#but the thing is i think the four of them WERE idealistic and naive in season one

[cogitoergofun]

A red Mazda sped past a police officer’s unmarked car stationed at a tree-lined Staten Island intersection. The officer inside, Mathew Bianchi, clocked the Mazda at well over the limit and prepared to make a stop at a nearby streetlight. But the car blew through a red light. Bianchi turned on his siren.

Behind the wheel was a woman in her late teens or early 20s. As Bianchi began to explain why he had stopped her, she handed him a card.

The police unions distribute the wallet-sized courtesy cards — sometimes referred to as “get out of jail free” cards — to members, who in turn pass them out to friends and family. Bianchi had been instructed to let card carriers off without a ticket.

By the time he pulled over the Mazda in November 2018, drivers were handing Bianchi these cards six or seven times a day. But this woman’s card was a little older, a little tattered-looking. It was difficult to make out the contact information of the officer who had given it to her, which is usually written on the card’s back. So Bianchi did the wrong thing, which is to say, the right thing: He wrote the woman a ticket.

Although Bianchi didn’t know it then, he had just begun what would become a yearslong struggle to do the job the way he thought it should be done. He had inherited his moral obligations — and a strong dose of stubbornness — from his grandmother, who raised him on Staten Island. But he had no family in the Police Department, and no one who could tell him what to do when its leadership began to turn against him.

The month after he stopped the Mazda, a high-ranking police union official, Albert Acierno, got in touch. He told Bianchi that the cards were inviolable. He then delivered what Bianchi came to think of as the “brother speech,” saying that cops are brothers and must help each other out. That the cards were symbols of the bonds between the police and their extended family and friends.

Bianchi was starting to view the cards as a different kind of symbol: of the impunity that came with knowing someone on the force, as if New York’s rules didn’t apply to those with connections. Over the next four years, he learned about the unwritten rules that have come to hold sway in the Police Department.

“I was a little bit naive and I thought that, if I’m doing the right thing and I’ve done nothing wrong, it’s very hard for somebody to articulate being able to punish me,” he said. “Doing the right thing — obviously, it’s effectively killed my career.”

[...]

When Bianchi first moved to traffic, the courtesy cards didn’t bother him. “The way they sell it to you is, ‘Move on to the next person,’” he said. “‘Letting this person go is fine.’”

There was no shortage of people who deserved tickets. Quotas are officially banned, but Bianchi said he was required to issue six tickets daily. He made between 15 and 20 stops to get there. The job was straightforward, with no training necessary. “They just threw me out on my own and that was it,” he said.

He caught on quickly. He learned that if the location of his cruiser was identified on Waze, the Google Maps alternative, he should move to another spot to retain the element of surprise. He developed a gruff, no-nonsense persona to encourage compliance. People hate receiving traffic tickets, but Bianchi didn’t find the encounters particularly nerve-wracking. He felt he was doing what needed to be done.

But the thing he could never learn was how to tolerate drivers who had courtesy cards. Some were polite, but others were irritated about even being stopped, let alone ticketed. A sergeant’s wife refused to hand over her driver’s license; instead, she just stuck her card out the window, without looking at Bianchi.

And card-toting drivers didn’t learn from their mistakes — why would they? — so Bianchi found himself pulling over the same people three, four, even five times. Bianchi stopped one teenager about a dozen times; he got so familiar with the family that the kid’s father began sending him holiday greetings. (The kid is now a police officer.)

While Bianchi usually refrained from writing cardholders tickets, there were times when he just couldn’t help himself. As the months went by, he developed a reputation.

“I would get bashed on Facebook, I would get bashed in the cop groups,” he said. Retired officers called him a loser, and worse.

“You’d rather HURT a legit family member than write one (1) less summons,” one wrote.

He got in trouble with supervisors, too. Drivers would complain to the officers they knew, who would complain to Bianchi’s bosses.

Bianchi, for his part, complained about the courtesy cards to anyone who would listen. His friends in the unit all vented about them in a group chat, save for a union delegate who sat out those conversations. But Bianchi was the only one among them who repeatedly raised the issue with supervisors; he even filed complaints with the city’s Department of Investigation and the Civilian Complaint Review Board, which examines police misconduct.

“It’s widely known that if you write the wrong person you will face consequences,” he wrote in one anonymous complaint he drafted on his phone. “All it takes is for a boss to make a call or a delegate to go to a chief and this poor officer doing his job is out of his unit.”

[swanqueensalad]

everyone who interacted w my morgana post asking what would happen if she’d done it, idk if u were serious but i want to ramble so. 

if she actually had gone through with it in to kill the king... arthur would have had to become king before he was ready. it'd be tough, he'd struggle, he'd break down, he'd make bad decisions, but ultimately merlin would stick by him and give him the support he needed, and gaius would be a big help too. this is merlin's destiny after all, to guide him and support him. 

morgana would feel incredibly guilty. not for ridding the country of a ruthless tyrant, but for causing arthur so much grief. when she sees him break down at uther's funeral and sees the strain the crown has put on him, she'd break down and confess what she did. i'm not sure what arthur would do at this point. depending on his mood at the time or how much merlin was able to talk him down he'd either banish her - until his love for her hits him and gwen and merlin talk to him and he understands why she did it, and he ultimately lets her come home - or he'd avoid her until his feelings of anger and betrayal cool and he comes to those conclusions by himself. 

because of this understanding and forgiveness, she would feel safe enough to confide in him when her nightmares start to spill into accidental magic. he'd be shocked and those feelings of betrayal will come back up, but ultimately he loves her so much he'll have no choice but to accept her, and promise to keep her safe. he won't change any laws yet because he still feels too inexperienced and scared, but he will give her support and understanding. this means she doesn't experience that terror and isolation that eventually leads to her leaning on morgause and becoming 'evil.' 

instead, she grows closer with arthur, who she helps rule, closer with gwen who learns how to help her, and closer with merlin who is impressed and proud of her honesty. arthur knowing about morgana's powers will get him questioning everything his father taught him, and thinking that magic is something you're born with, and not inherently bad. 

merlin, having supported and actively encouraged and helped arthur through all of this, will eventually feel brave enough to confess his own powers to him. arthur will be shocked - he's been through a lot in this timeline, a lot of secrecy from the people he loves - but again, he has no choice but to accept it and now two of the closest people to him have come forwards, he knows for certain magic is not bad, is not evil, and is not a reason for fear or hatred. 

together, arthur, merlin, morgana and gwen would unpick uther's laws and create a camelot in which magic is celebrated, not persecuted. this young arthur would not be alone on the throne. his friends would help him, and each other.

#is this super naive and idealistic? #possibly #but the thing is i think the four of them WERE idealistic and naive in season one #and that if they were given power to change things for the better #together they would have done it #they could have had everything honestly #psa this is not me saying morgana was wrong Not to have killed uther in tktk #she was legitimately reminded that she loved him (abuser or not) and that ARTHUR loved him and her father loved him and #yeah #i get it #i'd also have got it if she did it #yanno #merlin #salad rambles #merlin ramble #merlin rant #morgana #bbc merlin #morgana pendragon #arthur pendragon #merlin ot4 #katie mcgrath #uther pendragon #merlin meta #kinda #merlin au #kind of #guinevere #merthur #armor

[pumpkinpaix]

Hi, pumpkinpaix....don't know if you remember, but I've asked before of your top 5 fav mxtx characters, and you've answered them. If you don't mind me asking, can I ask you, why you like those characters? Sorry, if I ask you similar question again......

hey, no problem!! :D I like talking about my favorite fictional people haha. since 15 characters is a bit much, I’m gonna just take a sample of the top four out of the 15. :)

1. Lan Xichen

I think most everyone following me at this point knows that I am always on my lxc defense thesis bullshit, but: look. i’m defensive of him! I love him! and I think that he occupies a really tragic and important place in the narrative. I remember I said before somewhere that I think there are three characters that are portrayed to be paragons of virtue/goodness within mdzs and all three were met with tragedy: jiang yanli, xiao xingchen, and lan xichen, but that the tragedy isn’t meant to show that kindness only meets with tragedy, or that kindness is always naive, or that kindness is stupid--I think it’s meant to show that kindness is not always rewarded because life is not a fair game. however! that doesn’t mean that kindness is useless! again, just--kindness is not always rewarded, but its absence devastates. that’s something we see again and again: if only people had been kinder to jin guangyao or xue yang or whatever etc etc. perhaps things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did. I think that’s a something the narrative says pretty explicitly. what could these people have been if they had been afforded a fair shot? what could these people have been if others had acted more like jiang yanli, or xiao xingchen, or lan xichen?

anyways, I also find that lan xichen is often held to incredibly bizarre standards that don’t plague jiang yanli or xiao xingchen, and it feels telling in some way about how we (speaking from an american?? perspective i think) think about and treat the concept of compassion. that being compassionate is stupid and foolish and idealistic and exasperating. that being jaded and bitter is somehow a mark of intelligence and worldliness. I care very much that lan xichen isn’t that -- that he’s an incredible cultivator, warrior, sect heir, that he’s respected by everyone! but that even in all of that, he chooses to continue acting kindly.

this isn’t well-worded, but like. you get the idea. also: he is Big Relate, what with his intense eldest daughter syndrome, conflict resolution strategies, and the way he struggles with and makes his moral decisions. in his position, I would have made pretty much all the same choices in mdzs as he did for very difficult and upsetting reasons. i just. lov him ok.

2. Xie Lian

tbh, just take a look at this post aslkdjf. my love for xie lian is adjacent to my love for lxc, with the added bonus of: xie lian is capable of immense, terrible cruelty as well. if lan xichen is about the need for kindness in the face of an imperfect world, then I think xie lian is about the sheer cost of it. what does it take to be kind when you want to be cruel? when you have every reason to be cruel? when you have the means to do great harm? ugh. 

3. Yin Yu

god, how do I start with yin yu? yin yu really exemplifies, to me, how intensely complicated your feelings towards something or someone can be. I think that his deep hatred for quan yizhen is just as real as his very deep love for him, and that the existence of both at the same time is a constant torment. for me, someone who struggles A Lot with holding complicated feelings towards people (my brain DESPERATELY wants to put things in a “good” or “bad” box and when something is complicated it tends to self-destruct), i really loved seeing that kind of... intense conflict? in a character. because there’s no part that ever says he’s ACTUALLY just resentful or he’s ACTUALLY just loving. no part of his emotional turmoil is a untrue, but so what? so i resent him, so what? why should I choose to act on that emotion rather than another? idk. it’s a choice. and yin yu makes it. ugh. god i love him.

4. Gongyi Xiao

he is Simply Best Boy. [spoilers for SV] I think what I really like about gongyi xiao is that he’s.... like, quite simple in his motivations? he's just like. a Good Guy. he’s talented! in any other situation, he would be the protagonist of his own story. he’s not bitter about losing, he’s diligent, hardworking, kind. he’s disappointed if he fucks up, but he also tries his best. idk he’s just like! he’s just sweet. I like that a lot. and i also, in a weird way, really like his death. it’s so inconsequential. why was he killed? because he was there. because it was convenient. a boy talented enough to be a protagonist in his own right, but his story ends offscreen, without drama, without fanfare, and for so little reason. that’s a different kind of tragedy. you know that bit in the adventure zone?? not all exits are equal? sometimes, it just happens. idk. it really got to me, to learn that gongyi xiao died for no reason, alone, unaware, unexpectedly, and then to never hear of him again. gah.

#aaaAAAAAA #i just love them!!! i love!!! them!!!! #lan xichen #xie lian #yin yu #gongyi xiao #mxtx #mdzs #tgcf #svsss #cyan dlc #thanad-zid #asks and replies #mine #mymeta

[ad1thi]

2020 fic recs!! [Part 1]

this idea was stolen from @iam93percentstardust cuz i just,,,thought that this year was absolute shit and it would be nice to make a fic rec list of fics from this year that helped me through it. this will be over a range of fandoms and ships, but all fics were written this year. 

fics are ordered by the month they were published. ive tried to keep to five fics per month, but this is not obviously all the fics ive read that month - i just didn’t want to make this insanely long. 

im releasing the first half of this on the 1st of December, and the second half on the 1st of January 2021 - because otherwise it would just get so long (and also so i will actually have fics for December)

happy reading!! hopefully you find fics on this you haven’t read yet

***

January

The cat is mighty dignified (until the dog comes by): @five-wow

Steve and Danny find them on the pillow in the corner of the dining area, where Eddie is on his side, ass half on the floor because the pillow is more cat-sized than lab-sized, and Pickles is nestled between Eddie’s front legs, essentially being spooned and looking very I-got-the-cream about it. Pickles’ head is tucked into the crook of Eddie’s neck and Eddie’s head slots perfectly on top of Mr. Pickles’, like a furry jigsaw puzzle.

“They’re cuddling,” Steve points out, unnecessarily.

Or: There is a love story unfolding under the McGarrett roof.

Captain ‘Socialist Rage Muffin’ America: @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah

It takes three months of dating Steve Rogers for Tony to understand why Aunt Peggy once shot at him in sheer frustration.

Alternately titled, Honey, I committed treason again.

The Best Laid Plans (Of Mice and Men): @arboreal-elm-ash-oak

His Dark Materials AU

It was Annalise who noticed their small visitor first.

“Tony,” the spider daemon said softly, skittering up the collar of his dress shirt, two of her eight legs resting delicately against his cheek, “Don’t startle them, but I believe we have a guest. Look, by the coffee table.”

Fourteen Million to One: @tunastorks

Six months after Thanos, six months after Tony’s death, six months after Steve returns to his own timeline, Tony Stark turns up on their doorstep.

