#but the reason why I hate it ain’t solely because I like other ships it’s because of a personal matter | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hanijunk · 3 years

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Alright boys, girls, and nonbinary folks of the world. It’s 5:36am (1/30 when I first started) as I decide to give up on my attempt to continue to focus on learning statistics, avoid studying for my two upcoming midterms, and put off my two actual essays for two different classes.

Instead we’re going into a dive about ✨ KazuFuuma ✨ . Is this me telling you you gotta ship it? No of course not, you’re entitled to your own ships! You don’t really gotta care about it as a ship. But I do want people to recognize it’s THERE canonically, and how disregarding it is extremely unfair to Kazuki as a character particularly. Also, I’m working on the assumption anyone clicking this at least knows the bare bones about what KazuFuuma (ex. You know they are a ship of Kazuki/Fuuma from Dolce, you know they are childhood friends, you know who Dolce is, you know about Honeyworks, etc.) I’ll be making references to specific things, but I won’t always go into heavy detail. Might just hope you know it or take my word for what it is, and go into analyzing it. Some I’ll put direct references to find, but some I’ll trust you can find it yourself. If you somehow read this MAMMOTH and want reference to a specific thing mentioned, hmu I can help you find it!!

Also I hate tumblr formatting sm if you legit wanna read this 7 page essay but hate tumblr format lmk I'll add it as a google doc link instead too. anYWHO

Before actually getting into the meat of things lemme preface some stuff.

Again it’s like almost 6am so this will be disorganized and very train of thought (and likely long due to the fact when I fly by the seat of my pants I’m known to get unnecessarily extensive). It’s definitely gonna be in large part why it’s important to recognize as a romantic relationship foundation and what about it shapes Kazuki’s character in particular. Maybe a bit of how it’s been built up and its general focus and implications. Dunno yet. We’ll see LMAOO

I say f*ck. Not a lot, just a handful of times. This ain’t something scholarly this is for my own enjoyment so if you don’t like that might not wanna read. And it’s not like spitefully I just curse a lot if you haven’t...read my tags before lol

Again this is through the lens of a Kazuki stan. Of COURSE I’m going to have some level of bias, but if anything that bias may help more than hurt because that means I become FIXATED and think a lot about Kazuki. Which plays into establishing just how important it is that Kazufuuma’s relationship is recognized, especially in a romantic light at this point. Lmfao.

I’ll have a few more prefaces about the actual content below but to keep this from getting too long if you wanna read come below the cut owo

I have extremely limited knowledge of Japanese just taking a few classes in highschool (so like 3 yrs ago) and live in America. This means a lot of my knowledge is gathered through the english translations of the super duper incredible and lovely people in the Honeyworks fandom who provide translations (delaix and takanenene esp have provided so much for me being able to understand Dolce) and my own limited Japanese paired with Google Translate for things that remain untranslated.

This only will be drawing on information I have come in contact with and have access to and making assumptions based on that, most (if not all) of which is in the public domain. So things like the Dolce Manga Volumes released via Animate, exclusive 4komas, and Light Novels are out of my area for the most part (apart from again snippets of translations thanks to this fandom’s godlike and generous translators).

I will not be drawing on anything from the first Dolce album with the exception of Nade Nade. From a meta standpoint, I consider those songs as songs made as performance media as opposed to character explorations. Nade Nade is the exception because (1) it was released a whole year before the album and (2) you can tell it’s explicitly an exploration of Fuuma and Kazuki’s interpersonal relationship even if it’s in a slightly more performance based context than the songs that came out with the Dolce LNs. Easiest parallel I can make to show this is if you held Non-Fantasy, Yume Fanfare, and Samishigariya up against each other, you could tell the difference in intended audience and intended purpose the same way the Dolce 1st album, Nade Nade, and the songs of the LNs do respectively. Even if there is some basis to ground Kazufuuma, for the purposes of this essay I’ll be acting under the assumption the 1st album falls under the Non-Fantasy equivalent category.

