#certain people in my life say i just haven't 'met' the right person

[marycorcaroli]

how the opla!boys would break your heart.

angst with sanji, zoro and luffy.

mary ♡: hi everyone 💌🌷, i haven't seen any stories like this yet, so i thought i'd write one myself 🤗. i hope you like it ! ! 🫂

english is not my first language, i apologize for my mistakes. ♡

rules ; masterlist ♡

sanji.

he doesn't care about you, about all of you.

in the beginning of your relationship, he was so loving and understanding, sanji was always there for you, interested in your condition and afraid that something would happen to you. but then he got bored with you, your every move annoying him, and your please to stay home for the day caused him an uncontrollable torrent of aggression.

sanji wasn't afraid to tell you to your face how much you annoyed him. did you meet an old friend and stop to chat with him? sanji shows his displeasure, and later he's sure to tell you that you talk too much and you should shut up for once. he's completely shameless and doesn't care about your feelings, did he make you cry or not? who cares, he's right either way.

while you're humiliating yourself in front of him and trying to save your love drowning in lies and hatred, sanji will tell everyone that you're just a substitute for a certain person in his life. but he's forgotten how you saved him, how you helped him with everything, how you were always ready to come and comfort him, how you even went with him to psychologists and held his hand so that he wouldn't be afraid to say anything and know that you were there for him until the end.

but now your end has come and there is nothing left to save.

zoro.

cheated on you twice.

and each time it hurt like an infinite number of bullets piercing your heart. he was just toying with you, you were convenient for him sometimes, and most of the time you wondered "what kind of relationship are we in?" zoro kept saying you were in an open relationship, but is that true?

he kissed and flirted with different girls without thinking about you, but when someone showed you the proper attention, zoro went crazy and was terribly jealous, trying to find faults in you and wanting you to believe those lies. you were too good for him. constantly saving his ass and being a mountain for him, but he didn't appreciate it.

even after you got married and started living happily ever after, something went wrong.

when he met his ex-girlfriend again, he didn't refuse her help at 3:00 in the morning and then lie about going to his friend's house. it was so painful to know that that was all he could lie, but it didn't stop him from cheating on you with that ex, a second time, with her. he begged for your forgiveness, ran after you, was willing to do anything for you to forgive him and give him a chance. zoro loved you, but that love was never enough to keep you together.

seeing them again, something inside you burst, your whole future flashing past your eyes. the man who'd made you trust him and be with him again had done this to you. there was no anger or hatred in your gaze, but you wondered why people were doing this to you.

luffy.

lied to you all the time.

luffy would never tell you the truth, would never in his life admit to what he'd done. he was sure that his lies would save you from the danger and pain he plunged you into every time he didn't want to talk.

you wanted so badly to help him and tell him how to get out of this pit of lies, you were willing to do anything to make luffy feel good, but nothing changed. even after you found out that he slept with other girls during your break, when he promised that he wouldn't sleep with anyone but would try to be a better man and didn't try to make amends, luffy lied here too. making you believe it wasn't true and he wouldn't do that to you was another lie, but that's exactly what he did.

he lied about loving you. luffy didn't even know why he even started dating you in the first place, probably as a joke, but the joke lingered and you felt the most genuine feelings for him, but him.

he hurt you with his laughter, his deception, himself. he did everything he could to tear your soul into the smallest pieces and nothing was left of your tender heart, just a huge hole with self-loathing and the conviction that everything was your fault.

but it's not. it's luffy. he can't do it any other way and he never wanted to learn how to love properly, he was fine with you when you weren't bothering him, but at the same time, it hurt a little to see you cry, and afterward, luffy remembered that he still had plenty more like you.

#one piece live action #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece angst #luffy imagine #one piece luffy #luffy x reader #luffy angst #sanji x you #vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #one piece sanji #sanji angst #zoro roronoa #one piece zoro #zoro x reader #zoro and sanji #inaki godoy #taz skylar #mackenyu #mary ♡ #love u all <3

[prettylittlels]

I Can See You

summary: You meet Rachel's costar at the academy gala, what will happen next? (tom blyth x actress!reader)

inspired by I Can See You (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

💋⚘️❤️‍🔥💥🍬💄

As an actress, I spend a 70% of my time meeting and interacting with actors, actresses, singers, directors, producers, and people who work in the same industry as i do. A 90% of those people are just passers, travelers that only visited my life. Only very few manage to stay, important enough to make me care for and about them: true friends. Like Rachel Zegler, for example. I met her at the 2022 Golden Globes afterparty, and we kicked off a nice friendship. And a rather weird one, might i add. Rach and I enjoy playing rather exquisite games: i make her try the most horrendous food i find, and she tries to find the perfect man for me.

-Rach, I already told you- i tell her, laughing without even trying - I've lost hope! You gotta accept that i don't have a love life!-

-You're lying to yourself! - she smiles with me- You think I haven't seen the way you look at every couple we meet?-

Maybe she was right. I haven't had a boyfriend in years, maybe I am a little touch-starved. But that was until I met him.

You brush past me in the hallway

And you don't think I, I, I can see ya, do ya?

I've been watchin' you for ages

And I spend my time tryin' not to feel it

As an actress, i spend a lot of time bring invited to galas and events. Tonights entertainment was the Academy's annual gala. I picked out a gorgeous black sparkly dress that caught everyones attention, as I imagined. Getting out lf the car, I slowly made my way to the red carpet, starting to pose for the flashing cameras. Shouts and screams came from everywhere i went. Not only for me, of course; in fact, thay were yelling Rachel's name too when i arrived. She came up to me and gave me a big hug, as we started to take pictures together. I also noticed that a certain co-star of hers, was looking our way. Don't you think I can't see you?

But what would you do if I went to touch you now?

What would you do if they never found us out?

What would you do if we never made a sound?

As an famous actress, I can't just do whatever I want and say whatever i please. The cameras are everywhere. But God, did I want to go talk to you.

'Cause I can see you waitin' down the hall from me

And I could see you up against the wall with me

And what would you do, baby, if you only knew?

That I can see you

As an actress, people expect me to be there when they need me, available for everyone and waiting for directions. But, only this time, I was waiting for something else to happen. When I walked down the hidden hallway on my way to the women's bathroom, you were there. I didn't want to do anything reckless! But here we are.

And we kept everything professional

But something's changed, it's somethin' I, I like

They keep watchful eyes on us

So it's best that we move fast and keep quiet

You won't believe half the things I see inside my head

Wait 'til you see half the things that haven't happened yet

Tom and I started dating shortly after the gala. Being with him was everything I needed: he's a gentleman, a caring person, a funny one, and of course, a very sexy one. The weeks passed and we were both as happy as ever. After the night we met, the cameras that caught our longing stares published the photos and the public strted going crazy, speculating and giving their opinion about our encounter. Oh, they have no idea.

That I could see you throw your jacket on the floor

I could see you make me want you even more

What would you do, baby, if you only knew?

That I can see you

They had no idea that how it was being In a relationship with tom. The envious fangirls wished they were me. They don't I know that I can see him for what he truly is. They don't know that I can see him discarding his clothes on the floor. Yes, even that leather jacket of his that I love so much

I could see you in your suit and your necktie

Passed me a note saying, "Meet me tonight"

Then we kiss, and you know I won't ever tell, yeah

And I could see you being my addiction

You can see me as a secret mission

Hide away and I will start behaving myself

I remember how I pulled you closer by your tie, and unbuttoned your shirt. How you admitted you've been watching me for ages. How we agreed to keep this a sceret, However, I knew he'd be like a drug. And I get drunk on it whenever he's around

I can see you.

I can see you, Tom.

#book recommendations #bookworm #tom blyth x reader #tom blyth x you #x reader #tom blyth #Spotify

[abyssmare]

Kazui Sexuality Analysis

For the past few months, i’ve convinced multiple people that Kazui Mukuhara is gay— and with the introduction of the Cat MV, I felt it’d be good to make a master list documenting exactly why the theory came across. Primarily to indoctrinate people. Sorry. Thank you @prisoner-000 for helping me with this! >_< ( Despite me initially being the one indoctrinating you lol! )

TW : Open talk discussing Suicide.

WARNING : Spoilers for Trial 2.

Welcome to the ride.

Also I forget Hinako canonically has a name so she’s referred to as “his wife” the whole time. Oops..

Let’s start with the First Trial Voice Drama: “Gouging in the Night” / “Another Night”.

With this being an introductory voice drama, it’s hard to necessarily gauge much of the depth regarding Kazui’s character, but we do get our first introductory to his heavily emphasized ‘lying’ aspect of his character. We also get multiple instances in which he identifies adults with being those that cannot act on their emotions, as Kazui did, because in doing so makes them ‘weak’. Es refers to Kazui as someone with a fake smile, that’s been “consciously crafted to show himself a certain way”, which can be common in those that have experiences having to mask their identity due to a rough home-life / lack of being understood by peers around them.

“What's so good about it? I don't like this.It's just a fake smile that you've consciously crafted to show yourself in a certain way. You're acting based on how you want others to see you - your face clearly shows that you're lying.”

“This is, this is.... You're pretty strict. * Laughs* it's not like I'm not scared at all, either. But I've got the responsibility that comes with being older, too - even in an abnormal situation like this, there's no way I could just let myself panic in front of the kids. Well, even if it's fake, adults need to keep up a smile... in order to not let you young ones down, you know.”

Having to keep up a ‘mask’/‘facade’ in order to keep those around him happy.

—— • ——

“If you say that I'm lying.. You might just be right. Unfortunately, once you're an adult, you get very good at lying.”

“.. Adults, huh?”

Another brief mention of ‘lying’ being natural for adults.

—— • ——

“I... see. It might be as you say. We just become more and more passive to avoid causing pain. Yeah... that's right. It's true that my lies killed her, and even now, I still haven't changed. No, that's not it - I can't change because I was already born this way. But... Don't talk big without even knowing a thing about my feelings, kid.”

“...Nice to meet you, Kazui Mukuhara, it feels like I've finally come face to face with you. Well met, I am Es, the prison guard of MILGRAM.”

“* Exhales, chuckles * Such a fashionable way of greeting, huh? Well, hopefully, you won't come to regret this. These kinds of relationships tend to bring pain with them.”

Despite his wife dying, he says he has not changed, despite all the guilt he supposedly holds for her suicide.

A vague remark regarding their relationship being inherently ‘painful’, despite it being shown that they seemed happy in their relationship. This is emphasized in the “Cat” MV, where you get a better glimpse at their personal relationship.

—— • ——

“As you know, with this personality of mine... I have trouble talking to others about myself openly. I guess, despite physically being as big as I am, I've still got a cowardly side to myself.”

“I'm not interested in your self-deprecation.”

“There's something I'm thinking about now, with this situation... I... all of my sins and weaknesses that I've been hiding... I might have been subconciously waiting for for someone to forcibly uncover them all along.”

He has been “subconsciously waiting for someone to forcibly uncover them,” which implies a sense of relief when he is finally uncovered as a liar. He would not have to show face, or lie about himself.

This is common in gay people who cannot reveal their identity due to negative reception/social status. It is easier to hide than it is to reveal and be honest with those around you, though that relief would still exist.

