#but the whole trailer is literally just 'everything is normal and then SUDDENLY YOURE IN ALTWORLD YOU NEED TO FIGHT

[sp0o0kylights]

Like the Wolf Steve/Eddie Werewolf AU

I  have so much of this stupid thing written and it’s stuck on ch. 2 so imma just throw all the pieces up here now. 

This is a werewolf AU, not an A/B/O fic. My version of Alphas and Omegas runs like a mixmash of Patricia Brigg’s, Ilonia Andrew’s, and Carrie Vaughn’s. There is no second gender, werewolves establish a hierarchy within a pack by who is most dominant/submissive, with two Alpha’s to a pack and Omegas being an extremely rare gift.  Direct eye contact is considered a challenge and society has evolved to accept multiple types of Packs, including ones that include others beyond werewolves. All is explained in fic.

Warnings: Period typical homophobia, Eddie having trauma responses/being bullied/being hunted, mentions of Chrissy’s bones going snappy snappy,  and a general mention of the delightfully dumb social/moral/ethical issues that paranormal creatures raise.

Eddie Munson was not anyone's idea of a proper pack Alpha. 

Nor was he the kind of guy people wanted in a Pack, (capitol P intended, because “Titles are important, Edward.” and fuck did he hate when adults called him that. He went by Eddie for a reason.) or anywhere near them, period. 

Experience taught him that even in a traditional Shifter town like Hawkins, filled to the brim with werewolves and not much else, people would pick literally anyone over him when it came time to pair up.

Witches, the Fae, hell, even humans were better than him in the eyes of his peers. They wouldn’t pick him to be their PE tennis partner if he was the last guy left, let alone allow such deep and familiar actions like “treating him nicely” or “waving hello.” 

Letting him in their Pack? Any Pack, from a “true” one with the whole bond thing and fancy magic, down to the stupid social ones that did nothing more than let you know who your friends or coworkers were? 

Perish the thought!

“My mom says you’re a total freak.” One of the old-blooded, rich brats had said in third grade, and the nickname had stuck like glue ever since. 

It followed him throughout the years like it was branded on his forehead, accompanied by a steadily growing list of insults.

Weird. Faggot. Failure. Lone Wolf. 

Other.

Different.

He'd tried long ago to stop letting it hurt him. The way they made him aware that he fell so outside the realm of what others considered normal that they actively shunned him. 

It took until his sophomore year to get good at pretending it wasn’t painful, and at least by his third attempt at graduating, he had it down to where others believed it. 

Had even carved out a place for himself, starting with the Hellfire club. 

Gone about, rounding up all the other undesirables, the outcasted freaks who just didn’t fit into the stupid little social circles or dumb hierarchies of small towns the world over. 

Took in Grant the human, and Jeff the half vampire and Gareth, who was sick all the time even though he was a werewolf. 

Then the small group of incoming Freshman who’d been too loud, too proud, and far too nerdy to walk the halls without some kind of protection. 

It wasn’t much, but for someone like Eddie?

It had been everything. 

Too bad he was in Hawkins, Indiana, where people like him didn’t get to enjoy things.

Not without bad things happening.

Really bad things. 

Chrissy Cunningham pulling an exorcist level of demonic possession, dying on his ceiling, and crashing down like a broken porcelain doll to the floor of his trailer level of bad things. 

Suddenly Eddie wasn’t just the guy who couldn’t follow the same societal norms as every other bland teenage werewolf. 

He was dangerous. 

Satanic. 

His freak status elevated from “guy with long hair and weird clothes who wouldn’t stop acting like he was an Alpha” to “wolf willing to exchange his very soul in order to bring about the end of the world”-or something. 

Eddie hadn’t really listened much to Jason Carver’s rabid ranting, but he got the gist well enough. 

It didn’t even matter that for all the magic in the world, demons and satan were more of a human concept than anything that had proven, hard hitting magic sitting behind it. Satanic panic was just in, and Chrissy-

He couldn't think about Chrissy. 

Not that the  truth mattered anyway. 

No, the only thing that did was that one of their golden children had died in their town. A town they built, full of old werewolf families and a handful of powerful allies, that catered to them. 

They needed reparation for the insult that had been brought upon their power. 

Eddie was just the convenient lamb they had chosen to slaughter. 

So here he was, outcasted by the whole town. Watching as the people who hated him collectively lost their minds, regressing back to the days of one singular Pack hierarchy controlling everything. Two Alpha’s to rule them all, with Jason fucking Carver was taking on the role as one of them. 

Screw all the centuries of the world that had built past that. The way society was no longer “letting the inner beast win” but was instead getting along, moving forward. 

Eddie hadn’t needed whatever had actually happened with Chrissy to know how much of a lie it was, but then he hadn’t planed on pulling back the facade either. 

To bad for you, you idiot. 

Not that there was anything he could do. Not with his van, stupid idiotic, easy to spot van out of commission, blown up transmission leaving him stranded not even two miles from his house. He’d exhausted himself just to get to the boathouse, knowing damn well that it wouldn’t make one ounce of difference if he’d bolted or called the cops. 

They were gonna lay Chrissy’s death on his head, and now his chance to escape their wrath had all but dropped to zero. 

Best he could do was hide. Wait it out. 

Hope whatever the fuck had gotten Chrissy wasn’t going to come after him too. 

The reminder didn’t help, that he had no idea what the hell had even happened. His  mind ran in circles with his terror, trying to make sense of it, but all he could think about was how he could leave this damn boathouse. 

How he could get out.

Out of Hawkins, out of Indiana, just fucking out. 

It was that terror, the surge of adrenaline and the pure knowledge that if anyone caught him, his chances of survival dropped to damn near zero that he blamed for not recognizing Henderson’s voice. 

Hadn’t even picked up on the younger wolf’s scent, he’d been so freaked out. 

Wired with the intensity of a cornered animal, Eddie’s wolf staring out of his eyes and firmly in control the second he realized he wasn’t alone and whoever was here was calling his name, and all rational thoughts went right out the door. 

Add in Steve fucking Harrington, former King of Hawkins High and total asshole violently poking around, and well. 

There wasn’t a thought to be had at all. 

Not in Eddie’s head, anyway. 

He’d attacked when hiding no longer remained an option, proud of himself for pinning the larger wolf to the wall, snarling like the devil they thought he was. 

And Harrington-Harrington let him. 

Put his hands up as he crashed back against the wall. Kept his eyes off of Eddie’s, kept his throat exposed until Dustin could talk Eddie down. 

Explain some things.

Explain all the fucking things, which didn’t help his situation, at all, but did at least help his overall mental state. 

“We’ll work this out.” Henderson had said, voice confident, and Eddie, exhausted, starving, haunted by Chrissy’s bones snapping every time he closed his eyes-believed him.

Even if it was the stupidest thing to do. 

Because for all his bravado, all his jumping on tables and loud speeches, the Throne he DM’d from and the Hellfire Club he ran-Eddie Munson had a secret. 

He desperately, desperately, needed someone on his side.  

Anybody. 

Especially now, when he could feel himself seconds away from falling apart, life ripped out from under him a second time. 

Pity this time round he didn’t have yet another Uncle to run to. 

(It took Eddie a long time, in that same boathouse, to realize that Harrington had never retaliated against him for Eddie’s attack. For pinning him to the wall in front of his Packmate’s and making him look weak with a broken glass bottle, of all things.  

 Had in fact, backed down. 

Which was a hell of a thing, when Eddie had discovered that the damn freshman hadn’t been fibbing for fun.

They really did have a little established Pack, bonds and all, and Steve Harrington really was the Alpha in control of it. 

A born werewolf from one of Hawkins oldest families, with all their rules, fancy parties and refusal to be anything other than the best and he’d let Eddie, trailer park trash and son of two bitten, made, werewolves, pin him down like a puppy. 

If Eddie hadn’t been wrestling with the existence of a hell dimension, hand made superpowers, and the reality of a world where humans were experimenting on species of various kinds, the long held treaty laws be damned while they raced the Russians to do fuck knew what, he might have caught on that Steve was just as different as he was, a whole lot sooner. 

As it was, he just remained exhausted, hungry, and very, very grateful for the stupid freshmen.) 

                                                         xXx

Shit hadn’t really gone sideways in the boathouse until the third time Henderson's little crew had dropped off food. 

Dustin took in the look on Eddie’s face when Steve had unloaded the honeycomb cereal box, like the man had just seen water in a desert, and outright cackled. 

Eddie reached out automatically, hooking his arm around the freshman’s neck and pulling him taught to his side. Dustin shrieked as he was put into a nuggie, Eddie spinning them as the younger wolf pushed ineffectively at his arms. 

“Say uncle!” Eddie taunted with a grin.  

“Ow, ow, Eddie!” Dustin whined, before finally going limp and shouting; “Fine! Uncle!” 

Eddie dropped him with one last hair ruffle, grinning widely at him. 

Dustin grinned back, even as he pretended to fuss at his hair and clothes. “God, it’s not my fault you just realize Steve adopted you.” He said, rolling his eyes dramatically. “Why you gotta take it out on me?” 

Eddie went to automatically deny that he was taking anything out on Dustin. He was just the youngest wolf in the Hellfire Club which meant by all the rules in the universe, he was the automatic target for all teasing. 

The the kids words sunk in. 

Sunk in the same way fucking teeth went into a steak, all sharp and deep and pointed. 

Eddie froze so fast he almost nailed his face on one of the overhanging oars. 

“What?” He said, positive he misheard. 

“Those are your favorites right?” Dustin said, pointing at the offending cereal box on the ground. “He’s always been like, weirdly good at knowing what his packmates eat. I’d say it’s an Alpha thing but it’s totally not.” 

“What.” Eddie said again, his voice coming out as more of a surprised croak. 

“Max insists he pays super close attention but come on, it’s Steve. I once watched him trip trying to do the dance from the Breakfast Club. It’s absolutely just like, his weird little superpower.” Dustin hummed for a moment, face scrunched up in thought. “Like, snack-sense. Stevie Snack Sense!” 

Eddie stared, the words “Steve adopted you” and “weirdly good at knowing what his packmates eat” ping-ponging around his head. 

Henderson’s grin grew impossibly wider. “Get it? Like Scooby snacks?”  

Then he laughed his weird little cackle again, ignoring the way Eddie had crashed like one of the shitty computers their school was so proud of owning. 

‘Danger alert, the Freak is overheating. Danger alert, the Freak is-’ 

“Henderson are you coming or what!?” Steve yelled, causing Eddie to jump and Dustin to spin around, shouting something rude back.

“Keep your walkie on, okay?” Dustin said, turning back with a worried look that would have been touching if Eddie had been paying any attention at all, before scampering off to have an argument with his Pack Alpha. 

The same one who apparently, allowed such things from whiny, teenage puppies, and also, was trying to adopt Eddie. 

Into his Pack. 

Eddie just stared after them, feeling vaguely like the world no longer made sense.

Probably because it didn’t.

#Hungry verse #werewolf AU #stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #dustin henderson #werewolf steve harrington #werewolf eddie munson #pack #packmates #0o0 fanfics

[pagesofkenna]

i understand that im not the target audience here but the number of video game trailers this weekend that are basically 'FIGHT some FOES with some COOL BATTLE MECHANICS and you can CRAFT TOO so you FIGHT BETTER'

like whats the game about. so far it sounds boring

#im catching up on nintendo's direct now #that shin megami trailer - idk that series so im not interested anyways #but the whole trailer is literally just 'everything is normal and then SUDDENLY YOURE IN ALTWORLD YOU NEED TO FIGHT #theres DEMONS everywhere and oh look MORE DEMONS you FIGHT THEM some with FIGHT for you then more FIGHT' #i do not know how you could make this game sound more boring #opening up with announcing a super smash/tekken crossover was not a good sign for me i guess

[simpz-art-stash]

Late beginnings

Summary: Mac goes out for a drink, and happens upon some advice he takes into consideration about his skewered relationship with Wukong. Before finally taking some action to mend the long burnt bridge. (Author’s note: I barely did any beta reading for this so if it’s worded strangely that’s just how I write without the normal filter on. I’m country so HOWDY) Next Page ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- The night was late, but he didn’t care, he might as well have been nocturnal with the way his whole life revolved around the whole stereotype of shadows and shit. He’d walked into a bar he’d passed through a few times before, donning his human disguise of course beforehand, and walked in without sparing anyone else a glance. Before planting his rear in one of the stools seated at the front bar, ordering a drink to get the night started. “I’m really looking forward to seeing that new Monkey King movie with the trailer they just released. You saw it too right?? The whole style of the film is on par with their most recent game- OH, you think they’re gonna make a game of it?? I bet you they wiiiill!~” Ugh, great, just what he’d come here to avoid.

Mac’s eyes glanced to the blabbermouth boasting about whatever new movie was being made about his ex, to see two girls residing a ways down near the other end of the bar a few seats away from him. Both looking to have had a fair night themselves already if any of the cups and plates hanging around their spot was anything to go by. “Probably. I hope it’s better than last game that came out on the Brick 360, the bugs in that thing were gross to deal with.” Their friend commented back. Before looking down at their phone and claiming that it was getting late and that they had to go. “Yeah I’ll see ya Monday!” The chick waved their friend off a lazy farewell after they’d paid their bill before going back to their drink, now taking less tedious sips as the mood seemed to smooth out from their conversation prior. “I see someone’s a pretty big fan of that ol’ man.” Macaque piped up from where he sat, earning the attention of the stranger he’d directed his comment towards. “The Monkey King yeah?” Sparks danced in the chick’s eyes at the recognition of the name, before the stranger perked up and beamed a smile back at him, “You betcha! I’m a total nerd for that legend.” ‘A legend, hah.’ “S’the whole reason I moved to China in the first place.” She jabbed a thumb at her chest, “All the way from America!” Mac whistled, “That’s a pretty far leap to take, even for a legend. What, you hopin’ you’ll get the chance to see em’ or somethin’?” He sneered, taking his glass and lazily swirling it in his hand. “I wish!” She laughed, “Nah I mostly just moved here for work. If anything though it’s cuz a them for where I am now. I’d never even heard of him till about five years ago!” Mac blinked, lowering his drink from his lips, “You’re joking…”

“Not at all! No one hardly knows the story back home. Only reason I found out was cuz I just started gettin’ into anything monkey-related as a hobby.” She pointed at him, “Don’t laugh either, it’s a wildly popular standpoint to have these days online.” Mac quirked a brow at that, he’d hardly touched the internet these days save for whenever he needed some quick info on something he couldn’t find elsewhere. He held his hands up, “Hey I ain’t judging…” He smirked a little to betray the look that he totally was though. It was kinda funny how ironic it was him being there right then. She squinted at him, “Anyways...Yeah, I’d seen stuff of him online, but I’d never paid much attention to it up until recently.” “What made you change your mind?” Mac boredly probed, taking a sip. She simply shrugged, “I was in a dark headspace, guy made me laugh.” He paused, “Wait, seriously??” “I mean have you HEARD half the crazy shit he’s done??” ‘Babe I’ve LIVED through half the shit he’s done.’ “Like, literally, the guy is HILARIOUS. My favorite story out of them all being one where he literally tricked THREE taoist immortals into drinking his own piss!!” She burst out laughing while Mac choked on his drink a little, not having expected to hear that of all things. Sure he’d heard a few of the shenanigan’s his peaches had gotten up to throughout his journey to the west but he’d never heard that one before. Nor had he the patience to read through all that mess of context that had been published either. “Ahhh man, it still gets me…” The chick sighed with a few leftover laughs as she wiped a tear from her eye. “What about you? What’s your favorite story?” She asked. And suddenly Mac felt like he’d been put on the spot as he stared back at her. “Come ooon, surely there’s one that’s gotten your gut rolling.” She pried. ‘Plenty, but there ain’t no way in hell I’d tell a soul.’ “Bahh...there ain’t the first one that comes to mind that I’d like. Honestly I’m not even much of a fan.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Whaaat?? Aw come on! There’s tons of cool n’ funny stories!” “Heh..can’t imagine what you find so charming about a guy who’s too good for his own friends.” Mac spitefully twacked himself mentally for spewing something so personal like that out. Ugh, and he hadn’t even finished half his drink yet… The chick sitting to his left seemed to tilt her head a little before she squinted at him. Her silence being what brought his attention from his drink to her as he blinked back with a quirked brow. “What?” “Your eyes, they’re like raging storm clouds.” She pointed out. He blinked, not really sure how to feel about that. The only one who’d ever really pointed that out to him before was… “...So?” “Nothing!...” She shrugged, turning back away towards her own drink as if no conversation at all had happened between them. Whatever...he had his fill of shit to drink to either way. The night might’ve been late but he was just getting started. “He makes me laugh though.” She pointed out, earning her a glance. “All his stories n’ stuff. If there was ever a man I’d want, it’d be one who could always make me laugh.” “Hmph, not one for strength?” He took a long sip. Ignoring the bitterness of others fawning over someone he’d come to love before he’d gotten so popular. “Strength is fine n’ all, but it can only take a relationship so far..you gotta have more pieces to put in that crockpot of a relationship if you wanna make it taste good. Stuff like patience, honesty, a little bit of everything to help it all come together to make it juuuuust right.” “Hm…” “It can’t be all just you putting the stuff in there either, it’s gotta be a contribution from both gardens. Otherwise you’ll just barren your lands and be left with nothing to spare yourself or others in your life with.” She glanced at Mac, “Relationships are tricky like that, but they should always be a 50/50 split~” She winked. That...actually sounded like pretty sound advice. Something he’d heard a little here and there before but never so simply laid out. Though it made sense from his standpoint, fairness n’ all that. But he’d been that way with Wukong before and it had never worked out, all the bickering and such, so what had gone wrong? “Can I...ask you something?” Mac inquired. “Shoot.” “What’re your thoughts on..a relationship that seemed fine, but then the other changed so much that everything about it fell apart?” “Mmm...care to sprinkle in a lil more context?” The chick eyed him. Mac’s face scrunched up a little, no idea why he was asking some random mortal for relationship advice of all things. “Hey man. We’re both probably never gonna meet again after tonight, so if you’ve got skeletons in your closet, your best place to let em’ out is here. Bartenders are known for being the most well kept secret keepers in all the world after all~” She winked at the bartender in question who simply looked the other way with a look that might’ve suggested such a fact as truth. “Hm…” Ah screw it, “Alright alright…” He sighed and put his drink down, “There’s..someone. We used to be real close, we were strong together but then uh..shit got real and he had to go deal with it. But when he came back he uh, wasn’t the same as before, an I might’ve sorta assumed he was cheating on me so…so we kinda fell out.” The chick nodded, “Ahh..the classic misunderstanding of change and cheating, a tale as old as time.” She seemed to hum a moment before she turned from where she was seated, if not to hop down off her stool and plop down on the one right up next to him. “Uh-” “Shhh, lemme see those eyes.” She squinted, leaning in and staring deep into his. It’d would’ve been really unnerving if she hadn’t said anything about them before, now he was a lil put off that he might’ve been asking a witch of all things for advice… “Right. Well, at least you feel bad about it. So there’s that.” He blinked and his brows furrowed, “Wh- of course I feel bad about it, it was his fault-” He suddenly had a finger pressed to his lips. “Nope! Nooononono, you do not get to throw all the blame elsewhere like that sweetheart. There ain’t no way in hell you’re gettin’ a second chance with them if you keep that up.” She pulled her hands back. His face scrunched up and he found himself crossing his arms, if he had his tail out it would’ve been irritably swaying behind him right then at just how annoyed he was getting at this weird lady and her words. “Oh yeah? An what do you think’s best then huh?” “I dunno if you’d be up for that kinda challenge…” She idly fiddled with an imaginative piece of lint off her sleeve, which only seemed to irritate Mac further at the thought of him not being able to handle Wukong of all people. Like sure he’d gotten his ass handed to him before but he could still hold his own! “Try me.” The chick glanced back at him with a smirk, which caught him off guard for a second before he shot her a glare back. “Alright, but it’s definitely not gonna be as quick or easygoing of a recovery as you might hope it’ll be. Nor is there even a chance of you recovering it in the first place. But, you at least got that spark enough to try so who am I to deny?” ‘Hmpt, dam right I got a spark.’

“First of all, no more blaming, if you’re gonna tackle this properly, you gotta do yourselves a favor an quit it with the blame placing. Sure it’s easy, but it ain’t gonna get you nowhere but back to square one. It’s all in the past, the now is now. So push forward to fix it and put it behind you two so you can focus on the more important things.” “Easier said than done…” “Hey man, even if they don’t follow the same ruleset at first you could always work things out to make it one later on. I’m just tellin’ ya right now so you won’t just go diggin’ yourself a deeper hole.” Honestly at this point he was pretty much six feet down under, death to him would’ve been a mercy right then. “Fine…” He rolled his eyes. “Next up, apologizing…” -----------~----------- “I thought I told you to stay off my island.” Mac didn’t really glance back from where he stood high up on one of the breathtaking ledges that which Flower Fruit Mountain bolstered. His arms crossed, eyes sternly held against the leftover warmth of the late afternoon sun as it shifted the skies hues from blue to blood red. Hopefully that would be the only tinge of red the Mountain would see after today. “I know.” “What, no witty remark? Give me one good reason-” “I just wanted to talk.” Mac stated plainly. “Why the hell should I give you the chance?” “...” Mac wasn’t sure if he could come up with a good enough reason after the shitshow he’d caused him the last few centuries, most recent being his spat with him between MK. “I’m sorry.” That seemed to catch the king off guard, as he paused in his vicious glare to stare at the other. “Excuse me??” “I’m.Sorry.” Mac turned finally to Wukong, that look of fiery malice having softened immensely upon meeting their eyes. “I was wrong for what I did and I’m sorry.” Wukong’s face looked like it had had a stroke with how frozen in place it was, almost like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Hurting everyone around you just to get back at you, I was wrong for doing that. And I just wanted to apologize.” Mac’s face twisted a little, the words coming out a little rougher than he’d liked, but he’d managed to get three steps in so far… “If you think a few sorry’s are gonna be enough to make up for all that crap then you gotta nother’ thing comin Mac.” Wukong finally shook off the surprise and crossed his arms with a steely gaze. “Nah I know they ain’t worth shit with as long as it's been...which it’s been..a really, really long time come to think of it..nearly 3000 years…” Fucking yikes. “What’s your point?...” Wukong raised a brow at him. “My point is...my point..” What was his point? To make amends and hope they’d get back together? To go back to the way things were? That couldn’t be done with the way things were now. Wukong had a successor, a moral compass, a lotta shit that Mac didn’t. A lotta shit that he wanted but never could figure out how to get his own. His face scrunched up a little and he sighed, “I..just wanted to make things right.” “Oh-hoh? After so long you finally decided to admit you were at fault? Sorry Mac, but it’s waaaay too late for that.” Wukong huffed, “Honestly, this is probably just another one of your stupid tricks if anything. The old Macaque would never throw himself down like that.” “Well maybe I’ve changed!” Mac exclaimed suddenly, his temper flaring a bit as his eyes flashed lightning. “3000 years later? As if…” Wukong rolled his eyes and turned away, “You’ve still got that same look in your eyes you always do whenever we fight. Do me a favor and just keep away from the hot springs this time yeah? The last time you were here you sent a whole dam boulder over there and smashed half the pools.” He waved his hand dismissively. “And I happen to take my once a month bath’s very seriously.” Mac’s nostrils flared a little at just how flamboyant Wukong was acting towards him and his attempt to make amends. How he just saw his attempt as a joke and nothing more, it pissed him off. Wukong had changed and everyone had accepted him, well not everyone, but still, why couldn’t the same be for him? Had he really fooled himself into believing that there was a chance he and Wukong could be together again? His shoulders slumped a little. Of course, who was he kidding. A 3000 year old pit of grudges wasn’t about to just up and disappear at the wave of a white flag. This was Wukong, the same guy who still playfully pestered the gods and demons around him for past conflicts that had happened between them. -----------~----------- “But you can’t just go, ‘ooo I’m so sorry for what I did.’ Nah, you gotta follow the five steps.” The chick claimed. “Yeesh, this a learning course now?” Mac tilted his head to the side. “It is if you wanna make things right.” She claimed matter a factly. “The five steps have never failed me before and have worked wonders for any an all my relationships. Might not quite have the same range of effect you’re going for but it’ll at least be a good start.” “Heh, you got the guts to back up that case?” Mac sneered. “I will if you don’t manage to screw it up.” The chick pointed out. “The five steps go as follows.” - express sorrow (I’m sorry) - own guilt (I was wrong) - name specific wrongs (I did X) - name impact (I hurt you) “And finally...” -----------~----------- “What can I do to prove myself to you?” Macaque asked finally. “What can I do to at least make it to where we can..not fight anymore..and just talk?...” Wukong stood there for a long moment, his features unreadable as their silence was muffled by the wind bellowing between them both from being so high up. “You really are serious about this aren’t you?...” Wukong’s head shifted ever so slightly, but not enough to where Mac could get a reading on his emotions. “I’m tired of fighting and waiting and thinking that if enough time passes things’ll go back to the way they were...when they never will. Trying to hurt you isn’t gonna make the old you come back, no matter how many times you beat me down...It’ll never be the same.” Mac admitted finally. A quiet gust settled down between them, before Wukong seemed to let out a dry chuckle and shook his head. “Can’t believe it took me 3000 years to beat the sense into you.” He turned and looked back at the other, where he no longer held a look of seething hate, but more akin to that of the same tired look just as the one Mac wore. Mac felt a sliver of guilt wriggle its way into one of the cracks of his heart and he glanced away, pulling a hand back and scratching his head. “Yeah well...your kid hit me pretty hard last time, enough to knock it in place.” A small smile crept a little onto his face. “Hm~ He’s gettin’ pretty good at hittin’ stuff with that old stick.” Wukong’s eyes glinted a little at the appeal of how proud he was for MK having taken Mac out the way he did. A little over the top and flashy, just like him.” “He’s got a pretty strong master to thank for that…” Mac found himself yearning a little for that same glint to be reflected on his memory the same way as MK’s. Not that he couldn’t see himself holding the same appeal for MK the way Wukong did, kid was strong, just a lil desperate in some of the cracks that shaped his outline. Something Macaque found that was easy enough to take advantage of, and something Wukong held a blind eye to. “Hm.” Wukong’s reply pushed him out of those thoughts for the moment as they shared a brief look between one another. A glimmer of reconsideration flashing between the two before Wukong finally turned his head away to drink in the sunset before them. “One chance.” Mac felt his heart nearly stop at that answer. “I’ll give you one chance, but if you screw this up, don’t even think about showing your face to me again.” Wukong replied, “I mean it this time…” Mac swallowed a little and nodded. Anything, he’d be willing to do anything to gain back what little trust he could from Wukong. “Good...you can start making up for it by apologizing to MK.” Mac blinked and sputtered a little as Wukong turned away and began to make his way back down the mountain. A smile playing on his lips while Macaque groaned to the heavens about his next trial.

#shadowpeaches #LMK #lego monkie kid #my fics #Sun Wukong #Macaque #AND MEEEEE #BECAUSE I SAID SO #>:3c

[hartigays]

Rafebarry Prompt for you! So what about some of Barry’s pals being over at the trailer and they’re all just like “Damn Bro” at seeing Rafe (who’s just living his best chaotic life, being Barry’s housewife/partner in crime) and Barry’s just all smug about it like “Yeah. I’m hittin’ that. Be jealous.”

tw: mature themes (drug use, sexual implications) and some homophobic language (just a comment from some loser tho)

rafe’s bike tears through swampy grass and dirt with a vengeance as he pulls into barry’s front yard, leaving tire marks in his wake.

when he pulls off his helmet, the first thing he sees are people spilling in and out of the trailer. people rafe doesn’t recognize - some of them attractive, even.

which is… infuriating, to put it lightly.

barry clearly hadn’t felt the need to keep rafe in the loop, inviting him over without informing him that half of the cut would be in attendance as well.

like, seriously, what the fuck? rafe had thought - well. he’d intended to come here to pick up some blow, and maybe, possibly, perhaps let barry have his way with him while he’s at it.

barry can’t have his way with him if half the population of north carolina is stacked up inside the trailer. and that’s just. frustrating.

rafe kind of wants to drive his bike straight through the trailer, mowing some partygoers down and end this whole shebang right here and now. but, as barry has made explicitly clear time and time again, rafe is Not Allowed to harm and/or kill people on his property.

it’s sometimes irritating, this whole thing they’ve started. this casual fling that’s maybe not-so-casual anymore considering rafe agreed to be exclusive with barry not even two days ago.

there are just. so many rules, like no maiming, or killing, or… actually, that’s about it. but that’s two rules too many. rafe doesn’t like rules, or being told what he can or can’t do.

barry is just lucky rafe likes him. kind of. sort of. somewhat.

otherwise, barry would be drifting along the bottom of the ocean somewhere, flesh being nibbled away at by fish and sharks and the like.

rafe flings his helmet towards his bike, not bothering to see if it landed anywhere convenient, before storming across the yard and shoving himself through a cluster of people to get inside the trailer.

barry is sitting on the couch, all sorts of people surrounding him, looking like he’s already fucked up beyond belief.

which is also annoying, because he was supposed to get fucked up beyond belief with rafe, then mandhandle rafe into bed to have his wicked way with him. like always.

“ayy, country club!” barry practically shouts over the noice, his accent even thicker and more drawn out than usual. “you made it!”

“yeah, barry, i made it,” rafe snaps, then sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

look, he’s not against parties or anything. actually, he’s quite in favor of them. he just… did not plan for his day to go like this.

rafe wanted barry’s full attention, which is now virtually impossible given the amount of bodies that are currently filling the room.

barry just looks at rafe with glazed eyes, leaning back casually against the couch cushions. “aw, don’t you go pouting on me ‘n shit, rafe cameron. ain’t you always down for a party or some shit like that?”

“a little heads up would’ve been nice,” rafe tells him, his temper rearing it’s ugly head again and bleeding into his voice. “look, can i just get my shit so i can get out of here?”

rafe moves around the coffee table, elbowing a few drunk idiots out of his way as he does. barry eyes him as he comes closer, before suddenly swinging one arm out and wrapping it around rafe’s waist. he ropes rafe in close enough that rafe stumbles a bit over barry’s feet, sprawling right into his lap.

“see, ain’t that more like it, country club?” barry purrs, his lips pressed against rafe’s ear.

rafe feels a shiver rocket down his spine, but also a flare of anxiety.

barry is certainly fucked up beyond comprehension, and they haven’t exactly talked about making their relationship public. rafe has no idea if this is something barry will regret in the morning and end up cutting rafe off.

but to be fair, if barry did wake up and decide to tell rafe to fuck off, rafe would probably just kill him. he might just kill him anyway, just because he feels like it.

and since barry’s inevitable death is hurtling towards them at breakneck speed, rafe might as well enjoy barry’s final moments while he can.

so he lets barry kiss him, full on the mouth, on display for the hundred or so other people milling about the room.

rafe, regrettably, makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat when he feels barry’s tongue dip into his mouth, sweeping across his own.

regrettably, because some fucking weird ass next to barry leans in close to watch. rafe can see the movement out of the corner of his eye.

but barry isn’t deterred. he might be a little encouraged, even, because he deepens the kiss even more, pressing in so close that rafe feels like they could crawl inside of each other and form one cohesive nightmare of a person.

“ain’t peg you for a fag, barry,” the guy comments, his words slurring. he burps after he speaks, and barry detaches his lips from rafe to look over at the source of the noise.

“the fuck you just say to me?” barry snaps, digging his fingers into rafe’s hips to keep him in place when rafe moves to get up, ready to just slit this guy’s throat and be done with it. “ain’t you in my damn house, fuckass? who the fuck you think you’re talkin’ to?”

“hey, man, didn’t mean no offense,” the guy says, raising his hands in mock surrender before burping again. “jus’ askin’.”

“getcho’ dumbass out my house, bro,” barry tells him, removing one hand from rafe’s hips for only a moment, just to shove the guy out of his seat.

the still nameless man just shrugs, gulping down the remnants of his beer before getting up and disappearing into the crowd.

“i think you guys are cute,” a girl giggles from where she’s seated, across from the couch rafe and barry are currently planted on.

barry looks up at rafe, and it’s almost fond and god, that’s disgusting. rafe wants to soak himself in it, let it marinate until it’s deeply ingrained in every fiber of his being.

“sho’ are,” barry agrees with her, still looking up at rafe. he’s got one hand beneath rafe’s shirt now, nails raking over his back.

rafe shudders, wishing he could dissolve every person in this room right this very moment so he can curl up inside barry and make a home there.

“gotta say, ‘m a little jealous, man,” some other guy pipes up from barry’s other side.

rafe looks over at him, one brow arched, finding the guy staring right back as he hits some sort of pipe.

probably filled with meth, based on the state of the guy’s teeth.

classy.

“guess you just gon’ have to be jealous, then,” barry tosses back, not bothering to spare the guy a glance before returning his mouth to rafe’s.

the party comes and goes, faster than rafe anticipated, but that maybe can be attributed to the fact that barry keeps rafe glued to him at all times, practically devouring him every chance he can get, and showing him off to every person who happens to look their way.

rafe will admit, it’s a little satisfying, knowing how proud barry is to have staked his claim. he’s surprised that he’s so okay with barry being so possessive of him, too.

rafe cameron normally does not like the idea of being owned by anyone or anything. at least, he hadn’t up until now.

at this point, he’s pretty sure he’d let barry put a dog collar on him that reads property of barry the coke dealer, without complaint.

now, lounging in barry’s bed, sweat-soaked and panting, rafe sparks a blunt. he takes a long hit and passes it to barry.

“you did this on purpose,” rafe says, knowingly.

barry just grins up at the ceiling like a shark, shrugging as he hits the blunt.

“you’re pretty, rafe cameron. and you’re mine,” barry tells him, passing the weed back. “what’s it hurt to show off a little? you ain’t die or nothing.”

“never said it was a bad thing,” rafe snorts. “just maybe give me a little warning next time you plan to parade me around as your trophy wife.”

“like you ain’t get off on all them people talking ‘bout how jealous they are that i get to have you.”

barry has a point, rafe will admit. not out loud, mind you, but still. in the quiet of his mind, where no one else can hear, he agrees with barry wholeheartedly.

“can you blame them? i mean, look at me,” rafe says with a snooty little sniff, running a hand along his jaw. “you landed yourself a masterpiece. people are gonna notice.”

“you so damn full of yourself, country club,” barry snorts. “imma have to knock that ego down a peg. i been too nice to you.”

“says the guy whose ego grew ten times larger just by being a show-off about his boyfriend.”

barry rolls over onto his side, watching rafe hit the blunt with heavily-lidded eyes. “boyfriend, huh? ain’t we a bit old for that?”

