Tumgik
#c :: nick fury
squids-comics · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
Yeah this seems like a useful spy gadget, a shirt that explodes when exposed to even the smallest flame. I'm sure nothing bad could possibly happen if you give this shirt to Nick Fury (a notorious chain smoker).
79 notes · View notes
murder-popsicle · 1 year
Text
@bokketo (Nick Fury)
Tumblr media
"So, Nat tells me this is more SHIELD's wheelhouse than it is Avengers business," Bucky said, sitting down at the table across from her new boss. As she spoke, she set down a stack of files three inches thick, as well as her tablet. If there was one thing she'd learned in her four months of working for Nick Fury, it was that it was best to have all your intel at hand when you went to propose a course of action to him.
She opened the top file, pulled out the top two sheets of paper, and passed them to Fury. "I did an unofficial briefing for you," she said. "This is Project Zephyr, an old KGB operation. Long story short, me and Nat've been lookin' for these guys for about eight months, and we've hit nothin' but dead end after dead end. Maybe somebody else would think it's time to give up, but I don't think so. If the three of 'em are still out there somewhere, they are a threat and we need to find 'em. I trained 'em myself. Each one individually is almost as good as me, and not to brag, but I'm one of the best. The three of 'em workin' together would be pretty damn formidable. So me and Nat agreed, we need more'n just the two of us at this point if we plan to find and neutralize these guys. Whaddaya say?"
3 notes · View notes
natashaslesbian · 3 months
Text
We Saved Each Other (Part Five)
Tumblr media
Summary: you’re continuing to grow everyday with Natasha, facing all kinds of challenges both new and old
Word Count: 4.1k
Parings: (Natasha Romanoff x Kid!Reader) (Maria, Clint and Fury appear)
Warnings: Red room references, abusive father references, nightmares, shouting, crying, but the fluffiest ending
————
Natasha was amazed at your progress. It had been a long 2 months but you were continuing to grow every day. You were starting to get more comfortable around the avengers but there was still some bonding to be done and many more mountains to be climbed.
-5 weeks at S.H.I.E.L.D-
“So” Fury said as he settled into his chair “how are the two of you settling in?” The director asked. Natasha glanced over to you through the glass, you were always scared when you couldn’t see her and truth being told Nat didn’t ever want to let you out of her sight either “we’re okay” she said “ok, and the truth?” Nick smirked “it’s been hard I guess” the widow wasn’t yet used to allowing her emotions to show “she doesn’t know any different” Natasha said, eyes still glued to you “we don’t know any different” she corrected.
“Woah y/n look at this one!” Maria said as reached right to the bottom of the box of brand new toys Clint had sent for you “what is it?” You asked as you waddled over “it’s a doll house” Maria said “do you wanna open it up and put it together?” Your eyes lit up, you had never had your own doll house “yes please” you said. It was a challenge for Maria, this whole situation was. The agent had her walls built so high and watching over you, playing with you, it brought a lot of memories back for her. “What are you going to name this one?” Maria said as she passed you the brand new doll “I can name it anything?” You asked “of course” Maria said.
“We can’t keep her here without a guardian much longer Romanoff” Nick coughed “what does that mean? Where are you gonna send her?” The panic ran up through Natasha’s spine “we don’t want to send her anywhere, but she needs a guardian” Nats blood settled again “are you asking me to do that?” She asked “I’m not asking you to do anything, in all honesty you can’t, you haven’t been a US citizen long enough” Nick said “you need to have been here at least 12 months” Natasha sighed “that’s another 2 months away” the red head said. She would be damed if these people just shipped you off somewhere new “why can’t she just stay here until I can be her guardian” Natasha asked “I didn’t know that’s what you wanted” Nick said, falling back into his chair. Shit. She was letting her guard down again, letting some stranger see her emotions “well I don’t want her just thrown into the care of someone else” the widow said “we can take care of her, I can take care of her. Please Fury, let me help her”
“Hey y/n” Nat said as she opened the door “you wanna get some lunch?” She asked, you shrunk into yourself again, still wanting to play but not wanting to get into trouble “okay” you nodded your head. Natasha picked up on your discomfort “would you like to stay and play a bit longer?” The red head asked “yes please” you timidly said. Maria said her goodbyes and Natasha came to join you on the carpet “what’s your dolly’s name?” She asked, your cheeks grew a certain red and you giggled “Natasha” you smiled “you named her Natasha? After me?” The agent asked “yeah” you shyly said “why did you do that?” Nat asked again “because you’re my best friend” you smiled up with your y/e/c “you’re my best friend too y/n” Natasha said, feeling her heart open more than it ever had.
-6 weeks at S.H.I.E.L.D-
You were so exhausted. Each time you slept your mind was plagued with demons, running around and throwing very bad memory into your consciousness. Right now was no different .“Y/n?” Natasha cooed “you’re okay y/n, wake up for me sweetheart” she pleaded. You had finally settled at 6am after a night of tears and no sleep. It was 8:30 now, things were going so well, Natasha was thrilled that you were getting some rest at last. “Y/n sweetheart, it’s Natty can you hear me?” She asked. You could hear her calling you but she was too far away, your father dragging you even further and pushing you into the arms of a strange man. Natasha cradled you in her lap, wiling you to wake through her thoughts “I’ve got you darling. It’s okay you’re safe” she continued to say.
Finally the darkness had gone and the overhead light stung your eyes slightly as you rolled away from it, further into Nat’s grip “Natty” you cried out “I’m here baby, I’m here” she said as she gently stoked your hair behind your ear “d- Dreykov” you whispered “its alright y/n. I won’t let him hurt you, he can’t get to you okay” Natasha said to you, and herself. “Do you want sprinkles?” Natasha asked, you nodded your head at the mention of your beloved stuffed bunny. The widow had bought if for you after your first nightmare, she had always wanted a stuffy and she was honoured to gift your first ever one to you.
You wrapped Sprinkles arms around your own while Natasha tucked you back into the soft sheets. “Get some sleep okay sweetheart” she said, bringing her hand back to your forehead, trailing her fingertips across your hair line “okay” you yawned “Natty?” You peered up at her “yeah?” She said as she sat on the plush mattress next to you. “can you sing me a song?” You asked “a song?” Nat asked in return, slightly terrified at the prospect of singing “yeah” you said sleepily “daddy used to sing me lullabies. Be-before he turned scary” you frowned and Natasha lent down to leave a kiss on your forehead, the action taking both of you by surprise “what did daddy used to sing for you?” The widow asked. You hummed in thought for a moment “I don’t remember” you said “how about I sing you one that my mommy used to sing to me?” Natasha smiled at the brief memory “where is your mommy?” You questioned as you rubbed your sore eyes “I don’t know, I haven’t seen her in 15 years” Nat believed Melina had died many years ago but she didn’t want to put that in your head “that’s a long time” you said “it is” Nat nodded “are you going to leave me for 15 years?” You quietly asked, afraid of the answer. Natasha couldn’t promise you anything, her future was just as unclear as yours but she was sure of one thing “I’m not going anywhere y/n” she said “now you close those eyes” her Russian accent filled your ears with a beautiful tune as she began to sing. Her comforting warmth lulling you into a deep slumber.
-7 weeks at S.H.I.E.L.D-
“No.” Natasha firmly said “I’m not going on this mission!” she slammed her hands on the wall “Romanoff” Fury warned, Maria cutting him off “the whole point of you coming here was that you would work under S.H.I.E.L.D” she said “well things have changed!” Natasha yelled “I need you for this mission Natasha” Fury boomed “I have to be here for y/n” Natasha said, scratching at her palms to calm her anger “you can’t stay glued to her side forever” Maria sighed. “You don’t get it!” The widow screamed, loosing all control “then explain it to us!” Fury said, mirroring Nat’s anger. “This is the safest place y/n has ever been but she doesn’t feel it yet.” Natasha began “she won’t feel safe for a long time and I may not be the perfect role model but I am the only one she trusts, the only one who will ever understand the hell she has been through!” Natasha’s voice was cracking, the tears threatening to spill “you both went through it” Maria said, catching the halls attention “they need time Nick” she said looking at her superior “a month is long enough” he said “no it’s not” Maria shot back “only Natasha and y/n can tell us when they’re ready” the brunette came to stand by Nats side, a silent promise that she was there for her. “So what do you need?” Nick asked “time” Natasha said.
“Natty?” You quietly called from the bedroom door, the three adults in the corridor turned their attention to you “hey y/n, are you okay?” Nat asked “why are you shouting?” You mumbled “sorry sweetheart we were just having a little disagreement” the red head said as she came to pick you up. She stopped immediately when you backed away from her “its okay no one’s angry” she cooed coming down to your level “I don’t like it” you sniffled “you sound like daddy” Natasha’s heart sank, she wanted to make a different impact on your life. “I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to scare you” Nat said trying to defuse the situation. Her efforts fell short when Fury announced his exit with the slam of the corridor doors. You flinched and pushed past the red head into Maria’s legs, breaking Natasha’s heart without knowing it. She couldn’t hold it back this time, big strong Nat, the tears started to fall. She quickly stood and turned on her heels walking past you and Maria, intertwined together. “Natasha” the agent called after the widow, her sobs fading and allowing her to hear yours. “It’s alright y/n, let’s go and get a hot chocolate okay”
Natasha caught the faint red stain in the mirror as she turned on her feet, the blood beginning to seep through her pointe shoes. This was the only way to let it all out. She had cried enough, spent too long feeling sorry for herself. Now she needed to make up for her mistake, and she needed to forget the look on your little face. The balletic music filled her head enough that Natasha didn’t notice when Clint came into the studio, only realising he was there when she caught his frame landing from a leap. She continued to twirl until Clint stopped the music “that looks painful” he said as he pointed to Natasha’s shoes, she simply shrugged. “Maria called” Clint began “told me what happened earlier. Why are you punishing yourself?” He asked. There it was again, the feeling of her tears creeping up on her “because I’m a monster” she whispered “No. you’re not” the spy said as he handed his teammate a fresh water bottle. He tilted his gaze to the bench and Natasha understood the message. “You’re allowed to be hurt too you know” Clint said as he passed nat a first aid kit, understanding that she would probably want to tend to her own wounds herself. “This has been a huge scary change for you, and for y/n. It’s not always going to be easy” Clint settled on the bench close to Natasha “she got scared Nat, but she won’t stay scared. I see it in her face, she trusts you, you just reminded her of a time I’m sure she’d rather forget” Nat looked over to her fellow agent every few seconds, in between placing her sneakers back onto her bruised feet “do you remember your second week here?” Clint asked “we were training in the gym. You dodged my right hook and I took you straight to the floor, and you stayed there for an hour. You were afraid, because I reminded you of a time you would rather forget” Natasha thought about the memory in detail, imagining that’s how you must have felt today “but here you are now, sat here with me. And I know you’ll never admit it, but I see it on your face too; I see that you trust me” the two shared a glance, accompanied with a small smile. Feeling content that Natasha was safe to be on her own, Clint left her to ponder. Ponder about you.
When Natasha found you, you were watching finding nemo. You and nat had watched it together for the first time last week. Maria was close by and Natasha wished it was her next to you instead of sprinkles. “Hey y/n” she quietly said, not wanting to startle you “mind if I join you?” She asked from a safe distance, thrilled when you nodded. She sat on the armchair next to the couch and you instantly knew that she was too far away for your liking. Shuffling down of the cushions you made your way over to Natasha and slotted your hand into hers, a large smile forming on her face. You pulled her to her feet and dragged her back to your mountain of blankets, silently asking her to join you, which she of course did. After a while of content movie watching, Maria excused herself, leaving you and Natasha to talk. “Y/n” Nat said, drawing your focus to her “I’m so sorry I scared you today” you looked up to her emerald eyes and saw nothing but regret, a look your father never had. He had never told you he was sorry after shouting and he definitely didn’t after he had thrown you around the house. You knew Natasha was different, every touch to your skin was gentle and every sentence was soft. “I forgive you” you said noticing a tear forming in the corner of Natasha’s eye “don’t cry Natty” you said as you came to your knees and crawled to wipe away her stray tear. “I promise you I will never hurt you y/n, you don’t have to be scared of me” Natasha sniffled “‘M not scared of you” you sat back on your heels “but I am scared of daddy” you admitted “and I’m scared of Dreykov, and the red room. I don’t wanna go back there” Natasha broke hearing you say the very same words she had once pleaded. “You don’t ever have to go back there baby” the red head cried with you “not to the red room and not to daddy, you can stay with me forever” you collapsed into Nats arms and held on tight, you knew you were never letting go “look at me y/n” Natasha said as she lifted your chin with her pinky “it’s okay to be afraid. I’m afraid too sometimes, but me and you are gonna stick together and I will always look after you” he sniffled “I’ll look after you too Natty”
-Week 8 at S.H.I.E.L.D-
Waking up next to Natasha felt safe. She was warm and always had one arm holding you close. The widow had tried to coax you into your own bed, adjacent to her own on the other side of the room. Each night, however, you would always end up cuddled together. Natasha understood it was where you felt most comfortable but still dealing with her own nightmares at the same time was hard, thankfully you were a heavy sleeper but Nat always feared she would startle you awake too.
Today was a big day. You hadn’t been outside of the S.H.I.E.L.D grounds since you arrived, the outside world seeming too scary. Natasha had seen you though, staring up at the city through the fencing. Your little mind was so curious and you had yet to explore the world outside of an abusive environment. You were excitedly nervous when Natasha told you she needed to take a trip to the store, you had never been to one of those before. The red head didn’t really need to go but it was a good excuse to get you out of HQ. She had agreed with Fury that a car of specialist agents would follow close behind, dressed in everyday clothes as to not frighten you although they were ultimately there to protect you. Fury accepted Natasha’s many requests, despite not fully understanding why he needed 10 members of his team watching the surrounding areas.
“Good morning Natty” you said as you gently laid your weight over her stomach, you were clingiest in the morning and Natasha loved it. Thinking back to the first few weeks you were here, it was remarkable that you accepted her loving touch so easily now. “Are you looking forward to our trip out today?” Nat asked “yeah. But ‘M a little nervous” you mumbled behind a yawn “that’s alright sweetheart” Natasha said as she pushed your baby hairs to the side “I’ll keep you safe y/n” she smiled, and you smiled back. The redhead considered asking you if you wanted to go to a cafe for breakfast but thought that might be too much for todays adventure.
“Okay, other foot darling” Natasha said as reached for the laces on your right shoe. “Alright, I think we’re ready to go!” She finished with a gentle pat to your shoe clad foot. You followed Natasha through the building towards the garage area, reaching for her hand every now and then but deciding against it. “Woah!” You said as you helped the redhead push open the door “would you like to pick a car? We’re allowed to take any one that we want!” She said “yes please” you excitedly giggled and instantly moved towards the convertible Volkswagen Beatle. “You wanna take the bug y/n?” Nat asked, you nodded with anticipation and the widow helped you into the car seat Maria had gotten for you.
You were amazed. The trees swaying so freely, all the colours in the bushes just filled with flowers. You couldn’t keep still the entire journey, every corner filling your little mind with wonder. As curious as you were, you failed to catch the unmarked S.H.I.E.L.D car trailing you. Natasha however, was glancing in the mirror every few moments to make sure they were still there, your safety being her number one priority. You got excited when the tall buildings of the city came into view but were immediately disappointed when Natasha took a left turn into a car park. “Ok here we are!” Nat said “do you have the list I gave you sweetheart?” You held up the notepad high to show Natasha you had taken good care of it.
When you reached for Natasha’s hand this time, just outside the shop doors, she obliged straight away. Keeping a tight grip on you and the basket in her other hand, she asked you what was the first item on the list. Natasha didn’t actually need any of the things she had written down but they were basic necessities so would one day become useful. You stayed close to your best friend the entire time, starting to feel slightly overwhelmed as the store filled up with customers. The lights were getting to bright and the mixed sent from each department was too much but as long as Natasha was beside you, you knew you would be okay. “Ok I think we’re all done darling” the redhead said “shall we double check?” She continued as she put down the heavy basket. You began to list of every item on your piece of paper “toothpaste” you said “check” Natasha answered “shampoo”
“Check”
“Soap”
“Check”
“Lotion”
“Check! I think we’re all good!” Natasha finally said after you had ticked of every item. “You’ve been so helpful y/n, how about we go and pick you out a new outfit?” Truth be told you were ready to leave but you had been eyeing up the clothes every time you wandered past “okay” you said and retook Nat’s hand.
You didn’t like this section anymore, at first it had been fun all these bright colours and pretty dresses, but each time you picked something out Natasha would let go of your hand to pull it off the rail. Eventually both your hands were so full of clothes that you had no way to connect, thankfully Natasha had suggested that it was time to leave so you followed close by to the checkout making sure you could see her red locks the entire time. A group of teenagers came charging towards you both, taking you by surprise and causing you drop your new sneakers. You quickly lent down to grab them but when you looked up again Natasha’s red hair was no where to be seen. You immediately panicked, not being able to see the widow, dropping everything in your grasp to run ahead and catch up to her. You expected she would be just around the corner but when you shuffled around on the slippery floor, she wasn’t there. A gentlemen came up behind you with your discarded items “here you go y/n” the man said, causing you to let out a squeal at the unwelcome touch “no go away!” You screamed and ran in the opposite direction.
Meanwhile, Natasha was frantically searching for you in every isle and around every bend. “Y/n?” She called at every corner. All your shopping was long gone by now, nothing mattered more to Natasha than you did. She ran through the store, halting when she saw agent Carlos holding the clothes and shoes you had picked out. She came crashing into him demanding to know where you were “she got frightened and ran off agent Romanoff” he timidly said, fearing the darkness in the red heads eyes. “Well contact everyone else! Find her!” She demanded and began to race the store in search for you again.
The toy isle seemed a great place to hide, you knocked the boxes of the bottom shelf causing quite a commotion. While pushing the remaining toys out of your way, agent Hill had caught you in the corner of her eye “Romanoff I’ve got her, the toy section” she said into the cuff of her sleeves drawing questioning looks from other customers. Just before you could climb into your hidden safe space, an arm interlocked with your own “no!” You yelled “let me go!” You kicked as Maria pulled you towards her “it’s alright y/n it’s me” she pleaded. Through your teary eyes, you couldn’t quite make out her face and although you recognised her voice she wasn’t who you wanted “no! I want mama! Where’s my mama!” You cried out.
Natasha came speeding down the shop floor, scanning every isle despite knowing where you were. A huddle of onlookers had appeared, Nat simply pushed through them ignoring their huffs of disapproval. She rounded the corner to see you backing away from Maria screaming for your mom, how Natasha’s heart broke, knowing she could never bring her back to you. “Y/n?” The widow said, your head immediately whipping to her direction, your screams stopped for a moment but your howling increased as your eyes met Natasha’s “mama!” You cried as your feet picked up and you ran straight for her. Natasha’s world fell still, you were calling for her. Calling a name she had only dreamed of one day hearing and knew she never would. “Mommy!” you cried once more as Natasha’s world came back to life, her own feet leading her towards you. “Come here baby girl!” She said, and moments later your bodies collided into the most loving embrace the two of you had ever witnessed “mommy’s here y/n” she said into your ear as you cried into her shoulder “please don’t leave me mommy!” You sobbed “I’m not going anywhere y/n, I promise” Natasha said “mama’s got you. Let’s go home baby”
That night, Natasha welcomed you into her bed, wanting to hold you close. You had spent all evening trying on your new clothes (Maria had made sure they were purchased along with the toys you had accidentally broken) you had put on a fashion show for your new mama and required her validation for every outfit, not that you needed it. You had worn yourself out before your usual bedtime and Natasha had decided the two of you would have a movie night. Your eyes had fell closed no more than 30 minutes into the first film. Nat turned off the lights, leaving just the one on her bedside table, you shifted as the redhead pulled the duvet up to cover you both “mh” you whined “mama” you huffed as you cuddled into her side “I’m here sweetheart” your mommy said, holding you tightly in her arms. You fell soundly asleep in the arms of your mom, the woman you love most in the world. As for Natasha, she fell asleep holding in her hands what had only ever been a dream. A dream the red room had tried to take away from her, yet here she was holding her daughter, holding you.
