this world, you couldn't possibly know anything since you just started playing the game and getting into the lore, watching theory edits and such.
And you definitely hadn't read any books about the history of this world either. Then what was that sudden thought thar crossed your mind? Why did it sound like you knew this would happen and this Celestia?
The only thing you had gotten close to knowing about this world was that time when you first met Storm Terror and... a strange bard who talked to that dragon...
Who stared at you with a shocked face, eyes wide with terror and sadness as he looked at you tearfully, as if he had seen his lost lover after years of death taking his love away.
As if a war had wracked both him and whatever he held dear to himself forever to not give what he once blissfully had but never realized it. As if he had seen the ghost of a friend, or a lover right before him when he thought he would never.
Why am I thinking about such things? I mean sure, he was pretty cute with his big green and turquoise eyes and I literally felt my heart broke for him after he made such a kicked puppy face but... I don't even know him! Who is he anyways, and why do I feel like I know both him and that dragon? Why did such a terrifying creature literally whined at the first sight of me?
And your eyes just drifted up, where a land was floating slowly above, close to Mondstadt as if flauntly, as if to showcase its own power, to tell the humans below that they were the ones in power and that they could end them with just one single blow...
Arrogant jackasses... Those fucking, good for nothing Gods, thinking so highly of themselves yet still hiding...
Something inside of you told you that for whatever reason, you would see both that bard and dragon once again and then, you could demand some answers from him. Maybe it was a bit harsher than usual saying in such situation where you didn't even know that bard and therefore couldn't have any problem to begin with but, could anyone blame you for your fear, nerves and behaviour when you didn't know anything and anyone, not even about your travelling partners?
So, as weird as this whole situation was and you were getting the creeps because of it as if you were being watched, you were still happy to be here with Aether and hopefully learn more about him and his sister.
Maybe I could become friends with her too when all this ends and we find her? I wonder what she likes though, I hope she doesn't beat me up because I would be really sad but happy to be beaten by a strong, pretty-
At his silence that made the little balloon in your mind pop, which was enough to tell you that he wasn't ready to talk about her yet, you pondered for another way for him to open up without causing discomfort to him.
"What... exactly happened when you wanted to get out, Aether? And above all, why did you want to get out in a hurry?" you asked softly, not wanting to startle and trigger him since his eyes seemed lost as he concentrated on somewhere far away and also, not to dive deep in your own thoughts of being beaten by strong and pretty women.
He turned to you when he heard your voice after minutes of silence, focusing on your eyes as he shrugged his shoulders. He trully didn't remember much, he even barely remembered telling you that he and his sister was leaving in a hurry.... Perhaps, it was another play of that Unknown God to make him weaker, to enslave him forever.
He was going to have his revenge oh so badly, he swore it.
"I don't remember... All I remember is that feeling of panic and fear before the Unknown God came and another shooting star protected us before everything went black and I woke up near that shore."
You nodded your head absentmindedly, plucking a Windwheel Aster to play with as your mind played the familiar screen play where you needed to choose one twin over the other to save.
Which was just a while ago before you suddenly woke up here.
However, it was strange enough that there was a shooting star which protected them from the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles, Asmoday, though he was yet to know her true name. From someone way too powerful than anyone on Teyvat, even the Archons.
But yet again, it was only normal. Archons were once normal Gods who lived in Celestia, before whatever it was that resulted in the ruined buildings, abandoned castles and desolate lands all across this vast world.
Yet...
Since the world was changing with your presence here, obviously since you were not from the game and lore... Would you dare to change the destiny of this world? Of all the people you will meet, of Aether and Lumine? Of Paimon on who you had no idea over as to what or who she is?
Do you dare to go against Celestia, as a human who didn't have a chance against Them even when a God had a slim one at deceiving and fighting that power?
These were definitely not in the game... Just what else is different than the game version?
Apart from the uncertainty this new reveal brought to you, which was initially another side that excited you, life in Mondstadt was... Peaceful for the most part.
It seems their Archon did a good job with maintaining what they were created for: Freedom.
Even imagining what future days may hold for you in this city, the secrets those ruins held, the kind of history they hid and what you could discover there filled you with a buzzing feeling that almost made you shake with excitement. After all, playing through a screen and actually witnessing them were way different.
Spoiler alert: You didn't like those Ruin Guards.
But even amidst your happiness, the one feature you had thanks to your more shy and reserved self back in your world since no one really paid attention to you started working: Picking on the mood of people close to you.
And in this case, it was Aether who was your stark contrast, sitting with a face close to breaking apart.
At first glance, Aether almost seemed like he didn't care about what happened to him. His eyes were hard most of the times, even when he didn't talk about his sister, and since he was kind of selectively mute because he didn't understand Teyvat language and you and Paimon were the ones who talked to him and communicated with others in his stead, that's why people often thought of him to be too harsh and hard to get close to.
If only they knew how wrong they were, if only they knew he had such a golden heart as you stared at his teary golden orbs as the boy slowly broke apart after months of being alone.
"And just like that... I lost both my sister and powers as some kind of seal was casted upon me and now, we are trapped here." Aether spoke out in a whisper, too low for you to hear had you been a few meters away from him as he clenched his hands angrily, veins popping up by the sheer force he applied at remembering the smug face of that Unknown God that trapped him here.
You always knew how lonely and hard it must be for Aether, with no one else to talk to like you did and no one to spend time casually with. Humans, whether on Earth or some other universe, always needed to be social whether they liked it or not. The humankind had always been that way, always seeking out closure and companionship and never wanting to be alone. If asked "What do you fear the most?", most people here would answer with "Archons." probably with "being alone" being the second most given answer.
But Aether had been alone for the longest time and possibly fought with many Gods in other worlds and this one, just to get out of here with his sister.
He experienced all the fears of ordinary people.
Paimon could always fly to wherever she wanted and eat without a problem, and even go for her own journey if she wanted. You could always ask for help from people and even hang out with them freely without worrying about anything and there wouldn't be a huge language barrier between you and them as well, unlike a certain short blondie.
Paimon could find another travelling buddy, you could settle down here and even build a new life for yourself.
Aether had no one and no way to do such things.
How could I be so stupid to not see this before?! He must have felt too bad as I hung out with Kaeya! Like a lonely kitten only wanting its owner..!
"You know... You are not alone here." you tentatively spoke, after internally scolding yourself for being carried away from the excitement of being in Mondstadt, carefully weighing your words as you slowly touched his hand, to which he lifted his head slowly in shock and stared at your star-shaped eyes that seemed to captivate him even more with each day.
"What do you mean? Have I suddenly started to understand their language or something?" he sarcastically asked with a slight hint of amusement, which he only did with you and not Paimon because your reactions were better, making you sigh out and pinch his cheeks harshly with a giggle as you cooed at his flustered state.
"Getting sarcastic now, are we? Oh my, I didn't know you had that side of you!" he rolled his eyes sarcastically at your dramatic gesture, swatting your hand away. But as the noisy little shit you were, you kept pestering him and nudge him with a wide smile that Aether couldn't dare to erase.
Enjoyment, nowadays, was hard to find for him after all.
He continued to look at you and listen to you excitedly talk, even though he knew it was because of your nerves by how hard you were chewing on your lips and fiddling with your fingers. Unaware, you kept on talking while putting stray hairs behind your ear to push them aside, all futile attempts too mask your nervousness from what you were about to stay...
And whether they would come off as offensive.
"I mean, obviously, me and Paimon can't be like your sister and we absolutely have no intention to do so but we are your friends. If you have something troubling you, you come to us. If you want to talk about anything, absolutely anything, you come to me. Because let's be real, Paimon would probably pull it towards foods and I'm rambling but you got the idea-
"Thank you... Y/N..."
"And I mean, I know I could be very-wait, what?"
You stammered nervously in shock at what left Aether's mouth so softly with a deep emotion, not expecting the chuckle that left his lips breathlessly next at your shock. His giggle was really cute, something that eased your worried heart and almost made you think everything was back to normal and that you two were just simple people hanging out together and not trying to roam this world for a way to get out.
But he was trully grateful, grateful for your attempts of making him feel better, always looking out for ways to look after him, being his friend...
Everything.
"I know you don't trust us yet, but I can assure you that as long as I am alive, I'll make sure you see your sister again and travel worlds again." you finalized what you had to say with a firm yet soft pat on Aether's back, promising him just like the time you had to choose one of them with a heavy heart and let the other be taken.
Like the first time you felt like a true villain.
Aether only gave you a wide yet tearful smile as he nodded his head, the light of the Sun of Teyvat hitting on both of your skins and making them appear to be so soft that you almost thought it was coming behind a silk cloth.
After all, he wasn't going to be alone anymore... After fighting his demons in the dead of the night for so long, without anyone really understanding his struggles...
He now had another friend, another one who understood him and how traumatic it was to be trapped in a completely foreign world.
Seeing you finally broke every kind of ice between you two, and since you didn't want to be sad all day when the weather was so nice, you hugged him tightly from his shoulders with a wide smile, opening your palm to show the vast greenery before you which was a blessing of Mondstadt and their Archon... well, whoever that fucker was now.
"Besides! You can't really get rid of me that easily! I have this bad habit of never separating from those I deem very close," you whispered the last part almost threateningly, leaning closer to his ear with a hand covering your mouth and his ear as if there was someone that could hear you, unaware of the heavy blush covering his whole face while he avoided looking down at your lips unconsciously...
A sudden, soft murmur broke you two apart harshly.... And saved Aether from the embarrassment by giving him enough time to dip his whole face to the cold water at the Windrise.
" So, does this make you and Aether my siblings, Y/N?" you flinched when you heard the childish yet sleepy voice of Paimon suddenly, who grew on you even if she sometimes got on your nerves. She was stretching as much as her tiny body would allow, slapping her lips loudly as she yawned and looked around with wide and curious eyes as if she wasn't here hours before she slipped into a deep slumber
Nonetheless, you couldn't help but coo at her cute question with a hand over your chest as Aether chuckled next to you while looking at Paimon who was sitting in front of you both before patting her head and confirming her...
Well, that was before she decided to become a little menace to you once again.
"Wait, wha- Aww you are so cute for-"
"Since you do all the footwork and I float-"
A cheeky grin from her as you groaned.
"Are you fucking serious right now?" An irritated scowl was plastered on your face with brows raised in question at the floating emergency food, the latter wheezing at the expression of your face while Aether tried to cover his giggles to be spared from your wrath ( which only earned him a slap to the back of his head because how dare he get satisfaction from such thing!).
But as much as betrayed you were from Paimon fooling you, it was also... kind of funny, what she said. She was really like a kid who didn't have a filter on her mouth and mind, never knowing when and what was the appropriate time to say something... That was perhaps what made her endearing in your eyes.
"Come on, Y/N, I can see your smile! I know you found it funny!"
"...Maybe, yes, it was funny." you grumbled to which they let out a loud yay! and you smiled at their enthusiasm with tired yet content eyes as silence settled once again. Paimon eyed you and Aether for a few seconds, admiring how pretty and strong you looked as you allowed Aether to lean his whole weight onto you and laid his head comfortably on your shoulder while she wasn't in any different position as she laid across your lap, with your hand slowly caressing her hair and pat her head.
For some reasons, you always gave off of a comforting vibe ever since they saw you or well, you saw them, timidly getting close to them to ask if you could sit with them near the fire they had built, promising that you wouldn't hurt them. They were suspicious at first just as any normal person would be, but Aether couldn't find it in his heart to decline you when you looked so helpless, just like he first woke up in Mondstadt apparently and didn't know anything, desperately in need of help.
You reminded him of himself, helpless and unaware of the dangers that laid ahead.
What sealed the deal for you and them, since they had eyed you all throughout the night for any suspicious move, and since Aether was laying down from the deep cut he got from his abdomen and bleeding, but was only met with a happy tune you muttered under your breath while getting warm with a contented smile, was how easily you got up and drew your dual blades- which they soon learnt them to be actually a spear that could be connected to each other- to protect them from a horde of hilichurls and even two Abyss Mages, with burning red and blue flames engulfing your blades and later the enemy.
The only thing you gave to them that night was a serene smile as you pointed to his wound with a worried expression, which made them both wince with guilt from how badly they thought of you when you only cared to protect them.
"Your wound looks bad... I have some ointments I made myself and I know how to sew a wound, letting it stay open like that would surely make it get infected. If you allow me, may I help you, young travellers who helped me?" and then a gorgeous smile that captured them.
And as you prepared everything while making small talk with Aether to draw his attention elsewhere from the numbing pain of his wound, initially learning you both were not from this world, that was when your fates aligned together which would change the fate of all of the Teyvat.
Suddenly, you three had become each other's companions and the others' everything.
And as she laid on your lap comfortably Paimon felt... bad and even saddened for you, feeling like crying suddenly as she stared at your protective hold on both of them even while you rested, being completely exposed to any kind of danger, although they knew there were no hilichurls or Abyss Mages close by.
You have always been there for both of them, protected them even when you barely knew them, patched them up, cooked them food and even gave some of yours to Paimon because she loved that particular dish so much or to Aether both because he was hurt and he was usually the one who did most of the work and needed energy more than you...
You have always been sacrificing something for them and what had they ever done to repay beck for all the kindness and love you gave them?
So far, nothing... They didn't exactly have a lot of Mora , even with new commissions they were taking and besides, you always refused to have a share of it since you three needed to either buy food or medicinal items and strictly prohibited them from buying anything for you like a mother scolding her children from spending too much for them.
"I don't need anything to know that you care for me and love me, sillies! Just be happy, healthy and make sure to not hurt yourselves too much and we're fine! Seriously, you are giving me grey hairs..."
Perhaps they couldn't show their love however they wanted to, per your orders, but she could definitely tell you how much you and Aether meant for her!
"Besides the footwork joke... Paimon never really had a family, or at least doesn't remember having one. So, Paimon is very happy to have such strong and caring siblings!" she smiled serenely, genuinely as she tilted her head to look up at you both, knowing full well that neither of you were actually sleeping from the small smiles you both supported. She nuzzled closer to your lap happily with a relaxed sigh, not caring whether you heard or not because she was so damn sure you did.
Paimon really could be so damn adorable when she wanted....
She didn't have to know, but both you and Aether were keeping your eyes closed just so that Paimon wouldn't get worried because of the tears that blurred your visions from what she said so earnestly, her touching words reaching the depths of your heart.
"We really are a strange Trio, huh? Two Outlanders, one pixie baby who refuses to be our little emergency food-" you idly sighed out with hands smoothing down their hair gently, making them both sigh and nuzzle closer to you... Though Paimon was just a tiny bit agitated because of what you said about her.
"For God's sake, come on!" you giggled in the most evil way possible at her growing irritation and kicking her legs up in the air angrily but continued anyways with little to no care.
Hah, that's what you get for always teasing me!
"One can easily understand this world's weird language and also the language of his other outlander companion, but doesn't have any other super powers-"
"They are called Visions!"
"And even so, it seems that some people noticed our strange behaviour..." You mumbled to yourself in worry as your hand momentarily stopped in mid-action, head lifting up to look at the city far from you three, standing on the lake and bustling with energy.
Oh yes, Lisa and Jean had their own suspicions about your powers. Both you and Aether seemed like normal people on the outside, but Aether could easily use Anemo vision and not get affected by the venomous tears of the dragon Dvalin.
And you? You used a different, much more powerful kind of fire than anyone else, wielded a long and heavy spear (something less than 3 people or so did in Mondstadt), and somehow... Understood Teyvat language and Aether's mother tongue without any difficulties even when you weren't from either one of the worlds.
"It's still very strange. Even if It's obvious they are exceptional and strong people, neither Y/N nor Aether seems to be affected by Dvalin's tear..." Jean mumbled curiously from her position near the window, staring sternly at you two as you shuffled closer to Aether to shield him and Paimon. That was, until your attention was taken away by Lisa who circled around you like a predator does to its prey, a finger touching your chin and turning your head to her direction flirtitously with a slight pout.
"Besides, StormsTerror seemed much calm and soft when its eyes landed on our cutie Y/N... I wonder why, have you ever interacted with a dragon before perhaps?"
To be honest, you also didn't have the answer for that. While you were floating up in the air with Aether, cross firing at the vicious dragon to stop it from harming the City....
You felt a sudden sting deep in your heart which threatened to tear you apart when its eyes found yours.
