#cast long shadows | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

faithfromanewperspective · 5 months

Note

Bipolar James??

Hi anon! I see you've found my post on something, likely related to the midnight heir and want to ask more. I still don't know how to link posts on this site, and my original was very much processing on the go and I doubt its comprehensibleness, so here goes. I'll try to summarise it.

First off this is a headcanon, a hypothesis if you will that attempts to make sense of the evidence we see in the different canon appearances of James Herondale: Nothing but Shadows; Cast Long Shadows; The Midnight Heir; and The Last Hours trilogy. Three short stories from different collections and three very long books. We get James' POV only in TLH and NBS (but more on this later). It is also a piece of a puzzle and really only partly explains what is going on for this boy: no real person can be minimised to a psychiatric diagnosis, and same goes with a well-constructed fictional character. I'll touch on some of the other context I find as important, and so this post might derail at times but I'll bring it back to the question you have asked. So without further ado:

There have been a lot of criticisms of the way Cassandra wrote James and I do want to say, these are valid. And it's okay to be disappointed. Personally I don't think he's necessarily inconsistent; instead I see the inconsistencies of expression as different forms of self-expression of a mentally ill teenager who's trying to make sense of his own existence in a world that can be cruel but needs love and kindness, but often only accepts these in neuronormative ways which cannot ever capture his own idealism and need for a specific kind of connection. Who was born into the lonely role of being the first ever of his kind; and on top of one-quarter of his genetics coming from a demon, his other three grandparents carry the genetics for a range of neurodivergences, further isolating his experience. He's such an interesting intersection of having grown up with love and having grown up carrying more than a child ever should, with no one there to really witness and empathise, not properly in the way he needs. So I'm going to go through chronologically to how I've reached this hypothesis, feel free to skim to headings if you like!

From the beginning: feeling isolated, neurodivergence and trauma Here I briefly touch on James' first canon appearance: the Whitechapel Fiend. He's only a toddler, a good kid, whose comfort item is a spoon, okay, and he likes to repeat what it is which is baby behaviour but also like this is our baby autistic boy (first piece of context). Here he spends time with his cousins as their parents fight demons. Yet, later he doesn't feel close with said cousins as we see in Nothing But Shadows, set approximately 11 years later.

Fast forward to the summer he turns 13, in Days Past in Chain of Gold and also Nothing But Shadows. His grandparents have died, he's a muddle of feelings and feels excluded from his parents' grief. He's going to Hatchards with his father, feeling socially awkward and self-conscious about it, about his existence, everything. My important piece of information to take away here is that from the outside you wouldn't know he's feeling like this. He's shy, well he's 13. He likes to read, what a good kid, what a cute hobby. Thomas calls him 'aloof and above it all' while he's actually half dissociated from the overwhelm and is constantly escaping into books to cope, to the point where he isn't sleeping well and he's missing classes. He's actually close with his parents, he doesn't have any other social networks (even though he is friends with Cordelia and Thomas, but he doesn't see them regularly and doesn't seem to know how to maintain long-distance friendships like Lucie does) and yet he still feels as if he shouldn't intrude on them and their feelings. This persists when he decides to stay at the Academy instead of worrying his mother or have Tessa feel as if her heritage was hurting him. He has this insecurity about worrying people that carries through all the canon stories we see him in, and even influences his narration.

And yet he's quite emotionally mature for 13. We see it in his conversation with Matthew when they first open up to each other. He stands up for himself when Matthew laughs. We see him processing in real time what it must be like to grow up having to care for your parents. We also see it in his ideals and his justification for why he's a shadowhunter. He's very empathetic, he cares a lot about injustice, he sees things from the perspectives of downworlders and mundanes and isn't afraid to say it, even when it further exacerbates the social awkwardness he's so self-conscious about. And I know, so far all I've done is made a case for him being autistic.

But he's also selfless to the point where it isn't sustainable, filled with hurt and rage as well as a growing consensus that he doesn't deserve to be taken care of and how could he ever be loved enough to be someone's parabatai? In one scene we see him direct this rage at Alastair. But most of the time it's directed at himself, and you wouldn't even know that it's there. You'd just see the boy who's always reading, who's a little shy and self-conscious (but as we see in Cast Long Shadows is starting to come out of his shell and build a little confidence when he's with his friends). A typical 14yo introvert. And he's so good, he's protective and loyal and justice-driven, he even threw Augustus Pounceby in the river when he insulted Tessa.

