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#cíara answers
fighterkimburgess · 3 months
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How ya doing? Becasue I know if I'm freaking out, you have to be on the verge of a cardiac event
*happy little stomps*
It’s 4.28am, I have to be on a train in a disgustingly short amount of time, and I am sobbing into my pillow because ADAM RUZEK AND KIM BURGESS ARE ENGAGED WITH A DAUGHTER.
I can’t believe it. I can’t. I mean I can but like…my emotions are everywhere right now. Oh shit this is. Is this what it’s like for a ship to sail?
Honestly I’m waiting for Ree’s excited messages the second she watches but I won’t tag her cause I’m not spoiling her.
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gardensaladplease · 1 year
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Sorry to hear about your grand dad
Sending (safe) hugs 💜
Thank you! It’s a scary time, but we’re hopeful. He got moved out of ICU this morning which is good.
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aromanticbuck · 11 months
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Kim Burgess + 🏳️‍🌈
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*gently holds this up* I just think she’s neat
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deanstead · 1 year
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you say cíara is your friend. do you know them personally? have you met them?
The only thing this ask did was to make me feel slightly sorry for you and hope that one day you will understand what the word friend means.
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Your new url is amazing 💙💙💙
Thanks love 💕
Ps. I love your answer to that anon about upzek.
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callmewrinkles3 · 8 months
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Long story short - DR3 x Fem!OC
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Masterlist.
Summary: Summer break 2023 means a trip back to Perth to see how construction is going on the farm and but especially to spend Em’s birthday with family.
Warnings: Mentions of past abusive family dynamics, mentions of sex, past pregnancy loss.
Words: 6k
A/N: Hey hey! We know you’ve missed oneshots so here’s Em’s birthday for you to enjoy. We may have cried multiple times writing this, just very normal. It was pretty great lol. Hope you enjoy it and let us know what you think! All our love, Alex and Cíara.💜
August 2023
The summer break every year - with the exception of 2018 and 2020 - had involved being in the States. It was usually LA and sun for a few days, or a week somewhere in the mountains for Dan to do altitude training to prepare for races like Brazil and Mexico. But that summer things were different. With the farm construction happening fast thanks to the baby’s due date coming so soon, and Blake and Charlie being adorable, the three of them were flying back home to spend the full two weeks of the shutdown in the Australian winter. It was still milder than a European one, Em giggling as the boys changed into thick hoodies before ending the journey that had started in Italy.
Dan wanted to take full advantage of the time off, conspiring with Charlie to plan Em’s thirty third birthday. She knew it was happening and just let him plan it. Even with her dislike of parties she knew Dan wouldn’t go too overboard, so she just laughed and told him to do what he wanted. Having it surrounded by people felt strange. The year before had been just the two of them in their little bubble, and before that it had always been with Dan. She hadn’t had her parents involved since she was ten and had her final birthday party before secondary school. Because she was a summer baby her parents had acted like she didn’t need a party. The kids in school wouldn’t realise there was no party to be invited to.
She insisted it wasn’t necessary to organise anything but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Dan wanted his pregnant wife to be as happy as she could be before the chaos of the last half of the season happened so it was a full thirteen days surrounded by their people before the flight back to Faenza.
Em had to admit that it was a perfect idea. Ever since she’d found out about the pregnancy and told Grace she needed her mother there for all the questions she had. It was a blessing to spend time and to ask the questions she was embarrassed about - even when Michelle butted in and made jokes at her expense. It was there with her family and she felt good. She could call either of them any time that she wanted but it was no substitute for actually being there. She needed the hugs and physical contact that only a mum could give.
What Em had needed the entire time was for the woman who’d promised to love her as her own to wrap her in a cuddle and remind her that everything was going to be fine. That she was going to spend Christmas with her beautiful newborn baby girl. And when Grace said it Em believed it.
They got to spend the two weeks with family and eating good food, being looked after before the world could intervene. That’s what Grace and Joe had always done for Dan and they pulled Em into that world, looking after their kids when they needed it the most.
But the best thing about staying with her in laws and not the building site that was currently their farmhouse was getting to stay in Dan’s childhood bedroom. Grace hadn’t redecorated since he’d left for Italy half his life ago, the old school NASCAR posters on the wall and karting trophies on shelves. The photos of his family and friends were there to surround Dan with reminders of his childhood. Em refused to mention the one of Dan and Michael on their school football team that had disappeared when she was in the shower one morning. She couldn’t ruin their time at home talking about something like that. As far as she was concerned the picture was never there. It was the same way they were all pretending Michael had never been in their lives. Grace and Joe knew better than to ask about him.
