#by this i mean

[lyxchen]

The hair is hairing, the brush is brushing but I don't know what I'm doing…

#by this i mean #i have no clue how i achieved that hair #my goodness #drawing curls is a pain and also the love of my life #lea's random thoughts #sketchies #lyxchen's art #tatort bremen

[redrageoused]

neil josten the type of guy to keep track of all of his outfits so he doesnt rewear the same thing too often and stand out bc of it

#by this i mean #he makes sure to only wear shirts in a certain rotation #because he owns literally five shirts #hes so real for that tho #i just made a pie chart of all my clothes #neil josten #aftg #all for the game #aftg headcanon #aftg neil #aftg hc

[highkey-lowkey-as-hell]

i can't explain this but eva sanchez absolutely has new york city vibes

#we are the tigers #eva sanchez #by this i mean #she's wanted to live there for y e a r s #and she maybe goes to college there #and just never leaves

[aroace-polyshow]

i wanna make myself a fancy meal

#marlo’s stuff #by this i mean #something that isn’t instant noodles that i already stopped liking or frozen fish sticks

[morgansplace]

i generally wanna see if you can guess-

you know me

people would say i have a criminal record that would give me deathrow

⚫️〰️⚫️

Do i know you personally? Or just through tumblr?

#by this i mean #are we close friends? #asks #anon asks

[amerasdreams]

.......

Well... tumrblr isn't therapy. I have to learn this somehow once and for all. Not broadcast my vulnerabilities.

I need an outlet. Do I? Or therapy? Already taking anti anxiety meds but I'm not sure if working and may actually be detrimental (I haven't had this much self harm impulse for a while... which isn't saying too much severity wise but still. Also harder to get up and may be making me feel bad even earlier in the day! What if it messes up my ability to feel good in the morning! Things start out good usually then go downhill. I sent theDr. A message. I already stopped one anti anxiety med bc my heart was like 114 bpm when sitting still for a while).

Need something. Idk. Everything is hard. Emotions unstable and i panic easily and spiral easily. Like today. Again. Idk if I have a disorder or what. I feel so helpless and often hopeless. When I think what I want vs what I have the capacity for. when i try to get there and fail miserably at the SMALLEST step. 😞

Is there any solution. I feel like i am different from everyone even mentally ill ppl... I don't fit in with anything, I'm unique but not in a good way

In any case... I can't expect tumrblr to help me. Help as in distraction maybe. But too much temptation to vent. 😞 why.

I see others talk about their issues and they get sympathy, ppl gently attempt to help. I have gotten some of this. But. At this point ppl probably tired of me, everything is the same and I say stupid stuff. I'm toxic. Why are they following? Idk.

I really can't expect anyone to help me. Ppl don't want negativity. I've got to somehow figure out things. I like tumblr and it has seemed more of a home than other places but. Can't let it be a solution. Bc itisn't. Idk what is. .

Maybe I should go off for a little while. Something. I have to have self control to not post stupid personal stuff no one cares about. I don't want to be a spectacle. Don't want to be known for this

It's just I have so many emotions and with such intensity if I don't express them in some way-- idk what will happen

#I'm not here for anyone's entertainment #I dont want those ppl slavering for a trainwreck #How do I have enough self control to not post #Esp when I'm feeling bad and tired??!?!?! #Help #I dont want to be slapped with words #From random ppl #Ppl who don't care about me #By this I mean #Not the ppl who ARE nice to me. They don't do that. #Thnx:) #I have to get my life together. When it never was. From this material. #Ok that's it #Merry go round #End?

[malfunctioning3dprinter]

i first thought about espada/josé as a crackship on discord to laugh at but now i don't think that it's no longer a crackship for me...

#by this i mean #i actually ship it #help #fc6

[dykesbat]

I think district 12 saluting to katniss in the first book is akin to the district tributes holding hands in catching fire (shows of solidarity and appreciation that are almost immediately upended because they’re put in a system and can’t get out alone)

#by this I mean #peeta’s brothers not volunteering for him and the cornucopia battle ending in 8 deaths #thg

[skyrim-forever]

I like to think I bring a certain "fresh outta jail uncle" vibe to tesblr

#by this I mean #I offer nothing #say questionable things #and have questionable morals #my alligences? all over the place #but I'll take you out for ice cream and call you “champ” #definitely your mom's brother

[guu]

ok i’m going ALL RANGE MODE everybody stand back

#by this i mean #im nauseaous again but i WILL finish this fffucking commission #the wind blows in my favor

[svtvres]

Tbh i dont mind stranger things fans associating non-metal songs with eddie. But i do that with gojira's the art of dying

#eddie munson #by this i mean #if he had access to modern music hed listen to sabaton or something so im prob also wring #wrong

[postapocalyptic-cryptic]

leo writing brainstorm into the tcw transformers au gave me the final push I needed to make my own transformers blorbos into star wars blorbos

#can't believe I just reworked windblade into star wars instead of doign my homework #I have such a love hate relationship with the windblade comics #by this I mean #I love windblade and I hate mscott

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[miniaturecatmentality]

guys I just found the greatest video on the internet

#tiktok #tiktoks #well actually this is from #instagram reels #Instagram #but we all know what i mean #short form videos #comedy #hahaha #🤓 #funny #praying mantis #entomology #entomology jokes #and something else entirely #dogs #little dog #chihuahua #creachur #bad jokes #yeah #i think thats enough tags

[redstonedust]

yknow AI art has ruined an entire genre of painting to me, i saw one of those smooth anime-realism pieces and immidiately thought ''ugh, AI art'' until i noticed it was posted by an established deviantart user 6 years ago. like ive never been a huge fan of that genre but it looks like a pretty difficult style to master and i feel bad for the artists who specialized in anime-realism only to have their entire market jacked by people typing keywords into midjourney.

#like. yall know the exact kind of smooth shaded anime realism i mean right. #its SO prevelant in ai art to the point that i end up always end up assuming that style is ai more often than not

[gayforcarstairsgirls]

#staff need to realise that one little change to layout ruins my day #and that when i snooze tumblr live i mean that i want it GONE #tumblr live