#c is gonna have an aneurysm

[milfsco]

went and typed out a whole work rant but remembered that i’m supposed to cool and sexc and mysterious on this blog

#ugh i can’t be having all of these personal negative text posts my posts should be reserved for h word daya thoughts #im just. anxious bc i had to leave my new trainee to run things on her own ig and ik she’s good she’s so good w the dogs #butttttt i didn’t have time to properly teach her my like. efficiency. and she’s going much slower than i usually do #which is like. yea take your time and be safe i just don’t want anyone to give her shit for going over the time windows for tasks #i think she managed it but it was lookin rough when she had only gotten 3/10 dogs in the first Half of her window #god if this guy im covering for doesn’t rid himself of c*vid soon…. gonna have an aneurysm out here

[arachine]

— what's going on down there?: a dick analysis

ᥫ᭡ featuring :: jake sully, miles quaritch & norm spellman

ᥫ᭡ includes :: their human forms + avatar forms

ᥫ᭡ genre :: mature

ᥫ᭡ content warnings :: talking about dicks obviously, explicit sexual content (?), humor lol

ᥫ᭡ note :: if you know anything about arachine, you know i love a good dick analysis. these posts are intended for comedic purposes only, which means they’re not to be taken seriously.

— jake “ima slut you out” sully

. . . human form .*+!

⟳ length: as we all know, jake’s life on earth was very unfulfilling. he was a man who sacrificed his legs for the fate of the country, only to be disposed of into the unforgiving hands of society, with no way to reap the benefits (or lack thereof) that veterans were promised to receive. and after losing the privilege of mobility, his body changed drastically. he got smaller, his body got weaker, and yet, one thing remained—that dick! jake is a survivor, through and through—his personal motto is: if it ain’t broken, then it’s still working—and boy, he does not disappoint when it comes to the downstairs department. standing tall at 7 inches, is little jake (maybe not so little). when flaccid, his length measures at a solid 5.7 inches. definitely a grower. 

⟳ width: a little bit on the skinnier side, but he knows how to use it and that’s all that matters!

⟳ color: i think for the most part, his shaft definitely matches the rest of his body; though, i can see it maybe being slightly a little more darker at the base, like a very light beige. when he’s flaccid, his tip is a pretty pink, almost like a ballet slipper (aka the best pink). turns into an angry red when fully erect!

⟳ extra:

01. groomed?: jake pegs me as the kinda guy who doesn’t really care? i mean, trimming isn’t foreign to him, because he has trimmed it before, and does so when he notices it’s gotten to be too long…but, i don’t think it’s something that he does often. to him, it’s just hair. he’s on his grown man shit, you know? 

02. curved?: uhm, yes! you know that one beyoncé lyric? yeah. 

03. any veins?: absolutely covered in ‘em

04. how he fucks with it: i’d like to think before his accident, he was a doggy style connoisseur—come on, it’s jake we’re talking about here. can’t nobody tell me otherwise! i just know he had bitches bent over, weaves sweated out, makeup all over the pillows…mans was f-u-c-k-i-n-g okay? fuckingggg. 

. . . avatar form .*+!

⟳ length: the masses may attack me, but it’s time i spoke up. the man has a monster schlong. a cooter cat killer, if you will. if you thought his human form was big, shit, you ain’t seen nothing yet! completely flaccid, his cock measures to about 10 inches. when fully hard, he grows an additional three! talk about impressive…

⟳ width: so thick that it basically slaps his thighs when he walks. the man could create a beat with it, get em into the soundcloud business now!

⟳ color: self explanatory tbh, it’s fucking blue. as blue as papa smurf’s ass. 

⟳ extra: 

01. groomed?: i’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that because he’s an avatar, he grows hair there. even if i’m wrong, i’m right. i don’t give a damn what james cameron says. he’s basically my character at this point, and i will him to have hair damnit! just…the idea of him having a full bush down there, in the wild, all primitive and shit…does something to me. idk. don’t ask me why i’m so nasty, blame my deadbeat father. 

02. curved?: is a banana yellow? there’s your answer. 

03. any veins?: i might have a brain aneurysm just thinking about it, but yes! god, yes. so many…so, so, so many. ribbed for her pleasure or whatever trojan said. 

04. how he fucks with it: is he still the doggy style connoisseur? yes. but now that’s got the strength of 20 men, backshots sound a whole lot like gunshots now. they say every time the mighty toruk makto thrusts into a cunt, a tree falls down or something. so, yes. fucks hard, fucks rough, fucks like he’s on a mission. what’s that one tik tok audio? “rest in peace to all the soldiers that died in the service, i dive in her cervix.” yeah, he lives by that. 

— miles “on your knees, cadet!” quaritch

. . . human form .*+!

⟳ length: just gonna cut right to the chase. he’s huge. like pussy splitting huge. i don’t care what anyone says, you can argue with ya friend, you can argue with ya mother, but you cannot argue with me! coming in at a solid 6 when flaccid, quaritch takes the cake for the biggest cock on this list (at least, human form wise). at full length, he measures to about 7.8 inches! 

‘booooo’ you say, well, guess what? it’s the truth, and i’m just the messenger. whether you hate him or love him, he’s just that guy. 

⟳ width: surprisingly average. but it’s okay, sometimes you can’t have the best of both worlds. 

⟳ color: if my memory serves me right, he was pretty tan in the first movie. so, i’m gonna stick with that and say that it’s a pretty tan that transitions into a pale pink. i don’t know if some of you have seen old dick, but their tips get less saturated with age. it’s a phenomenon (not really, the blood flow to the groin is just a lot slower, which can make it appear kind of gre—anyway, i digress!)

⟳ extra: 

01. groomed?: this man is a colonel, so he’s all about discipline and keeping things nice and tidy. so, obviously, his hygiene reflects that. i don’t think he goes completely bald, but he does give it a good trim. kind of like a fade…just imagine a patch of grey, prickly hair. yeah. 

02. curved?: yes, and since he’s older, it’s probably curved a lot. you could probably hang something on it. maybe a towel, or a lanyard. it’s definitely useful for something!

03. any veins?: god, i don’t know why, but i have it in my head that he’s on steroids. he’s just so buff and strong, and i mean, yeah, he could just be really fit…but he could also be a self-image obsessed freak who takes drugs to be the perfect soldier. the correlation, you ask? well, i just feel like people who take steroids are really veiny, and i feel like his dick would be really, really veiny. so, thus the rant about steroids. steroid dick. 

04. how he fucks with it: don’t let his age fool you. he may very well be pushing his late fifties, but he’s still a young man at heart—and he’s definitely got the sex drive to prove it! i can see his favorite position being something like missionary. not so much because he enjoys the intimacy of it (like being face to face), but more so because he’s got a size kink—and definitely a dacryphilia kink. he enjoys seeing his partners cry, whether in pain, or in pleasure, or both! so, when you’re fucking him, don’t expect anything romantic. he just wants to see your pretty little face all teary eyed and pathetic. 

. . . avatar form .*+!

⟳ length: so big you can see it from space; that’s how the RDA mfs know they’re close, because they can see the tip protruding from pandora. no, but seriously, it’s still really huge. like maybe 12-14 inches—maximum. 

⟳ width: probably twice as thick as a human’s forearm. and god, it’s sooooo heavy. big breeding balls to match. 

⟳ color: blue blue blue…like wet fun dip. with just as many stripes as the american flag or whatever. 

⟳ extra: 

01. groomed?: yes, but the hair is black instead of grey and it’s probably really straight because na’vi hair is straight as fuck. 

02. curved?: sir, yes sir. 

03. any veins?: what’d i say? steroid dick. but even worse (better) now bc he’s so damn tall, he needs all the blood he can get down there.

