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brother-emperors · 6 months

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When you talk about Philippino history and then Roman history, as a Venezuelan it's been making me think about our history and like, I've always thought there's a lot of similarity there but now it's like...its so similar. Your house is haunted too! I always think about how we won wars against the colonizers but their ghosts are still there, and they still sit at the dinner table with us every night. Your work is so cool, I feel like I can extend that train of thought further through time. I've never been interested in Rome but now I kinda am!

Venezuela 🤝the Philippines: being haunted houses (colonized by Spain)

also that is so SO real, the ghosts really are with us!! THEY ARE AT!!! OUR DINNER TABLES!!!!! ngl, once you start noticing it, it's impossible to NOT notice how they've crawled into the spaces and just. stayed.

ancient Rome is so weird for it too, because if you asked me about it, I wouldn't immediately put ancient Rome down for haunting the Philippines, except for the fact that like Catholicism, it's fucking everywhere. it's gotten in the cracks and spaces between the walls. On the stage of theater, Nadres' Hanggang dito na lamang at maraming salamat: the main character is named after Julius Caesar

Closet Queeries, J. Niel C. Garcia

and so many people are named after figures from ancient Rome (I know enough Mark Anthonys I've run out of differentiating nicknames for everyone) that it rivals Catholic saints for naming conventions. neo classical architecture had it's moment in the sun in Manila, our ilustrados brought some of it back when they returned from Spain to call for reform, and then independence, and I am struggling to hold back a plague-infection comparison about that. like, something else crept in with Spain, and like Spain's ghosts, it Did Not Leave.

but on the other hand! there's a long, centuries long, tradition of using the events of the Fall of the Republic to discourse, discuss, to vent or call for action, current events. it provides a interlocutor when something hurts too much to say directly, it provides a stage to explore a tragedy that echoes in our own histories, it gives a script to voice an ideal that a government might otherwise put down. how many centuries have we used Brutus (and Cassius) to rail against Tyranny, and how many centuries with equal enthusiasm have people used Julius Caesar as a martyr to justify the rights of Kings and Empires? these things are equally as important (in a different way) from the ancient events that actually transpired. (this specific topic, of Brutus & the Assassination of Caesar and it's literary revivals in history, are the focus of The Brutus Revival, Manfredi Piccolomini)

and the cores of these things conflict with each other, but in that friction, it's like there's an invitation to sit down and think for a minute. to look back at history and feel it's immediacy in the present.

ANYWAY I got carried away, but I am glad!! that my stuff could make Rome interesting!!! I hope that you find new doors of thoughts to explore!!!!!!!

#holding this ask in my heart forever thank u for sending this anon #ask tag #idk sometimes i draw goofy shit because its fun. and gay stuff because I Like Men ofc im going to explore things thru that lens #but also. i feel a little like im trying to look at this lurking ghost of imperialism without. addressing it directly #my love for spectacle and drama directly against knowing that the historical horror is not. that far removed. heugh.#so this meant a lot to me!! i feel seen in a good way. thank u again!

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zebratimw · 11 months

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Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

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lucalicatteart · 4 months

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A few little sketches of some possible school uniforms for mage schools/learning centers for magic/etc. :0c Though because Nanyevimi is so scattered and disconnected, it'd actually vary much more by region (like not everywhere would have a cultural concept of what a suit jacket or neck tie looks like lol), so it's probably unrealistic for so many of them to follow too many traditional Uniform Conventions from cultures in our world, etc. But, still, fun to mess around with designs, and think about which would be most fun to wear/what school you'd go to just based off the clothing lol~

