Tumgik
#changing the tag because apparently tumblr shows your post in a tag even if the ACTUAL tag is just a word in your sentence
chrollohearttags · 2 months
Text
long winded ass post I contemplated not writing but did it anyways. read if you’d like or ignore lmao.
so I feel as though this kind of goes without saying but a lot has changed on tumblr and the vibe has shifted a lot, sadly, not for the better either :/ I thought about this for a while and although last week, I was not posting any new content due to the strike, I’ve decided to step away from writing in general after this month. I could sit here and go on a tangent about how it’s the ‘algorithm’ and ‘dying fandoms’ but to me, this boils down to the fact that I refuse to exhaust myself to be unappreciated + disrespected. That’s not to say I’m ungrateful to everyone who reblogs and comments on my works all the time because I am incredibly grateful! I love each of you and I look forward to reading your tags/thoughts. However, it’s not lost on me that the anime fandom in general is becoming shrouded in toxicity and many of us are being pushed away. We’re in an age where people are seen as content machines and not humans so others feel entitled to their art and feel no need to be kind, understanding or empathetic to that person’s feelings. I’m not wasting my time trying to teach people manners that they should’ve learned a long time ago. I refuse to share my craft with people like that. And to say the quietest part out loud: y’all don’t want black writers around, PERIOD. One scroll through the dash shows that much. As someone who’s written primarily for AOT (not changing btw) and specifically the black side of the fandom, it’s almost laughable at the extreme lengths that ppl have gone through to see it be erased. And I don’t mean getting fics hit with labels or reporting (that failed so they switched to plan B.) since I began back writing in 2020-21, it was obvious that it was the most popular among black girls and I remember ppl telling me to write for them. Hell, it’s the sole reason I even watched. Needless to say, I fell in love with the show and it holds a special place in my heart. However, I realized I didn’t need any of the original material. Not only that, in all the years I’ve been writing, it’s the first time I’ve seen so many black girls resonating and happy with a group of characters. It was the first and only time I’ve seen stories where I didn’t feel as though them being a black character was a hidden secret or toned down to appeal to others (no shade). It was in my face and proud, even if I didn’t personally resonate with the reader or concept of the story. It still felt good coming from a fandom where I was literally the ONLY black writer in it. Fast forward and I clearly see that now, it’s not welcomed. We could sit here and blame it on non-blk (yt) having the problems but that’s a load of bullshit and the only enemies we have are one another. It’s been other black writers who have littered the tags with discourse abt the same stupid topic to avoid new fics being seen. It’s been other black writers who have switched fandoms when they were no longer the ONLY ones bc coexisting is just too damn hard apparently. It’s been other black authors who have made it blatantly clear that they are only interested in seeing and creating stories that are palatable to other races so they won’t be perceived in a negative light or to be seen as one of the ‘good ones’. Even down to not using black reader tags or avoiding coded language. So much so, they are comfortable laughing at anti-black rhetoric being pushed on other apps so as long as their new favs are not the brunt of the joke.
I’m not here to tell anybody how or what to write. I’m not here to say you ONLY have to like one show but what I am saying is that i will NOT be spending hours and days agonizing over a fic for it to be minimized to a joke for a bitch on TikTok. I will not spend the little free time I have trying to crunch and finish a fic for it not do well but watch y’all pile in my mentions to argue over nonsense. And I won’t sit here and watch y’all purposely try to run other black writers away bc they don’t fit ur aesthetic. Fiction is fiction and whether you resonate with it or not, it’s expression. I’m a boring ass country bumpkin from the middle of nowhere, Florida who’s got social anxiety, chronically ill, neurodivergent and is in bed by 10:00. I don’t smoke, never had sex and I literally never leave the house unless I’m grocery shopping. I never have and never will live the life of any of my characters, even the most tame ones. But I write for EVERY black girl and want everyone of them to be seen. The one space where that seems to be allowed is obviously not welcomed anymore. Arguing and trying to defend ourselves against people who are committed to misunderstanding us is pointless. Minimizing us down to ‘baby mama’, ‘hoodrat’ fics, simply bc you no longer like certain characters (many of which you all were writing for not too long ago) is quite frankly clown and coon ass behavior. Watching y’all become enraged by tropes that are used by ever race, every fandom, etc but turning the blind eye bc it suits ur narrative is fucking hypocritical and laughable at best.
I’m not insecure in my writing. Never have been and never will be. I know I pour everything I have into creating the best work I can and it’s for that reason that I won’t allow it to be treated like trash. I have over 250 drafts in my Google docs and best believe, that’s where they’ll stay until I see fit. Although I know it’ll probably mean leaving the last place I have any sense of community and social interaction in general, it’s not worth coming on here angry everyday in defense mode. Its not worth getting out of my character over and I rather just not be around if it means I have to play mean girl. My mind may change and all of this will just have been me getting shit off my chest but as of right now, this account will be archived come February 28th. Thank you to everybody who’s supported me this far and gave me a safe space. I love all of you so very much and hope that we can enjoy the rest of this month together 🫶🏾 🤍
376 notes · View notes
ateezscupid · 1 year
Note
switch yunho x f!reader? 😁
𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 ✩ 𝗃.𝗒𝗁 𝗑 𝖿!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋
Tumblr media
plot - yunho has a problem, and to solve it, he needs to lose his virginity—to you.
genre + warnings - switch!yunho, switch!reader, non!idol au, college au, vanilla sex, aphrodisiacs used, humping, masturbation, oral, fingering (f receiving), handjob, blowjob, praising, light choking, overstimulation, unprotected sex, if i missed anything lmk!
wc - 4.3k (?)
tags - @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna
a/n - I JUST REALIZED MY TUMBLR GLITCHED WHEN I POSTED THIS? i missed an entire part, oh my god.
Tumblr media
“dude, hongjoong just gave me these weirdo blue cookies.” mingi shoved the box toward yunho.
“what the hell? i’d expect that type of shit from wooyoung, not joong.” yunho laughed as he plopped onto the couch. mingi walked over and sat down next to him, handing him the box.
“apparently they’re cookies that make you super horny. i don’t get why hongjoong needed them though since he’s…not dating anyone. and he doesn’t even have anyone to hookup with. i guess delusion is what keeps him going.” mingi chuckles to himself as he leans back.
“cookies that make you horny… like aphrodisiacs? dudee, we should put some of these in yeosang’s lunch box tomorrow. he’s gonna need them for his girlfriend!”
“does his girlfriend even know what he looks like without clothes on?” mingi raised an eyebrow.
“i dunno, but he needs them.” yunho sat the box of cookies on the coffee table and groaned loudly, leaning back on the couch so much he almost slid off.
“i’m so bored, there’s nothing to do.”
“well, i have something to do.” mingi cackled quietly. “this girl in my math class invited me over to study for a test we have tomorrow and i already know we’re gonna hookup. i’m bringing three condoms just in case.”
“why the hell do you need three condoms if you’re only going one round?” yunho asked him. he was so innocent.
“who goes only one round? i’m not surprised; you’re not familiar with stuff like that since you are a virgin. there’s not one girl in this school who’s willing to get laid by you.”
“i—i don’t wanna have sex with a random person! that’s a you thing, mingi. not a me thing.” yunho sighed.
“im just saying!” mingi stood. “why don’t you call your tutor over? what’s her name…y/n? you have a fat crush on her, invite her over and you’ll be fine.”
“if i invite her over here, she’s gonna force me to do work and i’m not in the working mood right now. i wanna lay down and binge watch cringey reality tv shows.” yunho rolled his eyes. mingi shrugs and turns around, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder.
“well, if you do change your mind and invite her over, don’t do it on my bed. i just washed my sheets and i don’t want there to be cum stains or whatever.”
“dude, shut up!” yunho through a balled up piece of paper at him. mingi stuck his tongue out then left the dorm, leaving yunho alone.
he stares at the cookie box on the table and ponders. the box looked really beaten up and old, and when he shook it, it didn’t sound like there were many inside of the box. maybe mingi was playing a prank on him or something. yunho thought aphrodisiacs expired in 2010, but he was clearly wrong.
he picks up the box of cookies and opens it. the cookies were blue, not surprising. they did seem a title hard, but he didn’t know if it was because of the aphrodisiacs or if it was because the cookies were old. there wasn’t even an expiration date on the box.
“blue cookies…” yunho repeated to himself as if he didn’t believe it. “blue cookies that make you horny. he must be joking.”
so, out of curiosity, yunho digs his hand inside and takes out six cookies. he sits the box back on the cookie table and looks at the cookies in his hand. they did look delicious, and it wouldn’t be the first time he’s eaten something stale or expired. plus, he was craving cookies.
without hesitation, yunho eats the cookies one by one. he couldn’t tell if the aphrodisiacs had done something to him or not. he felt fine, and his body temperature remained normal. yunho chuckled to himself and shook his head, standing up and walking to his bedroom. he really just ate cheap cookies that hongjoong gave him and mingi. he knew it was too good to be true.
Tumblr media
yh: hey hongjoong, whered you get those blue cookies from they were good
hj: blue cookies? idk what you’re talking abt
yh: mingi said you gave him horny blue cookies? dude he told me earlier
hj: huuhhhh
hj: OHHHHH THOSE COOKIES
yh: YEAH THOSE COOKIES whered you get them from they were good
hj: … you ate them?
yh: they’re cookies, wtf am i supposed to do
hj: yunho those are aphrodisiac cookies they’re gonna make u hard as hell for hours
yh: mingi told me that too but i’m fine
hj: dude omg these cookies are different, u don’t feel it right away how many did you eat
yh: like 5 or 6
hj: i’m gonna fucking kill tou
yh: YOU CANT EVEN SPELL HOW ARE YOU GONNA KILL ME
hj: YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO EAT ONE, ONE IS ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU HORNY AS HELL OH MY GOD
yh: ohhh
yh: did i do a bad
hj: i’m gonna hurt you
yh: so basically what ur saying is i’m fine
hj: what i’m saying is you need to find someone to fuck, otherwise ur gonna be horny for days dude and that’s not good
yh: who the hell am i gonna fuck?? i’m a virgin im sure nobody wants me
yh: hongjoong?
yh: OH MY GOD ANSWER YOUR PHONE
yunho sighed to himself and threw his phone. he was starting to feel the effects of the aphrodisiac and knew he was in trouble. not only that, but he called you and asked if you come come over to help him study. he couldn’t study while being rock hard, he’d be distracted. that, and he’d be sneaking glances down your shirt whenever he could.
“fuck fuck fuck,” he mumbled to himself and stands up, walking to the corner he threw his phone in and picking it up. 5:50. he knew mingi would be gone for a long time, and you were coming in ten minutes. he had time.
yunho kept checking the time while he walked to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him and pulling down his pants and boxers. he shuddered just from the fabric sliding off his cock. he was that sensitive.
now he needed something to think about. he could’ve just jerked off and came right away, considering how sensitive he was, but he preferred thinking about something that would normally get him turned on. so, he thought about you.
yunho closed his eyes, wrapping his hand around his cock and flinching at the feeling. he couldn’t even stand the feel of his own hand without feeling the urge to cum. he knew it was going to be a long night.
he brings his hand up to his tip. he runs his thumb across the tip, leaning forward slightly and cursing under his breath. he needed more. his hand obviously felt good, but not good enough. he looks around the bathroom for anything that could help him, and sees his towel hanging on the shower rod.
yunho grabs it then leaves his bathroom. he shuffles back over to his bed and places the towel down, getting on top and aligning his hips. he places a pillow in front of him and lays down it, beginning to push and pull his hips like a mad man.
his fingers desperately gripped the bed sheets for some sort of support as he tried relieving himself. he already felt himself wanting to cum onto the towel, and all he was doing was thinking of you.
from your pretty eyes to your chest, where’d he’s sneak glances down your shirt from time to time. he’s always wondered what it would be like to just touch you. it didn’t matter in what way, he just needed his skin to be in contact with yours. your skin was so soft, and you always smelled like really expensive perfume. your smell was infecting him and he had no complaints.
“please, oh fuck, please…” he whines into the pillow in front of him, gripping the bed sheets the tightest he possibly could. he felt himself beginning to burst already, all he needed were a few more thrusts and he’d be good to go.
and he was right. a few more thrusts. a few more thrusts caused yunho to explode on the towel, his cum splattering onto it as he mewled into the pillow. his breath hitched in his throat and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. he needed that, but yet, he still needed more. he still felt hot.
so, he had no other choice but to force himself back down onto the pillow and continue thrusting. he obviously couldn’t ignore the overstimulation he felt, but he was willing to go through anything just to get rid of this feeling. as good as it made him feel, it was painful. the entire time, he was wondering how you would touch him. he couldn’t lie. he’s fantasized about you two doing intimate things a lot. so much so, sometimes he wouldn’t be able to focus during some tutoring session.
would you have palmed him through his pants? god, he could see you doing it. moving your soft, gentle hands over his bulge, rubbing your thumb over the wet spot in his boxers from his pre-cum. using your fingers to hold his cock and stroke his cock roughly. he could’ve came from these thoughts alone.
what if you had taken off your shirt in front of him? unbuttoning your favorite button up and letting him fondle your breasts. every glance he snuck down your shirt made him want you even more each time. your breasts were so pretty to him. he wanted to suck on them just once. he wished somebody you’d be in his bed, your hand in his pants or the other way around. god, he didn’t know if he wanted to pin you down, or if he wanted you to pin him down.
yunho came a good two more times before you arrived in front of his dorm room. he immediately jumps up, pulling his boxers and shorts up then sprinting to the door. but he needed to calm himself down. his face had sex splattered all over it, or he had the face of someone who had just eaten two jars of aphrodisiac cookies. speaking of the cookies, he may or may not have eaten two more just for the fun of it.
and in the heat of the moment.
there weren’t any words to describe the feeling he had. he was so sensitive, he could barely move but he tried his hardest. he opens the door and looks you up and down, not realizing he licked his lips at the sight of you.
“um, okay? i guess that’s a nice way to greet me.” you nod and walk past him, placing your backpack on the couch then sitting down next to it.
“i didn’t bring anything because i know you have some old worksheets somewhere. and you still have a computer,” you point at the one on the tv stand. “so we can use your computer instead of me going back to my dorm to get mine!”
“i’m, um,” yunho was definitely listening to you, but everything was registering to him slowly. “uh, uh, yeah! yeah,”
“you good? you’re sweating a whole lot and-“
“i’m fine! could never be better! you want a water? i’ll get you a water, you look thirsty! and uh, uh, i’ll get you an orange. we have oranges! you want an orange?”
“yunho, it’s fine. i brought my own-“
“i’ll get you an orange!” and with that, he rushes to the kitchen. he waits for you to avert your attention away from him before he rushes into the pantry. judging his behavior, something was wrong with him. you pat your hands on your knees and bite your lip. it shouldn’t take this long to get a drink.
when looking around the looking room, you notice a box on the ground. you stand and walk over to it, picking it up and looking inside of it. the box had a few cookies in it. you wanted to eat one but wanted to ask yunho. but before you even had the chance to do that, you saw the name on the box and heard a noise from the pantry.
“aphrodisiac cookies…” you mumble to yourself then whip your head toward the pantry. those weren’t just random noises, those were moans. you facepalmed.
“is he really jerking off in the pantry…” you shake your head and drop the box of cookies, walking into yunho’s kitchen and opening the door to the pantry. you couldn’t have been any more correct. he was leaning against the wall, pants down to knees and his hand wrapped around his cock. he was too caught up to realize you were standing right there.
“jeong yunho!” you yelled his name, causing him to jump and look at you. “how many of those fucking cookies did you eat?”
“i-i—look, i didn’t know those cookies were gonna make me horny! i-i thought they were regular cookies! if you’re gonna blame anyone, blame hongjoong!—“
“that’s not what i asked you. i asked you how many cookies you’ve had.” you squint your eyes.
“i-i had like—six or eight? i don’t know, i can’t remember, i feel like i’m gonna burst. y/n please help, everything hurts—“
“i…” you groan and pull him out of the pantry. he rushed to pull his shorts up as you dragged him toward his room, though he didn’t have to since they were gonna be off in the next few minutes.
“you really have me sucking you off because you ate some damn drug cookies.” you scratch your head and push him onto the bed.
“stop talking and do something, please,” he begs. your eyes trail down his body and make it to his cock. one thing was for sure, he was big. “fuck, did you always smell this good? you smell really good.”
“i didn’t even put on perfume today, what are you smelling?” you say as your hand moves against his cock softly, fingers poking his tip. his entire body tensed from the feeling.
“i smell everything. y/n, stop teasing me and do something, i feel like i’m gonna die! i could die! i-i could die if we don’t do anything!”
“jeong yunho, i will leave you in this bedroom with blue balls if you don’t shut up.” you stare him dead in the eyes and immediately curl your fingers around his cock. yunho lurched forward and moaned loudly, thighs shaking and his lips trembling.
“fuck fuck fuck, i’m gonna-“ he came all over your hand. you backed up a bit since you didn’t want any to get on your shirt.
“yunho, i didn’t even move my hand yet.” you sigh and take your hand off of him, bringing it up to your mouth and licking the cum off of it. “i assume that’s all you needed, right?—“
“that’s not even the only time i’ve cum, please. i really can’t- i just- please let me feel you.” he reached his hand out and grabs your wrist, pulling you closer and making you straddle him. he wraps his arms around your waist and begins kissing you all over your neck and chest.
“yunho, calm down-“
“cant, i need you, please…” he dug his nails into your shirt, whimpering quietly with each kiss he gave you.
“okay yunho, okay. what do you want me to do? or, what do you wanna do to me?”
without saying a word, he turns around on the bed and throws you down. his hands ran all over your body. god, he couldn’t get over how soft your skin was. he was so obsessed with you in the best way possible. his hands move underneath your shirt and he starts fondling your breasts, his thumbs pressing down on your nipples.
you held onto his wrist for a few moments until he went down your body and started unbuckling your jeans. once down, he pulls them down and throws them elsewhere before diving in between your legs. he didn’t bother taking your underwear off. he pushed them to the side and dove in, lips attached to your clit.
“holy fu—“ a tingling sensation coursed through your body. yunho made sure to look up a few times to catch your expression change. this was way better than what he’s been thinking about.
“y-yunho, slow down! f-fuck, i’m not going—oh my god,” you couldn’t even form a full sentence. having him stick his tongue between your folds made you spill incoherent words out of your mouth. he had you wondering how many other women he’s been with to be this good. but, it couldn’t have been many women? you could’ve sworn he was a virgin? unless he was lying.
“please, yunho please,” you begged, hands tangled in his hair. “fuck, i’m gonna cum…”
“please do it.” he mumbles against your clit. the pleasure had become too much and you literally exploded on his face, back arching off of the sheets with your face scrunching from the power of your orgasm. but even after cumming, he still needed more from you.
he throws your legs over his shoulders and locks his arms around them, attempting to hold you still while he continued eating you out. he just never caught a break. you were sensitive after your orgasm and knew he was going to overstimulate the hell out of you. you pushed his head back and stared at him for a moment. just looking into his eyes, you could tell he was desperate.
“how…fuck,” you had to catch your breath before speaking. “how many girls did you have to sleep with for you to be able to do that…”
“none.” he said quickly, bringing his hand up and sticking two fingers inside of you without warning. your body jolted and you looked down at his fingers, moaning softly due to the feeling. “can you squirt? i wanna see if you can squirt.”
“y-yunho, wait—“ your thighs begin to shake as yunho hums against your thigh, fingers moving at an accelerated pace. he wanted to make you cum, he wanted you to cum on his fingers so he knew he was doing a good job. yunho could tell you were close because of your moans growing louder and louder.
“f-faster, please!” you cry out. he did so without hesitation, curling his fingers to press on your g-spot. just by that one action, the knot in your stomach begins to unravel. you feel yourself beat up as your thighs clench around his face, trapping him between them as a large amount of liquid left your body. he helped you through your orgasm by moving his fingers faster, his free hand on your stomach to feel you.
once you came down from your high, he took his fingers out of you and sucked on them. he crawls up and kissed you, littering your face and neck with kisses. while he wasn’t looking, you use your hand to grab his cock, gently rubbing his tip and watching his face contort in pleasure.
“y/n, y/n wait…” he whined, falling back on the bed and grabbing a pillow. he wraps his arms around it and hugs it. his pretty moans mixed with the slick, wet sounds coming from him rang in your ears. and you couldn’t get enough of it. it only encouraged you to move your hand faster. you smile and get on top of him, now using both hands.
“p-please, let me inside.” his hips were between your legs when you straddled him, his erection rubbing against your heat. you needed a few seconds to calm your body down before realizing what he meant.
“uh uh, my turn.” you hold onto his shoulders and use every muscle in your body to flip him over. he was on his back and you were on top of him.
“let me suck you off, then i’ll let you in.”
“please, fuck, i can’t wait any longer just-“
you put a finger to his lips. he shuts up immediately and watched as you go down his body, leaving kisses wherever you could. once his cock was right in front of your face, you couldn’t help but give it a small lick. he shuddered from your action.
“fuck, how sensitive are you?” you chuckle, now bringing your hand to wrap around his length. he didn’t bother answering. he threw his head back and groaned, his cock twitching in your hand.
the sight before him could’ve made him cum on the spot. seeing you lay between his legs, your feet swinging back and forth behind you, and the arch of your back made him hornier. you could feel his gaze on you as you licked all along his erection, giggling softly and sending vibrations through his body.
he completely melted in your touch, his groans echoing throughout the bedroom. he was using everything in him not to cum on the spot. you couldn’t lie, he tasted amazing. you’d do this all day if he let you.
“f-fuck, your mouth…i love your mouth, s’good…” he whimpers while sitting up on his elbows, head thrown back and his cock twitching constantly in your mouth. you gently take him out of your mouth and kiss his tip gently, now moving your hands to bring him closer to the edge.
“are you gonna cum? is my pretty boy gonna cum?” you smile. you stared at yunho intently, watching his body break down from the overstimulation. it wasn’t surprising since he said he’s came more than five times today.
“please,” he begged. “f-faster, let me cu—f-fuck, please! please please please,” his cheeks were flushed, and you couldn’t help but coo.
“go ahead and cum, pretty.” his hips violently thrust into your hand. those cookies were doing so much to him, he couldn’t focus.
“f-fuck!” he cries out. “c-cumming, i’m cumming—i’m gonna-“ he finally let go, cumming all over your hand. you slowed your strokes to not overstimulate him before backing away.
“you did so well for me, yuyu.” you spoke softly, gently rubbing his thigh as you waited for him to come down from his high. he slowly sits up and smiles at you. he was still hard, and still pulsing.
“are you sure you wanna keep going?” you tilt your head. “and, um, if this is gonna be your first time then, i don’t know, i think you should reconsi-“
he pulls you up from underneath your arms and sits you on his lap. “if it’s you, i don’t care. now please, i feel like my dick is gonna bust.”
“oh my god, okay.” you smile and lift your hips, lining him up then sinking down onto his cock. yunho watched as you swallowed his length entirely, it disappeared completely and he couldn’t help but moan from the sight. you almost collapsed on top of him trying to control yourself. it’s been so long since you felt this way. you needed this.
“can i move?” your hands run across his chest, lightly scratching. yunho didn’t say anything. he was focusing on not cumming inside of you, you sucked him in like a vacuum.
“yunho?” you lean down. “i’ll lay on my back, so you can move. okay?”
“wait, just—wait,” he moans softly. he finally pulled himself together and gripped onto your hips, flipping the two of you over again so he was hovering over you. your hands wrap around his neck and he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth.
“you feel so fucking good,” he groans. “fuck, i wanna stay like this forever.”
“we can, yunho,” you moan breathlessly. “please move.”
he didn’t start slow. just as you told him to move, he started snapping his hips against yours, the sounds of your skin colliding echoing around the room, just like your moans. you throw your head back and moan, pulling him down and pressing your lips against his. each time his cock drives in and out of you, his name slipped out your mouth.
the both of you were lost in the moment, moaning into each others mouths and chasing your high. yunho backs away from your face and pushes his in your neck, kissing and biting softly. everyone was going to know you were his, now.
yunho grabs the underside of your knee and pushes your leg back further, now thrusting at an angle that made you feel dizzy. your back arched off the bed and his movements became rougher. he was so close.
“y/n, y-y/n, where do i…w-where do i cum?” he pants in your ear. “f-fuck, i’m so close.”
“i-inside! p-please please please,” you begged. and with the last few stuttering thrusts, you feel him basically explode inside of you. you tightened around his cock as you came the same time, repeating his name as if you were a broken record.
you make sure to hold onto him the tightest you possibly could, taking in the moment while moaning loudly. you weren’t sure about what to say or what to do, it was like he fucked the breath out of you. he cuddles against your body, breathing heavily in your ear while trying to stop his body from shaking.
“y/n, please stay with me…” he whimpers in your ear. “love you so much, i love you, stay, please.”
“don’t worry, i’ll stay.”
2K notes · View notes
springalwayscomes · 7 months
Text
Closer: Too Close (II)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Closer Closer: Too Close (Teaser) Before this comes: Closer: Too Close Masterlist Taglist
Plot: To have each other close is something that you both always wanted, in a way or another. It’s just that… closer may be too close for you to handle.
