#can I talk about parts related symptoms and struggles

[thehmn]

It might simply be that I don’t frequent ADHD forums enough but I haven’t seen a whole lot of talk about learned social withdrawal.

As a child I made friends left and right but as we all turned into self-conscious teenagers it slowly became more and more difficult for me. Plain and simple, other people thought I was weird. For some reason I never got bullied which I think is related to something my teachers kept telling my parents “She’s such a sweet, bright child and we can tell she’s not malicious or trying to be disruptive on purpose but we can’t teach her anything”

Basically people couldn’t figure me out. I had good social skills with both children and adults, I had a good moral compass, i felt compassion and empathy for others and was willing to go against my friends if I felt they were being bullies, I taught myself English and my drawings showed good observation skills. Because of all that it was decided I should start school a year sooner than most kids and my parents were very proud. Unfortunately that’s probably one of the main reasons why I was never diagnosed with raging ADHD as a child. People soon realized I didn’t do well in a school setting but assumed it was because I “wasn’t done playing” and my ADHD symptoms were interpreted as childishness.

So as I got older my classmates started to distance themselves from me. They were always kind and friendly but they didn’t know how to deal with me and ever since then people have always been worryingly comfortable with calling me weird to my face. I get the impression it’s because they think it’s a choice on my part. To them I’m clearly of “normal intelligence” so I must be acting like this on purpose and my parents would repeatedly tell me to “just act normal” as a child when I told them I was struggling to make friends. I tried so damn hard but kept failing. I knew something had to be different about me and when I first heard about ADHD I thought “That’s me! That’s how I feel!” but my parents said that was impossible because I wasn’t hyperactive.

Because nobody wanted to help me I eventually learned to just stop trying to make friends and keep to myself. I was so tired of being told by friendly, well-meaning people that I was so weird and quirky and unique only for them to distance themselves once they realized it was permanent and not something I could turn on and off for parties. I always enjoyed being alone so it wasn’t a huge loss but it did feel incredibly lonely at times.

Things got a lot better when I became an adult, mostly because adults are generally more chill than teens so my ADHD behavior isn’t as embarrassing to them and ironically they’re often surprised to learn I don’t make friends easily. Unfortunately I learned to be withdrawn in my formative years so new friends are still a rarity. Before I really sat down and put my past into context I even started to wonder if I had autism despite not connecting with anything autistic people said about their experiences. I went as far as to be tested but wasn’t surprised when the diagnosis was negative because of course it was, I kinda already knew that. I was just looking for an explanation.

So while there can be overlap between ADHD and autism (I have just such a friend) my experience is also that oftentimes people with ADHD simply learn to stay away from social situations and entertain ourselves which ends up looking like autism to outsiders.

#adhd #add #autism

[huboi]

GENSHIN BOYS WITH AN AUTISTIC S/O HEADCANONS (SUMERU BOYS)🌴

character(s) — cyno, tighnari, alhaitham, kaveh, wanderer

reader’s gender is not specified, nor is their race. I always try to make my fanfics as inclusive as possible

tw/cw — none ig, lmk if there are any

note(s) — I made this as an autistic person, however this may not include like every trait of someone with autism if that makes sense. PLS DON’T USE THIS FANFIC TO SELF DIAGNOSE URSELF WITH AUTISM, it’s important to get professionally diagnosed due to overlapping symptoms

CYNO

he would be the perfect boyfriend tbh

like if you have any hyperfixations u wanna talk about? he’s all ears

even if he’s busy playing tcg with someone, he doesn’t mind you talking about your hyperfixations with him

my man can multitask, it ain’t hard

if ur not a big fan of large crowded areas, he will make sure to walk with you in the least busiest parts of sumeru city

if you don’t like loud noises, like the crowded area, he will try his best to make sure he doesn’t bring you to loud areas

if anyone ever makes fun or belittles you for having autism.... he will beat them up/hj

he will mainly use his threatening aura to make them apologies or just make them leave you alone

no one messes with the mahamatras partner and gets away with it

you have comfort foods? he’s learning how to make them. whenever he can’t make them, he will buy them for you

you’re clingy? he loves that, hug him all you want, fidget with his hands all u want, he’s smitten asf

struggle to make eye contact? he’s ok with that too! he’s actually kinda used to it tbh, cause people can barely look him in the eye due to his status

overall, quite protective and just overall rlly loving, doesn’t rlly care u have autism, he still loves u as you are <33

TIGHNARI

when it comes to your sensory issues, he can relate, as a fennec hybrid his senses can easily get overwhelmed, so don’t worry about your sensory issues being a burden, he’s totally ok with it

have comfort foods? he will make them as much as he possibly can, he doesn’t mind how simple they are, he’s making them and sometimes he will buy them whenever he goes to the city

you stim? he will support you with it, if he’s feeling generous, which he usually is since ur his partner, he will let you fidget with his tail and ears, as long as ur gentle with them obviously

have hyperfixations? he’s all ears, quite literally, you can tell him all about whatever it is ur obsessed with no matter what he’s up to, whilst he’s studying the wildlife? he doesn’t mind, whilst he’s patrolling the forest? go ahead

anyone ever makes fun of you or is mean to you, he will sort them out with a good telling off. this sassy fox man will give them the lecture of a lifetime, he doesn’t mind if it’s for u tho :)

collei is supportive as well, she’s even more so understanding than the other forest rangers mainly due to her elazer, it’s not the same in any way shape or form, but she understands what it feels like to be different

ALHAITHAM

this man has traits that are quite similar to autism, so it doesn’t bother him that you have it, he’s supportive in his own way if you know what I mean

sensory issues? oh look, there’s now a pair of noise cancelling earphones for you, how strange, how’d that get there?

people would think that your stinking annoys him, newsflash it doesn’t. in a way he finds it kinda cute, but not in a belittling way if that makes sense

have hyperfixations? he can and will listen to you all day if he has to, and he would do it gladly too

doesn’t mind if ur clingy, he can read his book whilst you hug him on the couch or sum, kills two birds with one stone, he gets his research done, and you get cuddles

he’s actually a huge softy for you but won’t admit it to anyone, not even himself :))

KAVEH

kaveh is amazing, like best supportive boyfriend alert

if you have sensory issues, he can’t really help with the big crowds and loud noise but he’ll try his best to help you cope through it and give you distractions

like if ur in a crowded erea he’ll ask you to talk about your hyperfixations to him. if you don’t have hyperfixations he’ll just ask what you have done today

when it comes to taste sensory issues, he’ll try to avoid eating food that you dont like the smell of cause he doesn’t wanna overwhelm your nose. he will eat said food like that someplace else when ur not around

if you have comfort foods, he sadly can’t really buy them often since he doesn’t have a lot of money, but now and again as a special treat he can make it for you or buy it

clingy? great, he is too, cuddle him all you want, he’s not one to complain. wanna kiss him all over? go ahead, he embraces it

tries his best to understand how you work, he can sympathise with how frustrating things can be when people don’t quite understand you and how you work

you don’t like affection? that’s fine too, he will try to keep physical affection to a minimum as much as he possibly can, he can be affectionate in other ways tho

love language is probs spending personal time together, so that’s enough for him if u don’t want affection too

overall, 10/10 best boy and baby girl, recommend

WANDERER

ngl he’s not rlly the best, but he tries. it’s just really difficult for him to be nice since after all he’s been through, he tries tho, he really does

whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed by large crowds and/or noises, he will pick you up bridal style and bring you to nahidas place, where it’s quiet and no one else is there

like certain foods? he can’t cook, since he was made by ei who can’t cook to save her life, so he will just buy your comfort foods for you instead

want cuddles? it depends on his mood wether or not he’ll comply, if he’s in a good mood, yes, if he’s in a neutral mood, yes, if he’s in a bad mood, no.

