#can someone please fill me in

[sigskk]

sooo i started thinking about pacific rim again

[ID: A traditional drawing of Sigma from Bungo Stray Dogs on lined paper, wearing a drivesuit from Pacific Rim. The drivesuit resembles a mecha-style suit of armor. His full body is shown, standing and leaning more onto his right leg. His right arm is awkwardly sitting near his waist, and his left hand is brushing his bangs from his face. The plates of armor are white, whereas the suit underneath is black. He's looking off to the right with a neutral expression. End ID.]

#late night sig doodles #lord my body has been against me these past few days. i started writing a pacrim!au fic for another (nonexistent) fandom #bc i couldn't take my evening nap. 😞 #anyways this is sigma he's not a ranger he's just a PPDC officer. like LOCCENT mission control yk. #he knows how to pilot a v-50 jumphawk but he's never actually been deployed. he just can. #idk. maybe not an officer but if he had to fill that role he probably cld. but i do think he would be in mission control #OMG PACRIM SIGSKK #DRIFT PARTNERS DAZAI CHUUYA MISSION CONTROL SIGMA SO REAL AND TRUE #i'm so normal. please someone talk to me about pacrim!bsd #[ my art ] #sigma #sigma bsd #bsd sigma #sigma fanart #bungo stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs fanart #bsd fanart #sigma bungo stray dogs #pacific rim #pacific rim au #pacrim au #pacrim bsd #please please please be a tag

[jtownraindancer]

Distracted & Infatuated

#a room filled with bosses and clients and all he can focus on is Esther 😌 #burn gorman #bleak house #mr. guppy #mr. guppy if you please #man i need a tag for burn now fuck #my gifs #first of all: how dare you? #second of all: when will someone look at me like that #another brown eyed boy ruining my life

[s-guacamolearts]

So I've been trying to figure out the lore of ace attourney and in the mean time I'll offer this as my first contribution

#ace attourney #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #so far i understand that this guy became a defense attourney in an attempt to meet with someone he hasn't seen since fourth grade #and that he ate a poisoned necklace and somehow defeated the guy that caused the other guys fathers death using a parrot and metal detector #the guy he did all this for apparently accidentally fakes his own death and returns a year later #the defence attourney APPARENTLY ALSO falls through a burning bridge into a river notorious for killing people #and the other guy CHATERS A JET TO SEE HIM #oh I also understand that at some point the defense attourney gets disbarded for like 7 years and adopts a magician girl #I don't understand much more #LIKE I REMEMBER WATCHING SOMEONE PLAY IT LIKE 5 YEARS AGO BUT I DON'T RECALL THIS GAME BEING T H I S UNHINGED #AND I LOVE IT #in all seriousness could someone please fill me in on the ace attourney lore or at the very least direct me where i can find an explanation #as to what is going on #thank you for your time

[alchemiclee]

been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)