04. how he fucks with it: has you in all types of positions. his favorites are anything that shows off his new found strength, so i’m betting on full nelsons and mating presses. just fast, powerful strokes. lives by the motto: can’t stop, won’t stop.

— norm “what’s the sq root of 69?” spellman

. . . human form .*+!

⟳ length: i’m sorry to disappoint the norm fuckers (if there are any), but he’s not that big. when he’s soft, his cock measures to about 4.8 inches, and at most, 6.2 inches when hard. 

⟳ width: skinny dick. 

⟳ color: dawg he’s so white, it’s like hella pale and the tip is so pink that when he’s aroused, it looks like there’s something wrong.

⟳ extra:

01. groomed?: like jake, i don’t think he really cares.

02. curved?: straight like a pencil

03. any veins?: like two, and they’re really prominent because he’s so fucking pale.

04. how he fucks with it: i don’t think human norm is getting puss, let’s be real. 

. . . avatar form .*+!

⟳ length: i am a firm believer in N.W.B.C—nerds with big cocks. it’s just the universe’s way of saying thank you, they just…they just do so much for us, you know? norm may not have been packing down there in his human form, but this was his second chance at redemption. he’s now a proud member of N.W.B.C, sporting an impressive 15 inches. you know that one scene in the first spider-man when pete’s looking at himself in the mirror and he looks inside his briefs? yeah, that was norm when he found out. the man got so excited, he accidentally catapulted a scientist out of pandora’s atmosphere with the weight of his cock. joking. 

⟳ width: on the skinnier side but still toe curling, nonetheless.

⟳ color: laffy taffy blue, with little (big) blueberry balls.

⟳ extra:

01. groomed?: no, he’s too busy in the lab and getting na’vi puss.

02. curved?: unfortunately no

03. any veins?: more than before, which he was pleasantly surprised to see.

04. how he fucks with it: norm’s got a big dick, but he acts so shy, like he’s scared of it or something. like stop playing boy and drop them drawls, the fuck? anyway, i think norm’s a sub. he pegs me as the type of guy who likes strong women, women who’ll tell him to shut the fuck up (because he talks so much) and eat their pussies. i guess this makes him a munch. yeah, he’s a munch. ice spice actually wrote that song with him in mind!

© arachine 2023

#jake sully x reader #jake sully x reader smut #jake sully smut #miles quaritch x reader #miles quaritch x reader smut #miles quaritch smut #avatar x reader #avatar x reader smut #avatar the way of water #avatar the way of water smut #atwow x reader #atwow smut

[bluishfrog]

HAPPY 1-YEAR OF DRAWING ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

(Warning: slightly longer post incoming cause sometimes I gotta be a sentimental bitch ok? So let's go on a little trip down memory lane.)

This day, a year ago, I made my very first fanart. It was dnf (if that surprises you, then welcome to being on my blog for the very first time). I drew a little frog face too so I could use it as a watermark (fun fact: I still use that very same first one).

I immediately put my drawing up on twt because I told myself that I wasn't gonna be afraid of having people see that I was at the very beginning of this journey and had no clue what I was doing. That instead of being bad at art, I was gonna be awesome at being a beginner who doesn't know shit.

I started with little doodles and silly comics and then I laughed way too long when the first drawing of mine that gained some attention was a dnf butt joke. At the time I was trying to balance shipping and non-shipping art so I didn't even draw dnf that much but in hindsight it's probably the only possible way this could have gone.

At the very end of August I woke up to @honelle56 caps-locking at me in my messages - I was very confused and tired (I am no morning person and I will never be, fuck off with your mornings) because Dranart liked my drawing of singing Dream. Dranart was my 17th follower on twt which is a useless yet extremely funny fact about my time on that hellsite.

I also drew human!patches because a) patches was and will always be my favorite dteam member and b) it was a really cute trend and while I do love drawing dream, george and sapnap, I was also quite happy to try drawing anything but a white man for once. And I really liked how the drawing turned out.

Much, much later, I tried to draw my first slightly more realistic looking drawing. I was extremely confused on how to draw anything like this. Especially their hair gave me tons of trouble but given my experience, I think it's not a bad attempt.

When hijacked smp started I obviously wanted to participate, and I drew c!blu who doesn't associate with any side in particular but instead serves soup to everyone who visits her tavern 'The Soup House'. She also wants to be paid in stories from all around the map.

One of the events I was most excited about was dnf week. I even collaborated with two talented writers and I drew the corresponding art for two fics.

(Fun or not so fun fact: when twt had like three hundred collaborative aneurysms about the situation at that moment, that was when I created this tumblr account. I didn't use it super actively (I guess I needed another situation to fully make the switch) but I at least started the account that now developed quite a bit since then.)

I didn't really draw at all through January and February and I actually kinda thought I would move on from that hobby and fandom (not because of negative feelings, just because I didn't really have the urge to create anything within this fandom) and then situations happened and now I am here; and for some reason that is beyond any logic and my understanding I am now even more insane about dteam.

Wild to me but we are rolling with it now, I guess.

Since I got here, I drew more than ever (I actually think I might have made more drawings in the month since I got here than I made the whole rest of the year). There's just such an active and funny community here that cares about fan works for the sake of creating and not just because a CC might see it.

Unfortunately, Tumblr won't let me add more than 10 images in one post (maybe fortunately for everyone who has this monstrosity of a post on their dash). So if you want to see all the progress I made since I got here, you can look at everything in my art tag. For now, I will close this post with one of the art works from the past month that I like the most:

Can't wait to see what the next year might bring :)

Love, blu

#blu rambles #like a LOT #but if you made it to the end of this post you get a hug <3 #bluishfrog art

[underworld-park-offical]

TOLKIEN: Can you believe this shit, Jimmy?

JIMMY: H-h-h-hey

JIMMY: D-d-d-d-don't d-d-d-diss s-s-someone w-w-w-with b-b-b-big d-d-d-dreams 

JIMMY: N-n-n-not cool

TOLKIEN: I will if said dreams are ridiculous and stupid

TOLKIEN: Like being a jackass influencer

STAN: Can we shut up about Craig being a Dollar Store Addison Rae, please?

STAN: I'm getting a migraine listening to this idiotic babbling about how many likes he has

STAN: Just stop, he already does it enough

KYLE: Didn't you start bullying him though?

KYLE: Because it was funny?

STAN: Well it's not now sooooo…. shut up

CLYDE: WHO WAS MOVING THE POINTER THINGIE ON THE BOARD PLEASE CONFESS I WILL CRY

KENNY: I thought you were “manly”

CARTMAN: Woah Kenny, it is 2023 and you’re still throwing around male stereotypes?

CARTMAN: You’re getting C A N C E L E D 

CARTMAN: GUYS KENNY DOESN’T THINK MEN SHOULD CRY

KENNY: HE LITERALLY SAID HE HAD BIG MAN HANDS

KENNY: HE ADMITTED TO GOING TO HOME DEPOT????

KENNY: WHAT AM I BEING CANCELED FOR TELLING THE TRUTH?????

CRAIG: Wow, Kenny, and I thought we were friends, Smh my head

KENNY: WHAT????????

TOLKIEN: Can you move things, Mr. Spirit, sir?

CRAIG: That was so  gay of you

CARTMAN: Why would you assume it was a man???

TOLKIEN: Why would you assume, it's an it?

CARTMAN: ….

TOLKIEN: Exactly

CRAIG: Preach 

CLYDE: IT'S MOVING IT'S MOVING IT'S MOVING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

KENNY: CLYDE SHUT UP!!! AND STOP MOVING, I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING BEHIND YOUR FAT HEAD

CLYDE: I'M GONNA CRYYYYY

KENNY: GOOD

KYLE: S….u…..r……e

CRAIG: Sure?

CRAIG: So the ghost wants to be basic?

CRAIG: Lmao based

STAN: Oh my god shut up

STAN: Please.