THAT WAS A LOT OF PREFACING CONSIDERING LIKE 2 PPL WILL PROBABLY READ IT I just have a tendency to anytime I do anything analytical lay down ground acknowledgements for myself to work on just...cuz it makes me feel less guilty for any accidental misinformation even if I’m writing towards my future self to read lolll IM SORRY WITHOUT FURTHER TO DO HERE’S THE BRAIN DUMP

First let’s go ahead and establish why it needs to be recognized as an important relationship. Again, I’m a Kazuki stan. He’s my favorite character not only of Dolce but also of the entire Honeyworks series, and as much as I love him for reasons outside the ship, whether you like it or not Kazufuuma is an essential aspect of his character and narrative. Of course there’s the fact that him and Fuuma are childhood friends, so that’s going to in part define their characters and interactions with each other and those around them. They’re both going to be relevant to one another and important to one another’s stories to an even greater extent than the rest of the members of Dolce. But on Kazuki’s side at least, it’s an EXTREME amount. A running plotpoint in Dolce Diary is the sheer amount of dedication Kazuki has to Fuuma and how much his thoughts and decisions are influenced by Fuuma, whether it be how he feels happiest spending time with Fuuma, how he decided to get his piercing to represent he wanted to protect Fuuma, how he doesn’t want to dislike food so he can eat what Fuuma dislikes, etc. Not to mention running jokes about his borderline overprotectiveness and downright possessiveness of Fuuma, how proud he is when Fuuma gets praised, or that one 4koma that literally explicitly states he can read Fuuma’s mind when he thinks motherfucking ‘dirty thoughts’ about his childhood friend (Fuuma). I still don’t know what the fuck to make of that last bit. Genuinely. Or the fact it’s a fucking running joke. As in it’s not a one off. It’s been brought up multiple times. Kazuki what the fuck.

That’s not to say that he doesn’t have character outside of Fuuma or he doesn’t interact with people other than Fuuma. He’s great friends with Sara, Girisha, and Kippei and is shown time and time again to have fun interactions with all of them, generally acting as the best support friend for every member of the group, not Fuuma alone. For instance how he helps Kippei with his self confidence issues or stays over at Sara’s to protect him from a cockroach (which he fails at lol). Nor is that to say all his interactions involving Fuuma focus solely on his devotion to Fuuma, especially in instances where the manga focuses on Dolce as a group dynamic (though even in that setting there are times where jokes about his devotion are thrown in). He’s kind, he’s stupid, he’s friendly, he’s an amazing character in his own right, and I love him for all those reasons. But that doesn’t change the fact a major part of his character and his character interactions are rooted in Fuuma, and arguably some of his most interesting, eccentric, and notable behaviors and traits revolve around Fuuma (again the mind reading for example).

Hell let’s take it one step further. If you look at the character bios of the Dolce members, you get everyone’s motives for being an idol and interests. Of them, Kazuki is the only one to have another character mentioned directly, not to mention that supporting Fuuma is explicitly stated to be his primary motive as to why he became an idol. Not even Fuuma’s sister is mentioned, though two arguments can be made for this. The first would be that Fuuma’s backstory about wanting to fulfill his dream for himself and his sister was decided later to explain Fuuma’s choice to crossdress though it can be argued it was intentionally done to leave it as a reveal at a later date, to which I would argue I don’t think this backstory was a choice in post. While Fuuma’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra exploring that backstory was released a little less than a year after Dolce was revealed, the preview to set up Fuuma’s backstory was actually the first thing released after the character bios on the Dolce Official Twitter page if you exclude a drawing of Dolce from Yamako. The second argument could be that information about his sister was intentionally withheld to set up the reveal when Fuuma’s extra released to explore it. However, going by that logic (which I do agree with), that would also mean that Fuuma’s inclusion and importance in Kazuki’s character bio also set up his dedicated extra, which I don’t think would be incorrect to assume considering what his actual extra turned out being.

Which brings me to the thing that makes it inexplicable to write off the romantic implications behind Kazufuuma: Kazuki’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra, Suki. I shipped Kazufuuma before even knowing of Suki, sure. But the fact that Suki even exists is a shock to me and drove into me the fact that Kazufuuma wasn’t just my own projection. Again, it’s not a surprise that Fuuma shapes Kazuki’s life. They’re childhood friends, of course they’re going to be important to each other. But this extra explicitly brought Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma under a direct spotlight. At first I was thinking oh, this extra was just to acknowledge the fact that Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship can have romantic implications, but the end of it the conclusion that we got was that it didn’t matter what type of “like” he felt for Fuuma. Originally, I thought it wasn’t anything more than saying there are all types of like, and it doesn’t always need to be explicitly defined, but I appreciated the fact they were aware that they were writing Kazuki in a way that conveyed romantic implications.