—————————————————

The “Half” MV.

the title for half could easily be showing a one-sided love— only one ‘half’ sharing that love.

“If only your heart would change, but that’s not possible.”

Here we begin with the first bits of implication, and strongly at that. The description of the video highlights a lyrical piece I believe is incredibly important— as I personally believe it’s him speaking to himself. He had no reason for his wife to have a change of heart, he is shaming himself here. He has openly stated he dislikes himself, so it’s not necessarily surprising.

“Laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me. Is this what happiness is?”

Under the idea that Kazui seeked compassion and love in a relationship, as it’s hinted at in “Cat”, it’s likely around this time that he actually began to realize that he had struggled to be attracted to her beyond face value. What he lists is not inherently romantic, and in fact can be viewed as a lyric about a best friend whom viewed him as a lover.

“Where did I go wrong? Probably from the beginning,

Please tell me what I should do, feelings shrouded in lies will float away and disappear”

He’s beginning to understand that his feelings aren’t attraction to her, but built up on the ideal of what attraction should be. Kazui mentions that his parents would be disappointed in him now— and that begs the question, why? His life was generally exactly as you’d expect if not more from an adult man. He seemed to have a well-off job, a loving wife, and the only thing missing is a lack of kids. There was nothing there to disappoint them in the first place.

“I could try you, and I could touch you, but you probably wouldn’t notice

I understand that this love is out of bounds, so nothing has to change”

After these lines, likely referencing Kazui’s inability to grasp their relationship romantically, he is shown to stare up at his audience member self. I am under the belief that there are two Kazui’s: the one masking his sexuality, and the other painfully aware of it. The ‘actor’ (masking) one proceeds to gesture his head over for the audience member to proceed to the right— and this is where he sees it.

The “Forbidden Fruit” Motif

This will be referenced in both MV’s.

It’s hard to explain the origin of the “Forbidden Fruit” idea, but the generalized concensus for the usage of this motif in media is the following :

As a metaphor outside of the Abrahamic religions, the phrase typically refers to any indulgence or pleasure that is considered illegal or immoral.

Kazui’s forbidden fruit motif is intense. The representation of it through a green apple is something he finds with distaste, stepping away from it and staring aghast.

“All this time till now has hurt me. The scales of my heart has decided to sway.”

Kazui is unhappy. He is admitting to that unhappiness, even being pictured in the MV as this is when he confessed to his wife.

“If continuing to hide is called unhappiness, not even one word will get to you.”

I’m not sure what to make of the second part, I believe to an extent this is her ‘denial’ of his feelings. A fear that this is happening, something that is truly real. Kazui openly states he’s unhappy, and she cannot fathom that. Reasonably so.

“I’m sure nothing will change and we’ll laugh together and call each other stupid names.

So many things I wish I hadn’t known, i’m just a coward.

Why is it questioning me now?”

Kazui wished to remain friends. And that broke her. That broke her enough to which she ended up committing suicide. He was oblivious, and let his emotional side get to him— this is why he insists on the fact he “failed when he prioritized his emotions.”

—————————————————

The Birthday Art

For their birthdays in 2021, Milgram released art + merch with the characters, with flowers representative of aspects of their characters. Flower meaning plays a large role in this.

Kazui has a spiderwort on his vest. This can be representative of “wisdom” or “I respect you, but not in love”. Uh.. do I really have to hyper-analyze this?

—————————————————

Second Trial Voice Drama : “ Imposter Boulevard “

FINALLY. Dead confirmation that the cheating theories are entirely false— which begs the question of ‘What the hell is going on with this man?’ … You know why we’re here.

In this voice drama, i’d argue he’s incredibly open about the fact there’s more to him than we initially believed. Thank you Onigiriico for the translations!

“That’s ridiculous. If you can save someone by telling a lie, that’s what you should do.”

“However… You killed someone with your lies, didn’t you?”

“… Ah… You forgave me, didn’t you? Aren’t you being especially strict towards me?”

He admits that lying in order to save someone is where his moral compass lies.

“Marriage is something that both partners want equally, isn’t it? It’s something you can’t do if only one person wants it. Deciding to treat it as a punishment all on your own… You’re making a mockery out of it.”

“I really am. Ah… She must have thought so as well. My wife, that is.”

“I’ve said this before: You’re a liar. Those lies have killed a person.”

No notes. You get it.

“I despise myself for lying, too. Being a liar, you see – it’s painful.”

“Heh. Then just–“

“So I’ve tried to change! I’ve tried to change. I have tried to stop lying to myself and others!”

“…”

“I’ve confided in others. I’ve tried to be myself! I’ve tried to just be the way I was born!”

“…Hey, Kazui–“

“It’s not my lies that killed her. She’s dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn’t have died…!”

The implication that he has had to ‘confide’ in others, attempting to be himself rather than the masking he has done all his life.. and now here he is, in Milgram, reminded of his past. Hauntingly, almost.

“All the lies I’ve told are tying me down. Ever since I was little, I’ve never truly opened myself to anyone. But in the end, people can’t be saved if they don’t [open up]. And by now, it’s gotten to a point where I can’t do it by myself anymore…”

( machinery whirrs, bell rings )

“I did think Milgram would be able to force its way past that, though.”

He’s hidden he was gay since he was a child, but he knows the Milgram Prison of all things can dig into his memory and force him to confess.

—————————————————

The “Cat” MV.

With the active removal of the ‘cheating’ theory people centrically revolved towards, the introduction of the “Cat” MV was something i’ve been looking forward to for a while now due to the possibilities that it contained. And possibilities it showed, investing in the origin of the couple we’ve been following for so long. Two coworkers turned into a married couple, happily together with one ‘small’ issue. Kazui seems to recognize that his feelings for hers do not match what she wishes.. after they’re married.

“I just wanted to touch, to caress, i just wanted to be touched. So it’s wrong? Shove that!”

“If it’s for the sake of true love, who wouldn’t lis for that?”

Kazui is seeking attention. He views romantic relationships as capable of giving him that, and assumed that’s what the relationships entail. In doing so, he’s indirectly ‘using’ her for the romantic aspects he’s unaware he doesn’t reciprocate. He views this as the normality for relationships, assumably having not been in many before then.

“Love (plus) Destiny = Crap

Smash it, shatter it, bye-bye

That sticky-sweet sequence: Dinner + Camouflage + You-Know-What

Loving Affection (minus) Love

Victim and Perpetrator, let’s keep it simple”

A long collective of lines, but it’s perfectly representative of what I previously stated. Kazui cannot understand what is meant to be a romantic relationship. In discovering what he believes to be one, he lashes out, assuming that relationships are something that he deem more inconvenient than the exciting things that are talked about in stories.

This is where Kazui begins to realize he is not happy in his relationship, and it is not because of his wife. And of course, in response to this distress— not too long later in the video, the green apple returns.

The return of the “Forbidden Fruit”, a constant reminder that he is living a lie. I don’t believe this is directly meant to symbolize his homosexuality, but rather the aspects of it he is trying to ignore. He is hiding the things he knows will hurt her, even if it hurts him. As stated in one of the lines during this sequence:

“All the things I wanna do that I can’t say out loud, I gotta keep it inside and act.”

He has conformed to the idea of just being another actor playing his role in life. This will crumble soon. For both their sakes.

Quickly, the sequence shifts once again to Kazui’s inner dialogue.

“I can’t stop, I can’t be normal

This feeling, it can’t be gratified

This feeling, it yearns to be satisfied”

Kazui yearns for what he can’t have: a relationship where he shares the feelings his partner does. He yearns to love and be loved. He is an adult, far too late in his life ( in his eyes ) to do so. It’d be selfish to turn back now and begin a new life, but it’s just as painful to live a lie of loving someone he just is not capable of loving. This is why the sequence breaks so quickly.

He cannot confide in the smoking he is indulging in to cope, quickly taking the animal and taking a bite, representative of him tearing their marriage apart by his ‘confession’.

“I want to be loved, just like a cat”

And then his wife is shown to die, him bloodied from the animal and nothing but the facade left in the dust.

Kazui Mukuhara and Hinako Mukuhara were never meant to love. But in Kazui’s desperation, and Hinako’s love, they’ve created a lavender marriage(1) webbed in lies and deception— and the only way a love story like this ends is in tragedy.

—————————————————

Interrogation Notables

Who do you respect?

“You wouldn’t know them, but I have a childhood friend. I really look up to them. Sorry for bringing up someone you have no clue about.”

Do note that this “childhood friend” he briefly mentions has had he/him pronouns in a few translations. It is also notable that he mentions said childhood friend owns a boat. And guys like boats idk im grasping for straws here as usual

Is your family proud of you?

“No. They must find me embarrassing.”

Logic or Emotion, which do you prioritize more?

“I’ve failed before when prioritizing emotions. I’ll never act on my feelings again.”

Do you like yourself?

“Well, not really.”

If the world were to end tomorrow, what would you do?

“Relax and go traveling, I guess. That childhood friend I talked about before has a boat.”

Do you regret your “murder”?

“I do regret it. I should’ve continued to just pile up my lies.”

Do you want to be forgiven?

“I don’t know. I do think I want my weakness to be accepted, if I were to be honest.”

—————————————————

Extra Speculation/Key Notes

The René Magritte painting comparison is something that’s notably been pointed out since Cat’s release, being that one of the shots mimics a painting of René Magritte’s very closely— though, one would mark it as coincidence, the comparison and meaning behind the piece actually makes it appear intentional.

The meaning behind the painting ‘The Son of the Man’, or in Margritte’s words, is “Everything we see hides something else. We always want to see what is hidden with what we see but this is not possible. Humans hide their secrets very well.” This is clearly intentional, given Kazui’s open inability to just confess to his ‘lying’ himself- entrusting on Milgram to open up his mind and make him confess to something he has hidden ‘since he was young’.

The “bartender”, or as the fandom has dubbed him “Kazui’s gay lover”, is a very popular outsider character to Milgram due to his seemingly close connection to Kazui. He is shown in both the “Half” and “Cat” as a sort of friend to him— a connection to the bar he is familiar with, and even resorts to in rough times. In the “Half” MV he is notably missing a wedding ring, whilst at the “Cat” wedding he is wearing one.

Many people theorize that Kazui recognized he had feelings for this man, and that was his way of recognizing that he was gay, whilst the feelings were unreciprocated due to him being assumably married. In a shot in “Cat”, Kazui is seen staring into a glass, although it’s unknown where or whom he is speaking to. A line says the following:

“Hey, so what if I said I like-liked you, what would you do?”

This is post-wedding, clearly thanks to Kazui’s scuffed appearance. But that is in no-way you would speak to your wife, is it not? It is easy to assume that he is speaking to the bartender in this instance.

DO NOTE : It is possible the bartender is not featured in the “Cat” MV, and it happens to be a design incredibly similar. He was in the center of the shot though, and that’d be an insane coincidence IMO.

@prisoner-000 : “ The roles he takes on in the play (Soldier, office worker, host) are anchored in masculinity, at least in their societal perceptions. His actor costume is supposed to represent his status as an actor even more clearly. (There seems to be a recurring motif of him as an “actor”). “

@prisoner-000 : Portal interaction addition.

