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nyancrimew · 10 months

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fucked up sorta intoxicated long vent

cw: uuh mental health, drugs, suicide mentions, very much is just an existential crisis put into post form

this is not a suicide note or anything, im about to go cuddle up with my wife and go to sleep i just had to get my fucked up thoughts out, i might delete this tomorrow

meaning

it's so hard to find meaning in life anymore. i live for those around me, for those i love, those who love me back. yet i keep hurting them, everything keeps falling apart. i live out of spite, i cant let authority win. yet im slowly giving up my cause. i live to prove a point. ive long forgotten what point it even is anymore.

there hasnt really been any new compelling reason to keep going in over 10 years now. i honestly wonder how much it even really takes anymore to drive me to suicide. it can't be that much, im already always living on edge.

i just barely know who i even am anymore, ive largely forgotten the first 20 years of my life, and the last 3 are mostly just fog as well. forced to live in the moment, carrying all the baggage of all the previous moments i dont even have memories of anymore.

how are people just like able to keep living, regularly finding joy. how are people able to deal with bad times without immediately pondering all the ways in which they could kill themselves in?

god i need therapy so fucking bad. i keep dragging down everyone around me. how can i fix all the damage ive done, a sorry won't do. how can i fix all the damage done to me, no sorry will ever do.

why are the only options to just keep going, ignoring all the pain, or ending it all forever. where is the restart button, where can i reset, rewind, apply what ive learned to the situations where i fucked up. how do i go back and undo all the trauma. the trauma i experienced myself and the trauma i put on others.

we're all just lost children in a world not made for us. where is our world. where is the place in which we can find solace. your arms make me feel safe, and at home. but i know you feel the same way i do.

it pains me to know we're in this together, god if only i could bear your pain, if only i could bear everyone elses pain. it hurts me to know you feel this way too. no one should have to know how this feels. i wanna take on all the pain in this world so i can leave and turn the world around.

am i just failing at being a part of this society or is society failing me. i am like one bureaucratic fuck up away from dying alone on the street with no roof over my head. i cannot be self dependent, why does this society fully expect such a thing of me.

is this all worth it for the few moments of bliss, for sparing the people around me from the pain of losing me. would the pain of losing me be greater than the pain i cause every day?

i am lost. i dont know anymore. fuck i need therapy. or just anything that can fix me. the drugs certainly haven't yet, but at least i also have dependency to fight with now i guess.

yea fuck man idk

#mental health #yea idk #i was originally gonna just throw this on my blog #but while i want this to be read by people i think i want to at least somewhat control the spread of it #feel free to leave input and nice replies and stuff

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bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love · 4 months

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Ok i gotta say it 410 and 411 have me thinking. I have some views on Shigaraki and it's not all " Yes win baby" or "Look at my king" thoughts. Of course I want him well at the end, that hasn't changed. He's still my all time fav character even if a certain other Mha character is right behind him, Tomura will never be knocked out of 1st place in my heart. Now with that being said I sincerely want Izuku to beat some sense into him.

His hate is corrupting his own mind and heart. He can never be happy or at peace like this. Hatred eats up your soul leaving a shell of nothingness behind.

I love how extremely powerful and Godlike he is, but I also miss the old tantrum throwing guy who didn't know how to display his emotions. Or the guy who fought Giga and took the PLF. The amount of power he has is scary cause he can't live in mha with that degree of power. No I'm not saying he will die but he will have to lose it somehow.

Does he still care for the league. He once told Toga he wouldn’t destroy what she loved, that he wanted his allies to have what they wanted, yet he's destroying the very country they live in. The destructive Villian who was feared but had a heart and cared for those around him was what alot of people found endearing, often mentioning it as a reason he would be OK at the end. That guy is gone. (Temporarily I think)

Went from wanting to destroy All Might to Hero society to all of Japan. This is what happens when hate takes root in your heart. When no one REACHES OUT A HAND TO HELP.

His smile use to be almost sweet and calm and now has elements of deranged power behind it (yes he's still gorgeous hot sexy, I'm just stating thoughts)

The leader who cared for his comrades and took revenge when they were hurt yet hasn't wondered if they are OK. Sure, he mentioned Spinner, but idk it was off like an BTW moment

He doesn't see himself as human. What he does see himself as was not mentioned but im willing to bet he sees himself as a God of destruction.

With all this said YES I belive he will be alive at the end (well I'm about 80% sure he will, if not he will always be in my heart) and no I don't think he will be locked in some prison, it wouldn't serve a purpose for Hori to keep him alive just to lock him up now that's not saying he won't be in some program to actual HELP HIM cause if he lives (he will) he won't have a quirk, I dont see it. And lastly somehow Izuku will have to literally reach out a hand to him. Seriously how many times has the actual image of someone physically reaching out been shown, dozens.

Also the whole make him a kid again is stupid. Tenko and Tomura are the same person, he doesn't have a child living in his body, his heart...yes. Tenko represents all that Tomura Shigaraki has repressed, his dream of being a hero, the sweet little boy who cared for his friends (hmm the more powerful he got the less we saw this quality) so he becoming Tenko again refers to his heart not having that black hole inside it. It means his heart will be free. Not that he will revert to 5 years old. There is still a chance Hori could do that but even if his writing can be questionable I don't think he'll go this off the grid.

#shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #mha spoliers #bnha spoilers #shigaraki meta #mha #bnha #mha manga spoilers #shigaraki thoughts #mha meta #bnha manga spoilers #manga spoilers

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girlswhosmell100000 · 1 month

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ig im screaming into the void atp but after being on twt it really feels like niche little corners on the internet made for various minority groups that used to go unbothered for years are now being found by conservative stonetoss andrew tate types and shaking up the community by causing infighting and other horrible shit. i miss when i wasnt seing ai generated pics of fat black rainbow haired strawmen. i miss when people were a little more sensitive to suicide and the fact that a lot of us are wrongfully taken from this world too soon, either by the hands or the words of people who seek to totally eliminate us and laugh at us the rest of the way. nex benedict should be alive. trans and nonbinary communities both online and in person should be safe. i should be able to enjoy black edits without seeing a massive influx of racists reminding me that i am a racial minority hated by many, many people, and that people who do these edits are hypocrites or whatever that deserve to have their black edits whitewashed. i miss when eating disordered people didnt have extremely public and popular communities that just consist of hurting themselves in a cute way or ruining fat peoples lives. i hate that more boys are growing up and making rape jokes and normalizing pedophilia, and more boys are growing up hating women and anything feminine. i hate that there are proud racist crossdressers and proud racist trans communities. i hate "LGB without the T". i hate that an entire country is being controlled by self identified terfs. i miss when the most liked reply to a picture of dead child with their legs blown off wasnt "if only oct 7 didnt happen" and, "was it worth it, hamas?" and "pallywood propaganda". i miss when human life used to be more valued.

i miss being invisible instead of the center of attention. 1st world problems i know. maybe it was because i was extremely naive and held a firm mindset that everything will be ok in the end, that evil would never win as long as there is good. maybe things really were better than they are now. maybe its because im getting older and opening my eyes, or maybe because the algorithm is just making me painfully aware of every horrible belief ever. maybe nothings changed. i dont know. its ok if you think im privileged for saying these things or that im whining. i understand. i hate life so much right now. im sorry. i miss feeling like i knew the world was gonna get its shit together before id die. i miss being confident in the thought that somebody would swoop in and stop it all. im sorry. this is a very selfish post and im sorry

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powertaco · 1 year

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Vol 9 Spoiler Rant (aka I have waited and thought on it and still dont’ like it/Ranting ahead

I hate Volume 9

I’ll start by saying that upfront so you aren’t shocked or surprised by a conclusion later down the line, and can leave if the notion of disliking it offends you.

I don’t doubt I’ll get many blocks or people who disagree with this take, which is fair since I’m putting the opinion out there and should be able to take it on the chin or stand by it.

This will contain spoilers for V9, my thoughts on a lot of things, ships, and what not so if you want to turn back now the back button is over yonder.

If it’s disjointed I apologize but I’m not feeling my best, and the longer I think about it the more I dislike it and I’m sick of pretending and being toxically positive about it.

First off I’ll get a few things out of the way as things I approve of.

The animation has largely grown phenomenally. There’s a few moments that are a little out of it (yo why you got a 3 foot neck Weiss?), but for the most part considering where we came from in the bass on the wall days of Volume 1. Big win here.

The music. Good work Casey. Red Like Roses 3 is a banger, inside is great, and checkmate is…something. Overall good stuff.

