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twstgarden · 6 months

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✿ ❝ 𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗼𝘄? ❞ (17+)

━ leona kingscholar x fem! reader ━ thinking you have moved on, you would not spare a glance at your ex, yet you found yourself looking back and fantasising about what could have been. getting no closure, you wonder if your relationship was really over. (modern au! the setting stays the same, but they are not students of night raven college) (f/n means first name) ━ song(s) used: is it over now? by taylor swift, style by taylor swift

17+, reader discretion is advised cw: (including, but not limited to) talks of unhealthy romantic relationships, hints of infidelity, implied intimacy/mature content, mentions of self-harm

requested by: @lqmoncake request type: oneshot requester's message: hii i was wondering if u could write a leona x reader (fem or gn wtv u want!!) story?? oneshot?? (sorry ive never requested anything) based off the song is it over now by taylor swift 🌝🌝 (the model in the song can be like vill or something idk whatever you want and can the new guy be malleus pls) thank u and take care mama 💗💗 florist's note: angst! my time to shine~ time to write for drama. thank you for the request, little one, and do take care of yourself as well. <3

this work may contain slight spoilers for chapter 7, diasomnia’s arc.

do not steal or translate without my permission.

whilst you sat on the floor, you were rummaging through your belongings to sort out the things that are deemed as trash and ones that you might need. it was all going well until you came across a specific necklace.

you stared at the pendant of the golden necklace as memories started flooding your head. you kept telling yourself that you had moved on, that you were already happy with your current lover, malleus.

but sometimes, thoughts of the past start to haunt you.

being in a relationship with someone who never had their personal wounds healed can be quite traumatizing, to say the least, but oh, the first stages of a newly-bloomed relationship will always be blissful no matter how unhealthy it ends.

midnight you come and pick me up, no headlights a long drive could end in burning flames or paradise

not everyone was aware of your relationship with the second prince of sunset savanna, and that is exactly how you both wanted it. you knew what you walked into the moment you started dating this prince. you knew exactly what people would think once your relationship with him had been publicized.

and yet you did not care. all you knew was this blissful private relationship could either end badly or wonderfully, and you knew the former would have been the outcome if you were to be realistic.

this was another one of the nights where you stayed with him in his home. it was way past 12 in the morning as you went to his room and cuddled with him whilst you two spoke about your day, your hands tangled in his brown locks as he held you close by your waist.

and i should just tell you to leave, 'cause i know exactly where it leads, but i watch us go 'round and 'round each time

*six months have passed and the so-called honeymoon phase of the relationship started to die down. what you thought was a fairytale turned out to be just another average, if not worse, nightmare.

the little things have blown into intense arguments, every mistake ends up becoming a huge deal, and you desperately wanted to make it stop already, but you couldn't.

and how did that end? things go in a loop. one apologises, the other forgives, and love prevails, until another fight breaks out, and the cycle begins once more.

the couch and the bed that you have grown accustomed to have begun filling you up with memories - both good and bad. as you sat on the couch with leona, cuddling up with him, you whispered, "i love you."

"i love you too," he whispered back, and like a fool, you both believed it's you and him against the world, that you two would always stick together no matter how much the universe wanted to break you apart.

leona reached for something in his pocket and revealed a golden necklace, locking it around your neck as he spoke, "keep it." your eyes glanced at the pendant resting above your chest with a smile on your face, thanking him with a loving kiss on the cheek.

i say, 'i heard, oh that you've been out and about with some other girl' some other girl he says, 'what you heard is true, but i can't stop thinking 'bout you and i' i said, 'i've been there too a few times'

*nine months into the relationship. you'd think you were growing stronger, but in reality, it was starting to become a mess. a number of your close friends and mutual friends have been aware of your relationship, and the public has been slowly getting hints and making predictions that you two are actually dating, but neither you nor leona have confirmed it as you both wanted to stay private.

"i saw the second prince of sunset savanna with another princess!"

"no kidding! i saw him with her too."

and because of that, rumours have been spreading around that sent you worrying. doubts started to cross your mind, but you always pushed them back and told yourself, 'he would never do that. he respects me enough that he wouldn't do something so cruel.'

you were right.

"i was with her because my brother set up that meeting. it was to discuss topics related to the *mining and energy facilities of sunset savanna," spoke leona, informing you of the actual reason why he was seen with another woman. he realised it was feeding up doubts in your mind, making him frown a little and you can sense this might stir up another argument, "...did you think i was doing something else?"

"i'm sorry... it's just that i heard people talking and i assumed..." you trailed off.

"assumed that i was being unfaithful."

a stern tone was evident in leona's voice as he completed your sentence, disappointment was an expression clear as day on his face as you tried to console him, not wanting to escalate the topic further into another mentally draining argument.

"don't try to act like the victim here. people have seen you with vil and that bastard draconia, but did i say a word about it? no. because i trust you, f/n," snapped leona as he glared at you.

this statement made you upset as you glared back at him and retorted back, "i was only asking you! i did not mean to doubt you, but the way people talk about it was making it seem like you were doing something else!"

"so does your side of the story! i've heard others saying how you would openly flaunt at vil and shower him with compliments that i myself have never heard from you. i've heard others talking about how you would smile so sweetly at that bastard and comfort him when he feels down," argued leona, "but i chose to not believe them because i trust you. i trust you enough that you would never do something like that to me, and yet when you hear one rumour about me, you automatically assume i was cheating on you?"

that night went on with a fight and ended with him sleeping on that couch you both grew to love and hate, while you stayed on his bed. both had wanted nothing to do with the other for a while and opted for the so-called silent treatment.

'cause we never go out of style (we never go, we never go) we never go out of style take me home (ah) just take me home (ah) yeah, just take me home (ah) oh-oh, woah-oh, oh (out of style)

a week after the argument, you started to lose hope that your relationship will ever flourish well. you started to pack your belongings to return to your home while he was out doing business. you finished packing and carried your bag as you went downstairs, only to find him on the couch as it seemed he had returned from wherever he went.

he turned to look at you and stood up, wrapping his arms around you as he asked, "where are you going?" you didn't want to fall for it again, his arms around your waist and the sweet whispers in your ear, none of that, no matter how tempted you are. you looked up at him as you told him the truth, "i think we need a break..."

leona looked down at you as he asked, "why?" once again, you both shared your thoughts and apologised for all the wrongdoings done by each party. another chance out of several endless chances, and you found yourself retaking a break from him.

on and off. this was the best way to describe the current predicament of your relationship.

on and off. he'd drive you home and take you back to his.

on and off. you spent nights loving him and sharing your dreams with him, and you spent days arguing and crying over small mistakes and doubts.

until you never heard from him again. no text, no letters, no meet-ups. it was as if everything fell silent. there was no closure on either side.

once the flight had flown (uh-huh) with the wilt of a rose (uh-huh) i slept all alone (uh-huh) you still wouldn't go

back to the present, you eyed the golden necklace on your hand as you remembered when he gave this to you and realised he was wearing the same matching necklace. you sighed softly to yourself, placing it back on the box you found it in before settling on the bed, laying all alone with nothing but thoughts of your previous lover resurfacing again.

no matter where you are, no matter how hard you try to forget about him, reminders of your relationship with him will always resurface. you truly never felt alone with the memories haunting you every now and then.

let's fast forward to three hundred takeout coffees later i see your profile and your smile on unsuspecting waiters you dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor you search in every maiden's bed for somethin' greater, baby

morning weekends are generally a great time to spend with yourself, show some self-care and indulge in your hobbies while your current lover is busy with his royal duties.

does it seem like a coincidence? your ex was also a member of a royal family, and your current lover is also a member of a royal family, albeit he is in line for the throne, which adds more responsibilities.

to start your day, you decided to get some coffee in the nearby local café and possibly visit some spots you intended to go to. upon entering the café, you approached the counter and ordered your usual takeout. it was all going fine until you saw the barista brewing your coffee, he had the same shade of green eyes as he does, and a similar neutral expression that made him look so mysterious and stern.

you brushed it off, thinking that your mind is playing tricks on you again. the barista then handed you your drink and you thanked him, to which he gave you a small smug smile before returning back to work.

the same smile that you see on his face a lot.

you shook your head a little to snap out of your thoughts before walking away and leaving the café, trying your very best to think about something else and not your ex.

was it over when she laid down on your couch? was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?

you and leona never got closure from one another, and it left you wondering if your relationship with him was really over from the moment you heard the rumours of him with that princess you talked about and how their relationship had been growing close.

or was it over the moment you entered into a relationship with malleus? the moment you start to forget about leona and spend your days with your new lover, giving him the love and care he deserves. was it really over the moment you spent your nights with your new lover and not him?

thinking you had both moved on, you found peace with malleus. you never experienced hearing him raise his voice at you or argue over little things. he would always make a point to talk about an issue, and not yell about it as he thought that would amount to nothing.

what you went through in an unhealthy relationship moulded your perspective when it comes to love. what you deemed as normal, such as apologising for the little things and fearing to speak about certain topics to not anger your partner, was always deemed as odd to malleus.

this was another case of finding the person who truly loves you, but you are too wounded from the past and it may cause toxicity to arise in your relationship if you are not careful.

your new girl is my clone and did you think i didn't see you? there were flashin' lights at least i had the decency to keep my nights out of sight

as you scrolled through your phone, you came across an article from a famous entertainment news blog talking about the second prince of sunset savanna being arranged for a political marriage with a girl who has the same shade of hair and the same eye colour as you.

was it intentional for him to be destined to marry someone who looks like you?

you tried to brush that thought. surely, now that he was rumoured to get married, it meant it really was over. everyone was talking about it, from the littlest moments of them conversing in public areas to pictures of them spending time together privately.

at least you had the decency to keep the private aspects of your romance with malleus a secret.

oh, lord, i think about jumpin' off of very tall somethings just to see you come runnin' and say the one thing i've been wanting, but no

despite telling yourself that you have moved on, you still think of your ex from time to time. thoughts of even trying to harm yourself crossed your mind, in hopes that he would come and save you.

of course, that will always just be an imagination.

'maybe if i try to jump off this building, he'll come running.'

what a dangerous thought that was, and yet you never acted upon it as you knew better than to cut your life short over someone who made you feel so many things at once - both positive and negative.

you started to wonder what went wrong.

you knew that both of you had their contributions on how the relationship got unhealthy afterwards, and yet, you couldn't help but wonder what exactly was the reason that made your fairytale of a relationship turn into one hell of a nightmare.

was it the rumoured illicit affairs?

was it the rumoured blooming romance between you and someone else?

was it your mistrust?

was it his lack of comfort?

(flashin' lights; oh, lord; oh) let's fast forward to three hundred takeout coffees later (oh) (flashin' lights) i was hoping you'd be there and say the one thing (oh, lord) i've been wanting (oh, lord) but no

and once again, you found yourself on the same coffee shop, looking at the cup you were holding as you watched the steam from the hot coffee with a soft sigh, smiling a little to yourself in an attempt to comfort and make you forget about such thoughts.

you have moved on, have you not?

*six months and *nine months refers to the three-six-nine rule which is noted to be an informal rule that some people follow when they are in a new romantic relationship (source). *mining and energy facilities is a reference to chapter 7 part 1's update where the third years discuss where they plan to have their internships and leona mentioned he'd do something related to the mining and energy facilities of his country.

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ech0schamber · 11 months

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I am STARVED for akutagawa angst. I am begging!! I need a fic, where reader and aku know each other through the port mafia. Right? They get close 🤭 BOOM?! One day she leaves like dazaii?!!! 🤯 (omg) he is obviously betrayed. BUT THEN (drumroll) CONFRONTATION. He finds her again. How will it end up? Could he ever forgive her?? 🤔

ahhh, i really hope that you don't mind that i'm sticking to the bulleted headcanon list like my other posts! i'm really bad at writing drabbles (is that what it's called?)

☆you had worked for the port mafia for quite some time, slowly working yourself up the ranks

☆during that process, you had become close friends with this emo cat. akutagawa had actually started to admire you after a while. it seemed like no matter how hard the job, or how injured you got, you always got right back up with a cheery smile on your face

☆he would eventually become fascinated by you, but who wouldn't? you seemed too nice to be a part of the port mafia, a little too happy as well. it's like nothing in the world could actually get you down

☆let's pretend that was all a façade tho! it's exhausting to work for mori, especially since it doesn't seem like he cares about the members of the port mafia unless they are a higher up

☆you never let it show, but it was really starting to wear you down. each scar you got was just another reminder of what hell you were put through everyday

☆i'd like to think that even akutagawa never noticed this. the two of you had become really close friends, he'd even fight to keep you safe if you got too badly injured during a mission, something he doesn't do for anyone (besides gin)

☆it was kinda obvious to everyone else that aku liked you. but you were an oblivious fuck /affecationate

☆it got to the point that people started to take bets on who would ask out who first, when you guys would actually get together, or if you guys would get together at all

☆don't judge them, it can boring at work sometimes

☆but of course, some stories don't get a happy ending :]

☆you had grown too exhausted from the work you had to endure everyday, tired of the scars that litter your body, and just tired of dealing with mori. you had run away, left everything behind. you wanted a new life for yourself

☆of course, you wanted to explain to akutagawa first. you had debating telling him for a full week before you decided against it. it was going to hurt, but you had to leave. akutagawa would for sure try to keep you in the port mafia, he saw no point in leaving this life style

☆so instead, you had packed the bare necessities and ran away like a dog running away from a scolding. you didn't have too much money, so you couldn't leave yokohama. you didn't think too much of it, yokohama is pretty big right? there's no way that the port mafia has power over all of it

☆and your plan had worked. you actually managed to get away from the port mafia, you had settled down and found a job at a small shop near your place. it wasn't the best work in the world, but it made you happy. you had finally found peace through the raging storm

☆it had actually been a couple of years before you ran into any members of the port mafia. you had probably changed the way you look now, but not drastic enough that no one would recognize you

☆and of course, it was akutagawa that you ran into :]

☆the port mafia had been informed that someone who looked like you was working for the same small shop. of course someone was gonna rat you out, you don't exactly get to just leave the mafia without some conflict!

☆mori had decided to send akutagawa for this as he'd be more likely to recognize it it was actually you or not

☆so there he was, casually strolling into the shop you worked at. he immediately recognized you, and was filled with a bad mix of emotions. fury, betrayal, sadness. he almost started a fight with you before you even noticed that he was there

☆thankfully you had noticed before and shooed him out of the shop before the owner started to question things. he oh so casually threatened you, stating that you better explain everything before he used roshomon on you

☆while you didn't explain all of it, you did tell him that you were tired of the life style that came with being part of the port mafia. you had grown tired of the constant fighting, of constantly worrying about your life, tired of the scars, just tired of it all. you were shaking by the time you were finished speaking, you added that you just wanted to move on and make something good out of your life. you only life once, yeah?

☆you also told him that you wanted to tell him. you didn't want to leave him in the dark like that, but it wasn't safe to do that. if someone had found out that he knew where you were, they would torture him until he finally let up. you were too scared to tell him, and it still hurt like hell that you had to do that to him

☆little did you know that aku had finally managed to gather his feelings up, and was about to ask you out before you left :,]

☆he didn't speak much during this confrontation. it hurt to find this out, it hurt to see you again. all those emotions he managed to bury came flooding back, except for the love he once carried for you.

☆you had finally managed to ask if he would forgive you. you were met with a simple "no"

☆it hurt, but you could understand why. you were more shocked when he talked again.

"But I won't tell the boss where you are."

☆he, of course, didn't let you respond to this before he turned and walked away. you couldn't help but smile at that. maybe some stories have a bittersweet ending

☆and he kept true to his word, he reported back that it was just a misunderstanding, that it was simply just someone that looked like you

☆but now you two avoid each other in public, not wanting to stir those emotions back up. let's hope that mori never sees you. im pretty sure he will kill you if he does

-------

i hope this is angsty enough :']

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #akutagawa x reader

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softtdaisy · 2 years

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🌷 Can I ask for Peter Parker and enemies to lovers story?

_deja vu

peter parker x fem!singer!reader

based on: enemies to lovers trope

summary: when Peter is remaking your relationship with his new girlfriend, you realize you might not hate him as much as you thought

words: 933

a/n: can you tell I was listening to deja vu by Olivia Rodrigo?? I hope you will love this story sweetie 💛 (and since it's not specified I'm writing with Andrew in mind but you can tell me if you thought about Tom)(or Tobey)

join my secret garden for my 1k celebration 🌸

“I can’t believe it.”

For Peter to date someone new was a thing. You broke up months ago and it wasn’t the hate you were giving each other that would put you back together.

But for him to act with his new girlfriend exactly like he used to do with you, was something else. Something you weren’t going to accept that easily.

You guessed something wasn’t right the first time you saw him with her. She looked like you, the same type of girl with the same hair color and the same style. You thought Peter was looking for a copy of you to replace what he couldn’t have anymore. But then you decided you were overreacting to your ex-boyfriend dating someone new. It was the last punch your relationship needed to die.

You and Peter dated for a few months. You were terribly in love, maybe too passionate. That was the reason you broke up at the end. You couldn’t handle all this love, all this passion and rather than make it work, you made it fail. You started to fight over little things, not realizing these were small inconvenience in what could be the greatest love story of your life.

But then love became hate and you stopped talking. Except to hurl barbs at each other anytime you could.

But today, it was one day too many. You couldn’t bear to look at Peter with his arm around that girl shoulder. That girl that was wearing the same jacket Peter gave you when you were dating. “it was my uncle’s, I love to wear it. But it looks better on you.” He said the night he gave you because you forgot yours. You thought it meant something to him. It meant the world to you.

But of course, he was giving it to someone new now. As if your whole relationship never ever mattered.

“Parker!” you called him across the school. He turned around, just like your double did. You regret it when you noticed ever was looking at you now. But it was more than you could take. You walked to peter and grab his arm, the one that he was holding his girlfriend with. “Ouch.” He mumbled before putting his eyes on you. “What do you want?”

“Talk.” One word. The word you both needed back then.

“Don’t you think we should talk about all that mess?” Peter said, looking at you who were throwing all his stuff you were keeping at your place in a bag. It was over for good this time, you thought. And you didn’t want to keep anything from Peter.

“Talk, talk, talk. That would lead us nowhere!” you replied, putting the bag in his arms and waiting for him to leave.

Peter followed you in a quiet room, away from the other students and his “girlfriend”. While he was walking behind you, he had that smirk on his face. The one that meant his plan was working. Once you turned around, he put on his poker face again. “So, what do you want?”

“Are you really going to pretend like you’re not remaking our whole relationship with that stupid girl!” You were mad. Worse, you were jealous. It wasn’t fair that all the thing you did with Peter, he was doing them with her now.

Peter frowned, waiting for you to go on and explained yourself. You hated how you found him hot when he was crossing his arms on his chest, making his biceps bigger. That wasn’t fair either.