#apparently one of the writers did it on purpose. wont explain here. you can find it elsewhere. but it makes sense now #that's why it fell apart and didnt make sense in the end #ive seem people say anyone mad about it is a shipper and thats why. they use it as an excuse to be homophobes #youre gross get out of thos fandom. im here as someone upset about the story who was very skeptical about any ship theories and focused #more on plot theories and overall friendship and stuff so its not even about shipping you het weirdos!!! #the contradictions and plot holes are bd regrdless of who you ship lmao stop reducing it to that #aure its fine if you ignlre those plot holes. but it happened to be the little plot holes that interested me the most so its obvious to me😅 #cant wait until a talented writer in the fandom rewrites the whole story a lot better and fills in the holes and ties up the end better #please someone do this 😭 #words #hsr #i just wanted a close found family who met a tragic end #my idea for a better way to write it is dan feng wanted free from the high elder cycle and yingxing helped him create a new elder #but it went wrong and failed because the preceptors fed him wrong info hopong it woukd destroy dan feng since they hated him #instead it was yingxing that died and dan feng selfishly brought him back somehow and thats why hes immortal and hates dan heng now #they created a monster in the process that made a mess and baiheng died trying to kill it maybe but hit its weak spot #so it was weaked enough for jingliu to slay it #maybe for a plot twist jing yuan somehow knew the preceptors were up to something and didnt stop the two because #they were too stubborn and he knew it would do nothing #we know the dragon heart disappeared so either it ended becoming bailu in the end #or it could be inaide blade bow. another fun possible plot twist. they never explained where it went so it coukd be a n y w h e r e #i had other ideas but i forget now. bht baiheng deserves better as well. just being a plot mechanism to make two dudes be stupid #is kinda bland and boring and wasted her character. she deserves better too!!!! #id write this if i had the time and brain power but ill hope someone else does it instead #OH yeah i forgot a big idea. dan feng and yingxing perhaps try to also kill the arbor and end the abundance and long life/reincarnation #and maybe that was one part that led to it all going wrong or something. since yingxing wanted revenge on the abundance for destroying #his home and family???? and dan feng wanted to escape the cycle? similar wants that worked together snd failed #these are all ideas from past theories i read and my own ideas i came up with all of which are better than what that bad writer did! #these are very incomplete ideas that im sure someone else can write better #lee rambles

[goldfish-or-smthing]

im stalking everywhere on the internet for spoilers rn... you cant hide from me Ted Lasso Season 3 Episode 5 'Signs'.

#someone leak something please #i thought the press got the episode already :( #you can run but you cant hide. #i will track you down Ted Lasso Season 3 Episode 5 'Signs' #dont think you can escape me #🤨🤨🤨 #cmon press drop the spoiler-filled reviews already #ted lasso

[cinna-bunnie]

i had a fun day 2 day ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა everyone has been so nicey 2 me all day from the minute i left my house earlier ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠

i went to a Retreat for the first time for work earlier 0: and I did SO good for being up since 2am it didn't even feel like it 💀

it was so chill i drove like an hour away but Away from the city so there wasn't rly traffic and the mountains r so pretty 2 drive thru (❁´◡`❁) got some rain n v low clouds and since it's autumn there's all these pretty colors. i took an edible on the way n was just jammin out n enjoying the scenery among the many safe opportunities 2 look

and then at the thing we got 2 do different ice breakers n go on decently long breaks; i got 2 hang in different groups n actually Talk w a bunch of ppl which i never have time for omg. it's nice working at a legal nonprofit, i would NOT want to do this with corporate mfs !! 😹

went around n said hii to the enbies and i ran up a hill that looked a lot smaller than it was, i made it like 80% of the way before my legs were immediately like no girl we're done !! but my brain was like but it's Right There, and i struggled 2 finish the climb but I Did !! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა and i was so so tired i do not remember ever being that winded before 💀 getting down was so much slower n worse bc my legs were Done and when i finally made it to the bottom i laid flat on my back for like 15m, and when when i made it back to sit n chill i still need like 10 more minutes akskska. i do not b exercising !! i just wanted 2 play it looked fun and i got excited (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

in between things i was working on my sister's choker n kept winding up w a group of ppl around me 2 talk to about it and just talk 2 in general n the company was rly nice (❁´◡`❁) ♡ had a lot of different kinda talks 2day!! everyone is a sweetie!! some ppl r so funny n chill and i rly hope 2 get 2 talk more casually w people perhaps As Friends when i go in 👉👈

there's one girl in particular who is rly cute n sweet and i want 2 see her again ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა when I got home finally i had 2 hop on my work laptop real quick 2 look up her name again 2 make sure i didn't forget ☝️😌 we do not work at the same office but hii i am visiting next week 🐇

yippee!!!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა !!!

