#can’t y’all just play songs from EVERY album >:
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My rapidly changing thoughts on Ttpd clues (and on some of y’all’s behavior)
The twos, the black and white contrasts, and the nods to past albums feel like a symbol for duality, life and death, dying and rebirth
If that’s the theme of just one album, the up and down books could be the ups and downs of grief, titles of songs that represent moments of despair vs hope
If there is a dual album release, I wonder if it’s an evermore folklore sisterhood album situation where after grief comes hope etc, a quill fountain pen album before a glitter pen album release
Maybe she’s releasing the albums 2 weeks apart, a fortnight, and maybe that’s got other symbolism behind it
I think 2 more albums would bring her to 13, yes? Maybe a new release + reptv on dec 13?
Her bday also makes sense with death and birth themes
2 more albums and then she moves on to whatever her rebirth is? New stage in her career? Marriage? (Though tbh I don’t see Travis as her endgame sorry)
Everything about my knowledge of literature and art history screams that the fertility goddess crumbling is about more than a passing witty lyric, it feels like a symbol for miscarriage or abortion
While I doubt she’d write about abortion due to the safety risk of insane half literate forced birthers while she’s on tour, it would be so so so incredibly powerful to hear a song about complex abortion or miscarriage grief with how republicans are harming women/afab folx in the US right now
Realistically the symbol of crumbling fertility could more likely represent how she can’t wait to move on to the next phase of her life or career without crumbling / she started to crumble when she put her own goals off, it’s giving “my biological clock is ticking” which as a woman about her age I can say is a VERY real feeling even outside of fertility topics (it’s a mid life check in point) , but she probably doesn’t mean it quite so literally as being related to fertility.
She’s not coming out. As a bisexual I’d love her on our team, but y’all are unhinged if you think this is a “surprise I’m queer/trans” album. Even if she was queer I highly doubt she’d make that announcement during an international tour for safety alone. It’s also incredibly offensive as a bi woman to hear people say she’s staying neutral to queer bait or appease people when all she’s done is date who she is (at least publicly) comfortable dating. That is her prerogative, even if she’s attracted to more than one gender. This kind of rhetoric is not only biphobic but disregards the very real safety risks involved with coming out, especially as a celebrity with as many eyes on her as Taylor. Do all allies have to become queer to be safe from queer bait accusations? Come on. Stop putting her in a box where the only way she can please you is by being queer.
The leaks? Yes she’s a billionaire, yes physical record purchases help, but you’re taking away from her numbers and therefore the immense social and economic power she currently holds. Streams = numbers = power in a corporation run society. Every leak you play or promote is one less stream. It’s not that hard to understand, if you want her to keep making waves ya gotta wait like a grown up my darlings
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Anything with todo pleaseeeeeee ! He doesn’t get enough love 😔
Thank you <3333
AN// OMG FACTS!!! i love him so much he’s so underrated i could talk about that for hours
Aoi Todo Headcanons
DATING WOULD INCLUDE
f!reader
actual king of treating you right
i firmly believe you’d be older than him - something about him with an older women is ~~
i’m thinking within 3-4 years older ?
you’re a sorcerer or some type of faculty at the school
it’s like the moment he sees you every little thing in his universe is about you and only you
you’re like uh oh when he starts showing up at your door
he absolutely towers over you his arm is the size of you let’s be real
god he’s so doting
stares at you with sparkles in his eyes as he watches you do your thing
you’re always shooing him off as he needs to go to class or train
and isn’t it a little weird since you work for the school he attends?
he slowly becomes like a little brother to you as you’re not sure how to move things forward with him you’re a little scared never dated someone younger
and he’s a strong personality not many can handle extended periods of time with him
but you
the two of you love spending time together- playing video games, going to farmers markets, sharing music
he has a whole album dedicated to the songs you show him
memorizes all your favorite foods and how to make them
remembers basically everything you tell him mans is a genius
never ceases to surprise you- some days it’s flowers, others it’s treats
it’s so hard for you to keep looking at him like a friend
his hearty laugh always has your attention even if you’re across the room
both of you feel your hearts race, palms sweat, pink cheeks in each other’s presence
the way you two immediately jerk your hands away when they accidentally touch
when he catches you in a bone crushing hug after coming back from a mission
definitely the type to rub your feet after a long day
loves talking to you about everything he’s done that day or how his missions go
and listens to every word you speak like it’s his own gospel
and it’s killing you because you can’t keep pushing yourself away from falling for him
when he tells itadori about how he feels about you- he definitely pushes todo to confess
he’s never been so nervous in his life like he’d rather fight a special grade right now
he’s nervous you can tell
but so are you because the air feels different
it’s not often todo shows up at your door unannounced unless somethings wrong
he’s sweating and isn’t looking you in the eyes
“todo?”
his eyes are filled with passion when he meets your gaze
“i love you and i can’t keep it inside anymore. you are what keeps me breathing,”
you don’t let him continue before you’re hugging his large torso looking up at him as you don’t even meet his shoulders
“kiss me todo,”
he doesn’t waste a second to scoop you up and press his lips to yours
it’s like sparks are flying, a fire burning deep inside as you sensually kiss with all the love in the world
“i feel the same way todo, i’ve loved you for awhile now and i was too scared to say anything”
“from now on i devote every ounce of myself to you,” he says it so confidentially but you know he means it
after y’all finally together? good luck getting rid of him in any capacity
gets all jobs done with such strength and efficiency so he can make it back for your cooking
definitely was holding back when y’all were just friends in a lot of ways
is the protective type. always keeping you in his sights or a hand on you when you’re out
scares any man away with ease
hard to say if he gets jealous; probably does but is very confident in your relationship
he does feel insecure about how he is younger than you- how he can’t even drink yet to accompany you to the bar with your friends. meets guys your age you’ve known for years and will feel nervous
will never argue, only communicate. but you are always reassuring him when he feels that way
you wonder if it’s weird you’re faculty
what if y’all get in trouble?
what if he ever goes back to preferring that idol?
you two will have a night in with serious cuddles and serious talks about your futures and goals
and all you two want is each other
he’s got to be aware of others feelings towards him. and as much as he brushes it off or pretends he doesn’t notice- it gets to him every once in awhile
you’re there to hold him and talk
just like he’s there after you’ve had a terrible day and need someone to rant to
you’ll massage his large, muscular shoulders after a job, trying to get out the tension
loves it when you massage his head too- you’re the only one who sees him without the bun i bet
undying respect for you
will never let anyone disrespect you- even if you’re trying to tell him to calm down that it’s okay
you’re never getting rid of this boy- your perfect golden retriever boyfriend … that may be a little obsessed with you
be prepared for lots of teasing from itadori and concerned questions from the kyoto students
you laugh it all off as in the end what no one else thinks or says matters
nsfw
oh my god
he’s big like biggest in the jjk world no arguing
first time you see his cock your eyes bulge worried it couldn’t possibly fit
he chuckles so warmly as he strokes your hair
“it’ll fit baby,”
king of prepping you for him
amazing with his tongue- got your a squirming moaning, wet mess for him before he’s even fucked you
he’s also got you finishing 1 to 2 times before he’ll even consider filling you up with his cock
and his fingers are probably bigger than any dick you’ve ever taken before , stretching you out and has you begging for more
when he decides you’re ready for him- you’re sweating and eyes rolled back from your intense orgasms
“so pretty for me, yeah?”
you grab his bicep, an attempt to pull him close
“what do you want baby?”
“in me- want you to fuck me,”
always takes it slow at first
your walls are always so tight as he enters you, squeezing him as you moan from the mix of pleasure and pain
he can barely fit all himself inside you, seeing the outline of his cock bulging in your tummy
“such a pretty girl taking all of me like that, told ya you could do it,”
dirty talks the whole time
grunter and a moaner
will never degrade you you’re so perfect- always dominating praise
“such a good girl for me,”
“your cunt’s so tight baby!”
cares about your pleasure more than anything in the whole world
favorite position is missionary because he knows that’s your favorite
otherwise he likes putting you on top of him- guiding your hips up and down
loves bending you down over a couch, counter, the bed, against a mirror as he drills his cock into your throbbing cunt
will fuck you in the school does not care but has a hand clamped over your mouth
also a huge tease
gots you whimpering and begging, practically crying
literally worships you in bed
has you seeing stars
has you coming more than you thought you were physically capable of
loves watching you struggle to take his length in your mouth, gagging as drool spills out the corner of your mouth as you choke
he’s so loud as you go down on him- so many praises and swears leaving his lips as he feels he’s in heaven with every swipe of your tongue
likes it when you swallow his come
but loves it when he fills you up with his come
that’s him marking you
but like king of aftercare too
you’ll never have to life a finger as he cleans you up
then will cuddle you, run you a bath- he’ll do whatever it is you want
jealous
this makes me wants to write more with him ah
#todo aoi#jujutsu kaisen#todo aoi x reader#aoi todo headcanons#todo headcanons#itadori yuji#gojo satoru#mai zenin#konekomaru miwa#kamo noritoshi
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I’m so Fucking proud of myself for getting to this point with guitar. It’s hard to explain but before I started pursuing music I had no creative hobbies what-so-ever and my father had no trouble reminding me of that every fucking day. Me and my dad pretty much hated each other my entire childhood. It was actually music that turned our relationship around. the second I took an interest in music his approach to me as a person completely changed. So that’s benefit to music #1 for me as it provided an olive branch to my father and made us mend some bridges that I genuinely thought would be charred for life. But lately I’ve been making a lot of strides that I think I’ve been waiting for since I started. I’ve pretty much stopped using tablature all together and started learning everything by ear, which I never thought I’d do, I hear music totally differently now. I hear a new song and if I like it I play it on repeat over and over again so I can preform this kind of mental autopsy of the song one instrument at a time and try to deduce who’s doing what and what chords and scales and progressions and time signatures are being used, paying attention to the “theory” aspect of every song that plays within earshot, which is something I never intended to learn or care about.
Like that Fucking lighthouse song I was talking about yesterday, I looked up some tabs and they were ass, watched a little YouTube tutorial and it sounded right but the guy was playing it in a weirdly complicated and annoying way (dudes in drop D to play a song in the key of E minor with a D Em G progression. Like why) so I said fuck it and played it on my phone and just picked out the chords how I thought they’d sound, I don’t wana brag or speak to soon, but Im very happy with how my versions coming along compared to the others I’ve seen floating around. Im excited to show y’all when it’s done >:)
Anyway. Just a self serving vanity post, glad I got into music, glad I worked hard at it for over a decade, proud of myself for not only sticking with it but trying as hard as I do every day to get better. I have no intention of ever “making music” in any capacity other than what I’m doing now. Just fun little videos that I can look back on years from now and say “damn I killed it, look at how young I was, I was handsome” it’s my version of a family photo album I guess. Looking forward to what comes next for me. I’m currently obsessed with blue grass music which is really Fucking weird considering my musical roots are comprised of bands like nirvana, rage against the machine, tool, queens of the Stone Age ect. Ect. But I’m excited to see where I’ll be in a couple years.
If you find yourself thinking that you have too much free time and want a hobby I seriously can’t recommend guitar enough. I feel like it’s an obvious hobby so most people don’t bother, or convince themselves that they “can’t do it”, but I assure you, you can. You don’t have to practice every day. You don’t even have to practice! I don’t think I’ve ever once in my life sat down with a guitar with the intent of practicing. I just pick it up when I want too and play whatever comes out. It’s never gotten old, it’s never steered me wrong, I come out of a one hour guitar session feeling like a brand new man. Like I got all the poison out. I genuinely feel it’s the thing I was born to do. But I have no intention of ever making a dollar from it, nor do I think I would if I tried, as one of my most influential guitarists once said: “when you expect anything from music, you expect too much, do it for you. Do it because you love it. If it’s meant to be the rest will come”
So that’s what I’m doing. Playing fun stuff every day, paying attention to my improvements, encouraging myself to do a little better every time I pick it up. And forever remaining hopelessly dependent on the 6 strings.
Thank you for reading♥️
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Jungkook barely hold Han Sohee’s hand in the Seven MV but they’re now expecting a kiss or ‘intimate’ scenes? lol y’all can’t be serious, setting yourself up for disappointment every time. I think she’s most likely going to play some sort of love interest (I’m starting to get so bored with those mediocre pop love songs..) but if they dance together and he barely touches her it will be a milestone already lmao
and yeah let’s not talk about the lack of chemistry in Seven.. from Jungkook’s part imo cause Sohee is a freaking good actress and she was convincing
Sorry I love Jungkook’s personality (not liking his solo chapter though) but he’s a particularly bad actor imo. he looked so stiff in their scenes it didn’t convinced me at all and made the whole mv average though I personally loved the concept and found it funny. if there’s any scenes with the actress in Standing next to you MV, unless he took some hardcore acting classes, i’m expecting it to be as awkward as Seven. but he’s not going to kiss the girl.. and they call us delusional for side eyeing jikook lol
Anon, you took the words right out of my mouth. All of them. I’ve been dreading this release tbh. The way this fandom moves around Jungkook really really bothers me. I can’t stand it. If a bunch of y/ns try to flood my ask box tomorrow, I’m just going to block them. Nothing I say matters to them, and I’m tired of trying to explain myself. It’s boring and exhausting. I also probably won’t watch the music video. 🤭 I don’t know why I let the “noise” of the fandom bother me but we can’t watch anything without sexualizing Jungkook, and as an ace person, it infuriates me if I’m choosing my words appropriately. I have no problem with him dancing with women or having a female lead in a music video, but the way that this fandom acts so immature and blows everything out of proportion isn’t for me. It’s not good for my mental health, and I would rather be left alone. I know I won’t be convinced anyway because like you said and I agree with, Jungkook is a terrible actor 😅 but we know this and we love him anyway. So yeah, I’ll be taking a backseat regarding the release of Golden. I’ll listen to the album, listen to any songs that I like often and that’s it. I’m over Chapter 2. I want the tannies back. This solo chapter brought nothing but fandom infighting, toxic solo stans, and straight dumpster fire trash if you ask me. Wake me up when it’s 2025.
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Ooooh boy, today, this week, the past few months, the last several years…. It’s not been peak y’all. Not peak at all.
But. BUT. I have listens…. Check it -
This album was everything back in my 20s. The closest friend who in turn ended up introducing me to Chris brought this into my life… let’s just stay today has been a musical journey while it poured rain and ‘tunda’ on middle tennessee… we haven’t had rain in so long, the grass is dying, my flowers despite watering 2 x a day are struggling, my saplings have needed daily drippage, it’s been DRY, also, no matter what the weather channel says, it’s been > 100 for 3 weeks, with ‘feels like’ 110 and higher - so I’m not complaining, I just didn’t go on a hike.