Then I thought about it because, again, I love Kazuki of course I’m going to think about his character extra, and realized...that’s not how these character extras have worked. There are only three character extras out as far as I know and have read: Fuuma, Kippei, and Kazuki. If we look at Fuuma and Kippei’s, each extra had a conclusion, sure, but they didn’t have a resolution. Rather, they were simply setting up explicitly what each character’s primary character arc and conflict were. Fuuma’s extra brought attention to the fact that he’s particularly a crossdressing idol by exploring the motives behind it. His choice to be a crossdressing idol is constantly under fire both by himself and the world around him. He’s not immune to those who consider his crossdressing strange, and a part of his story is both finding people who accept his decision to crossdress and to succeed for himself as a crossdressing idol. It’s an essential part of how we understand and define him as a character and it’s a central part of how he interacts with the world around him. For Kippei, it lays the severity of his insecurity under the spotlight and his journey and motives for improving himself. Again, this isn’t something isolated and resolved in the extra; his extreme insecurity and negativity is constantly affecting how he interacts with practically everyone from his fellow Dolce members to his fans despite the fact in all honesty? He’s fucking insanely talented in his own right, his own brother mentioning how smart he is and how he has amazing reflexes. For Kippei, his negativity is an essential part of how we understand and define him and central to how he interacts with the world as much as Fuuma’s decision to crossdress is to him.

Which brings us back to Kazuki, of course. In his dedicated extra, in the chapter that’s supposed to explore and establish and bring attention to an essential part of his character, the aspect of himself under investigation is how he feels about Fuuma. It’s not just how he behaves around Fuuma, it’s explicitly an exploration of his feelings, on top of the fact it’s explicitly an exploration about whether or not he likes Fuuma r o m a n t i c a l l y. Literally the conflict is spurred on by someone outright asking “Do you like him?” and having to clarify “I mean romantically.” What they decided to focus on for Kazuki’s character and emphasize and establish is that Kazuki’s like towards Fuuma toes the line between friendship and romance. His ambiguous feelings towards Fuuma (if we leave them inconclusive as Suki did) are just like Fuuma’s crossdressing and Kippei’s insecurity in the sense the weight of whatever those feelings may be are seen in how he interacts with the world around him and influences his behaviors. It would be another story if they introduced the potential and shut it down all within the extra, because then his central conflict would to me be less directly open to romantic potential and more simply about how his arc was meant to explore the dynamic of the behavior of an extremely dedicated best friend. The fact that he may be romantically attracted to Fuuma or may be only platonically dedicated to Fuuma is instead something that looms over Kazuki in the same way Fuuma’s decision to crossdress constantly looms over him. It’s what Dolce wanted to point to and say this is Kazuki’s central character conflict and central arc: exploring what type of feelings he has towards Fuuma.

Sure, it can be argued that there’s only three Dolce Diary character extras, there’s not enough to be sure about that being the purpose of the extras unless we get the other two’s extras. First, at this point I honestly don’t know if or when they’re going to release an extra revolving around Sara and Girisha just because not only has it been over a year and a half since the latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Kazuki’s) was released despite the gap between the first and latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Fuuma’s and Kazuki’s) were within a year of release but also because the Dolce 4komas and comics they’ve been posting to Twitter have decreased (last one being over half a year ago) potentially due to them deciding to focus on releasing Dolce manga content through the purchasable volumes instead. (This is not particularly related to the Kazufuuma argument, just wanted to put out there my two cents on what Sara and Girisha’s extra/focal arc would be. Based on a large part of the Dolce Diary in conjuncture with Can’t an Idol Fall in Love, I’d argue Sara’s would be his journey to regain his passion for performing, and if it’s not that I’d say it’d be coming out of his self-imposed isolation and opening up to people again. As for Girisha, I have less of a concrete idea but I’m assuming it’d be something pertaining to how people often misconceive him whether it be in tandem with his determination, his optimism and sociability, or his stupidity/ability to ignore those misconceptions and work past them. But Girisha is treated like the comedic relief 90% of the time so I’m not entirely sure, but his primary conflict is definitely rooted in misconceptions of him being his roadblock imo. #MoreGirishaContentPlz) That being said, I personally feel like the three are already enough evidence, especially considering it would be honestly even more cruel for Kazuki’s character-centric extra to be focusing on something that wasn’t essential to his character and character arc, anyway. And though it’s not explicitly stated that these chapters are extras exploring a central character, you can kind of tell based on how they are (to my knowledge) the only Dolce Diary updates with cover/title cards each which include their focal character front and center. So working off that fact, the Kazuki-centric chapter established that a pillar to his narrative was his feelings towards Fuuma and that those feelings are still open to romantic potential.