—————————————————

I LOVE YOU KAZUI! 🫡🏳️‍🌈

I hope this does him justice..

I put a lot of effort into this, it would mean a lot if you interacted so more people could see. Thank you for reading!!

#milgram #kazui mukuhara #mukuhara kazui #very mixed on how i feel #but innocent imo #007 #i forgot his prison number

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

You want the bad guy.

Phillip Graves x Fem Reader.

You're at a very private and elegant party, but you're bored, looking at everybody until a certain guest comes to make you change your opinion about this evening.

Warning: maybe some violence, grammatical and spelling errors.

Your boyfriend insisted you need to attend this event, his family is very famous, he will be the next one to own the familiar company so he's trying to prove he's capable of handling the responsibilities.

It has been a long evening, you're wearing a long light rose dress and high heels, walking around the saloon, smiling graciously, trying to memorize as many names as possible, your feet hurt a lot but you're trying your best to support your boyfriend, but you really need fresh air, you delicately squeezed your boy's arm to not interrupt his conversation with some stranger.

- Honey, I think I need some fresh air.

- Oh, yes, Go ahead darling, anyway I was telling you...

You sighed and walked to the closest window, a waitress with a tray full of champagne glass cups offered you one that you instantly accepted.

The fresh air is helping you a lot, it's a warm spring evening to wear that stupid dress, but your boyfriend insisted, you would rather be at home or Walking at the beach than here.

Breathe in, breathe out, eyes closed, just you and the fresh air on your face and the taste of champagne on your lips.

- Good evening... Pardon me, young lady, Do you mind if I join you? I just need some air, it's too warm here.

You didn't open your eyes just nodded.

-Are you someone's date or simply another guest?

You sighed, goodbye to your peaceful moment, you opened your eyes and looked in the direction where the voice came from.

- I'm...

Woah, who is this man, you haven't seen him before in these parties, definitely a new face, he's a very attractive stranger, wearing grey smoking, black shoes, no tie, the perfect mix between elegant and casual enough for an event like this. You didn't respond, you were too busy staring at him, from head to toe.

- Is everything ok? Do you like the view?

- all good, sorry, I'm y/n, it's just... I have never seen you before Mr.?

- Graves, Phillip Graves. You have a beautiful name, Y/n.

- Thank you so much, Sir.

- Oh there's no need for such formalities, feel free to call me by my name.

You were going to say something else until your boyfriend's voice joined the conversation. His arm around your waist, he never grabbed you so tight before.

- Graves. What are you doing here?

- Connor, I'm a guest at this event, your parents were too kind to invite me.

Your boyfriend smiled falsely at him.

- I see, well, I suppose you already met my Girlfriend.

- For sure, the most precious lady of the night.

- Y/n, Graves works for the army, killing people for money, a very fancy job.

He was trying to make Graves uncomfortable, such a pathetic try. Graves smiled kindly at both of you.

- Every person has his own opinion about his job Connor, for example, you say I'm just a murderer but in my opinion, while you're just posing for magazines saying you're the future of your parent's company and organizing these stupid events, I risk my life to make the world better or at least to make my own world better.

Your boyfriend's blood was boiling. Graves was savouring his little victory.

- oh well, you're totally right man, I guess everything is about perspective. Did you come alone or is there someone accompanying you?

- I'm alone at the moment, maybe by the end of the night I will go home with a beautiful woman walking by my side.

He looked directly at you, You blushed and smiled at him, your boyfriend looked at you and kissed your cheek.

- Well, I wish you luck with that, we still have some other guests to attend, enjoy the evening.

- it was a pleasure to meet you Graves.

- Pleasure was all mine my dear.

Your boyfriend literally dragged you with him, he was angry, both walked were his parents where.

- Can you explain to me what he is doing here?

- Connor, leave the past behind, he's a gentleman and also one of our most important investors now. We need him to be happy.

You don't understand why he's so mad but you wouldn't ask, he looked at you with dead eyes and held your forearm, hard enough to leave a mark, both walked out of the saloon.

- What did he say to you?

- Nothing, he just introduced himself.

- Don't you dare to lie to me Y/n...

- Ouch! You're hurting me, babe, leave my arm. I swear he didn't say anything else.

He finally loosened your arm, he didn't even apologize, he just fixed his tie and hair, looking at his reflection in a window.

- Let's go back inside, don't you dare to leave my side, I don't want you to be alone with him...

He noticed some tears on your face, he sometimes acts too violent with you.

- Don't cry y/n you will ruin your make-up! Don't make me more angry huh, you don't want to make me mad, Don't you?

You just neglected with the head.

-Fine, you have 5 minutes to recover.

he walked inside and you stayed there, fixing your makeup, hair and went back to the party, once there you stayed behind him all night, feeling Graves eyes on you, he was observing every curve of your body, your face, your lips, the deep neckline of your dress, you're not uncomfortable, there's something about the way he looks at you that makes everything more... Enjoyable. Maybe you couldn't be close to him, but your boyfriend never said anything about flirting.

You were walking around in a very seductive and slow catwalk, the way you're holding your glass, the way you bite a chocolate covered strawberry, how some juice of the fruit is running through your lips, it's too much, Graves couldn't be away from you anymore, you weren't intending to make him approach you, you were simply enjoying the attention he was giving you.

- Connor, your girlfriend looks a little bit bored here, will you allow her to dance with me?

Your boyfriend's face was in flames, he couldn't be rude and said no in front of the group of people who he was talking to, so he simply nodded.

Graves didn't waste time, he took your hand softly and guided you to the dance floor, once there, his hand was now resting on your waist, your bodies were too close, you were avoiding his eyes, just enjoying the slow music on the background.

- What's wrong little one, you've been flirting all night and now you're too quiet and distant.

- We shouldn't be doing this. He's not happy.

- Why not? It's just a dance darling.

- Why does he hate you?

- Your boyfriend is a jerk, during our teenage years we were like friends and enemies, always competing. I'm clearly better than him tho.

- Are you? How can you be so sure?

- I'm sure I am, just to start to compare us. I wouldn't hurt such a beauty like you, don't think I didn't notice your forearm, or your eyes. You cried. He's too idiot, not good enough for you.

You were going to leave, but he made you spin and then captured you between his arms once more and whispered in your ear.

- Y/n, I'm sure I'm not wrong, you want adventures, adrenaline, passion, love, you want the kind of man who would burn the entire world just to see you smile. And Connor... Well, he's nothing like that.

You stayed in silence, you know he's right, your boyfriend possesses money and luxury but he's certainly not the man you believed he was.

You always dreamt of the kind of man who would protect you as if you were the most delicate and precious diamond, the bad guy who would kill for you, die for you, he would risk all he has, just for you. That's what you wanted. What if Graves is this man? Before you could say something the song was over, Phillip and you went back to where your boyfriend was.

- Thank you Connor, she's a gem.

He shook his hand with your boyfriend and before leaving, he looked back at you.

- Oh! And Y/n, think about what I said, ok?

The night continued peacefully, so peacefully that it scared you. You and your boyfriend were saying goodbye to some guests, both were out of the saloon once again, you started to walk inside when your boyfriend pulled you by the hair and crashed you against a wall.

- Do you think I'm playing or that I'm stupid enough to not notice how you've been offering yourself to that cunt, huh?!

- Baby, you're hurting me, stop, please, I don't know what you're talking about.

- You don't know? I'll make sure you know what I'm talking about.

He was going to hit you, but before he could have slapped you, Graves stopped him.

- if I were you, I would leave the lady in peace, unless you want a broken arm... Or a bullet in your head. Maybe your girl can decide that, don't you think?

Graves was twisting your boyfriend's arm, making him almost crying in pain.

- Y/n... make him stop. Baby, help me.

You looked at Graves and then your boyfriend, there's no fear in your eyes this time, Graves was right, your boyfriend is just an idiot. He doesn't deserve someone like you, he's not what you want.

- Phillip... Leave him, Please.

He did what you said, he let him free. You looked at your boyfriend and simply said «we're done, I'm leaving you», you walked to Grave's side and took his hand. Both turned out and started to walk, when you heard the distinguish sound of a gun's lock.

Your boyfriend was pointing at you, he wasn't right with the idea of losing, and losing you, was frustrating enough.

The sound of a gun shooting was heard in the parking lot and close to the principal door of the saloon was a man's body.

- I warned you to not hurt her or I would make you pay for it.

#cod x reader #call of duty x reader #x yn #long reads #x reader #shadows x reader #graves x reader #cod graves #philip graves x reader #phillip graves

[aroace-confessions]

Apologies, but this is a bit long.

I'm AroAce. I figured I was Aro in my sophomore year of highschool school, added Ace onto that halfway through my senior year, and came out to my friends a week after that realization. My two sisters kinda just picked up on the fact through my friends and my TikTok (which they both follow). I don't bother to hide it, but I don't go out of my way to tell anyone, y'know?

Out of the grandkids, I'm among the youngest on both sides of the family. The topic of kids and marriage had come up multiple times in conversations with my aunts and grandparents and parents. It never gets any less uncomfortable.

My grandma (mom's mom) has made wedding dolls for all her grandkids. When she broached the topic with me, I came out to her. She told me she didn't understand, but is grateful I told her. She still wants to make me a doll with the wedding dress I wore for a performance one time.

For some reason, the female adults in my life seem to think that they have a right to decide when I'm going to get married and when (not if) I'm going to have kids, despite me literally turning my nose up at the idea.

Some friends of mine have done the same thing since I came out to them. Some of my *favorite* phrases that I've been told are as follows:

"You just haven't met the right person yet."

"You'll change your mind one day."

"Your perfect prince is waiting for you somewhere."

(I like girls better, but guys are okay, too)

"You're lucky to not have to go through heartbreak and breakups."

Why do people think they're entitled to deciding how my life will pan out? Why do they think they have the right to my uterus? Why do they think that romance and sex is the only way to have a happily ever after?

Why do they think that I don't want to fall in love with someone and have that happy ending with a white picket fence? Why can't they see that saying stuff like that is hurting me?

I grew up (and am currently living) in a conservative household. My family (aside from one cousin in Rhode Island and my older sister) are very religious (Christian) and the idea of not getting married and having kids is foreign and repulsive, almost, to them.

Sorry for the rant, I just....As much as I want to tell people that being AroAce is so much easier than falling in and out of love, I can't. It hurts to know that everyone I know is getting married and falling in love. It hurts to know that they have what I can't. It hurts to live in a society so focused and hellbent on romance and sex and families. It hurts to think that I'll never have a proper place in this world because I don't fit a certain mold.

Submitted 30/01/24

#aroace #aromantic asexual #aromantic #asexual #aphobia

[manda-kat]

Actually, I'm not finished.

A lot of people (especially in online friendships) who struggle with their mental health put an overwhelming amount of pressure on their friends, even if they've only been speaking for a few months.

It's always some kind of 'I have this issue, but I'm working on it, so don't worry' until you don't message them back quick enough and they send you a lecture about how you must hate them and they're a terrible person and if you don't want to talk, you should just go.

