#but why stay grown up forever
Theres a scene where the party goes to sleep but Jude wakes up and you can wander around and see everyone sleeping and the way Alvin sleeps has me wanting to bawl my dudes. He just looks so cute it kills me!!!! 😭😭😭😭
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I'm only 26 and you made me feel old. Maybe it was just me and my merry band of highschool friends but the rules are simple. You and a group of friends "fall" through a portal to the realm of your choosing. (I guess it's considered roleplay since we mostly did it through private online forums and group chats, but regardless it was still fun)
You basically write the story as yourself and your friends (almost like a script) and you pick the characters (NPCs at this point) that you're best suited to 'play' to advance the plot. For example, I would play as myself but I would also write (play) the roles of Elrond and Lindir.
And yes, those were the days, and it's probably the only thing I miss about highschool. I think there were three or four of us-- that dwindled to two when I went to college-- and then we all kind of drifted apart. I still have the chats saved and access to the forums. It's a bit freaking nostalgic.
I’m about to freakin’ combust because THAT sounds like a friendship I wanna get in on and something all our mutuals would enjoy!!
Guys, why did we let this go out of style?? First cloaks, and now immersive campfire story-weaving? (took everything in me to not say “writing jerk-circles. validate me anyways because that is prime humour) We could’ve been travelling to Middle-earth together this whole time!
It’s literally like that one exact post I made on here!
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@thecindercrow HOO BOY ok i really really appreciate u clearing that up for me bc without even knowing that much i couldn’t stop imagining the worst. this at least gives me some peace of mind. enough to settle down and just be patient a little longer
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ugh i have been thinking abt my capacity to love all day today for some reason idk. i have issues <3
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Warnings: mentions of deceased parents, major daddy issues
I loved the weather this time of year. Honolulu was hot, sticky, humid. Most people (mainly tourists) hated it, too hot and sweaty for them to handle. But, being raised here, I'd grown to love it.
I was racing my best friend, Kaitlyn, to the small island off the coast of my Grandparents' private beach the day my life changed. She almost always won, on the rare occasion that I would win, she was probably letting me.
Today the water was gentle, and we both made the decision that we would just slowly make our way to the island.
I floated on my back, humming as the warm water washed over me. I gazed up at the beautiful clear blue sky, looking like an etch-a-sketch from the jets flying overhead, not a cloud in sight. I could hear the young children laughing from the distant beach, the volleyball players yelling and cheering as they scored. It was... perfect.
"I don't know why you love this so much," Kaitlyn sighed, "It's so hot and-"
"Sticky and too much for you, and you can't wait to go to New York. Yes yes, Kaitlyn, I know."
She laughed, "You know me too well."
"It's almost like we were raised together or something." That made her laugh even harder.
"Seriously though, Howie," she said, "You can't actually think we're meant to be here forever, right?'
I sighed, "I don't know, I could see myself staying here for most of my life. I certainly wouldn't move to the mainland, if that's what you're asking." I heard the chirping birds, and the music playing all hours of the day, smelling the salty sea air, why would I ever want to leave?
"I don't know," she sighed, "I just feel like we're meant for more than this place. At least... I am."
I smiled at her, "You can go have fun in the freezing cold, I'm just fine staying here. Where the weather's always warm and the boys are fit."
She rolled her eyes and splashed me, "God, Howie, you're boy crazy."
"Why wouldn't I be?" I pointed to a surfer with a toned upper body and long blonde hair, running towards the water through the sand, like a scene straight out of Baywatch. "I'm surrounded by that all day."
Kaitlyn scrunched up her nose, "Eh, I like the artsy ones."
I laughed, "You're lucky you're going to school in New York then, there's a bunch of those boys there I bet."
We both got quiet after that. Sure, she loved me like a sister, but her love for me didn't trump her need to get out of here. I didn't blame her, there were times I felt like a fish out of water in Honolulu, like I never really belonged. I didn't look like the fit, beach-body girls that lived here... and neither did Kaitlyn. But I couldn't give up the place I was raised, not as bravely as her, anyway.
Kaitlyn was curvy and blonde and perfect, but not muscular enough to be considered athletic. Nevertheless she was perfect to me. Her blonde hair fell in perfect waves down to her waist and her skin glowed perfectly in the summer sun. She looked like she should've been on the cover of Sports-freaking-Illustrated, or on a Playboy calendar. Not walking around in the halls of a middle-class Kalani High School. But, in a year or so, she wouldn't be there... and I'd be alone in Honolulu. I don't know if it'll seem like the paradise it is without her.
Kaitlyn and I arrived home from a long night at the movies, a good night spent third-wheeling for me. One thing Kaitlyn was struggling to leave behind other than me, her boyfriend Oscar. As far as I knew, they were leaving together, but he didn't seem to be taking her plan very seriously from what I'd gathered.
When we pulled into my driveway, along with my grandparent's beat-up old Jeep sat an expensive Audi parked next to it. We could barely afford our two bedroom house, so I knew that Gran and Gramps weren't surprising me with a new car, let alone a freaking Audi. We
had a guest, and an unexpected one by the looks of it.
"Maybe you guys should leave," I told Kaitlyn softly, "I don't know who that is, but I don't know if my grandparents are gonna want guests-"
"Don't worry Howie," Katie said, "Just call me if you need me all right?"
"Yeah of course," I said with a smile.
Her expression turned serious when she gripped my hand, "Anytime, okay? Even if I'm sleeping."
I smiled and gave her a hug goodbye, "I love you, sis."
"Love you too."
I grabbed my bag and my beach towel and ran into my house. I could tell something was wrong as soon as I walked in. There was something different in the air, like something was hanging in it... bad news waiting around the corner.
"Gran?" I asked with caution as I closed the door behind me.
"Hi honey!" She called, her voice was tainted with worry. She wasn't like this often.
I started to run upstairs, "I'm gonna shower and then I'll be down for dinner, alright?"
"You might wanna take a rain check on that shower, squirt," an unfamiliar voice said from behind me. I turned around quickly. I'd recognize the gaze that met my own anywhere. From the commercials to the posters that lined Oscar's room. The man that stood at the bottom of the stairs was Tony Stark, CEO of Stark Industries, Iron Man himself. His hair sat perfectly atop his head, and he wore an expensive looking charcoal-gray suit. He didn't look any different than his photos.
"Mr. Stark," I stepped back down to stand in front of him. I shook his hand confidently, "It's an honor." Gran stood behind him, a sad smile on her face while she gently wiped a cup with a white cloth, "Is everything alright?" I asked while alternating my gaze between both of them.
"You might want to sit down for this," Tony interrupted.
"N-no," I shook my head aggressively, "I'm not your kid, I can't be. My parents are dead. They died when I was a baby."
"Well," he sighed and folded his hands in his lap, "I'm sorry that's what you were told but it's simply not true."
I rolled my eyes and scoffed, "Then why am I just now finding out about this, huh? You finally decided it was time to be a good dad?Wanna take your kid out for ice cream? Well, I hate to break it to you, but you're about 14 years too late."
"We can put a pin in the ice-cream idea," he got up and handed me a manila folder, "But, as your biological father, I've taken it upon myself to take legal guardianship over you until your 18th birthday. At that point, you can decide if you want to go off to college, or come back here, or stay with me."
I turned to Gran, "You let this happen?!"
She held her hands up, "Sweetie, try and understand, he's your father, give him a chance."
"No, Gran," I said, "He had his chance, 17 years ago."
"Yes but then your mother died," he snapped. Gran and I fell silent at the sudden aggression from Mr. Stark. He stood in front of me and stared directly into my eyes. "We named you after my father, Howard Stark," he said with a sigh, "My father, who gave me a company and turned me into one of the wealthiest men on the planet. So, kid, whether you like it or not, you're a Stark, you're going to inherit my company, and you're coming to New York with me."
I couldn't speak, couldn't breathe as I stared at myself in the mirror. I had his face, I don't know why I didn't notice sooner.
I wanted to punch the mirror, bloody my knuckles from the broken glass. I wanted to look as broken and out of control as I felt, maybe then it would be easier. Maybe then things wouldn't change.
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Naomi's ( Main) Team
Naomi has 3 teams, including this one, but this one is the one she caught and raised during her challenge. So without further ado....
Gender: " Male. He/ Him pronouns"
Nature and Characteristics: Docile and Loves to Eat
Bio: Naomi's right hand mon. Both going through similar arcs of they're own, the two are inseparable. He's grown up a lot since he was a Sobble, oozing with the cool calm collectiveness as a leader now. It took him a lot to realize how good of a leader he is. He wasn't as energetic or loud as the other two starters, y'know? When he was a Sobble he just...cried and hid. Sometimes he wonders why Naomi chose him, but he's forever grateful. As an Inteleon, again, he's more confident now, no thanks to the support if his trainer and his team. He loves all of them dearly. He hopes that they can have many more battles to come, champion or not!
Gender: " Female, governor". she/her
Nature and Characteristics: Brave and has a study body
Bio: ((Note: just wanted to say that ever since watching Chuggaconroys playthrough of Xenoblade Chronicles 2, I fully believe that a human Eloise would sound just like Morag. Okay, on with the bio))
If Neptune is Naomi's right hand mon, then Eloise is Neptune's right hand mon. Woman. Wing? Bird? Whatever, the point is that she's been with with Neptune and Naomi from the start. In the early days of their travels, she was the one who took up the leadership role, due to Neptune's timidness and Naomi's lack of self-confidence. Though she never once hated them for it,and tried her best to encourage the both of them to be the best they can be. Even if it means pecking they're heads every so often. Now, with all of them fully evolved, she couldn't be any more proud. Eloise is often seen as the protector of the group. The big sis. She cares for her team and her trainer. That being said: if any harm comes to her teammates or her trainer or both, she will not hesitate to act. You have been warned.
Gender: " I'm just a wee lass, love" she/they
Nature and Characteristics: Calm and mischievous
Bio: Don't be fooled by her unassuming nature, this frog( ?) has a pranking streak and you might be her next victim. Fortunately her pranks aren't harmful, just mild inconveniences, like adding lots of Cheri berries to make the curry way hotter than it needs to be. Xena can be a bit spoiled, given that she was the baby of the group for a while, and thus being used to being babied( which also fueled her desire to become more independent). Other than her harmless pranks, Xena's pretty chill, always going with the flow. She loves hanging Marnie and Piers when they do, getting to rock out now and again. She's totally not trying to set up Naomi and Marnie together. Nope. She would never. Speaking of setting up.
Gender: ".....female" she/her
Species : Hatterene
Nature and Characteristics: Quiet and Alert to Sounds
Bio: Emotions can be so loud. So negative. It's one of the reasons why Luna prefers Sebby. Yes he's loud, and sometimes annoying, but he's so.....him. So positive. Also because he's her baby brother and she generally prefer him over others. Until they both join Naomi's team. At first, Luna hated Naomi. Not because she was a bad trainer and unworthy of her attention, far from it. Even as a small Hatenna she could see the potential her newfound trainer had. The problem was the large amounts of self-doubt and self-loathing that ticked her off. It was practically oozing out of her! Ugh. She can't deal with that. It's.....too much. But it bothered her. How an obvious strong and kind person would think so low of herself. At the time, Luna thought it was stupid. To feel such a way, and was just planning to run off with Sebby when it was dark. But Sebby, her beloved Sebby, latched on to his trainer and refused to let go. Because of course he would do that. It's Sebby. So Luna stayed. And she watched. And, begrudgingly, warmed up to her trainer. And the rest of the team. And, somehow, engaged in a committed relationship with Xena. How? She doesn't know, but if any harm comes to her girlfriend she will see red. Ahem. Ever since she joined the team, Luna is more .....open to the idea of emotions. They're still loud. Still annoying, but they're.....nice. Even the negative ones. That's just what brings humans and pokemon together, hm?
Name: Sebastian "Sebby"
Gender: " Naomi says I'ma good boi!" He/Him
Nature and Characteristics: Jolly and Alert to Sounds
Bio: A good boi. The goodest boi. What a lad. When he first met Naomi and the gang,he didn't want to leave. Partially because he was just so excited to meet new people and make new friends! And because Naomi was going through some things when he and Luna was caught, and as an impidimp, he thrived off it. Now keep in mind this wasn't by his own will! When Luna broke it down for him after the fact he felt incredibly bad! (He couldn't let go of Naomi for an hour.) Even when Naomi gained more and more confidence in herself, Sebby stilled thrived. He's so happy that his trainer was loving herself the way he lived her! Just seeing her happy makes his day! He loves his team, both him and Xena like pulling pranks on the others( much to Luna's annoyance) and he really looks up to Neptune and Eloise! ( I say that as if they're really old or something lol). It may come as a surprise to some that Sebastian is a strategic thinker, often the one implementing strategies for the team( Luna's so proud). He's not afraid to fight dirt, btw. He's still a Grimmsnarl. Though no one would seem to notice given his cheery personality.
Name: Prince Yuki
Gender/Pronouns: " I am prince!" He/they
Nature and Characteristics: Hardy and proud of his power.
Bio: Is he an actual prince? Wouldn't you like to know. Yuki, despite his claims to be a prince, his a lot more humble than he lets off. Most of his ego comes from his battle prowess( he was considered to be the "strongest snom" on route 8). This cockiness had lead him into some trouble, particularly given who is considered the leader of the team, though no one really took his claims to leadership seriously....well. Except Sebastian. Now Yuki isn't stupid. He knows that no one truly believes his claims that he's royalty, nor that he had the skills to be a good leader. It infuriates him to no end, but it's something that he has long accepted. But Sebastian was different. He listened. He helped him train. He called him " His Majesty" or "My prince". He believed him truly. And soon his actions spread across the team. Of course by the time he evolved, Yuki was fine with them not using the title prince everytime given how close they all gotten, but it was still nice to be taken seriously! He never really got that before. And it all started with Sebas- Sebby. It all started with Sebby. Sometimes, at night, when everyone is outside of their pokeballs, camping out, Yuki would sleep close to Sebby. Usually he would hate getting close to anyone while he sleeps, given it gives him unnecessary warmth. But he makes Sebby the one exception.
Emma (or Clueless) but it’s WinterSpider
Peter has grown up as the son of Tony Stark, international business tycoon and inventor, and has wanted for nothing his entire life. His daddy has bought him everything and more, and Peter’s not dumb. He knows it’s to make up for not one, not two, but three failed marriages before Peter’s thirteenth birthday.
High school is Peter’s Kingdom, and his daddy is incredibly proud of not only his charm and success, but also his ability to bend everyone to his will— teachers, students and anyone else in his way. Peter doesn’t even give the high school boys a second look. He hates how they talk, how dull they are.