But what if that was just another expression of the rage and unprocessed hurt that becomes depression? It's not like with Matthew, who is expressive and friendly and wears his emotions close to the surface. It's the way it compounds with his shadow realm related ongoing trauma and autism-related sensitive nervous system to send it haywire, constantly watchful, nightmares instead of sleeping. And yes he works through the most obvious ptsd-ish symptoms here with Jem, but prolonged hypervigilance alone is a trigger for depression and I'm pretty certain that's what we're seeing in the lingering insomnia and self-deprecating thoughts he's used to dismissing (except in that odd window of time that is TMH when his self-control and inhibitions are down) and reliance on his friends to feel just about anything positive. We see it when he says the time with Cordelia 'was the happiest [weeks] of [his] life' in Chain of Thorns--like, mate, you barely left the house and you dreamed of people dying the entire time, was this really better than your entire life? He's a worrier and an overthinker and some of that is down to his neurodivergence and isn't in itself problematic, but sometimes things aren't that easy to unravel: he's always been like this, living with big feelings he tries to hide the intensity of and a bias towards the negative that he's simply learned to build a sense of optimism around. And so to him all of this is normal; he's largely accepted it, and he lives with it: not in a state of desperation but a numb sort of acceptance that is the product of years of work. Of course, even this coping strategy comes apart sometimes.

The Bracelet: Exacerbating and Twisting Existing Cognitive Processes and Midnight Heir Mania This next part of the headcanon mostly depends on my interpretation of what exactly the spell of the bracelet does. Mostly. Not completely. But after much investigation I've come to the conclusion that the bracelet is mostly an attention diverter. It functions a bit like ADHD forgetfulness, interestingly enough, but what is pretty much canon is it doesn't actually manufacture affection for Grace, only redirects the existing feeling of isolation and longing that it exacerbates by directing James' attention away from being able to focus on and maintain the memory of the feeling of belonging from when he's with his friends, family, whatever--but then again, he's kind of always been like that. It attempts to connect in his head pathways between the concepts of Grace, kissing, and love, and you can tell how much it gets both muddled with and overshadowed by the real thing when they kiss in Chain of Iron and James just subconsciously goes straight to imagining Cordelia. I think this is because it is demonic in origin and demons can't manufacture real love, or even feel it. My point is, I guess, that the bracelet isn't massively powerful (hence being able to pass undetected while conducting minimal attention diversion on others) but it is constantly, persistently, manipulating whatever neurological processes exist for James and directing them towards its own goal (this feeds into my theory of warlock genetics and DNA mimicry but here isn't the post to talk about it).

Thus, in some ways it functions like a less-than-ideal medication: it does prevent the overthinking from running free unless it's about Grace (which is probably helpful at times, and we see it in bits in Chain of Thorns when he's spiraling a lot more) but also dampens James' problem-solving abilities and overall intelligence, including his emotional intelligence about his friends which is probably the most heartbreaking part. It exacerbates any existing rarely-focused-on proprioception and alexithymia (another headcanon, not as strong but it fits) but makes him hyper-aware of a sense of pain and emptiness whenever he's not with Grace, building the association that it's from being without her. Mostly, it serves to contrast his connection (and their friendship is real, to start with) with Grace with the rest of the world by hindering his ability to feel connection and causing more isolation: which is unfortunately the thing James has been trying to get out of his entire life. We see Grace narrate that she saw the light go out in his eyes when she put it on him. This means that he gets to feel love and connection for a few short months only, and even that was against a backdrop of some pretty intense trauma (and through this contrast, the story paints the picture that connection and love=good and will defeat evil, isolation and secrets are bad and leave you vulnerable).