TOLKIEN: It could have just used the yes, why would it go through so much effort to give an answer?

CLYDE: Maybe they want to be best friends and are worried about messing things up or being impolite?

CRAIG: That's so based of them, frfr, lol

STAN: A ghost wanting to befriend a bunch of high, lowlife teenagers?

STAN: Yeah, I'm not buying it

CLYDE: F….u….

CLYDE: AWHHH

JIMMY: N-n-n-n-nice g-going st-st-stan, you r-r-ruined our ch-chances of be-be-bef-f-friending C-Casper, a-asshole

STAN: There is no way you actually believe this, right?

STAN: We are all in a simulation

STAN: None of this is real

STAN: We are all in a coma because the government wants to control us

STAN: Trying to make us all boy kissing gays

STAN: But not me, no

STAN: I'm smarter than all of you, so I know I can't be controlled

STAN: This Ouija board is the way for the government to mind control us

STAN: Do not be deceived.

TOLKIEN: Shut up Stan, quit talking out of your ass

STAN: Ass….A…S…S……Actual…..Super…..Sexual…..Sexual as in….Homosexual….

STAN: YOU'RE A GOVERNMENT SPY!

KYLE: Ignore him, Tolkien

TOLKIEN: Have been.

STAN: YOU’RE ALL CONSPIRING AGAINST ME!

CRAIG: Lmao holy shit I need to record this

STAN: YOU'RE ALL JUST MAD BECAUSE I KNOW THE TRUTH!!! YOU ALL ARE BRAINWASHED!!!!

CRAIG: Stan…. bffr… smile for the camera

STAN: NO!!! THOSE CAMERAS PUT MICROCHIPS IN YOUR HAND LIKE THEY HAVE THE VACCINES

CRAIG: Is he /j or /srs rn?

KYLE: He's serious, unfortunately

KYLE: Let's just move on before I get an aneurysm

KENNY: Good idea

KYLE: Is…. anything moving?

TOLKEIN: Oh I don't know, Kyle, can a blind person see?

KYLE: ….

TOLKIEN: No, exactly

CLYDE: IT'S SO DARK IN HERE I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK!!!

TOLKIEN: No, Porkchop, you aren’t

CLYDE: I AM NOW!!

STAN: Everything is all so dark

STAN: It's what they want

KYLE: It's what who wants? STAN: Aliens…. they want to steal our sun…

CRAIG: Haha lmao imagine believing in aliens, couldn’t be me

JIMMY: Wh-wh-wh-what's that n-n-noise?

JIMMY: C-C–C–C–C-C-Craig…. Is th-the ac on?

CLYDE: TURN THE AC OFF YOU MONSTER!!

CLYDE: LEAVE US BE!!

CLYDE: WE WANTED TO BE FRIENDS BEFORE YOU TOLD US TO GO FUCK OURSELVES!

CLYDE: BUT NAY! NAY WE SAY! CLYDE: WE, THE HUMAN COUNCIL

TOLKIEN:...... What-

CLYDE: SAY GO FUCK YOURSELF

CLYDE: GOOD DAY SIR OR MA’AM CARTMAN: OR MX!

CLYDE: OR MIXTAPE

CRAIG: Lmao okay slay, ate, ate and left no crumbs. Not a single crumb inside, bro ate the plate too frfr

(EDITS MADE BY @Pissblanket)

#south park edits #southpark #south park #hellpark #underworld park #sp #craig tucker #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #craigfluencer

[bilolli]

Are you a computer nerd hyperfixating in graphic tablets problems? I NEED HELP

istg I'm gonna burn my pc and throw my graphic tabet out of the window, then I'm gonna find who the fuck programs windows updates and strangle them. I CAN'T USE MY TABLET ANYMORE AFTER THE UPDATE (AGAIN!)

Pen doesn't work, like, I'm not even talking about the pen pressure problem it had before (when I sent it to customer service and spent a whole lot of money just to have problems again after just 2 moths)! This time it doesn't even show up as a cursor. USB driver doesn't work, Windows problem solving tool doesn't solve shit ("you got this problem!" "yeah I know, fix it." "I don't know how! Would you like to rate this app-" "FUCK YOU") AND NOW WE'VE GOT ANOTHER PROBLEM! My pc screen resolution is 1900x1080 (like, you know, almost everything now) and my graphic tablet has the SAME RESOLUTION. SO EXPLAIN THIS TO ME:

why is it all squeezed like that!?!?!? Why is the resolution stuck on 1200x700 even though the screen is clearly bigger than that? It doesn't make sense????

I'm trying to downgrade my windows so I can see if windows upgrades are really the problem but they must be. Yesterday I was drawing and suddenly the tablet's driver stopped working. I restart the pc, windows decides it is a good time to fucking finish installing the upgrade and then the tablet stopped working defenitely.

I'm gonna have an aneurysm.

please if some of you uses huion tablet and had a similar problem please tell me how you solved it :C

#HATE HATE HATE #HUION I LOVE YOU BUT PLEASE KEEP UP WITH WINDOWS UPGRADES #AND WINDOWS STOP FUCKING FORCING UPDATES ON MY COMPUTER #vent #rambling

[angels-fics]

And A G E L F I C! ( thank u for the ask you’re amazing)

oh stawp it no you're amazing!!! mwah mwah

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

the royjamie brainrot is strong in me. royjamiekeeley too bc i, like jamie, would do anything a beautiful woman told me to do, even if that beautiful woman's advice led to public bdsm dynamics in the workplace. whatever you say queen 👸🏼

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

i'm ngl jack/keeley but that's mostly bc fanfic spoiled it for me??? also the other bad power dynamics in canon, michelle/jacob, rupert/rebecca, rupert/bex, rupert/ms. kakes (we get it you don't like rupert). i don't think i really have any ships that really ick me out that are supposed to be well-liked? i'm easily swayed bro

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

i don't add to fandoms. i lower the property value just by being here.

but honestly, i recently wrote and published an anonymous piece, which was received fairly well, i think. i'm not going to make it un-anonymous, but i was pretty surprised by the reception, and i'm happy about it.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

i think, technically, the star wars fandom, because i watched it with my parents when i was a child, and about a year and a half ago had a flare-up. wrote the most words i've ever written for any fandom for star wars ✊✊✊

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

i... don't know? like i first remember the term being used in, like, the marvel fandom (which i was never active in) and went down a rabbit hole. it was enlightening. but no, i don't think i've had an otp. there's certainly ships that i've liked, and sought out content for, but in the first fandom i was ever tangibly in, i didn't have an otp

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

i don't think so. i've lost interest in some fandoms that my mutuals still like, so i normally scroll past that content now, and those would be six of crows, star wars, and stranger things. i'm pretty sure it's gonna happen to ted lasso, too, but i think i've got some time yet!

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

oh boy, i've immediately decided to adopt every character as one of my faves. uhhhhh i guess i would have to go with... coach beard? i really enjoy how he's genuinely so weird, and not in a put-on, false way, just being who he is. i think his brief moments of lucidity, where he's very verbose in a way that is comprehensible to the other characters, hit so hard and are meaningful because they are few and far between. i like that he and ted are the two extremes of americanism, in my mind. i like that he uses the fact that other people don't know how to act around him to his advantage, and i try to apply that philosophy to some of my characters in original fiction as well as in my own life. i think it's a terrible shame that he sees jane as the only person who is unafraid to be as weird as him and feels obligated to stay with her because being understood is better than being unhurt and oh jesus christ i think beard is one of my faves now

#towe talks #asks #readwing #thank you! #ted lasso #coach beard #jane payne #anti jane payne #royjamie #royjamiekeeley

[mystech-master]

Death Battle Heroes Team Up

I and my friend have been talking about this idea for a while.

