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cowgurrrl · 11 months

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Too Close

Pairing: rockstar!joel x actress!reader

Author’s note: this isn’t exactly where I wanted it to be but I still like it (ps fic named after this song)

Summary: “Why, get you gone! Who is’t that hinders you?” “A foolish heart, that I leave here behind.” A Midsummer Night’s Dream Act III, Scene II, Lines 318-319 [2.5k]

Warnings: arguing, language, tumultuous co-parent relationships, the l word, allusions to substance abuse, vague depictions of a panic attack, brief description of disassociation, poor sleeping habits, fictional situations of survivor’s guilt/traumatic events, this one’s a doozy y’all

Joel ushers you into his bedroom and quickly closes the door behind him like you two are sneaking around and don't want to get caught. You bite your thumbnail as you think, replaying the brief moment you saw Angela over and over again. He stands there, hands on his hips, and takes a deep breath. You don't know where to start. Two hours ago? Last week? Twenty years ago? Time seems to collapse between the two of you.

"If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. Not Sarah." He says as if getting pissed at Sarah was even on your radar.

"I'm not gonna get mad at her. She's a kid," you scoff. The fact that he even had to specify that makes your skin crawl. At what point during your relationship have you made it seem like you would ever be angry with her? "How long have you known?" You ask the million-dollar question, and he sighs, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Sarah reached out to her a couple of months ago, and she responded. I didn't think she'd actually show up."

"How long is a couple of months?"

"She emailed her before we left for New York." He says, and you have to sit down on the ottoman at the front of his bed to catch your breath. You bury your head in your hands and fight the tears stinging behind your eyes. Your knee bounces with unspent anger and anxiety, and your heart hammers in your chest.

"So, the entire time I was telling you everything about my past and showing you where I lived and trusting you for the first time, you were in contact with your ex-wife?" You ask, but he doesn't say anything. You look up to stare at him, and he shakes his head.

"I didn't think she'd actually come into town."

"That doesn't matter, Joel! You should've told me!"

"I didn't know if we were even anythin' before we went to New York, so it didn't feel important." He says like it's your fault, and you raise your eyebrows at him. You walk over to him, fire in your veins and venom choking you as all your frustration spills from you.

"Oh, is that why you fucked me? Because you didn't know and wanted to try something? Wanted to see if I was worth keeping around?" You ask. "Because you seemed to have a pretty good idea of what we were when you stuck your tongue down my throat, so please tell me what revelation you had that made you think you didn't have to tell me you were talking to the woman who left you with a baby."

"I didn't want to ruin our time together."

"Well, it's pretty fucking ruined now, isn't it?"

"You don't get it!" He raises his voice, and you throw up your hands in defeat as he turns his back to you. You groan and rub your face, looking up at the ceiling in hopes that some sentient being will smite you right then and there.

"Then, explain it to me, Joel." You say, and he shakes his head as he faces you. You think of the young Joel you saw in the picture you saw two weeks ago. The Joel who was a single dad working construction to afford formula for his daughter. The Joel who was in his early twenties and divorced and scorned. The Joel who wrote one of your favorite songs and released it alone, not knowing what his future would hold. That Joel is hard to find when you look at him now.

"She's sober. She has a steady job in Texas. She's finally gettin' back on her feet. I've been tryin' for eighteen years to get her to even pick up the fuckin' phone, and now here she is, and she's better. This could be a chance."

"A chance for what?"

"For us to be a family or, at least, for Sarah to have a relationship with her." He says, and you nod, biting the inside of your cheek. You’re not family. You’re an outsider, someone to hang around until Mom gets to come back and take what’s hers. You’re not permanent in the grand scheme of his family.

"Do you still love her?"

"What?"

"Do you still love her?" You repeat slowly. He gives you a look before running his thumb over an invisible ring on his left finger. It might've been a nervous habit, but you saw it. You saw the way he flinched when he felt skin instead of metal.

"I…" he starts. "I will always have love for her. I-"

"Oh, my God." You can't even stand to hear the rest of his sentence. You push your hair out of your face and start pacing.

"She's Sarah's mom!" He yells.

"And she left! She left and didn't give a shit about either of you, Joel! And now that you're famous and have money, she suddenly checks her inbox?!"

"You don't know what you're talkin' about."