————
This is the longest fic I’ve ever written so I apologise if there’s any mistakes I tried my best to get it done quickly as well and with my dyslexic ass there’s probably mistakes all over it
Happy new year guys🩷
90 notes · View notes
Text
I saw you again ‖ Carol Danvers x reader part 2
Summary - You couldn't look at her eyes without falling in love again Warning - Was written before The Marvels came out, so the event will not matches canon
Part 1
Tumblr media
Three years.
Three years since you came back from the blip. Three years since you moved out of your old house. Something happened to you during the blip. It happened to only a few people but you were unfortunatly one of them. You forgot half of the last four years of your life. Which meand you forgot half of the people you knew in the past 4 years, you forgot half of the things that happened and you forgot half of the good and bad event of your life.
So you decided to move out of your old house. You were still an agent for S.H.I.E.L.D, but you only went on very important mission with the Avengers. Well, at first you were in a bit of a conflict with Clint, due to Natasha's death, but you mainly ignored him. Oh and also, Yelena and you were closer than ever. Not as in a relationship but in a sister way. You were the one to help her deal with Natasha's death and even if it was hard this got you both closer. She felt happier so you felt proud of yourself.
You, however, you felt like something was missing. Like someone was missing. You knew who she was. Atleast you knew her name. Carol. That is how you called her. Well how you called her in your song anyways. You knew she was someone dear to you, you never wrote songs about people so she must have been special. But you didn't remember her and there was no Carol in your social circle.
Anyhow, right now you were in a little rush. You had to go to work for an emergency meeting, Fury's call, about a super hero under the name of 'Captain Marvel'. He said that she was going to take the lead of the SAT, a team you decided to start and so you needed to be there. The SAT, also known as Space Avengers Team was an innitative that would reunite all the Avengers non-human or able to live in space for missions in the outer space or on another planet. Your plan was to expend protection all around the universe, to give the Guardian of the Galaxy more help. The multiverse too now with the help of the young America by Strange's side. And as the brain of idea, you had to be at the meeting on time.
You rushed throught the entrance of S.C.Y.T.H.E, Super Communicative Yard Technologic Hyper Electrocnic, you were greeted by a few agents but you couldn't waste your time on them. As you reached the elevator, you saw that the door was about to close itself and you frowned.
"Please hold the door !" You called out and the person inside of the elevator blocked the door.
"Thank you so much." You said between breath not even looking at the agent by your side.
The meeting was starting in five minutes. You were just on time.
꧁----------꧂
It has been three years since Carol last saw you. She would come visit Earth a few times, and everytime she was staying at your house to remember you. But now here you were. Standing beside her, not even noticing her presence in the elevator.
"Thank you so much." Your voice echoed throught the elevator and Carol felt her eyes tears up.
It has been so long since the last time she heard your voice. Eight years, and now, it sounded so familiar yet so strange. And you looked familiar yet so she feels like you were a stranger. Your once light h/c hair were now darker, and you were also taller than before. Your voice still sounded the same but at the same time your sounded less guarded than before. Everything about you changed, without changing.
Exiting the elevator on the same level, Carol watched as you rushed inside of the meeting room. Not even sparing a glance at her. And she felt her nerves goes up.
"Ah ! There she is ! Carol Danvers, our Captain !" Nick smirked and you looked up from your sit.
'Carol Danvers'
This name was familiar to you and when you looked up, there stood a blond. Her hair were short, very short but it suited her, she was in her suit and you couldn't help but gulp a little at the sign. But what caught your attention the most were her eyes. Her light brown eyes were filled with so many emotions. They held so many memories.
-----
"Carol ! No Carol stop !" You ran away throught your field and Carol chased after you.
"You get back here !" The blond yelled and you giggled before turning around with a smirk.
What you didn't expect was Carol being closer to you than what she was supposed to be, causing the two of you fall. Carol on top of you, yet her right hand was under your head, preventing it to hit the ground.
"If you wanted me to be on top of you, you could have just asked me darling." Carol smirked and you blushed before shoving her away.
"In your dream Vers, back to work now !" You replied with a playful smile and you broke your eyes contact before getting up and go back inside, giggling at Carol's next words that you knew by heart now.
"Yeah, in my wildest dreams Y/n/n. I'll see you again !"
-----
"I should take you on a date." You moved from under the spaceship and Carol chocked on drink.
"W-what ?" She asked with burning cheeks and you smirked.
"I should take you on a date." You repeated and the other woman turned away, clearly flustered.
After a few seconds, you couldn't help but laugh at her reaction causing Carol to faceyou once again, with a playful glare this time. Once your laughter died down, you looked back at Carol only to see her smile from ears to ears, and she was in awe.
"Stop looking at me with those eyes." You playfully rolled your eyes.
"What eyes ?" The blond asked with confusion.
"Eyes that tells me that you're in love with me or something." You pointed out and Carol walked to stand in front of you.
"But I am in love with you. I love you. So please be my girlfriend." She bluntly asked and you stood there in shook.
"W-what ?" This time you were the one stuttering and Carol chuckled before walking away.
"Alright, I'll let you think about your answer ! I'll see you later Space Widow !" She called, leaving you a blushing mess in your garage.
-----
"You know, your eyes remind me of winter." Carol spoke up and you, who was laying against her chest, looked up from your ipad with a confused frown.
"What ?" The question slip from between your lips and the blond chuckled.
"Well, they are cold but beneath them is a bliss of beauty, just like how snow covers the flower buds. And even if they give a cold exterior, the warm your eyes hide behind their walls is so comforting. Just like a warm blanket covering me." Carol explained and you let your ipad on the table with a cheeky smile.
"Then yours remind me of fall. The light brown color of your eyes remind me of the fallen leaves and it also remind me of the cover of the books in my library that I read in fall. Under a warm blanket all over me too." You replied and Carol smiled before pecking your nose.
"Well aren't you a cutie." She complimented and you intertwined your fingers.
"I'm your cutie thought right ?" You questioned and the woman hummed against your lips.
"Yep you are." Carol's soft lips pressed against yours and you moved to a more comfortable position, deciding to sit on her lap, until the kiss was broken by your yawn.
"Go to sleep my darling. I'll be there when you woke up." Carol hugged you tighter and you snuggled into her chest.
"I'll see you again ?" You questioned and the woman nodded.
"I'll see you again love."
-----
"We've been waiting for weeks now ! Where is Fury's team !?" You groaned as you passed around the living room and Carol sighed.
"Darling-"
"No. Listen. The fact that he even let your spacehip have a deficiency is a problem, but he doesn't even try to send you a team ! And the intel you got was wrong !-"
"Babe-"
"-You are so busy but you had to come here and every intel he told you were wrong. Plus you crashed your ship !-"
"Y/n-"
"-What if there was another planet that needs you right now but because Fury doesn't move his ass they will not be able to reach you on time and-"
"Y/n look at me." Carol stopped you firmly, holding both of your arms and making you face her.
"Love calm down. Take a deep breath okay ?" She added as you shared an eyes contact.
And you took a deep breath, her warm light brown eyes helping you to keep your ground as Carol caressed your cheek.
"Everything will be okay. Fury's team will arrive in a few. And if people needs me I'll be there on time. And if I didn't crash my space ship I wouldn't have meet you love." The blond comforted you and you hummed contantly, hugging to woman of your life in the middle of your living room.
"If you go back in space. I'll still see you again right ?" You asked not louder than a whisper and Carol kissed the top of your head.
"I'll see you again. Always."
-----
"I'll see you again..." You breathed out and Carol's breath itched.
"I'm sorry ?" The captain asked and you immediately went throught your stuff.
"I'll see you again ! These were the words you used to tell me all the time ! You're the Carol I love ! The one I wrote the song about ! You're the Carol I've been waiting for all these years !" You exclaimed happily and rushed to hug Carol tightly.
Carol couldn't believe it. Not only you were hugging her after eight years but you also said that you loved her. During the entire time of you both being together you never said L word. Yet today you were basically saying it to stranger.
"I missed you so much..." You whispered and the blond woman couldn't help but feel a tear roll down her cheek.
"I missed you... So much more." She answered.
Then Carol cupped your cheeks between her hands and you leaned into her touch almost immediatly. Your e/c eyes locked with brown ones as Carol smiled. You were really there. She could feel you, she could hold you.
"I missed you so much more my love." Carol lips brushed against yours.
Then your eyes drifted to her lips. You didn't even knew her that well but you felt like you need to kiss her. It just seemed right. And without a single thought, you closed the space between you two. At first you were tensed, the last time you kissed someone, that you could remember of anyways, was probably when you were on a mission for the Red Room. So a while ago. And yet here you were. Kissing a stranger. The kiss was soft yet passionated. And it was probably cliché to say this, but you felt like firework filled in your stomach.
Carol moved her hands from your cheeks to your hands and your fingers interlocked together. They fitted perfectly, as if the were made for each other. Without leaving each other's hold, the both of you pulled away and a soft smile made its way to your lips.
"I knew it. My prodigal child with the prodigal child of the Milky way." Fury smirk from the side and you looked down, your cheeks burning.
"What can I say ? I was destinated to be with a star." Carol replied while looking down at you.
Looking up at her with a smile, you couldn't help but stare at her enchanting eyes. You felt loved, cuddled, under a warm blanket.
"I'm so glad I got to see you again Captain Marvel." You breathed out with a grin and Carol put a strand of hair behind your ear lovingly.
"And I more Space Widow."
145 notes · View notes
munsonsduchess · 2 years
Text
Girls Got Rhythm
summary: eddie fucks you in his van after a show w/c: 2206 warnings: 18+ only no minors, praise, swearing, oral (f recieving), unprotected sex (you're smarter than that), slight spoilers for Vol 2 authors note: so how are we feeling Eddie Nation? That season finale was ... something huh? Anyway this is probably going to be the first of quite a few fix it fics from me because like Nick Fury said "I recognise that the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid ass decision I've elected to ignore it" Not beta'd all mistakes are my own and add flavour. We die like heroes. Please reblog it really helps me out!!
Tumblr media
(moodboard by me)
The atmosphere in the bar was electric, bands had been playing all night and now finally it was Eddie's turn, they were the headline act in the Hideout that night. Long gone were the days of playing to five drunks and a group of hicks that wouldn't know good music if it slapped them in the face. 
Turns out being wanted for and then acquitted of murder was actually something of a reputation builder in the metal music community. It gave Eddie a kind of street cred he didn't have before and now people were coming from all over to watch Corroded Coffin play.
Throughout it all though he had you, his number one fan. As you'd tell him again and again. You'd been there through Spring Break 86, through Vecna, him almost being mauled alive by those demobat things. You'd never once left him or dipped out when things got out of control and there you were now standing right in front of the stage in possibly the most sinful outfit you could have conjured. Eddie felt his cock stir in his jeans just looking at you, of course that was a pretty regular occurrence on its own but seeing you standing there with your homemade Corroded Coffin  shirt, the shortest mini skirt imaginable not to mention your legs wrapped in fishnets leaving nothing to the imagination and Eddie didn't have to imagine what was waiting for him underneath that skirt. 
You smiled up at him as he took his place front and centre on the stage, the spotlight shining on him giving his fuzzy brown curls a halo which was at odds with the devilish smirk on his lips as he began playing. The crowd had been waiting for this all night and they were going wild for Eddie and for the band, this was everything either of you could have wanted. You'd both remember this moment in time for the rest of your lives. 
It hadn't been easy getting here, putting in hours in the bar waitressing and behind the bar. It was really the only place that would hire you both since you'd made it abundantly clear that unless both of you were hired then neither of you would work wherever it was and having been rejected by everywhere else you'd applied for, even the video store which Harrington assured you both would be an easy place to get hired, you were more than willing to put in whatever hours the management of the bar needed you to if it meant for one night a month Eddie could stand on that stage like the Rock Star he was always meant to be and play to his devoted fans. Even if most of them only came to see the guy accused of murder in such a small town. 
⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰
After the set you knew Eddie would be helping the rest of the band carry the equipment back to his van since as big as they were in Hawkins no one else was going to help them carry their gear. Sure enough you found Eddie stood by the stage door slash delivery entrance. HIs hair was stuck to his forehead and the back of his neck with sweat but the smile on his face told you that he couldn't care less about that,
"Hey, can I get an autograph? I'm your biggest fan" you called to get his attention, "honest I am" 
"Baby you can have anything you want" Eddie grinned at you holding his arms open so you could slot yourself against him, "anything at all" 
"Anything?" 
"Name it" 
"Well in that case" you leant up on tiptoe to kiss Eddie softly, the leather in your boots squeaking as you did so, "you looked so good up there baby" 
"You look better" Eddie said, snaking an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, "couldn't keep my eyes off you. I thought I was gonna have to jump off the stage at one point and let everyone know you're mine" 
"I think the amount of hickies you leave should tell people that" 
"Yeah but then you cover up all my hardwork with these" Eddie laughed, his fingers playing with your necklaces, "I think I'm gonna have to prove it again" 
You didn't need to ask what he meant. You could feel how hard he had gotten through his jeans and you'd be lying if you  said watching him on the stage hadn't had the arousal dripping down your own thighs. You loved watching him play whenever, wherever and tonight was certainly no different.
"So what are we waiting for?" 
⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰
You had thought that perhaps Eddie would have told the rest of the guys that he'd arrange another way for them to get their stuff out of the bar that he'd take you home to your crappy little one room apartment and the murphy bed that squeaked so much your neighbour thought it was an infestation of some kind. 
You should have known better. Why would Eddie bother driving all the way home when his van was right there? 
Which is how you found yourself on your back with your skirt pushed up around your hips while Eddie knelt between your legs, eyes dark and hooded as he stared at your exposed pussy,
"Baby? No panties?" he breathed, casting his eyes upwards for a second to catch the way you bit your bottom lip as his fingers slipped through the mesh of your tights and ran through the slick forming between your thighs, "you're already so wet, is this all for me?" 
"All for you Eddie, love you" 
"I love you too sweetheart, I'm gonna love you so much" 
Before you could form a sentence your brain short circuited with the sound of Eddie ripping your tights and giving himself better access to your dripping pussy. You let out a moan when he used two ring clad fingers to swipe through your folds collecting your slick and using it to push a finger into your warm wet entrance.
A few mumbled obscenities fell from Eddie's lips as he watched his finger being sucked back into your waiting cunt again and again. How your hips bucked and searched for more, he never got enough of seeing you like this. 
Adding another finger he watched as you writhed beneath him, Eddie used his thumb to swipe against your clit and reveled in the broken moan that bubbled out of your throat. He knew he wasn't going to last long but he wanted to be sure you at least got off once before he did,
"Eddie, wanna feel you" you begged, "please baby, just wanna feel you" 
"Ssh it's gonna be ok" Eddie reassured you before readjusting his position so he could lay between your legs and lick a stripe up your weeping cunt. Removing his fingers so both hands could grab at your hips and bring your core closer to him. 
Eddie loved to go down on you. Loved the way your hips moved on their own and tried to ride his face. Loved the whimpers and moans and cries of his name you made as he tongue fucked your entrance, his fingers drawing fast circles on your swollen clit.
Your hands found purchase in his curls as Eddie sucked on your clit, his tongue drawing obscure patterns as your hips moved in a rhythm all their own chasing the high you could feel coiling in your gut. That white hot heat spreading through your veins as Eddie curled his fingers inside you hitting that spot that had you seeing stars and clenching around his fingers like a vice ,
"So good for me" Eddie praised, his fingers slowing their movements before pulling out. You held yourself up on your elbows long enough to see Eddie cleaning off his fingers before releasing them with a wet pop, "god you taste fucking amazing" 
"Eddie - " 
"It's ok love. I just - I need you ok?" 
You nodded, this is what you'd wanted too while you watched him on that stage. Your legs squeezed together as you dripped slick onto the floor of the bar, which wouldn't be the worst thing cleaned off that floor tonight all things considered. 
You reached out and helped Eddie to undo his belt buckle and the zip on his jeans. He was painfully hard and he needed to be buried inside you. To feel those velvet walls clamp around his cock was the closest feeling to heaven Eddie was sure he would ever experience. 
He shimmed out of his jeans enough to push them around his ankle, you noticed he'd also chosen to go commando tonight although that might have more to do with the fact that both of you had been ignoring the every growing pile of dirty laundry in your apartment but you didn't care what his reasoning was. Right now all that mattered was there were less pieces of clothing between the two of you getting what you wanted. 
Eddie lined himself up to your entrance and leant down to kiss you as he pushed himself inside. Both of you grabbing at the other, your  kisses all tongues and teeth as Eddie bottomed out inside you, he waited for a moment so you could adjust until you rolled your hips to signal him to start moving. 
Neither of you was interested in taking this slow it would  seem as Eddie set a brutal pace almost right away. Pulling almost all the way out before slamming back in harshly filling you up to the brim each time. His tip kissed your cervix as he searched for that spot inside he'd reached with his fingers earlier. The spot that had you clawing at his back, thanking whatever gods that he'd chosen to play that night in a loose black tank top instead of his usual layers of shirts and jackets. 
The sounds of moaning and skin slapping against skin filled the back of the van and you were sure people would have noticed the movement inside from the outside but if anyone did notice what you two were up to they said nothing. 
You could feel that coil in your stomach tightening again as Eddie's cock brushed against your sweet spot,
"M'close Eddie" you gasped, "m'so close" 
"Cum for me sweetheart" he breathed into your ear as his fingers circled your clit harshly once again drawing your climax. You clenched around him as your back arched and you came with a cry of his name on your lips.
With your sweet walls milking him for all he was worth Eddie's own release wasn't far behind yours as he filled you with his hot spend. Your walls fluttered around him as warmth spread through your limbs, nothing but fog and static in your brain as your orgasm took a hold of your body. 
When you came back down you found Eddie knelt between your legs again, polaroid in hand as he snapped a picture of your mixed release dripping out of your puffy pussy, "so fucking beautiful" 
When he had taken enough pictures Eddie sat the camera back down before gently using his index and ring  fingers to scoop up your mixed fluids and push them back into your swollen cunt, 
"Eddie" you whined, 
"I know sweetheart I know" he placed a chaste kiss on your cheek before fishing some cigarettes out of the glove box, lighting one and offering it to you which you took gratefully. 
Eddie watched as you inhaled the smoke before exhaling it in small clouds. He loved watching you smoke, loved the way you held the cigarette so carefully in poised fingers, the way you'd close your eyes when you drew in and the way you exhaled because you'd seen Frenchie do it in Grease and taught yourself to exhale exactly like she did.
"You're staring Eds" you teased, breaking him out of his revelry, "my tits aren't even out" 
"Do I need an excuse to stare at my beautiful girlfriend?" he shot back, his smile lighting up the small space between you, "that's what I thought" 
You laughed and Eddie wondered if he could record the sound and just play it forever, like the Mayfield kis and her Kate Bush tape,
"Hey, I was thinking" you said, sitting upright and stretching slightly to alleviate the kink in your back from being railed in the back of the van, "you wanna see that vampire movie tomorrow? Since we're both off" 
"Whatever you want Princess" Eddie agreed instantly, he would do anything she asked of him,
"Good cause Steve wanted to double date with this girl he's been seeing - " Eddie cut you off with a loud groan and flopped dramatically onto the floor of the van, 
"Why do we have'ta go with Harrginton? Why can't it just be us?" 