And no, it wasn't because of the glider Amber gifted you weighing on your back, making it harder to breathe since you weren't used to... floating.
It was as if you were hurting a very dear old friend, a family that was once your everything and a part of your soul.
Besides that chest piercing pain you still continued to experience even after that dragon flew away, what was that mysterious voice that helped easing your scared heart as the wind gently caressed your whole body and mostly face, as if phantom fingers rubbed your cheeks and head to map your whole face, and helped you with making StormsTerror leave Mondstadt for some time right after helping Aether with some shitty Mages that appeared out of nowhere?
Don't worry Windblume, I won't let you go. Not this time... Now concentrate and feel the wind in your veins just like you did before...
It was so soft, so loving yet... Also so pained, so hollow as if he missed a great part of him, as if he was trying to make up for a mistake he has done as you felt a sudden surge of power in you, a sweet pain on your back and just like that...
Five Mages were down with a flick of your spear.
"I just hope we didn't make their job harder than before with our presence..." You sighed after a long while, those thoughts still lingering at the back of your head and tapped their heads gently to get them to move since the sun was slowly setting and you needed to go back to the city where Jean kindly prepared a room for you three in the headquarter... After she asked what you needed since you three saved the city.
All of you first declined, but after Paimon and Aether left the room completely, you turned to Jean and with a stern face, asked for only a room which Aether would never have even a speck of information about you asked for it.
Fortunately, she understood your reasoning and with a kind smile, and even more respect growing in her for you, she offered whichever room you wished to have alongside new clothes and three courses of meal and told Aether that it was a "special thank you to the Honarary Knights from the Knights of Fovanius" and to have both of you closer in case of emergency.
Thank her and her brains, no wonder she is the Dandelion Knight and the Acting Grand Master...
"But just as Amber said, the number of hilichurls and Abyss Mages decreased significantly! Paimon wonders if it has something to do with Aether or Y/N!" Paimon exclaimed curiously as she watched you pack up and usher them both to go to their merry way as you turned abruptly, pointing to your chest unbelievingly and looking around.
"Me? Why though?"
She kicked her legs up in the air frustratedly, swiping her palm through the air and showing the nature around her as if it was an obvious fact and you were a fool for not seeing it....
And you trully didn't get it.
Seeing your confusion, Aether chuckled as he lead Paimon to float before you two started bickering again as he started to explain as much as he could.
"They always liked hanging out with you and even protected you... An insane part of me even thinks that they know you're in Mondstadt and therefore, don't want to disturb you since they know you are safe and happy."
Life truly didn't turn out the way Aether had wanted, and probably would never. His life had taken a sharp tune as soon as he and Lumine chose this world to travel next and... All of you knew how it ended.
But now, it wasn't so bad like it used to be months ago. Every day, even every hour, he was met with yet another extraordinary person or habit and it intrigued him a lot. Learning all about the people of Teyvat, what they did for living and their history, hanging out with people... He loved doing all those things, it made him feel like he was back to being the previous Aether before all the chaos happened.
Even though he knew he shouldn't get too attached and form bonds that would be broken in the end inevitably... when he finds his sister and leave the world behind. But maybe... Maybe he could get to bring you and Paimon with himself too? It wasn't like you couldn't, you definitely could land on another world since you were also an Outlander. There was a chance that Paimon couldn't, since he still didn't know of her origins, but he would fight Gods and Archons if he needed, so that he could keep his family together.
His sister, who was the literal half of his soul. Paimon who was always there to help him out and make him enjoy the life Teyvat could offer while guiding him and you... You, who always had tragic yet also comedic stories to tell them from your world whenever they get uncomfortable in some ways. You, who roasted people with your sharp tongue and quick mind, while being a total menace and gremlin, whenever they didn't take no for an answer since Aether didn't want to offend anyone and just did everything they wanted as the "helpful boy" he always was...
or whenever people didn't believe him whenever he said he was probably a lot older than their Archon because of his young, baby face.
Oh yeah... He was very doomed as he already got attached to you and the floating baby you always sweetly called.
"If you can consider being in a city where people worship 'The Champion' that eerily looks like me who fought alongside Barbatos for many times and face a huge statue of the said-champion every day being happy and safe... Then yes, I definitely am!"
Aether snorted at the sarcastic answer he got from you and the dramatic flip of your hair, not being able to help the fake-disappointed shake of his head as he watched you fondly with hands on either sides of his hip.
"What am I going to do with you?"
"Probably bear with me and my awesome self and amazing jokes, and also love me!" You turned around with a gleeful smile, hair floating up and dress swiping through the sudden wind that engulfed you softly and in that moment, he wished that the smile you always had would never disappear.
That you wouldn't loose the happiness and hope blossoming in your eyes with each new day greeting you.
And he thought, whatever strange things revolved around you and the mysteries even you didn't know about yourself...
He would always be there for you, just like you did and will continue to do with him.
You would get to solve all the mysteries and puzzles about just who this "Champion" was and their link to you. Meet and demand answers from that Archon about his sister and the Champion whom he was always depicted together with and maybe... Maybe, at least one of you would be able to get rid of that fog which clouded your memories.
And with that, three of you entered the safety of the walls of the City of Freedom once again... A place where you already started calling "home".
Unaware of what was waiting for your group in the headquarters.
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wiitzend · 28 days
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the problem with this whole child stars situation and that brings me back to cole sprouse’s interview (yeah, i know he is problematic too) but he spoke about how his mom pushed him both him and his brother to work as a kids to sort of full-fill her dreams as an artist and also to help them financially since she was a single mom and i get that but this is the thing that also demi lovato said, at one point she wants financially sustaining her entire family and this creates a weird power imbalance where she not longer viewed her mom as a authority figure because she was acting as the breadwinner of the family.
a lot of parents know they’re setting up their kids to this situations and yet want to ignore it because they want the money and for their child’s to keep paying the bills. only alexa nickola’s mom was like yeah no, we’re leaving at the first sign that something was really wrong.
alyson stoner in her podcast (worth watching) also speaks about how if you notice a lot of the productions nowadays take place in states where rules against child actors aren’t in action for example altlanta so it’s easier for production to manipulate it. I know a big portion of child actors have had some horrible experiences at some degree and most don’t want to either relieve that or admit that it happened to them. and that’s fair.
i agree 100%.
i genuinely don't understand a parent's wish to live vicariously through their own children and push them to become child stars when they willingly know the dangers that can come from that. if you have to work extra hours as a single parent to support your children then that's what just what you have to do as an adult. you never made it in hollywood and you're still bitter because of that? too damn bad. get over it. some of these parents play an equal hand in their children's abuse and they need to be held accountable as well.
i think it's incredibly valid that some child actors don't want to reveal that happened to them when working on these tv shows/movies. some of these stories are pretty horrific, i just hope they get the help they need to heal and move on so the people who abused them won't be able to steal another minute of their peace and well-being.
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Part 2 of Everlark and their parents lets go Peeta your turn now.
Now this one is harder. We know very little explicit information about Peeta's family so a lot of this will be inference and my own personal interpretation of the family and their dynamic based on what we do see, what we don't see, and the way Peeta acts, so if you disagree with me that's all good lol.
So first, Peeta grew up in an absuive household. That's not a debate that's explicitly canon. Him mother not only hits him, implied to be with something, but also calls him a worthless creature when he burns the bread for Katniss. No matter that circumstance that is not how you treat your eleven year old child, that is not how you treat any child period, and this clearly isn't a one off or first time. Even though we personally see very little of the abuse on page, I at least think its impact of Peeta is very clear.
This boy has abysmal self esteem, when he discovers Katniss and Haymich have hidden things from him again he feels as if they view him as weak and stupid and too dumb to get it, that's the automatic assumption even though we know that's so far from the truth it's laughable. But for a child that grew up being consistently insulted and belittled it's not that far of a jump to make.
His ability to lie, also I think is relevant here. That kind of ability with words doesn't come from nowhere, that doesn't just happen that's something practiced. A theme with Katniss and Peeta's talents throughout the trilogy is that even the things they are good at and that help them were born from necessity. Katniss is so good with a bow and practical survival skills because she had to be, because even though she grew to love hunting, she and her family would have died without it. Peeta's skill with art comes from working at the bakery it comes from years worth or practise and labor he put in as a child, and I think his ability to lie, manipulate, mask his true feelings and talk his way though things stems from a similar place. His mother is called 'the witch' colloquially, we see she clearly has a temper and resorts to violence and insults quickly. A lot of children who grow up in abuse grow to be very charming, they learn how to lie and manipulate the situation to get themselves out of trouble and to keep themselves and potentially their siblings safe. At least to me Peeta's unmatched ability to impact and morph a situation with just his words could very easily be linked back to his childhood. We all love that Peeta is such a good manipulator but only ever uses it for good, and I think this is partially why, because he doesn't even want to be necessarily, it was a skill born for survival. His mothers cruelty is also shown very much to not be reserved purely for him, she chases starving children away from their empty bins, speaks awfully about the seam and the people from it.
His father is a complicated man. he clearly dose have love for Peeta and is shown many times to be a kind man at his core. But he is passive. He may bring Katniss cookies and make generous trades, he may have been the one to impart that inherent kindness we see in him onto Peeta, and may have been the only safe adult in the house, but he is passive. We don't know the extent of how much he steps in when his wife starts acting out, but from what we can see of her effect of Peeta clearly not enough. He also doesn't come to live with him after the games, none of them do. And while I understand practically that might not be the most reasonable situation, a newly disabled, traumatised sixteen year old boy was still left to live alone. His family may have visited often, they still talk we see him going to dinner with them, but I think their lack of mention speaks more than anything else here.
The relationship between his parents was also not exactly the best model to grow up observing. When he is five years old his dad tells Peeta is was in love with another woman, he points out her child to him, explains how he lost her. There is no addendum of how much he loves his mother now, how it was in the past. Peeta grew up with parents he was acutely aware did not love each other and from what we see and here, don't even pretend to act like it.
Now how dose this relate to Katniss. This first part is more my own speculation so ignore me if you disagree, but Katniss in the first games mentions Peeta doing certain things with her she remembers her parents doing, and wondering where he learnt it from, thinking surely not his own parents. And I think she's right, I think he learnt it from hers. Peeta is observant, I think after his father pointed out Katniss and her mother he payed attention, not just to Katniss but to her parents as well. I think he was a little fascinated by this family, these parents who clearly adore each other these children with skin clear of bruises who have never been made to feel like nothing from there parents who clearly think the world of them. There was six years from when Peeta noticed her to Mr Everdeens death, that's six years for him to observe this family and their love. Not obsessively, not even knowingly, but I think it happened. I think the Everdeens weren't just Katniss's reference for a relationship but Peeta's as well. I don't think she was the only one drawing comparisons, even if he didn't completely realise what he was doing.
(Additional evidence for this pointed out by @intellectual-punk in Mockingjay Haymitch tells Katniss the doctors showed Peeta the propo of her singing The Hanging Tree and he recognized the song and Katniss says she doesn’t know how he could as he never heard her sing it. Haymitch says he remembers her father singing it as their fathers traded. Peeta hasn't heard this song since he was 11, he’s 17 at the time of remembering it. So for him to remembering it after so long after last hearing it and clearly not hearing it around the house we can imagine that her father must have sang it near every time the two men traded and that Peeta was either specifically listening to his singing as he knows from his father that that is how Mr Everdeen won over Mrs Everdeen or he was just generally paying attention to the man either on his own or in relation to Katniss.)*Found in notes {Thank you so much for this}
I also think, going back to people seeking out the familiar, that Katniss reminded him in certain ways of his father. They're both quiet, both people associated with providing food in one way or another. I think he see's her in the way that while they both clearly love him, they both struggle to show him, leaving him to question it for a long time. But where his father fails to protect him, Katniss doesn't. Katniss doesn't have his fathers passivity, far from it, Katniss Everdeen is anything but passive. She actively works to protect him and others, she speaks out loudly when she finds something wrong, she still has that kindness, but it never gets in the way of what's necessary.
This is also where I see his mother come in, I think he dose see some similarities there. In their tempter, in the sharp way they can use their words, in the way she underestimates him in the beginning and even hurts him on occasion, shoving him into the vase (I think?) and cutting his hands after the first interview. But in so many ways Katniss is the opposite. Peeta may have developed a crush because of her voice, but he falls in love because of the way she helps people, because he knows her intrinsically and intrinsically Katniss is someone who cares. He always comments on her healing ability, even if she finds it lacking it's clearly something he loves about her, hands that heal instead of hurt. His mother was cruel to everyone especially those less fortunate, meanwhile Katniss would give everything on her to those who need it more. He see's the similarities yes, and unconsciously that familiarity might be a small drive towards her, but ultimately he loves Katniss for the ways in which she is different from his mother, the ways in which his mother failed, for the ways in which she stepped in where his father fell short. As well as for a lot of other reasons of course, but I think his parents impact is definitely something to consider.
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lady-charinette · 9 months
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Convince me to watch Buddy Daddies, if you please?
*sips tea*
I will make a powerpoint presentation if this very biased, very comprehensive list still doesnt convince you.
Reasons to watch Buddy Daddies:
the songs are catchy (listen to SHOCK by Ayase, you'll be dancing in your living room or crawling on the walls)
its a hitmen trying to parent action rom(?)-com with very relatable fresh parent moments, yakuza domestic violence scenes and a short if on the nose critique on Japan's bogus complicated paperwork process while Kazuki and Rei try to enroll Miri into daycare and forging getting all the neccessary documents and forms together
features a motherly, overzealous best friend with past trauma-coded hitman Kazuki, who's more the 'brains' aka strategist of a hitmen duo together with deadpan, possessed-by-a-cat-spiritiually hikikomori who knows his way better around a gun or 100 than he does in a grocery store Rei.
the best assassin ever doesn't know how to cook for shit, his signature dish is french toast
the mothers of the other kids Miri plays with at daycare oggle Rei and Kazuki (understandable since they're two hot single dads ahem)
there's a mom group chat where the chat explodes with messages like "OIL BARON?! I KNEW THEY SMELLED OF OLD MONEY!", "they r hot :D" & rumors about the family situation in general
the jokes/compliments the mom's give to Rei "he's very cool! he has that hitman aura!"
Miri's biological dad gets killed during a deadly altercation with Kazuki and Rei in a shootout, her only other biological relative is her mom, who abandoned Miri in order to pursue a singing career with an abusive boyfriend but is trying to get around & wants Miri back
Kazuki is a deadly housewife
central themes: family relations, blood doesn't mean shit, the horrendous struggles of raising a kid with 0 knowledge of how to raise kids, sacrifice, implied stigma of two men raising a child alone + stigma against single mothers, generational trauma & overcoming trauma as adults, sometimes the only light at the end of the tunnel is your completely platonic co-worker who offers to cut your hair, a warm bath and gets your life together so you don't die alone
Rei has an undercut
Miri is the cutest ball of energy and sass that only a small child possesses
some boy has a crush on Miri but gets the Death StareTM by her two overprotective Papas
the tough, cutthroat life of a kindergartener
the overlapping themes of how important family is & how biological family can have the types of people in your life you absolutely want and have to cut off in order to be healthy, adjusted adult
love being the driving force to overcome obstacles, grief being the love with nowhere to go and the suffocating emptiness being replaced by a mismatched found family of two assassins and an orphan toddler who cook together and win races together
the food looks good
how grief and generational/familial trauma can cripple people in different ways and how traumatized people can heal together and become each-other's strength
alcohol is not the answer kids (oh and killing too)
the concept of motherhood: Ep 3. feat. Kazuki's sexist comment about mothers that are incapable of hating their own children. Misaki (Miri's mom) resents her daughter for destroying her dreams, Kazuki says that raising a kid is supposed to come naturally to a mother. He changes his tune later when he sees how difficult it is raising Miri & how Misaki genuinely tried until she was disappointed and traumatized by her own life & the arrival of an unwanted child.
the concept of fatherhood as introduced by Miri: "A papa is someone who will save you from trouble!". Whereas the fathers through the rest of the cast can be either described as "tormenters", "absent" or "sir"s.
good character building for almost all the characters
Bad Guy Ogino gets killed in a very poetic way, *mwah*
speaking of: creepy assassin Ogino keeps a notebook of people he's killed & what their last words were. Basically the teenage girl journaling experience but for deranged assassins
all in all you'll fall in love with the characters and laugh and cry until you dehydrate yourself
Send me another ask if you end up watching it & tell me what you think! :D
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peachymilkandcream · 3 months
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My Husband, My Monster|Part 8|William Afton x Wife!Reader
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(A/N: Just keep in mind the content warnings with these next chapters considering we're going into the gory parts with the murders and such. Hope you enjoy and comment to be added to the taglist!)
WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc.
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William always hated funerals, a bunch of thoughtless people offering condolences as if they were so distraught. He knew that they'd go home and act like nothing had happen. Like he hadn't just lost his youngest child.
He couldn't even look at Henry, deep down he believed it was all his fault. If it wasn't for his damn machines then his son would still be alive. Henry always bragged about being the expert, he should have worked out all the kinks to make sure it was safe for any situation. The smug bastard had the balls to stand there offering his sympathies when his perfectly healthy daughter seemed bored of the whole affair. She wasn't that much older than Evan, life was cheap to a young mind like that. Stupid brat.
Michael had been beyond comfort, he blamed himself for his brother's death. And deep down, William put a portion of the blame on his as well. If he had been well behaved enough to see the dangers of jostling the springlocks like that then none of this would have happened.
Which brought him to his wife. The responsibility of discipline was supposed to be on her shoulders, and she had failed him, plus she had the nerve to be upset about all of this as if it wasn't her to blame as well. She just had to speak with him and leave the children alone. That whining attitude would be stifled when the funeral was over, it was far too annoying to allow.
As for him, he was the only one above blame. He hadn't done anything wrong and was the one who paid the ultimate price. He had lost his child and now he had to deal with all of their smiling faces. Compensation should be made for this disgusting display made by friends and family. In fact he was sure he'd get compensation for it. Everyone would pay for the hell they put him through today, in their own way.
"William are you coming?" His wife gently touched his arm, apparently he had been spacing out so long the funeral was over, all of their "guests" determined to invade their house for promises of free food and gossip.
"No. I'm going out."
"Please don't do this..." She whispers softly.
"Unless you want me to go off on all of our friends then let me go clear my head."
She hesitates, torn between her husband's worrisome behavior and the thoughts of her guests. Finally she sighs, giving up. "Alright William, I'll see you at home."
As William starts walking, he catches a glimpse of Henry and little Charlie returning to their car. He meets William's eyes and offers a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry William, there's a party going on at the Pizzeria and apparently one of the animatronics is acting up. I have to go."
He can only nod numbly, unsure of what he would say to him.
"Hey, I'm sorry about Evan. He was a good kid."
William just nods again, wanting the conversation to be over.
Henry pats him on the shoulder one more time before heading off, a cloud of dust fanning out from under his tires.
William watches him go before continuing to walk. His wife and son could take the car home, the walk was welcome at this point.
Plus the local bar was within walking distance of anywhere.
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At around ten they cut him off. Fair enough, he had been there since the early afternoon, plus their visitors were probably through judging his wife and home. Although the restlessness still filled him. Something he couldn't shake no matter what he did. Maybe the walk back would work better this time with alcohol in his system.
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His feet took him unknowingly back to his own business. It seemed he was such a workaholic his base instincts were to return here. Even though following the accident Fredbear's closed for good, he still had the Pizzeria to poor all of his hopes and dreams into.
The rain had since started, soaking his clothes thoroughly, but his head was so full it was like he didn't even notice.
As he got closer he heard the laughter coming from within. They did more business on Friday nights and weekends than the rest of the week so the booked party was in full swing. He watched through the window for a moment or two before turning back into the alleyway, stopping when his eyes caught sight of the child crying against the staff entrance.
Charlotte Emily. Left in the rain because she accidentally got locked out of the back entrance. How dare she cry? What did she have to weep about? A minor inconvenience? And what about her father. Why did a good father like William lose his child when a neglectful one like Henry still had his child alive. None of it was fair. That's all William cared about in the end, not about what was right but what was fair. Henry took everything from him, why shouldn't he return the favor?
Before he knew it his tie was secured in a vice-like grip between his two fists. His hands were shaking, his head buzzing, his stomach in knots from adrenaline and booze.
Slowly he snuck up behind the crying child, hesitating only a moment before wrapping the fabric around her neck. She screamed, but only for a moment as he squeezed tighter and tighter. She fought and struggled but a young girl was no match for a grown man. Soon, her body convulsed and then went limp, her tears drying on her cheeks since her eyes could no longer cry. It was done.
He was a murderer.
The thought should have brought him instant disgust, but instead it brought him a sense of pride. That is, if he could get away with it. He wasn't mentally capable of disposing of the body due to his intoxicated condition, he would most likely slip up. Best to hide the body in the alley and come back tomorrow. Then he would clean up.
That decision taken care of, William decided his best course of action was just to return home for now and sober up.
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By the time he returned the house was dark. Wife and child in bed, he realized maybe he had been a little too harsh on them. After all, unlike him they didn't have a place to vent their grief, no matter how deserving they were of it he couldn't treat them the same way he did Henry. They were his life, his everything. What they needed instead of lessons was for William to step in and fix everything. His problem was his aggression because he never had a place to put it aside from his family. Right now he was on such a high a violent outburst was the furthest thing from his mind. He just needed to fix his family's problems.
Starting with his wife.
The real reason she was grieving was because her son was gone. A void of maternal influence. Therefore the solution was clear. He would give her a replacement child and then everything would be fixed. Recently their intimate life had been a little too rough with his stress piling up, if he was passionate like he was back then her grief would be forgotten. How did she end up with a man so understanding and clever?
His wife was propped up on the bed reading, of course she wasn't asleep, his sweet wife would never go to bed without him.
"You're home." Relief was evident in her voice.
"Yes I'm home." He slowly approaches, taking off his soaked through shirt. "I've been thinking, and I think I know how to help you with your grief."
"I-what? Oh, thank you-" Naturally she was confused.
"It's alright." His face was lit up with a smile, and while it was off-putting it was nice to see him happy. "My plan to help you through this is so simple and easy."
She sits up in anticipation. "Well go ahead, tell me William."
His smile fades completely, staring her right in the eyes. "We have another child."
She takes a moment, stunned by his suggestion before her eyebrows knit together in anger and horror. "We have another child?! William, Evan is bared cold in the ground and you're suggestion we just replace him?!"
"Exactly. It'll make you feel better."
"You're insane, he's our son and you just want to make him go away?" She starts to pull back the covers. "I'm sleeping on the couch."
He pushes the covers back and holds her there. "Yes, he's gone! Our child is dead, and you know what, wife? You're going to give me another one." Before she can protest William climbs on top of her, this was all to make his family better. He had to make them better. Now they might hate him, but soon they would thank him. Tomorrow they would love him.
Tomorrow was another day.
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Taglist:
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@fandomreader
@n3r0-1417
@2pacl0ve
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frogletscribe · 3 months
Text
I finished the main story of A:FoP last night and I have more thoughts but don't want to spoil anything for anyone who is not there yet so im putting them under the cut again lol. Also a lot of this gets into like general Avatar lore things and not always specifically A:FoP. I just have a lot of thoughts and not a lot of people to talk to about it lmao.
Warning: this is very long, i am apologizing now if you choose to read the whole thing.
Spoilers for Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora under the cut
TEYLAN oh my god my boy. He scared me so bad when he showed up again but I'm so glad he had a hand in stopping Mercer. It felt like such a moment of growth for him finaly setting himself free of his abuser. Poor guy feels so guilty about everything that happened, and I'm very nervous about whenever Nor comes back in future DLC stuff because he still doesn't know that Teylan 'betrayed' them. Especially after everything with Alma.
Speaking of Alma, I have somewhat mixed feelings about her story? Obviously the Sarentu have every right to be pissed at her, I am pissed at her, she used them (and honestly is still using them) to ease her own guilt. What bothers me is the "You will never be one of us" rhetoric? Mostly because it makes me think of Jake and the Sully kids (Lo'ak and Kiri specifically) who all are/look more like Avatars rather than Na'vi. It makes me wonder how the Sarentu would react to them? The situations are very different, Jake gave up almost everything that made him human to live as a Na'vi where Alma has stayed human, albeit unhealthily attached to her Avatar form. Jake worked to earn his place with the Na'vi where Alma is trying to take it from this group of children she has been lying to from the very start.
But more than that, her still talking as if she was a part of their family at the end made me so mad. I don't think Nor had a good reaction to her by any means, stabbing her was definitely not good, and it leaves all of the other humans scared of him but like,,, i'm on his side tbh. His anger is justified, he's just not coping with it in healthy ways. Like at least the Sarentu did shut her down, Alma is not a part of their family by the end, but giving her the grace they did at the end i think was more than she deserved. Idk, I am glad that they are able to be the bigger persons (pun not intended lol) and move forward, I'm just not a fan of forgiving a person who was partially responsible for the murder of your entire family?
Back to Nor. He is such an interesting character to have next to Ri'nela and So'lek. His anger is palpable and it has nowhere to go. He refuses to connect to Eywa again because he feels he has been poisoned by TAP and humans as a whole and it colors everything he does. He copes with his pain by ignoring it until it becomes too much and he snaps.
And then there is Ri'nela, who is also clearly hurt by everything that comes to light about the Sarentu and TAP, but she is so much more reserved about it. She has a really lovely audio log about how she feels the need to set her own emotions aside so she can take care of others and their emotions. You can really tell how much pressure she puts on herself to be that emotional stability for others. Still she works through it and at the very least tries to talk with the Protag about it in a much more healthy way than Nor does.
Compare that to So'lek, who is similarly reserved in is emotions to Ri'nela, but less to protect others and more to protect himself. Hopefully we will get a little more insight into his character with the comics coming out, but So'lek is i think very similar to Nor in a lot of ways. His clan was wiped out in the Great War, and he was the only survivor to not assimilate into another clan, and we can assume, i think, that those other survivors were most likely children and other non-warriors, either too old or unable to fight for whatever reason. He is entirely alone by choice, and he is angry, but he keeps it together.
So'lek sees the bigger picture, he knows that the resistance is the one other group that's actually fighting back (Besides Jake and the Omatikaya), even if its entirely a group of humans, who we can assume he is not terribly fond of in general. He makes a point of saying the RDA is what needs to be removed from Pandora, not humans. He knows how to separate his allies instead of generalizing 'all humans bad', something Nor is implied to struggle with at least a little. That is especially clear when So'lek calls Nor out after he stabs Alma. But that still doesn't negate how angry So'lek is and is capable of being. He says it after HQ is attacked, he is trying not to follow Nor and his rage. He knows that if he has that conversation with Nor, it will be very easy for him to let his rage consume him as well.
Given that Nor is pretty much gone from the game after he stabs Alma, I'm hoping that in the upcoming DLC we get to find him? Maybe he is being an angry loner out on the woods or if he has found other missing TAP students? There are 4 mentioned in game, either by name (Ri'nela asks where two of them, Telisi and Yefti, are at the very start of the game, and 2 more are mentioned in TAP School Records, Okni and Yuayt) Of course they could all have died while the main four were in cryosleep, 15 years have passed and if they werent with that group when Alma saved them, theres no telling what exactly has happened to them. I just think it could be cool for them to pop up and join back up with the Sarentu.
On, like, an entirely different note, the joy it gives me that there are multiple nonbinary characters! Ahh!!! I think right now the only ones are Tsu'kiri from the Aranahe and Okul from the Kame'tire, at least that I have found, but the way that they are handled, I really really love. They are both just people! Existing in the world! As a nonbinary person myself i also really appreciate the game using they/them for the protagonist and letting you flavor your character however you want so that you aren't locked into male/female like so many games tend to do.
Getting into less A:FoP specific and more general lore territory: Something else I found really interesting while digging around on the wiki is that Mokasa is not the Olo'eyktan? He is listed as Anufi's chief advisor, which made him a sort of stand in Olo'eyktan while she was exiling herself, but he isn't actually the Olo'eyktan the way Ka'nat and Nesim are for their respective clans. Even on the wiki, the Olo'eyktan for the Kame'tire is labeled as Unknown. At most we get Okul being named ? Tsakarem? Thats at least what I took from it. But it makes me curious about the other clans and their leadership (also just very curious about them in general lol). There are 16 clans that we know of (that are all still canon) but we really have only really in depth explored 6 of them in the whole series so far. (Just counting the movies and A:FoP right now because I do not have access to the comics or I think the like one? other games that is still canon) Idk im interested in more Olo'eyktan/Tsahik dynamics beyond just mated pairs like we have seen. Like the Zeswa sisters is really cool to me, or father/daughter dynamic with Ka'nat and Etuwa. Obviously, Jake, and later Tarsem, are not mated to Mo'at but there was the intention of Neytiri eventually taking over as Tsahik before the Sully's left, which would have continued the married couple leaders dynamic that we have been seeing.
We also know that Olo'eyktan don't always have to be men (See Nesim for the Zeswa and Ikneyi from the Tayrangi clan that we see in the first film), so then are there examples of male Tsahik somewhere? Okul being presumably named Tsakarem as a nonbinary/gender non-conforming character would imply that on some level, but im curious if we will ever see examples of it.
And finally, somebody has got to let me smooch the characters in this game PLEASE.
If you actually read all that kudos to you and thank you for indulging my screaming.
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uninformedartist · 8 months
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I don't know if you have ever talked about this situation yet but I wanted to know your thoughts about this because it's gotten worse and I've seen fans still try and compare both Lackadaisy and Helluva..now, let me just say that I do agree that the Lackadaisy Team should discuss this situation and see what's going on, especially when it's a member of the team and they should be held accountable. But it's VERY hypocritical for the HB/HH attacks the Lackadaisy fandom and say they're not gonna support it because of ONE bad apple and say it's a toxic fanbase, but they'll continue to support Viv and the Spindlehorse team even though they have been called out, especially Viv, for acting unprofessional and whining and complaining and just acting like man children whenever HB gets criticism (even when it's out of love and respect and wanting to see it improve) and there's also so much proof of Viv being a horrible person, and yet fans continue to brush it off and see it as nothing and attack the ones who were hurt and mistreated behind the scenes and the fans just see Viv as this "Perfect Angel Who Could Do No Wrong 😇" but when it comes to others, especially with this Lackadaisy Vs HB drama that's been going on, some fans have admitted they just not support it. It's just hypocritical to me especially since as I said, Viv has been called out for being horrible and yet fans continue to kiss her feet and harass and bully anybody who dares to criticize and call her out and have even went as far as Doxxing just because not everyone likes their little demon show. I honestly feel like the fans don't actually care if anyone's been mistreated and hurt by Viv, as long as they get their demon show that's all that matters to them..they don't care or give shit about people being abused and it's just so damn sad, especially when a lot of these fans are grown adults who should know better and be the better people. :(
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I haven't talked about this situation specifically but mentioned it other posts briefly. Zebirdbrain was found to be Transphobic from the tweets they liked/ inteacted with.
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Its good they were called and the lackadaisy team should address this issue it is very serious. Its also true what you say very true it is hypothetical that the helluva fanbase is so heavy on calling out Birdbrain but ignore Viv's discord conversations and Ken's call out post with a passion all that show blatant Transphobia, missgendering and ace-phobia.
Evidence:
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Excerpts from Ken's call out post:
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The fans Don't care and Don't want to care. They remain in this blissful ignorant mindset and have this self righteous attitude towards anyone that speaks out against Viv. They just want their demon show even if its at the cost of others. They also don't care about the problematic spindlehorse staff members but care so much about the lackadaisy problematic staff. Again good for calling birdbrain out just don't be a hypocrite and pick and choose who you call out, if they problematic they problematic call that shit out. Im referring to Raphielle and nicolebsicrete on the spindlehorse staff. Raphielle has a drawn numerous r*pe artworks of Angel dust, Vox and Val and has a r*pe ship between the.
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And nicolebsicrete likes problematic fictional ships and stories they are an active rick and morty shipper (this is their old bio description, if you look now it has changed but still stands)
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And Viv interactions A LOT with them so there is no way Viv doesn't know they're problematic, Raphielle is very explicit on his shipping and posts aswell well as nicolebsicrete.
At the end of they day the hypocrisy is strong even if they're grown adults (supposedly) in Viv's fanbase, there is a level of expected responsibility on them to call out Viv and staff on their bull. But the fanbase is not that and are quick to call out (justifiably so) a problematic lackadaisy staff and other people but ignores all evidence of Viv and staff doing exactly the same this and worse but its all praise, dismissal on any evidence and give so much support for Viv and problematic spindlehorse staff.
