A special edition of Cheap Date at New York Comedy Club for the Black Women in Comedy Laff Fest!
Friday, June 17th
Doors @ 6pm, show at 7pm sharp!
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FREE TRIAL WEDDING STYLE | L. DONGHYUCK
synopsis: when a random, cute, guy comes up to you and practically asks for you to follow along, you do so without much thought. that is until you get home and see he’s your new neighbor who just might need your help a little more than you expected.
pairing: fake-bf/new neighbor!haechan x oc
wc: 10.6k
genre: fluff, comedy, fake dating au, slice of life (?), wedding au
warnings: warnings, kissing, all that fun jazz (lmk if I miss any)
mentions of: 127, dream and wayv members, mention of aespa members
<3: special thanks to ash and briar for literally just beta reading anything I ask them to and for just being the best friends I ever could’ve asked for, they’re the real og besties and I love you guys sm 🫶
PART TWO: FIRST ANNIVERSARY
Looking up at the boy in front of you who seemed desperate for you to follow along, you clear your throat as you shift your eyes to his friends. “Um, I thought I told you I was coming here on break.” Awkwardly trying to come up with the right words, the boy watches as you look panicked and takes the seat in front of you. “It must’ve not gone through, babe.” He said, reaching across the table to place his hand over yours. You glared at him, making him immediately retract his hand and laugh it off as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“We’re out Haechan, text us when you’re gonna meet up.” One of the guys from what you can only assume was his friend group said as he got up and gathered his belongings. “What- wait I still wanna come.” The boy, who you just learned is Haechan, whined as he immediately stood up from his seat when his friends made way for the door. “Dude you’re here with your girl, catch up later.” The boy with blue hair gave him a knowing look which caused the boy, Haechan, to pout. “Actually, I was about to go back to work anyway because- yeah, so um it’s nice seeing you, honey?”
Haechan can see how uncomfortable you are and simply nodded as you grabbed your belongings. He walked beside you, making your way to the door before you two part ways. To his surprise, you go off in the opposite direction than him and his friends, not saying another word about the shit show you had to endure.
After the awkward encounter back at the cafe, you went back to work and tried to pretend it never happened. Rubbing your eye with the palm of your hand, you don’t get a good look at whoever joined in the elevator when it stopped midway to your designated floor. Too caught up in the oddly comforting feeling of rubbing the stress and sleepiness from your eye, you lean back with both eyes closed. “Didn’t get enough sleep?” You recognize the voice, humming as you let out a yawn.
“Why didn’t you take a nap on break?” You roll your head toward the voice, opening your eyes to see Jaehyun giving you a knowing look. “I had lunch away from the office and I’m honestly starting to regret it.” The ding of the elevator signals you to get off on your floor. Jaehyun follows behind, slipping his hands into his pockets. “What happened, did you try some weird new restaurant again because if you spend the next 30 minutes away from the desk again I’m gonna shred your computer.”
You furrow your brows, whipping around on your heels to point a finger into his chest. “It’s not my fault, okay, last time I tried that cheap fusion food truck and it gave me food poisoning.” Shuttering, you try to block out the memory of the last time you went away from the office for lunch which cost you a bill from the hospital and toiletries to keep you at bay. “Plus this wasn’t anything that happened with the food, this guy..I don’t know it was weird and I just wanna forget about it.”
“Suit yourself, but don’t be calling for me when your stomach starts to churn.” He says, walking away from you to enter the main office area. You sigh, running your fingers through your hair as you slip between the crowded area till you get to your own desk. Plopping down in your seat, your eyes immediately look at the brightly colored sticky note left by your senior editor. Snatching it from the base of your computer, you groan while crumbling it in your hand. “Someone’s sour today I see.”
“Maybe if Kim Jungwoo didn’t leave cryptic messages at my desk when I’m not there instead of telling me when I’m actually in the office then I wouldn’t want to bash his pretty face in.” Karina smiles at you, leaning against your desk as she watches you throw away the note into a bin. “Do I even want to know what that was all about?” You roll your head towards her, shaking your head before refocusing on the emails you missed. “Gotcha, speaking of pretty faces, Jae told me you met a boy at lunch.”
“How did he tell you that when we literally just got in?”
“He has a big mouth for such a quiet man.” Nodding along, you start to click through emails, sorting through which ones are important and which ones can be pushed back till you get home. “So.”
“So?” Karina smiled at you, leaning towards you as she wiggled her finger. “Don’t play dumb y/n, tell me about the boy!” Rolling your eyes, you shrug her off and go back to what you were doing before. “Uh uh, don’t do that, tell me pretty please? I mean when’s the last time you had a boy to talk about since your douchebag of an ex.” Fighting back a frown, Karina notices how stiff you get and gently rubs your arm. “I’m sorry, I know it’s still fresh.”
With a heavy sigh, you turn your chair towards her. “That’s the thing, it’s been two years and I still can’t seem to get over him or even mention him.” She continues rubbing your arm, knowing all too well how messy your breakup with your ex was. “I really can’t say much about him though, the guy I mean.” She nods, letting you know she’s listening. “He’s cute, I’ll give him that, kinda baby faced in a mature way if that makes sense and he seems almost childlike with the guys he was with but in the moment he was more desperate than anything.”
She smiles, playing with the ends of your hair. “Sounds like you like him.” You give her a twisted look, shaking your head at the thoughts you could only imagine that were starting to play out in her head. “No, uh uh no ma’am, don’t give me that look I literally just met him.” She props herself up on your desk, swinging her legs as her smile widens at your sudden defensiveness on the subject. “Karina, I promise you, he literally came up to me and pretended like we were dating! What kind of guy does that?”
Raising her eyebrows, she leans back on her palms. “Only the desperate boys who wanna slip your skirt d-“ The sound of a loud clearing of the throat caught both of your attentions. Looking at who was standing in the entryway to your small desk space, you see a very unimpressed Taeyong. “I’m not gonna ask what you two are giggling about,” he throws his hands up, wiggling his fingers with one while the other shakes around a manila envelope in the other, “But this is for you sent directly from Doyoung.” With a fake smile, you take the envelope that he ever so kindly handed over, snickering as he left off back to whatever he had found before.
“I hate to see what you did in your past life, karma is a bitch to you.” When your face deadpans, Karina throws her head back in a fit of laughter. You slap at her legs with the envelope, whining as she finds humor in your torture. “I don’t get why Doyoung always sends me the most complicated stuff, like I’m not the only person on the floor.” Putting emphasis on his name, you make a mental note to not get such a nice gift like you do each year for Christmas exchange. And if you’re wondering, yes you do get him a separate gift every year because you simply can. I mean, who wouldn’t, it’s Doyoung.
“Maybe because you’re one of the best editors on the floor.” Smiling, you lean back in your chair while tossing the envelope beside your keyboard. “You always know what to say to me.” Hopping off your desk, Karina flattens out the front of her pants before placing both hands on her hips. “Yeah yeah, work your magic and I’ll see you later.” You wave her off, facing your laptop with no intent on working on the pile of stuff in front of you.
After many excruciating hours sitting in your chair, you read the time and quickly gather your things to head home. You catch a cab to your tiny apartment, dragging yourself up the stairs in hopes you’ll actually make it to your bed before the mental exhaustion takes its toll. Reaching the top of the stairs, you see the door across from yours wide open. “I guess they found someone to fill the room.” You mutter to yourself, slinging your purse over your arm that doesn’t seem to stop sliding down.
As you’re putting your keys into your door, you hear scuffling behind you. “Oh hey neighbor.” Turning around, you meet eyes with the person you literally thought you’d never see again. “Oh, it’s you.” Haechan seemed taken aback, offended to his core when he gasped as he held his chest. “Nice to see you again, too.” If this was your final straw, your 13th reason, you’d probably let the world swallow you hole right on your doorstep and not bat an eye, but knowing Jungwoo he’d still find a way to drag you back to work in the morning.
“Sorry, I’m just too tired and honestly don’t even want to have this conversation.”
“What conversation are we not having?” You can’t tell if he’s genuinely confused and doesn’t recognize you, which only hurts a little, or if he’s just that pretty and that dumb. Maybe a combination of both to soothe your ego a little. “Y’know what- never mind, goodnight, neighbor.” You finally turn the key, unlocking your door and slipping into your lonely apartment. Dropping the bag by the door, you toss your shoes off and convince yourself a hot shower would wash this day away.
And it does, for the most part. Maybe it’s because you shampooed your hair and you feel ten times more clean or maybe it’s because hot water seems to cure every bad mood you had before you got into the shower. Now, you’re hungry and all you want is something warm and to snuggle with your cat till your dreadful alarm takes you away from your sleep. You’re in the kitchen, drying your hair with a towel when you hear a knock at your door. And another and another.
Your only guess as to who it could be was Karina, maybe she and her boyfriend got into a fight again and she wanted to blow off some steam at your place. You go to open the door, being met with a very sheepish looking Haechan who can tell your mood dropped a little at his presence. “What.”
“Okay, firstly ouch, is that any way how you treat a neighbor? I mean I just moved in tod-“
“I’m giving you five more seconds to tell me what you want or I’m shutting the dam-“
“Okay okay fine, uh, can I maybe, possibly just sorta hang out?” Maybe Karina was right, maybe this was your punishment for whatever fucked up thing you did in your past life and now you have to endlessly suffer as if you’re made of steal. Well news flash universe, you’re not, now lay off. “You’re kidding, right?” When his eyes drop down to his hands that he was anxiously rubbing together, you let out a sigh before stepping aside.
He looked up, his eyes almost bright as he looks into yours. “Come in before I change my mind.” Once he stepped inside, you expected him to sit quietly on your couch and do whatever he thought he was gonna do when he got in, but you were far from that reality. The quiet, almost shy, boy who you just so happened to meet twice in one day completely came out of his shell and is now sitting across from you on your floor while sharing a separate bowl of soup.
“So why did you name your cat peanut?” The pet in question, or conversation, came from the hallway and walked around rubbing his body against various things in your living room. “Because my brother is allergic to peanuts and peanut hated him so it seemed fitting.” He smiles, content with your answer as she moves his spoon around in the bowl. “You’re a bad host, you know?” With a mouth full of soup, you chew the contents with furrowed brows. He came to your door, invaded your space, is eating your soup and dares to call you a bad host?
“Excuse me, but you’re the one who came up to me at the cafe and practically forced me into going along with your story!” He scoffs, setting his bowl down in his lap while pointing his spoon at you. “You’re the one who went along with it, look where that got you.” You narrow your eyes, trying to weigh your options on what’s the best way to commit homicide. “Wait-what—why are you even in here again?”
“Well, see now that’s a good question.” His sudden change in demeanor was weird. He suddenly seemed nervous, shifting in his spot as he avoided your gaze. “I actually, uh, have something to propose. Well, more like ask a question if you will, it’s really interchangeable honestly.”
He mirrors you, watching you with hopeful eyes as you start shaking your head. “Oh no, uh uh, don’t even say it.” He hurries behind you, pouting as he watches you set your near empty bowl in the sink. “I didn’t even say anything yet.” You turn around, holding your arms out to prevent him getting any closer. “No, but I know what you’re gonna ask and I’m not—no!” Haechan tries to speak, being interrupted when you shh him. You walk past him when he puts his bowl besides yours, speed walking down your hallway to your room.
“Y/n, don’t leave me in here alone.” God he sounded so whiny, it’s kinda cute if you’re honest, but that’s more of a random thought than a compliment for now. “Wait- how did you know my name?” Turning on your heel, the two of you stop midway in your hallway. “The landlord told me, he said if I ever needed anything to ask my neighbor and I currently am in need!” You turn back, trying to block him out as you enter your room and desperately climb into your bed.
Haechan stands at the entrance of your room, pouting when you reach for your laptop beside your bed. “Do you know how insane this is, I mean we just met today and then you just so happened to move in across from me and now you’re in my apartment, practically in my room,” you take in a deep breath, laughing it out as you open the device in your lap, “and I already feel like I know what you’re gonna ask me and it’s so fucking insane.”
Haechan doesn’t say anything, looking at you with an awkward smile. If you knew him, you’d think he was enjoying this, but that’s the thing is that you didn’t know him. “I know this is crazy and you might try to call the cops, but just hear me out.” You scrunch your nose, staring at him from across the room with crossed arms. “Remember the guys I was with earlier right, they’ve kinda been on me about being in a relationship and in a panic, I saw you and yeah the rest you pretty much know.”
“Do you know how pathetic that sounds, to use a random stranger as a decoy for your love, or lack of, life.” He looks taken aback, almost hurt at your brutal honesty and it leaves a slightly bad taste in your mouth. “Look, I’m sorry for that and almost as sorry as the situation your friends put you in.” He shrugs, running his hands through his hair as he opts to sit against your doorframe. There’s an uncomfortable silence that settles between the two of you, both not entirely sure what to say next and not sure on what to even begin to say to make it better.
You stare at the unopened files on your screen, mentally weighing your options and trying to decide whether to kick him out and potentially file a restraining order or to give him a chance, both seem like they’ll end up in flames honestly. “Look, I’ve seen way too many drama shows and I have a feeling on how this is supposed to go—it may be because I’m sleep deprived or how sad you’re looking right now, but I’ll think about it.”
His face lit up, hope filling his eyes with a certain kind of sparkle that made you feel worse if you’re being honest. “I knew it was a good decision to move here, I just knew it.” He mumbled to himself, smiling as he got up from your floor and brushed himself off. “I’ve got work to do, but we’ll talk tomorrow..I guess?” Nodding, Haechan gave you a salute which made you laugh before turning on his heels and disappearing into the darkness of your hallway. You let out a breath, a breath you didn’t know you were holding and lean against your pillows trying to figure out what you just signed up for.
Just as you start clicking on files, Haechan comes running back to your door. “You should probably lock the door.”
“Oh yeah, that’s a good idea.” Pushing your laptop aside, you get up from your bed and follow behind him.
The days following your very awkward and yet unclear agreement, you would only see Haechan in the hallway when one of you was leaving as the other was just getting in. That talk you were supposed to have, yeah that never actually happened due to your sudden pileup of work that occupied your time. Just have you been all week, you were currently sitting on your couch with your laptop occupying the space on your lap as you wait for your takeout order. You’re about three-fourths of the way done with what you’re working on when you hear a knock at your door.
Setting the device aside, you get up and go to answer it with your wallet in hand. When you open the door, much to your surprise, you see a very awkward Haechan holding your bags of takeout. “You sure do order a lot of food for one person.” Raising one brow, you reflect the smile he was giving you. “And who said I didn’t have company over?” You step aside, letting him come in and he does just so. After making his way towards your couch, he sets the bags down on the table in the center. You stop to think as you close the door how comfortable he seems when he barely knows you and has only been in your apartment one other time.
“If you did, I probably would’ve heard because, you know, the whole being neighbors thing.”
“Oh so you’re stalking me now?” He rolls his eyes at your comment, plopping down at the end of your couch. “You wish you got that much attention, don’t you.” You grab the nearest thing, good thing for him that it was a pillow, and throw it across the couch—directly hitting him in the head.
“Now that’s enough for a restraining order!”
“Please, if you didn’t wanna be near me then why’d you come to my door?” Haechan got silent, looking down at his hands while you sat back in your spot and started unpacking the food. “That got real deep real fast.” The sound of his chuckle made you smile, making sure to lay out the food across the table for the both of you. Silently, he leaned forward and started to fill up his bowl with toppings of his choice. Both of you started munching down, occasionally setting your food aside to continue your work. “What are you working on?” He asked, leaning into your side to peak over your shoulder.
“Our contract for this unrequited love.”
“Haha, very funny.” Haechan’s sarcastic tone and expression to match made you snicker as you finished up on your report and sent it off to Jungwoo for review. “Just some final notes for an article.” He nods, seeming content with your answer. “That’s not a bad idea though.” When you turn towards him, confusion evident on your face, Haechan then elaborates. “I mean the contract or at least some rules to this,” he motioned his hand between the two of you, “because I can’t tell if you can tell, but I’m desperate as hell.”
“Brownie points for rhyming.”
If you could see whatever went through his head when you said that, you probably would’ve enjoyed it just as much as seeing him throw his head into his hands. “Okay, in all seriousness how are we supposed to do this—I mean we don’t know one another and I’m not very sure I can trust a guy who still plays Michael Jackson till three am.”
Throwing his hands up, Haechan looked both offended and taken aback by your sudden forwardness. ”Firstly, don’t talk about the king like that, he’s a classic and everyone should be blasting his music the way I do, secondly I get where you’re coming from.”
Over the next two hours, the two of you talked about yourselves to help one another get more of an insight of your personalities, laugh at poorly made jokes and eat your way through cheap takeout food. After all that, you two moved on to why he approached you and the reason behind his need for a girlfriend. “So you’re telling me that the tall one,”
“Johnny.”
“Right, Johnny, is getting married and he kept pressuring you get a date for the wedding and instead of telling him you didn’t have one you made up a girl who doesn’t exist and when the one with blue hair,”
“Mark.”
“Yes, Mark, pointed me out as your imaginary girlfriend, you had no other choice, but to approach me and hope I’d play along?”