You stop being their friend and turn into their source of encouragement and validation. They post depracating things about themselves so you'll tell them they're wrong. Every day. Every conversation. Something needs your attention constantly. And I mean constantly. If you leave them on read for too long, they dissolve and you're messaging them for hours trying to talk them off the ledge.

And what can you do? They don't do this maliciously. Most of the time they have a legitimate condition and their reactions are fueled by things outside of their control. And you love them. They're your friend. You want to help, but you have no idea how.

You can't say anything. Even gentle boundaries cause them to spiral. 'I'm at work on these days, so I won't reply until I get home' is met with 'I'm so sorry, I'm a terrible and needy person. If you want to leave, just go ahead. I don't want you to feel pressured to reply. I'm a horrible friend.' Telling them that their reactions are genuinely upsetting is worse. They accuse you of not caring about their disorder and it doesn't take much for them to tell you how close they are to killing themselves. They never say it directly, but it feels like they're blaming you. You shouldn't have said anything. You apologize, comfort them, beg them to stay, talk for hours to keep them calm and tell yourself never to be honest again.

You can't talk to your friend. Most topics are taboo. You can't have any negative feedback and if you even use different puncuation than usual they begin to accuse you of hating them. They start urging you to be honest, saying they know you must be annoyed and angry at them. And honestly? At this point they're right. You feel like a monster. They're so vulnerable and in such a terrible spot and you've let them think you hate them. No matter how much you try to bend around them, they can sense that you left the friendship weeks ago.

Things boil over. Every conversation is them challenging you to leave. Daring you. Almost begging you. They test you at every chance. You wonder if they actually hate you and want you to go. They've stopped sending extra messages when you don't reply. You stop messaging first and hope they forget about you. Maybe they do. Time goes by and you realize you haven't spoken in several months.

Whenever you think of them, you don't remember the jokes or the songs you shared or the movies you gushed over together. You remember bending over backwards and struggling to say just the right thing all the time. Why don't you miss them? You're an awful friend. They were in so much pain. It was all your fault. You should have tried harder. They never said anything mean to you, only themselves. They had such a hard life. You wonder if they're doing any better now. You wonder if you had stayed maybe they would have gotten out of that rough patch and become your friend again. You wonder if they ever went through with all those threats...

I'm just begging anyone who reads this to think about it next time they're about to send a message that resembles one of my examples here. Don't send it. Take a walk. Draw a picture. Watch an episode of TV. Eat. Take a shower. Do something- anything. Then go back and ask yourself- do you really want to say that? If you already know you have the 'sabotages every relationship' disorder, then maybe ask yourself beforehand if a certain message might be self-sabotaging. Before sending messages, type them in your notes app and ask if they sound reasonable. Idk. All I know is some things can't be unsent.

#long post #rant #negative

[harrisonstories]

Hey I've been thinking about this a lot and I wanted to ask you, do you think George was on the autistic spectrum?

Hi there, I apologise for such a late response.

You know, I've thought about that as well. A lot actually. I've been told I could be autistic but haven't been officially diagnosed, so I won't speak on that, but I am neurodivergent. One of the things which drew me to George in the first place was the fact I could relate to certain qualities he had which point in that direction. Namely the way he became obsessive about his interests -- immersing himself in research, watching the same films and tv shows over and over again, losing track of time, using them as a way of connecting with people, etc. and a strong desire for perfection in himself.

Examples of what I'm referring to:

"The thing about George -- and we all feel it strongly now that he’s gone off us -- is that he plunged into things. Whatever he got into, whether it was the sitar and Ravi Shankar or the Maharishi, he walked right in and never looked back." — Marianne Faithfull, Memories, Dreams and Reflections (2007)

"George had a really curious mind, and when he got into something he wanted to know everything." — Olivia Harrison, Rolling Stone (2011)

"When [Olivia] first met George she didn't know what George was talking about half the time, he was always quoting Python or ‘The Producers’. He used to say to Olivia ‘Ah my little Swedish bombshell’ which she explained she obviously didn’t look Swedish, but it was a line from the movie The Producers." — Olivia Harrison in Sydney, Australia (2005)

"Maybe there was just too much to do, but the house and the garden became an obsession with George. He found out everything there was to know about Sir Frank Crisp, how and why he built that extraordinary house and garden, why he wanted to re-create the Blue Grotto of Capri and build a mini Matterhorn in the Oxfordshire countryside. He wanted to get inside Sir Frank’s mind and fit into his old boots, and he seemed to want to do it alone. I can be obsessive, but then I get bored and need a change." — Pattie Boyd, Wonderful Tonight

Whether any of this actually means George was neurodivergent I don't know. It's always made me wonder though. It's difficult because not only do we not know George personally, the concept of there being a wide spectrum didn't become mainstream until after he died. There's such a lot of information nowadays which wouldn't have been available to him.

What you also have to consider is the influence of other factors such as experiencing extreme fame at a young age, growing up in post-war Liverpool, his family, and his introverted personality. He was often said to be very sensitive about his privacy and personal space, but I think most introverted people would struggle with that and being secretive was a common Harrison trait. He struggled to succeed within the school system even though he was smart, but he also grew up in a free-thinking household which would've made the rigidity of the outside world harder.

On the other hand you have quotes like this one from Olivia:

Q: Did George separate his private life from his life as a musician? OLIVIA: He didn’t separate anything, he knew no boundaries and was very open about everything, sometimes excessively so. Sometimes he said very funny, but rude things, and when I pointed it out to him, he just said, ‘I don’t have a private life, I just don’t know when you can say something.’ — Süddeutsche Zeitung (translated by Andrea of harrisonarchive) (2011)

What interests me about this is the last line where George says he "doesn't know when you can say something" and that he attributes this quality to being famous. The thing is, we know from various anecdotes he acted this way long before he was famous, and therefore it's unlikely to be the reason he had trouble knowing what was socially appropriate. His mum, Louise, had a reputation for her bluntness as well, so you could argue he got it from her, but I'm not sure that would hold up long into adulthood and after engaging in as many circles as George did. You also can't rule out the possibility of Louise being neurodivergent.

I've noticed all these parts of George come up repeatedly when his friends and family talk about him in every stage of life, and the suggestion he couldn't control it is mentioned several times as well, mostly by Olivia.

"When he opened up to you, he opened up completely. He didn’t know how to do things in half-measures -- which was really positive and sometimes really detrimental to himself." — Olivia Harrison, Mojo (2011)

"George really said everything that crossed his mind. I used to say, 'You really can’t get a thought to your brain without it slipping out your mouth.’ And he was painfully honest. It was an endearing trait, but sometimes you hoped that he wouldn’t be quite as honest as he was going to be." — Tom Petty, Rolling Stone (2002)

To reiterate what I said before, I'm by no means qualified to diagnose anybody and don't claim this to be concrete evidence. However, I hope it might encourage people to take a deeper look into understanding George's behaviour. I find that because there isn't a traumatic childhood to point to, he's not given the benefit of the doubt or afforded the same sensitivity as the other Beatles. People are much quicker to assume he acted out of spite and analysis of him is shallow.

Thank you for the question and giving me a chance to pull my thoughts on this together! If anyone would like to add their thoughts please feel free to share.

#george harrison #the beatles #asks #personal #winston-ramone #olivia harrison #tom petty #quote compilation

[frenziedslashers]

I'm Not In Love;;

A/N: I was feeling silly goofy and got this idea while listening to the gotg soundtrack.

Pairing: Peter Quill x Reader

Warnings: reader uses he/him pronouns, alcohol consumption

"You're going to see him, aren't you?"

Peter jumped when Gamora spoke. Her voice slightly echoing in the hallway of the ship as he leaned against the wall. His heart was racing. A mix of being caught sneaking out, and also the fact that he was on his way to see you.

"What? No. Who? Who am I going to see... Exactly?" He asked, his ears turning red at his stammering. She only laughed, rolling her eyes while shaking her head. "You know who I'm talking about."

Peter could own up to being caught. It wasn't like the whole crew didn't know that he was sneaking out to see you. You were the only person he ever made time for anymore.

"Psh, I have no idea," he played dumb. A fowl play. "Is Peter sneaking out to see the silly earth boy?" Peter jumped yet again. Flailing his arms a little while he jumped to this time face Drax.

"You guys need to stop doing that! And he's not a boy, he's like six months younger than me! Don't make it weird," he scoffed, causing a rumble of laughter to escape Drax's throat. Gamora smiling in amusement.

"Well, if you have no idea who I am accusing you of hanging out with," she sighed, "I guess you won't mind if I invite the silly earth boy over to hang out with us all." She toyed.

Peter felt his stomach bubbling with anxiety. He could throw up if he really wanted to, but he didn't. That'd be one more thing for them all to make fun of him for.

"Why are you inviting him?" He blurted, certain that they would catch onto how enthralled in you he really was. "Well, just to talk. That's all." That definitely was not all if Gamora was the one inviting you over.

Quill was defiant though. He wasn't about to admit that he was sneaking out to surprise you at your apartment. Hopeful to spend any amount of time with you, even if it was short lived. He wouldn't care. Just seeing you made him feel better.

"Why are you so obsessed with the silly man anyways? Haven't you got a billion other people to sleep with? Or are you in love with him?" Drax accused, and Peter felt his face heating up more than before. God, he needed a drink. Or to be knocked unconscious. Anything works.

"One, I do have a billion other people to sleep with. They're all just... Busy, and he's not. Two, I'm not in love!" He shouted, and Drax only smiled. "That's what a man in love would say!" He boasted with a laugh. Peter only grunted. Slumping his shoulders forward a bit while he headed back for his room on the ship. "Whatever," he scoffed, making Gamora and Drax smile at each other.

"Oh, he's in love," she teased loud enough for him to hear. He was sick of it. Even if they were right.

When you got to the Milano everyone was sitting around the main table. Laughing and shouting at one another. It wasn't long before you were spotted, though.

"Quill! Your funny earth man is here!" Drax yelled, a curse coming from beside you as Peter entered the room with more drinks in his hand. He looked over at you. Smiling softly when he met your gaze. "Hey," you grinned back. "God, this is disgusting! You two are always fucking with your eyes," Rocket slurred. Having a few too many drinks.

"I am groot," "It's not cute! It's burning my eyes!" Rocket cringed, rubbing his eyes with his hands in an attempt to make his point. You just laughed, rolling your eyes while you approached the table. Sitting beside Gamora and Groot. Peter across from you when he finally did sit down.

The conversations you all had were quick to turn into banter. Nothing important was really shared. Outside from old stories, gossip, and some minor advice from Drax.

"So, how's your love life going?" Gamora had asked you, and you felt your stomach bubble. A familiar nervousness boiling within you when you noticed how intensely Peter was staring at you from across the table. "Well, it's interesting," you smiled, and everyone was all ears now.

"I met this guy, he's really nice. Sweet, even. He knows just how to turn my bad days into good ones, and he's got the craziest life I've ever heard of. I like him quite a lot, actually," Peter scoffed at your words. He hadn't meant to, though. "Who is he?" He asked, and now it was everyone's turn to look at him. "Are you jealous? I think he's jealous!" Rocket hooted which caused Peter to raise his hands in defense. "I ain't jealous!" "No need to be jealous anyways, he's sitting right in front of me," you told him while nervously fiddling your fingers in your lap.

