#caroline would not be friends with a cop

[cupcakemolotov]

Ex's and Oh's

I have finally finished a thing, but honestly, with the 2023 has shaped up, this is a triumph! Happy Holidays, all.

Summary: Caroline's return to New Orleans is a little less triumphant than she'd like. There is a dead body in her trunk and a magical artifact in her passenger seat, and no matter how much she'd like too, the chances of avoiding her ex-husband are astronomically small. What, with the mate bond and all, but a girl's gotta hope.

Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Alternate Universe - Werewolves Are Known; Minor Character Death; Magical Realism; We Make War Not Love; Post-Divorce; These Two Fools in Love; Klaus and Caroline Being Territorial; for each other; tyler is dead; kind of; Canon-Typical Violence; Violence; Murder

-

“You aren’t supposed to be here.”

“I know.”

Bonnie rubbed a hand down her face after she handed Caroline a cup of coffee, her expression exasperated. “Do you?”

Caroline bit down on a tired smile. “Bonnie.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” she huffed, her eyes narrowing. “Enzo and I won’t be able to hide this. You know he has my place watched. He knows we talk. He knows I used to visit you, on occasion. He let it slide, because to do anything else would just piss you off more.” She sat and sighed. “This he will not let slide.”

Caroline shrugged, reaching carefully for the cream. Her ribs tugged uncomfortably at the motion, and she was careful to hide it. She needed caffeine too badly to let her friend be distracted. It’d just been her and multiple five hour energies over the past twenty hours, and there were things that needed to be said. “He’ll get over it.”

A choked noise escaped from her oldest friend, her expression pinched. It was still early in New Orleans, dawn not having quite creeped over the edge of the horizon. Her walk from her parked car had been quiet, the city slow and sleepy in the early morning hours, only the most adventurous of tourists staggering home. Bonnie had clearly rolled out of bed when Caroline had woken her, her clothing rumbled and mismatched. She’d have felt bad about just showing up after so long, if the circumstances hadn’t been an emergency.

“Caroline, Klaus does not ‘get over things,’ particularly when they involve you.”

“It's been just over ten years since the divorce, Bon.” Three years, fifty-one days since she had last talked to him. Since she had been in the same state as him. If she thought about it too long, her chest would start to ache with the weight of it. She had just never been able to decide if it was grief or rage that she carried like a cloak.

“Oh, I’m aware,” she said flatly. “The entire bayou is aware, Caroline.”

A pause, as Caroline scrunched her nose. “I didn’t think the divorce would still be hot gossip. A decade is more than long enough for people to stop wagging their tongues.”

Bonnie let out a groan. “If you think the kind of gossip your divorce from Klaus Mikaelson inspired is going to die down this century, you’ve forgotten how insular this place can be.”

“Kol lives here.” Caroline shrugged, winced. “He has a new antic every week. They can’t be bored of things to talk about.”

A peculiar look crossed Bonnie’s face. “Would you like to know what the last bit of nonsense Kol got into?” She didn’t wait for a reply. “He threw a block party.”

Caroline blinked. “That’s… not unusual for Kol. I can think of at least three block parties he threw in the last year that I lived here.”

Bonnie made a noise. “I don’t think you're really appreciating the scale of this party. It spilled across six streets. He brought in margarita trucks. Two live bands. Cops were called, SWAT intervened after the second fireball, dozens of wolves ended up in jail overnight, and it took a week for Elijah to untangle the legal shenanigans.” She arched her brow. “A week. Even the post-Esther shindig didn’t explode through the city quite that way.”

And neither of them had mentioned a word of this to her. She wondered if Enzo had a video. “Where was Klaus?”

“Business trip.” Bonnie said succinctly. “He showed up an hour after the SWAT team had been brought in to deal with the drunk witches. Do you know what Kol was celebrating?”

Caroline shook her head.

“Your divorce.”

The noise that caught in Caroline’s throat was strangled, torn somewhere between a laugh and a shriek. Bonnie’s expression darkened into that of a martyr before a judge.

“There was a banner, Caroline. Kol hung it across the front of the mansion, right above the entrance, and he had someone set up two spotlights to make sure it was visible. I have no idea who made the banner, but it had to be someone out of state, because supposedly no one died. Would you like to guess what it said?”

Caroline opened and closed her mouth, but couldn’t quite find the words. What exactly would Kol have put up to celebrate her divorce?

“No?” Bonnie crossed her arms. “Too bad. It read, “Congratulations to Caroline Forbes, Ten Years and Counting.”

It was a physical strain, not to laugh at Bonnie’s unimpressed look. Her ex-husband had enough pride to keep the Titanic afloat, having their disaster of a marriage waved in his face had to have made him apocalyptic with anger.

Bonnie nodded at her expression. “Elijah had to smuggle Kol to Eastern Europe. He’s still there.”

Struggling with her composure, when she finally spoke, Caroline managed to mostly sound normal. “Kol can occasionally be likable, can’t he?”

“You would find it hilarious.” Bonnie made a face. “Enzo certainly did. But it’s made my life unnecessarily complicated. Rebekah is refusing to talk to Klaus until he brings Kol back, and Klaus threw her last messenger through the front doors. Werewolves can apparently bounce. “

Caroline looked everywhere but Bonnie’s face. She would not appreciate the laughter Caroline was struggling to hide.

“The pack has started referring to the party as The Event, and every time someone is dumb enough to mention it in Klaus’ hearing, he gets that particular look on his face.” Bonnie waved her hand. “You know the look: he’s clearly weighing just how useful you are and if dead would be the better state of your existence.”

Caroline cleared her throat, trying to look contrite. It was difficult, when all she wanted to do was lean forward and ask for more details. Ask just how much Klaus was suffering, if the wound of her leaving matched the one he’d left in her. “That sounds terrible.”

AO3: Link Here

Please remember that my A03 account is unfortunately locked due to AI scrapping. You will need to be logged into an account to see all of my stories.

#klaroline #klaroline fanficion #my fic #story preview

[buckybarnesb-tch]

Random Thought: Klaus Mikaelson

Someone requested a Yandere!Klaus Random Thought so I figured I’d give it a try

Yandere!Klaus

He would be obsessed with you from the moment he first meets you. Needless to say you do not feel what he does right away and he’s determined to help you accept what you’re clearly denying.

At first he was just kind to you, it was strange for everyone, seeing Klaus take a liking to you in such a way and Damon often wanted to take advantage of it, sending you to distract him whenever something is going on but you don’t like it. Something about the way that the Hybrid looks at you is unsettling.

He is a very clingy person, the moment he got your phone number he texted you all the time, often calling you just to say ‘goodnight’ and hear your sweet voice.

His possessiveness also knows no bounds. He will follow you whenever you can’t talk to him, needing to know what was more important, usually ending up on a little spree with Kol to let off steam, though that creates its own problems. Where Klaus is more possessive Kol is extremely obsessive and manipulative. He is the kind to reccomend following you everywhere you go and trying to drive a wedge between you and your friends. Klaus knows that listening to Kol is usually the wrong choice but he can’t help himself, he needs you, he needs you like he needs blood, it causes him physical pain when he doesn’t know where you are and if you’re okay so he does as his brother suggests, he follows you all the time now.

He actually went to your work and compelled your boss to fire you so that you would have more personal time to spend on him. He felt a little bad about it but when your first call leaving the office was to him, wanting him to listen to you as you rant about your idiot boss, wanting him to be the one to comfort you, he knew he was right to do it as it got him more than he could have expected. He sat on your couch later that night comforting you and even got to hold you as you ate ice cream and watched sad movies. Of course he assured you that if you ever need anything, he’s here for you and you have no reason to worry about money.

Klaus was extremely overprotective as well, though he did it in ways that weren’t very noticeable to you. You had started spending more time with Klaus after you lost your job and he began working to push your friends away which with how much they hate the Hybrid, wasn’t very hard at all. 2 weeks after you lost your job Elena, Bonnie, Stefan, and Caroline had all stopped speaking to you and Klaus was going to great lengths to take up all your time and keep you away from Damon.

He is more than happy to hurt anyone who hurts you in anyway. In a drunken confession you had admitted an ex from high school had assaulted you while you were drunkenly talking about what kind of kid Klaus would have been if he had gone to high school in modern times. 2 hours later you had fallen asleep in his arms and he carefully laid you on the couch before compelling a cop in town to give him the boys address. Honestly it wasn’t difficult to find him at all and he was dead no more than 3 hours after you told Klaus about him, no one gets to hurt his girl and live. No One. He was back 20 minutes later and lifting you back onto his chest, not willing to give up the chance you had given him to hold you all night long.

About a month after losing your job you couldn’t afford your apartment anymore and you hadn’t been able to find a new job as every interview you went on Klaus compelled the employer to get rid of your file. You told him that you were going to be moving in with your brother in Pennsylvania and that’s when he talked you into moving in with him. Spend never ending time with Klaus, never have to pay any kinds of bills and get a bedroom all your own that was almost 3 times the size of your bedroom in the apartment? Hell Yes! Living with him seemed like a great idea and while you love being with Klaus you quickly begin realizing just how possessive of you he is. Once you move in you can’t walk out the front door without him asking where you’re going and tagging along with you or telling you that you can do that later only later never comes. You’re with him 96% of every day, the other 4% you get alone in your room when you shower or when he’s busy painting so you watch something alone.