"Tell you what if you say yes to this I'll say yes to anything you want to do tonight when we get home" 
"Anything?" 
"Anything" 
"Oh you're on princess, you're on" Eddie's eyes sparkled with mischief and you laughed again.
 God you loved this over dramatic dork. 
1K notes · View notes
bradshawsbitch · 1 year
Text
‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎↠ 𝕞 𝕒 𝕤 𝕥 𝕖 𝕣 𝕝 𝕚 𝕤 𝕥 . . .
Tumblr media
beautiful header made by my bestie @lewmagoo 💚
Tumblr media
consider donating to my ko-fi?
« - denotes angst.
△ - denotes smut.
❣ - denotes fluff
Tumblr media
natasha phoenix t r a c e ;
" leaning in and listening to your sweet voice,
charmed by your laughter. "
Tumblr media
bradley rooster b r a d s h a w ;
" for the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
for the hearing of my heart---
it really goes. "
Tumblr media
robert bob f l o y d ;
" I am learning peacefulness, lying by myself quietly
as the light lies on these white walls, this bed, these hands. "
Tumblr media
jake hangman s e r e s i n ;
" if the moon smiled, she would resemble you.
you leave the same impression
of something beautiful but annihilating. "
Tumblr media
rhett a b b o t t ;
" the fury of a demon instantly possessed me.
i knew myself no longer.
my original soul seemed, at once, to take its flight from my body; "
Tumblr media
nick goose b r a d s h a w ;
" stasis in darkness.
then the substanceless blue
pour of tor and distances. "
Tumblr media
✧ 300 celly blurbs
✧ a link to all my smut △
✖ i do not consent to my work being copied, translated or published anywhere else than on my own blog ✖
474 notes · View notes
bullet-prooflove · 7 months
Text
Live Stream Part Two: No Prisoners - Nick Amaro x Reader
Tumblr media
GIF by fatalitysficbakery
Tagging: @the-adzukibean @xoxabs88xox @beardedbarba @crazy4chickennuggets @wooshwastaken @justreblogginfics @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @cosmic-psychickitty @misscharlielulu
@beccabarba @ben-c-group-therapy @the-wandering-lunatic @alwaysachorusgirl @telepathay @teti-menchon0604 @upsteadlogic @hey-dw @spookyboogyuniverse @demonarchangel @nu1freakshow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @plaidbooks @weiwei0210 @pascalispretty @twistedrat
Live Stream:
Part One: Camera Shy - Nick is forced to watch you in captivity.
Tumblr media
Pain. It was the only thing that was keeping Nick Amaro hanging on while you were in the hands of this monster. Your shrill screams were still ringing in his ears like flashbacks from the cruellest of nightmares. The process has been slow, and your whimpers of agony had stabbed him repeatedly in the heart like a hunter's knife. He was bleeding out inside the same way that you were. He didn't know if you would recover from the hell that you had been exposed to. He’d watched that video as it was live streamed to his entire Squad.
His fingers ran over the indentation that his fist left in the panel of the metal locker. His hand was aching, the skin broken and blood smeared across his white knuckles. There was so much rage burning up deep inside of him, so much anger, so much fury. He had entered the locker room and sat upon the wooden bench preparing himself for the moment that Liv said the word go.
The problem was the silence gave him time to think. Nick had sat here and absorbed every single image he had been privy to. Helplessness didn't cover what he was feeling, he would have given everything for your positions to have been reversed. He would have given his life a thousand times over for you and it had taken until now for him to understand the depth of his feelings.
Nick dropped down onto the bench once more as the adrenaline drained out of him. The truth was he didn't even know if you were alive anymore. There was no proof that you were dead, the stream had been turned off long before they had reached that point but he had seen enough to know if you did come back, you would come back damaged.
Nick let out a frustrated growl into his large hands as he ran them over his exhausted features. He hadn't slept since you had been taken, he couldn't bring himself to close his eyes and see the images that he knew would haunt him in his sleep.
He relived that last night you had spent together. He remembered the texture of your hair underneath his fingers, how tender and soft your lips were as they brushed over his. He had never felt so deserving of someone else before, he had never desired someone so badly. He had wanted you that night, your heart and your soul. Nick had wanted to make you his, he wanted to show you the extent of his feelings but you weren’t ready. You were was barely coming to terms with the chemistry that blazed between the two of you. He had placed his heart in your hands and let you set the pace.
He had lost track of the hours that you had spent exploring one another. Your kisses had been poignant and sweet, Nick had enjoyed the time he had spent, exploring the confines of your mouth. He had spent so much time learning all the little things that made you so special and unique. He loved the way your nose crinkled just a little when he made you laugh. Your eyes were the most expressive that Nick had ever seen, every time he stared into them he felt like he could see right into your soul.
Nick swallowed hard against the lump in his throat, it was an aching mass that restricting his breathing. He found himself getting lost in the darkness once more as the guilt crashed in like a wave washing over his head. He couldn't breathe at the thought that you may not return.
The door to the locker room banged open as Fin swept through, that determined, purposeful look upon his features.
"We've got a location." Fin told him before jerking his head towards the Squad Room.
Nick rose to his feet, his hand coming to rest upon the gun on his hip.
He wouldn’t be taking any prisoners tonight.
Love Nick? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.
Want to read more Nick? Check out his Masterlist here!
Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee
Tumblr media
109 notes · View notes
borntobewondering · 10 months
Text
every hour, every minute
Tumblr media
Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader (35k) The tale of an ill-fated love story that spans the ages despite all odds.
Warnings: A curse word or two. War. Hydra. Grief. Time displacement. Soulmate au stuff. Mentions of sedation. Depictions of depression. Allusion to institutionalization. angst (TW: flashing/glitching gif)
Author's Note: I've been trying to execute this idea for the longest time. It turned out so much longer than I expected, but I'm so proud of the end product. I hope y'all like it too. Also, I promise, I do not hate Tony. Even if this might make it seem like I do. (This is part two, part one will be linked below.) Enjoy!
(divider by @silkholland)
Note: My work is not to be posted anywhere else on any other platforms (aside from my ao3 account)
Part One
Masterlist
Tumblr media
The weird thing about your situation is that only one other person in your life has any idea what this experience is like. And maybe you and Steve are more alike than you’d care to admit because the first thing you decided to do was throw yourself back into the one thing that is still familiar. 
Steve had managed to help get you a position at Shield, not that it was that difficult to get Nick Fury to agree. You had a good track record, and maybe you had half a chance of actually keeping Steve in line. 
It was good to be back in the world in a way that still made sense. Everything else was so different, so far beyond the things you could’ve even pictured back in your day.
Moonlighting with Shield and your semi-sporadic schedule allow ample time to put the pieces together of what happened to you. Tony had been kind enough to scour his father’s archives for any files he might’ve had pertaining to your case. He found more than you would’ve been able to predict.
Turns out there was a flaw in the formula, and it reacted adversely with your body. They put you in a cryogenic state to preserve your body until they could find the fix. 
And, if you know Howard as well as you think you do, you’re certain he lost a lot of sleep over trying to find the answer. But when he found it he was met with pushback when it came to trying to bring you back. 
Apparently the idea of a female super soldier wasn’t one the government was on board with at the time. Which is not surprising. They’re barely on board with it now. 
You’re sure that some people would harbor some level of resentment for the fact that Howard didn’t fight a little harder. You’re sure some would’ve hoped that he would’ve done everything possible in spite of the opinion of others. But somehow it’s easier to be in this position now. 
It’s easier to be in the world beyond Howard’s accident and in the thick of Peggy’s decline as opposed to having to be there and watch it all happen. Living with the truth and the reality is simpler when the pain is just a matter of fact. 
Howard died years ago in an “accident” with his wife, and Peggy is in a battle with her own mind. It’s heartbreaking, that much would be true no matter when you were living through it. You just feel it would’ve been harder to live through it in real time. 
To have to stand at Howard’s funeral and to have been there as Peggy was starting to slip and when she was put into the home. Somehow it’s easier to deal with the heaviness of it now since it feels like it’s all said and done. The past is something that still eludes you, and you’ve been doing your research. On the world at large, on your friends who you never got to see your life with. 
Tony had been a help. Despite the fact that you could tell he and his father didn’t have the best relationship, he still humored you with stories of Howard in his later years. Stories of Howard as a husband. The good moments of him as a father, and the not so good ones. 
He gave you the address for his final resting place, and you make it a point to visit once a month. You leave some flowers, sometimes you sit for a while and you talk. It’s quiet, but you talk. You like to believe that maybe he can hear you. If there’s one person who could find a way to defy the confines of death, it’d be Howard Stark. 
You’d also found Colonel Phillips’s grave, and you’d been sure to lay a fresh bouquet of flowers at the base of it. Your relationship with him was nothing short of difficult, but he was still an important figure of your life. Someone you probably would’ve continued to work with if you’d made different choices. But you find that you don’t regret that choice. 
Not even in the times when you sit at Peggy’s bedside, when you’re both talking about some old movie. One that she’d seen on her first date with her husband, and one that you’ve since watched via classic movie channels on cable television. 
But then she seems to reset, like the entire conversation never happened. Like she hadn’t just been telling stories about her life like she used to back when you were stuck in a dorm together. 
She’s once again shocked by the fact that you’re there. That you’re sitting in the room and that you’ve survived. That they found a way to save you. She’ll tell you that she fought at every turn for them to finish the procedure. But they never listened. They felt she was too emotionally attached to the situation to think about it objectively. 
It gets her riled up every time. It brings the nurses into the room. It’s gotten to the point that they’ve encouraged you to stop coming around due to the added stress and agitation that only worsen her condition.
So, you decided to stop coming around so often. You knew Steve had followed a similar process. He still went to see her every now and then, mostly on the days when your reality was a little too much to handle. A way to remind himself that she still lived a good life, even if he wasn’t able to be a part of it. 
You wish you could say the same. You’ve done your due diligence. You’ve scanned every article and every file you have access to in the Shield database to try and find anything on what might have happened to Bucky. 
Not that you’ve told Steve about that, you know what he’ll say. It’s better to wait until there’s evidence or proof that this is more than just wishful thinking. 
You’ve seen the Smithsonian exhibit, you’ve gone more times than you care to admit. It’s weird, it’s like a living memorial. There’s old footage that was aired back to the people of America to give them some hope that the country’s frontman was out there fighting the good fight and that he would inevitably win the day. 
But that’s not the part that you care about. You care about the few clips that have him in them. You care about his smile, and the fact that you can still hear his laugh even though the only sound being fed into the room is the droning of the narrator’s voice. 
You think of the dog tags still hanging from your neck, the ones with his name etched into them that have managed to make the trip with you. 
You visit the exhibit when you feel beyond hopeless. When the research and the digging doesn’t seem to be doing any good. You can’t find a single thing. There’s no evidence pointing to the idea that his fall could be classified as survivable. 
You’re sure no one has really been looking. Steve’s testimony of what happened should’ve been enough. Why would he lie? But maybe he doesn’t know. He couldn’t see the end, he didn’t see the impact. He doesn’t know what happened in the snow smothered woods.
You think of his sister, the one he told you about all of those years ago on a starlit night. You looked her up fairly soon after your little wake up call. Turns out she’s still alive and coherent. So, you thought it might be nice to pay her a visit even though she had no clue who you were. At least, you thought she didn’t.
You’d walked into her room at her assisted living facility and she’d lit up at the sight of you. You knew your picture had been plastered on every major news station. You were quite the discovery and there were a good few weeks where you couldn’t set foot out of your apartment without being recognized. 
But it was different with this. This wasn’t the gaze of someone who recognized you from the sad story of a major historical discovery misplaced in time. This was the look of someone who knew you for you. 
Introductions were made, and she was sweet as pie just the way Bucky had described her. But she was no wallflower, she was no doormat. She had quite the mouth on her and she knew how to put her foot down. 
You’d spent hours in the recliner beside her bed and just listened to her talk. Listening to her tell stories about her life to an audience who had never heard them before. 
It was about two hours into the ordeal when you’d let your gaze sweep across her picture frames and your searchlight eyes came to a halt at one photo in particular. 
It wasn’t in a frame, it was stuck in the bottom corner of one of the frames. A frame that held a photograph of Bucky from before his service. It had to be from high school. Maybe a dance of some kind. 
He was in a suit and his hair was gelled beyond belief. It was probably prom. He looked handsome, he looked freer than you’d ever seen. He was unburdened. The fate of the world wasn’t resting on his shoulders yet. He seemed happy. He looked so young, even in comparison to the way you knew him.
But that wasn’t the part that had taken you aback. The photo in the corner, it wasn’t a big one. It was probably a four by six, and it was yellowing with age. 
The edges were curling just slightly. It was well loved, proudly on display for anyone who desired to visit. It was a picture of you and Bucky, a sneaky candid that you didn’t know existed.
Your troop was no stranger to the camera, and one of you often had one in hand to document the lighter parts of the experience. This had to have been taken by Steve, it was the only way it made any sense. The only way Bucky would’ve gotten a hold of it. 
It was one of the stupid games you all used to play. Sure, they’d had push up contests which you always opted out of. But there were also foot races. A mad dash towards a made up finish line. It made you feel like you’d actually managed to do something when there was very little control or victory present in life at the time. 
This time was towards the end of a long, joyous night. Most of the boys were too out of it to participate in the race, but Bucky agreed to run against you. He was a little worse for wear himself, his steps were stumbling, but he was game anyway. 
But he’s not an honest man, not where competition is concerned. Steve had counted you off and then they’d whistled in place of firing off a gunshot. 
You were off in an instant. You still had your faculties about you so your steps were more precise. More exacting. 
The finish line, one of the logs around the campfire, was in sight. You were so close you could practically taste it. 
Until a pair of arms wrapped around your waist and brought you to the ground in a tackle. The race was long forgotten as you fell against Bucky’s chest. 
You were disoriented for only a few seconds before sitting up and fixing him with a glare. Accusations of cheating flew that he swore were untrue, despite the damning evidence and eye witnesses. 
You were quick to climb to your feet. You brushed the dirt from the end of your skirt before pointing a finger down at where he was sitting on the ground. He was leaning up on his elbows and staring at you like you hung the moon even while you were calling him a poor sport. 
The camera had gone off right then. That’s the moment Steve chose to capture for the rest of time. The moment that rests in his sister’s life all these years later.
Apparently Bucky had sent it in his last letter. Apparently he’d been talking about you. She gave you the letter, and you hesitated to read it. You didn’t read it in front of her, but you held onto it beyond your visit. 
You held onto it through a trip to a Shield training facility where a tribute to fallen Shield agents stood. Where you saw Bucky’s name etched into the slate, and, just a little farther down the tributary, you saw your own name staring back at you. Courtesy of one Peggy Carter. 
You’re certain there was no one else who would think to honor their fallen friends like this. Dubbing you two as honorary Shield agents with a way to be remembered beyond your lifetimes. It was more sentimental than you would’ve ever given Peggy credit for. 
You held onto it through his birthday. Through the anniversary of his fall. Through Rebecca’s funeral. You held onto it through everything. Well, almost everything. 
Eventually you couldn’t hold out any longer. Not when Shield fell to pieces and Hydra reared its ugly head once more. Not after a fight on a Washington D.C. bridge against a man with a metal arm. Not after you watched his mask fall, and you laid eyes on a face you hadn’t seen in decades. Not when three helicarriers fell out of the sky and your friend nearly drowned in the Potomac. 
So, during the near week that Steve was asleep, during one of your shifts at his bedside you opened the letter. And, with the beeping of Steve’s heart monitor as your only company, you read it.  
— — —
Life after Shield isn’t as jarring as you expected. It just transitions into life with the Avengers. In the aftermath of the events in Sokovia they have a few new recruits in need of training and a good sparring partner. You’re more than happy to oblige. 
It’s a relocation from D.C. to upstate New York in a compound provided by Stark Industries. It’s not to your tastes, but it’s a state of the art roof over your head that you don’t have to worry about. It comes with roommates and a sense of community. Being alone has been your default these last few years, and it’s not really an option anymore. 
There’s also Steve’s crusade to track down the Winter Soldier. Which he hasn’t actually told you about, but you managed to put the pieces together pretty easily. 
He’s gone on several highly classified missions with Sam and has asked you to hold down the fort by taking over his usual training responsibilities in his absence. 
It wasn’t that hard to figure out what he was actually doing.
And, for once, you’re not going to push. He clearly thinks there’s a good reason to keep this to himself for the time being. So, you’re not going to be an ass and burst his bubble. 
Besides, you know he won’t be able to find him. The man has been a ghost for decades. He’s known for being able to hide, especially in plain sight. If he doesn’t want to be found then he won’t be. No amount of searching or resources is going to change that. 
But Steve needs to do something, and you respect that. He needs to do this to be able to feel like he isn’t just giving up. He can’t just leave him out there, he can’t sit with that on his conscience. And you can understand that. Even if you disagree with it. 
Debriefing is probably the most exhausting part of your job, more than the missions themselves. Having to talk over all of your choices is just tedious, especially when it ends up being used as a case study for the trainees to learn from. It’s a lovely weight off your shoulders once you can leave the conference room table and head back to your room. 
Your door clicking closed behind you is a sound that brings peace to your soul. Your shoulders finally drop as you go over to your closet and key in the combination for your safe. Pulling your gun from its holster and safely locking it away in the shadowed safe haven of your bedroom. Even when you’re not alone.
“You should know better than to sneak up on me.” You say, voice dripping with nonchalance as you unzip the top half of your suit and pull it down to reveal the tank top you’re sporting beneath it. 
You pull a pair of sweats from the drawer beside you, and don’t even bother with modesty as you drag down the legs of your suit and quickly replace them with pants that allow for real mobility. That’s one thing you’ve learned to enjoy, modern clothes feel less restrictive than the way you used to dress. 
You turn your head just slightly to be able to catch the glare of the moon glinting off a metal hand over in your arm chair. You also spy a gun laid on the table next to it, and you don’t even have it in you to be nervous. There’s no real threat here. Not like this. Not with him. 
You’re careful with your steps, not wanting to raise his hackles any further than they may already be. You round the corner of your bed and you sit on the edge closest to him while still leaving enough space so he doesn’t feel crowded. 
You know it’ll be slow going, you’re not sure he’ll even say a word. It’s not the first time this has happened. You’ve yet to breathe a word of it to Steve, figuring if Bucky wanted to see Steve he would’ve done it by now. And you’re fairly certain Tony already knows because he’s definitely shown up on the security feed. 
It started about six months back. When your phone rang late one night, it was probably about four in the morning. Not that you’d actually been sleeping. It was an unknown number, probably a burner, but you didn’t hesitate to answer. 
Your entire existence bordered on sketchy scenarios, who knew what would’ve been waiting for you on the other end of the line. But you just had a feeling that it’d matter if you picked up. And it did. 
He didn’t say anything that night. The call was barely the blink of an eye, maybe a minute at most. And that’s being generous. 
You’d said hello, and you’d waited a few seconds. Waited for some kind of response. You could barely hear him breathing, but you just knew. 
You wondered how he’d gotten your number, how he’d managed to find it. But you barely had any time to think at all because he was hanging up shortly thereafter and all you had left to hang onto was dead air. 
Then, about two months later, he made his first visit. He hadn’t said a thing, it’d been up to you to fill the silence. But you hadn’t spent every second talking. 
You’d let yourself look him over. It was the first good look at him you’d had since that morning a few hours before the fall. His hair was longer, his eyes held a pain you couldn’t begin to understand, and his shoulders held a weight you knew he’d never be able to shed. 
But all of that was less jarring than his arm. You noticed the way he tensed when your gaze lingered on it. And you know he was thinking there was a different reason behind it. That arm had caused damage and destruction. It had taken life. And all of those things are horrible, they’re life altering realizations. But that’s not the part that felt the most like a gut punch. 
