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igirisuhito · 4 years

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Something Close To Domestic, Maybe - Chapter 18 "Spring Cleaning" | A commentary/analysis/rambling

[Link to fic]

On the permission of @mystxmomo, I thought I may do a brief analysis/commentary on this chapter, as it delves into some issues very near and dear to my heart.

Spoilers below the cut, of course.

A disclaimer: As of late, I do the beta work for SCTDM. My work is simple grammatical and spelling errors, help the story make sense. I do not steer the story. This analysis will be both a mix of thoughts born from reading the fic, and some things I have spoken with Red about. The majority being the former.

This chapter focused on Komaeda engaging in a bit of Spring Cleaning, a desire that tends to come around as the weather gets warmer. The fic switches between Komaeda making his way around the house, and a flashback of his time in despair, mutilating himself to replace his arm with Enoshima's. At first glance it seems like an incredibly stark contrast, something so horrific and gory next to something so domestic. But that is not the case whatsoever.

We first get an insight in the detriment of Komaeda's condition. It has grown to the point that he can no longer leave the laundry room for fear of forgetting the task he had begun. It is an unfortunate reality, something scary. He leaves himself alone with his thoughts, something Komaeda is not known to do. It is mentioned in previous chapters that he prefers to have white noise, old VHS tapes playing on a cruddy little TV. Even if it something Kamukura does not enjoy, it is something he lets Komaeda have.

Komaeda reflects on his love for Kamukura, perhaps what can even be referred to as the "Honeymoon Phase". The times when he served a purpose, and that purpose was to serve. When Kamukura kept him under lock and key, commanding his behaviours.

It is toxic, incredibly so. But for Komaeda, it is easy. Independence renders him useless, left to his own devices he cannot fulfil his purpose and be appreciated for it. He has desires he indulges in, like any other human. Selfish desires he does not believe he deserves.

He has sewn new seeds. Fresh sunflower buds for the spring. He whispers horrid things to them. I am unbearably curious to see how the flowers grow. The garden has always been a metaphor for their relationship, how it has changed throughout the seasons reflects their own relationship. After the harsh cold of winter, new seeds are sewn, they need to start anew. The ground is damp, and Komaeda has fresh eyes on their relationship.

Another parallel I heavily enjoyed with the garden is their participance in tending to it. Komaeda tends year round, he loves the garden. Kamukura assists when he feels like it, typically when he is trying to understand his own feelings. He feels mostly indifferent towards the garden, it is a simple display of the cycle of nature.

Komaeda is mad, at Kamukura. He's overstimulated and easily irritated. The scene in which he cleans around Kamukura is a very important one, it highlights the way their relationship has changed.

A good analogy would perhaps be of a housewife working to make dinner, as her husband sits by idly watching TV. Is Kamukura working? Yes. But it is not something that takes effort, it comes easily to him. He knows exactly what would make Komaeda more comfortable in the moment, and yet he makes no attempt to help him. Thus Komaeda continues his work.

It is not entirely the fault of Kamukura. He values Komaeda's work less as it has always been something that comes naturally to him. Cleaning is not difficult. Working in silence is not difficult. He does not understand Komaeda's struggles, for he cannot relate to them.

The mirror is another important highlight to the relationship of Kamukura and Komaeda. Kamukura does not question when Komaeda covers it up, meaning he understands his reasoning behind it. And yet, despite how easy it would be for him to remove the mirror, to make Komaeda more comfortable in his own skin, he has never made the effort to. Komaeda has never asked him too, and Komaeda would never dare ask something of Kamukura.

In the next scene, I'd like to mention something I adore about Red's writing of Kamukura. The description of how he avoids the eyes of others, is rather "Looking at everything". It's a truly beautiful description, something I can deeply relate to as an autistic individual. Red's interpretation of Kamukura tends to align with many autistic traits, this is intentional on her part. It's just such a big thing for me, as someone who tends to avoid my eyes, and has difficulty staying in the conversation. How the littlest sound can draw my attention away. "Looking at everything", how gorgeous.

The comparison of how Enoshima drew a crowd with love and deceit, and how Kamukura draws a crowd with respect and fear. How they were both incredibly powerful people that Komaeda was drawn to.

When we return to Komaeda, he is scrubbing the bathroom. It is mentioned that when his hands begin to hurt, he only scrubs harder. To some, this appears as a man who is working hard, pushing himself a healthy amount. In reality, Komaeda is self-harming. This part is really the whole reason I wanted to do this analysis, so please excuse me for any analogies towards my own life.

Cleaning is always seen as something incredibly healthy and productive. Humans cannot live in filth, that is a fact. A tidy room, a tidy mind, some may say. But for some, particularly disabled people, cleaning can be used as an act of self harm.

Not only is he hurting his hands by scrubbing too hard, exposing himself to chemicals, but he is doing this in silence. He is working alone, his partner idly standing by, and in complete silence. He is alone with his thoughts, he may think about anything, convince himself of things that are not happening. Komaeda and Kamukura do not have the kind of relationship in which they talk to each other about how they feel.

Another form of self harm in cleaning, the one I relate to the most, is the reflection of possessions. Komaeda sits there and sorts his medications, medications he does not wish to take. He takes them for Kamukura's sake, even if they cause him harm, cause him to feel ways he is not used to.

It's an awkward conversation to have with someone. "I would prefer to be killed by my condition than keep taking these." It is easier to leave it alone, let someone smarter than himself handle it. If there were some painfully adverse side-effects, I doubt Komaeda would say anything.