He gets even more touchy than he was before, becoming quite bold about it. He snuggles with you when you watch TV, you having taken to catching him up on movies he needs to have seen like the Harry Potter or Star Wars series, classic must see movies like The Breakfast Club, The Goonies, and The Lost Boys (which he particularly hated considering how much you love the vampire boys in it). He will often pull you either almost or completely into his lap, especially when a male character you like is on screen. The first time he ever kissed you was while you were introducing him to the MCU and you watched The Winter Soldier movie, Bucky Barnes being drool worthy. You pulled away, stunned but he looked so happy and content with having kissed you that you couldn’t be mad at him. You knew he had a crush on you since a few days after you moved in and you liked Klaus too but you didn’t realize how obsessed he truly was.

The beginning of your relationship really started when you first went against something Klaus had said. You wanted to go to a concert in town square that night and he had said no, that he didn’t want to go and you can’t go alone, that bad people are out at those kinds of things, especially vampires looking to feed and concerts are fantastic places to do that. He promised to take you to a show the next time one of your favorite bands had a tour nearby but you didn’t listen. You snuck out while he was in the shower and you enjoyed the show, eating some food at the different vendors and leaving a bit early so you weren’t out past 10 so maybe he wouldn’t be too mad. On the way home you heard footsteps behind you on the road which was weird, you were walking down a dead end road to Klaus’ mansion on like 20 acres of land he owned, no one else should be going this way. You must have turned around at least 3 times and you finally sighed, pulling out your phone and calling Klaus.

‘Hello?’

‘Klaus!’

‘Y/n. Nice to hear your voice. I wasn’t sure whether you were safe or not considering you just walked out and left me alone with plans to watch your Supernatural show all by myself.’ You felt a bit bad at that, knowing you had begged him to watch it for a while and you had hyped it up so now he had been excited to start it and you ditched him.

‘Look, I’m sorry, okay? But can you stop trying to scare me and just come out? This isn’t funny, I’ll make it up to you, I swear!’ He didn’t respond right away and you couldn’t hear anything from him.

‘What are you talking about Bunny?’ You rolled your eyes, looking around.

‘I know it’s you following me and trying to make your point but come on, I’m almost home, okay? Just walk the rest of the way with me!’ You shouted the last part so he could hear you in the trees wherever he was.

‘I’m at home, Y/n…I’ve been waiting for you. I was gonna give you the silent treatment until you offered to make hot chocolate and stay up late to watch the show…is something wrong?’

‘No!’ You insisted, not wanting him to know that he might have been right to not want you going. ‘Of course not. I’m fine. I’ll be back in a few minut-‘ you cut yourself off when you turned to look back and saw a pair of red eyes through the trees. You gripped the phone tight and turned, beginning to sprint. Something yanked you off your feet and that’s the last thing you remember before waking up in Klaus’ bed.

You awoke in transition, realizing that you had died and thanked God Klaus had healed you earlier that day or you would be dead. You apologized like crazy for not trusting him which is exactly what Klaus had wanted when he compelled that vampire to chase you and snap your neck. He was sure that, vampire or not, next time you would listen.

You snuggled up to him that night after drinking a few blood bags and it was the first time you kissed him yourself. That was the start of your romantic relationship for you, little did you know you were around 3-4 months behind Klaus.

Klaus Mikaelson Masterlist

#tvd klaus #klaus mikaelson #vampire #hybrid #the vampire diaries #the originals #the vampire diares imagine #the originals imagine #klaus x reader #klaus x y/n #klaus x oc #klaus imagine #klaus mikaelson smut #klaus smut #niklaus mikaelson #niklaus x reader #klaus fluff #klaus mikaelson fluff #klaus mikaelson x oc #klaus mikaelson x reader #klaus mikaelson x y/n #klaus mikaelson imagine #klaus mikaelson one shot #joseph morgan #klaus fic #klaus mikaelson fanfiction #klaus mikaelson headcanon #random thoughts #klaus x you #yandere!klaus

[jerzwriter]

Tricks and Treats

Thank you to @aces-and-angels for this ask for Halloween prompt #28. It's the perfect prompt for them. I hope I did it justice. :)

Book: Crimes of Passion Pairing: Trystan Thorne x F!MC (Carolina Rose) Words: 1,400 Rating: Teen Warnings: Some violence, though nothing too intense; cursing Summary: Trystan & Carolina are running late to Ruby & Luke's Halloween Party. They have one stop to make on the way, but things go awry. A/N: It helps if you know the story of Little Red Riding Hood, but you don't have to. Participating in @choicesoctober Halloween, @choicesholidays Halloween

CoP Masterlist Main Masterlist

“One, two, three, four,” Carolina’s red cape fluttered behind her each time she raised her arm to grab another bottle of wine from the shelf. She had her hand on the fifth when she paused. “Five? Is five necessary? Maybe four will do... I can’t be the only one bringing wine... and I’m not just saying this because my shopping basket is so freaking heavy...”  

She could feel the weight of someone’s stare as she continued the animated conversation with herself. Turning her head quickly , she found a mildly amused shopper looking her way.

“My friends like wine,” Carolina shrugged. “A lot, actually... but... this is getting heavy, and I need to make a decision. I don’t normally talk to myself like this!” As the shopper shuffled away, Carolina yelled after her. “I don’t! I really don’t... I’m a very sane person! Totally sane... except... for right now.”

She let out a snort imagining how ridiculous she must have looked... Little Red Riding Hood standing in the middle of an aisle at Westside Market, rambling aimlessly about how much alcohol she needed to buy while declaring herself sane. New Yorkers were used to unusual sights, but she didn’t blame the woman for rushing away. 

She looked at her watch with a frown. They were already twenty minutes late for Ruby and Luke's party and still had midtown traffic to grapple with, so she set off to find Trystan, still talking to herself as she turned her neck to look down each aisle.

“Trystan, where are you?” Though she was actively looking for him, her heart still skipped a beat when a big, furry paw landed on her shoulder.  

“Trystan!” she startled, “you scared the shit out of me.”

“There is no Trystan,” he snickered, playfully pulling her close. “Only the Big Bad Wolf..uh.. no.. I mean Grandma! I’m Grandma, trust me.”

“Grandma? What big paws you have!” she beamed as he nuzzled into her neck and playfully growled.

“The better to paw you with, my dear...”

“Well, you can paw me once we get to the party. We’re very late.”

She went to reach for his hand, bursting into laughter when she saw the contents in his basket. “What are you buying?”

“Sausage and whipped cream,” he answered matter-of-factly.

Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Caroline winced. “Sausage... and whipped cream?”

“Yes. Ruby asked me to pick up chorizo, and there is no way I’m partaking in Luke’s pumpkin pie without the benefit of whipped cream. What do you take me for? A heathen?"

“But, Trystan... we’re walking up to the cashier to purchase a lot of wine, an obscenely large chorizo... and whipped cream.... how does that look?”

“Like we’re on our way to one hell of a party,” he winked. 

“Why don’t we stop on aisle five and throw in some Vaseline. That should give the staff something to talk about for hours, maybe days, to come!”

“Aisle five, you say?” he said, grabbing her hand.

“Can we forget I mentioned that?”

But his impish grin gave her all the answers she needed.

