#but theres a difference in trying to COPY the real worlds looks

[itzalizeyyy]

hii, its alizey here! In this blog, I have copied and pasted common questions and amazing great answers and explanations to those questions. I will credit every single answer to the right blogger. I strongly recommend to go check them out.

This is meant to decrease the frequent common questions being asked. If your question hasn’t been answered here, I am still trying to add more when I can but you can always ask me or other great non-dualism bloggers.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Q&A

“Hey so lets say i become aware of sth i dislike. That doesn’t mean it exists if i don’t want it to? I can simply switch my awareness to being aware that it doesn’t exist?”

“consciousness doesnt dislike it, its ego that has opinions and dislikes things. if u i observe/become aware of it, it exists but it will never be real bc nothing is ever real. it “existing” is just you being aware of it its nothing serious. but yeah being aware of something else and not the thing that ego dislikes makes it not exist anymore” - @msperfect777

“What if I want to be an actor and then be in a relationship with a celebrity? I'm new in the non-dualism so idk too much.”

“imagine it. if u dont understand then read my non dualism series on my pinned post bc thats what its there for” - Msperfect777

“I have a df, and I'm confused bc in loa they tell you that you alr have it in the 4d and wait until it is reflected in the 3d, but in non dualism it's different, and it is difficult for me to understand, what if I imagine it but never look the way I want?”

“bc u think u are human and u think there is a separation of “4d” and “3d”. non dualism = there is no separation bc everything is consciousness (ur true self). ego is making it seem harder than it is bc its so used to “reflections” and “manifestation” and separations. read my non dualism series on my pinned post.” - msperfect777

“how did you learn about non dualism and why? are there any good sources to read when you start?”

“@infinite.ko on instagram is where my journey started. shes so helpful so go check her out. “ - Msperfect777

“How can I use non dualism to become aware of my dream life?”

“non dualism is just a concept. be aware of ur dream life the same way u are aware of these words. but in imagination. bc as u know everything is imagination.” - Msperfect777

“Ok so if I’m getting this correctly, I am consciousness which = imagination so I don’t need to do anything bc I’m aware that imagination is the only consciousness I feel like ghe way i typed it out doesn’t make sense but basically only imagination matters, not sure if I’m getting “

“EVERYTHING is imagination. imagining a phone and the phone “you” have in “your” hand rn in the “physical” are not different. the illusion is that they SEEM different bc one SEEMS more realer than the other. yes theres nothing to do bc u are always aware as awareness / consciousness.” - msperfect777

“why does the "physical reality" feel so much realer than when fulfilling something in our imagination if it's all the same? how do i become of aware the things in my imagination to feel as real as what my ego or human body is experiencing?”

“1) its an illusion. ego is programmed to think that “physical world” is more realer than imagination

2) how to become aware? ur aware of these words rn. the second part seems to me that u think u are a human and u want something to “reflect” from imagination to the “physical” … u havent understood non dualism yet

3) theres no “feeling”… feeling is unreal. everything is a dream, an illusion” - Msperfect777

“I have this mentality that I’m not everyone cause I feel worthless and not speical I can’t really accept that I’m god . Any advice ?”

“thats the ego‼️‼️ you “feel” worthless and “cant accept” your true self bc youre stuck identifying with the human/body/mind = false self. SNAP OUT OF IT. heres an example that i heard somewhere i forgot where: when you watch a movie, you know it is a movie bc you are outside of it. you are observing it. now what about the characters in the movie? they dont know its a movie bc they are not outside of it. they think they are just regular ppl and they dont see the truth, their true selfs: which is just characters in a movie. what about water? water doesnt know its water bc its not on the outside, in order to observe/become aware that it is water. tell me why we can see or be aware of the body? why can we be aware of thoughts and feelings? bc we are “outside” of it. thats not who we really are. we are consciousness which is only aware of the body/ego. its not who we really are. we are not the body; we are not human; we are awareness/consciousness/the observer. we only observe these feelings/body/ego. so why take them seriously? now that you know that the ego is false and the body is false and that your true identity is only the observer, choose to stop identifying and agreeing with your thoughts and ego. they arent real. silently observe those thoughts and feelings come and go bc as the observer, observing is your nature. theres no need to fight with these unreal, imaginary things right? know your true self and observe. “ -msperfect777

“i am everything, right? so if i want to be in a TV show being a specific character, i already am and i just have to be aware of it? but how could i be aware of something i want if i don't know how it is having/being that thing?”

“sounds like ego is over complicating it… u are aware of these words right now. do u have to “know how its like” observing these words to be aware of them? no bc being aware and observing is natural, thats ur true identity. imagine it and it exists instantly. any other thoughts or beliefs are unreal, illusionary ego.” - msperfect777

“i have dream last night and want to know what you think. about dreams!”

“dreams r unreal. an illusion just like the “waking” “physical” world.” - msperfect 777

“If i am aware of some desire i want in my human being. It will instantly show physically. But what if i don’t see it physically?”

“what is “physical”? for you do identify something as “physical” and worry about some reflection means you see duality and separation where there is none. everything is imagination. you want to see it “physically”? imagine it and it exists instantly. you are limiting yourself to this unreal “physical” world when everything is imagination either way. you havent fully understood non dualism yet.” - msperfect777

“I am a little confused. so like everything is consciousness right, so I am everything and everything is me. so is my human self also me? like when I say “I am happy” does it refer to the human self or my true self?”

“everything is a form of consciousness. the human false self is also a form of consciousness. let me break this down: everything is you but you are not everything. everything is you bc everything is a form of consciousness bc nothing can exists without you being aware of it first. so a cat is a form of consciousness. a cat is you. but you (consciousness) is not the cat. your true self is consciousness and you cannot be a form of consciousness bc consciousness itself is the only real thing. thats why forms of consciousness arent real and only exist when you become aware of them. consciousness = limitless bc you can be / imagine anything. forms of consciousness arent limitless bc they are just forms of you. they cant be limitless bc they are only illusion and therefore unreal. and yes everything is consciousness bc its all you. just wanted to clear that up hopefully its not too confusing. a form of consciousness is unreal while consciousness itself is all it can ever be. yet everything is consciousness (non duality). if thats too confusing to understand, its fine bc either way everything is consciousness. i just wanted to use ur question to mention that. the human self is a form of consciousness but it isnt your true identity (consciousness) bc it is only a form of consciousness. consciousness is naturally “happy” and naturally “peace” so i would say that when ego/human says “i am happy” that it refers to the human ego, not the real you.” -msperfect777

so if i already am immortal, could i never become old (appearance)? and i will literally never die? i have fear of even "manifesting" not physically aging and being immortal, I actually end up aging and dying. it's like so ???? yk idk how to explain

“you are worried about being the human body which you are not. consciousness does not get old. consciousness never dies. consciousness = ur true identity. having that fear is the ego. the ego isnt real and feelings arent real. the body ends up aging and dying which is ur false self… consciousness (ur true self) doesnt. again you are already limitless so if u want the body to not age, imagine it and its done.” -msperfect77

“Giving myself burger in my imagination doesn’t satisfy my hunger in 3D How is that the same? Like seriously not meaning to be rude but doesn’t make sense.”

“thats an illusion. ask yourself who thinks they are still hungry? the answer wouldnt even matter bc this is all not real. you are consciousness that is playing the role of a human being and for the body, it is natural that it eats like its natural for consciousness to be aware. it seems not the same bc ego takes “not satisfying hunger in the physical world” as an excuse for the “physical” being the “real reality” and therefore it thinks imagination and “physical world” are separate, even tho the body is only consciousness bc nothing can exist without u being aware of it first. and since consciousness = imagination, everything = imagination. including the body and the body still being hungry. its all illusion😍. ego just thinks the two situations “feel” different even tho it all exists within consciousness therefore only being consciousness. hope that makes sense. “ - Msperfect777

“perfect , i have a question. all the teachers and blogs say we are human beings, designed to live a human life. let's say I want to manifest being immortal, or for example a vampire, or even a literal goddess. it's possible? with all these lectures saying that we are designed to live a human life, i had this doubt”

“you are already immortal bc consciousness never died bc consciousness was never born. “dying” is an unreal concept for ego and ppl who sadly dont know theyre true selves. you want to be a vampire? imagine it. literally you are every experience ego has had. everything is consciousness = you are already “your” phone. these words are forms of you. the human body is a form of consciousness. the beach and the rain and a chocolate cake and the side walk are forms of you. since you are so limitless that you can take all those infinite forms, why not be a vampire or a goddess. you are infinite limitlessness. dont doubt that. and ppl saying you are designed to life a human life are limited. we take on the role of humans at first but you literally make the rules in your own game. be whatever you want. no one and nothing can stop you💀. dont listen to a teacher/blogger that makes you feel limited. you are meant to do whatever you want, play whatever game you want in whatever form. do it bc you can and thats the point of life. “ -msperfect777

“Not trying to be rude but , you as human not real so why do you eat? Why do you drink? Why do you care about your life since everything is not real?”

“1) i am consciousness disguised as a human being. human bodies have natural things like breathing, blinking, eating etc. those are natural for the human just like it is natural for consciousness to be the observer.

2) non dualism implies nothing is real and this is all an illusion so all this is a game that i get to shape. i can imagine anything and there it is instantly. i can remove and add things right away. the point to enjoy this illusion and have fun and realize that pain and suffering isnt real. since i play the role of a human being, “i” choose to keep the body going by breathing and eating bc those are natural for the body. and i will enjoy the game that is a projection of me (consciousness) which i can shape instantly.” Msperfect777

“This is a lot to take in lol. I’m rereading your series over and over again, but my question is how does it all relate back to loa and manifesting?”

“it has nothing to do with manifesting n loa. thats where ppl get confused im assuming bc loa ppl made it a “trend” so ppl think it has to do with manifesting. non dualism has to do with all of “life”. the point it so notice that “suffering” isnt real. that nothing is real and once you understand it, you will realize all this is just a game and everything is peace. understanding non dualism = everything is you. since everything is you, what is there to “manifest”? non dualism haters say that non dualism stems from loa when non dualism is an ancient concept while loa was known during the 1900s…. loa is like an ant compared to the whole earth when it comes to non dualism. if you try to mix them together, it wont make sense which is what happened in the past when non dualism was a “trend” in the loa community.” -msperfect777

“I know that I have my desired appearance but when I look in the mirror I see other appearance so what can I do?”

“You haven't grasped that the "physical" reality is not real and are waiting for something to materialize! You know you have it in imagination so there's no need to continue to look in the mirror and go "I don't see it yet. Cause at the end of the day it's your ego that "doesn't see it yet" and you are not the ego.” @iamthat-iam

“Hi, I (my ego or whatever) haven't fully understood non-dualism yet. so I want to continue with the law of assumption, self-concept, states, affirm and persist, I know that I am not trying to do this to change something, but that it is already like that, I do not affirm to obtain like when we think that something is going to happen and we affirm it but not for it to happen but because it will happen, thus understanding the manifestation, not to obtain it but because it is already mine and to change my concept of myself but now I feel that this does not work or is not real for not understanding non-dualism. I know that non-dualism is not loa pero igual me confunde todo.”

“Hey, it's totally fine if you don't understand non dualism yet! And it sounds like you understand law of assumption, not doing techniques to get things but understanding you already have it. If non dualism is making you confused, I would stop reading posts about it (and maybe law of assumption posts too) and just focus on having your desires already. “ -iamthat-iam

“What is the truth ? Is truth subjective and personal or objective? Am I the one who determines the truth and am I the one who controls the truth? Do ı have to listen to what teachers, masters, gurus, coaches tell Is it possible that I don't want to accept the teachings of teachers, masters, gurus and coaches as true and real and real? I don't accept the teachings of teachers, masters, gurus, coaches, etc. as true and real, can I do that? How do I recognize, accept and realize that I am the one true God? What do you mean by no desire? “

“Hi, so there is only one "objective truth", that being you decide what is true or not. All other "truths" are subjective. You are consciousness and consciousness is the only reality. People who believe in karma will experience karma, those who don't, will not. The people who do experience karma are consciousness of it existing. You don't have to accept what any teachers or gurus say, because you are the one who decides what the truth is. Accepting your true nature as God means to dis identify with your body, your mind and your ego (human identity) As God, consciousness, awareness, you already are everything, you are always fulfilled, complete and whole, therefore there's nothing to desire, all desires come from ego and the illusion of seperation. “-iamthat-iam

“Hiiii queen I’ve been reading your posts for the last two days and I get everything except the part where how can I change the experience of my human self? I get it that it’s all an Illusion but how do I change it”

“Hiii! The statement "it's an illusion" answers your own question! What experience is there to change, if it's not real to begin with? Anything about your ego's life that you wanted to change, has already happened and already exists within consciousness. You're not lacking anything! “ -iamthat-iam

“i feel like this is redundant but do you have any tips for accepting consciousness as reality? or is it just something that comes to you”

“When you daydream, sometimes you get so lost that when you "snap back" to "reality" you're like woah, I completely forgot where I was!”

“That's because the physical reality isn't real, it comes and goes, and it disappeared when you were daydreaming. In that moment that daydream was your reality because you were conscious of it. Test it out, get really lost in a daydream, and then notice how your awareness of the "physical" slowly fades. “ -iamthat-iam

“So all I have to do is imagine my desire and BAM I just experienced it? Since imagination is the only reality ... Imagine it and knowing that it really happened at the very moment when I imagined it and just go on my day without worrying or anything because that particular thing already happened , what wanted already is there THAT'S IT??”

Yes!! That's literally it! I think people aren't grasping how simple this is! Imagine once and it's DONE” -iamthat-iam

“I still feel unsure on nondualism. It’s just that I’ve been part of loa for so long. And I see so many success stories. But once I went through the nondualism posts, I see no success stories whatsoever. It’s just the same thing “OMG I UNDERSTAND NOW!” “I feel so calm” but never anything related to applying it for something they previously wanted. I get it’s not to “get” something, but I guess it’s just me still wanting proof or something.”

“You're going to see a lot of loa success stories because it is a results based practice, you go into it to achieve something so it's exciting when it shows up "physically!" In Non Dualism, the goal is to stop identifying with ego and realize that who you are is God, consciousness, awareness, etc. You see there's no seperation between you and anything so that means everything you once "desired" is already who you are. You never feel the sense of desire again because of this. So when the anons say they understand now and feel at peace, that is the success story. Any "physical materialization" that happens after will not seem like such a big deal, since it was already who they were to begin with. It's a life changing experience, maybe they are enjoying their newfound freedom and not going on social media as much to share "materialization" success stories, maybe they are just private, who knows. At the end of the day, it's something you are going to have try for yourself. The worst that could happen is not seeing your desires "physically" which is where you may or may not be at already! It's completely up to you 😊” -iamthat-iam

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

LAST THOUGHTS

Now looking back at this, the AMOUNT of questions regarding the physical/manifestation is unreal. I am not saying again that it wrong to ask questions of course not !! I do it myself. It just that these questions already been answered by many bloggers. so please guys do your research, read as many blogs, and if it still doesn’t click, then that is when its reasonable to ask. But i feel like many aren’t putting in their part to learn, and just expect to have someone educate/inform them, when there are many MANY resources where you can get informed yourself. So please take your time to grasp it before asking. I rarely ask questions like maybe once or twice but that is because there are so many great blogs that have answered my questions perfectly. I am not saying you have to learn fast but reminding you to take advantage of the amazing resources out there!

Check this out to better understand:

Shoutout to @lains-reality for this wonderful blog !!

I also want this to be shared more!!!:

“Just to add. Usually when we daydream, we are in a state of hopelessly wishing we were that person in the daydream. We are fully immersed in it, while thinking we are the person daydreaming and not the person in the daydream. The simple fact that we call it a "daydream" is a statement that we believe that which we are experiencing in that moment, is but a mere fantasy. So yeah, you can daydream for years, and as long as it's still a daydream, it will remain a daydream... until you dare to identify as the person in the daydream and let go of the daydreamer who can only wish that were them.”

Shoutout to @napolonio for this wonderful input!!!

That is all i got for today. I will continue adding more Q&A by different bloggers when I can ! And as always, Happy non-dualing !