"Apparently, I don't know a lot," you say. He softens momentarily as the words hang in the air, and you shrug. You furiously wipe at your eyes as unauthorized tears roll down your cheeks. "I trusted you. I let you into my life. I told my fucking parents about you. Do you know how hard that was for me? Do you know how many years I spent protecting myself from this exact situation? But I trusted you not to do that. I," your voice catches in your throat, and Joel rushes over to put his hands on your arms. You know he's trying to rub his hands up and down your skin to soothe you, but you push him away, stumbling back from his touch. "I don't know where to go from here. I don’t know if there’s even anywhere for us to go after this.”

"We can work through this. We just needa talk bout it and figure somethings out, but we can move forward."

"No, we can't." You cry, and he gives you a confused look.

"Honey, look at me. Yes, we can."

"The contract is ending early. Apparently, your team is fucking ecstatic with how things are going and decided you don't need me anymore. That's what Melanie came to tell me before I fired her," you laugh, wiping your nose on your sleeve and letting out a sharp exhale. "I should've fired her a long time ago, but I did it today because she said I shouldn't be with you. It was my last straw, and I thought that not having any auditions or work lined up would be okay because this morning, I believed in us so hard that I was willing to endure that. I let myself make the stupid choice to be happy for once because I-" You cut yourself off. You can't even bear to think the words, let alone say them out loud. Joel stares at you with big watery eyes, but you can't find it in yourself to feel sorry enough for him to comfort him.

"I have to go. I can't be here right now."

"Please, just wait," he begs, and you shake your head, pulling your jacket closer to your body. He might've tried to say more, but you don't wait to hear it. You fly down the stairs, hiding your tears from the girls, and leave the house. You don't slam the door or throw one last comment Joel's way. You're sane enough to know not to put children in the crossfire of anything, let alone relationship problems.

Once you're at the curb outside of Joel's house, you let out a loud sob. Your hands shake as you pull your phone out of your pocket and hit the first number on speed dial. Ryan picks up on the third ring. The second he says your name, more tears fall down your face, and you feel like you can't breathe.

"What's going on?" He asks urgently, and you hiccup.

"Can you come get me, please? I don't... I can't go home. I don't want, fuck," you press your palm to your scorching forehead and try to force yourself to think. "I really need you."

"Stay where you are. I'm getting in the car now. Where are you?"

Ryan and Carolina hold your hands, rub your back, and offer you tissues as you tell them everything. The contract, the fake dates, the phone calls from Texas, New York, the girls, Melanie, Angela. Everything. They don't yell at you for lying about your relationship or blame you for what went down with Melanie. They just offer soft assurances that you're okay, and they love you. You cry through most of it, and they take turns holding you while you three sit at the dining room table.

You don't remember the last time you've cried this hard about anything. It feels like there's a gashing hole in your soul, and you're desperately trying to keep everything together so you don't lose it. And you want to blame it all on Joel because that would be easy—convenient. But you think that maybe this hole in you has always been there, and you've slowly been losing pieces of yourself without even realizing it.

You think Melanie took a lot of it, pawning your shiniest pieces for brand new Range Rovers and Birkin’s. You think you left a bit here and there every time a director pushed you too hard, and you sat in your trailer for hours, staring at the wall and wondering how you could feel so disconnected from your own body. And you think that more was taken in every unwanted picture taken of you, in every headline talking about your appearance or lack of a partner, in every interview question that had nothing to do with your work as a trained actor. You want to go around Los Angeles with invoices, demanding that people give you back to yourself because how dare they take those pieces. You want to gather them in a box and try to fit them together again like a puzzle with bent and missing connections. You want your fucking life back, but it’s not yours anymore. It’s theirs. Maybe it always was.

"I'm so stupid," you whisper as you stare at your hands. Carolina wraps her arms around your shoulders and presses her cheek to yours, the smell of her floral perfume and Elizabeth's baby lotion surrounding you.

"You're not stupid. Not by a long shot, okay?"

"God, why does this hurt so much? I feel like I'm dying."

"Because you love him," she says, like she didn't just destroy your world. You clench your jaw and try to stop yourself from crying more, but her soothing presence around you is enough for you to break. "You love him, and he loves you, and it's not enough to change anything."

"That's dismal." You try to laugh as you wipe at your eyes, and she nods. Ryan reaches across the table for your hand and holds it like it's fragile china.

"It's awful, and I wish I could take this pain from you. But, I swear to you, one day, you won't hurt like this. One day, you're gonna sing and dance again. You're gonna smile and laugh and make jokes again. You're gonna make beautiful art and fall in love with the way leaves fall, and you're gonna be okay."

"How do you know?" You ask.

"Because I know you."