He also hates college boys, so maybe he’ll just stay single forever. A perfect example is the son of one of his daddy’s wives— Bucky. Such a dumb name too, Peter hates how broody and quiet Bucky his, how much of daddy’s attention he demands when he visits.
So Peter focuses on the sad, helpless girls in his school— using his talents and resources to give them what they want, pair them up with the disgusting jocks of their dreams. It’s decidedly not cool when his girls start asking about Bucky, the “dreamy hunk” who’s set to inherit Stark Industries.
And it’s true. Even though Peter wishes his daddy would hand the company down to him, he knows Bucky is the chosen favorite. Probably the reason why he detests Bucky so much, but will deny it to his grave. It’s easier to succeed in the roll he’s been given, and maybe, after his PhD, daddy will change his mind.
But these girls showing interest in Bucky pushes him over the limit. One night, after a particularly dreadful party, Peter stomps through the door only to find Bucky in his seat in the living room, drinking out of his mug and wearing his kitten ear facial headband. He sees red.
Stomping over to Bucky, he yanks off the headband, completely ignoring Bucky’s drawl of “hey sweet thing,” and puts it on his own head, pushing his curls back with a humph.
“This is mine, Bucky. You can’t just come in here and take what’s mine.”
Bucky, the jerk, just smirks and stands to his feet. Peter’s breath catches as Bucky pushes into his space, reaching up to brush a thumb over his cheek. His eyes flutter shut as Bucky crowds closer, warm and inviting against the line of Peter’s body. Has Bucky always been this… this…
And then Bucky tugs on one of the kitten ears, and ducks down until his lips are a hairs breadth from Peter’s ear, “You’re right, baby— they look better on you anyways.”
It’s not until he slips out of the room that Peter realizes Bucky still has his mug. He pouts and sinks into his chair, definitely not lifting his fingers to feel where Bucky touched his cheek, thankful that the low light and tight pants hide his slight arousal.
Definitely not into college boys.
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#30 & #32 with cevans if you're still taking requests 💛
I've always loved you
“Do you think I’m happy? Are you really that blind?”
"I'm tired of pretending!"
Warning: angst, bff to lovers
Chris has been your friend since forever. He was your first friend in kindergarten and he is still your friend. You both have been through a lot together, good and bad, but nothing could pull you both apart for anything.
You started to noticed when you turned 20 you love Chris. Not in the platonic way, but in a soulmate way. It seemed like you have been burying those feelings through your teen years thinking they would go away but they didn't, they stayed. There was no more fighting them, you loved Chris and you have for a while. You Tried constantly Flirting with him, but Chris didn't get the hint.
Chris had invited you over to his house, he had just got done filming and he needed to see you from being away for too long.
You pressed your knuckles against the door and waited for it to open. A minute had past until the door opened, Chris stood there with a smile on his face. "Hey, y/n!"
He pulled you into a hug and you giggled. "Hi Chris."
He pulled away and looked over your body. "Look how much you've grown." Chris said sarcastically. You rolled your eyes at him. "Get out of the way." You pushed his softly to the side as he belted out a laugh. When he was calmed down he apologized and shut the door. He followed you to the kitchen where you took a seat at the island In the middle of the kitchen.
"so how was filming?"
Chris reached into the fridge and grabbed two beers before turning around and handing you one. "Uh it was good. I had a lot of fun, but I rather be here than away filming."
Chris took a sip of his beer as he finished speaking. "Well you're finally home so that's nice." You took a sip of your own beer before Chris spoke. "So you meet any hot guys lately?" He wiggled his eyebrows at you making you visibly cringe.
"uh no. Why you asking me?"
Chris leaned up against the counter. "I don't know. I was hoping you would find someone while I was gone."
Chris knew he was lying to himself as he said that. He was quite relieved you didn't find anyone while he was gone.
"yeah well I wasn't looking. No one interested me anymore." You grew quiet as you looked down at the beer bottle between your fingers. Chris looked over at you, he can tell something was slightly off about you.
"well I'm sure your soulmate is out there waiting for you as much as you're waiting for him."
"yeah, I don't think he's waiting?" You mumbled under your breath. Chris knitted his eyebrows. "What did you say?"
You exhaled, I said I don't think he's waiting Chris, I don't."
"y/n, I'm sure he i–" "Chris you don't understand." You cut him off. “Do you think I’m happy? Are you really that blind? I loved you for years, since I was 16. For the past 20 years I've felt this way. I've been waiting, waiting for you to just magically fall in love with me but it never happened." You took a deep breath as your heart ached in your chest. "I'm tired of pretending Chris, I am. I don't want another guy out there who's random, I want you but I know I won't have you."
You got up and grabbed your car keys off the island and started to walk to the front door. Chris was shocked but he had enough in him to get up and follow you. He stopped you once you reached the door; he turned you around before smashing his lips against yours. With that force it made you stumble back but Chris pulled you closer to him.
His tongue slipped into your mouth making you melt on the inside. You were finally kissing him.
When you both needed air Chris pulled away and looked down at you, his finger ran over your cheekbone. "Y/n, I wish you would have told me that a long time ago."
"I know, I should have."
Chris sighed. "It's okay, it's fine. I know now and that's all that matters." He smiled at you causing you to smile back. He leaned in, this time much softly and kissed you again. You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him close.
You finally got your soul mate.
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Genre: Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Paranormal, Romance
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Alexia Maccon, the Lady Woolsey, awakens in the wee hours of the mid-afternoon to find her husband, who should be decently asleep like any normal werewolf, yelling at the top of his lungs. Then he disappears; leaving her to deal with a regiment of supernatural soldiers encamped on her doorstep, a plethora of exorcised ghosts, and an angry Queen Victoria.
But Alexia is armed with her trusty parasol, the latest fashions, and an arsenal of biting civility. So even when her investigations take her to Scotland, the backwater of ugly waistcoats, she is prepared: upending werewolf pack dynamics as only the soulless can. She might even find time to track down her wayward husband, if she feels like it.
CHANGELESS is the second book of the Parasol Protectorate series: a comedy of manners set in Victorian London, full of werewolves, vampires, dirigibles, and tea-drinking.
Changeless is the second novel in the parasol protectorate series and starts a couple of months after the events of Soulless. Alexia Tarabotti, now Lady Maccon, has settled into her married life as Alpha female of the Woolsey pack and was appointed muhjah of Queen Victoria to the Shadow Council. However, as with most things in Alexia’s life, nothing stays simple for long and soon her husband is off on Bureau for Unnatural Registration business without telling her, supernaturals have been turned mortal though no one knows why, and there is an entire regiment setting up camp on her front lawn. Alexia is pulled into a plot that could change the face of London’s supernatural scene and politics forever which takes her to the most unexpected place, the Scottish Highlands to solve the mystery of her husband's past and this humanization disease with an unwanted entourage and a parasol in tow.
I have to start this review by saying that I am thoroughly enjoying all the aspects of this series. It is a wonderful mixture of humor, wit, mystery, and emotion to keep the reader entertained from cover to cover. The main characters are well-rounded with wonderful interactions and the side characters are caricatures that don’t take themselves too seriously, which makes them charming. Well, everyone except Felicity Loontwill whose presence in this story I did not understand and she was a thoroughly unlikable character. However, the part of this series that I find most interesting is the world that Carriger has created that mixes supernatural and science in Victorian England. Mortals know that the supernatural set runs England and it would make sense that they would want to do something to get the upper hand. Unlike in the first novel where scientists were seen as nothing but evil fanatics, we are given a rather neutral and enthusiastic character in Genevieve Lefoux. While it is obvious that Madame Lefoux has her own goals, she is also seen to have a softer side that makes her much more likable than the Hypocras Club scientists.
Madame Lefoux was a rather interesting character in this novel, a true neutral party that was working with every faction of supernatural and scientist. I have to admit that in the Finishing School Series I found Madame Lefoux, then Vieve, but it was because she was a well-written character that was meant to be selfish and focused solely on her own ambitions and scientific advancement. Now we have a grown-up Madame Lefoux who seems to have everything she wanted in the first series, along with a few things that are unexpected, like a son and the ghost of her aunt hanging about. Her quiet confidence was very charming and her flirting with Alexia was both heartwarming and entertaining. I do hope she will continue to be part of the series.
Another familiar face was that of Lady Kingair, previously known as Sidheag Maccon. I had an almost opposite reaction to her grown-up persona, finding her hard to like in this novel due to how abrasive she was. I’m not saying that is a bad thing, Sidheag has been through quite a bit since she left Mademoiselle Geraldine’s Finishing Academy for Young Ladies of Quality, but as we are supposed to be sympathetic to Alexia she is not set up as a friendly character. I’m not sure if she will reappear, but I am glad to see that even though she wasn’t Mademoiselle Geraldine’s best pupil, she still got her heart's desire.
In the first novel, I made the comment that the plot took a bit of a back seat to the romance, but that was not the case in this novel. Lord Maccon is gone for a lot of the first fourth of the story and even when Alexia follows him to Scotland their affections take a back seat to the investigation as to why the Kingair pack is currently mortal. They are quickly becoming one of my favorite couples, though slightly abrasive at times, I felt as if the romance was perfectly interspersed in the events of the novel. We also see Alexia as more of an active agent instead of a woman that things are happening to, which is always a nice change. While she is not trained in combat, Alexia is smart enough to know how to use her body to her advantage when needed and her sharp mind when physical altercations aren’t necessary. Alexia continues to be a well-rounded heroine that attempts to keep as many social graces as possible while still getting straight to the point.
While I figured out the cause of the humanization curse pretty early on, I have to be very candid that I did not see the twist at the end of the book coming. Not only didn’t I see it coming, but I was also rather emotionally affected by the last chapter of the book. I think part of the reason was that Alexia has taken just about everything that had happened to her in stride but was left completely unprepared and speechless in this situation, which elicits a response in the reader. I was rather upset that I read it before bed so I couldn’t move onto the next book right away. I’ve no idea where the story is going, but I am excited to find out.
This is a wonderful sequel to Soulless as Carriger really starts to play in the world that she created in the first novel. While the stone stays lighthearted, there are moments of true heart and deep questions that make the reader think. After that ending, I literally can’t wait to see what happens next.
The Raven Haired Rebel
Pairing: Loki x reader
Series Summary: After invading New York, it was decided that, as a punishment, Loki would work for SHIELD. Yeah, right. After escaping from their custody and stranded on Midgard, the God of Mischief decides to prove he’s the one thing no one ever thought he was: the good guy. Now a vigilante, Loki attempts to make amends for his past wrongdoings while also evading the Avengers, including their newest member. You. Brought in specially for the case, you notice more and more details about the prince’s story don’t add up. When you get the chance to turn him in, will you listen to your employers or your heart that believes Loki’s done nothing wrong?
Chapter Summary: In which Loki enjoys his new life with you.
Chapter Warnings: none I believe
A/N: Thanks for coming along this little journey with me. Having been unsure of this story myself, I’m overwhelmed by the positive feedback it’s been getting! Happy reading :)
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Disclaimer: Gif not mine
Loki would never understand why they Norns blessed him with you, but he’d be forever grateful they did. That instant connection, that irresistible pull hadn’t faded at all. It only grew stronger, and drove his fear it was fluke further and further away every day. The kisses definitely helped too.
Moving into your apartment with you felt rather natural after having stayed in the motels together. You fell right back into your pattern, teasing and caring for each other, both in the most tender of ways. Waking up next to you still made him flustered, but he loved how the first thing you’d do was plant a kiss on his lips. Then you’d snuggle close to him and let him hold you, making him feel important to be allowed to wrap his arms around you. You, who were the only one to believe him. Believe in him. Truly, you were one of a kind.
He started having nightmares again. It’d been a while, but after what happened at the AIM base, he was tormented again. Now with the thought of you crumpling today the ground, his dagger buried in your flesh. It’d been an illusion, a necessary one, yet it still haunted him. He never told you the exact content of the dreams, but those were the times he let you hold him instead of the other way around. You’d always whisper sweet things in his ear until he calmed.
Right now you were snuggling on your couch, his arm around your waist while your head rested in the crook of his neck. He read a book as the TV played in the background, having grown accustomed to your habit and learned to tune out the noise. It was rather domestic, and Loki had been almost surprised to find out he liked it. Then again, any time spent with you was bound to be perfect, wasn’t it?
Today was your day off from work at the Avengers Tower. Loki would have been more than able to provide for the both of you, but you insisted that you wanted another job. As soon as Tony heard, he’d offered you one where you would help him figure out tech in the lab and monitor threats. Reluctantly, Loki had become friends with the man during the times he’d go and visit you at work.
Admittedly, the friendship was beneficial to Loki in more ways than one. During his time on the run, stopping crimes and saving people, he found he quite like helping others. You’d helped him find some charities he wanted to work with, and now he was establishing his own. With the help of Stark Industries, of course. They’d agreed almost immediately on helping kids in need, especially those who needed to be adopted or were in foster care. Loki had never much thought he’d want to raise a child of his own, but now he was wondering if he wanted to adopt. He’d mention it to you someday, but only if he was sure.
“Hey, Loki?” you said, breaking the comfortable silence between you, a smile already forming on your lips.
He put his book down immediately, giving you his full attention. Your eyes were still closed as you rested against him, and he took the opportunity to admire your beauty. “Yes, darling?”
“Have I told you yet today that I love you?”
The god chuckled. “Yes, you mentioned it.”
“Well, I’m telling you again anyway.” You finally lifted your head and looked him in his piercing blue-green eyes, cupping his cheek. “I love you.”
“And I you,” he replied, heavy emotion in his voice and shining eyes. “So, so much.”
He relished in the feel of your lips as you kissed him again. For a while he’d worried that he’d fallen for you to fast, that soon you’d not want him anymore, and he’d be heartbroken. Honestly, he still did sometimes. But it was in moments like this that those thoughts dissipated completely. The way you were pushing all the love you felt through to him by way of your connected lips, it made him feel reassured. Safe. You’d never doubted him, and that was so rare for someone like Loki.
Loki repositioned your bodies so he was over you, pecking little kisses along your jaw while you caught your breath. Just when he was about to recapture your lips, your computer chimed. You both sighed, but knew you had to check it in case Tony had blown something up in the lab and needed help again. Your brows knit together as you looked at the screen.
“Everything alright, darling?” he asked, peering over your shoulder at an encrypted message.
“There’s only one person I know who sends messages like that.”
And indeed, you were right; it was Fury. You and the trickster god read the message as you quickly sorted out the code. You were both being called in for another mission, despite having narrowly escaped being locked up. It was top secret, but he simply needed your talents for the case.
You turned to Loki with a smirk on your face. “What do you say? Ready to be done being rebel once and for all, and work with the law?”
