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tanked-up · 2 months

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(Soap after a night out finding Ghost on the floor passed out)

Soap: What are ye’ doing in my house…?

Ghost: Good question-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Price: How’s being married to Soap like

Ghost: Excuse me?

Soap: What do you mean-

Price: You both signed the papers last night

Ghost: What papers…

Price: Don’t tell me- YOU BOTH WERE THAT DRUNK?

Soap: WHAT PAPERS, PRICE

Price: Marriage certificate-

Ghost: …

Soap: OH MY GOD

Price to Ghost: YOU SERIOUSLY DON’T REMEMBER CARRYING HIM IN BRIDAL STYLE?

Ghost: NO!?

#can’t undo it #ghostsoap #call of duty #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #cod modern warfare #ghost mw2 #simon riley #john price #cod meme #incorrect cod quotes

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thatrandomblogsays · 3 months

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I’ve got a story that’ll make you percabeth girlies go feral:

My closest friend has an anxious/avoidant attachment style. So constant fear that people don’t really love her. I once asked her if she ever doubted that I cared about her. Her response?

“No, you’ve always been so open and aggressive in expressing your love that I can never doubt it.” 🥹

& that’s how I see Annabeth & Percy’s friendship going. Congrats to Annabeth for making a friend that’ll love you unconditionally, warts and all, you deserve it.

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atopvisenyashill · 4 months

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i was thinking more about characters Performing Gender, but not necessarily Transgressing Gender. I wound up focusing on Ned and Sansa bc I feel like I understand them the most but-

Sansa as a hostage is imo the most obvious (bc it’s so well done) moment of someone clearly Performing Gender but not being transgressive in that performance. Which isn’t to say it’s not a complicated performance; it’s a fine line Sansa walks between weaponizing her gender to protect herself without seeming too fake. She’s trying to placate the Lannisters by playing the perfect, dedicated, air headed betrothed because it’s the only defense she has - if she outwardly rebels, she will be punished in a likely violent and/or sexual way (which isn’t even conjecture - when she says “or maybe he’ll give me yours” Joffrey has her struck with an armored hand). She’s not quite successful in being convincing but that’s because it’s a rather extreme situation; despite no one believing her, she does make herself seem meek and stupid enough that no one suspects she’s plotting to escape with Dontos until she’s well away from KL. The fact that she even has Dontos to confide in is because of Sansa’s relationship with gender! When she saves him, she covers her rebellious slip by playing up Joffrey’s intelligence & his role as King; she reaches for “tools” of her gender AND of ~proper manhood~ to save a life and herself from another beating. Her retreats into the godswood and silence are very much Sansa attempting to recharge from these draining interactions, the same way a knight would need to stop and eat and rest after a fight. She is fighting, constantly, by forcing herself to stay within the narrow confines of a specific type of gender performance as a way of shielding herself from harm.

Ned yelling at Cat is another big one, and I’ve seen the scene referred to as Ned using his patriarchal power to scare Cat, which is a great description. It feels like a Performance because Ned is putting on this terrifying Lord Stark mask in an attempt to get Catelyn to stop asking about Jon (and Lyanna). This is not how he usually acts with those he loves! When Ned is with His People, he is welcoming of questions, curiosity, emotion, even transgressive thought (to a point! the idea that Ned is a feminist because he lets Arya learn to fight is Not accurate but you can’t deny he allows significantly more flexibility wrt gender expression than most of the fathers we meet in this series. the bar is in hell tho). Yet when Cat asks him about Jon’s mother, Ned scares her so well she stops asking & still remembers the moment bitterly over a decade later. And if that snippet we see through Bran’s eyes of Ned praying that Cat will forgive him does come after she asks (like it’s suspected), it’s clear not only that this is a performance he’s putting on & weaponizing against Cat, it’s one he does not like using as a weapon against someone he is close to. After using the power his gender gives him to cause harm, he retreats to the godswood and silence to pray and rest, much like Sansa. A spiritual cleanse, the way a soldier may pray after battle, to reset and reconnect Being A Proper Man to Being A Kind Man.