whenever you stim, he sometimes watches, other times he looks away, he doesn’t wanna say anything mean to you by accident

if you can’t understand sarcasm, he’ll try his best to not use it around you, but it’s difficult sometimes since he has used sarcasm for so long

if you have hyperfixations and like to talk about them, he will listen, doesn’t mind hearing you talk about your interests, in a strange way it fascinates him, sometimes he asks questions other times he just stays silent and nods his head now and again in acknowledgment

if he ever hears anyone being mean to you, wether that be on purpose or not, he’s finna throw some hands, and he will win. tries not to actually fight them, tries to argue with them. he tries to fight less cause it makes nahida kinda upset

speaking of nahida, she’s amazing with you, like the best person to ever go to. she’s the god of wisdom after all, more or less knows how to take care of you during certain phases, he sometimes actually goes to her for advice on your behaviours and how best to support you, but you didn’t hear that from me

content belongs to @huboi on tumblr, DO NOT REPOST ON ANY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS WHATSOEVER

#genshin x reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin fluff #genshin headcanons #cyno x reader #cyno x gn reader #cyno fluff #cyno headcanons #tighnari x reader #tighnari x gn reader #tighnari fluff #tighnari headcanons #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x gn reader #alhaitham fluff #alhaitham headcanons #kaveh x reader #kaveh x gn reader #kaveh fluff #kaveh headcanons #wanderer x reader #wanderer x gn reader #wanderer fluff #wanderer headcanons #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x gn reader #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact headcanons

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

'that adhd feel of-' 'adhd is not being able to' 'adhd is when you forget-' you're describing executive dysfunction. that's...it's executive dysfunction. like I NEED you to understand this.

I don't think this is purposefully malicious but jesus fucking christ it's no wonder the ~neurodiverse~ community on here can feel super alienating. I'd fucking eat own shoe if any so-called 'neurospicy' (derogatory) blogs can name EVEN ONE other condition then either adhd or autism as part of neurodiversity. ppl think it starts and ends there - and what I find the most infuriating, is that one of the most common symptoms when it comes to diverse brains (aka executive dysfunction) is talked about like it's SOLELY for adhd.

look. I got dyspraxia and ocd - two things considered a part of the neurodiverse umbrella. I also have learning disabilities that have affected my whole school life, and memory issues that I've been explaining to people as to why I've already forgotten their name since I was a kid. YET, ocd is rarely talked about in neurodiverse circles or even considered, and I'll literally pay two bucks to anyone reading this who can tell me what dyspraxia is (who isn't a professional or someone who has it, and if you do have dyspraxia, then I am giving you a cookie and fist bump). yet often, when I see posts passed around talking about issues like poor motivation or time blindness or bad memory, I find a lot to relate to - bc executive dysfunction, in case anyone missed it, affects many, many conditions! you don't even have to be neurodiverse; it's known to affect those with anxiety and depression too! there's so much layover - yet, I will see, inevitably, the post attributed to adhd or possibly asd. frankly, it's both alienating to those with other neurodiverse conditions, and possibly misleading, even if unintentional, to say it's an 'adhd thing.' you guys run the market and it's over-saturated; I'm just asking for adhd/asd to share a piece of it's throne.

to be honest, as what's considered a 'neurodiverse person', I barely find any commonality within the community. yes, as mentioned above, I will relate to common shared symptoms like executive dysfunction, but it's a complete shut-out when we act like those symptoms are only attributed to one condition. frankly with my ocd, I find way more commonality in schizophrenia/paranoia/psychosis communities then in the ND one (I would never act or say I know what it's like to experience those conditions, but I can relate to the fear of some outside force telling you something horrible is going to/will happen), and with dyspraxia, even when we talk about it, it gets so little coverage and recognition it leaves the whole community a bit dry. if anyone gives a shit, then maybe shine the light on us and others kicked to the sides (ppl with learning disabilities, dysgraphia, language disorders, and those with schizophrenia/affective disorders like I mentioned earlier, who are so often vilified by ppl online and on this site). we all struggle with executive dysfunction and a million other layover symptoms, and the nerotypical world is just as hard for us to navigate even if no one is bothering to listen.

I'm rambling at this point. everyone just..do better and actually recognize the 'diversity' in 'neurodiverse.'

#neurodivergent #actually ocd #dyspraxia #actually neurodiverse #actually dyspraxic #actually ld #executive dysfunction

[rin-and-jade]

Reflections Beyond One Could See: A Detailed Post on Subsystems

"Just like a mirror, capable of depicting a whole scene.. once shattered, it shows many other angles and views that also made the initial reflection less coherent and fragmented."

Before you proceed, this post is the continuation of the previous post , here we cover many other details and information that people had never talked about for these 4 types. If you had seen it, let's begin!

The purpose it has..

I will be talking about the type 1 and 3 first.

Subsystems can be said as a different variant, though a related form to splitting (where it popped a part off someone) which may or may not be related with the initial alter, usually more distinct/unrelated.

In general means, subsystem is emphasized as a form of splitting for the specific alter to cope from distress, or to keep functioning, that isn't involving the whole collective.

All about type 1 & 3..

A reminder that the frequency and severity of how many facets it can break off, or how easy it can create subsystems come from the alter's own stress tolerance; which means some can form them easier (like me), while some are still holding on and stable.

Type 1 - Polyfaceted Subsystem

This type happens to be inside an alter due to still having reasons of feeling intact or together, usually different sides of the same alter. This is made to understand that there might be conflict with some thoughts or views, or due to instability with no intention of rejecting its own sides of selves.. fragmenting to each facet one has, now more autonomous that makes it easier to organize/understand each facets.

(Selfmade name from Poly in Greek; and facette in French, means "many face")

The common obstacles found in this type:

Switches are not as noticeable, especially in lesser distinctions between each facets

Prone to be blurry, or struggle with communicating as the opinions are not synchronized

often causing confusion or disorientation in decision making, due to having many sides but one body trying to operate its own ways

Type 3 - Monodive Subsystem

This type happens when there has been a rejection of identity/trait, or no longer able to cope with the presence of the problem to the core, trouble moving on or trouble keeping other facets together,, so in order to adapt, it splits distinct alters that separates from the main in order to lessen the burden/symptoms. Now all independently autonomous, it may have a similar appearance or an incredibly different look along with it's personality.

(Selfmade name from Mono in Greek; and Divisus in latin, means "separated one")

The common problems found in this type:

Contrasting views and opinions, which creates difficulties finding the middle ground

Problems with gathering evidence due to compartmentalization of memories, or traits, as it is harder to identify or understand fully autonomous splits

May follow with memory loss or skill for the initial alter, if still existing, and foregoes a personality change which can be confusing/distressing

The other meaning..

Okay, now I'll talk about 2 and 4 here.

Subsystem can also be defined by a group of alters by any means, for the most frequent examples such as having the same set of roles, or origins.

Theyre different from polyfaceted and monodive as these two types of systems can extremely vary from one system to another, there is no 'general' rules or requirements and only by reason of grouping.

All about 2 & 4..