VA work. Good deal. Rob nails his ‘surprise’ villain as he always nails his roles but people seem to be putting their all into it. No hate here, and these guys clearly brought their A game. Good work!

This volume as a whole is very middling to me, bordering on bad depending on if or how V10 recontextualizes things that happened, which I will try to go into later.

Essentially if you were a big fan of Bees this might be one of your favorites, but if you’re just kinda neutral to them like me then the volume didn’t have a lot to offer you and didn’t do much to really move the story forward.

Remember when Ambro said don’t fall in V8 like it was a big ominous thing, and remember how it ended up being almost entirely beneficial? Yeah so V9 was like that. Setting up stuff for an instant week to week payoff regardless of if it hurt the story or not cause we need that interest spiked to greenlight V10.

For a Volume that took so long to make the entire thing is remarkably rushed.

Why do Ruby and Weiss talk so little? Serious question. Even if you don’t ship them they’re supposed to be canon best friends, and yet they share almost as many lines together in the last few seasons as they do with Ren. In case you were wondering that’s not many.

We had a reduced cast of characters and almost none of them can actually be bothered to interact meaningfully.

Why does Weiss and everyone keep ditching Ruby except Little? Ruby has a basically perfect assassin after her, and in the market everyone ditches her cause of nose hairs.

But what can they do against Neo? Nothing, but they could maybe point her out, or talk and help distract her rather than leaving her to her own devices when she’s clearly not feeling well.

Sometimes having someone there for you can help a lot, but instead we need to have Weiss backslide and the others abandon her so she can be alone to meet the smith.

This is bad writing. I’m sorry but it is. Had this been Volume 1-3 Weiss? Sure I could buy this, but this is not that Weiss. If you need to have Ruby be alone to meet the smith, work harder. You had years for this. This would have gotten a C at best in a writing class with a see me after class/don’t keep using coincidences like this note attached to it.

If you’re going to tell me I’m not a professional writer so I can’t critique then that’s asinine. I don’t drive trucks for a living but if I see one ramp off a cliff and into a pit I can tell you that, that guy/gal has messed up.

If Weiss wanted to help cheer on or try to get Bees together then that’s an even worse reason as the aforementioned ASSASSIN is after her partner.

“Oh but Neo wouldn’t attack in a busy market!” My guy do you know Neo “i live only to murder this woman’ AT ALL? There’s an amusing quote I can ascribe to her actions “i will kill as many people as I have to as long as you are one of them!”

There was a reason the meme, ‘squads that would treat Ruby better’ was going around through volume 9 and even included pictures of villains.

Blake and Ruby never talk outside of that one scene in V8, and Yang has focused way more on Blake and way less on being a sister.

I’ve seen people defend her actions as being a target for her sister’s actions when she steps in front of Blake, but please note Yang just let her yell at Weiss and did nothing, until she starts yelling at Blake.

Yeah, no I’m sorry she lets her have a go at Weiss and then when her girlfriend is getting her feefees hurt then she steps in. Her talking to her sister after the hound was nice (but again prob would have been a decent Weiss moment)

That’s bullshit. Had Yang stepped in or tried to when she was talking to Weiss then I could buy this, but as is it’s just another thing to hold against her.

The bees eat a lot of screentime. If you’re a bee fan this is great. If you want story progression, this is not.

The world bends and revolves around them very literally. We need to have a confession bridge show up so they can confess but we can’t get a ‘you have to talk about what’s bothering you’ camp you can’t leave until you talk things out for Ruby?

What are the rules of ever after? Basically w/e so the only reason Ruby can’t get that is cause well we want a breakdown. Again great writing.

But let’s talk about it. Ruby has a breakdown. She complains there’s no time for her. It’s tragic because she’s put a lot of stuff on her own shoulders and internalized it.

Good acting here, even from Jaune.

Weiss puts out a hand and she flies away.

When our heroes next see her she’s drank suicide tea. You can claim after the fact that ascension isn’t that (but i’m sorry that’s how it’s framed and the whole zooming into Yang’s eye thing is explicitly treated like it’s meant to be a big deal and get people talking)

Tragic truly, but you know what she believes in herself now, and now she’s all better. Her depression and desire to die are gone. I don’t know how it helps with Salem, as I’d be willing to bet Summer also believed in herself but it didn’t seem to help her much. If they go more into this in V10 I will retract this and accept it but I’m not in the mood to be forgiving to them atm.

Also again right after Ruby ‘kills’ herself they stop to help Jaune…just I’m sorry what?

Jaune still takes up too much time and serves a role that’s almost not needed and I don’t even hate or dislike him. His interesting development is stripped away at the end.

By deaging Jaune now they can’t explain where they were with any real proof. A few scroll pics of a weird cat thing isn’t going to cut it.

He has a few gray stripes and will likely go back to acting like he normally does and other than Nora ragging him about them once or twice will likely not be mentioned again. He may on occasion get to say something ‘wise’ but I’m doubting it since he went back to being the same almost right away.

So rather than an aged, mature, and slightly damaged man going back and having to relate to his friends/people he knew he’s the same. Awesome development.

Plus side is that now that deaging is canon DWR can still win! Anyway he takes entirely too much focus away.

Ruby complains about how they have no time cause they have to help Jaune, and what do they do almost instantly after she ‘kills’ herself? Stop and help Jaune. It’s tonal whiplash.

I get that JNPR are supposed to be deuteragonist but holy hell almost all the time goes to Jaune who is by far the least interesting of the bunch imo even with all the time dumped into him.

Can we get more Ren and Nora? This could have been a good way for Nora to ‘learn’ who she is without Ren.

If Nora had fallen(say off her hammer into the void at the start from Cinder during the scuffle with Penny in the air) and they met a wizened Nora who tried to act chipper but was clearly putting up a front it would be a great foil/combo with Ruby.

It would also make her reuniting with Ren and being ready for a relationship in the next volume all the sweeter.

We spend an episode on the red prince. Neat. You know what would have been better for it? Almost anything else, say perhaps after Ruby’s ‘suicide’ they spend a few frantic minutes trying to get to the tree until they see the reincarnated paper pleasers and then are like oh, ok so she’ll prob come back/be alright instead of just ‘we did what we can’.

Girl I love you Weiss but you all did jack shit. You made one half hearted effort and stopped, and then every time Ruby might have gotten to talk they needed to help Jaune or something interrupted.

Good work being the best partner ever by the way especially when Ruby spends a large portion of the volume helping you with all your problems and rushing to your side without a bit of hesitation and in return you muster up…about nothing.

They did it in genlock and did it twice in this volume and arguably with Penny/Vine last volume. “Suicide is great!” Please stop doing this.

Speaking of Penny if you like her you might want to get CRWBY to be pallbearers at your funeral so they can let you down one last time.

If you liked Nuts’ and Dolts even more condolences. They’d have many chances to imply deeper feelings than friendship between them and take none of them. Her farewell song is called Friend where she talks about being friends with Ruby.

During the fight with her clones, the Penny clone never once says she loves her. This is Neo, mouse killer and person with the largest hateboner for Ruby in the show.

She is twisting the knife as much as she can so you can bet if she thought there was even an inkling there was more than friendly feelings between them she’d have had the clone say she loved her just to do that little bit more mental damage, but she didn’t.

If there was ever a time to bring it up to put her off balance it was now. Neo is under no pressure and has no reason to not do so, so it basically sinks the ship. Well more than her being dead already does.

I swear to god if they go to Vacuo and Pietro is in a coma or dead and there’s a new Penny I’m going to call Akira Toriyama and tell him RWBY is aping Dragon Ball because there’s no stakes in life or death anymore.

Oh right, speaking of Neo she’s pretty ok until the end where she decides she’s cool with Ruby, gets to get the kill on the cat and then just bows out and leaves, and everyone is…strangely cool with that.

Ascension or not I’m just struggling to think that any of them should just want her to essentially get away scot free. This woman tried to kill Ruby or get her to commit suicide and killed Little and we’re cool with letting her go because she killed the cat who was no longer a threat to them and did a hat doff? Um…yeah sure. I bet Yang is ok with people almost killing her sister, Weiss her best friend, etc. Then again maybe these versions of the characters are.

I don’t care much about how ascension will change her; she's paid for nothing she’s done. “Get your revenge and you’ll get it and still get away scoTt free’. Ok last of us two.

I can not overstate how pointless the suicide feels.

It feels like they wanted her to do it, but have it not ‘take’ or have consequences because they’re in ever after and can say ‘hey the ascension thing fixes it’.

