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#can't believe i still want to go to grad school
roosterforme · 3 months
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The Intern Part 3 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley had an easy way about him that you appreciated. Working for him all summer sounded promising, and you were determined to make it fun for both of you. But as you dipped your toes into getting to know one another on the flights from San Diego to Lisbon, you ended up closer to him than you ought to be, both conversationally and physically.
Warnings: Language, brief mention of drugs (eventually 18+)
Length: 4900 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
The Intern masterlist. Check out my masterlist for more. Banner by @mak-32
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"I still can't believe someone is paying me fifty thousand dollars to spend my summer on a yacht," you mused as the private Cessna jet gained altitude over the California desert landscape. 
Bradley turned and looked at you from his plush leather seat across the narrow aisle and smirked. "You needed the money that badly?"
"Don't play games," you told him, and he laughed. "My point is, I would have done this for free just to get Ted off my back."
His fingers tightened a bit on his armrest, knuckles growing white as he closed his eyes and said, "Now you tell me. My department budget could be looking a lot fatter right now if it wasn't for you."
You could feel the airplane leveling out as the flight attendant, a woman named Melissa, stood and made her way back toward the two of you. "Oh please," you groaned, earning one of those grins from him that made you feel light inside. "I know how much the shareholders make, Mr. Bradshaw. It's not like it's not listed on the Nasdaq Composite if you dig deep enough."
"Can I get anything for either of you?" Melissa asked. 
"I'll take an Old Fashioned, please. Hold the cherries," you replied while Bradley just shook his head in a jerky motion.
When Melissa disappeared behind the black curtain, you asked, "Why are you so tense? Have a drink and relax."
He huffed out a laugh. "It's eight in the morning. A drink is not going to help me."
You leaned a little closer, and his gaze definitely dipped down to your unzipped sweatshirt. "Don't tell me you're into something harder?" you asked, already thinking you'd be disappointed by his answer. You'd been there and done that. Hung out with and dated guys who were users, and it was not something you wanted to be around. Even out of your sorority sisters, there were only a handful who weren't high all week during grad school.
Bradley looked at you with alarm. "I'm absolutely not going to allow drugs on the yacht, Ivy League."
"Good," you replied right away, already feeling more at ease as Melissa dropped off your cocktail. "Thank you."
But she was looking at Bradley now as she said, "Please let me know if I can get you... anything."
He waved her off as you took a sip of your mediocre cocktail. Melissa had gone a little heavy handed with the bitters, probably because she was too focused on your hot boss to measure things correctly. "Take a sip," you told him, reaching across the aisle with your glass. "You look like you need it."
He grunted and accepted the drink, and a few seconds later, he had downed the whole thing. "Thanks," he whispered. "I hate this part of traveling to Europe for Avio. The flights are going to take forever."
You narrowed your eyes at him and took back your empty glass while he white knuckled the armrest again. "You were an aviator, Mr. Bradshaw."
When he looked at you again, his cheeks were a little flushed as he softly said, "You don't have to call me that. Bradley is fine." 
"Bradley," you said with a smile, and his face softened a little bit. "Why don't you like the Cessna? I mean, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't also hoping for something at least a little more luxurious from Avio, but it's not that bad."
He shook his head at you, something you were pretty sure you were just going to have to get used to for the summer. But his mustache twitched as he licked his lips and said, "Maybe chartered flights are normal for you, Ivy League, but I got used to being the pilot. Of something much less comfortable than a Cessna Hemisphere. So this just feels inherently wrong to me. I mean, I just drank a cocktail."
"Inhaled," you corrected. "And technically it was my cocktail," you said, waving to Melissa and holding up the glass and two fingers.
"Semantics," he grunted. "I miss my Super Hornet right now. Not only were there no drinks, there wasn't even a bathroom."
You watched Melissa duck behind the curtain again, probably to forget how to make a cocktail again. "Well, we'll be there soon," you told Bradley.
"I doubt these pilots can do Mach 2, so not fast enough for me."
You sighed, knowing this would probably be a lot easier for him if you could get him to drink a second Old Fashioned, but when Melissa dropped two more of them off, they were both garnished with a cherry. "I asked you to hold the cherries."
"Oh, yes. Sorry," Melissa muttered. "I can remove it for you."
"I'm allergic, so I'll actually need you to remake mine," you replied, and Bradley started to hand his back as well.
"Remake hers, and mine too," he grunted, suddenly looking far less nervous about the flight as he made to stand up. "Fresh glasses and everything. I don't want cherries anywhere near her." You looked up at him in surprise as he kind of rolled his eyes and followed Melissa. "I'll make sure she does it right," he whispered, and you watched him walk up to the curtain, as confident as he usually was.
"Thanks," you replied, even though nobody was there to hear you now. Well, he had promised he'd do everything he could to keep you safe and comfortable. You watched as he crossed his arms over his broad chest, and you pressed your lips together. That blue Oxford shirt was the exact best color he could possibly wear, and you wondered if he knew it or if it was an accident that he chose it.
When he met your eyes, you didn't look away. You didn't really care if he knew you were checking him out. Until you did. Because when he walked back with two new drinks, you realized how little you knew about him. "Here," he grunted, voice deep and raspy. Then he clinked his glass to yours before sinking back into the aisle seat opposite yours again and buckling his seatbelt once more. 
"Thanks for doing that."
He smiled at you. "Can't lose my intern on her first day. Especially since I've never had one before."
You perked up, loving that you'd cornered the market. "I'm your first intern?"
"Yeah." He was back to downing his drink and looking miserable now, practically throwing the empty glass aside in favor of gripping the armrest. Abandoning your drink after one sip, you stood and stepped over his outstretched legs, his eyes following your every move as you eased yourself down into the window seat next to him. "You okay?" he asked, looking a little amused now that you were just inches away from him.
"I am, but you're not," you told him with an air of authority. "Just relax," you added as you took his hand from the armrest and held it in both of yours. His brown eyes went a little wider, and his lips parted like he wanted to say something. Probably question what you were doing. But you said, "You'll feel better in a few minutes," as you worked your thumbs along the pressure points in his big, rough palm. And then he closed his eyes and without a word, he leaned back in his seat with his hand cradled in yours. Soon he was sound asleep.
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Bradley woke up to an almost pleasant humming sound all around him. His hand was warm and wrapped up in something soft, and when he opened his eyes, your face was just a few inches from his as you slept. His body thrummed with something akin to desire as you pursed your haughty lips in your sleep, long lashes grazing your perfect cheeks. 
Shit. His hand was resting on your body, fingers tangled up with yours and wrapped in your designer hoodie. His knuckles were pressed to the soft skin which was exposed between your high waisted pants and your damn sports bra. And based on the way the plane was started to descend, he'd taken a five fucking hour nap all cuddled up with his intern. With Ted's goddamn daughter.
Hands off. He'd been telling himself to keep his hands off of you, and just a few hours in, he was literally doing the exact opposite. But you'd been sweet to him, carefully massaging the pressure points in his hand until he was able to fall asleep. You must have drifted off then, too. And now he was loath to remove his hand from your body or look away from you.
He needed another fucking drink. Or several. He leaned carefully over you, and sure enough, he could see the New York skyline coming into view through the small window. And he could smell your perfume. And that was when you opened your eyes, immediately sitting up a few inches and nearly bumping noses with him.
"Sorry," he grunted. "I was just trying to see where we were."
"Where are we?" you asked, your voice soft and a little rough from sleep. Jesus, he liked the way that sounded. 
"Almost to New York. Want me to ask the pilot to circle back to Philly so you can wave to your alma mater?"
You laughed and sat up a little more, arching your back, but you didn't immediately let go of him. "No, thank you. I've only been gone for a week, so I'm sure the City of Brotherly Love is enjoying this break."
Bradley found himself continually laughing at your words, but now you were looking at his hand all linked with yours, so he started to pull his free. You didn't stop him, and when you looked up at him, you even asked, "Did you sleep okay?"
He nodded his head once. "I did. Thank you. For making me feel better."
You sat up the rest of the way and stretched, and he had to look away as you said, "A good intern is good at everything."
Your words weren't dirty, so why the hell were his thoughts? He should be trying to find out more about your father, not imagining you wearing a fluffy white bathrobe while you drank an Old Fashioned sans cherry next to his bed. He was miles away in his mind when the plane touched down on the runway before taxiing to the refueling spot. His stomach was growling wildly now as Melissa walked back and offered them a very late lunch. 
"I didn't want to interrupt anything," she said, looking between you and Bradley like the two of you had been all over each other. When she turned away to get the salads and sandwiches ready, you climbed over him to use the bathroom, and Bradley watched you ignore a phone call as you went. He also realized that he'd have to tread very carefully around potential clients over the next few weeks. It was one thing for Melissa to make a comment like that, but it would be something entirely different if a line like that got back to Ted.
While the plane was refueled and the pilots switched places for the longer flight from New York to Portugal, you and he ate in companionable silence. You'd returned to your seat across the aisle, and you ignored another call before tucking your phone away in your bag. Bradley also used this time to drink a gin and tonic in the hopes he'd be able to sleep again, slightly afraid you wouldn't join him on his side of the aisle to make him feel cozy again. 
"We'll be taking off again in five minutes," Melissa informed him as she cleared away the meal and brought pillows and blankets. Your phone was out again now, and you ignored yet another call as Bradley shook his head.
"Are you going to keep me up at all hours of the night on the yacht yelling at your little boyfriend on the phone?"
You scoffed and looked right at him as you said, "I don't date little boys. Are you going to keep me up calling your wife and kids back in San Diego?"
He didn't want to laugh at the way you talked to him and kept him on his toes. He also registered that the way you'd let him hold your hand while he slept had only come from a platonic place if you were just now asking if he was married. "I don't have a wife or kids."
"Why not?" you asked, leaning on your armrest with your tits smashed together. "You could be married. If you wanted. You're tall and you have all your hair."
"Are those the only prerequisites?" he asked, trying not to look anywhere other than at your face. God, your little bikinis were going to be the absolute death of him if he didn't get fucking laid soon.
"No," you replied without missing a beat. "You're smart, too. Handsome. Tons of money. And you seem nice. Good manners. You make me laugh. Seems like someone would have snapped you up off the market by now."
His cheeks felt warm again as he tried to figure out how to answer. You'd just complimented him nine different ways, and he was reeling a bit. "Because I was in the Navy. Nobody in their right mind would trust a Navy guy with that level of commitment."
"Why not?"
"They lie and they cheat," he said, repeating the lines women had been telling him since he was twenty two. "Nobody you'd want to settle down with."
But you didn't look convinced as your smile tilted a little higher on one side. "Are you a cheater?"
He knew somehow he wouldn't get away with speaking anything but the plain truth to you from here on out. "No."
"I didn't think so." You looked satisfied as you settled back in your seat, about to snuggle under your blanket. The sky was a little darker now, and there was nothing below except for the Atlantic Ocean. 
He had a slight buzz from the gin, and he felt a lot better than he had earlier this morning. He reached for his bag and pulled out his laptop before crooking his finger and coaxing you back to the seat next to him. "We have a little work to do, Ivy League."
While he expected you to complain, you didn't. Rather you popped out of your seat with your pillow and blanket, climbed over him and settled in the window seat once more. "What is it?" you asked eagerly, and when he logged in to his email account, he saw something from Ted right away. Just a reminder to keep himself on track.
"I'm going to teach you a little bit about the Avio software we will be marketing, so by the time we land in Lisbon, you'll know as much as I do."
You curled up with your pillow and blanket and looked at him, your words doing more to him than you probably intended. "Don't test me, Sir, or I may end up knowing more than you."
"You're a brat."
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This time when you woke up, it wasn't to Bradley's touch or his brown eyes. This time it was to Melissa's laughter and Bradley's soft voice. "When are you flying back to the states?" she asked him as you cracked your eyes open. 
"Not any time soon," he replied smoothly. "We have a lot of work to do."
"Well I hope I'm on your flight back," she said flirtatiously as you propped your head up. 
But Bradley wasn't paying attention to her now as he turned your way. "You're up," he mused, and you just nodded, wishing you'd had time to shower or check how you looked before he saw you. "We'll be landing soon. And then we'll get you and your designer luggage to the yacht."
You watched Melissa roll her eyes at you before she stood. "I'll be right back with coffee and some breakfast."
"Hold the cherries! Please!" you reminded her, just to be obnoxious. When she pretended she didn't hear you, Bradley chuckled. "You know, it's kind of refreshing being given an attitude. Is this how you feel when I give you one?"
His eyes went a little wider. "Don't make me call your father."
"I thought you valued your intern," you replied with a smirk. "So don't make me spread that nasty little rumor around Avio that you went to the University of Bumblefuck."
"Virginia," he snorted.
"Whatever."
Melissa dropped off mugs, a carafe of coffee, cream, sugar and pastries. "No cherry," she said blandly as you reached for a blueberry muffin. 
"Much appreciated," you replied as you peeled back the wrapper and took a nibble while Bradley ate an apple danish in two bites before he poured coffee into both mugs. Clearly the two of you were hungry. You also had no idea what time it was. You had to put your phone on silent since your dad wouldn't stop calling you, even though you told him you'd talk to him when you got on the yacht.
"How do you take your coffee?" Bradley asked as you silently chewed. You went to reach for the creamer, but he pulled it away and looked at you. 
You swallowed down your muffin and said, "Cream and sugar, but you don't have to do it. I should probably be doing it for both of us."