Type 2 - Tersynd Subsystem

This type is about a set of specific alters that can traverse out-of-reach innerworld regions with ease that most people couldn't access, or have a hard time reaching to the destination, even staying for a prolonged time, and especially if it needs that specific alter to bring others there. (Also knew from personal experience)

This can also be applied to communicational barriers as some can talk easier compared to others, as it might sound more distant or blurry or can't 'click' nor mediate.

(Selfmade name from Iter in latin; and Syndedemenos in greek, means "travel and connected")

How tersynd works:

It is based on the level of connectedness to a particular area of interest/origin, which is made to be a home or area for similar kinds of alters exclusively. Be it origin or roles

Other folks may not be able to enter or stay in an exclusive area due to a different purpose or off-synchronized with the intention of the area, as there is no personal significance to connect with

Barriers do not only exist in worlds, but also communication too. There might be ease of conversing with a similar group of alter than to the less connected ones as it might have different jobs/roles, thus lesser importance to interact (This can be practiced to build better communication, as the brain loves compartmentalizing and keeping alters separated for survival)

Type 4 - Neofamile Subsystem

This type is for those out there, who developed a connection, or a familiarity who all belonged from different origins,, for example, elves and vampires may not be directed by the same species but they have similarities that connects them together such as longevity and supernatural/fictional beings.

This one is rather self explanatory too.

(selfmade name from Extraneo in latin; and familia in latin, means "from outside but family")

Last words..

I hope that covers every part of what people rarely talk about in this topic, and has been informative from start to finish!

Also, what do you guys think of the names? Should we keep them or stick to "types" instead??

And thankyou for reading to the end, i tried my best to make it as compact as possible.. let me know your own subsystem experiences, or your thoughts on this topic,, i wish you all a good day <3

I can elaborate in a separate post on how to integrate subsystems for healing, just let me know

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder #sysblr #plural #system stuff #Jeducates

[stvnszlr]

HI! Here to beg u for Steven adhd headcanons

Pls i promise i'll be good this year.

oh my goodness … so um this is something i am like way too passionate about !! im going to seem like the craziest crazy person EVER by sharing this cuz i wrote .… a lot but u guys gotta stick with me okay you’ll see the vision

THANK YOU for asking this btw ! this is one of the things that makes me relate to steven the most ,,>_<,, and i will literally talk abt it anytime

☆ steven adhd hc’s / reasons why i think it’s possible he has adhd ! ☆ ( coming from someone who has a severe combined type adhd diagnosis )

please note this is all just speculation !! i’ve noticed some connections between his behavior / things he’s spoken about and adhd symptoms , but i am certainly no doctor and the only one who can truly determine any of this is steven himself . these observations are mostly just for my comfort as a neurodivergent person :)

ohhh stevie is a BIG stimmer :) he taps on everything in sight , he also hums a lot and likes to move his body ! bouncing , jumping , flapping , shaking , jiggling , playing with his hair ( i have video evidence sue me >:( )

people often describe him as “twitchy” , randomly making odd movements or sounds that can surprise and confuse those around him

vocal stims , dude . like my man is a parrot he’ll repeat random phrases over and over without thinking about it , just going about his day mumbling the most obscure sentences without even realizing

i’ve also noticed from watching videos he has a big BIG tendency to repeat things other people say !! i think that’s a combo of vocal stimming and also struggling to fit in when making conversation

he has literally confessed to having sensory issues related to taste and texture ??!?!? so i imagine he has them with other things too it’s mostly touch or sound related things that really get to him and can cause overwhelm but honestly anything that catches him at the right time will have him retreating inside himself and blocking everything out , unable to respond cuz he can’t think or listen

also seems to struggle with clothes touching his body ! he is always in loose tank tops and wears a lot of cropped pants / shorts , and has never really worn a lot of accessories unlike his bandmates . this could definitely be attributed to sensory issues , especially hating the feeling of wearing jewelry ( rings especially ) and also makeup on his face

drums !!! poppy loves drumming , it is SUCH a good stimulant for his brain cuz it works muscle memory , gives a dopamine rush , and combines both creative thought with an athletic activity

hyperfixations oh my god he is so bad . so so bad . he’ll pick up something for like a few weeks and dedicate EVERYTHING to it just to never pick it up again

very typical hyperactive type adhd , trouble focusing and sitting still OH MY GOD this man cannot sit normally for the life of him

um hyperfocus also !! drums is prolly his biggest one but if it’s something he’s super tuned into he can just . sit there and mindlessly work on it for HOURS before someone notices and is like hello take a break ??

didn’t like school cuz he always felt like he wasn’t smart , he was actually really interested by some subjects but just couldn’t keep up as a student :/ he also started getting into skating and music which were much better dopamine activities than school so he kinda just . quit ?

part of why his mom kicked him out so young , he was impulsive and reckless and very VERY high energy , easily irritated and his emotions had no filter / couldn’t control them or his actions based on them

this poor kid is so forgetful . he really cannot remember shit and it gets him in trouble a lot ! he’s gotta be reminded by the guys about EVERYTHING and it annoys them to no end , and steven always feels bad cause he wishes he could remember , but for some reason he forgets every time !

it’s where his irritability comes from too , he sometimes flips like a switch and can get really defensive and aggressive . he’ll lash out and turn really angry — not in a super serious way , but it’s the reason he gets in so many little fights with all the other guys , especially axl .

this is also tied in with the rlly strong sense of justice that neurodivergent people feel !! the reason he’d stand up and talk back when everyone else could just let it go

easier to fall into addiction and harder to get out of it . places a vice on his brain , trapping him in dependency on the drugs and making it so much more difficult to quit — why it took him so much longer to get sober than any of the others , even after all his health scares

drugs are also a coping mechanism for sensory issues and that awful , isolating feeling of being built just slightly different than everyone else

UM ???? LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT STEVEN POST GNR + LEAVING THE BAND IS JUST SCREAMING RSD ??? like the abandonment issues built up from his childhood ON TOP of being insanely sensitive to disappointing others / feeling unwanted ?? yeah i fucking understand why he couldn’t let go of it for almost twenty years of his life that’s like the worst possible thing to go through as someone hypersensitive to feelings of rejection bro . oh my god .

rsd also attributes to him being really eager to please especially with friends , and trying to talk himself up and seem cool and on their level and worth keeping around :(

i do also think it is likely that he learned to mask a LOT of his symptoms , of course not all of them ( as we can pretty obviously see in like . any video ever taken of him ) but a lot of the less socially acceptable ones he naturally forced himself to hide :( 

#thanks for listening to my yapping #i am begging this man to take the brown scales test he would be off the charts #steven adler #saz speaks #saz requests ! #guns n roses #gnr #steven gnr #steven adler adhd #guns n roses headcannons #steven adler imagine #adhd #neurodivergent

[the-habitat-sysblog]

DID ALTER EXPLAINS: DISSOCIATION

what is dissociation? dissociation is a symptom experienced by many. it is especially common in those with C-PTSD, major depressive disorder + related mood disorders, borderline personality disorder, dissociative disorders, & complex dissociative disorders. today, we will break down what dissociation is & isn't, as well as techniques for coping with dissociative symptoms.

