i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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DOWNLOAD \ info:
eyebrows #92 - 50 colors \ all genders & ages ♡
eyebrows #93 - 50 colors \ all genders & ages ♡
eyebrows #94 - 50 colors \ all genders & ages ♡
eyebrows #95 - 50 colors \ all genders & ages ♡
eyebrows #96 - 50 colors \ all genders & ages ♡
eyebrows #97 - 50 colors \ all genders & ages ♡
eyebrows #98 - 50 colors \ all genders & ages♡
eyebrows #99 - 50 colors \ all genders & ages♡
eyebrows #100 - 50 colors \ all genders & ages ♡
eyebrows #101 - 50 colors \ all genders & ages ♡
eyebrows #102 - 50 colors \ all genders & ages ♡
eyebrows #103 - 50 colors \ all genders & ages ♡
🔖 BOYS BOYS BOYS: EYEBROWS EDITION! Yup, 12 eyebrows for every taste!
🔖 Most of them works good for all genders btw!! 🥰
❗️️ ALL CC IS SLIDER COMPATIBLE ️❗️
LinkTree with all links where you can find me 💞
💌 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING ME 💌
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happy 2nd anniversary besties
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Things I wish women were learning from true crime podcasts: how to spot early warning signs of abusive relationships, how to escape abusive relationships, how easily domestic violence can escalate to murder, how incredibly unlikely it is to be the victim of a crime done by a complete random stranger as opposed to friends and family
What women are learning from true crime podcasts: I am in CONSTANT danger and every day I survive without being murdered by a serial killer is a miracle. I should react to everyone I meet with distrust and paranoia and live my life as if I am in mortal peril and if anyone suggests that might not be healthy then they just don't understand what it is to Be A Woman In Today's Society
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People going "Tumblr is shutting down!" kind of made me laugh cause I was like "What is going on they made an announcement?" and then I found out that they're basically saying less staff which means fewer updates and removing features that didn't go as planned and I'm like-
ok, where did y'all get this idea then-why is everyone going into mass hysteria and making something that's a 2 at worst into a 10? Then I had to remember I'm Tumblr and this is just normal Tumblr behavior.
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Melted steel. Mingled blood. Harrowhark-and-Gideon, Gideon-and-Harrowhark at last.
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i personally think that if the percy jackson series ever make it to season 10 with heroes of olympus, the "you're not my type" line said by nico to percy is going to be even funnier when will solace shows up later looking exactly like walker scobell
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