“you literally called me your boyfriend like, fifty times today. do not even- ”

barry shuts him up mid-sentence by taking the blunt from rafe’s hand and putting it out on the ashtray next to the bed, tangling his fingers in rafe’s hair, and pulling him in for a kiss that’s all tongues and teeth.

rafe wanted to finish his sentence, had planned on finishing it, but barry doesn’t give him the chance. not with the way he’s kissing him right now.

within a matter of moments, rafe forgets what he was planning to say in the first place. but whatever, he’s fucking tired, barry feels good and smells good and tastes good. so what if he’s a trophy wife, so what if he may or may not get off on people being jealous that barry gets to date him. to own him.

it’s all arbitrary.

instead of figuring out what he was going to say, rafe breaks away from barry’s lips, fastening his mouth to barry’s neck and biting down.

his teeth sink in deep, and he hopes with everything he has left in him that it leaves a scar.

#rafebarry #outer banks #hope u enjoy! #my fics #ask #goodnightandbillyrobicheaux

[wizkiddx]

was thinking for toms most recent ig story it sounds like hes working out early everyday, what if u did a blurb where the reader does it with his and its like best friend --> something else ? sounded like a you type of story, id love if you gave it a go ❤️💕

oohkay so sorry this lit just came through this evening and I suddenly got v stupidly into it (if u put in a req before that I promise I am working on it I just got way to invested cos this is stupidly cute) xxxx

summary: what starts off as tom taking you under his wing and some sunrise workouts together might just develop into something more

“It shouldn’t be legal…. to be doing anything… this fucking early!” Spoken, well yelled, in between the fake strokes of the exercise bike and your pants. All you got in response was the two men laughing at you, no sign of sympathy at all, as your gritted your teeth - fighting against every body instinct to stop the movements. Your heart was pumping like the clappers; breathing shallow and rushed and your arms… your arms felt like they were about to fall off. Combine that with the lack of sleep from waking up before the sun did at 5 am - meant you felt like your were in literal hell.  

Why ever you’d agreed to do these workouts with Tom and Duffy escaped you. Being the new and rising actress, with a new supporting role in the next Spiderman, meant you’d spent a lot of time with Tom over the past few weeks. Not to inflate his ego either, but Tom had been a real life hero to you. See, you were the complete opposite of his experienced and seasoned professionalism - this was your first acting gig. And what a gig it was, the second biggest part in a Marvel movie. You never really believed you’d get the part and even when you did, were pretty sure it was some elaborate joke, where Ant and Dec were going to jump out from some corner and go ‘ha its a prank!’ or something. 

Yet somehow it was all still happening, you had been flown halfway across the world to spend three months alone on a film set. Well obviously not alone, but you knew no one - you were a complete outsider. That, really, was the reason you’d agreed to do these sessions with Tom. He’d offered half heartedly while between takes as you were moaning about how out of breath you got in that scene. At that point, you’d only known each other for a matter of weeks, he really hadn’t expected you to commit to 5 am each and every morning. What he wasn’t aware of though, was how ocmplerly stranded and lonely you felt here, hence why you jumped at his offer. 

And yes you loved to moan and complain when you were there, however you were also so incredibly thankful he ever offered. Duffy, Tom’s PT, was a right laugh too and he took great joy in torturing you - and was also entertained by the new and inventive ways you’d insult him after he ordered you about. 

“Come on Y/n, 200m more and then we are done, even your little arms can survive that.”

“Really … not the encouragement… I was looking for.” Still panting, face bright red and blotchy as you pressed your legs straight again.

“Tom? You wanna help Y/n out?” 

“Nah you know… kind of enjoying seeing her in pain.” The British voice laughed from somewhere behind you, making you roll your eyes.

“Why the hell… are you not… torturing him?” He sounded way to comfortable and relaxed to be working hard. 

“He’s got a stunt heavy day today so wanted to go easy this morning.”

Now that was a bloody joke. You were BOTH filming the SAME scene today, doing the SAME stunts. 

“Did I forget to mention Y/n is on set too?” The joy in Tom’s voice made you want to do horrible things to him. Even though you felt like you wanted to collapse on the floor, you’d happily do a set or two on a punch bag right now - if that punch bag was Tom’s face. 

Before you could hurl some fresh abuse at your costar, Duffy called time on the rowing machine, turning the display off and passing your water bottle over as you slouched on the slidey seat. 

“Done good Y/n/n, I am actually super impressed with your progress” The stocky man patted you on the back genuinely, bringing a bit of smile to your otherwise grimacing face. He went over the chat to Tom about some boy shit that you couldn’t care less about, allowing you a couple minutes to get your breath back. As soon as you did and tried to dismount the machine of death, your ruined legs seemed to have other plans, shakily buckling so you ended up starfished on the floor, groaning at the dull ache that came with the sudden movement. 

And what show of concern did Duffy show you? A belly laugh that echoed round Toms indoor gym making you groan again, throwing your forearm over your eyes. It was in fact the curly haired brunette, who came and knelt by your side, wordlessly balling up the towel and placing it under your head as you shot your eyes open in shock. 

“You okay? Sorry… I might’ve taken our friendly competition a bit too far.”

“I just… just might have to gain the power of flight this afternoon cos my legs aren’t gonna bloody work.” Tom chuckled and shook his head at your dry humour. 

“Oh I’m sure we can talk to Jon and get that arranged… not like Marvel don’t spend years crafting the script and storyline for a newbie actor to change it all.”

“Might I remind you… they wouldn’t have to if your weren’t such a dickhead!” You exclaimed, sitting up and staring at him with an exasperated look than only made him burst out laughing again. 

“I’m sorry I’m sorry… I just cant take you seriously when you look like such a tomato!” His voice went an octave higher as he laughed at himself, the situation getting even worse for you when you heard Duffy join in too. 

The boy was bloody lucky you couldn’t lift your arms right now, otherwise they’s almost certainly be attempting to ruin his pretty boy face. 

/////////////////////////////

After a long day of shooting you and Tom were in one of the set buggies, being taken back to your trailers to change for the evening. There was a peaceful silence until Tom ruined it yet again.

“ Got any fancy plans for this evening then?”

“Well you know me, back to my lonely little old place and  frozen pizza - so living the movie star life.” 

“It’s a Friday! You not going out with your team or anything?” He sounded so bemused at your quiet plans, and mention of a ‘team’ had you cocking your head to the side. 

“‘My team?’ Tom until I get my movie star pay check I can barely afford my pizzas, never mind a whole persons wage.” You were still only three weeks into filming and although you spent an hour every other morning sweating your ass off with Tom - apart from that you’d tried not to impose yourself on him too much. You didnt want to look clingy and naturally Tom always had a mountain of people vying for his attention - you would go to the back of a long line. So honestly, you were still a bit of a mystery to him, right now you’d both only scratched the surface on each other. 

“Really? I know this is your first big job but I thought you’d have someone here?” 

“Nah… I mean I’ve kinda clung to the Marty on the camera crew but he’s going to see family tonight sooo.”

“Come back to mine. I’ve swapped Harry for his twin Sam, which is a bit of an upgrade cos Sam’s a chef. He just arrived last night. I bet he can one up any pizza you were planning on.”

“Honestly I don’t want to impose, sorry I didnt mean for this to be a pity party or-“ The buggy slowed to a stop and Tom instantly vaulted out of it, standing right infront of you and blocking you exist off the back sofa. Both of you were still in costume, Tom in latex and you in your corset-esque two piece, but then both wrapped in matching long line black jackets supplied by set. 

“No come on I’m serious… Sam’s dying to meet you and it’d be good to spend more time together. You know, cos of chemistry and all.” The last bit was a switch from his cool and smooth, normally easy going tone - into something a bit more… anxious? Just like that, before your brain even knew what it was doing, you agreed, smiling broadly and nodding. 

So barely an hour later, you were knocking on the doors to Tom’s mansion-ish rented Atlanta home which was much much more grand than what the studio had arranged for you. Even though you were here most mornings, this time it felt different. Yeh it was stupid, but you can’t help the way you feel and you were stressed. For no real reason… just, just because. 

Thankfully, it wasn’t awkward at all  and you especially instantly hit it off with his younger brother Sam. Everything just felt easy and simple which meant so much more considering you’d felt so isolated an alone halfway across the world for your home comforts. Being British too, simply chatting to the two young men about your hometown and growing up was just so familiar, it really helped you feel less homesick.  Naturally too,  you’d fallen into a casual and friendly ribbing of Tom with Sam, making the three of you spend to majority of the evening cracking up (or in Tom’s case pouting at the abuse). It was a nice change from the two on one attack you got from Tom and Duffy that morning. You’d all cooked dinner together… well no, you and Tom had stood idly watching Sam cook an amazing chicken curry dish - which he promised to give you the recipe too. Honestly Sam felt like your long lost best friend, especially when it came to your shared ability to berate Tom for anything and everything. 

About an hour ago Tom had stuck on the film, effectively shutting up you and Sam - thankfully for him since Sam was just about to get to some rather embarrassing stories of Tom as a kid. You and Tom were on the longer grey sofa; with Sam sat  the other side of the coffee table in an impressively soft armchair - looking as though it was swallowing the lanky boy. The calm, the silence and the comfort was only going to go one way for you though. After your workout this morning, plus all the running and jumping during the shoot,  after what had already been a pretty intense week, it was hardly surprising that you didn’t even notice yourself drifting off the sleep. 

Who did notice though? Perhaps your brown haired costar who’d been stealing glances across to you ever since the movie had been put on? Because as much as he hated to admit it to himself, this didnt seem to be panning out as a normal job. A normal job is something you put your all into, for a couple weeks, and then leave with good memories and a good pay check. Yes, he had only known your for a matter of weeks or so but it already seemed to be unfathomable to cut ties with you. How would he go without your kind mannered abuse everyday? You were just refreshing, new and mysterious. And Tom was more than intrigued, his interest was peaked. 

And it was stupid to feel like that…. Of course it was. You can’t fancy a colleague because things get complicated and awkward. Tom knew that. 

Then why was he now delicately draping a blanket over your frame and smiling smally when you hummed in your sleep, in what seemed to be a show of appreciation for the layer of warmth? 

Because you were his excited puppy of a costar who is giving everything she has for the job? Because he is worried and wants to look after you? Because he cares? 

No matter why, in that moment you were contented and as was Tom. Oh and Sam? 

Sam saw the tell tale signs in his brother. He saw the way Tom had been touching your arm or the small of your back just a little more than what would be considered normal while he’d been cooking. He’d seen the way Tom had been laughing purely because you had. His eldest brother never did anything rash, it was always a painfully slow process for everyone involved. But Sam thought this just might be the start of something. The start of a slow burn.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tomholland #Tom Holland angst #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland x you #sam holland

[rwdestuffs]

Why Vol 3 works, and Vol 8 doesn’t.

Let’s be real here: Volume 8 tried to capture the same emotions as Volume 3 did. In some ways, it did some things just as well (and in one situation, better), and in others… It did worse. Let’s try going over what went well for each of them and figure out why Volume 8 failed, but Volume 3 succeeded.

Build-Up.

In Volume 3, we got to build up to the main bombshell. We were at a tournament, and in a more friendly and less serious situation. At this point, we are under the impression that our heroes are unbeatable. We know that they’ll triumph over evil, and that they will be able to beat the bad guys, because that’s their track record.

In the tournament setting, we have moments of levity to help break down what goes on. Sure, we get some points of character development, like with Nora dropping the fact that she and Ren are orphans, but insofar, it’s mostly friendly interactions in a sports setting that is amicable.

Volume 8, however, drops us straight into the situation at hand. We barely have enough time to actually process anything that happened, and because so many characters that were previously separated are now suddenly together, the suspense of them reuniting is ruined. Imagine if team RWBY had to fight their way through a bunch of Atlas troops to try to reunite with JN_R. Imagine if Oscar had to trek all the way to the last place he and the rest of the group were at, fighting Grimm and atlas drones, while trying to help people along the way. This is what people in the rwde tag mean when they say that “Volume 8 should have been two volumes.” These teams being separated and then having to work together to reunite is suspenseful. In fact, this could have taken about half or even a quarter of the volume. But instead, it happens instantly, ruining any kind of suspense.

The plan.

In volume 3, there really isn’t a plan. And that’s because the main focus was to try to build up to the “Wait, what?” moment. We actually get shades of grey within our mentor characters. Oz literally gives Pyrrha the ultimatum of “Give up your dreams and become the Fall Maiden for us, or the bad guys win.” Don’t lie, that’s basically the gist of that whole thing. The main plot is focused on trying to build up tension so that when it snaps, everything feels intense.

This is why Yang not having her Yellow Trailer actions be brought up as evidence that she’d attack Mercury out of nowhere was such a missed opportunity. The tension that comes with the idea that Yang would have very much attacked out of nowhere wasn’t something that could come out of nowhere, it’s something that should have been brought up. Overall, we have some major problems, but it’s also jarring that her team just up and believes her.

Volume 3 also has the benefit of the main characters not knowing about the overarching big bad. The reason why this is a good thing is that it gives the characters breathing room to think that “This is just like the breach. We’ll work together, beat it, and things will go back to normal after.”

Volume 8… Doesn’t have any of that. Now, admittedly, it comes right after the major bombshells of Volume 7, but the overall problem is that this show seems to have an issue with continuity like that. The major problem of Volume 8 is that a bunch of characters have a plan, but that plan conflicts with others. Some of them want to try and stop Ironwood, some of them want to rescue civilians, some of them want to break out of prison to confront Ironwood, and one of them wants to leave the rest of the world to fend on their own faster than Raven  wanted to back in Volume 5. And when you’re more quick to leave the rest of the world out to dry more than Raven, then you know that there’s a problem.

So, Volume 8 had the team separate into different groups. And this is honestly a good idea. It gives the characters time to develop without others that they’re more used to. The downside is that they… Don’t really do that. At best, we see Ren develop his superpower more so that the writers don’t have to use body language or dialogue to explain certain characters’ emotions.

We get some really great development for Penny and Nora though, which I greatly appreciate. But Blake and Ruby don’t really develop themselves. Blake ends up being Ruby’s hypewoman and jobs at a Grimm that she begs an unconscious Ruby to save her from. Blake ultimately regresses in this situation. Unlike Volume 3, where we see her fighting on par with other hunters and even holding her own against Adam for a short while, Blake’s fighting abilities have gone downhill. And Ruby isn’t allowed to question her own leadership skills yet again. Having a character question their own abilities is one of the best ways to have that character develop, and the writers… Don’t seem to want to do it.

The best thing to come out of this whole thing was that Oscar managed to get Hazel and Emerald to really question the real reason why they’re on the side that they are. Is this inherently good?- Not necessarily. It does make for some interesting means though. As it establishes that Hazel’s motives are because he feels that Oz dragged his sister into an unwinnable war, and that this sort of lack of information is what led people to distrust Oz in the first place. But it also means that Hazel doesn’t give his sister any autonomy for herself. While I would very much have preferred the idea that Oz ended up reducing his sister to a statistic, this was honestly a really great moment for Hazel.

And Emerald is offered genuine kindness, and a chance to do better with her life. Contrast with Cinder, who while she justifiably killed her abusers and the justifiably killed the cop who was going to turn her in for retaliating against her abusers, Emerald was given a shot at doing better. Maybe this will be done again in the future when Cinder (hopefully) blows up at the heroes at how they care more about their precious “order” than they do about the people who suffered under said “order” and we can actually have some progress in society. But Volume 8 doesn’t seem to want to have a plan like that.

Penny’s Death.

Penny’s death in Volume 3 works in several ways. For one, it’s a death that absolutely cannot happen off-screen. We have to see Pyrrha manslaughter Penny in order for a lot of the overall narrative to work, and to have the major conflict kick off with an intense roar. There is a lot of major emotions going on, and while I would have loved for Ruby to have conflicting feelings about Pyrrha in the later volumes after that death, we didn’t get it, but we can infer that she somewhat figured out that she was tricked into accidentally killing Penny.

But in Volume 8… It comes at the hands of Jaune. After so much effort was put into keeping Penny alive, she ends up dying. Now admittedly, this sort of effort being all for naught would be heartbreaking… If literally anyone else had been the one to do the mercy killing. I’ve said this multiple times before, but Ruby, Nora, Winter, or even Emerald would have had a significantly bigger impact had they been the ones to mercy kill Penny. 

While Volume 3 had Pyrrha doing it after having the weight of the world dropped on her shoulders and being tricked by Emerald’s semblance (sidenote: Why the hell wasn’t there any precautions to stop outside interference?), Volume 8 had Penny’s death come at the hands of Jaune after Jaune… Boosted Penny’s aura that one time. The suspicion that Jaune will hog the despair from Penny’s death in the upcoming volume notwithstanding, Pyrrha’s accidental murder of Penny being contrasted with her desperately trying to fight off Cinder later on, and her subsequent defeat and death ultimately makes the whole thing a massive tragedy.

Ending.

Overall, Volume 8 wasn’t horrible. I do want to emphasize that. But the overall pacing tried too hard to be Volume 3 when it should have been trying to be Volume 8. Characters were hurt for no reason other than shock value, and other characters ended up being shafted for no reason other than “the plot demands it.”

Volume 3 ended on a sliver of hope. The idea that there are people out there who would want to do good. And while Volume 8 also has a bit of that, it ends on the team being separated, again. Something that was the thing that everyone absolutely despised about Volume 4 was that the characters were separated. But more than that, people also hated that the characters barely acknowledged each other. Hell! In the Volume 4 opening, literal worst character to have ever been conceived in this show jaune arc was given more emphasis than actual main character Ruby Rose for reasons that I will never understand. Given the track record of jaune “I refused to take ‘no’ for an answer” arc hogging the spotlight and angst-based development, people are legitimately afraid that Miles’ pet will do it again. This track record didn’t exist in Volume 3 or 4. So people had no reason to be afraid of jaune hogging the spotlight to himself then. They do now, however.

#rwde

[illfoandillfie]

5 Simple Rules For A Successful Fake Relationship: Ben’s POV

5 SIMPLE RULES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: 14 scenes told from Ben's Perspective.

Warnings: A whole lotta angst and badly handled feelings. swearing, drinking, a little bit of smut/masturbation (18+) basically everything from the other chapters but from Ben’s side lmao

Words: 22 790 (oh god im sorry, but all the sections are separated so you don’t have to read it in one hit!)

A/N: I know it's like super duper late but here is the final chapter of this series that I promised! Basically just a collection of blurbs (maybe a few oneshot length parts too) that tell the story from the other side. Some are his point of view of things that occurred in the main chapters, some fill in gaps that reader wasn't around for. 

I had a lot of fun writing from a perspective I don't normally write from! It was a bit of a challenge at times but definitely something I'd like to do again.

Taglist: @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @taron-egrotten @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies

@coni-martina @hardforbenhardy @cubedtriangle @vicouscirce @arianabrashierstuff @pattieboydwannabe @maggieroseevans @theprettyandthereckless @friccinfricks​ 

“Pick up Joe, pick up,” Ben mumbled to himself, pacing around his trailer. The phone rang out and he let out a grunt of annoyance as he switched to text message.

I fucked up. Call me.

It was an anxious ten-minute wait in which Ben found it hard to sit still or focus on anything other than what a colossal mistake he’d made. He tried to go over his lines instead, tried to focus on the next scene you’d be filming together but all he could think about was you. You and how badly he’d fucked up. Finally Joe put him out of his misery. “Thank Christ,” “Sorry I was asleep,” a yawning Joe said from the other end of the line, “What happened that you needed to contact me at 6am?” “I said yes,” “To?” “Joe, I know it’s early for you but please try to keep up. I said yes.” There was a pause as Joe tried to work out what Ben meant and then realisation dawned, “Nooooo,” “Yes. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking. Oh my god,” Joe groaned, sympathetic, “You said yes? To the fake dating schtick?” “I wasn’t going to,” “I should fucking hope not. After everything we talked about yesterday? After we agreed it was a horrible idea?” “I know! I know,” Ben had to pause to gulp in a breath, his chest suddenly feeling too tight to handle the oxygen, “I was going to say no. I came in with a plan to say no and it was on the tip of my tongue for the entire meeting. They were going through these pages explaining it all and all of the rules we’d have to follow and I was ready to say no, I was going to say no,” “So what happened?” Ben flopped down onto his couch, the one he liked to nap on when time allowed, running his hand through his hair as he spoke, “I looked over at her and my mind clouded over and I said yes,” “Did she ask you to?” “Nope. I think she knew what I was thinking through the whole thing, she seemed shocked when I agreed to it. Fuck, why did I say yes?” “Cause you’re a fucking idiot.” “You can say that again,” “I could but I won’t.” Joe exhaled slowly into the receiver, “Jesus man,” “Yup. You wanna know the worst part though?” “Agreeing to it wasn’t the worst part?” “I’m not totally disappointed,” “Ben,” Joe sounded mildly horrified so Ben hurried to explain. “I mean, I know it’s bad. I know there were a thousand ways to better handle it...sticking to the plan and asking her out after we wrapped being the least of them. But...I have date ideas picked out already. There’s this wine and art place she’d love and the ice-skating rink and I’d love to take her to that Chinese restaurant near me. And I’m kind of happy I have an excuse to look at her now, touch her. I don’t have to worry about if she’s caught me staring or if I’m doing a bad job of hiding my feelings because everyone’s going to think we’re dating anyway so what’s the fucking harm,” “Alright Ben, I’m gonna stop you there. You need to get this shit under control. I suggest going to a bar, getting drunk, and getting into the pants of the first girl who talks to you.” “Can’t,” “Oh don’t give me that bullshit. You’re not so hung up on this Y/N chick that you can’t think about sleeping with someone else, are you?” “Doesn’t matter, I literally can’t unless I want everyone to think I’m cheating on her. Don’t think that’d go down well with the studio or anyone else really. They’d crucify me for fucking up the plan after less than a day.” “Would you have followed my advice even if that wasn’t the case?” Ben mad a non-committal noise, “Probably not. I just want her,” “Doesn’t she have a boyfriend? I distinctly remember you whining about a boyfriend.” “Apparently it was never that serious. He was boring.” “You’re boring too Ben. Hate to break it to you but you’re dull, unexciting, tedious. She’s not going to want to date you either. Might as well give up now,” “Have you got a thesaurus sitting in your lap?” Joe laughed despite himself, “I thought this was going to be a crush Ben. Short lived.” “Me too. It’s not though. I can’t get her out of my mind. When I’m with her I don’t want to leave and then when I have to leave all I can think about is when I’ll next see her. She’s so wonderful and beautiful and kind-hearted. She likes pulling faces at me from behind the camera and she’s got the cutest laugh…When she’s nervous about a scene she bounces her leg. Every time. And she’s so sweet to everyone on set, always chatting with whoever is around and making jokes and stuff. I want to make her laugh. I want to calm her when she’s nervous. I want her.” “Maybe you should just tell her how you feel now. I know you wanted to wait until after the movie but I think that horse has bolted,” “I can’t tell her now, are you insane? If I tell her now she’ll call up her agent and cancel the whole fake dating thing and she’ll never want to see me again,” “Maybe she wants to date you too,” “Nope. She literally said to me she wouldn’t date me in real life,” Ben paused, thinking, “d’you reckon there’s a chance she might fall for me too? Like, with the whole pretending to date thing? Maybe I could convince her I’d be a good boyfriend,” “Don’t get your hopes up Ben,” “You’re right. She’s not going to change her mind about me. We’re friends and that’s it. And I’ve just gotta focus on finishing this movie and getting through the whole relationship without her figuring anything out.” “I don’t envy you, buddy.”

                                                       ***

It took Ben a few moments of lying in the dark to remember why he felt so nervous first thing in the morning. But the waiting message from Peter about what time the photographer would arrive was enough to remind him. He lay there a little longer, trying to prepare himself for everything, trying to convince himself that seeing you first thing in the morning would be enough of a turn off to stop him from feeling the way you made him feel. It didn’t work, the convincing or the seeing you. If anything, seeing you yawning as you left his spare room just made it all the worse. You, in his pyjamas. It made his stomach flip. He found it hard to pull his eyes from you as you drank your coffee, found it hard to not enjoy the sight of you in his pyjamas in his kitchen. You’d never been there before but you didn’t feel out of place. He could imagine other mornings, making pancakes together, you with a spot of batter on your nose that he’d wipe away and replace with a kiss, or else making you the first tea or coffee of the day and bringing it to you in bed, snuggling under the covers with you, your head resting on his chest as you talked quietly about whatever was happening that day. But planning out how you’d look for the camera was a sharp reminder that it wasn’t real, that you were only there because of work.

“And, um, he was very careful in how he worded it, but they want us to look like we fucked. Also I told them I’d take you home so there may be someone waiting for us there too, he never got back to me on it.” “Shit, okay. Umm, guess I’ll just wear this then?” he watched as you indicated the pyjamas you’d borrowed, his pyjamas, “might lose the pants though, help sell it a bit more.” “Yeah, guess so,” Ben had to clear his throat and avert his eyes, terrified that you’d be able to see what he was thinking, willing himself to stop thinking about helping you out of them. “What time is it?” He glanced at the oven, thankful to have even the smallest of diversions, “Twenty past eight,” “God I haven’t been up this early on a weekend in months.” “Not one for farmers markets or anything then?” This was a better topic. Boring, safe. “Not really. Much prefer lying in bed doing nothing.” Shit, “Me too,” he laughed, trying not to imagine you in his bed in just his shirt (fuck the pants they were too big for you anyway). “We’re meant for each other,” Ben took another sip of coffee to keep from groaning. You had no idea what you were doing to him and he wasn’t going to be the one to tell you. Not now at any rate. He’d killed any chance of anything happening when he’d agreed to this stunt and now he had to suck it up and deal with it. “Did you want to have a shower or anything?” “Nah, you can if you want though,” “Might as well wait until I get home. But I am gonna clean my teeth, especially if we have to kiss.” Jesus, the kiss, he’d almost forgotten about that, “Maybe mess up your hair too, make it look like you didn’t sleep much.” This is dangerous territory. “Well how could I when you’re such a good lover,” Oh god oh god oh god, “I know you’re joking but if anyone asks, I’m incredible. You came like three times,” “Did I now?” “Of course,” “Good thing no one’s gonna ask then, don’t think I’m great at lying,” Ben wanted to stop, wanted to switch back to talking about farmers markets and breakfast options but he didn’t seem to have control over himself anymore, “Besides, it’s not really a lie, I am that good. You just haven’t experienced it personally.” You poked your tongue out at him as you turned back towards the bathroom. As soon as he heard the door shut Ben collapsed forward against the kitchen counter, leaning on his palms as he grappled with what had just happened. He’d need to keep his wits about him from now on. Flirting like that couldn’t happen again, he’d been lucky that you'd treated it like friendly banter. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to drown out the voice that suggested you’re lack of awareness was proof of how disinterested you were. It was only when he heard the bathroom door swing open again that he forced himself to move.

“How do I look?” you asked as you re-entered the room. Can’t avoid looking at her now, she wants your opinion, “Gorgeous.” It was true. Everything you’d done to make yourself look like you’d had a late night just made you even more desirable. The messed up hair, the smudge of makeup around your eyes. He gulped when he noticed the undone buttons of the flannel shirt, just enough to tease, and the missing pants. Tell her you want to pin her to the wall and undo the rest of those buttons. Tell her you want to wake up to that sight every morning. “But do I look like I’ve been thoroughly fucked?” “Oh, right, ummm,” he gave you another cursory look, trying not to linger on any part of you for too long, “yes, I think so,” “I feel like there’s something missing,” suddenly you turned on your heel and stepped back towards the bathroom. Ben waited where you’d left him until, “Oh! I know. Might be taking it a bit far though.” Clearly he was supposed to be part of this conversation, so he followed you to the doorway, stepped just over the threshold, “What is it?” You were scrutinising your appearance in the mirror and he let himself watch your reflection, “what if you gave me a hickey?” Ben’s breath caught in his throat though he managed to stutter out your name. “Yeah, I know, that’s a weird thing to ask. Don’t worry, I think we’ll be fine without it,” He inhaled deeply wondering if your backtracking was a sign that you’d worked out what was going on in his head. He couldn’t let that happen. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to give you a love bite, though he’d prefer to be covering you in them. Slowly, he let the breath go again, “no, you’re right. A hickey will definitely make it look more authentic,”

“It’s not totally inappropriate for me to ask?” Babe this whole thing is inappropriate, “No, no, we have to make it look legit. Here, I’ll uhhh,” With another, less than steady, breath, he stepped behind you, close enough that you were practically leaning against him. His heart began to beat faster, his stomach did summersaults. Carefully he wrapped his arm around your waist to steady himself, pull you closer, as he pushed your hair to the side. He glanced at your reflection, waiting for you to stop him, to notice his shaky fingers and burning skin and to jump away from him. But you didn’t. You let him lean in, let him press his lips to your neck, let him mark you. He felt your own breath speed up, felt you tilt your head, inviting more. And then. It was only a small hum, but it had definitely come from you. He glanced at the mirror again, saw you had your eyes shut. You liked it. He was giving you a hickey and you were enjoying it. This might be his only chance to do that, to make you feel that way. He refocused on your neck, where his lips met your skin, soothing the fresh brand with his tongue. He could happily have given you ten more, was tempted to go in for a second at least. Instead he let you go, stepped backwards as quickly as he could manage. If he waited too long he’d end up saying something he’d regret. “Will that do?” “It’s great Ben really ties the whole look together,” He tried to match your smile though it felt like there was a warning siren going off in his head, “Good. Good. Okay then, I’ll umm, what time is it?” “Just after nine. Wonder if the photographer is here yet,” “I think I will jump in for that shower actually, by the time I’m done he will definitely be here,” he needed some time to compose himself before he even thought about stepping outside the door with you, “Make yourself comfortable though, watch some TV or something.” “Alright. Thanks for being so cool about all this. I know you’re a little sceptical about the benefits and everything.” “It’s fine Y/N, no need for any of that,” he forced another smile as you left but the moment you’d pulled the door shut it slipped again. Slowly he made his way to the tap, splashed his face with cold water. His fingers still tingled where they’d rested against you. The echo of your hum was stuck in his head. Your perfume still lingered in the air. “Fuck,” Ben directed the curse at his reflection, unsure any other word could sum up better than that. The fact that you didn’t want him was fucked, having you here looking the part of the perfect girlfriend was fucked, giving you a hickey for the performance was fucked. And the fact that he was sporting a semi from it was really just the cherry on top of his totally fucked sundae. He couldn’t go back out to you in such a state, especially not when you were going to have to make out for the camera. A shower to relieve himself was the only answer, though he felt bad about you being only a couple of rooms over.

With a final prayer that you wouldn’t overhear or work out why he’d changed his mind about the shower, he turned the taps on and began undressing, wincing a little as he stuck his arm under the scalding hot water. With some adjustment he was able to fully step into the shower, pausing for a moment to relax under the steady beat of the water before reaching for the soap. Of course, you were on his mind as he wrapped his hand around his cock and slowly started stroking himself. The way you looked in his shirt, the swell of your breasts just barely exposed, tantalisingly so. The hem of the shirt draped over your bare thighs. You’d make such a sight dressed like that, lying in his bed, the sheets tangled around your legs. Better still his legs tangled between yours. He thought of the hum you made as he’d sucked at your throat. On the verge of a whine, maybe even a moan. Would you whine if his lips were on your chest instead? What about your thighs, leaving a trail up to… His breathing was faster now, hand moving at a similar speed. We’re made for each other. Your voice, your words. You’d say it, half pant it, while he was inside you. Made for each other. And you’d hum that hum of pleasure. Your thighs, under his shirt. His arm wrapped around your waist, holding you close as he pulled your hair aside. What if you gave me a hickey?  The warmth of your body leaning against his, such a contrast to the cool bathroom tiles. That hum. Those thighs. The way you say his name. Made for each other. Your lingering perfume. Your lingering warmth. Your lingering hum. His name on your tongue. He bit his lip to keep from making any sound as he came onto the floor of the shower. It took Ben a few moments to right his breathing, eyes pressed shut so he could hold onto the fantasy for just a little longer. But he knew he didn’t have the time. At least you get to kiss her again. He rushed through washing his hair, scrubbing himself clean. As he stepped out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and swiped his palm over the fogged-up mirror. He forced himself to smile, tried to make it seem natural but that just made it feel more fake. Maybe you wouldn’t notice. With a final exhale he left the bathroom, heading towards his bedroom to find some clean clothes. Your laugh cut through the mostly quiet house. Something on the tv, a cartoon by the sounds of it, had made you laugh and Ben couldn’t help but smile for real at the sound. It made it all seem worth it. 

                                                      ***

It had been a bit of an odd week. Everyone at work knew about the relationship and Ben had found himself set upon by well meaning set dressers and ADs who were curious to know when it had started and how they’d kept it such a secret because “seriously Ben, no one suspected anything.” That was nothing to his friends though, who were shocked he’d never brought it up even in passing and who demanded to know when they could meet this secret girlfriend of his. “Someone’s gotta tell her about the time you pissed your pants at the fair,” “I was seven and had drunk a lot of coke,” “Excuses, excuses. What’s your excuse for never mentioning her before?” “I thought we were going to play FIFA, not talk about my love life,” “We were but that was before we all saw your girlfriend’s arse online,” “You can’t see her arse in that shot,” “Near enough. And we can definitely see the giant fucking hickey on her neck. Now explain yourself,” “Alright mum,” Ben shook his head, “I mean, you know I don’t normally date people I work with. Neither does she. We both wanted to give our selves some time to see if it worked, to make sure what we thought we were feeling was legit and not on screen emotions carrying over or anything like that.” “Well it looks legit judging by photos,” “Shut up,” Ben sighed, rolling his eyes, “I actually really like her,” “Hey, I have a question. When the fuck have you been seeing this chick? Because your down time is spent with us.” “Oh, umm, y’know, after work and stuff. I don’t spend all of my time with you guys,” “Uhhh beg to disagree,” Ben tried to keep his tone normal though his heart was racing. If they figured it out now it could all be over, “Fuck off I have a life outside of you. And just because I was hanging with you guys in the evening doesn’t mean I didn’t see her earlier in the day.” “Nooners?” “Lunch dates.” “Uh huh. Okay, lunch dates. She’s a good shag though, right?” “Oh yeah, fucking….great shag,” “You gotta give us more than that mate,” “Sure, okay, but first can one of you kill me,” “Boooooo,” Ben laughed as he was pelted with crisps, “I’m so going to kick all your arses, now hand me a controller.”