That whole situation hurt a little less every day, but it still ached. It was easier when they weren’t in the paddock. The plan was to spend more time in Italy so Dan could be at the factory more where Michael wouldn’t really be. In London and Perth they could avoid his neighbourhood and the places he liked to go. But race weekends it was impossible. They shared the same garage, the same hospitality. They turned left to go into Dan’s driver room at Budapest and Spa and knew that he was the other side of the too flimsy wall having turned right. They could and did run into him at any time. Em wanted to tell him how she was, how the baby was. How his niece was. But Lulu wasn’t going to be his niece. She wasn’t going to even know him. It gutted Em that her brother wasn’t in her life anymore but he’d made his decision and it didn’t hurt as much. But it hurt the most during the parties Dan held in Perth.
The first one was ridiculous and unexpected, held two days after they arrived in Australia. It was part Charlie’s idea and part Dan’s, the decision made between them to celebrate Blake and Em. Neither of them realised that it was happening when they arrived back at the Ricciardos that afternoon. Blake had brought her to take a look at kitchen fittings for the farmhouse, the plan to bring Dan back to look at her top picks before they were put into the rebuilt kitchen. She was getting the kitchen of her dreams and she was taking advantage, copper fittings and marble countertops on the wooden cabinets. There was all the storage she wanted, the plans were ready for her to show Dan and see what he thought. It was their forever home and she couldn’t wait.
She arrived back to Grace and Joe’s to their family there, Charlie’s brother Cal and his boyfriend standing near the back nervously. Blake’s parents had flown out to be there too. Dan stood on a rickety kitchen chair, his hand on Blake’s shoulder to stay steady.
“I’m usually good at saying stuff but this is really hard. The last…the last year or so has been really hard. And there’s two people who could have walked away but didn’t, and this is to make sure they know how loved and appreciated they are. Blake, you’re my brother. You more than anyone else had a reason to yell at me and tell me to get my shit together - sorry Ma.”
“Just this once!” Grace called as Dan collected himself.
“Emmy, you married me and you love me and we’re having a baby and I still don’t know why you decided to stay through everything that was said about you. But you are the best woman I’ve met in my life, and I love you to pieces. You know. But this is just to say thank you to all of you for being there and helping. Cause I wouldn’t be in a seat again without you all.”
It was scattered applause and Em reached for her husband to give him the biggest hug, pulling him tight for a moment as Lulu kicked against him.
“You’re gonna be the best dad, Dan. We love you so much. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
The words were completely true, even with everything that had happened. The emotional and physical pain. The embarrassment being turned away from the paddock in Spa the year before thanks to stupid mind games. The hospital visit and the therapy and the near screaming match with her parents. Because they were home with their baby coming soon and in love. It was hard and worth it.
She spent that day swapping between Isaac and Isabella on her knee, Cal and Ryder taking the other child and playing. The last thing she said to Cal before he left was that Ryder was a keeper, watching the younger man blush. He was a sweetheart like the rest of their family.
Blake and Charlie were the last ones to leave, hugs to everyone the order of the day. Finally they left, Em going nearly straight to bed to sleep thanks to missing her usual afternoon nap.
Em told Dan not to make a huge fuss of her birthday, that a relaxing day would be fine. But she knew really that there was no chance her husband or family would let her birthday pass like that. It was the one day where they could shower her with love and affection without her complaints so they took full advantage.
She woke up that morning to Dan covering her in kisses, pulling her in for slow birthday sex that had them both gasping for breath and desperate to keep quiet. Her husband held her even tighter for a few moments before they got up, Dan leading her to the kitchen where Grace and Joe sang Happy Birthday as she came in. There were pancakes and bacon waiting for her with a candle lit on the top of a lavender iced cupcake. She started tearing up immediately, not even attempting to pretend that it was the pregnancy hormones that caused her emotions. It was happy tears. She was happy and loved and that was what she cared about. She and Dan had made it through, and the joy that morning compared to the worry of the previous year was so different.
It felt like a dream compared to the year before, her husband by her side and she was pregnant with their baby. They were getting everything they wanted and life was good. Nobody was taking this from her and she spent her morning curled up against Dan on the couch as he kept whispering how much he loved her, making her grin and kissing her cheeks with each smile.
Nothing had prepared her for the birthday party that Blake, Charlie, and Dan had prepared for her at the Clarke’s farm. Dan led her into the barn where they’d held their wedding, a shout of “SURPRISE” ringing around the room. She loved it so much, lavender decorations everywhere as their families were all there. She started tearing up of happiness again, tears spilling over as Isaac and Isabella came running over to her yelling “happy birthday Auntie Emmy!”.
She honestly didn’t expect gifts from people. Dan had been the first person to give her gifts just because, but there was a table tucked away in the corner with presents for her to open later. It was insane to her how many there were, everyone saying she could open them later. Charlie’s parents hugged her and pulled a chair out to urge her to sit, Em watching as Isaac and Isabella brought over their presents for her.
The first one that Isaac insisted on her opening had Toy Story wrapping paper, and inside was a huge box with everything she could ever want to make friendship bracelets with. They had a tradition to make new ones every time they were in Perth with the kids, weaving thread and beads together to make cute ones. Isaac explained how he wanted new ones, and he wanted them to make new ones for the baby too.