“I should know better by now,” she sighed.

~~~~~

Carolina was lost in thought as they waited on the barely moving line. Trystan scrunched his nose to wordlessly to inquire about her thoughts.

“I should get more wine,” she insisted. “I mean... you know our friends. This won't be nearly enough.”  

“Well, I don’t think this line is going to move anytime soon. Would you like me to run and get more?”

“No, you wait here,” she insisted. “I’ll go.”

“Just be quick,” he smiled. “It's dangerous out in the woods.”

“I know!” She said with wide eyes. “We even have Drakovian wolves now!"

“Oh! The worst kind!” he scoffed, patting her bottom quickly as she rushed off, his eyes never leaving her until she was out of sight. He turned back to face the front of the line and met the disapproving gaze of an elderly woman in front of him.

“It's OK," Trystan insisted. "She’s my girlfriend, that was perfectly acceptable behavior.”

Not sure she was satisfied with his answer, he pulled out his phone to check messages. He was lost in thought when...

“Freeze!” A masked man wearing an undistinguishable costume yelled as he launched at the cashier, gun blazing.

The teenage girl at the register began to scream.

“Shut the hell up and keep your hands where I can see ‘em... then no one gets hurt!”

Suddenly, another man dressed as Chewbacca whipped around and pointed a gun at the customers waiting in line.

“Don’t any of you get any ideas either!”

Trystan held up his hands with a roll of his eyes. “This behavior is so unbecoming of a Wookie.”

But his bravado depleted at once when the man cocked his pistol and aimed it at Trystan.

“Think you’re funny there, Scar?"

"Scar? No...I'm the Big Bad Wolf."

"SHUT UP!!! One more out of you, and you’ll be laughing at the morgue.”

Back at the register, the young cashier nervously tossed cash into a shopping bag as the robber was losing patience.

“Make it quick, Blondie! We don’t have all day!”

The old woman in front of Trystan began to hyperventilate and appeared to lose her balance.

Trystan reached out to touch her arm. “It’s going to be all right,” he whispered; but his sudden movement jarred the Wookie assailant, who fired a shot in the air.

“I SAID DON’T FUCKING MOVE! DON’T MAKE ME DO SOMETHING I DON’T WANT TO DO!”

But eyes lit up when he caught a flash of light from the old woman’s direction.

“Well,” he let out a slow whistle. “That’s one hell of a diamond ring you’ve got there... hand it over!”

“No..." she cried. "I’ll give you all my money, but not this! Please! My Harry gave this to me for our fortieth anniversary! I remember him every time I see it!"

“Lady, unless you want to join Harry tonight, HAND IT OVER.”

Trystan clenched his teeth as the old woman tearfully removed the ring from her finger; that’s when he locked eyes with Carolina. A knowing look passed between them, and she gently nodded, mouthing the words... one... two... three....

Carolina rushed to the register, raising a bottle of wine high above her head, breaking it over the gunman’s head. Meanwhile, Trystan charged Chewbacca. He wailed as Trystan twisted his arm in an inhuman position until his gun fell to the floor. The first man began coming to and attempted to reach for the fallen weapon...

“Oh, no, you fucking don’t!” Carolina yelled as another bottle of wine crashed into his temple.

Trystan sat atop the other man to hold him in place. But when the police arrived, they took aim at Trystan.

“NO!” Carolina yelled. “The Big Bad Wolf is the good guy! He's with me. Chewbacca is the one you want!”

“My mistake,” the officer nodded. “The call just said a hairy beast was one of the assailants."

"It's OK," Carolina smirked. "It’s not every day we see the Big Bad Wolf and Chewbacca wrestling on the floor!”

“Wrestling?” Trystan spat. “There was no wrestling! I had this second-rate mongrel fully under control!”

“Of course, you did, dear,” Carolina smiled as the other officer took the wine-battered criminal off her hands.

The officer couldn't help but laugh. “It’s not every day you see Red and the Big Bad Wolf taking out the bad guys, either.”

“Hey, it’s New York,” Carolina shrugged. “You never know what you’ll see... especially on Halloween.”

With that, she turned to the wine-battered criminal. “Speaking of which... what the hell is your costume? I can't even tell what you were supposed to be."

“Sinatra!” The man answered bitterly.

“Sin... SINATRA! Frank Sinatra!” Carolina spat. “If I had known that, I would have hit harder! How dare you disparage Frank like that!”

“Do you have a thing for Sinatra?” Trystan questioned. “Perhaps I should have chosen my costume more carefully.”

“Sinatra was one of my father’s favorites,” she smiled softly. “And this SOB has the audacity....”

“Detective Rose,” the officer interrupted. “We need to take your statement.”

“Oh, of course,” she said as Trystan's phone rang.

“It shouldn’t be long. Then you two kids can head back to grandma’s house.”

As the officer took out his notepad, he and Carolina heard bits and pieces of Trystan's conversation.

“I know you’re desperate for the chorizo... we stopped a robbery.... yes, a robbery.... we’re fine... we’ll be leaving shortly... I have whipped cream, too.”

Carolina shook her head. “Whenever I'm with you, it seems words I could never have imagined in the same sentence all just meld together."

"I'm confident I'm not the first person to say chorizo, whipped cream, and robbery in the same breath."

"I don't know," the police officer muttered. "I think you might be."

After wrapping things up, the store manager came over to thank the couple, insisting they take their order for free. As they made their way out into the cold, moonlit night, Trystan suddenly stopped in his tracks.

"We just can't have a normal night out, can we?”

“Hon, this is normal for us,” she smiled, reaching up to kiss his cheek. “Now, keep moving. Luke is desperate for his chorizo.”

"Talk about words I'd never hear strung together," he laughed.

It was a Halloween they'd never forget. 🎃

@choicesficwriterscreations Tagging others separately.

#choices fanfic #crimes of passion #choices crimes of passion #trystan thorne #trystan thorne x mc #trystan x carolina #playchoices #choices stories you play #halloween #fic reqs

[series-thoughts]

On the subject of team delusion:

Season 3 is probably gonna pick up a year later again, except the past year for the chucky survivors is very different in my mind compared to whatever Don Mancini is coming up with.

In my mind, picking up things a year later means the kids are all living with Andy at the cabin (in Chicago? I think that's where the cabin was) Where Nica also lives when she's not hunting down Tiffany.

The kids (Junior and Nadine are alive and the twins still have their human bodies) are happy at a new school where they could have a fresh start. The twins are getting ready to go to a nearby college, and Nadine moved back with her dad after the incarnate lord was shut down and now attends the same school as the other teens.

Kyle lives not far away in an apartment in the city and so do Mike and Karen with their apartment being a couple of blocks away from Kyle's and they all visit frequently.

As for Nica (who still has her limbs, shut up Don) not long after we last saw her at the end of season 2, she found a way to get Caroline away from Tiffany and bring her to the cabin where she now lives too and attends the local elementary school.

Nica still hunts down Tiffany and plans to get her revenge on her but also spends a decent amount of time living at the cabin, enjoying having a family after so long and it give her a safe space to plan her next moves. She's currently putting on a brave face for the twins before they move into their dorm, she knows that they are more than capable of taking care of themselves but she is going to miss them like hell.

Nadine is constantly visiting and staying over at the cabin since she's friends with all the kids and absolutely loves playing with Caroline. Andy gets along well with Nadine but is often pretty nervous for her just because of how innocent minded and optimistic she is even knowing everything about Chucky and Tiffany. Meanwhile, Nica completely adores her and loves listening to her enthusiastic updates about her life whenever they get a chance to talk (she tries to ignore the similarities between her and Alice).

At least once every week or so, everyone meets up for dinner and are happy to just have some regular domesticity in their lives.

Kyle is 100% the cool aunt who often tells Jake and Junior embarrassing stories about Andy in his teens that the cousins use to their advantage. Meanwhile, Devon loves talking to Mike and listening to his stories of when he was a cop whilst Lexy gets on surprisingly well with Karen with her treating her and the others in a polar opposite way to how her mother would treat her.

So yeah, that's how their year has gone in my mind. Clearly, I am more than a little delusional when it comes to the treatment of Chucky survivors in the series.

#chucky #chucky 2021 #child's play #chucky syfy #andy barclay #nica pierce #kyle simpson #karen barclay #mike norris #junior wheeler #jake wheeler #devon evans #lexy cross #caroline cross #nadine chucky #glen ray tilly #glenda ray tilly #final family #final family au #eloise's random chucky thoughts

[mytvd]

why is caroline's hair and lingerie post-vampire bite her cutest look so far

omfg toe ring closeup

why is vicki so upset at jeremy feeling like she hooked up with him for "the drugs" after she accused his motives. what is her deal. my initial dislike is morphing into a burning need to figure her out

have elena and stefan even been "dating" for 24 hours yet? this bff/bf bonding hang seems so sudden

i like matt's instincts to leave elena alone, wow. so rare!!

why is mr. tanner's class now on the end of ww2??? i need to see the syllabus

he's the football coach too???? D:

if i didn't already know matt lives i would definitely assume he was destined from how decent he's acting to elena and stefan. why is he friends with tyler

i mean i get that in high school friends are often proximity-based but ugh

"stefan and i have watched every single person we've cared about die" lmao what a natural thing to say

is it important for the vampires to stay on the down low or what?? they are not being subtle at all lol.

if damon is supposed to be 25 why tf he is hanging out with these teens like this?? i get it is to mess with stefan but it's creepy. also what would jenna think about this. where is she

damon could be doing literally anything with his immortality and super senses. so far i am buying that stefan is trying to live a "human life" but damon could be sowing true chaos somewhere with a lot more going on than a small town in virginia. and amongst people with more interesting lives than high school students

the crow im speechless

i think i would find stefan much more boring if i had seen this show at an earlier time in life (especially while it was airing) but at this point i'm so beyond fatigued over seeing woman brutalized in the media and real life and the state of the world that seeing this sensitive guy trying to [presumably] genuinely appreciate small human moments and support his girlfriend is nice? and i like how invested he is in bringing damon's humanity to light (although it doesn't seem like he's doing anything to really keep him from killing non-elena citizens). maybe he gets more boring? also watching the way caroline and vicki are being treated by men is disgusting.