Brewed Awakening: @iam93percentstardust

Two years after he comes out of the ice, Steve is drifting through life. On his teammate's recommendation, he decides to go back to school where he meets the grandson of an old friend. He finds happiness with Tony but Steve won't be in Boston forever and someone is out to hurt the Starks. Will Steve and Tony be able to reach their happily ever after?

February

the young, the reckless and the foolish: @bruciewayne

In most universes, they don't know each other, not in the slightest, or they hate each other, in a way that's perfectly logical for anyone who were to find themselves in a similar situation.

In this one, they've known each other since they were four years old and naively idealistic.

This is them over the years, against the odds.

a giant sign: @areiton

“Think you can get him to open the weapons division up again?” his CO asks, his voice hungry and Rhodey laughs because this--

“No. Tony hung up his weapons.”

“That’s not what the suit says,” his CO objects, and Rhodey shrugs.

Tony has always had rules, rules he expects the entire world to live by.

And then there was Rhodey, slipping under them.

my heart is driftwood, floating down your coast: @nethandrake

Tonight, there’s a stranger in his backseat. That’s not unusual.

He’s also sad. That’s not unusual either.

What is unusual is that the stranger is silent.

(One night, a stranger enters Steve's taxi. Nothing is the same again.)

Just A Cold: @/delighted 

There’s a new text waiting for him. It’s from Steve of course, and it’s vaguely threatening as most messages from Steve are these days. Still Danny ignores it, and now he’s really playing with fire. Maybe it’ll burn the cold out of him.

Or, Danny’s sick, and Steve can’t stay away. The usual comfort fluff. With a little cameo from a gently meddling Grace.

An Unexpected Guide: @/Rachel500

Danny Williams has hidden his Guide status to keep being a detective, but his time of hiding is up when he unexpectedly finds his Sentinel, Steve McGarrett in the midst of a tragedy.

March

Why don’t we (Collide the spaces that divide us): @five-wow

When they finally catch sight of each other again through the milling crowds, they’re both a little worse for wear. Danny’s left side is covered in glitter and every time he brushes a hand over his hair, more blue and purple confetti rains down. Steve is- Well, Steve is randomly shirtless, which is all things considered not excessively remarkable, but he’s also covered in smudges of colorful paint and has a very nicely printed bloodred lipstick kiss mark on his cheek.

“What did you do?” Danny asks, because it looks like Steve had a lot more fun than he did.

Or: Steve and Danny accidentally end up in the middle of something entirely new.

A Little Unsteady: @finduilasclln 

Written for the Tumblr prompt meme : "Hey! I was gonna eat that!"

Tony lashes out at Bucky for eating his dessert. Only, it really isn't about the dessert.

a national treasure: @starklysteve

Steve isn't looking for an apple and Tony decides his passion is to inspire young souls. -x- OR: the AU where Tony is a Youtuber and Steve is Captain America and somehow they still save the world together.

April

cycle through: @ambivalentmarvel

Twenty-five years ago, Tony Stark disappeared from his family home a month after the tragic deaths of his parents, Howard and Maria Stark, leaving a billion-dollar tech conglomerate without an heir and the world wondering what happened.

Twenty-three years ago, HYDRA gained another super soldier.

Ten years ago, Peter Parker’s parents died in what is ruled as a home invasion gone wrong but he knows was murder, plain and simple, because he spoke to the killer.

And in the present, Project Insight fails, and the Iron Soldier pays the price.

FOREVER-LOVE YOU-I: @/Eudoxia

Tony Stark is twenty-one when he loses his voice. It shouldn't matter, but in a world where the first words your Soulmate says to you are marked on your skin, it can be pretty damn annoying.

Especially for Tony's soulmate.

--

Companion piece to my fic Thumb, Index, and Pinky Extended. This is Steve's POV, with a few extra scenes, as a treat.

(Edit: Sorry if you guys get multiple notifications for this. I just realized (about two hours after posting it) that I fucked up the grammar in the title and I HAD to fix it. YOLO, I guess.)

come build a home out of me: @maguna-stxrk

Steve clears his throat.

“What if I went with you?” he asks nonchalantly, like his heart isn’t threatening to beat out of his ribcage.

Tony blinks a few times, looking at Steve, his mouth ajar. “As a— As my date?”

“Yeah.” Steve nods, feeling a little breathless.

“You don’t mind?” Tony furrows his eyebrows.

“I don’t. In fact, you can just tell them I’m your boyfriend. I’m sure they’ll back off, wouldn’t they?”

What.

“I— Huh?” Tony stares at him, brown eyes blown wide open.

What. What. What.

“Huh? Uh, I mean— You know, that way people will see that you have definitely moved on. Monica will see that you have moved on. Right?” Steve smiles, hoping that it masks his inner panic, because what?

Steve Rogers, what have you done?

i don’t have a choice (but i’d still choose you): @nethandrake

There’s a name inked onto his chest, a name written in an all-too familiar scrawl. And it’s— It’s—

Steve doesn’t realize his body is quaking until he’s tracing the tattoo with a shaky finger.

Because of course that is the name etched into the skin. Like a brand, a reminder for everything he has done. An appropriate retribution.

Anthony Edward Stark.

(When Thanos snaps half of the universe away, he unknowingly leaves the other half with soulmarks.)

ua haʻalele ʻoe iaʻu (a ua hoʻomālamalama ʻoe iaʻu): @just-fandomthings

"The truth is, I was shot in the chest and nearly died, and not even three days after I was released from the hospital, you up and left-- and of those two, I'm not sure which one hurt me worse!"

(Coda to 10x22 because come on, we all need a better ending than the one given to us.)

Title loosely translates to: "You left me in the dark (you lit me up)" -- inspired by the brilliant song "Say You Won't Let Go" by James Arthur

May

A Piece Of The Past: @hddnone

It had been so many years since Bucky had gone undercover in the Stark family's mob, he thought he'd gotten away clean.

Then Tony Stark slid into the seat across from him at his breakfast diner, and Bucky's boss has a new case for him.

the privilege of loving you: @starklysteve

“Why won’t you let me touch you?”

It’s a desperate plea, half-shouted and half-whispered, Steve’s voice cracking at the end. Tony stops in his tracks, halfway to the stairs. He doesn’t dare to turn back, and he really doesn’t want to fight, or to leave, to spend the last month of his life away from his husband and their son. But Steve can’t know, can he?

-x-

Or: Tony has palladium poisoning, but he doesn't tell Steve and Peter

your pillow feels so soft now (but still you must advance): @firebrands

When Bruce is 13, he decides to go to boarding school. It's an opportunity for him to learn about other people, and how to interact with them.

Bruce has the misfortune of meeting Tony Stark upon his arrival in Roxbury. Bruce is moving into his room, and Tony opens the door of his room to watch. He looks a bit younger than Bruce, hair wild and eyes bright. Bruce has never seen a boy like him before—handsome and confident.

Bruce doesn’t like it.

IMPORTANT: This fic has them meeting at 14, then progresses slowly until they’re 17. Includes underage drinking and kissing.

This is set before Bruce becomes Batman and Tony becomes Iron Man and I have no explanation as to how or why they just DO Canonically, Bruce is 17 when he finishes school and goes around the world to train, so we're sticking with that

The Real MVP: @sword-and-stars (part of a series)

[“I have saved this Tuesday!” Sokka announces, rattling the bag upon reentry.

Zuko doesn’t even look up from his phone as he deadpans, “It’s Thursday.”

Okay, so Sokka is still having trouble getting his days right without checking. At least he’s gone back to sleeping at night! Going to bed at night is way easier when you have a cute, cuddly boyfriend who starts falling asleep around eleven o’clock. It also helps that he and Zuko are on solid gold butt-touching terms.

It’s been a while since Sokka has been on butt-touching terms with someone and it’s amazing.]

Or,

Sokka knows a guy, gets laid, and introduces Zuko to the merits of an afternoon delight.

When is a bed not a bed? (When you’re not in it): @riotwritesthings

There’s a tiny safe house, with one tiny window and one tiny couch.

And one tiny little bed.

June

Nice Fingers: @anthonyed

A single compliment given by Tony stirs Bucky restless until he caves in and asks him out on a date.

With Steve’s help of course (whether he likes it or not).

The Darkest Touch: @starkrogerrs

This is the story of how Steve finds that it has been ordained that he is to marry a monster he cannot resist aka the God of Love himself, Tony.

It's Cupid x Psyche retold, but with thrice the amount of porn.

The Night Shift:  @weethreequarter

Welcome to the Emergency Department of San Antonio General where Dr. Tony Stark joins the team fresh from his most recent tour in Afghanistan and - much to the consternation of the other staff - strikes up an instant rapport with Nurse Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, new resident Bruce Banner refuses to give up on his patient, and Dr. Sharon Carter learns something from her own patients. Throw in a pissed off hospital administrator, Clint using the coffee pot as a mug again, and a major car crash and you have, well, just another night shift.

Wind Beneath My Wings: @iam93percentstardust

Sam first meets Tony Stark in 2005 when he joins the EXO-7 Falcon program.

In jest: @/apathyinreverie

“No, babe,” Danny shakes his head with a grin. “If the apocalypse were to go down while I’m elsewhere for some godforsaken reason, then you stay put and I’m coming to wherever you are.” His grin widens. “And I expect you to have cleared any aliens or zombies or whatever else might be messing with us off the island and to have set up a nice, comfortable military dictatorship for us to rule over by the time I get back.”

It’s a joke.

Of course it’s a joke.

Until it isn’t.

(A the-day-after-tomorrow-style apocalypse AU, where the world decides to end right when Danny is visiting one of the other islands with Grace. Because, of course, it does.)

#adi's rec list #mcdanno #stevetony #buckytony #brucetony #rhodeytony #zukka #samtony #january - june #there's so many different ships on this #and different authors #and it spans three fandoms #so hopefully you guys enjoy this!!

[bbugyu]

:o i dont really know much about mbti types but u seem really knowlegable >.< what about dk's mbti??

oh my god the way i got a boner from being called knowledgeable OK LETS GO I LOVE SEOKMIN SO MUCH

seokmin is an infp, which is the mediator. i actually float between this personality type and infj (the advocate, which is also what wonwoo jihoon and minghao are), so seokmin and i are very similar in a lot of ways - our differences come from our zodiac signs i think ㅠㅠ; infps are actually really rare! yet seventeen has four KDJFSK they value harmony and authenticity and they always have the best intentions - which!!! IS SO SEOKMIN!!!! he will always see the best in people and always act with the best intentions! he is kind to a fault! what a sweet baby.

ok, here’s the breakdown. under the cut. tw seokmin best boy

seokmin is so shy. he doesn’t seem it, because when he’s with svt he goes BUCK FUCKING WILD but in reality he clams up around people he’s not super comfortable around. example: that one picture of him standing with yuju from gfriend where he looks like he’s gonna shit himself kJHFJS or when he was filming his solo parts for the mama performance and he kept saying how nervous he was without the members. he’s super reserved around people he hasn’t known for forever. he even tends to be quiet on variety shows, only really doing his fun comedy bits and talking when other members prompt him (which is almost always jeonghan or seungkwan don’t get me started). infjs (like isfjs) tend to keep a very small group of friends that they are very open and seemingly extroverted with, which is why we get to see seokmin’s genuine personality a lot. he is so fully himself when he is with seventeen and i think that is so beautiful. that being said, infps also are the most social introverts. he makes friends everywhere, and genuinely cares about all of them. his excallibur castmates have said that he was such a bright loving personality on stage and behind the scenes, and he would always visit and support them even after they stopped working together! he went to plays they starred in and posted pictures with them, telling carats to go support them too. you can tell they really appreciated this, because they would return the favor and go to seventeen concerts to cheer him on!

seokmin’s intuition is no joke. he seems a little naive at times, but he is also extremely good at looking at the big picture of a situation and deciding what needs to be done, ie. when they were leaving the venue during ttt he was seemingly the only one that remembered they left a giant mess in the kitchen. that being said, infps skip over details a lot. he also is SO FUNNY like he is genuinely the FUNNIEST MEMBER in my opinion because he just understands every situation so clearly. he’s able to take something a little mundane or whatever and comment on it or react in a way that’s REALLY FUNNY like when they were driving home from ttt and mingyu said he could buy the walnut sweets JFDSKJDSF mingyu wasn’t expecting him to say yes bc they’re such a common treat and seokmin laughed at first but hten immeidately was like “oh actually yes order them” and gyu was like ??? but seokmin kept just saying “stop talking to me order the walnut sweets pls” GODD THEY’RE SO FUNNY i literally cry laugh at shit seokmin does like i don’t know how he does it he’s the funniest motherfucker i’ve ever seen.

he seems like the most understanding member of svt to me. the others are too, ofc, but seokmin’s on another level. infps also feel very deeply and genuinely. as an intuitive personality type, he is immensely empathetic, but not in the same way that jeonghan is. seokmin feels other peoples’ emotions like they’re his own. he sympathizes fully and completely, and i think he tries really hard to internalize that as to not seem so emotional all the time, but as soon as the facade cracks he starts cRYINGGG like he’s a BABY he can’t help it he just FEELS SO MUCHhhh. idk if anyone else notices this but he always repeats what is being said? i find this to be related because he is actively listening, and his way of showing is affirming with short responses every few sentences. he seems like such a good person to go to when you’re struggling and want someone to comiserate with. seungkwan is someone you go to when you need advice, but seokmin is the one you go to when you want to vent, because he’ll immediately match how you’re feeling about the situation and empathize with you.

i think seokmin also tends to take things personally? i think he’s gotten better about this in recent years and instead uses it as a joke, but you can tell it still bothers him sometimes ㅠㅠ like, okay, so seokmin posted that picture for seungkwan’s birthday and said something along the lines of “do you remember when we went out to have fun and fought? sorry i couldn’t be better” etc so in boo’s birthday live he explained the situation because it was resolved nicely. he said that the two of them went kayaking with jeonghan (which, btw, booseokhan are literally married and i am the most spoiled carat ever) and got in a little disagreement about something menial, and seungkwan thought it was resolved quickly, but afterwards jeonghan was driving them and seokmin put on a song and boo was like “oh what kind of song is this?” as a joke, but seokmin took it personally and got sulky. but then him and jeonghan danced to anysong and honestly who can blame them. it seems like every time he gets in a fight with other members, he thinks about how he doesn’t want it to tear them apart, so no matter how mad he is, he tries to find a way to resolve it. like with the gray bag incident JDHFKJHF he said that he thought if he didn’t pick up the bag, mingyu might hit him. he was mad and thought he was in the right, but he didn’t want the argument to escalate, so he did something he didn’t want to end it where it was. also, when jeonghan went live during seokmin’s live, saying “those who want to watch dokyeom watch him, those who want to watch this watch this,” and seokmin got all sulky about carats saying they wanted to see what jeonghan was up to. he laughed and said he was kidding, but then he was like “i’m not fun anyways.” whiCH leads us to...

infps have chronic inferiority complexes, but they aren’t envious people, so it manifests in just being immensely self critical. seokmin genuinely believes he isn’t handsome. or a good singer. like. what the fuck is that all about. i get genuinely angry when i think about this. i could talk about how fucking WRONG he is but this is just supposed to be a personality analysis so i’ll just mention that i talked about why i think he’s the perfect man alive in another ask! check that out if you want JKFHKSDF he always has negative things to say about himself but only positives to say about others. which makes me wanna fight. he also is maybe too idealistic??? like i said before, he will always see the best in other people, and it leads the rest of the members to genuinely worry about him. they’re worried that if they’re not there to take care of him, he’ll end up getting taken advantage of by someone. they don’t want him to get scammed ㅠㅠ

some other aspects of infp personalities that i think suit seokmin well but i’m literally braindead and cannot write more of this: open minded, passionate, determined, and loyal.

i would marry seokmin in an instant.