But if you follow me, this is why up until Can’t an Idol Fall in Love With Another Idol’s release, I was terrified of them writing that off. I would have been ok if it was just an arc that was given attention then continued to actively work in the background, as all the character arcs have been over all of Dolce’s content. The fact that they might be giving Fuuma a love interest and giving Fuuma a love arc while Kazuki’s feelings were still up in the air and were still the primary highlighted narrative for him would have been fucking scuffed. To me, it would be like… why would they make him so Fuuma-centric to the point that even his dedicated chapter was not just focused on Fuuma but focused on the ambiguity and potential of him having romantic feelings for Fuuma, yet reduce him to being Fuuma's designated right-hand man. Don’t get me wrong, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. But again, rather than conclude Kazuki’s answer in Suki to be that his feelings were of friendship, they left it open ended and allow audience members to be actively aware that Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma still had potential to be romantically coded. It would just be so weird to quickly close off that narrative by giving Fuuma a love interest as opposed to letting Kazuki conclude it himself. It would be fucking beyond frustrating for me, at least Eventually, I kept trying to drive my hopes that they would explore Kazuki’s narrative at all down to the ground because it was a Fuuma-centric novel; maybe if anything they’d explore those feelings in his own novel after the fact. But then they kept having little drops here and there of Kazuki being even the slightest bit relevant and I’d go back to questioning “Are??? They??? Is this on purpose??? Do they know what they’re doing or are they just doing this because Kazuki’s just so important to Fuuma as his best friend that he’s there as his right-hand I genuinely can’t tell???” And um. Welp.

Safe to say Can’t An Idol Fall in Love sold me on the fact that they know what they’re doing LOL. And to anyone who thinks that Kazuki’s feelings can still be read as ambiguous in CAIFILWAI as opposed to explicitly romantic - whether it be due to a fear they may pull the “I like him as a friend” card or due to the disbelief that they have an explicit mlm main character in the Honeyworks series - I’d like to cover any bases that may make you think this way. If you think it’s just Kazuki acting like a protective friend, why do you think he calls Yui a rival? If you’ve only seen the MV and think it’s ambiguous or can be taken as the "likfe" for friend, then does that mean you think Yui’s feelings toward Fuuma are also ambiguous or as a friend? With the way Yui responds, she is trying to rival Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma. She and Kazuki recognize whatever feeling it is that they hold towards Fuuma, both of their feelings are the same type. I don’t think most people would argue that Yui’s confession about Fuuma was one of pure respect and friendship. Plus, if anything I’d argue of the three characters in the MV, Fuuma is the one whose feelings are left the most ambiguous despite him being the central character. It’s heavily implied that he may be forming feelings for Yui, but nowhere is it established either in the song or in the MV, especially if you compare it to Kazuki and Yui’s declarations or if you compare it to Sara’s feelings for Uru in Can’t An Idol Fall in Love. Fuuma’s romantic narrative here is trying to figure out how he feels for Yui, while for Kazuki and Yui they’ve established a rivalry because they both have mutually established they like Fuuma romantically.

If the MV isn’t enough for you and Suki isn’t enough for you for...some reason…??? You can check out the snippets of the light novel which the wonderful takanenene translated: one which revisits the conflict set up in Suki and one that covers the confession scene in the MV in more detail. If the fact that the conflict set up in Suki (aka the lurking feeling of not knowing if all he felt for Fuuma was only platonic or more than platonic) was specifically reestablished in the LN for anyone who didn’t keep up with Dolce Diary didn’t tip you off that it was something important, his behavior in the confession scene as depicted by the LN definitely should have. He’s possessive about his spot by Fuuma’s side. He doesn’t want that spot to be taken by anyone else. Even if he knows that they can help Fuuma, he wants it to be him. And this line: “Kazuki then trails off his words, quietly saying ‘That’s why…’ and then gave Yui a slightly painful smile, his cheeks turning red,” before he declares Yui a rival and states he likes Fuuma. If you can tell me you read that line and are still on the fence about Kazuki’s “like” towards Fuuma being romantic, please message me and I will see how I can get through to you. Like it wasn’t even just a romantically coded confession. It’s just a romantic confession. That “like” is romantic. And I’m so proud that he’s not only come to understand for himself how he feels, but that he’s confident enough to ask the person he sees as a romantic rival to speak in private and not only clarify her feelings for Fuuma but before she can even do that firmly establishes that he loves Fuuma with conviction. Kazuki my boy I’m so proud of you. *sniffs*