“Perhaps,” he responded, pulling you back onto his lap “Though I still plan on doing things my own way.”
“I know,” you said. “And that’s why I love you.”
Before you could reply to the director, Loki began kissing you again, finishing what you’d started earlier. And for once in his life he didn’t care how anyone else saw him. Not when he had you. Not when he was finally perfectly and completely happy.
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Tagged by @bitterotter forever ago, thank you! (Seriously, I found this in my draft folder. Heck. I’m sorry it took so long.)
I’m not tagging anyone specifically, but if you feel like doing it, feel free.
For Henna Shepard, of Some Kind of Resolution.
name: Jehanne Shepard, called Henna for short. Nihlus once asked her if her nickname was in any way related to the ink humans use to decorate their skin. She was surprised he knew of it, but alas, it’s not why she calls herself that. It’s just easier than dealing with everyone’s weird looks at her old fashioned name.
eye colour: green
hair colour: red
height: 5′6, 1.67m
scars and burns: It’s never mentioned in the fic, but she does have a bullet wound scar from Elysium. What does get featured in the fic is the terrible injury she suffers at Noveria. She’s very lucky to be alive (thank you Dr. Chakwas, for being indomitable).
overweight/underweight: Neither, she’s very well muscled, as befits a soldier.
colors: She’s grown very partial to a particular shade of russet red contrasted with white markings.
music genre: Pretty much anything with a steady beat she can swing her hips to.
movie genre: She’ll destroy anyone who knows this, but she likes romantic happy ending movies. Not like romcoms, those bother her, but sappy stuff.
tv show: In keeping with her secret soft side, and don’t tell Tali, because she’ll never let Henna live it down, but she does enjoy Fleet and Flotilla.
nature documentary: she loves those really old Planet Earth shows from the 21st century.
drink: alcoholic: Something with bourbon. Or a beer.
book: Who has time to read? She’s saving the galaxy here.
passed university: No, she went straight to the Alliance after finishing what passed for public education in her birth city.
had sex: Yes
had sex in public: Do the showers on the Normandy count?
gotten pregnant: No
kissed a boy: Yes
kissed a girl: Yes
gotten tattoos: Yes. She has an N7 emblem on her arm, and post Reaper War gets both the Kryik and Vakarian colony markings on her shoulders.
had a broken heart: Not that she’s aware of.
been in love: Yes, she is currently.
stayed up for longer than 24 hours: She’s an N7, an Alliance solider, and a Council Spectre. What do you think?
scared easily: Not in the slightest.
jealous easily: No
dominant/submissive: Depends on which partner she’s with.
a cuddler: Oh yes, although it takes some careful maneuvering to cuddle with a turian, much less two of them.
a kisser: Yes
in love: Yup
single: Nope, not even slightly. She’s in a closed V polyamorous relationship with Nihlus Kryik and Garrus Vakarian.
have they harmed themselves: Not deliberately. But she does throw herself into the line of fire. She’s a Marine, it’s her job.
thought of suicide: No
attempted suicide: No, although accepting the mission to take out the Collectors probably felt suicidal at times.
wanted to kill someone: *snort* Of course.
have/had a job: See above.
have any fears: Losing her turians is probably the biggest one. The Reaper War was a slog she wouldn’t have survived without them.
sibling(s): None that she knows of.
parents: Unknown, she grew up on the streets.
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Could you do a Bucky/Reader fic for 16 on the smut prompts?
The intimacy of shaving
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader, Sam Wilson x Reader
Bucky Bingo Square: New haircut square
Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Sarah Wilson
Setting: three months after the end of Falcon and the Winter Soldier
Rating: M (Mature), E (explicit), NSFW, +18 only please
Warnings: fluff, angst, bickering, smut, oral female receiving, yearning, pining, unrequited love, smutty dreams, broken bones, mention of torture, Bucky’s old memories,
Word count: 10,800
Summary: Frustrated with being left behind, worry taking hold after finding out just a fraction of how bad your boys are. Making you start to search your feeling's for both men. Especially with the intimacy of giving Bucky a hair cut and shave. Unexpected emotions surface on all parts.
Notes: Sequel too “My own worse enemy," filling in a bingo square for #buckybingo and also an Anon request asking for smut prompt #16 “I’m going to die if you don’t let me cum.” Hope you don't mind me adding Sam into the mix sweetie. Also for my head cannon Sam uses Delacroix LA for his base of operation. Wanting to help take care of his family while taking on the mantle of Captain America. Hope you enjoyed doll.
Tag list’s: Are open
Forever’s: @jedi-mando @chickensarentcheap
Bucky Barnes list: @learisa @eclipses-and-moondust
Story list: @sammyissassy @feelmyroarrrr
Wearing a path from the kitchen to living room ignoring Sarah’s stare, thumb nail damn near nibbled to the bed with how much your chewing the poor abused finger. Cell phone pressed to your ear, listening to Sams deep baritone, “What’d ya mean three places Samuel? How the f-ing hell did you both managed to get so banged up?”
“Explanations will roll out once we touch down Y/N for now know at least he didn’t break his funny bone that’s still none existence,” glancing towards Bucky stretched out over the metal helo bench. Right arm in a sling snug to his body, thick plaster cast covering from mid bicep to mid palm, fingers still visible.
“I heard that and I do to have a sense of humor just not your brand of stupid jokes bird brain,” deep voice unmistakably Bucky’s catching a wobble in the cadence not there when last they spoke.
Swiping a hand over your face wanting to kill them both for leaving you behind. Plans to do just that forming in your mind while snarking, “Remind me again why exactly you chose to leave me behind?”
Staying home you could’ve possibly worked with, the unknown danced on your nerves more than you’d give credit to. Having grown even closer to both men over the last six months, always brushing those pesky feelings and thoughts away that surface during weak moments of worry or sleep.
“To dangerous and I’m not arguing with you on those semantics it’s bad enough cyborg got the shit beaten out of him,” quickly pulling the phone from his ear at the high pitched sound from down the line. Forgetting a moment your attachment to both men, “You finished?”
Low growl in answer, biting off the curses you wish to fling at both Captain America and the Winter Soldier. “Don’t worry you’re in for it once you get home. ETA?” Checking the watch strapped to your left wrist, “I’ll come pick y’all up, gotta stop in town for supplies anyway.”
“No worries my trucks at base I’ll get Buck and myself home.” Glancing at his watch, “Landing in about two hours, think you can grab a couple of Miss Bridgette’s pecan pies?”
Too many years working with that man not to know what he likes, “For the shit you and Barnes pulled get your own pie man.” Soft chuckles lets you know Sarah heard you. Eyes locking with her’s for a moment seeing the worry in those warm browns matching as you knew in your own. “Just bring you asses home so Sarah and I can roast them.”
Almost feeling the deep groan from over the phone line, “What did you tell her?”
“Nothing since that’s what I got,” shaking head tips to the side picking up on Sam’s easy breathing and the helo’s engines in the back ground. “Just get home dumbass,” affection in your tone. Ending the call, slipping the cell into your front pocket to flop down into the worn out but still comfortable couch.
“They get hurt?” Anxiety tainting her voice from across the room.
Peeking through your fingers at her, dropping them to your thighs to run the length of denim covered skin, “Don’t know really, Sam sounds fine but a concussion or another type of head injury wouldn’t show it’s self right away. From what I did gather they finished up the mission a little over four hours ago, in flight for the last two.”
“What about Bucky?” Meeting your eyes having confided in her years ago about the crush harbored for a certain metal armed ex-assassin turned Cap’s left hand man. Always leaving out the other part of your secret crush. “Speaking of which you ever gonna tell them how you feel?”
“Busting chops about that again Sarah?” Exasperated sigh marches passed barely parted lips, “Something’s broke in three places that’s all Sam ‘Stubborn ass’ Wilson would say. Just not which one of them or what body part exactly.” Firmly ignoring her last question and not picking up on the fact she said them instead of him. To stand hands to hips, leaning back to stretch and possibly pop your spine. “I’m going to town you wanna come or need anything.”
“And you call Sam stubborn,” head shaking with a fond smile tipping her lips upward. Picking up the subtle shift in your demeanor as relief floods your system with knowing they're coming home at least safe. Having guessed your feelings for her older brother not long ago however, keeping that little tidbit to herself. “I’ll come with, give you company and grief along the way. The boy’s won’t come home till later anyway.”
Eyes roll you reach for the car keys on the coffee table, patting your back pocket to check for wallet and the front for cell phone. “Ready to roll?”
Hour and a half later arms loaded with grocery bags, making sure to hide Miss Bridgette’s pie’s from Sam, you and Sarah set to work putting everything away. Setting to work fixing dinner efficiently dancing around each other like a well oiled machine working together in tandem getting each task done. Back door quietly trying to open, Sam poking his head around the well loved oak wood door. Showing a face littered with cuts, a busted bottom lip and dark shadow of a black eye around his left. But his smile still widens flashing pearly whites at seeing the two of you. Entering, Sam places a large locking suit case and round leather carry case not far from the door.
Soft gasp leave’s Sarah’s lips, quickly moving towards her brother to look him over, “You were ugly before now it’s just worse bro.”
Snort existed through his nose, stepping fully into the house with a limp on his right side, accepting the hug she gives him carefully. “You should see the other guy.”
“I’m the other guy,” voice slightly strained but still light almost playful unlike the Bucky of months ago. Though seeing him coming around Sam, arm cradled close in a black cloth sling. Peeks of plaster noticeable making you groan, head shaking at the very sight of him. Assortment of bruises littered his face, his own busted lip, and a three inch cut circling just above his collarbone. Seeing the storm brewing in your eyes, “No we didn’t fight and Sam didn’t cause these wonderful souvenirs.”
“Stupid ass got captured, wouldn’t listen to my plan…”
“You didn’t have a plan Sam not a logistical one…”
“Oh, so you bulldozing in like a raging bull in a China shop worked so well. Who got capture?” Pressing a finger behind his ear to lift the shell listening for Bucky’s answer. “I’m sorry I can’t hear you. You’re gonna say you right Robo soldier cause that’s the correct answer.”
Exasperated with them both, “Shut it and sit down dinner’s ready. I swear the two of you fight worse than Cass and AJ.” Authority ringing through Sarah’s tone cutting eyes at both men.
“Oh sweetheart Cass and AJ have nothing on these two bone heads, more maturity in their little bodies than both of them put together.” Rubbing your temples trying to fend off the building migraine behind your eyes. “Listening to constant bickering I wanna put them in a ‘Get along shirt.'”
Scowl in place while giving them a full once over. Cataloguing the damage you could see and wondering about that which you couldn’t. Noticing the length of Bucky’s hair almost a shaggy just falling a little over his ears and brushing the collar of the black t-shirt he’s wearing. Full beard dusting his cheeks and chin reminding you of those days long gone back in Wakanda. In contrast to Sam’s neatly kept mustache and goatee, close cropped haircut smartly framing his handsome face. Looking much like the day he and Bucky left three months ago on their reconnaissance mission. Knowing better as looks deceive and clothes cover up places eyes can’t see without stripping them naked. The very thought peeking interest but pushing those thoughts back with a frown. Of course it doesn’t stop you from wanting to hug them both mindful of injures unseen that brings a scowl to your features.
“You wouldn’t?” Traces of fear slicing through those deep russet browns. “I thought you loved me Y/N?”
Speaking over Sam, “What’s a ‘Get along’ shirt?”
Caught between wanting to roll her eyes and chuckle, “It’s a big shirt we’d put the two of you in till ya stop bickering like children and actually get along.” Dishing up dinner, Sarah looks towards both men. Trying hard not to burst out laughing at the sour look on Sam’s face nor the still slightly confused one on Bucky’s.
“I see smoke coming from his ears,” snarky quip receiving a back handing smack to his arm.
Bowel’s placed at the table, “Aim for the head next time Sar.” Taking the seat on Sam’s right offering him a cheekily smile, “Might actually knock the few brain cells he has left around and jump start the hamster running the wheel.”
“You both wound me,” clutching his chest dramatically. “With friends and family like this who can you trust.”
“Dramatic’s must come with handling the shield,” cerulean eyes rolling edged with teasing tone. Glancing towards Sam first then you beside him, going to explain for Sarah’s benefit. “Steve could put on some high melodrama back in the day. Much like Samuel here.” Scratching at his chin with vibranium fingers, a low hiss only you catch sounds when the plates catch the little hairs.
Scoffing, “Only Sarah calls me that first off, second look who’s talking Mr. Bionic Staring machine scaring off everyone who comes within two feet. Dramatics run through your veins just as well. ”
“Children,” both women exclaim hands coming down to slam the table at the same. Before time digging into dinner as the back door opens with Cass and AJ storming inside with excited chatter upon seeing both Sam and Bucky.
Each asking about what happened, how’d the mission go and why exactly Bucky’s sporting a sling and cast. All questions peeking the interested of both women with brows raised and narrowed eyes.
“Settle in first and eat dinner,” Sam intones wanting to keep most of what happened from his family. “For the most part the mission went successful.”
Very unladylike snort leaves your nose hidden behind a glass of sweet tea you sip from, “At least you came back in one piece or three in someone’s case.” Eyes narrow even farther on Bucky who has the good graces to look sheepish and divert his eyes.
“But the super serum why didn’t it help like that,” AJ snapped his little fingers for emphasis on the quickness the serum should work or so he thinks.
“Doesn’t quiet work that way AJ,” Bucky starts running a hand through his longer than usual hair. Giving a short frustrated tug before returning to the topic at hand. “Yeah the serum helps speed up the healing process it’s not instantaneous and,” pausing to side eye you not wanting to admit there’s more injures than just his arm.
Scowl returning having a feeling you know why he’s paused in explaining, “Takes longer to heal when multiple injures are involved.”
Dinner finishes with other questions, skirting the full truth about the mission, discussing the coming week with work and school. Sam’s boyish smile appears when Sarah brings out the pie, cutting out slices to pass around with Reddi-whip, coffee for the adults, milk for the kids. Silence settles for a moment the enjoyment of pie more important to savor and only once done do you raise to start cleaning up.
“I’ll,” shooting Sarah a look with a shake of your head.
“You got paperwork to catch up on babe I’ve got this, besides Sam volunteered to help. Didn’t you Sam?” Shooting a look his way, clearly speaking volumes if the answer comes back no.
Brow arched in question but thought better then to ask, though he flips the script on you, “Of course, Bucky volunteer’s.” Quickly moving away from the hand threatening to land a hard punch to his right thigh. Almost toppling to the floor in his hast to move Sam tweaked his hip a twinge of pain slicing through his features.
