#but. my hands feel funny and i dont know what to do about it

[beetleviolet]

So. Uh. @midwesternvibes I've kinda been spamming your profile lately (my b) buuut I wrote something inspired by this villain Leo analysis, especially your unique perspective on why Splinter made Leo the new leader. Super cool! I hadn't thought about it like that!/gen

I didn't go in a villain direction because YOU ARE LITERALLY KILLING IT I AM SO INVESTED YOU DONT EVEN KNOW BRO!

This is more hurt/comfort. Feel free to ignore or enjoy :)

Tw: arguing, child neglect/emotional neglect, childhood trauma, and reference to suicide, but in reference to Leo's prison dimension stunt so uh. Kind of suicide.

Ironically, it was Splinter's idea. 

He wasn't the best father, that much he knew, but he wanted to be better. He couldn't hide from his problems behind a TV screen, not anymore. Not when he had 4 big, big problems that he had caused. 

He brought the idea to Michelangelo first, always the most willing for second chances and growth. Orange didn't look as ecstatic as he might have months ago, no, he had grown in those few months, perhaps too much. He studied Splinter for a moment before a small, hopeful smile,

“I'm glad you want to try.” And, well, if Splinter wouldn't do anything for his sons before, he would do everything for them now.

“Go with Leo first.” Splinter tilted his head. He had been planning to go with Purple, the most obviously insecure, or maybe Red, who would accept the affection easily. 

“With Blue? Why?” 

“Just trust me.” Mikey said, “And be nice!” Be nice. Why wouldn't he be nice? It kind of hurt that his son thought otherwise, perhaps a kind of hurt he deserved. 

Blue was slippery. He snuck out of any invitation, like he could smell what Splinter was thinking. Mikey had more than one hushed conversation with him, tucked away in his subway car with the door closed. 

Finally, after almost two weeks of trying, Blue agreed to go out for a walk. And that was that. 

Leonardo was… abrasive. Obnoxious at best and an egomaniac at worst. It was odd that Orange had suggested that Splinter spend time with Leo, the most confident, and the most well adjusted after the events with the Krang. 

Maybe this would be a sort of warm up, an easier bonding experience before he had to deal with Red or Purple. 

Hm. “Deal with” probably wasn't the right phrase. Take care of? Help? He wanted to help. 

Blue prattled away, as always, talking about anything under (and over) the sun. Making joke after joke. None of them were very funny, Splinter preferred Purple's dry sense of humor. His Lou Jitsu days were so full of puns, he found he could hardly stand them anymore, but he gave a couple pity laughs. Mikey had told him to be nice, after all. 

“So, you ready to head home, Daddio?” Splinter glanced at Leo's face, which was spreading an easy smile, 

“What- it has only been fifteen minutes!” Blue shrugged, not slowing. They had been walking aimlessly around Central Park, Leo with a slice of pizza and Splinter with a soft pretzel. 

“And I don't think you want to break that streak.” He said it in that animated tone he always took on when he was joking. But this time, it wasn't funny. Or, well, more not-funny than usual. 

“What streak?” 

“Angie said if you made fun of me, I could go home.” Splinter stumbled, having to press forward faster to keep up with Leonardo's unfaltering steps. Angie said if you made fun of me, I could go home.

“Why would I make fun of you?” To a stranger, Leonardo would appear unaffected, but Splinter caught the downward twitch of his brow, the sudden tensing of his shoulders, quickly hidden as his hands rose to rest on the back of his head, his expression smoothed into something nicer, so quickly, it might have been a passing shadow. He wouldn't notice if he was a stranger. He might have noticed sooner if he barely wasn't. 

Leo did something rare. He hesitated, covering it up with a shrug and a glance to his left. Casual, easy-going. He laughed, something high and sweet. And then he didn't say anything more. 

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. 

“Why would I make fun of you?” 

“Kidding, Pops.” He assured, picture perfect grin. A blink, and Splinter almost felt like he was looking in a mirror, 17 years ago. 

Splinter wracked his brain, trying to remember all of the parenting books he had asked April to get for him. 

Take accountability, he had read, you have to show respect for your children, and apologize when you make a mistake. 

Splinter had never been very good at apologizing. Maybe it came from being a movie star. Maybe it came from before. His Grandfather used to make him his favorite foods, cut him the sweetest fruit. Splinter didn't think there were enough strawberries in the world to make up for everything. 

He might as well start. Give it a try. Let Blue know that he was trying. 

“I would like to apologize to you.” This time, it was Leo who faltered. He played it off as a trip, and brought his hands down. Suddenly Splinter was looking at a little turtle, sitting on the kitchen counter, fidgeting with his fingers and sneaking a glance at the broken glass beneath him. Sneaking glances at Splinter. Leo was a much better actor now then all those years ago, maybe a better actor then Splinter ever was, but he still picked at his nails.

“You… what?” Leo said with a laugh, letting his genuine confusion shine through. Splinter gestured to a nearby bench, 

“Come, sit with me.”

“Um, I'd love to but, see, I promised Donnie-” 

“Leonardo.” Splinter was expecting resistance, a groan or dragging feet. 

He wasn't expecting a full body flinch. 

Take accountability. 

Be nice. 

