#but their bf a shitty dude and idk if they are open for relationships

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Yo Bex I have a serious question for you since I was debating it with someone:

If someone has cheated on their partner in the past, can/should they be forgiven/trusted to be faithful in the future? Either by the partner they cheated on or a future partner?

I personally believe absolutely the fuck NOT. Cheating is one of those things that's just- you don't do it cause you didn't realize it was wrong. You do it KNOWING it's wrong. Its a decision, not a mistake. Now, I'll admit that I'm biased because one of my parents was a cheater who destroyed my childhood with their lies and secrets, but I think I have a point.

Most folks I've spoken to are like "oh you're too harsh maybe they've gotten better" but Idk. I still feel like cheaters shouldn't be trusted in a relationship. What's your opinion?

I personally think the issue is very nuanced. It isn't black and white to me because so many factors are at play, it really should be judged on a case by case basis as well as up to the people involved. If someone wants to take that chance and trust the person won't ever do that again and be faithful I can totally understand that, and if someone says no and that is a deal breaker than I fully get and respect that perspective too.

But to me, it's complicated. Cheating can mean a lot. Cheating can be fucking another person when you agreed to be mono, but I have seen some people insist that hanging out alone with a member of the opposite sex as cheating, because no one can hang out like that platonically right? Gotta love the people who assume men and women can never just be friends, sex always has to enter into it somehow. I've seen people who don't want their partner to have any friends of the opposite sex, which I personally, find insane. Also gross because the idea is that you can't hang with someone you have the potential to be attracted to without SoMetHiNg happening, (What does that mean for bi people like me? I just can't be friends with anyone?)

I'm not the best person to ask as to what should be considered cheating because I am polyam, extremely sexual, and open. I know the difference is my husband and I agree to all our boundaries and someone who cheats is disrespecting those boundaries but on the real dude I have watched and gotten off on another woman riding my husband right in front of me, as well as have extremely emotionally deep and intimate relationships with just friends.

My opinion is the spectrum is broad, humans aren't so easy to place in boxes, it depends on the severity of the cheating, how often it has happened, the age of those involved. I don't think someone who cheated on their first gf/bf in high school when they were like 15 should still be judged for that shit at 20 or 30. I don't think someone who cheats emotionally via getting support from someone who helps them deal with the fact they are trapped in a situation with a shitty abusive partner should be judged harshly either. A serial cheater is one thing, a person who made a mistake they have clearly changed and grown from is another.

I agree. Cheating sucks, willfully stomping on the boundaries and trust of another person in a relationship is terrible and I don't abide by it, anyone who has been cheated on that fucking blows and I am truly sorry. But I think people make mistakes, people are capable of change and growth, always.

I consulted one of my besties who had their own home life destroyed via cheating, causing a divorce and blow up and the rest and they agree with what I said above. That it is complex and nuanced, just so you know that someone in a similar situation to yours has a stance matching mine. My life wasn't destroyed by cheating, or at least I didn't know it till this year that my birth mother cheated on my dad multiple times when I was as young as six months old before they divorced, and I still hold my stance.

My opinion is, If someone can trust that person, then why not? And if someone can't, that's fine and not a failing on anyone's part. That is my opinion Anon.

#WOOF #ANYWAY #Here's this #BHF asks #BHF advice #People are people and people are complex #Hope this helps you Anon

[stdrawberries-lemonade]

...

#oh god of fuck im having a lil gay panic here #not to bad but like i dont have anywhere to talk about it really #they follow me but they art really on tumblr #but i may have a lil crush on a friend #and im slowly developing a crush for them #it stared a few months ago #and dissapeared for a while cuz they were dating someone #but then they broke up cuz tbey were dating a shitty person #and i still have some small feelings for them #you know making up fake senarios im my head #some soft stuff like giving them smooches and holding their hand #but their bf a shitty dude and idk if they are open for relationships #and i got a lil scared cuz they said their family had to do some things #but its ok now cuz its sorted out #but i donno im like in a crush limbo #i have a tiny crush nothing real big but i donno if i tell them my feelings they are gunna like me back #ill give it like a year of me bein a dumb crushing idiot and have the beans spilled eventually #cuz i dont want me confessing my feelings to ruin our friendship #plus im sure they are in the grey romantic zone of no romatic feel sexuality area #but i just really wanna hold their hand and do that arm on the shoulder thing #and give them a smooch on the forhead and tell them i love u

[aqvarius]

idk i like my sketchy asshole voltage guys because theyre usually more interesting and otomes are where i could date them because no way im dating those kind of guys in real life???

this ask reminded me that i have a confession to make... 

so i love really mature but teasing types the most personally (huedhaut...........) but i also love sweet and fluffy osananajimi type where he’s been in love with you forever and also the 4D airheaded/my pace type where they dgaf and just say whatever they think. i like reading stories where their relationships are like generally healthy and i can gush over how well they end up resolving issues as a pair. so i guess i kinda like the anguish and drama that comes out of the premise/plotline of the route but with a love interest that doesn’t play emotional games you know? bc i have neither the time nor the energy for that both in real life and in otome games. so it’s like i have the fantasy element from the premise of the story but still a relatable/healthy relationship that i can see myself enjoying irl too. 

BUT i also love really bratty/immature/tsundere types who never say what’s on their mind and are really poor at communicating their real feelings and everything always comes out wrong until things fall apart and then they begrudgingly admit their feelings through a secret code (guess who the number one example of this is lmao!!!!) and i was wondering WHY would i like this type when real life me and these characters could never have a healthy and sustainable relationship with good emotional development? and the reason is that... i still get to enjoy that real life relateability of a healthy relationship because I AM THE BRATTY/IMMATURE/TSUNDERE CHARACTER AND THE MC IS SO EMOTIONALLY STABLE AND DEEPLY IN LOVE THAT IT REASSURES ME IRL THAT I CAN BE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY TOO EVEN WITH MY SHITTY ATTITUDE AND POOR COMMUNICATION LMAO. so anyway that was an eye-opening realisation.

but going back to your ask: dude even tho i personally love the relatable and real-life-healthy (?) aspect of otome games in terms of characterisation and relationship dynamics, i totally get the fantasy of dating total assholes. like i would never date eisuke in real life, i would straight up traffic myself to someone else to avoid being bought by him, but there’s something glorious about seeing him fall for a regular girl and just end up whipped like a meringue. also irl i would hate the whole “my bf is an asshole but he treats ME different/i’m the only one he treats well bc i’m special” bc (1) that just means that he’s not a good person and (2) what if he turned on me, bc real life people’s feelings change, but i do love that trope in fiction hahaha. who are your fave voltage assholes? and what do you think it would be like to date them in real life? 

#every time i think about dating kaga in real life i'm like uh............. i guess i'm a yakuza wife now #voltage inc #otome romance #love 365 #Anonymous #snow answers #eisuke ichinomiya #kbtbb #kissed by the baddest bidder #im only tagging kbtbb bc i want that blog exposure

[sondpyo]

𝙮𝙤𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙

a/n: y’all this is literally my first writing :// sorry ig it’s shitty oop whatever I will do a x1 boyfriend line just bcs i really want a bf rn and x1 are my emotional support kpop boys 🥺 iF you have requests then please just request !!!!! 🤭 whatevs have fun reading this and stream flash 😎

warnings: ,,,,cursing

yohan

yes

he looks really intimidating ngl and his taekwondo shit doesn’t make it better

but like,,, he’s a baby ????

he also likes to be babied u cant tell me shit like hug him, kiss him, pinch his cheeKS MAKE HIM FEEL LOVED

but before

let’s go back to where it all started : )

you and yohan actually met in a coffee shop u were working at

so one day this like tall dude came in and ordered an americano with some typa cake idk honestly

and hes like sitting down

and thats when he saw YOU

he immediately went 👀

you were casually picking up some cups and plates customers have left on the tables

and like u just felt someone was looking at you you just did

so you turned around

sUPRISE

yohan was still like 👀

so you were like ???why that mf staring at me???

his brain took about 10 seconds to process that u were staring back so it went ABORT MISSION !

he turned around quickly

you furrowed ur brows and just shrugged it off like u see weird people walking in here daily

but he was kinda cute tho,,, and u don’t see cute weirdos walk in here daily

when u went back to the counter ur co worker was like bring that shit to that guy

and u were looking at THAT guy

sUPRISE 2.0 it was yohan

so you went there and gave him his things

thats when

„ so do you come here often. ????"

„sir I work here"

„oh"

so you were just like "do you need anything else?"

and he got really shy after saying that so he just answered with a no, thank u and turned around in embarrassment

and a little smile creeped up ur lips

because he was CUTE cute

but you were kinda shy too so whAT SHOULD YOU DO

so you just left

yea

he visited the shop more often

thats when you found out he actually goes to the same college as you

so u were both talking and he finally asked for ur number

this leads to date nr. 1

absolute chaos

he wanted to actually take you out in a fancy restaurant but they somehow didn’t have his name on the guest list

so y’all went outside and it actually started raining

so yall ran to his car

and just when yohan thought he literally fucked up everything

you started smiling

and he was like huh ???

so you were like

"well ur plan didn’t go that well I guess"

he scoffed and put both of his hands onto the steering wheel

he was really confused at first but then thought that you were making fun of him which u kinda were but he doesn’t have to know 🤡

but then you suddenly said "how about we buy a family pizza and go watch a movie or something“ and nudged his shoulder with your ellbow

you know he wanted the date to be perfect and that he was probably sad it didn’t go well

and that kinda touched you because he was really trying hard

after that date you unfortunately went on another and on another and on another one

and you were slowly falling for him and his charms

not only was he opening up to you a lot

showing his funny and entertaining side

he also started realizing that he didn’t have to hide his true self from you

like he wanted to tell you a dad joke? he justfucking went for it

since then he decided

that ur his wifey 😎

so y’all have been dating for 2 years now

and in those 2 years you learned a lot about yohan

boi is shy but loves skinship

cuddling in each and every second? yes

u want a kiss? lmAo here you have 100

like he just loves showering you with love

and showering with you (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

( i sincerely apologize )

ne wa ys

he really likes holding your hand

and he has that habit of playing with ur fingers when he’s nervous

at first you weren’t like used to so much skinship

but over the years it just kinda grew on you and you were just like meh

and he loves teasing you about your height and everything

he just has to put things onto the highest shelf just so he can watch you struggle

he also loves saying things to you infront of his friend just to make you blush and watch you hide in embarrassment

well,,,, his friends

your biggest enemy is hyeongjun

one of yohan‘s best friends

it’s just an ongoing fight between you two about his attention

„listen her u poodle ass looking rat, yohan is MY boyfriend"