Look, I'm glad the bees got together. Really I’m happy for you, but if you take out the Bee stuff, and the pining you’re left with a threadbare story that is only barely there since it’s all resolved in about five minutes.

We all deserve better than that. The characters deserve better than that.

I could keep going as this just scratches the surface level but it’s pissing me off to keep thinking about it.

#rwby #taco rambling hour #rwby volume 9 #spoilers #volume 9 spoilers #didn't like it that much #sorry #kinda long #my b #bumbleby #nuts and dolts #whiterose

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sebbianas · 1 year

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[spidey!steve au where steve loses his first fight as spiderman and eddie is patching him up.]

it was a close call, if robin hadnt came in and helped steve, he would have been seriously injured and the enemy would have gotten away. he was quiet as eddie patches up his bruises and cuts, eddie tries to talk to him but his mind is racing with all the things he could have done better.

maybe if he was faster the enemy wouldnt have been able to cut his web and cause him to fall. maybe if he was stronger he could have knocked the enemy out after that first few punches. maybe if he was smarter he could have seen who the enemy was before this fight even began. maybe—

“knock it out, stevie.” eddie said as he flicker steve on the forehead. “i can hear you thinking.”

steve glares at eddie. “i’m injured. you’re not allowed to hurt me even more.”

eddie rolls his eyes. “dont be dramatic. thats my thing.”

steve looks away from eddie’s kind eyes. it was distracting and all he wanted was to brood over his lost today.

“look.” eddie started, grabbing steve hands and holding it in his. “the villain was caught and apprehended. thats all that matters, sweetheart.”

steve stares at their hands, eddie’s hands were rough but they were warm compared to steve cold ones. “i almost lost and if werent for robbie i would have died and that asshole would gotten away and do more. its a big deal, eddie!”

“but he didnt okay. he’s taken down and you and rob saved the day. it all comes down to that. you saved this town again, steve.” eddie said softly, squeezing steve’s hand.

“thats not enough.” steve growled. he let go of eddie’s hands and jumped down the counter. ran his hands thru his hair, stared at eddie, feeling defeated. “i was given this power, eddie. its special and wonderful and even with this great responsibility i almost lost! i wasnt fast enough or strong enough or smart enough! whats the point of having this power if i cant even use it right! im still the same loser i was before i got it!”

“listen to me.” eddie called to him, grabbing him by his waist. “you’re not special because you’re spiderman, steve. spiderman is special because he’s you.”

steve stopped breathing. is it because of eddie’s hand on his waist or because of what eddie said he’ll never know. “what?”

“you didnt become a great person when that spider bit you, steve. you were already an amazing person who is kind and wonderful and sweet. spiderman is loved and respected because underneath that mask is you. you made spiderman what he is and his powers are just tools for you to use but the core of who he is and how well loved he is is because of you, stevie.” eddie said, pulling him even closer. “you didnt start saving people when you put on that mask. you were already saving lives before that. you saved mine when i was at my lowest, saved robin when she was having doubts and fear. saved dustin and the kids by taking care of them. you are the perfect person to be spiderman because no one has the same heart as you, okay?”

“but...” was all steve could say.

“not buts, stevie.” eddie continued. “you saved this town over and over again and i know you’ll have more fights to come and we’ll be there for you, to help you win every fight and if you lose we’ll be here to patch you up and get you ready for the next fight. you’re the perfect spiderman, steve harrington and no gets to question that. not even you.”

eddie pulled him back to the counter so he can finish patching up steve. all steve could do was watch him. feeling warmth and love for the man in front of him, steve knew he could win all his fights with eddie taking care of him like this.

spiderman was indeed special but not because steve harrington was underneath the mask but because he has eddie munson in every step.

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steve stranger things #steddie stranger things #eddie stranger things #steve x eddie #steddie headcanon #spidey steve harrington

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honkceasar · 10 months

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Okay big infodump that might not make any sense about The guy who didn’t like musicals, Black Friday, and genloss!!! They’re very similar and I think that’s very cool!!!! I love finding similarities between media I enjoy!!!!!!!!!!

‼️Spoilers for all 3 episodes of generation loss, Black Friday, and The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals!!! Also various descriptions of gore!!!‼️

-So this isn’t really an actual in-depth comparison but both the hatchetfield musicals and genloss are live comedy-horror shows that reuse actors and have an edited version posted on YouTube later and I think that is a really funny coincidence lmao

Okay so the first real thing that stuck out to me is that the comedy to horror balance of genloss is SOOO reminiscent of the hatchetfield musicals!! It’s part of why I adore genloss so much honestly. Starkid already has such a place in my heart, so watching something that gave that same comedy-to-horror balance made me fall in love with it immediately.

- Tgwdlm and Spirit of the Cabin I think are most similar in terms of tone. Both genloss and tgwdlm have that quality of “not scary until you think about it but once you do it’s HORRIFYING” concept and I’m SUCH A SUCKER FOR THAT. Granted, the horror of the first ep of genloss doesn’t hit that hard without the revelations of the second, but I feel like my point still stands. Also they both kind of poke fun at the horror genre in general?? Tgwdlm is supposed to parody the ENTITE horror genre, and I feel like with the amount of references to old horror movies in spirit of the cabin, I think it’s safe to say ranboo was doing something similar. (Also they both involve strange colored goo that replaces the appearance of actual gore?? Like when I realized what the slime was in genloss I couldn’t stop thinking about Charlotte’s blue intestines in Join Us And Die)

- While I don’t think it’s as great of a comparison, ep 2 and 3 of genloss definitely have a tone similar to Black Friday. Black Friday and The Mastermind of the Warehouse both have parts of them that are so absurd you start to wonder how it’s ever going to get that scary and then a bombshell drops out of NOWHERE. Like the feeling I got between What Do You Say and Feast or Famine in BF was the same as Charlie’s silly slime dissection turning to real blood and guts. I’d say towards the end of Black Friday it starts to feel like The Choice, but I don’t know how similar I could really say they are without reaching lol.

Okay here’s where I might just really want these to be more similar than they are BUT there’s also some really fun plot similarities between the hatchetfield musicals and generation loss!

- Mind control!! They both kind of have mind control! With tgwdlm, the weird goop shit can make people do things they normally would NEVER do. (Paul participating in a musical, Charlotte hurting people, Sam literally pointing a gun at his wife’s head and later ripping her insides out.) Wiggly in Black Friday also alters people’s perception in that way, making them more violent and desperate. The comparison of tgwdlm and genloss gets me the most though honestly. I think about how Professor Hidgens sings “you’ve just got to give up your choice” in Let It Out a LOT in terms of genloss ranboo. Nothing gl!ranboo does is HIS choice. He has to comply with the various games showfall makes him play if he wants to live or have any free will at all. Any time he breaks through the control and the filter, he becomes even more of an npc. None of his choices are his own.

- Okay this one’s more funny than serious but all of the hatchetfield shows and genloss have fucking time loop theories that make me insane actually. I keep desperately trying to make What If Tomorrow Comes make sense for genloss cause of the time loop implications but I’m really just grasping at straws lol let me BELIEVE.

- THE PROTAGONISTS DONT WIN (and it makes me so sad every time). Literally everyone in tgwdlm eventually dies/becomes a weird singing zombie. They even lure you into a false sense of hope with Paul and Emma that they managed to escape, just for it to be revealed that Paul has already been transformed and Emma has no hope for survival. In Black Friday, Wiggly remains undefeated, and the implied ending is that they get nuked by Russia due to the misplaced bomb. (tomorrow never comes!!) In generation loss, Sneeg is always so close but never truly reaches freedom, Charlie dies the moment he understands what has happened to him, and ranboo…..well. ⬛️ He even gets that same false sense of hope!! He defeats showfall, shuts it all down!! The exit is right there!!!!! He’s going to escape!!!!!! Just for him to get captured and crucified. The audience doesn’t even get to know if death really freed him. It’s that same kind of cruel ending where the protagonists efforts just,,,, don’t accomplish anything. The hero doesn’t succeed, and suffers for trying at all.

