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aspenforest732 · 4 months

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Mortem ad Wrens Chapter 14: To Break the Chains

Summary:

tw: calorie tracking, ed behaviors, food insecurity, intrusive thoughts, body flashback Internship starts

Notes:

DISCLAIMER: I’m not a nutritionist and am just trying to not throw complete nonsense in here. Please don’t take any of the nutrition plan stuff as advice, especially since I’m trying to adjust things to loosely make sense with Akira’s quirk. 'text' JSL text thoughts

“Amajiki!” Fat Gum called out, grinning widely as he made his way to the pair. “Good to see you again, and you must be Akira Mori. Let’s get you settled and then we can grab lunch!”

Akira grinned, bowing at the introduction. ‘I look forward to working with you, Fat Gum. Thank you for the opportunity.’

“No need to be so formal with us, Mori. You have quite the quirk, and I have some preliminary ideas to help with your drawback. Our patrol will start at six, so we’ll be showing you the ropes of paperwork.”

As Fat Gum talked about Esuha City and his community programs, Akira felt eyes on them. Without missing a beat, they started looking around more at the shops and sights Fat Gum described while flashing a quick ‘watching us’ to Amajiki. As the trio were stopped by a sweet bun shop owner for samples, Akira casually positioned themselves to look back on the street and spotted Mouse, one of Fat Gum’s sidekicks, in the crowd. They took an offered sweet bun, biting in before signing ‘clear.’

Fat Gum chuckled, “You’ve got good instincts, kid.” He signaled Mouse to move on, who to Akira’s pleasure looked surprised. “You want to be an underground hero, right?”

Akira nodded, ‘It’ll give the cover and flexibility I need to operate. I did briefly consider Twilight, but I need to avoid the media.’

“I’ll keep that in mind as we work on a nutrition plan for your quirk. We’ll be logging what you eat so we have a baseline to work with.”

‘I have been keeping track of that in a notebook since I started at UA,’ Akira signed and fished it out of their pack at Fat Gum’s excitement. ‘The first page has a breakdown of my current nutrition plan, and the rest is a daily log of calories, quirk use, and weight at the beginning and end of each day.’ Knowing how valuable his input could be, Akira had already adjusted the plan to what they actually ate for lunch and dinner instead of what the school knew.

Fat Gum spent the rest of their walk flipping through the notebook, grin falling slightly over some of the pages. “This is great, kid, but I take it you like jelly pouches?” he asked, grin a little more forced.

Akira ducked their head, ears flushing. ‘Eraser insisted on keeping my backup stash stocked with them. I was using pocky sticks before.’

Amajiki peeked up in surprise before tucking back into himself. Fat Gum laughed, “I’ve heard stories about that man and his jelly pouches. I’m glad you caught his eye; I see he also let you put him down as an emergency contact. Any relation?”

Akira shook their head as they slipped into the agency with the pair, ‘I didn’t make a good first impression, and by the end of the first day, Eraser just started helping me outside schoolwork for some reason. He offered to be my second contact since it was required for the internship.’

Akira’s head was on a swivel as Fat Gum gave them a tour of the agency. They met a few of his sidekicks, confirming their observations of brutes and changers comprising most of the hero’s agency. Akira also recognized a few former vigilantes who now lived at the agency full-time while working towards their license. Some were kids but others were in their late teens or early twenties.

After setting their duffle in their room, Akira sat on the bed, letting themself soak in the comforts while they could. I could get used to this, Akira thought bittersweetly. Come on, just let yourself enjoy while you can. You can have three years of this if you don’t ruin it.

Akira pulled their hair into a messy bun and made a couple adjustments to their braces, testing the give since the support company’s execution of Hatsume’s designs had only arrived the previous day. Akira put on their hero costume and restocked their snack pouches, including a protein drink in case patrol was particularly busy. Finally, they clipped their retractable forearm crutches into their utility belt. The aids would put less stress on their shoulders and enable them to lessen the pressure on both legs instead of just their worse one.

Before heading out, Akira texted the Mad Banquet chat that they made it to the agency. Other than Tokoyami, the others had long since arrived, train rides much shorter than their own. Tucking their phone away, Akira made their way to the cafeteria, drawing a few odd looks from the brightly colored heroes at their monochrome palette, yellow contacts providing the only splash of color.

They started heading to the self-serve feast laid out over a few counters and dispensers when Fat Gum waved them over to a table. “Based on your notes, we need to double your current base intake.” Akira startled, eyebrows shooting up. “Your quirk’s drawback isn’t as separate as your paperwork implied. My quirk has the physical limit of the fat stored in my body; my muscles alone won’t absorb hits. Your quirk doesn’t recognize the difference between fat and muscle, which is what causes the atrophy. Your idea of having a buffer is more accurate than you think. Your quirk should never have the choice between muscle and fat because which it chooses is variable.”