„who are you calling poodle ass rat you look like a recycled tana mongeau"

and ur both like 😡😡😡

so yohan is usually like don’t fight,,,,enough yohan for everyone 😎

and you‘re literally like you can keep him hyeongjun

((you and hyeongjun are actually really good friends don’t worry))

soooo

yohan also loves to give neck kisses

if your neck is in sight

hes like mwah 👄

and you act like you don’t like thEm

but we all know you do

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

the only thing is that whenever your hanging out with his friend group and he does that

everyone goes like we haAVE MINORS IN HERE

because strangely one of his friends is a 14 year old tall ass bitch that’s still going through puberty ((dohyon why u so tALL))

but friendship has no age I guess ???

he always goes to his hyungs for advice tho because what kinda advice will he get from some kids going through puberty

eunsang in the back: 😤

and seungwoo always helps him with his situations

while seungyoun just says stuff like smaSh Her !

yes seungyoun sweetie ur doing amazing

you both fighted once

where u realized that he actually looks really intimidating like you were genuinely scared of him for a second

and you‘re both kinda hot headed

so it turned out with him taking his jacket and leaving your apartment

yes,,,, a mess

you dIDNT talk to each other for two days until you phone dinged

and you were like !!!

but

hyeongjun🤥: why y’all ain’t talking

and you told him and he’s like you should just go to him like this bitch is dumb we been knew and for the first time ever you bonded with hyeongjun

so you pressed the button of his doorbell

and yohan opened the door looking all sad

he expected his food to be here

but then he saw you and he just hugged you like honestly ???? he missed you :(

so fighting with him usually lays down after 1-3 days

depends

okay but

yohan is a really good listener

like hes a jokster and everything

but when you‘re sad or upset and need to talk to someone he’s always there for you

it doesn’t matter if it‘s about a test you failed or even about the girl in your class that always gives you deadly looks

like when ur sad he usually just caresses your head/hair

and he tries make you laugh again

because he hates seeing you like that,,,you‘re his baby >:( he doesn’t want you to be sad

he eventually also buys food because he just knows that food calms you down the most

so when ur happier shoving down food ur throat than u were in his arms hes like :[ (y’all know that face)

whatevs

you and yohan have a healthy relationship

and you appreciate it a lot

because he isn’t only your boyfriend but also your best friends

so that mEanS pyjAMA PARTIES HELL YE

usually you both just chill on the coach with your pjs on and you put a face mask onto his face

„this thing burns"

„don’t be a pussy"

„you‘re literally putting acid on my face and you‘re telling me I shouldn’t be a pussy“

u usually watch Netflix after

well only you

becAUSE your beloved boyfriend is always trying to get your attention with either whining or kissing you

and sometimes he just succeeds

like the few pecks turn into making oUt

and the making oUt leads to

we all know what

the netflix movie is forgotten by now sorry sweetie

since sometimes both of you are too lazy to go to ur bed bcs ur busy duH? u fall asleep on the couch so often you both wake up in the next morning by either you or yohan falling off it eventually

i don’t make the rules, gravity does

we should come to an end

yohan is a really protective boyfriend

and he would use his taekwondo skills on anyone and everyone that comes near you

well

only when he senses danger and shit bcs he can’t just double turn fly kick hangyul away just bcs he wanted to greet you with a hug

but yes: very protective

loves you

he really does

he doesn’t care about any girl walking past him except junho but that’s another story // like his eyes are always on you and you only + junho 👀

people envy your relationship a lot

mostly girls watching him taking care of you so well

becAUSE he does care about you a lot

so be dAmn grateful

becAUSE yohan is a once in a lifetime man

and he eventually even hopes to marry you one day

so 🥺🥺🥺🥺

#x1 #x1 imagines #x1 scenarios #x1 au #x1 yohan #x1 imagine #x1 seungyoun #x1 seungwoo #x1 eunsang #x1 fluff #x1 hyeongjun

[prorevenge]

Destroy my childhood, ruin my chance at college, and laugh when I said I was homeless? Lol cool, I'll ruin your life.

Long story. TL;DR at the end.

BACKSTORY: My mother was a really shitty person. I have 4 other siblings. One older sister, 3 way younger, 3 different dads. Before I was born (im a male btw), my oldest sister was taken away from my mother when she was a few months old because she tried to stab/slice the father of my sister WHILE HE WAS HOLDING HER. She lost custody and the dude left her. Older sister goes to live with her fathers family in a different city. CUE LIL OL ME COMING INTO THIS SEXY WORLD. My dad went to jail 2-3 years after I was born for a while, I rarely saw him. He's an alcoholic if that matters. She was a single mother but she made it work and she worked hard. One of the bigger problems was that she took out all her agression and hatred of my father on me as well as work stress and etc. She dealt with sexual abuse growing up which I'm sure definitely affected her relationships and how she treated me as well. Anyways...

Cue me being abused from the age of 4-5 to about 17. Every day was hell. She was extremely strict and her perspective was warped. She was also pretty big in stature and had alot of strength. Examples of her being shitty: I've gotten beaten up badly once because HER room was dirty. The dishes weren't washed and I got beaten soon as I got home, even if there werent dishes when I left to school. If i walked too loud, id get my ass beat. She broke my nose for looking at her the wrong way on my 10th birthday when she brought me a cake I was allergic too(It had peanuts, she knows im slightly allergic but feigned ignorance..) It was more or less every day or every other day. She used her fists/elbows/extension cords/hangers/chairs/canes/bats/etc. Whatever she could find I was getting beaten with. I couldn't ever escape to my room for long because she would always call me every few minutes to get her things or to yell at me. She never drank or did drugs or anything. Whenever she was upset and I happened to be in front of her she'd kick me down the stairs to make me hurry up. She's put a knife to my neck before and had to be forcibly stopped by her bf of the time. Burned my christmas presents from other people (she didnt get me anything that year) and just other really shitty things. The only thing I will say, she tried really hard to make up for it with video games and electronics and etc. It didn't make a difference to me though, it never helped.

She controlled most aspects of my life. I got by with little petty revenges. Peeing in the lipton iced tea she drank. Rubbing her forks and spoons between ny buttcheeks before i served her dinner. Ignoring her screams for help when she had kidney stones (how tf am i supposed to help anyways??) But by the time i got to highschool I turned to alcohol. I resented her and the negative atmosphere affected who I was as a person. I started to be cold and uncaring. Calculated. She started kicking me out every few months telling me to find somewhere else to live by age 15. She sent me away to a different country for a year and tried to keep my passport but I made it back to the US with the help of the embassy and my step father (she'd already left by that time and found some other dude). I came back senior year with no credits for the prior grade which ended with me getting a GED. I spent most of the time i could with my best friend and started working shitty jobs. I was terrible at saving as i had accumulated loads of shitty habits while growing up so it didnt make much difference. She eventually told me that If i went to college, I would ALWAYS have a place to live until I finished. Cue my first 2 semesters at a 2 year college, I maintained a 3.7ish gpa. My teachers loved me and it was my escape. Towards the end of my 2nd semester during finals, i came home late one night around 10pm and my mother yanks the door open screaming in my face asking when I'll move out. I'm slightly drunk and decide to completely ignore her and walk to my room. If I opened my mouth, that day would be the day I blew up and cursed her out. I've rarely ever raised my voice at her because it never ended well. Now at this point im 19 and I've been doing school full time with no savings. Im also fairly fit and could easily take my mom at this point (Never laid a hand on her or any woman, i hate violence). I get to my room, she rips my door open, and starts yelling. I say nothing and stare at her. She walks away and called the police on me saying she thought id murder her and my younger siblings. I don't know where the fuck she got that idea from as she's the one who's nearly killed me many times.

I packed everything into a duffle bag and left 5 minutes afterwards. I failed all of my finals because I couldnt make it to my school. Things kinda spiraled and the next 2-3 years were me on and off homeless. I survived the best I could in a big city with no college degree and made alot of shitty choices due to my shitty habits. Eventually i found a profitable hobby that gave me meaning and through that i started to work my way up. Got my own apartment, had a full time job, and did my hobby on the side. I hadn't kept up contact with my mother at all but my younger sister who was old enough to have a phone found me on social media so i saw photos and such, she didn't have it anywhere near as bad but she did get beaten occasionally. My mother reached out via email all smiles asking how I've been. Now guys, ive always been envious of the relationship most ppl have with their moms so I gave her a chance and gave her a call. We talked for a few minutes and everything was civil and seemed like things would go okay but then...

She asked me what I've been up to the last few years and I told her honestly, that I was homeless for a while and struggled alot after what she did to me but I worked my way out of it. SHE LITERALLY LAUGHS. She laughed for a few seconds in a very condescending kinda chuckle and then said "I never did a thing to you so you don't know what abuse is! its your own damn fault you were homeless. So how about yo-" but by that point I hung up. I was speechless and fuming. I don't know what abuse is? OKAY BITCH. IVE SPENT TOO FUCKING LONG LETTING YOU DESTROY MY SANITY. NOW IS THE TIME.

There was a few things my mother didn't know. One, I knew for a fact that current well paying job she had was gotten on lies as she never got her college degree and lied about it on her resume. Two, I had access to all of her email accounts and cloud storage accounts since I was the one that set them up when I was younger and she never changes her passwords. Lastly, she DEFINITELY wasn't aware that from 13yrs old and onto the last time she hit me I took photos of ALL my bruises/marks/wounds/bloody noses saving them to my computer and then google drive. ON TOP OF THAT, my little sister had been sending me photos via social media of the bruises she got from my mom.