“Don’t you think I noticed how she looks like me? And that I didn’t see her picture of you two sharing a fucking strawberry ice cream when you know it’s my favorite flavor! Or that she’s wearing Ben’s jacket when I thought it was special for you to give to me! It’s not special if you do it with everyone you fuck, Peter!” you were banging on his chest, trying to make yourself understood.

You only managed to give Peter what he wanted all along.

“You still love me.” He simply said, taking your hands between his fingers to stop you from hitting him. It wasn’t like you could hurt him anyway.

“What the hell? No!” you answered, trying to free yourself from his grip but Peter was way stronger than you were. And the thing he said, the love word, did something in your stomach that was preventing you from fighting anyway.

“May always said that between love and hate, there’s only one step. One step to cross. We did it once. We can do it backward.” He had this low voice, and he was using when he wanted you to listen to every word he was saying. A tip that still work since you were carefully listening to him. “I can’t stop loving you, [y/n]. I realized that after I had tried to hate you for hurting me. I don’t think I ever hated you.”

“So…you’re dating that girl to make me love you? You realize how stupid this is?” Peter laughed and took your face between his hands. “I’m not dating her. I just wanted you to realize that you cared more about me and our memories than you thought. That you were ready to fight for me again.”

Since you stayed silent, Peter kissed your forehead before letting you go. “I’m giving you some time. But think about it. One step baby. One step.” He winked at you before leaving the room.

Leaving you alone with your feelings. And your will to fight for the man you hate love.

#peter parker x you #Peter Parker imagine #Peter Parker x reader #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x y/n #tasm!peter x reader #tasm!peter parker x reader #tasm!peter x y/n #tasm!spiderman x reader #tasm!peter imagine #tasm peter parker #peter parker #andrew garfield x female reader #andrew garfield imagine #andrew garfield x you #andrew garfield #andrew garfield x reader #my writing #1k celebration

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iuteamstarcandy · 7 months

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[TRANS] Album/Song Introduction - IU 5th Full Album ‘LILAC’

Album Introduction

“Hello to a flower petal-like hello”

“I’m moving on to the next step without any doubt on my mind”

Having shown us a preview of her glamorous ‘greeting’ to the end of her 20s, IU is back with her 5th full-length album [LILAC] along with the scent of spring. Unlike the first album of her 20s, [Spring of a Twenty Year Old], which was full of her honest and fresh emotions, IU’s full-length album in 4 years [LILAC] captures her emotions which have matured over the years, through 10 tracks showing varied perspectives of her 20s thus far.

This time, IU participated again as a producer, composer and also wrote the full lyrics for the album and had new collaborations with various local and international top artistes, experimenting with new genres and releasing high quality songs, raising expectations for IU’s ongoing musical transformation as she enters her 30s.

Top music video production teams in Korea, VM Project (Celebrity, Flu), Flipevil (LILAC, Epilogue) and Sunny Visual (Coin) also participated for this album. The sensory videos each with unique styles, created a great synergy with IU’s music.

The lilac flower which is used as both the album title and title track, represents ‘first love’ and ‘memories of youth’. Here is a greeting from a glamorous yet slightly lonely IU, to show her gratitude to everyone who has read the first page of her 20s to the last page.

Song Introductions

01 라일락 (LILAC) [TITLE]

Lyrics By IU

Composed By Im Su Ho / Dr. JO / Woong Kim / N!ko

Arranged by Im Su Ho / Woong Kim / N!ko

The story of a couple bidding each other a happy farewell amidst the exclamation that spring is coming, after passionately being in love for 10 years.

The opening song for the full-length album with the same title as the album is ‘LILAC’, which presents us with the thrill of spring with a gorgeous and rhythmic sound.//

A 70-80s disco sound that harmonises the rhythmical bass line with funky and pop elements brings joy to the listeners. Im Su Ho, Dr. JO, Woong Kim, Niko participated in the song composition.

02 Flu

Lyrics By IU

Composed By Ryan S. Jhun / Martin Coogan / Madilyn Bailey / Zacchariah Palmer / London Jackson / Jacob Chatelain

Arranged By Jacob Chatelain / London Jackson / Ryan S. Jhun

When writing lyrics about the subject matter of ‘love’, the feeling that comes to the forefront for me is ‘agony’. When I finally come to the realisation that this feeling called love has been bothering me to the extent of discomfort, I feel like everything in my body has become topsy turvy. The feeling is not exactly refreshing.

This song tells the story of a final rebellion in a desperate fight from being attacked by the love virus, after a fierce denial ended in vain and left me powerless.//

Written by the hit song composer Ryan S. Jhun and his composing team, which has worked together on a variety of music projects, ‘Flu’ has an urban beat, a catchy hook and a fantasy-like melody, adding to the song’s vividness. The unique detailed lyrics filled with IU’s wit and her risqué voice maximise the song’s appeal.

03 Coin [TITLE]

Lyrics By IU

Composed By Poptime / kako / IU

Arranged by Poptime

Stimulating things have an irreplaceable appeal to them, but eventually are detrimental to our health.

Let me play just one more round of this game that is detrimental to my health. //

A new genre that IU has never tried was created by combining a sample sound reminiscent of a game room at the start, with Poptime’s funky groove band soundtrack and IU’s melody. With IU’s glamorous rapping revealed for the first time through the song release and an unconventional drop part, this song with a concept that (IU) is trying for the first time since her debut, became a hot topic since the release of the teaser video.

04 봄 안녕 봄 (Hi spring Bye)

Lyrics By IU

Composed By Naul

Arranged by Kang Hwa Seong

Although there are still times that your name unconsciously comes to my mind first,

and occasionally there are sleepless nights like these,

I won’t think of this as my lingering affection (towards you) anymore.

Just a name I recall on a tiring day

or a coincidence I want to face again

The feeling of getting off at a small stopover early in the morning, just in case

The feeling of stretching out one’s hand to the wind gently blowing past, just in case

The feeling of calling out your name when looking into the vacant gaze of a cat, in case it’s you

So you’ve turned into a butterfly

Still as beautiful as ever

So you’ve turned into a bird

Free at last

You have come again today without fail

Thank you

It’s a relief to be able to wait again tomorrow

Let’s meet again on a good day. //

The song that top Korean singer-songwriter Naul gifted IU is simple and yet the understated melody with the EP and nylon guitar tune, carefully brings out the emotions of the song. The melodious monologue-like chorus and Naul’s calm voice deepen the song a layer further. The gentle bridge that leaves an impression is straightforward, yet adds a refined touch to the song. The poetic string tunes like the arrival of spring, together with the warm electric guitar sounds, completes the classic yet emotional contemporary pop sound.

05 Celebrity

Lyrics By IU

Composed By Ryan S. Jhun / Jeppe London Bilsby / Lauritz Emil Christiansen / IU / Chloe Latimer / Celine Svanback

Arranged By Jeppe London Bilsby / Lauritz Emil Christiansen / Ryan S. Jhun

I have a friend with eye-catching outfits, slightly unique taste, various talents, a defence mechanism that started out as shyness, a personality that differentiates the likes and dislikes for everything and because of all this, was often treated as someone who is eccentric.

I love my friend even more for all these characteristics, but for the same reasons, the friend received even more looks of hatred all this while.

These lyrics started out as things I wanted to say to my ‘eccentric friend’, but as I worked on this song, I realised that this is also my story. After completing the lyrics, I think it wouldn’t be unnatural at all for anyone to become the main character, besides my friend or me. Because in life, we would definitely have experienced a sense of alienation for not having met expectations set by others. Including my friend, I want to tell those who were born unpolished yet unique. You’re not ‘byeolnan’ (eccentric) but someone who is like a ‘byeol’ (star).

‘Celebrity’ is the preview to IU’s 5th full-length album after 4 years. The pre-release track that introduces the album, ‘Celebrity’, is an electronic pop song mixed with tropical house, covering a spectrum of genres, with the involvement of Ryan S. JHyun who has produced many hit songs, Danish composer Chloe Latimer, as well as IU herself in the song production, bringing the song to a higher level of completion.

In particular, the album art has the word ‘Celebrity’ scrawled by IU using her left hand, which makes it even more special. The lighthearted and classy ‘Celebrity’ track has a hook in the style of a drop produced with synthesiser and autotune that has not been used in IU’s songs before and combined with IU’s voice, makes it more refreshing.

06 돌림노래 (Troll Feat. Dean)

Lyrics By IU / DEAN

Composed By Park Woo Sang / JUNNY / DEAN

Arranged By Park Woo Sang

Even though it’s pathetic,

If it’s still love after all this, then it’s love. //

The much-anticipated collaboration between IU and DEAN has come true. Park Woo Sang, JUNNY, DEAN, jane participated in composing the song. With a reggae and bossa nova-based genre, IU and DEAN exchange honest words with each other about a relationship like a ‘circular song’ (Korean title of this song, although the English title is ‘Troll’).

07 빈컵 (Empty Cup)

Lyrics By IU

Composed By WOOGIE / PENOMECO

Arranged by WOOGIE

Instead of the cup of coffee that is filled to the brink with the scent of the panicked faced man who was unable to grab on to the woman who got up from her seat first, only the cold remains of the coffee stain remains scarred on the floor. //

Producer WOOGIE, hip-hop musician PENOMECO, and IU. In ‘Empty Cup’, which became a hot issue since the release of the tracklist showing a fresh collaboration between artistes who cover a wide music spectrum, a toned-down IU with a lonely voice, low-fi guitar sound and R&B based band sound, maximise the chic emotions of the song.

08 아이와 나의 바다 (My sea)

Lyrics By IU

Composed By Jehwi / Kim Hee Won

Arranged by Jehwi

I am unable to love myself perfectly

After nights where my heart was down bad,

Only now have I found my ocean. //

The ‘Through the Night’ duo, composers Jehwi and Kim Heewon worked together again on a ballad track. Despite a calm beginning, the grand sound that makes its appearance matches IU’s vocals full of energy, grabbing the attention of listeners for 5 mins and 16 seconds. Also, the rich performance by the string ensemble with 20 members add to the beauty of the song and IU’s powerful high note in the second half with the choir formed by Jehwi’s friends bring the song to a dramatic climax.

09 어푸 (Ah puh)

Lyrics By IU / Lee Chan Hyuk

Composed By Lee Chan Hyuk / PEEJAY

Arranged by PEEJAY

Lets hang out near the ocean until we’re sick of each other.

A refreshing sound with an attack feel, like surfing the waves, the clicking rhythm almost like a camera shutter and a dynamic melody, which bring out the fun lyrics written together by IU and Lee Chan Hyuk. Also, the comment from Lee Chan Hyuk that ‘this would fit (the description of) a modern interpretation of IU’s refreshing songs in the early part of her career’ adds to the various highlights of this song.

10 에필로그 (Epilogue)

Lyrics By IU

Composed By Shim Eun Ji / SUMIN / Kim Soo Yeong / Im Geum Bi

Arranged by Shim Eun Ji / Kim Soo Yeong

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the listeners who willingly shared in conversation with me without an annoyance throughout my talkative twenties.

Not the twenty-three-year-old IU, the twenty-five-year-old IU, nor even the IU last year (28), but the me of right now will now be moving on to the next chapter.

Goodbye ♥

-from Jieun //

Shim Eun Ji, the composer of the last track of IU’s first album of her twenties ‘Spring of a Twenty Year Old’, together with singer-songwriter Kim Soo Yeong, SUMIN and Im Geum Bi, wrote the last track of this album again which brings IU’s twenties to a close. Like a relieved greeting from IU, this is a ballad song that evokes a mysterious atmosphere with a low-fi sound from an old record player and retro feels.

Source: Melon

Translated by IUteamstarcandy

#IU #album introduction #LIlAC

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causesciencethatswhy · 6 months

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i get what you said about jungkook's writing credits but the people who feel disappointed their feelings re valid cause they stanned a group which was small and probably the punching bag of Kpopies so the armys who have been protecting them since years has always taken pride in BTS always having their own credits in the songs. Doens't matter of it's one member or 2-3 cause they used to tell a story about them together and was also written by the people who felt those emotions. Those were grp songs and now they are solos so ppl expect the same from solos too.

Ngl jungkook has done everything that armys used to drag other grps for. The heavy push was not even recieved by BTS ever but since scooter is involved jk got that so why armys used to drag jeremy and bp?? Isn't that hypocritical?

The name of the album is "Golden" the word has been used to describe him for years, the meaning of this album name is "Golden moments of jungkook's life" so if it's his golden moments why's he not there? I expect him to be involved in atleast his title track but alas...

BTS boys lived together so they went through things together so 2-3 members writing and producing and others singing is still different than ed Sheeran who idk if ever met BTS is gonna write about jk's golden moments like does he know about jk the way members do?

I wouldn't mind 90% of the album being creditless but it's literally 100% creditless. wouldn't have mind if it didn't said"golden moments of jungkook's life"..i don't blame jk tho maybe it's the artist block he's going through but it's the comapny and their decision of this 2025 reunion which might have made him feel pressured to release something. He's young and thriving there was no need for him to go early than the age other members went...

Look I'm not saying you can’t have hoped to see more self produced/composed music from him, I say that in the post itself, but it's the way people are completely dismissing his artistry within his music because he doesn't have credits in the album.

Yes there is an immense pride to take in the fact that so much of bangtans work was written and produced by rapline, but jimin literally admitted in the suchitwa how much the vocal line depended on the rapline for lyrics and how he could understand how draining that was for them. I personally don't care for the fanwar bs with blinks and what drags shooters have used against them. The heavy push that jungkook has gotten is actually exactly what bangtan got during dynamite and butter and I don't see anything wrong with it. It aligns with the career trajectory jungkook wants to take and the music he's singing allows for that to happen.

I know that a lot of this comes from people comparing his promo to what other members recieved and all I'm going to say is that I trust the members judgements/involvement in what type of promos they wanted for their albums but each solo stan is dead set in taking away their autonomy from this process.

Which actually encapsulates my argument against "jungkook has no involvement in his album because he's not gotten writing/producing credits". It's an extremely narrow perspective to look at music/album as a whole. Promotions+ actually conveying the emotions of the lyrics+ understanding the rhythm of the music he's performing to perform his choreography+styling and so much more, all would require his direct involvement. To take away any sense of his involvement because we've made writing/prod credits as the end all be all of a performers artistry is quiet dismissive. A lot of big name artists would then be disqualified from this true artistry discussion if we were to go by that rule. (This is not even considering that golden is not even out yet and we have like zero idea on how deeply jungkook involved himself behind the concepts and performances, but knowing how busy he's been and his personality we can surely expect a lot)

Bangtan have self produced and written huge amounts of their music and it was never for the sake of earning some authenticity badge, it's because that's the music they wanted to produce, especially for rapline who started out their careers in music as primarily writers/composers because of the nature of rap music and culture. Vocal line on the other hand have always been responsible for carrying out the emotions and passions that rap line wanted to convey and are integral to the emotional core of what makes bts music so unique.

Jungkook has been talking about his album all the way back since 2018, and it's obvious that being the perfectionist he is, he isn't ready to release music he doesn't feel 100 percent confident about . If singing songs produced/written by other people who he's able to synergise with is what feels right to him, then I don't see why he shouldn't go ahead with it. I don't see how that in any way reduces his own artistry within the music. The way jimin and rapline have talked about self production ,it's obvious how much emotional labour these albums require of them and as proud as I am for each member whose showcased so many raw and vulnerable sides to fans, I also don't think each owe us this vulnerability as a rule to prove their grit as artists.

Look I'm not saying you can’t hope for him to start writing/producing more of his music in the future. I hope for it as well. Still with you is very very close to my heart. But the way people are talking about how they think jungkook is essentially selling out, and his pop music endeavors are all empty and soulless compared to the rest of the members is what gets under my nerves.

I don't feel too comfortable in commenting on whether or not he's been burnt out or there were some other issue for him not pursuing writing/producing at the moment but from everything he's talked about it seems he wants to focus on his expanding his vocal and performance genres which wouldn’t be as easy to do, if he were the one writing it without ever having dabbled/experienced them before.

As for MS, anon please get out of solo stans circles, bangtan made a collective decision and their solo careers are not limited to just before 2025 either. Jungkook has been very vocal about his plans pre and post enlistment, and I take his words as is. The group is and always will be a priority for them and I can assure you the bangtan that'll come back in chapter 3 is also not going to function exactly like they did in chapter 1, there will be plenty more opportunities for all of them in the future and trust army's will be there for all of it.

#jungkook #bts

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ben-talks-art · 7 months

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My Top 10 Scenes in Manga!

I love manga!

It's probably one of my favorite ways of consuming a story. I love the artworks that express the individual style of each creator, the lack of colors that forces artists to get creative with what they can do with white, black, and shades of grey, the enjoyable pace that allows you to consume it as fast or as slow as you want, unlike Anime where you have to adjust to their pacing instead...

Basically, Manga means a lot to me, so I felt it would be fun to list down my top 10 moments in manga. These are not the best drawn, or best written or anything like that, these are just the ones that hit me the most when I first read it, and to this day still remains fondly in my memories.

So be aware of spoilers and let's start!

The Twins Fighting Together (Claymore)

This is a scene from Claymore where two sisters that were genetically altered in order to fight together serving as each other's anchor to humanity lose their control at the same time.

To put it simply, they have a condition where if they use their full power they risk becoming a mindless monster, so they devised a plan where they connect their minds so that one can transform and if they start losing themselves, one sister can bring the other back.

They keep this back and forth in a fight, turning into monster, then turning normal, then watching their sister turn as well, then bringing her back, and on and on, constantly switching who turns and who brings back who... Until eventually they face an opponent so strong that they both are forced to turn into monsters at the same time out of desire to protect her sister.

And when I saw that, saw both of them sacrificing their humanity for each other I somehow gasped and went "Awww!" at the same time. It was some sort of mix of horror and worry but also somehow touching.

The reason this scene sticks with me is because, this was the first time I've ever seen these characters. They never appeared before, and they never show up after this fight... And the manga still managed to make me both love them and feel bad for them in a matter of seconds.

This is so amazing to me, the fact that a story can make me connect so strongly with characters I barely knew just by knowing exactly how much information they need to give and how they need to transmit it to the reader, it makes me feel the power of good storytelling, the power of getting an emotion out of your audience with the skill of your writing and artwork.

This is a scene that makes me love and appreciate manga!

"Are you afraid?" (Ragna & Crimson)

This is a scene where the main lead of the manga starts rampaging against on of the big bads of the series.

Up until this point the character had been mostly a very calm and collected individual, but when we reach this point it feels like some sort of switch flips inside of him and he just starts attacking the villain relentlessly.

This is one of the biggest beatdowns I've seen in manga (and I've seen a lot!) and it sticks out so much due to how personal it feels. The main character isn't just angry, he's calmly angry, as if he's focusing all his energy and fury into making every move counts.