It’s his left arm. And where your initials used to rest on his skin now there’s vibranium. You’ve been carrying him around with you, and Hydra took you away from him. The one constant reminder of his humanity was taken, and you’ll never get to see it again. 
He had been struck by the sight of his initials on your arm, though. And you’d spent one of those nights with him tracing his thumb over the letters. It was sweet, it was familiar. It made it feel like things were somehow still a little bit the same. 
Usually he comes to you with his notebook. The pages are covered in flashes of memories that he’s been having. The problem is he can’t piece them together, and he can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t. 
You can only do so much, you can only help so far. But you’re more than happy to. It’s a bit of an out of body experience to read the memories of you from his perspective. Sometimes it’s more than just a memory, sometimes it’s a feeling too. 
And those are somewhat reassuring to hear. To know that pieces of you still find a way to stick around. To know that parts of him are still in there beyond what they did to him for all those years. 
But tonight seems to be different if the sight of the letter from Rebecca unfolded on the table beside the gun is any indication. It’s your own fault, you’d left it on the bedside table last night. You’d gotten into the habit of rereading it whenever you felt low. He was curious, so he gave it a read. And you’re not sure how he might feel about what he found. 
But you don’t want to push. Because right now he’s just looking at you. And there’s some bit of the way he used to look at you in his eyes. Like you’re more than just someone he can trust. It’s like meaning has truly been assigned to you. Meaning that he can’t quite comprehend. And you’re really the only person who can clarify.
Even if clarity feels a bit beyond reason right now. It feels like a trap. Remembering the past isn’t the comfort that you used to think it was when you first woke up. It feels like feeding into delusion. Dreaming of something you can never get back is a waste of time, it’s better to adjust. To suck it up and drive on.
But that’s not always the healthiest way to go about it.
He moves then, but it’s not quick. Not in the blink of an eye kind of way. It’s slow, measured. So that it doesn’t frighten you or make you flinch. His metal hand closes around the letter as gently as possible, picking it up from the wooden surface before he holds it out in your direction. 
Your fingers wrap around the familiar paper, and you hold it in your lap as you look down at it. There’s a laundry list of things that he could want to know. But you figure you should start out small. You start with things that are seemingly harmless and won’t strain him too much. And if he wants to know more, maybe he’ll ask.
“Your sister gave this to me, a few years back. She said you sent it to her before, um, before your accident. It was the last letter you ever sent.” You say, and then you reach over to pull open the drawer on your bedside table. You pull out the photo that came with it and carefully hold it out in his direction. He’s hesitant to take it, but after a few seconds it’s pinched between his fingers. 
“She, uh, she died about a year ago. She’s buried in a cemetery near Brooklyn. I can take you there some time, if you’d want to see her. Say goodbye.” 
You hadn’t had a lot of actual, biological family that you left behind. You’ve stopped at your parents’ graves and you’ve said your goodbye. You’ve said your peace. 
You’ve apologized to your mother for not giving her the life she expected. For not being the daughter she wanted. For not giving her the opportunity to be a grandmother and watch you move into that perfect life with the husband, the kids, and the white picket fence. 
But it’s not really the kind of life you would’ve wanted. It would’ve made you miserable. But maybe if he’d made it back from the war. If you’d gotten the chance to go and live that perfect life with him. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad. 
Maybe a nice house, a good marriage, and the sound of little feet clamoring down the hall could’ve been good for you. A nice, simple life. It’s something you wish you had the opportunity for now.
You’ve dreamed about it, and it always leaves your heart feeling a little hollow in your chest when you wake up. Because it’s not real. It doesn’t exist. It never will. Because even if you manage to come back from this, even if he manages to find some semblance of himself again, it will never be like that. 
“The letter.” He says, and his voice is rougher than you’ve ever heard. You wonder how long it’s been since he last spoke. “I said…”
You wonder which part he’s referring to. He’d told Rebecca that there was this girl he’d fallen in love with. She was nothing like he’d expected, but he didn’t want to continue his life without her. That, once all this was over, he wanted to bring her back to Brooklyn and marry her. To have this huge ceremony and make his mother proud. 
And then for the honeymoon, he wanted to take her on this great vacation. He was writing Rebecca for her help in finding a good place. Some nice beach that would offer no distractions or interruptions. He wanted to find a place where there was no stress and no responsibility. Where the world wouldn’t be weighing down on their shoulders.
He was talking about you. He told her he loved you before he’d even kissed you. He wanted that type of future with you. 
He wanted the white dress and the ceremony. He wanted the kids and the house and the white picket fence. He wanted that vacation, the one you two had joked about on that first night you got to know each other. 
He wanted everything. And now he’s a man who’s used to having nothing. No identity, no sense of self. He’s without most of his memories. He’s not that person anymore and neither are you. You can’t expect that even if he could remember that he’d still want any of that with you. 
“You said you loved me.” You say, fiddling with the curling edge of the page. “You never told me that. Maybe you were going to, but you never got the chance.” 
You’re fully convinced that he would’ve said it if he made it back. That you would’ve been able to actually hear those three words from his lips. That, if he made it back, things would’ve been great. They would’ve been perfect. 
You would’ve been swept up in his arms, and a kiss would’ve been pressed to your cheek And then another to your lips. And then, in the middle of the celebratory crowd, he would’ve told you that he loved you. And it would’ve been like you were the only two people in the world despite the noise. 
If he made it back all of the dominoes would’ve fallen differently. Steve wouldn’t have crashed the plane. You all would’ve been alive and well. You would’ve gone back to Brooklyn and you would’ve built a beautiful life. If it had been different. If it just could’ve been different.
“I never said it either. But I felt it. And I was going to say it, I would have said it.” You say, leaning forward just slightly enough for his dog tags to dangle in front of your chest, “I wish I said it.” 
You bring your eyes back to his face only to find that he isn’t even looking at you. He’s looking at your necklace, at the tags hanging from it. He’s reaching forward, but it’s like he doesn’t even realize it. He only hesitates at the last possible second, but you don’t let him. 
You reach out, albeit a little too quickly that it has him a bit spooked, and wrap your fingers around his metal wrist. You can feel him stiffen, but he seems to relax the least bit as you move his fingers to wrap around the beaded chain. 
The low light catches his name etched in the metal, and you’re not sure what this means to him. You know what it meant to you then, you know that it means even more now. You have never once bothered to take them off. 
They’re always close to your heart and you don’t want them anywhere else. But you’d give them up for him. If it would help, if it would spark something, you’d let them go.
“You can have them back if you-” You start, but then his eyes snap up to you and it seems like that’s the last thing he wanted to hear you say. He pulls back the least bit, but his fingers don’t drop from the chain. 
“No.” He says, and you smile the smallest thing possible as you look at him. But it doesn’t last long because soon enough he’s standing from the chair. He’s slipping the gun from the table into his waistband, and then he’s heading back towards your window to leave the way he came in. But you can’t just let him go that easily.
“Am I gonna see you again?” You ask, and he stops with his hands on the window frame. He turns his head over his shoulder just slightly, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t nod. He doesn’t give any real hint of an answer. And then he’s gone.
— — —
The world has never felt closer to ending than it does right now as you stand in a government office building staring at the monitor and watching as Bucky is held prisoner, restrained, in a glass box. 
The world can’t seem to give anybody a break. Not a few days after your friend’s funeral, not when there’s a bombing on the day that the Sokovia Accords are meant to be ratified. 
Not when two of the closest people in your life are just a few feet away, separated by glass walls, arguing like their lives depend on it. 
It’s all just a little too much.
Natasha is only a few paces to your left. Her eyes are just as glued to the screen as your own, and you know that you both have the feeling that none of this is going to end well. Either way this goes it will only end in heartbreak and the dissolution of the team that has made you feel at home in this new century. 
And you’ve had just about enough. 
You storm into the glass room with very little care for appearances and slam your hand down on the table to grab their attention. 
“Enough!” You shout, and it reverberates loudly enough that it could almost crack the glass. “Can the two of you just shut up?”
And, to their credit, they both stop. And the silence feels like an uncommon bliss for your pounding head.
“I’m tired of your little pissing contest. It doesn’t matter who’s right. You’re both right. But that does not matter right now. It matters that people are dead and they’re looking for someone to hang a sentence on. And it was not him.” You say, aggressively pointing your finger in the direction of the monitors. “And we all know it.” 
You hear Tony sigh your name, and your gaze snaps to him as he looks at you with the sorriest of expressions. 
“Look,” He starts, but you shake your head. You’re having none of it. 
“I know what you’re going to say. And this is not wishful thinking. I know they have evidence, but we all know that can be easily fabricated. It wasn’t him. He’s not that kind of person.”
“You don’t know him anymore!” Tony shouts, looking like he regrets it as soon as he says it. “I’m sorry, but you don’t. He is not the person you knew in the war. You haven’t seen the guy in years. You don’t know if this is something he would do.”
“I do!” You argue, “I’ve been seeing him for months.” That’s enough to make a pin drop in the formerly loud room. 
“What are you talking about?” Tony asks, and you watch as Steve sits up in his chair and focuses his gaze on you.
“He’s been sneaking into my room at the compound. He’s never threatened me, he’s not violent.” You say, eyes practically pleading with Tony’s to get him to believe you. 
You know he has the greatest level of pull here. Natasha’s loyalty to Steve raises a red flag if she were to plead for Bucky’s freedom. And neither you nor Steve are reliable sources because of how close you are to the suspect.
Tony has no skin in the game, he has no connection to Bucky. They may believe him, they might actually give him the time of day.
“Tony.” You say, and his eyes find yours once more. “Please.” 
You think you’re getting through. You think you’re making headway, like he might actually take your side on this in spite of the Accords, but then the alarms start blaring. The red light starts flashing, and your gaze snaps to the monitor where you see Bucky struggling in the cage.
“Shit.” You mutter, and then you’re taking off through the doors and down the hall. You can hear Steve’s footsteps thundering behind you. 
When you finally make it down to the scene it’s all in shambles. The doors are caved in, the liaison is nowhere to be seen. Neither is Bucky. You feel him before you see him. 
You’re slammed into the metal of the elevator doors and you lose your footing almost immediately. You wince slightly as your back collides with the cool tile beneath you. And then he’s towering over you, staring at you with eyes that are completely void of emotion. Eyes that are without recognition. It sends a chill through your bones. 
“Bucky,” You start, as you try to push yourself up unto your hands. But the sole of his boot comes down to press on your wrist, hard, right over your tattoo. It pins you down, you're fairly certain you hear your bone snap. “Please.” 
You’re moving your leg, about to try to use his weight against him, when he reaches down and wraps his hand around your neck. He pulls you up off the ground like you’re nothing more than a rag doll, like you’re weightless. And then you’re being shoved back into the wall, held in place solely by his hand on your throat.
And then he squeezes. He applies pressure and your breath is stolen within a matter of seconds. It feels like each breath is an effort and you’re practically choking on the supply that is left in your lungs. Your hands are scratching at his wrist, not that it does much against the vibranium. It doesn’t even leave a scratch. 
“Buck…” He applies a little more pressure and the sound of his name dies in the back of your throat. Your hand closes around his wrist, and you try to pry his hand away from you. But it’s no use. 
He applies the least bit more pressure, and your eyes are rolling back into your head. Your vision is blacking out, and then a few seconds later the pressure is lifted. His presence is beyond you, and you’re falling to the ground. Your head smacks against the tile on your way down. 
— — —
The incessant beeping is what brings you back. You’re trapped in an unending black abyss because you can’t seem to muster up enough energy to pry your eyes open. Everything feels fuzzy. It’s like your fingers are static and have entirely dissolved from the rest of your body. The way they tingle is almost annoying. 
Your throat is perpetually dry to the point that it’s as compromising as an itch that doesn’t go away no matter how much you scratch it. You feel the strangest tickle start to work its way up, and you clear your throat in an attempt to stop it. But the sound of it dies in the back of your throat in the most acidic way. 
The feeling sinks back down into your body as your shoulders sag into the hard mattress beneath you. You groan despite yourself, and it’s only then that you hear some shuffling from the other side of the room. 
Your head tilts to the right, and in the dim light of a hospital room with the curtains drawn, you spot a familiar silhouette slouched in an achy hospital chair. Whether it’s from exhaustion or annoyance, you really can’t be sure. 
That same irksome tickle starts to work its way back up your throat, and you feel like maybe a good sip of water might have a shot at combating the sensation and its maddening nature. 
You spot a cup of water on the table beside you, with a bendy straw at the ready, and it feels like the answer to all of your momentary prayers. 
You go to reach for it, even if it feels like your arm is a stranger to the rest of your body, only to find your range of motion is rather restricted.
Your eyes drop, albeit slowly, to where your wrist hovers above the thin blanket. The peculiar part is the metal handcuffs that cage in your right wrist, and then as your gaze drifts a few millimeters further you see that it’s attached to the handrail on the side of the bed.
You tug against the restraint, figuring you can probably make quick work of its demise, only to find that it won’t budge. You know you’re a little low on energy right now, but you know you can break a damn pair of handcuffs. With the serum still surging through your body it should be a breeze. But it isn't. The cuffs are still fully intact, no matter how much you struggle. 
The metal clinks against the plastic handrail with each pull, and it’s the only sound reverberating in your mind until you hear:
“Good, you’re awake.” It brings your focus back over to that little chair in the corner by the closed bathroom door. Your gaze settles on Tony and you open your mouth to speak, but the sound that comes out is the weakest thing you’ve ever heard. Your unchained hand reaches up to touch at your throat as Tony leans forward in his seat. “Yeah, the doctor said it’ll be hard to talk for a while.” 
He sounds a bit remorseful at that, and you can tell his eyes are fixated solely on your neck. You wonder what it looks like. You wonder how bad the bruises are.
But you have a more pressing question. You tuck your arm away from the bed once more, and the cuffs slam against the handrail in an abrupt, and aggressive, clank. Tony drops his head with a chuckle, although it’s entirely void of humor.
“Vibranium.” He answers, like it really tells you much of anything. “I got them from Ross. And,” He says as he rises from the chair, “before you pitch a fit; no, you’re not under arrest.” 
You yank your wrist from the bed one last time, it hurts like a bitch, in a demand for clarification. It’s the best you can do given the current circumstances, and you’re growing impatient. You’re sure he can tell. 
“Word on the street is that your boy is going to make a break for it at the airport in two hours. Steve’s with him, and a few other strays. I needed to make sure you were accounted for, I can’t have you getting caught in the crossfire any more than you already have.”
That’s the one thing you’ve taken issue with about Tony throughout this whole Accords situation. Everything he’s doing is under the guise of protecting his people. He swears it. But it doesn’t feel like protection. It doesn’t feel like care. It feels like control, and they are not the same thing. 
He may be working with the best of intentions, you’re certain he is. But good intentions tend to have bad outcomes. He thinks that he’s doing what’s right and that he knows the best way for the chips to fall. But he doesn’t. At least not this time.
Because the evidence is not enough this time around. Not for you. And, sure, you’re absolutely convinced that he believes you’re fully biased and that you wouldn’t be able to agree that Bucky is guilty out of your own sentimentalities. But it’s more than that. 
You’re more objective than that. The evidence feels weak, it feels purposeful. Bucky has enough of a skill set to not get spotted so easily if he did something like that. It was too easy and that, in and of itself, is enough to leave you unconvinced.
“Tony.” You try, but it dies halfway out of your mouth. It’s brittle and it’s raspy. It doesn’t even sound like you. It’s disheartening to say the least. 
He drops his head as he braces his palms against the plastic at the foot of the bed. It’s like he can feel the disappointment radiating from you. But you know that all of this is well beyond his capacity for patience.
Someone is going to get hurt no matter how you slice it. Even though he has no intention of hurting anyone, he just wants to stop them. But you know that it won’t end without a fight, and it kills you that he’s trying to keep you on the bench. 
Someone has to try and keep this team together, and if you’re absent it looks like you’re taking a side. And the last thing you want is for anyone to believe that you’d ever be on the team that is hunting Bucky for sport. 
“You can’t.” It seems to be the wrong thing to say if the way Tony’s hands squeeze around the railing is any indication. “They’ll kill him.”
His gaze snaps up to yours, and he seems the least bit sorry about this turn of events. You’re never one to bet on what’s going on in Tony’s head, but something in the pit of your stomach tells you that he’s just as aware of the possible fallout as you are. You think he even wishes that there’s something he could do. 
This is all so far out of your realm of control that it’s sickening. You know with the charges racked up against Bucky there’s no way that he makes it out of this alive if they bring him back in. He has decades worth of deaths to atone for, and no one will be happy with just sticking him in solitary for the rest of his abnormally long life. 
He’ll face lethal injection, you’re almost certain. And you’re not sure you can live with that. You’re not sure you can live with sitting in a gallery and watching through a pane of glass as he’s taken away from you. For good this time. You can’t sit there fighting to keep your eyes on him so you don’t have to watch as the last trace of him slips from your skin permanently. 
If that’s how all of this plays out it will prove that the universe is crueler than you ever could’ve thought possible when you were that fifteen, going on sixteen, year old girl who would rather stare at the ceiling than sleep and possibly miss the moment the letters appeared.  
You’re not sure you can take losing him again. 
“You can’t let them…” You cut yourself off with a coughing fit from your aching throat, and Tony is quick to round the bed and grab the cup of water from the bedside table. He holds the cup just below your lips, and you’re grateful as you get the least bit of liquid out of the straw. It’s soothing, barely, but it’s better than nothing.
You look up as you pull your head away from the cup, and you notice how Tony can barely bring himself to meet your eye as he places it back down on the table. It feels like a stalemate. It feels like the split second before they blow the whistle to start a game of tug of war. And then it’s over, the peace is gone as quickly as it came and you’re pulling as hard as you can. You’re trying to gain leverage so you don’t end up with your ass in the dirt.
But the other team is stronger. They have an advantage. They have a greater pull. And they aren’t going to take it easy on you. 
“Tony,” You say, if only for the purpose of regaining his attention, “Please.”
You’re not usually one to beg, usually you consider yourself above the idea of pleading with anyone. And you know you tried it earlier. You know that your words fell on unwilling ears just a few hours ago when you were standing with those glass walls. But you have to try.
What is love if it’s not last ditch efforts and hail marys? 
“There are guards posted outside the door.” He says, gesturing weakly towards the metal door a few feet away, “They’re under the order to keep you here under any means necessary.” 
Your eyes widen and you shake your head as you stare up at him. He at least has the decency to look sorry. You wonder if this was all his idea, if this level of treachery was his brain child or if it came from the likes of Secretary Ross. You’re really hoping it’s the latter.
“Please don’t give them a reason.” He fixes you with one look, and it doesn’t feel like he believes he’s punishing you. It feels like he’s begging this time around. It’s like the last thing he wants is for you to be hurt more than you already have been. So, he’s asking you to keep yourself in line. He’s asking you to be right in this exact spot when he returns.
You’re not sure you can stomach that.
“Tony.” You say, pulling against your restraints again as he starts to put some distance between himself and the bed. “Tony.” You tug once more, it’s almost rapid at this point. The clanging sound grows in its repetitive nature as you try to pull yourself from the mattress and free your hand from the shackles. 
You keep calling, even once he’s beyond the doorway. Your eyes track through the blinds covering the window just beside the door, and you can see through the slats that he’s gone over to the nurse’s station. 
Your voice, even in its weakened state, manages to carry enough that it’s inevitably disrupting the rest of the patients on the floor. If there even are other patients on this floor. You wouldn’t be surprised if they kept you on a restricted floor.
You can see the nurse’s slightly panicked stare flick towards your door, and a slight frown takes over her face as she nods in response to whatever Tony is saying. And you haven’t the slightest clue what he’s said, but you know that you despise the fact that this woman has acquiesced so quickly.