We made cherry turnovers, butterfly art, and owned Minecraft -
We have a burn ban. We have brown foliage. We have humidity of > 70%. Welcome to the dirty, dirty south 🤘
Before I’m interrupted. Here’s the nitty gritty -
I did hit that extra 20, I assume the scale was predicting the future. Before I get neggy here, I just want to add, this has been what it is. I am not negative with myself. I’m not mad. I can’t deny a little disappointed that I gained 20 of the 70 I lost back, it wasn’t the 70 though, and I’m still down to clown. Workouts are non existent aside from some stollen made up mat time of my own for maybe 20 minutes, a mile or 2 walk at work on the days I’m there, sometimes weights, more likely not. I’ve continued 16/8 fasting and have extended to a couple 48 hour fasts and it really does do wonders for my hectic mind. I only push for it if I’m not hungry, and it’s not a FULL fast because I will have my collagen and kombucha. It is just, something I’m trying to maintain and not be detrimental to my mental here and now - it’s not like we don’t have a heap of other bs on our heads.
Mom.
Her ct showed positive movement of her tumors. - I didn’t realize that was plural until recently, so while we are ahead at this point, the war is waging. And I say that not to be over dramatic, it’s just, I have to not be mopped with small wins and no victory, and it’s been a rollercoaster, and I’m swamped with just, grief. It’s grief, sitting with our necks on a chopping block, waiting for it to drop, and no one tells you this. That every visit is an anxiety laden heart attack. That each treatment and lab draw is a potential harbinger, and it’s fucking a Hoover to my soul, it’s an emotional leech on my folks, it’s exhausting. We tally ho of course, and I have this intense guilt for my feelings when it’s happening around me and not TO ME, it’s epically hard though. It’s hard. All of it.
Dad.
He’s hitting the ground running. His treatments for the myeloma have been great. The oncologists have gotten together and they can do Oral hormone therapy for his relapsed prostate cancer, then switch to pills for his multiple myeloma in the coming months as well. Positive on that front.
The summer programs with Jamis have been a hit. He has had a blast playing with cousins, doing ‘science’ and he is thrilled for legos this coming week. Best decision ever - also, not having to deal with the day to day dramedy that is my in-laws feels like we’ve had a damn colonic - the total crap of their instability and inconsistency is GONE, and hubs not having the day in and out with them has boosted his mood so far it’s stratospheric at this point. It’s as if I’m married to another man. His parents baggage was so heavy, not having them insert themselves 20 times a day for diet, questions about shows to watch, bathing suits, sun block, random ‘he doesn’t want to do x’ it’s been a breeze y’all. Easy breezy beautiful cover girl over here with excommunicado in-laws.
My SIL and bro are out the outskirts too as they’ve contracted Covid again, for the third time. Even though it’s apparently not real and a conspiracy. Just made the 4th easier. With the burn ban, we did paper lanterns that burn out in the atmosphere and are biodegradable-
The rest is history. We are all chugging along. Work has been so incredible. My current working with team has been elevated, and turns out I WILL be getting what I previously had; work from home day, procedure day, and position increase to lead NP. So, I followed my gut, and it worked out. Honestly that restored some of my distrust in humanity and Karma. Always a good thing.
Hope you guys are all doing fabulous. Sending you much love and encouragement through the day to day xx
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(repost because the original post was marked as NSFW)
still trying to tweak a few things with this series. i think i will present the songs in an unranked fashion, but i will still note which song is my favorite of the month! every song will be linked below and i rlly hope y’all enjoy this month’s list. (i’m surprised i was even able to get this done because i’ve been playing Zelda nonstop lol)
also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter
‧₊˚✧ BEST SONG OF THE MONTH ✧˚₊‧
“Tears Can Be So Soft” - Christine and the Queens
◇ featured on Paranoïa, Angels, True Love - Christine and the Queens (not yet released)
◇ genres: trip-hop, alt-pop
To be completely honest, I’m not super familiar with a lot of Christine and the Queens work. I love his feature on Charli XCX’s “Gone” and I thought his 2020 EP La vita nuova was pretty decent as well, but other than that I’m pretty much clueless. Despite that, his latest single absolutely blew me away. “Tears Can Be So Soft” takes obvious inspiration from 90s trip-hop, but god it sounds so incredible. The wispy, dreamy vocals backed against a string arrangement sampled from a Marvin Gaye song is a combo that works extremely well. I absolutely love this song and its probably my favorite of this month. If his next album is gonna sound like this, I’m super excited.
“Babylon By Bus” (feat. ShrapKnel) - billy woods & Kenny Segal
◇ featured on Maps - billy woods & Kenny Segal
◇ genre: abstract hip-hop
Maps, the latest collaboration between billy woods and Kenny Segal, is probably the most standout album of the month. Many of the tracks on the album could’ve made this list, but I wanted to limit it to a single one. “Babylon By Bus” is the song I’ve revisited the most. Like a lot of billy woods’ work, this song has that eerie and off-putting feel that makes him stand out. The verses from woods are very strong, but so is the verse from rap group ShrapKnel. I hadn’t heard of them until this and I will probably listen to more of their stuff in the future! Excellent song and an incredible album that I highly recommend.
“Justify Your Life” - George Clanton
◇ featured on Ooh Rap I Ya - George Clanton (not yet released)
◇ genres: chillwave, baggy, neo-psychadelia
George Clanton’s previous single, “I Been Young”, was my favorite song of last month and his latest single is one of my favorite songs of this month. “Justify Your Life” follows the 90s nostalgia of the previous single and I love this sound so much. Judging by the art direction of these two singles, it seems like this sound is what Clanton is going with for this new album which is super exciting. This track sounds a bit darker than the last, but it still has one of those choruses you just wanna obnoxiously sing along to. This upcoming album has the potential to be my album of the year given how incredible these singles have been.
“AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM” - Beyoncé & Kendrick Lamar
◇ genres: electro, pop rap
Breaking down this song and explaining why its good feels a little bit pointless. Beyoncé and Kendrick Lamar, two of the most important artists of our time, team up on a remix of a song from her excellent 2022 album RENAISSANCE. Obviously it’s great, look who is involved. Go listen.
“The Blades” - Squid
◇ featured on O Monolith - Squid (not yet released)
◇ genres: experimental rock, art rock
This new Squid album comes out in a few weeks and I couldn’t be more excited. I’ve enjoyed the bands earlier EPs and Bright Green Field, but I think this new album could very well be their best so far. “The Blades” is yet another great single. The band has been playing around with added touches of different genres into their sound and it just keeps paying off. The little elements of krautrock are especially a nice touch. I have very high hopes for this new album and I can’t wait to hear it.
“Space Orphans” - Ichiko Aoba
◇ genre: chamber folk
I’ve been slowly working my way through Ichiko Aoba’s discography after adoring her 2020 album Windswept Adan. I wasn’t aware of this new single until after this post was published so I’m adding it in post. This new single is a gorgeous, spacey, chamber folk ballad that is very easy to listen to. The soft strings that occasionally accompany her voice and guitar are a very nice touch. Every time I dive into the world of her music, I am completely captivated.
“Cops and robbers” - underscores
◇ genres: noise pop, indietronica
I absolutely loved underscores’ debut album Fishmonger and I have been anticipating whatever they were gonna follow it up with. Their latest single “Cops and robbers” builds upon the sound of their last album, but with a bit more polish. It has elements of hyperpop mixed with noisy instrumentation and a chorus that is clearly inspired by pop-punk of the 2000s. These all work together so well. Hopefully this is leading up to a new album.
“sulky baby” - yeule
◇ genres: dream pop, indie pop
yeule is an artist whose music I need to dive into further. I enjoyed a good bit of their last album Glitch Princess, but I couldn’t have anticipated how great this song is. “sulky baby” is one of the finest dream pop songs I’ve heard in a while. I absolutely adore the way the hazy guitar lures you into the track before everything comes to create this incredible burst of dreamy goodness. This is without a doubt one of my favorite tracks of the year so far.
“Zeitgeist” - Maruja
◇ genres: experimental rock, art punk, post-punk
Fresh off of dropping a really impressive EP, Maruja returns with another great song. If you liked their debut EP, I’m sure you will love this new single. One thing I love about this band is their consistently interesting instrumentation. The bass towards the start of this track is really cool and adding saxophone into a post-punk song is always a recipe for something great. This band is on fire right now and I can’t wait to see what they have coming up.
“Master P (feat. Big Sean)” - KAYTRAMINÉ
◇ featured on KAYTRAMINÉ - KAYTRAMINÉ
◇ genre: pop-rap
KAYTRANADA and Aminé joined forces to make a very good summer album. There are plenty of highlights across the project, but I wanted to shout out this track in particular. “Master P” isn’t the most summer-y on the album, but I think its one of the biggest highlights on the album. I think this track has some of Aminé’s strongest rapping in a while and when Big Sean’s verse comes in the track is elevated even more. Really loving this one.
“Infinity Repeating (2013 Demo)” - Daft Punk & Julian Casablancas + The Voidz
◇ featured on Random Access Memories (10th Anniversary Edition) - Daft Punk
◇ genres: disco, electronic
It kinda feels like cheating putting this on here, but I feel like I have to mention it. The 10th anniversary edition of Daft Punk’s magnificent final studio album dropped this month alongside a handful of new demos and extra songs. One such demo is a collaboration with Strokes frontman Julian Casablancas. Daft Punk and Casablancas teamed up for the incredible “Instant Crush” which ended up on the album. I guess this demo was what eventually evolved into that song and I think it holds its own pretty well. If you liked their previous collab, I think you will find something to love about this demo!
#my favorite songs of the month#2023#music#rateyourmusic#christine and the queens#billy woods#kenny segal#george clanton#beyonce#kendrick lamar#squid#ichiko aoba#underscores#yeule#maruja#kaytranada#amine#kaytramine#daft punk#julian casablancas
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31 Days Music Challenge
Day 3 - Favourite 3 songs from Studio album 1: Sweetheart of the Rodeo (1968)
I decided to go by the order I listened to them in so I’m just gonna have to keep inflicting my SOTR opinions on y’all for a little while longer
1) Hickory Wind
This is the first (definitely not last) time it will appear during the challenge, but there’s really no point in denying it. It’s one of his most iconic songs and in my mind it’s hard to find one that defines his personality, both musical and otherwise, quite as much as Hickory Wind. It’s the country boy who struggles to find himself in a big city that is so far away from home. He dreams of a mythical childhood he can no longer have, or that maybe never really existed anyway, but he can’t help but mourn. His whole tragedy summed up in so few words. As heartbreaking as it is beautiful. Surprisingly, it didn’t entirely blow me away the first time, it was a bit more of a grower and the more I heard him sing it (in various different settings), the more I fell in love with it. The Byrds version may not be the most intimate or personal of his career, but it is the most classic and it still feels so inequivocably Gram.
2) You’re Still on My Mind
Yeah I’ve talked enough about this one. I’ll only add that it wasn’t even supposed to be in the original tracklist for the album, but in this case I couldn’t be more glad it was included.
3) You Ain’t Going Nowhere
That steel guitar intro. It gets me every single time. The perfect album opener in so many ways, it sets things straight right away: on one hand, the Byrds are still the Byrds the audience has come to know and love. They’re doing Dylan! On the other hand, everybody who might be expecting another jangly folk-rock cover had another thing coming for them. The countrified, slick Nashvile-like atmosphere meets Bob Dylan’s brilliant nonsensical poetry and the result is one for the ages. I love the anectodes shared on the doc “Country Music” by Ken Burn where veteran session steel guitar player Lloyd Green recounts asking what parts of the song should he play on and everybody in the band answered “everywhere!” in unison. “My kind of people”, was his amused remark and I couldn’t agree more. Also, I am obsessed with Gram’s lower harmonies on this song (and Nothing Was delivered as well). He’s such an incredible harmony singer and it doesn’t get mentioned nearly enough, so I’m here to amend that!
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can I do something slightly mean and ask you to rank lord huron’s songs from the long lost album im curious
OKAY i’m ready. i’ve prepared. i’m not ranking your other life just because it’s too new i’m still going through a “play it on repeat 200 times then drop it” moment y’know? also while making this list i was like “fuck i forgot this song” and then stressed about where to put it because it’s literally an immaculate album. that being said:
i lied - the song that inspired me to teach myself how to make amvs, got me into allison ponthier, and makes me the most consistently insane besides the night we met. like ben and allison’s voices meld so well and the harmonizing KILLS me. THE MIDDLE INSTRUMENTAL WITH THEM DOING THEIR LITTLE OOO’S????????
long lost - i hear this song and cry my little eyes out because. well imagine you’ve never really see mountains before, right? and then you’re on a family trip and you see these incredible mountain ranges with the most spectacular views and long lost is playing, also the song itself is just so so beautiful
not dead yet - my first song from long lost !! i was there on release day baby!!! this song makes me wanna shake my ass and scream and cry all at the same time
love me like you used to - the harmonizing, the pleading, the way it makes me want to stomp my feet !!!
twenty long years - okay when i put this 5th i mean like- they’re all up on a shelf together okay this isn’t 5th 🤢 this is 5th 🤩 like twenty long years is insane it makes me bonkers!!! in the words of my dad “it’s such a beautiful song” (again can’t believe he loves this band that much aksjdkfkks)
mine forever - i didn’t like this song AT FIRST but now??? never skip it. i’m constantly vibing. i tear up when the moon doesn’t mind bursts into this song like it’s SOOOOOO. one of the songs that gave me energy on my way to school so i didn’t fall asleep at the wheel and crash <3
what do it mean - THE BUILDUP . THE ENDING. I CRY EVERY SINGLE TIME LIKE. OH OKAY UNTIL NEXT TIME!! I’LL JUST CRY !!
meet me in the city - i KNOW i sleep on this one and occasionally i’ll go bananas and play it on repeat !! and the REPEATING “meet me in the city” MAKES ME BLOW UP
drops in the lake - POETRY . ACTUAL POETRY. reminds me so much of wait by the river and i sleep on both sometimes only to hit it hard and yell “why isn’t anyone talking about this????” aksjdkfkadk
the moon doesn’t mind - SUCH A FANTASTIC WAY TO OPEN AN ALBUM LIKE HEARING THE FIRST NOTES ????? INSANE MOMENT. only issue it’s too short, which is why it has to go lower :/
where did the time go - again it’s INCREDIBLE and i 100% understand why it’s so short but :( i wish it was longer. anyways i’m 100% slipping this into my graduation announcements >:)
time’s blur - on the lower end ONLY because the others are higher and have lyrics. i will not stand for time’s blur slander i LOVE her. y’all know that part that’s twenty long years ??? TEARS. i’ve sobbed on the way to school to it more than once oops.
at sea -🧍♀️i’m sorry this one doesn’t do it for me :/ like i’ll listen and vibe but i didn’t hesitate to put it last 💀
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Defending her and black women isn’t enough. I need a weapon and cyber bullies
Drake Facing Backlash Over ‘Circo Loco’ Lyrics Allegedly About Megan Thee Stallion
Drake, Megan Thee Stallion. Source: Amy Sussman; Aaron J. Thornton / Getty
Megan Thee Stallion responded to Drake’s lyrics on he and 21 Savage’s song “Circo Loco” where he apparently is throwing some jabs at her. On the song, which appears on their new album Her Loss, Drake raps: “This b**** lie ’bout getting shots, but she still a stallion/She don’t even get the joke, but she still smiling.” Later in the song he said: “Shorty say she graduated, she ain’t learn enough/Play your album, track onе, ‘kay, I heard enough.