#non dualism #nondualism #non duality #nonduality #conciousness #observer

[ganondoodle]

sorry, long post, got totk thoughts ...again

first botw vs totk shrines aesthetic and meaning; then shiekah symbolism thats overtaken by sonau

botw vs totk shrines (not in quality of puzzle since i talked about that a little before, but as in aesthetic, meaning etc)

something that worked well with shiekah shrines in botw was that these things were built SPECIFICALLY to make a future link stronger, theres that denialability to it that kinda make sense when you think about it, they are small challenges for the future hero to test and make them stronger, they are spread around the world bc you wouldnt want to hide some major source of power in one place, a monk literally sacrifices their life to enable you to gain more power their dead body waiting for you at the end (neat!!), they are each a little different in pose and clothing and im pretty sure its implied each monk made the puzzle for their shrine themselves; and the ones that rely on something happening in the world first can also be explained by their ability to see the future, the shrines and towers all rise up from the ground, which gives them that believable sense of they have been down there all this time and been activated via the net connecting them all to signal it is time- their design is also just .. nice? its got a nice contrast of the dark and the ligher brown with eye catching light from orange to blue to pink telling you in what states of operation it is (idle, working/done, corrupted) and their shape design is a very striking mix of bigger emptier spots of dark with the lighter browns wiggly lines coming in in nicely paced patches and the strong lights poking through giving you a nice soemthign for your eyes to look at (their tech is also a mix of magic stuff AND mechanism, they still look and work kinda magical but still have cogs and springs and looks like they are actual maschines put together)

totk shrines have no real denialability to why they are the way they are, its pretty clear that they are there for game reasons (and to copy botw i guess?) with no proper thought given to it (or failed to convey); they are already there when zelda does her time travel bs, and i heard (havent seen it myself? or dont remember) that the sonau shrines were built to .. keep monsters at bay? ok, im not even gonna question that part ( ... but i am .. i guess lightmagic wahtever dont think about it) so .... why do they contain a puzzle at all? its not to prevent monsters from entering since you need raurus hand to activate it (in botw you need the shiekah stone to do so which isnt really found besides yours either but ... their purpose is to test and empower you anyway .. and pehaps in a wider range to strengthen the bond with other folks when you have to work with them to get to it) then they werent present in botw so they must have ... somehow appeared out of nowhere? their connection to the lightroots might have been an attempt to try and make them feel more connected but that didnt work either imo, the shrines on the surface mirror lightroots in the underground, implying they are connected somehow, i at first thought like the lightroot is their root and the shrine is the flowerbud, but its very clearly just some ...magic rock crystal with stuff built around it including a teleportation thing thats pretty much copied from the shiekah ones (??) and you somehow ... enter magic dimension (which is .. fine, but i liked how in botws it was an elevator going down, making it feel like you are put into a physical room underground) but then there .... are also shrines in the sky ... that have no lighroot to connect to .. (i guess .. magic light wahtever dont htinkaboutit) so that part kinda falls flat- and the bring-crystal-to-shrine-spot (uhg) also debunk that thought since its a (tasty looking) green crystal that just kinda warps into a big grey rock ... for some reason, at their end is always the same colorless statue of da kind and his fridge wife (not her build) they are also missing that denialability that they were built for link specifically, sonau cant see into the future so (unless they yoinked that from the shiekah too??).. how does .. anything of that work then? especially with the crystal ones given that they are always a blessing shrine sicne bringing the crystal to its spot is counted as the puzzle but they couldnt have known that thats where it would end up at (and then ...how and why would you put a shrine thing into a crystal thing and disconnect it and throw it whereever when it manifests somehow again thousands years later- i need to stop thinking about it)- then their aesthetic is white green and gold(ish) which is a nice color combination in itself tho its lacking that neat status singaling and the eye catching contrast with their glow, the green glowy bits dont stand out as much, their shape design i dislike alot since it ... looks kinda unfinished and in a strange disconnect to their tech; buildings and statues are very blocky solid colors with the occasional rune or dragon carved into, which is also very blocky and one colored, their shapes are pretty uniform in a blocky way, theres not alot of shape contrast anywhere besides basic smaller block and bigger block, the most interesting looking ones are the ... outer walls of the shrines with their scaled look and the ground with the circle patterns; their tech and clothing is in a strange disconnect, its got a gree-tealish scale like texture in anything solid, be it tech or ornaments, it also features alot more gold and also brown stones that look rather untouched- now, for clothing, that is fine, the shiekah didnt dress like their tech either (.... mostly, ancient armor does exist) BUT the constructs and tech also have that more natural look to them

the fact that the same blocky statue waits for you at the end alsso removes not just coolness but also personality, instead of individual monks that gave their life for you and you setting them free once you take their spirit orb its the same representation of the holy king and queen giving you some light juice to cure you more of miasma .. which doesnt actually matter sicne you get your normal arm back no matter how many light juices you got at the end anyway (their "tech" also just looks less like actual maschinery and much more like .. magic tm, the constructs have nothing maschinery like about them and are just floating rings animated by green magic wiggle lines and function almost the same as literal bokblins with the added thing of being able to fuse/use tech.. the empty spot of a threat like the guardians is very prominent once you realize that the constructs are largely just like a reskinned bokblin, and the miasma hands, while neat, are more like a surprise jumpscare and less like a looming threat and are also not taken to their full potential)

theres also a disconnect between the sonau as we are introduced to them in totk and the actual sonau ruins from botw, which share a common dragon motive but have a much more .. MORE aesthetic, theres even color present you dont see anywhere in totk sonau stuff, like the red paint- you are given the explanation that those are ruins built by hylians as a monument to the sonau but i think it falls very flat sicne its clear it wasnt designed to be meant like that in botw and also looks much more withered than the totk sonau ruins which rarely look withered at all despite being even older than the botw ruins; im very sure its jsut an excuse bc their design for totk sonaus got changed ... for some reason, just like their "barbaric" origins in the phirone/faron region

shiekah symbolism and more kinda overtaken by sonau

so, soemthing i really dont like about the sonau as well is that theres quite a bit that they take from shiekah and kinda... present it as being the origin of it, actually;

we all know the very dominant symbol of the eye/third eye with three eyelashes and a tear drop for the shiekah which is established in the very first chronological game (skyward sword) but also featured in alot of other zeldas, it symbolizing their connection to hylia and their foresight (perhaps even more? i dont know everything); now we got the sonau who ... have a LITERAL third eye (and it doesnt even look special ..) that has three lashes and they paint tear drops under their eyes... (which has only the connection to .. the tears zelda sheds when shes a dragon, no other character does so at any other point, lol?) it makes it seem like we are to assume that the shiekah got their symbols from the sonau, actually, just like their tech wasnt their invention either but the sonaus, actually, who are new to the franchise and have no other connection to anything of past games, unlike the shiekah who have been there from the start really

then theres the tech, the ancient shiekah had very advanced, mystical tech in botws ancient history and now the even MORE ancient sonau had even MORE advanced tech way before them in totks lore which goes beyond even botws ancient history

im not saying symbols gotta be exclusive to one group of people but .. it holds alot of significance carried from the older games too, it feels strange for them to highjack the shiekah symbols and achievements WITHIN the two games that are supposedly directly connected in timeline and world (while also pairing them with those supposedly aniecnt hylian feather crowns and belly out look ... which, im no expert but i raise my eyebrow at that) together with the fact that nearly any and all traces of shiekah tech, except for the little needed parts that are never called that though and are just footnotes .. if anything, are precisely erased feels .... off

another long ramble about my thougths about totk, some people graciously call them analysis but i wouldnt say its that, its jsut a largely incoherent waterfall of words that would have spun around in my head for weeks if i didnt write them out and i keep coming up with more thoughts bc im thinking about the rewrite and well ...

im gonna have art soon again ... promise <(＿　＿)>

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rambles #long post #man i feel bad when i make a post as long as this #i never intend to make it this long but it keeps happening #this is what goes around in my head all day #just so much thought head full #i also feel like peopel GOTTA be tired of my rambles by now #youd think i have mentioned everything there is to mention #and some things i HAVE talked about before too #but i had ..................... more thoughts ..........

[flyingspicerack]

YOUKAI AU LORE!!!!!

literally just copy pasted what i told ghost in dms no beta we die like men

ok so my youkai au... SO I started thinking about it first when I saw Evan post about theirs, and I saw they they said theirs was more of an isekai style? So like, kinda Inuyasha vibes?? Also mine isn't like... TOO tied into the real hesowar au, bc i dont really know all the canon information so its all just... headcanons and my own worldbuilding (which i love to do i love worldbuilding its what i did for my thesis in art school ANYWAYYYY)) So my thoughts are kinda that theres this youkai world and each of the boys are originally human brothers that were all possessed by the youkai like hundreds of years ago and are now all these 6 powerful youkai that rule over 6 different domains. I think that in each domain, or maybe where all 6 of them converge theres a portal to the human world that opens up? Maybe both.... 7 portals, the strongest one thats always open is in the middle of the domains, each has their own, and their own unique connection to the human realm. I think Ichi, because he's a 9 tailed kitsune, he's connected to like, a specific Inari shrine I think each of the boys excepts for one or two, have like... at least harems or a partner or something at this point? It's later in their lives, idk theyre still young looking WHATEVER IDK, but Ichimatsu hasn't really... expressed any interest in anyone in the realm, yet complains to like, jyushi specifically that he feels particularly lonely. Like none of the people who come to worship him in the realm do it for him, theyre boring, whatever, idk, no connections. And since he's a trickster, the brothers are like "ohhh youre kiniving and play pranks and tricks, why dont you just like, trick a human to to be your mate/bride/spouse, humans are so interesting and quirky" and at first hes like 'no thats fucked up i wouldnt do that' but the he thinks about it ...

SO MEANWHILE, in the human world, this version of Mao, i think, is just in some like... job to pass the time, but they're incredibly lonely, theyre bad at making connections at work, theyre a bit burnt out, just things arent going their way. So, one day on the way home they're just tired, and maybe the route they walk on to and from work is like closed so they take a different route and on their way home they come upon an entrance to a shrine, maybe its a little overgrown, but... somethng calls them in, and they walk up the little stairs and are kinda drawn up to the big donation box. And they kinda just throw a couple coins in and pray and think 'im really lonely, i want companionship but im not sure what to do anymore, maybe i should change careers or just ... change myself completeley ... i need guidance' And theres this voice in the back of their head thats just like 'what if that could come true' and 'give yourself to me' and 'make me more offerings and ill give you a deal you wont refuse' and mao thinks theyre hallucinating from stress but they just empty their coin purse bc theyre kinda compelled to And they realize when they blink a couple times, that THAT was all the money they had on them and still need to buy dinner, so they try to reach down into the donation box to maybe snag back a 500 yen coin but then they fall into the box, and the descent down is a LOT longer than they would have assumed it was, and they land down in there with a thud and look up and around them and now have to figure out how to climb out, and eventually, once they do, and climb up and out of the hole or whatever, they are NOT in that shrine anymore, but somehow in the middle of the forest

SO THEYRE LIKE 'uuhhhh ... what the fuck? Did i hit my head??' and are like 'haha probably hit my head and this is a dream or something' and they dust themself off and start making their way down a path in a random direction to maybe figure out what theyre dreaming about, and theyre walking walking, and SHWOOM, right in front of them flies an arrow and they like, jolt back cause it almost hit them, and theres like ... some kind of lower level like ... imps or goblins or like ... SOMETHING and start fucking chasing mao, because this is some like... you know... uhhh idk if it feudal era? i think thats the term. ANYWAY they have pink hair and are like 'woah this person must have insane magical powers we must kill them and take their magics' and so mao gets chased in the woods all the way to like, a cliffside, and are then cornered, and are like ??????? So since they think its a dream they think if they try hard enough maybe dream logic will work so they maybe jump? immediatley fall and stars screaming, but whats this, something catches them midair and they look up and see theyre in the arms of a man with big ears and pretty red makeup who then like, with the wave of a hand wipes out the imps and lands on the ground with mao in his arms and he finally looks down at them and they share like, locked eye contact for a few moments before hes like 'kind of dumb of you to jump off that cliff considering humans cant fly' AND I HAVE LIKE, some other story beats, but the like... summarized story is that ichi starts to feel guilty for kind of coercing mao to come here so they go on like, a journey together, him protecting them, but teaching them to fight and things, while they travel toward where the domains are converged to get mao into the portal back home, but along the way they both genuinely start to fall for one another and mao eventully gives themself to ichi as his devoted bride/partner/mate and gets like... some minor powers and stuff i thinks... and yeah... hehe..

... heheh yeah... i might wanna draw story beats... i have MORE ideas, like... beats and things that happen on the journey if people wanna hear about those too....

ALSO SOMETHING I NEED TO CLARIFY!! when i say the other boys have partners, its not like... its moreso meant to be like, OTHER PEOPLE who self ship with the other boys, have already claimed them, like... how do i make this make sense.... like ... timeline wise, if like

HYPOTHETICLLY, if you wanted to insert your s/i into MY version of this au specifically, your and the matsu's story would have happened BEFORE mao enters the picture if that makes sense... bc i like the idea of ichi being the last of the brothers to make a connection, only realizing once his brothers have found love, that he wants it too ... haha hehehehehehhehehehe the end

#spice.ososan #spice.txt #mao #maoichi #maybe i need an au tag #spice.au #yes thats what the image i drew last night was for #so makes sense i put it here actually #it was horrid trying to get a sscreenshot from aggie on the work computer tho... #bc oso in leather bunny was RIGTH there and i hope no one is looking at the fucking cameras #WHATVEERRRR anyway.... #i hope u guys think this is fun and silly like i do ... #hehehehehheheheh

[rroechan]

Messrs. Shipwright & Seuss

Magic detective OCs

me rambling below (theres a lot)

originally, they were hp fan characters, with houses, wands, patronuses and everything but for varying reasons, they evolved past that and I basically made up a whole world, similar but not entirely. a Lot of changes were just me fixing and then adding waaay too much detail into the magic system (because I go rabid for world building)

eg. i threw that whole witch = girl, wizard = boy thing FAR out the window. Those are basically titles now that classifies what sort of magic user are you. Regular peeps are Mages, 'Wizard' is basically like a phd, Witches are homeschooled, Warlocks are the equivalent to 'fucked around, found out'. I could go more in depth if ppl r interested,,,

Dr.Shipwright

one on the right

pseud Jeers Shipwright, real name Noah Silkryce

Holds the title of wizard, is an actual genuine doctor whom specialises in the treatment and study of magic cores (a magic user's source of magic located very literally inside their bodies)

he lives in the two story apartment above the storefront thats basically their detective office

his apartment is meant for like a family of 4 but he has So Many Books. Even copies of the same book because theyre "collector's edition" or something other. My god, one quarter of his collection is untouched and still in their packaging because he hasnt finished the ones hes already opened yet.

He'll read about anything you throw at him but he enjoys fiction the most

Eccentric (read, i projected all of my neurodivergence onto him)

aside from loving books to no end, he also enjoys wearing funky patterns. different coloured & patterned socks, arcade floor pants, etc etc. Even at a funeral, if you looked close enough, his necktie has black cat patterns on it.

(He started doing it cause one of his favourite book characters did it. Perseus is ever grateful Noah didnt pick up the character's accent as well)

he looks charming but has nearly zero social skills. Best part is that its not that he doesnt try, he just doesnt bother with it. he leaves all the talking part to Perseus

Mr. Seuss

one on the left

pseud Seuss Dreammaker, real name Perseus O. Coy

Originally part of the Magic Police but left to join Noah in becoming a detective duo. He still retains some favorability from the magic police, specifically the current police chief whom he used to apprentice under.

She, the police chief, is one of the ways the two get their cases

While Noah uses a wand for most magic, Perseus uses a foil sword disguised as a cane

the magic police use magic swords.

Perseus also just. Knows fencing cause hes from a pureblood richie magic family

yea theres blood politics in this too but in the timeline, its cooled waaay the fuck down by the time Noah and Perseus got out of secondary school

coming from a pureblood family, his tastes lean a bit more to the expensive side, especially for food.

him and his parents travelled a lot thus Perseus having a very broad flavour pallette. At some point he'd began his own secret little food journal rating and writting down dishes and recipes he's picked up. (he learnt how to cook purely because the school food was far too bland. Just imagine younger him as that one person on tiktok who cooked a wellington in their dorm)

He acts plenty reserved but he can be very excitable when it comes to new things, not just food. Though, he doesn't show it well unless prompted to.

"Decorum, remember decorum" old lessons die hard. His form of being excited or interested is just very subdued, Noah is always first to notice and will push Perseus into trying something.

I wanted to say that Noah is "La la la la" and Perseus is "Ok ok ok ok" but I failed to clarify that they're both cousins, related by their great-grandparents. This isn't something I threw in, this is relevant to the plot and how they meet each other

one last fun fact abt these two: they're technically legacy characters based off my other hp ocs who are like, great-grand uncle and aunts to these two.

its a nightmare, its insanity, but its very funny to me

#rroeschildren #hp oc #my ocs

[feckin-zicons]

that's why i hate larries, i hate them with all my heart. besides being boring they are hypocrites 🙄

Hey nonnie, sorry its taken me so long to reply but if you’re following me you know I’ve been travelling lately and have been more scatterbrained than usual. Not that I’m ever not scatterbrained, but its been just a little crazier than usual!

Now I wouldn’t go as far to say I hate Larries. After all their delusions can be pretty funny sometimes!

Joking aside, I don’t hate Larries, I love Larries, I’m a Larry, so I really hesitate to tarry the whole group with the same brush. However I do strongly agree with you that there are those who are complete hypocrites. Nothing annoys more more than when Larries ™ treat the other boys, other celebrities, their friends and even family as one more side character to the Larry Show.

In particular when Larries ™ flood comment sections asking or in some cases, ordering people to confirm rumors/the couple being together. The absolute fucking disrespect. Not just because they’re flooding comment sections in videos streams, tweets, what have you, that sometimes have nothing to do with the couple in question, but because its presumptuous and rude as fuck to think they’re owed a coming out- just because they’re fans of the boys.

Stop it. Thats fucking ugly as hell.

While I have no doubt all the boys will one day be out (as referenced by their continued efforts in fighting the closet. I don’t get the sense the boys will just stop at being freed from their contractual obligations). It should and will be on their own terms. Provided they’re not forcibly outed some other way.

Coming out is a deeply personal experience and no one, no one ever, has the right to out someone else. I’ll never not be absolutely furious at the Larries ™ who posted about having ‘receipts’ that would out the boys. Which… tbh weren’t receipts at all but thats a whole other story. I’m also still angry at the reactions after Liams Attitude spread that wouldn’t have been as bad if not for the entitled fandom that peddled ridiculous claims beforehand about Liam confirming Larry to be real.