You know it can’t be anything good.
That much is confirmed as you watch the nurse round the counter and approach your room, although there’s a timidness to her stride as she slips in through the door and beyond the guards. You can see Tony following fairly close behind her, but he stops in the open doorway. 
Your heart is pounding as she gets closer, and you focus on her for a few seconds as she fiddles with a cabinet to your left. She’s young, maybe thirty. She still seems sweet, like she hasn’t been beaten down by the world. You wonder what she’s done to get assigned to this detail.
But none of that matters when you watch her pull a syringe out of a basket and grab a little vial from the cabinet. Your heart races as you watch her fill the syringe, and then, with an unsettling calm, she turns in your direction. 
“What are you doing?” You ask, trying to make yourself as small as possible. You push as far back into the bed as you can, trying anything and everything to put as much distance between you and that needle as possible. 
“Your friend said you’re experiencing some discomfort.” She says, trying her best with a placating smile that does nothing but make the hair on your arms stand up.
“No.” You say, shaking your head as you push yourself back once more like a scared animal. And she just fixes you with the gentlest of glances.
“Everything is going to be just fine.” She says, and then she’s at your bedside. She’s grabbing hold of your IV as fear spikes in your heart.
“I don’t-” You start to say just as she’s pushing down the end of the syringe and the drug is pushed into the line. Your gaze swiftly moves from her to where Tony is still standing in the doorway. You’re almost certain that there are tears shining in his eyes. 
Gradually, over the next few minutes, your movements slow. You stop struggling against the cuffs, and your body seems to relax into the mattress beneath you. You don’t peel your eyes from Tony, not for a while. 
You’re not even sure how much time has gone by, you just know that he’s not in the doorway anymore. He’s leaning against the wall opposite your room, and he seems to be reconciling with the reality of what he’s put you through. 
You hope he realizes just how vile it is.
You keep your eyes on him until you physically can’t fight off the effects of the drug anymore. It must’ve been a strong dose if the weight of your eyelids is anything to go by. 
You’re struggling to keep your eyes open, it takes more effort than anything you’ve ever done in your life to try and keep them open between blinks. He’s the last thing you see before you lose the fight and your eyes finally close. 
— — —
“I can’t trust my own mind. So until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, going back under is the best thing.”
You pull your attention from the glass tube over to the man sitting up on the exam table and your heart breaks at the sight of him. He’s a little worse for wear, but not as bad as he was when Steve brought him here. If Steve’s talents for painting a picture are still so accurate all these years later.
You’d heard about the whole ordeal. About all of the other soldiers that Zemo had unceremoniously put down, and the truth about Howard’s death. Steve told you that he gave up the Shield, and, honestly, the mere mention of Tony was enough to put you in a bad mood right now.
The worst part about it is that you understand it. He was being strategic and taking a player off the board. He knows you well enough to know that you wouldn’t have been able to just stay put. Not even those handcuffs, or the guards, would’ve been enough to hold you. You would’ve dislocated your thumb to break free, and you would’ve thought of some kind of diversion to draw the attention of the guards.
You would’ve been on the tarmac with bells on if it meant you had half a chance at keeping Bucky safe. He understands that. If it had been Pepper he would’ve been in the same state. A part of you wonders if you can really fault him if you would’ve done the same thing. 
You’ve decided that, for the time being, the answer is yes. You need time to be mad about it before you can even entertain the idea of things being okay between the two of you again. 
You push away from the wall and take a few steps towards the boys. You watch Bucky’s gaze center on you and a piece of you eases at the reminder that he’s still here. For the time being he is still right here with you. You can see him and talk to him, and, if you’re feeling brave, you can touch him. 
“For everybody.” He finishes, and your shoulders sink as his gaze drops down to your neck.
You were smart enough to cake yourself in makeup this morning to hide any of the remaining bruising. Thankfully the expedient healing provided by the serum made it so that your bruises were faint. They were barely even there. But he’s a glutton for punishment and you knew he’d be able to find them anyway. So you made them undetectable. 
Steve seems like he wants to argue, and you don’t blame him. Your skin crawls at the idea of him being put back in one of those tubes. But it’s his call, one of the few decisions he’s made for himself in over seventy years. You aren’t going to fight him on it. 
That doesn’t mean it’s easy to watch him go through with it. It’s torture to stand next to Steve and watch as the lid slides up and seals him in the chamber. You actually can’t watch as the glass starts to frost. 
You kick yourself for not saying something. Anything. It felt like too wide a chasm to jump, especially since his gaze had been everywhere but on you aside from the times where he couldn’t tear his focus from your neck. 
The two of you linger by the chamber for a few minutes longer, almost like you’re waiting to make sure it worked. Waiting for word that he’s perfectly fine in there before you can even fathom taking a step away and leaving him like that. 
Eventually you’re able to pull yourself away, and the two of you navigate the seemingly never ending halls of the Wakandan palace. The sound of your footsteps echo down the corridor with each step forward. But it fizzles out rather quickly as the both of you slow to a stop outside of a grand window overlooking gorgeous fog covered mountains. 
The weight of the unspoken things between you and Steve has been on your mind for days. You can’t get over the betrayal in his eyes when you’d confessed to your rendezvous with Bucky over these last few months. You knew that you wouldn’t be able to get out of this without a little bit of explanation. 
You clear your throat with the least bit of hesitation before you say:
“Thanks for bringing me here.”
Steve was responsible for your arrival in Wakanda. If he could break into a highly secure government prison in the middle of the ocean, he could break into a hospital. You don’t have any recollection of the rescue. 
In fact, you hadn’t come to until you found yourself in an incredibly plush bed in the quarters of the palace. You’d found out that Secretary Ross thought it’d best to keep you comfortable. And by that he meant docile. He wanted to make sure you wouldn’t be a problem. 
Clearly he doesn’t know much about you at all. 
“He asked me to.” He says, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans against a pillar and fixes you with a glance that you don’t dare to meet. It feels loaded. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 
“I wanted him to make the choice.” You say, sliding your hands into your front pockets. “He’s had so little control for most of his life, I wasn’t going to be another person to call the shots for him.” 
He seems to accept that, although you can tell he’s hurt that Bucky didn’t trust him enough to come back and see him. It pains him that Bucky had been in the same place as him, separated by only a matter of walls, and he hadn’t had any idea. And it had been by design. You’re not sure the sting of that will ever really go away.
But you know that you have bigger fish to fry right now. Well, him more so than you. All you have to do is return to the states and find somewhere new to set down roots. You’re still not implicated in anything and you technically haven’t done anything illegal. As far as the government’s concerned you’ve been kidnapped by Steve Rogers. 
You know him well enough to know that he didn’t bother wiping the hospital security footage for this one. If there was ever a time to give Senator Ross the finger, it was right now. He’d more than earned it with the shit that he’d put your friends through. What he’d put Bucky through. 
Seeing Bucky’s name cleared, and the compassion that had been displayed by T’Challa and the Wakandans, had chipped away at the hardened bits of your heart. You’d been worried what would become of Bucky after all of this. 
He’d avoided a death sentence, but only narrowly. And you’re fairly certain that he won’t be staring down the barrel of a government pardon at the end of all of this. But maybe that’s just you being pessimistic. 
The only thing you can really rely on at the moment is your ability to see the worst case scenario. You’re not sure how to even break yourself of that habit because you know that it has rarely steered you in the wrong direction. And you’re not sure if anyone else is really operating with any sense of direction at the moment. 
All you know is there’s always a fight and you’d be a fool to believe it’ll be different now. 
“What’s next?” 
— — —
A world without the Avengers seemed like a bit of a foreign concept to most people. They’d gotten used to a team of heroes who would be there to protect them when their backs were against the wall. 
It had come with its own level of difficulty to let go of the team from the other side of the curtain. You used to have something to hold onto that could make the world make a little more sense, but it was gone before you really even knew it. Before you could really even learn how to miss it. 
So you sat and watched as the world around you changed again. You watched as Tony threw himself into his work and you waited for any word from whatever secret location Steve, Sam, and Natasha had themselves holed up in. It felt like being pulled between two sides, even if the choice wasn’t really one you could make. 
Even after what had happened in Germany. Tony had apologized. Well, he apologized in the best way he could. Even if the words “I’m sorry” never came out of his mouth. Even still, you’ve kept your distance. 
You decided that if the world was changing then maybe you should change with it, but not in the ways you did before. You should change in a way that actually serves you instead of everybody else. 
So you moved out of your apartment in the city as soon as your lease was up and you found a house further upstate. A house that Tony generously helped you pay for, even though you really didn’t want to take his money.
You purchased a house that was almost a century old, a relic of architecture and it felt too good to pass up. It felt like an opportunity to bring together the modern world and the world you used to live in. And it was heaven. 
Shutting out the world for the first time in over five years was more relaxing than you could’ve imagined it would be. You worried it was going to be mind numbing and that you’d be itching to be right back in the field purely out of habit. But it wasn’t like that at all. 
You settled into a life of grocery store runs and trips to the antique book store a few streets over. You got used to the ease of delivery for dinner and having a place that you can truly call your own.
You may have gone a little overboard when it came to the decorating. You kind of dove head first into it. Maybe it was a distraction from the way everything fell apart so fantastically, but at least it was productive. 
You found yourself caring about things like wallpaper or paint. It was meant to be more than just a place to sleep. And, piece by piece, it became a home.
It slowly came together with a green velvet couch, and a fresh coat of paint, and the most comfortable mattress you’d ever slept on in your entire life. It became a place that you felt good settling into. It felt good to find out who you are within those four walls. It felt like an entirely different life than the one you’d been living for so long.
But nothing good can last forever, you’d learned that lesson a long time ago.
You’d been corresponding with Steve every now and again either through letters sent to safehouses under aliases or calls from burner phones. There was no future where the two of you weren’t keeping in touch, not after everything, but you figured it was going to just be that. It would just be you guys talking every now and then.
But of course it got more complicated than that. Because about a year after you moved into your new place three fugitives turned up at your doorstep looking for a place to sleep and lay low for a couple of days. And you weren’t going to turn them away. Although some small part of you wishes you had.
It felt like they didn’t belong there. They stood out against everything and none of them could manage to relax into the furniture and make themselves at home. 
Maybe the life you’ve created can’t coexist with the one you had. Maybe you’re moving on from the things that have kept you afloat for longer than you can remember. It’s a strange thing to feel like you’ve outgrown the things that once felt like home. 
It’s even stranger to feel like you’ve outgrown the people that once felt like family. 
You showed Natasha to the guest room, which has been made up for months on the off chance that you’d be having visitors, and you fished a blow up mattress out of the back of your closet for Steve. Sam had been quick to claim the couch. 
And you barely slept a wink that night. You tossed and turned, and contemplated giving up on the tradition entirely. You thought about heading out to the kitchen and grabbing a midnight snack, but decided against it on the likely chance you’d wake your guests. 
The hours seemed to move so slowly as you stated at your ceiling with only the constant ticking of the clock to keep you company. 
You wondered how long they’d be staying. You’d kept your questions to a minimum, fully convinced that the less you knew the better. It’d be one less way to incriminate yourself. 
You’d grown a smidge more paranoid through life in the twenty-first century. Especially after the Accords. Some small, nagging part of you was convinced that Secretary Ross had eyes on you at all times to make sure you stayed in line. You’d seen black SUVs, with blacked out windows, every now and again. In the most innocuous parts of town. 
It made even the most peaceful of days feel like a reminder of the things that could be waiting for you if you dared to step beyond your purview. The sight of one of those SUVs through the picture window could make even this lovely little home feel like a cage. 
You wondered if they had eyes on you at that very moment. If they saw your guests arrive a few hours ago and if they’d already made a call to the secretary. You wondered who could be waiting on your doorstep in the morning. 
It’s the perfect reason to curl further into the covers and bury your head beneath the pillows to try and block out the harsh awakening of daylight. But you know it’s pointless. 
Sleep is not coming and it’s useless to even continue to try. Tossing and turning isn’t going to do anybody any good. It’s five-thirty when you crawl out of bed and you throw on some clothes. You lace up your running shoes and sneak out the back door for a chance to clear your head. 
You did a lap around the neighborhood. You even stopped at a cafe a few blocks over to grab food because it had been a while since your last trip to the grocery store and you knew the offerings for breakfast would be slim to none. 
You had only just gotten back, you were just putting pastries on plates and starting a pot of coffee, when a cell phone started blaring in the other room. And everything just went to shit from there. 
Before you knew it you were in London saving Wanda and Vision’s skin, and then, of course, that wasn’t the end of it. You were sat in the back of the quinjet with your fingers anxiously playing at the frayed ends of the seat belt strap on the way to Wakanda. 
You didn’t know much of what was going on. The details were still a little fuzzy. Steve had just stressed that there was a potential extinction level event on your hands, and really what kind of person would you be if you just sat it out and let it happen without even trying to help. You weren’t sure you’d be able to stomach the sight of yourself in the mirror if you did. 
The flight was fine, aside from the gnawing pit in your stomach that only grew with each mile you traveled. You weren’t sure what you’d find once you landed. You weren’t even sure if Shuri and her team had managed to cure Bucky of Hydra’s lingering hold. 
You’d corresponded with Shuri a number of times, but eventually, after long enough of no real progress, it just felt like watching hope die a slow death. 
It became a little too cruel to continue checking. You were sure Steve knew, you’re absolutely certain he knows what’s going on with Bucky. You’re sure he knows if he’s still on ice or not. But you also know that if Bucky wanted you to know that then he would’ve had Steve tell you. 
You’re not used to feeling like you can’t trust your friends, Steve least of all. But you just know that he’s been keeping this from you. And you can’t throw stones, you know you can’t because you kept Bucky’s visits a secret from him. You’re aware that feeling off kilter about the idea of this secrecy is hypocrisy at its finest. But you couldn’t help it. 
You couldn’t help the way the hairs on your arms stand up as the jet flies straight into a wall of trees only for them to disappear at the last second as the Wakandan palace comes into view. 
You unclicked your seatbelt clasp and the straps fell away as you stood and made your way towards the cockpit. You stopped when you were shoulder to shoulder with Steve and you could see the crowds of soldiers that were swarming the premises in preparation for whatever may be coming your way.
But there’s no sign of him yet.
And you know that he probably doesn’t look the way he did the last time you saw him. You know, if he’s even been brought out to thaw yet. You figure they’d recruit a great soldier for a situation like this. But you can’t even be confident in the idea of that. You won’t be until you see him. If you see him. 
The jet touched down not even two minutes later, and you watched as the walkway lowered and then you were face to face with T’Challa and the Dora Milaje. You hadn’t seen him in years. 
You haven’t seen him since the day when he extended great compassion and kindness in the face of his own tragedy. It was commendable. It was admirable. You’re not sure you would’ve been able to do the same if the roles were reversed. 
His eyes only met yours for a second, maybe even less than that, but it felt like a little too much. You weren’t able to hold his gaze, as though some part of you was disappointed in the infrequency of your own returns to Wakanda. It had been two years and you hadn’t set foot on Wakandan soil since that first time. And you should have. You know you should have. You were a coward.
You still are. Because as much as you want to see Bucky, as much as it would settle your unsteady heart to lay eyes on him, you’re scared of what you might find. You’re scared of the state he might be in. 
You’re nervous that his steps into a life in this future may be similar to yours in that they distance him from the things that confine him to the person he used to be. You fear that those memories, those people, only serve as reminders of the skeletons in his closet and the ghosts that haunt the graveyard of his heart. You worry that you’re one of them. 
You’re not sure you’re ready to face all of that. It’s why, until now, you’ve made yourself scarce. It had been eighty years since the two of you were planning much of anything together. It wasn’t a life, it was barely anything. It was a vacation, and it wasn’t even real. It was the butt of a joke. It was an escape beyond the hellscape you’d been residing in for all those months. You and Bucky weren’t anything, really. 
You were a matter of the cosmos. All the two of you had now was the idea that the universe believed the two of you belonged in each other's lives. But that doesn’t matter much anymore. You spot those letters on your arm at least once a day and it’s like time stops every time it happens. 
It feels like waiting on something that is never going to happen. And you can’t even be mad about it because he deserves the adjustment period that you’d had. He deserves the chance to figure out what he wants his life to look like once it’s in his control. He doesn’t have any ties to you. He hasn’t had any proof of it beyond the recesses of his memory since he took that fall.
He’s just Bucky. He isn’t Sergeant Barnes and he isn’t the Winter Soldier. He’s Bucky. And he deserves the chance to figure out who that is without the weight of anyone’s expectations.
But your brain and your heart can never seem to be on the same wavelength. Because all of that, all of that logic and reasoning, seems to go out the window when you catch sight of him. When you see him looking better than you’ve seen in years. When his smile and the shine in his eyes is the closest to the man you remember than it has been in the last five years. 
It’s hard to reconcile the differences. It’s difficult to keep yourself at a distance, even though you know it’s for the best. You want to be selfish, you want to be like Steve. You want to be standing right in front of Bucky and you want to wrap your arms around him. You want to give him a good long look and commit every last detail to memory, like you haven’t already done that a million times over through your memory over these last few years. 
You want to take ownership of all of the moments that were stolen from you over the last eight decades. But it is neither the time nor the place. So you stay where you are. You decide to be a bystander secluded to the outskirts and you try your best to be happy with that. 
You wish you hadn’t. You wish you had just taken a step forward, that you had dared to take up space when his eyes met yours. You wished you’d responded and taken the initiative to try when his eyes were practically beckoning you forward.
You wish you’d done everything differently. You wish you’d visited Wakandan more frequently. You wish you’d kept in touch with Shuri and gotten every single update to the point that you were someone she loathed hearing from. You wish you’d actually sent the letter that you’d written in the dark of a three am gloom during one of your first sleepless nights in your house.
You wish you’d grown a pair. You wish you’d done everything because now there’s no chance at all. Now you’re stuck standing in the middle of the forest, just a few paces behind where Steve sits in the dirt letting some dust slip through his fingers. Now you’re staring at the space where Bucky’s boots used to be and you’re replaying the sound of him calling for Steve on an endless loop in your brain. You’re waiting for it to take you too. Because the universe could do you that kindness, couldn’t it? Just this once, just this time around. 
You’re not asking much. You’re just asking for a chance at the things that you always should have had. Because you don’t know what kind of sick and twisted destiny the universe drew out for you, but it can’t be this. This is not the epitome of the stories that you were told as a little girl who was just far too excited about the world to even dare falling asleep at a reasonable hour. It has to get better than this, it just has to.
So you wait. And you wait. And you wait some more with your head tilted to the sky in the midst of people who have all gone bone chillingly silent. And you know that it’s over. You’re not going anywhere. He left you behind, again, and there’s nothing you can do to catch up. 
In a bit of a last ditch effort, as the smallest sign that there is even still a reason to have hope in the blasphemous universe, you roll up your sleeve. You let your eyes fall to your wrist and for the first time since your fifteenth year, there’s nothing there. It’s gone. He’s gone. 
— — —
Five years is a long time to live with the weight of colossal failure on your shoulders. It’s a long time to try and reconcile with such egregious loss and tremendous grief. It’s not nearly long enough.
You’re fairly certain you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting everything about that day. You’ll regret not being able to stop Thanos. You’ll regret not being able to save all of the people who disappeared that day. And you’ll regret all of the pain that has been left on the people who have been left behind.
That day has been more than enough to convince you that you had been on the right track after the Accords. Disappearing was the right call. Carving out your own little piece of the world had been the right move. Trying to change it, trying to regain the person you used to be, had been useless. It had been catastrophic, in fact. It had been a waste.
Five years offered plenty of time for reflection. Not that it has always been for the better, but it has been necessary. Things are different this time around. You’ve lost a million times over in the past, you’ve lost him six ways to Sunday. But this time is different, this time feels permanent. It took a while to become agreeable to that fact, and you aren’t the only one.