Because I know you. Those four words scare you and make you grapple with the terrifying reality that they've seen the rotted parts inside you and still chose to love you. They remind you of how much you love them. They remind you of how much you love Joel, and it doesn't even matter because it will always end this way. It will always end this way, but it matters that the love was there. You wonder if it always will be. You wonder if one day you'll hear his song on the radio and be able to sing along. You wonder if he'll be able to see your movies. You wonder if supporting each other from afar is enough and decide that it has to be. There is no other choice. It will always end this way.

Carolina and Ryan let you sleep in the guest bedroom down the hall from them. The one that's always ready for you when you need it. The one with a pile of borrowed clothes with your name on it and the one with the soft sheets and extra quilts. You lay in the dark, your head throbbing with the weight of your tears, and you should be sleeping, but you're not. You're running through every single moment with Joel like you can will things to change. He fucked up. You both did. There are a million things you would change or take back, but Jesus Christ, were you happy.

You shake the tears out of your eyes and reach for your phone, ready to mindlessly scroll through social media until you feel the tiniest bit better. However, your email inbox flashes with an unopened message before you can get to Instagram. You furrow your brows and open the app to see an email from Melanie. You open it out of habit and almost immediately sit up in bed.

From: Melanie Lundquist

Subject Line: Opportunity

Pike's assistant reached out since I'm your last manager on record. The role's written specifically for you, so it's yours, without a doubt. Don't say I never did anything for you.

-Mel

Attachment: THE_BEGINNING_OF_THE_END_R.PIKE

Richard Pike wrote you a role. An Oscar-winning producer wrote you a role. You immediately open the document and begin reading. You really should be asleep, especially after the day you've had with reshoots, but you can't stop devouring the words. It's about a young woman dealing with the survivor's guilt of living through a terrorist attack, mental health, and substance abuse issues. She's angry, sad, and hard to love at times, but she's also so fucking funny and caring. She's dynamic and heartbreaking and raw. She's everything you've ever wanted in a role.

You stay up reading and crying over her story, feeling her pain so deep in your heart that it hurts. When you get to the end of the script, the sun is slowly rising, and you're almost certain that you'll die of dehydration, but you don't care. You find Pike's assistant's email address and tell her you need this role. Surprisingly, she writes back not even ten minutes later despite it being almost six in the morning.

Happy to hear it. Mr. Pike will produce the movie, but Mrs. Liliah Hanover will be directing and working with you directly. I will pass the message along to her team. Shooting begins at the beginning of next month in Ireland. The expected film time is six-twelve months, and housing will be provided upon arrival. Are you still interested?

For some reason, you type back a single, enthusiastic "yes!" before locking your phone and falling asleep for fifteen hours.

#one for the money two for the show #rockstar!joel #tlou au #the last of us au #the last of us #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #the last of us x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller the last of us #the last of us hbo

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nose-coffee · 8 months

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Harrow the Ninth Eye Colour/Descriptor Guide (Updated)

(Key: CH stands for Chapter; pg. stands for page; PR stands for Prologue; EP stands for Epilogue; EPI stands for Epiparados)

(Gideon the Ninth Guide) (Nona the Ninth Guide)

For more immediate, in-depth reference, the quotes themselves have been transcribed below the cut.

All quoted page numbers are per the paperback copy of the book. Quotes are (mostly) in order of frequency, but some characters are grouped together because I don't want to separate them.

Ianthe (27 Entries):

John (24 Entries):

Mercymorn (15 Entries):

Alecto/Gideon (14 Entries):

Ortus (10 Entries):

Augustine (6 Entries):

Harrow (6 Entries):

G1deon, Pyrrha, & Cytherea (4 Entries Each):

Camilla (3 Entries), Palamedes, and Dulcie (4 Entries Each):

Magnus & Abigail (2 & 5 Entries Respectively):

Characters With Only 1 Entry Each:

(SILAS) “He looked at her: from their distance of about five bodies apart his eyes were umbrous in his white and stricken face.” - Chapter 26, pg. 237

(CORONA) “Ianthe Tridentarius’s features stared out of Coronabeth’s face—an aurora of a face, with deep lustrous skin and burnished hair, and eyes of genuine violet, like plums.” - Chapter 34, pg. 318

(JUDITH) “It was still the Cohort captain who silently approached, her dark eyes cold and level…” - Chapter 34, pg. 321

(TEACHER) “He caught her gaze on the bottle, and his very blue eyes twinkled a little madly…” - Chapter 35, pg. 328

(NONIUS) “His dark eyes were bloodshot, his hair was matted, and his split lip was swelling up.” - Chapter 49, pg. 454

#tlt #the locked tomb #my post #fuck off lou #htn #harrow the ninth #harrowhark nonagesimus #gideon nav #ianthe tridentarius #john gaius #mercymorn the first #augustine the first #gideon the first #alecto tlt #tlt data collection #data collection is my passion #pyrrha dve #ortus nigenad

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pikahlua · 8 months

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[MASTERPOST] My Hero Academia Spoilers/Manga Translations Part 2

Continued from Part 1 here.