He shrugged and got your coffee fixed up exactly the way you would have made it yourself, as he said, "You and I will be working in close proximity, and I feel like this is the kind of detail I should know."
"Well how do you take your coffee?" you asked, but he set down the cream and sugar without adding anything to his. "Black, no sugar."
"Black, no sugar," he confirmed before taking a sip. You watched the alluring scars on his neck as he swallowed, once again surprised that he wasn't married. He didn't seem as helpless as your father, but he seemed like the kind of person who should have someone warm at home when he returned from work each night. Someone to look after him. 
You took a sip of your own coffee and smiled, because it really was perfect, especially for something that was made on an aircraft. "Thank you."
"Any time," he responded, and you eased back in your seat and looked out the window as the Portuguese coastline came into view. You drank your coffee and picked at the muffin, watching as the very early morning sun made the Atlantic Ocean glitter. There were marinas filled with yachts and sailboats, and you wondered if Avio's was amongst them. 
"Were you on the yacht with my dad last year?" you mused as the plane dipped lower in the sky.
Bradley set his mug down, and maybe it was just you, but his features suddenly seemed a little guarded. You'd always been good at reading people, which made it easy to get a favorable response when you needed one. But he'd never looked at you this way before. "For a few days. One of my buddies from the Navy was there too. Jake Seresin."
You blinked and his expression was neutral again. "The name sounds familiar."
Bradley laughed as the plane touched down. "The face will be familiar, too. Soon enough. He's champing at the bit to get onboard for a few days here and there this summer."
You set your mug down as well and said, "Don't worry, Sir. I'll dazzle him to bits during the dinner parties."
Bradley's nostrils flared, and his pupils grew wider. "I don't doubt that."
When you laughed, he smiled before looking down at his hands. "Well, Bradley, I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get on the yacht. I wonder what kind of caviar the chef will serve for lunch."
You unbuckled your seatbelt, prompting him to do the same. "There are different kinds of caviar?" he asked, one eyebrow raised as he picked up your tote and handed it to you. 
"Don't embarrass me, Bradley. The other interns will all laugh at me behind my back."
But he just shook his head as he moved to the side and said, "After you, Ivy League." So you led the way to the front of the aircraft, thanked both pilots and Melissa, even though she clearly didn't like you, and you climbed down the stairs onto the warm tarmac. 
You shouldn't and absolutely couldn't keep reacting to Bradley the way you were, but when he placed his hand on your lower back and said, "This way," you nearly moaned. You looked up at him as he tried to guide you toward the waiting limousine. "Go climb in. I'll grab the bags."
"I can get my own bags," you insisted.
"I know you can, but you have nine hundred of them, and I'm still hungry, and I can do it faster."
"Fine," you replied, and you could feel his gaze on your back as you walked toward the driver who was holding the back door open for you. "Thank you." As you slid across the leather seat, you watched Bradley effortlessly lift multiple pieces of your luggage at the same time while you bit your lip. What the hell was it about him? You couldn't quite put your finger on it, but he was enjoyable to watch. His voice made you feel a little fuzzy. He was raw and genuine like your favorite pair of well worn Levi's which were tucked away in your Dior suitcase he was carrying with one massive hand. 
You looked away. You counted to ten. You already knew this was going to be an issue, so you weren't sure why it was hitting you now. When you glanced his way again, he was bringing his own two, nondescript pieces of luggage to the limousine trunk, and then he was sliding across the seat next to you.
"Twenty minutes to the marina from here," he murmured, his hand coming to rest on the seat next to your thigh. "And then we can get to work."
You pursed your lips. "I was under the impression we would be playing, too."
He chuckled as you started to look through the compartments next to the seat. "We can play a little bit."
You opened what turned out to be an ice chest, and ran your fingers along a bottle of chilled Dom Perignon. "We can start with this," you said, pulling it free from the ice and holding it up.
He was looking at you, not the bottle, but that little twitch of his mustache was his tell. Even though his eyes seemed stern, he held out his hand, and asked, "Think we can finish it in twenty minutes?" 
You smiled brilliantly as you handed it to him. "Don't ever ask me that again."
"Sassy," he muttered, unwrapping the foil and slowly twisting the cage loose before wiggling the cork free with his big hands until it popped. "Here you go."
"No," you insisted as the driver pulled out onto the main road. "You first. Drink to a successful summer."
Bradley nodded once and took a sip before handing you the bottle. His eyes were on your lips as you pressed them to the bottle where his had just been. "To a successful summer," he echoed, his voice a deep rumble as the city went by in a blur. You couldn't stop smiling, and neither could he, and approximately eighteen minutes later, when he helped you out of the limousine, his cheeks were flushed pink.
"Is that it?" you asked, very slowly removing your hand from his as two men rushed your way in matching gray shorts and navy polos. There was a massive yacht with Down to Business lettered across the back and Avio Technologies along the side.  
"That's it," Bradley confirmed, slipping his black sunglasses on as he reached to shake hands with the two men who introduced themselves as Antonio and Nikolai. Bradley told them your name, and they both took your hand in turn. "She's my intern for the summer," he said smoothly, and then they started to unload your luggage. 
"Let's go," you said, glancing back at Bradley as you started down toward the marina gate, and then he was right next to you again with a few long strides. "I hope you can find your Armani swim shorts quickly, because that pool is calling my name." 
"I can, actually. One of the benefits to only bringing two suitcases." He helped you over the gap, and as soon as you were on the yacht, you felt at home. You knew this was going to be the summer you needed.
"Let's go meet the captain," he murmured, his hand finding your back again. 
"Do you think he has more champagne?"
"Ivy... it's nine in the morning."
"I'm still on San Diego time."
Bradley paused for a beat while he did the math. "It's one in the morning back home."
"Exactly," you told him with a little pout that you knew wouldn't actually faze him. He just smiled as he guided you past the pool you couldn't wait to jump into and an enormous jacuzzi. You walked through a dining room that could seat twelve people and past a fully stocked bar. It was like the best offerings from your sorority house and your dad's estate all rolled into one.
"Welcome aboard!" boomed a voice with a French accent. "We've been expecting you. I'm Captain Marcell." He was probably in his sixties with gray hair and a matching beard, and he reminded you a bit of your favorite professor at UPenn.
"Pleasure," you replied, shaking his hand after Bradley told him your name.
Next to him were lined up two friendly looking women, one with short brown hair and one with long brown hair. Beatriz and Lucia, the stewardesses, would be taking care of everything you needed. And next to them was an attractive man wearing a bit of a scowl. 
"I'm Rocco. The chef. I can make anything. I don't like changing the menu at the last minute."
Oh, you liked him already as you shook his hand. And then your heart fluttered as Bradley said, "I need to speak with you about removing any cherries from the yacht before we leave the marina." 
"Cherries?" Rocco asked, scowling deeper.
Bradley glanced at you as he removed his sunglasses, and his mustache twitched. "Yes. Can't have any onboard. That applies to the kitchen and the bars. My intern has an allergy."
"I'll take care of it," Rocco replied before turning away, and you'd never been more certain that someone would take care of something in your life. Then Captain Marcell handed Bradley a folder.
"Rough itinerary. Weather report for the week. List of phone numbers. Please let me know how long you'd like to spend in each port. I can of course adjust anything as needed. Now if you will select your cabins, Antonio and Nikolai will deliver your luggage."
"Thank you," Bradley replied, handing the folder to you. "You're in charge of this. Now why don't we head down so you can choose a room?" He nodded his head toward a wide set of stairs.
You walked down to the lower deck, and once you and he were alone again, he pointed to the left. "The sooner we get settled, the sooner the swim trunks come out?" you asked softly. 
"Something like that." His soft chuckle was right behind you as you stopped at a mint green door with gold trim.
"Is this my room?" you asked, placing your hand on the doorknob. There was a little keypad next to it. 
"If you want it to be," he replied. "Or, there are three others you can choose from."
"Which one are you taking?"
His eyes flitted from your face to a spot a little further down the hallway. "White door."
When you turned to investigate, you saw a pink door directly across from that one. "Wouldn't it be easier if my room was near yours?"
"Probably." His expression was neutral, but that damn mustache was giving him away. 
"I'll take the pink one."
"Very good. I'll get the room codes from Beatriz, and I'll tell them where to deliver the luggage."
"Great," you replied, still standing close to him, but he didn't move.
"Perfect," he said, brown eyes focused on yours. The hallway was narrow, and now he was placing his hands on his trim hips, taking up even more space. "Try not to get into too much trouble while you look around."
Finally he turned toward the stairs, but you called his name right away. "Bradley?" He glanced back over his shoulder with a questioning look. "Thanks for mentioning the cherries."
"Sure," he replied easily. "I got you, Ivy." Then he was walking back up the stairs and out of sight.
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We are about to set sail. Let's get into a little trouble. Let's have a little fun. Already feeling a little tension between Bradley and Ivy League. Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
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gejo333 · 2 months
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An Unexpected Match XII
Pt. 1
DBF/DILF Miguel O’Hara x female reader
18+ Warning
Summary: What does Miguel have up his sleeve during this graduation vacation gift?🤔
OMG, I am so so so sorry that I haven’t updated in a while. I moved abroad so I’ve been adjusting these past weeks. Also this chapter is extremely long which was another reason for the delay. Another reason might be that I know this story only has a few chapters left before it’s over🥺 so I want to savor it more.
I apologize for any grammatical mistakes I missed.
Enjoy!💕
Wc: 8.5k
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Luckily you only were taking two classes for your last semester of college, as you were able to still keep high grades even though you were recovering from the accident.
Over the course of those weeks you did have to testify in court for the kidnapping and endangerment of Gabi and the attempted murder on you by Sofia. Although you kept your composure, you wouldn't deny that you were grinning from ear to ear to see her in an orange jump suite and cuffs looking miserable.
Today was your graduation and luckily you had healed enough that you weren't limping anymore and you could wear the heels you had bought months ago specifically for your graduation dress.
You looked in the mirror of the bathroom making sure your makeup, hair, and outfit stilled looked just as good as it did back at home. Though you were excited to finally get your degree with your piers your nerves were going through the roof. What you really wanted was to be at the graduation dinner with your boyfriend, daughter, brothers and best friend. You decided to still invite your parents, not being that cruel to not let them see you graduate. But you really didn't want to interact with them, which you knew sadly will not go your way. You feel bad for Miguel as he has no choice but to sit next to them. You hope your brothers were in between him and your father.
"You look fabulous!" You turned to see Stephanie as she walked into to the bathroom also wearing a dress with the cap and gown.
"You look amazing too, Steph!" You smile as you hug her before she checks herself in the mirror just like you had done. She took out her mascara she hid in her small purse as she touched up her eyelashes.
"Girl, I can't believe we're graduating! It's insane. You're going to work at Alchamex and I'm going to grad school here. Super excited for the next chapter in our lives! Especially for you girlie, I think I hear wedding bells in your near future." Stephanie smirked as she looked at you.
"First off, I don't know if I got into Alchamex yet. I should hear next week. And you really think he might propose?" Your cheeks turn pink as your smile widens to the thought of Miguel proposing.
"You're definitely getting that job. And I have this feeling. Like maybe sometime this summer he'll do it. Damn girl I don't think either one of us would have thought that one of us might be married before 25." Stephanie chuckled.
"Well, we don't know he's going to propose. But like it's not like it hasn't been talked about." You check the time on your phone as you take a deep breath before sighing nervously. "It's time to line up."
You and Stephanie line up, her one person a head of you. She turns around smiling both anxious and excited which you return before the announcer begins the commencement.
As you walked out on to the lawn and towards your seat you looked around in hopes to catch Miguel's gaze. Sadly you couldn't find him as the audience was far too large. You made it to your seat, sitting down while you listen to the speaker.
After some time had passed they finally begin to call out names as people begin to line up. Your heart begin to beat quicker as the line continues to get closer to the stage before you know it, you heard Stephanie's name being called as she walked on to the stage to receive her degree.
"Y/n L/N." Spoke out the announcer. You smiled  as you walked up on to the stage to receive your degree. The crowd cheered as they did for everyone. You hoped to have caught a glimpse of your people, but sadly you couldn't spot them.
After getting back to your seat you sit with jitters the rest of the commencement as you want to go see Gabi and Miguel.
After another two hours, finally the time came for everyone to reunite with their loved ones.
"Ahh we did it!" Said Stephanie as she holds up her degree which you join her in as you both scream in excitement. You both then make your way through the crowd to try and find your group. Of course it wasn't too hard as your 6'9" boyfriend stuck out from the crowd. You grab Stephanie's hand as you guide her towards the group. Once you got closer, Miguel's eyes locked on you as his smile widened.
You quickly get to him as he opens one of his arms wide, the other carrying Gabi who was wearing a matching colored dress to yours with a pretty headband. You wrap one of your arms around his waist.
"Mama! I saw you on the stage! I waved!"
"I wish I was able to see you, but there were just so many people. I love this dress. It's so cute." You smile as you caress her cheek.
"We match!" She smiled excitedly.
"We do! I love it." You smile at her lovingly.
"Ok ok, it's time for Papa to congratulate you now." Miguel chuckled as he leaned down and captured his plush lips with yours before pulling away. "Congratulations, mi amor."
"Congratulations y/n. Welcome to the real world." Said your older brother Jack as he came over with Stephanie by his side.
"Thanks Jack. So should we head out."