#YEAAAAA LETS FUCKINGGG GOOOOO #i love him so much #sunshine #ask #anon #svt hc

[leavetwn]

* KAYLEE BRYANT, CISWOMAN + SHE/HER  | you know SUZIE TANAKA, right? they’re TWENTY-ONE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, EIGHTEEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to VALENTINE BY HOPE TALA like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole ROLLERSKATES SCUFFED FROM YEARS OF USE, STARTING A JOURNAL ENTRY TWO YEARS SINCE THE LAST ONE, A SIGH OF RELIEF ONCE YOU'RE FINALLY ALONE thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is NOVEMBER 28TH, so they’re a SAGGITARIUS, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( claire, 22, est, she/her )

it’s me again ! bringing a character who i’ve played for a while now, just switched up & such for every rp, and now , i’m bringin her here. :^) i hope you enjoy her as much as i do! tw: mentions of mental illness (anxiety)

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 .

full name: suzie tanaka. nickname(s): su, anything your muse wants to call her tbh. age: twenty-one. date of birth: november 28th. zodiac sign: saggitarius. gender/pronouns: ciswoman, she/her. sexual orientation: bisexual. romantic orientation: biromantic. hometown: san francisco, californio. current residence: irving, north carolina. occupation: part time waitress at cutie pie’s thanks to her skills on skates. full time student at the local college in her junior year as a creative writing major. she minors in film pro eye color: brown. hair color/style: dark brown, upper-mid back length & she usually just wears it in a simple ponytail. it’s more manageable when she’s out. however, when she’s at home, she’ll leave it down. height : 5′3″. clothing style: you can’t really put suzie’s style into one category. it’s inspired by several different eras & many times she pieces it together. some might call it a bit tacky at times, but she thinks it looks cute. to her, that’s all that matters. tattoos: none. probably could never attempt to get one cause she’s seriously afraid of needles lol. piercings: her ears and that’s when she was fairly young. reference the tattoos portion for reasoning.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 .

when you were around six years old  , you first realized that you were lonely. it wasn’t like you weren’t around other people. it was just that those people were mostly your mom and dad. occasionally your cousins would come over sometimes, but they were all older than you by at least four years. your parents were kind of eccentric, and for that, they experienced how harsh other kids could be very early on. they decided they didn’t want you to experience the same things, so since both were felt they were prepared enough to do so, they homeschooled you to keep you sheltered from those types of things. 

you’re sure they had good intentions. that’s not something you questioned, but you wished they’d at least find another kid you could be friends with or have another kid. you found yourself bored by yourself, so you immersed yourself in things like books or whatever movies they had around the house. this is where your love of fairytales began, and you’d fantasize about living in one while you read or watched the stories unfold.

you lived in your head, and you still pretty much do. you’re an idealist, even though you haven’t seen much of the world. perhaps it’s the fact that you haven’t ventured very far from your home that makes you so, and while life could still be boring, you always had another book or movie to keep you company. you grew content being on your own, and the more that you were, the more you began to enjoy your own company.

that didn’t change the fact that you longed for friends. in all the stories you read or watched, the protagonist had one other person along with them for much of their journey. sure, you had people that you were friendly with, but it was never to the extent that you wanted. it was never a best friend or a close group  —  just someone you saw on few occasions. it also didn’t help how you felt when you were around others. the way you monitored every step you took, the way you crossed your legs, or going over the way you would speak to someone in your head over and over. you figured for the longest time it was because you were shy, but a diagnosis of anxiety gave you a lot more clarity and almost a sense of relief. those things started to make more sense.

being alone helped a lot when it came to academics. you spent a lot of your time studying or looking up random ass facts on the internet, and because of this, you’d call yourself fairly smart. you know your shit. it also helped a lot when getting into colleges. you didn’t aim too high though, not yet comfortable being all the way on your own. so, you chose the nearby university to attend. 

you move out. you’re excited, and your parents are nervous but prepared. they’re not oblivious to the fact that this day would come. you’re ready to go out and face the world, but most of all, you’re ready to make friends. you’re ready to go out and experience the world, every small step at a time. you’re convinced at college you’ll become a brand new person, find yourself, and make plenty of friends. 

it doesn’t go like that at first. of course it doesn’t. it’s a new environment, and it takes getting used to. but soon, people loosen up and warm up to you. you’re quick to make a couple of friends. it isn’t at all like the stories you’d read or watched when you were younger. it is happy and fun and joyous, but you realize that friendships take work. it’s a bit exhausting, as someone who had become such an introvert, but you manage and form close bonds. 

as of now, you are working on your degree and managing life one step at a time. you’re doing pretty well, and things are looking up. you keep your head in the clouds still to this day, imagining what the future will be like. you’re still idealistic and optimistic, not that that’s a bad thing.  

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 .

i was being exaggerative with the ‘being at home’ stuff rip. i mean, she did spend a lot of time at home, but she wasn’t always there. her dad would take her out to rockin’ and rollin’, and i mean, she fuckin rocks when it comes to skating. it was kind of freeing to her as a child. she def got a pair of rollerblades as a christmas present, and she probably was the kid skating down her neighborhood road and shit from sunrise until her mom told her to take her ass inside. 

maybe seems like she’s ditzy and she’s probably somewhat naive, but she’s definitely not stupid. she’s also a fast learner. she is, however, too nice for her own good. she’ll learn eventually, but she’s hopeful and an optimist at heart 💔

loves her dad but tells her mom everything. she doesn’t recognize it, but her mom was probably her first best friend lmaoo. they have a really good relationship. she has a good relationship with her dad too. he’s a bit more closed off than her mom, and she recognizes that but understands.

has an irrational fear that everyone’s like,,, staring at her & thinking she’s weird. really wants everyone to like her but she’s not sure how to make that happen (news flash, it won’t)

her fam is actually from san francisco but when she was 3, her dad got a better offer in irving so that’s how they ended up here. she knows this & she wonders what life woulda been like if she stayed back in san fran. probably wouldn’t have changed but she literally lives in her head and imagines shit like that’s her job at this point so yehhh 

dreams of being a screenwriter and maybe even a director one day. she saw how film and books influenced her life as a kid & she wants to have the same impact, yk? v cute to me i love that. maybe she’ll write a book one day too who knows

i’m feelin like she has a ton of online friends cause she was seeking connection /w people so it makes sense. shout out to all her online pals who kept her sane & shit, but it wasn’t enough for her cause she really wanted those kinds of things irl.

is a hopeless romantic rip to her. just wants someone to sweep her up off her feet and give her butterflies but this aint no damn fairytale so let’s make it chaotic

character parallels: lily (dash & lily, 2020) , amélie poulain (amélie, 2001) , belle in some ways lmao (beauty and the beast, 1991) more to be added.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

*  friends, best friends, etc.  — literally any friends at all. this is the connection she craves the most tbh. platonic over romantic periodt ! she just wants people to braid her hair and have deep, personal convos with about literally anything while legally blonde is on the television. 

* a bad influence  —  i mean, she stayed inside mostly & is kind of an introvert. didn’t have tons of friends either, so she didn’t really have time to go to parties, etc. BE A BAD INFLUENCE SHE NEEDS TO LET LOOSE LMAOO. it’ll prolly take a lot to get her out but hey 

* good influence  — someone she’s a good influence on & who she helps in some way. i could see it happenin’. if you see it happening, i mean... hmu you know where i am mwah 💖

* crush  — someone she’s head over heels with. i mean, it probably wouldn’t take a lot. in my head she be catching feelings way too fast. it’s just a thing, but yeah, it could go either way. maybe your character is into her too or she’ll end up getting her heart broken which is lmao bound to happen one day. could also be someone who’s crushing on her but she’s way to busy focusing all her romantic attention on someone else to notice? idk i’m just here for all the plots.

* annoyance  — someone who finds her ass annoying/does not like her. she wants everyone to like her so it would be so confusing and upsetting and she would be like wtf did i do but i want it cause i love angst. sorry to all my muses out there luv yall but i’m just bein real

* again, anything at all  — if you have an idea that you love, pls don’t hesitate to hmu and lemme know. i promise i will 99.9% of the time be down. the same goes for any wanted connection doodads that i reblog like if u see it and ur like omg i luv that... PLEASE hmu i luv u all already & just wanna have plots and write with you srsly

#irvingintro #well there u have it my last one done i am so THANKFUL AND HAPPY #takes a bow #the way it's almost 4 am see i did not lie i am up forever

[thisismeelephanttrying]

After reading the book, I feel fortunate enough to across his heritage of that lifetime. He must have a beautiful heart in conclusion of a floating soul in a heavy world.

"In all his writing, the world of concrete objects carries its full common sense of pleasure and hardship, of beauty and blight. At the same time, his philosophical turn of mind involves him in a real struggle of ideas, one usually carried on by closed mings and obscured by fuzzy words. This struggle pits the "materialists" with their rational methods against the "idealists" with their intuitive or spiritual insights."

"Or rather he tells us all over again that the true battle lies within us and calmly transfers the struggle to the slopes of an interior mountain which we must climb. Most of us find that a harder task than carrying on a rousing battle with an ideological enemy."

"And neither of them took cover behind the convenient shrubbery of the "ineffable"; words brought their trials and their triumphs. Daumal's work follows Nerval's in its resolve to fuse body and spirit, speech and sleep, logic and intuition, in order to enter a "second life".

'"Nerval, however, prepared himself increasingly to disappear for good into that other world, and finally hung himself in a Paris alley. Daumal, somewhat less afflicted, or blessed, with night vision, resolutely returned to this world, his eyes seeking light again, his mind struggling to tell what he had seen."

"We must first become human before seeking anything superior."

"The Westerner tends by tradition to think of grasping the meaning of life through certain crucial experiences - death, grief, danger, passionate love, sudden success, catastrophe. Existentialism has aptly termed them "extreme situations", in reference to which we discover ourselves - whence our attraction to the adventurous life, war, scientific progress, romantic love. Having cast his mind deep into Indian philosophy, Daumal senses that the reality and meaning of the world can come to us at every moment without having to rely wholly on extreme situations to wrench us into awareness. Action, as has been pointed out many times, is for Westerners both stimulant and drug. The four stages of Hindi initiation, from the Vedas to the Upinshads, and the complementary disciplines of Yoga and Zen, prepare us not for a career of great exploits to be recalled in old age, but for a life increasingly dedicated to "the teaching which cuts through illusion."

"He understood very early that the basic act of consciousness is a negation, a dissociation of the I from the exterior world of not -I. Meaningful perception reduces and refines the I, withdraws it from the world into an increasingly strict identity or subjectivity. Then, however, beginning a vibratory rhythm which must follow if self-annihilation is not to result, the pure consciousness expands again into all things, experiences the world subjectively once more, loses itself in the mystery of creation."

Asceticism

"Man achieves inner spiritual progress by his own efforts, by a human discipline that is not a gift of god and can be learned from other men further advanced on the path of knowledge. Teaching and initiation are central to all religions and cultures. Within a system where no truth comes by divine revelation but only by human attainment, the sense of a tradition of knowledge comes to support the entire structure of life.... And thus Daumal spoke un-flinchingly of a Doctrine, meaning not a narrow set of rituals or dogmas, not art for art's sake in aesthetics, not a fixed philosophical position, but a number of paths leading to the same goal: a higher form of life."

Peradam

"Mount Analogue, the novel, has the force of a curving and uncurving lens for our minds. Through it, we can glimpse that "other world" of which Nerval spoke, and Spinoza and Socrates. And yet it is hard to look through it, for so limpid a substance almost escapes one's attention even when it is right under one's eyes. One could conceivably read ever word of the book without seeing a thing."

"And from deep within me, like a bubble, rose the admission that my life had become all too stagnant lately. Thus, when I opened the letter, I could not be sure whether it affected me like a breath of fresh air or like a disagreeable draught."