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Domestic, Humor, Friends to Lovers
Wordcount: 47.5k
Content Warning: Dirty talk, swearing, pining, mentions of masturbation, masturbation, praise, cunnilingus, cum eating, unprotected sex, mentions of blowjob, squirting, public sex, fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, love making, creampie
Author’s Note: Hello, here it is!! Honestly I didn’t think I would write a second part to Closer, I felt like the end of that was the best I could give to these two, but it received so much love and when I read it again I couldn’t hold myself back. Still, I consider the first part the main one, you can read that without having to read this. I would add though, that these two here just make me want to scream for the bond they have. I didn’t say the time I would publish it to feel a little more relaxed with the editing but you asked me before and I thought I’d make it on time for 1 am KST so sorry if I kept you waiting! I hope you’ll like this, and happy birthday Jungkook! Take this as a little gift💜
P.s I hate tumblr, I had to split the story in different parts because it was too slow and apparently every post has a limit of 1000 blocks, so here you’ll be able to find the beginning of your reading:
Closer: Too Close, it’s all part of the same story!
If you want to be tagged in my taglist to get notified when my other works will come out let me know here, under this post, with a message or an ask. Feel free to talk to me for whatever, I always appreciate your messages!🫶🏻💜
Tumblr media
Jungkook is standing not too far, eyes on the ground and hands deep in the pockets of his skinny jeans he munches on his lips nervously and you see already that he’s trying to take in deep breaths, his chest is swelling.
«Koo» you call out as you get closer. He turns immediately, eyes meeting yours without any efforts.
«What happened?» 
He shakes his head, looks over at the building in front of him. You take his side, attach your back to the wall of the restaurant.
«What is it?» you ask. 
«Talk to me,» your hand strokes his back «please?»
Silence fills the space between you, the space outside, every road near to you for a second. Time goes by slow as you wait for him to say anything, the way his breath comes out shaky makes you munch on your lips. A clacson echoes from afar and Jungkook finally opens his lips, but just to close them again for a few seconds.
«I- We’re still the same» he blurts out. 
«We’re still best friends and you’re still my friend» he doesn’t even look at you as he speaks.
«What- what does that mean? Of course, we’re still-»
«You’re still my best friend and it’s fucking killing me, Y/n» he finally faces you. What you read in his expression is scary, it makes you lower your shoulders and double check for any signs of teasing, but there’s isn’t any.
«What- I’m not following you» 
«I can’t-» he shakes his head «I can’t do this. I love you so fucking much it’s freaking killing me and you’re here putting Taehyung’s perilla leaves in his rice when I can’t even hug you in public» 
«What-»
«What what?» he exclaims, gesturing with hands «You’re still my best friend! Nothing changed and I-»
«Everything changed, Jungkook!» you can’t believe what he’s saying.
«I love you! What do you mean nothing changed?»
«It doesn’t matter- not- it matters, fuck it matters, but it doesn’t matter cause I can’t show you!» his tone raises. 
You feel the need to wrap your arms around him suddenly. You’re blowing smoke through your ears but the need to make him calm down takes over and all you end up doing is take him in your hold and squeeze him tight. Jungkook stays limp with his head hanging onto your shoulder, eyes watering as your hands stroke his back. It remembers him of when he was shaking and crying before he blurted his feelings out, the fear of losing you and the need of having you but not as close as he wants look kind of similar now. He knows, fuck he knows it deep inside him that your love is enough, more than enough actually, more than he ever could ask for, but having to restrain himself from showing it it’s so fucking hard that it’s killing him. Especially when he sees you do those little gestures for the others, while he keeps repeating himself that he should be careful. You’re not even the same as before, it’s all blurred just like his vision right now.
«Talk to me?» you whisper. He lets out a deep breath, shaky and frail, totally vulnerable now that he has you wrapped around him. He digs his nose into your skin, nuzzles in the crook of your neck just for the sake of it. He has you, he repeats to himself. He has you.
«I feel like-» he gulps «like I have you only when we’re alone. Like- you belong to me only when we’re together»
His fingers entangle with the cloth of your dress as you stroke his neck slowly. You wait for him to add more, but there’s only the raise of his chest against yours following.
«Why did you have to do that?» he whines high pitched.
«What did I do?» you hum. His digits dig into your back.
«The perilla leaf» he whines again. It hits you just now and Jungkook feels his cheek burn at his words cause he knows that it may sound childish, but it’s just- annoying. 
«You’re- the perilla leaf? You’re jealous?» you can’t believe it.
«Cause I peeled off his perilla leaf?»
«Yes!» he nuzzles his nose deeper into you, almost as if by doing so his mind could hide from the outwardly flimsy problem.
«You should do that to me! It’s intimate, too sweet to do with him!»
«Jungkook, I was helping Taehyung out, he’s my friend» 
«You helped him with your chopsticks, that you put into your mouth and eat from, and it’s- why didn’t you do it with me?» he mewls. You seriously don’t think you should be laughing right now, cause he’s serious and it’s something important for him yet you can’t help but find the situation amusing.
«You were fine on your own!» you blurt.
«And I would’ve done the same if-»
«No you wouldn’t, cause you don’t want them to know that there’s more between us» he squeezes you tighter but levels his face to yours, blinking as he takes in your closeness.
«We’re barely speaking when we’re all together. You’re so into not showing what we are that you’re barely acting like you’re my best friend, it wasn’t like this before»
«That’s not true! I-»
«The other time, you didn’t greet me,» he reminds you of what happened at Eunji’s place «yesterday when I came in you didn’t say anything»
«Cause they were there» you huff back, but he just raises his eyebrows and nods.
«Yes, but it wasn’t like this before. You- didn’t even say hi. Earlier too, all you do is… getting far. I can’t even put my arm around you anymore that- you feel the need to part, at Taehyung’s place too, why do we have to wait?» he keens at the last sentence.
«You’re far, too far and I- I can’t… I don’t like this. I feel like we’re not- like we’re back at having each other but not wholly. I want- shit, I want you. I want to have you, in front of everyone,» he blubbers as he stares down at you «I don’t want to care if they see us being too sweet or clingy and just being a couple» 
Jungkook isn’t filtering his words anymore. His chest feels heavy and now he realises that- it was this that was making him annoyed. Getting to you for a second but feeling distant the second later, this continuous game of seesaw where you’re on the same board, apparently on the same page but still so far and out of reach, you balance yourself on the same point only for just a second, and then you’re back to where you were.
His breath fans your face and your hair tickle your skin, he lays his forehead on yours: «I can’t hold it back, I’ve been holding myself back for so much time that… I don’t want to. And I know that you need time and you’re doing this to get used to us and it’s going to happen soon anyway but- I just wish I could show you. I want to do the same that Jin does with Hana and Yoongi with Hyunjoo and even Jimin with Eunji, I-» he stops himself to let out a deep breath and tries to regain his lucidity. 
He knows, he knows that you’re doing this to love him in the right way for you but… he just can’t hold it back anymore. Too much time, too many years, too many moments in which he wished he could just be more for you, too many feelings never told or shared. Your love is enough to keep him through all of this, to make him keep going without asking a second time to where you’re heading, but when you seem out of reach its just-
«It’s scary» he realises.
Silence fills the air up again and for a moment Jungkook feels as far as he’s ever been even though he’s in your arms in front of you, just an inch away.
«I’m scared» he breathes out. His eyes previously lost in thought now look at you with more focus.
«It reminds me of when we were friends and all I could do was wonder how it could be and have you only when we had sex. When I made love to you that time, I-» he shakes his head «I felt like it was going to be the most I could get of you, and I needed to cherish it and live it as much as possible cause I knew that you didn’t want more from me and that that was all I could get. Like I had to get enough from it, cause it was the closest I could have you and in the deepest way possible. That time, it felt consuming and I cried so much when you left my bed cause I knew- I knew that it was it, just that»
«Even though I had you in the deepest way possible you- you weren’t mine. And I know that it’s different now cause we talked about it and we’re trying but- I don’t want to feel this,» his fingers cradle the shirt on his chest «I don’t want to get just enough of you» 
He munches on his lips for a few seconds, eyes low on his shoes as he tries to understand the right words to say, they just get mixed up and all he can do is hoping for you to realise what he’s meaning.
«I want to love you. I wanna be sweet and gentle and I want to see your eyes shine when you look at me cause you’re in love with me as much as I’m in love with you. I don’t want to always wish for us to be alone to be able to have you in this way, and I know that you’re doing this to get used to us and feel more comfortable but it’s making me lose my mind. Taehyung is always hugging you and doing all kinds of stuff and I’m- I’m your boyfriend» it sounds more like a question than an affirmation «and I can’t even hug you as I used to cause you think they would understand. I can do it, but know just- it’s killing me»
His rant comes to an end. He just shuts his mouth, regains his breath as he looks at your face, he desperately tries to understand what you’re thinking and feeling, his heart thumps in his throat and he’s sweating even though it’s almost about to rain and there’s a soft wind blowing. Truth is, his words leave you thoughtless. You don’t know what to think, what to say, what’s the right answer. Because inside you, you’re the one who wants him wholly. You want him, crave for his love, need his lips, yearn for his comfort and words, breathe for his presence. But outside, when you’re met with the world, all you can do is face the way you are and understand what you should be doing to make this relationship solid and strong. Maybe you’ve been wrong all along and should’ve just lost your senses to him from the very beginning. You should’ve told to everyone what happened between you and should’ve just took it as it was, but something inside you doesn’t fit well with it because you just don’t feel ready enough. You love him, you love him so much you’d be ready to do everything he asks you to, but this somehow makes you quiver. 
«I’m scared too,» you breathe «cause what if- like, what if we do this and it doesn’t work? What if we’re not ready, if I can’t love you right? I know Jungkook my friend and how to love you in that way, I don’t- it’s sounds stupid, but what if the way I love you isn’t what you were seeking for me all this time and I just- let you down? If I’m not enough and everyone knows, what will we do then, these are the thoughts that stop me. Not for our friends or in general, but for us too, how will we act? I’m scared because- fuck, the thought of losing you makes me freeze in fear, Jungkook. I’m trying, I’m really trying to getting used to this but before- before it was… it didn’t feel like a thin line between us. Like, I knew that you were there even if we screamed and yelled at each other, you were just there. If we break up, our friendship… what will happen to that? What-»
«It’s not happening» he cuts you off. You shake your head.
«You say that now, but-»
«No, I say it cause it’s not happening, in any near vision of the future I have or the rarest ones» his nostrils flatter as he speaks and his tone is firm and still as a mountain on the ground, roots deep and strong in his soil.
«I loved you for six years. I went through hell just to get to this, I loved you for every second of the day and all I did was be beside you,» he clenches his jaw «it’s simply not happening. For me, at least. I know what I feel, and I know that the only reason I kept staying beside you was because of you, simply. I love you» his eyes are watering.
«I love you so much that I don’t picture myself without you. I don’t see a future where you’re not in it, and even though I know I could live without you, I just don’t want that» he shakes his head with vigour, his eyes glued to yours make you gulp harshly.
 «Even when we fight, even now. It’s still the same as before, you can yell at me and tell me that you hate me, that I’m annoying, I’m a jerk or whatever the hell you want but- I’m grounded. I don’t move, I don’t care. If there’s a scenario in which you won’t love me anymore then-» he cuts himself off, his right eye spilling out a tear that marks his cheek «all I could do would be to accept it. But that won’t happen for me. I know it, it won’t. I’ll be waiting with my arms open like I told you last time and the time before, even in this kind of relationship. You’re still my best friend, other than my partner and- I won’t waver. I promise you, and I’m so sorry if in some way I made you think that you couldn’t love me in the way I want you to cause- no» he scoffs as his eyes fill up more with tears.
«Hell, no. There’s no one that could love me in a better way, I- your love is just- it consumes me. It makes me feel in all kinds of way and I can’t get enough of it. I want it, all the time and in every situation because of that» he sniffles and licks his lips, the salty taste of tears makes him look down once more to the ground.
«I don’t want to pressure you. I don’t want to do anything that might scare you off and I’m as scared as you now cause- what if you’re saying this cause you’re- you’re giving up? You don’t want… I can’t even say it»
«Jungkook, no» something inside you makes you grab him by his shoulders. His lips are reddish and his cheeks wet make your eyes tingle. Shit, no.
«What if I scared you off with everything I said? You might say no now but if you’re not ready to tell them, it means you’re insecure about us, right?» his lips tremble slightly and god, your heart clenches. 
«You don’t know if there’s a future for us, what I see isn’t there for you» his voice is so thin that you feel you’re about to break. And as if it wasn’t enough, it starts to rain almost as if someone from the clouds was listening ready to answer to all of his negative thoughts with a sign. His eyes stay on yours though, a shadow of fear lights them up just to hide between his pupils a second later. Jungkook munches the inside of his upper lip.
«You know I don’t move fast and I like things to take their time, right? It was just what I feel but it doesn’t have to be what you feel now, but I love you. For real baby, it doesn’t matter if for now you don’t see us together in the future, just-»
«I see that, Jungkook» you stop his words with a caress of your hand on his wet cheek, nodding. You could- you couldn’t bare the thought of him having such worries in his mind, not when your soul is so intertwined with his that you can’t see anymore where yours starts and ends.
«I see it, but it feels scary cause we’ve never been on this path before. It’s different, but I see us in that way. I’m just scared that my fantasy might not become reality, that’s- that’s why I wanted to get used to this first but now- I can’t» you shake your head. You see his face go from relieved to understanding to scared again, hands grabbing your sides at the fear of you walking away and out of his reach for the last part of your statement. He tells himself to breathe, to just wait for you to speak and relax but all he can do is hold his breath until he’s running out of air.
«I can’t do this if it hurts you. I don’t want to, so- what… what do you think we should do? Do you want to tell them? Do you-»
«I didn’t tell you all of that to convince you to tell them. It was just becoming too much and I couldn’t hold it anymore in, you don’t have to- I mean, maybe I hoped you would’ve, but you don’t have to» he pulls you closer to nuzzle his face against your neck once more. His tears wet your skin and you feel his hot breath fanning you when he realises a sigh at the contact, your body still close and your arms wrapping around him once more just as you did at the beginning of your talk. It’s reassuring, familiar. It makes him relax a bit and melt into you.
«To have you like this it’s not enough because I wish I could show you and give you more than what I can give when we’re only by ourselves, but if that’s what you want and need now…»
«Let’s tell them» you blurt. Your hand caresses his hair, eyes staring at the wall in front of you. Jungkook hums with a cute astonished tone that makes you scoff and tell yourself that it will be okay, his face raises to yours to study your features. You gulp down your insecurities for as much as you can and nod at him.
«Let’s tell them. I don’t want to hurt you by keep doing this. I think that-» you breathe in deeply, pondering on what his words made you realise just a second ago «my doubts are still going to be here for as long as I don’t get comfortable enough with this, like with myself not being scared. If it will take long, we’ll have to act like this for too much time? And I guess that if my fears are going to become real it will happen anyway even if they don’t know»
«What do you mean it will take long?» he smacks your asscheek lightly, a endearing smile appears on his lips. It makes you smile too.
«It will take long to get used to me loving you?» he scoffs loudly, eyes moving to the side for a second and then getting back to yours.
You giggle at him, squeeze him tighter «You know what I mean» you huff. 
«And yes, I’m still not used to you loving me in this way too» 
«I will help you get used to it,» he pecks your cheek «just please do what you feel more comfortable to. Don’t feel pressured or forced, I don’t wanna do that. Whatever way, baby. I’m willing to accept whatever you can give me»
«Let’s not do that anymore,» you let out a shaky breath «maybe I need to feel a bit of pressure to do this, so please pressure me? Let’s go inside and just tell them? Pressure me, please» 
Jungkook doesn’t mean to, but he laughs at your words. He laughs and throws his head back, hair a bit damp and laughter crystal clear and high pitched. Only when he comes back with his eyes on you the corners of his lips lower and set themselves on a little, sweet and reassuring smile that makes your heart fuller.
«Y/n, I can really wait. But just reassure me from time to time cause I’ve been holding back for so much and sometimes-»
«Can you reassure me too, now? And push me over the edge a little? It’s- bad to say it but I think I really needed for you to break out like this to make me gather the courage to face what really scared me. I think that it will help me to have you like this, in other situations too? Maybe it will feel more like before and my mind will stop drawing the line between friendship and- this, and realise that it’s just the same as before» 
You really believe it, or at least have faith in it. Maybe feeling him the way you used to feel him before, without having to worry of getting yourselves away from the eyes of your friends or the others in general will make you feel more comfortable, more familiar with what you’re sharing without the fear of losing it, because it’s just the same as before. Jungkook is still your best friend, will always be. You want him to tease you when your hair are both grey and to kiss you when your energies won’t be as high as now, bring some comfort and sense of youthful to your older days. To be honest, you always had that image in your mind. Even when you didn’t know what you were feeling… Jungkook was always there, in your farthest visions of future, teasing and annoying the hell out of you with his ways but still there after all the time. It’s just the same as before with this too, you guess.
«And this? What’s this?» he pinches your hip teasingly, making you hiss at him.
«Aish, Jungkook!» you keen at the muffled pain and he beams lightly, covering the injured zone with his hand. 
«Sorry,» he pouts, eyes big «does it sting?»
«A little, I felt better before» you scoff.
«This what?» you echo, he clicks his tongue.
«You said friendship and this. What’s this?» he’s smiling even as he speaks, cheekbones high. And with his eyes so deep and profound that shine even under the light drops of the rain you can see it from a mile away that he just wants to hear you say it out loud. 
«This,» you peck his petals sweetly, his bottom lip sticks out a little to maintain the contact just a millisecond more as you part, eyes dreamy «relationship?» 
He stretches out a hum: «So I’m you’re boyfriend now?» he scoffs.
You raise your eyebrows. 
«You said that before. I was just following»
«Keep following then, I like it» he titters, doing his labelled nose scrunch that makes your insides twist and turn.
«We’re in a relationship» he hums again, all smiley and lovey-dovey. You shake your head.
«Are you a teen or what?» you laugh. His chuckles make the sound of the rain become faint until it’s just indistinct silence.
«Yah, stop teasing me! We never said that out loud» 
«Just this once» you let go, slapping his asscheek.
«I think you have a problem with my butt,» he clicks his tongue «you like it a little too much, why do you slap it all the time?» he giggles.
«Aish, stop that. We should go back in» you shrug, Jungkook squeezes you just once more.
«That was- I was trying to push you over the edge?» he doesn’t even know what he’s saying.
«Guess that didn’t work» he scoffs. You can’t hold it, you kiss his lips and god yes, this works definitely. He totally wasn’t expecting it, not when you’re outside and your friends just meters away and could come out in any second, not in this way at least. So deeply and loving and needy that he moans in your mouth and his knees feel like jelly, your tongue moves in slow motions and takes all of his love from his chest just to make it yours cause it was yours already in the first place.
«Try something else?» you coo when you part. Jungkook breathes in deep, trying to regain what’s left of his sanity after your attempt at killing him with your sweet ways. 
«Are you sure, you really want it?» his tone is serious, thoughtful as he looks for any signs of quiver on your face. Having you like this it’s too much too handle but the thought of forcing you into doing something that may make you uncomfortable feels worse. When you nod sure though, all he can do is promise to try to melt your insecurities more everyday with every part of him and love you in the most honest, vulnerable and deepest way he can. He knows it from the way you’re looking at him that you’re not going to change your mind, you’re just looking for his affirmation, you just need to be encouraged.
«If you really want to, let’s tell them,» he pecks your forehead «just, not today? I feel like they have to tell us something important and I don’t want to shift the spotlight on us»
«What something?» you wonder.
«Don’t know, but it’s weird that they invited just to celebrate officially. We all already knew they were expecting» he caresses your hip as he speaks, after all it makes sense, you guess. It’s been a while since they announced Hyunjoo was pregnant, why celebrate now? They would’ve done it sooner, maybe.
«Okay» you nod. It’s weird how you feel your body lighter, you weren’t realising it before but now you do notice the difference, and it feels- less burdensome. You needed this to let go of what was holding you down and to face your fears, to make your roots stronger in the soil. You just wish for the day you’ll tell them to come soon, because you suppose that the sooner it will be the easiest too to just let go wholly.
«Do you remember what I texted you when you went away?» he lays his chin on your head, speaks as you bend your arms to place your hands on his shoulders. You nod slightly from under him, fingers dipping into his skin as his words flash in your mind.
«It will always be like that,» he mumbles. 
«even when you’re not beside me I’ll always keep my arms empty for you, even when things are fine. I’ll keep them open. Even if we fight and scream and hate each other in the moment» 
You kiss his neck, when you blink against him your eyelashes tickle him, Jungkook shivers and he’s not sure if it’s because he’s feeling ticklish or because you do things to him that he can’t explain.
«I love you» you murmur, eyes looking up at him. The rain has wetted you hair a bit, thankfully it isn’t too much and it’s already stopping, but even like this you look like you were painted by the gods themselves to him. He holds his breath, smiles first with his eyes.
«I love you too, love»
Tumblr media
When you came in your friends were cheerfully talking about Yoongi and Hyunjoo, when you strolled to the table your eyes met yours to check how you were doing. The smile that Jungkook flashed seemed enough to reassure them, making them go back to their conversation, Namjoon peeking over to double check Jungkook’s features. 
He takes his sit, hands resting on his lap before he looks at the dish still full in front of him. The rice has cooled but he’s hungry and so are you, you hear Jimin ask meat to Jin and Yoongi, Hoseok scolds him and Taehyung laughs at his request, Eunji shakes her head. You eat your perilla leaf with the rice and linger in the slightly minty flavour, humming in contentment at the taste. Taehyung’s dish is empty and you feel his gaze pierce right through you as he peeks at Jungkook from time to time, obviously trying to understand his mood and what happened. You wonder if he knows at least a bit, if the others know too. Maybe Jungkook told them when he had feelings for you? 
Eunji kicks her foot on your knee, eyes big and full of questions and you just shrug at her, making her click her tongue in annoyance. She must be thinking that you’re back to sleeping with Jungkook. You decide not to care for now, bringing another bite of food in your mouth, you will tell her soon. The evening goes on cheerfully just like most of the times; Jin talks about the restaurant, Hoseok tells you stories about his new class of dancers, Namjoon talks about the book he read recently and how it made him think about what Yoongi and Hyunjoo have.
«Yah, geumanhae» Yoongi moves his hands in front of his face, his cheeks red but he’s smiling.
«Hyung, for real!» you can say that Namjoon is enjoying making him flustered.
«It really made me think»
Hyunjoo smiles, tapping her hand on her boyfriend’s shoulder.
«What are you so shy about?»
«I’m not shy, I’m flustered»
«That’s the same thing!»
«It isn’t!» he raises her eyebrows at her. Namjoon shakes his head. Jimin’s laughter suddenly fills the table, loud and giggly he covers his mouth with his fist as he bends over the table. 
«Sorry, but-» he laughs again «I just remembered when Yoongi hyung came home after meeting you for the first time» he points at Hyunjoo, eyes narrowed as he keeps giggling. Jungkook and you break out too, suddenly remembering the scene.
«Aish, hajima!» He whines again and throws his head back, but the scene was just so hilarious that it would be a waste not to share it.
«She has to know this» Jimin shrugs.
«What happened?»
«I was-» he keeps on laughing «I was cooking with Y/n and Jungkook was sitting on the couch. He came in staring at his phone and didn’t even see him» 
Jungkook nods: «Actually, I was laying on the couch» he snorts
«Aigoo» she already pictures where this is going.
«He sat on him-»
«He didn’t just sit! He threw himself on the couch!» Jungkook cuts him off, face contracted in a scowl of pain.
«Me and Y/n-» he laughs pointing at you, full teeth on display.
«We just heard them from the kitchen but it was hilarious. Turns out he was staring at your pictures on Instagram» you explain.
«I never thought Yoongi hyung could wait so much,» Jungkook chuckles, hands rubbing his thighs «his weight, aish he isn’t even that big but I was sleeping and suddenly- bang!» the sound effect he makes at the end sends you rolling on the floor with laughter, Yoongi’s shocked sounds still echoing in your ears.
He covers his face with his hands, Hyunjoo laughs beside him as the others do the same. She pulls him to him, the man shakes his head and hides in in her neck, hair falling over to hide him from the embarrassment. You see her whisper something to him but don’t know what she’s saying, Yoongi nods slightly and sits back straight, a big smile on his face.
«After you’re done with making fun of me, we have something to announce» he clears his throat. Hyunjoo stands up from her chair, her hand reaching his shoulder again while she looks down at you all and Yoongi takes his place beside her with a big beam, his hand cupping her belly lovingly. Jungkook’s eyes shot wide open, lips contracted in a “o”. The table fills with silence, everyone is waiting for them to speak and you can feel the excitement bubble up for the news.
«We’re expecting-» she gets cut off by the dumbass beside you.
«A girl! I can feel it» you smack your best friend’s shoulder.
«Shut up» you scold. Hyunjoo laughs, her eyes on you two.
«Yoongi» she calls. The man beside her nods.
«A princess» he scoffs looking at Jungkook, annoyed and amused at the same time.
«It’s a girl!» he literally screams. After that it’s just smiles and happiness, everyone is clapping and the restaurant gets filled with hugs and pats and words of encouragement.
Jungkook grins widely, his teeth exposed and eyebrows raised he claps his hands and gets up to hug his friend, just after Jin. Your beam is contagious and it only makes Jungkook smile more, when you look at him his eyes sparkle. Promises to be the best aunts and uncles for the soon to come baby are shared, Yoongi is already talking about some names that they thought about, Hyunjoo has her eyes wet. 
You can’t wait, nobody can’t. Seeing Yoongi get to know Hyunjoo and fall in love was one of the experiences that you feel lucky to have witnessed. You saw him madly in love, watched him when he thought that she wasn’t the type of person to go well with him because of their different personalities, saw them fall in love and fight more than a bunch of times and do it all over again. You remember when he told you he couldn’t live anymore without her, relive the time he cried with you and Jimin cause he was missing her when they had a bad fight and she needed to spend some time on her own, see them happy now after trying for a year. Their story brings tears to your eyes almost every time you think about it, it’s one of those that you would love to read about. You love both of them so much that you couldn’t wish for anything better, cause they already are the best of the best for each other, and all you can do is start to count the days until you’ll meet the result of their incredible love.