I think there’s something interesting in that two of the characters most widely defined by how well they adhere to Westerosi gender norms both dislike feeling like they had to weaponize their gender. They are exhausted by the performance, because it’s a performance. This isn’t Sansa getting excited over tourneys, or Ned teaching his sons to fight; it’s toxic masculinity, it’s structural misogyny. It’s something they’re good at, excel at, and connected to something they enjoy but when it’s paired with violence, whether done by Ned or done to Sansa, it crosses over in their minds from an innate part of themselves (The Gender) to a performance necessary due to survival (The Gender Role). And that after these performances, both retreat to nature & god as a way of resting and cleansing from the experience.

#valyrianscrolls #ned stark #sansa stark #getting on my soap box #there’s something here too about romanticism. like shelley and coleridge and whitman. the need to return to nature to undo society’s harm.#especially with the way various romance movements and romantic tropes are played with by their characters.#i can’t even remember who said it which just shows u how shitty an english major i am aksjd but about how.#like society is necessary but just as necessary is the ability to escape into nature. i *think* it was coleridge i’m probably wrong.#the gender war makes corpses of us all #gender politics in asoiaf #obviously you can point to several moments for both of them. sansa calling petyr father. ned’s relationship with theon. wherein they both #are clearly performing something for an audience.#there’s like 12 other branches of this in my head. jaime’s romanticism. being knighted bloody & the sacrilegious nature of the sept sex.#and his inability to escape his gender performance the way ned & sansa do. ned being willing to cry in front of others but robb only ever #crying in the dark with his baby brother after he loses ned. cat’s tower stuff & finding solace in sewing.#i’m gonna try to write up something about loras & renly here too. tomorrow.#also i wrote this at the train station after work so if there’s errors or it makes no sense just pretend u never saw it skskdj

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kaeddehara · 1 year

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just thinking about a present day albedo who’s such a cute loser. he’s always asking to study with you and offers to give you free tutoring. soon enough, he turns into your boyfriend and with little to no time at all, he’s become a personal tutor to you. often explaining and rambling about certain topics he’s fond of until he’s realized he’s talked far too much and apologizes. only, he’s explaining a certain theory he’s recently covered in his chemistry class and can’t take his mind off of. you let him tell you all about it, loving how adorably excited he gets and the way he avoids eye contact just so he can talk to you. but while he’s rambling on about his interest, you can’t help but paw and drag your fingers at his clothes. slowly getting on your knees while he continues which makes him stop to question your actions nervously. you notice he’s stopped talking and urge him to continue and just ignore you as you fumble around with his belt, letting the metal clink together as you are so turned on by his little nerdy ramblings you need to treat him to some well deserved head <3

#kaeddehara #albedo smut #genshin smut #albedo x reader #genshin imagines #nerdy albedo <3333 #or imagine it being some game he likes and he can’t shut up GRHRHDH #i’ve had this thought in my head al day #all the sounds of undoing a belt is so attractive #sloppy toppy for the loser #/j #he deserves it #albedo x you #genshin x reader #rumi writing ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

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everyonebl00ms · 7 months

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I ordered a signed Astarion print from Neil Newbon and you can send a lil 15 second video right? So I was gonna express how it’s so obvious the level of care the entire team put into the character. But I didn’t realize it was filming already and I was just holding my cat and baby talking to her.

So when I realized I tried to delete it but I hit save and it won’t let me undo it!!!! Super embarrassing but also so funny I’m not even mad. Of course this would happen to me.

#I put in the special instructions something like ‘sorry I didn’t mean to send that video and now I can’t undo it’#hope dude gets a laugh out of it #my post

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delusionsofgrandeur13 · 7 days

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undoing anakin

by ness ;)

original content/work, please do not repost! (reblogging is fine though, of course)

ageless, blank, or under 18 blogs, please, for the love of god don’t interact?