‘I can’t develop muscle? I need the strength and flexibility,’ Akira signed desperately.

“You can still work on muscle development,” Fat Gum clarified gently. “But we’re not talking about being a couple kilos over the average. To reliably use your quirk without the risk of starvation, you should be 45-50% body fat. It’ll take time, but your current eating structure of two main meals with snacks throughout the day is a good framework to start with.”

Fat Gum ran through the changes they’d be making and pushed over a written-out plan. Akira tried to focus, but they were reeling with how they’d maintain the plan once they were paying for it. The recipes Fat Gum gave them all required a kitchen to varying degrees, but their security deposit fund would be gone in the first week of this plan. Akira followed the hero to the feast, nodding as he pointed out everything he put on the nutrition plan and encouraged them to try what they could while here so they knew the options. Before starting to eat, Akira quickly jot down their meal and the sweet bun they had earlier, trying to ignore the twist in their gut at the amount of food.

“Are you alright?” Akira turned at Amajiki’s soft, concerned voice. Their eyes flitted to Fat Gum, who was talking with one of his ex-vigilantes off to the side.

‘Just trying to figure out how to make this work,’ Akira distractedly signed. They offered a small smile to the introverted teen, ‘I was hoping he’d be able to take a look at the plan, just wasn’t expecting… this.’

Nodding after a moment, Amajiki looked back to his own plate with a more normal amount of food but far more variety. After a few minutes of trying to do the math in their head, Akira flipped to the back of their nutrition notebook and started running numbers on their new budget range for each week while eating with their off hand. With the internship’s stipend, they would still be a few thousand yen short of a low-income security deposit by the end of next week even if they didn’t implement Fat Gum’s changes that week and ran deliveries for an extra two hours each night. Besides, with finals rapidly approaching, only getting two hours of sleep would spell disaster for their grades.

As Fat Gum walked back over, Akira closed and secured the notebook in its holster. The hero tried to start up conversation with Amajiki, but he seemed as anxious as Akira, mumbling and stuttering as the man energetically guided the conversation.

U̸̳̥͇̺̙͒͋͌͗̎͐͌n̴̩̯̜͔̮͍̗̲̤͓̏̃̇͜͝ͅw̷̢̭͎̦͎̼̤̯̫͍̘̔̽͊́̌̇̊͜ơ̸̢̛̲̞̯̰̭̻͚̮͈̾͋͗̏́̽͘͝r̴̢̡̘̱̙̼̗̮͙͓̬̫̀́t̶̛̛͈͕͕͇̝̫́̐̿̏̊͂̑̔̒͘̚͝͝h̵̢̧̜̠̟͕̼̣̀͐̿̅̊̅̾̀̇́̋ỹ̶͕̥̙̇̎͐̉̊̍͂̍ (Unworthy)

Damnit, not here. Akira subtly dropped their left hand into their lap to focus on the texture of their tassels and on eating as Fat Gum and Amajiki’s conversation faded into the background.

Y̶̛͉͑͊͋͐̒̿͝͝o̶̢̧͕͕̖̟̲̣̭͕̙̠͕̗͛u̶̼̱̙̣̗̜̙̅͛͌͒ ̸̢͍̰͉̖͔̤̤̣͚̾͑̔̈̆͑̀́̇͝͠͠r̵̨̧̡̟̹͙̙͔͓͉͉̬͕̋͠u̷͔̜͖̗̇͌͂͑̄̂i̸͇̮̯͙̞̣̇̍̋̐̐̇͐͆͂̎̓̚n̷̯̱̪̫̬̼̳̪̜͕̯̳̱̖̑ ̴̧̠̩̬̲̙̭̗̤̭̟̻̉̅̆͆͒̍̉̈́̊̓̓̎̕e̵̛̤͉̳̯̘̮͎̲͚̮̓̓̈́̂̌͐́͆̃̅̕͘͜v̵̯̱͉̱̩̻̤̟̰̈́̉̓͊̑̾͒̿̊͛͋̉͜͝ḛ̴̛̖͉̮̘̠͉̣̈̄̓̃̽͒r̴̙̱̥̙̗̈́͗́̽̋̓̋̿͐̄̒͝ÿ̷͇͈͍̥̟̥́̅͘t̷̡̢̗̣͕͖̲̖̙͕͉́̉͆̅͂̎̌̽̋͒̆̒ͅh̴̢̧͎̻͓͈̬̜̩̼͋͘͜į̷͓̻̩̖̺͙̯͙̍͝n̵̨̻̫̺͎̥͎̭̥͔̗̰̓͛́̈͂̇͠g̸̝̩̰͎̣͛̎͋̀̅ͅ ̵̡̖̟̤͖͇̝͕̯͇̭̈́͐̒̇y̷͈̲͙̣̭̺͐͒́ō̷̬̈̈͒̓̊̂͑̄̓̈̄ư̴̧̛̦͉͍͎̬̖̯̰͇̗̰͎̦̓̈̿͐͋̓̂̈́̈́̔͠͝ ̴̼̝̩̦͉̱̹̝̯̘͔̌̐̒̚͝͠t̸̡̧͕̳̺͎̑͊͌̄̔̎͗̆ǫ̵̡̝̰̙̙͕̘̦͂͋u̷̲̲̙̲̽c̷̙̙̞͎͕̖̽͌͒̀̿́̇͛̕͜h̸̼̞͕͇̱̦̅͗͐ (You ruin everything you touch)