Haechan took a deep breath, cringing at the way you broke down his story which honestly made it sound worse. “Yeah, pretty much and did I mention they went to meet you before the wedding?” Squinting your eyes, you stare at him with your mouth agape. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“If I was, would I seriously be sitting on your couch right now?”
He had a point, he could honestly be doing anything in the world, probably playing some video game, but like anything other than staring at you like you’re his only hope. “You’re lucky I didn’t call the cops on you or something like a, I dunno, normal person would have.” Haechan falls forward dramatically, grabbing both of your hands and squeezes them as he muffles what you assume is happy screams into your couch cushion.
The sudden move shouldn’t have made your heart jump a little, but it did and you’re not entirely sure why. For now, you’re blaming it on the fact that he’s insanely cute and the greasy food as you feeling a little beside yourself. “Your godsend, truly from heaven itself.” You pull your hands from his grasp, trying to hide the fact that your face feels like it’s on fire. “Yeah yeah, let me go before I reconsider this whole thing.”
“Let me at least take you on the first date before you try to back out—which by the way, will be next weekend at the actual wedding.”
You know that spit-take scene in movies where a person literally spits their drink everywhere because of the shocking news they just received, well that was you when he said that. Only this time it wasn’t in slow motion and wasn’t nearly as awesome, instead you choked halfway through spitting it out and it came back up and out your nose as you tried to save yourself from choking.
Haechan, disgusted you just spit all over him and also worried to see you nearly come to your end, gets up from the couch and searches your apartment for a towel to clean you and him up. When he comes back, you had slipped away to the bathroom to not only hide your embarrassment, but to clean yourself up and change your shirt. After what seemed like enough time to hope he had left, you went back into your living room to see Haechan sitting on the floor and using your couch as a back rest.
“Are you okay because that was—well that was tragic to put it kindly.”
“Can we not mention that, like ever for the rest of our lives would be good.” Sitting across from him, you fold your arms on top of the table, trying to avoid his gaze as you look anywhere but directly at him. He nods, understanding how overwhelmed you just be with all that he’s asking. You can tell by his stance how grateful he is for you and you use that to settle your nerves a bit. After all, maybe this would be a good thing. Maybe all of Karina’s talk about the universe and good karma might actually pull through.
“I’m sorry for roping you into all of this.” When you finally meet his eyes, you could see the sadness that lingered in them as he hung his head. “I don’t want you to think I do this for fun or I’m creepy or anything—I feel really bad for bringing you into something you didn’t ask for.”
Your chest felt heavy as you watched him slump against your couch. The last few interactions with Haechan made you feel like you’ve known him your entire life and seeing him so down had you feeling hurt.
“If you don’t want to do this, tell me please because I just- I don’t want you to go along with this because you feel bad for me.”
“I do feel bad for you, but that’s not why I’m doing this.” When he lifted his head, you could see the smile spread across his lips. “I see this as a an opportunity.”
“To what exactly?” When he leaned in, you did the same. He looked so familiar in this moment, so relaxed and almost kissable. But that’s the last thing you need to be thinking about when his face is damn near touching yours. “Two words: free food.” Watching Haechan gasp, you laugh as he raises his eyebrows at you. “Who said I’m going to pay for your food?”
Shrugging, you look down at your wrist and start to tap it with your finger. “Oh look at that, seems like you’ll have to find another girl who will help you, guess you might as well go ho-“
Haechan jumped up from his seat, moving around the table to grab your wrist. “No no, that’s okay—free food you said, that includes travel rights too?” You almost hate to say it, but this boy was making moves that damn near took your breath away. It sounds almost sad to be so swooned over a boy you hardly know, but there was something about him that just made you feel so at home. Maybe it was the way he laughs at every bad joke you tell or maybe it’s the way he’s way too touchy for your liking and yet you don’t seem to mind it.
Maybe it’s the way his lips are so plump and every time he pouts, you just wanna grab his face and kiss him till you’re out of breath. Maybe it’s the way his hand always feels warm to the touch and you could only imagine how you’d feel with his arms around you.
“Earth to y/n?” The snapping of Haechan’s fingers pulled you from your thoughts, blinking at him as if he was just apart of your imagination this whole time. “What’s going on up there that’s got you so spaced out?”
“Nothing, just thinking about what I’m gonna wear to the wedding.” Haechan looked at you a little longer, his eyes scanning your face to which you assume he’s trying to find something in your eyes. He seems to have bought it, backing away from you to create more personal space for you while he goes back to sit across from you. “Good point, we might just have to go shopping around this weekend to find a dress—oh and don’t forget one for the wedding so that makes two.”
“With what money, exactly? I mean I’m not broke, but I’m not paid enough to buy two dresses I’ll probably only wear once.”
He rolls his eyes at you, pulling his phone from his pocket when it starts vibrating. He doesn’t answer, instead he swipes right on the caller id and brings the device to his ear. From what you can hear from the person on the other side of the phone, you felt like he probably had something important to do. You start to get up, picking up the towels that he used to clean up the couch with. When you left to drop them off in the dirty basket, you return to find your door cracked and Haechan to be missing. Assuming he had went back to his apartment, you start to go and close the door before it swings. Haechan comes in, being followed behind by a guy you don’t recognize.
“Donghyuck, that’s breaking bro-code and you know it.” You’re a little confused as to why Haechan was called by another name, but you stay silent and watched the blonde haired boy cross his arms at Haechan. “I told you Yangyang, I’m not going to give you the girl at my jobs number—she already told me she filed a restraining order.”
Yangyang, the blonde haired guy you assume, pouts as he gets down on his knees with hands intertwined. “Pretty please, it doesn’t even have to be her, it can be someone else, I just need someone man—I’m lonely!”
You watch the dramatic scene unfold in your living room, getting a weird sense of deja vu. After clearing your throat to try and prevent yourself from coughing, both boys look at you with confusion in their eyes. “Are you the fake girlfriend?”
“I guess?” The question threw you off when Haechan’s friend said it so bluntly. “Stop asking questions and go to my apartment.” Haechan picked his friend up from the ground, shooing him out of yours and to the one across the hall. When Yangyang was now in his apartment, Haechan turned to you with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry for what you had to witness.”
“Don’t worry about it, I’ve had weirder experiences than that if I’m being honest.”
He nods, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks around the floor. “So, I uh, I gotta get back to him or else he’ll probably destroy my apartment.”
“I’ll walk you home.” Your offer had his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink as you followed him from your door to his. Right before he went inside, he turned around and, to your surprise, gave you a hug. You took him in, wrapping your arms around his as you two held each other for what felt like forever. “Goodnight, Haechan.” You whispered as he pulled away, smiling at him. “Donghyuck.”
When you looked at him confused, he shoved his hands into his pockets. “My name is donghyuck, but my friends typically call me Haechan.”
“So we’re not friends?” He shook his head, smiling so fondly at you that you weren’t sure what was real or fake at this point. “Only my special friends can call me Donghyuck.”
That night, his words echoed in your head as you laid in bed staring at your ceiling. You seem quite delusional for falling for someone who you barely know, but boy oh boy does he have you on the edge and you’re ready to give it all just to fall into him. You grab your phone from off your bed, scrolling through your messages till you find Karina’s name.
y/n: baby boo u awake?
naevis baevis: no ew go to sleep
y/n: I think I like him
naevis baevis: GIRL WHATT THE HELL DID I MISS??
y/n: i don’t know I’m IDK he’s got me feelin wheezy
naevis baevis: so he’s got you having diarrhea??
y/n: NO BITCH WHAT??
naevis baevis: tell me tomorrow at work I’m too tired for you and your pneumonia
As Karina swiveled her chair around, you sat on top of her desk while picking at the chipped polish on your nails. “So what’s his friend look like?” You look over at her with a deadpan expression as she wiggles her phone in her hand for you to see. “That’s the least important part of the story and instead of being a good friend you wanna ask about the random guy who practically begged for bitches on my living room floor?” She nods, continuing to wiggle her phone at you until you snatch it from her hand and type in his name.
“That’s all I get?” She frowns, scrolling through the pulled up suggested accounts with the same name. “Look, I only know his name was Yangyang and you better hope I spelt that right.” She looks focused as she continues to scroll through, clicking on an account and holding it up for you to approve—to which you did. “He’s kinda cute.” She coos, looking through his instagram feed while leaning back in her chair. “Karina.” You whine, nudging her leg with your foot as she giggles at her phone. She looks up from her phone, mirroring your pout as she sets the device down and folds her hands together. “Look, I don’t see anything wrong with it, he’s offering to pay for your dresses and he’s incredibly hot from what I saw on his friends page so I say it’s a win-win.”
“How do you know he’s incredibly hot based off his friends page?”
“Duh, you’ve described this man to me so many times I’ve practically seen him through your eyes at this point.” She had a point, ever since Haechan walked into your life, all you seem to do is talk about him and how he makes your stomach is filled with butterflies. “So when’s the wedding again?” You snap out from your thoughts, staring at her with shock. “Huh?”
“His friends wedding, when is it?” For some reason when she first asked the question, you thought she was talking about you and Haechan and that alone had your face turning a slight shade of pink. “Girl please don’t tell me you thought I was talking about your man.” You rolled your eyes, sliding yourself off her desk and pulled down the rolled up pieces of fabric of your pants. “He’s not my man.” She gives you a look that tells you she doesn’t buy your bullshit and swivels her chair back around to her computer. “Tell that to lover boy next time you see him.”
You ignore her last comment and head back to your desk, confused to see a note left by your keyboard. When you pick it up, you read that Xiaojun had eaten your lunch by accident and apologized via sticky note. Crumbling it in your hand, you plop down into your chair in defeat. You throw the sticky note in the trash and start to open up files on your computer when you hear the phone on your desktop ring. Answering, you continue to click open files with the phone to your ear. “Y/n’s office.”
“Hey y/n, it’s winter down at the front desk, this guy is asking for you if you’re not busy.” You check the time on your computer, shrugging as you pin a couple important things before closing off the rest. “Sure, I’ll come down.” After you hang up the phone, you let Jaehyun know you’re going to lunch in which he replies he hopes you get a stomach bug. One of these days you’re gonna poison his food you think—playfully of course.
After a quick elevator ride down, you enter the main lobby of your building and wave at Winter who was standing behind the front desk. She returns the wave with a smile and points over at Haechan who was sitting on a bench by the front doors. In his hand was a bouquet of flowers and his phone. “Um, are you stalking me because if you are then this won’t work, I draw the line at being creepy.” Your voice caught Haechan’s attention, closing off his phone and tucking it into his jacket pocket as he gets up and heads towards you. “No I’m not stalking you, I asked the landlord for your number and where you worked and surprisingly he told me in a heartbeat.”
You make the mental note to stop sharing personal information with your landlord before focusing in on the flowers in his hand. Haechan’s eyes follow yours, looking down at the flowers before handing them over to you. “I thought since I’m your fake boyfriend, I might as well be a good one for compensation on having to deal with the shit show you got sucked into.” You smile at the flowers, looking up to meet his eyes. “Thank you, for the flowers I mean.” He nods, rubbing the back of his neck as he tries to hide his smile. “So, you’re not busy are you, because I totally showed up unannounced, but I figured it was better to do that then text you and you block my number”.
“No, I’m on lunch right now and you chose the best option on that.” He nods, linking his arm with yours and immediately starts walking towards the exit. “Excuse me, but where exactly are we going and why the hell did you feel the need to skip with your steps?” He smiled and if you’re honest, his smile brightened up the entire atmosphere around you. “We’re going dress shopping, duh, oh and to get lunch because I’m a good boyfriend like that.”
You didn’t have time to protest before the two of you were off into the city. He gave you the choice for lunch, picking a taco stand near some shops because you felt guilty for him paying for everything. He would not let you bring out your wallet and even threatened to throw it out the window if you tried to spend your money. The gesture was sweet, but his seriousness made you tuck it safety away in your pocket.
Once you found a dress shop you were comfortable entering, you both entered and looked around before one of the staff took you away while the other walked Haechan around and helped him pick out dresses for you to try on. Once he found a couple different options, you tried them on and the both of you settled on your favorite pick for the first dress that you’d wear to the ceremony. Since the reception was going to be later in the night, Haechan opted for a different dress that was more covering so that you wouldn’t be so cold. When you came out in the second dress that he himself specifically picked, you almost felt too nervous to meet his gaze.
When he turned around from talking to a staff member, he visibly froze when his eyes met with yours. Panic starts to rush through your veins as you pull and fluff the dress in hopes that you don’t look like a total fool. “So, how does it look?” Haechan didn’t say anything for almost two minutes, staring at you with his mouth open. You snap your fingers at him, face turning read as the staff members smile lovingly at you both. “Sorry, I uh, wow.” You look at him dumbfounded, turning around to go back and change out of the dress. Just before you close the curtain, you could feel the warmth from his fingers wrap around your wrist and turn you around. “Breathtaking, to answer your question, you look absolutely breathtaking.”
“I meant the dress.” You mumble as you try to avoid his gaze. “The dress is just a piece of fabric, it’s the person wearing it that gives it such glow.” You couldn’t think straight, your mind going to mush with the lack of space between you and Haechan, the sudden smell of his cologne taking over your senses and his blown-out pupils making you feel almost dizzy. You nod, swallowing thickly as you pull yourself from his grasp and rush into the changing area. Embarrassing is what you’d call that, way too embarrassing to talk about and way too embarrassing to not forget. You opt to pretend it didn’t happen and get dressed. When you hang the dresses on the outer rack, you realize the dress Haechan picked didn’t have any coverage on the shoulders and by time you had gotten dressed, you saw him at the register.
“Where’s the dresses?” You ask, meeting him by his side when he gets his receipt from the cashier. “They’re bagging them up now, why?”
“The second one didn’t have sleeves, you wanted sleeves so I don’t get cold, no?” To see the smile on his face made you confused, there wasn’t anything particular that was funny nor did you say anything for him to be smiling like he just found a million dollars. “I only want you by my side in that dress, the rest doesn’t matter.” You snicker, shoving him as one of the staff members calls his name. He walks over, getting both dresses in their boxes and some simple instructions on how to take care of them in washing. “You two are a beautiful couple.” The cashier’s voice caught you off guard, waving your hands as you shake your head.
“No, you’re mistaken, we’re not together.” Her eyes flicker between you and Haechan, smiling as she looks away embarrassed. “Oh, I’m sorry, I just thought because of the way you two look at one another.” You were just about to ask her what she meant by that when Haechan came back. “Ready to go?” You nodded, following him out the store and back to his car where you two drove in silence back to your job.
He bid you a goodbye and told you he’d keep the dresses till you came by to get them. You promised him you’d be by after work and went back into the building with the biggest smile on your face. With the flowers in one hand, you scanned your ID badge when you entered the building and saw a bunch of weird states from your coworkers. You wouldn’t necessarily call the weird, but they were all smiling at you so sickly that you felt as if you were about to get pranked.
The ride up the elevator was also weird, a bunch of people kept giggling and smiling at you when asking about your flowers and it was starting to make you uncomfortable. As you got off on your floor, you walk down to get to your desk when someone grabs you and drags you into a janitor’s closet. You nearly scream when being jerked to the side until you see Karina with a shit-eating grin on her face. Now that you know you weren’t about to be chopped up into little pieces, you steady yourself and take deep breaths to catch your breath. “You’re fucking insane.”
Staring at her in shock, you slap her thigh to which she winces. “Me, insane? You just drug me into a closet like a psycho maniac and for what?” She giggles into her hand, leaning forward as she sniffs your flowers. “So he brought you fucking flowers girl? We were just talking about him and he shows up with a bouquet and a ring?”
You roll your eyes at her emphasis on a ring. “What ring, we literally—wait firstly who told you he brought me flowers?” She then proceeds to explain how Winter saw you and Haechan and then told Ningning who then told Wendy who then told Taeyong who then told Jaehyun who then told literally everyone. You make another mental note to hunt Jaehyun down and ruin his chance at having kids. “So spill the tea, c’mon, don’t be shy and tell me about your date.”
“It wasn’t a date, he took me to lunch which he wouldn’t let me pay for I might add, he brought me dresses for the wedding he coerced me to be his date for and then drove me back.” She holds her hand over her mouth as she stares at you with a smile. “So he took you on a date.” You then slap her thigh again as she giggles and an unfamiliar smell catches your attention. “What’s that smell?” She looks at you, considering what smell you could be talking about. You lean in, getting a good look at her to realize her hair had been messed with, her lips slightly swollen and her shirt was buttoned wrongly.
You give her a grin as she sees you connect the dots and immediately opens the door. “Oh no, come back and do spill the tea miss Karina!” She covers her ears, trying to block you out as you follow behind her and start pointing out the differences of her appearance from before you last saw her.
Later that night, you kept your promise to go over to Haechan’s, but only after you had taken a very much needed shower did you do so. When you knocked on his door, you could hear the music that was being played stop and a bit of shuffling before the door opened. You expected to see Haechan, but to your surprise you saw someone you weren’t exactly familiar with. The guy who was giving you a weird look was his honestly kind of cute in an intimidating way, but you stopped yourself from thinking that any further than you already did. “Are you gonna say something or are you just gonna stare at me?”