My room is a trap. It is full of possessions that remind me of the person I used to be. Clothes that have grown too small, schoolbooks that have lost their worth, medications that have caused more harm than good. It is painful, something I cannot sort through alone. And yet, on the days I feel worst, as alone as I could possibly be, I feel the urge to clean my room the strongest. To move and clean until all sorts of muscles are pulled from disuse and my arms ache so badly I could cry. This is where I really relate to Komaeda.

Kamukura brings up the fact that Komaeda has not eaten, another form of self harm. Forcing himself to work hard on little food, little energy. It is unlikely that his stomach does not ache. Komaeda goes to the kitchen to make himself something, as he feels he owes Kamukura an explanation, and yet he does not have one. It is easier to just to submit, and to eat something.

And the final form of self harm, running himself into the ground. The meltdown at the end of the day, when everything is tidy and all the chores are nearly complete, it finally hits. And one can't help but feel failed, because they didn't manage to complete everything before they fell apart.

But of course that were going to happen. Nobody can do that much, hurt themselves that much, and make it through without a hitch. It's an unreasonable expectation. And yet, we do these things to test ourselves, see if we are still worthy of love. Worthy of being taken care of when we do fall apart. When somebody comes to clean up the stupid mess we made or comes to stop us from hurting ourselves any further.

But it is not their job to, and Komaeda knows this. It is not Kamukura's responsibility to take care of him. But he is selfish, and he wants Kamukura to do more for him. To acknowledge him, to call out to him, to give him the emotional support he never gave before.

It's human. He is beginning to notice the cracks in their relationship. The difficulty of dating someone with such low empathy.

These last few despair scenes are incredibly important, in the contrast of things. Komaeda rambles away about his thoughts and feelings to Kamukura, who remains uncaring towards them. Komaeda calls him out on his game, he knows what he is playing at. Despite stating that the matter bores him, Kamukura stays to witness. This kind of challenging is something Komaeda no longer does, challenging Kamukura on his ideas and feelings has grown tiresome when Kamukura never appears to change.

Kamukura does not finish the job for Komaeda, he allows him to fail, and come back to it. It is a risky choice, but he knows Komaeda will make it. I can't help but wonder if Kamukura believes he can act the same way. He sees Komaeda doing something that will hurt him, and allows for it to take its course, for Komaeda to hurt himself.

The problem is, their relationship has changed. Komaeda is becoming less and less capable of picking himself up, of taking care of himself. He has expectations of Izuru, now. They are in a relationship. When Komaeda hurts himself, it has an impact on Kamukura. Perhaps it is his own sense of self-harm, allowing them to continue to be like this. Pretending things are the same as they were before. He is struggling, emotions are returning to him, and he does not know what to do with them.

#Danganronpa #SCTDM #Kamukura Izuru #Komaeda Nagito #Kamukoma #Mystxmomo #One day I will make something to honour this fic i swear #I keep thinking about it #This chapter was so incredibly important to me #ALSO please do not give me pity for being sick I just really like being able to relate #Alister Rambles

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firelxdykatara · 5 years

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If Zutara were to be canon,thanks to Aaron Ehasz,how will this affect Legend Of Korra?

This is a difficult question to answer, mostly because it would of necessity rely on a whole lot of assumptions and biases, and without asking Aaron himself (in private, where he wouldn’t have to worry about kicking off another fandom war), it’s impossible to answer with any degree of certainty.

Now, I can talk about how I, personally, think things would have been different if Zutara had been canon–which, for me, means that the epilogue of book 3 was just the tea shop scene, and we got a book 4 where, as Aaron briefly mentioned on twitter and in various interviews, the consequences of energy-bending were explored, the lost Air Nomads were found, Azula had her redemption arc (which would probably have tied into the search for Ursa, which I would’ve loved to see Aaron’s take on in book 4, especially considering the crap the comics handed to us), and Zuko and Katara grew closer and entered into a relationship by the end of the season.

(Before I start exploring this in more depth, I want to head off ‘delusional Zutarian’ arguments at the pass–I’m not saying it’s 100% confirmed that Aaron was planning to make ZK canon in book 4. I am saying (as I’ve said before) that, given the set up and development in canon, and the way Aaron himself has talked about how he develops characters and relationships, I believe he (and other writers/artists/crew members) was leaning heavily towards that particular relationship and would have explored it further in book 4 had he been allowed to.)

Putting the rest under a read more cause this got long.

We know some of what Aaron had plans for–Azula’s redemption, the consequences of energybending, the lost Air Nomads–but nothing super concrete. Going from that, then, I believe that in Book 4, the Gaang would have split up for a good chunk of it. (Please note that most of the rest of this is pure speculation.) There’s a lot of ground Book 4 would’ve had to cover–the Gaang in the beginning would’ve split off to head to their respective homes (Sokka and Katara to the SWT, Suki to Kyoshi Island, Toph… ok, Toph probably just stuck around Caldera and this would’ve been a great time to have the Toph&Zuko life-changing-field-trip episode we were denied in canon) to touch base with the families and friends they’d left behind to go on their save-the-world tour.

For his part, Aang would’ve returned to Guru Pathik. While he got a last-second Hail Mary (in the form of a conveniently placed rock, which still boggles my mind, but whatever) when fighting Ozai, he still was not a fully realized Avatar, and since I’m bitter that the Guru Pathik/chakras plot was almost entirely dropped after the book 2 finale, I’m saying he’d have gone back to finally finish that training because it makes sense and because I can. Anyway, he returns to the Guru, and by this point he has accepted that Katara doesn’t return his feelings the way he’d like her to (a call back to The Fortuneteller, which should have been foreshadowing for Aang’s emotional growth, barring the last twenty seconds of the episode).

