Hey jumblr friends: has anyone here read Thistlefoot by GennaRose Nethercott? I'm trying to find someone else to chat with about this book but it's very definitely about pogroms so I can't in good conscience recommend anyone else read it until I know exactly how to warn them if desired.
(If you're about to ask me why I'm reading a book about pogroms at this exact moment in Jewish history, it's because I think this book will either break me or fix me, but I'm hoping it's both.)
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me and my best friends all played this game in college, which we called Film Chicken. it's where you all research and find the most fucked up movies you can find. usually this would be a French one back in our day, but I don't know who is leading the fucked up movie industry these days. still them, probably. something wrong in France, imo. anyway, you each pick one. then you all get together once a week, or whenever, and watch each other's selected movies. if anyone taps out because the movie is too distressing for them, they are the chicken and they have to buy all the alcohol next time.
the prize for never tapping out (not to brag but i do hold this title) is bragging rights and mild psychological trauma from things you simply cannot unsee
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Can we talk about BG3 and parenting? Just for a moment.
I just realized (the other day while playing and saving Dame Aylin), that BG3 shows quite interesting parental figures.
Let's go first with blood related parents and their children. (Acts 1 - 2 spoilers)
Wyll and his father, Grand Duke Ravengard. We meet Wyll and we think that no one could ever see our good boy and think badly of him. Even after the change, Wyll is a hero. But later in the game he tells us that, well, his father banished him after his deal with Mizora. The pact that saved the city was what triggered the distance between Wyll and his father. And yet, the moment Florrick tells us that the Duke is in danger, Wyll just... gets his mind on it to save a father that gave him the cold shoulder, Wyll even accepts that it was his own fault and that his father did what he deemed best for Baldur's Gate.
I hope it has a nice redemption arch in Act 3, but to me is just a father not forgiving his son's mistakes (tho I firmly believe Wyll did as well what he could to save the city, I don't see it as a mistake but as a desperate action).
Isobel and Ketheric Thorn. Well, I need more data about Isobel's death, but. A father who betrays everything and everyone to save his daughter from Death? Man. I mean, sounds heroic af, right? Bad thing that Ketheric was a megalomaniac and the deaths of his wife and later his daughter drove him crazy. Yes, he loved them dearly, and he did horrible things to get his daughter back... but he did it out of love? Pain? Or he did just want to have control over things no mortal can decide? He didn't like that his only daughter started dating Dame Aylin, he lied to Isobel about her when she came back to life, and I doubt he was just worried about his daughter dating an aasimar. I think he wanted to have total control over Isobel, never allowing her to decide, lying to her, and then trying to kidnap her no matter the price. A morally grey character, Ketheric Thorn, and abuse can be triggered by the most instense love as well.
Dame Aylin and her mom, Selune. Well, I still have to play Act 3 (my pc crashed at this point when I get to the city 🥲) but she seems very happy being Selune's sword in Faerun, and she sees herself as a protector, and she loves Isobel dearly and openly. I can't wait to know more about her and Selune.
Parental figures that aren't blood related but I can't stop seeing as an abusive parent figures:
Shadowheart and Shar. Well, shit, right? Big spoilers of Act 2, if Shadowheart lets live Night Song, then you know how fucked up Shar is and how much has she hurted our cleric. Shar and her justiciars decided to kidnap a little kid in front of her dad and use the whole memory as a redirected trauma where they were considered Shadowheart's saviours instead of her kidnappers. Creepy, huh? And Shar is the coldest mother, Shadowheart could never be good enough, no matter how much she tried.
Same thing with Lae'zel and Vlaakith. What a brainwash. Giths are forced to fight between them, to kill the weakest of them, to never show mecy, just so their Queen (Mom) would love them and gave them her approbation. Of course, Vlaakith is a tyrant and she couldn't care less about her sons and daughters, but she still expects them to show respect. Giths aren't educated, they're indoctrinated. This is it, the moment Lae'zel betrays her Lich Queen for you and finds out about Orpheus, she redirects her devotion to Orpheus, no doubt.
Wyll, wanting to be the folk hero, Shadowheart wanting to be the best justiciar and Lae'zel wanting her red dragon are just symptoms that their inner child need the love of their parents and that they never had. They need external approbation. The Duke was busy ruling Baldur's Gate, Shar was being the Dark Goddess and Vlaakith was just getting stronger.
That's all fucked up parenting and it shows on how indoctrinated our beloved characters are. You don't see this trauma in Karlach, Gale or Astarion (they have different trauma lol).
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Parents huh? It's honestly really difficult to be one. I imagine it takes all your heart, soul, and then some more to raise a kid. But the thing that a lot of parents seem to forget is their kids are not just an extension of themselves.
This is especially true when the kid in question has been a "good kid". Heart seems to have been right? We don't get to really see anything about his life before he became deaf but we know he was happy (photos with his family), smart (meaning he was a good enough student to never get in trouble, probably even praised) and then this happened to him.
He probably trusted his parents when they told him it was safer for him to never go out. (the show is also set during COVID so that is there as well but I'm assuming this was something he wasn't allowed even before.) Something that happens as you grow up is you realise your parents are people. Which also means you stop having someone who's decisions you can entirely rely on and follow.
Asian parents especially i think have this belief that their sacrifice means you owe them a certain part of your life. It also means they think that what they are doing for you is enough. Which in Heart's parents case (...okay i really have no defense for them here they are providing him the basics i guess?) But it hurts that they won't try to communicate with their son.
He can read lips! He can sign. And if I'm not reading the story wrong, he did learn that by himself because he's not been allowed to go out since he lost his hearing. So he also knows it's not impossible. And he sees his parents everyday refusing to do that, probably making excuses for them in his head; till one day this boy shows up and makes the effort. Starts talking to him instead of at him. Probably for the first time in three years Heart felt heard.
Ik it isn't the most relatable thing to have your parents not speak your language, but it is very relatable to talk to them and feel like you are both speaking different languages. Like everything you're saying is bouncing off a wall.
There is obviously the more direct comparison with Li Ming and Uncle Jim but Li Ming has a fight to him. He will stand up for himself. Tell his uncle he's wrong. So Jim had to become more patient to start hearing him. (it's so beautiful to watch Li Ming and Jim's relationship grow.)
But Heart? He doesn't. So we get "let him be and hell be okay"
Seriously P'Aof?? Why do you do this to us🥺
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