Tumblr media
Your house is silent and the atmosphere cozy, Jungkook’s fingers are softly stroking your hair on the couch and your mind is full of him and him only. How he talked to you today, the words he said, the safeness and reassurance they brought to your uneasy mind, the love in his eyes and the salty tears on his cheeks. It fills you up until you feel an odd sense of belonging and yearning come together and take every living fibre of your body. You snuggle your nose into the side of his neck, his hand runs down your side to engulfs you into him, back against his chest and one of his legs crossing yours laid on the pillows. Jungkook’s chest is firm under you but incredibly comfortable and you find it so big that you feel the need to turn around and hide your face into it just to feel him closer. 
Jungkook lets out a airy breath, the softness of your hair makes his fingertips oversensitive just to take in every single detail of you, your body soft and totally limp on top of him to adore, to squeeze and nuzzle into. He wishes he could freeze this moment and make it last for more than he could ever ask for, remember the sensation of it all and keep it locked inside him for when he feels low-spirited or weary. 
«Have to shower» you mumble not really inclined to leave his embrace. Jungkook pecks your head sweetly, nods under you but squeezes you tighter.
«I have to shower too. Do you wanna cuddle afterwards or are you going to bed?» his cute lisp makes you smile. 
«Wanna cuddle» you munch on your lips, you wish you could see his face when you add «in the shower»
«Hmm?» his hum is one of those that slip out when he’s excited, slightly high pitched and not sure if he heard your words right.
«Let’s shower» you nod sitting up and turning your head to him. Laid on the pillows, his mouth is open and his eyebrows raised.
«Do you want to?»
«Do- do y-you mean together?» he stutters a bit, totally taken aback. His eyes are sparkling with hope and his enthusiasm is given out when he as soon as he speaks, the cute stutter habit he’s always had when he’s enthusiastic. You nod slightly and Jungkook snaps up with his eyes wide.
«Rea- really?»
«Yes,» you smile amused«if you want to?»
«Oh-aish, yes!» he nods eagerly but stops before he passes the point of not return.
«But- are you sure? We don’t ha-»
«I’m sure,» your eyes stay firm into his «I was scared of this too, I guess» 
He gulps down, hands coming back to your sides as he rests his chin on your shoulder.
«Open up to me?» his request is low, as if he doesn’t want it to sound like an obligation but more like an invitation, soft and muffled and honey-coated. When he kisses your cheek lovingly you dive deeper against him, the firmness of his chest behind you and the cage of his arms around you make you feel safe in a way that you could never describe. You feel the most frail when you’re in his arms and the most intrepid you’ve ever been at the same time, it makes your chest swell up with a feeling that is bittersweet and so deep that you feel like drowning. 
«I guess- I didn’t want us to get too sexual?» you shake your head.
«I thought that it would end up with us fucking, every time you asked me to shower together. It’s probably just the same as sleeping in the same bed, I guess»
Jungkook munches on his lips, slightly nodding.
«You don’t want that?» he’s not asking because he wants that to happen but to understand you fully. 
«I don’t know,» you huff «I didn’t, I think. But now I don’t know, like- I was scared that by being too sexual we- kind of lost sense? And I wanted things to move at their pace, not to rush. We’re living together already and it’s like we kind of skipped the part of the beginning of the relationship, the part where you get to know each other»
«I don’t think we’re in that part,» he lets out, hands rubbing your hips «we’ve been in that part already, I think? We know each other- deeply too»
«I know, but like- know each other in a relationship like the one we have now» you explain. He nods again.
«I got what you mean. But I think it’s- we love each other» he brushes his nose against the column of your neck just to tickle you «if we’re already there, how can we go back to getting to know each other? Like- I know what you mean, but I think that only comes with time? Wether you start from something that’s different from what we already had or from our starting point- I just know that I love you. And by that I mean that I want you in whatever way you’re able to have me and be. I don’t care if I find something that I might find annoying or- I love you. I just- want you»
«I realise it now» you squeeze his cheeks between your thumb and the rest of your fingers, his lips puffy and shutting up. Jungkook frowns, hums annoyed but let’s you do your thing, booping his nose and kissing the soft flesh of his cheek. When you let go, his act of displease shatters in pieces and a big beam replaces it on full display.
«I didn’t before» 
His arms squeeze you more, he shuts his lips for a while. The feelings in his chest get so mixed up that it’s hard to discern them, he just wishes that you could read through them all to see how transparent they are in fact.
«I love you» he hums, tone childish. It’s so out of the blue that you find yourself giggling and shaking your head, eyes rolling at the way he squeezes you to him. He bites your shoulder lightly as he nuzzles his nose into your skin.
«And what do you mean by losing sense?» he suddenly stops, voice muffled. 
«Losing sense, like- only getting sexual? Doing things just to get there, I don’t want that»
«I don’t want that neither, baby» he breathes and rests his chin on you again, hydrates his lips with his tongue.
«I love when we have sex. I love it, it’s like- some type of magic and it’s so intimate and vulnerable that it makes me overwhelmed every time, but- I don’t want you to think that it has to end like that» he shakes his head.
«If it ends like that it’s good, but it doesn’t have to. I love doing things with you just for the sake of it, cause you- you’re the person I want to share myself with» 
Your head rests on his shoulder as you let his words engulf you, tone lovely and calm.
«And it- we don’t lose sense if we feel like being sexual too. It’s beautiful, it means that we’re comfortable with each other that much»
«I know but when I think about it, it scares me» you let out a heavy breath.
«Eunji… do you remember how it ended up with that guy?»
«Eunji, what- what guy? The security guard?» he frowns totally out of place. You smack him on his thigh lightly, a scoff coming out of your lips. 
«No, Koo. Hyun?»
«Hyun?» his mind is totally blank.
«Hyun, the lawyer. The guy that she was friend with for a little and-»
«Oh! Yes, I remember him» he nods eagerly. 
«What does it have to do with us?»
«I don’t know, but- when I talked to her about us and we weren’t together yet she remembered me of what happened with him. I guess that thought blocked me too»
«Eunji knows?» he turns his face, eyes big and lips open.
«She doesn’t, she knows that we used to sleep together though»
He scrunches his nose, goes back to caress your hair.
«What happened with him was- it’s not us. They didn’t have anything. We- we love each other. We’ve been friends for a long time, we saw each other in every way» he puffs out a breath.
«And even if there are times when we’ll get too sexual, that doesn’t mean that we’re just looking for sex. There’s more, there’s trust, there’s-» he stops his rant because you peck his nose «stop that, I’m trying to be serious» 
«Oh, sorry» you face in front of you and Jungkook scoffs, giving up just to peck your cheek.
«Baby, for real» he whispers.
«I think it’s normal that in a relationship there are times or periods when there is a high sex drive but that doesn’t mean that we’re looking just for sex or love each other any less» 
«I know,» you nod «I’m just scared to get too caught up into it and lose what I have around me- like, lose you»
«It won’t happen,» he clicks his tongue «it won’t cause even if we get too caught up with it, it’s not- just sex» he digs his chin deeper into your shoulder.
«It’s more, I’m not fucking you just because you’re sexy or I find you attractive- it’s a whole different thing. It’s-» his fingers turn your face to make your eyes meet him.
«I’m making love to you. Even if we fuck each others brains out or have sex in Taehyung’s bathroom, there’s always more. There are always emotions and feelings and how much I love you. Every time, every single time. Even- if it’s not romantic at all and it’s just rough and needy, I- love you»
«And to know that you could trust me that much- to make me have that part of you, to allow me to live you in that way too makes me feel so fucking good and happy. How- how could that make us senseless or pointless? It’s love, I’m always making love to you»
«Fuck, stop. You’re gonna make me cry» you don’t think you can hold his words for much longer. Hearing him say things like this makes your brain melt and your insides twist with warmth and safeness and you wish you could just hide from the world and cry your eyes out for how much and how deeply you love him. 
He huffs a giggle, kisses your nose, stares at your wet eyes. Jungkook wants to give you everything you never had, everything he can give and more than both you and him could ever imagine. He wants to shower you with all the love he has inside him and with every little spark of it that colors the world. If he could take the light from the sun just to add a drop of love and appreciation to your world, he would do it right the fuck now. You make him want to lose himself and never find it again, live in the melody of your laughter and only see the sight of your smile. If his senses could be commanded he’d feel only when his fingers trace your curves and every part of you, from head to toe, he’d smell only your perfume and taste only your kisses and your salty tears, hear only your laughter and your voice when you sing and see only your eyes and how your shoulders swell when you laugh. 
«I’m- I’m here for whatever you’re willing to give and I’ll wait for the things that you don’t feel comfortable with yet» he whispers. 
You smile, and fuck, the love he has for you. An incredible amount that he never thought was possible, so much that it makes him crazy and desperate to give it in every way possible. His lips peck yours softly, so lovingly and so feather-like that he feels you shiver against him, back pressed into his chest and his arms wrapped so tight that a world outside doesn’t exist anymore. His lips are soft and they make you addicted with the feelings they bring, your eyes stay shut even when you part. He keeps you close and rests his forehead on yours, smiles at your expression as lost as his.
«I love you,» his thumb strokes your cheek «so freaking much I can’t put it into words»
«I know,» you push yourself more into his hand «it’s the same for me. I just- love you» 
When you open your eyes, you’re not sure where the hell you’ve been for all your life. Because to lose this sight- for god’s sake, it’s almost laughable how anyone wouldn’t stop to just stare at him. Yours, he’s yours and he’s always been and for all this time, all these worries and all your insecurities- they can’t outbalance this. Nothing can, nothing when he makes you feel this way, this loved and cherished. 
«Let’s shower,» you puff out «let’s shower» 
As if it wasn’t clear enough for him the first time. Jungkook nods and his lips peck you once more, when he looks in your eyes to check if you’re certain about what you’re doing they don’t shift, don’t budge for a nanosecond. They stay firm, staring into his pupils and spurring him on more to leave the couch and take care of you and show you how deep his love is. And fuck, it’s so deep that there’s no end to him anymore. 
There’s no end to the affection his arms carry with your body between them, holding you close to him even when he’s standing and you’re smacking his ass lightly and making him giggle, no such depth was ever measured in the world. The intimacy between your souls could never be described, it’s so emotional and compelling that you both feel it in your bones, in every nerve, every fibre of your bodies. You’re addicted to it, in love with it and with him with every living piece of you. 
You stroll to the bathroom, Jungkook engulfs you in his arms, he stomps his feet against the floor making the both of you stumble twice, giggles filling the air as you enter the room. He opens the water of his shower, checks the temperature before taking off his clothes and laying them on the counter beside the sink, eyes meeting yours when he sees you standing still and eyeing him. Totally naked, you can’t tear you eyes off of him. It’s like his body was painted by Botticelli, Da Vinci maybe. Lines perfect, every ridge and curve sweet but incredibly excruciating, agonisingly beautiful so. Skin yellowish and fair, lips reddish and full, long slender fingers beckoning you to him to hold you close, closer. Close is never enough with you. His cock is half hard but Jungkook doesn’t want to do anything about it, he just wants to feel you like this, have you in this way, linger in the trust you have in him. 
You let him hug you, let him kiss you drunk. 
Your fingers on his skin feel so good that he doesn’t think he will ever get used to them, they stroke his back as his hands reach the hem of your dress to help you out of it. 
«I love you so much» he lays a smooch on your cheek. 
«We say it so much» you mumble as you hide your face in his neck. He kisses your shoulder, lets his hand dance on your back in lovingly motions.
«Cause we love so much» he breathes.
His words leave you spinning, your mind is empty but your heart is full and swollen, your eyes travel back on his face to flash a smile at him. 
«Undress me» you nod. 
He beams devilishly, «Uh? We’re getting confident»
«Oh, shut up,» you shake your head «gonna do it myself-»
«No, no. Let me» he holds you still. His fingers lower back to the edge of your dress, as he grabs the cloth to make it slide on your skin he keeps his sight on your face and feels his lungs losing air when your cheeks color of a faint shade of red, the dress halfway over your hips. His soft lips caress your nose, your forehead and a second later he slides the material off of your arms in the air and over your head- no, he leaves it on your face.
«Jungkook!» your irritated tone makes him  erupt in a laugh and finally he takes it off. Your lips are contracted in a pout, a scowl on your face.
«You’re so annoying» you whine. 
«I like annoying you,» he pulls you closer to him «you’re cute when you pout»
«I’m always cute» you nod jokingly.
«Aish, too much is too much,» he shakes his head, his right hand smacking your asscheek lightly «should I shut you up?»
«That’s rude» your eyes widen.
«Why? With kisses?» he clicks his tongue. 
«Kisses? Oh-» 
«You thought I meant-» he stops to laugh, high pitched and melodious «rude?»
«The way you said it was rude, not the- wait, don’t laugh! So annoying, I hate you» 
«Aish, such a crybaby» he fondles you into his arms, his nose nuzzles into the crook of your neck and you let the blood that rushed to your cheeks get back to its usual path by hiding your face on his chest. 
«It’s not the right moment for that,» he breathes «now I just want to take care of you and shower you with kisses» 
«Your cock is hard» you hum sternly, making him scoff.
«Let it be,» he puffs out «we don’t have to do anything about it. I just wanna have you like this,» he kisses your shoulder blade «close and intimate» 
His fingers tickle your thighs, they slide perfectly over the cloth of your stockings and he hums on your skin when he hooks his fingers over the band, parting enough to take them off. When he’s done, you finally build up the courage to look down, and god- you wish you didn’t. He’s on his knees, starry night eyes looking up at you, deep and love drunk, totally lost. He look ethereal and so fucking pretty that your knees buckle and you have to close your eyes for a second, only to regain what’s left of yourself. 
Jungkook’s fingers travel all the way up from your ankles to your calves, to your knees and your thighs, until they reach your hips and he cups them softly. He kisses under your belly button, makes you look back down at him and a second later he’s lowering your panties and you feel so exposed that you want to cover your eyes. It’s stupid, you know it well but to have him like this, looking at you with his nose almost against your pelvis and his eyes drawing stars in your sky, it’s different than having him in bed. You were making love all the times you were naked in front of each other, and even though you were so exposed that you felt your soul burn with his touch, having him like this hits in a different way, the same intensity, the same love for each other, the same feeling in your chests but just with a different meaning to it. 
You lift your feet one at a time to help him get the garment fully off, balancing on one leg and steading yourself with your hand on his shoulder, but when he takes them off he doesn’t get up. You see his cock twitch but his eyes never leave yours, not even when he gets closer and lays the sweetest and consuming kiss on your mound, so chaste but loving and addicting that your heart stops beating. He pushes on the ball of his feet and stands up to tower again over you, a little smile takes over his features and his eyes narrow a little, drunk by the feeling of having you like this.
Your hands move on their own, grabbing his fingers and guiding them behind your back. Jungkook smiles more, pecks your neck and your cheek, the tip of your nose and your shoulder as he fumbles with the clasp of your bra, pushes the straps down your shoulders and lets the garment slide off when he parts from you, a shiver of coldness making his way on your skin at the loss of the warmth that his body provided. He can’t wrap his head around you, how beautiful you are. Every inch of skin makes his fingers itch because he’s just that desperate to feel you, even wantonly.
«You’re breathtaking» his words comes out frail, totally vulnerable and overwhelmed.
«I love you,» he shakes his head, feeling dumb for not being able to find a word that represents his feelings more «I love having this part of you- so exposed, just for me» his shoulders fall, and it seems to you that he’s almost surrendering to the hold you have on him; in fact, he is.
«I promise you, baby, there’s always more. It’s not just when we’re having sex, it’s whatever we do. Whatever I do, there’s always more. You’re- you’re love. You’re the meaning of love- for me. Everything I do, even when I annoy you or just make dinner for you or even when we fight or- it’s because I love you so much it fucking overwhelms me. Whatever we do together, don’t ever think that it’s for the sake of it cause- fuck, I love you all the time, everything I do» he breathes. 
The distance between you doesn’t get along to the feeling of warmth you’re craving for, especially when he’s opening himself so much that his chest is looking for air and his voice is full of tenderness. You take a step closer and hold him in your embrace, Jungkook breaths out heavily, his hair tickle your skin.
«So don’t ever think that it’s just about being sexual. It’s not- it’s not like that at all. Every time you- every time you look at me, I could combust just by that. Like this too, having you like this now too makes me feel like I’m- don’t know, can’t even explain it» his voice gets more feeble as he speaks until all there’s left is his whisper in your ears and the thumbing sound of your heart echoing in the bathroom. 
Jungkook is- fucking hell, he’s your world. The colours you perceive, the air you breathe, the softness of your sheets, the warmth of the fire in full winter, your favorite dish, the feeling you get when a long and tiring day is finally over. He’s everything and anything all at once and it makes you want to let go of yourself and find yourself at the same time, love deeper than what you could’ve ever imagined. 
«I won’t,» you hug him tightly «I won’t do it anymore. Thank you, for- loving me as much as I love you» 
Your words have a strange hold on him, he smiles so fucking big but his eyes tingle and he has to bite down on his lips to keep himself rational, cause fuck- he’s still not used to this either. To finally feel you his, under his fingers, in his hold, to have your heart. All the love he had to held back sometimes slaps him in the face and when he faces the reality now it just makes him dizzy. 
«Don’t- thank me for that,» he nuzzles his face into you more «I don’t think I could ever stop» 
You feel something wet on your skin, just slightly. Jungkook sniffles, and then you get it. Your hands fumble with his hair as you kiss his skin, your fingertips dig into his back.
«Did I- did I make you-»
«No,-» he gulps down, raises his head to look at your eyes «I’m- just- fuck, I’m sorry I cry a lot lately» he scoffs to himself.
«No! No baby, just- let it out» you peck his nose. He scrunches it cutely, takes in a staggered breath.
«It’s nothing, I just- sometimes it still doesn’t feel real. To hear you say that- made me emotional, I guess» 
You smile at him. It’s sweet and home-like and a second later you’re squeezing him tighter to you and Jungkook decides to let go. He lays his chin back on your shoulder, closes his eyes, lets your motions lull him and your touch relax him. His cock is tight between you and with your movements you make it a little uncomfortable for him not to focus on the way it throbs and perceives every slight touch as pleasure, but he just lets it be. Having you close like this, so intimately and intoxicatingly bare for him makes him pine to find new ways of loving you, new ways of worshipping every invisible part of you, even the littles ones that no one else ever noticed, not even yourself. 
«Are we going in?» you puff out on his skin. He nods his head but doesn’t part yet, strokes your hair just once more. 
«I wanna lather you all up» he giggles airily and backs away, beckons you with his head to walk in the shower. Your cheeks are flushed when you take a step towards it with his eyes on you and your body, totally love drunk. He doesn’t look at you with mischief, with something that screams for more though, Jungkook just feels grateful to have this part of you. And when he comes in too you feel your heart beat louder because when you look up at him you see it truly, without even having to try; he loves and burns and drowns and breathes just to do it all over again, with you taking over every part of him. It makes you defenceless, more than you could ever handle. It makes you give up, let your hands fall and just open up to him in every way possible cause the safeness you feel with him, in this little space, right against each other, totally exposed and vulnerable, couldn’t reach you even if you were covered and tucked in the warmest blanket. 
You don’t even realise you’re drenched under the water until his hair stick to his face and he pushes them back to regain his sight, totally entranced when he hugs you under the jet. It’s warm, cozy and it feels like the sweetest place in the world when his fingers dig slightly into your skin and he nuzzles against you. He does it a lot, a habit that he doesn’t think he could ever get tired of. It makes him feel closer even if it’s just for a second, it’s intimate and he likes the feeling of you so much that not doing it almost feels like squandering. 
«Thank you» it’s muffled by the sound of the water and his lips on your skin but it’s enough to reach your ears.
«For what?» you hug him back. Jungkook hums lightly.
«For letting me have this part of you,» he whispers «for trusting me this much»
«You know you’re the person I probably trust the most»
«I know,» his lips lay a mushy kiss on your shoulder «thank you» 
You smile and try to move slightly but with his body towering over yours it’s kind of mocking how you don’t manage to move of an inch.
«Soap,» you call out «come to me!»
And Jungkook is back with his giggles, crystal clear even under the water dropping down and filling up the space. 
«What? Why are you like this?» he snickers.
«You won’t make me move!» you laugh.
«I told you I’ll do it,» he clicks his tongue, still giggly «if you call it do you think it’ll come over?»
«Maybe?» you snort «Who knows?»
«Aish, jinjja» he shakes his head incredulous, his nose scrunching when he parts to look at you.
«Don’t scrunch your nose at me» you point your finger on his chest.
«What- why?» 
«Too cute,» your fingertip taps on his pec for twice or thrice «can’t stay focused»
«Too bad that now I know it?» he beams, pushes a strand of your hair away from your face.
«Aish- don’t use it against me,» you warn «are you gonna lather me or not?»
«Did I told you you’re annoying today?» he scrunches his nose, once more.
«You did,» you nod «I’m used to it»
«Unbelievable» his hand lays with a snack on your asscheek.
«Yah, and you say I’m the one who always slaps you»
«I still didn’t get the chance to kiss it» he munches on his lips, obviously teasing you with the conversation you had while making love for the first time. 
«First you should focus on the bodywash»
He scoffs, gets the bottle from the shelf behind you.
«Okay, now do I get to kiss it?»
«Jungkook!» you literally shriek and he laughs so loud that it becomes all you can hear. You watch his eyes narrow and his head fall back, his shoulders raise and fall and all you want to do is make your annoying best friend shut up and stop being so pestiferous with his teasing but you end up laughing too. Jungkook holds you against him and god, you don’t want to live another life if it doesn’t include this too. 
«I’ll stop-» he laughs «I’m just teasing you»
«I know,» you nod «you do it a lot»
He gains back his composure, closes the jet and squashes the bottle to get the right amount of soap on his hand, putting it down just behind you afterwards. He rubs his hands together a bit, just enough to get some lather. He kneels down. Looks up at you. Smiles. His hands grace over your left thigh, just above your knee.
«Does it bother you?» he coos. You take a deep breath to gather your mental strength.
«Not really» 
«It comes so naturally with you,» he smiles, his hands start to caress your skin with just the right amount of pressure as he rubs the soap in «we’ve always been like this»
«You more than me,» you shrug «it’s normal»
«It is,» he kisses your hip and you feel like you’re going to die for how much you love him «it’s my love language, I guess»
«I think it’s just your language» you scoff. Your hand moves fast and a second later he’s squeezing his eyes and hissing in surprise at your mischief actions, soaked under the jet while you giggle. You close it just a second later, glancing at the way he bites on his lips.
«Its yours too, apparently» he squeezes your thigh, lowers his hands on your calf. 
«Sometimes I wonder if it’s my fault that you’re like this»
«Like this what?» you help yourself on his shoulder, Jungkook beams at you lovingly but his teasing goes on.
«So annoying» he moves on on lathering your foot, the tickly feeling of his fingers makes you wince.
«Oh, yes» you nod.
«I had to survive one way or the other» 
«Kiss?» he puckers his lips.
«Hhm?»
«Kiss, give me a kiss?» he coos all smiley. It makes you scoff, how he can move from one thing to another so quickly. Jungkook lets go of your leg as he’s done with his ministrations and you bend to lower yourself to him, his lips still wrinkled and waiting. It’s wet and just a peck but it makes you see the stars and the ocean all at once, the closeness of it. 
He lathers your other thigh, your knee, your calf, your foot, gets back up to tell you how pretty and beautiful you are, teases you some more. And then he‘s kneeling again and squashing the bottle of the intimate soap, you didn’t even notice him grabbing it from the shelf behind you, with his eyes focused on the task as he rubs his hands together. 
He kisses your hips one at a time, chaste and full affection, his eyes meet yours and when he smiles at you, you know he means something more: «I got you» he blows. 
His arm comes around you, his hand on the lower part of your back and the other one cups your pelvis, soft fingers laying just slightly on your lips. You hold your breath as Jungkook lets his fingers slide against you, they part your lips, move forwards and backwards to soap you up properly, rubbing against your most intimate part with such care and such platonically innocence that you feel your soul dance and smile. You feel loved all over, all inside. And when you smile back at him, gosh, it could sound stupid but he thinks this is one of the moments he’ll live again when he sleeps. When he dreams about you, heart pounding and exploding even with his eyes closed and his light snores breaking the silence of the night.
«You’re so pretty» the fingers on your back tap against your skin, his cheeks are full and his eyes starry. He lays a kiss on your mound just like he did before outside of the shower, all smiley and dovey and you want to squeeze him so hard until he bursts out in nothing but pink stars and dreamy clouds.
«Come back up here» you pat his shoulder. Jungkook nods, but only does so in his own way. He kisses slightly upper above your mound, upper again, again and again and more upwards until he passes your navel and still keeps going, he lays a path that divides you in two parts, split open all the way to the valley between your breasts and then up to the meeting point of your clavicles, to your throat and your chin. It’s intoxicating, you feel totally inebriated.
Your lips were made for him to kiss them, sure as hell they were. So soft, pillowy, consuming, breathtakingly so. It makes him desperate, he can’t help it, helpless and so fucking in love every second more. 
«You make me-» you take in a deep breath before he pecks your lips «feel like…»
«Like what?» he huffs against them, nuzzling his nose to yours.
«Don’t know. Like giving up» you puff. Jungkook snorts, scrunching his nose.
«Giving up?» he hums.
«To… everything,» it’s hard to put it into words «to your… love. Feel so overwhelmed everytime»
«If you do that…» he doesn’t finish his sentence, air running out with you so close.
«If I do that…» you smile. Jungkook breathes in through his mouth.