There are plenty of people who are still knee deep in the denial phase of the grieving process. They’re right there with you. Even if that doesn’t mean much. Even if it only makes it feel worse that all of you have been given the short end of the stick.
It doesn’t matter, not anymore. In a situation like this the only choice is to eventually move on and adjust to the way your life is now. Even if it’s something you’ll never be able to get used to. It’s almost as jarring as waking up in Tony’s lab. It’s almost worse than that. It’s numbing. But eventually going through the motions has to turn into agency. You have to start taking control because this is starting to look like the rest of your life, and you can’t just spend the rest of eternity wallowing.
No matter how appealing it might sound. It’d be all too kind to curl up under your blankets and never peek your head back out for a sliver of the sight of the light of day. It would be easier. Surely it’d be gentler than whatever is in store for you by getting out of bed every morning and trudging in on the face of your ineptitude.
Your friends had been worried at first. They’d taken turns, shifts really, in driving up from the city to check on you. They’d been doing the grocery shopping and they’d been telling you about the things they’d been hearing from the rest of the group. The latest team gossip, if you will. It didn’t do much. 
You barely even acknowledged them. And it was worrisome. You knew it was getting bad when both Steve and Tony had shown up and you could hear them bickering in the hallway about what to do with you. If they should get a professional in or to go as far as having you committed. They were all talk, you knew that much as you were laid up in your covers. Besides, it’s not like you were catatonic or anything. You still responded every now and then. You’d answered some of their calls.
You had enough of your faculties to operate the television and to send yourself into a spiral through the news tab on your phone. It just went beyond what they were used to from you.
It had only been a couple weeks. At that point you felt you were entitled to the opportunity to mourn the last eighty years of your history before you up and moved on with your life. You felt you should be allowed that kindness.
You told them that much. Although the use of the word telling was putting it too kindly. Your tone was less than sweet, but it was nothing short of genuine. Your throat was hoarse and your voice was scratchy from disuse. But it still carried over the sounds of their arguing tones, it brought both their attention to you. And it shut down whatever plans they were making.
It would have been a disservice to everything you’ve been through if you had just adopted the suck it up and drive on mentality. It would’ve been detrimental to just act as though nothing was wrong and just chug forward without a thought to everything you’ve lost.
It was unhealthy, yet your methods seemed more unhealthy on the surface level. You’re certain that the rest of them haven’t even given themselves a minute to breathe. They’ve just kept moving and have thrown themselves into anything and everything they can. They’re public figures and no one is going to be turning their help away at a time like this. No matter what the Accords might dictate.
You rejoined the world about a month and a half after the tragedy. You didn’t subscribe to the same level of public appearance as the rest of the team did. Which was fine because you’d always been categorized as a bit of a back burner Avenger. You weren’t one of the stars, you didn’t have instagram fan pages and you didn’t have people jumping down some stranger’s throat when they left a comment that even leaned towards anything less than positive. 
No one was banging down your door and demanding that you show up to this public outreach opportunity. You did it anyway, you showed up as often as you could. You made yourself available. You found yourself doing work through the Stark Industries outreach programs and you also split your time through Steve’s charitable nature. 
The public outcry for something from the Avengers quieted down after the first year. It was still appreciated. It was still recognized when any of you stepped up and did what any decent human being should do in a crisis like this. But it was less necessary, it was less needed. People weren’t reeling in quite the same way as they had been.
Many people were starting to accept the fact that the solution is entirely out of your hands. There’s nothing any of you can possibly do to fix it. Thanos had won. He had destroyed the stones, there was nothing any of you could do to fix it. The public seemed to come to terms with the reality of that sooner than any of you did.
It’s not like they had any part in stopping it, it’s not like any of them could really do anything to reverse it. It’s not something that should rest on their shoulders. But it’s a burden you are meant to carry. That’s what you get for going with them that morning. Even though the guilt would be worse if you hadn’t gone. You know that. You just wish there was no reason for guilt to be involved.
Eventually it proved easier to act like none of this happened in the first place. It was easier to lean the least bit into delusion and act like your life was exactly the same as it had been post Avengers dissolution. You made the decision to dive into the idea head first and create your own slice of paradise in that little house.
You had redone the renovations that you did when you initially bought the house, anything to just keep busy. Then, after about another year or so, you decided you liked having somewhere to go and something to do. So you got a job at that little antique bookstore a couple blocks over. 
You learned how to knit, which is something your grandma had tried to teach you when you were young and she didn’t want to deal with the exuberant energy of a child. You’re not particularly good at it, the most you can get away with is a scarf. But most of them just end up as unfinished scraps. At least it’s something to keep your hands busy as your latest binge watch drones in the background. 
You finally learned to cook. Realistically it’s still a miracle that you’d managed to dodge that part of the housewife lessons from your mother during your adolescence. But you find that you enjoy it when it’s a skill you possess beyond the sole purpose of making sure your husband doesn’t starve after a long day at work. Because God forbid a man should know how to fend for himself. 
But when you’re cooking for yourself. When you’re doing it for the enjoyment and experimentation of trying out something new. And the moment when you nail a dish that you’ve relentlessly been trying to perfect is a win unlike any other. There are probably well over a hundred cook books littering the house by now. Some have managed to make the shelf, but the others, the ones that are the most well loved, have wound up in a stack just outside the kitchen doorway.
You’re still absolutely hopeless at baking. Cooking is more like improv, and baking is like math homework. You have to follow the steps to the letter and one innocent little mistake can leave you with food poisoning in the form of a sad excuse for bundt cake. It’s not pretty. It’s better when you stick to seeking out your sweets from the grocery store aisle. 
You’ve caught up on practically every major pop culture moment since your freezing. Not all of them have been worth it, some of them just have not hit the spot. Others have been a rather pleasant surprise. 
It’s been easier than expected to settle back into this cozy little life. There are the occasional interruptions every now and then. You’ve had Natasha stay over for the weekend more times than you can count. The first time it had been at Steve’s request, he was worried about her. He felt she needed to get out of the compound and be reminded of the parts of the world that are still hanging around. She had, unsurprisingly, been reluctant to agree. But she eventually relented. 
You cooked, as you were fairly certain she hadn’t ventured away from good old fashioned takeout in a minute. It had gone well, so well that she had actually initiated the next stay over on her own without anyone else’s instigating tendencies.  
There had been dinner parties here and there in which everyone in attendance tried to remain civil. Turns out they’re not very good at that. Thankfully nothing ever got broken and raised voices were brought back down rather quickly. But it still got more out of hand than you would have preferred.
Your friendships could all coexist, just as long as they weren’t forced to have to be in the same room as each other. That had been a proven disaster, so the groups invited to dinner had changed over the years. You figured it was safer that way. Calmer. And the one thing you all deserve is a little peace after everything you’ve been through. 
So you committed to that ideology. You doubled down on the idea of happiness and serenity. Self sufficiency and the idea that you can make your life a happy one even if it hasn’t all gone to plan. It still feels a bit like lunacy. It feels like a child’s pipe dream, the kind that they have in an easy sleep. And when they tell their parents about it the next morning, it’s written off as being adorable. 
The idea of it had been so much simpler back in the day. The execution and the reality of it were probably close to the same. True happiness seems like it will be unattainable no matter what year you’re living in. Because people seem to be their own worst enemies and it seems impossible to ever be fully happy with what you have at your fingertips.
You’re designed for greed, just like everyone else is. That doesn’t go away no matter how much you try to ignore it. So you decide to channel that greed into other avenues. You channel into building new skills and finding new hobbies.
You funnel it into the garden in your backyard. You started it in the spring of the fourth year and you’d been going strong ever since. It had been going so well that you’d actually paid for a booth at the local farmer’s market in the heat of the summer and sold some of what you’d grown. It was by no means your chosen career path, you weren’t committed enough to it for that to be your reality. But the extra pocket change has been nice.
It’s also quiet and it gives you time to not have to think about the rest of the world and everything that goes on beyond your gate and your front door. You don’t even have to think about whoever is out for a jog down the sidewalk or is driving down the street to get to the movie theater for a matinee showing. 
The only thing you need to focus on is you and what you’re doing. Although, you’re not above admitting that you got distracted by the dog you rescued about six months back. He’s still a puppy, he’s still learning. And he loves attention, he absolutely eats it up. So, when you’re out in the yard, he’s never far behind. He loves to roll around in the grass, and, more often than not, he’ll stop next to you and roll over so he can get a belly rub. It’s cute. It’s an expected distraction, but it’s still cute nonetheless. 
You’re planting a new set of seeds, hoping that you won’t manage to screw these ones up like you did the last batch, when your arm starts tingling. Well, it’s itchier than anything else. You assume that it’s just a bug on your arm like it has been a million times before. You pay it no mind aside from quickly slapping at the spot to hopefully get rid of whatever might be heading on a little adventure towards your shoulder.
And it goes away. The feeling dies down and you almost forget about it. Until another twenty or so minutes go by and it happens again. So you move your hand, the one that is not currently covered in dirt, and scratch at the skin above your left wrist. The feeling is more incessant this time around and it takes a bit before it goes away. 
Just as you’re about to get back to work the feeling returns, but with a vengeance this time. It’s not just an itch. It’s not a buzzing nuisance that will become just mind numbing enough that you won’t even notice it after a while. It starts to sting, like your skin is starting to peel itself from your bones. It hurts like hell, and it gets you up off your knees and has you heading for the hose on the ground by the back door.
You rinse off your one hand and then dry it on the small towel you’d left on the table on the back patio. You walk towards the back door and pull your left sleeve up to get a good look at what’s happening to your arm. You nearly trip over the leg of a chair, coming to a stop in front of the kitchen window at the sight of it. 
The letters are back. They look just like they never left and you can’t even begin to understand how that’s even possible. Because they would’ve told you if there was a way to fix all of this, wouldn’t they? Wouldn’t they have wanted you in on it? Wouldn’t they have wanted your help?
You lift your head with a shake as you resolve to head inside and grab your phone. You’ll just give Steve a call, and he’ll explain everything. Except, you don’t get that far. When you lift your head you spot someone standing at the end of your driveway through the picture window at the other end of the house. 
Long brown hair, a bomber jacket, a somber expression. It doesn’t feel real. This can’t actually be happening. 
It seems like he’s working up the nerve to take the few steps and make it to the porch. It looks like he’s trying to find the courage to knock on the door and walk into the life that you’ve created. It doesn’t last long.
It’s like he can feel someone watching him, and his gaze moves towards the window and then he spots you just like you’ve spotted him. His eyes go comically wide, and you would be smiling if you could even really process what’s going on. You take a step to your right, and then another, and before you know it you’re heading towards your gate and you’re passing over into your front yard.
He’s taken a step back off the gravel path to the door and he’s down on the cement sidewalk by your mailbox when you make it around the side of the house. He looks worried, nervous even about what you might say. About whether or not you actually want to see him. Little does he know it’s one of the only things you want.
The closer you get, the more flustered he seems to get. He’s fiddling with the fingers on his left hand as you approach and he’s searching for something to say. An explanation, maybe. You’re not quite sure. You don’t much care. Not right now.
“Steve gave me the address.” He says, and it comes out in a rush. Like it’s an exhale of breath. Like it’s something he’s been holding in that he just needs to let out into the world. You don’t say anything, and he seems to take that as a bad sign. He flounders for something else to say. “I should’ve-” 
But you don’t care to hear the rest of it. Your momentum slows only slightly as you get in front of him and his eyes can’t seem to leave yours when you’re just a hair’s breadth away. Good. 
You reach up, cupping his cheeks, and pull his face down to press your lips against his. Taking the words right out of his mouth. 
Your entire soul is poured into that kiss, and he doesn’t seem to know how to respond. He freezes, bless his heart. His hands are dead in the air just shy of your hips. But you don’t pull away, you don’t give into the shock of it all. It takes him a few seconds, but then his hands are settling on your hips and he’s pulling you flush against him. You grin against his lips, you can’t help it. 
You pull away, just barely. His forehead is pressed against yours, and you grin through your own heavy breathing. Your eyes are still closed, but you can feel his stare on your face.
“I’ve been waiting eighty years to do that again.” You finally say, and you hear him laugh. It’s a shy little thing. It’s a reminder of the man who laid out under the stars with you, the man who asked you to dance in a pub amidst the noise of drunken revelry. 
“Was it as good as you were hoping for?” He asks, and you pull back just enough to be able to look at him. To see the little bit of nerves that he’s trying to hide with some hint of cockiness. You’ve missed it. 
You don’t bother to answer with words, you just lean up for another kiss and he doesn’t waste a single second this time around. Your hands slip from his face and then twine around his neck. One of your hands reaches up into his hair and tangles into the brunette strands. It’s heaven. 
You don’t ever want it to end. You curse the fact that you’ll eventually need to come up for air. After so long it feels criminal that something as trivial as breathing should get in the way of this moment. 
But there are some plus sides to those mandatory breaks. At least it means you get to look at him. You get to take him in and you get to see how healthy he looks. The same as he looked that last day in Wakanda. He looks healthy. And despite the weight of your lifetimes, he seems happy. There’s a glint in his eyes that has you smiling back at him before you can even really help it. 
You can tell that some of your neighbors have gathered on their porches and are watching the display. It’s not like you’ve been particularly shy about it. But you also find that you don’t care. Right now you don’t care about anything that isn’t Bucky Barnes.
“So,” He says, and it breaks you from your reverie as you bring your eyes back to his. “Did you ever go on that vacation?” 
You laugh, you can’t help it. You watch as he grins back at you, and you shake your head with the fondest of smiles as you pull him back in for one more kiss.
142 notes · View notes
jackiequick · 3 months
Text
7 times they were better parents to Tony than Howard was | Agent Carter Fanfic
Tumblr media
~ In other words, Elizabeth Stark and Jason Underwood being an married couple for 5 minutes straight
Tumblr media
Pairing: Jason Underwood & Elizabeth Stark
Character mentioned/included: Tony Stark, Howard Stark, Maria Stark, Edwin Jarvis & Ana Jarvis, Hank Pym, The Avengers & Young Avengers, Peggy Carter, Nick Fury, Alexander Pierce, Justin Hammer and etc
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe -> Agent Carter, Iron Man 1-3, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Avengers Age Of Ultron
Summary: Sometimes the best things in life happen when you least expect, such as becoming loving parental figures to a billionaire genius with a cheeky grin.
Note: Jason’s nickname is JJ and Elizabeth’s nickname is Liz
Ship Name: JALIZZY
Slight Warning: A bit of angst but mostly fluff
Click here for the latest fic featuring this family
Click here to see where our leading man fits in the Marvel Universe timeline
—————
Both were asleep in bed, when little 7 year old Tony walked into the bedroom and climbing into their bed.
Jason woke up first rubbing his eyes and sighed, "Bubba what you doing? We built you a new big boy bed last week.."
"Bad dream.." Said little Tony balling up his fist and getting under the covers, "..and Daddy is out."
"Oh right Momma visiting Aunt Peg for the week.."
"I'm sorry..c-can I stay?"
That moment Elizabeth woke up ruffling her nephew's bed head and yawned, "Sure, Bambino. But you wanna talk about the bad dream first?"
Tony looked down holding his teddy bear and mumbled, "I was in a dark and scary cave with a dragon..and I could not fight him, I was running but there no way to go.."
"Aww sweetie, look it's okay not every dream is gonna be a good one but you're okay. Everything is okay, you hear me?"
" I know..it's okay, b-but I was lost and scared..I did not save the princess..I fail.."
"Oh no sweetie, you didn't fail anyone. It was just a bad dream, there are no dragons here to hurt you."
"But the princess?"
"Maybe you will save her in the next dream."
Jason added with a tired smile, "Or maybe the princess already saved herself? Like auntie Lizzie or auntie Peg. And she's now waiting for you in the dream."
"Really?" Tony asked with a small smile.
"Yeah, sometimes it's the little prince that needs to go on journey to find the princess waiting for him in the end."
"Okay, I am ready to sleep now..and meet the princess."
"Out of curiosity, who was the princess?"
"Her name was Molly."
"Ohh nice name."
Elizabeth cut in with a chuckle, "Yeah very nice! Now we can please go to sleep and save the kingdom tonight in this dream?"
The boys nodded with a smile, cuddling up in bed with the lady of the house.
------
Elizabeth blowing raspberries on Tony's tummy as his giggles filled up the house with laughter. Jason was building up rocking chair in the living room and walked into the kitchen.
Jarvis was making lunch for them.
"Hey babe." He said with a smile, kissing her forehead then gave his nephew one on the cheek.
"Hi dear." She replied with a smile bouncing their nephew in her lap who giggled brightly.
It was a running gag but a sweet one calling each other pet names since the day they met. It went beyond, just them calling each other nicknames Jason called Jarvis's wife, Ana, honey and doll all the time as a term of endearment.
Tumblr media
"JJ!" Tony yelled in glee with a toothy grin, as both adults looked their eyes at his silliness.
Something that would carry on once Tony is older is that silly toothy grin of his, no matter what the situation is. Especially his giggles.
Jarvis set the table for them, as Jason rushed over to help him and cutting Elizabeth's food into smaller sizes. Ana joined them soon enough watching all of this in curiosity. However, it confused the British man, once they all sat down to eat.
"Why does Jason need to cut your food, Miss Stark?" Jarvis asked them as he ate.
"Just watch, dear." Ana added, curious knowing she will get an answer.
With Tony's booster seat resting between them. Ana grabs a glass of wine and sits next to her husband. Looking at the kid who are begin to eat but what caught Jarvis's eye was Tony’s other hand gripping Elizabeth’s left hand in a tight grip.
"Aww how adorable." Ana said with a smile eating her chicken.
"It is indeed but what exactly is happening? I might need an explanation." Jarvis questioned with a smile.
"Tony had this new habit where he only can eat if he holds Elizabeth or Maria’s hand. It started a few days ago." Jason explained chuckling as he ate.
"I don't mind it. It keeps him relaxed and allows me to make sure he's doing alright while eating." Elizabeth replied eating with her other hand.
"What happens if you remove your hand?" Ana asked, in love with the way Tony's happily eating.
Elizabeth lets go of Tony's hand and all of them looking at the youngest Stark who started fusing while chewing a piece of meat, one hand starts waving asking for his auntie’s hand.
Elizabeth just let Tony wrap his fingers with her own in the meantime as Ana chuckled and Jarvis snorted with a smile.
"Howard tried it yesterday, removing Tony's hand away from Maria and he just cried. Not pretty." Jason added chuckling.
"It was hilarious!" Elizabeth told them as she snickered, "My brother promised to let him sleep with their room last night, if he stopped. Howard was third wheeling."
------
“Will you please go to sleep now? You're a growing boy, come on please do it Uncle JJ.” Jason sighed and rubbed his own face with his palm.
“No way.” Tony runs “I wan Liz…”
“I give up.” Jason buried his face in the kid’s bed
Jason finally gets up and walks to the living room where his best girl is reading something from her notebook. Watching Tony just dive to her lap startling the woman.
“What the-?” Elizabeth jumped out of reflex “I-shouldn’t you be in bed and counting sheep?”
“I’m not sleepy.” Tony shakes his head.
“Well, I am.” Jason sighed and sat next to Elizabeth looking into her eyes hoping she understood the silent help signal, "No more kids, one is enough.."
Tumblr media
That was when Hank Pym called as Elizabeth put him on the speaker and started talking with him as she tried to put her kid to sleep.
"Lizzie is this a bad time?" Hank asked while on the phone, hearing Tony mumbling in the background and Jason's voice muttering something.
"No, Hankie it's fine. Someone's allergic to sleep just like his father, I'll pay you 500 bucks if you can get him to sleep." Elizabeth replied jokingly.