Looking out at the sidewalk, Splinter could almost see a little Baby Blue, only 5 years old, a tiny turtle all wrapped in clothes and sneaking towards the pidgins, hell-bent on catching one. Weeks later, when Splinter had stopped going out, Blue actually managed it. He was with Red at the time, and he had told Splinter about it excitedly that night, shouting to be heard over the noise of the TV. Turning up the volume was so easy. Up, up, up, and everything would leave Splinter alone.

“...I am sorry I snapped.” He said, softer. Leonardo didn't look at him, but his brow twitched, so quickly disguised. Be up front, and honest. “I will not force you, but I would like to have a conversation with you.” Splinter watched patiently as Blue scratched the back of his neck, fumbling out a couple starts to excuses, before petering out and sitting beside him on the bench. 

Up, up, up, and he would leave his everything alone. All alone. 

“I have not been a good father.” Leo hesitated, like he wanted to object, “You do not have to say anything.” So he didn't. “I left you- all of you alone when you needed me, time and time again.” Deep breath. Ok, “I am sorry.” A moment of silence, then another. 

And then Blue began to laugh. 

It wasn't his high, silly laugh, when Donatello fell over or Michelangelo was sassy, or his big, performative chuckle, when making a joke or in front of a crowd, or even that sweet giggle that he had long grown out of, from hugs or tickling or watching a silly show. 

No, this was new. 

This was crackling, high up in his throat and covering his eyes with a hand, a shake of his head. This was filling time so he didn't have to speak, covering his eyes so he didn't have to look, this was his son hiding away, this was paint spread over Hamato Leonardo so it looked pretty. And deep, deep down, this was a flicker of hope, tucked away so no one could see when they blew it out. 

“..Is this a joke?” There were no cracks in the armor of his voice, but his fingers twitched and tapped together, eyes still looking away. 

“No.” Splinter assured. Leo laughed again, this time shorter, a little sharper, 

“I think you misunderstand,” He chuckled, the performance one, “I. Am. Leo!” He said each word slowly, dripping with sarcasm, “This seems like more of a.. Splinter-Mikey conversation.” He smiled. Mirrored. 

“I have talked to your brother already.” Splinter explained, still a little confused. Where was this going? “But I wanted to apologize to you as well.” Leo studied him. Really studied him, up and down. His brow twitched before melting back into his usual expression. Pleasant, smooth, easy-on-the-eyes. He smiled. Splinter was beginning to hate that smile. 

“Let's just head home, we were going to hang out with April-” 

“But I wanted-” 

“We don't have to do this!” There was the snap Splinter had been anticipating. Leonardo's eye contact was sharp, face almost exasperated. Almost. 

“...do what?” Splinter asked. 

“This!” Leo gestured between them, “I've given you, like, two different chances to opt out!” 

“I do not want to opt out.” 

“Well that's a first!” 

And

Ouch. 

Leo looked away, deflating. 

“Sorry.” He muttered, hand over the back of his neck. 

Accountability. Apologize. 

“No, you are right, and I am sorry for that, but I want to spend time with you now.” 

“Why?” There were no lies in the question, no distant undertones or cover ups. It was the first deeply honest thing Splinter had heard from Blue that day, maybe even that year. 

“Because you are my son, and you deserve to have someone looking out for you.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you are a person.” Leo looked like he wanted to say something, another snap perhaps, one true and stinging, but he just looked away. 

“...stop messing with me.” 

“I am not.” 

“Just stop!” There was no one around them to look up at the shout, “Just- Can we just go home already?” 

“I want to-” 

“Spend time with me, right?” Leo rushed on, “What would that do, huh!? I'm sure you'd rather be with Donnie or- or anybody!” 

“I do not-” 

“Did I have to earn it? Is that what this is? Did I finally do it!?” Tears. 

“Earn what?” 

“This!” His voice cracked as he gestured in between them. “You- you never wanted to do this before! Did-” He swallowed, “Is it because I'm taking things seriously now? Is that all? I just had to try and kill myself and you'd actually love me!?” 

“I've always loved you!” Splinter cried, horrified. And Blue…

His Baby Blue laughed at him, hand over face to wipe his eyes. 

“It is true!” Splinter felt his own eyes began to water as well. It had been… how long since his son had cried to him? “And I am a fool to ever let you believe otherwise!” 

“I don't care!” Leo almost snarled, “I don't-!” He stopped himself, tucked his head down with his hands on his knees. A collection of leaves blew across the sidewalk, causing a pigeon to startle, settling down a few steps later and pecking at the ground. Leonardo kept his tears silent and steady, sitting on the bench with his hands gripping his knees, almost like seiza. 

“..Can I ask you something?” 

“Of course.” A small hitch. Leo kept his eyes down. 

“Why did you make me leader?” That… wasn't what Splinter had been expecting. 

“Because Raphael-” 

“Needed a break.” Leo finished. Splinter tried not to be irked at the interruption, “Needed to chill out, right? It was hurting him.” He looked right at him, “Right, Splinter?” The first name rolled so easily off of his tongue. He didn't wait long for an answer, “But better it hurt me then him, right? Since I'm already such a fucking screw up, you might as well finish the job!” 

“Leonardo-” 

“What did I ever do to you?” His voice had a ring to it, a rare one. Honesty. That honest, genuine tone that always came with the "I love you"'s and the ‘hey, its okay"'s and the oh so rare "I'm sorry"'s. Shaky and truthful and hard as a diamond, “I wanted you so bad, I just want- Dad just-” 

There were no parenting books for this. 

Blue let him sit in startled silence, taking his time to wipe his tears. 