Link to Ken's post:
https://www.docdroid.net/zyvFyCb/kens-experience-pdf
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asagi-red-wolf · 11 months
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Headcanon: Stolas + Social Cues
Before I start, this is meant to be more of a HEADCANON than a THEORY- please don’t come into my inbox or onto this post to debunk it, I sincerely do not care, there are 100% completely valid reads on Stolas and concepts like willfull ignorance and even pushing his own agenda out of entitlement- I won’t argue with those reads, so please don’t argue with mine, it’s just my personal opinion as an autistic person with trouble reading social cues myself
The TL;DR is: I think most of Stolas’s Issues with how he interacts with people (primarily Blitz and Octavia, as those are his two most frequent, positive- atleast from Stolas’s side- interactions) is more to do with an inability to understand social cues than anything else
Part 1: Childhood Neglect
Children have to be around, ya' know, people, from a young age to develop social skills- and a big part of those social skills is the ability to read people, but we know for a fact that for the first ten years of his life, Stolas had never interacted with other children and had very scarce interaction with other adults, I don't think that changed until he was in his teens and was forced to be around Stella, but even if I'm wrong, those first ten years kinda sealed his fate anyway because most primary social skills (like reading people) are learned before the age of five- or atleast the primary functions are, nuance obviously comes later, so by the age of ten, Stolas was completely incapable of learning this skill without actively being taught, and we know he sure as hell didn't have that, so he's kinda just.... cooked....
Making matters much, much worse- what interactions he did have in childhood were all either cold, cruel, or both.. with one notable exception we’ll get to later
The butler seemed to be very “professional”...
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...Yeah I’m not exactly getting a huge range of emotions from this fella to be honest....
Then you have Paimon, who seems to be mostly in a jovial state when he visits Stolas..... but that peppy mood is punctuated by cruelty, IE: “cease your bitch crying”, that wasn’t really said in anger- he didn’t seem frustrated or pissed off, just mildly annoyed but mostly still in a good mood, this would be a good example of mixed messages: Actions that contradict words or vice versa, for any child it might be hard to understand the idea of someone speaking to them calmly and within a relatively good mood but saying something mean and hurtfull, but to a child who doesn’t have the necessary skills to understand social cues, this becomes it’s own strange normal
Next is Stella, who I personally feel probably didn’t meet Stolas until they were teenagers, but it doesn’t really matter because either way, I don’t think it would have changed much- she’s cold, cruel, and vile from the beginning, Stolas is a very sensitive person with a very gentle disposition, no matter if he met her when he was ten or when he was sixteen, I think it’d be a shock to his system either way, and having to come to terms with the fact that this is the type of person who he’s going to have to have a marriage with had to have taken a big emotional toll, and it’s setting the stage VERY early in conditioning him into a victimized mindset- there is zero opportunity for him to get away from this abusive situation, all he can do is learn how to minimize the pain that comes out of it, and that in and of it’s self leads to having a very..... difficult time learning how to read people, on the good side of things, yes, you learn quickly how to avoid setting off your abuser (...unless ofcourse the abuser is emotionally sporadic) and can learn quickly how to tell when things are about to go from generally calm to “head for cover”.... but it also creates a skewed perception- ESPECIALLY for people who lack relationship experience- for reading people in future relationships, making one either overly cautious.... or attracted to red flags- wich is very clearly Stolas’s case (don’t think I didn’t notice the text that invited Blitz to “be mean to him” in what was VERY clearly an attempt at mediating a sour situation, this is not kink, this is absolutely and 100% a victimized person trying a Fawn Response to get out of more severe consequences- in alot of cases, people in abusive situations would rather suffer a shorter instance of having anger taken out on them (IE: being slapped in the face, screamed at, or berated) than to have their abuser (or anyone in their life for that matter) stay mad at them for an extended period of time (and to be VERY clear, before anyone comes for me, I’m not saying that Blitz is abusing Stolas by any stretch of the imagination, although I will touch on the language used again later, but Stolas’s ONLY mindset in a romantic relationship was specifically curated to be a victimized one, it is the ONLY guidepost he has, and he WILL, by nature, fall into the patterns he developed with Stella with anyone else he has a relationship with until that trauma is dealt with properly and he learns how to have other kinds of interactions with people and how to have a healthy relationship)
And that brings us to the only other childhood interaction that we know of- Blitz: ...And Blitz is confusing even for people who do have social experience, not as much when he was a kid, but still to some small degree, because Blitz, by nature, is rude, crass, and insulting, that can make it really hard to tell if he genuinely likes you or not- take Moxxie for instance, who we know he considers to be part of his family, who he VERY clearly has fondness and affection for (besides all the threeway comments, “Truth Seekers” makes this clear enough).... but he also is often at the butt of Blitz’s jokes, comments, and insults, for no apparent reason at that (we don’t see him treating Millie that way, although, that doesn’t mean that he’s never sharp or rude with her, he just seems to reserve the most of it for Moxxie) I think even people who have a good understanding of social cues would find him hard to figure out, so you take Stolas- who at this point has never had a truly positive interaction with literally anyone to our knowledge- suddenly being treated with atleast some kind of affection and comradary, and he’s just going to assume that ok, yes, this must be how people interact with eachother- he’s never been taught or shown any differently, his father actually has a very similar way of treating him to how Blitz does- he seems to be in a fine mood, isn’t shouting or displaying anger, but he’s casually insulting Stolas and belittling him, so when Stolas’s first ever freind says things like “Your books are boring”, and then proceeds to offer to play a game with him, Stolas’s veiws on this are probably going to skew alot less towards “That was rude” and alot more towards “Oh, this is just how people treat eachother” or at the very least “This is just how people treat me”- and this seems like such small potatoes but the sheer lack of any other interactions Stolas has with people makes every single word important to him and how he develops social skills- and when he’s already leaning into a victimized mindset, this is only going to help it along it’s path
Part 2: The Love Bomb
So Stolas, we can probably deduce, doesn’t have alot of luck with meeting people in adulthood who are, you know, decent to him, if the fact that he’s sidelined at his own party gives any indication, I feel like it’s VERY safe to assume- if not just stating an explicit fact- that Stolas hasn’t had any new positive interactions since that initial playdate with Blitz
So imagine if you will, this scenario:
Blitz is the first person to show Stolas not just any form of freindship, but any form of positive attention at all (excluding Via but we’ll get there), then after over a decade of this still being true, he sneaks into Stolas’s house and within ten minutes of seeing Stolas again, indicates VERY clearly that he wants to sleep with Stolas- who I guarantee, despite living in the Lust ring, does not have any grasp on the concept that wanting to sleep with someone does not automatically mean you have feelings for them, as having feelings for someone- or atleast liking them- seems to be a vital part of Stolas’s own attraction to people and ability to want to sleep with them (we know he doesn’t want to sleep with Stella, per the fact that she proudly admits to essentially assaulting him, and I’m not convinced that his lack of interest in her is entirely due to his sexuality- I personally headcanon that he’s gay, but that isn’t explicitly stated to be true anywhere, and he could easily be bi, pan, or even on the ace spectrum- wich I would not be remotely surprised about, by the way, as a demi person myself- and even if he IS gay, that doesn’t mean he’s automatically incapable of sleeping with a woman or having some enthusiasm to do so- ask a small crowd of gay men and I’ll bet anything that atleast one or two have had genuinely positive sexual interactions with women, especially if they were closeted for an extended period of time)- then after several rounds of sex and Blitz sleeping over, their next interaction is Stolas offering a monthly arrangement and Blitz, albeit with a lukewarm response that can be rightfully chalked up to him trying to avoid being murdered- agrees to it- wouldn’t your perception, until this point, be largely that Blitz still has some level of affinity for Stolas? If this is the only perspective we saw, it makes loads of sense
But this is where things start getting murky
After Blitz’s initial, brisk, agreement, interactions from Blitz’s end are LARGELY mixed in messaging- he’s sharp, cold, and often cruel with the way he speaks to Stolas, but he continues to come over and keep their arrangement anyway, at times initiating himself
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or saying that he doesn’t mind when their monthly arrangement comes early
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The show makes it VERY fucking clear that besides being extremely kinky (and having kinks that usually seem to line up with eachother quite well) they’re also switches-
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(Credit)
Meaning that Blitz doesn’t just do all the giving, he also allows Stolas to top- this is clearly not just about Blitz getting to tie up a royal and feel empowered for once, and it clearly is involving more attention than just a quick bang for the book and running (and for context, the first screencap in this set is meant to indicate that Stolas topping is something Blitz is familiar enough with as a concept that he has to tell Stolas “no” in the beginning of their trip, I don’t think he’d be that cautious if Stolas had exclusively bottomed until this point)
At the same time Blitz also has many times (like the above in Loo Loo Land) when he makes it clear that he doesn’t want to engage in anything sexual, and Stolas has always respected that to atleast a physical degree (even if he often dirty talks and comes onto Blitz when Blitz clearly wishes he wouldn’t, he atleast knows not to do anything handsy when Blitz says “no”, wich is a low bar to step over but still)
But the problem is that Blitz’s attitude and how he responds to Stolas- outside of very clear “yes”es and very clear “no”s- is nearly always hostile, it’s only when Blitz is in a particularly good mood that he seems to be more mild in how he treats Stolas- and that’s often after sex, from what we’ve seen, or after Stolas has done something for Blitz (IE: saving him and I.M.P. in Truth Seekers), Blitz has “resting bitch attitude” to the extreme, his default state is a harsh disposition, and he’s also no stranger to making unwanted sexual advances himself (IE: rather constantly with the M&Ms) and/or being harsh with someone only to then turn around and give enthusiastic consent to sleep with them (IE: Chazz), it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he’s sent several of these mixed messages Stolas’s way on top of the ones we know he’s sending
It’s right back to the beginning of Stolas’s social life with Paimon: His demeanor says one thing but his words say another, when someone is being an asshole but doing it with a smile, are they actually being an asshole or are they just teasing? Some people can’t tell as easily- if at all
Making things worse, until Ozzie’s, there is never a moment when things clearly go on the ice with Blitz, Stolas’s progression of events goes from Blitz being openly affectionate straight into him being cold and hostile, there’s no break in between where Stolas would be able to stop and question if something went wrong, the transition is pretty seamless, because I highly doubt that he knew from the beginning Blitz’s initial seduction of him was disingenuous, Stolas was far too caught off guard for his enthusiasm to be planned- if we want to talk “Stolas Sings” lyrics, I would be willing to bet that that he didn’t start recognizing the “comfortable lie” until after he set up the deal with the book- wich may even be what he’s referring to in the first place, we assume that it’s about Blitz’s affection, but maybe it’s because he knows that he deceived Blitz into trying to force Blitz to spend time with him
The point of this section is simple: Blitz is an emotionally complicated person, and someone who has very little relationship experience isn’t going to have an easy time figuring those emotions out
Part 3: Octavia
For a quick break from the Stolitz Shit Show however, this section is pretty simple- Stolas can’t read Octavia either
The conversation about Loo Loo Land comes up alot, and although I do agree that some of his insistence on Loo Loo Land- despite her CLEAR disinterest in it- comes from the very classic parental problem of wanting to relive something from your child’s early years that made them happy- that now, ofcourse, they find too childish to enjoy- I also feel like he genuinely didn’t know exactly how disinterested in Loo Loo Land she was, I think in some ways he’s sort of written off her general demeanor as “She’s being a teenager”- that, or has internalized it
In many ways, Octavia is both the outlier to the pattern of people around him, and also falling exactly in step with the pattern as well
On the one hand she was the only person to ever show him consistent, enthusiastic, unconditional love and affection, this makes her the outlier to all of his other relationships, he may or may not chalk this up to a father/daughter bond, though I tend to believe he does given the emphasis he tries to place on being a doting dad, but it doesn’t really matter why- she just is
Or.... was.....
Because as of recent, I would assume since puberty hit- although we technically don’t know this for a fact- Octavia has slipped into the same disinterest of having Stolas around as everyone else around him- atleast on the surface
Like Paimon, Stella, and later Blitz, she tends to be cold to him, at times hurtfull (even though she very obviously doesn’t mean to be; IE: the band she’s listening to being called “Fuck You Dad” and making a point of telling him that), and rarely shows him any truly positive interactions (with Star Seekers being one of those noted exceptions) Stolas could group this in with the mentality that this is just how everyone treats him, but given how long he had Octavia’s very enthusiastic and unconditional joy at being around him, I tend to believe that he’s just chalking it up to her being a teenager- and, fair, that IS actually alot to do with it, so I’m willing to bet that he tends to see her.... less than thrilled attitude through a sort of lens that keeps that in mind, like rose colored glasses almost, keeping himself aware that she’s a teenager and is going to be grumpier than she used to be, but she has no reason not to still love him ....right?
The problem with that, obviously, is that it waters down everything she says and does, it allows him to- intentionally or unintentionally- read her cold response as more of a lukewarm response, essentially turning a “no” more into a “maybe”- wich obviously leads to quite alot of misunderstandings and Stolas trying to push things that he shouldn’t be pushing under the beleif that she still enjoys them, but just is in Grumpy Teenager Mode and isn’t going to express that enjoyment as openly as she used to
This doesn’t so much fit in with his usual trouble reading people as it is it’s own thing, but I think they fit together to create a more cohesive understanding of why exactly he has such a hard time understanding what seem to us to be very clear emotional indicators
Part 4: Conclusion
The thing is, we know Stolas is incredibly smart, so this isn’t just empty-headedness, and it isn’t always something that works in his benefit- IE: when he’s initially kidnapped by Striker and doesn’t seem to realize he’s really in any danger until Striker actually verbally indicates that he is-
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(granted it was probably the evil laugh but still)
The fact that he didn’t process that he was really in any danger until this moment could come from him just depending on Blitz to save him until now.... but that doesn’t really work, as at his “Oh shit” moment, he still believes Blitz is on his way to save him- it took Striker CLEARLY indicating that he was confident in his ability to kill Stolas to convince Stolas that he may have a point, despite the fact that he’s been tied up with angelic rope and should have gleamed that much sooner
From my own experience as an autistic person, reading people is a nightmare, and I WAS socialized well and taught very good social skills from a mother who’s naturally very good at socializing, but I still can’t tell half the time when someone is joking with me, even if it’s clear to other people, still ask people- completely out of the blue to them- if they’re angry with me because I can’t tell the difference between someone being quiet and someone being mad, still have to outright ask half the time if someone is being sarcastic or literal, and even as of my early 20s, was so sure that (what I see NOW to be) a very clearly scripted interveiw with an actor was serious that I made a cringey Tumblr post begging people to let him sleep because I thought he was being woken up by his castmates every five minutes
I think this is one of those things neurotypical people often take for granted, but for austies and other neurodivergent people (or people like Stolas who suffered severe emotional neglect and abuse and didn’t exactly develop the way he should have) reading basic social cues can sometimes be like trying to put together a Rubiks Cube, and when you compound that issue with people who- for one reason or another, be it teenage angst or a snarky disposition or parental neglect- aren’t all that clear with their signals to begin with, you just end up with someone who’s pretty fucking confused all the time about their emotional place with the people around them
Again, there are other totally valid reads on this situation out there, this is just my own personal headcanon but then I headcanon both Blitz and Stolas as being autistic anyway because honestly have you met them?
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gasolinerainbowpuddles · 10 months
Text
𝑭𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑳 𝑾𝑶𝑴𝑨𝑵 ║ Chapter 1 - Hungry Dogs Are Never Loyal
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| FERAL WOMAN | series masterlist | main masterlist | | PAIRING(s): Joel Miller x fem!OC/reader | RATING: explicit material | 18+ | WORD COUNT: 7.8k | CHAPTER WARNINGS: explicit depictions or allusions to violence, physical and mental abuse, captivity, SA, trauma, etc. | CHAPTER SUMMARY: Sam and his men are out on a scouting mission, looking for the next targets in their slave trade enterprise. You are left behind to wait for their return, but you scramble to form a plan of action when a different group makes it back to the cabin before Sam and his men.
