In a very sleepy but can’t sleep kind of mood so I candled Amethyst’s 4 remaining eggs. Only 3 appear viable. I’m grateful to have any good eggs at all considering what poor Mama Amethyst went through.
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fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.
hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.
hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy
hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it
hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently
hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love
horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho
having to explain to the tire guy that yes I did drive around with a unfixable nail in my tire with only 6 pounds of air at some point for an entire month because i didn't want to pay for a new one. i drove 6 hrs away from home and back with a flat and did not go broke on the side of the road because my car is super nice to me btw and he loves me