Splinter had fucked up. Badly. And he was 10 years too late to fix it all. 

But he had to try. Try again and again until his son knew he wasn't kidding. He wasn't joking. He might never forgive him, but Splinter wasn't joking. 

“I do agree with you, Red needed a break.” Splinter leaned back on the bench and looked at the sky, giving Leo some privacy, “I did not mean to pass that burden on to you. In all honesty, I did not think about it. You are incredibly strong, my son," Blue stiffened at the compliment, "I did not realize how much stress was being put on you. That is my mistake, and I am so incredibly sorry for it.” Leo brought his leg up and hugged it to his chest, looking away. 

“I made you the leader because I thought it would help you grow. Because you are clever, and brave, and can keep your brother's out of trouble without them even knowing it.” Leo huffed out his nose, almost amused. “You are not a screw up. You are a person who makes mistakes and learns, just like any other person.” Splinter took a deep breath. Now for the hard part, “My neglect was no fault of yours.” He was expecting more silence.

Instead, there came a choked sob. 

Leo held his knee tight to his chest, tucking his face away. His hood was up. Splinter reached out a hand, pressing it against his son's shell. 

“It is not your fault.”  

Leo didn't speak to him for the rest of the day, hiding in his room as soon as they got home, but not before leaning into his touch, shoulders relaxing, just a little. 

#may have gone overboard but #a love writing about characters mindsets #love the OG idea sm i am so excited to see more villain leo he has my heart and I WILL be drawing him #rottmnt #save rottmnt #tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leonardo #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #fics

[sadisthetic]

hanbok!!! for fun!

#just because i wanted to see my favorite boys in them #ninjago #ninjago jay #ninjago kai #jay walker #my art #i feel like with the sheer amount of orientalism thats in the show i feel like i have full freedom to draw the fuck i was as an asian dude #for the record i actually dont headcanon either of them as korean i hc kai as japanese which like #i feel like he couldnt be anything else? as the one of the two characters in this show who are actually strongly japanese coded? #like waves hand he could be mixed but he at Least needs to be part japanese #but thats not my personal headcanon tho i just generally headcanon him as japanese #and ninjago doesnt have fucking countries and theyre just legos i know but like #the world is def still based on this one. so gestures very hard. #i do what i want. #and also i headcanon jay as a one fourth chinese wasian who never fucking realizes hes part chinese BC HE NEVER MET HIS MOM #this is funny to me personally #he will never know..... im normal about jay never meeting his mom i swear. #anyways all these tags are irrelevant to the art drawing them in hanbok was just sheer indulgence #lemme have this #(bc sometimes i think about s4 specifically and scream) #closes eyes. at least s4 had best episode ninja roll at least.

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

[peppermintpegis]

netflix one piece live action feels a little like fanfic in that it makes sure it hits all the important notes but doesnt do all the work to make them hit which works in fic where the reader is supposed to bring all the emotional story investment from the original but doesnt work in a multi million adaptation that is supposed to be able to stand on its own or even serve as an intro to the series. it even does this in service to have more koby and helmeppo gay moments in this essay i w

#one piece #opla #the fleshing out of koby and helmeppo is like honestly good its a beacon of light its truly really fun #and all the actors are great it is just what they are given . #they didnt let nami do any real betraying. they didnt even have her steal the merry!! she just stole the map that they added in!!!! #ddont get me started on the gutting of sanjis intro. i dont give a shit about if don krieg appears or not i need to see this guy fuckin #feed the hand thats about to kill him im going to start shaking like a dog. #im almost madder krieg appeared for just a little id rather have that time be used for. anything else really. #like have one of arlongs guys starved half to death when they get to arlong park!or idk anything! no gin appears look its gin! you know him #sanji doesnt even get to beat the shit out of a shitty guest. like i guess he does a little but it feels so blink and you miss it #+the first like two eps were good!! buggys great hes scary and weird and fun. i dont mind that he sticks around longer in theory #but the way he is comedic relief instead of basically every character having funny bits is like. ahghhhgggg. its a symptom of this really #mean and edgy feeling the whole thing has. like the removal of people missing usopps pirate calling :( and how cocoyashi didnt know #nami was working to help them. like p. please. can we have caring and bonds in this world?? trust and love??? #anyway. sorry for having expectations of a netflix show im so close to putting this into a more proper form rather than tags. just to get i #all out of my system cause fuck man. #anyway solid 7/10 not as bad as it couldve been

[bobzora]

yeah femc has some really solid romance routes but i just cannot be assed to care too much because there are some crazy level yuri goings on in this game

#bobtalk #yeah i’ll max shinji and ryoji of course. ryoji especially he’s my bestfriend. akihiko…sorry lmao. #maxed saori and put my head in my hands. PEAK. i wonder what she’ll say in march. letter like temperance? #i feel like she’d really benefit from watching r/gu. by the way. she started talking about princes and princesses #p3pposting #anyway every girl you spoke more than 2 sentences to in male route was inexplicably madly in love with you. but femc has Charisma. #(still very funny how people line up outside your classroom to speak to you btw. lmao) #i want to do more junpei link cuz it’s been Very good but he’s occupied by the plot rn. sad! started shinji though (september) #anyway. every time i play portable i’m reminded how much girls rule. i love you girls. i finally got megido on my mothman. #i’m also reminded how sad i am about reload. WE DONT GET VOICED OR MODELLED SAORI……..THEY HATE WOMEN!!! #by the way yukari peak as fuck. shes so good. i’m trying 2 like mitsuru more because the student council type personality #never really appeals to me that much. <- im also trying to hack my brain to like makoto more. for feminism. i’m sorry women i’m working oni #she’s really pretty in arena btw. <3<3<3 #i also don’t especially care for akihiko i KNOW i’m SORRY. he’s fine. i like his dynamic with shinji and ken. sorry. lol #but yeah. i need aigis SL NOW!!!! #(theodore sucks btw. maybe that’s just because i don’t like men but i miss liz so bad. sigh.) #when my laptop works again maybe i’ll post some screenshots. <- playing on vita btw #good game. #(oh yeah i’ve maxed all social stats except i’m two from max on knowledge. whoops! at least it’s enough for Dying Young Man.)

