This photo was life-ruining for me(and @sweatyflytrap ) honestly....
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You've gotta be shittin me im goin a little insane over the way Charles asks Arthur to help him by saying "Do it for me" and then repeating it just a little more firmly when Arthur doesn't immediately give in ohhhhhh my god
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me: dude im not even feeling that tired rn and haven’t for ages oh no oh fuck im probably accidentally faking my disability-
my chronic fatigue, loading ammunition into a massive fucking cannon: damn really bro?
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one thing I dislike about the take that Dutch has ~always been that way~ and just kinda acted sane (as far as that works) for +20 years is that it paints Hosea as a complete fool.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think Hosea is completely untouchable, out of this world, a god amongst humans but he isn't stupid. As far as we are concerned he is a master at seeing through people, he reads them and tricks them like no other.
He's very smart and observant, often the one to take a step back and think things through thrice before investing into them and somehow you want to tell me he looked at loud, boisterous, energetic (supposedly manipulative) Dutch at the very beginning and thought "my god this guy is full of shit"?
Now, we don't really have any insight on how they really were before Blackwater or even years back when they took in Arthur but I truly and utterly believe that Dutch was making a real effort to do good, from the bottom of his heart, that he really tried to be better and ultimately failed. (and yeah, surely partly bc it stroked his ego but nonetheless)
Like, the first time we see, or rather hear that Dutch may be a little silly is in Colter, right after Blackwater when it was revelaed that he killed an innocent woman. This was also the very first severe stress situation we have "seen" Dutch in. He got lead on, maybe even set up after what sounded like a long period of luck and success and now him and everyone tagging along is in danger and everything has gone to shit.
The one that then seemed increasingly concerned and insisted on knowing what happened was Hosea. My thoughts are that Hosea knew that Dutch tended to act rash in stressful situations and that there was something nagging on his conscious, telling him that something went horribly wrong. Because he knew Dutch.
Dutch on the other hand started to grow desperate. He didn't just lose a ton of money and got the law after them all once again, but he also lost 3 members of the gang. 3 people to who he promised freedom and a good life gone just like that + he also started to feel the others losing hope and maybe he was confronted with the idea that maybe what he was doing wasn't as good and great as he has thought throughout all these years.
So he grows defensiv and even reckless because no, it can't be, him facing the fact that his time was not only over but he probably wasted all these years was a tad too painful, both for his ego but also for his being.
As time goes on he keeps slipping more and more since everything he does just seems to blow up right back into his face. The more he tries to fix the more to shit it goes and the desperation just seems to grow and grow.
So he clings to every little thing that keeps on making him believe that his cause is still good, that he's still doing right so he comes up with nonesense plans like Tahiti.
But most importantly, his probably biggest reminder still was Hosea. As long as Hosea was still there, still by his side it would be alright. Yeah, Hosea nags him all the time and they bicker and fight all the time, but he's still there, so that means he still believes in Dutch. With Hosea he could do it.
And then Hosea dies.
And the failure at the bank is so much worse than all the ones before because this time it wasn't Dutch that set things up, or Micah, or anyone else but it was Hosea. The very person that grounded him, that he clung to desperately to show him that his efforts are not in vain.
The disaster at the bank didn't only cost him Hosea, his life long partner, the person he trusted the most, but also the trust from the rest of the gang. John was already doubting him for some time now and now the others started to, too.
And maybe, maybe him doing all this what he thought of good these past years, saving and taking in people, wasn't the best for them at all. Maybe he doomed them more than anything.
But no, Micah is still at his side. And Bill. And Javier.
Well, if there's some people still believing in him then there has to be some truth to it, no?
Maybe Micah is right, maybe John is the rat. Or Abigail. Or Arthur.
Maybe all the others are just ungrateful. Maybe he gave them all and the moment he slips and fails they just leave?
Hosea woulnd't have. Hosea stayed with him.
Micah stayed with him.