-there’s also like,,, religious imagery in Black Friday and genloss but nothing really to compare there, just neat

Okay silly rant over!!! I just really like genloss and the fact that it feels so similar to previous fixations I’ve had just makes it even more special to me :^)

#ps if you remember my starkid era you’re a real one #generation loss #genloss #gen loss #ranboo #ranboolive #starkid #team starkid #tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #black friday #black friday musical #shut tf up jules

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genderwoods · 9 months

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this is a long post talking about my ocs and my wip. feel free to skip!! i just want to get over my embarrassment of talking about them

ok so. to talk about my ocs first i need to talk about the world theyre in. this is still a nameless wip but for now im calling it 'through the mist' while i decide on a better name.

brief explanation about the world: its the modern world as we know, maybe a few years into the future, but its not very important because society and technology are still pretty much the same. the difference is that in this story, the earth was enveloped by a dark and mysterious mist that is invisible to most people. the origins of this mist is still unknown, but what is known is that: 1) it affects peoples health in the areas that the mist is the most dense, and the number of lung diseases and cancer has incresead ever since it appeared. 2) it has some type of dark magic to it. its essence creates demon-like creatures called spectrums (i still want to find a cooler name) that are unknown by most people, but they bring chaos to the world. you can read more about spectrums and understand them better here (please mind any grammar mistakes, it is still a rough draft!)

but there are special people in the world known as the Enlighted that not only can see the mist, but they are aware of the existence of the spectrums and are given special powers to fight them. most of these people are born like normal humans, and only when they grow up they start to realize that they are different and that theres something wrong in the world they live in. once they find out about their own powers, they are located by a institution called Lux Mundi, and they are recruited either to be a scientist and schollar that studies the mist and the spectrums, or to be a warrior and fight the spectrums.

there are three types of enlighted: the lumen (those who are born with paranormal abilities to help them fight the spectrums), the saltium (those who are born with advanced intellect and are able to understand the complexities behind the magic of the mist and the spectrums) and the granum (those who are both lumen and saltium at the same time. they are very rare.)

this is all you need to know to understand the ocs!! i wont say a lot abt their backstories here so to not make the post even longer but if you want to ask me anything about them, feel free!

btw all of these characters are brazilian and the story takes place in brazil bc well. im brazilian and it was easier this way.

also im not an artist so all i have are picrews 💔 sorry for the low quality of some pictures, for some reason tumblr wont show the album i have them saved in when i open the gallery so i had to screenshot.

1. Kaiki Vitorino, 17

she's our main girl! Kaiki was born Salvador, Bahia but moved to São Paulo with her mom when she was a kid. she and her mom were very close, but due to complications caused by a lung disease, she passed away three years prior to the story, and Kaiki had to move in with her aunt (who also lived in São Paulo). Kaiki is very kind and empathetic, she would never hurt a fly and puts other peoples feelings above her own (sometimes a little too much). she loves geology and has a cool rock collection. Kaiki is a lumen, and her powers are called 'Blessed be The Light', which is basically light manipulation. i won't dive in too deep about their powers here, but you can ask me if you want to!

2. Ayla Rodrigues, 17

Kaiki's best friend since childhood (and secretly love interest)! Ayla was born in São Paulo and met Kaiki in school. she has a very complicated family, which includes divorced parents and a dead younger sister, who died in a car accident with her dad when he was drunk driving. she doesn't speak to him anymore, and grief they dont know how to deal with has led her and her mom to a complicated relationship. Ayla is closed off, aloof and even arrogant to most people. When someone wins her heart however, she shows her more vulnerable side: she's a nerd, loves literature, music and cult movies, likes anime, and will do anything for her loved ones, especially Kaiki, who she is so in loved with is embarrassing. she is a lumen, and her powers are called 'Blesed be the Gravity', which is, you guessed! gravity manipulation.

3. Dandara Carvalho, 20

Born and raised at Lux Mundi, Dandara is the Head Trainer of the Lumen's division. Daughter of Eva Carvalho, supreme leader of Lux Mundi's instalations in Brazil, and Isaac Carvalho, Vice-Supreme and Head Counselour for the Saltium's division, Dara is the real deal: strong, disciplined, determined. she has been training since she was a kid, and her mom has always been very strict when it comes to this. Dara was trained by the old Head Trainer before her, an old man called Kaluanã. He was wise beyond this world, but after his passing at the old age of 80yo, Dara took over his functions. Eva wants Dara to be the next Supreme Leader, but all that she wants is to keep training and teaching other Lumens. They have a very strained relationship, but she gets along very well with her dad. Dara may seem intimidating, but she actually has a heart of gold: she's a dork who loves her friends to death and has a loud and weird laugh. she wont stand for injustice and is extremely reliable. shes also extremely, totally down bad for her girlfriend Yasmin. her powers are called 'Blessed be The Fire', but she also knows a lot of different martial arts.

4. Yasmin Senna

Yasmin may not be very impressive at first, but those who know her know that she is, in fact, a genius. Born and raised in São Paulo, Yasmin has always been the pride and joy of her family: as a kid, she was mostly quiet and kept to herself, didnt talk to other kids a lot and prefered to spend the day cracking her toys open to see how they worked. Her bad social skills and reclusion made her an easy target for bullying in elementary school – kids would take her toys away and mess with her all day long. this lead to a fatidic accident where one day she had a meltdown and unleashed her powers, 'Blessed be the Sound', a type of soundwave manipulation, and left everyone in the scene, including her, deaf. nowadays, yasmin uses hearing aids, but she has long ago gotten used to being deaf, and she doesnt mind her disability, but feels extremely guilt for the accident. she's the grandaughter of kaluanã, daras old mentor, but she had only know him as a kid before he moved to Lux Mundi. this is what made dara want to get closer to her at first, but then they feel in love. yasmin is extremely smart – in fact, she is a granum, but she refuses to use her powers, so she only works in the Saltium division.

5. Eric Senna, 19

Yasmin's twin brother, Eric is probably the only out of the Lux Squad that has decent social skills. He's charming, charismatic, funny, smart and has the world's biggest ego. Eric carries a lot of guilt over the bullying that happened with Yasmin, because he feels like he was too weak to protect his sister, so he has kind of become overprotective over her, even this kind of pisses Yasmin off (and Dandara too). he's one of those people that always act like they're the best, but deep down are their own worst enemy. he's talented, has a hundred different hobbies and speaks three languages. eric is always down for challenges and he loves to prank people. he has a cat and dog relationship with Dandara: they're always fighting and bickering, but they truly care for each other a lot. Eric is a lumen and extremely insecure about his powers – 'Blessed be the Thunder', electricity/lightining manipulation – because no matter how much he trains, his powers doesn't seem to get stronger.

These are the 5 main characters kf my wip! WOW ok this was. a lot. If someone has actually read untill now. thanks a lot, and let me know if you have any questions about anything in my wip or about my ocs! I love to talk about them!! :D

#my ocs #through the mist #my wip #oc tag

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middleschoolfursona · 5 months

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literal tears are running down my face as i scroll thru your blog. on it it it feels like im back home.

i just wanna go back man. i just wanna be a kid running around on feralheart and drawing my ocs again and watching silly movies with my friends. it feels like im living a lie every single day of my life since then.

it hurts and fills me with so much shame to say that i feel like a kid, like i stopped mentally aging in like 2012, 2014 at the latest. the dysphoria is strangling. i dont want to describe it but yeah it sucks so bad.

i cant tell anyone in my life this in detail. cus i can feel the callouts. the sneers. the performative disgust. the gleeful hatred. everyone turning on me and making me into a joke. but this experience is so viscerally terrible and real and i cant just get over it and i cant choose to get better. i hate it.

youre the first person ive ever seen who seemed like theyd actually understand and its just overwhelming bcus it felt like i was completely alone. so i just wanted to say thanks for the catharsis of showing me im not beyond understanding. but im sorry if this is all selfish or upsetting. the last thing i wanna do is hurt or upset anyone, so feel free to ignore and delete.

thank you for ur blog and i hope you have a great day/week/month/year/life/forever <3

anon, im so so sorry i didnt answer this one sooner. i kept thinking, "when i get on desktop" but i never ended up back on desktop until i got this new monitor (win!)

i totally feel you, im glad i can bring you (though maybe bittersweet) comfort.

dysphoria and even feelings of 'transness' in places of identity other than gender and sex absolutely exist and are valid, and its really too bad its so stigmatized. you have my <3 and you have my thoughts. its tough, and theres more of us than youd think, hopefully, its an amount that comforts you... and i hope, you can find people who relate to you and you can share trust with and happy memories.