"I'll see what I can do. Do you remember the equation use for invention you and Howard were making?"
"Actually, yeah I do. The one for that android prototype? Yeah I do."
"Good because I thinking we can use for this new formula I was creating."
Both scientists go to work, talking with the equipment and possible new investments they would make that month to present to the others. Laughing and gushing about their week as well.
Jason was napping when he was accidentally smack on the shoulder due to Elizabeth's excitement how on they can improve the formula for the shrink ray.
"Ow!" He shouted softly, being woken up.
"Oh, sorry JJ. I was just, you know." She replied trying to explain with a chuckle.
"I know let me take this little guy off your hands."
"Alright."
Both expected to find Tony still awake on his auntie's lap but he nodding off as they spoke. They chuckled quietly thanking Hank's believing their science talk tired him out or something.
He picked him up as Tony's head rested on his shoulder, his eyes were trying to stay open as he mumbled, "I'm not tired...no sleepy.."
"Oh yes you are, Bubba. Very sleepy." Jason said with a soft chuckle with sighed, "Say night night."
Elizabeth stood up cupping his little face mumbling sweet nothing into his ears as Tony hummed a soft, "..night night."
"Night, my little star." She replied with a soft smile, deciding to help tuck him in.
They tucked in their little boy, turning on the recording on Maria Stark's gentle singing voice as background noise for Tony.
Moments like that, they both wished Howard and Maria were not busy sometimes but they're more than happy to raise the little guy instead.
----
As much as he is their little boy, he is Howard's son and that being said he was a little rebellious at time. Especially in his early teens and his years as an adult..
"Anthony Edward Stark, where the hell you think your going?" Elizabeth asked with her arms crossed and tapped her foot with a glare.
"Out!" Repiled Tony, who was 12 years old at this point with a classic smirk.
"It's Monday afternoon on a school night!"
"So?"
"So you're not heading out to whatever your heading off to! I don't care what it is, Friday it's another thing, I allow it. But Monday, hell no!"
"You're not dad, auntie Liz!"
"And thank god I ain't. Be lucky it ain't Peggy either, why do you want to head out anyway? To act cool with your friends?"
Tony sighed in defeat dramatically dropping the smirk and crossed his arms, "Well no shit. All my friends are doing it."
Jason stepped in after returning home from an getting supplies hearing his nephew, "Please tell you didn't just curse in front of your aunt."
"I just said 'shit'! Relax.." Tony replied with a sigh thinking of something knowing who's the softer parent, "And aunt Liz won't let me go out."
"First off no cursing at your aunt. And second, out where?"
"An party..all my friends will be there!"
"Is it on Friday?"
"Yup! It's on Friday, it's a small party."
Elizabeth scoffed, "No! It's tonight, an silly little stupid party with his friends doing god knows what. God knows if the parents will be there!"
"She's lying! She doesn't want me to have fun this week and stay stuck in this house, only invite to Rhodey or something." Tony shouted.
"Enough!" Jason yelled raising his voice, "I know she ain't lying and that you're the one who is actually lying. You know the rules Tony, no parties or anything on school night like Monday. And something tells me those kids parents don't know they're going to that party."
"B-but that's not fair! I should be allow to go." Tony yelled.
"No you shouldn't and it is fair, she’s saving you for tomorrow. She knows that something off is going on if it's on a Monday, simple as that. Doesn't that sound a little weird to you?"
"...yeah..it does."
"We will talk about this later."
A few more words were said before Tony left to the living room. Liz was pissed off and so was Jason.
He sighed and told her, "You were doing the right thing."
"I know.." She sighed, "I know. I'm just trying to protect him. Something tells me this won't be the last argument."
"Cause it won't. But we just try to lead him down the right path.."
"You got that right. Protecting him and all that.."
----
Road trips with the three of them tend to be something else. Tony always making himself known with questions, annoying them on purpose and snickering afterwards.
Tumblr media
"Where we going?" Tony asked in the backseat, playing with his jacket zipper.
"To meet Peggy and your parents in San Diego." Elizabeth replied like it was obvious with a smile.
"And why are you driving?"
"Because your uncle JJ has a bad history with driving."
Jason perked up, "I'm right here, you know?!
Tony snorted, "Okay what time we get there?"
"Midnight." Elizabeth said with sigh.
"What happens at midnight?"
"You're bedtime."
"Can I drive?"
Both shouted at the same time, "No!"
That resulted in Tony laughing at their response as both parents chuckled at his ridiculous way to make times like that a joke or two.
---
Sometimes Elizabeth tends to become a mama bear, as if she isn't already. Like when Tony started dating, Howard rolled his eyes chuckling at his sister and Maria gushed hoping her boy enjoys the dating scene.
Elizabeth on the other hand, she was so excited and sat beside Jason one afternoon while he was reading. He was reading a classic children's' book from the shelfs, 'The Giving Tree' when Elizabeth came with a grin.
"Yes my darling?" He asked looking up from the book with a laugh.
"Tony got a date!" She repiled with a smile.
"With who? I mean I'm not surprise our kid has been a cheeky little guy since the age of 3."
"You know that day Howard took Tony down to that event in Chicago? Well there was this nice girl there with her mother, Tony sneaked off to see her and now they met again due to her mother bringing her here for an clothing event. And according to Ana, he has a date."
"That's my boy. If he's not a gentleman, I'll ground him for life. Where to?"
"Ana said that caravel downtown this weekend. She was eavesdropping and I love her for it."
"Not bad for a first actually date with a girl he seems to like."
Elizabeth sigh assuming something, Jason knew that look on her face and ask her what's going on.
"I don't want to sound cheesy but he's growing up so fast, JJ! I mean where did the time go? It felt like I was helping him add 2 + 2 yesterday! Now a date? Damn..he's my baby." Elizabeth admitted with a sigh.
Jason opened his arms pulling her into an tight embrace as she was nuzzling comfortably against his neck. She pouted, it was a rare moment but she did. He chuckled rubbing her shoulder.
Tumblr media
"Aw, Lizzie, darling. He's growing up, I don't like it. Hell I would rather stop time and let him stay the way he is now. But we can't. Before we know it, he's buying his own house or deciding to buy this one off his father." Jason joked with a smile.
Elizabeth chuckled, "He might as well do that. I'm not ready for him to keep growing up, what if he doesn't want hugs from his auntie anymore? What if he grows up hating the idea of living with us? I mean it's a packed a house, i don’t blame him."
"Hahaha no, honey he won't. I think he rather have a packed house than a quieter one. And he will always need his auntie, he's your baby. Tony knows it, hell he might make you an godmother one day."
"Oh god no, don't think that far hahaha! I want him live in the moment now, before he's old and gray. I'm still gonna baby him no matter how old he is! You know that right?"
"Oh I know. And he's gonna be annoyed but love you for it. No matter what you do, you will be there to protect him and stand up for him."
"You too!"
"Oh hell yeah I will!"
---
And they are right about that. Yeah sure, Lizzie was gone under the ice for years due to a freak accident thinking she was goner. Having Jason and Tony feeling down in the dumps for some time.
But when that girl returned, her mama bird side came with her. And the man who was her right hand was more than happy about that.
"He's insane!" Liz yelled with a sigh, pointing at her nephew, "You're insane."
"Hello?! Have you met me?" Tony replied with a chuckle, "I think Pepper would love a big bunny for an anniversary slash Christmas present."
"Okay I dealt the whole 'I'm Iron Man, I can do whatever the hell I want' thing. But your Tony Stark! My Tony Stark, use that head of yours is a big bunny a good idea?"
"JJ gets you big jewelry and spoils you! I blame him for my actions, the bunny stays."
"Oh jeez. Did you at least get dinner ready?"
"Yeah it's pizza tonight. Why are you acting so uptight lately?"
Elizabeth sighed, "I've been asleep for years in ice and I come back to find you as Iron Man. A superhero. I know it's been an year now, but a part of me is still scared your gonna blow it!"
Tony chuckled pulling his auntie into a hug, "Oh Liz, it's me we're talking about. Hell, JJ is still terrified for my life. And honestly, I've already it blew it last year, in New York. I am stressed but I will be fine.."
"I know about your late night snacking and sleepless night, Tony. I'm worried about you. We all are."
"I know you are..but if anything happens, I will tell you. I promise."
~~~
Last forward to Christmas time, once the house blew up and JARVIS announces Tony's anxiety problems to everyone after arriving at the snowy side of the U.S. before shutting off.
Tumblr media
Soon enough, they're dragging themselves across the snow to find a safe house. Rei's suit is being dragged across the snow, as he decide to start helping his godfather.
Liz snaps, "Anything you want to tell me?!"
"Okay in my defense I was gonna tell you soon." Tony winced.
"When?!"
"I was gonna make you an omelette and tell you about it!"
"Oh my god!"
Jason sighed dragging the Iron Man suit with them across with snow as the night fall onto of them.
"You two knew about this?! This whole time and didn't think of telling me?!" Jason yelled.
"I thought you knew about this! Or that he told you!" Liz yelled back.
"Great, now Ma and Pops are fighting." Rei added sarcastically, "Good job, Dad!"
Tony turned look at his son, “I’m sorry, how is this my fault?”
“Isn’t everything?”
“This is unbelievable.”
----
Other times, Jason and Elizabeth would be protecting themselves or their kids presence even when the guy isn't nearby.
Such as 2014, when they were called by SHIELD when it came to Alexander Pierce wanting their signature onto the new helicarriers.
Jason was tired as he asked, "Okay Pierce, what the hell is this?"
Elizabeth was standing next to him and pressed, "Mr. Secertary, what he meant is there a reason you've asked us to come here?"
"Signature, Mr. Underwood and Miss Stark." Said Pierce holding out pens, "As well, I was hoping you ask your nephew to stop by my niece's birthday party as a favor for Nick."
"He's our nephew, not a party entertainer." Elizabeth said with a raise eyebrow.
"Unless it's for his own children, and at the moment he's not dealing with your favors." Jason added, "What's the favor you're doing for Nick?"
"That's classified information, sir." Pierce replied.
"Of course it is..you know, it was a pretty long day and I don't want to be here. Matter a fact, none of us want to be to here! So good night Alexander." Elizabeth said standing up from her chair.
Jason stood up following her, opening the door for the girl as he gave Pierce an odd look before walking out. However that didn’t stop Elizabeth Stark to get information later on that day, returning to Alexander Pierce’s office after cooling down to get any information needed.
——
Sometimes due to Jason and Elizabeth being so close to Tony, along with their godchildren they get mistaken for the actual parents. Hell, even for being a couple more than once.
Such as in the early to late 2010s, Justin Hammer once asked, “Are theses your parents, Stark? I thought they were dead..”
Tony would give an sarcastic smile and reply, “Aw Hammer, you’re jealous? Too bad not everyone was given 3 sets of parents.”
“Three?”
“Oh yeah, didn’t you hear? Or were you too busy washing yourself in that horrible 80s cologne?”
Justin scoffed, “Damn. But seriously, are they giving out set of parents for free or what?”
“No. They’re mine, you can’t have them.” Tony added with a smirk.
~~~
Tumblr media
Or when Fury called Tony and The Avengers out a few times, he will tend to bring JJ and Liz names into conversation, using the term parents. Such as in 2015, when they are all in Clint’s Barn. Also known as The Safe House.
Everyone was in the kitchen, including the teens and kids. Some were at the table such as Natasha, Bruce, Rick, Ava, Rei and Rochelle. Others were surrounding the area near the sink and fridge across from the kitchen island, such as Tony, Clint and Steve with Liane and Luna.
Clint’s wife Laura was listening in as the younger kids were wondering around.
Elizabeth was drying dishes as Jason washed them, meanwhile Fury was finishing placing some orange slices on a plate.
Nat spoke up, “You know boss, when I was hoping I saw ya, you would have more than that.”
Fury replied, “I do. I have you. Back in the day, I had eyes everything, ears everywhere else. You kids have all the things you can dream to use, Stark’s parents didn’t have much to work with beforehand but they made do. Now here we are, back on earth with nothing but our wit and our willingness to do good.”
Jason added, “Just like old times, huh? Rehashing a plan during dinner, then collaborating in the morning to figure out what can be done..”
“Ain’t that the truth. Nothing but our strength to save the world and make a difference for others.” Elizabeth commented with a grin.
Fury gave them a half smile and continued his speech, “Ultron says The Avengers are the only thing between him and his mission. And weather or not he admits it, his mission is global destruction. All this lay in the grave. So stand, out with the platinum bastard.”
Natasha winked at Rick and Rochelle before saying with a smirk, “Steve doesn’t like that kinda talk.”
Steve gave her a humorous mock glare, “You know what, Romanoff?”
The teens and young adults in the room snorted and chuckled. The group kept talking, figuring out what will they all do next, with the young members of the team chiming into the conversations.
Even Jason mentioned, “You can try Pentagon's firewall, are they open this time?”
“That could work, they are still roughly open this time and hour.” Elizabeth comments.
“Should i know why you know that?”
“I had to message the Pentagon years ago to reach an barrier of systemic risks, for SHIELD’s locating tactics. And Tony did something he wasn’t supposed to..”
“Oh god, what was it this time?”
Fury ate his orange slice answering, “You’re boy cracked into SHIELD systemic burns, but beforehand he cracked their firewall.”
“That’s something, I do think I remember he did!” He replied chuckling, “We got mysterious calls afterwards for weeks.”
Tony chimed in with a grin sounding proud and said, “I cracked the Pentagon’s firewall in high school on a dare and got a sweet deal afterwards.”
Elizabeth grinned brightly, “That’s my boy! Definitely a win in my books.”
“And me? I cracked into SHIELD firewall too multiple times.” Rei added with a sly smile, as you could hear his godfather holding back his laughter in the background.
“I love you too, kiddo!” She replied to her sarcastic godson, “Both of you are the reasons for the facility's cyber-security sub-bar.”
——
Thanks for reading! Feel free to add any HCs or chat about what you liked about the fic 💻
Please like, share, comment and reblog for more like this
Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @gcthvile @missstrawbs2001 @mallowbee4 @rooster-84 @rickb-chaos @starkleila @whitewiccan @infinetlyforgotten @meiramel @sherloquestea @missstrawbs2001 @djs8891 @buckysteveloki-me and etc
27 notes · View notes
squids-comics · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This has to be one of the most insane character introductions ever. I love this man and I can't wait until he's introduced in the MCU.
47 notes · View notes
murder-popsicle · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
0 notes
frasier-crane-style · 8 months
Text
Say what you will about 616 storytelling, but they at least had the basics down. Civil War introduces government control of superheroes, a situation ripe for abuse. Secret Invasion pushes events to the crisis point where a bad actor is able to take advantage of the situation and seize power. Dark Reign has him going mad with power until he’s finally brought down, leading to a temporary happy ending in Heroic Age.
MCU... they have Civil War, but it almost immediately stops mattering because in Infinity War, they just say it’s no big deal and ignore the SHRA, which I guess is undone off-screen and to no great fanfare? It never really affected Spider-Man or any of the Netflix heroes... aside from Ant-Man, of all people, being under house arrest, which was played for laughs as he had to outwit a dopey FBI agent to be a superhero... 
Now we have Secret Invasion, which I guess establishes that Earth is now virulently racist against aliens? Which may or may not be picked up on ever? And I suppose Captain America: New World Order or Thunderbolts could be a form of Dark Reign, but headlined by either Val or Thunderbolt Ross. Neither of them have made an impression as someone who you’d never want to be in charge of superheroes (and don’t get me wrong, Norman Osborn being in charge of superheroes was dumb, but at least you could see how it was bad news). They’re just generic authority figures who Marvel can call in when they need a talking head to give a briefing or other exposition.
So in 616, all this stuff led into each other, from A to B to C, while in the MCU, it all seems to happen in a vacuum and it’s all a sidestory anyway to the Kang multiverse stuff that ‘really’ matters. Nick Fury is still in charge or not in charge and SHIELD is now called SWORD or SABER. I don’t think the MCU did a lot with SHIELD being shut down, but at least it was a change-up. The MCU now doesn’t even have the illusion of change--any shift to the status quo might jostle one of the fourteen other movies or Disney+ shows in the pipeline.
You’d think corralling a few movies and miniseries each year would be easier to synchronize than countless comics, but somehow, the MCU seems to have lost any skill or ambition to tell an evolving storyline from year to year. What’s really changed since Endgame that can’t or hasn’t been immediately walked back? 
Doctor Strange has a third eye that turns invisible when he isn’t using it?
47 notes · View notes
bandaidfingers · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I had some fun a little while ago redrawing one of my favorite Sgt. Fury covers with my Nick Furry designs >:)c
Original cover under the cut. I swapped the title font for the font used in the Sgt. Fury reprints cuz I like it better lol
Tumblr media
13 notes · View notes
souurcitrus · 2 months
Text
Earth-18104
Since I started getting more into Marvel I made a bunch of OCs for the media, and with time I created a whole universe to insert them in the stories. So I'm gonna start posting here my personal time-line.
These events include stories from the comics, a bit of the cartoons and the movies. Many events or characters have their backstories changed and I will include my ocs here.
It's just a project I do for fun (and has been taking my mind in the last years help). It's not complete. There's still a lot to work but I got the basics.
Time-line
B. C - Events
• Okkara and the Enriched
• Birth of Apocalypse
• The Clan Akkaba
A. C. - Events
• Thanos' birth
• Creation of the Ten Rings
• Fall of Titan
15th / 16th / 17th Century - Events
• Odin brings the Tesseract to Earth
• Rise of Count Dracula
• Apocalypse and the Army of Darkness defeat Dracula
• Fall of Tenochtitlán
• Creation of Talokan and birth of K'uk'ultan
• Selene Essex becomes Lady Sinister
• Trial of Agatha Harkness
• Apocalypse is sealed by his subordinates
18th / 19th Century - Events
• Mystique's birth
• Victor Creed's birth
• Logan's birth
• Victor Creed and Tereza Márquez (OC) meet
• Howlett's Tragedy
• Irene Adler and Raven Darkholme meet
• Fall of Akkaba Clan
• Origins: Wolverine I
20th Century
1900 - 1930 - Events
• Origins: Wolverine II
• Wolrd War I
1940 - Events
• World War II
• Johann Schmist finds the Tesseract
• Steve Rogers becomes Captain America
• Bucky Barnes becomes his partner
• Phineas Horton creates the original Torch
• Sgt. Nick Fury and the Howling Commandos
• Foundation of Weapon X by Dr. Abraham Cornelius Truett
• Captain America dissappears and Bucky Barnes is taken by HYDRA
• Logan marries Itsu. Later she is murdered by the Winter Soldider and his son is taken
• Cain Marko and Charles Xavier become stepbrothers
• Wong starts his training in Kamar-Taj
• Howard Stak works for SHIELD
1950 - Events
• Cain Marko and Charles Xavier fight in the Korean War. Marko dissapears after finding the Temple of Cyttorak
• Max Eisenhardt marries Magda
• The original Torch dissapears / dies
• Logan meets Silverfox
• Magda and their daughter dies, Max Eisenhardt changes his name to Erik Lehnsherr
• 1950 Avengers
1960 - Events
• Charles Xavier meets Moira Mactaggert and Gabrielle Haller
• Sabretooth and Wolverine join Team X
• Adam Brashear becomes Blue Marvel
1970 - Events
• Professor X, Magneto, Mystique and Destiny create the first team of X-Men
1980 - Events
• Captain Marvel
• Ghost Rider
• The Incredible Hulk
• Iron Man
• Ant-Man and Wasp
• Hawkeye and Mockingbird
Age of Heroes - The first famous groups of heroes start to rise, the first conflicts earth went through after FF, the Avengers, the X-Men, the Decenders and the others formed.