Furthermore, he’s learned that ‘letting her go’ doesn’t mean he can’t care about her or want her in his life to be the Avatar (after all, previous Avatars have had love and even been married–Kuruk isn’t that great of an example, given that his love life got him killed, but Kyoshi lived over two centuries and had multiple loves over her incredibly long life, and Roku was married and had descendants of his own), it just means letting go of his expectations–letting go of the selfish aspects of his love, the parts that lead him to nod in agreement when actors on a play told fake!Katara ‘I thought you were the Avatar’s girl’, and that lead him to expect her to return his feelings and push against her boundaries when she told him she wasn’t sure and was confused. (He said “We kissed at the invasion and I thought we were gonna be together, but we’re not.” even though a) he kissed her without any warning, she did not kiss him, and she looked away and frowned afterwards, and b) she never once brought up the kiss again or hinted that her feelings towards him had changed and become romantic, so he had no reason to believe they’d ‘be together’.)

Ok that was a bit of a tangent, but the upshot is, Guru Pathik helps Aang fully master the Avatar State. While on that particular journey, Aang has to deal with the consequences of energybending–he pulled Ozai’s energy into himself, and he has to deal with the sudden darkness that was absorbed into his spirit. He also receives some sort of hint, possibly from a dream or meeting with a spirit, that with balance returning to the world, the Air Nomads can start to return, too.

Sokka, Suki, and Toph wind up going with Aang on his journey to figure out just what the spirits meant by that. They discover that the Air Nomads weren’t totally eradicated by Sozin (which would’ve been impossible, since we already know that inter-nation relationships happened in the past [Avatar Kyoshi’s mother was an airbender], and they were, well… nomads), but those who survived (because they weren’t at the temples at the time, or some who hadn’t attained mastery managed to escape) assimilated into the Earth Kingdom and even some in the Fire Nation. Because the world was incredibly out of balance following the decimation of the Air Nomad population, and because many of them were suddenly in a situation where showing they were airbenders was a death sentence, their spirit as a population was almost completely broken, and they stopped being able to airbend. In the present, Aang finds descendants of Air Nomad survivors, including Ty Lee (and, in my HC, Jet, who shows up alive bc I want him to get the healing arc he didn’t get in canon) who are beginning to discover they can airbend.

Meanwhile, Zuko asked Katara to accompany him on his journey to find his mother–it’s a callback to TSR, when he helped her gain closure for her mother’s murder, and since he wants to bring Azula too, he asked for Katara’s help sister-wrangling. They eventually find Ursa (who did not willingly forget her children, and who did not send a letter to her former lover to make Ozai question Zuko’s paternity, because in the show she was not a horrible person and she loved her children more than anything tyvm), as well as Kiyi (the only good thing to come out of that comic), and Azula finally gets the sort of closure she could never have before, and there is a heavy focus on her emotional journey. Zuko is there to support her, and Katara is there to support Zuko. In the process, Katara winds up with an odd sort of mildly antagonistic friendship with Azula, who gets to a point where she can good-naturedly tease Katara about her growing feelings for Zuko.

ANYWAY. I realize you were asking primarily how it would affect LoK, and I went on a whole ass book 4 tangent. So here’s how I see it changing the landscape in LoK.

First of all, Katara is granted the importance she is due. She has a statue in most major cities, including both Caldera and Republic City. Katara married Zuko and became one of the most beloved Fire Ladies in Fire Nation history, partly because she didn’t assimilate and give up her own home and culture, and she never hesitated to speak her mind during council meetings. It put off much of the nobility, especially in the first few years of their marriage, but Zuko had survived many an assassination attempt by then, and he valued his wife’s input above his closest advisors and never made a secret of it. The nobles could either accept it or risk losing their titles, which several of them did because they figured the Fire Lord was bluffing, only to find out he wasn’t in the slightest.

Katara was also active in the White Lotus, which she wound up leading along with Sokka and Zuko (who’d passed the mantle of Fire Lord onto their eldest daughter, Izumi, once they felt she was ready to lead), and when Aang passed away, they immediately began the search for the next Avatar.

Most of Korra’s early life would’ve been the same, Katara and Sokka saved her from the Red Lotus’ kidnapping attempt, and she wound up raised at the White Lotus compound where she learned waterbending, firebending, and earthbending, and was on the cusp of learning airbending from Tenzin (who was Aang’s kid with someone else–given his design, his mother could’ve been literally anyone, Toph or one of the returned Air Nomads or someone else entirely) when he got called back to Republic City, and she followed.

From here, well… ok, there’s a lot I would change about LoK just in general. Thinking specifically of how Zutara would have affected things, and with the stipulation that Aaron was still the head writer for LoK, I like to think that Katara wouldn’t have been rendered weak and useless (seriously, a bloodbender locked away Korra’s bending, but Katara–allegedly the most powerful waterbender alive, and the one who single-handedly got bloodbending outlawed–couldn’t undo it with bloodbending???), and would have been allowed to, for example, fight to protect her family (while Tenzin and his children wouldn’t have been her direct relations [unless, instead of Pema, he wound up marrying Zuko and Katara’s youngest daughter??? that’s an idea], they would still have been family, as Aang’s only living descendants) and taken a more active part in the water tribe civil war (which would have been given the narrative arc it was due instead of being a half-assed vehicle for ridiculous spirit world shenanigans). And besides, a gaang reunion episode where Zuko, Katara, Suki (because screw LoK for having her just up and disappear lmfao) and Toph fight the Red Lotus together just like old times??? That would’ve been fucking amazing.

(We got to see old ass men in AtLA fight like they were in their prime, including one who was over a century old. What was LoK’s excuse???)