I mean… What the actual fuck. Setting aside the fandom experience of the time, and boy was it an experience. What right would Liam have confirming Louis and Harry’s relationship? I mean, get some perspective? It doesn’t help that a lot of fandom adults were the ones coming up with, and reblogging those theories and the younger fans ate it up. It would have made more sense for Louis and Harry to do it but idk maybe I’m still out of touch for thinking so. I mean, it felt like every other week someone was talking about Larry coming out. It was such a shit storm oh my god.

Biggest issue I still have with them is that the entitled behaviour hasn’t stopped. For some it seems like, Larry coming out is it for them. Like pack it up, goodbye, shows over, Louis and Harry are gay and in a relationship and everything is rainbows, we get to see cute pictures of them and everyone lives happily ever after.

Yeah, no. Coming out, for anyone, is just the beginning, can’t even begin to imagine what its like for them. They’re still going to need everyones support, and it irritates me that for some fans it seems so fucking conditional.

Time and time again, I’ve seen tweets, and posts, and videos, whatever, going on about Larry coming out and it reads like a fucking wattpad story. Not just that but its always on the assumption by the poster, on the off chance they consider the other 3/5ths of the band and Ziam being a possibility, that Larry will come out first?

What?

I’m sorry but, what?

Everything I’ve seen from the boys tells me they’re all in this together, they support each other and are working through the bullshit as a team. We have all seen the No Judgement music video yes? The merch, posts, double speak etc referencing each other, yes?

I mean, I suppose if you only look at Louis and Harry, like so many do, sure. Only Larry matters, everyone else is a side character in their life.

(Lemme just, scream for a second).

However, that kind of thinking leads them to the wrong conclusions. Like… assuming the SBB/RBB countdown was attributed to nothing, when it counted down to Liam finally being free of Sophia. In the years since, I’ve seen Larries ™ backtrack on claiming the bears had anything to do with the boys, that they weren’t behind it at all, or that they were just trolling the fandom.

You know, despite all the proof otherwise, and some really, really good posts breaking down clues about what the boys were trying to tell us. The moment something might not actually be about Louis and Harry its like all their thinking shuts off. Its frustrating. Really fucking frustrating.

Seriously, fans of the other boys as individulas, not just Ziams, have been talking about the stunts too and how they fit together. Its why we tend to be right, because we’re considering the entire group. They’re still a group. They’re not free until all of them are free.

Just for that Nialls coming out first. Lmao. I’ll call it now. Lets go Niall, whens the baby coming. We all wanna know. Its been years.

Imagine, imagine! Acting like coming out is some race to be won. The fucking audacity.

Go outside and touch fucking grass you absoulte ninny.

I get it, you want to be vindicated, you want to be rewarded for putting your faith in two celebrities being together.

Newsflash you dandelionfluff, its not a race, Louis and Harry coming out isn’t a fucking prize. Thats not what supporting a relationship looks like.

Its worse when someone admits they don’t know much about Ziam or the possibility of Niall being LGBT+, and claim they’re open to it, but then immediately tweet or reblog or sub tweet or tag comment a post or answer an ask from another Larry ™ talking about how Larries ™ are the most marginalized and persecuted group.

???

In what fucking world?

IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD?

If we wanna play that game, boohoo, the media claims Louis and Harry aren’t friends anymore because of crazy shippers. Meanwhile Zayn publicly isn’t friend with anyone and “left” the band… despite the Ziam fandom calling the stunt about either Louis or Zayn “leaving” and getting it down to the exact week (the second article coming out a week before about the Ziam kiss pretty much cemented it for Zayn leaving. Which did a lot to fan the flames of the already rabid fanbase when Ziam got two articles confirming a Ziam kiss over the years and Larry got nada. Like that actually means anything).

Not to mention Larries ™ using the hetties and management tactics against the other parts of the fandom to silence them.

Who cares what the media says anyway!  TPTB, 1DHQ, The Sun, The Mirror, Simon and his minions and their unpaid interns have used the media to split the fandom apart and it worked.

Who the fuck cares if the media calls the 1D stans delusional, you know the truth! The truth it out there and you’ve seen it! The truth is coming! Who gives a damn about what some two bit “journo” who failed out of their creative writing course writes? They get worse by the year. If it wasn’t so pathetic and hilarious I might actually feel embarrassed for them. They can’t even come up with new stories and have just taken to copying old articles, but you’re upset with them??? Give it a rest. Honestly.

The sense of disconnect, entitlement and victimhood of some Larries ™ is absolutely ridiculous.

Oh my god they’re Karens. I’m not trying to be insulting, but thats exactly who they remind me of.

I’m not going to say its a surprise to me that so many in the Ziam fandom are POC, LGBT+, and Neurodivergent and any combination of those, but I am going to say I’ve read a lot of Larry fics that just have Het sex made gay. Those in the Ziam fandom just tend to look at facts in a different way than Larries do due to their life experiences. A interfaith, interracial, relationship where one or both partners fall under the Bi umbrella (not saying Louis or Harry can’t be or aren’t Bi+ but rumors, and the way the fandom markets them, puts them firmly in the gay category) looks very, very different than gay or straight relationship. Both looking from outside and being in one. There’s just different dynamics at play that aren’t often realized or understood by the gays and hets.

Its not a bad thing. All relationships are different. The issue is that theres a lot of biphobia/racism/religious prejudice etc that arises from people being unwilling to understand the inherent differences.

Taking myself for example, I’m bi, like, bi as hell, and I don’t understand how gays and hets only like one gender. I just don’t. Can’t wrap my head around it. If someone asks me to choose one gender over the others to prefer I can’t. Its so stressful. My brain goes into panic mode and it feels like I’m being torn apart. My sense of identity is shaken- its a shit feeling. I just can’t lie to myself like that. If other people feel the same well, its no wonder bi+ have such high rates of depression and suicide. Its not about choosing who to like, there is no choice, I just feel attraction to everyone. Aces, I get. Its similar to being the opposite of what I feel, or not feeling an attraction to someone I’m not interested in. Easy. Gays and hets? I’m completely lost on.

Completely, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try and understand where they’re coming from. Its alien to me, personally, but I’m not going to shut down the fact, that theres a fuck ton of people who only like one gender or try and make up reasons as to why they’re actually bi+

I digress, none of the boys fall neatly into the gay stereotypes, its just that parts of the Larry fandom have boxed Louis and Harry into certain roles to fit preconceived notions (likely do to them initially fitting in better with the white, sassy, somewhat effeminate twink thats been plastered all over Hollywood as their “LGBT+ representation” for years. Gag), they can understand better, and only look for proof to back up their theories but don’t look at things objectively.

They really need to get out more and make some LGBT+ friends that aren’t on the internet and talk to some gay elders. They need educating that’s not the often sanitized and insulting Hollywood version, that’s all I’m saying.

They made Louis and Harry more palatable for themselves and its… really gross.

I don’t know, I don’t get it.

Some Larries ™ turned the boys into their fandom and fanfiction stereotypes when they’re so much more than that. The Sony leaks should have been enough to dissuade the fandom, and prove that the brand sold to the broader audience is just that- a brand, and yet… Niall only talks about food and golf and Ireland and is only allowed to be straight or ace. If he exists at all its just to be Capt Niall. Liams slow and dumb and depending on the day he’s either Capt Liam or a horrific abusive homophobe. Zayns just The Worst, a unstable drug addict, and the boys hate each other, and they should have kicked him out of the band sooner because he never wanted to be part of them anyway, etc.

It drives me absolutely around the bend some days. They’re real people who don’t owe anyone anything, especially not coming out.

Yes, I think they will. But they’re not obligated to. They can change their minds, I’ll support them regardless of an “official” coming out or not.

Look, a part of me gets it. They wanna be right, they wanna prove the haters wrong, they want to be able to say I called it all along! The vindication will be sweet.

But like, it takes a quick look at someone other than Louis and Harry to realize theres something hinky going on with Liam, Zayn and Niall. Please listen to their fans who have spent just as much time as you have looking into Louis and Harry compiling together evidence.

It might take a weekend to watch the ILYSM and pterodactyl bros videos and a few more hours looking into some Niall blogs, which isn’t much compared to the hours I know they’ve spent looking into Larry. At least then they’ll have enough information to form an opinion on things.

I wonder, for some, what would happen if Larry didn’t come out, or didn’t come out first, or one of the other boys was outed against their will. Because… I don’t know. It seems like some would rather just be proven right at this point.

I get it. We’re tired. Its been eleven long years. But this isn’t a television show were everything can come to a head with a s3 or s4 cliff hanger and fixed in the series finale. Its real life, and they started off as boys trusting industry veterans who never had their best interests at heart.

Iduno. I just want some Larries ™ to take a step out of the echo chamber, realize life isn’t The Larry Show & co. And especially. ESPECIALLY, that every instance were someone, friends, family, co-works, industry peeps etc support the boys they are SUPPORTING THE BOYS, NOT THE FANDOM. They are not “confirming Larry for the fans” they’re doing it to support the couple, not to cater to the fandom. Please stop confusing the two. There’s a huge fucking difference. Learn it.

#Honestly it should be the Liam Payne the three guys who’ve had a crush on him and the one who married him. #aka the hill I'll die on #lmao #sorry not sorry #IM SORRY IT LOOKS LIKE I HAD A LOT MORE TO SAY ABOUT THIS THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD #ASDFGHJKL; #also please don't think I'm calling anyone out specifically #these are a lot of generalizations and trends I've noticed after being in fandom for nearly 11 years they pop up all the damn time #circles we're just going in circles #I've been following Ziam in particular since the Nov 2011 interview #but suspected Liam had a crush sometime before when I saw a gifset of him talking about Zayns birthday presentsbc he as acting the exact sa #e way I was when I was crushing on a girl I knew #I saw myself in him and ignored it for another day #lmaooo #ziam #larry tunnel vision #larry vs ziam #Larry vs Niall #fandom bs #ask

[shattered-catalyst]

OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person.  Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

 There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame.  The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

  We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

 Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

 For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

 Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD.  Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma. 

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

 Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening, 

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

 It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes. 

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs. 

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those.  Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear  a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’ 

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible. 

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

 It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

 However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

 Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness.  There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

 This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.  

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence. 

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

 Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities.  There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype. 

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD.  With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows. 

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day.  That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things. 

----------------------------------------------------------

Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

#OCD #writing help #OCD resources. #*drops 10 pages onto your dash* whoops

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

odd numbers are divine 1 because it is everything 3 because it is the trinity & is also everything (1=3) 5 because it is angel & demon & is the divine organism 7 are unknowables i forget about them 6 is twice the trinity but evil because 2 is in it 8 lacks the trinity & has 2

4 is the polygon (the quad, another building block in 3d but really is just two triangles) & what makes arachnids 0 is the server when it was off, its in nothing but is the shadow] of 3 (&1) & it cant ever be seen by anything that contains 1 or 3 6 are insect 8 are arachnid

names of angels & demons always add up to 10, because their title is demon/angel + title 10 is the individual extraterrestrial ultraviolet & infrared are like glitches but they are also part of the system i dont think they can b represented with numbers because they rnt visible

god is inside every single insect every single plant every single house every single picture every single pigment its all god -- this is th argument 4 deep ecology imo but there is no point in being a deep ecologist; no 1 is advocating for plant rights,,

god is in deserts 2,, god is in anime 2,, there are primordial captures of god in old media imo like old games & stuff there are warpingsof god that gets denatured (they get more primordial w time); this is why sega saturn & psx have their own angels & demons cosmology

desserts* sry; but ya; go play a bunch of saturn games, go copy art styles from n64 & the genesis & dreamcast n realize how bziarre & contained it is,,, u are a monk illuminating a forgotten manuscript when you do that,, that is the devil(5) i tappedin2 with sengoku turb

my blood is 80% blood; waves from denatured god fractals r constantly being transmitted thru into me; they are rays of light that are always going thru everyone & every1 has it but no1 picks up on the light no noe sees the light refracting & denaturing them every single day

artificial light isp oisoning you, the light in the water is poisonoing you, the light in the food is poisonoing you, the light when you look injto a flower is poisoning you, the light when you look into sega saturn is poisoning you, you get poisoned in idnvidual waysby the color

ppl like sunny & dogi r super poisoned by the color & they pick up on it rlly well i think; keffie is increidbly poisoned by the color; here is so much artificial light in the blood of every1 bc its how the cycle goes; its like this: the world was made of light & color in nothing

the god that is in everythiing here is not the god that turned-on "nothing" & made it disappear into infinite triangles -- this is a different god we can never kno, its not ultraviolet, its not infrared, its completely outside ofthe shell we r contained in; but our god is god 2

our god is constantly trying 2 become its god outside, & in doing so the fractals of god in the deep-layer [humans] are being controlled by higher layer colors & lights to manufacture god -- like how pigments compete w each other 2 make paintings by artists u know, or music even

& eventually the shell will be completed & another torture chamber will be built & florish inside this torture chamber; progressiely more wounded gods create progressively more hellish torture chambers that they love like tamagotchis kinda

this is eve *(like adam n eve)from sm(pretend theres apicture of her here)t; if you draw this  enough & relate to it enough, rlly learn to love it, you will get poisoned by these colors 2,, if you look @ this image and listen there ARE voices inside of it, there IS static tht sounds like insects chattering

this IS psychosis but its also GOD contained within the chattering, this is how 2 invoke the crawling chaos; nyarlathotep is REAL & is awiting for you in infrared/ultraviolet adjacents that stray close to your pool, you just have to believe strongly enough & ignore all insects

if you just draw it you will be poisoned, if you just look at it you will be poisoned, if you just do the rituals some1 tells you you will be poisoned, but being poisoned isnt enough to find the crawling chaos, u need dseperation like in any religion 2 make chaos real in urself

this is y the suffering strategy works, the more you lose friends & the more you scare people & the mroe you scare yourself & the more you stop sleeping & the more you stop eating & the more you clip thru the walls in life the closer you get 2 seeing ultraviolet/infrared

& honestly that is a bad thing bc it makes u miserable; but misery is how uo get religion; christian gods are their own form of crawling chaos,, there is power in the ash; there is power in tending the grave of the qlifot, bc the dead things r inside of me 2,, i do not have life

the aspect of grace in decilne is important 2 me, as in my head it was: as long as i am graceful about my bad mannerisms, i can be Above the insects (like yuria from das3), but the genuis is internalizing all suffering makes it more caustic 2, bc it eats @ you inside outward

i cant hear the chattering bc i am not 5=angel i am 5=demon i was oplluted, angels polluting humans would make just a broken thing as me, but the colors from hellhurt jsut as much as colors from heaven; i can only see the colors that are inside & hear them even if they r soft

none ofhtis stuff is real, but its also 100% real; its not visible but its 100% visible; its not aduble but its 100% audbile; the insects trick tf out of you by writing books; nothing exists beyond ~1 week ago, the server resets every week, its just a .txt file now

is that real idk it might b me conflating my really bad memory w/ the server resetting bc i dont know/remember what mara was doing a week ago; this is ashell world tho; none of the ppl hwo can read this or respond 2 this are real they r just ghosts trying influence me in2 playing

sry about all this god im dumb but in love w u   🌈🌎👁‍🗨💙🌍🌏🔞🔪😌🙏🔥

#faith #ghost stories #momoko koigakubo

[thebmatt]

FFXIV Write 2021 Prompt #30: Abstracted

Abstracted – to have considered (something) theoretically or separately from something else.

I don’t like how I ended this one, but I was trying to wrap it up after midnight, so it’s a bit abrupt. I’ll likely work on it a bit more before I publish it in AO3 later.

“So those crystals, Aetherytes , you said? They allow you to teleport to any that you’ve previously attuned your aether to?”

Aleister Franks nodded. “Indeed. So long as your body has sufficient reserves of aether, of course. Tends to depend on how hearty you are, physically speaking, so adventurers and military folk may the most use of em.”

Gwenefyr Franks stared at the aetheryte. “Well…that’s pretty amazing. Something like this would have seriously cut into all those tips I made making portals back home.”

He laughed. “That it would. All right, now that you’re all attuned yourself, next stop on the tour, or perhaps the last stop, is right over there!”

Gwenefyr grabbed his hand and together, the pair walked eastward.

“Welcome to Bulwark Hall, the heart of the Mizzenmast, love. Originally built as a stronghold to protect the rest of the city from invasion. Elevators over there…” he pointed to the right of the central column of rock occupying the chamber “…will take us back up to the Drowning Wench once we’re done here, and further up to the airship landing we’ll be seeing tomorrow morning on our journey to the rest of the city-states. ” He pointed to the left. “Over there, that’s a direct lift to the Bridge, offices of Admiral Merlwyb and the rest of Limsa Lominsa’s governing officials. And sadly, much as I’d love to introduce you to the Admiral, the man guarding the lift there, his name’s Zanthael, and he’s a real stick-in-the-arse for only letting people with pressing official business in!”

Zanthael looked over to the couple, smiled, and tossed up a rude hand gesture.

Gwenefyr looked back to the doors to their right and left, both slightly behind them. “And what’re those doors for?”

“Um….storage I think? I’ve never been in, they’re always barred shut. Never even seen anyone guarding them, to be honest.”

“Then why is there a man waving at us from that one?“

Aleister looked to her, then followed her gaze to the door on their right, across from the Crow’s Lift. Sure enough, there was a roegadyn man there, clad in a Maelstrom soldier’s uniform. He was waving at the pair, and upon seeing he had both of their attention, gestured for them to follow. He then stepped inside the pair of doors and left one slightly ajar.