It’s being speculated that the 6 God is referring to the “Her” rapper’s allegations that Tory Lanez shot her in her foot in July 2020. Since she graduated from Texas Southern Universitywith a bachelor’s degree in health administration and recently released her album Traumanize, it seems like he is coming for the Houston hottie.
Once she saw all the chatter going on, Megan thee Stallion spoke out via Twitter. It seems like she first didn’t believe claims that Drizzy was dissing her.
I know I’m very popular but y’all gotta stop attaching weak a** conspiracy theories in bars to my name lol N***** nor hoes EVER address me or @ me WITH a fact or receipts. I AM CLOUT B**** keep sucking my p****
The Grammy-winning rapper then had choice words for those using her situation for attention and not being sensitive to it. She also told naysayers not to change their tune when facts begin to surface. She and Lanez go to trial in December.
Stop using my shooting for clout b**** a** N*****!. Since when tf is it cool to joke abt women getting shot ! You n***** especially RAP N***** ARE LAME! Ready to boycott bout shoes and clothes but dog pile on a black woman when she say one of y’all homeboys abused her.”
And when the mf facts come out remember all y’all hoe a** favorite rappers that stood behind a N**** that SHOT A FEMALE.
People attack me y’all go up for it , i defend myself now I’m doing too much … every time it never ends and this did NOT happen until I came out and said I got shot … y’all don’t fwm okay cool f*** it bye.
Play
Drake Is Facing Backlash Over These ‘Circo Loco’ Lyrics
Drake hasn’t confirmed or denied these claims but the people aren’t feeling those lyrics either way.
“Started listening to Drake’s album. Was 3 tracks in when I read about the Megan Thee Stallion reference on Twitter. I won’t be finishing the album,” Marc Lamont Hill tweeted. “And please don’t tell me it’s just wordplay… or that it went over my head. I’m very smart. I got it. Doesn’t make it less gross.”
There were also claims that Drizzy was jealous of thee Stallion, leading to him dissing her.
“Drake is clearly jealous of Megan thee Stallion. She’s hot, tall, naturally built in an athletic/built way,” someone else tweeted. “She’s a wordsmith. She also has the love of women. She’s literally everything that Drakecan’t have. He’s pressed and it’s pathetic. He can’t be THE hottie.”
Someone else called out how people are calling for violence against rappers to stop yet it’s allowed against Megan.
“Drake dissing Megan Thee Stallion is abusive,” the tweet read. “People joking abouther allegedly being shot by a rapper is also violent & hypocritical; weren’t y’all just denouncing senseless violence in the industry, regarding Takeoff’s passing? Mentally, I hope Meg feels loved & protected.”
If Drake is truly dissing her, he’s 100% out of line. What can you possibly gain from being so callous against her? Especially knowing that she has been the target of criticism for coming forward about the alleged shooting. It’s one thing if you don’t like her as a rapper, but to casually joke about her trauma is heartless and an extremely low blow.
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Chase Utley told me you missed when I sent you asks, so here’s my NON-SWIFTIE vault tracks ranking
1. Is It Over Now
- IK this is basic and idc
- This song made me wanna listen to the rest of the vault tracks (that’s a big deal for a non-swiftie)
-I’m still recovering from “you search in every model’s bed for something greater”
-I like Harry, but I’m proud of her for this one like she really went off
-It’s starting to become overplayed so it might go down on my list eventually
2. Suburban Legends
- “And you kissed me in a way that’s gonna screw me up forever” 😶 🧎♀️
- It sounds very nostalgic to me for some reason, and I like it more the more I listen to it
3. Say Don’t Go
- GOD this was hard to place as #3 bc I love it a lot
- It’s a little too emo for me atm but I could see this becoming #1 next time I’m sad bc of a boy or sports team
- Ask me again in a week this might be higher on my list
4. Slut!
- I told you this one was my #2 at first and I can’t really pinpoint what changed, I just liked 2 and 3 more
- Tbh I like any song with a profanity in the title
- Agreed that this is Mason coded
5. Now That We Don’t Talk
-Y’all can sue me for this one
-Obviously I ate up the Harry tea, but I could live without it
-It didn’t do much for me sorry
Overall 1989 takes me back to fall 2014, and I’ve liked this album for a really long time 🙄 just imagine 13 year old Molly playing Style and then Perfect by 1D repeatedly over and over again
CHASE UTLEY PASSED ON THE MESSAGE OH MY GOD??? (prince amongst men fr)
the swiftiefication of molly is so real 🙏🏽 first serie a now this, im winning so hard rn
say don’t go should be higher in this list idk 🙄 but I’ll let it slide bc this is one of the best rankings i’ve seen. another now that we don’t talk denier!! I feel so seen!! SUBURBAN LEGEND TRUTHER THANK YOU SHES SO UNDERRATED
13 year old molly and 13 year old diane were so gagged when perfect and style came out 😭 yup yup yup!
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Tag 10 people you want to get to know better or just participate haha. I was tagged by the talented and wonderful @blarrghe which y’all should def check out all the amazing art/writing they create!
Relationship Status: Been with my bf for more than 2 years now!
Favorite Color: Red. Always been the color I’ve always chosen/gravitated towards haha.
Favorite Food: Oof, this be a hard one since I love all food but I always find myself craving pizza, so I’m gonna say that lol.
Song Stuck in Your Head Right Now: I have two right now! American Teenager by Ethel Cain and I Can’t Drive by Crawlers
Last Thing You Googled: Oh no lol. “Holy Wars band” I was listening to their album they released this year, today for the first time and it’s really fucking good, definitely suggest listening to it!
Dream Trip: Would love to go to Mexico or Ireland just trying new foods where ever I go, although I’d probably never do this cause I have way too much social anxiety and broke af lol
Time: 3:59 PM
Last Book You Read: Cloaked in Shadow by Ben Alderson. I never finished the book cause I got bored after the first five chapters 😅. I don’t really read books anymore (was forced too much as a child to read for grades that now when I force myself to read a book, I feel like it’s homework lol) but I’ve been reading a lot of Dragon Age/Mass Effect fanfiction so that counts lol.
Last Book You Enjoyed Reading: The Meanings of Macho: Being a Man in Mexico City by Matthew C. Gutmann. Back in college, I was taking some medical anthropology classes for my minor and really enjoyed the books I read there. One of my professors actually gifted me that book when I talked to her about potentially switching my major from biochemistry to medical anthropology (which I never did because I ended up falling in love with plants, switching over to botany, and then dropping out of college cause of health problems, finances, and current state of the world but that’s a story for another time 😉) and really enjoyed its analysis of cultural expectations within Mexico and the intersectionality of gender.
Last Book You Hated Reading: So off the top of my head, I don’t remember the title and I really don’t want to look it up, there was this book that one of my friends was forced to read for their Cultural Psychology class that the professor wrote and it was racist, transphobic, homophobic, and ableist af. I read it cause I wanted to see how bad it was, and it was baddddd. Apparently, after that there was a whole investigation about it, the professor was fired for like year but then the university kinda went back on their word and rehired the professor. So yeah, hate that book!
Bonus:
Favorite Thing to Cook/Bake: Oooohh this is hard, cause I love to cook. It’s one of my destressors lol. I always love to make pizza haha but I’ve recently been learning how to cook naan and just trying to perfect the recipe so it continues to be consistent when I make them.
Favorite Craft to do in Your Spare Time: Ooooh this is where I kinda suck at things haha. Worldbuilding??? I play DND and have kinda become the DM for most of the campaigns I play with my friends, so I do worldbuild a lot and it’s fun! Also, teaching myself how to draw cause like I wanna draw my OCs too lol.
Most Niche Dislike: I hate to put foods in bowls when they’re not a bowl food. No, I will not explain further lmao.
Opinion on Circus(es) Now and in History: Uhhhhh, I don’t really know much about circuses and have never really been to one... but have heard terrible things about them!
Do You Have a Sense of Direction and If Not What is the Worst Way You Ever Got Lost: I feel like I do but no one ever believes me lol. Although, I’ve only every gotten lost if a map/GPS I’m using is not good, but aside from that I’ve always found my way to places.
Anyone who sees this, def join in. Don’t really have anyone to tag since I recently rejoined Tumblr since high school lol
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Just found out the drums are specially playing their portamento album only and i couldn’t b more eggcited bc that’s my fav album by them 🥺
#i still hope they play i hope time doesn’t change him tho :x#it’s kinda stupid tho bc they added another date to the tour but that date they are only playing songs for the drums album it’s like why -#can’t y’all just play songs from EVERY album >:/#wack
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Shirt | MYG
Pairings: Yoongi x Reader
Rating: 18+ / Mature / Explicit
Word Count: 9.9k | read on ao3 | Part of the Yoongi 3(0) for 30 series!
Synopsis: You’re just returning Yoongi’s shirt. That’s all you’re doing. And that will finally be the end of it. That’s what you tell yourself. Every time you see him.
Genres | Content Warnings | Themes: Aaaaaaangst, idol!AU, exes but still lovers, one-night stand, implied cheating/infidelity, smut (hair pulling, breast play, oral [f receiving/m giving], unprotected sex). Fic idea inspired by Caretaker by Shelley ft. SZA, fana hues’ beautiful album flora + fana (these tracks specifically when they’re in bed toward the end), and the track known as Shirt by SZA. Check these tracks out and more on the Yoongi 3(0) for 30 series playlist (Spotify | YouTube). If you’re curious, couple’s backstory based on this song shuffle game.
Author’s Note: It’s an angsty fic, but it was written to celebrate some milestones! Thank you so, so much for reading with me! I’ve loved hearing from all of you, and even getting to know some of you quite well. Hanging with y’all has been super fun, and surprisingly, delightfully meaningful. As always, thanks for stopping by. 💜
It won’t change anything. Staring at the lock. Fiddling with your key card. Looking up and down the hallway. Tapping your toes. It won’t change anything because you can’t change. Whenever you catch wind of the next tour, and you get the series of texts leading you to a door like this one, you always, always walk through it.
For as certain as you are that you are going to walk through this one, there’s a sneaking suspicion that this shirt isn’t the real reason why you’re here.
But you brought it anyway.
You squeeze it. You didn’t even bring a bag for it. And just as your fingers constrict around the familiar, damp, worn, cotton roll, you feel your throat muscles cushioning your wind pipe as you swallow an uncomfortable mass of saliva, nerves, anger, guilt, and intrigue as best as you can.
The door beeps before you’re ready. The card reader is a sensor, not a slot.
You push.
Yoongi looks about the same. That’s probably the weirdest thing. There are dozens of music videos, fashion shoots, and film clips playing on some of the tallest skyscrapers in the world. So, it makes sense that to most people, seeing him in person is akin to ascent, an experience unreal and rare. He likes to leave people with things, stickers and sketches on sticky notes, evidential artifacts that later become tools of transubstantiation.
Whenever you see Yoongi, though, you see him like you see your reflection. Real, and you, but not really you, and somehow, only you.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
You can’t even tell who says it first.
When you teeter back a little on your feet, he jumps up from the edge of the bed. It seems the door caught him off-guard, too.
He strides over to you and holds the door open with his right hand. You can tell he’s just showered. Hair blow-dried, but casual. Already wrapped in his soft flannel.
“Come in.”
The door falls freely behind you. There’s hissing from the hydraulic closer. It sounds like someone shushing. Like the room wants to hear you better.
“I’m always late,” you sigh quietly.
Unnecessarily.
He shoves his hands into his jeans pockets. His eyes slowly travel down from yours, to your chin, to your curves, to your legs, to your feet. His eyes linger on your soggy Jordans.
“Damn,” he mutters at the devastating loss.
“It’s OK,” you reassure him.
“I’ll get you another pair,” he says, raising his eyebrows.
“I can easily get another pair,” you remind him as gently as you can.
He clicks his teeth. “I didn’t even know it was raining.”
There’s nothing heavier than a knowing, locked gaze.
You try to shrug off some of the weight. “Brought you something,” you say, striding over in your soggy sneakers to the desk just in front of him. “Managed to keep it dry.”
The FG logo is clearly visible through the cage that your fingers make around the shirt.
His eyes brighten and follow your hand as you gently place it, logo up, on the desk.
“Still have that thing?” he chuckles.
You shrug.
He tilts his head and smiles. “You could’ve just thrown it out.”
“Didn’t know if you’d still want it,” you tell him.
He takes a deep breath, and then he lets out a decisive grunt.
“You know what I want? Dinner.”
You smile and reach for the zipper of your coat. The tab sticks, but you get it down in a series of jagged motions. It’s frustrating when a zipper snags. It’s even more frustrating that zippers snag mostly on themselves.
He walks over to join you at the desk. At first, you think he’s going for the phone. But his fingers reach for your zipper near the bottom of the track, and he slides it down in one, easy motion.
You twirl as he helps remove your coat.
Like memorized choreography.
He stares at you for a moment, eyes lingering at your stomach, unhidden by your tight, black crop top.
He licks his lips.
“You were saying something about dinner?” you joke.
“What do you want, like, a white pizza?” Yoongi asks, draping your coat over the chair before picking up the hotel room phone. “Something with mushrooms or figs or hot honey, whatever bougie shit you’re so in love with?”
You roll your eyes, starting to kick off your ruined sneakers, and nudging them so that their toes tap the far wall. “Don’t pretend you hate it,” you say, catching his pointed glance back at you. “Let’s not forget that I was the original taste-maker out of the two of us.”
“Mmhmm.”
That signature grumble. Teasing, but relenting.
You’ve missed hearing it.
“Can I get one of the fig and arugula pizzas with the bacon and— yeah, that one.”
He looks over at you.
“Yes, a large. To share.”
You grin proudly.
“And steaks,” he continues.
Like you always do, you walk over to the window to get a glimpse of his view.
When you’re forty floors up, everything looks incredible. But it also seems unnecessary. Yoongi used to love making music underground, in graffiti-soaked tunnels long abandoned by the city. It’s weird to see him being lifted so high by the same people who always threatened to shut him down.
And it’s weird to hear him talking now. Saying these things.
“The truffle ones, yeah. Can you add lobster to that, too? And what are your desserts? Anything with that edible gold stuff? Yeah. Or wait, back up? The other one? Yeah, that one. The fancier, the better.” There’s a pause as he listens. And then— “Sorry, no, double it. All of that’s for two.”
Your heart aches when he says “two”.
You wonder how often he orders for “two” nowadays.
He mumbles a thanks and hangs up. Plastic hits plastic as you see a taxi nearly miss a pedestrian trying to catch a street car.