[kaeyapilled]

. (tw heterosexuality)

#i am having the worst sexuality crisis of my life. i was so sure i was a lesbian but there is this One Guy.. #he makes me feel things. i think. but i cant categorize them #relationships w men sound.. unappealing.. if i think about it generally #like a random man? sounds weird. or maybe not. i dont know. i havent even had a first kiss lmao i dont really know stuff #but him............oh...........hes so funny and cool and nice to everyone. his hands are pretty (weird thing to notice but ok) #he explains math to me and i cant focus because he's too close. thats so MORTIFYING I THOUGHT I WAS A DYKE #but at the same time 12 year old me was having heart palpitations around my first girl crush and shit #and he hasnt made me feel anything that strong so far. so. idk. but also i was 12. so idk #well okay generally speaking women make me feel much more doing way less #there was this occasion where this girl who i always had a mild thing for but never did anything about it just came up to me #at school #and just. haha lol i had a dream about you last night ;) #i am not joking when i say i felt weak in the knees. she was smiling in a like playful way so i was gonna make a joke but i could not #because i was going to pass out from being too gay #this guy (or any other guy for that matter) doesn't seem to have the power to make me feel like that #..........am i bisexual with a female lean or whatever people say. or am i experiencinf the worst case of comphet of my life #this is awful. not because i don't wanna like men (its just sexuality idc) but because i don't want to prove my mom right #😭what if it WAS a phase #but who knows. mentioning the girl who dreamt about me kind of replaced the thoughts i was having of him for a bit there #i miss her she was nice. well sort of. but i was never involved in the drama so who cares fr. she graduated last year #anyways sorry for breaking character. tumblr user kaeyapilled is lore dropping

[gibbearish]

oh psa but if you're in an industry that checks IDs and the person in front of you is clearly trans, don't make comments about anything on that ID. for instance saying "OMG your middle name's Danielle? that's my name too!!!" to someone 5 feet tall with a full beard is perhaps not the best choice one could make if one didn't want to put a neon glowing sign above that person's head saying "THIS IS A TRANSGENDER" to everyone they're with

#it is p funny tho going out places with cis / nb-and-always-presented-as-agab friends and always getting singles out abt my #id in Some Way and them always being like ??? wtf that was so weird what was up with that #and i have to be the one to be like 'remember that my id has an f on it' and theyre like :0 ....... >:0!!!! #like fuckin. the time i got id'd at goddamn jack in the box???? #she was like 'yeah we have to check it on all orders over $25' which had never happened before and has never happened since because #its fucking jack in the box so every stupid order is over $25 #for important context i was driving and bf in passenger seat was paying so id handed her his card and was way less passing than now #so once we left travis was like yo wtf that was so weird why on earth would they id someone at jack in the box????? #and im like well because i look like this and i handed her a credit card with the name travis on it and people making #up reasons to check trans-looking peoples ids to verify if theyre trans or not is unfortunately not an uncommon occurance #and he was completely floored that that was even a possibility #which like mood when i was doing bev steward literally the only thing i was thinking about on those ids was birthdays #course i was working at a theme park so we had ids from all over the country #and world but nonamericans had passports which are much more consistent than state ids #so id get handed someones id and just be like ugh ok where do they hide it on this one i have 50 people in line i dont have time for this #like why would i be wasting time casually perusing their gender marker yknow i have shit to do #so the fact that there are people who will feel the need to know that so bad that theyll do that is just wild to me and presumably him too #(working there was how we met and he ended up being bars lead then full water park sup after i left the job) #but yeah after he had his 'wait people actually do that?' realization he was just like '....well then good thing it was my card so we had to #give her my id so she'll never get to know for sure‚ get fucked' LMAO #ooh or when me and a friend went to trader joes and bought drinks cause i collect cool drink cans and when the cashier was checking #my id i made a joke to ny friend abt my picture looking like bobby hill and the cashier was like 'GASP dont say that about yourself youre #beautiful!!' which i believe i did have the beard by this point so it was a pretty obvious dig #and the picture super does look like bobby hill by the way like ill show yall if anyone's curious but literally no one irl has disagreed #except this one random woman lmao. but we get out and my friends like ????????? that was so weird #why did she say that????? and im like. well it has an f on it remember #and once again the :0 -> >:0 transformation #like it sucks having it happen but there is smth really funny abt watching friends so inclusive something like that never even #occured to them realize that thats a thing people will do and it just happened right in front of them #shoutout to my roommates friend tho who has worked at a sex shop and weed shop and changed my rewards account name for both to chosen name

[jonahmagnus]