The week had also brought him a copy of your rules. He’d taped the sheet to the bottom of his sock draw where no one else was likely to see it but he could still have a daily reminder that none of it was real. Being around you made it easy to forget you weren’t actually his girlfriend, the lines between friendly banter and flirty teasing becoming too blurred. Of course, he also had Joe reminding him to keep his head straight. He’d called after he saw the morning-after photos. The conversation had started with Joe calling Ben a moron but quickly shifted into Ben ranting for close to an hour because he’d, that morning, heard all about the conversation with Felicity and how you’d spent so long talking up his prowess. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or scream. “Is this some kind of punishment? Did I do something completely fucked up in a past life and now I’m paying for it?” “Maybe. Or maybe it’s a lesson on why you don’t agree to something because a pretty girl smiles at you.” “Oh bugger off, you’re absolutely no help,” “Well what do you want me to do?” “I don’t know.” “I could talk to her for you.” “Mate, that’s you’re worst idea yet.” “When’s the date?” “This Saturday.” “Just keep reminding yourself you’re there as friends. Don’t get sucked in by the act.” “I’m trying.” Easier said than done, especially when he’d had the date planned for a solid few months. Not officially of course, but in the back of his head. You and him and a bottle of wine as you sat close together and painted. When he imagined the date you wore a sun dress and decorated your canvas or plate, or whatever it was he pictured that time, with little hearts and lipstick kisses. He’d make you laugh with some kind of joke and you’d lean your forehead on his shoulder. Everyone else would melt away as you looked up at him, still smiling. And you’d say something about how you should have realised you loved him sooner. “Because I do, Ben, I love you,” Which is when he’d kiss you, softly.

Ben shook his head to clear it, focusing back on the script in his hand, though you’d soon distracted him again. The real you, not the fantasy date one. The one who was bouncing her knee and staring off into space. He gently touched your shoulder, “Hey, are you okay?” “Huh?” “You’re jiggling your leg a lot which you only do when something’s worrying you, what is it?” “Oh, nothing,” He didn’t believe you, “Is it about our date tonight?” “What if it’s bad? What if we don’t look like we’re actually together and Mary and Pete have to cancel the whole thing?” What a blessing that would be. I might actually be able to get over you. I could stop imaging you in my bed, “I’d get a decent night sleep not thinking about us,” “What?” Shit. He hadn’t meant to say that last bit out loud, “I’ve been worried about it too.” You nodded, your leg twitching as if gearing up to bounce again. “But I think we’ll be okay. It’s not like we’ll be starved for conversation and we’ll have the paint and the wine and we’ll be fine. Plus, weren’t you the one who said this would be easy?” “Yeah I was, but-” “No buts. It’ll be a piece of cake,” Ben didn’t necessarily believe it himself, or at least not for himself. He was going to struggle. But you didn’t have any underlying feelings to fight. For you it really was just a good time painting, “they’ll get whatever shots they get, and they’ll spin it so we look like a couple,” “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry,” “It’s okay,” before he could stop himself he’d reached for your hand, rubbing the back of it. He wanted to do more, to hold you tight and tell you it would be okay. But that would be too much. Instead he rubbed your hand and tried to distract you, “I’m honestly so much more nervous about shooting that scene tomorrow.” “The one where we’re playing matchmaker?” “Yes! Have you seen how many names are in there?” “Theres like six, Ben,” “Yeah but they’re all repeated, and I know I’m going to get the order wrong,” You laughed. It was the best sound in the world and he was determined to make sure he heard it again on your date.

It took Ben an hour to decide on an outfit. He’d had one set aside but looking at it in the mirror it felt too dressy, he needed something more casual. He paused for a calming smoke and then had to brush his teeth again. On set he chewed gum after a smoke, especially if there were kissing scenes, out of politeness more than anything. But the small part of him that hoped you were treating the date as an audition for the roll of real-life boyfriend worried that it would hurt his chances if he tasted like cigarettes. Assuming you’d kiss. So he brushed his teeth again and changed into an outfit he didn’t hate and then worried that he was overthinking it and should have gone with his first outfit, and needed another smoke. Which meant he had to brush his teeth a third time. It took all his willpower to not ask the uber to pull over so he could have another quick puff. But then he was at your place and you were there and he wasn’t panicking anymore. Maybe it was because you looked jittery and nervous and something in his brain overrode his own anxiety to ease yours, or maybe you just had that effect on him. Whatever the reason it meant he could focus on helping you relax. “D’you wanna grab something to eat?” He was nearly positive you hadn’t eaten yet, too anxious. “Uhh, s’pose so,” “Has anyone ever told you you’re indecisive?” “I swear I’m not normally.” “Oh? Do I make you nervous, snookum?” Ben inwardly groaned. When the fuck did snookum become a thing? Why won’t you stop me Y/N? Please god stop me from flirting with you!  It was a relief when he made it to the McDonalds without any more slip ups and he could focus on his food and encouraging you to eat yours. He felt things were going well as you walked hand in hand through the bottle shop. He’d squeeze your hand if he felt you tensing up, make you laugh again, distract you. But then you had nudged him and pointed out the photographer. “Relax, he’s not important,” he said softly, pulling you into his side, trying to keep his own breathing even. Your face had paled at the sight of the camera, and Ben was hit by an overwhelming urge to protect you. He kept you as close as he could, soothed you as best he could. It became easier once you’d reached the shop and could get lost among the other couples and groups of friends, though he caught you checking for the photographer through the glass of the shop front. Ben hesitated for half a second before he turned your head towards him, “Forget the photographer Forget Mary and Peter. Forget our arrangement. We’re just two friends having a fun night out, okay?” This wasn’t the carefree date he’d been fantasising about for months. But he held out hope it still could be. If only he could make you see it. He opened the wine, talked about the art options, anything to distract you from the world outside of the shop. You took a little to warm up but he was glad to see you looking around the room as he went to collect your blank ceramics, taking everything in, and soon enough you were both contemplating designs for mugs, the photographer and the reason for the date seemingly forgotten.

Ben’s hope grew with each passing minute. The longer you were there, the more at ease you became. He got to hear your laugh again, frequently. And the conversation flowed naturally as each of you concentrated on your artwork. The design came to him quickly and he went slow, trying to make his lines as straight as possible and trying to make the engagement ring look like the one you’d spent so much of the shoot wearing. We’re really good at this dating thing. Part encouragement to help when you got nervous, part wishful thinking perhaps. But it was a quote from the movie so you wouldn’t read too far into it. He couldn’t wait to see your reaction to the mug and, as soon as he was done, announced it. “Alright, show me then,” Ben watched closely as you examined the still wet design, chewing on his lip as he tried not to care if you cared that the lines weren’t totally straight or the colours didn’t work. But as soon as you realised what the quote was you smiled. He found himself grinning as you told him how much you loved it. “Thought it was kind of fitting. Plus, it’ll be a nice little souvenir once the movie wraps.” “That was a fun scene to shoot. Best proposal I’ve ever had,” Ben turned the mug back towards himself, double checking for any flaws. He wanted it to be perfect for you, “Best proposal I’ve ever given.” He was on the verge of adding, “My real one will be better though,” but stopped himself short. That would lead to a topic of conversation he didn’t want to deal with. Not with you. Not now. He was a little surprised as you leaned in close and lowered your voice. “Promise I’ll get to keep it after we break up?” “Promise,” he said leaning closer as well. From the outside you must look like a proper couple, whispering sweet nothings as you ignored the rest of the room. His eyes darted to your lips. Kiss her. He could, couldn’t he? He could get away with it. That was what you were there for, to be a couple, to have photos taken of intimate moments. No one would question it if he just closed the gap, not even you. But he hesitated too long, the shriek of laughter from another table interrupting the moment. He leaned back in his seat, trying to put some distance between you before he lost his head again, “So do I get to see mine?”

Ben was nearly speechless when you did eventually let him see it. The guitar with the lyrics beside it. He couldn’t have stopped from smiling even if he’d wanted to. “And how did you know that’s one of my favourite songs?” “It is? It’s just the song I overheard you playing that one time.” That one time. A few weeks previous. Between scenes, as he’d waited for the cameras to be organised around the new set. He hadn’t meant for anyone to hear him, least of all you. But he’d been starting to feel tense and wanted to unwind before filming resumed so he’d gone back to his trailer and taken out his guitar. It was a song he’d always liked but he’d been listening to it more often since meeting you and it was the song his fingers had begun to play without him realising. Now here it was, on the mug you’d painted for him. And you had no idea that when he sang about the stun gun lullaby, he was singing about your laugh, or that you so completely had his attention that no other woman could compare. The song might have been written for someone else but whenever he heard it, it was you being sung about. Was that a sign to not give up hope? His heart ached with how much he wished you loved him the same. Fuck, love? He’d never let himself think the L word before, that was serious shit. But it fit. He was hopelessly in love with you and there didn’t seem like there was much he could do to change the situation.

                                                      ***

Ben looked up from his laptop to see you, brows furrowed, digging through your bag. “Something wrong?” he asked as you pulled your lips between your teeth, worrying at it absentmindedly, in what he had to admit was an adorable fashion. “Uhh, I think I need to go home,” “How come? If you forgot something I have a replacement here. What was it sunnies? Chapstick? A book?” “No, it’s not that sort of-” “Then what? You already have a toothbrush and PJs here,” “No it’s something else... I just think I’d be more comfortable at home today,” Ben tried to keep his voice steady but his mind was whirring with the possible reasons for your sudden wish to leave. Did you know about his secret? “Well a-are you sure I can’t help. We’re meant to be seen together this afternoon and if we leave now they won’t be able to get a shot of us smooching,” You chuckled at his word choice and he found it hard to repress his smile. “I’ll apologise to Mary and Peter, tell them something came up and see if we can reschedule,” “Are you positive there isn’t anything I can do?” You shook your head slightly, “if you really must know my period is a little early and I don’t have any tampons on me. Happy?” “Oh,” he began to laugh at your slight embarrassment, more relieved than embarrassed himself, “is that all?  Y/N, you’re not the first girlfriend I’ve had, fake or not. I’m a 29 year old man I can deal with talking about periods, and I can certainly run to the shop for you,” “No, no, you don’t have to go out of your way like that. I’ve got plenty at home I just didn’t think I’d need any today,” ““Y/N, I promise, it’s no trouble. I feel bad I don’t have anything here for you already. Been a while since I’ve lived with a girl and it didn’t even cross my mind. Seriously, it’ll take me two minutes.” You didn’t look convinced, eyeing the doorway to the hall. “Plus, if I go we won’t ruin Peter and Mary’s plan for today. And the Paps can get a shot of me staring at boxes of tampons like a good caring boyfriend. It’ll help our image.” You hesitated a moment longer, “oh alright, as long as you don’t mind,”

It took Ben two minutes to collect his shoes and wallet and car keys and then he was out the door, assuring you he’d be as quick as possible. On his way out he saw the photographer, getting into position by his front gate. He shot Ben a questioning look at the detour from the set plan as Ben hopped into his car. As he reversed out of the driveway he caught the photographer’s attention. “Making a run to the shop to pick up something for Y/N. Might be a good photo in it,” Ben felt odd talking to the man – a man who he recognised well enough, who had witnessed every intimate moment he’d shared with you (and who had been the catalyst for a number of them), but a man he knew next to nothing about. But he hoped that by leading the photographer away he was ensuring you’d have a peaceful respite from the constant intrusion of knowing you were being watched. The photographer nodded, replaced the lens on his camera and headed to his own car, following Ben to the closest supermarket. The distraction of communicating with the photographer was almost enough to make Ben stop kicking himself for not being more prepared for this eventuality. It was only once he was at the store, standing in front of a shelf of feminine hygiene products that he was truly side-tracked from his lack of foresight, and realised he had no idea what you wanted. You picked up your mobile on the third ring. “Hey, it’s Ben, what do you want?” “Don’t tell me you forgot already,” “No, I mean, what sort. There’s hundreds of boxes to choose from, I have no idea which brand you like or what, um…strength you need.” “Oh,” you laughed and described what your go to brand’s packaging looked like. He scoured the shelves, trying to block out the snap of a phone camera as the photographer got his shot. “Ah, got it,” he said as he finally located the right one, pulling down a box for you now and one to keep in his bathroom for future use, “see you in a few.” “Thanks Ben,” “It’s nothing,” he refrained from closing the call with a love you, instead just saying, “Part of the boyfriend package.” On his way back towards the register he detoured into the tea and coffee isle, picking out a box of herbal tea bags that said For Women on the box, hoping they’d sooth whatever cramps you were dealing with, and then grabbed a box of chocolates in case you wanted something sweet to snack on. The photographer was outside already, waiting to get a shot of him leaving with a full bag. 

It made Ben’s heart swell to see how grateful you were for his haul. He went to the kitchen to make you a tea and himself a coffee as you ducked into the bathroom. “Did you find the Panadol?” he asked, rattling the box of painkillers as you joined him in the lounge. “Yeah, thanks. I took two but I might need more in a few hours, if I’m still here. I’ll buy you a new box if I use too many,” “Don’t be daft. How are you feeling?” “Yeah fine. A few cramps but it’s nothing.” “Do you want a cuddle?” he asked without thinking. “What?” Ben shrugged, “I don’t know, my ex said that cuddling up with me made her feel better. But that’s a different- she probably said it so she had an excuse to make out a bit,” You laughed, “a cuddle would actually be very welcome right now,” “Oh, well in that case,” Ben shuffled over, patting the space beside him, and tried to remember that you weren’t really dating. But he couldn’t stop himself from pulling you tight against him and breathing deeply.

                                                      ***

Ben wasn’t drunk. Not properly so anyway. He was too much of a chatty drunk to trust himself when he was sloshed. He’d had enough to loosen up and to dull the ache he felt whenever he looked at you. And to leave his keys at the bar. Nothing a glass of water and some TV couldn’t fix. He’d lost himself in the show when his phone dinged, nearly jumping at the unexpected noise. It was a text from Joe.

WTF?

It took Ben a few seconds to work out what it referred to but then the afternoon came back to him, the last scene you’d filmed, the photo he’d posted. Shit. “Ah, shit. Forgot I said I’d call Joe. Do you mind if we pause the ep?” he cast around for a reasonable excuse, “We’re trying to organise travel stuff for him and it’s easier if we talk it through rather than texting it all.” “Sure,” you said, already pressing buttons on the remote. “I promise I won’t be long,” “Take your time, it’s fine.” Ben smiled though it slipped as he left the room and pulled up Joe’s number. He shut the door of the room he used when he stayed over, already sure this would not be a conversation he’d want you to overhear. “What the fuck is that photo Ben?” “It’s nothing,” he sighed, “just the last day of filming,” “Are you alright, you sound weird?” “We went out for a drink.” “You and Y/N?” “And the rest of the cast and crew. And, before you say anything, no I didn’t get so drunk I blabbed about anything. I do have some self control,” “I wasn’t saying anything,” “No but you were thinking it. Anyway, I think I’m allowed to have a few drinks under the circumstances. Not exactly easy being secretly in love with your co-star who you’re also fakely dating,” “Alright, alright, point made. But that doesn’t explain the photo,” “Like I said, last day of filming,” Joe waited for more and begrudgingly Ben continued. “It was our last scene together and I wanted to commemorate it,” “Thank you Y/N for being the perfect Edith to my Andy. And thank you @theperfectmatchmovie for finding me my perfect match.” “Y/N said it was a bit cheesy,” “Uhh yeah, little bit,” Joe laughed, “you’re not worried it was a bad idea?” “No. We got told to post stuff, which you already know since Y/Ns posted tonnes and you’ve commented on nearly all of them. Figured I should pull my weight,” “Someone has to keep an eye on you two. Stop you from doing something stupid.” “That’s what you’re doing is it?” “You sure you didn’t post the photo with that caption because you’re dying to tell her how you feel and this is a safe way to do so?” Ben scuffed his foot along the carpet, digging his toes into the rough material and feeling like a school boy being admonished by a teacher, “So what if it is?” “All I’m saying is be careful. You’re keeping two very large secrets and–” “Yeah Joe, I fucking know but I don’t have much of a choice here,” “That’s what I’m saying…look, I know you’re a bit of a romantic at heart but you’re also not the sort to get this hung up on unavailable skirt so I believe you when you say you love her. But don’t let it slip out because that’ll just make things worse.” “I don’t know what I was thinking getting into this mess,” “Neither do I. Frankly I don’t think you were thinking. At least, not about yourself.” “Yeah maybe. Doesn’t really matter though now does it?” “Alright. This is going to sound harsh, but it’s coming from a place of friendship. Just stop.” “What’s that supposed to mean? I can’t just call it quits now, the story is doing too well and Peter has assured me that the numbers are promising or whatever I don’t really know how they measure it. All I know is that people are going to see the movie because of us.” “That’s not what I meant. I understand you can’t get out of the fake relationship stuff. But, maybe you can get out of the other side of things. Just tell her. Intentionally, tell her. I know it’s not what you want to hear and I know you’re going to argue with me and say you can’t but why not? If you tell her and she admits she likes you then great, you can be together for real. Or, if you tell her and she says she doesn’t feel the same then she can’t get out either and you can be miserable together and she’ll at least stop hanging around you so much when you don’t have to be seen together and you can get over her.” Ben shook his head, “It doesn’t matter Joe. It doesn’t matter how I feel,” “I just think this whole situation…sucks for you. A mirthless laugh rose in Ben’s throat, “of course it sucks. It’s fucking shit man. I just keep waiting for her to tell me she feels the same but it’s not happening,” “Are you sure she doesn’t feel something, even if she’s not saying it?” “No I know it’s completely one sided.” “Is there any chance she already knows? You’re not the most subtle guy in the world Ben, maybe she figured it out before you were approached about the fake out,” “No, I don’t think she knows. She wouldn’t have wanted to do it in the first place if she knew,” Ben heard Joe sigh, “I don’t know what to say then man,” “I just wish things were different. I love being around her and being able to hold her and kiss her. But it fucking sucks that it’s only in public.” “What about now that the movie’s finished?” “I don’t know. Maybe not filming together will make it easier to stop thinking about her…I doubt it though. It’s not like I haven’t tried already. I spent the whole of pre-production and the first weeks of filming trying to get her off my mind and I couldn’t I don’t know how and I don’t think I could unless we literally stopped talking to each other entirely and, honestly I don’t know that I could handle that. But again, we’re back at I don’t have a choice here. I have to keep seeing her and being with her and being her boyf-” A door slammed at the other end of the house, making Ben jolt. “What is it?” “Nothing, I think Y/N just went to the bathroom or something.” “She’s at your place?” “No, I locked myself out of my place. I’m at hers. I should go though, we’re halfway through an episode.” “Ben. Be careful.” “Always am.”

Ben hung up with a sigh. Joe could tell him to move on or spill the beans all he liked but it wasn’t so simple. He slapped his cheeks and shook his head to clear it, pulling a smile back onto his face as he headed back to the living room. He was a little surprised to see the room empty but settled himself on the couch once again, pulling a throw blanket over himself. It smelt like you. Without thinking he pulled up Instagram on his phone and revisited the photo. You’d commented on it, less cheesy but there were heart emojis strewn throughout. A similar sentiment to his original caption. He sighed and shook his head, clicking out of the app to find something else to read until you returned. The sound of your footsteps drew his attention. Something had changed. You looked pale and unwell. “Are you okay?” “Fine, thanks. Just tired. Might call it quits after this ep.” He didn’t think you’d drunk that much but maybe it was just starting to catch up with you now. Then again, it had been a long and emotional day. You had every right to be wiped out by it and especially now that you were home with no filming or celebrating to distract you from how exhausting it all was. He offered you a spot under the blanket in case it would make you feel better to have some human contact. Just for that reason of course, nothing to do with wanting to hold you. He shrugged it off when you refused and didn’t really think of it again until the episode ended and you went off to bed. He was still too alert to sleep himself, still dwelling on the conversation with Joe. So he flicked TV channels until he found something mildly distracting, a rerun of a dumb home renovation show that was easy to get sucked into.

When he did finally feel tired enough to go to bed he turned off the TV and the lights and began to tiptoe down the hall to his room. But there was light coming from your room. Not the yellow light of a bulb but the blue light of a phone or laptop. You were still up. Maybe you really weren’t feeling well. He wondered if he should check on you, offer to make you a tea with honey and lemon or something else comforting. Did you need tissues? A pot in case you had to throw up? Someone to hold your hair back? He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and sighed. This is exactly what you shouldn’t be thinking. He glanced at the light under your door again and then turned and continued his path up the hall. But, after that, he felt awake again. Unable to sleep. There was too much to think about. Maybe the caption on the photo had been a mistake. Maybe Joe was right and he should tell you. Maybe, maybe, maybe. When it came to you that’s all there was. A noise interrupted him, you groaning and the creak of springs as you shifted in the bed. Is she having a wank? That was his first thought. Does she need help? Was his next. Dangerous. Everything fell silent again and he realised you must have just rolled over to try and get comfortable. He didn’t know whether he was relieved or disappointed. He rolled onto his side, pulled the blanket up a little higher, willed himself to fall asleep but it was out of the question. You shifted again, your bed creaking with the movement. Maybe he should check on you, in case you were unwell. Or maybe there was something on your mind too. Maybe he could help. It was bound to be easier to solve than the mess he was in at any rate. He was on the verge of swinging his legs out of bed again when he was reminded of what Joe said about trying to forget you. He could feel that need to protect you, look after you, rising in his chest again. That wasn’t helpful, it wasn’t what he needed. He sighed and stayed in bed and listened to your tossing and turning until he finally managed to sleep himself. Only to dream of you.

                                                      ***

Ben settled the bill, walked out of the restaurant and kept walking. The entire time thinking back on the days, weeks before the fight was due to occur. Something had seemed off about you. Or maybe that was just hindsight. If he had noticed anything, if he had ever thought you seemed out of sorts, he’d put it down to stress from auditions, trying to find the next job. It wasn’t always easy lining up another project after one had finished. He understood how stressful it could be, especially for an actress like you who was on the cusp of something bigger, looking for your big break. But maybe he’d been blind. After that dinner, after everything you said, there was no denying that something more was going on.

You’d been…not your usual self. From the moment you arrived. He’d asked if you were nervous, but he hadn’t been able to see any of the usual signs. No bouncing let, no bitten lip. So nervous wasn’t it. But you weren’t happy either. He had been though, happy to see you, happy to be with you again. Even with the looming argument. Truthfully, he’d been thinking of what would happen after, when you were alone together and able to just hang out or whatever. He should have realised things were going south the moment you told him to stop looking so happy. He just kept repeating the evening over and over, rewinding and rerunning every moment as if he could figure it all out just from that. Another moment leapt to the front of his mind. “So having a public spat doesn’t bother you but you almost lost your lunch over our first date?” “That was just because the whole situation was new and I felt weird about going on a date with you.” That had hurt though he knew he shouldn’t have let it. Of course you’d have felt weird about going on a date with someone you had no interest in just for the sake of a movie. But still, it had hurt. A taste of what was to come. “Are you nervous?” You didn’t really seem to care what he said. Of course, he hadn’t given you the whole truth. It wasn’t totally dishonest to say argument scenes made him more nervous than love scenes but that was omitting bigger elements. Maybe it would have been more truthful to say the concept of a public fight wasn’t something he was particularly fond of. But at the time he’d felt like if he’d said then he’d have ended up admitting that it was especially true when you were involved. That all he wanted to do was look after you and love you, not argue in a room full of strangers just trying to enjoy a nice meal. After that he felt like he hadn’t been able to get you to say more than a few words. You who was usually so open and conversational. You who he’d spent more time with recently than just about anyone else. You who he could always talk to, joke around with. It was frustrating that you wouldn’t just tell him. He remembers feeling frustrated, of getting short with you. He regretted that. But that was when he was sure something was wrong. He might have ignored all the signs before that but as soon as he felt you had closed yourself off, he wanted to know why. Wanted to figure out what was bothering you, what could have happened. A fight with Felicity? Bad news about an audition? Maybe he’d said something offhanded and hadn’t realised he’d upset you (god if thats the case I want to know even more so I can apologise a hundred times over). He asked about it all, wanted to make things better, but then you were letting rip. Completely off book and unscripted, even when he gave you cues to get back on track. He would have been impressed with your performance except he was so taken aback by it. Without thinking he’d reached for your hand. He can see it happening in his mind, as if he were viewing the scene from above. The way you’d wrenched your hand away, leaving his sitting uselessly in the middle of the table. And all he could hear was “clingy and needy” in your voice with such…what was it, disgust? Hatred? And before he could so much as open his mouth to stop you, you were gone. That’s not what was meant to happen. You were meant to leave together and laugh about it afterwards. He wasn’t meant to be walking through London on his own, trying to figure out what went wrong.

It was then that Ben looked up and realised he didn’t know where he’d walked to. He considered stepping into a bar with all the noise to drown out your voice, all the alcohol he could handle to make him forget. Clingy and needy. But he thought better of it and turned to hail a cab instead. What he couldn’t stop himself from doing was calling you, though he was left disappointed when it went straight to voicemail. He listened for the beep as if he were going to leave a message but when the beep came he didn’t know what to say. What could he possibly say? What changed? Am I really so clingy? What can I do? Closer to home he tried again but the same thing happened. He hung up before the beep.

As he was letting himself inside his phone rang and for the length of a heartbeat he thought it was you. But it wasn’t. It was just Peter telling him that the video had gone live, congratulating you both for putting on such a good show, being so convincing. He ran through some early statistics, something about how many times it had been shared already, and then followed it by saying they wanted separation for a few weeks, until the make up dinner. Ben listened in a daze. When Peter finally hung up Ben opened twitter. The video was easy to find. He put his phone down on the kitchen bench and moved to pour himself a drink. Maybe he didn’t have quite as much alcohol as a bar, but he had enough to do the trick. His phone was staring at him the entire time. He shook his head, moved the phone to his pocket and headed to his bedroom. His guitar was there, the perfect way to clear his head. He picked it up, sat on the end of the bed and, without thinking, he played the opening chords of that song. Your song. With a slight clatter as his hands knocked the wood, he let the guitar drop back to the bed, trying to dig his phone out of his pocket. The video was still there, waiting for him. Proof. It wasn’t a nightmare, it wasn’t made up. He couldn’t see your face from the angle it was taken. But he could see the tension in your shoulders, the way you pulled your hand back as if you couldn’t think of anything worse than having him touch you. And he could hear you. Clingy and needy.

Ben watched it just the once, unable to suffer through it again. It wass already playing on a loop in his head, he didn’t really need the visual reminder. And then he called Joe. There wasn’t really much else he could do. No one else he could talk to about it. Joe had seen it, had watched it, and he commented on how good it looked, how real it seemed. “I think that’s because it was. Y/N went completely off book. We didn’t plan it to be like that,” “Is that why you look so shocked?” “Yeah, guess so.” Ben gulped down a mouthful of his drink and wished he’d brought the bottle with him. “I’m trying very hard not to call her something beginning with B right now,” “Joe she’s not a bitch, she’s…I don’t know. Something must have happened, I just don’t know what. “Maybe she’s starting to crack? Pressure of keeping up a fake relationship is getting to her,” “Can you try not to sound too excited by the idea. I’d remind you I do actually love her and if things work out between us I’d like for you to meet her.” “You can’t blame me for disliking her when I get a call from you every other day telling me she’s broken your heart again,” “You’re such a drama queen,” “Fine, I’ll try to keep my dislike to a minimum. But could it be that? I know she doesn’t have the same baggage as you but it’s probably not easy for her either,” “She called me clingy. Needy. Why would she say that?” “Because she’s a bitch.” “Bloody hell Joe,” “Unless…” “Unless what?” “Is there any chance she knows?” “You mean about me? Come off it, absolutely not. It’s not like I tell everyone I meet about it. You’re the only person who knows.” “Alright, then it must be something else.” “What do I do? I can’t,” Ben sighed, “It was meant to be different. We were going to have words at the restaurant and then go home together looking tense and then laugh about it when we were alone but instead…instead I’m home alone with half a bottle of whisky and a fake girlfriend who won’t answer my calls. What the fuck am I meant to do with that?” “Just give her some space Ben. You don’t know it was you. It could have been any number of things. It might just be that she was having a bad day and because you were already set to have the spat, you caught the brunt of her frustration. She’ll call in a day or two, embarrassed and apologising and you can go back to pining in peace. Out of curiosity, what was the fight originally going to be like?” “Oh, um…We’d decided that I was going to suggest she meet my family and she was going to say she wasn’t ready for that and it was all getting too serious or something like that.” “Well, that’s pretty much what she actually said isn’t it?” Ben thought for a moment. He’d been so wrapped up in her description of him, he’d not really thought about the overall message of her monologue, “Yeah, I suppose it is.” “See, she wasn’t as off script as you thought. She just jumped the gun a bit and took you by surprise. I’d guarantee that it’s something else entirely and you just happened to be the unlucky outlet for her anger.” “Maybe you’re right. She did say that thing about pretending everything was okay and acting like we’re serious….how I love her more than she loves me,” “And you’re certain she doesn’t know,” “100 per cent. She’s never had the chance to find out,” “Then of course I’m right, it was just an issue of timing and you being in the line of fire,” “Maybe I should see her,” “No! Bad idea Ben. Really bad idea.” “I just want to be sure it wasn’t my fault. If I’d been less wrapped up in pretending she was my girlfriend then may-” “Stop beating yourself up. Just try not to drink too much and get some sleep. She’ll sort herself out and call when she’s less mortified by the whole thing.” “Okay, yeah,” “And for fucks sake, stay off twitter,” Ben hung up, feeling marginally better but unable to shake the feeling that it was somehow his fault. Clingy and needy. Clingy and needy. Clingy. And needy. The way you’d spat the words at him. The way you’d stormed out. He sighed, slumped forward, and ran his hands down his face. No, Joe’s right, it’s not you. But, as much as he repeated it, Ben still found tears clinging to his palms as he pulled them away.

                                                      ***

Ben looked at his phone and bit his lip. His eyes shifted back to the ocean of brake lights ahead of the car and then back to his phone. He was already running late and the traffic didn’t seem to be moving. God he did not want to be late. Not after everything that had happened. Not after you’d cleared up the mess from the fight, not after he’d made such an effort to be less clingy, to give you more space. Things weren’t back to normal by any stretch but at least you were talking again, at least you’d missed him. The conversation you’d had the previous night, staying on the phone to watch TV. He’d been surprised by your suggestion but equally as thrilled. It had to be a sign that you felt something too. People don’t just watch episodes of TV over the phone for anyone, do they? He was in with a chance, he knew it. But, in the hours after the episode had ended and the call with it, he’d come to one conclusion. He had to tell you. He had to bite the bullet and tell you. If he wanted something real with you, you had to know. And if he kept it secret any longer it could lead to more arguments which he definitely did not want. What he wanted was for you to understand why he’d become so attached, and hopefully, to reciprocate. So he was going to tell you. And he couldn’t be late.

As the car inched forward Ben made up his mind. He was going to be there on time, one way or another. With a thankful word to the driver he got out of the car and hurried onto the pavement, beginning to walk towards the restaurant. He’d spent all day feeling like he was about to have a heart attack, chest aching with how badly he wanted to see you and how nervous he was about your reaction. He wasn’t going to fuck up now. As he walked a display in a shop window caught his eye and he quickly stepped inside. The bell tinkled as he entered, getting the assistant’s attention. She gave him a up and down glance as she greeted him, as if trying to determine the occasion based on his outfit alone. “Welcome to Coming Up Roses, what can I do for you?” “I need a bouquet,” “I can certainly help with that. Any flowers you had in mind?” “Uhhh not really. Spur of the moment,” “Well what’s the occasion then? I have flowers for everything from weddings to funerals, I’m sorry to Congratulations,” “Um, I’m about to tell the girl of my dreams that I’m in love with her,” The woman smiled, “I’ve got just the thing,”

A minute later and Ben was once again hurrying up the street, clutching the freshly wrapped bouquet, his heart pounding as he tried not to worry about how much time was passing. He had to pause at one point to get a map up on his phone, unsure of the restaurant’s exact location. He was further away than he thought and quickened his step, threading through groups of people on nights out, trying not to bump into anyone. You were already there, waiting. He could see you from half a street away and ran to meet you, kissing your cheek and handing over the bouquet before he really registered that that’s what he was doing. It was only as you were smelling the flowers and complementing them that he realised you were there, actually there, and he suddenly felt extra nervous about it all. “I saw it in the shop and, um yeah, I don’t know, they seemed nice, a-and I know you, um, like nice things, so,” Ben wanted to die, wanted to be sucked into a hole in the ground, sent through a time warp, anything to not be there babbling at you like a fucking idiot. “It’s very sweet of you, thank you,” “I’m glad you think so because right now it feels kinda cliché and cheesy.” Shut up “Now you have to carry them around all night,” fucking shut up, “what was I thinking?” for the love of all that is holy, “And god can I just shut up. Sorry.” He didn’t know what had come over him, but he wished it would go away. And things only got worse as he looked you over, took in your whole appearance. Seeing you just made him want you even more, especially with how gorgeous you looked. He wanted to kiss you, tell you. But he had to be able to speak to tell you and he wasn’t going to be able to do that until he relaxed a little. A drink, that’s what he needed. He downed his first one fast, willing it to work its magic. It did help calm him, though your laugh just made his heart race again. Halfway through the next glass he felt like he could say it and was on the verge of just getting it out into the open when you were interrupted, shown to your table. He took it as a sign that it would be bad timing and that he needed to wait. Instead he focused on just having a good night with you. The memory of your last dinner was still in the back of his mind but he pushed it away by reminding himself that things were better now. He felt himself relax more as you talked and with every touch you gave him. The drinks were definitely part of it too but he put it down to you mostly. How much you sooth him, how happy he finds himself when he’s in your presence. He could breathe properly again. You startled him a little by saying Joe would want to meet you but of course, you don’t know that he knows that it’s all a big production so you just meant it in a friend-being-curious-about-the-girlfriend type way. Very far from the truth. But Ben agrees and changes the topic.

When dessert arrived, he thought maybe that could be a good time to say it because it’s the end of the meal and you can leave quickly if you need to. But before he get’s to it he finds himself asking something else instead. “Can I ask about these last couple of weeks?” He hoped he hadn’t wrecked the evening by bringing it up but he was curious too, “Was it good? The space, did you get what you wanted from it?” Ben worried at his lip as he watched you slowly finish your mouthful and set the spoon down. “Yes. I’m not going to lie and say it wasn’t helpful because it really was. Just, having that break from everything. I think I really needed it. But I really really missed you too.” That was a relief. Proof that you were on the same page again, back to normal. And proof that you did care about him. “I’m glad. It was hard not seeing you but yeah, helped me figure some stuff out too. Confirmed some other stuff.” “Like what? If you don’t mind me asking.” This is it, this is your moment, “Like, um,” He wanted to say it, had the words picked out already but, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t risk driving you away again, causing another scene. Maybe he could say it back at his place, away from the cameras and the interested public. Maybe that would be smarter. All the same, he felt disappointed with himself for not having the guts to just tell you, and to try to cover the moment asked if you wanted to leave. As you step outside he remembers the kiss that was expected and he leans in to remind you. It’s more than a kiss though, different to all the other times you’d kissed. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to it. Any excuse really. And he says as much when he, somewhat accidentally admits to having missed kissing you. It was a thought that somehow slipped out of his mouth, but either you didn’t hear him or you were too caught up in the moment to say anything. Or she feels the same. He pushed the hopeful thought down as you kissed him back. His heart pounded as he felt your hands on his chest, as if it were trying to tell you what he’d been too much of a coward to say. And then you whined and settled on his lap and god what a fucking gorgeous sound. He’d spent months getting off to the memory of a hum and now you were gifting him a whine? An eager, excited whine at that. The sort of thing he’d been trying to imagine and it was so much better than anything he’d come up with. Your hand was in his hair and he very nearly echoed your noise back to you from that alone, but it caught in his throat as you kept kissing him, tongues twisting, your chest pressed against his. He wanted to hold you close and touch every part of you he could reach all at once, unsure of whether to grab your arse or you hip or the back of your neck. So he did a bit of it all, slid his hand along your arm and then down your back and then to your arse. And all too soon it stops. He could have cursed that driver and the heartless car horn that interrupted and sent reality crashing back down around him.