The first thing I did was compile ALL of those photos/videos into one folder. I then reached out to CPS in my city and explained that my siblings were being abused, how I was abused in the past, and that I had mountains of proof. Since ive called the cops on my mother before AND the thing that happened with my older sister, there was immediately a home visit. They arrived almost a day later with the police and coincidentally my mother was literally in the process of beating my younger sister when they were knocking. Cue an Emergency removal of all my siblings from the house and my mother getting arrested though she was released hours later. (I was getting a day to day play by play because my mothers best friend is a blabber mouth and everything my mother said she told her son who relayed it to me without either of their knowledge.) I sent CPS all the evidence and there's a legit case against my mother now. The next day I emailed and then called up her job to inform them that she had lied about having a very necessary college degree as well current events in her life which sparked a background check. She was fired days later. Say adios to 75k and a blacklist in the only industry you know how to work. I then spitefully deleted every cloud account and email address I ever made for her, which was all of them which im sure will make keeping up with alot bills and etc nearly impossible. I then anonymously reported her to the IRS because of the tax fraud she committed for years by claiming people's children that weren't hers with ALOT of detailed information since I lived with her while she did it.

So now, my mother lost all her kids and her job. Im meeting with a caseworker from CPS next week to talk more about what happens moving forward but I do know they're NOT going back. Idk how she's gonna pay her mortgage now and survive. I'm sure she's gonna get a call from the IRS who'll be looking for a few thousand dollars she owes them. She also has to go back to court in a few months, not exactly sure what she was charged with but ill update when I find out how everything turns out.

Side Note: She isn't aware im the cause of any of this. I plan on keeping tabs on her and waiting until it seems like she's close to death before I tell her it was all me and I peed in her lipton.

TL;DR - My mother abuses me badly for most of my life as well as my younger siblings. I have to drop out of college and support myself after she drove me to homelessness. She proceeds to laugh at me about me being homeless and denys abuse. So I ruined her life by getting my younger siblings removed and her arrested, making her lose her job, reported her to the IRS, and essentially set her up so that the remainder of her life is full of disaster and hardships.

(source) (story by howbout_that_lipton)

#prorevenge #by howbout_that_lipton #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story #last10 #updated

[asynca]

hey, i dont really know what to do right now but me and my bf of a year just broke up. it was bc i cheated (we're poly and i misunderstood some things) and it finally reached its breaking point. i know i screwed up and he does too, but this being my first breakup im absolutely lost. we also promised that we would stay friends (and that in a couple months we would reconvene to talk about if we should get back together or not) but idk how to really go about that(1/2)

(2/2) or if we should just stay friends or how to even STAY friends and not fall back in love with each other..i just dont know how to cope and if we really should try and get back together. for reference we both still love each other and still see our futures together, but im not sure of anything anymore. any advice you have would be great auntie

(poly breakup guy 3/3 whoops) i guess also it should be important to mention that i dont have many friends outside of him, and he was a huge part of my social life so im also struggling with that since its summer break too and my social anxiety is bad. just its an all around tough situation and if you could give any advice im more than open to it.

Ah, dude, I’m sorry. What a tough situation you’re in!

Your first break up is always horribly, soul-wrenchingly painful because not only are you experiencing a really awful emotion for the first time, you have no experience dealing with it. It sucks. You will quite likely cry every night, feel like you’ll never be happy again and think you’ll never find anyone like your ex again. 

Let me reassure you, however, you’ve probably got lots more awful break-ups ahead of you! (lol) Seriously, though. The pain of a break-up in most cases fades quite quickly and in a year’s time you’ll hardly even remember what this feels like, because you’ll have moved on. In the meantime, distract yourself with immersive things you love like games, or TV series or whatever. Surround yourself with people who love you: you’re lovable. You’ll be loved like you were loved by your ex again. 

Re: your current predicament. The first thing I will suggest you do is take full and completely accountability for anything which you know is your fault. That doesn’t mean absolving your partner of things that might be his fault: but if, as you were fucking someone else, you sort of knew you were doing the wrong thing: own it. You made that decision to do it anyway. You made the decision to break the rules you agreed to and in doing so, cheated on your partner, betrayed his trust, and created a situation that catalysed the end of your relationship. Own it. 

There’s beauty in that, though: because in owning that decision, and fully accepting that was your decision, you’re actually also understanding that next time, you can make a different decision. Because it was your decision to do that, it can also be your decision to never do that again. You’re in control of that. Next time the opportunity to cheat arises, you can rest assured you’re not going to make that decision again. 

However, there’s a bunch of stuff here that you don’t fully control, and that’s what happens to your relationship from now on. 

Honestly? Many relationships that end due to broken trust don’t mend. Even if you do get back with the person who you cheated on/who cheated on you, the trust never really returns and the relationship is usually different forever. That’s not to say it can never work - obviously it can - but it takes a lot of work and it’s possible your partner may not be willing to take that risk, as is his choice. 

If you’ve sat down with him and asked him honestly if he wants to get back together with you in the near future and try to work towards repairing the relationship and he doesn’t say a resounding ‘yes’, I would be very hesitant to invest any hopes in rekindling your relationship. 

Instead, spend some time investing your energy and love into your friends and family who you may have spent less time with in the year you were with him. Build up other support networks in the absence of him; this is always good for you. 

When you don’t feel so lost and insecure and you’re not desperately grabbing at the relationship to feel whole and stable again, you might find that you think your relationship ended for the best. Even if you don’t, having someone (or several people) who aren’t him who can support you set you up for getting over him, anyway. 

So, yeah: this is your first break-up and they fucking suck. Almost everyone has endured one and recovered from it, though, even people who were wracked by guilt for things they might have done wrong. You’ll recover, too. It’s just going to really suck for a little while, so take care of yourself. 

And yeah: you fucked up. But it’s done now, you can’t fix it, so accept it happened but FOR GOD’S SAKE forgive yourself!! There really is no value in being wracked with guilt forever - it doesn’t fix what happened. Every time you catch yourself feeling shitty about it, say, “I’ll do better next time”, and leave it at that. Wallowing it guilt is bad for you and achieves nothing

#ask auntie asy #relationships #breakups #break-ups #Anonymous

[byul-bit-arae]

Boyfriend Taeyong

“When I fall in love, it will be forever.  Or I’ll never fall in love. In a restless world like this is–   Love is ended before it’s begun. And too many moonlight kisses, Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun."

*Silently slides this across the table and leaves* I'll just leave this here.

.

.

Ok but

Ok ok ok 

*Grabs tissues, blankets, desserts* gotta get real ready for this now

*Pushes up virtual glasses bc I always forget to wear mine shh we don't talk about that* boyfriend taeyong you say?

Well I saY GTFO I DONT WANNA DIE OF TOO MUCH FEELS SIS

Ok jk come back ere I would die everyday for one (1) human being and that's Lee Taeyong

.. wait wat

Anyway

This kid dude is literally t h e best bf you could ever have like what ????

You see all those shitty posts/texts/ads about perfect boyfriends??? Yeah just like that

Or maybe better

Way better

Taeyong would love you with A L L OF HIS HEART 

He's basically a five-year-old who only sees you, and like, nothing else.

Except for chocolate but like, nothing else

Like before you guys start dating

And that would probably be a GOOD while bc this pure lil child doesn't even know what dating is (no I'm serious have you seen that article)

Srsly tho 

Not just that but he seems to me like the type to take relationships very seriously 

Like blind dates and one night stands wouldn't be his thing, he wouldn't fancy them and just, no

He probably believes in those fictional perfect love stories

And is well aware it might take time to find the right person and is okay with waiting his whole life for it

He just secretly hopes it's soon k

And then he meets u

And wow Lee Taeyong the quiet cold-ish dude who?

More like LEE TAEYONG THE CUTEST FLUSTERED AWKWARD BALL OF FLUFF

When he saw you the first time he could swear he got like star struck or something

He gets all flustered at everything you do and he doesn't know why

Like WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY AM I BEING LIKE THIS WHAT IS THIS 

BODY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

BRAIN WHAT IS THIS MESS

HEART STOP POUNDING LIKE CRAZY OKAY THANKS

Like you smile and he's a mess, you just sit there and he's a mess, you pout and he's a mess, you look at him and he's a M E S S ™

And he doesn't even know why bc he never felt like this towards someone

He'd probably meet you through one of the members

Yuta, your close friend, finally decided to introduce you to his 'brothers'

He calls them his brothers but then it took him like three years to introduce you guys bc he's one hell of an overprotective best friend, or mom, over you

"Hey guys I can't believe I'm doing this but this is my little cute precious best friend Y/N and no you can't talk to her"

"Um yuta pls calm down"

Anyways

So the first meeting goes on great I mean the guys are all super kind and funny 

And so you start meeting them more often!!

And Taeyong--

istg this kid--

Like he sees you, and some fictional chibi monster starts gnawing at his insides

#SaveLeeTaeyong2k18

Like you noticed how he's kind of quiet around you and stuff but then yuta reassured you saying he's just a bit introverted and it'd take him time to open up

Bc tbh you actually thought he didn't really fancy your presence?? Since he looked really quiet and basically expressionless? and you'd like catch him glaring holes into your head from the corner of your eye??

BUT GURL LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT HE IS JUST WAY TOO WHIPPED HE KEEPS STARING DROOLING AT YOU

IT'S JUST THAT HIS POKER FACE LOOKS A BIT INTIMIDATING

BUT HE'S REALLY ALL UNDER YOUR SPELL OK LIKE YOU'RE SOME FALLEN ANGEL OR IDK OK.

ANYWAYS.

So it'd take him some time to start being comfortable around you

Considering that he's an introvert; a whipped introvert to be exact

But eventually you guys will get friendlier

And that would make him know more stuff about you and wow he never thought he could like you even more but here we are ??