And that’s it for establishing Kazufuuma as at least canonically one-sidedly canon and why there’s not only no reason to deny it but also why denying it is a fucking disrespectful move towards Kazuki. He’s a character, sure, but that doesn’t change the fact you shouldn’t write off his struggle to come to be convicted enough to say it out loud. This has been something weighing on him at least a year, if not more (all I know is it started when both he and Fuuma were in some year in middle school). And as a character in a piece of media, I’ve been saying this the entire time, but brushing it off as non-romantic is literally chucking a fucking pillar of his character’s story into the gutter. And to those who may be saying Kazuki’s confession came out of nowhere and is pandering reread this entire fucking essay again I dare you to do it and tell me to my face it’s pandering. Again. Writing off the buildup as pandering is disrespectful to him, disrespectful to his character and narrative, and disrespectful to the wonderful people who have been creating Dolce so diligently and have crafted this narrative for us. Saying his “supposed feelings” and “ambiguous confession” is pandering is like saying Fuuma’s crossdressing is pandering which. If you say either of those I will find you and I will shank you in the fucking gut. Even if you’re not fully into Dolce, recognize these characters are actually very well developed and executed amazingly, as per every Honeyworks character that has come to exist. I don’t blame you if you weren’t aware of the weight of Kazufuuma, but now that you read this I hope you are. That’s mainly what I needed to get out there, but as follows will be me more exploring how Kazufuuma has been built up and generally waving my hand off at where it may be going. If you want you can dip, thanks for reading up to here because I know I repeated a lot because it’s just. So important to drill into your head and has been something I’ve been hung up about constantly. LOL

As for where exactly they’re taking it from this point on, I honestly don’t know. In all honesty, I didn’t even expect them to take it the direction they did. But honestly, I think the direction they went with it is really interesting and better than I could have imagined, in my opinion at least. Honeyworks never ceases to amaze me with their storytelling and narrative choices, and I don’t think there’s any that stand out to me as being severely questionable that they haven’t reapproached at some point down the line. And, again, I think they’re treating this with a lot of care and deserved respect. So I’m just gonna be gushing about how smart they set it up and how smart they’ve been executing it and maybe my own hopes on the direction it could go.

Whether they make Kazufuuma reciprocated I have no real clue or bearings, but to me my gut reaction is they will. Of course, I’m biased, but again if you trace things all the way back to 2018 and step through Dolce’s content and growth from there, I’d say even if they didn’t know if they could execute it like this and see it to fruition, I’d argue that Kazufuuma has been at least heavily implied since the beginning as a relationship they wanted to explore from both sides of the relationship. Obviously I brought up Kazuki’s character bio already, but if you look at the *goes to count* 5th Dolce Diary update already has a joke jabbing at the fact that Kazuki is technically Fuuma’s type (and the way Kippei and Kazuki excitedly react is so cute). The fifth update. And as stated before there are tons of Kazufuuma moments in Dolce Diary, whether it’s played for comedic effect or played straight (and this is post Suki but oh my god I’ve said it before I’ll say it again get yourself someone who looks at you the way Kazuki looks at Fuuma oh my jesus). But song-wise, I mentioned the one Dolce album song I would bring up is Nade Nade and this is where it comes!

Not only is Nade Nade specifically focused on Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship as opposed to the whole of Dolce despite being the first song, it included the setup/preview of the Fuuma-centric extra prior to the full release of the Fuuma-centric extra itself and was released early as fuck. Literally between the 6th and 7th update to Dolce Diary. Sure, it could be to isolate them as a duo for marketing purposes (they’re very often the two promoted idols together if the whole of the group aren’t included), but the way it’s established as a perspective song as opposed to a general idol duet is what fascinates me. Anyone who didn’t know about Dolce prior and only followed Honeyworks for music would be first introduced to these characters through this song alone, and maybe this is where my Kazufuuma bias comes from but I was one of those people LOL. I thought it was just a cute one-off relationship that they had set up for the purpose of a song and that it was an implied friends-to-lovers story that would never get a conclusion. Also I mistakenly thought Fuuma was a girl oop-. In the full context of Dolce, this song in part helped establish Fuuma and Kazuki more solidly as a unique duo out of all of Dolce, but it also specifically explored through Fuuma’s eyes just how much Fuuma recognizes and appreciates the unwavering support Kazuki gives him to follow his dreams as he wishes. For Fuuma, he loves Kazuki too, though whether it holds any romantic potential in the same way Kazuki loves him has never been explored to nearly the same extent. But Fuuma appreciates how Kazuki’s remained by his side and does everything he can to support him, so Nade Nade explores how his way of expressing his love and thankfulness to Kazuki is by never saying that he needs Kazuki by his side. He’s glad Kazuki’s always been there for him, and his reciprocation takes on the form of being ready to unwaveringly support Kazuki and not ask for more than he already has, even if it meant Kazuki would be leaving his side, despite the fact that he really does wish they could remain together forever just as Kazuki does. The one point he lets himself say something vaguely close to always wanting to stay together, he gets a surprised expression out of Kazuki and says an ambiguous “suki dayo.” Of course, this it much less romantically coded than what we get from Kazuki in Suki and CAIFILWAI, but there is an interesting emphasis put on it nonetheless. Keep in mind, this is all established through the song, which released long before not only Fuuma’s character-centric extra released but also Kazuki’s character-centric extra released, so there is at least a substantial setup for Fuuma’s feelings towards Kazuki’s being strong as well and possibly grow to be reciprocated one day.