Embarrassed, you avert your eyes from his and try to think of something to say. You don’t know why you feel so under pressure, maybe it was the lack of expression in his face or the fact that he was practically your height, but made you feel small. “Renjun, was that the pizza guy?” You could hear Haechan from inside the apartment, his voice bringing a smile to your lips. Just as you’re about to go back into your apartment and give up on getting your dresses, Haechan comes beside to the boy you assume is Renjun and sees your visible uncomfortableness. “Y/n, hi- oh shit I forgot to give you your dresses, didn’t I?”
“No, no actually I was supposed to come get them, but that’s okay I’m just gonna uhm I’m gonna go home.” Backing away from the door, you signal to your apartment entrance behind you as you see Haechan pout. “Wait, why don’t you come inside and hang out with us?” Haechan, who slipped through the space between Renjun and the wall, made his way to you in hopes to stop you from leaving. Your eyes flicker between Renjun and Haechan, feeling almost guilty for wanting to remove yourself from this awkward situation. “Hyuck, I’m just across the hall, go have time with your friend.”
Haechan’s face softened at the nickname, nodding when his hand brushed against yours. He clears his throat as he steps back towards his apartment, waving at you goodnight as you go back in to snuggle up to your cat. Haechan re-entered his apartment, ignoring the look on Renjun’s face as he plops down on his couch. “What was that and why was that so weird?” Haechan shot a look over at Renjun when his friend started to mirror the look.
“What, I mean from what I just saw from you two, y’all have some weird tension that needs to be solved.”
“Nah, you just scared her away by being that ugly.”
Renjun sarcastically laughs at Haechan’s poorly made joke, flipping up his middle finger at his friend. “I have you know that women find me dangerously attractive.” Haechan snickers, trying to prevent himself from laughing too hard. “Is that what your mom tells you at night?” The last part is what lead Haechan to run for his life around his apartment as Renjun brought various objects for use of a weapon against his friend. Finally after the two made a truce, Haechan decides to text you after remembering how he never did give you his number.
You were a little surprised to get a text when you weren’t expecting one, especially at the hour that it came in. You had been on the phone with Karina while she filled you in on the reason for her shirt being undone and messed up earlier that day. “I literally don’t know what came over me, but I messaged the guy and he ended up being around and we just pounced.”
You laugh, clicking on the message app. “I can’t believe you nearly gave it all to Yangyang.” She laughs, wiping the tears that were in the corners of her eyes from all the giggling you two have been doing. “Me either! I mean I know he’s cute, but damn his lips are magic.” You hesitate to open the unknown message, afraid it could bad someone trying to scam you out of whatever you got and to be honest it wasn’t much, but you knew you wouldn’t let them have your cat peanut.
unknown: hey
y/n: uhm hello?
unknown: I miss u
y/n: I will literally block you
unknown: ITS ME ITS HAECHAN
y/n: ohh hi hyuck
You decide change his contact name and save his number.
boy next door aka hyuck: wyd :p
y/n: blocking you bc that was cringe
boy next door aka hyuck: you want me so bad oo 😵💫
y/n: don’t you wish I did 😏
boy next door aka hyuck: yes
y/n: I’m telling my fbi agent
boy next door aka hyuck: tell them I said i just wanted to text you so you’ll have my number
boy next door aka hyuck: and to apologize for Renjun earlier but goodnight for now
y/n: goodnight hyuck
boy next door aka hyuck: goodnight y/n
The rest of the week and a half that played out before the wedding only added more fuel to the fire in your heart that burned for Haechan. He would send you songs throughout the day at random times to which you started adding to a playlist anytime you couldn’t stop thinking about him. He would leave things at your doorstep or drop stuff off at your job for you to get on your lunch break. He occasionally would come over or you’d be invited over and the two of you would spend the night laughing at poorly made moves, singing old Michael Jackson songs at the top of your lungs, which is how you realized that he was literally gifted the voice of an angel, and play board games after the two of you had one too many drinks.
Each time you two were alone and it was late, it always seemed that you were avoiding the inevitable. You could always stop yourself from leaning in and stealing a kiss from his plump and precious lips, but that never stopped your mind from thinking about it. The tension that Renjun mentioned before seemed to only get thicker the more you spent time with him, making it harder to see the line between this all being fake and what was genuinely real.
The morning of the wedding to be specific was when you could clearly tell that the dynamic of your relationship had shifted and there wasn’t much room to turn back now. That alone terrified you because you weren’t sure if you had been the only one feeling the way you felt. You had changed into your dress and made sure to apply minimal makeup to keep yourself from looking like a burnt out clown by the end of the night. Thankfully for you, the dress was comfortable and the venue where the ceremony was being held wasn’t too far.
“Are you nervous?” Your question came unexpected to Haechan, turning his head to give you a quick glance over as he continued his drive to the ceremony venue. “Why should I be, I’m not the one getting married.” He smiled thinking about his friend and the future he was creating from this day forward. Haechan was genuinely excited to see Johnny become a dad and do all the things he knew he was fit for. It wasn’t like Haechan was scared for that part of his future, he did look forward to being married and settling down with his partner, but he never thought he’d actually get that far in life to do so.
“Dunno, just thought I’d ask.” You lean against the window, propped up on your elbow as you watch the buildings pass by. Haechan reached over, grabbing your free hand and intertwined his fingers within yours. A lot of the time he would do this and each time it felt so comforting that silence would take over and all that could be heard was the music that was being washed out by the beating of your heart for him.
You must’ve zoned out because by the time you tuned back in, Haechan was parking the car at the front of the building and waiting for you to realize you had arrived. You got out the car, instantly smelling the salty ocean air beige meeting him around the front of the car and bring your hands up to straighten his bow tie. He smiles down at you, shoving his hands into his pockets as you brush off his tuxedo and fiddle with his hair. You give him a puzzled look, watching as he shook his head and mumbled something along the lines about ‘that was cute’.
The two of you entered the building, you turn to glance back at the beach that looked so relaxing before linking your arm with his. A few people come up to Haechan and you, introducing themselves and complementing the two of you as a couple. You stayed quiet for most of the time, not exactly knowing what to say and Haechan didn’t seem that interested in the people as well. You spot someone familiar, well he’s not exactly familiar, but you had seen him before. The boy with blue hair makes his way over, you choose to step aside and watch as he hugs Haechan as the two smile and pat one another on the back.
“Dude it’s been so long, what’s going on?” After hugging Haechan, the boy you try to remember that is Mark, straightens out his tux, but never falters his smile. “I‘be been busy with work and oh- I want you to meet someone.” To be honest, you weren’t really paying attention when Haechan started walking over to you. His warm hand lifted yours and the sweet look in his eyes made your cheeks feel warm. “This is my girlfriend y/n, y/n this is my best friend Mark.”
You go in to shake his hand, surprised when he pulled you into a hug. “It’s nice to finally meet you, y/n, lover boy over here has literally been talking nonstop about you.” You smile, watching as Haechan mouths to you that he’s going to find your seats. After mark pulls back, the two of you chat a little by the same area, occasionally looking around for Haechan to find him talking to who you assume is his friends. “You know, you’re really good for him.” Marks words had you almost taken aback, turning your head to see him smiling. “At first, I was pretty hesitant because when he told me he had a girlfriend I didn’t believe him, but I’ve seen how happy he’s been and I can’t wait for us to meet again like this, it’s been a pleasure to meet you.”
“Meet like this again?” Mark look slightly embarrassed that you didn’t catch on, but he was being called by his date for the evening so he started to make his way off.
After the ceremony was over, everyone started to move towards the venue for the rest of the evening to conclude. A lot of people were left in tears, yourself included, by the vows exchanged between Johnny and his now wife.
When the two of you enter the venue, an overwhelming feeling washes over you and makes you grip his hand a little tighter. Haechan seems to notice, giving your hand a gentle squeeze as he guides you through the crowd of people who grouped around the entrance. Once he finds quieter space to pull you two, you were too spaced out to realize how close he had gotten. Both of his hands were on your shoulders, rubbing softly on the exposed skin to calm you.
“Hey, you’re gonna be okay, I’m right here y/n.” His voice brings you in from your thoughts, focusing on in the look in his eyes and how soft his features are in this moment. With a little nod, you let him know you’re with him and he smiles as you pull one of his hands from your shoulder and intertwine your fingers. He takes this opportunity to lead you towards your table where some of his friends you met earlier were seated. You immediately spot Karina and Yangyang at the mini bar just further down from the table and gave Yangyang a wave as he spots you and Haechan.
Haechan’s hand finds its way into the small of your back, immediately getting your attention as you turn your head towards him. “I’m gonna go get us something to drink.” He says, just loud enough to be heard over the music. You nod, standing behind your chair as you look over to the stage. Johnny walks up with the widest smile you’ve seen him sport since he kissed his bride and taps on the microphone a couple times. “Can I have everyone’s attention? Hello, everyone look up here.” Everyone goes quiet and the musics volume is lowered as Johnny looks over at the crowd. “I want to thank everyone coming out to celebrate me and my lovely wife coming together, this first dance will go out to all the new and older couples that are here, please join us in this dance to celebrate love that’s everlasting.”
Just as Johnny raises his glass, Haechan comes back and hands you your drink. You smiled as you took the glass from him and took a sip as the crowd raised theirs with Johnny. Just as Johnny gets off the stage, couples all start to make their way to the dance floor as Johnny gets to his wife and meets her in the middle. “We should go dance.” Surprised, you set your glass down and give Haechan a puzzled look. “Dance? But I don’t know how to dance and this is a couples dance.” He doesn’t take no for an answer, grabbing your hand and pulling you to follow him. “We are a couple.” You can’t exactly tell if he’s still going along with the fake dating charade for his friends or if the light in his eyes was genuine.
It doesn’t take much for you to give in, especially when the most romantic song Dandelions starts to play. Once he found a moveable spot on the floor, his hands circle around to your back and pull you in close. Your hands rest on his shoulders as you try not to make too much eye contact with him inches away from your face. “You’re so beautiful, y/n.” You could feel your cheeks heating up, trying to hide your face from him as you clear your throat. “Likewise, hyuck.”
“Just likewise?” When you turned your head to face his, he seemed a lot closer than you remembered and for some reason that terrified you and relaxed you at the same time. “I mean you are beautiful, very handsome and whatnot.” He laughs and the sound goes straight to your heart. You knew before you gotten to this point that falling for him would be so easy and so hard, but never did you expect for it to be this gentle. “I’m glad you think so, that alone gives me enough confidence to do what I’ve been dying to do.” You tilt your head at his sudden confession, watching as he leaned in and rested his head against yours.
You didn’t know what to do or even what to say, instead you opted to stay quiet and continue to hold him as the two of you danced. Somewhere between the end of Dandelions and the beginning of Golden Hour, your head was now resting against his chest and the two of you were lost in your own world. Haechan brought his hand up to your chin, gently lifting your head up. You blink at him, caught up in the music and the moment, not realizing what was about to happen nor did you want it to stop.
Haechan leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him further in. Your brain turned into mush and your body felt like it was on fire as the two of you were caught up in a slow and almost loving kiss on the dance floor. Haechan was the first to pull away, resting his forehead against yours as he catches his breath. You continued to sway with him, moving back and forth as you build up the courage to ask the question you’ve been dying for an answer to. “Will you be my girlfriend, like a real one this time?” Pulling back, you smile at Haechan who looks almost panicked.
“Because if not that’s okay too- like you don’t have to we can totally forg—“ You cut him off by pulling him back in for a kiss. He smiles against your lips, giving your hip a playful squeeze. Once the two of you pull back from one another’s lips, Haechan smiles which turns into a soft string of laughs. “What’s so funny, it’s not exactly polite to laugh after kissing a girl you know.” He tries to explain, failing to when he continues laughing. “Aren’t you glad you got a free trial?” You give him a puzzled look, watching as he steps back from you and spins around on his heel. “Free trial wedding style.”
You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing at the way he poorly described your fake relationship from the beginning, but he had a point. You look back and now thank the universe for bringing him into your life and can’t wait to see what it’ll be like from here on out. Who knows, maybe the next wedding you’ll be at will be yours.
©︎𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍., 2022
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Why
Pairing: College Student!Matt Murdock x College Student!reader
Word Count: 1128
Part 2, Part 3
You’d often laid awake cuddling with Matt, wondering if he was a figment of your imagination. It’s been three months since you’ve been together and it’s been nothing but perfect. You both fit together impeccably. There was something in the way he spoke, so thought-provoking and humorous, you melted whenever the thought arose. Maybe you both were still in the honeymoon phase, looking at your relationship through a tinted frame. Or maybe it was puppy love. Either way you hoped it would last forever.
As you both were living on a tight budget, you had to get creative with your dates. Nothing too expensive and it had to conform to both of your busy schedules. Dates were infrequent but you’d cherish the time you managed to spend together. Matt was slowly making his way into your heart. You tried to ingrain each moment with him into your mind, not wanting to forget even a second.
The tear jerking storm arrived and ruined everything you had built with him. This storm came in the form of a woman. A beautiful woman. And you didn’t want to be the type of girlfriend to prohibit your boyfriend from having friendly relations with other women. Had placed so much trust in Matt that you knew he would never do anything to belittle your trust. However, there was something about Elektra that screamed trouble and it terrified you. At first, you chalked it up to jealousy. Elektra was gorgeous and alluring and confident. She knew what she wanted and how to get it. Who wouldn’t be jealous of her?
It was beautifully tragic finding the man you imagined to be the one falling for another. The magic that once sparked now dwindled and flickered into nothing. You ignored the signs as he slipped away from you, bit by bit. She was just a friend, you foolishly convinced yourself as he kept mingling with her without you. Nights that could’ve been just the two of you were now lost in the haze. He spent them with her and the thought was just painful. Burying your head into the sand of willful ignorance, you inadvertently invited heartbreak.
As his birthday approached rather quickly, you planned a small date for just the two of you. Dinner at the small diner you both loved so much. It was the place where you both went on your first date. After dinner, you both would hang out with Foggy and Elektra (as Matt had grown close to her) at a cheap comedy show. It was a straightforward plan and yet, everything went wrong.
You waited for him at the diner, almost physically shaking from excitement, awaiting to give him the present you so desperately saved up for. The waitress knew you quite well as they’d seen you and Matt there quite a lot. They knew you were waiting for him and it became heartbreaking to watch as you realized he wasn’t showing. You called him multiple times without a single answer or text. You called Foggy but he had not seen him either.
Panic wracked your body as you feared if he’d gotten into an accident and it threw you into a fit of terror. The waitress was kind enough to guide you to regain your composure and asked if there was anything she could do to help. You declined before making your way to the nearest hospital. If he was in an accident, he would’ve been admitted into it. You prayed it wasn’t the case and he had simply forgotten. Keeping to himself with his phone off.
There was no record of him being admitted into the hospital and for a moment, you felt like you could breathe. You let Foggy know of your discovery so he wouldn’t spin himself into a frenzy like she had. As soon as you ended your call with Foggy, a new message surfaced on your phone screen. It was from Matt and relief swept over you in a calming wave. He was alright. He was alive.
Opening it up, your relief soon vanished and only heartache remained.
It’s not working out. Sorry.
Tears surfaced as you shied away from the bright white lights of the hospital. A text message. Matt broke up with you via text message on his birthday after you had planned a date. It shouldn’t have hurt so much but you truly thought he was the one. The one meant to stay. And suddenly the dreams you once had shattered with the words sprawled out on your illuminated screen.
Why? You wanted to text back but whenever you managed to have a semblance of control, your unsteady hands refused to send it. Your pointing finger would hover over the button but never touch. The wound was too fresh to bear the answer to the question that will undoubtedly keep you up at night. Maybe haunt you late into the night.
Were you not significant enough to say goodbye to in person? Were you so beneath him that facing you, listening to you weep over the ruins of a relationship, was simply not worth his time. Were you both on different pages of the same book and he tore it all up. The masterpiece that could’ve been the two of you.
A few days later, when you were returning the box full of his stuff you caught them, him and Elektra, making out in his dorm room. It hadn’t even been a week and yet he already found someone new. They stopped when they’d noticed you and didn’t even appear to be apologetic.
“What are you doing here?” He asked without a hint of guilt burrowing into his voice. It lacked any of the emotions tethered to a breakup. “How do you have a key?”
You grilled forcibly, as the love you once shared withered and died, “What are you doing here? Don’t you have class?” You, initially, chose to drop off his stuff when he was gone because you didn’t have the strength to face him.
“Didn’t feel like going.” He shrugged as if he was waiting for something. Maybe an outburst of rage or despair or both. You wanted to scream. You want to shout at him for causing you so much pain and question him if they were together at any point in your relationship but you were tired. It had only been a few days since the breakup and yet here he was resembling the tarnish memories of the two of you. It hurt so much. You felt there was a giant hole in the place where he carved a place for himself. He ruined you.
“Here’s your stuff.” You dropped the box on the floor and left Foggy’s keys on the table before silently leaving.
Masterlist
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It’s the Muppet Show with our very special guest star Cecil! (or, the post about my Muppet OC, Cecil)
DISCLAIMER: I am not an artist. That said, I think my drawings are neat and I like them, despite the low quality.
To find out more about Cecil, keep reading! And, if you’re interested in learning any other facts about Cecil that aren’t listed, ask away, and I’d be happy to answer!
Cecil is the Muppet Show’s resident poet, thespian, playwright and director.
