#but you can't deny that it's fucking heartbreaking when you put effort into something

[abitohoney]

Workplace Violations

AO3 link

Grayson x female reader

Rating: Explicit, MDNI, 18+, NSFW

Tags: Pining, Enforcer Reader, Power Bottom Grayson, Soft Top Reader, Dom/sub Undertones, Soft Dom Grayson, Sub Reader, Smut, Praise Kink (For both), Lesbian Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Voice Kink, Porn with Feelings

Word count: 5.9k

Summary: Sheriff Grayson, your superior and apparently not-so-secret crush, has been under considerable stress as of late. So when you offer your aid via several means of relaxation, she isn’t about to refuse. And when she suggests some additional techniques that just so happen to be considerably less… conventional than others, well who are you to deny your superior?

AN: Already on AO3, just copying it over here. This was for an anon request from WAY too long ago. I'm very far behind on requests. 😩

To say today had been exhausting for Grayson would be a severe understatement. But, really, it's been far longer than just today. More like a hell of a year. Today just happened to be the shitty ass icing on the shitty ass cake. Sheriff Grayson (your superior and mentor for just over a year now) had spent the afternoon down in the Undercity. You (her faithful lap dog as some down there would call you) were at her side while she was trying to cut a deal with Vander to address the rising crime in Piltover. Crime carried out, very obviously, by the citizens of the Undercity. Grayson- bless her patience, understanding, and willingness to compromise- had gone from being chewed out by the Piltover council that morning for not doing enough, to being chewed out by the Undercity's overseers for doing too much. She just couldn't win. It was honestly heartbreaking for you to watch all of it. You knew it was wearing on her. She wore that confidence and carried out that grit with both the city she served and the poor repressed city beneath it. However, the moment she was back alone- well, besides you- in her office, she'd let that facade crumble and show just how utterly defeated she felt.

Striding into her office with you in tow not far behind, Grayson flops down onto the tall back chair at her desk with a resigned sigh. Leaning back, she closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her hooked nose. "Fuck," she exhales under her breath.

Her raspy voice, something you've been rather fond of since the first time you heard her speak, is strained even more than usual. You shift from one foot to the other from where you stand at the opposite side of the desk, struggling with what to do or say to help her.

"Sheriff, if I may," you begin softly, flinching when you see her brows furrow deeper.

“You know that formality is not necessary when we are alone.”

"Grayson," you correct yourself and she seems to at least relax her brows a bit at that. "I know things have been rough with trying to keep the peace between Piltover and the Undercity. It may seem like everyone thinks you're failing. But, I know there are people who do see the effort you're putting into this. They see and appreciate your genuine compassion for both sides. I know I do. And I- well, I'm quite proud to work for you."

Removing her fingers from her nose, she opens her eyes to regard you with a considerably softer expression. Her lips curl into a small, contented smile and you can't help the way that makes your heart skip a beat. "You're too kind, dear," she sighs. "Sometimes I wonder if you're too kind for this job."

And there went that little bit of hope you felt.

She must have noticed too, her eyes going wide for a moment before she starts backpedaling. "That's not what I meant. You're very good at your job. Why else do you think I only ever take you along on my most important tasks? What I meant is that it's not good for you. I don't want to see you so let down when things don't go as planned." Her already beautifully raspy voice is even heavier than usual, weighed down by how exhausted she is.

And it just breaks your heart.

"Sheri- Grayson, it's- it's not so much when things don't go as planned. It's when I see how much it hurts you," you admit, and you fear she can see the way your cheeks redden when she raises a brow.

She releases another heavy sigh and shakes her head. "Please don't worry about me, dear. I'll be just fine." Her tired eyes drift from you to the tall cabinet along the wall just to your right, where she stores her secret stash of liquid relaxation.

Secret to everyone besides you that is.

"Can I get you a drink?" You offer with a smile.

Her eyes brighten just a tad when they flit back to you. "Only if you pour one for yourself as well." The corner of her mouth tugs into a tiny smile before she adds, "And talk with me."

“Gladly,” you reply, and you hope she doesn’t catch how your smile grows dramatically at her request. Quickly, you head to the cabinet, removing two tall flute glasses from the upper half, then an unopened bottle of champagne from the refrigerated lower half.

Setting the glasses on her desk, you can feel her gaze on you as you attempt, with some minor difficulty, to remove the foil from the bottle.

“Need help with that?” she asks, amusement evident in the lilt of her voice.

You’ve only done this a couple of times, but you want her to relax. And you want to impress her with how cleanly you can do this.

“No. I’ve got it,” you reply. Once you’ve pried the wire cage loose, you aim the bottle away from both of you, just in case your statement turns out to be a lie. With one hand wrapped firmly around the bottle and one around the cork, you give both a good twist. The cork slips out with a resounding pop, but it’s controlled. Not so much as a drop is spilled. Grabbing one of the glasses, you carefully pour one and hand it to Grayson before pouring one for yourself.

"Nicely done," Grayson laughs as she taps her glass to yours. "To good company during less than good times."

Your cheeks heat at the compliment, and you hope she doesn't notice. "To a wonderful Sheriff," you say softly before bringing the glass to your mouth. You pause though, enraptured by the view of Grayson's lips through her own glass. They curl into a smile you've never seen her give anyone else in her presence. As you watch the way her bottom lip presses against the rim, your mind wanders to places it probably shouldn't. What would those lips feel like pressed against your own? On your neck? On your-

"Are you going to just stand there all evening, dear?"

Grayson's teasing and subsequent short chuckle snap you out of your daydream.

"S-sorry," you stammer. You duck your head, hoping she won’t notice your embarrassment as you scurry to take a seat in the chair at the opposite side of her desk. She simply grins at you, and despite it being over your own silly fumble, you can't help but feel a warmth spread through your chest that you're the one to cause it.

The two of you drink for some time. Exactly how long, you're not certain, but it's long enough for the two of you to down the last bit of champagne. Long enough for you to really start feeling those drinks kick in.

The alcohol toys with your senses. It leaves your judgment lacking, and your control lowered. You don't even realize how you're so blatantly admiring Grayson from across the desk as she stares wistfully off into the distance, reminiscing over her younger years. Nor how your eyes linger on her beautifully chiseled jaw and cheekbones, the swell of her chest. Or how you lick your lips when you watch, with blatant interest, as she lifts her glass and presses it against her lips to take a drink. Or how you shift in your seat when you see the bobbing motion down her neck as she swallows.

When did it get so hot in here?

Your focus shifts to the way her shoulders and back tense when she leans forward to rest her elbows on her desk. "Can I give you a massage?"

You bring a hand to your mouth, clearly too late to cover your slip. If your cheeks weren't already warm from the alcohol, they certainly would be now.

Grayson turns to you and stares, wide-eyed, for a moment, but says nothing.

"That was inappropriate of me to ask you," you finally blurt out after what feels like an eternity stewing in your own embarrassment. "I'm so sor-"

"Yes," Grayson interrupts.

Your mouth hangs open briefly before you’re able to form a reply. "What?" You ask dumbly.

"I would like that," she replies. “I could really use something to help relax right now.”

You stand— a bit too quickly. In your inebriated enthusiasm, you start to lose your balance. Catching yourself with a hand on the edge of her desk, you pray she doesn’t notice. You glance in her direction. Of course she noticed. Those sharp eyes are honed in on your hand. The one very obviously keeping you from toppling over.

Damnit.

“Perhaps another time,” she suggests, but the corner of her mouth curls just the tiniest amount in amusement.

Laughing awkwardly, you shake your head. “No. I’m good.” Feeling steady enough, you make your way behind her chair. Even with the alcohol to help calm your nerves, you still can’t shake the nervous feeling that washes over you. You're about to put your hands on Grayson, even if it’s just some innocent shoulder massages.

Innocent. Completely innocent.

Grayson normally stands a decent amount taller than you, but with her seated and you standing, it’s almost dizzying to have this bit of height over her. Slipping your hands over her shoulders, you run your palms back and forth across them several times. Glancing down, you find the view is going to be rather… distracting. Her uniform hugs the curves of her breasts a little too nicely.

So much for innocent.

Trying to keep your thoughts from drifting to places they shouldn’t, you turn your attention to the thick hair that covers the top of her head. As you start to incorporate gentle squeezing into your ministrations, you can feel the tense muscles beneath your hands start to relax bit by bit.

Grayson releases a quiet, deep hum of approval before taking a sip of her drink. “That’s lovely,” she rasps.

Janna, her voice is like fucking velvet.

You start to get a bit rougher with your hands, really digging at some of those stubborn knots. Her shoulders suddenly jerk, and you freeze, afraid you hurt her. Before you can apologize, that delightfully husky voice cuts through the air again.

“Mmmm. Right there, sweetheart. That feels wonderful.”

Sweetheart? Sweetheart?! Does she have any idea what she's doing to you right now? Innocence be damned. The way she fucking says those specific words. The possible connotation… used in a different… situation. Oh, what you would give to have that be the case. You quickly resume the massage, making sure you do exactly what you were doing to get her to drop that sweet praise.

Grayson’s eyes close and her head lulls back against the chair. The new position reveals a delightful stretch of her neck. And her face. Her blissful expression. Those slightly parted, wet lips. All at your doing.

"Lower," she husks.

You blink. "What?"

"You can go lower," she replies, and goodness, that incredibly sexy voice of hers has somehow gotten even huskier. Sultrier. And… suggestive?

As much as you want to think she means nice lower on her front side, you know that can't possibly be it. So you let your hands slide lower down her back. At least until you catch her eyes opening and flashing up to you as she arches a brow.

Oh my.

You start to reverse your path and her smile returns. She's watching your face so close that it only adds to the sudden, exponential increase in your body temperature. As the tips of your fingers just barely graze over the swell of her breasts, you freeze again.

Can you do this? Should you do this? You want to. She apparently wants you to. But it's not right, is it?

Apparently noticing your distress, Grayson places a hand gently on one of yours. "Only if you want to, sweetheart," she says quietly.

Oh, sweet Janna.

"Are you alright?" She asks, breaking you from your momentary daze.

"I- Yes. Why?" You manage to get out.

"Well, if I'm not mistaken, you just whimpered something along the lines of Oh sweet Janna."

Thank goodness your cheeks are already flush with the effects of consuming entirely too much alcohol, because the way your face burns at the realization of your slip, you could probably set fire to her hair if you got any closer.

“I’m- I’m okay,” you stammer. “Just had a bit too much to drink.” It’s not exactly a lie. Thankfully she appears to be satisfied with your answer, as her hand slides back down to rest on the arm of her chair.

Slowly, you let your hands travel further down before grabbing a handful of each of her breasts. You squeeze, gently, and the soft moan that pulls from her throat nearly has you moaning all the same.