DISSOCIATION EXPLAINED

dissociation is described as the mental process wherein a person disconnects from their own thoughts, feelings, memories, sense of identity &/or the world around them¹.

this symptom is most often formed as a maladaptive coping mechanism to protect the brain from traumas.

patients may report feeling unreal, "floaty" or otherwise lacking the ability to ground themself & be present in the moment. there are multiple aspects to dissociation:

DEPERSONALISATION - feelings that one is seeing one's thoughts, feelings, or body or parts of one's body from a distance². you may feel that you are unreal.

DEREALISATION - feelings that the external world is alien, distant, distorted or falsified³. you may feel that the world is unreal.

IDENTITY CONFUSION - one may lose one's sense of identity, resulting in feeling as if one exists on "autopilot", with no personality or consciousness of one's own.

AMNESIA - partial or complete memory loss may accompany episodes of more severe dissociation.

DISSOCIATION - THE MYTHS

dissociation is NOT a conscious choice. yes, a patient may refuse to use grounding techniques, resulting in worse dissociative symptoms; however dissociation as a trauma response is often a subconscious action⁴.

dissociation =/= daydreaming.

dissociation & dissociative disorders are not that rare⁵. their prevalence rate differs throughout the world, but the rate of diagnosis for dissociative disorders in the US ranges from 13-20%.

medication will not cure dissociation⁵. dissociation can only be treated through therapy, i.e. CBT, DBT & psychodynamic psychotherapy.

everyone will experience dissociation slightly differently!

GROUNDING TECHNIQUES FOR DISSOCIATIVE EPISODES

below are a handful of websites & resources with tips to cope with severe dissociation. different techniques will work for different patients, however the most common method for grounding yourself often aims to distract, centre & calm the dissociated person. as dissociation is often a response to trauma or other stressors, these coping strategies place a focus on bringing the patient down from that fight-or-flight mode.

this has been a quick summary of the complex experience that is dissociation!

i hope that these resources may help those who are struggling with severe dissociation to decrease the distress these symptoms are causing them. understanding what dissociation is from a logical standpoint can help one pinpoint, diagnose & treat the symptoms, which may lead to a better quality of life.

POST AUTHOR: finn🍄 (he/it) | mr collins🎣 (they/he)

SOURCES: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

DISCLAIMER: this post - alongside any other posts from @the-habitat-sysblog - is not a substitute for professional medical help. the DID ALTER EXPLAINS series is written with reference to the medical research of others, CDD community input & the author's personal experience.

#finn🍄.txt #mrcollins🎣.txt #; #🎤 #[ #did alter explains #did system #actually traumagenic #traumagenic system #cdd #sysblr #system #cdd community #system stuff #dissociative identity disorder #did community #dissociation #dissociative #dissociative system #actually dissociative #]

[eclipse15]

hello! im sorry if this ask is triggering in any form, please do take care of yourself first!

there isn't much out there about the nature of sexual programming in reference to symptoms beyond hyper/hypo sexuality. could you talk in more depth about what symptoms might suggest sexual programming?

we're really struggling to identify if our sexual dysfunctions are related to programming or just unfortunatr consequences of trauma

TW: IN DEPTH TBMC (BETA) TALK, SA TALK, VOMIT MENTION

Hi yes I’ve been waiting for an ask like this. Here are some consequences/effects of sexual aka beta programming. These will not be pretty and some of these might be hard to sympathize with, cause they’re so ugly in nature. With that being said…

Behavioral:

Asking for sexual things you don’t want, especially from an abuser

Masturbating to the thought of you or another person being SA’d

Constant sexual behaviors towards and about peers and self (hypersexuality)

Having sex with other victims, even if they don’t want it, if ordered by abusers (SA under duress) (this sometimes takes threatening to work, but not always)

Interacting times you’ve been SA’d, almost as if hallucinating that you’re in that moment

Mental and emotional effects:

Desiring sex from somebody who has SA’d you, desiring SA in general

Enjoying abusive sexual situations done onto you

Feeling discomfort with sex despite thinking its good

Believing sex is an essential part of somebody’s worth or that sex is all that makes a person

Thinking that you and/or others do not have the ability to say “no” and/or shouldn’t say no

Low arousal despite normal or high libido

High arousal despite low libido

Physical effects:

Sexual disfunction (erectile, clitoral, etc.)

Constant high libido, no matter the situation

High libido caused by the thought of you or another being SA’d

Genital trauma (excessive scarring, missing sexual organs that you were born with, pain when doing normal things, etc.)

Nauseous or actually getting sick when enjoying a sexual experience

These are all the ones off the top of my head I can think of but there are definitely some more. But yeah. Hope this helped!

#🧩 #huge tw #tw tbmc #tbmc #tw ramcoa #ramcoa #tw csa #tw sa #did alter #did osdd #osddid #hc did #polyfragmented #polyfrag #polyfrag system #actually mentally ill #endos dni

[emoprincey]

Sanders Sides and autism

Ok, it's the last day of @autisticsidesweek today, and I figured this would be the perfect time to post this essay about how I think Sanders Sides relates to autism.

Headcanons about the Sides being autistic are pretty commonplace, which isn't surprising given how many autistic people there are in the fandom, and in fandoms in general, for that matter. As an autistic fander, I am of course partial to these headcanons. But that's not exactly what I want to address today.

Today, I want to talk about how the concept of Sanders Sides naturally lends itself to having autistic-coded characters, and how this coding is actually a fundamental part of the show.

Before I start, I think it's relevant to mention that Thomas has ADHD. This has a lot of symptoms in common with autism, and is probably a big reason why some of the Sides resonate so strongly with autistic people. However, I think there are other aspects of their characterisation that also make them unintentionally autistic-coded.

First of all, the characters have very clearly defined personality traits and interests. While autism can lead to someone having an unclear sense of self, it does come with a need to sort things into categories. An autistic person might define themself by specific traits, such as being creative or logical.

Additionally, the Sides' interests often seem like special interests - that is, an interest that feels more important than a regular interest, and I speak from experience when I say a special interest can consume every waking thought and make it impossible to think about anything else. This is most obvious with Virgil, whose interest in emo subculture and music informs not only his taste in music but his dress sense, and his personality. But this is also true of the other sides - Roman is not actually a prince, but he dresses as Prince Charming and always tries to act like a prince, Patton tries to fit the role of a dad, and Logan a teacher. All of them base their personalities and styles around one specific interest or trait, the way an autistic person might do with a subject they're interested in.

Even the fact that they wear the same clothes all the time ties in with this. Autistic people very often have comfort items, including clothing which they want to wear every day. From a meta perspective, their costumes obviously stay the same to make characters played by the same person more distinct, and because of wardrobe budget. But in-universe, these are characters who have the ability to shapeshift into whatever they want, and wear whatever they want, yet they always choose to stick to the same outfits.

Secondly, the characters in Sanders Sides have difficulty seeing things from anyone else's point if view. This is an integral part of the series, and many of the plots revolve around the Sides struggling to understand each other’s perspectives. Logan and Roman notably get into a lot of arguments as a result of not understanding each others perspectives. Low empathy or varying empathy levels in different areas can be a trait of autism, which is part of the reason autistic people find it hard to relate to others, and I think this is present in Sanders Sides.

I've already mentioned how autistic people often group things into categories. This can also come across in a very black-and-white way of thinking about things. From personal experience, I'd describe this as only seeing things one way or another - for example, finding it difficult to compromise, or accept that people can do both good and bad things without being sorted into the categories of Good and Bad. This isn't the case for all autistic people, but both of these examples are particularly relevant to Sanders Sides. The whole idea of the light side/dark side dichotomy is a pretty straightforward example of this kind of thinking.