"Not yet. Mom and Dad want to see you real quick and congratulate you." Said Liam as he walked up to the group, followed by your parents. Even after your accident your relationship with them is still on thin ice. If they just accepted your relationship with Miguel then you would be more than happy to forgive them. However as they join the group their smiles falter as they glance over to Miguel.
"Congratulations sweetie, we're so proud of you. All that hard work really paid off." Said your mother as she tries to hug you which you awkwardly accept.
"Thanks." A half-smile was awkwardly placed on your lips. "I'm lucky I was able to finish this year." You couldn't help yourself from saying the snide comment.
"Well you understand our reason why." Added your father.
"And you understand why I'm going to continue to ignore you both."
"It's just ridiculous, it's so hard to attend local events because of-" your mother went off before she was interrupted by Miguel.
"It's getting close to our dinner reservation, so we're going to go." Miguel lost his smile as he stared down at your parents.
"Fine. Can we at least see you for dinner tomorrow or Sunday to celebrate?" Your mother offered. You sighed about to accept it, so that they'll be off you back off for a while, however before you could Miguel spoke up.
"Actually she won't be available this weekend." You looked up to him brows furrowed, curious to his response. He sighed before looking at you with a loving smile. "I was going to surprise you later with your gift, but you and I are going on a weekend vacation." Your eyes widen as a surprised smile replaces your awkward one.
"Can I ask where?" You chuckle.
"Sorry Cariño that's a surprise." Miguel chuckled as he kissed the side of your head.
"Well, we're going to leave." Said your Mother with an unamused expression as she and your father left. "Liam come on." She added.
"But I want to go out with them." Liam complained.
"Listen to your mother Liam." Added your father.
"Dad it's fine. I'll pay for him and drop him off." Offered Jack.
"Fine. Be back by 8." Your father said before catching up with your mother.
"Ok let's get these solemn faces some food and liquor to celebrate y/n and I graduating." Cheered Stephanie which made everyone smile and laugh as you all head to your designated cars to head to the restaurant.
Dinner with your brothers, best friend, and family to celebrate was great, but eventually it had to end as you all went on your way back home.
Miguel opened the front door, letting you go in first as you were carrying the sleeping Gabi. You both went upstairs as you helped change Gabi into her pjs before tucking her into bed. Both you and Miguel sit there on the bed gazing at her peaceful state.
"Is it possible to have her stay the way she is?" You whisper as you gently brush some of her hair away from her face.
"I wish there was a way." Miguel replied as he smiled down at her before placing a kiss to her forehead and standing up from the bed. After you repeated the gesture he held his hand out for you to take and help you off the bed, just out of kindness and for some contact with you.
You both walk back to your shared bedroom as you take a seat on the edge of the bed to rest for a second, as the exhaustion starts to take a toll on you. Miguel comes out of his closet, shirt unbutton, revealing his chiseled chest, which you couldn't help but glance at with a small blushing smile.
"You like what you see?" Miguel chuckled as he made his way over to you and sat next to you before putting your legs on his lap.
"I do."  You grin as you get on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. Miguel places his arms around you to bring you closer.
"Hey, I have something to tell you." Miguel smile was wide and infectious as you smiled back at him.
"What is it? It must be good if you're smiling like that."
"I got a call from Jess my colleague at work. She said you got the job."
Your face turns to surprise before smiling again. "Omg, no way. Really?! I thought I wasn't suppose to find out until next week?" You hug Miguel which makes you both fall onto the bed, both laughing. You ended up straddled on his lap. You leaned down and kissed him. While distracted he flipped you around on the bed so he was above you.
"I might have pulled some strings to get your response sooner. Jess said that your resume was phenomenal. Actually you were the top person out of the people selected." He said before leaning down to kiss you. "Now you are stuck with me." He added placing another kiss to your lips.
"I wouldn't have it any other way." You chuckle as you happily return his kiss, You wrap your arms around his neck to deepen it and savor the taste of his lips.
"We should get some rest we have to wake up early to catch our flight. And Gabriel is probably going to be here earlier than planned." Miguel sighed giving you one last kiss before laying next to you and pulling you against his side, resting your head on his chest. You turn your head to look up at him.
"Where are you taking me Mr. O'Hara?" You smile as you trace your finger over his chest and abs.
"Like I said before, it's a surprise, cariño. You will find out when we get there." Miguel chuckled from your teasing tone.
Your hand trail down his abdomen where you loosened his belt and pants, and lowering your hand into his boxers. A sigh escaped his lips as your wrapped your hand around his half-erect cock. You begin to move your hand, " will this convince you to tell me?" You batted your eye lashes at him, which made him chuckle lightly as he relaxed against your touch.
"Sorry hermosa. Not telling you. But you can continue with what you're doing though." Miguel whispered in your ear. You smile as your roll your eyes from his response. You lower his boxer so his now erect cock, dripping with pre-cum bounced out against his stomach. "You're lucky I've been so horny lately since I was only cleared this week to be able to have sex again." You chuckle as you straddle him, positioning him before you lowered yourself as you let out a moan. Miguel rest his hands on your hips as he begins to thrust up into you instantly hitting your sweet spot.
"It has been a very fun week since that check-up." Miguel chuckled as he let out a groan. Not being allowed to have sex for so long during your recovery, making each time this week even more sensational. As soon as the doctor had cleared you, both you and Miguel couldn't even make it back to the house, fucking on the sink in the private bathrooms in the hospital and once in the car in the garage before barely making it to the bedroom. Let's just say neither of you have had any rest this week.
You move your hips along with his. You throw your head back as you feel his tip hit against your cervix. "Fuck I missed feeling you so much. God you're still tight even though I've been fucking you non-stop this week."
Miguel's grip on your hips grew stronger as he fucked you faster, making the knot in your stomach grow tighter and release as you let out a breathy moan. "Miguel."
Your voice sent him over the edge, as he thrusted into you, spilling inside your inner walls. You collapsed onto his sweaty chest as he wrapped his arms around you, kissing your forehead before removing himself from you, earning a small moan from your lips. Of course your voice made his cock go hard again.
"Guess we're not getting any sleep tonight." He breathed out before thrusting back inside you.
——————-
It was the early morning hours of the next day, the sun not even out yet when you heard the doorbell ring. Both you and Miguel got up an hour prior to get ready and packed, barely running on two hours of sleep.
You go to Gabi's room as you go to her bedside and kneel down. "Hi baby bug. Tio Gabi is here. Papa and I are going to leave soon, do you want to say goodbye?" Your soft tone woke her as she rubbed one of her eyes trying to get the sleep out as she yawned nodding her head. You lift her out of the bed and walk out of the room. You smile as she rests her head against you, her eyes trying hard to stay open.
You walk down the steps towards the two brothers in the entry way where your two suitcases sat.
"Someone wanted to say goodbye." You say as you bring Gabi over to Miguel, who smiled lovingly at his daughter as he took her into in his arms and gave her a kiss to the cheek, "goodbye princesa. Mama and I will miss you so much. We'll see you on Monday." He gives her another kiss on her forehead. You then stood right next them as Gabi squirmed out of her father's hold as she wanted to go back in your arms.
You happily took her as you held her close to you as you gave her a kiss to her forehead. "Aw we'll miss you baby bug. If you ever miss us just ask Tio Gabriel to call us."
Miguel comes back inside the house after putting the bags in the hired car. "It's time to head to the airport."
You keep holding Gabi as you comb your fingers through her hair, which calmed her down when she felt anxious. "Ok baby bug, we have to go now. I'll miss you so much."
Gabi clung to you not wanting to leave your arms, which made your heart ache, making you not want to leave her.
"Come here mi pequeña sobrina. We'll have a fun weekend. We'll go to the movies, the park, and eat all the junk food we want." Gabriel said as you handed Gabi over to him. His words perked her ears and made her eyes widen with excitement. "Yay!"
Miguel rolled his eyes at his brother, not ready to have to deal with a sugar-high child when he comes back. But as long as his daughter was happy he would be happy.
After saying your last goodbyes you and Miguel enter the back seat of the car as it drives off towards the airport. The smooth ride plus the warmth of sitting right next to Miguel made your eyes grow heavy before closing.
What felt like only a minute later you feel lips pressed to your hand. "Wake up, mi vida. We're here." Your eyes open to see Miguel smiling down at you. You lift your head from his shoulder as you smile up at him. "Oops, I must have fallen back asleep." You chuckle. You both get out of the car. Eyes widened slightly shocked to not be in front of the airport drop-off but on the tarmac with a private jet 10 feet from where you stood.
"You ready, cariño?" Miguel placed a hand on your mid-lower back. You look up to him with a smile as you both walk towards the jet. When you entered you were amazed by the luxurious scene before you. Light tan leathered cushioned seats.
You find a seat by the window as you look outside the window, smiling as you begin to see the sunrise. Miguel sat in the chair in front of you. He extends his hand across the table to rest on top of yours.
"Is everything alright? You have a surprised look on your face."
" Everything is perfect. I guess it's a mixture of still waking up and coming to the realization that I'm on a private jet." You smile as you intertwine your hand with his.
"Ah I see. Well let's make it an amazing first time." He gestures for the flight attendant, who brings a bottle of Prosecco and two glasses. Once they were filled you clinked glasses and took a sip, neither of your eyes left the others.
Throughout the plan ride you still tried to convince Miguel to tell you where you were going. And every time he wouldn't tell you, only giving a toothy grin and a chuckle as he would say, "lo siento mi amor. Not happening."
In between that you both would have conversation either about Gabi and her changing schools next year, talking about you starting at Alchamex, or just random things on each others' mind. Plus a few fun activities in the bathroom.
Finally the time came that you would find out where you would be going, seeing the view from the window. However, Miguel, being sneaky had all the windows close so you couldn't see it. Your pout made his heart swoon as he gestured for you to come over and sit on his lap.
"You'll find out very soon." Miguel lightly took your chin as he kissed you. The kiss lasted a bit longer turning slightly heated, but before Miguel could get his tongue in your mouth you removed your lips from him earning a pout on his face, making you chuckle.
"Sorry Miggy. Not happening until I know where we're going." You press a quick kiss to his lips before getting off his lap and back to your seat. You grin mischievously at him knowing you've poked the bear who stares down at you with lust-filled eyes.
Another 20 minutes and the jet landed. You and Miguel got up and towards the now open door. You stepped outside as you felt the warm salty breeze that was so familiar to you.
"It's nice to be back in Miami with you cariño."
You look up at him both eyes and lips smiling in excitement. "You're so sweet. Thank you for this." You go on your toes to kiss his cheek, which made his grin widen, showing his dimples, something you cherished deep within your heart and soul.
The drive didn't take long as traffic went smoothly. Flashbacks and the feeling of nostalgia overcame you as the driver pulls into the same hotel you had met Miguel in almost 3 years ago.
After getting checked in Miguel leads you to your room. A smile graces your lips as you reminisce the memories of walking through these halls last time you were here.
Miguel opens the door as you enter a massive suite. As you walk in your eyes widen in amazement as you gaze at the gorgeous spacious living room with floor-to ceiling windows and luscious and soft furniture. When you turn you see a massive kitchen with an intimate-size dinning table.
You set your bag down as you walk towards the main windows you noticed the large patio balcony that has its own intimate pool, lawn chairs, and dining table with an umbrella. The sun was shining beautifully brightening your smile. You couldn't wait to spend the weekend under the sun with Miguel.
Strong arms wrapped around your waist pulling you against him. A relaxing sigh escaped you as you felt his soft lips against your neck, hitting your sweet spot.
"Should we break in our sanctuary for the weekend?" He whispered against your ear as his hand lowered, lifting your skirt. He pulled you closer as he moved your panties to the side and began rubbing your clit. Your breath hitched as you felt one of his fingers push inside you as his other hand lifted up your top and squeezed your right breast.
"Didn't get enough on the flight here?" You let out a small chuckle before gasping as he entered another finger and pumped faster.
"I can never have enough of you, cariño. Fucking you in that enclosed bathroom twice wasn't enough. I wish you would have just let me sprawl you on the sofa in the jet." Miguel inserted a third finger, filling your aching pussy as he sucked on your neck, leaving marks in his trek.
"T-the flight attendant w-would have seen us."
"She would have gone to the cockpit to give us some privacy.But no matter. We'll make up for it right now." Miguel continued to pump his fingers into you as he grind his boner into your back. A moan left you, chills shooting up your spine as Miguel pinches your right nipple as he sucked on your neck. The various touches made the knot form in your lower abdomen. Your head falls against his chest, giving his mouth more access to your neck, marking you all over.
Miguel lets out a groan as his pants tighten, wanting to free himself and fill up your soft and warm walls.
Not able to take it much longer Miguel removes his fingers, letting out an annoyed moan from you. He turns you around lifts you up and sits you on the dining room table. He goes down on his knees as he removes your panties and skirt putting your legs over his shoulders before diving his tongue deep into your aching cunt.
A shaky moan leaves you as Miguel's tongue enters your wet folds. His lips adventure around your overly sensitive area, as your thighs wrapped tight around his head, making his cock twitch from the pressure as he yearned to be inside you.
Every time your eyes opened and looked down your cheeks turned a shade darker as your eyes met his intense reddish-brown gaze. You gripped the edge of the table as you felt his tongue slowly lick your wet folds before sucking your sensitive clit, instinctively making your hips buck up against him.
You begin to feel your core tighten again, " Cum for me cariño," he said before his lips sucked on your clit.
