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#cause if you can get the sense of bad from what ive written
focsle · 1 year
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Sometimes whalemen (and whaling wives) have a ‘reader’ in mind when they’re writing in their journals.
For fellows like Albert Peck or William Abbe, they’re very much writing in the vein of sea yarns, filling their journals with tables of contents or headers to reference later (that makes my life easier too, thanks lads!). There’s a prose quality to it, as well as lengthy explanations about the industry and the life for those unfamiliar with it. Albert Peck opens his journal with a preface followed by a table of contents:
“Kind Reader, If you can have the patience to embark with me I will give you a plain straightforward account of my experience as a sailor, and you can depend upon every incident as being true, excepting names. But perhaps some may read this who were my companions in my voyaging, and if so they will readily recognize the different characters; and if I can interest an idle hour for you, Reader, my purpose will be accomplished.”
Abbe also shares his journals with his shipmates:
“Been reading from my journal to the members of my watch—who to my delight approve it — + Johnny the boatsteerer said he could keep awake all night listening to me + Curly tells me to have it printed when I get home […] We are constantly abusing each other in fun — but nothing gives him so much pleasure as to know that I write about him in my journal. […] Johnny can’t read or write, but he says he means to overhaul my journal someday + get someone to read to him all I have written about him. I read it to him and he understands with a grin of delight.”
Some like William Buel are writing with the notion that they may have a reader of their journal, but it’s written as a private journal rather than a ‘narrative’, that might perhaps be stumbled across by someone else or shared with land lubber friends who might be interested when back ashore. There isn’t a person in mind, nor a sense of wide distribution, but they are thinking of a reader regardless. William, before departing to attend to his laundry that he was procrastinating on, writes:
“With the permission of the reader if I am so fortunate as to have one I will once more haul taut and belay,”
He also apologizes to his hypothetical reader for long spans in which there are no entries (mostly cos the weather’s bad and he’s too busy being wet and cold and tired).
“This digression was rendered necessary in order that the writer of this nondescript log or journal might show cause as the lawyers say of delaying his entries herein for so many days. If the reader will pardon the omission he will strive to do better in the future.”
Silliman Ives also has a general reader, winking at them in his personal entries.
“Between you, and I, and the mainmast, I am disgusted and disappointed.” As well as a particular amusing comment of his (to me), “So you see there isn’t much chance of getting sentiment out of a sailor, as you will readily admit after inspecting a mariner’s logbook.”
Wrong Mr. Ives! It’s my mission in life to find the sentiment, and find it I do, constantly! As someone who works in public history and is always hunting for the humanity of ordinary people from the past, I very much empathize with this sort of hypothetical-gen-reader fellow. I too leave little asides in my private journals to some future hand that might lay upon them (‘If anyone is reading this I swear I’m not a miserable person—I’m just only good at writing in journals when I’m bothered by something’).
Others are writing for the benefit of their friends, such as Mary Brewster, who felt she had to justify her decision to join her husband on his ship.
“I have thought best to keep some account of the time as it passes and should I live to return my friends can see what I have been doing, where we have been, and perhaps by reading this form some correct ideas as regards my feelings whilst absent.”
For J.E. Haviland, the reader he has in mind as he documents his life aboard is his mom, of whom he seems very fond and thinks of often while at sea.
“You cannot imagine my Dear Mother how highly we prize a few hours rest + sleep at such times as these…You would not have known your own son if you could have seen him yesterday. I was nearly black with smoke + dirt. ”
On the other hand, there are some men like Marshall Keith who explicitly forbid a reader opening their journal, especially when it comes to the list of dreams he had while on the voyage.
“All persons are forbid opening this book as there is nothing in it that concerns them in the least.”
I felt a moment of hesitation after reading this message, but the 160-year-old dream diary of a whaler was too historically interesting to me to heed him (though out of respect for him I didn’t transcribe or publish those dreams)
Others initially had no reader at all, keeping a journal simply to mark the time. But for one man, Benjamin Bourne, his reader ended up being himself. 40 years after the voyage, as an old man with only a few years left in his life, he went through the log and annotated it with his current feelings.
“At the date above I think I was not happy but now would give all to be back in mid ocean. Sept 22 1898.” “Jan 29th, 1899 I thought I was having a hard time 40 years ago but it was the best of my life.”
Throughout the book he scrawled an entreaty to his descendants, who he also considered his readers. The front page of his journal had three opening messages:
“Be sure and keep this book in the family, it was a great interest to the writer. BH Borne. Keep this book for the present owners’ sake. BH Borne. Please keep this book in the family of BH Borne and never give it up.”
I wasn’t the intended Reader for these people. I wasn’t a friend of Mary’s or a family member of Haviland’s. I’m not a descendent of Benjamin’s and I don’t know how he’d feel knowing his journal is in an archive rather than within his family. I don’t know how Marshall would feel about me reading his dreams when he wrote that they didn’t concern anyone but himself. Few of them, if any, would have expected anyone to come into contact with their battered old journal nearly 2 centuries later. But still, I always feel something fond when they step back to address someone beyond themselves—It makes an immediate line from my life to theirs, all through the word ‘reader’.
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stargirl-viv · 23 days
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Ooh okay, hi hello I’m back! if you’re confused rn
(Which you probably are) a few days ago, I made a post, about the new lore update we got for johnny & nancy, and I said in that post that I’ll make a rant on it cause damn this new lore got me all fucked up
if you’re not interested in hearing my thoughts on it, then start scrolling rn, this is gonna be a long one…
Alright so, to catch you up on what the new lore is
long story short (if you want the full lore and details go check out my last post on my page!)
johnny had an abusive father:( so his mother we now know her name was Judith, decided to run away and get outta texas, they get lost and find nancy’s house to ask for directions, nancy sees johnny and the rest is history, since we all know what happens after.
now this is where my rant begins
(fyi this rant bout to be all over the place cause this just gets my blood boiling lmaooo I’ve warned you)
okay so before this post even came out, I thought that nancy broke into some woman’s house and stole her baby, buttttt now we know that johnny was a toddler when he was taken, ik he doesn’t remember but can you imagine seeing your mother get k!!ed right in front of you…it’s literally so sad to think about
we also learned that johnny KNOWS he was kidnapped (before this) I thought he didn’t know
what hurts me even more is that, he had to find out from nubbins (hitchhiker) cause he was teasing him
OH and the fact after he found out, he tried to KILL nancy, I mean I don’t blame him but still that takes some serious balls to attempt something like that
unfortunately he was unsuccessful & now we know the reason behind that scar we’ve all grown to love lol (I thought he got it from previous victims) but the truth is even more heartbreaking, and now it all makes sense why hitchhiker is always teasing him in game, u guys know that line of his right?