Since we got the return of the Air Nomads in book 4 of LoK there would be no need for the spirit portals or the ‘harmonic convergence’, and instead Korra’s spiritual journey hinges on her trauma from the end of Book 1. The biggest difference, here, is that I have always been incredibly dissatisfied with the fact that Korra just stared sadly over the edge of a cliff and was suddenly able to unlock the Avatar State and get her bending back. Keeping in mind the way Aaron Ehasz excelled at character journeys in the original show, I think she should have ended book 1 with her bending locked completely. Katara was able to reverse whatever it was Amon did to her (and Amon, by the way, didn’t get killed–the Equalists also didn’t just disappear, and the thread of nonbender oppression carries through the rest of the series, to be revisited and finally resolved in book 4), but it didn’t give Korra her bending back, because the trauma she suffered was just as psychological as it was a physical block to her bending.

Book 2, therefore, would’ve included a narrative thread of Korra needing to go on her own spiritual journey to unlock her chakras and regain her bending, finally able to reac the Avatar State when the civil war between the water tribes reached a head, and she is finally able to broker peace, having learned a great deal about herself and her connection to the past avatars.

I realize that I’ve kind of derailed pretty far off the original point, so I’ll stop here with a general note that while Zutara, as a relationship, doesn’t affect a whole lot of this directly (for the most part it would just affect the parentage of the Gaang kids who showed up, the designs of some, and their relationships with each other and possibly with Korra)–however, with the addition of Book 4 and keeping Aaron’s writing talents for LoK, the landscape of the entire sequel would be altered. I’d like to think that he would’ve preferred writing a coherent narrative that did justice to the characters even if it meant ending the show with unresolved plot threads (especially since they could wrap things up with comics which, in this alternate timeline, are actually good and in character because I want to have my cake and eat it too), so rather than being disconnected plots that didn’t make much sense when each individual villain could’ve served as the entire series Big Bad, much of books 2 and 3 would’ve involved smaller scale plots and villains, with Amon returning for book 4 and everything getting wrapped up far more neatly than it did in canon.

TL;DR: while Zutara itself wouldn’t necessarily change a whole lot (it would affect Book 4 and the post-atla comics more) outside of the different Gaang kids and their dynamics, the show as a whole would’ve been vastly different if the writing team for LoK had been the same–including Aaron as head writer–as the writing team for AtLA.

Bryke were great Big Picture guys, great vision and visual guys, I’ve never disputed that. But they sucked at not missing the forest for the trees. They sucked at romance. And they really sucked at coherent plot and character development, especially in the small scale.

#atla #zutara #lok #bryke salt #kinda sorta #just covering my bases really #fantasticanimefan #asked

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heizerux · 5 years

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Battle of the Miraculous (Love Eater and Miracle Queen) Analysis (Few Translations included)

“Some people may have their problems, but at the end everything will be okay.”

—Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Miracle Queen Monologue)

(Disclaimer: Budgets and animation production play a huge part in how episodes are made and released . . . but this time it was straight up the network’s choice and a bad one :| Also I’m fully aware Chat Blanc and Felix may answer a few extra things, but for now I’ll just talk about what I’ve seen.)

I’ll be going over the finale in the Topics:

Hesitations

Relationships

Beginning of the End

The Future? (Season 4 Talk)

I rewatched the episode with subs I could fully read and understand so I’m ready to talk about it now. Let's go. . .

FYI: I’m gonna be mainly dissecting Miracle Queen because A LOT happened here that I HAVE TO let out.

Hesitations

In Heart Hunter/ Love Eater we got a good consensus of how every character is doing. To summarize, we know Luka has deeply fallen for Marinette and constantly thinks about the song that is her. Kagami is much closer to Adrien and is open about her feelings to him. Luka and Kagami are also now officially good friends with their supposed love rival. Really everyone is getting along PERFECTLY. . . . But then Kagami and Adrien get much closer and all Marinette can do is just let the one she loves go.

In Miracle Queen, Marinette cries to Luka and admits in her monologue that nothing is going and if anything things are painful. . . but that it’s nice to have someone that’s there for her when she need it. . . this someone being Luka. Before the bees attack, Marinette makes a move to move on by wanting to hear his finalized song, but Luka questions an important question:

“You’re still thinking about Adrien?”

Meanwhile, Adrien breaks away from the kiss with an “Oh! Uh, it’s my first time, I’m not ready!” excuse even though it’s clear he’s unsure about advancing things with Kagami. But then her version of the important question is:

“But when will you be ready, Adrien? . . Your hesitation hurts.”

*queue the bees* So as of this point, Adrien and Marinette have finally faced their actual obstacle in terms of romance: Their HESITATIONS.

This entire season, we’ve had instances in which Adrienette has had the thought of wanting to be something more (either through a crush or Plagg’s perseuations), but there was always the thought of “But there’s Luka/Kagami. . .” Ikari Gozen shed this for Marinette, Stormy Weather 2.0 shed this for Adrien. . .

Anyways Chloe calls forward people who have held a miraculous and exposes them (both in identity and diss lol) btw she did say Luka looked “kinda cute”

Ladybug and Chat Noir find each other confused as to how things went south so fast and Chat just asks “What did Fu tell you?”, to which Ladybug basically answers “Nothing” and has break down admitting she accidentally lead Hawkmoth to Fu.

Relationships

This moment right here. . . it's IMPORTANT.

Chat sees Ladybug vulnerable and consoles her letting her know to focus on saving Fu and not to worry more on the rest mistakes. Ladybug thanks him and the two hug. . . but like ACTUALLY hug.

I’m not talking someone hugging the other in attempt to save the other from harm, but an actual genuine friendly hug. Chat Noir isn’t being flirty or making advances, and Ladybug isn't annoyed or pushing Chat away. Their relationship as heroes is no longer just partners. . . but officially CLOSE FRIENDS.