Your grip on the table relaxed as you released yourself onto his face, your thighs shaking from your release of your orgasm. Miguel stood up from his knees, a smirk on his face as he hooked your knees with his hands as he pulled you closer against him. He leaned down and took your chin as he lifted your head slightly and captured his lips with yours. You moan as you tasted yourself on his tongue.
"You like tasting yourself, amor?" Miguel hummed in amusement before capturing your lips again and entering his tongue in your mouth.
You hummed in agreement against his lips before breathlessly saying, "only from your lips, Miggy."
As you both continued the passionate make out session Miguel moved his hands from your ass. To your disappointment as he began to unbuckle his belt and began to unzip his pants the doorbell rang.
You both sighed in frustration, annoyed in being interrupted. Miguel puts himself back in and walks to the front door as he buckles his belt. Already losing the moment you hop off the table.
You peak around the corner to see that it was the bell hop delivering the bags. Although you could only see Miguel's broad back you tried to hold back a chuckle as you saw the scared face of the bell hop. Miguel must have been terrifying the man just because he cock-blocked him.
After the bell hop left Miguel brought all the luggage to the main area, setting it down in a huff in frustration. His hair was out of its normal place. He combined it back with his fingers, however, it fell right back onto his forehead. He looked at you with a smile opening his arms to you, which you happily walked into his arms as he wrapped you up in a bear hug. You looked up at him as you got on your toes to kiss his chin.
"I guess the moment has passed?" Miguel asked.
"Yeah, I'm sorry Miggy. That Bell hop really did come at the worst time."
"He did." Miguel sighed as he leaned down and placed a loving kiss on your lips. "What would you like to do now? We can go shopping, go to the pool, the beach, stay here."
"I don't care what we do I just want to be with you." You smile as you rest your head against his chest, enjoying the rhythm of his heartbeat.
"Dios mío, mi amor. Mi corazón se hincha por lo lindo que puedes ser. Mi mente y mi corazón se vuelven locos por ti. Te amo con todo mi corazón y mi alma." Miguel smiled wide as he places butterfly kisses all over your face and neck. (Oh my God, my love. My heart swells because of how beautiful you can be. My mind and heart go crazy for you. I love you with all my heart and soul.)
"You are such a sweet talker, Miguel. Are you trying to get into my pants again?" You chuckle as you wrap your arms around his neck to pulls him down and kiss him.
"'Maybe a little bit." He chuckled along with you. "Let me take you shopping cariño. I want to treat you to a nice weekend."
"Aw Miguel that's sweet of you. But you know you don't need to win me over with anything artificial. I love you."
"I love you too. And I know that. But can't a boyfriend just spoil his girlfriend sometimes?" He chuckles as he brushed some strands of your hair behind your ear.
"Well if you say it like that, then ok. But if there is anything that catches your eye, I'm buying it for you."
"Whatever you wish for cariño."
You spend majority of the day exploring the shopping district in South Beach. Both you and Miguel bought plenty of things. The last place was a men's store to look at shirts for Miguel. Throughout the day he had bought everything that peaked your interest even if you didn't say anything, he got it for you. You really wanted to buy him a few things.
He picked out a few nice dress shirts as he went to go try them on on top of handing him a few more that you thought would look good on him. Every time he showed you a new shirt you thought he looked amazing in all of them. Also you just kept on eating up all the gawking stares at Miguel from both men and women. Usually some people would be annoyed by people checking out your boyfriend, as long as they didn't directly try to flirt with him in front of you. But you just loved that he was yours and you were his, which was easily shown when he wrapped an arm around your waist.
After grabbing a bite to eat you both decided it was time to head back to the hotel as the sun already was gone. After dropping off all the bags you both head down to a familiar-looking out door bar by the pool.
Miguel guides you to two seats at the bar counter. A chill went up your spine, the feeling of deja vu running through your mind.
Your smile widens when the bartender brings over the drinks you both had ordered. Before you could take a sip Miguel swiftly moved it from your grasp. You sent him a playful offended look as you lean closer to him, lips only centimeters a part. "This time I'm old enough to drink." You wink at him, before his lips could meet yours, you pulled your head away and placed your lips on the rim of your glass as you take your first sip, eyes never leaving his.
"This time I know that you're mine." Miguel pulls you closer  towards him, smiling wide at you before taking your chin and kissing you. "God I just want to ravage you right now."
You giggle at his words, "Not. Yet. My love." You tap his plush lips with your finger as you pronounce each word. Miguel smiles against your finger as he kisses it before wrapping an arm around your waist and moving your chair as close to his as possible.
"Hey I wanted to tell you some big news."
"Oh?! What is it?!"
"The same day I heard about you getting the internship I officially became the CEO of Alchamex."
"Oh my god Miguel! That's amazing! Congratulations!" Your eyes widen as you wrap your arms around his neck, practically jumping on him, giving him a kiss.
Miguel's smile widened with joy as he happily accepted you into his arms.
"Well now we have something to celebrate for this weekend!"You smile as you sit back in your seat and raise your glass. Miguel chuckles from your remarks as he follows your gesture with his drink.
"Let's drink to us mi amor."
"To us? What for?" You return his wide smile.
"Your internship. My new position. Our future." You felt your heart skip a beat when you heard his last words.
"I'll cheers to that. I love you."
"I love you too, cariño."
After a few more drinks at the bar and another night of passion you wake up the next morning feeling slightly sore.
Raising from the bed you stretch as you smile at the beautiful morning sky. You notice the lack of warmth to the other side of the bed as you can hear the shower running in the bathroom. A chill went up your spine, as the feeling of Deja vu washed over you. You leave the bed as you walk over to the master suite bathroom in your birthday suit.
As you enter your cheeks redden from the sight of water dripping down his wide strong back as it rolls down his waist to his plush ass and down to the marble floor. You bite your lip as you watch his arm muscles flex as he washes his curls. You step into the shower stepping around him and directly under the water. You look up at him with a suggestive smile.
"Good morning mi amor. I didn't think you would be up yet. But I'm glad you are now." Miguel leaned down and cupped your chin as he kissed you. Craving him you wrapped your arms lazily around his neck. His other hand grabbed you by the waist pulling you against him, a groan escaping his lips as your stomach rubbed against his erected cock.
"I missed the warmth of your body in the bed." You gave him a fake pout as you push your body closer to his, making your breasts push against him. Miguel's eyes widen before filling with lust as he gave you one of his iconic smirks.
"Aw I'm sorry baby. I can warm you up now though." Miguel lifted you up against the shower wall, large hands cupping your ass as he thrusts himself into you.
A moan escapes you as you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist as he begin to fuck you at a rough pace. Your nails dig into his shoulders as you feel the build up from the feeling of his thick ridges invading your pink flesh walls.
Miguel moved one of his hands to your lower abdomen has he could see and feel himself fucking your insides. "Ugh cariño I just want to fill you up with my seed and see your stomach swollen with our children."
"M-Miggy." You barely could say his name, to caught up in your own pleasure.
"Fuck, I love it when you say my name." Miguel's lips pressed against your neck as he nipped and sucked at your skin as he continued to ram you against the wall. With his hand pressing against your lower abdomen, making your space for his cock to move inside you tighter. The feeling in your stomach quickly builds up and with one more thrust your eyes roll back as you find your release. After a few more thrusts Miguel released himself inside you, latching his lips to yours in a heated kiss. His thrust slowed down before he pulled out, his seed spilling out of you.
Miguel let you stand again. He turned you around, putting some shampoo in his hand as he massaged it into your scalp. You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes enjoying the sensation.
After he helped washing your hair, you poured some body wash in your hands as you began to wash his body. As you used the cloth to wash his broad chest he brush some loose strands behind your ear, whispering "So beautiful." You smiled lovingly up at him as he caressed your cheek. 
After finishing cleaning in the shower you both get dry and ready for the day before heading out hand in hand to grab some breakfast.
The hostess seats you at a nice table outside facing the beach. You and Miguel decided to sit next to each other instead of across wanting to be close to one another.
"Anything in store for today?" You smile before taking a sip of your mimosa.
"I was thinking we relax at the beach today. How does that sound?" Miguel smiles as he pops a grape into his mouth.
"That sounds wonderful."
Miguel's phone buzzed on the table, picking it up a smile appears on his face. Looking over you see it's Gabriel face-timing him. You scoot your chair closer to Miguel before he pressed the answer button.
"Mama! Papa!" Said the young voice you missed.
"Buenas días, princesa. ¿Cómo dormiste?" ( Good morning princess, how did you sleep?)
"Good! I miss you and mama. When are you coming home?" Your heart ached when you saw her sad pout.
"We miss you so much baby bug. Papa and I will be back in two more sleeps."
"Ok Mama. Papa did you-" "well look at the time, it's time for you to get ready for soccer practice." Gabriel interrupted his little niece for talking further.
You frowned slightly wanting to talk to Gabi more as you did miss her, but after a quick goodbye Gabriel hung up the call.
"I wish we could have talked longer. I miss her."
Miguel took your hand and kissed the inside of your wrist.
"I miss her too, but we'll see her soon."
"You're right." You smile as you cup his cheek lovingly.
After enjoying breakfast together you walk to the beach and find two seats with an umbrella. You lay your beach bag and towels on the chairs before removing your sun dress over your head. As soon as your were just in your colorful bikini you heard a snap. Before you could even react Miguel blocked your chest from nearby onlookers.
"Aw my shoulder strap broke." You pout, as you cover your chest. "I have another one in my bag, I'll go change in one of the bathrooms."
"Do u need help?" Miguel asked with a look of slight concern.
"Don't worry I'll be ok. Thank you for protecting me, my knight and shining armor." You go on your toes and kiss his lips before grabbing your spair bikini and heading over towards the bathroom.
After switching bikinis you look yourself over in the mirror smiling before heading back out to the beach. Your happy smile switched to a frown when you noticed the waitress getting too close to your boyfriend. Of course before you can get there she leaves. When you got to your chair you noticed Miguel's annoyed face before his eyes met yours and seconds later his loving smile returned.
"Make a friend there?" You chuckle as you sit on the chair next to him.
"Just the typical waitress trying to gain my favor, they are just too blind to see that my heart and body belong to you only. Oh I ordered you a mango margarita." Miguel took your hand and kissed your knuckles. You notice the waitress was about to come back over with your drinks, so the mischievous person you can be, you straddle his lap as you trace your hands up his chiseled chest to his shoulders to massage them.
"¿Qué estás haciendo mi sexy minx?" Miguel chuckled with a smirk on his face as he placed his hands on your hips. (What are you doing my sexy minx?)
"Just helping you relax plus another reason."
"Care to let me in on it?"
"Oh I think you already have figure it out Doctor O'Hara."
Miguel gave your hips a tiny love squeeze to your cheeky remark.
The waitress came back now acting nervous when she noticed you on Miguel's lap acting all lovey dovey.You smiled as you could tell Miguel was trying told back a chuckle as he knew your only got like this when you got jealous. He thought it was cute. "H-here are your d-drinks."
"You can place them on the table. Thank you." The waitress gives you a fake awkward happy smile before walking away. You hand Miguel his beer before grabbing your drink and taking a sip from your straw.
"This is bringing back fond memories." Miguel brushed some of your hair behind your shoulder before bringing you closer against him. Luckily you were at a Adults-only hotel, so you didn't have to worry about children being around.
"What makes you say that?"
"You sitting in my lap under the sun by the sea. Who would have thought I would call you mine almost three years later." Miguel took your chin gently and placed a loving kiss to both sides of your cheeks before placing one on your lips.
"Oh Miggy you can be such a romantic. I love you." You chuckle with a loving smile before placing another kiss on his lips.
"Anything to please you hermosa."
"You remember that nice memory of us in the private pool?" You give him a suggestive smile wrapping your arms around his neck now and bringing your chest against his. Miguel grabbed your ass and pulled you closer, feeling a half erect  hard on under neath his swim suit shorts rubbing  against your clit you bite your lower lip to hide your moan.
"I do."
"Maybe we should sneak into the pool tonight and recreate it?"
"Actually I booked us a private cabana and pool for all day tomorrow. So we can recreate that moment, on and on and on." Miguel moved his hips against you on rhythm with his last words. Before the beginning of a knot could form in your lower abdomen you remember you were in public and immediately remove yourself from his lap and back to to your chair blushing madly.
"Aw cariño why did you leave? I thought we were having fun." Miguel sent you a fake pout.
"A little too much fun in public. Save it for closed doors." You wink at him. Miguel winked back with a chuckle kissing your forehead as he wrapped and arm on the back of your chair as your were right next to him.
You spent the day laying in the sun enjoying each others presence in comfortable silence with a break or two playing in the water to cool off.
Once the sun begins to set you go back to the hotel and shower together, taking longer than usual to both satisfy your sexual hunger building up throughout the day.
You smile at yourself in the long mirror lining the long dress with heels that you chose. Miguel had said that dinner was at a Michelin star Mexican-Japanese restaurant tonight, which you were excited to try.
"You look gorgeous mi amor." Miguel wrapped his arms around you in a hug as he kisses your neck. You turn around to face your handsome boyfriend.
"You look handsome." You giggle slightly from his light kisses tickling your neck.
"Not too old for you?" He lightly chuckled but you could tell he actually wanted to know, feeling slightly insecure.
"Miguel. You're the one for me. You're my perfect man."
"Flaws and all?"