18+, hello? nsfw means NSFW!! thank you.

readers can expect: a take charge, more experienced fem reader, a little praise? vocal consent, male receiving oral sex/cum swallowing, a shy/inexperienced/virgin adjacent anakin skywalker..sub if you squint? can i please just write a pathetic man without him being the sub..anyways. smut under the cut!

you and anakin had been making out for what had felt like hours.

your pussy aches, and so does your jaw. although you hadn’t pulled away much, so you hadn’t looked, you’d bet galactic credit that he was painfully hard. his hands were still hesitant on your tits, his touch light. you’d bitten his full bottom lip more times than you’d like to admit. yet, he wouldn’t loosen up!

you just wanted him to be comfortable with you.

you slip a hand into the fold of his Jedi robe, grazing the sturdy planes of his chest. he gasps under his breath at the feeling of your skin on his, and you dart your tongue across his lips as you caress the smooth skin that was hiding under his tunic. you run your other hand up to his neck, gripping the hair at the nape of it, pulling his head back so you could trail kisses down his cheek, to his jaw, to his neck. he was barely breathing, and you could barely keep the smile off of your face as you trailed down to his collarbones, lightly kissing them, sucking the protrusion, ever so softly, slowly, casually. you relish in the little sounds he makes, sounds he was trying to suppress. you bite down on his collarbone, hearing the moan slip out through his closed lips.

you sneak a glance up at his face. his eyes are squeezed shut, his eyebrows furrowed. you allow yourself a bigger smirk this time, knowing he wasn’t looking. you take a fingertip, using as little pressure as possible, and tease it up his leg, from his knee to his thick, muscular thigh. his breath catches as he opens his eyes to look at you. his expression reminds you of a confused puppy, and you almost giggle out loud. you trail your index finger further, reaching the seam of his leg and his torso. your eyes on his, you run the tip of your finger over the bulge in his pants, watching his leg jump. anakin’s hand grips the sheets, and his eyebrows rise, his face open, full of want. he brushes his other hand against your leg, where your gown had opened to bare the skin of your thigh. you grab his hand, placing his palm on your thigh. he looks surprised, but content. you smile at him as sweetly as you could manage, your pussy throbbing at the filthy thoughts swirling through your head at the feeling of his calloused hand wrapping the width of your thigh.

you keep your finger going, up his sternum, over his adam’s apple, tracing the hard line of his jaw. he looks much more relaxed now, but his expression is reverent, his eyes glued to you. his thumb lightly brushes circles on your thigh, and the thought of him doing the same to your clit makes you shiver. you could feel your heartbeat pounding between your legs. you smooth the pad of your thumb over his swollen bottom lip, gorgeous in contrast with his flushed cheeks. you kiss him again, slowly building up the intensity, swallowing the low groans coming from his throat. his strong hand squeezes your thigh, his thumb nail leaving a crescent moon in the delicate skin. some buried part in your mind hopes it leaves a mark. you pull away, and his body follows you unconsciously. his torso leans away from the headboard.

you grin at him, pushing him back against it and pulling his tunic open. he looks surprised, but he helps you take it off. it lands softly on the floor by the bed. his nipples peak at the sudden cold. you move down to his pants, pulling at the soft waistband. anakin’s eyes widen when he looks down, probably not remembering until now that he was going commando.

“can i take these off?” you ask. you’d hate to ruin the moment by doing something he was uncomfortable with, especially now with how much more relaxed he was than when you started.

now the only stiff thing was what was in his pants.

anakin nods, eager. you shake your head.

“yes or no, ani.”