"you can have her when i'm done" dear god how does vicki stomach the presence of tyler!!!!

"yes it is, otherwise you wouldn't put an alternate meaning behind everything you say" okay elena!!!

tbh one reason i never watched this show is because i hated mia on degrassi so much that i didn't think i could handle a show where nina dobrev is the protagonist but i like her a lot on this so far! i was wrong

can stefan even pretend to be upset about damon killing mr. tanner

it gets addressed in btvs that the sunnydale cops are aware of the existence of vampires so i am wondering if the mystic falls cops do as well? like how many bodies with identical neck wounds could they bring in without connecting them to each other? also i guess i know sunnydale is a hellmouth full of monsters and idk if there are atp other vampires killing people besides damon.

oops i spoke too soon i guess stefan doesn't believe in damon after all lol

#the vampire diaries #tvd 01x03 #vampire diaries #tvd

[battle-of-alberta]

For a grown man, Cal gives off spoiled brat vibes. What was he like as a kid?

[the irony being that today, calvin regularly drinks whiskey because It’s the Culture tm]

so sorry to inform you guys Calvin was assigned cop at birth u_u he didn’t spend his whole childhood in the NWMP barracks though, there was a period where he was living in a tent on the side of the road waiting for the train to show up (though that said, that might have been a bit more sanitary.)

More notes follow.

- Calvin was imbued with admiration for Toronto from a young age because the majority of the men recruited for service were originally from Toronto. His attention quickly turned south, however, the more he interacted with Americans and heard about mythical places like Denver and Chicago.

- Fort Calgary was ironically built and supplied by some of the same whiskey traders they were supposed to stamp out, shh.

- Calvin was really proud his American friends tolerated him enough to hang out with him... and is still to this day, perhaps not realizing that the others considered him “mild west” rather than wild west. During this period he mostly hung out with folks from Montana and Colorado- the relationship with Texas didn’t really get off the ground until the mid 20th century.

- It’s been a few years since I read Denny’s account of Fort Calgary but I seem to remember him commenting on having to order lots and lots of tea.

- I still think this ongoing joke that Calvin doesn’t realize Lilith and his old rival Fort Whoop Up are the same person is really funny (y’know, despite Lethbridge having an identical flag, annual Whoop Up Days, Whoop Up Drive, etc that he just assumes is a historical curiosity of hers)

- Calvin’s other siblings/cousins (not depicted) include big bro Fort Macleod and Fort Saskatchewan, among others. I’m not sure what that makes Fort Walsh... a brother/cousin who was re-animated in the 40s and never quite the same? Lol.

- The “gentlemen” Calvin comments on to Caroline are caricatures of “remittance men”, that is, a man exiled to the colonies by his family and paid regular remittances to ensure they didn’t come back and do whatever it was that got them sent off in the first place.

- “No English” was a common sentiment because of above remittance men - ‘English’ I believe was kind of a derogatory term used in both Canada and the States to refer to anyone from the cities back east who were a bit too soft for frontier life, but in the territories it could definitely refer to literal expats from England. (Tangentially related, but Prince Edward even bought himself a ranch not far from Calgary in the 1920s.)

- The events Ed and Madeline are thinking of include: one of the early visits to Fort Edmonton that I’ve referenced a zillion times (the NWMP couldn’t sleep because they weren’t used to the dogs); the 1885 Northwest Resistance which caused Calgary to panic so much that a basically useless militia was formed; when natural gas wells were discovered around Medicine Hat, Calgarians threw a fit and wouldn’t rest until someone funded a successful hunt for their own.

- (afterwards in the race for the capital, edmonton newspapers would jab at calgary’s tendency to act like a pig eating everything around it, an article which the papers in medicine hat would reprint)

#aph oc #hetalia oc #hws oc #projectcanada cities #pc: calgary #pc: bowness #pc: edmonton #pc: lethbridge #pc: medicine hat #pc: red deer #hapo art #traditional art #ink #boab ask #boab historical #comic #elaine hartley #calvin mccall #lilith sheran #edward murphy #caroline cochrane #madeline hargrave #anonymous

[bullet-prooflove]

Chasing Fires - Brian ‘Otis’ Zvonecek: Chapter Fourteen

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

Brian Zvonecek has spent most of his adult life fighting fires, now it’s time to chase one.

Follows on from Million Reasons but is a stand alone fic.

Tagging   @orileyfiction for all her help and support! Also @me-ladie​ for being the wonderful person she is and betaing.

- Chapter One

- Chapter Two

- Chapter Three

- Chaper Four

- Chapter Five

- Chapter Six

- Chapter Seven

- Chapter Eight

- Chapter Nine

- Chapter Ten

- Chapter Eleven

- Chapter Twelve

- Chapter Thirteen

Kat was in the kitchen when Antonio sought her out. He lingered in the doorway for a second watching as she stared into the distance. Her fingers gripped the cardboard tab of the tea bag as she dunked it repeatedly into her mug. He knew she was replaying the events of today, relieving each and every harrowing moment. It had been a wake-up call, not just for her. She never lost control like that, not in all the time he’d known her. 

This thing with Eve, it was grinding on her, eroding her soul piece by piece. She’d spent so long holding onto it, it was eating her up inside. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to get through to her, to tell her how she was compromising herself, her job.

She didn’t even register his presence when he stepped into the room, not until he reached for the coffee pot alongside her and poured it into his mug.

“You alright?” he asked her, his gaze fixated on her face as he took a sip. 

“Yea.” She said, plucking the teabag from her drink and tossing it into the bin. “I don’t think I said thank you back there.”

“I’m your partner. I’ve always got your back.”

He raised his fist; she bumped her knuckles against his before attention turned back to the depths of her tea. 

“You’ve been on edge since this case started,” Antonio began, his hand rubbing across the back of his neck. “I don’t think you’ve processed everything that happened to Eve, I think you’re holding onto it and it is dragging you down, affecting your work.”

“I know,” She told him before looking him straight in the eye. “It just destroys so many lives Antonio and it happens all the fucking time. Caroline was fourteen and now she has to live with what happened to her…”

“And you need to find a way to live with what just happened to you,” He said firmly, rolling his sleeves up past his wrists so that she could see the white razor wire scarring. “I know what it’s like to have your power stripped away, to feel helpless, to watch someone you love suffer, trust me Kat, I know that more than most, but you need to get a handle on it.”

He saw the fury in her eyes, the embers so brightly that he thought they could ignite at any second. This was what he was talking about, this anger, this savage rage against the world. It would consume her if she let it. 

“Are you coming to me as Voight’s second in command or as my friend?”

“Both,” Antonio told her with a shrug of his shoulders. “You’re a good cop and you do good work here, I just don’t wanna see this thing take over your life. You need to make peace with it.”

He didn’t want this for her, didn’t want her to have to endure anymore. He wanted her to be healthy and happy, but you could only lead a horse to water, you couldn’t force it to drink.

“Look if you give me a sec, I’ll grab my keys and drop you home.” Antonio said, putting his mug down on the counter. 

“I’m good.” Kat said, holding up her hand to cut him off when he tried to speak. “I don’t think I need anything else from you right now.”

“Kat, don’t be like that.” 

Kat said nothing, she simply walked out the door.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For Kat, when everything was going to hell in a handbasket, she always came back to the water. There was something about the sound of waves lapping against the edge of the pool, the feel of the water on her skin as she sliced through it with a ferocity she felt deep down inside of her bones. 

Antonio’s words rang through her ears as she pushed off the wall again, propelling herself forward. He was right of course; she hated the fact that he was right. It had been two years since she’d taken down Scagnetti and she still carried the weight of Eve’s death on her shoulders. The memories haunted her, they dogged her dreams, stealing away her breath in the middle of the night. She would never forget seeing Eve like that, lying in a bathtub stained red by the life force poring from her wrists. The water had been cold when Kat had tried to haul her out, her lips blue. She was gone, long gone but Kat had to try because giving up meant her friend was never coming back.

She couldn’t shake that trauma, but she could deal with it and she could make sure it didn’t influence her choices any further. She’d done the work, she’d put Eve’s rapist behind bars, that should be enough shouldn’t it? 

The truth was Scagnetti was just a drop in an ocean that was brimming with predators, the ones that showed themselves and the ones that didn’t. What happened to her today with Ty Henley wasn’t even the worst thing that had happened to a woman in the past twenty-four hours and that’s where this all stemmed from. It was bad enough that a man could do that, but the fact Tawney had been complicit, that she enjoyed it, pushed every single one of Kat’s buttons.

In a world where one in five women were raped in the US shouldn’t they all be watching out for one another? It enraged her that she even had to think about it, women should be able to walk down the street without fear of harassment or violence, anybody should but the fear was there, even for her as a cop. That was the real source of her anger, the injustice of it all, the fact that it had happened to her on the job. If it had been Antonio or Jay who’d walked into the house it would have been different, but it wasn’t.  She was the one who’d been restrained, knife pressed to her throat while that piece of shit touched her. She was the one who would have to live with the knowledge of what almost happened, that she hadn’t been able to save herself. 

It was maddening, so deeply fucking frustrating she could just scream and scream and scream.

So that’s what she did. 