You've only dreamed of this moment for the past several months. Only ever thought it would be a dream. Nothing more. Simply fantasizing about what you'd like to do to her. How you'd like to touch her. How you'd like to please her. Yet, here you are, in her office just fucking groping her, kneading her breasts as if this was an entirely normal occurrence between you two. And she seems to be enjoying it just as much as you are. Her eyes have fallen shut and her lips are pulled into a soft smile. Such a beautiful smile. And kissable lips-

“Open my jacket.”

“I’m- I’m sorry?” you stutter, blinking several times. Then you realize she's staring up at you expectantly.

“Come now. No more playing coy with me. You think I haven’t noticed how you watch me. How you hang on every word I say, even when it’s not work-related? Your hands are already on my tits, now just get my damn clothes out of the way.”

“Grayson, I- I-” you stammer.

What are you even supposed to say to that? She knows you've been infatuated with her? Have you really been that obvious? And she’s okay with it? Is the feeling mutual? She’s asking you to take her clothes off and touch her… so it must be, right?

You must be dreaming. It's the only logical explanation.

Hesitantly, you reach your hands down to release the clasps on her jacket. You’re not sure if it’s from nerves, excitement, or a bit of both, but your hands shake noticeably. Hopefully, she doesn’t notice. As you lean over her, stretching to reach that last clasp just above her belt buckle, your face comes dangerously close to hers. So close that you can smell the hints of citrus and spice from her champagne and the crisp, clean scent of her starched blouse beneath the jacket. You take in a deep, quiet breath through your nose as you release the clasp.

“You smell wonderful,” you murmur what was supposed to be kept in your mind. Quickly catching your slip this time, you try to withdraw, but Grayson’s hand catches yours against her chest.

Grayson’s eyes meet yours as she tilts her head to regard you. “Listen, darling, all this demure behavior, the blushing, it’s all rather delightful. Flattering really. But, I need you to understand that I’m more than okay with what we’re doing. I wouldn’t be asking you to do this if it wasn’t what I wanted, now would I?”

“No,” you reply dumbly, averting your eyes from her gaze.

“Now if you are not comfortable with this, we can stop.”

Your eyes go wide and shoot back to hers. “No!” you nearly shout. Janna, you need to get a hold of yourself. “I- I mean I’ve only dreamt of touching you like this for…” you trail off and look away again, feeling as if you’ve already admitted too much.

“As have I,” Grayson says softly as she gives your hand a squeeze.

What?

You gape at her, utterly dumbfounded.

She chuckles at your expression, and it’s so wonderfully deep and heartfelt it makes your head spin. “Don’t look so surprised, darling. Hard not to fall for a pretty, sweet thing like you.”

If you could blush any harder, you certainly would. But at least now you’re feeling considerably more confident knowing she’s had eyes for you all this time as well.

“Shall we?” Grayson asks as she slips her hand away from yours to grasp the buckle of her belt. It’s a simple question, but the way her voice drops lower, laced with a suggestive tone- not to mention the way her lips curl into the slightest smirk- clearly there’s something else behind those two words.

You nod and she proceeds to open her belt while you unbutton her white blouse. Pushing her jacket and blouse further open, you find her donning a simple white satin bra. Not that your attention remains there long when there’s so much soft, supple cleavage sitting there waiting to be touched.

Feeling a bit more emboldened now, you don’t wait for her to tell you again. As you slide your hands down her warm, soft chest, you watch her expression closely. Her eyelids droop as you slip beneath the cups of her bra to take a generous amount of her in your hands and gently squeeze. The deep, quiet groans that escape her parted lips encourage you to keep doing exactly what you’re doing.

“You’re doing wonderful, love,” Grayson groans.

Love?

Now you’re downright swooning for this woman. The pet names. The praise. The confessions. The touching. The moans. It’s all so wonderful and perfect. She’s so perfect. And as you start to roll your fingers over her hardening nipples, her responses become so much more delightful.

The soft groans spilling from her mouth turn into a sharp gasp when you give each nipple a playful pinch. Her grip on the arms of the chair becomes so tight you can hear the wood creak. She adjusts in her seat, scooting forward enough to allow her to spread her strong thighs. “Fuck me,” she husks.

Lust-filled eyes meet yours and you realize she wasn’t just moaning expletives out of pleasure. That was a command.

Oh shit. Oh fuck.

“Come here.”

Though she’s rather unclear on where exactly here is, you’re fairly certain she means between her and her desk. You move quickly, but she’s apparently quite impatient. You’re no more than turned to face her and she’s practically ripping the front of your uniform open, leaving you just as exposed as she is. Even the little gasp that you suck in is cut short as she grabs you by the lapels of your jacket and pulls you onto her lap, forcing you to straddle her.

Your hands fly out to grasp at the back of her chair, fearful you’re going to knock heads with how forcefully she pulls you against her.

“Grays-” your startled cry is muffled by the sudden press of her lips to yours. But it doesn’t matter. You forget everything else because she’s fucking kissing you. And it’s nothing like you had ever imagined. It’s so much better. She tastes of citrus and spices, even a hint of coffee. And her lips are smooth, soft, and moving hungrily. Janna, she is kissing you hard, and wild. It’s not sloppy. She keeps it clean and respectable. But it’s so deep and passionate. Like she's been wanting to do this for as long as you have.

As you gather your bearings, you let your hands slip down to her shoulders. You cling to her as you try to match the intensity of her kiss, tilting your head to let your nose rest alongside hers. The thin satin of her bra, and the cotton of yours, do little to withhold the warmth and softness of your chests pressed together. It leaves you sighing into her mouth, which lends her the opportunity to delve her tongue inside to roll along yours.

When she finally pulls back and loosens her hold on your jacket, you’re left panting and wide-eyed. Meanwhile, she seems to still be intent on devouring you whole. Without warning she pulls the front of your bra down, releasing both breasts before grabbing a handful of each. She pushes you back until your head rests against the top of her desk. Then she leans over to take a nipple into her mouth and sucks. Hard.

“Fuck,” you curse under your breath. Her rough treatment- the downright manhandling- is a bit startling. You’re well aware of how tough this woman can get, but you’re usually the exception. She’s typically so calm, gentle, and tender when she’s alone with you. This is a complete contrast. But you are not complaining. Not. One. Bit.

You sink your hands into her thick, wavy hair, pulling her face closer as you feel her swirl that wonderful tongue around your hardened peak. The pleasure of her mouth sucking, licking, and tugging at one nipple while her hand roughly fondles the other makes you arch your back and squirm in her lap.

When she sits back up, releasing your breast with a wet pop, it takes you a moment to come to your senses. Your hands, still in her hair, loosen and slip down to her shoulders while she helps sit you back upright. You catch her expression through half-lidded eyes- and damn, she’s still just as ravenous looking as she was moments ago.

“On your knees,” she rasps. “Remove my pants.”

Still too dazed from the onslaught of physical attention, it takes you a moment to fully process her commands. However, the moment she starts to reposition her chair to give you more room, you quickly move to stand between her thighs. Eager eyes locked with hers, you sink to your knees between the spread of her legs.

With the help of her lifting her bottom off the chair, you quickly slip her pants and underwear down over the top of her boots. And as she settles back into her seat, legs together, you wonder if she’s toying with you. You peer up at her, and judging by the faint curl of her lips, that’s exactly what she’s doing. But you can play along with that.

With your hands hovering just over the tops of her knees, you ask, “May I?”

“Please, love. I didn’t call you over here to simply stare,” she teases, but you’re too enraptured by the lust laced in her gravelly voice to form any sort of reply.

You run the palms of your hands over her knees and slowly up the tops of her toned thighs. Your fingertips trace over cords of muscle beneath soft, warm skin. They tense as your thumbs slip to the insides, inching closer to the apex. Bottom lip clamped between your teeth, you guide her legs apart.

Oh heavens!

Not only can you see her arousal glistening at the edges of her entrance. You can smell it. Somehow, despite a long day, she still smells fresh and clean. Much like her hair. But there’s still that familiar musk that’s all too specific to that area. And it leaves you rubbing your thighs together in an attempt to satiate the growing ache between them.

With your thumbs drawing closer to her folds, you peer up at her through your lashes, waiting for her to give you permission. To tell you what she wants. It's clear that she enjoys the position of authority, of having that control and power, in more than just her job.

Grayson meets your gaze through heavy-lidded eyes and her mouth pulls into a small, appreciative grin. She runs the backs of her fingers along your warm cheek before giving you a nod to continue.

Eyes locked on her expression, you slowly slip one finger inside her. And it's heavenly. She's so incredibly warm, soft, and wet.

“You feel so good,” you murmur. And you’re not sure if the way she clenches around your digit is a result of the praise or just the stimulation, but the quiet groan she releases quickly distracts you from that thought. It’s absolutely divine. Hearing it in her raspy tone is enough to have you biting back your own moan.

“Heavens, Grayson. I think I could get off on your voice alone.”

This time, when her hips buck towards your hand, a strangled gasp falling from her parted lips, you know it’s definitely from your words alone.

Wow.

You watch, transfixed, as her lids fall heavier until you barely see her eyes through the tiny slits. And you wonder, if she’s feeling this great when you’ve only just begun to touch her, what will she be like once you really get going?

Apparently too lost in thought again, you don’t realize just how long you’ve been gaping at her until she’s opening her eyes to peer down at you expectantly.

“Darling, please.”

She says please, but you know damn well she’s not asking. She’s insisting. You whisper a sheepish apology and avert your eyes, focusing instead on your finger as you drag it back out. It's coated, glistening with her arousal. You want to taste her, but you can still feel her watchful eyes on you. Instead, you slip a second finger in, sinking both up to the last knuckle. This time, when she groans, and her thigh muscles flex beneath your other hand, you can't hold back your own breathy moan.

Grayson lifts her hips off the seat as you curl your fingers and drag the tips along her walls while pulling them back out.

You watch, awestruck, as her hands curl around the wooden armrests. A quick glance back up at her face reveals her eyes have fallen nearly shut again.

"Fuck," Grayson curses under her breath.

You repeat the motion- fingers straight in, then curled out- several times, delighting in every twitch of her muscles. Every raspy groan that escapes past her parted lips. Every jerk of her hips.

She looks so perfect. Her square jaw so tense with concentration, dark brows furrowed, chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. A goddess.

“You’re so beautiful like this,” you whisper. And fuck, the way her head rolls back at your praise- you never in all your fantasies had imagined her like this. It leaves you teeming with such desire to please her, you can hardly think straight.

“Mouth,” she rasps between ragged breaths.

What?

“Use your mouth, love!”