Yoongi looks up from the desk and over at you as you peer down at the city streets, still bustling, having no time even to acknowledge the tempest swirling around it.
“Sit down,” Yoongi offers softly, leaning on the chair where he has draped your coat. He frowns at the sofa and chairs in the corner. They look cool, but they’re uncomfortable. “Sit on the bed.”
You shrug, and you speak without turning. “My pants are wet.”
“Hyung’s the one who cares about that kind of stuff,” Yoongi says, grinning playfully. “C’mon. I want you to be comfortable.”
You turn around to face him. And you smirk.
“Fine.”
You unbutton your jeans and wiggle your hips out. Yoongi’s eyes widen as he watches the way your fingers curl around your thigh to help you smooth the denim down your legs.
The socks come off too.
Yoongi follows as you straighten back up, body on display, doing some teasing of your own, still wearing that crop top and, apparently, a pair of cherry red, silk panties. A high cut. Showing off your gorgeous, curvy thighs. Your natural waist. Your competingly soft skin. He sighs as you drop your socks on top of your crumpled jeans. He wonders what else you’ll drop.
Your playful smile is still so, so cute.
But he unfortunately has also seen the tattoo at your ankle.
And it doesn’t hit you until he clears his throat.
“How is…”
Yoongi’s eyes flick up to check your reaction before burying themselves back in the sand. He knows his name. You scream it in bed when Yoongi’s not around. Yoongi can hear it in his dreams.
Nightmares.
You tuck your tattooed ankle behind your naked one.
“Good.”
And you leave it at that.
Yes, you concede. You usually scream when it comes to good things. But this, especially now, with Yoongi, you whisper.
Yoongi nods once, glad. Glad that you still understand each other. Glad that you’ve gotten this part out of the way. Glad that guilt is so quick to disappear. Glad that, as his eyes land again on the too familiar letters on the front of that shirt, he realizes that he never really feels guilty. Nor do you. There won’t be a need to confess. Even if God is watching, there’s no Fear of him here.
He walks over to you and wraps you up in his arms.
“Been going crazy all day,” he whispers, as your bodies reconnect. Remember. Re-live, and relieve. “Where were you sitting?”
“Nosebleeds,” you tell him, moaning a little when his hand creeps up your thigh, hooking through one of the leg holes and into the panel at the bottom before running up the front. “I kept out of sight.” His hand flattens at your hip and slides around, grabbing for your ass and pulling you even closer into him. “You looked so good on stage.”
“Thought about you the whole time,” he mumbles, lips finding your neck. Hands finding your still-covered breasts. “Fuck, when am I not thinking about you?”
“I know,” you admit. “Me too.”
He secures his grip on your hips, both hands squeezing. And then tugging. Pulling you toward the king-sized bed.
You don’t budge.
“C’mon,” Yoongi whispers.
When you brush back his hair and see how deep, and dark, and wanting his eyes are, you follow.
There was a time when sharing a bed with Yoongi wasn’t something you had to be coaxed into. It was just the end, or the start, of another day. Bodies groaning when the world called you back to it.
You’d say something like, “Why did I agree to this?”
And he’d say something like, “Maybe we just cancel.”
You’d play out the whole day that you would have if you did cancel. The food you’d share. The songs he’d write. The chapter you’d finish.
But on this particular day, you’d made a promise to a friend to go out for a change. To leave your shell of domestic bliss and reintroduce yourselves to the world. Sure, it was her birthday, and the more people who came out, the more food and drinks and presents there’d be. But it was your presence that she really wanted.
You tugged on Yoongi’s arm gently.
“We’ve gotta get ready,” you told him.
“It’s still morning.”
“Knowing us,” you pointed out, “we’ve gotta start getting ready now.”
“Five more minutes,” he mumbled, trying to roll away.
“We’ll be late,” you warned.
“We won’t be late,” he murmured into the pillow.
You let go of his arm, but he grabbed your wrist before you could leave him completely. Your body rebounded back to him, your heels slamming the floor.
“Yoongi,” you chuckled. “Seriously!”
“Seriously.”
He pulled you back into the bed with him. Made you straddle him. Squeezed your naked thighs.
“We’ll be late,” you repeated.
He looked up at you, sleepy, and smiling.
“We won’t…”
Yoongi walked his fingers up your thigh and to the hem of your shirt.
“Be late,” he smirked.
He gave your shirt a little tug.
--
You were an hour and 47 minutes late.
You weren’t particularly missed. Your friend knew you’d show, and Yoongi’s six friends were proving to be delightful entertainment.
“This one’s cute,” you heard your friend’s sister sigh, taking Jungkook’s jaw in her hand and shaking it back and forth.
He squeezed his eyes shut and giggled as she pressed a kiss onto his cheek.
“You mean we’re not all cute?” Jin demanded, placing his fists on his waist, his beer bottle tilting a little in his grasp.
“My fault we were late,” Yoongi apologized, walking over to your friend and giving her a hug. He was careful not to step on her skirt.“Happy birthday.”
“Aw, thanks, Yoongles!” she squealed. And then she reached out for you, wiggling her fingers in excitement and hopping eagerly over to you.
She smelled like honeysuckle.
“Happy birthday,” you breathed, relaxing into her arms. “You look great!”
As she raked her fingers through your hair and tucked your hair behind your ear, your three small studs up from your lobe and your double-helix gleaming in a bit of light, she let out a long, “Thaaaaank youuuu.” She laughed when she did it, slightly uncomfortable with the compliment. Just happy to see you.
She wrapped an arm around your shoulders and came to your side. You hung your arm on her hip.
You watched as Yoongi stepped over legs and bodies to clasp Namjoon’s outstretched hand in greeting, before finding himself being swallowed into the couch, Jimin and Taehyung dog-piling and laughing at Yoongi’s protests.
As you watched, you laughed as Taehyung tugged at Yoongi’s ear, and Yoongi grumbled about him disturbing the matching double-helix piercing that matches yours.
And, as you watched, your friend told you, “Yoongi’s looking… good,” sounding somewhat surprised.
Not because Yoongi never looked good.
Yoongi always looked good.
But there was something particularly good about this good.
You couldn’t help the smirk that popped out.
Your friend turned to you, and upon catching that smirk, realized.
“Is that why you were late?”
“Is Hobi not here?” you asked, looking around.
“Don’t change the—!”
“Didn’t see him when we walked in.”
Your friend huffed. “He’s over in the corner, talking to one of my friend’s co-workers.”
You turn and see Hobi sharing the cushions in the corner with a cute girl. She speaks incessantly, eyes widening with whatever exciting story she’s telling him, upper body bouncing as the story gets more thrilling, chest heaving as she takes gulps of air to keep going.
“That’s the quietest I think Hobi’s ever been,” you mentioned.
Your friend squinted at you. “Don’t hold out on me. It’s my birthday. I want every detail.”
“Fine, I’ll tell you when we’re done,” you said, as Yoongi’s gaze met yours again.
Eye-fucking is an art form that not a lot of people are comfortable with. In some ways, it’s more intimate than regular fucking. Your body, to some extent, can lie. Or, rather, what you learn about someone else’s body is up for interpretation, buried in context both personal and social, tangled with intuition, and assumption, and escape.
But a person’s eyes?
They always tell the truth.
Eyes are clear. Eyes have no defense. Eyes offer the kind of way in that you aren’t sure you can get out of.
Yoongi’s eyes knew how to get inside of you. They held you. Stroked you. A tilt of his head, and a quick lick of his lips, and you knew that he was imagining eating you out, quick to lap up every bit you give him, and always hungry for more.
Jungkook sang a ballad. Taehyung sang a theme song. Jimin sang one of the songs that you’d heard on the radio over and over again.
Yoongi kept eating.
People crossed your lens, but you and Yoongi always found each other. Didn’t matter if you were across the room or literally sitting on his lap. You always knew exactly what you were doing in his mind. When he shared it with you, it became the truth.
While Jin told a story about his most recent, somewhat unsuccessful fishing trip, you and Yoongi happened to be on opposite ends of the couch.
“No bass, but lots of trout,” Jin shared. “And the sea was pretty rough. Right Yoongi?”
He smacked him on the shoulder, and Yoongi nodded. “Rough.”
A quick blink and smirk meant that Yoongi was thinking about fucking you from behind.
He liked the way his skin slapped against your skin. The way it felt and looked, sure, but moreso the way it sounded. He might’ve come right there if he thought about it too much, in that way that apparently only few others could, able to play it back with extreme precision. The way your skin hit his, that sharp, crisp sound, loud, and resonant, and high, getting higher as he pumped harder, mimicking how tight you felt around him.
And the way your bodies sounded as you came apart.
Loud, ridiculous squelches. Obscene. How wet you got. How wet he got. How much wetter you made each other. Sometimes, with just yourselves. Sometimes, with oils, or lube.
Or soap.
Or candle wax.
Or melted chocolate.
Or paint.
“You OK?” Hobi asked him.
Yoongi finally blinked, and upon release, you urgently had to reach for your drink.
“Huh?”
“You seemed concerned?” Hobi asked. “Is something wrong?”
“Oh,” Yoongi answered, watching you fan yourself, “no, just thinking.”
Hobi smiled. “About?”
Yoongi mumbled, “Just about painting our accent wall thing.”
“Ooh, yeah, that came out great,” Hobi nodded along.
“Yeah.” Yoongi grinned. “Came great.”
The best was when you were sitting on his lap, though. When the eye-fucking got intense enough, you could feel him. He’d get so hard when you were looking down at him in the middle of a crowded room. One steely glance from him, and you knew that he was imagining you both, at home, in bed, your body on top of him, wrecked, gladly taking his cock as he pumped up and into you, grunting past your ear and fisting your hair as he cradled the back of your neck.
When you started to shift your body in tiny ways, just to get a taste, Yoongi gripped your thigh so tightly.
You asked him to do it again when you got home.
“I like when you grab me there,” you whined, wriggling around in your bed as he pulled off your pants.
“You dooo?” Yoongi purred playfully, tossing your pants away and crawling on top of you.
“I like when it hurts a little,” you pout.
“Yeah?” he kneels by your side, and you laugh when he slaps your thigh.
“Yoongi,” you whispered, looking up at him and biting your lip.
His hand rested against your still clothed pussy, your panties already drenched, but your pussy still too sensitive to touch with full force.
All he did was press his fingers against you, and you hissed, turning to your side and looking up at him with need. A tricky situation you always found yourself in with him. Hours and hours of eye-fucking Yoongi got you so pent up that you had to start off slower than usual. But hours and hours of eye-fucking Yoongi also meant that you needed it more than ever.
“Fuck, I want it so bad,” you confessed.
“Let me give it to you, then,” he told you, his fingers starting to swirl.
Slow. Not much pressure to start.
When your legs straightened out in surprise, he knew to ramp up the speed.
Pressure came back into the equation when you started to moan, your body stretching longer and longer across his lap, longer and longer shadows into night.
Your next, huge gulp of air, pushed out in breaths meant to steady your heart, tells him that you’re close.
He pressed his palm against your front and starts to milk your clit, massaging it between his index and middle fingers like you showed him once, and then swimming through your folds, fabric getting caught between your lips, as he circles, unyielding.
He pushed his mouth onto yours to collect your screams.
You came like only Yoongi could make you. You felt like you were losing your mind.
You didn’t need your mind for much longer.
The night was just getting started.
You stare up at the hotel room ceiling, fingers twirling your hair, chest rising and falling, your cherry red panties stained with your sweat and cum.
Yoongi walks his fingers up your body and places them against your lips.
You lock eyes with him.
And you suck his finger clean.
He bends down to you and kisses you, stroking your hair back, fingers clearing strays as he goes. Soothing. Calming.
You close your eyes.
You could fall asleep.
But when his palm rests at your hairline, you open them back up again.
He tilts his head.
“What does he tell you after?”
You sigh.
You bend your legs, dig your heels into the mattress, and push yourself up, resting your back against the pillows by the headboard.
Yoongi leans back, his elbow propping him up
“You really wanna know?” you ask.
“No,” Yoongi admits.
You cross your arms. “Because, y’know. We said.”
He reaches for your foot. Strokes it. Runs his thumb over your tattoo.
“I know.”
Three knocks at the door mean that two steaks, two lobsters, two fancy desserts, and one large white bougie pizza are ready for you.
You get out of the bed and go into the bathroom to take the immaculate robe that you know is hanging behind its door, and Yoongi gets up to get the food.
You hear him mumble more “thank you”s.
You don’t come out of the bathroom until you hear the second lock latch, and Yoongi sigh in appreciation.
He wheels the cart of food over to the uncomfortable seating area.
The judgmental, disapproving grimace on his face tells you everything you need to know, but you chuckle and ruffle his hair anyway.
“It’s fine!”
“But, it’s like, the bed is so, so great?” he complains. “Why is every other piece of hotel furniture so terrible? And obnoxiously so?”
He gestures to the seating area. There’s a set of blue chairs. Three of them. Circular, with low half-circles for backs. Velvet seats. Metal body. No arms.
“Like, what the fuck is this, right?”
You laugh. “The sofa, then?”
“Only marginally better,” Yoongi grumbles, plopping two pieces of white pizza onto two plates.
He hands you one, and you both make yourselves comfortable on opposite ends of the couch, legs sprawling inward. Toes tickling each other.
You make sure to pick the end that lets you press your tattoo against the sofa’s back cushion.
But no matter how hard you try, Yoongi always has his questions.
“You’re happy?” he asks.
“Yes,” you say, grinning, “including, and very much so, in this particular moment.”
He smiles.
You chew.
“And you have everything you could ever want?” he asks.
You soften. “Well, obviously not everything.”
Yoongi reaches for your left hand.
You move your plate to your right hand and sit up, extending it to him.
He kisses it. You run your thumb over his.
And then you both lean back, picking up your slices of pizza.
“I think I’m getting different things,” you remark through your bite. A bougie statement from the upper crust.
Yoongi knows how to navigate the double-talk, too. You learned together.
He lets your words simmer. You only think that you’re getting different things? Are you getting different things, but giving the same things? The things that were meant only for him? What do you mean by different?
“Like?” he asks.
It’s overwhelming to descend from this cloud when you get a chance to ride it, but you try to imagine your condo about five miles from here. The more you try to force its image, the foggier it gets. You can’t really see it from the ground, and you don’t really see it from the sky either. So you try to think of how you usually get home.
You can access it from either the red or brown lines. Purple, sometimes. Like the express train. But always the red and brown, without fail.
“Consistency,” you say. “I don’t think I understood how much I lacked that.” You almost hear the chime of train doors closing. “How much I need that?”
Yeah, you think. Consistency. Like a train chugging along.
“Wish I could give you that,” Yoongi mumbles.
“You also give me something different,” you mumble back, eyes not meeting, but that familiar fire in your voice encouraging.