"Flaws and all. But I see your flaws as unique characteristics. And I love every single one." You lift his head to look into his brown eyes.
"You are more than perfect y/n." Miguel smiled as he kissed your lips. Once you both broke away you chuckled lightly to see that your red lipstick left a mark on his lips. You grab a tissue and gently wipe the red from his lips.
"God, if I didn't want to go to this restaurant I would mount you right now on this bed." You take a deep breath trying your best to control yourself. What this man could make your mind and body feel.
"We'll have plenty of time afterwords, unless, do you want to have a quickie right now? We have 20 minutes. Only takes 8 to walk there." Miguel smirked as he turned you back around and bent you over before you could answer. He got your answer when you rubbed your ass against his crotch making him groan from the contact. He unzipped his pants and taking himself out before lifting your dress and pushing your white lace underwear to the side before pushing himself in. A moan left your lips as he fully entered himself inside your wet pink folds. From this angle you were tighter so you felt the feeling of his ridges and veins moving against your inner walls.
Grabbing your hips he removes himself fully except the tip before plunging back into you.
"Fuck hermosa. You feel so good. It's going to be hard just to fill you once."
Miguel pace quickens at record speed building your knot instantly. Another moan escaped your lips overwhelmed by the quick and pleasurable orgasm. However, after coming down from your euphoric high you noticed his pace doesn't falter.
"M-miggy."
"Just one more. Let me make you cum one more time." And true to his word you felt another knot build just as fast as the first before feeling that familiar and intoxicating high you can't seem to get enough of. After your second orgasm Miguel stopped his thrusts inside you, as he made your inner walls white. He thrusted a few more times inside you wanting as much seed to stay inside you as his constantly had the need to breed you.
He walked over to the bathroom to get a warm wet towel to clean you off before cleaning himself off.
You look in the mirror to make yourself look presentable before linking arms with your boyfriend. "Look at that, we still have time to spare. Could have fucked you for another few minutes.Guess we'll head over early."
"Guess we'll have to add those minutes for later tonight's session." Miguel smirked from your response before placing a kiss on the top of your head before you both left the room towards the restaurant.
You make it to the restaurant and are seated right away at a beautiful table outside with a bottle of Prosecco in an ice bucket ready to be sipped.
The dinner and atmosphere was perfect. The food and drink was amazing, the staff were really nice. How more perfect could this night get?
"Wow, I can see why this restaurant has a Michelin star, every bite was amazing. What an amazing day. Thank you." You smile
"I'm glad you liked it cariño. But dinner is not quite over yet. We still have dessert." Miguel chuckled slightly when you gave him a curious look.
You were curious to his words because Miguel didn't have a big sweet tooth. You're surprised by the waiter coming over with a small white cake with white flowers dusted gold.
On the top it read in cursive "Will you..."the waiter took a lighter and lit the thin layer on fire revealing another set of words, "Marry me?"
When your eyes lifted to Miguel's you saw him already beside you kneeling down on one knee with a velvet small box open.
"Y/n. Mi Vida. Mi amor. When I look into your eyes, I can see a reflection of the two of us and the life I hope we'll share. I know we have had our challenges in this relationship. But my love for you is so much stronger than any challenge that has come or will come in our way. When I met you almost three years ago at this very hotel I'd never felt my heart so full. I never felt so happy before. And I'm so happy that you came back into my life. I promise you, no one will work harder to make you happy or cherish you more than me. Will you make me the happiest man on Eartg and marry me?"  Miguel opened up the black velvet box to reveal a beautiful oval shaped, 3 carat diamond stone with a white gold band that decorated with smaller diamonds on both sides.
Tears brimmed the corner of your eyes. Your heart was pounding a mile a minute as you felt butterflies fly rapidly in your stomach. You started to nod your head yes having a hard time speaking as you gave him a wide happy smile before wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him up with some new found strength as you kiss him. You pepper his lips with kisses while you say in between, "yes. Yes. I will marry you."
Miguel smile was bright and happy, the smile that made your heart swell with love. He cupped your cheek, "You just made me the happiest man on Earth."
The surrounding tables called and cheered for your joyous occasion. Miguel took the beautiful ring from its box as he slipped it on your ring finger.
"It fits perfectly. It's beautiful Miguel." You look at the ring smiling before placing another kiss to his lips.
After paying the bill you both leave the restaurant as you decide to take a walk on the beach.
Miguel leads you to a private section of the beach where a gorgeous open tent with candles lighting a path in the sand with petals trailing up the middle. You gasped in wonder when you see the inside of tent. A king sized floor mattress and comforters with blankets and pillows. On one side there was champagne and a small fruit platter with a sign that said, 'Congratulations.'
"Oh Miguel this is gorgeous." You look up at him with love and excitement which returns in his gaze.
"Now let's celebrate." Miguel lifted you up bridal style before gently throwing you on to the soft comforter.
The ending of the night was perfect as you showed each other how much you loved each other as you made love on the beach under the starry night sky.
You wake up to the bright sun shinning over the bright blue water. Brain becoming more awake you realize you were still in the tent on the beach.
You felt Miguel shift as you felt the grip he had around your waist tighten as he pulled you back against his chest as he whispered in your ear with his rough morning voice, " Good morning hermosa."
"Good morning." You turn your head slightly to meet his lips with yours to give him a morning kiss. You then remember the band around your finger as you turned to look at it.
"Oh my god, we're engaged."You cover your mouth eyes widening smiling as the realization finally hits you.
"We are." Miguel chuckled to your words as he placed a few kisses on your shoulder and neck.
"How did you set this all up?"
"It's a special offer they have for the newly engaged. It's a private part of the beach that no one else can go to .
"Very romantic. Thank you for a wonderful weekend away."
"Of course mi amor. Anything for you."
The rest of the morning was spent with more love making and breakfast that was delivered.
You both decided it was time to head back to the room, walking back in the clothes from the night before.
The day went by in a flash from the private pool and cabana to another romantic dinner to now where you are on the terrace balcony of your room laying on the outdoor sofa and cuddling in each others arms.
You gaze up at the stars as you both try to find constellations.
"Look there's the Little Dipper!" You point up to the sky with your left hand. Miguel gently grabs your hand that was raised to the sky and brings it to his lips placing a kiss to your wrist.
"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." He smiled as his reddish-brown gaze met yours. Your cheeks flushed slightly as you smiled up at him.
"Me too. I love you Miguel O'Hara."
"I love too, soon-to-be Y/n O'Hara."
————————————————————————
Hope you enjoyed this chapter!💕
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familyvideostevie · 2 years
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emma, i adore everything you write, seriously. you've quickly become one of my fav writers here on tumblr, and whenever i'm in need of some comfort i come to your blog and reread one of your fics. ♡
if you're still taking requests, how about either steve or eddie tying a ribbon (or anything, really) on reader's ring finger as a makeshift wedding ring while they're talking about marriage? like, all domestic and fluff.
it could be a baby blurb or a drabble...anything, really. and no worries if you can't/don't wanna write this! ily anyways <3
also, congrats on 500 followers ♡♡♡
amy hi!!! i am such a fan of your blog, this means the world to me!!!!! i really really loved writing this for you, so i hope you like it!! come say hi anytime please <3 this was just screaming eddie and his rings to me in a post-graduation moment<3 | 1.1k, fem!reader, fluff fluff fluff
"I can't believe it's over," Eddie says. You're tucked into his side where you both flopped down onto his bed. His fresh high school diploma is propped up on his desk and his green gown lays crumpled on the floor. The entire group had shown up for the ceremony and you have a stack of polaroids in your pocket of everyone and the new grad. It's been a wonderful day.
"I thought Higgins was going to cry when he shook your hand," you say. "He looked so relieved when you walked off stage." Eddie's palm traces up and down your arm lazily, his other hand playing with your fingers on his chest.
"Me and him both." He hums, a sound you feel in your bones since you're so close. "Thought Wayne was gonna crack a rib when he hugged me." He sounds unbearably fond and a little in awe. Eddie has never stopped being surprised at how much people love him. It's been kind of an overwhelming day as a result, which is why you're taking a breather here before you head out to his graduation party.
"He's proud of you, Eddie," you scold him. "We all are. I am."
"Gotta figure out what's next, I guess." He's quiet for a few moments and you sling a leg over his, turning so you can see his face better.
"Well, what do you want to do?"
"No idea, sweetheart." He looks down at you, taking his time roaming over your face. "Never got that far in the planning." The only thing he's been sure about is you.
"We could stay here. Get jobs and stick around and make sure the kiddos graduate high school."
"Think Harrington could get me a job at Family Video?" he snickers. You roll your eyes.
"Or we could move out of Hawkins, try somewhere new?"
"We'd have to come back sometimes," he reminds you. "Otherwise we'd never hear the end of it." You adopt a serious expression and nod.
"Of course." His eyes are sparkling and he looks so happy. You want to look at him forever. "Maybe Corroded Coffin will go on tour and you'll be a super mega rockstar."
"Nah," he says. He brushes some hair off of your face, the pads of his fingers gentle on your forehead. "I'd miss you too much."
"I keep saying 'we' for a reason, Eddie." You feel shy all of a sudden for having to spell it out for him and your face heats. "Where you go, I go." The way his eyes soften and his mouth forms an 'o' would be funny in another circumstance, but all you feel is tenderness.
"I see," he whispers. "So you wanna stick around then, huh? Hitch a ride on the Munson express?" You burst into laughter and smack his chest lightly before sitting up.
"We were having a moment!" you sputter out, giggles overwhelming you. He follows you up, turning on the bed so his knee presses into your thigh.
"Okay, okay, calm down. Bring the moment back." His hair is a bit of a mess so you run your fingers through it though you know you'll never succeed in taming it. "I just had a thought," he says, softer, eyes on your movements.
"Oh dear," you mumble. He smirks but continues.
"Think about the future for a second, yeah? Me and you doing whatever we want wherever we end up."
"Sounding good so far, Eddie." He reaches up and pulls your hands down into his lap, tracing your knuckles with his thumbs. His expression is earnest and fond and maybe a little nervous.
"And we decide that we want to make things a little more official. Since you're it for me."
"And you're it for me," you say back, your usual refrain. The realization at where he's going with this makes your fingers tingle and your eyes start to burn. You feel like your heart is going to burst open. Eddie seems to realize that you're catching on so he hurries his words.
"So we have a little party and invite all of our friends and somewhere in between the drinking and the music we get --"
"Married," you breathe out. "You wanna marry me, Munson? Is this a proposal?" You wouldn't mind if it was, but you know this is something that's far down the line.
"No," he says. "Wait, yes. Yes I want to marry you. No this isn't a proposal. Not a real one, anyway."
"Okay," you reply. "Just checking." You know that Eddie loves you but this feels like something else. It feels bigger. It feels forever.
"So, what do you think about that?" he asks. You realize you never gave him an answer, however hypothetical it may be. You surge forward to kiss him and land a little left of his mouth in your excitement. He laughs and you try again, this time taking his bottom lip between yours so that he might get a clue as to how you're feeling.
"I think that sounds great," you say when you pull away. He untangles your hands and pulls off one of his rings. "Eddie, oh god, I'll lose that, you don't have to --"
"Doesn't matter if you do, sweetheart," he says. "I just wanna see what it feels like for a second." You're a little confused but surrender to him as he lifts your right hand and then furrows his brows.
"Oh, shit. Wait, is it left or right hand?"
"Baby," you say, unable to contain the smile on your face. "I have no idea." He holds his hands up in front of him and flicks his eyes between them before coming to a decision.
"Left, I think. Let's go with that." He gently picks up yours and slides the metal onto your ring finger. You both gasp as he does it. He just holds you there, unable to tear his eyes away.
"Looks good," Eddie says, voice a little raw. "Looks real good." He brings your hand up to his mouth so he can kiss the new addition. If this gets any more tender you might explode, so you surge forward again to kiss him.
"I love you," you say into his mouth. "I love you so much." He moves to kiss down your jaw, your throat.
"I love you," he replies between pecks. "Gonna marry you someday." You groan at his words as he sucks a spot on your collarbone.
"We're gonna be late to your own party, right?" He pulls away to grin wolfishly.
"That's the plan." You can't believe you get to have him forever. You can't wait.
tags: @ruinedbythehobbit @superflannel @eddiussy @greenclues @sunlitide @gloryofroses19 @carpediem1219 @themarvelousbee @sunshinehollandd @katsukis1wife @imherefortea @spideyboipete @lonelywidow @louderfortheback @actual-mom-steve-harrington
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aboutnavi · 1 year
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I was brushing my teeth, reflecting about life, & my mind went back to AFTG and there is a scene on the first book that it has been stuck on my brain since I read the trilogy again this January and it's about Seth. Now, I know the fandom -in general- barely talk about Seth because Nora decided to kill him off for shock value and when people try to talk about him, it always comes back to 'he was a homophobic, disgusting piece of shit' which yes, valid but also, are we forgetting Aaron? The babyfication of Aaron in this fandom had everyone collectively forgetting he was exactly like Seth (even worse: towards his family!!!). Two wrongs doesn't make one right & I'm in no way justifying Seth's action but if we never talk about characters on AFTG just because they were problematic, we are not talking about any of them, ever (ok maybe some of them, but still).
My point is: the scene. Neil is confused as to why Seth hates Kevin -specifically him- so much, since Seth could get along with most people if he wanted and tried hard enough but he refused to give ground to Kevin & his answer is just so humanly heartbreaking it goes to my list of moments Nora did something right in AFTG. The scene goes like this:
Neil: Why do you hate him?