“Serves you right Wilson,” thought a slice of regret skates across your thoughts. Head shaking you stand gathering plates as the boys excuse themselves to play video games.
“Homework first or I’m taking those games away,” Sarah yells after them looking in your direction for a second. “You got these two?” Pointing at each of them in turn with her own frown dropping her lips downward.
“Sadly yes,” exasperation clearly written in the rigidness of you stance and narrowing to slits of your eyes. “Blissfully unaware or want to know everything?”
“Unaware I’m just happy their back whole,” nodding Sarah takes her leave, heading for the home office.
Times flown, six months in fact since Karli’s death and Sam taking over the mantle of Captain America. Going above and beyond to change how the worlds become and see’s the shield. Using Delacroix as home base to keep himself grounded and around for his family. Surprisingly enough including you and Bucky the house feels a touch over crowded but wouldn’t want things any different.
“Care to explain what that means?” Limping with hands full towards the sink, Sam places his arm load down watching you move around the kitchen. Putting leftovers up, setting to work on the dishes, the familiarity you exude warms a place in Sam’s heart. Always pushing those thoughts from his mind, your his best friend and wouldn’t see him in any other way. Especially with your heart firmly filled with Bucky.
Giving your back to both men and only acknowledging their presence when Bucky comes over with a bowel. “Thanks,” leaves your lips with a nod.
“We’re sorry for leaving you behind Y/N, but Sam and I agreed things were to dangerous neither of us wanted you to get hurt,” trying to reason Bucky leans his back against the counter beside you. Tugging once again at his too long hair that gets slightly tangled in the plates of his fingers.
“You actually agreed on something?” Catching his actions, your head shakes grabbing for the towel to dry soapy hands and help with his dilemma. “Instead you both come back looking like train wreck’s all beaten, broken and bruised. With a busted arm,” finished with untangling his fingers to point at his arm. Whirling around to assess Sam who’s trying not to put weight on his right leg, “Banged up hip and God know what else internally. Neither one of you are spring chickens for heaven’s sake.”
“Don’t know what your talking about Y/N? I’m not a day over twenty-five,” taking an aim to make you smile and ease the tension in your shoulders. Frown appearing when your countenance doesn’t change but deepens, “Talk to the resident Centurion who got his ass captured and tortured for over a week.”
Low growl leaves your lips pursed together in a grim line, “Do either of you think about the consequences of your actions? Of what’ll happen without either of you in this God forsaking world?” Tossing your hands up and turning back to dish washing, something to keep from chocking the life outta the two of them, or spilling your inner most thoughts. Afraid to loose either man the very thought making your heart clinch painfully in your chest, breathing picking up as tears gloss over your eyes. Plates clang loudly, forcefully slamming them into the drying rack making both men wince at your actions.
“Y/N,” coming up behind you large warm hands carefully rest on tense shoulders. Aware of your feelings for a certain cyborg the thought a little bitter to take but Sam resigns himself to the role of best friend. “We’re sorry really,” taking a breath and clearing his throat wanting to make amends and explain. “We thought, planned, things just…”
“Went to shit around us, it’s not like Sam or I wanted to get the crap beating out of us doll it just,” shrugging vibranium hand coming to rest on your shoulder beside Sam’s. “Got complicated.”
Taking a deep breath drawing in the scents of Sam’s citrus and cider wood cologne you couldn’t put your finger on naming, mixing with Bucky’s old world sandalwood base cologne of 4711. Eyes close for a moment blinking back the tears, and to gather thoughts, righting them in an order that makes sense. Trying to keep out the feelings currently jumbling up your brain. “I know,” body sags back against Sam’s strong chest while unconsciously leaning towards Bucky’s hand. “Neither of you will do that shit again. Do I make myself clear?”
“Not if things go dark side like this time, we’re not putting you in harms way,” feeling you stiffen Sam steps back, Bucky’s hand drops back to his side when you whirl on the man behind you. Stance ridge and firm, Sam crosses his arms adding his own glare and not backing down. “My decision is final on the matter and no amount of arguing will change that.”
Understanding Sam’s position, however the thought of staying behind, waiting to find out if… no you push those thoughts aside. “Mine, that’s who makes the choice not either of you,” heat of annoyance flaring to life as you look between the two men. “Knowing what I signed up for, choose to stick around and help put this broken blue marble we call home back together. I won’t sit out the next mission we clear on that?”
Rubbing the back of his neck, barely audible hiss leaves Bucky’s lips at having hair yanked out by the roots. Though his voice is steady when asking, “Why did you stick around? Thought once Walker handed over the shield, the Flag smashers agenda crashed and burned you’d skip out on the next train back to normal.” Not that he minded of course, in fact Bucky rather enjoyed your company, reminded him of those first months out of cryo getting to know each other. Plus his questions distracted you from getting an answer that won’t satisfy.
“I have my reasons,” giving a half hearted shrug you turn back to finishing up the dishes not really wanting to explain. Not fully sure yourself why you’ve stuck around though deep down you know it has to do with both men. “Reasons neither of you need to know.”
Sharing a look with Bucky, “Don’t pull that shit with us sweetheart you demand answers now we ask the same in return.”
Sure they still argued like an old married couple but a begrudging understanding has built between the pair, coming to an almost friendship neither would fully admit to. Both wanting to protect the small family friend’s circle patched together like grandma’s old quilt. Tattered, frayed and a few wholes but well loved and always cared for. Eyes landing back on you to watch the forward slump of your shoulders rounded inward along with your chin dropped to your chest.
“I have the two of you house broken,” idea forming to steer the conversation away. “Don’t need that headache on repeat and I wouldn’t leave the two of you bone heads alone to kill each other or drive poor Sarah crazy,” quicker than either can react you’ve scooped up hand fulls of soap bubbles to smash into both their faces. Deflecting the conversation away from having to answer and lightening the mood. Or so you hoped with the playfully murderous looks both men shoot you. Skirting Sam’s grabby hands heading to put the kitchen table between yourself, Captain America and the Winter Soldier. “Now boys that’s just all in good fun and your both hurt so I suggest you think about your actions before retaliating.”
Wiping the remains of soapy bubbles from his face, thick fingers making wet tracks over denim to dry hands. Sam edges a little closer intent on trying to snag your arm. That ghosts through his fingers, “For now but remember paybacks a bitch sweetheart.” Bright smile tugs his full lips, head shaking though he knows there’s so much more your hiding from both he and Bucky. One day he’ll crack that secret you hold so dear, for now Sam lets you cling tightly.
Watching him go you turn towards Bucky who’s smirk sets you back a moment. “I don’t think I like that look Barnes,” arms crossed mustering a half glare. “Sam’s right you really can see the smoke rising from your head.”
“Hahaha that jokes getting old,” light hearted quip falling from his lips, eyes raking your form as you near the sink. Catching you looking between finishing the dishes and making sure Bucky’s not going to retaliate. “I come in peace promise besides I’m too old for revenge I’ll leave it to you young whipper snappers,” throwing his voice to sound like an old man.
Laughter rings full and deep from your parted lips, soapy hands gripping the sink to keep from toppling over in mirth. His own chuckle exists on a grin, cerulean eyes taking in how carefree you look. Tension and worry melted away with his well played grandpa joke. Making Bucky wish he got to see you like this more often but then he remembered why he never searched. Why he left you alone and only within the last ten or so months managed to reconnect the missing dots in his life. Sure there’s still blood on his hands he tries to scrub clean with each mission, to make those amends and not just avenge. But truly help people in ways that didn’t require lead or blood.
Still wondering, so he gives voice to those thoughts, “Why didn’t you go back to your life doll?” Feeling he’s perpetuated a grave error in asking the question but a part of him wants. No needed the answer to know why you’d give up a happy life for one of danger and uncertainty with him and Sam.
Sobering, his question hitting you like a ton of cement bricks keeping you from turning to face him. Wincing when another hiss echos around inside your head from your right side. “Tell you what Buck you let me cut that hair and beard of yours I’ll answer your questions.”
“I get you don’t… wait… what?” Not sure he’d heard you right. Pain making a return to fog his brain for the moment as throbbing radiates across his broken clavicle to the dislocated shoulder, dancing along the fractured radius and painfully tingling his fingers. Soft curse exists his lips reminding himself to take Sam’s suggestions next time though he wouldn’t let the other man know. “Don’t happen to have any pain meds do ya doll?”
Eyes narrow, “Which parts did they break?” Holding up a hand to stop him from answering while you head towards your room. Grabbing up the small med kit Sharon gave you months back for times like these. Pausing to scoop up the hair scissors and trimer, along with a shaver and cream, both of which belonging to Sam. “Now you were saying?”
Placing everything on the table, unzipping the medium size unassuming black bag pulling out a small bottle to pop the top and wiggle out two pills. Handing those over to Bucky who just stares at them resting in his metal palm.
“Trying to kill me doll?” Teasing tone to the cadence of his words while popping them into his mouth and excepting the glass of water. Downing in one go and handing it back, “Never did like pills reminds me of Steve.”
Resting a gentle hand on his bad shoulder, “If I tried to kill ya Buck you’d see it coming,” snickering at the wide eyed look he gives you. Sobering with understanding filled eyes that stay locked with his, “I’m sorry it”s not my intentions to bring up the past.” Moving to put the glass down, you stay at the sink looking out over the backyard, orange and reds dancing over the rippling surface of the bayou. Sinking sun creating a cornucopia of color heralding the on coming twilight and the end of another day.
“You didn’t Y/N,” coming to stand next to you watching the golden ball of life giving light slowly sink into the horizon. On the tip of his tongue to speak about Steve, the abandonment he felt acutely with the absence of his best friend. Slowly filled by your present, that of Sam’s and his family. “I guess ‘Till the end of the line’ meant just till he could get back to who he really missed.” Anguish heard loudly through soft spoken words not meant for your ears but once uttered there’s no going back.
Out of your peripheral vision you study Bucky for a moment heart breaking for the man who’s lost so much to then fully face him. His own gaze staying straight ahead staring unseen out the window with tan lace curtains framing the coming twilight. Over head light casting shadows in the hallows and angles of his features, bringing out the bruises highlighting the cuts, making your heart ache for this man in ways you’ve tried to push aside. Ways you didn’t want it to feel in case of rejection but couldn’t help the tightening in your chest nor the want to embrace and hold Bucky close.
“Come on,” without thinking your hand slips into his vibranium palm tugging till he follows and only dropping to scoop up trimmer, combs and scissors before heading out the back door.
For a moment Bucky stood there thankful to Shuri for the ability to feel warmth and the weight of your hand in his vibranium limb. The very thoughts your simple gesture conjures damns his heart making it beat triple time. When your head pops back around the door sweet smile crossing those kissable lips. Bucky has to remind himself you’re off limits friends nothing more and to breath. Your beauty stealing the air from his lungs, making it hard to focus on anything except your present.
Catching the out of focus look in his cerulean eyes mind swirling with questions as to what he’s thinking about. “You gonna stand there taking root or get your silly ass out here,” motioning with a jerk of your head over your shoulder smile still firmly in place. Making sure he’s actually moving before existing to place a stool about middle of the back porch. Patting the hardwood barstool then reaching up to tug on the pull string as light floods the area casting a bright glow.
Transfixed for a moment in the doorway with the peek of skin allowed to his eyes. Your heather grey band shirt riding up teasingly tormenting him. Cursing internally, tongue trapped between indenting teeth to keep the sounds at bay. Till the hard slap of your palm against wooden seat draws his attentions and he robotically takes the seat. Stiffening with the fluttering of a barber’s cape hating to have things around his neck. Only to settle once you have it in place and buttoned reminding him your not there to hurt or torture him. Fingers brushing lightly over the exposed skin of his neck, creating goosebumps to dance across his flesh.
“Not too tight?” Gently running nimble fingers through his hair, blunt nails scratching the scalp. Finding it hard to keep from rubbing into your hands and fighting the urge to purr with each pass. You work the larger knots out carefully, pulling a comb from the back pocket of your jeans to run through his hair. “You with me Buck?”
“Hmm?” Simple noise issues from the back of his throat lost in the tingling sensations your fingers bloom across his body. Wanting to chase the feeling bringing peace to his mind much like the soft cadence your voice takes on with the intimacy surrounding the two of you. Sweet chuckle music to his ears and snaps him back to now, noticing you’ve paused your hands waiting for a response, “Sorry no I’m good.”
“Enjoying yourself Barnes?” Teasingly quipped while adjusting the cape to cover his back. Making sure all his hair lays over the edges and carefully combing out the smaller knots your fingers missed. Secretly enjoying the soft chestnut strands as they curl around your fingers. Massaging his scalp hoping to relax his tense posture when a particularly stubborn knot has you accidentally giving a not so gentle tug. Garnering a low moan from the man in front of you. “Sorry Buck,” working the knot out with a little more care taking the sound as one of pain.
Throat clearing, thankful his crotch is currently covered to not give away the secret he’s concealing. Praying to all the heavens you’ve taken the moan as one of pain instead of pleasure that’s surfing through his veins with a simple hair pull. “Yes, and it’s fine,” words pushed passed lips held taunt to keep from letting any sound out. Searching his mind for a topic to settle on, willing his body to stop reacting to the warmth of yours.
Each brush of fingers sends heat flaring to life along his nerves. Knowing the pain killers don’t worked through his system that quickly. Yet, the throbbing ache once present has diluted to a low annoying thump with the heat of your hands on his cotton covered shoulder. Wanting to lean back into your body but holds himself ridge from doing something stupid like enjoying the moment. Therefore clears his throat, “You’ve got me at your mercy doll ready to answer my questions?”
“Should I worry what you’ll ask?” Moving from behind him to head back into the kitchen. Grabbing the empty spray bottle to fill with warm water and head back out.
Eyes close with the first spritz of water, chin dropping to chest as you work to wet his hair. “Why?”
“Why what?” Knowing what he’s asking, your distracted for a moment putting the spray bottle’s trigger through a belt loop incase its needed once your satisfied with the wetness of his hair. “I’ll need more specifics than just why. Why’s the sky blue? Why’s it so damn hot? So many why questions you gotta stop wasting your breath Buck.”
“Cheeky doll very cheeky you know damn well what I mean,” keeping his head still to prevent you from severing an ear.
Smirking, setting to work on trimming up the top back portion of his head, trying to keep from childishly making faces. “Sure don’t Sarge.”
Groan slipping passed before he’s able to trap and swallow the sound at the off handed use of his military rank. Wondering which deity had it out for his ass today. Cursing the fact he’s let you so close to breath in the flowery scent of your body. Gentle use of those skilled fingers through his hair not making things any better for the growing problem tenting his jeans. Returning to himself when you move to his left shortening the hair over his ear. “Why’d you stay with us? I thought,” remembering those painful words back in Madripoor. “I thought you had a happy life to go back to.”