“y-yes, yes. yes please.” he said, looking at you like you’re holding the entire universe in your hands.

you hum your satisfaction, and smiling at him, you kiss him on the cheek. you pull his waistband down, shimmying the pants down his legs, and they follow his tunic onto the floor. he shivers, and you sit back to look at him, your pussy slick over the sight. his cheeks grow pink while you study him. his cock was fully hard, a tear of precum peeking out of his round, pink tip. a vein pulsed from where it twined around his length. one glance at your tits and his cock twitches. his face grows more red as he smiles sheepishly. you cup his face in your hands, and kiss his cheeks softly.

“me next?” you take the clip out of your hair, handing it to him, and he carefully sets it on the night stand.

he reaches over, untying the ribbon that held your robe shut. with a shaky hand he slides it off of your shoulders. you toss it onto the ground with a flourish, and he smiles, his eyes crinkling in that familiar way that always makes your heart stutter. he plays with the strap on your nightgown, and you take the time to drink in the sight of his naked body gleaming in the moon light. your mouth waters. he slips the straps down your shoulders, and you stand up. letting it slide down your body, you relish in the way he looks you up and down, the way his lips part when his gaze gets to the curls at the junction of your legs. you smirk, getting back into bed with him, between his spread legs. you sit on your knees, amused at the way he’s struggling to keep eye contact, torn between lust and respect, both for you. you place your hand on his thigh, getting his attention.

“ani.”

he nods in response. “anything you want.”

your laugh rings out into the room, and he smiles, wary. “what?”

“ani, i didn’t ask you anything yet.”

“either way, my answer is still the same.” he shrugs, blushing.

“are you willing to try something new? do you trust me?”

he nods vigorously, replying once you raise an eyebrow at him. “yes, yes. anything.”

“okay, give me your hand, please.”

he complies, placing his big hand in yours. you gather your hair with your other hand and lean down, bringing his hand up to hold it, the prettiest ponytail holder you’d ever seen.

“good job, ani. just like that.”

his eyes are wide, expectant. you lean down, scooting to get more comfortable. you take his cock into your hand, curling fingers into a fist at the base you pump once, twice. his nose scrunches, his lips press together. you smile, spitting into your hand, and his eyebrows disappear into his hairline, a groan starting in his throat as you take your wet hand and coat his length in your saliva. you wink at him, and he blushes. you lean down and press a soft kiss to his tip, now red from the pressure. you lick a droplet of his precum, gauging his reaction as you swirl your tongue around his tip. his free hand clenches around the bed sheets strong enough for both hands, as the one holding your hair keeps steady, like he remembers he still has a job to do. you lick a flat stripe up the back of his cock, and anakin hisses between his teeth.

you take him into your mouth, pumping down with your hand before coming back up to spit on his tip. he moans your name out loud, and you go back down, starting slow. you suction your cheeks, taking him deep.

“please, baby. please—” his words cut off into a whine.

you take the opportunity to sneak a glance. his eyes were almost rolled back, and his brows pinched almost like he was in pain. you take your other hand and lightly cup his balls, rolling them softly in your fingers. you pull him out from between your lips, shaping them into an ‘o’ to blow out a breath onto his sensitive tip. he groans as you take him back into your mouth.

“please, please don’t stop, baby, i—” anakin loses his train of thought as you pick up your pace, drawing him in and out. he whines again, shamelessly. you take him deeper, and as you bring him out from where he’d hit the back of your throat, his hips jerk as he bucks farther back into your mouth, groaning.

“i’m gonna cum, baby, please, please, don’t stop, just like that—” his breath catches and he goes rigid, his back arching as he throws his head back.

you open your mouth, pumping both of your hands up and down his length as he comes, hard. his cum paints your tongue in white ropes as he mumbles your name. you smile as you swallow it down, giving him a few last strokes as he shudders. he’s breathing heavily, almost panting as you sit up and stretch back, your chest jutting out in his direction. he grabs your tit with his free hand, squeezing. he lets go, also removing his hand from your hair with the other, tucking it behind your ears and brushing the baby hairs out of your face.

he hooks an arm around your waist and grabs your ass, pulling you closer.