1989 -
• The Fantastic Four
• Puppet Master
1990 -
• The Avengers
1991 -
• Jessica Drew works for SHIELD as Arachne
• Logan adopts Amiko Kobayashi
• Matt Murdock debuts as Daredevil
1992 -
• The X-Men (Cyclops, Marvel Girl, Angel, Iceman and Beast)
• The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
• X-Men VS Juggernaut
• Sam Wilson becomes the Falcon
1993 -
• Simon Williams joins the Masters of Evil as Wonder Man
• New Avengers (Black Panther, Hercules, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Hawkerye, Falcon)
• Jennifer Walters becomes She-Hulk
1994 -
• Sue Storm and Reed Richards Wending
• The Fantastic Four meets Black Panther
• Dane Withman becomes Black Knigt
• Z'Nox attack
• Wade Wilson becomes Deadpool
• Silver Sufer and Galactus
• Alex Summers becomes an X-Man
• Betsy Braddock becomes Captain Britain
1995 -
• Mesmero attacks Krakoa. Lorna Dane joins the X-Men as Polaris
• Patsy Walker becomes Hellcat
• Peter Parker becomes Spider-Man
• Jessica Jones becomes Jewel
• Heroes for Hire (Luke Cage and Danny Rand)
• Norman Osborn becomes the Green Goblin
• Natasha Romanoff leaves the Red Room and joins SHIELD, working alongside Mockingbird and Hawkeye
• Frankie Raye joins the Fantastic Four as Photon.
• The Avengers battle against Ultron and Vision
• Among us stalk the Sentinels! Ororo Muroe and Sean Cassidy join the X-Men
• Frank Castle becomes the Punisher
• Jean Grey absorbed the power of the Phoenix
1996 -
• Hank McCoy joins the Avengers
• Greer Nelson becomes Tigra
• Secret Empire
• Avengers / Defenders War
• Flint Marko becomes Sandman
• Second Genesis.
• Hulk VS Wolverine
• Cyclops starts a new team of X-Men (Wolverine, Storm, Thunderbird, Colossus, Nightcrawler and Sunfire)
• X-Men VS Erik the Red and D'Ken
• Wanda Maximoff and the Darkhold
• Darren Cross becomes Yellow Jacket
• Wanda uses her magic to create her sons
• Mystique and Destiny start a new Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
• Kitty Pryde and Alison Blaire join Xavier's Institue
• Dark Phoenix and death of Jean Grey. Cyclops leaves the team
• Kree / Skrull War
1997 -
• Days of Future Past. Rachel Summers and Lucas Bishop join the X-Men
• Cyclops meets Madelyne Prior.
• Rogue absorves Carol Danvers powers
• Rhino VS Spider-Man
• The trial of Hank Pym
• X-Men VS the Brood
• She-Hulk joins the Avengers
• Wanda and Vision find out their sons are magic creations of the Darkhold
• Illyana Rasputin is captured and taken to the Limbo
• New Mutants
• The Morlocks
• Rogue joins the X-Men. Logan marries Mariko.
• Beta Ray Bill!
• Venom arrives at Earth
• Hawkeye creates the West Coast Avengers
• Forge joins the X-Men
• Curtis Connors becomes the Lizard
1998 -
• Jean Grey returns
• Nathan Summers is born
• Mutant Massacre
• Madelyne is corrupted by the demon N'Astirh, becoming the Goblin Queen
• Asteroid M
• Fall of the Mutants
• Franklin Richards is born
• The Punisher took over the Assassins' Guild, and later became a substitute teacher while investigating drug trafficking at a school
• Wolverine and Jubilee work together against the Hand
• Gambit joins the X-Men
• Genosha X-Tinction Agenda
• Legacy Virus
1999 -
• Kree/Shi'ar War
• X–Cutioner Song
• Rise of Midnight's Children
• Maximum Carnage
• Fatal Attractions
• Bloodties. Fabian Cortez kidnaps Luna Maximoff
• Sabretooth goes to the X-Men after he starts losing control of his feral side
• Cyclops and Marvel Girl marry
• Generation Next and Phalanx events. Emma Frosts takes the new mutants as her students. Blink dissapears.
• The Hellions die
• Peter Parker meets Olivia Octavius, who later becomes Dr. Octopus
• Sabretooth escapes. Angel loses his wings
• Ozyamndias comes to warn the X-Men about the return of Apocalypse
2000 -
• Jessica Drew joins the Heroes for Hire
• Graydon Creed's assassination
• Apocalypse returns with his Knights
2001 -
• Mantis creates Adam Warlock. Later Gamora is sent to kill them, but decides to betray Thanos. With Drax, Groot and Rocket, they become the Guardians of Galaxy.
• The Thunderbolts
2002 -
• Sepent Crown's arc. Lemuria and Talokan are revealed to the world
2003 -
• Jessica Drew returns as a heroes and joins the Heroes for Hire with Cage and Rand
2004 -
• The start of Infinity Gaulent arc. Earth's heroes lose the battle to Thanos. Half of the Universe dissapears.
• The X-Men split in Team Gold and Team Blue
2005 -
2006 -
• Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson marry
2007 -
2008 -
2009 -
• Mayday Parker is born
2010 -
• The Avengers, X-Men, Fantastic Four, Guardians of Galaxy and Denfenders join forces to fight Thanos once more
• Thor becomes king of Asgard
2011 -
• The Avengers rebuilt their base.
• Scott Lang joins the team as the new Ant-Man.
• Emma Frost and Scott Summers re-open the Academy X
2012 -
• E is for Extinction
• Runaways!
• Jean Grey dies fighting Xorn
• Gitfted / The Mutant Cure
• Ana Corazon becomes Spider-Girl
• Logan meets Laura Kinney
• The Winter Soldier Returns
2013 -
• M Day happens
• Vulcan takes the throne from Lilandra
• Peter Quill joins the Guardians of Galaxy
2014 -
• The Young Avengers!
° Iron Lad (16), Kate Bishop (17/18), Wiccan, Speed (16), Patriot (16), Hulking (16), Sting (14), Jonas (??)
• The New X-Men
° Armor, Loa, Prodigy, Cuckoos, (15), Rockslide, Pixie Hellion, Flubber, Gentle, Wind Dancer, Surge, Wallflower, Onyxx, Quill, Network, Wither (14),
° Mercury, Indra, Dust, Ink, Laura, Elixir, Kidogo, Trance, Dryad, Icarus, Tag, Preview, DJ (13), Wing, Wolf Cub, Rubber Maid, Bling!, Anole, Match, Specter (12)
• Stryker attacks Xavier's Institue
2015 -
• World War Hulk
• Birth of the Mutant Messiah
• The Avengers and other heroes fight Kang. Sam becomes Captain America
2016 -
• Skrull Invansion
• Dark Reign
• The X-Men move to Utopia
• The Inner Circle attacks Genosha
• Hope returns as the Messiah
• Hank Pym opens the Avengers Academy
2017 -
• Children's crusade
• Hope and the Lights
• Apocalypse Solution. Warren Worthington III becomes heir of Apocalypse
• Fear Itself
• The Schism between the X-Men happens
2018 -
• Miles Morales (13) becomes Spider-Man
• Logan opens the Jean Grey School For Higher Learning
• Jean Foster is diagnosed with cancer
2019 -
• The Phoenix returns
• Rage of Ultron. Hank Pym dies
• Khamala Khan (16) becomes Ms. Marvel
2020 -
• Ms. Marvel, Nova and Spider-Man create the new Champions
2021 -
2022 -
2023 -
• The Mutants create Krakoaland
7 notes · View notes
cogentranting · 4 months
Text
I made a claim that there is a trend that won't allow female leads of superhero movies and tv shows to have and end up with a male love interest. So I decided to back that up with some stats. I looked at 60 different lead characters of live-action superhero tv shows and movies from Marvel and DC, sorted them into different categories by gender and type of ending (see the details below the cut).
My findings:
While 95% of male lead superheroes have opposite sex love interests, only 61% of female lead heroes have opposite sex love interests. 62% of male leads end up together with their (female) love interests. Only 22% of female leads end up with their (male) love interest (in fact I can only find 4 examples, as opposed to the 26 male examples. All four are tv shows. I do not know of a female lead superhero movie/movie franchise that ends with the female lead happy together with her male love interest.) In contrast only 5% of male leads have no love interest whatsoever, as opposed to 22% of female leads. Women are also more likely to have their love interest die, with 17% compared to the male 10%.
The categories I used:
A. ends up with their love interest (the lead themselves MAY die. For example Tony Stark does get to marry Pepper and have a child, and then dies. Oliver Queen has a similar situation and then also gets an epilogue together with Felicity in some sort of afterlife) B. Has a love interest but doesn't end up with them (they split up; the love interest ends up with someone else; they are permanently separated) C. The love interest dies D. No canonical love interest E. The series is still ongoing/was cancelled mid-story-- there IS a love interest but it's not clear if they end up together eventually or not (EA-- will probably be together/implied they will; EB-- doesn't seem like they'll be together; E-- I have no clue. I recognize these are open to interpretation, that's why they're classified separately) F. Same Sex love interest
"What do you mean by a "lead"?" They have to be THE main character of their series/movie/franchise. Generally this is the title character. Ensembles were included only if there was a clearly discernible main character (e.g. Peter Quill in GOTG). The only times I counted co-leads was in the cases of Agents of Shield (both Daisy and Coulson), TFATWS (Sam and Bucky), BVS (Clark and Bruce), and Hawkeye (Clint and Kate).
Marvel male leads Tony Stark A Steve Rogers A Scott Lang A Clint Barton A T'challa A Nick Fury A Phil Coulson A Peter Parker (Maguire) A Marc Spector/Steven Grant A/EA Danny Rand EA Michael Morbius EA Matt Murdock (Cox- Netflix) EA Peter Parker (Holland) EA Bruce Banner B Doctor Strange B Loki B Luke Cage B Matt Murdock (Affleck) B Peter Quill C/B (I'm counting it as a C, his version of Gamora died) Frank Castle (Bernthal) C/B Peter Parker (Garfield) C Thor C Shang-Chi D (but if I had to guess, will end up with Katy) Sam Wilson D Bucky Barnes E (I'm counting Sarah Wilson as a canon love interest. If not, he's in the D category) Eddie Brock E
Marvel Female Leads Peggy Carter A Daisy Johnson A Kamala Khan EA Jessica Jones EB Natasha Romanoff B Jennifer Walters B (I'm counting Matt as a love interest for her show, but I don't think there's any chance of them being together past what we saw. Categorize this as an EB if you prefer) Sersi C Wanda Maximoff C Shuri D Kate Bishop D Carol Danvers D 26 M 11F
Marvel Male Stats A- 8/26 31% A+ EA- 13/26 50% B- 5/26 19% B + EB- 7/26 27% C- 4/26 15% D- 2/26 8% E- 2/26 8% A/B/C/E (has some sort of love interest regardless of ending)-- 24/26 92% (alt if you don't count Bucky as having a love interest, 23/26 88%)
Marvel Female stats A- 2/11 18% A+ EA- 3/11 27% B- 2/11 18% B + EB- 3/11 27% C- 2/11 18% D- 3/11 27% E- X A/B/C/E-- 8/11 72%
DC Male Leads Hal Jordan A Arthur Curry A Jaime Reyes A Clark Kent (Cavil) A Clark Kent (Hoechlin) A Clark Kent (Welling) A Oliver Queen (Amell) A Barry Allen (Gustin) A Jefferson Pierce A Dick Grayson (Thwaites) A Barry Allen (Miller) EA (or maybe A) Bruce Wayne (Pattinson) EA Bruce Wayne (Bale) A/C Bruce Wayne (Affleck) D Billy Batson D Black Adam D DC Female Leads Courtney Whitmore A Kara Danvers (Benoist) B Diana Prince C Harley Quinn (Robbie) D Sarah Lance F Kate Kane F Ryan Wilder F 16 M 7F DC Male Stats A- 11/16 69% A+ EA- 13/16 81% D- 3/16 19% DC Female Stats A- 1/7 14% B- 1/7 14% C- 1/7 14% D- 1/7 14% F- 3/7 42% A/B/C/E--4/7 57%
Total men: 42 Total women: 18
DC + Marvel Men A- 19/42 45% A+ EA- 26/42 62% B- 5/42 12% B + EB- 7/42 17% C- 4/42 10% D- 2/42 5% E- 2/42 5% A/B/C/E--40/42 95%
DC +Marvel Women A- 3/18 17% A+ EA- 4/18 22% B- 3/18 17% B + EB- 4/18 22% C- 3/18 17% D- 4/18 22% F-3/18 17% A/B/C/E--11/18 61%
Additional Explanations:
I only included movies/shows from after 2000.
If a character has multiple love interests I categorized them by their most important or final love interest. Being together with someone at the end of the series automatically puts them in the A category. If they don't end up with anyone, I made a judgment about which love interest was most significant and grouped them according to that. For instance--- Daisy Johnson has 3 major love interests (Ward, Lincoln, Sousa) but she is grouped as an A because she ends the series in a relationship with Sousa. Frank Castle I counted as a C because while Karen is maybe a love interest, his wife and her death are the more significant story factor.
I excluded movies/series that are an ensemble without a clear lead such as Marvel's Runaways (or where I didn't know enough about the movie to determine if there was a clear lead, like Suicide Squad). I also left out movies that I just don't know much about (like Deadpool, Elektra, or Watchmen). I left out Cloak and Dagger because I'm incredibly unclear whether they are meant to be future love interests or not. All X-men properties were excluded because determining A) who counts as a lead, B) are the different versions different characters and C) what endings count as canon was just a mess so I decided to skip it.
Why is Fury on this list as an A? He's the lead of Secret Invasion and is married. We might not see his wife again but last we heard they're happily married.
Why did you specify Matt Murdock as (Cox-Netflix)? Right now it's unclear if the main MCU Matt and the Netflix Matt are the same continuity, though it seems like they are not. The Netflix show ends with the suggestion that Matt and Karen will get back together at some point. She-Hulk and what's been seen so far of future Daredevil appearances don't acknowledge Karen.
Why is Peggy a lead/does Peggy really end up with her love interest? She's the lead of Agent Carter though not the lead of a movie. If we're counting Agent Carter separately, she ends that show in a relationship with Daniel. They are different ways to interpret timelines and which shows exist in which timelines etc. but regardless, Peggy is the lead of a show, and ends up married to either Steve or Daniel.
Why are same-sex relationships counted separately? Because I'm specifically looking at a trend regarding putting female characters in relationships with male characters. I contend that it stems from a sexist view that doing so portrays the woman as subordinate or lesser than her male partner, even if she is the main character. This "issue" is side-stepped by putting the lead in a relationship with another woman.
Why isn't Hope Van Dyne (Wasp) a lead even though she's a title character? Because functionally she's still secondary to Scott in the story. When I allowed co-leads they were never each other's love interests. Often the second lead is the love interest of the male lead, which skews the data. Gamora is a similar situation.
Further takeaways: 2 male heroes (Oliver Queen and Bale Batman) have a significant love interest turn out to be evil and betray them, plus an additional 3 (Iron Fist, Daredevil, and sorta Loki) that have some sort of minor betrayal that ends with the love interest on the same side as them. That's 5 or 12% depending on which number you take (I'm more inclined toward the 5%). 2 women have a major love interest turn out to be evil (Daisy Johnson and Sersi) and an additional three have a more minor betrayal with a turn around (Peggy, Courtney, and Kara). Which is 12 or 29%. Plus an additional 2 that were victims of an abusive relationship of some sort with an all out supervillain (41%).
In the above stats, characters were only put in the C (dead love interest) category if that is their main love interest. If they later end up with someone, they are in a different category. If we look at characters who had a love interest die at some point (whether permanently or not) stats are affected thusly: Male characters who have a love interest die: 12 Female characters who have a love interest die: 6 29% of male heroes have a love interest die 33% of female heroes have a love interest die
7 notes · View notes
ryanmeft · 5 months
Text
Movie Review: The Marvels
Tumblr media
This is Ms. Marvel’s house, and everyone else is just a tenant. The latest MCU outing is the lowest point of the franchise to date, with a muddled and poorly-explained plot, two wooden leads, an underutilized villain, and entirely too much MCU advertising. At a brisk 105 minutes, it is somehow both overstuffed and rushed. So how, then, can I say you should see it? Two words: Kamala Khan.
It is thirty years after the original Captain Marvel. Carol Danvers (Brie Larson) lives on a spaceship and seems to hold down a job as a galactic peacekeeper-ambassador, though how this keeps food on the table is unclear. Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), also residing in space but on a massive station, sends Monica Rambeau (Teyonah Parris) out on missions to investigate…something. This something, which looks kind of like the way movies always portray event horizons, is a strange disturbance in space that can A: cause wormholes, B: be used as a source of power for the villain and C: make it so that the movie’s three heroines swap places whenever they use their powers. It’s a cosmic maguffin working overtime.
Tumblr media
This plot is, to be kind, a mess. The Space Something causes Danvers and Rambeau to swap places with each other and Kamala Khan (Iman Vellani), lead hero in the Disney+ show Ms. Marvel. As the characters swap powers, they shift between Kamala’s home, Danvers’ spaceship, Fury’s space-station and various other planets, including an intriguing one where everyone speaks in song. None of these feel like any more than pit-stops for the plot, and we constantly wish the film would pick one or two and focus on those. So, too, does Zawe Ashton’s villain get slighted. Superhero movies usually deal in uncomplicated maniacs, and Ashton’s Dar-Benn bucks that trend, with a legitimate reason to be pissed off at the hero. This reason is done away with in a flashback and never explored as a deeper part of the character. Like Thor: Love & Thunder, the movie could have benefited from slowing down and taking more time to establish its villain as a person.
Let’s leave aside the plot for a moment, though, and discuss the young woman named Kamala. For those who watched the show Ms. Marvel, no introduction is necessary. For those who didn’t, she’s a teenager in Jersey City who inherits light-bending properties from a time-traveling gauntlet inherited from her grandmother. Her powers are less important than her personality, for she ends up being the glue that barely holds a confused and dull film together. Played by newcomer Iman Vellani, she has that Spider-Man energy, bringing an enthusiasm and seemingly effortless charm to every scene she steals.
She also happens to be a massive fan of Danvers, yet Vellani knows how to hold back and let her enthusiasm build rather than just running up and spouting a one-liner. Her expressions, body language and every line of dialogue are perfect for the character, which is good, because the film desperately needs her. Larson and Parris never manage to generate any individual sympathy from the audience, and spend all their non-Kamala time dryly reciting details of the impossible-to-follow plot or making bland promises of heroism. At one point, when CM must reduce herself to tears over having accidentally done a very bad thing, it’s obvious Larson is forcing the waterworks, and when Parris must confront a vision of her deceased mother (Lashana Lynch), her reactions are right out of summer stock.
Tumblr media
Vellani’s only credits so far are all playing Ms. Marvel, but if the universe loves us, she will be a star long after the MCU has finally crumbled to dust. She and Jackson are the only ones on screen who seem even dimly aware of how silly this all is, and they treat it all like a game. You can’t say the movie doesn’t have some clue what the audience wants, because in the best non-Kamala moment it multiplies the previous film’s mutant alien cat into dozens. I won’t tell you why the film needs these cats, but does it matter? An alien mutant kitten is its own reward. To get that reward, you need to have watched several TV shows and movies (I won’t say which ones, to avoid spoilers), and the film often feels like homework that most people forgot to do.
Once we’re done with the nonsense plot, the rolled-over-and-died dialogue, the emotionally hollow acting and constant pushy references to the larger MCU, we know only one thing: Ms. Marvel needs her own movie. She’s already left this one in the dust.
Verdict: Average
Note: I don’t use star ratings. Here are my possible verdicts:
Must-See
Highly Recommended
Recommended
Average
Not Recommended
Avoid Like the Plague
7 notes · View notes