“They’re gonna be teeny tiny cause the baby’s gonna be like Iz’s dolly, but we need them to have lots so they grow!” He explained to Em, clearly happy to have a new cousin to play with.
“You’re so right, Baby. I love it, thank you! You’re gonna come over at the weekend and we can make some before I go back to Europe?”
With a nod and a kiss on his aunt’s cheek Isaac ran back to his uncle Dan, the promise of getting to go look at the cattle on the farm too alluring. Instead his little sister took his spot on Em’s lap, handing over a box wrapped in lavender unicorn paper. Inside it was a bright pink Barbie box. The doll had brunette hair like Em, complete with a travel set. There was a neck pillow, a suitcase that looked like Em’s own one, and everything else Barbie her could need.
“It’s just like you!” Isabella exclaimed as soon as the paper was ripped away and dumped on the other side of the table. It really did nearly look like her.
“Oh my God, I love it.” She kissed her niece’s curly hair, holding on tightly as Isabella pointed out the phone and camera. “Thank you so, so much, Baby girl. I love it so, so much. It’s the best.”
“Can we play tomorrow?” The little girl asked, looking up with big eyes and an angelic face. It was nearly impossible for Em to say no.
“After school, ok? But then we can, promise. And we’ll have some more cake, but don’t tell your Mum and we’ll make sure to save some for her.”
At the start she didn’t ask why a Barbie doll, it came from her niece and that was what she cared about. But while during the party Isabella kept asking about the baby and patting Em’s tummy, she couldn’t stop wondering why. Once Isabella was safely occupied with one of Charlie’s nieces she decided she had to ask, walking over to her sister in law and getting the words out. As soon as Michelle began to speak Em regretted asking.
“We were in the kitchen and she came to tell me and Mum that you come up with the best stories for the Barbies while you play, but you never had one growing up so you didn’t have a favourite Barbie. She thought because you travel so much Travel Barbie would be your favourite. I couldn’t say no, Em. I’m sorry you never had one.”
Em never thought Isabella would remember that single conversation. It was months ago, the week before her wedding. If she’d realised Isabella would think about it she wouldn’t have said it.
Part of the therapy that Mildred was working on with her was giving her that allowance to be a kid. She’d never gotten to be, but Mildred told her to do the things she wanted to. Spend time with her niece and nephew and play with them. She’d made a bundle of friendship bracelets before seeing Taylor Swift as part of it. So when Isabella asked if she wanted to play Barbies Em said yes immediately.
She and Dan were on babysitting duty, the four of them were downstairs playing with Isaac’s cars. Instead of playing he and Dan had fallen asleep thanks to exhaustion and a sugar crash from the final wedding cake tests. The two girls were alone and Isabella pulled Em upstairs before taking out a Barbie carry case and asking Em to do braids in Skipper’s hair.
It was while Em was twisting the slick strands of plastic hair when Isabella asked her about her favourite Barbie as a kid. She couldn’t tell the truth and break her niece’s childhood. The truth was that her parents thought dolls were ridiculous and she was never allowed to have them growing up, that she had puzzles and non fiction books. Even fiction books had to be by certain authors or she couldn’t read them because they wouldn’t “develop her brain”.
The short answer, the easy one, was “Oh, I didn’t have any Barbies.” Followed by asking if Isabella wanted her hair to match Skippers and a child sitting in Em’s lap to get her french braids put in the subject matter was closed. She was convinced that Isabella had forgotten about it. The next topic of conversation was how pretty her flower girl dress for the wedding was and how she looked “like a fairy princess” in it. But she hadn’t.
Her thoughts were pinned on the topic after she spoke to Michelle. Em went mostly through the motions for the rest of the party, hugging her friends and talking to everyone. Chloe and Scotty made a surprise appearance for her, a giant hug and a promise that Em was coming out with Chloe and Charlie in a couple of days for lunch.
The box with the doll stayed in her hand and all she could imagine was a couple of years time when her daughter started playing with it. She couldn’t imagine having a baby, going through pregnancy and labour to not even want the result. To never really want a baby like her parents never wanted her. Even thinking about her baby girl not having the entire world hurt so much it made her want to cry. It was still four months until she’d arrive and Em and Dan would do anything to keep her safe and love her. Her nursery in London was ready to go, the last thing a photo collage Em wanted to make of all the adults who would love Lulu. The only reason her room in Perth wasn’t ready was because of the construction, but the furniture had been delivered and was sitting in an outbuilding. They already had enough to fill the playroom and the nursery even though Lulu would sleep in their room for the first few months. The travel arrangements were ready to go. They even had Lulu’s luggage all set.
Em had never really understood how someone couldn’t love their own child, but as she counted down the days to her due date it was even harder. She knew there was reasons why, she knew some people weren’t pregnant in good situations. But when she was pregnant and married and had tried for a baby? It was irrational to her that you wouldn’t want that child.