“Ear hustling Barnes?” Switching sides and glancing down with a raised brow you know he doesn’t see.
Looking up to try and catch your eye your focus on cutting his hair makes the attempt impossible. So he settles on, “Don’t know what you mean doll. Just asking a question,” trying to hold the shiver at bay when your fingers brush over the shell of his ear.
“Since your asking it means you didn’t hear everything Sam and I talked about,” thankful that’s the case or things would get a whole lot complicated. “I lied.”
Head whipping to the side so quickly you fear he’s damaged his neck with the wince taking over his handsome features. “Lied why?”
“Reasons,” ‘Ones I won’t tell you James,’ speaking the last words in your mind, careful probing fingers check for anything popped out. Garnering a hiss of pain when you’ve found the break in his clavicle. “What did you break besides the hamster running your wheel brain?”
Bitting off the curse as pain flared over his right side. Gritting out, “Clavicle, dislocated shoulder, fractured radius, you can see the cuts and bruises so take it a little easy on this old man.”
“How… Why did you get captured?” Worry fights fear both dance with anger marching through your veins as a Thanksgiving Day parade band would down the streets of New York City. The very thought of both your men hurt and so far away from home torn a hole in your heart. Thoughts you try to push away and focus on the job of cutting Bucky’s hair.
Finishing up what you could on the back of his head, Bucky feels you come around to the front. Knees spread to accommodate your body, closing his eyes to keep from staring at your breasts. Licking suddenly dry lips with having you extra close, he tries to gather an answer to your question. “We needed an in so I made a decision.”
“One I’m sure Sam disagreed on,” carding your fingers through the top, snipping pieces checking length. Jealous over how soft his hair feels between your digits. Woodsy pine scent reaching your nose that twitches in pleasure at the fragrance matching what you always thought he’d smell like.
“Yeah well we ran out of time doll. Couldn’t let what remains of LAF get away,” eyes quickly open only to slam shut again with having you still too near for his own good.
Every brush of your fingers, thighs brushing against his with every move, your flowery scent wrapping around his heart to squeeze tight. Breath punched from his lungs when your knee makes slight contact with his erection. Shooting pleasurable fireworks off behind his closed lids. Wishing for your hands on his body, wondering what they’d feel like over bare skin. If you’d shy away from the scars littering his flesh or… he wouldn’t, didn’t need to think about the alternative.
Unsure why he gasped you move from between his legs and look upon his face confused as to his ridge posture eyes held tightly closed. Insecurities rushing through your mind, setting up shop to remind you no man let alone someone as handsome as Bucky would ever want to look at you. Shoving back those thoughts to ask, “You okay Bucky?”
“Fucking fabulous doll,” bitting out the words while trying to reign in the need to grab hold of your hips, bringing you back against him. Wanting to find out if you’d fit as good or better than what he’s imagined during those dream filled nights he doesn’t talk about with anyone. “Finished?” Praying you’ll say yes, the temptation becoming almost unbearable.
Unconvinced by his words but pushes that aside and stepping farther back to round him, grabbing up the trimmer on the way with a numbered comb. “Almost but then I still have your beard to do.”
“Fuck,” low gravely voice intones the single word hoping you’ve not heard and cursing the heaven for this test of his will and desires. In another life Bucky wouldn’t have hesitated to ask you out, wine and dine with dancing till midnight. Taking you home with a simple kiss of promise with more to come. But he’s different now and you don’t deserve to have a broken man on your hands.
Swallowing harshly to cover your growing need to escape and bury yourself in another program or book to distract from those awful thoughts running around in your mind. Replaying all the brush offs and look aways as rejection shattering your heart. Pushing you to finish his new hair cut that much quicker. “Done, now how short you want your beard?”
“Gone,” knowing exactly what he’s saying and damning himself to the torture of a different kind.
Coming back in front of him, you slip between his parted knees so easily a thought you try to push away while switching the trimmer combs and flicking the on button. Carefully cupping his left cheek while shortening the right for a closer shave once your done. “Surely you didn’t just let them capture you.” Returning to a safer subject other than how good his bearded jaw felt in your warm palm. Wondering how it’d feel in other places.
“Offered myself up for a little bloody torture and a few broken bones. I’m here to tell the tale instead of those guys Y/N. They're off the streets and we have the information needed to finish taking down LAF.” Teeth gritting to keep from rubbing his jaw into your palm, from turning to kiss the center and devour you with his mouth.
Pausing a moment, “But you could’ve gotten killed James.” Sorrow coloring the cadence of your tone, eyes filled with fear at what could’ve happened. “You should’ve called me, I could’ve helped.”
Heart stopping, never had you spoken his first name, always Bucky or Buck, Barnes when your angry but never James. Opening his darken cerulean orbs breath trapped somewhere between lungs and mouth at the sorrow written deep in those eyes he never could not stare into. Heart hammering back to life with the subtle brushing of your fingers over his cheek, “Would it have matter?”
Confusion tips your head to the side, “What you dying or me helping?”
“Dying,” single word dropped like a bomb destroying everything in the path.
“James,” softly spoken with so much emotion held within the countenance of your features. Watching the ghosts float through those beautiful cerulean eyes, memories of a time he couldn’t control, of deeds done to people who didn’t deserve the pain and death he dealt out as the Fist of Hydra. Tears gloss over your eyes once again trying to blink them away to keep them from clogging your emotions filled throat. “It matter’s Barnes, matters to a lot of people you’re just too stubborn to realize that.” Shaking your head to clear the fog and get back to work.
Speechless Bucky just sits there letting you finish up trimmer the hair away as if trying to erase the past months, the torture he let happen with no regard to his personal well being. During this time your words chase around his mind, combined with Sam’s out right demand of him to never put himself in harms way like that again. Adding more questions added than any true answers. Delicate fingers brush over trimmed facial hair bringing him back to the present right as you move to take the barber’s cape from around his neck. Missing the warmth of your touch, heat radiating from your body, your scent filling his nose and making him drunk on you.
Folding the cape to drape over your arm, “I’ll shave you as well come back inside.” Voice slightly rough with unshed tears avoiding looking directly at Bucky and missing the longing written in the ocean pools. Mistaking his lack of response for rejection of your words and feelings. You enter the house placing the small hand load down and moving a chair over towards the sink. Returning to grab up the shaving cream and razor, pulling a fresh wash cloth from the draw by the sink too wet it hot.
“You don’t have to,” entering and closing the back door with the heel of his boot. Bucky leans against the counter watching you with a closed expression. Pain dull but still worming its way through his veins along with so many thoughts.
Glancing his way, “I know,” motioning with a wave of your hand, “but if I don’t that beard’ll come back in short order and we’ll have to do this all over again.” Going for playful to ease the tension built from the lingering words of out on the porch, “Bring your ass over here Buck.”
Your change in mood has a confused frown pulling his mouth down but complies with the order. Taking up the seat with spread legs and turned up face watching you wring out the wash cloth. Using your elbow and tipping his head back to gently place the hot cloth around what’s left of his beard to soften the hair and wake up the pores. Catching the small muffled groan, “To hot?”
“No, perfect,” faintly hearing the two simple words you grab up the shaving cream to put a generous amount in your palm before pulling the quickly cooling cloth from his face. Tossing it towards the sink and applying a layer of cream to his skin. Left overs rinsed from your hands quickly before drying and grasping the razor with steady hands. “Just a little off the top if you please,” boyish smirk slips over his lips tipping cream covered cheeks up while trying to be funny.
Eyes rolling, “To late for that one top’s already taken care of.” Using the pad of your thumb to push the skin of his cheek taunt. Carefully dragging the razor over his flesh intending to keep your gaze directed towards working the blade over his check. However, you’re unable to do so while cleaning the razor as your eyes dart up catching the fact Bucky’s gaze firmly rests on your face. Heat blooming across your body, eyes drop back to his cheek intent on getting finished quickly to avoid any farther embarrassment.
Meanwhile Bucky maps every feature of your face, the slant of your nose, set of your eyes, cupids bow of your top lip. Visions of drawing the plump flesh in for a bite and pull before letting go with a wet pop, filter through his mind. Finding himself in a rather precarious predicament, thighs spread to accommodate your body, his palms itch to grasp and tug you into his lap. Bitting back a moan each touch brings, the gentleness tearing a new hole in armored covered heart. Wanting to keep you out but finding it harder to do every time you show the kindness his life lacked for decades.
Minds eye drawing the curves of your cheeks, lips twitching to caress, fingers tapping trapped in plaster and cloth against his body. Wanting to brush his knuckles over your throat to gently grasp the back of your neck and bring your lips against his for a slow sweet drink of the tempting cavern of your warm mouth. Only snapping back to reality with the soft brush of your fingers along his jawline.
Searching for any hairs left behind, soothingly palming his cheeks with cool hands desperate to taste his skin. Drag your lips over the same spots the razor just graced. Teasing the tip of your tongue along the hard edge of his jaw to place a kiss just below his ear. Tempted to even suck a mark for everyone to see. You swallow harshly removing your hands from his cheeks to rinse and warm up the cloth to clean off any residual shaving cream from his face.
“Finished,” clearing your emotions clogged throat, stepping towards the sink, your profile the only side Bucky sees as you work to clean up the mess.
Feeling rather than hearing him stand heat radiating of his body just a few inches shy of brushing against yours. “Thank you doll,” impulsively leaning forward to brush his lips over your cheek. Lingering longer than he should but unable too stop himself from pressing soft slight chapped lips to the corner of your mouth. “Next time I need shavin’ I know who to come too,” breathing the words before pulling away, taking his leaving quickly to keep from doing something even stupider. Like wrap you up into his arms and actually kissing those pillow soft lips. Backdoor swinging closed a little harder than he meant in his bid to get away from your warmth and tempting body.
Frozen in place, skin tingling from just that slight press while your heart beats almost out of your chest. Pounding against your rib cage so hard fear it’ll crack a rib any second now. White knuckles grip the sinks edge, heat flaring across your body to pool low and throb through your lady parts. Thighs unconsciously rub together needing friction to alleviate the ache growing between your legs.
“Did you cut him or take a hunk of hair out and now he looks like Frankenstein monster?” Teasing tone to his quip, Sam enters the kitchen still staring at the back door. Having watched the exchange from the darkened hallway. Reverting his eyes to your back, taking in the ridge posture of your spine with a slight very subtle shake. “Y/N what’s wrong?” Swiftly coming up behind you, hands gripping your shoulders to turn you around. “Did Bucky say or do something wrong?” Worry creasing his brow the want to hold you close growing with each second your not in his arms.
Looking up into the kind russet eyes flashing with concern and worry, “No,” head shaking, “no he didn’t Sam just…” unable to stop yourself from burying your body against Sam’s firm chest. Trying to figure out how to explain what’s running around in your head. The indecision, thoughts you know shouldn’t roll through your mind doing just that as your arms wind around his trim waist.
“Just what sweetheart?” Wanting to help smooth things over between his two best friends even if it meant swallowing his own feelings.
Keeping your eyes closed, breathing in his cedar wood and citrus scent, burying your nose against his collarbone. Always able to calm the raging storm of emotions boiling through your veins. Confusion setting in with those same tingles you feel when Bucky touches you now dances across your body at the warmth of Sam’s arms cradling you close. Reminding you of earlier when his chest pressed to your back strong hands gently placed on your shoulders. The shiver you suppressed at the touch of both men. At the memory your eyes pop open and you quickly push away from Sam as if he’s burnt you. Needing to escape and figure out what’s going on.
“Nothing, it doesn’t matter, I’m sorry,” feet quickly taking you from the kitchen into the safe arms of your bedroom.
Missing the confused look marring Sam’s face that turns into hurt at the way you’ve shoved him aside. Body sagging against the counter, hand rubbing at the back of his neck searching for what’s changed in such a short period of time.
“Men, blind and just plain foolish,” landing a hard hit to his shoulder, which he rubs to alleviate the pain. Sarah comes up beside her older brother with a raised brow. “Still don’t get it? Searching for exactly why she reacted so strongly? Think Samuel use that big brain you have and actually put it to good use.”
Frown creasing between his eyes and drawing his lips down, “Left behind sucks Sarah that’s all it amounts to. But we… I couldn’t have her along, wouldn’t risk her life like that.”
“Has nothing to do with leaving her home Sam,” giving him a meaningful look that still bewilders him. “Why didn’t you want her along but you took Bucky with you?”
“He’s a super soldier Sar he can take the hits not that I want him hurt either. Shit when he let himself get captured,” moving towards the abandoned chair to plop down heavily. “He scared the living shit outta me, I thought…” hard to swallow the memories of watching those men pulling an unconscious Bucky into a van. Driving off before he could plant a tracker and barely able to get up with bruised ribs making breathing painful. Sam runs a hand over the short hair unsure when things got so complicated between the three of them.
Pulling up a chair in front of Sam, “You’d lost him?” Seeing the nod Sarah’s features softened knowing from the tell’s she picked up watching the three of them for so long. “You love them?”
“What?” Head whipping up so quickly making Sam wince. “Of course I do but not like that I mean their family, you know I’ll do anything to protect my family.”
Hand resting on his shoulder, “You keep telling yourself that big bro maybe one day you’ll actually believe it and able to push those feelings away good enough to keep them at arms length.” Looking up at her, “Just a word of advice,” seeing him nod, “don’t push those emotions away, you deserve that love they both would readily give you.”
Softly closing the door behind you heading towards the ensuite bathroom for a nice cold shower, preforming your nightly routine, and shutting off every light except the one beside your bed. Falling into the soft mattress with your current book keeping you company for the rest of the night. Eyes start to droop, words blur and you read the same sentence half a dozen times. Book falling against your chest as a yawn takes over your features.
Body stretching out against cool sheets jumping when a soft knock echos around your room, eyes darting towards the clock to see its just a little passed mid night. Slowly getting out of bed, pulling the extra long dark blue with little pink flowers dotting the sleep shirt down to cover your ass and thighs. Thinking its Sarah checking on you, eyes shocked wide with the small crack you open the door to spy Bucky standing there fidgeting.
“Everything all right Buck?” Opening the door wider to lean against the casing arms crossed just under your breasts.
Swallowing, glancing from your eyes to lips repeatedly. Trying to form the words he wants to speak when the decision makes itself clear and Bucky surges forward. Gently wrapping vibranium fingers around the back of your neck and bragging you against his strong chest. Slanting his lips against yours, nipping your bottom lip to make you gasp and slipping his eager tongue passed into the warm depths of your mouth. Leading the kiss and praying he’s not wrong.