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║PREVIOUS ║⋄── •✧• ──⋄║ NEXT ║
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Please read with caution if you have difficulties with works concerning: SA, physical violence, torture, captivity, trauma, and similar topics. They are discussed throughout the series, but all highly sensitive portions WILL BE MARKED with my sensitive material banner if you wish to skip the more challenging portions. The sensitive material banner looks like this:
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“If you walked faster you wouldn’t be in the snow for so long.” Samuel, or Sam as he insisted to be called, always reprimanded you for these sorts of things despite the fact that you were usually in these kinds of undesirable situations because of him.
“My ankles hurt, Sam. I’m really sore,” you muttered. You didn’t dare have your eyes cast anywhere but downward. You didn’t want to risk him picking up on your frustration with him. He sighed heavily and pulled you tighter against him with what you assumed he considered a consoling hold.
“I know. I’m sorry for that.” His voice had a stern edge, but it was soft enough you knew he meant it. It was always like this with Sam. Ever since he and his nomadic slaver group had abducted you nearly two winters ago after killing off most of your small group, he had pretty much immediately made you his special pet.
It had spared you the brutal torment of just being a “regular trade,” but you could never forget the faces of the young women and children from your former group as they were beaten, tortured, and sold off for labor or worse. You had seen so many women and children come and go, always worse off after having been acquainted with Sam and his men.
At first, you resisted and fought. You fought so hard to not end up like others in your group.  But you quickly learned that leaning into the part of playing Sam’s sweet little pet made your life a whole lot easier. So, that’s what you did.
You learned to stop speaking unless spoken to. You learned to shut your brain off every time he approached you with that look in his eye. You learned to drop your gaze in the presence of the men so as to not agitate anyone.
It was a bizarre relationship you had with Sam. He was your captor, but he was also your rescuer. Because he had claimed you as his, you were understood to be off limits to the others. It also meant you weren’t sold off to the highest bidder, something Sam often liked to remind you of.
“You would have made us a pretty penny, Doll.” It was his deranged way of expressing just how valuable you were to him. “I just couldn’t let you go, though. Had to keep you for myself.” To him, it was a sappy compliment. It made you want to throw up every time he mentioned it.
You knew things could be much worse. You were certain of that, having seen the fate of so many others for yourself. Sam had a lot of faults, but you much preferred playing into his ego than finding yourself at the mercy of someone else. Mercy was a rarity these days. Sam wasn’t as cruel as he could have been, as cruel as you might have expected from someone who was at the helm of a prolific human trafficking and trade enterprise. Still, he had no regard for what your wishes or desires ultimately were. Whatever he wanted took priority, and there were many times where your priorities not aligning with his made him lash out against you and be extra rough as punishment, only to apologize and try to make it up to you in ways that never panned out. You knew in some sick, twisted way, he really did care for you. You had learned to be tolerant of him just for the fact alone that it was only at his discretion that you had been spared more vile horrors than what you had already endured.
“I’ll feed you real good tonight. Promise,” he chuckled, tugging you close to him. He sometimes got amused like this whenever you were “crabby” as he liked to put it. Your feet were practically dragging against the ground, but he didn’t seem to notice or care.
“Can I at least have a blanket or something?” you hedged. He looked down at you with an expression that said you should already know the answer to that question.
“If you’re too comfortable you won’t be able to think about how you could have made better choices last night, Doll,” he explained, as if he regretfully had to hand down discipline for your bad behavior.
You held back a bitter laugh. Comfortable? You eyed the timeworn shed you were quickly approaching, knowing it would be your detention space for god knows how long. Nothing about your life was comfortable; it was just a series of things that weren’t as bad and things that were worse.
“I promise I will reflect on my bad behavior, Sam. I’m so sorry.” You strained your voice to persuasively deliver your fake remorse. It worked. Of course it worked. You had spent so long tuning into every minute facet of Sam and what made him nicer to you and using it to your advantage.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Doll. You don’t know any better sometimes, I think,” he sighed as if he were deep in thought.
You never minded when Sam was condescending to you. It was a useful angle to plead your ignorance when you found yourself in a sticky situation. He couldn’t be mad at you for very long if your poor little pet brain just didn’t know any better.
“You’re right,” you concurred, playing into his vanity. “I’m so glad I have you to help me, Sam. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” You hoped your appeals would be enough for him to maybe let you have something small to keep warm.
“I know, Doll.” It was an acknowledgement - one of undeniable fact - to what he didn’t know was your outright lie. You didn’t mean most of what you said to him or anyone else. You were reciting from the script in your head that kept you safest and out of the most trouble.
“Are you gonna be gone long?” you asked with a slight pout. You paired your clingy, naive farce with a pair of eager doe eyes. 
“Don’t make me feel guilty,” he tenderly reprimanded. A little self-indulgent smirk emerged at your put-on fawning. “I know you’ll miss me. I miss you, too. I’ll be back before you know it.”
You had hoped to glean an actual timeframe from him, but his vague answer would have to suffice. And just like that, you found yourself huddled in a dark, damp shed at the edge of the cabin property. You took a deep breath and sighed, reminding yourself that it could always be worse.
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You shivered feebly inside the locked shed. The only light came from the cracks of the doorframe, and you didn't see how it could possibly be so cold when there was hardly a way for the air to move in and out. Your breath felt stifled in the stale atmosphere, and the silence around you was almost roaring in your ears.
There was once a time when the stillness of winter made you feel calm and tranquil. Now silence is just the intermission between the last bad thing that happened and the terrifying unknown of what was to come.
You pushed the long tangles of brown hair from your face as best you could. It had been a few days of brushing with only your fingers, and it was starting to get impassable in certain sections. You twist the frayed ends between your thumb and finger in an effort to distract yourself.
You hated your hair, but in a way you didn’t think much about it because it didn’t really feel like it belonged to you anymore. Nothing about your body belonged to you. You weren’t your own to keep and control. You were Sam’s. 
Sam wanted your hair long, so your hair was long. “There’s just something about being able to grab it all in my hands,” Sam had told you once. “Gets that pretty head of yours where I want it, quicker.”
You had just sat there and listened to him when he told you, as he ran a brush through your hair so softly after he had just disrobed and forcefully violated you. You shook your head to dispel the creeping images threatening to play in your head. You refocused your attention on your current state. Sam had left you here while the group scouted a nearby settlement that was fairly sizable from what you overheard. That probably meant easy targets like women and children, but it remained to be seen how often someone left the gates and if they were a valuable trade.
It had been months of no truly good targets, and the group seemed to be getting a bit restless. Sam didn’t like to overplay his hand, so he was more cautious than most of the men had patience for. It was usually small travel groups that offered up the ripest picks, but those were fewer in number as the weather had turned. You were usually left behind during these scouting trips, and it always made you nauseous waiting for them to return. You were always terrified that this was going to be the time Sam got hurt or killed, leaving you up for grabs. The relief that washed over you when you saw his face after a trip was never an act. You were always so grateful to see your captor and abuser instead of any other alternative.
While dragging you out this morning, Sam had done his usual ordeal about how you might get a “crazy kind of idea” like shouting a warning to potential victims, scaring them off and giving up Sam and his men’s location. 
“I know sometimes you just get silly, Doll,” he said before giving you a kiss you didn’t really return but also knew better than to reject.
“I’m sorry about last night. Just don’t make any bad choices while I’m gone,” he firmly warned. He threw a sickening sweet smile your way before closing the doors and padlocking you inside.
Doll. That’s what he always called you. It was unfortunately a very fitting term of endearment from your captor because it described exactly how he saw you: his plaything, to be used and discarded as he saw fit, his prized possession to parade around to others, not an actual person. He liked to play dress up with you, feed you, decide what you were doing and when you were doing it. 
There had been many times you tried desperately to wipe from your memory where Sam drew as large a crowd of his men as he could before showing off just how fun of a plaything you were. He reveled in the fanfare he received from them as he had his way with you. He was always extra rough with you during these little shows he liked to put on.
When it was just the two of you, he wasn’t nearly as merciless. You remember when he told you once that he was sorry for being so aggressive but it was “good for morale” and “gave the guys something to look forward to.”
Another hard shiver coursed through you, and you futilely rubbed your hands against your arms. Sam knew you wouldn’t run away in this sort of weather out in the middle of nowhere. You wouldn’t make it very far even if you did manage to escape. Still, his guarantee you wouldn’t try to escape  was making sure you were very underdressed for the climate.
When he took your shoes before leaving this morning, that was just extra insurance. He liked covering all his bases, but he also liked depriving you of basic needs just so they were unmet until he decided to bestow kindness on you. If you were going to be warm again, it was going to be because Sam let you.
You sat in the dark silence of the musty shed for what seemed like hours. It was hard to tell, but it seemed like the light around the doorframe was getting dimmer. You weren’t really sure if it was the sun setting that quickly or if it was covered by a treeline or obscured some other way. You found yourself passing the time by feeling objects in the shed to see if you could guess what they were. When Sam got back and let you out of your lockup, you could see how many you had guessed correctly.
You shuffled closer to the shelving beside you and reached your hand out. You felt something smooth and hollow that got slightly brittle when you pressed into it. Maybe an old rubber hose?
You lumbered around blindly but tried not to waste too much energy and lose body heat as a result. The shirt you had on was long sleeved at least, but it was practically paper thin just like your pants. You of course were left without any undergarments. Sam liked easy access.
A scraggly, wiry object came under your fingers' inspection next. It was thin, maybe a little wider than a shoelace. It felt rough and dry when you rubbed it. Might be jute wire. Or some sort of frayed twine? You weren’t sure.
Your mind wandered as your fingers traced the shelf for anything else. A sick, selfish part of you almost wished they would bring someone back. It had been just you for the past few months, and tensions were running high, which meant you were the obvious punching bag if Sam didn’t keep a tight ship.
There was a lot of infighting, and the group overall seemed to be breaking down more and more with each passing week. Sam had a hand over his men for now, and you didn’t let yourself think about what would happen if he was ousted.
Sam did a lot of awful things to you, but he rarely hit you. It was more for the fact that he didn’t like his precious, pretty doll to look ugly, all swollen and bruised. Regardless, you were thankful for this small saving grace. His men, on the other hand, didn’t care one way or another how bad you got it.
Sam didn’t appreciate anyone messing with his property, so you were safe in that regard most of the time; however, every once in a while you would look at them the wrong way, say something they didn’t like, stay silent when you should have agreed with them, any number of insignificant things that rubbed them the wrong way. Your mind drifted to last night as you huddled closer into yourself.
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Last night Sam had been so elated to make it to the cabin after a long day of travel that he helped himself to way too much liquor and passed out after spending “quality time” with you. That thankfully hadn’t lasted long because he was too drunk to stay hard. He had fallen asleep before he remembered to secure you to the bed, although he probably would’ve just let you remain untethered for the night since this cabin was in the middle of nowhere.
In all the hustle of the crew bringing supplies in and settling down, you hadn’t had food or water since dawn, and your mouth was so dry you thought it might crack. You had managed to grab a bit of snow off a branch at one point during the ride, but it was hardly any actual water and mixed with bitter pine needles.
With Sam knocked out and the crew seemingly quieting for the night, you decided to try your luck with the food supply in the hallway. If you took a few small pieces it wouldn't be noticeable. 
But Sam would be furious to know you had eaten something without his approval. You weighed the risk of waking him if you got dressed, so you decided to just venture to the doorway naked and assess the situation from there. You silently crept from Sam’s bed into the threshold of the hallway and cursed under your breath when the food wasn’t there. 
You paused to listen. You didn’t hear any muffled talking, movement, or shifting. You listened so hard you started to hear a high, faint whistle. You shook your head, deciding it was worth trying to advance.
They must have moved the food into the kitchen while they ate. You knew they had some sort of excursion tomorrow, and you weren’t sure if you would get anything before they left. You steeled yourself and snuck down the hallway, peering around the corner towards the open living room.
Most of the men were snoring softly, hats and arms covering their faces. You couldn’t make out everyone, but you did your best to get a headcount. You could account for all but three of them as asleep or drifting off. This was as good a chance as you were going to get.
You shivered as you crept into the kitchen area, your nude body responding negatively to the drafty living space. You froze in place when a loud snore erupted from the corner of the room. Everything settled again, and you steadied your breath as you made your way to some of the plates and cups of leftover food the men hadn’t finished.
You forced yourself to not guzzle the water even though you were parched. After a few minutes you had emptied a cumulative glass and a half of water. You spied some jerky on the floor someone must have dropped. Your eyes lit up, and you crawled to retrieve it from under the edge of the cabinetry.
“Who told you you could have that?” a voice sniped as a hard boot crushed your outreached fingers against the floor. You yelped in pain and flew backwards. You had gotten overzealous at the site of decent food that you hadn’t noticed one of the three men missing from your headcount had seen and accosted you.
“OUCH!” you squawked. You scrambled backwards and ignored the abrasive pull of the floor against your bare skin. You immediately realized you probably shouldn’t have responded that way with Sam being in a drunken stupor down the hall and you alone out here completely naked.
The same heavy boot kicked your shoulder, sending you crashing into the cabinets behind you. Your head barely missed the metal hardware, which would have made you losing consciousness more likely. You couldn’t afford to be anything but alert right now if you were going to make it out of a harrowing experience. You scurried towards the hallway. 
“Sam said to eat!” you lied. Your body was now fully angled towards Sam’s bedroom. You were ready to sprint to safety, but a tight grasp on your wrist coupled with a swift knock against your ankles ensured you made it only a few feet from where you had just stood.
“Fucking liar. I always hated this bitch,” the man hissed, glancing over at the handful of men who had woken from the stir and were looking on with interest. His hold on your wrist was stinging something terrible. You had already spent most of the day in restraints, so they were already red and irritated.
“You’re a liar and a dumb bitch,” he sneered. “If you were smart you would’ve done like Mae and got yourself a ticket outta here.”
 You bristled at the mention of your friend Mae’s name, and this reaction only garnered hardy laughter from the group.
“I belong to Sam!” you exclaimed as forcefully as you could muster. “I would never leave!”
It was a lie, of course, but you needed to play the hand of being Sam’s personal pet to remind the men of the consequence to bear should they hurt you.
You could see a couple of the men in your periphery standing to get a good view of you as they started to palm themselves through their pants. One had already started to stroke himself without a hint of shame. “Make her scream for us, Oz,” the one already pleasuring himself called out. There was a hardened glint in his eye when you met his gaze, and he smirked as he tugged himself more vigorously.
You heard the slap before you felt it. A loud snap of a broad hand against your chest echoed to cheers from your audience. You cried out at the pain, and you could already feel the skin welting up under your hand that had rushed to cover yourself. 
The man who had requested your scream of pain and terror chuckled a vicious, appreciative “fffuuccckkk, YES!” He spit in his hand and continued pleasuring himself to your torment.
“Come on up, boys. If Sam ain’t awake from all this noise already, I say we got ourselves enough time for some fun,” said the man crushing his fingers into your wrist.
You yanked as hard as you could against his hold, fear taking over you as several men got up and headed towards you. The vocal man made his way up quickly and struck you hard against the face with the hand he wasn’t already using to pleasure himself. You barely had time to register the contact when another blow landed on your backside. The counterblows knocked you off your feet.
You screamed for Sam, desperate for him to wake up and call off his men. 
“Let’s see if we can’t hush her up, fellas,” one of them drawled menacingly above you. You tucked your head away, trying to shield as much as you could for as long as you could. A pair of angry hands circled your neck and crushed inward. You felt like your windpipe was going to collapse permanently.
“HEYYYYYYYY. GET OFFA HEERRRRRRRR,” a muddled yell thundered from down the hallway. Everyone stopped in their tracks, and you used the opportunity to dash out of the group. “SEN’HER BACK IN’HERR,” Sam’s drunken bellow commanded.
The men grumbled at their lost entertainment. One of them spit on you before you could make it to the hallway. You didn’t stop hobbling until you made it to Sam’s room. You slammed the door shut and locked it, for good measure.
“Wha’tr doin’ wakin’me up likethisss?” Sam slurred. 
Your mind was reeling as it began to process all the new swaths of pain on your body. The sore parts of you from tonight’s earlier interaction with Sam were still fresh but had already begun fading in sensation with all the new spots your body had just acquired.
“I-I’m so s-sorry, Sam,” you apologized shakily. You trudged towards the bed, but movement was difficult as you couldn’t put too much weight on either ankle without losing your footing entirely. Your hands cupped against your face and chest where you had received the hardest blows. 
“I was just thirsty. I haven’t had anything to eat or drink the ent–” you whimpered.