Imagine all of the heroes/anti-heroes that have shown up in Death Battle

The candidates for this team are anyone who can be considered a full-on hero (fight bad guys and save the world), or even an anti-hero (same but maybe with darker/more brutal methods/motivations, Red Hood, Venom became bros with Spidey later on IIRC, etc.), and they must have appeared on Death Battle, but I am willing to extend it to characters who have appeared in the animation but aren't the advertised combatants (Trish and Jeanne) or are basically confirmed (Ruby Rose and Maka Albarn + Soul Eater), just to add some variety to their franchise reps b/c DB has a shit load of Marvel and DC and many franchises have like 1-2 reps with many of them not even having their main character yet.

I imagine this crossover taking place in some weird nexus outside of space-time so we don't have to deal with the complete consequences of their settings crossing over as well as to explain how canonically dead characters are here too.

All Pokemon who appear in DB will just be a part of Red's collection. Charizard has the Mega Stone and we've seen that Mewtwo can Mega Evolve under his own power.

Imagine the chaos of having Tatsumaki, the Reds and Blues (Xeno Trunks would have an aneurysm after hearing about their time travel BS), 3 My Little Ponies, A couple of Shonen Dumbass protagonists, and more all working together.

Ben has pretty good samples of badass new DNA to scan for cool new transformations: Goku, Superman, Optimus Prime, and Glacius for example. I wonder if he would get Chozo DNA from scanning Samus?

Imagine all of the technology/science-based heroes all bringing their heads together to make something badass (Give Genos a freaking Upgrade so he isn't reduced to scraps in most of his fights).

Goku and Zoro now have plenty of new martial artists/swordsmen to learn and grow from. Yes, Goku is like 50 billion times Universal now and could wipe out all of them in one move, but he can still hold back against a weaker opponent if he thinks he can learn something new from them. Or at the very least he'd be happy to help other martial artists grow, like Ryu (Street Fighter, not Hayabusa), Po, Guy, and Lee.

We recently talked about the possibility that The Seven from The Boys, specifically Homelander, would try to muscle in and lead this team, saying that they are totally awesome heroes, but with Op people like Goku and Superman or the 4 super wizards (Fate, Zatanna, Strange, and Scarlet Witch) they are gonna be put in their place eventually.

The main problem with some of the options for heroes is that they are a bit too dark/brutal. Like we have Guts as a possible hero, but the world of Berserk is super hardcore compared to a lot of these franchises. It feels like if you have the setting or something from Berserk, someone would basically need to have all sorts of horrible shit happen to them (Killed, Eaten, that third thing that Boomstick mentioned in Guts vs Nightmare, or all 3 at once). The tonal clash really messes with this.

This is just a fun idea my friend and I have been talking about that I thought I'd share. It'd be interesting to see if anyone else has any interesting possible interactions between the heroes.

I'll try to list who I have as options (see after read more)

Starwars: Luke, Obi-Wan, Yoda

Metroid: Samus Aran

Street Fighter/Final Fight: Mike Haggar, Zangief, Chun-Li, Blanka, Ryu, Dan Hibiki, Cammy, Ken Masters

Mortal Kombat: Raiden, Scorpion, Sonya Blade, Sub-Zero, Johnny Cage

Marvel: Rogue, Thor, Spider-Man, Captain America, Deadpool, Iron Man, Beast, Wolverine, Hawkeye, Quicksilver, Hulk, Venom, Captain Marvel, Spider-Man 2099, Black Panther, Doctor Strange, Daredevil, Namor, Black Widow, Ghost Rider, Miles Morales, War Machine, Cable, Winter Soldier, Spider-Gwen, Iron Fist, Storm, Scarlet Witch, Magneto

DC: Wonder Woman, Batman, Superman, Green Arrow, Barry Alan, Batman Beyond, Raven, Doctor Fate, Nightwing, Aquaman, Shazam, Green Lantern, Static, Black Canary, Booster Gold, Wally West, Red Hood, Batgirl, Harley Quinn, Zatanna

Mario Bros: Yoshi, Mario, Peach, Luigi, Donkey Kong

TMNT (either the 2003 4Kids version or Rise): Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, Michelangelo

Battletoads: Zitz

Killer Instinct: Black Orchid, Fulgore (the version who is starting to gain Eagle's mind), Glacius, TJ Combo, Sabrewulf (if they can get him help w his Lycanthropy)

Darkstalkers: Felicia, Jon Talbain

Blazblue: Taokaka, Ragna the Bloodedge

God of War: Kratos

Spawn

Dragon Ball: Vegeta, Son Goku, Majin Buu, Hercule Satan, Android 18, Master Roshi, Beerus, Broly, Trunks (not Xeno version so he'll match and Xenoverse is its own complicated BS). Since Gogeta and Vegito are the same guys they'll just have a pair of Potara so other characters can fuse even though they lack DBZ powers

Sonic the Hedgehog: Shadow, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Silver (similar deal to Trunks)

Harry Potter

Fatal Fury: Mai Shiranui, Terry Bogard

Transformers: Optimus Prime

MLP: Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle

Halo/Red vs Blue (It's implied that they share a universe right?): Master Chief, Carolina, Sarge, Simmons, Griff, Donut, Lopez, Church, Tucker, Caboose, Tex (this one is subject to change with how they reference a lot of other media but it would mostly involve ignoring a joke or 3)

DOOM: Doomguy

Mega Man: Mega Man, Zero, Megaman X, Mega Man Trigger/Volnutt, Lan Hikari & MegaMan.EXE, Geo Stellar and Omega-Xis

Final Fantasy VII: Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart

Pokemon: Red (all pokemon are in his arsenal): Charizard, Blastoise, Venusaur, Pikachu, Mewtwo, Lucario, Machamp

He-Man and She-Ra

Thundercats: Lion-O

Ninja Gaiden: Ryu Hayabusa

Strider: Strider Hiryu

Fox MCloud, Bucky O'hare, Terminator, RoboCop, Godzilla (iteration where he is more of an ally), MechaGodzilla (with or without Akane), Gamera

Power Rangers: Tommy Oliver (Tigerzord and Dragonzord), Jason, Billy, Trini, Tack, Kimberly

Gundam: Zechs in the Epyon, Amuro in the RX-78-2

Kirby: Kirby, King Dedede

Guilty Gear: Sol Badguy

Naruto: Gaara, Naruto Uzumaki, Jiraiya, Sasuke Uchiha, Might Guy, Kakashi Hatake, Rock Lee

Avatar: Toph, Aang, Zuko, Korra

Guts, Goliath

Metal Gear, Solid Snake, Otacon (remember if they show up in the animation they count), Raiden

Splinter Cell: Sam Fisher, Grimm

RWBY: Yang, Weiss, Blake, you could possibly count Ruby since Ben Singer did say that that matchup WILL happen as it was Monty's Request

Astro Boy

Tai and Agumon, Renamon

Devil May Cry: Dante, Trish, Vergil

Bayonetta, Jeanne

Ratchet & Clank

Jak and Daxter

Tracer

One Piece: Zoro, Ace, Sanji

Fairy Tail: Erza, Natsu, Gray

Lara Croft, Nathan Drake, Scrooge McDuck (reboot version), Shovel Knight

Voltron: Keith, Lance, Hunk, Alura, Pidge

Ichigo Kurosaki

JJBA: Jotaro Kujo, Jonathan Joestar

Kenshiro, Crash Bandicoot + Aku Aku, Spyro the Dragon + Sparx

Sora, Donald, Goofy, and King Mickey

Pit, Leon Kennedy, Frank West (the last 2 were almost ignored but Marvel vs Capcom made me rethink it), Jin Kazama, Samurai Jack, Afro Samurai

MAYBE Lucy from Elfen Lied if some of the more paragon heroes manage to help get through to her, but she'd be a challenge

Ben Tennyson, Mitsuru Kirijo, Captain Falcon, Edward Elric, Hiei, Mob

One-Punch Man: Tatsumaki, Genos, Saitama

My Hero Academia: All Might, Shoto Todoroki, Deku

Danny Phantom, Jake Long

Like I said the Seven would try to join and take over but the super powerful characters can put them in their place: Homelander, Black Noir, Queen Maeve, A-Train, The Deep, and Starlight. Butcher might be brought in as well.