“You ain’t so tough that’s why you got that big scar on your face!” I always wondered why he says that
the developers just know how to make johnny’s backstory more & more heart wrenching just makes me feel even more sorry for him, now obviously this is just a taste of what johnny’s childhood/teenage hood was like, I hope the developers keep giving us more cause damn! I think johnny is such a well written character so far and I hope the devs continue giving us a fuller picture of johnny slaughter and who he truly is (well we already got an idea but I mean dive deep into his character and story)
God I could just go on and on about this, You guys probably already stopped reading by now lmaoooo
let me just say this and I’ll let you guys go
reminder: this is all in my opinion
(if u don’t agree, be respectful b4 you comment)
from what ive learned through the game, the developers etc, I feel like johnny could possibly have a conscience, like he knows what the family is doing is wrong and I feel like he does feel guilty for the things he’s done/doing, but he can’t just stop cause that’s how he was raised & its his job in the family to be the supplier of the meat. there’s some voice lines in game where you can hear him sound guilty or maybe remorseful? for what happens to maria
I forgot the exact voice line but just look it up on youtube and you can hear it for yourself, it doesn’t sound like he’s mocking or something like that, he sounds genuine (at least to me)
alright I know know, I’m getting WAYYYY to into it here sorry, basically what I’m saying is
johnny was raised to be the way he is today, I truly believe johnny isn’t that bad of a dude deep deep deep down inside 💀 i think the way he was raised & what he grew up around affected his personality & his whole being, I believe he does feel remorse and guilt for somethings but he covers it up with
“the bad man persona” Ifykyk;)
my dad always use to tell me as a kid
“Nobody’s born evil”
and yea that’s it, that’s my whole rant, I got MUCH MORE on my mind but we’ll be here till 2034 LMAOOO and I’m not very good at explaining stuff I try my best, even if it’s messy & I don’t use proper  grammar etc, if you’ve actually read this whole thing here’s some cookies 🍪🍪🍪🍪 and milk too! 🥛
You deserve it! Seriously I put u through all that reading LMAOAO fr tho thank you for taking time outta your day/night to hear my crazy thoughts & opinions, until next time<3 V OUT!!!
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🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕
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freezingmcxn · 28 days
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Creator of Hunter hello 🥸 just having question of what do you think about her or what headcanons would be Abt her? (pls I love ur headcanons sm I wanna eat it, also u don’t need to answer if u don’t wanna ! 😋)
HUNTER HEADCANONS
AHH HIHIHIHI I LOVE HUNTER TO BITS IVE BEEN TELLING ALL MY FRIENDS ABOUT HER SHES SO WELL WRITTEN!!
I honestly only have a few because the way you wrote her is just so perfect I had literally nothing to elaborate on CAUSE YOU EXPLAINED EVERYTHING AND I LOVE THAT but I’m sorry I wish I could say more ☹️ she’s too perfect dude
The song I’m giving her is:
I love the way she collects symbolic trinkets so it made me think yknow what she totally collects bones (especially cause her deer mask that’s so badass)
I feel like she keeps specific bones on her, like in her pockets or on a necklace as a source of protection. Coming across bones gives her a sense of comfort and direction.
I love how empathic she is towards kids.
I feel she wants to protect them from everything bad she sees the world as, she almost feels jealous I think, she adores their naivety and innocence and wishes she could experience such a wonderful thing.
Which is why I think she holds such a hard, stoic exterior, on the inside she’s insecure about looking like a naive child, unaware of the problems around her and the world, though she’s far from physically weak, she feels emotionally weak and over powered by others.
She wants to go back to her childhood years, the years she spent with her family and brothers.
I feel like she definitely gets too caught up in her plans and causes her to break down ever now and then.
The over whelming feeling of being alone gets to her. She doesn’t want to interact with people but she does long for some one like her, someone she can be lonely with, amongst the tranquility of nature.
I like the part you added about her taking victims in the winter!
I think she gets away with this due to the snow and of course being deep in the woods, if it’s snowing heavily the blood would be covered by the falling snow. I thought it would be something she had noticed and therefore can go to more populated areas without being threatened with suspicion.
Her deer skull is so cool, whether you meant to do it or not it fits her character so well due to deer skull symbolism.
Deer skulls symbolise virility and strength. They have often been associated with masculinity and warriors.
THATS LITERALLY HER!!
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moipale · 2 years
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the maddie-jack-vlad college trio make me literally insane. NO they aren't that deep in the show but so be it! we are all in the building-upon-canon's-barebones-foundation trenches, alright, and the college trio/family breakfast dynamic is my hill to die on
cos like. what an insane premise to start with, first of all. 3 people, potentially the ONLY three people ever, pioneering a niche almost-pseudoscience together in college. young twentysomethings with probably zero funding to their name and a batshit dream to follow. and as it turns out their science is legitimate, ghosts are real, and their first (that we know) proof of it all is literally enough to murder 1/3 of them.
vlad masters gets an ectoplasm facial & next thing he knows is he's hospitalized, he's half-dead, and his best friends, the only canonical connections he has have completely abandoned him. the accident happened and they dropped trow and ran. & vlad spends twenty excruciating years stewing in that abandonment. (idr if twenty is canonical but it makes sense given how old danny and jazz are)
and thats all just backstory! the college trio's relationship is already smoldering ashes by the time we get to it; we only actually see the long aftermath, where vlad is obsessed with the fentons and they act like they never abandoned him. it's such a compelling premise, with so much room to explore all three of their characters and motivations, and canon SPITS ON IT by dumbing down the consequences to "vlad is a big bad villain with a homewrecker complex." the college trio is deeply compelling to me in the sense of what it could and should be & there are a few particular points that i will truly die on a hill about:
a) vlad's anger/betrayal should be directed at both the fentons, not just jack. regardless of what or who actually caused the accident, they were both there, and both contributed to the proto-portal. more damningly, though, they both left him alone for the years afterward. they even went and got married, cementing their bond and leaving him all the more alone by comparison.