“Shuddupppp,” Sam griped, rolling over in bed. He was clearly annoyed that his sleep had been interrupted. 
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so stupid, Sam. I’m sorry,” you repeated, calmly approaching the bed. 
When you attempted to get under the covers, Sam became even more irritated at the incessant disruptions. “Nahhh. Nooo. N’sleepin’her wih’me.”
“Sam, where am I supposed to sleep?” you begged. You were freezing and now throbbing all over your body. 
“Fllloooooor,” he droned, already sounding like he was nearly asleep again . 
You didn’t bother arguing. You crawled along the ground to gather as much of the blankets tousled off the edge of the bed. You draped the small area of fabric across your chest but had no choice but to leave your legs uncovered.
You crammed the urge to cry into the back corners of your mind. The sound of sobbing would no doubt wake Sam again, and you were already in a bad enough situation. If Sam got annoyed with you enough to kick you out of the room, you were doomed.
When morning finally came, Sam was upset that you weren’t in bed with him. When he rubbed the sleep from his eyes,  he saw what the men had done to you and became irate. He had no recollection of the night prior and how he had made you sleep on the floor because he was so annoyed with you. He fretted over every mark, bruise, and cut on you. He demanded to know if they had done anything else to you. You told him no, he had woken up in time to call them off.
“Doll, you make some stupid fucking decisions,” he snarled. 
He was angry with you. Your lip started to quiver despite your best efforts to control yourself, and you had to quickly wrap it into something that would endear Sam to you.
“I thought that… that last night they were going to take me from you,” you warbled. “I belong to you, Sam. Nobody else.”
Just as you had hoped, your words eased Sam into a more harmonious disposition. “That’s right, Doll. I’m gonna have some words with the guys before we head out this morning. Nobody touches my Doll.”
You nodded emphatically. Sam allowed himself a fond smile. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t upset with your dumb choices, Doll. But I can’t help forgiving you so easy when you’re good to me. I forgive you, even if you haven’t even said thank you to me.” 
He cocked his head to the side as though he was exasperated with your neverending shenanigans before pulling you into a hug. 
“Thank you, Sam. Thank you so much,” you muttered against his chest. 
“You’re welcome, Doll. Now get dressed while I go talk to those morons. We’ve got plans today.”
It was a few moments later that you heard Sam knocking over furniture and thundering at the men for their indiscretion. You hated how much you liked hearing him stick up for you and the sick sense of security it gave you. After all, if he were actually looking out for you, last night never would have happened. In fact, you wouldn’t be held prisoner by him at all.
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So, here you sat, bruised and sore, waiting anxiously for the return of the group. You prayed it would be Sam to come get you and not anyone else. Even after his berating of the group this morning, you weren’t confident one of them wouldn’t find you locked away outside from everyone else in a nice, dark spot too good of a thing to pass up.
You shivered, but it had little to do with the cold this time. You thought of what one of them had said to you last night, about not being smart like Mae and getting out of this situation. You missed her terribly, although you didn’t begrudge her leaving you here alone. You understood, even if you wouldn’t have done it to her. At least, you’d like to think you wouldn’t have ever gotten to that point.
You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard trotting and voices nearing. It was too hard to tell which direction they had come from, but you thought it was the general area where the group had left from this morning. Your stomach bottomed out when you made out unfamiliar voices.
You shot up and shimmied yourself in between the door and one of the shelves, looking through the widest sliver of the doorframe. You spotted several passing strangers - some on horses, some on foot. They didn’t look like raiders, but they were entering the house and securing a perimeter nonetheless.
You tried to control your breathing in case the visible heat from your breath somehow puffed out of the crack and gave you away. One of the group turned and looked directly at the shed. Your mind was warping and playing tricks on you – probably due to the lack of food and water – because you could’ve sworn that man just looked right at you.
You shoved away from the door, feeling like you were suddenly out in the open. In your haste, you knocked over one of the large objects you had been trying to guess in the dark. You cursed to yourself over and over under your breath at your stupidity and prayed no one had heard you.
The approaching footsteps told you that you had indeed made enough noise to be discovered. You generated as much effort as you could to control your rapid inhales. Your actions became less measured as sheer terror began overwhelming your body. Sam was going to be furious with you if you allowed yourself to be caught before they got back. He would have to search for you and reclaim you, and he hated unnecessary work like that.
“Came from here,” a deep voice sounded through the walls of the shed. “Maria, keep  back ‘til I can clear it, sweetheart.”
You tucked yourself as far back into the corner as you could even though you knew you weren’t concealed. You felt like you had to do something. Sam might actually raise a hand to you over this sort of mistake. You closed your eyes as something heavy smashed against the padlock. The mess of hair spilling past your shoulders shrouded your face in a futile act of camouflage. The lock thudded to the ground, and you braced yourself for whatever was about to come through those doors.
You hated that you were already crying. Whoever was about to enter the shed was going to immediately see just how weak you are and how much of a fight you won’t put up. The doors opened, and it's as if someone hit a mute button. There’s a dull whistle noise but nothing else. Your eyes were screwed shut so tight you thought you might give yourself a worse headache than you already have, but you don’t care. You felt the floor moving from advancing feet. You tightened yourself into a ball as much as you could.
A muffled, rumbling sound ebbed and flowed around you. You chanced opening your eyes and saw a man crouched in front of you, only a couple of feet away. You couldn’t make out his face very well as the light from the open door flooded behind him, but he had curly hair that almost reached his shoulders. There’s maybe a small, dark mustache and a small patch on his chin. The sherpa from his denim jacket buoys his dark curls. His thick, gloved hand reached towards you, and you let out a blood-curdling scream so violent that the man instantly withdrew his hand and stepped back.
You grounded to a halt as though you were a statue. Your hollow, fixed eyes never left his as he retreated backwards from the shed. He called over his shoulder to someone, and you imagined the worst: a new ringleader coming to assess you. Your frozen state thawed slightly with the bewildering appearance of a woman.
She had a firm, downturned mouth but easy eyes. The rest of her is obscured as she entered the shed, but you heard her footsteps. Your hearing was coming back to you. 
“Are you badly hurt?” she asked slowly, keeping her distance as she crouched to your level. You shook your head no. The way she shifted told you she didn’t agree with your answer but wasn’t going to press you to change it. “Are there any other members of your group here?”
“Yes,” you lied, too quickly. “They are n-nearby. Just making a run. They’ll be back. And-And very soon! And when they get back I-I wouldn’t be here if I were you.”
You tried to sound as confident and intimidating as possible, but your voice crackled from the shriek you had just let out. The woman nodded, but it was obvious she wasn’t buying your claim.
“And why aren’t you with them?” she wondered. The control in her voice made you feel calmer in some odd way. It was authoritative and soothing in equal measure. “Punishment,” you croaked. You didn’t know why you were still trying to lie when you were so bad at it. “What did you do?” she pressed, starting to call  your bluff.
“Stole rations. Stole food. Took more than my share,” you rattled off. 
It was probably the most implausible reason you could have given as you knew your borderline gaunt frame wasn’t that of someone who had more than their fair share of sustenance, but you were so hungry it was hard to think of anything other than food right now. Your mouth watered at your contrived excuse as you envisioned the jerky on the floor last night that had been just out of reach.
“So, your group sees fit to punish eating too much by …” she scanned you up and down as she paused, “beating, disrobing, and isolating the offending member?”
You gulped but nodded adamantly. The woman sighed, but it wasn’t an annoyed or angry sound. It was more resigned than anything. She adjusted her squat as she moved forward a few steps, and it was then you noticed she was pregnant. Her belly took up a good amount of space between her legs as she stooped to talk with you.
“You ever think of leaving your group? Maybe for something a little less … Old Testament?” she asked delicately. You shook your head, not understanding what she meant.
“I mean have you ever thought of leaving your group to find one that doesn’t rely on beatings and torture to ensure compliance from their members?”
You blinked slowly at the reworded, blunt statement.
“Dunno,” you rasped. 
You were starting to feel like this was some sort of trap set up by Sam to test your loyalty. Maybe this was a friendly group to yours and they were just doing him a favor to see if you would leave him if you had the chance? You sat up straighter at the thought and hugged yourself tightly again.
You glanced out the door for the first time where you could make out the man who had first come into the shed. His eyes were locked on the woman in front of you, but he glanced over to you when he felt your gaze.
His face morphed into a strange expression. It almost looked like he felt sorry for you. You must be hallucinating from the lack of food because there was no such thing as sympathy out here in this world. He dropped his gaze from yours as though he couldn’t bear to take in such a tragic site. A jolt of anger coursed through you at his unsolicited pity. You blinked rapidly, your reaction catching you off guard.
“Do you want us to leave? Or would you like to come with us?” the woman offered, redirecting your attention back to her.
You shifted sides and winced at the sharp sting you had forgotten on your backside. Last night came flooding back to you along with thoughts of Sam. 
“I will stay here until I am released from punishment,” you answered curtly.
“Alright,” she conceded. “Would you care for any water or food before we go?”
You nearly jumped at her offer. “I-I. Yes.”
She smiled and stabilized herself against the shelving as she stood. “Gotta pack plenty of snacks for this little one in here.” She gently patted her pregnant belly and turned to leave the shed.
You knew you shouldn’t follow her, but the ravenous clawing in your gut pushed you to a crawl along the ground. You stopped at the doorway and hugged yourself to it. Your stomach turned when you counted at least 10 other people in her party standing by.
She appeared to be the only woman. Was she the boss? How on earth had she managed that? Everyone was giving her space instead of making her walk around them, and all she had to do was hold out her hand before someone placed what she had silently asked for, right into her palm.
You were mesmerized by her effortless control of the group. You searched the faces surrounding you, intent on gauging which appeared the most hellbent on ripping you to shreds. Much to your confusion, all that met you were expressions similar to that of the man who had first come into the shed: sadness, pity, sympathy. 
You needed to eat whatever this woman gave you so that you could start thinking straight, because none of what your eyes were telling you made any sense.
“Hope this is alright.” She meandered back over to you and put her arm against the doorframe. The tied paper bundle she presented you didn’t look like much, but you would’ve taken anything. You eyed it cautiously, only accepting and opening it after the woman gave you an encouraging nod. Your fingers shook as you untied the knot holding the pack closed.
You must have been dreaming. There were various nuts, dried fruit, and even some dried beef chips. Your eyes brimmed with tears at the feast before you. This was the most food you had seen in a single sitting for god knows how long. You glanced up at the woman, incredulous at the spread she had so freely gifted you. She nodded once more, prompting you to eat.
You probably looked like a voracious beast as you bent over the packaging and shoveled its contents into your mouth. You barely chewed because you were so anguished to have something on your stomach. The first few bites hurt a bit when they landed in your belly. It had been so long since you’d last eaten or drank, and it made your stomach sensitive.
You hadn’t noticed the woman leaving your side for a moment to fetch a glass bottle that swirled with a light brown liquid. “Apple juice,” she clarified as she extended it to you. 
You breathed a shaky laugh as you grabbed the bottle, undid the lid, and pitched the entire thing back. You loudly gulped until it was gone, and you shamelessly tapped the glass trying to get every last drop out. You licked your lips, not wanting to waste of any of what had been given to you. You weren’t sure if it was the rush of glucose, but your eyes were darting wildly around, like you were awake for the first time in days.
“You can have as much as you want, but if it’s been a while since you last ate then it’s wise to give yourself a moment to adjust to the food already on your stomach before eating anything else.” The woman eyed you with such cool composure that you believed her. You didn’t know why. You just did. Even if she ended up being a horrible person and a conniving liar, you didn’t care; your body felt a thrum of life in it in a way that you couldn’t previously recall.
“If you want to join us at our settlement for dinner, we have hot food as well,” she cautiously bid. Your gut lurched, and you didn’t know if it was because it was adjusting to the food or if you were right back to wondering if this was all some sort of trap. Something told you that Sam wouldn’t go through the trouble to do all this, and he certainly wouldn’t like someone else giving you food. You decide that, more likely than not, this was not some scheme dreamt up by your captor. “Do you have clothes for the ride?” she questioned, scanning your threadbare, thin garments.
“N'hm. Jus' this,” you admitted, feeling less inclined to lie as each moment passed. Sam had probably taken your clothes with him as some kind of weird trophy, and you didn’t want to go back into the cabin to find out.
The woman looked like she already figured that was going to be your answer. She began to shrug her jacket off, but the mustached man took a step forward. “Quit that, Maria. She can have mine,” he chided softly. “Here ya go, honey.” He held out his jacket to you, but you were too afraid to take it. He looked back quizzically to the woman named Maria, unsure of what to do.
“I’ll take it, Tommy,” she replied, grabbing the garment from his hands and helping you into it. The warmth made your eyes flutter closed for a moment. Maria made quick work of buttoning you up in it. It was a strange sensation, feeling the warmth of a man - even if it was just through his jacket - that was a comfort instead of damage.
“You don’t have any shoes either, I see,” she snipped disapprovingly, although you could tell it was reserved for the person who had rid you of them. She beckoned for her horse to be brought to the opening of the shed. “Unfortunately don’t have any of those on hand out here, but we can get you some later tonight.”
The man called Tommy shuffled side to side a few times, clearly uncomfortable with something. “Maria, let her ride with someone else,” he muttered under his breath. He glanced at you apologetically.
Maria didn’t break eye contact with you as she addressed you. “You’re going to ride with me. You’re not going to try to hurt me, are you?”
Your eyes widened, and an annoying mist welled up again. “I would-I would never h-hurt you, or hurt your-” you stammered, looking down at her belly. It felt ridiculous, but you were crushed for these strangers to believe you would ever wish to harm someone like that. 
“Okay then. You’re riding rear. Think you can get a good hold with baby Miller taking up so much space?” she asked. A playful grin warmed her features, and you nodded emphatically, wanting to make a good impression since these people apparently thought you were some kind of violent monster.
Her horse paused by the shed opening, and she skillfully swung herself onto it. “You’re up next.”
You shifted your weight between your socked feet. “I dunno know h-how-I’m not sure .. how to get up like that,” you admitted. If this whole thing fell through just because you couldn’t properly mount a horse, you were going to have a complete breakdown right then and there. 
“My husband Tommy can give you a hand up if that’s okay?”
You glanced over to Tommy, who looked like he thought it was even worse of an idea than you did. You could tell he didn’t trust you. He thought you were going to hurt him or his pregnant wife.
You placed a shaky step towards him and held his gaze. 
“I w-won’t hurt her, or the, or the baby, I won’t hurt y-you… I don’t wanna hurt anyone. I don’t do. I don't do th-that. I’m not like that,” you whispered hoarsely, blinking back tears. You didn’t know what had come over you to be addressing this man so directly when you hadn’t known these people for more than 20  minutes tops. 
“I know that, honey. I know that,” he soothed, sounding slightly ashamed of himself. “Just can’t help worrying about my sweetheart and my baby.” He looked up to Maria with a fondness you had never known a man to hold for a woman. It made your chest hurt and your skin itch.
You grounded yourself in resolve. “I will, I will take your help,” you announced awkwardly. You stood completely still as you waited for Tommy to provide assistance.
“Oh. Uh, alright then.” He cleared his throat and approached your side of the horse slowly so as if to not startle you.
“If you get your footin’ on my leg then you can hold onto my shoulders and push yourself up,” he instructed softly. The way Tommy moved around you and spoke to you made it feel like he was afraid you might shatter into a million pieces.
“But you might need me to steady you on your sides. Are you gonna be okay with that?”
Your stomach nearly flung into your ribs at the mere thought of him placing his hands anywhere on you. He had evidently understood your reaction because he clarified, “You don’t have to, honey. It just might be a little hard without the extra help.” His lips set in a thin line as he nodded with encouragement. “Don’t want you fallin’ into the snow.”
You glanced up to Maria who had a patient, understanding expression. You looked back to Tommy and decided that if Maria trusted him enough to carry their child, you could trust him enough to help you onto the horse. There was also the fact that he had done nothing in the slightest to make you think he would flip a switch and turn malicious.
“I will take it. Your help,” you repeated with more confidence. Tommy nodded and crouched to the ground in front of you. He patted his bent knee, prompting you to place your foot there. You couldn’t hide your reluctance as you oafishly inched closer to him and grabbed at the fabric on his shoulders. You stalled in place except for your hands, which nervously pinched at Tommy’s shirt.