"I had written in substance that in the mythic tradition the Mountain is the bond between Earth and Sky. Its solitary summit reaches the sphere of eternity, and its base spreads out in manifold foothills into the world of mortals. It is the way by which man can raise himself to the divine, and by which the divine reveals itself to man."

" ... a general discussion of symbols, which I divided into two classes: those subject to law of proportion, and those subject only to the law of scale as well.... "Proportion" concerns the relations between dimensions of a structure, "scale" the relations between these dimensions and those of the human body. An equilateral triangle, symbol of the Trinity, has exactly the same value no matter what its dimensions; it has no "scale". On the other hand consider an exact model of a cathedral a few inches in height. This object will always convey, through its shape and proportions, the intellectual meaning of the original structure, even if some details have to be examined under a magnifying glass. But it will no longer produce anything like the same emotion or the same response: it is no longer "to scale". And what defines the scale of the ultimate symbolic mountain - The one I propose to call Mount Analogue- is its inaccessibility to ordinary human approaches. .......

For a mountain to play the role of Mount Analogue, I concluded, its summit must be inaccessible but its base accessible to human beings as nature has made them. It must be unique and it must exist geographically. The door to the invisible must be visible."

" You understand that you and I have such grave decisions to make, with such a far-reaching consequences for our lives, that we can't start by taking shots in the dark. We'll have to get to know each other. Today we can walk around together, talk, eat, and be silent together. Later I believe we'll have the opportunity to act and suffer together. All is that necessary to "make someone's acquaintance" as they say."

"Up to that point I had always spotted those second-hand Satans. They were so naive and always tried the same tricks, poor devils. Their entire approach consisted of variations on a few fundamental falsehoods every one knew, such as:"To obey the letter of the rules in only for imbeciles who cannot understand their spirit". Or :"With my health, alas, I cannot attempt such hardships."

" Life dealt with me a little the way an organism treats a foreign body: it was obviously trying either to encyst me or to expel me, and for my own part I yearned for "something else" .... I readjusted little by little to contemporary life, but only externally, it's true. For, when you come down to it, I can't bring myself to fall in with this monkey-cage agitation which people so dramatically call life. ..... Fake, all fake. I can't say one of those cards: here's a truth, one small but certain truth. In the whole show there's nothing but mystery and error. Where one ends, the other begins."

Since Logos is quite crazy in his assumption because everything was merely made in his mind. He is as if a scientist making a hypothesis totally out of intuition and initiated a whole journey to test it; that is the reason why I found this description pretty cool "We all sat stunned by the audacity and logical power of this deduction. Everyone kept silent and everyone was convinced."

"The path to our highest desires often lies through the undesirable."

" If I were to tell this story the way history is usually written or the way each of us recalls his own past, which means recording only the most glorious moments and inventing a new continuity for them, I should omit these little details and say that our eight stout hearts drummed from morning to night in time with a single all-encompassing desire - or some such lie. But the flame which kindles desire and illuminates thought never burned for more than a few seconds at a stretch. The rest of the time we tried to remember it."

I do not know why but this author did have a sense of humor with all of his mockery and ironicness.

"Some people say they have always existed and will exist forever. Others say they are the dead. And others say that, as a sword has its scabbard or a foot its imprint, every living man has in the mountain his Hollow-Man, which he will seek out in death."

"No one has ever been able to catch it, for the tiniest tremor of fear anywhere close by alerts it, and it disappears into the rock. Even if one desires it, one is a little afraid of possessing it, and it vanishes. .... It's like looking for night in broad daylight."

"But in our relations with the superior beings of Mount Analogue, what would be suitable for barter? What did we possess of real value? With what could we pay for the new knowledge we were seeking? Would we have to accept it as charity? or on credit?"

"At the same time as we decided to leave our heavy equipment on the coast, we were also preparing to leave behind the artist, the inventor, the doctor, the scholar, the writer. Beneath the old disguises new men and new women began to show the tips of their ears. Men and women, and all kinds of other creatures as well."

"In the mountains a man becomes very attentive to any sign indicating the presence of one of his fellow men. That distant smoke was particularly moving for us, a greeting sent us by strangers climbing ahead of us on the same trail. For from now on the trail linked our fate to theirs, even if we were never to meet. Bernard knew nothing about them."

Rhododendron

"At the end I want to speak at length of one of the basic laws of Mount Analogue. To reach the summit, one must proceed from encampment to encampment. But before setting out for the next refuge, one must prepare those coming after to occupy the place one is leaving. Only after having prepared them can one go on up. That is why, before setting out for a new refuge, we had to go back down in order to pass on our knowledge to other seekers..."

"Probably Rene Daumal would have made clear what he meant by this work of preparation. For in his daily life he devoted himself to preparing many minds for the difficult voyage toward Mount Analogue. The title of his last chapter was to be: "And you, what do you seek?.... To face it directly is to strike against the deepest layer of being which sleeps within us, and then one must listen painfully and lucidly to the sound it sends back."

"By our calculations - thinking of nothing else - by our desires - abandoning every other hope - by our efforts - renouncing all bodily comfort - we gained entry into this new world. So it seemed to us. But we learned later that if we were able to approach Mount Analogue, it was because the invisible doors of that invisible country had been opened for us by those who guard them. The cock crowing in the milky dawn thinks its call raises the sun; the child howling in a closed room thinks its cries cause the door to open. But the sun and the mother follow courses set by the laws of their own beings. Those who see us even though we cannot see them opened the door for us, answering our puerile calculations, our steady desires, and our awkward efforts with a generous welcome."

[katsidhe]

either of the classic spn religion themed episodes 'faith' or 'houses of holy' idk they're some of my faves all around

2.13 Final Thoughts

This was GOING to be brief. Well, not anymore. 

Sam wants an angel. Oops, careful what you wish for. 

The “angel” special effects in this episode look a lot better than the awful “true form” effect we got in s14. It’s just a really, really bright light with a vaguely human silhouette–but it works, both because it contrasts so blindingly with the dark grunge of s2, and because it’s formless enough to let us wonder.  

It’s interesting to me that Father Gregory’s ghost was actively targeting TWO victims with each of his strikes: both the killer and the kill-ee. He was clearly powerful enough to force some serious compulsions; there isn’t really a reason he couldn’t have inspired suicides instead of murders. 

The people the ghost targets as killers seem to have a similar profile: people hopeless, impoverished, or otherwise downtrodden. He chooses a hooker and a local drunk–people who, from Father Gregory’s perspective, are of questionable value to society, and people who were also seeking some kind of escape or higher meaning. He gives them that higher meaning in an incredibly cruel way, by condemning them to decades in prison or a locked ward. 

Of course, Gregory also chooses Sam Winchester. How much of this was because Sam seemed superfluous, a drifter without value? Or was it just because Sam fit the psychological profile: someone desperate to hear a higher call?  

Dean has another one of those common early seasons moments where he claims to be the authority on his mother’s psychology. Uh-huh. “Mary used an idiom about angels in front of her four year old” —> “Mary had faith” ok Dean. It’s another in the set of emotions and principles Dean thinks of as soft or high-minded or safe: things he classifies, without examination, as belonging to the unattainable, flawless, secure life lost with Mary’s death. Things Dean generally thinks of as dangerously or selfishly indulgent.  

Okay, so the obviously discussion-worthy thing in this episode is the difference between Sam and Dean’s approaches to the question of faith. This is the episode where we learn that Sam prays, and that he wants to believe in some greater good. 

Sam’s faith is often cited as evidence of his tendency towards hopefulness/seeing the good in the world but… eh. Especially in this episode, it feels more like evidence of something more depressing. Sam’s reason for desperately hoping there’s a benevolent higher power is categorically not out of a fundamental belief in life’s goodness, but rather the opposite—it’s because most of his life is filled with evil and loneliness and uncertainty, and it’s difficult for small victories or small pleasures to make much of a dent in that temperament. 

Let’s talk Dean’s skepticism. Dean is skeptical specifically of things he cannot see and has not experienced. He puts his faith in things that are overpoweringly tangible–the central pillar of his faith is his family and his family’s fight, not any kind of higher principle. The larger world is too far removed to have meaning: what matters is his family and his mission.   

Let’s talk Sam’s faith. I can see a young Sam starting the habit of prayer in a combination of quiet rebellion and desperation.  When Sam says he wants something more, he means something beyond hunting—he wants some greater paradigm that will let him put this behind him. His demon-y future, yes, but also the claustrophobic obsession he grew up with. (Sam never met their mother–obedience to the cult of her sacrifice requires faith from him too, of a sort much less palatable to him.)

Sam’s faith is also a way to try to externalize his mission and his decisions, due to a deep discomfort with and suspicion of his internal self. In s2, this suspicion is still nebulous, but it’s definitely present; as seasons pass, especially s4, Sam gains all sorts of concrete evidence for distrusting himself. 

Setting 2.13 as the baseline, I’d say there are three major faith watersheds in SPN: 1) 4.01 = angels are very much real; 2) 11.20 = God is very much real; 3) 14.20 = God is real but he’s very much more of a douchebag than previously suspected. In general, at these turning points, I’d say that Dean is more ready to update his picture of the universe without changing it much, and without wondering if he’s wrong about other significant things; Sam is more ready to let the new information color his broader view, and more suspicious that he’s not getting the full story. 

So, who’s the cynic, who’s the idealist? Who’s the hardbitten skeptic and who’s too naive? I think the answer is more complex. Sam’s faith evinces a deep skepticism in both his family model and the harsh world he’s grown up seeing. Similarly, Dean’s skepticism betrays his inflexibility in accepting any challenge to his deeply held beliefs.

#i speaks #2.13 #final thoughts #sam and faith #dean and faith #dean and mary #Dean isn't as skeptical as he'd like to think #Anonymous

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

God I feel bad for Ike. With all these changing alliances and the fact that his friend today could be trying to kill him tomorrow. I sense AU potential where he snaps and ironically Soren is the one who has to help him regain his faith in the world.

With the way circumstances are in the game, I think the only thing that’s kept Ike from descending into jaded bitterness is the fact that he’s not prone to...god I had the words I wanted last night. He’s a very action-oriented person - very hands-on when a problem arises, rather than deeply pondering it. He’ll get together a plan and a solution and go enact it.

But everything keeps piling up - which there’s way more to it than a few friends on the opposite side - and plenty of time in which I’m genuinely interested to see whether or not they go toward the arc of pushing him till he breaks. That would be interesting to see!

There’s already one very interesting Ike possible character moment that we’ve already moved past - so there was nearly the civil war in Crimea, with the nobility resenting Elincia for 1. promoting a common mercenary to a lord, 2. strengthening ties with Gallia, one of the laguz nations, and 3. acknowledging Daein’s new king. One of the dukes tries to ferment a rebellion, focusing on #3 as Elincia “kowtowing” to Daein. One of the chapters in Part 2 has two of Ike’s old friends kicking some shit-stirrers out of their little farming village and telling all the hotheaded farming youths that war isn’t fun and that they shouldn’t go this route. But there’s one of the Duke’s commanders who’s, in his shit-stirring, invoking Ike’s name in rallying people to fight for Crimea....against Elincia, the queen that Ike instilled.

Anyway once the duke is captured and his forces scattered, Ike asks Elincia if she wants to hire him to help shut down and round up the rest of the rebel army. She says no, that the Royal Knights are the ones for the job, and Ike heads off to Gallia and is hired by Ranulf to fight in their war against Begnion.

But there’d be a very interesting arc for Ike if Elincia did accept his help in wrangling the remainder of the Duke’s forces. There’s people who are invoking his name to ruin the peace and the queen that he fought for. And Ike might be a mercenary, but he takes jobs according to his conscience, as well - like, if the Duke had tried to hire him to go against Elincia, I’m sure Ike would kick his ass and then go tell Elincia all of it. So I think it’d be interesting for Ike to have to confont the fact that he has a legacy and a name now, and people will take it and twist it to serve their own agendas. Like fuck dude Ike just wants to fight people for money. He’s still a mercenary at heart at the end of this, but now he’s also this symbol that other people can invoke in ways that Ike would never approve of.

[This turned into a plot recap of why what’s canonically going on is even more massively awful, but here you go. Now everyone can get up to speed with the plot, because I know I’ve been glossing a lot of the plot in this liveblog.]

Instead of that, he heads off to Gallia, where they (along with the nations of Phoenicis led by Tibarn, Serenes which is literally four people because the rest were killed 20 years prior, and Kilvas led by Naesala who promptly betrays their alliance for reasons we don’t yet know) have declared war on Begnion. The people of Serenes were massacred by the people of Begnion, in retaliation for Serenes being framed for their Empress’ assassination. Last game, it was concluded that Ashnard was behind the assassination. This game, we found out that Begnion’s senate had their own Empress assassinated and blamed Serenes for it. Naturally, the remaining royal family of Serenes (five of them survived the massacre; Lallia was taken prisoner by Ashnard and died in captivity in Daein; Rafiel escaped but was presumed dead and only just popped up again; Leanne was hidden in a magic coma in the scorched forest of Serenes for 20 years; and Reyson and their father were sheltered in Phoenicis and then went to stay in Gallia for a while) are like “hey what the fuck”, and they’re closely allied and friends with both Phoenicis and Gallia, who also go “hey what the fuck”, and Naesala’s main inclination towards selfless actions is when he has his arm twisted by anyone in regards to Reyson and Leanne, so he goes “hey what the fuck.” They send an envoy to Begnion to ask “hey what the fuck”; Begnion’s senate murders the envoy.