Rewarded by your arms winding around his neck careful of his injures. Fingers tugging at the now shorten strands thanks to your expect hands. Garnering a low moan from the depths of his chest, one that rambles with a pleased hum as you return the kiss. Tangling your tongues together making nothing soft nor gentle about this melding of mouths. Only breaking apart for both of you to gasp for air.
“No, nothing’s all right doll. I can’t stop thinking about you,” resting your foreheads together sharing common air. Fingers at the base of your skull massaging the tension with surprisingly easy pressure. “I’d done fighting, done pushing you away, I need you Y/N.”
“James?” Lips tingling from a kiss you’ve only dreamt about as confusion marring your tone, eyes blinking a few times to make sure you’ve pushed the sleepy haze from your mind.
Soft groan issues at hearing you whisper just first name, hand slipping down to wrap around your waist and pull your taut to his body. “If…” trying to push the next words past his lips, “if you don’t want…”
“Us, we need to know now sweetheart. We won’t push you into anything you don’t want,” Sam’s voice full of desire and longing cuts across Bucky’s for a moment.
Making you look up from eyes locked with Bucky to stare at Sam trying to process his words, the look in those beautiful russet eyes you can’t pull yours away from. Till Bucky presses a kiss to just below your ear, “We know it’s a lot to take in doll and you can say no…”
“I,” gulping like a fish out of water, heat thumping through your veins at the unspoken promise both sets of eyes show. “I don’t know what to say.”
Stepping forward to push you back a step so Sam can fully enter your bedroom and close the door. He comes behind you sandwiching your body between two walls of muscle and masculine warmth. Pressing a kiss to the opposite cheek, lips brushing over the shell of your ear, “There’s no going back sweetheart you’re ours if you say yes. But if the answer is no I’m not going to lie things will change. Awkward as hell yes especially at first but I,” Bucky clears his throat to which Sam nods, “we would work through that with you. Loosing your friendship can’t happen no matter what.”
Removing yourself from between their warm bodies to collapse at the end of the bed, head in your hands. Mind so confused, a jumbled mix of desire and lust touched with a heavy dose of love that scares the living shit outta you. Feeling the bed dip on either side, removing your hands to glance at both men. Seeing the reassurance in those cerulean and russet orbs you swallow to wet your parched throat. Gaining strength to finally speak, “I don’t want to loose either of you,” looking between both men. Taking each hand within your own, “But this last mission taught me I don’t want to deny my feelings any longer.”
“What feelings doll?” Giving your hand an encouraging squeeze.
Looking into Bucky’s cerulean eyes, “I’m in love with both of you.” Switching to Sam’s russet orbs seeing the blatant want shining only boosts your confidence to lean over. Cupping his jaw and bringing your lips against his. Different from the kiss you shared with Bucky. Who’s bottom lip begs for a nibbling, Sam’s fuller lips press against your own in tender caresses.
Gentler too, a soft slant of his mouth against yours, pressing twice at different angles before tracing over your bottom lip. Gaining entrance on a sigh of need to check in with your tongue before tangling together. Heated palm cupping your cheek, thumb brushing over the apple twice while he artfully pillages your mouth. Drawing out a low moan squeak following when a set of lips slide over the side of your neck nibbling a short path to suck a mark behind your ear. Making you weak and boneless against Sam, who releases your cheek and hand to grip your hips, having you straddle his thighs.
Kiss breaking for air, “I’m to heavy Sam, your hip.”
“You’re prefect baby girl no arguing understand?” Cupping your ass in both hands to roll your hips against the hard bulge of his erection. Teeth gritting at how good you feel in his arms, the damp heat of your core only serving to make him grow harder with each brush against your cloth covered pussy. Sam reclaims your mouth, this kiss much different. Desperate and demanding taking no prisoners this time as he immediately slips his tongue back into your mouth. Pulling a groan from deep within your chest, arms going around his neck to help move your body against his. The delicious friction sending jolts of pleasure radiating out over your body, clit throbbing with a need you’ve never felt before.
Hissing at the cool sensations of Bucky’s vibranium fingers drawing circles across your back. Pushing your sleep shirt off your body arms raising, breaking the kiss to accomplish the task. Looking over your shoulder at the bare chested Barnes, mouth salivating at the sight eager to touch and kiss every inch. Brought back to Sam with the heat of his mouth connecting to your pulse, adding his own mark to your body while his callused fingers dances across your back.
Cursing his rotten luck for not having use of one hand, Bucky steps forward lowering to his knees carefully. Brushing his lips along your spine while cool alloyed fingers sweep around your body between you and Sam to trace a line between your breasts. Head dropping back to Bucky’s shoulder and baring your breasts to Sam’s hungry glaze and Bucky’s questing fingers.
“So beautiful,” words whispered reverently from Sam’s lips against the damp column of your throat. Mouth tasting each inch of your skin he can reach. Till moist heat circles your nipple, wet tip of his tongue coming out to flick the tightly budded peak before sucking harshly. In contrast to the cool patterns Bucky draws, taking the time to tug before pinching just hard enough that your back arches into Sam’s mouth.
Pushing into Bucky at your back a whimper parting your gasping lips. Needing more of both men surrounding you, slick coating your trembling thighs as you clinch around nothing. Dragging a whine of desperation from you soul,“Please,” single word escaping your mouth.
“What doll? What do you want?” Drawing his lips up to your ear, nipping the lobe bringing it between his teeth giving a sharp bite at the same time Sam flicks his tongue over your nipple.
Letting go with a wet pop, smiling at the whine exiting your heaving chest, “I think out girl needs more Buck. Any thoughts on how to please her?” Brow wiggling over your shoulder at Bucky who just smirks.
Fingers sliding down then under the band of your panties to find you soaked and pulsing. Cool metal meeting heated flesh makes you jolt in Sam’s arms. Grinding down into those wonderful fingers and against the thick ridge of Sam’s cock.
“Don’t stop please,” gasping head lolling back, your eyes close as sensations crash through your veins. Tight coil starting to form with just the brush of his fingers.
Maneuvering closer to slip two fingers into your clinching channel. Deep groan vibrating through his chest and into your back, “Fuck Sam she’s tight and so wet for us. I bet she tastes just as good as she feels.” Rocking your hips, fucking his fingers desperate for that high traveling up from the bottom of your spine. Tickling your tummy with jolts of pleasure only to have it diminish when Bucky pulls his fingers out.
Frustrated whine leaving your lips only to choke on air when Bucky offers one of the fingers perviously buried inside your cunt to Sam. Who doesn’t hesitate to wrap his lips around the single digit, groaning at the very taste of your essence. Circling the tip with his tongue, making sure to clear every drop off while keeping eye contact with Bucky. Mimicking with his mouth how he’d suck Bucky’s cock, garnering a growl from deep within his chest. Letting go with a smirk, “Even better Buck and I bet from the source it’s simply heaven.”
“Only way to find out,” answering grin firmly in place he raises from the floor. Helping you stand on shaky legs turning you to face him. Capturing your lips in an open mouth kiss, flicking his tongue against yours, teasing your bottom lip and drawing out another frustrated groan making him chuckle. “Don’t worry doll we promise you won’t go unsatisfied we’re going to take care of your every need.”
“Don’t tease her Buck it’s not fair,” glint of mischief sparking through those russet eyes that only Bucky catches since your still face him. Sam comes up behind to pressing his bare chest against your back, hands resting on your hips, tugging and letting the band of your panties snap back against your skin. “You can still say no.”
Wiggling back against Sam then pressing forward to feel the hard line of Bucky’s erection against your lower tummy. Knowing why he’s asking, seeing the same sentiment mirrored in Bucky’s eyes that warms your heart filling with love for both men. “Now who’s teasing Samuel,” reaching behind you to slide your palm over his ridged cock giving a squeeze at the same time you palm Bucky. “I’m sure my loves,” enjoying the answering growls from both men. Before another word leaves your lips Sam tugs down your panties letting them pool at your feet as Bucky moves you towards the bed.
Swiping the book from the mattress to lay on the nightstand, smile on his lips at finding the well loved copy of The Fellowship of the Ring. Bringing you to sit then lay back against the cool sheets, trailing his vibranium fingers from your cheek down between your breasts. Circling each nipple, giving the right a light pinch that has your back arching and a gasp existing your paired lips. Distracted till Sam gently grips your left ankle, spreading you open to slide between your legs. Pressing kisses alone the inside of your leg towards your thigh. Soft bread tickling your skin making giggles erupt from your mouth.
“I think she likes that Sam,” the comment spoken against your ear. Placing a kiss to your cheek, “Have to remember to let my own beard grow back out.”
Whimpering softly at the thought one hand fisting the sheets as Sam draws his tongue over the crease between thigh and groin. Purposefully avoiding the spot you want him most, “Payback is a bitch boys,” words growled out right as Bucky envelopes your left nipple into the heat of his mouth.
“Teasing half the fun sweetheart have patience,” looking up from between your legs. Stiffen tongue drawing up from your entrance to clit, circling the little throbbing nub and making your back arch, gasping for air.
“Fuck,” single word breathed from deep within your body. Sweat starting to bead across your forehead. Head tossed back into the pillow free hand carding through Bucky’s chestnut hair tugging the strands harshly till he lets your breast go with a wet pop. You guide his mouth up to yours, demandingly taking the kiss over, slipping your tongue into his mouth this time. Swallowing your moans of delight with each thrust of his tongue. Matching the pace Sam sets against your dripping cunt.
Rutting into the mattress to find the prefect friction hoping to ease for a moment the throbbing of his cock. “Stop stealing all those pretty noises Barnes I wanna hear our girl,” reaching up to smack the other mans thigh hard enough to break the two of you apart.
“Sorry not sorry,” giving him a smirk while licking his lips from the heated kiss.
Filing away the fact Bucky knows what means only to have any thought fly from your mind as two thick fingers enter your quivering channel. Slowly thrusting, his mouth suctioned onto your clit, drawing little short patterns making your thighs shake around his head. Slacking off to lazily place kisses over those thighs but still pumping his fingers, crooking them into a come hither motion to brush over that special spongy spot.
Blooming stars behind your tightly closed eyes, “Watch him doll, see how much you loves devouring that pretty cunt.” Voice rough with arousal against your ear, Bucky’s metal fingers dancing over your chest only adding to your heighten state of desire.
At his command you eyes open to lock with Sam’s passion blown blacken eyes. Moaning at the picture he presents you with, panting breath as you keep drawing closer to your orgasm. Only to have Sam back off creating frustrating tension in your body. Gritting out, “I’m going to die if you don’t let me cum.”
Smirk showing in those beloved eyes as he doubles down on your clit. Lips puffy but forming a perfect O too suction and flick his tongue over the engorged nerve bundle. Fingers, third added to stretch you open and picking the pace up as your mouth drops wide in a scream Bucky devours with a deep kiss. To keep from waking the kids or Sarah, his own body on fire with a need to have you both.
Tingles quickly dancing through your veins, breath panting as you break from Bucky’s mouth, one hand gripping the sheets below the other still buried in his hair. Body on fire as you near that perfect orgasm Sam’s intent on giving you.
Denial’s not just a river in Egypt as your eyes pop open at the knock on your door. Reminiscent of what your sluggish brain comes to understand as just a very vivid dream. One that makes your heart drop with the book that’d lay on your chest now face down on the carpeted floor. You stand checking the time of mid night before heading to the door and finding Sarah on the other side with ice cream in hand.
“Figured you might need some cheering up,” letting her in and taking the bowl of your favorite ice cream.
Vivid dream lingering though you don’t share feeling a TMI moment she doesn’t and most likely wouldn’t want to know about her big brother. You steer the topics away from the non existent love life to plans for tomorrow and the coming weekend.
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Could you please do an angst headcannon reaction for the undateables reacting to a mc who is in love with Simeon. Mc has committed horrible sins in the past, because of that they don't pursue a relationship. Mc thinks they don't deserve it and thinks the angels would hate them if they found out. Mc wants to become a better person but thinks their is too much blood on their hands for it to be possible. So they avoid Simeon for a while before everyone finds out and Simeon confronts mc. Then mc thells them everything.
I ended up rambling _(._.)_, but I was inspired by the song love like you from Steven universe. Especially the line "I always thought I might be bad now I'm sure that it's true, cuz I think your so good and I'm nothing like you" I really like the song because it's pretty but I that think it's sad at the same time. You can include the somf if you'd like.
[Sinful!McxUndatables]angst HC Reaction
Author note: This is my first angst post so I hope this is ok.
Scenario: Mc who has committed many sins falls for Simeon who she thinks she isn’t good enough for him.
From the day Mc stepped into the Devildom itself, Simeon had stood out upon the rest. He was always so kind, gentle, and caring, living up to his title as an angel; both figuratively and literally.￼ ￼ But there was no way Mc could be with him, no way. He only acts nice to them just to seem polite, he couldn’t never like Mc.
In all Mc’s short years of living compared to the ￼immortals they’ve come to know over the past months, they’ve done horrible things in their life. Heinous crimes￼￼, they’ve even been involved in a murder. Yes, it wasn’t their fault in full but they still aloud something like that to happen.
If the angel would find out about Mc’s past, no, if Simeon founds out about Mc’s past he’ll hate them for sure. No doubt about that. Mc didn’t deserve his kind words or gesture, all of those we’re just fake, trying to make some sort good impression on Lord Diavolo.
Over the past month since Mc’s feelings has grown stronger for the angel, Mc promised to themselves that they’ll stay away from him all throughout the rest of the exchange program. Others start to take notice though, especially the other exchange students.
As a fellow human as well as the shady sorcerer he is he could tell something was off
￼”I told you Solomon it’s nothing!”
“Something’s on your mind, is it about Simeon?”
This smug man
He knew about your crush on Simeon but he didn’t know why you were avoiding him so much
He would see Simeon try to talk you but you’d push him away
Simeon would have his usual smile fade into a sad one after you leave
Solomon had to push you to tell him about your past
He took it serious
Of course those are serious offences but when you told him how much you wanted to do about anything
But you also told him how you can’t change, that you’re nervous to change
So you rather avoid Simeon
You hated yourself
You thought you were too full of horrible “sin” to ever have an Angel fall for you
BUT Solomon disagreed
He was sad by you comments about yourself
For the first time in forever Solomon gave a genuine smile
He pushed you too go talk to him and stop pushing him away
Solomon also told you to tell Simeon the truth about your past
He thought you and Simeon were cute together
And now with the thought of a pure hearted angel in love with a “sinful” human makes a cute funny picture in Solomons head
He was counting on the two ending up together
Luke was your good friend
Well up until you decided to avoid Simeon
Since Luke was always glued to his angel counterpart he was avoided as well
So he got really sad and upset that you always seemed to avoid him
Luke was the one who got Simeon to go after you more in terms of finding out why you’re avoiding him
Luke really loved being with you (in that brotherly way ofc)
You were pretty nervous to tell Luke since he can usually take things a little far
ESPECIALLY when it has to do with ‘’sin’’
But you figured honesty was the best policy
When you told him his reaction wasn’t the one you quite expected
He was ok with it?