#i think i have become an introverted extrovert at some point 0: #which is rly nice bc my social anxiety was SO bad at the beginning of the year like i didn't even know where to start skskdksk #but i kinda figured it out? but it's also just being me? idk.. much 2 think. but i made good progress #i am getting a good grade in being funny and nice and talking to people !! #i want 2 kiss someone on the forehead #omg but if there's ANYONE who deserves a kiss it's this old lady who lives a few buildings down on the way to my car #where EVERY time i see her she always has something so so sweet to tell me about how i look #today she said I'm always looking fancy (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) ♡⁠ and more but that's the main thing i remember besides the small talk #and the first time we met she asked me if i was a model fr and she's told me I'm cute and I'm just like PLEASE SKDKDKS #i can't fully tell if you're just really sweet or kinda 👀 at me but girl u r so sweet like hello do u Want a hug or a kiss ?? i love u !! #old ladies have a warmth they fill u with that just take the weight of Everything off ur shoulders n leave u feeling full n happy!! #bless old ladies fr!! literally my favorite people to interact with always i love u abuelas everywhere u r everything to me and i would do #anything for u !!!! i miss getting to help friends grandmas w stuff as a kid 🥺 it was just always great 2 talk 2 them and be close n on #good terms n stuff :3 i was the same way with their moms hehe. hi hello i want 2 help !! (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚) #my friend is being lame and acting embarrassed but i love you please talk to me i am so so interested and think you're really #cool and funny and sweet and wise actually ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠ i wanna be around u if u wanna hang out #even if it's as simple as getting 2 help in the kitchen n always helping w dishes n stuff ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა aaa ♡⁠ #omg i was late 2 the thing too and missed the breakfast and there's this sweet energetic old lady who's always like #omg u didn't get to eat? do u want this? can i get you some coffee or tea? and I'm always just like no no it's okay I'm gonna get it but #appreciate the offer and just ૮ – ﻌ–ა she is always looking out 4 me !! but she's just a sweetie like that !! #i think sharing food is a universally good way 2 make friends and it always warms my heart 2 meet ppl who r the same (❁´◡`❁) #they r always so so sweet 😭🥰 for my astrology girlies i correctly guessed that she's a taurus hehe 😼 #there's another old lady who's an office manager for one of the offices n she is so soft spoken n sweet and i wish i got 2 hug her n talk #to her more 🥺 she's so far though omg i don't get to see her in person much #n e ways i work w some really warm bubbly ppl ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა i am a happy girlie 2day!! then im going Serious Mode again tmrw 🫡 #oo i get to setup like an Actual server for a rack w linux and it's being delivered 2 my place tomorrow 0: I'm excited abt it as a project #AND my new jewelry came in today along w some cute underwear we r starting this wk off strong !!! #there was so so much more frm 2day i am just rly stoned n thinking abt it all (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) #if u actually read all of my ramble ily ty for letting me Talk ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა ♡⁠

[i-am-very-confuse]

hey jashers i got a quick question, where did soul having a trident. come from??? and hearts wings????? i know i probably missed something but can someone tell me please i am very confused-

#haha get it like my name #but seriously i have no clue can someone please fill me in #chonny jash #cccc #chonnys charming chaos compendium #confused talking

[fourteenthz]

this game gave me all the illness

Hundreds of thoughts abt the last two chapters of yakuza 0 over here you've been warned I'm going full essay post bc I just can't fit everything only in 30 tags:

I've just wanted to stress just how good I think this game is, genuinely. There are few things that irked me in the end but they are so irrelevant I can't mind all that much. The dialogue in this game is just wonderful, script goes out there a lot but the serious/emotional scenes just felt all so real to me. I feel like it's so hard doing real dialogue without it sounding predictable but they did it. Maybe it's because the story itself isn't all that predictable but just UGH WONDERFUL. so good. Anyway to story bits.

just to start where I left I have to say. proof of love? the damn chapter of all time. if you told me we would be here

when I first started play this game I would be very skeptical but I really loved the directiong they took with him. and specially with her. I just loved makoto at first sight and I hoped so bad she would continue to be a plot point from there on and to have her face all of dojima clan head on and survive is just. so damn cool. she is my most special girl.