“Take your time, honey,” he eased. His mouth was pinched to one side, and his eyes were soft, compassionate. It was all so incredibly bizarre and almost made you feel even more on edge just for the fact that it was such a foreign dynamic. 
“Stop it. Looking at m-me like that,” you grumbled.
Tommy dropped his gaze, unsure of what he was conveying that was so offensive to you. Inside you were screaming at yourself. What on earth possessed you to order him around like that? And why had he even listened? 
Your disorientation was no longer a result of hunger and thirst; it was now these bewilderingly kind people treating you so … you didn’t even know the word for it. Strange was all you could think. “Sorry,” you whispered, hoisting yourself up on Tommy’s leg and veering onto the horse. Just as he had previously informed you, Tommy steadied your sides with a hold so light you wondered if he was actually doing anything at all. You bumbled your way onto the horse’s back and situated your body against Maria’s. 
“M’sorry,” you mumbled into the back of her jacket.
“Stop apologizin’, honey,” Tommy implored. “Here, wrap this around you real good.” 
He handed you a worn blanket to drape around your legs. You didn’t flinch or pull away this time, and it seemed Tommy noticed as a small smile brightened his entire face.
“I’m ridin’ beside you, sweetheart,” he informed Maria, placing a gentle kiss on her leg before mounting his own horse.
“Now we head home,” Maria said over her shoulder.
Home.
What a strange, lovely notion.
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Hello, all.
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my newest fic! It has been very cathartic for me to write this story, and I hope it resonates with anyone who needs healing.
Thank you for reading, especially to those who had to skip past the sensitive material section as I know this means you took a chance just opening my lil fic. I appreciate you! And to those who read this chapter in its entirety, thank you for traumatizing yourself right along with me lmao. U a real one fah dat.
I fucking love softboi!Tommy so much. We will see more of him in the future as I plan on both him and Maria playing a prominent role in this fic. I love their relationship sfm, and I’m a mushy gushy fluff slut so it’s all indulgent fodder for me.
Things WILL improve for our Feral Woman®, but these things take time. I hope you follow along her journey! 
Catch ya later,
♥Puddles♥
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blackdchliia · 1 year
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♡Family Line: Toya Todoroki♡
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♡Family Line: Toya Todoroki♡
♡Warnings: Angst, talk of abuse, spoilers for Toya’s backstory, angst to comfort, enji todoroki♡
♡Summary: He’s finally opening up. About every single thing he had ever been through. Dabi is finally revealing himself to you.♡
♡Please like and reblog! And don’t be afraid to request any other story you wish to see with a My Hero character♡  
“Where do we begin?” His voice echoed in the small bedroom of my apartment, arms wrapped around me, holding me close to his scarred-up form. “How about the beginning, Dabi?” Teal eyes bore into my own e/c eyes. A dark eyebrow raised in question as he spoke, “You don’t want to hear everything. Trust me.” I frowned in response. “I do.” A long sigh left his burnt lips; cold staples grazing against my bare skin as he moved to sit up, back leaning against the headboard of my bed. 
“My old man--he was a man of few words. He never really talked to us a lot; especially after my youngest brother was born.” Dabi’s eyes stared ahead, almost as if he were envisioning the scene right in front of him. “When he did speak to me, I was really young. We used to go on walks together around our home,” he paused, inhaling deeply to calm himself. “He used to train me. I wanted to be a hero--to surpass All-might. Ain’t that crazy?” He looked down at me, a pitiful grin growing on his lips as he spoke. 
“I loved dad. I looked up to him--I wanted to be him.” 
“You don’t have to continue, Dab-” My words were cut off as Dabi shushed me. “I want to--I need to,” and with that I shut my mouth, staring up at my lover with a pitiful look on my face. 
“Thing is, after my little brother was born, Dad could get angry. He’d get angry at that little boy--hitting him and my mother.” A look of pure hatred appeared in Dabi's eyes. “Mom was always crying, taking the punches for my brother, begging my dad to acknowledge his other children--his failures.” Blood fell from Dabi’s face. 
“Thing is--I still loved dad, even when I was deemed a failure because of my quirk,” once more, Dabi took another deep breath, shakily reaching a hand up and rubbing at the blood that fell from his left eye. “I wanted to so badly prove myself--I spent nights crying to my other little brother, wondering why I wasn’t good enough for dad.” It’s so heartbreaking; knowing that a child had gone through something so traumatic, especially at the hands of their parents. 
“I have my dad’s eyes, ya know?” my eyes shot up, gazing into Dabi’s gorgeous gaze. “I look so much like that fucker that I hate looking in a mirror.” More blood was coming down. “Dad sent mom off to a mental ward, and long story short, I got into this accident...” He trailed off, trying to think of a simpler way to explain his situation. “I faked my death--er, my father believed that I was dead.” He groaned, hands pulling away from me and knotting up into his hair. “Fuck--I can’t explain this, Y/n.” 
I sat up beside Dabi, arms wrapping around him and pulling his much larger form into mine. “Just breath, in and out, in and out,” we repeated the breathing process together for a few more minutes before Dabi pulled away. 
“I just don’t get how someone could hurt a little kid, Y/n. I keep trying to run--to hide from everything, but I can’t run or hide from my family line.” Weak sobs left his lips. “He’s always in the spotlight! No one knows about the shit he put my family through!” He cried out, blood continued to pour from his eyes. 
My breath was caught in my throat; my brows knitted together in worry. “Dabi who are you?” My words came out in a hushed whisper, for fear that he would back away—refusing to tell me anymore as to who he was.
Bloodied, teal eyes bore into my e/c eyes. No emotion was on his face; eyes that belonged to his father bore into my soul—searching for something. Slowly, he looked away, mouth straightening in a line. He was in a deep thought, staring at the bedroom wall. “Call me Toya,” his voice sounded throughout the room—hoarse, strained.
Toya..?
“Toya Todoroki.” Everything clicked. Every hint, every look of anger when the flame hero appeared on my TV screen, every single word Dabi had ever spoke to me. “Dad and I—we may share a face, and a last name but we are NOT the same,” he took a breath, pausing as he tried to calm himself down. “I will never be like that monster.” My heart broke for the pain my lover had been through. Carefully, my arms wrapped around his shaking form, bringing him close to me.
“I love you, Toya.”
His head snapped up, staring at me with furrowed brows. He looked like a hurt child—just staring up at me with nothing but pain in his gaze. “If your father loved you—he would never do that to you..Someone who loves you, they would never harm you,” I whispered. His eyebrows fell into a neutral expression—eyes unfocusing as he looked away from me, now staring at the wall in front of us.
“Do you think i can run?”
“Run from what, Toya?”
“Everything—everyone, my family line-“
I bit my lip, looking away as i tried to think my answer out clearly. “No..I don’t think you can,” his head once again shot up, now staring at me with a look of pure confusion. “What do you mean?”
I began to grow nervous, knowing that if i said the wrong this here—Dabi would have a fit. “You can run, but you can’t ever hide from these things, Toya. Remember that, okay?” We both remained silent, staring into each others eyes in a game of predator and prey. Waiting for the other to speak up.
“I love you,” his words brought happiness to my heart; I pulled his shaking form closer to mine, pressing a kiss to his head. “I love you as well.”
He may share a face, he may share a last name—but he will never be Enji Todoroki. Toya Todoroki and Enji Todoroki—they are not the same.
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thestobingirlie · 1 year
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I love reading fics where Steve is disabled, be it hard of hearing, seizures, chronic migraines, like he's had too many concussions not to have any issues from it. (I think its because I have a neurological disability and Steve is my comfort character, so projecting.)
But something that really gives me the ick is I've noticed a lot more ST fic recently have been handling disabled characters in a really ableist way (100% not all, just noticed more) and quite often they're just infantilising the disabled characters. I've noticed this the most when Steve is disabled, because I mostly read Steve-centric fics, but I have also noticed it with Robin and Eddie.
I've been seeing a lot of other characters addressing Steve and Robin as if they were toddlers when they are written as disabled, in ways that no adult should speak to anyone who is over the age of 5. Especially when Steve is written in a post-seizure state, or Robin is having a panic attack. Like, they might not be fully aware, but they are not children.
Sometimes, its other characters treating Steve as if he is incapable of doing anything on his own if he is disabled. As if the only things he can do without constant supervision is lie in bed or sit on a couch and watch tv. I saw one fic where others scolded him for getting out of bed to go to the bathroom without asking for help, and it wasn't as if he was recently injured or fresh out of a seizure, he was in pretty good health aside from being at risk of seizures.
With Robin, I've seen her written as if she needs to be treated like a fragile 2 year old otherwise she is in a constant state of panic attack and is always totally useless, and I've seen people use this sort of attitude to write her out of the high stress situations. Or she will just always go off on unrelated tangents so she isn't useful because she interrupts the people who know what they're talking about. Or she's written as if her rambling is a liability and she can't be trusted because if she got caught she'd 100% tell the bad guys everything.
And with Eddie I've noticed some people who write him as autistic (I love autistic and ADHD Eddie) seem to have him just constantly biting people like he is a nonverbal three-year-old who has figured out that their easiest way to communicate is by using their teeth. And it always with the attitude "it doesn't matter if he hurts people by biting them because it is his method of self-regulating."
(And no, I do NOT accept the billy stans who claim that it is ableist to talk about the bad things he's done. like, no that man is not canonically disabled (I've seen billy stans say he is canonically bipolar or has bpd? Like no.), he is canonically racist and abusive. even if he was canonically disabled that isn't an excuse for his behavior. also, I know people that have bipolar or bpd, and they arent racist and abusive. in fact they are some of the most careful people about what they can control of their behavior because they are worried about becoming abusive to their loved ones).
sorry this is really disjointed and probably doesn't make much sense but I just needed to get it off my chest. and I just love your blog!
and i love you, random tumblr user! but yeah, always feel free to just drop thoughts into my inbox, i’ll try and sort through them lmao
i enjoy reading fics where steve’s injuries have repercussions too. though it definitely isn’t always written well.
i think because the duffers ignore his injuries so much, people kinda go into hyperdrive and over-acknowledge them, almost. i think it also comes from wanting steve to be as angsty as possible, which means people don’t treat his disability’s very… nicely? they usually just use his conditions to ruin his life and make him miserable, and infantilise him, like you said.
i honestly think people just know fuck all about seizures, and cannot be bothered to look it up, but still want steve to experience them so they can make him as sad and depressed as possible.
they see seizures as this, like, life-ending condition, and so use them to kinda destroy steve’s life.
i think a lot of people also use his disabilities to get steve cared for, because we all want people to take care of the poor boy. but again, they just over-do it, and make it seem like he’s a little baby that can’t do anything.
i honestly don’t think most of these people are doing this from a place of harm. i think they honestly want to depict steve experiencing these things and being comforted etc. they’re just kinda ignorant.
i am very lucky that i haven’t seen fics that treat robin like that, because i honestly think i’d explode lol.
and yeah, the biting thing was kinda funny at first, and then it got kinda weird… people just see a fandom joke and do what fandoms always do, which is drag it out, and make it so extreme it’s barely recognisable as the original idea.
(yeah, with no character should you excuse their actions with a mental illness. like, billy’s abuse explains why he is the way he is, but it doesn’t excuse it. even when you have a mental illness you can’t just use that as an excuse to treat people like crap, and they’re entitled to call you out for doing so.)
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mswyrr · 7 months
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IMO, the Star Wars OT is a huge space opera, but at heart it's about Luke learning about his abusive/addict father and making peace with him and the things inside Luke that he shared with his father. it's about how he is tempted by the dark side too, about Anakin as his shadow he has to incorporate and make peace with.
The historical context in the US fits with this and helps explain (in part) why this story hit so hard with the public. It was a period of major generational conflict between Boomers and their parents, the WW2 gen, over the Vietnam War (which many ww2 veterans pushed their sons into). Within that, the OT was written by a Boomer about a touchy-feely kid who wanted to go express himself and chill instead of becoming a machine man, a weapon of war like his father, who serves the "Empire" (which Lucas has said was based on the US!! It was based on the US war machine). The WW2 gen/Boomer generational conflict is right there - as is the way that a LOT of the WW2 generation men had deep trauma they never dealt with besides self-medicating with alcohol* and numbing it as best they could. (and often also hitting their kids/wives).** That was something a lot of younger men like Lucas didn't want for themselves; they tried to embrace psychology, self-help, myths and mysticism, emotion.
A WW2 generation man as this numb, violent, terrifying being locked away in a suit? And the idea that maybe somewhere inside there is a heart that could love you? Powerful stuff for a generation of boys that largely grew up being (to one degree or another) knocked around by emotionally distant fathers.
The metaphor works beautifully and I think where Ahsoka's relationship with Anakin as a father/elder brother figure goes in Ahsoka ep 5 is aiming for a similar level of emotional nuance re: how love and abuse can be complex and how someone can "fall" to the darkness, but it's not a simple situation for you as someone who loves them. (Similarly, the handling of the late Jedi Order's abusive behavior in sending children into battle has been done with nuance as well). Because she does love him and she does feel that he is a part of her - so until she can make peace with that and what it means, she cannot be at peace with herself*** and her own right to live and be whole rather than afraid of herself.
I think the inner psychological journey stuff is a rich thing that comes out of a specific period and its dynamics and yet continues to be able to speak to powerful issues re: trauma, love, addiction, and abuse. There's other ways of interpreting it, and it's a story, so those are valid. But I do get frustrated when the metaphorical reading is dismissed out of hand or denigrated, when Lucas and Filoni both intentionally draw on Jungian psychology and mythology in ways that fit with it as a reading.
I'm still annoyed at the person on Twitter yesterday who told me I was being "harmful" toward survivors of abuse (I am myself a survivor of abuse) for liking Ahsoka Episode 5. Like.... my dear Twitter person, I am not telling you how to feel about abuse or art or telling you that your reactions make you a bad person, would you extend me the same grace? No? Okay.
*mental health care was shit at the time, like absolutely shit if you weren't rich. i cannot emphasize enough how absolutely shit it was. some states even put any mental hospitalizations you had on records viewable by potential employers so they could see it and discriminate against you. so it's complicated - partly the embrace of mental health comes from the Boomer gen and their backlash against their parents' "keep it all inside" school of thought and the damage it caused
**I did a dissertation on late 20th Century mental health care in the US
***not everybody is going to relate to this and that's okay! there is no one right way to heal! it's not a simple thing or an exact science; humans are too complex for that
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Hey fellow Beatrix stan~💋 Was thinking about how Beatrix does not have a title like “the demon king’s daughter” or “the white rose”. If she had a title, what do you think it would be?
Let me die, let me drown, lay my bones in the ground
I will still come around when the time for sleep is through
Over hill, over dale, through the valley and vale
Do not weep, do not wail, I am coming home to you
AHHH hello!! I love fellow Beatrix stans, I literally think about her 24/7. Thank you so much for this ask. It brings me so much joy to be able to talk about her and put down in writing the various ideas I have about her, even though it is very late I hope you’ll enjoy it!
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Personally, I feel as though Beatrix has been an enigma throughout the short glimpses we got of her.
Especially as a vampire who has such a long history, most of these are simply theoretical based on what limited information there is about her. If that makes sense?
- Ice Princess
- Queen of Hearts
- Plain Woman
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Ice Princess is probably the first one that came to mind with her, I think her impassive exterior is one formed over a long period.
From her actions, she has this callous care for the people around her that I think came from being one of those quiet children that meant well but stayed silent unsure of when they were allowed to speak, so she stayed content in not having to stand in the limelight. So she was probably someone quite introverted, hence when it came to being put out like a puppet her flight or fight response literally caused her to … freeze.
As far as I’ve understood from the way she treats her sons, she almost has an avoidant personality, many people do this by dissociation or simply ignoring things that will complicate their situation at hand, the worst part is it’s never on purpose and they feel guilt but it’s what they believe is for the best.
By choosing not to respond or give in to bait, and never being able to gain the courage to leave her mental castle, in a way she traps herself in her own tower from others because of something that occurs in her life that is so violent, unpredictable, something so out of her control.
It is the catalyst for her mask, like most children raised in these conditions they often find comfort in these abusive situations as it’s something familiar to them, and because her most frequent response became to avoid as much conflict as she could; the persona she now exudes is hardened, cold-blooded, and someone who needs control. Someone that puts priority and duty first not out of obligation or responsibility but as a survival tactic.
Which is my explanation for the ‘ice’ bit.
