#but yeah! thats ur random hc of the day i guess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

Text

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

#this is only like half of it #but at least you can get like a few answers #yanno fuck it #bataranswers #ask #asks #anon

215 notes · View notes

serowotonin · 3 years

Text

˗ˏˋ 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀 ˎˊ˗

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 ` sakusa kiyoomi ` 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ` 1.2k ` 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 ` pure crack ` 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁 ` hcs `

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` umm idk what this is.. lowkey based off real events? midnight ramblings? yeah that kind of thing i guess... also big thank you to @kaguol for giving this a read (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) `

it was sports day at your school and most of the events were over and done with but the teachers didnt allow anyone to leave yet cuz,,,, reasons✨

which is why some of the students kinda just flocked to the gym to chill and maybe play around

that was until somebody suggested they host an unofficial, volleyball game

the net was still up nobody bothered to put it down so yeaahhh

rules of the game were simple: there were none, except keep the ball in the air and get it over the net…however you can

at first only a few ppl played… the “energetic” and “athletic” ones and it still seemed like a typical volleyball game

then more ppl started joining

and it slowly started getting more chaotic

it got to the point where the entire gym was the court

there were ppl running around chasing the ball, others just hitting it as hard as they can in practically any direction, then there were those who just stood there cuz everyone else was standing there so why not ??

now sakusa didn’t want to be there

he was tired because his class had signed him up for ALL the running events

why? well cuz he was tHe OnLy AtHLeCtiC PeRsOn in his class

utter bullshit btw

he plays volleyball hes not a runner

but still ended up winning tons of races just cuz… it was him💅✨ no explanation needed

n e wayss he was tired and wanted nothing more than to go home and take a nice long shower

but ofc the students of itachiyama wouldn’t let him

some of them dragged him into the game early on

again, because he was aThLeTiC ~

but this time they actually got the sport right lolol

honestly he was lowkey annoyed at how un-volleyball the game started to become but continued playing it anyway

it was hilarious how the others tried to receive even his weakest, half-assed spikes

sakusa always made sure to aim his spikes directly at ppl’s arms tho

not out of consideration for their pride or anything no no

it was cuz whenever the ball touched the ground the ENTIRE gym groaned rlly loud and there’d be ppl going “NOOOOOOOO”

and that annoyed tf out of him so he was nice with his spikes

then there was you

you were outside with one of your friends when the whole volleyball thing started and only came to the gym cuz the rest of your friends were in there

so you walked in, scanned the crowd, immediately noticed your crush *cough*sakusa*cough* and then found your friends standing in a group on the other side of the gym

now here’s the thing

sakusa has a crush™️ on you too. took him a while to realize and accept it but he did and now he officially has a crush on you

he just hadn’t really gotten around to the idea of asking you out or anything

mainly cuz he just very recently realized his feelings aka last night he was thinking about all the events he had to do for sports day and he groaned cuz ppl made him do it but then he realized ppl wasn’t actually ppl it was just you

you were the one who smiled at him and said “why not sakkun,, it’d be fun” and like that he agreed. then he realized further he actually thought about you a lot. like earlier he was thinking about how’d you look tmr since u weren’t gonna be in normal school uniform and you’d have your hair all done. and then he realized he was looking forward to seeing you which led him to realize you were one of the few ppl he actually enjoyed being around. THEN he fucking finally realized “oh… i have a crush…. on y/n……. oh”

somewhat conflicted abt it for the entirety of the day,,, bois experiencing feels for u ofc its gonna take some time >.<

he didn’t get to talk to you all day though,,,,,, he was busy with his own events and you were elsewhere

either way,, when he saw you walking past in the gym he kind of lost focus

lost focus in that the ball was coming to him and he jumped to spike it but only had his eyes on you causing his aim to mess up and well,,

he hit his target

*your head*

and because he wasn’t focused, it wasn’t a “soft” spike like all the other ones hes been doing

it was a full-blown sakusa kiyoomi spike

that hit your face

(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

sakusa just went: ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

you saw stars,,,,,,,, and fell on ur bum

like a split second later, you heard a calm voice asking if you were ok. you muttered out a yeah and felt arms helping you up

one of them was your friend you were pretty sure, but the other one’s hands were too big to be any of your friends’

“let’s get you to the nurse,” the calm voice said again.

“mkay,, thats probably.. a smart choice.. yeah….” and, vision still blurry, you were guided to the nurse by your friend and someone whose identity you weren’t sure of yet

sakusa was still standing there

all that, the spike hitting you, you falling, your being escorted to the clinic,,,,, that happened in like 2 seconds

he didn’t even have time to say anything yet

to make matters worse, some random ass guy was the one who came and swept you out of the gym

sure your friend was with you but to sakusa,,, that guy sus af

after they left, the game continued and sakusa rlly didn’t feel like playing anymore

he wanted to make sure you were okay and wanted to apologize

however,,,, the teachers came in shortly after and told them it was time for the closing ceremony

throughout the entire thing, his eyes flit through the crowds looking for you

he couldn’t find you tho>:((

big sad

after the ceremony was over,, he went to the clinic but you weren’t there

then he just kinda,,, /slump/

figured he’d just pull you aside tmr and apologize then

except,,, tmr came and he still hadnt found a good time to pull you aside for a proper apology??

you were just so… busy.?

finally,, at around lunch after you finished eating, you kinda just sat with your friends and were talking and stuff when sakusa decided now would be an appropriate time to apologize

he walked up to you and asked if you two could talk in private for a bit

your friends shot glances at each other. he saw,, but he didnt let it bother him

anyways,, he led you out into the hall and in the softest tone he could manage he says, “about yesterday… i’m really sorry, spiked the ball a bit too hard.. how are you feeling?”

you tell him ur fine,, just that it aches a bit but nothing serious

he nods and mutters another ‘sorry..’

then this happened:

“no it’s ok you don’t have to be so sorry. accidents happen.”