Also the way you take care of the dreamies just !!! Makes his heart go !!!!!!

You just find them really cute and feel the need to protect them from all evil

Also winwin, bc take notes, winwin invented cute 

And how you'd be especially close to mark 

And you'd be his fav noona too

Aw.

And how you're so so kind w the older guys too

And Taeyong just-- admires you so so much

Bc he loves his friends so dearly and the fact that you love them too and take care of his beloved ones makes him so happy, he just appreciates it a lot

And legit keeps staring at you from a distance with a sweet smile as you put a scarf over jisung before he goes out or you hand winwin a new book about Korean poetry that you bought for him

And then probably Johnny passes by and lightly smacks his head to wake him from his day dreams and whispers

"Dude stop that's so creepy"

Oh btw

Everyone in the dorm knows about his crush on you

E V E R Y O N E .

Probably even their pets

This child is so bad at not getting flustered at the mere thought of you someone protecc

And the guys tease him the whole time omg

Like even the younger ones

He swears to ground them like ten times a day but ends up forgetting bc he'd be so flustered

AND SO ONE DAY 

You probably get left in the dorm alone w him

Don't ask me how yuta agreed to that ok I might be the author but evEN IDK K BYE.

And so you start chatting

Probably while cleaning the mess made by another seventeen wild horses

And you both find it funny how at first you were so so distant and awkward

And now here you are casually picking up chenle's underwear from the floor and throwing it with the laundry

And you tell him how you thought he was unfriendly at first and he laughs it off

And he tells you how he watched how you treated his brothers before opening up to you

And you're like ooOooOOoH so that's why, I thought you were glaring @ me and you actually hated me

And ty would literally snap like ARE YOU KIDDING ME I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS DEEP IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE MY WHOLE LIFE---

And you're like wait what

And he's like wait what.

DING! NEW LEVEL OF SOFT UNLOCKED

HE WOULD BE LITERALLY FREAKING OUT AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY HIS BRAIN WOULD BE ALL LIKE UNKNOWN ERROR ABORT MISSION A B O R T MISSIO--

"Taeyong it's okay I like you too

It's actually really relieving since I thought you didn't feel the same so I was a bit gloomy"

And then he apologizes for the misunderstanding

And at that moment jeno barges in and he's like um sorry am I interrupting something

And before you say anything he's like oh shit I'm really interrupting something sorry BYEEEE

But then he opens the door again and he's like okay ONE last question hyung did you ask her out yet

And ty is like jeNO I SWEAR TO GOD

And then when jeno leaves bc he realizes he needs to run for his life or else he'll spend the night in the streets,

It's really awkward before you're like

"so uh.. how about we grab some coffee? Like a first date?"

And taeyong tries his best to muster up a good answer until the word "date" leaves your mouth and he's like 1010101010011101 error shutdown sorry.

Anyways so you go out to this cute coffee shop and that's your first awkward date full of tingling feels and chibi monsters gnawing on your insides.

You probably frequent that coffee shop a lot more often after that

Bc coffee shop dates w taeyong are just so adorable

And he's adorable

*mark silently dragging my crying whipped ass away*

Arcade dates are also your thing

Since he's a little bit too obsessed with games

He loves museums too so he'd bring you to a lot of them

Especially art museums

And you're like why should we go when I've got a whole piece of art in front of me

And he blushes and smiles

Late late night dates

Where you just walk around like fools at like three in the morning bc neither of you could sleep

And you probably grab some ice cream

Okay I'm making it sound like you'd be such an outdoor couple when you're not lmao

Okay not rlly

But my point is that you'd prefer cuddling in bed all day over any of those

Not only in bed but really everywhere

Y'all are just so cute and soft

Skinship skinship and a lot of skinship

He can't stay like ten seconds without touching you

idk like he has to grab your hand or hug you or have you hug him or juST BE IN PHYSICAL CONTACT W YOU OK LIKE HE MIGHT DIE OR SMG OK

But there are some small cute things you notice he likes

Like back hugging you when you're doing literally anything

Like you'd be cooking or washing the dishes or freaking wiping away the dust or just looking out the window and he'd waddle to you as if his skinship'o'meter is hitting a critically low level and he needs urgent recharge

He'd then slowly wrap his arms around you so so gently yet you still feel like his whole world depends on that hug

90% of the time he'd rest his chin on your shoulder

Okay not his chin but technically press his lips against your shoulder, crook of neck, neck, collarbones, hairline, the skin behind your ear, your jawline, basically anywhere he could reach

Like they aren't even kisses his lips would just ever so softly ghost around your skin and his nose would nuzzle your crooks

You're dead if you're ticklish

He also likes intertwining fingers

Like not even all fingers but two or three

He'd love link your index and ring fingers as you walk, lay around and whenever he holds your hand which is often

He love love loves when you play with his hair

Kittyong anybody?

Esp as you praise him

Or you cup his cheeks and then your hands slowly creep to his ears and then to play with the hair on the back of his head

Or simply when you're laying down as he rests on your chest

He looooves doing that

Like he doesn't even care if you're boobless he just really loves that 

Sometimes while having really deep conversations

Or when you're cheering him up if he's ever having a rough time

Like you'd gently caress his hair as you tell him all the things you love about him

If he's really really down he'd silently cry and hugs you tighter 

And then end up falling asleep to your soft soothing voice and touch

He's usually very cheerful and hyper though

You'd love spending time in the kitchen tgt

Flour fights aren't that common bc he's usually tidy but they do happen so watch out

He loves cooking for you

And LOVES when you cook for him

Like even the simplest things

You don't really have to be that good at cooking like you'd crack him an egg and he'd be as happy as if you've served him a full course meal

He'd teach you how to cook but wouldn't let you do it like tf

He says to use those skills when he's not home

Although whenever he's leaving for some time he'd stack up the fridge w food that would probably last a year

Very random kisses

Like very random listen to me

You'd be like watching TV or something and he'd suddenly turn and peck your cheek then go back to watching

And you're like ?????

And he's like nothing I just wanted to do it

And you're like ????? uwu

Man I could talk about him all day but no one can afford this 

This is already way longer than all my other boyfriend posts wsdswdsdwdswdws

He just wants to be loved okay give my boi some sarang

Just kidding give him all the sarang lmao

.

.

No really I'm serious.

#nct #taeyong #boyfriend taeyong #lee taeyong #taeyong fluff #taeyong headcanon #taeyong scenarios #taeyong drabbles #taeyong imagine #taeyong reactions #nct 2018 #nct dream #nct 127 #nct u #boyfriend nct #nct as boyfriends #nct imagines #nct headcanon #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #nct reactions

[hankeliza]

Hate to be cliche, but here goes.

This decade has been some shit. 2010. Best year of my life. I’m 17, I have my soul mate and best friend every single day of my life. No bills and making way too much money. I got the love of my life, Rome. I am so cool in my mind and just life was fucking GREAT. I met corbin that year and I was legit in absolute bliss.

Feb 2012 my best friend moves to fl and that was so great but I am in absolute shambles. I am lost I am unhappy. This is where it all goes wrong and only now, 8 years later do I realize the codependency issues I had with jenna. I fucking loved that chick from the depths of my goddamn soul, we could speak and make decisions and plans with just locking eyes for a blink of a second. So bc I am sad, lost and unable to make sense of my selfish and immature feelings, I take it out on her and a whole slough of klonopin. Corbin and I are doing bad and this is when it should’ve ended.

April 2012 (hah time is funny af) I do some shady shit, but not to the magnitude it was portrayed. Life moves on and I get back with corbin. This is my new person to rely on. I need him bc he stuck thru it with me and gained my whole hearted trust that he loves me, even when ugly and I love him through all of his ugly. We are ugly and we are in love and nothing in the world matters to me anymore besides him.

Oct 2012 I finally am ready to move outta stc. But corbins with me. I beg and beg and beg to please go to Tampa but nah, we go to Miami. It’ll be easier, Adam will take us in. He still is this big mature, always with it guy, I don’t know him, that’s why. We get there, nothing much to even talk about. Great times but eh. Leavin it at that. Shit happens and we get out of dodge like some fuckin thief’s in the night. Drive two days to portland. I won’t get into all the beautiful shit I saw bc that’ll take too long but, here we are.

I live with a naked hippie that is actually psychotic and oh, later on turns out she’s making us pay for a house SHE IS SQUATTING IN. But anyway, things happened (again adam) and we move to the city city. Won’t even get in to the shit that transpired there, but now I’m moving back home.

Feb 2013 (wow really seeing some timelines matching up of my most unpleasant times of my life?!¿¡) so I’m back home. I don’t sleep, I don’t eat. I think I weighed 110 while standing 5’8. My dads on parole, only time I see sunlight is when he needs to meet with his PO. Nicole nurtures me and literally does everything in her power to make me be better, but I am not ready to feel happiness or bond with any other human. I am not ready to move on or up or out. I am stuck. Corbin moves home. Ahhh yes. My safety blanket is back and I can be happy again (hahahah)

So in the meantime while I was sad Nicole and I are partying, late nights to meijer and rite aid, getting high and snacks and shit is just fucking awesome. She meets the love of her life and he takes her and even me in to his whole friend crowd and I am HAPPY and feel bliss again. I have friends? Imagine that. They fall madly in love and then heh, they move. Well shit. Now mind you I have totally capability to see them whenever I please bc Nicole is an open door policy. But truly I’m lazy, I like convenience and still wrapped up in my own stupid bitchass, (that I can now see, but then couldn’t) and it’s back to corbin and I.

So now it’s getting close to end of 2013 and all I pretty much do is spend every waking moment with corbin. I don’t mean to make that sound so awful, then I loved it. Now, it’s all so bleak.

2014 hits. I’m in and out of jobs. Corbin and I live off of pop can returns. I’m still 21 so like, none of that mattered and I didn’t care about a future. He gets a job and I finally get into the courthouse. We start doing ~molly~ heavy. Locking ourselves in a bedroom from Friday-Sunday. Every weekend. When you hear “ecstasy/drugs ruined my sex life” from older people, you don’t really know what to make of that. When I tell you drugs ruined our sex life and our likeness for each other, now I fucking get it. I stopped smoking weed 24/7 bc I was paranoid of losing my job. Not much more to that year or 2015 than chemical pills and being locked in a room and outdoor adventures with my dog.