Ch. 359

Ch. 358

Ch. 357

Ch. 356

Ch. 355

Ch. 354

Ch. 353

Ch. 352 (full chapter)

Ch. 352

Ch. 351

Ch. 350

Ch. 349

Ch. 348 (clarification on Izuku’s response to Toga)

Ch. 348 (first three pages complete)

Ch. 348

Ch. 347

Ch. 346

Ch. 345

Ch. 344

Ch. 343 (full chapter)

Ch. 343

Ch. 342

Ch. 341 (first six pages)

Ch. 340

Ch. 338

Ch. 337

Ch. 336 Part 1

Ch. 336 Part 2

Ch. 336: The MHA 336 leak(???) translated

Ch. 335

Ch. 334

Ch. 333

Ch. 332

Ch. 330

Ch. 329

Ch. 327 (but only the first three pages)

Ch. 326

Ch. 325

Ch. 324

Ch. 322: What Katsuki needs to say

Ch. 322

Ch. 321

Ch. 320

Ch. 319

Ch. 318 Part 1

Ch. 318 Part 2

Ch. 318 Part 3

Ch. 310 Translation Notes

Ch. 302 Translation Notes

Ch. 290-291 Dabi’s broadcast translation

Ch. 284 Translation Notes

#mha manga translations #mha spoilers #my hero academia leak translations #anime only friendly #linguistics fun #masterpost #meta index

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real-time-twilight · 11 months

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Eclipse in Real Time

June 8th, 2006 (Thursday)

Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous 🌔

🌄 Sunrise: 5:16 AM

🌅 Sunset : 9:16 PM

Eclipse, Ch. 14 ("Declaration") {From Pg 318, line 17}, Ch. 15 ("Wager")

1:20 PM (Approx.) - Edward drops Bella off at the treaty line where a tired Jacob picks her up and drives her to his house

1:28 PM (Approx.) - at the Blacks' house Jake and Bella watch tv; Jake explains that Sam has the pack running double shifts, despite the Cullens also running surveillance in the area for threats; Bella invites Jacob to Alice's graduation party

1:33 PM (Approx.) - Jake falls asleep; Bella contemplates her future and possible marriage to Edward

4:45 PM (Approx.) - Jacob wakes from his nap and laments that he slept truth so much of their time together; Jake suggests they take a walk, and Bella notices that he seems agitated

4:50 PM (Approx.) - Jacob officially confesses his love to Bella; Bella repeats that though she loves Jacob and wants him in her life, she is not in love with him

4:55 PM (Approx.) - Jacob kisses Bella; Bella punches Jacob in the face, breaking her hand

4:57 PM (Approx.) - An unfazed Jacob drives an incensed Bella home

5:15 PM (Approx.) - Jacob and Bella arrive at Charlie's House; Bella ices her hand while Jacob blithely informs Charlie that she broke it punching him after he, Jacob, kissed her without consent; Bella calls Edward and apprises him of the situation

5:18 PM (Approx.) - Edward arrives and examines Bella's hand; Bella is irritated at Charlie's less-than-unbiased handling of the situation

5:30 PM (Approx.) - Edward helps Bella to his car so he can take her to Carlisle; Edward warns Jacob that if he ever kisses Bella without consent again, he will break Jacob's jaw for her.

5:37 PM (Approx.) - Edward and Bella meet Emmett and Rosalie in the Cullens garage; Bella informs a delighted Emmett that she broke her hand punching a werewolf; Rosalie lets slip mention of a bet between Jasper and Emmett regarding how many humans Bella will kill in her newborn year

5:40 PM (Approx.) - Carlisle examines Bella's hand and Bella worries about what it will be like to experience Newborn bloodlust

#twilight saga #twilight renaissance #bella swan #real time twilight #jacob black #charlie swan #edward cullen #emmett cullen #rosalie hale #eclipse 🧣#eclipse in real time 🧣#eclipse twilight #twilight saga: eclipse

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class1akids · 1 year

Note

Is bakugo gonna appear at the end or before the end ? I'm so excited to see deku's wanting to protect everyone's smile scene ^^!