Why would say this to me

#Not ina funny aha way. Im genuinely bothered. #Like yeah/lh funny joke I get it #. #but also Im Not Autistic. #I mean maybe I am. the combo of my mental illnesses lead up to autism SYMPTOMS #but like..... you dont know that . you dont know anytbing about meeeeee 😁 #why cant I reblog a few fuckinnggg sponinkbob images in peace. I was in a spongebob mood for like ten minutes #sorry. sprry. this feels meaner than it means to be anon. #but also like.... dude #Tldr no. no I fucking didnt. God. #-I meant to say Im Not Autistic* because I might be. I genuinely might be and probably am. the point is you dont knowwww thattttttt #and its also literally none of ur business!!! god so what if I was!!! #god. fuck off #Sorry. sorry. Its just godddddddd. You dont know anything about me okay ? 😁 You dont. Love ya. ❤️ #IF THIS WAS A FRIEND? AND NOT JUST A RANDOM ANON? DIFFERENT STORY. FRIENDS DO KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME. #head in hands #negativity

[minarcana]

#ok guess what fuckers youre going to be on another tag ramble adventure with me #ive been afflicted with the same images in my brain tumbling around and the only way to free my brain is to write them out #and anyways i have been contemplating wol au uri for a bit due to various reasons (he came up and then i got this image and couldnt be free #shb with uri as the wol is. after killing vauthry. he is SO fucked up that raha STILL wont just let him die #he was supposed to have raha send him to the rift with the light and let him die there but now that he cant stop him rahas taking it himsel #and theres the whole. 'no we really cannot have the wol die.' thing. #that makes it infinitely worse to uri. him just yelling through blood to let him die! let him have his turn! he WANTS to die! #the idea of bring told that the wol CANT die makes it so much more unfair to him #'you wouldnt know what to do if i died? i didnt know what to do for years after louisoux died! i still dont know what to do without moenbry #da! papalymo can sacrifice himself and everyone adapts! shtola has thrown herself to the lifestream twice! minfilia died! i had to stay sil #ent and let ryne choose her own path if she died or not! i cant tell people that i would be lost yet everyone gets to tell ME that? #do you think i am better than them do you think them worth less why do they have the right to die and i do not!' #he is SO SO SO much worse as a wol and it falls out in one outburst after hes quizzed as to why he thought he could sacrifice himself #but he also realizes that its really fucked up to say that aloud so yknow. yknow what. yknow. #hell bottle up all his feelings and then one day hell either die or start crying and it looks like he aint allowed to die! #he still takes the aid from ardbert at amaurot with the statement that #'if i dont try and save who i might then ill never be able to face moenbryda' #anyways cannot stop thinking about me giving uri the echo like 'this will be funny!' and hes just 'my life has become infinitely worse' #HEAD IN MY HANDS

[loverboybrightsideghost]

so has anyone checked rusty quill's youtube lately

#what the fuck what the fuck what the FUUUUUXK #there's a TWO HOUR video up that is apparently jonny and alex reading fanfic #on the one hand that sounds really fucking funny but on the other hand i'm horrified oh my god #i thought it was them like reviewing that shit or something but NO ITS THEM READING IT OUT LOUD I THINK??? WHICH IS WORSE???? #i would say i'm conflictdd but i'm not actually i'm just feeling both HORROR and morbid fascination #i looked in the comments bc that seemed like a good in between from 'i refuse to watch that' and 'i have to know what's going on here' #i think i've read like two of the fics in there #or only one but i recognize one of the authors (bluejayblueskies my beloved) #anyways #D: #tma #bluebird.txt #IS ANYONE ELSE SEEING THIS #like okay fanfic is totally a valid form a writing and whatever etc etc but what's weirding me out is the WRITERS of the SHOW #being like hey let's do this #NO!!! THE SHOW IS OVER BUT DONT DO THAT!!!!! #and that's where the morbid fascination kicks in bc now i wanna know what the fuck they thought or said about it #GAH #i'm making this face so bad right now -> D: #like that drawing of the cartoon guy sitting at his computer and looking horrified #GOD what's going ON bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[horce-divorce]

tbh I have been doing really well all things considered but when I hit a low now it's extremely lower than low. anyway I'm fucked up tonight. it feels like I'm invisible even to my favorite people and the only thing I'm good for is whatever I can do to quietly support others while they all largely go on without me. living their lives and acting their age and falling in love and being real human people while I'm doing uhh. whatever the fuck my whole deal is.

I have done such a good job self isolating in these situations over the past few years I no longer know how or where to reach out for the same comfort I readily give my friends in this situation. it feels like every friendship I've ever had was something I was more invested in and like it's not right for me to ask them to hold my hand back.

I don't like where my head is rn but. I took my pill already and I'm falling asleep and I'm gonna have such fucked up dreams. I feel so profoundly empty right now. I just wish someone cared enough to text me goodnight and good morning anymore. every time I felt that way about someone it was either not reciprocated or, *checks notes* not reciprocated. like even platonically I usually feel like I'm way more invested.

It has to be me right I mean. I'm the common denominator here. it has to be something I do wrong. I just keep trying harder to take care of everyone else around me like that's gonna make me more lovable somehow, and not just. in the same one sided situation I'm always in.