Moving on, they kick ass, get the likely to be former wielders’ miraculous back and face off with Chloe. To summarize, she tells Ladybug that she’s the real enemy because she doesn’t trust her and goes on to equip all the miraculous. She tries to use them all but all the kwamis basically told her to go fuck herself in the form of “You don’t even know our commands.”

Oh, but what’s this? ANOTHER advancement in the Ladynoir relationship. Ladybug turns to Chat all vulnerable once more, and he picks her back up. This is the first time in a WHILE (since Origins) that Ladybug had confided in Chat with her vulnerability and fears of failure TWICE in ONE day. Don’t forget about this for next season.

The Beginning of the End

After telling Ladybug that she now has all the keys and knowledge about the miraculous, Fu then decides its time. No not the grim kind of time, but the time to finally pass on the torch to Ladybug. He officially denounces his role as guardian, which renders all inactive miraculous useless. (I’m actually not certain but it IS what I noticed considering the active miraculous were still working but the inactive ones became empty jewelry shells as the kwamis got transferred into a brand new box for Ladybug. I’m sure S4 will have the answers here.) Hawkmoth is literally disappointed and leaves with a weaker Mayura.

Chloe angrily tells Ladybug she just wants to be Queen Bee and be the REAL MAIN HERO, to which Ladybug simply answers “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do that, Chloe.” Chloe then throws a tantrum saying “FINE! I am not your fan anymore. I will go live with my mom because you don’t even deserve to breath the same air as ME.” and runs away.

Oh yeah, Chat lost Hawkmoth and Mayura :D. . . . *high five*

ANYWAYS, Ladybug and Chat Noir go to vibe check on Fu while Gabriel vibe checks Nathalie. One is alive and well and the other is alive and. . . yeah.

KEEP IN MIND, NATHALIE NOW HAS ACQUIRED THE INFO SHE NEEDED FROM FU’S BELONGINGS TO REPAIR THE PEACOCK MIRACULOUS. DO NOT FORGET THIS FOR NEXT SEASON.

Back to Fu, he wakes up but. . . ya GUESSED IT (or didn't) . . . lost his memory along with his duties as guardian and this marks the END of an era. . .

ML LORE: THE GUARDIAN RULE IS THAT YOU ERASE YOUR MEMORIES OF KNOWING ABOUT THE TRUE POWER OF THE MIRACULOUS ONCE YOU DENOUNCE YOUR ROLE IN ORDER TO PROTECT THE IDENTITY OF THE current? WIELDERS. EVEN THE USE “MIRACULOUS LADYBUG” DOES NOT UNDO THIS.

DEFINITELY DO NOT FORGET THIS MOVING FORWARD IN THE SERIES (but mainly if you really like lore or just want to use this as a fic tool :3)

Techincally, someone did die this episode, but it was the person we all once knew as Master Fu. Now it is just Wang Fu. He returns Ladybug’s “lost key” thinking she dropped it? and then marks the a new beginning.

Chloe returns to expect her mom to be getting ready to leave, but finds her parents finally happy and in love. . . I’m actually really happy this happened. Chloe needs a loving home and if this helps her in anyways, ABOUT TIME.

“As you start to get older, you start to understand that life doesn’t always give you what you thought it would. I wanted to tell you this in person, Marinette, but if you are reading this it is because I’ve already lost all my memories. Do not be afraid, you haven’t lost all of me completely. Like I told you in the beginning of the letter, losses are a part of life, but this isn’t important. The only thing that’s important is if you’ve won (?) or not. That is the key to be able to accept changes as they come on your own. To be able to accept everything as a whole even when you feel life hasn’t given you enough. The real gift, is life itself.” —Fu

no I’m not crying, you are

After retrieving Master Fu’s leftover gifts for Marinette, she takes him to see Marianne to their new home (assuming), to whom Wang Fu has met for the first time but is already fully in love with. Marinette gives them a final parting gift, to where his last words to her are:

“Thank you, young lady. I’ll never forget you.”

okay, okay, maybe a TINY tear has left my eye. . .

Now to our final scene of the season. Adrien and Marinette are closer friends and nothing is distant between the two, They’re even so comfortable small talk is like second nature to them . . . they’ve also both finally faced their own hesitations and decided to give the person in front of them a shot for and for all: Luka and Kagami.

“The real gift, is life itself.”

okay okay I’m SOBBING aghhhHHHHHHHH--

Oh and Gabriel seems to have repaired the peacock miraculous 👀

The Future (?)

Okay, so THAT’S how Season 3 ended. It feels bittersweet, I cried about it when I got home and watched it with real subtitles, but now lets talk about what we can expect to come in Season 4. It’s all guess and theories but I guess here’s mine:

Marinette now fully changed and matured with her new role as guardian, will probably be a lot more calmer with her approaches. The relationships will likely be that Lukanette and Adrigami will try to flourish further as both Adrien and Marinette decided to stop hesitating and going for what’s in front of them. . . but so will Ladynoir.

I’m, for the time being, jumping ship on the theory that Ladybug will fall more in love with Chat, and Chat still being loyal to his lady will equally return the feelings as this happens further. . . but of course their civilian relationships will interfere. . . and idk about you guys but that department looks like it’s going to be interesting.

I may add more later on, but I just needed to get all this out in one post for the finale. I’ll still watch Felix and Chat Blanc cause I’m in denial that yes, this was basically it already . . . But the wounds are still fresh in my soul for this show and it still hurts. . .

So yeah . . . Lila Rossi who?