#I haven't felt well enough to do anything actually productive lately GRRRR.. evil health issues....#but I can sometimes at least draw while I lay on the floor with a heating pad and etc. lol.. so...#goofy little sketches. Still dislike that the ipad thing someone gave me is either like.. maybe the settings are just off OR possibly the #screen is slightly broken in some regard - so the pressure sensitivity does not work at all. thus all lines are blunt looking #instead of having tapered edges. which I KNOW can be a stylistic thing. like I think it's fine mostly #but sometimes shading looks weird for all of the lines to be the exact same size/width with like no variation lol #though since it's just little sketches it doesnt matter lol but still... hrmm... ever working out my strategy for how to use the ipad for a #art things/if I can ever get used to it/etc.#AAANYWAY... still so uniform obsessed.. and have been since I was a child. Like way before going to middle school and meeting #the people who like anime and get into school uniforms of that variety. I mean like... age 7 before even having any friends #and having zero popular media interests or outside influences that would make uniforms Trendy. but I would see like a 'private school #uniform' on a new story on tv or something or in a book and was just like OUGH... I Should Dress That Way #I used to go to thrift stores and find multiple seperate pieces that could be combined together to look like a school uniform #I had like 4 or 5 different 'uniforms' that I made myself in that way. My first outfit that I was ever allowed #to pick out for myself as my big First Day Of Middle School outfit was literally like school uniform inspired #(maybe mixed with a little goth.. like it was a school uniform sort of look but black and white with fishnet armwarmers lol.. plaid +#stripes pattern mixing my beloved... )#I think it's just the same way that I love apartment buildings because I'm infinitely fascinated with like.. observing human nature and peo #le displaying their psersonalities in little ways and how you can give 10 people the same exact identical space but each one will decorate #it completely differently just depending on their own tastes and reasonnig and etc. I love the idea of everyone in some setting #having to be in one specific set outfit BUT you can tell something about them by the little ways they customize it or what type #of accessories they wear or if they choose to button their shirt fully or not or etc. etc. I like the constraints of 'okay everyone has to #be in exactly the same uniform - NOW. give them their own unique style somehow despite this' etc. etc. like #yaaaayyyy.. I love thinking of little obscure details that convey personality. they have a little pin hidden on the inside of their #hat. their shoes are just like everyone else's but more worn out. they have a necklace barely visible beneath their collar. their tie is #always a little more askew that everyone elses. or even. the uniform is EXACTLY on model entirely clean crisp pristine not a single element #customized or out of place - which STILL tells you something about them. etc. etc.#ANYWAY.. yeahg.. struggling to get anything done these last few weeks so.. blam. poof. alakazaam. scratchy little sketches #of nothing very productive or relating to any other project in particular be upon ye

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welcometogrouchland · 1 year

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[ID: three digital illustrations based on episodes of the owl house. The first image is based on Understanding Willow and features Amity and Inner Willow. Amity looks at Inner Willow regretfully, holding a hand to her chest, as Inner Willow stands surrounded by pink fire, yelling at Amity with steam coming from her eyes. Lyrics are written crookedly across the background: "I'm not here for your entertainment/your the kinda guy that likes some fun/am I just here for a bit of amusement?/you'll never be my NUMBER 1!!!".

The second image is based off For the Future and features Willow and Hunter. Hunter hugs willow, his face obscured, as she sobs and vines glow green around them both. The lyrics this time are written more neatly in the middle of the image and read "are you bored?/or are you scared?/what happened to secrets we shared?/ Did I say something/? Have I crossed the line?/you know I never meant it/when I said I was FINE!".

The final image is both drawings on one canvas with no lyrics. Each image has a dark blue background. End ID]

Thinks about Willow's repressed emotions and eats glass. Cutely (song is Con Man by The Tuts!)

#the owl house #toh #willow park #amity blight #hunter toh #hunter noceda #(aw i haven't used that one in a while :'))#Understanding Willow #For the Future #i have to go shower so i can't add tag commentary rn all i can tell you is RRRAGH GO LISTEN TO THAT SONG AND GET FEELINGS ABT IT LIKE ME #I'VE WANTED TO MAKE THIS FOR WEEKS AND I FINALLY GOT AROUND TO IT #i wish you could see hunters face but it just didn't work with the proportions so i had to live with that #SAD. ah well there's other blonde boys (<- cruel joke abt grimwalkers)#not about him though. it's about willow #i think (and this is a big maybe) once I'm done my rewatch of s2A (and the frog show cause I'm rewatching that too)#I'm gonna rewatch EVERY willow ep right before ASIAS and then go from there #she's special she deserves it #same way i might rewatch the gus episodes before Labyrinth Runners. it's just a little ritual i have sometimes :]#anyway. oooooh you want to appreciate willows repressed rage and fear and sadness soooo bad #also I'M SORRY IF THE HAND LETTERING IS BAD FONTS JUST LOOKED TO GOOFY. I'M TRYING BARE WITH ME

