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typewritingyip · 4 years

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Returning to the Right Life

Narnian Preference

A/N: This is a continuation for “A Life Worth Waiting For” with my named reader Maude! Once again thank you to the CairParavelNetwork for having these fun challenges every month!

Warnings: Minor Angst, Fluff, and possible character death? mentions of gore?

Word Count: 4,171

Cair Paravel had not been this quiet in nearly fifteen years, since before the five thrones had the children of Adam and Eve sat upon them. Sliding along the polished floors I go up to General Otmin, trying not to panic.

“General-”

He smiles kindly, fixing the crown on my head since it had fallen askew.

“My queen, you looked panicked, are you alright?”

I take a deep breath, trying to maintain my composure, be like Peter in the situations of worry.

“May we talk a moment in private General?”

Now he frowned, like I already had been, I wasn’t the one that would usually go to the general when something had gone wrong. Only if something horrific had happened.

“Yes, my queen. This way, please.”

We had down a hall together where we talk in hushed tones, my own worry breaking through my usual composure to the point where I was on the verge of tears. As much as I liked to seem strong in front of the crowd or even in front of the General, just to seem like the others, I was always the odd one out. No matter what we all made it seem like, they all were the crowns of the four directions and I got what was left. The General set up the search party of over a hundred Narnian soldiers, at which I promptly joined to give them the exact locations of where the other four disappeared. Leaving my crown on my throne, feeling unworthy of it.

For the next week we scoured through those woods, being gentle and asking the trees to part during the search. Though I was kept away, everyone unsure whether it was the four royals on a new journey or some danger that would take away the children of Adam and Eve. I stayed under the stars every night, too scared to enter the woods or return to Cair Paravel. Yet when the crowns were found, I stood there and stared at the forests as the trees moved back to their places. As their crowns weighed heavily in my arms. Wherever they were, I knew we wouldn’t be able to get to them. My heart sank in my chest, aching as the last trees settled again and the wastes looked the same as it had when they all ran into those trees just days before.

Later that night, when I finally returned to Cair Paravel after several long hours of walking. Still holding the crowns as if they were life lines to the people I cared about so much. It was dark and quiet in the castle; the other residents having retired to their beds for the night. I slowly made my way into the royal treasure room and put each crown in the corresponding chest that belonged to them. I broke down in sobs on the floor, wanting nothing more for them to return home or for me to be with them on this next great adventure they thought was so important.

The castle was quiet, no one spoke that next morning as preparations for that afternoon were made. I remained in my bedchamber for most of the morning, not touching any of the food brought to me and soaking in a hot bath full of soft flowers, trying to wish away my new found problems. Even after getting decorated in ornate clothes everyone remained silent.

There wasn’t even the sound of a drawn breath as I walked toward the thrones that afternoon. The sun shining and reflecting through the glass roof, making Cair Paravel sparkle in its beauty. My hands shook while holding several symbols of royalty for Narnia, my own sword resting around my hips as I walked. The ruffle of the skirts and shuffle of shoes were the only noise around the hall other than the occasional sniffle. Slowing to a stop at foot of Peter’s throne, the one in the middle for the High King of Narnia. From behind me someone nudges me forward gently, stepping forward again I stand at the pedestal of that throne, it always seemed bigger from a distance. Turning slowly to face the crowd, straightening my back to look stronger than I felt.

“My fellow Narnian’s, big and small, I stand before you today not as one of your queens but as your friend. Your friend feeling this intense pain and sorrow that you all do, that we all feel, not only did we lose four of our leaders, our closest friends, but people we all called family.”

My voice breaks slightly on the word family, I had spent the last week searching in the rain, through the trees and mud. Turning over every stone to find them even it didn’t seem to make sense.

“Whatever they are doing, wherever they went, what may have happened to them, know they are just on their next royal adventure, likely like the one that brought the five of us to all of you those many years ago. In time, they will return for this is their home. Narnia is their land and home as much as it is any of ours. I will stand with you all as I stood with them as an equal, as a member of this family, as a Narnian.”

We had known we were not like them, being the children of Adam and Eve, but that made us no more important or powerful than the people that filled the hall of Cair Paravel. My mouth was very dry, slowly I kneel down for Mr. Tumnus. I knew he was heartbroken but was so thankful he was doing this for not only me but for Narnia. The crown I had worn for the past fifteen years was gently removed from my head. The silver filigree I had grown into was exchanged for a regal gold, engraved with flowers and a lion's head. Mr. Tumnus offers a hand and I take it gently, letting him help me up. Slowly rising, I look out at them all, the Narnian’s I swore to protect and be one of the queens for.