"performative disgust' is a topic i bring up a lot in this kinda discoursing. if i may, its pretty western too.. the need to be combative causes a strange sort of lash-out-culture, where people arent even neccisarily uninformed, its a lack of desire to be informed at all, and instead perform hatred for the acknowledgement of their peers. id know. it was me once. terrible and toxic situation, but its eaten the internet in many spaces....

its tough feeling trapped, unable to move forwards and feeling like youre "wrong". being disabled and growing up disabled makes those kinds of remarks and implications said by some people extra painful to me. and i know lots of us who feel dysphoria surrounding our facets of the self, both gender or non-gender, are neurodivergant as well, and as someone who was in special education, and then my school dropped me by force because i just "wouldnt" do my math, i know how painful it can feel both inside, but then to come forward and have people act like "just move forward" "just understand" "well you can never go back so just be here instead"... its painful.

i hope that between the time you sent this and now, youvbe found someone to be open to... if not, you can send me your discord off anon (wont pub) and we can chat there if you need it... youre certainly not alone anon, just the haters want you to feel that way. dont give in. do your best!

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weirdcat1213 · 9 months

Text

TRIGUN BOOKCLUB? MORE LIKE TRIGUN TRAUMA CLUB, AM I RIGHT :D

anyway

trimax volume 4 thoughts here we go oh boi oh boi :D

chap 1:

-hospital yuri you are so important to me you have no idea

-....countdown to what

-I LOVE THAT SCENE LMAO, boyfriend taking care of his boyfriend

-...why are the tomorrows appearing this early

-yey :D earth here we go

-whos giving vash that stupid tie i love him

-AH SHIT GET OUTTA HERE YO

-also aw :3 they are both creppy as hell :3 bros

-OH GODNESS THAT PANEL I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. ITS BASICALLY A CONVERSATION WITHOUT WORDS

-AW NO HES GOING BACK TO WORK MODE

-"i cried all day" ME MEMEMEMEMEME

chap 2:

-yeah bro kill them with the power of music >:D

-pure evil you say....interesting...

-anyway THE BASTARD IS HERE, GET HIM

-he has vash's smile what if jumped off the plane

-oh hes crazy i like it

-ok but...why does he have to be so cool....god damnit

-glad you have it clear

-legato you ARE SO DOWN BAD FOR KNIVES CMON MAN

-knives wins again the idgaf war lmaoooo

-thats what you get for bringing musical instruments to a knife fight

-MEANWHILE

-hey if you can keep secrets from vash i think its fair he keeps some stuff for himself too

-ah...yeah....i forgot about that.....why are you like this....

-i love the girls so much

chap 3:

-lmao they were just in the hospital

-YEAH MILLY TO THE RESCUEEEE

-BADASS MERYLLLL

-hey arent those the gloves she uses in stampede-

-OOOHHHH THEYRE HEREEEE

-wolfwood what if you shut up. like yeah you're right but. shut up. pls

-LIKE THOSE ARE HIS FRIENDS SIR CMONNNN

-PLS >:CCCCCC STOP

-"thats the tough part" yeah cuz they may not know everything but they KNOW YOU and that's everything for a lonely man such as yourself huh

-yooooo thats so interesting cuz imagine sealing your life like that and regretting all the killing and suffering you caused, sadly they have to pay for what they chose. nice karma if you ask me. and to make it even better nai (aka the mf with the god complex) is the one with the higher power to seal lives like that

-wait so like a swarm of bugs took meryl? this is one of the confusing volumes for me so help me here

chap 4:

-AW MILLY MY GIRLLLL :c

-WAIT WERE THE BUGS IN HER MOUTH??

-yeah exactly gauntlet, just kill the people responsible instead of by proxy, nice nice

-ah shit hes so mad

-AH SHIT

-and there he fucking goes out of the window, go get her my mna

-zazie pls dont say that...dont say that

-i love that the gun ho guns KNOW how to upset vash: by challenging him in a place full of people :D like this man has made his weakness so obvious yet he has survived so far

-"... no :]" i love her sm

-i like that she didnt have to prove herself (that's just sexist) BUT i would have liked my milly vs wolfwood combat

-oh that looks gorgeous actually

and....i remembered where are we going now :)

chap 5:

-you are a bullet you say? you mean it? (mcr reference I'm sorry)

-AH NOT HIS BRAIN DAMN

-MILLY CMONN GIRLLLLLL

-sadly, he kinda is

-i love him and his "coins? dont be silly I'm here for my friend" attitude

-hmmm i wonder why he gets the impression vash is enjoying the fight, is it because of his quick draw?

-yey context for meryl :D

chap 6:

-OH I LOVE THE TITLE PANEL DAMN THATS GOOD

-nooooo :c he looks so young and little

-hold up hes right whats with that face lmao

-yowza

-:c aw here we go

-and heres with the tone changes and DEAR GOD I'm sad now

-...gates you say.....-

-YEY THE REVEAL IS HERE WOOOOOOOOOOO :c

-wolfwood nooooooooooooooooooooo i remember i was so worried about this

chap 7:

-ok i fucking HATE HOW YOU CAN SEE GAUNTLET'S WORDS SHATTER HIS LITTLE HEART >:C

-well that panel fucking hurts

-LET HIM FINISH OMG STOP

-yeah you go babygirl >:3 get revenge

-also i deadass forgot vash wanted to kill him like holy fuck we should talk more about that. he really has more rage on him than any other version *so far*

-:c

-i get why but omg why, just why

-IS IT HER TIME???? IS SHE HERE??????

-WAIT THIS IS HOW THE VOLUME ENDS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DA HELL

#trigun #trimax #trigun maximum #trigunbookclub #im gonna hate the next chapter so much for reasons i wont say

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meili-sheep · 1 year

Note

so i've seen this theory that is allegedly going to be confirmed in 3.4 Basically it says that al haitham cannot feel any emotions bc he is the sole survivor/successful case of the greyscale elezar experiments run by dottore and it basically lobotomised him so he doesnt feel emotions and thats why he wants to live a quiet life as a scribe. I say a lot of kaveh/al haitham shippers talking about this on twitter as some kind of win bc aww al haitham let kaveh enter his super controlled life ect ect. 1. idk if this is an outlandish theory that has no chance of becoming canon bc i dont really have a good gage for that kind of thing so if im falling for the bait im sorry 2. I can kind of understand it for story reasons as it makes for a compelling relationship between al haitham and dottore and by extension the akademyia for allowing dottore back BUT 3. I feel really sad bc it means all that autistic coding was a concious effort to make the character LITERally unfeeling. It means all those traits I recognised in myself and in him are the result of him missing something, being less, ect. and it kinda hurts. Like obvs i never expected hoyo to come out and make him autistic in canon but it just feels like another autistic coded character that is coded that way because they are missing something fundamentally human. Whether thats an android, alien, puppet ect. Idk you are one of the few people on here ive seen talk about al haitham being autistic coded so i wanted to get your thoughts -@under-wcrlds

ahahahahahha

Yeah. (Genshin talk start at paragraph 4)

I've actually mentioned in a previous post that I don't want Al Haitham to be any kind of inhuman character because he's so humanity autistic. Like in particular, he feels a lot like my brand of autism. Because here is the thing. I'm not academically gifted. But I'm incredible with patterns. I'm very good at seeing the patterns of life and being able to predict on only people's responses but emotional responses without knowing them. And I have the same goals as Al Haitham. I want to live a simple and comfy life. Do no more work than needed, and then do what interests me. I have also turned down big leadership positions because that's not what I want to do.

And guess what. I'm a real fucking person. Yeah, I've been through some shit. But that didn't make me this way, and everyone goes through it at one point or another.

But I've always been like this. Fuck, my mom had me (at a young age) start packing the car on trips because I could just see where everything was supposed to be. I was never one who could express my emotions well. I still struggle with that, and I feel a lot of the time, I come across as a know-it-all? And attention-hogging because I just talk in a sort of weird antidotal way.

This also makes me a good storyteller because I can give a more natural flow of events. So let me country why I don't think this theory is gonna be correct.

in the 3.2 stories. Al Haitham did say he understands and knows the importance of emotions and makes it clear that he's not really the type who is good a motivating people through emotion. Never did he make any reference to not being able to feel them. Fuck I'd argue he'd have to have them to understand what the mad Scholars were feeling to imitate them as well as he did.

Also, there isn't really a reason to re-pick up the elezar plotline, as it has been pretty solidly dealt with. Like it's gone, there's no reason to look more into it. We know what causes it and what cured it. Like if they are to bring Dottore up again, it will be for another story and another experiment. Also, Dottore isn't the type to pick up something again once his interest in it is gone. Heck, look at Scaramouch. Plus, Dottore had Collie. Like that's confirmed. And seemingly, Dottore knew how to keep elezar at bay. So there wouldn't be much reason for him to expand experimentation. Let long a reason to make someone stop feeling emotions.