That husky, breathless demand is enough to knock you out of your reverie to realize what she’s asking you to do. And you’re more than happy to oblige. Without breaking the rhythm you’ve set with your fingers, you scoot further between the spread of her knees, pushing her feet- bound by her pants around her boots- further beneath her chair. You peer up at her through your lashes once more, noticing how she’s watching you through the slits of her eyes, before letting your attention fall to the wet folds surrounding your fingers.

Eyes fluttering shut, you slowly drag the tip of your tongue from just above her entrance to the swollen bundle of nerves above. The taste of her floods your mouth.

“You taste so good,” you moan, but you’re not sure she can even hear you over her own deep groan. That is until you feel the way she clenches around your fingers and hear the almost guttural words that leave her throat.

“Oh fuck me.”

Wide-eyed, you’re not given a moment to respond to that reaction before you feel her fingers curl along the back of your head to pull, or rather shove, your mouth against her. Your muffled gasp quickly devolves into a soft moan. Nose buried in her thick curls, you inhale deeply. You’re met with a heady mixture of her arousal and the crisp scent of her soap. The insatiable need that forms a tight coil deep in your core drives an urge to touch yourself. To relieve some of that ache between your own legs. But you’re determined to focus on pleasuring Grayson.

Lips wrapped around her clit, you gently suck, just once, to gauge her reaction. And a reaction you get. Nails bite into the back of your scalp as Grayson inhales sharply from above you. Her muscles tense beneath where your other hand still rests on the top of her thigh.

Still feeling the desire to experiment and learn what gets you the best response, you swirl the tip of your tongue just around the sensitive bud. That one earns you a throaty groan and her grinding against your face.

"Don't tease," she husks.

If ever you were to lose yourself to sound alone, it would be to her voice right now. It's like gravel, but in the best way possible. So husky, deep, broken, and needy. And it makes her demand sound considerably less, well, demanding.

Despite the lack of severity in her tone, you still heed her instruction and press the flat of your tongue fully against her while scissoring your fingers. That combined motion elicits another one of those heavenly groans.

"Faster. Fuck me faster," She rasps.

You can feel her nails digging deeper into your scalp as she tries to set the pace, and you do your best to match that with your fingers. It doesn't take long for you to find the perfect cadence of sucking and licking, fingers curling and scissoring. One that has her releasing nothing but a series of curses and deep moans, all in that intoxicating voice of hers.

The moment you feel the muscles beneath your hands tense, you know she's reached the pinnacle. Aching to witness her undoing, you peer up at her through the lashes of your heavy lids. And oh Janna, you were already damn near bursting with your own arousal just with the sound of her, but now to see the normally cool and composed Grayson a complete wreck, there's no word to describe how turned on you are. Her jaw is slack, brows pinched, chest heaving, and hairline covered in a fine sheen of sweat. But that's not even the best part. At some point, the hand she'd been using to clutch at the armrest is now groping at her own breast.

Grayson's glassy eyes meet yours, and you try to convey to her without words just how wonderful she is. How she entices you through literally every sense. How you want, so bad, to make her cum. For her to release all that built-up tension.

She must see it in your eyes, because within a mere breath, you feel her muscles tense beneath your hand and her hips suddenly freeze. The hand at the back of your head holds you tight against her. A raspy, near breathless, curse falls from her open mouth, and- oh good heavens - you can feel her walls clench and spasm around your fingers. Warm, cum seeps past your fingers as you slowly help her ride out that sweet release. Captivated, you simply stare up at her through hooded eyes as she goes through the stages of her climax. 

When she meets your gaze again, the tiniest smile pulls at her lips. She gently rubs her fingers over the back of your head, soothing the little crescent-shaped indents she left there in her fervor.

She opens her mouth to speak, but freezes as both of you are rather abruptly ripped from your reveries by the door to her office swinging open unannounced.

Suddenly, you find your head clamped between two very powerful thighs, essentially locking your face and fingers in place as Grayson shoves you further beneath the desk while scooting further under herself. The hand in your hair protects you from knocking it against the desktop above, but as stunned and terrified as you are at potentially being caught going down on your superior, brain damage is the last of your concerns.

"Sheriff! There's been-"

The man's voice- a new recruit you recognize- suddenly trails off. No doubt because he's spotted Grayson in a rather suspiciously tousled state.

“Are- are you alright, ma’am?” he asks, taking in the sight of Grayson's open jacket, unbuttoned blouse, heaving chest, and the sweat at her brow and hairline.

Meanwhile, while stuffed into a terribly confined space, legs contorted in an odd manner to leave room for Grayson's legs, you find yourself struggling for oxygen. The death grip of Grayson's thighs around your head, along with the fear of stimulating her with any attempted movement, leaves your face buried deep against her cunt. But in all honesty, you think if you die right there from suffocation, is there really any better way to go than between the legs of Piltover's one and only drop-dead (pun intended) gorgeous sheriff?

“Yes! I’m fine! Besides the fact that one of my subordinates just barged into my private office without knocking," Grayson snaps.

Even though your sense of hearing is rather muffled, you can still detect that lingering husky panting in her tone. You've never heard her so… flustered. And you'd be lying if you said that didn't give you just a little stroke to the ego knowing you were the cause.

"Whatever it is, so long as none of my officers are bleeding, missing limbs, or on fire, surely it can wait until I've finished my work here.”

“Oh. I- I'm so sorry, ma’am,” the man stammers as he ducks out of the room as quickly as he came, nearly slamming the door shut behind him.

Grayson releases a long sigh as she leans back into her chair. Realizing that she's put you in peril, albeit a glorious one, she quickly scoots her chair back out and opens her legs.

When you're finally freed, you sit back on your haunches and suck in some much-needed oxygen.

"Fuck," Grayson heaves. "Are you alright, darling?"

You smile up at her sweetly, feeling plenty good and satisfied. Carefully pulling your fingers out from her warm cunt, you lock eyes with her as you slip them into your mouth and suck them clean.

"That's a good girl," Grayson coos. "Now come. Sit with me."

Slowly, you rise to your feet and straddle her lap. You rest your arms on her shoulders and she wraps hers around your waist. The two of you just smile at each other in silence for a moment, simply enjoying the views and the company.

"That was… so good, Grayson," you finally speak. "I damn near lost it just watching and listening to you."

Grayson says nothing. Instead, she slips a hand behind your neck and pulls you down for a kiss, but you can feel her smile. And you’re certain she can feel yours.

When she pulls back to admire your smile, you realize she is definitely much more relaxed now.

"So I take it my massage helped?" You jest.

"Oh it just certainly did," she chuckles. "So well, in fact, that if I wasn't concerned with the obvious conflict of interest, I'd say you deserve a hefty raise for this.”

"Well, maybe you could pay in another way?" You suggest with a mischievous grin.

"And what's that?" She asks with a cocked brow.

"Take me back to your place or come to mine and return the favor?"

"It would be my pleasure," she replies before pulling you in for another, much deeper kiss.

#arcane #Grayson #grayson x reader #arcane grayson #arcane grayson x reader #fanfic #honey writes

[saint-gerard-of-arc]

Why, why do artists, writers, gif makers, ANYONE who puts any sort of creative effort on something on this hellsite have to ask and beg everyone else to REBLOG their shit and not only LIKE.

#witchy.txt #good morning I'm bitter #I mean like #I don't care about 'being popular' ok #especially bc clout chasing here is even more useless than on ig or twitter #but you can't deny that it's fucking heartbreaking when you put effort into something #and all you can get is a pat in the back #that's what likes on your art feel like on this site #like jesus christ does it bother you that much to reblog? does it now? #does it bother tell an artist who spent five hours on a piece to tell them what you think of it? #I don't wanna guilt trip anyone. that's the last thing I want to do here #I'm just fucking upset bc I saw so much support before (like 20 followers in an empty blog counts as a win to me) #but now that I made my first post I have to reblog it MYSELF so it gets a little recognition? #what kinda bullshit is that #and I understand that not everyone could see it of course and hell thank you to anyone that has rbd it and told me their opinion on it #and of course it's the first post and a very particular one at that so I can't expect it to be a major success #the crüe first show ended up in a fight with the audience after all #but still. when it's likes only............ hhhmmmmmmm #idk man sorry for being an asshole #to delete later?

[justaredheadf1fan]

The Emilia Romagna 2022 GP killing me softly

Masterlist

Have I been around 5-6 hours shamelessly procrastinating instead of coming here and unburdening myself of all the shit that was going through my mind after that race? Indeed, I have. And now I'm basically writing this late because yes, I'm a fucking mess 🤦🏻‍♀️

Of all the shitshows I was considering possible for this race, worst case scenario was the chosen option, I see. In the words of Günther Steiner, paraphrasing... probably: fucking hell. No way in hell did I see this shit coming, honestly. I hope this is the last time this crap is pulled during this season, otherwise I might have a stroke before the season ends. Marina and I were talking during the race and we came to the conclusion that I've become her during season 2021. Which is true. I worried, I almost cried, I shouted at my laptop, I cursed my way through the whole race, I hated on plenty of the drivers, and so on. And for what.

Anyway, I'm not sure I'll get passed this, it was terrible. No upsides, no fun stuff whatsoever. 1-2 from RBR + Lando 3rd 🤬, Daniel hitting Carlos in the 1st lap and making Carlos retire (not that I care much about Carlos, but good thing my boy went after the race to apologize to him like the teddy bear he is), Leclerc clowning (I'm sorry, darling, but you know it's true) at the very end of the race, Mick unfairly falling back to almost dead last, Lewis 13th (thanks to Ocon's penalty since he was actually 14th)... I can't even begin to describe the clownery on this one.

I might get burned for saying this again, but I'm truly angry at Mercedes. Like, seriously pissed off. From my perspective, as always, I see that yeah Toto apologized to Lewis for the shitty car, but Jesus Christ Torger Wolff, THEN DO SOMETHING USEFUL ABOUT IT SO THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO, MAYBE? Like, they have our guy there trying stuff nobody knows what for anymore, having more weight put onto his tractor of a car and on the other side you have George (nothing against him) calmly swinging by ending up P4 with the "same" tractor. Excuse me, what!? I'll say it once (again) and I'll say it twice and I'll say it indefinitely until proven wrong. This is the year Mercedes HAS TO give Lewis everything to win this shitty championship, it's not the year to make him lose it, with no one else to blame this time but themselves. Otherwise, all the promises made and all the pain have absolutely no meaning. And I'm not denying that engineers, mechanics and everyone in the team have worked their asses off, because they have, as they always do, but the result doesn't show it at all.

And now we have Karen Horner saying that Lewis is after all an "eight-time world champion". When you say something without thinking you, deep down you mean it and, in the words of George Russell himself, that's a FACT! Okay, I need to stop.