2016, I finally convince corbin to {for the love of god} attempt to get his license back (which he did, and then ruined again, but that comes later) so we’re really making moves, honestly for us we were doing shit. We had a marker board calendar AND meeting our goals/deadlines !!! His dad gets oxys, and we’ve been borrowing his Vicodin for idk, a year or 3 at this point. This is kinda when things get fuzzy. But oxys come and got damn do they feel good. But only recreational. It wasn’t serious then.

Corbin gets prescribed adderall. Not much more we need to dive in to with that jazz but oxys and addies were all we ate until about the end of 2017. Pills are gone. Let’s fucking driiiiink.

2018

So I developed an alcohol issue at this point. Still battling it to this day. But I don’t really remember much. Did some cool shit, went to Europe. Met a girl that I’ve never loved kissing more. She was nuts. I moved out of our apartment we got together and back home, re-up w/ Rickey, we have fun. He cheats on me with the girl he got pregnant and neglected (they’re engaged now, congrats guys) I’m completely broken and alone because at this point i have managed to push every waking soul away from me and experience the weirdest fucking shit ever that I can only explain as spiritual, or maybe it was satanic. It burned and hurt and scared the ballsacks out of me. Can’t kill your self if you’re a pussy, turns out.

I spent this whole year trying to find friends, wrong crowd. I developed a relationship with a coworker who still to this day has my heart and soul and I love him and will always hope the best. He is the greatest comfort I had but it was only ever from 5pm - until we finished having drinks and sex and then back to being alone. I even confessed my confused love for him and he set me straight. He showed me more about being strong than anyone ever. I love you D.

The end of September I finally meet up with a dude I can’t take my damn eyeballs off for years. I finally mustered up the courage after making excuses for about 2 weeks why I couldnt meet up with him. So I come over. It’s raining so hard. I couldn’t find his house. I just wanted the god damn dick, and go home. He didn’t let that happen.

We see one another mainly every single day except Wednesday’s because he has plans that day every week. I tried my hardest to ghost him multiple times but he didn’t let that happen either. We are both drinking a lot because we are both sad but our company really really reaaaally made up for the sadness. He is the funniest person I’ve ever met and I think he thought that about me too.

November 21st comes and he is being weird and I am constantly nervous around him so I get weird bc I think I did something or he’s gonna tell me to go home, I didn’t know. He finally says he wants to be my man, like full time man. I have a bf? I don’t want one but something about you is fckin freaky you beautiful boy. Everything is coming together.

And here we go: December 21. 1 month is all it took to mess it up.

Leaving my work party, ironically after getting all of my drinks bought for me :) , I go to jail. Jail was not as bad as I expected. I was a good criminal so I got to sit in a different room w/ a tv until shift change. Oh and ! my high school classmate was a worker there so that was neat ! (jesuschrist) anyway; dont have Laynes number memorized, my family and I just watched my grandpa die, gasping for air 10 day prior. Can’t call my mom. Scared to call my dad (who was the nicest of anyone) soooooo corbin it is. I dealt with his jail problems time after time so, his turn I guess.

Welp it’s 2019. Not much to say. Layne stuck through all of it with me and I have no fucking clue why. Got a therapist. Stopped drinking whiskey completely. Bought a vacuum and couch. Live with my way too supportive boyfriend. My family fucking loves him. I am .... growing ? stronger ? mentally ? as every day passes ? because of him ? He teaches me so much about moving on, life and just thinking before doing. Life ain’t that serious. I love you Layne. I completely do. I started alcohol classes and I went in with such a shitty attitude, like I’m better than everyone? (Been my issue for, forever) I fucking love my group sessions. I am for once not alone with the unpopular shit I struggle with. Addiction is so real and I always thought it was a stupid ass excuse for being lazy but hahhhhhh karma loves me.

I’ve been struggling so hard with jenna. I have talked to a handful of people and most have said it’s been blown out of proportion but, don’t hurt your friends. I finally fucking wrapped it up when I got ahold of her, tried to anyway, before Christmas. I explained a lot, now that I’ve had years to sit back and reflect on myself and my bullshit and I can’t blame her (side bar: she still didn’t care lol.) But I am fuckin over it. My feelings got hurt to absolute fuck about some things and instead of being mature, I fucked her over, because I felt fucked over. But I’m sorry, I did that, I take responsibility and best wishes forever but an anvil weight has finally been lifted off my chest and I feel like I can finally move the fuck on and it’s such a great feeling to get rid of something that’s been eating me alive.

So basically, the last two years ate me the fuck alive. This year I meditated on shit. We will see how 2020 goes but I am ready considering what I’ve done to myself, been through and I still am fucking alive and trying. Being a human is dumb but it’s aight sometimes. Getting better. Good luck y’all.

[bpdsafespace]

okay just gotta rant right quick

so once upon a time 7 years ago (i was 16, i’m 23 now) my first boyfriend broke up with me because he needed space and what-not you know the usual line they give you when they want somebody, just not you and he was sleeping with this girl like two weeks later (mind you, we were dating for 6 months and i didn’t sleep with him because he was my first boyfriend and i was like terrified and stuff, wouldn’t even give him a blowjob which is probably why he liked her better but :) don’t even wanna get into that) and this girl wasn’t really friends with me but she was the kinda girl who said i love you to everyone so she was always like I LOVE YOU to me and i’m like haha okay this girl is wild. meanwhile i found out she was sleeping with my ex-boyfriend and i was like wow fuck you but whatever, i was more mad at him. months passed and i ended up being best friends with this girl… how you ask? well, her and my ex broke up and i was like LET’S BEFRIEND THE GIRL HAHA SCREW YOU JOE (my ex) and anyways yeah we were bffs and everything was great and i loved her a lot, she ended up being cool and we’d rag on my ex all the time and it was a great friendship.

fast forward about six months later and i started dating this new guy and this girl’s starting to sleep around and i’m like ah none of my biddnezz w/e girlfriend you do you but she ends up hooking up with this guy who has no interest in being in relationships (i ran into him recently and his number is SEVENTY EIGHT NOW. SEVENTY EIGHT) and i specifically remember an instance where she had a party at her house and everyone was drinking and she made everyone leave DRUNK because she decided she wanted to drive to see him instead of host her party people were counting on her to host. so i’m starting to see the warning signs again that this girl is wild like she’s just an unreliable person and i’m not mad at her for the joe thing but like i know that’s the kinda person she is. so soon after this girl tells me that my boyfriend was flirting with her, now of course i’m like ahhh there’s my girl, always thinks every guy is obsessed with her. maybe i was being a bad friend but i mean, everyone knew she was like that and it’s not like my boyfriend tried to hook up with her… so alright. anyways. my boyfriend HATED her for telling me anything, called her a liar and shit, and i was like okay buddy calm down it’s not a big deal you’re just a flirty person, i’m not mad and i still like her. then some crazy shit started happening like she started cutting herself because of that boy who slept with everyone and she sent a mass text to all of us that she was killing herself and shut her phone off. obviously (or not obviously at the time for me because i never knew it was a thing) the girl has bpd. and even though it was totally attention-seeking behavior, i was like this girl needs attention. so i drove to her house and she was literally just sitting in her room. like no blood, no screaming, no anything. so i’m like. alright. idk what to do. she wouldn’t even speak to me or appreciate the fact that i showed up. my boyfriend ended up swaying me that she wasn’t worth me being friends with and now, five years later dealing with bpd hardcore i’m realizing that that was wrong of me to leave her like that. i realize that. but i also realize that sometimes you have to do what’s best for yourself and she wasn’t good for me. i couldn’t trust her and who wants to have a friend they can’t trust? everything was always about her and she always chose boys over me. and i still thought she told me my boyfriend was flirting with her just to make me upset. add in the fact that she sent her sex buddy some kind of naked video and told him he could show my boyfriend, it just ended up being a mess. so my boyfriend and i broke up and a couple months later i hang out with her again and she tells me SHE SLEPT WITH JOE. and i’m like lmfao that’s wild ok and i’m not mad about it but later i realize wow that’s kinda shitty ok because she always told me she never cared about joe but it was OBVIOUS that i did. but none of my business i guess, ya know, like i guess i don’t have a reason to be mad. even though i kinda do idk whatever. i had a falling out with her again and i don’t even remember why but i don’t think it was bitter.