My new title fell onto my deaf ears, trapped in my own mind as the reality of this whole day began to settle in. In an instant, when everyone began to make noise, I lowered myself to Peter’s throne for the first time ever. The Narnian’s went quiet as for the first time in weeks one of their kings or queens sat on the thrones of Cair Paravel. For a moment ever person in that hall fell silent, the pain and loss washed over us all. Sitting up straight unlike how I would have sat upon my own throne, I clear my throat and gesture in front of me as the High King would, as Peter always had. Slowly groups of them began to get in a line with their questions.

Sighing slowly, I put on a smile, glancing toward the Beavers as my nerves began to rise. Both of them nodded reassuringly, calming my nerves a faction as I look back to the Narnian’s that stood before me. In that moment, I finally understood how all the others had felt or at least knew I would come to. The stress Peter felt every day, he was the High King and was the one everyone expects to know all. The way Susan would worry of the questions that would be asked and the notes she would take when something she wouldn’t have thought of was brought up by a Narnian. Even Edmund’s cool composure of how he’d speak up when there wouldn’t be a good answer, even if it was the right one. How Lucy would keep all of us collected and working together, to know and understand we served the people along with ourselves as a family.

Then there was myself, how I had thought I knew the whole picture from top to bottom, studied every aspect of what it meant to be a royal, till now I wasn’t even close and didn’t know if I ever would be. All of those responsibilities now fell upon my shoulders. Bowing my head gently, reaching up to prevent the new crown from tumbling off the first question rang through the hall,

“Your highness, what are your plans for Narnia now that the others are gone?”

It was the question I knew would come but was petrified to face, gulping slightly, steepling my hands,

“I will do what the people need of me, like the five of us always have. Like I will continue to do.”

The crowd seemed to collectively sigh of relief, smiling a bit I gain confidence as the questions flow, answering what I could, giving supplies to people needed them, and sending guards for patrols in areas that the Telmarines seemed to be poking at. Their so-called King seemed to think it was all his land and would often cause trouble in Narnia.

It wasn’t long after that the Telmarines declared war, not only against the royals of Cair Paravel but Narnia as whole. Changing from the long regal gowns that would be worn in the throne room to the more battle secure dresses that would be worn under armor.

Too many battles were waged, to many lives lost in the name of Narnia. I felt like a terrible leader, leading my people into slaughter but the Telmarines were horrific when it came to battle. They wanted the Narnian’s extinct because they were unable to understand who and what we are. For years we fought before attempting to come to a peace, signing a treaty upon the battle field for the holiday, all our troops were tired and wanted to be home with their families and out of the cold. They didn’t even wait the day before they attacked. Burning down Cair Paravel as I fled into the night.

That was the day everything changed, both in my own life and for the entirely of Narnia.

The return to living life in England was difficult, my mother insisting I stay in the country side, sending money when she could. The war in England was bad but she’d never understand the way one fights in a war, how they watch their friends die on the blades of the enemy. In my short life, which in her eyes had only been eight years, but for me it was twenty-eight years. Even as time went on and the memories I had of Narnia began to fade, some things would always plague my nightmares.

Being a child with the memories of three wars, things always kept you up at night.

I studied with the professor after the Pevensies’ left, even when we had to move into a much smaller place, to the cottage in Cottage Grove; the two of us found that entirely to funny. After all I had no other place to go, the past year had been hard on the five of us. My mind was always on Narnia, everything from the first days that which seemed so clear now to my last hours which seemed to fade when I didn’t think about them for more than a few hours.

No longer feeling like the strong adult Queen of Narnia that fought in the war for the Narnian’s. Not the battle-ready warrior but the mildly out of practice one. It all felt off, wrong in some ways but there would be days that it didn’t feel so strange to be myself.

When I woke up that morning, it felt like any other day in the country side. The sun poked through the clouds for a moment before it started to drizzle. Starting out in the garden to weed the veggies and water the plants, we might get quite a bit of rain but it never soaked into the garden, the water always running down the hillside off the edge of the property.

After that I went into the cottage for lessons, being in the sun room while the rain starts to pour down. Practicing maths first since it was what I struggled with the most. Tapping the eraser of my pencil against the table to a rhythm, music playing from the radio in the kitchen mixed with the rain, bringing me to be extreamly distracted. Remembering days upon thrones where the rain would patter against the glass ceiling.

“Have I lost you Maude?”

I jump slightly and look up, breaking the end of my pencil as I turn it to the paper again.

“Sorry sir, the rain...”

He smiles a bit and ruffles my hair gently, already a mess from the wet. He gently closed the textbook that rested upon the table I worked at.

“Let’s take a break, have a snack and get our brains back in order, yes?”