Patton in particular has a very black-and-white way of thinking about morality, and inability to see things from a perspective other than his own. Another thing linked to autism is a strong sense of justice - or at least, a strong sense of perceived justice. This means that autistic people tend to cling to the morals they've been taught, (whether that is because of the black-and-white thinking, or finding comfort in clearly defined rules in a world where little else seems to make sense, or a combination of the two). This is exactly what Patton does. He also struggles to see how the moral standards he's been taught could possibly be wrong.

It would be remiss of me to write an essay about autism-coding in Sanders Sides and not dedicate a section to Logan specifically.

Logan has a lot of more well-known autistic traits. He likes schedules and punctuality, meeting deadlines and making sure all of his time is planned. A lot of autistic people struggle to function without a rigid schedule and don't like changes to plans.

He also has a tendency to take things literally. This is shown by his panicked reaction of "who gave him a knife?" to Virgil’s "can I take a stab?". He always clarifies when he means something figuratively, because he would need the clarification if someone was talking to him. Idioms and slang phrases don't come naturally to him, so he uses note cards to help himself remember them.

He's very single-minded and struggles to see things from other's perspectives. Although he makes a clear effort to try, it does take conscious effort that it probably wouldn't take an allistic person. When discussing schedules with Roman, he doesn't see anything wrong with only leaving 5 minutes for creativity, because that's not his domain.

Difficulty connecting to or identifying one's own emotions can also be a trait of autism. Logan states frequently that he doesn't have emotions, or doesn't feel anything. That is honestly what autism can feel like sometimes. Even if the emotions are there, it can be really difficult to tell the difference between sadness and anger, feeling tired or frustrated or just hungry. This reminds me of Logan because even though he's clearly been angry and excited and scared on screen, he still insists that he doesn't feel those emotions.

This is all to say, I think the fact that the sides base their lives on specific interests, generally have difficulty empathising with each other, and other aspects of their characterisation make them unintentionally autistic-coded. This format of show especially lends itself to that because of the characters personifying abstract concepts and having very distinct designs.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #the dark sides aren't rlly mentioned that much so i won't tag them #sanders sides analysis #autisticsidesweek2023 #i could maybe elaborate or word things better in future. im tired but i wanted to get this out today

[disabledunitypunk]

Is the person who made a meme about your shared disability that you don't relate to "a faker who is making light of your disability", or someone with a different experience who uses humor to cope?

Is the person who made an aesthetic board about hospitals an abled person who doesn't recognize that hospitals can be sources of medical trauma, or someone using art to deal with their own medical trauma, or any other number of things that aren't about being careless about trauma?

Is the person who makes the seemingly cringiest instagram #sickcore posts about anything from their mobility aids to their eye bags "romanticizing and/or fetishizing" disability, or are they a disabled person coping with extremely debilitating and potentially dangerous or terminal symptoms by radically accepting them?

I know normally I do focus on ableism as a whole, by trying to tie in online attitudes to very real IRL oppression as well as by generally talking about a variety of examples of ableism both on and offline. (It is the nature of a social media blog that at least a significant portion of what we address will be responses to other users of this platform, though.)

This is a much more purely online issue than most... but it still affects real people. The cruelty and bullying over how people cope with their disabilities is still being done to, hurting, and in some cases traumatizing, real people.

I've been lucky enough to avoid this online at least (though not as much IRL, ironically, though it manifests in a slightly different way obviously). But... I'm one of those people that copes in "cringe" ways that focus on the "aesthetics" of my disabilities or use humor to cope or even, horror, romanticize my own intensely personal experience of my own specific disabilities because looking at it through rose colored glasses hides the fucking bloodstains for a few minutes.

Which is a metaphor to simply say that viewing my own hardships and struggles as positive in a twisted way as a personal choice helps me get through the fact that they ARE intense hardships and struggles.

We reblogged a post earlier today that we have since taken down. We (attempt to) refuse to platform people who are ableist against any kind of disabled people if we are aware of it on principle, other than to shut down said ableism if we feel it outweighs the added reach given to them by our platform. But - the point of this post was good. The point of this post was about having a complex relationship with disabilities and that however you feel personally about your disabilities is okay.

This doesn't just extend to palatable feelings, like being sad about loss of function or proud to have a disability it's considered "acceptable" to be proud of. It doesn't just extend to feelings that make sense, such as wishing you could get rid of a disability you despise that has only horrific symptoms, or not wanting to get rid of a disability that is well-accommodated and an important part of your identity.

It's also about wishing you could not be disabled in a way that most people with said disability seem to be proud of, and even that you may be proud of but still wish not to be. It's about not wanting to get rid of a disability even though you hate having it. It's about being proud of having unpalatable disabilities and being fine with loss of function and also, I think perhaps more than any of this...

It's about expressing any feelings about your own experience with your disability whatsoever without judgment. It's about when you talk about or show or otherwise share your feelings in any form, and how you cope, and how you celebrate, and where you grieve and where you find joy and where those two are the same thing, that all of that is not just okay but extremely good and important.

(Obvious disclaimer that this does not extend to talking shit or being ableist about OTHER people's disabilities or experiences with a shared diagnosis/disorder/condition, in case my specific phrasing of "your own experience with your disability" gets lost in my hyperverbality.)

I think really, my whole point is, you DON'T have psychic access to other people's brains. You DON'T know that people expressing their relationship with disability in ways you don't like is malicious bad acting rather than just a different experience than yours. And quite frankly, basic class solidarity demands that no matter how annoying you might find other disabled people, you at least owe them the benefit of the doubt.

Let people post stuff about disability that is humorous, or aesthetic-focused, or even which looks at their own struggles through a positive lens (yes, even if it is somewhat reductive).

These aren't claiming to be education posts, and we are not responsible for any ableist assumptions on the part of abled people. Just like you are not responsible for correcting them if their takeaway is that an extremely distressing and dysfunction-causing disability (of any kind) is just "quirky" or "not that bad" or even "desirable", neither are the people making the posts responsible for accounting for the assumptions of ignorant people who aren't bothering to learn.

But if it really bothers you that much, a more productive use of your time than harassing other disabled people would literally be just reblogging education posts, even if you can't make your own.

And, of course, it goes without saying that taking it a step further and fakeclaiming people because you don't like how they handle being disabled is just blatant ableism. Finding someone personally annoying does not make them not disabled. Hell, someone actively being harmful and bigoted doesn't make them not disabled, as disabled people who fakeclaim prove.

Anyway, I'm off to some disabled aesthetic tags because my physical AND mental disabilities are kicking our fucking ass right now, and I could use the comfort of seeing other sick people finding our shared experiences of sickness beautiful and worthy of art in any way at all. But I'll leave you with: in a world where our narratives are largely limited to inspiration porn and tragedy porn, is it really so weird or terrible to post on social media in a way that says "yeah, this sucks, but because it's about my disabled experiences it's beautiful and worthy of seeing in a positive light"? Is that not also a form of radical defiance?