From there it's not a big jump to say that in The Midnight Heir, when Grace has broken up with him in a letter and there's no way to talk things over just that immediate and unexpected betrayal, the bracelet will have him hyperfixating on the hurt and the loss of Grace: the loss of his only hope and real joy and connection in life. His inhibitions and self-control that still, even with the bracelet on, have him behaving in socially acceptable ways in hopes of fitting in and laying the groundwork to love and connect with the rest of the world in a way that something in James has always longed for (yet simultaneously found all but impossible) and we see this when he goes to comfort Eunice Pounceby in his parents' stead--are down in this moment in time. And I refuse to believe that it's purely because of the alcohol. In fact, I think it's something that comes prior to his alcohol consumption at that time; the alcohol no doubt exacerbates it but if he were truly drunk he would not have such good aim with the gun (Ragnor wouldn't have been encouraging to shoot things if he was likely to accidentally kill someone imo) and he wouldn't be able to ride a bicycle with no hands or climb Nelson's Column or whatever it's called. Actually, based on what Will and Tessa say to Magnus about how he's usually so good but has basically been off the rails recently, I would say this is quite a clear indicator of a (hypo)manic episode.

A big misconception about bipolar is that manic episodes have to be euphoric (like extra happy and excited etc). This is quite clearly a dysphoric manic episode: it's as if the hurt and the hopelessness and every feeling he's been hiding have come to a head and been unable to be contained by the person he presents as to the world anymore. He's filled with self-deprecating rage, he's been under the bracelet's spell for long enough that he's shrinking from the possibility of being cared for even more than he already would, he's hanging out with Matthew who's in a similar headspace and is already a heavy drinker and Christopher who's already unhinged most of the time; Thomas is in Madrid and so there's no one to really ground him. On top of that it's mid to late winter and James pretty much canonically gets seasonal depression anyway, and depression and (hypo)mania can actually be triggers for each other and so it's quite possible that all of this built up to a point until he was unable to care about what people thought or how he treated them anymore and started doing things he wouldn't usually; with that came a burst of energy from his suppressed rage and all of this mounted into a dysphoric (hypo)manic episode. The letter from Grace was the cherry on top but also what catalysed him to burn off the rest of his energy in one night and almost die multiple times; we can assume his parents and Jem intervene somehow and somehow by the time we see him next in Chain of Gold he's back to his usual muted slightly frustrated (bracelet) self. That's my theory at least.

And I would say that the bracelet did have a big role to play in this but it didn't completely cause it. It only lined up more dominoes than would be there without it, possibly making it more extreme than it otherwise would be or show up at a time when it otherwise wouldn't. I also think TMH therefore is consistent with canon, and I see clues in TLH that build on this point: the same insecurities about worrying the people around him and the fact that he'd rather suffer alone; and a similarly unstoppable energy in Chain of Iron when he's tying himself to a bed the minute he's alone at home trying to figure out if he's the murderer just because he's dreaming through the murderer's eyes (and imo that's not a rational possibility at all, considering things like winter and nightclothes and wrong weapons and Effie would definitely notice him leaving and coming back covered in blood) and yet he won't just go to the Institute and tell his parents what's going on and have them watch him instead of ropes he can definitely untie. Like then it's far from a true hypomanic episode but he's hurting, he's desperate, he's quietly dramatic and feeling isolated and he's narrating the whole story like nothing is wrong and Cassandra wants us all to be worried about Matthew and somehow only Lucie and sometimes Thomas notice that James isn't okay either.

James' masking and narration style Finally, I've talked about this before but James (and also Tessa, which I think is where he gets it from) have a tendency to narrate what's going on around them in a way that kind of dissociates from how they're feeling. For James, it's almost as if the way he doesn't want to worry anyone around him has permeated into his internal narrative and combined with the skills he's learned to keep his head up while he's actually suffering quite a lot. I'd say this is much more prevalent at 17 than at 13 but it is still always there. If he shows the Mask (which Cordelia hates and he mostly uses when he's under the bracelet's influence, but we do see it a couple of times without) to the people around him, this is how he maintains a sense of optimism and autonomy to himself as he goes through a world that is very overwhelming. It's like a mix of radical acceptance and emotional dissociation which isn't the healthiest but also isn't the worst, it's quite common I'd say where I'm from (and this isn't tsc fandom related at all but I wrote a post on the western sydney work ethic which it reminds me a little of). It also means as readers (with this combined with Cordelia's narration and she views James through very rose coloured glasses) we're led to spend the entire trilogy worried about Matthew (who we get very minimal POVs from and the two we get really just serve to further the plot with barely any introspection) who is himself, actually very worried for James. It becomes a weird enmeshed cycle, but hey, what are parabatai for? And then in the epilogue of Chain of Thorns Matthew hits us with the heartbreaking (because it's to Cordelia) line 'the past few months [have really showed me or smth] how miserable James has been, and for [so?] long'. Like James is doing alright, he always has been, he never needed to be looked after the way Thomas or Christopher seemed to even back at the Academy. But he hasn't really been doing well, at least since then if not longer, and no one knows him or understands this better than Matthew.

