#cc coma | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

six-of-brides · 2 years

Text

Wretched and Divine: Days Are Numbered

Destroyer

My legs feel like they’re about ten seconds from giving out and my heart feels like it’s going to eject itself from my body. Despite this, I can’t stop moving.

"By my calculations, we're almost there." Prophet announces, sounding a little woozy from the sleeping chemicals still in his body.

We’re moving at the fastest and most diligent pace possible because we are dealing with an absolute nightmare, because Mystic is gone, we don't know if he's even alive, Mourner is unconsolable, no one knows if Mystic is even alive anymore.

"Mystic-Mystic could be DEAD right now!" Mourner's voice is barely audible

We’re on our way to the building where he’s being held right now. All of us look to Prophet for updates occasionally but we’re trying to get there quickly without the distraction of having to stop for updates on the situation.

"Soooo….where are we trying to go?" Savior asks.

"Where…where the solar device was."

""How the fuck do you know that? You're not even using your powers! We could be going to the wrong building! Oh, you just randomly have the route memorized, don't you?"

Mourner seems to realize exactly who he sounds like a second after he talks.

Prophet turns around, showing the map that he’s been using. "Considering that I’ve been consulting this map for the past hour, yes. Yes I have!”

Mystic is alive for now but could very well wind up dying if we don’t act fast enough.

“Oh, umm.. I’-”

“Don’t bother.” Prophet says.

They'll kill him in the most brutal way they can think of if he doesn't talk, and I…we are trying to get there before that happens.

Despite the fact that we have to get there quickly, that’s not…exactly happening. Everyone is scared, and that's slowing us down. Prophet doesn’t have full access to his ability to figure out everything going on because of his head injury. I’m trying to tend to him to make sure he’s okay. Meanwhile Savior is sticking with Mourner.

“Mourner, you have to keep going. Hang onto me, you have to keep walking if we want to have a shot at getting Mystic back alive.”

“He’s probably dead by now!”

Mourner, to put it gently, is taking this situation horrifically, and it's heartbreaking to watch.

"Mourner, FEAR is going to torture him as long as they can. They likely didn't kill him the second they captured him. There's a good chance that he's still alive."

He and Mystic have been in love for the longest time, and, despite Savior's reassurances, there’s a chance that he may never see him again.

"No. No, they've killed him, I'm sure of it. I just want to kill those bastards."

Their last interaction was the worst argument they ever had, and Mourner is regretting every mean thing he said.

He’s completely inconsolable. He’s threatening to kill whoever did this, and Savior has to keep him physically restrained so he doesn’t run off and start killing people. I want to tell him that we can get Mystic back alive and in one piece, but I can’t even bring myself to do that right because honestly I don’t know if that’s actually true.

"How long does it take to boil someone's skin off? Destroyer, do you know if there are spears in this building?"

"Dude, we saw them when we grabbed the solar machine, remember? You and Mystic-"

"I'm never seeing him again, aren't I?"

I’ve known Mourner for years and I’m terrified.

"How quiet can I be in the hallways. Their sight can't be that excellent, but what if-"

I’ve never seen him like this before and hope I never have to see him like this again.

"Mourner, this is honestly getting a little freaky."

Well, he did scream at Deviant. But this feels different.

"How hard do I need to push to stab someone's eye out."

While seeing him behave like this is mortifying, it’s completely justified. I actually do hope he does kill the bastards that took Mystic. That being said I also hope he holds it together long enough for him to do that. He’s barely keeping it together as is right now. I’m surprised he hasn’t collapsed.

For the duration of the time we’ve been moving towards our destination, he’s been carrying that letter that was left by Mystic’s captors. I walk towards him to try and take it before his hands explode.

"Mourner, can I please-"

"No. No you may not."

His hands are shaky and yet he’s still clutching that letter so hard that it’s starting to get wrinkled, reading it over and over again, glaring at anyone who even glances at him in a way that might suggest that they want him to put it down.

“I’ll kill them. I’ll kill every single one of them,” He mutters, gritting his teeth as he clenches the note in his fist. He once again continues to go into detail about how he’s going to torture them, making their deaths a hundred times worse than anything they do to Mystic.

"Mourner, I really don't want you harming yourself with revenge." Prophet says, still looking at the map."

"Like you've ever been in love!"

Everyone goes silent and stops moving. Mourner realizes what he said and looks absolutely mortified at himself.

"What did you say?"

"I-"

"You two, stop it." I say. "Mourner, we all get what's happening. But Prophet's right, you can't get yourself killed over this. Mystic-"

Suddenly, just as I thought would be bound to happen eventually, Mourner falls to his knees, screaming at the top of his lungs. Savior runs to his side, encouraging him to get up, telling him that we have to keep going in order to save Mystic.

“Don’t play with me like that. He’s gone. He’ll be dead in no time, he’s never coming back. He’s fucking gone. And…I loved him. So much." For a split second, my mind goes “at least he finally admits it”, but that’s a quick passing thing before I remember how serious this is.

"God, finally." Prophet mutters.

"Now's not the time." I say.

Savior is trying to console him again, but I know it’s no use. So, I gently move him aside and grab Mourner by the shoulders. “Pull yourself together!”

"Destroyer, I appreciate the effort, but that isn't going to work." Savior looks at Mourner.

"Dude, I understand what's going on in that head of yours. But we need to get Mystic. At the very least, just for the burial. And there’s a chance he’s still alive, but we need to hurry.”

“What-what if he’s not?” Mourner says, and it’s only then that I realize there are tears in his eyes.

“Then kill those bastards in his memory.”

As soon as he hears that, he gets up and keeps moving, this time a little faster than before. I feel horrific for both him and Mystic. God only knows what Mystic is going through right now.

I too am worried about Mystic right now. What’s worse is that I know how FEAR treats people. I watched as they got increasingly worse with the way they treated prisoners, and I don’t know how much worse it could be now. They could be destroying Mystic’s body and mind in a way that will render him unable to function if he ever manages to get out. Hell, part of my own trauma comes from just witnessing some of the things that were done to people by FEAR.

My ex dragged me everywhere with him because he wanted to limit my chances of escape as much as possible. The memories flood and cloud my mind as I start to relive one in particular…

You have to do something!

As I sit back and force myself to watch what is unfolding in front of me, I bite my tongue to prevent some form of protest against it. They’re torturing a captured rebel to get information out of them. They’ve been shocking, burning, suffocating, and even waterboarding this person in efforts to get out some form of information and yet they’ve heard nothing.

I know how wrong this is. This is one of the most fucked up things I’ve ever seen. And yet, I have to bite my tongue and sit still.

“Do you want me to put your head underwater again?”

If my boyfriend sees me trying to speak up for this person, he’ll kill me without hesitation. He is the only person I truly have any contact with, if he kills me, no one will ever look for me and my death will mean nothing.

“Get out of here, get out of here. You need to get out of this hellhole.”

The only thing that keeps me going is the idea in my head that I will escape someday. I’ll get out and be able to fight against everyone like him, who torments people without the slightest ounce of remorse or empathy. But for now, I’m trapped in this never-ending hell cycle, and it seems to just be worsening.

At the moment I’m terrified for the person they’re torturing. They’re going to electrocute them to death if they keep it up. They started small, like they always do. This person wouldn’t break, so they’re trying to shock them now. Each shock is more intense than the last, until they either get electrocuted or they talk.

“How much more voltage do we have?” One of them calls out.

“200 more! Let's use them all.”

Every part of my heart wants me to talk them out of shocking this person to death, but I know that will lead to me getting seriously hurt or worse. But I can’t just stand by and watch this happen.

“That will take forever to load!”

“Yes, but it’ll kill him if he doesn’t talk!”

“Alright then.” The man looks at his victim with a sinister grin.

Now that I’m out of there, I can stop this. I know exactly how to cut off power to this entire building when they’re doing this. I remember exactly where the switch is, I just need to not get caught.

I look around at everyone else watching this. Their eyes are completely focused on the person they’re torturing. If I want to run, the time is now. Without bothering to look again, I make a run for it. Not a single one notices me running out of the room.

As I run through the hallway to get it, my legs start feeling weak and heavy. But I don’t stop. I can save this person if I manage to get this done. Walking into the room where it’s located, I turn it on and try to figure out where I should point it so I don’t get shocked.

Then I hear voices from behind me. I recognize the voices, they’re two of my boyfriend’s closest coworkers. They’ll absolutely rat me out if they see me here, doing this. Well, I guess that means I have no other choice. After all, this shouldn’t kill them, right?

Hoping for the best, I jump to the side and crouch down behind a wall. I don’t think they would look back here, but I never truly know.

Aiming the device in their direction, it shocks the two of them right as they walk into the room. They get shocked enough for them to both be knocked unconscious. They won’t say anything, but the sound of them falling was loud. Within seconds, I hear footsteps running through the hallway, rapidly moving closer to me.

I’m fucked. I’m absolutely done for. He’s going to see what I did and he’s going to kill me, and I’ll never be able to get out of here.

“This was going to happen sooner or later, Samuel. You know that.”

A few of the officials outside in the hallway start yelling at each other, saying that their prisoner got away. That means I did it, I got them out of there. But will there be a cost to that? I know it isn’t safe for me to come out. That and the fact that if I don’t come up with an explanation as to why I was out, I’m going to be beaten to a bloody pulp tonight.

Before I can think of anything, I hear loud bangs. Gunshots. They’re shooting at each other. I quickly cover my ears and close my eyes. I just wish this would all end. I hope every single one of these motherfuckers dies a slow and painful death, and maybe they will with this gunfight out here.

Suddenly, the gunshots stop, and for another split second, I feel at peace. “Maybe my boyfriend got shot” I think to myself. But when I hear his voice, I realize it isn’t true. “Where is he?” He’s yelling, and I can tell he must be foaming at the mouth.

My heart starts going crazy again and I feel sick to my stomach, but I know that if there’s any time to come out, it’s now, because if he hunts me down and finds me hiding, he’ll be angrier. So, I walk out from behind the wall.

“Where were you?” He growls as he picks me by the shoulders. “I had to use the bathroom, I took cover when I heard the gunshots.” He still looks pissed but I think he believed me for once. He just drops me down and grabs me by the wrist, dragging me back to where this torture session was taking place.

I shudder as I see the bodies on the floor in the hallway, eventually closing my eyes because I can’t bear to see any more of this madness. We get back in the room and they continue yelling at each other, each one asking the other how they could have let them get away. I have to cover my ears again, but it’s worth it knowing that they got free.

“Destroyer! Destroyer!” I snap back to reality to find myself on the ground. Prophet is yelling my name, I can tell he’s been trying to get my attention for a while. I sit up, and he asks me what happened. “I couldn't keep memories from resurfacing. This all reminds me so much of my ex.” Prophet helps me up, and I start trying to fix my breathing as we continue moving.

“I did it. I actually did it.” I whisper to myself. Maybe I’ll do the same one day…

I don’t know if I would be able to live with myself knowing that Mystic went through the same things that happened to people there and died of it. As is, I can't bring myself to think about what he could be going through at this exact moment without reliving every hellish moment stuck next to him.

Prophet has his arm around me, pushing me to keep going.

“What are you thinking about right now?” Prophet asks. He knows how this is for me, he’s walked me through flashbacks countless times. But this is a different situation for all of us. It’s difficult to convince anyone that we’ll be fine when nothing is certain.

“Just-oh god, it’s not going to be pretty when we get to Mystic. If there are burn or shock marks on him, I won’t be surprised.”

With what just happened, I can’t help but feel ashamed for wasting time. I have no clue how much time we have left before Mystic winds up dead. A week? A few days? Hours? Minutes even? Is he dying right now? I have no way of knowing, and Prophet isn’t in the proper state to conjure that information.

“I can try to get more information, but..I don’t know, I’m really tired right now. Still.”

While we’re getting closer to our destination now, I have no clue how long it will be until we get there, nor do I have any idea as to even if we have that much time left. What I do know if that sometimes it took them weeks to torture prisoners.

“So..we might actually have some time.” I try to reassure myself.

Other times they decided it wasn’t worth it and would just execute them after a few hours.