But while the birthday party continued she refused to let herself go there. She wouldn’t let herself think about why her parents were the way they were and how much that hurt. And she definitely wasn’t thinking about how the last time she came home from this room her former best friend had left her life in the most unceremonious of ways. That wasn’t raining on her parade, not today. So she walked over, hugged her husband, whispered how much she loved him and how thankful she was for the wonderful day she was having.
“Remember when you weren’t the party kind and I had to drag you anywhere?” Dan joked, kissing her cheek as she smiled.
“I reckon you were the one who dragged me to different ones ever since we met. But you know me, Dimples. I still don’t like big things much but this? This is nice. These are the ones I like.”
Even at 33 she hated when she was the centre of attention and people sang happy birthday to her. She wasn’t sure if anyone actually liked being surrounded by friends singing off key and out of tune, but for the first time it didn’t feel weird. The people who were around her had been supporting her through every single good and bad moment in the last five years. They loved her no matter how broken or weird she felt. They made sure that she knew how loved she was, no matter what. Every single person had wormed their way into her heart when she’d tried to keep people out. So when the singing ended and she took a deep breath to blow out the birthday candles in one breath she had one wish in her mind. To keep every single person in this room in her life forever.
The winter meant the sun was setting early, exhaustion hitting Em hard. She’d needed naps more and more since she’d become pregnant and this was the second time in a week that she hadn’t had one. After her third yawn and as the kids were getting cranky they all decided to head home. It took Dan to make her sit down and not help clear up, Charlie’s parents half shooing them out of the barn warning that the cleaning was sorted, to go home and rest. Joe drove them back, Grace in the front seat as Em rested her head against Dan’s shoulder and half dozed while the other three made conversation in low tones.
Her husband had to shake her to wake her up when they got back to the house, Em stretching as she undid her belt. It was tempting to stay and sleep in the car, but her back was sore enough after a night in a comfy bed. Sitting up in a car would be worse.
Dan didn’t want to wake her when they arrived back at the house, but it was safer for her to get out of the car on her own instead of Dan lifting her out. He helped her up and closed the door behind her.
“Did you have a good day, Kiddo?” Joe asked a half awake Em as they walked back into the house. Dan’s arm was around her waist to help keep her up and stop her from tripping up with tiredness.
“Best birthday of my life. You didn’t need to do it, but thank you for doing it for me.”
“It’s what you deserve, Darling,” Grace insisted. Her mother in law pushed a kiss to her forehead before Dan brought Em up to bed.
Before they made it into their room Dan dragged her into the bathroom, getting Em to sit on the toilet as he took her makeup off fully and helped rub her moisturiser in. She was too tired to do it, almost deciding to just sleep without washing her face. But as delicately as possible Dan wiped it off, using crouching in front of her as an excuse to stroke her cheek and steal kisses from his wife.
Once they were ready to go to bed Dan lifted her off the toilet and across the hallway to deposit her on the bed, Em giggling at his actions. It didn’t take long for him to pull her dress and leggings off, replacing them with clean underwear and one of his old, worn shirts that was soft enough for Em. She laughed as he kept stealing kisses from her as he pulled the shirt over her bump, rubbing gently
“I’m lazy and sleepy but I can still change my clothes on my own, Babe.”
“You know very well that I love undressing you. Even if you actually have to wear something to bed because we’re at home.”
If they were in the apartment or even on the farm they wouldn’t be wearing anything. The skin to skin contact in bed always made Em relax and help her sleep better but considering they were at Dan’s parents they had to be semi decent. Em wore one of his shirts and Dan would at least keep his underwear on. Even when he complained more than once.
“Any excuse to see me naked, right?” Em smiled before kissing his cheek and finally laying down to be able to rest. “C’mon Dimples, your wifey is exhausted. Come to bed.”
She patted the mattress beside her to wait for Dan to crawl into the bed and she could get into his arms. She knew it’d take him longer to fall asleep than her. Every night since she’d gotten that positive pregnancy test he’d started his own little night time ritual of telling the baby a story while kissing and stroking her bump. He wasn’t joking about wanting to be a hands on dad, so since day one he did everything in his power to connect with their baby. It didn’t matter how long was left until she was in his arms, he wanted his daughter to know who her daddy was from day one.
From all the things he did or could do those five or ten minutes as they wound down for bed were some of his favourite of the day. Most nights Em stayed awake listening to what her husband was saying while she read. Other nights like this one she fell asleep easily and left her loves to have their late night chats.
“Before I get in I have one last thing for you.” Dan pulled a colourful Happy Birthday gift bag that was hidden in the bottom drawer of the wardrobe. “I know you’re going to say I’ve given you too many gifts, but it’s your birthday and our anniversary so birthaversary rules mean I get to spoil you. If you let me I’d spoil you every day. I’m so lucky to get to love you and be your husband. I couldn’t say this earlier cause I’d start crying, but I just…thanks, Emmy. I couldn’t do any of this without you. And you’ve made me the happiest man in the world. I love you.”