I think for me the most fascinating part about Nade Nade is how they tied it back around to Can’t An Idol Fall In Love with Another Idol. Again, without remembering Nade Nade, I still thought CAIFILWAI was brilliantly explored and executed, even if some people would have preferred no love triangle. But honestly, revisiting Nade Nade makes me trust even more the direction they’re taking with this. Whether or not they make Kazufuuma canon mutually (which. Even if they for some inexplicable reason didn’t I’m going down with this ship.), I’m sure they’re putting a lot of thought into the story, because the last bit of Nade Nade directly parallels the misunderstanding that arose from Fuuma mishearing the Kazuki and Yui. Fuuma is resolved to support Kazuki in any area he’s given the chance, and that explicitly includes if Kazuki had some girl he liked, which is what he assumes is going on. The fact that they tied this back around in the form of a misunderstanding was really really smart and Honeyworks is always so good at parallels and references back to their older songs, but for some reason I didn’t expect this. I don’t know how to say why, but the fact that the song that started it all, kicked off both Dolce and Kazufuuma, was directly referenced both visually in the MV with a cameo at the start and narratively despite the central dynamic being predominantly explored in this story in particular was that of Fuuma and another potential love interest and involves said potential love interest for some reason makes me think that (sorry Yui) this is all planned out for Kazufuuma in the grand scheme of things. That being said, I don’t know if me thinking it was planned all along is just me with shipper goggles, but the idea it’s come full circle nearly 3 years later is not shipper goggles and a very very well done parallel in my opinion, whether this trajectory was their plan for Kazufuuma from the beginning or not. Just wanted to gush about that some more.

There’s more I could go into especially if I went into specific details about interactions or specific implications established in Honeyworks' Dolce content about different characters that would be fascinating to explore in relation to and under the lens of Kazufuuma, but I think this is uh...plenty long enough. Plus, I doubt you'll stop seeing Kazufuuma posts from me so those ideas will probably just be miniposts or somethin.

Back to the overarching point of this segment, idk what they’ll do with this story in the end, but do I think Kazufuuma will canon? I’m used to looking at ships that aren’t explicitly apparent with a sliver of skepticism, but all things considered (as I stated before) yeah. I don’t see reason why they wouldn’t now that they’ve explicitly identified there is a romantic dimension to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like to me, the setup isn’t something that would be written off as unrequited? And this doesn’t have to play into why I don’t think it will canon, my personal opinion on the Fuuyui relationship (again albeit through the lens of a hard Kazufuuma shipper lmao) has it’s own merits and is really cute, I find it cute in the way I found Koyuhina cute. I personally never really shipped Koyuhina, and especially since they slipped Kotarou into Ima Suki Ni Naru I was more curious about who this kid was and how he played into things I didn’t really see Koyuhina as something that would come to fruition. Similarly, there’s more importance in the overall sense on Kazuki than there is Yui (considering he’s one of the 5 original and focal members of this generation of idols, this would be natural), as well as the fact there’s just way more foundation and exploration in Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship than there is Fuuma and Yui. As for how much of a balance there is inside the LN itself, the fact that they seem to have spent a substantial amount relaying the foundation of Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship and re-exploring it (at least in Kazuki’s perspective) at all on top of how much content there is covering their relationship prior to the LN ever since Dolce’s origin just feels like that relationship holds more weight. Pretty much Kazufuuma feels more established as a priority in general. The way I personally hope Fuuyui plays out is whether they wind up holding mutual feelings or not or whether Fuuma doesn’t feel that way towards Yui is they get a relationship akin to Kotarou and Arisa. Albeit, Kotarou and Arisa never viewed each other in a romantic light, but they had mutual respect and solidarity. That’s the type of friendship I hope comes out of Fuyui. And considering there hasn’t been a break-up in any Honeyworks’ canon relationships (nor do I expect there to be… they’re all perfect for each other LMAO) it would actually be interesting if Fuuyui get together but don’t endgame and Kazufuuma is established as the inseparable endgame after some realization or another, though I don’t expect them to go that route nor do I know if that’d be the best way to go about it anyway. Also final point, Honeyworks seems to have a thing for childhood friends trope anyway soooooo owo All in all, don’t know where they’re taking it, just excited to see where it goes.