But you and Yoongi know that the problem is that someone who lives the kind of life that you live often needs more Same. A person who has the Same schedule every day. The Same commute. Goes to work at the Same place. Wears the Same clothes, which you take equal turns fluffing and folding and put in the Same closet on the Same day every week. Tells the Same jokes at the Same dinner parties at the Same time every month with your friends so increasingly Same that at this point, even you can’t tell them apart from one another. Fucks you the Same. Kisses you the Same. Loves you the Same.
Yoongi gives you Same in other ways. You were thinking similar things as you reached for the last copy of a prized vinyl in your favorite record store. You shared nearly identical notes to the ones in your own heads for early drafts of his music, and your writing. And when you shared those notes, you had twin flames burning within your bellies, flames that combusted when your bodies met in ever-changing flickers. Even now, you’re in his room, but his room could be anywhere. Everywhere. You show it on your faces with separate smiles and sneers, but you both see life, existence itself, as one big, confusing, wonderful, out-of-control fireball.
And you both still think that, though it is ultimately necessary…
Same is boring.
“Yoongi, write me a rap!” you’d call out.
And he would. Right there and then. Tongue twisting like it would inside of you later. Rhythms as playful as the giggles he’d save for only you. Pull from only you. Placement slightly ahead of the beat. Eager. Joking. Not full of shit, even when he’s talking it.
Your first piece was published in a local. It was a call to action, stanzas bursting with bravado, as well as disdain for the kind of people who spend their lives deciding rather than making things happen.
“Yoongi, give me a beat!” you’d call out.
And he would. Right there and then. Hi-hats and bass and snare, through his voice in beatbox, or through MIDI tracks from his speakers. Always thoughtful. Layered. Diverse. Unexpected.
Your eighth piece was published in a small literary magazine still getting its legs. It was an ode to your vibrant city. The one that brought you Yoongi. Where you’d built a life together, buzzing with a never-ending supply of electricity. The same kind that shook the bridges and tunnels that would deign to let him and his friends showcase their growing craft.
“Yoongi,” you called out that day, “play me a ballad!”
From the next room came a mash of discordant piano notes. But it wasn’t a cause for concern. They were actually the first notes of finality that you’d heard after thirty or forty minutes of dispirited wandering.
And then.
A melody started to make itself known. Lower in pitch, and fuller as a result.
The timbre changed from piano to vibraphone.
The same melody started to play.
Something inside of you shifted.
When Yoongi joked around, he could show off his impressive dexterity. But when Yoongi played with more intention, he could make people cry. Fall in love. Stay in love.
You knew from experience.
His legato, flowing notes hugged you like his arms would around the back of your computer chair.
The melody kept repeating, never quite resolving.
“And why are there so many minor 7th chords?” you vocalized, furrowing your brow as you typed the last of your sentence. “It sounds so tortured?”
The word came to you so quickly.
Yoongi laughed and called back, “You’re such a sad girl, so I’m writing you a sad, rolling ballad!”
“Who says I’m a sad girl?”
“You do!” he cried out. “All the time!”
You huffed. “Well, I’m not!”
“Read me the last line you typed!” he challenged you.
Your eyes sunk when your brain caught up with what you were reading.
“But can anyone ever really know the parts of you that are so heavy with ugliness and rejection and resentment that you worry what you might do if you make them known to yourself for any longer than minutes at at time—”
Yoongi’s music admittedly fit extremely well.
“Wow,” you sighed, “OK, damn, Yoongles. Talk about a read.”
“Ha!”
“You’re right,” you admitted, laughing, “I clearly need to take a break.” You locked your computer and got up from your creaky desk in the just-a-foot-too-small bedroom.
You stopped just short of crossing fully into the living room, caught off-guard by a shirtless Yoongi making overdramatic faces at you to go along with his heartache of a melody.
You leaned in the doorway.
“Yoongi?”
He slowed to a fermata and squinted as he held the chord.
“What do you want to eat?” you asked, crossing your arms.
He sprinkled in a G7 chord, and his eyes lightened as he hung his jaw open in a smile, gazing happily.
Hungrily.
At you.
“Yoongi!” you laughed, his thought crossing your mind.
Yoongi giggled and switched off his keyboard. “Anything,” he told you, honestly. Genuinely. Like everything he’d ever said to you. “Whatever you want.”
“Actually, we should probably wait a while to eat,” you realized. “Your show’s kinda late.”
“You’re still coming though, right?”
“Of course,” you said, smiling. “I love when you guys perform at that venue. You always end up meeting cool people. Finding new inspiration.”
“So what if it’s in a landfill?” Yoongi laughed, picking up whatever shirt he left hanging on the edge of his keyboard the day before, his taut arms rising, and his shoulders and neck so easily sliding back into their homes.
“A renovated landfill,” you said, following him into the kitchen, “that now sells chai lattes for $10 a pop.” Your eyes followed as he opened the pantry door. “Hang on, I thought we might wait?”
“Just a snack,” Yoongi said.
He pulled a box of biscuits from the pantry. Simple, buttery, toasted biscuits with pretty, delicate, embedded almond slices from a nearby bakery that you loved. If that night’s show went well, Yoongi could get you something else from the bakery next time. Your birthday was coming up. Something chocolate, and something unexpected, but that you liked. Maybe with lavender.
Before he took a snack for himself, he pointed the box to you.
You grabbed a biscuit and started to munch.
“What were you thinking of?” you asked.
Yoongi reached into the box. “What?”
“When you wrote that piece for me, just a second ago,” you said, smiling softly. “Like, what were you actually thinking about?”
He bit into his biscuit and started to chew.
“I don’t know. I was just thinking about what we sound like.”
You blinked. “We?”
“You,” Yoongi said.
“You said, ‘what we sound like’,” you pointed out.
Yoongi waited before swallowing the last of his biscuit.
“Well… then… maybe it is what we sound like.”
--
Even when Yoongi wore the same shirt all weekend, he still looked immaculate. Like everything that was on his body was put there on purpose. He looked how people were supposed to look. He was a walking Warhol Campbell’s soup can, and everybody else was dull, dented metal being sold at a discount.
You tugged uncomfortably at your sleeve, itchy at your elbow.
“They’re killing it tonight!” someone next to you cheered.
You turned to see a group of friends excitedly chatting and pointing to the makeshift stage. One of them singled out Yoongi, jumping up and down and turning their friends with a lustful sigh.
You laughed to yourself and turned back to Yoongi on the stage. As he was hitting his verses and choreography perfectly, he still found the wherewithal to send you a tilt of the head and a lick of his lips.
Something inside tightened, and the rest of the crowd started to fall away.
The only thing that you could see clearly was Yoongi’s body, his favorite FG logo just barely hidden under the red bomber jacket that he borrowed from Hobi.
You’d seen Yoongi in his most private moments, lucky enough to be the one he shared them with, and taking you on thrilling journeys in search of them.
But even you had to admit that there was nothing like seeing Yoongi come alive on stage. It always stung to think, but you could tell by the shadow in his eyes that he always wanted more.
Wanted it more.
Still.
It felt good to know that maybe you got as close to that as someone ever could.
The group of friends to your left suddenly exploded into screams, which caught your attention. One swore that Yoongi was tilting his head and licking his lips while gazing right at them.
You wondered if he was.
--
“And Namjoon said that when he called the number on the business card, he got an answering machine! With muzak and everything!” Yoongi exclaimed, unlocking the door and leading the way in. “He’s so charming when he’s talking about our music. Our goals. He’s a leader for a reason.”
You giggled and turned behind you, locking the door back up for the night. “What label was this again?”
“I don’t even remember, but this is a great first step!” Yoongi exclaimed.
He scooped you up into his arms, planting kiss after kiss all over your face.
You’d never seen him so excited.
You’d never seen the afterglow of a show permeate this deeply.
“I’m so proud of you,” you laughed happily, as you nestle into his chest.
The FG logo stared back at you.
“But I can’t believe you wore this shirt to the show,” you laughed. “You’ve been living in it all weekend. If you’re going to be meeting important record label people, you have to be more intentional.” You roll your eyes. “Cleaner.”
Yoongi pulled away from you and laughed.
“I’ll get there eventually. The person who gave us the card was honestly just some rando,” Yoongi said, walking back toward his keyboard. “We’ve got a loooong time before we’re meeting record label people for real.”
He sat down and stripped off his shirt, letting it fall on the floor, next to his feet.
The steaks and pizza have disappeared. The lobsters are just shells.
You’re still in your robe, swiveling around in one of the horrid blue chairs, as Yoongi watches you from the sofa, both of you balancing chocolate, lavender, and gold-flake sundaes in your hands.
“What stood out to you?” Yoongi asks.
You frown.
He’s so glad that you frown. Everyone usually showers him with affection when he asks people about the show. He knows they’re just so excited that they don’t realize that they haven’t actually answered his question.
“Was Taehyung injured?” As you turn, your ear facing Yoongi, you eat another spoonful of ice cream. “I noticed that he wasn’t moving his hips as much while he was dancing.”
“Yeah, he’s been sore,” Yoongi says, watching as the back of your head comes into view. “He said it felt like he pulled something early, so he toned it down for the entire show to keep it from getting worse.”
“Ugh, I know it kills him when he doesn’t get to ham it up,” you lament, digging into your sundae for more hot fudge.
Yoongi scoffs. “Jungkook is getting more daring, too,” he points out.
You face him head-on, smile wide. “I saw! The button?”
Yoongi just shakes his head.
“He played it really well,” you say, shrugging. “It seemed completely accidental. But I’ve seen the schemes. Know how the sausage gets made.”
“Sausage,” Yoongi laughs naughtily. “Hmm.”
He looks down at his empty pizza plate.
“Sau-sage!” he says again, but in realization. While nodding and raising his eyebrows. Adding it to his insatiable list of cravings.
And then he turns toward you.
Yoongi watches as your ear faces him again. You start to slow, so you kick at the floor to keep spinning.
“Tell Tae that I hope he gets better,” you say, chuckling, “and tell Jungkook that I hope that whoever found his button is a loving and merciful soul, and doesn’t go too hard on the voodoo sex doll they make with it.”
But then your spoon clinks against your glass as you plant your feet on the ground. You look slightly to the side to glance at Yoongi.
“Or, well… you don’t have to tell them I said that, but… I hope they… I hope they’re—”
“They’ll be glad to hear from you,” Yoongi says with a kind smile. “They miss you.”
He leans forward and places his empty sundae glass on the coffee table.
“They all do,” he adds, softly.
You dig a little into your glass, chasing an almond.
“They’re asking for another couple hours.”
Rehearsal usually carried on without your permission. Dancing always turned into drinks, which turned into more drinks, which turned into the guys dropping a drunk, sleepy Yoongi off on your doorstep and happily cheering for you through the lock at 3 AM.
The fact that Yoongi called, before midnight, on video, and looked so deeply apologetic, meant that he was sorry about something else.
“That’s OK,” you said. “I’ll eat our leftovers from yesterday.” You smiled a bit. “Not going out to dinner means that I can probably power through another chapter.”
“That scratch on your sneakers,” he reminded you. “I still haven’t gotten around to buffing it out.”
“It’s fine.”
“And the squeaky keyboard drawer at your desk.”
“Not a big deal—”
“There’s gotta be a screw loose, which means—”
“Yoongi.”
“—that the drawer isn’t properly sliding on the track—”
“Yoongi.”
Yoongi puffed his cheeks out and frowned.
“How about I save both things for when you’re back home with me?” you asked, swiping on your most charming smile.
Yoongi opened his mouth to say something.
But someone called him back to rehearsal.
--
“They’re extending the tour.”
You weren’t surprised. Tickets sold out much faster than anticipated, and the resale value was starting to skyrocket. Though Yoongi asked daily, the now dozens-thick management team just barely remembered to keep a comp ticket for you.
Your name was misspelled.
“More cities?” you asked, as excitedly as you could. “Multiple dates?”
“Both,” Yoongi admitted.
It struck you strange that it sounded like an admission.
“Well, that’s great!”
You started to pace, staring at your too-full hamper of laundry, and your laptop angled slightly on the coffee table, your charger just barely long enough to reach the closest end to the couch.
“How much longer?” you asked.
“I don’t know,” Yoongi admitted, again.
You weren’t talking about the tour.
--
“They’re asking me to move.”
You knew this day was coming. Jungkook’s hand-drawn fliers were quickly replaced with printed copies of volunteer-designed social media banners, which were quickly replaced with a new, bright, agency-designed logo.
Brand consolidation.
Jungkook pouted at the term.
So did you.
“Where?” you asked.
When Yoongi handed you his phone, you were anticipating a list of neighborhoods, or at most, some kind of map. You weren’t expecting a password—protected listing for a gleaming, state-of-the-art condo, the last remaining unit on a floor where six identical others had already been taken off the market.
This one was already off the market as well.
You had seen the new black key card in Yoongi’s wallet weeks ago.
There was only one.
--
You didn’t cry when you moved out of your shared apartment.
You didn’t cry when you spent the first night in your best friend’s spare twin bed.
But as you unpacked the last of Yoongi’s shirts into his new dresser, in his new bedroom, in his new condo, you knew it was only a matter of time.
Not days. Not hours. Not minutes.
Seconds.
A shame.
You were holding it together pretty well.
“Alright, all done,” you muttered quickly, zipping out of the bedroom and making a beeline for the front door that you didn’t have a key for.
“Wait! Where are you going!”
Yoongi darted after you, catching you near the elevators.
“Hyung’s making dinner at his, and we were thinking about going out to…”
When you turned around to face him, fat tears streaming down your cheeks, dropping from your chin like rain off the roof of a forgotten shed, he broke instantly.
“W-we were,” he tried again, sniffling even before the tears came, “t-thinking about going… going out to the c-club and…”
“Celebrating?” you asked weakly.
Yoongi shook his head.
He pulled you into him, desperate.
“I can’t come with you,” you whispered.
At the time, you didn’t know why you whispered. It wasn’t a secret. It was much later that you realized that you whispered because of how hard it was to get out. It wasn’t going to be a declaration. Certainly not a willing one. You needed to get it out on a technicality.
Yoongi nodded.
Wrapped you up in his arms.
Kissed you.
Wrapped you up in his arms again.
Kissed you again.
You wish you hadn’t been crying so hard.
Maybe then, you could remember what it felt like.
And you could spend your life holding onto the precious memory of the lowest you’d ever felt, instead of constantly trying to chase the high.
The hotel bed is amazing.
The mattress conforms to your shape as you lie back, stretching every fold within you into a straight line.
You start to yawn.
“Saw your latest piece,” he tells you, from the couch.
Your yawn disappears, the vapors of it trailing outward through your nose, tears less relief from exhaustion and satiation, and more stinging. The smell of acetone during a manicure. A too-cold soda drunk too quickly.
You sit up. Jostled. Body leaving wrinkles in the sheets.
“You did?”
“I better have,” Yoongi replies, checking the publication date on, yes, your most recent work. “I’m subscribed to all your sites.”
You blink quickly. He’s never brought up your writing before.
“You are not.”
“Am too.”
