#but when wammy asked if he was sure he wanted to know about him

[jessaerys]

i love thinking about death note rammys like the L backstory one-shot tells us he was a little feral demon that required constant enrichment to keep him from mayhem and destruction and violence and at age like seven he asked for a computer (asked for it, allegedly nobody planted the idea in him. we dont even have time to unpack that) and then fucking. cracked the stock market and thats why the wammy, uh, foundation, is so wealthy

and then when that gets boring he becomes a detective because solving crimes was better enrichment. like it's about that deep. and listen im not an L specialist i'm sure a lot more depth can be read into his character idk. i just got here. but regardless that's the reason he gives watari which poses the questions --

why, then, would he need a successor? who built the L legend, and what was the purpose? was it watari? did he want legacy? generational wealth? power? glory? why not stick with one weirdo golden ticket orphan and call it a day ?

why were they running this unbelievably unethical indoctrination program where they psychologically tortured orphans for years into believing being L's successor was the height of human achievement and the only meaning to their lives?

L looms so large and transcendental and godlike over mello's and near's entire existence (and we can extrapolate other children at wammys) to the point that it costs them both their life. mello's dead, near has been devoured by the role of L. and he was just some guy. literally some guy they heard a lot of stories about. they were basically raised to have intense chronic second child syndrome

anyway i know the reason is because death note was written basically by the seat of ohba's pants and none of this was considered (my favourite tidbit of information is that mello wouldnt have died if the artist had told him he was fun to draw) but i'm gonna steal it and run with it and elevate the text because that's some the secret history julien + the greek class shit. this is how religions get invented

#death note #brothercrush.txt

[keehlmyself]

late night christmas headcanons with (some) the death note cast!

this post will include: light, l lawliet, misa, matsuda, near, mello, matt & sayu.

— ' its the most wonderful time of the year ! '

LIGHT YAGAMI ★ [pre/no-kira!]

unsurprisingly, light is a very considerate gift giver. on one hand he tries to get gifts that will be more beneficial in the long run! at the same time he attempts to get something that he knows the person will like.

i can imagine light would be the kind of person to end up scouring the store for something affordable, useful and still likable. (spoiler! he fails to find items that fall into all three categories)

his gift-wrapping is neat. his mother, sachiko, taught him how to wrap gifts at the ripe age of 7. ever since then, he helps her every christmas :)

most items on wish list are stationary, up until little specific things — like a certain keychain or an expensive book.

one of his favourite things about christmas is the cookies that his mom makes. his favourites are (of course) the classic chocolate chip and simple vanilla biscuits.

he used to believe in santa when he was younger until the illusion and magic was ruined for him. as a result, while sayu was still young, he made sure that she'd continue to believe and have something to look forward to every christmas.

one time, he got L for a secret santa activity. he was fully aware that L was already rich. he could have anything he wanted! and so, he decided to make his own gift (with misa's assistance).

L LAWLIET ★

when he was younger, christmas was quite bleak at wammy's. other kids seemed to have fun but he just found himself incredibly uninterested in the holiday.

still, watari would get him gifts — and secretly? he felt appreciated.

years later, the kira task force would somehow find themselves discussing their holiday plans. L had decided to allow everyone to take a few days off (as pushed by his mentor, watari) to celebrate christmas with their families.

matsuda (bless his soul) decides to go ahead and suggest an office christmas party! at first, L is hesitant..

but he accepts. obviously.

with their basically infinite budget, the food is to die for. cakes, ice cream, meats, a few traditional meals from across the world..

secretly, this was L's quiet way of showing his own appreciation to everyone.

now you're probably wondering, 'what are his gifts like?' ... honestly lame. it depends; but for the most part, his gifts rely on practicality.

misa gave him shampoo for christmas once. and deodorant. and slippers. she wasn't trying to be mean, she just thought L didn't know those things existed and she wanted to guide him..

if you aren't upfront on what you want for christmas, he'll give you stationary, socks, utensils, etc.

MISA AMANE ★

misa is serving absolute cunt in that outfit she's wearing. she went all out - went shopping just for this. she's the type to wear little cute scarves, arm warmers, beanies.. and she looks good in them.

her gift giving abilities are god-like for the most part. she shops in advance and asks people for their wish lists

cute gift wrappers!! candy print, little cats, reindeer, hearts, etc. definitely for lights gift: she'd wrap it in hearts! (he did not reciprocate..)

at times, she worries she won't be able to spend christmas with her family (mostly just the task force) due to her modelling and acting career. she has to constantly do photoshoots, film commercials, and it stresses her out.

to make up for it: she drinks hot chocolate. and her hot chocolate is always the cutest. cute mugs, cute marshmallows, etc. but it still tastes good.

she taught sayu how to do her hot chocolate recipe! (it was barely her own recipe, she just adds alot of cute little etuff)

she's the type of gift wrapper to put ribbons on her gifts.

when asked about what she wanted for christmas, she said something cheesy like; 'anything as long as lights there'

TOUTA MATSUDA ★

christmas party planner 4everrrr

buys gifts a few months too early, our considerate king.

draws/doodles on the gift tags! (taught by misa)

he nagged watari to teach him to make cookies. he wanted to make some christmas cookies for L, in hopes that he'd win his apprpval.

wears ugly christmas sweaters a few days before christmas.

and so, this conversation ensued;

L: 'that sweater looks rather old.' Matsu: 'what? no, its barely been used' L: 'ah. it mustve been rotting in your closet.'

loves the concept of santa claus. has tried to make watari dress up as santa.

when he was younger, his parents brought him to talk to santa! by this time, matsuda already new santa claus wasnt real.

and so, he had an existential crisis the moment he realized that there was infact a white haired-white bearded man, clad in red.. and may be his childhood hero.

he liked rudolph alot and for one Halloween, he dressed up as him

NEAR ★

christmas at wammys was especially tiring for him. the children screaming, the sound of wrapping paper ripping being heard throughout the entire orphanage.. wasn't for him!

he didn't have many friends so he never really received any gifts.

his first ever gift was from linda — it meant alot to him. it was a little paper origami doll of him. it was taped horribly.

his family before the orphanage? he couldn't really remember, so along with that, he couldn't remember the christmases they had.

near gives gifts when he can.. by that, when or if he remembers.

his gifts range from socks to an entire mansion. he's not very responsible with his money.

HATES the mistletoe. one time he was under it the same time as mello. did they kiss? no, but mello did chase him around.

now sorta looks forward to christmas because of eggnog and all the toys he gets out of it. he gets ALOT of toys.

he dislikes carollers. he thinks they're too noisy. one time, he and a few other kids were forced to perform a sonf infront of everyone as part of the wammy's christmas party..

he was stood still and stayed quiet the entire time.

MELLO ★

he had alot of items on his wish list. most predominantly; accessories, clothes and of course.. chocolate.

mello is given a LOT of chocolate every christmas — with the exception of near who gave him a toothbrush out of mild concern.

his gifts are the best. by that, he just gets whatever the person wants (but at times gets everything)

mello just wants to be better than everyone when it comes to the gifts. and everything. there's a reasoning behind it, being; from a young age he always thought that if he gave the most and got the most, it would mean that everyone would like him.

there's a secret mostly one sided competition between near, matt and mello every year over who gives and receives the most gifts.

he gets into multiple fights with near, which results in him dumping a glass of eggnog down near's back.

near was not happy with the disgusting feel of wet clothes stuck to his skin. insert him literally SCREAMING

the closest person of authority in the area was giving mello a look of, 'make him stop or so help me'

wears all black to a christmas party with the exception of a red christmas hat

MATT ★

his wishlist is a little expensive, mostly 'cause it's all video game related — and clothes. did he list the clothes? no, mello did, 'cause matt's clothes are starting to fall apart at the seams.

he and mello think the christmas games are lame but they participate anyway. matts always helping mello win.

matt absolutely half asses his gifts! unless you're someone he likes or has a crush on.

lowkey pigs out during the christmas feast. he has fast metabolism so it doesn't really affect his body, but he does receive these wide-eyed looks from mello like 'holy shit you're gonna eat ALL of that?'

sings christmas songs to annoy everyone. definitely.

when he was younger, he wasn't really able to celebrate christmas properly with his family. i headcanon that he got into wammy's at a really young age and that he was there when near first arrived too.

he might not seem like it but he was one of the people (like linda) to try and make christmas a little more happy and sweet for the newcomers/the younger kids in the orphanage. he didn't want them to experience the same dissappointment and upset he felt every christmas when he was still with his family.

matt plays holiday pranks on everyone.

this is contradictory to the headcanon i made before the last, but he once told a random kid on the street santa claus wasn't real and it started crying.

SAYU YAGAMI ★

when she was younger, she'd save up all her allowance so she could buy her family gifts. admittedly — sayu's gifts never really aligned much with whatever was on their christmas lists. but she was so sweet, how could they reject?

sayu once got her and light matching slippers. hers were bunny slippers and his was dog slippers. (based off of this)

she believed santa was real up until the age of 15. she got a little angsty around those years..

her wishlist is mostly things like nail polish, certain percume, journaling books, clothes — but one year she wanted a pet mouse.. so she wrote down mouse.

well, sachiko wasn't a big fan of rodents. so instead she got her a computer mouse. and a new PC to go along with it. sayu liked it! she did want a computer too, yes..

she was salty about the pet mouse thing for the next 2 weeks though.

can't wrap gifts to save her life. she's the gift giver who puts her gifts into those paperbags and puts a ribbon sticker.

sayu loves to bake cookies with her mom. even after the events (yes, when she was traumatized to all hell by mello and the mafia) of death note, she continued to bake with her every christmas.

#death note #dn #death note headcanons #christmas #christmas headcannons #light yagami #l lawliet #misa amane #touta matsuda #mello death note #mihael keehl #near death note #nate river #matt death note #mail jeevas #sayu yagami #headcanon #headcanons

[httpwammy]

Wedding HC!

The proposal, the ring, the reception, the honeymoon! Oh dear, they're dying.

L LAWLIET

Top 10 things he never expected: no.1, getting married.

Okay listen, You'd have to be together for a long ass time before he even considered it. L has to be sure he can trust you and that you can handle him.

Proposing had never crossed his mind until Watari jokingly mentioned it, to be honest.

You know L's making plans because one day, he starts asking blunt questions on the matter. Until the night comes when he asks: "Would you like us to get married?"

And you're like, "Yeah? I mean, why not? We've been together for a while now."

That's it. I'm sorry. This man doesn't understand romance, but I personally would like to think he at least gave you the ring inside a slice of cake.

You and Watari took care of all the organization matters. L's contribution? Paying everything lol

The ceremony + Reception: 

Oh My god, this is happening! 

You agreed that it needed to be somewhere private, and you wanted it to be in a place familiar to him.

Am I about to say you married in Wammy's house? Yes, yes I am.

The kids (and your family) were told that L once was a part of the orphanage, and you wanted to marry there.

Mello knew who he was, however. And he couldn't believe his eyes.

Strawberry three-tier cake!!

Honeymoon 

Doesn't last very long, sadly. This man is a workaholic. 

But I see L arranging to have maximum privacy in a hotel next to the beach, where you both can enjoy each other and do multiple stimulating activities.

MELLO

I only see this happening in two ways: one, he addresses you as his wife, and no need for proposal.

Take may wife's name out of your fucking mouth lol no, just kidding

Two: he asks at the pure style of the mob. Fancy, luxury, and suddenly your reception is full of dangerous personalities.

Realistically, tho, I don't see him into the idea of marriage

The ceremony / reception

I think the ceremony would be short and not in a church, yet there might be some religious items there as decoration and symbolism.

The reception would be glamorous. Dark and elegant. Maybe a black and burgundy palette.

Honeymoon

IDK maybe Vegas? Something fun and exhilarating that keeps you both on thrill all the time!

I think that when he's in love Mello is really into spending time with his s/o, and has a hard time leaving, so I think it'd be a long honeymoon that only ends when Mello truly needs to get back to work.

MATT

Tattoo rings probably. He may or may not have proposed with a candy ring.

I don't really see him being big about this, but as you wanted it, and it's exciting for you he'd oblige.

The ceremony / reception

Can you have a Star Wars-themed wedding? No? :´( Oh, what about a lord of the rings one?! No? oh. Okay. So he guesses something based on a game is out the table too, huh? Yeah. Well, you can pick.

There wouldn't be one if not for you, so you get to choose: a beach wedding, forest wedding, or city wedding, he'll go with what you pick.

Honeymoon

Matt's idea of a perfect honeymoon is junk food and recording your reactions to horror games to watch later with popcorn as a comedy movie

If you're okay with that then cool! If not, I guess he'll allow you to pick the place as well, as long as you don't make force him to be outdoors for too long.

NEAR

Never thought about marriage until you jokingly call him your husband and damn, it felt good.

Strategically leaves multiple hints that it be better if you two joined forces for like... a lifetime. 

He's confident that you'll say yes. Yet he's terribly anxious when he asks.

The ceremony / reception

Something small and private unless you wish otherwise.