The next episode is called "Friend" which is the title of Ch 319. The Bakugou cliff-hanger is the end of Ch 318.

So I think we will see the mansion scene from the end of 316 (which will be probably the intro), Ch 317 when he ditches All Might, Ch 318 with the montage of everyone's smile and Bakugou arriving and at least a good chunk of Ch 319 when the kids decide to come after him.

At this pace, I'm guessing there will be no extra scenes for Deku's solo wandering like many hoped and no extra scenes with class a either (which is something I was hoping for).

Then I guess 320-322 (Class A vs OFA + Bakugou apology) will be Ep 23

323-325 (Uraraka and return to UA) will be Ep 24

326-329 (All Might & Stain + Bath chapter) will be Ep 25 with a teaser of Star at the end

I'm looking forward to it.

#c1a asks

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theetwinkleboy · 2 months

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ch 6 | ch 318

#a lesson learned #early and often #midoriya izuku #tt reads bnha

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rainbowsky · 1 year

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I posted 2,523 times in 2022

1,768 posts created (70%)

755 posts reblogged (30%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@accio-victuuri

@rainbowsky

@significanceofmoths

@potteresque-ire

I tagged 2,509 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#ask - 684 posts

#wang yibo - 628 posts

#xiao zhan - 608 posts

#devastating dd - 318 posts

#chongqing beauty - 276 posts

#the mysteries of yizhan - 225 posts

#adorkable gg - 154 posts

#sdoc5 - 141 posts

#ggdd forever - 129 posts

#bjyx - 111 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#thinking how sad it is that people rehearsing how to speak to each other in order to not look like an idiot is a trope in tv dramas

My Top Posts in 2022:

So I see a lot of bjyx saying things like GG denies all the rumors with li Qin and him dating and all the others but when it comes to DD he doesn’t do that so that automatically means something but in a county like CH it’s very hard for them to deny openly like this a same sex rumor about themselves especially how popular they are now so of course they would never do that even if there were rumors about them dating. And especially now with all the things that are changing there and them wanting to promote even more boy/girl romance and kinds stuff so it wouldn’t be in their best interest to deny them dating so openly like that…

And I just want to know what your thoughts are on the whole thing. Thank you 😊

What do I think, Anon? I think that this logic is so thoroughly contorted that it has a promising career with Cirque du Soleil. 😅

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

See the full post

240 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

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251 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

DD was pictured promoting Yuehua's blind box figurines, and now the supertopics are full of hilarious memes fans have made from the photo. 😅

See the full post

305 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

This clip on DD's dancing recently went viral on Douyin.

320 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

323 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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synchronousemma · 2 years

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24th September: Harriet marries

Read the post and comment on WordPress

Read: Vol. 3, ch. 19 [55]; p. 318 (“Before the end of September” to “waiting for November”).

Context

Emma attends the wedding of Harriet Smith and Robert Martin. Jane has returned to the Campbells in anticipation of a November wedding.

We know that this occurs “[b]efore the end of September” (p. 318); Emma's wedding, which takes place before "the end of the first week in November" (ibid.), is to occur "within a month" (vol. 3, ch. 19 [55]; p. 319).

Readings and Interpretations

Comic Comfort

By the time that Emma at last attends Harriet’s wedding, it is an event that she has imagined occurring with no fewer than three men other than Harriet’s bridegroom!

A few critics point out that Harriet’s and Jane’s marriages are necessary for Emma’s tranquility. Barbara Thaden writes that the “fact that Jane Fairfax marries at all could be seen as a ‘containment strategy’ whereby Austen diffuses ‘those impulses toward the future and toward radical change’ (Jameson 193) by those who feel Austen is basically an apologist for the class structure. However, it is also an essential plot element, like Harriet’s marriage, because it is essential for Emma’s peace of mind in her ‘best of all possible worlds’” (p. 59). Wayne C. Booth argues that the comic nature of the novel depends on Emma’s mistakes causing no lasting misery:

The delightful denouement [Emma’s marriage to Knightley] is […] what we want not only because it is a supremely good thing for Emma, but because it is a supremely comic outcome of Emma’s profound misunderstanding of herself and of the human condition. The other major resolution of the work—Harriet’s marriage with her farmer—reinforces this interpretation. Emma’s sin against Harriet has been something far worse than the mere meddling of a busy- body. To destroy Harriet’s chances for happiness—chances that depend entirely on her marriage—is as close to viciousness as any author could dare to take a heroine designed to be loved. We can laugh with Emma at this mistake [vol. 3, ch. 18 [54]] only because Harriet’s chance for happiness is restored. (p. 112)