#ableism #need to tag #mod stars

[space-station-collective]

some of the less pretty parts of plurality

we talk a lot on this blog about the funny or nice parts of being plural, but there's also a lot of bad shit that can come with it. it's not all good, just like it's not all bad. it just is! sometimes, seeing posts like this makes us feel a little better, knowing we aren't alone in these struggles and seeing other people who have come through it, so, here's this

this is going to require a lot of me being vulnerable on the internet lmao

everything is going under a cut, and i'm marking applicable TW and CWs here as well as in the tags. i tried to keep it as light as possible (if there's any tags i missed, PLEASE do let me know and i'll add them ASAP /gen)

(this is also quite a long post, under the cut the word count is: 437)

WARNINGS: addiction mentions, physical illness, exotrauma mentions

-) developing an addiction/dependency that everyone has to manage, due to one headmate's actions

-) trying to collectively recover from addiction when not everyone wants to, and some headmates actively working against the progress and goals

-) more specifically, having to maintain a clean streak for everyone, not just one individual. not just yourself. we have an agreement- we stick together with this stuff

-) headmates who actively dislike people we know, and generally collectively like, and having to manage and ignore secondhand emotions towards those people when the headmates in question are around (not to say, ignoring how those headmates feel about people, but moreso not letting the emotions bleed through into our own interactions)

-) panicking because your job directly relates to helping other headmates, and despite your best efforts, things keep getting worse (not directly applicable to me who is writing this -host)

-) having to agree with headmates, who have done nothing wrong, that they can't be around front, because they're symptom holders, and the body is ill enough all the time that we physically can't handle them fronting

-) fighting. constant fighting. i can't think of a day since our syscovery that there hasn't been some sort of fight, argument, breakdown, violence, some sort of incident internally

-) so many headmates with so much exotrauma. some of their triggers have bled into our collective triggers, and holy shit is it hard to explain thost to people who don't understand exomemories, or even who don't know about the system

-) having to watch littles who are far too young for any of this experience this whole ordeal

-) "Atlantis" by Seafret. it's about an extremely different topic, but the lyrics hit home. "i can't save us, my atlantis, we fall. we built this town on shaky ground." because holy fuck, it feels that way sometimes

several of these things are now managed, several are not. being human is a weird, messy, fucked up experience, and when you shove a bunch of consciousnesses into one human body, it gets even more convoluted

whoever you are, whatever reason you might have for reading this: i love you. you are not alone in your struggles. you have support from so many places, and you will get through whatever you're currently experiencing, be it so simple as your favourite pencil breaking, all the way to personal tragedy. you are loved

-the host (he/they), expressing thoughts of the collective

(scheduling this to post outside of the queue because our content is usually much more lighthearted than this and i don't want to take up a spot for that)

#spacestationcollective #sysblr #system #plurality #plural #plural system #osddid #plural community #dissociative system #serious post #addiction mention #addiction #cw addiction mention #cw addiction #tw addiction #tw addiction mention #addiction cw #addiction tw #<- i know thats a lot but i want to be SO thorough for this

[spooksforsammy]

Welcome to my page!! My names is Amy

Important things to know:

🫧 I am African and Native American and minor

🎧I was diagnosed with a speech delay at a young age and started speaking extremely late. I had a lisp and multiple problems pronouncing certain words and sounds. My language abilities change frequently but I still struggle deeply with expressing and understanding.

🕸️I have difficulties with social interactions. This includes engaging, initiating, and understanding the people I’m talking to. My interests are limited which means I don’t talk to or follow many people.

What you see here isn’t my full life. Don’t tell me how much I do and don’t struggle, I am a person on the internet you don’t know me

Other information!!

🧩I have ASD or autism spectrum disorder

🗣️I am semi verbal and have a moderate- severe speech impairment. I’m also a part time AAC user. My communication is off n ability n skills changes frequently.

🧠I have severe depression, anxiety, and PCOS. I suspect BPD, NPD and bipolar disorder but am not self diagnosing those

😆I don’t understand tone but tone tags also don’t help! I’m sorry if my tone is off, let me know your tone and give me some time.

💉I get sick frequently n document what symptoms/ problems that get. My account has a tw for sickness because of that. Be aware if things like that trigger you. All post like that are tagged accordingly.

Gender and identity

🏳️‍🌈I have multiple gender and sexuality identities. I’m grayromantic, pansexual, quoiromantic. I’m apagender and nonhuman. Don’t have other species though, just don’t feel human.

Pronouns it/ its or just use Amy!

I have an understanding on gender and different identities but low understanding on why; this makes struggle with other genders and pronouns. Tell me if get wrong but please understand even if try, might not get right. If just can’t use your pronouns will say so and ask for other options. Please understand this because of autism

Don’t have DNI!! I block freely. I don’t like fakeclaimers, I hate them with a passion. I don’t care the reason, what they did. Only way tell if faking is if they admit or professional evulate and say they don’t. You can’t decide that!

💬Anyone can interact! Just know am minor. If you uncomfortable with that or make me uncomfortable you will be blocked!

Tagging system

* all post here on out will be tagged based on the following

🌀#speech4amy: all post made by me

🌀#babyamy: anything related to age regression or age dreaming

🌀#amytalksaac: post written with aac or talk about my use with aac

🌀#personalamy: post about personal situations. These post might also have a tw on them

🌀#amy’spoetry: any poetry or related made by me

Updated as of April 5 2024

#intoduction #speech4amy #actually autistic #dni list #aac user #disabled poc

[rayssyscourse]

Tbh my biggest problem with the "don't like how intertwined the endo and traumagenic communities are" take is that like. Even when I go to traumagenic-only spaces they're usually talking about the same stuff I see in decent mixed spaces. It hurts more in traumagenic-only spaces too to see the same discussions that aren't the ones you need. I've had a better time in general trauma spaces rather than sys-centric ones actually having discussions. Imo I think it'd be better for mixed spaces to take on traumagenic resources and guidance rather than them to be separated more. Even traumagenic communities seem to be eclipsed by the "system" part and rarely address the other symptoms that make it debilitating for me & others who are having dissociative disorder struggles that aren't directly related to "being a system"

Hello! Thank you for the ask <3 this is a perspective I haven't heard before, so thanks for sharing, and here's my thoughts.

I see where you're coming from. And honestly I agree with a decent amount of what you're saying. I think you're right that in all spaces, the real discussions can be ignored or issues brushed under the carpet, with emphasis only put on certain parts. I don't see anything wrong with endo spaces taking on traumagenic resources (as long as it doesn't take away from the traumagenics who need them). Plurality can be a struggle for everyone, so I think you're right in saying that all spaces should focus more on those resources and discussions.

But at the same time, I think that can still happen alongside the partial separation. At the end of the day, the difference between traumagenic and endogenic systems is that traumagenics are just that: traumatized. With that comes dissociation, flashbacks, amnesia, and a variety of other symptoms that are unique to being traumagenic. You might be right that general trauma spaces have better discussions or resources, but I don't think that calls for the removal of traumagenic system spaces.

Endos and traumagenics alike can both benefit from better discussions and resources, for sure. But I feel like the struggles of plurality, while certainly having some similarities, are very different for systems of different origins. I think we can still have good mixed spaces and communities, but I also still want better distinctions between the unique experience of traumagenic plurality, and for spaces catering to said experience be respected and separate from those who do not have it.

I hope that makes sense, and I'm not at all trying to tell you what to think or go after you, lol. This is just my opinion, so feel free to do with it what you will. Hope you have a lovely evening!