Nodding, I quickly get up and grab hold of my notebook, rushing out of the sun room. Returning to my bedroom, closing the door firmly and falling to the floor. Opening to a bare page and starting to draw the image stuck within my head, the thing distracting me. Cair Paravel in all its shining glory, the rain falling on the glass ceiling and reflecting upon the marble flooring.

Something felt off, nothing felt right. My thoughts of Narnia would fill my mind often but never like this, never to the point of distracting me. Pushing myself up, going to my window I push it open and stare out, the leaves from the nearby willow tree blowing in the storm. Flying everywhere I felt a tug of something, pushing myself up onto the seat, all I could do was stare as the rain and leaves flew past my face.

It felt like magic, feeling this painful tug and quickly hopping out the window, thinking I’d land in mud, not sand.

Falling onto all fours, I got a very unpleasant mouth full of sand. Spluttering and sitting up, it takes my eyes a second to adjust to the sunny coastal area I now found myself in. Looking around, my heart feeling lighter than it had in a year. Smiling brightly, pushing myself to my feet I take off towards the water. Stumbling as I attempt to remove my socks, having not been wearing shoes in the cottage. Pulling off the sweater wrapped around me, dropping it right before hitting the waves. Kicking up the water, spinning in several circles before falling back into the waves to let them sweep over me.

Happily getting soaked from head to toe, but in that moment, I truly didn’t care. After the longest year of my life, I was finally home. Sitting up and brushing the hair out of my face, looking around in mild confusion. I wasn’t quite sure what part of Narnia I was in, it didn’t look entirely familiar but the oceans were never my favorite place to spend a warm summer day.

Then in an instant, none of that mattered as four people came running my way, in English school uniforms. Screaming with laughter I start kicking water at them, shoving Edmund into the waves and hugging Lucy tightly. It had been far too long since I’d seen my family, we’d written when we all could but this was different. We were all in Narnia, for the first time in a year and for the first time in six that I’d gotten to see them there.

Standing in the waves, hugging the others it was such a relief to be here together. Finally, back home together for the first time in such a long time. We continued to splash around in the waves for a while longer, enjoying the warm sun England hadn’t seen in months and the land we hadn’t seen in a year.

Slowly we all make our way out of the waves and gather our stuff, picking up my socks and slightly damp sweater, laughing happily as Edmund shoves me a bit.

“Hello.”

I look at him then smile a little shyly, sitting down and pulling on my socks.

“Hello Maude... it’s been a while.”

Laughing a bit, I take his hand when he offers it pulling myself back up from the sand. Looking around, finally speaking my mind.

“Where do you think we are?”

Peter laughs and gestures around,

“Well, where do you think?”

Rolling my eyes, pulling on my sweater,

“I meant where in Narnia, my High King.”

I bow and Lucy quickly follows my lead, both of us bursting into laughter. Edmund looked around, then up the cliff side, frowning.

“She’s right, I don’t remember their being any ruins in Narnia.”

We all look the same general direction as him and stare in shock, what seemed to be large ruins of some cliff side thing were crumbling above us. There was no wait it could be Cair Pravel, this looked like ages of over growth. My mouth felt dry, knowing what I knew it was and knowing there couldn’t be any actual way that was it were very different things.

Slowly heading down the beach together, I slip my hand into Edmunds. Each in turn adjusting their clothes and pulling on bags, tying sweaters around waists and leaving jackets hanging off branches.

Heading up an old worn footpath, it felt warm, good to be back in Narnia but bad because the feeling was off now that we were heading up to these ruins. Something just didn’t feel right. Pulling Ed to a stop, I wait for the others to get a little ahead before speaking.

“Edmund, I need to tell you something.”

He frowns a bit and keeps the walking pace slow,

“What’s the matter?”

Sighing, I look at my feet, kicking at a rock,

“There’s so much I have to tell you about our last time in Narnia, after the four of you left through Spare ‘Oom.”

“You’ve been back?”

Shaking my head quickly I sigh and stare at the sky,

“No, of course not. But I haven’t been truthful, I didn’t follow you four back through the wardrobe. I stayed in Narnia for another five years after we all thought you disappeared.”

He quickly pulls his hand away, looking around.

“Do the others know?”

I shake my head again,

“Of course not. You and Lucy would be the first people I tell... and I’ve now told you first.”

He continues to stare, still walking up the hill towards the ruins.

“What happened after we all left?”

He sounded concerned and slightly afraid,

“Another war... for Narnia and I don’t know how it ended. The night I went through the wardrobe-”

I go to speak but find the memories just after there anymore and shake my head,

“I’m not sure what happened... But whatever it was, I doubt it was good.”

He sighs slowly, brushing his hands through his hair, biting the corner of his lip.