Soul Eater: Crona, and Maka + Soul Eater (similar logic to Ruby Rose up in the RWBy section)

Kill la Kill: Ryuko and Senketsu

Mikasa Ackerman, Po, Steven Universe, Star Butterfly, Alucard (the 4 super wizards putting a leash on him, some of the heroes' honorable nature, and DIO + Dracula being evil vampires might allow him to play nice for a time), Tanjiro and Nezuko Kamado, Omni-Man, Excalibur

Bond and Wick are a bit too down to Earth to fit among all this fiction so either they'd be cut or they'd have to be handled very carefully

Spongebob and Asta

That is the total list of heroes that we've considered for this crossover.

#death battle #crossover

[incandescent-irrigation]

this is gonna sound like the most tumblr story possible but i PROMISE you it happened, ask my gf and she will corroborate it.

so my extended family visited my hometown while i also happened to be visiting. theyve got 3 kids, but only the youngest one came with them. she is 10 years old. now ive been with my gf for years at this point, so shes known the kid for the majority of those 10 years. the kid has always been enamored with my gf bcs shes an adult that 1. looks very young 2. does not speak any of the languages that the child knows 3. gets to be on her phone most of the time and other adults dont mind it (language difference). ngl my gf finds it both endearing and somewhat of a nuisance since the kid has way too much energy.

we havent seen her for a while, so we were surprised to find out that she 1. speaks decent english, her now third language, 2. watches ghost hunts on yt without subtitles or anything, 3. uses discord (concerning) (saw her use it on her phone) 4. knows what danganronpa is (very concerning) (saw her lockscreen, which is chiaki)

as a responsible adult, it did cross my mind that i should tell her mom shes into shit made for Older Kids at best, but then i remembered her parents are famously shit with technology (addicted to apple products, do not know what airdropping is) and her older brothers were also allowed to be into age inappropriate shit (one of them pestered me for the title of battle royale bcs he saw a few scenes from it, back when he was like 9) so i do not think tattling on her would change much. instead i decided to strike up a conversation and gently express that she at least should try not to interact with adults on the internet.

kids latch onto subjects when they realize an adult is actually understanding what theyre saying. which is to say "oh you like danganronpa?" was NOT the best start of the conversation.

below is a list of quotes from her in chronological order, from a conversation that gave me at least five aneurysms at once:

"oh so you ARE a komaeda kinnie" (i am not)

"you guys are just like komahina"

"hmmmm i dunno i like danganronpa, omori, nothing else right now?"

"would you take a quiz to see if you're a Real komaeda kinnie?" (again, i am not)

"are you a homosexual?" (followed by me and my gf going "what gave you that idea?" in unison)

"yeah you are like the definition of a homosexual"

"the submarine thing would've been so much funnier if mr beast was in there"

"if i could hack mall speakers i would play c-" ("do not. finish that sentence kiddo")

"why do you smoke that?" (a vape) ("it's strawberry flavored" "oh cool. can i have some?" "abSOLUTELY NOT", again in unison)

"okay but if not komaeda, who would you be kinning?"

#for the record every time the conversation veered off child safe subjects #i would cut it

[zumpietoo]

GG/Jizzystans Pressed X2!

I do love how

A) Racist continues to not know correct terminology for accounts/activity on tumblr....

B) Again, do NOT attempt to depict yourselves as the rational, reasoned ones after #hey#3/Tabi’s gonna cuck Jug with the ASL teacher (but he won’t know cuz deaf dude)/Tabi ded/omg!!! Cole answered an inappropriate fangurl, this means all jizzy, all the time!!!! (while ignoring how he proceeded to then shut it down, completely in his next breath).....

C) Also, no, y’all chose to fully ignore it. Oh and your kween IS totes trolling Barfie/BAV...

See above, plus, again, they’ve been a LOT closer to right than YOU have for now over 3 seasons.....and, again, I predict BAVR quad, anyway.....

Again, see above.....all of it!

Again, sure are talking a lot about it, huh? And see above......

If anybody’s gonna “die of aneurysm”, it’ll be you assholes.....or will you still be insisting, since it ends BAV triangle, that means Jizzy was endgame, anyway?

A) Chef’s kiss, needs to be retired (actually thought it was???), cuz really cringe and ded, now....

B) why is it only ever used by the biggest, most uncreative assholes beknownst to man, on either side of fandumb?

C) Izzy, you, of all peeps, should know the “breakdown” is gonna be from jizzystans....

D) dude, yes, BAV(R) tri/quadrangle IS confirmed, so yes, there WILL be “going on a date”.....and, again, you won’t be getting what YOU remotely want, either....

E) YOU’RE, again, the ones who have been wrong about everything for multiple seasons, now....why so overconfident?

[fba-art]

I WASN’T HERE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY BUT LEST I FORGET TO LOVE ON ALL OF WALLY’S BAES AND GAYS ♥

BIG SHOUTOUT TO SOME OF MY FAVES, AS WELL AS MY LONG-TIME / MOST-INVOLVED SHIP PARTNERS:

@fortunatenax @wendyalice @bewitchedluck @lucklessprincess @gctjinxd

@darkmeditation @thedarkempath @eigona

@asterbatics @determinedleader

@wendyalice ( is it gonna let me tag u twice?? ) @aranece @arachnuwu

@atlantiantitan @archeroftheeast @intratempestuous @smolgreenboi @blackfiire @magnetisedmagenta

I LOVE YOU GUYS SFM AND I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW LONG SOME OF YOU HAVE PUT UP WITH ME AND WALLY FOR, BUT GOT DAMN IS IT ALWAYS A GRAND OL’ TIME WITH YOU FELLAS. ♥♥♥

( and holy smokes, if i missed some of my partners / duplicates lmk, you know i’mma draw you somethin all for you ♥ )

#fba art #IM NOT EVEN GONNA BOTHER TAGGIN U ALL IN HERE SORRY #I'M SICK RN BUT MISSING CLASS MEANS I HAVE TIME TO DRAW?? #wally doodles #honestly this started out w just drawing all my fave jinx'es b/c wally'll think about HER and have a mini aneurysm and imagine: MULTIPLE HER #flinx #birdflash #spiderlightning #kfrae

[thegn0mel0rd]

Dbekdjdnfnfjfifofifjdnfjfjfkvvofjejejdjf

#hi guys i apparently have a crush #i'm d y i n g #i. i know my sexuality now #i'm a c e #i'mmmmmm gonna have an aneurysm #gfgf hdhfhdhdhfhdhdjsidhfhfhdoxngbrkwoxjtbtjgoche

[arialis]

it’s been e i g h t y e a r s and i’m still really upset these two aren’t friends

#oh my god this takes me backkkkkkkkkk #GET ALONG ALREADY I'M GONNA BE DEAD BY THE TIME YOU GET OVER YOURSELF #i'm like that lady from the titanic movie #'it's been so many years' #i've never actually seen titanic idk what happens #just the gif #and apparently everyone's really angry about a door for some reason idk #kona's howls #i'm so tired and old #i'm so much older than these two now i've literally shot up past them b/c it's manga #and they're forever young #eughhhhhhhhhhh #this is like the show that shall not be named #tho not as bad thankfully b/c if i had two things like that #i might just go insane or have an aneurysm