Then, like it hadn't been hard enough already, I came to Tumblr to seek some solace after this crappy race, and what do I find? The saddest, most heartbreaking image from this day, Charles totally devastated after his failed attempt and resulting crash against the wall (ever so lightly that he could go on at least). I was sending an audio message to Marina while he crashed and I haven't asked her, but I was shocked at the very least, so the audio message must have been funny to hear 🥲 My poor little demon. It was a great effort, but ultimately wasn't bound to happen today I guess.

Last thing I wanna comment on, even though I haven't seen it myself and I had to ask what it was about (remember, I've missed almost 8 years of Formula 1, so I had no clue this happened) before saying anything about it, but apparently some tifosi fans have showed a very racist banner that happened to go viral a few years ago, as usual being racist to Lewis. What a shocker, huh? Worst thing is that most (if not all) media have showed it without remarking how disrespectful and wrong that was. No, no, they just showed if for a good 20-30 seconds and said nothing about it. Good job, Europe. Very, very nice. As if the act itself wasn't bad enough, you all just gave them screentime. For fuck's sake. It's 2022 and this just never seems to stop. Can we be any more stupid as a whole? I wish I could say no, but I know it wouldn't be true. We seriously NEED to do better. We've learnt nothing, it's so fucking sad.

Next race: Miami. New track in the US, which I wasn't looking forward to (even though I'm one US fan, but for more tourist and simple reasons). I mean, didn't we have enough with COTA? Where's Germany? Which has 2 fantastic and crazy tracks where we could enjoy very interesting scenarios, but noooooo. Jesus. Let's hope at least it's a better one, I'm not asking for it to even be a good one at this point.

Until then, peace out darlings!

#f1 #formula 1 #mercedes amg f1 #scuderia ferrari #aston martin racing #haas f1 team #mclaren f1 racing #alfa romeo racing #alpine f1 team #scuderia alpha tauri #williams racing #sir lewis hamilton #George Russell #Charles Leclerc #Carlos saint jr #sebastian vettel #lance stroll #mick schumacher #kevin Magnussen #daniel ricciardo #lando norris #zhou guanyu #valtteri bottas #esteban ocon #fernando Alonso #pierre gasly #yuki tsunoda #alex albon #nicholas latifi #emilia romagna gp 2022