and it makes her so realistic too to that final scene before credits. the way she stands up to those guys and everything about her development is just really perfect and insanely well done for like a side character, specially when we have so many of them in this game. she is wonderful. I adore her to bits.

plus as a side-story for majima slowly breaking away from that cold facade from the beginning is just REALLY nice. he starts this chapter makind expressions he has never once done before and ends like

CAN YOU HEAR ME? they are my everything. going from makoto saying "I'm sorry, I can't do anything for myself" right when majima had that talk with seda about not doing things by himself. I love this plot point of him and kiryu being so damn powerful but how shaping them for something greater they needed others. not in a way that they lack something but in such there-are-thing-not-even-you-can-scape kind of way. this brings me to THIS:

BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME SO UNWELL. I feel sick. every time I have favorites I expect the worst to happen to them (because it always happens lol) but having nishiki and makoto being pillars for kiryu's and majima's resolve until the very end is SUCH a treat.

one moment you think they are all dying and the other you get this:

and it changes you for life I guess.

I should also add how much I love lao gui as majima's last boss for this game vs kiryu and shibusawa. they really delivered perfectly the whole "this is what you can become if you follow through with it" and it just makes. sense. and makes me stupid ig. I like them a normal amount and also I like how nishiki and makoto (even not there) are the ones that remind them of who they want to become. it's different from where they are now but it's different from the person lying under them as well and I just feel SO NORMAL about that.

for the ending I gotta say, majima's left a bad taste in my mouth at first, maybe because I just hated sagawa so bad lmao but I think I'm coming around it a lot more the more I think of it. and welp ig sagawa is dead so I that's a good way as any to convince me.

after makoto was gone I kind expected him to never talk with her again, but just to add, it feels better than I overall was hoping. I thought she would either die or move away from japan and they would never see it other again. Don't get me wrong I have no expectations for her to show up again, but just by her being there, I feel like it gives him a lot of peace of mind tbh. dojima clan won't follow here anymore and he can make sure of that. sounds good to me. bUT DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME THIS?

SEDA COWARDS. I was partially hoping he would keep it but this is better. ye. I just ADORE this so much. It is such pain that she doesn't know his name but also I just feel so relieved when she was just. walking around. being normal. I love her I love her she deserves the entire world I'm so happy at this moment.

now you know what made me insane? going from this

to THIS

and then I went to download the next one and you know what fck you seda I HATE THIS SO MUCH.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.

I mean I think I know but I REALLY thought I was free from tragic brothers. what about ranking up together..... what of their promise? what about "until death do us apart" was THAT A LIE? I'm gonna be honest with you all. I was excited to continue today but after seeing the opening for kiwami I REALLY don't want to. but. whatever.

from what I'm certain and I know it to be true besides mine own speculation:

I like...... this game. I like how kiryu kept his idea of choosing his path by whether he loved-or-hated it. I love how he steadily grows so much over the game and how you can't really notice until he has to make a choice and you see he's still thinks the same but acts just so more maturely. I like how he let his relationships influence him, how it isn't seem as a bad thing ever, how he is always being rewarded for it.

I like how this reflects on loyalty and brotherhod by everybody that is around him, specially nishiki. damn if I know wtf is happening on the next game but the "95 was a dark year, while kiryu serves time in jail, nishikiyama becomes a changed man" just proves that. I like how they try to be away from one another but when nishiki said they are invincible together, he was right. They don't have to be invincible all the time, but it must feel good to. and them choosing to accept the other changing in that ending scene at serena and nothing changing between them UP UNTIL they are separeted in 95' just feels right.

and, all that being said, I like how it all changed made majima into whatever is that guy by the end of yakuza 0. I somehow felt like he needed one more cutscene, specially bc the next games are really focused on kiryu, but even then, it all just fits well. his acceptance now isn't like the one in chapter 15, when he just comppels in being a pawn for sagawa or whatever. it genuinely speaks to the very first time we see him, how he knows nothing but yakuza, how it's his life, and now WELL IT ISN'T THE PERFECT ENDING but it's such a well-written one for someone such as him. he get's to keep doing what he knows, but being just so much cooler and confident about it. IT JUST FEELS. DAMN COOL.