b) maddie and jack should have reason/motivation for abandoning vlad, and they should each be different. no friendship can be walked away from like that without strings attached. for that matter--when vlad hosts the reunion, the fentons attend without a second thought, even after leaving him so long ago. why? have they been thinking about him as much as he has thought about them, these past twenty years? (yes!!!!!!!!! there was no closure to what happened! of course he has haunted them! look what they did!)
c) the fentons should FIND OUT WHAT THEY DID. in any iteration of their story--whether vlad is danny's villain, or he's just a man, or he reconciles with the fentons--i think that jack and maddie should learn the consequences of the portal accident. i dont say this out of malice. vlad is, in most iterations, a bad person, in more ways than can be attributed to his half-death. and the portal accident was an accident. these are true things. it is just so deeply, deeply narratively compelling to have them find out. they made a mistake, they left it behind, it has dogged their thoughts for twenty years, and--oops! it was always as bad as you feared it was, in fact worse! you killed someone! you killed your best friend! the potential for themes of guilt and betrayal and preventable tragedy make me off the wall fucking bonkers.
im enamored with the college trio's story because it is so messy and so tragic and it has so much potential, whether flavored as enmity or friendship or any variation of romance (especially family breakfast). augh. ive written three fics about them already with a fourth on the way via invisobang and i am nowhere near done exorcising the thoughts they've stirred
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I almost hate how much i switched teams from 2718 to abacus, but its just bc he's new and shiny and pretty and pushy. He stifles autonomy so i know 2817 is better in the long run bc u can reason w him and he puts mcs best interests first. Abacus gives me the kind of vibe that he'd let mc get hurt so long as shes his, and tbh i feel like he might enjoy it? Like he'd like to fix her up and *accidentally* press a lil too hard into her wounds wheras 2718 would just use his abilities so that she wont feel the pain to begin w. That's just my assumption tho given what we've seen. Abacus seem the type to only use his powers thingy to subdue reader.
We know that 2718 has met readers past forms/reincarnation w.e u call it and i originally thought abacus did too. Maybe he was her affair or lover in a previous reincarnation methinks? I just felt like he knows her before. This changed a bit towards the end when they were walkin thru the streets while he was giving her the endoscopy (😮‍💨💦) and we learned just how badly mc is seen. Now im starting to wonder if aba is just greedy n wanted her as his lil disabled spouse genuinely, no past relation. Idk. I still feel like they know each other previously. Or maybe he sensed something abt her back when 2817 brought her in to that place all the way back then. Mc is key to the universe type thing. Doubt that tho.
Neyways i think aba is gnna take her home where he reveals that he not only has four arms, but also two dicks n he's gnna try to fawk her but some event will inconveniently stop him. I also think he lives in an oasis like place, their version of natural wood everywhere, running waterfalls from the cieling, tons of glass that he can mentally control and shatter at will to threaten reader while having a saccharine smile on his face, the works really.
I wnna believe translator(TA) is gnna get 2718 and theyll find mc but now im thinking maybe they might not meet up like that. 2718 might find TA n ditch her to find mc and TA has to scramble to keep up, might even meet her on the way back after 2718 saves the day. Also wondering whts gnna happen to TA bc i dont think anything criminally bad happened to her even tho we heard her screaming. Be real interesting if she were screaming bc 2817 found her and juuuust missed mc and aba. I think when 2718 finds mc and aba they're gnna be familiar w eachother but not fight bc aba is one slippery bastard. Or maybe itll be convenient where aba leaves mc unattended for a bit and someone tries to harm her and then 2718 makes him big appearance, like when mc was first dropped into the world and 2718 saved her. I have more thoughts on that but ive already wrote an essay here and in my other ask 😭
Anywhooo ty fr the chapter, hope your healing well 💕💕💕 -🐰
Damn this sure is a well written essay 😳 its either ur a really good analyst or im just a predictable writer cause it almost seems like u have access to my drafts
Cuase that... Kinda exactly whats gonna happen ngl, its still pretty rough around the edges part 15 is just still in its embryo stage with a 50 word list of whars going to hapoen, but yea it pretty similar to what you just described , havent been writing cause i regained my leg freedom finally and i spent literally every waking hour outside, driving and shit
There is going to be a fawking scene in p15 ill tell u and whoevers reading that. Similar to what you descibe with their anatomy but a little different in sequence of events
Thanks for sending in this ask bunny anon this is so cool and i had a great read ❤️❤️ lovely motivation youve given me and i really appreciatte the essay asks -- like, i appreciate if A LOT actually, thanks for reading language barrier too
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seaweedbraens · 5 months
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I think I’ll go ahead and come off of anon xD. Mostly cause I have thoughts and would like to have someone to talk to lol.
Tbh, my emphasis on her fatal flaw being self sacrifice is probably a bit of a knee jerk reaction to how it tends to be portrayed in the fandom at large. ‘Cause it seems a common thing to portray her hubris as arrogance and I don’t think she’s very arrogant at all.
If I remember correctly she never really tries to place herself above anyone else. Heck, at the end of TLO she says that Percy saved the world and he corrects it to “us”. She’s even the first person to give credit to Tyson at the of SOM.
How it does manifest the majority of the time tho (at least in my opinion) is via reckless overconfidence. There are 3 instances which are usually used as examples to her nearly dying from her fatal flaw. The sirens, the sphinx, and Arachne. Of those the ones that are more overtly arrogance are the the latter two (tho I personally hesitate to include the sphinx because the dialogue to me sounds more like she’s having a neurodivergent breakdown but that’s another discussion). Everything else tho? The sirens, the manticore, the sky, the helicopter, fighting after getting stabbed, etc? Heck, volunteering for quests in general? Either reckless overconfidence or her just moving without thinking in defense of someone else.
TLDR, it’s not that I think she isn’t prideful, I just think she’s more likely to die to protect someone else.
Also, I think it’s kinda funny you say she’s not one to forgive when I personally think she’s one of the most forgiving people in the series. She forgives Luke and her dad, after all, even if, as you said, she never quite forgets. The only exception is probably Hera, which, I mean, is fair xD
- (Formally) A’s oath anon.