Like for instance, there's a small scene where he starts attacking, then pauses to tie up his jacket, and then proceeds to attack again. You can tell he's completely focused on making sure every move counts, that he makes no mistakes, no error, no missing blows.

And it all builds up to this line, where you finally understand where he's coming from. He's not angry that the villains are bad, he's angry that the villains don't understand why they're bad. That they can kill innocents without regrets but when someone puts them in danger they just start to despair.

It's such a frustrating and relatable anger that transmits itself so well through the pages. You feel his anger, you feel his adrenaline, you feel his desire to beat up this character with everything you have. It's just so good!

"Yes, we can!" (Heaven's Lost Property)

This is one of the hardest I've ever laughed in my entire life.

Just to be clear, real quick. This is not a good series. It has a lot of shameless fanservice featuring teenage girls in uncomfortable situations, and if possible I'd rather not mention it at all... But I need to talk about this damn scene.

This is a chapter where the main lead takes a pair of robot angel girls on a date (because, of course), and they go to the zoo.

The chapter itself is the usual trope fest where the robots struggle to understand emotions which leads to funny shenanigans and weird situations, mostly funny jokes but nothing you have never seen before.

But then we reach the ending joke, and the joke just keeps building up, and building up, and building up, until it turns into pure insanity.

It starts with the robot girls releasing the animals from the cages and causing them to start chasing after the main lead. Okay, that's already kinda cute and funny...

But then the lead starts losing his clothes because the animals keep slashing him and people start thinking he's a terrorist making the animals rampage, then they start calling the police, but then the police starts feeling like they won't be enough to stop him, so they call the army, and then the marines, and then the soldiers start having an existential crisis wondering when will the battle with evil ever end, and then we cut to (at the time) president Obama for whatever reason to let us know he believes in us!

And it just gets dumber and dumber, until eventually the main guy is arrested with all his classmates giving interviews and talking about how they can't believe he would stood this low and all the while I'm just "What am I reading!!??"

The jump from a date at the zoo to... Whatever this was, was so absurd I couldn't stop laughing.

By far one of the funniest moments in any manga I've ever read.

"Nothing Happened" (One Piece)

This is another scene that only works because of the escalation of events.

Thriller Back is one of my favorite arcs of One Piece, mostly due to how things start so small and then just keep going and never feel like they stop.

At first, the main characters just do their usual routine of stopping at some random piece of land, finding out it's being ruled by some big jerk, and then going out of their way to beat him up and help the locals.

But, again, unlike other arcs with this exact same formula, this one sticks out from just how much things escalate.

We start with the heroes fighting some giant Frankenstein monster with elastic powers, followed by their captain joining the fight and helping them beat the monster, but then the monster stands up again while all the characters are exhausted, so they all need to work together to beat him for good, but then the mad doctor that made the monster shows up and picks up a fight with the heroes again, but this time they're on a time limit and even more exhausted than before, and then they beat him, BUT THEN, another even bigger threat appears to also pick a fight with them, except this time the captain is out for good which leads to all of them getting pulverized, BUT! THEN! one of the heroes offers himself to take the punishment for his Captain, even though he runs a high risk of dying, even though they all have been going through hell that entire night, and then he finally takes it, going through possibly one of the worst pains imaginable...

And then the arc finally ends with the guy just going "Eh... Wasn't a big deal."

It feels like such a rollercoaster where things just kept getting worse and worse for the heroes but they still never showed any fear or hesitation that they would win in the end.

That one line at the end carries so much weight behind it. When I reached it I couldn't believe that THIS was how they were going to end that gigantic non-stop fight.

It was so cool.

"It Didn't Work" (All You Need Is Kill)

This is one of those stories where the main lead is stuck in a time loop.

Throughout the whole series, our guy has been doing all he can to find out what he can do to escape. He's been learning how to fight, learning how to talk to people, how to focus on his tasks, how to use his armor, how to use questions to look for other loopers, using a marker to keep track of how many times he died and went back in time...

You feel his desperation, his mind starting to break, his will starting to give up... But then he finally finds out how to break the cycle.

He finds an answer that can get him out, makes all the necessary preparations to make sure he succeeds, makes sure nothing could go wrong, you see him fighting and struggling for his life as he can practically sense the taste of freedom approaching his fingers...

And then... He starts the loop again. And his body, almost as if moving on its own, grabs the marker to set another day, but when he finishes marking it his hand starts shaking, as if all the frustration finally started to kick in.

This is one moment that makes you go "God, that must suck so much" because you can sense how ready he was to finally be free, but the manga was all "not there yet, my guy."

Very frustrating, but at the same time, very engaging.

"It's Not Trivial" (Even if you don't do it)

God, I love this scene.

This is the part where the main lead is being confronted by the wife of the man she had an affair with and basically asked why did she do it.

She goes on to say how she simply wasn't feeling loved by her own husband anymore, how she was craving for some kind, ANY kind of comfort, of display of affection, of reassurance that she was someone worth being loved... with the wife just going "Is that it?", questioning how she doesn't feel ashamed of resorting to adultery over something so trivial, to which she replies "It's not trivial."

We always think our pain matter more, our pain is bigger, our life is harsher, our problems are more important, we are the bigger victims, we are the ones who deserve justice more... and that causes us to forget that other people struggle too, and not only that, most people struggle more.

I like this because it shows a big, big problem in society today, the struggle to sympathize with the problems of others.

Like, here's this woman who all her life always felt she had no right to complain because she felt her problems were too small and not worth complaining about... And in this moment, she realizes her problems aren't trivial, they aren't too small, they are worth complaining about, because they are your problems, and even if others would not be hurt by them, you are, and you have the right to try to avoid what hurts you.

Yes, the wife is the victim, yes, she's in her right to be antagonistic to our main lead... But that does not mean her pain matters more... or less! All our pains affect us in different ways and in different sizes.

Mind you, I don't think it's anyone's obligation to force yourself to relate to others, to feel sorry for others, to like others, or to forgive others if you don't think you have it in yourself the conditions to do it, but I think it's important to keep in mind that each person's struggles affect us in different ways, and that your pain does not make you matter more than others.

"Chainsaw Man... Doesn't Spit!" (Chainsaw Man)

(Told you there would be spoilers)

This is from the climatic confrontation between Makima and Chainsawman where she, in my opinion, perfectly shows the harm and toxicity that comes from the concept of entitlement.

You force your ideals on others against their will, you go out of your way to manipulate their lives and make decisions that will affect their future without their consent, you bring pain and struggles that they might not be ready to deal with, you ignore the consequences of your actions and refuse to look at the damage you cause, you install this same mentality on others who follow and trust you and motivate them to do the same...

All because you think you're right and they're wrong... And you refuse to let things play out in a path you disagree with.

This scene is so perfect because it's so simple. The big evil bad of the series is just a grown kid who wants things her way or the highway.

"Chainsaw Man doesn't spit, doesn't wear clothes, every action he does should be chaotic..."

It's such a beautifully perfect display of the ugliness of entitlement, and all done with such simple actions and simple lines.

This is what good writing should be. Conveying big impactful messages by making use of effective methods that make it easy to process and digest.

"I don't Know- Pi..." (Takopi's Original Sin)

This the climax of the manga Takopi's Original Sin.

Our little octopus guy with God-like powers is confronted by his best friend with the question of why does she have to suffer? Why couldn't she be happy? What did she do wrong? What should she have done? Why isn't a space alien octopus with a time-traveling camera (this manga was weird...) able to fix all her problems? What's the answer?

And that's just so relatable. We want our pain to have a deeper meaning, to believe we're not suffering in vain, that there's a bigger reason, and that someone out there knows this reason, and that we'll one day find that person and they'll make everything make sense to us.

And he just replies... He doesn't know.

He doesn't know how to fix her life, how to solve her problems, what she should have done... He just doesn't know.

Sometimes life simply has problems that we won't be able to solve and hardships that we won't be able to avoid. We can try our best to avoid it, but the more time, energy, and effort we spend trying to run away from an unescapable pain, more time we lose that could have been used to moving on.

Maybe there is a bigger plan, maybe every struggle we face does have a deeper meaning or has an easy solution that could have solved it all... But who can tell that we will be able to figure it out?

There are some pains that we just need to accept. Sometimes we have a little pet, or friend, or parent that we wish we could keep by our side forever, but we just can't. We have to say goodbye at some point because life goes on.

It's a painful part of life, but it doesn't have to be all there is to life.

"It was my desk" (Silent Voice)

This is the closest I ever got to crying while reading a manga... And I don't know why.

It's the scene where the bully kid from Silent Voice, after weeks of spotting the girl with hearing disability from his class arriving early every day to clean one of the tables of the room because it kept getting filled with awful messages from the other kids, and after her leaving the class, finally notices that the table she was cleaning all this time was actually his.

This was such a whirlwind of emotions.

The realization that the people you trusted were actually betraying you, the realization that the girl you were hurting not only didn't hold any grudge but actually considered you someone dear. Dear enough to be worth going through the trouble of hiding these messages every day.

The realization that the person you thought was weak was in fact so strong, and that you who you assumed were strong was actually so weak.

This is one of the best and one of the biggest reality checks I've seen. Having to accept how small, fragile, vulnerable, and misguided you are, and that the person you believed was so far behind in the race of life was actually miles and miles ahead and you just have so much damn catching up to do.

When people say "coming of age" story, this is what comes to my mind. A kid finally understanding what a real adult is, and the he isn't it, but not only that, understanding that this is what he needs to be. What he WANTS to be.

Learning what it means to be a good person, to be better, and wanting that for yourself as well.

What a powerful scene.

"Stop Faudo, Leo" (Zatch Bell)

And to end things on a lighter note, my all-time favorite scene from Zatch Bell, aka, the one that happens RIGHT AFTER THE ANIME TAKES A DIFFERENT DIRECTION!

For those that don't know, the Zatch Bell author broke his hand during the production of the anime so they had to create an original story to fill up what happens with the conclusion of the arc since they had no manga to adapt... And the filler starts literally before we get to this scene. It's literally the start of chapters that never got adapted, and it is my favorite scene!!

In Dragon Ball terms, this is as if you stopped adapting the manga right before Android# 16 gets killed by Cell and an anime original content is used instead where Gohan wins with the power of friendship or something... Let that sink in.

But anyway, the scene itself...

This is where the heroes get informed that the villains of the arc are gonna use their big FU weapon called Faudo to destroy Japan out of vengeance because the heroes placed a device inside the weapon that will make it vanish in a matter of hours.

The villains capture the heroes and try to force them to turn off the device while the heroes try to force them to turn off the weapon.

And I just love the difference between the ways they talk.

The villains act all sophisticated trying to act polite as if they were closing a business before ordering the waitress for the check so they can go home, while the heroes just act like they are possessed by some sort of entity.

They don't even try to hold a conversation, they just go "Stop the weapon! Stop the weapon!! STOP! THE! DAMN! WEAPON!"

You can feel how in their heads nothing else matters, the entire world around them vanishes, and their only thing they can think about is making sure the people from Japan stay safe.

And this is what I love about the heroes in Zatch Bell, they always put the innocents first.

The big focus of Zatch Bell is the theme of empathy and sympathy. People connect with each other and they feel each other's pain, struggles, goals, wills, fears, and joys.

This is a series that shows the importance of socializing and learning what it means to coexist with other people and the impact that can have on you and you can have on others.

Heck, the big goal of the main character is just to make sure a little girl doesn't have to cry again.

Everything is about understanding how the pain of others also matters and how you can have the power to make a change, and this scene where the heroes are just on autopilot, totally focused on making sure nobody gets hurt again feels like the culmination of that sentiment.

This is why I love this series, why I love these characters, and why I always try to tell myself I'm not the only one that matters in this world, no matter how much I want to sometimes, and that if I can do something for others, then maybe I should.

If you're able to make someone's day better, no matter how little you think you can do for them, always take the chance to risk it and do it, because you never know how big of an impact it might have.

You always have more power and strength than you think you have!

Anyways... That's it for now. Feel free to reblog this with your favorite manga moments that meant something to you if you feel like it.

Have a nice day!

#top 10 #manga #manga spoilers #one piece #chainsaw man manga #ragna crimson #even if you don't do it #takopi's original sin #zatch bell #all you need is kill #silent voice #sora no otoshimono #claymore #top 10 list

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forgotten-from-the-realm · 3 months

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My idiots' general opinions about companions and each other

Astarion

Artemis: His skills are useful. I like his drive, but he could do to gain some sort of moral fiber rather than just seeking amusement.

Astrophel: Oh, he's the best. I would like to know more about him, but I get the feeling that the two of us are too alike for an honest conversation.

Azriel: Hm... he's a hunter in his own right. I can respect that... he also has a pretty good sense of humor.

Kieran: He's odd and livelier than most undead that I've met. I don't know how to feel about it, but he's nice, I think. He's sneaky sneaky, too.

Shadowheart

Artemis: Her devotion is admirable, but I wish she would allow herself... something more while she has her whole life ahead of her.

Astrophel: A kind and devoted soul. I... feel a little bad for her, the gods, especially ones as petty as Shar, rarely reward such things, but as long as she's happy, then whatever.

Azriel: She's a nice person and a good friend to have.

Kieran: Her goddess freaks me out, but she's nice. I like helping her heal the others.

Gale

Artemis: An ambitious wizard is hardly a novelty, but straj, he'd put a lot of them to shame. Whether that's good or bad remains to be seen.

Astrophel: Oh, he's a delight. Normally not entirely fond of wizards, but he's nice to listen to. Hm, wonder if he'd loan me any books...

Azriel: He's smart, but he's not the wisest guy there is, huh....

Kieran: ...I don't think he likes me or thinks much about me, but I... wanna get along with him. ...maybe learn a few words, too...

Lae'zel

Artemis: She's a devoted warrior. I... don't exactly trust her goddess. Vlaakith isn't like my father's goddess, but I can't help but be unsettled by an entire race showing one deity such reverence.

Astrophel: I knew a githyanki, once, before I met her... he was... very different than how she is, not sure they'd get along. That said, she's one of the more unique souls I've ever met.

Azriel: Heh, I like her style.

Kieran: ...I want to know about the funeral rites of her people, just in case.

Karlach

Artemis: Heh, she's strong... very strong. I want to aid her in getting her heart fixed in whatever way I can. Someone like her is worth facing the hells for.

Astrophel: Oh, she's... wow. The better poets would have a field day writing about her, as they should, really. She deserves to be immortalized, I think.

Azriel: I'm really glad she isn't dead, and I'll do whatever I can to keep her from begin dead.

Kieran: She's fun! ...I'll be sad when that weird thing goes out.

Wyll

Artemis: He's an honorable man, one of the best I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. He will regain some of what he has lost. I will make sure of it.

Astrophel: ...at least he sold his soul for an honorable cause, but I'm sure there is a loophole in his contract somewhere...

Azriel: I don't think much of the noble prince thing he has going for him, but he isn't a bad person to know.

Kieran: When he passes, he will be honored greatly by everyone who's lives he played a part in. There are few that can attest to the same.

Halsin

Artemis: A wise man. I'd seek out his council on most matters.

Astrophel: He's unique, I'll give him that. He's the type of elf that has a lot of stories to tell, and I'd love to hear his most interesting.

Azriel: His connection to the earth is admirable...

Kieran: He's wise and respects the natural order of things. I can respect that, though... do I wonder if he would... make a little wooden duck for me...

Minthara

Artemis: She was wise to reject Lolth, but I do not trust her. My honor is unstained and my hands are ready to deliver justice for all that she has slain... but everyone deserves a chance at redemption, even those like her.

Astrophel: As lovely and twice as deadly as the most lethal of nightshades... I do not envy anyone that invokes her ire, but if she calls me a faerie again, I'm stabbing her in her sleep.

Azriel: Deadly and loyal, a good mix.

Kieran: She reminds me a little of those in the cult of Myrkul I knew... calculated and cruel, but she's different in the fact that she'll at least kill while the enemy can fight back sometimes.

Jaheira

Artemis: A just and stern soul. My mother used to read me stories about her when I was still a child. Words do not do her justice.

Astrophel: Others of my profession tell such tall tales of her, but I must admit, her actual story seems far more interesting.

Azriel: She knows my true nature and allows me to live anyway... it's more than I deserve, probably.

Kieran: She'll live forever in the hearts of many for her heroic deeds from before and now... though, for her sake, I hope the bards get it right this time.

Minsc/Boo

Artemis: He's a warrior, and I would hope to spar against him one day.

Astrophel: Well, his hamster is adorable, but I'm not so sure what to think about the man himself. He's an honest soul, and those usually don't associate with the likes of me.

Azriel: ...I don't know how to feel about him calling himself my uncle, honestly.

Kieran: Boo is cute, but uh... Minsc... worries me.

Artemis

Astrophel: Ah, the noble, just paladin... truly the heroine of a great tale of chivalry and honor... forgive me if I fall asleep halfway through.

Azriel: Her thirst for spider's blood is only matched by her love of shiny things. Just need to keep her focus on our enemies.

Kieran: She's kind... I really like her. She gave me rocks that were kind of shiny that I like to keep with some bones I thought were neat.

Astrophel

Artemis: He's a more prolific liar than poet, and it shows. Though, whatever he's hiding, he doesn't seem to want to harm anyone.

Azriel: He's useful for his charms, but I prefer Alfira over him.

Kieran: He likes to tell me stories about all sorts of things... he said he's going to teach me to read when we get time, but I doubt he'll be able to.

Azriel

Artemis: If we can keep his bloodlust focused on the enemy rather than on us, then he is an asset. Should he lose control, though... I will put him to the sword.

Astrophel: I don't trust him, but I don't dislike him either. He... tries, so I'll support him... but he'll have to forgive me if I'm not eager to get too close after the last bard he was left alone with.

Kieran: Unnatural death follows him like a shadow... he is a killer, but he is kind, too. I don't know what to think about it all, but he is strong enough to fight his own demons...

Kieran

Artemis: I have... never thought I would meet a cleric who does not know the name of the god they serve... nor one that was so flippant about life and death.

Astrophel: I've never met someone so blunt before, but it adds to some of his charm... They just need to learn to read, and I'm sure they'll be... well, not better, but maybe more articulate.

Azriel: He's wiser than his naivety would imply. I would trust them to bury me with the greatest care and not much else.

#ch: azriel aelysar #ch: astrophel nightshade #ch: artemis vennyl #ch: kieran mors #musings

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transandersrights · 1 year

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Not sure if you are still taking prompts (if you aren't then please ignore me!), but you know that tumblr post that talks about how Sera and Fenris should've switched between games? Could we have some scenes of her just interacting with the other DA2 companions?