Once you were inside the safe zone of his house, away from the act, he expected things to go back to normal. You’d take off your makeup and then make a cup of tea and fill a glass of water for your flowers and you’d wind down with something on TV before you both went to bed. He’d have to have a shower to get off without you suspecting anything because there was no way he was going to be able to sleep with the memory of your tits pressed against him and your whine and your kiss swimming around his head. But you don’t walk to the bathroom like you normally do. He pulls the wallet from his pocket, places it deliberately next to his keys. But you still haven’t moved. He turns slowly, notices the way you swallow and lick your lips and he swears he’s on the verge of asking what you’re doing or saying something about it being a mistake, at least the thought crosses his mind, but you were standing so close (when did she get so close?) and when you kiss him again he just kisses back.

It’s a mistake probably, definitely, he knows that. He can hear the siren in his head again telling him to stop, pull away. But the problem is that it doesn’t feel like a mistake, doesn’t feel like it should be, and when he takes a step back you step with him and again and again until he’s somehow on the couch with you on his lap again. And why would he stop that, why would he say no to you when you fit there so perfectly and you feel so good? And all he can think about is that whine and that hum from all those months ago and he wants to see what other sounds he can pull from you so he drops his lips to your neck. “Wait, wait,” He’s confused as to why you’re stopping him and even more confused when you’re not in his arms anymore. “It’s rule one Ben,” Bugger rule one. Bugger all the fucking rules, you’ve broken most of them tonight anyway if they weren’t already broken. A voice in the back of his head reminds him what a big mistake that would be, but it can’t argue against making out. Making out isn’t against the rules and you know it too, you hesitate when he says it out loud. “I’d be good to you Y/N, you know I would,” he’s not sure if he’s talking about here and now, physically, or something deeper, something in the realm of boyfriend but what does it matter because both are true. You shake your head, “You know this isn’t real, right Ben?” And then it all comes out. That you knew about his crush. And everything stops. Just stops. He can’t breathe, air doesn’t exist anymore, and he’d say his heart had stopped too except he can hear it pounding in his ears, drowning out whatever you’re saying. You knew? You’d known for months? All those times Joe had suggested it, all that time he spent worrying about keeping it from you and you already fucking knew? And then everything seems to speed up all at once. The air rushes back, as loud as his heart, which only doubles it’s pounding until he can feel it trying to punch a hole through his chest and escape. Rational thought returns, connecting dots and drawing conclusions almost faster than he can keep up. “Is that why you were upset before the argument? Is that why you didn’t want to see me for the last two weeks?” “I thought some space might help you stop feeling that way.” He has to laugh at how fucking ridiculous an idea that is. That space would have ever helped him purge you from his system. Love isn’t that easy to get rid of. And his tongue must have sped up with the rest of his body because he’s saying it, the thing he’s been putting of saying, the thing he’s been wanting to tell you all night, and he wishes he could stop because this isn’t how he wanted it to go. This wasn’t how you were meant to find out. But no matter how much he screams at himself he can’t take it back. It’s out there. And you look horrified. “You love me?” Three words have never been spoken with more contempt than you managed to cram into that once sentence. “You don’t have to say you don’t feel the same, I know.” Your silence cuts through him like a knife, shredding what little hope remained. His heart isn’t beating against his chest anymore. It’s been kicked across the room and lies lifeless against the wall.  “That’s what I thought.”

He can’t be here anymore, can’t look at you. He wants to leave but he remembers all the cameras outside, reminds you of their presence in case you’re planning the same escape he is. He’s trapped there and so are you. So he puts as much space between you as he can, heads to his room and slumps heavily onto the end of his bed. All he can think about is those three words, you love me? Not a hopeful question. Not even stunned surprise.  More of an accusation. He tastes blood but otherwise barely notices when he tears his lip with his teeth. You must hate him for getting you both into this mess. He hates that he’s done it, that he’s put you in this position. And he knows you’re never going to want to speak with him let alone see him again. And he knows that as soon as the cameras leave, you’ll leave too. And that thought hurts just as much as everything else. You’re moving about, he can hear you walking around. It sounds like you’re pacing. Five steps and then a turn and then five more steps, another turn. Something about the rhythm breaks through his overactive, panicking, worrying mind. Something about it calms him. Maybe it’s that knowing you’re restless and agitated makes him want to comfort you, despite everything he’s feeling. Or maybe it’s just because the sound of your footfall means you’re still here. And if you’re still here then maybe he can smooth things over. He doesn’t expect to fix everything. He’d understand if you still wanted to erase him from your contacts and pretend you were only ever colleagues. But if he can just explain himself, explain that he never meant for this to happen, explain why he kept it from you or tried to anyway and maybe explain what he’d wanted tonight to be instead of the clusterfuck it’d become. If he can get any of that out then maybe you won’t hate him quite so much.

He says your name softly, not sure he’s allowed to say your name, “I heard you pacing.” “Sorry, I’ll keep the noise down.” “No, that’s not- it’s okay. I just thought, since we’re both clearly awake and since they haven’t left yet, I thought you might like a cuppa.” “I didn’t think you drank tea,” Have you really not noticed yet? He never bought tea bags, until you started coming to stay over regularly. Twice you opined about not being able to have a cup of tea before bed and that was all it took for him to start keeping them in his cupboard along with the biscuits you prefer. That’s how he knows it’s love. He took a breath as he pulled out mugs and stuck the kettle on, resolutely not looking at you. If he looks at you he’ll spill his guts and won’t be able to stop. He has to make tea first. Just the way you like it. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.” It comes out the second he looks at your face and it’s only that you’re telling him you understand that he doesn’t immediately say more. He drops his eyes to the brown liquid in his mug, undrinkable in his opinion, but a perfectly adequate distraction. He needs to get the words right this time. No stumbling and stuttering, no blurting things out without thinking. He needs to say it right so you’ll listen and understand what he’s trying to do. “I promise I understand where you’re at and I’m not going to try and convince you or to chase you or anything like that. I really am trying not to feel this way.” He glances back at your eyes, terrified of what he’d see there. “It’s okay Ben, I know you wouldn’t. I just wasn’t expecting you to drop the L bomb.” “Please don’t hate me,” it’s a whisper compared to everything else he’s said but there’s no way to make his voice stronger. It’s the thing he’s most worried about and admitting it out loud to you is harder than he imagined it would be. “I could never,” the sincerity with which you say it is almost enough to make him cry but the hug is what pushes him over the edge. It’s more warmth and kindness than he thinks he deserves after everything he’s done. And it’s exactly what he needed. Comfort and reassurance in one simple gesture. He wraps his arms around you for the third time that night, his face pressed into the cook of your neck, and you let him, squeezing back, as he lets everything out.

                                                        ***

The night after you met Joe, Ben visits him again, this time without you. It had always been the plan, to see Joe a few times, as much as the press circuit would allow, while he was in the US. But after the previous night it’s more necessary. And yet, Ben was struggling to vocalise any of his questions. It’s not until after dinner, when Joe suggests they take their drinks out onto the veranda, that any of it comes up. It’s peaceful out there, sitting in the cool night air, each of them taking turns to swig from their beer bottle as they talk. But Ben’s mind is constantly disrupted with thoughts of you. It’s the first time since all the promotion stuff started that he’s had more than a couple of minutes away from your side. Joe isn’t helping, constantly glancing at Ben, frowning, as if he’s trying to work something out. But he’s the first to crack, making it easier for Ben to talk. “How’s it going?” “Press is fine, bit boring. You know how repetitive it can get,” “And you know that’s not what I meant,” “Yeah. Nah, everything’s fine. Mostly,” “Mostly?” “It’s not easy having to share a room with her. I mean, it’s fun though. I’m glad she’s the one I’m doing all this shit with. We’re mates and we’ve been working so closely for so long now that we…get each other. Like there was this interview where one of the questions made me uncomfortable and she knew straight away and broke in to take some of the heat. She just says whatever she can to make me laugh or ease the tension or whatever will help. And I know when she’s getting nervous and needs a break or a fresh cuppa. But when it’s just us in our suite it’s…hard. I don’t know, I’m just trying to keep some distance even though there’s not much to be had. What did you think of her?” “Honestly?” “Of course,” “She’s perfect for you. Except for the not being interested part.” Ben nodded, letting his eyes fall to where his fingernail was digging into the label on his bottle. “Although…” “What?” Ben looked back at Joe, “You think she might be?” “I don’t know. And I don’t want to get your hopes up. She certainly doesn’t think she is. I asked her about it while you were out here last night and she was adamant that she doesn’t think of you that way but that’s not how it looked to me.” “We had a moment yesterday. Just before we came here. Nearly kissed.” “Seriously? Again?” “I stopped it. Kind of wish I hadn’t. Maybe if something happened, she’d change her mind,” “I know I’m not part of this situation and I wasn’t there and can only go off of what you’ve said and the one time I’ve met her but, for what it’s worth, I think you made the right call.” “Yeah?” “I don’t think you want anything to happen with her until you’re both more sure where you stand. Definitely not while you’re stuck sharing a hotel room.” “But what if -” Joe shook his head, “I watched her last night. She looked at you a lot and not just because you were the one talking. She also smiled a lot whenever your attention was on her. I was half expecting her to say she had a thing for you but wasn’t sure if she should tell you or something like that. So I think there is a good chance she is attracted to you but for some reason, doesn’t want to admit it and I think sleeping with her would just make things more complicated and worse for both of you. You said she had her little freak out thing when you were hooking up after that date. You don’t want to let things get further and have her freak out again.” “Yeah, you’re right. I’m just confusing myself because we’ve been in such close quarters. I just wish things were more certain y’know? Like, she keeps saying she doesn’t like me as more than a friend but then we’ll have a moment like we did in the hotel, or like on the plane when she was leaning on my shoulder to help with my crossword puzzle, or when we fucking made out. And then I’m back getting my hopes up only for her to turn around and crush me again. And it’s probably nothing anyway. Just pent up urges since we’ve been fucking trapped in this for months now.” “I don’t know man, it might be more than that. She seemed really into you last night.” “Nah. She’s horny and I’m there and that’s why we’ve had these near kisses and stuff. She’s said she doesn’t like me so that’s it. Maybe it’s better that way anyway.” Joe shook his head again but let the subject drop, “So how long are you here for again? There’s this restaurant up the road I should take you to.”

                                                      ***

The closer he got to his parent’s place the more tightly wound Ben felt. Bringing a girl home to meet the family was always at least a little nerve wracking – wondering whether they’d like her, whether she’d like them, how many embarrassing stories he’d have to sit through. But he could safely say that with you it was worse than with anyone else. There was so much history with you, despite never having legitimately dated, that he couldn’t stop thinking about. You meant so much to him. And he knew his mum was going to love you (how could she not) and that meant he was going to be asked why it took him so long to bring you around and about where it was headed and they were questions he didn’t really feel up to answering. Of course, on top of all of that, there was the prospect of sharing a room with you, maybe a bed. You hadn’t entirely worked out the arrangement and not knowing was just making him more nervous. Not just for himself either, for you as well. If he was nervous he could only imagine you were too. You were going to be facing questions as well, judgement from a new family. A family you didn’t even want to be part of. So he kept close to you all night. Because it’s easier to pretend to be a couple when you’re by his side and it’s easier to avoid tough conversations when he has the excuse of introducing you to someone else up his sleeve. And it’s so much easier to keep his folks away from you when he’s got your hand in his. He does circuits of the garden with you, chats to everyone with you, repeating the story of how you met and the fiction of how you started dating. And the whole time he’s trying to make sure you’re comfortable and enjoying yourself at least a little because you don’t even have actual feelings for him to push you on. He’d gladly endure first meetings with every single member of your family tree if you asked but he knows you’re only there because you have to be. Unfortunately, he’s also had a bit to drink so eventually he has to relieve himself, silently cursing his bladder because it means he has to leave you on your own. You don’t seem to mind too much. If anything, it feels like you’ve found your feet and are actually having a good night which he’s glad for. But he still goes as quick as he can.

He’s on his way back when he sees you and instantly realises something’s wrong. Your leg is bouncing so rapidly it’s a wonder you don’t knock the underside of the table, and you’re looking around as if you’re trying to find him. His first thought is that someone has said something inappropriate. There’s plenty of drunk cousins around and who knows what one of them might have said or done in a misguided attempt to be charming or impressive or flirtatious. But then he realises who you’re sitting next to and his stomach drops. So he hurries over to the table and takes the seat beside you, laying his hand on your knee to try to calm you. It works well enough for you to be able to sit there a little longer until he can find a reasonable excuse to leave the table and his mum. He’s not in the mood to be at the party anymore and leads you to the exit, politely waving off anyone who tries to convince you both to stay a little longer. “Better?” he asks once you’re outside, relieved when you say yes. “She mentioned us getting married,” “What? Why the fuck would that have come up?” Ben couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He’d been prepared for a lot but not that. “It was just a passing comment but I….” “It’s okay, c’mon, let’s go home you can tell me everything.” Without thinking he pulled you into a hug, breathing out when he felt you lean into him.

By the time he got back to the house Ben wanted another drink. You’d sat under his arm the entire ride back, keeping quiet, obviously lost in thought as you absentmindedly played with his fingers. Every brush had made him want to take your hand properly and tilt your head up to kiss you, irresponsible and selfish as it might be. One of the upsides of being back home was knowing where his parents hid their best booze, so he dug out a bottle of his dad’s Johnnie Walker, feeling a little like a teenager again, pinching a drink to impress a girl. You laughed though so he counted it as a win. But the reason you were alone together, no longer at the party, was still weighing on him and clearly on you as well. “So what happened back there?” He handed you a glass and waited until you felt you could speak. “I guess it was just harder to be around your family than I was expecting.” Everything you said made sense he supposed. He’d not really considered it that way because he wasn’t so much lying as just playing pretend. But, as much as he wished you were on the same page, he understood where your guilt came from. He tried to make you laugh again but when it didn’t work he set his glass down and took your hand. “Seriously, Y/N, there’s nothing to feel guilty about. The premiere is coming up in a couple of weeks and then pretty soon after that we’ll break up and I’ll tell them it just wasn’t working. They’ll accept it and never have to know the truth. And then we can forget this whole thing and move on.” His chest tightened at the thought of it, not being allowed to even pretend to have you anymore but he clamped down on it for your sake. “But it must be hard for you too. Having me here and everything,” He half shrugged, looking down at where his thumb was brushing the back of your hand softly, “I’m a big boy, I can handle it.” Ben glanced back at you, about to tell you it was sweet of you to care about how he was doing, but when he saw your expression he stopped.

He was a little shocked by the kiss, stumbling back a step or two, the warning siren blaring in his head again. Everything told him to run away and yet his feet were frozen in place. Joe had been right when he said he shouldn’t do this, and he’d been here before. It hadn’t gone well then so what made him think it would be better this time? But somehow he can’t find the words and you kiss him again and he decides he’s going to let it happen. He’s sick of trying to fight how badly he wants you and you clearly want this too. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be trying to undress him. He decides he’s going to let himself be selfish for once and just go with it. After the decisions made it all turns into a bit of a blur really. You’re leaning against the table and then he’s carrying you up to his room and it’s like every almost kiss, every missed opportunity and pent up moment you’d never let yourselves have is breaking all at once. You’re on his bed now and god he’s wanted you like this for so fucking long and who cares if it’s wrong. One night won’t matter. And he’s surprised by how wet you are when you pull his hand towards your cunt but he loves that you’re taking the initiative and that you clearly want him just as much as he wants you. You don’t tell him to stop. You tell him how to touch you, what feels good, and he loves that about you too. Even more than he loves how you sound saying his name as you clench on his fingers and shiver through your orgasm and fuck, he thought the whine from last time was a captivating sound but it has nothing on this, on how you sound when you cum for him. He’s going to be thinking about that moment, about you saying his name like that forever. He wants to be inside you, wants to hear it again, wants to make you feel even better and he’s forgotten where you are and how you got there so he leans over and realises this isn’t this room. This room isn’t as prepared as he’d like. For a moment he thinks that’s it and maybe it’s for the best except then you say you have condoms as you get up and rummage through your bags. He wants to know why – were you planning this or are you always just prepared like that? – except then you’re coming back towards him and he really doesn’t care why, just that you do. You climb on top of him and he feels breathless at the sight. He wants to worship you, every inch of you, and he wants to be as close as possible, pushing himself up to kiss you again because he loves you. He says it without meaning to but he doesn’t care, he’s just trying to get you to moan his name again, rubbing your clit until you’re both finished, breathing hard against each other. You’re kissing along his jaw and he wants to stay like that forever, blissed out and tangled in each other’s embrace. But reality rushes back, ignoring how desperately he’s trying to cling to the moment, and he realises how messy everything suddenly is. It hurts too. Knowing it’s not real, knowing that you don’t want what he wants. He remembers what he said just moments before, that confession whispered against your lips, and it makes him feel queasy with embarrassment on top of the heartache that’s already setting in. How many times does he have to put himself through this pain before he gets it through his head? It’s not reciprocated. It never will be. “I’ve gotta…” Ben nods his head in the direction of the door, hoping you’ll fill in the blank yourself. He wants to leave but he also wants to stay there with you, so he settles on shifting out of your reach and looking over at you, not quite able to meet your eye. “I wasn’t expecting that to happen,” Weren’t you? “Neither. Are you okay?” “Yeah. I, um, it was really good and I-I think I kind of needed it.” Ben tried to smile but it didn’t feel like it worked properly. Sure you needed it. A quick fuck to break the forced dry spell. He wanted to run from the room, flee the scene “It was good for me too. Really good. But it can’t ever happen again.” He averted his eyes again, focused on slipping back into his underwear. There was half a second where he looked around for his shirt before realising it was out at the table with the unfinished whiskies. He’d have to tidy up so no one would be able to work out what happened.

Ben downed what remained of both drinks, the burn of the alcohol a welcome distraction, though much too brief. He grabs his phone from the table, drops the glasses onto the kitchen sink and heads outside to throw the used condom into the garbage bin. As if he was going to leave the evidence of his cowardice and misjudgement inside for anyone to find. Ben turned to head back towards the door, but he didn’t want to walk through it. Inside he’d have to face you and he wasn’t sure how to do that yet. Instead he walked down the sideway into the backyard, taking a seat on the retaining wall by the flower bed of peonies. It’s not exactly warm sitting there in just his boxers and his fingers shake a little as he unconsciously find’s Joe’s name in his contacts. Joe must be busy or asleep or something (What’s the time difference again?) because he doesn’t pick up. Instead the call goes to voicemail. “Joe, it’s Ben here. Um… you’re gonna laugh so hard when you hear how fucking stupid I am,” Ben forces a laugh himself, “So I, uh, I just told Y/N that I love her….again….while we were having sex.” A pause as it sank in, “I’m not even sure how it…how we got to… We were just talking and then we were in bed and…. But it’s okay because I told her it could never happen again,” Ben thinks of how affectionate you’d been after, kissing his jaw and his nose, clinging to him, but it wasn’t real, it was just your post-sex, post-orgasm mood. He starts to laugh, less false but not entirely natural either, “I have to drive back with her tomorrow. Christ. Talk about bad timing, huh. But it’s fine though, it’s fine, totally fine. Joe, it’s fine. Because it wasn’t real. We’ve both been pent up and she spent all day with my family and had to listen to my mum talk about us maybe getting married. This was her reward. And that’s all it was. And I’m the idiot for hoping it could ever be more than that. I mean it’s not like friends don’t sometimes fuck, right? Especially when they’ve been drinking and pretending to date. Sex doesn’t have to mean feelings and it doesn’t for her and that’s fine.” There was that tight feeling in his chest again. Ben cleared his throat. “The drive will give me a chance to tell her it was a mistake. Because it was. This whole thing was a mistake. It was a mistake to fuck her and it was a mistake to bring her to meet my family and it was a mistake to pretend to date her and the biggest mistake of all of them was falling for her. And I haven’t been doing enough to reverse that. I know I said I have been, but I haven’t. I got caught up in the maybes and what ifs and I didn’t really try to move on. But now I…. It’s gotta fucking end sometime. I can’t keep doing this. So I’ve got to tell her it was a mistake and I don’t love her. Maybe I never did. Maybe I’m the same as her and it was all just because I was horny. Whatever. Now I can move on with my life. She doesn’t love me and I don’t love her and she’ll just be some bitch I nailed and we’ll both be happy, right?” Ben sighed and swiped at his blurry eyes. He’s not sure if the voicemail cut out midway through his thought process but it probably doesn’t matter. Movement from upstairs catches his eye. You in his old bedroom, getting dressed and leaving the room. He’s a little worried that if he heads back inside now he’ll bump into you on your way to get a drink from the kitchen but he can’t sit outside in the chill air all night. He takes a breath and swipes his knuckle over his eyes again before heading back inside, creeping towards the bedroom. You weren’t anywhere to be seen, though he guesses that means you’re in the bathroom. When he reached the bedroom again, he dug into the closet and pulled out a number of spare blankets, stealing a pillow from the bed. It’s not a particularly comfortable nest that he makes but it’s warm and doesn’t smell as much like you as the bed does. The pillow still holds a trace of you, but he flips it over and the scent is gone. He’s there when you get back, already pretending to sleep, curled in on himself facing away from you. “Ben?” He squeezes his eyes tighter shut, listening as you flick off the light and tiptoe back towards the bed. There’s a creak of springs as you get comfortable and then another as you move again. “Ben?” Your voice sounds even softer that time and Ben is tempted to answer but he bites his tongue. “Ben I-I…. Goodnight.” There’s another creak as you settle back down again. Ben lies perfectly still until he’s sure you aren’t going to move again. He doesn’t want to hear whatever you’re trying to say. It’ll just be everything he already knows. So he keeps quiet and feigns sleep in the hopes that real sleep will bring it’s respite sooner rather than later.

                                                      ***

Ben’s phone rang and he admonished himself for hoping it was you. He was meant to be getting over you. Besides, the hope was misplaced. It was his mum. “How did Y/N’s audition go?” “Uh,” It took him a moment to remember the excuse he’d made up, “yeah, well I think.” “She’s lovely, Ben. I’m glad you finally let us meet her,” “Yeah,” He didn’t know how else to respond but his mother didn’t need much more encouragement than that. “You should bring her back soon, I’d love to have more of a chance to get to know her. It was a bit hard with so many people there.” “Yeah, um, I’d have to check when we’re free.” He said, dragging his fingers through his hair. “I’m sure you could find one night for us,” “Yeah. But there’s the premier coming soon and we’ve both got auditions and meetings lined up so I don’t know for sure. But let me talk to Y/N and we’ll find a day that works.” “Maybe a weekend? You could stay for a couple of days then, wouldn’t have to rush off.” “We’ll see. Depends.” “Don’t leave it too long honey,” “I won’t mum. Sorry, I’ve got to run, expecting a call back about something.” “Alright, love you,” “Love you too mum,” Ben threw his phone to the other side of the couch and sighed. He’d been expecting that call but that didn’t make it any easier to get through. Not when he’d spent the last few days thinking about that night and everything that had happened. The way your lips felt on his, the way you’d looked sitting on his lap, the way you’d sounded when you came. He shook his head as if he were an etch-a-sketch but the thoughts didn’t disappear, they just morphed into thoughts of later, in the car on the way home. How you’d nodded when he’d said he didn’t love you, clearly overjoyed with the news but trying not to show it.

 Ben hadn’t gone cold turkey with you, there was still some contact, but he refrained from anything too unnecessary, spent as much time as he could with his other friends, and tried to keep any replies to you as simple as possible. Unfortunately his parents was less restrained. A few days later his mum called again, checking if he’d had a chance to invite you over yet. The day after he received a message from his dad suggesting he come down for lunch on the weekend (and encouraging him to bring you along), and then a couple days after that there was another call, one which he ignored. Every time he was thrown back to that night. But not even ignoring the calls helped. It just left him dwelling on everything and it didn’t even deter them. When next his mum called he found himself in yet another conversation on the topic and only just managed to stop himself from hanging up in her ear. He couldn’t do it anymore. It was pointless, all of it. The part of him that had thought you’d fall for him if you slept together had been proven wrong so there was nothing left to hope for. But with his family and friends thinking you were dating, always asking after you, and with you texting him memes and requesting his help, how was he meant to move on? What he needed was a clean break. But the breakup wasn’t scheduled until after the premiere and it wasn’t like a date had been set, it was up to the studio or your agents or someone else. And Ben wasn’t sure how he’d be able to wait it out that long.

 A breakthrough came in an email from Peter, an update about the movie Ben had signed on for. Originally it was meant to film in England, but those plans were in the process of changing. Part of it would still be done around London but now it seemed a big portion of the filming would happen in Spain too. Peter seemed unsure as to how this change would clash with the plans for the breakup but Ben saw it as the opportunity he needed. He wouldn’t be leaving until after the premiere anyway so it wouldn’t change your last public appearance together, but it would also work as the clean break he’d been looking for. Plus, as he reasoned to Peter, they could use the distance as an excuse for why the breakup happened. Peter seemed to like the idea and agreed that the change of location wouldn’t affect anything enough to make Ben drop out. Ben was relieved, having been excited about the project since he first picked up the script, and began looking forward to getting away from you properly. Being in a completely different country would give him the time and space he needed to stop thinking about you. It would be easy to sever all ties to you and get on a plane and move on, maybe meet someone who could drive you from his mind. He’d have to break up with you though, not just through the press but as a friend too. He couldn’t have you texting him while he was away or commenting on photos he posted online. It had to be complete. He had to remove you from his life entirely. After the premiere would be a good time to tell you. He’d pull you aside at the party or maybe tell you in the limo on the way home. It’d be hard to explain but you’d understand. She’s probably been wondering how to get rid of you anyway. Surely, you’d be pleased to hear he was going to leave you alone, not bother you with his stupid feelings anymore. You’d agree it was for the best.

                                                      ***

The night of the premiere snuck up on Ben. He’d been distracted with warding off his parents every invitation, on top of sorting out everything for his trip to Spain. Before he knew it the night had arrived making him feel equal parts excited about seeing the final product of what he’d spent so many months working on and anxious about seeing you. All he could think about was what he was going to say to you. He felt bad about cutting you from his life but there was relief too, knowing it’d be over soon. As he dressed in the suit his stylist had picked out he went over the speech he’d mentally written. It’s just a breakup, you’ve done it before. Tell her you’re sorry but you can’t see her anymore. That’s all you have to do. So, it was with this confusing mixture of emotions that he got into the limo and he only felt more ill at ease as he approached your place to pick you up. “You look lovely,” he said as you climbed into the car beside him. It came out more robotic than he meant it to. But there was a sense that this was the last time he’d be allowed to properly look at you so, while you were getting settled and taking in the interior of the limousine, he allowed himself a final chance to look you over. A hundred other adjectives to describe how beautiful you were, all dressed up and glowing, popped into his head but he kept those to himself. He couldn’t second guess his decision now. It was the only way to stop caring about you. And yet, he could feel his resolve crumbling just from being near you for the first time in weeks. No. Don’t let her get to you. This is why you can’t be in contact. Ben felt his hand curl into a fist as he reminded himself how useful the space would be. What he needed was some rules, guidelines to follow to help him stick to his plan. He ignored the irony as he came up with them. No holding hands. Actually, make that no physical contact. No voluntary physical contact anyway. He was bound to be asked by someone to take a photo with you or appear on camera with you and he couldn’t refuse if they asked for him to touch you or kiss you or anything. Do as many interviews as you can without her. That would hopefully keep interactions to a minimal. Don’t look at her during the movie.

 It was surprisingly easy to stick to the rules as you both made your way down the red carpet, but he knew it wasn’t so much his choice as it was how busy and noisy and chaotic everything was. People called his name from every side, reporters looking for quick interviews, fans looking for autographs or photos. He was able to sidestep you easily, answering questions that were thrown at him on his own until someone asked if they could speak to you both at once or get a photo of you together. Whenever you were waved over to join him, he attempted to maintain as much space as he could, but you seemed to have set your own rules just to make it harder for him. You took his hand, leant your head on his shoulder, stood so close your leg brushed against his, stroked your hand over his arm, anything and everything you could to be closer to him. Ben wasn’t sure if you really were acting more affectionate (clingy and needy) than normal or if it just felt that way because he was attempting to hold back. He put up with it though, unable to do much besides press on to the next interview without you. The hardest part was when you reached a bank of photographers who wanted a number of photos of the happy couple. Someone called out for him to kiss you and then suddenly the entire crowd was calling for it. He kept it soft and brief, though a part of him regretted not making the final kiss you’d share better.

 After that he was able to escape you for a little, talking to people as everyone gathered in the theatre to watch the movie. He didn’t look at you again until he was on stage with you, introducing the film and saying his words of gratitude and celebration. But even that didn’t last long and then he was able to take his seat and focus his attention on the screen. Watching himself was always a bit of a weird experience. Part enjoying what he’s helped create, part critiquing his performance, and part wondering why it had been edited the way it had been edited. But somehow it was even stranger sitting beside you and watching you play at being in love with him. He recognised expressions, small smiles and looks, that you’d given him on dates during the course of your relationship. Just proof of how fake everything with you was. It left him with a bitter taste in his mouth and an oddly jealous feeling in his gut. And he could feel you looking at him but he stuck to his rules and kept his eyes fixed ahead.

 He turned to his other side afterwards to talk to Alfie, wondering aloud how everyone would react to the movie and laughing about how well it had turned out. Ben couldn’t think what to say to you, knowing the inevitable end was coming. It was closer now that everyone was heading to the after party. So he was grateful when Alfie joined the two of you in your car. “You two ready to party?” He laughed, “Fuck I love that work gives me such a good excuse to get plastered.” Ben laughed along but he was stuck by the realisation that of course there’d be drinking. He’d have to watch how much he had, especially around you. He didn’t want to say something he’d regret or not be able to explain himself properly. “I think shots are in order to get us started. Meet you both by the bar?” “Sounds like a plan Al,” “I’m making yours a double Jones. We’ll have him dancing on the table by the end of the night, right Y/N?” “Oh I’d love to see that.” Cameras flashed as the small group got out of the car. Alfie headed off down the line, catching up with one of the others, leaving Ben and you on your own. Ben felt you press into his side, hanging off his arm, and thought about what waited in the club. Alfie with shots followed by champagne and cocktails and whatever else would be pressed on him during the night. He didn’t want to blurt it out or let it slip in front of other people. He had to tell you before he’d had anything to drink, just in case. It was now. It had to happen now.

 As soon as he was inside, Ben looked around for somewhere he could have a quiet word with you, somewhere no one was likely to overhear. A nearby mirrored hallways seemed the perfect place. Everyone else was busy heading into the main room and it was out of view of the photographers still hanging around outside, waiting for the stragglers to show up. “Can I speak to you over hear a sec?” he lead you around the corner, looking around to double check for eavesdroppers, “So, there’s something I need to…Y/N?” he realised you hadn’t been paying attention, probably keen to get inside and celebrate. “Yeah, sorry, Um…” Ben didn’t hear what you said next, too busy trying to remember everything he wanted to tell you, “I was going to hold off until later but I don’t want to let something slip after a few drinks or anything like that. I can’t do this anymore. This whole thing was a mistake that I should never have agreed to and I need it to be over now.” He could see how confused you were, “You know they’re going to break us up in like a week, right?” “Yeah well, that’s too long to wait. I’m breaking us up now.” He kept talking, sure the shock of it would wear off and you’d agree with him once you’d heard it all, “And…I don’t think I can see you again, not for a while at least. I need some space to forget this ever happened. I, um, I start my new job in a few days so I think they’ll probably use that in the magazines to explain our breakup. And I don’t expect I’ll see you until after it’s finished. If then. So…good luck with that witch movie. Take care of yourself.” He didn’t want to hear you agree with him, didn’t want to hear you say it was for the best or that you were going to suggest the same thing or even a goodbye. So he pushed past you and followed the noise until he found the bar. As promised Alfie was there, with a few others, a shot glass in each hand. He handed one to Ben. “Where’d Y/N go?” “Oh, uh, loo. She’ll be here in a minute.” “Well here’s to a job well done and hopefully some fucking record breaking box office numbers,” “Cheers to that,” Ben clinked his glass against Alfie’s and downed the shot, hissing a little, “another?” “Read my mind,” Ben lost himself in conversation and drinks, chatting with those around him for a while before moving on to talk to more people. Beer in hand, he headed towards the side of the room where a couple of the other main cast were sitting. Claudia looked up as he approached, “Heya Ben! Where’s Y/N? I haven’t seen her all night,” It was only then that Ben realised he hadn’t seen you come in after he’d left you in the hallway. He glanced around in an attempt to spot you, a pang of worry shooting through him but then he stopped looking. She’s not yours to worry about anymore.

                                                      ***

Ben woke up with a minor hangover the day after the premiere. Maybe it was karma. Despite what he told himself, he’d kept an eye out for you all night, but never saw you and he was more than a little worried that it was because of what he’d said. It was tempting to call and ask where you’d gotten to but a quick glance at the clock told him you’d likely still be asleep anyway. Besides, he knew he shouldn’t. He’d told you he wasn’t going to see you again and he intended to stick to his word. Instead he sent a group message to his mates and invited them around for one last hang out before he left for Spain. The next call he made was to his mum. “Hi honey. How’d the premiere go? “It was really fun, movie looks good.” “How long before you fly out?” “Couple of days,” “Shame there’s not enough time for you and Y/N to come over for dinner,” “Yeah, um, about that… we broke up.” “What? Why?” “It just wasn’t working. Mutual decision, we both felt it had run its course but decided to keep it quiet until after the premiere. So, yeah, no dinner, even if I was going to be in the country.” “Oh, honey, are you okay?” “Yeah, fine. Like I said, we both knew it was coming so y’know, no hard feelings or anything.” “It’s a shame, she was so lovely,” “Yeah, well, sometimes things just don’t work the way you think they will.”

