St. Peter: *can't find St. John in a crowded room*
St. Peter, cupping hands over his mouth and hollering: "So Peter set out with the other disciple to go to the tomb. They ran together--"
St. John, bursting from the crowd panting: "--But the other disciple, running faster than Peter, reached the tomb first!"
St. Peter: "There he is."
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Jesus: By the way Peter. Right before the rooster crows, you’re going to deny having known me 3 times.
Peter: What?! No, Jesus, I would NEVER do that!
Jesus: Mhmmmm.. *sips from a wine glass with the words ‘bullshit’ written at the bottom*
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Tomorrow we mourn the death of the ultimate blorbo: Jesus Christ
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Jesus: *crying blood in the garden of gethsemane*
God:
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Me, single at 27 years old, seeing other people my age get married in the Church 🇻🇦✝️:
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POV you're hurrying out of the church with your screaming child:
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