#syscourse #rayssyscourse

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi, I'm a system and have mutliple other disorders. All "cis" if you will. I'm not here to shame anyone but I would genuinely like to know how this makes sense to you? I want to know your persepctive because I don't understand and maybe I can get some more insight from someone else. I feel invalidated when people talk about endogenic and "transsystems" because my disorder is not an aesthetic and I had to go through so much trauma that turned me into who I am today and not in a good way. It's painful and it hurts when I see people making fun of my experience by saying they've acquired their system "naturally" even though that's not how the disorder works (By "making fun of" I mean that's how it feels). It also feels transphobic to hijack trans wording such as "cis" and "trans" even though disorders are different to gender. Gender is a social construct and disorders are just not. They can't go away, they can't change. I can never get my childhood back and I struggle to be able to be myself with my Autism and ADHD, I find it hard to keep relationships from the immense anxiety I've gotten from my CPTSD symptoms and the chronic mistrust I've had to develop to survive. I guess I just want to ask why? Why you believe in these things? It's not that I hate you, I don't, I genuinely want to understand because currently I feel hurt, and upset, and made fun of in a way I've never felt before and I just want to know the logic and reasoning behind this kind of stuff before I make a judgement.

This is an old post, so it's entirely possible you've already made up your mind on these issue now. But either way, I decided I might as well answer now

Personally, I feel these are different subjects.

First...

Disorders Are a Social Construct

Not in the same way as gender or race, mind you.

Rather, disorders are bureaucratic labels tacked onto symptoms. These symptoms may or may not actually be related.

We live in a universe with DID and OSDD-1 are considered separate disorders. But it doesn't have to be like that. Maybe in another universe, they would be the same disorder.

Or, maybe in one universe, DID wouldn't exist and OSDD-1a and 1b would be two separate disorders, with DID just being the comorbidity between these two things.

Maybe your ADHD would actually be branded as a type of autism, or autism could still be considered a classification of Schizophrenia. Many psychiatrists actually dislike the disorder model, and would prefer focusing on individual symptoms instead.

Also, some disorders can go away, and some disorders can change. Well, the diagnosis will still remain, but that's more another matter of the bureaucracy. If you're depressed for two weeks, you get a diagnosis. Then the symptoms can go away for 30 years, but you'll retain that diagnosis forever.

I Think You Can Experience Dysphoria For Anything

The reason I feel how I do on transX identities is because I've seen people in the plural community with memories of living completely different lives. People who feel uncomfortable with every aspect of the body they inhabit.

I've personally felt inadequate for lacking the intelligence and education of my source.

I know some who feel phantom limb-like experiences relating to parts they never had like wings and tails.

And psychologists have acknowledged and researched BIID, where people will feel like they should have a certain physical condition.

And so I totally believe it's possible to have dysphoria for anything, including mental conditions you don't have. It doesn't make rational sense why someone would want certain conditions, but the brain rarely makes rational sense and it would be a mistake to assume it needs to.

Endogenic Systems Are Different

I don't believe endogenic systems are a result of or related to dysphoria at all, outside of transplurals.

I believe endogenic plurality is a naturally occurring condition. We can see this in the ease of which people are able to divide themselves into parts in Internal Family Systems. The autonomy of imaginary friends as children. And the fact that many unrelated cultures around the world have reported nonpathological spiritual possession through history.

Most endogenic plurality isn't people who feel like they need to be plural or feel dysphoric for being a singlet. It's just a different experience that's been largely ignored by psychology until the past decade.

I've been collecting studies on these various phenomena here:

Personally, I find the imaginary friend studies most interesting. In the past, it was assumed that imaginary friends were purely controlled by the child hosts, but more evidence keeps stacking up showing that this isn't the case and that these are natural fully autonomous agents.

These experiences have been ignored by psychiatry for a long time because they just weren't pathological, and they were hidden enough that psychiatry could dismiss them as just pretend or fake.

#syscourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #transx #transid #transabled #sysblr #rad inclus #multiplicity

[avoidantrecovery]

AvPD & The Relational Self

There is one core aspect of AvPD that get's severely ignored imo, and which might be a key to actually solving it: The Relational Self. I'll be quoting from this article (Some people feel so utterly alone it’s as if they don’t exist by Kristine Dahl Sørensen) a lot, because I've been thinking about it a lot.

What is the Relational Self?

It's essentially the part of ourselves that forms in relation to others. We all grow up getting feedback from those around us, parents, friends, teachers, bosses etc... And this feedback reflects back on who we are, who we become and who we understand ourselves to be. It is vital for forming a fully-fledged "self" that is able to independently interact and go through life. We develop it through in person interaction with other humans, it completes us.

Most of all, we believe that our findings underline how the way we humans come to be ourselves is always relational, [...] We grow and develop our sense of self in interplay with others; through acting, reacting, talking, telling, and listening. Source

What does this have to do with AvPD?

My belief is that us with AvPD never actually managed to form this Relational Self properly. Something went wrong as we were growing up and derailed us from our path. And there are many reasons: overly critical parents, peer rejection and bullying, discrimination, any kind of abuse that is relational and focused on a person's self essentially. Our skills to interact healthily and properly either wither or don't have the chance to form in the first place.

I think that then also breaks with our ability to relate to our selves and others, we form anxieties, shame, avoid relational activities, mask and pretend, spiral into depression.

For those who struggle to participate in these exchanges, the self that doesn’t become shared can become unknown, unnamed and hidden, frightful and considered as something that can’t be accepted or trusted. Source

And then we are left as empty husks of ourselves, unable to relate and interact truthfully (without masking) with other people. It's not even that we are lying, it just feels empty without a mask. We as AvPD's lack(ed) something pretty crucial that Sørensen puts very well:

Aloneness was more than loneliness. They longed for something never experienced: the felt sense of being yourself through another person. Source

Conclusion

And I think I can truthfully say that this is true for me. I have had periods where I've had friends, but because I always mask (without knowing it) they don't know me. Hell, I don't know me, as dramatic as that sounds. And sooner or later I ghost, because pretending is exhausting.

I have come to close to experiencing myself through someone else, but I've always avoided (lol) it. Because the fear is that there is nothing here to see or experience. I remember when I had little crushes and they gave even a hint of reciprocating, aside from gently rejecting them or self-sabotaging, I always wondered: What do they see in me? This was not low self-esteem, because ironically enough I have quite high self-esteem (not sure how that works either tbh). I just genuinely did not know what it was they exactly wanted or saw in me. I was empty and they would find that out eventually and be disappointed. And I think that this feeling of emptiness, that drives all our other avoidant actions, is an atrophied Relational Self.

It also explains the infamous symptom list that I always found harsh and kind of not helpful. All those things on that list (whether it be the ICD or DSM-5 one) all lead to the Relational Self issue.

Now, the question is, how do I heal with Relational Self? Does this make sense to anyone else?

#avpd #avoidant personality disorder #avoidant #relational self #kristine dahl sorensen #trauma #cptsd #anxiety #depression #shame #self isolation #ok to reblog #lonliness

[ed-recoverry]

Glass Children Info & Masterpost

Only recently being recognized as a huge trauma itself, I’ve seen nothing on Tumblr being posted about glass children. And as a glass child myself, which is a part of the reason I’ve struggled severely with mental illness, especially in my early teen years, it can be very upsetting. However, it’s still incredibly popular to view what we experience as invalid and that we should “appreciate we aren’t like them” (which is incredibly insulting to both parties and I hate hearing it). Idk if this will get any notes, but I wish someone told me what I went through is valid and a real thing and I hope maybe this will show one person the same:

Glass Child: siblings of a person with a disability. The word glass means people tend to see right through them and focus only on the person with the disability. 'Glass' is also used because the children appear strong, but in reality are not. These children have needs that are not being met.