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: ugh, been here that long? 😒 Jimmy: Flown by, has it? Janis: been delightful Janis: must get back more often Janis: what are you doing, tell me its something equally as shit Jimmy: 🐕🏃💩 Jimmy: and trying to ask you a question Janis: go on then Janis: just make sure it ain't stupid Jimmy: Do you know owt about this fair that's about 'cause Cass won't shut up saying she's gonna go in a bit Janis: oh yeah Janis: up on the big playing fields Janis: every fucker goes, probably why she wanna Jimmy: Alright so every dickhead like there'll be kids she knows from school there or every dickhead like she's gonna get murdered? Janis: awh Janis: like the cool kids are allowed to go down with a fiver on their own and the less cool kids have their parents hovering in the back Janis: she'll be good, won't kidnap her make her work the rides, like Jimmy: 👌 Janis: kid would probably like it and all though Janis: and I wouldn't advise letting him go alone, or with Cass to be promptly dumped when he ain't tall enough for the decent rides Jimmy: I'm not my dad Jimmy: @ him with that advice Janis: don't remind me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: Well you're uninvited now so 💔 is right Janis: don't be like that Janis: you know you want me to win you a 🧸 Jimmy: Don't be trying to butter me up 'cause you know Ian couldn't win owt Jimmy: proper fickle you Janis: called keeping you on your toes Janis: but if you can't keep up, like Jimmy: and this is called putting you in your place, dickhead Jimmy: 🥇 and 1st choice me, tah Janis: not that I don't love the self-worth Janis: but don't be tearing me down for it Janis: I'm 🥇 forever Jimmy: you'll need to get used to it if you're planning to be with him Janis: not the plan Jimmy: You coming with us then or what? Janis: sure Janis: anything to get out of here and it sounds vaguely wholesome so they'll get off my case Janis: when you going? Jimmy: Tell them you have to so it don't look like I'm on Cass' case Jimmy: then she gets to be 😎 an' all Jimmy: How soon can you get here without being in more trouble for it? Jimmy: Can't be a really late late one if Bob's coming Janis: yeah, that'll swing it Janis: vaguely irresponsible childcare is their shit Janis: gimme 10 to convince them and like, 20 to meet you there Janis: be quicker Jimmy: 👍 Janis: she got a group of mates she hangs with or what Jimmy: or what Janis: still a laugh Janis: get us in for free too Jimmy: I didn't realise Grace was a paid 🤡 Jimmy: all that makeup makes loads more sense now Janis: 😏 Janis: she just shares foundation with her white friends #aspirationalshades Janis: nah but I know how to avoid the entrance/fee so don't go in without me Jimmy: I wouldn't dream of it, babe Janis: 💕 Jimmy: You gonna wear a 🌹 for me, Juliet or am I gonna have to try and remember what you look like? Janis: no way to go about getting me to wear anything for you, boy Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: might get a few 👀 and 😳 if you turn up with nowt on, girl Janis: you got dad jokes now Janis: every day we get further away from 😎 boy Jimmy: 45 and single would be more depressing, don't you reckon? Janis: no one's 😂 at that, fair Jimmy: See, know what I'm doing, me Janis: master planner, yeah Jimmy: Not done a bad one yet, like Janis: depends on your definition, that Jimmy: Depends on yours Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: hot Jimmy: that your plan is it? Janis: hm? Jimmy: Challenge accepted Jimmy: I've got the stamina for all night 😍😍🤤🤤 easy Janis: don't need to fake it Janis: 💀👑 and co aren't gonna be there chowing down on a dirty burger to go pukeup on the waltzer Janis: probs Jimmy: now that's hot Jimmy: warn me next time if you're gonna throw around words that paint such vivid pictures Janis: you're the poet 'round here, got it 😏 Jimmy: not any more 💔🎻 Janis: awh come on, you like it when I'm on top really 🏆 Jimmy: You're just on a roll then, yeah? Jimmy: Couldn't stop with the poetry if you wanted to Jimmy: Alright fine, keep talking Jimmy: You've got me all 👂 Janis: if I was really rolling with it, I'd say that's not the part of you I most wanna affect Janis: but we're being wholesome this evening Jimmy: Oi, I signed nowt agreeing to that Janis: 🥇 brother, babe Jimmy: 😒😒😒 Janis: I know Janis: but that'll be Cass if you don't give her space and what the kid don't know won't hurt him so Janis: not all doom and gloom Jimmy: I know an' all Jimmy: she's told me every chance she gets how shit her hols have been Jimmy: but I don't remember signing owt that makes them my problem Janis: wouldn't be a kid if she didn't say that Janis: never live up to the hype of not being stuck in a shithole for 6 hours a day, like Jimmy: she needs to delete her socials even more than I do Jimmy: all them dickheads putting 💡 and #s in her head that I can't compete with and Ian ain't trying to Janis: it's the worst Janis: either in some all-inclusive in spain or having shopping sprees and sleepovers every day, yeah Janis: when in reality they're filling their pockets with bread rolls for lunch at the breakfast buffet or stealing hairbands from penneys Janis: can have a word, if you want Janis: girl's shit, really Jimmy: she'd deck you, mate Jimmy: Tah from me though Jimmy: do my best to protect you and that gorgeous face Janis: 😏 Janis: I have tact, you know Jimmy: I know, but you don't know her Jimmy: she's Janis: no worries Janis: not like I'm dying to Jimmy: that'll be mutual Jimmy: had to stop her sending 💀💀💀 threats to my ex Jimmy: only allowed to laugh about it when she's out the room Janis: it's nice Janis: that you're all close like that Jimmy: it's necessary when your dad's a bellend and your mum ain't about Jimmy: it'd be nice if she had some mates Janis: it'll happen Jimmy: not if she keeps holding her fucking breath on us going back Jimmy: she won't get it through her head that it ain't gonna happen Janis: pretty standard too ain't it Janis: when you don't wanna be somewhere Janis: sure someone can deal with being her 'temporary' mate and break through Jimmy: We could be gone tomorrow and it won't matter Jimmy: problem for another place Jimmy: and different kids Janis: you reckon Jimmy: ? Janis: well, ain't that the same idea Cass has got Jimmy: I said, she's keeping hold of the wrong one Janis: yeah but what's the difference Janis: she reckons you're going back, you reckon you're going on Janis: fact is, you're probably stuck for the forseeable Jimmy: Difference is, she'll get 💔 Janis: and you wont Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Don't know Janis: asking you Jimmy: I'm not the one expecting my old mates to put themselves on pause or my mum to be waiting with open arms to fix owt Janis: no Janis: it's fucked Janis: but what can you do Jimmy: move on Janis: right Jimmy: How much 💰💰 should I actually give her for this bollocks? Janis: tenner? Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what did your ex do then Jimmy: For a job? Clothes shop Janis: to warrant 💀 threats, idiot Jimmy: Does owt warrant death threats? Janis: loads Jimmy: There you go, she did loads then Janis: alright Jimmy: What you asking about her for? Janis: said it was 😂 Jimmy: What Cass reckons she can get away with always is Jimmy: usually does an' all, to make it funnier Janis: see, nice Janis: outside a shop, you want anything or should I keep 🏃 Jimmy: crack on Janis: 👍 Janis: you're excited to get your vom on, I get it Jimmy: Gotta keep 💀👑 #invested Janis: you know your 😎 went through the roof when you deleted Janis: just part of the master plan, not stupid, like Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you're meant to say you did it for me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: everything I do is for you and you know it 💕 Janis: better be Janis: can report on how #ungoals you've become at any time Janis: be warned Jimmy: That meant to scare me? I ain't the one who easily does, my dear Janis: 😑 Janis: such a dickhead Jimmy: you Jimmy: I still like you though Janis: never done anything wrong, thank you Janis: 'cept liking you, maybe Janis: such a bad boy after-all Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: not tonight, you said Janis: that don't sound like me Janis: you sure? Jimmy: have a read back if you don't wanna take my word Janis: maybe you're not you Janis: sounding a lot like a 🤓 rn Jimmy: Piss off Janis: prove me wrong Jimmy: come here Janis: [does 'cos always saying shit when she's nearly there ofc] Jimmy: [soz siblings he's got something to prove so look away] Janis: [just like ewww lmao, at least she's gonna sneak you in the back so earning some points back] Jimmy: [Cass will be impressed by that deffo] Janis: [prove you ain't lame babe] Jimmy: [#notlikehisex] Janis: [just denying he has siblings 'cos not got the time lol] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [we all know the sort] Jimmy: [soz that you're too busy fucking half the north including your dad's mate, babe] Janis: [oosh, not a mood, unlike playing all these funfair games 'cos competitive] Jimmy: [I love it, he should win her a bear to go with the one he stole lol] Janis: [yasss, also Bobby needs to have a go on the hook a duck 'cos easy and be buzzin' about it] Jimmy: [my fave and yeah they should both help him do some of the other games cos team effort] Janis: [lil squad] Jimmy: [win him over so casually Janis, love that for you] Janis: [kids are easily won over if you aren't OTT/or just plain rude either way] Jimmy: [nevertheless Jimmy would be hardcore 😍 cos nobody else has bothered] Janis: [what a gay old time, what should happen, should anyone else be here ooh possibilities] Jimmy: [oooh fair point, we could always have Grace be if we don't wanna the drama of the others cos her and Mia had that domestic so] Janis: [why not although why are you here girl, just straight chilling lol] Jimmy: [feasible she could be with a lad and we know it wouldn't be goals so makes them more goals] Janis: [awkward, at least you can't fully doubledate it 'cos there are children here also but could put Bobby on them for a sec so they can go on a decent ride alone] Jimmy: [that was the thought I had cos Grace loves kids that's heartbreaking true facts] Janis: [poor babe] Jimmy: [and if Bobby don't hate her we can use her as a babysitter when we need at other points too haha] Janis: [shameless] Jimmy: [I dread to think the lad she is with ugh honey no] Janis: [ditch him for this child lowkey] Jimmy: [she would and that's the tea] Janis: [go on all those big kid rides lads] Jimmy: Do I need to pick up our kid and leg it?  👀 Janis: she'll be fine Janis: got enough around that you have to be semi-competent, like Jimmy: 🥇 recommendation that, babe Janis: you want her to give you references Janis: like I'd let her if she was gonna fuck it up Jimmy: and what if that twat she were with comes back? Janis: doubt he's a child snatcher, even if he is a twat Janis: can go back, if you're worried but seriously, it's fine Jimmy: Alright, shut up Jimmy: it's just Jimmy: I have to look out for him Jimmy: no fucker else is Janis: I'm not taking the piss Janis: honest Janis: I promise she knows what she's doing, yeah Jimmy: At least if 💀👑 appears we'll have a valid excuse to finally kill her Janis: yeah? Janis: wouldn't be caught dead saying she's got sweets in her car though Janis: 🐶s maybe but definitely have a dog walker and just take sweet 'grams of it Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: surrounded by bitches, her Janis: always, just don't let babysitter hear you Janis: bit rude Jimmy: You better shut me up then Jimmy: [pulling her into a kiss obvs] Janis: [just have your moment, I like to think they're on a ferris wheel which 100% they could all go on so you didn't need to do that alone but you did for the romance] Jimmy: [that's so cute though, I like to also think about how before they would've taken so many pics for the fans but now it's either none or just actually for them] Janis: [truly, we love the fake time but it is a cluster fuck for yous] Jimmy: [just have a nice time making out to make use of your alone time you two, I'd say bang but too many peeps would see you] Janis: [like when someone got a beej on the coachella one and the clip was everywhere lmao] Jimmy: [omg what really!? amazing] Janis: [yes and everyone thought it was james charles, giving, I think and he had to be like no lol] Jimmy: [iconic] Jimmy: [then get on them cray rides and try not to 🤢 your candy floss boyyy] Janis: [imagine, sexy] Jimmy: [he won't he only voms when other peeps do so as long as nobody else does when they get off lol] Janis: [just running so you don't see 'cos peeps always do, bless] Jimmy: [gotta be tough and impress the bae] Janis: [know they're having a lovely time] Jimmy: [I'm glad we chose this now, v them but also Cass and Bobby would be living for it so] Janis: [it's a good idea, and like a reasonable everyday life vibe like not everyone is living lavish or being wild as hell it's not a thing, don't wanna be those bitches] Jimmy: [and even Grace would be having a good time so that makes me happy cos I'm so mean to her haha] Janis: [poor grace, bobby should give her his prize 'cos janis has that massive bear] Jimmy: [when a 6 year old is nicer to you than any lad you've been with, god bless] Janis: [don't cry girl] Jimmy: [so glad you've made a real friend babe even though he's a bub] Janis: [meanwhile don't get carried away you two, can't leave him with her forever] Jimmy: [do get a bit carried away though cos you're still you] Janis: [obvs, should go on some funhouse vibe thing, you know where the floors move and mirror mazes, that kinda vibe] Janis: [get lost for a bit] Jimmy: [a mood] Janis: [just being shameless in those dark corners honey] Jimmy: [you gotta cos these kids are gonna have had too much sugar, they ain't going to bed early lol] Janis: [oh ian, if only you were about to dump that mess on] Jimmy: [omg what if he is about with a lady friend and we ruin it] Jimmy: [casually trying to have a glass of wine but think again] Janis: [hahaha why not, any chance to piss him off] Jimmy: [my thoughts exactly] Janis: [plenty of places they can do if he throws a strop later] Jimmy: [yeah true and that could be a mood in itself if we want, plus Cass would let y'all back in eventually cos you are in her good books rn] Janis: [gotta gang up on Ian always on principle] Jimmy: [the real squad goals] Janis: [truly, is there any other shennanigans we want at the fair that we should document in here] Jimmy: [he should be a 🦋 cos such a basic white girl thing lol] Janis: [yasss lmao] Jimmy: [what are you gonna pick girl?] Janis: [hmm 🐍] Jimmy: [gonna have to shower together later to take that off, what a shame] Janis: [oh no 😏] Jimmy: [not soz about your water bill Ian] Jimmy: [oh they should get food so they can sit for a bit] Janis: [yas, there's all the trash food at the fair] Jimmy: [we all know they could eat it walking but they wanna be cute] Janis: [make the most of that time kids] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: [when your mouth probably is that full so you can't talk lol] Janis: 👍 Janis: 😋🤤 Jimmy: were talking about the grub but go on 💕😏 Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: you're alright too, I guess Jimmy: 🥇🦋 me Janis: better put the grwm up asap Jimmy: [looks around dramatically as if Grace is gonna be summoned by the phrase GRWM like shhh] Janis: [lols] Janis: don't tempt fate Jimmy: you Janis: [mimes 🤐] Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: I'm trying to talk to you Janis: a bad date, you know that Jimmy: cheap ain't bad to me, rich girl Jimmy: you're alright Janis: [a look] Jimmy: [always keeping that eye contact going] Janis: ['I-'] Jimmy: ['yeah, you'] Janis: [nudges him like oi but shakes her head] Jimmy: [nudges her back and nods] Janis: trying to talk to you, you know Jimmy: Go on then Janis: can't Jimmy: Why? Janis: [mimes 🤐 again but we know that ain't it sis] Jimmy: [mimes unzipping her lips and does the thing where you brush your thumb over the bottom one at the same time] Janis: [goes to kiss him like let's do that instead tah] Jimmy: [leans in like he's gonna let it happen but then whispers in her ear instead 'say something' but is then loving upon her 👂 cos love a throwback and a mood] Janis: [when that took you by surprise and you're failing to hide that so you just kinda blurt out 'I've had a really good time' then you're so 😒😳 at yourself] Jimmy: [actual kisses that she can feel him smiling during because same] Janis: [being appreciate af for all the reasons tbh but mainly that he didn't take the piss then] Jimmy: [It's a MOMENT for all the reasons] Janis: [between kisses 'I didn't just come to help you, you know that, yeah?'] Jimmy: [kissing her harder because you know but that don't mean you know what to say, tables have quickly turned lol] Janis: [can always rely on a makeout sesh when words fail] Jimmy: [live your best lives kids] Janis: we should probably go back yeah Jimmy: [when you shamelessly don't wanna so you're just keeping the love going like you didn't read that] Janis: ['Jimmy' hardly making him stop though 'cos you're not dying to go yourself] Jimmy: ['just gimme one more...' are you gonna say minute or second or kiss or what boy?] Janis: ['I'm not going anywhere'] Jimmy: [this boy is actually DYING like the noise he would make we can only imagine because that was so the right thing to say] Janis: [shhing him with your finger but you're 😍] Jimmy: ['let's go somewhere-' getting that finger in his mouth like he did when he was drunk but drunk in love instead honey 'for a bit'] Janis: [your turn to make some noises, just nodding like we gotta, 'they'll call if they need us, yeah'] Jimmy: [just lowkey dragging her away but still kissing so watch out crowds of peeps] Janis: [always causing a scene] Jimmy: [not even trying to this time, ILY you two] Janis: [just that highkey] Jimmy: [they should probably go back soon though fr] Janis: [sad