I really wish we got James' POV in the epilogue of Chain of Thorns but instead we get Cordelia twice, and we see them in love and really living that and seemingly having done so and gotten closer the way they were always meant to be over that six months we don't see. He seems every bit that person we only got glimpses of who shows and tells her how much he loves her regularly because the feelings are so overwhelming in a good way for once but also because he's able to channel the very thoughtful and selfless way he's learned to interact with those around him into his relationship with his wife and she actually treats him in the same way in return: the wounds of isolation are slowly healing, it's summer and the depression has eased, the desperation and longing aren't really significant now that his needs for the kind of connection where he's seen and feels respected and free the way he likes to be are met, and overall this is a euthymic period for possibly the first time since he was very small and we love it for him--but it's also quite hard to tell on first read how significant this is, because he narrates as someone who's used to suffering and it's so normalised the way that culturally, most of us don't live like this (and that's probably a good thing for us).

Final thoughts Do I think the rage against injustice isn't there anymore, isn't simmering below the surface, it just magically went away because James and Cordelia are married and live happily ever after? No. Do I think that the trauma from his school days, the insecurities he picked up from his parents, and the whole sexual abuse fiasco won't come back to bite him later? Of course not. This headcanon exists because I can see that James' story doesn't end with one (1) eurhythmic period but instead this almost out-of-character ending is actually, just like the controversial TMH, a part of a bigger picture in which complex neurobiology can bring up changes in energy and mood in a cyclical manner and that seems to be what's going on with James. I do think that he'd require another hypomanic episode without the bracelet's interference to be diagnosed if psychiatry the way we know it existed then, and I do hope that when his life is less stressful and there's no sudden trips to the shadow realm and he's feeling connected and not constantly overwhelmed and maybe gets a chance to do some social justice stuff and express his sense of justice in a healthy way, they'd be a lot fewer and far between and probably less severe. But I do also think the minute you put him on an antidepressant he'd be not sleeping again (antidepressants can trigger mania) and maybe this time super excited about something? Autistic special interests that transcend the need for sleep in researching his favourite occult magicians maybe? Like it's mostly a vibe at this point, but I do think the evidence is there, and here are a few more reasons why:

First, the high genetic crossover with things like autism both in brain structures and co-occurrence. I think he gets his autism from Linette and from Aloysius Starkweather. I think the recipe for bipolar is also handed down with that mixed with whatever is going on with Edmund Herondale. Cassandra Clare invented genetics and Charles and Matthew Fairchild are evidence of this. I think their genetics would be consistent with what happens irl and to this point they have only proven this. I'm not going to quote the exact stats because studies vary, both conditions are massively underdiagnosed and have a tendency to be explained in stereotypical ways impacting the stats (James is very unstereotypical and I love that for him) and I have misquoted this before and I don't want to do that but I also don't have the time to dive into every scientific study and analyse their viability. But hey, the science is there.

And finally, the Waterstones letter Matthew sends to James from his trip when he has some advice from Oscar Wilde' ghost I believe and he thinks it might apply to James as well. Matthew is another character I've also headcanoned to have bipolar though it looks very different for him (also this is why I love these two's dynamic so much) and he's very intuitive about these things even with none of the terms we know today. So I wouldn't be surprised that he'll be like 'oh yeah this is me and james both' and be dead right about exactly what both of them need.

12 notes · View notes