Don’t know her. . .

and neither did Hawkmoth in that finale 👀 *sips tea*

#ml love eater #ml loveater #ml miracle queen #ml season 3 finale #ml analysis #ml thoughts #ml #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug and chat noir #ml spoilers #ml season 3 #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste

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logh-icebergs · 6 years

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Episode 33: Fortress vs. Fortress

Love Triangles

“Yang told me not to write the real names even in my diary, so I’ll use pseudonyms, but non-commissioned officer A and non-commissioned officer B had been fighting forever over the civilian Miss C, and that fight was revived on Iserlohn, but Miss C, who hated Officer B, impulsively shot him to death.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 61-62 (From episode 30.)

Honestly, the love triangle between Officer A, Officer B, and Miss C that Julian describes in his diary sounds like one of the more straightforward and classic love triangles in the LoGH world. LoGH love triangles, as we’ve discussed, tend to be rather twisted, tragic, or otherwise subversive. These triangles don’t present an either/or choice between two romantic rivals standing on equal ground, where the choice hinges on the interior romantic feelings of the character at the vertex; rather, most love triangles in LoGH are narrative tools to highlight the ways social structures shape our choices for us, or to add depth to characterizations by showing the ways that people approach these choices differently.

On the Alliance side, the love triangle of season one was between Yang, Lapp, and Jessica, with Jessica at the vertex. And the way it played out set up open questions about Yang’s wistful passivity and reluctance to pursue a romantic relationship with Jessica both back in college and now, despite her professed interest. Many factors were at play in that dynamic: Yang may have believed that Jessica was more interested in Lapp, or been reluctant to compete with his friend; and in the present day, tensions over their past, Lapp’s death, and the war complicated any possible relationship between them. But as Jessica tells it in episode 10, she was disappointed that he didn’t continue to express interest after that first awkward dance; and despite that confession and an almost-kiss, Yang’s reluctance remained a constant, as he made no further move to pursue her.

In season two, Yang is involved in another love triangle of sorts, and this time he is at the vertex.

The line in Japanese is Teitoku wa itsu ni nattara hakkiri saserun darou? which translates literally as “when will the admiral make it clear?” The official subs translate it as “when will the admiral just tell her?” which is misleading: It implies Julian has a belief that Yang reciprocates Frederica’s feelings, but both before and after this Julian professes not to know Yang’s feelings.

This triangle between Yang, Frederica, and Julian currently exists only inside Julian’s head. But for Julian at this point in his life it is very real and looms very large—dominating his thoughts, as we see in the moment above, even as he rushes into battle against a giant fortress that just warped into the corridor and attacked them. And since it’s foundational to the emotional arc of the whole rest of the show, it’s worth taking time to examine in painstaking detail exactly how it’s set up early in this season.

The Julian/Yang/Frederica Triangle

(From episode 24.)

The last time I talked about Julian’s feelings for Yang I speculated that, despite seeming to have all the major symptoms of a crush, he probably didn’t frame it to himself that way (although we had no way to know for sure). But that was almost a year ago—in story time, that is—and a year is a long time when you’re fifteen-going-on-sixteen. And uh, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that he’s figured some stuff out.

Have I fangirled about Nozomu Sasaki’s voice acting yet? Well it’s about time I did—the subtitles can’t do this exchange justice, so please go watch it (12:17) right now to appreciate the soft edge behind his “saa” here. Damn. (From episode 30.)

This is one of those times when I’m not sure what my job here is supposed to be: Schenkopp asks whether Yang is interested in Frederica and Julian’s reaction is to say “how should I know” then lower his eyebrows angrily and shoot the target directly in the heart. Tell us how you really feel, Julian.

Ding ding ding, yes, how he really feels is jealous. Well done Schenkopp. This is the line right before we jump to Schenkopp interrogating Julian on the shooting range, and already here a triangle of some sort is suggested, with Julian and Frederica paralleled to each other as rivals for Yang’s attention. So how is Yang processing this line? How is Cazellnu? We’ll come back to both of those questions in the future! (From episode 30.)

In episode 33 we get another peek inside Julian’s mind, as checking in on the Cazellnu ladies prompts him to recall a recent conversation with Yang.

Have I mentioned Cazellnu has issues? Seriously dude, pressuring your 30-year-old friend about his love life is one thing; telling a teenager you intend for him to marry your eight-year-old daughter someday is a whole ’nother level. Leave Charlotte and Julian alone dammit.

Yang is totally oblivious here to how his “eh she might seem like a little kid to you now but things change” take might interact with Julian’s own complicated emotions...

...and it makes sense to me that Julian immediately fires back by probing Yang’s feelings for the only obvious potential romantic partner currently in his life.

Julian’s emotional life revolves entirely around Yang. That’s been true since we first met him, and when he was fourteen or fifteen it manifested as relatively uncomplicated hero worship/puppy love, a desire both to be as much like Yang as possible and to do as much as possible to look after him and be useful to him. But that dynamic isn’t sustainable as Julian grows up. And what these two scenes tell us is that a thread of tension now runs through Julian’s emotions, specifically about the development of Yang’s love life. Everything about the narrative framing in these scenes sets up a classic love triangle: Schenkopp’s insinuations about Julian being jealous of Frederica segueing directly into Julian acting angsty about not knowing whether Yang reciprocates Frederica’s feelings; Julian’s thoughts jumping from remembering Cazellnu’s matchmaking schemes between him and Charlotte to solemnly wondering when Yang will make his feelings about Frederica more clear.

