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#celineblacksurvival
Celine:Reblog if you’re transgender, genderqueer, or if you think you could survive being hit with a 14-inch shell fired from a Pennsylvania-class battleship.
Hart:I’m questioning, does that count?
Celine:Yes, you may reblog this post even if you’re not 100% sure you would survive a 14-inch shell.
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Nathapon:Jesus, these cutscenes are long.
Celine:Mr. White, just skip them. Bitch.
Celine:Oh, you said Jesus, not Jesse.
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Celine:Ugg, bathtime, my least favorite time of the night.
Celine:(turns on the bathtub, rinses one hand, and turns it off)
Celine:Sorry, just had to wash my hands before getting in.
Celine:(steps into the toilet)
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Celine:Giving a newborn a gift is so hard and annoying because you spend a hundred bucks and the baby uses it once and never again.
Celine:We should be more daring. We should give those babies something they’ll use their entire life. Like a nonstick pan.
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Silvia:Hey, why are you so quiet?
Barbara:I’m in energy saving mode right now.
Chiara:Je ne parle pas anglais.
Hart:I can only speak fifteen words a month... A-and I just used them all up.
Li Dailin:My dad got killed by a dictionary.
Shoichi:If you really want to hear what I have to say, you have to upgrade to a premium subscription, which is 29,99 a month with no free trial.
Adela:My mother was a librarian and my father was a buddhist monk. They met on a silent retreat and got married. And then they died.
Zahir:I suppose I see people like you, and I think to myself “please mighty one never let me get to that point”.
Isol:My street name is silent K. Ask me another dumb question and you’ll get kuh-nocked out.
Alex:I was counting to one million in my head this whole time and you made me lose count. Now I gotta start all over again. Thanks a lot, jerk.
Celine:My therapist says it all goes back to my fear of abandonment. Thanks for asking.
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Hyunwoo:Broke a bone.
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Celine:Pretty sure your hand isn’t supposed to look like a plate of spaghetti. Not a doctor, though.
Nicky:Dude, you shattered it like a fucking VASE.
Jenny:One of those “go big or go home” types, huh?
Fiora:He went big and was sent home.
Hyejin:No, I think he’s still in the hospital.
Eva:You know it’s fucked when no one’s calling him a brittle-boned bitch. Least agressive sendoff I’ve ever seen around here.
Isol:You think anyone can think about calling him that when they have to think “what the fuck?”
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Celine: Sissela!
Sissela:Are you my mom?
Celine:
Celine:No? What? The fuck??
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Celine:I have 62 snom.
Isol:Do I need to call a therapist?
Celine:Friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, all have end. Only snom has no end. Snom is always by your side.
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Mai:Next up, the corset and chemise! Sche-maise? Chemisse.
Celine:Corset and ke-misse. I wanted to be a chemiste, once.
Emma:I’m saying schemisse because I think it’s a french word?
Adriana:Let’s just do the chimsit.
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Daniel:Hey Cathy, what’s that?
Cathy:(holding a large framed picture under her arm) Oh? This? I don’t have anything on my house’s walls, so I’m taking this to put there.
Celine:....and I’m the weird one?
Cathy:I never called you weird.
Daniel:I’m legitimately scared of both of you.
Barbara:Shoichi, we’re gonna have to do a ‘family reunion’.
Celine:Who are you saying that to? He isn’t here.
Cathy:She’s talking to the shelf!
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Celine:Hey, where’s my other blue sparkly sneaker?
Barbara:I don’t know. I gave them back to you.
Celine:I only have one.
Barbara:Well, I gave them both back. Why would I keep one shoe?
Celine:To make me crazy.
Barbara:Ha! Yeah, I need to MAKE you crazy.
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Celine:Every System of a Down song is like, “I’m the mushroom man! I’m the mushroom man! Oh ho! Oh! Oh! In June 2003, Amnesty International published reports of human rights abuses by the US Military and its coalition partners at detention centers and prisons in Iraq. [26] These inclu-”
Hart:Not even an exaggeration.
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Arda:I cited this song specifically in my senior thesis on abolishing mandatory minimums.
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Celine:(mid-fight in an RPG session) Could I crouch slightly so I can shoot upwards?
Luke:Yeah, but why?
Celine:I want to try and get both the doorman and the cultist with one shot.
Luke:If you get a crit success, I’ll allow it!
Celine:Hell yes.
Jenny:We haven’t been very lucky though, I doubt it.
William:No, no. Trust.
(She rolls an 18.)
Luke:No way!
William:See? Trust.
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Magnus:You into cars?
Celine:Yes, it was truly a masterpiece of film.
Magnus:No, are you a car person?
Celine:I’m a human.
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Celine:I want to get a doctorate just to avoid the miss and mister bullshit.
Celine:”What’s your gender?” “Doctor.”
Cathy:”No, I mean what’s in your pants?” “Debt.”
#they're both chaotic ladies who kinda disobey their job description. should've thought of this before#immortal soul incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes#eternal return incorrect quotes#celineblacksurvival#cathyblacksurvival#this blog kinda trained me to think of quotes whenever i hear anything funny. kinda unfortunate for my focus#but this time it made me have a thought exercise of sorts about how language works#and how puns are often untranslateable and that's kind of wonderful because it shows how language just evolves and is unique#yeah it kinda sucks if you're a translator being tasked with writing a script or subbing a tv show but language wise it's wonderful#i often feel bummed when something says that everyone has a universal language and no unique one by country#beyond just it being unrealistic most often but also because language is a big part of how a society goes#you have words for whatever's most important in that language you know?#i like seeing specific words that are completely untranslateable as one single word. it may be unwieldy but it's still lovely#anyway i thought about this because a guy was trying to say he was still kicking at a door#but in portuguese sucking and kicking are the same word but one letter off. chutando versus chupando. sounds similar#so this man who was also alone with another guy happens to say he was sucking#i don't need to say everyone in the group started laughing but i do need to say that i laughed so hard#that i felt no air in my lungs and thought 'wow i might need an inhaler after this'
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Arda:Whenever I see someone refer to "Victorian era-" for places outside the UK I'm tempted to start saying things like "Han Dynasty era Rome", "Soviet era Australia", etc.
William:"Sovereign Texas era Ottoman empire”.
Celine:Moctezuma II era Kingdom of England.
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