but yes] Jimmy: [Grace will be gutted to lose her new bestie] Janis: [we should do a convo with them] Jimmy: [why not tbh] Janis: [by which I mean grace and janis, not grace and bobby, soz babe lol] Jimmy: [hahaha don't worry babe we'll make sure you stay in touch with that lil man] Janis: [going to need to find cass] Jimmy: [start sending those texts boy] Janis: [you know she gonna be cheeky and try and stay out longer tis her prerrogative] Jimmy: [mhm it'll be like in Euphoria when they have to search for her sister but less drama lol] Janis: [yes don't need to be that concerned, yet] Jimmy: [put Bobby on your shoulders so he can look for her like that scary grass movie] Janis: [that was a time] Jimmy: [I'VE JUST REALISED TWIX IS ALL ALONE AT HOME AND NOW I'M FORLORN] Janis: [my boo says noooooo lmao] Jimmy: [I hope she's destroyed Ian's stuff tbh] Janis: [start the hate train honey, they'll be back soon] Jimmy: [we can probably assume that its not far if he lives near school cos usually on the field like] Janis: [my thoughts, it won't be far] Jimmy: [I like to think that Bobby is chatting the whole way cos had the best time and is buzzing] Janis: [he deserves that, also Jimmy to not be getting an earful, thanks kids] Jimmy: You had a good time then? Janis: oi Jimmy: What? Janis: don't take the piss Jimmy: ? Janis: I told you I did Jimmy: So what that's all you're gonna say about it? Janis: what would you like me to say Jimmy: Why don't you have owt to say to me today? Janis: I've said loads to you Jimmy: Alright Janis: what Janis: soz I'm not known for my conversation Jimmy: I said alright Janis: 'cos that means it is Jimmy: if it weren't, I'd say Janis: alright Jimmy: No need to be a dickhead Janis: can't win with you Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: do you wanna say something or what Jimmy: Are you waiting for me to say something? Janis: for god's sake Jimmy: Don't have a go at me Janis: Well this is just stupid Jimmy: Obviously Jimmy: forget I said owt Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [lets get them in the gaff cos that won't be awks hi Ian] Janis: [already in such a good mood, least he can't do shit if he's got a bird in, pretend he ain't raging like] Jimmy: [Cass just asking if he paid her to be here like she always does] Janis: [just there trying not to lol but not trying that hard like 😏] Jimmy: told you she were funny Janis: didn't doubt it Janis: boy's on one too with his sugar high Jimmy: never a bad plan me, told you that an' all Janis: you can't claim credit for this Jimmy: Why? Janis: let him have his moment all to himself, you diva Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: stage mum vibes, tbh Jimmy: If that's your way of bowing out of karaoke night down the local Jimmy: so subtle you Janis: just 'cos I ain't Beyonce, don't mean I couldn't own you Janis: and likewise Jimmy: come on then Jimmy: I fancy a drink even more now you've promised me a show with it Janis: seriously Janis: drink, fine Jimmy: 🙀? Janis: 1. I doubt the local even has a karaoke night Janis: 2. are you gonna as well Jimmy: 1. it does and it's happening right now Jimmy: 2. What you scared for? All paddys have the voice of a 😇 so I've heard Jimmy: 3. like a choir boy me Janis: 1. just kill me now, romeo Janis: 2. not scared, just not a MASSIVE show-off like you 🤷😉 Janis: 3. more like the priest, perv Jimmy: Stop stalling, girl Janis: ugh Janis: get your coat then, mate Jimmy: [grabs his jacket but throws it at her because he's tough obvs lol] Janis: ['hide in it when you embarrass me' and mimics as much] Jimmy: ['hide your blushes when you embarrass yourself more like'] Janis: ['given you no reason to doubt me, deny that'] Jimmy: ['You can piss off if you reckon I have'] Janis: ['did I say that?'] Jimmy: [pushes her along like come on but playfully not like #problematic] Janis: [pushes back but when they're out the door pulls him back into her 'you gonna still fancy me if its really bad?'] Jimmy: ['You were warned that you'd be dumped for not keeping shit goals' but pulls her even closer to him] Janis: [pouts, 'knew you were just waiting for an excuse'] Jimmy: ['an excuse to stay off the socials for a bit maybe' does the biting of the pouty lip kiss thing for what I think is the first time omg 'you still gonna cheer me on if you're the only dickhead watching?'] Janis: ['won't livestream it' 🤞 and into that, a lot 'I'll have to get over my heartbreak, real fast but yeah, you're a mate'] Jimmy: [🚬 even though its not remotely far to the pub, we know the drill she's getting one lit first even though he didn't ask if she wanted one] Janis: ['get me a couple shots of whiskey when we get there and my voice should be-' does the chef's kiss thing] Jimmy: [gives her a look like what'll take for you to believe in my best laid plans #cheeky cos he didn't plan that vocal advantage at all lol] Janis: [shakes head 'nah, you like winning too much...' pauses like she's working it out then gasps dramatically 'OH MY GOD- ARE YOU PETE'S SINGER?! If he's there, all bets are off, need at least 2 weeks to rehearse my number properly'] Jimmy: [lols before he can stop himself even though the jealousy of thinking she wants to fuck Pete is so real] Janis: ['you should know how long stage costumes take to make, mommy' pushes into his side but kisses his cheek whilst she's at it] Jimmy: [😏 to hide the jealousy 😒 mood 'oi, it's daddy or nowt, tah'] Janis: [lols 'yeah right'] Jimmy: [get in that pub and order that whiskey boy its really not far] Janis: [i need to think of a song damn] Jimmy: [he is blatantly doing romeo and juliet by dire straits cos MUST] Janis: [i so knew hmm] Janis: [have to do some prince, go off honey] Jimmy: [let's say he goes first so he don't have to follow her after she's slayed the game] Janis: [we all know it's gonna be adorable also excuse me i think they still have their face paint on Janis: lmao the pub peeps like oh god] Jimmy: [omg yes because fled from Ian so haven't showered yet] Janis: [oh boys i love that for you] Jimmy: [when he's gonna be so 😍😍😍 at her talent though bye] Janis: [when you wouldn't think you were anything special 'cos your role in the fam ain't that, same with art, like there's always someone that's better than you] Jimmy: [literally also Grace's mood even before she had Mia as a friend to put her down but she's GOOD and I'm mad at Cali for having so many talented beautiful kids tbh] Jimmy: Pete's fucked up if you ain't his lead singer, Jules Jimmy: 💔 we didn't livestream now to @ him and all his bandmates Janis: I ain't Janis: no accounting for taste but don't reckon his love of rock chicks goes as deep as face tats Janis: 💔 you look so pretty Jimmy: [lols and genuine smiles] Jimmy: Oi, I'm serious Janis: and I ain't? Janis: psh, think the auld fella in the corner was 😢 at your rendition Janis: probably thinking 'bout the ex, and the kids Jimmy: Seriously take the compliment then Jimmy: I don't mean it like my ex shattering the shower glass and reckoning she's Mariah when all she is is a menace to local 🐕s Jimmy: You're Jimmy: proper good Janis: [is 😳 but trying to play it off for both their sakes] Janis: if any pint glasses hit the deck, that weren't me Janis: back me up, yeah Jimmy: we're a team, I don't get to do nowt else Jimmy: [goes to get her celebratory drinks because swag bitch] Jimmy: I'll take your well subtle hint though brb Janis: is that your subtle hint you ain't happy being my backup singer? Janis: it's an important if overlooked job, babe Jimmy: not to you Jimmy: I'd have to go full poltergeist to get noticed at all Janis: but baby Janis: always shared the spotlight before Jimmy: I meant what I just said Janis: I know but Janis: idk what to say so Jimmy: shut up and let me get a word in then Jimmy: or just drink this Jimmy: [boy returns] Janis: bit rude Janis: [but takes drink happily and takes big swig like okay let's hear it] Jimmy: bit fuming that you've been sitting on a talent that massive Jimmy: [takes a swig of his drink too which I like to think is something he made up like when my brother put shots of apple sours in a pint of strongbow and got one for me so I started doing it too on nights out and blew my friends minds] Jimmy: [casually made it up on the spot just then for her and her victory cos he's that bitch] Janis: [yas, love that for you guys, just doing a 'not bad' face 'cos you can't place what it is fully but you like it] Janis: why? Janis: should we monetize it, like 💰💰💰 Jimmy: You ain't in owt for the cash, always hearing it from you, rich girl Janis: don't remember putting it like that tah but alright, you can still be 😠😠😠 Jimmy: Tah for giving me permission to out diva you, babe Jimmy: give it my best off the stage anyway Janis: [😏] Jimmy: hit more high notes then an' all Janis: [lols] Janis: shh Janis: make me 😳 Jimmy: Best laid plans Jimmy: you know that one's my fave Janis: you're mine Janis: [pop off sis, you must be tipsy, but quickly drink some more to be sure] Jimmy: [when you were taking a drink and nearly choke to death] Janis: [when you wanna die but are casually smacking him on his back so he don't like oh god] Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me you will Janis: don't Jimmy: don't is right, we're meant to go together Janis: then focus on breathing Janis: preferably when there's 🚱 Jimmy: No need, I come alive for you remember Jimmy: I only stop breathing when you ain't about Janis: still the poet Jimmy: still got a 🥇 muse Janis: 'course Janis: say I'm the Cher to your Sonny but no need to throw those allegations around Jimmy: Do throw me a warning if you're gonna go around being that stunning and good at loads more things though, yeah? Janis: should've got a ⚠ not a 🐍 noted Jimmy: [traces along the 🐍 with a fingertip lightly and oh so casually] Janis: [sighs blissfully and closes her eyes 'cos touch but also a mixed sigh of that and frustration 'cos-] Janis: am I ever gonna be able to tell what you mean and what you don't Jimmy: You could ask me Janis: every five seconds, that'd get old fast Jimmy: I've got a little brother and a puppy, it's nowt I couldn't handle Janis: Yeah, well want those to be the comparisons you go to Jimmy: Baby Janis: don't worry, it's a me problem Janis: not you Jimmy: I like you, that makes it my problem too Jimmy: if you don't know Janis: It's like Janis: I know you wanna fuck me Janis: and I know we have a laugh too Janis: there's just lots of stuff that doesn't strictly fit into either of those catergories Jimmy: Alright so gimme an example Janis: we're gonna sit here and sort it all out, are we? Janis: ain't there anything else you'd rather with your night of freedom Jimmy: Why not? Janis: [shakes head] Janis: we could fuck Janis: or have fun Janis: or a combination of the two Janis: easy Jimmy: If that's what you want Janis: well not if you don't Janis: not the point Jimmy: I never said I don't Janis: you didn't say what you do wanna do with tonight though Janis: think about it, imma go take a piss Janis: [run girl run] Jimmy: [downing that drink, fun times] Janis: [takes a bold amount of time for a piss and when she comes back she's taken the snake off] Jimmy: [he's at the bar ordering more drinks obvs but gotta NOTICE like the whole world stops honey, just staring at her not at all casually from across] Janis: [just looking back for the longest time] Janis: a good choice Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: pisshead Jimmy: You're one to try and talk Janis: psh Janis: can't take back singing your praises about mine, honey 🎤 Jimmy: Oh I weren't Jimmy: if owt it makes it more impressive that you can carry a tune Jimmy: still 🤐 Janis: love a backhanded compliment, you Janis: not gonna shout across this bar Jimmy: not gonna say nowt Jimmy: you can save your excuses Janis: what you being such a dick for Jimmy: [comes back with the drinks as if that means he isn't a moody hoe okay then] Janis: [just looking at him like go on then] Jimmy: I don't get you Janis: what don't you get? Jimmy: sometimes you're so with me it feels like taking a massive breath Jimmy: and that I could live off it for days Jimmy: but then Janis: [looks away] Janis: I can't always be here Janis: that's how it's been long as it's worth remembering Jimmy: Do you wanna be here? Jimmy: this now Jimmy: do you even want it? Janis: wanting shit is Janis: dangerous Jimmy: [gets up to go without finishing that drink even] Janis: ['hey'] Jimmy: [ignoring her in a not at all casual manner] Janis: ['stop' and getting up to follow] Jimmy: [outside and lighting a 🚬 but none for you Janis cos ultimate shade] Janis: ['are you gonna fucking talk to me or even look at me?'] Jimmy: [a stare down moment like] Janis: [holding it 'I didn't say I didn't want it, just that it's dangerous, I still do'] Jimmy: [just giving her such a look because he knows how dangerous it is to want anything too obvs] Janis: ['and it ain't just about wanting either, I told you, sometimes I can't, even if I'm physically here...and that's not 'cos I don't wanna be, it's just-' shrugs 'like I said, how it's been, from before you were here'] Jimmy: [passes her the 🚬] Janis: [just the longest drag of all time 'a me problem, I told you'] Jimmy: ['I've got my own, I ain't standing here crossing my fingers that you're some perfect lass or reckoning that I'm world class enough to cross all yours out'] Janis: ['I know, like I know you're meant to carry on and do things in spite of but that don't mean it's as easy as it sounds does it'] Jimmy: [shakes his head cos again #relatable and he does know. Takes the 🚬 back and takes his own big drag 'I just know that I want you, as much of a challenge, or not, as it is to keep on dating you'] Janis: ['You know I want you too, I said it first, not changed'] Jimmy: ['do it properly with me then'] Janis: ['are we dating then?'] Jimmy: ['Do you want to?'] Janis: [a look like why do I need to answer always, boy 'I don't know, what's it like?'] Jimmy: ['Dating me? Hang on, I'll give my ex a bell and you can hear it from her'] Janis: [🙄 'Well, she'll obviously put me off, wants you back'] Jimmy: [🙄 back] Janis: ['would it be like this?'] Jimmy: ['Are you gonna get more or less jealous when you're my real girlfriend?'] Janis: ['What do you mean?' Jimmy: ['Are you gonna send her death threats or a sorry for your loss card, like?'] Janis: ['Cass has got your covered, ain't she'] Jimmy: ['So?'] Janis: [squirming 'cos you are jealous but don't wanna say but don't wanna lie and 'come on'] Jimmy: [up in her grill as he likes to be 'you'] Janis: [ just staring at his lips so hardcore and biting her own 'it is her loss but I'm not gonna bother with the card, alright?'] Jimmy: [touching her bottom lip like he did earlier but pressing harder with his thumb than he did then 'just bother with me, no-one else'] Janis: [the noise she makes would be unholy 'cos the sheer tension 'that's already how it is, you're the only one I give a fuck about' ang gotta put that thumb in your mouth for the parallel] Jimmy: [a likewise unholy sound from him because of what she said and more noise because of what she did, trying to say fuck or something but its just a legit moan how he always does] Janis: ['you're so fucking hot' actually completing that sentence for once well done but the butterfly is gonna be ruined by how hard she goes in for this kiss 'I've never wanted anyone this bad, okay'] Jimmy: [shamelessly going hard up against the wall of this pub which anyone could walk out of at any time, love that for them] Janis: [safe to say after your performances lads, you do not give a fuck to begin with, never mind now Jimmy: [all he cares about is showing her that he's never wanted anyone this bad either, not soz passersby] Janis: [you've seen worse, you'll live everyone, they might die however] Jimmy: [they are gonna die cos you know he's gotta say her name and we know what that does] Janis: [rip, how do they go so hard but stay so soft too] Jimmy: [#goals 5ever] Jimmy: [like picture the scene, they are already going off dry humping against this wall cos god forbid you stop for a few mins so you can walk back but like of course he's gonna make it more extra by just slipping a hand so subtly under that waistband- stay inside for a bit please pub peeps- cos again god forbid you have some chill boy when you can stop kissing her at that exact moment to hear everything as you do. RIP to you both and ILY]] Janis: [arching her back and pushing into his hand 'cos 'fuck, Jimmy!' when you gotta turn your head to the side and bite your lip even harder 'cos trying to be quiet as standard] Jimmy: [How beautiful she'd look though bye, gotta bite her lip too and anywhere else you want so you don't get too extra with your words as well as your actions] Janis: [just putting your arms around his neck so you don't die] Jimmy: [we know he's dying too girl it's okay] Janis: [making eye contact to be like 'I missed you' don't know where either of you has been but okay] Jimmy: [we can assume he's had at least some time as a barista so it's fine lol 'I-me too'] Janis: [she probs means when she mentally goes away so I get it babe it's okay but probably kiss him so you shh] Jimmy: [all the kisses always tbh] Janis: [doing a lil lol at his face when you pull away 'cos they'd both be covered in paint now] Jimmy: [shameless excuse to touch her face and hair with his free hand though which is his soft boy fave so] Janis: [just having a time how are you ever gonna find the will to move lmao] Jimmy: [they so won't we might have to say some peeps come out of the pub, but imma let you finish or bit rude] Janis: [that would put an end to anything, drunk dickheads] Jimmy: [at least you don't have far to go home fr] Janis: [good luck getting straight in your room tho] Jimmy: [do finally have that shower tho, state of yous] Janis: [let's hope ian is dealing with the kids] Jimmy: [he'd have to unless that woman left then it's a free for all/Cass is sorting it] Janis: [want both him and them distracted ideally so make it happen world] Jimmy: [agreed]