Everyone was quiet. Looking between the both of you. Everyone was wide eyed with disbelief, besides Gamora. Who was just smiling smugly over at Peter. Waiting for him to either progress the relationship between the two of you. Or fuck it up with something stupid. It was a fifty-fifty chance with Quill.

"Me?" He asked, causing everyone to sigh or groan. "God, you're so stupid, yet it's you!" Drax shouted. More stressed over the situation than you were. You only giggled, raising your hand up to rub your jaw. "Yeah, you," Quill had no idea how to respond to that. He only stared, dumbfounded.

"So much for 'I'm not in love'!" Rocket mocked Peter's voice, and the man sneered. "I do not sound like that!" Drax and Rocket were laughing now. Gamora still looking between the both of you. Groot was truthfully lost, but he supported whatever was going on.

"So?" Gamora spoke to Quill. He just stared, shaking his head with wide eyes. "What?" He asked, and she groaned for you. "Are you going to say that you like him back? Or are you going to keep acting like you know nothing?" She nearly shouted, and Peter through his hands up. Opening his mouth to speak, but then it closed. He couldn't muster up the courage to say anything.

"If you don't like me that's fine, Peter. Don't let Gamora scare you into something that you don't want." He did want you though. In more ways than just sex. He wanted to wake up to you next to him every morning. He wanted to explore the galaxy with you. He wanted to be able to call you his.

"I do uh, like you." He stammered, "And I do want you," he nearly whispered. A sheepish smile gracing his lips. Cheers were heard from around the table, but neither of you really paid mind to them. You were both too focused on looking at one another from across the table.

"Jesus, quit doing that," Rocket sneered, and Peter sighed. "Doing what?" He asked, and Rocket waved his hands between the both of you. "That thing with your eyes, you're practically undressing each other! Just get out of here if you guys wanna be weird and sappy," he scoffed. Making a fake gagging noise in the process. Peter only rolled his eyes, standing from his chair while you did the same.

"I have to get going anyways," you told Rocket, and Quill frowned. "How come?" He asked, watching as your smile grew mischievous. "That guy I was talking about? His bed's calling my name right now," you hummed, waving to the group before heading through the ship to where Peter's quarters were.

Peter stood there for a moment, smiling as he watched you walk off. "Hear that guys? This guys not only got some sort of relationship going on now, but I'm also getting laid," he snickered before moving for you down the hall. Practically jogging down after you. Everyone else slowly lost the fondness of the idea of you two being together. Now they saw how big of an issue it could be.

"It is like living with my parents all over again. Just hopefully Quill will not tell us how they have sex," Drax informed the crew, and they all let out noises of disapproval. "I'm sure Quill'll let us all know without his words," Rocket grumbled, sinking into his chair. The rest of the crew doing the same as they drank the rest of their booze.

What a night for you all indeed.

#Peter quill x reader #Peter quill #guardians of the galaxy #marvel #marvel smut #notsfw #minors dni

[berrypockets]

I promise this is a Tommy Shelby Imagine.

Plane rides aren't really my thing - from watching too much action and horror movies I believed I had developed some sort of aerophobia, or maybe I was just imaging it, I don't know. I've been flying several times a month and look I'm still alive.

"Y/N?"

Yes, that is me. Y/N.

"Y/N L/N?" I haven't been called L/N for sometime now.

"Y/N L/N, it's really you!"

I try to open my eyes. First class should have privacy and not crazy fanboys.

I drag myself to open my eyes only to be met by dark colored eyes similar to mine.

"Yes?" Whoever this person was - I have no idea. He looks neat, sharp in his suit, a killer smile and eyes that I'm almost certain can catch a cabin crew by the end of this flight. A fuckboi.

"It's me, YEx/N L/N." He proudly introduces himself; but introductions are far too gone, I know the man sitting and smiling at me. I know him too well that I'm willing to bet he hasn't changed a bit over the years. "How are you? It's been so long since I last seen you."

"Yeah.." It was all I could say. I try to take deep breaths because in my imagination the plane's air suddenly wasn't enough to keep me alive before we could land.

"20 years," he started. "20 years and you haven't changed a bit."

20 years. I haven't realized it had been that long.

It was a lie, I changed.

"So business or pleasure?" I shot him a look of disgust and he just kept on smiling. "You're going to Boracay, right? So its either of the two: business or pleasure."

I couldn't believe that someone who I haven't seen in over 20 years haven't aged mentally in 20 years. Business on the front and pleasure on the side.

"I'm all about business actually, got an offer I couldn't refuse. It pays well to have connections. I come to the island every once in a while, I'm a consultant for hotels and restaurants."

I never asked yet he tells me his life story. His arse was through the roof, and I could do him a favor if I threw him out the plane just to see if that arse of his have wings. But I chose to be the better person, I decided to keep my silence and nod my head pretending to be amazed by his achievements.

From the side I could see how his eyes would travel up and down on me, until he set sight on a certain thing he found interest to open a new topic on this dreadful flight.

"Big ring," he didn't sound pleased. "Engaged?"

I followed his sight and there it was, a diamond ring and a silver band resting on my left finger.

"Married," I said proudly.

His lips pursed, his eyes looking down on my ring. Disappointment and anger was clearly written on his face, only a idiot head over heels with this fool would misinterpret that look and sympathize for his pain.

Silence was brewing and I knew him too well to know that there wasn't going to be any good in his silence. And I was right.

"With looks like yours and a body like that, you could get any man you want. And by looking at the size of that ring, you've hit the jackpot!"

I didn't know if it was destiny or what but of all the people in this planet, the universe had decided that it would be best to have him seat beside me. I was never the type to make a scene, especially in public, but if it wasn't for the crew announcing the plane would land and everyone must stay on their seats, I would have sworn to the gods that this man would already be dead.

Strangling him wouldn't be enough, stabbing him a thousand times wouldn't be enough, any form of violence and torture wouldn't be enough to satisfy the rotten feelings I harbor for this man.

A bus took us passengers to the port, I had been on this island as it was the starting point of my life, it was also the end and the change. Clear blue crystal waters and fine white sand awaited as the boat crossed the sea.

A five minute sail from the main land to the island and there a shuttle from the hotel awaited at the port exit, and the universe was testing my patience. It seems that he will be staying at the same hotel as I am. 15 minutes of ghastly trip with him seated by my side; I could see how he would turn to smile from time to time or how he would accidentally brush his hands against mine as the shuttle would turn on every intersection.

"Aren't you married?" I asks, as I stepped out of the shuttle. He wasn't amused by my question, as I too with his flirting.

"Unhappily," he says.

I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't. A man who cares about looks and a woman uncontented of anything.

The staff started to unload the luggages from the shuttle to the hotel. The place was breathtaking, from the grand lobby with high ceilings over to the crystal water pool to the white sand beach upfront I could see from where I stand. I had momentarily forgotten a certain someone until I felt a hand grabbed me to which I was pulled back to reality.

"I was wrong," he started. "What I did was wrong and I regretted letting you go. I shouldn't have done what I did, if you could give me a second chance I promise I won't screw up, and I could give you much more than that man of yours can give. Please, give me a chance to fix us."

There was a high pitch sound ringing in my ears, a stinging pain in my hand and as if all the ranging feelings that I had been harboring were slowly escaping my body.

He was stunned by my sudden action, but so was I. It had been one hard of slap for him to keep his hand on his cheeks. A slap was nothing compared to the things he did. Some of the staff and guests were already staring but I couldn't care less.

"A chance is only given to someone who deserves it. The way you looked at me the entire flight and the accidental touch of hands was your way of flirting since then before until now, even when you are married and I told you I was. Do you think you deserve to be given a chance? Even if you did, even if others did give you that chance I. Will. Not.

I gave you chance after chance back then, when you flirted with Gale. When you got drunk and slept with Joan, or when you were forced to kiss Eliza over a stupid game of spin the bottle! You used all your chances and you never got any left since you walked out the door."

He was about to say something but I wasn't through.

"You want to fix us? There is nothing to fix! You left me, remember? You just left without giving a fucking explanation! And I was responsible for picking up the broken pieces of me.

You choose her, because I could never uphold to your stupid explanations and now you see that I'm happy, suddenly you want me back? Don't you think I deserve happiness too?

Do you really hate me that much to want me back and break me again? I never deserved you. You never deserved me and you deserve whatever is happening to you know.

I had always thought that there was something wrong with me, so I changed. I stopped drinking, stopped eating my favorite food to lose the weight, wore fucking dresses and heels to make me more ladylike. I even stopped hanging out with boys even though they were the ones I'm most comfortable with because you always say that people will think that I'm a whore if I continue to be with them!

And I just should have let people call me that; I lost my friends because of you. I lost myself because of you. Some part of me drowned and couldn't be saved because of what you did."

"Then why didn't you fight?!"

He must be joking.

"Fight? Why would I fight in a battle that I already lost halfway? I knew you were seeing her. I knew You. Were. Fucking. Her. And yet I fucking stayed!

So you have no right to ask if I fought, because I did even though I lost. It was you who didn't fight!

You chose Zareena, because she was more pretty, rich, sophisticated, something that I wasn't. And after you left I realized why you chose her, because I was never good enough for you."

People were looking, but I didn't care. I went straight to the bathrooms to fix myself, as I look at the woman in front of me I could say she is damn strong, she's someone I want to be when I grow up. Tears were useless, I already cried for that bastard many years ago and I'm not doing that again.

After fixing my makeup and clothes I went straight to the front desk. Some of the staff were still looking but I confidently made my way, I had carried that weight in my heart for over 20 years wondering what I did wrong, having it all out out was finally shutting the box and throwing it out to sea to drown.

Well of course he will be staying at where I'm staying, I might have forgotten that. I could hear the other front office associates giggling, saying something like how they were excited to work with him.

"I'm looking for Marie," I told the FO Associate.

He must have heard me because he was coming towards me, "If you have trouble with your reservation, maybe I could help you-"

"I'm not." If I did he wouldn't even be an option to ask for help. He must have gotten the message as left going to the other side of the hotel lobby.

"Welcome back Ms. Y/N," Marie, the Front Office Manager came out from the back office; and a dear friend of mine. She was the only one who never made fun of me or called me names when I started as a Hotel Manager in this same hotel, and I made sure to repay her kindness with everything I got. "I already had someone send your bags to your room."

"Mummy!"

A small voice echoes through the entire hotel lobby. I knew it too well that the moment I turned around I see my 3 year old son running towards me with open arms. I scoop him in my arms, and he immediately wraps his arms around me, his head sinking in my neck.

"I missed you, Mummy." He whispers, we only haven't seen each other in two days and my heart would melt on how my son misses me.

"I missed you too, Charlie." I say as I kiss his head and rubs his back.

"I want ice cream."

"We'll have ice cream after lunch. Where's Daddy?"

Charlie then makes this gestures as he brings his hand to his lips and blows an imaginary smoke.