Seth: Because I'm sick of him getting everything he wants just because he's Kevin Day. Do you know what fame gets you, shitface? Everything. All he has to do is ask for it, and someone will give it to him. Doesn't matter what. Doesn't matter who. The world is dying to give him anything he wants. When he broke his hand, his fans cried for him. They flooded our locker room with letters and flowers. The amazing Kevin Day can't play anymore. Their lives were over. They'd grieve the loss forever. But tell me when's the last time anyone cried over you? Never, right? They're there for Kevin every step of the way, but where were they when we needed them?
Neil, stupidly: So you're jealous.
Seth: His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.
Neil first instinct is to say jealousy because jealousy is something he understands (he felt jealous of Kevin for having a future, for being able to play, for the talent, for the life he never got to live when his mother ran away, etc.) but for me what Seth is trying to portrait is more like the painful awareness that you get when you realize you're also worthy of love and care. Seth is such an unexplored character who had so much potential if Nora hadn't killed him for the sake of showing how Riko could be/was dangerous (and she could have done that in so many different ways!!!) & you can see that on, for example, Nora's post about his life. Seth was always the no-priority person, the kid no one payed attention to, the boy that if killed, not even his mother would come for the funeral. He was every aspect a Fox and he spent his entire life being told he was no one and to be able to say his life is not more important than mine shows so much development; the chance he had put on himself for being open to love, to care, to second and third chances... it was all there. It breaks my heart that he never got the chance to become something. & I do not believe he was an inherently bad person? They are so young in AFTG, all of them. Maybe Seth wasn't bad; maybe he was just twenty-two, you know?
& on the extra content when they tell Allison he died and she goes 'He called me not even an hour ago! He was drunk and rambling but he was happy for the first time in weeks. He was talking about how he finally thought graduating would be okay, about how he wanted me to help him look into grad schools. He wanted to go into social work and help people like he helps us. I know he wanted to die! Everyone knows he wanted to die! Every time he said he was done with life I walked away from him and every time he came chasing after me. This is the first time--he wanted to live.' breaks my heart.
Because, ok, Seth dies. Let's pretend it was a good idea for him to die to set some sort of impact on the story for a second. Except his death goes without much fuss. The shock Nora wanted is felt for maybe three seconds, in one paragraph in the last page of TFC and then we barely talk about Seth on TRK and TKM. Neil can't even understand how impactful was Seth's death - he only cares about how it will affect the game & his guilt is more about how Allison would feel towards him then sadness over losing a teammate - and this insight we get from Allison is from the extra content and not everyone goes on to read those so if Nora wanted something out of his death - pity, shock, sadness, or whatever - she should have put this scene IN THE BOOKS.
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yusuke-of-valla · 2 months
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Insane thoughts about non-SEES characters
You've brought up Mamoru before but I just think the fact that he ultimately drops out of high school to go work in a factory would raise a lot of question in Minato's head about what he should do in order to take care of the siblings.
The kids Yuko coaches in her Social Link are about Yusuke's age.
Hamuko misses Minato's summer track/kendo/swim meet because she's in Inaba with the volleyball/tennis team.
Maiko is everyone's friend. She can be pen pals with the younger kids after moving away.
You have the really funny opportunity to have Naoto cross paths with Rise while she's in town for the show that ultimately gets canceled due to the Hermit Shadow.
The Temperance Link is shared but the fact that Hamuko can actually make items during it and Minato can't leads me to believe that he just sucks at sewing. Hamuko makes little dolls and purses for the kids.
Bunkichi and Mitsuko give them even more snacks for the rotating cast of children that they keep bringing to the bookstore.
One of the Culture Club options - and the only option in Reload - is Art Club. Keisuke, Minato, and Fuuka can all be in Art Club. (Keisuke does show up as president of the Photography Club in Junpei's link but can be easily replaced.)
Maiko and Bunkichi are both among the people who get lost in Tartarus.
I knew about Maiko and Bunkichi! I remember thinking that's a really cool way to tie your social links into the main plot
Maiko also ends up friends with Ken I think during the Kyoto trip and while the teens are in summer school they have their own little weird adventure.
Wait hold on we can combine these Maiko getting kidnapped happens during the Kyoto trip and the kids+Koromaru stage a potentially ill-advised rescue trip (they're fine)
I love the implication that Minato just sucks at making things. There's probably a gendered analysis to be made about how Hamuko can cook and sew in her social links but Minato can't but in my heart it's just because Minato's cringe (speaking of, Sumire deserves to be the unofficial third memeber of Fuuka's cooking club)
Speaking of unofficial club members I think Yusuke hears that Minato and Fuuka are in the art club and is just fucking vibrating but doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to impose and then Minato invites him along and he is soooo excited to be able to make art with Minato and half the time no one understands what he's saying because he's been devouring art theory textbooks since he could read but he still takes the first thing Minato drew and gave him and keeps it under his pillow for good luck (idk how much of an Art Nerd Keisuke is but I feel like even without Madarame's influence Yusuke talks like an art history grad student at age 8 so he may or may not be able to follow.)
Club trip to the art museum you have never seen a child more excited outside of a candy store
Kasumi and Sumire train with Yuko even though her kids are a little older because they can keep up and Kasumi really wanted to
Naoto and Rise meeting early on would be so funny I think Naoto should do something incredibly embarassing and after Naoto is a complete badass In Persona 4 because he already has a Persona Rise is like "wait didn't you fall into the fountain at Pawlonia Mall two years ago"
I do think Minato and Hamuko being worried about not doing enough to support their siblings is a part of their arc because. You know basically being in charge at age 8 and having a really unstable home life but I have not narrowed down a vibe I like for both of them. I think Minato seeing Mamoru and thinking maybe he's been too happy to be distant and let the others do their own thing would def be interesting though
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writingforaliens · 5 months
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I don't really subscribe to the "Mystra groomed Gale" fan theory (we know Larian is playing fast and loose with official Faerun timelines, but she only reappeared in 1487). Their relationship was more along the lines of a PhD candidate and their department chair is one of the top researchers in the field and their advisor, who initiates the relationship. (Or maybe he's among the top researchers, but she's the one who controls funding and grants and publishing and conferences.) He walked into that relationship flattered and thrilled and proud, only to realize after a while that Mystra is holding his metaphorical grades and thesis and future research opportunities hostage. And what is he if not his genius intellect?
Mystra's attention was flattering, but she could just as easily move on to the next hot young genius with the Weave. So he has to do the only thing he knows he is good for: be a genius with it. He wants knowledge (don't we all), she's rightfully gatekeeping it, and he knows that if he pushes, she'll toss him aside, frustrated with him. We get the impression that she only told him to stop wanting, but didn't give any reason why. Maybe Gale, in hubris, didn't listen. But no matter. Gale is convinced he's only good for his Magic, and Mystra is only with him for it, so he tries to do what any of us would do: impress her.
Why does Gale believe that he's only good for his Magic? Because society groomed him. Society viewed him as the genius wizard. Teachers only praised his abilities. He gets attention not for his other skills or personality traits, but because he's an eight year old who can cast Fireball with ease at at time when Mystra has barely started reconstituting herself. Society taught him the only thing people noticed was his skill. Look around at how many former gifted kids hit walls doing undergrad or grad school, don't understand how to take notes or how to study because it's always been innate, and burn out. Being able to read collegiate materials is no longer impressive when everyone is reading collegiate materials. A huge part of the identity of gifted kids, praised since childhood on their academic talents, gets lost when they hit this wall or realize they're no longer special. (Trust me, being teachers' pet and doing top-notch academically gives you an ego. Doubly so if your family are academics, which we have some evidence that Gale's family is at least moderately wealthy and/or connected with other mages.)
Is Mystra's relationship with ANY of her Chosen a good thing? I'd still say no, unless they both can keep it platonic and mentoring. (I had a great professor in college who did just that: mentored me. My high school physics teacher is still a friend. He was a guest at my wedding.) As soon as romance or sex enters that relationship, it's gonna be a bad time, even if the romance is one-sided on the part of the mortal. It's inherently difficult, shaky ground for a relationship, because of the power dynamics. If you piss her off enough, she can take your connection to the Weave away, and the closer you are to the situation, the more likely you are to think someone deserves punishment. And if she does punish you, it feels like not just a fall from grace but also like you are particularly a problem. There are evil mages all over, and Mystra hasn't taken their powers (the Weave is True Neutral, but still...you think every mortal mage is going to understand that if you eliminate the evil users it actually destabilizes the Weave?). She's the only god who can't really punish those that dramatically deviate from her alignment, because of what she is the god of. Think about that. Every other god can say "you are not following my rules, get out". She can only say that to her clerics and paladins (5e can kiss my ass, paladins need a patron to hear their promise), maybe to her Chosen, but certainly not to anyone who uses her power.
I love Gale, but this really puts things in a different light.
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fuckmeyer · 6 months
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HEY i'm having unhinged carlisle/edward thoughts again and i had to come into your inbox to share them because YOU DID THIS TO ME--
but truly. like. the bond between creator and created. (this may or may not have been inspired by a conversation with su-angelvicioso about yknow. a different ship) the creator recognizes themself in the created, the created knows the creator because they were shaped so fundamentally by them...so any time they're looking at the other person they're seeing themself, but also any time they see themself they're seeing the other...there's no way to define yourself except in the differences and similarities you have to this person who you know more intimately than anyone else in the world, except really your view of them will ALWAYS be distorted by your view of yourself...like!!!!
edward thinks carlisle is perfect because he thinks of himself as a monster. carlisle thinks edward is the best of all of them, the reason to believe vampires have souls, because it's the only way for him NOT to believe he himself is a monster!!! edward hates and fears carlisle for being a standard he can never measure up to, but he loves him because he is that standard, and he keeps forgiving him...but maybe actually the forgiveness just makes him hate carlisle MORE because edward doesn't WANT to be forgiven!!! carlisle thinks of edward as his own redemption, but that means he'll never actually fully see edward and he can't actually forgive him in a meaningful way!!! they're obsessed with each other, but neither one of them can actually express that to the other!!!!!!! holy FUCK they're a MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(sorry this is not even a question, my brain is just scrambled eggs about them now apparently)
THIS IS IT I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE SPACE TO TALK ABOUT CARLWARD I SWEAR I AM GOING A LITTLE FERAL OVER THIS SHIP? FORGIVE ME THIS ASK SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE POIGNANT BUT IM JUST GONNA SAY STUFF OK
THE BOND BETWEEN CREATOR AND CREATED!!!! YES!!!!!!!
the creator recognizes themself in the created, the created knows the creator because they were shaped so fundamentally by them. [...] your view of them will ALWAYS be distorted by your view of yourself
and isn't it just so beautiful when we put Carlisle & Edward's canon relationship in this context! i wrote this in another post but:
Carlisle believes Heaven exists because of Edward.
Heaven is not a place for the damned creatures like vampires, but a place for humanity.
which means!!!! Carlisle has chosen to see his own humanity in his son. for all it entails. its light, its shadows, all the shades of gray in between. and, yes!, the scary thing is, this is the only way Carlisle can believe he himself is not a monster - to see his progeny thrive within Carlisle's philosophy.
but the beautiful thing is he accepts Edward. he loves Edward. always. no matter what. & this is what allows him to participate in society, to take the Hippocratic Oath, to live a life of vegetarianism: Carlisle loves humanity in all its forms, BECAUSE OF AND IN SPITE OF EDWARD.
and Edward!!! Edward is the physical manifestation of Carlisle's beliefs. for better or worse. on the surface, Edward is a vegetarian vampire, med school grad, etc., and who wants to believe in the value of human life. (he doesn't always live up to this in day-to-day interactions obvi.)
on a deeper level, he has grappled with questions re: humanity, especially his place within his preconceived idea of Humanity. he considers himself damned, just as Carlisle does. (perhaps, even, the darkest part of Carlisle doubts the existence of his own soul.) he spends the entire series rebelling against the idea of his soul & his worthiness of love while battling his own monstrous nature.
but unlike Carlisle, Edward has actually gone out and tested these ideas. can i still have a soul if i'm a vampire? can i still be human if i kill bad people? can i still be human if i take away life? can i still be human if i do x, think y, say z?
because Carlisle doesn't necessarily have the space to do what Edward did. not just because of his busy schedule as a doctor, but his coping mechanisms, his compartmentalization required to live this vegetarian life, his religion (/religious trauma?), & his position as a coven leader do not afford him the luxury of testing these ideas himself.
at the end of the day, Carlisle can never do what Edward did. if Carlisle is going to 'save' other vampires, he needs to be (at least outwardly) secure in the notion that he has saved himself. even if he isn't.
Edward can go further, dig deeper, and that allows Carlisle to go further, too.
and in that context, god, how beautiful is it that Carlisle just has this unwavering, unconditional acceptance of Edward? that through the darkness and mistakes, there is something worth loving? that through this acceptance, Edward finds his soul in the end?
like, the breakdown of the relationship is:
to Edward, Carlisle is a god.
to Carlisle, Edward is a man, i.e., a disciple of his teachings.
& in that context, how beautiful is it that, baseline, Carlisle & Edward share this deep, spiritual love for each other that will never be broken? FUCK that hits
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hadeantaiga · 4 months
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I wish I'd gone on meds for my anxiety sooner.