So they respond “fuck it, we’re going to war with you fuckers” and that’s what Ike signs onto. Like, Begnion is objectively in the wrong here; the Empress doesn’t want to fight, but the Senate is overruling her and wants all of the Laguz Alliance massacred. Ike has a strong sense of justice and he’s good friends with a lot of the laguz - he has supports with two cats and a heron last game - when a lot of other humans hate them. Ike hears all this, goes “hey what the fuck” and takes a contract with Gallia to fight for them. Because it’s the right and just thing to do.

And that “right thing to do” keeps going wrong and wrong, as Zelgius smacks down Gallia’s impulsive general and forces them into a retreat. He offers them a chance for a peace treaty, which they have no choice but to make, but before they can, the Senate basically deposes the Empress and orders Zelgius and the rest of the army to start the fighting back up and kill all their enemies. Begnion’s Senate just puts themselves more and more into the most morally abhorrent positions that they can. But they’re winning.

Then they call on Daein to help them kill all the laguz, and Daein’s dumbass king who’s definitely being manipulated by someone agrees to help, and Daein’s naive and idealistic top general believes that the king has to have some good reason for the sake of their country, and that’s where Ike’s last few old friends are. With Daein’s manipulated king and general, fighting on the side of abjectly the worst people in Tellius: the Begnion Senate.

Like, for sure if I were Ike I would be having a crisis about all this. He fought so hard to restore peace in Crimea and put Elincia on the throne and then the country very nearly split in civil war. He pushed hard for humans to accept the laguz as equals and now two of the three human countries are united in war against them, with the intent to slaughter them, as half of Phoenicis (all of the men of fighting age) were slaughtered. The Black Knight who murdered his father is still alive somehow. He’s got friends in the army in Daein - the army in Daein that is now with Begnion against the laguz. The Begnion Empress who he knows is a reasonable person has been quietly deposed. Everything sucks. 

And there’s still plenty of chapters left for it all to get worse before it gets better! Honestly if Ike does have a genuine breakdown that would be more than understandable and fitting. This entire ordeal is a crock of hot shit and keeps getting worse.

#roddy plays fe10 #jakeun-kangajii

[hudsontfreeman]

Noticing (or a Case for Seinfeld Living)

It’s really impossible to know definitively, but I’d say I’m about halfway through the fourth or fifth season of the second reboot of my life’s tv show.

This is more of an estimate - I’m not really sure how I’ve been dividing up the seasons. Obviously, the first season was the 3-4 years at the beginning where nobody really knew what was going on and the protagonist was kind of just there. He was arguably, more of a blank canvas for the audience to see themselves through, as the real protagonists (his mom and dad) did all the expository heavy lifting. To be fair, this was just an introduction to the series and audiences were at least impressed enough for it to be renewed.

The formula found its bearings in the second season, as most successful shows tend to do, and stayed more or less on track for ten seasons till adolescence prompted a hard reboot. I can’t stress enough how much the show changed: episodes varied widely week to week, multiple characters were booted, the previously so-called co-protagonists of the show (those rascally parents) occasionally became outright antagonists, etc… It was quite frankly, not that great of a show, and in many ways traded the lack of conflict of its predecessor, with an abundance of conflict rarely resolved. It was not a show anyone was enjoying and the second college reboot was a welcome return to form.

This latest season is not half bad. We’ve got a lot of good series-wide story arcs going. There is a fair amount of midseason conflict, reoccurring characters that are staying relatively fresh (with the exception of Trevor), a decent theme song (it’s currently some experimental jazz from hell), and I’m really feeling like the protagonist is “starting to figure out what his deal is”, so to speak.

It is important to note that the protagonist has “started to figure out what his deal is” many times before this season, so I wouldn’t necessarily trust his judgement, but the confidence is remarkable.

He, at the very least, seems to finally be able to admit that he is not a cool person, which is certainly progress. Naively, though; he is convinced that this admission might very well be the first step to eventually becoming cool.

Most engaged viewers know this is a misstep.

~

“Life’s not like a movie” might be as useless of a phrase as it is pervasive. The assumption of the phrase implies that everyone is going around living their lives like the main character in a blockbuster comedy - cartoonishly pursuing their dreams, accidentally falling in love, and somehow, repeatedly being surprised when things don’t work out the way they think things should.

This is clearly false. No one thinks like this.

No one thinks everything will work out. No one thinks they’ll get everything they want. No one thinks their life is simple. No one thinks they’ll find the complete answer to the question they’ve been asking all along.

No one is nearly as naive about their existence as we seem to think they are. And I don’t think people watch movies and TV shows because they want these things either.

Sure, maybe there is someone out there who says they want life to be this uncomplicated, straightforward thing, but no one actually believes them. Nearly every person I’ve ever met genuinely believes that they are the true pragmatist. Has anyone ever actually met a consciously sincere idealist? Who wants to be the sucker?

Perhaps I’m generalizing, but I don’t think people watch television or movies, read books, and tell stories because they are innocently convinced of the simplicity of their narrative structure or because they want to vicariously live through that simplicity either. People are not starry-eyed, gullible children, nor do they wish they could be. People reflect their lives through story, not because they make life seem simple, but because these stories make life seem meaningful. I would go as far as to say - they don’t just make life seem meaningful, they remind them that it already is.

~

My friend Trevor and I believe genuinely, that we are this latest generation’s reincarnation of the 90’s sitcom, Seinfeld. He is George and I am Jerry, respectively. We’ve drawn out many of the parallels over the course of our friendship and I will list them here now:

- Trevor is short and stocky (George), while I am tall(er) and lanky (Jerry).

- My friend, Sam (Kramer) often walks into my house unannounced, hair lopsided, looking to “borrow” things from my kitchen.

- We routinely complain about our lives at various diners/coffee shops loudly and with little sympathy for the people around us. (The plot of the show)

- We improvise neurotic standup routines about the absurdity of mundane life and our own selfishness. (Much like George and Jerry, these routines are more sad than they are funny)

The only thing we’ve failed to find a direct parallel for is Elaine, as perhaps the most unrealistic aspect of the show, was the fantasy of anyone staying good friends with their ex.

All of these specific comparisons aside, I think what Trevor and I really like about this joke, is the idea that the only difference between our lives “in the real world” and our lives as tv characters, is the perspective that comes with observing rather than experiencing. What I mean by that is to say, there is something inherently and beautifully constructive about observing years as seasons, days as episodes, and people as characters. They become features of the life we are actively noticing, not just necessities of the existence we are passively being forced to endure.

As many sad, 90s-sitcom-obsessives like myself know, the significance of the creation of the Seinfeld rested in the catchphrase Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld sold the show on - it’s “a show about nothing.” The idea of it was, if you take a comedian like Seinfeld and put him in a variety of mundane settings, the jokes will come, not from heightening his experiences, but by letting him endlessly interpose his observations on the absurdity of the mundane itself. But I don’t think that’s significant in the way people may think it is.

Yes, George/Jerry/Elaine/Kramer are funny, goofy people with above average neurotic tendencies. Yes, it is a situational comedy written by professional comedy writers, building narratives out of the ways standups get their material. Yes, it broke many mainstream television conventions and historically broke the formula of the sitcom. But I think the most brilliant thing Seinfeld did, is definitively inspire the tacit belief that everything is worth paying attention to. Maybe, it’s worth noticing because its infuriating, or ridiculous, or hilarious, or disturbing, etc… But absolutely everything demands to be noticed.

In the fourth season of Seinfeld (arguably the best and most influential season), George and Jerry begin developing a TV show in much the same way Seinfeld and Larry David did four years prior. Throughout episode after episode, they go back and forth trying to come up with some fresh idea to wow NBC executives. This goes on with some degree of expected laziness and hijinks till George finally has it. Ever the meta-self-referential goldmine, George decides it should be “a show about nothing.” NBC executives are neither wowed nor thrilled, but the pilot get’s made, and all the characters in Seinfeld get remade in the show-within-the-show - “Jerry”. This was genius for two reasons.

It justified itself as a show by explaining its own concept directly to the audience through the show itself. (Perhaps the reason why this season skyrocketed the shows viewership)

It explained how television works, and more importantly, it explained how stories work.

The characters of Seinfeld, much like the characters of any story where the writer takes the time to describe them, are just bizarre people living in our bizarre world. Brought to their logical conclusions, television characters are human beings incapable of not observing the particularities of their existence. They go to the same coffee shops, they hang out with the exact same people, and they can’t stop scrutinizing the smallest detail of, or change, to that reality. Television shows remind us that the details of our existence are interesting.

The characters we surround ourselves with can be the funniest people in the world when we notice why they do what they do. The job we spend thirty to seventy hours a week at can be the weirdest thing in the world when we notice how ridiculous it is. This year can be a not-so great season. Tomorrow can be a particularly great episode. The television show we’re participating in can be surprising and disappointing and funny and sad and predictable and strange, but its a show we choose whether or not to watch - just watch it!

~

Sometimes, when I have a bad day, I go home, I go to bed, and I narrate out loud, “Hudson was not having a good day.” It almost always helps. Not because it reminds me that I am an insane person and that’s funny, but because it reminds me that I am a character in a movie I am watching, not just playing a role in. I am the protagonist of my own movie, playing a character in other people’s movies, learning how to notice why we’re in a movie at all. Any moment that we don’t realize that, that the story is meaningful, whatever it is, is a moment lost to ourselves.

"Life’s not like a movie” is a pointless phrase that doesn’t mean anything about anyone. We know life is not simple, but we want life to be consequential. Stories tell us it is. So we remind ourselves by telling the stories and listening to the stories and vice versa and on and on till we're dead and death is always a pretty good story too. (Almost always a great tv show or movie)

Life may not be painless or easy, but it is certainly interesting. Movies, television, novels, myths, comics, plays, etc… Those things are at their best when they remind us that the only difference between letting living pass us by and actively choosing to experience existence, is the amount of attention we pay to it. The latest season of the tv show that is my being is sometimes pretty rough, especially when I’m arguing with Trevor about who the main character is, but it is not boring. I can’t ask for much else.

#writing #in this essay i will #essay #personal essay #seinfeld #existentialism #existential humor

[warofroyalsrpg]

— ♔ In the past, people were born royal and for ROSAMIE AQUINO the TWENTY-SIX-year-old PRINCESS of THE PHILIPPINES, that is a tradition SHE intends to keep. To others, SHE looks an awful lot like CASSIE STEELE and has been painted as THE ONE WITH HER HEAD IN THE CLOUDS but behind closed doors, SHE is NAIVE and DRAMATIC but also OPTIMISTIC and CURIOUS. It has also been said they are BETROTHED to THOMAS ADLEY. (Kayla/30/CST/She/Her)

Welcome Princess Rosamie Aquino, we hope you enjoy your stay and represent your country of The Philippines well! The fc of Cassie Steele and the country of The Philippines are now taken! Please check out the checklist and send in your account within twenty-four hours.

What is your character’s gender?: Cis Female

Are you filling a wanted connection? If so, which one?: Thomas Adley’s betrothed, Jayme is cool with it.

Please provide three headcanons about your character:

Headcanon One: Ever since Rosamie was a little girl she’s been certain that fate and true love were very real. She lived off of true romance, the girl taking in as many of the epic love stories written throughout the years along with all the romantic comedies that came her way. She’s a sucker for love and she believes that everyone has their own stories to play out while on the path to their person. Soulmates, friends to lovers, hate to love, she adores it all and will most likely bug everyone about their own love lives to get her fix. Unfortunately for her, she hasn’t been so lucky in that department herself. This doesn’t do anything to quell her beliefs with each failure only fueling her more and more to find her epic romance, and she’s hoping that her and Thomas will be the beginning of her own novel.

Headcanon Two: She’s pretty loyal when it comes to her country and she’s insisted that she be a part of her older siblings’ training in case she may be needed to step in one day. Or in case she ended up marrying a crown. She’s someone who would never want to go into a situation involving her lineage without the knowledge she needs to help the monarchy along. Despite how naive she can be she never wants to be in a situation where she can’t hold her own and most people are surprised when Rosamie gets into political rants. Her sense of duty also outweighs her dream of finding romance. She goes where she’s told, does what she has to do, and has barely any complaints about doing so.

Headcanon Three: She doesn’t know her own privilege. There have been times when she didn’t understand why other people weren’t always able to do the same things that she’s been able to do in life, especially when she was younger. She doesn’t think about money the way she should and has also been known to put her foot in her mouth with the staff or less privileged people are around. She’s someone who will accidentally take advantage of the staff and their duties to her without realizing she might be running someone ragged and she complains when she has to do something for herself. Lazy might be a good word to describe her on occasion. She doesn’t do this to be cruel, she just doesn’t realize that she might not be treating them in the best way.

Bonus Headcanon: Rosamie has Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE). She has a mild form that can cause a range of different symptoms including joint pain and fatigue to name a few. It’s never hindered her life too much and it had never gotten serious enough to cause any internal damage. Nobody outside of her family and her doctors (including the castle doctors) know about the disease. She tries to do things to keep up her physical strength, mostly swimming or horseback riding, but there are times when her disease does make it harder. This is when she’s mostly considered lazy and she lounges around most of the day.

Please provide two or more connection ideas for your character:

Connection One: Older brother who is the crown - I imagine they get along very well and have always been close. He’s probably a little protective over her with her idealistic ways.

Connection Two: Best friend/Friends to Enemies - Someone she could have grown up with and they could still be close or something could have happened to tear them apart.

Please answer the following questions IC:

What is one thing you are proud of/love about your country?

“I will always be in awe of my country’s beauty. Have you ever seen Bantayan Island. The white sandy beaches, the clear water, the friendly locals, it’s all amazing and thats just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my home and unexplored gems.”

What is the most important thing in your suitcase?

“I have a rare copy of Romeo and Juliet that my mother got me for my twelfth birthday. I probably shouldn’t have brought it but I did and…I will cry if it gets lost.”