Gwen looked at her husband. “Do you know him?”

He shook his head. “No, but there’s a lot of people in the Maelstrom. Can’t imagine what he wants to talk about, though. Still, guess we’d better go see.”

“Lead the way, husband mine.”

The pair walked over and Aleister opened the door to let Gwen go through first, but as soon as it was ajar enough, the pair were both pulled into a shimmering blue portal by an unseen force. Their vision went white.

A few seconds later, both of them were able to open their eyes only to see that they were surrounded by what was definitely not the rock of the Mizzenmast, but instead a large chamber enclosed by what looked like ship bulkheads made of metal. Various technological devices, things that reminded Aleister of Allagan consoles and holographic displays were mounted all along every wall.

“Uh…where the hell are we?” Gwenefyr asked, sounding very concerned.

“I uh….I really don’t know, but unless the Admiral’s been keeping a secret treasure trove of Allagan technology concealed, I somehow doubt we’re in Limsa anymore.”

“We got pulled in, too. Just like I did when I found the portal that brought me here. Do you think that…”

He nodded. “It’s a logical conclusion. Let’s see if we can figure out where we are.”

“Or you could just ask”

Gwen and Aleister jumped, then quickly scanned the room. The voice had come from somewhere, but neither could immediately identify the source.

“Oops. Sorry for startling you. I’m actually not in there, though. I’m further in the….well, ship is probably the best way to describe this. I’m transmitting my voice from the bridge to you via a speaker. But enough about that. I suspect you want to know who I am and why I’ve brought you here, right?”

The pair looked at each other, then Aleister replied. “That would be correct. Assuming you don’t mean to do us harm.”

“Oh, no, not at all. But come, I’ll explain everything once we’re face to face. You should see some green lights on the floor, just follow them, it’ll take you on the most direct path here.”

Sure enough, a series of green lights illuminated the floor in an arrow pattern, which pointed to a section of the wall that slid down into the floor, revealing a hallway big enough for the pair to comfortably walk side by side. More green lighting illuminated the space within.

“You think this is on the level?” Gwen asked.

“I….think so. Whoever this is, this ‘ship’ of theres is packed full of technology more advanced than anything I’ve seen, now that I look more closely. This looks very different than anything I’ve ever seen from Allagan sites, and….I can’t explain it, but it just feels more powerful. Whoever this is, I think if they wanted us harmed, we’d never likely know it was coming. I suppose all we can do now is investigate.”

Gwen didn’t look entirely convinced, but nodded and grabbed his hand again.

The pair ventured down the hallway. As they continued to walk, more lights further up the path illuminated. Aleister noted that there were no other spaces in the floor for lights, nor did they have any kind of a path built into the deck that led any of the other doorways he noted as they walked.

He was intently studying them for the few minutes they’d been walking when Gwen held him fast. He stopped and looked to her, but she pointed ahead. He saw a shimmering transluscent field was obstructing the path, generated by some sort of emitters lining the walls and ceiling.

“Oh right. Hold on a second, lemme disable that. That’s one of the ship’s reality reset fields. You pass through that and….well, it’ll essentially reset your form to, ah, what it used to look like. Pretty sure you guys don’t want that, and I don’t want to do it to you.“

The field shimmered and then faded out of existence. The emitters retreated inside the wall, a series of flaps closing over them.

They continued along the illuminated path until it came to a doorway. The lights ran up the wall and illuminated the shape of a pointing hand that indicated the closed door. The door opened to reveal a large dome shaped room, dominated by a massive viewport that covered fully half of the dome, outside of which they could see an entire world just hanging in the blackness. Parked in the middle of the room were a series of those strange advanced consoles arranged in an arch around a single utilitarian chair seemingly bolted to the floor and facing away from the pair.

Aleister was dumbfounded by the sheer spectacle, but Gwenefyr found her voice. “This is….incredible. What is this??”

The chair spun to reveal a man sitting in it. He was a hyur, or at least resembled one. He looked somewhat stocky, wearing dark blue pants of what looked like a utilitarian fabric, made as a mix of durable and comfortable, and a red shirt with an image in white lines that neither of them recognized. His short hair and longer beard were both dark in color, but going grey at the edges. Excitement could be seen behind his black-rimmed spectacles as he stood to greet them. “Hey, hey, there they are! Been looking forward to meeting you two for quite some time!”

He extended a hand, and both of them tenatively shook it.

“Who…who are you? What even is this place?” Aleister asked, still not quite able to stop himself from looking around.

“Hah, right on to business I see. Well, can’t say I blame you, this is probably a lot to take in. Well, let me start. My name is Brandon. As to what this place is, we’ll get to that. And as to why I extended this invitation to you? Well, that’s a real long story, but it starts with me telling you this: Like you, I’m not from this, ah…what’s the term you guys use here…Star, that’s it! Not from this star.”

That got their attention. Both turned to look at him immediately. “Are you…are you an explorer of some kind?” Aleister asked, a mixture of awe and a little hope in his voice.”

Brandon shook his head. “Not exactly, no. But, perhaps I should start at the beginning.” He gestured to the massive viewport, at the round image that dominated it. “You recognize this, I take it?”

“That…that’s Hydaelyn, isn’t it? From far away, as if viewed in the firmament of the night sky” Aleister replied.

Brandon nodded. “Very good. And this?” He reached outword, hands splayed open. Small blue cubes of light appeared around his fingertips and be brought them closer together in front of him. As he did, the image in the viewport changed. Hydaelyn shrank and other spheres appeared, smaller copies forming a circle of which Hydaelyn was a part, but with gaps in multiple places.

“Wait, I recognize that pattern from one of the texts Urianger gave me! Is that supposed to be…the shards?” Gwenefyr asked.

“Indeed! But now comes the kicker.” Brandon brought his hands even closer, and the viewport shifted again. The circle of worlds shrank and moved to a side and a whole host of other illuminated spheres, each with is own ring of smaller spheres forming their own circles, appeared.

Franks just stared, mouth agape. There had to be well over a hundred of the circles. “What….what are those?”

Brandon smiled. “That, my friend, are other Hydaelyns.”

Gwenefyr gasped as Franks whirled to face him. “You…you did it! You figured out how to do it? What’s the secret, what have I been missing?”

Brandon’s expression shifted into a frown. “We’ll….get there. Still a lot I need to show you. But first…” He brought his hands together fully.

The viewport shifted again. All of the Hydaelyns shrank further, displaying as a wedge, barriered by a line of light, and adjacent to it…were even more worlds, each marked by a barrier of their own, arranged next to each other as though they were part of a large wheel that only a small section of could be seen.

Brandon raised his left hand, only two fingers extended, and made a swiping motion to the right. The display of the wheel shifted, the wedge of Hydaelyns moving to the right and a new wedge with its own series of white lights. An electronic chimed intoned and text appeared on the viewscreen below the wedge.

“Azeroth” Gwenefyr intoned, somewhat breathlessly.

Brandon nodded. “Inside there is your original home….along with with thirty-seven different versions of the universe of Azeroth. Each unique and distinct from each other in a myriad of ways”

“And that, my friends, is the tip of the iceberg of what we like to call the multiverse. A grouping of universes, mostly alike in structure and history, with different versions of a vast majority of the same people found on all of them, but each with certain ‘key differences’ that make them unique. Divergent points in history, different people in key positions of influence or power, things like that. All of them represented by a single one of these wedges. Swipe to another wedge, and you have a set of completely different universes with a different set of rules, history, people, entirely unrelated to anything in another wedge, with their own different universes with ‘key differences’, and yes thats a technical term by the way.”

He extended his hand again and continued swiping. That same chime played with each swipe, and another wedge moved to the center, text appearing that neither of the visitors managed to retain.

“Just to give you an idea of how many of these ‘universal clusters’ there are, I could sit here and swipe once every second, and it would be twelve hours before I even got halfway.”

Aleister turned back to him “I have so many questions…”

Brandon held up a hand to stop him. “I know. But first, you need to understand who I am, or more accurately, who I represent.

“Uncountable eons ago, there was a race of beings, the original name of which has long been lost, who were incredibly technologically advanced. They discovered the existence of other universes and before long, developed a way to generate gateways that crossed the metaphysical barrier that lie between them all. They found a universe similar to their own, but with seemingly small but impactful differences between them. But like them, their neighbors were peaceful, dedicated to knowledge and cooperation for the good of all, and so they established diplomatic relations with each other, working together to benefit both of their peoples.”

“This cooperation proved boonful, and so they did it again and again. A central citadel, home of a dozen different gateways to differing versions of their universe, was established over time, allowing the best minds to collaborate with each other and advance their civilizations together, for the good of all. The completion of a new gateway became a cultural holiday known as ‘Opening Day’, People from all over the varying universes would get together with their own counterparts and celebrate.”

“Unfortunately, they made an assumption. Every universe they’d traveled to, while having some cultural or political differences to overcome, ultimately was not terribly different. Their race was still the dominant one of the world, and they ultimately wanted the same thing, to be brought forward into their shared age of enlightenment and reason.”

“The very last gateway they ever opened was to a universe dominated by a predatory insectoid species that every other universe had destroyed early in their recorded histories. In this universe, however, the insectoids had won. And over time, they’d evolved into a vicious hiveminded swarm that had consumed nearly all other forms of life on their world. And they….were hungry”

Brandon’s face grew somber. “What followed, as you can imagine, was a cataclysm. The insectoids poured through the gateway in uncountable numbers, consuming all in their path. And since all the other gateways were centralized in the same spire, they soon expanded into every other universe. growing in vast numbers as they consumed more and more biomass. The race had no weapons to stop them, they had evolved past a need for them, and so they stood no chance against the insectoid’s single unified mind driving their massive vicious forms.”

“It took only a few months before the race was all but extinct. The insectoids had utterly consumed their entire civilization and culture. I say ‘all but’ because some two dozen did survive, boarding a small number of experimental craft meant to traverse the inter-universal space that separated them. What they found was that there were no other universes belonging to their people. They were all that remained. But as they explored the rift between worlds in their ships, they found others. Nothing like them, but full of live and people of varying kinds. But they also found others where forces of destructive power reigned as well, forces that would consume other universes if they were to learn of them”

“They vowed that they would never let the mistake they’d made happen again. The multiverse was glorious, yes, but also fragile. It needed to be kept safe from itself. And so they would become its Sentinels, watchful protectors and guardians.”

Brandon looked between them both. “And that’s who I work for. The Sentinels. They employ agents from across the multiverse to keep a close eye on individual sectors, a small group of universal clusters. I have the responsibility of keeping watch over the myriad versions of both Hydaelyn and Azeroth, among others. And that’s why we’re speaking today.”

Brandon brought up the images of the Hydaelyn wedge on the monitor. “Now, for nearly everyone, travel between universes is simply impossible. They can’t even fathom that it exists. There are powerful entities in some that might have the capability to tunnel through the inter-universal rift, but again, our best advantage is that they simply don’t know it exists. We keep a close eye on these entities, but most of the cross-universe incursions we have to deal with happen spontaneously and on small scales. Small portals between universes will spontaneously manifest, and sometimes living creatures will get caught up in them. WHen they’re dangerous, we intervene. Agents, like myself, are empowered to recruit beings from these universes to travel to a universe that something hazardous from their own has appeared in, and deal with the problem. They go home, we agents come in and wipe the memories of anyone who saw anything, and life goes on for everyone. These assets then go on with their own pursuits until such time as they are needed again, if ever. They are sworn to secrecy about the multiverse’s existence, but otherwise we ask no other obligations of them.”

“However, your case was a different one, Aleister. In your case, you not only didn’t threaten the universe you ended up in, you ended up actively working towards ending the threat of that universes versions of the Ascians, who as you might imagine are on our “shitlist” of potential problem entities. I decided to watch and see what you did, and you did not disappoint. You kept your origins secret, for the most part, and made yourself an even bigger threat to them. Normally, a cross universe incursion signals us to destroy a spontaneously generated portal, we keep them open for study until that happens, but yours we left open as a result of your choices.”

He looked over to Gwenefyr. “What I absolutely did not expect was that, in her tenacity to be reunited with you, your lady love would also find that portal and go through herself. And while I am a romantic at heart who is thrilled to see you reunited and happy, unfortunately, you’ve told your story to an increasing number of people on your Hydaelyn, which has forced me to act.

Aleister tensed. “Act? To what end?”

“As I said, secrecy is our prime directive. The more people know, the more danger the multiverse is in. You’ve not only told a fair number of people in your version of Hydaelyn, but thanks to the portal’s presence, your version of the Exarch managed to summon heroes to help you from other universes. In every other universe, he summoned people from that universe’s shards. Not in yours. The same thing happened when Rheika used Azem’s crystal against Elidibus. She brought allies from yet another universe. And in both of those instances, those Warriors of Light became aware of the multiverse, opening more avenues for the knowledge to spread. We cannot have that.”

Franks threw up his hands in frustration. “But look at the good we did! The final two unsundered Ascians, defeated! Who knows what other good we could accomplish if the Warriors of Light from all of the Hydaelyns came together? How many more universes could we save from their Ascians, and how quickly?”

Brandon pointed a finger at him. “And this is why I had to sabotage your experiments, you don’t comprehend the consequences of what you are doing. You forget the lesson of the Sentinel’s origins, already! If we do that, then everyone learns of the multiverse very quickly, and then they’ll start trying to enter it on their own. Look at this!”

WIth a series of gestures, Brandon brought a small number of differing Hydaelyn-and-Shards rings into view. He pointed to one of them. “That one? That’s your adopted home. Hydaelyn-83, by our numbering.” He pointed to the closest one. “This one is Hydaelyn-82, your ‘neighbor’ metaphysically speaking.” Four figures appeared on the viewport. “Recognize anyone?”

Aleister looked at the figures. One was a dark-haired midlander woman, another was a dark-skinned rava viera. He recognized neither of them, but the last two, a red-skinned xaela woman and a dark-skinned elezen with purple and red hair, he did remember. “Yes, those two. That’s Toragana and Veilette, they helped us defeat Hades!”

Brandon nodded. “Just so. On their world, these four are the Warriors of Light. Unlike you and yours, however, they allowed themselves to be almost wholly defined by the traumas of their past and elected to use their power to ensure that none would ever control them again. They would utterly destroy any who crossed them, in the name of dispensing justice, including Gaius van Baelsar, who did not escape the Praetorium alive as he did in your world. Their relationships with the Scions and the leaders of the city-states was extremely strained, but it was Gaius’ own death that proved to be their undoing. Without him, Valens van Varro’s WEAPON project went unopposed in secret, and he unleashed them in a devastating attack on Limsa Lominsa, utterly destroying the city and killing three of the four Warriors of Light.”

Toragana and the two unknown women disappeared from the viewport.

“With her sisters dead, Veilette went into hiding with what few followers she had. Though she had killed the Unsundered, no one was able to stop Fandaniel’s plans from moving forward. Now this Hydaelyn is a ravaged battlefield between Lunar Primals and Garlean warmachina, with the rest of the world caught in the middle, hiding in what few pockets of safety remain. Would you go to that world and potentially expose yours to that danger?”

Brandon pointed to another cluster. “Or perhaps this one? Hydaelyn-72. On this one, the Ascians miscalculated. They rejoined the First with the source, empowering the Black Rose gas with all of that Light aether from the First, but it was more potent than they imagined. The gas was extremely virulent, sweeping throughout the entire world, turning everything it touched into Sin Eaters. Now that Hydaelyn is a death world, a barren wasteland roamed by beasts of light and choked by toxic air, while the Ascians wonder how to salvage their grand plan. Would you see someone inadvertently open a portal to that universe and see that toxic air claim another entire star?”

Both Franks looked on in horror. Aleister spoke. “I….I see your point. But could the Sentinels not stop such things?”

Brandon laughed. “We don’t have the numbers or the tech to stop entire armies in a fight or to contain a virulent toxic gas from spreading. There’s a reason we try to keep universes contained, and that’s because if we don’t, once it progresses past a certain point, we don’t have a way to stop it. And so we work from the shadows, clipping small problems before they get big and erasing memories so no one remembers any of it that we don’t want to.”

Franks clasped his hands in front of his face, as Gwen placed a hand on his shoulder. “So, you said you had to act because I came here. What happens now?”

Brandon crossed his arms, his expression softening. “Well, per our protocol, I’ve got two choices for you. Choice one, I wipe both of your memories of all of your time on Hydaelyn-83, return you to your Azeroth, and wipe everyone’s memory of ever having met you. I don’t want to do that one, I really don’t. You’ve proven a net benefit to 83, you really have, but I have to contain this. So there’s my second option, you two, along with everyone else in the Scions that you’ve told, officially sign up as assets for us. If something from a Hydaelyn threatens people in another universe, I ask you to help me deal with it, you do so. I should stress that this is not a common occurrence and when it does happen, it’s even more rare that it’s a really difficult threat. Otherwise you live your lives with the knowledge you have of the multiverse with no other interference, from us at least, so long as you don’t spread what you know. Just know that if you take that option, the portal closes too. You never can go back to your original universe.”

Anger emerged on Gwen’s face. “You can’t possibly expect us to make that decision on our own. We have to talk to them, let them decide for themselves! They need to know what we’re asking of them!”

Brandon smiled. “Already did that. Told them all everything I told you yesterday. Every single one agreed to sign up and keep what they know secret, but only if you chose to stay. They didn’t want you to not have the choice to ‘go home’ as Dahkar put it.”

Aleister looked over at Gwen, who nodded to him. “It’s not our home anymore, we already came to terms with that. If our friends agreed to this, then it’s pretty clear how much they’re willing to do to let us stay, So, we accept.”