My husband and his habits. He's at the smoking area then.

"Daddy!" I set Charlie down and watch him run towards his father. I couldn't help but laugh as he excitedly announces that we were having ice cream after lunch than tell his father I've arrived.

With our son in his arms my husband came to my side and gave me a kiss to welcome, "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Tom." Like father, like son. God I love my two boys.

"I'd like to introduce you to someone, Y/N." Tommy says, he looks over and I saw the person in view. "Love, this is Mr. YEx/N L/N. He's the new hotel consultant."

No wonder those FO Associates were giggling, YEx/N is the hotel consultant who will be overseeing every operations from the front and back.

"Mr. YExL/N, this is my ever beautiful and amazing wife Y/N Shelby and our son, Charlie. My wife is the CEO of the Shelbreeze Resorts and Hotels."

I gave him my most beautiful smile. Oh have the tables turned.

"Welcome to Shelbreeze Crystal Sands, Mr. YExL/N. I'm afraid we won't be needing your services after all." Tommy looks at me with a questioning look, but he knows better. "I'll have Marie send someone to fetch your bags and drive you back to the airport. A ticket will be ready when you get there. I'll assure you that you'll be on the first flight back."

Terrified. That what he looks like. I'll make sure that his connections get burned to ashes and he gets an offer he couldn’t refuse.

"No hard feelings, Mr. YExL/N. I just don't want someone to screw over my husband's company then suddenly leave for no apparent reason. I'm afraid I won't live up to your expectations as your boss, after all I will never be good enough, right?"

Tommy placed his hand over mine and holds it tight. I never told him a name, only the story, and I think he got the message.

"I would appreciate it if this will be the time we'll be seeing each other, Mr. YExL/N." says Tommy.

Marie immediately stepped in and assisted YEx/N on his way out.

"Oh, Mr. YExL/N before I forget," Tommy calls out. "She's more than enough."

Boracay Island is truly an amazing place to be, and I decided to set my story there thinking it would be a perfect place for a Tommy Shelby Modern Imagine.

[ MASTERLIST ]

Note: Thank you again for the 100 followers. I hope you like this story. Comments are deeply appreciated.

#peaky blinders #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #peaky blinders imagine #tommy shelby imagines #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby imagine #shelby reader #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby x reader #charlie shelby

[bellestarot]

Disclaimer: My readings are not set in stone. This is supposed to be fun as it is for me and I hope for you too.

Yuqi's Reading

March 08, 2024

Right Now

She went through a very complicated period in her own life where she found herself lost, hurt and without hope and now she is returning to feeling good again. I think she is going through a period alone of peace and reflection where she is entering more in her own emotions, maybe she goes to therapy, gets psychological help to work on this in more depth.

Could be a family member or friendship, but I think she feels a little intimidated or suspicious of a man close to her, this person is very close to her probably travels with her or gives her advice and now she feels a little behind with this person but I see her as very connected with her feminine age, I think she is getting good money and she is enjoying her independence a lot.

Love Life

I think she was involved in a situationship rather than a monogamous relationship with another person and that connection ended and was destroyed in a very tragic way, it really hurt the ending.

I think she feels quite upset because even though she has other options this specific person was someone she was very interested in and I see that it was her who decided to leave, probably because was not completely sincere or very integrity and this caused her to leave it behind and avoid conflicts in the future.

I see her as being quite emotionally strong. Because as much as she feels that way, she has a certain ego that she can have whoever she wants.

Career

She is a very ambitious person and very focused on her career. I think she gets in the way too much, maybe she is workaholic because she is very direct in the things she wants to, very focused.

She's working on something new, I can't say what it is but she's putting a lot of effort into it.

Family

She feels quite distant from them and even though they are together she still feels a little lonely.

I think she helps the family financially, she gives them this support. I believe the person she is having conflict with at the moment is her father figure.

I can't tell what the issue is but it's something they don't want to reveal that perhaps involves past wounds that haven't been healed and this has come back to the surface.

Friendships

She feels very grateful and happy for the friendships she has, she doesn't have as many friends as it seems, I mean really close friends who know her, there are few people.

There is a specific woman who is older who she really admires, this person she met during her career and they are still together today, maybe this person has blonde hair or something related to yellow and they are very close to each other.

She also have a friendship with someone younger than her that she really likes.

Future

She will work a lot in the future and I see her becoming very popular because of maybe a song or some project she does and I see her on the throne, she being the center of attention and her balancing a kind of masculine and feminine energy related to her own career, maybe because she knows exactly what she wants to do in her career and that's just fascinating about her.

I think she has a very serious personality that a lot of people don't know about and I think she's going to have to make a very important decision in the future that could be related to work and I see her being quite certain about what she wants to do.

In the future she will get into a dating rumor with someone maybe younger than her and I think that person is quite popular and this will cause a huge thing that will affect her feelings a little but I believe this is just a misunderstanding.

I say towards what people are talking about because she and this person really like each other.

#kpop #kpop tarot #tarot #tarot reading #gidle #song yuqi #yuqi gidle #yuqi #Spotify

[autisticlee]

i'm aroace, sex repulsed and don't get traditional romance or find the need for it, but I still often think how it would be neat to have a gf/partner for other purposes that arent romance and sexual. but it seems impossible to make someone want to date you if you take out those things????

sometimes I think it would be nice to have a gf to do cute gay cosplay photoshoots with. there would be mouth smooching and you usually can't do that with a friend and I don't really want to either, so a gf would be useful for that.

then there's hating showers because they exhaust me and it would be nice to have a gf to wash my hair and stuff for me??? can't call up a friend to do this every time I need to shower. that won't work and I doubt they'd want to/be comfortable doing that.

most friends will end up putting all their priority into their partner and/or family they create. I want someone that will make me their priority and not run off with someone else they start dating and abandon me??? something like that. their priority is cleaning our home together, hanging out together, going shopping and other domestic/partner stuff. they don't do that with someone else or use me temporarily until they can find a partner. so it's essentially dating/being partners. but it looks different from your typical expected romance and partnership.

doesn't matter how aroace I am, I have accepted that a relationship is beneficial in many ways and there's certain things that you can't expect friends to cover and they can't fill. but I have zero interest in looking for a partner in traditional ways that requires small talk/flirting/dates/etc. so that makes me realize i'll most likely not trick someone into partnering with me lmao

the internet seems to call this kind of thing "queer platonic relationship" (did I remember it right?) and you just need to find another sroace person to do it with. but either way, there's no textbook to study for how to get that and where to find these people. it seems harder than the puzzle that is regular dating tbh.

there's that saying "there's other fish in the sea" but i'm a worm in a puddle the other worms got out before they drowned. there's no fish here lmao. my options are so limited that I haven't met a single option yet in my life. there's barely any chance the first aroace person I meet irl will be compatible, or the first compatible person will accept a relationship with an aroace. you know what I mean? any other aroace that's interested in some kind of relationship/partnership and feel like you don't get that whole sea to choose from like everyone else and only have a dried up puddle? 😅

#lee rambles #asexual #aromantic #aroace #im not desperate and not looking. it's just a passing thought sometimes.... #when it would be convenient i think about it. like how convenient it would be to find a canadia partner so i csm move there #and move in with my 2 closest friends #and the cosplay thing. that comes up a lot because i currently have a big interest in doing more cosplay stuff #i know i say i dont get romance and flirting stuff but sometimes when i observe others or see it in media #when someone does flirty things to their partner ans the partner gets flustered like a girl calling her gf cute and she gets shy and blushy #sometimes i want someone i can do that to because it amuses me to see people react that way and i like to be amused and make people react #to things lmao. another good use for a gf/partner #not sure if that means i do have some interest in that stuff or if it doesnt count because my reason for it seems different than usual 😅 #ALSO. its so hard for me to tell if i truly want a relationship/partnership or if its because society and people around me make me feel like #i have to?????? amd im making uo excuses for why i would need it or would benefit from it? so that i can fit in or something??? #i genuinely dont know which one it is and i hate that. could it be a bit of both? i suppose so....hmmmmm

[latibvles]

FIC WRITER INTERVIEW

Thank you to @softguarnere , @hesbuckcompton-baby , & @mercurygray for the tags :) let’s get into it

—

HOW MANY WORKS DO YOU HAVE ON AO3?

Nine! I’ve had AO3 for a while, but I was a Wattpad fic writer for a long, long time.

WHAT’S YOUR TOTAL AO3 WORD COUNT?

147,512

WHAT ARE YOUR TOP FIVE FICS BY KUDOS?

Sad, Beautiful, Tragic, its connected works, and then a Ron character study. Can we tell I’ve only been posting on AO3 for a year yet?

DO YOU RESPOND TO COMMENTS? WHY OR WHY NOT?

I try to! If someone’s taking the time out of their day to say something about what I’ve written, commenting back is the least I can do — it’s a good way to say thank you (I’ve also met a lot of my friends through commenting and responding to comments).

WHAT’S THE FIC YOU’VE WRITTEN WITH THE ANGSTIEST ENDING?

…I’m a sucker for happy endings, guys. I can’t think of one off the top of my head. I know I wrote an apocalypse au Vicki/Hoos thing that had a pretty stress-inducing end, but other than that, I can’t think too much on it.

WHAT’S THE FIC YOU’VE WRITTEN WITH THE HAPPIEST ENDING?

I don’t know if this counts but Home For Christmas ends with the Speirs family trying for another kid a-la-fade to black, so I think that’s a pretty decent end

DO YOU WRITE CROSSOVERS?

My secret plan is to actually get all the OFCs to assemble like the power rangers in the final shot of a Nickelodeon film (yes I write crossovers, fandom-related and friend-character related, THEYRE FUN!)

HAVE YOU EVER RECEIVED HATE ON A FIC?

Yes when I was like twelve years old, but otherwise people are very kind. Or maybe my friends are right about me being a little scary [big shrug]

DO YOU WRITE SMUT? IF SO, WHAT KIND?

Yeah, very rarely PWP, but I do write it. It tends to lean towards M/F, but I’m not opposed to trying my hand at other stuff if inspiration strikes. Just don’t expect anything insane over here.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A FIC STOLEN?

God I hope not.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A FIC TRANSLATED?

nope!

HAVE YOU EVER CO-WRITTEN A FIC BEFORE?

Nope! But I do tend to wrap all my friends into AU ideas and then we branch off and do our own things with it (hello Sam and the Pacific Band AU)

WHATS YOUR ALL-TIME FAVORITE SHIP?

I never know how to answer this because I just Like Things but it’s probable Percabeth. The couple that raised me.

WHATS A WIP THAT YOU WANT TO FINISH BUT DONT THINK YOU EVER WILL?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

WHAT ARE YOUR WRITING STRENGTHS?

I’ve been told I’m good at capturing character voice / making dialogue distinct. I also think I’m pretty good at writing complex family dynamics.

WHAT ARE YOUR WRITING WEAKNESSES?

Inability to stfu and describing settings. No matter how many reference photos I stare at I can never adequately describe a layout of a building to save my life.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON WRITING DIALOGUE IN OTHER LANGUAGES IN A FIC?