The boys arrived in the afternoon, bringing a mixture of snacks and a few beers with them. They settled in the living room to play video games. Ben liked the company. It was a good distraction. Or it would have been if talk hadn’t turned to you. “Bit surprised you wanted us here and not Y/N. Figured you’d spend your last days in the UK with her,” “Why would I when we broke up?” “You what? When?” Ben shrugged, “We broke up. Few days ago,” “Jesus man, I’m sorry,” “Don’t be, it’s fine. I dumped her.” “Yeah but you had to go to the premiere with her right? That’s rough,” “Was a bit but there was an open bar so I coped,” Ben laughed. “Might be time we got him back on the market then,” “What? We only broke up a couple of days ago,” “You’re clearly not too cut up about it,” “What the fuck would you know, you’ve been single for what is it, three years now?” “Well you didn’t tell us when it happened, and you never even told us when you got together. We found out through a magazine, so obviously you weren’t really that serious about her” “We were waiting until after all the movie stuff was done, and that’s bollocks.” “Excuses. Besides, getting someone new to suck you off is the best way to forget an ex. This is your phone right?” “Oi give that back,” There was a scuffle as Ben tried to grab his phone back but he was outnumbered and pinned down as the boys redownloaded his Bumble app and signed in for him, laughing about how he used the same password for everything. “She’s fit, give her a like,” “Oh I like her, might be a bit tall for you though Ben,” Ben rolled his eyes as he watched them swipe on profile after profile until they heard a noise that meant one of the girls had sent him a message. “There you go Ben, didn’t take long did it. You’ll forget all about that Y/N chick in no time,” Ben snatched his phone back, “You guys are such wankers,” “That’s not very nice considering we’ve just got you a new girl,” There was laughter and more teasing as controllers were passed around and the game was loaded. Ben closed the app, thumb hovering over it to delete it again. But maybe they were right. Maybe someone new would be good. He set the phone down again and turned his attention to the game.

                                                      ***

Spain was beautiful and having a new movie to work on was the perfect distraction, especially considering how many stunts, fight scenes, and action sequences were involved. It gave him a chance to meet more people in the industry, people he was excited to work with, and really focus on something other than you. The cast went out together frequently too, dinners at local restaurants, drinks in the hotel bar, getting lost in an unfamiliar city. There was no trace of you there, no reminders of date nights, nothing but work and a new country to explore. Occasionally he’d get a notification that a reporter or curious individual was trying to message him, asking questions about you and the split but he ignored them. Ben deleted the Bumble app too within the first few days, knowing he wouldn’t use it. There was no time, even if he’d wanted to hook up with anyone. He could always reinstall it once he was back home. Once he knew you were in the past. Because the problem was that at some point every night, Ben would get back to his hotel suite and be left alone again. For a while he’d be able to think about what scenes would be filmed the next day, maybe practice some fight choreography. But eventually he’d run out of distractions and then all that was left to think about was you. Peter had sent through the first articles that reported the breakup and since then he’d found himself wondering if you’d moved on yet, found someone else to date now that you were allowed to. He’d considered checking your Instagram account but had held off, knowing it was a step in the wrong direction. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know anyway. He hadn’t gotten over you enough yet to deal with photos of you and another man together.

 This night was much the same as the others had been. Everyone met up for dinner, followed by a couple of drinks and then headed back to the hotel to unwind. Ben decided to call it an early night. He’d spent a good part of the day hooked up to harnesses and wires, being flung at a wall over and over. He was sore and tired figured some extra rest would do him good. He was just settling into bed, trying to keep his mind on the TV show he’d put on when he heard the knock. He listened closely for a moment but it couldn’t be for him, he’d put up a do not disturb sign on his door, so he turned back to the TV and flicked to a different channel. Another knock. It definitely sounded like his door but who would it be? Maybe one of the other actors? But they’d all heard him say he was going to have an early night, so surely not. Again Ben ignored it. The third knock got Ben out of bed, stumbling to the light switch and then the door, ready to politely tell whoever it was to fuck off and let him rest. “Sorry but can you not see the do not dis- Y/N? What ar-” Ben was surprised. Surprised you knew where he was, surprised you’d come there after he’d told you he didn’t want to see you, surprised that you were covering his mouth to shut him up. “You wouldn’t reply to my texts and I didn’t know if you’d listen to any voicemails I left you but I have something I need to tell you so that’s why I’m here.” There was a beat as Ben waited to hear what could be so important that you’d come all the way to Spain to tell him. “I love you.” He gasped but your palm was still over his mouth so he couldn’t say anything. It had to be a joke, didn’t it? But you didn’t look like you were joking. He waited, listening as you explained everything. It was wonderful to know you felt the same but his shock didn’t lessen. He’d been so sure about everything. So sure about how little you’d felt for him, so sure you would have understood why he needed space. And now you were here telling him the exact opposite? It was unfathomable. Maybe it was a hallucination? Maybe he’d got a concussion when he hit the wall too hard earlier. Does concussion make you hallucinate? But blinking didn’t make you disappear and the hand against his mouth felt real enough. “I’ve missed you so much, so fucking much, and all I’ve wanted is to see you again and hear your voice and hug you and I’d really like to date you for real, or at least be friends again because not having you in my life is complete shit.” Ben felt tears prickling his eyes as he realised how backwards he’d had it. You loved him. You. Y/N. You loved him so much you’d flown to Spain just to tell him. “That’s all I had to say,” you said softly, pulling you hand away. Ben staired in disbelief for a moment but you looked as if you were fighting the urge to run for it and it brought him back to his senses. “Thank god,” it was all he could think to say as he reached out to hold you, pulling you tight against him and kissing you the way he’d wanted to kiss you for so long. Relief flooded his system when you kissed back. He didn’t have to forget you or force himself to move on. It had been an impossible task anyway. He was glad to stop trying.

 It’s only when someone makes a noise further down the corridor that he lets you go, asks if you planned to stay, lead you inside and towards the couch. There were things he needed to clear up first, before he could let himself be fully happy with the situation. He looks at you properly then. You look tired, worn out. He’s not sure if it’s from the late hour or the flight or because you’ve not been sleeping properly but it makes him feel guilty that he upset you. He hates that he pushed you away and wasted months trying to get rid of you when you’d both actually wanted the same thing, to be together. But you’re here now. He reached out to brush a strand of your hair behind your ear, almost dizzy with joy that he could do that. “I’m really sorry for how I acted,” You smiled softly as you took a seat and Ben fell into the spot beside you, unable to take his eyes from you. He lets you lead the conversation, trying to sort out his mess of emotions as he explains himself. I thought if I told you I’d never been into you, acted like it, then I could make it true.” “Did it work?” “Of course not,” How could you ever think it would work? That he could just forget you so fast, after he’d fallen for you so hard? “Which is why I pushed you away.” You nodded, seemed to understand where he’d been coming from. He hesitated before reaching out to grab your hand again, a little afraid of touching you lest you turn to smoke and vanish. But you didn’t. He stifled a yawn, hoping you wouldn’t take it as his disinterest in the conversation. He’d stay up as long for as long as it took to go over everything, no matter how tired he was. “Has there been anyone else?” “Anyone else what?” “I saw a thing about you dating again,” That was surprising, not what he’d expected you to bring up. He hadn’t even realised it had been reported on. But he shook his head, explained about his friends encouraging him to move on. It seemed to satisfy you because you leant on his shoulder, let him hold you. He apologised when he yawned again, about to suggest he put a pot of coffee on so he could keep talking. But then you suggested going to bed and he had to agree.

 As soon as his head hit the pillow Ben knew he’d fall asleep fast. Even with the excitement of your arrival and the buzz of joy you brought. He kept his eyes on you. Everything seemed too good to be true. You grabbed his hand and placed it around you, shuffling as close as you could. “You’re actually here, yeah? I’m not just dreaming it?” Ben asked, voicing aloud his biggest worry. “I’m here Ben.” She’s here. In your bed. “Don’t leave, okay?” “I won’t.” She’s here and she’s staying. “I love you,” he needed to say it again, to make sure you knew that he still felt the same. “I love you too,” It was comforting to hear you say it again too, made his heart burst as he kissed you again. He didn’t want to stop but he was much to tired to do anything else. Still, he fought sleep for as long as he could. He’d lost so much time being apart from you that, now he had you back in his arms, sleep felt like a waste of precious hours. Hours he could spend kissing you, being with you, making sure you felt loved. He couldn’t fight it forever though, eventually had to give up. The last thing he saw before he shut his eyes was you, smiling at him, as you lay beside him.

                                                      ***

It had been a long day what with moving you into his house. Even after the boxes were inside and everyone who had been helping out had gone home, there was still a lot to do. Everything needed to be unpacked and put away. Ben had been clearing space on all his shelves and in all his cupboards to fit everything you’d brought with you. Plus there was new furniture from Ikea to unpack and construct. Like the chest of draws he’d been working on before he got up to stretch his legs and grab a glass of water. He caught sight of the magazines that had been left in the kitchen and, chuckling at their stories of marriage and babies, stacked them in a neat pile before he grabbed his drink. As he walked back through the living room he saw you, curled up on the floor beside the box you’d been working through. “Y/N?” Ben shook your shoulder to wake you, trying not to laugh as you blink at him groggily, still half asleep. “Alright, cuddle bunny, up you get. Time for bed, yeah?” “But the boxes,” you argued though it was unenthusiastic and slurred with sleep. “The boxes will be there tomorrow. C’mon, come with me,” Ben half carried you to the bedroom and helped you under the covers, leaving you with a kiss on the forehead before heading back to the draws he was halfway through building.

 By the time he was finished putting the draws together Ben was feeling fairly tired himself. He moved the spare screws off the floor so no one would step on them and then headed back to the bedroom. You were still there, sleeping soundly. Ben paused in the doorway to look at you. It was a sight he loved, you in his bed. The first time you stayed over and slept in his bed rather than the guest room had been a monumental occasion though the novelty of it had worn off a bit now, especially with how frequently you’d stayed at each other’s places before the move. But still, he’d never get sick of seeing you beside him, where you belonged. Same as he’d never get sick of making you tea or trying to convince you to eat an actual breakfast or making you laugh. It was in that moment, leaning against the doorway of the bedroom you now shared, one wall lined with boxes of your belongings yet to be put away, it was then that he knew he wanted to marry you. Have a family with you, spend his life with you. He’d go out and buy a ring once you were moved in properly, though he could hear his friends telling him to wait a little longer, see how everything was living with you first. But that didn’t matter. He wouldn’t have to give it to you straight away after all. But he knew that was what he wanted with you. And now that you were together, after so much time and trouble, he never wanted to let you go.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy smut #its currenty 1am #i have to be up for work in about 5 hours #this took longer to edit than i thought it would #(probably because its 22 effing words long lmao) #but here you go! #its done! #i think some of my formatting went a little janky when i was copying it into this post #but whateveri think its just added extra line breaks between paragraphs #so it should still be readable #anyway #im gonna pass out now #i'll see you tomorrow when i come to complain about work

[mischiefandspirits]

Doppelgänger (12/19)

Previously on Doppelgänger ~ Masterlist ~ Next time on Doppelgänger

Danny, Sam, and Tucker were just 14 when they took a look inside the portal Danny’s parents had built. From there, everything changed. They woke up with white hair, green skin, and powers they could learn to control. They were hybrids, halfas.

They were the hero Doppelgänger.

{Control Freaks}

“Hey, we’re not here yet?” Danny and Tucker said as Danny flew up. “We paid us to cover for us at school. We’re going to the opening of that goth circus.”

Danny shook his head.

Cross over to the dark side…

The boys blinked as something settled over their link for a second before disappearing.

“What was that?”

Danny shivered and shook his head.

“Let’s just get to school.” They nodded and turned to fly off, only for their ghost senses to go off. They looked around and spotted a group of ghosts flying past with bags of money. “Those must be the ghosts we fought last night. Sounds right, come on.”

They took chase. Tucker blasted one of them and Danny darted down to catch the bag of money the ghost dropped before it could fall on the cop car chasing the ghosts. He set it in the car’s backseat and gave the police a wave before flying back up.

Suddenly their link went hazy again and Danny ran headfirst into Tucker as he froze in midair. 

“Are we okay?” Danny asked, then his eyes widened as he realized Tucker was quiet. “Hey?”

Tucker shook his head and turned to Danny as the haze disappeared.

“What? Are we okay? We froze up for a second there. Yeah, we think so. Where’d the ghosts go?”

Danny shrugged and pulled Tucker through the billboard he’d frozen in front of. He looked around, but didn’t see the ghosts anywhere.

“Gone. Come on.”

They only made it a block before the haze settled over them again.

“What is that? We don’t know. It’s not us. Then maybe…” Both their eyes widened. “We need to find us, quickly. The train yard.” Tucker pointed back the way they’d come and they flew back to see a crowd of goths facing off against a crowd of parents. The two looked over the crowd of goths until they spotted Sam near the center. “There!”

They dove into the ground and came up next to her, invisible.

“Are you okay?” they whispered, but she didn’t look at them. She just kept staring forward with red eyes.

“Her eyes. We know. We need to get her -”

“Make them see us for who we are,” Sam muttered, then a flicker of purple light started at her waist.

Their eyes widened and they grabbed her, turning her invisible and dragging her into the ground.

“What were you thinking?” the two hissed once they’d come up in the abandoned warehouse the crowds were outside of, creeped out by how she didn’t speak with them despite being in ghost form.

The haze lifted.

She shook her head after a second and looked around.

“What happened?” the trio said. “We nearly just transformed right in the middle of a group of people! What? We-we don’t know what came over us. Something’s messing with us. Let’s get to school. But the opening ceremony! Our parents are out there leading the charge. They’ll kill us if they see us. Alright, fine.”

Sam glanced longingly in the direction of the circus train, but followed her partners.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What was up with you two this morning?” Danny asked as he sat down at their lunch table.

“Two?” Sam asked, looking up from her salad.

“Tucker froze up on me while we were chasing down those ghosts you fought last night. It felt just like when you went blank.”

Tucker shrugged. “I don’t know. I remember chasing the ghosts towards a billboard. They flew through it then… then Danny was talking to me.”

“What billboard?” Sam asked.

Danny shrugged and Tucker’s face screwed up. “… It had a guy on it, with a red staff… I think.”

Sam frowned and dug into her backpack. She pulled out the promotional flyer she had for Circus Gothica. It had the ringmaster on it. He was holding a red staff, but the top of it was out of frame. “Was this him?”

“Yeah, except… you could see the whole staff. There was…”

“A glass ball on the top.”

“I think so,” Tucker dug his phone out of his pocket.

Danny frowned. “So Tucker wigged out seeing a Circus Gothica poster and you wigged out at its opening ceremony. Think there can be a connection?”

“I am Freakshow, ringmaster of the Circus Gothica…”

Danny and Sam looked over as a voice came from Tucker’s phone and Danny scooted closer to see the screen.

“… where your nightmares come alive.”

“Is that the trailer?” Sam asked standing up to lean over the table, but couldn’t get an angle where he could see. “I think it came on this morning, but I was fighting with my parents so I think I missed it.”

“Circus Gothica, where the clowns never smile.”

They didn’t respond.

She looked at their faces to see both of their eyes glowing red.

“Circus Gothica!”

She yanked the phone out of Tucker’s hand. She closed the video without looking at it. “Danny! Tucker!”

They blinked and their eyes went to normal.

“I think it’s safe to say something’s wrong with the circus. I can’t believe my parents are right.”

Danny frowned. “But what’s going on? Is it some sort of anti-ghost thing?”

Tucker’s eyes widened. “Right before Sam transformed, she repeated the ringmaster’s words. Something about revealing yourself.”

Danny shivered as he went pale. “The ghosts, the ones who’d been stealing things, we chased them right to the circus’s train.”

“Ghosts don’t care about jewelry and money,” Tucker said, “but humans do.”

“Mind control,” Sam growled, snapping her spork in half. “That’s why the performers at Circus Gothica are said to be able to do unnatural performances. They’re literally supernatural!”

“Those poor ghosts. Who knows how long they’ve been under his control. We have to help them,” Danny said.

“Preferably before they steal anything else,” Tucker hummed. “One problem though, how?” The two turned to him and he gestured to his phone. “We can’t even look at a picture or video of the guy before becoming mindless zombies. How are we supposed to fight him?”

The three frowned down at their lunches.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Valerie looked up from her homework as she heard a knock on her window. “Hey Valerie, we’ve got a problem!”

“You bet you do?” She grabbed her pistol and pulled open her curtains. She frowned as she took Doppelgänger in. “Why’s that one blindfolded?”

All three of the ghost kid were fidgety. One had their goggles pushed onto their head so a black scarf could be wrapped over their eyes. The second was arm in arm with the first, likely to lead them around. The third looked like they were trying to strangle the paper in their hands.

“Preventative measure,” the three said. “It’s what we need to talk to you about. Can we come in? Please? It’s about the robberies.”

She crossed her arms. “You can’t come in, but I’m listening.”

The one with the paper held it up so she could see. “Have you heard about this?”

“Circus… Gothica? Maybe. My friend said he was going to some circus and that one sounds up his goth partner’s alley. Why?”

“The ringmaster is controlling ghosts and forcing them to steal for him.”

She gave them a blank stare. “You’re kidding.”

They shook their heads and the one with the paper pointed at the rod the man on it was holding. “We think it’s his staff. We can look at this just fine, but seeing anything that shows the thing in full makes our brains shut down.”

“Then why aren’t you off stealing stuff?” she asked, before something clicked in her head and she looked at the blindfolded one. “Preventative measures.”

“We can snap ourselves out of it.”

“As long as you aren’t all hit.”

A horn honked and the three flinched.

She sighed. “Get in here.”

They dove through her wall. The two without a blindfold went to close her laptop and turn off her tv. “All clear.”

The third removed their blindfold and Valerie was surprised by the neon purple color of their eyes. She could have sworn their eyes were yellow.

“We can’t go after the circus,” they said before she could comment on it. “We can barely go after the ghosts without risking falling under the same spell. Heck, with all the billboards that have been popping up out of nowhere, we can barely fly around town without risking it.”

“So what, you want me to go in and beat the guy up?” she asked.

They shook their heads. “It might have been a ghostly crime, but he’s a human criminal. We can leave it to the police. We just need to make sure he can’t use the ghosts to get away.”

“And how do you suggest we do that?”

The three smiled and one held up a ticket.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Valerie scowled as she slumped into her seat. “This is stupid.”

“Everything is stupid,” the guy next to her moaned.

Valerie scooted away from him. “I feel ridiculous,” she whispered this time.

“You look great. You still sound a little too peppy though.”

She had half a mind to take out the wireless headphones Doppelgänger had given her and chuck them as far as she could, but she fought it down.

She was currently dressed in her most gothic attire: a torn Dumpty Humpty band tee that she’d been meaning to get rid of, a black leather jacket, black skinny jeans, the black choker necklace Danny had given her for her birthday (minus the topaz sun pendant), and a pair of her dad’s black work boots. Doppelgänger had also done her makeup, giving her dark smoky eyes and blood-red lips that matched the streaks of temporary dye in her hair, which had been left messy and in her face. The final piece had been a skull mask that covered the top half of her face.

Altogether, she blended in perfectly with the crowd of Circus Gothica patrons.

“Leave it to a ghost to think goth looks good.”

“Just because you can’t pull it off, doesn’t mean it’s a bad look.”

“I thought you said I look great.”

“You do. She doesn’t. We’re having a difference of opinion. Can we just focus on the task at hand, please?”

Valerie grunted and leaned back. She watched the contortionist twist herself in ways that might have been freaky, had she not known the woman was a ghost and seen other ghosts do way worse.

Doppelgänger had split themself at the neck once.

Her eyes caught on the side of the tent as a dark figure slipped out. She smirked and twisted herself to drop down through the hole in the bleachers. “He’s on the move.”

“Alright, be careful. And remember, you’re goth. You need to act like a fan, but you still have to be disinterested in existence and everything that comes with it.”

“How does that make any sense?”

“It doesn’t. Yes, it does. Just play it cool. You’ll do fine.”

Valerie slipped into the off-limits area and looked around. The area was actually pretty empty. There were a few devices -- that… well, she hoped they only looked like torture devices -- off to the side, but otherwise the room was empty.

“What are you doing back here?”

Valerie turned to see Freakshow walking in from another room.

She put on her best Sam expression. “Wicked, you’re Freakshow. I was wondering if I could get an autograph. You’ve got to be the sickest thing that’s happened to this garbage dump of a town.”

“Goth’s don’t sound like that. Stop backseat spying.”

“Yes, well, I am quite spectacular,” he said, adjusting his jacket.

“Oh god, he’s that kind of performer. And here we’d thought he was cool. Except for the mind control. Right, except for the mind control.”

“I suppose one autograph couldn’t hurt. What’s your name?”

“Scarlett. Could you sign my-Woah!” She faked a trip and crashed into his left side, putting enough force into it to take them both to the ground. The staff clattered off to the side.

“You daft girl.”

Valerie didn’t bother to keep up the charade. She rolled towards the staff, scooping it up and climbing to her feet in one smooth motion. Then she was out the tent’s back entrance.

“Wha-Get her! Don’t let her get away.”

Valerie smirked and dove around a set of crates just as a strongman and short ghost came flying out.

“I’m clear. The ghosts are all yours.”

Almost immediately one of the trio was slamming down on the strongman and blasting the short ghost. Valerie kept moving as the other two joined in. As much as she’d like to take down the ghosts, she needed to get the staff as far away as possible. She hit the button on her watch and her suit wrapped around her. With a click of her heels, she was shooting into the sky.

However, she’d barely made it to the first highrise before a swirl of tiny green creatures swarmed her. 

“Give it up girl,” Freakshow said as a cloaked ghost flew up with him in her arms. “Return to me what you stole and -”

“Just shut up,” she said, using her hoverboard’s guns to fire on the small ghosts.

“Destroy her!”

Valerie readied for a fight, but then something landed in front of her and a green dome wrapped around them. Doppelgänger drew in the shield, then sent it exploding outwards to wipe out the smaller ghosts and knock back the larger one and her passenger.

Another of the ghost kid sucked up the ghost then plucked the ringmaster out of the air.

“We’ll bring this back to the circus,” the two said before the second flew off.

“You alright?” the one on her board asked.

“Fine.” She tightened her grip on the staff and looked over her shoulder.

After a moment, the ghost kid sighed. “I think that was the last of them.”

“Good.” She faced forward as they turned to her. “I had that under control, you know.”

They didn’t respond.

“Hello.” She waved her hand in front of their face. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes,” they answered, but their voice sounded off. Smaller, not as echoey.

She stepped back and looked them over. Her eyes landed on their face and she realized they weren’t looking at her.

They were looking at the staff.

Hesitantly, she shifted the staff into one hand then pulled their goggles up to see red irises, just like the ghost had described.

“You… You’re under my control?”

“I’m under your control.”

Her grip tightened on the staff. This was… She could do anything to the ghost kid. Could finally get her revenge. She could question them and find out anything she wanted. She could learn all their weaknesses. The only thing she really couldn’t do was destroy them, as there were two more of them out there.

She stepped closer to the ghost, grabbed them by the front of their suit. She looked them in the eyes, and froze.

She couldn’t do it. She should, but she couldn’t. Because she looked into their eyes, and saw Danny.

She could say she didn’t know why, but that would be a lie.

Even though Danny helped her with her weapons and let her rant to him whenever the ghost kid annoyed her, she knew he -- like most of the rest of the school -- thought the ghost was good. She didn’t get it, especially with his parents, but she also wasn’t blind. She saw his little frowns when she talked about how the ghost was a menace and noticed when he tried to keep the topic off them whenever he could. She was actually grateful he was willing to stay neutral for her, lord knows Star couldn’t.

So she knew Danny wouldn’t be pleased with her if she did this, but that wasn’t the only reason the ghost’s eyes reminded her of Danny. As much as she hated the ghost, she could recognize that they had a lot in common with her friend. Most of the time. Really only when it was one of their usual fights, just her and one of them, when they would bob and weave around her attacks with ease.

During those times, they were witty and could come up with the most ridiculous pun-filled taunts. It was something Danny liked to do, but only around people he was close to or during that one time with Skulker. They both made every situation seem so much brighter, made everything seem easier to handle, though she’d never admitted it in the ghost’s favor. And sometimes the ghost would get a resigned edge to their voice while they were fighting her that sounded so much like when Danny had to play mediator between her and his partners.

It was something she pushed aside, ever since it had hit her during her stay in the ghost zone, but now.

Now all she could see was Danny!

She growled and shoved the ghost away.

They staggered back off the hoverboard, but their flight took over before they could fall and they stayed level with her.

She looked down at the staff, glaring, then held it out. “I’m going to regret this.”

She let go.

She kept her eyes on the ghost as the seconds passed and a crash sounded far below.

They blinked and flickers of red energy came off their eyes, but their eyes remained the same.

No, they didn’t. Their eyes remained red, but the color became warmer, less like blood and more like fire. They were a brighter color with hints of orange. It felt softer, more compassionate.

It made their eyes look even more like Danny’s.

“Red?”

Valerie turned and flew off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She hesitated, then knocked on the window in front of her.

After a minute, the curtain was pulled aside and Danny stared up at her with wide eyes. He opened the window and stepped back. “Val? What are you doing here?”

She carefully flew inside then recalled her board and suit. “Sorry, I just… can we talk?”

He nodded and sat down on his bed, gesturing to the space next to him. “Are you okay? You’ve been acting weird this past week. Is it about that clown guy that got arrested for using ghosts to rob places?”

“Something like that,” she sighed. She sat down and placed her elbow on her knees so she could hide her face in her hands. “He had this staff, it could control ghosts. Doppelgänger asked for my help to get rid of it so the guy could be arrested without the ghosts interfering.”

“Alright, did something go wrong?”

“Not exactly. The plan worked perfectly until… One of the ghost kid’s duplicates came to help me when a ghost chased me. After the ghost was taken care of, they turned to me and… and I had the staff so…” She waved her hand.

“They got mind-controlled,” Danny finished. They were quiet for a moment then he asked, “What did you do to them?”

There was no judgment in his voice -- not like what would have been in Star’s if Valerie had told her, not that she knew Valerie was Red Huntress. Instead, he sounded curious.

She picked her head up and leaned against him, staring blankly at his bedroom wall. “Nothing.”

“Really?” he said, unsurprised.

“I could have, a part of me wanted to, still wants to, but I didn’t. I couldn’t, not really. They were right there, completely helpless and I just didn’t do anything.”

“Of course you didn’t.” She looked up at him to see him smiling down at her. “Val, you’re not that kind of person.”

She sat up with a frown. “What do you mean?”

“Like you said, they were helpless. You wouldn’t take advantage of a situation like that. It’s not you. They probably knew that. Why else would they have risked bringing you in?”

Valerie couldn’t bring herself to say anything because Danny was wrong. She would have done it. If it had been any other ghost, if their eyes had been covered, she would have done it.

“This isn’t what I came here to talk about,” she said.

He frowned, but allowed the change in topic. “What’s up?”

Valerie took his hand and met his gaze. “Everything that’s happened lately made me realize I… I like you, Danny. I really like you, a lot.”

Danny blushed. “I…”

“I don’t know if you feel the same, but if you do or even if you’d just like to give us a try, maybe we could go on a date this weekend?”

Danny smiled and opened his mouth, then snapped it closed and looked down at his lap. “I-I can’t.”

“I under-”

“No, Val, I… I want to. I really really want to. I like you too.”

“Then -”

“But I can’t. I…” He pulled his hand away and his fists clenched and he bit his lip. “There’s something you don’t know, and it wouldn’t be fair to you to keep it from you if we were together.”

“Then tell me.”

“I can’t. I want to, but it’s not just my secret to keep.” He rubbed at his eyes.

She nodded and stood up. “I understand.”

“I’m sorry. I… I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I-I should go.” She went to the window. “I’ll see… Bye.”

“Wait.” She turned to him as he went to his desk and pulled something out of a drawer. “I’ve been meaning to give this to you, but haven’t gotten the chance. You should probably take it now. I know you’re mad so I don’t know whe-”

“I’m not mad.” She wasn’t. She trusted Danny to keep her secret, so she couldn’t be mad that he’d keep someone else’s. She was just…

She took the device. It looked like a belt. She wrapped it around her waist and clicked it closed. With a beep, it hummed to life.

“It’s called a Specter Deflector. It repels ghosts and protects you from a lot of their powers.”

She gave him a smile that felt fake. “Thanks.” She tried to pat his shoulder, but he flinched away so she backed off. “Bye, Danny.”

“Later.”

She summoned her suit and slipped out the window.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam carded her fingers through Danny’s hair and shared a look with Tucker. The three were piled up on an abandoned building with some dinner, though the food had mostly gone untouched.

“Sorry, dude, we know you’ve had a thing for her for a while,” Tucker said.

“Haven’t.”

“You have, and it’s only gotten worse since you guys got back from Skulker’s.”

Danny pressed his face into Sam’s thigh.

“I still don’t get why you turned her down,” Sam said.

“If I dated her, then she found out we were Doppelgänger, it would ruin everything. And I couldn’t tell her. If I only told her about me, then that would be as bad as lying because I’d have to cover up everything about our connection with each other. And I couldn’t tell her about you guys.”

“You could,” Tucker said and Sam fought down her reaction to that. “We won’t make you keep this from her.”

He shook his head. “You guys still don’t trust her. I know you don’t so don’t try to lie. And I… I still don’t know how she will react anyways. It would be selfish of me to put you guys in danger just for a chance.”

“You deserve to be selfish sometimes,” Sam said, turning him to face her. “We want you to be happy.”

“I know.” He sighed and sat up. “I just… sometimes I wish I was Amity Park’s one and only halfa.”

His partners pulled him into a hug.

“You don’t mean that,” Tucker said.

Danny looked up at him. “I do. If I was, then you wouldn’t be in danger and it would just be my secret to tell, not yours.”

“Oh, Danny,” Sam whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And the season comes to a close. There might be an extra week between this chapter and the next because I need to figure out how I want to go about posting season 2 since it isn't complete like season 1 was when I started posting it.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #valerie gray #sam manson #tucker foley #Doppelgänger au

[valkyrieofsmut]

Mk so the previous ask of mc with a kid got me thinking, what about pregger mc who’s boy friend/husband/father of the child ditched her upon finding out she was pregnant and because of being pregnant she was one of the first to get canned at her job (since from what I recall it’s unaviable to have that kind of job while carrying) when they started making cuts and with her being unable to pay rent and the ‘no kids’ policy of her apartment complex she had to move into her trailer at the boys land >:3.

Um... I’d love to answer all of this/ more exactly to the question... but I have a few problems here for understanding... That whole first part, easy to understand, got it... The part about her being one of the first to go: she was, in the story; they don’t care if you’re preggs or not, they only care about how much money they’re spending to pay you. So it definitely wouldn’t matter if she was pregnant, they don’t care, and any risk is defined as risk you took; they’re not liable (not like you could really prove much, anyway). And lastly, the “no kids” policy? ...? Where tf do you live that has that?! It’s been illegal to refuse to rent to anyone because they have kids since 1968 due to the “fair housing policy”! I! I don’t know, but if you’re living somewhere they’re telling you that, look that shit up and let them know you know. Fuck them! They can’t do that shit to you! (there is an acceptance for places classified as “retirement/ old age/ whatever tf” but she couldn’t live there because she’s not old enough, anyway.)

Other than that stuff, I see it just as a “what if MC was pregnant when she got there and asshole left her” question, so I’ll answer that.

Classic- He doesn’t even really think about it for a long while, not even when she starts showing. It literally takes until she can’t walk anywhere without having to try to catch her breath/ not being able to stand for long/ about to go into labor (aka very pregnant) until it is something that he even has to keep reminding himself, just so he doesn’t get irritated that she can’t keep up. And then when she goes into labor, it suddenly comes to him- there’s going to be a tiny human here soon! Fuck! He needs to do something, doesn’t he?! Where do humans have babies?! Right. The hospital. Ok. Panic over. He’s going to get her there right now.

Creampuff- She’s mated? Oh... her mate left... unfortunate... Humans don’t live in such a small community that they can all just stay around each other and raise their children together like they sort of did in the Underground. He’s not sure exactly how humans do it normally, but monsters all pitch in, and he’s ready to help! He likes kids! They’re so amazed at the world around them and look up to him, and are so sweet! He’s always glad to help with the little one when they get here, and until then, he’s going to make sure that she’s as comfortable as possible, almost to the point of being underfoot, like the stereotypical nosy mother in law.

Red- Eh, kid ain’t here, yet- and that means he’s got free range, since there’s no chance that he’ll knock her up! He is his same self, flirty, trying to get in her pants, just normal Red! And then she starts showing. And he spends lots of time watching her baby belly. Any time anyone ever even curses around her, he yells at them, completely missing the hypocrisy. “what th’ fuck ya sayin’ shit like that ‘n front a the kid fer?! shut yer yap!” The more she shows, the more he’s by her side and doesn’t want to leave. More invitations for nights of just cuddles than orgasm relief start coming. He... likes touching her belly... and imagining that it’s his kid in there... don’t fuckin’ tell anyone! He really is a family kinda guy when it gets down to it, and he’s going to be one of the first to offer to help with the kid, and not in the helpful friend kind of way that Creampuff is. He’d... “uh... like ta have one wit ya, too... whadda ya say, sweetheart?”

Edge- It does not affect him, until it does. When she starts to get cranky and irritable from being pregnant, he’ll be wary of her, but he’ll also seek her out at times, because he knows that yelling and arguing helps when you feel so aggravated. Yep, he’s actually trying to help (Y/n) relieve some stress when he's arguing with her. His brother isn’t around to do it, and- ... he... can’t bring himself... to offer that kind of stress relief after being the cause of a lot of her irritation for so long... He hopes that she’ll be able and/ or willing to move past that after the baby is born. When she goes into labor, he seems completely cold and in control, belittling those around him for being stupid as usual- but inside he’s really freaking out. When the baby is born, he’ll be walked in on holding the baby, looking parental, maybe... almost... maternal...? Breath a word of it to anyone, and you’ll be regretting your own birth...

Blue- He’s smarter, and more mature, than people give him credit for! And that’s going to show itself in the way he fights with Red while trying to get her “nest” ready. He always “just happens” to find things that would look great in the lodge! And some of the ladies at work were talking, one’s niece was going to have a baby, too! And he heard that you need to have this specific type of thing when you’re having a baby! And he just happened to see it while he was at the store, and thought he’d save her the trouble of having to get it later when she’s all achy and sore! Spoiler, he’s actually joined some mom groups and has started asking the ladies at work about when they’d had their kids and is doing a lot of research. He wants to make sure she’s as prepared as she can possibly be! And... all the while, he’s going to be working himself into her life so that after the baby is born, it’ll just be natural for him to be around! And then he’ll just- stay there... in her life... and it’ll already be like they’re mated by the time he actually asks her.