As part of their act, they read out poetry or put on their own renditions of famous theatrical scenes (as an actor, playwright and/or director) often involving their fellow castmates and the celebrity guest stars. Sometimes, their act would be a condensed summary of a famous piece of literature, acted out by their fellow castmates and/or the celebrity guest star, and narrated by Cecil themself. Unfortunately, their monotone voice and direction ruins their productions. Cecil will accidentally instruct their performers to read several of their lines in the same monotonous way as them.
Their most notable traits are their lack of discernible emotion, their tendency to say profound things and their fascination with the macabre, which often disturbs Kermit and their other Muppet castmates to no end. Although their monotony can be misconstrued as apathy, they do care about their work and their friends (their closest friend being Scooter), so much so that they will endanger themself for both with little reservation. In the past, they sacrificed their dignity in order to bring joy to others, which carries over into their loyalty to their friends. A more subtle trait of theirs is their quick-wittedness. As they often look and sound deceptively melancholy and are known for their serious drama productions and bleak poetry performances, people tend to forget that Cecil is actually knowledgeable about comedy.
Before being cast in the Muppet Show, Cecil used to be a successful clown- hence their vibrant hair and their irreversibly pinkened nose. They come from a large family of successful clowns (all of whom share a small car). Whilst majoring in clown studies at Chuck L. Honks University (and minoring in stand-up comedy), they dated a girl from a nearby liberal arts college, who introduced them to literature and the theatre. Unfortunately, this girlfriend broke up with Cecil because she believed that Cecil hid themself behind a shield of humour and that they were incapable of being serious. They could only yearn from afar for this high brow life that they had only just gotten a taste of, and went on to graduate as the valedictorian; their speech was met with raucous laughter and thunderous applause.
They found working as a clown to be demeaning and cheap, despite the joy they brought to others. This caused conflict for Cecil, who didn’t want to rob the world of laughter. Upon realising how truly unfulfilling being a clown truly was for them, they decided to become involved in what they perceived as more meaningful art, much to the disappointment of their parents.
Initially, Cecil tried to find a happy medium between comedy and their desire to be a writer, so they created a sitcom called ‘A Funny Bunch’, which followed the wacky misadventures of a normal teenager and his all-clown family (sounds familiar, right?). The show was known for its ability to be simultaneously hilarious and its uncompromising tackling of serious issues that was groundbreaking for the time. Cecil wrote every episode of the award-winning first three seasons, and it was on the set of the show that they met Scooter, an intern who had been hired at the behest of executive producer J.P. Grosse. After Cecil left to pursue other projects, the show went on for four more seasons, which fans claimed was when the show saw a sharp drop in quality due to the absence of Cecil as the writer. Cecil is still very proud of the sitcom, despite pursuing more ‘serious’ creative endeavours.
Their debut poetry collection was met with critical acclaim, though their directorial debut- a stage production of A Streetcar Named Desire, starring Miss Piggy as Blanche du Bois- was panned for ‘the wooden acting of its lacklustre cast’. Thankfully, their acting debut as Ophelia was referred to as ‘not the worst part’ of a particularly disastrous production of Hamlet. Not long after the release of their short story collection, Cecil was cast in the Muppet Show, which allowed them to gain confidence as an actor and director.
Although Cecil became more immersed in projects they perceived as more meaningful than clownery, they have frequently referenced their past as a clown. On rare occasions, they have also been known to temporarily come out of retirement as a clown on the Muppet Show- typically to save Fozzy’s stand-up acts- much to the delight of the audience.
Following the Muppet Show, Cecil worked as a writer, particularly as a poet, playwright and screenwriter. They lost confidence in acting and directing after a particularly scathing review of their production of the Crucible, which they directed and starred in. Additionally, they dated Janice for a while. They travelled with the Electric Mayhem on tour for around a year, allowing them to work on their writing projects. Cecil got to see Janice and the band’s success first-hand, and as their own dwindled, Cecil concluded that Janice would be better off without them, especially after Janice expressed concern about their ‘like, totally negative energy’. So, they left without telling her and the band, and went back to living with Scooter.
When the Muppets reunited to save the Muppet Theatre, Cecil was finally convinced to return to acting and directing. They put on their favourite scene from Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (despite Kermit’s reservations). They also read Frost’s Nothing Gold Can Stay and Tennyson’s In Memoriam A.H.H., despite the fact that the poems are highly depressing and heavily implied that the Muppets are past their prime, if not deceased. The latter poem was particularly in reference to their breakup with Janice, who got back together with Cecil in the end.
As of 2015, Cecil is a writer and occasional performer for Up Late With Miss Piggy. They once appeared as a guest on the show whilst promoting their memoirs and the release of their upcoming film which they wrote, co-written and directed by Charlie Kaufman. During this period, the Electric Mayhem helped compose Cecil’s first ever song.
Cecil has learned to embrace their gift for comedy, so now writes for many well-received comedy-drama series, and they have even written a couple of comedy-horror films that are all critically acclaimed (such as the one referenced below).
Cecil’s best friend is Scooter. They became friends years before the Muppet Show, when Scooter worked as an intern on the set of Cecil’s sitcom. They are on-and-off roommates, but their friendship is constant. The pair of them are highly loyal to one another and always try to help each other out with things. Scooter will always give Cecil feedback on their work when they ask and will always buy a copy of their books (adorably, he also asks them to sign them). Meanwhile, Cecil will always speak up for Scooter when he needs someone to. All in all, they care deeply about one another.
Despite the fact that he’s often unnerved by them, Kermit appreciates Cecil. Even if they’re not much of an actor, and their direction leads to their actors speaking in monotone voices, Cecil will often deliver an oddly touching poem that will bring a tear to his eye. He also recognises their writing talent, and will always buy their latest book. Not only does he find them to be an asset to the show, but he also finds them to be helpful and insightful, and a really good friend.
Miss Piggy and Cecil are not close friends, but Cecil tends to direct her in their scenes, and will sometimes even act alongside her. Miss Piggy doesn’t care much for Cecil in the same way that she doesn’t care much for anyone, but she’ll always tolerate Cecil because they’re always eager to feature Miss Piggy in their productions. In fact, Miss Piggy starred as Blanche du Bois in Cecil’s production of A Streetcar Named Desire. Ever since then, she has held a grudge against Cecil for tarnishing her reputation like that. Miss Piggy often ends up expressing fury towards Cecil when they’re directing her or acting alongside her, because their monotonous voice and direction often undermine/ruin her own performances. One time, Cecil ended up asking Kermit to cancel their performance segment because Miss Piggy’s acting was ‘too wooden’. Miss Piggy proceeded to chase Cecil around the theatre in a blind rage for the entire episode.
Another frequent actor in Cecil’s performances is Gonzo. Most notably, he played the eponymous Raven in Cecil’s reading/performance of Edgar Allan Poe’s the Raven, in which Cecil took on the role as the unnamed Narrator (a painting of Janice, or ‘Lenore’, also appeared in the sketch). Gonzo and Cecil get along well as fellow weirdos. Cecil is willing to help Gonzo out with his stunts in any way they can, though they care about Gonzo’s safety enough to attempt to deter him from doing something too dangerous. Gonzo’s never read any of Cecil’s books, but he thinks their shows and movies are ‘pretty darn cool’, and he will excitedly rave to them about how much he enjoys them.
Cecil became friends with Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem during the Muppet Show, but was a fan of theirs long before then. They own a sizable collection of Electric Mayhem t-shirts. Of all the band, they are closest with Janice, Dr. Teeth and Floyd, and the latter two view Cecil as their ‘freaky little dude’. Dr. Teeth bonded with Cecil over their complicated family dynamics. Floyd has taught Cecil how to play the bass, though they’re not as good a bassist as him. Lips thinks that Cecil is cool and they get along just fine, and Zoot definitely has a few photos of them from Cecil’s time on the road with the Mayhem. Animal probably likes them well-enough, too, though it’s unclear. It was well known to everyone but Janice- and likely the rest of the Mayhem- that Cecil had a crush on Janice, something they expressed throughout the Muppet Show via love poetry that Janice had no idea was about her. Though, Janice would always compliment Cecil on their performances regardless. Their romantic history has been previously stated, so I won’t re-iterate it. Now that they are back together, Cecil finds themself a part of the Electric Mayhem’s polycule.
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ockiss24 - chigisa
Another fic for @ockissweek! This time with two of my fave girls :-).
title: i blinked (and suddenly i had a valentine)
pairing: charlie rosewall/nagisa yogo (@lilas)
rating: gen
word count: ~1.6k
[ao3 link!]
Charlie can admit, in the privacy of her heart, that she doesn’t know what the fuck to do about Valentine’s day.
Look, it’s never been a date that’s called for any special attention. She is a career woman first, a socially repugnant bitch second, and a total ignoramus with love last. Her experience with the holiday wasn’t one of a romantic nature. Each year, she gave her siblings each a box of nice chocolates and spent her evening in the company of whatever shitty romantic comedy she could find. For years, that was her routine. And she was quite happy for it, thank you.
That is, until she met Nagisa.
They’d met at an art gallery’s opening weekend and had bonded over some rather shoddy looking art that came off as unintentionally erotic, and not in any good way. Then they’d kept running into each other in the artist circles they both frequented but weren’t true participants in. Friendship never came naturally to Charlie, but theirs had been one she kept gravitating towards.
Friendship morphed slowly into attraction, and attraction developed into a baby crush, gasping and new but persistent. Anyone with eyes would have liked Nagisa with her generous curves and wicked smile like she always knew something you didn’t. Or, lacking that, ears to hear her tinkling laugh and lilting, light voice that bellied her alarmingly sharp wit. Nagisa is the kind of woman that’ll have Charlie counting her lucky stars that Nagisa ended up liking her back.
(That’s still something Charlie puzzles over. See: socially repugnant bitch.)
Well, that’s all great and good. She got the girl. Now she’s faced with the problem of how to keep the girl. Her humiliating inexperience with dating and woeful lack of knowledge is a familiar and irritating hindrance. What does she do? They hadn’t been together that long – six months – so what would be the most appropriate Valentine’s date for them?
Dinner was a sort of option, albeit a dull one. Most nice places were fully booked for the night as well, so Charlie would be left with lower level scraps. She’d rather not spend the night fighting for a dingy little table at the Chilis, thanks. Scratch that.
Movies were also common enough. That might be fine if Charlie or Nagisa actually had any interest in the current showings. When Charlie tested those waters, she found the interest from her girlfriend tepid, at best.
(“Oh, February showings are almost as bad as January ones, Charlie. Especially this early into the month.” Nagisa had said after one brief, unimpressed glance at the listings. “There is a fun little romcom I think you’ll enjoy coming out at the end of the month, how’s that?”)
So that was also off the table.
Simple gifts were also aggravatingly difficult to navigate. Everything seemed too… tacky. Overwrought. Who needed a giant stuffed teddy bear crowding their space? No one. Or a cheap little mug filled with cheaper chocolate? Gross. Jewelry and lingerie were too advanced and too personal – Charlie blushed awfully red just thinking about choosing a frilly thing for Nagisa to wear – and Charlie doesn’t want to look, gods, desperate .
She is, of course. She is terribly desperate to prove to Nagisa that she is a worthwhile girlfriend worth the months Nagisa spent pining for her, flirting with her, only to be met with the frustration of Charlie’s absolute ignorance to all of it.
She just didn’t want it to be so painfully obvious.
Ah, fuck.
Love is really fucking hard.
*
Valentine’s day descends faster than she would like and the only thing Charlie secures is a decent bouquet of roses and an hour away from work to surprise Nagisa at lunch.
Despite the anxiety that this plan is supremely lame, Charlie did her best to dress herself well enough to impress. She put on the trousers that accentuated the length of her legs, chose a lip color Nagisa had once commented made her look “very yummy”, and spritzed herself with the expensive sandalwood perfume she’d worn for their first date. For a bit of confidence.
She needs every ounce she can manage.
Her hands keep clenching the bouquet in harsh, nervous spasms, which makes the cellophane crinkle noisily as she makes her way to Nagisa’s office. The walk feels a bit like the times she’d been sent to the headmaster’s office in her youth. There’s an overwhelming sense of foreboding, like she knows she’s already fucked this all up and all she’s got to look forward to is a fitting punishment for being a lackluster girlfriend.
Oh gods. Oh gods.
She can’t fucking do this.
There’s no time to formulate a last minute escape plan because Nagisa spots her through the window. Her round face instantly brightens with joy, eyes crinkling and mouth spreading into a wide grin. As always, that sends Charlie’s heart into a helpless, wild flutter. No one’s ever looked at her with such excitement like Nagisa has. No one’s ever looked at her like her being there has made their day better.
Nagisa is already standing up from her chair when Charlie steps inside her cramped little office. She holds out the bouquet in front of her like a shield and clears her throat discreetly.
“I see you’re– Here.” Fuck, bad start. Nagisa’s smile only grows in amusement, but she is thankfully patient with her floundering. “I mean, ah, I’ve brought you flowers. As you can see them.”
“I do, and they’re so very lovely,” Nagisa coos and steps out from behind her desk. “And whatever are they for, Charlie?”
Ah, she’s not playing nice then. Sometimes Nagisa will pity her and her apparent fondness for tripping over herself from her own emotional stupidity.
Not now, she supposes.
“For– you know, Valentine’s day. I wanted to take you out to lunch.” Charlie says, taking a small step forward and is disappointed when Nagisa takes the flowers from her hands, because it means now her hands have nothing to do. They clench spasmodically at her sides. “I have a table reserved for us at that restaurant that you like around the corner. The Thai place? It’s for a whole hour, and I’ve turned my phone off so there’s no chance someone will bother me.”
Nagisa hums in interest as she closes the space between them, but makes no effort in stopping Charlie’s sputtering over explanation. Nagisa’s hands settle on Charlie’s shoulders, stroking the silky fabric idly, her dark and lovely eyes sparkling and clear with her affection. This has the effect of making her brain flare up like an overheated filament before dying.
“A whole hour? Will you survive without checking your phone every ten seconds?” Nagisa says in that familiar teasing tone that Charlie hates to say she loves since she’s usually at the end of it.
“Yes,” Charlie says, a little too fast. Nagisa’s eyebrows quirk in mute disbelief. “Yes, of course! I won’t even have it on the table.” When Nagisa only stares at her, Charlie fumbles, panicked. “Do you not want to do lunch? We don’t have to. We can– I can find something, give me a second–”
Finally, feeling merciful, Nagisa cuts her off by pressing a chaste kiss to her mouth.
“Love, aren’t you the cutest? Do I make you so nervous?”
Heat flares up with the strength of an inferno up her neck. Charlie blushes viciously and gapes like an idiot. “I– Perhaps! Is it so bad I want to impress you? This is our first Valentine’s. Of many, I hope.”
“Oh, how many?”
Kill her.
“Ah– As many as you want to give me. You can have all of mine.”
Killing her would be a kindness.
“How romantic! Charlie, you’ll have me blushing with declarations like that.”
Nagisa is certainly not blushing. She does look as pleased as the cat who's got the canary.
“Yes, well, maybe I’ll come up with more life altering declarations at the restaurant. We should really go, I don’t want to waste our lunch hour,” Charlie says in an obvious bid for retreat from saying all of that . “So shall we?”
Nagisa laughs and kisses her again. This time, she lingers. Her hand moves from Charlie’s shoulder to cup her jaw. She is so warm pressed up against Charlie’s front, all soft curves and softer touches and smelling sweetly of roses. Charlie relaxes quickly into the kiss, tension and anxiety rolling off her, her heart slowing from its rabbit-fast pounding, and curls her hand around one full hip.
Charlie likes her so much. Even when Nagisa loves nothing more than to delight in teasing her painful awkwardness, Charlie feels it is from a place of pure fondness. Becoming such a damn fool wasn’t something she envisioned, but it’s a fine exchange to stay in Nagisa’s company.
“Nagisa,” Charlie breaks away from the kiss with a contented smile. “Lunch?”
“Mmm. I guess.” Nagisa pokes out her lip in a dramatic pout. Charlie notes, with a hot curl of satisfaction, that her plum lipstick has smudged. “Yes, yes, let’s go, I think that curry I like will be perfect for today.”
They leave the office together, huddled close against the biting February wind. Charlie’s hand pressed against Nagisa’s back, Nagisa’s cheek laid delicately against her arm. They spend the hour in the cozy heat of the restaurant, laughing and holding hands across the table. Not once does Charlie think of her phone tucked away in her purse or the work she’ll have waiting for her.
As far as a proper first Valentine’s day goes, Charlie couldn’t ask for any better. Holding Nagisa, being kissed by Nagisa – this is already more than she’s ever dared to hope for herself.
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Been talking about 2gether here-and-there for a while but seeing your attitude towards it has got me itching to talk a bit about my thoughts on it. Because god, do I have thoughts.
So, I went into 2gether with low expectations. I heard it was subpar from MDL and I don’t like fake dating that much. But with a combination of curiosity over one of the biggest BLs historically and my personal interest in Bright and Win coming off the Bright cameo in Enigma and my enjoyment of Good Old Days, I went into the show. (Probably a different path from most to go from the non-BL to the BL but ahaha)
First thing. The show is very cheap. This shows even moreso because it’s BrightWin? Like, this was their first GMMTV show (and first for Win) so the company definitely didn’t have the drive to put as much money behind the show as they would for a show like F4 Thailand, but goddamn. Second thing. The music in this show was… huh. Were the guitars just not tuned sometimes? What are some of these? I say this as someone who actually loved BL singing, so it was a massive letdown I only enjoyed a few of the (very numerous) musical scenes. The OST for the show was great! But.