«I’d look after you,» he pecks your lower lip «please, give up» his tone is low, a little whiny, floaty. 
«Just for once,» his hand cups your cheek, his thumb moves upwards and downwards with the most saccharine motions «I love you so much»
«I’m doing it already,» you scoff to yourself «I do it every time. I forged up all of that because I don’t have defences around you. I’m always giving up, you’re too-» you gag on your air silently, shaking your head and trying to regain what’s left of you «inebriating»
«Let it consume you then,» he kisses your forehead «cause I can’t stop. Can’t fucking stop, it’s too much. I love you too much, I want you to feel it,» he pushes you closer to him until his chest is tight against you and his eyes still fixed into yours «cause I feel it from you. And it takes over me. You love me so good, in every possible way»
He reaches your hand and his slender fingers interlock with yours to guide your palm on his chest, just a few inches on the left from the middle. He leaves your hold just to push your palm on his skin; his heart beats under you, loud but melodious, steady and proud.
«That’s what you do to me,» he keeps his touch on your hand, fingers stroking your wrist «that’s what you’ve been doing for all these years. Not a second- there was not a second that it didn’t beat for you»
Your world spins. Even as he kisses the crown of your head sweetly and hugs you for a minute more, even when he goes back to lather the rest of you up, your hair, your word spins. You want him forever. You want him in every way, every day. You want him after a long day and on a relaxing one, on a beach somewhere lost in the world and welcoming you home, you just- can’t control it. It’s so powerful and so deep and so incredibly real and intimate that you feel grounded to earth but high flying in the sky. This is what love is. Love is Jungkook. 
He opens the jet again after lathering himself up, his hair are covered in bubbles and his cheeks full make him look like the happiest he’s ever been, eyes glittering with shining stars. He lets his hands caress you to help the water wash away the soap, lays love over every part of your body with the touch of his palm and his fingertips, kisses you when you smile and it’s too much to control himself, nuzzles his nose on you, the water spraying over your bodies and his arms caging you in. For the first time, you feel it more real, even more than before; how somewhere in a different universe you’re holding each other in the same way, older and with even more memories than what you have now. Wrinkles on his skin and hair grey but your love is still the same, still consuming and taking over the both of you. 
«Koo» you hide in his neck. 
«Love» he hums. He feels your smile on his skin.
«I want…» you curl your fingers to stroke his hips. Jungkook levels your sight with his, two of his fingers push your chin up.
«I know that we said- this isn’t heading to anything else but… I want you to make love to me» 
«Now?»
«Now,» you nod «but…»
«What?» his hand strokes your back, your cheeks flushed make him hug you tighter to show you how comfortable you can be with him. 
«Rough,» you scoff at yourself, making him giggle and raise his palm to the back of your head to stroke your nape «fuck this, I’m not good with words»
«You’re doing amazing, sweetie» he shakes his head amused «talk to me?»
You shoulders raise, chest swells as you breath in: «I want you to… the stuff you said before, do that»
Jungkook laughs at your ways, keeps your figure safe in the cage of his arms as he scrunches his nose.
«You want me to fuck you?» 
«Don’t laugh» you scold.
«I’m sorry,» he smiles «it’s just- you’re so endearing when you’re shy» 
«Koo» you whine. He kisses your neck, nods.
«You want that?» he asks, his attention totally on your face. He takes in your expression, sees universes in your eyes.
«Yes,» you pause «show me that there’s more even though I know it already» 
Clear and straight to the point. Fuck, he may explode from a second to another. 
«Rough?» he breathes. Your heart is pounding in your ears so much that the thrill makes your knees feel like jelly. 
«Rough,» you repeat «however you want it. I- want to just…» your sentence ends in silence, closing your eyes to the caresses of his fingers.
«Are you sure?» 
«I am» 
«Turn around,» he kisses your lips with tenderness but his tone is firm and your body feels so light you don’t even feel it as you do as he asks «bend down a little and put your hands against the wall»
Shit. It’s all you can think about as your chest lays on the marble. The coldness of the material makes you shiver as your hands follow, taking half a step backwards to bend for him. Jungkook stays still, totally entranced by you. Fuck, you make him crazy. Totally whipped. His head is whirling, his eyes are lost on the side view of your face and how beautiful you are with your skin glowing under the light of the bathroom, drops of water running down every inch of your body, the curve of your hips, the tenderness of your skin. God’s sake, you’re the end of him. 
«Koo» you call. He shakes his head, takes a step forward. 
«Sorry, got a little distracted» he hums against your ear, kissing your earlobe. 
«You’re so beautiful» his breath hits your neck and the air makes you shiver, he feels you moving just the slightest, your face disconnecting from the wall. 
«What are you going to do?» your tone makes him smile, curious but frail. 
His lips reach the side of your neck and they disclose a wet kiss and then another one, one more. His chest adheres to your back, the underside of his cock brushing against your asscheek makes you writhe in your spot, he’s been so hard for so long and feeling him like this makes you hold your breath, but Jungkook doesn’t lose his calm. He keeps his sight on your face, his focus on you. His arms come around you, hands cupping your stomach and fingers opening to feel your skin, they stroke and caress you just right, his touch his light but secure and it is rewarded by you squirms and shivers, he makes you want to beg for more. He travels from your navel to between your breasts, then down again. One of his hands steadies on your left hip, the digits of his other one tickle you until he stops on your mound and your breath gets cut. 
«Keep your hands on the wall» he whispers. You don’t even have time to realise what he’s saying because his fingers lower and they slide between your lips and you’re laying your head forward against the wall just at his touch. 
«I want you to let go,» he kisses your skin, licks a patch of it from just right under your head to your shoulder «and just feel good» 
His index finds your core, already wet for him. His cock twitches on you, you feel it move against your back as he gathers your wetness and moves on your clit, feather-like touch that makes you eager and yearn. 
«Can you do that for me?» he huffs. 
Your trembling breath is his answer. His finger moves on the pearl and your legs instantly squeeze around his hand at the sudden pleasure brought, his petals gifting sweet pecks on your shoulder. They make you relax your muscles and open your thighs again, his movement slow and just where you like it the most.
It lasts just for a bunch of seconds though, the air feels cold again when he parts and you close your eyes when you catch him kneeling down on the floor of the shower.
«Oh, fuck» you hiss in advance.
«You’re- I’m gonna die» your words make him laugh.
«Please don’t,» he giggles looking up at you, hands grasping the back of your thighs «just tell me if it’s too much?»
«Too much what?» 
«Anything» he kisses the lower part of your back, eyes glued to your face. His nose brushes against your skin as he lowers himself and his hands move upwards, they burn your skin even when it’s still wet, he parts your asscheeks for his sight only.
Shit, Jungkook is about to lose his mind. Too pretty. 
«Bend forwards just a little more for me?» he coos. When you do as he says, he’s able to get a better view of your pussy too and for god’s sake, he’s salivating just like she is. So wet, so freaking wet he wants to bury himself between your thighs and never face the world again. 
«Fuck, baby. Did I do that?» he hisses through his teeth, lowering his hand to part your lips better with his fingers.
«Do I make you this wet?»
«Kook…» you let out a deep breath, on the edge of your calm.
«Tell me» he moves his finger on your clit, looking back up at you. The way your mouth opens makes him move it again in the same manner, your eyebrows furrowing. 
«Tell me» he echoes. You lay your forehead against the marble.
«You do,» you whine «you make it so fucking wet, Jungkook»
«Fuck, I love when you talk to me» 
You think you’re already on the edge because fucking freaking hell, his tongue suddenly pokes your clit and your legs shake and shit- it feels incredible. He moves his head to accompany his motions, mouth open as he flicks the muscles on your clit, the perfect pressure to make you see stars. He moans against you, face buried in your pussy and his nose poking at your entrance, hands splayed on the underside of your asscheeks to help himself keeping you open for him. 
«My god- Jungkook»
«You like it?» he groans against your core, gathering your wetness on his tongue. It’s so sweet, so addicting.
«Fuck, yes» you nod.
«I love it,» he moves back on your clit, moans on it with his mouth full of your juices, too in love with your little pearl and how good it can make you feel «it’s perfect»
And he’s back at licking it again with the tip of his tongue, focused on the spot you like the most and then from time to time putting pressure with more of the muscle, setting on fire every nerve of the zone. You hold your breath, your chest is swelling in pleasure and your legs are already trembling. 
«Wanna do something» his lips brush on your pussy as he speaks, he doesn’t even dare to part from it.
«What?» you don’t know if you can take whatever it is that it’s running through his mind.
«Not yet,» he kisses your clit, making you whine for him «just relax for now»
«Shit, how am I supposed to- fucking hell, Jungkook» you moan out loud, his tongue sliding through your entrance feels so good. So wet and soft but firm, straight and pointed to push all your buttons right. 
«I love you» he can’t help himself. After all, he guesses that this is what you wanted him to do, show you how much he loves you even while he has his tongue deep inside your pussy.
«Love your pussy too, so much baby» he parts a little to take a look at the mess he’s reduced you to, dripping wet all over and glistening. A finger strokes your clit as he gets back to your hole, tongue sliding inside you so easily, he bobs his head up and down to fuck it inside you, his pace getting faster. You just keep your eyes shut, feeling the way his fingers dig into your flesh and his breath hits your skin every time he moves, the pleasure consuming. 
«Kook, I think I’m- going to cum» it’s already approaching you, it’s been since the moment his tongue poked at your clit and you don’t know how much you will be able to hold yourself back. Your body feels oversensitive, every touch and lick makes your nerves jump.
«You can,» he breathes against you, your legs tightening «wanna make you cum again afterwards» 
Fuck, it’s too much. His words are too much, so fucking hot. 
«Oh- god» you whine and Jungkook loves it. He loves it so much, he loves you so much. To have you like this makes him yearn for more and more, he wants it all. He wants you to give yourself to him and let him take care of you in the sweetest and sexiest way possible, fuck you rough and tell you how much he loves you at the same time, make love to you in every possible way. 
«You don’t know- shit, I don’t think you know the hold you have on me» he groans, speaks as he thrusts inside you, his words are muffled as the sound of your wetness takes over the bathroom. His finger works on your clit and you know that you’re too close to resist more.
«Tell me» you don’t even know what it is that makes you speak, your mouth moves on its own. Jungkook circles his tongue inside you, he curls it just a bit more and you squeeze your eyes as his moan in your pussy echoes in the bathroom. Fuck, you love it so much, so freaking much.
He slides the muscle out while sucking at the entrance of your hole, drinking your juices and growling against you in the sexiest way possible. Two of his fingers enter you, filling you up and replacing his tongue they fuck you so good that you don’t even know how to breathe anymore.
«You make me desperate,» he hisses, rubbing his digit on your clit and adding a bit more pressure «in every way possible. Want you every fucking day, every second cause I’m addicted. Sexually or not, baby»
«Koo, I…»
«I know,» he kisses your skin «cum for me»
«No- I- I love you» your voice breaks, too weary. Jungkook’s heart throbs in his chest, he wishes he could see your features now but to make you turn now would be too mischievous, so he just focuses on making you cum. His lips kiss your back, he raises himself up while he still moves inside you, leaving a path of wet kisses on every inch of skin he manages to reach.
«I love you too, angel» 
He nuzzles his nose on your back, the gesture totally far away from his next words: «Soak my fingers, wanna lick your juices»
Fuck, the room spins, you feel like levitating. Your high hits you so hard that you don’t feel your legs anymore, they tremble and you shiver and Jungkook parts his finger from your clit to wrap his arm around your front, digits digging in your flesh to keep you balanced as he still fucks into you to prolong your orgasm. He kisses your back, breathes you in, loves you more than a second ago if it’s even possible.
The feelings in your chest are long lasting, more than your climax. They fill you up even more when you come down and you notice his uneven breath against you as he holds you steady, safe from anything else that isn’t him. Jungkook kisses your skin endlessly, writes love with his lips until you’re even more drenched than you were under the jet, so much that you feel it deep inside every single bone of your body.
«Come here» he coos, looking up at you even when you still have your head against the marble. You breathe in, turn around to face him. Knees still on the floor, hair wet and lips glistening with your juices, a bit of them on his nose, eyes sweet and starry just like always. You want to laugh because how the hell are you supposed to sit on the floor of the shower when there’s him already, but the way he’s looking at you makes it hard to breathe and a second later you’re kneeling down and trying your best to sit, however his hand on your hips pushes you slightly to make you turn again. Jungkook opens his legs and bends them at your sides to save just a bit more space, you sit in front of him  and he guides your back on his chest. His cock pushes against your skin but the touch of his fingers on your cheek make your attention shift to his face, close and so beautiful it looks unreal. 
His lips connect with yours, soft and pillowy, and your mind fills up with a pinkish haze that seems to escape just to surround you with intimacy and coziness, his arm coming around you to feel just a bit more of your skin.
«What was it that you wanted to do?» you mumble against him, keeping your face turned to face him. Jungkook clicks his tongue, smiling with mischief.
«Later,» he pecks you again «if you want to»
«I want to,» you huff faking annoyance «I told you to fuck me but-»
«Aish, so greedy. Can’t I spoil you a little?» he shakes his head, bringing the fingers of the arm that’s wrapped around you in front of his face. They’re still wet with your juices, you expect him to lick them but what he does makes your breath stop and your pussy starts throbbing again. They stroke your lips and his eyes stay focused on his motions as he makes them glisten like a lipgloss, a cheeky smile taking over his features when he notices the way you’re looking at him.
«Wanna taste them from your lips» he murmurs. You let out a staggered breath, totally lost in him and the way he makes your mind go blank. Jungkook kisses you again, pecks your lips more than once, licks the bottom one to get every drop of your sweetness. You hate him for being like this because your pussy is soaked again and you don’t even know why the hell you find it so hot but it’s just- Jungkook. And fuck, he makes you weak. 
«I think I want to find out that thing» you breathe when he parts, his giggles resonate in the room as he cages you with his other arm too, stroking your stomach as you let your head fall on his shoulder. 
«Please?»
He taps his fingers on your navel, kissing your cheek.
«Aish, so cute,» he giggles happily «you’re exactly my type, you know that?»
«What does that even mean?» you laugh at his childish tone, shaking your head as you watch him munch on his lips.
«You have a type?»
«What? You! You’re-» he points his forefinger on your chest «you are»
«Why?» you coo teasingly, grabbing his finger in your hold and pushing his other arm down at your side. Jungkook watches you get up, turning around to look down at him. The view makes him gulp, his heart flutters at your beauty when you reach your hand out to him to make him stand. He takes it just for the sake of holding it, getting up on his own by pushing on the ball of his feet and his hand on the floor. When he towers over you his eyes are shining again and his bunny teeth on display as he beams brightly.
«Cause I love you,» he murmurs «you-» he snorts through his mouth, pushing the air out and making a nasal noise just like you would do when describing the sound of something exploding «ah, forget it»
You’re coming out of the shower, pushing the door open and he stands there totally entranced. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was probably just enjoying the view. But Jungkook is… totally lost. When you face him you know it well, that look in his eyes. 
«I want to know» you push your words, getting closer to where he stands but without going in again. 
«I don’t have a type, I guess» he scrunches his nose, it makes you want to laugh, totally meaningless «cause you’re- you are the type. Like- aish, what am I even saying?»
Your laughter fills up his ears and your arms wrap around his torso, you let your head fall on his chest. His fingers come to stroke your hair, eyes half lidded as he giggles in that sweet way that makes your stomach twist and turn.
«I’m the type» you laugh.
«Don’t make fun of me, it’s just- you know what I mean. It’s not about just one thing, it’s like- everything»
«Okay, baby,» you shake your head «now come out» 
You grab two towels each, wrapping yourself up and your hair too, Jungkook does the same with his towel but just rubs his hair with the other one. 
«Do you remember when we went to Disneyland?» he suddenly stops his motions, leaving the wet cloth on the sink as you wear your slippers. You nod at him through the reflection of the mirror, Jungkook clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth.
«Wanna go again»
«So suddenly?» you smile. 
He nods: «Can we go another time?»
«Next weekend?» you raise your eyebrows at him, thrilled by the thought. Jungkook’s mouth opens wide, stuck in place as he watches you point at his slippers. 
«What- next weekend?» he echoes, the shadow of a smile taking over his feature as he does as he’s told. You grab his hand and walk towards the door. 
«Hhm, we could? If you want to»
Disneyland sounds beautiful, indeed. You visited three years ago, spent three days laughing like two idiots and going on rollercoasters. You guess it couldn’t hurt at all to visit again. Jungkook feels drunk from the feeling already, having you all to himself for a weekend in a way that he never thought was possible years ago.
«Let’s go next weekend»
He stops in place, eyes wide and lips open.
«Really?»
«Why not?» you shrug.
«Are we getting the tickets now?»
«We’re really going?» he’s beaming so bright that the sun seems like a distant glow in comparison.
«Yes, we’re going. We could leave on Friday night?» you nod.
«Why- you’re sure? I was afraid to ask, I thought you’d say no» he’s totally surprised. Your hand pulls him as you start walking again towards his bedroom, Jungkook watches your eyebrows raise in question when you end your walk in front of his bed. 
«Why?» 
«I- thought you wouldn’t feel comfortable with it yet- since-»
«I told you,» you smile sweetly at him «I don’t want to restrain myself anymore. There’s no point in it, we know what we have, it’s not too soon cause I already-» you scoff, «I love you. And… I want to go» 
His expression makes your heart pound louder. Cheeks full, dark doe, big eyes glittery with thrill and love, pinkish lips open in a smile and bunny teeth showing, totally thrilled.
«Woah, this-» he bounces a little in place, totally excited «we need to get the tickets» 
«You wanna buy them now?» you giggle at his cuteness, pecking his cheek. Jungkook shakes his head, wraps his arms around you.
«Do you want to buy them now?» he gives you smooches on your forehead. You let one of your hands wrap around his neck and the other one lock around him, just under his shoulder your fingers tickle his skin as you look up at him.
«Later,» your hum has mischief in it «now I want what I asked for earlier» 
«What was it?» god, how he likes to tease you, and the way he licks his lips with a smirk that only makes you churn.
«You know what it was» you huff. Jungkook shakes his head slowly.
«Say it?» he breathes low against you.
«Wanna hear you ask for it» 
«Want you to fuck me,» you let all your inhibitions fall to the ground «rough and sweet at the same time»
«Fuck, get on the bed» his cock is already throbbing and twitching against the cloth, too hard and too weary to hold back from before and hearing your pleads just made it hungrier. 
«You make me lose it,» he watches you as you let your wet hair fall over your shoulders, the towel gets thrown on the floor and a second later you’re naked and sitting on the edge and his mind doesn’t function when you look at him like this «you want it rough? Want me to fuck you while a sweet talk you? Is that what you want?»
Shit, holy shit, yes. Totally. You can’t even answer him, too entranced by the view of him taking the fabric off and letting it fall on the ground, his eyes burning with fire and ready to devour you. 
«Lay down,» he wraps a hand around his shaft, pumping it a few times and making your pussy pulsate around nothing «slide back, get comfortable on the pillows»
You do as he says, body running only with the thrill in your veins. Your eyes lower back on his cock, red and hard, standing eager on his stomach it makes you salivate and wish to wrap your lips around it but Jungkook doesn’t have the same thought in mind. He knees on the bed, looks at your face.
«Open your legs,» he orders, tone firm «open your fucking legs» 
You don’t know if you’re ready for what’s to come. Your thighs open, feet digging into the soft mattress, his eyes ravenous. He licks his lips and strokes the head of his cock with his thumb, lets out a low groan; «That’s it»
You don’t even have time to realise what he’s doing, because a second later he’s already laying down and sucking on your clit and your eyes roll back in your head for how good it feels. The sound of him stroking his cock sends you spiralling, his soft mouth sucking and wrapping around your pearl sends every nerve on fire. 
«Fucking good pussy,» he breathes letting go of your clit, licking a strap over it «wanna make it squirt»
«Fuck, Jungkook» his words are pure sin, and your body wants it all.
«You like that? Like hearing that?» he kisses the bead so softly that you feel your breath getting stuck.
«I love her so much,» he sucks it again, hard and totally merciless «wanna make her cum so hard, baby. Want you to feel so good» his voice is muffled, he speaks when he lets go of you but doesn’t part enough for your clit not to perceive the brush of his lips as pleasure.
He lets go of his cock to push his finger inside you, filling you up and making you squirm on the bed. Jungkook clicks his tongue and kisses your clit again.
«Can she do that?» he arches his finger inside you, hitting your g-spot perfectly as he flicks his tongue over your clit. The pace is fast, it makes your pussy throb with sensitivity and your juices drip out of your hole, his knuckles are totally wet with them. Jungkook’s cock is throbbing, twitching in desperation, precum leaking out in need.
«Can you do that for me, love?» the last word makes your insides burn, his eyes travelling to your face just in time to see your lips open in a silent moan.
«Don’t- know» you let out, fisting the sheets. Jungkook blows on your clit and he feels your walls contract around his finger, so fucking soft and tight that he wants to bury his cock inside you and never come out. 
He pushes a second finger in, fucking inside you and watching your expression totally lost as he sucks your clit again, his lips tight around it. He moans on it, watches your thighs tremble at his sides and lets go again, consuming you and your mind, taking over totally. The way he clicks the underside of his tongue on your pearl makes you moan loud and he licks all the way down from it to your core, opens his lips as much as he can to take every part of you in his mouth, his teeth lightly brush against you and your hips raise involuntarily on the bed, pushing against his face. He moans on you, balls hard and cock oversensitive even with the smallest change of air, slurps at your juices as he sucks them through your entrance and lingers in the sweetness of them, so fucking saccharine and creamy. He wants you to explode, let go. 
«Never enough,» he licks back up from your pussy to your clit, flicking his tongue on the spot that makes you lose your mind, fingers pushing buttons inside of you that make your vision blurry «love you so much baby, push your pussy on my face» 
«Koo, I…»
«Push it all over me,» he growls on your clit, curls his fingers inside you «want your juices all over me, I love them so much»
You don’t hold yourself back anymore, do as he says. Your hips push up again, your hand goes to his hair and Jungkook sucks your clit again and again and again and you think you’re about to break cause it’s too fucking much. 
«Wanna make you cum» he moans as he dives as deep as he can into you, both with his fingers and with his tongue on your clit. The pressure added makes your head dig in the pillow, a breathy moan escaping your lips.
«Again and again, and again. Until you can’t take anymore cause it’s too much. Wanna fuck you and tell you how fucking much I love you and see you cum all over my fucking cock. Shit, you make me desperate»   
It’s sudden and it tears you apart and it stings a little but feels so fucking good that your body shakes and you don’t breathe anymore, because he bites your clit just enough and you can’t help it. You tremble and shiver, eyes shut and lips wide open, your hair wetting the pillow and your mind blank as the pleasure becomes too much and you let go. Jungkook licks your juices, slurps on them, dries your pussy of every drop, gulps them down as if it was the sweetest syrup in the world, his eyes on your face admiring how fucking beautiful you are when you cum, all for him and him only. His tongue on you feels so soft, his lips kiss and brush against every inch of your center and Jungkook can’t help but push the tip of his wet muscle inside you, making you shiver.
«Koo» you whine. He smiles against you, pushing it deeper and you writhe on the bed, too sensitive and overwhelmed. His fingers push on your hips, keeping you in place and against his lips.
«Is she sensitive?» he pecks your inner thigh, looking up at you. You nod out of breath, eyes locking with his.
«Wanna make you cum again,» he huffs «can she take it for me?»
«Jungkook, I- sensitive» you whine as he pecks your mound, lowering on your clit with a lick of his tongue on your skin. He blows on it, watching you squirm once more and whine.
«Poor baby» he kisses the pearl decadently.
«Oh, fuck» your hand fists his hair, tugging at the roots, Jungkook kisses it again, he opens his mouth slightly and lets the inner wet part of his lower lip add pressure as he slowly moves up to slide his lips on you. 
«You like it when I kiss your clit?» his hand travels up to your abdomen, it passes your hips and your tummy, fingers sprayed as he grasps your left breast and squeezes it slightly.
You nod at him, your pussy is pulsating and it’s so wet and sensitive that you can’t speak properly. He kisses it again, loud and sultry, again and again and again until you lose count and your walls are crumping up again, the pleasure too much to handle. 
«Look at me,» he coos tenderly «let me see your pretty face»
You open your eyes, look down at him from the pillow that it’s soaked with the water in your hair. Jungkook’s thumb strokes your nipple, slow and gentle it makes your leg open for him even more and he has to hold back from reaching down to stroke his cock again. 
«Can you cum again for me, baby? Wanna give you so much more,» he flicks his tongue over your clit, making you hiss «wanna fuck you so good, want you to feel me for the whole day tomorrow»
His words make your pussy clench around nothing and all you can do is let go and feel the pleasure build up, picturing his cock inside you and thrilled to have him fuck you in the same way he’s been doing with his lips. The thought is too alluring and when he kisses your clit again your mind goes blank and all you can feel it’s your pearl pulsating desperate and his slurpy kisses sending you in a haze. They’re endless, Jungkook kisses your pussy and your legs are trembling again, weary and too sensitive to last any longer. You moan silently, dig your head in the pillows, feel his lips all over you even as you cum again. His hand caresses your tummy, providing comfort as your body goes limp on the bed, lips pecking your inner thighs and your mound, your knees, your tummy, his hand locking around yours. The way you look, shit, it’s ethereal. He doesn’t think he ever witnessed such a beautiful masterpiece, you should be worshipped and represented in every frame, hung in museums, have buildings built with your name. There has to be somewhere, a distant, alternative universe maybe, where you’re a princess of a flourishing land or the goddess of the universe, there has to be. 