TL;DR of this *counts* 7 page essay, stan Kazufuuma. Not gonna proof this. Maybe I’ll edit and repost but yall are getting a confusing clusterfuck of ramblings over 2-3 hr periods of me writing across 3 different days at around 5am each day. Uh. If you got this far like and subscribe and-- jk plz reply to this mammoth anywhere you see fit or tell me if you have stuffs to add or counter or whatnot I like hearing people talk about Kazufuuma ;w; I am Kazuki and Kazufuuma brainrot can you tell after reading this? No? Lemme just remind you I’m K--

#honeyworks #dolce #kazufuuma #kazuki haiga #fuuma shirayuki #long post #analysis #character analysis #kinda?#nobody cares trash #also keep in mind this is PURELY for self satisfaction LMFAO read it if u wanna dont if u dont idgaf either way #anyway kazufuuma canon fight me #or have intellectual conversation with me #if you want it on a google doc bc it's easier to read hmu #if you can't tell i think about kazufuuma too much #how much of this is repetitive? probably a lot...

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preathtimeline · 4 years

Text

Mobile Preath Timeline

It’s here, and it’s a lot.

The following is originally from skatertobin's blog:

Ok so here’s what we think went down:

2015

August to I wanna say November? They get close during the victory tour, Chris being the only other person aside from Alex to be invited to Tobin’s 100th cap dinner and all and them sharing a seat at the White House. Basic stuff.

December Christen tags along with Tobin on her Hawaii strolls (especially since both Cheney and ARod aren’t around for the Hawaii game). Wander around Waikiki Beach and hang out with Friends with Flowers in their hair and other fun things like that. Maybe Christen watches Tobin surf at some point and maybe Tobin teaches her how as well. 👀 Idk. But I’m positive swimming happens in cute bikinis because I mean.... it’s Hawaii!! 🙄 They they fly to NOLA for the last VT game. And Press is probs like “hey so where ya staying at after this (the China game)?” like while they’re walking along Bourbon Street where the Leather Jacket™ makes its first appearance. Then tobs is probs like “maybe Portland?” Then Chris is all “well that’s just a state away from where I’m headed wanna crash for a bit?” Then tobs, being the homeless little shit that she is, is maybe like “sweet can we go to the beach” then Christen is all “literally everyday” and then done deal. That’s that. So from there they take the same flight to LA from the NOLA airport. Why? Who knows but tbh Tobs maybe (definitely) stays in PV with Pressy and maybe (definitely) is the reason why Christen’s late to that boat parade at Newport with ARod and Whit cos you know... busy being a good host and such. But then it’s the holidays so we know Tobs would go home to her fam in the east coast for Christmas like the good daughter she’s supposed to be so she does, but she goes right back to LA to maaaaaybe celebrate Chris’ birthday. Boop. And you know since she’s already there they’re probably like, “why not spend New Year’s Eve together and train together at the TOCA center while we’re at it???” Like it’s the most obvious thing because I mean maybe they realize they’d be playing more together with Christen nally being close to a starting spot. Hawink!!!! Work on their chemistry as the kids call it because ya know... First Touch Is Everything™.

2016

January So maybe Tobs flies back to spend New Years with fam again because Chris can’t have her forever. But also maybe not because that would have been very convinient since they get called in to camp in Cali shortly after. But I mean you know, who knows. But wtvr. So there they spend a lot of time together like going to the beach together and getting coffee together and entering and exiting the locker rooms and US soccer vans together. You know. Fun stuff. Then the SD game happens and then they all fly to their respective homes but Tobin doesn’t have a home remember so she invites Press to go to Portland with her and they hold hands at the airport while Press is wearing the Purple Hat™ and maybe they go to the Nike HQ together and go furniture shopping and then they have dinner at a fancy restaurant and Tobs shows Chris around her soon to be new home like a local. Then they fly back to LA because beastmode soccer is a thing and they wanna train and be beasts. And then in between they share sunsets together and play with Morena and Khaleesi and Tobin is snookums.