“I love you too, Danny. So much. Marrying you is the best thing I ever did. And this better not be lingerie that won’t fit me anymore.” He laughed at her words and handed over the bag, sitting up beside her in the bed. It was six years of being around Dan, of him getting overexcited and determined to spoil her rotten at all times. She’d jokingly complain about how he got her too much, but he was like that for everyone. She learned to get used to how Dan showed his love with gifts and making life easier for people. This was another one of those occasions so she sat up on the bed with a pillow supporting her back, looking at her husband as he smiled.
“You’re the hottest mama in the world, Baby girl. But no, it’s nothing like that. Just open it, ok?”
The second Em opened the bag and saw the stuffed crocodile inside she started crying. Pregnancy hormones couldn’t be blamed for these tears.
When she was three her parents brought her on a trip to a holiday camp in Wales. She barely remembered any of it apart from a little playground beside the pub there, but it was the kind of place that was where they could take her for a weekend to prove how normal they were. An hour from Liverpool, two nights and enough photos to prove they took their daughter away on holiday.
One of the few things she did remember was how much she loved Captain Croc, the crocodile mascot that wandered around. They’d gotten her a teddy, the first one she remembered having. He was vivid green and yellow, blue dungarees with yellow interlocking Cs and big white eyes. He was her comfort toy, hugging him in her tiny arms and bringing him everywhere until she started primary school.
She thought she remembered the feeling of having a new best friend to play with and make up games. Now she knew it was probably her brain trying to make a memory to help her cope with a messed up childhood.
The one definite memory that Em did have was how thirty years later she watched her husband tear up as he looked at a photo of her tiny self holding Captain Croc. Dan held it together until they made it back to the hotel after they left her parents house with the final box of things she was taking. Once they were in that room he started sobbing because he didn’t understand how nobody was there to hold that little girl and tell her how perfect she was. He sobbed because he knew that it was one of the few really happy moments she had in her early childhood. Not that she realised that it should have been better then.
But above all Dan sobbed because that’s what their baby might have looked like. It was the week after she should have had their first baby. They should have been parents. Imagining how their baby could have been hurt like that by anyone cut him to the core and he sobbed in Em’s arms as she held him and promised that they would do better. They would make sure their baby was so loved. She was used to the casual cruelty of her own parents, the way they used words as weapons. Dan who’d never known anything but support and love didn’t understand it.
This teddy meant more than just a gift from her husband to remind her of a bright spot in her life. It was the reminder of slowly healing wounds that still weren’t fully scabbed over. That photo had opened them up more again, and the teddy reminded her more. The day she told Dan the story he held her as they both sobbed. He’d have done anything to have a little girl who looked just like his Emmy. Anything to see his Emmy holding their mini me baby but life was unfair and cruel. Instead of holding their baby that day they held each other, promising that one day it was going to happen. They were going to get to have their family and be happy, no matter what.
But in the final hours of her birthday, thirty one years after she first held her teddy, Em started sobbing again. She had no idea how Dan had found an exact copy of the Captain Croc she’d loved so much but he did. Hers was too delicate, kept in a box in the apartment in London to be shown to her kids as a memento. But he’d found a brand new one, making child and adult Em sob with happiness.
“I knew that a certain little lady wanted to give you a Barbie because you never had one, so I thought that Barbie could do with having a friend. And in a couple of years when our little lady is able to she’ll want to play with them too.” Dan helped Em pull him out of the bag. It should have been easy but her hands were shaking so badly that she couldn’t get him out fully.
The adrenaline and relief flowing through her body made her shake like a leaf in Dan’s arms. Em didn’t know how she had gotten this lucky. She had friends who flew hours to see her for her birthday, a family who loved her enough to make a big deal of her. And the most loving and caring husband in the world. She still didn’t know what she did to deserve it and get it, but she was so thankful for it. It was yet another day where even with everything that had happened, even with the way her parents acted and her family was it was worth it because she had Dan. She’d have done it over and over if this was the result. She was married to the love of her life, she was having their baby, and they were happier than she thought possible.
It took longer than she expected to calm down her sobs, Dan holding onto her tightly. He ran his hand against her back, whispering how much he loved her in between pressing kisses to her face and head. It was whispers of how proud he was of her, how much he loved her, how wonderful she was. And most importantly how he knew that their baby loved her already.
“Marrying you a year ago was the best decision of my entire life, you know that, right?” Em whispered, her voice still shaking with sobs. “Y’know, right?”
“I know. We’re still a couple of hours away from exactly a year.” Dan checked his watch, it was ten in Perth, two in London. This time a year ago he was waiting for Em to come back and pick out wedding rings with him before their four pm appointment.
“Happy anniversary, my Love. It was the best idea we ever had.”