Stretch- He’s not phased by it- until she gets to about the third trimester and is really showing. He hangs out around the lodge a lot, “just happen to be workin’ in the lab a lot lately.” He’s pretty chill, hanging in the background, but he’s, y’know... keepin’ a socket out for her... incase she needs anything, or anything happens... humans are fragile, after all, and that’s a complicated stage to be at... He’s not going to be in the foreground helping, like some of the Papyri, and he’s not going to be doing things behind the scenes, like some of the Sanses, he’s actually the one worried that he’ll break the kid, despite knowing, scientifically, that he won’t. He’s doing what he can to make sure the baby’s doing well and is taken care of, though- even if it is mostly by “casually” mentioning to Blue that something needs to be done or gotten- his bro is better at that stuff, anyway.

Black- He doesn't quite notice at first- not that he doesn't know, just that whole "out of sight, out of mind" thing. So he doesn't really take it into consideration, after all, she's a human; she'd know her limits when pregnant better than he would, wouldn't she? He starts doing research to see if there's something he should look out for and finds so many troubling things! Humans die from this?! They could be hospitalized?! They could lose the baby if something as small as that happens?! Yep... he's fallen into webMD... He's now going to make Mutt do everything for her while he keeps her by his side to stop her from getting hurt.

Mutt- It doesn't really matter to him. The kid isn't there, yet, so it sounds like the perfect time to be trying to get her to keep her pants (and the rest of her clothes) off and stay in bed with him all day, every day. If he does manage to get her in bed (or she gets the pregnancy hornys and takes him up on his open offer), he's not pulling out. All his magic is going inside of her. He thinks it's so fucking sexy, until he realizes that he's poured all his magic into her and... possibly her kid... um... oh... And now the kid is also his. Whether he was there to start the kid or not (obviously not, since she was already pregnant when they met), his magic is all over the kid, and he wouldn't be surprised if the kid turns out to be a mage.

Axe- When he first sees her, he doesn't know, or care. It really doesn't affect him other than being a bonus tastey treat inside... When he gets to know her, and she starts to show, it changes. There are two responses to pregnancy in the Underground; the fear of having another mouth to feed, of losing them before you even name them, due to the famine- but, before everything went to hell, pregnancy meant hope. It meant future... And with plenty of food around- it reminds Axe of that. He will begin stockpiling food, it will be everywhere. He will come make (Y/n) eat, even if he has to come ask her to make a meal for him, and then slowly trick her into eating most of it. She’s going to gain a lot of weight if she’s not careful.

Crooks/ Bun- He jumps on that the moment he finds out, even if she's not showing. He uses it as a reason not to hurt or eat her when reasoning with Axe, he holds her forth as a symbol of hope and future. He still becomes her best Bun! But he's also like the one who goes to all the classes and everything with her, Lamaze classes, shopping for everything she could need... He is there for her. And also... maybe... mother henning her a bit- but only in the good ways!

Dusty- It really doesn't cross his mind at all, until there is visible evidence; she starts showing. And then he's pretty weirded out that there's a baby- an itty bitty human, growing inside her. He keeps a wary eye on her, and especially after she delivers. He’s very nervous about what havoc this little one could wreak! ... but then... he realizes that... with this one starting out brand new, without any pre taught awfulness... he could teach it- he could train it how to be good... and then he has a little bit of hope...

Ask Masterlist?

[shinjaeha]

itsay ep 5 (thoughts + spoilers)

i feel like i’m on a high that i’ll never come down from :))) the itsay effect. this show is truly a cultural reset.

first up, i just want to say that i have never been more worried about a final ep before IN MY LIFE. for the past couple eps, i’ve tried to watch them live raw, but for this one, i was afraid of spoilers (and wanted to understand everything from the first watch), so i waited for the vimeo ep to drop and let me tell you...that was both the longest and shortest wait ever...the excitement and the dread i’ve been feeling this whole week has been unreal.

as usual, this is not an analysis. tbh there’s prob going to be even less analysing in this one bc most of the time i was either crying or yelling at my screen (and i feel like this ep in general didn’t have as many scenes to analyse?). but god, i’m SO GLAD that they gave us a happy ending bc it would have broken me into pieces if i had to rewatch and recap this knowing everything had fallen apart for them (ecstatic that wasn’t the case, and my feelings from last ep on how things might go in this one actually panned out!!). after what went down in ep 4, i always thought that that was going to be the peak of the climax/conflict, and that this one was going to be much more of a healing ep...the ep that would bring more closure to each of the characters and their relationships, as well as wrap things up as a final ep should.

so the way this ep starts is actually kind of anti-climactic. esp after the intense emotions of what happened at the end of ep 4. which is understandable? like they were being petty teenagers angry at one another, but now it’s a few days later, and all those heated emotions have tempered down. they’re in that awkward stage where neither of them even know how to start approaching one another after the loaded feelings of the last ep (basically this is what happened to them when they were children. no one reached out, and they both drifted apart...only now they’re aware of what might happen if no one reaches out and it’s a question of whether they let history repeat itself).

oh-aew using the cue cards that teh gave him and being worried ;;; doing that thing that teh told him about writing something over and over again when he can’t say it out loud...teh deleting his line chat history ;;; i was torn with this one bc on one hand noooooo, but on the other, it could be representing them starting anew again?? ALSO, they always know how to make the most of the ost in this show (i think it’s the can’t translate/lost in translation instrumental?). i was literally shaking the first time i watched this.

i was actually very worried about how his mum was going to treat him after last ep...i thought she would be angry/ignore him, and i was feeling so anxious about it...maybe bc i personally know what that’s like. that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you’re scared of how they’ll react to you after a fight. teh wanting to make his mum proud is hugely important to him, so when she handed him the plate, i actually let out a sigh of relief. i’m glad that his mum understood and backed him when he needed it most (she may not be fully all the way there yet, but feelings are raw and it takes time). and i already knew hoon would, so i wasn’t too worried on that front.

tarn is so good for teh, and i really see why they were drawn to each other. but i like how she’s prioritising what’s right for her, and also telling him like it is. they need to focus on their studies now and figure out the other stuff later.

teh loitering outside the tutoring classroom before entering sort of reminds me of ep 1 when teh and oh-aew met up for the first time after their first fight...just this time it’s less straight up antagonism between the two of them and more hurt feelings as they avoid each other instead. i also appreciate the gang during this. they’re so normal and encouraging about the whole situation. they know something went down between teh and oh-aew, but they don’t really press too much about it. just let teh know that they’re here if he needs someone to talk to.

the ep 5 trailer played us!!!!!!! i was WONDERING why oh-aew would suddenly say all that nice stuff about bas (not that bas doesn’t deserve the nice stuff, he’s an ANGEL) in front of class, but their teacher was the one that put them up to it. the horror i felt as i watched teh look straight at oh-aew but turn to bless phillip instead and then start on that whole spiel about how phillip “never sees the good intentions of friends as worthless. never says ‘no’ to what friends give you” and how he’ll never leave him because of that. ALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF OH-AEW’S SALAD...STOP TEH. PLEASE. he’s digging himself into this hole himself with the passive aggressiveness again. THEN BAS COMING IN TO STEAL THIS WHOLE SCENE. i don’t think any of us were expecting him to be as forward as he was but omg. he laid it all out on the line in the way that teh couldn’t (at this point in time). i’m really, really glad that oh-aew got to hear what bas thought of him though, and that bas got to tell oh-aew all his feelings. nothing is misconstrued. he’s so brave and the utter respect i have for him increased by tenfold...what a fantastic character. just so sure and convinced in how he feels, and so uncaring of what anyone else thinks. it’s so damn refreshing. and for oh-aew to know that there’s nothing wrong with him at all. that he’s desirable and wanted and loved (it calls back to ep 4 when oh-aew’s sobbing and desperately asking teh “what did i do wrong??” again and again). it must have meant so much to him. the conflict i felt in my heart watching that and knowing that bas would be SUCH a good guy for oh-aew, but also knowing that sometimes that’s just not enough.

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON TEH’S REACTION TO ALL THIS. he’s truly facing the consequences of his actions in this one. but just imagine being in this position, being too scared to own up to your own heart, and then watching this other boy do it like it’s the easiest thing in the world?? like it’s just another regular day?? like it’s nothing?? all to the boy that you’re in love with. to the boy that wanted this exact thing from you, but you couldn’t give. it’s like teh’s watching oh-aew slip through his very fingers, but knowing that it’s bc he never had oh-aew in the first place (and the reason for that is himself). i also really love how no one in class (including their teacher) makes a big deal out of this? they’re all just applauding bc it’s a sweet confession. it would be so jarring for teh to see this acceptance when the fear of society not accepting his feelings for oh-aew is one of the reasons he can’t accept them himself.

anyway, i had like one thought in this next scene and it was just DRINK THE COCONUT TEH. DRINK IT!!!!!!! so nice to see how his fam loves and believes in him.

teh watching on as bas and oh-aew take the first step with their left foot :(((

LOVE how they use the firecrackers going off to represent anytime there’s some sort of shift in teh and oh-aew’s relationship (when they first met, when they had their first fight, and now again when they talk for the first time after the fight and oh-aew tells him teh that he and bas are dating now). it’s such a great way to symbolise the spark and passion of their relationship. anyway, this meeting mostly consists of the both of them trying not to cry as they act civil with one another and skirt around what happened. teh asking about what the deal is with oh-aew and bas is like a parallel with what happened last ep when oh-aew asked about teh and tarn...only this time oh-aew and bas are actually dating...man, this is really not the kind of news you want to hear right when you’re about to sit one of your most important exams ever :/// teh holding himself together until the moment oh-aew leaves and then just having a fucking meltdown over the news :((( as always, it just hurts to see teh torture himself in this way. but esp when he’s supposed to be sitting his exam and he just can’t stop crying in the exam room (been in that position and have almost done the same thing before). when he hadn’t finished his exam and they were like “time’s up, pencils down” the sheer panic i felt at this...ugh. i hate it.

the elation on bas’ face when oh-aew asks him out for chinese new year. he’s the cutest. THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST. and then when he holds oh-aew’s hand????? the boldness of it. he. just. does. not. care. i wish i had that sort of confidence!! oh-aew’s shock at this too. his realisation that it’s okay. that this is okay. and then bas being all “why would i be?” after oh-aew asks if he’s embarrassed. bas is literally giving oh-aew everything that he wanted from teh and more (compare this to that scene in ep 3 where teh and oh-aew grazes hands but don’t hold each other’s hands). he’s proud to be with him and to show the world. and, you know what?? i would do anything in the world for bas to be happy.

AND HERE WE HAVE IT. MY LONG AWAITED HOON/TEH HEART TO HEART. i wanted teh to tell hoon soooooooo badly, so to hear the words come out of his mouth...that his brother was the first person he told. i felt so relieved bc i knew that hoon would support him no matter what. the struggle in teh’s face and words...he fought so long and hard against ever admitting these feelings to someone else out loud that it would have felt so incredibly terrifying, yet also like a weight being lifted off his chest, to finally get them out there. to have someone else know his secret. and to know that his brother loves him unconditionally regardless. “if you like him, you go after him” THE WAY I SOBBED DURING THIS. i really loved what hoon said to teh. he didn’t sugarcoat things and say that everything was going to be fine if teh liked boys too. not every single person you meet is going to be okay with who you are, that’s just a fact, but i loved that he emphasised to teh that HE was okay with it. it’s just what teh needed to hear. and that it might take their mum some time to accept it too, but all she truly wants is for teh to be happy. just the feeling of hearing his brother, someone that he very clearly looks up to and respects, tell him that he can like whoever he wants to like?? that it’s all up to him and he’ll still be there for him whoever he wants to be with?? teh sorely needed that and i’m glad he got it. hoon encouraging him to go fight for his love!!!!!!! i was cry laughing at how teh just starts bawling his eyes out at hoon telling him to go after oh-aew, but then teh telling him that it’s too late for him bc he likes someone else. like from hoon’s perspective, he’s prob just like ‘this is so needlessly dramatic’ and the sibling energy during that whole part is too real. i love them.

watching bas/oh-aew with the rest of the gang and their respective girlfriends really makes you realise how open and accepting they all are. like teh was terrified in the scene just before about how his friends might not accept him and oh-aew, but then you see them here with bas/oh-aew and no one even cares (which i expected bc they’ve been supportive since day one, but it’s just nice to see in practice too). oh-aew teasing them all ahhh. cute. phillip being the relatable only single guy there (me at every gathering i go to with my relatives omg).

THE PIANIST PLAYING SKYLINE. they really wanted us all to be SAD sad huh, and they succeeded. how it pans to oh-aew and this song is yet ANOTHER reminder of teh...you know he’s thinking about cape scene where they were singing and translating to one another. on the day they made their promise to each other :( and teh being there too??????? all alone with his bowl of oh-aew on the table. feeling the exact same heartbreak that oh-aew’s feeling too :( it’s the way that so much of their relationship is beyond words for me. but they’re also both hurting so much that i just want to push them together and make them talk so they can clear everything up.

hoon talking in cute japanese to nozomi on the phone while teh goes through oh-aew’s old worksheets and cries I HATE IT HERE. i love the different ways in which teh has smelt oh-aew’s coconut scent since ep 2. how it evolves from curiosity to desire to him heartbrokenly reminiscing, every feeling changing with the shifts in their relationship.

can i just say that oh-aew’s parents are ADORABLE. but also, finding out exam results is the worst kind of anxiety. was so happy that oh-aew got in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he worked his ass off for this :’))) teh not getting his first pick wasn’t altogether surprising bc it did feel like they were leading up to this. but when he apologised to his mum about it ;;; noooo, she’s so proud of you. as someone who’s been through this process before (and didn’t get my first pick either), it always feels like it’s end of the world when you don’t get the uni pick that you want, but it really isn’t. still, it sucks when you’re in the moment there’s no denying that. but i get that it’s also particularly sad for teh since he’d already basically gotten his first pick before he gave it up for oh-aew. but again, it’s all part of the learning process, and the consequences for his actions. 

BAS BEING BEST BOY EVER YET AGAIN. how he knows exactly how oh-aew feels bc he feels it too, but he never imposes those feelings on oh-aew. he knows that oh-aew’s heart isn’t with him, can’t be when it’s with someone else, and bc he cares that much about oh-aew, he guides him in teh’s direction. it’s never a good idea to date someone who’s hung up on someone else, but i’m glad that they tried at the very least. the both of them did what they could, and oh-aew needed to experience it to know. i’m really glad that bas was there to make oh-aew realise how worth it he is too...and bas deserves someone that loves him back just as much as he loves them. seeing bas cry is the worst experience ever. 0/5. never want this ever again thank u. their hug scene was just devastating, and worse still bc it’s not anyone’s fault...you just can’t help how you feel, and that’s just the way it is sometimes.

idk why but for me, the scene with tarn was possibly the hardest scene for me to watch in this ep. it’s interesting how he’s wearing the shirt that oh-aew was wearing in ep 3 in this scene (with the bold ‘sunset’ lettering). i guess it symbolises him being ready to open up about his feelings on where their relationship is heading? either way, she’s a great friend. she’s so encouraging, and understands him and his ambitions to a tee. the both of them are always filled with such fierce determination. they just know what they want and go for it. but that’s also why these past couple eps have been all the more confusing for teh since he’s always been so sure of himself before. how she tells him that no one can take away his identity and that no one can take his dream away from him?? all these characters just knowing exactly what teh needs at the right time. she’s so incredible. no wonder teh is so scared of losing her as a friend. it’s great that he apologised for how he treated her last ep bc it’s def the least that she deserves. that being said, watching her heart get broken as teh tells her that his feelings for her have changed and asking if they can still be friends...like damn, that fucking hurts. there’s something in tarn’s face in this scene that stays with me every time i watch it, and it’s that heavy feeling of knowing that the opportunity is missed. they had the potential to have been something, but it’s slipped by now, and now they can’t go back to those initial feelings anymore. too much has changed. but it’s also that she, like bas, values teh’s happiness too much. values their friendship so much that even if she’s heartbroken, she can still overcome those feelings of heartbreak bc she cares for teh so deeply and wants to see him happy. despite the pain she’s feeling, she still encourages him to make the first move and talk with oh-aew bc she knows that oh-aew is who makes him happy. anyway, we already established this in my last rant text post for ep 4, but i love tarn with my whole heart and only ever want her happiness too. the purple hibiscus in her drawing for teh was like a final stab to the heart :(((

what i love about bas and tarn is that neither of them are the bad guys in this situation. this drama has no outright antagonist, and a lot of the time in BLs (even in standard dramas in general) that’s what the secondary love interests are used as...a hindrance for the main couple to get over. but the both of them are written (and acted) with such respect and care. it’s really hard not to fall in love with them too. the real conflict and antagonism mostly comes from within teh himself, so this series is his own journey to overcome that. a true coming of age story.

oh-aew in his uni uniform!!!!!!!!!!! cue me constantly chanting “come through, teh” over and over as oh-aew passed the restaurant hoping to see him. and I KNEW HE WOULD. not me bursting into tears as soon as they show him following oh-aew on the motorbike ;;;;;;; he loves oh-aew too much, and this was too important, he was never going to back out on this promise. i mean, he gave up his uni spot for oh-aew so he could keep this promise. technically, if you think about it, it worked in a roundabout way bc teh giving up his place was what made oh-aew decide to do the admission exam again...and better still bc he got into his first place uni all on his own accord. he proved to teh that he could do it like he always wanted to.

love that teh pushes the good luck coconuts onto oh-aew too, like his mum and brother always do for him. it’s cute. when they go to the temple again, and the significance of it being open this time so they don’t have to sneak in anymore????? my heart is FULL. another thing i love is how teh’s kind of behaving like how oh-aew did in ep 3?? being flirty?? almost toying with him?? like that part when they’re drinking the coconuts together, and he sort of slides backwards drinking the coconut, eyes not leaving oh-aew before bouncing away. that’s an oh-aew move okay. and, as always, teh encouraging oh-aew when he’s down bc the sun isn’t out. rival and inspiration. i love them more than words could ever describe.

skyline instrumental is legit the perfect song bc sometimes when you listen to it, it can make you feel like you’ll never be happy again, but then other times (like when they’re walking to the tip of the cape), it’s like a shot of pure hope to your chest. that shot of them going through the trees and right into the open space of the tip of the cape with the sun shining all around them was BEAUTIFUL. the freedom of it all, of no longer being constrained. seriously, these shots of the two of them standing in front of the golden glow of the sun are just *chef’s kiss* so stunning. cinematography on point (but when did this show ever fail me on that front).

“when i gave it, i really gave it to you” I’M NEVER GONNA STOP CRYING. i literally cannot watch this part without getting choked up and/or screaming. they’ve missed each other so much, and it’s piecing the broken bits of my heart after the last 4 eps back together again. THEY’RE FINALLY TALKING.

okay i really have to talk about this scene when oh-aew asks teh “how about you and i?” bc of the war flashbacks i’m having back to the last time this question was asked and how disastrous that turned out. it’s in how oh-aew asks it and reads teh’s hesitancy as teh thinking the same as he did last time...oh-aew’s fake smile (the same smile he put on when he asked teh how things were between him and tarn and teh told him they were pretty much the same) when he thinks that teh still isn’t willing to acknowledge he likes him back. it’s how oh-aew is willing to accept ANYTHING from teh...whether he wants to be friend or a rival...whether teh likes or hates him...as long as teh stays in his life. he’s willing to accept whatever teh wants to define them as bc he’s just missed teh so much and can’t stand to be away from him. and it’s like this is what finally clicks in for teh. that restricting himself this way is only ever going to constantly hurt the both of them. teh finally saw past himself, and realised what this meant to oh-aew. it’s like he’s finally looking at oh-aew and seeing what oh-aew needs most (has always needed most), and that in turn helps him gain the courage to say it out loud bc the love he feels for oh-aew (and for himself) is ultimately stronger than any fear he has about society not accepting them. it’s such a beautiful scene. after pushing back at himself and his feelings time and time again, he can’t deny himself anymore. his character arc has come full circle ;;; everything teh’s done in previous eps for oh-aew has shown how much he really loves and cares for him, so it just makes me happy that he released his breath and let himself be happy. it’s all i ever wanted for him.

the amount of tears i shed at teh asking oh-aew to be his boyfriend...i knew teh was very likely going to give in to his feelings for oh-aew at this point, but this was even more than i expected. that was so SMOOTH. oh-aew bursting into tears after that...SAME. then the hug in the sunset WITH the new ost song. and that last shot of teh’s handwritten full pages of ‘love’...they did the MOST with this and i’ll never ever ever be over it.

then the part 2 announcement!!!!!!!!!!!!! after so much angst, i can barely believe we’ve been given so much in such a short space of time omg. i love how teh’s tie is red and oh-aew’s tie is blue for their respective uni uniforms. ADORABLE

i know everyone was afraid (myself included) that this was going to end sad from the get go. from the trailer to the ost, we were all TERRIFIED bc realistic shows like this often end in heartbreak. we’re so used to it. but i saw someone describe itsay as a love letter to the lgbtq+ community, and i totally agree. it could very well have ended tragic/sad, but instead they subverted our expectations of the traditional ‘bury your gays’/sad gay ending we’re so used to and gave us a story that showed us that there’s realism in happiness too. there are so many struggles and hardships that lgbtq+ people have to go through bc of the world that we live in, but they CAN be happy too. this post that nadao tweeted of teh crossing out the lyrics of skyline and writing “let me set my own destiny“ instead is SO powerful, and shows the immense character growth he’s gone through over the course of the series. it made every single tear that i have shed for this show completely and utterly worth it.

i’ve mentioned this multiple times before, but i’m so grateful to nadao for giving us this drama. literally one of the best dramas that i have ever watched in my entire life. i’ve never felt so passionately about a show before, or been so attached to the characters and their relationships. everything about it...the directing, the writing, the cinematography, the acting, the soundtrack, EVERYTHING has been set to such an impeccable standard i really don’t know how, or if, i’ll ever get over it (prob not). i know i’m not the only one that thinks so, but it’s truly a masterpiece. i hope it sweeps all the awards bc it’s the least that it deserves. moreover, i’m so happy that their story isn’t over bc this cast of characters are some of my fave characters ever and i genuinely cannot wait to see more of them in march next year :’)

#i told sunset about you #itsay #so thankful we still have the documentary for the timebeing!!!!!!!!!! #i need more fill of this show before i have to await the drought #anyway this took longer than expected and i know it's a mess but it was harder to contain my feelings into words with this ep #mostly bc i felt TOO much #so sorry if it's just more run on sentences than usual #rewatching this was me pausing to cry ever five mins love that for me #text #i'm super excited for part 2 but i'm also worried a little bc if they're in uni now it would most likely be set in bangkok #and i'm gonna miss the phuket setting so much #i have faith in the cast and crew to create something different for us though so it'll be interesting to see how they do things #with a very similar setting to most other BLs...like how they change things up #and i know they can bc the writing and directing in this were in another league so i'm feeling hopeful

[chidoroki]

Head empty, pre-TPN season 2 thoughts only.

Normally I don’t even bother with hiding spoilers but since the new season is so close I’ll put everything below a cut (if tumblr cooperates) because I do want anime-onlys to enjoy the season with as little knowledge to what madness is about to happen as possible. This is just a bunch of notes that filled my head over the past couple days.. weeks? A long time.. and if I didn’t write them all down somewhere I wouldn’t stop thinking about them.. so if you understand this whole mess, then kudos to you.

So, here’s your post-season 1/ch37+ spoiler warning.

Demon language:

With Mujika and Sonju making their grand first appearances, I hope actually implement the demon language this time?

The only word spoken in the language in season 1 was the demon god��s name, which was just changed to “Him” (sub) or “The One” (dub), so ignoring it there was fine.

Granted, our demon friends don’t say much in their language during the upcoming arc, aside from this moment in ch48, but I can see the anime passing it off as a mere whisper between the two of them just so they don’t have to worry about it.

I don’t recall any of the GP poachers using the language though.. right? Pretty sure they don’t..

Anyways, all I’m saying is that they better figure something out by the Ayshe shows up way later in future seasons.

Episode count? 24?

Short answer: I don’t think so? Did once, but stuff happened. Anyways..

Season 1 ended in March 2019, which is also when we learned we were getting a second season and once we found later on that S2 was originally going to air in October 2020, I immediately thought we were getting about 24 eps.

I thought with all that time between seasons, 24 eps would be reasonable and that S2 would end at ch101. S1 managed to adapt 37 chapters, so 64 chapters in a season twice as long sound decent enough, right?

By the time we reach ch101, it would give us the demon forest, shelter B06-32, Goldy Pond and the short trip to Cuvitidala. (all of which would make this long wait for s2 sooo worth it btw.)

By this point we learn a bunch about the outside world, Norman being alive, what happened to Phil, and the demon bastard himself.

I bring up ch101 as a stopping point because it’s the last chapter before the two year time skip and.. I honestly can’t see them doing a time skip mid-season?

I mean, they could if they wanted to, I guess? Having everyone age up suddenly between episodes via a montage, a quick summary or even flashbacks of what we missed.. but maybe at the start of a season? Not in the middle.

Right now we know anime original scenes are going to be included into season 2 so I’m kinda hoping that once we do eventually reach the time skip we learn more about the search Emma’s group went on for T7W/golden water/temples.

I counted. If S2 does indeed get this many episodes, ep23 (or 22, if there’s a break in between somewhere or whatever) will land on my birthday and you can bet I’ll be beyond happy

HOWEVER! all the hope I once had about a 24ep season vanished due to the clusterfuck that was 2020. Thanks to the worldwide pandemic, many anime were put on hold and pushed back several months, with TPN airing this month rather than the original October date.

It was a bummer hearing about the delay at first but I never complained about it. I much rather have the studios prioritize their employee’s health over production.

Even if S2 did reach ch101, or even Goldy Pond, they would need to find a ton of new voice actors, and with how the world is working now.. eh, I have some doubts.

Cloverworks also has two other series airing this month aside from TPN so needless to say they’ll be a bit busy, especially if employees are still working from home, social distancing, or however they’re managing to produce these anime.

So, episode count.. 12?

The main reason I have a hard time grasping the idea of another 12ep season at all is because.. I don’t know where it’ll be a decent place for it to stop?

S1 ending at ch37 with the kids escaping? Perfect. You can’t question that decision. But now? When a whole bunch of craziness is about happen? How do you choose another perfect moment to end a season with?

No matter how many anime original scenes they have planned for the demon forest, I believe we’ll at least reach B06-32, which will get us to ch52.

Could they go farther? Sure. Perhaps ending at ch59-60? It would leave us off with Emma & Ray leaving the comfort of the shelter to follow Yuugo into yet another demon infested forest, much like how S1 left off, as the escapees left their once safe, comfortable life into the unknown world.

Or end at ch64? After Emma gets snatched by the poachers? It could work. It would certainly leave everyone wanting more, especially us manga readers because goddamn the GP arc would be SO close!

Perhaps ch74 after seeing Norman alive? Just so it’s not a big darn secret anymore to those who are going into this season blind? (how do people manage to stay anime only? i’m not trying to make anyone feel bad.. i’m just impressed? i caught up to the manga right after s1 because i didn’t have the self control to wait!)

Ending on that chapter would be so bittersweet to me.. because you know what appears in ch75 and it’s literally one of the only things I care about.

S2 preview trailers already teased some of the demon forest scenes I’m most excited about, so the only things left that will truly excite me are Yuugo and that darn outfit. (seriously, whenever we do get to see emma in her gp outfit for the first time, someone better scream at me so i can die from happiness.)

Okay, and all the GP kids too.. especially their trio!

Could they fit the Goldy Pond arc into a 12 episode season along with every other event that came before it? I.. seriously hope not? 

Compared to s1, which was very dialogue heavy, GP is about as action packed as we’re gonna get in the near future, and those scenes are going to fly by once they get put into motion.

Quick example (because it was recent and i can’t think of something else atm): the Overhaul arc from My Hero Academia. Off the top my head it was about 40 total ch? That arc took up half of the show’s S4, which was a total 25 eps.

So with the GP ending at ch96, it’ll give us about 20-30 chapters (depending on where you personally see the start of this arc I guess? once yuugo leads the duo through the forest, when emma gets snatched or when the battle actually starts)

If GP were to happen in s2 where there’s 12 episodes.. literally everything would be so fast paced and I don’t want them to rush anything or leave stuff out?

Other options?

It’s very wishful thinking and I would be getting my hopes up for nothing, because I know it won’t happen, but I could possibly see them fitting GP arc if S2 was made up of 18eps?

6 eps for the demon forest, 6 for Goldy pPond, the remaining 6 to accommodate B06-32, Cuvitidala and any other anime original scenes as they wish.

Although fitting about 64 chapters into 12-18 episodes sounds a bit much.. but not really? I seriously have no idea at this point how much story we’re going to cover this season.

Could I perhaps place all my hopes towards a second cour later this year? Like for the summer.. or would I be expecting too much?

This all could’ve been avoided if they just tell us! Seriously, I’ve been thinking about episode count since last year.. and now you have to deal with this mindless chatter of mine.

I’d honestly be okay with another 12ep season though. We waited this long that I’ll just be excited to see all the children again.

Anime-only scenes:

Those 3 days the children spent learning from our demon friends? Yes please! Did you know Emma not only learned how to use a bow and arrow but a freakin’ harpoon as well? Like.. hello?? I must see this!

Perhaps they’ll even adopt some of the extra pages from some of the chapters, like they did in S1 with the flashback of Norman being sick in ep10.

I know this will be such a high hope, but I remember in ch177 how Emma claims that after they escaped, they all remembered how kind Isabella really was, so if they decide to adapt the extras from ch41-42 & ch45, I’ll cry.

And these pages? Cloverworks, please..

I’m literally begging here..

Especially these two! Even though I still doubt we’ll reach Goldy Pond if we get 12eps.. but in the future! Please!

Other random nonsense:

I may or may not get emotional upon seeing Isabella at the very start when she goes to confront Grandma Sarah. If her hair is kept down as it was at the end of S1 then I’ll give the anime staff my sincere thanks.

We only heard 15 seconds of “Identity” and yet it has been living in my head rent free ever since that trailer dropped. I need to hear the full song sooo damn badly, y’all have no idea.

Here’s hoping they don’t cut out the inner monologues again. At this moment I don’t remember any specific ones from the demon forest I want to see but I’m sure they’re present.

I’m ready to die at every cute Chris moment they give us.. and this entire scene where the kids scold Ray. 

Literally every scene with Emma & Ray. They’re my top 2 favorites from this series okay? Of course I’m going to fangirl over them. (they already showed the hug in one of the trailers and i damn near cried)

If we see him, (which i’m sure we will, but i still have tiny some doubts) I hope they give Yuugo a fantastic voice actor.

Also, his nicknames for everyone!! Literally everything about that man I’m hyped for.

Again, very doubtful we’ll get GP in a 12ep season, but whenever that arc decides to grace us with its presence, “63194” better play on full blast when ch92-93 gets animated.

Speaking of music, while I’m completely excited to hear the new OST that Obata has in store for us (thank god he’s doing this season again btw!), I hope we hear some of those unused tracks from the first season, specifically “Their Own Thoughts.”

Every time Emma mentions their future, their goals or how her family will always be together, I’ll cry. (thanks demon god and your stupid reward)

Yes I’ll be doing those reaction posts (if you follow me i’m sure you’ve seen them by now) after every new episode as I do with other series I watch.. once I survive the usual long day at work, avoiding anything TPN related so I can watch in peace and quiet when I finally get home.. damn it, im already so anxious, help.

#the promised neverland #chidoroki used chatter

[jjsjuiceboxx]

NOT SO SUBTLE

REQUESTED FOR: @www-imbored-com

SUMMARY- You and Drew have grown close filming season 1 of obx, you think you’re starting to love him and you think he likes you back because he is very touchy and he always makes sure he is sitting close to you.

⚠️WARNINGS⚠️: cussing.

A/N: this is just a bunch of fluff, happy reading :).

☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎

While filming season 1 of obx drew was one of the first people you got close with dont get me wrong you were friends with everyone and close with everyone but you and Drew’s friendship was a bit more then the others, you noticed how in the first month of filming season one Drew got a little flirty complimenting you every chance you got “wow that dress looks beautiful on you” which always led to you blushing. By the third month of filming he would open doors for you and always offering his water to you.

6 months into coming you guys held hands hugged and cuddled. In public the people who didn’t know you guys thought y’all were dating but you were not you never went on dates and he never asked you to be his girlfriend. Of course you hung out outside of filming but it was mostly with the group every now and then you two would go out alone.

Currently you were on set filming season 2 you had already done your scenes for the day but decided to stay back just in case they needed you to help or, or help madelyn take pictures and funny videos for tomfoolery, “hey did I show you the photo of Drew I took this morning in the trailers?” Madelyn asked after taking a photo of the sunset with the silhouettes of the pogues in the background looking like shadows “no, but now you said it I need to see it” you said she handed her camera over flicking to the photo and there it was Drew practically passed out in his breakfast burrito “oh my god that is gold he isn’t living that down ever”

Who isn’t living what down?” The man who uses a burrito as a pillow muses at you “oh nothing dearest drewseph” Maddie said laughing and putting her camera away “how was your day?” You asked calming down from laughing so hard you barely saw him today “it was good I missed my lady around, oh did you drink enough water? And eat? I know how you get when you don’t eat food” Drew reprimanded but sweetly you rolled your eyes “yes Drew I ate food dont worry they beast is in hibernation from a food coma” you said Maddie and Drew laughed “ok good we don’t need you to break another window” Maddie said remembering how you were starving you all were but you had it the worst and were so mad at Rudy and chase for messing around you punched a window and broke it then immediately apologized for breaking a window and said you were just really hungry Austin walked to you and literally shoved a hamburger in your mouth and you were so quiet for 20 mins while you at his hamburger feeling so much better ever since then everyone makes sure you ate so you don’t end up splitting them in half.

“Yeah yeah I’ve gotten a lot better” “yeah because we all remind you to eat or shove food in your face” jonas walked over to the three of you “hey guys so we just need the pogues for the rest of the day so it’s a wrap on you guys if you wanted to go and stuff” Jonas said and walked off quickly to direct what’s happening next “I was thinking of going out to this lake where you can rent paddle boards and canoes and stuff, do y’all wanna come?” Drew asked “yeah that sounds like fun I’ve never been paddle boarding before” “I would but I promised I would help out around with everything you guys have fun tho” Maddie said you guys said goodbye and hopped into a car.

Once you arrived you immediately took a picture of the view because it was so beautiful “Drew this is beautiful, how did you find this?” You asked amazed “aww yanno just some tourist site thing” you walked up to the people at the booth for the paddle boards once you got the paddle boards you and Drew started to paddle in the lake “so am I your lady or is there a secret women I need to know about?” You asked Drew laughing “oh it’s definitely you but i dont know one of the set members dog looked really good today” you both bursted out laughing “you’re such an idiot” “oh yeah well can an idiot do this?” Drew questioned before throwing himself off the paddle board and doing a flip landing perfectly into the water.