She ducked her head under the water, and she screamed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brian was waiting for her outside. His dark wavy hair fell over his forehead as he leaned against the bonnet of his car, smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings out of his mouth. A navy blue scarf was wound around his throat, tucked inside that midnight coloured fleece with the white geometric snowflakes on the sleeves. Those dark eyes of his flickered up, catching hers. Her breath snagged in her throat and for a moment she felt that weight lift off her chest, her jarred nerves beginning to settle.

He held out the cardboard jacket of cigarettes wordlessly.  Kat plucked one, placing it between her lips before leaning on the car alongside him. He removed a red plastic lighter from his pocket, cupping the end of her cigarette with his hand before lighting it for her. They stood beside each other in silence, staring at their distorted reflections in the glass panelling of the rec center. Kat could feel the heat rolling off his body as he lingered in her proximity, close enough to touch if she wanted to. 

She took a drag, inhaling the nicotine and feeling a calm settle in her bloodstream before she allowed herself to speak. 

“Antonio told you.” She said resolutely, watching as he blew a stream of smoke from between his lips. 

“Yea, he did.” Brian responded before tossing the butt of his cigarette onto the ground and crushing it with the heel of his sneaker. “Are you doing ok?”

“Better now.” She told him, bumping his hip with hers lightly.

He tilted his head towards her, their eyes meeting as Kat dropped her own cigarette to the floor extinguishing it. He was tentative, she got that, unsure of how to respond to what had happened to her. She could see how much he wanted to touch her but as always, he was a gentleman, putting her needs first even if he diagnosed them incorrectly. She wasn’t made of glass, and she knew the difference between a man who wanted to hurt her and the man that was standing right here in front of her. 

“I won’t break.” She promised him, taking hold of his wrist and guiding his arm around her shoulders. 

He drew her close into the welcoming shelter of his body, his clean-shaven cheek brushing hers. He held Kat like she was the most precious thing in the world as she buried her face into the curve of his neck inhaling the rich citrus scent that clung to his skin. 

“I’m glad you're ok.”  He whispered into her hair.

With Brian by her side, she knew she would be.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#brian otis zvonecek #brian otis zvonecek x reader #brian zvonecek #brian zvonecek imagine #brian otis zvonecek imagine #brian otis zvonecek x oc #brian otis zvonecek fic #brian zvonecek x oc

[timeguardiansarchive]

Baby Troubles: Nancy And Jim Reed

@avictimofthejazz​ continued from X

                 Fatigued, Nancy Drew determines she will NOT go another round with the insufferable ninnies from dispatch. They keep dragging her in futile circles; one agency referring her to the next, and passing her down successive chains. This is an emergency!!! With one arm balancing the fussy baby, her other cradles the phone. “Could you just tell me where Officer Reed is?” She mostly patiently clips. 

    He’s off duty for the day. Would you care to speak with the third shift? 

Tinnitus tugs at her eardrums. Her world is spinning, whirling like an EF5. The plastic receiver nearly drops with her astonishment. But alas, Caroline offered one brief nugget of hope. She’s friends with Jeanie and knew exactly where Nancy could find them, if she moved quickly enough. 

She pulls the bundle protectively tighter to her chest. Her feet flew as fast as she dared, carrying Nancy towards the shopping mall. This time, her interest in all the wares is long buried beneath the terror in her pulse. If Nancy is discovered with this child, there are bound to be disconcerting questions aimed her way. Questions that could lead to imprisonment given she is barely eighteen and this infant was clearly not her’s or Frank’s. 

For a moment, Nancy was concerned he would not recognize her. Blessedly, he did. A subtle smile attempts to tug at taught lips given his instinctive reply about puppies. “I wish.” Puppies would have been a far better surprise. 

Regret pierced her sky-blue eyes as they nervously search the older man. Any color left in her countenance after the gruesome discovery, bleeds from her form. “We have a problem.” Nancy shakily intimates. Her voice drops, hauntingly low and overwrought with a sudden departure of confidence.

 A petrified glance is cast over both her shoulders before returning to the cop. “You’re a father, right? You know how to take care of babies---” Nancy infers from the conversations that the two officers had during her ride-along. The squirming bundle is slowly revealed from her place of concealment. “I think, I’ve stumbled upon.... well... a scheme of sorts. I didn’t know where else to turn. I can’t exactly take it home with me.” Her father, while doting and eternally patient, might hit a literal roof.

#Baby Troubles #avictimofthejazz #Muse: Nancy Drew #Nancy & Jim Reed

[supremeuppityone]

Klaroline fanfic update: A Beautiful Symmetry

Working on the next one-shot in my Klaroline series, A Beautiful Symmetry. Here’s a quick peek:

Chapter 200: Raised Stakes

           A body staked in a cemetery normally would raise a few eyebrows, but this was the third one in as many weeks. Detective Klaus Mikaelson rose from inspecting the latest corpse with a grimace, noting the murmurs of the cops milling about the crime scene tape lines.

           “Mikaelson’s off chasing vampires again.”

           “Everyone knows he gets assigned this Halloween shit because of his...special connections.”

           His gray eyes flashed and he threw a glare at those gathered until they looked away awkwardly. They don’t get to speak about what they don’t know. He wouldn’t have anyone speak badly about his Caroline. Well, not exactly “his” Caroline, but they were...friends of a sort. Of course, he would’ve preferred more, but he respected her wishes and even found her pragmatic reasoning to be irritatingly sound. Her unique lifestyle certainly would bring him unwanted attention given his ambitions to rise in the ranks of the department and eventually transition into local politics. The voting populace often were vindictive, judgmental bastards.

           Pulling out his phone, he quickly called Caroline’s number, a smile gracing his lips as she sleepily growled, “Seriously?! You DO realize that some of us don’t work regular hours? Playtime ran late. So, talk fast.”

           “It’s another body. Just like the others and I thought maybe I could stop by and...uh, observe?”

           She snorted, “You mean come around the club and suspiciously glare at all my regulars until they cut their nights short?” He caught the faintest rustling of fabric and it still made him wonder whether she wore some of those delightful costumes to bed. She always scoffed and swore sequins never felt as good on the skin coming out of bed as they did going in.

#klaroline fanfic #uppity bitch fanfic #klaroline #sneak peek

[enkisstories]

Connor learned of his partner’s whereabouts in TV. He had to ask Caroline to lend him her private jet to get there quickly, because even a broom would have been too slow.

Connor: “Phew, thank goodness you’re alright. Judith, where have you been? You were supposed to analyze a crime scene for today’s episode...”

Judith: “I did! Thoroughly and in record time!”

Connor: “In Detroit, I mean! We aren’t even allowed to investigate here. It’s a different state.”

Judith: “Oh? But Monica Mullen apprehended the gangster who had stolen the Weeping Widow from a museum in Strangerville in New York! I thought my fans would love to see me return to this town in real life.”

Connor: “Mullen doesn’t ring a bell. Is that a role you played in a movie?”

Judith: “Close. Monica was the character who apprehended my character. In New York.”

Connor: “If she did that, Monica most likely was an FBI agent. They can operate across state boundaries. We cannot.”

Judith: “Oh.” (pause) “Of course I knew that! But you didn’t see it fit to inform your audience about that! Really, must we contestants do your job now, too?”

Judith: “But, tell you what, Connor! Everything is forgiven, and we should really highlight the nice things in front of the camera. Like your kitty-cat here.”

Connor: “That’s my familiar, Romy. She sensed my whereabouts when I got lost in Oasis Springs recently and alterted my friends to my situation!”

Judith: “Oha! So our adorable little municipal cop got lost not just in Strangerville, but in Oasis Springs in Africa. Like mentor, like student, hm? I got that from you!”

Connor: “I... give up.”

#letsinvestigate #sims4 dbh gameplay #the sims 4 #simblr #sims 4 #letsinvestigateEP2 #LIJudithWard #LIConnorArcherAnderson #LIRomy

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

for the 'why wouldn't date them'

charles, hawkeye, trapper

and i think you might be into twin peaks? if so, dale cooper and donna hayward

whichever ones you want to do :)

Ahhhhhh omg thank you for all of these I want to do them ALL but let's go backwards.

Donna Hayward

Ok so the thing is I AM into Twin Peaks but it's been a while since I've seen it and I tried to watch The Return but I was too stupit to understand much less enjoy it :( sowwy. So I would be dating my own flawed incomplete interpretation of a person, really. Typical Twin Peaks. 

Anyways I love Donna! I think we have similar personalities and stuff. In all brutal honesty I think if I were in her situation with a friend like Laura I’d have done similar things. Also yeah maybe her actions did lead a man to suicide but that was NOT her fault. I think the only three things that would prevent an attempt at a relationship here are 

1) The obvious. Her taste in men = atrocious. In all the rest of these hypotheticals where the character is already canonically in a relationship or has feelings for another character I’m just like yeah the more the merrier but if Donna insists on inviting her insufferable ass boyfriend into the mix I could NOT fucking do it I’m sorry. 

2) This girl is not ready for a relationship yet after All That god damn. But then again neither am I so maybe that balances out. We would need to spend some time as support group buddies just hugging and crying a lot before even considering a date. 

3) It is unlikely we would ever interact as I am never setting foot in that town ever in my life are you kidding me. Donna is super pretty in both her incarnations but I’m sorry I don’t think any pussy pops severely enough for me to risk going to fucking doorknob hell or some shit.

Dale Cooper

Ignore everything I said in that last paragraph. I change my mind. I forgot my beautiful autism creature husband is here. I would risk it all for a date with Dale Cooper and so would all who know and perceive the truth. AND he’s got two hot girlfriends with him at least one of whom is ALSO an autism creature??? Sign me the FUCK up for this polycule IMMEDIATELY. “Oh but OP what about the horrors” I don’t even fucking care it’s fine. Dale can have little an evil doppelganger. As a treat.

Still there are some problems:

1) Dale is an FBI agent and Harry is a cop. Booooooo!!!! But maybe if Annie and Caroline and I unionize we can force them to quit their jobs. 

2) Unclear if I would be forced to join the Black Lodge Horror Vision Rotation along with Annie and Caroline. Boring and time consuming task and unlike Laura you don’t even get to do a Big Scream.

3) I personally actually don’t like pie or coffee at all :( I’m sorry babygirl I understand if this is a deal breaker. 

Trapper McIntyre 

You know that “golden retriever boyfriend” joke? Trapper is like THE golden retriever boyfriend to me. Which I mean as an absolute compliment! Golden retrievers are friendly, helpful, adorable, lovable dogs. I am always up to pet a golden retriever.

But the thing is, I would never get one myself. They’re just a bit too big, bit too much energy, bit too messy, and anyways I prefer cats. No hate, no judgment, just a series of tiny preferences. Not into jocks, not into casual no-strings-attached type relationships, not super into kids, you know how it is. Boring and petty answer but I just feel like this adorable happy-go-lucky goldie deserves the PERFECT forever home and obviously he’s one of the most popular of all the dogs at the Mashblr shelter so I know he’ll get adopted super fast. So I can turn my attention to the miserable ass overbred old cat in the corner <3

Hawkeye Pierce

Oh, Hawkeye. I just don’t think so. Idk what’s wrong with me but I have to work to see Hawkeye as like. A dateable entity in my mind. He’s our little scrunkly! It’d be weird to date a scrunkly. BUT maybe I’ve just been overexposed to him purely by dint of being in the fandom he’s the main character of, because objectively I DO find Mr. Alda’s portrayal of him in certain scenes to be Attractive (TM), and seeing clips of his charisma and charm and humor and all that good handsome stuff is literally what got me to check out the show in the first place! Man. What happened. Hmm. 

I think one issue is that scenes where he’s explicitly trying to be Romantic and/or Seductive have just never done it for me. Like comparing Hawkeye’s lovey scenes with Kyung Soon to Charles’ with Martine, there’s no contest in how they make me feel. To me, Hawkeye is honestly at his most appealing when he’s radiating Friend Energy, which is why his casual relationships actually work really well IMO; you feel like he’s truly a great pal to the nurses he hooks up with. This is also, I think, one of Piercintyre’s great strengths as a ship, because Hawkeye and Trapper both have amazing Friend Energy and then their natural compatibility makes that bleed seamlessly into sweet romantic vibes. And to be clear I would LOVE to be in a Friends To Lovers relationship too but unfortunately I am cringely obsessed with loveydovey romance in a way I’m not sure Hawkeye is even capable of. Plus there’s also just the fact that I’m a shy waiting til marriage person and I suck at banter and yeah it’s just not working. In conclusion neither Hawkeye nor Trapper should date me they should date each other!! But we knew that :P

THAT CUNT

There are 10000000 reasons not to date Charles. But I will be doing it anyways ^_^ Peace and love on planet earth <3

Anyways I’m not bringing up his Problematicness as a reason here because I didn’t bring it up for anyone else and nobody noticed, so why should it be any different with him. Like no obviously I would not date this dumbfuck racist but I also would not date a guy who thinks it’s a funny prank to make a woman think she’s being sexually assaulted. I also for that matter would not date a guy who works with the dumbfuck racist and is like aw, ya know what, he’s not that bad really :) the second they have a chance to have a bonding moment. I guess I have decided to be a buzzkill about that forever now btw sorry :( oh well 

But ok no real talk I would Not date Charles unless one very specific condition is met, which is that I have whatever magic stardust they sprinkled on his single-episode love interests before they put them in the story that made him be utterly besotted with them, because more than any other character on the show, it seems, the difference between Regular Charles and Charles In Love is so hysterically huge??? Like fuck. My dudes. We’ve done it. We found the one villain who actually does do a complete 180 and starts trying to act right as soon as a girl takes pity on him enough to look at him twice. (Disclaimer: I haven’t seen Ain’t Love Grand yet I’m sorryyyyyyyy) He’s so ~romantic~ and it’s like catnip to me unfortunately. :\ The total opposite of what I said about Hawkeye up there. Offers a girl his stupid little teacup and recites poetry at her. Unbelievable. Did anyone ever think about the fact that maybe I would like to be offered a teacup and recited poetry at. No. You all only think about yourselves.  

Like even though objectively the way he nukes his relationship with Martine was hurtful to both of them, he’s so Tender the whole time it’s insane. She turned him into her pauvre petit miaou miaou overnight. I want that power so fucking bad I NEED that power so fucking bad. Say it with me everyone. I Could Fix Him. (”But OP Martine and Donna DIDN’T fix him he still left them both and never mentioned them again?” Yes but don’t worry they were just loosening the lid on his jar a little bit. I’ll get him open you’ll see. He’s gonna be soooo well trained when I’m done I’ll make him apologize to Maxwell and everything. He won’t even need the shock collar after a few weeks.)

But yeah if I have to like, try to appeal to him on my own it’s not fucking happening. I have no desire to hear the equivalent of a DOS deepfake hologram that has become evil due to being trained on text scraped from youtube comments tell me I’m ugly and stupid, which is exactly what would happen. Up til now I’ve sidestepped the issue that I do not think any of these people would give me the time of day (except Maxwell who would take pity on me probably because he is sososo Good) but I cannot ignore how much Charles just would Not like me. I don’t know how the selfshipper community does it they’re braver than any fucking US marine over there fr. Charles would look at me like I was a gross little bug on the ground and I can’t escape it. Oh well. Who needs him. Where’s your sister you dipshit I’m about to GET IT

#THANK YOU for this kind ask beloved mutual!! Sorry it got long and weird it's been a rough week and I'm afraid that may have bled through #to all these answers which I'm so irritated at myself for but I can't fix it OTL #Starky loves answering questions #majorbaby #I LOVE when people notice what fandoms I'm in it makes me so happy thank youuuu #anyways DOS leading romantic hero of all time but nobody ever let him fucking BE one. humanity deserves to be driven to extinction for this #wtf is ''You give the longest compliments I've ever heard'' ''Then let me be more succinct [adorable kiss]'' BITCH I'M GOING TO KILL YOU #WHAT IF I WANTED A LITTLE KISS HMM!!!!!!! WHAT THEN!!!!!!! #Anyways I used to get so sad knowing my favorite characters wouldn't like me. Cried alone in my room over it as a kid. #Now it's just like whatever. Join the club. #Anyways I LOVE how DOS' insanely amazing ability to sell those one-episode romances better than any other main cast member #inadvertently makes Charles seem uniquely susceptible to falling in love at first sight and being an embarrassing little hopeless romantic #which is an absolutely hysterical trait to give your rude brooding misanthropic antagonist #''I hate everyone in the world and they are all beneath me #except for this random girl I met yesterday who is Everything to me I love her SO much <3<3<3'' #SEE. LITERALLY A GUY FROM AN X READER ''I CAN FIX HIM'' FIC. #Actually in my experience most X Reader types are fairly uninterested in fixing the him in question despite all the bad press they get #like at most they only care that the Him is nice to THEM and sometimes not even that #like I'm sure this is a phenomenon IRL but it's really not there much in the kinds of fanfiction #that everyone blames for causing said IRL phenomenon #I know this because I AM an I Can Fix Him person! And I'd be the one to find Fixing Him content if it existed! #for me it's only fun if there's fixing involved tbh. I don't want a Mafia Boss Wattpad BF that's not fun. #that's literally just a guy being mean to you. do we not get enough of that IRL. I want a little project!!! #these tags are one giant red flag for me as a person but you should have known I was unsalvageable the second I begged off a date with Trap #NOT the behavior of a mentally well person #mash

[crazy-walls]

Okay, ship questions for Skinny & young Cotta! 5, 10 (just pretend they actually live together at some point I guess? xD), 13, 26 and, because I'm me, 38? 💕

5 Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes? Skinny probably calls Cotta a grump, Langweiler (wenn er sich mal wieder nicht auf was Illegales einlassen will) und ähnliches ^^ Cotta might call him a menace/Lamdplage on occasion, but that's about it (positive affirmations are more important but we surely know damn well that Skinny will NOT deal with any kind of "common" cutesy nickname)

10 Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public? they both drive, depending on where they're going and which car is better for the situation. but usually Cotta is more fine with letting someone else drive than Skinny is. Cotta definitely cooks, somehow I don't think Skinny can do much more than make toast, eggs & bacon. maaaaybe some pancakes. He's fine with cutting vegetables and stuff tho so that's his role now. I think the handiwork is shared too, each one has their part - Skinny can do stuff like plumbing (...don't ask about the plumbing issues in Little Rampart...) and it turns out he's not half bad putting together anything with wood & a hammer. Cotta usually prefers things like sanding & painting the outer walls and window frames etc. Skinny only cleans under threat, that boy is an utter mess - cleaning up the kitchen is actually alright, but anything else? Nope. So Cotta mostly does it (& tries to get Skinny to help. often fails, tho). Okay, the bills. Technically I'd say Cotta again because he does have a stable income and I kinda doubt he'd feel comfortable with knowing the money that's paying for groceries or something is from Skinny's illegal stuff. BUT. As funny as Skinny might find his own "got me a sugar daddy" comments, he'd actually hate being dependant on someone else - I simply cannot see that. So he'll figure something out to pitch in (and also finally put a bit of money to the side after Caroline has a serious talk with him). Aaaaand I don't think Skinny should not be left to handle anyone really, so Cotta once more xD

13 What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up? once they get their shit together and find a place where they won't be seen immediately, they figure out they actually quite like going to bars together and listen to the music there, go to small rock concerts occasionally and maybe Skinny could even convince him to go ride a motorbike, even if Cotta feels ridiculous at the mere thought of sitting behind Skinny on a bike because Skinny's the only one of them with a license for that (and Caroline, but she would make even more fun of him so she can't come). Other than that, I can actually see them going to shooting ranges for fun (and no, Skinny, breaking & entering is NOT "something fun to switch things up")