Sorry for the big sads but as mentioned I don't reach out much anymore when I should and I think admitting I'm crying myself to sleep on main is the closest I can get rn so. here we are

#me #prsnl #i need to be held like a very small baby #is what i actually need #i am so touch starved its not even fucking funny anymore like i thjnk maybe it broke my brain a little actually. #im stupider now and also more unlovable. idk how it just feels true. #i saw a fb post today thats like heart this if u have a crush on me! #nd i know i will literally never get attn like that if i dont invite it #but the idea that i will share that post and simply get no responses #is SO very real and visceral to me like. i actually cant picture another outcome #like i panicked a little even thinking about sharing it #bc i very much had the urge to #thats where im at #how do i describe this issue to my therapist lmao. #if someone so much as held my hand or like leaned on me rn i would have. an absolute meltdown

[timeisacephalopod]

Love atheist communities that hate Christianity but reproduce every single issue Christianity has right down to the racism, wild misogyny, and of all fuckin things evangelizing atheism by sending religious people rude ass 'gotcha' type reactionary content to like idk, recruit people to atheism the way Certian Brands of Christian recruit literally anyone to their religion.

Like yes this atheism is what I see a lot of white men participating in, but like how dense do you have to be to only ditch the GOD part of religion and nothing else while claiming you're intellectually superior to religious folks like a great many incredibly talented and smart people in various sciences weren't religious?

#winters ramblings #its so funny that the so called 'skeptic' communities on youtube and reddit claimed ti be SOOOOO skeptical of things #but never took a fuckin second to check their misogyny or racism and badically applied shite christian values to everything they do #but think they arent doing that because they openly denounce god. like bestie youre doing ALL the same shit i have a problem with #in teligious spaces except you have the balls to claim youre inherently smarter and more intellectual #which is why youre SO SMART you cant figure out how to be a halfway decent human being #like its so funny when i see athiests like this around where it feels like religion is the only thing they felt held them back #and not in the ways PoC queer people and women deal with- THEIR athiesm is usually rooted in #'christians told me i was black because i have the curse of ham and thats fucking racist as shit' or some other discrimination event #plus your average religious truama and in my case just a lack of desire to participate in religion and also no belief in it #but then you have white dudes whove never had a real problem in their life doing all the same shit as them Nasty Christians they rail on #without a H I N T of the irony while also wondering why it is that their spaces seem so... homogeneous lmao #almost like women PoC and queer people know all you did was reject the GOD bit not any of the underlying discrimination tendencies #no need for them to unpack that i guess because theyre Very Smart Skeptics they dont seem to think #that they believe just as much dumb shit as any religious or non religious folks out there except theyre insufferable about it #also the nonsense of science being inherently opposed to religion like tell me you know nothing about the history of science #without saying you have NO IDEA what youre talking about. so much science was trying to understand gods creations #science and god arent diametrically opposed to each other and in fact went hand in hand for a long time #not as much any more but ill bet a huge number of scientists are still religious because being smart #doesnt mean youre an athiest like HELLO youre not smarter than anyone for not believing in god #the same way you arent smarter or better FOR believing in god lmao

[mihotose]

the FISTS? i beat hades with the FISTS?

#right. i was just checking how many kills i had with each weapon and i had like 4000 with the spear and like 200 with everything else #dont worry about it. so i go and do a gun run and my first boon is a hammer of daedalus #and the upgrades dont really make sense for the gun but whatever i havent really played with the gun properly so what do i know #then zagreus says something about fists in the first chamber. and i think is that a bug or something because i chose the gub #SHE DID NOT CHOOSE THE GUN. anyway so i beat hades for the first time with the fists 👍 #gemitus #daniel howell was right my hands are shaking and i do feel very bisexual #OH and i had all three death defies up until the hades battle and even then only used two of them yippee #oh i didnt even use two. one more hit and i wouldve though #its kind of funny. i was looking up tips to beat him and this one reddit post was like FISTS ARE FOR ADVANCED PLAYERS #hades

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙bows before bros | LN4 ˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: lando norris x actress!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au

warnings: sooo super fluffy!!

summary: in which a trail of bows leads to everyone's new fav grid couple

a/n: feel like i havent written for lando in ages so here we are!!

request!!!: I’d like to request an au for lando where y/n’s an actress who’s getting recognized more and more, she’s really humble and sweet but pretty similar to lando as a goofy and funny girly(idk why but I picture Sabrina carpenter vibes) 🎀 if u could add a little scene of some of the f1 drivers and wags reacting to their relationship/talking to the media how they’ve never seen lando so happy. Just a sappy and goofy couple living life (manifesting✨🕯️)

my masterlist

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by reneerapp, sydney_sweeney, and 301,283 others

yourusername sooo where else can i put bows? 🎀

view all 6,918 comments

user1 omg the bunny is so cute im going to do that

user2 i dont wear bows in a coquette way i wear bows in an y/n y/l/n way

liked by yourusername

user3 i love seeing y/n in her movies so srs then going on her ig & it's jus this

reneerapp put them on your hand soap 🥺

yourusername you make jokes but i really will do that

user4 LOL as u should y/n!!!

user5 oh i love her

sydney_sweeney this is so real of you!!

yourusername i knew you'd get it

sydney_sweeney bows before bros ‼️

yourusername louder 🗣️

landonorris

liked by sydney_sweeney, danielricciardo, and 819,055 others

landonorris you got my heart loud.

view all 11,193 comments

user6 okay simp lando?

user7 HUH????

user8 looking a LOT like a soft launch i cant lie to u

user9 thts what i was thinking.....