I'm def still taking prompts! (info here for anyone interested)

I tried to write banter-style, dialogue-only interactions here, one for each companion with Sera (except Fenris, who is currently living his best life in Inquisition killing Venatori):

Aveline:

“Lizards in the west quarter.” “Yep.” “Dead rat in the private water supply.” “Yup!” “Honey on the door handles.” “Didn’t do it, but the honey came from me.” “Snakes in the Orlesian ambassador’s vault.” “Ooh, not me, but a good idea.” “Fine. Offal on the Chantry steps?” “Oh, that was me.” “You are so lucky I haven’t arrested you, Sera. You know these are all confessions?” “But you won’t. You already thought I did it, and you don’t have to know to arrest me. So admitting it won’t change a thing.” “I suppose.” “Do you agree with me?” “…No. Of course not.” “I think that sounds like someone who does. Thanks, I guess! You should quit your job.”

Varric:

“D’you write about me too?” “That would depend on if you wanted me to write your story, Buttercup.” “Wait. Did you ask Aveline if she wanted that written about herself?” “Well, not really. But she’s our illustrious guard captain, so it’s alright. What you do… it’s a little more sensitive. That’s why I’m not in my own books, if you catch my drift.” “What we do is completely different, richie. Nothing sensitive about taking back what should be ours.” “Do you want the whole city to know who to blame next time every vase in Hightown gets filled with sewer water?” “Hmm, might be nice. But no. So you’re not writing about me?” “I write about Hawke sometimes. You might come up.” “Rad! Make sure I have a hot girlfriend. And she should have way bigger tits than Avvy has in those dirty illustrations.” “Oh, of course that was your concern. Why did I expect anything else?” “Don’t know. I only ask the really important questions.”

Carver:

“Must’ve been rubbish, growing up with mages.” “Must’ve been rubbish growing up in Denerim.” “Yeah, bloody awful. You too?” “Mages aren’t exactly a place. Grow big enough and get a big enough sword, and you can just walk out.” “And that got you in exactly the same shithole as Denerim and my arrows got me, so maybe you’re not as mighty as you thought.” “Or maybe we’re both exactly as mighty as we think. You’re pretty good with that bow.” “I’m pretty mighty. Don’t think you can live up to all that.” “But we’re little people too. In the… non-literal sense, in my case.” “Yeah, all little with that biiig house up on the hill.” “All little because we don’t have the money to own it. All little, sleeping on the floor with the dog every other night in Gamlen’s piss hovel.” “Don’t know why you want to insist we both have it so hard. It’s not going to make me like you more.” “Doesn’t matter. I’m just setting the record straight.”

Bethany:

“I don’t mind if you’re scared of me, you know. You can say! I’ll keep my distance.” “Good. Because you should.” “I know the others mind that you don’t like magic, but I don’t. I think it’s smart.” “You don’t get to be all familiar just because you agree.” “You’re right. I just wanted you to know that I don’t hold it against you.” “Wouldn’t care if you did. Maybe you should hold it against me.” “I don’t see any reason to. Do you want me to be angry at you?” “Most people are when I tell them stuff like it is.” “Well, I suppose I’m stronger than being bothered by something I already see as true. I’m sorry about all of it, Sera. I just can’t change anything that means I won’t scare you.” “I don’t want you to, alright? Just let it be. I don’t care how you feel about your magic as long as you do it as little as possible and point it at the bad guys.” “What about if I point it at Templars?” “They can be bad guys too. Templars are bullies. Just because they stop magic from hurting people doesn’t mean they don’t hurt other people.” “I see your point. Okay, bad people only. And if I do anything else…” “Arrow between the eyes. Won’t even think about it.” “Thank you.”

Sebastian:

“Sera, if you don’t mind me asking… you do believe in the Maker, yes?” “Sure I do. It makes enough sense to me.” “And you believe in Andraste, and the teachings of the Chantry.” “Depends on what it is, but yes.” “Ah, I understand. So you don’t see any issue with stealing or chaos, despite their position in the Chantry’s teachings.” “Well, I said I believed some of it. Andraste? Sure. Maker? Why not. But the stealing stuff… that’s just something made up by rich people to keep the little people in their place. It’s not actually about the Maker.” “The Chantry is an important institution for maintaining the moral order of society! What it offers all of us is unparalleled. I am glad you understand the basics, but if you need any further instruction into the finer points, I would be glad to lend my aid.” “Yeah, not interested.” “Why not?” “Too much waffling about shoulds and shouldn’ts. Chantry should be about how things were, not what people with too much money want it to be.” “I… am afraid I do not understand you, Sera.” “You don’t need to, rich boy.”

Anders:

“You think it’s right, don’t you?” “What?” “Templars, Circles, the Chantry. You think they’re right about locking us up. Keeping us away from people like you.” “I mean, yeah. So you don’t go all demon-y on us.” “And what’s happened to some means no one gets their freedom? No one at all?” “If I say yes, will you go demon-y on me? Because I won’t think before I shoot.” “No, I suppose you wouldn’t. So would you? Say yes, that is.” “Course I would. I’ve known mages. Firstly, you’re weird. Secondly, people go all torches and pitchforks if they think there’s one around. Safer for everyone if you’re not.” “Somehow, I don’t think there’s much point arguing with you on this one.” “Damn right there isn’t. You’re not changing my mind.” “Oh, trust me. I know. You’re not as novel as you think.”

Isabela:

“You know, I think I might have seen you before. In Ferelden.” “I’ve been to many places, Sera. It’s definitely possible.” “Was it over by the Pearl? Did you like the Pearl? Lots of people do.” “It’s definitely a fun establishment. All the right kinds of fun. The Rose is nice, but I don’t think it can compare.” “Rose is too fancy. Take your boots off, don’t look at anyone, have the decency to be ashamed, all of that.” “Oh, I haven’t found it all that bad. There are a couple of really lovely girls I could introduce you to, if you think you want a better time. We could go together.” “Together together?” “If you’d like. I’d be up for it.” “Sounds good. I’m in.”

Merrill:

“You’re weird.” “Am I? I hadn’t noticed.” “You’re all… elfy. Magey. It’s weird.” “Oh, maybe to some people! It’s very normal for me though. I’ve always been elfy and magey, actually.” “Pfft. Well, don’t start shoving it on me.” “I wouldn’t. You clearly don’t want to hear it — and even if I wanted you to, and I wanted to tell you about all the wonderful things I know, I don’t think you’d listen. There are a lot of other people who want to know.” “La la la, that won’t work on me!” “I’m… not trying anything?” “Well, nothing won’t do anything either. Won’t make yourself seem all harmless just like that. I know what you are. Smiling doesn’t change that.” “You’re right, it doesn’t. I think nothing is nicer than trying to tell you, though. I’ll stick with nothing unless you change your mind.” “I won’t!”

#sera dai #dragon age 2 #dragon age fanfiction #sera #sera dragon age #to be clear I enjoy Sera a lot!! I just think she would butt heads w a lot of the da2 companions #ty for the request!! and reminder to everyone else that I take them at all times

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youwontlikethisblog · 9 months

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Just Aiden- An Introduction

Hi!

I've been hesitant to make a post about the book because I'm so scared I'll do it wrong. You know, I read all these post about how to have a social media presence as a writer and how you have to have this niche and blah blah blah, and I think to myself "What is my niche? How will I make these post to promote my writing and engage future readers?" and the reality is I often feel like my goals don't align with others so I fear making a fool out of myself but I'm currently re-writing Just Aiden, yes, the book I thought I was done writing and sent out to an editor/agent who ghosted me when I wasn't liking the book cover ideas they had sent me, amazing, right?

Truth be told, after about a year of being away from that "Would've been final version" edit, I'm so glad the editor ghosted me lol. It wasn't all that great. I focused too much on the character rather than the story itself and while my writing style is heavily character based, characters still have stories to tell.

I had a lot of reflecting on my writing and realizations of what I want as a writer during that year break that I feel more confident in my ability to write, judge, and know when to stop and all though I think I'll never be satisfied with the end result as I am so detail oriented, I can be content with whatever version I finally decide to publish.

Just Aiden is the story of a girl who didn't have the best upbringing and I know a lot of us are tired of reading stories about wounded and traumatized main characters and would really rather read a book of someone who has always seemingly not dealt with trauma; I wanted to have a go at the traumatized main character.

Has it been fun? Yes and No. Sometimes I wish I had a brick wall in front of me so I could slam my head against it.

Aiden Kyles was born out of my disdain of Main Characters with pale skin, auburn/blonde/bright red haired girls that burn at just the whisper of the sun, who are beautiful and skinny and don't know it, yet have every guy fawning over them. Of guys who are abusive, assault, and even at times r*pe the MC is an act of jealousy and show her just how much they love them because love makes them act crazy and being told that's okay because he cried and apologized and how secretly MC liked it.

Did I mention I have an infinite disdain and hatred filled relationship with this formula in writing?

God! The amount of books I read as a teen with characters just as those two mentioned above were too much! So many different authors, universes, names, cities, and characters and each single one was exactly the same. No matter the Genre I was reading, The MC was beautiful and she didn't know it, hell even if she was strong and fierce, she didn't know it, and even if she was confident and knew her worth, she still didn't know it. Always being told she was kind, selfless, warm, and special and yet all her actions always painted her in this selfish arrogant way while I was being force fed the idea she wasn't that at all.

My Aiden is confident, she knows how beautiful she is that it's as if her own beauty was a separate character. She's sharp and witty, manipulative, mean, arrogant, really only thinks about messing with people out of boredom and doesn't care for anyone but her best friend, who follows the classic Female Main Character formula, Roxanna.

Their duo works as an Anti-Hero and Hero type of friendship. You know, like Armando and Calderon type of beat, except instead of Betty and Armando telling the story it's Calderon telling it.

If you want to know more about this world I've created, stick along. I'll try to make updates about it at least once a week!

'Til next time :)

#writing #just aiden #WIP

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doctor-ciel · 6 months

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hey. Hey. i’m a random internet stranger and i need to know every detail of your classmates overreacting to that poem about kink. what do you mean they SCREAMED ??????

(Post in question). I’m not making this rebloggable for my own privacy and peace of mind, and for the sake of the people I talk about in this post. I'm also going to leave this up for 24 hours max to give anon the chance to read this.

Ok so some background information about the guy who wrote this poem, is that he always wrote weird poems in a humorous tone. Not in a limerick style, but think the kind of tone a limerick tends to have, with the rhyming and everything. For example, another one of his poems was about loving meat but it kinda became obvious that the poem was about cannibalism. Our teacher liked his poems and said a few different times that she could always tell when one was written by him.

In this poem, each stanza was a few lines about admirable traits he got from different heritages(I don’t remember them exactly but I think one of them was Irish), with the last line being a fetish that he claimed to inherit from that part of his family. He clarified during the workshop that none of them were actual fetishes of his, they were either made up or belonged to his friends(idk whether this was true or something he said bc of people’s reaction, but either way it doesn’t matter).

To me the poem was parodying people who idolize their european heritage and pokes holes in the fantasy that older times were an age of valor and shit, but we never got to talk about anything like that in his workshop.

The way this class worked was that we all had read this a week prior(or 20 minutes prior if you’re me and procrastinate). So they weren’t wailing as their first reaction to it. It was more that the longer everyone had to talk about this poem the louder they got.

People skirted around the subject matter a while. But as they kept circling the drain their disgust with it became more apparent. Lots of groaning and laughing like “haha are we really talking about this?” Please bear in mind that as I think the only 19 year old, I was the youngest in the class. I think I was the only freshman. Everyone was adults.

One of the kinks in the poem was inflation, and my teacher didn’t know what it was. Half the class jumped to say “NONONO DON’T LOOK you DON’T want to know”, and a few minutes later when she said she had looked it up the same people all wailed and pulled their hands across their face and fake sobbed. This teacher was a graduate student and was the same age or even younger than some of the students in the class. Only about half the class acted this way, I imagine the silent half thought the poem was normal. There was one girl who offered to sell feet pics to his friend and he said he’d get in touch, that was cool.

Anyway this guy came in for one more class where he was silent the whole time, and never came to class again.

I told my mom about what happened and she said she was surprised to see people my age react so negatively when her generation had worked so hard to push sexual freedom. And was especially surprised this was coming from a creative writing class when the people who take those classes should be the type that likes to express themselves. That about sums up my thoughts too.

This is part of a larger problem that I noticed in a lot of my classmates in the creative writing program, and I don’t know if it’s a problem with my school specifically or a general problem with this generation and the writing major. I’ve noticed a lot of people seem to have picked this major because they write and/or read as a hobby to comfort themselves or relax. When they have to read or write heavy material, they get uncomfortable or even lash out. The quarter before that, people almost always complained about the short stories we were assigned to read, often calling them “pointless” or “boring and dark” (meanwhile I enjoyed every one of them, and usually got weird looks for saying that. A lot of times I ended up being the only one or one of the only ones who had anything to say during the discussion, and my teacher had to basically lead the whole thing herself.)

One of the units in that class was nonfiction and one guy wrote about his close friend who killed himself. It was a really good piece, he didn’t talk about the suicide itself but reflected on his friend, and how his friend group changed after graduation and it changed how he saw the adult life ahead of him. During his workshop he said that writing it was cathartic and therapeutic. Another student told him it was irresponsible to write something so triggering and said he should not have written it. Either implied or said directly(I think it was said directly) that creative writing should be uplifting, not bring you down.

It seems to me that these sort of people wanted going to college to mean turning their hobby into a degree, without having to see anything uncomfortable. But that’s exactly what college is, ESPECIALLY if you’re going into anything that deals with writing. These were all beginner-level classes that I was able to take as a freshman, so I think what I was seeing was all of these people’s first realization that college was not going to be what they thought it was.

#chris post #ask

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fauvester · 3 years

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I started TMA so I had something to listen to and Not look at a screen and lots of my friends like it.. I’m on ep 27 and mostly listening out of momentum and hope so far, it’s got a big thesaurus-happy poorly-written creepypasta Something normal happened but it was.... off.... somehow... eyes/meat/sound/skin was.. unnatural...... color inverted mickey mouse OooooOoooOooo....... vibe. It wants what Nightvale effortlessly has

#i'm.... ech.......#it just feels like it's trying SO hard.#but it is really not scary or compelling to me so far #part of it is that its supposed to be .. you know... accounts from many people #but the writing style is exactly the same for each 'story' no matter who's telling it #so it's just hard to suspend disbelief #now that i'm writing it out im like Damn it sounds like i really dislike this show #it's fine... in any case i'm too lazy to look up a different one #but I wouldnt recommend it

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sugar-petals · 3 years

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can you give us more thoughts about domestic yoongles? the taemin's one (wich I love) just made me miss the cat boy so much ;o;

i have a phd in househusband yoongi so let me fire out some ideas for ya.

myg at home headcanon

🐱 word count. 1.9k | fluff, slice of life, slight nsfw mentions, x reader, bullet points

The doorbell sound is a recording of Yoongi imitating a doorbell. He’s such a meme. Ceci n'est pas une pipe.

Seemingly, he teaches himself a new recipe every week. To perfection. Yoongi is very particular about sticking to the recipe and wielding his kitchen tools in the right way. He collects knives, olive oil, and still hates cutting onions.

He separates sleep time, work time, and couple time as the holy trinity. For each, he switches his mood.

Blushes easily no matter for how long you’ve been together.

Establishes his own radio show where he DJs at one point.

Yoongi keeps an extreme track on the garbage schedule. He knows exactly what is due when. Separating the trash is a must. That includes sorting out fake friends trying to get between your relationship. Your social circle as a couple is extremely deliberate.

Yoongi deems himself a terrible host for guests. Unless Hoseok is there to drag him out, it's true he rather stays in the kitchen or at the barbecue preparing the menu courses rather than making small talk. He leaves the hospitality bits to you, however you want to go about it.

What he lacks in conversing with guests, he makes up in bed, God is absolutely fair.

He sings and hums pretty often and has his own vernacular of extraterrestrial uwu noises. It's an alphabet that you have to yet decipher but it's incredibly cute.

Self-made paintings everywhere around his house.

Yoongi hasn't gone clubbing since grammar school. The most he does is going to a restaurant at lunch with very close friends. And always in a work context. His private life is so secluded from everything else and paparazzi just don't spot him anywhere, Dispatch thinks he must live abroad.

Very well, he does consider his big ole house a separate country. It's a living organism with a studio, gym, trophy room, small-size basketball court, and vastly equipped kitchen. A home theater as well, he likes American movies (like Inception) and Korean action genres, and you can stream whatever you fancy in there whenever you like.

Yes, he has underwear with cute little bears on.

There's even a little pond in the backyard. Yoongi, Pisces he is, likes fishes after all. Sometimes he sits at the edge of the 'Little Ole Min Lake (LOML)' and stares into the water for literal hours with his chin parked on his palm.

His fridge is so high-tech and futuristic, even Yoongi is rendered clueless by its AI sometimes. The washing machine, too.

Yoongi watches RuPaul’s drag race. What did you expect? He finds it so humorous.

Owns lord knows how many comic collections.

Favorite holiday destination: New York.

Christmas is basically 50% you unveiling new music equipment to him in the garage and Yoongi almost fainting at the sexiness of it. The other 50% is spent holding hands and orgasm after orgasm until the new year since you loose track of time.

Goes on long rants why he’d marry you again every weekend.

Making you presents is his specialty. Always accompanied with a hand-written note. He writes a lot of things by hand for you in general. Texting, basically never. Always on paper.

No sex without a blanket and socks on. Yoongi gets cold very very easily and just doesn’t like showing skin. You buy him a heated blanket for his birthday, he even uses it in his studio chair.

Chronically addicted to making out.

Matching black outfits and glasses.

Laughs at even your worst jokes or phrases you didn’t expect you even uttered.

Yoongi owns the phoniest, most secretive-looking black car ever and nobody knows about it. Even he forgets he owns it, in fact he genuinely acts like it just doesn’t exist. Hilarious. And that guy has a level 1 Korean driver's license. Which allows him to drive trailers and busses and fucking trucks, and construction machines, let that sink in.

It's really a genius curse. Yoongi being put to the test will always deliver but he won't choose to execute his full skillset if he doesn't have to. Well, pragmatic. He's not as phony as he thinks he is, which is even more hilarious.

He uses that behemoth of a car so scarcely because he'd rather have things delivered to his doorstep and he's stingy with gas. Also, he doesn't like traffic and driving because of the traumatic shoulder accident and his tendency to space out. Translation: You drive that thing... that monster... it really is an impressive, fast, and scary machine.

If someone devious ever even remotely manages to invade his privacy and get past the doubly-installed security system, he has enough money to deal with it no matter what.

If it concerns your privacy, he's a red belt. And owns Jin's number if a taekwondo master is required. Jimin's if it needs someone with kendo skills.