When I was getting my new undergrad degree six years ago, my then-therapist and I decided not to put me on meds, and to just teach me real coping strategies. That did help at the time, but the truth was, I was still relying on all my old strategies. I was still having panic attacks. I was still dealing with procrastination and executive functioning issues. At one point, I had a bit of a breakdown as I processed the fact that I thought this was just going to be my life forever: there was always going to be this time bomb in my head, waiting to go off, to send me into another panicking spiral.
I made it through undergrad, and got to grad school. I managed to cope for two years, but at the end of year three I broke down again. The "wait until the panic overcomes the procrastination and then binge work to finish the assignment" was not a technique that worked well in grad school, plus... it just... stopped working.
My brain had used too much adrenaline. It was broken. I could no longer panic-work.
I thought maybe it was ADHD causing these mountains of stress, making it impossible to work, because most people don't really talk about anxiety causing executive dysfunction. A thorough ADHD assessment (designed for children) that cost me $400 came back inconclusive, though an expert in adult ADHD who talked to me years prior said I had it.
So who knows if I have ADHD.
But I DEFINITELY have anxiety.
At this point my anxiety was in the 7-9 range on a daily basis. So my current psychiatrist said "I can't give you ADHD meds, and I know you don't believe it's the anxiety causing all this, but let's try out a daily anxiety med anyway". And since I was so stressed out, I gave it a try.
And it wasn't instant, it wasn't a huge change, it wasn't the miracle drug I'd heard people describe Adderall being. It didn't magically give me the ability to focus. But... it did make life a little better. I was still anxious but the heavy dread wasn't there. With some effort, I could actually work. My friends helped a lot, and we had writing days.
I noticed other things: events that in the past would have caused anxiety spirals weren't affecting me the same way. I wasn't feeling anxiety from moments of perceived disappointment from my advisors. I wasn't panicking about random events in my life.
It wasn't a huge difference, but it was enough to keep me working. And I'm incredibly thankful for it. I'm going to keep taking it, especially as my life becomes less stressful, because I want to see how relaxed and happy I actually can be. I consider myself a very chill, optimistic, positive person in general. I want to see how much more at peace I can be knowing there's not a bomb in my head. Waiting for the next thing that's going to cause a panic attack is exhausting. What will life be like without that?
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asterlark · 1 month
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life update!!!
okay so idk if i've talked about this here but i spent multiple months last fall working very hard on grad school applications and ended up applying to 3 different schools for masters programs for distance/online learning since i don't want to/can't really move for in-person school currently (also not saying what concentration i'm going for & what schools bc i'm trying not to dox myself lol)
and over the last month i've been so so anxious bc this is the time frame for the schools getting back to me on their decisions... i got one acceptance... then a notification that i was placed on the waitlist for another school & would hear back in march... then a second acceptance..... and just now i got an update from the school that waitlisted me (also my top choice!!) that i've been accepted!!!!
this is wild to me because despite so much encouragement from friends i never truly believed i could get in to all three schools i applied to, i'm so used to expecting rejection that i'm still somewhat in shock but also so so excited and grateful and just AAAAAA
this is a lot to process since i'm simultaneously experiencing heavy grief from losing two people important to me over the past few months, but i'm trying to remember that life really is just joy and pain jumbled together in a big chaotic mess and it's okay (even necessary!!) to feel every horrible and beautiful and terrifying thing all at once
getting great news amidst feeling so much pain and grief is confusing and scary even as it's incredibly exciting, and i'm trying to have grace for myself to feel all the things i feel without judgement or shame. i AM proud of myself though and i am starting to feel like the hard work i've put in (and am still putting in) in therapy & in rebuilding my life in general is paying off in how i treat myself & have hope for the future even as i feel so desperately sad.
if you're also going through it i am sending all my psychic beams of caring energy your way, and if you're also trying to celebrate something or find moments of joy while the rest of your life & the world are on fire i'm strapping on a little party hat and celebrating with you. we CAN and WILL get through this and there is so much joy to come and cool people to meet and cute animals to pet!!! hold my hand we'll go there together!!!!
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emotionsandphenomena · 2 months
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okay I made this post last week but it didn't save to drafts tragically. it's time to talk about Obsessive Guy Eroticism.
it's a pretty pervasive element of the romance novels I have sampled, the man being obsessed with his love interest, often long before she admits interest (even to herself), and sometimes to an intensity level we are not fully privy to - especially in Ali's case, where she has only recently started dabbling in dual POV. if we're not inside his head, we're not going to see how crazy he's going for her. but as genre-aware readers, we can often pick it up from the woman's narration, even when she's dismissing it. that's what we're going to look at today, with Levi and Bee from love on the brain.
for some overview - Levi and Bee knew each other several years ago in grad school, and are now working together again on a project. Levi was in love with her at the time and still is; she believed he hated her and is now gradually warming to him.
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here, Levi is remembering, to the letter, something that bee said at least five years ago, and likely not to him. normal! at this point in the narrative we don't know Levi's specific feelings for her, but again, we are genre aware readers. we know. bee is able to remain blissfully ignorant, while we get the titillation of obliquely acknowledging his crush.
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again, same thing. Levi is Noticing Things King, and bee finds a way to brush it off. I think for the reader, this is a really good way to give into the pleasure of being seen and understood without having to face it head on. it's exciting to think about a guy who has memorized every aspect of you, right? well, it is if he's built and 6'4 and sensitive and smart and you're in his car and it's almost nighttime and he wants you to come over to his house because you lost your keys and actually you don't really know this guy that well and. um. is it exciting? or could it be a little bit scary? hold on, gotta make a pit stop and address this:
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okay! no, no worries everyone, the guy who's obsessed with you isn't creepy. we feel a pervasive and inexplicable sense of safety around him, it's all good. more than that, he is very concerned about the possibility of seeming creepy. this is such a fascinating choice to me. for a book that is very much about the realities of sexism in the workplace (featuring explicitly gendered violence), it makes sense to address this head-on. personally I would say this passage is not really getting into why bee feels safe around Levi specifically, but in the book at large id say there's two reasons. watsonian: at this point in the novel, Levi has physically saved bee multiple times (from fainting+cemetery entrapment) and defended her in workplace settings. he's proven himself to be A Good One, altho in my opinion that doesn't necessarily lessen the threat of being alone at night (!) with a man you don't know that well (!) in his house (!!!). but then there's our doylist explanation: Ali writes soulmates, emphasis on the mate. it doesn't enter the narrative explicitly until her fourth adult novel (love on the brain is her second), but it's all over her fanfic and her most influential texts (twilight, psy-changeling). our main pair are drawn together, instantly attracted, obsessed with each others' scent, etc etc. that's not, as the Goodreads reviewers often allege, lazy writing. it's the point. the fantasy is a man who is not only Erotically Obsessed with her, he can't help it. and neither can she, and that's okay, because she feels safe around him. in order for this fantasy to work for someone who does not already have this specific fantasy, I think conversations like this are necessary - we have to be reassured that he's not, like, scary. in her view or ours. no 🚩🚩🚩 to be seen.
so they're soulmates, even though we're not going to acknowledge that on page (in this book). but I do like the button of this scene, in which we get some groundwork laid for the reversal of the dynamic. "he fell first, she fell harder" does not really apply for most Ali pairings, but I like that bee here is laying out for us the ways in which she will be falling for Levi once she realizes hes not married/doesnt hate her/etc.
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in conclusion, I like my Obsessive Eroticism guys from Ali a lot, although I do often find them to be grating in other romance novels. often they don't walk this line finely enough, and the paternalism gets on my nerves, largely bc it's written like it's a normal way to be. I appreciate that ali's guys are freaks and they know they're freaks, and they hate themselves for it. crushed and broken just the way women like em etc etc. but that's a different post I'll save for when not in love is actually out.
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There was a post I saw recently about how there isn't a Narrative in real life and believing there is can be really bad for you. And, it was mostly about taking pain medication when you need to because suffering isn't valorous (true), but it really hit me.
Because about ten years ago I decided I wanted to go to graduate school, get my PhD, and go into academia. I spent nine years doing that, and then realized it just wasn't good for me, and left my grad school program three months ago.
And everyone keeps asking me what I want to do next and I don't fucking know. Because I had my Narrative! I spent years on it! It was integral to my sense of self! But it was very bad for me. Maybe it could have worked if certain things had gone right instead of wrong, but it didn't.
And the standard narrative for leaving grad school is that you immediately leap to something better. You go to industry and make more money, you start a company in a garage, etc. People want me to have that story, they want to be comforted by the fact that this was just a small hurdle on the way to What I'm Supposed To Be.
But I can't just swap in a new life goal overnight, not after getting so burned by the pursuit of the last one. And it sucks because I also want the comfort of a narrative for myself: who I am and where I'm going and what I want. But it still feels like a trap at this point, like I'd repeat the mistake of picking something and sticking with it while it made me miserable.
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roosterforme · 1 year
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Right Girl, Wrong Time Part 10 | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader
Summary: You missed out on a lot of things when you lived in Chicago, because you didn't want to do them without Bradley. On a very important trip, you and he both visit the city together.
Warnings: Fluff, smut and swears
Length: 1500 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader (former fuckboy college student Bradley)
This is a sequel to accompany my story Old Habits Die Hard (you'll want to read that one first)!
Check my profile for my masterlist
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Five Months Later...
"I can't believe we're willingly flying to Chicago in January," you complained with a bright smile on your face. 
"This was your idea, Sugar," Bradley reminded you, holding up both boarding passes for the airline gate agent to scan. "It's not too late to stay in Vegas or fly to Fiji like I originally wanted."
"No, no. We're going to Chicago together," you told him, taking his hand as you boarded your flight from Las Vegas to O'Hare. Bradley spun your rings around on your finger as you located your seats and settled in. 
"Chicago in January. Two days before a blizzard is due to arrive. Are we about to go on the shittiest honeymoon ever?" he asked, kissing your lips. 
You laughed and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Listen, we just had Elvis marry us yesterday on the Vegas strip. We had a quickie wedding after being engaged for five weeks, and I'm not even pregnant. Now we're about to get snowed in together in Chicago. You'll be stuck in a room with me for a week. I don't think a conventional honeymoon is what we needed, Beer Boy."
Bradley tipped his head back and laughed. "Actually, now that you mention it, being snowed in with you sounds like a dream, Sugar. What am I even complaining about?"
"I don't know," you whispered against his scars. "You get me and Chicago deep dish pizza around the clock if you want it."
"I want it," he confirmed. "You can feed me pizza naked in bed after we have sex. And then I'll get hard again, we can have sex again, and you can feed me more pizza. It sounds like the perfect week. Chicago in January is everything I ever wanted."
You were shaking with silent laughter as the flight attendant went over the safety instructions, and soon you were in the air. And then you fell asleep on your husband's shoulder. Bradley jostled you awake in time to see the city all lit up against a snowy backdrop as the plane descended into Chicago. 
"Are you ready for this?" you asked, standing next to him with your bags, about to walk outside to get a taxi. "It's three degrees out there."
"Yeah, I'm ready," Bradley mumbled, but he looked scared. "No problem."
Once you and he were outside, he was practically crying as you took care of hailing a ride to the hotel. "You have thin Californian blood now," you told him as he snuggled up next to you in the back seat. You kissed his icy cold nose and forehead as you headed through the city where you lived for four years during grad school. "It's embarrassing, Bradley. I married a Californian."
He shivered in your arms and said, "We're both Virginians, Sugar. I just hate being cold."
You were playing with his hair and kissing along his ear as he melted into you. Every time you thought about the crazy juxtaposition that your life had become, you felt tears in your eyes. You had missed Bradley terribly when you were living in Chicago and still even after you graduated with your PhD. So it just felt right that he was here with you now.
"That's where I got my second tattoo," you whispered as the taxi drove slowly down a side street. 
Bradley looked out the window and smiled. "Should be a historic landmark."
Your laughter filled the small space as he kissed you. Then he paid the cab fare, and you had never seen him move as fast as he did when he hauled all of the luggage inside to the warm hotel lobby. 
"Let's go get a good night's sleep," you told him as he carried everything to the elevator and then into the hotel room. 
"We're not sleeping," he said, shaking his head. "You're going to snuggle with me until I'm warm again, which could take hours, and then I'm fucking you for the rest of the night."
He wasn't lying. You pulled him into bed with you, and held his body close, softly kissing him and telling him how happy you were. 
"I love you, Sugar. I loved you ten years ago, and I love you today, and I'll still be loving you ten years from now."
Slowly and meticulously, he undressed you beneath the blankets, touching and kissing each new bit of skin as it was exposed. He took extra time and gave extra attention to your tattoos, just like he always did. 
"I've been in love with you since the first time you wore my bathrobe," he told you before pressing his lips to the valley between your breasts as you giggled. "No, before that. Since the first time I watched you put a bottle of beer to your perfect lips." He kissed his way up to your mouth, lingering there until you were sighing against him. 
"You've been in love with me since you met me then? Is that what you're trying to say, Beer Boy?"
He groaned as he slid his length inside you. "God, I fucking love it when you call me that. Every single time. And yes, Sugar, ever since I met you."
You made love to your husband all night, your hands and eyes roving over his body as you told him how happy you were that you both ended up at your class reunion in Virginia. That he was at the same bar as you that night last summer. 
When you both finally fell asleep, it was a long time before you woke up. Room service had already switched from breakfast to lunch, but Bradley got them to agree to send up a pot of coffee along with your lunch order. You and he ate all bundled up in bed together with the curtains open, the first flurries of snow falling outside as the storm moved in. 