Sarawatine are character archetypes I really enjoy in general. I like weird, panicking, cheery bisexual losers (got me through Kiekoi!) and kind of grumpy and cold but devoted to their love interest guys. But the way the show wrote them was so disappointing? I would have expected so much more from the show for its main couple? Like, make me care about the characters, not just hope I’ll ogle at the hot actors and get through the show thanks to the scenarios, please. I usually don’t harp on physical intimacy between characters, also, but 2gether was so uncomfortable. And it sticks out like a sore thumb when the famous line of the show mentions kissing until dropping. There is NO kissing until dropping going on in the Sarawatine apartment, that’s for sure. And seeing some of the subpar acting between them just generally… I wasn’t enjoying myself much.
I actually found the show quite funny in certain scenes. Comedy is hard to judge a show on objectively, but I’ll say I did laugh. But I did not get emotional with the show, even when it wanted me to be. The Mil nonsense was hard to forgive, as was the “girl Sarawat liked!” Oh no! (My sarcasm could not be more embedded here) I genuinely started to feel pain watching the show because of how frustrating I found how Sarawat was dealing with the situation and how Tine was reacting. Like, I don’t care. Please. No one here wanted this cheap emotional climax. Especially after the weird time skip post-getting together.
And. The portrayal of women and the stereotyping of Green. All the women in this show are bland (but cute, thanks to the actresses, at the very least) or actively such a “girl who gets in the way of our BL boys!” that it hurts. And Green. I don’t enjoy when a show uses a feminine gay character as a source of ridicule. Green is seen as lesser by Tine and the others, and yeah, he acts like kind of a creep sometimes in the beginning. But the show writes him like that with a purpose. Of course the one who is openly gay and feminine is also the one pushing boundaries and being a predator. Amazing representation, 2gether. It got worse when it turned out Dim was abusive, and Tine just lets him in? And they get back together? No???? Like. Why. What. Who? Watching Still 2gether, I tried to pretend that whole scene never happened and DimGreen was just a tumultuous on-again off-again relationship, because I actually did find some of their Still 2gether scenes funny, but no. I could not forget. I appreciate the attempts at saving them by Aof, but no. Could not be undone. Green was funny as hell in the second season for me, though, so I’m hoping he dumped that abuser’s ass for good after the show ended.
MilPhukong was… fine. I felt absolutely nothing for them, despite the time invested. I actually quite enjoyed s2 ManType, just for the established relationship of it all and seeing them get along well, so I forgive them, but the s1 plotlines for them were questionable (Man, stop being a creep. Type, what are you doing with irt your brother? Really?)
I think Still2gether was an improvement (director change, yay!) but the emotions still didn’t work for me. I enjoyed the more slice-of-life style of the series and I felt the characters were more likable, but it was a short series with little actually going on. It did leave me off with a much better taste in my mouth, and better scenes all around, though. I imagine I could watch this season again and not groan my way through it. I’d probably even enjoy it if I take it as it is. The foundation can’t be forgotten, though. It is ever-present as a problem.
Oh, and here are some of my (very ineloquent) thoughts on 2gether as I live-blogged it:
This is stupid. Side couple on screen rn is stupid. Tine being a crying cannot communicate uke is stupid. Sarawat is being stupid.
Do not enjoy this simplification but I was very frustrated at the time. I still am.
Okay, now to pull back a little. I can totally understand why people would’ve loved this show. Because I’m 100% sure if I had watched 2gether before other shows, back in 2020, I’d have ignored most of the flaws out of my excitement for a show with cute scenes and pretty boys. Especially at the beginning of the pandemic, and especially if this was my first BL drama. I think that if you just settle into it with that mindset, you can find enjoyment in the show. And honestly, I’m very happy about that. That we’re at this point, with shows like Not Me, Last Twilight, etc. If 2gether is a show that seems horribly outdated now, in just a few years, I think that spells great things for the future of GMMTV BL, even if it isn’t a steady thing (looks at the tournament we’re in). And despite my words on them, I did in fact end up with a soft spot for Sarawatine. I think they’re neat in theory. In practice, not so much, but here I am anyway. The two of them definitely are important to BL, especially in GMMTV, and I respect them for that.
Don���t think I’ll ever rewatch 2gether, though.
I wanna preface this by saying that even though I really don't like 2gether, I don't rembember it in nearly as much detail as you do. I know I don't like it 'cause I immediately didn't while I was watching it and right after when it was still fresh in my mind.
Now, that said, some of the things you mentioned did spark recognition and in general I tend to agree with you. The Green thing, oh Iord! And the guitar........ Unlike you, I tend to shudder when BL boys bring out the guitar so for me that whole show was a real test.
Honestly, I don't need to go into detail more than this 'cause you already put it so eloquently yourself and I also understand what you mean about watching it back when it aired. I'm probably going to regret mentioning it but TharnType also aired in 2019 and is extremely beloved by some. I'm not saying I agree - and I'm generally wary of people who say it's their favorite BL ever - but I certainly understand it and my personal feelings about it too are so complicated I don't even know if I'd be able to put them into words.
What I'm trying to say is that while I have specific preferences and opinions on every BL in this list and many others not on this list, I respect that some of the judgements others have on them come from a very contextual and personal place. As is also the way I feel about the shows I hold dearest! Still, I appreciate the conversations we've been having on all of them 🩷
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Girls' Night: In or Out!
Girls’ Night, as usual on this blog, is a gender-neutral title, and I always advise my girlies- don’t date anyone you wouldn’t trust at girls’ night. I digress… This is my guide to Girls’ Nights- In, Out, and Safety Tips. Note: This is an adult POV- a post is coming for a teen sleepover, but this ain’t it!
Long post incoming!
Girls’ Nights In
Activities
Girls’ night in to me is about movies, karaoke, and questionable beverages that come in a multitude of questionable colours.
Drinking games: set one up for whatever movies you’re watching. Some suggestions of what not to do include “every time Elle wears pink” or “every time Meryl Streep sings.” You want a sensible amount of triggers… though, I mean, if you’re staying the night, you don’t need to worry about the next morning right?
Drinking Games I remember from Cheerleading Socials:
Medusa: Everyone, on one person’s call, holds their head down, and then looks up and looks at another member of the group. If you’re making eye-contact with someone, you both drink; if you’re not, you’re safe!
Who the fuck, what the fuck?: Sounds wild, but I promise it’s great. Everyone in the group creates a rhythm together by hitting their thighs and clapping in turn (but the wise will hit their chairs or the floor and not their thighs because I used to get BRUISES!). On beat, the first person will say “who the fuck, what the fuck can I get a [name] fuck?” They say the name of another person in the group, who then repeats, passing the call randomly to other people in the group. If you fall out of rhythm, you drink!
Most Likely To: I’m sure a lot of you know this one- a question is posed eg who is the most likely to kiss a stranger? And you point at the member of the group who is most likely to kiss a stranger. Whoever has the most votes has to drink.
Other Activities- drinking optional lol
Board games
Karaoke
Video games,
Photo shoot
Set a quiz
Absolutely set prizes if you can, just to add a bit of drama!
Food
I think delivery/take-out is almost obligatory, with my go-do being Chinese, Japanese, or pizza, personally, or a local fast food chain to which there is no competition BUT there’s no better group bonding activity than making food. Whether your skill level is Betty Crocker Brownies (a classic) or you’re a true Remy Ratatouille, it can be fun to bring something you made yourself.
You can do this in the style of a potluck, where all guests bring a dish, or you can pick recipes to cook together for the evening. You could try making something you’ve never tried before and doing it together!
Movies
This one is self-explanatory, and I’m sure you all have your favourites that you bust out. Personally, I’m bringing my partner into the world of girls’ nights in with Mamma Mia 1 & 2 back-to-back and following up with Grease.
Girls’ Nights Out
Drinking games that work better out:
Boat Races: get in two lines of equal length, everyone must be holding (ideally de-fizzed, formerly fizzy) alcoholic beverage, ideally of around the same amount of content. On a count down, the people at one end of the lines drinks, and the next person can’t drink until the previous person has finished, and so on until the end of the line.
Paranoia: this one works well out because its usually noisy! Someone whispers into the ear of the next person in the circle (pick a direction, left or right, but stay consistent). You ask questions such as “who would you want to live with?” or “would you kiss anyone here?” etc, and the askee says the name of one person present out loud, no context. If the person wants to know what the question was, they drink. If not, they never know.
Non- Bar Activities
Dinner- be eat a fancy restaurant or fast and cheap * Note, feasting before a night out drinking will help prevent hangovers.
Mini-golf
Bowling
Laser Tag
Theatre/Cinema
Arcade
Bingo
Ghost Tour
Escape Rooms
Variarions on Bar Activities
Karaoke bar
Pub quiz
Comedy club
Drag show
Wine tasting
drink and draw, wine and painting etc
Brewery Tour
Safety Tips
I’m sure you’ve heard the usual- take a taxi, walk in well-lit areas if you have to walk, travel in groups,and carry your keys between your fingers.
I want to encourage you all to come up with a code. You may have heard this one too, but I really want to emphasise it. My friends and I have had symbols to mean:
This guy is fine, seems harmless
This guy is giving pretty good vibes, actually
This guy is slightly creepy
This guy is Very Creepy, get me OUT of here
What I mean with “signals” is signs you can do with your fingers such as a thumbs up, waggle your pinky, or anything else that can be done clearly. If you have any issues with dexterity, try something vocal or facial, or even a tap system with a foot.
Something else to be aware of is Ask for Angela: A scheme exists in the UK in which anyone on a night out who feels unsafe can ask bar staff a phrase such as “is Angela working tonight?” Asking for Angela is used to indicate that you need help, and they can reunite you with your group, call bouncers/police, and keep you safe. Similar concepts have been used in the US under the name Angel Shot- you order an Angel Shot neat, and they’ll escort you to a car, on the rocks for them to call a taxi, or with lime in order to have the police called.
Make yourself aware of schemes that might be in operation in your area, and research if they’re well-used.
Hope you found this helpful! I'm back on my routine now that everything's sorted, so I hope you're ready for masterpost building. All suggestions are always open!
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Nihilus Rex, Ch. 14: Date Night
You didn't really think that yours truly could write this much of a story without some flat out tooth-decaying fluff at some point, did you?
I mean, who do you think I am??
But don't worry, @baelpenrose definitely did his part. Don't let his angsty ways fool you.
Hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science
Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me
Snow Patrol, “Set Fire to the Third Bar”
Lash
At six forty-five on the dot, I spotted Nils from across the parking lot behind the comedy club. His expensively worn-out leather pants made me feel a little better about having braved the kohl eyeliner and mascara, along with wearing clothes that actually fit instead of the baggy cargos I wore day to day. It looked like I overshot, though, because he started to walk right past me.
“It can’t be that bad,” I joked, grabbing his arm and startling him into turning around. I forced down the self-conscious feeling that tried to bubble into my throat.
He started and then turned and stared, pale face flushing. “I uh…I’ve never seen you dressed up like this before.” His eyes flicked up and down my outfit, then fixed on my face. “You look amazing.”
I kicked one foot playfully, looking down at my jeans and boots. “Usually I’m trying to avoid being noticed. Pretty sure these boots were made to grab attention - they’re vintage. Borrowed them from Mama, and don’t ask why she owns them, because I don’t want to think about it.” Thank god she did, though - cavalier boots were expensive, and these were actually real leather.
“They look good on you. So does the sweater.” Nils took my arm. “I believe I promised you a drink?”
“Yes, sir. One cherry bomb, let’s go!” I tugged on his hand, leading us to the door. Without batting an eye, I handed my ID and cover to the door guy, knowing he wasn’t going to look hard enough to do the math. Sure enough, he took the cash, handed back the card, and slapped a wristband on to show I was old enough to buy alcohol. Nils just arched an eyebrow at me as he did the same.
Once we were in, Nils let me lead him to the bar and delivered the orders - a cherry bomb and a Malibu sunrise. “You a fan of standup, or just the headliner?”
“Mmmm, bit of both,” I answered carefully. “Not a fan of the kind of standup that goes for the cheap jokes, but the headliner tonight is really clever. You don’t really expect the punchlines, it’s smart.”
“Gotcha. So, uh. What the fuck is a cherry bomb? I’m not like. A mixed drinks expert but I know my way around a bar and I’ve never heard of that one…”
“Ooo, you’ll have to try a sip,” I teased. “It’s cherry vodka and Redbull, kind of a big girl cosmo. Tastes like those sour cherry candies, the bright red chewy ones.” I paused for a second before remembering. “If they’re mixed right. Some places add grenadine, and then it tastes like cough syrup. They should be clear if they’re made right.” Our drinks were set down right then, and I grabbed mine, taking a sip before holding it in front of his face. “See? No color.”
Nils raised his eyebrows. “Swap sips? Thing I ordered is peach, rum, and coconut. Tastes like a melted smoothie, mostly - strong though, but it doesn’t taste like it.”
I reached for his, game for a little challenge. It was smooth, as promised, kind of like a fuzzy navel if it weren’t for the coconut. Not my jam, but not bad at all.
He took a sip of the cherry bomb and smiled. “This is excellent. Not quite my taste for a mixed drink, but amazing. Doesn’t taste like alcohol at all.”
“I know, right? Yummy.” I turned to scope out the room before settling on a table roughly mid way back on the left hand side. Without a word, I grabbed the first thing my hand landed on above Nils’ waist - either a pocket or a belt, I wasn’t sure - and started dragging him behind me. “Gotta snag the heckle-free table before it gets taken,” I explained when he yelped. Something wet sloshed on my arm, and I mentally promised to replace the drink I was probably now wearing.
“Sorry!” he grabbed a napkin and started dabbing at my sleeve as we sat down. “I did not mean to splash that on you.”
“No worries, it’s my fault. And it’s wool, don’t worry about stains or anything.”
“Ah.” He sat down. “How did you find out about this place originally?”
“Really bad day, and I wanted cheering up?” The look he gave me made it clear he wasn’t buying it, so I relented. “They actually found me. Needed some advertising done and some security cameras set up, paid me half cash and free tickets to a show. We’ve been loyal business partners ever since.”
“That makes sense. So you did some art for them and did the systems for the security cams? That’s pretty awesome.” He gave me a strange look, very obviously forcing himself to keep his eyes on mine. “So you take all your shady hacker friends here, or just me?”
I stretched, waving at one of my favorite servers with a grin. “Nah, this is my sanctuary, kind of. Somewhere I can just be young and normal, do completely legal work for legal-in-two-weeks pay. Please tell me you guys have poppers tonight? You were out last time, and it made me sad.” I pouted at the server with the biggest doe-eyes I could manage without laughing.
She scowled at me for all of three seconds before cracking a smile. “Double order, extra ranch?”
Nils pulled out a card. “Whatever she says. She’s just showing me around.”
I bit my lip to stifle the laugh when the server rolled her eyes and flipped her hair in mock arrogance. “Lashy-love does not pay for food. Anything but the drinks are comped.” She looked at me and rolled her eyes again. “New guys. What are you gonna do?”
His face! “I told you it was cute when you thought you won.”
He recovered with reasonable game. “You, Lash, are a genie and not the nice kind. Side note, you get better ‘free stuff’ contracts than I do - best I have is a nerd hobby shop that gives discounts.” He paused as he took another sip. “Though it is nice to finally get actual confirmation on your age. You’re 21 in two weeks, huh?” The lazy grin was back.
“For the record, I’m still trying to find volume seven of Battle Angel Alita,” I pointed out. “But yes. Lash Dalita is twenty-one as of a month ago. Elakshi is twenty-one in two weeks.”
“That’s your name? It suits you. Thank you for telling me. Still can’t use it, right?”
“I would prefer you didn’t, yeah. It’s… kind of the line in my mind that keeps my parents and sister safe. For them, I’m Elakshi. For everyone else, I’m Lash. Lash Dalita can get arrested without hurting my family.”
He nodded, somberly. “I won’t use your real name. Not unless you tell me I can.” he let that sit between us. “Question though - why Dalita? I’m not an expert on Indian or Pakistani culture, but isn’t ‘dalit’ the term for…low-caste, often discriminated against?”
Ooo, not so dumb after all. “It means ‘outcast, untouchable, undesirable’, yeah. It’s kind of a private joke - who chooses to work with the ‘poor, discriminated against girl’, and who steers clear.”
Nils visibly thought about saying something. “No One, apparently.” The tone made it clear that the word was capitalized. “I like your alias. Good signal for solidarity with people who need it.”
I winked as the plate of deep fried goodness hit the table. “You aren’t the only one with clever jokes.”
“Clearly not.” He gestured at the guy who’d taken the stage. “Warm up acts here normally good?”
“He’ll either make us laugh, or make us laugh at how bad he is. Worth finding out, right?”
“Oh totally.” Nils leaned back. “If I can ask, and you can tell me to fuck right off, how are your family doing since…” He left unspoken the obvious. Since the liens released. Since debt stopped hanging over their heads. Since we rewrote millions of people’s financial situations.