user10 the bows...... anyone one else thinking what im thinking?

user11 DONT EVEN SAY IT

user12 VERY y/n y/l/n coded

user13 y/n was here vibes

oscarpiastri simp simp simp

landonorris shutup pastry boy

yourusername posted a story

liked by sydney_sweeney, daisyedgarjones, and 89,541 others

user14 so cute ily y/n

user15 my spidey senses are tingling

user16 is this a hint that ur dating lando norris.

user17 feels very very targeted miss y/n

user18 our bow queen 🙇‍♀️

twitter ->

instagram ->

landonorris posted a story

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 159,701 others

user22 omg y/n y/l/n is ur gf fr

user23 never thought i'd see the day lando norris pulled

user24 THE BOW AND THE MCLAREN HOODIE AHHH

user25 the most y/n thing i've ever seen

danielricciardo she's made you soft

landonorris she definitely hasnt i'll tell you that much

danielricciardo right. not what i meant but great to know thank you so much

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 661,328 others

yourusername feeling orange 🍊

view all 16,754 comments

user26 oh my god

user27 is this the hard launch

mclaren your best look yet, y/n!

yourusername 🤭 feel very honoured

user28 next we want orange bows

liked by yourusername

sydney_sweeney sports 🤢 but make it girly 🎀

yourusername me with everything

landonorris it's papaya y/n we've been over this

yourusername there isnt a papaya emoji ✨🎀💕🫶🍊

user29 omg they're first public interaction...?

user30 they're in love i called it.

interviews ->

twitter ->

instagram ->

landonorris posted a story

liked by lilymhe, carlossainz55, and 157,814 others

user36 omg lol

user37 THAT'S Y/N'S CAT

user38 lol at ur response to ur friends saying ur obsessed with a girl is to post her cat on ur story with bows on

sydney_sweeney one of us now

landonorris this feels like a cult

user39 the coquettification of lando norris

user40 the y/nification of lando norris

landonorris

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 1,091,727 others

landonorris my response to everyone talking about me recently is you would be the same if you bagged a girl like mine

tagged: yourusername

view all 22,183 comments

user41 A GIRL LIKE MINEEEEE

user42 how did he do it

lilymhe congratulations 🥂

carlossainz55 yippee!!

oscarpiastri we are all beyond proud of you lando

danielricciardo good for you bro

charles_leclerc happy for you

mclaren our fav girl!!

yourusername 🤭🧡

user43 all the celebrations in the comments 💀

user44 they had no faith in him fr

yourusername blushing and giggling at this!!! i love my lil lando!!!!!

landonorris you what?

yourusername i wont be taking questions at this time

landonorris you love me so bad

landonorris i love you so bad

THE END 🧡

#f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 smau #f1 fic #f1 x reader #smau #f1 imagine #lando norris #ln4 #ln4 x y/n #ln4 smau #ln4 fluff #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #ln4 x reader #ln4 x you #maddie's smau

[chrolloluvr]

Adam, Mammon, Alastor and Lucifer if S/O is on their period

Note: AFAB!Reader, not proofread, (should I make a story out of mammons??)

Warnings: Mentions of sex, minor degrading?, fluff 🥺, cute moments

Adam 🕊️:

He has an idea of how periods or the menstrual cycle work. In his time of being married to Eve and Lilith, he basically just let them handle it themselves. But with you, thats not how it works

When you get moody swings, he tells you that your being dramatic.

"Babe what the hell? Take a chill pill, jesus."

Please slap him across the face.

When you get cramps, he will throw you some Pepto bismol and call it a day.

If you send him to the store, he will ask you what flavor tampon you want (???), and if he can have a visual representation on what size he needs.

He tried to FaceTime you 15 times...

Had to disguise himself so nobody knew he was there.

He will offer to have sex with you, since that was what seemed to work with his other two wives

Goes out and buys you snacks, but he forgets that you're on your period so he mostly bought them for himself.

Asks Lute for advice, since he isn't a girl.

You end up with your head resting on his shoulders, while you sit in his lap. He will call you a drama queen, but he will still comfort you.

Mammon 🕸️:

He knows literally nothing about periods or the menstrual cycle.

He never really cared to learn anything about it either, since he had never taken any romantic interest in anybody until you. He considered it a waste of time.

When you have mood swings, he does not take you seriously, and he will probably baby you.

"Awhh, dont get your thong in a twist sugar. Now calm down before i have to hold your ass down-"

When cramps roll around, he will just put his hand over your lower stomach. And just, leave it there? He thinks it helps you, so don't argue with him or he will back off of you.

When you send him to the store, he asks you for your pussy size...

Will FaceTime you, and show you all of the options.

Gets stopped and asked for photos multiple times, so it takes him like an hour.

He ends up getting you Nutella, pads, and a menstrual cup, because he thought it looked funny. He even jokes about it being his next big product.

Offers to eat you out. Yes, while you are on your period. He is a freak. He does not mind getting his mouth bloody. I HC that he actually prefers when you are on your period, because he likes the metallic tase and smell it emits.

Wont let you out of his sights during this time. He will let you lay on top of him while you two watch your favorite show. And he will hand feed you the chocolate and say,

"Heres comes the choo choo train cutie 😙"

Lucifer 👑:

He knows a lot about the menstrual cycle and how it works. He was very attentive to Lilith during their marriage.