For all I know, they could have learned a faster way to do these things. By the end of my time there, they were already doing that. So by my calculations, we only have a few days at most, and it's definitely going to take more than one day to get there. But this is something we absolutely need to do, and we need to do it fast, because our days are numbered…

Prophet

We’re almost there, no more than a mile left until we get where we’re going, but I don’t know how much longer I can last. I’m dizzy and my feet are killing me. I know I’m weaker than usual because of my injury, and it’s stressing me out more than I ever could have imagined.

I’m starting to get my clarity back, and from what I can make out in my mind, we only have hours left to save him. How many hours we have left…I don’t know. We need to hurry.

“Can you see anything now?” Destroyer asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Any visions? Are we going in the right place? Are there officials waiting for us at the gate? Are we going to make it in time?”

“We’re going in the right place, at least I know that for certain now. As for the others-”

“Oh, he’s dead now, I can just feel it.” Mourner says.

“Mourner, we don’t know that. And if you can, please try to imagine that Mystic is still alive."

Even with the urgency, it feels like we can’t be urgent about this. Mourner finally admitted that he’s in love with Mystic and is grieving him already. We had to stop and calm him down. He’s going to wind up killing someone, I already know that much. Maybe multiple people. And while I hope he does, he needs to control himself for the time being so we can actually get to a spot where we can find Mystic and get him out.

"I'll try. But if we find him dead, don't say I didn't warn you."

"We won't." Savior gently responds.

Destroyer and I have been walking together while Savior is practically restraining Mourner at this point so he doesn’t run off and kill the first person he finds. I can see it in his eyes, he’s out for blood and is going to unleash that bloodlust on the first person he sees who isn’t one of us.

As I look out into the distance, I can now see the building where Mystic is on the horizon. When I see it, I point it out.

“We’re almost there.”

“Great. When we get there, can I unleash Mourner?”

Savior grunts, still struggling to hold Mourner, who is definitely looking to kill at this point. Murder seems to be the only thing on his mind.

When we’re finally close enough to be under the building’s shadow, Savior lets Mourner go. Mourner then runs off to go under the building. We’re going exactly the way we did when we were getting their solar device, so he knows where to go, but the problem is that he’s going to try and kill those officials…himself.

We follow him, and I start looking for the route we took last time. I know Mystics being held somewhere different, it’s the same building and it can’t be too far off. What I’m more concerned about than finding the room itself is making sure we contain Mourner while we look for it. If he strays too far, he’ll get us caught, and if he gets captured trying to kill someone in FEAR, we’re all screwed.

Destroyer runs after Mourner, taking him by the wrist and bringing him back to us.

“Dude, what the fuck?”

“Do you want to be caught by the officials? We need all hands on deck if we have any hope of finding Mystic, dead or alive! You think that FEAR officials won’t burn Mystic if they know we’re in the building?”

That calms him down in an instant. I guess the best thing to do in this scenario is to remind him why he’s so angry in the first place. He’s losing control of himself. And that will put Mystic in even more danger.

When Mourner is once again under control, we start moving out of the tunnel underneath the building and start getting into the hallways. They’re pretty dark right now, this part of the building must be vacant. The FEAR officials are probably all busy in one spot.

“I’m going to kill all of them,” Mourner whispers to himself, still having to be restrained, now by both Savior and Destroyer. I’m starting to worry that they both won’t be able to hold him once we either find Mystic or see anyone related to FEAR. Either way, I know he’s not walking out of here without being covered head to toe in someone else’s blood, and it’s just a matter of time until he snaps and runs off.

While I do know the structure of this building to some degree, I don’t know which rooms could be torture chambers. They’re definitely going to want something out of him, no doubt about that. He’s one of the highest ranked members of the Wild Ones, of course they’re going to look for all the information they can get.

“Prophet, the torture chambers are on the far edge of the hall and to the left.” Destroyer says, immediately regretting that decision because then Mourner becomes even harder to contain.

At this point I’m worried about the state we might find him in. Even if he is alive, this could be destroying him, both physically and mentally. The torture FEAR puts their prisoners through is notoriously so agonizing that many don’t survive, and the ones who do remain scarred and traumatized for the remainder of their lives. I can hope that doesn’t happen to Mystic, but if we’re being completely honest, he could very well be in that exact state and we need to be prepared for that.

“Do you think he’ll be brainwashed?” Savior asks.

“No.” We all reply in unison

“He’d kill himself before they’d do that.” Mourner says.

The more we move, the more my heart starts to pound. I have no idea what’s going on in the rooms behind these doors at this point, and I can only try to make assumptions, but it could be worse than I think. I know they come up with new ways to get people to talk every day, and they want Mystic to talk as much as possible, so they’ll do whatever it takes.

Up to this point, the hallways have been completely silent, but that changes when a pained, ear-piercing scream echoes through the hallway. As soon as we hear it, Mourner takes off running.

"Oh my god, If I find Mystic dead…"

Destroyer tries to go after him, but by the time Destroyer can even reach the speed Mourner took off at, Mourner is long gone. Great. Now Mourner is gone and I have no clue where he’s going.

"That ..that did sound unnervingly like Mystic." Destroyer says after a while.

"Should we just follow the screams?" Savior asks.

But what I do know is that the three of us still here have to keep going, or else Mystic is dead.

"I…I don't know."

But at this moment, that seems to be a logical option.

"You know what, one of us probably should follow them."

"I'll do it." Destroyer says. I reach into my bag and grab a dagger.

"You'll need this."

"Thank you." He says as he rushes off.

While Mourner running off definitely wasn’t what we needed right now, my instincts are telling me that he will be fine and that we don’t have to go after him. He can do whatever he’s doing right now, but we have to get Mystic. He could be anywhere, so finding him could take a while.

We can’t waste a single second.

“How many people do you think he’ll kill?” savior asks, sounding a little frightened.

“Everyone he can get his hands on. He’s going to have a lot of blood on him.”

“And you aren't going to go after him?"

"My gut is telling me he'll be fine. Savior, check the weapons rooms. Mystic's likely not in there, but some officials will probably be in there at some point. Follow them as closely as you can, don't get caught."

As we search the rooms throughout the hallways, the screams continue and make me feel sick to my stomach. I can only hope that it isn't Mystic. The idea that he’s being tortured right now makes me feel physically ill, but at least it would mean he’s still alive. But I have to ignore that to focus on the matter at hand. If we don’t find Mystic within the next few hours, we’re all fucked…

Mystic

My vision is blurry as I open my eyes. The room feels like it’s spinning. The taste of metal is strong in my mouth. I have no idea where I am, but I know my surroundings are grey, almost stone looking. I don’t remember what happened or why I’m here, but I know wherever I am, I shouldn’t be.

Suddenly, everything hits me at once. The memories start to flood back as I remember my fight with Mourner, going back to my tent in tears, wanting to see Mourner again, the storm blowing everything away, and then getting grabbed and knocked out. That’s when I realize the metallic taste is blood. Looking at my clothes confirms that realization, some of the blood dripped onto me.

As I try to wipe the blood off with my arm, I hear footsteps approaching me. Immediately, I start to panic.

"No no no. If there's something up there, please save me! Mourner, I know you can't hear this, but please save me from this hell!"

My chest is tightening, my throat is closing, I feel like I’m choking on the air. I’m done for. I’m never making it out of here. I guess I can kiss my chance to apologize to Mourner goodbye.

Looking up at my captors, I see that their faces are bearing sinister smiles. Seeing their faces sends chills down my spine.

"Decided not to wear your masks, I see. Somehow you look even more like the devil without them on."

"Shut. Up."

I have no clue what they plan on doing to me, but I know that I have to be strong. Whatever they ask of me, whatever they tell me to do, I will refuse. They are getting nothing from me. I will not betray my people, even if it kills me.

Two of them pick me up and take me out of the room I’m in.

"Let go of me!" I struggle against the chains, but it doesn't work.

"You think we're gonna obey your weeping? God, you're pathetic."

They then take me across the hallway, into a room that absolutely reeks of blood and something burning. At this point, my heart is pounding directly in my ears, my legs are shaking so badly that if I wasn’t being carried I would have fallen, and I’m starting to hyperventilate.

"Look at this weakling. How did you survive out in the desert, with this fragile disposition."

Despite this, one thought and one thought only is going through my mind: Tell them nothing. Tell them nothing, even if it kills you. It is better to be a dead man than to be a traitor to the only people who have ever cared for you.

They force me into a kneeling position in front of them. Then one of them cuts my clothes right off of me until my back is exposed. Another one grabs my hair and forces me to look at him. Then he starts to question me. “Do you know why you’re here?” I keep my mouth shut. I don’t even look him in the eyes.

Suddenly I feel a terrible stinging pain on my back as the sound of a whip cracking my back assaults my ears. The pain is unbearable, but I bite my tongue to keep from crying out. I refuse to give these sick bastards the pleasure of hearing a sound from me.

"Maybe he's stronger than you thought." One of them says. I’m not going to say anything, just as I said. I would rather die than give them the answers they’re looking for.

"Just you wait. He'll crack. They always do."

Part of me wants to look down just so I can piss them off more, but I know that I’m not going to benefit from looking down, it’s only going to get me more unnecessary pain. So, I look the one in front of me directly in the eyes, giving him the nastiest glare I can form. He then asks the same question again.

"I bet you know why you're here. So tell me why."

I just shake my head.

The whip hits my back again, and the man in front of me says that he wants me to answer in words before he asks the same question again.

"No. Absolutely not. You know the answer as well as I, you don't need to hear me say it."

Then he leans down to my level, getting so close to me that I can feel him breathing on me. “You’re here because you’re a traitor.” He then proceeds to talk about how I’ve been fighting for the rebels, and that I have knowledge that they need.

I guess if they want to hear me speak so badly, then now will be a good time. “You’re not getting anything out of me.” They seem shocked at that. I can tell they’re probably used to begging for mercy. I don’t care how much pain they put me through, they won’t have me begging like that. I’ve gone through torture before, this can’t be much different from what I went through at the asylum.

“What was that?”

“I’m not telling you anything. Fuck you. Fuck all of you.”

"You want to talk to me like that?"

I brace myself, expecting to be whipped again, but instead, I’m met with a searing burn, right below my neck. Even though I promised myself I wouldn’t cry out or scream, I can’t stop myself this time. They seem satisfied to hear me screaming, which tells me not to do it again.

"I knew this would happen. It just took the right method."

I don’t care if I have to bite straight through my tongue, giving them the satisfaction of hearing my voice is compliance.

Looking the man in front of me in the eyes again, I tell myself to be strong as I blink back tears. If he sees me cry, he gets the satisfaction of starting to break me. So, I smile at him, reiterating my point. “I don’t have to tell you anything.”

He glares at me. “And why would that be? Do you think you’re getting rescued?” I don’t say anything. I pretend I didn’t even hear him. He laughs at me before grabbing my chin and forcing me to look directly into his eyes, his face barely inches from mine. “They’re not coming for you. They don’t need you. But we do.”

"Torture me, go ahead. Kill me, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to give up anything."

I try to brush his words off. They do need me. And they will come for me, right? They wouldn’t leave me here, right? I mean at the very least they must have realized I’ve been gone by now. I don’t know how long it’s been, but they have to know by now, right? I mean it must have been at least a few hours. They know, and they’re going to be here soon.

But then remembering my fight with Mourner again. Mourner probably never wants to see my face again, the fact that I’m gone might not faze him in the least, dare I say he could actually be happier with me gone. He saw me as a friend, nothing more. Now he probably sees me as nothing. And after that fight, everyone must be against me now.

I’m genuinely on my own now. My biggest fear has come true. They’re not coming back for me. They’re going to move on without me.

"Even if they leave me here, I'm not going to betray them. All this is nothing I haven't experienced."

Just like my parents did all those years again. This is my childhood all over again, only this time, my death is inevitable. This is the end. The worst part is that I’ll never get to talk to Mourner again. I’ll never get to tell him how sorry I am for every stupid word I said back there, I’ll never get to tell him how much I love him. And he won’t care.

"Not like he should care anymore."

The man in front of me continues to talk, and I can’t even understand it. The words he said before, the fact that they’re not coming for me, is ringing in my ears. Everything I’ve feared for years now, everything I’ve tried to convince myself would never happen, is finally happening, and there’s nothing I can do to get myself out. Fuck staying strong. I can’t do this.

As I start to sob, the whip hits my back two more times. At this point, I can feel blood running down my back from the whipping.

"What a little sissy. Is everyone as weak as you?"