Race at the Finish Michael Kramp, you may recall, argues that Harriet’s generative, reproductive whiteness is contrasted with the racialization of the “transient Romani” (p. 159). Therefore, the “union of Harriet and Robert Martin becomes a key element in Emma’s depiction of the post-Revolutionary project to solidify the state, safe guard its culture, and construct a ‘national’ race” (p. 161):

Austen depicts Harriet as an admirer, but she is more importantly a beloved. Like a woman of courtly love, she has fascinated and garnered the pursuit of many throughout the novel, but instead of becoming a lady, she is assigned the life of a farmer’s wife. The novelist presents her as a willing participant in this traditional agrarian existence, and Emma now joins Mr. Knightley in extending her support for Harriet’s marital future because it promises “security, stability, and improvement.” The heroine’s language certainly refers to her project’s future life, but it also reminds us of Harriet’s importance to the prosperity of the nation; she will now become a useful and reproductive resource of the state. […] Harriet’s marriage to Robert Martin promotes the production of the next generation’s native labor force, but it also fulfills Emma and Knightley’s romance schemes, sustains Donwell’s nostalgic relationship with the English (agri)culture of the Abbey-Mill Farm, and helps preserve the ostensibly national identity of England’s race.

[...] She is no longer simply a “natural” daughter of Highbury extending her stay at Mrs. Goddard’s school; she is now secure and involved as a reproductive citizen. The village is now certain that she will neither perpetuate the cycle of illegitimacy […] nor assume a “useless” nomadic lifestyle akin to that of the gypsies. Austen’s use of the migratory gypsies as the quintessential alien and presumably useless dark race against which to juxtapose Harriet ultimately helps solidify the young woman’s civic function as a bearer of England—its race and its culture. (pp. 161–2)

Harriet’s exclusion from Hartfield, then, is not an “unmerited punishment” (Seeber p. 45, qtd. in Kramp p. 161): she “may be positioned outside of the contented village, but her marital placement actually facilitates her inclusion in both the local and national community” (ibid.).

This marriage does, however, signal the death knell for the possibility of intimacy which Emma has had to “labor to safeguard” through attempts to bolster Harriet’s “status” (Chico, n.p.). Some critics point out the tenuous nature of female friendship in Emma: per Tita Chico, women may only “have intimacy with each other if it is socially sanctioned. Without a coordination of rank and roles, intimacy between women is impossible” (n.p.). Therefore

Harriet Smith, an unmarried parlour-boarder at Mrs.Goddard’s school, may be an intimate of Emma Woodhouse, but Harriet Martin, the wife of a farmer, may not. Marriage into a farmer’s family, that most middling of sorts, would render Harriet socially invisible to Emma. Not poor enough to warrant this Lady Bountiful’s charity, nor of a rank high enough to deserve her intimacy, Harriet is fated to a future that disrupts this cherished intimacy. Near the novel’s conclusion, Emma finally admits that her “intimacy” with the new Mrs. Martin “must sink” […]. (n.p.)

Jane Fairfax? Jane Fairfax!

At this point in the novel, the community in Highbury is aware that Jane’s projections of future misery as a governess, at the time that she spoke them, were deliberate lies; Tara Wallace points out that, by “portraying herself as trapped in a life of deprivation, in a future without prospects or hope, Jane “replicates Frank’s deliberately misleading performance as Emma’s lover” (p. 94). However,

Because Jane Fairfax has been construed as a romantic heroine by Highbury and by the text, she is not held accountable for these untruths. Nor is she blamed for her petty rudenesses to Emma, Emma herself articulating an exoneration of Jane’s conduct: ‘In Jane’s eyes she had been a rival; and well might any thing she could offer of assistance or regard be repulsed […] [vol. 3, ch. 11 [47]; p. 264]. If we take as authoritative the text’s stated view of Jane as formulated by Knightley and ultimately by Emma herself, we read her as almost unflawed; if, on the other hand, we choose to do a less romantic reading of Jane, the text provides ample material. (p. 95)