Her birthday overshadowed the fact that it was their first wedding anniversary. A year ago they were running around London, Em buying her wedding dress in Marks and Spencer as Dan wore a suit she loved him in. The two of them standing in the registry office in Kensington and promising to love each other, desperate to keep the other happy and get through the next few months together.
It was hard to believe that 365 days had passed since she finally became Mrs Ricciardo. She loved it. She’d loved being his wife every single day, even the horrible ones. It was a year where she’d woken up at her husband’s side every single morning and she could never take it for granted.
“Happy anniversary, Baby girl. You and our little one here are the greatest things that ever happened to me,” Dan whispered as he pulled her up, close enough to finally give Em a kiss while he rubbed her bump.
“Happy anniversary, Danny. Here, for you.” Em reached across and pulled the wrapped package out from under the bed. She’d been wracking her brain about what to get him, but in the end it was an easy decision. Dan opened it quickly, Em watching as he realised what it was.
Traditionally the first anniversary was paper, and she found someone on Etsy who made star charts of the night sky on important dates. It was the sky above London the night they met, Monaco the first night they spent together, Spa when they said they loved each other for the first time, and London when they’d got married. The poster was their important moments highlighted and she saw the grin spread across his face.
“You are amazing. Thank you. This is…it’s everything.” He put it to the side as he pulled her in, holding her as she began to lull to sleep.
“You know what’s crazy? Next year we’re gonna be celebrating our birthdays and anniversaries with her.”
“That’s all I want. The three of us snuggled up together doing nothing all day.”
Em couldn’t help but smile, imagining how it would be to wake up with their baby and her husband right there. No plans needed except spending the day with the loves of her life. She didn’t want anything else and it felt greedy to even consider asking to get anything else. She got to marry her Dan and love him openly, and their baby was strong and healthy and growing. It was more than she could have imagined.
“We’ll cuddle and eat cake. She better like lemon drizzle. I mean I’ll settle for chocolate fudge if I have to.”
“She might not. I mean I’ve been eating it so much she might hate it. Or she’ll be obsessed.”
“Lulu’s half you, Emmy. She’s obsessed already I think.” Em laughed at his tone, curling into Dan.
“Can I sleep like this?” She asked, hiding her face against Dan’s chest. She felt ridiculous holding Captain Croc in her arms as she could feel sleep hitting her while her husband was holding her tightly. But she felt just as defenceless as the little girl in the photos. The big difference between the Em of thirty years ago was that now there were people who looked after her and hugged her on the bad days. Who made sure she was eating and cared for. She’d never had someone love her unconditionally like that until Dan was in her life.
“Anything you want, birthday girl.”
Em’s wishes were Dan’s commands, so she fell asleep in her husband’s arms, head on his chest as her teddy was between them with Dan’s low whispers to their baby echoing in her ears. It might be immature, a grown woman and soon to be mother getting that comfort, but she wanted and needed it. The rest didn’t matter. She and Dan were happy and that was what was important.
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kim-ruzek · 3 months
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Any headcanons about your fave characters and ships you want to share? 🙂🙂
Why is it ALWAYS the way that whenever I get asked this, I seem to immediately forget all my headcanons? I love talking about my headcanons and I always want to have the opportunity to share them, but each and every time my mind panics and forgets them.
I've thought this over for a couple days and been casually writing up my answer but I don't think I'm going to remember much else that I've already written, or that I don't want to share because I hate feeling like people are Judging me (those headcanons are for Cíara's ears only apparently lol).
I've spent an awful amount of time thinking about Kim, so all of these will be around her. And some of these are ones that are shared/developed with Cíara.
Because I've always got a soft spot for lingess' friendship: Erin and Kim are still friends, and still keep in touch. If they ever see each other in person, it has to be Kim visiting her in New York, which she has, albeit not very much due to both of their works. Kim hasn't managed to go to see her since at least 2019, though. I have more headcanons about this but I'll keep it just as this.
I've talked about this one before and to my ire canon keeps trying to make this seem less and less likely for me to pretend is canon lol - Sylvie and Kim are close friends. They try to have a girls night and they originally bonded over having failed engagements. As an extension of this, which is one that came from Cíara, girls' night usually consists of Sylvie, Kim and Severide.
Zoe, Kim's niece, was born when Kim was 17. As per canon, Kim was kind of a nightmare as a teen, so I headcanon that Zoe's birth is what grounded her more, because Zoe deserved an aunt.
These ones changes occasionally depending how I feel and what works best for my fic usually, but Kim graduated at 17, not 18 and/or for a year or so, she primarily actually lived with her sister and her husband because she didn't want to be at home. Her BIL was never much a fan of this.
Kim knew she wanted to be a cop from when she was at least in her teens, but she then got some doubts when she was waiting to be of the age requirement - and she had always loved flying and being a flight attendant, she really fell in love with it. She had applied for the academy but while she was waiting to get in, she had doubts about whether or not she'll actually do it. Then one day at work, there was trouble and she helped in taking down the troublemaker and the rush she got convinced her being a cop was her calling.