“No I guess an idiot can’t do that, you’ve proved me wrong starkey im quite impressed” you said clapping for him “good because I’ve actually never done that before and just hoped it would look cool not gunna lie I was trying to impress you” Drew said getting slightly red “well you’ve succeeded tremendously” you said you guys continued talking and paddle boarding deciding to race you lossed tho because you fell into the water.

“Drew look at the view it’s soo pretty oh my god” you said taking out your phone and snapping a bunch of photos you stopped when you heard a camera shatter and looked at your phone confused since you put your silencer on so it wouldn’t disrupt your time with Drew you looked over and Drew is looking at his phone smiling then he showed you the photo it was of you in the paddle boat taking a photo of the view “should I post this and be basic and caption it “she thought the view was pretty but I thought she was prettier” ?” Drew asked making your laugh “oh of course I’m trying to turn you into a white girl that should be the first step” you said you sighed “thank you for saying I’m pretty” you blushed and looked down at your reflection in the lake you guys paddle board was side by side so it was easy for him to take his hand to your chin and make you look at him “youre so welcome, honestly you’ve made this whole experience so great and I just want to tell you that I love you a lot and uh do you want to officially be my lady?” You laughed but said yes and you guys kissed it got a little heated because of all the sexual tension that had been built up you had tongues in each other’s mouths your hands in his hair and his on your bare hips on of the paddle boards almost flipped “maybe we should head back to set, also we took the only car for them to get home in” you suggested drew nodded not being able to form words and off to set you went.

When you arrived you saw everyone waiting all in their normal clothes “dudes did you really kidnap my car?” Austin asked “I wouldn’t say “kidnap” I just borrowed it” drew said air quoting kidnap “whatever you’re not riding shot gun for that and neither are you Y/N” Austin said getting in the drivers side you shrugged “SHOTGUN” chase belted out him and JD made eye contact and JD touched the handle first and sat down “gotta be quicker then that” JD said to chase you rolled your eyes and got in the back Drew got in right after you and you both intertwined your hands together the rest piled into the car and off you went to the apartment buildings.

Once you got on the highway JD plugged his phone in the aux and played music Rudy, chase, and both maddies were singing so loudly you got a lot of confidence from no where and unbuckled your seat belt and straddled Drew’s lap “what are you doing?” He questioned wide eyed “you’ll see just go with it” you mumbled and then started to lean in he surprised you when he met you half way and you continued what you had stopped at the lake his hands were squeezing your ass making you want to moan but you didn’t and you tugged on his hair “uh guys ? Can you like I don’t know maybe not do that?” Rudy questioned looking at you guys he was seated right next to drew one of Drew’s hands moved from your ass and waving off rudy. His hand immediately went back to where it was you felt everyone’s eyes on y’all now Rudy groaned annoyed “Ok you can borrow my car from now on” Austin said chase turned the song louder hoping you would stop Madelyn and Madison laughed you heard Madison say “that explains his insta photo she said showing everyone that he did in fact post it madelyn decided to take a picture and video recording “hey guys you gonna come up for air? She asked you just flicked her off you could hear the video replaying “dude this is gunna be so good for tomfoolery”

You guys pulled up to the apartment but you wouldn’t know cause you were still making out with Drew his hands in your shirt this time and you leaving slight hickies on his neck then going back to his lips and pulling his hair making him lean to the side so you can get better accesses chase turned around when no one got out of the car “yo love birds we are here” chase called but you still didn’t move Madison giggled “wow” Madelyn pulled her phone out again and recorded knowing the look on Rudy’s face meant he was about to do something funny “ok that’s it” Rudy stated frustration obviously on his face and tone because he was squished two on one of his side and then both the maddies to his left side keeping him from getting out of the car “I’m fucking hungry and squishedl” he complained turning towards you and drew who were still kissing you felt a hand on your forehead and then suddenly you were being pulled apart from Drew you opened your eyes to see the same was being done with Drew you moved your eyes from Drew’s to Rudy who was literally pulling you apart by your face “we are here it’s time you stop so I can get out” Rudy said his tongue out so he can focus on pulling you apart once he was satisfied he looked at you since you were closest to the door “now get out so I can get out and get food before I lose my shit” you got out and thought drew would follow but he wasn’t fast enough for Rudy’s liking “oh fuck it” Rudy said before climbing over Drew’s lap and then running to his and chases apartment door.

“Yeah don’t mess with Rudy when he is hungry he gets mean” chase said “much like Y/N just not physical leash not yet” chase mumbled “I’m going to my house to watch tv and for Cheetos” JD said “wait I’m coming, everyone out of my car” Austin said catching up with JD drew got out of the car and came straight to you “I guess this is goodbye” he said sadly “yeah I think it is” you said back just as sad “oh my god you live in the same apartment building 3 doors down calm down” chase said going up the stairs Madison followed to get her shoes she left the night before madelyn still there laughing at the video she got of Rudy pulling you and drew apart.

You hugged drew and went in for another kiss, Madelyn had left by now leaving the two of you out there you both pulled apart and said your goodbyes “goodnight drew I’ll see you tomorrow” “goodnight my lady” drew said you went to move out of his embrace but couldn’t he was latched on you tapped his shoulder but only got a hmm “babe, you gotta let go” you said laughing “I did” “yeah for 2 seconds” you literally had to pull him away from you and turned him around and slightly shoved him in the direction of his house he went to come back to you which led you to turn around and run away from him “Drew I love you but if you hug me one more time I won’t let go” you shouted as you got further away from him you heard him laugh and went into your apartment with both maddie’s you heard your phone ding and saw drew texted you saying that he missed you.

#drew starkey #drew obx #obx fanfiction #obx #outer banks imagines #drews

[spiiderwiick]

Wick had ended up quickly distracted from their chaotic weekend adventure by the haunt tear down deadline. A month to build it all and two weeks to tear it down, clean everything up, and leave no trace behind.

Still, the conversation with Patches was ever present in the back of their mind. In denial? Them? How could they possibly be in denial when they were the one actively befriending monsters? Patches had brought up their friends in that moment too, hadn’t she? What did their friends know that they didn’t?

Wick ruminated on this for a good week of teardown before they finally made the decision to act on it. Who to ask? Nyx seemed like a no-bullshit sort of person who would tell them the truth.. If they could get him to talk instead of tease them about cryptid hunting, especially after the fucking weremoth. They decided against going to him first. There was Cicero, he seemed more likely than Nyx to answer them without assuming they were going on about hunting monsters. Unfortunately, Wick knew those two would be together out here, so there was no talking to one without the other. Maybe Nova. Nova was nice, she’d never judge them. 

Wick found her packing props into crates, getting them ready to be loaded onto the trailers. The starry raven beamed at them with a small wave as they hopped in to help, “Hey hon!” “hey yourself.” Wick smiled and went to grab a few of the heavier looking items for her, “i actually had something i wanted to ask you.”

“Oh? Well I might have an answer for you.” She leaned on the edge of the crate, letting them do the heavy lifting for a moment.

Wick hesitated, wondering how best to word their questions, “so uh... you know how patches is some kind of fuck shit magic clown monster, right?”

“Yes honey, we’re all familiar with the kind of fuck shit magic clown monster she is, especially after Halloween night.” Nova laughed, “What about her?”

“not.. her per se. but uh.. after her and that. weremoth. thing. as she described it. i’ve been wondering a lot about what else is out there, you know?” Wick can’t help but feel anxious about what might come out of their friend’s mouth next, not that she’s ever given them reason to feel that way.

Nova tilted her head ever so slightly, “Is that your question? What else is out there?”

Despite the lack of judgement in her voice, Wick still felt judged, “i guess. i mean... yeah. i mean. unless you’ve seen something i haven’t. then i guess it’d be have you seen any weird magic or monster stuff?”

Nova didn’t reply immediately, but something about the way her gaze drifted told Wick she had something to say. In their anxiety, they interpreted it as something derisive, at least until she waved them closer, “It’s.. A secret, but..”

The raven pulled out her phone from a hidden pocket in her scarf and navigated to her photos. Wick watched intently as she scrolled down to a series of what looked like regular crow photos until she opened them. The crow in question was awfully faint looking. Spectral, even.

"They help me with my work, and only ever seem to want my spare pins and needles in return. I don’t think they even eat.” Her voice was quiet, but she couldn’t hide her excitement about sharing such a big secret.

“nova it looks like a ghost, ghosts don’t eat.”

“How would you know? Are you suddenly an expert on all things magic?”

“well. i mean. no, but..”

“Then you don’t know.” She replied cheerfully, “And isn’t that neat?”

Wick dropped the next item into the crate with a loud clunk, “so let me get this straight, you have a pet ghost.”

“They’re not a ghost!” Nova almost sounded offended. Almost, “And they’re not my pet either.”

“dude if it floats like a ghost and is transparent like a ghost, you have a fucking ghost. they’re a ghost.” Wick started off incredibly serious but their face soon split into a grin, “and if you’re feeding them pins and needles, and they live in your house, then you’ve got yourself a goddamn pet ghost.”

“If they’re a ghost they don’t live in my house.” Nova teased back.

“semantics.” Wick snorted. It felt good to release the tension they’d been holding, “is your pet ghost the only weird thing you’ve seen? cause like. i’m quickly learning how magic and monsters are somehow common as fuck but still rare? or are we just weirdness magnets?”

“Hon, you’re helping me tear down a haunt. You’ve got a severed head in your hands. We are absolutely weirdness magnets.”

That earned another laugh from Wick as they chucked the foam head into the crate, “i know the whole deal is that everyone fits in here no matter how much of an outcast or weirdo they are at school but like... i didn’t think that applied to real ass monsters.”

Nova raised a brow, “Which one of us invited a murderous clown to act in the haunt?”

“look she showed up here all on her own last year. i just gave her something to do that didn’t involve a potential lawsuit landing in our laps cause she decided to get hungry in the middle of the night.” Plus, you know, the whole saving them as a consequence of hanging around the show each night. They couldn’t forget that.

“And the shape shifter? You said he was an eldritch god?” They hated the smug smile that had creeped onto her face.

“benrey is my friend and he’s not even from this world he doesn’t count.”  This had gone in a circle, “you didn’t answer my question!”

Nova laughed as she hauled a few more awkward props into the box, making sure they fit snugly in there, “Wick... Have you ever seen a moth with wings like Nyx’s?”

“uh? nyx? obviously?”

“Hon....” She sounded exasperated in record time.

“what? are you gonna tell me he’s some kind of monster? just cause he’s got weird wings? that’s kinda judgmental of you, don’t you think?” Wick crossed their arms stubbornly.

“I love you but you really are oblivious sometimes.” Nova shook her head, “A lot of people are.”

Wick opened their mouth to speak. Then closed it again. It was one thing having Patches tell them that and something else entirely coming from one of their closest friends. It hurt a little. Part of them felt defensive about it, “well gee, i’m sorry for just assuming my friends are... not monsters???? in a world where monsters supposedly don’t exist???”

They almost blurted out “normal”. That would have been a mistake. They were glad they caught themselves.

“Ah...” The raven smiled, “That’s a fair point, I suppose. Did you think Patches was from some other world too?”

“well? yeah???? obviously? she hasn’t been shy about the fact that she can apparently travel literally anywhere in any universe. so. yeah.” Wick found themselves fidgeting with their claws, even as Nova relented, they still felt judged, “nyx never like. brought up why his wings look like that, so i never asked, you know?” Wick paused, “he’s not secretly actually mothman, right?”

That one got Nova laughing, “No. God, don’t let him hear you say that. I think he’d actually fly you out to the middle of the lake and dump you there instead of just threatening to.”

“but he’s a moth monster?” Close enough to mothman, in their book, especially visually. He had the black and red aesthetic going for him, which was the whole basis of them teasingly comparing him to the famous cryptid all these years.

“Yes, hon. He’d have to explain the specifics to you, but you’ve been friends with monsters for years.”

Wick squinted at her. That was plural, “monsters?”

Nova had a twinkle in her eye, although with her uniquely shaped pupils, she usually did anyway, “I’ll let you figure that out yourself.”

“oh you fucker.”

“If it took you this long to realize monsters were real in the first place, good luck. You’re gonna need it.”

“i hate you.” Wick grinned and punctuated the statement by throwing a foam organ at Nova, who ducked out of the way, laughing.

Patches was right. Their friends had known the entire time. That opened a whole new world of possibilities for them. What else was out there? How many monsters had they run into over the years that they rationalized away as just being weird or eccentric people?

They wanted to know.

They were going to find out. That much they were sure of.

#drabble #f2f

[calocera]

SPOILERS FOR CATS 2019, here’s my hot takes and opinions

be warned, THIS IS LOOOONG

First off my overall opinion, i LITERALLY cannot say whether it was good or bad, like lots of critics say it just...is beyond that. It’s VERY fun and that’s all I can bring myself to say, I have LOTS of problems with it but I can’t even say that they make the movie bad. It is definitely worth watching

OPINIONS ON CHARACTERS:

Victoria: she’s good! I appreciate that they kinda left her personality blank other than her innocence since that’s pretty much how she always was, still not super thrilled with her as a main character but franchesca did the best she could

Munkustrap: I loved him! he was more of a main character than I would have expected, but they STILL cut all the charm from his lines... why do I love him then? Robbie fairchild did AMAZING background acting, whenever he was in frame he was always doing something SUPER munkustrap-y and making cute dad faces. he was dealt bad lines but he worked around it best he could. Also his legs were normal so...epic fail

Mistoffelees: 😒😒😒😒😒🤢🤢🤮 disappointed but not at all surprised...he was just a Woobie, a softboy uwu nice guy. I felt like I was seeing fanon 2013 loki in cat form. THEY MADE HIS SONG A SADBOY PITY PARTY SONG...WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE 11 O’CLOCK NUMBER SLOW AND SAD???? Where is the smug little shit who’s vague and aloof yet confident and joyous? He was murdered by his evil homophobic shadow clone. I’m not even gunna indulge the fact that him and Victoria were a thing, I’ll go over that later. He also just constantly looked like the crying cat meme his eyes were so red and watery it was horrifying, yet somehow he wasn’t the worst character , that leads us too.....

tugger: what.the.fuck.did.you.do.to.this.boy. HE GOT THE TREATMENT I EXPECTED FOR MUNKUSTRAP! HE WAS DEMOTED TO BACKGROUND CHARACTER! not only did he not sing mr. mistoffelees, he literally did nothing other than his song, he never interacted with ANY characters besides jenny in 1 scene. I know cats has no set main characters but he’s undoubtedly one of the most important characters and he’s like...the least important named character in the movie. ALSO Jason Derulo was not sexy at all. There was NO hip thrusting NO sexy meowing NO glamrock, he was just an asshole and if I hadn’t already seen the original I would have either completely forgotten about his character or though he was the worst character. I’m so fucking angy I cannot express.

Girzzabella: ngl I expected better. Her acting was great but with the horrible effects I couldnt get invested but I’ll touch on the effects later. Her singing was good, but I expected it to carry the movie and it wasn’t at all the best song in the movie, I’d say she’s about as good as I expected she’d be but the movie itself was more enjoyable than I expected so she was less significant

Old d: she was fine, she LOOKED the part definitely, she didn’t have as large a presence as ken page but I wouldnt expect that of her. Her singing wasn’t the greatest though, her voice is fine by it’s just NOT suited to old d’s songs. I would have preferred she play a female gus bc her voice is very sweet and frail, not at all built for belting like her songs required.

Macavity: he’s just...eh. He’s basically a comic relief villain which sucks. He does practically nothing besides kidnap people, say a cheesy line, and act like a caricature of a 90s cartoon villain (and not one of the fun ones) like theres a scene where he poofs away and when he does it he goes, MACAvityyyyyyy and fades away its so unintentionally funny but it just makes him so lame as a villain. not to mention he doesnt even die at the end or get any satisfying conclusion he just gets stuck on top of a statue and his powers suddenly stop working (for some reason??)

Bombalurina: fuck that, I am simultaneously glad she only was in the macavity number bc fuck off Taylor Swift but also disappointed bc she deserved so much better.

Bustopher: 😟 never in my darkest nightmares did I think I’d see bustopher Jones deepthroat multiple crayfish but here we are. Somehow THIS was the most sexual song, I cannot begin to name the fetishes checked off by this performance bc itd hit word limit. Let me just say that I said multiple times out loud, “damn bustopher kinda a freak with it 😏😏” like I CANNOT stress how weirdly sexual it gets. And ofc its all otherwise just haha funney fat guy eat food and burp and fall down. He also breaks the fourth wall a few times which like, fuck you

Jenny: exactly what was shown in the trailer. Unfunny fat jokes and slapstick humor. Also they focused WAY too many shots on her cat pussy and I wish I was making that up. Also of note is that the cgi on the rats and cockroaches are drastically worse than the rest of the movie, like not just bad designs the effects are BAD. also they translated they whole gumbie cat fur-shedding as her wearing fake skin over her outfit which would be fine but UHH the fake fur is skin tight??? so it literally looks like shes ripping off her skin and she does it multiple times its fucking terrifying

Mungojerrie and rumpelteazer: meh, they are fine as characters, not quite as energetic as I would have liked but they didn’t massively fuck anything up? The song was horrible, they went against the beat for...some reason? Like it’s a song with a very distinct rhythm and they split up the lyrics so weirdly. I liked that they followed through with the lore of them working for macavity

Skimbleshanks: YES YESSSSSSSSSS HOLY FUCKING SHIT 💗💕💖💞💜😳😳😳😳😳😳😳💜💛🧡💚💖❤️💗 i absolutely CANNOT express how good skimbleshanks made me feel. He looks like a leather daddy with his chains and suspenders and hat and stache, I hate that I’m saying this but uh...mr skimbleshanks sir😳 we were actually screaming it was so fucking good. Watching this movie was worth it just for skimble. Unironically. I’m listening to the song as we speak. It was kinda weird that they moved the tap dancing to this song but that’s more of a detractor from Jennie’s and a plus side to skimbles since it’s good tap

Gus: good! Ian did a good job of course, no one doubted that he would.

Growltiger and griddlebone: not racist but still absolutely horrifying. One of the worst parts of the movie, I actually got squeamish looking at griddlebone a few times that’s how bad she looks

Everyone else: not that good. I couldn’t tell who was who, all their personalities were annoying, I’m on imdb as we speak trying to figure out who even was supposed to be who. Demeter is completely butchered and jemima just isn’t there, doesn’t sing her part, it all sucked man.

Tech talk:

CGI: okay so here’s the thing, the effects are good. GREAT even, the issue is how fucking horrible the designs are. The lack of cat nose, mouth, and hairy cheeks makes them all look disgusting. Also the feet. Holy fuck why do they have feet. THERES A FUCKING SCENE WHERE TUGGER GRABS VICTORIAS FOOT AND SNIFFS IT. IT LASTS LIKE 5 SECONDS. Old Deuteronomy, Gus, and Cassandra (bc she was already bald) are the only characters I’d say look anywhere close to decent, grizabella looks okay in profile but head on it’s all horrible again. its really such a shame bc the sets are gorgeous! i really hope this movie gets some form of recognition for its sets.

the editing and directing was DOGSHITTTTTTT there are SO many scenes where characters just teleport or parts where people are singing and no ones mouths are moving its really distracting

Other things:

it’s OBVIOUS that the critics calling this movie horny have never seen the original. I’d definitely say the movie is LESS HORNY than the play. It IS however waaaaaaay more uncomfortable with its hornieness, so I’d say in that regard YES, the horny stuff is much more gratuitous and off putting despite there being an overall smaller amount than the play. ie everything bustopher jones does

They changed a BUNCH of lyrics for some reason?? Like they cut verses which I understand but there are like a handful of lyrics in almost every song they just...change. like...okay? All changing lyrics is gunna do is make people who knew the songs frustrated when they can’t sing along

the dancing was incredible! shame the cg just fucking invalidates all of it bc your mind doesnt register it as real people doing real moves

OKAY THE FUCKING CATNIP SCENE so when taylor swift showers everyone in catnip they all just fucking start moaning and go FULL HORNY its TOO MUCH like misto full on does an o face like eyes rolled back mouth open  and munkustrap is like ass up panting i still havent processed it im fucking terrified to encounter it again. they cut the orgy? yet added THIS??? k

WHY did they take 2 of the most iconic characters who FREQUENTLY interact and just

a. Never even have them make eye contact

b. Make 1 a background character

c. Completely change the personality of the other one

On the topic of Victoria/misto: I am just still at a loss as to why they thought it’d be a good idea? They completely removed Plato and for what? This? Pathetic. It’s worth noting the weirdly munkustrap has WAYYY more chemistry with both Victoria AND mistoffelees then they did with each other (there’s a part where it looks like misto and munk are about to kiss for some reason?? munk ALSO gets all touchy feely with skimbleshanks???) anyways munkustrap king moments

tldr; its worth watching, the best parts were the sets, the dancing, skimbleshanks, and munkustrp fucking CARRIES the weight of the world with his face acting. the worst things were a big fat tie between bustopher, tugger,misto,jenny,growltiger and griddlebone, and the godawful design choices

#cats the musical #cats movie #cats spoilers #my post

[brokemultidotexe]

Second Chances Pt.7 | JJK

↬ Pairing: idol!jungkook x reader

↬ Summary: Even though it scared you, you knew you couldn’t walk away again. Big Hit allowed you to go on tour with the boys but with the promise to keep your relationship with the boys hidden from the public eye. The saying “good things never last” rings true as rumors of a secret romance makes its way online and suddenly the boys lives are put under a microscope and threats start pouring in. Jungkook does everything in his power to make sure you’ll stay, but what happens when the one thing you feared most comes true? [sequel to Unexpected]

↬ Word Count: 3.4k

↬ Warning/Rating: None/T

↬  Genre: Romance/Friendship

↬  Part: Trailer | Prologue [1 / 2] | 1 | 1.5 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |

You sat on the bed snuggled into JK’s side with your good shoulder. He had decided to choose a scary movie which normally you didn’t mind but every time there was a jump scare your shoulder throbbed with pain. Part of you wasn’t even paying attention to the movie’s story line, you were too busy trying to figure out when to tell him about your shoulder. You felt a little better after talking with Namjoon but it still didn’t keep the anxiety at bay. You enjoyed seeing JK so carefree and now he was going to worry every time you went through the airport which was inevitable.

You felt JK’s hand go to the side of your head and tilt it towards him to drop a quick kiss on the side of it. You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face over the loving gesture. Having spent time apart he was much less reserved in his affections towards you. He now had a habit of randomly leaning in to kiss you while you were talking only to pull back way too soon to apologize and say he just wanted to make sure you were really there with him and he hadn’t finally lost his mind. It made your heart race and butterflies erupt in your stomach, but also a nagging feeling at the back of your mind that you had caused him so much pain when you were only trying to protect the both of you.

JK squeezed your shoulder in affection unknowingly causing pain to radiate down your arm. You sucked in a quick breath and held it making him drop his hold on you and lean back with a concerned look on his face, “What? What happened? What did I do? Are you okay?” his questions firing off so quickly you were barely able to distinguish each question separately.

You breathed out through your nose and did your best to pull yourself together and squash his worries, “I’m fine.” You gave you best convincing smile.

You sat up straight and tried to test your arm slightly but you couldn’t fight the wince on your face which JK saw all too clearly. You could tell he was clearly worried and you knew now was the time to tell him because there was no way out of it. “Why are you lying?” his voice was quiet causing you to turn your head and look at him.

Sighing you turned your whole body towards him subconsciously cradling your arm against your stomach knowing that you couldn’t text Namjoon to help you out right now, the conversation had already started with his last statement. You bit your lip not really knowing where to start, “So at the airport,” he sat up straighter at your words and you continued knowing you had his full attention, “I was walking in the back with the other staff and some of the fans were trying to crowd around you guys. I tried my best to keep them back because other than us there was no one behind you guys to keep the fans from trying to get to you. So umm…there were some overzealous fans that tried to push through so I put my arm out to block them—“

He cut you off, “That’s not your job Y/N, plus, we have people for that.”

“I know, but the crowd was so big and I was worried about you.” You looked down at your hands.

You felt his fingers on your chin tilting your head up so you could see him, “You don’t need to worry about me in those types of situations, okay?” you couldn’t look him in the eyes even though you tried. You felt ashamed that you had let yourself get injured after he expressed just how worried he was about you right before you walked out into the airport. “Is that all that happened?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

You bit your lip and let your eyes connect with his knowing you couldn’t lie about it. You shook your head, “No. When I had my arm out keeping everyone back a fan grabbed it and tried to jerk me away so she could break through and get to you guys. I was able to keep her from getting through but she kept trying to make me lose my footing. She even tried to pull me into the crowd that had swarmed you guys. Her grip on me had tightened so much that her nails literally dug into my arm I couldn’t pull it free. Sejin appeared beside me and in order to break her hold on me he had to bring his arm down pretty hard between my arm and her grip. Once my arm was out of her grip Sejin put himself between me and the fans and made sure that I got into van okay.” You had subconsciously rubbed at your forearm where her fingernails had dug into you. “But what ended up happening was when she tried to jerk me into the crowd I felt a pop and felt pain shoot down my arm and when Sejin had to bring his arm down to separate us it ended up causing even more pain.”

JK’s ears were red despite trying to keep a calm demeanor you knew he was mad, “Sejin sent the physical therapist to my room as soon as I got here. He told me I injured my rotatory cuff and that I need to wear a brace for a while.” JK opened his mouth but you held your hand up already knowing what he was going to ask, “He doesn’t have a brace specifically for this so he’s going to go to the store tomorrow and pick one up. Basically, I just need to rest it so I don’t injure it anymore.”

You could see the gears turning in his head, “I really don’t want you to worry about me in the airports though, okay? I already talked with Namjoon. I know I made mistakes this time and I’m the reason I got hurt, but I promise it won’t happen again.” You chewed your bottom lip waiting for him to say something as he processed everything you just said.

He gently grabbed your wrist and you flinched expecting to feel pain in your shoulder but none came. He gently pushed the sleeve from the hoodie you were wearing up to your elbow. It was the first time you’d seen the blossoming bruise on your forearm and crescent moon indention’s from the fans nails. You couldn’t stop your eyes from looking straight to JK after seeing it. You could see him clenching his jaw before pulling the sleeve back down gently and covering it up. “So Namjoon hyung and Sejin hyung knew about this before I did? Why would you keep it from me this long? You should have told me as soon as you saw me Y/N, actually Sejin or the staff should have told me. If not them then at least Namjoon hyung!” he was extremely frustrated and you could understand why.

You looked down and your hand subconsciously went to rest over where the bruise was on your arm like it was a badge of shame, “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to worry. I know how you get and I don’t want you to be distracted during this tour and risk getting injured. I want you to enjoy it and not worry about me.”

He scoffed at your statement, “Don’t worry about you? I worry about you all the time Y/N. You have no idea how often you take over my thoughts and all the things I think about. I worry that something might happen and you’ll get hurt,” He pointed to your arm, “that being a prime example as to why. I worry about you regretting your decision to come with us and going back home. I worry about whether you’ve eaten for the day or slept enough. I worry about so many things Y/N because I love you and I want you to be happy and healthy, which is the most important thing to me.”

“JK—“

He cut you off before you could say anything, “You always worry about hurting me but you realize you hurt me when you keep things from me, right? You did it Korea and you’re doing it now.”

The guilt and shame still weighed so heavily that tears threatened to spill over and you couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eyes. His hands cup your cheeks and lift your face to look at him. He sighed sadly and wiped the tears away with the pads of his thumbs, “I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I just want you to understand that not telling me something like this hurts me. So please stop trying to protect me. It’s my job to protect you, not the other way around.”

You nodded and he leaned down and dropped a soft kiss on your lips before pulling away. He looked you over one more time before sighing and pulling you into his chest and resting his chin on the top of your head. “I’m not letting you out of my sight again. So get used to having a clingy boyfriend for the rest of your life.” The last five words caused a blush to instantly spread onto your cheeks and you buried your face into his chest.

After he had comforted you enough to where you pulled away feeling a lot better. He kissed your forehead and told you to wait there while he disappeared into the bathroom. You could help but fidget as you waited and you didn’t have to wait long because JK walked out of the bathroom holding a towel that was no longer folded. He waved you over and you got up from the bed and crossed the room to where he was standing.

“Turn around,” he spun his pointer finger in a circle to and waited for you to follow his directions. A towel appeared in your vision and hung out in front of you, level with your belly button, “Put your arm in it and I’ll tie it so you have some sort of a sling, even if it’s not that stylish.” You put your arm in the towel and JK gently maneuvered the towel and your arm so he could tie the towel and try to make it as comfortable as possible. You felt a significant amount of relief now that your arm wasn’t having to use its muscles to keep your arm still and hold it against you.

JK had a huge smile on his face and exuded a sense of accomplishment since he was able to take care of you and lessen your pain, even if it was minimal, “Feel better?”

You nodded enthusiastically and smiled, “Definitely. Should I start calling you Doctor Jeon now?”

He tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, “Normally I only heal broken hearts but I guess I got lucky this time,” he looked at you with such adoration in his eyes, “Should I start taking part in the lottery? My luck keeps increasing.”

You looked at him incredibly confused as to what he was talking about. He smiled and answered your silent question, “I got you back and was able to take some of your pain away. Also, you’re standing right here in front of me and you’re real. I would consider that one hell of a lucky streak.”

Your felt your face heat up at his comments and tilted your head down causing your hair to fall like a curtain so he couldn’t see the effect he had on you. His romantic side had begun to show more and more as time went on, “Who’s been teaching you these lines?”

“No one. I had a lot of time to think during our time apart and I had a lot of regrets on things I didn’t do or say.” He put his finger under your chin and tilted your head up so he could look at you. “Like telling you I love you every day. It was something I thought about so many times and I regretted not telling you every day from the very moment I felt it.” He leaned down and stopped when his lips ghosted over yours and stopped to hover over them and whisper, “That I didn’t take every opportunity I had to kiss you so I would never forget the feeling of your lips or how you tasted. So I could replay the sounds you make over and over again in my head.” He closed the small space that was left between you and slid both hands to the side of your face and cupping your cheeks with his long fingers sliding into your hair and his thumbs brushing against your very flushed cheeks.

You melted into the kiss as soon as his lips touched yours and a sound of content escaped you. He was very careful not to come in contact with your shoulder and you could feel that his muscles were tense while he devoured every inch of your lips. He pulled away leaving you breathless and his breath ragged. You took a step back and opened your eyes to see JK squeezing his eyes tightly for some reason and when you said his name he didn’t respond. You stepped forward again and used your good arm to loop your arm around his neck and slide your fingers into his hair at the nape of his neck hoping it would help him relax with whatever he was dealing with.

“Hey, look at me.” When his eyes met yours the intensity of his stare surprised you. Your throat felt tight as you swallowed, “what’s wrong?” you could barely hear your voice and cursed yourself for how much a single look from him could affect you.

JK shook his head and began taking calming breaths which only confused you more. You cleared your throat quietly to assure your voice would be steady, “JK, talk to me babe. What’s going on? What’s wrong?” when he still didn’t answer your brows furrowed, “Are you mad about my shoulder? I’m so sorry I—”. He put his hand on your lower back and pulled your entire body against his making sure you were pressed against his hips.

His eyes fluttered closed and what sounded like a moan came from his chest. You gasped when you finally understood what was going on. Your grip in his hair tightened when the evidence was pressed against your core. He opened his eyes and looked down at you, “That.” His raspy voice answered between his ragged breaths.

You wanted to say something but every time you tried words wouldn’t come out and you’d just end up biting your lip with so many thoughts running through your mind and a bright blush dusting your cheeks. You were pretty sure that JK could feel just how fast and hard your heart was beating at his confession. He tilted his head forward until it was resting against yours with his eyes closed, “you have no idea what you do to me Y/N.” He sighed and pulled himself back making your arm slide from the back of his neck and stop at his chest.

“Dead puppies. Dead puppies. Dead puppies.” You heard him whispering to himself while looking up at the ceiling.

You couldn’t fight the silent giggle that bubbled up in your throat while he tried to calm himself down. While he wasn’t paying attention you took that moment to let your eyes fall to the current problem he was facing and you couldn’t help but bite your lip as visions of possibilities began to play in your mind.

With your heart racing and a sudden burst of courage you stepped forward and grabbed his shirt and pulled his lips to yours causing him to stumble into you but he easily caught his footing with his hands gripping your hips tightly to make sure you wouldn’t fall. He pulled away and looked down at you, “What are you doing?” his husky voice and intense stare caused a shiver down your spine and you didn’t miss the slight tick his eyebrow made as he watched your reaction.

“I thought I was pretty clear Jungkook.” You tilted your head to the side a little in a silent taunt, letting his full name hang in the air.

The growl in his chest shocked you as his hands instantly threaded into your hair at the back of your head and crashed his lips on yours. He didn’t leave a single millimeter of your lips untouched but stopped every few seconds to speak, “Always. Pushing. My. Limits.” Despite the aggressive nature of his mouth he was still very cautious of your arm. His free hand landed on your hip and gripped it tightly as if he thought you would disappear if he let go.

Without warning he grabbed both hips and lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around him as he backed up to the bed and sat down and helped you tuck your legs on either side of him. His hands slid up your thighs to your hips to pull you closer to him by your belt loops so you were pressed right up against his erection. You nipped his bottom lip and tugged at his shirt before pulling back, “off.” Was all you said and he raised an eyebrow at you.

“You’re lucky you’re injured right now, otherwise this scenario would be very different.” He leaned back some and pulled his shirt off over his head and tossed it aside his eyes never leaving yours. The fact he was shirtless in front of you and was staring at you like he would love nothing more than to devour you caused another shiver to run down your body.

Enjoying the affect he had on you he sported a cocky smirk that made you want to wipe it off his face and prove to him that he was just as affected as you were. You put your free hand against his chest and pushed him down roughly catching him off guard as you continued to sit straight up looking down at him. He tried to sit up but you placed your hand on his chest and ground your hips into him for only a second making him to fall back to the bed with a hiss and a vice grip on your hips. It was your turn to smile at him unable to move from such a short burst of pleasure.

“I swear to god once your better I won’t play by the rules and you’ll be falling apart by my hands.” He said through clenched teeth when you did it for a second time.

A loud knock on the door caused your head to whip around to look and felt relief that no one had welcomed themselves inside like they had in the past. You started to get off him but he pulled you back down and shook his head telling you to ignore whoever it was. You really didn’t want to risk someone like Sejin walking in and seeing you straddling a shirtless JK.

You shook your head, “I don’t want to risk it.”

Once you were off he slammed his fists against the bed, “AISH!” he yelled out. You could tell he was extremely frustrated with the situation. The both of you glanced down to his ever growing issue and you couldn’t help but giggle. “You answer it. I’m going to…” he ground out, “I’m going to have to perform a miracle.” He groaned and went into the bathroom and closed the door.