The term was popularized and recognized in Alicia Maples’s “Recognizing Glass Children” TedTalk posted in December, 2010 in which she talks about her experience growing up with a severely Autistic brother.

It is important to acknowledge that the disabled sibling plays no role in the conditions and problems a glass child endures as they did not choose to have a disability. The conditions and problems are a product of bad parental management and being a victim of circumstances. As a child, not understanding this bigger pictures may sometimes cause a glass child to see their sibling as the problem, but it is important to stress the sibling has no part in it.

Examples of challenges glass children experience during childhood:

Severe emotional and or physical neglect from guardians

Severe pressure to be the “perfect” kid

Feeling as if you must help others before yourself

Strong anger of not having a “normal” family, but feeling shame for feeling anger.

Putting in extra effort to appear okay even when they aren’t

Taking on the tasks (both physical and or mental) that are reserved for parents

Feelings of hopelessness

Hyper-vigilance and anxiety

Feeling of being taken for granted

These experiences during childhood follow you into teenage years and adulthood.

Symptoms a glass child can show later in life:

Trauma-related mental illnesses (ex: anxiety, depression, PTSD, personality disorders, eating disorders, etc.)

Self-sabotaging or self-injurious behavior(s)

Low self esteem

Putting other’s needs before one’s own, even at their own expense

Lack of self identity or never developing their own personality

Hyper-vigilance to an inappropriate degree

Extreme sensitivity

Struggles with trust and or vocalizing feelings and needs

Difficulty in adjusting to new, unexpected situations

Avoidance of any form of conflict to the point where it has negative impacts on day to day life

Learn More:

Glass Child Syndrome And Symptoms

Glass children: The overlooked siblings of the people we treat.

What is a glass child?

How We Can All Help Glass Children

Growing Up a Glass Child

Glass Child Syndrome And Symptoms

Glass children: The lived experiences of siblings of people with a disability or chronic illness

Glass Children

At least from my experience, one of the biggest problems that follows me till this day is being extremely sensitive as to when I feel my feelings or presence is being invalidated. This is not completely my imagination however as the term “glass child” as of now has no place in the DSM-5, any dictionaries, and not even a Wikipedia page despite the years and years of studies and proof showing that the existence and damage of being a glass child is very real and a problem. I myself didn’t know about this term until a few months ago. And that was from TikTok of all places. I hope this makes at least one more person aware that we exist, we are valid, and we are not “the lucky one.” Both the disabled sibling and the glass child(s) deserve the recognition for enduring the hardships life threw at them. We both deserve it.

#mental health #positivity #mental illness #self care #self help #info #mental health information #infographic #mental health infographic #mental illness infographic #glass child #glass children #mentally ill #trauma #childhood trauma #emotional neglect #neglect #actuallyneglected #cptsd #positive vibes #self esteem #love #signal boost #urgent #information #mental health reminders #awareness #mental heath awareness #therapy #vent

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

I have been diagnosed with borderline (I'm female) but I think I may be autistic. I did the raads-r teat and got 165, so I went to my therapist and told her and she said that autism and borderline can share some symptoms and that I can't be autistic because I make eye contact and I make/understand jokes. the thing is it's hard for me to look people I don't know in the eye for a long time, it becomes painful, and when someone is talking and looking at me I'm so concentrated on making eye contact that I don't even listen to what they're saying, and I've told her that. I also don't always get jokes, especially if they're a type of joke I'm not familiar with. I know these two alone don't mean anything, there are more stuff but I just wanted to ask you, what do you think about her answer?

Hi there,

I found an article talking about the differences and similarities:

Individuals diagnosed with BPD based on the DSM-5 (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) must exhibit at least 5 of the following 9 traits:

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

Unstable and intense interpersonal relationships

Identity disturbance, unstable self- image or sense of self

Chronically feeling “empty”

Impulsive behaviour across two areas in life (e.g. sex and substance use)

Difficulty regulating emotions (often due to heightened reactivity in situations)

Intense anger that is disproportionate to the situation

Recurrent suicidal/self-harm behaviour

Often feeling paranoid and dissociating in times of stress

In addition to the diagnostic traits, here are some common features of BPD:

Described as “manipulative”—using charm to influence the situation

Able to read social cues

Aware of the opinion of others

Able to ‘snap out’ of an outburst

Angry if their needs are not being met

Need for others to support their self-esteem

Switch from idealizing someone to despising them instantly and without provocation

Association with a childhood history of exposure to abuse, neglect, criticism and emotional invalidation

In contrast, here are some common features seen in autism:

Lack of social understanding from an early age

Greater difficulty reading social cues

Needing time away from others; solitude is enjoyable

Sensory sensitivity

History of special interests

Difficulty coping with change and transitions

Self-harm and suicide attempts are less likely to be related to trying to influence others behaviours or bring the focus of attention onto themselves

Why are women more commonly misdiagnosed with BPD?

Autistic women have higher rates of misdiagnosis in part due to our nonstereotypical presentations compared to men. The way we present to the world is often a product of our higher levels of masking and camouflaging. Women also have more social norms to adhere to in the neurotypical world, creating more opportunities for our social “missteps” to be attributed to BPD.

Generally, among women, there is a higher expectation to maintain interpersonal relationships. For example, in neurotypical social groups, women tend to have large superficial social networks. In contrast, autistics usually prefer having fewer closer relationships. Additionally, when we want to build a relationship, we often single out the person we are attracted to, engage in deep conversations on specialized topics, and invite the other person to adopt our routines and interests. Since this is against neurotypical social norms, this is often viewed as an “unhealthy attachment”—a BPD trait. Thus, an undiagnosed autistic woman who struggles to fit in with her peers can easily be “flagged” as having BPD if a clinician doesn’t look at the underlying cause. In comparison, men don’t have as many social expectations, so an autistic man’s non-neurotypical social patterns do not get “flagged” as readily.

Another common cause of misdiagnosis in women is based on our often high motivations to fit in with these social norms. When we work hard to camouflage by practicing social scripts, but inevitably still struggle in relationships with neurotypicals, clinicians may view this as the BPD trait of intensely fearing abandonment. This “fear of abandonment” can also be mischaracterized in instances where we experience distress if a friend cancels last-minute plans. For most autistics, our distress isn’t driven by a fear of abandonment but rather an executive functioning difference. We don’t cope well with sudden changes to our plans, irrespective of who they are with.

Moreover, our higher levels of camouflage often cause us to struggle with our sense of self because we are forced to act in inauthentic ways. However, our lack of self-identity is rooted in this forced inauthenticity, not based on an unstable identity personality trait which is often seen in BPD.

One important consideration in this discussion is that to date, research has done a poor job regarding autism and gender identity. Due to the lack of data collection on this topic, we still don’t know how BPD misdiagnosis affects gender-diverse individuals. This is particularly frustrating since we know that a large proportion of the autistic community is gender-diverse.[28] Since the diagnostic criteria for autism are biased towards a stereotypical presentation of autism—mainly seen in (white) cis-gendered boys—and gender-diverse individuals also mask and camouflage a lot, my assumption is that the rate of BPD misdiagnosis is likely also high in gender-diverse autistic populations.

I will leave the article below so you can read more:

Please keep in mind that you could possibly have both. Autism has a long list of co-occurring disorders.

I hope this helps answer your question. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

#inbox #inbox reply #inbox is open