If Yoongi needs someone to go on a complete rampage, Jungkook lives just down the block. He can sprint to Yoongi's bunker I mean mansion within 45 seconds. 30 if it's very urgent. 20 if the reward is an instant ramen splurge with Yoongi's black card.

He has a sexy, glamorous sword collection hanging on the living room wall anyways, so. Who the hell is dumb enough to mess with him and his expensive lawyer in the first place.

But just in case, who knows... Yoongi settles matters shruggingly, anonymously, and with cash and he's too exhausted for violence, but don't underestimate his deter-min-ation and network for emergencies. Also, he is Agust D after all.

He will bonk a naughty burglar or kidnapper across the head with a wooden cooking spoon or take him down by throwing a basketball if the situation requires it. Damn, his reflexes are so fast, a feral cat in motion. So, lean back and sip on your drink of choice. Things are cared for.

If Yoongi is the one being kidnapped or a highly skilled stalker invades the property at night when he's fast asleep (nothing can wake this man during certain hours, strong REM right here): Don't forget that honeyboy is a Dodgers fan. There are signed baseball bats everywhere in this damn house.

In that sense, your parents visiting you here for the first time thought you were an undercover thug couple. Not to worry mom and dad, you both just like sports very much okay.

Yoongi walks around in all black clothes and the rooms are all seemingly dark. Even if you live together, you don't know his skin care routine. It's clear to you he's some sort of vampire.

Since Yoongi always forgets to remove his makeup, you made it a habit to wipe it down when he's about to pass out. He won't lie, he enjoys that kind of affection.

Holly is your resident child. You're essentially a family.

He insists to tackle this by himself, Yoongi sees his therapist monthly. Not shifting responsibility is something he's stubborn about and he pours his emotions into writing. You will do conversation about deeper stuff, but he says it's mostly up to him and his own mind. He dislikes burdening you or opening up too much and it's something to respect rather than force him about. If he wants to share a thought, he will. It doesn’t mean he can’t trust you or sucks at communicating (we know that he’s direct). Yoongi simply can’t put that much pain in such few words nor should you alleviate it for him.

Calls from the manager faze Yoongi as much as Jimin is bothered by gravity. If he’s busy kissing your body slow mo, who the hell dares to disturb his worship.

This man had so many let-downs and interpersonal catastrophes in his life, he's super discerning with people. Because he rolls that way, during their first meeting Yoongi uses his psychology certificate on your friends. You see him squint at them, he listens very closely. After they pass the vibe check aka meow radar, he befriends them, too.

Yoongi doodles Grammy trophies everywhere to manifest them.

Yoongi shaves his legs.

All the sex toys he’s ever bought are black. Gotta vibe in style.

He spends ridiculous amounts of time in the studio but he's yours for the remainder of the night, breakfast, and he makes a lavish lunch and dinner.

Um, consider his head parked between your legs. The Hongkong line was not a joke.

Doesn’t mind you squishing his cheeks whenever and for how long you like.

Every other weekend he gets flowers, vouchers, and gifts — not because of fans, they don’t know where his house is, but because he donates so much.

Namjoon often drops by and cleanses the area with his crystals.

Yoongi is a photography major so you can ask him to take professional, ceiling-high black and white shots of you.

Feeding each other food lovingly. Man, this guy got lips.

He set up a library just for you, in the exact historical aesthetic you like the most. Send him the link to any book you want, it's basically in the online shopping cart already. As I said, he wants to make you presents like every week.

Sometimes he sits on the other end studying English videos and vocab while you read. And yes, he's already 95% fluent but pretends being merely intermediate. He knows technical terms even native speakers have never heard of.

He collects pajamas and earrings.

Swears on the phone.

Namjoon being the horniest member is a cover-up story. Yoongi masturbates almost unreasonable amounts of times, by himself and in your arms when going to bed. Not gonna lie, it’s a sight to see his hands at work. He’s almost equally obsessed with fingering you once you ask him.

Yoongi was the one asking you to move in and almost had a nervous meltdown before meeting up with you to tell you just that.

He’s the little spoon and of course a sleeping burrito to hold tight.

Finds you equally attractive in any state or styling. Yoongi practices what he preaches, he always reacts the same and says the same.

Jams out to outrageous beats Namjoon sends him by dancing in the studio. You walk in on him every time. Was embarrassed at first, now you dance along.

Has bought you a life-sized Yoongi pillow and customized you a giant Shooky to hug when he’s not at home over night.

Owned a wine cellar until he quit drinking. Turned it into a piano room instead.

Only you know Yoongi has a serpent and dagger tattoo.

Scrubs the bathroom religiously.

The house smells like restaurant food and his extravagant perfumes half of the time.

Sometimes he has to remind himself he’s married to you and not his coffee machine. He shall be forgiven. You can’t complain that he doesn’t love you enough, nor is he ever not adorable when drinking his latte.

Never wears short sleeves. It can be scorching and he’ll wear a jacket.

Tell him and the cap stays on during sex.

He grows his hair out and puts it in a low bun. The bangs remain.

Yoongi has installed the most fire-proof building in the entire city it seems. That he wanted to be a firefighter when he was young definitely shows. Figures the house has to be protected from heat: His blasting studio music and Yoongi himself are just way too sizzling.

Still melts into a puddle when you kiss his nose.

Couple sunrise watching.

#yoongi #yoongi hc #yoongi x reader #bts #bts x reader #bts hc #yoongi scenario

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nejibaby · 3 years

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Small Details

Pairings: Neji x Y/N

Summary: Neji was a man of few words, even more so with you, and when he sees you with Naruto in a compromising position, he has troubles expressing himself.

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: And I finally managed to finish this! It took me so long! Today, I offer you a flustered Neji... 👀 I hope y’all enjoy it because I may or may not have melted after writing this 😚

✨Photo taken from this post by @yul-is-sparkling ✨

Naruto was finally back after two years of training with Jiraiya. Being one of his closest friends, you were excited to meet him and to see for yourself how much he’s grown.

Naturally, you challenged him to a duel the first time you saw him again. It was kind of your thing with Naruto — competing with each other on who’s faster, stronger, better in ninjutsu, anything really. Mainly because Sasuke, who he often referred to as his rival, would rarely indulge him with such things, and you did. You were both competitive like that.

In no time, you were both alone on the training grounds. You could already tell how drastic his improvements were within the start of the battle.

You were in awe at how the Legendary Sannins could bring out the best in their apprentices. But despite not being trained by them, that didn’t mean you were lagging behind.

In those two years when Sasuke seeked Orochimaru for power, Naruto trained under Jiraiya, and Sakura learned from Tsunade, you were the only one in Team 7 who remained under the supervision of Kakashi sensei.

Kakashi sensei may not be a Legendary Sannin, but he was a formidable shinobi — one of the best during his generation even. However, truthfully, he infuriated you at first, not because of how late he always was — you were pretty used to it to the point that you don’t question him anymore about his whereabouts and he stopped coming up with excuses as to why he was late — but because there were times when he was too laidback.

Sure, there were moments when he was hands-on: teaching you different jutsus, lecturing you about certain concepts, informing you on what you should always look out for, drilling your body past exhaustion, and the like. But more often than not he would be saying something like, “Find it out yourself” or “I can’t exactly tell you how” as he leisurely sits on a tree branch while reading the stupid Icha Icha books.

You were dumbfounded and furious at first but when your initial annoyance subsided and you had adjusted to his teaching style, you flourished.

That’s why you could take on Naruto even after his training with Jiraiya.

What started as a serious duel between you and Naruto was reduced to playful banter the longer the fight dragged on. At one point, both of you would just tease each other while throwing kicks and punches halfheartedly.

Both of you had your guards down. That was a mistake on your part, because just as Naruto aimed to kick your face and you bent over backwards to dodge it, you slipped. You lost your footing all because of a rock situated near your right foot.

It was a rookie mistake.

Naruto was quick to notice that you were falling so he immediately grabbed ahold of your hand. The problem was he failed to pull you back up. So you ended up falling down with him. And somehow, he ended up with his arms on the sides of your head so he wouldn’t crush you as you were underneath him.

You were both shocked. You were just blinking at each other. It took awhile for the two of you to gather your bearings. When you did, you both immediately laughed out loud. Naruto moved his body so he was lying next to you as you both continued laughing your hearts out.

“What the hell was that, Naruto?!” You feigned exasperation. “You wouldn’t be able to save a fly if you tried.”

“At least I wasn’t the one making rookie mistakes like that,” Naruto shot back. “Plus I tried to help, that’s what matters.”

You snorted. “Yeah, right. You could’ve at least focused your chakra on your soles so we didn’t fall!”

“And you could’ve paid attention to your surroundings, Y/N!”

You bickered with each other as you stood up and helped Naruto get up. What the two of you didn’t know was that your boyfriend Neji had watched the whole incident.

Neji wasn’t really the type to get jealous. He’s a very understanding boyfriend. He’s aware that you and Naruto have been best friends even before he met you. He even knew about Naruto’s feelings for Sakura. However, any sane person wouldn’t want to see his significant other beneath someone else, right? Granted, it was an accident, but still… It was such a compromising position to find you in.

He made his appearance as you playfully punched Naruto in the gut.

You instantly noticed him approaching. Your smile widened even more at the sight of your boyfriend. “Neji!” You called, skipping your way towards him. You would’ve tackled him in a hug if Naruto wasn’t around.

He maintained his stoic expression as he greeted, “Y/N. Naruto.”

“Oi Neji, it’s been a while,” Naruto waved.

Neji only gave a curt nod in response.

You asked, “What are you doing here, Neji?” but just as you ended your question, the answer immediately clicked on your mind. “Oh my god, I’m sorry I forgot!”

Over your excitement of Naruto’s arrival, you forgot that it was a Tuesday. Tuesdays were your lunch dates and sparring sessions with Neji.

“It’s okay.”

“Hold on.” you told him and then faced Naruto. “Gotta go, Naruto! Bye!” you said as you grabbed Neji’s hand out of habit.

Neji flushed, not exactly expecting your action, but you didn’t notice because it was something that you’re used to doing, although not in the presence of someone else.

“See you later!” Naruto waved.

When Naruto was out of sight, you dropped Neji’s hand unconsciously. “Sorry, I forgot about lunch. What time is it? Have you eaten?” You asked Neji.

He quickly responded and told you he hasn’t eaten anything yet.

“Well then, let’s go. I’m starving.”

Neji and you walked side by side out of the training grounds.

“So…” you started saying.

Neji stared at you. “Hm?”

“How was your day, baby?”

He cleared his throat and looked away almost instantly. Very rarely would one find Neji flustered, but calling him “baby” always worked. He wasn’t quite used to the endearment and every time you addressed him as such with tenderness laced in your voice, he would blush. You use it all the time just to see his cheeks tinted pink. It was a cute sight.

“What’s wrong?” You playfully asked while trying to get into his line of vision.

He refused to meet your gaze until he regained his composure. When he did, he told you — in an impassive manner — what he had done in the morning before he went out looking for you.

Despite his expressionless face and his rather hushed tone, you listened intently to the words he was saying, the smile on your lips never leaving your face. Neji was a man of few words even until now that you were together so you made sure you paid attention every time he spoke, not wanting his words to go to waste.

He wouldn’t admit it to you but he loved that about you. You would remember even the little details of his stories, which in itself was a big deal considering you tend to forget a lot of things. You treasured his words, sentences, thoughts, ideas and plans, and kept them enclosed in your memory.

Neji loved that you focused on him. You made him feel like he was important and worthy, and that he mattered, in a completely different way than the others’ view of him.

The others only saw him as important because he was an asset both to the Hyuga clan and to Konoha. He only mattered to them because he has the strength and ability to protect them.

But you didn’t see him that way. You saw him as his own person — a man with a brilliant mind, a great moral compass, and a heart of gold. This was further confirmed when you told him that if his circumstances were different — if he was not a Hyuga or even a shinobi — you’d still fall in love with him as long as his character remained the same.

He knew you love him, there was no doubt about that. It was known; it was an irrefutable truth, an indisputable fact. But why did seeing you with Naruto trigger his insecurities that you had previously put to rest?

His mind was reeling, but he tried his hardest to be in the moment with you.

The thing was, he might have misread you a little. Because the attention that you gave him wasn’t solely focused on his words. In actuality, it extended to his actions and mannerisms as well.

This was how you knew that there was something that was bothering Neji today.

Unwelcome thoughts swarmed his mind, leading him to absentmindedly reach out to you. He was walking beside you closer than usual, with his hand on your lower back. While there was no doubt that he was listening to you when it was your turn to tell him about your day with Naruto, he had a faraway, vacant look on his face.

You may have missed the presence of a rock a while ago, but you certainly wouldn’t miss these small details about Neji.

These might come across as something normal for other people, but for someone like you who dedicated a lot of time admiring and memorizing every little detail of the certain Hyuga boy, it was easy to tell that something was on his mind from the way he was taking up a portion of your personal space. Almost as if his own restrictions were non-existent.

Normally, it would’ve been easier to confront him about it, but you were a shinobi, and if there’s something you learned from Kakashi sensei, it was that you have to gather more intel before actually making a move.

But you could only think of one way to confirm if there was something bothering your partner, and it was through his hair.

On regular days, Neji wouldn’t allow anyone to touch his hair, including you. But when there was something that was bothering him, or if he had a particularly rough day, he wouldn’t mind it if you threaded your fingers through his hair. In fact, he wouldn’t admit it, but he preferred it if you did that. It was something that calmed him down.

So while you continued telling him how your day went, you subtly angled your body towards him. Then you tentatively reached for the tips of his hair with your hand that was closest to him. You managed to grab a few strands of his hair between your thumb and index finger. You twisted them between your fingers.

You looked up to him to check if he was bothered by it, but it seemed like he didn’t mind at all. This certainly meant that his mind was elsewhere, despite the fact that he was nodding in the right parts of your speech and even correcting you when you used the wrong word to describe something.

You retracted your hand after coming up with your conclusion. You even stopped talking as you were thinking of what could’ve happened for him to be this distracted. Neji didn’t even notice you stopped talking mid sentence.

Somehow this just felt different from the times he was frustrated or anxious before, and quite frankly, you were worried.

By the time you had both placed orders and seated in a random restaurant, you decided to confront your partner. “So, Neji, baby, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

He choked on nothing after hearing your question. Was he really that easy to read? Or was it easy just because it was you reading him?

He cleared his throat and feigned ignorance, “What are y-you talking about?”

You opted to give him a pointed look instead of a verbal response.

He didn’t stare back, looking anywhere but you. Most times, Neji would face you head on until you conceded; with you, he was comfortable being stubborn and unyielding because it came without repercussions. But today, he wasn’t up for the challenge. And if you looked more closely, he was once again sporting a faint color on his cheeks.

You waited a moment for him to answer, or at least to look back, but it was to no avail. With a sigh, you said, with the softest tone you could muster partnered with a reassuring smile, “Would you let me know when you’re ready, at least?”

Surprisingly, Neji looked at you then. “It’s nothing… It’s just… something silly.”

You gently grabbed a hold of his hand. “Don’t tell me it’s silly, I know it isn’t if it bothers you, baby. You don’t have to tell me now if you aren’t comfortable yet, hmm? Just know I’ll be here to listen to you.” You gave him a genuine smile and a small squeeze to his hand before letting go.

Neji’s eyes hadn’t strayed from then onwards. He had to admit sometimes he would forget how incredibly kindhearted you were, even more so when it came to him. You always made sure he was comfortable. You never forced him into doing or saying things that he wasn’t ready to do or say. You allowed him to make his own decisions and respected them, something that rarely came from being a subordinate of Konoha and a member of the branch family of the Hyuga clan.

Life as a shinobi was sometimes constricting, but you were his breather from all that.

It was your turn to be bashful from his stare. You could feel your face warming up from the unexpected, scrutinizing gaze. “Neji, stop it.”

“What?”

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Stop being beautiful, then.”

The words that came out of Neji’s lips startled you. It wasn’t everyday he would actually use words to tell you you’re beautiful. The way he expressed his appreciation to your beauty would come in the form of fluttering kisses or gentle brushes on your body parts — coincidentally, or not, on parts where you feel the most insecure about.

Fortunately for you, the food came at the right moment, since you weren’t exactly sure how to respond to his unexpected compliment. You both ate in silence then, occasionally peeking at each other — almost like how it was when you first started dating each other.

When you were done with lunch, you expected to take the route towards the training grounds like you both usually did, but Neji’s hand has taken solace on your back once again and this time with intent to guide you to a different direction.

You were confused but you followed anyway. “Where are we going?”

“To my place.” A pause. “Is that fine with you?”

“Sure” was all you could say. Admittedly, you were quite tired from the duel you had with Naruto earlier and you didn’t really have enough energy to spar with Neji, considering he never went easy on you.

By the time you had entered his place, he graciously offered his couch to you, as if sensing your exhaustion. You immediately plopped down on his couch after setting aside your footwear by his front door.

“Tired?”

“Very,” you mumbled.

He handed you a glass of water, knowing you weren’t quite fond of tea. He sat down beside you just as you thanked him and sipped on your drink.

Setting aside the glass, you leaned back on the couch, only to be welcomed by Neji’s arms. A small smile automatically crept into your lips from the gesture. You snuggled into him as a reflex.

It was moments like this with Neji that you treasured most. While you enjoyed tagging around with him and the rest of Team Guy on missions, you preferred spending time with him peacefully like this, without the imminent threat of danger looming over your heads. It was rather a rare occurrence, after all, for two shinobis like you both were.

Neji was first to break the comfortable silence. “I saw you with Naruto a while ago.”

“You did? When?” You excitedly asked while trying to pull away from his embrace to look directly to his face. But for some reason, he kept you in place, your cheek pressed to his neck. “Did you see me kick his ass? Like literally.”

“Yes,” he answered flatly. It was a response that sounded so… dry. Usually when you both talked about Naruto, there would be a fondness from his tone. “But… I also saw something else…” he trailed off.

You raked your mind, trying to remember what had happened earlier. Then the memory of falling down flashed on your mind, and suddenly you felt embarrassed for Neji having to witness such a mistake. “Oh no!” You jumped out of his grasp, startling him in the process. “You saw me fall down! That’s so embarrassing!” You covered your face with your palms.

“Well, yes… but—”

You snapped your head at the tone he used. He didn’t sound like he was going to tease you for your mistake, in fact, it kind of sounded like he was worried.

“I’m fine though, if you’re worried,” you offered, assuming he thought you got hurt from the fall.

“I’m glad you are not hurt,” he said. Not long after you noticed him visibly gulping.

You could tell there was something else in his mind, and whatever it was, you had a feeling it might’ve been the thing that was bothering him a while ago. You tried to come up with guesses as to what it could’ve been. As you recalled how the conversation started and considered how he was acting, a plausible answer popped into your mind.