You straightened your clothes and opened the door to see Namjoon standing there, “Hey did you still need me to be here?”

Before you could answer JK opened the bathroom door with half his body hanging out, and an incredulous look, “What?!”

AN: No you’re not seeing things, I actually updated so soon after posting Pt.6. I hope you enjoy this fluff filled chapter and enjoy the break from angst lol. Unfortunately, i do come bearing bad news…My original plan was to take this semester off from school and do things i enjoy like writing. Well, my job had different ideas and I am currently having to study for a very had certification test and for the next two months will be swamped, but if i can squeeze in a chapter or two I will do my absolute best. I hope you guys understand because I’ve been getting a lot of messages about Second Chances and what not so i will do my best to try and keep up with it.

here is a tag list form if you want to be added in the tag list, hopefully this will help to make sure it doesn’t get lost in the sea that is the tumblr dashboard.

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[psyga315]

Fixing RWBY Volume 5

Well, here we are. Volume 5. The hot mess that helped spark a new generation of critics. Sure, Volume 6 also had its share, but it was more focused on Adam and the Bees. Volume 5 destroyed a lot of things and caused people to voice their complaints. It was so bad, RT had to literally appease the public by giving them exactly what they want. You ever wondered why Ruby suddenly gained prominence as a character in Volume 6 or the sudden focus on Blake and Yang’s relationship or even Penny’s return?

But why is Volume 5 so bad? Well, I made a lengthy post about it, but the long story short of it is that a combination of RT’s over ambitiousness of RWBY, its lack of resource management, and the writers clearly having no idea how to pace scenes out led to a Volume that felt more like the writers just wanted to get it over with and failed to live up to its core theme. I brought this up time and time again with my tweaks that each of the volumes carried with it a certain theme.

Volume 1 was about beginnings and friendship, Volume 2 was about stepping into danger, Volume 3 was the theme of falling, Volume 4 was the theme of picking yourself back up, Volume 6 was outgrowing your mentor’s advice, and Volume 7 was about trust and fear. What’s Volume 5’s theme? Well, from the interviews mentioned in the Reddit post and the opening song, the theme revolves around solving problems on your own and, most importantly for this rewrite, shouting “We’re not done here!”, which, if you’ve seen Volume 5, went more like this:

“Let’s wait until the bad guys call us to fight them. Then we’ll cry about how things aren’t going our way until this guy goes about feeling up- I mean, healing up this girl.”

Obviously, this needs to be changed. Unlike the other tweaks where I change one or two major elements of a Volume and mostly shuffle things around for better coherency, this is just gonna outright be a full rewrite, since while I mostly let things go as they are, the problem with Volume 5 is that nothing should go as they are.

In fact, all the tweaking I did is basically building up for Volume 5. All the bits where Ozpin is untrustworthy? To better sell Yang getting all pissy about BIRDS. Hazel’s appearance? To make him a much more prominent character. Everything in regards to Adam and the White Fang? To set up a better closure for the White Fang subplot. It’s all been to try and fix Volume 5. If Volume 3 is the lynchpin for which all other Volumes try to imitate, then Volume 5 is the lynchpin for which all other Volumes try to avoid being. Like I said, RT had to basically give viewers a shit ton of cookies just to make up for how bad Volume 5 was.

So, instead of going by this arc by arc, I’m gonna go the more traditional route and rewrite the Volume episode by episode. My obligatory recommendation is a mishmash of Volume 5 rewrites that Unicorn of War made. I mean, he made about 3? 4? I lost count.

Episode 0 (Trailers)

Okay, these need to be changed. The point of a character short is to highlight the character’s strong points. Not make them weak or focus on someone else. Ruby’s character short did this, Adam’s character short did this, the original trailers did this, so why the hell did they drop the ball with Weiss losing to common undead mooks and Blake listening to a backstory that isn’t even in the show proper?

So, we’re going to change all this. Weiss’s character short has her fighting against the Beowovles and she manages to win. Winter comes by, but points out how sloppy she was and reveals that she held back. She then gives a foreshadowing line of “if this were a real battle, you’d most likely be bleeding out from that last blow.”

Blake’s character short goes more into detail of what happened to Ghira. Namely him getting gunned down by random humans and in a later scene, Blake fighting them to get revenge, only to stop herself. Adam steps in and personally finishes off the humans, which causes Blake to realize just how much of an asshole Adam is.

Yang’s character short is somewhat the same, but drop the stupid plotline of Ruby learning hand to hand, since RT wants to pretend it never existed to begin with. Also, let’s not have Yang’s aura flicker and tell the Audience she has no aura when you literally just explained a day or so ago that no aura means no semblance.

Alright, now let’s finally get into it:

Episode 1

We open right where the stinger of Volume 4 leaves off with Jaune and co visiting Pyrrha’s mom and dad and dropping off a spare shield that RT joked about in an interview that forever scarred the Floof Artist and blurred the lines of if RWBY should be an anime or a cartooooooooooon. It’s meant to set the tone for this Volume as we get a brief bit where Ruby and Qrow explore the rest of Mistral and not just look at mat paintings. Also, show that it’s in a state of chaos instead of two people with some bamboo heart plant thing.

We also have bits that catch up with our cast. Weiss hears a distress signal and much to Pilot Boi’s demands, she commandeers the ship and flies to them. Blake and Ilia meet for the first time since the fight and Blake argues with her on why she’s vouching so much for Adam. Ilia only warns her to leave Menagerie before she gets hurt and leaves before Blake asks for details. Yang and Heather gang up and get Not!Bakugou to drag them to the bandits.

RNJR and Qrow meet up with Lionheart, who fills them in on the crisis as Qrow tells him that he had to explain the Relics since Ozpin is no longer with them. Namely, Mistral has tons of Grimm going around, not helped by bandits who are making bad matters worse. When Qrow mentions that the Spring Maiden is among the bandits, he nearly has a heart attack. “Bandits are one thing but magical bandits!?”

He also answers Jaune’s question with the same response: “Nothing but lies and forgeries.”, which makes Jaune angry and openly complains about it before Ruby tries to help him. “Hey! We may not have gotten what we wanted, but people here need our help.” When Ruby says this, Qrow decides to inform the group about the possible home base of Raven’s tribe. Note that he does not mention that she’s Yang’s mom nor do they know. Lionheart is a little startled and warns that they only have one shot at this and if they fail, Raven’s tribe will scatter into parts unknown, if they haven’t already. He tries to get them to stay, but Ruby is insistent to stop Raven at the very least, with securing the Spring Maiden being a secondary mission, not asking why she’s important, since she kinda got the idea from Jaune when he recounted how Ozpin forced the Maiden powers onto Pyrrha.

As they leave, Lionheart sighs and warns Watts about it, only for him to say that this game of chess was out of his hand to begin with. The most Lionheart can do is provide the team with the one Huntsman who is at his Academy…

Later that evening, Qrow goes for a drink while RNJR prepare for their mission. He is approached by Oscar and Lionheart. Lionheart says that Oscar had arrived at Haven days ago and refused to leave when he’s told that school’s out for the summer. He leaves Oscar to Qrow while saying how “a day out in the field is worth a week in school.”

As Oscar is alone with Qrow, he asks for his cane in a voice that is not his. Ending the episode there.

Episode 2

Lionheart informs Salem about RNJR arriving at Haven with Qrow and that they’re on their way to retrieve the Spring Maiden. He advises Salem to act quickly, but Salem hushes him (no, she does not strangle him) and says that she’s got the situation under control. She then advises Watts that he is no longer needed at Mistral and is to return to Evernight before the others find him. Watts uses the Seer to teleport and he and Cinder have a bit of a snarkfest now that Cinder can talk before Watts leaves to make Tyrian’s tail.

Cinder then asks Salem to personally be the one that kills Ruby, only to be warned that Ruby’s Silver Eyes are a hazard to her. “She is merely a novice with the Silver Eyes and yet put you on death’s door… I don’t want you to get hurt again.” Cinder just flares up and goes “I. Won’t.” And storms off.

Weiss battles with Lancer Wasps like in the original, but she’s acting on initiative so people are being saved. Battle proceeds like normal, but when Weiss crashes the plan, she and Pilot Boi survive before being kidnapped by Raven.

We cut to Adam and Sienna doing their usual talk, but instead of Sienna going out like a bitch, she actually has a battle with Adam because I assume in this universe, RT knows better than to fuck up like this. I’d compare it to Maul vs. Vizsla from the Clone Wars.

Meanwhile, Ruby and co. are ready to depart before Qrow approaches them, drunk, with Oscar, who quickly informs the group that they may know him better as Ozpin… Cue Jaune becoming shocked at first… then turning into outright rage. End episode.

Episode 3

We open with Kali making a speech on Adam’s plans to destroy Haven Academy and the rest of the Menagerians hesitant to step forward. One of the guards approaches Kali, then stabs her. In the chaos, the guard runs off, then appears through the crowd, shedding her disguise and revealing herself to the audience as Ilia, who gives her whole “Now is the time to side with Adam” speech and also reveals how her parents died in the dust mines. This goes into a brief scuffle between Sun and Ilia that Ilia gets out of by disguising herself as Blake when Blake joins the fight. This is where you can do that Blake slaps Sun bit, but instead, it’s Ilia who slaps Sun.

We then cut to Jaune slamming Oscar against the wall and shouting: “YOU BASTARD! HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!?” Ruby tries to pull Jaune away, but he won’t budge. Oscar, still in Ozpin’s voice, gives the explanation that he is able to reincarnate but hides why or how he can do this. In fact, he hides that his “reincarnation” actually means his soul becomes linked to another’s, much to Oscar’s chagrin. He explains that Lionheart has been very sketchy and warns not to listen to what he says. He then advises that they should move quickly. Note that he doesn’t say that they need to train, since the training arc goes nowhere and we need to not only streamline this but make it a lot more entertaining. Ozpin then de-possesses Oscar, who cries about his hurt back, immediately bringing Ozpin’s methods into question for Ruby for the first time.

Weiss awakes to find herself in a cage next to Pilot Boi, who just gives her a comedic calling out just before Vernal and her troops come in and drag out Pilot Boi. Vernal looks to Weiss and tells the bandits “she’s important. Leave her be.” Weiss asks what’s going on as Vernal tells Weiss about how she’s going to be used as a bartering chip. For what, we don’t know yet, but it’s clarified that she’s not being ransomed back to her father. Vernal then explains that Pilot Boi is merely a spare and that they can do what they want. As she says that, she goes to Pilot Boi as he is held down in front of Raven. Vernal approaches Pilot Boi as Weiss looks on in worry. We then end the episode with a crash of lightning.

Episode 4

Heather and Yang get ambushed, but beat up the gang with ease, then enter the tribe, though not without seeing Pilot Boi’s charred corpse crucified outside the gates as a warning for intruders. Heather and Yang get their weapons ready.

We cut to RNJR, Oscar, and Qrow, who are walking to Raven’s camp. Along the way, Oscar is given a lecture from Qrow on Aura, namely on how to activate it. He then asks Ruby, as she’s the youngest of the group, if fighting is as easy as huntsmen make it out to be. Ruby gives the naïve answer of “of course!” though Jaune brings up how inexperience is discouraged. As Oscar grows afraid of Jaune, Jaune sighs and apologizes. “Sorry, I’m not entirely sure what’s going on with you and Oz right now… I don’t hate you… Just the voice inside you.”

“I know… I hate it too…”

Qrow stops them and tells them they’ve arrived.

Cut to the tribe letting Yang and Heather in where they confront Raven… Heather questions if she’s the one responsible for not just the destruction of several villages, but also the disappearance of huntsmen too. Already, this should send warning flags, but Yang decides to ignore them.

Yang: Take off that mask, Raven.

Raven: Is that anyway to treat your mother? {Heather gives a WTF look}

Yang: My mother is dead and you know it.

Raven: {sneers} Regardless. You’ve proven yourself by coming out to find me. I guess you grew tired of Ozpin’s teachings and wanted to join the winning side.

Yang: That’s not why I’m here.

Raven: Then why are you here?

Yang: For my sister.

Raven: Well, hate to disappoint you, but she’s not here.

Yang: That’s why you’re going to bring me there with your Semblance. It can create portals with you and a close bond, right?

Raven: So… you know about that. Well, unfortunately for you, I don’t respect that brat enough to make a portal.

Yang: {eyes go red} Don’t talk about my sister that way!

Raven: What’s so important about her anyways? From her eyes, she’s already a lost cause for that Ozpin.

Yang: What do you know about Ozpin? You got kicked out the moment he saw that you’re using his teachings to kill innocent people!

Raven: Is that what Taiyang told you? Foolish. Simply foolish. I didn’t get kicked out of STRQ. I left STRQ. I’d rather use those teachings for better things than what Ozpin had in store. He turned my brother and your ‘mother’ into his personal attack dogs and put one of them down when they got too gabby.

Yang: {about to go into a frenzy} You shut your mouth!

Vernal: Are we going to have a problem?

Yang: {sees she has Myrtenaster} W-where did you find that?

Raven: {nods to Vernal, who goes over to reveal a caged Weiss} We had anticipated your arrival since you stepped foot on Anima. The fact that one of your friends just so happened to be close by gave us the perfect bargaining chip.

Yang: What are you going to do to her?

Raven: Nothing, if you join us. {Weiss looks at Raven, having suddenly figured out that’s what Vernal meant}

Yang: And if I refuse?

Raven then signals Vernal to execute Weiss. Just then, Ruby intervenes and speed blitzes her. Weiss then breaks out of the prison with her summon as JNROQ come in. The group is surrounded by bandits as everyone quickly finds out that Raven is Yang’s mom. Ren is the first to attack, seeing Vernal and believing her to be the child he made friends with back in Kuroyuri. This begins a massive clash that is sure to sate the appetites of those who want to say “RWBY’s about four girls who kick ass” and give a taste of what’s to come.

The group have little time to figure out what’s going on. Just that Ren, Weiss and Nora are fighting Vernal (this is where you have Weiss trying to summon only to get shot by Vernal), Jaune is battling some bandits with Oscar and Heather, and Ruby and Yang try to fight Raven, only for Qrow to interfere and say that Raven’s on a whole different level. Raven retreats and after battling some bandits for quite a bit, Hazel comes out of the tent. Turns out that Fort Castle (the place where Adam fought Sienna) was not too far from Raven’s base. Ruby and Hazel reunite briefly before Hazel apologizes and enters the fray. He makes everyone his bitch and that’s without the Dust Crystals. Heather and Qrow are the only ones to give him an even fight, but he quickly overwhelms them too thanks to his Semblance.

While the group manages to fend off the bandits, it’s clear that with Hazel, Raven, and Vernal, they need to make a retreat, especially since Raven asks Hazel to bring in “that Adam boy”, making Yang go full PTSD mode. However, before they could leave, Hazel defeats Heather. Ruby protests that he shouldn’t kill her, but her pleas fall on deaf ears as he finishes Heather off. Ruby begins to cry and asks why he killed her. Hazel just replies “She made her choice.” The group retreat back to Mistral as we end the episode with Raven going back into the camp as we see that a Seer Grimm is inside her tent.

This reveals a rather big twist: Raven is also in league with Salem’s crew, acting as Huntsmen removal instead of Tyrian and Hazel (since they were too busy with their stuff in Volume 4) and it also explains why Salem and the others aren’t as hard-pressed about the Spring Maiden as they should be. They already have her in their grasps and, were it not for Cinder getting Silver-Eye’d, Cinder would have immediately gained the Spring Maiden powers.

Episode 5

After that rollercoaster of an episode, the story relaxes with Sun trying (comedically) to get people to join in the battle for Haven, only for Blake to stop him and tell him that it’s futile. She just visited her mom, who is currently recovering in the house, and tells Sun that they should just give up and leave. Sun refuses, since he wants to give Adam a thing or two about giving Faunus like him a bad name. Were I to completely redo Sun’s character, I’d definitely see him as Claude from Fire Emblem: Three Houses.

Blake then explains to Sun who Ilia is, complete with a Burning the Candle-like flashback. This is where her backstory comes in. She then explains who Adam is. We don’t get a flashback and even so, she knows little about him. Just that he came to the White Fang one day, asserted himself, then when Ghira was assassinated, took the reins of the White Fang, leaving Sienna Khan to be a puppet leader. As such, Blake believes that she’s the one who made Adam the monster he is, when audience members can obviously tell that’s not the case. It’s just Blake putting herself down and Sun points out how this is probably something Adam said to her to make her feel small. If you’re not getting it by now, Sun is basically where Blake learns a lot of Adam’s tactics from and eventually, she becomes a much better person at handling Adam’s BS. The reason why he knows all this is from his own personal experience. To ensure there’s no “mystery box” element, I’m gonna nip it in the bud and say his father’s the RWBY version of King Louie… Which given how he sings about wanting “man’s red flower” and how people compare Adam to Mowgli because he killed Sienna Khan…

Oooooooh, this could be really cool but this is a tweak, not a fanfic. FOCUS! … I want to say that Adam was an experiment by Vacuan scientists (read: shamans who prefer using Dust as science) before being dumped to the Schnees as part of a deal and that’s how we got his Semblance being as weird as it is.

Back at Haven’s dorm, RWYJNR are shaken up from the battle, not to mention Ruby having personally seen her friend’s father murder someone before her eyes. Oscar himself is rather shaken up. Qrow is the only person unfazed, but that’s because he’s always drunk instead. While everyone takes their time in recovering, Ruby and Oscar talk about the future, as Heather was an experienced Huntress. This is where the infamous speech comes in, but Ruby doesn’t blame Salem for killing Penny and Pyrrha, rather she blames Cinder, then mentions how she’s a pawn of Salem and expresses doubt if they could beat her.

Cut to the Albains. They have no communications with Adam and so they have to move on their own. One of them decides “let’s kill Kali!” and the other’s like “uh, isn’t that going to cause people to turn against us?” “No, no, it’s okay dude, they can trust us!” all while Ilia is like “… wtf?” and Yuma’s like “only here for a few minutes, use me effectively.”

Episode 6

Qrow investigates and finds that all the other Huntsmen have met unfortunate ends and all assigned to the same quest: stop the bandits. He mutters about how Raven could do such a thing, only to find a young girl crying and asking for her mother. It’s made clear that this is Heather’s kid and Qrow, for the first time in a longass while, begins to feel remorse, if only because he mistook her for Ruby.

We cut to Raven as she has a meeting with Vernal, Hazel, and Adam. It’s clear that RWYJNR are gonna try and return and rather than prepare for a rematch, Raven proposes to nip it in the bud. She also dotes on Adam a bit, saying how he is better than Yang in every way possible. We don’t know the full extent of what she means just yet, but we’ll find out later.

Ren and Yang have a chat about Raven. Ren’s absolutely pissed that Yang’s mother is the person who torched his town and stole his friend (he assumes she’s kidnapped and is being forced to fight against her will) while Yang is just as irritated that Raven tried to use her friend as leverage. Weiss copes with having seen someone die in front of her and Nora comforts her, casually joking that, if Vernal tried that on her, she’d be sorry. Ruby, Oscar and Jaune discuss on what to do going forward, having Ozpin come out so that they can get some sort of advice, much to Jaune’s chagrin.

Ozpin, however, refuses to speak. Before Jaune could get upset with Oz, he cites that even walls have ears. Cut to Yang as she sees a red-eyed raven outside her house. She quickly remembers the red-eyed raven from Patch, both the one that screamed at Ruby and the one that was there when she lost her arm. She instantly goes on the defensive as the bird flies through the window and changes to Raven. Yang asks how she can do that and she merely says “Oz did this to me.” End of episode.

Episode 7

Everyone rushes in as Raven brings in her proposition: Surrender Yang and she’ll spare the rest of the group. Refuse and they will have the fight come to them. Ozpin interjects and offers Yang in trade for the Spring Maiden, to which everyone, Qrow included, goes “WHAT THE ACTUAL F, DUDE!?” The two have a little back and forth as Ozpin makes clear that she chose to have these powers and points out that if she was salty about being able to turn into a bird at free will without any drawbacks, he could gladly take them back by force. This casual threat is enough to make Raven back off, only to warn the others that a storm is coming.

With that, Ozpin is forced to explain quite a bit. This, unfortunately, is where we can’t mince the scene, since Ozpin has to explain what’s going on. I guess the only way to make it more effective is a little back and forth where the characters share what they do know about Ozpin’s magic and Ozpin fills them in on what they don’t. First and foremost, Yang is not upset about Ozpin and BIRDS. The person being upset is Jaune, especially since Ozpin reveals that not only did he create the Maidens in the first place, but also that by “reincarnate” he meant inhabit the body of a young boy. This is made worse when he reveals accidentally that he is able to reincarnate earlier than intended if he chooses to die instead of being killed.

This sets Jaune off since, as far as he can tell, Ozpin is responsible for Pyrrha’s death more than Cinder. Cinder may have killed her, but it’s Ozpin who not only put Pyrrha in that position, but also paved the way for Cinder to overpower her. Before they could get into a tussle, Yang shouts and has Ozpin promise “no more lies, no more half truths”. He obviously lies about promising that and Qrow can see the crossed fingers behind his back.

We then end with Cinder and co arriving to make negotiations with Raven.

Episode 8

The beginning actually stays the same, all things considered. The only massive change is that Yang is not easily convinced to want Blake back because Weiss told her “lol, my mummy was drunk so shut it”. In fact, we see the others talk about Blake and Jaune is the most bitter, even more than Yang, because Blake was a White Fang member and refused to share any information regarding them, which could have led to an easier time dealing with the Fall.

Ruby puts her foot down and tells Jaune to stop being so salty over Pyrrha’s death, but is quickly outvoted since Ren and Nora are also upset that Pyrrha died. She’s frustrated and goes to interrupt Qrow and Ozpin discussing what to do regarding Raven. She asks Ozpin what he knows about the Silver Eyes, saying how it’s the only thing that might incapacitate Vernal. Ozpin tells her he doesn’t know too much about Silver Eyes, as he did not have any himself, but reassures her that the Silver Eyes would have no impact on a Maiden.

Raven and Cinder chat and Cinder makes it clear that it’s time for the Spring Maiden to relinquish her powers to her, reassuring Vernal that she can make it quick and painless. Raven stops Cinder and says that Ruby and the others have set their sights on the Spring Maiden and that if she were to take them now, she’d have a target on her back, reminding Cinder of the Silver Eyes. She then makes a proposal. Salem has given them a blank check on how Haven falls since they have all the cards on the table, so why not kill two birds with one stone… Or rather, kill one crow and seven kids with one army?

Blake’s bit with Ilia stays the same as well, but the difference is that Ilia wants to keep Blake for herself instead of sending her to Adam, saying how she can keep her safe. Yes, this edges her more into the Psycho Lesbian route, but unintentionally. She genuinely cares for Blake’s well-being and not in some sort of yandere bit. Sun intervenes and the group runs back to the house while the guards have a war with the White Fang.

Episode 9

We instantly kick off the Battle of Menagerie instead of a long, drawn out sequence of Raven talking with Cinder. It mostly stays the same, but how the house catches fire is different. Blake sees Ilia in the dark, shoots her and goes “rly?”, though, in the middle of this, the Albains begin to fight amongst each other.

Corsac is willing to kill the Belladonnas for the cause (“THEY’VE GIVEN US NOTHING BUT GRIEF!”) while Fennec is trying to convince him that Adam is a lost cause and they need to replace him. During this scuffle, it’s revealed that Corsac was the one who set up that roadside ambush that killed Ghira, believing that Ghira was weak and that they needed a stronger leader ready to give the Faunus much needed progress. Fennec tells him that all it’s given them is chaos.

The two clash and set the house ablaze. Ilia realizes that Blake would be in immediate danger and struggles to save her instead of seeing the assassination to the end, thus redeeming her as she nearly dies saving Blake. Sun sacrifices himself to get Kali out of the burning building, but its revealed to have been his Semblance at work. When Sun shows up, Blake finally slaps him for realises, and this time, for good reason.

Blake gives her “humans didn’t do this” speech, Ilia playing a recording of Corsac’s hand in Ghira’s death, and this motivates the crowd to fight for Haven. Fennec emerges, heavily burned and carrying his brother’s tattered cloak. He has much to atone for and offers to remain on Menagerie with Kali to establish a new White Fang, giving Blake the task to destroy the old one. Ilia, Sun, and Blake go with the Menagerian army to Haven, with their captain, having comedically been neglected all Volume, finally getting the spotlight… He’s going to steal Robyn’s line of “still here, everyone” because honestly, that has a better spot here than in the show proper.

Episode 10

Lionheart messages the crew that Raven had left Vernal at his office and they go. They know full well it’s a trap and so Qrow elects to stay behind in bird form. Lionheart instantly stammers and freaks as he sees kids and not Qrow.

Lionheart: W-where is Qrow?

Ruby: I don’t know if you’ve heard of us, but we’re Teams RWBY and JNPR. We’ve accomplished many things without an adult to save us or tell us what to do-

Weiss: Uh, technically-

Ruby: {whispers to Weiss} Ssssh! You’re ruining my groove! {speaks to Lionheart} Even though we’re incomplete, our friends are by our side. And that’s why… {she points her sniper rifle at Lionheart} We’re not going to fall for your tricks!

As she fires, a fireball comes out and there’s a large explosion as Cinder flies through the smoke. The Battle of Haven begins as, one by one, the villains enter the fray. First Cinder, then Emerald and Mercury, then Raven and Vernal, and lastly Hazel. Lionheart is reluctant to fight, but Oscar forces his hand.

Meanwhile, outside, Qrow is attacked by Adam and the two duel it out for the episode. Maybe have Qrow quip a line like “so, you’re the one who severed my niece’s arm? Well, why don’t you give me a leg?” and some joke about equivalent exchange that would be funnier if Vic had voiced Qrow in this universe.

I’m not gonna sugar coat it, the Battle of Haven, at least in the opening act, is a battle royale and one that V5 should have been. We have six people going up against six people, each of them taking turns at their opponents and switching out every now and then, the only consistent battle pairings are Qrow vs. Adam and Lionheart vs. Ozpin. By the midway point, though, the fight has been finalized to…

· Jaune vs. Cinder

· Ren vs. Raven

· Weiss vs. Vernal

· Nora vs. Emerald

· Yang vs. Mercury

· Ruby vs. Hazel

Each of them gives their own reason why they’re fighting. Jaune and Ren want to make their opponent pay, Weiss wants Vernal to give her back her weapon (yeah, she never gave it back), Yang is angry that Mercury framed her, Nora tries to help Ren but is interrupted by Emerald, and Ruby fights Hazel to reason with him.

Eventually, the battle comes to a head when Emerald uses her illusion powers and Ruby witnesses it. She quickly realizes she caused Pyrrha to dismantle Penny and goes ballistic. Before Emerald knows it, she gets speed blitzed and beaten up by Ruby’s fists. Ruby then chops off Mercury’s prosthetics as soon as she notices them, knocking both out of the fight. It then becomes a little one-sided as Nora helps Ren fight Raven and Yang helps Ruby fight Hazel, where Ruby gives her “I’m angry” line.

Jaune nearly getting killed by Cinder, along with Weiss’s aura running out and screaming in pain, causes Ruby’s Silver Eyes to go off as it begins to burn Cinder. Cinder gives her a fireball to the chest in desperation, destroying Ruby’s aura and leaving her venerable for a hit. Jaune swings his sword and, while he misses like in the original, gives Cinder a deep cut on her cheek, right below where the burn is. Qrow’s fight with Adam knocks him into the room and Adam waltzes in, giving Yang the PTSD trip of a lifetime, not helped by Adam gloating…

“I didn’t realize that when we fought at Beacon, I was facing Raven’s own daughter… Now I know what she means when she said I was the superior child!”

Boom! Plot twist! Adam’s Raven’s son! Well, adopted son. But still!

Also, Cinder decides to make Jaune’s life a living hell by trying to stab Weiss… But Ruby runs and takes the blow for her, ending the episode.

Episode 11

The episode starts off rather similarly, with the exception of Ruby being the one that’s mortally wounded. Jaune cries and says “we need you!”, which given what he said in Volume 4, fits better.

The major remainder of the fight is focused on fighting Hazel, Lionheart and Adam, as Emerald and Mercury are still out of commission and Cinder, Raven, and Vernal f off to the vault. The two prove to be a powerhouse, especially since Hazel powers up Adam’s Moonslices and Lionheart handing Hazel more Dust Crystals. Ruby heals up and tells Jaune “whatever you’re doing, don’t stop”, only for Jaune to go “then don’t take my hands off the wound!”

Pretty standard battle and we have a reveal that Raven was the true Maiden.

Episode 12

The battle comes to a second head when Blake’s army arrives, forcing Adam to leave the battle and confront Blake. His fight happens like before, but Blake appears behind him instead of in the path of the blade.

Hazel, meanwhile, is not tiring out for a second. Not even a stab from a Lancer is enough to take him out. Ruby comes to and evens out the battle by speed blitzing him. Yang and Blake meet each other for the first time, but as Yang tries to reconcile with Blake, not only is she reminded of the bitter words she gave her in V3, but Adam’s presence makes it a hard-emotional hurdle to break. As soon as Oscar warns Yang that the Relic of Knowledge should not fall in to the wrong hands (during this, he explains what’s so important about the Vault), Yang goes after Raven, Cinder, and Vernal, much to Ruby’s dismay. She ends up losing her arm from Mercury grabbing it.

The Battle of the Bitches remains unchanged because it is GOAT.

Episode 13

The final episode of the Volume (because Volumes 6 & 7 are also 13 episodes long) has Blake defeating Adam, with Sun breaking off one of his horns because Monkey King. Sun gives chase, only for Adam to almost kill him were it not for Ilia saving Sun. You can have it so that Ilia is killed by Adam here.

Blake joins in and we have a fight scene with Hazel & Lionheart vs RWBJNROQ. It’s short, but everyone gets a hit in. Ruby realizes that there’s only one way to stop Hazel. She flies over and aims her sniper rifle at the Dust Crystals on Hazel’s arms. Weiss and Blake hold Hazel down with Glyphs and Shadows as Hazel looks at Ruby. He quickly realizes what she’s doing and asks:

Hazel: What do you think you’re doing!? What would Gretchen think of this?!

Ruby: … You made your choice.

BANG! As the sniper rifle hits the crystal, it triggers a chain reaction that causes Hazel to explode, killing him in the process.

Cut to Yang and Raven. The two have a stand off as Yang begins to piece everything together. We have a flashback of the fall of Kuroyuri, this time from the little girl’s perspective. She’s upset since she brought the Bandits to the place and caused enough havoc to have it be destroyed by Grimm. She protests this to Raven who, having run out of patience for her, stabs her and says how she’ll use her powers in ways she can never imagine, mirroring how Cinder killed Pyrrha.

Yang bitterly calls out Raven for murdering a child and Raven claims it was mercy. They get into a heated argument, but no one wishes to move. It becomes apparent that, with Raven out of aura and Yang without an arm and also having very low aura, this battle will not only be quick, but deadly. And yet, the battle lasts for a good chunk of time as the two try to avoid getting hit, Yang out maneuvering Raven while Raven uses her magic. It ends with Yang delivering a fatal punch to Raven’s gut as Raven lays dying in her arms. Raven warns her that, should she take the Relic, Salem will hunt her down. As such, she refuses to give her the Maiden Powers and dies without Yang in her thoughts. Yang goes to get the Relic, then begins to cry.

Emerald awakens from the sound of the explosion and finds that she is out numbered. She goes all “CINDER WILL TAKE ALL OF YOU OUT!” before Yang comes up and devastates Emerald so much, she makes the Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Salem. However, this isn’t a jump scare. Rather, it’s a full-on boss battle as RWBY try to face it like in the opening. While they realize it’s a hallucination, their mind makes it so real that one hit from it is enough to knock Yang out.

Lionheart sees this and, deciding to be brave for the first (and last) time in a long while, stockpiles the remaining Dust Crystals he has and tells the others to get out as he deals with the illusion. Before they do, he tells Oscar to tell the others about his betrayal. Although he was brave in this final moment, he wants everyone to know he was always a coward. He then sets the crystals into overdrive and explodes, taking both him and the illusion out, but also collapsing Haven’s main hall down and with it, the entrance to the Vault.

The group are confronted with police and concerned Faunus… Cut to a few days later as Menagerian Faunus are welcomed with open arms and news of Lionheart’s heroic sacrifice makes headlines. A manhunt is put out for Adam, Emerald, and Mercury, with Cinder being presumed dead.

After having rested for a bit, Ruby confronts Jaune about wanting to kill Cinder and tells him that she doesn’t feel anything good when she hurt Emerald and Mercury and even feels horrible for having killed Hazel. Nora and Ren join in and tell Jaune not to doubt himself for a second. Basically, that bit in V7 is here. RNJR disbands, but not without a tearjerking remark from Jaune where he says that “at least one team is back together”… Not bitterly, surprisingly enough. Oscar joins in and asks Jaune if he’s willing to take him in. Jaune asks for his name so they can figure out how to name themselves and when he hears that it’s Oscar Pine, he just chuckles and says “Well, there’s always JNPR…”

Blake and Yang are clearly shown to not be back together, but Yang is willing to let Blake stay for now because that’s all that matters. Weiss and Ruby talk about Ruby sacrificing herself for Weiss and she chews her out in a rather sweet way. Qrow, meanwhile, pours one out for Raven. She may have been a bitch, but she was still his sister. Oscar comes and calls for a meeting. With the vault no longer accessible for the time being and the Spring Maiden having gone to someone random, they have no choice but to leave for Atlas. There’s a pause before Weiss goes “WHAT THE FU-”

Roll credits.

DVD Exclusive Episode

This is where we have the STRQ flashback episode now that one of the core members is dead. It is a simple how they formed and how they eventually left, with Raven leaving STRQ on her own terms soon after she’s inducted into the shadow war, Summer leaving on her final mission assigned by Ozpin, and Taiyang retiring as a Huntsman. Qrow, the last one, laments on how everyone he loves is gone and is driven to drink more, foreshadowing to his alcoholism spike in V6. Ozpin comes to him and gives him a rather heartwarming speech about how time heals all wounds, using RWBY and JNPR as examples of this.

As he ends the speech, we end on a small girl in the middle of Shion village, now going through a rebuilding, before her eyes flare up and she begins to use gusts of wind to help clean up the debris.

And that’s how you tweak Volume 5. Granted, a lot of stuff has been changed and makes at least one hole in the V6 Tweak, namely the DVD exclusive episode for that. To which I say… Make it an extended look at the beginnings of Remnant 2.0. Apparently, there was a lot more information RT couldn’t squeeze into The Lost Fable, so do that.

With that, the Tweaking Series is finally done. I don’t think I’ll do V8 unless it proves to be just as problematic as V7, V6, or V5. This has been a rather entertaining ride and I hope you guys loved these entries. Adios, amigos.

#RWDE #Rewrite #RWBY #RWBY Rewrite