so i ended up DATING joe again cause i’m a fuckin idiot but HE’S MY FIRST LOVE~~ I LOOVEEE HIM~~ i’m dumb. v dumb. anyways i date him for a good two years and then he ends up cheating on me 3 times with his best friend’s sister and she TELLS ME and i’m like no way you’re a liar and i knock tequila out of her hand all over the floor and my boyfriend is legit CRYING and i’m like fuck her and the next morning, i clean it up because i feel so bad and her brother lets me do it as if i was acting crazy and it’s because HE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME IT WAS TRUE!! and anyways that was fucking wild but i push it to the back of my mind and continue to date him for six months later until he cheats on me AGAIN and then breaks up with me because he “needs space” and “is so stressed out” and literally bitches at me for telling him i can’t be here for him right now because my friend’s grandfather just died and i have to be there for her, like basically uses that as an excuse to break up with me because “i don’t care about his problems” and “he needs to be alone to figure it out” and wowee the whole deal was wild, i felt like i was in a movie!! because i found out he was dating someone else like two days later! like? i’m getting soooo pissed right now just thinking about it and yet this is still the guy i’m hooking up with and loving to this day!! I’M STUPID!! anyways

i end up at michelle’s house (my friend not-friend whatever she is who dated joe after me when i was 16) like six months after this happens because a couple of my friends are friends with her still and i thought it’d be awkward but it actually wasn’t like i told her the stuff my ex did and wow writing this i’m realizing the only shit we had in common was my ex!! like lmao i just liked shit-talking my ex with her! so we become friends again but not really friends like i’d see her/hang out with her once in a while. this was a year and a half ago. so everything was fine between us like we were cool but i knew for certain that i wasn’t going to get close to her again and i thought i had a good reason for it. didn’t i? or am i just overreacting? like sometimes when you have history like that with people you can never get that trust back in a friendship and like.. is it wrong for me to not trust her..? or? idk i always had this super paranoid feeling in the back of my head that she was going to hook up with joe again and then she told me that she hung out with him and he “was trying to hook up with her” and i asked joe about it and he’s like haha! that’s funny!! because i thought SHE WAS TRYING TO HOOK UP WITH ME!! so i’m like omfg this is so much fucking drama man what is going on

so fast forward to this new year’s. i end up hanging out with a few of my friends and michelle. everything is cool until we get back to one of my friend’s houses and michelle starts yelling at me about joe. like straight-up. first she’s telling me i deserve better and stuff. and i’m confused because like yeah i’m on and off hooking up with joe but 1. we’re not getting back together and 2. how do you know that? then she goes as far as to be like “JOE WILL NEVER CHOOSE YOU. HE WILL ALWAYS CHOOSE ME OVER YOU.” so i’m drunk and i run out of the room crying because wow that was so mean? and i’m sorry but joe will never choose you over me lmfao like i know he did when i was 16 but you were just a fuckbuddy. like i’m sorry. but joe and i have YEARS of history together. so whatever that was just a really mean thing to say and it confirmed to me that she thinks every boy is obsessed with her and is constantly trying to get in the way of my relationships. so the next day she texts me and apologizes and i forgive her immediately because i’m like okay yeah i get it, she was trying to look out for me. but then i think about it later and i’m like wait… i’m actually mad. so i tweet: “Someone: *treats me badly* Me: *forgives them immediately* Me 2 weeks later, eyes snapping open at 3 am: you know what?? I’m mad at you.” and apparently she’s mad that i tweet that and idgaf if she knows it’s about her because i’m actually making fun of myself for being like this, not her.

so i see her in the bar again last weekend and i’m like to my friends, “DON’T LET US FIGHT.” and they’re like ok but whattaya know, we end up in a fight again. and she brings up THE BRAN (my other bf) SITUATION, basically claims it’s my fault she ended up in a psych ward because of it (uh, no, you were cutting yourself and stuff because of that boy you were having sex with, not because of me bye). so i apologize but apparently my apology wasn’t good enough like i was rolling my eyes or something which i don’t remember doing but I WAS DRUNK. and she doesn’t apologize AT ALL when i go “so you slept with joe to get back at me” - instead she’s like “YOU’RE MAD AT ME OVER OLD STUFF” and i’m like ?? i’m not mad at you over that stuff?? i just know i can’t trust you because of it. that’s different. and you’re the one bringing up old stuff?? like. then on top of that, i tell everyone i’m obsessed w one of my friend’s coworkers that is about to meet up with us and immediately after meeting him, she tells my friend she’s going to fuck him. so i’m like… SERIOUSLY? THIS GIRL IS AT IT AGAIN IS THIS FUCKING SERIOUS

so i tell joe. and he’s like dude you gotta call her out for that shit. so i’m like alright I WILL. so i text her. and she gets all defensive like i didn’t know you liked him and blah blah and again continues to tell me i have a secret hatred for her and that i’m so petty and ridiculous for not just bringing it to the surface. and i’m like wtf i don’t have a secret hatred for you (in my head i’m like: i just don’t trust you… and you’re rude as fuck to me when you’re drunk). then eventually she stops answering me and i’m left like… okay wow great cool, now i feel like shit because every time i stand up for myself i feel like shit!! because people always have a justification for everything they do and they come back at me with stuff i do and it’s just kinda like :) maybe i do deserve all of the ways they treat me :) but like… i didn’t deserve new years. and now i feel bad too because maybe i do have a “secret hatred” for her, like is that what she calls not trusting her? and i only threw the joe thing in her face because she threw the bran thing in my face? so? like? idk now i feel like i’m a horrible person and a liar because i told her i wasn’t mad and now, again, i’m left… mad. and i can’t say anything else because at the end of the day i don’t even want to speak to her anymore because we never see eye to eye and our best friend days have been over for four years now and i don’t need someone like her in my life. but it would be nice to go to the bar with my friends and see her and be civil with her. idk why she always gotta start a fight. now everything is awkward and this happened almost a week ago and i still think about it constantly and i don’t know what to do like should i apologize now i feel so bad and i hate when people don’t like me

#v personal #and very long #but full of drama if you're into that #my life is a soap opera #read more

[ditzydisko]

Am I overreacting? My bf had this friend who creeps me out. He's just done creepy shit over the course of a year and only recently he was petting a dog in my lap and getting his hand a bit too close to the inner part of my thigh like it was nbd. He also will bump into me without warning with no "scuse me" and went out of his way to unlock and open a car door for me. Like thanks but like no don't do that? Plz?

My sometimes answers my questions by avoiding them or telling me what I wanna hear bc he assumes I'm setting up a trap to yell at him or something and I don't fucking do that. I know he's had issues with shitty people in the past but it's really frustrating when he gets mad at me and says "idk what to say nothing is good enough it's just a trap anyway" like dude please fucking talk to me

♡

Hey there, friend!! I'm probably not the best person to request relationship advice from, so take my advice with a grain of salt! First of all, you're allowed to set personal space boundaries! I'd let the bf's friend know what he did made you uncomfortable, and if he has any qualms about it, you should stand your ground.

Second of all... I couldn't tell if the second ask was about the boyfriend or the friend? If it's the boyfriend, then it sounds to me like he's got some issues that goes beyond his experiences with shitty people, and if its causing problems with your relationship then he needs to seek personal help and come to terms with it and not take it out on you. If he doesn't do that, I'd highly advise getting away from him because that's not a healthy relationship to have, and it could easily lead down a dark path, and nobody deserves to experience that.

#again take my advice with a grain of salt!! #i just know if i were in the same predicament; I'd expect change or I'd leave #ask #a nonnie

[do1care]

9:37 pm thoughts, ending friendships.

Va escrito en ingles porque iba primero para reddit, ojala y alguien me lea aca algun dia:(

FYI, this is a long post about my struggles and thoughts on my problems, if you don't want to deal with them feel free to move to the next post:), it's ok.

I know that everything has to end, that's the most natural part of life, as far as I can see it, everything has to come to an end. Doesn't matter if it's your favorite coffee cup, or your longest relationship ever, that's just how life is, and there's nothing wrong with it, but the fact of accepting it can cause some real shitty problems. Or at least to me.

I lost my best friend on January, and no, by lost I don't mean he died, thankfully, 'cause he's and extraordinary human, he is such a grateful and open minded young man willing to help you no matter what; that being said, the reason why you can say we "broke up" (we weren't dating, just that i didn't find any other word that could sume up that were not bffs anymore, haha), it's pretty fucking stupid, haha.

I'll give you a few seconds so that you try to guess, haha.....1.....2......3....OK, times up. Don't know if you saw this coming, but it was because of a girl (told you, pretty fucking stupid reason).

Let me set the scenario up for you.

He and I have been friends since we were 10 and 11 (I'm younger), we are now 16 and 17. We had been together in a lot of struggles each; helping the other in whatever it was possible to, he changed school when he was 13 because his mother had a problem with our principal, anyway. It may appear that since then we started talking less with each other, but no, its the total opossite (crazy, right?). Since he got out of my school we started talking more and more, and I remember on the 2015 new years eve, I was all alone in my room hearing all the fireworks welcoming the new year 2016, and at 2:30 am or so i called him and we started talking till 6:00 am or so, we never ran out of talk, it was always so funny, haha.

Ok, now to how we stop talking.

On January 2017, he had been dating a few girls on and off. But nothing too serious, but like on the 25th he started telling me about this girl that a friend introduce to him, and that she was sooo hot, but all she wanted from her was to hook up (nothing weird about that, he always wanted that, and i think thats ok, if the girl wants that too). And he sent me this girl facebook profile, so i started checking her out, and she was a girl from another school, which, another girl friend of mine was in like 2 years ago.

(ok, now this is getting confusing, from now on we are gonna call them like this: my ex best boy friend: ed. My girl friend: luna, the girl that caused the problem: pico)

And luna had told me that the girl that pico was a kinddd of a slut (i know that that can be offensive, but bare with me here, those were her words, not mine). And I was like, oh, cool, either way ed just wants to hook up with her, so they can both be happy. But one day ed told me that he was trying to get into a serious relationship with pico, at this point I had told ed everyting that luna had told me about pico, but he didn't seem to care at all. By this point, as any teenager-best-male-friend would do, i was very concerned, cause he had gotten broken up a lot in the past, by girls that didn't deserve him. By shitty girls. And i didn't want him to get his heart broken again, and at least this time I had something in my power to stop that. Or at least that's what I thought.

Remember that Luna and Pico were very good friends in the past, at this point they talk to each other, but not as much. And also, at this point Luna and I are veeeery good friends, in fact, she is one of my 2 best girl friends (thankfully, she still is, she's awesome, haha)

So I send Luna the screenshot of the time when Ed was telling me that all he wanted Pico for was to get laid, and Luna ask me if I was sure I wanted this to get to Pico, I said yes. But told her that she said to Pico not to show them to Ed. (I think you can guess where this is heading).

Long story short, Ed realized what I did, and basically sent me to eat shit, I couldn't understand how he rather lose his best friend and having a girl to fuck and not viceversa (and oh, btw, i now it was a total dick move from me to send the screenshots of our chat to Luna. But I dind't want this girl to hurt him). By this point, it was maybe like februart 4th or something like that. We stoped talking, but I remember that this was killing me, cause I was ised to tell him everything that happened in my mind, every single deep or stupid thought I had, no matter how vain or important it was, and he knew that i'll always be there for him, so I tried to apologize, and I freacking got fully emotional with him, i remember being at bed like at 1 am texting him whyle crying, he was so fucking important to me, little did I know i meant so little to him by this point.