“Are you perhaps… jealous?” You hesitantly asked. He was the first one to initiate this conversation so you were assuming he was ready to talk about it. Despite that though, you didn’t want to force him to talk so you carefully and reluctantly asked him. He was always allowed to drop the topic if he wasn’t comfortable and he knew that.

Neji cleared his throat as soon as the words left your mouth all the while avoiding to meet your eyes once again. “Maybe,” he almost inaudibly said.

You were surprised by his answer. It wasn’t always that Neji got jealous. The only time he was was when a stranger was blatantly hitting on you in front of him while you were on a mission together.

“It did not sit right with me seeing you in an… inappropriate position with someone else.” He explained. The tone he used sounded like the one he used with the Hokage when he was taking responsibility for something that went horribly wrong on a mission.

“Don’t make it sound like it’s wrong,” you said softly as you cupped his face. “You don’t have to feel guilty about feeling jealous. Your feelings are valid.”

The gentleness and warmth in your voice made his heart flutter. If this was a conversation with someone else, he was sure he was going to get teased for feeling this way, but it was with you, and you had always been different.

“I love you, Neji,” you said before you kissed his lips.

It was amazing how the three words you used that preceded his name could easily wipe out the jealousy that had brewed inside him. This was another testament of how well you knew Neji — not only did you know the small details about him, but you also know the right words to ease his worries.

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a-lil-perspective · 3 years

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70 Encouragements/Tips For The Writer:

A/N: Rules don’t exist. These are real and personal and stem from a deteriorating, exhausted Writer who is here to tell you (and herself) that you are amazing and keep going. I hope you find some encouragement within.

Your mental health comes first and foremost.

Indulge and embrace your creative writing pieces when they come (and when they don’t). Especially when they don’t.

Suffering from Writer’s Block or fluctuating hyperfixation? Me too. So is your favorite author. Welcome to the Writer’s Block Party (all my uwus if you see the pun).

Did you spend five hours on this one segment, forget the last time you ate, develop chapped lips, dry eyes, and a stiff back (time to get up and move), bang your head on the wall, laugh, cry, fidget, take your ADHD meds, deviate to watch YouTube, have an epiphany, curse in frustration and wonder why the hell you do this to yourself? Congratulations, you’re a Writer.

Embrace all the not-so-glamorous sides of writing, and accept the fact they’re going to happen time over again.

When you say “just one more line” and it’s 2:00 AM, I’ll be here to remind you to “go to sleep” (because I’m also depriving myself lol).

Actually, sleeping helps your mind feel refreshed, and it’s good for your health. If you’re struggling with a particular segment, one of the best things you can do is just put a cap on it for the time being, put in a placeholder, and get some shut eye. I know you don’t want to. But you will feel so much better and have more clarity and energy to continue when you wake. Trust me.

More often than not, those words you “just didn’t write down fast enough and now forgot” end up revealing themselves to you later in a much more profound way. Give the words time to get ready. They’re just spiffing up before coming to visit. :)

Be proud of yourself and your prose. Writing is an amazing part of who you are.

That trope has been written 1000 times before? Make it 1001.

You’ve already written this scenario? Write it again.

You’ve just written a single sentence. Now sit back for moment and think: you just wrote something brand new, never before seen. Nobody out there will ever write that sentence or formulate those thoughts the exact same way. You are a unique, mind-blowing, awe-inspiring human being.

Bask in the excitement that comes with a completed piece. Reflect on what you learned throughout and celebrate the little victories.

Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback, but also understand that you might not always get it, and that is OK.

Please re-read your work. Be gentle with yourself. You had to write that very first piece to get to where you are now. Love the process.

Your personal writing success is not based off of kudos or likes or reblogs.

There is no right or wrong way to write.

There is no such thing as “good” writing.

Improvement is becoming of everyone so get comfy, strap in. The journey of a Writer is a lifelong one. Here’s to many more works ahead.

Don’t mourn the words you did or didn’t write. Celebrate the ones you will.

One day, you’ll read a piece that will blow you away—and it will be yours.

There is nothing “shameful” about reblogging your own writing works.

I promise you’ll find your “wow” piece—either in something you’ve already written, or something yet to come.

Baby. Please don’t write out of spite. You’re better than that.

You are just as valid/deserving as the next Writer. And you do belong.

If you feel sad/unworthy when sharing your works or interacting with others’, get to the root of why. Writing should be fun, rewarding, and relaxing. Not shameful, embarrassing, or a chore.

Writing (fanfiction, specifically) is labeled as “transformative works”. Self-explanatory, right? However, if you notice the transformative part begin to have a personal effect on you—a negative one—it’s time to take a step back.

Right now, I can name a single quality you possess: diligence. How do I know? Because you’re a Writer, and the two go hand-in-hand.

Got that single scene in your head but you haven’t completed or even began all the chapters preceding? Bruh. Jot that down right now. You don’t need 20k words beforehand.

Embrace your writing mood swings. The stray, sweet and condensed blurbie. The ideal, bridging drabble. The solid, substantial oneshot. The hefty, elaborate 10k word chapter. Appreciate everything in-between, and that you are capable of all of it.

Nobody remembers that extra word or typo or stray speech mark back all the way back in chapter 3. Tell the little monster in your head to go to hell.

You’re not a weirdo for making facial expressions and mulling through your dialogue aloud. You. Are. A. Writer.

It’s OK if the Readers can’t always see exactly what you envisioned in your head, or the full extent of the picture you painted. We all see colors differently.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your writing.

In fact, challenge yourself to dabble into a new plot/trope/concept every day, even if only for a few minutes. You may discover you love writing it.

There’s no rush to finish/begin any written work. If you take your time, you will make your mark. You’re not falling behind or running late. Slow down and wait for it. :)

Three cheers for hiatus.

Listen to your body and mind, know your limits and when it’s time to take a break.

Actually take a break. :)

If you feel like you’re falling stagnant in creativity, looking to/revisiting other forms of creative media can help encourage the flow.

Ask for encouragement, and be at peace with asking.

Take shelter in fellow writers. Uplift each other always.

You are/will be someone’s favorite author. :)

You don’t have anything to prove. You have something to share.

Someone is thinking about your work right now.

Someone started a series because they drew inspiration from you.

Personal writing style can reflect a lot on the state of one’s mental health. Try to always be attentive to that of your own.

Self-validation must be cultivated early on or nothing will ever work.

Freestyle every once in a while. Write a snippet, timed, and go—without editing. Write the first thing that comes to mind and go from there. Do it all the way through the set time. When it stops, you’ll find yourself unable to. 3,800 words here we come. :)

Not everything needs an outline. :)

It is completely normal to write your story out of order.

Create guidelines for yourself. If they aren’t working, toss ‘em.

Word vomiting can help you feel better (it’s just how it sounds). By clearing all those jumbled thoughts and scattered concepts, you achieve a clearer objective. Try it sometime.

A rough draft is supposed to be rough.

Sometimes the words come to you quicker than others. Be patient. That is merely the construct of a Writer’s mind. You’re a beautiful enigma.

A sentence written is a story progressing.

Writing is an endurance sport. You must pace yourself and exercise it daily.

You are still a Writer even when the words aren’t on the actual page.

You’re not obligated to a writing/posting schedule.

As you progress in your journey and gain more awareness, don’t sacrifice your style. Those beginning works are what define you. Hold onto them and don’t ever let them go.

You’re the only one cringing—

Remember that sometimes words are elusive and you don’t always have control over them, and that is OK. Sometimes they write themselves. Sometimes your characters come to life and break out into dance across your page. Dance with them. You can wrangle them back when the music stops. :)

There is nothing condemning or embarrassing about asking for a beta. Allow someone to help carry the load.

Allow people to cheer you on—even if they don’t read your work.

It’s OK if your writing style isn’t someone else’s preference.

Be your biggest cheerleader. Sometimes you are all you have.

You don’t need anyone’s approval except your own.

You love that trope/concept/story you just wrote? That’s all that matters. The end.

You will never write good. You will write you. And that is good.

Above all else: remember to write for you.🤍

#writers #fanfiction writers #writing encouragement #writer appreciation #writer support #writer struggles #writing motivation #writers tips #for writers #omg am I struggling.#hope these help you beautiful people #my writing #it’s a lil thing

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part Four (Harry Styles)

a/n: happy TLABL day!! can’t believe we are already on part 4! im not sure if part 5 will be the last part, im still very much writing the rest so we’ll see! thank you so much for all the love you’ve been showing the series, i love reading your reactions! feedback is very much appreciated this time as well!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 11k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

You wake up feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck or at least consumed a whole bottle of tequila. Your head is pounding and it’s probably with all the crying and stress, so you are quick to take some pills to ease the pain. Sitting on the edge of your bed you stare ahead of you blankly, trying to gain power to start the day.

Though today is Sunday, so you are not working, you’re still worried to face Harry after whatever it was that happened last night. What were you thinking, kissing your boss out of the blue? And what was he thinking kissing you for the second time? It kind of feels like a dream, but you know it really did happen.

You try to stay in your room as long as possible, avoiding to face Harry, but soon enough you can’t postpone it any longer, because you are starving. Peeking out of your room you hear voices coming from downstairs and as you reach the stairs you recognize not just Harry’s and Izzy’s voice, but Niall’s as well.

Arriving downstairs you see Niall and Izzy sitting on the stools at the kitchen island while Harry is cleaning the dishes after their breakfast probably. He is wearing a pair of light-washed jeans and a black hoodie, the sleeves bunched around his elbows. He looks so casual and yet just looking at him makes your heart skip a beat. You are in some big trouble.

Niall spots you first and he perks up waving in your way happily.

“Good morning, Y/N!” he beams, his accent sounds so comforting in such a stressful moment, for some reason.

“Hi, good morning,” you breathe out. Harry turns around, his eyes fall on you and a shiver runs down your spine. He just looked at you and you already want to run away and hide in your room a little longer.

“Morning,” he greets you with a nod before turning back to the sink to finish the dishes.

“Daddy and Uncle Niall are taking me to the park! We are picking Yara up too!” Izzy shares the news with you excitedly.

“Oh, that sounds great!” you smile at her, giving her cheek a gentle pinch before moving to the fridge.

“Do you want to come?” she invites you and your eyes immediately flicker over to Harry who looks at you the exact same time, making your stomach drop right away.

“Um, I have some work to do, maybe some other time,” you smile at Izzy, grabbing yourself a yoghurt and a banana before shutting the fridge closed.

“So how was yesterday?” Niall asks and you freeze. Does he know what happened? Did Harry tell him about last night?

Niall sees your frightened look to which he shoots you a confused one.

“The wedding, Harry told me earlier you had a wedding yesterday.”

“Oh, it went… fine,” you nod shortly, peeking at Harry who is now staring down at his feet awkwardly. This was starting to get painfully ridiculous, the two of you dancing around each other, pretending like you weren’t down each other’s throats just a few hours prior.

“Alright, let’s leave, we need to pick Yara up in twenty,” Harry claps his hands. Izzy jumps off the stool and takes Niall’s hand as they all head out of the house. “We’ll probably have lunch somewhere and then go grocery shopping, so we’ll be away for a while,” he informs you without looking your way before leaving without even waiting for any reaction from you.

Yeah, this was straight up the most awkward conversation you’ve had in a long time.

“Here, Izzy. Play some games on my phone!” Niall passes his phone to her with a sweet smile, but Harry smacks his bicep.

“What are you doing? She has enough screen time already!”

“Yeah, but I needed her to be busy so I can ask you what the fuck was that in the house.”

Harry curls his lips into his mouth, his eyes glued to the road ahead of him as he tries to come up with a good answer, but he knows he could never fool his best friend.

“Don’t stop, even if she is busy with the phone,” Harry scolds him, glancing at Izzy through the mirror, but she doesn’t seem to be listening to them. Niall rolls his eyes, but lets his words uncommented. “Besides, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Oh, you exactly know it. You and Y/N were like scared little bunnies around each other. She looked like she was about to faint any moment when you looked at her.”

“Maybe she was just tired,” he shrugs, but Niall laughs at his weak attempt to fool him.

“Now tell me the real reason, I know something happened.”

Harry chews on his bottom lip, debating whether he should come clean or not, but he knows Niall won’t leave him until he finally tells him so he is not left with many choices.

“We kissed.”

“What?!” Niall snaps, a little louder than Harry expected, his voice makes him flinch. “Sorry, that was a little too dramatic, but what the fuck? Why were you keeping this from me?!”

“Because I knew this is how you’d react,” Harry mumbles under his breath. “And… I don’t think it will ever happen again.”

“What do you mean?”

“The whole thing was a mess,” Harry sighs. “She came home late, pretty upset because she met with her ex at the wedding.”

“The one that cheated on her?”

“Mhm. The dude was an asshole and… she was crying in the kitchen when I came down. We sat on the couch, talked, I tried to calm her down and all that and then… she kissed me.”

“Wait, she kissed you? Wow, she’s got balls!” Niall laughs.

“Yeah, but it was, like, really short and she pulled back, shocked at herself for doing it. I think it was just all the emotions that got her a little confused. But then she tried to apologize and… and I kissed her.”

“What?! Oh my God!” Niall’s mind is blown and he doesn’t even tries to hide his excitement hearing the news about last night. “Was there tongue?”

“Jesus, Niall!” Harry scowls. “I’m not sharing the details with you.”

“Okay, but was it like a solid, short kiss or you guys went right at it?”

Harry doesn’t answer, but it tells enough about the situation and Niall can’t help but whistle as he claps his hands.

“Stop acting like a horny teenager, Niall,” Harry growls rolling his eyes at his friend.

“So you guys snogged, what’s the matter with that?”

“It got awkward. We just pulled back and I think we both were pretty shocked about it and… she just stood up and said that she is going to bed. End of story. And then you were there in the morning, so… yeah.”

“Tell me why the hell we are heading to a playdate then when you should be talking to her?” Niall asks, arching an eyebrow at Harry.

“There’s not much to talk about. It just happened in the heat of the moment, that’s all,” Harry shrugs, but deep down he knows it’s a blatant lie. At least on his side.

Unlike you, who fell asleep right away, Harry spent about an hour lying in his bed wide awake, not able to think about anything else but your lips on his. He replayed the whole thing in his head about a million times, he was starting to feel ashamed of it, but he just couldn’t stop.

Your abrupt leaving left him puzzled and he thought long and hard about why you felt the need to run away. The only thing that made sense to him is that you regretted it the moment it happened, that it really did just happen in the heat of the moment so Harry thought it’s best to act like it didn’t even happen.

“Please don’t be an ass and just… talk to her. We both know we can never know for sure what a woman thinks about. You can’t just assume and think that your assumption is one hundred percent right.”

“I find it funny that you’re such an expert in this stuff, but you haven’t had a stable relationship since like, we finished college,” Harry scoffs as he takes the corner and starts driving down the street to Yara’s moms’ house.

“Me not having a relationship doesn’t mean that I’m not good at them. It’s a choice,” Niall smirks.

“Yeah, whatever.”

“But back to the topic, you wanted to kiss her, right?”

“I mean, yeah? It kinda threw me off as well, but it was… nice.”

“Please don’t refer to a kiss as nice again,” Niall gags, but Harry just chuckles at him. “A kiss is hot, passionate, pant tighteni—“

“Okay, that’s enough!” Harry cuts him, earning a cackle from him.

“Just talk to her, don’t be a pussy.”

“I really do need better friends,” Harry mumbles under his breath as he pulls up to the driveway.

You really didn’t feel like staying home alone in that big ass house so you invited yourself over for an early dinner to your mom’s. You haven’t been over since the little fiasco with Trevor so you thought it might be a good idea to spend some time with them. Trevor said they’ve been trying to keep the fighting down to the minimum and not let it turn into a screaming match, so your speech worked after all.

It’s past three o’clock when you leave, no sign of Harry or Izzy and you feel like they won’t be back for a while either, so you lock everything up and head out.

You have a genuinely good time. It’s obvious that your mom feels guilty about her past behavior and is trying to lure you into forgiving her, though you already did that. But you’re happy your little speech worked. At least Trevor can have his peace now.

After dinner your mom disappears in her room and then returns with a nicely wrapped box and you sigh, rolling your eyes.

“Mom, I told you I don’t need gifts.” You give her a look. Your birthday is coming up next week, but you were never the kind to celebrate. You never felt comfortable with all the attention and fuss birthdays come with, so you’ve always liked to keep it down. These past years you didn’t even ask for anything, though your parents never listened and this year doesn’t seem like an exception either.

“Oh hush. You can’t expect me not to celebrate my baby!” she shakes her head, sitting back to the dining table. “And besides, I didn’t pay a dollar for it,” she then adds and now you’re curious what she got you.

Removing the lid of the box you peek inside and your lips immediately part as you see the stack of polaroids inside.

“I know how much you like old photos and when we sold Grandma’s house back in August, I found these in my old room. I got a polaroid camera for graduation, just in time to take tons of pictures of you,” she explains with a soft chuckle as you start going through the pictures from when you were born and the next few years. Whenever you are done looking at a photo you hand it to Trevor so he can take a look at them too.

“Are you sure you don’t want to keep these, mom?” you ask glancing up at her over the stack.

“I took out a few for myself,” she admits with a sneaky smile. “You can have the rest, I know how much you love these stuff.”

“Thank you, mom,” you smile at her, hugging her from the side, feeling touched by this gift.

It’s nearing eight when you arrive back home, the lights are still up and if you had to guess you’d say that Harry is trying to tire Izzy out enough to put to bed, as usual. Walking in, your guess is proven right, the TV is on in the living room while Harry is sitting on the couch, Izzy all over him in her pink pajamas, playing around with his hair like she always does.

“Hi Y/N!” she calls out happily when she spots you.

“Hi Sunshine, did you have a good time today?” you ask with a soft smile.

“I did! And guess what!”

“What?”

“Yara invited me over for a sleepover!” she beams, clearly ecstatic about the invitation.

“That’s amazing!”

“What’s that?” she curiously asks pointing at the gift box in your hands. Harry turns to see you, his eyes falling on the box as well.

“Oh, it’s a gift I got from my mom,” you explain, stepping closer.

“Is it your birthday?” she questions, knitting her eyebrows together.

“No, not yet. But it will be next week,” you admit with a soft chuckle.

“Really? Are you having a birthday party?” she gasps, getting way too excited already. Harry eyes you without a word, holding Izzy by her hips so she is not losing her balance standing on the cushion of the couch.

“I’m not, sorry. I don’t like having birthday parties,” you pout at her apologetically.

“Oh, okay. Can I see what you got from your mom?”

“Izzy, don’t be nosy,” Harry warns her, but you just smile at the curious girl.

“Sure,” you nod, joining them on the couch. You sit on the opposite end than where Harry is, Izzy in the middle as she watches the box in awe. You set it down to the cushion and take the lid off, revealing the stack of photos.