«I love you so much,» he’s helpless, eyes fixated on you «I wanna keep you in my pocket and cuddle you every night. Wanna shelter you from the world»
«Come here, please» you squeeze his hand,  Jungkook lays down on you without having you to ask twice. His cock is rock hard, poking at your tummy and leaking precum from the tip but he’s so fucking in love with you that all he can do is snuggle his face in the crook of your neck and wrap one of his arms around you, the other helping him up not to weight down on you.
«I think you broke me» you groan tired, eyes shut as you feel him giggle and hide more into you.
«You asked for it» he mumbles.
«I didn’t ask for three orgasms» you scoff at him, arms wrapping around him. His chest is firm against you, his back broad and your fingers can’t help but wander and caress it up and down, he shivers on top of you.
«You- you’re so annoying» he groans.
«Aish, here we go again,» you laugh at him, stroking his wet hair with your other hand
«thank you for making me cum three times» you kiss his neck. Jungkook smiles against you, he closes his eyes and takes in your sweet scent.
«That’s better,» he kisses your skin «was it too much? Maybe I shouldn’t ha-»
«I loved it,» you shake your head eagerly, slightly tugging at the strands to make him look at you «every single one of it»
He scrunches his nose, a bright beam taking over his face.
«I’m just teasing you,» you stroke his back «I love when you make me cum with your lips» it comes out low and almost like a whisper and he can see your cheeks reddening, but his heart flutters and all he wants to do is kiss you until the world explodes.
«Yeah?» he coos sweetly, hushed and airy. You nod, eyes lowering on his lips.
«Yes,» you smile «that thing you did- when you bit me…»
He licks his lips and boops his nose to yours. 
«Did it feel good?» he asks under his breath. The way he checks in with you every time makes you feel so cherished and it’s like he’s embracing you in a tight warm blanket, totally safe and cared for.
«A lot,» you nod «felt so good, love»
«I wanted to try that» his lips brush against yours when he speaks. You smile at him, pushing your face up just enough to make your lips lock together, his moan is sweet as your tongue enters his mouth. His fingers caress your hip, your shoulder, his hand cups your head as you lay back down and he lowers himself to keep contact, your soft petals and the way you give yourself to him makes his chest swell with happiness and vulnerability every time, how you smile against him, kiss him some more. His cock twitches and you giggle under his lips, Jungkook pecking your lower one with all the love he has inside him.
«Wanna make you cum» you whisper when he parts a little, lashes fluttering at the sound of your voice.
«Wanna cum inside you,» he lets out, hand cupping your cheek «but I can just-»
«I want you inside me,» you cut him off, already knowing where his brain is taking him «don’t care if I’m sensitive. Wanna feel you»
He munches on his lips, cheeks a little swollen as he mulls it over: «Are you sure?»
«I’m sure, Koo. Please, fuck me?» you huff looking up at him, his eyebrows raise at your unceremonious words. You peck his lips and lift your hips up knowing well that he’s still not sure about it. His cock jerks and Jungkook lets out a strangled moan, closing his eyes shut. 
«Fuck, can’t say no when you tease me like this» he breathes through his mouth. You grin, his eyes open to look straight down at you.
«Good, cause I’ve waited quite a while» you tease. He scoffs on your face, his hand moves away from your skin just so he can slap your thigh but it only makes you grin more.
«Open your legs» he smiles at your attitude, shaking his head slightly in disdain but his pupils are sparkling and he’s so cute right now that you want to kiss him dumb. However, you do as he says, your movements are quick and your pussy is still throbbing from your last orgasm. 
Jungkook parts just a little, he grabs the length of his cock and strokes it once or twice, it cuts your breath off just to look down at his motions; his big and slender hand, beautiful fingers, the girth of his cock and the precum leaking from its head, red and needy.
«I wanna try something sometime» you let out totally entranced, he guides his cock to your pussy, sliding it into your folds. The sensation makes him bite on his lips with his eyes squeezed shut, a needy whine escaping his lips. 
«Ngh- what?» he looks down at you.
«Gonna tell you when you’re inside me» you tease him, making him scoff. He lifts his hips slightly, takes his cock away from your lips. 
«You’re such a brat» his hand lays on you clit, slapping it just enough to make you moan out loud. Your eyes widen in shock, he grins and kisses your cheek and you don’t know if you should be dripping with arousal or dig a hole into the ground and giggle for his cuteness and the way he makes you heart flutter with just a loving peck. 
Jungkook lowers himself back again, he wraps his hand around his shaft to guide it back to where it was and slides it between your folds, it’s so wet that the underside of his cock is soaked with your juices and all he wants to do is feel them on his tongue again. Your clit is oversensitive and the weight of his cock on you only makes it worse, your hand is already gripping the sheets.
He slides his length up and down as he admires the way your eyelashes flutter and the red shade of your lips, your pretty nose, the shape of your eyes. He loves you so much, so freaking much it’s hard to handle it, it’s thought to even just breathe through it. 
«Love, look at me?» he coos. Just a word and you’re melting in a puddle, breath staggered. He’s so beautiful, so ethereal. He slides his cock down to your entrance, pokes at it with the head. 
«I love you» you whisper. Jungkook smiles, his cock pushes inside you and even though he halts his hips to get you used to the feeling your hands come down on his ass and you push him deeper, making him groan under his breath and close his eyes at the feeling. Tight, close, so fucking wet that his cock is already soaked, so soft. His lips are open, eyebrows furrowed and you don’t know if you want him to go rough on you anymore cause your arms are dying to feel him close and your heart is pounding and throbbing for his love and his affection. He’s so beautiful, so beautiful it tears you apart in the most saccharine way, you love him so much. 
«Say it back, please» you breathe. 
Jungkook lays his head on your chest, the movement is slow and his breath is staggered, he looks up at you. Some strands of his hair come in the way of his eyes, a drop of water dripping down from one of them and caressing his cheekbone as it travels down. Your eyes are sparkling, lost in a haze, lips open just slightly.
«I love you,» he kisses your clavicle «I’m- don’t even know if that’s enough cause- it doesn’t hold half of the meaning of what I feel for you» his nose brushes against your neck as he hovers over you.
«But I love you, so much. So freaking much, baby»
«Please, move» you breath low.
«Wanna feel you» 
«Like this?» he brings his hips back, his cock slides against your walls perfectly, it rubs over every nerve, and then he pushes back in, slow and maddening he stretches you out in the best way possible as your legs move around his hips to cage him into you, his low moan resonating in your ear. 
«Shit, yes» you nod. Jungkook kisses your neck, his hand reaches yours and locks around it, thumb caressing the back as he pulls back out just to hit your spot again. 
«You’re perfect,» he licks his lips looking down at you «so perfect. Tell me you’re mine»
«I’m yours,» the way he groans at your words makes your pussy clench around him and he throws his head down on your chest at the sensation «only yours, all yours»
«Fuck, say it again» he rests there with his hand pushing yours down on the bed as he moves inside you, his pace fastening.
«Yours, Jungkook. All- every part of me» you moan. He feels so good, so perfect. His cock makes you helpless, he makes you helpless. Just a look, a blink of his eyes and you would do the worst, the absolute worst for him even though you know that he would never ask. You can’t help it, you’re so fucking in love with him that you can’t see straight and the world finally makes sense cause he’s in it and all over you. 
«Fuck, yes,» he kisses your chest, hovers over your face again «want a whole life with you»
God, your heart is bursting. He makes you want to stay all day in his arms and only live by his warmth, look at the stars in the sky just to compare them to the ones sparkling in his dark eyes. 
«Please, yes» you whine as he hits your g-spot, eyes deep in his «want you every day, Kook. Wanna wake up to your face every fucking day»
«Yeah?» he’s losing his mind, and you can see it clearly. Trying to hold himself back, licking his lips as he stares down at yours and your eyes, fucking himself so deep into you that it’s driving him insane. The sounds that come from your wetness make your cheeks red, all the orgasms you had before and still you’re still hungry for more, for him.
«Yes» you nod eager. He moans out loud, you feel his cock throb inside you and leak precum that mixes with your juices. It’s absolute filth but it feels so intimate that it makes your head spin and your heart clench. 
«Can do that,» he kisses your lips «I absolutely can do that. Please don’t change your mind» he sounds like begging and you can’t help but wrap tighter around him.
«Not gonna» you huff. The moment he smiles at you, shit you know you can’t go back anymore. It feels so good, so sweet but so consuming and he’s yours, his smile is. The way his eyes sparkle when he looks at you, the sound of his breath too overwhelmed by you, his hand  squeezing yours, all yours. 
Jungkook can’t get used to this, he doesn’t think he ever could. Every time he makes love to you, every time you give yourself to him his body lights up, his soul grows a size more just to get as much of you as it can. Seeing you under him in his bed, with your hair wetting the sheets, your body naked for him, your vulnerability in his hands that promise to worship every inch of it and comfort it with everything he can, your cheeks red, lips swollen, eyes starry and almost shut for the pleasure he’s making you feel… he knows he will never get used to this. Not even in another life, at the last one of them all.
«Wish I could take a picture of you right now,» he fans over your lips «so pretty. So beautiful, I love it. Love you, love your pussy, love how you give yourself to me»
«Shit, feels so good» your hands cups his head, bringing him for a sloppy kiss, passionate and lost as his hips keep meeting yours. Jungkook doesn’t know how long he will be able to hold himself back, cause his cock is twitching and his balls are already tight. He was having a hard time even when he was making you cum, every time felt like a torture to his throbbing and heavy dick on his stomach.
«Shit, baby I’m sorry- I don’t know if I can give you what you want- nngh, it feels too good to have you like this» he whines in your ear, kisses your neck endlessly. His hand leaves yours to cup your breast, fingers sprayed and digging into your skin, your pussy clenching. The thought seems far away now, you can’t let go of having him like this, ruining you slowly.
«It’s okay, like this is perfect» you puff out a breath, Jungkook pushes a little harder inside you and suddenly your body is on the edge, eyes squeezed shut. 
«You’re going to cum?» he hides himself deeper into you, keeps hitting your spot faster but doesn’t dare to pull out cause seeing you like this sends his mind in a haze. For god’s sake, he’d spend all night long like this. Making you cum undone, over and over again until you soak his sheets with your juices and your lips are so swollen that they hurt. His cock rubs against you perfectly, hips moving faster and faster as his groans fill the room, he just pulls himself back enough to meet your spot again without losing it, giving your sensitive pussy what she’s been begging for by engulfing his length so deliciously.
«Gonna cum» you nod. Jungkook bites his lips, teeth digging into the red flash, pupils fixated on your face as you let out a moan.
«Love watching you cum,» his hand strokes your cheek «let go, love. Do it for me, baby»
Your mind goes blank once more, your lungs are on fire as you try to breathe properly but can’t, pussy pulsating desperately and extremely sensitive. He pecks your lips and shit, the gesture has your heart clenching and it makes you cry out loud because it’s too much freaking pleasure and sweetness and you just- it overwhelms you. Totally and wholly, your legs shake in spasms, you hear Jungkook swear and moan but it’s too far away and your ears are not working well, you can’t feel your body anymore, it’s like you don’t have control over it. Jungkook watches you entranced, he digs his head in the crook of your neck and stops his motions even though he was about to cum just to hold your shaking body and provide comfort with his hold, kisses every inch of skin he finds. Your breath in his ear is heavy, your eyes closed and lips apart, and he feels himself growing desperate, not to cum but to reassure you in the gentlest way possible and provide comfort to every part of you. He kisses your cheek more than a few times  loudly and silently, lays his forehead against yours and pecks the tip on your nose, snuggles against it with his, he keeps his arms wrapped around you and his cock still buried in your pulsating core.
«Fuck- Jungkook» you let out a low whine with your eyes closed. Jungkook giggles and lays a smooch on your cheek again.
«You- you don’t know how fucking sexy that was» you open your eyes, your vision is a little blurry.
«I- you made me cum so hard» you hug him back but feel him still rock hard inside you and filling you up totally.
«You… why did you stop? You didn’t cum»
He raises his eyebrows and pecks your temple. His thumb strokes your cheek: «Didn’t wanna overstimulate you more,» he squeezes you tighter «you squirted all over me»
«I- what?» your eyes widen as your lips hang down. Jungkook smiles and nods looking down at you.
«Did you ever do that?» he coos gentle, voice low almost like a whisper. 
You shake your head: «Never, are you sure I- really?»
He giggles at your tone, parts by pushing on his arms with his length still inside you. The whole expanse of his abdomen gets shown, muscles rippling and his brownish nipples standing, the v line that guide to his cock… wet.
«Oh, fuck,» you pull him down by pushing him from behind his back «I didn’t think I could do that. Shit, it’s so embarrassing but-»
«It was sexy as hell, baby,» he shakes his head to make your brain stop overthinking it «just to think about it makes- thinking that you felt so good that you couldn’t hold it back- ngh, makes me wanna make you do it again» 
«Don’t get used to it,» you huff on his lips, shaking your head but smiling shyly «it never happened» 
He pecks your lips.
«I promise I won’t,» he beams «how do you feel?»
The smile that takes over your features makes his heart throb. You couldn’t wrap your head around it if you knew how much he loves you. Asking you how you’re feeling after making you cum so hard when he’s still rock hard and needy inside you, just this makes your chest hurt.
«Good, baby. I feel good,» you bring your hand on his face to caress his cheek and travel your finger on his temple, they push a strand of hair away from his sight «wanna make you cum» you squeeze your walls around him even though you’re still pulsating and too sensitive. Jungkook whines at your ways, let’s his head fall into your neck again.
«Baby- don’t. Shit- feels so good. Don’t wanna- hurt you» he whimpers when you do it again, his eyes are shut and his cock is twitching but it’s caged in your tight hold and it makes him crazy.
«Please, wanna feel you cum,» you kiss the soft skin of his neck, warm and fair, leave your lips on it as you speak «please, love»
«Baby, for real I-» his voice trembles as he tries to restrain himself.
«Please,» you pout even though he can’t see you, you move your hand slowly down his back until you find his asscheek «cum for me? Want you to paint my pussy with your cum» 
God, he can’t think straight when you whisper filth like this in his ear and make it sound like the sweet prayer of an angel, honey coated.
You squeeze his asscheek slightly, push your hand down on his flash to make him sink deeper into you, your juices wet and soaking his balls. 
«Fuck, tell me if it hurts» he whines knowing well that you won’t give up. His arm pulls you to him more until your hard nipples are tight against his chest and his cock throbbing inside you. He pulls out slowly, driving himself crazy with the sounds of your pussy and how good you engulf him, dives deep inside you at the same pace. His cockhead is oversensitive, when it touches your walls it leaks so much precum that you bite your lips and Jungkook moans loud and breathy, tight to you. He open his lips on your skin, breathes in your sweet scent and kisses your flash endlessly as he pulls back his hips again just to push back inside slowly. 
«So wet,» he whimpers «so freaking wet, baby. Drives me insane» 
«Wanna see your face when you cum,» you tug at the roots of his hair a bit and Jungkook’s hand reaches yours as he raises his head to look at you, bringing it on the bed and interlocking his fingers «love when you cum for me»
He’s desperate, out of breath, whiny, high pitched as he fucks himself slowly into your heaven, so freaking juicy and wet that he’s afraid he’d slip out if his strokes were any longer or faster. The thought pushes him closer, having your pussy so wet for him and your arms all around him, your face looking at him as he hovers over you, features ethereal and full of love and admiration for his pleasure, whispers in his ear.
«Love you,» when you peck his nose he whines even more «love you so much. Can’t get enough of you»
«My- baby,» his breath is staggered «you’re- my baby»
Your hands make him crazy, they brush against his back and help him fuck himself into you by pushing on his ass, caress his hair, dig into the muscles of his shoulders, write stories on his skin that you didn’t live together yet. Jungkook feels overwhelmed, totally defeated. You bring him close to you, kiss him sloppy and dumb and make him the happiest man alive and suddenly, he’s whimpering and moaning and his movements come to an halt. 
«Fucking- fuck, shit» he cries into your mouth with his eyes closed and squeezed, eyebrows furrowed, voice not even able to speak properly. His cum bursts inside you, it paints your walls and fills you up totally, hot and wet it mixes with your juices and your pussy clenches around him at the feeling, a breathy whimper coming out of his lips. 
«Can’t- can’t take so much love» he crashes in the space between your head and your shoulder. His body is trembling and his cock throbs inside you. Your breath gets cut as you wrap him up in the best way that you can. You stroke his hair with your fingers, your legs cage him into you again, one of your arms keeps his chest close to yours, so tight that you feel his heart pound and your lips kiss every inch of skin that you manage to reach. 
Jungkook lays there with his mind blank and his heart bursting, hiding himself in his safe place in your neck and trying to steady his breath. 
«Did- did it hurt?» he gulps as he speaks, voice weary and frail. You kiss his earlobe, play with the strands of his hair.
«It didn’t,» you hum «don’t worry about it»
«I’m sorry baby, I- it was too much, couldn’t do what you wanted»
«Changed my mind when we started,» you chuckle as he turns his head, your side profile makes him want to caress your nose with his finger «we can do that another time»
He hums a little, a sweet kiss on your neck.
«I promise it’s gonna be good,» he nods «you make love to me so sweet. Tears me apart» his voice is a bit high pitched, but it comes out as a whisper, so vulnerable. 
You flash a smile, moving slightly under him. Jungkook takes a deep breath and pushes on his arms to kiss your lips and then look down between you. His cock is still inside you and he snuggles himself into your skin as he grabs the base of it, the sensitivity of his length makes him moan as he slides it out of you, drenched in both of your cum and his and still half hard. You pat the bed beside you, turn on your side as he lays down. 
«Closer,» you pout «closer baby»
He fights with the sheets making you giggle as he gets closer, until he lays his head down on the pillow just an inch away from you, body so close you feel the heat radiating from his skin as his arm comes around you and pushes you to him, chest tight. He brushes your back with his fingertips and you shiver when they stroke up your spine, slow and ticklish until they reach the back of your neck and he cups your cheek. 
«Do you want to go for real?» he asks low. You nod your head, a little smile on your lips.
«Wanna go,» you push a strand of humid hair out of his face «for real»
His smile makes your heart clench, that little nose scrunch that you love so much and his cheeks full, eyes full of stars.
«Aish, I’m so happy,» he stretches his leg over yours «we should get the tickets after we shower»
«Let’s do that,» you squeeze his cheek «let’s go shower?»
«Just a little,» he whines and pushes himself tighter against your body «let’s wait a little? Love cuddling after we make love» 
Shit, you can’t help it. You love him so much, he squeezes your heart in his hand every time he looks at you, when he talks with his tone sugar coated, frail and totally helpless and shows himself begging for your love with his eyes, so vulnerable that you just fill full. You want to make him happy. Want to see him smile, giggle and titter, laugh out loud until he has tears in his eyes, colour his world of the same pink shade he paints yours in. You want to make him breathe and feel the same feeling you have in your chest, cause it’s too much to bare on your own and it makes you lose your mind to see him drunk in it. You want to have in wholly, every day and fill your time with memories and experiences, learn as much as you can, the little secrets that he told you and the ones you don’t know yet, find out about his pet peeves when he’ll be older and have arguments just to make up and hug each other so tight that something inside you either breaks and he’ll have to kiss its wound or fixes. Hold him so tight that he can’t breathe, shower him with love and hug him tight when you both cry cause you love each other too much, kiss his insecurities away and give him a shielded place to hide himself in and to heal, cause you will always have your arms empty for him, whenever he needs a safe space you will be here, as you’ve always done with each other. You want him to remember this, and to sleep well, cause you will be here taking care of him just the same as he does with you.
«Love» he coos. You hum in question, a big beam on your face.
«You didn’t tell me»
«What?»
«What you wanted to try» he whispers, eyes big and full of curiosity. You scoff at him and shake your head.
«Next time, I’ll tell you» 
«I want to know,» he pouts «please, tell me?»
You sigh: «you’re still half hard, Koo»
«Don’t care, not in the mood for something freaky now, anyway» he mulls. You roll your eyes at him.
«Who told you it’s something freaky?» you slap his shoulder and Jungkook giggles.
«Then tell me,» he brushes his lips against yours «what is it?»
You cheeks colour of a red shade, his eyes look at them as he munches on his lips, his thumb caresses your cheek.
«Wanna watch while you touch yourself,» you whisper shyly «you don’t have to if-»
«Oh, shit-» he gulps down on his spit «could you do the same while I do that?»
Your eyes widen, you want to laugh for whatever is going on because you came four times and somehow your pussy is getting wet again, it’s ridiculous.
«I- if you want me to» you smile. Jungkook nods and nuzzles his face to you.
«Hell yes if I want that» he chirps. You chuckle at his excitement, hide your face into the pillow. His lips are so stretched that his cheeks hurt.
«Just, let’s take one step at a time,» he strokes your back «I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything. I want to do things right, in the right way for you» he goes to stroke your hair and you raise your face from the pillow.
«I don’t, I told you»
«I know,» he nods and kisses your lips softly, feather like «whenever you want to do anything, when it’s the right time for you, you know I’m always here» 
«I know,» your heart clenches «I love you»
He pushes his face closer to yours until he’s breathing over your lips and his brush on you as he speaks: «I love you too,» he smiles «loved you for so much, will love you always»
Tumblr media
You you can read the first part here: Closer: Too Close
Read more about Closer here: Closer
Taglist: @p-i-e-d-p-i-p-e-r, @kaitlynlovesbm, @bytheinaya, @jub-jub, @taolucha, @mianyas1998, @seoulrenebae-blog, @ppeachyttae, @gluk97, @jk97bam, @diorh0seokie, @gwsjungkookie, @moonlikemeh, @skzthinker, @jungkookieeee97, @eysloveskoosomuch, @sleepy-sae, @jjkw-7, @singularityjes, @spookybirstarfish, @vvicadiction, @kimchijeonjk, @suciedad-divina, @katarinamae
254 notes · View notes
nooks-cranny-mogai · 26 days
Text
Getting very tempted to make a list of pro-palestine blogs that think it's totally not horrifically disrespectful to post gore of the attack on Palestine. They legitimately do not care that it strips a person of their identity in life(often because they are unrecognizable), it indignifies them by using their corpse as shock value and it violates even basic respect of the dead to post their body without consent of the family or the individual. I may be only an arm chair psychologist and trying to learn how to properly handle grief but I'm sure your really fucking helping(/sar) the family when you post their loved ones corpse for all the Internet to fucking see and comment on.
Like imagen losing your kid in a horrific bombing and some white liberal half way across the world posts their dead body for everyone to see without remotely asking her family and they just say "omg my heart is with Palestine 😢 this poor little girl got her head torn off. I cry every night due to this massacre." And you just have to sit there and watch the comments fill with white tears and a few fuckers saying your daughter deserved it.
NGL I'd probably go fucking scorched earth if that happened to me and these fucking blogs do it daily then get mad at you when you point out:
it's disrespectful,
(" the world needs to see this mutilated corpse to understand how bad it is!!" they say as if the death toll isn't right fucking there and these bodies don't have a right to dignity in death. Palestinians are not only corpses in the minds of the fucking iof but also apparent you. They are people and that applies to their fucking corpses. No one wants to be known and remembered by a picture taken of them when they died in a violent, torturous and degrading death. Imagine if that was you, or your sibling or your mom or grandparent or uncle or shit, even your dog. You'd be pissed and upset and dehumanized. Palestinians already have their grief forced into the spotlight by this genocide, do not make them share these horrible moments with the world.)
it doesn't do shit for the movement,
(" it shows the Zionists and their sympathizers what their beliefs result in!" They say as if the Zionists don't want this and care. News flash they don't and the only people seeing this is your allies who are telling you it's disrespectful. Zionists do not care about the dead and the state of their bodies. They do not care about this massacre. They are racist fucks who want this. You arnt changing minds.)
Don't tag it,
("if I tag it people won't look at it! Don't look away!" Have you considered gore posting is exclusively used to shock people and some people don't need shocked. Not wanting to see a fucking corpse on Tumblr isn't "looking away from the conflict.". Looking away from the conflict is ignoring it, not talking about it, not sharing info. I don't need to see the dead body of a trans person to know trans people are dieing.)
It violates so many tos it isn't even funny.
(" Tumblr is silencing us! Why are you siding with Tumblr???" Though Tumblr is probably trying to censor this movement like most other places, your not getting reported or struck down because your posting about Palestine. It's because your posting litteral fucking gore. If this was allowed, idk how to tell you Tumblr would become a hellscape full of the most depraved shit. You do not get a special birthday boy pass to post gore because it's for a good cause. It's still fucking gore, it's fundamentally disrespectful and it's against tos for that reason. It's a good reason and if I have to play by tumblrs rules to get your disrespectful shit taken down, so be it.)
I'm not very strong opinioned about how people talk about certain social issues. There's a right way and a wrong way and some ways that ride the line. Gore posting is the wrong way, cut and dry. It invalidates your message and shows a lack of decorum for the dead. It's the basic principles.
Now I'm gonna talk directly to the people who posted gore from Palestine or any other horrific conflict world wide whose still not happy that I'm criticizing you. I'm gonna be nice here and I mean that:
I know it hurts. I know it's scary. I know thinking about it makes you angry and pisses you off and depresses you and makes you cry and have nightmares. I know that hurt and fear and anger at knowing something horrible is happening and there isn't much you can do about it. Posting dead bodies won't bring them back to life. Posting child corpses won't help your message get across. I know you desensitized to the violence but that's not the issue of your peers who tell you it's fucked up your posting dead bodies from a genocide. It's yours and it shows your basic respect is lost to your fear and you need to take a breather for a day and step off.