The important part of this is that I wrote him that i loved him. Of course i loved him, he was my fucking best friend, how am I not supposed to love him? (Again, little did I know this was gonna fuck my life in a while)

Amyway, he basically told me that he had forgiven me, just that I wasn't his best friend anymore, that, that fucking killed me, it was like a stab in the chest, I felt it deep into myself, losing a friendship with someone you value so much, that you had plans for the future with, so many memories together. Just gone. Fucking went off. It was my fault. I destroyed, it was me the one who blame. Fast forward two monts of feeling depressed and shitty af, my sister went to the beach with a friend, a girl friend, but my dad is a freacking maniac so he decided to go to their beach house without tellimg anyone just to check if she wasn't lying (spoiler. Of course she wasnt, my sister is the best). Anyway, so he told me to write to her friend cause I also get along with her (or at leaste i used to, another friendahip gone, yey) to send me their location, so my dad took my phone and started texting her like if it was me, cause of course, it was from my number, why would she think it wasnt me?

(And by this point i think i should tell you two important things:

1. My father is an asshole and a real noisy bitch.

2. He is super homophobyc, this is kinda caused because his brother is gay, and they were born in a very mysoginistic environment.)

Anyway, so my dad started scrolling around my chats, and I at this point I didn't remember my chat with Ed, until I saw it on my phone screen, when I saw it, my heart went from being calm to almost getting a heart attack. I was fucking nervous, cause I knew how his reaction was going to be, and i didnt want him to see what I wrote with him, cause it was personal shit, things that no one but you and the other person are supposed to see (now that I analyze this, I think it is kind of karma because i did the same to Ed), I was terryfied, sweating. Almost crying, and when he was about to enter my chat with Ed, i tried to take my phone away from his hand, by this point he knew i was hiding something. I fucked it up, there was nothing else that I could do, but to be waiting for him to react. There were 5 minutes of pure silence in the car, i tried as hard as I could not to cry (my very first reaction in strong emotional moments, is crying, no matter if it's a super sad moment or in the middle of the biggest argument of my life, i just can't control it).

Then he says -So you love him?

I got freezed, i really don't remember any much of it cause I was so afraid of it, I just remember telling him that yeah, i loved him cause he was my best friend. Anyway, he took my phone away from me and talked with my mom about it. My mom is genuinely the best, she's very supportive and lovely. She just tells me that no matter what I feel I can always tell her and that she'll love me no matter what, but to stop saying to some random dude that he was everything to me and that i felt fucking misserablr without him (i kinda told that to Ed when I tried to apologize). Since than, my dad has been a little lore of a douche bag with me, and he doesn't know I have my phone, cause he gave it to my mom, but she gave it to me, haha, she's the best (forgot to mention, i only live with my mom, but they get along pretty well).

Now Ed and I talk maybe once in a while, and I have accepted the fact that he's not my bf and i'm not his, and that's ok. Cause everything has to end, nothing last forever.

------

I tottaly forgot what the purpose of writing this story was, I just hope that maybe someone might read it and I don't know, tell me anything, i literally just was fucking sad and upset with lifeand general and decided to start writing this. But ended up spending an hour and a little bit more writing it, haha.

Remember that this is my first post to reddit. So feel free to comment or idk what the interactions in here are called, but yeah, i think i might post this to my tumblr later, haven't ever post there either, haha.

#thoughts #midnight #friendship #ends #amigos #ingles #reddit #friends #help

[michaelguyyo]

1-100!!!!¡!¡!!!¡!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fucccckkkkk

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

Like relationship? Like do I have a girlfriend? Nope

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Yeah I always forgive everyone. I don’t really hold grudges, like at all. I love people. Although I guess I am still pretty mad at band staff.. 

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

What the fuck this furry shit

4: What’s something you really want right now?

I want tomorrow to be over with nothing gone wrong, I am so fuckin stressed. School needs to end. Now.

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

No someone make me fall in love with them RIGHT NOW

6: Do you like the beach?

Not particularly, starting to be more fond of it, but ehhhh I like bonfires at the beach for sure!

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Yeah all the time. Couches are great places for naps

8: What’s the background on your cell?

It like, space. Stars and shit.

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

Mine, Jamie’s old bed, Tu’s, ummmmmm… honestly I don’t know. Emme’s? Way back in Santa Barbara? That can’t be right but like

10: Do you like your phone?

Yee it’s neat, sometimes it’s kinda shitty though. Texting is a ball ache.

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

Right now….? Yeah.. I’ll let you know tomorrow lmao

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

The fuck who knows that shit… Emme? Tracy? Someone???

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

Poodle baby

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional pain probably, but I haven’t experienced any big physical pain things. No bone breakings, no bad burns.. So who knows, someone hurt me

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

Zoo’s are more mindless fun I’d say! I can just be a kid again

16: Are you tired?

Shit dude you know it.. This question is real as fuck

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

Like you talkin alphabetical? I think I’ve known Aileen since Freshman year.

18: Are they a relative?

Again, alphabetically naw

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

yes

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

Just talked to her last night fam

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

Nope, that’s too much pressure, I’ve got some life to live first.

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Yeah always

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

Big fat zero

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

Nope, and I hate these kinds of questions lmao

25: What’s on your mind?

OH I’m glad you asked!!! Tomorrow I have to go to court from 1:30-3:30, then go to a commission meeting from 4-5:30 then another from 6-7. Then I get home and have to finish ~20% of e2020 and if anything goes wrong in this process I simply do not graduate with my friends!!!!! FUN

26: Do you have any tattoos?

Nope, but I’d consider getting some. I don’t really have any meaningful symbols or anything in my life though so who knows.

27: What is your favorite color?

Purple bb

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

Hopefully everyday for the rest of my life.

29: Who are you texting?

Texting, nobody. Snapchat? Nikki as always and Amber

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

Yeah wtf

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

This is ominous. Probably? Who cares, I don’t have like some story.

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

YEAH!!! She a homie, Nikki Bee is perfect ily. But I have lots others too, I can just talk to Nikki about literally anything.

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I’d like to think so ya, but in reality, probably not lmao

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yeah, I get it fairly often. In fact the other day I was at the school and this girl who walked past me stopped to compliment my eyes and then yelled at her friend to come see. I was flustered, it was nice.

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

The last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you. lol. I dunno, I’d probably be a little bitter, but they ain’t mine they can do whatever they want. I just don’t wanna watch

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

Nope, Valentines Day was nice and equally stressful. Almost didn’t do anything but it turned out to be a pretty okay day. Some big complications tho.

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Yup, pretty close friends luckily!

38: What do your friends call you?

Attractive? Cool? Bit of a dick (who am I kidding a major dick). Lmao they just call me Michael. Some times Mickey McG

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

Yeah fuck band

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

All the time binch. A lot of my breakups and stuff have been over texts. Not only that but also arguments or deep discussions. Texting is wild.

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

On my chest probably. Maybe legs somewhere. I’m white, we whites bruise pretty easily.

42: What is it from?

Who knows, they appear.

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Every time I invite a girl over who I’m not really that into, I just think about them leaving the whole time. Same when I go out with some girl I’m not really into. I just wanna go. It’s shitty.

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

If Skype call counts, then the homies. If not, then Lizz I think.

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Ummmmmm not reaaaaally, different shoes for different occasions and outfits. I switch it up.

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

Not anymore :)

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Douubt it, my head is a weird shape.

48: Do you make supper for your family?

lol

49: Does your bedroom have a door

Yes…??

50: Top 3 web-pages?

Probably Tumblr, Youtube, and Netflix (maybe Amazon?)

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Probably? But idk they’re lame. Shopping rocks.

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

Right now, ya. Always. I’m a mound of aches and pains. But specifically nope I’m pretty good today.

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

Goodbyes are fake. Not real. Nobody ever leaves me. Fake. (yes)

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Soda probably? Ya some good ole’ Dr. Pepper.

55: How is your hair?

Cute thanks for asking

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

Go. Back. To. Sleep. (check my phone eventually)

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

I sure hope so!!!!

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

Yes. 100%. No question.

59: Green or purple grapes?

Tough one but I’d say green.

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

Hopefully every fuckin day. Graduation probably though, lotta people.

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Yeah I would rather be out with people havin fun any day of the week.

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

Still texting people, so gimme 5 seconds.

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

Asleep in bed pls.

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Asleep in bed pls.

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Did I like Lizz by then? No of course not, Amber. Probably Amber.

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Yeah plenty of people, but Genessis lights up my fuckin world!!! Same with Julia!!! They’re precious!!! 

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

Nope, lonely boy (busy boy)

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I dunno I was probably horny or panicked. Or both.

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yeah of course, everyone has let downs. I can’t think of anything specific though

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

Right now? 3. But that’s not the usual.

71: How many fingers do you have?

What the fuck.

72: What is your ringtone?

Whatever the basic thing is, I keep it on silent all the time.

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

Almost 19

74: Where is your Mum right now?

Asleep upstairs. Sleepy mum.

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

I couldn’t live being around her dad all the time, plus my feelings just kinda faded. I don’t know, it was rough. I still care about her a ton though.

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Yeah probably

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Luckily yeah!! and more!!

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

Um ye: Jenna Kern, Summer Stevens, and Cassie Frame to name a few.

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

Meeeeeee

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Yeah of course, I love sleepin with people like that. It’s perfect.

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

2-3 who knows. A few. Lots. Probably 10′s

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

Yuuppp, I think so, 3 days is a standard gap probably lmao

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

Yeah I always talk to the girls I like lmao like all the time

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

Apparently a bunch of assholes. Me and my friends would never, it’s shitty.

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

As long as they aren’t like, fucked with drugs, then no.

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

We were in the front front row and we were literally 10 feet from the screen. It was the worst experience of my life.

87: Who was your last received call from?

Me mom

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

I mean.. Yeah? The fuck the butterfly would understand I wouldn’t even feel that shitty about it.