The princess bit is what I think is a bit more obvious, in comparison to Cordelia who is of viboran and first blood descent which makes her so important as a foreign bride of another powerful - if not equally powerful - clan.
Or Christa who is second or third? cousins with Karl which clearly solidifies her lineage as the blood of the imperial monarch of vampires.
Beatrix would come from nobility, partially as someone who would need solid legitimacy and also because it puts a balance to powers within the court because Cordelia strengthens the power of foreign ministers. Christa reinforced the power of royalists within the court the nobles would be neglected.
Within the peerage of nobility, the highest are the Dukes, usually 2 or more within every empire to restrict the power of the royal family, this is why many of their titles are also Prince or Princess before they inherit their duchy’s, or Your Highness.
Not to be confused with royal titles which are Your Royal Highness, otherwise, you might just be tried for treason and killed.
Again because the main responsibility of ducal families is to limit royal power, hence their families are kept separate. No marriages.
Normally the second most important rank in the peerage - the Marquises - would marry into the Royal Family.
So if there were a need for revolt it wouldn’t be cousin vs cousin or brother vs sister as coups are led by the Ducal Families so whoever wins has to execute all family members on either side and that would simply be crude.
Beatrix was an exception however and as a Ducal Princess the only one relevant enough to challenge the rights of the other wives.
So came the title ‘ Ice Princess’ in her younger years
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Queen of Hearts is something I feel occurred once she became more established within her role.
I imagine it was a title of jest at first, where in the years after her marriage Cordelia spent her time throwing lavish balls and travelling the country from noble family to family under the guise of forming connections and spreading patronage; Beatrix was the polar opposite.
She spends long hours confined within her palace sorting through documents, attending royal ceremonies, meeting with officials, dignitaries and ambassadors. She looks through contracts and complaints within constituencies. As most would expect, such thorough combing through of the parliament and court led to quite a lot of lords and influential people being stripped of power, exiled, or executed.
Hence the trail of rolling heads at her feet led to the title ‘ Queen of Hearts.
However, near the end of crimson and amber leaves that once decorated the demon world, comes a new joy. His royal highness, crown prince Shu who is the firstborn of Karlheinz and Beatrix Sakamaki; it’s such a joyous occasion even the demon world’s winter couldn’t damper the hopeful festivities in hopes that he’d make it through the winter.
And he did.
Thus with his birth, and the first obstacle overcome with the resilience of a righteous ruler emerges a new Beatrix from her cocoon. Most are stunned at the frequency, they see her look content if not joyous in the presence of her little sun; she takes him out on parades around the nation and far travels.
Soon disperse the rumours of the plain, bookish woman who is their queen, for who better represents vampiric values than Beatrix. Someone who puts her family and duty first and frivolous activities second, never faltering in her politeness and gracefulness not to mention her striking looks that their prince has inherited. Vividly displaying power and commandeering those around her, they soon grow proud to have someone like her as Queen.
Especially with the work she puts into improving the social, economic and political situation within the country; her hard work evident in the new improved infrastructure, the peace treaties developed, so that some day her son shouldn’t have to lead armies like her husband once has.
So came a new meaning to Queen of Hearts, it wasn’t often someone became monarch and deserved their title.
It was to the extent even Karlheinz was forced to change inheritance laws, for so long only divorced or widowed women could own titles, but in the beginning of spring when more exciting news of her being pregnant again spread ‘The Act of Succession’ was passed, that if a husband were to pass his wife/mother of his eldest child shall take his title till his eldest child (not son) is of age unless specifically passed to another in his will.
It was enough to start outcries, and debates but in the end no one could deny faults within Beatrix as their ruler, and even if they never became regent monarch they happily let her rule their hearts.
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Plain Woman had to be the most vicious of the nicknames Beatrix had gained in her time, for what did someone with such pure intentions know of the mental games that would exhaust her soul in the next century.
Obviously Beatrix was beautiful, but in the twisted comparison to the other wives not even the strongest mental fortitudes could resist it's slow decay.
Cordelia with her exotic features, enchanting lilt from her accent, and seductiveness that poured from the cells that made her or even Christa with her innocent pretty features, oh she was as pretty as the moon itself, with her illustrious silver strands and blood-wine eyes.
In comparison, Beatrix often wondered in the colder afternoons, when she would sit alone for hours on end her tea long cold, staring at her ink stained hands, knobbly and ugly, her straw like hair heavy, and her dull goulish skin in the reflection all she can wonder why was this the one truth Cordelia had to utter in all of her lies.
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beautifuldreamerlum · 3 months
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Wanted: Help To Develop Sonic Movie Characters - Lets Reach The Big Ones
Ok, so there are going to be quite a few updates here, and I need you to pay attention now because this is incredibly important.
I am looking for fan-artists and writers to help with this project. Especially fan artists because I am going to be developing a few characters I'd happily pay money for, for arts.
I want Jim Carrey and Lee Majdoub to see this as well, so please like, share and reblog as widely as you can. Thank you x
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For those of you who don't know, I recently started writing in the Sonic The Hedgehog fandom for the first time.
I published a fanfic called Please Don't Leave Me, on AO3 and Tumblr, which you can find here.
It focuses on the debilitating C-PTSD that Dr Robotnik clearly suffers from, and the panic attacks he begins re-experiencing due to Agent Stone's friendship creeping in, finally forcing past traumas forward.
There are a lot of things that I noticed about Jim Carrey's Robotnik, and the friendship he has with Lee Majdoub's Agent Stone.
I thought at first that I was just projecting, as a survivor of domestic violence, and a witness of domestic violence towards others. But this guy clearly has more than just 'a chip on his shoulder' (as Carrey said in an interview), and it really made me go back and re-analyse his character again, to find out why this stuck with me so much.
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I couldn't possibly imagine Jim Carrey coming out of retirement to play some random part on the big screen for some random branded film, just because some director or Carrey fan randomly selected him to be up there.
He is an incredible guy, a deep thinker, and sees things that others simply don't. There had to be an incredibly important message in that film series, to convince him to come out of retirement. Right in the middle of cancel culture and the way Hollywood and society is going, especially in America, and given the dark history of Sonic The Hedgehog... I think I've got it.
Sonic is rebooting, and Jim Carrey was selected to lead it.
The fact that Carrey is not too keen on modern trends and technology anyway, and the way it is destroying society, makes him perfect to play the role of Robotnik.
A Word On Bullying and Forced Terrorism
First of all, many years ago I saw this Ted Talk by Aaron Stark - I Was Almost A School Shooter.
Aaron talks about how he was bullied mercilessly as a child, raised by drug addicts and rejected by his mother on aggressive terms. He had no clean clothes or food, no stable home, a poor education, was overweight, self harmed and had many other issues going on.
In this talk, Aaron courageously braved the stage in order to create awareness of his past situation, and to help those suffering today.
He braved the stage to thank his best friend for sticking by him through thick and thin, even though he stole from him, lied to him and did everything in his power to push him away.
He braved the stage to thank his wife and children, and for showing others that even in the darkest of times there is hope. There is a future.
I found Aaron Stark's talk incredible, and his courage to speak out about such a controversial subject, so confidently and heartbrokenly at the same time. (I cried, and felt immense pride for him.)
Aaron Stark's childhood situation is apparently quite a common thing in America, and so is clearly an uncontrollable issue that needs more work put in, and kindness.
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I immediately thought of the relationship between Agent Stone and Robotnik, and remembered how angry and scared I felt when I had been abused constantly on a daily basis. To the point where I even questioned whether I had been kidnapped as a child, because I simply could not process or think how or why I was in this dark situation when others were not.
I am now over 30, and I still have frequent panic attacks, starve myself, push others away and think of suicide. I have abandonment issues, multiple phobias, and have quite often psychologically self harmed without realising.
I by no means had the worst of narcissistic abuse in the world, and yet the damage it caused was absolutely catastrophic. So with this analysis of Dr Robotnik's character, I wanted to create a mini series, and have your help with it so that others can speak out too.
--
Ideally, I want Jim Carrey and Lee Majdoub to see this. Not for personal attention, but for consideration of character development.
I am scared, in a way because some of the things I have been through have been horrific, and I can't say too much without identifying myself online. I don't want to be identified online.
But I wanted to explore that past for Dr Robotnik, or have elements of it used perhaps in the upcoming movies, as it seems likely that this character development/story arc has already been placed since day one and is in full swing.
When Aaron Stark discussed his best friend's loyalty, in the Ted interview, he said something that really stuck with me, summed up Agent Stone and Robotnik's relationship perfectly, and made me want to quote it.
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"But thankfully I wasn't alone in that darkness.
My best friend who had saved me, when I was sleeping in the shed, he saw this place that I was in.
Even though I had stolen from him, and lied to him, and taken his belongings and ruined it all, he didn't care, he still brought me in and showed me acts of kindness. Just simple acts.
It wasn't the kind of overbearing kindness where they say 'Is there anything I can do for you,' or 'is there something I can do to make you better?' or 'how can I help you?' It was literally just sitting down next to me, 'hey, would you like a meal? Let's watch a movie.'
He treated it like it was a Tuesday, he treated me like I was a person. When someone treats you like a person, when you don't even feel like a human, it'll change your entire world, and it did to me."
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I haven't properly written fan fiction in over ten years, and I'm sure that there are others who can write this story much better than me.
But I am going to put into it what I can do, and I would love for others to explore this as and how they see fit, and publish what they can, and give character analysis and feedback.
The one thing Jim Carrey said was, he loves the fact that Sonic is about family, and love. I can't imagine him playing Eggman without some kind of character redemption.
I think it'd be cute as Stone helps Robotnik fit in with his own little family, if he starts realising (just like Sonic) that there are many things that he has never done... and his new family helps him with that too.
Also an important message is that, Sonic grew up alone but had help and support right from the very beginning, with people who loved and care for him and tried to safeguard him, shaping him into the innocent and pure person he is, despite everything.
Whereas Robotnik didn't, so the comparison is incredibly important there but doesn't stop them from growing as characters and working together, and doing the right thing in the end. Yes they can both change the world for the better, but only if they work together.
I also think it'd be cute if the two families are direct opposites and parallels of each other, like a study piece. Also displaying the faults and successes of the fostering system.
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Example; Tom and Maddie are Sonic's foster parents. Sonic is like the difficult ADHD child, and they don't judge him or abandon him, they try and work with that. Tom literally quits his promotion to take care of Sonic, placing him at top priority and endangering himself in the process to ensure the correct safeguarding of Sonic.
Dr Robotnik does not understand this form of love, and asks why he would throw his life away for this creature, who simply didn't belong. I believe this is a direct projection of his own feelings, and the way he was treated as a child. He wasn't a person, he was a freak, a creature, trash and nobody cared enough to even check if he was alive or safeguard him.
Maddie's sister tries to keep Maddie away from Tom, obviously hurt herself once before and fearing that Tom will hurt the one she loves (Maddie.) However she comes to forgive Tom and love Sonic, realising that sometimes you just have to let people love you, and heartbreak is an emotion you just have to risk while hunting for happiness.
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In comparison, Agent Stone tries to be the best friend to Dr Robotnik that he probably never had as a child. Therefore comparing how he slipped through the foster systems cracks (no support, unkind families interested in the money side of fostering only etc.)
(Similar to how Tails never had a friend when he was bullied and finds one in Sonic. I believe Sonic is his hero because he never stops going, no matter what. Just like how Dr Robotnik never stops going, no matter what, yet is a very misunderstood character due to his reluctance to open up to people. His defense mechanism is to project what he's convinced people always wanted to see in him - evil.
I believe that if another is involved (a female, for example - important), she would become the surrogate sister/mother/best friend that Robotnik badly missed growing up with, and still misses desperately even now.
This could be Agent Stone's sister, allowing Stone and Robotnik to have a gay/brotherly relationship in the movies, with the sister being the third wheeler - generally doing everything to annoy Robotnik, but constantly being forgiven because she is as stubbornly irritating as he is, and there's a lot of squabbles and exposure therapy there.
Therefore when Dr Robotnik becomes part of their family, she sort of adopts him as a surrogate mother, and helps him work through his issues with Stone (calling him a pain in the ass though) kind of like how Dr Leonard Hoffstader and Penny did with Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory.
Where Robotnik is precise, perfect and very OCD, she is scatty, unreliable, young, humorous, fairly uneducated and needs to grow as a character and learn responsibility. But she can kick ass and will do anything to defend the ones she loves the most.
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Can I also just say that Jenna Ortega would be perfect for this role, if they do not find someone even better. There has to be a certain level of sarcasm and dark humour that only Dr Robotnik could appreciate.
In fact Stone's sister could even be adopted and have suffered herself through the fostering system, making friends and struggling, but she always had her wingman Stone to look after her wounds and cuddle her as a brother when she was sad and alone. Again, the comparisons.
This could be kept a secret from Robotnik for a while (probably not purposefully), so he suddenly finds her very intriguing. If the directors wanted to take this route, perhaps there is some growing tension there at some point when the doctor grows to accept her and love her as Stone's sister, and questions whether he's attracted to her romantically, or as a person, a little sister and he just wants to protect her and annoy her back in return.
This would open the possibility for a few plot developments:
Stone and Robotnik have a gay relationship. Robotnik is distracted by #sister and Stone notices (or doesn't) and worries. Like a Will/Elizabeth/Jack thing from Pirates Of The Caribbean.
Sister later has a baby with a man who abandons her (again the comparison of abandonment.) Stone and Dr Robotnik take charge and Dr Robotnik tries to become the father he never had, because his child will come first.
Stone accepts Robotnik and sister as a couple. The two males continue with a brotherly love, and a threesome family relationship. Stone always wanted to help people as a child, and become a therapist or an agent, so that's what he's become. He has a heart of gold, and the couple worship him for making the world a better place to live in. The importance of his character - protection, safeguarding, love, help, forgiveness.
Thank you.
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wackpedion · 9 days
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Hallo chaaaa☆
Saw your post, time to send ask 🏃‍➡️ Actually more like i just send whatever in my mind right now
Kodaka once said (on bsky, although not canon, it is still fun to think about) that Seth's childhood had similarities with Jataro's.
I wonder how toxic is his family
maybe he was scolded when he was young, which led to him panicking when he heard adults/people with more power (priest, Yomi) scold him? Or is he subjected to cold violence because of the creed "silence is golden" and he suppresses his feelings of wanting to express himself?
What do you think about this?
Link to the post in case you need recheck: https://bsky.app/profile/kazkodaka.bsky.social/post/3koc6n22qwu27
YEAH I SAW THAT !!!! it drove me sososo insane when i first saw it because I always headcanoned that Seth had a rough homelife/childhood and turns out its canon......... im a prophet
anyway I havee . thoughts, on his family. I imagine that his parent's verbally abusive, similiar to Jataros. They were probably also pretty absent too seeing as that's a notable part of Jataros homelife. additionally the creed doesn't paint a very welcoming picture, encouraging silence and coming off as controlling, and I imagine his parents were strict over the creed
youu're like totally right about the thing about people in power, i imagine because of his upbringing he has a complicated relationship with authority figures, having been conditioned to do as they say and follow orders and please them while also having been consistently mistreated by them throughout his life
also random sidenote but I think of his family as being rich and prestigious
I also think Seth has siblings, not for any specific reason but rather that if someone has a child they're likely to have more than one so it just makes sense probability wise. I would say he has like... 3-4 siblings ? I dont have a solid headcanon for it though. I imagine the relationship amongst them would be very competitive, partly because of their home environment encouraging it, with them fighting to be better than the other and get validation/approval from their parents.
Imm not sure if Seth would be like, the eldest or youngest or somewhere in the middle, I kind of want to make him the eldest just for that eldest daughter syndrome. That and by making him the eldest you could headcanon that his parents choosing to have more children was because they wanted to have 'normal' and 'right' kids, unlike Seth who is sickly.
Speaking of Seth being sickly, I headcanon that he's disabled (specifically that he has Vocal Chord Paralysis, which often causes someone to have a whispery voice) and like probably autistic and/or chronically ill. I imagine that this makes his family see him as incapable and helpless, despite also holding him to high standards. this would lead to frustrating and upsetting situations for Seth and would noot help his confidence at all thats for sure
Uhmm thats it for now!! I mean I could probably say more but oughfj this is already pretty long so . I hope you enjoyed my hcs and rambles!!! and thanks for the ask :3
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