Everyone is exhausted. Everyone is scared and angry. You won't help us by upsetting other members of our movement with unnessesary and fundamentally disrespectful images of corpses. We know how bad it is, pictures just make people vomit and resent you. They don't change minds, they don't "show the reality" they don't even respect the living family of the dead. They do nothing. They are pointless. I know your tired of being gaslit and told this isn't happening and maybe you think those pictures prove it. They don't. The people who still think this isn't real and as bad as it is are going to look at that corpse and call it a lie, a prop. And now you've not only disrespected their body by posting it publicly for any ol creep and loved one of the dead to see, you've now made them a spectacle. A thing for them to point and laugh at and pick out "details that clearly show it's fake".
It helps nothing. It doesn't prove anything to those who don't believe it and it dosent show the truth of this genocide. All it shows is a dead person at the time their life was ended in a horrible and painful way and you have to sit with their body and the fact you've lost yourself so much in this you arnt shocked or surprised and that's concerning. You have to live with the fact people are going to spread their body far and wide across the Internet for any shock posters and necrophiles to disrespect. You put their body in that position when you could of stopped it, reported it and let them be known by a smiling picture in life of their family cropped from pictures the family holds dear. Now they are known as someone's favorite picture for numerous horrible and disrespectful reasons and you put them there. That's pretty shitty of you. Maybe get some therapy. Some help. Take a week break and take care of yourself.
And next time, when a mutual of yours thinks gore helps the movement, remind them the Internet is forever and although it's important we never forget this tragedy and we do everything we possibly can to stop it, this won't help anyone. Gore never does. Self harm for a righteous good never does. The same way you can't be held responsible for the things you think aka thought crime, the same you can't do good by thinking violent thoughts about iof soldiers or praying for Palestine. Hurting yourself won't help the movement and gore just hurts your friends. Think long and hard before you post that child's body and know to thousands, that's the only way they will ever see or know her, by her dead body. She deserves better. Her family deserves better. You know better. Do better.
18 notes · View notes
hongism · 1 year
Text
update;
tldr: all i’ll be writing on this blog moving forward is mists of celeste. if that’s all you want to know about the status of both me and this blog, then you can stop reading here! i won’t be offended or bothered if that’s all you want to know!
however if you’re interested in a more in-depth explanation as to why i came to this decision then you’re welcome to keep reading to understand where i’m at.
why am i doing this?
there are multiple layers to why i’m taking this step. first off this is not a goodbye, as much as i’m sure many people are expecting that with how often i’ve been absent from this blog this year alone. one, i made a promise to myself when i very first started this blog almost 4 years ago that i would deactivate once i reached a certain milestone. since then, i’ve chosen not to deactivate and i think i will always leave this blog up as an archive even when the day comes where i will not be here or be posting anything here. i also have hopes and goals to finish mists of celeste and i think i will hit that milestone before i finish the story (maybe not anymore but, that’s beside the point). 
two, with being so close to such a significant milestone, i think there are certain expectations i have regarding my fics and the success of those fics. frankly, almost 90% of my following came from when i started writing for a.tz/s.kz, not b.ts. so it isn’t a disconnect in what people followed me for because i haven’t been writing for b.ts for several years by now. but even so, my fics still don’t do well. the reblogs mostly come from me, the feedback mostly comes from people who read from me regularly or mutuals, and the ratio of likes to reblogs is a never-ending issue that is never going to change. i’m grateful for anyone who stops to read and leave feedback on my works, and i am especially grateful to anyone who stops to read and leave feedback on my works that are not mists of celeste. and now with tumblr mucking up the tag system and preventing my works from being shown in the tags even when i do everything recommended, my works are going out to an even smaller audience that is not even 1% of my follower count. even with atinyblr being slow these days, i see other writers doing well and getting 500-1000+ notes with apparent ease compared to what i see on my own works. 
the shift in interest in the community has also affected me a lot. people are less likely to read a 10k+ fic that has plot mixed in with smut compared to a 1-2k pwp smut fic, which is fine. but that isn’t what i enjoy writing. and i understand that over time, i have lost the audience i used to have when it comes to writing that stuff. even for moc, barely anyone on the taglist i run with every update reads the updates. it’s an upsetting reality for me as the writer because i see my follower count go up and up yet my interaction and notes go down and down. which is primarily why i don’t like being here anymore to be frank. i have my friends from here but i talk to them off tumblr so i don’t feel a need or a compulsion to be here to talk to friends. i know that whatever i post won’t be received the way i wish for it to be received. and i now have this lingering fear that anytime i post anything at all tumblr will decide it shouldn’t show in tags at all.
and three, people are still dragging up things that happened in the past that i have tried so hard to move away from and want nothing to do with anymore. and belatedly, as much as i changed my url at the time, i realize that i won’t ever be able to fully distance myself from being involved in that in the past as long as i am calypso, hongism. i really hate that because i’ve had to come to terms with a lot of the bad things i suffered here on this website and in my real life relationships that were public here on tumblr, but i will always be known for my association with those things in a negative light.
what about your other series?
i won’t be writing them anymore! i appreciate all the love and affection given to them but frankly after blood masquerade i came to the realization that even if there are a lot of people interested in an idea, they aren’t all going to be interested in the final product. the ratio of votes to even likes on the fic itself was so grossly skewed that i found myself both baffled and discouraged to even continue writing it. aka; why am i putting so much heart and soul into something and not seeing an outcome that is balanced or fair? it wasn’t even an insignificant difference but rather something close to a 50+ difference in notes and votes.
will you ever change your mind?
maybe? maybe not? probably not. at some point in the distant future i might find myself wanting to go back to ideas that i had, like the wooyoung and san series i had planned for october this year but right now i have such a dismal and bad relationship with this blog in general that i don’t even want to think about posting anything here.
and one more note regarding moc:
i think i’m done writing interims. there has always been a disconnect in the readers of the main chapters versus readers of the interims, and i’ve always known that would be the case, but it is greatly disheartening as the writer to see such a divide on the work that i put my heart and soul into. so for now moving forward i just want to do main chapters and nothing else unless i feel so in love with an idea that i just have to put it out there.
overall i understand that this post as a whole is very moody and emotional and negative but i hope you all understand that this has been something i’ve been struggling with for the better part of a year here on this blog. i feel a disconnect and i feel no way to grab the ropes and tie myself back here the way i used to be here. even looking at other writers who have come up into the scene on atinyblr, i feel very lacking as a writer and i also feel a disconnect from them because i’m a writer who has been around here since 2020. it’s dumb to say that i feel ostracized in any sort of way but i do feel a bit distant, and i understand that in my attempts to curate a corner for myself on the internet, i created a very specific niche for myself in mists of celeste. i have always said that that is my magnum opus, and i still believe that to be the case. and at risk of sounding horribly arrogant, i feel i’ve isolated myself on an island that is mists of celeste and any time i try to broaden my horizons to do something outside of moc, it’s destined to fail. so for the sake of my mental well-being i need to step back and dedicate hongism to mists of celeste so that i can curb any expectations i might have had about other projects i wanted to do. 
so no, it’s not a goodbye, just a note that i’m slowing down and that the only thing i’ll be presenting to you all here on hongism moving forward is mists of celeste. it’s something that’s said a lot but it’s not something that i admitted myself until recently, but having come back multiple times this year with this mentality of ‘if i just push myself through this then it’ll be fine’, i now realize that if i don’t care for myself then how can i expect anyone else to care about me either? and i think i need to do this to care for myself and have a better mentality about my presence here.
117 notes · View notes
Text
—INTRODUCTION—
Quackity grumbles to himself as he powers on his laptop, taking a sip of his coffee. He immediately scrunches his face up and nearly spits it out; it's cold, having sat on his desk since 7:30 AM sharp. Ignoring his own despair at his lack of a drink, he opens up his web browser and types in some key words. He's been looking for a social media website to flaunt Las Nevadas, mainly because a certain person said that Las Nevadas is pathetic since there aren't as many members as L'Manburg. Quackity isn't insecure, only practical, you see.
He hums approvingly at the familiar name of 'Tumblr,' a site he's pretty sure he made an account on during Manburg to secretly hate on Schlatt. He shoves the bitter memory away and ignores the activity notifications from his old blog, instead making a new one. This blog is 100% for business. Only business. No tomfoolery in sight. Nope. Not Quackity.
Quackity finally makes his account, posting a few fancy-looking pictures of Las Nevadas, mainly ones showing tourists attractions and such. There are also some ones with his staff like Slime or Foolish, the president making identical sharp-toothed grins to the camera. He has only followed Slime, and hasn't even posted many interesting pictures before he gets a new follower and all his posts are liked by the same person. Your-body-my-temple-baby, apparently, and Quackity scoffs and shuts off his computer.
Tumblr media
✦ ||This blog will be a roleplay blog for Quackity from the DSMP, the exact timeframe as which this takes place is debatable and mostly up to the reader, but sets between Wilbur's revival and his disappearance to Utah. The author may include bits of Manburg Quackity and there may be another blog made for Pumpkin Duo.
✦ ||The author will be roleplaying as Quackity and will stay in character for the most part.
✦ ||The reader can also roleplay as another character if they would like, whether in the DSMP or another story is up to the reader.
✦ ||The author will not respond to anything outside of character unless: taking a break, making changes to roleplay or character(s), or noting something very important.
✦ ||This blog may discuss: past abuse, unhealthy relationships, Stockholm Syndrome, codependency, smoking, self-harm, attempted suicide, self-loathing, cannibalism, murder, and torture. The author will try to remember to tag all of these if they appear in the posts, but feel free to remind the author if he forgets. If the reader is uncomfortable with any of these topics, they can skip past or leave the blog, whatever makes them comfortable.
✦ ||If the reader has a question or comment about the post itself [ex. misspell, wrong pronouns, question about content] then ask the author.
✦ ||There is no defined upload schedule, though there will be posts at least once a week. Requests or questions are welcome and encouraged!
✦ ||Lastly, this should not be taken as canon. This is a blog a silly person made about a sad block man. Have fun!
✦ ||As you can probably tell, this account is affiliated with @your-body-my-temple-baby. He edits these posts, so the writing style may be similar, but not identical. These accounts are not run by the same people.
✦ ||This account is also connected to @poured-my-past-down-the-drain, which is a Tommy blog. Super cool.
Tumblr media
✦ ||Names for character: Alexis Quackity Nevadas, Quackity, Alex, President, Big Q, Q.
✦ ||Family for character: George [older brother], Tubbo [son], Ranboo [child-in-law], Michael [grandson]
✦ ||Pronouns for character: He/Him.
✦ ||Relationships for character: The reader can decide any relationship [platonic or romantic] in the roleplay, as long as it doesn't directly conflict what the author writes. The author will try to accommodate most relationships, but favors romantic TNT Duo, past platonic Feral Boys, past romantic Pumpkin Duo, platonic Dap Duo, platonic calamity duo, and platonic Las Nevadas crew.
(Edited on March 17th 2024)
(Last post on March 21st, 2024)
7 notes · View notes
kindofapieceofshit · 7 months
Note
Why are you saying evil Miles is hot in my tags when he's a child and you're my age 😐
i mean. he's a cartoon. he's drawn very attractively. he isnt drawn childishly. if he were a real person i wouldnt say anything at all? but like. this drawing of a pretend person that doesnt look childish was indeed hot. it feels stupidly unnecessary to say, but i would NOT like to fuck an underage evil miles morales. first of all, evil miles morales doesnt exist. secondly, i dont want to fuck him because i'm not interested in fucking a child. i simply acknowledge that the fictional portrayal of him is hot?
anyway when we pretend that imaginary people cant be attractive because theyre teens, i feel like we toe the line into thought policing. i was a teen 7 years ago, and i was a HELLA late bloomer in a ton of ways because of high control religion. so for me, it feels like i'm not so far removed from my own teenage years. noticing hotness in evil miles feels like a teenage me noticing the hotness of any fictional character. when toy story 3 came out i thought ANDY was hot. and i was 13. andy would have been 18 in that movie. which feels way more problematic to me. but again, andy doesnt exist. he's a drawing. he isnt real. so like, idk i feel like fictional, pretend, non-real, animated crushes dont need to be taken seriously. teenage me woulda had a huge crush on evil miles.
perhaps i should change my evaluation of this fictional animation: IF I WERE UNDER THE AGE OF 18, i would find evil miles hot as fuck. after that, i pretend i cannot see him 🙈 which is extra easy because he isnt real.
i mean, if this is the thing that gets me flack on tumblr, i'll take it. some of these people read or write smutty high school AU's, or we read books containing underage sex, or nearly all of us have watched at least one mainstream tv show or movie portraying sex between teenagers, and plenty of us were once attracted to fictional pictures and drawings of people back when we were teens, which apparently is outlawed after your 18th birthday. all of those things have their high and low points, or discourse to work out based on each instance. but i tend to stay in my lane for those types of things. if i dont like what someone has to say or what they add to a post, i block them.
this is truly not a response that is meant to cause or exacerbate any drama or conflict. i just figured i would give you an honest answer and let you choose what you do next. i mean, im okay with us unfollowing each other or you can block me if thats what you'd prefer. i dont even know if we do follow each other to begin with. or we can just move on with our lives from here. no worries, however you you want it to go ☺️👍🏼 thanks for the ask!
17 notes · View notes
Note
what are the fics you’d consider required reading (as you said in the tags of another post) ? any fandom i’d say for required reading or if there’s too much, for warrior nun ?
*heavy sigh* I had this post 90% complete when the power went out at my house and I had to rewrite the whole thing.
I'm gonna give you a scattershot approach, one fic for a few different fandoms, different types of fic, and hopefully something resonates.
🦗 (Recommend any fic, wild card!)
Avengers/MCU - The Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail series by owlet (tumblr?)
Set immediately at the end of CA:TWS, Bucky's scrambled brain does a hard reset and decides his new mission is to protect Steve, covertly. Meanwhile, he kinda gets adopted by the senior citizens that live in the shitty apartment building he's crashing in while he learns how to be person again. It's snarky AF, touching, funny, great action, fluffy domestic Avengers Tower stuff. There's some Stucky eventually, but it's not the primary focus and doesn't really show up until like the 5th story in the series. There are 7 stories, and a Q&A with the author.
OUaT - The Secret's in the Telling by @the-pyrophoric-one
Emma is being pranked by a thief while living in the mansion with Regina and Henry, and there's also magic fuckery afoot. This story is just neat. It's tightly-plotted and funny. I can't actually say too much because the whole point is that there's a mystery to solve and I'd hate to spoil it. Even when I had kinda figured out what was going on, I still had no idea how it would end. It's told from two different POVs, so it's fun to reread the first part once you know the ending. Apparently there's also a sequel, but I don't believe I've read it yet.
R&I - Calamity Jane Meets Dr. Isles, Medicine Woman by @jobethdalloway
Rizzles 1800s western AU. Maura is a fancy lady from Boston who moves west to live with her fiancé Garrett Fairfield, Jane wears pants, drinks whiskey, and roams the countryside as Jake Wyatt, an outlaw who's hunting for Charles Hoyt, the man who killed her parents. The immersion in this AU is stunning, the characters feel true to the originals while allowing for how things would change given the time and circumstances, and the buildup from their unconventional meeting to friends to more is a lovely and authentic slow burn. There's also a completed sequel, but it's still on my to-read list.
The 100 - Lightning Only Strikes Once by fiona_249 (tumblr?)
Lexa gets shot and dies, Clarke climbs to the roof of the building, gets hit by weird lightning, then suddenly she's back on The Ark, about to be sent down to Earth with 99 other teen prisoners, and no one remembers the events of the past year besides her. The ultimate fix-it fic. How do you fix your mistakes while still trying to keep the good things that happened? Balancing future knowledge with ripple effects, how much can you change before you don't know what's going to happen anymore? What do you do with a second chance? I think I've read this fic at least half a dozen times.
Warrior Nun - What If I Told You I'm a Mastermind? by @sapphicstacks
Avatrice actress AU. Ava is an unknown actress working as a bartender, Bea is a famous but reclusive actress making a comeback after several years away from the spotlight, and they get cast together in a sapphic love story. You ever read a story and go "JFC, will you two just talk to each other?" Yeah, the reason is because all of the healthy communication got requisitioned for this fic. It's incredibly wholesome and overwhelmingly romantic and also ridiculously hot. Like, prep a cold shower or make sure you're somewhere private when you read it. There's a regularly-updated WiP sequel.
19 notes · View notes
sonicenvy · 7 months
Text
So I was poking around through my followers list and I noticed that there are a few of you who have no title, no profile picture, no custom site and no bio who do have enough likes to make me think you might be a real person and not a bot. If you are indeed a real person, please read this post.
If I click on you and your blog looks like this:
Tumblr media
you look like a bot, yes even if you have a substantial amount of likes.
It is very easy to make yourself look human, and because I'm feeling helpful and chatty today, I'm going to show you how to do that, with screenshots. I even went on this site in safari where I don't have dashboardunfucker set up to take these screenshots, so you know I'm feeling good today.
Step 1:
In your sidebar go to "account" highlighted in blue below:
Tumblr media
Step 2:
Select your blog in the drop down. (There are a bunch of blogs on mine because I have multiple junk side blogs.) For the purpose of this exercise I made a brand new blank one called imtotallyabot56789.
Tumblr media
Step 3:
Go to "blog settings" in the right hand sidebar. This will take you to a new page.
Tumblr media
Step 4:
On that new page, select "edit appearance".
Tumblr media
Step 5:
Get to editing! I've highlighted for you the 4 most important things you need to change to not be a bot.
Tumblr media
Those things are:
your icon
your header
your title & bio
you banner/bio colors
Some notes:
Your banner can be a .gif, a .png or a .jpg. It is best at a 16:9 ratio. I can't remember how big mine was, but a little bit bigger is better so that it displays decently on desktop and on mobile.
Your icon/profile picture should be a square. I think it displays at 128x128, but I don't know for sure. Use a bigger image than that though. Mine is apparently 886x886 at 72 ppi. Don't pick a photo of yourself unless there's something interesting about it (ie: you're in cosplay or something) because a regularass photo of a person looks like a bot as well. If you don't know what to pick, you can head over to picrew and use an icon generator there to create an icon. There are a lot of fun options. If you want to design your own and don't have photoshop or something like that, check out photopea which is an in browser photoshop clone. Have fun with this -- pick a character you like or a pretty image. Like whatever you want just don't stick with the default one. Use either a jpg or a png.
Your title doesn't have to be that deep. Or descriptive. A lot of people use lines from books, music, poetry, tv or movies for theirs. Mine is related to Elizabeth Warren ("Nevertheless She Persisted"). I've previously used "Death Cannot Stop True Love" and "This could be a little more sonic"
Your bio also doesn't have to be long or, like describe anything super detailed about you. The beauty of tumblr dot hell is that it is one of the more anonymous social media sites out on the internet. You could literally just put something like "Fandom Lurker". Just have something.
The banner/bio colors just change the color of the border around your header image/icon "background" and the accent color.
Step 6:
Some additional basic (optional) things to do:
Enable "Custom Theme". This gives you an actual website rather than the dumb little tumblr dot com/blog/yourblognamehere thing that you get by default. The advantages to having an actual yourblognamehere dot tumblr dot com website are numerous. I made a whole post about that with instructions on how to do that. (note that the screenshots in that post were made before the tumblr layout change that was tumblr staff copying twitter's homework). A big benefit to having your own site is that it is easier to find tagged posts on a site because the default search that tumblr has on the /blog/yourblognamehere thing is hot flaming garbage and pulls posts that don't have that tag whilst also missing ones that do. with a yourblognamehere dot tumblr dot com site you can simply go to yourblognamehere(dot)tumblr(dot)com/tagged/mycooltag and see all the tagged posts. Dooo this. you know you want to doooo this.
Tumblr media
2. Open your ask box and turn off tumblr affiliate links. Asks can be fun. They can also be terrible. You can always turn them off later if you decide that people are being mean to you. Personally I have not had that problem in the 12 years I've been here. Maybe it's just the relative obscurity of this blog? who knows. glad for that though.
Tumblr media
3. Add some featured tags.
Tumblr media
This is a newer setting but I think it's fun. If you make posts (or reblog lots of posts) you can add a few tags that you use very often to this as little shortcuts for people visiting your blog.
Whew! That's all for today folks! Thanks for coming to my tumblr how to for newbies talk. I'll probably post another tumblr for newbies chat at some point.
with love and light,
💚 your local internet crazy lady slash tumblr oldtimer
Be kind to yourself and someone else today!
12 notes · View notes
veliseraptor · 7 months
Text
fic stats game
rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.
tagged by @curiosity-killed and what do I love if not numbers about things, apparently
Fic with the most hits: usurprisingly - I didn't even have to look to know this - Life in Reverse for the mcu, with 354,721 hits, almost 4 times as many as the runner up. no fic I write will probably ever top that one, for better or worse.
Second most kudos: I had a guess for this one and it was correct! With Absolute Splendor is my runner up for pretty much any stat as far as my fanfiction goes, after Life in Reverse. I don't hate that as a thing.
Third most comments: actually to my surprise it's With Absolute Splendor again, because Steve Rogers' Halfway House for Notorious Supervillains had it beat out for second place, which actually makes sense considering that one is multichapter so people can comment more than once (can't kudos more than once). kinda disappointed at this one for showing up twice only because it makes the meme less interesting for me personally.
Fourth most bookmarks: half a league onward for the mcu again, aka my "wish fulfillment infinity war written entirely from a post by @proantagonista" fic. I feel a little bad about how popular it is considering the arc of the whole fic is basically me fleshing out someone else's tumblr post, but oh well.
Fifth most words: mcu again: we're not friends, we're strangers with memories with 70,481 words, which is a fic I'm kind of scared to reread even if I know I still like the concept and especially the ending. I thought this might be a longer fic but turns out I only ("only") have three fics clocking in over 100k. thought it was more than that.
Fewest words: leaving this one for my Lise pseud only because I am not looking back at decade-old short fic for this meme, even if it is still technically there for people to read. other than the one that apparently glitched to say it doesn't have any words, the shortest fic is and as the stars arise, a Supernatural fic, for a change, at 173 words. it's S5 angst. I wrote a lot of that.
tagging @jaggedcliffs, @mikkeneko, @lu-sn, @brawlites, and anybody with more than five fics to their name who would like to go for it
14 notes · View notes
drawnaghht · 10 months
Text
tag guide anyone? + differentiating between usagis (thinkpiece)
I'm really just curious now if something like a "tagging guide" would help? If you would like this, or know if anyone else has posted something like this, sound off in the comments or like/reblog to agree ^^ 
I posted a poll about this on twt and it looks like 13 so far really want one, so I’m putting a lil test post around here too. I also found while researching for this post that apparently on tumblr, the first 20 tags show up in search! so I guess they changed that from 5 to 20 at some point. huh. that’s a bit more helpful than just 5 tags!
I’ve noticed sometimes people have no idea what to tag with a show like Usagi Chronicles that is less than 2 years old and is based on existing IP, but also that ppl use a lot of tags in general, perhaps confused about what is the “main tag” or most used tag for a character in rottmnt for example. So I started writing a little tag guide, which I’ll post the draft of at the bottom this thinkpiece. The main issue around tumblr seems to be excessive mis-tagging or multi-tagging i.e when a character isn’t there. I think I’ve seen this in some other fandoms too (primarily bigger fandmos), but I’m not gonna get too deep into it. You can skip to “tagging guide” via CTRL+F to search it on the page. I’ve also included a little character “separator” part with graphics, cuz it seems some are having trouble seeing the characters differently from fanart alone. I thought it would help to post more of the “source” materials ^^
Also if you have problems differentiating between the two in general…aside from both being white long-eared rabbits they are almost as different as night and day, at least on the surface ^^;; Here is a helpful post by Freakova, about how to tell the difference between Miyamoto Usagi and Yuichi Usagi, ancestor and descendant respectively: 
https://freakova.tumblr.com/post/707461151549702144/i-made-this-for-my-besties-to-help-explain-the
But I kinda get it! Especially if characters are intentionally obfuscated a bit (e.g. there are characters in the show who can’t tell between Miyamoto and Yuichi Usagi, but it is mostly used as plot hook/humor). But they have different names and characteristics and slightly differing fanbases on a site like tumblr, so separating them in tags is helpful. I think part of it also comes from the name confusion, but I already wrote a post about that. Imo, if you have your own design already and it looks like neither of the two characters, you can just use “Rise Usagi” or “rottmnt Usagi” or other variations as tags, those are popular and used enough already that you don’t need to use the main character tags ^^
Personally, I would only like to see Yuichi Usagi in his own tags when it applies (he’s in the pic/fic), but if he’s not, well, what are you doing tagging him there?
I also get that some newer/younger TMNT fans apparently didn’t know the Usagi characters are from their own franchise for a short while last year (but ppl probably learned, right? I’ve literally only seen posts/tweets asking what the series is abt and unrelated posts exasperated that ppl don’t know) but visually they’re quite distinct, even if they are all white rabbits. I’ll post these comparisons just so I can use the tags properly and not piss off anyone else.
We have the original Usagi and his 1000-years later descendant.
Tumblr media
Stan Sakai based Miyamoto Usagi largely on his childhood inspiration of samurai films, mainly “Samurai Trilogy” starring Mifune Toshiro playing Miyamoto Musashi, a real-life samurai who inspired many other films and adaptations. You can hear more about how Stan created Usagi here in this Portland Art Museum video where he explains and draws his Usagi. The story usually goes that he drew a rabbit with a chonmage (the edo-period top-knot) and suddenly, Usagi was born.
In the show he has a slightly older-looking design? but in the comics his look varies slightly because the series has been going for 40 years and the character has developed over the pages. so he can look slightly different cover to cover, page to page, but mostly it’s all him, the same character, just different situations, life periods and emotions. So he can look different in official material depending which publication period you start reading from, but mostly the same. 