Just overall. The story is so good, the gameplay is so good. I have a handful of poorly done mechanics/writting to point out but the good outweights the bad so hard that I just doesn't feel like it matter at all. The combat is so fun, the mini-games are intuitive and the side-stories are just gold. Having the switch between the two of them made the game just so fun, there is a bunch of stuff I didn't finish but I also didn't felt bored not even for a second. It's honestly such rewarding gaming experience and I love those a lot.

so yeah, I'll stop rambling now or whatever but just. yeah. yakuza 0 good. play it. pls. and talk to me about it. pls. ty.

#trying to act so normal on this damn essay i'm sorry you must know I was actually barking at my monitor once the end screen appeared #yakuza 0 #yakuza 0 spoilers #kelly plays ykz #there must be SO MANY typos here but idk I just needed to put my thoughts somewhere and kinda organized so I can go insane in the tags bc #GOD AJJAAJSUDGDSD BITTING MY FISTS BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL ETC ETC ETC #seda for everything that exists please I said I wanted more or my tragic brother but NOT LIKE THAT I HATE the opening for ykz 1 so much #WDYM NISHIKI NOT HUGGING KIRYU BUT FIGHTING......... WDYM. #I'm sorry if my blog turns into ykz filled the next days I've been really into giffing again and I feel ill about those characters #and now that I know the majima short hair is in all of the next games I can easily just gif ykz 0 with the idea I had so yeah. #brace yourselves or whatever. I like men a normal amount. #seeing kiryu's back on the title screen tho......... I bet nishiki colored his too..... man.... I'm normal abt thm. #I feel like playing every ykz at this point even after seeing many ppl say that you don't really have to specially 3/4 but idk. kinda #started this series really easily in a 'i'll play when I feel like it' kind of way which isn't how I approach most series #maybe I'm just used to final fantasy lol but the game is just so packed with stuff and it also have such good breaks in the main story #that it makes so much easier to take a break from it irl. genuinely such a well developed game. I'll not stop saying this lol it just. is. #can't believe i'm saying fucking “yakuza 0” when someone asks me what game I recommend them. who would've fucking thought honestly. #the day I bought the idea of trusting this game to have good written tragic brothers and started playing was a damn good choice. #i'm in too deep now. it really is one of those games that makes me emo about how video games are the superior form of story telling #anyway I miss my boys. I'll need some encouragment to keep going with the next entry but i'll so it at some point #until them please enjoy every gifset I send in you guys' way *praying emoji* #can't wait to really meet ichiban by myself!!!!!! lets go!!!! #kelly says

[onemillionfurries]

I think everyone needs to make a "peace and love on planet earth" tag for their blog. A tag where videos, images, memes, and stories can be compiled of humanity showing kindness, empathy, joy, beauty, and love. A respite from the horrors that are shoved in our faces on a daily basis. A reminder that no matter what, we are all human, we are all one, and that we are all capable of being kind to each other and bringing beauty to this world.