Maybe in a pretty hotel

Honeymoon

It doesn't last much, but it's worth every second. You'd have breakfast together and then create some pieces of art with the first sun rays of the morning, after which you share a shower.

Lots of naps and cuddles!

Later, in the afternoon you’d make some tea and watch a movie or play some chess.

Very lovely, soft days

#wammy boys #mello #near #L #matt #wammy's house #death note headcanons #Death Note #death note hc #mello x reader #matt x reader #near x reader #l x reader #mail jeevas #mihael keehl #L lawiet #nate river

[zimthandmade]

Ok first, hello :D.

I don't know if it's just me interpreting it that way, but from the little you showed, L in this AU is more "human" so to speak, like at least he shows emotions, and is a bit cringey in some ways (I love that ). Will you show more of him? (I'm not demanding, I'm just asking, sorry), like, does he care about these children? Did he feel bad about Beyond's death at the hands of Kira? Is he autistic or just way too weird?

I would love love love to show more L!! The thing is I’m having trouble finding things about him and thinking of scenarios for him to act out. L is super inactive in general. I can only see him sitting there, thinking, talking, not even changing facial expression. And that’s some pretty boring stuff to draw, innit? I’m also having a hard time imagining L having some sort of everyday life that would allign with what people normally do. That makes him absolutely unrelatable. Do you guys have any headcanons or scenarios for L that would be interesting to draw without being too out of character? If you want me draw L, give me something to work with!

The way I put it so far, yes, he absolutely cares about the kids at Wammy’s. He wants to give the kind of help to them he needed when he was younger. That doesn’t mean he’s doing a good job but at least he tries. Something that always kinda bothered me with how people see the relationship between L and the Wammy’s kids is how L is often portrayed as being a cuddly dad-like figure. The way I want to portray him is that L is not and never intends to be some sort of parental figure for any of the kids and the kids don’t view him as that either. Nobody is having soft feelings for L and they for sure ain’t cuddling when they meet. The contact between the kids and L is always professional. Friendly but always with a respectful distance. Keep in mind that all of these characters probably don’t like their personal bubble invaded and have a weird relationship with physical contact. L is just “some dude that smells funny” to the kids. And L sees the kids as “hyperactive tiny adults with sticky hands”.

L probably didn’t feel remorse about Beyonds death but rather about everything that happened before. About all the things that made Beyond become what he was.

And yeah, L is 100% autistic. He kinda falls into the adorkable aspie trope, if you’re familiar with that. A bit like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory or Sherlock Holmes. Like, all of his weird traits are portrayed as quirky instead of annoying, distracting or otherwise negatively.

#death note #l #ask

[mailjeevasfan]

Hey so could you do something with the wammy boys+light when the reader (established relationship) comes out as trans(ftm) and how they react when people bully reader because of it hufghd

-sorry this took a while to answer! wanted to make sure this was right

-death note x reader

-near, matt, mello, L, light

༺♡༻

dn characters if you came out as trans ❦

near

-i feel like he wouldn’t understand the term or idea of it at first. so, he’d research it a little, and after coming to understand the term at its most simple form he would do EXTENSIVE research. he would do this to ensure that he made you as comfortable as possible, and would show as much support as he could.

-as for people bullying you, i’ve mentioned this in a post before but near 100% has the most diabolical death stare. like it’s insane. it’d probably scare anyone away immediately. if that didn’t work then he’s just using those deductive abilities and connections of his to let this person know that they’ll get what’s coming to them

༺♡༻

matt

-matt is just… chill. he’s just like cool. like okay that’s fine. no need to worry here we’re all good. he’s very outwardly supportive too don’t get me wrong, but he does everything he can to also just not make a big deal about it. he’s remaining his usual loyal self and being your biggest supporter, asking if there’s anything he can do to make you more comfortable.

-if anyone bullies you he’s simply hacking every electronic device they own and doing crazy shit. probably doxxing them actually

༺♡༻

mello

-mello is a very passionate person. i feel that he’d show you a lot of love and care in this situation, making sure to tell you he is fully in support of you. i feel that he’d ask a lot of questions to you directly as he realises that it’s more about what you want. he isn’t going to find all the answers by just looking this up, he wants to be the best he can for you specifically.

-he is going to kill the shit out of anyone who bullies you. has a pretty strong sense of justice/moral code, and similar to others on this list, he is NOT going to stand for injustice in any form. so yeah he is probably killing them, no questions asked

༺♡༻

l lawliet

-l would approach this situation with a lot of thought and care. he would be very tentative and would make sure you were comfortable. i feel like he’d be likely to buy you things to ensure your comfort, i mean like a binder or things like that. he would show you a lot of love

-l has a very strong sense of justice, so he is not going to stand for prejudice. of course no one here would but with l he is extremely passionate about making people like this get what they deserve, especially if they’re doing it to you, who he loves.

༺♡༻

light

-light may be the only one here who would need more time to get the idea of you being trans, but he would be supportive and accepting after taking some time to understand. it’s not that he has a problem with it, it’s just a big thing and he wants time to accept it. in the end he’s going to do everything he can to make you feel supported

-let’s face it, light is probably going to kill the person bullying you with the death note. someone transphobic is likely to fit into his box of ‘wrong’ or ‘evil’ people, and the fact that it’s his partner they’re doing it to makes him that much more set on killing them.

༺♡༻

#death note #mail jeevas #mello #mihael keehl #l lawliet #light yagami #matt #death note x reader #near #nate river #light yagami x reader #near x reader #mail jeevas x reader #l lawliet x reader #mello x reader

[empressofthewind]

Woke up thinking about Mello surviving the Kira case and spending a couple months completely directionless, having zero idea of what his purpose is without Near & the rivalry and no plans for his future because he didn’t mean to live this long. He lays low for a little while, because he's a wanted criminal and he doesn't have much choice - but it doesn't really matter, because he doesn't have much to do anyway. And for a while, he just has this pervading sense of emptiness, because Near has been a huge part of his life since he was around 8 years old - everything he’s done has always been for the sake of beating Near - and now he doesn’t have to worry about that anymore, but he has no idea what his purpose is without Near. He's never had the chance to consider what he actually wants for himself rather than what Wammy’s House taught him he should want. But he's confused as to why he feels like this - the rivalry is over now, and he thought he’d feel happier that way, that he might actually be free for the first time in his life, but instead he’s stuck thinking about Near all the time, wondering how he’s doing, how he’s handling the role of L. He has no idea why he keeps thinking about it. He has no idea why every so often, he turns on the news, just to see if L has solved any new cases lately, even though there’s no reason for him to care.

He decides it’s just a bit of lingering jealousy over the fact that Near is L and he’s not, which doesn’t make a lot of sense because he doesn’t really feel any malice towards Near anymore, but it's the only explanation he can think of. So he calls Halle and asks how Near is doing, assuming that it might be easier to stop thinking about it if he has an answer. She tells him she’s not sure, really. That as far as she knows, he’s fine, but she hasn’t seen him since February - she, Gevanni and Rester have all found new work elsewhere, outside of New York where Near is still based, so none of them have been checking in on Near anymore other than through brief phone calls. For a reason that, once again, is unbeknownst to him, this absolutely enrages him. He goes off at Halle about how it’s ridiculous that they should leave Near alone for so long, because he can’t possibly take care of himself. What is he supposed to eat with no one there to cook for him? How can he run himself a bath? How is he supposed to keep his house clean? She suggests that he go see him if he’s so passionate about it, which he answers by hanging up the phone and sulking for a good ten minutes. He scowls when she sends him a text with the address of Near’s new house. He can’t visit Near. He’s not even supposed to be thinking about Near. But the more he thinks about it, the more he starts to wonder if maybe, he needs that closure - maybe he does just need to get out of his apartment and pay Near a visit, just once, and that’ll get Near out of his mind for good. So he memorises the address Halle sent him, gets on his motorbike and he heads all the way to Near’s house.

The room he first enters is a mess of scattered cards and dice and puzzle pieces, and Near is at the centre of it, on the floor, hunched over a laptop. He’s facing away from Mello, but even so, Mello can tell something is off - something that he can’t quite place. His hair is longer than it was when Mello last saw him, and notably messier. When he turns his head slightly, Mello catches a glimpse of the dark circles beneath his eyes, twice as thick as they used to be. His voice is quiet and rough when he asks Mello why he’s here. He’s never really been a happy person, but he’s never exactly been sad either, and there’s something about him now that seems so sombre - too sombre for Mello’s liking. Naturally, Mello takes it upon himself to close Near’s laptop and drag him away from work for what he suspects is the first time in at least 24 hours. Near tries to protest, telling Mello that the case is too important for him to be torn away from. Mello doesn’t listen. He gets Near some food and a bath, and sits with him in his bedroom until he falls asleep. Mello intends to leave as soon as Near is asleep - he’s done what he came for - but Near looks so peaceful like that, with his eyes closed and his body curled up in the foetal position, that Mello stares for longer than he probably should, until he starts to feel tired himself.

He ends up falling asleep there, too, and is immediately displeased to find that when he wakes up, Near has already left to return to his work. Mello’s upset with him, obviously, because this is what his problem is - he’s been focusing too much on his work, neglecting his own needs - but then Near asks if he wants to hear about the case, and though Mello’s instinctive reaction is to decline the offer (that sounds awfully close to working with him, and he vowed when he was a kid that he would never work with Near), he’s admittedly a little curious about it. Near runs him through the crime & the evidence, all the deductions he’s made so far, all the gaps in his information that he needs to fill in. It’s a pretty interesting case, all things considered. Near explains that it’s slightly more complex than some of the others he’s worked on before, and it’ll probably take him a few days to get it done. Mello looks back over all the evidence, turning it over in his mind. Something is bugging him about it. Something that isn't quite adding up. He asks Near if he's allowed to take over for a second, which he is, and Near moves aside so Mello can review all the evidence in-depth. He rearranges a few papers, scribbles something down, maps out his entire thought process for Near to see; Near just watches in awe. Within a few hours, the case is solved.

Mello returns to his apartment that afternoon, after making Near lunch and leaving a few ready-made meals in the fridge for the next few days. He showers, changes clothes, cooks something for himself - and now that he’s alone, he has plenty of time to think about the whole thing. The visit definitely didn't bring him the closure he was looking for. If anything, it just made him more confused. Near isn’t his rival anymore - he knew that already - but he’s not really a friend, either. Why does he care so much about someone who shouldn’t really mean anything to him? But then something occurs to him. The whole point of the visit was to help Near. It was because Near has been unhappy, because Near has been bored and lonely and can't manage on his own. But being there with Near, feeling that peacefulness as he watched him sleep and that thrill of solving a case after months of stasis... it stirred something in him. Maybe Mello has been just as bored, just as lonely, just as miserable. Maybe he and Near are the answer to each other’s problems.

He goes back in the morning, makes Near breakfast, runs him a bath. And when Near is done and dressed - his hair still slightly damp, his skin still warm from the water - Mello does something unexpected. He kisses Near. It’s not a light kiss, either. It’s rough and sudden, and it would’ve knocked Near off his feet if Mello’s hands weren’t on his waist, firmly holding him in place. Near kisses him back, after a few seconds, and they stay like that for a long while, Near somehow ending up seated on the bathroom counter as Mello kisses him like his life depends on it. Mello leaves again that evening, and comes back the following day, with all his stuff packed in a single suitcase. This time, he doesn’t leave.

Some 6 months later, Mello wakes up in Near’s bed for the 180th day in a row, still halfway stuck in the haze of a long sleep, his dream still clear in his mind. It was a dream about Near, as it always is. It was set 20 years from today - Near being 39, Mello being 41 - and they had been long married, sitting together on the veranda of their shared house, hands intertwined. Once the pleasant haze wears off, Mello realises something - he’s thinking about the future. For the first time since the end of the Kira case, he can envision a future for himself. He looks over at Near, who’s still asleep beside him, and he takes his small hand in his own. This is what he wants. This is how things should be.

This is his purpose.

#this actually came about because I had almost this exact dream #and it got me thinking about the fact that mello presumably did not intend to survive the kira case #& how near has been his entire life's purpose so obviously he would be lost without him #so to imagine him finally finding that purpose again with near as a lover and not a rival is so so compelling to me 🥺 #anyway. I started writing this at 9:30 and it's now noon #oops... #meronia #writing

[asmallmoon333]

Near for the ask game 👁️👁️ And also Lawlight ✨

Hi Grim!! :3

Near! :D

How I feel about this character: Like him, but tbh no real deep or passionate feelings. I haven't poked his brain enough to get interested. I will say I started liking him more in the A-Kira one-shot, and not only cause his long hair was awesome, but cause I wanted to know more about WHY he was like that, what he felt all those years later about the Kira Case, how his life had gone as the new 'L'.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Mello in a childhood rival-turned-enemy-turned-lover way; Light a very messed-up 'mutual substitutes' way; and Minoru Tanaka cause I think they should have at least met and picked each others' brains!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Also Mello actually, sometimes I just want them to understand each other and come to like...not a moment of peace, so much as a moment of actually talking about what their childhood at Wammys did to them and their relationship as a consequence of it.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Anime Near really was boring and I had no interest in watching him. Manga Near is more interesting, but they still needed to make him more goofy. (I saw two alternate panel translations of 'Serious Near' vs 'Goofy Near' and I loved the second one.)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Near meeting Minoru Tanaka!!! What a freaking loss of opportunity. Also, I'm a fan of the "Near wrote Mikami's Name" theory and I'd like that confirmed or denied in canon.

My OTP: I don't have one, I don't know him well enough tbh, even the ones I do ship, it's kinda with ambivalent feelings.

My cross over ship: Dont have one, sorry :3

A headcanon fact: He didn't grow his hair out cause he's too lazy to cut it or too depressed to bother, he just genuinely likes the way it looks and feels.

Lawlight! :D

When I started shipping it if I did: In December 2022 when I started writing for them! Altho tbh I'm not sure if I so much as shipped them, or if I just really liked the challenge of writing about them getting and being together.

My thoughts: Love them when they're just eternally messed with and messing with each other. I like them both individually as characters so having them together is really fun.

What makes me happy about them: Their symmetry. They just GET each other. And I love picking at their brains and poking them with a stick, and putting them in Situations together. I think their reactions are really fun.

What makes me sad about them: That in canon they were (or maybe mostly just Light, cause we never got to pick L's brain about it) too dumb to see what they'd be bored as hell without the other. That they never got the chance to actually be honest with each other before it was too late. (Altho in the anime L did try.)

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: For L, my pet peeve is the idea that his whole personality was an 'act.' I've never heard a good argument for why he'd bother. From a character standpoint, this would mean we never knew anything about him, which makes me sad. As for Light, when someone gives him too many "good" or too many "bad" traits, for whatever reason. It no longer feels like Light at some point.

Things I look for in fanfic: Mind Games :3

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I don't think they're capable of it lol, sometimes I don't even think they're capable of ending up with each other. But for the sake of it, I wanted to see more of Light and Kiyomi. and as for L, Matsuda could take care of him.

My happily ever after for them: Mind Games, but forever! :D

Who is the big spoon/little spoon: Light is usually the little spoon cause L clings like an octopus, and Light needs to breathe so he faces the other way. L becomes the little spoon if Light wakes up in the middle of the night and L's asleep but not clinging to him.

What is their favorite non-sexual activity: Dang, I can't say Mind Games again. Or arguing. Or discussing a book cause it would be to one-up each other. So I think--sharing a meal. Just the two of them quietly enjoying their food together, and even giving little bits off their plates that they think (hope) the other might enjoy. A small sign that they want the other to live, and be happy.

[morbiderotica]

Hello, I love your writing! Sorry if my request is kinda weird. Could your write about how the reader used to be close with Mello and Matt when they were at Wammy's. When they got older the reader seemed to have completely disappear, untill they randomly run into Mello and Matt on the street. How would they react?

─ ★ run in ... gn!reader

you were out of breath. running from the mafia because of a dumb mistake your friend made. he was probably dead by now and your legs were close to giving out. you didn't know how to get out of this mess, you knew you were dead if you looked back or stopped even for just a second. your life was flashing before your eyes. every memory or decision you'd ever made, good and bad.

you turned a corner and were met with a wall "no, no, no!" you desperately tried to find a way to escape this dead end. "don't move." some man with a gun threatened and you reluctantly followed his orders, lifting your hands above your head when he told you to. "boss is going to have fun with you." he evilly grinned and you swallowed a lump in your throat.

─ ★

you were thrown into a cold and dark room. it looked like some kind of basement. you didn't know what was going to happen next. and when you heard the door open and footsteps coming toward you, you felt like you were about to have a heart attack. "Y/N?" your head shot up when you heard the familiar voice call your name.

you were in too much shock to respond and he was quick to notice. he bent down to see your face better, and after confirming it really was you he sat in front of you, on his knees, making sure no one hurt you, well, too badly at least. "matt?" you finally croaked. "hey." he smiled and it comforted you. "whatcha doing down here?" he asked, hoping he didn't have to kill you.

you didn't know how to explain the situation, and quite frankly you were embarrassed. "my friend- he- i-" you paused and took a deep breath and matt rested his hand on your shoulder. "my friend did a drug run for, what im assuming, was one of your guys but he pocketed the money or something, i don't know. he kept it vague." you hoped matt believed you. "dumbass." he muttered under his breath before getting up and walking out of the room.

you began to panic. was he calling you a dumbass? did he not believe you? was he going to kill you? all the memories that you and matt shared, he was just going to kill you after all of it? you guys had spent your adolescent years together at wammy's and now he was just disregarding you? you were angry, but no more than you were scared.

"what is it matt? why can't you just fucking tell me?" you heard the distinctive voice that belonged to mello as the door opened again. "oh." mello stopped in his tracks when he saw you, his every question suddenly answered. "hi." you smiled awkwardly, hoping that if matt wouldn't save you, maybe mello would. "now, what were you and your friend doing messing with the mafia?" he scolded and you just shrugged.

"you're paying us back." mello stated and matt looked a little shocked. "and be grateful we aren't killing you." he sounded harsh but you couldn't miss his eyes scanning you for any signs of pain or blood and the hint of some weird tone in his voice that he didn't have before he saw you sitting there.

"how am i going to pay you back?" you questioned when matt started to undo the ropes that held your wrists and feet together. "wouldn't you like to find out?" he cockily responded before he began to walk out of the room. "uh yes that's why i asked!" you yelled after him and matt laughed. "he's always like this, you should get used to it." he smiled and helped you to your feet, hugging you promptly before leading you to mello.

i reread the request after i wrote this and it sounds like you might want headcanons so lmk if that's what you meant so i can properly do your request!

#─ ♡ death note #death note #death note x reader #matt death note #mello death note #matt x reader #mello x reader #mail jeevas #mihael keehl #mail jeevas x reader #mihael kheel x reader

[nateriverswife]

Salutations.

First off; I would like to thank you for humoring my questions, by far. Having been in the fandom (Death Note) for quite a while can be daunting at times considering how persistent everyone is on certain views that, more often than not, contradicts the canon itself, though I do not mind the originality. Some of the questions you might remember answering from me would be;

1. How unfair it is for everyone in this fandom to go full autobiography mode on Light Yagami but wrote a piss poor characterisation of other characters.

2. L would not enjoy fighting for Justice under Light's idea

There might be more, but these two are the ones that I remember writing and asking.

I rather enjoy reading your point of views. Being an avid Lawlight shipper myself (which you might found dissapointing, and for that, I apologise) I found it rather... boring that most, if not all, were very insistent that L would join Light's side if given the opportunity while writing him very, very poorly. I enjoy these two through the energy they emitted while actively going against each other. Not when they shook hands and went about it all the same like a carousel ride.

Second: What is your opinion on the whole Wammy's House organisation debacle? On A and B? The whole Successor Programme?

I don't like it. Having being nurtured the same as these children does, I absolutely resented it. Partly because of how harmful the product of the whole environment, largely because of how it reflects the morale ground Quillsh Wammy stood and what he believes in. I despise men in suits, even more so than people in orange jumpers or stripped, black and white outfit.

(Call me E.H. I would like for us to be friends. Mutuals.)

Please, E.H., I would be honoured to be mutuals, but how could you betray me like this? Mid-message? Dropping a bomb of that size on me and my blog?

Seriously, though, I would like that. I will overlook this little flaw of yours, because not everyone can be perfect, and I will accept you with open arms.

Okay. Really dropping the act this time. You don’t have to apologies for shipping them, even though I suppose it was more ironic than anything. I already have mutuals that are like you. I filtered out the various tags concerning L/Light – there are a lot of variations –, and I am fine.

I will survive if I add one more… Hopefully — but I think, in this case, it is more of a “probably”, because you do seem to share some of my views on the whole manga/anime and that means we have some common ground, even though I believe that is not that difficult.

I am really glad you like reading my long-ass posts, because I do enjoy writing it. I actually was waiting for some kind of feedback from you, because, truthfully, I wasn’t sure if your opinions were supposed to be just published without any input from me or if you actually wanted me to say something.

I was both confused (didn’t understand why you decided specifically my blog, since it’s not that well know) and delighted by them.

In any case, I am happy to see this message, especially the last part. You are the first person on here who explicitly stated the wish for my friendship. I didn’t expect that at all. I’ve been told that I seem intimidating, and I still don’t get why, so seeing that someone isn’t put off by this, it’s a nice feeling.

I will now get to your questions, and the post is going to be long, because it’s on a topic that I am actually working on and wanted to do a post of my own, but felt like, “why would people care?”, so I am glad that you do.

PREMISE

I need to do a premise before, because I feel like this is relevant to understanding my opinion.

I would love to kick myself in the face every time I happen to mention it (even though I do so to help my motivation), because it seems that I bring it up so many times and it’s making me annoyed, like, “can this bitch (me) just shut the fuck up already?”. However, it’s important in this context.

I am writing a fanfiction about the Wammy’s House, during L’s years there. And, since I am doing this, my idea of the Wammy’s House is crafted in a way that can make my story work, but I do realize this, so I will try to eliminate all my OCs’ stuff (I think I’ll mention them), even though I still believe that some roles or events I have created can be considered plausible (not canon, of course), because they help explain some things that I noticed about L while reading the manga.

Another thing is that this is a work in progress and while I have an outline for the plot, a lot of things about the Wammy’s are still not definitive. So, everything I say is not set in stone. [This question also made me realise that I made a huge error when it comes to the timeline of my fanfic, which screwed up half of the outline, but thank you.]

Other than this, Ohba left a wide-open door for any interpretation of Watari and the Wammy’s, because he didn’t think too much about them. He just wrote them in for plot purposes and never developed them properly, so anything goes, theoretically, so maybe I will be a bit more lenient on both. I don’t deny the possibility of them being pretty fucked up, because I cannot say that what I think is completely backed by canon. To each their own, but since you have experienced a similar environment, I had to preface this, because my view on it doesn’t adhere to the reality of some of these institutions, and I don’t want you to believe that I’m oblivious to the real-life problems that occur.

I think I took more liberty here, because I had few things to start from, and I’m really fond of the idea that the people (Roger and Watari too) at the Wammy’s were like a family, with its ups and downs (more downs than ups – even in my fic, so I realise that not everything is all peaches and cream). It’s just the wishful thinking of my younger self that so desperately wanted to be part of that world, and I have a hard time getting rid of it.

I must also say that most of my choices regarding the Wammy’s structure and organisation is based on “gut feeling”/intuition. More often than not, I feel if something is right or wrong, even though I can’t pinpoint exactly what’s the reason for that. I just have the impression that something must be in a certain way, and if I don’t comply to this, it just feels uncomfortable until I fix it.

WATARI & ROGER

I want to start from them to explain exactly what I think of these two, particularly their past and what led them to create the Wammy’s.

Reference to another post I wrote – headcanons about Roger – but you needn’t to read it, since I am going to repeat it here, and it talks more about their relationship than the Wammy’s.

In my mind, Watari was both a professor and an inventor. The professor job needed to provide for him before his inventions took off and gave him enough money to live comfortably for the rest of his life, since it seems that he was quite rich, even before L gained something.

So, together with Roger, who was his assistant, he was in close contact with different types of students and noticed the disparity between those who can study and have the resources and those who don’t them but have the abilities to continue. Of course, they couldn’t intervene in the private business of these people. Instead, they discussed knowledge, intelligence, and the social economic situation of England (and later around the world) that didn’t allow young kids, especially orphans, to develop themselves and their abilities, since they didn’t have the means.

Not trusting the state institutions with their money, they decided to take matters into their own hands and had in mind to create an orphanage that had an internal school, so they can provide them resources and knowledge, without making them sacrifice any of those.

But then a dilemma appeared: “what if some kids can learn faster than others and we end up slowing them down?”

[learn faster than others – because “prodigy” doesn’t mean anything when it comes to orphans that don’t have resources or any help from adults.]

And from that dilemma, the Wammy’s House was born. It was a specific type of the institution they had in mind, which was meant for those who seemed more capable than others.

It’s said that Watari owns different orphanages, but they are not talked about like the Wammy’s, so it’s safe to assume the main difference is this one – what kind of kids are there and what they learn.

About Roger, I honestly think that the “he hates kids” was added to have some sort of comedic effect. However, if it was meant to be taken seriously, and I do consider it canon, there are two reasons to me:

He began to hate them, as he continued to work at the Wammy’s, because they pulled pranks on him. He’s not fierce – shown to us by how he responded to Mello grabbing him and how he stopped Mello from bothering another kid. He is quite passive and not confrontational, so I believe he was an easy target for the kids, and he grew to despise their behaviour and to be quite afraid of them in a way, because, while he tried to stop Mello, his attempt was shallow. I don’t think this is because he didn’t care, but because Mello was angry at him, and his explosive nature made him cautious.

Romantic reason: the kids, and especially L, took Watari from him Watari was too occupied with his work that he almost forgot what he and Roger had. That obviously pained Roger and he began to resent the situation and those who stole him and his attention. That would explain why their relationship grew cold, because we don’t see Roger communicate with Watari once, so it means that something happened that drove them apart, aka these kids got in between.

No matter what the reason is, Roger tries to be emotionally distant from them. I have this trope that I associate with him of the grumpy old man having to deal with a kid because of circumstances he cannot control, and he grows attached to them, wanting to protect them at best of his abilities. This is my wishful thinking, but I believe he has those moments in which he thinks, “maybe they are not that bad”, and they then do something that makes him annoyed, and he’s like, “never mind”.

Watari is emotionally not present too, not because he doesn’t want to be involved, but because he is still an inventor before becoming L’s right hand indefinitely and full-time, so he has to fulfil that role and be involved in that community to promote his stuff, to develop it, and etc. Also, the Wammy’s and the other orphanages are relatively new in my opinion, because he first established them when he’s around 40-45, so a few years before L was born, and he has to make sure they all work as he wants to, and he has to make connections so he can find these kids to bring to the Wammy’s. So, he has a lot on his plate. For this reason, if the kids need to talk to him, they have to go through Roger and get a date and an hour for when he is avaliable. Roger says that if it's urgent, they can talk to him, but they are like, "no, thanks", aka they would rather eat cold and raw food for the rest of their lives.

WAMMY’S HOUSE

Location

I have actually thought about this for a long time, and even wrote a post (after I finished this section, I noticed that I was repeating word for word what I had put here, so please, consider reading it for all the reasons).

Littleton, in the north-west part of Winchester.

I know I’m kind of going the extra mile by doing this, but I’ve always done it for every structure I had to write something about, so the Wammy’s gets a real-life location too.

The actual true reason for which I chose this location is because it’s near big fields, and I needed that for plot purposes, but even without considering that, it seems to fit what we know about L’s life there.

He played tennis – there’s a tennis court 20 minutes by foot from there. Relevant that it’s by foot, because I imagined that Watari couldn’t constantly leave the Wammy’s with L for long periods of time and multiple times a week. He had other affairs to attend to, aside from his responsibility at the Wammy’s.

A’s suicide – there’s a church where he can be buried. It can be reached by foot, so the kids could attend his funeral. I also have a morbid headcanon that B took his body from his grave. I also liked to tie the church to L hearing bells before he dies, so this closeness would make it possible for everyone inside the Wammy’s to hear them.

Big space – because the Wammy’s seems to be pretty big by the manga panels we have, and I have a specific idea of how it’s structured, both its exterior and interior, so it was necessary to have many hectares available.

Structure

I made floor plans. I started this a while ago and never actually completed it, because the site I was using was infuriating, but I found an app, and managed to copy what I had done in the other one. I forgot to change the names of the rooms, because I created this to help me visualise the setting of my fic, so ignore them for now (I will point out some names there, just to explain one thing). Don't mind that they are two different sizes, because the app didn't let me make some of the furniture smaller, so I had to enlarge the rooms, so that's why the first floor is bigger.

It’s not definitive, because I still don’t understand where I should put their stairs – or if to put them, ‘cause based on Mello and L’s egos, they already think so highly of themselves that I don’t think they need a staircase to reach the first floor.

In my fic, I didn’t explicitly state where they are supposed to be. I’m letting the readers figure that one out for me, while I just stick to say if they go down or up them. The main problem is not if they should face or not the entrance, because they have to, but where the hell are on the first floor? My gut feeling keeps making me image them next to Lex’s room, but that doesn’t make sense and would be pretty ugly on the ground floor – they would be too close to the entrance, and I hate it. So, I’m just going to ignore it, until it becomes a problem, which I doubt because I’m the one writing this, and nobody is going to police every single detail.

The two unnamed bedrooms on the ground floor are for people that work there (cooks, cleaning staff or the nurse) that can’t go home for reasons.

In my fic, one of the rooms is always vacant, because I imagine that the employees are near the Wammy’s, so they don’t need to stay there, and it is a storage closet, with all of things – costumes and decorations for all kinds.

It’s a pretty big institution. The size of the rooms might not give that away, but it’s big. It has high ceilings, and the classrooms and bedrooms are longer than wider, but they are still very spacious. When I write and imagine it, even it’s from the perspective of small children, I envision everything to be comfortable even for older kids.

I couldn’t add everything I think it has, so I’ll just list them:

A small football field on the left with two benches, so the kids can rest.

Some big trees next the corners of the garden and some bushes here and there.

A stone path from the main entrance to the gate.

A shed on the right, with all the gardening tools.

The interior might not coincide with the way it is portrayed in the manga panels, but I like to imagine that after A’s death and L’s parting, things got restructured and the internal organisation changed.

Internal organisation - from the year it was founded to 1993, so even during L’s years there

I placed L’s arrival in 1988, when he’s about to turn 9, because L is shown to us to be in relatively light clothing in the one-shot “L: The Wammy’s House”, so it can’t be after 31st October. Winchester usually has a high of 11° and a low of 4° in November, and 8° and 2° in December, so I don’t see why he would be dressed up like that.

And 1993, because he says to Light that he stayed in England for 5 years, which also means that he is not from there. I headcanon him to be born in Scotland, because it’s hilarious to think he has a Scottish accent that he hides – “Bang! if Ah was kira, yoo'd be deid.” | “Looks loch someain drapped thes ceel phain in th' crowd earlier.” and so on. It’s so funny. And also, it kind of makes sense why he wasn’t in England before and why he knows standard English. He could also be from Northern Ireland, but he gives me Scottish vibes.

1993 is also the year in which I place A’s death. I don’t follow the timeline from Another Note, because I cannot imagine A and B being younger than L. I’ll talk about this later.

ENTRY

The first requisite for the kids to be brought to the Wammy’s is to show that they are more able than other (as in “able to learn to a faster speed” or show some specific ability), and they usually are kids that were in another orphanage already. Watari has a wide social network and, to me, he’s called by the people in charge of those institutions (that could be his, like he just owns it and is contact with the ones who take care of it) when they realise a kid’s ability. For this reason, rarely there are kids who are very young, and I put that the second requisite is that they have to be at least 5 years old, because the school inside it goes only from elementary school to high school.

Only in exceptional circumstances, the Wammy’s House takes on younger kids, e.g., if they are in danger and the Wammy’s is the closest place where they can stay. However, after everything is settled (a matter of a few days), they are transferred to other orphanages administrated by Watari if they are that young. They still can come back, when they are older, but it’s a lot more work to look after toddlers or pre-schoolers.

After passing the entry exam, all the kids have their own personal folders with all their existing documents – birth certificate, medical records, etc. – that will be given back to them once they leave the Wammy’s House.

While the whole letter system becomes a thing when L appears, the kids still have to choose their alias, because some of them surely have a troubled past and choosing a new name is a fresh start, as if the bad things that happened to them can’t reach them anymore inside those walls. Since making only some choose it would make them stood out, it is implemented as a general rule, and even Watari does it so it isn't seen as a bad thing.

ENTRY EXAM

To enter the Wammy’s House, there is an exam. Since every one of the kids that are sent here is with the idea that they are more able, the admission rate is 100%.

The exam covers different abilities: raging from knowledge the orphan should possess for their age to difficult stuff (this knowledge is chosen based on the national curriculum for students up to 18 years old), and it includes other scopes (e.g., musical, artistic, etc. – to understand if they have an inclination to something or if they are interested in that).

There is also a social part. Since they live into a community, it’s good to understand how to live with others. If they don’t pass this part, it doesn’t mean they get automatically excluded, but it can lower their position a bit.

There is an obvious fallacy, because if they theoretically know how to behave towards others, it doesn’t mean they employ that behaviour. In fact, most of the kids “know” how to act in a community, but they have some behavioral issues, and the higher they are in the grade system, the worse they are. I like the irony I created, so I’m keeping it in.

This exam focuses more on the thought process than the result.

THE GRADE SYSTEM

I created a system made by 6 grades + 1, which is called “Apex”.

All of them have a basic requirement in knowledge.

The first three (1 is the lowest, 3 is the highest) are more socially oriented and coincide to elementary and middle school. They mostly teach kids social skills, so they can work all together to get to a common objective, aka pass the grade. They focus on play, conversation, emotional intelligence and problem-solving skills.

When developing this, Watari thought it would be quite easy to pass it, but he was wrong. He found out that letting the kids try the test – which is, like, a presentation, a competition and a debate – every year created more hatred between them, so he had to add another year, so they could defuse these feelings and make them understand that cooperation is the best option.

The result here is not that important. The most important part is how they got there and how they all behaved towards each other, which should be inclusive. And, while the kids can maybe work better together as a class or big groups and pass the first two with ease, grade 3 is tricky. Not because the curriculum is hard, but because they need to find a person and trust that they are on the same page as them, but not everyone is eager to get to the new grade.

It never happened for someone of the age 13 to still be in the grade 3, so it was never a problem to “what if they remain there until they become 18?”, because Wammy’s existence is short at this point in time, and usually they find someone, but, in case it happens, Watari has a plan B and it’s individual classes to teach them what they should know at their age. They are still in grade 3 and they still have to do the debate with someone else, but if they pass it, depending on how much they have learnt, they can also do the exam to get to grade 5 or skip the classes about the things they already know, because the other three grades (4 is the lowest, 6 is the highest) are more individualistic. They don’t have to work with the others to pass it, so here is more important the result.

The last “grade” is not a grade, but a category. These are those who fulfilled all the requirements and are “free” to do whatever they want. It’s like they finished high school. They are not required to go to class or take some exams, unless they ask to get a degree or a master, in which case, if they need it, a professor is called to assist them and then, an external qualified examinator to test them and their knowledge. But, other than that, they are completely free.

CLASSES AND TEACHERS

Classes are semi-mandatory, and everyone is greatly encouraged to take part to all of them. Watari may even talk to those who deems more needing to be present, which are usually those in the first grades, especially if they misbehave or show anti-social behaviour.

For the first grades, there is one teacher per grade for every subject, since the syllabus is not hard. They are of course specialized in those parts. This choice was made for consistency and to create a great bond with them, since having different teachers might throw off the dynamics that exist within the class.

For the other grades, since the topics are harder, there is a different teacher for subject.

School time is a bit different from the one for the public school:

Youth Month represents the start of summer break.

Classes are resumed in September.

They have all the other breaks like Easter, Christmas and so on.

The classes are from Monday to Friday, and every student has their own timetable that may or may not coincide with those who share their same grade – it depends on what they know already, determined by a test at the end of every quarter.

ACTIVIES

Youth Month

For this, I took inspiration from youth games in Italy, which is basically an event that promotes inclusivity, sport, healthy competition, and social relations.

It’s in May, and every Sunday there is a different activity in which pairs compete. There are two different competitions based on age: 7-12; 13-17.

In 1989, I put that:

May 7: three legs run.

May 14: relay race.

May 21: treasure hunt.

May 27: cops and robbers (the last game is divided into two big groups to give a chance to gain a lot of points for those who didn’t until then).

In 1990, the only change I made is that the third game is table tennis, since it was raining outside.

Holidays

Valentine's Day, Halloween, Christmas, and New Year's Eve are the main holidays that are celebrated inside the Wammy's, because even though I believe that Watari is Christian and the orphanage has an affiliation to Christianity, I don’t think he indoctrinate the kids. That would go against the core of the Wammy’s in my opinion, because kids are supposed to think critically and accepting the existence of God without questioning it is not. They can always turn to that religion if they feel close to it, but it’s not mandatory. They don’t go to Church (imagine two old gay men having to make sure 30+ kids don’t destroy it every Sunday) nor celebrate other very Christian holidays, like Easter. They might have a feast, but it’s not publicly associated to the resurrection of Jesus.

This is a choice I made based on the fact that nobody showcases any belief in any type of supernatural entities. Mello wears a rosary, and it seems more symbolic than him actually believing and practicing the religion. I associate it to his mother, who I like to headcanon as a devoted Christian, since Eastern Europe/Balkans are very, extremely, to a worrying extent religious, to the point that people would rather go to church or call a priest home and pray instead of visiting a doctor to cure any kind of injury.

[Tangent: and the church as an institution seems like the mafia. I happened to be home in Romania when the priest and his helpers had to bless our home and they made us kneel in the dark with torches in hand. We had to kiss his ring and give him money, and it’s not like a voluntary contribution. It’s pretty much blackmailing, because if you don’t “donate”, they have the right to give your place in the graveyard to someone else, and they write it down how much you paid to see if it’s enough when you die. If it is not, your kids or relatives have to pay. It’s wild. It’s not everywhere like this, but the church is quite shady, at least in Romania, and they brainwashed people, especially older ones, to devote everything to them. It's insane.]

Halloween:

I put that a few days before Halloween one of the older kids is appointed to go around the Wammy’s and take notes of what the kids would love to eat (candies) and what they want to dress up as. Everything is done in the realm of possibilities. Watari is going to buy the costumes he can find. Usually, they are passed down from one person to another, so during L’s years, there have been enough requests to have pretty much the ones that are more common, and the only change is to make them fit the new person wearing it. Kids like also to be crafty, like for a mummy costume, they are going to use toilet paper and so on. It’s more about the candies, because he needs to buy something they will like.

In the first part of the day, Watari calls some outsiders to help him decorate the Wammy’s and carve pumpkins into jack-o'-lanterns. Some kids give a hand, but the others are more preoccupied with their costumes.

The party usually starts at 17:30, after they take a group photo under the “Hallowe’en XXXX” banner over their head. They then play games and just do their things, while eating candies and other sweets. At 19, there is a feast. After that, Watari or Roger tell the kids some age-appropriate scary stories, and at 21, Littleton has fireworks, but you really have to be lucky to see them, aka it doesn’t have to rain, and it usually does.

Since trick and treat wasn’t popular in UK until the late 80s-early 90s, I put that the kids at the Wammy’s experienced it for the first time in 1992. Watari didn’t understand it at first, because he was the one to buy candies for the kids, so why would they need to go to someone else? (Poor grandpa, feeling replaced).

Christmas:

I wanted to do something different. Watari doesn’t ask the kids what they might want, but tries to surprise them, showing that he knows them, so that he can make up for all the time he isn’t present, which is a lot. He buys the gifts and places them under the tree in the main hall. After the kids open them, they take again a group photo next to the tree and the kids have all their presents in their hand, showing them to the camera. It’s very cozy and calm holiday. They have a big feast, and the kids are let playing with their new toys. They even watch some Christmas movies.

New Years’s Eve:

Watari doesn’t prepare anything special, other than a feast. There are fireworks, and that's it.

Valentine’s day:

There are two types, for those older than 14 and those younger, because I think the Wammy’s is strict when it comes to romance (mostly about PDA), which is not that serious at that age. But it’s an important part of growing up and they cannot go around fearmongering that liking someone in a romantic sense is bad. That would defeat the purpose of the first 3 grades. If you can’t like someone in that way, then you can’t even get near them, as to avoid the possibility of that feeling to develop.

Generally, everyone gets chocolates and candies, but they are also required to write a nice card to someone else. This person is chosen by extraction – done by Watari, who can pretend that is random, but it’s actually not.

In my fic, they usually write stupid things, like “you are funny”, but some of them get someone they have petty rivalry with, and so they write backhanded compliments, because they can go to Watari and complain about the card, and the sender can just lie that they meant it, that it’s all in good faith.

Those that are older than 14 can ask Watari a gift to buy to someone, but of course, it’s fucking embarrassing to go and ask him that, so they usually just gift their sweets to that person and do a hand-made card for them, if they feel like it. Only those that are braver go to ask him to buy a rose, a special card or something.

Stargazing

I added this activity for the summer break, in which they all gather in a nearby field and look at the sky on some specific days.

There is also an astronomer called by Watari that can answer their question, but the reason for this was to let the kids feel a bit freer and not confined within the gates of the Wammy’s, especially the younger ones that can’t go to the recreational ground. They can play some games there, but usually they just lay on the ground and talk with each other. There is a telescope they can use.

Recreational ground

There’s a park near the Wammy’s – 20 minutes by foot, but they usually use bicycles to get there.

Only those age 13 or up can go there. They can’t go alone, but always with someone. If someone age 11 or up wants to go, they need to be accompanied by someone age 16 or up, because those of 13-14-15 might not pay attention to them that much, even if they say, “yes, of course”.

For extra measure, Watari has the numbers of those who live near the park, that can contact him in case something happens. Those under 11 can’t go there under no circumstances. I decided this because the roads that take to the park are not safe for riding bicycles, and there is an age limit for doing that on the road.

Other than the necessary stuff for riding the bicycles, they have a tag with the number of the Wammy’s and a bag with Wammy’s insignia on it, because I did create it. It was just a vision in my mind, but I did a draft using picsart and color, so here you go. It’s not well made, since the lines of the ribbon banner are not straight. The ribbon banner I took from Google had such a bad quality that I could see each pixels (like in the first picture), so I had to draw over the border to make it more full.

The picture on the left was the first version.

The first idea was to have a W with an H behind it, like this.

But I decided to change it, also because it has all the letters of Watari.

Everything that is propriety of the Wammy’s House has this on.

SUCCESSOR PROGRAMME

Premise

First and foremost, I don’t like the idea of Watari being the one to impose it on everyone, without any regard for what they want to do, because I think he’s experienced enough with kids to know that you can't just force them to do something. They won’t. You can coerce them by using violence and threats, but none of the kids that we know of showcase any sign of being physically abused.

It’s also important to note that not everyone in the Wammy’s is competitive. Mello is the only one who wants to be at the top. Matt and Linda don’t care, and neither does Near. He is just first because he is that smart. However, this is after.

Competitiveness is more prevalent in the system I had created, because being in the Apex means not having to follow classes or have to listen to teachers. That’s the prime reason for why people want to reach it. It’s not about prestige, because I don’t think the kids, especially younger ones, have that concept wired in their brain. And usually, as a self-preservation technique, people tend to consider negative something they cannot reach/have and that opinion is automatically applied to those who can enjoy it, which makes them want to stay away from it so nobody thinks that of them, but if they had the chance to join it, they would take it in a heartbeat.

E.g., imagine someone that wants to go to a water park, but they find out that the entrance costs a lot or it’s far away. They are more likely to think, “well, it wasn’t that good to being with” or that it’s only for rich bastards or something, rather than accept that it just happens. They will even talk badly about it to others. However, if they manage to get in, they will enjoy every second of it.

So, in this case, while advancement is okay, getting to the higher position is pretty much a curse, because if you act in a certain way that is redeemed rude, then the reason is considered to be your status.

In my fic, when A and B got in to the Apex, people started to have a negative opinion of them. They have always been on their own, but since they are now reserved AND in the Apex, then it’s because they think too highly of themselves and less of others, which makes people find them some times annoying, even when they are doing nothing wrong. They might still interact with them nicely, but that doesn’t mean they like them.

Secondly, the general theme of the Death Note is that people are responsible for their own downfall in a way, so I’m going to follow that when it comes to its establishment and organisation.

L's idea

Unlike others in the fandom, I consider A and B to be older than L (4 years apart), so the successor programme was first tasted out when L was living there. Decided this because I want him to see what he caused, and for the reasons in the post I hyperlinked.

I have a kind of specific yet not definitive idea of how L’s life before the Wammy’s was. I won’t write all down because I don’t think it’s that important. The only part that is, is the fact that he managed to stop a terroristic attack to get Watari’s attention, because “go big or go home”, and he was the one who decided to establish the successor programme.

Establishment

When he arrived at the Wammy’s, he wanted immediately to get down to business, and asked Watari to talk to the smartest people there: A and B, together.

L introduced the idea for “when I’m away”, as in “when I am taking a break” – because I imagine him to ramble about his career to Watari in the days they stayed together before going back to the Wammy’s and on the 8-10 hours long trip, and Watari pointed out to him that he needed to have time to play/free time, and L said that he was right, that he’d put someone in his place for that time, he’d teach them what he knew, because he was very good at it, he was basically justice itself for how many things he knew – but A and B took that as in “when he dies”.

It was in that moment that L took everything more seriously. They talked for hours. A and B asked him lots of questions about that project, the possibility of that to happen, and how to make sure that it can last for a long time.

And while the conversation started as more of an abstract idea, after L showed them what he managed to do, they were both impressed and eager to learn to be able to do the same. They too had an interest in solving riddles, and… C’mon, it’s cool to be a detective, especially one that was supposed to be the greatest.

They discussed the technicalities and decided not to limit themselves only to two members, so that’s how the successor programme was actually created. It was also A and B to decide their own names, because they said that, since he’s called L, they too should have they own letters, and, while talking, they said, “I would be an alternative” and “if you are that, then I’ll be your backup”, so that’s how they got them.

Basically, it started with L, but A and B became co-owners of this programme in a way, and L didn’t mind it, because they were older than him, seemed wiser, and he looked up to them in a way.

For the others, the letters were chosen in two different ways: the first five smartest people there would be the first letters of the alphabet, while the others would have their own letter based on their real name, because five people were enough.

And I say, “smartest people”, but A and B advised L to look for other qualities other than that, because you can have someone that is extremely intelligent, but if they are extremely reckless too, then that detective persona is doomed to fail.

All three of them talked to kids in grades 4-5-6 and the Apex (in my fic, there are other two people here) about this project, but they weren’t obliged to accept. They let L speak, who explained what they were planning to do, showed them what he did, and gave them the choice to accept or not. If they didn’t accept, they would ask them to not divulge the information they discussed. In my fic, no one actually says no, because they think it’s awesome.

In case they accepted, he granted them a wish, something that he would fulfil, so that, if they wouldn’t get chosen, at least they wouldn’t think they wasted time. It’s a quality I noticed in L, while reading the manga. I explained it in my long post about the characters: he compensates his actions, which I think it’s something he picked up as he started to be interested in solving cases (before he arrived at the Wammy’s), because he saw what criminals had to do after they got caught doing something bad, and wasting people’s time is bad.

So, everyone had a choice and L, initially, worked mostly with the first five people in the successor programme, but not immediately.

In my fic, there is the MC that tries to destroy him and his project, but even without her, it makes sense that he would take time, years even, to make sure this project can operate without any vulnerabilities. He’s far-sighted and took things more seriously, thanks to A and B’s inputs, so he wanted to create a solid foundation for this detective persona and the project.

However, he didn’t spend all his time thinking about that, because he is also a child, so he experienced a bit of his childhood: he participated in Wammy’s activities, played with the other kids, spent his time picking and giving up interests, etc. He even had tennis practices and tournaments, so it’s not like he just solved cases. He still did – smaller ones – but not all the goddamn time. He was also into stocks, and he had to pay attention to that too.

To me, he started when he was 12-13 to solve them periodically, but not publicly, just to have some credibility in the eyes of England’s law enforcement, that could then recommend him to other national law enforcement, slowly building up his empire.

There wasn’t this urgency or this pressure to be like him. It was like a long-period plan that still had to show its fruits. L wouldn’t even tell all the members everything he solved – just the first five, because he would give them the case files to practice their skills.

ALTERNATIVE / A

So, he was older than L and participated to the establishment of the successor programme.

For the first years, he didn’t actually think too much about it, but as he was slowly approaching being 18, he started to have doubts about his abilities, because, as said before, L gave him case files to solve and he wasn’t able to get any of them entirely right. He still didn’t want to admit defeat and be a disappointment in the other eyes’, so he tried times and times again. This had an impact on his mental health, of course.

L noticed this change in attitude and told him that he can switch places with B. He had no problem with it, but A, instead of admitting that he wasn’t fit for the position, preferred to argue with him, damaging their relation.

The situation was really heavy for him, and since telling the truth was worse than anything else, his first attempt to leave it was by running away from the Wammy’s. That didn’t go well, because B, with a group of people there, managed to find him. A invented some kind of excuse, that he was being followed and didn’t want to bring them to the orphanage. B didn’t buy it, and they too started to argue.

So, in that case, telling the truth was worse than death and he couldn’t bear the idea of being a complete failure, and killed himself.

That’s how I see how things went, more or less. And L was blamed for it. The successor programme was interrupted, and some of them decided not to participate anymore, even though they could always return, once and if it would be resumed.

L left the Wammy’s the same year, before turning 14, which is important, because B kills a 13-years old girl by bashing her head, and that what I think he wanted to do to L (in my fic, it’s him and the MC, but whatever) at that time, but couldn’t.

In my fic, A’s name at the Wammy’s is Natal, because it means birth/birthday. And B’s name is Elioenai, which means “towards him are my eyes”. Now, this can have different interpretations: the “eyes” could mean the Shinigami eyes and “him” could be Natal, or L. I am not sure how much I consider him having the Shinigami eyes to be canon. It’s an interesting concept, but I don’t understand how that would be possible, like what led to that and what else does it mean for B? Is he part Shinigami? Or his mother had wild sex with a Shinigami, that then got some type of punishment by the King, because it’s against the rules?

I don’t know, so I don’t count them as canon, to be honest. Cool, but I don’t get it.

For me, Beyond Birthday means also “After Natal”.

BEYOND BIRTHDAY / B

I don’t believe he went completely insane after A’s death. In my mind, he was always kind of shady, ruthless, based on survival instinct and self-preservation. He had an attachment to A, but he had no problem to consider him also a tool that he could use and then discard, if he needed to. He loved him, but he always prioritized himself, at the end of the day.

I associate to them the betrayal trope - Was It All a Lie?

If things went differently and A became L, that would not last long, because B would kill him so that he could succeed him, and nobody would question it, because they wouldn’t know what truly happened.

A’s death screwed up his plan and blamed L for it. He wanted to take his place, but he first needed his detective persona to be well established. He let L do the hard work to create it. A mostly gave some inputs to help him, while B supervised it, to make sure that everything was going according to his plan.

Since A was chosen as first successor, he couldn’t convince him to switch places, because he didn’t want him and L to have the impression that he really wanted that.

He honestly believed that L would be the first one to crack, because he was younger, but when A died and the project stalled for an indefinite period of time, he couldn’t take it. He planned his life to go in a certain way, but now L wouldn’t work as L anymore for an indefinite time, making no progress, and the project was a big question mark, without any information on when or if it would be resumed? That made him see red.

If he couldn’t become L, then nobody deserved it, and he decided to impersonate L and ruin his career. If he had managed to kill himself in Another Note, while Misora still believed him to be L, then that would’ve had irreparable damages to L’s credibility (Misora would tell Raye, who would tell to the FBI, and etc.), and L would’ve needed a lot of time to get that trust back.

That’s one of my interpretations of the LABB case, because I can’t really explain why B decided to that. We take for granted that the Another Note is canon, given also the praise by Ohba, but… It’s not. I have a hard time to consider things about L published after the manga conclusion canon, because they usually follow the fandom’s reaction. I consider the two one shots about Near canon, because Near has never had the same kind of fanbase L did and does, so it’s easy to not be influenced by what other people think.

In Another Note’s case, it’s also written by someone else and, even though it might be weird to say it, it’s a fanfiction in my eyes, that Ohba considers canon because he is lazy, and couldn’t come up with any type of case L solved. He said that himself.

I pick and choose, basically. I could also throw Another Note out the window, with A and B, and pretend they don’t even exist, and I wouldn’t be “wrong” in doing so, but I like them, even though some parts of the novel leave me confused, because it contradicts the canon.

AFTER A'S DEATH

I haven’t thought about this too much. I have just a general idea of the fact that the orphanage got restructured in some way, but don’t know what exactly changed. It’s just my gut feeling telling me that, as well as saying that the grade system got replaced by a simple graduation list, who ranked the kids based on points they gathered during the year by doing tests, and etc. Can’t go in-depth, because there is nothing here that I actually explored. It isn’t important in my fic, so I haven’t paid too much attention to that. I might start to think about it in the future, but I still want to submit my answer.

It gets tricky when it comes to who decided that Mello and Near are meant to be his successors. It makes sense that it would be something imposed to them, but they seem to want it. Near takes on the title of his successor and even tells Light that he is that, meaning that he does not despise it. Mello clearly wants to be the best, and the best in his eyes is L, and I think this is due to the fact that L, during their time, is an established figure in the world and they want to be like him. He came from the Wammy’s, which tells them that they can reach that level of grandiosity.

In the 2013 “It’s not about justice" one-shot, it said that some of the kids lose respect for L and keep their distance, so it is not mandatory for everyone to be part of the successor programme. Maybe even here, it’s mainly for the best in the institution, so that position was offered to Near, Mello and Matt (third in line).

Mello accepted for obvious reasons. Near because he likes to solve puzzles. Matt because, “yeah, why not”, but never believed that he would ever end up actually taking on that role, because Mello was in front of him.

Here, they are not given letters in an alphabetical order, so there isn’t a first or a second for L’s position (it exists only inside the Wammy’s), and it ties well with what I said before about A and B. A felt like he needed to become L and couldn’t back down or ask for help because he was "A", but now, who feels fit will take on L’s role and can also work with the other, without feeling like they need to do things alone.

I doubt L would make the same mistake twice and impose such job on only one person. Besides, I don’t think L believed to die that young, so while they taught them some important skills to be a detective, the idea was that they will become L later in life – in their 40/50s. Unfortunately, L died young and so even the successors were young.

Maybe it’s just naivety on my part, and the interpretation of the majority in this fandom of the Wammy’s House, Watari and the Successor Programme is more accurate than mine.

Of course, characters’ individual experience of the Wammy’s can be absolutely horrendous and they are not fond of the institution, but I don’t think Wammy’s House was born or became as something meant to create copies of L, especially because Near and Mello’s, as well as Matt and Linda’s, personalities and thought processes aren’t a carbon copy of his. They are their own people, in some way.

That’s all I had to say. I think I wrote enough to get a grasp of my idea of everything, even though there are some parts that I did not disclose or aren’t definitive. So, keep that in mind – I might as well wake up one day and decide to consider Wammy’s a factory of Ls, that resembles the common depiction of Hell in cartoons, but I highly doubt it.

Hope you like it. Let me know. And thank you for the ask, as always.

I kept thinking who you might be, based on when you sent the asks and my notifications around that time – maybe to find a correlation (e.g., you read something I wrote and thought of talking about that) – and I identified some accounts. Some of them are mutuals, that I can now exclude. The other non-mutuals that ship L/Light but have views that are different from yours. So, when I said that maybe I know who you might be, I think I was wrong, so I am quite curious to find out the truth.

Take care, E.H.

#as always - hopefully my english is good lmao #thx again #death note #death note meta #l lawliet #beyond birthday #wammy's house #quillish wammy #watari #roger ruvie #mihael keehl #alternative #mail jeevas #nate river #dn.inbox #dn.general

[very-much-asleep]

𝐋 ➝ 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷⟷

Let’s be honest here. It’s probably not going to be a very healthy relationship. (He doesn’t treat you badly, per se; it’s more a case of him not treating you in the first place.)

The reason I say probably is that if you knew each other from a very, very young age and grew up together in Wammy’s House, you both trust each other enough with your emotions and secrets to be more open to each other, and be aware of the other’s needs and habits. In this instance, you may have a shot at having a semi-normal relationship (if we ignore the fact that you hardly ever see each other and are always attending to your respective jobs.)

In any other case, and you meet later, even if L really, really loves you, he won’t open up to you. 

Well, maybe he will a tiny bit—he might invite you to help him on his cases and occasionally ask you for any input just to see what you say, but he will never go as far to tell you his real name or open up to you emotionally. One reason may be that he cares about you: knowing all this about him could put you in danger, and if possible, he’d rather avoid that, but the main reason is that he simply doesn’t trust you enough.

Again, if you did grow up together when you were very young, you probably told each other all this before you each became so guarded, meaning that you’re open to each other and already know each other’s secrets. But in any other circumstance, not a chance.

Also (again, unless it’s that particular childhood friends scenario), he’s willing to put you in danger to gather information or solve a case. He will definitely hesitate at first, yes, and try his hardest to find another way around it, but if it comes down to it and there really are no alternative options, he would sacrifice you or put you in harm’s potential way if it means solving his case. He would be very relieved if nothing happens and you come out unscathed, but it’s a risk he’s willing to take if the odds of you getting harmed are low.

(Obviously, he won’t throw you into harm’s way for the sake of it and without thinking through the odds of this plan working, and if the cons outweigh the pros he would never do it, but if there’s a big enough chance for this course of action to work and no other options, he will seize it.)

He’s also very emotionally distant (once again, unless it’s that specific scenario.) He’s very busy and has hardly any time for himself, much less other people. If you have some problem, he will try to help, but this help usually comes in the form of logical solutions to fix your problem, and not emotional support. He may try to make you feel better—perhaps share a sweet with you—but he won’t be very good at verbal comfort. If he’s particularly busy, he will still pick up on your mood with ease, but may not pay any attention to helping you through it until the case is solved.

He makes sure you’re well-attended to in everyday life; he sets aside lots of funds should you ever need them, and keeps you close enough so that he can keep an eye on you when he’s busy, but unless you’re working on a case together, he rarely visits you, and you rarely see him. Sometimes you have the occasional phone call, but mostly it’s silence.

If you are working on the same case, he will appreciate having you near him and working with you, but this happens rarely. 

Basically, you need to be ready for him to be this distant—both physically and emotionally—if you want to be in a relationship with him. If you’re someone who craves emotional intimacy and closeness, this won’t work out for you.

By this point, you may think that he doesn’t care all that much about you. However, in what feels like once in a million years, there are brief, shining moments when he shows that he does care. He may come to you after a long case to find some peace in your arms, or ensure that you get a good night’s rest when you insist on staying with him throughout the night while he’s working on a case. Maybe he’ll share some cake with you.

The thing is, L does care. He really, really does. But after a lifetime of only knowing logic and facts, he doesn’t know how to soften himself to accept the imperfect and confusing nature of love. He doesn’t know how to show it, how to show you that he cares besides making sure you’re safe whenever possible and spending the occasional moment with you when he can. He wants to trust you with his identity, with his feelings, with his name; but he can’t. He can never bring himself to, because he just doesn’t know how. 

And he does sometimes get apprehensive—scared, one might go as far to say—that you’ll leave. That you’ll finally tire of the unjust way he treats you, and how he seems to care more about his cases and spend more time with his suspects than with you. Somewhere, deep down, he’s afraid that one day, you’ll go and never return.

Of course, he has the means to forcefully keep you by his side; but he could never do that. If you leave, he has no right to stop you or change your mind, because he knows that he’s the one in the wrong, and forcing you to stay would make him no better than those he spends his time—time he should be spending with you—on catching.

Sometimes he wonders why you haven’t done it yet: just walked out and left. It would be so easy. He wonders why you’re still here; why you’ve stayed. He wonders why you love him in the first place.

He is a monster, after all. A liar. And why should such a monster be worthy of love?

Now, these few moments of vulnerability don’t excuse how neglectful he usually is, or how coldly he can treat you; but he does love you. He may not know why—and perhaps he never will—but what he does know is that his feelings for you exist, and they are very, very true.

He only hopes that one day, he may be able to learn how to love like you do.

#sleep’s collection ➝ headcanons #death note x reader #l x reader #l lawliet x reader

[lumiolivierlithium]

Tell Me I'm Pretty

Day 20 of 31 of Kinktober

Prompt: Crossdressing

Word Count: 1508

It shouldn't have gotten to him, but L was tired of the snide comments people made about him. And he needed a change.

L wasn’t much.  He knew that aside from his intelligence, he wasn’t much.  He knew he looked like something that crawled out of a gutter or haunted children’s nightmares.  It was something Mello had told him regularly while they were at Wammy’s together.  But it never got to him.  It wasn’t something he fixated on.  Until one day, a true Adonis walked into his life.  An absolute beauty that did things to him no one could ever do before.  And that’s when he started to realize it.

L and Light would go out on dates and L could hear the whispers at the next table over.  Who the homeless guy was with Light, how did someone like L get into one of the nicest places in Tokyo, which swamp did he claw his way out of.  He heard them.  All of them.  And more often than not, he wrote them off.  But they hit.  And they hit hard.  And telling himself they were only threatened by his intelligence only worked for so long.

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he needed help.  Not Watari.  He wouldn’t understand.  He would tell him that his vanity wasn’t important or some empty platitudes of how he was fine just the way he was.  Everything that would sound helpful to an outsider looking in, but never to the person it’s said to.  So, he did something that he knew would be like throwing gasoline on a dumpster fire.  But he was already a dumpster fire, so it felt fitting.

The day had come to an end at task force headquarters.  Light had managed to cut out early to go to his night classes.  And it was quiet in the main room.  With the exception of L at the monitors.  And Misa on the couch in her pajamas with a magazine in her lap.  That she just happened to be on the cover of.  She wore a bright red dress and looked like her eyes could kill.  Misa had a confidence that L secretly envied.  And he knew that what would happen next would only breed disaster, but his scientific curiosity persevered more than his apprehension.

“Misa,” L broke the still silence in the room, “Can I ask you a trivial question?”

“A trivial question?” Misa perked up, “Really?  That’s a little out of your wheelhouse, don’t you think, Ryuzaki?”

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“Of course,” Misa allowed, putting her magazine down, “What’s on your mind?”

“Would you call me attractive?” L wondered.

Misa froze, not sure where L was going with this.  It was something so out of left field that it truly stunned her, “Um…Ryuzaki, are you ok, sweetie?  Do you need to talk?”

“I want your honest opinion,” L insisted, “There are no tricks.  Merely a yes or no question.  Even you can handle those.”

“Even me?” Misa scoffed, “Wow.  I feel loved.”

“So?” L ignored her pathetic attempts at pouting and appealing to his kindness, “Would you?”

“Well,” Misa looked him over, “Yeah.  I guess.”

“Enough to have Light?”

“That actually threw me for a loop,” Misa admitted, “I had a feeling Light wasn’t just into girls, but I didn’t think you were going to be his type.  What’s the matter?  What’s bringing this on?”

“On our last date,” L sighed out, “Someone was talking about how I was Light’s charity case.  And it kind of got under my skin a little.”

“Really?” Misa gasped, “You?  Since when do you give a shit about 1.) what you look like and 2.) what other people say?”

“I don’t know,” L hated himself for it.  He knew he shouldn’t let it bother him.  He knew he would never see those people again and that their opinion didn’t matter.  The only one that did was Light’s.  But that didn’t make it sting any less, “But it just…I don’t know.  It’s not like me not to know.”

“I have an idea,” Misa bit the inside of her cheek, “But you have to trust me.  Ok?”

L could feel it in the pit of his stomach.  This couldn’t possibly go well.  But he was desperate, “Ok.  What did you have in mind?”

“Come with me,” Misa took his hand, “Do you know what time Light gets out of class?”

“Nine o’clock,” L remembered.

“We have time,” Misa smiled, “Come on.”

And so, Misa got to work.  She knew what she needed to do.  Did L?  No.  Of course not.  If he knew, he wouldn’t have been going to Misa in the first place.  But Misa would have some semblance of a vision.  Something that would get Light’s attention.  Something that would make people shut up.  Something that would bring L back to life again.  Anything to pull him out of the spiral that consumed his thoughts for the last few days.

When Light got out of class, he went right back to the tower.  After scanning himself in, he took a quick look around the war room.  And to his surprise, it was empty.  I’m pretty sure I left him right here.  He was watching the monitors.  I know damn well he didn’t do something silly like go to bed.  Light laughed to himself, the memory of many nights where he had to carry L on his shoulder like a baby to get him to bed warming his heart like nothing else.  So, Light checked over the cameras, hoping he could find L.  Nothing.  Where the hell did you go?

Light wrote it off as a glitch in the security system and went upstairs.  His lecture was nearly lulling him to sleep.  Between classes and the investigation, he was wrecked.  But there was a little twist.  He walked in to the softest, sweetest little angel on his bed.  And he wasn’t sure what to think about it, but he also wasn’t complaining.

“Welcome home, Light,” L smiled, the skirt of his bright, white dress billowing out under him.  Or, more accurately, Misa’s dress.  It’s not like L had it hiding in the back of his closet.  But there was a certain purity about him.  And something about it scratched an itch in Light’s head that he didn’t know existed.

Still, blissfully unaware of L’s motives and a touch paranoid, Light wrote it off, “Let me guess.  Misa got bored and got a hold of you, didn’t she?”

“Not entirely,” L confessed, pulling Light onto the bed, “I did ask nicely.”

“You did what?” Light looked at him strangely, his heartbeat shooting up.

“You heard me,” L got comfortable in Light’s lap already feeling him against the skirt, “Light, tell me I’m pretty.”

“What’s this all about?” Light started to worry, “This isn’t you.”

“What?” L felt his heart drop into his stomach, “You don’t like it…?”

“It’s not you,” Light cradled L’s cheek in the palm of his hand, “I know you, L.  You don’t ever have to impress me.  You already have a million times over.  So, forgive me if I’m a little concerned.”

“I let voices in my head take over,” L cuddled into him, “And worse yet, I let Misa take advantage of them.  I learned the hard way tonight that I am not meant for corsets.  How Misa deals with them is absolutely astonishing.”

“L,” Light snuck in a little kiss, “I’m flattered you wanted to do something like this for me, but you never have to.  Don’t forget that.  Ok?”

L managed to muster up a smile, his head comfortably snuggled into Light’s shoulder, “Thank you, Light.  You know, I’ve been rattling around all these different ideas that have been gnawing away at me for the last couple days.  But I think you just said all I needed to hear.”

“And for the record,” Light picked L’s chin up, getting a much deeper kiss out of him, “I think you are very pretty.  And the dress was a nice touch.”

“Thank you,” L shivered as Light’s wrist pushed the skirt of his dress up his thigh, “And…What are we going to do about it?”

“You’re not just pretty, L,” Light whispered in his ear, finding the lacy panties Misa gave him, “You’re the smartest person I know.  You figure it out.”

“I think,” L pulled the panties down and threw them to the floor.  Only to straddle Light’s thighs, “I’m turning you on.”

“Really?” Light held L steady with one arm and undid the button on his pants with the free hand, “And what gave that away?”

L buried his face in Light’s neck, leaving kisses in his wake, “The fact that you’re rock fucking solid for me already.  I bet with a few nice words and a little grinding, I can have you coming awfully quick.”

“And leave you aching?” Light awed, letting out a little moan, “Of course not.  I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Alright then,” L laid back on the bed, his legs wide and a smirk on his face, “Then, show me what you can do to me…”

#dnkinktober #kinktober 2023 #kinktober #death note #death note fan fiction #lawlight #and hold onto your hats kids #because i think i got lawlight lined up for tomorrow's #checks prompt list #nope! #something different!

[truly-hopeless]

Hi! That's impressive list! Can I pick two? I couldn't decide only on one, lol. So... Love Notes and vampire!L the undying detective? ^^

Sure thing; you are the first person to send me a real ask (all other times it was a bot advertising an adult website) so I'm happy.

Love Notes is an AU where, instead of a Death Note, Light gets a notebook that allows him to make two (or more) people feel infatuation towards each other. And because Light is Light, who is a perfectionist and a closet hopeless romantic in this universe, he's not content to just put random people together for one date, uses the Love Note to send detailed instructions to one or more of the lovebirds in order to make sure the relationship lasts. This earns him the nickname Eros (after the Greek god of love) and there's a mix of people who are either happy he's around and hoping that he can help them in their love life or pissed that he's meddling instead of letting relationships succeed or fail on their own merits (with a few people just being bitter that Eros isn't helping them find a partner even though Light knows they're trash). And things only get more complicated when L announces that he plans to capture Eros and that he knows he's in Japan and Light notices that there is a marking on his wrist that Ryuk (who is an actual love god in this universe instead of a death god) tells him it is a soulmate marking that appears on human Love Note users and their intendeds when they "meet." I'm still in the prologue/first chapter (haven't updated this in a while since it's one of the ones in the Dropbox folder and I feel I can't be bothered to fully retrieve it), but I see parts of the plot playing out like the Eros/Psyche myth, specifically a falling out that happens between Light and L (after they've become close) when L finds proof Light is Eros while he's asleep, while not being a one-to-one retelling (there is no abduction/marriage plot from Light [keeping a partner in a lavish palace and visiting them at night with the lights out is more something L would be more likely to do than Light, let's be honest], there is no Aphrodite equivalent, and I don't see any of the Wammy House students [except maybe Beyond] trying to ruin L's chances at love like Psyche's sisters did to her).

The Undying Detective is a bit more complicated. I started it a little before the other Vampire!L AU because I knew that I wanted to write a fic where L was a vampire, but was still trying to figure out the how and the why and I ended up leaving it after sometime (haven't deleted it because there's always a chance I'll pick it up again, but I haven't added to it or changed it in about two years). I will share what I wrote and then also share what I wanted to happen but could not find the words to convey it:

"Please Ryuzaki," Light begged. "If you're right and the thirteen day rule is false, then Kira likely meant for you to figure it out to have you killed the moment you challenge it."

"How would Kira kill me, Light-kun? Kira does not have my name. Misa Amane has not been allowed back into headquarters since she left and the only ones allowed in here are members of the Task Force and you. Unless there's something you would like to tell me."

Light's heart broke. This again? After all this time? "The Shinigami Rem seems very protective of Misa and she has her own Death Note. The only reason I'm no longer handcuffed to you and Misa was allowed to leave was because that rule 'proved' our innocence. With Kira being active again and no other suspects, suspicion would fall back on us if the rule is proven false and you would likely execute us. Rem might kill you to try to prevent you from killing Misa. But of course," Light let out a bitter laugh, "you don't care about that as long you're able to 'prove' I'm Kira once and for all. Why do I even--?"

He suddenly slipped on a wet spot and fell to the concrete, his arm scraping painfully against the railing.

"You're bleeding."

"Oh, really? Thank you for pointing it out to me, I never would have known." Light hissed in pain as he touched his injury. There was a lot more blood than he was expecting and it almost made him sick.

"Sarcasm does not suit you." L held out his hand to Light and helped him up. "Come on, we've been out here long enough."

He helped Light dry off and he started treating the scraped area. His bony hands were surprisingly gentle as he disinfected the cut and wrapped a bandage around it.

"I just want to know the truth, Light." Light took note of the dropped honorific. "I no longer believe you're Kira, but I believe that you have been keeping secrets."

"Like what?"

"Such as how you know my real name."

Oh no. "What are you talking about? I don't--"

"Please don't lie to me. You said my name in your sleep the night before Higuchi was caught. You did not say 'L' or 'Ryuzaki.' You said 'Lawliet,' my last name. The only living people who know that name are me and Watari. How do you know it?"

Light sighed. He'd been dreading this moment, knowing that by telling L this he risked either getting committed or earning the detective's scorn and he didn't know which was worse. But if telling him the truth would prevent L from killing himself, it would be worth it.

After checking to make sure Rem was no where in earshot, he confessed, "For as long as I can remember, possibly the day I was born, I've been able to see a name and a number over people's heads. The names are the true names and the numbers are when they are going to die. I cannot see when I will die, but I can see when my family and friends will die and knowing that has made me feel so alone. I was unable to tell anyone about it because I knew I wouldn't be believed. The loneliness grew when Kira started killing, with people suddenly dying before their time and me becoming your prime suspect. There was a brief time where I thought that I found someone who understood what I was going through--"

"Misa Amane."

"Yes. She was like me, she could see the names and numbers as well and also lacked her own number. She approached me and told me she loved me and I believed her. But I soon learned that she loved Kira more and that she had only approached me in the first place because she thought I was him. And then you locked both of us up because you believed we were the first and second Kira and when I next saw her she was no longer like me and couldn't even remember why she started dating me, leaving me feeling alone once again.

"I at first resented you for this, for taking away my freedom and somehow making Misa and I no longer have anything in common, and the sixty days of solitary confinement and having my father pretend he was going to kill me certainly didn't help endear you to me. But the more time I spent with you as we looked Kira and the more I learned about you as you started to opening up to me, I became comfortable around you and I... I fell in love with you, L. But I couldn't bring myself to tell you the truth before now because I was afraid. Afraid that it would serve as a confession to you that I was Kira and afraid that you would hate me for being so unnatural. But none of that matters now. You can arrest me and execute me if that will satisfy you. Just please do not throw your life away."

L was silent for a long moment after he tied off the bandage. He just stared at Light with those large dark eyes.

Finally, he said, "I appreciate your honesty and concern, Light. But I still need to test the rule. It's the only way the Task Force will understand and the only way to get closer to catching Kira. If you're not Kira and Amane-san has become Kira again, then she has to know by now who the original Kira is. We can try to make a deal with the Shinigami in order to learn his identity, but I doubt she will trust me. Promise me that you will make sure the rule is tested when I die."

"Don't talk like that! Like it's already too late!"

"It is. We will be parting ways very soon, I can feel it. But you have nothing to fear. I know that you can finish this case in my absence and if the Task Force refuses to cooperate, you'll have help from some friends of mine, friends that Kira does not know about. Will you promise to catch Kira when I'm gone?"

"I will."

L smiled. Then he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Light's. After a moment of hesitation, Light returned the kiss, his fingers tangling in the detective's hair as tears fell down his face.

---------

"Everyone, the Shinigami--!" L then clutched his chest as if in pain, the spoon he was using to stir his tea slipping from his other hand as he started falling.

Light ran forward and caught L and looked down at him.

No, please no! Not like this!

L squeezed Light's hand, a sad smile on his face as he saw the younger man's tears.

"Sorry...it had to...end...like this." It seemed to hurt for him to speak. His eyes began to close. "You're...not Kira. I wish I..."

His heart stopped beating and Light saw the name "L Lawliet" disappear along with the remaining years he should have lived.

From here, I had in mind that the other Task Force members start dropping dead too until only Light is left. Misa enters, as does Kira (Teru Mikami, because he's my usual go-to for an alternate Kira), and they give Light a choice: join them or die. Light is horrified, but is also pissed off and heartbroken that he lost his father, several of his friends, and the love of his life, and calls both of them out, daring them to kill him. One of them strikes him, causing Light to stumble and hit his head hard enough to draw blood. Several of the drops land on L and, without anyone noticing, seeps into his skin.

The last thing Light sees before he passes out, believing that he will die, is L standing up and preventing Mikami from writing his name down by breaking his wrist. When he wakes up again, L tells him that the Kiras are in custody and awaiting trial. While Light is glad that L is back, he's still grieving the deaths of the other Task Force members and is concerned that he can no longer see L's name at all and that neither of them know why that is, or why L is hungry/thirsty all the time no matter how much he eats.

The rest of the story would be them figuring out that L is a vampire and trying to navigate everything from there. I might come back to this someday, but I have too much going on at this time.

#asks #death note #alternate universes #lawlight #l lawliet #light yagami #vampire!L #alternate magic notebook #Eros/Psyche story elements #fanfiction #fanfiction ideas #writing

[eleonoraw]

Wammi's house! You have a WIP that is Lawlight at Wammy's house? Yesssss. Pls share ♥?

Hi anon! Thanks for your ask :)

This one is really funny (in a way, I guess??)

So....

L is a cultivated genius (first from many, everyone after him will be next L) orphan, raised by Quillsh Wammi (Watari made house for the orphans, kids from arround the world) in England, trains them to be geniuses and to work in warious spheres arround the world and some of them trying to make L's successors.

He trained L to be emotionless, calculating, logical. He teached L to hold his sexual urges on the leash, only alowing him to get sexual pleasure from paying him for sex with women (without atachement, without emotions. All women are just proffesional and paid no to attach themselves to L, lol). Watari picks them himself, and it "seems" that L doesn't mind it. He is used to it. In a way, because he doesn't know for anything different. Watari tried to "censor" all the romantic stuff (so L don't get idea about the romance and love and stuff…) so no romance novels in Wammis house. Watari blocked most of the romantic - love sites, but he knew he couldn't block it all, so he teached that love and romance is for 'losers'. He showed and explained to kids what is it - that it was nothing good (cruel I know, but Watari is his own case).

L will at the end meet Light (he wont be aware that he is actually bisexual, because he never thought about it. He felt attraction towards men too, but never mentioned that to anyone).

B gets attracted to L, but L rejects him, because they are banned of having any kind of relationship in the Wammis house and L decided not to act on feelings (he was also attracted to B a bit, but decided not to show it. He was busy with the cases and he cared only about them).

B gets frustrated and decides to run away from the house and then he becomes criminal to survive on his own (therefore, because he is able to see people's names, he decides to use that talent to his advantage and earn money).

_

L and B are not the only ones who gets to feel something more (something that they shouldn't feel) Mello and Matt start to have an "affair" in secret.

A gets her crush on B. B rejects her because of L. She kills herself and B blames himself for it (it happens before he left).

Some other kids as they grow, and enter the puberty, are surviving the same (crushes and stuff).

Not as planned for Watari. He realizes this too late. (Not sure when?)

_

Light doesn't pick up DN (or does but don't use it…) He meets L when there's Kira case ongoing. Since L will be far away from home and close to Light he decides to bring him in the house so Light can work alongside him (it's of course an excuse, since they will be doing other stuff too, lol).

Watari of course doesn't like it but it happens because L want it to happen.

From that time some BIG changes in the house happen.

#death note #lawlight #light yagami #l lawliet #death note au #death note fanfiction #fic ideas #wip meme #my writing #watari #quillish wammy #wammys house

[litterateur97]

sorry to drop in your inbox like this lol, but considering that Coil's appearance is unknown, wouldn't it be hard for Kira to kill him? I think people would believe that the only person that could know it is L, since they go to him to try to get information about him (as if they have a close relation somehow). So, if Coil gets killed, it means that something also happened to L. Not necessarily that he died, but that maybe L decided to ally himself with Kira (to get rid of competition?), which would understandably ruin L's reputation. But this is just from outsiders' point of view, because Light and the task force know that L was them two, and if they want to perfectly hide that he died, they need to keep working as them to not raise any eyebrows. Coil and Deneuve were also as safety measures for L, to not get his identity revealed, and it's not like people stopped trying to get to L after he died and Light took his place.

This ask is a mess, but I would love to hear more from you - like, how would that work, if they just dropped them?

Hello, thank you for the ask!

That's all a really good point, I could see them needing to continue the facade to at least make sure no one was trying to uncover L's identity by hiring the two, but it also depends on how active L was as Coil and Deneuve.

We don't really know how often L accepted cases as them, so for them to disappear for long periods of time might be considered normal. We know the last time Coil was "active" was when Aiber was playing as him during the Yotsuba arc.

However, the task force would probably have needed to take on other cases to continue the facade of Coil and Deneuve. All we know by the start of the second arc is that Kira's word is almost law and the task force has gotten nowhere without L. It could be that they were continuing cases on the side, but I doubt it. Light has so much control over them by that point, I feel like all they did was work on the Kira case running around in circles.

So with that in mind, and with how much people had accepted Kira by then, people might think Coil and Deneuve had been murdered by Kira and just accepted it. They might not have even really questioned how it happened, just assuming Kira was all powerful. They were also only the second and third greatest detectives and by this point L, the greatest of them all, was even seen as incompetent. People might have just assumed they retired if it was seen as impossible to kill them. In fact, with what you said I actually think people probably did just assume they retired instead of died.

Another thing to consider is that Coil and Deneuve were real people before L took their codes, what were they doing during this time? Were they even still alive? Did they also get some kind of message from L telling them he died and take back their detective codes and do minor investigative work during the second arc?

Or, with Wammy's House being the only known place to receive the message that L was dead, did the Wammy kids take over the detective codes? I think in the one shot it was mentioned that Near still uses those codes, but I can't remember.

Sorry, I don't think I really answered anything and instead raised more questions lol!

#ask response #thanks for asking! #much to consider here #idk why i just feel like light would have convinced the others not to continue anything as coil and deneuve #to feed the idea that kira was unstoppable and nobody could go toe to toe with him #idk what the general public would have thought of the disappearance #i assume as outsiders they would just think oh they retired or oh they died

[eyecicles]

some bad dn takes for other characters as well?

Sorry this took me so long.

I’ve seen too much over the years I’ve been in the fandom. And while I tried to be as objective as possible (by mostly mentioning stuff that’s objectively inaccurate), this is obviously only my personal perspective. Subscribing to something on my list doesn’t make you inherently stupid/bad, etc.

Worst L takes:

– Ryuzaki Persona theory, especially when it’s combined with disproportionate disgust and hate towards “Ryuzaki” and his mannerisms + directly or indirectly calling him a “breaching experiment”

– L just wanted what's best for humanity, and all his inhumane methods are justified because he's utilitarian or whatever

– he genuinely considered Light his friend and trusted him & sadly got betrayed by him

– he’s so weird in “L: The Wammy's House/One Day” because Ohba and Obata don’t want you to ship Lawlight

– honestly any take that depicts him as the ideal boyfriend material and/or someone who just needs a partner to fix him

(related: “O&O wanted him to be unattractive? but he is conventionally attractive!” can you imagine how boring that would be?)

– he's just as bad as Light/Misa/Mikami/Mello/any character who regularly murders or participates in organised crime

– he's an unhygienic gremlin, stinks, has dirty feet and/or clothes, never washes his hair, probably has broken teeth, etc, in short: everything that depicts him as gross as possible because of his eccentric mannerisms

(about L being barefoot: I'm sure many people don’t know this, but designing eccentric/disordered/mentally ill characters with bare feet to suggest they’re “abnormal” is an old trope, and people’s reactions to characters like him are…telling. I’m not talking about finding the sight of bare feet disgusting, but biases that are worth dissecting)

– he treated Misa better than Light did

– “L would surely have developed diabetes and die at a young age anyway”

– any take that erases his Japanese descent

Worst Misa takes:

– what L and Watari did to Misa was totally justified

– she’s actually pure and has a good heart & just wants love, and Light is a bad person for not reciprocating her feelings

– she should have killed Light for not loving her and assume his role + absorb all his personality traits

– I dislike everything that depicts her in a "Girl Boss” kinda way. It’s so boring, and it feels like certain people can only respect female character if they view them through that lens

– she’s bad for not loving Rem (granted, it is shocking how little she cares for Rem, and their entire dynamic is messy, but I do understand why she never warmed up to her. She certainly doesn’t owe Rem love)

– anything that depicts her as extremely dumb and incompetent

– similar to what I mentioned in L’s list: any take that insinuates that she should have realised L would be a better partner for her

– she actually wasn’t being homophobic when she said two men chained together is gross & asked if L is gay—she was just kinkshaming/jealous, etc (as if this would make what she said less homophobic)

Worst Near takes:

– he’s just a little uwu baby without a single darker trait (he’s certainly more ethical in some regards than most DN characters, but he’s not entirely innocent)

– he’s somehow bad/worse than L because he’s too maladjusted to participate in society

– he’s a bad L copy and doesn’t have any personality traits of his own

– L did all the work for him (no, Near had to start from scratch, since every information on the Kira case got automatically deleted when L died)

– it’s unfair that the Task Force immediately believed Near when he started suspecting Light (first: they didn’t, two: the situation was completely different, third: it would be a huge coincidence if two very smart detective came to the same conclusion by chance)

– he thinks he’s just as competent/more competent than L (even though he said he needed Mello to surpass L & deeply doubts himself during the C-Kira case)

– he performed better than Mello in their exams because he cheated

– he can’t be autistic because he doesn’t have a beard (I only saw this take once, but I still remember it from time to time because it’s hilarious)

Other bad takes:

– Kiyomi deserved what happened to her, because she didn’t see through Light/treated Misa badly/killed Mello, etc

– Mikami wasn’t bullied enough

– Mello is more feminist than (insert male character the person with this take doesn’t like), because he gave Kiyomi a blanket (yeah, let’s just ignore this happened because of his habit of kidnapping women)

– anything that depicts Mello as this constantly raging, thoughtless and choleric who’s always insulting everyone

– B treated Naomi better than Raye Penber

– Rem was dumb for not working with L (hello... L wants to catch Kira, and even if he were to leave Misa alone, Rem knows Misa wouldn’t want anything to happen to Light—that’s an important plot point)

– anything that insinuates DN is supposed to be totally serious, grim and deeply philosophical (or: ”DN wants to be like Breaking Bad/Crime and Punishment!”)

– Soichiro should have been L’s or Matsuda’s father

#l lawliet #misa amane #near

[rnisa]

Beyond Birthday Headcanons

Hi all, just some little Headcanons. Some are general HCs, other are x reader. As much as I love DN, there are too many empty gaps that just weren't filled, leaving so many questions unanswered. These are personal headcanons, you don't have to like them or agree with any - it's purely for my own enjoyment. NOTHING here is factual.

★BB left Wammy's when he was roughly 18. Up until then, he acted as a big brother figure for most of the children. Many looked at him as such, but he was quickly forgotten any time L was brought into the picture.

★ An obvious one, but A's sui'cide hurt him deeply. I don't think BB ever really liked being at Wammy's in the first place. He stayed as long as he did because it provided him certain comforts such as shelter and access to information, food, etc. Basically, it was just easier, and he stayed until he aged out of it. But he never liked the concept of being raised to succeed L. He hated what it did to A. However, he figured as long as he's there, he mind as well make the most of it - explaining the "taking L to the extreme" thing.

★ To add to the above, A's death was the final tipping point, what made him snap. He saw Wammy's as a sick institution rather than a goal.

★At a young age as a kid, he made comments, alluding to him having the Shinigami eyes. Of course he didn't have a name for what he was experiencing, but he asked about, "those numbers floating over your head". I think many adults passed it off as his imagination, but many of the other children found him creepy. Eventually, he stopped bringing it up once he caught on that it wasn't normal. Pretty sure he figured out what his eyes did when he lost both of his parents. He swore he would never love anyone as much as he loved them.

★ I do believe that BB was wrongfully medicated at some points in his life (given medication for things he didn't have, etc.) not out of malice intentionally, just...wrong diagnosis and negligence.

★ I think BB could have been saved. I am deliberately going against the canon here but, I honestly disagree with the ending that, "he was arrested and got killed by Kira in prison". Maybe it's wishful thinking but I could see L taking pity on him, and at least getting him help, hope for reforming him. Perhaps just as he's making significant process, he gets shanked by Kira, but still...I don't think L would have simply thrown his ass in jail and be done with it. Personally, I think L does feel sorrow over A's sui'cide, and is horrified at what BB became. L blames himself in a way. L wanted to save him.

★ ..Then again B could have just gone, "fuck your help I'd rather be in prison and rot," ...

★ After Wammy's house, we know he ends up in America somehow, and L was searching for him. He can't have been much younger than L. I refuse to believe they never...met? I think they did meet at a certain point, perhaps when they were very very small. B's imitation is based on what he thinks L would have grown as into adulthood - to the extreme, of course.

★ I don't think he was ever the type to harm other or animals as a child, but I do think he had a knack for starting fires and causing general mischief. It was always well thought-out, carefully planned mischief, that was the main cause for worry. He loved watching gruesome slasher and horror films way too young and was very desensitized very early on.

★ Didn't have a really healthy upbringing. I feel that he was close with one of his parents and they did their best but had a multitude of issues and were ultimately unequipped to raise a child. Love isn't enough when you're raising a whole person.

★ I think he could fall in love easily, but he himself thinks he is incapable of loving. He cannot imagine anyone possibly loving him, I think. At least romantically. He has his situation and his grand plan thought out too well and meticulously to really consider it, but I think he would love to flirt (poorly) and toy with people teasingly because he's turned on when people find him disgusting, or off-putting. I think someone reciprocating his advances would throw him off in a really funny way, but he's great at improv so he'll manage. Just a lot of tension building up until something happens.

★ This might sound weird but I can see him (coincidentally and unwillingly) falling for someone who was destined to die shortly after his sui'cide attempt. Oh god that's even worse imagine his heartbreak when he survives/is caught by Naomi and then his S/O dies not too long after. Oof.

★ His love is a bit obsessive but I can't see him...hurting someone he truly loves. Physically.

Feel free to ask for more...but this is long enough? If you agree or disagree with anything feel free to add on!

#beyond birthday #death note #death note headcanons #death note x reader