Who and/or what will you miss most from home?

“Honestly? Aside from my family, the obvious answer, I would say the weather. I don’t know what to do with snow.”

#Cassie Steele #royal rp #established rp #oc rp #original rp #accepted #royal #rosamie aquino

[things2mustdo]

The Independent has put out an article describing the mail-order bride capital of the world, Odessa, a city that I have spent the past four months in.

They populate Odessa’s numerous terrace cafés, stroll in hordes through its parks, and fill the plush velvet seats of its 19th century opera house. A foreign man, usually though not always over 60 and American, sits with a Ukrainian girl, probably in her twenties and strikingly attractive. Habitually, they are joined by another young woman, the translator, who facilitates the dialogue.

“She says she likes a strong man who knows his mind.” “Tell her I love the idea of two cultures coming together in a relationship.” “She says she thinks you could be her soulmate.”

I’ve seen these men in the city. They all congregate at the Guinness Pub on the main drag. Usually they have mustaches and wear bomber jackets. Some of them venture in a bar called Captain Morgan’s, but they don’t usually hit the normal nightlife venues.

As for the Odessan girls, they seem normal to me (by Ukrainian standards). None of tried to milk me. Ukrainian women are most adept at male mineral extraction, so when you toss in naive men who don’t know any better, you know that large sums of money are being tossed into the ether. Their idealistic wife search turns into an impoverishing death spiral.

These bride hunters also have a faulty belief, along with many feminists, that quality women are just begging to come to a dying America. While many do have fantasies of living in the USA, not one quality woman I’ve dated in Ukraine has even hinted to me that she wants to settle in the USA. Moving to the USA is a desperation move that happens to older women (28+) who for whatever reason has lost hope that they will ever get married in Ukraine. In other words, moving to America is not their first choice. Unless the girl is busted and overweight, it never is.

“Everything is possible; there are women who genuinely want to meet a man and emigrate,” says a foreigner living in Odessa who is well acquainted with the dating industry. “In the villages there are even more of them. But there are very few of them in Odessa, these days. Especially those who would be willing to marry a man in his sixties or seventies. They love Odessa, and they can make good money scamming these idiots. Why would they actually go through with it and move to some boring place in rural America?”

[…]

“She’ll say yes to his proposal, milk him for money for ‘English lessons’ for the next six months, and then disappear,” predicts Alina, when I tell her about Stephen. When he complains to me of the vast sums he is forking out every day for the translator fees, taxi rides, and gifts of Swarovski jewellery, I make gentle suggestions that perhaps all is not what it seems. I smile weakly when he talks of plans to redecorate his house ahead of the arrival of his new wife, and I wonder if I should sit him down and set him to rights. But he is old enough to work things out for himself. I leave him the day before his departure on the way to a karaoke bar, where he plans to propose.

[…]

Indeed, as the tour winds down, even those men who were sent to the depths of despair by dates who did not show up, fleeced them, or led them on, are planning return trips to Ukraine. Some have already been more than once; one of them is on his 14th tour. For some of them, merely the fleeting hope of happiness seems to be enough, while others hold on to a conviction that next time it might just be different.

These men are so lonely that they don’t mind spending thousands of dollars to pass the time with beautiful women without sex. And these are the idiots that guys like me get compared to!

There are so many horror stories from mail-order bride agencies online that I have as much sympathy for these guys as I do for a man getting raped in American divorce court. The secret was long out for anyone with a functioning set of eyes and ears. I must conclude that some men simply want to be led to slaughter.

Is there a solution for these old Western men? Can they just learn game and start approaching girls in the cafe? I’m not sure, but expecting to hand over a pile of cash and get a wife in return reaches a level of stupidity that deserves, at the minimum, a bitch slap.

There is no shortcut to finding a wife. You must display your value through taking social risks in the form of approaches until a connection is cultivated. To think that an agency is going to do it for you because you’ve paid thousands of dollars, and expect any resulting marriage to be successful, is absurd.

She told him that the men are effectively paying to sit at a restaurant with a beautiful woman. If they are naïve enough to think there is a romantic attachment, then that is their problem.

Their problem indeed.

For more advice on having sex with Ukrainian girls, visit Roosh’s article How To Pickup Ukrainian Girls In The Club.

[aspoonofsugar]

What do you think of the Hunting Dogs? Specifically, what do you think of Tecchou and Jouno's role in the narrative (and Tachihara's)?

Hello anon!

I have briefly mentioned the Hunting Dogs here and here

These are some general thoughts on them I am quoting from the two metas I linked:

The Hunting Dogs are so obsessed by the idea of justice that they forget to balance it with empathy. All in all, if there are characters in the series who are “too correct” that would be them and not Yosano. They have failed to realize it so far, but it is possible they will have to rethink their ways.

After all, they are fighting against a group called the Decay of Angels. It has been said that this group wants to destroy the same society the Hunting Dogs want to protect and they are clearly using people’s ideals and biased concepts of right and wrong to manipulate them and turn them into accomplices of their scheme. All in all, they are the perfect enemies for the Hunting Dogs and the arc is clearly hinting at the fact that the Dogs will have to face their shortcomings (after all the current chapters are called Skyfall).

And again:

The Hunting Dogs are so convinced that they are the heroes who should punish criminals that they don’t even realize that the people they are trying to kill are innocent. They are so sure to be the right side that they can’t see that they have become pawns of that same criminal organization that they are supposed to stop.

I think that these two extracts highlight two ideas connected to the HD.

1) The danger of justice without empathy.

2) The hypocrisy behind some ideals people can embrace.

The first point can be easily summarized by using two words mentioned in Yosano’s story:

“Correctness” stands for justice, whereas “kindness” stands for empathy. In short, what is suggested is that judging a person only because of the results of their actions ignoring the feelings and the reasons why they took their choices is detrimental.

However, this is what the Hunting Dogs are doing:

Fukuchi is Fukuzawa’s childhood friend, but he has no hesitation in hunting and killing Fukuzawa’s subordinates even if it is implied he himself might not personally want it. He does so just because they have been identified as criminals.

In short they seem to be in the story to explore this idea:

Justice is a weapon. It can be used to cause harm, but it cannot protect or save others.

Dazai Osamu

The second point is interesting because it shows that deep down the HD are really no different from the stray dogs (both the mafia and the ADA) they despise so much.

Let’s consider this:

Here Tachihara is talking about the HD, but it is not by chance that his words could very well be true for the mafia as well:

This perfectly shows that ironically the HD are not much different from the mafiosi who are ready to kill others to maintain Mori’s idea of peace.

The HD are proud because they see themselves as heroes of justice. They are not stray dogs, but dogs selected and adopted by a master (aka the governement) and this makes them better than others. At least, this is probably what they force themselves to believe.

The ironic thing is of course that all of them are portrayed with attributes society would consider problematic.

Teruko is sadistic and violent, while Jouno enjoys psychologically torturing people. Finally Tachihara is in the HD simply because he wants to find a place to belong.

All in all, among the four subordinates, Tecchou is the one who probably genuinely believes in justice, but his idea is simplicistic and naive as it was explained in point one.

In short, the HD are imperfect humans just like everybody else and they have found a reason of living in their organization just like the members of the ADA and of the mafia did.

This is also why they are so easily manipulated. It is because in order to truly think about “right” and “wrong” in a constructive way, they should let go of the labels they use to read the world. However, they can’t because if they did they could very well lose themselves.

In the end the HD are foils of the detectives just like the mafiosi, but they are so in a different way.

The mafiosi are who the detectives could become if they were to completely lose themselves in their most violent and darkest parts, while the HD are who the detectives could become if they were to embrace simplicistic ideals over people. This is also why this arc has been particularly hard on Kunikida since among the members of the ADA he is the one who risks to do so the most.

I will now briefly discuss the connections between each HD and one member of the ADA they foil. Since the arc is not over, some of these ideas must be considered generally and we have to see how they will play out.

1) Fukuzawa ishares a past with Fukuchi exactly like he does with Mori:

Fukuchi is said to be a war hero and to have been granted a godly sword:

It is not known if the sword is supposed to have some special power, but from the way people talk about it, it seems also some kind of honorable gift. The director has received a similar gift at the beginning of the arc:

However, differently from Fukuchi, his role in the war is considered something which should stay hidden:

In short, the two men share a common past, have both built an organization and are proud of it. However, Fukuchi is a person society has completely accepted to the point he was given a title and a unit, whereas Fukuzawa has fought to leave his own past behind and to live a better life, but the moment he succeeds his past catches up with him:

2) Jouno has been clearly associated to Dazai:

Dazai himself comments they would go along pretty well because of their similarity. They are two cynics who have fun provoking their far more idealistic partners (Kunikida and Tecchou). What is more, they are both said to be experts at interrogating people.

This highlights the fact that both Dazai and Jouno are very good at reading others. Dazai is said multiple times to have eyes who can see everything, whereas Jouno claims that he can use his enhanced senses to perceive more things than others.

All in all the way Jouno is described during his official introduction is interesting:

Apart from his ability being called Priceless Tears which might suggest there is more to his eyes being kept closed, there is the fact that he is called the king of avidya.

I am not an expert of hinduism, but from what I understood thanks to @hamliet avidya can be seen as “ignorance” or “self-deception”.

The title fits Jouno who enjoys pointing out to others what they want to ignore about themselves:

However, the question is if Jouno himself can overcome his own ignorance and if he is being honest with himself. When it comes to this, I think his relationship with Tecchou might give us some interesing hints which could be developed in an interesting way.

In a sense, Jouno and Tecchou’s relationship seems similar to both Dazai and Kunikida’s partnership and potentially to soukoku too.

The soukoku’s similarities so far are superficial in the sense that both partnerships are made of a combination between a person who is extremely intelligent (Dazai and Jouno respectively) and one who is extremely strong (Chuuya and Tecchou). What is more, despite the fact that the two members are often coupled together, they don’t go along well.

However, despite these similarities, there is a key difference between Tecchou and Jouno’s partnership and Dazai’s one with both Chuuya and Kunikida and it is that so far Jouno has been far less successful than Dazai in going on his partner’s nerves.

So far, Tecchou has not been annoyed in the slightest by Jouno’s attempts to go in his way:

And he has also won their interrogation match:

This is interesting and it might have to do with the HD as a group having a far less nuanced idea of right and wrong than the agency does. All in all the agency deals with gray cases and some of his members like Dazai and Ranpo are not really interested in right and wrong, while others like Kenji seems to have a pretty vague idea of these two concepts. So it makes sense that in such an environment Kunikida is constantly challenged by his comrades. This is also something positive because Kunikida risks to become too rigid in following his ideals. At the same time he can inspire his comrades too:

All in all Kunikida’s ideals guide the agency and the agency keeps Kunikida in check and avoids that he goes too far in pursuing them.

However, the HD fight for justice and this is all:

So, it makes sense that Jouno’s attempts to challenge the dog who embodies justice the most fail.

However, this is interesting when it comes to Jouno. After all, why does Tecchou go on his nerves so much?

Jouno explains that Tecchou’s spirit lacks artistry. I think this is a way to say that Tecchou does not understand nuance and has a simplicistic vision of the world. This might be true, but why does Jouno care? Isn’t he a HD too? And if he is, shouldn’t he fight for justice too? It is possible that Jouno doesn’t actually like justice so much and might understand that it is an oversimplification. However, he doesn’t seem to care about people either and he enjoys seeing them suffer. In a sense, he might embody the darkest aspect of justice which is not interested in being fair, but simply in punishing someone and in seeing them fall apart.

3) As stated above, Tecchou’s foil is Kunikida:

This confrontation is interesting because it is really two different systems of ideals coming into conflict. This is also symbolized by their respective abilities.

On one hand Kunikida’s notebook is representative of his ideals and his power uses it to make them become concrete things. On the other hand Tecchou’s sword represents justice. The choice of having these two characters collide is interesting because one can easily see their conflict as a representation of the one between “the word” and “the sword”.

Kunikida’s ideals are made for people and what he wants is not to let people die in front of him. All in all, Kunikida is learning that ideals should bend and be flexible when it comes to people even if they must not be discarded. This is why in Moving Ahead Alone he doesn’t change his schedule to meet a person he admires, but he does so when it is about saving a little girl.

All in all Kunikida wants his ideals to spread and people to embrace them:

He might not go at it in the best way possible, but he still believes people can change and can be educated. After all he used to be a teacher.

Tecchou’s ideals are about justice and “fairness”:

He believes that bad deeds should be punished and good deeds should be rewarded and has decided to become a weapon to do so.

Let’s highlight that Tecchou seems to be extremely serious about this:

He is ready to be cut by his sword (aka justice) himself if he were to do something wrong and he is serious both about cutting criminals down, but also about protecting people he deems admirable. However, the problem is that it is not sufficient that he genuinely wishes to be fair to ensure that the world is. For example, he claims that he will not kill the members of the ADA and will give them a fair trial, but the whole reason why the detectives are running is that a fair trial is impossible:

So, Tecchou wants to establish justice, but he can’t because he is nothing more than an individual with a biased vision of the world exactly like all the others.

4) I don’t have many thoughts on Teruko, so I won’t write about her. We will see if she is given more focus later on. I find her power interesting, though.

5) Tachihara is a character linked to Yosano since the both of them are basically trying to overcome the death of the same person. I have briefly talked about it in the Yosano meta I linked above and I won’t repeat myself.

As for now, I think it is important to highlight that Tachihara foils Atsushi.

They have both been considered worthless by their guardians:

They both might have ended up becoming criminals:

But were found by an organization which gave them a new purpose and made them feel useful. Because of these two groups they have been usingtheir powers to help society.

Their foiling is made pretty obvious in the chapters centered on the Hunting Dogs since Tachihara is our main POV character there just like Atsushi is for the ADA.