“thank you, baby.” he whispers into your ear, his hair tickling the side of your face as he tucks his face into the crook of your neck. you scratch his back with your nails, making him squeeze you tighter. you nod, breathless. he leans back up to face you, his smile stretching across his own cheeks. he kisses you full on the mouth.

you melt into his embrace, running your hands into his hair as he bites your lip. you shiver, the moisture between your thighs almost unbearable at this point. he pulls back, studying your face.

“you next?”

#no one said lasting for 6 hours is a good thing #mr. can’t contain himself around reader or her mouth #future munch?#anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #anakin smut #anakin x you #anakin fanfiction #anakin imagine #star wars smut #star wars fanfiction #—ness writes #—skywalker and you #undoing anakin

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bonesblubs · 2 years

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PLSSSSS HC AND MQ BEING BFFS IS SO BIG BRAIN OF U!! they are peak "xie lian said it's your turn to wash the dishes today >:)" and i personally hc that, in a modern au, they have each other saved as 'hua cheng (derogatory)' and 'mu qing (derogatory)' respectively 😌

They're talking shit!!!!!

#art tag #ask box #hua cheng #mu qing #tgcf #theres something about them....#they have each other blocked on their phones #Mu Qing did his in a rage but he can’t figure out how to undo it so they have to message through a third party app #Hua Cheng refused to download one for messaging so it’s through the comments on social media #Mu Qing posts a pic of his dinner out and Hua Cheng comments on it #“’pick up milk.’#‘2% this time idiot.’

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the-daily-dreamer · 2 years

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I’m putting it out here now. I better not see any team black or Daemon girlies suddenly love Aemond Targaryen when he gets hot and crazy. Y’all were cheering when he got mutilated as a ten year old boy. And therefore don’t get to like him in the future.

Y’all chose your crazy Targaryen man and he’s a misogynistic, evil person who has committed domestic violence and killed his wife, insults women because of their looks, cheats on his wives, ignores his daughters while they mourn their dead mother, laughs at his wife’s funeral, laughs at the expense of his “true love” and revels in her being in danger, grooms children, and is all around a woman hater and disrespecter.

Meanwhile, Aemond is actually good to women (as far as we know this far and from the book). He defended his sister against Aegon and respects her, wears an eyepatch so he doesn’t scare the ladies at court with his scars, and he’s most likely going to be devoted to his girl Alys Rivers, the witch queen of Harrenhal.

#you made your bed now lie in it #Aemond is my already problematic fave and I am defending him #he deserves wayyyyy better #also Ewan Mitchell will be my undoing in this role #I can’t wait #house of the dragon #game of thrones #anti targ stans #anti daemon stans #anti daemon targaryen #anti daemon #pro aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen #aemond one eye #team green

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myfairkatiecat · 27 days

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So uh.... every Olivia Rodrigo song is about kotlc now <3

Yep! Every single one :D you’re welcome

#I listen to her albums and I think of kotlc #olivia rodrigo #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #I can’t undo it #I made the connections #now they’ll forever live in my head

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dindjarindiaries · 9 months

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All I know is that if I hear that flute sound in Ahsoka it’s over for me

#i can’t take din djarin content twice in a year #nope that’s my ending!!! my sweet sweet ending!!!#my UNDOING!!!!!!#din djarin #ahsoka series

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xmcu-fietro · 11 months

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@silver-goggles-guild prompt #5: the dark side

“And then one day you find/ten years have got behind you/no one told you when to run/you missed the starting gun.”

Was originally going to do this prompt as villain!Peter Maximoff and then @fuesch pointed out that Peter likes Pink Floyd and they have the album The Dark Side of the Moon, so I ended up drawing this inspired by the album cover. I bought pens that were too thin to cover the background well and then my white pen (for the lyrics) started dying on me, so we’re gonna pretend that the messiness is actually a stylistic choice and not me being bad at art xD