I lowered my voice as the opener started what looked to be a truly poor patter. “He’s being Baba - I promise that will make sense eventually. But he doesn’t fully trust good things, so he is putting what he would pay on the car and my student loans into a separate account, just in case he has to end up paying. He says worst case scenario, he has the money to pay, best case scenario, he has extra savings. Truly a win-win, insert self satisfied expression here. For him, that means he is happier than a pig in shit, honestly.”
“And, if i can ask, how are you feeling about no more student loans?” There was something urgent there. His gaze snapped back to the stage and he chuckled. “Wow, you weren’t kidding about win-win with comedy. Latter option, here, but hey, it’s a warm up act.”
“Poor guy, yeah,” I chuckled, snagging a jalapeno popper and drenching it in thick ranch. “Student loans weren’t a huge problem, for me, thankfully - I got lucky. Only had a loan for my first semester, so it was something just north of seven grand. I gave Baba the principal, he insisted on paying the interest because ‘usury is theft’, but it was something around seventy-five a month. I still give him the money, he sets it aside in savings, and I draw a couple more yaoi to make up the difference, just like before.” I took a bite of food and pointed at Nils with the other half. “By the way, South Park yaoi, real big right now.”
“I’d say ew but my most profitable artistic side hustle was Avengers Mpreg A/B/O garbage paid by the page, so…actually, fuck it. ‘Ew, but I’ve done worse’.” He shrugged. “Amazing what internet perverts will pay for.”
“Aww, A/B/O Mpreg not your jam? More of a tentacle guy?” I teased before giving an exaggerated shudder. “Don’t get me wrong, I have drawn entirely too many ovipositors and feet. But those so-called perverts pay really good money, so I refuse to judge them.” I did a mock toast before draining what was left of my drink. “Hmm. Water or another? The dilemma is very real.”
“I’m more of a ‘dangerous women who could kill me’ and ‘cute femboys and/or barra’ guy, which you almost certainly could have guessed from my everything, but that’s hardly the point. Also, I generally space drinks with water because it makes it take longer to get wasted and we’re gonna be here a while. Figure water first, then another?”
“I think we do both, since the water will get refilled automatically, whereas we have to get up to get drinks. Sound good?” I pointed at the plate between us. “Besides. While I am fully capable of eating these by myself, I have no intention of doing so.”
He laughed. “I appreciate you. And yeah, sounds good.” He picked one up and took a slow bite. “Oh, holy shit this is amazing. I love this.”
“The only place I know that makes their own,” I shook my head slowly in disbelief. “Fresh peppers, cream cheese, bacon wrapped, breaded, and fried.” I pointed to the ranch. “Don’t miss out on that shit, either. Extra garlic, extra salt, extra dill. Amazing.”
He dipped the popper in it and took a small bite, his eyes popping. “Oh my god. Lash. How did you..?”
“I will eat jalapeno poppers from any gas station or drive through… this is all the cook in the back. Who I joyfully would one day marry, sight unseen, if he weren’t already married.” I took another bite and chewed thoughtfully. “Wife’s pretty cute, though. You saw her.”
Nils raised his eyebrows. “Damn. Just a husband-wife team run this place, huh? Love it.”
I waffled a hand back and forth. “Sort of. Bartender isn’t family, and I don’t think they’re related to the owner. But if there is a good show, those two are always working. You can imagine she cleans up on tips, between the food and - I mean, you saw her.” I gave him a sardonic look, knowing good and well the man wasn’t blind, no matter how much he was trying to make a good impression. Michelle plus pulse equaled crush, it was just physics.
“I can imagine.” He seemed to decide to take a chance, after weighing his thoughts for a second. “If I may be so bold, though, my attention was rather occupied by another young woman.”
Thank fuck the lights were dimmed, I thought as my face heated up. “Glad to know the effort hadn’t gone to waste,” I blurted out before I could stop myself. A hand immediately flew to my mouth and my eyes widened. “I - I didn’t mean…. Oh, god, I said that out loud…” I groaned and covered my face with both hands.
Nils was smiling, but it wasn’t his usual, something-far-away, private-joke smile, with something else he was thinking about. It was a sincere expression, with an amusement entirely in the moment. “Apparently I’m not the only one who trips over my own words sometimes either? But no, Lash.” He blushed. “I’ve noticed for a while. Hard not to when we did all that together and I got to see firsthand how brilliant you are, how hard you go for…everything.”
Applause erupted around us, and I was relieved to see the poor opener had finished his set. I felt so bad for him, but right now I was too embarrassed to do more than clap enthusiastically that neither of us had died of humiliation. “Hold that thought, I am going to get our next round of drinks. You flag down Michelle and order waters. No lemon, they don’t wash them. And if she asks, tell her tap water. It’s the only kind they have, but she asks sometimes to figure out if people are going to tip or not.”
Nils nodded, face flushing, hopefully harder than mine. I took off to the bar, holding up a twenty to get attention. “One shot of vodka, neat. Then a cherry bomb and a… shit. Malibu sunrise! That’s it.” The shot was delivered first, and I downed it immediately to calm my nerves. When the other drinks appeared, I stuffed the twenty in the tip jar and paid with my card before heading back to our table.
“One Malibu sunrise, as promised for spilling the first one,” I proclaimed, setting the drink down with a flourish before taking my seat. Two glasses of water and an empty shot glass were already there, and I barely set my drink down before tipping my head back with laughter, tears coming to my eyes. “Same brain, I see. I had one at the bar.”
“What’s your shot of choice?” The grin was back, even if the flush was still sort of there, as he, seeming to act almost by instinct, had stood up as I’d come back and sat down.
“Stoli,” I gasped, carefully dabbing tears from my eyes to avoid smudging my makeup. “Just the right price point that I don’t feel bad throwing back, but doesn’t burn or taste foul like the cheaper stuff. You?”
“Jack Daniels. Cheap whiskey, you know. My grandfather was the first one in the family to make any money, said he really liked the kind of cheap stuff he grew up with. Kind of a soothing thing, and he and I were close.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but shrugged.
“My family doesn’t drink except for holidays that require it,” I confessed. “We aren’t Muslim, by the way. A lot of people seem to think that, like I’m some black sheep or something. Baba just doesn’t get the point of drinking, and Mama is too much of a control freak. But Holi…. Hooo, you should see them.”
“Hindu holidays then? Tell me about some of those. Google only gets me so far and I want to know more about you. What’re they like?”
“We’re… culturally Hindu, I guess you could say. On Baba’s side. Mama is culturally Jewish, actually. It’s a weird mix when it gets to holidays - Holi, then Passover, that kind of thing. Funerals are very emotional. Beef and pork are pretty much just out of the question at home, in general. Mama isn’t observant, so fermented foods are okay, and Baba would die without yeasted bread, I swear. But both sides are very family oriented, so any excuse to get together is always an unbelievable amount of people. I gave up keeping track, honestly.”
“Big family get togethers. That sounds awesome. Complicated, but beautiful. Energetic, amazing.”
I wanted to ask Nils about growing up Catholic - a kind of sterility I couldn’t even fathom, honestly, in my messy, emotional family - but the headlining act came on and wasted no time in doing her audience work. “Hands up if you’re married! Keep them up if you came without your spouse! And whose spouse has already messaged or called…”
I took a long chug of water before I started laughing, knowing that I had about thirty seconds before I would start choking otherwise. Sure enough, the first person in the crowd was called upon and Nils’ drink went spraying on the floor as some poor woman called out that her husband had texted asking where the ketchup was.
“Okay, yeah, see why you love her.”
“They asked if we had any clean towels!”
I nodded, my face hurting too much from laughing to give a good response. The second an older man shouted out that his male partner texted to ask if the partner had already had a hysterectomy, I knew any conversation was done for the rest of the set.
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Love to Hate You:
It's a romcom, so remember not my typical genre. So while I'm hit or miss about it, the fact I'm finishing it already means its pretty awesome to keep my attention even though its not even a genre I like
The guy with long hair is so hot, so lovely, I'm Suffering. He's from Flower of Evil (played one of the bad guys) and is an excellent actor at horror and, apparently, comedy. He plays a guy who can't act which is <3. Truly our flight attendant girl is living my dream. Id also be !!!! And like??? What OTHER dramas is he in??? Because I really do think he's an excellent actor, I want to see him in more
So the genre is romcom. But to sell it to my mutuals: it's got an action movie being filmed in it so the lead actor guy does practice fight training and movie stunts, and the lead lawyer likes to do vigilante fights and later trains the actor guy and does some stunt work. As a result, thankfully for me, there's a few cool fight scenes every so often to keep me engaged ToT. Now no one's life is in danger and it's not high stakes plot wise lol, so most of the fights don't keep Much of my attention... but hey I'm happy there's more than zero action scenes at least
I really REALLY like how this show handles tropes. Or rather, how in many ways it totally avoids them.
By that I mean: it occasionally calls attention to kdrama romance tropes like rich ceo/poor girl, older man oppa/younger woman, man paying for woman once they marry, dating a celebrity in secret. And then it intentionally (which I think shows very nice writing skill) does not use the trope in the way its usually done, or if the trope IS used then it's used very intentionally and for a plot purpose deeper than just using it to signal something with a cheap writing shortcut. Like... you might write a pretty girl into a "lawyer for rich man" role and then have the rich guy see her and find her cute, her swoon over him, and you the writer get to Skip explaining WHY the fuck these people would like each other (besides physically). Whereas in this show the writing intentionally does not make it easy for themselves by dropping into a preexisting trope Just to rely on it. The lawyer is hot to the rich actor, but she pissed him off by tripping him first meeting so he doesn't automatically think of her as cute or even a love option. She initially sees him saying rude things about women, so her first impression of him is NOT liking him and her further impressions are full of her making surface judgements and acting in a way she finds morally superior but then eats her bitter pie when she runs into reality eventually. The writing does the work itself of showing What these characters would ACTUALLY interact like if they run into each other, what it takes for them to grow and change, and what work it takes for them to actually grow crushes. It's the harder writing choice, but also (for me) a much more satisfying one. It means I can trust the writers to actually have reasons and character development for choices made, and for when tropes are used, instead of fearing anyone will be ooc or some shortcut in a romance will be made (whereas i find gradual believable builds more satisfying). Now that said, a trope can and is satisfying also when used just the way its intended when the characters are written To Work in that trope and match the trope used (crash landing on you had multiple "opposite sides argue fall in love" and the characters FIT that story type well). Just for me, I can also really appreciate when a show uses tropes that don't fit it by actually developing things until they naturally do fit it. Idk I hope I'm explaining well ToT
Basically, it's relying on its own writing vision. I don't feel I'm being dragged through a narrative that relies on tropes, instead I feel I'm having a fun story journey that sometimes features tropes either when they actually fit or as an intentional subversion (such as the main actor disliking younger women/older men dynamics and oppa, the lawyer hating relying on a man financially, and the ceo/flight girl matching a dynamic but the flight attendant girl aware and Trying Not To be that way, the bitter ex at yeos work being both a jerk but also... not sabotaging her or clinging so ridiculously he becomes a huge obstacle, that would've been the easier conflict writing choice but the more interesting choice I think is what they did... to not make him as big a deal as other conflicts, the intentional way women actresses are written in this almost comically annoying says something too... and while I think it misses the mark somewhat in that it feels like it shallows the actress characters, I think it does succeed at showing them as like "how romcoms paint women in fiction sometimes" versus the flight attendant and lawyer and older actress who act more like women you meet in real life which is an interesting contrast Within a kdrama itself)
I'm really into long haired guy please what other kdramas was he in... ;-;
It's actually funny af at times. Now if the humor lands is really gonna depend on you. I personally love when comedy in a genre is self aware, and subverts sometimes or does realism over genre norms, and this show is Aware it's a romcom and uses romcom norms to make some of its jokes. So they Really land with me lmao.
I actually really love the actor guy. I love that 1 he has such a close friendship he gets read as gay by strangers, cayse let's be real having a friend that close is Nice (and in my experience platonic love is far more obtainable and reliable at times than romantic love so it's nice to see BOTH leads have such good platonic friendships with people who basically partner them in life). Actually all friendships in this show come off as important, which I value a lot in a romance story. But back to actor guy: I love that he's 36 and single. I love that his first ex hurt him so bad he feels repulsed kissing. I remember after my first big heartbreak, I'd cry when trying to get intimate with new ppl. It's nice to see not everyone reacts the same, sometimes people take pain hard and take years to process, that it is an ongoing process. I like that he's slow to date and is mindful about slowly opening up. I like seeing that kind of character on screen in general, and especially in a romance where I feel like it's not as often. I like that he isn't the only character with some baggage and mindfulness about falling in love (or even just dating) a new person. Adults have baggage, people in their 30s have had failed relationships sometimes and scars from old messes. Seeing every character have their own way of coping with their scars and either embracing being open to xonnection again like the old actress, or fearful (in some ways both leads), or interested in dating but unsure if it's time or who it should be with (ceo and flight attendant) is nice. It's realistic. Real romance isn't absolutely perfect and quick, it's a process with yourself of risking being vulnerable and trusting and attempting to connect to another, and them doing it too. And I like that this show feels realistic in That way.
It is rather nice, I'll admit, to watch a show where the only big stake is heartbreak (and a lost paycheck). I like high action/suspense More. But I get the appeal. If anyone has other romance recs that have Realistic romances (as in like this show the tropes are at most a bit wild but portrayed in a realistic mostly grounded way and Most Importantly the characters feel like real flawed adults just trying as people do), I'd be open to checking them out. (I guess if it helps? I liked the romances in Crash Landing on You and Flower of Evil, but they're more suspense than Just Romance lol)
I like the way this show Balances some Outlandish tropes with realism, so it's like a middle ground? You DO get to enjoy the fantasy of a person dating an actor, but with an imperfect portrayal of an actor with regular flaws, you DO get a rich CEO but hes also got a lot of ppl depending on him and emotionally doesn't think about himself as much as everyone, you do get a capable woman as a lead but her heart doesn't give much of a fuck about actual love so it's a struggle to Get to possibly loving).
Anyway if some romcoms are your thing, this is a fun show so far
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On 24th August 1947 the first Edinburgh International Festival (EIF) of Music and Drama opened.
Rudolf Bing, an Austrian impresario who had fled Nazi Germany, wanted to create an international festival in the UK. After various searches Edinburgh was proposed by Henry Harvey Wood of the British Council, supported by both Sir John Falconer, the city’s Lord Provost, and Lady Rosebery. In 1945 a festival committee was formed which decided that 1947 would be the earliest possible date - and that the Festival would be a chance for Edinburgh to create a new post-war identity as ‘the cultural resort of Europe’.
The first Edinburgh International Festival began on 24 August 1947, with an aim to ‘provide a platform for the flowering of the human spirit’ by bringing people and artists together from around the world. One of the highlights of the first year’s programme was the reuniting of conductor Bruno Walter with the Vienna Philharmonic and Walter’s comments set the seal on the future –
‘What you have done in Edinburgh is one of the most magnificent experiences since the war. Here human relations have been renewed.’
The “Festival” as it simply known in Edinburgh is now the world’s biggest arts festival, in over 300 venues, thousands of shows from around the world entertain people from, well around the world too, it is said the population of my hometown more than doubles at Festival time.
It’s not all comedy, and theatre, there are now many aspects to the festival, first you have the Edinburgh International Festival of Music and Drama, that’s the one that started on this day 73 years ago, it’s the professionals who get paid for being on stage in what ever guise they don, the thing was at the beginning it was invite only, and only eight companies were invited, so some set up their own shows, hoping to not just entertain, but hopefully earn a few quid in the process, this took the name The Fringe, it was been so successful it soon became bigger than the “Official” Festival and over the years most acts just wanted to be in Edinburgh, any chance of earning a crust went out the window, many performers save up all year just to come to Edinburgh and appear, sometimes in front of only a handful of people, if you’re lucky!
There was no real organisation during the first years of The Fringe, it wasn’t until 1951 when the sign of any communal activity occurred in 1951 when Edinburgh University students opened a drop-in centre at 25 Haddington Place. This was used by many Fringe performers as it provided cheap food and a bed for the night, oh to be able to find a cheap bed nowadays!
It was 1954 before Fringe groups held their first meeting to discuss the possibility of working together. “We are cutting each other’s throats” was a quote from one of the groups. It was the logistics, the non-performance aspects, that they saw as a problem and the establishment of a joint box office and publicity mechanism were given high priority. The first Fringe programme was produced in this year by C. J. Cousland, an Edinburgh printer, as seen in the second pic. The Fringe now outstrips the EIF by an insurmountable amount, but as I said earlier most shows struggle to make a profit.
Eventually, the Festival Fringe Society was set up in 1959. A constitution was drawn up, stating that elected officers should oversee the running of a box office, produce a programme brochure that would include every event that was not on the International Festival, and run a club where performers could meet, eat, drink until late, and generally feel involved.
This post is, like the Fringe, getting to large, I like to keep them short so having covered the main two, here is a quick run through of the rest of the Festival, as we know it now.