The TDLR is that there really wouldn't be many benefits for Dottore if this was the case, and that feels outta character. Also, we don't know Al Haitham's timeline, just that he graduated, which apparently is really hard to do and takes a lot of time.

And a point that's just hit me.

LISA WANTS TO LIVE A SIMPLE LIFE. And She's objectively waaaaaay smarter than Al Haitham is. So again, it's not a good reason?

Idk man. I'm a little heated under the collar because I HATE when people try and make an autistic-coded character nonhuman. Because I'm a human.

#You guys know how larry in pokemon? Is just a dude?#why can't we have that with autistic characters?#al haitham #? yeah that guys just a dude #a normal dude #who's brain just happens to work a little different #al haitham headcanons #al haitham genshin #i know it's a bit weird but I really do just start feeling #when other people are in a mood

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we-are-inevitable · 1 year

Note

heyo title time!!

“always tracking what happens when I lose my mind” have fun bestieeee 💥

ok i want to preface that this is not fleshed out! i don’t know how things happen! i don’t know why things happen! i don’t know and i want to keep it that way @jack-kellys

TW DEATH, VIOLENCE

but ok here we go. a fucked up dystopian thing but jack is a pawn in the game.

i’m picturing,, futuristic, the world has ended and people are starting over and trying to find normalcy but the wrong people force themselves into power. there’s a call for order and a new way of life.

theres the Bad Elites bc the world kind of ended and the wrong people were able to gain power during this big rebuilding thing and the newsies are basically a rebel group, jack as the leader, jack gets trapped and pulitzer is evil and bad things happen and then jack is basically a puppet to be controlled ! i think it’s fun

some more things:

jack is the leader. charlie is the medic. race is the getaway driver for missions. al is the weapons guy. al and race are dating; jack, race, and charlie are brothers; al looks up to jack.

the other newsies are There, i just dont care about them

davey is. whooooooo ok davey is a big thing to me. give me a minute

anyway jack is captured! hes kept for a few days. drugged, tortured, what have you. he’s implanted with a chip that fucks with his brain- when it’s activated, he hears nothing but a sharp ringing, its an out of body experience, and he can See what’s happening but he can’t actually control himself or stop it.

the first time it happens is a few days after he escapes (which is too easy- he realizes after that pulitzer *lets* him escape).

hes sitting at dinner. he’s hurting and he’s hearing ringing and albert comes to jack’s side to help him.

he slashes albert’s throat on impulse, and albert dies at his feet.

cue everything going to shit. race trying to kill jack, charlie has to step in, jack begs for someone to kill him, race tries again, eventually they lock jack in a room with windows in the compound and jack refuses to let *anyone* in.

side note bc @roideny said this and i freaked out: race sitting and watching jack lose his mind bc he knows that jack didnt kill albert- everyone knows jack is being controlled, they just dont know how or why- and race just ,, silently crying every time the chip is activated bc jack is screaming, and writhing in pain, and its what makes him remember that *jack* didn’t kill albert.

anyway moving on!

obviously davey is in this.

davey is one of pulitzers guys but hes being controlled by the same chip thing, but its Constant and Controlled instead of sporadic like jack’s. the gang capturing davey during an ambush or smth and charlie immediately knocking him the fuck out to do any sort of Finding And Removing The Chip just to prove to jack that it’s safe and he can do it

so davey is just a guy

like. an upper level guy i feel like, hes pretty important to pulitzers cause as a soldier type thing, but hes not important enough for people to go looking once he comes up missing. davey is just a frontman in an army serving people who dontgive a shit if hes dead or alive.

but tbh i think this is also ,, rlly good mind control territory bc davey hasn’t been Davey in so long. davey hasn’t even been David. davey has been Soldier, or #0347, or whatever the fuck people are calling him, but he has no name, no personality- he’s a terrified fifteen year old trapped in his own body for six years until hes suddenly a *monster* at 21 who has killed more people than he can ever count

they get the chip out of davey, so they know they can get the chip out of jack, and its just. yeah. its yeah and its so good

davey trying to live life as Himself for the first time in six years, jack trying to overtake pulitzer, things happen and plot happens yadda yadda they win and its good

pls send asks about this i love it a lot

#jack kelly #davey jacobs #david jacobs #racetrack higgins #albert dasilva #crutchie #crutchie morris #ask a jac !#newsies #livesies #newsies musical #newsies live

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matthewkniesys · 2 years

Text

meet cute- bo bichette

Summary: You have been sworn against baseball for years. Even still, some hot shot player named Bo Bichette catches your eye. When your best friend finally convinces you to go to a jays game something you never thought possible, something straight out of a romance novel becomes your life.

Pairing: Bo Bichette x gn!reader

Warnings: maybe a few swears

a/n: okay so this is for @bodacious-bichette and @livsglittertasticworld! Will anyone actually read this... i dont know but i wrote it so... I hope you like it and feedback is always welcome!

Baseball was your biggest joy, biggest passion, favorite hobby growing up and to be honest your life, but now your 24 years old and you haven't watched a baseball game since you were probably 15. All baseball is to you now, is a hard reminder that you weren't good enough.

You played baseball your whole childhood and you were good. Really, really good, but when you got to high school you were cut from the high school team. It cut really deep and since then you just hadn't been able to find any happiness in baseball. You couldn't watch it anymore and you couldn't play it anymore, not even for fun.

Since then you had grown up, gotten a job and we're successful and living on your own. There would always be the hurt though from being cut. You didn't think about it all that often anymore but all of those memories resurfaced when your best friend, Luke, called you wanting to go to a baseball game. The jays game to be exact. Growing up the jays had been everything to you. Everyone who knew you would joke that your mood depended on the jays.

So when Luke who had known you forever wanted to go to the game with you, you were hurt. He knew how much you couldn't watch baseball anymore.

"Y/n, please come to the game. It won't be that bad. It's just one game. I even got those seat right beside the dugout. You know the ones where you can look through the netting right into the dugout." Luke pleads.

"Couldn't you go with someone else?" You ask, wondering why suddenly he wants you to go with him so badly.

"I just miss the old days when we used to have season tickets and go with our dads. All I'm asking is one game y/n."

"I won't even know any of the players." That's a lie. You would very occasionally check in on how the jays were doing because as much as you hated it the Toronto blue jays will forever be a part of you and maybe there was one blue jay member you were especially fond of but you would never, ever admit that.

"Don't even try lying to me like that. I know you were hurt when people told you, you weren't good enough but I think for you baseball will always be apart of you. The blue jays still mean enough to you that I believe you still check the scores."

You sigh knowing he's right. "Fine, okay I'll go to this game with you but just this month. And only because your birthday is next week and I don't have a present so consider this one."

"Sure y/n, pick you up Saturday night, yeah?"

"I'll be waiting."

You weren't sure if Saturday could or couldn't come quick enough. You couldn't deny that the prospect of watching a jays game again was exciting but it didn't make you any less nervous for it. All week you had been checking the scores and the jays were on a 5 game win streak heading into Saturday's game.

4 o'clock on Saturday rolled around and Luke was waiting for you outside in his car. You walk up to it wearing the Bichette jersey you had bought yesterday. You convinced yourself it was cause you didn't want to look stupid not wearing any apparel but in truth Bo had caught your eye since the day he came up to the bigs. You almost caved and watched his debut but you forced yourself not too.

At first, after not making the team, you didn't want to watch baseball cause it hurt to much but after that it was more that you wanted to hold a grudge, not that you hated baseball. It was so much easier to pretend you hated it and we're mad than to be sad about the fact you weren't good enough.

"So I see you've got a jersey. I even see its Bichette. Have you been lying to me about hating baseball?" Says Luke, as soon as you get in the car.

" Dumbass, I bought this yesterday."

"Mhm, sure you did."

"Shut up that's the truth."

"What ever you say, y/n."

The rest of the drive is silent and when you get to the rogers centre you can't stop the rush of adrenaline you get just from being there at the park with all the fans. Being back here was almost euphoric. You didn't think you'd ever be back and you would never admit it especially not to Luke but you were so happy he convinced you to come.

"Dude how did you get these seats?" You ask luke, once you're seated. He wasn't kidding he really got the seats right beside the dugout. You were sitting in the seat right beside the netting.

The players are about to go out for warm ups and that's when you catch your first real, in-person glimpse of Mr.Bo Bichette. You suck in a deep breath trying to catch your breath.

"Oh do you like bobo?" Luke laughs.

"No, shut up." You respond.

"I don't believe you." You sigh knowing you won't win this argument.