It’s fun! Tragically I don’t speak the languages that would likely be spoken in the fandom I write currently (French, German) but as someone learning Spanish I’ve managed to slip a few Spanish words in there, and then in original work I’ve done it before.

WHAT WAS THE FIRST FANDOM YOU WROTE FOR?

Shoutout Riordanverse

WHAT'S A FANDOM/SHIP YOU HAVEN'T WRITTEN FOR YET BUT WANT TO?

Not too sure to be completely honest. I wanted to write the Ron/Daisy/Nix crack-throuple thing eventually, or just the Daisy/Nix crackship, because I guess I just have a thing for hot messes. And also the 87 MOTA OC ideas / ships I have in the back of my brain

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FIC YOU'VE WRITTEN?

Sad Beautiful Tragic is a love letter to a seasonally-depressed college sophomore who felt extremely disconnected from the world around her, and so it is extremely near to my heart. Firstborn AO3 fic privileges.

TAGGING: fairly certain all my go-to tag people have been tagged on this, so if you’re seeing this: I tag you, person on the internet, if you have not done it already.

#poet’s think thoughts #tag game #fic questions

[chronicbeans]

Idk about you, but personally I like Wally because of his hair. I mean come on! He's clearly put a lot of effort into his appearance and I respect that.(But it was mainly because of fan fiction and fan art I'll be honest...and probably because he's kinda mysterious at the minute)

But in response to the writing for the whole thing, I respect the heck out of that! I love how welcomed I feel here and I honestly hope the best for you in regards to being able to having your writing recognized more, you definitely deserve it :)

Thank you so much for the compliment! I try my best to make people feel comfortable and accepted here! Oh, yeah, it is true that he is mysterious rn! If I had to make an educated guess as to why I like him so much, it is because he seems to either be evi/antagonist or in danger. At least, that's what the fandom seems to believe. I won't get into speculation though, for Clown's sake. I just tend to love characters that are horrible, sympathetic, go through absolute torment, and/or fit a certain aesthetic!

Putting a read more because I think I started ranting about the types of characters I love. Also, SPOILERS FOR A COUPLE OF GAMES/SHOWS I AM SORRY AHH-

Wally is just so out of left field in comparison to a lot of the other characters. Like... imagine going from uh... I think it was either Victor Frankenstein or Dr. Takuto Maruki, to a small little muppet man. (OH WAIT NO I JUST CHECKED. I actually went from Sunny's dad from Omori. I just lived my Smol bean interpretation of him. Everyone thinks he's evil or cruel but I don't really believe it, personally).

I also tend to love the characters that are not well liked (Like Sunny's dad omfg I love him-). An example is Dr. Daniel Dickens from Angels of Death. Everybody thinks he's really weird and creepy, which he is, but I find his character to be extremely intriguing and, as such, loveable! Same with Reverend Gray from Angels of Death. They both fit the villain/antagonist role, as well as fitting a certain aesthetic (mad doctor/scientist and evil priest).

Takuto Maruki fits the more sympathetic part, but he is also considered an antagonist. I wouldn't consider him evil, due to his plans being to try to make the world a place of eternal happiness in response to his own grief (kinda like "if I can't be happy, I'll make sure everybody else is"). I also don't believe I love him the exact same way everybody else does. Like, you either love him or hate him, but I haven't seen many people be like "I have a HUGE CRUSH on this man" besides the characters in the game.

Maison Talo, the character I mentioned in my post, is also kind of (not that much) in the same boat as Maruki, but in a more disturbing way. He isn't trying to help the world, he is just trying to survive, and it seems like he might've been on the brink of dying when you got there from the way I interpret some of his dialogue. He's GOTTA eat people, and depending on your choices/ending he seems to feel genuinely bad for having to eat you. So, at least for me, I can't help but feel a little bad. Kind of like when you see a lot of people calling a vampire or something a monster for trying to drink blood, but then you think to yourself "wait... Don't they HAVE to drink blood? They kind of have no choice."

OMG AND I ALSO LOVE THE OBSESSIVE CHARACTERS! I have never really been into romance, but I LOVE yanderes. I don't condone their actions, of course, and needless to say I would PROBABLY be horrified if I ever met one in real life. It is more like... the psychology of what would make a character a yandere that I like. Then, I can't help but get just as obsessed with them as much as they are with their love! I even kind of try to imagine what would make the other, non-yandere characters I love become a yandere, or if it might just be impossible.

The last kind I can think of right now are characters I relate to. I have a crush on Lewis Finch, from What Remains of Edith Finch, because I can relate in a small way to getting dragged into your daydreams. I have seen others interpret him as hallucinating, but I got more of a daydream vibe from him. It was the first time I saw a character that I can relate to in that aspect, so I really liked him! Then, like turned to a crush, overtime, as I investigated his room more in an attempt to figure out more about his personality.

I am so sorry this is so long! I just like to explain why I love certain character types! I kind of have a passion for it, maybe because I love writing characters, myself. It was a lot of fun to write this, too! YIPPEE!

If anybody got this far and want to talk about the types of characters they tend to like I will be more than happy to read the comments. I am very passionate about this sorta thing (ofc, not in a "YOU HAVE TO AGREE WITH ME ON THIS" but more of a "I love to talk about this" sorta way)!

#ramblings #characters i love #idk what to tag lol

[jsab-crisis]

Time to finally rip the bandy-aid off...

Hi, I'm the creator of JSaB Crisis AU, the owner of this blog, the artist of this comic, and so on and so on. I haven't updated this comic in- I forgot when I stopped, to be honest, I haven't touched this comic in a long time or anything relating to this AU in particular.

I've had people ask and are rightfully concerned regarding when I'll post the next pages and if I'm actually still doing this fan comic series. So, here's my answer;

I don't plan on touching this comic anymore or even the AU itself, for multiple reasons;

Technical difficulties in production is one thing, I use mobile Medibang paint to draw this comic and at one point there was an update that became a massive roadblock to it. You see, I've put the entirety of Crisis AU in one cloud file, even the WIPs, and depended on that due to not wanting to fill my storage with junk.

Crisis AU started when I was using an old phone with limited storage hence why I used Cloud-- it also helped me transfer all the art since I use the same medibang account. (Got a new phone afterwards)

Now, the medibang update that messed me over was when they added a premium membership in which you can access other assets such as brushes, certain controls, and cloud storage. They put a cloud storage limit which messed up all my cloud files (mind you, I've been using Cloud files for nor just the comic but for everything, even on my laptop for personal art/other projects).

Because of that, this made the cloud file almost inaccessible unless I manually save each page to my storage which... was infuriating and a huge demotivator. Had to delete other cloud files to at least make space but because of how many pages there are, well, I just left it there.

Loss of interest is also a common thing when it comes to fan series. My JSaB hyperfixiation died down at one point as I leaned to other medias, making me focus more on other media with LOTS of interest AND motivation to work on something relating to that instead of the comic itself.

This is very common with other fan series to my knowledge, having seen lots of discontinued fan works when I was merely a DA user.

Of course, my interest towards JSaB had kicked in again. I still love that game and the community i was a part of for awhile, having met wonderful and talented people throughout the year(s) and still do.

However, this also comes to my third reason.

Doubt. I have started to grow a distaste towards Crisis AU due to the writing itself and how my art is constantly changing. As time goes on, so does one's creative ability and taste and let me tell you how many times I've grimaced as I looked upon my own script. My writing style and comic making has changed over the past year and comparing it to this, I'd say I prefer now than whatever this was.

The concept of JSaB in a slice of life and modernized world that attempts to tackle personal turmoil? It's nice but it's not something I'd make in a heartbeat. I knew my goal with this and what I wanted to do but now it doesn't spark that flame of interest anymore.

Crisis AU is, well, a Crisis. The irony in that, am I right?

Not saying it's entirely hopeless, no, feel like if anyone would take this concept and do it their own then I'm sure they'll be able to execute it well with their own passion. It's just not me, if that makes sense.

Crisis AU is somewhat decent, mediocre, messy, and abandoned. It's a genuine shame to see how things have changed as it isn't the only art project I've abandoned due to the lack of creative flame. I can sympathize to those who actually looked forward to this as I've been met with support by those who read the comic and yet I am unable to continue delivering the series to its fruition.

Hell, I couldn't even pass the introduction arc!

...so yeah, that's why. I haven't touched this comic in a while because I've lost interest and I think I'll be able to rewrite it as the concept is lost to me now.

Now, it might be time to ask the Golden question when it comes to change!

What now?

For start, I might just let this blog become an archive because deleting in entirely would be an insult. I don't downright hate it! Slap a "Discontinued" onto it along with context in the blogs description.

Next? Well, I have multiple plans but I'm also worried they'll meet the same fate as Crisis AU so I'll start with small things.

Rebrand on the Crisis JSaB Discord Server.

All invite links have been revoked to stop new members for entering as we're entering changes. It'll be rebranded as a small JSaB server, dedicated to all JSaB fans. Channels, categories, even rules will be changed for simplicity sake and to fit the new name. This will then be followed with reopened Mod applications.

Ask Box will still be answered !! That means:

Crisis AU characters will still answer Asks regarding the discontinued comic series.

...which would make it more of an ask blog, yes? Huh. Whatever works. Take it as compensation due to the discontinued comic series. Ask box will still be open and I'll be answering old asks that are still there. So, yeah, you can still interact with the characters and even ask regarding what the lore was all about. I (or, well, specifically the characters) won't be keeping secrets anymore, nope.

New... projects?

I have another JSaB AU I've been rewriting for a while now, more interested in that since it at least LEANS to the Canon story... kind of. I won't be jumping to making a new blog and starting a new comic ONLY to be discontinued after an unannounced hiatus followed by a similar long text post/apology. No, I don't wanna set myself up again.

So, I'm staring off with small snippets of comics that piece together in my art blog and maybe make a blog that acts as an ARCHIVE. Keep things organized and pretty. This will inly happen if I reach a certain amount of comics, yes.

It's something, makes me less overwhelmed with trying new things. I've been getting better at comic making and writing! This might be a new start.

And, of course, I wanted to say this to everyone;

Thank you for everything and I'm sorry for not delivering.

The amount of support I've received during the active production of this series was genuinely heart warming and boosted my confidence in comic making. I wouldn't want it any other way.

And I'm sorry for things having to come to a disappointing end, but I'll make up to that. I promise.

If I was given the ability to wish that I never started Crisis AU then I would refuse.

Because then I wouldn't have met such wonderful community. I wouldn't want to change anything about it.

Don't fret, friends! I'm still here! It's not over, buds.

We just keep moving forward.

#crisis au #just shapes and beats #zcart #Important #Announcement

[sophietv]

Don't Blame Me (Analysis)

This one is JUICY!

The song has religious theme and sound like a gospel choir. Also you may see the resemblancce with Hozier Take Me To Church. Letting us believe that she is confessing something unholy.

CHORUS:

Don't blame me, love made me crazy If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right Lord, save me, my drug is my baby I'll be usin' for the rest of my life

So she is asking to not blame her because love made her crazy. Referencing to her lover as drug, something illicit that may be judge by people. VERSE 1:

I've been breakin' hearts a long time, and Toyin' with them older guys Just playthings for me to use Something happened for the first time, in The darkest little paradise Shakin, pacin', I just need you

Line 1 to 3:

She saying that her past relationships were meaningless for her. Comparing them to toys and playthings. Meaning that she used them for something (bearding), but had no real feelings for them.