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

Goldfish. Sex. In that order.

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

Umm probably? But not many people have really destroyed my trust for them, so it’s not a big deal. I am not a very honest person, so trust isn’t a huge concept to me lmao

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

Nope, I sleep too long into the day. Noises would wake me up. Shame too, I like my room chilly.

92: Do you get along with girls?

You know it bby

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

No, but if you think I am, confront me. I’ll letcha know

94: Does sex mean love?

Hell no??? It can I guess but like.. very separate.

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

Naw we’d be a-ok

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

Nope but I’m down, hmu

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

Ya… always… thanks for reminding me… binch

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

My friends make me happier than anything. I love them all so much and they’re a joy to be around/talk to. I’m glad the seniors last year have still been so influential in my life especially.

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Sure why not, girls are pretty.

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

I don’t know, what grade am I in lmao. This was a weird one to end on. Literally who knows

Thanks a bunch you monster!! This was fun binch

#sorry for the long post #not my fault #answers #love you anon

[prorevenge]

Destroy my childhood, ruin my chance at college, and laugh when I said I was homeless? Lol cool, I'll ruin your f*cking life.

warning: this is a VERY long story with few updates and TL:DR at the end.

BACKSTORY: My mother was a really shitty person. I have 4 other siblings. One older sister, 3 way younger, 3 different dads. Before I was born (im a male btw), my oldest sister was taken away from my mother when she was a few months old because she tried to stab/slice the father of my sister WHILE HE WAS HOLDING HER. She lost custody and the dude left her. Older sister goes to live with her fathers family in a different city. CUE LIL OL ME COMING INTO THIS SEXY WORLD. My dad went to jail 2-3 years after I was born for a while, I rarely saw him. He's an alcoholic if that matters. She was a single mother but she made it work and she worked hard. One of the bigger problems was that she took out all her aggression and hatred of my father on me as well as work stress and etc. She dealt with sexual abuse growing up which I'm sure definitely affected her relationships and how she treated me as well. Anyways...

Cue me being abused from the age of 4-5 to about 17. Every day was hell. She was extremely strict and her perspective was warped. She was also pretty big in stature and had alot of strength. Examples of her being shitty: I've gotten beaten up badly once because HER room was dirty. The dishes weren't washed and I got beaten soon as I got home, even if there weren't dishes when I left to school. If i walked too loud, id get my ass beat. She broke my nose for looking at her the wrong way on my 10th birthday when she brought me a cake I was allergic too(It had peanuts, she knows im slightly allergic but feigned ignorance..) It was more or less every day or every other day. She used her fists/elbows/extension cords/hangers/chairs/canes/bats/etc. Whatever she could find I was getting beaten with. I couldn't ever escape to my room for long because she would always call me every few minutes to get her things or to yell at me. She never drank or did drugs or anything. Whenever she was upset and I happened to be in front of her she'd kick me down the stairs to make me hurry up. She's put a knife to my neck before and had to be forcibly stopped by her bf of the time. Burned my Christmas presents from other people (she didnt get me anything that year) and just other really shitty things. The only thing I will say, she tried really hard to make up for it with video games and electronics and etc. It didn't make a difference to me though, it never helped.

She controlled most aspects of my life. I got by with little petty revenges. Peeing in the Lipton iced tea she drank. Rubbing her forks and spoons between ny buttcheeks before i served her dinner. Ignoring her screams for help when she had kidney stones (how tf am i supposed to help anyways??) But by the time i got to highschool I turned to alcohol. I resented her and the negative atmosphere affected who I was as a person. I started to be cold and uncaring. Calculated. She started kicking me out every few months telling me to find somewhere else to live by age 15. She sent me away to a different country for a year and tried to keep my passport but I made it back to the US with the help of the embassy and my step father (she'd already left by that time and found some other dude). I came back senior year with no credits for the prior grade which ended with me getting a GED. I spent most of the time i could with my best friend and started working shitty jobs. I was terrible at saving as i had accumulated loads of shitty habits while growing up so it didnt make much difference. She eventually told me that If i went to college, I would ALWAYS have a place to live until I finished. Cue my first 2 semesters at a 2 year college, I maintained a 3.7ish gpa. My teachers loved me and it was my escape. Towards the end of my 2nd semester during finals, i came home late one night around 10pm and my mother yanks the door open screaming in my face asking when I'll move out. I'm slightly drunk and decide to completely ignore her and walk to my room. If I opened my mouth, that day would be the day I blew up and cursed her out. I've rarely ever raised my voice at her because it never ended well. Now at this point im 19 and I've been doing school full time with no savings. Im also fairly fit and could easily take my mom at this point (Never laid a hand on her or any woman, i hate violence). I get to my room, she rips my door open, and starts yelling. I say nothing and stare at her. She walks away and called the police on me saying she thought id murder her and my younger siblings. I don't know where the fuck she got that idea from as she's the one who's nearly killed me many times.

I packed everything into a duffle bag and left 5 minutes afterwards. I failed all of my finals because I couldn't make it to my school. Things kinda spiraled and the next 2-3 years were me on and off homeless. I survived the best I could in a big city with no college degree and made a lot of shitty choices due to my shitty habits. Eventually i found a profitable hobby that gave me meaning and through that i started to work my way up. Got my own apartment, had a full time job, and did my hobby on the side. I hadn't kept up contact with my mother at all but my younger sister who was old enough to have a phone found me on social media so i saw photos and such, she didn't have it anywhere near as bad but she did get beaten occasionally. My mother reached out via email all smiles asking how I've been. Now guys, ive always been envious of the relationship most ppl have with their moms so I gave her a chance and gave her a call. We talked for a few minutes and everything was civil and seemed like things would go okay but then...

She asked me what I've been up to the last few years and I told her honestly, that I was homeless for a while and struggled a lot after what she did to me but I worked my way out of it. SHE LITERALLY LAUGHS. She laughed for a few seconds in a very condescending kinda chuckle and then said "I never did a thing to you so you don't know what abuse is! its your own damn fault you were homeless. So how about yo-" but by that point I hung up. I was speechless and fuming. I don't know what abuse is? OKAY BITCH. IVE SPENT TOO FUCKING LONG LETTING YOU DESTROY MY SANITY. NOW IS THE TIME.

There was a few things my mother didn't know. One, I knew for a fact that current well paying job she had was gotten on lies as she never got her college degree and lied about it on her resume. Two, I had access to all of her email accounts and cloud storage accounts since I was the one that set them up when I was younger and she never changes her passwords. Lastly, she DEFINITELY wasn't aware that from 13yrs old and onto the last time she hit me I took photos of ALL my bruises/marks/wounds/bloody noses saving them to my computer and then google drive. ON TOP OF THAT, my little sister had been sending me photos via social media of the bruises she got from my mom.

The first thing I did was compile ALL of those photos/videos into one folder. I then reached out to CPS in my city and explained that my siblings were being abused, how I was abused in the past, and that I had mountains of proof. Since ive called the cops on my mother before AND the thing that happened with my older sister, there was immediately a home visit. They arrived almost a day later with the police and coincidentally my mother was literally in the process of beating my younger sister when they were knocking. Cue an Emergency removal of all my siblings from the house and my mother getting arrested though she was released hours later. (I was getting a day to day play by play because my mothers best friend is a blabber mouth and everything my mother said she told her son who relayed it to me without either of their knowledge.) I sent CPS all the evidence and there's a legit case against my mother now. The next day I emailed and then called up her job to inform them that she had lied about having a very necessary college degree as well current events in her life which sparked a background check. She was fired days later. Say adios to 75k and a blacklist in the only industry you know how to work. I then spitefully deleted every cloud account and email address I ever made for her, which was all of them which im sure will make keeping up with alot bills and etc nearly impossible. I then anonymously reported her to the IRS because of the tax fraud she committed for years by claiming people's children that weren't hers with ALOT of detailed information since I lived with her while she did it.

So now, my mother lost all her kids and her job. Im meeting with a caseworker from CPS next week to talk more about what happens moving forward but I do know they're NOT going back. Idk how she's gonna pay her mortgage now and survive. I'm sure she's gonna get a call from the IRS who'll be looking for a few thousand dollars she owes them. She also has to go back to court in a few months, not exactly sure what she was charged with but ill update when I find out how everything turns out.

Side Note: She isn't aware im the cause of any of this. I plan on keeping tabs on her and waiting until it seems like she's close to death before I tell her it was all me and I peed in her Lipton.

Updates:

1) I am psychologically not in the position to take care of my younger siblings or take on a parental role. I came very close to suicide 2 years ago and im just trying to work on my alcohol problem and other habits that keep me in a cycle of instability. No I haven't been to any programs or therapy, I don't think it will help me in regards to my nearly constant apathy and etc.

2) My 2 youngest siblings weren't really bothered much. It was mostly my little sister after I left who got beatings but luckily it wasn't anything near the level I had to deal with.

3) Im also incapable of taking custody because I don't have an apartment anymore due to bad decisions I made while drinking recently. So I'm back to homeless but I crash with a friend once in a awhile. I am very well aware I am an influence on my younger siblings and I'm trying to stay consistent with doing everything I can to be a better and more stable person for them so that maybe I can finally build a real relationship with someone in my family. I'm sorry to disappoint everyone who keeps wishing me more success.

4) Aside from my little siblings, I have zero contact with anyone else in my family. And even then, its been very rare because I had to avoid my mother to see them and didn't want her knowing i kept in contact (Meeting my little sister after school, facetime, etc). The rest of my family were well aware of what she did and distanced themselves. I don't plan on reaching out to them as im not good at maintaining relationships with mostly anyone anyways.

TL;DR - My mother abuses me badly for most of my life as well as my younger siblings. I have to drop out of college and support myself after she drove me to homelessness. She proceeds to laugh at me about me being homeless and denys abuse. So I ruined her life by getting my younger siblings removed and her arrested, making her lose her job, reported her to the IRS, and essentially set her up so that the remainder of her life is full of disaster and hardships.

(source) (story by howbout_that_lipton)

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