#lab notes #the tag doesnt need to specifically be called 'peace and love on planet earth' but yknow #god i just love humanity so much #sorry this post is so rambly and repetitive i just think its so important that we have a reminder like this yknow #pls excuse me while i cry over my love of humanity and people just being so so kind to each other #bc yeah so much fucking horrible shit is happening in the world caused by humans #but that is an extremely narrow few who are influenced by greed and power and capitalism #the vast majority of humanity is filled with those who love and care for each other #and those who love and care for complete strangers #i see way too much nihilism around humanity and its blights to the point where there are people out there who genuinely think all of #humanity is nothing but greed and suffering but no!!! we are a social species! we evolved to work together and help each other and love. #to save humanity first you have to fucking love humanity!!! #if you want to make the world a better place first you have to find a reason to love it! and we are a part of this world so you need to #have a reason to love us! to love yourself!! #go outside and spread some fucking joy to others. hold open a door for a stranger. compliment someones outfit. help someone carry #their groceries. please even just the littlest of things can mean the world to others and can make the biggest of differences. #WOW ok. speaking of rambles. #anyways #peace and love on planet earth #<- an easy way to just click this tag n go to my own #bc i think its important for people to see

[trans-xianxian]

just saw someone say that older siblings are allowed to yell at their younger siblings because they had no say in them being in the family and it's "preparing them to be yelled at in the real world" girl what the fuck are you talking about

#they were like parents shouldn't yell because they chose to have a kid but siblings had no say so its fine #literally die I think #don't yell?? at anyone??? #like do you yell at coworkers because you didn't hire them. do you yell at classmates because you didn't choose to be in their class. #the logic is so ridiculously stupid 'you cam verbally abuse people if you didn't choose for them to be in your life' go fuck yourself #also I hate the 'you can be bad to children because its preparing them for The Real World' thing #well I can knock you out because its preparing you for death. #can't even articulate why the In The Real World argument is stupid right now but you all get it #also how often does this person just get yelled at by randos in The Real World???? #also also the idea that we should normalize yelling to children so that thrh think its a normal way to be treated. die. #anyway this one single comment by a stranger on the internet has filled me with an unbelievable rage #and it was in response to someone being like once as a teenage I yelled at my 2 year old sister and I still feel bad about it #HOW IS YOUR RESPONSE TO THAT SCENARIO OH ITS OKAY OLDER SIBLINGS ARE ALLOWED TO YELL AT THEIR YOUNGER SIBLINGS #like. What #anyway don't yell at anyone please #ghost posts #text

[capfalcon]

professors will say that they're "disability friendly" and then set hard deadlines with no late work, require mandatory attendance and also not be accessible outside of specific hours like babe. you're not disability friendly and also if someone has to ask you to grant them disability accomodations, they're not accessible.

#im so fuckin tired #of having to beg and grovel and be like #and make up all these excuses #when the truth is like #i forgot!!!!!! and theyll be like #no we cant accomodate that #as if it isnt a core tenet of my disability. #as if forgetfullness isnt a CORE part of what adhd is #oh and lack of focus. and motivation. gee those both seem like things that might affect schoolwork #and instead its like can i have some accomodations please. and theyre like sure! fill out these 5 forms and then we'll give u someone to #take notes for you #and its like i dont need a fucking note taker i need my professors to stop making it mandatory to go to every single class bc i will #not have the emotional or mental energy for that every single day #or! hey give me a grace period w my fuckin homework #and then neurotypicals will be like #'oh thats not a disability u just want to get out of doing work' my guy. shut up #like its just this fundamental misunderstanding of what disability accomodations are #and the inherent practice of needing to go through all these hoops is so. why.

[floral-hex]

Haven’t been sleeping well because, and this is the stupidest reason, I’m so full of damnable longing. All I do is yearn and pine and want.