Tumblr media
Then we have both the Miyamoto Usagi’s in different animated mediums,
Tumblr media
And Yuichi in different media (show itself in 3D and 2D and merch by Stan)
Tumblr media
And then there’s also Jotaro (very important Usagi Yojimbo character introduced early on/vol 1) and Yamamoto Yukichi(introduced in later stories/vol 4), who I think people aren’t mixing up with any of the previous rabbits yet, but who knows, i don’t look through absolutely all the tags myself after all and tumblr seems to have a problem of not showing much older posts in the public tag search anymore, so I can’t find older posts I used to see anymore ^^;
Tumblr media
More thoughts on tagging + being a fan under cut. 
This … is not really a vent or analysis post, I can't get that upset about it myself. with real life worries etc - fandom is supposed to be a fun outlet for creativity, at least for me. So I try not to feel anything about it. But tagging has always seemed fairly straight-forward to me and it’s mostly to organize a blog/find other people with similar interests. Writing non-structured non-essays is basically how I interact with a piece of media when I feel like fanart is not enough. And because tumblr posts now apparently Do Not HAve Limits, this is a better alternative to tag rambles.
-------------------
So when I saw the post about the Miyamoto Usagi tag I remembered that this was why I didn’t use the “follow tag” feature + the “your tags” tab as much myself (aside from not having it before and not being used to it on tumblr). Because usually with bigger fandoms, people do mis-tag or tag their other shows/fandoms into it without including the main character, this happens on occasion because there are a lot of people using the tag. I also don’t follow the Leosagi tag anymore for the same reason, that people can’t seem to differentiate between the characters and it becomes hard to tell what they want to post or which character they are talking about/drawing ^^;
As pointed out by Tamalinvonpineapple's post about it, people mis-tag Yuichi Usagi and Miyamoto Usagi and that’s a problem for people who would like to see just one of those characters but not mis-tagged as the other. I’m not gonna assume these are made in bad faith e.g. intentionally to piss off other fans, cuz there can be so many different reasons for people doing this. This post is also not gonna get into ship tags much because that is a contentious topic and tbh, left for a separate thinkpiece (I also already wrote smth abt tags for myself).
I tried to find out more possible reasons for mistagging in general or what the general consensus on tumblr is about tagging but it seems (or we can assume) it is a “bad practice” from how social media sites have given a slightly different use for tags tiktok/instagram/twitter - “tag for reach” - so like those social media accounts for companies that spam other tags. I do see this in anime/manga fandoms occasionally. Not just for the different spellings of characters (e.g, when a dub would give the character a new name; japanese vs western way of writing names) but specifically when 1 character is the only one there and the tags then have 30 other characters listed as well so the post/media would show up in search. But I wonder where this habit is from? Aren’t people curious to see what other tags their character/show have? I remember that on sites like blogger, we only tagged so that we could find things later, so people often made their own custom tags, i.e. "my work on the show" or "midnight doodlies". if a show got tagged, for example TMNT or Usagi, it would probably get 1-word/1-phrase tag (i.e. “turtles” “turtlies” “mutant turtles”) or just the series title tag - either the abbreviation or full name of a series/comic/cartoon depending on content. When it comes to tumblr tags, I remember getting annoyed at NOTPs permeating the tags as well. Or just posts about other seriesM multi-crossovers where your blorbo is only there to die, but then is still tagged after that; edits that have no relation to the character but they share a name or tag for whatever reason and you keep seeing these unrelated posts in the tags. I’ve seen more than enough from almost any of the fandom tags I’ve visited on tumblr. So I get how annoying mistagging itself can be.
But basically in regards to tags on tumblr itself, it seems people misuse them mainly because they don't know or don't like the tags for the other shows. Folks also like to see their posts get to as many people as possible, which I understand, I do the same on instagram, cuz that’s what I’ve learned by other artists example. Seems to make sense that more tags = more views. On tumblr, this sort of doesn’t always work this way. I could post a drawing from a popular cartoon and get maybe 5 notes total in 12 years, while a scribble I deemed too ugly to tag properly might get 54 notes on it’s first day. It’s almost like a Murphy’s Law of Tumblr that what you expect to do well, doesn’t. It’s just how it is here and I’m so used to it, it feels weird to complain about it, even on other sites with actual algorhitms and working apps etc.
Well, as a fan of the Usagi Chronicles show, perhaps what makes me more sad is that this has had the adverse effect of older TMNT/Usagi Yojimbo fans being so angry that they can’t stand the show/character itself now, even if they already disliked it before seeing other fans post about it. Which is just plain sad because some people even make up stuff about it just to discredit it as a show that Stan Sakai worked on. I understand that people have different reasons to dislike the show, most probably valid, but they also assume many things about it, to the point of stating them as fact when the opposite is true. I have… a different post about it. In general, we can say that being online seems to be the common thread between fans annoyed at fans.
In some ways, what’s even sadder however is an empty or unactive tag. Imagine that the last post you saw in that tag is still the one from 2013 you made yourself. It’s a bit annoying seeing people mistag or post unrelated fanart in it but hey, maybe this means they also read the tag? A chance to educate or get more views on your own fandom? Just a chance for communication? I know that doesn’t seem very appealing when those same fans are the ones mis-using the tag, but it just seems better than something completely empty. Of course, this is not a problem for TMNT fandoms perhaps, but from my experience in smaller fandoms, or being a fan of smaller/less popular media. And with how much there is mainly ship-related posts in almost all the Usagi Chronicles tags, this seems to be a matching experience I’ve been having so far in the Usagi tags. The comic series tag itself is also often full of other things, or only ship things, or sometimes only TMNT things for a short bit, but overall, I guess at least people use it?? But I would still like it that Samurai Rabbit, SRTUC, etc stuff gets tagged with those tags so I can actually find it instead of combing through multiple tags at a time just to see something new. While the newer “Your tags” feature on tumblr makes this a bit easier, I can see the easy annoyance at when people tag a character but then don’t include the character. and to add insult to injury, they tag a different character, but without acknowleding the first character at all.
But this is now like a joint fandom for a crossover for two franchises which have had crossovers before and now… there’s sort of a joint fandom? Sort of? So because it’s a bit bigger, it feels nice when other fans are considerate of small things like tagging. Now, on the whole, while many do still mistag and the leosagi tag is still mainly yuichi x leo for many, I’ve also seen in my own tagscrambles that not as many do this as much anymore, or going through a tag in time, the newer stuff seems to do this less. So like I’ve written in previous posts, my honest hope is just that fandom will adapt and grow into healthier online habits. Still, there are a few other things in the tags that I just can’t help but notice each time. it’s also why I don’t bother too much with repeat-viewing tags unless I’m looking for something specific.
It often feels like people just make up their own versions of any Usagi and/or write off the show as “too bad to watch”. And. idk, this just makes me feel sad about it because as mentioned above, I’ve seen it before in other smaller fandoms I’m in. In transformative works, it’s fairly normal that people make their own versions of a show or it’s characters, because that’s something fun to do with fanart and fic. But to openly hate a character? idk man, just feels weird to me personally. Like I don’t have the energy for hatedom. I know my little sibling really gets into hating one series that really disappointed her as a viewer, but even she now says that it’s an odd way to spend time, when she could be making fanart of something she likes instead. And I get that. I also spent my earlier non-internet days being more hateful of new media I disliked at the start, and while expressing that isn’t always bad (it’s just an iopinion), it became weirdly detrimental to me actually enjoying stuff in my tweens. Everything me and my friends and their friends ever talked about, was related to somehow being more above others or knowing better than others, being hateful of anything new or popular. And without quite realizing it right away, that was really tiring. Even if I spent time on things I did like, hobbies I enjoyed, that hate and childhood snobbishness sorta simmered there. I remember that for me it mainly came from “oh, I want to be a real animator one day, I should act like a real profesional adult and always be critical of the media I view, because that’s how I see adults treat real serious film.” Fast-forward 15 years, I’ve been through making comics as a tween, making fanart as a teen, I’ve been making a lot of different kinds of “cartoon art” in general as well as some actual art education, thinking, maybe I want to have some more general art schooling too. Later in my mid-twenties, I met someone with this similar mindset to my childhood self, who at first I got along with. We laughed at cartoons we didn’t like and made fun of the bad endings of those we did. At some point, I listened to them talking about getting to visit a big animation festival. And how they completely unironically expressed their hate directly at a leading crew member of a cartoon they didn’t like. And then I realized like. Wait a fucking minute. I don’t wanna act like this to other people! And this is why I don’t really “shoot the shit” about cartoons I don’t like as publicly anymore as I maybe once would have online on tumblr etc. Like I just don’t get it anymore. At most I’ll write down my thoughts somewhere private or to friends and try to understand why I don’t like the thing. And if it’s a very simple dislike, I just don’t spend time on it.
So like, I don’t get the hate the show (SRTUC) and character(Yuichi Usagi) get. Like I can understand sort of where people are coming from. but I don’t get why they gotta publicly tag it, announce it, or put it in the reblogged tags sometimes. the og poster sees that after all? so that’s like a bigger thought for me when it comes to tags.
I believe people can learn to be nice about a show they don’t like, but if they start to feel annoyed at fandom parts of the web they see online, they also start to feel hate toward a specific show, even if the show or thing itself might not be as bad. Example - I have this toward Star Wars for example, it’s a big fandom. I feel indifferent now, but in my youth, I found it annoying that everyone was talking about it as if it was the best thing ever, when it was spoiled for most of my childhood for me, and also felt like a generic movie series after all that. Something growing in popularity, or being really popular in a niche fandom can make ppl dislike it in general and that’s fairly ordinary as fandoms go. Often, people just don’t like a popular thing. Just think of series of like GoT/ASoIaF or HP. But then again those go down the cultural road so easily, I suppose in countries where western-media is really popular/common, it becomes like a cultural osmosis and fans can assume *everyone* likes it, even if not everyone does. I’m thinking about the fresh 30+ dads from 10 years ago I read about who only interacted with their kids through their own nerd interests. Pokemon is such a culturally permeated thing, it’s everywhere and everyone seems to assume everyone has played it or at least knows about it, even if at some point, some of us were big fans of Digimon instead, or some don’t like it at all. At some point, my dad gifted me a Harry Potter book, even though I (non-vocally) disliked it, but it was in the cultural osmosis here so strongly that it was everywhere and he just assumed I was into it (bless his heart, he genuinely didn’t know). HP was something that I initially disliked because it was so popular, but the idea of a “basic magic premise, but extended” seemed interesting, and it was required reading in my middle school, so at 11, I went to see the movie and thought, alright, maybe I’ll give it a chance. But reading the book I found things that didn’t make sense to me, that didn’t match what seemed like the themes of the book (the whole slave freedom plot for example) so I always sort of kept it at arms-length - not quite getting into it, but also not turning it away if I found anything, not saying anything upsetting to people who were fans of it. Everyone at my school read it though to varying degrees, or at least everyone knew things about it even if they weren’t fans or weren’t invested at all. (This was all before we knew JKR is a vocal TERF, so now I feel a bit validated in my dislike, even if I feel sad for the fans who got something positive out of the series).
So point being, fandom can have different types of people in it. A type of media will often accrue a specific type of fan and sometimes it won’t match what the show itself puts out. E.g. fans acting in ways that go squarely against what the media talks about (Steven Universe is a popular show with many fans that comes to mind), or a show having an unexpected viewership next to it’s intended demographic (us 90s kids still being cartoon fans in our late 20s/30s/early 40s). It’s slightly unpredictable in a general way. 
Of course, TMNT fandom is a bit different from those bigger properties because it was an indie comic made in the 80s that was so different and off-the-wall indie for a comicbook, it sold out and gave its creators Eastman and Laird a hefty legacy, lasting careers and actual money. Good for them! Personally I think it’s thanks to how genuinely creative and collaborative their work was then. Like Usagi Yojimbo, it’s an old comicbook/franchise now, so the “fandom” as such differs from generation to generation, from childhood to childhood. I met the turtles for the first time with the 87 series in the early 90s, then the next time w the 2003 series, which i initially hated as that angry, cartoon-critical tween, but was surprised at how much it seemed to take from the comics. I think I was initially angry about it for different reasons, mainly, “why is it so serious? why are the jokes so lame?” and also because I had invested so much emotionally into the idea of seeing something as good as the 80s cartoon again... but then found that it grew on me and now 20 years later I can look at it with nostalgia. As a result, my reaction to the 2012 series was mostly “wow another TMNT cartoon?” and “huh it looks interesting” and “oh I’ve seen this person work on another cartoon before”. My little sibling on the other hand only saw the 2003 cartoon and their reaction the the 2012 adaptation was “Wow, THEY’RE FINALLY TEENS” because as kids, we thought the 2003 TMNT looked and sounded “too much like boring adults”. But from many online fanspaces back then a lot of the more vocal reactions was around “THE 3D IS SO UGLY” and “WHY ARE THEY SO YOUNG”. You’ve probably heard similar sentiments of various degrees if you’ve been a fan or viewer of any TMNT cartoon. 
Usagi Yojimbo is unique in this sense because Stan Sakai has been the only one drawing and writing the comicbook for 40 years. Some of the visual style and writing tone change from book to book, but it’s gradual because Stan has changed as an artist and writer too. If you look at any comic series like this, it’s actually a natural part of many comics i.e. webcomics used to be a prominent example of this, as the creators were often complete novices at the beginning and graduated to a more consistent style. But even from a surface level view, lets say, reading other people’s reviews, you can see that people really enjoy Usagi Yojimbo for how consistent it is with it’s treatment of its characters, story and Edo-period culture. Stan Sakai really does his research and puts respect back into fiction inspired by samurai. Even though guides will often tell you that you can jump into the series from any point in the series, there’s just something really consistent about it as a whole. Sakai gets to do whatver he wants with his books and what he does seems to be thought-out usually. Even if the early animated adaptations were a bit incorrect, comic readers in general have a lot of respect for Stan and his work. My favourite part about this all is how Usagi Yojimbo is actually used to teach about japanese culture in a college course in the US.
Because both TMNT and UY are originally creator-owned comics (still so with UY regardless of publisher or adaptations but not so much TMNT as Viacom bought the rights in 2009), perhaps the general fan experience is more similar to original comics fandoms in Japan. Although whether a series is creator-owned varies from series to series, the manga and magazines culture in Japan seems wholly different from what US comicbooks were in the 80s and even what they still are now in that regard. Because a series will more often be written and illustrated by the same creator/artist/team, there are less variations and book-to-book differences both visually and tonally. In the US, a comicbook series can start with an artist-writer team, but then switch if the editorial decides some change is needed. This is something that often affects consistency and a story or character’s canon eventually and in a convoluted way, it’s the reason why we got “alternate earths” and “multiverse crossovers”. Which, while fun, make american comicbooks hard to read for some newer readers. Even with TMNT, once Eastman and Laird started having less time to make the comics and their other problems, it led into breaking off their creative partnership and never speaking again. But they had to continue the comic. If before the feud, they would just have fun passing the pages between each other, now they actually  so they wrote it he series became different based on who was writing it. One more sci-fi leaning and one more martial-arts and mysticism leaning. You can see this difference in the TMNT animated adaptations as well. The 2003 series namely is more based on Laird’s storylines in the comics and he was also consultant on the series. After the 2009 sale of Mirage to Viacom, we get the 2012 series, where Eastman acts as consultant, so it’s more heavy on his ideas of what the TMNT are. In 2019, the documentary series “Toys that made us” brought them together for the first time in almost 2 decades. And then we fans got to have The Last Ronin, a collaboration between the two again.
(What I’ve paraphrased here is mostly based on this video overview of how the comic became a franchise “How did a violent indie comic become a $15,000,000,000 franchise?” by matttt if you’re interested in seeing and hearing a more picturesque summary of this)
So getting back to fandom, because it’s mostly been one comicbook series, both the more avid and casual UY comics fans might not be used to there being adaptations of Stan’s Usagi. Yes, even with the visual examples I brought up above, perhaps some simply haven’t seen the animated adaptations because these are still marketed “for kids”. This is like the only reason I can think of that people who are 30+ adults, go online to complain about the Chronicles series online, even though it’s obviously for kids, meaning they probably didn’t even watch it. Folks are “surprised” Stan “let Netflix ruin his series” etc - even if it’s explicitly in a new futuristic setting to avoid affecting the comics canon. It will be interesting to know how people react when or if Sakai puts out his “Kagemusha” anthology, where the idea is about different creators telling different Usagi stories.
Even TMNT fans, many of whom don’t know Usagi beyond the animated adaptations, might jump in with this similar mindset of “different = bad”. Maybe there’s a manga/anime adaptation out there with the fans having similar concerns about their adaptations. Sailor Moon comes to mind, but as always, people’s grievances with an adaptation may have good reasons underneath. But also I’ve personally never seen an avid Sailor Moon fans be as annoying as the casual Star Wars fan. It might also depend on the age and lifestyle of the fan. Someone who is a teacher or parent, maybe they’ve met more people, put more thought into it, might feel milder about new or different things vs someone who is used to going online to see people angry and enjoys getting into arguments.
If I start to think about it, I can get a similar reaction out of myself. It was hard to look at mid-00s fanart of Usagi because it always felt a bit “extreme” like fans changed things about Usagi to suit their own understanding or image of samurai, which was always more based on popular movies or anime rather than the comic. I think this is just a general thing about fanart over the times. I still balk at some fanart, either UY or SRTUC, if for example the sides of the clothes are opposite - right over left, for burials vs left over right, like the letter ‘y’ - because it just means the fanartist didn’t bother to look up even references. Most times people just don’t know about this sort of stuff, they might be anime fans or they might even be part of a different asian culture, but it it’s not something that’s taught, of course it won’t reflect in something like fanart. But then, it’ll just be something new to learn. To me it also speaks of a wider annoyance of people liking things only for the surface-level appeal.
Usagi Yojimbo I’ve noticed has much more of a fanbase than fandom. I know fanbase doesn’t get used much as a term these days as more and more media gets an active fandom rather than staying at a fanbasem but it’s a term I’d like to use in this case. “The Wilkes Beacon” in 2014 defines the difference so: “Not everything with a fanbase has a fandom, because a fandom is a group of committed fans who are always vocally interested in their “thing,” usually expressing that on a social website such as Tumblr. Just because you’re a fan doesn’t mean the fandom will accept you.” Indeed sometimes fandom feels almost like being in a separate part of the club, only for people in the know about it. The origin for fanbase is attributed to early 20th century baseball fans. The origin of fandom, most well-known as a portmanteau of fan + kingdom, is often attributed to the original Sherlock Holmes fans who actually gathered to mourn the character when Arthur Conan Doyle decided to kill him off (bless your hearts and souls, sometimes it feels like fandom has never changed) but also from early 20th century sports fans and 60s Trekkies, who saved their show. A lot of different sources give different origins and histories for these words and many will also equate them as synonymous.
My own experiences tell me that a fanbase is more general - any fans of a thing, whether they attend conventions, buy the media or no (i.e. Sherlock Holmes readers, sports fans) and will comprise the “base” of any activity - the larger number of fans that exist for a piece of media/sport/celebrity. A fandom will be the more “active” part, more interested in being connected with each other within that fanbase. Of course, to any other person outside of fans, both of these will be synonymous and a fan will look weird and fanatical regardless of how little they invest themselves into a media. But I’’m making this distinction to describe what I see as more casual and more active “fanbase as a whole”. Fanbase as a word feels more general, while Fandom sounds more specific. So as an example, the One Piece “fanbase” might feel large and more everywhere, like with pokemon or Sherlock Holmes the book, but the OP fandom can feel more active and particitative, like the .It’ll depend entirely on what way each person interacts with the media. Do you have friends who are also fans of the series? it’s like a fandom. You just watch it but don’t participate as much? You’re in the fanbase, but you might partake in fandom activities if you feel like it. You might be a more casual fan, but you might have more avid feelings about the series as well, but you’re not that interested in making fanworks or posts or reacting to other fans at all. A fandom might be big, but more ubiquitous, more silent and conversely, some fandoms may be small, but still very active and vocal. I’ve often theorized that this is because So UY online fandom sorta feels like the latter, but more under-the-radar. Small and active but also more silent and appreciative. With the previous “big fandoms” example, it’s also the juxtaposition between Old and New that comes into play. An old Spidey fan from the 70s might have become an official Spiderman fanartist, but they might not partake in all the fan stuff they used to anymore. Still a fan, but maybe the newer and younger “fandom” as such is just not appealing to them in the same way.
The larger or more advertised a TV series or book is, the larger and more annoying its fanbase in general. If a piece of media has less popularity, it will ergo have a smaller fanbase and sometimes no “active fandom” at all. So now with the Samurai Rabbit: the Usagi Chronicles TV show as an animated spinoff-adaptation, we have a similar problem that TMNT fans have been familiar with over the decades. Thanks to the show, there’s a more active, slightly younger fandom who want to connect over the series and maybe even read the comicbook, know more about the source and origins, they might want to even know how the show was made, make fanart or fic. So fans like any other, but just that the media they’re a fan of now, is still relatively new. Maybe these newer fans act or write differently online from how older fans are used to. Maybe they even treat the original source comic differently or just don’t know anything about it. In any case, new series and new fans will generally seem annoying because culturally that’s what we’ve started to associate some of fandom with. Otaku culture etc. So it and it’s fans might get the “new thing” treatment as mentioned above with the TMNT animated adaptations.
The difference here is that Stan Sakai has been wanting his own animated adaptation for a long time (just look at the Space Usagi pilot for proof) and while many suggested projects to him before, this one actually piqued his interest bc they did something new with the characters. You could say that what people don't like abt this series are some decisions resulting from this being a netflix cartoon for kids. the decision to set it in a near-future with a new younger for example, was made in the beginning by netflix and I haven’t found any articles yet that’s found a legit reason for why it stayed this way. My guess based on interviews with Stan and crew is that Stan found it interesting as a possible new way to get more readers to the comic. Something for the younger generation. Although many readers and even parents will attest that the comic is child-appropriate (and really, it is), the TV-Y7 ratings and so on exist for a reason. And while I would love for more western studios to get funding for more adult animation in general (I’m not from the US myself and animation such a large medium, the way that genres are explored or what gets made for adults vs kids feeks so different elsewhere), I think it’s good that the first full series based on UY is this “non-violent” (your mileage may vary). Because a lot of the more vocal adult fans of UY seem more focused on the violence vs what kids might get out of it. A popular quote from Sakai is “Once, a mother asked me, 'What is Usagi Yojimbo about?' and before I could answer, her son said, 'It’s about honor.'"   (Komai for JANM, 2011). Sometimes it seems like the “older adults” or the “more casual” fans of UY sort of don’t get it.
Even the naming of the series and character has reasons, which I’ve seen some Rise Leosagi shippers make their own reasons for. So the various hate from “older fans” I see about it is strange because all evidence points to the show having Sakai’s approval and his full involvement. Of course, I could also be wrong, but watching the series, it doesn’t feel to me like an “empty cashgrab” as one angry TMNT fan put it. It feels more like something made by other UY fans, those more familiar than I was at the time, with both Usagi Yojimbo lore as well as the culture and lore behind it. In their quest to properly honor the comic series they loved, crew put a lot research hours into making sure both edo and post-edo periods got to be part of their show. Like “trips to japan during a pandemic” type of research. The show is an interesting fusion of old and modern in futuristic setting and feels wholly unique as an experiment.
Another aspect of course is also the shipping parts of fandom. I can never quite get my head behind this “arguing about ships” because it just reminds me of my Grandma and her older sister fighting over their soap operas and who should get together with who. And alright, maybe this was fun for them...? I’ve never been that invested in this myself but it can be fun to have a pairing you root for in a show, when it’s just a bunch of connected ideas over the story, there really seems like a real genuine connection between the characters or if there’s a chance to connect with other fans over it. That’s kind of what fandom is for me in general, but with crossover ships, it’s like a strange and interesting combination of “oooh what interesting similarities and differences” and “lets find out” with fanworks. 
This is the main way I enjoy making crossovers in general work, even if I’ve never finished an actual fic (I’m more of an artist) and even if the works sometimes don’t go together (it’s like a fun challenge). I wonder sometimes if the SRTUC crew also imagined crossovers with TMNT? As in this fanart post on facebook by Samurai Rabbit character designer Andry R, I wonder what that could have been like. After all, if many of the crew are fans too, it just makes sense to think about that? it’s fun to think of crossovers after all! And since it’s fanwork, I personally don’t feel as obligated to make some of the quality as insanely good as I would have in my younger days. I want to enjoy the art making process too, so putting research and sketches into a piece is sometimes my own “enough”. So I don’t really care about views either because I know even now, tastes might still just be not geared toward something sketchier that I make.
Even so, despite the experience with online sites and social media people have in general, or other artists/fans encouraging to feel a bit less worried about socmedia algorhitms, it might be frustrating that posts are not as popular even if your idea feels great.
So connecting all of that fandom talk, I can only assume people mistag between a popular and non-popular series for similar reasons. As said earlier, fans might assume everyone prefers the popular thing and that it’s better to tag that popular/bigger/older thing. Because at least that So in our case, I’ve noticed more that ppl tag Yuichi Usagi with the Miyamoto Usagi tag. From the surface, it seems like people don’t know about the Yuichi tags/show or they just don’t like it for some other reason. Now Tumblr is more a “home of fandoms” than casual fans, as most of the user-generated content is entirely by people who get much more invested in a series than a casual fan. Similarly I’ll see people tag their TMNT 2012 inspired fandesigns as ROTTMNT as well, because that is simply seen as the popular fandom at the time ergo, more attention on your post.