[fieldsofbone]

i am CONSTANTLY making the most niche and obscure references in conversation with conner and he either immediately identifies the source, finishes the quote/reference, or offers one of his own and i’m always like about to die

#he literally looks at me like the star eyes emoji #the other day there was a kid with spiky blonde hair and glasses and conner and i were watching him #and i said he reminded me of somebody but i couldn’t think of it #and he went ‘is it the kid from stuart little?’ and that was EXACTLY who i was thinking of sjcjdjs #that’s not particularly niche but he’s so quick and we’re like. always on the same page idk #one of our first conversations was about our shared love of archer and we talked about the episode where archer says his three biggest fears #are alligators crocodiles and brain aneurysms #and last week i said something like ‘i almost had an aneurysm trying to say that’ re: something stupid we were talking about and he went #‘that’s the third biggest fear!’ like without skipping a BEAT #is he the dream boy i concocted for myself years ago based on the good qualities of men i like or have dated previously? no #is he a dream boy for all the reasons he differs from the aforementioned dudes as well as an endless bounty of his own wonderful qualities? #YES #i’m gonna delete this tomorrow when i inevitably wake up and check my notifs and feel a surge of embarrassment over this #but tonight i gush #c

[mrs-emma-swan-jones]

Anyway, the Timeless fandom is fucking trash and I’m hella glad this show is ending so I don’t have to put up with this bullshit anymore.

#jesus h. christ #ya'll need to find your chill #flynn and lucy were in barely a second of that video #ya'll know flynn is gonna die right?? #you know that?? #right?? #b/c if you did maybe you wouldn't have a fucking aneurysm every time someone mentioned garcy #ya'll are worse than the ouat fandom smh

[geekout-f-t-w]

What the hell guys?

No seriously what the hell?!?

When did cockles fandom turn into the j2 hats? You know, the ones you make fun of b/c they’re so deluded and they cross boundaries with the guys all the time?

Yeah, look in the mirror.

I am a cockles shipper and I tinhat and squee as much as the next person but taking this stuff into Misha’s mentions? Texting the app he (sometimes) reads? Taking an innocuous statement and deciding to just dump “”affirmations”” of cockles all over the fucking place like you’re talking about fictional characters and not TWO REAL PEOPLE?!?!

There are boundaries to rpf, number one being you don’t take it to them. That’s been stomped all over the past few days.

Another one is remember that you’re only parasocializing with them, that you don’t know them or what they think or who they’re with or how they feel and you sure as fuck don’t know anything for sure about their “relationship”.

Literally everything that people spread around as “”cockles canon”” (which is gross as it is b/c real individual people CANT BE CANON) is all circumstantial at best and literally doesn’t prove anything romantic is happening. At all.

So congratulations new cockles fans, you’re taking a fandom space that was fun and protected and quiet out of respect for the people involved and turning it into toxic j2 shippers part 2.

And before you do don’t come at me like I’m trying to “police” how ppl ship because yeah, I am, I am trying to make y’all see that bringing this to either Jensen or misha is creepy and entitled. They’re not doing any of this “for us” so get off that high horse.

Before you come at me for being a hypocrite b/c I ship cockles- I do ship them and I don’t have a problem with rpf UNTIL it’s brought to the actors, or until people start to feel entitled to that actor’s private life to find proof of their ship. That’s when it’s not ok, and why I don’t mind admitting I ship it b/c I am fully aware that it’s all in fun and is pure speculation and not FACT.

I’m gonna log off before I have an aneurysm or something.

#I am tired #spn wank #spn salt #cockles #stop being entitled brats #you don’t know them #you don’t have facts #you have speculation dressed up in confirmation bias #leave the shipping to dms and vagueing on main and STOP sending it to Misha/Jensen

[princessmisery666]

Disclosure

Summary: How did Rick end up locked in a closet handcuffed to Rylee? How did the simple recon mission take a nosedive off a cliff?

TRIGGER WARNING: sexual assault described, thoughts and feelings surrounding the assault discussed. I am not glorifying/romanticizing sexual assault; the events described are from life experience.

Warnings: canon type injuries, field triage, sexual assault described, bullying described, frenemies to lovers.

W/C: 3.9k

Rating: E (explicit - 18+) - simply for the described sexual assault.

Characters: Rick Flag, OFC. Small Part: Harley Quinn

Pairing: Rick Flag x OFC.

Notes: I came across this Dialogue Prompts List by @skriveting, and some of them were pure gold, and this fic kinda wrote itself. I used 20 of the prompts and adjusted a few to make them fit.

Betas: @deanwinchesterswitch // @cockslut-padalecki - all mistakes belong to me.

Graphics: pics found on google, dividers by me.

Master Lists: Main // DC

Disclosure

“What’s going on?” Rick asked, coming to. His mind was foggy, and his body ached from the earlier fight. The cold seeped through his thin suit pants from the concrete beneath him. He didn’t know where he was, but he did know he’d be sore tomorrow. Slowly, his eyes adjusted to the musty-smelling room, which consisted of metal shelving that held nothing much but dust, filling three walls and the door.

“Be quiet,” Rylee answered, panting for breath. Without seeing her, he knew she’d rolled her eyes closed in the way he was sure would give her an Aneurysm one day.

“Why?”

“I’m grieving.”

“Grieving what?”

“My dignity.” She sighed, and Rick felt her weight droop against his back. She hissed, and through gritted teeth, she said, “I need your help.”

“No shit!” He scoffed. She had always been so bloody dramatic, but today took the fucking cake. “What the hell was that out there? We’re supposed to be low-key. Stealth operations mean anything to you?”

“I was at the debriefing; I have some idea.”

“Apparently not.”

Her fingers brushed his hand, but she wasn’t seeking them; she was picking the lock of the cuffs that tethered them together behind their backs. “Keep talking, Flag, and maybe one day you’ll blurt out something intelligent.”

“Here’s something intelligent,” he growled, “you’re a liability.“

He should have fought Waller harder. He knew Rylee wasn’t ready. Clearly, whatever had been going on with her lately wasn’t resolved, and she shouldn’t have been in the field. She’d been so hot and cold recently Rick never knew if he was going to need board shorts or a parka. Rylee hadn’t aired her misgivings about being on a mission with him. That alone should have been enough for him to know something was wrong. Amanda had always had to play referee between the two of them, forcing one or both of them to back down with the threat of discipline if they couldn’t find a way to work together. It wasn’t that they disliked each other, the opposite actually, but they were constantly pushing for control. Neither of them was willing to give it up without a fight. But this time, Rylee waited until Waller left the room, and then all she’d done was throw him a dirty look across the table.

“Look, I’m not any more thrilled about this than you are,” Rick said, “but can we pretend to like each other for one night?”

He did like her, so much so he’d asked her on a date the month before. To his delight, she had accepted but canceled at the last minute without explanation. Since then, she acted as if he were her sworn nemesis.

“All right, fine,” she sneered. “But just know that I’ll be wanting to throw up the whole time.”

“Likewise.”

She usually had more than a childish retort for him. That was sufficient evidence, evidence he’d missed, to tell him she was off her game.

“I’m the liability?” she yelled. “You’re the one who cuffed us together!”

“To make you stop whatever fucking crusade you were on that was gonna get us both killed!”

“Yeah, well, one of us still might die.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, taking it as an idle threat but a threat nonetheless.

“Shut up. I’m trying to concentrate.” She tugged the cuffs, and it cut into his wrist.

“How did we end up here?”

“Harley! After you cuffed us, she decided we could use a time out; said we were gonna fuck up the operation if we kept yelling at each other. So she double cuffed us, and next thing I know, I woke up stuck to you!”

Rick wouldn’t accept the blame in her tone. “This one’s on you.” The cuffs released, and the metal bracelet fell away. He rubbed his wrists, continuing his remark, “If anyone were ever to write a biography about you, it’d be called The Life of a Dumbass. And situations like this are the exact reason why!”