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taylorshope · 8 months

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Some silly Erin screenies I took while working on an edit

#i love taking stupid little screenshots of these games #they look so goofy sometimes 😭 (affectionate)#supermassive games #the dark pictures anthology #the devil in me #erin keenan

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heartslobbf · 11 months

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yj is fascinating to me. i watch the silly finale. i giggle. i think huh that's interesting. i go yepyep they're still not interrogating race and disability and consequently having some racist and ableist implications in their narrative. i whoop and cheer when coach ben says fuck them kids and tries to burn down their little cannibalism cottage, not because i think they deserve to die but i think it's deeply funny that ben Did That. what a guy. coach 'i can excuse burning like 12 children to death but i draw the line at survival cannibalism' ben. yes thats his legal name <3 anyway misty girls stay winning

#if i was going to actually write on this show id have a lot of mixed things to say #but i mostly go to yj for the goofs and the gaffs. like i think they need to lean into the absurdism 100x more #it neeeeeeeeds to be a comedy horror. to ME #sometimes the drama works really well and other times well its just a bit goofy. doesnt make it bad but i dont think its the intent lol #nat's death is not a bad writing choice but the execution for me was a bit off #and the ableist implications of killing the recovering addict #they could still have her die in that exact way but they need to interrogate these issues to dispel those implications #otherwise its incredibly easy to read it as punishing an addict. so i completely understand that criticism #things i enjoyed: misty shauna's ritualistic killing timeout the adam storyline wrap up (sooo funny just get elijah wood to kill a cop)#callie!!!!!!!!!!! obviously ben lol. travis eating his little brother's heart (guy who has only seen rgu watching yellowj--)#when shauna looked at callie kind of smiling at the end ohohohohhohohohohoho #again: MISTY. THE IMPLICATIONS #anyway hwatever maybe i will write something on yj. was thinking of being annoying and starting a substack #shut up daisy #yellowjackets

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llycaons · 1 year

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xl went through so much insane suffering, things like being stabbed until he barely resembles a human form and being locked in a coffin for literally a hundred years, but I think making him immortal and ever-healing and showing how much he learned from his experiences AND ending his story with so much closure and close relationships makes his tragedies a lot easier to bear than wwx's. like, emotionally

#when I see xl I go marlon brando voice *look how they massacred my boy*#reading books 2 and 4 going wow this is really sad im glad that's behind xl and he's at such peace #reading the flashbacks in mdzs and going WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK #wwx does have a nice little recovery arc in the book but he's still clearly really messed up from a lot that had happened to him #and compartmentalizing and avoiding his past and desperately trying to survive another day #in a way xl really wasn't. he was just chilling #this is why I never read tgcf fic unless it's very goofy or pokes fun at canon #it feels like such a more complete story with no loose ends or lingering issues #tho tbf I don't really search for novel fic I search for cql fic and happen to run into novel stuff that I like sometimes #which is usually modern with magic or dealing with various things I thought weren't handled well like the sex scenes #also he was by all accounts a very stable and happy child and young adult. the shit didn't even start until he was 17 #by that point wwx had lost two sets of parents been hunted on the street by feral dogs as a starving child been tortured multiple times #has lost his home to a violent invasion had given up his core in a painful procedure that he knew would eventually kill him #and been in a war #hm. anyway.#tgcf txp

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skrunksthatwunk · 9 months

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oh the inherent autistic4autistic romance of harold and maude (1971). im gonna lose my mind

they. i. omg. look i've seen this movie 3 times and it always gets better. it's very good i love it dearly. im not sure what this post is im just gonna talk about them being autistic that's all.