Some of her pilot friends were sort of disappointed at this because they were trying to convince her to become a pilot/go back to uni and do something in aviation.
Her flight attendant friends never really understood why she wanted to be a cop, and especially after the (first) shooting, they drifted apart because they just weren't the same people.
Kim and her mom no longer talk, and while their relationship had always been rocky, Kim stopped putting in the effort after the engagement fell apart because even though Adam didn't meet her, Kim couldn't get over that her mom only being in town one night made the situation that much worse. Her mother's opinions on the failed engagement, then especially when she made intelligence sealed that.
Kim hates being beholden to her family's money so she, since getting into adulthood, has steadfastly refused to accept any and all money from them.
She had cousins in another state who while didn't have as much money as Kim's side did, had loving parents and Kim growing up was always very envious.
Kim hates talking about her past, even with Adam. As a result, especially now she's more open with him, they'll be little, relatively minor, bits of information that she forgets she never told Adam and some of these will be things she has told Kev and she'll bring these information up around Adam only to learn, no he didn't know that. Kev finds it amusing.
Kim paints.
Kim dreads the day Mack will one day ask about Kim's own parents, especially her father who, after her parents' divorce, none of Kim's family speak to.
Trudy and Kim has bonded together over trashy romance novels and will routinely recommend each other ones. This started after the first engagement fell through.
Kim still keeps somewhat in touch with Meredith and Michelle.
Adam's sister doesn't like Kim, and never has. His mom feels similarly but less confrontational.
Kim feels similar towards them, although she is always a little sad because growing up, she dreamt that one day she'll get the family she wanted in the form of her in-laws.
I think that's all I have for now, but I hope you enjoyed reading them. I have a lot more when they came from!
Thank you for asking! :)
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fighterkimburgess · 1 year
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Good morning. Still basking in last night’s episode. I have a tremendous amount of agreement with you on the Fangirlish reviews. One thing I’m not clear on is when they talk about Voight lying to Kim and being the cause of the trauma. Maybe initially when she didn’t know, but now?
I know that Voight, Hailey, and Jay did conceal what happened to Roy, but even though they didn’t show it, Kim has to know that Roy’s dead and not a threat. FBI dweeb (I’m drawing a blank on his name, right now), had to report that Roy’s body was found, even though he concealed part of it, by saying a rival killed him.
Am I off base on this? It’s been bothering me a bit, but I can understand it because they could’ve followed up with a scene of someone telling Kim that he’s dead. But I don’t think Voight continued to contribute to her trauma.
Glad to see you back!
Oh I’m gonna go on a ramble and I have no shame. Because Voight completely thinks of Kim as his daughter, and it’s been shown time and time again since season seven. And just because something isn’t shown on screen doesn’t mean Kim doesn’t know.
She’s in therapy. I guarantee if Walton was still out there - or Kim thought he was - it’d have been brought up. It’s too juicy a topic not to being up. She knows he’s dead. Should the show have shown us that? Yeah but last season was Eid plotted so…
But back to my Voight and Kim thing. In 7x11 he hugs her and grins when she tells him she’s pregnant. We’ve never seen Hank Voight do that. Ever. Not even with the woman he raised since she was fifteen. The look on his face outside the hospital room? The way he let her work on the case in 7x13 even though she shouldn’t have? Tell me he doesn’t adore her. Try it.
All through season 8 he’s checking in on her about Makayla. When she’s abducted it’s the “or her daughter” that makes him decide to kill Walton. Watch his face closely in that scene. Walton’s getting beaten, but it’s not until Makayla is threatened that Voight goes feral. There’s a meta I wrote that’s linked in my masterlist about this.
And then season 9 and checking on her in 9x02. Telling her in 9x14 that he wouldn’t bet against her. In 9x15 he’s the only one who knows what Adam and Kim are going through and tries to guide them.
And then last night. If you think for a second that that man was going to pull Kim you’re wrong. If you think that was anything other than a man who is watching her claw back from the brink, and is so proud of her? You’re wrong.
It’s a man who has watched his pseudo daughter battle demons that he can’t imagine, seeing her beat them. It’s a man who can’t tell her how proud of her he is. But he’s showing it in every way he looks at her.
I’ll never say Voight is a good guy. But he truly loves Kim Burgess like a daughter, and if you don’t see that then you are will fully just looking at him to hate him.
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fighterkimburgess · 1 year
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what do you think it was about 10x17/18 that felt different for adam compared to other times especially 8x05. asking about 8x05 especially because he did ask her to try again in that episode too.
Because Kim told him she felt the same way. That she always had felt the same way as he did. But she was scared and numb.
Kim and Adam were growing their relationship in season 7, they were becoming a family. Yeah it was a modern platonic one, but there was that love between them. And then they had it ripped away from them in such a traumatic way that Kim tried to hide because she blamed herself. She said it. She shouldn't have been there, she shouldn't have lost their baby.