He turned to look at her, ready to rip her to shreds about protocols and following his lead as her superior, but she was slowly dragging herself away. Her sluggish movement and lack of snarky response fizzled fear in his gut. Then he saw the smear of blood that followed her. She reached the wall and turned to rest her back against it. Crimson painted her lower stomach and soaked the top of her pants.

He met her eyes, and she smiled mirthlessly. “It’s not a big deal,” she winced, applying pressure now that her hands were free. “Don’t worry about it.”

Oh, this was the moment she chose not to be dramatic. Great. Just fucking great.

“You’re literally bleeding out!”

“It’s fine-”

“No, it’s not,” he exclaimed, quickly crawling toward her. He took off his jacket and rolled it up as a makeshift pillow before he lowered her to lie flat.

She grimaced and held her breath as she adjusted herself against the cold floor. “Like I said, I need your help. You’re gonna need to cauterize it. You got your lighter?”

He pursed his lips but nodded. “Fuck.” He jumped to his feet and checked the door, locked. Pointlessly, he kicked at it to alleviate some of his aggravation. He searched the room, looking high and low on the shelves. He needed something metal to heat up. Rick grumbled, “we’re stuck in here, and you’re bleeding out!”

“I don’t know. It could be worse,” Rylee said, in between heavy breaths.

Oh, she was optimistic now. That was new. God, she infuriated him. If she didn’t die in here, he would have her ass on the chopping block for fucking up so bad.

“But it could definitely be a whole lot better too,” Rick countered.

“You have a point there.”

“Wait,” he said, pausing his search to look at her over his shoulder. “Did you just agree with me?”

“Blood loss,” she suggested, “won’t happen again.”

Rick’s search was fruitless; they were in a supply closet with no supplies. Paper towels that looked like they’d crumble as soon as he touched them and cleaning products that had a thick layer of dust on them.

“The cuffs,” she told him, “it’s all we got.”

He dropped to his knees at her side. “Let me take a look.” he hoped it wasn’t as bad as the blood suggested as he peeled back her shirt. A two-inch-long wound blemished her stomach, just above her left hip bone. There was no telling how deep the knife had gone. “The team will be back for us soon,” he said, assuringly but couldn’t be certain if it were more for himself or to comfort her. He grabbed the cuffs and fished the lighter from his pocket. “They’ll get us out. You just need to hold on till then.”

“Wait, are you worried about me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I just don’t want to have to deal with your corpse. Too much paperwork,” he said, heating the metal.

She chuckled at that. Whatever humor she found in the situation was lost on Rick. “Now I kinda wanna die just for you to have to do extra paperwork.”

“Live for me instead. Think of how much more you can annoy me when you’re breathing.” The silver metal glowed red. He wasn’t ready to do this, so he stalled, “Harley would kill me if you died on my watch. So please don’t.”

“Are you scared of ol’ Harley Quinn?”

“Yes, absolutely,” he said. “So, helping you is purely selfish self-preservation.”

There was no point in a countdown. It would hurt whether he did it immediately or on the count of three. He ripped his tie off and unceremoniously stuffed it in her mouth. She grumbled around it, shooting him an incredulous look, but it was short-lived as in the same instant he pressed the heated metal to her skin. She cried out, and he heard how the compressed scream scratched her throat. She coughed and choked but bit down on the silk in her mouth. Her skin sizzled, and Rick had to shut his eyes, unwilling to watch her in such excruciating pain.

After what felt like a lifetime, he felt her relax under the pressure of his hand, and he risked taking a peek at her. Her eyelids drooped. “No, no, Rylee,” he said, tapping the side of her cheek. “Don’t pass out on me. You gotta stay awake.”

She struggled, eyes fluttering closed with relief when he removed the metal from her burnt flesh, but she fought the fatigue, spitting his tie out of her mouth. “You forget how to count or something?” she asked, punching out at his arm. She had so little strength left, he barely felt it and didn’t bother moving out of range. “Asshole!”

“Sorry,” he shrugged.

He waited for her breathing to return to normal and made sure no more blood leaked from the seared wound before he continued his search of the room, looking for a way out. When it was finally clear there was none, he ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the short strands as frustration threatened to make him howl.

She watched him from her position on the floor, pale skin glistening with sweat, and he worried she was going into shock. But she smiled softly, “Don’t worry, Flag. Everything is going as planned.”

“That’s because you have no plan.”

“Exactly!”

Frustratingly he growled, but it was infused with worry. This was not how the night was supposed to go. A fake date, a few drinks, a nice dinner - at the expense of the tax-paying Americans - and Rylee ‘accidentally’ falling drunkenly against the target to plant a tracker. The Suicide Squad would follow him, wait for him to be in a less populated area, and take him down. Simple. Easy. A fucking cakewalk, with literal cake. Until Rylee had gone and lost her shit over seemingly nothing.

“What happened out there?” he asked.

Her contemplative expression met his eyes, and for a moment, Rick thought she was finally going to open up, tell him what the fuck had been going on lately. Instead, she dropped her gaze and shut him down with a curt, “Nothing.”

“According to my sources, that’s a load of bullshit.”

“What sources?”

“How about my common sense?” He cocked his brow, challenging her to disagree, but she gave him nothing. “I know you like to act like you got nine lives, but you're never normally reckless.”

“First time for everything, right?” she said and struggled to sit up. Though she panted and winced through the pain, she was still stubborn enough to bat Rick’s hand away when he tried to help her.

He watched her drag herself to rest against the wall, shaking his head; she was vexing. She made him feel like his head was exploding. “Here are my final thoughts: You are stupid, and this plan was dumb.”

“So you admit I had a plan?”

“Changing the subject or trying to joke your way out of this isn’t going to get me to back down. So I wish you’d stop trying.”

“And I wish you’d stop being so annoying. Guess neither of us is getting what we want anytime soon, huh?”

“Rylee,” he warned, “don’t make me pull rank.”

Her lips set in a tight line, and her nostrils flared as she heaved deep breaths. “Why are you so annoying?” she sneered.

“Why are you so mad about it?” he asked. “Something’s going on, something has been going on, so what is it?”

“Please, Rick, just leave it alone.”

He strode over to her with purpose and lowered himself to sit beside her. He rested his head on the wall behind him, blasting out a sigh at the ceiling. “I know annoying each other is one of our favorite past times, but I’ve gotta be honest,” he smiled slyly, “lately, you’ve been lacking in the annoying column,” he said, waiting for her to comment, but she remained silent.

Quiet shrouded them for a long moment. Rick chanced side glances at her, only to make sure she hadn’t fallen asleep.

He needed a new strategy, a softer, kinder approach, to let go of the rejection he felt. He nudged his shoulder gently against hers, “You’ve already lost your dignity and asked me for help,” Rick joked, “so might as well let me help some more.”

She turned to look at him, and he held her gaze, sincerity, and willingness softening his features. “Talk to me, please,” he begged.

“A few months ago, I was,�� she paused, picking her next word carefully. “Attacked.”

Attacked. He knew exactly what she meant before she continued, and he had to look away from her to bite his tongue to keep from unleashing an explosion of seething words.

“I was happy, carefree; the sun was shining. Life was sweet. I was walking back to my car, not paying attention. I’d had a good day, y’know. I’d caught up with a couple of friends, did some shopping, and I was headed home to get ready for a date.”

“Shit,” he groaned, knowing precisely what day she was talking about. “That’s why you canceled on me.” Finally, he understood her hot and cold moods toward him. With the enlightenment that information brought also came the anguish of knowledge. “What happened?” he asked, though he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“He came out of nowhere, knocked me on my ass before I knew what was happening. I fought back,” she said, eyes clouding with tears. “Until he pulled a knife, put it to my throat. I…um…I froze. My mind went blank, just this one voice screaming at me to survive, whatever it took.” Rick wanted to reach out and take her hand, but he wasn’t sure that was what she wanted or needed. “Apparently, survival meant compliance, so I kept still, stopped fighting. He didn’t get far, ripped my shirt, groped me a little, and he got my pants open. But then there were voices, people approaching, and he ran.”