Well not totally ok with it
You didn’t tell him everything
You just told him that you did some very bad things in your past and that your not proud of it
When Luke heard you were willing to change he was ecstatic
He heard from Solomon you had a crush on his fellow angel so he already was on board with plan from the start
￼Commence Operation: get Mc and Simeon together !!
His code name: Hype Chihuahua
He tries to do his best to help you talk to Simeon more
Inviting you over for baking lessons
Anything that could get you guys closer
Luke was very supportive of you and your efforts
He wanted to do his best and help you two
“Simeon likes you too”
“WAIT HE DOES!!!!!”
Luke spilled the beans on his boy
Being the Prince of Devildom as well as the organizer of the whole exchange program he was the first to notice your absence around the other exchange students
He confronted you since he wanted you to have a good experience
He didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable here in the Devildom but what he heard he wasn’t prepared for
“You have a crush on Simeon?”
Honesty this man had no idea what to do
I mean it’s not like something like this has ever happened
A human with an angel
I mean as the future king he had to take in consider the possibility of one of his own with a human
He had to consider the factors of the relationship between an immortal being and one that barely makes it past 100
He wasn’t completely sure but encouraged you to talk to Simeon and not avoid him
He knows about your past from your student file so he understands your worries
Diavolo reassured you that Simeon was a very kind soul and wouldn’t judge you on your past
For a relationship to be good you must full heartedly accept the person right? (A/N: relationship advice from my experiences of reading multitudes of fanfiction!!)
“Simeon is not a judgmental angel, plus you two got along so well before everything”
You felt a little better talking to him
You were scared letting the beans slip like that
You didn’t know if there were any rules you would break in terms of relationships between Simeon and you
You we’re glad that even the Prince of The Devildom was on your sad
But at the same time, it put a lot of pressure on you
This man already knew from Diavolo
He’s every where!
Of course he would hear your conversation with Lord Diavolo
You told him about your past and how you’re worried that it’s not going to work
But he reassured you
The future is a bright one
He really had no say but in his prospective he thinks you and Simeon deserve to be happy
That you deserve to be happy
Barbatos pushed you to start talking to Simeon again
He agrees with Lord Diavolo’ statements
Simeon is the type of person to consider everything about a person before he judges them
“Simeon I really like you but...”
Poor boy was caught so of guard
“You like me?”
Our little angel was so red
“I’m just afraid that you won’t like me because of well me”
“Wait why?” He was really confused
Your literally the reincarnation of an angel
You are the best person he’s ever met, let alone be it a human
“I’ve done some things in the past I’m not proud of, I’ve done horrible things Simeon”
By this time you were crying, pushing this out of you to the man you love was so hard
“Is that why you’ve been pushing me away?” He cups your red cheeks and tries to wipe away your tear
You push away from him
“No you don’t get it, I’ve done some really really horrible things. Sinful things”
Simeon embraces you as you try to weakly hit his chest
“No matter what sins you may have convicted I will always love you, angels always forgive right?”
You start crying as your punches get weaker
“I want to change for you Simeon b-but I just don’t know how?” You sniffle in between words
Simeon separates from you a bit and held your cheek
“Don’t change for me, change for yourself and I’ll help you along the way”
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♡ JORDI - MAROON 5 [ 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂 𝙿𝚃. 𝟸 ]
adult themes / language tw. customize as you need / wish !
ONE LIGHT ( ft. Bantu )
It's a damn dark world but there's one light
Long as I'm with you, then it's alright
It used to feel like life was an endless midnight
Don't even get me started
Ain't nobody want to live in this world today
Gotta make it through and do what ever it takes
How do they get through all this?
Baby, you always save me
Baby, we need to be honest
This is a place that we wanted
I remember back in the day, I was down, you were there for me
I was in the dark, you were shining a light for me
You know I want you
I freaking love her/him
But I know I got my baby, don't need anyone else
Hold me, love when you hold me
You know you’re my only
CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE ( & H.E.R. )
It's been a minute, it's been some time now
I wanna tell you, I need you right now
You can't convince me otherwise
I know I wouldn't be surprised if you tried to convince me otherwise
You know I can't keep waiting for you
Don't get me started, it's not my fault
I don’t care, I can't keep waiting
Don't do this to me
You could make a grown man/woman cry if you ever say goodbye
You're the only hand in my back pocket
Baby, you're the key to my heart, lock it
If you ever left, never unlock it
If my love ain't your love, it's never gonna be nobody's love
I'm never gonna need nobody's love but yours
Never gonna need nobody's touch but yours
If my love ain't your love, then it's nobody's
Only yours, not just anybody's
CAN’T LEAVE YOU ALONE ( ft. Juice WRLD )
I just can't leave you alone
Why can't you just tell me how you're feelin'?
Why can’t you admit it?
I told you everything about me
It's almost like you're pulling me closer to tell me it's over
I know you think that love's temporary
But please don't compare me to anybody else now
Tell me you ain't fallin', but I see you on the way down
We keep coming back for more
So, tell me somethin' about you. Everything you been through
So, what you got to lose?
It could be about the past, or something brand new
(S)he throw the pass to the Devil and I intercept
Have you ever had a make out session with death?
Here’s to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you were here, but you're not
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories of everything we’ve been through
Toast to the ones here today. Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
There's a time that I remember, when I did not know no pain
When I believed in forever, and everything would stay the same
'Cause I can't reach out to call you, but I know I will one day
Everybody hurts sometimes, but everything gon’ be alright
There's a time that I remember when I never felt so lost
When I felt all of the hatred was too powerful to stop
Now my heart feel like an ember and it's lighting up the dark
I'll carry these torches for ya that you know I'll never drop, yeah
And the memories bring back you
BUTTON ( ft. Anuel AA & Tainy )
Come push the button and turn me on
Give me good love, switch the siren on
I got the stars at my feet
I know I'm fallin' too deep
No, it doesn't even matter when I wake up in a cold sweat
Put your hands on my body, I wanna get right in the green light
Come say that you want me now
You wanna love, wanna leave and my heart gets shattered
We melt like fire
LIFESTYLE ( Jason Derulo ft. Adam Levine )
Tell me what you like every night
I know, you got your own, but you could be mine
You 'bout that lifestyle, everybody knows
Diamonds ain't got nothin' on you
Baby, would you stay if I'm broke?
Can't get your lipstick off my collar
You do that thing that keep mе calling you
She won't cry if I don't stay tonight, but I can't say goodbyе
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What was I on in high school writing class?
Here's an old story I found from my high school days. My goodness.
<Insert Title Here> (No, really, that’s the actual title title)
There are very few people who have witnessed what I witnessed. Then again, that’s probably because what I witnessed was in the basement of my own house with the doors locked and the windows shuttered. My story started out one day when I was looking for five pounds of dog food in my basement. Normally I’d be looking for real food, but I had just recently found out that dog food is really tasty, and about twenty times healthier than hot dogs.
After finding the dog food, I headed up the stairs. They were rather rundown, much like my house, but that was because I preferred rundown houses; they’re so much better than elaborately decorated mansions. When I got to the top of the stairs and tried to open the door, I found that it was locked. Also, I have this habit where I continue to walk through doorways, even if I don’t manage to open the door, so I banged my head really hard and went toppling down the stairs. Thankfully, the rotten apple that I had just recently placed at the bottom of the stairs in case I just happened to go toppling down them broke my fall.
After hearing the commotion down in the basement, my girlfriend, Ali, ran down to check on me. Once she was near and asked how I was, I told her I was OK. After we got everything sorted out, I mentioned to her that the basement door automatically locked from the other side, so we were stuck in the basement. I don’t know why I didn’t know that. After all, I had been living there for twenty-seven years, even though I was only sixteen years old.
It was very dark in the basement, so we decided to turn on the Commodore 64 that I just happened to keep down there. The screen gave off quite a bit of light, brightening it enough for us to see. After a quick search, I found the remnants of the rotten apple, the spilled dog food, and a poster of Bryan Adams that I hadn’t move from the wall for as long as I could remember. After calculating the approximate time I went to the basement and what time it was right then, I had concluded that we had been stuck in the basement for three days (The Commodore 64 loaded really slowly).
I was starting to panic, but Ali was staying very calm. I was used to being catered my whole life and getting anything I wanted, but Ali had grown up on her own; therefore, she was very bright, and knew how to act in most situations.
“What are we gonna do?” I panted, “We can’t just stay here forever! We’re gonna be out of rotten apple remnants and dog food soon, and then what?”
“Calm down, calm down,” Ali assured me, “We’re going to get out of here. It’s just a matter of time. Besides, don’t you have a cell phone, Elwood?”
I dug into my coat pocket until I found my cell phone. It was the first cell phone ever made. My father had bought it for me on my 16th birthday. It was the size of a large watermelon, and I loved it so. Unfortunately, it only had enough battery power for one call. My parents were on vacation, so calling them would be useless, and I didn’t really know may other people. After a short while I decided to call my English teacher, Clinton.
I dialed up the number and sent the call. Clinton wasn’t home, but my batteries were almost dead and I couldn’t call anyone else, so I just left a message on his machine. I told him to hurry to my house and open the door to the basement, but not to let it close again, as it automatically shut and locked.
After the phone call I walked over to the window and started looking out. You’d think I’d be able to get through the window, but it was actually underground. I had it there so I could watch worms eating away at the soil. Anyway, after a few hours, I heard the sound of a car engine. I asked Ali what kind of car it was, as she knew a lot of vehicles, and she told me that it was a 1972 Porsche.
That little bit of information relieved me quite a bit; I knew that Clinton drove a 1972 Porsche. The rumbling was getting louder, and definitely a lot closer, so I was sure it was him by then. After a little while longer, a car crashed through the roof of the basement. He was here! Why he didn’t use the door I had no idea, but he was here nonetheless.
“Clinton,” I cheered gleefully, “am I glad to see you here! If you hadn’t gotten here more sooner, then we’d be goners.”
“That’s ‘sooner’, Elwood, not ‘more sooner’,” he corrected. “Now, I came as fast as I could. How do we get out of here?”
“Well, we were hoping that you’d open the door,” Ali stated, “but you didn’t do that, so we’re stuck, I suppose.
Now that there were three of us, the food would be gone much sooner. We had to find a way out. We knew we couldn’t reach the hole that Clinton’s car made, and knocking down the door would be near impossible, since it was made of stainless steel. After a while of loafing, I remembered that I had secret passageways set up in the house in case of emergencies such as getting stuck in the basement with two other people and a 1972 Porsche. I pulled the poster off and stuck it in the trunk of the Porsche. It was important that I did that, as I set a bomb in the poster, and only the trunk of a 1972 Porsche could withstand the blast.
There was a hole behind the poster that led straight outside. We all crawled through and rejoiced by eating cake, drinking iced tea, and painting floobers blue. I’m not exactly sure what a floober is, but I know it was great fun.
To this day I wonder, how was I able to stand up to this life or death situation?
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You made such a complex character out of Alex, I literally can't make up my mind about him. He kinda found his own peace at Imladris, has been enjoying talking with Baranor and Elrond and behaving nice and stuff for months and then with Haldir he's again on his cocky mood :( I just don't knoooooow what to think about him, I really love him as a character.
I can understand why he's like that with Haldir (i guess huh), tho, even if he doesn't want to make Cosima feel sad about his opinion on her staying in Middle-Earth and being with ONE person he couldn't stand from the very beginning lmao so he try to put his "I'm fine I hope you have a good life here with him" mask on when he's talking with her, but with Haldir... oh boy.... now, I guess, he's even more angry at him :( for stealing his bff away from him forever
Though I like him and i can't judge him 👉🏼👈🏼
Okay HOW did I miss this?! Sorry I'm so late in getting back to you!! (Also, I love that you sent me a whole entire essay about ALEX <3)
Yes!!! So Alex really values stability -- it's why he is digging his claws into Cosima and why she was his main friend in his Earth life. Having that one constant (Cosima) allowed him to have stability in his friendships. It's why he wants to get back home (so everything can go back to the way he's used to), and why he slowly chilled out (as you put it "found his own peace" and I LOVE how you phrased that!) in Imladris. He began to find a stable routine there and feel comfortable and grounded. Doing research and trying to learn distracted him from how scared he was and gave him the routine he valued.
So, now that they're back on the unpredictable road where he can't use his coping mechanisms (books, researching, retreating with his safe person -- Cosima), and literally ANYTHING could happen, he's lost all peace. Poor guy is so stressed and scared and is trying to balance that with his inability to understand why Cosima doesn't want the same things as him. He cannot fathom why she would give up her stable Earth life. To him, it doesn't matter that they don't remember much -- Arda is the worse option because of its danger and unpredictability.
Funnily enough -- Alex and Haldir both crave stability. They don't recognize this in the other, though, and see the other as always trying to pull them towards instability, in another direction, but really, they're both just pulling towards their comfort zones (Alex -- to his home, or at the very least, off the dangerous road, and Haldir -- to the safety and security of Lothlorien).
I honestly think if they just got over that, they could realize that they have this huge thing in common and could understand each other better!
But of course it makes it a million times worse that, as far as Alex is concerned, Cosima would go home with him if Haldir wasn't in the picture. He sees Haldir as the obstacle standing in the way of what's best for his best friend, and he's not taking that very well. In all of his memories, he's looking out for Cosima, and it's uncomfortable and stressful for him to have to be passing that torch to someone he doesn't care for. Also, it's hard for him because Cosima clearly doesn't need or want him to look out for her anymore -- they've both grown in different ways since coming to Arda, and it's pulling them farther apart.
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The Sartan on the other worlds told Samah that they were powerless to come to his aid because they themselves were in serious trouble. Samah lied to spare his people-- some of whom had relatives and friends in these other worlds-- the terrible truth.
I think about this tidbit ALL THE FUCKING TIME. So it’s time to talk about my OCs lol.
It never came up in Fragments cos my OCs were already taking up too much screentime, but this idea was an aspect of Frida’s character-- she and her sister lost their parents because they were sent to populate one of the elemental worlds.