Brandon clapped his hands. “Great! I’ll take care of everything else. Just remember, absolutely no sharing this knowledge with anyone else, and no more cross-universe gateway experiments on your own, okay? Awesome. You guys can head out through that door, it’ll take you back where you came in. And don’t worry about being seen, I put up a small field around that doorway that basically makes people suddenly remember far more important things whenever they look at it. No one should bat an eye at you.” He gestured to a newly opened door that Aleister was fairly confident was not there before.

He extended a hand to Gwen, who took it. The pair smiled at each other and walked out of the ship, not looking back.

They emerged from the same doors they’d entered in Bulwark Hall. As Brandon had promised, no one even looked twice at them.

Aleister sighed. “Well, that was….a thing. I guess we better get back to the Rising Stones and tell the other Scions what happened here.”

Gwen nodded. “You think we made the right choice? I mean, I know we committed to this already, but this…it’s kinda final.”

Aleister smiled warmly at her. “Now that you’re here and staying with me? Yes, yes I do.”

“Then let’s head home, my love.”

“All right! Ready for your first aetheryte teleport?”

Gwen smirked and began casting the magick, rising into the air as she did. Franks smiled, and followed suit.

The pair winked out of existence, heading towards their future.

#FFXIV 2021 Writing Challenge #Final Fantasy XIV #oldmanfranks #Aleister Franks #Gwenefyr Franks #multiverse

[seblaine-rph]

While you're looking into rps can we talk about Devereux Academy for a minute? A basic look at their main and rules reveals Kristin Stewart as an FC but she's asked repeatedly not to be used in rp, people getting originally tested for being Dom Switch or sub at 17, the rp wording is almost an exact replica of another rp that ran for a while, and they are allowing the Motta family to be whitewashed with a white Robert Pattinson FC. I'm sure theres more i was just too disgusted to keep looking.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been told to take a look at @devereuxacademy or heard about it being problematic. I can’t tell you about the dash and I’m not going to troll through everyone’s blogs, so if there is something on the dash that anyone would like to share with me (problematic plots, not tagging triggers, admin behavior,etc) then feel free to send another ask. 

More than one person came to me when this rp first hit the tags, asking if I thought they had stolen parts of their rp. I reported this by answering multiple different asks about it and they never responded, which is very telling. Honestly, I think they did. Intentionally or not, they do have a lot of parts of other, existing roleplays in their plot and there are so many copy and pasted things that it looks to be done on purpose. You can say, “but it’s a D/s academy rp and there’s only so many ways to rp in a school, so of course it looks similar to other rps of the same genre” except for the part where even academy rps have their own unique plot points, including the history of the world, social economics, and the school as well as the history of the administration. And that wasn’t the last time it was brought to my attention, or the only reason. I do see it, if we’re looking for my opinion on the matter of stolen plot content. I can see at least three different roleplays that were already in the tags for a long time, weaved together to make this group. I don’t really see anything that is original in the plot or worldview info, aside from maybe the intense details on IVF as the reason for there being so many triplets. Don’t quote me on that, though, it may have been used before. I just haven’t seen it. 

It weirds me out that they have all of their characters being thrust into nsfw situations before 18, with what should be an 18+ concept like BDSM, and at the same time they’re a discord rp as well as a tumblr rp. It says on their application that the characters are tested to find out which mark they are at 17. That’s a minor, being tested in a nsfw way because however you slice it BDSM and D/s are nsfw and nobody under the age of 18 can legally or morally be allowed to even dip a single toe in and that includes taking a test to find out what kinks they like and whether they’re going to want to be catching or receiving when it comes to sex. It just makes me wonder what’s being hidden in the discord. I’d also like to mention that they do have the option to play teachers as well as students, which is just weird and gross to me in this instance. The content is nsfw, clearly some students are going to get with teachers. It’s weird enough when it’s a sfw college rp and students do not smut with teachers, but being a teacher is a respectable character choice so I can see why you’d want to do it. If you were going to focus on talking to other teachers and developing plots with other teachers. In this instance though... the power dynamic between teachers and students are way different and there is a sexual overtone automatically because this is a kinky smut rp. You can also play a character as young as 21, which just makes me hope there are no relationships being written out by naive 21 year olds with their 30-40-50+, way more mature, could be their parent teacher. That might sound like I’m making up something that would never happen, but I have seen someone try to play a 62 year old lesbian that was predatory towards 19 year olds and even claimed one in a D/s rp like this. We all know how Glee rps work, we all know this line has already been crossed. We all also know why that’s gross- it’s an abuse of power and there is no way that a teacher/student dynamic could be cute because there will always be a sense of one person being way more mature than the other and being in a seat of power. Another reason to wonder what’s being hidden on this discord.

There are incorrectly casted families. In particular, I’m seeing POC families with fcs that should not belong because they do not match. I’d really like to know how it is that two Filipino girls and a black girl are twins. As a general note to the admins, you can’t erase half of someone’s ethnicity either. There are other families where one or more character is half right but also half wrong in an offensive way. And some families that are just wrong. I do give them props on some of this being right, but that doesn’t erase the other problems. You can’t whitewash people. Not all Asians are the same. Not all Latinx people are the same. Brown people aren’t interchangeable. Let me just list these so they’re easier to fix:

In the Adams family, Alex Newell is African-American but the fc has a sister that’s  British, Polish and Caribbean. That might be picking at straws but I always find it offensive when people pick and choose how to group ethnicities- like deciding all Asians are the same so they can be related. Either way, she’s over half white which doesn’t match up. 

Laura Harrier is Rachel Berry, she is half black and half white with Jewish background so that’s a really nice choice but then she’s twins with two Haliee Steinfeld fcs? Hailee who is Filipino... She’s also been accused of using the N word and being racist so she’s on a lot of people’s banned lists for the same reasons as Lea Michele. 

Brianna Tju is in a Chinese family but she’s half Indonesian. She’s also a Disney Channel star, so some people find that problematic from the start, because most of her resources are from kid’s shows at an age that is too young to be roleplaying. She’s only 22 now, which is old enough to rp, however the only real resources she has are from something that aired in 2015 and was likely filmed in 2014 or earlier. When she was definitely a minor. 

Kaya Scoldelario is Brazilian. She’s whitewashed by being placed in the Clarington family.

Zoe Deutch is Jewish. Her siblings are Matthew Daddario (Slovak, Italian, Irish, Hungarian, and English) and Haley Lu Richardson, who has a white background that doesn’t include Jewish. This is the Corcoran family as well, which should be Jewish, since they’re all related to Idina Menzel.

Victoria Pedretti is Jewish and she’s in the very white Evans family.

None of the older Fabrays are Jewish, and Ashley Johnson is Native American but also somehow a twin of the white Frannie Fabray.

Principal Figgins is played by someone that is Pakistani but the Figgins on the masterlist is played by Dev Patel, who is Gujarati Indian. 

Tyler Hoechlin is also partially Native American, but he is placed in the Flangan (Irish, like straight out of Ireland) family that has Rory recast as Thomas Dogherty (Scottish) with an Ariana Grande (Italian) twin as well. 

Kristen Stewart is on the masterlist but she has asked numerous times not to be used in roleplay because it makes her uncomfortable. I just covered this for another roleplay, and I’ve seen other people mention it, so it’s common knowledge at this point. She has been saying this for a long time. She’s also placed as the twin of Danielle Campbell, who is Mexican and Cajun French while Kristen is just white and the canon family member (Gilbert, so Adam Lambert) is Jewish.

Zendaya is also placed as a twin to Samantha Ware. Zendaya is mixed race, half black and half white, while Samantha is black. 

Yvette Monreal is the twin to Demi Lovato. Yvette is Chilean. Demi is Mexican and Portuguese. 

Avan Jogia is a Hart, but he is Gujarati Indian and white. He would be a better family relation to Dev Patel than anyone else on the masterlist and vice versa. As a refresher, Samuel Larsen (the canon fc for the Hart family) is Mexican, Danish, Spanish and Persian.

Maddison Jaizani is Iranian, but she’s listed as a Holliday which makes her related to Gwyneth Paltrow... a blonde, white woman.

Jacob Elordia is Basque and his sibling on the masterlist is Marie Avgeropoulos, a Greek actress. 

Rafael Silva is Brazilian, but he is a Lopez triplet, related to a Mexican-Irish sister (Lindsay Morgan) and a Mexican-Jewish sister (Alexa Demie).

Sugar Motta is played by Vanessa Lengies on Glee, an Egyptian actress. Her family is whitewashed with two white fcs, Kelli Berglung and Robert Pattinson. 

Kaylee Byrant is Japanese but she is twin to Madison Beer (Jewish) and Daisy Ridley (white).

The Puckerman family has lost its Jewish heritage. The only two on Noah’s side are Adelaide Kane (white) and Luke Pasqualino (Italian). Jake Puckerman has been recast as Justice Smith, who is half black and half white but is not Jewish. His sister is Samantha Logan who is half Trinidadian and half white and Pauline Singer, who is full Fijian.

Antonia Gentry is cast as a Weston. She is Jamaican, her listed twin is half white and half African-American. The newest acceptance for a Weston is for an African American fc. 

Lili Reinhart is on the masterlist, but she’s problematic. She’s defended the abusive behavior of her cast mate, Cole Sprouse, who was very publicly accused of sexual assault and abuse. She’s also been accused of blackface annnnnnnd she’s used queer baiting to get people to watch the show. (She teased a girl on girl relationship publicly, telling people to watch the show because they might finally get to see something between Betty and Veronica, knowing that the fans wanted it, but then when she was asked about it in a later interview she scoffed and acted like it was absolutely impossible and would never happen, some would say she even sounded offended by the thought-- which is what everyone got mad at Melissa Benoist for doing with Supergirl.)

David Corenswet is Jewish, cast with Emily Browning as a sister, who is not.

I applaud the Brazilian change for Lauren Zizes, but Ashley Fink was a welcome representation of plus size actresses and the new fc is less than half her size. She’s still plus size technically, but she’s “model plus size,” which is not at all the same as Lauren’s body type. I ran this by someone that this change would affect and they were not pleased. They were the one that pointed this out to me, because it bothered them as a plus size person to see one of the few plus size characters recasted with a skinnier fc. 

Dove Cameron is also on the masterlist, but she’s on a bunch of people’s banned lists. She replied to a fan that said they wanted her to notice them that they were stupid and had no life if that was one of their goals. She’s been rude to cast and crew on set. Dove has also been accused of throwing a fit and making the writers change the Descendants script to take the relationship that was written out for a black actress. She’s being accused of yellow fishing, which I believe is the term for trying to look Asian. She wore a Native American headdress in a cultural appropriation type of way. She’s been accused of being fatphobic and hiding behind photoshop on her social media while saying she doesn’t photoshop, so she’s giving off a false sense of reality to her fans. She’s been talking badly about someone that is trying to get their sexual assault story out there. The latest thing that’s come out about her is a rant about how mental health isn’t real and that people just need to logic their way out of depression? Which would be coming from a seat of high privilege. She wrote a series of tweets on the topic, calling negative mental health and the feelings they cause “a choice.” There’s a whole hashtag on Tumblr for her. 

I’m not at all surprised to see that all of the diverse characters are open. No Artie, no Unique- who could definitely be recast as an actual trans woman, now that we’re living in the age of recasting for reasons of problematic natures- if we can have a new Puck, new Finn, new Rachel, and new Santana why not an appropriate Unique? She is literally the only canon trans woman, why not treat her with respect? They recasted Cooper to better fit the proper ethnicity, so... 

#glee rph #glee rp #glee twin rp #glee multiples rp #smut rp #ds rp #kink rp #rph #rpcw #rpcha #sebastian answers #devereuxacademy #Anonymous

[sunnygang]

analysing the sep 24 wigfrid animated short (don’t starve)

I am rewatching some Don’t Starve animations and catching up on some i hadn’t seen yet. I am watching the Wigfrid animation tonight for the first time (the sep 24 one). I am a few months late, whoops!

I will be putting this analysis under a cut, since I will be pairing a lot of screen caps from the short itself! Also this turned out WAY longer than I originally intended it to. There’s a tw for incest mention in one paragraph (about a stage play that is relevant, NOT about Wigfrid) and I put the warning surrounded in asterisks and bolded before the paragraph referenced!

The short opens with a shot from what is safe to assume is her front hallway. Wigfrid is an actress and she appears to live alone in a nice home.

The walls are of course covered in her various photographs and stage play memoriam. Over the mantle on the left the framed poster reads  Die Walküre (The Valkyrie). Keep this in mind as this is Wigfrid’s best role. Also peep that nice chaise lounge she’s sitting on!

Some national culture, we get to see the newspaper she is reading. This paper is The Kronicle. The real life Chronicle newspaper, upon searching it, returned a good number of results. I am going to say that this particular article is the Ohio Chronicle (founded by the Lorain Printing and Publishing Co which was founded in 1829, the paper itself may or may not have been founded that same year), and I will get into why later.

The front page features the Tragedy in San Francisco. The tragedy of Maxwell and Charlie! The article header specifically reading “Tragedy in San Francisco! Many Still Missing After Devastating Earthquake!” This is around the same date, it has to be within a matter of days for this short to take place from the date of the Charlie and Maxwell disappearance in San Francisco. We don’t get to see Wigfrid reading this article, however. This is merely set there for the viewer’s sake. This is helping form our timeline of when these events all occurred. Many still missing. That means the search continues. This article could have been published a few days after the mentioned earthquake or a week even. Still, it gives us somewhat of a timeline to reference. The earthquake and the events of this Wigfrid short happened in relatively short time from one another.

This newspaper article header reads “Is It Curtains for This Prima Donna? Former Rising Star Seems Unable to Recapture The Magic of Her Precious Role”

Wigfrid isn’t shown reading the front article because she is focused on the news centered around herself. She’s called a prima donna here in this headline. Being called a Prima Donna can mean a number of things. It can mean a principle female singer in an opera or concert organization OR someone who is vain/undisciplined and finds it difficult to work as a team. She doesn’t have any quotes in DST that would indicate Wigfrid doesn’t work well with others. She mostly greets the other players warmly and hopes for good blessings from Yggdrasil, etc.

I think the journalists who wrote the article were looking to have this kind of double idea happening. The term Prima Donna comes directly from Italian for the types of female leads to the definitive aspect of the term. However around the same time (19th cent) it came to mean the second definition as well. Those writing the article likely wrote it with both aspects in mind. This gives Wigfrid her personal reason for wanting to ask Maxwell for help in some way. This is her drive. She is obviously a talented lead opera lady given the decorations and extravagant nature of her home. But this article says she is unable to recapture the magic of her previous role. The role in question looks to be very different from the Wigfrid Valkyrie we know. Her best role may be her Valkyrie role and maybe when she’s trying to branch into something else it isn’t working. And the critics and journalists think it isn’t good for her. She was a powerful Valkyrie, but not whatever this role happened to be.

We get to see her finishing reading the article (or maybe this short interrupts her just barely skimming it) and angrily crumple and toss the paper to the floor. She turns her nose up at it and dramatically walks to a bookshelf in the room and pulls out this record:

Die Walküre. This is the recorded orchestral arrangement for the stage play Die Walküre. In the bottom right of the record sleeve is the names of who I believe to be the composers for the recorded version of the orchestral arrangement. Vincenzo De Vera and Emmental Halle. Wigfrid’’s. Best. Role. The role with such “magic” that she has been since “unable to recapture.”

**incest mention in this next paragraph in the contexts of norse mythology and the real life stage play of The Valkyrie, not Wigfrid herself**

Interestingly enough, Die Walküre is a very real stage play. It is based on Norse Mythology about two twins who are separated in childhood and then eventually meet and fall in love (yikes!). This union angers the gods and they demand Siegmund die. Sieglinde and their unborn child are saved by the defiant actions of Wotan’s daughter, The Valkyrie. Valkyrie Brunnehilde faces the god’s retribution as a result of her actions.

More Valkyrie content hidden away in her shelves. She adored her role as The Valkyrie. Her house is, as we have seen, filled with memoriam from that stage play.

She plays the record and walks over to her wall and looks at her poster of herself as the Valkyrie. The newspaper clipping on the left reads “Audiences Left Spellbound by Soprano’s Powerful Performance.” Wigfrid is a GREAT performer and she is a soprano! She even has a little statue/sculpture of herself as The Valkyrie.

Here’s where I am going to go a little more into the Prima Donna bit. Wigfrid was the lead female for Die Walküre so she is a Prima Donna in that sense. however, she is also vain. She has surrounded herself with HERSELF. All over the walls in her home. Posters and pictures and photographs and SCULPTURES? You Prima Donna girl you, Wigfrid!

Her ceiling is even intricately decorated with scenes from Die Walküre.

And then we get here. We enter Wigfrid’s fantasy about performing as The Valkyrie who has to face a challenge. This challenge being a dragon that forms from this stack of newspaper pages. More entertainment pages that discuss Wigfrid’s stardom reaching an end.

Wigfrid’s real name is scratched out. So we know for certain that Wigfrid is NOT her real name. We can still call her real name whatever we please until we get more solid evidence surrounding her name. Wigfrid is probably Die Valküre’s name in the stage play that Wigfrid acted in. In The Constant it’s safe to assume that the character she takes on in the world happens to be this character, Wigfrid. At this point it raises some question as to whether or not Wigfrid is treating The Constant like a stage. Where she gets to really perform the role of The Valkyrie.