[pokefanbri]

You and me, we had it..we so did u know...at some point or in some ways anyway. What happened to them, ill never know. But I miss those guys man 😂...they were great together even if the mentality wasn't the best on either end & he lost interest less than 2 months in living together 😒. But they was chill af 😊, despite any darkness. Girl learned many things..fucking bought a car for the 1st time. I had home on the other side of the damn continent lmao..i never dreamed id live outside Tucson again. Drove a lawn mower for the 1st time...holding onto him at the back of one 😔 the sunglasses was a tragedy lol. We played video games together, watched the birds at the feeder & drank coffee in the morning sitting there looking at the wildlife & chatting 😌 I'll really miss someone being there to help me with back pimples, massages & backscratches that I can't reach lol. If all that & more we did together ain't cute couple shit idk what is lol, thats the shit id live for any fucking time.

I wouldn't give any of it back, cause those among many great times shared...are the memories I hold dear to my heart & always cherish. Many 1st times thx to this wonderful guy i had the pleasure of knowing in my life. He may not appreciate what we had, but i sure as hell fucking do. It all meant something to me, & yes he meant so much to me I won't deny it.

But ive accepted this shitty year for what it is, & it did make me wanna shake my hands in the sky & tell God himself its not fair & I didn't deserve this 😔 But I'd see this dude again one day & maybe thats a chance for the genuine goodbye i missed before. He's still an asshole & knows it..i looked up to him but know better than to be so naive & hurt again by anyone 😏

But...im staying positive, ive forgiven alot & letting go..dwelling on it too much til it fades but it hurts & i cant have that. Taking care of myself is important, im moving past the bad, remembering the good, & moving forward the best i can. Missing him resonates in the back if my mind but im doing okay. Im definitely feeling better, dont feel as bad anymore..a huge relief almost. I was hurt & betrayed pretty bad in this relationship than any other 😔 the typical lies about me to cover his own ass afterward are still like stabs to the heart, so ofcourse its hard..probably talks bad about me for no reason still when I damn well know better, but I have no control over that. Never been through a heartbreak this bad before I tell ya 😅 was so damn difficult & still hurts but not as much.

But thats that, 🤷‍♀️ Onto something new, I want someone that mutually handles my heart with just as much care & effort, I wanna have a blast with someone again, a new adventure. I just hope I find him at all..if at all 😣

I need to stop whining about it for 1, but I just want what everyone does. Sucks that I had it twice for that matter & lost em 🤦‍♀️ damn im disappointed in myself too. My choices guide my path & im going somewhere I guess, but ive accepted at the end of the day u experience & grow from the people u meet along the way right🤷‍♀️ nomatter how hard it hurts 😔 dealing with the heartache can be physically painful when it hits & this one has topped way tougher to go through than 2 experienced b4 it, & I don't ever wanna experience it again. So im done with it, put my sorrow aside for later if I must but I cant be depressed when I can focus my energy on something else. Me my self & I 😌 is holding up okay all things considered