He pulls out his phone, or whatever phone he’s been given to use that month, and begins to read.
Your words don’t sound weird in his voice.
You notice that his thumb didn’t have to reach far to pull up your work. It didn’t even swipe the screen after he pressed his thumb to the sensor.
In some ways, you are still home to him.
You close your eyes to remember as much of it as you can. You pretend that he is reading from just over your shoulder. The image that your mind conjures is so vivid that you know immediately that the memory will keep. You will pretend he is reading proudly from his phone during brunch. You will pretend he is reading to you in bed from the physical copy that the magazine will send you. You will pretend he is reciting his favorite, memorized lines while you’re both in his car, on the way to meet his friends, at the next show.
Yoongi smiles at you.
“What?” he asks.
Your eyes slowly open, giving way to your blissful smile.
“Your voice,” you say.
He stands and walks toward you.
“What about it?”
“Sounds good.” You smile as he slowly crawls onto the bed with you. “Sounds even better when it’s saying my words.”
“The words even look pretty,” he tells you, showing you his phone screen. “From the font that you went with to the order that you put them in.”
You notice a bright, golden star in the upper right corner.
The page is bookmarked.
Your page is bookmarked.
“And they mean things.”
Yoongi gazes into your eyes, his nose an inch away from yours. It stays an inch away from yours, as the rest of the room slides back, walls growing to your left and right, the backdrop behind Yoongi shifting from a navy blue wainscotting to a blush pink swirled ceiling.
“That’s what I love most about them,” he murmurs, as he hovers over you. “How full they are.”
You sigh when his lips hover over yours.
And then he crawls down your body, tugging at the belt of your robe.
You sit up a little to remove it. Shed your cocoon. The same way he coaxed you out when you first met. Just with his touch.
All you needed was his touch.
His touch told you that he loved your body. Didn’t see what you were so worried about. What was there to be worried about? Skin as brown as the almond biscuits you so loved. Body full with them, and only them, even when he was able to afford more. And just like those biscuits, as he had more, he wanted more.
“I don’t seem to say as many words when I’m around you,” you say.
Yoongi nods, eyes following your naked, shifting legs as you roll left and right to get the robe completely off of you. He knows too well the freakish way you just happen to understand each other. No matter where he is, he feels like, is completely convinced, that he can hear every single one of your thoughts.
But he’d never tell you that.
He wouldn’t want you to worry.
“I can appreciate them all the same,” Yoongi points out.
“They don’t get drowned out?” you ask, tilting your head and smiling with amusement. “The fan chants? The squeals?” You giggle. “The demands for marriage?”
Yoongi runs his finger along your inner thigh. He dips it into your panties, still moist.
Yoongi tastes you first, on his finger.
You think about how many people want him. How many people he’s fucked.
How you count them as wins, too.
“Speaking of drowning,” he mumbles, making you blush.
You know that he’s wondering. Wondering whether you melt this much for… him.
He pulls your panties down your legs, and you take two unnaturally steady breaths, trying to get ready.
His tongue still knows you so well. Snaking through all the folds that you usually keep so hidden and closed, in an effort to be and stay “perfect”.
How? you wonder silently. How does he still know?
“Could never forget,” Yoongi tells you, knowing the folds in your brain just as well. He feels those folds pushing back at first, and then relenting, walls flexing back with monstrous surprise, and then rushing back in to fill the gaps. Like when a crowd slowly parts for him. When that crowd transforms into an audience. All of those eyes slowly turning to see him. Realizing who he is. Making way for him. Immediately longing for him when he passes by. Seams coming together again in his wake, as he makes his way through. It’s an everyday occurrence at this point. He secretly loves it. But he has to admit that it still always feels best when his audience is just you.
And you feel his magnanimous presence. Sliding around. Caressing every square inch of you. Telling you it’s OK. Better than OK. Enjoy it. Let go. If you ever need him to remind you how, he’s here. He’s always, always here.
“Jesus,” you sigh, shaking your head from side to side.
The corner of Yoongi’s mouth points into your right lip with sharp satisfaction.
You squint at him. “Eyes?”
“Mmm?” he rumbles into your depths.
You tug at the roots of his hair. “Look in my eyes while you eat it.”
He chuckles and moans against you, neck straining as he readjusts, head angling up and showing you his pupils as
The ends of his hair brush against your hands like overgrown stalks ripe for harvest.
He eats you, eats at you, ripe for the same.
His fingers at first like thin stems rustling in the autumn breeze, helping to give way and let the fruit drop. His fingers then turn into shovels in the soil to uncover what is good and sacred and nourishing.
Tongue like baskets to be balanced on hips and heads later to furnish the dinner table.
Lips savoring you like the last sticky bits of sundae.
Sundaes.
Sundays.
How many have there been now?
“Want you,” you whisper, your hand relaxing in his hair, letting the rest of the crops that you can’t take with you fall back to the ground.
“But…” Yoongi looks at you questioningly.
You shake your head again, and he knows to crawl up your body, placing gentle kisses at your exposed stomach, your still-covered breasts, lips teasing at your scooped neckline as he unzips his jeans and kicks them off in alternating shuffles that sound like a sail whipping in the wind, lips knocking on the door just under your chin as your head tilts back, and then lips finding home when your head tilts toward him again, being met with your grunt as he lines up and pushes slowly, slowly, slowly into you, while he pulls you into a sticky, hungrier-than-ever kiss.
Sundaes.
Sundays.
How many has he had?
Your legs tighten around him. Unfamiliar eyes might think you’re trying to lock him in.
But Yoongi knows better.
You’re freezing.
Yoongi slows, understanding that he doesn’t need to fight the frost with brute force, and knowing that letting it happen will let grow the thaw.
“What happened?” Yoongi asks.
You like the way he asks this question. Not, “What are you thinking?”, or “What’s wrong?”. You hate “What’s wrong?” He already believes that whatever you say is real and important and devoid of any fault.
This simple, black, long-sleeved crop top is ribbed, and you like the feel of running your fingers up and down the columns of cotton. It’s soothing. Helps you figure out how you wanna say it.
“I counted the minutes.”
He pouts at you.
“I counted the minutes, and then I counted the minutes I spent counting the minutes…”
“I’m right here,” Yoongi says. “We’re together.” He reaches up for your face, his thumb gently grazing your cheekbone, swooping back into your hairline. “Right now.”
You smile uneasily. The most difficult part of seeing him is feeling just how much time has thrown you out of sync. It’s torturous to misstep and be forced to recalibrate your footing with someone who once made you feel like you were flying.
But Yoongi’s gentle, massaging fingers at your temple help ease the pain.
You close your eyes and get lost in it. His hand on your cheek. His other hand running up and down your thigh, to help you turn. To help you get out of your head. By giving you something to do, rather than think. His torso, which you’re about to, and then, with a gentle, caring squeeze and lift of your thigh, are, straddling. His thick cock still inside you, and still throbbing with want.
Always throbbing with want for you.
You press your palms on Yoongi’s chest and bend to him, lips nuzzling and feeling before opening and joining. Tongue swims against tongue and teeth. Bites just spur you on.
He wants to give you more of them.
He claws at your top, making you laugh a little at how eager he is to keep going. To keep you going. To keep you on track. To keep you chugging along.
You somehow feel warmer when the fabric leaves your skin.
Even warmer when your bra disappears.
Warmest when his hands cradle the swells of your breasts, nipping and wringing and fondling and cherishing.
His hands slide down your body to your hips, and he shows you how to move them. Not because you don’t know how to move them. But to remind you to move. That you can get what you want, what you both want, when you trust your own movements.
When you trust him, and when you trust yourself.
Winding, slow. Clenching. Moaning.
Now, you’re tight not with anxiety but excitement.
Now, your face is pulled in all sorts of directions not because of too many errant thoughts, but because of this layered heat, growing from a simmer to a steam. It floods you. Makes you sweat. Fills the spaces that your thoughts have been chased out of.
That you’re continuing to chase out.
With more and more fervor.
You lift with the steam.
You melt and drip back down.
You lift again.
You melt and drip back down.
With each lift, the cloud grows bigger.
Drips become raindrops, falling heavier.
Faster.
Each drop of your clenched, gripping, strong, knowing muscle onto his hard body showers Yoongi’s sturdy, turgid cock with more and more of your desire, coating him, lathering him, cleansing him. Telling him that it’s OK to feel. That he can be overly-passionate. That it doesn’t always lead to a burn out, though, when it does, that there is always a way out. You will always be here to give one to him.
Your hips roll forward and back, body sighing and stretching, showing him all the ways he can take you.
As you ride, his left hand touches your navel. Squeezes your folds of skin there. It feels like fresh, soft pillows and blankets unevenly stacked in the closet. He moans and runs his hand up those blankets, grabbing every so often as his hand slides up your body and rests, palm flat, between your breasts. His index, middle, and ring fingers spread and separate. His index and ring fingers stroke up and down at the border of each of your breasts. His middle finger strokes the center of your chest.
His cock starts to twitch inside of you.
As you shiver and grunt with pleasure, he moves his hand left, and then right, to each of your breasts. His fingers do the same with your nipples, which run rough and smooth in alternating stretches along the marble column of his middle finger.
Your moans are better than any song he will ever write.
Do you know?
Yoongi looks up at you, his left hand reaching out and brushing your hair behind your ear.
“Fuck,” he sighs. His face changes. Tenses. Lips rake under teeth. Mouth corners pull back as he takes a celebratory breath. “Fuck.”
His thumb rests alone on the tragus of your ear, his eyes instead focusing on the bright gold double helix rings at the middle lobe.
In the same place where he only has two faint scars.
No matter what, ink will always fade.
Kept long enough in the beginning, a piercing will last forever.
His eyes snap to yours.
You slide your fingers between the backs of his fingers, cradling his hand in yours, clutching his forearm with your free hand as you ride, squeezing him tight, pressing the pulp of his palm against your flushed cheek, and curving your lips to press a kiss at his wrist.
Eyes locked to his, you nod.
He grunts and quickly brings his other arm to nestle at your other temple, holding your head in his palms. You grasp both of his forearms and whine as he starts to bounce you, bodies meeting harder, faster, your cunt and his grip so tight that your brain might cave in.
You cry out and snap in half, collapsing on top of him. His hands curve around your body, running over your breasts in their journey across your back and to opposite ends of the beautiful landscape that is your torso, forearms pinning you down, against him.
Funny.
For how well you know each other, you always seem to be against him one way or the other.
Yoongi’s thrusts knock you forward. The vacuum of your joint seal pulls you back.
You can feel how full he is.
So full that he’s close to exploding.
When you realize that you’ve closed your eyes, you pry them open again, and you see the soft, brown leather of the headboard, tiny, sand brown lines etched into a deeper mahogany, growing near, then far, as if zooming in and out on a map meant to help you navigate this.
You feel a soft bite surround the point of your chin. It brings your head down, and you see Yoongi gaze at you before opening his mouth back up again to trace your jaw with his tongue. To part your lips. To kiss you.
The world that you were supposed to navigate goes dark.
This is where you and Yoongi belong. Where you make sense. In the dark, in the dark. Undercover, under covers. Bound by the lines of linens.
How many times have you met here? How many times does it take an ordinary person to memorize a body? And just how extraordinary is Yoongi?
You whimper, lips still locked, and Yoongi nods for you both. His kiss becomes softer, yet, somehow, more distracting. The way a whisper draws you in. Brings you closer. Carries the weight of a secret. The gentler he kisses you, the more he’s able to convince you that your sex is not a cacophony but a lullaby. You’ll forget until you see the bruises in the morning.
Which is drawing nearer, and nearer, he thinks, as he grunts and sucks on your lips before opening his mouth to gasp at you.
The first of your tears fall.
He catches them, like snowflakes, once frozen but now melting on his tongue. Licks up your cheek to lap them up.
His head tilts into the corner of his pillow, and you chuckle a little sheepishly before moaning Yoongi’s name. Your eyebrows gather and tent. Does he know what he does to you? Does he care?
“Yoongi?” you sigh desperately.
Neither of you need an answer before you fall apart.
--
You’ve shifted in your sleep.
You don’t know how many minutes have gone by when you wake, and you try to stop yourself from counting them now.
Yoongi’s lips are buried in your navel, his nose hidden. Only his eyes greet you, wide and blinking. So graceful. That slight curve of his lids, quick to plump and rise before taking their time to descend to meet his cheeks. His eyes are wings that always loft to a soft landing.
They let him take flight now, his head rising, hands folding, and then his chin resting on his knuckles on your stomach.
“You cried,” he says.
You smile fondly. “I always cry.” You bite your lip, and your eyes narrow. “And you always point that out.”
He turns onto his side, his lipstick-kissed wrist propping up his bedhead. “Why do you think you do that?” he asks with a small grin.
“And you always ask me that,” you laugh, looking back at the TV screen and flipping the channel.
Yoongi smirks as you proceed to tell him what else he always does. What else you always do. What else always ends up happening.
The slow transition from bodies talking, to you talking, to the TV talking. The progression from pure bliss, to comfortable nostalgia, to complete silence.
The criss-crossing of bodies during the gathering of clothes.
How you always reach for the shirt that you brought to return.
How you always put it on.
The fond gazes. The soft kisses. The ones on your lips. Then your cheeks. Then your forehead.
You always linger. As each second passes, you always hope that his lips will stay on you for a second more.
After Yoongi zips up your jacket to the top in one smooth moment, and then closes the door behind you, it occurs to him that there are a couple things to add to the list of what he always does. Things that you don’t know.
That the minutes that you’d left uncounted aren’t uncounted at all.
That he has kept a running total of every single minute spent gazing at you as you sleep.
That you’re not the only one who always cries.
Read the rest of the 3(0) for 30 series here!
#bts fanfiction#bts smut#bts angst#ksmutclub#ficscafe#magicshopsgate#bts fluff#yoongi smut#yoongi angst#yoongi fluff#yoongi x you#yoongi x reader#yoongi x y/n#3(0) for 30#shirt#yoongi imagines#suga x you#suga x y/n#suga x reader#suga imagines
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*CHICAGO*
i write for free - so if you would like to support my work, you can donate here. (plus my bday is today!!!!!!! 🎂)
if you liked please reblog, recommended, like, and come talk to me about it!
——
The public didn’t know that some of the pictures that are posted of Harry that are tagged and credited to the on tour photographers were actually taken by his wife.
For example, after Chicago, the picture of Harry in the tub - completely bare and worn down from his show, you actually think the photographer took that?
No, that was snapped with YN’s iPhone, like some of the other pictures he’s posted.
Just like the one where he’s asleep on the hotel bed in a robe in Paris with all of his stuff splayed around him - allegedly taken by helene. ***
But no, it had been his wife, they had just taken a shower together and she had stayed in for a bit longer to shave her legs - when she had come out and seen him passed out.
She had to tug a bit at the robe so he wasn’t exposed and make it x-rated, then she pulled out her phone and snapped the picture - sending it to Jeff with a teasing caption.
yn: It’s exhausting being a popstar
And just like that, it appears on his Instagram for fans to go crazy over.