What we learn about him in those chapters is that he really just wants to be recognized just like Atsushi (and Akutagawa):

At the same time he is using his job in the HD as an excuse to lash out on others when his brother is concerned:

All in all, hating Yosano for what happened is wrong since Yosano herself was a victim, but Tachihara still does so because he probably needs someone to blame. What his more, his role as a policeman gives him the perfect excuse to take revenge. In short, Tachihara has issues similar to Atsushi and shows very clearly that trying to overcome them by becoming “a good person” is something which won’t work:

Despite them being criminals he has grown to care for some people in the mafia and this goes against the coping mechanism he embraced and which might be overcome at one point because of these cracks.

At the same time, Tachihara also shows that killing other people to settle a score just ends up hurting others and solves nothing and this is something Akutagawa must learn:

Tachihara’s actions to avenge his brother hurt someone else’s little sister and it is probable that made Tachihara himself the target of revenge.

In conclusion, the HD exist to embody this concept:

Morality is a prison who gives people happiness because it makes them think that they are in the right and this gives them comfort. The Decay of Angels want to destroy this concept. However, they too are wrong because all in all morality together with other coping mechanisms are things humans come up with because they want to live. And to live it what everyone deep down wants:

In the end Gogol’s final scream of free will highlights exactly this. The HD are no different and they have just to accept it.

Thank you for the ask!

#bsd #bsd meta #hunting dogs #armed detective agency #ochi fukuchi #fukuzawa yukichi #dazai osamu #jouno saigiku #teccho suehiro #kunikida doppo #tachihara michizou #atsushi nakajima #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

[cassatine]

In the spirit of avoiding behemoth threads, finishing with Chapter Two of Queen’s Shadow in a new post. Things got long. 

Starting with a mea culpa, because I done fucked up when I said “It’s also not specified whether she intends to free the slaves she’d buy”, it is in fact there! I even quoted it (”I can use the assets I have to free what people I can”) so very much my bad. I felt a bit bad over my ungenerous reading, but it kinda balances out because I was also too generous in assuming Padmé’s personal crusade was against Slavery, The Institution, rather than slavery on Tatooine, specifically.

It’s one of the bits that made me go ‘why oh why,’ not because I think it doesn’t fit with Padmé’s character, but because to me it reads like... in TPM she was surprised to find there were slaves on Tatooine: "I can't believe there's still slavery in the galaxy. The Republic's anti-slavery laws -”. And it is a bit weird: as a politician and then a head of state she’s supposed to have a decent grasp on the actual state of the galaxy at that point, not to be naive enough to be surprised by the state of the Outer Rim or to to think slavery doesn’t exist at all in the galaxy. Irony of irony, the Nemoidians are actually listed on the wookiee as practicing it around TPM, deliberately stunting the growth of some of their young to make them into labour drones the Trade Federation... brings into the Senate.

(Seems there’s another slavery-in-civilized-space example with Czerka Arms in Master & Apprentice, which I haven’t read, but as far as I’m concerned two examples are enough to point to the fact that slavery was far from being a Tatooine or even Outer Rim only issue before Padmé was elected.) 

In Queen’s Shadow we’re four years later after she first witnessed slavery does exist (even if only by happenstance; if there’d been no forced landing on Tatooine who knows when she’d have realized) and she’s still at ‘slavery’s only a problem on Tatooine’. 

It’s not just that, though. It’s that it’s four years after her planet was invaded and the Senate proved to be useless (at one point in TPM she straight up says the Republic is broken) and she still believes it is - “I know how the Senate works”. Not that she doesn’t have reasons to believe it; there was the invasion itself, and as we learn it’s Republic courts that handle Nute Gunray’s trials. Trials plural, we lean from Palpatine: the third, he says, just “ended in a hung jury. Not the best outcome, obviously, but not the worst, either, given the strength of the Trade Federation’s legal team. The Republic lawyers must regroup, but they are already planning their next moves.”

We are all extremely surprised! This kind of thing is why Padmé doesn’t trust the Senate with the question of Tatooine slavery in the first place, after all. And I’m not saying it’s not an accurate assessment, because it is, but her plan boils down to 'hey democratic institutions are fucked but I’m rich so trickle-down economics it is. let’s do us some charity baby.’

Okay that was a little mean. The point is Padmé has reasons to see the Senate as useless, and she does. And we, the audience, know any push for reform would be useless too - we know how it all ends already, we know that the Senate is paralyzed by bureaucratic inertia, full of corruption, and we know Palpatine’s there to stack the deck against any meaningful internal attempt at reform. 

Padmé doesn’t! Well, she knows about the bureaucratic inertia and the corruption. She’s supposed to be an idealist, and she’s a politician; fixing the actual institutions should be the first thing she looks to. Sure, even without Padmé knowing how much the deck is stacked against that fix happening, it would probably look like an impossible task, but I’m pretty sure Padmé’s never been afraid of impossible tasks. And the Republic she believes in is the one she invokes when she says it stands against slavery; the one that’s supposed to mediate between members to avoid things like invasions. TPM showed her wrong on both counts, and instead of choosing to fix it the Idealist Politician Way (doomed crusade) she went with private intervention for slavery on Tatooine and slapped some cannons on Naboo.

Yeah that happened, I haven’t gotten to it yet but I looked up a few EKJ interviews and at some point before the book starts Padmé had planetary defenses installed, and apparently that was part of the platform her successor ran on too. So much for Naboo’s pacifism - an easier position to maintain when the Republic can actually be trusted to make sure invasion and the like are prevented, I suppose. 

One thing I keep coming back to wrt Tatooine is "I can’t bring official political change, given the state of most Outer Rim planets”. Because if she knows the state these planets are in, shouldn’t she have an idea of why. One of the major factors is Republic politics?? Quoting the wookie again, on Tarkin deets this time, for an example:

Several years before the Clone Wars, those in the Outer Rim eventually came to believe themselves victims of economic and social injustices, as Judicials were often withheld in intervening in Outer Rim affairs after many far-flung worlds refused to provide the Core with profitable deals. (x)

(Softly, but with feeling:) That’s corruption. It’s part of the context that allows slavery to flourish, and that’s the kind of things that’s, huh, hard to change without some politicking. It’s not a Hutt problem, or a backward planet problem. It’s a Republic problem. (Then again, if Padmé doesn’t think of slavery outside the bounds of one planet, then she doesn’t have to consider it in terms of a systemic issue at the galactic scale.)

All in all, we’re four years after TPM and Padmé’s trust in the Republic’s institutions’ ability to function is somewhere close to zero; it makes sense that she never considered leaving it despite that. What reasons does Naboo have to stay, if the Republic doesn’t work? That they don’t like the Separatists? That one of their own is Chancellor? That even with that one invasion they still have it better with the Republic than without? Padmé still calls to the Republic’s ideals because she believes in them, and I do think that’s part of why its decay is hard for her to face, but if she could put how much she cares for the slaves on Tatooine on the side for four years because of her Naboo’s needs first policy, maybe that policy played a role in Naboo’s NoLeave position too. 

I’m not saying Naboo should have left, or that Padmé’s in an easy position, watching the Republic fall apart with little power to change things - sure she has more influence than some Joe Random but even as Queen of Naboo it’s not like she can snap her fingers and fix the Republic, or slavery, or economic exploitation of the Outer Rim. She was a local ruler, not exactly Queen of the galaxy, and moreover those are systemic issues, they don’t have quick, easy fixes. 

It’s still weird that Padmé just... only looks to Naboo. I know I just said she’s a local ruler, so looking to Naboo is her job, and her planet did have to recover from an invasion. But once she realizes the Republic is broken, it’s also part of her job to think of the consequences for Naboo if the Republic stays broken, which should motivate her to try all she can not to let that happen (the consequences are not good). And realize that in the long-term, slapping canons on her planet while doing shit-all to fix the actual underlying systemic issues makes her part of the problem. In-universe, the invasion of Naboo isn’t a small event: if corporate entities like the Trade Federation can go after Mid Rim planets instead of stopping at exploiting the Outer Rim like everyone else, and still keep the seats they shouldn’t even have in the Republic and make their trials for invasion drag on for years (and it’s Nute Gunray’s trial, not the Trade Federation’s), it’s bad news for a lot of planets. And if every rich, ~civilized~ Republic member does it like Naboo, and no one does jack shit to fucking reform the Republic, then they’re basically saying it’s every planet for themselves and letting free run to predatory corporations like the Trade Federation, and it all goes even downer from there, because why wouldn’t some use the opportunity to finally get their hands on that moon or that asteroid or whatever else. Etc. Padmé doesn’t know there’s an Empire just waiting, so if she thinks the Republic is broken she should be worrying about the breakdown of its institutions

(Also, the fact that Padmé slapped cannons on Naboo and then went on to campaign against the creation of a Republic army is kind of ironic, because one of the selling points for that army probably was protecting those planets that can’t do it like Naboo.)

For all the ranting - everything checks out with how I see Padmé; it’s not that she doesn’t mean well, but Naboo’s privilege planet without even accounting with the Naboo fuckery and Palpatine mentored her. She has blind spots and she’s very good at not looking at what she doesn’t want to see. 

What it doesn’t check out with is the framing. I’m supposed to think Padmé’s brilliant. I checked!!

E.K. Johnston: I think a lot of what Padmé does in the movies goes on inside her head. So her brilliance and her political acumen, you don’t necessarily see it play out in the movies. Because she’s so smart, she doesn’t explain what she’s doing. Getting to kind of get inside her head a little bit, and write from the perspective of inside her head, you sort of see how smart and how talented and how deeply compassionate she is. In a dress that weighs 80 billion pounds or in a suit for sneaking around or whatever, she has it covered because she knows herself and she knows her friends so well. (x) 

Look if you want me to buy political acumen and brilliance and whatever, then maybe that’s what you should portray. I’m not even done grumbling, because the next (and last) noteworthy bit is between Padmé and Sabé - who didn’t know about the scheme, Padmé didn’t share it with anyone before Palpatine asked.

“I don’t have enough capital to free them all,” Padmé said, still avoiding the word buy.

“Then we’ll find out what they want on Tatooine and sell it to them in trade,” Sabé said.

“‘We’?” Padmé said, her heart in her mouth.

“Of course we,” Sabé said. “You haven’t tied your own shoelaces in four years. You’re going to need all the help you can get.”

Just as well that Sabé decides to help out, because I peeked ahead and Padmé’s going to be too busy Senatoring, and just like Queen, Senator is a post that’s completely incompatible with any kind of action on Tatooine apparently, so ofc she’ll drop the matter altogether but in the meantime, she’ll put Sabé on it. 

(If I didn’t already know Padmé was going to drop it, I’d probably have been nicer. But between that and having seen EKJ explain Padmé’s lack of reaction at the AOTC Tusken slaughter and lack of intervention re: the slavery situation... no.)

Anyway! EKJ’s angle is girl power and friendship (and role models), but I’m disappointed there isn’t more on the plan, because it’s not exactly the worst moment to show Padmé’s done her research - and she should have, since she’s supposed to care and to be smart - and that she actually has at least the beginning of an idea of “what they want on Tatooine”. Or that she’s aware that “they” covers a range of people from Jabba, ie local Hutt lords that probably profit from the slave trade in the first place, and I guess would be interested in money, bling (ie status symbols) or ugly deals thanks to her influence and contacts; to the Wattos and moisture farmers who have slaves for their labour - what they’d want is to replace that labour force and come up with a profit since they’re at it, or enough dough (local currency, Watto doesn’t take Republic credits) not to need it in the first place and live better than they do with that labour; to the actual slave traders who’ll mostly be interested in keeping their business going, so again, it’s mostly money they’d want.

And for the other options, discounting political deals with the Hutts because I very much doubt Padmé would go there... I am not particularly good at The Economics, but it does seem likely there are chances that trading “what they want” with Tatooine locals for slaves still involves an exchange of money at some point, so what Sabé’s really offering comes down to adding an intermediary step to the exchange of goods and in no way does that solve the capital issue. Really - what’s Padmé going to offer the Wattos of Tatooine, who don’t even take Republic credits? Not political favours, that’s for sure. Her wardrobe? Tried that one. A week at Lake Cuomo - experience the wonders of civilization, one-time offer?

Water would be an option - worth a lot on Tatooine, so maybe she can drain the lake at her family’s home in the Lake Country, although after that unless the next Queen gives her free reign over the rest of Naboo’s waters we’re back to money. Also that’d fuck over every moisture farmer on the planet, so maybe it’s not the best idea ever. She could use droids to solve the labour issue, maybe she can even get a price if she places a big order - I’m sure the Geonosians would love to help out, I hear they’re good at mass-producing cheap droids. Clones? I don’t remember that she was very vocal about their rights. Most likely it’ll come down to counting coppers - there’s probably plenty of places in the galaxy where a new vaporator is cheaper than on Tatooine. 

But if that kind of maths sounds ugly, it still doesn’t solve the finite capital problem - and if the one thing steeped in practicality Padmé has to say about her plan is ‘I don’t have the money for everyone’ then maybe that’s another reason to reconsider other options.

I’m also gonna point out that Padmé plans to have a massive impact on Tatooine’s labour force without apparently having considered the vacuum that’d create on a planet she knows to be poor and more lawless than not. It’s Hutt territory ffs, who’s going to step in if not them - and Padmé’s strategy not going to hurt them. It’s not that Tatooine’s economic model is good in any way, but if you just waltz in, take an axe to it and waltz back to fucking Lake Cuomo and your silk sheets, what’s going to replace is probably either more of the same, or worse.