And I can’t bring myself to worry about that. All I can worry about is what everyone is thinking back at our camp. I know I fucked up bad, but they couldn’t have forgotten about me that quickly, right? Someone has to be concerned about me, right?

"The others have made mistakes, and we've still tried to rescue them."

"Yeah, but you killed your leader. No they won't come for you."

Did I really fuck up so badly that they’re just going to let me disappear?

"So maybe you should talk."

"You'll just kill me anyways. Might as well make my death worth something."

Do they even know that I was taken? They might think that I ran away because of the fight. But Prophet has to know something, right? But then that brings me back to what happened to cause the fight in the first place. Even if he woke up, his ability to find out where I could be would probably not be what it usually is. They probably know nothing. Even if they do care, which they probably don’t, they’re not going to find out anything. So, this is the end for me.

Both men who brought me here have been talking to me, and I’m not listening to either of them. All I’m doing is trying to come to terms with the fact that no one is coming for me.

"Your little sissy friends-"

"I have been made aware that they aren't coming back. And you really need to come up with new insults."

This is just one big repeat of what happened to me as a child. Maybe this was my fate all along. Maybe I was meant to be abandoned. I should have just listened to Mourner, but I didn’t. This is what I deserve for letting Prophet get hurt and then arguing with Mourner. If I die, it’s deserved. Whatever comes to me now is completely my fault. Whatever happens, I deserve it. I’m gravely ashamed of myself for acting that way, and now I am going to suffer the consequences.

I’m snapped out of my spiraling thoughts by the whip hitting my back four…maybe five times? I can’t keep count anymore. I’m starting to lose my mind. Maybe I’m not as strong as I thought. Maybe they will break me. But I can’t stoop to the level of telling them any secrets. Even if no one is coming for me, I’m not going to betray them. They deserve better than that, and me being relieved from torture is not worth risking their lives. I would sooner die the worst death that FEAR has to offer than give up our secrets to them.

Now that I can finally understand what is being said to me, I can hear that they’re talking about the solar device we just stole. I can't help it. I start laughing, and I can't stop.

They don't know we destroyed it.

"What's so funny?" They want it back, and they’re looking for me to tell them where they are so they can find it.

We studied their technology, and we knew that if we brought it back while it was still functional, it would track where we were. We tried to prevent this from happening. But if I tell them that, they’re going to know something about us, and I promised not to let that happen. Whether or not they’d be able to use that information, I’m not going to give them anything. I told them I wouldn’t say anything, and if suddenly I did, they would think I was softening.

“Now, tell us what you did with it.”

“No.” The man in front of me steps away for a second after I refuse to tell him anything. I’m scared for what’s going to happen now, but I can’t show a single sign of fear. That’s going to screw me over even more. They’re going to try to get whatever they can out of me, and I can’t give them any of it. If I have to go silent again, then so be it.

When he reappears, he holds a bottle of lemon juice up before handing it to the man behind me. Seeing it terrifies me, because I remember exactly what used to happen at the asylum. They’re going to pour it into my wounds if I don’t say something. I’m terrified, but I can’t talk. I’m no traitor.

Standing in front of me once more, the man says that he will give me one more chance to tell the truth. He wants to know exactly where we located the device. He also is promising to make this “less painful” if I give him the weaknesses of each of the other leaders of the Wild Ones. Meaning they want to know how to destroy each of us. That is the absolute last thing they would get out of me. I will die before I give them that confession. They’re still getting nothing out of me. Nothing whatsoever.

"Go ahead. Pour the lemon juice into my wounds. It's not like I haven't experienced that. But Im. Not. Going to give you the information you want."

Once I do this, I try to brace myself for pain, but no amount of preparation could prepare me for the pain of the lemon juice being poured directly onto my wounds. I haven’t screamed like this in years.

Hearing my own screams is bringing me right back to all of those lonely nights in the asylum. Every single time they tortured me without reason, every time they laughed at me, humiliated me, reminded me that I was nothing more than an abomination. As the flashbacks start to hit, my screams get louder. I can no longer tell what is real. All I know is pain.

This continues on, with them asking me questions that would absolutely destroy us if the answers got out. Who our second in command is, who our healer is, who our most powerful member is. I choke back sobs as I continue to show as much defiance as I can muster. I make the same point again, that they won’t get anything out of me, and it just leads to more pain.

Eventually they run out of lemon juice, and for a split second, I laugh to myself. But then I see them bringing out the salt. That was always the worst when I was younger. It hurt for so much longer, I’d be sobbing on the ground for hours after they would salt my wounds. I wish I could make them stop, but the only way to stop them would be to give them answers.

As the one behind me starts to salt my wounds, I grit my teeth to prevent more screaming. The pain is unbearable at this point, and I would rather die than continue to endure this. And quite frankly, I hope they kill me rather than continue to torment me. They’re not going to get what they want from me, and the moment they realize that is the moment I will finally know peace.

They continue to ask the same questions, and each time, I meet them with the same defiance. I will not be giving them the answers they want, I’m just waiting for them to realize that. I’ll accept my death before I accept my defeat. If they kill me, it means that I won at the end of the day. If I gave them answers, what would they do? Let me go? I would be alone and I would be a traitor. It would be no use.

My back starts to go numb from all the burning and whipping. Now that the pain has started to subside, I can focus on the fact that the people I loved and cared about for so long are leaving me to die in this place. I don’t even blame them. And I think they will be happier with me gone. Hopefully they can carry on without being weighed down now that I’m gone.

The man stands in front of me once more, his eyes exhausted now from everything he and his partner have done for the past…hour? I think? I have no clue how long this has been going on, nor do I have a clue how many times I was whipped or burned, nor how many questions they asked me that I refused to answer. All I know is that the end is nigh, and I feel nothing.

“I’m going to give you one more chance. If you do not answer this question, you are going to be sent to our burial grounds. We know one among you has the power to conjure the dead in order to fight alongside your group. What is the name of this person?”

That is what truly makes me snap. They mean Mourner. They want to know about Mourner because they know the power Mourner has would be useful to them somehow. I’m not going to stand for this.

“I’ll never betray him like that. I don’t care that we got into a fight, he shouldn’t be trailed by the likes of you.”

Leaning ever so slightly forward, I spit directly in his face. Apparently my mouth is still bloody, because he winds up with a splotch of blood directly on his cheek. As he wipes it off, the rage on his face feels almost freeing. Yes, this is the end, but I did what I had to in order to protect the ones I love.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were in love with him."

"Oh, I absolutely am."

Even if they don’t care about me anymore, even if I destroyed my relationship with every one of them beyond repair in the end, I can say I refused to endanger them.

"You're what?"

"In love. Or do you guys not feel that? Wouldn't be surprised."

Quickly after spitting in his face, I’m pulled to my feet and burnt one last time before I am dragged out of the room.

"Come on f-"

"There is a difference between gay and bisexual. You should probably know that. If you want to insult my sexuality, just call me an indecisive slut and get it over with."

Soon after, I find myself being dragged out of the building. I don’t understand. They’re freeing me? After I was so defiant? Are they going to try to get me to run back to the camp and then follow me there or something?

As I see them drag me into a field filled with holes that look like they could be graves, I remember what he said about the burial grounds. So they are killing me, and they’re doing so slowly. I’m going to be buried alive. I really am done for.

One man keeps me held back, anticipating me to try to run. I don’t. I stand completely still. I knew my death would come while I was here. The other leaves, returning with a coffin. The coffin is opened and I find myself being lifted into it by the throat. I lay completely still, just as I had been standing, knowing that there’s nothing I can do to prevent this at this point in time. I’m not scared.

"No screams? No cries to be saved? No last minute confessions?"

"You would have just killed me anyways. You don't have your masks on. I knew I was a goner from the start."

He shrugs. "You're stronger than I thought."

The coffin is closed, and soon after, I find myself being lowered into the ground. When I hear the dirt being filled in over the coffin, that is when I start to actually feel afraid. This shouldn't be how it ends, but I can’t do anything to stop it. And at least my life can end now with the knowledge that I was loyal to my friends.

Hearing fading laughter from above me, I realize that they’ve finished the job and I have only hours left to live. As sweat gets in my eyes, I think I’m slowly dying. I have the urge to scream, but what good would that do? There’s no one around, they’re not going to hear me. All that would do is make my death quicker. Easier even. And I don’t deserve that. I’m going to go out slowly.

Through the dark of the buried kennel I’m lying in, all I see is hate and anger. I can’t escape this place, I can hardly breathe and I can hardly take it. But I can still try to be happy, because after all, I’m not a traitor. Who am I kidding, that mindset hasn’t helped me, and for all I know, it might not help anyone else either. They could just as easily hunt down every one of us and do this just the same to each of them.

I’ve been tortured before, I’ve been tormented to the point that I was screaming until my voice blew out, and yet I have never felt so final. And that is what makes me panic. I have tolerated the idea of death for the duration of my time here.

Suddenly, it feels as if a switch has been flipped inside my mind. There’s nothing I can do to dig myself out of here, nor is there anything I can do to make myself seen, but dammit I can make myself heard. So, with every bit of energy I have left in me, I scream at the top of my lungs.

The screams physically hurt and I can barely get them out, and yet, I scream louder than I ever have before, so loud that my ears start to ring. I know I am going to suffocate myself quicker if I am not found, but I don’t care, someone could find me and get me out! Whatever happens, I can’t die!

My screaming continues until my voice starts to go weak, and then the realization washes over me that my screams have been completely feeble. Now I’m still done for, only now it’s coming quicker than I initially anticipated. I can only hope now that FEAR will not go after my loved ones, and that they will not die in the same vain that I did. Perhaps I was never meant for this world, but they were and they deserve to continue living through it.

I think something is happening above me.

Why am I hearing screams from above ground? I wonder. Probably just the lack of oxygen.

As I start feeling myself running low on air, Mourner crosses my mind again. I know he hates me now, and once again, I don’t blame him at all for hating me, but I can give myself some credit for preventing him from dying the same death as me. Hopefully he can find someone better than me as a friend, someone who won’t refuse to listen like that, and maybe someone who's foolish enough to fall in love with him. He deserves to have someone.

As my breathing slows and my consciousness starts to fade, he is the last thing on my mind, with my last thought being my hope that we meet in another life…

Mourner

My vision is blurred by my tears as I run aimlessly around the building.

"Come on, come on. I need to find him!"

I heard faint screams, and I swear they sounded like Mystic, but it can't be him, he’s dead. All I want is a sign, any sign that could tell me where Mystic is. I don’t believe he’s alive, there’s absolutely no way in hell that he’s still living. He’s been away now long enough for them to have tortured and killed him. All I want to do is find his corpse for the burial, and murder every single last one of those bastards.

I know by now that he has to be dead, but there’s something inside of me that thinks he’s still alive. I know it’s the grief talking, this is just the stage of denial. It will be over soon enough, and when it ends, I’ll be able to accept that I’ll never be able to make amends for the things I said to him, and that I’ll never be able to let him know how much I love him. I wish I could do something, anything to take my mind off of the grief, but what am I supposed to do? He’s gone, and it’s my fault.

My mind is going back and forth between “he has to be dead” and “he can’t be dead”. I know it’s almost impossible, if not impossible, that he’s alive right now.

"No, no. Mourner try to think positively. He might still be alive."

But at the same time, I know he can’t be dead. I don’t even know what I’ll do if I find his body. I don’t think I can live with him dead.

For a moment I stop to take a breath and start to think about what my life would be without him there. That reality sounds absolutely hollow. No matter how close I get with anyone else, even Prophet, Destroyer, or Savior, I will never be able to replace Mystic.

"He can't be dead, he can't be dead, this isn't happening."

Whether or not I’m ready to accept it, he’s gone, I can never get him back and it’s my own fucking fault. If I didn’t start that fight, he would still be here.

"You shouldn't have said those things. Oh god, why did I talk to him like that?"

He and I would have gone to one of our tents together during that storm, we would have been able to protect each other.

"You should have just checked with Savior first and made sure you got the story right!"

But no, I had to fight with him instead of talking it out. Or just letting him cool down. I didn’t wait to see what actually happened. He isolated himself from everyone, and he was captured without us knowing until the morning. That gave them plenty of time to torture and kill him.

There’s no one to blame for this but me. I should have been there for him. He was there for me every single time in the past, we were always there for each other. Was I that scared that I lost the person who meant more to me than anyone or anything in the world, the person I would kill and die for?

"Is that even a question, Timothy?"

Yes. I absolutely crushed him and then let him go off on his own. I blamed him for something he should never have been blamed for, and the look on his face when I did that is going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

I didn’t even bother to think about how much I was hurting him when I was screaming at him, and that fucked everything up beyond all repair. He got killed. He's dead, all because of my own stupidity.

My self-loathing is interrupted by a scream coming from right outside. Just like the one before. Now that I’m closer, I hear that it sounds just like Mystic, and I swear my heart stops as I call his name. “Mystic?” I yell, my voice cracking. It can’t be him, he must be dead by now. I must be losing my mind. But then I hear the scream again.

I hear Destroyer calling my name from right behind me, saying that they’ve been looking everywhere for me.

"Where the fuck-"

I just point to the door leading outside. “He’s out there.” Savior and Prophet appear to me after Destroyer, and I can tell from the look on their faces that I must look and sound insane to them.

They probably don’t believe me, they must think I’m losing my mind from the grief, and I wouldn’t blame them, but I know what I heard. But I don’t think they heard the screams. Was I really the only one who heard that? I know I was the closest one, but maybe they heard it in the distance? Is my mind making this up?

“You have to believe me!” I practically scream, moving to open the door. Prophet just nods and walks out as soon as I burst the door open. If Prophet is approving of what I’m saying, then I have to be right about where Mystic is, because he would know if I’m wrong or not, right? I know his brain is still a bit screwed up right now, but he would still know.

"Please tell me you believe me."

"My intuition-"

"Your powers? They're back?" I say hopefully.

"'It's getting there. But I think you're right."

As soon as I get outside, I see what looks like a freshly dug grave, and I know that Mystic has to be in there. I get down and start digging it up, throwing the dirt behind me.

"Dude, you really need to work on your aim!" Destroyer says, as he tries to get the dirt out of his mouth.

"I don't think he cares about that right now." Savior mumbles.

"THANK YOU! NOW HELP ME DIG!" I scream.

I can barely breathe because of all the dirt and dust getting in my face, but I don’t stop for a second. There could still be a chance that he’s alive, and I’m going to preserve that chance, even if it kills me.

By now I’ve dug a hole that I think is about two feet deep, and I know that I still can’t stop. I’m practically choking, but I know that me suffering for a bit means nothing if it means that I still have time to save Mystic.

Prophet and Destroyer are helping me to dig up the rest of the grave while Savior stands by to warn us if he sees anyone coming. Honestly I don’t care if anyone sees me. They can take me wherever they will, I won’t care.

"My arms-"

"KEEP GOING!" I yell.

Maybe I do sound insane, maybe I sound obsessed, but I don’t care. I need him, I need to have him by my side, and if he is gone, then I know it won’t be much longer before I’m gone too.

After what feels like forever, I start to see what looks like a coffin. So, I start working to uncover more of it, throwing the dirt around and not really caring where it lands, only if it’s away from where the coffin is. Once I can finally see the entirety of the coffin, I start doing everything I can to open it.

The side of the coffin is still surrounded by enough dirt to keep us from opening it, so I keep digging, and I do so a bit faster. I’m starting to feel that all hope is gone here. We’ve run out of time and by the time we finally get the coffin open, he’ll be long gone. But that isn’t stopping me from trying to find out.

When the dirt is finally cleared from the side of the coffin, I practically throw the top open. My heart seems to drop to my knees when I see him there, pale and unmoving. This can’t be happening, it isn’t happening, this is some sort of sick dream, a cruel nightmare that will come to an end any second now. It isn’t real.

Grabbing Mystic from out of the coffin, I start screaming at the top of my lungs for him to wake up.

“Please, please be alive! Wake up!”

I can barely form words at all, just the words “wake up” are almost too much for me to speak. I try shaking him and am met with no response. When I try to grab his hand, I feel that it’s cold to the touch. He’s dead.

Or maybe that’s just because it’s really cold today.

My entire body is in a state of shock. I don’t feel in control of myself anymore. Whether or not Prophet, Destroyer, or Savior are talking to me, I don’t know at all. I can’t understand them. The only thing I can hear is the sound of my own heart beating so hard that it drowns out the sound of their words. Without a word from my own mouth, I start running. I can’t bear to see Mystic like this and have only one thing on my mind. Vengeance.

I swore from the moment we found Mystic gone that I would kill whoever took him and anyone who dared to harm him. I have nothing to lose. They’re all going to pay for what they did with their fucking lives.

Going back into the building and through the hallway, I hear laughter. This causes me to immediately spring in the direction of the sound. When I look to see who the laughter could belong to, my heart drops again when I see two men there, one of them holding a dirty shovel. It’s them, they’re the ones who did it.

“And we put him through the wringer, didn’t we?”

“I wonder if his stupid friends are gonna try to save him.”

“I wonder if he knew we already were aware about Mourner before we asked him.”

“Good one, man. I could see the terror in his eyes!”

Without giving it a second thought, I grab the dagger in my pocket and run into the room with it in hand. Before they have time to question who I am or why I’m there, I grab the one with the shovel and push him against the wall, knocking the shovel out of his arms.

"Who are you?"

"Code name is Mourner." I reply.

"So you're the bastard we've been researching.”

“You killed him,” I shout, holding the dagger only an inch from his chest. “Who, the prisoner? Of course I did. And that sick pervert was in love with you. Can you believe it!" That does it. I’m not listening to another word from this subhuman scum.

"He…I could've told him. He was in love with me too." I can't think about that right now.

Grabbing him by the throat, I pull the dagger back another inch or so.

"And I was in love with him."

"You too?" The official says, gasping for air.

I don't bother to respond before lunging it directly into his heart, continuing to go deeper until I can’t push it any further. Once this happens, I pull it out and stab him again.

Blood starts to splatter all over me as I continuously stab the bastard. He barely screamed and by now, I know he’s dead, but I can’t stop until I drain him of his blood enough to send a message. Once this is done, I move onto the other man who was with him, who can only stand by in shock.

"Is everyone on your wretched team a freak like you?"

When I grab him, another man walks in, asking what was done with the prisoner they were interrogating.

"You're going to hell." He says.

"Tell Satan I give him my regards when you get down there." As the other official looks at me, I make direct eye contact with him as I stab his colleague directly in the stomach.

"Backup! I need backup!"

His voice filled with terror, and I laugh as I stab his coworker again. I’ve never felt like this before, never in my life have I truly felt bloodlust until now. I’ve had to kill during battles, but never have I felt this passionate about it before.

Once I can be sure that this one is dead, I start to run towards the other one. He darts away, and I run after him, starting to chase him through the hallways. My dagger is still in my hand, at this point the whole thing is stained red and is dripping all over. Then again, so are my clothes. Even my hair is dripping blood.

He is running fast and is still calling for backup, but that isn’t going to stop me. He’s dead, and so are they. All of them are, I’m killing anyone who gets too close. Now I’m starting to close in on him, and he has a gun aimed at me.

"You're a monster! A complete pervert!"

"Bitch, I raise the dead, your opinion means nothing to me."

“What if I told you, Timothy, I was the one who shot your mother through the heart?”

“My-”

“Nadia Garret. 38 years old. She wouldn’t let us fix your heathen ways. Said that you didn’t need fixing.” He shrugs. “Said she still loved you.”

I don’t even stop to think about what to do about the fact that he’s armed, I simply kick the gun out of his hands before grabbing him and slashing his throat. Then I continue to stab and slash his body until the ground is blood stained. By the time I’m done with him, I see that the people he called for are here. Two of them came, and neither of them came prepared enough. Their guns won’t stop me.

As soon as I see their faces, I turn and start chasing them the same way I had with the others. Then one turns around, grabs me, and puts his gun directly up to my head. For a split second, I feel fearful again, but that ends as soon as I can get my hand close enough to his face.

“Any regrets?” He asks, ready to shoot.

Then I take my fingers and drive them directly into his eyes. He stumbles back, and I stab him directly in the heart. Once he is no longer moving or screaming, I slash his skin a few times more, leaving enough blood on the floor so that another unsuspecting bastard can come in and slip on it. I hope if that happens that they crack their fucking skull.

When I take a few more steps, I see the other person called for backup running from me. Now that I can see him clearly, I run after him. He’s not innocent, fearful or not. He had something to do with Mystic’s death, and now he is going to suffer the consequences.

“Someone needs to restrain this maniac for me!” He shouts.

While he’s faster than I thought he would be, his luck runs out when he trips and falls. I don’t waste a single second, I run straight to him and start dragging him away by the leg.

“What do you want?” he asks.

When he starts to scream, I kneel down and stab him in the back repeatedly. He screams for quite some time, but eventually the screams die down and then come to a complete stop.

Now that they’re gone, I can see what I’ve done now, and that is that I have brutally killed five people. And I have done so in cold blood. I don’t feel the slightest glimpse of sympathy towards them.

Nothing can take away nor heal this pain in my heart, but their blood on my hands, at least it’s a start.

Even though they’re gone now, none of the guilt I feel has disappeared. It’s my fault that Mystic was taken in the first place.

Maybe now would be a good time to go back. I know I have to face the fact that Mystic is dead and gone, and that means going back to see Prophet, Destroyer, and Savior. I have to come to terms with this, and I can’t do that here alone. I start to go back to where I last saw them.

When I walk over to where they are with Mystic’s body-

"AHHHHH!!!!!" Prophet screams, almost falling to the ground before Savior catches him. I could look at their faces and think that they saw a ghost.

"Don't freak out, it's just Mourner." Savior tries to explain.

"Don't freak out? DON’T FREAK OUT? I was injected with sleeping juice, we just dug Mystic out of a fucking coffin, and now Mourner looks like Carrie!"

“What did you do?” Destroyer shouts. I look down at my blood stained clothing and realize that I have nothing to say for myself. I don’t know how to explain what I did.

They’re all trying to talk to me, and I still can’t understand them. All I can do is stare at Mystic, still trying to comprehend that he’s gone.

Eventually, I find myself crawling onto the ground and holding Mystic’s body in my arms. Once I’m holding him, I can’t contain myself, I just start bawling like a child. He’s actually dead, I can’t deny it any longer. We were too late to save him. Now I don’t know how to continue on with my life.

I can barely breathe as I hug his body so tightly that I worry about breaking him in half. I don’t want to let go, and I can’t.

“You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy

When skies are gray

You’ll never know dear

How much I love you

Please don’t take my sunshine away” I begin singing.

My mom always sang that to me at bedtime, when I was younger and couldn’t sleep.

I don’t know what to do, it feels like my life is over. It should be over. I should have been taken instead. I was the one who started that fight. They should have taken me instead, they should have tortured and killed me. Mystic didn’t deserve any of this, but I would have deserved every second of it.

I still have Prophet, Destroyer, and Savior, I’m still a big part of the Wild Ones, and I know they need me. But they needed Mystic too. It’ll never be the same again without him. And while I don’t want to leave them, a part of me hopes that I die in the next battle. It doesn’t matter if I make it through.

When I’m finally able to snap back out of my thoughts, I realize that Destroyer is calling my name, and I think he has been for some time. “Listen, Mourner, I know you’re probably not going to believe this but, um…he’s not dead.” Those three words almost anger me. I feel like he’s lying to me, and why would he lie about something like this? Is he just trying to comfort me, or is he being serious?

Then Savior speaks.

“I was able to find a pulse while you went all Tasmanian Devil.” He takes my hand and places it on Mystic’s wrist. His heart is still beating.

“He’s unconscious from the lack of oxygen in the tight space. They planned a slow death for him. I don’t know how long he was in there, I can’t estimate if he’s going to stay unconscious forever.”

I don’t know why I can’t believe this, but it feels strange. Nonetheless, he is apparently still alive, and I will be doing everything in my power to keep him that way.

We’re going back to the camp now, and I am going to make sure he’s still alive, I’m going to be there when and if he ever wakes up. I’m never going to leave him again.

“Mourner, do you want me to-”

“No, Savior. I can hold him.”

Even though he might never forgive me for the things I said to him, and I wouldn’t blame him in the slightest.

As we walk out, I can see in the light of day that the blood from my clothes is starting to stain Mystic’s clothes too. That doesn’t stop me from still holding onto him as tightly as I can. I’m not letting go, and I feel like I might never be able to let him go again. The only thing I can focus on is staring at his face to see if he shows any sign that he’ll wake up soon.

The entire walk back, I can’t take my eyes off of Mystic’s face. All of my attention is on him. I’m trying to focus on his breathing, any slight movement he makes, trying to see if he makes any sort of sound, or if he stirs at all.

“Is he okay, Mourner?” Prophet asks.

“He’s still alive, if that’s what you mean.”

I don’t know when he’ll wake up, I don’t know if he’ll ever wake up, for all I know, he could still be dying, but he is alive right now, and as long as I have that chance that he will wake up, I am going to cling to it.

Once we’re back, I take Mystic to my tent and set him up so he’ll be comfortable. And I put in extra reinforcements. Then I seat myself right by his side and make sure to tell myself that I’m not leaving this spot until he wakes up. I don’t care if I’m here for days, I’m not moving. Even then, I hope to whoever may be listening that he forgives me, even after I said all those horrible things to him during the fight.

"Dude, you should probably change your clothes." Prophet says.

"No, no I'll do that later."

I have to be here for him, I need to make sure he knows that I would sooner die than abandon him.

After a day, I notice some movement.

"Mystic-"

He turns to me, and those brilliant blue eyes make my breath hitch.

"Where am I? Mourner, why are you-oh God, is this yours?" He points to the blood.

"Wait, is this heaven? Mourner, please don't tell me you killed-

"No, no it's not heaven, and this isn't my blood. You're at camp and…you're alive."

Tears start leaking from my eyes, and Mystic wipes some of it off of my cheek.

"Well, with Prophet gone-"

"No no, don't go there. He's not dead."

"The bullet-"

"It wasn't a bullet! It was some kind of sleeping potion that explodes on impact. He's tired but-Oh god, you're alive."

I hug him tightly, and he tries to get up.

"Do you need-" I put my hand on his back.

"Ow! Oh man, that hurts."

"God, I-"

"Mourner, can I please stay here?"

I nod. "Of course, of course. I need to tell the others!"

As I run out of my tent, I keep hoping he forgives me. Regardless of whether or not he does, I don’t think I can forgive myself for any of this. He is still alive, and he may live through this, but…And at the end of the day, that’s still my fault. I know that for a fact. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to him, but that’s only if he'll ever forgive me…

Savior

Prophet finally has his full senses back, the effects of the sleeping bullet have worn off. Now we’re just hoping that Mystic wakes up soon.

"He'll be fine, he's going to be okay. He'll wake up soon."

Mourner is staying with him, and he refuses to leave his side. I’m going to tend to his wounds once he’s awake, right now I’m just trying to make sure Prophet is actually okay.

I don’t take my eyes off of Prophet until I see Mourner sprinting out of his tent, tripping over his own feet.

"Guys! Mystic-Mystic's awake!"

As soon as I hear those words out of his mouth, I stand up. I know that Destroyer can stay here with Prophet for now, so I run back with Mourner.

"Come on!"

True to what Mystic said, he is awake. He still looks a bit dazed, but he’s awake nonetheless.

Mourner is right by his side, and the look in his eyes tells me that if I do one little thing to slip up, I’m going to wind up just like the people who hurt Mystic in the FEAR facility.

"Mourner, you are scaring me right now."

"Good." He says with clenched teeth.

"You know I'm going to do everything in my power to help him, right?"

Honestly I have no clue how to approach this situation. Mourner is extremely protective over Mystic right now, and I’m scared to do the wrong thing. I know Mourner wouldn’t actually want to hurt me, but he doesn’t mess around when it comes to Mystic.

"I know you're stressed out-"

"If you kill him-"

"Mourner, you know I would never do that."

"I don't want to take my chances. I'm staying here."

“Mourner, it’s just me. I have to get to Mystic so I can care for his wounds. You don’t have to leave.” He moves aside slightly, keeping his eyes glued to Mystic as I move towards him. The moment I get close to Mystic, he flinches. I don’t know what he kind of torture he endured, but it must have been horrendous. I’m kind of worried to treat him. I don’t want to trigger any bad memories.

Once I’m finally able to get close enough to him, I ask him where his wounds are located on his body. He doesn’t speak, but Mourner lifts his shirt up. What I see horrifies me. His entire back is covered with lacerations and burns. I don’t know what the hell they did to him to cause all this, but his entire back is screwed up by the marks.

"Oh my god. Mystic, I'm so sorry." Mourner whispers.

"You didn't cause this."

"If I hadn't yelled at him-"

"He's alive now."

Thankfully the wounds aren’t deep, so I can close them easily, but I have to disinfect them first. I do have some disinfectant around, so I go outside and into my tent until I find it.

Then I go back to Mourner’s tent. As soon as I get back, I pour the disinfectant on a cloth.

"How is he?"

"I think he's a little out of it still. He was lucid when he first woke up, but I think his brain's a little foggy."

I start talking to Mystic.

"This is going to sting a little."

I pause for a second.

"Actually, scratch that, it's going to hurt like hell."

I know this is going to hurt him a bit, but it has to be done in order for him to get better. Bracing myself for a reaction from Mystic, I start to rub the cloth all over his back.

Despite my warnings, he screams in pain within seconds of the disinfectant reaching his skin. Mourner wraps his arms around Mystic, who screams into his chest as I continue to disinfect his wounds. I feel bad about this, but I have to make sure it doesn’t get worse. If I don’t do this, he’ll wind up with major infections that could cause him serious issues if not kill him.

“Breathe Mystic. You’re okay,” Mourner whispers as he holds Mystic. As Mourner continues to hold him, I finish cleaning his wounds. Then I go to start closing them over. As soon as I touch his back, he cries out again, begging for me to stop. I quickly take my hands off of him.

"I'm not going to say anything! This is nothing I haven't dealt with before."

For a moment I’m confused as to why he said that, but then my stomach sinks as the truth hits me. He doesn’t even know where he is. Right now, at least.

"Was he like this when he woke up?"

"No," Mourner says, "not at all".

In his mind, he’s still in the FEAR headquarters, being tortured. He probably doesn’t even know that it’s us with him.

"Mystic, you're in the camp, remember? Do you remember waking up here?"

For some reason, I don't think he does.

"Mystic, you're not there anymore. Savior is just applying disinfectant. We're all here, Destroyer and Prophet are outside. We won't let them take you again."

When Mystic finally realizes that he’s telling the truth, he cries out again. “I don’t want to go back there. Please don’t make me go back. Please. I’m sorry for everything I did. Just don’t make me go back there.”

Hearing him say all of this is heartbreaking. He must be so traumatized by what he went through. At the moment he’s sobbing in Mourner’s arms.

"Mourner, I'm so sorry. I should have just talked to you, I shouldn't-"

"Mystic, that's not important now." Mourner responds.

Looking at Mourner’s face, I can tell that he’s barely holding it together right now. And I can’t say that I blame him. He's cradling Mystic like a child.

Mourner looks at me and nods his head. I continue running my hands over Mystic’s wounds, closing them up. By the time I finish, only scars remain.

"How bad do they look?" Mystic asks.

"Bad. Really bad. But I think you'll live." Mourner says.

Hopefully those heal nicely.

After a little while, Mystic starts to calm down. Mourner is continuing to hold him, reminding him to keep breathing. I’ve done all I can do, and I think a lot of this will be better handled by Mystic than by any of the rest of us. Mourner knows Mystic more than anyone else, they’re so close and I think any first discussions involving whatever happened to him are best had with Mourner. So I'll leave them alone.

"Well, I've done what I can. I'll be with Prophet and Destroyer if you need me."

"Okay." Mourner whispers.

I walk outside. Prophet is starting to act like himself again, and Destroyer looks more relaxed. I think we’re all relieved right now that everyone made it out of this situation alive, but I don’t know how long that relief is going to last. Looking at how Mystic was in there, he might never be the same again.

"Dada, dada!" I turn around and see Abigail running towards me. When she gets close enough, I pick her up and hug her. I can’t help but tear up a little bit right now.

"Abby, you have no idea how much I've missed you."

We were in such a dangerous situation, I might have never seen her again if things went any differently.

When it comes to Abigail, I don’t know what’s scarier: the idea that I could get hurt and she would be without me, or the idea that she could get hurt at any time. If anything ever hurt her, I would destroy everything. Sometimes it scares me, when I think of how much harm I might be willing to cause just to keep her safe.

I need to get Abigail to bed. Everything else can be sorted out in the morning, but after the way the past few days have been, I’m exhausted. Hopefully we can figure out how to prevent this again in the morning. We need each other now more than ever.

"Abigail, I'll be right next to you, okay? Your papa's not leaving tonight."

Abigail is already falling asleep. I’m tired but I can’t close my eyes, I have so many things running through my mind right now. I don’t like being the person to think about what could have happened, but I can’t help it now. Mystic was so close to death when we were able to dig him up, who’s to say that he wouldn’t have actually died if we were even five minutes later than we were?

All I can hope now is that this doesn’t happen again to any of us.

"What should I do? Are there extra reinforcements? Should I arm my daughter even more?"

They almost killed one of us and could have easily killed the rest of us as well. If we don’t take any precautions to stop this from happening again, we’ll all be dead next time. So, I’m going to work from now on to be prepared for anything. They could try to pull this again at any time, and I’ll be prepared. I’m nobody’s fool…

#black veil brides #bvb #jinxx #lonny eagleton #andy biersack #cc coma #jake pitts #wretched and divine

5 notes · View notes

six-of-brides · 2 years

Text

Wretched And Divine: Shadows Die

@x0-emoidiot-x0

Destroyer

“Prophet, calm down!”

“You don’t get it!”

FEAR is marching towards us at the moment, and Prophet knows this. According to him, we’re going to battle and something terrible is going to happen in the aftermath.

"One of us…one of us is going to get hurt."

"That happens all the time, Prophet. No need-"

"No, like, really hurt. Oh god, one of us is gonna die!"

He bursts into tears and clutches my legs. His brain is so foggy from all the stress that he can’t tell what’s going to happen, all he knows is that it will be catastrophic. And that one of us might die.

I’ve been trying to reason with him, saying that we’ll do everything in our power to keep everyone safe, but he won’t listen to me.

"Dude, we're going to do everything we can to minimize the damage. And they're weaker from the last battle."

I love Prophet, but I have to admit that his power was more of a curse for him in some ways.

Sure, it has saved our asses countless times, but for him it can turn him into a nervous wreck.

Right now he is claiming that something is going to catch us off guard and once it is said and done, we’re screwed.

"Okay, so let's prepare for this thing, that way we can minimize the damages."

My job at the moment is to calm him down so we can find out what that is and potentially stop it. But he’s hysterical right now.

"And up we go!" I say, trying to drag him up so we can actually plan for an attack, but he just collapses onto the ground again.

"Oh god, it's hopeless!"

Everything that has happened recently has taken a toll on him, and this is how it’s presenting itself.

"It won't be hopeless if we are able to plan for an attack. Please, just tell me what you can sense so we can plan for it."

With the way everyone outside is moving, I can tell that they know the battle is going to begin soon. We’ll know for sure once we start seeing the signals that FEAR can be seen. But I don’t know how I’m supposed to go out there and expect that we’ll be able to put up a decent fight with Prophet in this state.

“Can you at least tell me who this is going to affect directly?”

“No!” Prophet knows something bad is going to happen, but he has no idea what it is or who it is going to happen to, whether it be one of us or all of us.

"Everything is all just a blur."

What I do know right now is that Prophet refuses to listen to me.

"Can a few fighters come in here and tell me what we have on hand?"

Usually he’ll take my advice in these situations, but at the moment, he’s having an anxiety attack and isn’t willing to reason.

"We have spears that people are sharpening up right now, we have knotted rope, and trust me, those can cause massive damage if you know how to use them."

"I am fully aware of that fact, and thank you."

I know to stay with him and try to stay calm, but it can be really difficult to stay calm when the stakes are the way they are currently. They could arrive any minute, any second even.

"Okay, so the fighters have their weapons, so.."

"We're all gonna die, aren't we?"

"No, we aren't, and I know that because we're all fighters. We'll put them through hell before they kill us."

During times like this, when Prophet is so anxious he can’t function, it takes everything in me to not explode.

"Mystic! Savior! Mourner! Could you come here for a few minutes? We need to plan."

I know that would make matters worse, and I would never want to risk hurting him, so I put everything into staying calm while I try to reassure him that he is okay.

"What's going on?" Mystic says when he gets into the tent, followed shortly by Mourner.

"You need to watch out for them. I mean it." Prophet says, looking directly at Mystic.

But how am I supposed to reassure Prophet, the man who quite literally sees danger in our immediate future, that everything is going to be okay? Am I supposed to lie to him? I can’t do that, so what the hell do I do?

"Well, as you can see, Prophet's freaking out."

"They're coming!"

Mourner look down at Prophet crouched in a ball. He's about to say something, but the Savior rushes in.

"Sorry for being late, I needed to make sure my daughter-"

"You don't need to apologize for that." Mystic reassures him.

Savior crouches down.

“Listen to me!” he practically screams as Prophet sits there, still not able to comprehend his thoughts. “I know your mind is fucking with you right now, but you need to see that whatever aftermath you’re seeing will be worse if we don’t do something to figure out what’s wrong!” He’s listening now, but not responding very much.

"What?" He says, clearly very dazed.

I keep going off that point, explaining how calming himself down and listening to me could lead to us having an easier time figuring out what is going to happen and how we can prevent it.

"And an elevated heart beat lasting for too long will cause damage in the long run. I know that things up in your head are scary right now, but could you please tell us?"

I know this is hard for him, but I still have to remind him that lives are at stake if he doesn’t figure this shit out.

Over time, the more I talk to Prophet the more responsive he becomes. He’s starting to clear his mind more.

"Deep breaths, please. Prophet, we need your help. I know this is terrifying. Believe me, you don't have to explain. But I need you to calm down enough to help us win this."

When he gets anxious to a certain point, he becomes basically unresponsive. Then we're really screwed. He can’t understand what anyone is saying to him, so more often than not, his response is to not respond.

He starts taking deeper breaths.

"Okay. Okay. I think I'm calmer."

“Okay, so look into this vision. What do you see now?” He starts thinking more, and I can tell that he’s calm enough now to create an idea of what is going on in his head. Just when he starts to get words out, everyone outside starts signalling to us that it’s time to move. Now we have no time for this, we have to run.

"I saw them attacking us with spears from the south."

"That would be amazing, if we actually had a compass!"

"I'm doing the best I can!"

Prophet freezes for a second, and I almost wonder if I’ll have to drag him out.

"What's wrong?"

I can’t help but wonder if he freezes because he feels that we have a greater chance of survival by hiding.

"We need to grab Mystic-NOW."

"His powers are needed over here that badly?"

"I'm right here, Prophet!"

"You know what? I know we're gonna win this!"

But we all know that isn’t the case, so we both run outside instead, bringing ourselves to face FEAR once again…

Savior

“Don’t move, I promise I’ll be back.” I say this to Abigail as I run outside.

"But-"

"Honey, PLEASE stay in there!"

Everyone is moving, I’m needed right now. As much as I’d prefer to stay back and just protect my daughter, this is what I have to do.

"She's fine in the tent, they never go near them, they never attack the people inside. Why do they nof attack the people inside tents? It makes no sense."

Brutal as our attackers are, they wouldn’t dare harm her if she didn’t come out of the tent. I’ve told her so many times that I need her to stay here, I promised I would come back.

"How's Abigail doing?" Prophet asks.

"She's terrified. But…I fear the day when I tell her I'll be back, and then I die."

“She has to know by now that our survival for each battle isn’t certain.”

“Yes, but what is she going to think of me if she knows one of the last things I said to her was a lie?”

Prophet wraps me in his arms. “Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, Savior. I think she’ll be fine.”

By the time I’m outside and fighting, the space in front of me is already a bloodbath. Everyone else has been tearing the FEAR soldiers to shreds, and it’s my turn now.

"Mourner, can you help me over here?"

"Got it!" He says, grabbing a spear and muttering under his breath.

I start fighting with everything in me to take down as many of them as possible. But at the same time, I know to keep my eyes open for anyone injured.

The ghosts appear, and they immediately start arguing.

"Oh boo hoo, you died of the plague. I was burned at the stake for witchcraft!"

"We do not have time for this!" Mourner shouts.

"Just attack them." I order.

FEAR is putting up a nasty fight today, I swear this must be one of the bloodiest battles I’ve witnessed so far.

"Destroyer, are you okay?"

"Yeah, this is just the blood of FEAR officials."

"You're drenched in it! Are you sure-"

"No, dude. They just exploded."

But we won’t back down. We can’t, we fight to live out here, they’re simply fighting for pride. We have more to lose in the end.

"And you can thank me for that!" Mystic shouts over the noise.

"Hey, my blasts thinned out the numbers so you could take more of them down!"

After slaying all of them who I can get close to, poisoning them to the point where they’re dead within seconds, I step aside and go to tend to my own out here.

"Prophet, what are the numbers?"

"Um, around 300 still fighting. No one from our side is dead. And 100 need your help in the infirmary."

"Got it."

There are quite a few injured but thankfully nothing to severe. The blood is coming from FEAR today, and there’s quite a bit of it.

"Oh god, please tell me this blood isn't yours."

The patient in front of me has blood all over her face and clothing. The cot is now a deep shade of red.

"No, not mine. I seem to have developed powers, I can make people explode if I want to. I guess I started getting a little too enthusiastic."

I laugh softly. "Trust me: a friend of mine is the same way."

As I take care of the remaining wounded fighters of ours, I watch everyone else closely so I can call out if they’re being snuck up on.

"Savior, do you need help there?"

"No, Destroyer. Thank you. You need to be on the battlefront."

This part of the battle makes me so much more nervous, especially with how it’s been going so far. It’s looking like FEAR may retreat soon, but the problem is they never do that with dignity.

"The others, outside, how were they holding up when you last-"

"FEAR is advancing-"

"Oh fuck-"

"But they haven't taken anyone hostage, or destroyed any weapons."

FEAR loves to play dirty whenever they can, if they lose, they seek vengeance in the worst ways possible.

When I finally have treated the last of our own, I run back out to the battlefield. The casualties on FEAR’s side have increased, as hard as they’ve been fighting, they appear to be weaker than usual today. The problem I see is that their leader is eyeing up Mystic. "Oh fuck, we're in trouble if he goes."

Mystic is one of our most powerful team members, if not the most. He can kill so many at one time with just the slightest movement.

"Not to mention being able to literally raise Hell." I mumble to myself.

"He's a complete disaster of a person, but we can't lose him."

If they want to go after anyone who isn’t Prophet, then they want him.

Suddenly, the leader attempts to shoot Mystic.

"Mystic, watch out!"

Before I can do anything, Prophet sees and runs as fast as he can to push Mystic out of the way. As soon as he does this, he gets hit directly in the head. The blast was powerful enough to knock him unconscious.

Now that FEAR has taken our own leader down, they start running. I rush to Prophet’s aid, bringing him back to his tent so I can see what exactly happened.

"Prophet, can you hear me?"

"Is Mystic-"

"He's fine. I'm more concerned about you."

First I check for pulse. It’s still pretty strong, but I can tell that I need to act fast to keep him alive and well.

"Um….why is there no bullet?"

"It's not a bullet per se. It explodes on impact, but inserts sleeping meds into the bloodstream."

He was hit directly in the forehead, so I start running my hands over that area.

Thankfully everything else is normal with him, his breathing is fine, his pulse hasn’t changed, and there’s no sign of any blood loss.

"Do you have any-?"

"Please, stop talking. My head is killing me."

"Can someone get me pain meds from the cabinet!"

When I turn back to Prophet, he is out cold.

"So, should I-"

"Just leave them with me. If he needs them when he wakes up, I'll give them to him."

This is something he should be able to recover from quite quickly as soon as he wakes up.

"I heard Prophet got shot." Destroyer says, rushing to my side.

"He WHAT?" I look over at Mourner, who's mouth is agape. He runs out of the tent before I can explain.

"Apparently, it explodes on impact. But it-"

"Inserts sleeping chemicals into the brain. The recent file included a prototype."

"So Prophet is likely safe?"

"Unless he was hit with a large dose, yes. At most, he'll be incredibly groggy tomorrow morning."

For a moment, I decide to stand outside and take a break, hoping that going outside will calm my nerves. In the distance, I see Mourner and Mystic talking. At first I prepare to dismiss it as their usual flirting, but I quickly realize that isn’t the case. They’re arguing over something.

I have half the mind to get a little closer and see what they’re arguing about, but I know that one, it’s none of my business, and two, I’m responsible for Prophet right now. So, I go back inside. No more than a minute later, Prophet is moving. Then he opens his eyes.

“Hi, Prophet. How do you feel?” He sits up, and I can tell that he’s very confused.

"Oh god, my head."

"Here, take this." I say, shoving the bottle in front of his face. Prophet swiftly opens it and swallows a few of the pills.

He starts asking questions, so I explain what happened.

"Mystic-"

"Disobeyed my orders, I am aware."

I guess he was right after all about something being very wrong, and it almost did happen to Mystic, but he stopped that.

"Well, you stopped Mystic from dying, there's that."

Prophet starts to insist that he looks like a failure now. According to him, FEAR has seen him at his worst.

"FEAR makes sure to see everyone at their worst, Prophet. You shouldn't be hard on yourself for that."

I start trying to explain that his actions saved Mystic from exactly what he was worrying about, so now he should be able to keep calm and focus on his own healing.

Just when I think I’ve reassured him, he shakes his head. I try asking what’s wrong, but I don’t get a response. Suddenly, I hear yelling from outside.

"You should be really happy that Prophet got shot. In. The. Head!"

"Why would I be happy about that?"

Prophet stands up and we both step out to see Mourner and Mystic still arguing.

Then he plops back to the ground, and immediately begins sleeping again.

Upon looking closer, I realize that they aren’t really angry. Mystic looks like he’s trying to make some sort of point, he’s in tears over it, shouting at the top of his lungs. Mourner is trying to shout over him, and he looks like he’s trying to refrain from crying. Neither look truly angry, it almost looks like Mourner is trying to talk sense into Mystic about something.

As the yelling goes on, I get close enough to hear what’s being said. Now that I can understand their words, I can hear that they’re arguing about what happened with Prophet getting hit today.

I can only make out bits and pieces of what they’re saying and don’t hear what they’re arguing about.

"It was your mistake that caused him to push you out of the way. It's your mistakes today that led to Prophet getting shot in the head! You almost killed him, and I bet you're glad about it!"

All I do know is that I’ve never seen them like this. Both look severely distressed, and usually both of them are able to stay collected at all times.

"Boys, boys-"

"We're both 23!" Mourner shouts.

I can tell this is an ugly fight, and it looks like it’s only getting worse…

Mourner

My god, today has been beyond terrible. Something went horrifically wrong on the battlefield. Mystic got caught off track and almost got shot….

"Calm down, calm down. He didn't die."

Prophet pushed him out of the way and got shot in the head.

"No one died. Somehow."

I’ve felt beyond sick since this happened. I want to talk to Mystic about it, but I’m not sure how.

"Oh hey, please be a little more careful so that the one person holding everything together doesn't get shot in the head!"

Dwelling on it is only making it worse, but I have no idea what to say. I want to tell him it wasn’t his fault, but it happened because he wasn’t paying attention.

"Your crush on him shouldn't matter! Confront him about this!"

But it isn’t like he was purposely not paying attention, he was busy.

"And I don't think he was having an absence seizure-he was still in full control of his body."

But he was still being careless, and he could have been killed or hurt, or it could have hurt Prophet worse, maybe even killed him. I’m so upset, but I don’t know what to do.

"You know Mystic didn't mean to hurt anyone, just ask what the hell was going on!"

As soon as the battle ended and FEAR fucked off, Mystic went to his tent. I’m so upset about that for so many reasons. All I want to do is find the right words and talk it out with him, but I just can’t do it. But I have to, or it could get so much worse.

Eventually I just decide to suck it up and go talk to him. So, I walk over to his tent. I try to brace myself and breathe so I don’t say the wrong thing. “Mystic, come out. We need to talk.” My stomach drops a little from saying that. I don’t want to be like this.

"Mystic please. I just need to know what happened! What were you so distracted by?" I plead.

Unfortunately, I am met with him telling me to go away. He sounds upset. God, this is going to be difficult. I don’t really know if I’m ready to do this, but I have to. I tell him again to come out, and he does. His face is tear-stained. God, I can’t fucking do this.

“What do you want?” Mystic’s voice is breaking as he speaks. Deep breaths Mourner, you have to do this.

"Can I come in? Mystic, I just have a few questions."

"No. I know what you're going to say. I am aware that I almost killed our leader. I'm just as upset with myself as everyone else is with me, I can assure you."

I start being a little more insistent, because I know that Mystic talks to me more than almost anyone else, so if I can get him to talk to me, this should go easier.

"Mystic, we are all upset, but I want to know what happened. What were you so distracted with?"

The problem is that Mystic does not want to talk. I don’t know exactly what he’s feeling, but I can tell that it’s nothing good. We can work through this I think, but I have to get him to talk first. “Tell me what’s going on.” “Please leave me alone.”

Taking another deep breath, I continue trying to coax Mystic into conversing. Clearly he doesn’t want to talk about what happened, but I really need to get him to say something. "Mystic, I need you to-"

I grab his arm when he turns around to go back into his tent. He shakes it off.

"There's nothing to explain! I fucked up. I know that. So could you please not rub it in!"

I know he didn’t want to do that, and that’s the worst part of this. But he still almost killed our leader.

Suddenly, he lashes out. “Leave me the fuck alone!” When he yells that, I take a step back, almost brought to tears by the tone of his voice. He looks shocked that came out of him. After another moment of shock, he just turns away and tries to go back inside. How dare he? I’m trying to talk to him, I want to make this right, and he’s just ignoring me!

“Mystic, Prophet got shot!”

“And I’m sorry about that. But I can’t talk right now.” He keeps trying to get away, so I continue trying to talk. I can’t let him go like this, I need to close this off now.

"Mystic I-we-"

"I don't want to talk right now, so just leave me alone!"

We need to prevent something like this from happening again. And yet, once again, he turns away. It’s not that I think he doesn’t care, but he’s acting like it. I know it isn’t the case, but damn I have to get him to say something.

As soon as he turns away, I know I have to say something, anything to get his attention, even if it’s complete bullshit.

“You don’t care, do you?”

“I do care!”

“You don’t. So you should be really happy that Prophet got shot. In. The. Head.” He doesn’t even turn around. “Why would I be happy about that?”

I’m not happy about what I’m saying, but anything to get his attention. Now if I keep going with this, he’ll talk to me more. But it’s only going to get harder from here, now I have to say shit I don’t mean. “I mean, you caused it, so you must be thrilled!” Saying that hurts me so badly. I regret the words as soon as they come out.

Why are you doing this?

Mystic finally turns around and starts shouting at me. God, I didn’t mean to say that, I shouldn’t have said that.

"You think I don't care? Am I just as bad as Deviant to you? Do you think I intentionally let them hurt Prophet?"

"Mystic, I-"

"Do you think I'm working with FEAR? That I meant to hurt Prophet?"

I regret every word that comes out of my mouth as soon as it leaves. And I know I don’t want to keep this up, I know this is a bad idea, but I have to.

"I don't-"

“Ha. Yes you do. I didn’t mean to do that, it was a mistake!”

“But it was your mistake that caused him to push you out of the way. It’s your mistakes today that led to Prophet getting shot in the head! You almost killed him, and I bet you're glad about it!" I say that, and Mystic bursts into tears. I regret everything in an instant more than before. I start trying to apologize, but he doesn’t want to hear it.

"Boys, boys-"

"We're both 23!" I shout.

I turn to Mystic, who is crying. What I just said plays over, and I start to realize what I did.

“How could you even say that?”

“I didn’t mean-”

“Then why would you say it? I'm not 'glad' about it. You don't think I've been in this tent for an hour, berating myself?”

It’s taking me everything to not cry right now. This might just be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I feel awful for everything I’ve said. I’m no longer trying to talk about what happened, I’m just trying to apologize for what I said. And he’s not having it.

Neither of us are even presenting real points anymore, we’re just screaming at each other. Suddenly, Mystic says “go”. The tone of his voice is so stern and angry that I don’t even try to argue anymore, I just turn away and go.

Now that the fight is over, I can see that everyone was watching us the entire time. They’re all in just as much shock as I am. I never thought I would argue like that with Mystic.

"What-who are you, and what have you done with Mourner?"

I didn’t even want to, this was a mistake. He didn’t mean for this to happen. He didn’t start this petty ass argument, I did. I feel like burying myself in the dirt at the moment.

"It's me, Destroyer. How's Prophet?"

"It's not even a real gun."

My stomach drops. All that arguing.

"What?"

"I saw a prototype. The 'bullet' evaporates on impact, but it induces sleep. That's why Prophet went unconscious. He's not in danger of passing on."

"Good." I say, with a tiny quiver in my voice. I got so upset because I thought for sure Prophet was at risk of dying. I got so upset when I didn't need to be.

I know people are trying to check in on me, and I say nothing to any of them. I don’t deserve their pity. How am I supposed to make this right?

"I'm sorry, I need to be alone."

All I wanted to do was stop something like what happened today from happening again, and instead I made it a million times worse. I upset the person who means more to me than anything.

"Oh god, why did I say that? He probably hates me now, anything between us will be gone tomorrow."

I’m ashamed of myself, and no one is going to convince me that I shouldn’t be. The wind howling in my ears sounds just about right to represent the screaming in my mind right now.

When I finally make it to my tent, I burst into tears again. The weight of the words that came out of my mouth barely minutes ago are crushing my soul, dragging me into a heartache I never saw possible. Memories of me getting the call that Mariah died, seeing my mom bleed to death on the floor swirl in my head.

Did I ruin what we had?

The final memory clings to my chest, and I can hear 8 year old me crying with my mom.

There's a knock at the door, ripping my attention from the cereal in my bowl.

"I'll get it honey, don't worry."

My heart races. Dad and Peter are probably on the other side of that door!

"Yes, this is Mrs. Garret."

I don't recognize the man at the door. He does not look happy.

"Okay, thank you."

Mom closes the door, and sinks to the ground.

I had never seen her cry so hard in my life as she did when we learned my father and brother were never coming back. That was the first time I lost someone close to me.

"You've lost another one, and now it's your OWN DAMN FAULT!" I scream to myself.

Maybe I should start by apologizing, and acknowledge how petty the argument was. He made a mistake, I blew it up all because I wanted to talk to him.

"Prophet wasn't in any danger of getting killed, I shouldn't have said that you didn't care about it. I know you care about Prophet."

Maybe then he’ll be able to at least consider forgiving me.

"Key word is 'consider' forgiving you."

But he must think I’m an asshole after I said all that, and I don’t blame him. Hopefully he’ll at least talk to me.

"He probably never wants to talk to me again."

The wind outside suddenly starts to get louder, so I know that a storm is coming soon. I’ll have this storm to think over what I need to say. But it also reminds me of how sometimes Mystic and I would huddle together during storms because it made us both feel safer.

"Mystic, I'm so sorry! I know you care about Prophet, I know it was a mistake on your part, please forgive me!" I scream.

If I want to apologize, I need to take my time to make sure I say the right things. I rushed into that conversation about Prophet getting shot, and look where that got me! A new fear washes over me as I realize that this conversation could absolutely break our relationship if I do it wrong. I really need to think about it.

"Don't fuck this up, you have to get it right, you have to get it right."

After everything we’ve been through together, I know Mystic. He probably thinks I’m going to abandon him after everything I said. That feels like a knife to the heart. He’s feared that for so long, and now I’m playing into it. The guilt is overwhelming. If I don’t say something, he’ll probably never talk to me again.

With that thought, I stand up to go outside. But upon standing, I am met with the sound of harsh winds from outside. My tent is shaking. Looking outside a bit, I am met with the sight of one of the biggest dust storms I’ve ever seen. Barely taking the time to look at it, I go back in and do everything in my power to seal the doors shut. At least with this maybe neither of us will have time to think about the fight. We can fix this as soon as it’s over. Right?

"I mean, it'll give us time to cool down. Yeah, it'll be good for the both of us."

I’ll run outside, I’ll talk to him, and we’ll get things sorted out for real this time. Hopeful as I may be, something in my gut is making my stomach turn and tells me that won’t be happening…

Mystic

Absolutely nothing I could do right now would allow me to process what just happened. Today has been one of the worst days of my life.

"Well, at least you haven't been abandoned. They still care about me. I think."

Prophet almost died, and it’s my fault. To make matters worse, Mourner and I had the worst argument we’ve ever had.

"Oh God, he really hates me, doesn't he?"

After all this, I just wish I could disappear.

This is one of those moments where I wish I was able to travel back in time and slap myself for behaving the way I did. I got so caught up in the adrenalizing thrill of the battle, I was doing so well that I got caught off guard.

"Stupid, stupid. You should have paid more attention!"

I didn’t even see that I was about to be shot. Prophet pushed me out of the way so I didn’t fucking die, and now he could be dying or dead because he got shot instead. And it’s all my fault.

"It should have been him, not me!"

There’s nothing I can truly say to make matters any better. Everyone knows I’m in the wrong, they all saw Mourner and I arguing. And Mourner told me that Prophet could be dying.

"I should have tried to talk it out, I should have tried to explain myself, I shouldn't have given Mourner the impression that I didn't care."

All because I was too careless to look out for myself. I’m so stupid, how I’ve managed to survive this long is beyond me, and maybe I shouldn’t have.

"What were you even so distracted by?"

I go through my brain, trying to figure it out. Nothing.

"Great. Prophet's dying because you were distracted by something so insignificant you can't even remember what it was."

Maybe I should have taken the bullet instead, so I would simply have been able to die on my own without staying alive with blood on my hands.

Even worse is it isn’t just any blood. This wasn’t just any person dying, this is my brother and the leader of our entire army. He could be dying, and it is all my fault. For all I know, he could be dead right now.

"You are absolutely hopeless. You can't seem to do anything right."

No one would bother to tell me unless they were coming to remind me that it’s my fault, and would I blame them? Absolutely not. They would be right.

Even if Prophet does survive and turn out fine, it would still be my fault that happened to him.

"And he's probably going to walk away with extensive brain damage-oh god what have I done?"

I couldn’t bring myself to pay attention to the danger at hand, and he suffered as a result. How am I going to be able to face everyone once again after this? They’ll never forgive me, and I wouldn’t blame them at all. I’m never going to forgive myself for this, and their forgiveness is not something I expect to gain.

"Should I just leave everyone to fight? I wouldn't be dead weight anymore."

And what’s even worse somehow is that Mourner tried to talk to me afterwards. He wasn’t even angry, he was trying to see what happened that caught me so off guard. He wasn’t yelling at first, he was being patient with me.

"Why didn't I just talk with him? He got so pissed because I didn't want to explain myself."

Mourner was probably the only one willing to have any sort of patience with me, everyone else was probably pissed, and understandably so. And yet, I shut Mourner out. So he blew up.

"God, he probably thinks I'm just as awful as Deviant."

Even he knows that it’s my fault now. He’s been nothing but kind to me the entire time I’ve known him, he’s the person I’ve been in love with for so long now, and I probably destroyed anything good he thought of me. I’m the worst.

So how do I apologize? How am I supposed to bring myself to face everyone and make the worst thing I’ve ever done right?

"Mystic, they're gonna hate you for a long time after this."

There’s nothing I can do to fix this now. I’m no better than Deviant. I betrayed my own people. Possibly worse than he ever did.

"And Mourner was trying to be reasonable, and I blew up my chance to explain myself."

I never thought I would be able to say that, but after what happened today, I don’t think that’s a stretch.

I’ve been sitting alone with my thoughts in my tent for what feels like an eternity, but it’s probably been closer to about an hour. The one thought that repeats itself in my mind is that I fucked up beyond repair. Someone who means so much to all of us was gravely injured, and now everyone is going to want to kill me when they see me. And is it wrong that I would let them? Maybe that’s what I deserve after what I’ve done.

"I should probably just let them. Less mouths to feed, anyway."

The wind outside is starting to grow louder, and yet none of the noise is able to drown out my thoughts. The same words are circling in my head, over and over again. The same few thoughts are absolutely suffocating me. And yet I don’t want them to stop. This is the torment I deserve after the way I fucked up today. This is more merciful than what will happen if I go and try to explain myself to everyone after nearly killing Prophet.