Reading against characters’ conclusions is, of course, a possibility, given that “Emma […] trains the reader to be suspicious” (ibid.). But, while Wayne C Booth writes that Emma “‘works hard to alert the careful reader to the need for a double vision—a combination of joyful credulity about the love plot and shrewd sophistication about the characters of men and women’ [The Company We Keep: An Ethics of Fiction (1988), p. 432],” Wallace disagrees. “Booth’s language posits a happy ending for readers: [...] We will be romantic and cynical at the same time, and we will accept authoritative mediation of reality even as we question authorial manipulations” (ibid.). Wallace, however, holds that Emma “disallows such a reassuring view of cooperation between narrator and reader even as it asserts a kind of authoritative closure. Contradictions and inconsistencies in the last chapters point to continuing gaps even as the narrative tidily pairs off lovers and explains mysteries” (ibid.). At several points, these contradictions must be glossed over to tie up loose ends:

[C]ontentment and closure come only by repressing knowledge, by erasing or trivializing the past. Harriet obliterates memories of her earlier infatuations; Jane Fairfax cannot ‘bear such recollections’ [vol. 3, ch. 18 [54]; p. 316] as will revive her past indiscretions; Emma herself urges that she and Jane ‘forgive each other at once’ [ibid., ch. 16 [54]; p. 302] and watches Harriet wed ‘with so complete a satisfaction, as no remembrances, even connected with Mr Elton as he stood before them, could impair.—Perhaps, indeed, at that time she scarcely saw Mr Elton, but as the clergyman whose blessing at the altar might next fall on herself [ibid., ch. 19 [55]; p. 318]. Such convenient amnesia may be necessary to ‘the perfect happiness of the union’ [ibid., p. 319], but it cannot serve as a model for reading because only the most inept reader forgets ‘the system of hypocrisy and deceit’ [ibid., ch. 11 [47]; p. 262] practised by a narrator who holds all the cards. (pp. 95–6)

Ultimately, Wallace argues, suspicion is called for. “At the end of multiple rereadings of Emma, this reader finds the best clue to reading the text on its first page: that is, to stop depending on authorial interventions, ‘highly esteeming [Miss Austen’s] judgement, but directed chiefly by [my] own’ [vol. 1, ch. 1; p. 1]” (p. 96).

Discussion Questions

How do you think readers are “meant” to feel about the three marriages that close the novel? Is there any room for interpretations that conflict with those supported by a didactic marriage plot?

Is there any significance to the fact that Harriet’s and Robert Martin’s wedding occurs before the Jane-Frank and the Emma-Knightley weddings?

Bibliography

Austen, Jane. Emma (Norton Critical Edition). 3rd ed. Ed. Stephen M. Parrish. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, [1815] 2000.

Booth, Wayne C. “Point of View and the Control of Distance in Emma.” Nineteenth-Century Fiction 16.2 (September 1961), pp. 95–116. Repr. in The Rhetoric of Fiction. 2nd Ed. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1983, pp. 243–66.

Chico, Tita. “The Intimacy of Re-Reading Emma.” Persuasions 25 (2003), pp. 205–12.

Jameson, Fredric. The Political Unconscious. Ithaca: Cornell University Press (1981).

Kramp, Michael. “The Woman, the Gypsies, and England: Harriet Smith’s National Role.” College Literature 31.1 (Winter 2004), pp. 147–68. DOI: 10.1353/lit.2004.0008.

Seeber, Barbara K. General Consent in Jane Austen: A Study in Dialogism. Montreal: McGill-Queen’s University Press (2000).

Thaden, Barbara Z. “Figure and Ground: The Receding Heroine in Jane Austen’s Emma.” South Atlantic Review 55.1 (January 1990), pp. 47–62.

Wallace, Tara Ghoshal. “Emma and the Inept Reader.” In Jane Austen and Narrative Authority. London: Palgrave Macmillan (1995), pp. 77–98.

#Jane Austen #Emma #Emma Woodhouse #Harriet Smith #Robert Martin #Frank Churchill #Jane Fairfax #e

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everyroronoazoro · 2 years

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he won!