Line 4 to 6:

She is comparing her relationship now and saying that for the first time she has real feelings for a person and that she needs this person. Shaking, pacing, like someone in whitdrawal. Comparing this love to a drug like in the chorus.

PRE CHORUS 1:

For you, I would cross the line I would waste my time I would lose my mind They say, "She's gone too far this time"

She is saying that she is ready to do a lot of sacrifice to preserve this love: Cross the line, waste her time, loose her mind. She is discribing this love as something that might make her cross a certain line.

This is interesting, especially when you try to see wich line she could cross with a rookie actor that most people don't know...

She is saying that people are saying that she has gone too far this time. Wich makes us wonder, who is saying that? It would make sense coming from her management that are scared that she might ruin her public image with this relationship.

Again. How can she go too far with an unkown rookie actor?

VERSE 2:

My name is whatever you decide And I'm just gonna call you mine I'm insane, but I'm your baby (your baby) Echoes (echoes) of your name inside my mind Halo, hiding my obsessionI once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy

Line 1 and 2:

This line means that her muse can call her as she wants. Since they want to keep their relation private, it would make sense that the muse cannot call her by her name when talking about her in public. But. Throwback to their trip to Big Sur. There is a picture of Karlie writing Karlie loves Taylr in the sand. Mispelling her name. This line might also refers to that.

She is saying that since she cannot call her muse by her name in her music, she is gonna call her hers instead...

Line 3 and 4:

She is stating again that this love is making her do crazy things. But that's ok as long as she is her baby.

The second line is saying that her name is in echoe in her head from always thinking about her.

Line 5:

An halo refers again to something celestial.

But if we think back to when they first met. An angel has an halo.

And they met at the Victoria Secret fashion show, where Karlie was an Angel...

Line 6:

She refers to herself as poison Ivy a plant that causes a rash if you get too close to it.

But now she is saying that she's changed and is now her daisy:

Daisies represent innocence, and so it's the perfect flower for the honeymoon stage of a relationship when you haven't delivered any real conflicts or issues so far.

Also in their road trip to Big Sur, Karlie was photographed a lot with a daisy in her hair. In an instagram post, she posted a picture of a daisy on the dashboard and tagged Taylor as the daisy. Quoting: Best. road trip. ever. In the lyrics booklet, Taylor draw the same daisy on top of this lyric...

PRE CHORUS 2:

And baby, for you, I (I) would (would) fall from grace Just (just) to (to) touch your face If (if) you (you) walk away I'd beg you on my knees to stay

Line 1 and 2: She is saying that she is ready to fall from grace, only to be able to touch her muse's face.

Wich has two meanings:

lose favor or a position of power or honor.

(in Christian belief) descend from a state of divine favor into sin

Again, how, while in a relationship with an unknow actor could she loose her honor and/or descend into sin, for just touchnig his face?

Line 3 and 4:

She is saying that she is desperate for this relationship to work. And that if her muse were to leave, she was ready to beg her on her knees to stay with her.

BRIDGE:

I get so high, oh Every time you're, every time you're lovin' me You're lovin' me Trip of my life, oh Every time you're, every time you're touchin' me You're touchin' me

Line 1 to 3:

Again comparing this love to a drug that is addictive but also as a certain illicit aspect.

Line 4 to 6:

Another comparaison to drugs.

Although we can argue that she is referencing her trip to Big Sur and Karlie's instagram post.

#big sur #reputation #kaylor #gaylor #i'm your daisy #my name is wathever you decide

[lutawolf]

My Beautiful Man and the BDSM Element Episode five

We are finally about to see Kiyoi's point of view. For those that haven't read my other reviews, you can catch them here. Also I want to give a reminder of what a D/s relationship is. D/s is one aspect of the wider category of BDSM, sometimes also known as kink. Some people are into all of the things listed under BDSM, and some only some of them. D/s is more about power than about physical sensation. The submissive consensually gives up more power to the Dominant in their relationship. That's it. However, it's important to note that D/s lifestyle relationships have a certain dynamic. A Dominant views their sub as a treasure, even as they hold all or most of the control and the submissive worships their Dominant.

Kiyoi - "I wanted to be an idol when I grew up. Everyone seems so happy on the tv. I was alone and they seemed so happy. I wanted to join them. Fans always wave their hands like crazy at the idols on tv. As though dedicating themselves to them. All though it sounds a little scary, I guess their happy if their worshipped that way. I would like to be worshipped that way, too."

We start Kiyoi's point of view after he has kissed Hira and they have separated ways. He is now practicing for a play that they are going to put on for the café and everyone is making fun of his inability to deliver the line "I like you" with sincerity. Saying it's likely due to the fact that he has never actually said it in real life. When he is practicing alone, he begins flashing back to when he met Hira.

When I first saw him. I knew nothing could happen between us, just a useless person. But then I can tell from his eyes that I'm the only person in his world. <- Kiyoi doesn't view anyone as Important. He has been discarded and left alone by his family. Used by his peers. No one is someone to him. That changes though when he sees that he is everything in Hira's eyes.

You look kind of gross when you look surprised. I don't care about this type of person. The kind that just keeps staring at me. It's all out of curiosity. That's it. So Beautiful. <- If Kiyoi doesn't care then he can't get hurt. He is use to everyone not caring about him and only using him. It's safer behind his wall.

Flashback ends and we are back to the practice room in the here and now: It's the first time that someone has complimented me so bluntly and directly. I longed to be stared at like that again and the desire continues to grow stronger and stronger. I didn't know that it was like, at that time. I like you.

We once again flash back to the past. To the day that he asks Hira to save them a table. He says that day when he first engages with Hira is out of curiosity. "I want to know what he wants from me" Because Kiyoi is used to only being used.

Can I trust those eyes. Is he really different than the others? I hear the pounding of his heartbeat. Why? Gross

Flashback to when he lost the contest. I signed up for the contest to fulfill my dream but when I didn't win, everyone left me. <- See that day, he had to push Hira away because he was completely prepared for him to treat him like the others. Maybe not right away but eventually. Then he realized he was wrong. That Hira would not leave him. That Hira's eyes still looked at him the same.

Then comes the moment where Hira defends him. Are people who are religious like this? It reminds me of the crazy fans that I've seen in the past. Hira, you can sacrifice yourself to me to this extent...

It is very hard to describe the relationship between us. But Hira is the one that made me realize I could be POWERFUL and be me. <- What is a Dom? So what is he describing?

"Do you have something you want to tell me?" I even asked him first, but he would not say anything! This is probably the last time I'll see him. He does like me doesn't he. Kiyoi kisses Hira. I think he was very shocked I can't even believe it myself. That was my first kiss! The memory of that first kiss will always remain. It's so intense, like him.

He probably wouldn't have thought that I would think of him in such a way. Hira is kind of arrogant in some ways though he isn't aware of it. He never tried to understand how I felt. He has been completely gone since graduation.

I never really thought he would completely stop following me after we graduated. It was very obvious that he was sincere to me by the way he looked at me.

For all that Kiyoi talks about Hira being arrogant. He doesn't go looking for Hira. He knows where he lives but he doesn't go. Then he finds out that the Director of the play has a little brother and he is dating Hira. Hira is happy! I can't believe it! And who is this guy with bad taste in everything. They don't match at all! 🤣🤣🤣 Is this the reason why he stopped contacting me! He tells the director to invite them to the play.

The day of the play comes. I can hear my heart beating so loud that it's going to explode! My hands were trembling so much. So unlike me. Then he sees him. This is the face that I've been thinking about day and night. I could still see the passion in Hira's eyes.

Hira says yes initially to going to the after party. I thought I had won. Even though I felt bad for Koyama. He needed to know that he stood no chance. Then Hira apologizes and says he can't come. This leaves Kiyoi extremely hurt. He feels abandoned as he has been by others. He chose someone else. Something that Hira had given him the confidence to believe would never happen.

Hira begins to show up to many of the plays. This confuses Kiyoi because Hira has clearly chosen Koyama. Kiyoi invites him to the after party and this time Hira comes. However, one of the other actors notices that Kiyoi is always looking at Hira and asks what Hira was like. "To be honest, he is the kind to tell you that you are beautiful and follow you around. Keeps taking photos of you, kept to himself. Kind of a gross person." "But you invited him anyways." The light bulb goes off in Kiyoi's head. Especially when the guy hits on him. It's different. Totally different. I don't feel anything when this guy looks at or touches me. What I want is...him.

As Kiyoi is sitting on the bank where he used to meet Hira, he goes over his script and stops at "I like you." He flashes back to the day that he saw the rubber duck floating in the dirty gutter way. I feel like I was that yellow duck. Forced to be in a place where none of us wanted to be. Maybe there is a chance to find a partner. That's just impossible. Disgusting! <- Kiyoi isn't saying Disgusting to the duck. He doesn't want to have hope. He is scared of it.

How can I forget about him. The way I feel about Hira is... I Like You! I Like You A Lot! The Director praises Kiyoi on his acting, he finally captured the essence of Love. It's so gross! Damn it! Why talk about love, I just want to see him again. But at the same time I don't want to see him anymore! This dilemma makes me feel helpless.

Even if a hundred eyes stared at me when on stage, his eyes would be the only ones I couldn't resist. This is when we see the move from a boy acting like a Dom. One who wants the adoration of so many. To a man who can be Dom if given the chance because he cares about no one else but his submissive. He is learning that it isn't about what the masses think of you, it's what the important people to you think. If your living to impress many people, you'll always disappoint but if you are selective on who you want to impress. You can live up to the expectation.

He calls Hira. He quickly calls and hangs up. Then waits to see if it would be like it used to be. Where Hira would automatically call him back. Does Hira still feel the same? If not then this will be it. Hira does call back and Kiyoi quickly lies and says he called the wrong number but then he asks to practice his line at his house.

Koyama accidently knocks over Hira's picture box and sees all the pictures of Kiyoi. He now knows who that one person was that Hira would only take pictures of. He know Kiyoi is coming over and now he is striving to hang onto him. Kiyoi misunderstands the situation and though Hira tries to rush after him to explain he stutters. Kiyoi tells him, "I told you I don't care. Goodbye" Then leaves.

Koyama and Hira's conversation feels like a conversation between a Vanilla and a Kinkster. "Didn't Kiyoi say you were gross?" "He said that before." Finding it hard to explain that he understands that Kiyoi doesn't mean it for it's actual meaning. Wanting to explain that it doesn't have the effect that it would on others but not having the words to do it. "I like him for who he is.." "I don't understand." They often don't. "Why do you like him?" "I'm sorry. I don't know how to describe it." "Goodbye, Hira."

We are almost to the last episode. Hope you guys enjoyed this and are looking forward to the next one. 💜💜💜

#Utsukushii Kare #utsukushii kare #my beautiful man kink #my beautiful man #luta opinions #coconuts mafia #luta talks my beautiful man