“What are these?”

“They are called polaroids. They are old pictures, taken with a special camera that kind of prints the picture out right away,” you explain to her as she takes the first photo from the top, a picture of your mom holding you as a newborn. She was so young, practically a child herself, yet her pride was undeniable, it shone all over her face. You spot Harry looking at the picture as well over Izzy’s shoulder, still keeping his silence.

“Who are these people?”

“That’s my mom and that’s me as a baby. And… this is my dad,” you hold up another photo that features your dad.

“They really were young when they had you,” Harry speaks up for the first time, surprised by the photos.

“Yeah, they were.”

“What are you going to do with them?” Izzy questions, dropping the photo back into the box as she leans back to lie on Harry’s chest.

“Not sure yet. I might make an album from them,” you shrug. “I really like polaroids, I love that they are one of a kind.”

Izzy nods, though you’re not sure she understood what you meant by that. Fidgeting with her fingers she pushes down a yawn and Harry takes that as a good sign.

“Alright, time for bed, Love. Say good night to Y/N.” He picks her up as he stands from the couch. Izzy waves at you smiling with tired eyes.

“Night-night, Y/N,” she singsongs as Harry carries her towards the stairs.

Putting the pictures back into the box you head into your bedroom too, feeling like the time when you and Harry talk about what happened yesterday will never come. It’s pretty clear that he doesn’t want to acknowledge it, so you’ll just let it slip. It happened just in the heat of the moment, didn’t mean a thing, you better forget about it.

After a speedy shower you are getting ready to just go to bed, read some and have a relaxing evening, something you didn’t have the luck to have the day before. But right as you’re about to make yourself comfortable in bed, there’s a knock on your door.

“Hey,” you breathe out as you open it and find Harry standing in the hallway.

“I hope you weren’t sleeping already.”

“No. Come on in,” you invite him inside and he walks in. As he awkwardly stops in the middle of the room you realize he hasn’t even been in here since you’ve moved in. He takes a look around, examining what you’ve done with the room and you feel thankful you decided to put your laundry away just yesterday, so no dirty underwear is littering the floor anywhere.

“How can I help you?” you ask with a soft smile.

“I, erm… I just wanted to clear some things,” he starts, clearly feeling nervous about the conversation and that makes the two of you for sure. Nodding you let him know that you’re waiting for him to carry on. “What happened yesterday…” he starts and your breath gets caught in your throat. “You were very emotional, a lot happened and it was a very confusing moment probably for the both of us. I really like working with you, I’m very happy with the way you’ve been taking care of Izzy and I would hate to ruin it with anything.”

You can feel your stomach dropping even though you were bracing yourself for this version of the situation. It was very likely that Harry would want to keep things professional, like before, but it still makes you feel like shit.

“I’m sorry for stepping over some boundaries, but I really hope that… we can put it behind us and that we can move on.”

He is using his business tone. It’s the same tone he used with Sarah and his assistants and now he is using it to talk about the kiss that happened between the two of you.

“Sure,” you answer quietly nodding. “Moving on sounds… great,” you nod, forcing a smile to your face, but it couldn’t be more fake.

Harry nods as he runs his tongue over his lips, looking around a little awkwardly now that it’s been discussed.

“Alright, then… good night, Y/N,” he nods in your way before heading towards the door.

“Good night, Harry,” you mumble after him as he walks out and closes the door behind him.

As soon as you are on your own, you let out a shaky breath, falling to your bed, lips trembling as you try to even make out what you’re feeling. Because part of you is glad he didn’t make a fuss about it and you didn’t lose your job, that’s great news. But another part, which is vehemently bigger than the first one is upset and sad and… disappointed?

You were hoping it meant something for him, you wanted him to want it, to feel the same craving for you as you feel towards him, because you haven’t really stopped thinking about what his lips felt like against yours, what it was like when his fingers dug into your thigh, how it sent a shiver down your spine when his tongue met yours.

But this conversation just made it awfully clear that he wants nothing to do with you. And it hurts probably more than it should.

Harry doesn’t get too far from your door when he feels the all too familiar pain in his chest he has been forced to live with these past over three years. It’s like something is gripping his heart and lungs in his chest so tight, even breathing is a hard task.

Rushing into his bedroom he closes the door behind him and slides down to the floor as the tears flood from his eyes. The past twenty-four hours have been rough on him, the guilt has been growing immensely since he let himself slip and give in for his desires and eventually kiss you.

It’s not that he didn’t want it. Because he’d be lying if he said it meant nothing to him and that he hasn’t been craving it these past weeks.

But his guilt, this evil little voice in the back of his head wouldn’t let him enjoy it even the slightest.

How dare you kiss another woman after your wife? Are you insane? You don’t deserve to feel this way with anyone else. Not when you were the reason your wife ended up dead!

Heartbreaking sobs escape from his chest as he pushes himself up from the floor and heads into the bathroom. He strips out of his clothes leaving them all in a pile on the marble tiled floor before he steps into the shower and lets the hot water pour down on him, almost burning his skin, but he doesn’t change the temperature, as if he was trying to punish himself. His salty tears mix with the water as he stands still, chest heaving as his vivid memories from that night come crashing down on him all at once.

“Are you giving me the silent treatment now? Really?” Harry sighed at his wife when she failed to answer his question about the whereabouts of his sweatpants. Maggie sat on the bed with the recent maternity book she’d been reading these past days, not even paying her husband a look at his question.

“Mags, for fuck’s sake, I’m not in the mood to play this game right now,” Harry sighed in defeat. Maggie looked up at him, closed the book slowly and put it aside to the bedside table.

“So the question of expanding our family is just a game to you?” she asked calmly, but her anger and disappointment in her husband was soaking through her tone.

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“No, you are not talking about anything, because you refuse to have a fucking conversation with me!” she retorted, letting all her bottled up anger out that’d been boiling inside her.

“I already told you that I can’t think about having another baby right now. Izzy is only six, I’m in the middle of a huge project, I don’t have the capacity to think about having another baby, Maggie. I thought I made it clear, why are you still onto me then?”

“Because it’s not something we can put aside for too long! I don’t want to have another baby when I’m in my mid-thirties, but if we go with your plan, we won’t even have another one!” Maggie jumped to her feet, pacing the floor back and forth next to their bed as Harry stood with his hands on his hips, getting irritated that they were fighting over the same thing again.

“I never said we can’t have another baby, but why can’t we wait a little? When Izzy is older and more independent? Do you have any idea how hard it is to take care of a baby and a toddler? It’s a fucking nightmare!” Harry growled rolling his eyes.

“So our family is just a pain in the ass for you?” Maggie questioned, folding her arms on her chest and she was really getting on Harry’s nerves, twisting his words completely.

“That’s not what I said!” he snapped. “All I’m asking for is you to be a little patient and give me some time!”

“I don’t have time, Harry! I want it as soon as possible!”

“Why are you so fucking difficult?” Harry groaned, running his hands through his hair. “Why can’t you wait just… one year at least? Is that too much to ask?”

“And is it too much to ask to focus on your family? We are supposed to come first!” she turned it back around and Harry was not having the dirty games she was playing, putting all the blame on him when she could have been a little more understanding as well. He was feeling like his opinion was put aside and didn’t matter at all.

“You do come first, you don’t have the right to question that.” Harry pointed at Maggie, his blood practically boiling at this point.

“Then why do I feel like work is always more important to you?”

“What are you talking about? You know I’m home as much as I can, but we still need the fucking money, Maggie! Or how do you plan on paying the bills of this fucking mansion?!”

“I don’t need a mansion! I just need my family and that’s all!” she argued, but Harry rolled his eyes at her.

“Well you seem to enjoy this mansion a lot when you sit by the pool and watch movies in the fucking movie theater in your own home!” he snapped back feistily. “Stop acting like I don’t do shit for our family when I work my ass off to provide the best possible life. And all I’m asking for in return is some fucking time before we bring another baby into the picture!”

“You are so fucking unbelievable,” Maggie shook her head as she marched past him, walking away from the fight that just grinded his gears even more.

Just as Harry was about to go after her, he heard the faint crying through the baby monitor. Groaning he headed into Izzy’s room and as he took her out of her crib, he heard the front door open and shut.

“Aw, baby, I’m sorry, did we wake you up?” he cooed, hugging the crying little girl to his chest who clung onto him immediately. Even at such a young age, Izzy was already a daddy’s little girl.

Soon her cries died down to just little hiccups as Harry soothed her, patting her bum and back gently as he moved around the room. Holding Izzy in one arm he grabbed his phone with his free hand and typed a message to his wife.

Harry: Where did you go?!

Maggie: I’m going over to my sister’s. Don’t wait up, might get home late.

Harry couldn’t help but roll his eyes. She called him out for running away from the conversation, but when they were finally talking about it she just decided to disappear when it didn’t head in the direction she wanted, seeking comfort at her sister, as always.

He managed to lull Izzy back to sleep, putting her back to her crib before going back to the bedroom. As time passed by and he calmed down more and more he wished Maggie was home so they could talk about it without jumping at each other’s throat. There had to be a compromising way to solve the situation that would be fine for the both of them.

Harry: Please come home and let’s talk about it.

Maggie: So you can bite my head off again?!

Harry: Mags, please. You have to understand my point of view too!

Maggie: I understand it, but I don’t agree with it. And you don’t seem to understand mine…

Harry: I do, but there are more things to consider. Please come home, I don’t want to have this conversation over the phone!

Maggie: Okay, I’m heading home now.

Harry put his phone down to the nightstand with a long sigh, already tired from everything that happened that day and he knew this conversation would be a hard one too, but they needed to be on the same page when it came to their family.

It was late getting late and Harry grew a little more restless with each passing moment. Paisley, Maggie’s sister lived about thirty minutes away from them and it’d been forty minutes since she sent her last text. At first he figured she maybe stayed and talked for a little longer with Paisley, or stopped for some fast food which he knew she liked so much whenever she was upset, but when an entire hour passed by he was getting worried.

He kept sending her texts that didn’t even get delivered and when he tried to call it went straight to her voicemail. Harry was losing his shit so he decided to call Paisley to see if she knew anything about her.

“She hasn’t arrived home yet?” she asked, clearly surprised.

“No, and she is not answering my calls and texts. When did she leave from yours?”

“A long time ago. Almost right away when you texted her to go home.”

“Fuck,” Harry breathed out, anxiously pacing the floor as he held the phone to his ear. “Okay, can you please call your parents in case she went there for whatever reason? I’ll try her friends.”

“Yeah, sure. Let me know if you got a hold of her,” Paisley told him before they ended the call.

Harry was scrolling through his contacts, trying to decide who Maggie would go to first in this situation and just as he was about to call the first person, his phone started ringing with an unknown number.

“Hello?” he answered the call unsurely, his heart beating fast in his chest as he stood in the middle of the room.

“Mr. Harry Styles?” a male voice asked on the other end.

“Yes, it’s me. Who am I speaking to?”

“I’m Officer Field speaking. You were listed as the emergency contact for your wife, Margaret Linn Styles.”

Blood rushed out of Harry’s face faster than he could even process what was happening. He stood completely frozen, his hands were getting clammy as he started sweating as if he just ran the marathon.

“What happened?” he asked weakly, barely even finding his own voice.

“Mr. Styles, I have bad news…”

Harry makes his way down to the entertainment room, walking like a zombie, only thinking about the bottle of vodka that sits in the minibar down there. Following his skin burning shower he tried to go to bed, but his head was starting to spin from everything that’s been swirling in his mind and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop it if he didn’t numb himself somehow. Unfortunately, his only way of doing it has been drinking, nothing seemed to help him the way alcohol did and though he knew he should never solve any of his problems with drinking, he still couldn’t help himself sometimes. When the pain was growing immensely, taking over his whole body, he chose the easiest way to get rid of the guilt or at least stop himself from… feeling.

Grabbing the bottle from the mini fridge he snatches himself a glass as well, not drinking straight from the bottle at least, and plopping himself down to the couch he pours a generous glass, drinking it without any chaser.

He winces as the alcohol burns down his throat, but at least it’s a different kind of pain, that takes the focus away from the one he is feeling in his chest.

One glass chases the other and since he is not particularly used to the heavy drinking, he is more like the ‘let’s nurse this pint for an hour’ type of guy, the raw vodka kicks in pretty quickly.

But he is not the only one who can’t fall asleep tonight.

You tried everything in your power to end your misery and finally fall asleep, but your mind and body was plotting against you and made you toss and turn until you couldn’t take it any longer. Making a good cup of tea seemed like a good idea, so you headed down the kitchen.

As you round the corner after the stairs and you’re about to walk into the kitchen, you notice how the lights are on down in the entertainment room. You stop in your tracks and try to think back if anyone was there before you went upstairs, but you don’t think it was the case.

You figure since there are only two adults living in the house, it must be Harry down there and right now, facing him doesn’t sound like a good idea, so you decide to leave him be, but that’s when you hear the voice of some kind of glass breaking, followed by a heavy accented cursing and it changes your mind right away.

“Harry?” you softly call out as you walk down the stairs, not sure what to expect down there. He is crouching down, his back in your direction as he is trying to get the pieces of the broken glass up from the floor, but he is too disoriented to succeed in the task and it’s obvious that an injury is deemed to happen sooner or later.

“Harry, you’re gonna cut yourself!” you warn him, and walking over to him you pull him up from his squatting position and when he looks at you is when you realize that he is drunk out of his mind.

“Y/N, oh shit, did I—Did I wake you up?” he slurs, knitting his eyebrows together as he tries to focus his vision on you.

“You didn’t, but let me just—Why don’t you sit down for a moment while I clean this up, huh?” you suggest, pulling him towards the couch, making him sit. He falls to the cushion like dead weight, letting out a tired sigh while you rush to get a broom and a dustpan to get rid of the broken glass on the floor as fast as possible before someone cuts themselves.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he breathes out closing his eyes.

“It’s okay. I’ll just clean it up quickly,” you assure him, getting down to business.

“Not about the g-glass. Well, about that as well…”

“Then why are you sorry?” you ask, as you sweep the shards onto the dustpan and throw them into the closest trashcan.

“About being… a pain in the ass,” he hiccups.

“You are not a pain in the ass,” you chuckle softly as you sit beside him.

“I am. I fucked things up,” he nods with a painful expression all over his handsome face.

“What do you mean?” You know you shouldn’t make him talk in this state, but you can’t help your curiosity. It seems like drunkenness makes his tongue run wild and you are desperate for the tiniest crumble of information about what’s going on in his head.

“I just… I kissed you,” he breathes out, his eyes popping open, but he is staring at the ceiling, not you.

“And?” you ask, trying to act cool, though your pulse is rapidly increasing.

“And I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Oh.” You lick your lips and try not to show how much that hurt. But even drunk, Harry notices the disappointment in your tone. His glassy eyes snap over to you and his face falls right away.

“That’s not how I mean it!” he gasps, reaching for your hand and you’re surprised by the sudden physical touch, but it feels kind of nice, so you let him hold your hand between his arm palms. “It’s not like I didn’t enjoy it, because fucking hell, it was amazing!” he bluntly tells you and you can already feel the heat crawling up your neck.

“Really?”

“Yes!”

“Then why did you tell me all of that in my room just earlier now?”

Harry pulls his hands back and moves his arms across his face, covering his eyes as he slides down the couch, his legs spreading out in front of him. He lets out a shaky whimper and seeing him like this worries you a lot. Harry is always in control, he has never let him fall apart like this before.

“Because… I don’t deserve to feel this way,” he confesses, confusing you even more. What is he talking about?

“Why wouldn’t you?”

He shakes his head under his arms, biting into his bottom lip as he inhales deeply, like he is trying to keep something inside, something you shouldn’t know about, but now you are desperate to find it out.

“I’m a fucking mess,” he breathes out, letting his arms fall to his sides, but he keeps his eyes closed, shutting you out in a way. “I don’t deserve to have these feelings,” he repeats again and it appears he is more likely talking to himself, rather than to you.

“Harry, what are you talking about?”

“I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you, because if I did, you’d never be able to look at me again.”

Now he is crying. Tears are rolling down his cheeks and his lips are trembling and you’ve never seen him in such a vulnerable state and quite frankly, it scares you. You knew him to be a strong and stable man, but now he resembles a frightened little boy, so lost in this big world.

“I’m pretty sure it’s not that bad, Harry.”

“It is,” he winces, as if it’s causing him physical pain to even talk about it.

“Harry…” You breathe out and moving closer you place a hand on his knee, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. He turns to face you, his eyes all watered and glistening, he looks so heartbroken, it almost pains you as well.

“Promise me you won’t see me as a monster,” he whispers.

“I-I promise,” you nod, already bearing yourself for the worst, judging from the look on his face.

Taking a deep breath he looks around, as if he is making sure no one else is listening. Then his eyes fall down to his hands in his lap, he fidgets with his fingers, his tongue running along his pink lips before he takes a deep breath and speaks up again.

“Maggie’s death… It was all my fault. I fucking… killed my own wife.”

His voice dies down at the end of the sentence, staring into the void, completely zoned out as you sit beside him, shocked at his words. This was not exactly what you were expecting him to say. Harry starts sobbing again, the hot tears running down his cheeks as he starts crying and panic sets in you. He is so out of his own world, you have no idea what’s happening to him. Rushing over to the mini fridge, you grab a water for him, thinking it might help him at least after all the alcohol he has consumed.

“Here, drink some water,” you softly tell him, taking the cap off as you hand him the bottle. He takes it with a shaky hand and raising it to his trembling lips he takes a few small sips. “Harry, what do you mean it was your fault?” you ask, knowing well you probably shouldn’t push it, but you can’t just ignore what he said.

“Exactly what I said,” he sobs shaking his head vigorously. “It was all my fault, I was a fucking coward and that’s why she died! I could have stopped her! I should have gone after her!”

He is not answering you, not entirely. He is speaking thoughts that have been planted in his head a long time ago and they seem to be on repeat whenever he is feeling down. As much as you want to get more details out of him, he needs to rest, especially because he is working in the morning.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed, H,” you tell him as you stand up and reach out for him to help him to his unsteady feet. It turns out to be a little harder than you expected, but you manage to get him up from his sitting position, and throwing one of his arms over your shoulders you start to walk him up towards his bedroom.

“You fucking hate me now, don’t you?” he slurs, his other hand reaching out towards the wall to steady himself a little more.

“I don’t hate you, Harry.”

“But you think I’m a monster, right?”

“I’m not sure I know enough to think anything about you. This is a conversation we should have when you’re sober,” you suggest and he huffs.

“M’sorry for getting drunk in the middle of the night.”

“It’s alright. But I think you’ll have a mean headache in the morning,” you tease him as you finally reach the upstairs and head down the hallway towards his room.