sensory stuff (sensory seeking, in particular):

maude's scent machine (to "give her nose a treat"!!), harold's enjoyment of it

her "switch to the tactile" via things like statues, her encouragement to explore it in a variety of ways, which harold does in some unconventional ways, i.e. sticking his head in lol

when replanting the tree maude mentions a love of dirt for sensory reasons (i believe it's the way it feels but it might be the smell)

that scene where harold's like ooh the day's so nice i feel like somersaulting and she's like yeah!! go do it!! and he's like but id feel stupid and she's like everyone has a right to make an ass of themselves. and then he somersaults. very neurodivergent friend group of them that kind of enabling is literally me and my friends

in the above scene, maude declines harold's offer of a cartwheel and says she feels like yelling, then does so. vocal stim

maude's breath of fire morning routine could also be a vocal stim

arguably maude's fascination with art and them watching the fireworks and model trains could be visual stims, but that's a bit more of a stretch. still.

maude's clutter could also be kind of a visual stim. i like visual clutter for that reason; perhaps she doesn't mind it in her home

maude's focus on music and making sound, something she passes to harold via the banjo, singing (even if imperfectly), etc

they dance :) (harold's dance at the end particularly feels like stimming to me)

harold sitting upside down on the therapist's chair

harold's morning-after bubble blowing could be visual

maude likes stealing different kinds of cars for the variety. this, combined with how she comments on how harold's hearse drives, makes me wonder if it's a vertebral/proprioceptive kinda thing where she likes feeling the cars move differently, like the different leans to their turns and how they start and stop, things like that (mecore)

communication/self expression:

harold expresses himself through faking his death in a variety of gruesome and creative ways

harold drives a hearse!! and he likes it. even as his wardrobe moves from black and he stops going to funerals it's the one thing he holds onto

harold's affect is relatively flat. his smiles are pretty small and rare and he almost never raises his voice

harold makes little to no effort to hold conversation with others besides maude outside of performances (i.e. faking maude's death with uncle victor). a lot of this is because he detests the situations he's in (i.e. the dating service calls or speaking to the motorcycle cop), but even when speaking could theoretically add to the performance, he chooses not to, instead silently showing what he needs to, i.e. in the harakiri scene. in short, mecore

maude infodumps and overshares and i love her. it matches well with harold's relative quiet. like when she's walking to her house after harold drives her home for the first time and she talks about her friend who gave her the keys and tricks to car theft? unnecessary. but wonderful

not sure how to explain this one but when harold begins to cry when telling the chem lab story, maude doesn't say anything like, "im sorry, that sounds really hard", but instead talks about people backing away from life, and does her "give me an L give me an I" L-I-V-E cheer. it's not a typical response, but it's one that resonates with harold (not that saying the former can't be an autism vibe bc i for sure rely on scripts in situations like that Because they're unfamiliar, but it depends person to person yk)

harold falls in love and plans on proposing within a week, potentially suggesting very strong experiences of emotions

i mean. the whole movie is maude being like get weird be authentic explore and love life and then them being weird. unmasking journey starts NOW!!!!

harold knows that the only way to get people to leave him alone is to scare them away, or to make them think he's a lost cause that they can't make "more normal". he tends to do this instead of talking. obv faking his deaths, but also faking maude's murder, showing his mother maude's photo instead of explaining beyond exactly what's needed, torching the car his mother exchanged the hearse for, etc. he knows he won't be accepted and uses his weirdguy vibe to his advantage bc he knows they think he's weird anyway. and also because he doesn't want to talk much in general

when confronted by a cop about stealing a car she's like yeah i took it. and this tree. she doesn't bother lying bc she doesn't see a problem with it and/or because she isn't afraid of the cop

when harold goes to tell his mother that he's planning to marry maude he interrupts her even though she's on the phone multiple times because he Has To Tell Her Now

harold sending the hearse off the cliff at the end as a symbolic but ultimately useless gesture is another silent death he expresses himself with, but one he is rebirthed from

interests/beliefs:

harold's interest in death and destruction are kinda his only hobbies for a while, and are ones that keep him isolated

they go to strangers' funerals for shits. enough said (they also freely admit to not knowing the deceased like they do not care)

maude chooses to end her life at 80. she has a very positive, loving view of death in relation to life and change, and does not see this as sad, nor does she consider her relationship with harold as a reason to stay longer. she's made that decision, and he's just one beautiful component of an endlessly beautiful world she's leaving behind. her perspective is not common, but it's something that drives her throughout the movie, that search for life and whimsy