Akira shivered, remembering the burns that often accompanied those words.

Y̴̤̎̃̿̇̋́̈́̂̑̎̿͘̕͝o̶̢͖̿̄͌̅̈͌̾̐͌̓̐̃̃͝͝ṵ̴̫̝̞̥̥͇͝’̴̡̧̙̰̲͈̘̙͈̳̳̬̮͈͇̒̐͌͋̑͝͠l̵̡̰̩̞͓̩̝͎͎̜͈̟̝̜̝͂̂͒̅͗̔͝l̴͈̬̃͌͊̄̊́̎͘̕̕ ̴͈̙̣̬͔̭̜̥͙̇̋̉̚͜͜͜ŗ̷̘͔̝̩͙̬̥̳̈́̑̄̓̅́̂̒̒̒͝ͅù̸̡̡̧̧̺̝̼͈̣̩̩̰̟̯́͒̄̕͜i̴̢̡̢̬͓͉̱͚̫̮̝̖̗͉͛̈̿̚ń̸̖̭̝̳͔̗̺̹̼̭̳̐̀͒̃̍̈́̈́̚͠ ̶̭̺̎̐͌̌͛̀̚͠t̸̡̧̘̜̝̬͚̘̻͚̬͉̻̂̾͆͝h̵̗̍̈́î̶̹͗̇̈́̏͋̏̚͘ṣ̷̰͉̖̥̲̻́̂̑̾́̎̈͜͝,̸̛̦͖͎̫̯͎͓͇̝̫̜̹͛͑͒̈̀́͗͌̚̕ ̴̢̤͍͉͇͎̮̥̝͇̠̘̇̇̈̈́͋͗̀͒̀̅̔͘t̶̘͙͚̪̭̮̑̅̔̈̉́͊̚̚͠ǫ̵͚̹͌͋̀o̷̧̹̜͕͙͎̮̮̤̘̦̾̀͜ͅ (You’ll ruin this, too)

“…quirk analysis and encoded it.” Akira looked up as they forced themself to swallow the last of their heaping plate.

“We’ll have time before patrol to start going over it and look at improving the encryption since you already have a good system for food tracking and the initial nutrition plan adjustments are done.”

Akira nodded, ‘I use the same system for practicing analysis of others, so improving it is a good idea. It only took Sun Eater fifteen minutes to decode it on the train.’

Fat Gum grinned and ruffled Amajiki’s hair despite the boy’s disgruntled look. Akira smiled as they noticed him slightly lean into the touch despite himself. “I knew you’d get it once you got out of your head!” Fat Gum praised and asked more about the process as Amajiki shrunk into his seat.

‘I think that was a compliment,’ Akira signed, briefly catching Amajiki’s downturned gaze before continuing, ‘I start with a Caesar cipher then use a Polybius square.’

“Wonderful! A two-part cipher like that would slow down would-be readers. Are you using a static or variable key? Well, the easiest way to add another layer of difficulty would be to make the Polybius key variable. It could be based on a book you like, a website or newspaper, or even a radio show. If you haven’t done so already, you’d need to start dating the pages. I’d recommend using a written material to save time looking for your daily key.”

The trio made their way to Fat Gum’s office, and Akira felt themself relax marginally at the massive window opposite the door. “When it’s just me, I do paperwork in the main area, but I thought you might enjoy the quiet more, like Tamaki.” Akira startled at the use of his first name. “While we’re patrolling, call me Fat Gum and Tamaki Suneater. When we’re off duty, I ask everyone to call me Toyomitsu or Taishiro if they’re comfortable, and my call sign is Sunny D.”