Pipes and dancing took place on the Castle Esplanade, and in Princes Street Gardens, from 1947, the year of the first International Festival. It was eventually superseded by The Edinburgh Military Tattoo in 1950. Under the direction of Brigadier Alasdair Maclean, there were eight items in the first programme. There were no stands in that first year, the audience watching from the side of the Esplanade. Stands were erected from the following year, growing to its current size when it houses an audience of around 9,000.
The Edinburgh Art Festival is a fixture in the International Festival programme, the early 1950s arguably being the golden period. However, funds were withdrawn in 1973 and the visual arts were relegated to “associates”, i.e. linked to but not directly part of the International Festival. In more recent years the associate tag gradually disappeared and it began to rely on The Fringe programme to provide external advertising of its wares.Most Edinburgh folk will remember the Ingenious Campbell soup cladding on the pillars of the Scottish Royal Academy for the Andy Warhol exhibition in 2007, it’s certainly my most memorable memory of the Arts Festival.
The Jazz & Blues Festival is a 10 day festival, spread over a dozen venues, which spans late July and early August. It began in August 1979 at the Adelphi Ballroom, Abbeyhill, which had a capacity of 500, and it was held over a single weekend. Like all the festivals it has grown over the years and for a short time they had “Jazz on a Summer’s Day” which attracted a bigger crowd than any other single jazz event in the UK, it was held in Princes Street Gardens, but the commercial folk that run things in Edinburgh basically fucked things up by allowing a Spiegeltent event to take over the space in the gardens in 2010 and that aspect of it has not returned since, which is a shame.
Edinburgh International Book Festival was first held in 1983 and was an instant success with 120 authors attending, including John Updike and Anthony Burgess. The 17 day festival is now sited in Charlotte Square Gardens, at the western end of George Street, converting it into a tented village for the duration. The 2016 festival, with an attendance of circa 230,000, boasted of appearances by over 800 authors, poets, illustrators, journalists and politicians from 55 countries.
The pics speak for themselves, except the last one, it’s me with a guy called Masai Graham, he is from Birmingham and throughout the year is a carer, but he is also a great fast paced comedian, and a master of the pun, He has been in the top ten jokes several times through the years, and this year won for the second time with the joke;
“I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta”
In 2016 his winning joke was;
“My dad suggested I register for a donor card – he’s a man after my own heart.”
In 2015 he came 4th with;
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
You still have time to catch Masai in Dropkick Murphy’s on Merchant Street, check the programme here
https://www.freefestival.co.uk/venue.aspx?VenueID=188
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Fic I'm not gonna write: Wednesday edition
So this is the barest structure of an idea with some loose spitballing of what I'd like to see in a version of the show Wednesday that was maybe catered a bit more to my tastes. I don't know how much I like some of the ideas, but I thought I'd share some of them anyway. Sorry, this turned out very rambly and incoherent.
The core of what Wednesday didn't do for me was 2 things: it's a CW show, and, uh, the dialogue seemed dumb some of the time I guess.
I think I would have liked to see a campy comedy about Wednesday Addams attending a private school for actual weirdos, not just a bunch of cool teens doing love triangles or whatever. Not trying to hate here (apologies if I'm failing that attempt), but that stuff isn't my thing. Also no toxic family dynamics within the Addams Family! That is like the easiest fish in a barrel the writers could have ever shot and somehow they missed!
The foundation of the show or fic I'd make is that it has to be silly first. Think Homestuck: take a bunch of very wacky stuff and let it spiral out into something genuine and dramatic. Populate the school with campy movie monsters and monster-adjacent weirdos, then show what it's actually like for those people to live like that, and let drama ensue from serious lived experiences you never expected to take seriously.
If there's a grand conspiracy or mystery or big bad, it should fall in line with that idea. Absolutely ridiculous, but in a way that all of the high tension and melodrama extend out of. Something that ties into the tangled mess of spooky magic and relationships in the school, or something tied to fundamental structures that everything grows out from (like a central magic system, the origin of the school, whatever). I like the second one better, but the first is more fitting for an Addams Family series.
Some of the more shaky and specific ideas that I'm less attached to:
Base the houses or cliques on the Four Horrors theory. Separate your campy movie monsters into your Gothic Horror types (where Wednesday gets sorted), your Nuclear Horror monsters (I'm not sure where you find Kaiju small enough to fit in the school, color me stumped), your Lovecraftian kids (I'm thinking Night Vale inspired, maybe a core cast member who's like the floppy awkward fish people version of the Deep Ones as portrayed in the Innsmouth Comics), and the Slasher Students.
You could shove the Our Monsters Are Different tropes up its own ass? I don't know that this is a dead horse worth beating, but you could do that, if you humanize the characters at the end of it. I imagine that Wednesday gets introduced to the different kids as she's walked through her new school, the person showing her around says something to the tune of "I think you'll find the vampires here a little different from what you've seen in the movies." They gesture to a broody teen who's clearly an unapologetic Edward Cullen parody, in a joke that seems 12 years out of date. Then another vampire boy in a cheap Dracula costume with a cartoon Transylvania accent comes up and fist bumps him. A later episode sees these two boys try to force Wednesday into a love triangle, basically wingmanning each other. Wednesday isn't having it, but she gets entangled in their complex personal issues- not sure about the Dracula kid's deal, but we learn the Edward kid is pretty fucked up- he never mentally aged past 17 over the last several decades, he's caught in a mentality and role he's incapable of changing or breaking out of (like the Winter Court Fae in Pale), and there's a perception-altering field that everyone else treat him like a normal teenager. Wednesday somehow cottons on to the existential nightmare he's living in and helps him to actually grow up a little. Maybe in her very blunt and confrontational way, or with a strange and chaotic prank. These boys aren't in Wednesday's friend group, and don't function as anything but side characters most of the time, but when it comes time for things to go bad in the finale, kids who got spotlighted in episodes like these show up to support Wednesday with the Power of Friendship.
Actually, reading that, I think part of the issue is that Wednesday really functions best when she's in an antagonistic relationship with someone. I feel torn between thinking the series should put her against a preppy authority figure a la Addams Family Values, and forcing her into a situation where everyone's so much like her there's no authority to rally against. Probably the latter inside the school, and the former in the local town of meanies. Sort of like what the Netflix show does, but you know, less CW-ish.
IDK how to allude to this without spoiling it by implication, sorry: one of the Big Bads is played by the same cast member as the actual show. They get to be dramatic and chew the scenery and face off against Wednesday in a more intense way, and are better tailored to be a good foil for her character. I liked the idea in the show, even if the twist was a bit obvious after a while.
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Frosty Ruins Tuca and Berdie
I immediately hate this show for the same reason I instinctively disliked Bojack Horseman...it looks fucking ugly and it looks ugly in the exact same way. In fact I hate Bojack Horseman even more now because I blame it for this show existing. It looks cheap as hell and the stylistic choices seem geared towards making the show as cheap as possible, like a flashback sequence that's all static images and has no dialogue.
The shows intro music is just as irritating to the ear as the art is offensive to the eyes. And for some reason it begins with a building that has giant swinging tits...what the fuck...why? Oh wait nevermind I know why. The show like Bojack is an unholy abomination of animal and person where they take animals and make them humanoid in the worst most uncanny valley way possible. Right from go these horrid creatures are sexualized because you can't draw the furry crowd if there's no thick bird ass within the first ten seconds of the show, and how can you corrupt kids without making a show that looks like it should be for them and filling it full of imagery that fosters degenerate sexual fetishes in the impressionable. This is just on Netflix, so it's not like it used to be with adult cartoons where they weren't on tv until after midnight and it's not like there's a specific network of shows all designed for kids...there's just going to be some kids skimming through Netflix seeing this and will end up seeing stuff like this...which is the only sexual imagery from the show I’ll post but there are worse examples.
Now I'm not arguing that content for adults can't exist because a child might see it...that would be stupid. The problem is that other than the sexualized content there is nothing at all to indicate this is an adult show. It's written, animated and done exactly like a regular kids cartoon. I cannot see a regular adult watching this for entertainment. Everyone talks in that matter of fact condescending way bad kids shows do, so to me it seems like a show designed to corrupt kids pretending to be a show for adults as a defence. But hey if what you want from a comedy show is to see a humanoid houseplant whip out her tits then boy do I have the cancer... I mean show for you.
You also know it's going to be a good show when the first few minutes of the show begin with a character introduction where the writers list off all of their characters attributes like they're creating their eharmony dating profile. See most writers would just write scenarios and plot that communicates how they want their characters perceived, but this way relieves them of the responsibility of good writing which saves time and effort and also communicates a lack of respect for the audiences intelligence, which is great because they are right...if you watch this you're stupid and it's good they know that. And if literally spelling it out for you wasn't enough they add brilliant dialogue like this "I'm nasty I bring a lot of zest to my environment." Which I'm fairly confident is the first time anybody on earth has ever said those words in that order.
The show is full of these bits that are not really jokes and have nothing funny about them but are done in that over the top manner that you see at a bad improv comedy show, you know the kind where they have to compensate for not being funny with bright costumes and high energy. Bits that are so bad you're not even sure what the joke is supposed to be and you're not even sure what's going on. Like for example they have an upstairs neighbour who's a dog but he's fancy and says words like mayhaps...ha ha get it. And he calls out mournfully to a cloud floating by and calls it "his sweet henry." What is the joke here? It's like the voice actors are just in a studio picking up random objects, putting on random characters and spouting a bunch of silly horseshit and hoping something from it is intelligible or funny. Like comedy by attrition. But hold on to your hats if you think a sassy tucan jumping on a counter and rapping about borrowing a cup of sugar is funny.
Everyone knows that one person who's not funny but can't stop joking around, the kind of person who is always on and can never be serious for even a second and no matter what you say they're just thinking of how they can turn it into a bit. There's actually some evidence this is a sign of brain damage, there have been relatively normal people who suffered brain damage and had it alter their personality and they just suddenly couldn't stop joking. And they keep going even when everyone is just giving them that okay shut up it's not funny kind of nervous not real chuckle...like here's your laugh now please stop kind of laughter. This show seems like five of those brain damaged people got together and this is what they came up with. It looks like a show made by the brain damaged. It's constant silly horseshit but none of it has any point, there's no jokes, there's no perspective.
At one point the two characters were talking and one said something about how the other lets her eat her snacks and the other started to chuckle... and it leaves you dumbfounded at why the writers thought that was a joke, why they thought it was a good and natural place for a character to laugh. And it accidentally comes across like that nervous annoyed laughter you give those brain damaged everyday comedians.
If you've ever worked a cashier job you know what I'm talking about when I say this show seems like it was made up entirely of customer jokes. It's Like they just put a microphone facing outward at a CVS counter and then wrote down what all the 52 year old male customers said to try to get a smile out of the 20 year old behind the register. Forget the improv comedians tight five minutes this show is Doug the retirees tight ten seconds. “Oh you’re wearing a yellow shirt today, heh leave some yellow for the rest of us huahhauahauh” You’re not funny, but you could definitely be a writer for Tuca and Bertie.
Then they must have realized that the episode had yet to be funny even once so they, like Kramer at a comedy club... scrambled for shock laughs at the end. Only since racism is now a capital offence they had to go for something a little tamer like cannibalism. And had one character crying eating his dead grandma who was baked into a sentient cake..ha ha... comedy.
Man fuck this show, this was the stupidest thing I've watched in a long time, it was hideous and criminally unfunny and also completely unoriginal. It’s one of those shows there’s 50 of now and if you’ve seen one episode you’ve seen them all.
F
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list of things I don't like about stranger things because I'm grumpy
season 1: not a whole lot.
- the duffer brothers are not very good at writing bullies.
their bullies are annoying to watch and I've never felt any sense of danger when they're around.
when mike is about to jump off that cliff? I don't buy any of that.
give me a henry bowers writing his fucking initials on a kid's stomach, don't give me a bully that just makes a couple of mean jokes and expect me to believe he'd force mike to jump off a cliff. that kid would be scared his mom would ground him.
- also not a huge fan of nancy not really having a personality until after barb dies. I get that that's kinda what they were going for, but I'm not a fan.
season 2:
- I get that the narrative they were going for had eleven separated from the group, but wHY
- eleven has barely had any fucking contact with real life people, but put another girl in front of the boy she likes and she'll be jealous. wtf was that for? stupid as hell and I hate it.
- season 1 had three groups: kids, teens and adults. and that was enough. el going on her own just didn't work and slowed the way thing off. will and mike going with the adults while the other kids are doing their own things works well enough, but the most enjoyable parts of the season are always when everyone's working together, and the writers just seem to not want to go there for some reason.
- not even gonna talk about the el traveling episode. that was bad.
season 3:
- it turns out that I also don't think the duffers are good at comedy. the beginning of season 3 has a lighter mood that didn't really blend well with the actual plot, so when episode 4 comes along and things start happening I'm...confused.
- also why four fucking episodes of set up?
- season 1 had a lot of "hopper punching people and getting too easily into government facilities" but here they raise that to a 100 and it takes me out a little bit too.
- what I hate most about this season is: hopper. every fucking thing he does is played for a joke. hopper wanting to break up el and mike? HILARIOUS. hopper being mad at joyce for not going on a date with him (????????wtf????)? WOW FUNNY AS HELL GUYS
I love hopper, but so many of those things felt out of character and it makes it harder to enjoy the rest.
- they also don't know what to do with nancy and jonathan this season. those two only work for the plot and don't have a whole lot of emotional motivation for anything happening this time around, even though they had a Tough Time in season 2. no, that's all behind, they're 100% fine.
- the more comedic timing works well for robin/steve/dustin I guess.
season 4: here we fucking go
- let's say I like the hawkins story and that's mostly it
- I'm actually incredibly fucking mad about the way they treat eleven. the whole thing with angela and the bullying in school felt cheap, not entertaining, and ridiculous. this kid was truly raised in a lab, and they think her being bullied is the best story they can come up with?
the fact that they chose to get el back in the lab, only to give us a villain origin story, and then proceed to go on with the story like it wouldn't affect this fucking kid is fucking absurd as well.
- this season the character that forgot about their previous trauma is will. now he's only gay with a crush in his best friend and that's all there is.
- mike is so out of character it almost made it seem like they were going to make will x mike happen, which is hilarious. 10/10 one of the weirdest writing I've ever witnessed.
- listen, they have to know that they made a plot driven show and not a hangout one. but they keep adding people to the cast, and giving too much time to side characters that are not as interesting as they think they are, and wHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- lucas and erica being the only people attacked by the racist boys..............I know these writers are white but christ, this was bad
- most things with the hawkins gang (except for them tying to make nancy x steve a thing again) works so well. they can't look at the other subplots and think they work just as well. it's just not possible. it can't be
I think I'm done. bye
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PREVIEW - All Riddled with Flaws and Just So Painfully Human…
Discussing the Inspiration, Challenges and Themes within DLT’s Lobby Hero
With many of our community theatres wrapping up their 2023-2024 seasons, Dundas Little Theatre has seen great success with their equally impressive productions of Arsenic and Old Lace in the fall and Grand Horizons this past winter. They close their season with a morality (mixed with comedy) play by Kenneth Lonergan which delves into the themes of heroism, justice and how flawed and human we all are.
I had the pleasure of a virtual interview with actor Claire Shingleton-Smith (CSS) and director Gregory Flis (GF) who provided some keen insights and observations about the play itself, its themes and characters and how this show will provide audiences some real moments of discussion about our own community and the concept of heroism within it.
What influenced you to audition for Dundas Little Theatre's Lobby Hero?
CSS: When Dundas Little Theatre first announced their shows for this season, I had someone suggest I read this script as they thought there was a role for which I might be interested in auditioning. I then went home and read a few scenes of Lobby Hero and was immediately both captured and intimidated by the script and the character. Dawn is such a powerful, complex, and nuanced role and my fear of not doing her justice crept in and convinced me not to audition at first. It wasn't until Christine, our producer, approached me at a theatre event only a few days before the audition date and suggested that I come out, that I got the courage to do so. I knew this was a story worth telling and hoped I could bring to the table what Gregory was looking for in Dawn.
How do the themes of Lobby Hero impact you as an actor and how have the cast navigated the play as both a morality piece and a comedy?
CSS: The themes of Lobby Hero are certainly heavy but they sort of hit you slowly as an audience member. The script is really well-written that way. Racial injustice, sexual coercion, power imbalances -- these issues are rooted in many peoples' everyday experiences so I don't think any of us felt unfamiliar with the themes in the play, but that doesn't make them any less uncomfortable. I am often drawn to plays with difficult themes; I find it really powerful to play women who have overcome difficulties or have stories rooted in some injustice, so as an actor I have some experience with separating my own emotions from my character's experience.
I think the difficulty with balancing the comedy and morality piece has been in toning down some of the impulses to milk the comedy moments into farcical or outlandish cheap laughs - there is a risk of going over the top, and making the characters too clownish or cartoonish that could take away from the reality of it. Really a lot of the comedy should come from the reality of the moment, the believability of the characters, the situational humour. I do think the comedy in the text saves the show from the heaviness of the themes becoming too overwhelming to digest so it has helped in portraying some of the more tense moments. The dialogue has to keep the audience engaged and interested and I think the lighter moments do that nicely.
What challenges, if any, have you faced while bringing your character to life and what have you taken from the experience?
