#but we used to go to her house every other weekend (she lived like 45 min from my parents’ house)

[dj-bynum3718]

Of Fire and Ice - chapter 2

Melissa Schemmenti X reader X Larissa Weemes   

Summary: The dinner and questioning 

Words: 2367    

Notes: so this is going better than I thought I'm kinda living for it!  Thank you all for the love and support its really making me want to just get this out as fast as I can!! 

Wanings: slight talk of discrimination.  

----

3:45 the last kiddo from your class finally leaves you take that as a sign to get the heck out of there you don’t want to be cornered before the dinner. You gather your belongings and rush out of the school to your vehicle leaving to go pick up some ingredients for dinner.   

You can feel them watching you pull out of the parking lot you see Melissa and Barbara standing on the steps to the school. You don’t acknowledge them.  

Dinner tonight was supposed to just be leftovers from this weekend but now you actually have to put in effort since people will be coming over. It was lunch when you decided on penne arrabbiata. Your unintentional need to impress Melissa coming to head. So, you go out and buy some fresh parmesan, the rest you have at home, always going to the famers market on Saturdays. You have since picked up some new wines for your collection, so you won't need to get any more and for dessert well you did make some mini cheesecakes yesterday so those will have to do.  

Its 5:00 by the time you get home you immediately set to work on getting yourself ready just because you see these people every day doesn’t mean you don’t want to look nice when they come to your house.

6:30 you have finished touching up your make up and have changed into something comfortable letting your hair out of its messy bun and fixing the loose curls you had this morning. “meh good enough” you say to your reflection. 

6:35 you are starting on dinner it only takes about 20 minuets to finish the meal. When the bell rings you flick your wrist and suddenly the dining room table is set. You open the door and see all your friends waiting. “hey, come on in everything is ready” you motion with your hand to let them come in. 

“mmmh smells good hun what did you make? I can smell the fresh basil from here.” Melissa looks at you, she looks beautiful, she has changed into comfortable clothes herself and it should be illegal to look that good. You swallow your throat suddenly dry. “oh um penne arrabbiata.” she smirks at you oh god why does she do that. “a woman after my own heart I can’t wait to try it.” she winks at you walking into the house with the others.  

You close the door heading to the dining room. “come on in I don’t bite. Well unless you want me too” you joke looking back at them. “Guys I'm kidding” They all sit down at the table and you pull out 3 bottles of nice wine  

This peaks Barbaras interest as she hands you, her glass. You pour everyone some wine and serve the food. You hear the collective sigh as everyone takes a bite, Melissas hand lands on your free one as she nods in approval. Your brain short circuits as you take a big gulp of your wine.  

“so, how do you want to go about the questions” Jacob askes from his place at the table besides Janine. You let out a sigh and lean back against your chair. “Why don’t y’all take turns, we can start with Melissa and work our way around the table. Sound good?” they all nod as you turn your way to Melissa. “Okay beautiful we will start with you.” you don’t know where the bout of confidence came from, but her smile made it worth it. 

“So what kind of outcast are you? We know there are many different kinds so?” wow starting strong “I'm a witch I come from a long line. Don’t worry, the stories make us seem worse than we really are. She nods taking in your answer. 

Barbara takes her turn next “So you can do magic like the movies?” “Well yes kinda but it’s a bit more than that its connected to emotions yes but with practice I can use it for most things.  

“So, this school you went to it’s like a boarding school?” Gregory asks. “Yes, it’s been around since 1791.” you respond. 

“Is it only for outcast or can anyone go?” Janine askes “we have a few normies every so often, but they are rare and far between it is open to anyone but not many people feel comfortable with us.” 

Jacob looks at you now “what is the curriculum like?” “well we have the normal stuff but then some more specialized stuff too.” you respond 

“Who is this lady?” Ava holds out her phone to show the official nevermore page. Showing you a picture of Larissa. Your breath hitch's she is just a beautiful as you remember her. Those blue eyes piercing your soul all over again. You swallow hard before answering. “That is Larissa Weems the headmistress of Nevermore Acadamy” 

Melissa noticed the change in you immediately. “Who was she to you?” “My ex-girlfriend” you let out a sigh and look at her making eye contact calmed you immediately. 

Barbara takes her next turn “is that why you were upset this morning? Is she going to be there?” you simply nod your head in response.  

Melissa skips the others to ask her next question “when was the last time you saw her? And how long did you date?” You look to her confused as you can hear her voice waver. You grab Ava’s phone “we dated for 4 years, and I haven’t seen her in about 6. It looks like time has been good to her” you turn the phone to her “oh she is beautiful” you can hear the emotion in her voice, but you can't place it. “I was going to propose to her but then things started getting hard and I didn’t fight for her.” you shrug. 

Gregory raises his hand. “Yes?” you respond. “Can I go now Melissa Skipped me” you nod to him “cool so like you can do magic can you show us some?”  

You grin flicking your wrist and suddenly the table is cleared, and desert is on the table in front of them. You hear a collective gasp and Jacob claps. “Oh, that would come in handy.” Barbara responds.  

You nod “I use it more than I care to admit” you respond sheepishly thinking back on all the times you have used it in secret at school. The rest of the night goes on like this them asking you responding.

——

“Well, I do believe we all have to teach tomorrow. “ Barbara says standing “I'm going to take my leave thank you for an amazing dinner and enlightening evening.” the others nod and stand walking with her to the door. All leaving except Melissa who stayed on the couch as you walked them out. 

“You, okay?” you ask her from the doorway. She looks up at you and nods clearly there is something on her mind. You take her hand in yours and sit across from her. “Mel?”  

“What if I go with you?” she asked now you are confused. “What?” you respond not getting what she is referring to. 

“What if I went as your date to your reunion? I could be your fake girlfriend and you can show her that you are better now.” 

“I-I um Mel I can’t ask that of you it's a lot.” you are looking into her eyes now. “But you aren't askin I'm offering... so what do you say?” 

“lets do it” you nod grinning. 

10:45 Mel has already gone home, and you are filling out your RSVP and plus one paperwork. So maybe today wasn’t the worst day but now you have a whole other thing to worry about but till then that can be a problem for future you.  

#melissa schemmenti #melissa schemmenti x reader #larissa weems x reader #larissa weems #marissaXreader

[bisluthq]

I also think it’s their money not her/his money at this point so like

It’s funny that you say that because the other day, when you were talking about Jack smoking, I was thinking about how that one person said that Saoirse asked if they sold cigarettes and Jack went in to buy them. So I was like “oh they each pay for their own stuff” but she probably had just payed for the food for both of them. I understand why someone in a normal relationship wouldn’t pay for their partner’s cigarettes but when you’re that rich I think it would make sense for her to just buy them? Honestly I would probably buy them and tell my partner to Venmo me after, instead of leaving the store, telling them “they do sell cigarettes” and waiting for them to go buy them?

Then I thought about that one story about them teasing each other at what might’ve been a gas station (if I remember correctly) and I think the person said they served him first and they didn’t know he was her boyfriend or didn’t recognize him or whatever. So again, they were paying for their own stuff separately.

The house situation is a bit confusing but it sounds like they lived on an apartment she owned in London and at a house he owned in Edinburgh. They could’ve lived in a house like the one they’re in now all along (I think she owned a pretty expensive house in Ireland at one point) but they didn’t until Jack had enough money to strongly contribute.

I get the vibes that maybe Jack wants to pay his way. Maybe they don’t care as much with meals because one day one of them pays and the next day the other one does, but I get the vibes that he maybe isn’t comfortable living off her money

idk their lives but I don’t think that’s a good way to do it if it is how they’re doing it. My ex and I counted like every penny - we started dating when I lived with my friend of the 45 minute drying sessions - and she and I used to work out what she owed for the apartment and food and I used to work out what I owed for hers (which was always less because my place was nicer and I preferred to be home lol) and then when we moved in together we were very particular about what she owed and what I owed and we still both wound up feeling fucked over in the end. We’re okay now but we literally spent years detangling finances and we’re only proper done this year and not even because we still have the cats and I think she owes towards the cats a bit and she is counting subscriptions she paid for me as reason to not pay and idk it’s messy.

as I said, my current partner is older than me and ergo has more money and a more stable career at this point (we’ve discussed like if he retires and we’re still together it’d change eventually like that does make a difference) so we’ve done it as “our money” since we got serious except for like personal grooming and our insurance and shit like that. I put money into the house renovations but he pays the bond and we pay for groceries and such 70/30 to me and after I went back to work I pay for electricity and water 50/50 and he does pay for more dinners out and stuff and he pays for 90% of our travel (I paid for one weekend away and I buy groceries on travels but he covers flights and hotels) but I’ve said we don’t have to go if he doesn’t want to and I’m not sure I do like I’m happy to cook at home and go up here to his mum’s place for a holiday lol like I don’t fucking need wine country or Europe like I’m not a fussy person but we certainly don’t count who paid for cigarettes. I don’t think the counting is good long term. I may change my mind in another 2 years obviously like fucked if I know what I will think then but to me rn if it’s our house, it’s our money. Yes, I pay less in terms of the bottom line but I pay more in terms of percentage of total income so 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I wouldn’t be shocked if Jack and Sersh have a similar thing going on.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #571

Top Ten Things by Daughter #2

So every year I hand over my glorious, shining blog to my progeny to allow them to mucky it all up for their birthdays. And that time has come round again as we celebrate the anniversary of Daughter #2 gracing us with her presence. It was the same day the Mercedes garage near our house installed a giant rotating logo, funnily enough. Put it in your diary.

Anyway, I asked her a while ago what she wanted to write and she just decided to list “everything”. So that’s what this is: a list of everything. It’s basically her top ten everything of all time ever. She wrote it out for me in her little diary, which has a lock on it, and I couldn’t open it, so I’ve had to wait until she allowed me to see the list.

And that’s really that for this week! She obviously hasn’t written great screeds on the subject because, well, she can’t be arsed doing my work for me. I’ve tried to elucidate slightly on the items in her list, because I think with the best will in the world they might need a tiny bit of explaining in some cases. But as is the case with all these lists that I get my brood to contribute too – and also some of the early Top Tens I wrote, flush with the joys of new parenthood – they serve as a nice snapshot of where we all are at this moment. These are the things she likes right now, as she turn eight. Future generations will look back and wonder whether it’s entirely appropriate to show too much Tim Burton to a primary schooler. Or ask just what the hell is up with “lilac”.

Anyway, here you go. Have at it, and happy birthday.

Baby Betsy: so, this is her little dog, Betsy; I’m not allowed to say plush dog or toy dog, she’s just a dog, okay? It’s “Baby” Betsy because it’s the small, baby form of her Nanna’s dog, “Big” Betsy (who is, herself, pretty small). Does that make sense? So Betsy at number one totally tracks, because this is her “Woody” (god I wish that character had a different name), her little friend who she takes everywhere.

Mummy: yeah, okay, this makes sense too. Who doesn’t love their mum? And Daughter #2 has such a sense of feminine style that she requires a role model to, well, do her hair. Coz I can’t do plaits. Sorry.

Daddy: honestly surprised I’m this high. I’ll take it.

Puppies: like, in general; all puppies. She’s dog-mad. All she wants in life is a ton of puppies. Everything is canine-related. Might buy her Cujo for her birthday.

Dumbo (2019): yes, I double-checked, and this isn’t the character, she really does mean the 2019 live-action film by Tim Burton. It’s better than the other one, she says. I’m not sure I agree, although it is less racist. Also, it’s worth highlighting that Dumbo is (low bar here) one of the best live-action Disney “reimaginings”, succeeding by focusing on Dumbo (the character) as being an adjunct to the human family drama that’s unfolding. It also does well by continuing for a good 45 minutes after the point where the initial film ended, having Michael Keaton play – well – a villainous, fictionalised version of Walt Disney but with better hair. It manages to be a sweet, Paddington-esque drama but also lean into some Burton wackiness, and completes his trilogy of Films With Danny DeVito That Have A Circus In Them. Also: two Penguins.

Art: like, art. I think she means, y’know, drawing and painting. Not specifically the concept of art – including everything from song to prose to Candy Crush Saga – and nor does she refer to the 1994 play by Yasmina Reza. Just, like, painting and whatnot.

Lasagne: like her father and his messiah (Garfield), she loves lasagne. Nothing more to say here. It’s delicious. I want some now.

Books: yeah, she’s being a bit all-encompassing with some of these isn’t she? “All books”. Books are great and all, but despite being a very advanced reader for her age, I guess she’s not really that well-read in the grand scheme of things. Maybe she’ll think less of books by the time she gets round to Digital Fortress by Dan Brown.

Lilac (the colour): your guess is as good as mine.

Wednesday (2022): no, not the day, nor even the character; she means the show. She might be putting the cart before the horse a little bit coz we’ve only watched two or three episodes so far; maybe it falls off a cliff. Maybe it becomes less like the good Barry Sonnenfeld movies, and more like the ropey, middle-of-the-road animated movies. Anyway, I’m pleased that she likes Wednesday, for three reasons: (1) I wanted to watch it anyway; (2) it’s a proper TV programme that we can all enjoy, unlike some of the other stuff she makes us watch; and (3) maybe this and Dumbo will be a gateway drug to more Tim Burton and we can watch Batman and Batman Returns this year. Remember: a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it!

#top ten #daughter #birthday #kids #wednesday #dumbo #tim burton

[aquafinha]

.......

#hi talking in the tags again don’t mind me #anyway i talk to my mom on the phone every day right? (she lives halfway across the country fyi) #and i love my mom but she has a tendency to have a whole ass conversation with me and then be like #‘oh btw *insert shitty that that happened*’ #like just tell me the bad news and get it over with jesus #anyway that being said #i talked to her yesterday and we were talking for a short while #then she asked me how my day was i said it was good #I asked her the same and she said not good so i knew something was up #and she proceeded to tell me that my grandma passed away friday night 😔 #i was sad but she had been dealing with dementia for the past few years #so mom said basically it’s like she died a few years ago cause she didn’t know who or where she was anymore #it’s still sad though #she was the last living grandparent i had #i hadn’t seen her for...15 years almost not since i moved to georgia #but we used to go to her house every other weekend (she lived like 45 min from my parents’ house) #so i spent the most time with her #and she always supported me rambling on to her about whatever i was obsessed with at the moment lol #she was so patient with me and just wanted me to be happy #i think she wanted better for her grandchildren than her children had #my grandpa was abusive to the kids (maybe to her idk it’s not like i’d ask my mom that) #so i feel like deep down she saw her grandkids as a second chance #anyway i loved her a lot and i’m sad today #though i am thankful she’s not in pain anymore #and now my mom doesn’t have to worry about her every day #i haven’t really cried about it yet because we saw it coming really? #but i was thinking last night how my mom doesn’t have any parents anymore and that got me kinda choked up #anyway so excuse me if i set up a long ass queue cause i need some escape from thinking about all this #if you read all this ty and i love you ❤️❤️❤️ #shut up katie

[chaos-writes-fanfiction]

You’re in love with him

A/n I gave his mom the name Mei.

Warnings: none just some fluff, friends to lovers

Pairings: Aone × fem!reader

Being best friends with Aone came easily having your mother’s being best friends and living down the street from one another meant spending lots of time with him becoming close friends your selves. Always going to school together and waiting for him during practice so you can go home together. Having weekly sleepovers alternating who’s house unless he was away for a game, tournament or training camp.

And today you made your way to the gym to watch practice while doing homework, before staying at his house for the weekend. When you walk in the guys were still stretching.

“Hey guys” you said walking in

They greeted you with several ‘hey’ or 'hi’ from them as they started to warm up. Taking your normal seat and starting on your homework. When suddenly a volleyball comes flying at you unexpectedly and smashing into the side of your face. The whole team freezes except Aone who is running up to you.

“Way to go” Futakuchi said sarcastically to Koganegawa “dont be surprised when Aone kills you for hitting her”

“Let me see” Aone said softly moving your hand away from your cheek

Your cheek was very red and bruising already as tears fell down your cheeks. He ghosted his thumb over your cheek to wipe your tears

“Ow” you whimpered

“Here” Sakunami said handing Aone a ice pack that he wrapped a towel in so the ice wasn’t directly on your skin

He took it and gently placed it on your cheek holding your face so gently in his hand. You gently place your hand over his on your cheek.

“Thanks bear” you whisper his childhood nickname

He smiled softly at that. Then his smile dropped as he removed his hand from your cheek your hand still holding the ice pack as he turned and glared at Koganegawa.

“I promise it was an accident I didnt mean to” Koganegawa said quickly

“Then why haven’t you apologized to her?” Sakunami asked

Koganegawa ran over to you hanging his head

“I’m so sorry Senpai” he said “I didnt mean to”

“Please be more careful Koganegawa” you said

He nodded and they went back to practice you packed up your things as you waited for them to clean up to walk home with Aone. Your cheek still hurt and it had potential to give you a black eye from where it hit your cheek.

“Let’s go” Aone said when they were finished

“Can I get a piggyback ride to the train station?” You asked

He nodded and crouched down. You climb on and he holds your legs as you wrap your arms around his neck as he starts walking to the train station, resting your non bruised cheek against his his back. He set you down while waiting for the train. When you finally arrive to his house you walk in taking off your shoes in the now permanent space for you since you were over so often.

“Are you kids home?” His mom calls from the kitchen

“Yes we are Mei” you said

“Dinner is just about ready if you want to wash up” she said

Aone walks up to the bathroom to shower quickly before dinner. As you walk into the kitchen washing your hands to help finish making dinner.

“How are you dear?” Mei asked her back to you

“I’m good” you said as you move next to her cutting up some green onion

“What happened to your face?” She asked alarmed seeing the bruise

“I was watching practice and I got hit with a stray spike” you said

“Oh dear” she said “have you iced it?”

“Yes, bear made me right after it happened” you said

She smiled at the use of Aones nickname “of course he did” she said “but it looks like it still going to be around for a little while.”

“Yeah unfortunately” she said “the first year that accidentally hit me felt so bad I thought he was going to start crying”

She giggled softly and you both finished up making dinner which was shoyu ramen (soy sauce based)

“Will you go get him for dinner?” Mei asked

You nod and go upstairs to his room the shower wasn’t going anymore. So you walk to his door and knock. He opens the door letting you in. Hes drying his hair from his shower wearing black sweats and a white tshirt.

“Dinner is ready” you said smiling up at him.

“What are we having?” He asked putting the towel in his basket

“Ramen” you said

“Good its going to be cold tonight” he said.

He lightly touches your cheek again.

“I’m okay” you said

“I know I worry still” he said

“You always do” you said leaning into his touch and turn to kiss the palm of his hand “let’s go eat”

You take his hand in yours not noticing the wash of pink on his cheeks as you lead him down to the table and taking your normal seat beside him. After dinner and helping him clean up, his mom left going to the store to get some groceries and some snacks for the both of you for the weekend.

You go upstairs with him, he started on his homework and you lounge on his bed keeping him company when your phone started ringing.

“I’ll be right back” you tell him as you leave his room

You walk to the living room. And sit down and answer your girl bestfriends call

“Hey, Yachi” you said

“Hey honey” she said

“What’s up?” You asked

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to have a sleep over this weekend” she said “me, kiyoko and Saeko are here”

“Oh I can’t, I’m already staying at Aone’s this weekend” you said

“Have you confessed to him yet?” Saeko asked

“What do you mean? Hes my best friend we’ve been friends our whole lives my mom and his mom are childhood bestfriends too” you said

“You spend all your time with him unless hes away for volleyball” she said

“Well yeah…” you said

“Did something happen?” Kiyoko asked

“I got hit with a stray spike in the face” you said

“And how did he react?” Yachi asked

“He ran over right away and checked on me and gave me an ice pack after wiping my tears away” you said

“And after practice?” Saeko asked

“He gave me a piggyback ride to the train station and we took the train home, I helped his mom finish making dinner and we ate, I was keeping him company in his room while he did homework until you called” you said

“I hate to be the one to say it but you and him act more like boyfriend and girlfriend not friends” kiyoko said

You sat in silence for a little while thinking about everything.

“Hey are you still there?” Saeko asked

“Oh god” you said

“You’re in love with him” kiyoko said you could hear the smile in her voice

“Yeah…” you trailed off

“Then go tell him” Saeko said

“Is everything alright dear?” Mei asked

You hang up the phone and look up at her as she stood in front of you

“I just realized something” you whispered looking down

“What?” She asked concerned

“I’m in love with him” you whispered afraid to say it too loudly

“Who?” She asked tilting your chin up “Takanobu?”

“Yes” you whispered nodding

She smiled and kissed your forehead “I’m happy you finally figured it out” she said

“What?” You asked confused

“Your mom and I were wondering when you’d finally figure it out” she said

“Really?” You asked “you both knew?”

“Oh my dear, I’m pretty sure the only ones who didnt know were you and him” she said smiling “now, why dont you go tell him”

You nod a little hesitantly but go back upstairs after texting yachi why you hung up so suddenly. When you walk back in hes closing his text books

“Finished already?” You asked

“Yes” he said standing up and walking over to sit on his bed

You go and sit beside him.

“Can I tell you something?” You asked

“Of course” he said

You take a deep breath and let it out slowly resting your head on his shoulder “I love you, more than just friends” you said

He stiffened for a moment “you do?” He asked turning to look at you

You look back at him and nod

“I-I” he started but took a breath “I love you too, more than just a friend”

“You do?” You asked

“Yes, I have for a while” he said and he reaches into his bedside table and pulled out a letter and handed it to you

“What’s this?” You asked

“Read it” he said

You open the letter and read it;

'My dear,

We’ve been friends for as long as I remember and I’ve never been good with words; but I want you to know I cherish our friendship, but lately I find myself wanting more, I want to hold your hand when we are walking together, not just around town but at school too, I want to hold you in my arms when we have our weekly sleep overs, to wear my volleyball jacket when you come to my games. I guess I’m saying that I want you to be my girlfriend. I’ve loved you for a while now and it’s taken me this long to tell you how I feel.

-Love your Bear’

“I’ll gladly be your girlfriend” you said as tears fell down your cheeks

He wiped away your tears and kissed your forehead. You look up at him and lean towards him and gently kiss his lips, he kissed you back gently before pulling away smiling. You smile back and cuddle up to him as he gently plays with your fingers and his hand in yours. The both of you end up falling asleep cuddling.

A few weeks later, you’re getting ready, Saeko is picking you up to take you with her to a training camp to surprise Aone. You hear her honking and you run out and climb in handing Hinata your bag.

“Okay go” you said

“Are you excited?” Saeko asked

“Of course I am” you said “I’m always excited to see my boyfriend”

“Dont you see him every day?” Hinata asked

“Yep but he doesn’t know that I’m coming” you said smiling

About 45 minutes later and nearly dying from Saekos insane driving three times you finally arrive at the training camp, the first ones out are Hinata and Kageyama. Then you and Saeko got out walking towards the gym where the teams were taking a short break between games. The next team’s going up were Date Tech and Karasuno. Kiyoko and Yachi see you first.

“You came!” Yachi said smiling as she runs over and hugs you

“Saeko picked me up” you said and hug her back

“Good, we needed a few other girls” Kiyoko said smiling taking her hug

“Please, shes ditching us for her boyfriend” Saeko said rolling her eyes playfully

“Boyfriend?” Nishinoya asked “this beautiful goddess has a boyfriend?”

“Yep” you said smiling

“Who?” He asked

“Watch” Yachi said

Just then Date Tech walked over and you smile as you see your boyfriends eyes widen seeing you here. You run up to him jumping into his waiting arms wrapping your arms around his neck as he held your thighs, giving him a kiss on the cheek

“Hey” he said softly

“Hey baby” you said smiling hugging him tightly

He was holding you close not paying any attention to the stares from the other teams. As they watched the iron wall be soft for his girlfriend. He sets you back down on your feet, but holds your hand.

“Come meet my friends” you said he nods and follows you over, “this is, Kiyoko, Yachi and Saeko, kiyoko and yachi are Karasunos managers and Saeko is Tanakas older sister”

“Hi” he said “I’m Aone”

“Oh we know a lot about you” Saeko said smirking at you “this one talks about you all the time”

“Saeko I do not” you said blushing deep red

“Except you do” Kiyoko said

You whine a little bit embarrassed and hide your face in Aones chest. He starts stroking your hair.

“Its fine dear, I dont mind you talking about me” he said.

“Aone were about to start” Futakuchi said calling him over

“Go, good luck” you said

He lets you go and kisses your lips quickly before running back over to his team.

“Its definitely safe to say that you’re in love with him” Kiyoko said

“Yes I am” you said smiling watching your boyfriend getting ready to play

“So should we expect wedding invitations after you graduate?” Saeko asked in a teasing tone

“Maybe” you said blushing.

#aone x reader #aone takanobu #aone fluff #aone #takanobu aone x reader #haikyuu takanobu #childhood friend #childhood friends to lovers #getting together #love notes #love confessions #fluff

[queenshelby]

Time for Change – Part Two

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Smut

Words: 4,356

Notes: Not based on Cillian’s life. This is fiction guys! 

YOUR POV

Your night had to be the worst one yet as you received a photograph of your husband in bed of another woman from someone who contacted you via Facebook.

The person who contacted you went by the name of Lucas and Lucas had a story to tell. He asked whether he could call, speak to you about your husband and, of course, you agreed.

You were intrigued and you needed to know what he was up to.

When Lucas called you, he informed you that the woman your husband was with was named Emily and, of course, you knew all about her. She was his secretary back when you lived in New York. She was the reason you demanded to return to your home country of Ireland and he promised you that it was over between them after a yearlong affair.

But Lucas told you that it wasn’t. And Lucas also told you something else which came like a blow to your face.

According to him, Emily had a young child, a child which had been fathered by your husband.

This, of course explained everything. The constant business trips, money disappearing from your joined bank account without explanation and him getting up in the middle of the night in order to go for a walk.

Lucas’s phone call was like a plea for help. He wanted you to know. But why did he, you wondered? He had no vested interest in their relationship or yours, or did he?

He never told you who he was and you didn’t question it once you received pictures of your husband’s daughter via Messenger. On the pictures, your husband was holding her, cuddling her and feeding her. He looked happy and that made you feel guilty.

A child was what you could never give him after you lost half of your reproductive system following an accident in 2001. You were devastated but, at the time, you didn’t realise what consequences this accident would have on your life.

You tried, many times over to conceive and he pushed for you to try harder, to go through the IVF process, which was something you decided against. Instead, you pushed for adoption and this is how you met the most important person of your life, your daughter Chloe.

Chloe was three years old when you both adopted her and she was everything you ever cared for with all your heart. But, to your husband, she was never really his daughter. He never loved her the way a father should because she wasn’t his and he blamed you for it ever since.

Now, you were 32 and Chloe was 10 and you were happy. But obviously, your husband was not and sought the comfort of another much younger woman. Now, she gave him what he had always wanted, a child of his own and you felt as though you should be happy for him. But you weren’t. You were saddened by how your life had turned out. Yet, little did you know that your life was about to change.

CILLIAN’S POV

Cillian’s night wasn’t any better than yours. His wife Danielle had called him from her mother’s house, telling him that she wouldn’t be home until the weekend.

‘What am I going to tell the kids, Danielle?’ Cillian asked angrily and annoyed by the fact that, once again, she ran off.

‘I don’t know, you figure it out. Why is this always my problem, Cillian?’ Danielle asked, causing Cillian to huff.

‘What is all this about. Please enlighten me Danielle’ Cillian then said, wondering why she took off once again.

‘What do you think Cillian?’ Danielle asked, causing Cillian to huff and sigh again.

‘For starters, you rather spend time with Marina and Natasha instead of calling me and your children when you are away filming. Then, when I call your PA, I am told that you are busy. You are always fucking busy’ Danielle said angrily and Cillian realised that, of course, this fight was about his work again and the fact that Cillian had been away for months until recently to shoot Season 6 of Peaky Blinders.

Danielle never supported his career. She hated it and didn’t support his choices and her attitude towards it had become relentless over the past three years as he became more famous.

She was jealous, continuously, and alleged him having several affairs over the years. Every time there was a young and attractive woman on set, she would become possessive and, when Cillian didn’t call her every night, she would lose her mind. But, unlike your husband, Cillian didn’t cheat on her, not even once and her allegations created constant tension between them.

Whatever Cillian did, was never good enough for her. He wasn’t a good enough husband and he wasn’t a good enough father. Yet, on the other hand, she enjoyed the financial stability and the fact that she didn’t have to work as Cillian was able to provide for her and his family.  

After their latest fight, Cillian surely had enough and, whilst he had stayed with Danielle for his children, he didn’t know how much longer he could sustain a relationship like this with her if, all she did, was walk out on him whenever she thought that he done something wrong.

DINNER TIME

With both of you torn, upset and lonely with Cillian’s children at camp and your daughter at her grandmother’s house in Galway, dinner, a movie and some wine seemed like a fantastic idea and you texted Cillian at around lunchtime, confirming your date.

Whilst it felt somewhat weird to you, cooking dinner for your brother-in-law without the presence of your step sister Dannielle, you were somewhat excited to spend some time with Cillian.

You always liked him, his sense of humour and his intellect. You were likeminded and both enjoyed music, movies, books and theatre. You always had plenty to talk about and it was nice to not be surrounded by children for once.

***

‘Are you still coming over at 7 o’clock for dinner and some Netflix? Bring some wine because I know you are picky with the reds’ you texted him.

‘Says who?’ Cillian texted back.

‘Your wife’ you then responded.

‘Will do. See you at 7’ Cillian texted.

***

At exactly seven o’clock, you heard the doorbell ring and there he was, your brother-in-law with not one but two bottles of wine and a book.

‘Right on time as usual’ you said as you invited him inside and he couldn’t help but look at your cleavage again, surprised by the fact that you were wearing a tank top with no bra underneath. Did you have your nipples pierced, he wondered?

‘Cillian?’ you then asked as, clearly, he didn’t hear your question as he was too busy staring at your breasts.  

‘What?’ he then said as he collected his thoughts.

‘Which bottle did you want me to open?’ you asked again, laughing as you did.

‘Whichever one you want’ he then said before offering you some help in the kitchen.

You quickly declined his offer, telling him that everything had been done, before walking into the kitchen to open the bottle of wine.

As you walked off, Cillian couldn’t help but watch you again, moving your hips and causing your rather short and flattering skirt move from side to side.

You weren’t wearing anything special. Just a plain skirt and a tank top, no shoes, no stockings, possibly a pair of panties for what he could tell. But that was it. It was a warm day and he wasn’t really surprised by your outfit. Your figure was immaculate so why not show it.

You eventually returned to the living room with two glasses of wine and sat down next to Cillian.

‘Dinner will be about 30 or 40 minutes, sorry. I had to play around with the oven for a while to get it working’ you explained, noting that your kitchen was rather dated.

‘That’s perfectly fine. Thank you for cooking’ Cillian then said before handing you the book which he brought along.

‘Oh damn, you found it. Thank you’ you said excitedly as Cillian and you had talked about this book which he had read about five years ago and you were rather intrigued by it.

***

Following the initial small talk, you told Cillian over a glass of wine what happened to you over night, about James and his child in the US.

He was shocked but couldn’t stop himself and ask why you never had children together.

‘We tried for five years but I can’t have children’ you sighed, taking another sip from your wine.

‘I am so sorry Y/N’ Cillian then said, placing his hand over yours gently.

‘It’s alright Cillian. I made my peace with it and I do have Chloe’ you explained with a warm smile.

‘Well, she is one good kid, that’s for sure. You should count your blessings’ Cillian said with his hands still on yours.

‘I do, every day’ you said before asking him whether he had heard from Danielle.

Without hesitation, Cillian told you about what had happened and about the problems they were having over the past few years, her jealousy and her possessiveness. He also told you that, today, he had finally seen a lawyer to talk about his options. He wanted to file for divorce. It was long overdue.

‘Well, I can’t say that I blame her for being a jealous although the way she is acting seems excessive if you have never given her a reason to distrust you’ you then said, cheeks flushing as you reached for your wine glass again.

‘You can’t blame her? What do you mean by that?’ Cillian chuckled.

‘I think she is lucky to be with a man like you and she probably knows it. Men like you are rare. You are a great father and husband and, well, you are quite attractive so I can see how she gets a little worried’ you said somewhat embarrassed, the wine helping you tell the truth.

‘You think that I am attractive huh?’ Cillian asked equally embarrassed as he took a sip from his wine.

‘Yes’ you said, your cheeks now red like fire as you got up suddenly.

‘I think dinner might be ready’ you then said quickly as you disappeared into the kitchen and Cillian followed you shortly thereafter to help you plate up.

***

‘So, 45 next week, are you doing anything special?’ you then asked but Cillian simply shook his head.

‘Thanks for reminding me how old I am Y/N’ he then laughed and you couldn’t help but giggle before grabbing your empty plates and taking them to the sink.

‘You aren’t old Cillian’ you said as he followed you, helping you to clean up.

‘Coming from a woman in her early thirties. I take this as a compliment’ Cillian then chuckled.

‘You should’ you smirked. ‘In fact, I think, at 45, you are in your prime’ you then said with a cheeky wink as you filled up the sink. Like most other things in your house, your dishwasher was broken.

‘So, I am in my prime, huh?’ Cillian laughed and, just as the sink filled up completely, you felt Cillian touch you from behind.

‘Yes’ you murmured as the heat emanating from him was incredible and it took all of your willpower to just stand there and wash the dishes while he reached for the kitchen towel by your side, beginning to dry the dishes.

You desperately wanted to turn around in this moment and kiss him, but he was your step-sister’s husband and it was wrong.

This continued on for a while, in your small kitchen. You could feel Cillian’s warm breath behind you, his hands brushing against you so many times that you lost count until, finally, he put the last dry dish on the bench and leaned over your side to hang the kitchen towel up to dry.

Suddenly and somewhat unexpectedly, you felt Cillian’s warm hands run over the skin of your arms and a hot pair of lips kissing your neck. You wanted to move, you knew you had to, but you couldn't. Your body had started sweating and you felt him pull you closer as his lips continued to kiss your neck.

‘I am sorry Y/N, I should stop’ he then said as you stood there almost frozen.

‘No, don’t…please’ you huffed out, staring at the splashback behind the sink as Cillian kissed you gently.

Then you couldn’t resist your urges any longer and, with one swift movement, you turned around and pressed your lips onto his while your wet and soapy hands took hold of his hair.

The kiss was urgent and passionate, unlike anything else you had ever experienced before.

‘We shouldn’t be doing this’ you huffed out as you pulled away from Cillian to take a breather.

‘I know’ Cillian then said as he gently played with your hair, moving your long streaks out of your eyes.

Then, he moved his hand to the side of your face and caressed your cheek. His touch was gentle and he was so close to you that your voice was gone from your throat and you couldn't say anything. Couldn't stop him, you didn’t want to stop him, you just wanted to feel his touch.

Within seconds your lips were connected again and you couldn’t help your urges and desires any longer.

‘I can’t stop’ you then huffed out in between kisses while his hands travelled over your back and then down to your ass.

‘Neither can I’ Cillian said and, just as he did, you moved your hands from your chest down to his stomach and lifted up his t-shirt.

‘I need you Cillian’ you said as he helped you pull his t-shirt over his head and lifted you up onto the kitchen counter.

‘I suppose if Danielle already thinks that I am cheating, I might just as well’ Cillian said, no longer caring about her and giving into his needs.

Within seconds, Cillian lifted your tank top over your head and saw that, indeed, both of your nipples were pierced.

‘I saw you look at them when you walked in’ you giggled as Cillian gently ran the palms of his hands over your breasts.

‘Fuck’ he barely managed to breath out and, when you looked down at his skinny jeans, you could see his cock hardening beneath the denim.

While Cillian was playing with your breasts, giving some attention to your nipple piercings, he pressed his lips onto yours softly at first, gently kissing you, and slowly sucking on your lips.

His kisses were caring, loving, and not at all what you had expected. He parted your lips with his and soon the kisses became more and more passionate again. His tongue slipped into your mouth and his lips moved all over yours.

You could feel his hand trace from your breasts down to your stomach before pushing your legs further apart and finding its way beneath your skirt.

‘Jesus Y/N’ Cillian groaned as he could feel how wet your panties were and he pushed aside the fabric before running one of his fingers through your wet slit.

‘Oh god’ you moaned, causing Cillian to smile. His touch was almost too much to bear and, after just minutes of teasing, Cillian picked you up in his arms and took you to your bedroom. Of course, he knew where it was. He had been at your house many times.

After Cillian placed you onto your bed gently, he pulled off your skirt and panties together in one go and you suddenly bit your lip, feeling somewhat embarrassed about lying there completely naked in front of your step-sister’s husband.

‘You are stunning’ Cillian then said, mesmerised by your naked beauty right there in front of him.

‘If you say so’ you giggled, waiting for him to join you on the bed.

‘Are you sure that this is what you want? Because there is no turning back after this’ Cillian then asked as he stood in front of the bed and unzipped his jeans

‘Yes, I do…and I must admit, I’ve been fantasising about this for a while, but I would never have acted on it’ you said with some embarrassment.

‘That makes two of us then’ Cillian chuckled as, finally, he pushed down his jeans and briefs, causing you to let out a sigh of excitement when his hard cock sprung free.

Cillian joined you on the bed, caressing your body while kissing you gently. Eventually, he moved his hand lower and started pressing his palm on your pubic bone. He pulled you close to him and his hard cock was poking against your thigh. You could feel his pre-cum dripping from his cock onto your skin while the pressure and movement of his palm on your pubic bone was sending subtle vibrations to your pussy. It was getting wetter and your nipples were getting harder.

Your mind was reminding you of your morals, your vows, and values, but your body was no longer listening. Your body wanted pleasure and release and so did his.

‘You are beautiful Y/N. James is a lucky man’ Cillian said in between kisses as his eyes were filled with a lust and fire you had not seen before. Not even in James’s eyes.

He moved his hand to your breast again and fondled it tenderly. He closed his thumb and finger around the nipple. Then he pinched it and a sharp jolt seemed to go through your body. He squeezed your nipple again and your pussy reacted with an involuntary spasm.

Then, his body began to shift, hovering over you and he started kissing the soft flesh of your breasts. He was leaving marks on them as if he was marking them as his territory. What was James going to say, you didn't know, but your body didn't care.

Cillian eventually took one of your nipples in his mouth, sucking on it gently and causing you to moan. His mouth was so hot, you felt it would burn your skin. He pulled his head back, letting your breast slip out, till your nipples was between his teeth and then he gently bit on it. Shorts of pain as well as pleasure rippled though your body and another moan escaped your mouth.

By this time your pussy was so wet that drops of your juices were tricking out of it and down your thigh. You loved this kind of foreplay, something James never bothered with but, clearly, Cillian enjoyed it a lot.

But this wasn’t all of it. Cillian wasn’t done with the foreplay just yet and, when he was satisfied that he had left enough little bruises on your soft flesh, he sat up on his knees and began loving your lower body.

He pushed your legs apart and began planting small kisses on your upper thighs, and licking small trails up and down, stopping short of your mound every time he did, causing you to squirm and moan. He wanted to break your resolve completely and he wanted you to beg. That was going to be his power over you and, as much as you didn’t want to do that, your moans kept escaping your lips. And even though you couldn't see his face, you would imagine his smile.

‘Oh fuck, please Cillian, just do it’ you moaned out loudly and, just as you did, you could hear him chuckle.

Then, finally, you felt it; his tongue on your wet pussy lips. It was a slow broad stroke that sent jolts of pleasure though your pussy, up your spine and exploded in your brain.

‘Oh yes, oh god, fuck’ you moaned before you bit your lips. Your whole body shivered and you felt week in your knees. Then you felt his fingers work their way to between your legs to your pussy.

You squirmed at the intensity. James usually didn’t pleasure you like this and it was overwhelming having Cillian do this to you. He pushed your legs apart widely and forced you to open up, making yourself accessible. His finger traced a line along your pussy lips as his tongue started to twirl circles over your clit. He stroked there, not attempting entry, just teasing your entrance while his tongue worked its magic.

‘You are so fucking wet Y/N’ Cillian observed and then you felt his fingers open your lips, using one finger each from both of his hands. Your body seemed to open to him like a flower. The dampness that was in you started coating his hands. You were enjoying this more than you should and your mind was fighting it, but your body betrayed you. It was welcoming, eager.

‘Oh god, Cillian’ you moaned again his tongue traced the glistening slit on your open pussy. Then, your legs began to quiver as his tongue entered your open hole.

You knew you were going to cum any second as Cillian was rubbing your clit with his lips and fucking your pussy with his tongue. Your pussy was flowing profusely and Cillian must have been gulping down every drop. Suddenly your whole world exploded and you came with thunderous force. You pushed up against his mouth and let out a muffled scream through bitten lips as you came. Your nails were digging into the back of his head but Cillian still didn't stop.

‘Holy fuck, oh god yes’ you screamed out while your legs began to shake as Cillian gave you the most intense orgasm that you had ever experienced.

You don't know what happened next, if you had passed out or not, but the next thing you did remember was lying on the bed with Cillian on top of you. He was kissing your lips and you could taste your own juices on his lips.

‘Hmm fuck this was good’ you moaned, drawing Cillian’s lips closer for another kiss and you could feel him smile against your lips. His cock was touching your wet pussy and the heat emanating from it was incredible.

‘I could spend fucking hours between your legs’ Cillian then smiled, starring down at you with lustful eyes.

‘I wouldn’t object, although, for now want to feel you…all of you’ you said, biting your lips and urging him to push inside you.

Your legs were spread and open with his hips holding them apart. You felt the head of his cock slide across the mouth of your pussy, teasing you and collecting some of your wetness.

‘Please, stop teasing’ you then moaned, bucking your hips and his cock followed your movements before, suddenly, forcing its way several inches into your body.

You were gasping for breath. You were in the grip of some primal emotion as you groaned Cillian’s name loudly and he slid out to the end again. This time, your body moved with him, like it didn't want to feel him leave your confines.

‘Oh god’ you moaned and Cillian slammed into you burying the full length of his member deep into your pussy.

‘Fuck, you feel so good…so tight, Jesus’ Cillian groaned as he pulled out, then drove in again. The power of his thrusts caused an almost violent reaction in your body, as it met his thrusts with powerful thrusts of its own.

Your hips were now rolling with his every move, trying to keep his cock deeply in your pussy. Your mouth was open, you were panting, moaning. Your resolve to keep calm was being sorely tested as you gave in to Cillian’s thrusts.

But it was difficult for him too as he hadn’t slept with Danielle for six months and was starved of intimacy and now, here you were, the woman he had desired for a while right beneath him for his taking.

‘Cillian, I am close, fuck’ you moaned since you really needed to cum. It seemed your whole being was centered on Cillian’s cock splitting open your pussy, almost like it was the first time you had sex. You may as well have been a virgin, since Cillian angled his movements in way that he was reaching places that James, the only man you ever had sex with before tonight, hadn't even known existed.

You pulled Cillian close for a passionately kiss and your fingers clawed down his back, scratching him wildly. You were out of my control. Your body had become a vessel for his use. You heard the screaming and you knew it was your own.

‘Fuck me, Cillian. Oh my god fuck me’ you shouted out as you gave in and then you screamed as your body reached its high.

‘Fuck, Y/N’ Cillian groaned as he picked up speed and, within seconds you could feel his cock erupt inside you, pulsing and pumping as he did. He emptied string after string of cum into the warmth of your pussy while your walls contracted, milking him until there was nothing left and you were a shaking mess.

Finally, through panting lips, Cillian kissed you and pulled out. Just as he pulled out, you could feel his cum leaking from your pussy and onto the sheets. There was a lot and you couldn’t help but collect some of it with your finger and bring it to your mouth.

Cillian raised an eyebrow at you, wondering what you were doing.

‘I just wanted to see what you taste like’ you smirked as you licked his cum from your finger which is when he realised that he probably should have pulled out.

‘Fuck, I am sorry…I shouldn’t have cum inside you’ Cillian then said somewhat embarrassed.

‘It’s fine, really. In fact, I enjoyed feeling you cum like this’ you said, biting your lip and kissing him again gently before asking him whether he wanted to stay with you for the night.

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[harrysgloves]

This Will Be Our Year

Summary: Harry comes home with you for your family New Year’s dinner.

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Language. Shitty families. Smut/ Harry’s got a filthy mouth.

A/N: Okay, lets all pretend that I got this out on Saturday instead of Tuesday... Big shout out to @meetmeinfleetwood for making this “to lovers” fic challenge. It was the first fic challenge I’ve ever done! And I loved trying to figure this one out.

I picked ‘Friends to Lovers’ with the prompts: “You think anyone heard us?” & “You keep that photo of us in your wallet?”

>>>

You didn't miss the upward turn of your best friends' lip when you anxiously readjusted the hem of your dress for the millionth time. You didn't even bother trying to steady your shaky hands as they tugged down on lacy black fabric that touched a few inches above where you normally wore your skirts or shorts

"Stop it." You huffed as he let out the tiniest breath of a laugh at your struggle. 

"Sorry, love, think y'look great." He smiled that lazy half smirk that made your stomach flutter but you had no time to worry about that right now. No, right now, you were on your way to visit your parents for the first time in a year.

The excuses of being busy with work, having no time to travel, not having the money for it, or literally any other excuse you could come up with had finally stopped working. Your mother fully demanded for you to come back home for the traditional New Year's dinner your family had every first weekend of the new year. You would have said no, but the second her disappointed voice floated in from the other end of the phone, you knew there was no way out. 

You deeply loved your immediate family. It was the extended family that you could go without. The bitchy cousins who always seemed to be doing better in life than you. Know-it-all Aunts who gave you unwelcomed dating advice or worse, they'd sit and examine why you didn't have a man 

"Yeh sure 'bout this?" He asked from the driver seat, his hand grasped on the wheel so tight you could see his knuckles turning white. "We could fake sick or somethin' if yeh want out. Bad gas station sushi, maybe."

A smile broke across your solemn face. The snort of a laugh that creaked out of your lungs washed a bit of relief over Harry. His hands gently lifted pressure from the wheel.

"Gas station sushi is the best you could come up with?" You teased from beside him, head turning just in time to see that dimpled smile you loved so much. 

"Wha' not believable?" He grinned, playful green eyes shot your way before focusing back on the road. 

You shook your head no as silence fell over the car again. Only one more turn and you'd be there.

"If yeh get uncomfortable, just tug on my shirt and we'll go, yeah?" He said as the gravel from your parents driveway crunched under the car's weight. Your stomach churned at the sight of everyone else already there. Anxiety flaring deep inside of your body, your chest suddenly felt tighter even when you let out a deep breath.

"It'll be okay." Harry said after a moment of letting you try to calm down. His ring filled hand enveloped your own shaky hand that rested on your lap. A calm washed over you from his touch. His warm hands melted away the troubled feeling that was lurking in the depths of your soul.

"I'm sorry in advance for whatever they say." You mumbled, giving his hand a squeeze. You missed the small up turn of his lips from your action, the way his cheeks tinted the softest shade of pink. You thought his cough was to dismiss what you'd said, not knowing it was him trying to himself that you only saw him as a friend.

"'M pretty sure I can handle them, love." He smiled even though you shot him a very unimpressed look. "Wha'? I survived Simon Cowell, think I got yeh family." 

"Shut up." You chuckled as you brushed your hand off your leg. The other flung open the car door before you had a chance to chicken out.

>>>

Dragging Harry along for this dinner was the best idea you'd ever had in your whole life. Your family's attention was so far off you that you barely talked the hour before dinner and Harry was handling all the attention like a champ. His hand pressed to your lower back as your uncle grilled him about every famous person he'd ever met.

"Wait, so you're telling me that you know The Mick Jagger?" Your uncle looked a second away from breaking into a full out fangirl attack. Your lips rolled in your mouth to stifle the laugh that was bubbling in your throat before a harsh squeeze on your hips from Harry had you glaring daggers into him.

He nodded his head full of soft flowly curls, that you always wanted to run your fingers through, before shooting a smirk down to you. 

He was living for this. He loved being able to touch you, lead you around to talk to people. Adored when you playfully shoved him with your shoulder when he said something embarrassing about you. He tried to be as cool, calm, and collected as he could but when you fully leaned into his side his breathing caught in his throat. His hand pressed tighter into you, mostly to hide how much it was quivering from your closeness.

He had tried for over a year to come up with a way to tell you he wanted to be more than a friend. If he was being honest with himself, he wanted to be more since the night you two met, but he was too insecure about himself to speak up. You were just so vibrant. Your laugh, your smile, the way you talked with demand but was always such a sensitive soul. 

He was absolutely fucked for you and you had no damn idea.

You always thought he was too out of your league to even begin to entertain the want of something else with him. He was the great Harry Styles and well, you were just you. You, who happened to be friends with Glenne, who dragged you to a bar for a karaoke night almost two years ago. The rest between you and him was history. You'd gotten along so well and at first, you thought, it might have turned into something more, but he never tried anything more than stupid flirty banter which he seemed to do with just about anyone. So, you dropped it. Moved on. Now he was just Harry, you're really good, super hot, you may think about him when you meditate late at night, friend.

"Gonna get more wine." You said after you drank the last drop from the glass in your hand. You were going to need so much more wine if you were going to be listening to your uncle for the next 45 minutes until dinner was ready.

"Will y'bring me some too?" Harry asked with a glimmer of desperation in his eyes. You figured maybe he'd need the alcohol more than you did tonight. He had been putting up with a lot of crap from your family. 

You nodded your head yes before taking off through the hallways you used to run down when you were a kid, towards the kitchen. Your mind lost in a hazy of memories of you learning to ride your bike on your mothers freshly polished floors while the babysitter sat on your house phone with her boyfriend all night. The time your brother told you carving your names into the fancy trim along the bottom of the floor meant you two would live forever. 

The memories came to a screeching halt when you finally rounded the corner to the kitchen. Your cousin aka the bitch you hated most in the world lounged casually on the counter, her back towards you as she chatted with a friend she had brought along.

"Didn't think I was going to meet Harry fucking Styles. Would have at least done my hair." The girl you didn't know huffed out as you pressed your back to the wall. Desperate to get away from both of them. Suddenly you felt 12 again, hiding from Shannon before she had a chance to torment you.

"Not like you even need it. You already look better than Y/N without it." Shannon snorted out that nails-on-a-chalkboard laugh as your stomach sank. 

"True, girl is a bit mousy." 

"Don't forget annoying. Can't believe someone famous is hanging out with her."

A part of you wanted to turn around and walk away, but the other part was morbidly interested in what she said behind your back. Maybe, whatever she had to say, was what everyone said about you two when you weren't around.

"Think they're dating?"

"Fuck no." She scoffed with so much certainty behind her voice it made you cringe. You knew it was a bit dumb, especially since you tried to not picture yourself with him as much as possible but it still hurt. "Y/N's boring and bland as hell. He's probably too nice to tell her that he isn't interested and he feels bad that she never has any friends or a boyfriend." 

You knew you should have walked away when you had the chance. Every word that was uttered by the voice that caused your childhood trauma floated into your mind with daggers. 

Every bad thing you thought about yourself. Every reason you thought Harry would never like you was now confirmed by someone else.

"It's like his charity work for the year or something."

The last sentence was the one that broke you. Your eyes filled with tears as your feet finally unglued themselves from the permanent spot they seemed to be in. You ran for the safety of your childhood bedroom. Your mind too preoccupied with the thought that maybe, he did feel that way about you, to pay attention to anything else around you. You didn't register that Harry was only a few feet away from you when you slammed yourself into your old room.

The knocks on your door didn't bother you. You could care less to explain to our mom right now about what happened but tried your best to pull yourself together anyways. Your crying turned to quite sniffling when the knocks came again.

"Y/N, wha's wrong?" His anxious voice echoed through your door causing all tears or sniffles to stop immediately in their tracks. What the hell were you going to tell him? Your mind panicked for some lie you could use to cover up the fact you had a breakdown when the door opened, the hard metal of the door knob pushed you out of the way.

"'M sorry fo' comin' in but I saw yeh cryin' and I had to check on yeh." He mumbled uncomfortably from beside you as he shut the door again. "Wha' happened?"

"'S nothin'," you said as you dried your own eyes with the back of your hand. "Just, my cousin saying shit. I just took it a bit too personal for no reason." 

"'M sorry, petal." He cooed as his hand stroked the rest of your eyes off your cheeks away. Your head instantly nuzzled into his warmth. "Wha' was she goin' on 'bout?"

You tried your best to not tense up. Your eyes remained shut, head buried harder against his hand that still hadn't moved from your face.

"Told you, it's nothing. Really, it was dumb and I just- it's stupid H." 

"'S not stupid if it made y'cry." He frowned deeply as he lifted your chin up. Your eyes finally fluttered open to see disappointed written all across his face.

"She just-" you sighed, feeling dumb for being caught up in the moment. Her words stung but your knee-jerk reaction to cry was a bit over the top. You were embarrassed, your skin heated as his eyes trained on you. You desperately tried to look anywhere but him- the floor, the dresser, the door- anywhere. "She just… she said some things to her friend about how boring and bland I am. Said I had no friends and blah blah blah. Just dumb stuff." 

You shrugged, feeling uncomfortable talking about what had happened. You gave him the geist of it without having to divulge into the whole story. You figured it was better to leave the part about you being charity work for him out of it. An angry Harry was the last thing you wanted to deal with today.

"Yeh the least boring person I know." He said, finally breaking the silence. "And yeh far from bland. I mean, look at yeh," he gestured to your outfit, his eyes sparked as your face heated from the attention he was giving you.

"Shut up." You groaned, hands covering your burning face as he wrapped you up in a hug. His chest vibrated with chuckles as you buried your head into the crook of his arm.

"Come on, don't be embarrassed." His chin rested on your head as you fought to keep the pink blush across your face at bay. "Know I think yeh pretty. Prettiest petal've ever met." 

You could feel his body straighten up. Almost as if he got uncomfortable with being so forward with you. His hands held around you just a bit tighter and you could physically hear his heart start to race. You started to realize, maybe, just maybe, you'd been reading all the signs wrong.

You pulled away from him slightly, your lips rolled in your mouth as you peered up to him. The blush that lingered across his nose ran to both cheeks. His jaw clenched together, shifty eyes finally met yours after a long moment of avoiding your gaze. You could see gears turning in his mind.

"H?" You barely breathed out before he surged forward, his lips met yours with so force you were almost thrown off balance. Your hands quickly grabbed on his forearms to steady yourself. Your nails dug into the soft silk fabric of his sleeves as your mouth desperately tried to keep up with his frantic movements.

It was everything you'd ever imagined kissing Harry would be like. Soft, amazing lips pressed to yours. Warmth flooded your system, almost like he was bringing you back to life. His hand rested on your cheek as he pulled you closer, other hand around your waist, helping you keep balance on your tiptoes. Even if it was a bit rushed, it was perfect to you.

But then you felt him go rigid again.

"I shouldn't 'ave done that. 'M so sorry, Y/N, I know yeh don't like me like that and I got caught up and, and-nd, fuck 'm so sorry-" he rushed out in a ramble the second his lips parted from yours. Your eyes barely opened by the time he'd finished his rushed out speech. His hands ran nervously through his curls. Panic radiated off him.

"Who said I didn't like you?" You asked, halfway out of breath. His hands fell from his perfectly messy hair, down to his side. His mouth gaped open as he blinked slowly at your words.

"I, well, I thought-" He trailed off as you both stood there completely dumbfounded. 

You'd both liked each other this whole damn time.

"We're idiots." You giggled. Quickly ceasing the opportunity to close to space between you two again. 

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you pulled him to your level. This time, he was the one pleasantly surprised. The light humph out of him only fueled your fire as you dominated the kiss. Your tongue ran across his bottom lips, begging him to let you in. Tongues danced together in an unknown language as his arms circled you again. Holding you close as your fingers ran through the back of his hair.

It was quick. Both of you moved so fast, desperate for more. More touch, more skin contact. You felt that desire you'd pushed to the side flame to the surface as you both stumbled for balance. Your back was pressed tightly against the door after you both got your footing. 

Kissing was easy, but kissing passionately in an unknown space when you could give two shits-less about anything but each other, was hard. 

It wasn't long before the scruff on his face was burning into your sensitive and puffy lips. He'd taken over control over your mouth so long ago you had no idea where you started and he ended. Your hands, along with his, roamed uncharted territory of each other's bodies. Small gasps and light whimpers were flooding the room but you couldn't be bothered with caring right now. You were finally getting what you wanted, him.

"We should stop." He groaned, half annoyed with himself for trying to be considerate to your family. His forehead rested against yours as you both breathed in deeply.

You whined in protest at his words, your hips involuntarily grinded against him in a sense of desperation. He had winded you up like a damn play toy. He breathed a laugh at your neediness, his head shaking but you could see those dimples popping out when you stared up at him with doe-eyes. 

"Don't wanna fuck yeh fo' the first time in your parents house, lovie." He smiled widely as you let out a disappointed huff. Sure, you understood his point but that throbbing in core wasn't going to be going away any time soon. 

Harry considered it for a moment as he looked down to your glistening chest that was heaving in deep breaths. The swells of your breast had always been mesmerizing but, fuck, right now they look irresistable. His sight finally moved off your chest to your swollen and puffy mouth. He groaned at the sight, his mind instantly wondering if your other lips would look as beautiful when he was done with them.

His hand moved on it's own accord. Slipping up your dress, to your absolutely drenched panties. Your lip tucked under your lip, hips bucking in a need for more when you heard the most glorious moan fall from his lips.

"Can't leave y'like this, now can I, pup?" His lust filled eyes seemed to darken when you shook your head no. Your ruined underwear pushed to the side by his fingers, his breathing catching in his throat from just how fucking wet you were.

You whimpered and whined as he took his time leisurely circling around your clit, his finger skimming across your needy hole only teased you further. You could feel your nipples pebble against the roughness of your bra, feeling left out of the action, but you weren't complaining. 

"Quiet, or yeh gonna get us caught, sweetheart." Harry tried to scold you but you didn't miss the smug look of pride that sat on his lips. "Gonna have to keep you quiet, sweet girl." His free hand moved from the door, to your mouth. Three fingers tapped against your lips for you to open and holy fuck, you didn't think this would be happening today. 

A chill went down your spine as his fingers sat heavy on your tongue. He licked his lips as he watched you mimicked how good you'd suck him off later when two fingers entered you quickly.

"Fuckin' hell," he breathed out, the situation in his pants grew impossibly bigger while you moaned wildly against his fingers. "Jesus, fuck, yeh so tight. Gonna 'ave to prep yeh fo' me later, sweetheart."

You could barely register his words as he pumped into you again. His thumb pressed against your aching numb. He was reaching places inside of you that you'd never been able to reach. Places that you had no idea could feel this good. All sense of control left you as he hit that spot. His hand quickly pulled from your mouth to cup over top of it.

"Sing so pretty fo' me, puppy. Can't wait to hear how you sound when y'on my cock." Your walls quivered at his words, your juices dripped further down your leg as you began to quickly approach your end.

"'M ruin this little pussy later, gonna fuck y'until yeh can't handle it anymore." He started to ramble about how good you felt, how tight you were, how he was going to stretch you over his cock so good tonight that he'd ruin you. Your legs started to shake as your mind melted into a goo of pleasure. 

"Fuck, yeh like when I talk to yeh like that, don't yeh sweetheart?" You weakly nodded at his words, his hand around your mouth making it impossible to say anything but it wasn't like you'd be able to speak right now anyways. His fingers curled inside of you, pumping, his thumb switching from light touches to hard pressure. "I'd let y'talk to me like that later tonight but my dick is gonna be shoved in all the holes I can get into, puppy."

You could feel your eyes roll into the back of your head as the overwhelming flood of your release washed over you. Blinding white lights of adrenaline ran through your veins as you let out a guttural moan from a depth you had no idea existed inside of you.

You were a panting hot mess when his hands finally left your body. Sweet kisses pressed to your lips to calm you down.

"Do y'think anyone heard us?" Harry asked, his lips still hovering over your mouth as you let out a croak laugh.

"You think I care about that right now?" Your eyebrows raised as you peered up to him. His smile growing by the second as he wrapped you in a hug. "Come on, let's go, you have a few promises you made about tonight that I want to hold you to." You giggled as his cheeks flamed red, your hand reached for his but he didn't move. His boy glued in place as his eyes scanned around your old room.

"What?" You asked as you turned around to see him studying every inch of your childhood. 

"I didn't get to see it earlier." He shrugged a bit, trying to not seem like he was hyper focused on every detail. Your pile of old notebooks your mother kept "just incase you ever wanted them again", your old dresser that you'd painted at some point, your rose pattern bedspread, the mountain of books and magazines that were shoved away.

"Wha's this?" He pointed to the huge wall that was covered in nothing but pictures. 

"Oh, uhm, I used to put pictures of me and my friends on my wall. You know, like people used to do before Facebook." Harry chuckled as he shook his head at you. His hand fished into his back pocket as he moved away from you.

"What- what are you doing?" You asked, your eyebrows furrowed tightly together as you moved towards him. The picture of your and Harry's drunken photo booth session from New Year's last year in his hand.

"You keep that photo of us in your wallet?" You finally asked after he pinned it on your wall. His cheeky smile across his face as he threw an arm over your shoulder.

"Yup." He smiled widely as you chuckled from beside him. Your arm rested around his waist.

"Dork."

#Harry Styles #Harry Styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #fanfic #fanfiction #to lovers fic challenge #writing #mine

[let-me-luve-you]

Overlooked and Overworked

Tom Holland x Sister

Summary: Being Tom Holland’s little sister was great growing up, but after his success she’s a little left behind. Y/N Holland is willing to do whatever for her family because she loves them.

Warnings: Angst, fluff ending, rude Tom, overworked, sleep deprived

A/N: I don’t think Tom or any of the members of the Holland’s would allow this to happen to any member of their family or friends, I just had this idea and wrote it. Also I wrote this back in like January and just now got the guts to post it!

MASTERLIST    BUY ME A COFFEE

The past couple of years for you have been an emotional roller coaster. You’ve been so excited and happy to see your brother succeed in his career. It’s always fun to see him on the big screen as someone else. But it’s also been tiring and sad because you feel left out. You don’t get to go to set often, you don’t get to travel with him, and you aren’t a part of his charity. The Brothers Trust is just him and your 3 other brothers. Given you help out way more than all of the brothers. Since you went to school for business, you help your mum and dad with both of their businesses and then run The Brothers Trust.

Tom is the oldest, then it’s you, the twins, and then Paddy. You’re only a year and a half younger than Tom. You were very close growing up, but once he started doing movies, you slowly grew apart. Him and the twins then grew closer. You loved him dearly but it just wasn’t the same since you never felt included. He took Harry to sets with him and on press tours. Sam would join along when he wasn’t working at the restaurant. Paddy would join during school breaks. But every time you would try to join him, he would say no. That he was too busy or too tired. You didn’t want to fight him but you were always crushed.

When he got the role of Spiderman, he decided then he wanted to move out into his own apartment. You offered to help him find a place since you had been looking for yourself. You offered to share a place and split rent but he said he wanted to be completely on his own. But shortly after he moved into his new 4 bedroom apartment, he had Harrison, Tuwaine, Sam, and Harry move in.

“The twins are moving in with Tom. Can you help pack and move them this weekend?” Your dad asked.

“What? They’re moving in with Tom? I thought he wanted his own space?” You asked him.

“He said he wanted to be around people because it was too lonely and quiet. Did you ever find a place? If so, you may want roommates too.”

“No I realized I can’t afford a place in a nice area to live alone. All my mates have moved off to continue their education or they have jobs else where.” You said sadly.

“Tom should of asked you then. I’m sorry y/n/n.”

“It’s fine. He hangs out with all four of them all the time. I would of just been in the way.” You said as you got up and left the room.

It’s been a couple of years and you still can’t afford to get your own place. Between helping run three businesses, you don’t have time to get a part time job. You pay your parents for rent and help pay bills so you are doing adult things. Plus it helps your parents financially. It’s busy season since your mum is picking up gigs for photoshoots, your dad is on tour for standup and his new book, plus you are planning a movie event through the trust as well as trying to get all the merch bagged and shipped. You have been working 14-15 hour days for the past 3 weeks without a day off. You are feeling the tiredness mentally and physically.

Tom has time off from the movie he is filming now. They gave him a month off for the holidays. Him and Harry have been home but all they have done is hung out with friends and go to the pub. You have been holed up in your office/bedroom for 3 days straight. Only to go out to the bathroom and kitchen to grab food.

“Where has y/n been? I haven’t seen much of her since we got home.” Harry asks Tom.

“She might be finalizing the Spies in Disguise event and getting things ready.” Tom responded.  

“Oh good. Y/n is great at getting a head start on things so I’m guessing she’s done with all the prep and souvenirs.” Harry smiled. Tom laughed in response.

On Christmas Day, you only came out of your room for breakfast and lunch and then went back in your room to work. No one noticed the bags under your eyes that you tried to hide with makeup. No one noticed you almost falling asleep at the table. No one thought twice about why you spent most of Christmas alone in your room. But you were behind. You still had a lot of orders to fulfill and send out. You still had get all of the souvenirs together for the event that was in two days. You still had to finish sending out your dads orders for his book as well as finalize his January travel plans and stand up dates. Your mum had booked 12 more shoots and you had to finalize times and dates. And everything was supposed to be done in the next week. You finally caved and decided to ask Tom for help since it was his event after all.

“Hey Tom can I have you help me out for a little bit?” You asked him Christmas evening.

“Do you need me tonight?” He asked.

“If you can that would be great.”

“Sorry y/n/n. I can’t. I’m meeting to boys at the apartment.”

“Well maybe they can help too.” You sounded hopeful to get more help to lighten your load.

“No can do. We have drinks and plans.”

“Well then can you come tomorrow morning or early afternoon?”

“Can’t. I have a meeting with my manager to discuss everything that’s coming up and then all of us at the apartment and Paddy are going into the city. Maybe I can help you after the event?”

“No it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.” You said sadly as you turned to go back to your room.

“What about Paddy? Or mum or dad?” He asked.

“Paddy has football that mum is taking him to before she does a shoot tomorrow. Dad is working on some other stuff for his January shows.”

“Sam or Harry?”

“Well both will be with you tonight and tomorrow.”

“What about in the morning?”

“Sam has to work remember. And I think Harry is meeting with some mates to catch up with them or something along those lines. It’s fine. I’ve got it handled. Have fun tonight and tomorrow. Be safe. Love you.” You turned and almost ran back to your room. You wanted to break down in tears from being overwhelmed and for not being included in any of Tom’s plans of hanging out and catching up. You’ve barely seen Tom in the past year. Only when he’s in London. You shook the thoughts of your brother out of your head and pulled out a sheet of paper. You wrote down everything that needed to be done. Then on your white board, wrote them down in most important the least important.

First up was getting all of the brothers trust bags done. You went to the storage closest and pulled out everything you would need and set the boxes on your bed. Then you went and grabbed a tote to put the finished product in. It took you until 4 am, but you finally finished putting them together. You went into the kitchen and made you some tea. You went back in your room and marked the brothers trust goody bags off of your list. Next you started finalizing plans for your mum. That just involved organizing times and dates. You finished that around 1030 am. You marked that off the list as well.

Before you emailed all of the clients their dates and times, you went to the kitchen to grab and snack and drink. Your mum was in the kitchen.

“Morning love.” She smiled at you.

“Morning.” You said back waiting on your tea.

“So I’m going to drop Paddy off at football in 20 minutes and then Tom will pick him up to go into the city. I have to go to my shoot. Do you have the invoice I can give them?”

“I do.” You rushed to your room and grabbed it from a folder then went back and handed it to her. “Everything is on there. The deposit has been paid and it shows that as well as the price for the shoot and the editing. It also gives the timeline of when they will get the pictures.”

“Great. This is wonderful. Thank you. Also the theater called and said we can set it up today at 3 pm. Are you okay to handle that on your own?”

You sighed but answered, “yes I can handle it. I finished the bags last night. I just need to print off the papers to put on the seats as well. Plus get the itinerary finished which I will have by tonight so Tom knows what’s going on.”

“That’s great. I’ll be there to take photos as well as Harry but the boys will all be busy with fans and making sure they all feel special.”

“Sounds good. Have fun on your shoot.”

Your mum smiled as her and paddy left the house. You went back into your room and emailed everyone for your mum. Then you printed the brothers trust sheets that said what the event was supporting and how we were thankful for their donations. As those were printing you forgot you had to pick up an order of pictures so Tom could sign them for the guest coming to the screening. You looked up and saw that it was 130 and if you were going to be on time you needed to leave in the next 15 minutes.

After you loaded the goody bags into your car, you drove the 20 minutes to the print shop to pick up the pictures. You then went to the theater and set everything out. It took 45 minutes to lay everything out and make sure it was perfect. You then snagged some photos for Instagram and posted them. By the time you got home it was just shy of 5. You went straight to your room to finalize the itinerary. At 8 pm your mum knocked on the door.

“Hey baby. I’m back. How did everything go setting up wise?”

“It was good. Took longer than expected but wasn’t too bad for being the only one there. Also here is the itinerary for you and dad. I also have one for each of the boys.”

“Wow. This is detailed perfectly.”

“It kind of had to be since Tom has an event to go to tomorrow night and he can’t be late. I figured the more detailed, the less things can go wrong.”

“Fair point. Love I’m not sure if the boys notice the work you put in, but I do. Have you slept yet?”

You looked at her shocked, “what do you mean?”

“I mean that I can tell you are exhausted. I woke up at 2 am last night and heard you in here and saw your light was still on.” She paused and looked at your long list on the white board. “And by the looks of it, you have a long to do list. Do you need help? After we get through the event I can help. I don’t have a shoot for a couple of days.”

“I appreciate mum, but this list needs to be done by then. And everything you can help me with will be done already. But thank you.”

“Did you ask your brothers to help? I mean this is there thing. They should be helping you. Not leaving it to you to do yourself.”

“I asked Tom to help so I could have him do the goody bags for tomorrow but he had a guys night with Sam and Harry and them last night. Then they were all busy this morning and then went into the city. But it’s fine. I did the bags last night. That’s what you heard when you woke up.”

“I’m sorry baby. I’m going to have a talk with him. Have you had a break to just hangout with Tom. I know it’s been a while since you’ve seen him.”

“No he’s always in a meeting or with the boys. But if Tom wanted to see me, he’d make time but when I try, he can’t. But with all this work, I haven’t really done much outside of this room in a while so it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. You both used to be so close. Almost like you were twins. Weirdly enough closer than the twins have ever been. I hope you two can work whatever this is out.”

“Me too mum. Me too.” You looked at her as she slowly walked out.

After your mum left the room, you got back to work finalizing your dads stuff. Thankfully it was only 12 am when you finished. Deciding to pack all of the orders so you can drop them off to be shipped in the morning, you went and grabbed everything you would need from the storage closet and got to work. You stayed up all night working. You finally finished all the orders at 9 am. When you realized the time you rushed to get dressed and cleaned up as best you could. By 10 am you were out the door to go to the post office to ship the orders and then you were off to the theater to make sure everything was set. By 1pm the rest of your family showed up. And by 2 the theater was full of people who were excited to see the brothers and the movie.

People knew who you were. Everyone knew Tom had a sister. But you did great staying out of the eye of people. None of your brothers posted much about you on social. Your dad mainly posted about Tom and the brothers golf adventures. Your mum would occasionally when she made you model when she was trying something new. So when people arrived, they walk past you and straight to the four brothers who were ready to greet everyone.

When the event started, you weren’t really needed so you went to a back room they had set up for your brothers to relax away from people and sat on the couch. Not sleeping since Christmas Eve was starting to catch up with you but some how you forced yourself to stay awake.

“Y/n we have a problem.” Your youngest brother said as he came in the room. “The movie hasn’t started yet and it was supposed to 15 minutes ago.”

“Okay I’ll go see what’s going on.” You went to the manager of the theater and she explained to you how the light in the projector went out and it was going to be another 20 minutes before it started. She apologized multiple times.

“Hey Tom. Can you do a q&a for 20 minutes or so?”

“No the movie is supposed to be on.”

“They are having technical difficulties and it’s going to take 20 minutes to fix it.”

Tom got annoyed because he knew this was pushing the entire timeline back and it was now be pushing it for him to be on time for his event tonight. “Sure.”

“Thanks. I’ll let you know when we are good to go.”

After 30 minutes. The movie was finally ready to go. Every one was enjoying it and all four of your brothers moved around the theater so the kids felt like they were watching the movie with them personally. When it was over everyone was ushered into a lobby where there was a meet and greet with photos. By the time the boys were done with everyone, it was 20 minutes until Toms next event.

“Great. I’m going to be late. Thanks for that y/n. Why didn’t you have them check everything yesterday?”

“Because I didn’t think of it.”

“So stupid. How could you not think of it? It’s literally the first thing on the list of things to check when prepping the theater. Do your job better. Thats what you are paid to do. I’ll see you later.” Tom rolled his eyes and stormed off. You just stared feeling humiliated since the theater staff and your family had witnessed that. You were holding in your emotional breakdown until you could do it in private.

“Sorry guys. Y’all can go ahead and head out. I’ll clean this up and bring home whatever is ours.” Sam, Harry, and Paddy saw this as a get of jail free card and booked it out of the theater. Your dad came by and kissed you on the head and said I have to finish up some work and headed out. Your mum looked at you sadly.

“I’ll help you baby.”

“No it’s okay mum. Go edit the photos so we can get them sent out.” You smiled at her.

“It’s okay. I can do them later tonight.”

“Mum seriously. Go home. I got this. I’ll be home later. You kissed her on the cheek as you walked back in the theater. You thankfully left the tote yesterday which made it easier to put everything in. You put the tote in your car and headed back in the theater to sweep and clean up the mess. By the time you got home, it was 9 pm. You had been up for 61 hours straight. You were exhausted. You just wanted to sleep. But Tom was home and he was livid.

“What the hell?” He asked.

“What?” You asked back.

“You know I got yelled at by my manger for 30 minutes about how I was irresponsible and immature for being almost a hour late to the event tonight?”

“Why did you get yelled at? You were doing stuff for charity. He should get over it.”

“He was mad because SOMEONE told him I would be done with our event in plenty of time to go to this other one. And when I told him there was technical difficulties because that same SOMEONE didn’t do their job, he got even more mad.”

“I get that I probably should of checked but things happen Tom. Okay? Things I can’t control. Things the theater can’t control. I did this entire event by myself. Sorry for not checking but other than the delay the people loved it and we raised money which is okay because our charity now can help so many more.”

“You didn’t do this by yourself. We all help. And our charity? Our? You mean mine? Sams? Harry’s? Paddys? It’s our faces that make that charity. And when something goes wrong we are the ones that look bad. Not the person behind the scenes that only does some of the work.”

You looked at him like he was a stranger. What he said broke your heart. That’s what he really thought? You just shook your head lightly and walked to your room. You shut the door and locked it.

“Really Tom?” Your mum asked as her and your dad walked in during the argument.

“Yeah mum. We do all the work and she’s trying to take the credit. We’ve all noticed and it’s getting out of hand. You do more than she does.”

“Tom I’m extremely disappointed in you right now.” Your dad said.

“Tom she does all of the work. The planning, the scheduling, the packaging, social media, distributing the money, and figuring out all the ways we can make money to help those smaller charities.” Your mum added.

“She does?”

“Yes Tom. On top of helping me and your father with our businesses. We’ve seen you more than her this past month because she’s been so busy.” Your mum said.

“Wow.”

“Did you know she was up until 4 am on Christmas night so she could finish the goody bags before we had to prep the theater. That she had those pictures printed so you could sign them for the guest. That she made an itinerary so detailed that nothing could go wrong. Except she didn’t account for technical difficulties. She set up the theater and cleaned the theater all by herself. None of us helped her. We just showed up for the event.” Your mum said.

“Tom have you not noticed how exhausted she looks? It looks like she hasn’t slept in days. She’s trying her best to handle everything so we can have everything run smoothly for us. She even mentioned your event and how she needed to get you out of there so you wouldn’t be late. We’ve all been horrible to her by letting her do this by herself.” Your dad said.

“I... I didn’t know. I’m going to go talk to her.”

Tom got up and knocked on your door. He couldn’t hear anything so he tried opening it. He noticed it was locked and went to his old room and found the key you gave him years ago. When he unlocked it he noticed the mess around your room of boxes, plastic, mail bags for packages, and stacks of papers. He saw you on your bed and saw you were asleep. He went over and tucked you in. He went to your desk and saw the white board with everything marked off under the to do list. He then looked on your desk and saw how your mum and dads plans were finalized. He knew you mentioned everything when you asked him for help Christmas night and now you were done with it. Even all the orders were done and he saw the receipt from the post office proving the orders were shipped. He felt horrible knowing the only way that you got everything done was by staying up all night.

He turned and walked back to you and finally noticed the bags under your eyes. As well as tear stains that he knows he’s the cause for. It broke his heart knowing he was the cause. It also broke knowing that you asked for help so you wouldn’t fall in the deep end, but by saying he couldn’t help, he pushed you in and watched you drown without even realizing.

He gave you a kiss on the head and got up and quietly walked out.

“What time did y/n wake up on Christmas Day?”

“From what we know, maybe around 8 or 9.” Your dad said. Tom sat there quietly while doing the math in his head.

“61 hours.” He suddenly said.

“What?” Your mum said.

“61 hours. That’s how long she went without sleep. She asked me for help and told me why and I said no. She’s finished the list. She’s organized both of your stuff. She’s packed and shipped out all of the orders. She did everything for the event. She hasn’t slept. She’s asleep now but it was 61 hours. How could I let my sister do that? How did I not see it?” Tom asked his parents. They looked at him in shock.

“My poor baby” your mum said.

“We will talk to her tomorrow when she wakes up.” Your dad said.

“I want to be here when she wakes up so I can apologize. I’m going to go see her again.”

He got up and walked to your room. He quietly started cleaning up the mess left from packaging orders. He then laid on the other side of your bed thinking about how he messed up so bad. Shortly after he fell asleep too.

-——————

Around 7 am you woke up still exhausted but you needed a glass of water. When you went to throw the blanket off of you, you saw Tom asleep in your bed still in his clothes from the night before.

You were confused as to why he was in your bed, but you chose to ignore him. You stood up and went to the kitchen. Your mum was already cooking breakfast.

“Morning baby. How’d you sleep?” Your mum asked.

“Alright. I’m probably going to catch a few more hours. Just needed water.” You said. “By the way, do you know why Tom is in my bed?”

“He felt bad about how he has treated you lately.” She said. “He figured out you went 60 something hours without sleep.”

You looked at her shocked and sat down. She came over and gave you a hug.

“Why did you do that to yourself? Why didn’t you ask for help?” Your dad said as he joined both of you in the kitchen.

“You were working on new stuff. Mum had shoots and a house to run. I asked Tom and thought maybe him and the boys could help but they had plans. It needed to be done before the new year and definitely needed to be done before the event.”

“We appreciate you so much baby girl. I hope you know that. You do a lot for this family and this family isn’t great at giving back. We do love you.” Your mum said as she gave you a kiss on the head. “Now please go get some sleep. Sleep all day if you’d like and I can bring you food later.”

You smiled at her and walked back to your room. Tom still hadn’t moved. You sat your water on your bedside table and crawled back under the covers. You turned your back towards Tom. You were still really saddened by his words last night, that you didn’t want to face him yet.

“Y/n/n are you awake?” You heard Tom whisper.

“Go back to sleep or get out.” You said back not opening your eyes.

“I’m sorry y/n. What I said last night was wrong. I didn’t realize you do everything for our trust. I thought mum and dad did it all. I know you’ve been killing yourself to try and catch up then get ahead, but you can’t do that to yourself. You need proper rest. I’m going to make sure you never do the 61 hours straight again. I’d rather myself do it before I let you do it again.”

“Tom it’s okay. But seriously. Leave or go back to sleep.”

“No it’s not okay. I’ve royally fucked up. I’ve let us get so far apart we are almost strangers to one another. I have a charity that doesn’t even have your name on it and you do all the work. You make sure my fans are happy as well as making sure we help other small charities. You’re absolutely amazing and I’ve treated you like shit for the last few years. I don’t even give you the time of day. I promise you this, I will do better. We will be like we used to. Even if I have to kidnap you and take you with me different places. I love you and I don’t want to be the one hurting you anymore.”

You rolled over and looked at him with tears in your eyes. Your brother finally recognized you for you. He finally realized what he’s done.

“Thank you Tom. I love you too.”

He smiled at you and leaned over to give you a hug and kiss on the forehead.

“It really means a lot that you said that. But can I please go back to sleep. I’m still exhausted.” You said.

Tom pulled you to him so your head was on his chest and shoulder. And he cuddled you so you felt protected from all the horrible things that can go wrong for you.

“Get some sleep and when you wake up, me and you will hang out. Just the two of us.” Tom said. You smiled as you drifted back to sleep.

#tom holland #tom holland sister #brother!tom holland #holland!reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland x sister!reader #angst #fluff ending #the brothers trust #tom holland facfic #tom holland one shot #tom holland imagine #y/n holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x y/n #brother!tom holland x sister!reader #tom holland angst #holland!sister

[jones-friend]

Something that’s been on my mind are the Sandlot and Finding Nemo blu rays sitting on my movie shelf in the other room.

When I was in college, my brother having recently graduated, my sister in high school, my dad quit his job due to work stress. My mom always downplayed that. She made him out to be unsupportive and weak. I’m sure she was frustrated about it since he was the sole breadwinner with three kids in college and a suburban house they were paying off. But going through life as an adult I better understand the work stress he was put under, even if he caused some of it for himself its awful.

My family dynamic has never been healthy. My father was a victim of abuse with self worth issues that got in the way of seeing help. My mother could not handle confrontation of any kind, instead of working with her husband on issues she used her children as therapists and vented to us at a very, very early age, as early as 2nd grade.

A contact of his got him a job in California on a frozen pepper plant. My dad loved sales, but as a participant in capitalism he’d been conditioned to climb corporate ladders and took the job as the company CEO. California is a good five hour flight from Illinois, and a good few days of driving. My dad, with some attributes I find in myself, was wholly onboard with starting a new life in California for a fresh start, doing his best to make the situation positive.

This was not great for anyone else involved. My brother was fresh out of college and needed a “home base” before he’d hit his first aquarist gig in Hawaii. I was still in college and was learning my own identity. My sister was on her junior year of high school and hated the idea of moving to a lesser Californian school for her last year. When I say lesser, we grew up with a prestigious high school and our options in California involved hits like “we only have fights about every week” and none had the teaching programs she wanted to pursue. I still remember the week we flew out there, we had an ultimate frisbee tourney the day before and it rained all day. My sister and I had untreated bronchitis the entire trip and my dad blamed my mom for taking us out here sick so we’d have a miserable time and hate California.

There were visits to the house he rented in California but I remember them being very tense. My dad deeply wanted them to work out to have a nice time with his kids, but my mom hated them. Everything was 45-70 minutes away and the things you could drive to at that distance were small rib shacks and whatnot. There was a lot of emotional unwellness that went and still goes unsaid about those Christmases.

My mom “won” the argument to stay for my sister, but when she started college my dad “pulled the trigger” and arranged for the move to happen without telling anyone or having some kind of talk about it. I just received a message while at UIowa that we’ve been moved out of our childhood home and its gone. There was an odd disconnect and feeling of not really having a home or home base about it. My mom was moved to California where she hated it. She cried so many times, she hated being that distant from her kids. This upset my dad, who felt she was ruining all he was trying to do in making California their kids’ new home. They still have unresolved issues and its been nearly ten years.

That job ended up being a sham. The owners who were running the business into the ground wanted a CEO to make magical fixes to the company that didn’t exist, otherwise that CEO would take the blame for the owners’ failings as they continued to passively reap $2mil a piece for doing nothing more than making bad choices. I feel bad for my dad. As he was watching his work life turn into a living nightmare he watched his family turn against him. As a victim of abuse he had disowned his own parents, he’d been through one divorce and has a stepdaughter who disowned him, even though he’s caused me a lot of my own issues and strife I can’t help but feel bad for him that he couldn’t get past himself to seek therapy. Everything he had just went up in flames and he had more than himself to blame.

Eventually my dad quit that CEO job twice on a whim and was rehired back both times. My mom tried to get out but he tagged along, the two brought their dysfunctional marriage to the close quarters of my grandpa’s 2br ranch house where my mom would start openly bashing him around an open door where my dad would then walk in on it and accuse us of bashing him. If you’re wondering “this is insane, how can this happen?” It is taboo in midwestern/suburban houses to talk about things like that openly. Stow away negativity and grin and bear it. My dad would later tell my mom he’s quit the CEO job a third time and this time for good, and he’s done providing for the family saying its “her turn”.

2.5yrs later I would disown them the weekend of my sister’s wedding.

Before I left to my first apartment 2019 to distance myself from their dysfunction I combed through boxes of memory things downstairs. There was a box of movies I hadn’t seen, and I picked a few to take with me. I found 300, Dances with Wolves, The Sandlot, Finding Nemo, and Willy Wonka. When I asked if I could take those for my movie collection since they were packed in a box in a ranch house basement.

My mom told me my dad bought those movies to watch with us in California, like how we always had Friday Night AMC Cinema Secrets + the movie they went over. The thought of my dad alone in an unfriendly place driving 45-70mins out on a night after a stressful day of work well over 8hrs long, seeing some movies from when me and my siblings grew up and taking the time to lift them from the shelf, carry them to the check out, pay money for them and bring them home, then have them serve as the backdrop to my parents’ dissolving marriage and ensuing domestic struggle fills me with such a specific sadness. Having those movies sitting there, night after lonely night of just himself in California, watching his kids hate him and his wife slipping away as the job turns on him and makes him feel utterly alone in the world. Its a lot.

It was years later when I opened the plastic of each blu ray. As of this June, these movies will never serve their intended purpose, and he has himself and more to blame for it.

[cognacdelights]

im 24 years old, have never been in a relationship, have never been kissed, and have never had sex. I’ve never so much as held hands with someone on a date and I feel like it’s my biggest failure. I’ve tried several different ways to date, but they’ve all ended in rejections, so now I’m really hesitant to put myself out there.

the problem is that on September 26th, 2021, while coming out of a depressive spell, I think I met the actual love of my life. the person I’m supposed to be with. he makes me feel calm and supported and he’s kind and caring and loves animals and goes out of his way to help me. im currently seriously injured and he’s been a rock helping me through it. he wasn’t there when I got hurt, but he offered to drive from his house 45 minutes away to come be with me in the emergency room because I was scared and alone, and when I said he didn’t need to but I was still anxious, he went into “make you feel better” mode. he’s now done this multiple other times to me both in person and on text. he made sure I had a ride home from the hospital (I can’t drive right now), and then he asked how he could help so the next day he and his mom helped me get my car back to my apartment and he insisted on bringing me lunch. he loves my dog and my dog is obsessed with him, and he cleaned up her puke for me and just kindly whispered to my dog about how it was okay. he picks me up to go to our friends’ house on Friday nights, when my house is completely out of the way because he lives out of the way. his mom has driven me places, and we went on a trip last weekend together with another friend and it was incredible, I had the best time and I could literally spend every hour of the day with him. i genuinely think I’m in love with him and he makes me feel so good about life and myself and I just love being around him and I’m so lucky he’s my friend.

i want nothing more than to tell him how I feel, but I’m absolute petrified. I could get married to him right now if he asked, but I don’t think he feels the same way about me. I don’t want to fuck UO the friendship we have, he’s probably one of my closest friends right now and he is just such a good person and so genuine and kind and funny and sweet and smart and everything I could have ever DREAMED of. I have no idea what to do, I have no experience (he knows I don’t) and I want to date him so badly. i like him so much and he means so much to me, but I don’t want him to reject me too when I have these feelings for him. i would do anything for him to give me a chance, and I know I would regret it if I didn’t tell him or give it a shot, but I’m so scared it’ll end badly just like all the rest of my shots have.

i'm sorry that i didn't answer this when you sent it in, i fell asleep! it was like 5/6am for me

honestly, a lot of those things that you described are common. i'm 23 and have never been in a relationship or been on a date. there's a girl that i used to work with who's 29 and never had sex, not because she's waiting for marriage or anything like that but just because she hasn't found someone that she likes enough to have sex with. i know lots of people my age and even older that haven't been in relationships or haven't had sex. it's not as unusual as we're all led to believe. the media and social media especially has glamourised hook up culture and in that there's a lot of exaggerations and expectations and a lot of the people that are saying xyz about all of the things that they're done, probably aren't the whole truth. and even if someone has been on a thousand dates and been kissed by a hundreds of guys, it still doesn't mean they're any closer to finding someone that they love than you are. it isn't about how many people you've kissed or slept with, it's about the people you meet and the connections that you make. don't write yourself off because your body count isn't in triple figures.

and as for the rejections you feel from dating, in terms of online dating/dating apps the majority of the time it's not really a rejection. unless you specifically ask someone and they say no, it's more just a matter of not being compatible or things fizzling out yano? it's not always because someone specifically has rejected you, people get busy and have other priorities in life at that time and that's something that i've learned myself over time.

the guy sounds really sweet! i completely understand that you woulnd't want to fuck up what you already have and lose him completely but you might just do that by not telling him. the longer you leave it, the longer you give him to find someone else who will tell him how they feel, yano? i know it's awful and scary and overwhelming to talk about your feelings, especially to someone else. but you never know unless you try and if you don't you're going to be in this perpetual state of pining for him, at least you'll have a definitive answer and you can either move forward together or find a way to move on. he seems like he really cares for you so i can't imagine him suddenly declaring no contact. hopefully he's mature enough, if he doesn't feel the same way, to at least be able to maintain a friendship with you still. but have a little faith in yourself! your opinion of yourself is often a lot more negative than other people's!

#replies

[morceid]

Beating the Dead Swan

Chapter 2: lonely angels wrapped in silk

read on ao3

<- chapter one

Summary: Penelope gives the profiles of Camille and other victims like her to the team.

Word Count: 1928

Category: angst

Content Warnings: general criminal minds murder stuff

A/N: noting here that this fic takes place in 2005 when criminal minds starts and spencer is 24

It started out a simple equivocal death investigation. Seven women had been found in their apartments, dead with their wrists slashed. Unfortunately not an unusual occurrence, Detective Conner thought nothing of it. Upon trying to contact the employers of each victim, Conner found they all worked for the same people, and decided to mark them down for further investigation just in case. When the fourth victim was found in her father’s beach house just outside of Virginia, the case became federal and handed to the FBI.

The case, being low priority, was given to Derek Morgan to monitor the progress of. 

“You’re completely sure there’s nothing about the bodies that connect these victims?”

“Agent Morgan, if there was anything I would tell you. I think it’s time you tell Detective Conner to rule these deaths a suicide.”

“Alright, will do.” Derek hung up with the coroner. Just then his mobile phone rang with the number of the detective displayed on the top of the screen. Derek sighed.

“Agent Morgan.” He answered.

“Agent, there’s another victim-”

“Conner, listen, they aren’t connected, there is no signature unless you can consider the suicide, I think you oughtta-”

“She was called in by a friend. Not a family member, not an apartment manager, not a coworker, a real friend. Derek, he’s devolving.”

Derek sighed, “Detective, I’ll let you send her body over to the coroner but I doubt there will be anything remarkable.”

There was some mumbling on the other end of the line before Detective Conner gave a response.

“That’s the thing, Agent Morgan, this victim is remarkable. She had piercing holes in her ears just like the others.”

“And how is that remarkable?”

“Her ears weren’t pierced.”

“And you’re sure about that, Detective?”

“Her best friend swears it. Do you think they could be puncture marks?”

“I’m not sure, let me tell Doctor Phyllis.”

Derek set down his mobile phone and dialed the coroner on his office phone.

“Doctor Phyllis?”

“You back again so soon, Agent?”

“Look, we got a new victim, she's got puncture marks on her ears. Not piercings, puncture marks. Can you check the other victims to make sure they’re not puncture marks?”

“Okay, give me a minute.”

Derek heard the sound of doors opening.

“Well, shit, they are puncture marks. On every single ear.”

“Thanks, Doctor Phyllis.”

Derek hung up on the office phone.

“Do I still have you here, Detective?”

“Yep. Were they piercings?”

“Nope. Bring in the girl’s friend and call in the family members of the other victims. We’re gonna need to talk to them.”

Derek hung up the phone and ran up to Hotch’s office.

“Something up, Morgan?” Hotch asked.

“You know that case Detective Conner asked me to look into?”

“The one with the suicides?”

“Yeah, well they might not be suicides. I’m having Conner bring in some people to ask them some questions. You mind if I ask Rossi and Prentiss to help?”

“Of course not, but if we get another case then leave the questioning for Detective Conner, alright?”

“Gotcha, boss.”

Derek gathered Rossi, Prentiss, and Penelope in the break room to discuss the case.

“Babygirl, you want to read out the profiles of our victims?”

“Reluctantly,” Penelope pulled up each of the files onto her laptop. “Danica Wilson, a 45 year old woman, was found by her landlord. She grew up in Victoria, Canada, but when she was 12, her parents got a divorce. Her mother moved her and her three siblings to North Dakota shortly after. All throughout highschool she seemed immensely interested in biology and chemistry. She was really good at it too, she took AP classes and she was a promising student. Unfortunately, her mom didn’t want her to do anything of the sort, and set her up for ballet classes her junior year. To appease her mom she studied the history of dance during college and ended up climbing up from an intern at a dance company all the way to a choreographer. Her love for science was still there the whole way through though, she’s been taking free college courses online for biology for about a year. She was found with her wrists slashed and spread out in a star shape on the middle of her bed. There were no fingerprints anywhere in her home and the slashes appeared to be self inflicted. Her mom died a week before she was found, all of her siblings live in other states, and she didn't have any close friends. She never dated, even though she had perfect brown eyes and blonde hair. According to her siblings she had all of the boys at her school after her. Despite there being no evidence of depression or other mental illness officers deemed her mothers death as a stressor and marked her death a suicide.”

“Then we have Maya Peto, 22 years old, found by her sister.”

“So there’s no age preference?” Rossi asked.

“Precisely,” Penelope continued, “She grew up in Detroit. Her parents raised her in a Christian household and shes been openly gay since she was 18. Her dad died when she was 14, leaving Maya and one sister to be raised by their mother. She did exceptionally well in math, but seemed to have no interest in pursuing it as a career. Instead, she became captain of her dance team in highschool and went to Wirtson’s Dance Academy for college. Her last year there, she was picked by Next Star Theatre Company, the same one as all of the other victims, to be on their ballet team. She was found just like Danica, and would be just like the rest of the victims. Her now ex-girlfriend and her had a kid, his name is Gene, he’s a year old, and Maya had full custody of him because Khloe, the girlfriend, had begun doing drugs about a week after Gene was born. How could lesbians have a child? Khloe was cheating. Maya gained full custody of Gene after a year long legal battle, and she had left him with her sister for a weekend while she baby proofed her house. Unfortunately, when she went to Maya’s apartment to return Gene, she found her dead. It was the anniversary of her father’s death when she was found, so the ever so ignorant officers deemed it another suicide.

“Then we have Annie Carr, 24. A coworker found her. Born here in Virginia, Annie was raised by her dad after her mom died when she was about one. She seemed to have a pretty awesome life. Her dad worked two jobs and she’s never had all that much money, but she was a happy kid. She went to a community college and ended up taking the same internship that Danica Wilson took, but she has stayed in that internship for years, mooching money off of her dad and siblings. Mabel Golden, the coworker that found her, claims that there’s no way Annie could’ve killed herself. She didn’t show any signs of depression or mental illness, though she could be pessimistic at times. Mabel said their boss was threatening to let her go, seeing as she hasn’t improved her work ethic in the last five years. Deemed another suicide.

“The fourth victim was Valentine Orange, 36, found by her father. She grew up in Maryland, started acting and dancing at six, her family was pretty wealthy, and she got accepted into the same dance academy and theatre company as Maya Peto. She also danced on the same ballet team. She told her team leader she was going away for a week to her father’s beach house, and when her father came to get her on the day she was supposed to leave, he found her in the guest bedroom, just like the other victims. The beach house was located in Maryland, and due to Detective Cooper’s hunch, the case got handed to us for an equivocal death investigation.

“Francis Falstaff, our fifth victim, was found by her adoptive mother. She was 22. Both of her parents died in a car crash a month after she was born, so she grew up in a multitude of foster homes. When she was ten her and her sister were adopted by Baron Falstaff and Maggie Falstaff. They seemed to be good parents. They went to all of their school events and paid for both of the girls’ college tuition. Francis was trying to make it into the same theatre company that employed the rest of the victims, specifically to work as a jazz dancer. She seemed to have killed herself, just like the rest of the victims, but her mom insists that she couldn’t have. She had a very promising life ahead of her. When they dissected her room they found an evidence board in the back of her closet. Her sister, Yvette, was stabbed to death a couple years back on the way to a party, and Francis was obsessed with finding the killer. Which is why she didn’t have many friends. When it was all processed, they found that the evidence led to Yvette’s boyfriend at the time. It was assumed that this weighed heavily enough on Francis that she ended up, well you know, on the same day she found out.

“Jane Sweeney, the second to last victim who worked on the Next Star Theatre Company ballet team, was 29. She’s been with the company since she was 20, and unfortunately her private teacher was the one who found her. Her father left when she was young. She liked expressing all of her success, almost narcissistically so. According to some other people on the dance team she was the best dancer and loved flaunting it. She was a kind of queen bee and seemed to value herself more than others most of the time. It just doesn’t make sense for her to kill herself.

“Lillian Bonner was the next victim. She was 54. She taught modern dance at the company. She lived with and was found by her only son, Tyrell, who she had with her husband Ivan. Though they were still legally married, the two were separated. Tyrell, who’s 16, said she was a fantastic mom. She always made sure he was fed and had someone to talk to. He told her practically everything about his life and he is having a really difficult time without her. He doesn’t believe that she would do that to herself.

“Our last victim was Camille Price. She was 25. Her best friend, Spencer Reid, who was on the same ballet team, found her. She was the only one who really had people around her. She grew up in Virginia with her parents and two brothers, one older, one younger. She visited them whenever she could. Everyone in her apartment building loved her, she even made dinner for one of the elderly occupants every Friday. Spencer doubts there is anything that would want to make her commit suicide, and to put the icing on the cake, there were puncture marks on her ears that police mistook for piercings. ‘What were they?’ you ask? Injection sites. How do we know this? Spencer swore that there was no way they could be piercings because Camille never wore earrings the entire 8 years he knew her because the Next Star Theatre Company does not allow their dancers to wear piercings or jewelry.”

“Alright, let’s go see if these people got any info for us.” Rossi got out of his seat and headed towards the interview rooms.

TAGLIST: @hotchrocket @hotpotatowoman @thisdeathtollbringsnopeace @endingsbeginnings @d3pr3ss3d-w33d-wh0re @nonbinary-spencie @moss0ntherocks @scandinavian-punk @drinkingcroissants @penemily @izzyl13 @leomo0n @tiedyedrose1705 @natclis

#moreid #criminal minds #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #original female character #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #tw murder #tw death #tw bruises #emily prentiss #david rossi #penelope garcia #angst #criminal minds angst

[miracleonice87]

Say You Won’t Let Go

a Sidney Crosby wedding series

Part 1

a/n: here’s part 1 of ??? ! It won’t be a long series, maybe 2 or 3 parts, but I just want to keep the door open for more!

summary: a Pittsburgh royal wedding. Juliette Lemieux (100% made up) is the niece of Pittsburgh legend Mario Lemieux, who is practically a father to her. She falls in love with Sidney Crosby after meeting him as a college student while living in Pittsburgh. this series tells the story of their fairytale wedding weekend.

warnings: brief mention of deceased family member. otherwise, so damn fluffy it’s practically cotton candy.

_____

I burst through the door of my uncle’s palatial home to find him standing in the grand entryway waiting for me, my aunt and four cousins not far behind him.

“Bonjour!” I greeted them, scurrying toward my uncle’s open arms. He pulled me into his six-foot-four frame, a whole foot taller than my own, for a warm hug with a wide smile on his face, one that looked so much like my late father’s. A sharp pang went through my heart at the thought, causing me to hold onto him tighter.

“Juliette! Bonjour, princesse,” Mario said warmly, kissing the top of my head. “Tu es si belle!” (You look so beautiful!) he exclaimed, pulling back and holding my smaller hands in his large ones. I beamed.

“Merci, oncle,” (Thank you, uncle) I thanked him, dropping my head a bit bashfully as he took in the sight of me, dressed in a classic white sheath dress and strappy nude heeled sandals. I could see the tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he stared at me. I knew just what he was thinking.

“Don’t start crying already, or I’ll be crying for the next 48 hours!” I warned, a laugh escaping me despite my and my uncle’s evident shared sadness over my father’s absence from this special moment.

“I’ll try my best,” Mario promised. All I could do was nod and squeeze his hands.

My aunt Nathalie enveloped me next, kissing my cheeks before audibly admiring my new diamond choker. I reached up to touch it and felt a blush creep onto my face at almost the same moment I felt a warm hand come from behind me and rest on my hip. I glanced in the familiar figure’s direction.

Sidney leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to my temple. I placed my palm flat against his stomach and gave him a bright grin.

“Thank you,” I said to Nathalie. “Sidney gave it to me before we left the house, as a wedding present,” I added softly, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. As a rule, I never bragged to anyone about the extravagant gifts that my fiancé often lavished upon me, but I certainly didn’t mind giving Sidney full credit in front of only my aunt, who knew us both so well.

Nathalie’s eyes widened slightly and she gave Sidney’s upper arm a squeeze. “Well done, my boy! It’s so beautiful,” she praised. He kissed her cheek and said, “I have you to thank — every time I shop for jewelry, I hear your voice in my head.” Nathalie laughed. “You’ve always heeded my advice! Not that you needed much of it. You have wonderful taste — in jewelry and women,” she teased, giving us a wink.

Sidney and I both chuckled and then greeted my cousins excitedly — Lauren, Stephanie, Austin, and Alexa, with whom we were both incredibly close, with Sidney having lived with them for several years at the beginning of his career. We had that arrangement and Mario’s longtime mentorship of Sidney to thank for the two of us ever meeting in the first place.

Growing up, I had typically visited with Mario’s family three or four times each year, whether in Pittsburgh or in his and my shared hometown, just outside Montreal. My father, Mario’s oldest brother, had passed away suddenly from a massive heart attack at 45, when I was only 12, shattering my world during a crucial time in my adolescence. While my mother did her best to financially provide for me, an only child, she had always been emotionally unavailable to me — even when I was very young. I was always a daddy’s girl, making the loss of him that much more jarring. My mother shut down completely after my father’s death, and my aunt and uncle took notice immediately, worried for my well-being. They became my unofficial guardians and quasi-parents.

In the years that followed, I started to spend even more time in Pittsburgh with Mario, Nathalie, and my cousins, with my uncle quickly stepping in to fill the role of a father figure for me in place of his older brother. I was sandwiched between their two oldest, Lauren and Stephanie, age-wise, almost exactly. For many years, but particularly after my father’s death, I had lived with them for several months out of the year, around my school schedule.

Mario and Nathalie included me in every family vacation, holiday celebration, and birthday party possible, even purchasing my first car and paying for my private school and then college education. At 18, I decided to move to Pittsburgh officially to attend Duquesne University, just a block from the Penguins arena, as a marketing major, allowing me to spend much of my free time with my family at Mario’s house, where, at the tender age of 18, I met Sidney.

I owed nearly every good thing in my life to Mario and Nathalie, including intimately encouraging me to pursue a relationship with Sidney, after some initial reservations about our age difference, which quickly faded as they saw Sidney and I grow closer together. They had truly done it all for me, and now, they were throwing me a rehearsal dinner in their sprawling backyard in just a couple of hours, along with a wedding reception to follow tomorrow’s church ceremony.

As Mario walked out the back door to speak to some of the rental company employees finalizing the set-up of our beautiful tent and chairs for tonight’s dinner and tomorrow’s reception, and Nathalie and my cousins scattered to grab their belongings, Sidney pulled me to his body, his hand on my lower back. He simply stared at me with a satisfied look on his face, causing my pulse to quicken as I looped my arms around his neck.

“What are you thinking about, mon amour?” (my love) I inquired. Sidney shook his head slightly.

“Everything. How beautiful you look right now. How beautiful you’ll look tomorrow. How beautiful you’ll look when you’re carrying my baby,” he told me, placing soft kisses to my face between each thought. “How beautiful you’ll look with our little ones in your arms. How beautiful you’ll look when you’re 90.” I smoothed my fingers over the neat hair at the nape of his neck, a wide smile across my features.

“When I’m 90, you’ll be 97,” I offered, feeling as though I might burst into tears unless I broke up the moment with some levity. Sidney laughed loudly and then groaned. “Don’t remind me, please,” he begged. I leaned up to kiss his plump lips. “Okay, I won’t,” I whispered against his mouth, causing a soft moan to escape him.

Just as I pulled away from him, my maid of honor, ever the Type A event coordinator, called to us from across the spacious room.

“Come on, lovebirds,” Lauren teased, smiling. We both looked to her, still wrapped up in each others’ arms, and saw her tap the face of her gold watch. “We’ve gotta be at the chapel in 30 minutes and it’ll take every bit of that to make it,” she added.

“Leave them alone!” Alexa piped up, giggling as she adjusted her heels. “They were having a moment.” Her older brother rolled his eyes, grabbing his sunglasses from the coffee table in front of him.

“Have you met them?” Austin joked. “They’re always having a moment.” Nathalie appeared from the hallway, fastening the back of her earring, and mused, “And that’s why they’ll be married for the next hundred years.” She winked in our direction.

Sidney looked down at me and waggled his eyebrows, making me giggle. I smoothed my fingers over the collar of his crisp new white golf polo, which he had matched with a pair of navy blue slacks and loafers, a signature look of his.

“I suppose they’re right, my blushing bride,” he said. “Let me put my overnight bag in the guest room and we’ll be on our way.” I nodded as he pressed a kiss to my cheekbone and turned to pick up his leather travel bag near the door and took it to the basement, his former living quarters.

With both of us being fairly traditional people, we had agreed to sleep apart the night before the wedding to honor the age-old custom, despite having lived together for almost two years. To combat that complication, Sidney had insisted that I be the one to stay in our house for the night and that he stay at Mario’s, since he, my uncle, Austin, and Sidney’s father and groomsmen were meeting there the following morning anyway for a game of golf at the fabled Oakmont Country Club prior to the ceremony. He wanted me to feel as comfortable as possible as I got ready for our big day.

After a minute or so, Sidney’s hands came to rest on my waist from behind me, and I smirked to myself at how clingy and affectionate he had been these last several weeks as we prepared to begin our lives as husband and wife.

“You ready for this, Jules? There’s still time to run,” Sidney purred softly into my ear, kissing the skin there.

I turned to face him, holding his jaw in one hand. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” I murmured before kissing him long and hard.

#sidney crosby #hockeyblr #hockey fanfiction #hockey writing #hockey fanfic #hockey fic #sidney crosby fic #sidney crosby fanfic #sidney crosby fanfiction #sidney crosby imagine #crosby #mario lemieux #pittsburgh penguins #nhl #nhl writing #nhl hockey #nhl fanfiction #nhl fanfic #nhl fic #sidney crosby writing #hockey fluff #nhl fluff #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #hockey #say you won’t let go x sidney crosby

[mcwriting]

sweet home alabama (2)

Hi all! Between marriage project and some one shots, I decided to upload this chapter!

Reminder: Characters have strong southern accents (save for Tom in the present).

Masterlist

Word Count: 2618

Warnings: slight injury mention

∆ present ∆

The weekend came and went, allowing Tom some time to get a new wardrobe for farmwork and acquire a pair of boots, as his last pair had been passed down and worn out by Sam years ago.

Tom had been enjoying a peaceful rest when he was jolted awake by two hands forcefully shaking him.

“What the- Sam! What are you doing?” Tom exclaimed, sitting up.

“You gotta go to Mel’s today, right? Sun rises in an hour. Better get up and eat ‘fore you head over there,” the younger brother explained. Tom tossed back his head and groaned.

“Fine. I’ll get up,” he replied, tossing off his quilt and sheet.

With the money Tom had made in recent years, he had been able to send some home every so often, which helped fund a much needed expansion of the family home. Unfortunately, they hadn’t added enough bathrooms for each brother to get their own.

“Tom! What in God’s name is taking you so long! You’re gonna be working cotton not modeling it!” Harry yelled, pounding on the door.

“Alright alright! It’s all yours!” Tom exclaimed as he opened up the door. Harry couldn’t help but laugh at his brother.

Though Tom had dressed in a button up, jeans, and boots, he had also made sure to style his hair until every wisp sat straight.

“You know you’re gonna sweat that gel off in ten minutes, right? Especially if you wear a hat.”

Tom rolled his eyes.

“Harry, you know me. There’s always a camera somewhere. Gotta be ready for anything. And it’s pomade, not gel.”

The other young twin just rolled his eyes back and slammed the door shut.

∆

A few minutes down the road, y/n was getting ready to start her own day. She rose at dawn like always, stretching a bit and hopping out of bed.

Though she was living a country life, she still took the time to do a full skincare routine, being especially attentive to the products she used and how much sunscreen she applied.

Since she wouldn’t be at any farms in the morning, y/n put on leggings and tshirt and headed out the door, a granola bar in hand. She only had to drive a mile away to get to the “s.h.e.d.”

As usual, she was the first one there, so she keyed in and turned on all the lights. She took in a deep breath of the smells of the soil and chemicals around her as she tossed on her lab coat.

You didn’t think she was any ordinary farm girl, did you?

In reality, she had actually gone to UCLA, getting degrees in both chemistry and environmental engineering. Now she had spent the last year doing research thanks to a grant to improve the agricultural health of her hometown so she could eventually receive a master’s degree.

But we’ll talk more on that later.

Now that the sun was finally peeking above the horizon, her two lab assistants finally showed up.

Her assistants, Ciara and Jacob, were students at a community college in the town 45 minutes away. They were bright and the three always enjoyed working together, as they played fun music and conversed while recording research.

“Hey! Glad y’all could finally make it! Y’all know that last week I collected more samples from Mel’s, so today I want to prepare a gram from each jar in solution so we can run samples and start looking at what nutrients need supplementing and where so I can put a fertilizer together for tomorrow.”

The two were happy to follow their boss’s instruction, and y/n couldn’t help but smile as she scanned over her lab, remembering where she started.

∆ 16 years old ∆

Y/n had always been good at school.

A straight A student, never one to act out or deliberately miss work. Everyone knew she was bright, and she continued to prove that as she aged.

By sophomore year of high school, she was already an above-average scorer on the ACT and was taking courses above her grade level to keep from boring herself.

But in a town as small as hers, one could only get so advanced in high school alone.

Thankfully once she was a junior, the community college Ciara and Jacob were now attending allowed students to enroll in some basic online classes and receive credit, so long as they had good enough internet connection.

Because she was ahead, y/n had a free period where she could mooch off of the school’s wifi in an empty classroom. However, she didn’t have the same luxury at home, and had to go to Tom’s to complete any assignments after school.

By this point, Tom had been going to small auditions for a couple years, picking up the occasional commercial role and making a few bucks here and there, enough to get his family better TV and internet, anyways.

“Hey, y/n?” Tom asked one day, late in the fall. He laid back on the bed, tossing a foam basketball above his head while y/n worked on her college math class from the floor. She hummed in response, holding a pencil between her teeth.

“What are you plannin’ to do with all this college stuff anyways?” he asked. His accent was still as strong as ever. He hadn’t taught himself to let it go yet.

“I’on know. Maybe git a degree and move out of this town for a while. Find a real job that ain’t baling hay or planting stuff. You know I really love science,” she replied. She knew she had a lot of options, she was only a couple points away from that perfect ACT score by now.

There was a pause as she continued to tap numbers into a calculator and record them.

“I got another audition ‘fore thanksgiving,'' Tom announced after a while. Y/n didn’t look up.

“Oh yeah? What for, toothpaste ad or somethin’?”

“Uh, no actually. This one’s for a movie. A real movie.”

Y/n dropped the pencil and looked up at Tom, pushing up from the ground to sit on her knees as he sat up straight.

“Really? You’re serious? You ain’t pulling my leg or something?”

Tom smiled big and nodded.

“I mean it. I really got this audition coming up.”

“Oh my gosh, TOM!”

Y/n quickly stood up, tackling her best friend in a hug, practically ending up on his lap. They stayed that way for a while.

“Tom, this is seriously incredible. You’re gonna be in a movie!”

He pulled back quickly.

“Don’t be too quick, now. This is only an audition, there’s no way to say I’ll actually get the part-” he started, but y/n got off him and kneeled on the floor, so that her eyes were level with his and she could grab his upper arms to look at him directly.

“You’re gonna get that part,” she smiled, unable to contain her excitement. “You’re gonna nail that audition, and you’re getting that part. This is gonna be your big break, I just know it.”

“Thanks for believin’ in me. Hopefully I won’t prove you a liar this time,” he replied, pulling her up into another hug.

She ended up being right, too, because after his first audition, he got a callback during Christmas break and secured the role which he’d film the summer between junior and senior year.

The pair knew they were really starting to grow up, but didn’t let their different pursuits come between them just yet.

Tom was the one who drove her to her final ACT where she got her perfect score (since she didn’t have a car yet), and the movie filmed a few hours away in the Birmingham area (where y/n drove Tom’s truck in his absence since he was still too young to live there alone).

It worked, for the most part.

∆ present ∆

Tom drew in a sharp breath and winced, limping through the barn and plopping onto a hay bale as he gulped down some water. He had been walking up and down the rows watering the plants, as the four-wheeler Melanie’s dad typically used to water was broken.

“How’s it looking, Mr. Carmichael?” he asked, dabbing away the sweat on his forehead with a towel as he rehydrated.

The older gentleman stood up and looked at Tom.

“Well, son. I’ve almost got this thing here fixed, but you ain’t looking too good,” he pointed out.

“What do you mean, sir?” Tom asked. He may have lost his accent, but didn’t forget his manners.

“Looks like you’ve been ridin’ horses the way you’re walkin’. New boots? Not to mention that sunburn you’re startin’ to nurse. Why don’t you run up to the house and have Mel fix those up. I’m sure her momma fixed some lunch for ya, too.”

“A- are you sure, sir? I’ve only got about 10 more rows before I’m done.”

“No, no. It’s alright, boy. Run along and fix yourself up. I’ll handle the rest.”

Tom thanked the man and slowly got up, immediately remembering the pain in his feet and now aware of the stinging on his cheeks.

He’d forgotten that boots don’t really break themselves in and he hadn’t worn very thick socks. He also had somehow neglected that the sun beats just as hard in the farmlands as it does in Malibu.

He waddled up to the house, where Melanie was on the porch reading a book.

“Well by God, Tom. You’re walkin’ like you just got your back blown out for the first time,” she laughed, causing his cheeks to redden more.

“They’re new boots, alright? Now could you help me out? Your dad said you might know of something?”

She looked past him towards the barn, then closed her book and nodded her head towards the door, standing.

“Come on. Momma made you a sandwich if you want it. You can leave your boots by the door.”

They headed inside, a large living room on the right and the kitchen to the left. Tom wiggled his shoes and socks off in the entryway as Melanie ducked into a hallway to grab a few things.

“Oh Tom! I’m glad you came in! Are you hungry? I’ve got lunch for ya,” Mrs. Carmichael said as she appeared from the kitchen.

“That would be really nice, Mrs. Carmichael. Thank you,” he replied as she sat him down at the kitchen table, placing a plate with a turkey sandwich and some chips in front of him along with a glass of sweet tea.

He dug into the meal, immediately realizing just how hungry he really was. By the time he’d finished the sandwich (which really didn’t take that long), Melanie appeared with a laundry basket full of stuff. Tom washed down his meal with some tea before speaking.

“Jesus, Mel, how much does it take to patch up some blisters?” he asked.

“First off, don’t be takin’ the Lord’s name in vain in this house,” she commanded, pointing her head towards her mother in the living room, to which Tom covered his mouth and shot a thumbs up. “And second, I figured it best just to grab all my stuff than dig through it.”

She plopped the basket on the table and herself into the seat next to Tom, stealing a chip from his plate. It crunched in her mouth as she began pulling out random things like a stethoscope, a blood pressure cuff, and meds.

“What’s that all for?” Tom asked, brows furrowed. Melanie gave back an equally confused look and went back to digging.

“What do you mean? They’re just medical supplies.”

“Well, yeah, but I mean why do you have a stethoscope and stuff?”

She paused what she was doing and looked back up at Tom.

“You do know I’m a nurse, right?” she asked. She immediately knew he didn’t by the way his eyes popped open.

After high school, Melanie had been able to go off and get her nursing degree, now working in the closest hospital which was, you guessed it, 45 minutes away.

She usually worked 12 hour shifts at the hospital Tuesday through Thursday, spending her other days at home so she could respond to small needs around town, especially on weekends when people liked to get drunk and be reckless.

“Oh, wow. I didn’t realize that. Good for you,” Tom replied, unsure of what else to say.

“It’s alright. You’ve been gone quite a while and we all know you ain’t checking in on what happens ‘round these parts no more. Now take this and let me grab the aloe from the fridge,” she said, dropping two advil on his plate and getting up.

Tom did as told, feeling the weight of what she had dismissively said. He really hadn’t checked in since leaving. Sure, his brothers and Harrison sometimes kept him in the loop. At least, he thought so.

He was trying to remember what the last big piece of news he had heard about home was, but came up short. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had seen anything on social media about home, since he’d unfollowed most of the people back home after his career took off.

They all reminded him of y/n anyways.

“You mind if I put some of this on your face?” Melanie asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. He obliged and she spread some of the cool aloe gel over his sunburn.

“Feel better?” she asked, to which he nodded. “Good, now let’s take a look at those blisters.”

She cringed when she saw how beat up his feet were. She pulled out a bit of numbing gel, hydrocolloid bandages, and fabric tape. Soon enough, she had his blisters all covered up and was handing him some more bandages and tape.

“Now I want you to leave these on as long as possible, alright? When they fall off or the spot in the middle gets too big, you’ll switch ‘em out for new. You should be in ship shape here in a few days. And you best not forget sunscreen from now on.”

“Will do. Thanks again, Mel. Hard to believe I’ve been gone long enough for you to become a nurse and all, huh?” Tom asked, half joking. Melanie nodded.

“Yeah, well. ‘Lot’s changed around here, even if it don’t look like it. You’d be surprised… Now before I forget...” Melanie quickly got up and left the room, returning with two wood and metal contraptions. “Here’s some boot stretchers to put in your shoes when you get home. Should help stretch ‘em out and I’m sure the boys would lend you some leather conditioner.”

With that, Tom put his boots back on and thanked Mrs. Carmichael for the meal, heading back outside. He found Mr. Carmichael sitting on the now-functioning four wheeler.

“Well, boy, you all good?” the older man asked.

“Yes sir. Melanie got me all taped up and your wife made a great lunch. So what else do you need me to do?”

Mr. Carmichael looked around for a moment, staring at a few things, then back at Tom.

“Well I got the rest all watered and y/n won’t be around with fertilizer till tomorrow so why don’t you go home and rest up those feet, eh?”

Tom tried to object, as it was still quite early in the day, but the old man wouldn’t have it. He eventually conceded and gave one last thank you, hopping into his old truck and heading home, pondering why y/n would be bringing fertilizer in the coming day.

∆

A/N: hope you guys are liking this story so far! I really love the time jumping, and the progression of it in future chapters is really cool!

Send a message or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify you’ve been added!

Tag list: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @l0lmk, @primadonnasdream, @bookworm06, @thenoddingbunny-blog, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @stxfxniexreads, @mortallythoughtfulgurl, @onebigolemess, @justafangirlduh,

#sweet home alabama #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland story

[deafgaynerd]

what happens after dinner

Malcolm and Edrisa attend family dinner for the first time as an official couple.

(written for @brighttanaka)

check it out on ao3

Malcolm Bright walked into the Major Crimes meeting room to clean up their most recent case board. He had caught their killer by doing what he does best, going just far enough into danger that he succeeds (while also making everyone else worry) but not far enough to die. He organized everything into case files to put into storage. The Major Crimes team filed into the room for a debrief. 

Gil Arroyo, Dani Powell, and JT Tarmel joined Malcolm in the room. They didn’t sit down, instead electing to stand around the table as all attention turned to Gil. He went over assignments for paperwork, gave out praise for closing the case and thanked Malcolm for joining them. He did this after every case, thanking Malcolm for his work as if he was unaware that Malcolm was always, constantly itching to work on a new case, to solve a new murder. Gil made sure each case ended in a way that if Malcolm ever had to stop consulting, heaven forbid, his last case ended well and he was in good standing with each person on the team. That, and he knew that someone needed to praise Malcolm for being as smart as he was. Many people just expected him to be smart, they didn’t feel the need to congratulate him or tell him that whatever he did for the case was helpful and productive. Malcolm needed this occasionally though, and since Gil knew this, he made it a part of their case-ending routine.

Gil ended the meeting with a promise to see them all at family dinner and sent them all to their respective partners. Bright is the last to walk towards the door before he’s summoned back to talk with his surrogate dad.

“I know this is Edrisa’s first family dinner as your girlfriend, but make sure she knows that she doesn’t have to act any different than she is. We all know her, and we love her for who she is, she doesn’t have to impress us by being someone else,” Gil told Malcolm as he picked up the file box and walked towards the door.

“You do know that I can’t make Edrisa do anything, right?” Malcolm reminds the lieutenant. “I will remind her, though. If only to help reassure her. Dinner’s at 7:30 right?”

“Yeah, but you know your mother, you better-” Gil began.

“-Get there by 6:30, I know. Thanks, Gil. I’m going to go see if Edrisa is ready now. See you later.” Malcolm left Gil to put up the case file in the records room. 

Malcolm made his way to his girlfriend’s office a few levels down. His new romantic partner was the medical examiner for this NYPD precinct, Edrisa Tanaka. Edrisa had an eccentric personality that Malcolm had been drawn to ever since he started consulting for Gil. They had so much in common and were constantly in awe of each other’s intellect. They understood each other very well and were nearly perfectly in sync, saving each other from dangerous things at crime scenes, and just being able to brainstorm about cases together. 

Of course, Malcolm and Edrisa had things in common other than work. They were both interested in the same type of things, between human anatomy, ancient weaponry, and classic stories, among other things, they curated a wonderful friendship that blossomed to a romantic one. Malcolm was always worried that with everything that he deals with, he would overwhelm Edrisa, but she reassures him this isn’t the case, whenever he needs to hear it. 

Edrisa and Malcolm fit each other well, so well, in fact, that Edrisa says “Hi Bright!” before Malcolm has pulled his second foot across the threshold of the morgue. He smiled and walked the rest of the way to his girlfriend. “I figured you would be done soon,” she revealed. “I knew you finished the case, and Gil’s speeches tend to be around the same length each time.”

Malcolm smiled at her, nodding. “Are you ready to head home to get dressed for dinner at the Whitly House, Ris?” He asked, moving directly in front of her to capture her attention.

“I just have to finish filling out today’s paperwork on this autopsy, it should only take a few minutes.” Edrisa told him, smiling. She then proceeded to explain what she had found out in this autopsy, a case Bright was not assigned to, and Malcolm listened intently, fascinated by not only her findings, but the passion with which she talked about her cases. Once Edrisa had finished, Malcolm helped her gather her things and they headed to the car. 

When they got home, Edrisa held up two outfits. “Which one do you think would go over the best with your family?” She asked. “Ainsley helped me pick out some clothes that would look appropriate for your mother, which one do you think I should wear? I don’t want to wear something that would upset Jessica Whitly, ” 

Malcolm studied the two outfits. One was a knee-length, emerald dress. The other was a navy blue suit with a lighter blue patterned shirt underneath. “I think you should go with the suit, it feels more “Edrisa.” Besides, my mother loves you already, Everyone who will be there loves you already. This will go fine, I promise.” 

She nodded and left to change. “I know that I already know everyone, Malcolm, but this time it’s different. This time we’re going as a couple.”

“Edrisa, it’s just our friends and my family. You got this. We’ve got this. I’ll be right by your side the whole time.” Malcolm reassured her. She walked out and he couldn’t help but stare. She looked gorgeous. “Wow, Ris, you look amazing.” He got up and walked over to her, grabbing her hands and looking into her eyes. “We got this.” He said again.

“We got this,” Edrisa repeated.

The pair arrived at the Whitly House at 6:30 on the dot. Gil was already there, of course. So were Ainsley and Dani, since Ainsley had decided to live at home again to help out their mom and Dani coming over to visit her girlfriend before dinner. The only couple missing were the Tarmels. They started joining family dinners when Dani and Ainsley got together, because it didn’t feel right to have 3/4 of the team at dinner. They also invited Edrisa, before she and Bright had gotten together, and she had been participating. It had been a few weeks since Malcolm and Edrisa became a couple, but Edrisa had been busy for the past few family dinners. This was their very first one as an official couple.

At 6:45, JT and Tally came in, sheepishly. “We’re sorry, Jessica, the babysitter was late.” JT informed the night’s hostess. “We made dessert though. We brought brownies.”

“Who is this “we” you speak of, JT Tarmel.” Tally scolded, making Jessica laugh. Gil took the tray of brownies from JT and put them in the kitchen. 

“Now that we’re all here, let’s have a drink and prepare for dinner,” Jessica announced. 

At 7:30, the group sat down at the dinner table as the waiter brought out their dishes. They ate peacefully for a while, making small talk with the people around them. It was nice, getting to catch up with all their friends outside of work. They made sure to have family dinner at least once a week, because Jessica wanted to know what was happening with her children. All of them, which now included JT and Tally. 

“Edrisa, I hope Malcolm is treating you well,” Jessica said loud enough that everyone can hear. “I taught him better than to treat you poorly.” 

“Oh! Ma’am, Malcolm is wonderful. He’s so attentive, he’s kind, he’s sweet, he doesn’t leave a girl hanging, if you know what I mean,” Edrisa says, smiling at Malcolm who, all of a sudden, has a look of panic on his face. Most people can’t tell, but Edrisa has noticed. “He’s very thoughtful,” Edrisa continued, “and he loves me, too, even if he doesn’t know it yet.” She looked at Jessica with that statement and Jessica couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m sure he does,” she responded before going back to talking with Gil. No doubt, they’re discussing how all of their kids ended up dating each other. Or, something about how they ended up here. They’re sentimental like that during family dinners. 

After dinner and dessert, the couples broke off, heading to their own places. Edrisa and Malcolm went back to Malcolm’s place, where Edrisa always stayed over the weekend. They crawled into bed, Edrisa reading Dracula, sitting up against the headboard, and Malcolm scrolling on his phone, reading over a new psychological research paper. Edrisa has a favorite out of Malcolm’s clothes to wear, his old Harvard sweatshirt. No matter how many times it gets washed, it always smelled like Bright, and it was the warmest and coziest out of all of his tops, and he knew to leave it ready for her when they came home for the weekend. 

After finishing his article, Malcolm rolled over to lean against Edrisa. “Are you done yet, Ris?” He asked her. She looked down and smiled, before lifting her arms up to let him lay on her more. 

“I am not done reading yet, no. I’ll tell you when I am.” She responds to him. Malcolm takes the invitation and lays his head on her shoulder while she reads. He wraps his arms around her torso while she brings her hands back down, using his back as a resting place for the book and running the other hand through his hair. She knew that the best way for him to not have nightmares was for him to be holding onto her, and she knew that dealing with his family always exhausted him and he could use the rest. 

Malcolm eventually fell asleep cuddling her while Edrisa finished rereading her book. She turned off the light and moved just enough so that she's laying down with him. She fell asleep in his arms and it’s the best sleep either of them has had in a while. 

#malcolm bright #maldrisa #edrisa tanaka #malcolm x edrisa #prodigal son #gilica #gil x jessica #dani x ainsley #dainsley #dansley #jessica whitly #gil arroyo #dani powell #ainsley whitly #jt tarmel #tally tarmel

[bettsfic]

hi, i was reading your years in review and i noticed that you quit a job of many years to go your own way. i was wondering if you would mind talking about this decision/if you struggled with it? idk i've always told myself that i wouldn't let the idea of a "career" get in the way of what i want (e.g. writing) and that one day (shortly after 30?) i would just quit whatever job i had and go my own way, but as that deadline comes up i find it harder to imagine how i could just uproot myself...

yes, i very much did struggle with the decision to quit (what i thought was) my very stable and lucrative career in finance to get an MFA in creative writing. it’s a bit of a long story so i’m putting it under a cut.

warning for suicidality and sexual assault.

i used to believe i grew up poor, but it was the 90s so poverty looked very different. my dad didn’t work for a long time, and so we only had one income, and we lived in an apartment that was kind of a lowkey hoarder home. as a kid, all i knew was that i didn’t get to have toys, or my own space, and i wasn’t allowed to have friends over. the concept of an allowance was totally alien to me. but it also wasn’t like i ever went hungry. the food we had wasn’t particularly healthy but it was always there.

i didn’t really realize how much that instability affected me until much later, when i noticed other people hadn’t lived their entire lives aware of and obsessed with money. i used to compulsively count the change in my piggy bank and beg my mom to take it so she could pay her taxes (i didn’t know what taxes meant, i just assumed they were the reason we couldn’t afford nice things). 

my safe haven was always my grandparents’ house, which was clean and had semi-healthy food and the door was always open. my grandpa was a high school chemistry teacher. my grandma worked at a bank. growing up, i had no idea what she did at the bank, just that it sponsored all the fun things we did, like going to amusement parks and baseball games. my parents never took my sister and i on vacation, but every year, my grandma would drive us to visit our family in missouri, which, even though it only cost the gas to get there, seemed like a wild indulgence to me.

i started working at 16 so i could have my own money. by 17 i was working illegally full-time and getting paid under the table. then i bought my own car, and shortly after i turned 18 i got my own apartment. even though i could pay my bills, i was still terrified about money. i thought about it all the time. i checked my bank account multiple times a day. i was a cashier at a restaurant and i would often open my drawer and just stare at the money or count it when i was bored.

but i hated working at the restaurant, and one day i thought to myself, how can i keep the money part of this job but lose the food part? then i remembered my grandma’s career at the bank (from which by then she’d retired), and that afternoon i sat down and applied to be a teller at the very same bank. obviously the bank was very large and it wasn’t like my grandma was in management. she worked in ATM operations. nobody on my hiring committee knew who she was, and honestly i have no idea how i got the job.

i stayed a teller through college, working 25ish hours a week. it didn’t pay very well and i was still nervous about money, so i picked up a job altering bridal gowns on evenings and weekends, and also an admin job at my university. so i was working 60ish hours a week, plus going to school full-time and trying to keep up my 4.0. in retrospect, i can’t remember how necessary all this was. i know i was living in an apartment whose rent was higher than i could afford, and i lived with my boyfriend who was struggling to find a job. anyway, it was definitely the lowest time of my life, and i was so exhausted that every day i hoped something horrible would happen to me so i could be hospitalized and rest. 

then something horrible did happen. my dad died. and even though everyone in my life was telling me to please dear god take a break, i did not. 

i got promoted to business finance, which paid what seemed at the time to be an ungodly amount of money. i was still part-time and finishing up my undergrad degree. once i graduated, i got promoted to full-time. for the first couple years, i really did try to be a banker. i was good at my job only insofar as someone who is left-handed can write with their right hand if forced for long enough. it felt very much like i was in the wrong place, but by that point i had so much unchecked trauma that i had convinced myself the highest human ideal was misery and deprivation. i wish i was kidding. i was the definition of ascetic and martyred myself. i didn’t believe happiness existed. work was all that mattered to me.

then i bought a house. so at this point, i had student loans, a car loan, a mortgage, and credit card debt. after my dad’s death, my mom had to file for bankruptcy because of all the medical bills. she abandoned her house. by this point i was 23, single, in six figures of debt with no familial support net, but i was making decent money at the bank, so it wasn’t like i was drowning. in fact i was doing pretty well. the bank was a rock in my very turbulent life. i got a lot of vacation time that allowed me to travel a bit. i had insurance and a matching 401(k). it was really a decent job.

but the bank was also in many ways an abusive relationship. i don’t mean that metaphorically. i had bosses who manipulated me, insulted me, humiliated me in front of other people. i had one boss who went so far as to look at my checking account and ridicule my purchases. i didn’t have any idea what it meant to stand up for myself or say no. in fact i wasn’t allowed to say no. my job at the bank involved solving other people’s problems. i could never say “i can’t solve that problem.” i could only say “i’ll figure it out.”

i had convinced myself working at the bank was a stable career because it was boring and i hated it. but actually it wasn’t stable at all. after 2008, there were mass layoffs and restructures every year while the bank tried to recover from the recession. i worked for a sales team, and so my job was dependent entirely on whether or not the salespeople did their jobs well. if they didn’t make goal, they’d get fired. if they got fired, i’d get fired. 

i started trying to date again and was sexually assaulted. after that i really struggled at work because i was dissociating a lot and couldn’t focus. my team, despite my having worked there for years, instead of being concerned for me decided to start complaining about me to my boss. finally i had to tell a coworker what happened and that i wasn’t doing very well. my team started being a little nicer to me but ultimately they didn’t care about me, they cared about how effective i was at my job. my boss didn’t want to fire me, so instead i was pushed onto another team.

that move came with a raise. then that team was dismantled and i was pushed onto another team. that was a demotion, but i got to keep my raise from the previous move. by then, i was working from home, and even though i was more comfortable i was also very isolated and miserable. my “fulfillment through deprivation” attitude was destroying me. i wasn’t eating well or taking care of myself. i was isolated and lonely. i still didn’t believe happiness was real and i constantly thought about killing myself. 

but i had started writing fanfiction, and even though i didn’t think i was any good at it, i was beginning to see a way out. i was beginning to learn how to dream, and want things, and give myself the things i wanted. i just couldn’t imagine leaving the bank, or selling my house, or moving out of my hometown. all of that seemed impossible to me.

then i had to go to a business conference where my team had a retirement party for one of my coworkers. she’d done what i was doing for 45 years. by that point i was at the 9 year mark. i’d spent my entire adult life at the bank. and i realized: the bank benefited from my fear and passivity, and nothing in my life was going to change unless i was willing to make sacrifices. 

but i still wasn’t entirely convinced. and then came the day i had to physically hold onto my desk to keep me from killing myself. i didn’t end up trying it, because i had another realization: this was a life or death situation now. if i kept working at the bank, i knew i would die. i knew eventually i would get low enough to do it. i didn’t actually want to die; i wanted an escape and didn’t know what else to do. suddenly i was off the hook. my options were not “financial stability or imminent poverty” but “live or die.” 

those were the big epiphanies i had, but the process of actually leaving the bank was a slow one. i wrote a bit about it here. i got into an MFA program basically by telling myself repeatedly i would figure out the money stuff later. when it came time to quit the bank, my boss convinced me to stay on working part-time, with the assumption i would move back to full-time once i’d graduated. i agreed to it, because just trying to quit was enough to convince me i could, and that better things were ahead of me. for a year and a half, i stayed on working two days a week while doing my MFA, which involved both coursework and teaching, and it felt a bit like it did during undergrad, having too many jobs and no time to breathe or think or feel anything.

between my first and second year, i had a looooong overdue mental breakdown. there were a lot of causes, but one of them was spreading myself too thin. shortly after, i quit for good. by then it didn’t feel like a big deal at all, i was so far removed from the work and my team and so focused on my degree. one day i turned on my work laptop and the next day i didn’t. i shipped it back to HQ and it was over.

then i graduated from the MFA and suddenly had to face the consequences of this life i’d chosen. my school kept me on as an adjunct, but it felt like being a ghost. i no longer had the community of my cohort. i had no health insurance. i was given my teaching schedule and a contract to sign, that’s it. there was no guarantee i would be getting classes the following semester, and after a year, that was what happened. i remember sitting in my favorite coffee shop trying not to cry when i got the email that said the department had nothing for me to teach the following semester.

i really wasn’t the same after the breakdown. i went from “i can do anything i put my mind to no matter how hard it is or how much it hurts” to “i have to step carefully, and treat myself gently.” i hadn’t fully realized that yet, though, so i tried to get a Real Job. i got the first and only job i applied to, because i am bad at nearly everything but somehow i’m exceptional in interviews. it wasn’t a bank but it offered the same sort of benefits package. it was a full-time salaried position at a non-profit. if i had found it earlier, i think it would have been my dream job. it was the kind of work you throw yourself into because you care so much about doing good. 

i lasted a month. during the first week something happened that triggered me in a way i’m very rarely triggered. i realized i needed disability accommodations, but i needed to go to a doctor to get an assessment and i had to be on the team 60 days in order to get insurance. i thought i could white-knuckle it, and i could, sort of, but every minute i was at work, it felt like i was forced away from the thing i should have been doing. i was constantly trying to write a few paragraphs here and there on my phone when no one was looking. i had to find excuses to take breaks and go to my car and breathe. at one point i told a volunteer i was an english instructor, and she looked at me very confused, and i realized i’d said it in present tense, like it was part of who i was and not a job i did for a while. then finally, my breaking point was an after-hours function. when i left i saw a field full of fireflies and thought about how, if i’d just stayed home, i could have sat outside and enjoyed them all evening, not just a glance at them on the way to my car. i liked the job but it was making me miss all the things i’d learned to love about being alive.

i quit the next day. i’d sold my house by then (which was its own feat) and moved in with my grandma, which hadn’t been a possibility until my grandpa passed away the previous spring. i paid off my car. i figured out finally that i would probably never be able to work full-time again unless it was teaching, and that the downside to this life would be accepting fear and instability, only being able to look ahead one semester at a time. staying open to the opportunities that arise. being a little selfish. 

i wrote a bit more about the financial realities of the writing life here. i can’t tell you what you should do, because the path i took definitely isn’t the path for everyone, but i do believe we all owe it to ourselves to pursue our best and happiest lives, because we only get one, and there’s no reason not to live it the way you want to. 

#writing advice #the writing life #Anonymous