“it wasn’t an accident tho..? so im sorry, it wont happen again.”

“yeah ok,, wAIT WHAT?? wdym not an accident?!?? u spiked the ball into my face on purpose?!?!!?!?”

“WHAT NO- ofc not. i just,,, i kind of lost focus… on other things… at the time… and yeah”

“????”

*sighs* “i was focused on you when you walked past and didn’t consciously control my aim or whatever and ended up spiking it into your face”

“?!?!?!??…. why were you focused on me??”

“cuz i like you dummy” /it slipped he didnt mean to say this/

“oh.... wAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

and that is the story of how sakusa confessed

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` honestly think it would be better as a fic but uh,,, my lazy ass cant be bothered to write fics rn so uh,, hope this was good for now? lol might mess around and write one later tho.. maybe `

#sakusa x reader #hq #www.pink-ink.com/writing #/hcs

87 notes · View notes

anticlimactiic · 7 years

Text

yellow ! i’m leona your average carefree black girl i am twenty one, in pst and i play dionne the ariana grande as well as orion the harry styles. there’s more about them under the cut and yeaH ! click to find out more and smash that like button if you wanna plot and i’ll come slide in your dms.

BEWARE mentions sexual & physical abuse below the cut !

orion sebastian grey aka harry styles

orion was born to a CEO of a fortune 500 company and a kindergarten teacher - he’s very close to his mother but his father and him dont exactly see eye to eye, he wanted orion to take over the energy company and orion wanted to start his own tech company

his father actually told him he’d never amount to anything, but by the time he was fifteen he’d sold his first app for over 3 million dollars and by the time he was sixteen he’d moved out on his own

he came to valentina because two things, one he’s hopelessly in love with his best friend who doesnt feel the same way and two, he’s so fucking awkward he wouldn’t even know how to begin to ask someone out

legit, throughout most his childhood he talked to like his two friends and his parents and their staff and that was it, he was even home schooled because he’s very advanced and teachers got tired of him always correcting them.

he’s very gentile you know?? like super awkward and soft and shy and he doesnt know when anyone’s flirting with him bc he doesnt really get like social cues - like in all honesty do NOT try and come to him if you’re sad or upset bc he really wont know what to do or say to help you

he’s very loving though!! if you’re one of the people he actually talks to, he’ll take care of you in any way that he can even if he doesnt talk to you, he’s the type to go out of his way to make you feel better

the only relationship he’s ever been in was a weird one bc he was a submissive to this older woman who was friends with his momma and that ended about three years ago but he still feels like weird?? about it ???

OH he’s heteroflexible, like he’s hella curious about what it’ll be like to be with a guy but he’s lk unsure of how that’d work or....do.....

dionne nicole boodram aka ariana grande

dionne was born to a drug addicted mother, she has no idea who her dad is but he died when she was only 2 so it doesnt really matter anyways (if ur wondering he was some drug dealer who her momma hooked up with for drugs). she was raised by her aunt and uncle who she calls momma and daddy, her cousins are basically her siblings but any time they’d get mad at her they’d be all “fuck you you’re not my sister anyways” and then her parents would be all STOP PLAYIN THATS YOUR SISTER

this is really not important more just of an fyi her “aunt and uncle” who were really just family friends of her mom are black & so are all her siblings

okay so she is a sexologist, she grew up a really like....horny kid (like can you imagine masturbating at like 5?? yeah that was bae) but sex was always like a secret thing in her household. her mom never actually had like “the talk” with her, she just sorta had to guess and figure it out on her own

random hc, she saw her first porn when she was five, her and her sibling found a movie marked peter pan - it was defs not a cartoon she got in a lot of trouble for watching it

she grew up very pretty middle class, her mom and dad have been together for over twenty five years and are still in love to this day

she was molested by her cousin & her brother (the situation is kinda weird bc their cousin was older and he would like force her bro to touch her and like watch twas just a;lskdfjals;d weird i don wanna get super graphic bc triggers and all that but yeah)

she’s always been real real boy crazy, like since she was a little girl she wanted a boyfriend (she locked down her first bf when she was only 6) and shes like that desperation for love and affection is reason why the majority of her relationships ended - she’ll go above and beyond 24/7, over extending herself and giving everything she has until she’s got nothing left and then give some more

when she was about 17 she was raped by a person she cared a lot about, she had a giant crush on this guy and she went to his house and because she was there she feels a lot of guilt like she brought it on herself and tbh she hasn't actually told anyone about what happened that day

she started working for valentina when she was nineteen and working on getting her sexual education certificate, she’s now working on getting a sexology certification but she begged valentina to let her join the program because she’s on the verge of being kicked out of school if she doesnt pay her tuition

dionne is such a firm believer in soulmates but she’s one of those people who believes in different kinds of soulmates and that love comes into your life for a reason even though all of her relationships have been disastrous shes still such a hopeless romantic

#hey girl hows it goin #ghhq: intro

5 notes · View notes