#I hate it! #I just want to fall in love! #not long distance. not through an app. I want to meet someone and be awkward and flirt and be messy and work for it. #I’m 35 now and I feel like I’m too old for that #which yeah I know sounds ridiculous. life goes on. I’ve got time. blah blah blah. #but I do wish I’d done the standard meeting and falling for someone in school and marrying young and having kids #all that milquetoast basic stuff #BUT IT’S NOT BASIC! I want that! I want that security and young love that just grows and grows! #can you imagine building that kind of connection with someone? #I know there’s plenty of valid criticisms towards marrying your high school sweetheart but come on… lemme dream a little #I don’t want to fill out applications online and trawl dating sites for someone! #I want the friends to awkward more than friends to maybe more to yes! please why did we wait I know you. I’ve known you. I accept you. #I want someone to know me and want me for who I am #aaaaaaaaaa I’m fucking foaming at the mouth #I can’t stop thinking about it and it makes my chest ache so much #and I feel like I’m too old for that! I have no social life! I’m not in school around other people! how could this even happen for me? #stupid! #😮‍💨… okay… calm down Ian… it’s cool. we’re cool. #I don’t want to sleep. I just want to lay in bed and imagine being in love all night. #gross. gross gross gross. #you can ignore this #goodbye forever #text

[flareguncalamity]

i’m sure someone on here has said this before, but i think cis tiktok really took “feminine in a masculine way” and ran with it without realizing that the appeal of being feminine in a masculine way to genderqueer people, especially afab genderqueer people, isn’t just looking hot or whatever. it’s specifically the discordance of being perceived as masculine and performing femininity.

Like, you see cis women on tiktok with the caption “trying to be feminine in a masculine way!” and then they’ll wear these super femmey suits with their hair back and like. that’s cool i guess? i’m glad you feel confident. but the angst that genderqueer people feel over wanting to be feminine in a masculine way is derived from how this feeling almost seems like an impossible goal. like, femininity is standard for women, so when people perceive you as a woman and you dress feminine there’s no perceived deviance at all. you’re just dressing and acting like how a woman should, according to the audience of people who see you on the street. The part you feel that you lack when you say ‘in a masculine way’ is the part where your femininity gets to be nonstandard.

there’s almost a kind of grossness to when cis men in particular do femininity. it ranges at times from “haha ironic comedy, isn’t it so WEIRD and WACKY when men wear skirts???” gross to something almost demonic (like how men wearing makeup were treated at the height of the satanic panic). there’s like, falseness. like the femininity is separate from you somehow, as a facade, and that there’s some kind of clash between the femininity and the person underneath. and i’m not saying those are good things- the opposite, it’s really, really bad that we treat gender deviance this way. but the longing for this experience as an afab genderqueer person is the longing to exist in a role that is non-normative without sacrificing the things we love about femininity, and to be able to be feminine without having that related back to some quintessential nature of your gender as determined by broader society. I honestly feel like Natalie Wynn described this really well when she said that for her, as a woman, there’s no “de-dragging” where the womanhood falls away from her and she ceases to be feminine in a way that a drag queen might after a performance is over. I think what genderqueer people want when they want to be feminine in a masculine way is to have that ability, to have their femininity be a costume that they can take off at will.

anyways all this to say that i don’t think cosplaying as modcloth-workwear girlboss is going to help me achieve my gender euphoria goal of old church ladies sneering at me in derision every time i wear a dress. although honestly that is a great idea for a drag queen character

#this is an extremely funny post for me to make as someone who has denied the non-binary accusations for as long as i have #like girl you are not fooling anyone with the she before the they in your pronouns. be real #oc #non-binary #genderqueer #feminine in a masculine way #obviously i don’t speak for all genderqueer people #but like. i’d love for femininity to be something i can take off when i’m not longer in the mood for it #and not something that people view as being ‘inherently attached to my essence as a woman’ or whatever #i don’t have an essence of a woman. i have like. a poorly functioning intestinal tract #the thing that is inside of me is slimy organs. please stop ascribing gender onto my nasty weird little body #there’s honestly something so alluring about giovanni pota he’s spiky pink mullet and stubble and black nail polish #like. the image of a skirt that doesn’t fit quite right on you because your hips and waist are about the same circumference. so it’s like #mismatched??? #and then the idea of wearing eyeliner but having like. stubble and acne #UGH. and like. dresses that have built in cups but you don’t have a bust? to fill it out???? auughhhh i wish i didn’t have a massive rack #like my body is SO traditionally feminine in figure i have such an hourglass silhouette and like the long legs and shit #and like. i feel like i look great maybe 40-45% of the time #i love filling out a fit and flare dress when i’m going out to hang out with lesbians and feeling very sexy in that context #but i don’t want that to be permanent yknow. there’s a restriction there that i despise #giovanni potage. idk why that corrected to pota he #considering potage is a word. fuck autocorrect

[upontheroof-withaschoolgirlcrush]

My brother needs to go to therapy. He has got huge family problems. His childhood was messed up.