But this time? They said their feelings. They weren't "sleeping together every six months". It was like their first time all over again, you can tell from the choreography and how they are. That look on Kim's face when Adam's getting up? That's a woman in love.
8x05 Kim was still grieving. She was still upset and still closing off from everyone else. But she was open to what Adam was saying too - the end of the episode when she said "I know this might change what we have, you know, we can have". She was open to it but then she was abducted and shot and terrified and numb.
Because Adam didn't leave. He didn't walk away. And with her trauma she's terrified of him leaving. But she's putting the work in because she wants to stay and wants him. And that's why it's different now.
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fighterkimburgess · 3 months
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I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE GETTING MARRIED FOR REAL! after everything they’ve been through
I won’t trust Gwen fully until they’ve walked down the aisle. But oh my god.
HE KEPT THE RING FOR ALL THESE YEARS
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fighterkimburgess · 5 months
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kim-ruzek said if she was kim she wouldnt have able to forgive adam so easily for his relationship with hailey in s6, for keeping it a secret from her. she said that would have destroyed her trust in him and made it difficult to keep personal relationship with him. thats why she would have rejected him in infection. she wouldve never gone to sleep with him like kim did. she said kim made a mistake forgiving him and sleeping with him in s7. what do you think?
I love when people talk to me about my beloved @kim-ruzek! Ree my babe ily.
That's what Ree would have done, but for me idk? I can't say how I would have acted in that place and that's ok. We all have different things. As for Kim making a mistake...I wouldn't call it that. But I think if she hadn't had such an emotional day she may have made a different choice. And that's ok.
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fighterkimburgess · 3 months
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Oh proposals!!! Okay yes, I was just an idiot 😂 in that case, third time is definitely the charm ❤️
Isn't it?! I'm so happy for our babies. I can't stop grinning.
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fighterkimburgess · 3 months
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just saw the news and you were literally the first person i thought of. this is so exciting !!!!!!!
I AM SO EXCITED.
Also exhausted. But excited. Holy crap it’s REAL
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fighterkimburgess · 3 months
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Ignore all the negativity. I am a Jay Halstead stand. I love that man my favorite character ever on this show I stopped watching after 1003. I hate that. Haley and Jay are not together anymore but I am so happy for Kim and Adam. I don’t understand the people that support one ship but truly truly hate on another ship when they’re happy I’ve never been that person because I might not like a ship but then getting married and being happy will always make me happy and the fact is, they grew on me. I love them both so much they’ve grown so much they deserve to be happy and they deserve each other.
So like I said, ignore all the negative negativity live in this happiness because we really haven’t had Adam and Kim happiness in a truly long time and us as long time watchers because I’ve been here since season one episode one deserve to see him happy we’ve been through all of itand they’re happy finally
Thank you!!!! You’re so wonderful.
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fighterkimburgess · 3 months
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why does promo show adam so miserable at home? is he not happy being with kim and mack anymore? did he already get bored of them? if he really loved them sm he would be happy to spend his all time with them instead of trying to get away from them by going to a poker game.
Tell me you've never been in a healthy relationship without telling me you've never been in a healthy relationship.
Sometimes you need time apart. Nobody should spend all their time with the same people.
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fighterkimburgess · 1 year
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you got everyone fooled! you lied about being abused by your ex! they said apparently you were the abusive one and apparently they have proof! you are going to say ex is lying and you are telling truth but do you have proof you were abused?! notice how i didnt take your name when talking about abusive person yet somehow you knew i was talking about you! that is proof you are the abusive one! you are probably abusing your poor bf now! poor boy is probably going to khs because of your abuse!
Because unfortunately for you, my dear anon, you’ve been going around to so many of my friends talking shit about me. Unfortunately now when an anon goes around talking about a random person in the PD fandom, sending messages to people, then unfortunately we all know who it’s about. I’m just lucky my friends warned me.
I started trying to explain my point of view, but there’s no point. You don’t give a shit. You don’t care about me or my ex or that relationship, you just care about making an Actual Human miserable. But here’s the thing.
The people in this fandom know who I am. They know the person I am now, and that I take responsibility for who I am and what I do. What I have done in the past. I’ll never say I’m a perfect person, because I’ve made it clear I don’t believe anyone is perfect.
Just leave me and this fandom alone. You have succeeded in doing what I thought was impossible - Upstead and Burzek fans are semi united in something. And that something is that they have gotten to know me over the last almost two years and know who I am. You, anon, don’t know me. You don’t know my past and you certainly don’t know my future.
But as for my partner - he knows everything about what you’ve been sending to me. We’ve talked about it multiple times. And I get to love him and be loved by him and the abuse you send me - the graphic, horrific asks you’ve sent me about finding him dead or how I’ll make him kill himself - means absolutely nothing.
I sincerely, honestly hope that you find someone who you love. Who loves you for who you are. Because when you do? It’s pretty fucking magical.
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