In a similar but why vein, she says of the people she intends to free that she’ll “find them new homes, if they wish it” and I guess it’s supposed to sound good except if you think about it we’re talking about people who have nothing. Anakin and Shmi’s hovel isn’t *their*, it’s Watto’s; Anakin’s pod was only his because it was built out of junk (and because Watto has a modicum of decency somewhere inside). Freeing people is all well and good, but if you’re not actually giving them the tools to do so then you’re not really giving people a new start in life.

All this is why without actual systemic change what Padmé’s planning here is just plain fucked up: she’ll be injecting her assets into the very system she wants to go against, and do zero against the conditions that allow slavery to continue. Buying people, even to free them, is going to do shit against the institution of slavery itself, and if Padmé’s political acumen is supposed to be worth writing home about, then maybe she should show some awareness that she’s pulling some First World bullshit.

Previous notes: Chapter 1 / Chapter 2.a 

#this got way too long #*im gonna do a speedread* she said #but i wanted to think about that stuff before things start moving in the book #star wars #naboo #padme amidala #queen's shadow #legacies pinboard

[astralarias-old]

Extremely detailed asks for Atlaki please!

@salamanderapocalypse also asked about Atlaki so I’ll tag you here if that’s alright!

Thank you!! 💗

Sorry for no cut, I’m on mobile

The basics

1. Age, birthday, star sign

He’s 8 years old and /whispers/ I don’t know his birthday, shame, shame on me

2. Gender Identity

Masc-aligned nonbinary (he sees himself as ’male’ but how he relates to gender is from a non-human perspective that would be considered nonbinary)

3. Orientation and Relationship status (single, taken (by who?), crush (on who?)

Bisexual, taken by Cassien

4. Race and Ethnicity

Sylvari

5. Height and Body type

6”0, fairly lean body type.

6. Headcanon VA

I forget the actor’s name, but Hazel from the 2018 Watership Down remake.

7. Occupation

Commander and griffon trainer.

8. Weapon of Choice(?)

Axe and torch with a heavy touch of firebrand magic thrown in.

9. Hometown and current residence

The Grove; currently lives aboard a large airship.

10. Do they have any markings, piercings or scars?

Aurene-branded scar from where Bangar shot him, just over where a human heart would be. Ears are a bit torn here and there. Scar on his stomach from Balthazar.

11. Do they have any notable features, like horns, tails, or so on?

His canines are very pointed, and his nails tend to grow into claws, but he keeps them cut short.

12. Own any pets?

Two griffons, Buttercup and Orion!

13. Have any kids?

Nope. Unless you count Aurene.

14. Can they cook? Can they bake?

Don't let him in a kitchen unsupervised.

15. Can they sing? Can they dance?

Not fantastic, but he does, and yes, he enjoys dancing in private.

16. Can they drive?

Nope

17. Can they fight?

Yes, very well

18. Have any special keepsakes?

Caladbolg, although he doesn't use it. A magically preserved pressed flower from the Grove, to remind him of his roots (pun intended)

Interests

19. Hobbies

Griffon riding! He also enjoys sparring, and likes to paint in his (limited) free time.

21. Clothing/Aesthetic

Usually formal / armour, to present a strong appearance as commander. In casual settings he prefers to wear soft fabrics, as he struggles to grow his own armour nowadays.

23. Fave food(s) and drink(s)

Soups, potato dishes, bacon, chocolate, and for drinks he enjoys hot cocoa and just water. Isn’t too keen on alcohol.

25. Fave Color

Gold.

27. Fave Genre

Romance

29. Fave Season

Winter

31. City or Country?

Country

33. Guilty Pleasure

Eating way too much candy whenever he gets the chance.

Storytime

27. What’s their family like? Who’s in it? What’s their relationship with them?

Cassien is his partner, and Aurene he considers a daughter. The rest of Dragon’s Watch is like a family to him. The Pale Tree he feels conflicted towards - he is loyal to her, but also has some resentment towards her.

29. Are they literate? Did they go to school? How long? What level?

Yes, he learned to read during the war on Zhaitan. No school, being a sylvari.

31. What was childhood like?

N/A

33. What was adolescence like?

N/A

35. What’s their current main conflict?

Stopping Bangar and figuring out what Jormag’s deal is.

37. What steps have they taken to overcome this conflict?

Aside from canon story stuff: he’s started deeply researching Jormag, from old spoken legends to written accounts, in order to try to determine whether they are trustworthy or not.

39. How have they changed over time?

He went from an idealistic and naive sapling to someone desperate to make the world a kinder place even if it costs him his own life.

For Fun

34. What’s their room look like right now?

He lives on an airship and his room is pretty small. It’s kept neat and tidy, save for a few clothes on the bed. There’s one of Aurene’s glittering scales on his bedside table, and a vase of blue, night-blooming flowers

36. What are they like as a friend?

He’s loyal, attentive and sometimes overbearing. Always there if you need him, but needs encouragement to learn to have fun.

38. What are they like as a partner?

Supportive to the max, to the point he can be suffocating if he doesn’t get a hold of himself. Very loving and considerate, and again, extremely loyal.

40. Do they have any phobias?

Mind-control.

42. Did/do they go anywhere special for vacations?

He enjoys going the Labyrinthine Cliffs for the Festival of the Four Winds!

44. Your character walks into a cafe. What do they order?

Hot cocoa with whipped cream and marshmallows, and a chocolate chip cookie.

46. What time do they go to bed, usually?

11 pm - 3 am

48. What’s their morning routine like?

Get dressed, wash face, feed griffons and let them out to fly, have breakfast, contact Dragon’s Watch.

50. What’s the dumbest thing your character’s done?

Attempted a nosedive on his first griffon. Immediately passed out from the G force and fell off. Luckily the griffon caught him in midair and set him down on the ground. It isn’t a story he likes to tell.

52. What pokemon would your character be (if they’re already a pokemon/gijinka tell us what they are, and how that’s affected them)?

I know like 5 Pokemon, rip

54. What’s their pokemon team? Try to pick all 6.

Again, my Pokemon knowledge is sadly limited.

56. Theme song (and a playlist if you’ve got it!)

Perseus - the Unknown Brain

58. If this character was in a musical, what would their motif be (what kind of instruments do you hear, what’s the tempo, ect).

Strong but sad violin, slow tempo.

The Deep Lore™

47. What was this character’s biggest turning point in their life, something that changed them almost completely?

Trahearne’s death. The entirety of HoT marked his turn from “everything will work out in the end, good always wins, etc” to “maybe I can’t do this, but I have to try, even if it kills me.”

49. What was their lowest point? What was their highest point?

Lowest point was again, Trahearne’s death. It shook him to his core. His highest point wasn’t really one specific thing, but when Cas began to recover from the Nightmare. Every victory felt like a step towards healing for the both of them.

51. What are some themes tied to your character’s story?

Doing what’s right no matter the cost, found family, recovery from trauma.

53. What are some motifs associated with your character?

Deep blue, birds of prey, ancient ruins, stars, fire, pine trees.

55. What were some inspirations for your character (people, movies, games)?

Katara was a big one! I can’t recall any others by name right now but I really like how Katara’s anger and her kindness are so intertwined and I wanted to incorporate that into a character of my own.

57. How are you and your character the same? How are you different?

We both have a strong sense of morality and get angry when people cause unnecessary harm. We’re also both pretty stubborn, and shy. The main difference is Atlaki is a lot better with words than I am, I think xD

59. Expectations vs Reality: what did you expect and what did you get with this character?

I made him just wanting a sylvari character, and I ended up with my main commander.

61. What does your character want, and what do they need?

He wants to save Tyria.

He needs to learn he doesn’t have to carry that burden on his shoulders alone, and it’s okay to not do all things all the time.

63. What’s your character’s core trait? What’s their best trait? What’s their worst trait? When happens when these all interact with each other?

His core trait is determination.

His best trait is kindness.

His worst trait is how he can have a single-minded focus on things to the detriment of other issues.

Put together, he can be very determined to help someone in what he thinks is the right way, but in reality he could be missing the underlying cause of their problems.

65. What’s your overall goal with this character? Will they get a happy ending or will they succumb to their faults?

My goal is to get him to a point where he can balance his own life and desires with his job as Commander, and move on from his trauma to a happier future. He will absolutely get that happy ending!

[yundaysss]

AAAA hello everyone i’m peep and this is my bb evelyn !! :~) i haven’t tumblr rp’d in like two years so a bitch is gonna be learnin as she goes but i’m soooo excited bc everyone’s muses look dope as hell and everyone seems so cool and UGH y’all i am so Ready ... IOJEQIQJW but yes this is evelyn shes sweet dramatic naive idealistic and just started her dj career and lowkey has a secret child ugh anyway lets mf GO <3

˖ °╰ ⌜ [ MUSE 3, KIM CHUNGHA, TWENTY-THREE, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER ] hey, have you seen EVELYN YUN ? last time i saw them i think they were hanging around THE GOOD ROOM. they can kind of be IDEALISTIC but can also be pretty SUSCEPTIBLE. they’re often caught listening to HERE BY NAMASENDA ! they also tend to remind me of  NEON FAUX FUR, Y2K ERA BUBBLEGUM POP, CHARLIE’S ANGELS, ZENON: GIRL OF THE 21ST CENTURY, POWERPUFF GIRLS ! let me know if you’ve seen them around, they’ve been working at the championship around ONE YEAR and they’re late for their shift ! (  peep , 22 , est , she/her )

STATISTICS  

FULL NAME:  evelyn  yun NICKNAME(S): evie,  eve,  e AGE:  twenty - four GENDER + PRONOUNS:  cis  female + she/her ORIENTATION:  bisexual ZODIAC:  cancer  sun,  leo  moon BIRTHDAY: june  30th,  1996 PLACE OF BIRTH:  syracuse,  new  york LOVE LANGUAGE:  words  of  affirmation,  quality  time OCCUPATION(S):  championship  vinyl  employee  by  day,  aspiring  dj  by  night DRINKING / DRUGS / SMOKING:  yes / yes / sometimes LABEL:  the  loose  cannon / one  who  cannot  control  their  own  emotions  and  may  act  out  as  a  result  of  this TRAITS: (+) idealistic,  good-natured,  reflective,  loyal,  sensitive,  playful,  reliable,  resourceful,  sentimental,  shrewd,  / (-) susceptible,  imprudent,  escapist,  dependent,  naive,  distracted,  moody,  overemotional,  dramatic

BIOGRAPHY

the following biography page contains the following: abortion mention, underage partying.

read at your own risk.  

she was born in the 90′s, in the midst of europop and grunge. and yet, evelyn was born into what she would later feel to be a very boring situation — two scientists working at syracuse university who were on the cusp of their forties. besides her parents, she has one older brother who is seven years his junior, which caused a bit of a power struggle in her childhood. from a very young age, she felt the weight of filling shoes that were too big for her. never seeing her parents fail openly in front of her caused the girl to have an enormous weight of pressure as soon as grades started mattering in middle school. the pressure didn’t just come from her parents, either. as evelyn was coming into her own, her brother was there every step of the way to push her confidence back down. always under the guise of ‘playing around’ and ‘just teasing’, her self worth quickly eroded until he moved out when she was fourteen. 

which lead to the mess that was her high school experience. it wasn’t long before she realized she didn’t have a knack for school and her wilted self worth was convincing her that she never will. eventually, she found comfort in online forums and social network platforms, often friending complete strangers, which later evolved into coming across profiles of people in the nyc underground nightclub scene. from this, these profiles soon became her closest friends and the people she felt truly understood her the most. so of course, by the time she was able to drive, she decided to sneak out on the weekends to new york city and meet these people.

and, truthfully, it wasn’t bad. at first. they were very welcoming and supportive, and always knew where to go to have the chaotic night they all wanted. they helped evelyn score a fake id (though, to their knowledge, she was nineteen, never realizing she was sixteen the whole time) and eventually helped score her smaller drugs like weed. but after having weed and later trying pills, the teenager kept craving more and more, wanting to both escape and feel closer to the music, the people, everything, more more more. which is where things got rough.

first off, it was inevitable that her parents would find out as evelyn was never good with lying. she would tell them she’s going to nyc to network or some bullshit, she would come home the next day clearly looking wrecked, her parents would yell at her, take her car away too. but she’d always find a way back to the city on the weekends. when she wouldn’t come home for days? and even miss days of school? yeah, they were starting to worry the fuck out. also because, evelyn stopped coming home one weekend. she didn’t answer her parents’ messages and truthfully, she felt like she’d be happy never returning back to her old life. which is why she moved in with her club boyfriend at the time at seventeen.

it was a mature decision for sure, but very reckless. and the severity of the situation did not hit her until a year later, when she realized she missed her period. and she wanted to get an abortion, definitely, but honestly a part of her thought maybe this was the plan for her life. that this would give her structure, force her to grow up a bit, and her boyfriend had surprisingly been supportive at this point; the two still being in the honeymoon phase a whole year later. so, at 3:04am on december 3rd, 2014, her beautiful boy charlie was born. and at 8:32pm on july 26th, 2016, her boyfriend left. apparently deciding to spend some time in thailand to ‘figure his shit out’. must be fucking nice.

it stabbed her to her core that this person, who helped define her recent years, was suddenly gone and she had to raise his child all alone at twenty. the bone-crushing pressure she was so successful at escaping for years returned in full again and she wasn’t able to handle it. she decided to contact her ex-boyfriend’s parents, knowing calling her own for advice was not an option and recognizing that the child would grow up in a more emotionally and financially stable environment with them. and since that day, his parents has been charlie’s legal guardians. though, evelyn still makes a trip to the upper east side every weekend to see him.

WANTED CONNECTIONS / OTHER

i have a page HERE with like four ideas but lets def plot and figure out our own thing too ayooo <3 

also lmk if you want me to give you a rundown of the bio since it’s long :~)

#evelyn.bio