And as he was on that mountain, looking at the boy he raised as his own, barely able to breath and all beaten up, telling him "I gave you all I had", that was the first time the realization of him not being as great, as good, as he hoped to be, as he tried to be, fully hit him and now he couldn't do anything but accept it. No denying it anymore, no deluding it. Just the cold truth.
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...white guy Scrabby phrases
I GOT THE LIST bunch of things of mildly zesty phrases Scrabby would probably say
"don't get your panties in a twist" (ofc ofc)
"shiver me timbers! I'm freezing like a popsicle out here"
"hey guys let's split up to cover more ground"
"working hard or hardly working?"
"hi hungry I'm dad."
"the early bird catches the worm!
"wow were sure in a pickle here!" (Prism fav phrase ofc)
"that's it no more Mr. Nice auditor! that's the last straw buckeroo."
"you're on thin ice pal."
"I'm keeping my eye on you."
"you catch more scrabbys with sugar than smoke "
"Ahh, a good ol' cup of Jake Joe!"
"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!"
"Time to dig in!" / "Time to get my grub on!"
"Oh look the suns out while its raining! guess the devil is beating his wife"
"Uh oh looks like we got company..."
"See you on the flip side!"
"You're looking a little tipsy-tury my friend."
"Looks like someone's buzzed as a bee."
"Looks like someone is decks below the ship."
"Oh how the tables have turned."
"Its the heart of the cards!"
Lifting heavy stuff: "Man anymore lifting and I'll blow my back hip out."
"Well slap my ass and call me Sally."
"Well butter my bugs and call me a Biscuit"
"Better safe than sorry!"
"Oh crumbs."
"Let's not dilly-dally too long guys."
"Aw quit being a negative Nancy!"
"Oooooh..... Right in the bread basket."
"Jeeze Louise lemon squeeze!"
" Holy moly guacamole!"
"Stop all of this tomfoolery this instant!"
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away!"
"Oopsie daisy!"
"Guess whoo✨" (Covers Prism's eyes)
"Beggars aren't choosers."
"Ahh I see, the apple never falls far from the tree."
"Looks like ya got ants in your pants."
"All bark but no bite huh?"
"Man that really ruffles my feathers."
"Ah! It'll be like finding a needle in a haystack!!"
"I'm losing my marbles over here!"
.....ok.... i may or many not have more but the- they're Scrizzers..
damn are you zombie fungi? cause you got me under your spell
are you a spider? cause you woven me in your web of love
are you the summer sun? cause you got my cheeks sunburnt red
Prism: damn you a cigarette? cause you got me addicted to you (Scrabby would then die after hearing this)
btw these are directed towards lawful joke au by @chaosaliien
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i used to talk about this a lot on twitter a few years ago but recently i’ve been thinking again about how little agency victor kain has both within the narrative and as an individual. specifically i think a lot about how his life after nina’s death is one in which he as a person plays very little role, and the fact that his duty as her husband (and as a kain) means that after she’s gone the nature of his family’s beliefs about the preservation of the soul keep him trapped by design in a grief that is necessarily all-consuming. if he wants to keep nina’s soul alive he can never progress beyond even the first stage of grief: every moment has to be dedicated to her and her memory; he has to be constantly reminded of her and the fact that she is dead. for him to move on would be for him to essentially kill her, so he can never even attempt to recover from her loss. his life has to revolve around the space where she was. in that way i see him as kind of a living shrine, a memorial whilst he’s alive and a vessel when he’s dead. his path is called the mistress! his entire life is explicitly devoted to someone who will take his body and return to life when he sacrifices himself for her! he’s working towards a utopia like the rest of his family, but who is it for? he lost his son in the pursuit of this thing which he will never get to see, and which seemingly never had a place for him at all. the kains’ utopia doesn’t even extend to their own.
all of this pains me particularly acutely because of how clear it is that victor does have interests and desires of his own, despite his implications that he is nothing more than a mouthpiece for his family. if you believe andrey, he doesn’t even want to be here: he wants to go back to the capital to finish his degree. i often see people talk about the kains as if they are one undifferentiated entity, but a lot of the quests ‘the kains’ give you are from victor, and i would argue that in most of those he is acting as an individual rather than necessarily a kain. he wants daniil to free the wrongfully imprisoned people; he acts against his family’s interests in rewarding clara for telling him about rubin. his letter to daniil on day 9 causes me agony for many reasons but in this context specifically because it doesn’t seem like he wants to die. georgiy appears pretty unfazed about being possessed by simon (although it’s georgiy so who knows) but victor, who has two children and has been one of the town’s rulers for presumably several decades, is telling a man he met just over a week ago that he is the only one to whom he can pass on anything meaningful. you could argue that he is just manipulating daniil here to persuade him to take up the kains’ cause, but i am of the opinion that he is being genuine in this case. he doesn’t want to die. he wants his family back again, but the only way they can be reunited is with his death. he wants to finish his degree. i am putting my head through walls
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have you ever asked yourself "what do i have to contribute to the aliens keeping humans as pets" subgenre? because i have. and the answer is johnny shouting and yelling and lunging with teeth bared at every alien he sees so none of the bastards try and take him home and ghost taking one look at him and going "cute. i want that one."
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absolutely unhinged thought of the day: ronance btvs fuffy au and Nancy is Faith, Robin's Buffy, aka the 'good' slayer 'cause she has friends and a loving family/support system etc. Nancy has issues 'cause her family was homophobic and kicked her out and she couldn't save Barb (Kakistos turned her into a vampire, then Nancy had to kill her best friend. yes i am a monster but this is dark!Nancy territory and our girl needs to really go through it to justify turning evil). Robin is obviously still a lesbian in this, so Nancy goes after the *girls* that try to date Robin (do you see the vision?). Kali as Angel (!!! not only 'cause uh. hot af?, but also 'cause i can totally picture her as this 'former dark figure' that helps Nancy later on. plus she would nail the 'i'm a lost wet puppy haunted by my evil past' vibe that Angel has going on imo), Heather as Cordelia, Steve as Xander and Chrissy as Willow, maybe? (nerdy!Chrissy rights + witch!Chrissy rights!). Eddie or Jonathan could be Oz i guess... i feel like Jon is more Oz-coded and Eddie is more like Spike-coded, but whatever. the younger kids i have no idea where to put so, just shhhhh! ok? let's not think about that! (sorry, i do love you guys, i promise! Max and Lucas forgive meeee)
Edit: NO WAIT!! MAX AS DAWN!!! and the younger kids can just be Dawn/Max's friends 'cause she deserved her own Scooby Gang if you ask me. Mike can show up as Nancy's long lost brother and help bring her back to the 'good' side or smth. idk man. this has a bunch of plot holes, don't look too closely pls lmaooo
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hey can you do me a favor, can you like this post if you see it on the dash?
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listen grian, nobody touches my bush. youre done
it all started when grian touched my redstone. he played himself li-li-like a xylophone set on automatic. Doc Monster is a savage, with technical skill and crazy vocal acrobatics. im a legend of the NHO with Etho, Beef, and Double 0. Doc MC is coming for you sevenfold. we got Rendog and other firemen to douse the flames that you shoot at this leviathan, Iskall can try again
you think im in hiding, im just biding my time. putting pen to paper, coming up with rhymes. we're the Star-studded group who got together just to crush you, once we start something you know we're gonna see it through. im the knight, the soldier who brings the fight at first light. yall had to incite, so now i gotta indict: youre guilty of getting murdered with words. yall are outgunned, go home nerds (woohoo!)
hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang
if you think you can stop the symmetry, thats false. G-Team is dialing for help, but im ignoring their calls, and when their bodies dissolve youll know that False is on a killing spree. try to stop my pvp and perish painfully. im the queen of hearts, heads, and body parts. your diamond armour cant compare to my martial arts. i'll send a poison dart to make you breathe your final breath. G-Team's name will be the only thing left
caffinated, animated, redstone innovator.my behavior's crazy, cant phase me, Impulse is never lazy. Tango, why would you betray me, now my scope is aiming. better run for from cover from all the ghast balls that i be taming. without a sound, without no hesitation, my creations are amazing. better watch your step or the G-Team will end up blazing. who's the better team? there is no controversy. but before its said and done you'll be begging us for mercy
hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang
oh, X gon' give it to ya, im gon' give it to ya, X gon' give it to ya, whaaat. lyrical boxing, dropping blows on all my foes. and the G-Team, theyre looking unclean, needing some sunscreen. burnt by words to hurt this herd of nerds, its insane how my rhymes got them injured. danger, danger! i got lasers to cut em up like razers. its flexin' season and I got flavour. their weak defenses like trenches and fences that these dense heads are presenting
theyre presenting them alright. theyre not very good. i could- i could walk over that, i could- i could jump over that. i could use an ender pearl, could use my elytra. c'mon G-Team, geez
yknow i don't know what to say, um let me- let me think
hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang
now im back, got some things i wanna say. (yeah!) whats the letter that starts the alphabet? (Ay!) ladies get in line, the Diggity be on the way. Cleo dont know who she freakin' with. all the signs say to notify her next of kin, this Diggity-Dog be dropping bombs, nothing but hits. spit that rhyme again cause the message is: i can mumble rap and still be the best there is
hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang, hermit gang
oh you- you wanted me to do a verse? id have to check with G-Team- i mean, uh, id have to- i'll have to check with my schedule and see if i can... see if im able to that sort of thing, you know? 'm a busy guy. do have to do a verse? oh, oh. you know? oh, oh. bananas. oh, oh. you know? oh, oh. bananas. do i have to do a verse? oh, oh, oh. bananas. oh, oh, oh. bananas. oh, oh, oh. bananas. oh, oh, oh. bananas. ugh, i just- i just dont know if its a good idea for me to be part of this song...
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so... i made a new family based on the show the fall of the house of usher and edgar allan poe lore and i'm definitely excited to use them so like this for a starter and please reply with whoever you'd like or i'll just choose at random.
tl;dr on the family: they're based on poe's original story meaning that the family is cursed. they've had over 30 years of non stop success, managed to get to the top of the world and bury a lot of people through it and now the universe is finally coming down on them to make it even. each member of the family (saved ugo, of course) starts to experience the fall of their careers, personal lives etc. so far, the only victim has been the youngest of the family, belly usher; whose videos and photos of secret orgies she had been organizing for the last ten years surfaced online.
tamerlane usher — margot robbie, henri’s twin sister, coo at celesio pharmaceutical, bisexual.
henri william usher — charlie hunnam, tamerlane’s twin brother, ceo at celesio pharmaceutical, heterosexual.
emmet usher — henry cavill, henri’s only biological son, cfo at celesio pharmaceutical, heterosexual.
marian raven usher — christian serratos, henri’s only biological daughter, unemployed, bisexual.
morella usher— camila morrone, the oldest bastar of the usher family, researcher at the celesio pharmaceutical, bisexual.
victor usher — rudy pakow, the second-olderst bastard of the usher family, owner of a strip club, bisexual.
pedro diaz usher — diego tinoco, the second-youngest bastard of the usher family, professional boxer, heterosexual.
annabel ‘belly’ usher — valentina zenere, the youngest bastard of the usher family, actress and social media influencer, bisexual.ugo dawson — trevante rhodes, the usher's lawyer and herni's longtime friend, heterosexual.
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i was just reading my diary entries from august and realized that i was never delusional
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i feel so guilty about my work situation right now. i know i'm quitting to move to Maine in September but i JUST took on being a shop steward and i feel like i am abandoning my team... 8(
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Big update!!
I finally got my ADHD and autism diagnosis at the end of the year!!! AND I got my trans diagnosis too!!
There's still a bunch of waiting left for doctors and treatments and stuff but I'm finally done with the beast that is endless assessments and wait times ;o; It kinda feels surreal after so many years of waiting and fighting but I did it!!
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