Or what about the snapshot of his tank that had his famous slogan embroidered into the side of the white fabric. ***
His wedding band reflecting in the flash of the light, a subtle glance at his rippled muscle below the attire as they work on his hair.
“Mm, I’m gonna save this for a lonely night,” YN jokes as she tucks her phone away.
Harry’s hand comes to cup her jaw, looking down at her where she’s sat on the floor, “Y’so fuckin’ pretty, y’know that?”
YN’s eyelids flutter a bit as she glances away from his intense gazes - he still gives her butterflies.
“Don’t get shy on me, baby. Can I not tell m’wife how gorgeous she is?” He asks, bring her hand up to kiss the back of it, “Look s’good with tha’ ring on.”
And the one that made fans go crazy.
On a warm evening, in a hotel room between venues in Italy, where they had been lounging around all day.
YN in just a thin gauzy dress that accentuated the fact she wasn’t wearing a bra and Harry just in the trousers he’d worn to get them coffee earlier that morning.
“You just took a picture of me! It’s my turn,” YN giggles, getting on her knees on the old squeaky couch and snatching the camera off of him.
“I took a picture because y’tits look nice in tha’ dress. I can see y’nipples and it’s turnin’ me on,” Harry defends, holding up his book as she snaps it.
“H, c’mon,” She pouts but squeaks when Harry tugs her into him, dropping the book and the camera as he adjusts her on his lap.
“Gonna let me take a picture of y’all nice and fucked out, darling?” He rasps, ignoring her pout and hiking her dress up her hips.
And it’s happened throughout the years, so many pictures that were littered over the internet where just uncredited snapshots from YN.
Just like the one from 2013, they were on tour, and Harry was supposed to be recording for the next album after soundcheck and before the concert. ***
Instead, after soundcheck, Harry and YN had snuck off to a little meadow and lake to have a swim. He had shimmied down to his briefs and waded in.
YN stood back, snapping a picture of him and his friend as the complained about how freezing cold it was.
“Baby, c’mon. Come get in!” Harry had shouted back to his girlfriend on the dry land, “I need some warmth, s’freezing!”
YN grimaces, just in Harry’s shirt and a pair of yoga shorts, dipping her toe in and shaking her head - “I’ll enjoy from here!”
“Please, bug,” He pouts, motioning for her to come in.
She does after a moment, squealing at the temperature before quickly finding her way into Harry’s arms.
“Only have fun on tour when y’with me,” He had murmured into her ear before he dunked her underwater and they play fought until their stomachs hurt from laughing.
And then came the notorious picture that had gotten a million likes in thirteen minutes, oh, the chicago ice bath.
Harry had been achey since tour had begun, constantly complaining about his back and ankles from the shows.
“Baby, just rub m’back a lil’ longer please?” He had whimpered the night before, the tour bus bed did not help him much at all.
When his trainer had recommended an ice bath immediately after the show - YN had made sure to arrange it despite his protests.
After exiting the stage in his black and lilac outfit, he’d been lured into the bathroom with a promise of sex but instead was a steel tub filled with ice water.
Jeff, Lambert, Tommy - everyone was watching on in amusement as he adamantly tried to deny that it would help and the peer pressure wasn’t make him anymore convinced.
“Alright, everyone out,” YN had finally tittered, shooing out the circus before closing the door for privacy.
She helps strip her husband out of his close as he looks at her reproachfully, “You promised me sex.”
“After,” YN assures him, kissing his puffy lips and asking softly, “Just try it, if it doesn’t work - you don’t have to do it again.”
He grumbles a bit, muttering, “Don’t look at m’bits, they’re gonna shrivel up.”
YN giggles, “As if I haven’t seen your bits in every shape and form.”
As he slips in, YN has to snap a picture of his eyes wide and lips pursed at the shock of the freezing water cooling down his hot, sticky skin.
“Holy fucking shit,” Harry hisses, lowering self until he’s sat - his nipples instantly hardening and he’s breathing roughly out of his nose.
“Five minutes, I’ll set the timer,” YN says, setting it on her phone before sitting down next to the tub as he tries to relax.
“Baby, fuck. Reminds me of that really cold lake in Boston, ‘member?” He squeezes his eyes shut and reaches until YN intertwines their hands.
“Yeah, that wasn’t as cold as that one time you convince me to skinny dip with you on the coast of france.”
“Oh yeah, that one was really fucking cold too,” Harry murmurs, keeping his eyes closed and steadying his breathing.
(During WWA tour - ***)
“Harry, are you insane? Anyone could see us? Paul could walk out or the boys. I’m not-“
She’s cut off when Harry shucks off his swimsuit bottoms, his skin’s glowing in the moonlight and the light waves lapping at the shore are soothing.
YN swallows harshly, tries not to stare at how handsome and overwhelming beautiful he is as he turns to step towards the water.
She looks over her shoulder nervously before stepping out of her one-piece, he waits for her at the shoreline.
“Y’so so stunnin’,” Harry tells her, thumbing at the soft curve of her breast and leaning in for a soft kiss when he feed her shake.
“You could have anyone,” YN whispers against his lips, “Every girl on this earth wants you like this. I’m just some girl from before all this,” she motions to the extravagant bungalow they’re staying at.
“I don’t know why y’think tha’s bad. I want t’experience all this with you, m’first love and m’only love. I’m going to marry y’soon, you know tha’?” He replies, lips tracing the curve of her neck.
“You better,” She giggles, hands going to his shoulder as he sucks a mark into the thin skin.
He pulls back with a frown, “M’not jokin’, I don’t care that we’re young - M’gonna do it.”
“I can’t wait,” YN kisses his jutted out lip, squealing when he tugs her into the water and the chilled waves crash against her hips, “H, it’s so cold.”
“M’gonna keep y’warm, hush up,” He titters, pulling her into his chest until her breasts are smushed against his strong pecs and his arms are around her shoulder, “Love experiencing this w’you, everythin’ w’you.”
-
YN is brought back from her daydream by her husband wiping his finger under her eyelid, “Darling, wha’ is it?”
She hadn’t realized she had teared up thinking of the fond memory, “I want to go back to that bungalow. We had such a good time. I…I just love you.”
His wife chuckles like she’s pathetic for crying about it but he leans out of the tub, cupping her jaw and pulling her in for a hard kiss.
“Don’t be embarrassed, flower,” There was no teasing in his voice, it was sincere, “If anyone should be embarrassed - I’m the one who travels around the world t’sing love songs ‘bout you.”
Their lips join again, his tongue finding its way into her mouth when Jeff, Lambert, and Tommy barge through the door.
“Jesus Christ, only you could be trying to get some while sat in an ice bath,” Jeff scoffs with a smile but instantly knows they’ve fucked up.
“Get out, the fuck?” Harry sits up, “Don’t interrupt me and m’wife. Get out!”
They stumble out and just then the alarm goes off.
YN helps him out, tucking him into a towel and helping him dry off - his head tucked into her neck and hand on her belly - massaging.
“Do you feel any better?” She hums while getting some stray droplets on the nape of his neck as he nuzzles into her warm skin.
“Mm,” He agrees drowsily, hand slipping under her shirt for more heat and she jumps at his icey touch, “Want t’sleep.”
And when they get to the hotel, YN logs onto his Instagram and uploads the ice bath pictures with nobody knowing the story behind it.
-
Hope you enjoyed!
#update#harry styles#harry styles writing#harry styles masterlist#harry styles fic rec#harry styles x reader#ceo!harry#harry styles fluff#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#hslot#harry styles love on tour#hslot!harry#hslotrry#erodsafishtacos masterlist#file#harry styles fic#harrystyles imagine#harry styles imagine#harry styles au
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SUPRISE-Jack Harlow
y/n and jack are secretly dating, y/n gets called down to the VMA’s to do interviews and hand out awards without telling jack that she’ll be there.
(this one is a long one so don’t play the music until i say so😁😁) this is also isn’t pre read so sorry for any mistakes.
this is the outfit: https://www.fashionnova.com/products/betting-on-you-sequin-maxi-dress-gold https://www.fashionnova.com/products/a-glay-dream-heel-nude
word count:
warning 18+
smut, cussing, choking..
i was standing on red carpet as my heart started beating out of my chest waiting to see jack. i was talking with the camera man when he point out that lil nas x was coming our way. i got my microphone ready as he walked towards me.
“y/n.” he said smiling. back at the studio while nas and jack were making industry baby, i came and visited them a couple of times just to check up on jack. so nas knew that we were a thing.
“hi nas.” i said said into the microphone smiling as he stood infront of me.
“let me start on how amazing you look tonight.” i said as the camera man backed up getting a full view of his outfit.
“i could say the same about you.” he praising making me chuckle. i was were a long sleeve sparking cocktail dress with glass heels.
“thank you, so nas.” i said clearing my throat.
“where’s the baby bump?” i said as he chukled.
“i had to suck her in so i could fit into this dress.” he replied making me lightly laugh.
“BUT, she’s still gonna come out in five days.” he clarified.
“so your baby is a girl?” i asked as he nodded holding his flat stomach.
“yes she is. i just found out on the car ride here.” he said as i nodded.
“i also want to take a second and ask, all the amazing people you have on this album miley cyrus, megan thee stallion, jack harlow, i mean how do you do it?” i asked moving the microphone back into his direction tilting my head.
“i mean i just asking them, begging them for them to make a song with me and im just actually glad that we’re nice enough to say yes.” he said as i nodded.
“now telling about your outfit. i mean i just can’t get enough of it.” i said as he smiled.
“you know for this one i just wanted to go for both a mas and fem in one outfit. i mean you see it right?” he asked as we both looked down at his outfit.
“yeah yeah. i see it.” i smiled looking back up him.
“one more thing, what can we expect from your performance tonight?” i asked one last time moving the mircophone back towards him.
“my performance is going to be really sexy.” he said as i nodded my head.
“and do you think this will be a VMA moment?” i asked
“oh absolutely.” he answered nodding his head.
“and uh what about your nominations?”
(you can listen to the music)
“i’m really happy to win all these nominations, and you know i’m going on stage with jack harloww!” he said pointing to somebody right beside me. i look beside me to see jack. it felt like the world just slowed down as he looked down at me smiling.
“check your phone.” he mouthed to me before he looked back at nas giving him a handshaking. i came back into reality as jack as looked at me opening his arm asking for a hug. i kept the smile on my face giving him a hug.
“you look so beautiful i just couldn’t help myself.” he whispered in my ear pulling away.
“y’all don’t understand, these two are the absolute best.” he said looking into the camera. we go back to how we’re originally standing with jack beside me and nas infront of us.
jack looks nas up and down before licking his lips.
“jack, don’t say anything sus.” nas said as he all laughed.
god. i don’t understand how this man could be so fine.
“so jack. here come right here so the camera can see you, but don’t step on the outfit.” i said as nas moved over.
“it’s okay jack you can step on it, you’re jack harlow.” nas said as jack placed his hand on his side.
“my fault.” he said into my microphone before removing his hand.
“so what has it been like working with his genius right here?” i said looking at him as he looked nas up and down again smiling.
“you don’t want me to say it, do you?” jack asked her nas chuckled as butterflies irrupted in my stomach. god, the things this man does to me.
“say it!” i said as jack took the microphone from my hands.
“man stop playin.” nas responses looking away.
“you don’t understand how much this man means to me.” jack said with his hand my nas’s back.
“look at how well he’s dressed. this is my dog right here.” jack said as nas starts to walk away, jack hands me back the microphone.
“and you’re looking pretty good tonight too.” i said as he crosses his arms front of him.
“thank you.” he smiled licking his lips.
“matching shoes with the suit, what can we expect for you tonight once you enter onto stage?” i asked as i caught him looking me up and down smirking.
“jack?” i said getting his attention.
“shit im sorry, i wasn’t listening.” he replied honestly making me chuckle.”
“no you good.” i laughed grabbing onto his arm looking slightly up at him.
“i asked what would we be expecting from you once you enter the stage tonight?” i asked one more time.
“greatness.” he replied.
“jack! cmon we need more then that!” i begged.
“well what do you wanna know?” he said looking into my eyes. i was speechless. it’s always the ocean eyes i could get lost in for hours. jack could tell and helped me out.
“you gotta let the performance speak, the music speak.” jack said still looking into my eyes.
“i could rather tell you about it, but i’d rather show you.” he said.
“okay fair enough.” i said said quickly looking down then back up.
“uh these collaborations, who do u wanna collab with that you haven’t collared with already?”
“it’s just i told them earlier, andre 3000, i mean we’ll see where it takes me.” he answered
“i mean andre 3000 is my hero.” he replied as he turned into the camera.
“i’m just sending this message out to andre 3000, i admire you and hopeful someday in the future we’ll make a song together.” he said as i taking a deep breathe.
“well thank you jack for joining us today.” i said as he smiled.
“it’s my pleasure. anything for you y/n.” he replied as i felt my cheeks heat up.
“well i wish you luck on your performance tonight, and have a good night.” i smiled.
“thank you and you too.” he smiled walking away.
LIKE AN HOURS OR TWO LATER…
i just got done with the interviews and now i have to start getting ready for the vmas since it was starting soon. i was in my dressing room about to start getting ready with two hours left before the vmas started. i was about to go on my phone when i see a text message that said…
“meet me in my dressing room, room 167😘.” i read smiling as i bit my lip getting up. i left my dressing room taking my phone with me looking for jacks dressing room. it didn’t take my long to find it because each door had somebodies names on it.
i quickly found his room and knocked on his door. it didn’t take him long to answer, he when he did, he was wearing his black shirt with his green dress pants on. he smiled as he grabbed my arm quickly pulling me by my arm and locking the door behind me.
“if i knew you were coming, than i would’ve had us match.” he smiled as i wrapped arms around his neck.
“i didn’t tell you because i wanted to surprise you, that’s all.” you smiled as you felt jacks arms roam down your body and under your dress giving both asscheeks a quick squeeze making you gasp.
“i don’t think you understand how hard it was for me not to fuck you right there on that red carpet.” jack admitted.
“really? well from the looks of it, it looked like you wanted to fuck nas right there on that red carpet.” i said as jack chuckled.
“is somebody jealous?” he tilted his head.
“no!” i said making a face.
“it was just an observation.” i said shrugging my shoulders as jack laughed.
“but..” i said removing one of my arms from jacks neck and to his pants stroking him through his pants which earned a groan from him.
(if you wanna listen to the music again with this out then you can)
“i think you should show me how mad you wanted to fuck me?” i asked jack as a smirk formed onto his face. his lips crashed into mine. our kiss was deep but also passionate. it felt as if the world around us disappeared into thin air and it was just us. only us. his tongue slides against my bottom lip as i slightly open my mouth letting him in. our tongues danced together in harmony as both my arms wrap around his neck. he gives my ass a quick slap making me moan into our kiss as he picked me up and carried me over to his desk before putting me down.
without pulling away from the kiss jack quickly unbuttoned and pulled his pants and underwear down before pulling up my dress and down my laced panties. jack pulled me closer to him as he wasted no time and aligned himself with me. slowly he thrusted into me making both of gasp.