https://open.spotify.com/track/71ehTADpxs85ULrZgSEKCy?si=tKTOa1zpRkWc6NZPSEJPkw

https://youtu.be/i-qT5n_5Mys 👋

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: *The worst thing was not even being able to cry. Okay, so that wasn't true but it made the pain, that she thought couldn't possibly be any more, deepen, burrowing deep down inside her, not allowed to be felt, growing there, hollowing her out from the inside. She was hollow now. A literal husk. Like one of those creatures that get eggs laid in its brain or whatever, happily and mindlessly growing the imposter babies until they're big enough to eat their way out. But she hadn't even been tricked, it wasn't mindless, injected on the sly, unaware. She had OFFERED to do this. Happily growing her, the baby, Venus, her baby but not, day after day. Acting as if she could do this. How could they have believed her? How could they be all smiles and happy tears and joy, snatching her from her arms, when she was lying there, torn apart by this. How? She wasn't that good an actress. Buster knew. Had known from the start. Couldn't have listened, could she? No, had to prove him wrong, prove she was a good person, sister. Hope it was worth it. Because what have you got to show for it now? His car came to a stop in the driveway. She didn't get out. Couldn't.  Jay wasn't there right now, obviously, but she'd be back soon. How could she look after her, give her her baths, tell her stories, play with her, cook her meals, when her whole body and mind was screaming to look after her own baby. She needed her. Venus needed her. Rio shook her head, tears silently trickling down her face, finally, a numb sort of acceptance.* Buster: *He'd done everything he was meant to do, months of rubbing her back to try and erase tension and fucking sadness she liked to try and pretend wasn't there, exchanged for hours of the same action, but with pain so physical it couldn't be denied. On the one hand he was grateful that it had to hurt (selfish and cunty as that sounded) 'cause it pushed every other sensation aside, giving her an out, as their was no way she could think of anything but getting the baby out. On the other (yet more selfish and cunty) he was angry that from where he stood there was no forgetting that this wasn't the end, more like the worst beginning, and the next part, the after, he had no idea how to prepare for. Yeah, he could hold her hand in the delivery room and feed her ice when she needed it, no worries, but how the hell was he meant to keep hold when they left (empty handed as he'd warned) and feed her lies that neither of them believed in or found comforting? Fucking hell. It was hell, as much as they'd ever been in it. Buster hadn't felt out of depth when they placed either of his daughters in his arms, but now, holding Rio, he had to admit he was lost. Still, he did it, forcing a closeness he knew she wouldn't ask for. Didn't think she deserved. Wrong again, that much he could let be wordlessly spoken for all the 'I told you so' bullshit he never would.* Rio: *She didn't have it in her to push him away. She had no fight left. She didn't lean into it either though, remaining rigid, not allowing herself to get comfort from it. Didn't deserve it. The 'told you so' wouldn't come, of course, talk what he liked, he wasn't that cunt. But she was. And it true. He had. Punishment enough in what had happened, he surely reckoned. If only. She had plenty of ideas of how she could hurt herself forever over this. Keep that to herself too, knowing he'd try and put a stop to that. What a fucking mess she had dragged him into. Understatement. And just another reason to hate herself.* Buster: *Left without a single option for how to bring her back into the world he simply resolved to bring the world to her. Theirs. 'Cause not everything had changed, it couldn't have. There was already enough to deal with, too much really, and that was just from his perspective. Selfish again, but all he had to work with, his pressure to thrive from, since Rio was making it abundantly clear he was locked out of hers. The silence was pressing down making the car feel cramped, small and cheap. Unrecognisable. Still, that was easily remedied, that degree of escape at least, he unbuckled her seatbelt and carried her out, into the house like she weighed nothing. Compared to this, she honestly didn't, the blanket he covered her with once he placed her on the sofa seemed heavier, equipped for a chill that shouldn't exist, and he knew didn't, anywhere else.* Rio: *Waking up, not knowing how she got here, or when she passed out. Not out of the ordinary back in the day but so very, very wrong now. How could she sleep when she didn't know where her baby was? How she was? Why wasn't her body keeping her awake, sheer instinct, if nothing else? The need to protect overriding any exhaustion and agony, mental and physical. Clearly, she wasn't the Mother everyone painted her to be, that she'd allowed herself to think she was, could be.* What time is it? *It had to be late, it was dark. She must've slept all day. What a useless fucking bitch.* Buster: *He'd kept himself busy, forcing himself into being not just present, but extra attentive while Rio couldn't be. Buster told himself that it wasn't selfish (for once) reasoning that drove him, leaving water beside her rather than tea that'd sit untouched until it was cold, he knew, or coffee that'd leave a sour taste in her mouth. But he wasn't no saint, even now, and if he could be honest if only in his own head, it hurt to look at her. Like this. So he arranged for Jay to be collected and kept overnight before she could take a step over the threshold, barely a fucking reprieve, obviously, but he was trying. Had to. Got other shit done he'd been putting off, leaning hard into the legal jargon, until his eyes blurred but nothing else would. Of fucking course. He'd been making dinner, a recipe firmly in mind, he'd swear, when he heard her and dropped the salad tongs without registering that sound. * Late. Rio: *She nodded, shrugging a 'sorry' his way too for good measure, mouth too dry to attempt any more words than she'd managed there. Voice cracked, broken from the effort that was frankly subpar at best, piss poor if they were being honest and there was no room for any more lies. Especially from her. How was he going to believe her on anything ever again? How was she? That was broken too. She was. The idea that they might be was one too far. She started sobbing, again. Broken record. She was already sick of it so god knows he was. Rio tried to do it silently, as if he wasn't also sneaky surreptitious glances at her that hurt her heart, making her feel as fragile as the look betrayed he reckoned she was now. Not wrong, again. Fuck. Another realisation hitting, how had she been allowed to sleep so long, and why was it so quiet? Panic like a lightning bolt jolting her up and over to him, freakishly fast, desperate.* Where's Jay? Buster: *He nodded himself, a gesture towards the full glass, offering her a drink without having to actually say it. How was he meant to tell her to do anything again, after this? He'd said to do it, giving her the go ahead of something he knew was wrong. And for what, so her brother and his boyfriend could be the only ones all smiles? Fuck that. His jaw clenched, which he felt, pre-ache, while he gripped the counter top with a force he didn't yet. Braced. For whatever. Or so he'd reckoned, until the tears came and proved him not remotely ready for it. The instinct to say 'Don't' was swallowed, thank Christ, but managed to stick painfully in his throat anyway. A hard lump. Burning eyes which he blamed tiredness for rubbing as he reproached himself with the sort of harsh words he'd never aim anywhere else. The silence was even more deafening 'cause it wasn't total now, punctuated by sounds from her. Heartbreaking for how quiet they were, despite the pain that they came from being anything but. Buster tried to shake himself out of this shit, springing out of the rut so it'd change shape. Let it be big enough for two, he owed her that, for everything he'd said and hadn't. Where he'd stopped but not properly drawn a line. Been a pussy. Worse than.* At a sleepover. Better social life than any of us these days, like. *It shook him how normal his voice sounded compared to the hours of internal monologue that'd gone on and on as Rio slept. He was about to shrug, feed that lie that this was a typical scene on another day, but his jaw clinked. A reminder that it wasn't. The wake up call he needed.* If you need me to get her back for you, I can do it. *Blue eyes locked on green. He didn't mean Jay and they both knew it.* Rio: *Rio tried to convince herself that the sleepover was a pre-planned thing, like Jay had been buzzing about it for ages but that was a load of shit and it stung like the slap in the face it was. Another failing. She truly didn't need anymore but she just kept letting them pile up and up; going for a world record, like? She was about to protest, say that he should've let her come Home, and she could've gone...somewhere else. God fucking knew she couldn't face her Mother and Father right now, how she would ever alluding her heartbroken brain too but she'd have found somewhere to curl up and die. She was about to argue her case when he said it. Making confident eye contact, his voice not wavering one octave. Like it was easy. Like it was right. Like she should. She shook her head, taking several steps back, wary.* Don't. Don't fucking say that. Buster: *This shit had him up against the ropes, trapped like nothing else, but he was still himself. Had to be. There was no retreating and staying fucking catatonic for him. Ever. He didn't blame her for trying it, like, wouldn't ever, but Buster McKenna would die fighting his corner. And this was it. What mattered. Rio could tell him that there was no going back, but he knew the only way that was true was if he backed down. Again.* Don't say it ain't what you want. Or that it can't be done. If me and Chlo could co-parent for fucking years, they could deal with you having your kid. It's not like they'd never see her, is it? Demi's got rights, same as you. *He paused to take a deep breath. *Junior'll still be a parent, like you are to Jay. And Kira. Rio: Of course it is, I know how fucking obvious it is to see, but it doesn't matter what I want! *She stared at him, disbelief and pure fury that he was here acting like this were a possibility when it wasn't. It was cruel, unbelievably so, couldn't he see that? Head back to shaking like she was a fucking nodding dog, such a yes woman all of a sudden changing her tune.* They didn't sign up for that. I made a promise and I have to keep my end of it. Legally, yeah, there was no contract, just the exchange of money on a promise, so I see where your brain has gone already but do you think I wanna drag my own Brother through the Courts because I can't keep to my fucking word? *She raises her hands to say 'Well? What's your response now?' because how could she?* I don't know how I'm going to live with this hurt but I'm going to have to. I can't be that bitch, can I? How selfish would I have to be to wish this on Junior? Jesus! Buster: *He couldn't remember the last time he was this angry, or allowed to be. But neither of his daughters were in earshot tonight and of all there was to lose, self control was the least of it.* Bullshit. *He spat the word out like it actually tasted bad. *That's all that matters, Rio. Fuck's sake! *It was impossible to stare back at her with everything he could see in hers when their eyes met, but harder still to look away. Fuck. *Erin didn't sign up for me cheating on and knocking her up, but things happen, yeah? Nothing has to be set in stone. Especially when you can't promise me that your plan is any fucking better. *God he needed a drink. Or to hit something. Maybe both.* It wouldn't get that far, you know that. Junior loves you and if he loves that baby at all he isn't gonna behave like Chlo. He ain't that bitch. *Frustration kept building and he finally pinched the bridge of his nose (not bleeding but it might as well be if they traded any more 'punches') hard enough to focus himself for at least a second. A breath. *Oh, fuck off! He was happy to let you play Auntie for the rest of the kid's life, why is it selfish for him to stay at uncle. Rio: *She rolls her eyes. No doubt would make him madder than he already was but they were past the point of doing and saying, (or holding back from), things to keep the other happy in this moment.* To you maybe but not to anyone else. Sorry I'm not all that fun right now, give me a day at least, fucking hell, like. *Certain that would pack the desired K.O. punch, relying on it honestly because she needed him to stop talking because the more he talked the more she wanted to say 'yeah, you're right, let's do this'. If she let herself agree, to say what she wanted to say, to do what she wanted to do, there would be no going back. She had to hold it together, stop it from happening and it was so unfair because she had never been weaker than now and she had to be the strong one, for everyone's sake. As fucking per. No rest for the wicked, yeah? Rio was trying hard not to listen, it was about all she could do, aside from walking away and they both knew she had nowhere the fuck to be or go. Of course, weren't that easy, head snapping back to him from down at her nails, (like she was so bored and nonplussed), when he mentioned Junior.* Because- that. was. the. agreement. Get it through your thick head, please! It's not as if they've actually snatched her, even if that's how it feels. It isn't selfish because I sat there for nine months smiling and acting like it was what I wanted, you can't blame them, no matter how hard you try. This is my fault, Buster. And I have to deal with that. Buster: Fuck you. *There was a tone of voice he finally recognised, all bullshit he'd just tried to call out stripped away, not just fitting the situation but refusing to diffuse it. He poured himself a measure of whiskey and downed it, slamming the empty glass down without offering her anything, or saying anything else at all. Just as well 'cause he was wasting his breath. He heard that loud and clear. Time for her to get a dose of the same truth, he loved her, really fucking much, but he couldn't do this, what she was insisting she was going to. The 9 months that had just gone by was one kind of tightrope, he'd run the length of it for her gladly, would again without question. But what she was asking (no, just telling him, like) here and now? There was no outrunning that, he was fucking struggling to keep pace already and there wasn't going to be a finishing line. Not until it finished them.* Deal with it then. *It was almost a whisper, the quiet murmur in stark contrast to his before. How quiet it seemed once he got himself to move further than the drinks cabinet, despite the fact he was basically blowing his life up, as he knew and wanted it. Then what, turning his back on the pieces? Yeah. He gave her a glare that said both 'don't wait up for me' and 'don't come after me', insisting with every step he took to the front door without looking back.* I ain't nothing but a selfish cunt, yeah? Looks like there's nothing left in common, sorry babe. Rio: *It wasn't like him to walk away. To not give her the chance to say her piece, and to say his back, and on and on until they resolved it, or got sick of arguing, basically. That's why it was so scary. Fucking terrifying. Meant to sit here and watch him walk out on her, yeah? Fuck that. Surprising herself with how able she was to move, able to shout and scream when just moments ago she could only just croak out a sentence. She wasn't fully aware of, or in control, of what she was saying, hence she was able to be so contradictory and not feel any shame in it.* Really? Really? You're fucking leaving me, now?! Fine, go then, fuck off, go on! *And in the same breath-* Buster, please, please don't! Come back, I'm sorry, I love you! Don't go! *Words and the sentiment behind them a rushed, panicked and angry mess, leaving her at the front door, shut in her face, him on the other side, God knows where. And God only knew if he was coming back for her, ever. Pressing her forehead on the cool glass, the slid down, 'til she was on her knees, a fucking sobbing state on the floor. Too late to pray now, girl.*