PS. I do write actually! Nothing for PJO yet tho not for lack of trying. I’m still in a bit of a writing rut unfortunately. Not to say I’m not interested in a collab with @glove23. I just don’t know how effective I’d be.
oh my GOD i love this!!! completely agree on her pride manifesting as reckless overconfidence, it's very much a sense of "i could do it and i could do it BETTER" that reminds me of the sirens' vision she had in the sea of monsters. honestly, her explanation of it hits the nail on the head - i think she says something along the lines of "but sometimes you just see the bad stuff/what if i could take everything down and rebuild it from scratch' which is so interesting to me!! i've said this before about her more emotional reactions, but annabeth, the supposed 'logical one', acts more on raw emotion than just about anyone. she gets angry and mad and JEALOUS, and she doesn't even attempt to hide it - that's what contributes to the way i write annabeth, which is pretty much as an emotional disaster. i love her so much
GOOD CATCH on her being forgiving; i really do think ive been confusing canon!annabeth with the version i have in my head?? either way, thank you for reminding me! annabeth is better than me frfr
i'd love to see what you've written, or if you ever get around to writing for pjo! i understand writing ruts, and i wish i had more advice on how to get those good ol' creative juices flowing, but all i can say for now is: don't force it. when you get into the mood, the words will f l o w.
@glove23 could probably help w that, tbh. they've been writing fics EVERY WEEK for what feels like 90 million years. i could never.
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lycanlovingvampyre · 1 year
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MAG 168 Relisten
Activity on my first listen: cutting the Kolkwitzia amabilis in my garden.
Ah yes, another ambiguous... thing. Roots, routes.
I feel like Martin dancing around at the beginning here, asking Jon if he‘ll gonna be okay on his own is already because he‘s jealous and he wants to bring this situation in a certain direction. It sounds like they have already talked about crossing Oliver‘s domain cause Martin knew it’s his.
MARTIN: "So, are you gonna smite him, then?" Hehe, Martin showing his petty side xD The topic is serious, but it's still funny to hear that conversation xD
MARTIN: "I know what I said, and I don’t – (sigh) I don’t know, Martin. I just – I don’t think he’s – (sigh) I don’t know; I don’t think he’s evil." Yeah, that’s also what I thought. He seems neutral? I mean he even tried to save people at first. It was a bit more unfortunate for that boat crew that they were caught up in his little breakdown… Actually how does Oliver feed the End? Is it just those little gestures like looking all sad at Jane or asking the statement giver of MAG 42 what she‘s listening?
MARTIN: (really?) "Oh, yeah, sure; he’s probably a really kind, benevolent ruler of a hellish fear prison." Martin still couldn't wrap his head around the concept of watcher and watched. He is just as much a watcher as Oliver is. Jon is a watcher, that at least he knows, I think, and he doesn't see him as evil.
Ahhh, this scene is so perfect! It's well written and funny and the acting is on point!
That little laugh when Martin is finally out of earshot xD Like „I can’t believe we actually had that conversation r.ight now”
"I have no power to stop it, and even if I did, I would not do so. For to rob a soul of death is as torturous as its inevitable coming." There’s a reason the trope of not being able to die/a fate worse than death is called And I Must Scream.
Is this statement a comment on the rise of self-diagnosing because of the Internet? There have been Hypochondriacs have been around pre-internet, so I'm not so sure about this.
"She may see Maria lying in her hospital bed, monitors crowding her as the doctors struggle to get an IV into her wildly convulsing arm. She might have a flash of Bobby, fingers tightening around the rungs of the ladder as the rusted nails give way. She often sees Dennis’s face as the knife slips eagerly between his ribs, even though he doesn’t die for hours afterwards." Jon‘s mum (surgery complication), Jon‘s dad (fell of a ladder) and Jon himself. This says that Dennis didn’t die for hours, so there’s still a chance for Jon to be saved when they‘ll arrive somewhere else!
"a) When Danika Gelsthorpe reaches the end of her Corpse Route, she will die. This new world of fear reviles death as a release, but the Coming End cannot exist without its reality. It is not a being of dangled promises and shifting torments. The certainty of death waits for all who travel the Corpse Routes, and that certainty will be delivered on, without hesitation or consideration of any other factors." That does very much make sense, otherwise it would lose the one thing the End is about.
"b) This place is a limit on the fear that can be generated from them, as their pool is necessarily finite and ultimately, however slowly, it will be exhausted. To be offset, this consideration will require the acquisition of victims from other domains as replacements, potentially inciting… bad feeling between those domains." When they run out of people, they will get them from somewhere else. Wonder what that "bad feeling between those domains" was meant to be telling us. That watchers would start wars against the End?
"c) A metaphysical quirk of this new reality’s divorce from the traditional concept of time, and – one for which I have no further explanation, means that I do not believe new humans are being created or born." This does make sense in the way of their bodies stopping metabolism. They don't need to eat, they don't need to drink, they don't need to sleep. They are frozen in time. Probably also won't age. And without aging no new life can come into being. (I also headcanon hair stopping to grow, fingernails etc.) But what about domains that feed on the fear of pregnancy or childbirth, bringing up a child? Well, we learn in MAG 178 that the Fears can create artificial people, decoys, NPCs for the sole purpose of making the real ones more afraid. I guess it would be like that.
"d) When this happens, the Great Powers themselves will also fade and die, withering away into nothingness and releasing this reality from their grip." If they need to feed on fear to survive, they will starve. Absolutely makes sense. That's also very similar to the stop-feeling-fear strategy because of which we heard a bunch of people escape their situation. There's just nothing that keeps them going.
"I… do not know how I feel about this." I love Oliver Banks. He's my favourite Avatar side-character!
"Perhaps once it might have horrified me, or given me some sense of pursuing the ultimate release of the world that you have damned." Okay, not cool, Oliver. It was Jonah Magnus who did this.
JON: "The Avatar of Death shall live. (heavy inhale) Martin’s going to be thrilled." It's so poetic, I can't imagine why Martin dislike this.
@a-mag-a-day
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chloeangelic · 6 months
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OMG! The new chapter of ''Love Me Back'' is so much. How can something that starts like this chapter end up so badly? As with any good story, I knew the angst was around the corner, but what an ending.😳
I loved how you put her mental issues out in the open, with her thoughts and the therapy session in the first part of the chapter. It makes her more realistic, complex, and easier to comprehend. I totally get her. I share some of her thoughts, but at the same time, this chapter made me a bit angry. I hope the next part makes sense at the end. The mix of feelings this chapter made me feel is murky. Which shows me how well-written I found it and how much I liked it.
Self-worth can be a tricky thing, especially when starting a new relationship adds the fear of showing your true self and being rejected, a thing she's already gone through by the glimpses of her past relationships. Being told you're not girlfriend/wife material can create deep wounds, increasing her mental health struggles.
Their relationship is new, and they still have a lot to settle. I know WORDS are IMPORTANT, and they are needed, but seeing Joel show her with his actions what he wants (after all, he wouldn't let anyone get close to his daughter and develop a connection) while the reader is not able to acknowledge it, is frustrating. Not talking beforehand makes the whole situation way worse. The offer of take of Sarah, I feel like she might not be using her words yet, but she's putting herself out. She's trying to give Joel what he needs and be someone he can rely on, to be a team. The pain of Joel's rejection, coupled with his initial lack of attention, causes everything to explode. When, for once, she has the strength to defend herself and express her feelings, it's one of the worst moments.
I would love to read Joel's thoughts on the whole scene. He has so many fronts at the same time. I'm not excusing him because he could have handled the whole situation better (both of them could have). He also has his struggles and anxieties clouding his perception of the reader's emotions, making it harder for him to open himself and accept help. I hope the situation gets solved soon.
I trust you can pull out something from my ramble and that it wasn't too much, lol.😅 Thanks for the chapter! Despite preferring fluff, I'm a sucker for angst like the one you wrote.♥️
Ahhh im so glad you enjoyed it and got something out of it!!! i definitely think that new relationships are a massive catalyst for self worth issues because its such a vulnerable state to be in and youre so afraid of the other person finding something out about you thats suddenly a dealbreaker and just peacing out.
LMB girl has held soooo much back from joel, thinking shes shielding him from it, and it blows up in her face so bad cause she has this vault of crap thats bound to explode open with one little bad vibe from joel, even though theyre both misplacing their frustration. ive tried to make this fic as realistic as possible, and i think a lot of us have had periods of bottling things up and not being able to expect when the last drop hits
the whole series having such a mental health focus wasnt my intention when i started writing it - my initial idea was for it to be more FWB centered actually, but ive ended up including so much of my own experiences with self worth issues and subsequent healing, and that has made the whole thing more interesting i think
joels thoughts come out in ch 7!!!
so glad youre willing to suffer through my angst, and theres a lot of fluff coming up which is very uncharacteristic for me but we all need to see joel and his crab girl happy - they deserve it hahaha
thanks for sticking around, i love reading your detailed thoughts on the chapters <3 <3 <3
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solipsisticno1 · 1 month
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Hi, just wanted to say that politics is one of my favourite fics ever (across fandoms and all)!! I think it’s so beautifully written, especially when it comes to characters/relationships. I usually find it hard to like oc’s best friends in ff cause they sometimes feel like an appendix of the protagonist (if that makes sense?), but oh, Carlotta!!! Her and Marlene’s friendship is so genuine and precious and I always look forward to read about them.
Also, love love love the new angsty fic, can’t wait to see how the story develops.
You really are so talented and I always get excited when I see you post <3 love u
🥹🥹🥹🥹
just fyi I did get some tears in my eyes; I ABSOLUTELY adore Marlene and Carlotta, maybe even more than Marlene and Matty (is it bad to say that? idk I think they have thus beautiful friendship and I just... yknow would love to explore it further)
And I love that they love each other but they also dont take each others shit, and can call one another out, and ahh. Ive poured a lot of my soul into Carlotta tbh, not in the sense thst she is like me (she's not, I wish I were more like her) but just in the sense that she feels so real to me which I never expected from my OCs bestie
And Marlene is just. Oh, man, she is so real in my head to the point that @plantinghobbies when editing sometimes has to prompt me to consider putting on paper what Marlene is thinking because I just get so into writing that I forget not everyone is "living" in my head
Also am glad you like the angsty fic, hopefully it delivers on the angst front and feel free to also send an ask to @plantinghobbies to motivate her to update next part asap
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monkiebois · 1 year
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On the one hand a lot of Tripitaka’s behavior is just a product of the time he’s meant to take place in (600’s) and probably the time he was written in (1500’s-ish I think?) and viewing his behavior through that lense makes some (not all, we’ll get to that) of his behaviors make sense.
On the OTHER HAND
Ok, let’s just be real for a second. Tripitaka was in a nightmare situation where basically everything he encountered wanted to kill/eat/rape him. And trauma… can do very ugly things to a person.
So he’s basically powerless, and he’s got all these emotions, fear and anger and a million other things, building up inside and they need an outlet. He certainly can’t take things out on Bajie or Wujing. Wujing would probably rip his throat out and make a friendship bracelet out of it, and Bajie would… probably leave. He was barely staying with them as is and if Tripitaka gave him a reason he’d leave. I think Tripitaka did care about them… at least enough that he didn’t want to be without them.
So that leaves Wukong. Who basically came with a “Take my frustrations out” button. He had power of Wukong. He could make him just as helpless as he always was. Better yet, Wukong keeps forgiving him. Always comes back to help him. No matter how many times Tripitaka burns him, he comes back to the fire. Who else would do that? God knows the other two wouldn’t.
For the record, I don’t think it was this calculated, I’m just pointing the circumstances.
TLDR: Tripitaka’s behavior viewed through the cycle of abuse makes his actions make a lot more sense. Not saying his behavior isn’t fucked up, just the REASONS for the fucked up behavior.
god i love analyzations of character dynamics, especially the fucked up ones cause theres SO MUCH here.
wow you went off insanity/pos
like....yeah. YEAH. its so.wqdefsgrdfhtgjyj
there are multiple factors to what happened on the journey. so many things that came togethor that made everything worse for wukong. she couldnt catch a break.
to be real for a sec the reason trip freaks me out and why i very much dislike the realistic and not sugar-coated version (as a person) of him is bc of my own experiences. i wont go into detail and it wasnt ofc as bad at what trip did but,,,,yeahANYWAYS
when\ people have power over someone it can go two ways. help or abuse.
and when it ends up as abuse, just,,,man.
like on one hand i can see Wukong needing to go on the journey to learn morals and right from wrong (refer to this)
but then heaven repeatedly fucked him over and ended up torturing him for like 50 DAYS STRAIGHT.
then the mountain for 500 years.
all to be put in trips hands and abused for another 20.
man.......
its freaky because its also realistic.
from what ive interpreted from the story its a case of. treat them like shit and then offer a sliver of compassion and remind them theyre nothing without you they theyll always come crawling back no matter what you do,
and
maan
MAN
crying
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rainbowsky · 1 year
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Hi hi! I'm the fic anon from a few days ago! Guess what, I took your advice and got myself to read Epiphyte, and wow you are right it must have healing properties. There's been a lot going on on my personal and professional life lately and it's like that fic was perfectly written for me in this moment. Truly such a great recommendation, I can't praise it enough (the fig tree metaphor is gonna stick with me for a long long time 🥺)
I think what I'm also realizing is that it helps when the writer so clearly writing with love for GGDD as people and not as celebrities meant to simply entertain or fulfill a fantasy, even if it's just a completely fictional and mostly harmless way to show and share that love with others in the fandom. Your comment about sticking to AUs made a lot of sense, cause it is just like watching something starring our boys, which is what we're really wishing for I think, deep down. That and for them to have the sense of peace and joy the fic allows them, it's a good space for hope and love to blossom.
I'm very wary if parasocial relationships as I'm sure many are which is why I had so many reservations about reading ggdd fics in the first place. Remembering it's fiction is one thing, but as someone whose empathy causes them to get so wrapped in the emotions of that which they read, its touch to balance keeping it all separate. I realized it was mostly anoit the names, but if something is written with a fan's love and respect, surely thats not such a bad thing, right? This is the first time ive delved deeper into fandoms for celebs, beyond the simple admiration i feel. Being a turtle has certainly provided me with many firsts (mostly pleasant and not as uncomfortable as i thought it might have been), but its still making me overcome a lot of my own anxieties in a way i never thought id have to. I have a feeling I will be navigating that line for a while, but I'm truly grateful for your encouraging words and stellar recs! Thank you! (I think I might go for that coffee shop rec next 👀)
(Apologies for the long ask, but I have a lot of thoughts and I'm proud of myself for branching out of my comfort zone! Thanks a bunch to you!!!! ☺️☺️☺️☺️)
This is in reference to a previous post.
ANON! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story! It's a favorite!!
It was definitely a bit of a leap for me when I first started reading GGDD fic. I had actually never read fanfic of any kind before becoming a GGDD fan, so it was all very new to me. I asked myself the simple question: Would I be upset if someone had written this about me? And the answer was no. These stories are lovingly written, and most of them very respectful of GG and DD.
Even the ones that I find offensive are obviously not written in a mean-spirited way. They just reflect our differences in interpreting GG and DD, our differences in taste and interests, our different levels of comfort with certain things, etc..
Ultimately I think a lot of misgivings people have about RPF are the result of widespread misconceptions about fan works. I talk a bit about my thoughts on all that here.
I hope you continue to enjoy some of the great stories out there, and maybe even one day try your hand at writing something yourself!
Thanks so much for the update!! 💖
My fic recs can be found here:
GGDD Fic
WangXian Fic
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chelzone · 6 months
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played through Snoot Game (that 4chan-made parody of Goodbye Volcano High) and spent 5 hours going through my first run to get the best ending. here's some thoughts on it
from the getgo, it is not as turbo evil or turbo edgy as folks make it out to be. there's some shit here and there that i see and go "yeah that sucks but of course a high school cast would say that shit, i remember hearing stuff on that level AND worse back in my own high school years"
story is fucking stellar and the writing matches it nicely. feels like im actually seeing high schoolers written genuinely instead of coming across as alien
art is a mix-up at times. the characters themselves look great throughout, though im a bit bummed out sometimes the backgrounds go from nicely drawn to just real life photos put through a filter. feel like it would've been better if they EITHER spent time drawing every background OR went all in on the filtered photos instead
despite what ive heard and seen, the protagonist Anon just really feels like a hyper-insecure and painfully autistic (i am autistic) kid going through the motions. throwing in the angle of him coming from a poor background and feeling judged immensely cause of it really hit hard
the game definitely has some racist elements, i'm not making an excuse for that at all LMAO. it sucks, what else do you want me to say other than "no i dont condone that are you fucking stupid"
the fourth ending seems like it makes the most sense for everyone in the cast to grow and develop. i've looked up stuff for the other endings and they all feel like drastic bad times caused by the player purposefully wanting the cast to fail. considering how much heart is put into the fourth / best one, yeah it makes sense that you should want the best for everyone and help them grow into being better folks
anyway there's just some thoughts i can rattle off my head. i know it's not for everyone and i dont blame you if you still hate it. i genuinely had a great time playing it last night and im hoping to take some pointers from it someday when i put out my own VNs.
u also gotta remember im a gal who grew up on 4chan shit as a kid, encyclopedia dramatica, and what have you. seen a bunch of awful shit my whole life and still do, but i know how to handle that shit responsibly and still work to be a good person. i like feel good wholesome content, i like edgy shit, and i like normie shit inbetween. gotta see all lenses of life and see what you can learn from the good, the bad, and the ugly
none of us are perfect, but just like that funny Anon we've all got the potential to grow and better ourselves in an uncertain world
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enhaheeseung · 2 years
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HI! i still need to read your most recent fic, ill do that after i send this and give my feedback through my reblog <3. but you asked why we like those works so much so.. (im not sure if you really wanted a response but im here to give you one anyway!!!)
for train ride home, the way it was literally so corrupt but also so gentle really like 🧍🏾‍♀️🧍🏾‍♀️ made me speechless tbh. just the way you wrote him as a character. ive never read anything with that particular theme but its honestly one of my favorite things and maybe a small fantasy of mine... so to see it written about someone i think about quite often was really great. it also made me feel a little less weird about enjoying something like that.
for best friends, i really enjoy just the over all theme. its very much something i would do. the whole making a "mistake" and then pulling back. i think it was really relatable but also just the way you captured the jealousy of heeseung. the way that he got mad when the reader tried to do the same things he does. i genuinely wanted to smack him when he got all pissy over her wanting to go talk to the dude, but im glad he didnt let her.
for darling, i think i said this in my reblog but the end made my oral fixation go crazy. i write a little bit but theres a few things that im a bit nervous to write about, that being one of them. im not sure why, but like the whole falling asleep with it in your mouth thing makes me weak in the knees lmao
but overall i just really enjoy your work. while we obviously dont know heeseung in that particular light, i think that you write him in way that makes me think "oh yeah this makes sense" or "i could see him doing something like that". this makes reading so much more enjoyable cuz i feel like some people write without really connecting the theme/content with the person theyre writing for.
Thank you for the response cause I was dead serious😳
So first off
Ngl with train ride home I literally thought about what other girls fantasize about if that makes sense I did absolutely no research btw lol it’s just kinda a pattern that I see from other stories and themes geared towards the female audience so I kinda went off of that bad guy good girl vibe like obviously I didn’t use that theme but I’m using that as an example so for instance it’s kinda like you want a bad but good boy, so like a perv and a gentleman if anyone even understands what I’m trying to say you’d think I’d be good with words but here we are 🤡
Moving on
Best friends was just something I made on the spot with a ton of editing in between when I wrote his character for that I wanted to capture that uncertainty that so many men have when it comes to relationships as well as the female character being so in love with him that she kinda just takes what she can get and ends up making mistakes and hurting herself even more than he has I’ve seen this happen so many times before just without the happy ending and I also made his character with traits like a lot of guys In friendships where he kinda got the best of both worlds having a female best friend and girls on the side but he never really felt complete without the female lead
And last but not least
Darling there’s not much to say not gonna lie to you I was just in a moody mood when I wrote that it’s pretty short but definitely gets the point across if you’re into that kind of thing I’m glad you feel less weird about liking those things cause to me it’s not weird at all and just so you know I know more people that are into that than I can count on fingers with both hands
love that you mentioned being nervous to post some things cause so am I like there are themes I made but they will never see the light of day just cause they are a bit out there and I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable plus y’all don’t need to know everything that goes on in this brain of mine
I do try to go outside the box with my writing I don’t read a lot of fanfics but I think a lot of my concepts and writing style has not been done before so I try to spice things up and keep it interesting I incorporate a lot of smut but I feel like In some of my stories I built a foundation that will make readers comeback or ask for a part 2 cause even though there’s smut in it I developed the characters well enough to where you want to see more little off topic but stories like “angel” or “train ride home” are themes I’ve never seen done before that and everyone seemed to really enjoy those so my mind runs miles trying to come up with new ideas
As for the way I write heeseung it’s just literally all the fantasies I have about him tbh I write him exactly how I think about him😌
Also this was really fun responding to actually like I wouldn’t mind going into more detail about my plots if anyone is interested kinda felt like a mini interview and I just love answering questions
Sorry this is so long without any punctuation forgive me😞
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the8bitoctavius · 8 months
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so this isnt going to make any kind of sense cause its an AU thats been festering in my brain for like 4+ months and ive only written about half a chapter on because i have too many thoughts about it and none of them are consistent
BUT. I need. To get this. Out of my brain.
So the 2012 gang are trying to come up with a song for the karaoke and they ultimately come up with nothing. Red (2018 Raph) said that a good idea would be something that comes from their universes timeline seeing as they’re in the year 2012.
Raph- Ugh, how hard is it to come up with a stupid song to sing?
Lee- Obviously, it’s difficult seeing as we’re still thinking about it.
Donnie- Maybe we should choose something we’d all like. Let’s start with a genre? What genre do we all like.
Lee/Mikey/Raph- Rock.
Donnie- Ookay, that was easy. So what rock song are we gonna sing?
Lee- Well they have to be playable by us.
They all look at her in confusion.
Lee- I mean, I heard some of the others were doing live instruments so I thought-
Donnie- Yeah, actually thats a good idea. Plus it narrows it down a lot.
Raph- Now, we just have to find something that sounds like something we’d play.
Mikey- I GOT IT!
Raph- He’s about to say something completely stupid.
Mikey- Feel Good Inc!
Raph- See- wait. Actually that isn’t a half bad idea.
Donnie- Isn’t too difficult to play. And it was a staple back when we were younger..
Lee- Good job, Mikey.
Raph- I didn’t know he had a good idea in him.
Donnie- Oh no, Mikey loves music. It’s about the only thing I can’t get him to shut up about.
Lee- I’ve never heard him talk about music.
Donnie- He talks about it all the time, you guys just tune him out.
Mikey- Yeah..
Lee- Oh.. well
Donne- Anyway, before this gets too awkward. Mike, I have a question.
Mikey- Shoot.
Donnie- Whose gonna do that maniacal laugh that plays in the song.
Lee- Raph can do it.
Raph- No the fuck I can not. Im not that insane..
Mikey- I can do it!
Both Lee and Raph start laughing.
Cut to the stage (its okay if it doesn’t make sense, its doesn’t have to.) The 2012 gang are tuning their instruments when Purple (2018 Donnie) comes in to make sure things go to schedule.
Lee- Hey Purple, your brother said that you were good at maniacal laughs. Do you think you could do the laugh for our song?
Mikey- Hey! I already said that I could do it.
Raph- Ha! You don’t have an evil bone in your body. Crazy? Maybe but you’re not evil and you definitely can’t laugh like you are.
Purple- I’ll be the judge of that. C’mon other brother, give it your best shot.
And when Mikey starts laughing, it was like hearing a different person. It was so unhinged and off-putting. They couldn’t believe that their scatter-brained little brother could make such a sound. Except, Donnie. Donnie already knew.
Purple- Wow.
Mikey- See! I told you I could do it!
Lee- Y-yeah. I guess I should’ve put more faith in you..
Raph- What the fuck. How the hell??
Mikey- I just reached down into the deepest, Raphiest anger parts and let it out. Its kinda therapeutic, actually.
Raph- And how come you aren’t surprised, Brainiac?
Donnie- Mikey vents his frustrations to me a lot, so I know the depths of his anger. And trust me, he’s the last person here you want angry.
Mikey- B-Team solidarity, yo!
Anyway I have like 7492738302 headcannons for 2012 alone. I’ll just make a list.
B-Team are like mega close. It’s like PBJ from 2018 but 2012-ify it.
Mikey is smart, just in like random ass things like Music, Art, Philosophy for some reason. He had the most emotional intelligence out all of them.
Transfem Leo. Duh.
They can all play instruments (because ICK) Lee on guitar, Mike on keyboard, Raph on drums and Don on bass.
None of that like evil Raph. He is just terrible at portraying his feelings.
Lee is the same way but she’s trying.
Thats it, I think.
Oh they all know Japanese (Splinter taught them but Lee uses it the most)
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signs-of-the-moon · 10 months
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Hello!! I saw that you're taking questions! Ive actually been thinking, which of your cats have you enjoyed writing the most? Are there any oc's of yours that you find really hard to write? <3
Hey!! These are some great questions, thanks for sending them!