When you get moody, he will distance himself from you, not wanting to add more fuel to the fire.

"Hey honey, I just wanted to check in on you, see how you were doing, you know-"

When you have cramps, he hates seeing you in pain, so he will heat up a heating pad and rest it on your stomach.

When you send him to the store, he goes in a disguise. He will call you and ask what specific products you want.

He ends up getting you strawberries, chocolate, medicine, etc.

He treats you like you are sick. Will force you to stay in bed under his supervision.

Will also offer to eat you out. He just wants to make you feel better, and he is an expert.

He will spoon-feed you medicine, and turn on your favorite show. He will snuggle up against your chest and fall asleep.

Will ask Charlie for some advice and help. He really does care for you deeply. So he just wants to make sure you are content and satisfied.

Alastor 🦌:

Knows quite a bit about period and the menstrual cycle.

When you get moody, he will also coddle you like Mammon. Will purposely try to get you more upset. But stops after a while, since he is a gentlemen.

"My little doe, lets stop with this tantrum. Your a big girl, aren't you?

When you get cramps, he will come up behind you and trap you in a bear hug while rocking the both of you. He will do this while using his thumbs to rub your shoulders.

Instead of the store, he goes to Rosie and asks her for supplies and advice. He hates seeing you upset, so what better of a person to ask for advice from than his long time friend Rosie?

He will not want to do anything sexual with you. Not because he does not like getting bloody, (he has, and isn't afraid to.), But because he does not want to possibly hurt you.

He will try to stay near you as much as possible. He maaaay even let you touch his ears if you look up at him all nice and cute.

Tells you a story, or will turn on the radio for you to both listen to.

#hazbin hotel #helluva boss #adam hazbin #adam x y/n #adam x you #adam x reader #Mammon hb #mammon x reader hb #mammon x you #mammon x y/n #hb mammon #adam hazbin hotel #stolas helluva #lucifer #lucifer x reader #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer x you #lucifer x y/n #alastor #alastor hazbin #alastor x reader #alastor x you #alastor x y/n

[stuniolvs]

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 ~ christopher sturniolo

summary.) chris reads bad comments about himself and you try to figure out what’s wrong.

warnings.) crying, chris being sad,

chris’ eyes watered as his eyes read over the words on his screen.

he was scrolling through the comments on his podcast liking the positive and funny ones, when he stumbled across the not-so-positive ones. now normally chris doesn't read them but he had decided to and it was a bad idea.

has anyone noticed chris is gaining weight?

god chris is so loud its so grading

i dont know how anyone stands chris he’s so loud and unbearable.

as chris read the last one more tears rolled down his face. he immediately thought to his girlfriend, did she think he was annoying?

maybe he should just tone it down. he thought as he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

when he woke up in the morning he turned on his phone and saw a text from you

ill be over in and hour baby 💕

okay see you soon

you furrowed your brows at chris’ dry response. he hadn’t answered your texts last night and now a dry response in the morning? something was definitely up.

as you drove over to chris’ you just enter the door seeing chris and his brothers laying on the couch watching a movie in the background while matt and nick argue about something on the couch.

you glance over at chris and see him not including anything in the conversation and staring at his phone.

“chris! hes in the wrong! right?” nick yells, gesturing with his hands as he speaks.

“sure” chris mutters.

you’re surprised at chris’ response and the fact that nobody has noticed your presence.

“hi baby,” you walk over to chris seeing a beanie on his head and a white blanket draped over his lap.

“hey” he murmurs. “are you okay?” you ask.

chris feels his throat burn at your question. “yep im fine, jus’ tired” he sniffles. “okay,” you whisper laying your head on his shoulder.

a couple hours later you, matt, and nick are talking and chris still hasn’t contributed anything to the conversation.

you give nick a look and look down at chris, then back up at him. when nick shrugs his shoulders you tug chris’ hand “hmm?” he asks.

“c’mon” you tell him still tugging his hand to his room.

“come on lets lay down baby.” you order him and pull him onto your chest.

“okay chris, what’s wrong?”

the second the words leave your mouth tears fill his eyes. “do you think im annoying?” he asks voice breaking. your heart breaks sheeting the boy in front of you. “no chris, why would you say something like that?” you reply

chris hesitates, “there were comments about me” he mumbles passing you his phone.

as your eyes skim over the comments displayed on his phone your eyes tear up. how could people be so rude? “oh baby” you whisper pulling him into your chest, kissing his beanie-covered head.

“chris. you are not annoying, not one bit. you’re my favorite person to be around and i love you so much. also baby you’re fine as fuck so don’t listen to anything they say. you’re the farthest thing from annoying chris. those people who are saying those things are stupid.” you’re cut off by a sob. “baby,” you say worriedly pulling his head up to see tears running down his pink cheeks. “i love you so much baby” he whispers his voice soft and crackly. “i love you more chris and don’t ever believe what they say again m’kay?” he hums in response. you lean in to his lips catching them in a soft kiss. he kisses back it lasts for a couple minutes untill chris pulls away. “im hot.” he pants pulling his black sweatshirt over his head as ripping his beanie off “yes the fuck you are” you mumble under your breath chris blushes and hides his head in the crook of your neck he presses against you so you can feel the heat radiating off his cheeks.

“i love you sweet boy” you whisper

“i love you more baby.”

#sturniolo triplets x reader #sturniolo triplets imagines #sturniolo triplets imagine #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo imagines #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo imagines #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut