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#but this made me tear up harddd
kurikive · 1 year
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ditto thoughts!!
guys theres just something abt ditto....... I SERIOUSLY END UP CRYING EVERYTIME I WATCH THE MV LIKE ITS RIDICULOUS HOW HARD I SOB
idk if its the mv or the song or the theories or what ever but i just end up with tears in my eyes LIKE ITS BADDD
the song is so good in a way that it's scary,, HANNI'S woohoowoohoo~ sounds almost haunting and i just cant help but imagine if i was ban heesoo and i was in that forest and heard that voice in the distance id be like yea these r my last moments theyre not gonna find my body lol LIKE OH. MY. GOD.
i fucking love all the theories especially the one where heesoo represents the fans and newjeans being not actually is like a mirror to parasocial relationships??? like the comfort idols bring that it makes you feel closer to them almost in a way it makes u think ur their friend but theyre not actually physically there for you,, REWATCHING THE MV AFTER READING THAT MADE ME SOB SO HARDDD
also i read that the deer or like the meaning of having a deer cross ur way represents that its time to check if youre living in the past, as if you cant move on from your memories AND LIKE......WHAT IF NWJNS ARE DEAD AND AND AND-
it could mean a lot of things tbh,, i was also thinking abt the guy (choi hyunwook's character) and the way him and heesoo walked away in the end together,, like he was the only person we see interact with heesoo apart from newjeans but they're not real or wtv and they walked together after the scene where the deer walked away from heesoo so i think maybe that represents how she's leaving the comfort that the idols give her and is choosing to be comforted by an actual person in her life thats real and not a parasocial relationship,, i could be wrong
ALSO I read from a ktokki's theory on twt that when the girls were drawing the girl on the blackboard it could be heesoo (who represents fans) but since the drawing is a little different from what heesoo looks like it could mean its like them saying "we also imagine what you look like, we also think of you even when we dont know you physically or personally" and i just thought it was a cute theory
im probably ranting sooo much and im not even finished thats whats worse,, i saw from a twt post again from a ktokki that in some of the concept pics, hanni is the odd one out,, like in some pictures shes the only one thats looking directly at the camera and in others shes the only one not looking at it. theres also some other ones where her face is covered completely and/or her back is facing the camera (even when the others are turned around too, some parts of their faces can be seen but hanni's face us just... not there???)
ie.
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i have absolutely no idea what this means maybe we'll find out in OMG or the next comeback but its super freaky like some pics were honestly horror movie worthy and some mv scenes too!!!! and i actually really love that!!! like i enjoy so much when a music video looks normal on the surface but theres something so eerie abt it and its creeping me out like when i get the feeling something abt this is wrong and i wanna know what it is
anyways,, as you can see i REALLY enjoyed this comeback and i am super hyped for OMG i seriously cant waittt,, sorry for ranting so much and id love to hear your thoughts on the mv too if you'd like to reblog or leave a comment!! also tell me if youd like to see me do things like these for other songs or groups maybe i can open up more with my thoughts on here since i dont post a lot ^^ thanks for staying and reading
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pinkseas · 10 months
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GOOD EVENING NIGHTY TO U ALYYY I HOPE YOU'LL HAVE A NICE SLEEP SOON or now as i type this immediately after. ur answer because i am in the Mood like YEEHAW anyway FIRST OF ALL SIRMA'AMMX SHANNON i hope u have the bestest day too like that is both Embarrassing and an honest surprise theres someone else reading our convos at all and i did,... stumble on this one comment someone wants to read more of my xiao deadge brainrot weve been throwing back and forth that u replied (more like me crying u crying back i wipe ur tears still crying cus its all from me my fault i did this to myself) and im like SHYYY but its all out in the open on tumblr anyway so we just. yeah. YeaghHFHEHDKDJFHDHHFHDJDJFH dies in a corner cutely PATCHES THE ONLY EVER that we can trust in the most honest answers regarding blake rwby and xiao genshimpact her words only that we hold like the bible amen 🙏
"i have sm respect for it esp as like a genuine coping mechanism and i cant really speak on fics for it but the thought of xiao specifically as a character regressing is so ??? i get it in Theory but in Practice." NO BUT I GET YOU i think the interpretation can still. maybe. be put into a good way though I Cant Really See It but if whoever does esp the fics then u cant rlly debate their reason its like any other screwed up hc ppl do so yknow!! "sometimes u just gotta write fics where you baby the fave and i look away from those in general out of personal preference but i am especially looking away from ones where its xiao" with all u wrote after like i can see the point of Babying Xiao but not him going actual baby and das not good at all,... cus all i do think abt esp if zhongli treats him is those two fics i told u that gets me so hard of the old man's willingness to care for him and how hes so gentle and patient and akfkfjshhxhshdh like THAT is the type of babying but not babying i can get by like YKWIM
"there's a difference between treating someone gently knowing their strength and capability and choosing to be soft regardless in a good, respectful way, VS flat out ignoring that persons capability and strength and treating them like glass and truly believing that they could shatter at any moment if thought of any differently." im gonna be fr i did use the second option but OFC ZHONGLI DOESNT IGNORE its the fact he Knows xiao can still be,... so fragile. like (skids back like im wearing socks sliding on marble floor) ur fic where lumine holds him like shes holding the world and he cries and cries and she holds him regardless,... that type of fragility. i dont know if you rmb me talking this but i mentioned abt some other brainrot abt xiao trying to move on after the events of the chasm and how the crew And lumine And zhongli play a part of it but i didnt say that while everyone has at least a piece of their worldview given to him abt grief and loss its ultimately abt xiao and zhongli going through their conflict of each other way back since rex lapis' death,... and in the end when they resolve it, xiao had been so. so fragile. like everything reaches his breaking point and he breaks. he misses the past he misses devoting his only purpose to rex lapis whos not rex lapis anymore he misses bosacius he misses his siblings he misses the adepti he couldnt even mourn properly. and zhongli lets him mourn. and its that moment where he cries it rlly shows how small he is to the world yknow. THAT kind of guilt of acting like a child but for a person like xiao that he genuinely doesnt realize nor have the power to stop it. (and all ur comments after it jsut hits so HARDDD SO REALL)
"I JUYST WROTE LIKE A WHOLE PARAGRAPH but it was super fucking rambly in a way that made NO sense whatsoever so it is gone now goodbye </3" NO WAY…. NAUR WAY U CANT JUSR DO THAT I WANNA SEE UR WORD VOMIT TO MY WORD VOMIT TOO u said it urself sumtimes u cant get entirely what im saying I GOTTA BE CONFUSED TOO SUMTIMES EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE shakes u like a piggy bank (and like yknow every single i wrote here is unfiltered. like. i just leave in all my nonsensical rambles cus fuck it its not like i can come back to it and it perfectly encapsulates how Not Sane i am in my thoghts and i must Let you Know)
i do not have the words or thoght to respond on the xiaolumi xiao and lumine one bc everythings there already ITS ALL THERE SO BASED SO REAL so. i cant say theyre perfect for each other for the exact reason i see flaw that theyre not. i think. pettiness flowing through me that i personally see their development slow that i dont vibe with others' praises abt how glorious they are as a couple but not in how i see it KFHSHFHEHFJJEJFJ "made for each other" "their souls are fated to be together" can be so Eck to me its funny that it sounds like i hate xlmi too when i can go 30k words on it WAHAHKDJHSH am thinkinf abt ur latest post instead when the two are brought up bc my brain goes fast melts fast like putty i cannot Bother going back sumtimes but i Will Try
"idk how they put up with me fr" NO BUT. NO i also cant believe how you put up with me especially with that many paragraphs and over explaining and extremely specific views of xiao and lumine and zhongli and everyone else i drag in bc i do doubt if i am being so nitpicky abt it when i mention the gnsn commu's common views on it KFHSHFHHSHFH like, being around the community in twt or at least trying to be at the sidelines can be so. draining. that u see sm stuff that contradicts how u think and it makes u a little irritated if not scared u feel like ur the only one with this thought u feel left out. so like. its kinda ironic i found who can get me outside of twt HAJFKSJFJ
"it takes xiao and lumine a long time to develop a very close friendship" has been important to me for a long time since i knew their potential, and ive been doing this even before them like 😭😭😭😭 exploring love in a way that it isnt romantic love. that it doesnt have to be them kissing to make them official, that their close friendship is that fruitful result they grew which makes it personally hard to me that them being a couple and doing sims woohoo feels like its lost entirely for that "new stage in life". and i do take them realistically i do try my hardest to make them make even a little sense bc i want them to be as human as they are, although they were never human in the first place. not just exploring abt live but exploring abt how humanity works in teyvat,... about how to live,... and that matters sm to me ughghhdh post-teyvat where they do kinda maybe be 'official', but thats after all the hardship all the misunderstandings they went during teyvat. during conflict. and once everythings peaceful do they try to let go and make their bond simply work and THATS SO IMPORTANT TO MEEEE
though dont take my pov too heavily bc i did have my moot who knows abt my xlmi views and how i speak them so delicately and aggressively (gentle) passionate that theyre even cautious abt speaking their ideas to me i felt legit bad 💔💔 like SURE THEYRE SUPER IMPORTANT TO ME i would fight anyone who wants to rebuke my ideals but not those who just wants to be around and share the sillies with me like AUGH I HOPE THAT THIS IS EVEN A LITTLE BIT COHERENT TO U SKSKHFJSHFHD 
"me sitting here like a small child drawing them as stick figures holding hands and smiling “and then they were BEST friends <3” I MEAN WITH ALL THE SHT I SAID I DO THIS TOO FR sumtiems u get super analytic like a scientist lookijg thru their science thingamajigs to cure cancer sumtimes you go goofy ahh my blorbos i think theyre very neat tgt and we're so real for that <33333
GOOD MORNING BESTIEEEEEEEE <3333333
"(more like me crying u crying back i wipe ur tears still crying cus its all from me my fault i did this to myself)" NO BC THIS IS SO REAL LITERALLY
"PATCHES THE ONLY EVER that we can trust in the most honest answers regarding blake rwby and xiao genshimpact her words only that we hold like the bible amen 🙏" patches says xiao genshin impact is the only man ever and honestly i agree
"like THAT is the type of babying but not babying i can get by like YKWIM" I KNOW WHAT U MEAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"im gonna be fr i did use the second option but" NO BC LIKE i didnt word that right i know what u mean and like. idk. u dont do it in a bed or weird or disrespectful way yknow ???? you do it Right you do it so fawking well it makes me so insane and for what
"and in the end when they resolve it, xiao had been so. so fragile. like everything reaches his breaking point and he breaks. he misses the past he misses devoting his only purpose to rex lapis whos not rex lapis anymore he misses bosacius he misses his siblings he misses the adepti he couldnt even mourn properly. and zhongli lets him mourn. and its that moment where he cries it rlly shows how small he is to the world yknow" o(-( crying shaking bawling sobbing GODDDDDDD i see it. i see the vision i get it i Understand dear fucking LORD im so. explodes. learning to live for yourself missing the simplicity of the past missing those youve lost it is all So Fucking Hard and for what !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"shakes u like a piggy bank" DORRYYYYYYYYYY next time that happens i wll just keep the paragraph i pinkie prommy <333333 just for u bestie anything for u bestie
""made for each other" "their souls are fated to be together" can be so Eck to me" BIGGEST HANDSHAKE EMOJI EVER its so weird like sometimes in writing specifically i really love it but its one of those like. i appreciate it when its Not Real but if it were ever real or if ppl ever truly believed that other ppl or any charactesr were 'made for each other' or 'fated' i would expldoea nd die /neg ITS SO WEIRD i cant Properly describe how i love it a lot in specific ways but then hate it so bad in other ways its soooo. man
"i also cant believe how you put up with me especially with that many paragraphs and over explaining and extremely specific views of xiao and lumine and zhongli and everyone else i drag in" are u kidding me ur paragraphsg and explaining are the Best Things Ever In The Whole Entire Universe i adore and cherish it every single time without fail. something something not "putting up with" or "dealing with" just love just care <- doesnt know how words work or how to describe things
everything abt the way u talk abt xiaolumi is so. pleading face emoji x1000000000 im just. smdnfmsdngnfdkg GOD
"like SURE THEYRE SUPER IMPORTANT TO ME i would fight anyone who wants to rebuke my ideals but not those who just wants to be around and share the sillies with me like AUGH I HOPE THAT THIS IS EVEN A LITTLE BIT COHERENT TO U" no i know exactly what you mean dw !!!!!!! and its weird for me specifically/personally bc like. on one hand im still working on The Thing where if Someone I Care About has an opinion thats different from mine my instinct is "oh, my opinion is Wrong and theirs is Right" and that used to be SAURRRRR bad and there's a little bit of influence still BUT!!!! character growth character development i am so much better at keeping my own thoughts and hcs now and not twisting and changing them the split second someone says otherwise...... like the past few months especially ive gotten SO good at it its unreal i feel like an actual person now. and like i fully understand the fear of "oh no what if i make them feel like they cant talk about THEIR thoughts" but w/ us specifically too its like. i love hearing about your thoughts So Fucking Much whther theyre super similar or super different from my own, and partially bc of that i am 100% ok with sharing my own thoughts even if i feel like they're silly or know they'll be different from yours. idk if you were like a Stranger stranger (which is so funny to say all things considered) id probably be all polite but in the bad way where i listened and then agreed and didnt give my own thoughts but its YOU so i give all of my own thoughts i give every thought ive ever had and i feel totally comfortable doing so <- word vomit paragraph bc im delirious but im also too delirious to reword it into somethign more coherent dorry </333
"sumtiems u get super analytic like a scientist lookijg thru their science thingamajigs to cure cancer sumtimes you go goofy ahh my blorbos i think theyre very neat tgt and we're so real for that <33333" REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL we literally are so real for that. man. i love that for us sm <333
ANYWAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS i hope u have been doing well i hope ur day today goes amazingly i hope u get some good rest tonight or maybe during the day idk i hope school stuff is going well and finally if anything goes wrong or bad i am beating it up with my tiny baby fists peace and love goodnight <3
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onzeziggy · 3 years
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that’s just proof that getting in a relationship and falling in love can make you glow so harddd and i’m happy robbe has been feeling like that for more than a year by now 🥰☀️ i can imagine sander always playing with his hair
anon you made me straight up tear up with this message I-..... Robbe really is so lucky that he has found his soulmate and i still cry every day about the fact how perfect these two boys are for each other and happy they make each other as well. he truly is living his best life for almost 19 months now and it's what he deserves. and about the playing with his hair...... I AM SO WEAK FOR THAT AND I STILL NEED TO SEE IT AHHHH! let's head canon together that sander picked up robbe from school today and this time they were the tortelduifjes :')
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weebnxss · 3 years
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Karasuno Headcanons!!
Okay I see these all the time and they’re too precious so I made some of my own, I hope you like them!! (Characters included: Sugawara, Kageyama, and Tsukki) If you’re going to use these I would appreciate if you credited me!!
Sugawara 
-Would DEFINITELY make flower crowns from the plants at the school garden to give to you. He loves the pure happiness written all over your face when you receive them.
-Seems like the type to spoil you. He would do anything to make you happy
-He has a huge smile on his face when you run your hand through his hair.
-Would comfort you whenever you were down-- you could be crying one moment and laughing the next.
-If you broke up, I can imagine him singing along to Mr Loverman with tears falling down his cheeks. (MY FRIEND GAVE ME THIS ONE AND IT HITS SO HARDDD)
Kageyama
-He thinks about you all the time during games but is too shy to admit it
-When you first started dating, he was awkward and clueless, but once he got used to being around you he started giving you soft and quick but passionate forehead kisses.
-He gets so passionate when he talks about you around other people, but when they call him out for it he gets stiff and immediately stops, saying, “No, I don’t like her!!”
-He gets awkward because if he makes a wrong move he might lose you, and seeing you with another guy would make him so sad.
-He tries new things to impress you, but just ends up embarrassing himself.
-Secretly, he loves listening to you sing
Tsukki
-He loves you so, so much but even he himself doesn’t realize it because he’s clueless when it comes to romance
-He teases you a lot, but only out of love. He laughs at your angry expressions and lays his hand on the top of your head.
-When he catches someone flirting with you, he gets furious, pushes you away from them, and grabs them by the collar, telling them never to flirt with you again.
-He’s always happy to get a text from you, and chuckles slightly at your dramatic texts, like, “Homework is so annoying I’m going to explode save me”
If you guys have any requests please tell me!!
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chatoyism · 6 years
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Friday Night || Young K One Shot
→ Summary: You and Younghyun have been childhood friends ever since you two were in diapers so you knew each other pretty well. However, there were some things that you didn’t know about each other and he was about to let it all out after five glasses of alcohol. 
→ Genre: Romance, Fluff
→ Member: Kang Younghyun (Brian)
→ Words: 2.1k
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A/N: I got into Day6 just recently, and even though they debuted last year, I really did wish I could’ve noticed them earlier. They are one of the best groups in K-Pop and for one good reason and it is because they all are special and unique in their own way. They are indeed, magical humans beings sent from above!
It was Friday night, the dark sky was high above the clouds and the street lamps were turned on, barely any cars drove past your house as you casually sat in your living room, bored as any lazy person would ever be. Your arm dangled over the side of the couch, your body laid across the cushions as all you did was stare at the TV screen that was displaying a drama.
You were bored, that was all you knew. Friday nights were always the times where you stayed up till early in the morning the next day or binge eat popcorn and pizzas while watching a sad movie which wasn’t a good combination. The food would always get soggy in the end from your tears but it didn’t matter.
It was Friday, who cares.
You were on the verge of falling asleep, about to fall off the couch any minute because you weren’t paying attention until your phone vibrated loudly on the coffee table, making you tumble off the edge in shock and surprise. Someone was calling you so you quickly got up, trying to fix yourself and fumbled around holding your phone before clicking the answer button and listened to the waiting signal before a voice was heard on the other line.
It was Wonpil, sounding distraught and disappointed in some way.
“Wonpil?” You answered, trying to handle yourself.
“Y/N, we need you at the studio. We have a delivery for you and it’s for free.” Wonpil’s voice sounded from the other end. “The dropping off is not part of the service so you need to pick it up over here.”
“I didn’t order a package, what are you talking about?”
“You don’t have time, it’s a bit drowsy at the moment so it needs to be handled quickly. Come over before it get’s out of contro—”
Before Wonpil could finish his sentence, you noticed another voice coming in from the background, a deep but sexy sound a little softer than normal, most likely from the distance of the phone and the voice as footsteps stumbled closer to Wonpil.
“Wonpiiilllll~ Our cute and adorable pianistttt~ You know, I think you need a new keyboard, you keep pushing it too harddd till it knocks downnn like booom~ So that’s why I got you a laptop because it has a better keyboarrdd! Get it? Keyboard? Hehe I’m funny~”
Despite the silence in your house, you knew where the sound was coming from and you did not whatsoever want to handle him on your way to collecting this “package” of yours. It was almost as if you were already in the studio witnessing the act right in front of you. You already knew where this was heading.
“I know what you’re thinking of Y/N,” Wonpil said after a few seconds of you not responding to him.
“And yes. He is your package.”
Before you could say anything else, you were frozen on the spot when Wonpil hung up on you suddenly, leaving you all by yourself and a very drunk package to collect when you arrive.
“Why do I even have these guys as friends.”
Your car headlights lit up the road in front of you, hands gripping the wheel tightly while your attention was focused straight at the sight in front of you, an entrance to a studio just a few meters down the road. You bit your lip nervously, imagining the situation right now that was occurring at the place, imagining everything completely trashed, covered in confetti and silly string while the musical instruments laid everywhere, scattered on the floor.
Yeah, those were caused by one person.
You couldn’t dream any longer before finding yourself in front of the studio already, just parked on the side curb with a stern figure standing by your car window. He knocked a few times, making you roll it down before looking at his face, smiling innocently.
“You are such a monster Y/N.” Wonpil glared at you with crossed arms, making you chuckle guiltily.
“I was late, I guess?” You replied, looking at him back in the eye whilst rubbing your neck.
“You put us in such a difficult situation, seriously.” He debated. “Like, I can’t even handle him when he’s not drunk, isn’t that stupid? Not really, because he’s the stupid one! Not us!”
“Okay, fine. I want my package. Bring him to me before I go and leave him here with you guys.” You joked, making Wonpil widened his eyes in shock.
“Oh hell no!”
He quickly left, heading back into the studio as you got out of your car and closed the door behind you with a sigh, leaning against the metal whilst scrolling through your phone waiting for the “package”.
It took him awhile, noises echoing through the building, loud enough for you to hear and possibly neighbours down the road before all five figures of your friends leapt out of the darkness, one of them tumbling and falling repeatedly along the way.
“Eww, he stinks like trash…” Jae complained in English, obviously trying not to touch the trembling figure as he pushed him out the door and towards your direction where you watched in utter shock.
It was Younghyun, your best friend since childhood struggling to stand up straight and trying to keep his posture which only resulted in a more disfigured pose. He rolled and tumbled from side to side, hiccuping every once in awhile whilst still maintain an unusual smile.
That was Younghyun indeed.
“Heyyyy Y/N!” Younghyun called to you in a very drunken voice. He toppled to the side slightly as he took careful steps to you one at a time, keeping his bright but distorted smile on his face at the sight of you in front of him.
He walked over to you who was judging him deep inside your head, watching as he stumbled closer to you, your face inches away from him while his breath reeked of alcohol. He kept his balance by placing his hands beside your figure against the car.
“What have you been doing, Brian?” You said to him sternly, trying to move away from him, which only made him move closer.
“Oooooh guys, did you heaaar that? Y/N just called meee Brian! That’s a first!” He laughed crazily, turning to the other members. “I’m so angrrry at her nowww.”
You leaned to the side past his head, watching as the other four stared from afar, way too far as their expressions were empty and sad that you had to deal with him.
“He’s all yours now Y/N!” Sungjin called loudly before everyone walked back into the studio, leaving just you and Younghyun alone under the light of the street lamp.
You couldn’t stand him any longer. You were quick to act when he was about to lean in very close to your face and peck a smooch on your cheeks, making you squirm and let out a small cry in disgust.
“Eww, eww, eww, eww.” You mumbled repeatedly, opening the door to the passenger seat beside the driver’s side and shoved him in quickly while he hiccuped with a laugh. You didn’t dare to touch him any further after his breath was stinking up the whole place around you, making you run around the car and get inside, turning the ignition.
“You are such a foul animal Younghyun, a foul animal I say.” You mumbled under your breath before driving off with a drunk Brian pretending to be a bird.
He managed to get out of the car on his own after you pulled it to the side just in front of your house where the lights were still turned on. He fumbled out into the open night sky immediately after taking one step, face planting onto the concrete with a light sound, making you pull out your keys and quickly aiding him with your assistance and checking to see if he was alright. You picked him up and held his arm over your shoulder, dragging him all the way to your front door, sticking your keys in and opening the door to the smell of home sweet home.
You dropped him on your couch, watching as he groggily mumbled out words and hiccuped, smiling straight afterwards making you slightly confused and scared at the same time. You headed to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, returning to Younghyun and forcing him to drink it.
“Drink Younghyun, drink.” You begged and gazed silently as he did as you told him, engulfing the entire glass of liquid before burping loudly. “Gross.”
Running back to the kitchen, you grabbed the nearest clean cloth to you and soaked it in cold water, letting it seep in and bringing a bigger bucket with cold water in it to rinse off the sweat that was dripping down his body from head to toe. He was very dirty, drenched in leftover alcohol and some wine stains, sweat covering his white t-shirt and blue jeans while he had some vomit left on the corner of his mouth.
You returned beside him, immediately placing the soaked cloth over his forehead making him relax a little, a loud sigh escaping past his lips as you brushed the nasty stuff of his lips.
You were caring for him quietly when he started talking out of nowhere.
“You know that Y/N girl?” He began, making you raise an eyebrow in confusion, questioning what he was saying. You were intrigued before realising that he was drunk and had short term memory. You stayed quiet and nodded.
“Really? You know Y/N?” He said once more, to which you responded with yet another nod accompanied with a grin.
“She’s so quiet all the time, I barely see her.” You were shocked.
“She’s always so quiet with me, she never speaks to me like she hates me or something. I don’t get it. What did I do wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong Younghy—” You started talking before he interrupted.
“Is it because I like her so much? Is it because my heart always goes bu-bum-bu-bum when I’m around her?” He explained, sitting up with the cloth slipping off his forehead and onto his lap, reenacting the heart beating in his chest to the sound.
“It’s like fireworks exploding in my chest, like Pew! Pew! Pew! They are big, like my heart for her! I can’t control it!”
“I don’t like her, I don’t even know, I think I love her. She’s so beautiful but she never says anything. Maybe she hates me. She’s just so…”
“Magical.”
You were completely silent the whole time your best friend explained an entire story to you, unconsciously explaining his love life and his affection for you that you didn’t even know. It had been almost 15 years since you two had been together, almost as little kids and Younghyun never got the chance to explain to you about who he liked.
After all those years of you talking to yourself about your obsession about him to bed, the times you texted or called him multiple times in a row or the fact his smile was contagious, it made you happy to know that he felt the same way. The feelings were mutual.
He liked you for all those years, and it took him 15 years to finally confess; in a way that wasn’t even planned. 
“I wish she could notice me more. Notice me senpaaaaaiiii~” He cried out in a girly voice, making you laugh before he laid back on the couch, closing his eyes slowly and drifting off into a deep sleep, his light snores echoing across the house.
You smiled at your friend, his cute posture as he slept with the wet cloth still on his head. He was your best friend, but you couldn’t wait to tell him all about this moment tomorrow morning, hoping to confess to him at the same time.
“I love you so much Younghyun.” You smiled, kissing his lips softly before heading upstairs to your bedroom to take a shower.
He smiled to himself as he felt the tingle of your lips on his.
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trulisthetic · 6 years
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Note to Self (to read when I’m down)
So, which is it gonna be, self? Ugh, damn it, I always love the episodes and all this negativity online ruins them for me 😅😅😅 Gotta work on being so easily affected!
Anyhow, now that this half season has officially ended, I decided to white this ‘little’ positive note to myself to cheer me up. If you want to read it too, you’re more than welcome!
Warning: This is just what I would personally want somebody that could read my mind to tell me, you might not agree with some things I say and that’s totally fine. Peace.
Okay, self.
So you cope with the Jaggie situation just fine on normal days, that’s a fact right? You absolutely hate it, of course you do. Who ruins Japril for a couple with zero chemistry who popped up out of nowhere? Who turns Maggie into a black version of April simply so she can match Jackson when she was such a strong, brilliant character before? Of course you cannon believe this is actually happening to you favorite couple, the ones who helped you pull through your favorite person’s passing last year, your big exams, your parents’ stupid fights. They were your home, and now they’re getting ruined and you are incredibly mad and sad and devastated over that. But they still remain your OTP, they are still very much alive in your heart and your mind in the fanfiction world, and sometimes that’s just enough for you. Sometimes it’s not, and you wish with all that you have in you that this is just a phase and they will eventually fall back together after they take some time to miss and appreciate each other. But in general, you are copying. You have accepted that Jaggie is happening. You wish it would just happen already and yet you get goosebumps at the single thought of them kissing, but you have learned to live with it.
So why is it that you get depressed every Friday?
You watch the episodes. And the awesome thing is that even though last year you were so boooooooored because there were almost no Japril scenes and the show without them was just MEH, this year you find yourself squealing in excitement at the single sight of the Seattle shots at the beginning. Does that mean you are falling back in love with Grey’s Anatomy as a whole? Probably. It’s taken a 180 degree turn from last year to your eyes, and it’s somehow exciting again. You’re not just watching for Japril anymore, admit it. Because there is not Japril, and still here you are. You laugh out loud with the new interns, you live for those hilarious lines of Bailey’s, you really loved what they did with the Nathan/Megan storyline and you actually teared up at that last scene with the beach and the sunset. You come to like Meredith again -remember those times she was your favorite character back in the early seasons and you only breathed for MerDer? It’s a nostalgic feeling that comes over you when you think about how different your life was back then when you began watching. But back to the point, the show is so interesting to you again and that thrills you to no end. You had to pause the episode for five whole minutes to calm your breathing when Jo’s husband popped up a mere hour ago! You freaking love season 14 girl. Stop denying because you’re probably the only one. And don’t feel guilty for it, for god’s sake.
Then again, you get what everyone has been saying about April not having a stoyline, which is really sad come think of it. And Sarah Drew is such a precious human and such an incredible actress and she is REAL and she deserves better than to play a side-character. Yet she seems pretty happy at all those selfies and it looks like she’s having a blast with Kelly, but for sure that might as well be just for show. You don’t know what’s going on behind the camera’s, only they do. What you know, however, is that she clearly loves acting and feels blessed for being on Grey’s Anatomy, so who are you to decide if she should move on or not? She is a strong woman, more than perfectly capable to make that decision for herself, and you know that she could book herself a hundred movies in a split second with that talent and dedication of hers. If she feels like she is being wasted, wouldn’t she pack her things and go? And yet there she goes in every opportunity given, expressing how grateful she is for being part of something as big as Grey’s, how she loves the show and the people she works with and how she feels so lucky that she is able to provide for her family doing something that she loves. Why would she fake that, Truli? Of all the interview for the 300th, how many actors showed such genuine gratitude? She is happy working on Grey’s. And that secretly gives you such relief it almost hurts, because it means April is here to stay, and you couldn’t be happier about that.
Still, would you want April to have more scenes? DAMN RIGHT YOU WOULD. You miss your girl so much, you miss her being in things, having a story of her own. But then again that’s how you feel every season. No matter how much screen time she gets, it’s obviously never enough cause you only get one episode a week and barely two minutes of April! However, the truth is that the few scenes she has gotten so far this season you have found brilliant. Starting at the only Japril scene of the season, you were amazed by how much she has truly grown, how well she handled the situation with maturity and openness and honesty. You are so proud of your girl. And then she has been interacting with so many people this season, including Owen and Arizona and Alex and Meredith and Maggie and Bailey and Richard and Amelia and the interns and that just makes you so happy because for so long she seemed like she had no people to turn to, while now she has a whole village. And that cafeteria scene at the Amelia/tumor episode was you undoing, just like good old times! Then when she was shot -Holy crap! She had dodged it for eight seasons! :P And when she prayed for Amelia even though they weren’t that close, and then thanked God, with her baby girl in her arms. Ugh, the feels! So April <3 And then that flash-mob mention... how she stammered “that’s not the point” was just plain B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T. Oh, and this last episode you know she got all the good stuff. That “awkwaaaard” line was so well delivered you were laughing for an hour, and the “Stone age” and newspaper parts just killed you. And despite many, you loved how she took a couple of episodes to adjust to the new normal back when she first moved out, to find her way again, to be a bit sad. It was so April. And for fuck’s sake, being emotional doesn’t make you weak. On the contrary, it makes you freaking human. Being able to experience emotions strongly is not a flaw, it’s a gift. It shows mental maturity, and if anything overcoming stuff is making the person go through an entire emotional roller coaster, which in the long run helps them grow and makes them come out stronger and wiser. Let people have emotions.
But you also wish your boy had more screen time, with scenes you could actually watch. Because now most of them are with Maggie, who you can’t say you ever really liked but you just can’t stand her now, and you know that’s not fair to the character but it was inevitable. And you try. You try not to hate on her, you try to be nice because that’s what you were taught. To only spread love, not hate, to see the positive side of things. You credit your grandma for that, too. But man, it’s so damn harddd! And you sure as hell love Kelly and you feel so sorry and mad that they did this to her and her character, because she deserves better than to be hated by en entire fandom. Nobody deserves that, nobody. Remember back when April had a crush on Derek and EVERY SINGLE MERDER FAN hated on Sarah with all their might? How does that make you feel? Hm. Infuriated, mostly. With a very strong urge to run up to your girl and hide her in your arms and protect her from this cruel fandom who thinks it’s okay to hate on real, actual people with real, actual feelings just because someone decided the fictional character they get paid to portray should have a little, fictional crush on another fictional character. That is not okay. And it makes you wonder what kind of shallow, superficial and immature people still go on with it.
Jackson is also getting a lot of hate, and you absolutely hate that. Because despite many other’s that are absolutely in love with April like you are, you are just as absolutely in love with Jackson as well. You have two favorite characters. Jackson and April. Those names are linked together, and you can’t imagine one of them without the other. And just like you hated when April got all that hate back in 12a, you hate how Jackson is getting it now. Do you think he’s different? Yes. He’s definitely less warm and emotional than he used to be. And he’s acting a bit recklessly and immaturely lately, spending money, making rushed decisions... Do you think that makes him an asshole? No. No, you don’t. Because you recognize people have flaws, you recognize people have their moments of immaturity and that they sometimes make mistakes. That only makes them h u m a n. And this short of stuff happen in real life. Sometimes we look at someone and can’t recognize them. It sure has happened to me a couple of times, and I have been the unrecognizable one a couple of others. It’s just how life is sometimes. But Jackson, truly, has done nothing wrong. Not being with April doesn’t make him an asshole. Being with April and thinking about someone else does, and not once has he come close to doing that. He made his stance clear from day one, he didn’t stop April from moving out because he felt like they could never work, or because the idea of Maggie was planted to his head, or for whatever other reason. That doesn’t make him an asshole, not to your eyes at least. That simply makes him honest when it comes to his intentions, and it protected April from getting further hurt as well. Hating his grandpa doesn’t make him an asshole to you, the man was unbelievable! He viewed him as a five-year-old child, ignored his authority, disrespected his choices for his own life and career, compared him to his father -which he KNEW was a soft spot for him and his worst ever nightmare- and was overall an absolute asshole. You hated him too, more than words can express, and you cried in joy when he complained himself to death, don’t deny it!
And also, being interested in someone new, as much as you despise it, doesn’t make Jackson an asshole to you. He is single. April is single. April is obviously already back on tinder and “so ready to be dating”, and you don’t see how Jackson is faulted for wanting the same thing. If anything, you wanted him to start something knew, just for the sake of realizing how there was nobody that could make him feel the way April did, that affected him and made him a better person like she used to. On the other hand the last thing you wanted was for him to be in a relationship with someone he looked good with, so the lack of chemistry between Jesse and Kelly is a gift from heaven to your eyes. Do you like the fact that they’re step-siblings? No, you fucking hate it. Do you think it’s a deal breaker. Ugh, that’s another no. First of all because they didn’t grow up as siblings, and have only gotten relatively closer since her mom died a few months ago. You could have seen them as siblings, but that bond was never really explored -whereas even though Owen and April are not related, their relationship was evolved in such a sibling-like way through the years that you practically view him as her older brother. And besides, you’d be a fucking hypocrite if you said that the fact that their parents got married is a deal breaker for you, since you know that that fact didn’t stop you from having as your first ever OTP a pair of 17-year-old step-siblings (who actually lived under the same roof for at least three years) and you almost cheered yourself to death when they got married at the end of the series. Yes, you know I’m talking about the Greek comic series “Ευτυχισμένοι Μαζί” (Eytyxismenoi Mazi/Together Forever) you freaking dumbass, don’t play innocent on me. You loved that show growing up, and you loved Markos and Eva together, step-siblings aside. And you found their parents’ reactions when they found out absolutely hilarious. You will not find Catherine and Richard’s reactions hilarious, however, no matter which they are, since you don’t find the entire storyline okay at all. Still, you are hoping with all that you have in you that the embarrassingly obvious luck of chemistry between the actors, along with the fact that practically every Grey’s Anatomy fan not only doesn’t ship them but hates them together, will result in the eventual dropping of this ridiculous storyline, which would NEVER have happened, by the way, after what happened in Montana. If Montana had never happened you might be better at believing it, but after Montana you just find it plain ridiculous.
Overall, you don’t think Jackson is an asshole. He is your boy. He is your baby. you love him more than words can say. And so if he wants to try and buy himself happiness, you are happy to watch him. You’d buy all shorts of useless crap if you had money too, and a yacht... man, hell yes! Although the first thing you’d do is buy a farm, we all know that. And if he wants to explore his options in the romantic department, why the hell not? It kills you inside, of course it fucking does! , but he is not with April, he is trying to move on and be happy, and if your baby finds that again, you will be happy too. All you want them is to be together, but if they can both be happy apart, then you can live with that. You can live with them cherishing their time together and simply being friends raising a baby -if we ever get to see a scene with them again. Grrr!- as long as they are happy. After all, you have your perfect version of Japril all shaped in your head where they got back together after Montana and are living happily ever after, in a house with hardwood floors, a washing machine and one of those milk-frothier things, with their little miracle of a beautiful daughter and a puppy. Because, come on, what’s a family without a dog?
You hate the canon Japril/Jaggie storyline right now. You hate it, yet you have learned to accept it. Or rather, to ignore it’s happening. You watch the episodes and really enjoy them, and then when a Jaggie scene happens you just watch it as an average viewer and roll your eyes and even chuckle at how somebody ever believed they could pass this as something actually ship-able. You laugh. You roll your eyes. You cope.
And then you go online, and you fall apart. You watch all these posts and rambles about how horrible the show is and how everyone is to be hated, and how the actors and us the loyal Japril shippers deserve better (which is the one part you partly agree with), and all these do is depress you and make feel guilty, guilty! , for falling back in love with the show that has been your home even since you were thirteen. And why should you feel like that, Truli? Nobody is asking you to apologize for liking the show. Nobody. But even if they were, why the fuck would you even pay attention to them? You don’t have to apologize for still liking the show, as everyone else doesn’t have to apologize for not liking it, and it’s terribly wrong of you to blame them if reading about it makes you feel bad.
People have the right to have their own opinions. People have the right to express them. If someone hates the show, they are free to say it out loud. And if someone loves it, they are free to express that too. Nobody has to apologize to anyone about the way they see things. But we all have to respect that our opinions might differ. That we are individuals with different characters, different upbringings, different beliefs, we are different people that have different views and nothing in the world will change that or ever should.
So I see two options for you, Truli. One is you can just give up on tumblr. If it’s screwing you up, if it keeps making you depressed, it’s not worth it, girl. You can’t ruin your life and your happiness over some fictional show. It’s not even that important. You know what’s important? Whether you will pass your driving exams this Monday. Whether your parents will make up or get a divorce instead. Whether you will study again to try to get into vet school or become a community doctor instead. Whether you will get your dog fixed or breed her. When you’re going to have another sleepover with you cousins. If you’re going to get that rabbit you want or not. Those are the important things you should be worrying about, not the storyline of a fictional show you can’t control anyway. And since you can recognize all that by simply watching the show but forget all about them the second you visit tumblr, maybe you should just give up on it and only deal with the show once a week when new episodes come out and whenever you feel like writing a fanfic about Japril.
The other option I see for you is that you grow the fuck up and realize the majority of the fandom feels only horrible about what is happening and won’t stop or should stop expressing it. You can accept that and learn how to not let it affect you. It can be easy if you just freaking try instead of complain about how negative everything is to yourself all the time. You can make an effort. You can do it, if only you try.
So, which is it gonna be, self? If you chose to go with the first option, that’s fine. It’s the healthier one, if anything. If you chose to go with the second one, that’s also fine - it requires some extra self-control but I think you can pull it off, and it will make you happier in the long run.
This is a choice you will have to make every time you get put down. Every time you feel like quitting the show and Japril, because you know that this isn’t what you really want. Every time you lose hope. Every time those happen you will come back to this post and read it -the WHOLE THING, no cheating, smartass- and you will be called to make this decision again.
And every time you choose to stay, is a time you will come out of this stronger.
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iraacundus · 7 years
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Blind Dates - Taeyong
Sorry, this took me so long to post and that I have been gone for the last three days. My german teacher has been at me about the exchange I’m going on so I had to do extra work so I’m very sorrryyy. Pray for me I have to make a new friend in german so this will be harddd. Hope you enjoy this have a good day - Em x
Request: Can you do a scenario your friends set up a blind date for you and it turns out your brother's best friend Taeyong? Thank you
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 1562
“Yeah, but y/n,” your friend said to you practically pleading you at this point. “You haven’t been on a date in months and months,”. You still shook your head.
 “And I don’t want to go on a date especially when I don’t know who it is and you won’t even show me a picture. What if he murders me?!” You pointed out picking up your bag and standing up from the bench you had been sitting on.
 “I promise he is not a murderer,” Your friend replied. She had the cheekiest grin on her face. “I also promise he is super nice and most of all super-hot. You will love him y/n,” She insisted.
 Her phone rang and she picked it up. You used this small time to edge further away from your friend so you could avoid this situation.
 She noticed you backing off and rolled her eyes moving the phone away from her face for a second.
 “I already told him you would meet him today!” She shouted to you. Damn, you sighed. She knew this meant you would show up. You weren’t mean enough to stand someone up. You were sure they were probably very nice; your best friend wouldn’t set you up with a psycho.
 Well at least you hoped she wouldn’t.
 The only real reason you were opposed to going on a date was because of this guy you had had a crush on for as long as you could remember. He was only a few years older than you but he was your brother's best friend so he probably only sees you as a little sister.
 There was no way you and Taeyong would ever happen. You decided to put your feelings aside and meet this new person.
 You quickly went home to change and do your hair a bit better. Usually, your brother and Taeyong hung out on Tuesdays so you were surprised to see your brother eating Tuesday pizza by himself.
 “Hey Doyoung,” You said to him brightly placing your keys down on the windowsill by your door. “No Taeyong today?” You asked him, leaning through the kitchen door before you went upstairs.
 “Nah, he stood me up for some date he is going on. I’m not sure what happened to bros coming first.” Doyoung said.
 “Don’t be mad because Taeyong has a date and you don’t Doyoung.” You teased him.
 “I do have dates!” He protested, “Just not on Tuesday. That’s our day. He said he really liked this girl and had waited for ages to get a date with her so I will let it slide.”
 You knew you had decided to let Taeyong go but your heart still sunk just a bit when you heard how much Taeyong really liked this other girl. But you kept the smile on your face.
 “Well I would love to stay and chat but I have a date of my own in half an hour so I gotta go change real quick.” You laughed running up the stairs.
“You're both traitors!” Doyoung wailed. His antics almost made you forget about Taeyong.
 You brushed your hair out and put on your favourite top and jeans before grabbing your phone and sprinting back down the stairs.
“Bye lonely brother!” You called to Doyoung before running out of the door grabbing your keys from the windowsill.
 The address of the café your best friend had texted you was only a minute walk from your house which was lucky. Any further and you would have been late. You walked into the familiar café and the little bell tingled.
 You, Doyoung and Taeyong would come here together as kids and the lady who owned it was practically family.
 She smiled as you walked in. There were only a few school kids and an old couple. You couldn’t see anyone your age anywhere. You made your way to the counter to speak to the lady who owned the shop.
 “Ah, I could have known you were the girl he was having the date with.” She said smiling. You were confused.
 “He just left something in his car and he will be back in one minute.” She said. “But he already got this for you,” It was your favourite smoothies from the café. Your friend must have told him it was your favourite.
 You thanked the little old lady and sat down at the only table with a coat left at it and no person. The coat looked familiar but then you thought lots of guys must have coats like that.
 You waited to minutes before pulling your phone out and checking your texts. You didn’t even notice the guy come back and sit down in front of you until he cleared his throat.
“Um hey y/n,” He said. You looked up and almost choked on your drink.
“Your Taeyong.” You said to him with disbelief.
“Last time I checked yes,” he chuckled slightly.
“What are you doing here?” You asked incredulously. “Doyoung said you were on some special date you had been waiting for ages for.”
Taeyong’s cheeks were tinged slightly with red as he looked at you and smiled.
“Well um… this is that date. I would have asked you myself but I was scared you would think of me like a brother and umm…” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.
“What,” is all you managed to say.
Taeyong looked down at the table and then back up at you again, swallowing before he spoke.
“You see y/n, we have known each other for a really long time yeah, but every time I see you it’s like the first time. I always liked you even when we were little kids and we pretended to get married in the playhouse in your back garden and Doyoung got really mad and I said he wasn’t allowed to shout at my wife,”
You smiled thinking back, that was a great day.
“We were only six but you said that when we were older we should be together for real. I know it faded away because when we were twelve Doyoung and I, were mean to you but I was just trying to get your attention. I have always liked you but I could never say it. We always say I love you to each other but I feel like it’s the same way you love Doyoung. But I love you in a different kind of way y/n. A way that makes me feel like I’m flying whenever you laugh or you smile. If you don’t like me back I understand and I hope we can still be good friends in time. I have been asking y/b/f/ for ages to set up this date because I had to say it. I love you.”
You stared at him not really processing his words. Taeyong blushed even harder.
“Um…can you say something? Or make even a sound to show me you’re not dying or something?” Taeyong asked looking slightly worried. You blinked a few times before realising reality. Pull yourself together y/n.
“I’m sorry, I just wasn’t expecting to meet you today,” His face fell. “Nonono! Not in a bad way. In fact, the only reason I was putting off meeting the person today was because I liked you. When Doyoung said, you were going out on a date with some girl you really liked I felt like someone stabbed me in the heart.”
“You so dramatic,” Taeyong joked smiling now.
“I’m trying to make this cute.” You said glaring at him.
“Everything you say is cute,” Taeyong winked.
“Just because you are better at romantic confessions than me doesn’t mean you need to show off.”
“I don’t need a romantic confession I just need to hear you say three words y/n. That will make my day far more than anything else you could ever say.” He replied.
“Fine,” you grinned. “I love… this smoothie. Its great you should try it Tae.” He frowned and crossed his arms, pouting.
He looked too cute for you to mess with him anymore.
“Ahh don’t be like that. I love you Taeyong.”
Taeyong stood up and walked around to kneel next to you. He pulled out a bracelet made of beads. It was the one you had made together when you were six. It said T ♡ /_/.
“You kept that for so many years,” You asked happily tears almost appearing in your eyes.
“Of course. It was a token of affection made by me and my love. So I kept it to give to my love when I asked her this.”
“y/n will you be my girlfriend?” He asked.
You nodded as he stood up and wrapped his arms around you tightly, hugging you.
He pulled back and slipped the bracelet onto your arm.
“You don’t know how long twelve-year-old me waited for this moment.” HE said to you, eyes shining brightly.
“I could say the same thing,” You said reaching up to brush a strand of his hair that had fallen in front of his eyes back. He leant in closer to you and pressed his lips to yours softly.
“And fifteen-year-old me definitely dreamed of this moment many a time,” he joked. You lightly pushed his arm.
“Well, fifteen-year-old Taeyong better be glad he waited until now. Otherwise, fifteen-year-old Doyoung would have had something to say.”
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survivormoheli · 6 years
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Episode Twelve - “Phoenix i just want u to know u that  i don't think of u just as an object to buy me things” - Tara
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Tara
i'm genuinely rly sad about richie leaving. i wish i put in more effort to talk to him n b friends w him bcos he has such a fun character. what stopped me was i knew he thought i was a leaker and i just thought he wouldn't of wanted to b friends w me but i should've tried to make him want 2 b friends w me anyway lol i'm sorry richie u deserve better
Blake
HOLY MOTHER OF GARBAGE WE PULLED THAT OFF! LYNN AND TARA SAVED MY ASS TONGIHT! GIVING ERIC FAKE PROMISES FOR THE FUTURE! OMG IM SOO HAPPY WOW I HONESTLY THOUGHT MY BUTT WAS GOIN HOME OMG! WOWOWO ERIC WANTED ME OUT. goodluck phoenix and tim AND ERIC >:0 FINAL THREE ME LYNN AND TARA
Blake
o and i was scared earlier bc eric was talkin to lynn about gettin me voted out but lynn finessed the shit out of him! and then i was scared shitless bc raffy omg he does not enjoy me at all lmao! inhope me and him can make up after this game!
Blake
Lynn: My love. My sunshine. My better half. I will see you soon <3 You better win this effing game! Show everyone you are a threat. I love you and we were together from the beginning now finish this without me! Tara: OOOO Tara they have done me dirty! Fight in my memory! CONQUER THIS LAND <3 Fight like I know you can! I am going to miss you too though! This game better end soon lol Eric: OOOOOOO ERIC if im going home you must’ve flipped…. RIP. GREAT MOVE THOUGH I respect your gameplay from turning yourself into a threat instead of continuing to be a goat! Richie: I still think you’re a threat! I wish you the best of luck (you are going to need it bc look at all the amazing players left)! Pull some big moves make me love you! Give me more than humor I wanna see you kill and stab ahha! Phoenix: Where are you? Big move maybe? You planning to ride Richie to the end? Tim: Well played you got two big threats out simultaneously from flipping! Taking something from my book I see? LOL (I’m not being sarcastic btw) Everyone: OK ANYONE OF YOU CAN WIN THIS GAME! PULL SOME BIG MOVES, BLINDSIDE SOME PEOPLE, AND DON’T LET THIS GAME’S SNAKINESS DIE OUT! EVERYONE PLAY TILL THE VERY END TO WIN! THINK ABOUT WHO YOU THINK YOU CAN WIN AGASINT. MAKE SOME HUGE MOVES! IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO DO!
(what i wud of said if i went home tonight at the F7 tribal)
Eric K
That was a stressful lead up to tribal. Richie was really trying to convince me to flip but it just didn't feel right. Why would il allign myself with people I've barely talked to and just trust that I'm not on the bottom? Of course I realize that Blake is a huge threat and needs to go before f3 or he will be the winner. I had a good chat with Tara and Lynn separately and we all agree that he needs to go. Hopefully it'll happen in two tribals from now since he has an advantage/immunity that can only be used at next tribal.
Tim
So Raffy and JG voted for me? They really think I was playing some middle when in reality I was just being social and going into survival mode. Like Raffy I didn't even vote for you to go home so fuck off and JG you went home because of the blind round and you dont even have any proof that I voted for you so bye!
Blake
Hi yes Goodmorning. I woke up from my peacefull slumber and was INTERROGATED! TIM i guess was like ima ask who Blake wants  int the F3 and i was shook bc none o my allies were awake or off doing something to help me formulate a response... AND WELLL PEOPLES BLAKE IS NOT THE BEST AT JUST NOT RESPONDING OR GIVING A GOOD RESPONSE! TIM asked if i was takin tara and lynn to F3 or Tara and Eric (really cnfused bc i thought i was obvi i was takin lynn not matter what?) SO ME BEING THE GENIUS THAT I AM AND NOT REFUSING T RESPOND SAID "  Well i want to win so I wanan go with ppl who I think I can win against" in all honesty im scared if i said someting with names eric might freak or some shiz! bc i am taking tara and lynn. i know i could of lied and said im takin lynn and eric but that just sounds rude. you know taking? lol. oooo WELL NOW TIMMY IS PLEADING HIS CASE WITH ME. I REALY LIKE TIM TBH. PHOENIX IS THE ONLY PERSON HERE WHOO DOES NOT TALK TO ME OR TRY TO AT ALL ITS REALLY RUDE. BUT OMG THIS IS THE LORDS DAY AND IM FEELING ATTACKED
Blake
The lords day is Timmy's day today
Blake
I just had i thought. I think the winner of this game will either be more or whoever takes me out. (TIM) STAY AWAY. maybe it wont even be me and i think to highly of myself XD
Tim
The longevity of my game relies on these immunity results. If I win, I fight on to another round. If I lose then... well looks like I can't afford to lose.
Blake
OBVIOUSLY MY ASS HOLE IS GOING NEXT ! SOOOOOOOO WOW I HATE EVERYTHING AND NOT KNOWING WHAT THIS ADV WAS
Lynn
OHMYGODSHAHSBSB i feel like this vote is gonna go to rocks and that is gonna be rocks between 3 people and odds are not in my favor ajsjdn i have awful luck ohhhhh my god okay well honestly going out by rocks isn’t the worst way to go 
Blake
OMFG ok im like 99% sure that i am safe! bc i think tara and lynn will vote for tim! all we hav to do is get phoenix to flip! omg this is stressfull i hate i hate! WHY AM I BEING TARGTED ALL THE TIM OMG AHHHH! ERIC IM COMING AFTER UR ASSHOLE U BETTER WATCH OUT BUD U BETTER KEEP WIINNING OR U R GOING HOME!
Tara
omg so just got back from hanging out w phoenix n had a bunch of fun! we watched love simon and i had to try not to cry like 5 times, happy tears tho. also ijust remembered like a couple rounds ago i said that i would get phoenix to buy me ice cream and he offered but i said no!! and now i realised it ruined my whole thing n yikes! i guess the offer counts? and he also bought me m'n'ms which i am eating now n they r delicious. also phoenix i just want u to know u that  i don't think of u just as an object to buy me things HAHHAHA fbdksf i REALLY ENJOYED HANGING OUT WITH YOU!!! and i hope we do it again sometime soon!!!!! sorry for forgetting u're lactose intolerant like twice. but ya phoenix was super fun. hopefully this is the start of a new alliance!! i think this round i'm going to vote tim bcos i feel like it'll make f5 a lot more cruisier and less stressful for me than having to rely on lynn not flipping on me or anyone else not flipping on me. hopefully eric can win immunity again so we can vote out blake. it was rly weird talking about game with someone face to face? and like planning about it and stuff. idk thank u phoenix for the fun day out!! also I MADE F5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't believe i did that!!!!!!!!!!!!! woooh!!!
Eric K
I am so happy that I won two immunity challenges at once!! I chose the advantage hoping that this would be a good chance to take out Blake. Since I talked to Tara and Lynn about eventually cutting Blake out, I think this would be a good opportunity. I just hope he does not have some sort of advantage to screw this up...
Tim
So I lost the challenge and I'm not dissapointed in myself, Im just unhappy that I couldn't win the challenge when I most needed to. And now I'm in jeopardy.
Tim
So Eric pretty much nominated me and Blake up for elimination which sucks harddd. I guess I have new hope in the game. It sucks that he didn't just do Blake and Phoenix but I guess he considers us his biggest competition to win. 
Tim
So Ive been heavily campaigning to Tara and Eric but who knows how this will turn out. Hopefully Eric just lets me go to rocks.
Eric K
I am very frustrated that Tara is not willing to go for Blake. The things she's saying are making me think that she would rather keep Blake long term and is potentially just using me... Even with me voting Blake, the numbers wouldn't be there and I would be outing myself early on. I guess I just have to keep on winning immunity challenges and hope I am not being played.
Tara
omggg so the most awkward thign happened i tried to call tim bcos i felt rly bad that we hadn't talked all season and i genuinely rly like him n i just wanted to chat but he turned it into a plea session, idk why i didn't expect that, n then i just like waited it out until he stopped fkdfs and then he started talking 2 me about his day so yay but then he was like ok i'll go grab some food and i was like ok seeya tim sorry about everyhting n he was like so you are voting me? and i was like yaa i'm sorry and then it just got rly awkward and silent and he was just looking at his computer screen like looking like he was about to cry and it wasl ike FIFTEEN WHOLE SECONDS of like silence and oh my god. i am an awful person. i love u tim. i'm glad i voted him out bcos i don't rly trust eric all that much but it forces him to work w me now so he can vote out blake n lynn n then  i can hopefully take phoenix to f2 or convince eric to take me to f2. yayayyyay can u believe i'm here and i have a PLAN go me
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