(The sister ended up being cut from the fic, but for the record, she was the lady speaking to the Council at the beginning of chapter 9, shortly after Ramu had taken over Orla’s position on the Council. She was part of a group of researchers who were experimenting with forms of magical communication to figure out out what happened in the other worlds without risking sending Sartan through, which Samah vetoed. Actually, the little communication device Frida uses to talk to Sybil in that same chapter was a result of that experimentation! It was a gift from her sister after an argument about why Frida would want to do something as crazy as go be one of the “emissaries” to the mensch. They’re the only family each other has left, after all... The idea was that her sister would have been the “reasonable” one who worried about Frida’s more rebellious attitude with the Council, but the other two Sartan OCs in the fic ended up filling that role for the most part, and the whole thing ended up cut.)
Anyway, this would have come up because originally I was going to include more details about a group of Sartan that had begun splitting off from Samah and Ramu after the Serpent Mage timeline stuff. Frida would have argued against abandoning the mensch to the dragon-snakes, and in response, Samah would have allowed her the chance to stay behind and try to help them if she felt so strongly about it. At this point, her sister would also point out how bad an idea it is to open Death’s Gate for the serpents to enter the other unstable worlds-- after all, the Council has been telling her research group for years that it’s too dangerous to open the gate. And last time she listened to the Council, she was separated from her parents forever, so she decides to join her sister, and several other Sartan would have followed her.
And ultimately Zifnab would have come let these Sartan know that they were needed to help the Patryns fight in the Labyrinth, so everyone would still end up where they needed to be for the finale, and you can see how ultimately this subplot would have overcomplicated a lot of the last section of the fic, haha.
(While I’m talking about those OCs, I think that one of Sybil’s parents was a sibling of Ramu’s who was one of the Sartan sent to infiltrate the Patryns who never returned-- one of the ones that the Sartan assume they were killed but it’s very possible they just joined up with the Patryns, that kind of deal. Bridgit had a fairly large family, but lost most of them-- some before the Sundering, some who just didn’t wake up from the stasis chamber. Family’s important to her! She was one of the first Sartan to have kids in Chelestra... her family had grown so small so quickly...)
Okay I’m done talking about my OCs for a minute I think a;sklfjasdf
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sorry im answering late!!! but here’s a joenicky (and andyquynh side plot) i have been thinking of, and it might be top 3 ideas i have floating around my head for fics. it got long so most of its under a read more.
ok so another idea i have is like. a joenicky get BACK together slow burn relearning each other type of thing w an andyquynh meeting/getting together through joe & nicky plot as well (andy as friends w joe and quynh as friends w nicky). i want to start this one with nicky+quynh running errands together and they run into joe+andy wherever they are and nicky and joe stop dead and just stare at each other and they’re both freaking out bc “it’s YOU i haven’t seen you in forever im maybe definitely still in love with you”. and andy and quynh are both just like “...what is happening with my friends. also hi you’re hot”. so we get that and then joe and nicky both explain their POVs of why they broke up to andy and quynh, and then it progresses w them getting to know each other again as people and friends bc andy and quynh start dating (and the tension and awkwardness that comes with that), and then there’s like the flashback thing where we learn the whole picture of why they broke up and what went down. then of course the resolution where joe and nicky have both grown and learned the other again and they get back together. (detailed outline and ideas under read more!)
the outline is:
- joe and nicky met while they were working in the same building (diff like departments though) and they like kept running into each other in the elevator and someone would hold the door for the other while they were running late and someone saw someone else working super late to meet a deadline and stayed w them until they left so they weren’t alone and telling each other their office gossip. u know the vibes
- and then they start dating and it’s going great and they’re very happy and they move in together and they meet each other’s family and they go on vacations together and they meet each other’s friends. and they’re together for a WHILE, like a long time. i’ve been thinking somewhere in the 6-8 year range but not married, engagement has maybe been brought up once or twice but it’s nbd to them bc they’re happy as things are and they’re good w what they are to each other.
- THEN something happens where joe&nicky have to break up. i haven’t decided if i want to do something that’s out of their control (moving super far for a job while the other has a really good opportunity where they are, an emergency of some kind that takes them away and they don’t know when they’re coming back- something like that) OR if i wanna go down the route of someone messing up somehow and the other breaks up w them. (ngl i do have an idea for this one but it’s VERY heavy and im not sure if im gonna follow through but. i was thinking about it one day and i did write it out w/o writing anything else about the fic and it made me tear up a little so ya know. i have ideas but we’ll see)
- but anyways there is a joenicky breakup. and they go there separate ways and it’s like “the one that got away”, “i see you in everything i see and everywhere i go and everyone i meet”, “i get drunk and think about calling you sometimes bc i still have your number memorized”, “i always wonder what would have happened with us if things had just gone differently”, “whenever i see something that reminds me of you i have to force myself not to send you a text”. it’s like that and it’s a bummer all around bc they were obv in love and sometimes people break up bc things just don’t work out or something happens but that doesn’t mean there isn’t love
- then they see each other as described above. im thinking like 5-7 years have passed of not seeing each other/no contact.
- little moments from this idea that keep popping into my head:
- andy and quynh invite joe and nicky both to the beach bc they’re friendly enough at this point that it won’t be weird, and there’s a little moment between joe and nicky where they’re both sitting in the sand next to each other and they’re watching the sunset probably and it’s quiet and nicky whispers “do you know what im thinking of?” (bc this is a big risk for nicky. he treasures his new friendship w joe and wouldn’t risk anything that would have joe out of his life again, but what is he if he isn’t honest with his thoughts. especially around joe.) and chances a glance at joe to find joe already looking at him w a fond teasing smile and joe says “yes. but i’d like to hear you say it anyways.” and nicky laughs honestly and genuinely w joe for the first time in what feels like FOREVER and it feels so good that he doesn’t hesitate to say “malta. our fourth anniversary vacation, when we were on the beach and-“, and joe cuts him off to finish the memory, “-and we spent all day swimming and laying around and doing mindless activities bc we didn’t want to leave”. something something nicky blushes but he blames it on the sun, something something joe digging his toes into the sand to avoid eye contact when he tells nicky he still thinks of that sometimes, something something nicky locking his entire body so he doesn’t reach for joe to comfort him when he tells joe he still thinks about it too. (there is a sad version of this moment but again. it’s heavy)
- an awkward moment between joe and nicky where joe and nicky are hanging out w friends there probably and it’s nice to be around each other again but it’s low pressure bc there’s other people around. and joe accidentally calls nicky “babe” or some other pet name bc it was his habit for YEARS and then he hides out for the rest of the night. as i type this im imagining it’s like a party or something of a mutual friend so there are people to hide with and places to escape to. ofc they find each other again bc nicky KNOWS joe and knows where he would hide out and who his close friends are from this group, and nicky is flustered and stumbling over his words but he tells joe it’s fine, they don’t need to make it into a thing. nicky doesn’t want anything to mess up what they have going again- as friends. joe eyes him for a moment and then he nods and claps nicky on the shoulder and walks away. nicky doesn’t seek him out the rest of the night, just gives him his space. nicky ignores and shoves down the part of him that loves the fact that joe called him babe, that joe would even have that on his mind to let slip so many years after they broke up.
- either joe or nicky seeing the other on a date and being irrationally jealous and doing a terrible job of hiding it. OR mistaking seeing them out with a friend as a date and being jealous and doing a bad job at hiding it. im imaging this toward the middle of the fic where things are close to being normal friends vibes but there’s still one last hoop to jump through to get to that stage. so it’s like awkward but joe and nicky are trying to pretend it’s not bc why would it be, they’re sorta friends and everything is in the past (it’s not). and the date or friend is just standing there watching joe and nicky ‘talk’ and does the awkward thumb behind the shoulder gesture for ‘im gonna go now. sorry not sorry.’ and then there’s a whole thing of like oh great u made my date/friend leave, thanks a lot. (great potential i think for it to be a friend and either joe or nicky being like “thanks a lot, u made my friend uncomfortable” and storming off and leaving the other to sit with the knowledge of it being a friend and then the second wave of “oh im fucked aren’t i”)
- joe gushing to andy about nicky/crying about why they broke up and how he misses nicky is something that can actually be so personal. and also vice versa with nicky and quynh
- joe and/or nicky learning something new about the other is something i am a sucker for with this idea. like dating someone for years and years and then u meet up w them again by random chance and learning that they actually hate a food they said they love or a movie or whatever just bc they other loved it SO much and didn’t want to admit that they hated it. (but then also maybe they grew to love it just a little. bc u loved it so much.)
- so then obv there is the tense moment where joe and nicky could either explain everything and get back together or just say “forget it” and live the rest of their life as friends. they both get to say their piece about why things went down the way they did, how they didn’t want to break up but it’s what happened (or what had to happen if were taking the sad heavy route), how they’re different people now but they’ve spent the last however many months getting to know the other again, how they didn’t think it would be possible to fall in love with the other again, how it was heart breaking and terrible but lovely and eye opening to fall in love with the same person all over again. then it’s the soul changing world spinning kiss where they wrap their arms around each other and never want to let go. cue forehead rest and some crying and whispered i love yous bc it still doesn’t feel real, it can’t be real, bc they’ve wanted this for longer than they’ve been willing to admit to anyone and themselves and now they have it again and it’s perfect but there is still work to be done. but it’s perfect bc it’s them. it’s joe and nicky.
- then the big (not so surprising in reality bc people have eyes) reveal to andy and quynh, and to joe and nicky’s families and they’re ofc all happy and pleased and excited for them.
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Squeezing Levi’s cheeks
(After the war)
(In this version he’s not in a wheel chair)
It was a cold spring morning, you and Levi slept in the same bed, you woke up first this time surprisingly, you didn’t notice at first but then you saw the peaceful look on his face for the first time he was sort of snoring, you thought it was adorable to see a calm side of Levi
You looked at his messy fluffy black raven hair, the under bags of his eyes sort of faded away, his non- serious expression, the way he is holding your waist tightly like you were going to go forever, the way his mouth is slightly open…most of all his chubby cheeks that squished together against the pillow he’s sleeping on, that was the most adorable thing
You were wishing for death… you decided it was a good idea to squeeze his cheeks, , he never lets you squeeze his face, one time you tried touching his cheek and he grabbed your arm and glared at you, but guess what he’s asleep so you think your powerful not like Humanity’s strongest soldier 😜 First you poked them and there ridiculously soft? Like super soft then you were tempted you told yourself not to but the little voice in your head said no❤️, so you started to touch them and squeeze them you forgot how much pressure you were using with your hands that you heard a little angry grunt from Levi, you stopped for a few seconds to see if he was awake but nope he went back to sleep, you decided to pat and massage his face and pinch his cheeks… suddenly you felt a tight grip on your hand then he pinned you on the bed “oi why are you touching my face?” He said with pinched red cheeks, you couldn’t help but laugh at how cute he is “pffft I’m so sorry darling” you said trying to hold in your laugh, usually by now he would say something but he just left the bedroom … “shit is he mad at me?” You said worried but still laughing
You left the bedroom and noticed that he locked the bathroom door, you knocked the door “Levi I need to take a shower can you open up?” You said but he didn’t answer so you tried again “Levi I need to pee open upppp” you said worried, he unlocked the bathroom door and left, weird he would usually stay in there with you and brush his teeth I guess he isn’t?
***Meanwhile when Levi was in the bathroom***
“Am I getting fat?” Levi said to himself worried, Levi is really insecure of his face fat and he didn’t want you to touch his face because of that, he is sort of angry at you but worried that your going to call him ugly because of his face fat so he examined his face
***mean while on your end***
He left the house, and didn’t even say goodbye to you? Was he that angry at you? You feel really guilty right now, you tried finding Levi and found him working out doing push-ups, “babe what are you doing?” You said going closer to him, “just working out” he said “don’t overwork yourself Levi” you said sitting down watching him do push-ups “I’m sorry for pinching your cheeks… I thought you looked adorable” you said feeling guilty because it feels like he’s angry at you, he stopped working out after the war and all of the sudden he’s working out? That was really strange “You think I’m cute?” He said looking at you finish doing his push-ups “yeah I think your adorable” you said trying to make him not mad at you “I’m not hot?” He said, which made you giggle “Levi why are you acting strange today?” You said concerned because he never acts like this “I’m just working out because I think I’ve grown some face fat” he said rolling his eyes at you “Levi is this because of what I did to you in the morning? I think it’s cute not seeing a serious side of you and your face is adorable and your cheeks are soft” you said being honest “that’s creepy y/n” he said with cheeks flustered “SEE you look adorable” you said enthusiastic “shut up idiot” he said patting your head really hard with his face really red on what you said
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"perhaps its time you start searching for the next." his laugh is still warm, low but much more rumbled than it had been decades ago when he became the champion of the unseelie king. his hand brushes over a dark scruffed beard now tinged with faint hints of grey. every year he saw more and more signs of his ever frail humanity peeking through.
every year he saw the shine of golden brown hair dull. he lost a bit of cleverness. he lost a bit of strength. he wondered if he'd lose a bit of love from his fae lover as novelty of him would fade. so he teased the king with every noticed change.
a creak in bones. a gentle groan as he got up and it wasn't as fluid as before though dark eyes shimmered with mirth and tiredness. "someone younger. with more life than me. i wouldn't blame you." lips pulled into a half smirk before falling to a softer smile. "you'll be bored of me soon enough. " and soon enough he'd disappear.....
In the blink of an eye, Stefan has grown old. Whitish-grey frosts his beard and hair. His once-strong arms atrophy. Pain shoots through his bones and even Faerie salves can only do so much to comfort him.
And Finnegan stays the same, King of the Winter Court, first among Unseelie, all silvers and golds; forever young and beautiful.
But isn’t mortality beautiful? The frailty of humanity, the fleetingness of their lives? The way they change and do not return as flowers do after the snowmelt? The way that, despite it all, Stefan’s eyes are the same as - better than - before? They glint with mirth and understanding a younger Stefan’s never did.As his champion approaches the throne, Finnegan watches him still with the same lust, the same love he always has. The Faerie King is unchanging, unrelenting, unwilling to bow to time. Why should he want a younger lover when he still has Stefan?
“Oh darling,” he purrs, curling his fingers in Stefan’s beard to tug him closer by the jaw. “If I chose a new champion, you’d be obligated to compete and, in my mind, there is no competition.”
He eases Stefan into his lap and holds him close so he can feel his heartbeat and reassure himself Time has not yet stolen Stefan from him. He disguises the motion as slicking his hand down Stefan’s shirtfront, but he knows his hand lingers on Stefan’s heart for a few beats too long. He pulls Stefan down for a greedy kiss. Everything Finnegan does is greedy; it is his birthright. The kiss is deep, searing, and leaves Finnegan with a toothy smirk.
“I think you’ve still plenty of life in you, my love. Why should I ever tire of you?”
I'll break you long before I tire of you, my love. That is the way of things. I will break you and you will thank me with your every, last breath.
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