"Fine, he's hot. There is admit it. Now will, you stop."

"Sure y/n. Whatever you want." And so the game starts. You get very invested. You missed this. You missed the atmosphere of the sky dome but mostly you just missed baseball and your jays.

The game was going good and half way through the 5th you feel a pair of eyes on you. You turn to your side prepared to tell the fan sitting next to you you stop staring when you remember you aren't sitting next to anyone.

You turn around and are looking straight into Bo Bichette's beautiful eyes. When your eyes meet he doesn't look away. He just holds the contact. In the end your the one to break it. It just begins to be too much. You feel your cheeks heat up and you have to look away.

You turn back to the game hoping Luke didn't notice that moment between you and Bo. Judging by the huge grin on his face though, he definitely did.

"Not regretting coming to the game now huh?" Luke teases.

"We looked at each other for a second. It was nothing."

"A second? Bullshit y/n! That was at least 10 seconds." He exclaims.

"Well whatever, it's not like anything stupid gonna come from it."

"You never know." He says, and you just roll your eyes.

The rest of the game goes well. The jays win 6-4. At the end of the game when all of the players are walking off the field you see vladdy nudge Bo and point towards what looks like your direction. Bo shrugs his shoulders back.

You are getting up from your seat and about to follow Luke up the stairs when you hear someone call out to the person in the Bichette. It's a familiar voice. You turn around and you see Bo motioning you over. You stand there suddenly frozen to the spot. It isn't until Luke almost pushes you down the stairs that you regain your ability to walk.

"Hi I'm Bo" Bo says.

"Yeah I uh kinda know that already."

Bo chuckles than answers "so I was wondering if I could get your name?"

"Umm yeah, it's y/n."

"That's a pretty name." You smile at Bo shyly.

"Thank you."

"I was wondering if maybe I could grab your number."

"Oh um what? You want my number? Why?"

"I don't know. You seemed super into baseball and your super beautiful so I thought maybe I could uh call you and we could do something together. You know get to know ow each other. A date maybe?"

"Oh um yes of course." You grab a piece of paper and a pen from your bag and quickly scribble down your number. You are fully aware you are probably smiling like an idiot but you could care less. Bo Bichette just asked you on a date (sorta).

You hand it to him and in turn he hands you his cap. You look at his confused.

"Just keep. I'll be back to get it eventually." He smirks, you realise this is his way of saying I will for sure see you again.

For the last 9 years baseball has been a reminder of something you weren't good enough for. Now it's brought you someone special.

Today you began to make peace with baseball.

I hope you liked it and thanks for reading <33 let me know if you'd be interested in part 2 and as always feedback is very welcome!

#bo bichette #bo bichette x reader #bo bichette imagine #mlb imagine #mlb fanfic #toronto blue jays #vladimir guerrero jr.#claire tries writing <3 #did the ending make sense idk #i hope so

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strykingback · 10 months

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That's a long winded way of saying, "I don't like this show yet I stick around in this toxic relationship I have with it to win or something."

Seriously, everything you said isn't worth it. It sounds like you want to make your own fantasy story not unlike RWBY yet can't get over the latter like a bitter ex-partner.

Are you okay? Legit asking as a concerned citizen.

First things first, I am okay I mean how about you. I'm certain everyone who has been roastin' yo ass since yesterday. Cause daaaaaamn man. I can smell a whole barbecue over there!

But anyway.... to start things off.

Something really tells me you didn't read through the whole fucking reblog and only sent this in. Do I need to repeat it so you can firmly grasp it? Cause certainly you need to grasp it!!

Also since you didnt read through the literal paragraphs about my canon divergence Atlas and Mistral regions and even about Robyn Hill and Ironwoods canon divergence. Oh wait a minute, I think you may not know the definition of canon-divergence. Hold up let me get it for you, okay? Canon Divergence: a fandom term, used when fanfiction is set in a universe that diverges from the original canon due to changing a character's backstory or the plot overall.

(Note- This can also apply to Roleplaying blogs as myself)

Yeah, its that easy to make a story for Ironwood and Robyn Hill and still make it good for both of them for everyone to enjoy. Not like a pasty ol' Karen and a plot-twist villain in the main canon.

But enough of that but just the fact that you say it isnt worth it towards a VERY strong answer. Kind of tells me that its like: "Oh its not good to match canon." I dont know what kind of world you live in amigo, but it aint one I wanna be on. Also another thing to say is.

People on the RWDE tag can still like certain aspects of RWBY and can still be critical about it at the SAME time. It doesnt hurt to do that and trust me it does not hurt me as I can seriously take the wild bullshit the main canon does and can cook it back out as something incredibly Canon-Divergent and people will like it.

Also what is this weakness man, this weak ask you sent me amigo. Cause I was expecting so so MUCH BETTER. It's no wonder why yo ass is getting cooked in the RWDE tag. man...Like who let you cook?!

Cause I think I turned yo ass into a five star at a five star restaurant with a side of steak that is....

W e l l

T h e

F u ck

D O N E

Now enough of that, now then back to roleplaying for me and also go back to Lilith and cry her a goddamn river why dont ya. Ya fuckin simp!

#RWDE #anti-roosterteeth #fuck rooster teeth

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sallage · 4 months

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Hiii I just got done reading about you and your SO. It's so awesome that you were able to tell them! Do you mind writing about one of the tickle fights you've had? In story format if you dont mind? You can totally ignore this btwww. Thanks(:

This is an awesome ask! I would love to!

This story really happened and takes place a few months after I told him. For this and for future reference, I’ll call him Jackson. Side note, I was excited to write this, so I just finished and it's 5:30am right now. There's probably going to be mistakes but I really wanted to get it out. Hope it's enjoyed!

------

Apologize

Pairing: Lee Me, Ler Jackson

Words: 1,714

Reading Time: 7 Minutes Read more tickle asks/stuff ∘₊✧ Here ✧₊∘

“Fuck! Jackson, I knocked one and Marshmallow is one hit!”

“Where is he?”

“He’s inside the- Fuck man! He fucking finished me! Just leave. It’s a whole squad now; people are third partying.”

“I have a shot.”

“No, Don’t! They- Oh my fucking God! Now they know where you are!”

“Fuck! It’s a whole squad!”

“I just said that!”

“Chill out, it’s fine. I can-”

“Don’t just stand there! You gotta- BRUH!”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, thats what happens when you shoot at people and just stand there like a bot- you get sniped.”

“I had 200 health.”

“200 health doesn’t matter if they snipe you for a head shot!”

“You died first.”

“Trying to save you waddoyou mean?!”

“Should’ve been better.”

“Jackson, I knocked one and got Marshmallow down to one hit. You died bent over with your ass in the air, begging for it.”

“Thats crazy.”

“I don’t give a shit, I told you to leave.”

“I can hear you from the living room, stop yelling.”

“What, you don’t want everyone to know you’re a bot?”

“Yo, chill on me.”

“Whatever, man. My back hurts.”

“What? Why?”

“From carrying you!”

“…You’re pissing me off.”

“I played four games with you and you fucked up every one. Get good, kid.”

“Say one more thing.”

“You’re dog waterrrrrr.”

The moment the mic muffled, I knew he was coming into the room to argue with me face to face. I rolled my eyes in frustration, knowing that we had just lost another game of Fortnite because of him. He had caused us to lose every single game we played, whether it was because he had wandered off on his own and gotten jumped, or missed all of his shots. He always got downed and left me to face duos on my own. I was fed up.

The door opened and he walked inside, closing it behind him.

Jackson’s a big dude. Dedicated to the gym and healthy eating habits, his lifestyle awarded him with a beautifully sculpted physique, one that I often admired, being the exact opposite of him. I’ve hardly set foot in the gym and I love my burgers with a side of fries. I’ve been blessed with a fast metabolism, otherwise I know I would have weighed well over 300 pounds due to my horrible eating habits. Instead, I’m slimmer and a little top heavy, one of the things I know Jackson loves about me.

He didn’t look in love with me right now though. He crossed his big arms over his chest and glared down at me, visibly peeved off due to my comments. Being as stubborn as I am, I doubled down.

“What?” I asked, irritably.

“It’s not that serious.”

“You suck at the game.”

“You died first.”

“I was-”

“You died first.”

“Do you really think I’m the one that’s been lacking? Really?”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Use your critical thinking skills and get back to me on that.”

His eyes narrowed at me. “You got one more.”

I frowned. “One more till… what?” I asked, my dismissive voice dripping with sarcasm.

He shrugged again, leaving it vague.