26 How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families? okay. here me out. Skinny can be quite charming if he wants to - he wins over Caroline with his usual snark cause she actually thinks he's hilarious, but somehow he accidentally also befriends Monique because just maybe she makes him a bit flustered and all he knows how to react in this case (other than lashing out/pulling lots of shit) is being charming but usually that's all an act, with her it somehow feels almost natural tho? and he doesn't know how he suddenly basically has a little sister and her girlfriend on his side and also why would either of them actually like him? (Not talking about Cotta's friends here as to avoid spoilers, sorry ^^) Dylan... is not thrilled. Not At All. he's basically like "first of all, that dude could play a Hallmark movie cop he's so nice. secondly, he's a COP. what the FUCK is wrong with you?!" soo yeah, for the first months he's convinced Skinny is either fucking with him entirely too convincingly or Cotta fucked out the last of Skinny's braincells Skinny is exclusively thinking with his downstairs brain. he'll remain sceptical for a long time but maybe he'll witness Cotta standing up for Skinny in a real bad situation or something and he'll slowly admit that just maybe he was wrong and just maybe that dude isn't so bad after all. Skinny still has no braincells left though.

38 What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do? I think they're actually pretty versatile? not in regards to switching, but as in they can take their time and be all slow and surprisingly soft with each other, but neither is opposed to it being rough and rushed either - entirely depends on the situation. there's not much that Skinny isn't willing to at least try (except for getting tied up with a belt. or anything else with a belt, really.) and he's definitely into "riskier" stuff (yes, under different circumstances you could have gotten your bar bathroom sex scene, happy? xD). he also enjoys that Cotta is stronger than him cause he probably could pick him up (more great options!) and it's fun to fight for dominance. him more or less accidentally choking Cotta a lil is actually something Cotta finds himself to be surprisingly into, whoops, and just maybe he will eventually have that Oh shit knife to the throat is kinda hot moment too (two things that go great with his job. fantastic.). also, that man basically comes with built-in handcuffs, that's like, the second-best part of the job in Skinny's opinion! Cotta absolutely refuses to even acknowledge Skinny's oh-so-funny suggestions about gunplay though. also, no sex between the cars on the parking lot of the police station, thank you very much.

ship ask

#die drei fragezeichen #skinny norris #young cotta #skinny/young cotta #thank you so very much 😘 #ask game #idk i like the idea of skinny accidentally aquiring a little sister (and a big one too? idk how old monique is #in this au but she doesn't feel like a little sister. at least not to skinny.) #warum wusste ich beim letzten schon worums geht bevor ich die frage gelesen hab? xD #who knows how many more oh shit thats kinda hot moments cotta might have xD #also why is this not showing up in the tags again??

[dollycas]

Special Guest Joanna Campbell Slan - Author of Paint Can Kill: Cara Mia Delgatto Mystery Series #GuestPost / #Giveaway @JoannaCampbellSlan @JCSlan

Paint Can Kill: Cara Mia Delgatto Mystery Series by Joanna Campbell Slan I am delighted to welcome Joanna Campbell Slan back to Escape With Dollycas today! How Authors Beget Authors By Joanna Campbell Slan I’m teaching my son to write cozies. Michael is a huge reader with a creative mind. He’s got a great idea for a series, and he’s a terrific writer. Besides, this is a fun project for the two of us. In fact, each time I talk with him, I think of Caroline Todd and how she wrote with her son, Charles. Together, they were the author “Charles Todd,” quite a dynamic duo. And now Caroline has passed. I find myself looking for her at conferences. Gosh. That’s a lesson. Always take the time to chat with people you like, no matter how busy you are. None of us know how much time we have. Today my son asked me about clues. “How can my protagonist find a clue that the cops wouldn’t see?” That’s a good question, isn’t it? I explained that on occasion, cops overlook clues. I attended a lecture by a woman whose company cleaned up after tragic accidents. (Translation: She came in after a violent murder or a suicide.) She told our group she once found teeth jammed into a ceiling tile. The victim had put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. The cops and forensics crew had searched for clues, but they’d neglected to look…UP. I also pointed out that an amateur sleuth might have access to information that the professionals don’t have or can’t get or aren’t aware of. For example, tomorrow there’ll be an Easter egg hunt in my son’s neighborhood. His wife is in charge. I asked my son if the neighbors had a special Facebook group to plan these events. Or did they have an email list they shared? Or some other way of communicating? These are avenues the police would not necessarily know about unless someone told them. Even if they did find out, they would have to get the necessary permissions whereas a person who was part of the group would be privy to that information immediately. My son is quickly getting the hang of this. “Oh, yeah,” he said. “Agatha Christie doesn’t even tell the reader all the clues she’s gathering, does she? At least, not until the end?” See? I told you he’s a smart kid. One day when he’s 80 books into his career, I can imagine him teaching his son, my grandson, these same skills. Isn’t that a wonderful thought? Thank you, Joanna, for visiting today. Excited to see what your son writes! ____ Keep reading for info about PAINT CAN KILL, and Joanna. About Paint Can Kill Paint Can Kill: Cara Mia Delgatto Mystery Series Cozy Mystery 9th in Series Setting - Hobe Sound, FL Publisher ‏ : ‎ Spot On Publishing (December 15, 2023) Paperback ‏ : ‎ 252 pages ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8870813547 Digital ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0CLYY79CV It's raining outside, and it's raining inside. Hey, that's Florida. But as sassy entrepreneur Cara Mia Delgatto watches a van full of Highwayman paintings walk out the front door of The Treasure Chest--because the collection's owner is taking them back--she's crying on the inside all the way to the bank. There will be no quick fix for this. Instead Cara focuses on an outstanding bill. When she visits the wealthy woman who has stiffed her, Cara stumbles over another stiff, a dead body. With multiple crisises in her business life, Cara grieves the loss of her live-in love and her rescue Chihuahua. The man and the dog have left a huge hole in her heart. Will Cara survive all these losses? - Cara Mia Delgatto Mystery Series is a clean read - Features a female amateur sleuth and her friends - Includes Florida lore and history - Shares ideas for upcycling, recycling, and repurposing - Celebrates friends, family, and fur babies Great Escapes Praise for Paint Can Kill: Cara Mia Delgatto Mystery Series by Joanna Campbell Slan I so enjoyed traveling to Florida in Paint Can Kill: Cara Mia Delgatto Mystery Series by Joanna Campbell Slan. The mystery is solid and the pacing is excellent. A truly enjoyable read. ~Sarah Can't Stop Reading Books Bottom Line: Paint Can Kill by Joanna Campbell Slan is an engaging and layered story with likable characters and complex mysteries. Twists, turns, and red herrings await readers in this charming cozy mystery, and you may find yourself craving a peaceful cottage on the coast after reading it! ~Reading Is My SuperPower About Joanna Campbell Slan Joanna is a New York Times Bestselling, USA Today Bestselling, and Amazon Bestselling author as well as a woman prone to frequent bursts of crafting frenzy, leaving her with burns from her hot glue gun and paint on her clothes. And the mess? Let’s not even go there. Otherwise, Joanna’s a productive author with more than 80 written projects to her credit. Her non-fiction work includes how to books, a college textbook for public speakers, and books of personal essays (think Chicken Soup for the Soul). Currently, she writes six fiction series: The Kiki Lowenstein Mystery Series (Agatha Award Finalist, contemporary, St. Louis setting, crafting), the Cara Mia Delgatto Mystery Series (contemporary, Florida setting, DIY, and recycling), the Jane Eyre Chronicles (Daphne du Maurier Award Winner, 1830s England, based on Charlotte Brontë’s classic), the Sherlock Holmes Fantasy Thrillers (late 1800s, based on Arthur Conan Doyle’s books), the Tai Chi Mystery Series (featuring a mature female amateur sleuth!) and the Friday Night Mystery Series (set in Decatur, IL in 1986 with a spunky female heroine.) A former TV talk show host, college teacher, and public relations specialist, Joanna was one of the early Chicken Soup for the Soul contributors. She won a Silver Anvil for her work on the original FarmAid concert to benefit farmers. In her ongoing quest never to see snow again, Joanna lives with her husband and their Havanese puppy, Jax, on an island off the coast of Florida. You can email her at [email protected] or visit her website at https://linktr.ee/jcslan Author Links Newsletter sign-up     Street Team sign-up Website —   Facebook —  Facebook Group —   Twitter/X —   Amazon Author Page — Instagram — Goodreads — Bookbub — LinkedIn — Pinterest Purchase Link Amazon  The Rest of the Series Find all books written by Joanna Campbell Slan HERE TOUR PARTICIPANTS - Please visit all the stops.  April 8 – Mystery, Thrillers, and Suspense – SPOTLIGHT April 8 – Teatime and Books – SPOTLIGHT April 8 – Maureen's Musing – SPOTLIGHT April 9 – FUONLYKNEW – SPOTLIGHT April 9 – Sarah Can't Stop Reading – REVIEW April 10 – Ascroft, eh? – CHARACTER GUEST POST April 10 – Reading Is My SuperPower – REVIEW April 11 – Celticlady's Reviews – SPOTLIGHT April 11 – Sneaky the Library Cat's blog – CHARACTER INTERVIEW April 11 – Escape With Dollycas Into A Good Book – AUTHOR GUEST POST April 12 – Christy's Cozy Corners – AUTHOR GUEST POST April 12 – Literary Gold – AUTHOR INTERVIEW April 13 – Guatemala Paula Loves to Read – CHARACTER GUEST POST April 14 – Maureen's Musing – SPOTLIGHT April 14 – StoreyBook Reviews – AUTHOR GUEST POST a Rafflecopter giveaway Have you signed up to be a Tour Host? Click Here to Find Details and Sign Up Today! Want to Book a Tour? Click Here Your Escape Into A Good Book Travel Agent Read the full article

[bigassbowlingballhead]

Vampire Diaries

OH I haven't thought about tvd in ages

My rating (1-10): 7/10 minus 3 points for the treatment of bonnie bennett, but overall a fairly enjoyable show

My favourite character: Caroline fucking forbes. her growth, her strength, her LOVE. I'd die for caroline.

My least favourite character: Stefan. Yeah one of the leads. but god, he was so broody and complained about everything. "no one understands me" yeah we do stefan, calm your over-defined tits.