“You’re a fucking angel, Y/N. You know that?” He just keeps talking and talking and you find it funny how different he is from his reserved and quiet self in this state.

“Am I?”

“Yeah. You are. You are so good to my daughter and to me as well… I really don’t get why your fucker ex cheated on you,” he huffs and you can’t help the smile that tugs on your lips. “What was his name? Kyle?”

“Keith,” you correct him.

“That fucker, Keith!” he spats making you laugh as you push his bedroom’s door open and walk him inside finally. “I bet he had a small dick.”

“Why does that matter,” you chuckle, making him sit on the edge of the bed.

“Because guys with small dicks are always out of touch with themselves. They think they are just better than everyone for some reason.”

“Do you have any scientific research to prove that?” you tease him as you push him down, tugging him under the covers, like a little kid.

“No, I just… know shit,” he sighs, his eyes falling closed the moment his head rests on the pillow.

“Alright. You can tell me more about what else you know when you’re sober. Now get some sleep, because you have work in the morning.”

You make sure he lies on his side as he hums his response. Reaching down you brush his messy curls out of his forehead as he breathes out harshly through his nose, probably about to fall asleep any moment.

Tapping on the screen of his phone on the nightstand you make sure that he has set up his alarm and you see the little alarm clock icon at the top bar so you are just about to walk out when you turn back around.

Seeing how he pushed so many things down inside of him, you’re not convinced he’ll be willing to give you the answers you are looking for. You’re afraid he might talk himself out and give you some kind of bullshit answer, so reaching for his phone you sneakily take his thumb and open the device, all whilst he doesn’t even move an inch.

Scrolling through his contacts you find Niall’s number and send it over to yourself before deleting the message so you leave no trail behind. You set the phone back to his nightstand and head out finally, going to bed as well, right after sending Niall a quick message.

Y/N: Hi! It’s Y/N, I got your number from Harry’s phone. Can you come by sometime tomorrow? I need to talk to you about something.

When you come down in the morning it’s pretty obvious that even though Harry had his alarm on, he snoozed one too many times and now he is in a rush, trying to get everything done and leave on time.

“Good morning,” you greet him and Izzy upon walking into the kitchen. Harry’s head snaps up from the half-made breakfast in front of him and judging by his expression, he more or less remembers what happened last night. “Rough morning?” you ask teasing him to ease the tension.

“Uh, yeah. Woke up a little late,” he nods, finishing up Izzy’s sandwich just the way she likes, without the crust on before handing it over to her. Izzy grabs the plate and marches over to the dining table, quietly munching on her food while Harry quickly tries to make himself a coffee, but he is a hot mess, still in his night clothes when he is supposed to leave in about ten minutes.

“I’ll make you the coffee, go and get changed,” you offer, taking over the machine.

“Oh, thank you,” he nods and for a change, he doesn’t try to argue with you, he just disappears upstairs.

You make his coffee just as he likes and leave it on the counter for him before joining Izzy at the table with your own breakfast. She is babbling about how excited she is for her piano lesson today, because she’s been practicing a lot lately. When Harry appears again he is dressed for work, but still looks a little disoriented.

“Hey,” you softly say as you join him in the kitchen.

“Hey, thank you for the coffee,” he nods, moving around the kitchen.

“No problem. How are you feeling?” you ask, hoping you’re not crossing any boundaries. Harry opens his mouth to answer, but then closes, probably not sure how much he should share, though he didn’t have too much problem with that last night.

“I’m… A little hangover, but I’m… fine,” he nods shortly. “Y/N, about last night, I—“

“We can talk about it later, okay? Don’t stress about it.” You give him a reassuring smile and you can tell he is sort of relieved he doesn’t have to have this conversation right in this moment.

“Thank you.”

“No worries. And I’ll clean up in the kitchen, don’t be late,” you smile at him warmly. You can tell he wants to protest, but he also knows he is running late so he doesn’t have much choice.

“Thank you, I’ll… see you later.”

Storming over to Izzy he presses a kiss to her forehead before grabbing all his stuff and leaving.

Niall texts you back not long after breakfast that he is free to drop by when Izzy is having her piano lesson. You carry on with the morning as usual, trying your best not to dwell on everything that happened last night.

Just as Rosaline and Izzy get settled for the lesson you hear a car pulling up outside and a few moments later the doorbell rings through the house.

“Let’s get one thing straight, is it a booty call?” Niall questions right away as you let him inside.

“It’s good to see you again,” you chuckle, shaking your head at him.

“So no sex is gonna be involved?” he smirks and you know he is just teasing you.

“No, sorry to disappoint.”

“Oh, you can never disappoint me, darling,” he winks at you before walking into the kitchen to serve himself a drink. “So why did you need to see me so desperately?”

“Well, I know I shouldn’t be discussing this with you first, but I feel like I need to know some basic information that Harry might not give me so I thought you could help me out.” Niall nods as he pours himself some soda and joins you at the kitchen island, sitting on the stool next to you. “I uhh—I need to ask how much Harry shared with you about… about me—and, um what—“

“Save the stuttering, I know you two kissed,” Niall cuts you off and you breathe out in relief that you don’t have to be the one breaking him the news.

“Oh, okay,” you nod with an awkward smile. “Yeah, so that happened. And last night he and I had this conversation how we should just keep our relationship professional and all that. We both went our own way but then later I found Harry down in the entertainment room, drunk and basically having a meltdown of some sort.”

“How drunk was he?” Niall asks, knitting his eyebrows together.

“Pretty drunk. He broke a glass and he was… crying and talking about a lot of stuff.” Niall takes your words in as he inhales deeply, just nodding for you to continue. “He started telling me how sorry he was for fucking things up and he was a mess, like a huge fucking mess. Then he told me about how he shouldn’t be feeling the way he does, because he doesn’t deserve it…”

“Jesus…” Niall shakes his head, probably already knowing where this is heading.

“And then he told me that his wife’s death was his fault. That was… pretty intense.”

“I can imagine.”

“I know I have to talk to him about it, but I’m really afraid he might shake it off, but it seems like he is having some serious issues and I wouldn’t want things to get out of hands. That’s why I thought I would talk to you, maybe you know what to do or how to approach him with such a sensitive subject.”

“Yeah, I get it. It’s nice of you for being so considerate,” Niall nods, scratching his chin. “Alright, I’ll tell you what I know, but please also let him tell you if he decides to share it with you.” You nod and turn all your attention to him. “I didn’t find this out until about two months after Maggie’s death, but apparently, the night she died they had a fight. Maggie had been nagging Harry to have another baby, but he wanted to wait a little longer, until Izzy is older so they don’t have two babies at the same time. Harry said they had another big fight about it, said some pretty nasty things to each other before Maggie just stormed out to go over to her sister’s. She made it there, but… never made it back home.”

A shiver runs down your spine at the thought of how devastating it must have been, losing your partner after an intense fight without ever making up.

“Understandably, Harry completely lost his shit. For weeks he was barely functioning and we all knew he was grieving, but we didn’t know that he was blaming himself for what happened. When he wasn’t getting any better we somehow convinced him to go to therapy which luckily helped him immensely, but he stopped going a while ago. I thought he got things straight in his head about this whole Maggie situation, but I guess he is still hung up on that.”

“What about the drinking, did that happen a lot?”

“Not that I know of. I mean, yeah, he got wasted quite a few times, but only at the beginning. I don’t think you should be afraid that he might turn into an alcoholic. I think he is just really struggling right now because of the conflict he is having because of you.”

“Because of me?”

“Yeah, he is clearly very confused about his feelings for you and he has convinced himself he shouldn’t feel this way towards anyone ever, but then you came,” he chuckles softly giving you a knowing look.

“Niall, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” you breathe out, worry and fear slowly taking over your judgment.

“First and foremost just… be patient with him, okay? This is genuinely the first time he has taken an interest in anyone since Maggie and I think he has already taken some big steps, which is a good sign. Try to talk to him and be open, but don’t push him. I know it can be really annoying when he keeps things, but let him tell you everything at his own pace.”

You nod, understanding the importance of not rushing Harry into anything. Just because you want to get over the awkwardness of the current situation, you can’t push him over his own boundaries.

“Okay, I’ll try to do that,” you nod taking a deep breath. “Thank you, Niall.”

“Oh, and don’t let him give you the ‘you work for me, we shouldn’t be doing this’ bullshit alright? He’ll try to make it out to be some kind of business, but it’s not. He needs to get himself out there and I genuinely think you’re the right person to help him with that.”

His words touch you and you’re not even sure how to react. Niall is clearly someone who stands close to Harry and if he thinks that you and him should give it a try, that must mean something. You can only hope that Harry will come around and think the same at one point.

Izzy gets a little fussy by the end of the day and it takes a lot of persuading to get her to bed in the evening. Harry arrived back home on his usual time and because it’s been such a hot day outside, he took her out to the pool. The problem with that is that Izzy never wants to get out of the water, so when Harry said it’s time for dinner she threw a bit of a tantrum as Harry brought her inside and her mood didn’t get any better later either.

You spent most of your night in the living room just watching TV and working on your laptop, updating your schedule for the upcoming weeks and doing some editing. Harry stays upstairs with Izzy for a long time when her bedtime comes and you figure she is still a little moody, but then you eventually hear his footsteps approaching. Harry pads his way into the living room and joins you on the couch. When you glance over at him you know he is trying to find a way to start the conversation you both know you need to have, so you put your laptop aside and turn your attention towards him.

“Y/N, I’m really sorry about last night. I’m honestly so terribly ashamed you had to… see me like that,” he starts, clearly nervous to bring it all up.

“It’s fine, happens to everyone,” you assure him and it’s the genuine truth.

“It’s not a regular occurrence, really. I usually know my limits and try to stay within them. I’m really sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

“Harry, don’t worry about it,” you tell him again with a warm smile. “We can get past it. I think what we really should talk about is… what you said. Do you remember what we talked about?” you carefully ask.

“I do…” he nods, awkward diverting his eyes away from you. “I’m sorry I told you all that in that state, I didn’t… I didn’t mean to just pour it all on you so suddenly.”

“It’s alright.” “No, it’s not,” he protests shaking his head. “I dropped a bomb on you because I couldn’t deal with my own problems the right way, and it’s not okay. So please, just… accept my apology.”

“Okay, I accept it,” you nod.

“And about the whole thing with… What I told you about Maggie…”

“Just know that you don’t have to talk about it now if you don’t want to. I’m happy to listen whenever you are ready to, but I’m not trying to push you.”

“I know and thank you for that, but I feel like… I owe you an explanation,” he admits and you nod, happy that he is willing to talk instead of closing himself off entirely. “The day Maggie died, we got into this huge fight and she ran off to her sister. It was… a whole mess, we both said things we clearly didn’t mean and I texted her, tried to get her to come home so we could talk things out. That’s when… she was on her way home when it happened and… I still feel like it was my fault.” His voice dies down at the end, just like it did last night when he was talking about her. It clearly left a deep scar on him that’s still not entirely healed and you can’t blame him.

“Everyone keeps telling me that it wasn’t, that it was just all one big coincidence, but all I can think about is that she would still be here if we didn’t get into the fight and I didn’t piss her off so much she felt the need to leave.”

“There was no way for you to see what would happen, Harry. It’s not like you did it on purpose, you had no power over the drunk driver or where Maggie chose to drive home. It really was a coincidence.”

“I know, I mean… I understand, but somehow, my mind keeps telling me that it was my fault.”

“Have you thought about… getting professional help?” you ask, trying to be polite and cautious on the topic.

“Actually, I just called my therapist today to see if… she can fit me in for some sessions,” he admits and you’re surprised at how great he is dealing with the matter. “I feel like I might need some guidance again, before things get out of my hands.”

“That’s great! It really is good to go a bit ahead of problems.”

“Yeah. About us…” he exhales nervously, his eyes meeting yours and you can tell this is the part that’s got him the most anxious. You take this as your queue to take over the conversation.

“Harry, I’m going to be honest with you,” you start and he nods, chewing on his bottom lip. “I… I have feelings for you. You haven’t been the only one making realizations,” you add with a soft chuckle, that brings a smile to his lips as well. “I know that the situation is not quite ideal, but it’s not impossible. But I just want you to be honest with me, do you have feelings for me?”

The conflict is clearer than daylight in his eyes as he is trying to figure out what to say and you really hope he isn’t gonna try to mask his feelings.

“I do,” he then admits and it’s like a giant rock has been lifted off your chest and shoulders. “It’s just… I’m not sure how to deal with it.”

“That’s alright,” you tell him. “Let’s just… take it slow. We’re not in a rush, we obviously have a lot to figure out and that’s completely fine. The pace is completely up to you, I know that you need to get a lot of things straight in your head and I can wait, okay? I’m not going anywhere, I really like where we are now and… I just hope that we can move this forward whenever you feel comfortable with it.”

Harry stares back at you for a moment like you’re some alien creature. Like what you just said wasn’t normal or even human and that’s quite heartbreaking, because somewhere along the way he managed to convince himself that he is not worthy of the most basic decency.

“I-I can’t ask you to wait around while I figure my shit out, that’s not—“

“You’re not asking me, Harry,” you smile at him softly. “This is my decision.”

His eyes are shifting between yours and he is most likely looking for any sign of doubt or qualm, but there’s none, you genuinely meant everything you said.

“So, where does this leave us?” he then asks and you shrug your shoulders.

“Everything goes on like it used to and… whenever you are ready to take a step, just… let me know.”

You can tell he is filled with questions, but he just nods with a weak smile and leaves it at that. This will be a bumpy ride, but at least you are more or less on the same page now.

You haven’t been a big fan of birthday celebrations. You just never understood the big fuss about it, throwing a party for surviving another year? Seems a little weird. This is why you never treated this day any different.

The morning starts off as usual, only that you wake up to a few texts from friends and family, wishing you a happy birthday. Your mom has sent you a whole damn paragraph about how you made her life complete and it wouldn’t be the same without you in it. She does that every time, gets a little too sentimental about it, but you guess it’s because it reminds her of getting old herself as well, which is a sensitive topic in her book these days.

It’s a Sunday, so a day off for you. Coming downstairs you find Izzy and Harry sitting at the dining table, already having their breakfast as usual, but when she sees you, she jumps in her seat in excitement.

“Good morning, Y/N!” she beams with a wide smile, buzzing more than she usually does.

“Morning, Sunshine. Slept well?” you ask as you pour yourself some cereal and join them at the table. Izzy nods and then peeks at her father as if she is trying to hide something with him from you.

“Daddy, can we do it now?” she asks in a whisper, but it’s not quiet enough for you to not hear it.

Your eyes lock with Harry’s over the table and the butterflies in your stomach start dancing around right away when you see the tiny smirk tugging on his lips.

It’s been almost an entire week since your conversation with him and things finally seem to get in place for now. Harry had his first session with his therapist on Wednesday and though you can tell he is still trying to find his own boundaries, he doesn’t worry as much about the situation as he probably did before. He isn’t walking on eggshells around you, unsure how to act. More or less it’s the same as it was before the kiss, but there are tiny little things that still make it different. Stolen glances, lingering touches and sweet smiles are making your days more colorful now and it’s gotten you all giddy and… happy.

“What are you two plotting, huh?” you ask, pointing at them with your spoon before digging into the cereal. Izzy glances at Harry one last time and when he nods shortly, she turns to you and throws her arms in the air.

“Happy birthday, Y/N!” she cheers as Harry reaches over to the chair next to him and pulls up a box from under the table, handing it over to Izzy so she could give it to you. “This is for you!”

“You shouldn’t have gotten me anything!” you gasp, truly surprised by the gift. You were not expecting it at all.

“It’s not a birthday without gifts!” she giggles excitedly as she hands the box over. You push your cereal bowl to the side and set the gift to the table in front of you. “Open it!” she urges you, her little hands curled into fists as she watches your every move, as if it was her who just got a present.

Your eyes meet Harry’s green ones over the table once more and he is watching you with a small smile, probably enjoying that he could surprise you.

You pull on the bow on the top and then carefully take the wrapping paper off until the box is revealed underneath and you gas as soon as you realize what this is.

“Oh my God!” you breathe out in disbelief as you take a better look at the gift. Harry didn’t just get you something, he actually listened to what you were saying and remembered that you’re a big fan of oldschool cameras and you have a special love for polaroids. And now, in front of you in the box is your very own polaroid camera, something you’ve been really wanting to buy for yourself for a long time, but you just never got around to actually do it.

“Do you like it? Daddy said you’d really like it!” Izzy asks with big eyes, watching your reaction.

“Oh, I love it!” you breathe out, feeling all mushy and melted from the gesture. Izzy climbs over to your lap, hugging your neck. You wrap your arms around her in a bone crushing hug and you’re so thankful for having them both in your life.

Izzy sits on your lap as you get the camera out of the box and figure out how to work it. She then hops off your lap and poses for the first ever picture taken with your new favorite camera.

“But it’s blank!” she furrows her eyebrows when the photo comes out.

“Because you have to wait for it to develop. It’ll show up in a few minutes,” you smile, setting the photo down on the table.

Izzy sits in her seat, excitedly waiting for the photo to develop and in the meanwhile you join Harry in the kitchen where he is washing the dishes. He spots you and turns the tap off, turning to face you as he dries his hands off.

“You shouldn’t have gotten me anything,” you tell him softly, but really feel touched by the gesture.

“No, but I wanted to. Do you really like it?”

“I love it!” you chuckle in disbelief. How could he think you wouldn’t like it?!

You move forward, aiming for a hug out of instinct but then stop yourself, not wanting to cross any boundaries, but Harry notices the motion and for your surprise, he wraps you in a warm hug on his own. You melt against his hard chest, your nose buried into his shoulder as your arms circle around his waist.

When you lean back, you both keep your arms around each other, eyes meeting and you realize just how close you are to each other. Without even knowing, your gaze flickers down to his lips and you’re dying to kiss him, to feel them again, but you don’t move, wanting to keep your word about letting him set the pace.

But what you didn’t expect is Harry leaning down and capturing your lips in a sweet, innocent kiss. It’s so different from the last time, that was a hot mess, but this one… this is light as a feather but still makes your stomach somersault as you taste his lips, cupping his face in your hands.

“Daddy! I’m thirsty!” Izzy calls out from outside and it kind of ends the moment. Harry pulls back and when you look at him you see that his eyes are still closed. They flutter open a moment later, finding your gaze and you look for any kind of regret or fear in them, but they are nothing but shiny.

“Just a moment, baby!” he answers her, a small smile tugging on his lips as he leans down and pecks the corner of your mouth again before his hands fall from your waist. “Happy birthday, Y/N,” he breathes out before grabbing a bottled water and heading back to Izzy.

You bring your fingertips to your tingling lips as you take a moment to really process what just happened and you can’t push down the smile that spreads across your face. Harry finally took the first step and now you can’t wait to see what’s coming next.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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