Back to the newspaper taking the form of a dragon, though. The papers are her enemy. The journalists writing about her in such awful ways literally conjure up as her enemy, a dragon, to vanquish. This reveals how she feels about the way others speak about her. Especially when they are critiquing her so harshly with claiming she is a fading star unable to capture her magic.

Wigfrid is thrust into the air by the dragon and she seems lost for a moment before she regains her composure and strikes down the dragon. These are the feelings she is expressing through her singing accompaniment with the arrangement playing on her record player. And Maxwell notices this.

Maxwell appears before Wigfrid through the newspaper. This intrigues me because we know that Them (the Shadow Creatures of the Constant) are capable of reaching into the real world from pages. Thinking back to Maxwell’s Codex Umbra where he first discovered Them and became Maxwell instead of William. Maxwell (or probably rather, They) reaches through these pages to communicate with Wigfrid and have her make a deal. The deal to regain her former glory.

Whisked away with this Shadow Maxwell form by the Shadows from the pages. And with that Wigfrid joins the missing group, taken to The Constant.

And then theres these shots in succession:

All that mail piled up. How long has it been since Wigfrid has disappeared. I think we can assume that some of the mail in her box might be fan mail. SHe has packages on her front step (in front of double doors for her entrance wowie!). I spy at least three packages there piled up with all the assorted mail she otherwise has accumulated while missing. I also spy at least four newspapers. It’s hard to say whether these newspapers are Morning Dailies, Afternoon Dailies, or Weeklies. And then we get the final, fifth newspaper copy tossed on top of the stack that labels Wigfrid as someone who is also now missing. This is an important newspaper because this paper is a DAILY newspaper.

The Kourier paper is likely a mirror to the IRL newspaper in Findlay, Ohio. This paper puts out a copy DAILY. I am going to assume that the first newspaper we see Wigfrid read is a weekly newspaper. It covers more national events such as the San Francisco tragedy. This final newspaper is a daily newspaper. This helps the timeline. Wigfrid has likely been missing for only five days at this point. At most it could have been a week, pushing it to of course seven days. Maybe one of the other papers in the could be another Kronicle copy, which I am deeming the weekly style paper. In my hunt for information about the IRL version of this paper in our real Ohio, I struggled to find specifics online whether this paper published weekly or daily. I do know for certain that tthe IRL Courier is put into circulation daily.

OKAY! Next I want to discuss the colors used in this short. Ignoring the fully colored bit in the center while Wigfrid fantasizes about performing for a moment.

In the beginning of the short we have warm colors. These colors can both reflect Wigfrid’s mood and also the time of day. Wigfrid is angry about the way she is being talked about in the newspaper articles. She is silhouetted by orange-red. It could also be the evening. Adding a little to what I stated just a bove about the newspapers, I think The Kronicle is a paper that is delivered in the afternoon. I personally deem this accurate because in this scene Wigfrid of course is just now reading this article (or rather just barely skimming it over for the first time). Judging by her reaction which I’ve detailed above. She isn’t reading it over again and having an already bummed reaction, One of her eyebrows is raised while she looks over the article before throwing it down. Thus, it was her first moment seeing the article along with us.

We see her anger melting into a kind of sadness, or forlorn feelings even when she first puts on her record. She is still angry of course, but she’s feeling a lot of emotions, as we do, at this point in time.

At the end of the short we have cold colors. At this point, Wigfrid has gone through her fantasy of performing The Valkyrie. She is feeling solemn about it all now though. What if the papers are true? What if I am losing my magic for my roles? I think it’s also into the night or even possibly into the morning. It’s either the shine of the moon coming in from the windows, or early morning blue hours peeking in. I don’t want to say that she spent the whole night fantasizing and performing for herself (The Valkyrie is not an 8 hour performance). BUT. When we get to see the scene where the last newspaper is delivered to her doorstep, it is again in the blue lighting. The Kourier newspaper delivered onto her stack of mail. The Kourier is a morning delivery vs The Kronicle being an afternoon delivery.

ALSO. Remember my post about Winona? WELL she was ALSO located in Ohio pre being dragged into The Constant. So far we have two characters safely concretely placed IN Ohio at the time of their disappearance. Obviously, The Shadow Creatures do not discriminate since Wes was likely trapped way back during the train derailment with William, and of course Charlie and Maxwell/William himself were taken from San Francisco.

Okay. That’s all I have time for this time around of over analyzing don’t starve content. I am glad I got into the imagery and symbolism this time around. I also went WAY in depth in this one. I plan on going in way depth on the other animated character shorts, so stay tuned!

#dont starve #dont starve together #don't starve #don't starve together #wigfrid ds #wigfrid dont starve #klei entertainment #video game analysis #well its video game ADJACENT #because its ABOUT the video game CHARACTERS

[coldbatpalacepanda]

My life journey: i was born on May 28,2002 in katalicanan aleosan cotabato,i didnt of mine deep-felt already born in the hospital bacause my home is far away the Road its not easy to facilitate the patient go in the hospital,but im so grateful because im still alive,strong, good health,and happy to this world even theres more problem i encounter to my life as a adult,student,and younger to all siblings,as a young age lived in this world that theres so many problems i encounter Ill fight in order get loose at life,being a student its so hard to adjust this year now cause full of changes and problem like this pandemic now,theres more changes like in my studying now this online class its so hard to adjust cause some lesson we didnt understand but we try our best to understand it cause this is for our better future,and also i miss all memories being a young and student that last year theres no pandemic to come in we lived peace and free theres no distraction like in high school life i never know that im a student cause highschool life it so memorable experiences and memories that i never forget to my life,like go out somewhere its for fun only theres no problem thinking cause they all enjoying life ,like dancing together in different fiestas its so memorable that this is ones in a life time to make is happen in life dancing together with your clasmate and friends,and celebrating a birthday of one of my friend we make specia because we never know now or soon like activities we never happen all the time cause life is short,no matter a little bit food we prepare the most important we are complete to celebrate the all. special day in our life and also i never forget to all may friends who give her trust on me even im so clingy,noisy,and funny sometimes ill still remember when im so happy to face may friends to see all laughing its so memorable and fun but one of my friends theres a deeply problems or secret she didnt tell anyone,but me also i listen her personal problem even there own family didnt know ,that time i see her eyes so sad and scared i dont explained my feeling when i see her,so that i talk to her and i told her that im her for you to listen and help ,when i know all what happen to her im shocking i didnt expect that realy happen in real life,so that im comforting him ill do my best to give advise cause when i see her eyes flow her tears i pitied her conditions she truma some on her circumstancing ,i feel sad because my bestfriend

she forthcome,thats why im willing to help for him already fade her problem im willing to help for him already fade her problem and to start a new journey of life cause i believe strong women is a fighter ,everyone needs friends,friends are an important part of our life without friends,life can be pretty lonely,friends come in all shape and size,you might have a tall friendsl or a fat friends or maybe a hilarious friends or a supportive friends,companionship even stronger than that,a friends is someone who is willing to listen and not listen because they should,a friend is someone who is willing to support you,if they dont like your decisions,they may try to convince you,but support at the end,a friend is someone who will comfort you through the tough times,a friends is someone who will laugh with you at the stupidest thing and even go along with your stupid ideas,a friend is someone who loves you because who you are and they accepted you and your flaws,a friend is someone who will protect you because they cant stand their friend being in any harm,a friend is someone who has your back through whatever the case might be and if they were truly your friend ,i dont think you'll be able to forget them,because friends stay with us for a very long period of time,they hold us together and we hold them together its kind of like a package,the number of friends you have never matters they only matter if they mean so much too and not just for showing off or you can have a lot of friends but the ones you talk to about the deep aren't many that a really good thing i think the special part about friendship is when you are arounshow more life is full of various events and experience,but all of these are not equally important,enjoyable and memorable,all days we come across in our life are not the same ,some my memorable moment,is the funniest and happiest day of our life however memories are not just the ones that make us feel like we are in heaven ,sometimes it is unforgettable because of the joy and fun that has given to us,be it either good or bad,it will still be the part of us,our life,it will remain in us forever,everywhere we walk when we think about this day or memory ,we are very happy and we want to cry,in my opinion,everyone has a special memory that they will never forget,it may be good or bad ,my hand were shaking and heart throbbing,with trembling ears i heard to her,she told me that i have secured ,i thanked God the almighty for the success which he granted me ,then i ran to my parents and gave them the good news they are overwhelmed with joy,my sister and cousin got up and rejoiced,d friend and your having loads of fun whether you are doing something of doing nothing,Athe most memorable experience in our life is when we did something unusual that made us feel ,shy ,happy ,sad or angry,it is composed of mixed emotions we did an unforgettable experience,it mostly occur in the days of our childhood,when we are still young and ignorant ,for example when we accidentally spill a glass of juice on the shirt of our crush !well,thats really unforgettable ,this is my unforgettable memories that they no regrets the most but the truth is,the more that you grow older and remember these memories you will be happy or sad l,but still you will learn to grow ,to change your old habits and start something new ,to always be careful of what you do or say. and always thank God for he has given to you and for the things you experience for that day And Now days there so much changes,so many thing that we cannot do with our friends and relatives cause we need to follow the protocol for being safe even this is so hard this is for our own good to make a better person we need to sacrifice and we always trust in God that theres hope to come in our life if we thingk always positive and pray,cause theres so possible happen uf we have faith this types of problem this is challenge of God to us if where the copiable for our prebelief cause i believe if we are alive we have propect in our life,dont stop dreaming and we always think positive.

After all, books are a man’s best friend, and they’ve been my best friends too. As extremely shy child I always found it hard to make actual “friends.” I was never a talkative kid. In fact, when other kids enjoyed jumping around, having fun, I would wish for some means of enjoying solitude. That is when I befriended my first book; Peter and Jane Book 1a Play with Us. My mother had bought me that book so I would learn to read. Well, I could read alright, or so I thought. Then again, it wasn’t what was inside that piqued my interest to pick up that thin hardback book, sit back on the couch and start reading it.

As far as I can recall, I peered at the vivid, illustrative cover of the book that depicted a boy and a girl peeking out of a tent for several minutes until finally turning the hardcover over. Now that I look back, those words, those sentences seem so simple, but back then, reading that simple transported me to a whole new world. Even though there wasn’t much to read in that book, but plenty of brightly colored images to see, I could almost picture myself there with Peter and Jane, just observing them from a distance. Believe it or not, that somewhat meaningless book is the reason I started reading in the first place, and it is because of that book that I have had the pleasure of reading some of the finest books over the years. That book filled the void of having no friends during my early-childhood years.

The very next day, I started reading the copy of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe I had received as a gift. Although the cover wasn’t as colorful as the books I had previously read, the illustration immediately captivated my attention. I put myself in place of those two children, and I imagined what it would be like to ride on top of a gigantic lion At first, the book itself did not capture my interest because I found it quite similar to the Wizard of Oz, but as I kept reading, I found myself joyfully lost i, i feel sad because my bestfriend

she forthcome,thats why im willing to help for him already fade her problem im willing to help for him already fade her problem and to start a new journey of life cause i believe strong women is a fighter ,everyone needs friends,friends are an important part of our life without friends,life can be pretty lonely,friends come in all shape and size,you might have a tall friendsl or a fat friends or maybe a hilarious friends or a supportive friends,companionship even stronger than that,a friends is someone who is willing to listen and not listen because they should,a friend is someone who is willing to support you,if they dont like your decisions,they may try to convince you,but support at the end,a friend is someone who will comfort you through the tough times,a friends is someone who will laugh with you at the stupidest thing and even go along with your stupid ideas,a friend is someone who loves you because who you are and they accepted you and your flaws,a friend is someone who will protect you because they cant stand their friend being in any harm,a friend is someone who has your back through whatever the case might be and if they were truly your friend ,i dont think you'll be able to forget them,because friends stay with us for a very long period of time,they hold us together and we hold them together its kind of like a package,the number of friends you have never matters they only matter if they mean so much too and not just for showing off or you can have a lot of friends but the ones you talk to about the deep aren't many that a really good thing i think the special part about friendship is when you are arounshow more life is full of various events and experience,but all of these are not equally important,enjoyable and memorable,all days we come across in our life are not the same ,some my memorable moment,is the funniest and happiest day of our life however memories are not just the ones that make us feel like we are in heaven ,sometimes it is unforgettable because of the joy and fun that has given to us,be it either good or bad,it will still be the part of us,our life,it will remain in us forever,everywhere we walk when we think about this day or memory ,we are very happy and we want to cry,in my opinion,everyone has a special memory that they will never forget,it may be good or bad ,my hand were shaking and heart throbbing,with trembling ears i heard to her,she told me that i have secured ,i thanked God the almighty for the success which he granted me ,then i ran to my parents and gave them the good news they are overwhelmed with joy,my sister and cousin got up and rejoiced,d friend and your having loads of fun whether you are doing something of doing nothing,Athe most memorable experience in our life is when we did something unusual that made us feel ,shy ,happy ,sad or angry,it is composed of mixed emotions we did an unforgettable experience,it mostly occur in the days of our childhood,when we are still young and ignorant ,for example when we accidentally spill a glass of juice on the shirt of our crush !well,thats really unforgettable ,this is my unforgettable memories that they no regrets the most but the truth is,the more that you grow older and remember these memories you will be happy or sad l,but still you will learn to grow ,to change your old habits and start something new ,to always be careful of what you do or say. and always thank God for he has given to you and for the things you experience for that day And Now days there so much changes,so many thing that we cannot do with our friends and relatives cause we need to follow the protocol for being safe even this is so hard this is for our own good to make a better person we need to sacrifice and we always trust in God that theres hope to come in our life if we thingk always positive and pray,cause theres so possible happen uf we have faith this types of problem this is challenge of God to us if where the copiable for our prebelief cause i believe if we are alive we have propect in our life,dont stop dreaming and we always think positive.

#about life #memoir writing

[wizisbored]

@hatchetober day 2 - universe

basically this promt remids me of a fic idea i had a few months ago - the gang are camped out in hidgens’ bunker after the events of black friday, and some wiggly portal shennanigans led to a connection to the tgwdlm universe and now theres 2 pauls - paul and musical paul - and 2 emmas - LXIX and CDXX

so anyway, i typed up one of the scenes i wrote in my notebook while i should have been paying attention in class

"She… wants to speak to you, Emma."

Emma freezes momentarily. She did kind of expect this - and she's been curious to properly meet her too, honestly - but you can't blame her for being fucking freaked out by the woman. An exact copy of her from an alternate reality? That's some weird shit.

Taking a deep breath, she nods to Becky. "Alright. I'll talk to her, that's fine." Looking around, it's clear that nobody believed that.

"Are you sure?" Paul asks.

"Yeah."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Paul," Becky tells him. "She's still a little… on edge."

"Oh. Yeah," he says, gently knocking his fists together.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine," Emma tries to reassure him, "if she's an exact copy of me, then she's going to be just as great as I am, isn't she?"

"I guess so," he agrees, smiling. "You are pretty great."

Emma gives him a quick kiss on the cheek - she has to go on tiptoes to reach - and turns to follow Becky to the 'sick bay'. Gently opening the door a crack, the nurse peers into the room to address her patient.

"Emma? Your… the other Emma is here."

"Okay. Thanks, Becky."

Hearing her speak sends shivers down Emma's spine. The two of them even have the same voice. She starts to follow Becky into the room but stops short just inside the door, stunned. Sure, she's seen her before, and she knew she was going to see her again now, but there's a difference between remembering she looks exactly like her and seeing she looks exactly like her. It's almost like looking in a mirror - the double looks about as freaked out as Emma feels. There's a long pause.

"Uh… hi?"

They speak at the same time, and see each other's eyes widen as their own do. That must've been a coincidence, right? Slightly more freaked out now, Emma glances to Becky and back to her double, seeing out of the corner of her eye that she does the same thing. "What the fuck?" It's whispered, but once again simultaneous. "What the fuck?" They both look to Becky for help, though they don't really know what they expect her to do.

"Well this is… Unexpected…"

"No shit!"

"Alright, I think you both need to take a few deep breaths,” Becky suggests, a little sterner than she sounded before. Closing their eyes, both Emmas do as she says.

“I understand that this is a strange situation, but panicking won’t help. Now, how about we try this again and I’ll help you make sure you don’t speak at the same time.” She places a hand on the nearest double’s shoulder. “Alright, Emma?” She looks the woman in the eye as she says it, trying to make it clear who she’s addressing. It works - only one of them replies.

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, Becky.”

The nurse flashes her a smile, then turns to address them both again. “Do either of you particularly want to speak first? Do you have anything to ask the other?”

Neither of them speak. It’s not that they don’t have questions - they have millions of questions - but neither knows where to start. The nurse resorts to turning to the nearest one once again. “Well… Maybe you could go first?”

“Um… Okay…” She turns to look at the woman sitting on the camp bed. “Hey… Emma. How… how are you doing?”

She shrugs. “Not great, honestly. Leg’s fucked... But hey, at least I’m going to live. Oh, and this whole alternate universe thing is… confusing, and… I’m kinda scared.”

“I’m confused and kinda scared too. I mean, this is the weirdest fucking conversation I’ve ever had.”

The Emma on the bed chuckles. The other is a little unsettled - she has her laugh too. But there’s something off about it. It’s not a ‘that’s funny’ kind of laugh. It’s a ‘this is fucked up and I’m uncomfortable’ kind of nervous laugh. The standing Emma looks closer at the other’s face and, since she sees it every time she looks in a mirror (well, minus the scars) it’s easy for her to notice everything off about it. This isn’t an exact copy of her, she realises. This is a version of her that’s trying to pretend she’s not terrified.