The character I think I'd be friends with: Bonnie. I'd listen to her complain about how everyone only uses her for her magic, and make sure she knew she's more than just a magical sidekick.

The character I think I won't hit off with: Matt. he's a cop (character assassination tbh)

My favourite episode/scene: Scene. When Klaus kills the hybrids in 4x09 it's such a damn good scene.

Whose clothing style I like best: That's gotta be mr tyler lockwood. He always looked so damn good

Times I watched it (and if I would again): a few times and i'd do it again.

send me a tv show!

#i should watch it again #box talk

[steely-eyedmissileman]

The Vampire Diaries, Ep. 1x08

162 Candles

now, this is a pretty good episode title. of course, i've never seen sixteen candles, so i cannot comment any further. i think they eat something sitting on a table, but that only comes from the chicken episode of community.

now to the episode: is stefan being haunted? please let him be haunted by the ghost of vicki! that would be amazing! i would love to see this plot line, where vicki could finally actually matter and influence the narrative. it'd be a bit late, but better late than never, right? wrong. stefan is not being haunted; it's just a blonde girl. she's lexi, and she's stefan's older vampire friend. (she's also really hot.) she hates damon (good taste) and wants stefan to have fun. she also thinks it's weird that he's into elena, who looks exactly like katherine (smart). she tells him that he has 'serious emotional issues,' which i replaced with the phrase 'mommy issues.'

lexi is also revealed to drink blood bags from the hospital, giving me the perfect opportunity to talk about the most ethical way to be a vampire! obviously, being damon is not it. taking blood by force and mind controlling people is considered by most philosophers to be pretty unethical. it would be great if you perhaps fell in love with someone who willingly donated their blood. however, that's fairly unlikely for any vampires who are older than a standard human. how would they know anyone who has blood? and drinking from a living human is rough either way. they likely are not able to give blood (be drunk from) on a regular enough basis to sustain a vampire. also, the power dynamics are pretty intense and don't necessarily allow for growth and change on the human's part. what about animals? well, in my opinion, this is a bit of a cop out. vampires drink human blood; they prey on humans. allowing them to drink animal blood with no consequences lessens the impact of the vampire myth. however, moving on from that, we know that there are consequences to drinking animal blood here on tvd. stefan has less access to his powers than damon does. in order to maintain his refusal to feed from innocent humans, he is kneecapping himself. i'm not going to get into the ethics of feeding off animal blood because i'm not a vegetarian, and it lies outside the scope of this argument. let's assume that feeding off animals is not the most ethical way to be a vampire. then what is?

drinking expired blood bags! the reason that there are so many blood drives for hospitals is that you cannot store human blood for very long (about 42 days, according to the red cross). hospitals don't often use all of their blood. they need blood of all types and they need large amounts of it, in case something happens. however, most of the time, there is no huge emergency, so large amounts of blood go bad every day. vampires could drink that blood, so that they can drink human blood ethically. this blood was voluntarily donated to save someone's life. it didn't get the opportunity to do that in the intended way, but it can still save someone's life by being vampire food. ta da! the most ethical way to be a vampire!

damon runs into caroline (bad). however, she does get a fabulous zinger off: 'look dungeon boy.' then i hallucinated that caroline's sweater was appearing and disappearing. damon convinces caroline to have a party at the grill. i have written 'i hope damon dies' three times in my notes for this episode. unclear what exactly the first one is referring to, but the later ones have to do with him murdering lexi who i love. also he called caroline shallow, is diabolical, and is terrible. however, he does say 'stefan smiles, alert the media,' which was pretty funny.

now, it's time to talk about bonnie! she's a witch. she's been talking to her grandmother for a couple episodes, and she's getting more powerful and more controlled quite quickly. bonnie shows this by lifting feathers from elena's pillow, 'the gayest magic!' if you get it, you get it!

now, it's time to talk about the most important part of this episode (and bonnie's story so far [i knew she would bring great things!]) bianca lawson!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have great love for bianca lawson. she famously starred as kendra the vampire slayer in buffy the vampire slayer! she was one of the many guidance counselors in teen wolf (not the worst one)! she is amazing and beautiful and i love her! she is in this episode! i spent the whole episode looking for her, waiting, with bated breath! she was only seen at the end of the episode, where it is revealed that she is the previous owner of the necklace that bonnie now wears (and that damon stashed in fuck face's house and stole during the ball).

bonnie has a dream with bianca lawson in it, who says 'it's coming.' this is incredibly ominous, and very exciting! (the main action of the dream is damon chasing bonnie... very exciting! prophetic? then bonnie wakes up in the graveyard (hopefully atop bianca lawson's grave). i am so excited!!!!!

#the vampire diaries #semmwatchlog

[mytvd]

can they fly?? is there any other way she could have been yanked vertically like that??

the zooming of the credits sent me

"i predicted obama" "can we still say 'tr*nny mess'?"

the crow on the street signs. watching. observing. the video mentioned that the crow and fog get dropped right away which is already making me so sad.

kai confuses me -- is he really making fun of jeremy for wearing nail polish?? "pete wentz (derogatory)"?? offended at the mention of carson daly?? he and jeremy look equally threatening, is kai supposed to be scarier??

the dramatic sunglasses removal made me wonder if vampires can accidentally compel people by making eye contact. or was it just to look cool

the "chill yourself" clip has been stuck in my mind since i first watched that video and seeing it in context was just ...!

why is bonnie so menacing in that shot????

i'm uneasy seeing pretty much all of these people inside a high school. i have consumed ridiculous amounts of high school media but this is really pushing it

"HAWT-E" lmao

i haven't looked into anything about the production at all but this looks like a really high-budget episode for the first season of any show, especially a teen paranormal romance

that crow noise as she enters the cemetery LMAOOOOO

literally lol'd at [i assume damon] standing by that statue. whoever came up with that shot really ate that day

does elena think "hitchcock" is the movie title

the crow sounds keep startling my cat

there's no way she wouldn't have felt that injury lol

is this the same background music from pll??

matt looks old enough to be kai's dad at this restaurant. no offense to this actor irl -- he just looks tired and his skin looks very dehydrated (vs kai's v moisturized face). why didn't they oil up this man and try another take

"when's the last time you had sex with a puppy?"

i thought it was gonna turn out that elena was lying to jenna, she is dressed for a much different occasion than her friends are

"her mom and dad died" i wonder how many more times this will get stated in this episode (edit: even more than i thought)

it looks like stefan is on a date with all three of them

i had to rewatch this scene because of the background kate bush. i didn't want it to be a cover but wow. the hits!!!

i stan this wardrobe full of diaries!!!

why is this teacher such an asshole

i don't think i ever learned about this kind of hyperlocal town history in school at any point (i also went to a small town southern public high school). i realize it's there for our benefit but lol it seems weird. what actual class is this where on day 2 of school they are learning this information??

mr. tanner quickly became even more of an asshole jfc

why is the closeup of stefan's nose pores comforting to me? (it's bc everyone is airbrushed now)

i love how supportive elena is of bonnie's psychic abilities

elena is v committed to cradling that empty solo cup

where is this?? i know they said "the falls" and i assumed this pavilion in the woods was maybe someone's private property but the bridge with the lights?? where are they lol

holy shit vicki

this is a much fancier woods party spot than the woods party spot i went to in high school. or the cow pasture spot. there are so many coolers, cans, bottles, etc, but no visible litter. wild

how is nobody calling 911 lol like why are all these kids just standing around staring as if nothing has happened?? they would be, at the very least, milling about

the zooms are non-stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have never seen so many zooms. slow zooms. fast zooms. credit zooms.

i know there are things like civil war flashbacks but i would love a 90s one of stefan in his "grunge look"

jenny called damon "an eyebrow heavy performance" and yeah

i can't believe jeremy is drinking a beer while there are cops in the frame???

i hope we find out more about the competition caroline believes she is in with elena

the fray. i'm time traveling

stefan wanted to "be someone new" so he returned to his small hometown, under his real name, to live in his family home??

i know that almost everyone in a movie/tv show playing a teen or young adult is older than their character but again this show is really pushing my suspension of disbelief re: damon making eye contact with caroline. in this shot just having him facing the camera instead of showing his profile and using less harsh lighting would have done wonders to not make me viscerally react to him flirting with a teenager.

elena in front of this giant un-curtained window in the dark on the cw is so pll

from the video i know the stefan is "seventeen" but i wonder if katherine was also seventeen?? or maybe katherine is older than the brothers, in apparrant age & actual age? i just had the thought, "if stefan is only here to check out elena, why couldn't he have waited until she graduated high school to meet her?" which made me think, "at what point in her physical development would it become clear that she is a doppleganger of katherine? like how young?" there is no enjoyment for me in trying to pick apart the age disparity ethics of vampire teens dating human teens so i am disregarding that for this entire show but the doppleganger thing is weird to me

just remembered from the vpd video that queen bianca lawson is on this show, just like she was on contemporary PLL and predecessor BTVS. the eternal teenager

i was committed to only watching one episode tonight but the next episode is called "the night of the comet." fuck

#the vampire diaries #tvd 01x01 #vampire diaries