"We need to head out soon so we can get back before it gets dark," you told him as he sipped his coffee. 
His expression looked unimpressed, but he nodded anyway. "Yeah. Let's go, Sugar."
The taxi dropped you both off at the edge of the park as the sidewalks were getting slick from the snow. There were only a few people out and about, and even in the middle of the day, the sunlight was struggling to break through the heavy, gray clouds. Bradley had his arm wrapped around your shoulders as you approached The Bean together. You stood side by side, examining if for a moment in silence. 
"It's just a big, metallic bean," you said, leaning into Bradley as the wind picked up.
"I knew it would be dumb as hell, Sugar," he replied, gesturing at it with his hand like there was no good explanation for what they were seeing.
You wrapped your arms around his middle and looked up at him as you started cracking up. "I'm glad I didn't see it without you. It was worth the wait."
"You were worth the wait. The Bean, maybe less so," he replied, kissing you as you took your phone out. 
After you took a bunch of selfies and texted some to Nat, you looked at Bradley and hummed. His cheeks were bright pink from the cold, and the tip of his nose was getting red. He was perfect, and he was all yours. 
"Have you given much thought to a little Bradshaw bean?" you asked as snowflakes stuck on his mustache. 
"Bradshaw bean?" he asked. His brow was creased before it started to smooth out. "Are you saying what I think you're saying, Sugar?"
You nodded and kissed his pink cheek. "Yeah, Beer Boy. A little baby Bradshaw bean. Just something to think about."
Both of you thought about it and talked about it as you stood in front of the giant bean in the middle of a blizzard. But you didn't need to make all of your decisions right now. You weren't planning on being without Bradley ever again. 
------------------------
THANK YOU for reading along on this adventure with me! Beer Boy/Man and Sugar belong together, and I'm happy she gets to take him to Chicago, even if it's during a blizzard! I hope you had as much fun as I did! Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
Please visit the one-shot The Grateful Dad for some more Beer Boy and Sugar!
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copperbadge · 2 years
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Hey Sam!
Thank you for sharing about your journey with your adult diagnosis of inattentive type ADHD. It led me to understand and (for the moment) self diagnose myself with the same thing (my brother says he might have the same thing too!).
I can't remember if you speak about experiencing it, but for me Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria especially was a revelation, and explains SO much of the intense cringe and people pleasing drive I experience. So does the lack of full awareness of my body moving through an environment.
Like you, I think I've done well in school (and then grad school) because of a possibly high intelligence level - it was never NOT a struggle to meet deadlines etc.
Unlike you though, I don't have a job that matches my background, and being unemployed thru COVID did a real number on my finances. I'm back living with my parents. And while my mom agreed that I have a real bad memory and didn't finish things I start, she didn't agree that I have ADHD. I realise that's because I hid so much from the world about my struggles with focusing and TCBing, not to mention my imaginary fantasies (always preferrable to real life). I was so desperate to appear 'normal'.
I'm in my 40s now, and single, and I'm... angry.
I wonder how different I and my life might've been if I'd been diagnosed earlier. If I were a boy and had hyperactivity, I probably would've been diagnosed immediately. I got good grades and went to a good university and got a good job (well, at least until COVID) and so it just seemed to everyone that I had it together.
Don’t get me wrong. I'm not ungrateful for my life and its opportunities, but it's heartbreaking to realise I've spent half my life not living up to my full potential - and even worse, just hating on myself the whole time! Believing my mom and thinking I was just lazy.
I was not the person I could've been if I'd been performing at max through my 20s and 30s. I did not live the life I was meant to live - the life I could've lived.
At least now, because of you, I've had a total paradigm shift, and am undoing decades of self-hate.
Thank you Sam. You changed my life because you chose to share yours.
Hey, I’m glad I could help! Even if (for both of us) it’s a bit of a mixed blessing. 
I haven’t spoken much about RSD, I think because it’s the part I have the most trouble accepting I might be dealing with; I’ve posted a bit about it here and I just...really don’t love it conceptually and I don’t at all like my attitude towards it. I wish I could say I’m processing it but I’m mostly ignoring it, for now. Perhaps eventually. 
I’m sorry you’ve had such rotten employment fortune recently; it’s rough to have to move back in with your parents when you don’t want to, especially when the disability aspect is as fraught as it is for you (and for me as well). Hopefully you and your brother can find some common ground and be a bit of a support for each other, but I know how sibling relationships can go too. For what it’s worth, while my work is very suited to my disposition and some of my training, I actually went to school for theatre arts -- giving up a career in theatre was a real rough process, and I still feel bad about it sometimes. I’m grateful for the education I got and the experiences I had, and I do love the job I have now, so I try not to feel as though I wasted my college education and graduate school time on it, but every once in a while I wince when I think of it. 
I think it’s extremely natural to be angry; a lot of people I’ve read about and know personally, who’ve had later diagnoses, feel the same as you do. I think I’m fortunate in that sense that I don’t feel angrier -- or perhaps I will eventually, someday. Tough to know if it’s acceptance or denial, which is funny given they’re on opposite sides of the tired old five-stages trope. In any case, the anger I have is very old and I’ve dealt with it a long time. Could life have been different if I’d had more attention earlier in my education, would I have made different choices if I’d had more information and support? Perhaps. But I already knew that; the unfairness of my childhood was already pretty plain to me, and I’ve done my best to deal with and accept that. Which is helpful when you’re faced with a reiteration of it, as it were. 
But I’m also glad that you feel like things are shifting, that you’re able to start unpicking the unfairness of a late diagnosis and the justifiable anger you feel around it. It’s the attitude to have, for sure, the idea of undoing the self-hate. Keep on at that, concern yourself with yourself, and let the anger at others be a byproduct of the work, something you know you’ll eventually shed. (Even if that’s tough to do when you’re living with them.) Good luck -- and keep at it!
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three--rings · 1 year
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Hello! Sorry to bother but I am waaay too curious
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If you have time/energy/mood, could you please elaborate? I am curious about your perspective. Psychology is one of my biggest passions and I want to start a degree in it (with possibility to advance further with the degree maybe) I am aware of some of its flaws, and the fact that it can be biased and inconclusive and not exactly exact and precise like the other sciences. Is there anything else that perhaps I should keep an eye out on? Thank you for reading and if you reply, thank you for replying as well.
So the thing about studying psychology, especially at the undergrad level, is that you spend all your time being taught about these landmark studies that defined the thinking of decades of psychology theory and practice.
And then at some point, which may be during or after your education, you learn all of those studies were terrible research bullshit that can't be reliably reproduced even if they could get past a modern ethics board.
Psychology is a field that is really uncomfortable with itself because it desperately wants to be taken seriously as a hard science and not be thought of as just people thinking about people. But it is REALLY REALLY bad at being a hard science. The research is just not rigorous at ALL.
My senior year of undergrad for my research methods class my group of slackers who rarely went to class put together a research study where we drew up entirely new models and tools that looked far better than the published ones, applied them to a much larger and more diverse population of subjects and basically put the leading research in that little niche to shame. On the weekends. Our prof wanted us to publish but we were graduating and it never happened. We sent it to the leading researcher in the field and he was all...uh, yeah, I'm working on some new stuff too...but good for y'all. He was a known prick though.
Like, it's not that there's not good stuff in there somewhere. But my god there's so much chaff.
Then you get into the grad school degree maelstorm and...ugh. There are a lot of options. They are split into practical i.e. you want to help people in the real world and clinical i.e. you want to do shitty studies and publish.
I worked both in psychology research (so I got to see how the sausage was made on the ground) and in social work for mental health care and...most of my coworkers at both jobs had some kind of advanced degrees and were making something around $30K doing the same jobs as me. There are far too many people with masters in psychology because they are easy to get and even if you get your LPC they are still way too many people with them with no idea what they are doing. Like you can go to Christian College Number 304 and get your Marriage and Family Therapy masters and come out and have only learned to Pray On It and do some supervised hours and now you're licensed and yeah I worked with these people. (Go get your masters, they told me. It is SO EASY they told me. Uh, yeah that's not winning me over to your program.)
Anyway, if you can't tell I'm jaded. Besides the fact that the field is one that will eat you alive, burn you out, and then spit you up, with no money and no accomplishments. I also deeply loved it even though it destroyed me. (I mean also my spine exploded, which didn't help.)
If you want to do hands-on helping people stuff I like the social work programs out there. And if you want to study hard science of human behavior neuroscience is killing it. Psychology is...IDK. The most hopeful way to look at it is that it's a discipline going through a transitional period maybe. But I'm also fairly out of touch with the field these days so talking to someone actually in the field now would be a good call for further advice. Unfortunately most faculty in my experience are...deeply behind the times. You would not believe the kind of 1960s relics I had to deal with teaching me.
And most of what I learned about mental health I learned on the ground, in mental health crisis work, on the go. Most of psychology doesn't really enjoy dealing with "abnormal psychology". Which is literally the term for people with any mental health diagnosis. I had one class on it.
So that's my entirely personal experience based opinion. For more, look into the replication crisis of psychology research.
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sarahjtv · 6 months
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My Hero Academia Chapter 403: The End of an Era and The Beginning
It's been a while since I did this mainly due to being busy with Grad School (which I'm almost done with thank god). But, I don't think a chapter has gotten me this hyped since Shoto Todoroki: Rising and Ochako's chapter where she saves Toga. Since the chapter is officially released, I can scream, cry, and kick my feet with you all in these bullet points. God, I love My Hero Academia, y'all.
• First off, HOLY SHIT KATSUKI BAKUGO IS ALIVE!!!!!! Apparently, it has been over 400 days since he was initially killed and brought every Bakugo lover to their knees in tears including myself. I still remember leaks night when that happened and pretty much everyone was in mourning. Then leaks night happens for his revival and everyone is celebrating like it's the second coming of Christ or something and I'm with them!
• We all knew that Bakugo would come back to life once Edgeshot started surgery on his heart, but it was the way his resurrection would be executed that I was wondering about. I can see why the whole "Edgeshot suddenly sacrifices himself to save Bakugo" would lessen the impact of his "death", but I really don't care much anymore because the way Kohei Horikoshi brought Bakugo back was SO good!
• Think about it: All Might is on the brink of death in the hands of All For One. All the red flags are there including the flashback of baby Toshinori (SO CUTE BTW LOOK AT THAT BIG LAUGH🥺) and his mother (whom he absolutely inherited his hairstyle from) in this very chapter. Gentle wants to help save him, but he's focused on keeping UA in the air. Every pro hero, UA student, and the Big 3 are either severely injured, passed out, or too preoccupied with something else to take on AFO. And even Izuku Midoriya, his protege, is busy dealing with Tomura Shigaraki in order to prevent him from turning Japan into dust. The only other person who can possibly save All Might now is Bakugo despite probably still being seriously injured himself.
• And this is great for Bakugo because this is his chance to save All Might. Not only is All Might his idol and his hero, but he is also the man Bakugo truly believes he destroyed after being kidnapped in Kamino Ward. I still believe Bakugo hasn't truly forgiven himself for that yet and this would be his way of redeeming himself. This reason alone is why I don't think All Might will die in this final arc. And if he does, I will be devastated because I really want to see him survive until the end.
• I am going to conclude this by commenting on how incredible Horikoshi is not just as a writer but as an artist because holy shit he needed that 2 week break. We got an incredible WSJ-colored Cover Page, a chapter-colored cover page, and then 15 pages of peak fiction. Those final pages once it's revealed that Bakugo is alive will live in my head rent-free for the rest of my days. ESPECIALLY THOSE LAST TWO PAGES HOLY SHIT! THE FACES, THE TEARS, THE WAY TIME SUDDENLY STOPPED WHEN THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER 💚🧡 The way Horikoshi draws All Might, Bakugo, and Deku is astounding and makes me cry. Those are his adopted sons. Those boys are soulmates in some capacity whether you like it or not. It may be the end of All Might's era, but it's the beginning of a new era; a new generation of heroes with Deku and Bakugo taking the lead. I can't wait for next week!
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hot-take-tournament · 8 months
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Lactose intolerance and a milk allergy are significantly different. Lactose intolerance makes people sick, but even a small amount of milk can kill someone with a milk allergy. Sorry to be so serious about it when you were clearly trying to be lighthearted but it's a really dangerous misconception that people with milk allergies can drink milk. People give me things with milk in all the time because they think I'm lactose intolerant and don't believe me when I tell them it could kill me.
no it's totally ok - this is genuinely a really important point
i know in that post i conflated the two as examples of you guys' bizarre habit of constantly eating the specific things that you are medically averse to, both intolerances and what i assume are mild allergies - unless you seriously are all hospitalising yourselves repeatedly because you refuse to stop eating pineapple
but allergies and intolerances are not the same thing, and i can't stress enough how important it is to know the differences between the two
if you have lactose intolerance you might still be able to have a limited amount of milk (though it varies), and it will make you nauseous if you have too much - but a serious allergic reaction is absolutely life-threatening
literally the last thing i want to do is spread this kind of misconception, so i'm going to add a link to this post in the first one
(also, i know it probably seems obvious, but i do still want to make it clear that even though i used lactose as an example (because it's the most common intolerance and the one from the original post) other allergies are also misinterpreted all the time - when i was in grad school one of my classmates went into severe anyphylactic shock because people assumed her wheat allergy was just gluten intolerance)
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