“The others can’t know about this. It would destroy them, for now, we keep this between ourselves till we find the Narnian’s”

He sounded so much like his old self, his older self, being the level headed one what knew doing the right thing wasn’t always the best thing. Nodding slowly, I put my hands into the pockets of my sweater.

Getting to a steeper part of the hill, struggling over the roots and tall grass, apple trees surround us. I quickly use Edmund as a step stool to grab one before continuing up.

“Does anyone still have their sandwiches?”

“Well, I left mine in my bag and I left my bag, in the train station, and then I left the train station in England.”

We all laugh a bit at that, brushing out hands through the grass and leaves around us, just all happy to be back in Narnia.

Then we came up to the ruins, rather vast, at which we all promptly began to explore.

Walking around and munching on the crisp red apple, I brush my hand over the ancient stone, frowning and feeling sad. Whatever this place had been, it must have been beautiful. Still unable to truly think this could be Cair Paravel. We all spread out to look around, admiring the ruins and the trees among the walls, although it was sad it had become very beautiful in a way. I start up a set of broken stone stairs to get a better view of it all.

“Wonder who lived here.”

From all our vantage points we glanced towards Lucy, having feelings at the same time. Susan picking up something shiny from the ground, frowning at it before looking around.

“I think we did.”

I glance towards Edmund and head over towards Susan,

“Hey, that’s mine. From my chess set.”

“Which chess set?”

“I didn’t exactly have a solid gold chess set in Finchley, did I?”

Lucy looks around before running off, muttering to herself and I quickly follow. My heart pounding in my chest as we all follow. Coming up to a large stone slab we slow, seeing pedestals on top of it and parts of what had been beautiful stone thrones. Lucy starts to position us in front of the very thrones we had sat in, pointing at broken pieces of architecture.

“Imagine walls. And columns, there. And a glass roof.”

We all stood there, looking at the remains of-

“Cair Paravel...”

My throat felt tight, like this was somehow my fault. Though, in a way it was. Not following my own heart when it came to the war, when it came to the Narnian’s, whatever made me leave, should have made me stay. We all walked away from the thrones and went towards where the old treasury was, if it was still there that’s where all our weapons would be.

Continuing to examine the damage only further broke our hearts, knowing our home had been taken from us in some way, and it had been a very long time since we had last been in Narnia, even if it had only really been a year.

“Catapults.”

I glance over, my heart beginning to race again as images flash through my head.

“What?”

“This didn’t just happen, Cair Paravel was attacked.”

I look at them before going to the nearby stone wall and start to clear it up, helping Edmund and Peter push it aside so we could get down to the royal treasury, if it was all still there. Getting down to the wood door, it crumbles and falls when trying to be opened. Peter and Edmund share a moment while trying to make a torch only for Edmund to pull a real torch out of his bag, sharing a weak smile we all head inside and down the stairs.

“I can’t believe it, it’s all still here.”

Brushing my hand against the wall, it all looked so familiar so much the same, but with crumbling walls and pillars. Hurrying down the steps I go to my own chest and open it, staring inside I tear up and pull out a dress, the one I wore when I'd been recrowned. Shifting many things aside I pull my sword from the back of the chest, smiling softly.

“I was so tall.”

“Well, you were older than.”

“As opposed to hundreds of years later, when you’re younger.”

We all were trying on or holding things from our adulthood, I very gently slip the golden crown upon my head, it resting slightly askew being a little big now.

“What is it?”

Lucy was staring at Susan.

“My horn, I must have left it on the saddle the day we went back.”

I pause, thinking hard back to that day and remembering how we very meticulously put everyone’s things down here that first morning, but not remembering Susan’s horn being among the items. I glance at Edmund and he seemed entirely confused by the crown resting upon my brow. I turn and slide it back into the chest, grabbing my sword and setting it aside along with my shield and some old armor from when I was much younger.

Peter went to his chest and pulled the sword, staring at the engraving, at the spoken words that led us to rule this land and the lands around it.

“When Aslan bares his teeth, winter meets it’s death.”

“And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again.”

Lucy and I glanced at each other, repeating the words.

“Everyone we knew, Mr. Tumnus and the beavers... their all gone.”

Everyone shares a look before Peter speaks up,

“I think it’s about time we find out what’s going on.”

I look down before stepping forward, looking to Edmund before around.

“But first, I have to tell you the secret I’ve been keeping and please try not to be too mad... I know it was wrong to hide it from all of you so I'm sorry but... I’m sure you’ll understand.”

Taking a deep breath, I start to speak.

#cairparavelnet #cairparavelnet:augustevent #chronicles of narnia #narnia #edmund pevensie #susan pevensie #peter pevensie #lucy pevensie #NARNIA FIC #narnia x OC #MaudeAU

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