Overall I've enjoyed writing most of SOTM's characters. I love exploring different perspectives, personalities, and seeing how cats react in certain situations (especially bad ones cause you get the best sense of character from those.) I'd say the oc I've enjoyed writing the most is Snowfrost! I really love getting into Snowfrost's mind; her perspective and way of speaking are fun, especially since in the end she's a bad guy. She thinks really highly of herself and will go out of her way at times to justify her own actions or emotions. Its enjoyable to see that contrasted against the world around her and how they react to what she does. Plus when I write Snowfrost I can use my own emotions to power hers. She helps me release a lot of the frustrations I feel irl. Writing for her is almost therapeutic.
Moonpaw is probably the oc who's been the most challenging to write. I know what her personality is supposed to be. She's fearless sometimes to the point of wrecklessness, but kind towards others. She's a chatterbox, and sometimes has trouble listening to others when they're trying to give her advice, especially if it goes against what she wants in her heart. She can be selfish and blind towards what's important, but she has strong family values. I feel as though I'm having a difficult time presenting all of that in writing (especially since she has to share the POV spotlight). Although Moon High is still only in its first act, so there's time to show Moonpaw's personality better. But I feel like I'm falling into the "boring goody two shoes main character" trope with her. Its a slippery slope and I want to make her as interesting as the world and character stories around hers are.
Now I'll turn the questions back onto you and the rest of SOTM's audience. Who do you think is the most enjoyable character that I've written? And who feels the weakest?
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morrysillusion · 8 months
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Penrose: Dawning- the dev blog
Okay well my game has been up for a few days now, and the Jam is over so yeah, why not give a massive blog about it and the development and characters and feelings etc.
again this was quite a feat for me, so to say. as small as the game is. ive been struggling a ton for years and years, so the process and experience has stuck with me for the last month.
The personal
If you have followed and read some of my posts from the last month youd probably seen me talking about having seen a neurophysiologist-- my appointments for that were happening for quite a while before this month but this month was the end of it. Aside from it clearly being a huge stressor in general, it was also a huge eye opener to my problems. Which yeah, include my ability to Make Things. Not art- but everything else. The listening & reading comprehension, math and memory I tested on being really really bad. And it was great to understand that now! but having decided to take on the Jam was a lot and well, even though on one hand i felt good that I knew my issues.... it didn't mean i solved my issues. Now i was just way more away of them.
So, I tried my hardest I think because I knew I'd always give up on this stuff. And well, my mood meds were still kinda helping. I think there was a different kind of determination despite the upset that some of those tests caused me. Still, I faced a lot of anxiety, frusteration, and upsetting feelings in the process because of how hard it was for me to learn even the smallest things. I won't go super hard on that-- I just want to appreciate the small community of Narrat for being able to help and clarify my confusion even if I'd often say to myself "ugh, that was such a simple thing! i shouldnt need to get it clarified two times over!" etc etc.
still despite the variety of emotions i faced i came out of this really thinking 'wow i actually made something' because literally all these years i have never realized a larger project due to my issues. so for that i can be happy.
The development
the process of making this game was interesting because obvious i had never put my assumptions about the best way to develop to the test. i could think all the while "ill do this first, this second etc" but until you start making it you may realize you gotta do something else!
the fact this was only a month long didnt really give me much time to figure out better ways to develop, it i was already a ways into it. so i came out realizing what i could do diffferent. one thing for sure is i know i couldnt start with art. its just not possible in general to predict the art i would need clearly, because even if i were to write a lot, i felt that making dialog branches was much easier while i was coding because i never knew how far i would want them to go.
but also, in terms of writing- i already write a lot and i kinda have my mental process. getting that to work with the game was tough, and while i liked how i wrote for this game, i feel like it faltered in the sense that writing so many bits of it entirely away from each other had my struggling to make sure i felt connected. like, writing on one huge document allows me to easily refer back and having it all together makes it flow well in my head. but having them scattered around code was hard for me to track and i was never sure if it all felt like it connected up well. i also think in general if i wrote most of the important chunks- stuff not incredibly reliant on branches/choices- that i probably would have written waaaay more too. its just a format of writing that is natural.
there isnt too much as i did in the game coding wise so i dont have too many comments on development process. but i know i would like to make games in narrat that use the typical features found in games like DE (as the engine was inspired by), like stats/skills and maybe inventory depending on the thing.
The story & design
i dont plan to explain the story in detail here (a lot of secret context it on my discord) and i have talked loads about trying to write the themes its tackled.
the main thing about it is just that i have never properly realized Penrose and well. I was facing a creative block this last month which caused more struggles. But it was harder with art- mostly design. coming up with a design is harder in a block than reading a thing that says "draw a series of houses". thinking up something new is not easy. and my head also gets very stuck up in "if you design this and draw it, you can never change it".
Eden was pulled from my old unused RP character, Eden Creature, and so i was able to base her off something already. even so making anything at all was hard- even for Mick who already existed. I really didnt want her and Eden to revert back into my old style because its just no me anymore but at the same time i do want to get something unique for this story. Dawning does not reflect what I want exactly. I like what i managed to do esp in working with my time constraints. but, its not something i want to keep doing going forward.
the story was WAY more condensed than i thought it would be and its because i didnt really realize how quickly approaching the deadline was compared to my work. but at the same time i am glad it was? i was quite ambitious with how big i wanted this "proof of concept" to be, to where i definitely probably would have gotten farther in the plot and realized i had no clue exactly what I wanted.
because i do have a general idea of this story but not like. enough. and so shortening the story hugely for this demo was actually a good thing because i would have had to write a lot more and also probably wouldnt have been able to explain lore well enough because of how little i understood my own world. and when youre creative blocked its incredibly hard trying to development of that world too.
conclusion
i mentioned it breifly in a blog post but tbh the most scary part is having it hit that i am nervous has to how people will take my characters. not in a criticism kinda way but just the idea that people just wont really 'get' them. and even just the idea that my OCs have been "presented to the world" in some sense. i do stuff in my own little space all the time and never think about what it would really be like to put a game on itch.io or even like publish a proper animation on youtube or publish a book or something. its different and its weird because i have always thought to myself that i want people to see my OCs! but then i put it up in a place where it likely will be seen and I am afraid of that.
its probably for it being a first time. and also i need to learn confidence in this kind of work i was so into thinking i could never truly make because of my issues. this was still like, very very hard to do mentally etc and i feel very exhausted. but i really dont want this to be the first and last time i try and make something.
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