Akira nodded, ‘My call sign is Reaper if we need to communicate nonverbally off duty.’

Fat Gum pulled out a stack of forms, a few liability wavers at the top of empty reports. “Once you sign these, we can start going over what reports will look like. Tamaki and I usually don’t have to worry about property damage, but it’s good to know what that looks like in case it does occur. Even if the villain was the one causing damage, it’s important to file the report so there’s a record of what happened.”

Akira paid rapt attention as Fat Gum went over the various types of reports they might need, appreciating the extra time he took explaining ones that applied more to underground work. They were left with two hours before patrol, which they took to decide on a forum that followed Wren fights with the day of the month determining which post – sorted by recent – to pull the first five letters from. They also changed the plain text to classical Latin to add a layer of not quite encryption but difficulty… and maybe a clue for Asami to realize they were alive.

As they wrote the plain text to the side to restart encryption, Fat Gum – right, Taishiro and Amajiki read through the notes. Once Akira was primed with their keywords and square – a temporary aid to get used to the new method – Taishiro asked, “From what we’ve read so far and your talk on the train, you recently had an awakening or mutation, right?”

Akira hesitated, ‘Maybe? As you can tell from the beginning, I didn’t have enough buffer to experiment much when my quirk first manifested, so it’s possible the movement aspect of my clones didn’t have enough energy available to be noticeable.’

“The journal only dates back two years. Did you not keep track when it first manifested?” Fat Gum asked gently, curiosity shining in his eyes.

‘My quirk forcibly manifested when I was 13. With Stranger such an unknown variable in quirks, it’s possible that component was my biological quirk with an activation that would be difficult for me to encounter. The trigger fit secondary Master just as well and I have family history of it, so I originally used that classification.’

As they started re-encrypting their notebook, Akira noticed the room was completely silent and, out of the corner of their eye, they saw a paper drift back to the desk. Akira glanced up in confusion and flinched into themself at the rage in Taishiro’s eyes and horror in Amajiki’s.

“Who?” Taishiro ground out. Akira briefly glanced up, confused. “Who tortured you?”

‘Oh,’ Akira signed. ‘My family. Abuse seems to be 2 for 5 with the other kids of heroes I’ve met. Although, I don’t know if Blank counts since he was abused up until he got placed with heroes. 50/50 if he doesn’t.’

Amajiki looked sick and Taishiro’s expression softened, although his voice remained hard. “I’m going to need the name of your family and the other kid’s family, then. Preventing abuse, especially Forced Quirk Manifestation, is one of the main reasons I foster a sense of community. The kids feel safe enough to expose the underbelly groups that do it.”

Still confused, Akira flinched at the quiet fury in his voice. ‘That’s just more proof that it’s common. The other kid is Shoto Todoroki; I can guarantee his father is abusive, but I lack proof without the children’s testimonies, and their quirks point to the only potential forced manifestation being Natsuo given his weak Brute quirk. With time, Shoto could be given justice or break free, but the Commission is involved in the cover-up as usual. My family is too large and connected to reach.’

“That’s why you need to avoid the media… Just because it’s common doesn’t make it right,” Amajiki murmured.

‘I know, it’s just confusing when people are surprised by it.’

“Since they haven’t found you yet, I take it your last name isn’t Mori. So what is their name?” Taishiro pressed.

‘Like I said, it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing you can do to them, and if you refuse to work with them, that will just put more potential focus on me. I have a plan, but it’s going to take years.’ Akira huffed as they thought if I even survive that long.

“Will you at least tell me if any members of my agency are part of your family?”

Akira chuckled humorlessly, ‘Being a limelight is a requirement in the family, so none of them would dream of working under a Twilight hero.’

Something clicked in Taishiro’s eyes, and Akira straightened warily from their writing position. ‘Don’t-’

“The Wrens.”

Shit.

Notes:

Akira’s notes are in English so I could use ciphers I’m familiar with (cryptography was one of my hyperfixations) I was trying to find a call sign for Fat Gum that wouldn’t be weird when I got to Sunshine Dad, which turned into Sunny D. The D does still stand for Dad, but people are usually more comfortable shortening it to the brand name at least when they’re first taken in. Also sorry I didn't upload this yesterday; wasn't feeling well and didn't write anything for Libertias aut Mortis either 😅

Akira: panicking Amajiki: what is wrong with this child Fat Gum: I’ve got another kid! Akira: casually mentions trauma Amajiki.exe has stopped working Fat Gum: who do I need to kill

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bigheckinbraindrain · 6 months

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Food logging apps

As of yesterday, I have been using all 3 food logging apps for 2 full weeks. I have logged each thing I ate as best I can (all food has been logged, but sometimes the app doesn't have exactly what I ate so I do as best I can; like one didn't have Little Greek Fries, so I found other fries that were similar in calorie count).