#one piece #roronoa zoro #arc: long ring long land #ch: 318 #with: luffy #with: nami #with: usopp #with: sanji #with: chopper #with: robin

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casgirl · 2 years

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The absolute fucking whiplash between ch 318 and 319

#hxh liveblog

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dangermousie · 1 year

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I posted 6,018 times in 2022

3,399 posts created (56%)

2,619 posts reblogged (44%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dangermousie

@storge

@belsmultifandommess

@saltforsalt

@tomorrowsdrama

I tagged 5,004 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#cdrama - 1,936 posts

#love between fairy and devil - 658 posts

#love like the galaxy - 477 posts

#heroes - 462 posts

#real life - 386 posts

#kdrama - 318 posts

#turkish tv - 283 posts

#cnovel - 278 posts

#cang lan jue - 268 posts

#dylan wang - 235 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#last year 90% of people around here did not know where ukraine was and when i said where i was from i’d basically have to explain it’s near

My Top Posts in 2022:

I love that so much of DFQC’s arc isn’t so much change, as returning to himself he would have been if his tree of emotion was never destroyed and honestly, he is a genuinely likeable person. What strikes me is not how much he cares for Orchid (after all, chicken bro is ready to destroy the universe for his girl, and it’s not exactly admirable) but how much he is fine with her autonomy, with putting her needs first (unlike chicken bro for whom Chidi Woman is a vessel for what he wants; he knows she’d be appalled and he doesn’t care.) He spent the bulk of today’s eps thinking she was fancying CH but other than carping, he did nothing about it.

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344 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

So, my top 2022 dramas so far

Subject to obviously whatever may air later and the two airing ones not derailing.

5. Alchemy of Souls (Korea) - inventive fantasy fun with an epic OTP.

4. Bloody Heart (Korea) - visually stunning, grim and moving.

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373 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

This OTP is going on my all time favorite list. I love how utterly equal they are. He bears the spike for her and she bears the cave for him, but for the both it’s not just for the right to be with the other person, it’s for the people - as a way to showing commitment and duty.

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381 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

I am rolling on the floor. Rolling!!!!!! THAT is your concern, NN? Ahahahahhah!!!!

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390 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

90% of period cdrama plots would not exist if China had the topography of Kansas.

612 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #haha i like to reblog myself - well i am my own favorite conversationalist so...

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whackdreamer · 2 years

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Adra gallery plus character analysis

Sorry if its long and I’m too lazy to resize the images.

Our first introduction to the glorious and most sexy- (ahem) I mean. This is our first sight of Adra who was yet to be named during this panel. A supreme devil who came in only to warn the bystanders to flee the battlefield. Quite an interesting course of action from a devil, where we've seen most to be antagonistic towards humans. Except for Liebe who hates his kind.

(Ch 317)

Adra’s reaction to Asta’s anti-magic is quite unique. While most devils are cautious about it, like the twin devils that got eradicated by it, and how Lucifero would eventually claim Asta as the biggest threat in this battle. Adra just says, ‘what a weirdo’. Whether Adra already knows by now about anti-magic via connections with Julius-Lucius (I’ll dub JuLu), I’m not sure. But there is a lack of fear in him for someone who is witnessing a magic that can counter a supreme devil’s strength.

(Ch 318)

While he then mentions how humans have no hope against Lucifero, he chooses to watch the entire battle unfold before him (as of the ch330- it may be because he knows how it will end via Lucius and his dialogue of 'happened like you said it would'). And even denied Lucifero support.

(318 & 320)

He sat back and denied the king of devils, the strongest, and who had authority over him. One point to consider in Adra's audacity🤣 is how Lulu is only 50% manifested, 50% in strength, and has 50% authority over him. Lol. If Adra is 100% manifested, then Adra could've been stronger than a 50% Lulu.

(322 panels)

Ch 321 & Adra’s face here goes like ‘ah’.

He has shown a subtle interest in humanity's power moves against Lucifero. Seen in his subtle facial expressions and Tabs’ careful placement of the arrangement of his panels. See Adra's expression on Mereo on punching Lulu in 321, Yami’s slash that made that clover mark in 324, and Nacht and Yami's bold back attack in 326.

(324 & 326)

He can be quite nonchalant. In the few scenes we have with him. And seems to know a lot more than he lets on. As he mentions something about Mereo getting too close to mana and whatever that implies.

(322)

Now this is where it gets interesting.

We don't get to see Adra's reaction in one special event. Which is when Asta/Liebe achieved true unite and grew a 5th horn. And the next time we get to see his reaction is this one- after Lulu's defeat. A jump of Adra’s reaction panels stopped after 326 and we saw him again here in 329.

Meaning. We really don't know the implication of what took Adra's attention here. Asta himself? Liebe? The true unite? The anti-magic? Or that he defeated Lucifero? Or it did (or did not) go along with what Lucius had initially predicted.

A goodbye note: Look at this cutie.

#black clover theory #black clover adrammelech #adrammelech black clover #whack talks #or maybe 'whack simps' in this case

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