...But this is LoGH. And zooming out from the narrative framing to the broader context, to say this particular triangle is “not that simple” would be a drastic understatement. Julian and Frederica are not on equal ground here; while Frederica seems perfectly constructed as a potential romantic partner for Yang, every possible situational variable is aligned against Julian. When Julian thinks about Yang “making things clear” or “making up his mind,” the two options on the table are “yes Frederica” or “no Frederica.” Julian simply isn’t an option. Heteronormativity is one factor in that, sure, but not the most important one—the age difference and power dynamic mean not only that Julian is a socially unacceptable love interest for Yang, but that in fact any expression of romantic interest from Yang’s end would be deeply, deeply inappropriate. And Julian must know that. However…

Is it too disturbing to say that what this line reminds me most of is a dog marking its territory? Anyway, it’s the addition of “favorite” that really gives it that possessive feel; he could have just said he has to go make Yang dinner, but instead he feels the need to emphasize that he is the one who knows how to cook food just the way Yang likes it. (From episode 30.)

Frederica isn’t a threat to Julian’s role as Yang’s intellectual disciple, or to his role as Yang’s physical protector. But she is a threat to his role as Yang’s caretaker and domestic partner, and it’s no coincidence that he ends the conversation with Schenkopp by emphasizing that position. Sure there’s nothing romantic about their relationship right now, but the status quo is still that Julian is the person closest to Yang, the person who lives with him and looks after him and cooks for him and spends cozy evenings beating him at 3D chess. The two sides of the triangle may be “Frederica” and “not Frederica,” but the closest Julian can hope to come to actually being chosen is for Yang to never choose anybody, for the status quo to just quietly continue.

On Surface Readings

A lot of the storytelling in LoGH has the feeling of a magic trick: It tells one story if you look at it through glasses that assume romantic attraction can only occur between men and women, and completely different stories if you remove that lens. The key to this trickery is that it’s simultaneously true that there exist non-queer interpretations of the things we see, and that if you tally the details of how the stories are actually told, those interpretations don’t quite add up. In the case of the Julian/Yang/Frederica dynamic, there are two different possible non-queer readings, and it’s worth taking the time up front to examine each of them and how they interact with what we’ve seen so far.

Reading #1: Frederica is the vertex. This is the magic trick illusion: If we attempt to interpret the situation starting from the assumption that between Yang and Frederica, Frederica is the only possible object of romantic interest for Julian, then the two scenes I analyzed above suddenly constitute evidence that Julian has a crush on Frederica. More specifically, they constitute the only evidence that Julian has a crush on Frederica.

Yes this gif is super cute; no it’s not sufficient evidence of a crush. (From episode 17.)

Julian is friends with Frederica and likes her. But never (until these two scenes) have we seen his emotions around her seem fraught; we’ve never seen him think about her when she’s not around, or stand in the background of scenes smiling at her. We’ve never even seen them have a conversation in which Julian didn’t bring up Yang.

As I pointed out above, several details about how the dynamic is framed in episodes 30 and 33 reinforce the fact that Yang is in the role of vertex: a) It takes serious mental gymnastics to see Schenkopp’s “Julian will be jealous if you take Frederica to Heinessen and not him” line as trying to imply that Julian has a thing for Frederica. b) In both scenes, Yang is the one whose feelings are unknown, the one who has a potential choice to make. And c) Julian’s none-too-subtle emphasis of the fact that it’s his job right now to cook for Yang makes it even clearer that it’s his role in Yang’s life that’s at issue.

The only reason to think that Frederica rather than Yang is the vertex is an assumption that Julian must be straight. And the only evidence that Julian has a crush on Frederica is the assumption that she must be the vertex of this triangle. This reading falls to pieces as soon as you remove those glasses.

Reading #2: It’s not romantic. This is much more interesting, because unlike Reading #1, it’s not just an illusion created by heteronormative assumptions. It’s a complexity inherent to the actual situation, and incredibly difficult to actually parse out the nuances of, both for us and for Julian.

The show doesn’t bother to give us a lot of details about Julian’s background in season one—we don’t even know at what age Julian went to live with Yang until the beginning of season two—and it’s easy as a viewer to classify Julian early on as “basically Yang’s kid” and therefore assume Julian sees it the same way. But that view bulldozes over a ton of complexity. Julian was raised by his father until he was eight, and went to live with Yang when he was twelve; Yang is his hero, teacher, mentor, role model, idol—all sorts of things, in addition to legal guardian, that create a major power differential between them. But never once does Julian refer to Yang as being like a parent to him as such—if we look at the source material, he’s consistent in referring to himself as Yang’s disciple (弟子) or orderly (従卒), and as I’ve pointed out before, this is reflected in the anime by the fact that his language and bearing around Yang, while affectionate, are more like a subordinate than like close family.

“So far I’ve only lived just shy of fifteen years. Exactly half of Yang’s age. In the next fifteen years, can I catch up to Yang’s pace? [...] ‘Don’t hold back and merely catch up, fly past him,’ Cazellnu said, and Schenkopp teased, ‘You’re running while he’s taking afternoon naps. Surely you’re gaining ground.’ Poplan laughed. [...] All three of them are watching me with interest and possibly some sympathy as I chase after my shifu (a good word, I learned it from Yang) from far behind.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 136-137 (From episode 29.)

Yang, for his part, has never wanted to be a parent or felt comfortable in that role; and the only way he knows how to treat Julian is as some combination of student and housekeeper.

Okay I’m not actually trying to over-analyze Yang’s syntax here; honestly I’m just taking the opportunity to use this gif because it cracks me up. (From episode 6.)

All of which is to say that in Julian’s eyes, Yang is an idol rather than a parent; and developing crushes on idols or mentors is so common as to be cliché. There’s nothing inorganic or unrealistic about the idea that Julian’s puppy love could develop into romantic attraction as he grows up. It would be complicated, awkward, painful, confusing, stressful, all sorts of difficult things for him—but none of that makes it unlikely to happen.