The overall, I think Lose It is my favorite. I have a lot of 🚫items on it, but the pros outweigh the cons (haha, outweigh). I don't want to have to keep up with each of them daily, but each one has something much better than the others do. With Lose It, it feels like the most complete and useful. With CarbManager, it's food logging is the most user-friendly and the daily page is just more robust and useful. With Chronometer, the breakdowns of macros is way better.

Here's where I am with each of them:

Lose It - Overall there are a lot of 🚫 on this list, but it's not my least favorite.

Food Logging

🚫Visually, it's not appealing. At least on the computer. I actually like it's phone app but the computer app just isn't very nice.

🚫It ingests from Apple Health which is ok, except that because I enter stuff on LI, and then the same stuff on the other apps, I have to go back and find duplicates all the time. This is, I'm sure, an easy setting to fix and it won't matter when I've dropped to just using one app.

✅It seems to have most of my food

🚫While it has most of the food, it doesn't show the brand on the diary page, which I weirdly hate

🚫Zero hotkeys or shortcut buttons/clicks. I also hate that

🚫In the meal search box, if you start typing, it can auto-hover on something and stops letting you type. It's a pain

Reporting and Insights

I really like the Patterns insight. It shows me "On days you eat (...) you tend to keep you (...) lower/higher" which is super helpful already, but I'm sure it will be much more so after I've used the app for a long time

The Food Insights (where it shows what items contributed to the highest calories/sodium/fat/etc) is pretty cool, but it doesn't let you pick the date range so ... meh

Budget shows the days you were over/under on your calories. That's kinda nice but I almost never look at it. It doesn't really lend to any changes in behavior so far

Nutrition insight is useless, because there is an "Unknown" slice in the pie. And it doesn't tell you what contributed to it. How can I take stock in anything it's showing on that chart when there is such a large portion that is unknown?

The weekly summary is kinda nice, I do like this one

The weight chart is pretty clear and easy to see my trends.

CarbManager - Overall, this has the most ✅ marks, but I just don't know that it's my favorite. I think this is 100% because it's focused on carbs and that's not my goal. I feel if they were to let you choose which macro is your focus and display accordingly, this would be my favorite by a lot.

Food Logging

✅Visually, this is my favorite. It's clean and crisp, both on the computer as well as on my phone

🚫It's focus is on Carbs (I mean, it IS called CarbManager) and I don't focus on Carbs. I really really wish it would let you decide to do Carbs OR Calories as your focus.

✅It has most of the foods I'm looking for

✅It tells you the name of the brand/restaurant and even shows pictures

✅It's super easy to copy from one day or meal to another, which is awesome

✅I actually just did a recent call with them for market research. I love knowing that they're that interested in their user base and take time (and spend money) to find out user's preferences and ease of use. They did a portion that was touch-point/pain-point and I LOVE that!

🤔There are a ton of recipes on the site (which is awesome) but they are all carb-focused (again, it's right there in the name) which is not my goal. So yay recipes, boo they are carb-focused. HOWEVER, because I'm not supposed to be eating wheat and select other grains, this is actually pretty good. I'm not Keto, but I share a lot of the same needs.

🚫Your weight isn't listed on your diary page. I want to see all the info I care about in one place

Reporting and Insights

If we're being honest, the reports section is shit. I get way more useful information looking at the day-to-day charts, because the reporting section is 100% lacking

Chronometer - I really like this one, except the lack of items in the database. I think if I had no issue looking stuff up, I'd absolutely love this app. I know that if I used this long enough, and I entered in everything that it didn't have in the db whenever I found something missing, eventually it would even out and I could find everything even if it was because I entered it. But I just don't have that kind of patience or desire to put in the extra work for an app I'm paying for.

Food Logging

✅Visually, this is almost an exact mix between the other two.

🚫🚫I find a lot of the food I'm looking for just isn't here. I have to frequently find "close enough" type foods, which means that the macro summaries that I like so much aren't really accurate.

✅It's very easy to drag and drop, rearrange stuff, etc. That's really nice

🤔I always talk about how much I love the nutrient targets, but if we're being honest, I rarely look at them. It seems the only time I care about this level of depth is when I get bloodwork done and I want to see what contributed to a specific thing (like sodium).

Reporting and Insights

The nutrition report for daily averages is pretty dope. I really like this one for retrospective

#food tracking #calorie tracking #health #Lose It #CarbManager #Chronometer

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