CSS: I really love playing the role of Dawn because the challenges brought forward have given me opportunities to learn and grow as an actor. I mean, for one, I've never had to do a New York accent before, so learning and practicing that has been a fun challenge.
On a more serious note, though, I really did struggle at first with playing a police officer. Dawn is new to her role as a cop and is someone who really believes that you can do good and make a difference by "catching the bad guys." I personally think that there's a lot wrong with current police structures in North America, and policing in general, and don't necessarily see it the way she does. I do think the play, as a whole, acknowledges the systemic issues with policing and the justice system, but Dawn, herself, really believes that she can make a difference. Part of the backstory I created for Dawn was that after the play ends, she ends up moving up in the ranks and making changes that improve the system, so doing these types of exercises has helped me connect with her. I had to come to an understanding that she is at a different point in her learning journey than I am.
Another challenging aspect is brought forth by the really dynamic writing of the characters by the playwright -- they are all riddled with flaws and are just so painfully human. While I connect with Dawn on so many aspects, a lot of the choices Dawn makes are things I would never in a million years do, and at times make me want to yell at her and say, "What are you doing!? Stop that!!" because you know she will regret it. So, I have really tried to rationalize and understand why she makes her choices and take the little tidbits you get in the script about her upbringing and family that give you a peek into how she developed as a person.
What inspired you to direct Lobby Hero?
GF: I was intrigued by the edginess and the black humour of Lobby Hero. I also wanted to work again with the people I had met doing two recent productions at Dundas Little Theatre. There is a strong group of committed individuals here who have made recent productions particularly successful. Michelle Chin, our set designer, and her crew are particularly creative, and they work hard to build a set simultaneous with the development of staging and character growth.
For those unfamiliar with this show, how will the production speak to audiences?
GF: Many good stories, perhaps all, start with the question "What if...?" Lobby Hero demands its audience members answer that question for themselves. What if you were in the position of one of the characters? Sometimes audiences don't like that: it's discomfiting. But that's exciting for the presenters of the play.
There is also an inherent irony in the title: Can a lobby be the setting for heroism? Do we have the opportunity for heroism in a modern pedestrian setting? Is there even a true hero in the play? Is it heroic for us to just do the things we do the best we can? Ultimately, I think the play suggests that the nature of heroism lies in whether the decisions we make affect others in a humane manner.
What have you found rewarding about bringing this production to the stage?
GF: Working with this relatively inexperienced group of actors has been particularly rewarding. They are all intelligent individuals, but each one is humble and hard-working. Community theatre is full of actors like that, in my experience: individuals who are excited to be cast but willing to learn and bring about a vision that may differ in essence from their own. The commitment of those who work behind the scenes makes working on a play equally gratifying.
Interestingly, no two productions are alike: you work very closely with a set group of people, then never get that same magical combination of workers together again. It's exiting being a part of something like that.
A huge thank you to both Claire and Gregory for their thoughtful insights about this upcoming production! Don’t miss Lobby Hero coming to Dundas Little Theatre starting this Friday, April 19!
For tickets and more information, please visit: https://dundaslittletheatre.com/production/lobby-hero/
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THE GONG SHOWS
(Thoughts on COMEDY, HIP HOP, HARD WORK and RESPECT)
I had come to DENVER in the FALL of 1996 on a GREYHOUND BUS. The trip was relatively uneventful. I watched a braggart kid from CONNECTICUT who ran his mouth the whole way get yolked buying drugs on the street outside the station in CHICAGO. Those places were very dangerous in the 90’s at every stop. It was a cheap way to cross the country, but it would lead a person through a gauntlet of bizarre dead-end places where the dirty dog stopped to collect the living attempting to find greener pastures.
GREG had talked me into coming. I saw him that summer and he was quite pointed about the perilous state of my plight should I choose to not leave NEW ENGLAND and get out west to escape the headaches and severe DOPE CRISIS that was breaking like a wave at NAZZARRE. It was the 90’s and things were seemingly very prosperous and the severity of QUID PRO QUO was profound. CREDIT, LIFE, DEBT, and CHOICE all loomed as they impeached the president and I went away from the dark strange world I was raised in and got on a bus to build a thing in a blank form.
Our doings would lead to a myriad of things and alliances. VICTOR IZITT aka PRIZNA 101 aka DJ RICOCHET, our roommate, and I formed a GRAFF crew quickly with some other kids and would throw our first parties in 1999 as 314 BREAK CORP with our mentor ED SANTIAGO aka NRG BOY. This event would feature many of the crew mates who would charge at endeavors they found clever and proliferated to levels of dopeness to deep to touch here in any correct manner.
COUNTDOWN was held in DEC in 1999 at BUMP AND GRIND cafe on 17th and PENN in DENVER. CLIFF T, the owner, and our big brother let us use the space last minute as our initial plan fell through. The BUMP AND GRIND was a coffee shop, bakery, and drag brunch destination of over 15 years in DENVER prior to much of that type of culture being more mainstream. CLIFF had lived in NY in the 90’s as well as had taken the gritty attitude of DETROIT where he grew up and fused it with the NY roots he came to earn. His hard work supported many of us and allowed a real family of artists and outsiders to gather around a father figure.
GREG and I would riff. It would lead to him pursuing comedy and eventually our collaborations in this space. We threw events in different spots despite the stigma of music and comedy. I was in two HIP-HOP groups at the time and GREG was running the SQUIRE LOUNGE open mic that lasted over a decade. We were speaking on the GONG SHOW I had thrown with BABAH FLY of BUGABOO, one of the two groups I was in. The show had been a cool idea but the spot was some odd biker bar in a pocket no one even knew existed. While this may have been sick if we wanted to stage some COCK FIGHTS or perhaps get that FIGHT CLUB we kept hinting at starting in motion.. But BAD IDEAS tend to stay stagnant for good reason.
(It is not possible to remember which idea really came first as the dates for them were close)
We stumbled into the idea of doing an actual GONG SHOW but really making it more in the mean-spirited SQUIRE LOUNGE model GREG had already formed. He pitched his comedy partners who were a decent size crew at this time and all agreed it was a great idea. Initially, the idea of YOU SUCK GET OFF THE STAGE and putting DAVE SOTO in a CASER suit was all just the ball rolling downhill. We somehow found the real GONG SHOW GONG that MR CHUCK BARRIS himself had WACKED to end the MEAN JEAN dancing and so many other people's blind charge at FAME.
The show was a nightmare in a lot of ways. It’s easy to DJ or just do COMEDY. Not a lot of moving parts. The show we built had a shitload of performers of a varying degree of skill, songs that would need to be played and cued, video and audio cues to be flown in live from the board, and an entire banter of judges on stage as GREG paraded the stage of the ORIENTAL THEATHER. He would take the stage as the monster he would allow himself to transform into called BOBBY VALENTINO. This person was a version of my boy but was the EVIL PURE SITH version of him that was the DOG he kept muzzled at all times. The act of letting this person stand on stage and act out this mustachio’d fever dream of filth was stepping deep into the chummed waters in a sausage suit…
The show went off in flying colors despite the massive technical problems mostly due to the use of DVD content in the live show. Most of the performers and the actual content given to my AV guy were OLD and used DVDs that were not fit for home play much less a production. These disasters would really rock the booth and boar but ultimately it was never a thing I let get to me. The shows would run 3 nights usually and we ran it 4 times I feel like. Each one is more complex and pro than the last. The first show did have the BUKAKKAE ALARM CLOCK skit GREG and I wrote like so many bits just being fools talking shit at the BUMP AND GRIND.
The roots of that CRUEL demand for the best and funniest stuff were rooted in that hungry world we came out of. The characters we came up with in that scene have gone on to define a era in COMEDY and put our CITY on the MAP. It’s a proud thing to look back on. So many names that are too numerous to mention respectfully. It’s been amazing to see the organic way true people delivering and producing shows and working with love will invariably rise up and create a legacy. I do not ever claim anything beyond what I know I’ve done and never waited for anyone to tell me it was ok. This was offputting I guess and it made me leave DENVER. I’m proud to represent my home even though it’s not where I was born. DENVER is a place where many writers find themselves on the journey. It’s a strange and mythic place I love and hate in equal measure. So many memories of joy and such deep loss and sadness. Some of the faces of the sublime humans I know still knock on my door as I awake daily. But the faces of the EVIL folk who I had to face and pass on were not jokes and warned the young people that it is not a joke.
The West was won in AUDACITY. The concept of MANIFEST DESTINY is a QUID PRO QUO of taking the land from those who were there in AUDACITY and clutching a GUN and BIBLE on the other hand. This is not a debatable fact. But to forget this trespass and pass on is silly. The West was won in BLOOD and ACTIONS GOOD, BAD, and UGLY. But the actions of simple passion and love all live side by side as those monsters ride off to rob another train or train their sights on the next slow-moving animal to poach.
The GONG SHOW is a moment in the AMERICAN MYTHOS that represents the common person being allowed the 15 seconds ANDY has promised in jest. But the AUDACITY to be a FOOL or be COOL is a thing that most don’t know. It’s easy to see a comic, deejay, producer, artist, writer, chef, or human as a thing you get to judge and talk out an opinion on. This is everyone’s right. BUT PLEASE KNOW. If you do not make, do, say, think that thing you choose to run your YAP ABOUT… It is fully permissible to have a REAL ONE tell you quite simply and plan that it’s not your place and it’s probably best to respectfully STFU.
FOR G.B. 314 and VICTOR PRIMO IZZIT 314
5:37am 4.14024.000003
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It's okay to distance yourself from people that feel toxic (even if they aren't) [27-28.10.2023]
I went to uni two times this week (once when the colleague told me I look sad and once for a work meeting). I feel like I'm still in holidays. It's definitely not healthy for me to spend so much time at home. I end up working/ studying very little because my computer at home is slow and I keep working while watching TV shows at home which makes me take double the time for any task.
Friday evening, I picked up Y from the main train station and went to eat dinner with him. Another friend of ours was supposed to come but got sick and then, I had the feeling that he thought it was a date. He kept telling me about insurances, because that's what he's studying now. He had a real talent to make everything about insurances, lol.
After that, I debated with myself to go out and meet J and others in a bar or pretend I didn't read her message, stay at home and sew while watching my Japanese TV drama. In the end, obviously, my reliability won and I went to the bar. I wanted to stay only until 1, then only until half past 1, then only until 2. In the end, I left after 3am. It was amazing to see J and also A and B again and they are people that are so easy to talk to. I felt light and happy. Also because: no politics, not even a glimpse of them, all night. Just me and my friends talking about our lives in the dimly lit, cigarette smoke filled bar.
The next day, I wanted to go to the first ice dipping group of the winter but it was at 10am and of course, my sleep deprived brain decided to roll over and sleep back instead. I ended up sleeping until almost 1pm which also means I must've overheard 3 alarms. When I put my earplugs in correctly, they are really strong.
Because at 12 already, CU was supposed to come to my place for a clothes adjustment session, but lucky for me, she was also late. I keep getting away with it.
The clothes adjustment session was nice as always, my sewing machine seems a bit broken again, CU told me about her shopping, she tried on clothes and I wasn't happy with my sewing. Two people so fundamentally different that we will never be friends but so fundamentally tolerant and apathetic that we will never fight about it, either.
In the evening, I went to meet with S. Over dinner, I fell over my words trying to tell her how much this political situation was taking a toll on me, always feeling like I can't express how much I'm really feeling from it. We talked about it in our typical wannabe- therapist- everything is okay- manner where I always feel like I'm only scratching the surface of how much I'm really feeling. Still, each time, the words "This has really taken a toll on me, like no political event ever has" leave my mouth, I feel a tiny bit less terrible, a tiny bit more honest, a tiny bit less alone with my feelings. S is dealing with it how I would like to: avoiding all news, no social media, focusing on her own life.
Then, we went to a burlesque- show in a Halloween - themed bar. The girl at the door was rude and we had to alternate sitting on a bar chair because they didn't have 2 for us. We sat next to a guy, who gave me uncomfortable normie vibes and his girlfriend and mom. Before the show started, we talk about what we always talk about: subcultures, hypothetical scenarios, books and popculture theory.
I loved the burlesque show. Even though it wasn't one bit Halloween- themed, I felt fascinated and entertained and just in awe at the dancers skill and movement and beauty and dresses and the music. One girl danced to "Brand New Bitch" by COBRAH, and now, I am re- listening to all her albums and feeling like a crazy bitch in all the best ways. Another girl made me absolutely feel like it's 1920 with her show wearing a tiny silver dress with a big headpiece, spinning to dramatic jazz music in the cheap, red lights and the faint smoke.
Just about to leave, S suddenly told me: "I reserved a spot for a comedy club after this." And off we went! I love this girl! The comedy club was small and friendly and warm. Because they ran out of snacks, they allowed us to bring snacks from the kiosk inside and I felt so happy on my chair in front of the small stage next to S, popcorn and chips and the drinks spread over the small table, joking around and waiting for the show to begin. I took a picture of the table. It's a candidate for my "happy moments of 2023" collection.
The show started and it was good. I want to watch more comedy with S, because she is, maybe besides B, the person with whom it's the most enjoyable! The host asked us questions about our life and my inner attention whore blossomed and it was funny and it was light and I felt good.
Then, a middle eastern comedian came up and he talked about the Israel- Palestine conflict. I won't spoil all of it but he made me feel okay with not having an opinion and he made me feel okay in general again. It was the second time since this happened thst I felt I could be happy while terrible things are happening, the same feeling I had when watching drag with A. I could exist in the same time while bad things are happening and I could be happy and not guilty despite it. I teared up, of course and I laughed so much at the same time. I felt light again.
And then at night, the second group had planned a movie night at C's place and I had a weird feeling about it. The second group. Politics, different opinions. They were going to protests. I still had this omnipresent anxiety of any political topic coming up and a political discussion ensuing. When I was alone and lost in my thoughts, I caught myself practicing what I would say to them, shakily practicing the words "I don't wanna start a political discussion. " and "I don't know enough about it to have an opinion" over and over in my head. I didn't want to keep thinking about this topic, but I couldn't stop my brain from circling back to it.
So, I kind of tried to avoid going, wondering if they might say it's too late for me to come at some point, or if I could bring it over myself to just not go. I kept asking around other friends what they were doing, playing with the thought of just ignoring the movie night and going out to a club while knowing that I don't have the guts for that.
I texted C, hoping she would be too stoned or distracted to answer, but she wasn't. I went, feeling excited and anxious at the same time. The second group was watching a documentary on the couch and we ate and I drank one useless glass of wine and they smoked and we chatted about this and that. I talked about life updates with Y again and for a few minutes, she felt like my best friend again. We were just laughing and talking and making references and there was no conflict, no protests, no other opinion, no anxiety to lose friends over politics, no knot in my stomach, just two people being on the same wave length and loving each other.
Then, C said to me "If you want to come, we are going to the protest tomorrow."
Me, staring at the TV screen, in the most neutral tone possible "No politics for me, but thank you."
Then: "It's affecting me too much and I don't know enough about it to have an opinion."
C: "It's affecting you too much emotionally?"
Me: "Yes, I cried about it in the first days so much."
I don't think what came could even count as a discussion. Y basically said that you don't need a lot to know to have an opinion and I kept repeating like a broken and deadly neutral clock "Yes, but I don't know a lot about it and I'm not gonna speak out my opinion about a topic I don't know enough a about." Staring at the TV-screen. "Discussion" is over. Nothing even happened. Just the uneasy feeling is back and the deep love and connection scattered in the air.
Later, while people were progressively falling asleep, I chatted a lot with B about random topics, growing up in a church, which countries we were interested in visiting, just easy innocent, superficial talk. When I went home, the uneasy feeling in my gut stayed.
Riding my bike back in the soothing rain, I asked myself what I was so afraid of. While did I keep avoiding this topic so desperately it hurt, and yet never thought about distancing myself from these people. I could've distanced myself from them without saying anything the first weekend I was back and literally nothing would've happened. I could've even told them the political situation is too much for me right now and I think they would've understood or at least told me that they did. I am convinced that it would've been better for my mental health to not see them so much these first days. I could distance myself from them even now, not in a hostile way, just for a while.
I don't know if I can't do that because I don't have the guts or because "I don't have enough self-love yet to allow myself a better life" (quote K). I feel like I'm only allowed to not love people as friends whole-heartedly and to distance myself from them if they are really toxic and do something actually bad, not for me just feeling uncomfortable about something I shouldn't even feel uncomfortable about.
I don't want to be a person who distances herself from anyone, for a silly reason like that. I want to live in a fairy tale where all my friends are nice and on time all of the time and I can just love them without restraint. But this world doesn't exist here. And the truth is that hanging out with them makes me always feel weird and uncomfortable in my skin and sad afterwards. And during, I also feel weird and careful and not myself. Meeting them is not making me feel good. So, I can distance myself from them, for any reason, not out of hatred for them, but jsut to protect my own sanity and my very fragile mood that can't take any amount of political discussion anymore. And of course, if I were to think about it, there are other things that bother me. It's okay if these friends are not in season for me right now, if this season, I want to meet A and S and maybe J and B and be calm. It's okay to distance myself from people even if they didn't stab me in the back, it's okay to distance myself from people because they annoy me a bit, it's okay to distance myself from people for a "silly" reason, it's okay to distance myself from people that feel toxic, even if they aren't.
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