“fuck baby. i’ve been waiting all day.” he moans as i grip onto the desk below me. he continues to thrust inside of me hitting a deeper spot with every thrust.
“oh my-, fuck! yes jack fuck! right there, don’t stop!” loudly moan as the desk starts to hit against the wall. jacks thrusts start to speed up making both of us start to lose control.
“this pussy baby. fuck, it’s too good.” jack moaned in my ear making my head toss back as jack starts kissing my neck leaving marks that i’ll end up having to fix later. he pulls away from my neck as he his hand lightly wraps around my neck.
“look at me when im fucking you.” he demanded as i looked him in his eyes. he thrust somehow started getting so fast that the desk started roughly hitting the wall, but jack didn’t care, i wrapped one of my hands around jacks wrist as his mouth started to open with loud moans crashing out of it.
his thumb attached its self to my clit and started harshly rubbing.
“jack!” i loudly moan as i hand that was around my throat quickly went to my mouth.
“cmon princess, we don’t wanna out our secret now do we?” he asked still thrusting into my with the same paste as i quickly shake my head no as he removes my hand from my mouth.
“then he can’t be loud, okay?” he said as i nodded.
“good girl.” he smirked. i felt myself start to clinch around his dick.
“oh daddy, im so close. im gonna cum.” i finally admitted.
“go ahead. cum for me.” he said. i felt my high crashing down as i covered mouth with my hand, my moans were muffled as i came around jacks dick. a few more thrusts and he came inside me painting my walls white.
“fuck. that’s was good.” he said breathlessly as he laid his head on my chest. i chuckled as i ran my fingers throughout his sweaty curls.
“that’s was amazing.” i corrected him smiling. i look on my apple watch to check the time.
“shit!” i said as jack quickly got up.
“what?” he asked as i pulled up my underwear.
“my makeup artist are supposed to be at my dressing room at 6:30 and it’s 6:28.” i said as jack pulled up his pants also.
“oh.” he said as i grabbed my phone off the couch.
“good luck on your performance, i already know you and nas are gonna kill it.” i said giving him a peck on his lips.
“yeah, thanks.” he said as i walked to the door pulling down my dress before leaving.
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Rarepair headcanons because I am ignoring my problems
Serodeku:
Izuku reenacts the Spider-Man movies with Sero. Izuku is MJ. They also alternate being Spider-Man sometimes
They skate together
They get very protective when people call their boyfriend “plain”
They play dnd together
Sero tries to make sure that izuku gets some rest
They’re both kinda insecure, izuku more than sero, but still; and they make sure to reassure each other as often as possible
Sero likes listening to Izuku’s ramblings and finds them cute. He has told izuku this, only for the poor boy to imitate a tomato
After Izuku has been particularly reckless, Sero takes advantage of his quirk, wraps Izuku in bubble wrap, and tapes it there
Tokodeku:
Jocknerd bf and goth bf, we love to see it
Tokoyami teaches izuku how to sword fight
They start a dnd club at U.A.
Izuku talks to dark shadow a lot, Dark Shadow approves of him, and has claimed the spot of best man at their wedding
Izuku comes up with ideas to help Tokoyami gain control with Dark Shadow
Dark Shadow is very protective over Izuku, no matter how many times Tokoyami tells him that he can take care of himself, Dark Shadow will put himself between Izuku and any form of danger as often as possible
Dekoyama??? Aoyama/izuku:
Aoyama gives him makeovers, obviously
Aoyama drags izuku to the mall and tries to revamp some of his wardrobe, but he actually finds the “pants” and “flannel” type shirts cute
They help each other train their quirks
Aoyama is trilingual, and teaching izuku English and French.
Izuku always brings Aoyama home some new cheese
Y’all, I love them so much. There needs to be more aodeku content
Monoshinsou:
They have people watching dates. They come up with stories for the people they’re watching; their job, family, background, etc.
They judge people together
They call each other “love”
They’re both dramatic bastards, who will flop onto their lovers lap and proclaim their death due to a minor inconvenience
They jokingly sh*t-talk class A
Shinsou said “I love you” first, and it was because Monoma brought him coffee to class
Monoyama:
Like monoshinsou, they’re both dramatic bastards, who will flop onto their lovers lap and proclaim their death due to a minor inconvenience
They go shopping together and pick out the most dramatic pieces of clothing for each other
I love them so much, please 😭✋
They have tea parties every week, where they sh*t talk everyone else and gossip
They are both fancy bastards, and they wear the most exquisite outfits to go grocery shopping, and the outshine everyone
They both actually make clothing, they’ll go fabric shopping together. Gift exchanges are often articles of clothing that they’ve made for each other
Momomei:
They work on gear together!!!
Momo makes sure that mei gets some sleep
Mei helps redesign momo’s suit
They often work together with izuku to work in gear and such
They actually got together after izuku introduced them. He had been working on gear with mei, and studying with momo and he thought they’d hit it off. He was correct
Shintsuyu:
Dude they’d be so cute
Tsu is a vent gremlin, and you can’t change my mind. So she and shinsou will play a game where they try to find each other. Tsu is in the vent and shinsou is in the classrooms. Shinsou will try to find whichever vent she’s in, or she’ll find whichever classroom he’s in, in 20 minutes or less
I always headcanoned tsu as a dog person, so they’d have two cats and two dogs, and a bunny that they named Deku
They like comparing their friends to animals, hence the bunny, Deku
Kamideku:
Kaminari is a flirt, and izuku does n o t know how to handle it
Kaminari likes listening to izuku’s ramblings, and can keep up with them. He’ll ask questions on things too, and Izuku has never felt more appreciated
I don’t know why I feel like they’d have so many animals, but I do. They’d have so many, man. Three cats, two dogs, four sugar gliders, a hamster
Adhd power couple. They hyperfixated on complimentary things at the same time one time
Kaminari tutors izuku in English, and izuku turots kami in some other subjects. He’s also teaching kami JSL on the side. Kaminari has a live of languages
Momochako:
Study dates, Momo asks ochako to quiz her a lot
Ochako takes to floating momo’s things when she wants attention. Especially when Momo is studying. She makes a game out of how many things she can float until the other girl notices
Uraraka’s confidence does wonders for momo’s. Uraraka always makes sure to reassure momo that she is strong and that she can do this
Momo makes Uraraka whatever her heart desires. Uraraka blushes all the time, and momo takes great pride in getting her girlfriend to blush
Minatoru:
Mina clings to everyone, but especially to toru
They give each other stuffed animals so often. They’ll go to the store to get food, and come back with three stuffed animals that reminded them of each other
Please, they’re so cute 😭✋
They will play hide and seek, I stand by this.
Mina helps toru design a new costume. I hate hers, it’s horrible, and sexist, and not suitable for a fucking child
Toru says that pink is her favorite color
They flirt with each other all the time. Half the class thinks it’s cute, half of them used to think it was cute.
Iidamomo:
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, but study dates. they quiz each other, and it actually gets pretty competitive
They also have rage room dates. I will not budge on this. Iida tried to murder someone, and I am excited to see momo finally snap. She deserves it
They alternate paying for dates, don’t try me.
The go hiking a lot
They started liking each other after one late night, both having nightmares. Momo had tea, and offered some to Iida. They talked until the early hours of the morning
They can’t flirt. They try. But they’re horrible at it. They’ll compliment each other all day long, but they cannot flirt.
KIRIDEKU, MY BELOVED:
Y’all,,, y’all, I love them so much
They train together, obviously
They ran into each other one night in the common room after both having nightmares. They talked about middle school, how they were both bullied, izuku’s quirk coming in late, katsuki being abusive, kiri being bullied because his quirk wasn’t “cool.” After that, they were practically inseparable.
They started going on dates, not that either of them knew they were dates. The entire class knew, so did the teachers, so did the rest of U.A. Kirishima picked up on it first after a comment from Mina, he had is realization.
So, he started courting Izuku. Not thag izuku realized this. He brought him flowers on most ‘dates,’ he bought him hero action figures whenever he could, he complimented him until Izuku was red in the face (which was honestly very easy.) Still, izuku remained ignorant to the fact that he was indeed dating Kirishima.
The final tipping point, was due to Uraraka’s help. She was quite tired of watching the two of them pine for each other. It was amusing for the first couple months, watching Kirishima try so hard, and Deku being totally oblivious. However, she took pity on her friends after a while.
So, Uraraka devised a devilish plan to get the two together. She involved Mina, Sero, and kaminari in this plan. What was the plan, you ask? Oh, simply to trap the two in one room until they broke through izuku’s obliviousness.
Kirishima finally “straight” up admitted his feelings, to which Izuku had the sudden realization of “oh my gods, have we been dating this whole time??” Yes, Izuku. Yes you have.
They have two anniversaries after that.
Let’s be honest, they are really, annoyingly, horrifically lovey dovey. Kirishima brags about having “the manliest and bestest boyfriend in the world.” Izuku flaunts his many PowerPoint presentations on how talented and incredible Kirishima is
Uraraka doesn’t know if she did the right thing by helping them. She is so tired
Tsujirou:
Jirou makes playlists for tsu
The few sane ones in class A, I swear
They go on walks in the rain as often as they can
They go for dates in the bookstore too. They each pick out an album and a book for the other to listen to and read
Y’all, they make so much sense togetherrrrr, I’m love them 🥺
Jirou started liking tsu after the crew saved bakugou. Jirou sat with tsu after momo, Iida, kirishima, Todoroki, and izuku apologized and sat with her. They had movie night, and Jirou joined the Bakugou saving crew and tsu with taking well into the night. She just appreciated how much tsu cared
Tsu started liking Jirou after she helped Iida, momo, and izuku try to keep the class in order. She appreciated how diplomatic and calm she was
Jirou would talk to izuku all night long about how gay she was, and how adorable tsu was. So, izuku decided to try and suggest ways for Jirou to ask her out.
She did not end up getting to ask her out though, as Tsu walked up to her the next morning f and asked if she wanted to go on a date. Jirou said yes. Izuku cried
Izujirou:
They make playlists for each other
They go for runs on the beach a lot
They both have insomnia, and often spend time making blanket forts and talking, or FaceTiming and listening to music
Jirou walks into the common room once a week looking for new music. She started liking Izuku after he made a playlist for her for one of these occasions.
They’re both quite awkward when it comes to romance, but neither of them will shy away from facing the truth. So, Jirou made izuku a playlist filled with love songs that reminded her of him and sent it to him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell.
So, then Jirou wrote a love song and told izuku that the song was for him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell.
So, then Jirou write analysis about izuku’s quirk for him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell
So, then, after thinking that Jirou had done so much for him, izuku made her a playlist filled with love songs. Jirou took this to mean that izuku had finally picked up on her feelings, and accepted them.
So, they started to go on dates. Not that izuku knew this, as he is dense as hell. All leading up to izuku finally confessing his feelings on one of their ‘dates,’ to which Jirou responded, “dude, we’re already dating? Aren’t we? I- I thought that was obvious??”
May this awkward couple be forever blessed
Tokoyama:
Goth/prep boyfriends, we love to see it
At least once a day, Aoyama will proclaim that Tokoyami “shines almost as bright as he does, in his fabulous emo way”
They sword fight, and come up with really dramatic scenarios and scenes that they’re in
They bond over being in the izucrew and their shared love of swords. Aoyama took fencing classes in middle school, and Tokoyami got into sword fighting after watching it in pirates of the Caribbean as a young child. He is self taught and watched countless videos on the art of sword fighting
Tokoyami asked Aoyama our by dramatically presenting him with a dagger and going “will you accompany me on a formal outing as my lover?”
Shinyama:
They flirt constantly
No really, it’s getting quite annoying. Someone please stop them.
They both plop down in random areas and proclaim their deaths, the difference between them, is that Aoyama will burst into shinsou’s room, and yell “love, I’ve been murdered. Mourn for me” while plopping down on shinsou’s lap. Shinsou can be found laying face down outside aoyama’s door, and when Aoyama goes to open the door, he just goes “I’ve been murdered.”
^^ one time, shinsou did a very fun Halloween prank for this, where he poured fake blood all over himself for Aoyama to find him an hour later, asleep.
Nap dates. Aoyama get glitter all over shinsou’s room
Iiyama:
Aoyama enjoys making Iida blush, obviously. But he takes joy in doing it specifically when class is about to start. Aizawa is tired of his shit
Here is how I think an iiyama conversation might go:
Aoyama: I ask for one thing in this relationship-
Iida: Aoyama, you know that’s a lie-
Aoyama: for my boyfriend to carry me around all day-
Iida: Aoyama, I cannot feasibly do this with class-
Aoyama: and I don’t think that’s too much to ask for 😤
Anyway, Aoyama got carried around all day that day, despite Iida’s blush and Aizawa’s eye twitch
Everyone in the izucrew is close, but Iida and Aoyama started to get close after Iida told the crew about Stain. Aoyama wanted Iida to know that he wasn’t alone, and that he wanted to help him. So he started packing extra cheese for lunch and giving it to Iida. Iida was very confused at first. But this was Aoyama trying to court him. This was only made apparent by momo and Jirou telling Iida that this was aoyama’s attempt at expressing romantic interest.
Aoyama flirts with everyone, that’s just who he is. But with Iida? Oh it was tenfold. The poor boy was red in the face constantly. Aoyama was a persistent little bugger too, following him around and calling him ‘mon amour’
Kirikamideku:
My dearest traffic light trio, I’m love them
They train together, and kiri and kami always appreciate izuku’s analysis snd ideas
Kiri falls even more in love with izuku and kaminari when they go off on rants. Izuku rants and kami can keep up with him so he asks questions about it. Kiri loves to watch his boyfriends go on rants, I don’t make the rules, but I do enforce them
They started to get closer after kami and kiri found bakugou causing a ptsd flashback (could be on purpose of an accident, up to the reader.) they stated with him and tried to talk him through it. After this, izuku started to tell them about having been a “late bloomer” and being bullied, etc. (I don’t know, man; I tend to over share after flashbacks and after panic attacks)
Izuku tutors them in several subjects, but kami tutors them in English. Kiri just falls in love with his smart boyfriends
Izuku is teaching kami JSL and kami is helping izuku with English and Italian (personal headcanon that Italian has been one of kami’s special interests) kiri loves to listen to them, and finds it relaxing and calming to hear them do this. When he has panic attacks, he’ll ask them to tutor each other in different languages
#shinyama#tsujirou#kirideku#serodeku#kamideku#minatooru#aodeku#shintsuyu#iiyama#momochako#momomei#hatsumomo#iimomo#tokoyama#monoyama#monoshin#bnha rare pair#rare pair#my hero academia#mha headcanons#kirikamideku#izujirou
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