I rolled my eyes and waved him off. “I’m texting the group chat. I would like to win at least one tonight.”

He rolled his eyes and waited for the message. When I put my phone down, he frowned. “Did you send it?”

“Mmhhm.”

“I didn’t get anything.”

“You wouldn’t. We have a separate group chat for people who know how to play the game.”

There was a moment of silence and during, I closed my eyes, starting to feel bad. I often talk a lot of shit when I play video games and I have to remind myself that it’s truly not that serious and that maybe, I shouldn’t be talking to my boyfriend like that. I huffed and turned back to him to apologize, but I was met with eyes that were filled with mischievous energy.

“What-”

Before I could finish my question, I was being lifted out of my chair and held to his chest as he princess carried me towards the bed. Once arrived, He flipped me onto it, then the air was pushed out of my lungs when he threw himself on top of me.

“Jackson!” I yelled, pushing on his shoulders. “Fuck! You’re heavy as hell! Get off! What the hell are you- GAAAH! AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FAHAHAK NONONOSTAAAAAAHAHAHAP!”

Jackson Immediately took to squeezing the top of my ribs, rotating his thumbs in the most agonizing circles I’ve ever felt. At this point, he knew exactly how to tickle me if he wanted to turn me on, and tragically, he also knew how to tickle me if he wanted to punish me. He was going for punishment today, and I immediately regretted being mean to him.

Due to the way I was positioned, my hands arms were up over his shoulders as he lay on top of me and due to his mass, I couldn’t reach around and dislodge his hands from my body. So instead, I pathetically writhed underneath him, unable to even kick my legs as he tangled his with mine.

“I warned you.” He commented simply.

Having been completely caught off guard and pissed off just a few moments ago, I was unable to hold back my reactions like I usually tried to do. I thrashed around as much as I could, which really wasn’t much.

“FUCK! JAHAHAHACKSOHON WAHAHAIT! GHHEEEAAHAHAA! STAHAHAP! NOOOOOOHOHOHOHO!”

His thumbs crept inward, towards a spot on my ribs below my breasts, a spot that he recently discovered, if played with the right way, absolutely wrecked me. Sensing him gearing up to attack it, I panicked.

I started pinching his back, hard. His chest rumbled as he chucked at my pathetic attempt to fight back. My laughter grew more desperate as he approached, just to fake me out and shoot his hands down to the crease below my hips where it bends into the tops of my thighs. He pressed his thumbs inward to rub at the tendons that make up my inner thighs on both sides, knowing how devastating that spot was for me.

I pounded my fists on his back, trying my best to to close my legs and buck him off, failing miserably. It’s only been a minute, but it felt like I was fighting for my life for hours.

“Apologize.” He demanded.

“I’M SOHOHOHOHRY!” I quickly concede, but he chuckles.

“Too easy. Tell me I’m better then you in Fortnite.”

“WHAHAHT THE FAHAHAHAK? NOHOHOHOHO!” I yell in frustration, having less than a second to be irritated all over again before his devious fingers find another sweet spot along the waistline of my shorts. I threw my head back and continued fighting, even though I knew it wouldn’t get me anywhere. He started pinching my sides, and my laughter died down for a few seconds before he remembered that light tickles do the job. Then, I was thrown into hysterical giggles as his blunt nails sneak underneath my shirt to scribble lightly at my twitching sides.

“Ohohoh my Gahahahd Jackson!” I giggled, arching my back and shifting from side to side as he teased me, intentionally going easy to give me the chance to breathe.

“You were being annoying and rude. You get too into that game.”

“Yeah, okahay! Juhhust stahp. You’re- AH! Dohohone!”

“I’m still sensing attitude, and you haven’t admitted I’m better than you yet.”

“Because you’re noHOHOT! JACKSON, NOOO!”

His fingers suddenly made their way up to my ribs again, where a firm yet lighter touch was required. He rotated his thumbs again into the bottom of my ribs, working his way up, knowing how much the anticipation killed me. My giggles, grew more frantic as he teased, his pinches growing firmer with each rib he climbed.

“JaCKsON!” I heaved when he rapidly pinched up and down in rapid succession. “JEHehehesus CHRIst!”

“Admit it.”

“It’s a liIHIHIHIE!! NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

He finally got to work, but instead of hitting that sweet spot on my ribs, he shoved his fingers into my armpits. My back arched and I slammed my elbows as far down as they could go, which didn’t matter since he was already in there. He pushed himself up slightly, an adjustment that forced my arms up and away from my body. Then, he used four fingers to rotate and undulate them right in the center of my underarms.

I kicked my legs out and scrunched my eyes closed, rapidly approaching my limit. I could usually handle being tickled for a long time, never really having met my true limit, but he was heavy and I was finding it hard to keep the same breath in my lungs for longer then a second. So when his fingers finally dipped into that spot on my ribs, I cracked within 5 seconds.

“YEAAHAHAHAAHAHA! SHIIIIIHIHIHIT! OHOHOHKAY! OKAYOKAY YOU’RE BEHEHETER! YOU’RE BETTAAHAHAHA!”

“I’m what?”

“JAHAHAHCKSON! I CAHAHAN’T BREATHE!”

“Then you better say it.”

I fruitlessly thrash for a second before giving up completely. In one long breath, I muster enough strength to get it out.

“YOU’REBETTERTHENMEATFORTNIHIHIHITE! PLEHEHEHEEEEHEHEHSE! I’M SAHAHAHAHRRY!”

Within that instant he was off of me. I continued to lay there, eyes closed and breathing hard in exhaustion. He laid next to me and placed his hand on my stomach, lovingly rubbing it in non ticklish circles. The touch caused me to flinch and he snickered, wrapping his arms around me and dragging me in for cuddles.

“Thah- That was fucked up.” I chided, but slowly cuddled up to him anyway.

“You liked it.” He said, chuckling when I lightly tapped his chest with the back of my hand.

“Shut up.” I mumbled, having never been so flustered in my life.

Knowing that I should issue a sober aplogy, I swallowed. “I really am sorry though. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I'll be better.”

Jackson kissed my forehead and lightly massaged my back, exactly how I liked it. I let out a content sigh.

His arm wrapped around me, and I felt a sense of calm and security as I lay my head against his shoulder, feeling his heartbeat against my neck. I closed my eyes, my exhaustion allowing me to drift off into a deep and restful sleep.

#tickle blog #tickle community #t word community #tickle questions #tword community #tickle content #sallage-asks

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demoisverysexy · 2 years

Text

I want to say something witty or clever or intelligent about the news today. And honestly I dont have anything.

Just. This is going to hurt so many people. Its going to hurt the rights of people with uteruses, those who can give birth. That much is obvious. The amount of death, suffering and poverty this will cause specifically for poor cis women, trans men, and enby folks cannot be understated. But even beyond that, Ii will also hurt families trying to control how and when they have children, and it even hurts the right and ability of anyone to have sex as they please. And given that the supreme court is looking to limit contraceptives and reintroduce anti sodomy laws, it seems that they just want nobody to have sex ever. This isnt merely an attack on the the bodies of people with uteruses (though it is primarily that). It is an attack on the bodily autonomy of every american, and it is opening the door to new forms of abuse.

More though, it is increasingly clear to me that the GOP wants people to suffer. It wishes to enact laws to create suffering for those it hates, and to control them. Perhaps even destroy them where they can. The recent slew of Supreme Court decisions proves that. We are headed into a dark chapter of american history, one that will forever live in infamy, and it will end, I believe, with Americans having the same sense of national shame and humiliation that Germany did after WWII. Assuming that there is an America left once the tides of fascism sweep across the country.

I am perhaps a bit too gloomy right now. Things are as bad as I am saying, and I dont think I am exaggerating. But I dont think all is lost. Progressive ideas are still far more popular than conservative ones. We have a majority when it comes to social issues,and people are slowly becoming more sympathetic to progressive economics as well. While we have lost a lot of power and momentum, we can win it back. History is never set in stone. We can change things. The fact that conservatives were able to overturn Roe v. Wade is proof of that. We can fix things. We can make things better than they were before.

At the end of it though, dont get lost in the bad news. Turn to the loved ones around you. Go outside. Take a deep breath, and know that the world is still turning, even if we have lost a lot today. The world hasnt ended. And youre still here. There are still things you can do to improve things.

Stay strong. I love you. Take care of yourself. And hit me up if you need anything.

Stay safe, friends.

#leftism #abortion #roe vs. wade #feminism #lgbtq rights #lgbt #lgbtq

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