#i really hope he gets enough amount of sleep everyday now #he doesn't reply/engage in conversations.. don't speak much.. kind of a silent person.. but there has been times when he was all too good #with talking to someone #Does early twenties really make you feel so much? I hope and i know and i know he will get better #so many harsh things have happened to bhaiya.. i would have never tolerated it all #i would be slamming each's face #so let me write this in my tumblr's diary #his underpants were filled with stones and his shirt was ripped when he was in 4th grade by his own sisters(cousins) #They had the “privileges” .. noone in family could speak against them cuz guess what their mother was a survival and a truly good person #So nothing was said to their kids #Anyways now we're good.. have many fun memories #Another time when he was in hostel in 6th grade some bad kids came in the bathroom camein bath #room & put bucket on his head and hit him hard #Horrible experiences #One time he was slapped by papa when papa and mummy was having a fight #And let me tell ya my father's palms are very big.. can be comforting but when applied with force one can break #I really hope everything gets better.. i'll try hard... Didn't expected april to be such a havoc-ing month #Please be kind 2023 to everyone #take the road less traveled by*

[perdvivly]

Not 100% sure I get Sam Altman being fired and replaced by Mira Murati. “Lack of confidence”? Has open AI ever done better than when Altman was at the helm?

#I feel like I must have missed something big can someone in the know fill me in please?

[hella1975]

i know it's The Thing to be upset and existential on this site but honestly? there's something so comforting about being 19. i was terrified of entering my last year of teenagehood. i have spent every year since 16 hating the passage of time and feeling like my youth was slipping away from me, and something about 19 was huge to me. it felt like the last rung on a ladder, the last step, the final show, like it was all coming to an end and i'd have to figure my life out now.

but really if turning 19 was anything then it was anticlimactic. i spent so long dreading this year that now im here it's sort of like 'oh, yeah actually people still very much see me as a child and none of my peers have their shit together either'. because newsflash, in the grand scheme of things, anything younger than 30 is still considered very young. and now that dread is gone from my life, i've found myself really looking forward to my twenties. i cant wait to have a life for myself, to surround myself with people i choose, to have my own place that i can decorate and make homely and invite friends around whenever i want, to be able to finally say and think the things i want without being crippled by the teenage terror of being seen as too weird, too cringey. i can't wait to let myself be myself. i think it's really exciting

#this is free to reblog but please dont add negative things #i understand this is not the universal experience but this is a positive post and i want to keep it that way <3 #like damn at 18 i was still a MESS like i realise now i was still very much a kid figuring shit out #just as i am now #but at 19 there's less resentment for it because it no longer feels like im running out of time #i have an entire decade dedicated to making a life for myself and making a mess of things and cleaning myself back up #and as someone who has no real goal for their twenties aside travelling bc im determined not to start a career until the last second #im really really determined to fill my life with so so much love #like it doesnt have to be exciting it can just be an extension of what i have now at university #i want coffee shops that recognise me and a flat coated wall to wall with my personality #and i want friends around to drink wine and watch pride and prejudice #and the best part is i KNOW im romanticising it! but why the fuck not? #we need to normalise romanticising the things that used to scare us #because even if my twenties dont live up to my expectations at least now im EXCITED instead of genuinely terrified #so yeah shout out to my other 19 y/os and also anyone younger who's terrified of getting older #i promise you it'll get better sooner or later