“Rylee, I…”

“Don’t apologize. Please,” she said, “don’t pity me. I don’t feel sorry for myself, and you shouldn’t either. I’m angry! How dare someone have the audacity to think they can just take whatever they want. How dare he make me feel so, so, fucking helpless and weak!” she huffed a breath, swallowed an outraged growl.

Her tears slipped down her cheeks, and Rick couldn’t help himself; the instinct to comfort her was overwhelming. He caught hold of her hand, ignoring the stickiness of dried blood, and dragged it into his lap, squeezing as tight as he dared. To his surprise, she squeezed back, both their knuckles turning white.

“If you asked me to describe him, I wouldn’t be able to,” Rylee continued, “but I heard him tonight.”

“Then he saw you,” Rick concluded, remembering the deer in headlights look that froze one of their target goons to his spot.

Rylee nodded. “He saw me, and I saw red. I went after him, you came after me, and all hell broke loose. I got stabbed, I don’t even know how that happened, and now we’re stuck in here. There, all caught up.”

“You did nothing wrong, Rylee,” Rick implored, knowing she wouldn’t believe it. “Not today or when you say you stopped fighting.”

She sniffed back tears. “Please don’t tell me I did the right thing. If those people hadn’t come along,” she shuddered, unable to finish the thought. “I should’ve done more or not given in so easily.”

“You can disagree all you want, but that doesn’t make me any less right,” he said, “survival was your goal, and you accomplished that.”

A sob choked her and Rick scooted closer, putting his arm around her to tuck her into the shelter of his shoulder. He let her cry for a long moment, let her get out the emotions she had clearly been clinging to.

“Have I ever told you why I became a soldier?” he asked, he felt her shake her head, but she wasn’t yet able to speak. “I got bullied in high school. At first, I fought back, struggled as much as I could, shouted for help, kicked up a storm till they left me alone or someone intervened,” he explained, and felt her vibrating sobs subside. “It just made them come after me more, so I stopped fighting back. I gave up. Let them do whatever they wanted to do to me, and believe me, it was bad. Really bad. They’d leave me alone for weeks, and I’d think they were finally bored of it, but then they’d appear when I was walking home or were waiting outside my house on the weekend. They taunted me mentally and physically. I ended up in the hospital a couple times, and of course, I lied to everyone about it. I needed a way out, so I studied my ass off and graduated top of my class a year early so I could escape them. I kept my head down and did what I had to do just to survive one more day.”

She took a shuddered breath, and he heard the jesting smile in her voice, “This isn’t a competition, you know.”

Rick tutted, a grin of his own breaking out, “Spoken like a true loser.”

She jabbed him in the ribs. “What’s your point?”

“My point is, we’re not victims. We’re survivors. Okay, you’ve been a little distant lately, a little too quick to anger, but it means you're processing; you’re not shutting it out. Deal with it however you need to. Just don’t bottle it up.”

She whispered, “I won’t.” and he heard the struggle for her to stay awake.

“You can’t go to sleep,” he panicked.

“There you go again,” Rylee teased, “making me think you actually care about me.”

“I already told you, I’m just scared of Harley’s wrath. You’re her favorite ‘good guy’,” he mimicked Harley’s accent.

“Oh, please,” she scoffed, but she sounded a little drunk. “You and I both know the truth. You’re just too much of a coward to admit it.”

“I’m not a coward,” he refuted, “I’m just afraid you’d cut my balls off if I did admit it.”

Slowly her head raised to look him in the eye, and his stomach dropped to his feet. She was so pale and looked so tired. He cupped her cheek; her clammy skin formed a barrier under his palm.

Her pupils constricted and widened again as if he were out of focus. “Rick,” she whispered.

Her eyes moved from his to his lips and back again, and he did the same, trading lonely glances. The Devil, riding in the backseat of his mind, called out desperately to taste her, to see if it would help him figure out her motives. Was it Rick she wanted or just something real after someone had tried taking it from her?

He wasn’t sure what was happening, but she was getting closer, and then the click of the lock disengaging echoed around the room, and they both pulled apart.

Rick scrambled to his feet, took a step to stand in front of her, and waited for the door to open. Nothing.

He waited another minute and then inched closer to the door.

“Careful!” Rylee whisper-hissed.

“I’m always careful.”

“That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard.”

“Rylee, is that you?” Harley called from beyond the closed door.

“Harley, yes, it’s us.”

“Oh, thank gawd,” the blonde said, as the door pulled open, “this is like the tenth closet we’ve checked. All these corridors look the same!”

Rick knocked gently on the door and waited. There was no response. Maybe she was sleeping. He should leave her alone, let her rest, but he needed to check on her for his own sanity. He knocked again, easing the door open a crack to peek inside.

“Hey,” Rylee said, groggy with sleep as she pulled herself to a sitting position.

He gave her a small smile and took the greeting as an invitation, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

She frowned when she met his eyes again. “Something wrong?” she asked, “Waller came by for my reports earlier. Did I miss something?”

“No, no, it’s all good,” he said, hovering by the door, hands shoved into his pockets. Typical Rylee; laid up in a hospital bed, and of course, she was still all about business.

“So why’re you here?”

“I…um… I just wanted to check on you.” He sounded as awkward as he felt. “See how you’re doing?”

He was treading on dangerous ground. They weren’t exactly friends, a little less than enemies. But not by his doing, Rylee had shut him out. Her smile was jesting, and her eyes shone with mischief. “And here I was thinking you only cared about me for your own selfish self-preservation.”

He rolled his eyes as he pulled a chair up to the side of her bed, smirking, “Only you would be stupid enough to think that.”

She shied away from his gaze, looking down at her hands in her lap. “Don’t worry, Flag. Doc says I’m out of the woods. Harley has no reason to kill you,” she smiled ruefully. “Thank you for today. For having my back when you had no idea what I was running into, and for your medical skills. I’m forever in your debt, my friend.”

Ouch. She’d never called him a friend before, and it stung more than he liked. Then again, she’d never thanked him either. They’d shared a moment back in the closet, but it seemed that’s where she wanted it to remain. “Just buy me a burger, and we’ll call it even, okay?”

“As soon as I’m on my feet, I’ll buy you all the burgers you can eat,” she confirmed.

He was back on that dangerous ground again, but he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. “It’s a date.”

“A date?”

“Yeah, y’know, a date,” he explained, “that thing two people that like each other go on to get to know each other a little better, enjoy each other’s company, spend time together.”

She laughed, but her grin was happy, relieved almost. “Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?”

“Not until four,” he said, rising off his chair to place a kiss on her cheek.

She grabbed the collar of his shirt as he started backing away, holding him in place. “That's all you got for me?” she asked, smirking, “I almost died, Flag.”

Rick scoffed, rolling his eyes. The drama queen was back. “Always so dramatic.”

She shrugged. “What’s a girl gotta do to get a real kiss?”

He smiled, bright and wide, his stomach doing somersaults. “She’s just gotta ask.”

“I swear if you don’t, I will tell Harley you were the one…”

Rick cut off the threat with his lips pressed against hers, and he felt her hold her breath. He gave her a second, and when she didn’t relax, he tried again to retreat, but she tugged on his collar, keeping him close. She teased his mouth open, and when their tongues met, they simultaneously moaned. It had been a long time coming, and Rick berated himself for not making a move sooner. For maybe the first time since they’d met, they weren’t at loggerheads, battling for control. He could taste her motives, and for once, they were aligned with his.

End.

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