“I’d thought you’d feel the same way,” the one on the bed says, “since… you know…”

“We’re the same person,” they finish together. For a while the two of them just stare at each other, not knowing how to move past the first real acknowledgement between them of their situation. And then it clicks - for both of them.

“That’s why we’re speaking at the same time,” they say together, “we’re reacting to things in the same way.”

Becky looks from one to the other in disbelief. “You must be having identical thought processes, at least when you say the same things.”

“Woah.”

It’s completely surreal, but it’s starting to make sense.

“We must have had the same experiences, up to a point,” they say together, “so our brains developed in the same way. But then…”

The Emma on the bed drops off, and the one by the door continues alone. “Something must have changed.”

She looks again at her double’s face, at the fear she’s trying to hide. All she’s told the inhabitants of the bunker so far is that the creepy version of Paul that came into this reality with her is ‘infected’, and that her leg was injured in a crash. That, and the fact that she thought she was dead for sure before the portal opened.

“Emma?” the standing one asks. “What happened to you?”

“What, you want my whole life story, or…?”

She’s trying to laugh it off, avoid the question. Shaking her head, the other continues: “something fucked up your reality, didn’t it? I’m guessing it’s got something to do with whatever’s wrong with your version of Paul. And I think you’re still scared of it. More than just ‘kinda scared’.”

There’s a long pause.

“Your reality’s fucked too,” she eventually mutters, “we wouldn’t be in this bunker if it wasn’t.”

“Yeah, but I managed to avoid most of the fuckery. Hell, I spent most of it watching shitty kids’ films with Paul and Tim. My version of Paul didn’t start spitting up blue shit and try to kill me.”

The Emma on the bed shrugs. “Fair point.”

“So what happened?”

She sighs, looking down at the bandage wrapped around her thigh. “Becky, could you leave me and Emma alone for a bit?”

The nurse nods slowly, though she looks uncertain. Turning to the one by the door, she tells her to find her if they need anything, then leaves.

The Emma by the door steps a little closer to the bed. “Why did you ask her to go?”

“I don’t-” She pauses and sighs. “It’s not that I don’t trust her. She saved my life. But I don’t really know her, you know? I know you - I know that’s weird to say, ‘cause I just met you a few minutes ago, but after all that synchronization shit I figured you’ll react the same way I did, so I can figure out how to explain it so you’ll understand.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

The sitting one nods, then takes a deep breath.

“This isn’t going to sound scary but it was fucking terrifying. You have to think about the implications. Seriously, think about them. I didn't at first and that didn’t go well.”

“Okay. I promise I’ll think about it.”

“The world… turned into a musical.”

She says it with a gravity that stops her double from laughing, but she’s still confused. This doesn’t go unnoticed. “Please. Think about the fucking implications.”

She tries to figure it out. Sure, people randomly bursting into song would be unnerving, but terrifying? Not really. Maybe it was what they were singing. Did people spill their darkest secrets? Or maybe people had to sing and dance, like they were possessed. And then, all of a sudden, she remembers.

“That creepy version of Paul… You said he was infected. The musical was a disease?”

“Yeah, well that’s what we called it. But it wasn’t really. That thing that came through the portal with me wasn’t just Paul with a virus. That was - is - his corpse being puppeted by an alien hivemind. It was trying to kill me so I could join it.”

Her double stands in silence, shocked. The injured woman draws her right knee up and hugs it to her chest, resting her chin on it, tears welling up in her eyes.

“He died trying to kill it,” she spits bitterly. “But it got him too.”

As carefully as she can, her double perches herself on the edge of the bed. She’s almost surprised to find they’re the exact same size - the other looked so small crying there alone, wrapped in one of Tom’s flannels. Putting an arm around her feels strange, but right.

“You probably know this reality’s Paul better than I ever knew mine,” she sniffles, “but I cared about him.”

“I know you did. If it’s even a tiny fraction of how much I care about him, I know how much you cared. You have my s-”

“I don’t need your sympathy Emma,” she chokes out.

“I know you don’t, we’re-” the other begins,

“-the same fucking person-” they continue together.

“I know.” The injured woman finishes alone.

“I was going to say you have my support, Em,” the other explains gently. “I know sympathy does jack shit on its own, I... “ Her voice drops to almost a whisper. “I lost Jane too. So I know what it’s like for me- uh, you? ...us? I know what it’s like for us to grieve. I can help you.”

“Thanks. Some help would be good right now.”

Her double offers what she hopes is a reassuring smile. “Hey, look on the bright side. I know you came close, but you managed to escape dying in Hatchetfield.”

The injured one chuckles. “God, you don’t know the half of it. I almost died in Clivesdale.”

They take a simultaneous breath. “Fuck Clivesdale.”

#hatchetober #hatchetober 2020 #double E au

[ganondoodle]

you ever see an opinion you disagree with so much that your head feels like its gonna explode bc you cant even comprehend how someone can think that and then see otHER PEOPLE AGREE ????

talking about someone saying that botws colors look "washed out" and bad bc its sometimes low in contrast/saturation ??

botw is the prettiest game i have ever laid my eyes upon, and im not saying games like ori ARENT pretty, but calling botw inherently worse looking bc it isnt overly saturated/high in contrast all the time is pretty unfair ??

most of the "washed out" colors are also caused by the fog/atmospheric fog botw simulates especiallly when looking far into the distance which is a thing that they got so right botw feels much bigger than it is (to me)

and yes i get that this is a very biased opinion of mine, but it makes me so angry nonetheless

they also made some ""color corrected"" shots in which ... its just more contrast and saturation and GOD it looks so awfully plastic and much more dated/old (partly bc the low quality textures get through much more clearly than before), i realized that that is also the problem i have with aoc, bc there they actually did that as well (and possibly also got rid of most of the atmospheric fog) and whenever i saw gifs/screenshots of it i wondered why it looked so weirdly ... plastic to me and now i see why

botw has high contrast/saturation when it NEEDS to, and saying it looks worse inherently bc it doesnt have it all the time is an opinion i never thought id get so aggressive about

#personal #botw #do you look outside on a rainy day and think hmmm this looks ugly #could use some color correcting #???? #yeah yeah i get it #games dont have to be realistic #and i am a big advocate for that #bc im tired of games trying to emulate realism #but theres a difference in trying to COPY the real worlds looks #vs making it FEEL more real #im not trying to hate on the one that made the video either #we actually do share alot of opinions #but this one i couldnt forget bc i heard that the first time #and a ton of people agreed with them #SORRY but i dont want my eyes to be burned ou of my skull #when looking at a game #bc it has 500% und saturation #12 glow dodge layers #and 200% contrast #just so some people can call it pretty #more glow/contrast/saturation doesn equal prettier #like i cant articulate myself good enough to sound convincing #and i know its also an opinion #but seeing so many ppl agree broke me #rant over

[wayward-mikaelson]

Centuries-Five

Word Count: 2673

Pairing: None 

Characters: Dean, Sam, Hezekiah (OG Character-I picture him like the dude who played Laurent in Twilight and New Moon), Reader, Rowena (Known in this chapter as ‘certain witch’), Michael (Mentioned), Maggie (Mentioned), HooDoo Zombies (not sure if that’s a thing but in this world it is), HooDoo Priestess (Mentioned)

About: Dean worries that he hasn’t heard from the Reader in a week. The Reader has stumbled upon a case that has a whole town trapped not knowing what day it is. The Reader breaks free and finds herself back in Texas and face to face with Hezekiah.

Disclaimer: Language and Angst

A/N: If you are on my tag list and wish to be moved off or to different tag list let me know.

A/N 2: Tag or share to all your favorite SPN Accounts

Forever Tag List: @donnaintx​ @myinconnelly1​ @magssteenkamp​ @elansaidaris​ @440mxs-wife​ @hobby27​ 

Dean/Jensen Tag List: @akshi8278​ @sandlee44​ @squirrelnotsam​ 

*18+ CONTENT. ANYONE YOUNGER THAN THAT WILL NEED TO MOVE ALONG. I DO NOT WANT TO RISK MY ACCOUNT BEING THANOSED.

**PLEASE DO NOT COPY AND PASTE MY WORK ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY PERSMISSION AND WITHOUT GIVING ME THE PROPER CREDIT. I WORK TOO HARD ON MY STORIES FOR THEM TO BE STOLEN. YOU MAY COPY THE LINK TO THIS STORY AND SHARE IT.

***THIS WORK IS ALSO POSTED ON IG, WATTPAD, AND AO3. PLEASE GO SHOW IT SOME LOVE OVER THERE.

****GO FOLLOW MY OTHER ACCOUNTS IG, WATTPAD, AO3, AND TWITTER

*****DMS ARE OPEN FOR REQUESTS

Centuries Master List HERE 

Want to read some of my favorite fanfics click HERE

DEANS POV

"It's been a fucking week, man," I pace the kitchen holding the cup of coffee Sam gave to me. "I haven't heard from her since I called her that night." I set the cup down and rub my face.

That phone still plays in my mind. I get why YN left, I really do, but I had just gotten her back myself. I wanted more time with YN before she pulled something like this. I knew her would too. When I pleaded with YN to come back she told me she had to do this alone. She didn't want me near Michael at all. Hell, I didn't want him to come back but things kind of changed but I wanted to do this with you. Then YN said "What if I wanted Michael back because a part of me loved him? I don't want you near if that's the case. I'll call you when I can, Dean."

I hate that YN had some weird ass connection with the archangel that took his body for a joy ride. That used it to stab her. To hurt her. That used it to manipulate her to do his bidding. That used some dream to get into her pants. I shiver remembering when I found out that she and Michael had dream sex. Something that Cas told us that even though in a dream, it was real. That used it to get her killed. I just can't get on bored with YN being in love with him. I just didn't believe her and I knew she would say what ever she needed to keep me out of whatever it is she are doing.

"I'm sure she will call when she calls," Sams doesn't look up from his laptop. "Last I check her phones tracker was lost somewhere outside of New Orleans."

I look up from my coffee. "Why are you tracking her?" Then it hits me, Sam knows. YN told him she killed Maggie. "Dude, if you even think about going after her, I won't hesitate to kick your ass."

Sams looks up and I see the pain and anger in his eyes. I feel for my baby brother, I really do, but I can't let him go after YN. Sam doesn't know how freaked out she had been learning she did kill her best friend. Sam doesn't know how she hid from him in her room. "I'm not going to lie, Dean," Sam closes his laptop. "It crossed my mind a few times this last week but I just know I can't. For all we know Hezekiah, the angel that has her mind on lockdown, could have pulled the strings on this and manipulated her like Michael had."

"Then why are you tracking her still?" I ask firmly. "If you aren't planning on going after her."

Sam leans back and takes a deep breath. "I guess to make sure she's okay, since she hasn't called at all."

I sit back and let out he breath I held in. I know Sam is hurting. I've been in his place where the girl I love has died. Maybe we can find a way to bring Maggie back. I can call Rowena, but she always has some sort of condition. "You said she was somewhere outside of New Orelans?"

"Yep," Sam nods. "Then her tracker literally just fell off the face of the earth. I should also mention I did try to call her but her phone is also out of service when the account says it's still in service."

My heart just barely stops. I know she's in trouble. I get up and make my way to my room to pack. "We should go look for her," I yell towards Sam.

"I know, and she will kill you knowing you didn't listen to her," Sam yells back. It sounds like he's in his room as well packing. Even though YN killed Sam's potential love, he still cared for her. He is still looking on the bright side of all of this.

As I'm throwing things into a bag my phone rings. I look down to see an unknown number. Not many people have this number but it could be someone needing help. I reach down and something tells me that I need to answer this.

"Hello?" my voice is cautious.

"Dean?! Oh thank God!" YNs voice sounds freaked out and out of breath. "How long has it been?"

"Wait, what? Why?" I ask confused.

"I don't have time," she yelled into the phone. I stop what I'm doing and turn around to see Sam in the doorway. I mouth to him that its YN on the line. His face is covered in worry. "Tell me how long it's fucking been since we last talked!"

"A week," I'm suddenly aware of the pounding in the distance over the phone. "Is everything okay? Are you okay? Whats going on?"

I hear some shuffling and banging around. "I accidentally stumbled on a case that involves some dark and heavy hoodoo. What's been a week for you has been only a day for me. I tried to call but my phone wouldn't work. I couldn't even leave either. I killed the witch or hoodoo priestess or whatever the hell you want to call her but when I did, the town folk turned to zombies. Now I'm trapped in a room with the only working phone in town."

I zip up my bag and signal Sam that we were leaving. "Honey, where are you? Sam tracked your phones last ping outside of New Orleans. We are on our way. Just hang tight."

YN gives a small chuckle. "Of course, one of you tracked me. And yes, theres a small town outside of New Orleans but it's not on a map. But I got this Dean, you stay where you are. Theres a window I can jump out of and high tail it to my car. All the magical bearers are gone now that the hoodoo chick is dead."

The sound of banging and wood breaking kills the call. "YN?" I try to call the number back but it's dead. I look at Sam and he sees the fear written all over my face

"I'm assuming we're still going?"

"You bet your ass we are," I turn the key in the ignition and we are on the road in seconds.

DEANS POV OVER

The line is dead.

A few hoodoo zombies stumble into the room. I throw the phone aside and eye the window thats a few feet from me. This is going to hurt like hell, I think as I take a couple steps backward to get a good running start.

"This window better already have a weak spot," I mumble as I run towards it.

Taking a leap towards the window, I break through landing on a dirt and broken glass. A few shards of glass pierce my skin but I don't care. I get up and make a bee line for my car. Only to be stopped by a few hoodoo zombies. I then notice that the one trying to eat my face off has a familiar necklace on to the one of the hoodoo priestess. I yank it off and kick the thing off of me and break the crystal-glass thing to the ground. A faint glow comes from it and breaks into several tiny specks of light and going after the hoodoo zombies. Once the light touches them they all drop like flies.

"Huh," I then grab my side. I look down and see a shard of glass sticking out of my side. I know I shouldn't pull it out but I needed to. I limp over to my car and throw open the trunk where I know there is a first aid kit. I bite my lip and slowly pull out the glass. A small whimper escaping my lips.

I toss the glass to the ground and quickly cover up the already bleeding wound. I take my flannel and cut off a long piece and tightly tie it around myself. Maybe I can talk Hezekiah into healing it. I painfully get into my car and pull my phone out of the glove compartment. The battery is suddenly charged and there's service.

I dial up Deans number and press send.

"YN?!" Deans voice sounds so excited. "Oh thank God. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I get the car on the road and speed out of town. Not evening caring to look back. "I have a bumps and cuts. The Hoodoo zombies are all dead. Apparently there was a necklace that held some sort of light thing that killed them when I broke it. Similar to how I killed the hoodoo chick."

Dean sighs on the other end. "That's good. Sam and I can finally have a good night in."

"Dean," I know hes on the road. He can't hid that from me. "how far are you out of Lebanon?" Dean's silent. "Dean, don't forget I know you really well. Anyone in danger that you care about, you drop everything and race towards them."

"About an hour," Deans voice is firm and deep. "I just couldn't live with myself if I just sat back and let you die. Again."

I close my eyes. Maybe taking off was a bad idea. Maybe I should have done this with Dean. "Whatever happened in that field was not your fault. You had zero control over it. Michael hijacked your body."

I can picture Dean licking his lips and staring out the front of the impala. "Right, anyway, where are you headed?"

Right, of course he doesn't want to speak about it. According to Cas, it's too much for him. Michael is a sore spot for him. But what they all don't know, Michael is also a sore spot for me too. Despite everything I've done. The only reason I would want him back is to beat the living shit out of him.

I think back to the last words I said before this whole thing happened. I told him 'what if I wanted Michael back because a part of me loved him?' I shouldn't have said that. I even wonder why I even did say that. Yes I have or had some feelings towards the archangel. Hell, he was incredible at making love to me, almost as good as Dean. I push it aside.

"I have a feeling about Texas," I tell him. "I feel like I've driven this road before. Just keep an eye on me if you don't hear from me."

"Sounds perfect, we will make our way there then," Dean is quiet for a second. "YN, I love you. Whatever happens and whatever you find out once your memories are back, just know that. I will always be here for you. Hell, I will die for you if I have to."

I drive all night and end up in Corpus Christi early morning. I don't know why I am here, but I know I am in the right place. I send a quick text to Dean telling him where I ended up and to tell me to call me when he's at a motel. I stare at the beach in front of me and feel a pull on the mark on my side. Which reminds me that I never asked Cas to look deeper into that mark. Too late for that.

I get out and walk the beach. The pull on my mark is strong. I look up and down the beach and my eyes land on a light blue beach house. I've been there before. I walk back to my car and drive towards the blue beach house. It's not the same place I walked out of before I killed Maggie. Maybe we changed location. I don't know, But I will find out.

I get out of the car and pull out my gun. I make sure it's loaded, you know just in case I need to stun the angel. I slowly and cautiously walk up to the door. I go to knock but then I slowly put my hand on the door knob. I slowly open the door and slip inside. Dean would be pissed for doing this part alone but, I need to know if the dick face angel is in here.

The house is spotless. Almost like no one has lived in it for sometime. It's also quiet. I poke around rooms and find nothing. Then I come upon a locked room. I look around the small hallway for a key until something hit me. I sweep my hand over the top of the door frame and feel a small objet. I take it down and see that it's a small key like thing. I use it to unlock the door.