Good stories raise more questions than they answer; and the ambiguity and complexity of Julian’s feelings is one of the beautiful things about this story. Is it precisely accurate to call Julian’s feelings romantic? That’s not meant to have an easy answer—especially once you acknowledge that not all romance fits into neat normative boxes, especially once you recognize that romance isn’t synonymous with sex or lust, the lines become fuzzy and difficult to pin down.

But what’s unambiguous is that the question of whether Julian’s feelings are romantic is salient, both to the audience and to Julian himself.

I mean...come on.

The direct segue from Schenkopp commenting on Julian’s jealousy to asking about Yang’s romantic feelings; the paralleling of Yang and Frederica’s potential romance with Julian’s potential future romances; the visual of the target being shot directly in the heart. All of these details suggest that Julian is struggling with the question of how his place in Yang’s life relates to Yang’s love life and to his own. There’s no simple answer, and we’ll be continuing to look for details that give insight into how Julian himself perceives his emotions.

Cazellnu

Meanwhile…

“If you think about it, Cazellnu has no deeds of arms at the front lines or anything. Just through desk work he became a rear admiral at 34, so he’s a real bureaucratic prodigy. [...] When he took university entrance exams, he also passed the exam for the business management program at Ale Heinessen University, but he got the date for the enrollment papers wrong and was left with no choice but the military academy; he says this was one of the major blunders of his lifetime. The other one, he says, is ‘something my wife can never know.’” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 110-111

Okay, so we’re focused on the anime here and technically Tanaka’s writing is not our Official Canon, but this backstory for Cazellnu somehow explains so much. When Yang left for Heinessen he failed to anticipate that Iserlohn would be attacked by an entire fortress (some “Magician” he is...), and left Cazellnu, Bureaucratic Prodigy in temporary command while he was away. Logical enough if the problems that are likely to arise are that somehow not enough toilet paper rations were delivered to block 74 that week; but it’s safe to say that Cazellnu finds himself a bit out of his depth when Geiersberg shows up.

Schenkopp just straight-up disobeys Cazellnu’s order here, chain of command be damned—I like this little reminder that Schenkopp (and by extension the Rosen Ritter) has chosen to be loyal to Yang, but that doesn’t mean that he meekly accepts the authority of the Alliance forces in general.

The other admirals aren’t so brazen, but are also deeply frustrated with Cazellnu’s passive, let’s-just-try-to-stall-until-Yang-saves-us approach to the battle.

Mercifully, for Cazellnu and for the whole fortress, Merkatz has finally had enough of this. This is his extremely dignified and polite way of saying “listen kid, how about you step aside and let someone competent handle this.” Have I mentioned Merkatz is the best?

Poor Cazellnu didn’t ask for this and is really doing his best, and I almost feel bad for him…… but then I remember that he believes the ultimate purpose of human life is to pass on your genes to the next generation and that he ships his eight-year-old daughter with Julian, and I feel less bad.

Yeah that’s right Alex, you brought this on yourself. Shoulda gotten those business school papers in on time, eh?

Stray Tidbits

The liquid hydro-metal coatings of Iserlohn and Geiersberg are one of my two favorite inventions of the anime (the other, of course, being Julian’s cat). This battle is absolutely gorgeous, and I love the Empire’s tactic of using the gravitational pull between the fortresses to submerge the Thor Hammer and expose the back of Iserlohn to attack. Well done anime team, well done.

“In terms of sci-fi concepts, I like the anime-original fluid metal of Iserlohn fortress. Kato Naoyuki (mechanic concept design) didn’t want to just have ships entering and exiting the fortress through an opening, and we started talking about what if they sunk softly into a mercury-like substance, and so it was created. That creation led to the idea of, during the battle with Geiersberg, using the gravitational pull to attack the back side.” —Producer Masatoshi Tahara, interiew in “LoGH: Complete Guide”

Aha, our first mention of Julian’s height, everyone take a shot! Okay, so tracking Julian’s height down to the half-centimeter (really) is more of a thing in the novels than the anime—in fact I think this is the only time we’re given a specific number in the show, although not the last time the topic arises. Anyway, I share Julian’s “where the fuck did that come from?” reaction here. Is this conversation a product of Yang musing about what Schenkopp said about Julian being jealous? A reasonable interpretation of Schenkopp’s line is that Julian is frustrated at being treated like a kid and left out of the fun grownup adventures. Yang may be obliquely trying to reassure him that he’ll get there soon.

Or maybe that book he’s reading just mentioned something about height and the question was totally random? I honestly don’t know.

In any case, after his initial surprise Julian seems quite pleased that his progress toward adulthood is not going unnoticed. And hi Gensui, yes I see you with that adorable yawn in the background; don't worry, Iserlohn’s design is badass but you are for sure the cutest addition to the anime. (Both from episode 30.)

I want to read the rest of this story dammit. Does Rose manage to drive the squirrel away?? This is the LoGH fanfiction the public demands.

Schenkopp, I used to respect you, but weak coffee? Have you no dignity at all?

I don’t blame this random kid for seeming so horrified by the request.

Is it possible that all Alliance coffee is just too weak and that’s why Yang hates it so much? (From episode 17.)

Julian, we can see you. Didn’t anyone teach you it’s rude to stare?

“Haha, my bad.”

Have I mentioned that I love Iserlohn? Damn it’s gorgeous.

#Legend of Galactic Heroes #Legend of the Galactic Heroes #author: Rebecca #Alliance #Julian #Yang #love triangles #surface readings #Iserlohn #Cazellnu #dammit Cazellnu #seriously though what is your deal #Merkatz #Julian's Iserlohn Diary

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