the romance itself is unusual, but the only ones who question it are outsiders. they both seem unphased by the age gap. the taboo doesn't matter to them at any stage

maude's past of protest could suggest a strong sense of justice, and her disregard of law could suggest an "im not gonna follow this rule if it's not right/doesn't make sense" attitude (she also explicitly ties her unorthodox behavior to her protest experience, saying it's her own, small form of resistance. just against social norms generally)

harold's rejection of normal social conventions i.e. dating, hanging out at funerals/demolition sites, etc. as well as his disdain for the military (particularly the way it manifests when he's tricking victor into not enlisting him by pretending to be bloodthirsty and screaming at maude that she's a commie pig, reflecting how he sees victor/those like him) show a kind of disregard of/distaste for hierarchy and norm (though he does feel those pressures to mask, as shown by the somersaulting conversation)

maude brings a yellow umbrella to a funeral, not even trying to blend in or seem mournful (her use of color is tied to how live flowers are used at funerals rather than dead ones. it's another joy and life thing. this logic of "i don't get why everyone does this. why should i not celebrate life here/in this way?" is straightforward and unaffected by/in spite of norms but IS affected by/because of her world view in a way that's real autistic to me)

misc

maude collects stuff

maude shows an unusual amount of empathy for the tree in town and moves to rescue it. this may be contrasted with her flippantness about the trouble her car stealing may cause people to show both an unusual amount of empathy for inanimate objects/non human beings and low empathy for humans

something so so very autistic to me about harold blowing up the chemistry lab at his boarding school and just. going home. jdjhsksg he didn't tell anyone he just went to bed im--

when maude says all the daisies are different she mentions all kinds of subtle details, which could indicate a higher level of observation than average

maude shows almost no sense of danger or fear. whether she's being questioned by cops in a stolen vehicle or telling her new lover she's poisoned herself, she seems carefree. that could be because of how much horror she's faced, or because of her knowledge that it'll end soon and she won't have to deal with the consequences for long. but it could also be autism

harold has a similar unusual relationship with fear. he's totally fine with the stunts that could easily go wrong and with maude falling into the ocean and with mixing random chemicals in a lab for shits but when it comes to other people putting him in situations he's upset

harold has no friends and is misunderstood and made to change to become more "normal" by everyone except for maude

just. the themes of societal oppression by demanding conformity. and resisting it by living authentically. they're Everywhere in this movie and that's inherently coded towards all kinds of marginalization, neurodivergency included (one way i haven't mentioned that this appears is in the implication that maude is a nazi concentration camp survivor, as evidenced by the numbers tattooed on her wrist. obviously, fascism and eugenics are heavily invested in removing difference, whatever it may be. nazis did focus on autism somewhat (hans asperger was a nazi doctor, after all), so that could be a sort of autistic coding, though it is (understandably) generally not used as such because they were not nearly as much of a focus to them. such coding is much more often for jewish people for that reason. it's more likely that she is/was jewish, or frederick was, or she helped others who were victimized, or resisted, etc. anyway, her drive to live fully regardless of convention could be related to seeing so much death and suffering firsthand, or to a complete rejection of the ideology that brought it and anything that resembles it. it seems influenced by that, at least.)

tl;dr harold and maude is about rejecting small talk and dating and the government and instead smelling things and rolling around in the grass and loving completely life and living weirdstyle. plus they both give me Vibes. that's all go watch harold and maude

#no not everyone who rejects societal norms and is goofy and stims is nd. but these two are <3 #theyre just like me and my buddies fr #harold and maude #unusually frequent beloved movieposting this week huh. neat #look sometimes ya gotta drop an hour on a zero note post for yourself. meditation #anywya this was not meant to be so long and even so it's not comprehensive. theres probably more #but yeag 👍 autism. proof: uhh i like them.also all of this dtuff #also shoutout to my ouppy dog for sitting in the dark on the floor with me while i typed this waiting for me to pet her #autism girlie camaraderie with my dog #her feet are now twitching i think shes dreaming omg i love her sm. my little stinkman my babushka

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