I can hear the wind picking up, and I’m starting to be able to feel it too, it’s shaking my tent like crazy. Usually I would be terrified if something like this were happening. I would be hunting for Mourner so we could be with each other. But I’d rather shoot myself than do that now. After the way I acted, I don’t deserve that comfort. I can face this on my own.

"It's not like he ever wants to see me again."

Dealing with whatever the weather is right now is infinitely easier than what I will inevitably be met with when it’s over.

My stomach feels like it’s trying to escape my body from all of the stress I’m dealing with at the moment. My head is pounding and my eyes feel like they’re bleeding from crying so much. I should have just explained what happened, then I wouldn’t be in this mess. But maybe I didn’t deserve Mourner’s kindness after letting that happen to Prophet. Whatever rage I will face when this ends will be exactly what I deserve.

"Mourner, what made you think I didn't care about Prophet?"

As I use my arm to wipe the tears from my eyes, I get sand in them. That’s how I realize that the sand from the storm outside is starting to blow inside. My eyes are burning even worse now, but I’m not going to feel bad for myself about that. This is what happens when I allow someone I should be caring for to get hurt like that. This is the price of betrayal.

"I deserve all of this. Oh god, I'm so sorry, Prophet."

Just as I feel as if I have blinked the sand away, I hear what sounds like tearing from the bottom of the tent. Before I’m even able to truly be confused about what’s happening, the sides tear from the bottom up before it blows away entirely.

The entire thing is gone, and I can’t even see where it went because of the sand blowing all around me. I’m even more fucked now than I was five minutes ago, if that’s even possible. So, in violent frustration, I fall to the ground and cry out to any god, or possibly just no one, why? Is there a point to this madness? Screaming at the top of my lungs, I remember how I got here in the first place. Because I've been nothing but a burden my entire life, and it’s all I’ll truly ever be. No matter how hard I try to be the person who is best for everyone else, I’ll always fuck that up.

"Eventually. I knew this would happen sooner or later."

And in the end, I will wind up suffering as a result. It would be best if I just ran away.

Trying to see through the gusts of sand surrounding me, I can make out vague shadowy forms that are approaching me gradually. Probably Mourner and Destroyer coming to tell me how bad I really fucked up. Time to face what I’ve known was coming for some time now. They’re going to abandon me, they’re going to tell me that they don’t want me with them anymore, that I’m no longer going to be of any use to them.

Suddenly I realize that this isn’t Mourner or Destroyer, or any of the Wild Ones for that matter. These people are FEAR officials. Unfortunately, I realize that too late.

"M-"

By the time I can finally tell, one grabs me and covers my mouth.

"Like those freaks will be able to help you now."

Before I can even make the move to run away, something hits me on the back of the head, so hard that I automatically black out…

Prophet

The floor around me seems to be swaying as I find myself making an attempt to pace the room. After getting hit in the head earlier today, I wound up with a pretty bad head injury and it’s left me kind of disoriented, so I’m quite a bit slowed down today.

"Knock knock."

"Who-oh, hi Savior. What happened yesterday? I know I got shot in the head."

"That's…not exactly what happened."

"Huh?"

"Apparently-" Savior begins, holding out a serving of breakfast for me to take "-the 'bullet' evaporates on impact, but injects sleeping chemicals. You're safe, but if you feel incredibly tired, that's why."

I mean, I'm always tired."

"I need to check up on everyone." I say after a few bites.

I’m absolutely exhausted at this moment in time but this is my job.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

I can’t let my people down more than I already have. They’ve struggled so much lately, the least I can do is push myself to be a better leader. So I can be as exhausted as I want, but I can’t just go back to sleep.

"Savior, it's my job to make sure everyone is alive. I need to do this."

One of the only things I really remember between getting hit in the head and rushing into my tent to shelter myself from the storm was hearing a MAJOR argument between Mourner and Mystic. I can’t tell what it was about, honestly, it was so hard to tell.

"I heard a little bit of the argument. What-"

"Mourner thought that you'd gotten shot with an actual bullet. He tried to get Mystic to talk, and eventually accused him of being happy that he almost killed you."

I am speechless.

"Is this-"

"Yeah, we were just as shocked."

Everyone knows they have a thing for each other, they usually follow each other around and try to give every hint possible that one is interested in the other. But this was something so serious, and my injury is where that all came from. Maybe I need to check on them first.

Once I step outside, right off the bat I look around and notice an empty space.

"Um, where is Mystic's tent?"

Despite the fact that I have no idea what happened, my stomach drops to my knees. Something bad definitely happened here.

"No, come on, Prophet. It's probably just the grogginess."

I try to move towards the area and wind up falling. Destroyer rushes to my aid as soon as he sees me and pulls me up. “You okay man?”

“I’m fine, I promise.”

He helps me get back up.

“Stick with me, you shouldn’t be going around like this on your own.” I just nod my head and lean on him a little as we move towards the blank space.

“This is Mystic’s tent.” Destroyer trails off as he says this.

“He and Mourner probably weathered the storm together and put aside their differences.”

"Hopefully with a kiss. Or some declaration of love."

"We can only hope." I say.

For a moment I’m ready to move on and accept that, but my gut is telling me that something is very wrong here.

"No, something is telling me we need to get closer." I’d love to be able to dismiss it as just paranoia, but I know how I’ve felt worrying about Mystic these past few days. So, I continue looking around the area, trying to find any sort of sign that something went wrong here.

Suddenly, I see the corner of what looks like paper buried under the sand.

"Destroyer, I found something!"

"What is it?" He says, rushing over.

I bend down to pick it up and wind up falling over again. Destroyer helps me up and picks it up for me, handing it to me. It’s a note of some type. I’m having a bit of trouble reading it, so I hand it to Destroyer and ask him to read it to me.

“To which of you it may concern: We have been observing you for some time, and during battle today the group of you made a fatal mistake. You took your eyes off of one of your own, one of your stronger soldiers, and now you will suffer the consequences. We have captured him and brought him along with us. Do not expect to see his return, as it will not happen. Now you vermin will feel the regret you should have felt from the start as one of your own tells us your every secret in hopes of sparing his life.”

My head is swirling at this point. Destroyer is trying to talk to me, but I can’t understand a single word. How am I supposed to break the news to everyone else, especially Mourner?

"I-I need to talk with Mourner. Now."

Mystic and Mourner have been in love for so long, and yet they don’t even seem to get that the other is in love with them. Despite this, I know they’d die for each other, so how am I supposed to tell him that Mystic is gone and we have no idea if we’ll ever see him back again. And it isn’t like Mystic just wandered off, he was kidnapped. They’re definitely torturing him and possibly preparing to execute him.

It takes me forever to gain enough composure to understand what Destroyer is saying. “Can you hear me?” I nod my head.

"Destroyer, how do you think Mourner will respond to this?"

"Complete panic and despair is my guess."

Both of us just sit there processing everything, and neither of us speak.

"Well, we need to tell the others. I'll tell Savior, but-"

"Don't worry. I'll tell Mourner."

I have no idea whatsoever how Mourner is going to react to hearing that Mystic is gone, especially with how their last moments together were so bitter. And yet, Destroyer is already going to talk to Savior, so I need to act now.

"Can't put this off. It's better if he knows soon. Then we can make a plan."

There isn’t any time for me to stand around and figure out how to word this, we need to work fast so we have a fighting chance of saving Mystic. He could be murdered, and we only have so much time to stop that from happening. I still have no clue how I’m supposed to tell Mourner about this. He could react so strongly, in a way that I wouldn’t be prepared to handle.

"Oh hey, your crush of five years is missing and was kidnapped by FEAR!"

My head is still spinning, and I feel like I’m about to throw up. How the hell could this have happened? I mean I can see how it happened, but usually if it was this bad, Mystic would have gone to Mourner. They’ve done it before, and that was the first time Destroyer and I truly realized they liked each other, when they spent a night together during a storm and the next morning they were both blushing like crazy.

"There-nothing happened between us! We were…just sleeping together."

"I think Mystic wanted something to happen."

Destroyer mumbles.

"It certainly sounds like it." I whisper back.

Watching their denial was hysterical.

As much as I’d love to look back on better moments, now is not the time. I need to go in there and say something. Whatever that might be, I’ll figure it out when I get there. I feel as if there’s nothing in my mind as I approach Mourner’s tent, my legs preparing to give out as I enter.

"It's now or never, and he needs to know."

Once I walk through, I fall onto the floor, being caught by Mourner. “You look horrific.” “So do you,” I say as I look up at him. He’s been crying for quite some time, I can tell from his red eyes and puffy face.

"I heard about your blow up with Mystic."

I know why he was crying, it’s obvious. Telling him this is going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

“What’s up? If it isn’t an emergency, please make it quick. I need to talk to Mystic.” He tries to walk out of the tent, but I stop him.

"Please, I need to see him. I need to apologize!"

Hearing these words come from Mourner makes my heart sink, almost more than my stomach did. He desperately wants to see Mystic again, I can tell. That may never happen. God, I need to get this over with before it’s too late.

Taking a deep breath, I just let it out. “Mystic is gone.”

“He’s WHAT?”

Holding back tears of my own, I hand the note to Mourner. He looks it over multiple times, reading every single word over and over again, his eyes frantically darting around the paper.

"No, no, he can't be gone."

He seems unable to process the very idea that Mystic is gone. I don’t blame him, but now I have to worry about his reaction.

Suddenly, the note falls from his hands as he falls to his knees. His eyes show a look of the utmost despair and fear, and yet not a single tear is shed. He is unable to cry, this all came on too fast.

"This is some joke, isn't it? He's jus-"

"No. No it's not. Mystic's tent blew away in the storm. FEAR officials captured him."

His breathing is shallow, and I see his face going several shades paler. I want to say something more, to tell him that we need to act, but what am I supposed to say to a man who just lost the love of his life?

For a moment he lays there, seeming barely aware of his surroundings, and I would almost go as far as to say he fainted. Suddenly, his entire expression changes, and he starts sobbing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone cry like this before.

"I should have been there. I should have been able to protect him!"

I can’t even bring myself to say a single word. Nothing I can say would make this the slightest bit better.

Destroyer walks in, and I can tell that he’s just as worried as I am, but neither of us are going to have the same reaction Mourner is. No one knows quite how this is going to play out, but we know that shit is hitting the fan as we speak. And for all we know, the worst is yet to come. How we’re going to find Mystic, if we do at all, is not going to be in a good state. We’ll be lucky to find him alive.

The three of us are here, all of us completely unable to figure out what to do. Savior is yet to make an appearance, and I don’t blame him for hiding out. He’s most likely worried that his daughter could be hurt next, so he’s probably going to be hiding out for a while. Right now we need to figure out what to do about Mystic.

Mourner is starting to ramble about everything with this situation, and at first he is so hysterical that I can’t understand a word he says. Once I can finally make out what he’s saying, my heart absolutely breaks yet again.

"Why did I get into that argument? I shouldn't have screamed at him, why did I say he never cared?"

Once again, neither of us is willing to say anything. All I can do is embrace him in a hug as he cries. What is there to say? Are we supposed to lie to him and reassure him that everything will be okay? We know that’s a lie, we know how high the stakes are and how unlikely it is now that Mystic will ever come back. All we can do is figure out where he is and how to get him back, then hope for the best from there.

"We're gonna fight like hell to get him back, Mourner. You know that."

"He's probably dead by now!"

It feels like an eternity of hearing Mourner cry before he suddenly stands up and leaves without another word. I know we should probably stop him, worrying about losing him as well, but I have a gut feeling telling me to leave him alone. When Destroyer goes to follow him, I take him by the wrist and stop him.

As I truly begin to realize how much chaos is beginning to unfold, I can only hear the small voice in the back of my head, the same one I would always hear as a child, that knew only some sort of God could save us now. But God does not exist, I cannot deny. And yet, I know that my whole being cries out for a god.

All I know now is that nothing can save us. Only our own actions will determine whether or not we see Mystic again, and that isn’t looking good for us at the moment. What we can do is something we’ll have to figure out as time goes on. And yet, that’s time we don’t have. What little time we do have is running out fast. If we don’t act now, we’ll only be seeing Mystic if we manage to find his corpse…

#black veil brides #jinxx #bvb #lonny eagleton #andy biersack #cc coma #jake pitts #wretched and divine

6 notes · View notes