Maybe a solution for the mis-tagging could be smth as simple as fandom outreach, something active to unite the different types of fans into using tags correctly, but of course, something more active and social might feel more unnatural, as most of us are more wall-flower than social butterfly - working off the assumption here that most fans are shy. I used to be pretty shy as a fan and now I’m more active and out-going in general in my adult years, but at the same time, doing something socially more active is still a scary thought in my brain so I can understand that it’s easier to just tag and hope it’s correct. Or easier to make ticked off posts vs something with a different kind of effort. But then again, as brought up in my examples of other fandoms, being a fan can make people very active in taking part in similar fan activities. As we all enjoy the same thing in different ways or different media in similar ways, we are all still fans at the end of the day. Whether casual or more involved, that’s a unique experience that should unite us. So I’ll have my peace with the older cartoon-hating fans who only view Usagi Chronicles as an empty children’s cartoon etc etc. 
So, because I’m an adult, but also an artist and animation fan, this is how I’ve been approaching TV cartoons for the past 5-10 years. Against my first reaction of “oh, this is too slow for me” the way I chose to view the series once I saw more of it was “I’m an adult, and this is a cartoon made my other older adults, for kids - let me see what it’s about”. It’s more about curiosity and seeing what other creatives have done to put connective tissue between one idea to another.
Personally when it comes to tagging I try to keep to a general amount of “minimum amount of tags possible” bc I’m a bit lazy but also, I will never find anything on my own blog later if I used more than 20 tags about a simpler fanart post. So maybe like 1-2 tags for show/series, 1-2 tags for characters and my own art tags. I am lazy but I also like being considerate with other people. But also because of my previous experience with blogging, I like to keep tags I re-use as consistent as possible so I have the same experience. Of course, sometimes I forget what I’ve actually used if there are many tags i.e. many characters. so keeping the tags short is a boon for that end.
Here is the draft version for the UY and Usagi Chronicles tag guide, i'm gonna change this more but this is mostly how I've been tagging stuff (or have tried to so far) and I wrote a small guide back in march before all this, but have been coming back to it now with more general and character tags in mind. 
== Tagging Guide ==
Hello Rise of the TMNT and Usagi Chronicles joint fandom! Here’s a guide on how to tag Usagi Chronicles/Samurai Rabbit stuff! Mostly it’s my own view on how to tag things based on how I interact w the fandom stuff posted here but also from my experience of using tumblr and older blogging platforms - how I see the most common/make-sensical ways to tag characters/shows. But maybe you will find this useful too, fellow fan!
Usagi Yojimbo - the name of the original comicbook series - I decidedly reserve this for posts and reblogs ONLY about the Usagi Yojimbo comic (pages covers,, screenshots, memes), or general fanart of the comic or its characters. This helps me keep it separate so I can find posts about it later.
Usagi Chronicles - personally I use this for all content for the show, but especially the crossover stuff and my own art posts. This seems to be the most commonly used unique tag about this show.
SRTUC - acronym, good for short posts, for quick tagging. but I also use this to tag general reblogged posts about the show
Samurai Rabbit - I only try to use this if it is about the official stuff, like interviews and GIF/screenshots in bulk (more than 2). This tag gets used a lot for both the series but before that it was also used for posting general UY comics content and alternate covers by other artists, as well as for original samurai rabbits unaffiliated by UY. It is too general for me to use it on my own posts outside of text posts maybe.
Samurai Rabbit the Usagi Chronicles - mostly I use this tag for more general posts, but also reblogs if someone else has made something directly related to the series.
SamuraiRabbitNetflix - lol I only use this one on twitter, bc I saw someone from the crew use it and it has stuck for most of my more finished posts I guess ^^ Literally nobody else on tumblr uses it which is fine, but I think it’s a good way to separate the series and the more general posts people make about the comic or guest art of it (or sometimes original art unrelated to UY)
Characters:
Miyamoto Usagi - I try to mainly use it for just comic Usagi and fanart, but occasionally I will use it for fanart depicting
Rise Miyamoto Usagi - Any Rise!versions of comics Usagi. Usually these are fandesigns, but sometimes fans will adapt it wholesale (usually adapting him from his younger years). Sometimes it is unclear which version it is based on or it is a completely original version so I simply tag these as Rise Usagi.
Yuichi Usagi - pretty self-explanatory! I only use this for posts/fanart including Yuichi Usagi (but not when he is only mentioned in passing). Sometimes it is hard to differentiate between these versions however, 
Usagi fandesign/Yuichi Usagi fandesign/Miyamoto Usagi fandesign - I use all these tags to organize the fandesigns ppl make of all these characters, reserving “Usagi fandesign” when it’s really an original design based on various canon Usagi concepts or more of a “general” Usagi than a specific one i.e. meant for the Rise or 2012 TMNT crossover AUs. This counts for me in reblogs also when the OP hasn’t really decided what the character is and has tagged both characters. Lol there is a lot of different fanart of these characters and for my own sake, I tag these separately where possible so I can find the fanart easier later (especially if the posts themselves have text which doesn’t use these names, or if tumblr search is not working on blogs)
UY character - I use “UY” as the common acronym before characters from UY, but I also generally tag their names in reblogs. idk, this just makes it easier for me to find them later in my own blog and that’s all (Kenichi and Mariko for example are quite common Japanese names)
Tomoe Ame - This character just deserves her own tag, but also, I think the 03 version, while quite different, can fit in the same tag because people don’t post about them as much ^^;;
--
And now for the TMNT tags!
Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - the official name! long, but good if you are tagging official stuff i.e. screenshots, gifs, concept art, tweets from crew etc
ROTTMNT - good short catch-all tag, lots of ppl use this to tag their reblogs quickly, but shorter posts can also go under here
Rise of the TMNT - Slightly longer tag than the full acronym, but more descriptive, if you wanna make sure people know it’s a TMNT show
Rise TMNT - I’ve seen a few ppl use this as a tag and it’s a valid way to tag (short and unique) but it’s not as popular as the others
2018 TMNT - again, general tag for the series. Common way to make a tag for a TMNT series - adding the year of airing before the TMNT acronym. Same with TMNT 2018. Same for the comics! I’ll use IDW TMNT as a tag for example, bc it seems widely used and understood.
TMNT18 - same as the previous one, but shorter! There are a lot of TMNT media besides the comics, (movies, animated series, etc) so it’s a general easier practice to tag via year. Ppl also sometimes use the variation 18TMNT. Anything is basically fair game with these general tags as long as the author of a blog finds stuff later.
Characters![I’m not sure about the characters yet bc I use the tags differently than other people apparently. my blog my rules i guess!]
rottmnt [character] - reserved for when i tag this character in crossovers, eg rottmnt April, rottmnt donnie. I generally use nicknames for the rottmnt boys cuz I am lazy.
Rise [character] e.g. Rise Leo, Rise April - I try and use this just for 
April O Neil (full name) - for when I’m tagging them in general and just want to see them in this tag with the other versions
12 April or 12April - for the 2012 TMNT versions of the characters. I often write the tags together bc I am just lazy but in the case of numbers, I can also forget. On tumblr I try to remember to use spaces cuz that is allowed here lol.
----
And that’s it! I have more in the list, but that is the gist of the style of it. Basically hust explaining what I’ve seen and if/how I use it on my own blog. Let me know if you have more thoughts about this. I’m curious to know what other fans of both series think!
9 notes · View notes
chanstopher · 11 months
Note
I don't want this to come off as rude at all,I'm just curious as to why you get so much interaction. your posts always get notes and you seem to answer a lot of asks everyday. I am also a cc in the fandom (I'm on anon because I don't want anyone to judge me for this) and my content flops pretty constantly. I'm just wondering if there is a secret to success I'm not learning or if my content is just garbage. Any advice would be nice!
Hi, I definitely dont think you're being rude, I totally understand being frustrated by numbers on here. i wish i had secrets to share but i really dont. i have a lot of followers so my content is pushed further. using tags properly and becoming friends with other ccs is really good for getting your content seen. ive been lucky enough to have ppl like me for some reason so ppl support my blog when i post things most of the time. i do also have some flops, thats just how tumblr works and some ppl wont agree that your content is good and ignore it.
its harsh to say that and i know that ive had terrible content get a lot of notes because of my blog size. but you just have to keep working at it. try changing up how your content looks (more or less grain, sharpening settings, try unique coloring or try to really work on color correction instead of just making things more vibrant or darker) if u write find other writers, no one supports content like content creators.
as for the asks, i have literally no idea. i am confused as to why people would talk to me constantly abhdjs I just try to be kind and keep my negative opinions to myself unless theyre about ppl stepping over bounds or being mean or rude to skz. i try to just be unapologetically myself tho, posting about chris like a rabid dog or just weeping over how much i love him. it is apparently very relatable lmao
i am not good at making friends, all of the people who i am friends with on here have come to me seeking friendship, but going on anon and talking to ppl or just showing up in tags with fun comments or thoughts or just compliments on the content will make you friends. a lot of ppl have reached out to me just because i was kind to their work.
the only real advice is to not give up. i think blog growth is always slow until you just hit a certain point where for one reason or another you become more known and then it will grow more rapidly, but it can take a while. and it can take you finding what youre really good at, you might have no idea how well you are and gif blends or graphics or even just being someone who updates on activities happening with skz (this site is absolutely lacking a proper skz update blog fsjniss) if you ever want to vent about it i'll listen, and if you ever want to send me your content and ask for critique i can do that too (but it will just be my opinion and im not anything special fhbdjs)
above all else you have to enjoy making things or it is never going to be worth it. no number of notes is going to make u better at any kind of art. only time and effort and enjoyment will.
I'm sorry this is so long and i wish any of it was truly helpful, but tbh i think i just got lucky with tumblr and how much interaction i get :/
8 notes · View notes
red-riding-wood · 1 year
Text
Back from Hiatus
Trigger warning? I think? Brief mentions of medical stuff, nothing graphic. Oh, and death (but none occurred).
TLDR if you don't want to read seven paragraphs: Physical health bad, mental health bad, now hospitalised, fucked up when transferring my story files, hospital bad, home soon?, regardless you will be seeing me back in your feed probably more than you'd like
Tumblr media
Rambling below cut
So, about a month ago I had to take a step back from Tumblr... and then an even bigger step back from Tumblr, because I had taken a step back from writing and I found that I just pressured myself too much to write and post when I did use the app. (I did my best to save your guys' stories in my drafts to read later but... I may have missed some and I definitely have some catching up to do.)
Why did I take a hiatus from writing? Well, that was due to my physical health declining in a real bad way. I won't get into it too much here, because I would end up telling a dramatic yet probably honestly boring story of the last four years of my life, but I'm willing to answer any questions if anyone's curious.
Anyway, that sent my head into a state of just utter... fear, I suppose. It's very difficult to care or focus on anything else when death is literally on your mind, and I was also in this weird state of limbo because I wasn't sure if I would be going to hospital or dying or what... so I didn't write, or really do anything except try to take care of myself the best I could. And I pretty much just isolated.
I've been in hospital a couple days now. The fear of death has lessened, and I think I'm gonna be okay, though I'm straight up not having a good time. I had this idea that what would get me through it was writing, so I sent myself all of my docs for my WIPs. Thing is, I keep shortcuts to them on my desktop, and apparently they don't save changes to the root file?? A lesson I learned after I showed up and found that massive chunks of my writing, notes, and storyboards were missing. Yeah, I fucked up.
But now there is talk of outpatient care as soon as this Friday which means I can maybe go home with my TPN (feeding through a vein tube which is the best way I can describe it since I am not a medical professional; it's basically a hardcore IV and I assure you it's badass and exactly like Cyberpunk 2077 -- that was sarcasm but seriously, props to anyone who lives with these because these are terrifying). If that's the case, I'll be able to carry on with White Ribbon and the fics I had started for Darjeeling and Budapest, and it will probably be a lot easier for me to write in general. I haven't tried writing yet, but hospital is a really uncomfortable environment for me (I mean, I'm sure it is for most people but I have a lovely lifetime dose of trauma on top of the usual) and I'm not managing as well as I thought I would so I have my doubts on how well I will be able to focus. (Don't worry about requests, guys... I haven't forgotten about any of them and I still fully intend to fulfill them, even if it means writing your smutty fantasies in hospital.)
If that's not the case, and I'm stuck here until surgery, well, I am willing it into the damn universe that I'm gonna write again regardless. So if you don't see me post something in the next week you have my blessing to send copious amounts of hate mail.
Thank you for reading my long-winded explanation. Oh, and, don't hesitate to message/reach out or tag me in anything! I'm feeling more social again now that I'm not, you know, dying and stuff.
8 notes · View notes
dancinbutterfly · 1 year
Text
I feel like mid30s is so young to feel left behind by...idk...life? I look at other people my age and they're cued in and i'm just like... not interested in most of it.
What kills me is I was on computers before all of you. I carried my laptop everywhere before you had smartphones and you made SUCH fun of me!
But now I look at the shit on phones - the social media apps that arent tumblr (though I do have my Dreamwidth still and I use it occassionally and will like C&P this post there actually) and I just could care LESS about anything people are doing there. It's all video-based and digital gaming and...what else? Seriously, aside from listening to music and looking up where shit is, when things are happening, if a thing is available/good/for sale - what the fuck are people doing on all day? What's the point of all this...stuff? The tech that people are throwing themselves at? Is it all just news? Is that really all people are doing? Is that really what's filling EVERYONE'S time? That and...putting your face out there?
IDK I had dinner with my sisters tonight who are my age but very much...not fandom people and also very straight and I was just struck with this like - everyone keeps talking about the world moving So Fast and i'm like "okay but where? where is everyone going in such a hurry?"
Because I feel like emotionally? I've moved a lot. Personally, inside my issues? Super far.
But what I'm actually doing? Writing stories, talking to friends, looking at beautiful art, doing literary analysis of media, exploring new information as I find something interesting I didnt know before, gaining psychological skills? That's the fucking same. Still trying to date. Still working shit out with my family. Still driving my car. Still cuddling with my dog. Still taking pictures and video of stuff so my ADHD brain will remember it years from now.
It's what I've always been doing. What is this crazy move forward?
Because people talk about it! The Tech Advances - and dont get me wrong? Some stuff like the mRNA vaccine for covid and electric charging cars? HUGE LEAP VERY GLAD!
But the cultural stuff that's All Tech? IDK I pick up a phone and everyone says you can put shit on it but like...I never do. You get all these bells and whistles but the most bells and whistle-y thing I own besides my actual computer is a galaxy light with bluetooth, which plays music from my laptop or my phone. Like....what are people DOING? What are they USING these advances for?
Ok there's social media and like, I've been on tiktok(I have one with 0 videos so I can watch some comic creators and B Dylan Hollis bake) and I've been on Instagram (I have one with no photos of me so I can message people I meet at art shows) I have a twitter I've used but it's a toxic app that feeds our worst impulses because of the limited word space and nothing good comes from it and I try not to go there and my FB is still up because my entire family has it and likes to tag me. But Tumblr is all I truly use.
Yet there's apparently other stuff and is supposed to be time consuming and entertaining and consuming of people's attention and changing lives? Too? I guess? Actual tech? I hear?
I don't know. None of it seems useful. A smart fridge seems insanely fucking stupid considering how poorly functioning every phone I've ever used is! A smart thermostat is absolutely dangerous insane considering how badly every thermostat I've ever used in every building I've ever been in has run (and to quote Archer: THATS HOW MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE STARTED!) Alexa, Siri and Hey Google are fucking bugs people put in their entire houses and then they sleep and fuck and TALK in them. Ring Camera are literally in a contract with the fucking police. Turning on GPS on your phone tracks where you are and gives your info to Apple and Google for...whatever they want?
But even if you dont do that...what is there on there that's worth doing that for? What's so interesting? People hand me their phones and they have 4, 5 screens of apps!
Like...what am I missing!?
What the hell about things that are progressing as we're living it am I not seeing?
Is there something things since...idk 2015 that is just...so good that went passed me while I was in grade school, depression and recovering from being physically ill/surgery that I just missed all of what the fuck is cool about life right now?
Because I just look out and see: Exactly what it was before except people are really excited to humiliate themselves on video for attention and/or risk death through experimental tech because it's new and only because it's new.
And I am genuinely standing here with The Conformity Bias tickling my brain because it feels so odd and impossible that my feelings could be right when so many people are saying no, these new things are necessary for happiness while I find them utterly superfluous and unimportant.
15 notes · View notes
protect-namine · 8 months
Text
I was gonna put these tags in tumblr's feedback form but like. if I was someone reading feedback, I'd honestly rather read something that's actionable (because sentiment is easy to understand but hard to make solutions for) so I'm just gonna draft here some suggestions before sending, because apparently, I have opinions. anyway this'll just be one of many, I'm sure staff will see a lot of suggestions in their time, so I'm not really expecting anything to come out of this. but uh, my two cents:
okay, first of all, what is tumblr? (I promise I'm going somewhere with this, it informs the actionable points later). I think it's obvious now that the tumblr userbase wants tumblr to stay true to what makes tumblr unique instead of copying what other social media sites are doing. but what is it that makes tumblr unique? why did people come here, and why have users stayed on this platform? a lot of us have been here for more than a decade now despite this site "slowly dying" and just hanging on by a miracle.
for me, what I like is how different tumblr culture is. tags function as community hubs, as ways to archive and organize individual blogs, and as quiet commentary. blogs are not treated like social media "user accounts" tied to an identity and one way of socializing. they are pseudonymous and flexible enough to function as a portfolio, a diary, an account to interact with other accounts, a collection of essays, anything really! it's a blog! you can do whatever you want! as much as we engage with other users, blogs are also a personal space just for you. this is your own little place on the internet, your own bulletin board. it can be anything you want it to be. and like, the pseudonymity thing (and not making follower count public) is important, I think, because it informs how users interact. nobody here gets influencer points. just do you. it's freeing in a way other sites aren't.
also, you can queue posts. how neat is that? I think it's cool because posts have longevity in this site, which also builds into site culture. this is why we have homegrown memes and inside jokes. posts don't disappear after 24 hours. you can reblog 10 year old posts if you think the art is really cool or the joke is really funny or the post is still relatable, and no one will find that weird.
and that's the thing, isn't it? tumblr is a microblogging site before it is a "social media" site. customizability is built into the platform. don't want an algorithm? you can opt-out on so many ways your dashboard can show posts. you can customize your blog theme and create your own tags to organize posts. you can change your dashboard colors. posts don't have a character limit and they give you so many tools for formatting. you can make sideblogs!! double, triple the blogs!! maybe you have a public fandom blog, an aesthetic blog, and a personal diary that you keep private. so many tools to make your experience flexible.
okay, so what are actionable things we can do to double down on what makes tumblr special? mind you, these are all just suggestions and like, I didn't really think of how easy or fast they will be to implement nor how much money this will rake in. but like. also, even if these suggestions are stupid hard to do, I believe that just showing the general direction of changes to do and prioritize should be reflected on showing off what makes tumblr different. and I hope to illustrate that here.
so, sticking on that theme of blogging and customizability:
we have a blog system. cool! you know what blogs have? about pages. tag pages. we used to make custom pages for this, now newer users just link their carrd. yeah, that's easier, but what if all tumblr blogs just had a default about page and tag page? like, you know what frustrates me about the mobile view for blogs? I have to manually link about and tag pages there (or carrd links, but I don't have a carrd). why can't it be a default thing? make all blogs have an about page and a tags page. users can turn it off if they don't want it. users can customize the pages further if they want to make it fancy. the tags page can list your top 10 tags or whatever as a start. we already show popular tags in a blog's search bar, so just take that to the next level. and this has the added benefit of reminding people that, hey, you have a blog and this is your playground for self expression. playgrounds are fun when there are toys! give users toys for their blogs, tumblr!
a functioning blog navigation system. what do all blogs have? well they have submissions and asks, and users will usually have some custom tags for them. blogs have a whole archive system that's underutilized and rather hidden. why not create a system that makes it easier to find all of these when scrolling through a blog? let users set their custom tag for asks and make that visible in the blog navigation menu, or just make them more accessible and easier to find. I don't want to go to the web version and type /archive in the url anymore. also, users can decide which ones to enable/disable in the nav system (maybe users don't want submissions or archives there, that's cool too).
users can see the top posts for a blog. cool! how about we make a customizable version of that? like, we can still keep the tumblr-generated top posts, but what if we let blogs have a user-generated highlights page as well? keep the highlights page limited to a couple of posts, maybe 10. artists can put their favorite art there. writers with their fics. fandom blogs with their meta essays and funny posts. aesthetic blogs with gifs and moodboards they're proud of. random posts about their day that they want people to know. maybe a blog has a combination of all of them to show the variety in their blog. give users a way to show what's generally on their blog in a flash. like top posts, but users decide which ones are the top one. like pinned posts, but longer.
we have a badge system. cool! how about we let users create their own custom badges? and let them share those badges with others? heck we can even make it a paid feature. I buy a badge from the marketplace, tumblr gets a small cut for distributing, but the creator gets most of the payment (this is important! pay your artists!). I mean, this is already a thing with blog themes (though idk, do people actually pay for themes these days?)
this one is just a personal thing, but aside from badges, can we get little hats for our icon/pfp/avatar/whatever people call it these days? like the top hat from that one april fools'. just a lil hat on the dashboard, I think that would be cute. :)
create an onboarding experience for new users. show users a guided tutorial on what settings they can opt in or out of, what they can customize on their blog, how to follow tags, and so on. maybe we don't need to appeal to how users from other sites use those sites. we want them to see what makes tumblr unique and how to actually see it. and I know what you're going to say. "oh, but the friction, protect-namine. the onboarding experience means it takes longer for users to start using the site". one: make it optional then. two: honestly, we probably should have more friction because we have a spambot problem. one of the best deterrents for spam is making it harder for them to start using the site.
tumblr is a playground and playgrounds need toys that are fun. tumblr live/tv? hate it. polls? love it, it builds community and everyone likes clicking buttons. layout change? don't like it, it makes tumblr look like other sites and it looks cluttered and takes attention away from the dashboard. ability to set popular tags in a blog search bar? love that, it makes my blog mine, now can we just extend this concept to every other change we can do for the site?
I am suggesting these things with love. maybe some of these suggestions are too hard or we don't have resources for them, maybe some of them are already in progress. I have no fucking idea. but I just think tumblr already has something going on for itself, and I would really like for that thing to keep going and be prioritized instead of seeing this site be cannibalized into something it isn't (a twitter clone).
2 notes · View notes
hobbitsetal · 2 years
Note
I saw your post on the entertainment debate floating around, and read the tags, so I was wondering if you did end up writing a post on storytelling and God?
Not a separate post as such, but I had a few under my "art faith and media" tag that probably qualify!
But for you, dear anon, let me go off just a bit because I'm procrastinating editing and this is a worthy writing project.
What has storytelling to do with God, first and foremost? I would argue He is the original Storyteller, that the Bible is the story of humanity's quest to understand and follow this Great Being Who reveals Himself to us in many ways and through various means.
Jesus taught through parables, in the tradition of various Jewish rabbis, as a Jewish rabbi Himself. God affirmed and continued the human yen for storytelling while He walked this earth with us. I find that eminently lovely.
The first followers of Christ were charged to go and spread the news of what God had done--charged to become storytellers and forth-tellers. Storytelling itself was changed by the presence of God. I've seen a post on Tumblr talking about the old story form of a man who loses his lover to death. The Greek myths end with him losing her forever. The stories post-Jesus end with him recovering her. Take that one with a grain of salt--I am no scholar and I can't find the post again--but it's a beautiful thought.
So, do we now go on to tell you to write stories with good Christian morals?
Absolutely not. If you set out to write a moral, you'll probably bore everybody. Write a good story and your own values will filter into it. Art is terrifyingly revelatory. I've laughed with my husband before over how various life changes and events and struggles seep into my characters and storytelling, whether I want them to or not.
And that brings me to what one might consider the heart of storytelling: knowledge and understanding. Those who read more widely are, apparently, more empathetic. Reading puts us in the shoes of others, in other situations and other worlds. Reading humanizes other people to us, and that is a valuable weapon against selfishness.
Storytelling gives us a safe way to work through questions and struggles. Some scholars apparently believe that the books of Job and Jonah don't describe historical events, but are records of the ancients Jews grappling with the problem of pain and with the idea of a God Who is willing to embrace even our worst enemies.
Storytelling gives us a medium to examine our world in a way that removes it from us just a bit, just enough to study issues with a little more breathing room. What makes a god? What is worth fighting for or dying for? How does one determine right and wrong when everything seems uncertain and you don't know who's lying?
What does hope look like in the face of great darkness? Read The Lord of the Rings. What might God's love look like in another world, in another place? Read C.S. Lewis's The Chronicles of Narnia, or his Space Trilogy. Is morality contingent on gods? What is the responsibility of those in power to defend against oppression, racism, abuse of power? Read Terry Pratchett's Discworld.
You don't need to agree with everything you read. I adore Pratchett, but he was an atheist and it shows in his writings, and I am very much a theist to my core. Nonetheless, he makes important observations about human nature and right and wrong.
If you read through a Christian lens--that is, through the mindset that there is a God, that He cares about us, and that objective right and wrong exist--everything you read has the potential to teach you important things.
Why am I talking so much about reading? Because I'm a writer, and reading is what I think of first. Movies, tv shows, podcasts, oral stories--all qualify equally as storytelling. I think art--paintings or web comics or whatever else you would like to name--can be storytelling. They all have the potential to move someone emotionally, to point them to insights about humanity, to provoke the imagination.
Storytelling, then, is a way to understand ourselves and the world around us better, both as it is and as it relates to God. Storytelling is a reflection of the Great Creator, the original Storyteller, the One Who knows us most intimately and perfectly...the One Who created us for joy.
Embrace imagination, my friend. It is created by God.
11 notes · View notes