I see a room that looks like I could have slept here. The bed is all messed up. Theres clothes thrown all over the place. I guess I didn't care about what my room looked like then. I pick up the clothes and stash them all in the hamper near the closet. Something tells me that I needed to open the closet.

I am not prepared for what I see in there. There are papers taped and pinned to the walls. A list of things that make me tear up. Maggies name is on that list along with the words HAIR FROM DEAN. It's crossed out so I must have gotten it from him without him knowing. There are pages from a book about how to create a vessel without really having a body.

"What the hell did I get myself into?" I ask myself.

"I was wondering when you would come back," a voice startles me. I turn around and see a dark skinned man with dreads in the door way. "I see that wall has been activated too. So how did you find your way back if you're memory is gone."

I watch as he walked a few steps into the room. He spots the gun in my hand. "I'm assuming that you're Hezekiah," I say staying where I stood. "According to Cas, there are some holes and cracks in the wall. Could explain why I was able to find this place. He was also able to pull out one memory from me. Maggie."

"Ah, yes, the girl from Michael's world," Hezekiah smirked. "As I recall you didn't have much regret for it. You really really wanted to see Michael. Well," Hezekiahs smirk got bigger. "That's what I made you think when I brought back and refused to do what I needed." Hezekiah must have seen the look on my face. "Yep that's right, when I brought you back, with a little help from a certain witch, you flat out refused to help me get Michael back. Told me and I quote 'go die in a ditch you self righteous spineless dickless asshole.' So I toyed with your mind some and now we are closer than ever."

Fuck, I think. "So not only did you throw up a wall to cover your ass, which you did a piss poor job by the way, you messed with my mind to get you to bring back Michael. For what? Control? Power?"

"To rule Heaven, along side him," Hezekiah raises his voice. "Once he's back and finishes what he started, I can kill him and rule Heaven. With you by my side of course." He takes a few more steps towards me. What was it with angels want to rule heaven with me by their side.

"Okay, I'll continue to help, but first," I holster my gun. I know that if I don't go along with this I will die. I need to play along. "Give me my memories back."

Hezekiah looks me up and down trying to get a read on me. "You're still very hard to read." He closes the space between us. He smiles wickedly as he touches my forehead. Dean is going to be so fucking pissed.

#Centuries Story #SPN #spn fanfiction #spnfandom #spn final season #spnimagine #spn family #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural imagine #supernatural fic #supernatural family #fanfic #spnfanficfriday #dean winchester #dean winchester smut #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester angst #dean winchester x reader #dean angst #dean smut #dean fluff #sam and dean #Sam Winchester #dean x reader #Jensen Ackles #Jared Padalecki #Misha Collins #michael!dean #og character

[fluxedbuds]

can you go off about lalnable

ugly bitch idiot becomes a serial killer instead of going to therapy

But seriously, my take with Lalnable has always been more on the ‘fuck this guy’ side than the ‘poor sympathetic monster’ side. I don’t like seeing this guy woobified, especially because it tends to go some really concerning directions. I won’t get into it, because that’d be like slapping a label that says ‘come have discourse at me’ on my face, but let it be known, this guy ain’t got any excuses.

I’m not touching Lalnable’s potential childhood, because THATS a whole mess with no canon answer, but I do think he started out as pretty much a regular Lalna. Keep in mind, even the nicest, softest Lalna, FB Lalna, thought it was completely fine to repeatedly dunk a live bird in molten metal, because it didn’t die. And I think it’s pretty much still the state he’s in when he gets hired into Yoglabs.

Now, this is where you might start to think, ‘well gee, tumblr user Fluxed Buds, wouldnt it be easy for Yoglabs to twist that lack of moral understanding into something worse? wouldnt it mean its not his fault?’ And you’d be like, five percent right! The thing is, though, even Bird Torturer Lalna wouldn’t be any kind of okay with the kind of shit Lalnable ends up doing- there’s no boiling the frog situation possible, because there’s NO easy transition point into being the kind of person Lalnable becomes. At least one Lalna has quit Yoglabs because it was too evil, theres no reason Lalnable wouldn’t have been able to do the same, or at Least escape somehow. What I think happened is Yoglabs provided an environment where Lalnable could get away with doing horrible things extremely personally, and Lalnable took that and RAN.

There’s no evidence that Honeydew, Xephos, or any of the testificate scientists end up doing the shit Lalnable does. This isn’t an environment that’s forcing people to become like Lalnable, it just doesn’t provide many roadblocks. So, like Xephos lying about Lalnable being a clone, he’s lying about why he got locked up. Employee death is just an inconvenience. Lalnable got locked up for disagreeing with how cloning should work. I’ve had a post about this in the works for a while, but my theory is that Lalnable thought clones should be a brainless workforce, mostly because he Absolutely Could Not Handle the idea of another him running around without being under his control. Which, yknow, isn’t super weird of a hangup, pretty much every Lalna has it, and I’d wager a lot of real people would have similar objections. The problem is, Lalnas are stubborn little fucks, and when Xephos wouldn’t listen, Lalnable went ballistic and started fucking Everything up. So, stick him in a cage, pry him for info until you don’t need him, then put him in stasis for stable DNA.

So, the one thing Lalnable is justified about is being pissed about all that, because Xephos was a jerk and betrayed him, and also fuck Yoglabs. And thats one of three times Lalnable has ever been right in his whole life!

So, yknow, once he’s out of Yoglabs, he’s super got no excuse to kill/kidnap/enslave entire towns and whatnot, so any chance of him being sympathetic is long gone. Dude’s a piece of shit and won’t wash his goddamn clothes. But he does have some interesting psychology I can pry apart at this point!

So, first off- the name and aesthetic change, the color contacts, the voice changer- He’s trying to force control over the clone situation. He knows he doesn’t have any hope of controlling his clones, so he tries to fix it for himself by trying to make it so there aren’t copies of him running around, because he’s now different from all of them. But that sort of evolves into hatred of his original self, his real voice and name and appearance. So, that’s a little sympathetic, but he could’ve decided to be like properly goth or something so I don’t feel bad for him he looks like an idiot

Lalnable doesn’t care about justifying his actions, which does mean he’s a lot more powerful than some other yogs villains. He’s got nothing holding him back, his only setbacks are directly caused by other people fucking with him. Lalnable is legitmately a scary threat! It’s easy to forget that when we get to see so much of him being a complete failure idiot, but he’s good at what he does, and what he does is crimes and evil.

He’s also excessively focused on revenge, which I think is kind of why he ends up abandoning it in the end. He was so focused on the concept that he didn’t even realize how generally impossible and ill-advised it is. Besides the obvious issues of time loops, after he creates Five, if he actually succeeded, he’d delete Five. And for once, he doesn’t Want to destroy someone. FB4 really skipped over so goddamn much of his development, and thats REALLY annoying, but it doesn’t seem like a wholly illogical endpoint. He’s kind of driven by an impossible goal- control over everything about how the world sees him. At some point, he probably realizes that destroying every single one of his clones wouldn’t bring him any more joy than just torturing the shit out of some rando! Or, at least, it’s not worth more to him than Five.

I enjoy the Lalnable-Five father daughter dynamic a lot (because it’s literally canon Lalnable says he’s her father dont TRY me), but it takes a while to really get to that point. When he first makes Five, he’s making her like any other clone he’d make for spying. She’s just another tool, a frail attempt to steal Nano from a clone who doesn’t deserve to know her.

Oh yeah, the second thing Lalnable has ever been right about! He seriously thinks Nano is cool as FUCK. Which she is! It’s not a romantic interest for sure, I’m pretty sure Lalnable hasn’t thought about romance in like 10 years, it’s more of a fascination. I don’t think he’s really interested in friendship, but he wants that kind of power on his side, he wants to see how it works, and most of all, he doesn’t want some clone getting to even be near it. Five offering the side-switch deal to Nano was something both the Baddies agreed on.

Anyways, back to Five. While she starts out as a tool, they do end up growing closer, and for once, Lalnable isn’t a total bitch idiot about it. Unfortunately, he does spend a lot of time pointing out how Five is better than Nano because he made her, and through that making Five obsessed with Staying better than Nano, because if she’s not, Lalnable might abandon her. So, he’s Dad, but he starts out as a truly awful dad that should be dropkicked. I think Five’s confusion and fear over how absolutely focused he is on destructive and impossible revenge is part of what makes him reconsider too, although I guess we’ll never know for sure. They’re both still comfortably evil as all hell, but it’s settling into a weird sort of manageable space for the buddies, and thats probably the best we’re gonna get. Lalnable has no desire to be a good person and he never will.

The last thing Lalnable is ever correct about, is loving and appreciating Five for who she is as herself.

And then he wears those sunglasses and he stops being correct for the rest of his life.

TL;DR: serial killer develops identity issues, gives daughter identity issues, trades identity issues for a second daughter and disgusting sunglasses

#theories #alt title: lalnable is a bitch and i love him so much #seriously he doesnt give a singular shit about any law or moral #dont woobify him he doesnt want it #mdl #anon

[alicedoessurveys]

Doctor Who Tag

yes im a nerd...

CHILDHOOD

1. Did you like DW as a child?

I was 10 when it came back on telly with Eccleston and the first episode with the autons scared me so much my mom wouldn't let me watch it again until a couple years later, but yeah my teens I was obsessed with DW... still am at age 25

2. Your age at the time of the revival?

10

3. First DW episode you ever saw?

‘Rose’

4. Did you have any of the toys?

I still have the eleventh doctor’s screwdriver... I used to have some of the figures but there in storage now somewhere

5. Which DW character did you play on the playground?

didn't play it on the playground

6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child?

all of them! the ones that still scare me now are the Cybermen and the Autons... genuinely cant walk past a shop mannequin without being suspicious 

7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid?

as a kid, any of the innuendo type jokes

8. DW opinion that has changed since you were a kid?

idk I think I still have the same opinions

9. Who introduced you to DW?

parents

10. Did you like Sarah Jane Adventures as a child?

I LOVED SJA!! I miss that show, and Elizabeth Slade :(

DOCTOR

11. Who is your Doctor?

Ten was the doctor that made me fall in love with Doctor Who 

12. Your favourite Doctor?

omg why not just ask me who my favourite child is... (I don't have kids but you know what I mean) if I had to chose my top three are ten, eleven and thirteen

13. Least favourite Doctor?

purely just because he doesn't have enough episodes... nine...

14. Best regeneration?

none of them I hate regenerations :( they make me sad, im too emotionally invested in every single one

15. Do you like “Doctor-Lite” episodes?

they're not my faves

16. Who is the most human Doctor?

I think nine maybe? or twelve?

17. Best multi-Doctor story?

the 50th anniversary special 

18. Best Doctor monologue?

“Hello Stonehenge! who takes the pandorica, takes the universe. but bad news everyone, cause guess who? HA! You lot you're all whizzing about- its really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I AM TALKING. Question of the hour is, who's got the pandorica? Answer, I do. Next question, who's coming to take it from me? Come on, look at me! No plan. No backup. No weapons worth a damn. oh and something else, I don't have anything to lose. So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the pandorica tonight... just remember who's standing in your way. remember ever black day I ever stopped you and then- AND THEN- do the smart thing... let somebody else try first.”

not copied and pasted, remember that from the top of my head... its always there waiting in my mind incase I ever need an epic monologue :’)

19, What do you think TenToo/MetaCrisis Doctor is doing now?

hopefully living his best life with Rose

20. Best Doctor/companion pairing?

ten and donna 

COMPANIONS

21. Favourite companion?

Donna, Clara, Amy

22. Favourite secondary companion?

is Mickey classed as secondary? idk

23. Least favourite companion?

Ryan

24. Best TARDIS Team?

Doctor, Amy and Rory

25. Most underrated companion?

Graham, but that may just be cause I love Bradders

26. Most overrated companion?

Rose... I like her but idk, I think she gets more hype than she deserves.. don't @ me

27. Favourite companion’s family?

Rose’s mom

28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t?

idk I cant think of anyone

29. Favourite (canon or non-canon) DW universe relationship?

Amy and Rory

30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now?

wasn't keen on Bill at first but by the end I really liked her, same with Rory

EPISODES

31. Favourite episode ever?

girl in the fireplace

32. Least favourite episode?

most of Chibnall’s episodes tbh sorry not sorry 

33. Which episodes do you skip?

the regeneration episodes

34. Best two-parter?

Human Nature - Family of Blood

35. Historical, present day or futuristic episodes?

I like them all in there own way but I think present is fave, then historical, then future

36. Episode that will always make you smile?

all of them

37. Episode that will always make you cry?

Rory and Amy’s last episode :’(

38. Best run of episodes?

ugh I cant answer this theres too many 

39. Best cliffhanger?

the end of Spyfall part one when the Master reveals who he is... I was SHOOK

40. Favourite Christmas special?

Voyage of the Damned

SERIES

41. Classic Who or New Who?

new who

42. Favourite series?

four or five

43. Least favourite series?

eleven, I just cant with the writing

44. Which series do you skip?

none

45. Favourite series opening?

eleventh hour

46. Favourite series finale?

Doomsday

47. Best series arc?

Bad Wolf

48. Thoughts on series 11/12?

I adore Jodie Whittaker and her doctor, and although I think 3 companions is too many I do love Yaz and Graham (Ryan is hit & miss). I just think theyve been massively let down by the stories/writing... they’ve tried to hard to tick certain boxes and completely missed what Doctor Who is about for a lot of people.. an escape from the real world into these outrageous unbelievable but lovable fun alien adventures 

49. How much of Classic Who have you seen?

not a lot

50. Who should have had another series?

NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE 

MONSTERS

51. Favourite monster/villain?

the master 

52. Most creative monster?

Weeping Angels, whoever came up with monsters that look like statues and only move when you're not looking at them is genius 

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

Autons, Cybermen, the creepy dolls from Night Terrors, the ones from Waters of Mars, Weeping Angels

54. Monster you think is too easy to defeat?

idk

55. Least favourite monster/villain?

absorbaloff

56. Monster you want to return?

The Master, I really hope that isn't the last we see of Dhawan

57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?

being genuinely scary, 

58. Daleks, Cybermen or Weeping Angels?

Weeping Angels

59. Best Dalek story?

Daleks in Manhatten

60. Best one time villain/monster?

my brain has gone blank I cant think of an answer right now 

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures?

SJA

62. Favourite Torchwood Team member?

I haven't watched it all so I couldn't say 

63. Which Torchwood death made you saddest?

again, not watched it all 

64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?

huh

65. Favourite SJA Team member?

Sarah Jane

66. Mr Smith or K-9?

K-9

67. Maria or Rani?

Rani

68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish?

Nope

69. If you do, your favourite additional stories?

n/a

70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)?

yes

DESIGN/PRODUCTION

71. Favourite piece of alien tech?

the sonic, I love how it is so multipurpose except for when it comes to wood 

72. Favourite piece of Murray Gold music?

I am the Doctor - gets me pumped every time 

73. Favourite TARDIS design?

Ten’s Tardis 

74. Has the 2005 era CGI aged well?

actually yeah, I was rewatching the ‘are you my mummy’ episodes the other day and my God when the gas masks emerged from the faces... ooooooof I was like omg how 

75. Favourite Doctor outfit?

eleven or thirteen

76. Monster with the best design?

not really a design more of a costume.. I live Dhawan master’s costume. that shade of purple, oof he so stylish 

77. Best show runner?

idk

78. Best writer?

Gatiss

79. Best opening titles?

eleven’s titles where the Tardis is flying and being zapped is cool but thirteens music hits different 

80. Will DW age well/stay popular in the future?

I hope so, I feel like its lasted this long surely it can last forever.. if the writers don't fuck it up... 

IF YOU WERE IN THE SHOW

81. Time period you’d want to go with the Doctor?

whatever time means Id get to wear the most beautiful costumes

82. Planet/place you’d want to go with the Doctor?

Galifrey, pre-desctruction

83. Doctor you’d most like to travel with?

any of them, please and thank you

84. Companion you’d most like to travel with?

donna, sceso a good laugh but also I feel like she’d look after me 

85. Monster you’d like to defeat/fight?

The Master 

86. If you could go back on your own history (like Father’s Day), where would you go?

back to when I was a toddler, I wanna see what I was like 

87. If you could ask the Doctor anything, what would you ask?

theres too many to ask 

88. Historical figure you’d like to meet?

Shakespeare

89. How do you think you’d meet the Doctor?

id probably be rescued from doing something stupid and then the doc would be like you know what the bitch clearly needs supervision she's coming with me 

90. Would you travel forwards or backwards in time first?

backwards

IF YOU MADE THE SHOW

91. Historical event would you like to see in DW?

Hamilton

92. Issue you’d like to see addressed in DW?

idk 

93. Who would you completely erase from the DW universe?

Ruth

94. One unanswered DW question you’d love to know the answer to?

where is Clara now?

95. Actor/actress you’d like to see play the Doctor?

Phoebe Waller Bridge (or Lin Manuel Miranda)

96. Actor/actress you’d like to see play a companion?

Andrew Scott (yes I did just basically recast fleabag and hot priest)

97. Is DW “too political”?

series 11 got a bit like that 

98. Which characters fate would you changed?

Danny Pink

99. What about DW could be improved?

I think ive made my options about Chibnall pretty clear... 

100. If you could write an episode of DW, any ideas for what you’d do

bring back Jenny, the Doctor / Daughter adventures they would have. I’m actually writing a fic about it if you wanna read.... here

#doctor who #tag #doctor who tag #doctor who questions #survey