February It’s Olympic Qualifiers in Texas and well what do you know??? The little shits score a goal together, and then steal the van keys so they can go out on Valentine’s Day. There’s a monkey stuffed toy involved and I hate my life basically because @ god, why. 🔥 They go back to LA together after celebrating their Olympic qualifying win to watch the Arsenal vs Barça game in Santa Monica and have sushi together and also crash the u16 camp. Then they go back to PV and Fly Away™ because All We Need Is Love™. Also because christen has a fUCKING BODY ISSUE PHOTOSHOOT that they’re tOTALLY NOT SUBTLE ABOUT. Ok maybe they’re totally subtle. Kind of.

March They go into the SheBelieves Cup in Florida and go Raw Juicin’ and jewelry shopping because that’s what gal pals do obviously. Chris probs tags along when Tobin hangs out with her French friends and they fly back together to NJ to meet Christen’s fam (who would have thought?!) and to NYC to Find Neverland. And then I mean imagine the goodbye for when they go their separate ways for the NWSL preseason and if you’re wondering how they’d cope, the answer is: Not well.

April They meet again for the Orlando camp and they all gotta be lowkey and concentrate on the training but then the OCSC vs PTFC game happens and they’re not so slick and get accidentally recorded and Tobin’s like 🙅🙅🙅... So they train in Orlando and Colorado and win in Connecticut and Philly vs Colombia and then they play chess in between and have coffee. Turns out they’re new bus buddies too now Allie’s in camp. And maybe (definitely), Jill Ellis is a fangirl and ships the little shits together because suddenly Press is a right middy and Tobs is a right back. If not for the sole purpose of Foudy saying on live television that Tobin would be watching Christen’s ass the entire game, basically. Anyway. CAPTAIN Tobs gets some winking action caught on camera and we’re all just gone. Adios. Goodbye.

May NWSL starts back up and we’re all excited but also sad because preath but they’re fine and we’re being dramatic but not as dramatic as them because apparently they desperately miss one another??????.... So like, when Chicago plays in Seattle the same weekend Portland plays at home, what else would Tobs do right? Would she drive four hours to watch the game? The answer is yes. But why right???? WHYYYYY???? Because obviously, Press in the west coast means some much needed quality time in Portland i.e. a double date at a fancy vineyard with a view and some tacos.

June The games vs. Japan happen in Denver and happen in Cleveland and that’s apparently not enough for them because Tobin tags along with Press and the Chicago girls to watch the MehNT and the Jumbotron loves them just as much as they do each other. The two part series of a battle of the baes in the CHIvsPOR NWSL games starts in Chicago and ends in Portland so naturally (duh) Press stays in Portland so the little shits could have private training sessions together before flying to Chicago again. Fuckers. (Honestly it’s not practical but thEY INSIST)

July The game vs South Africa happens after which they conveniently skedaddle ahead of everyone else in a separate car because of dinner reservations at yet another fancy restaurant. They both make it to the Olympic 18 and they “celebrate” it by going on a not-so romantic getaway to the ESPYS in LA and then they have dinner with Alex and Allie because like, Press probably (I’m sensing a theme, are you?) gotta have an initiation of sorts because things bout to get serious. 💁 But well Tobin gets an initiation of her own too so they’re even. 😅 But well, Tobin gets They head into camp in KC then win their Olympic send off game against CRC 👀 and fly again to camp in DC with the NJ crew and chill before flying aGAIN for the Olympic Games !!!

August They get to Brazil and have a killer Olympics .............Can you believe the Olympics got cancelled this year?????? Amazing. Anyway. That’s irrelevant. What’s not irrelevant though!!!!!! is them coming back to the states!!!! But instead of going straight home, the little shits get a connecting flight from Chicago (to probably get stuff??) to Portland together to get away from it all. Some good music, good coffee, a little kite flying and some R & R with good company and suddenly all is right in the world again. 👍 NWSL regular season to look forward to.

September So like, the NWSL starts up again right and they go their separate ways and you’d think they’d calm down a bit but BITCH YOU THOUGHT because they secretly meet up again because Press is Tobin’s plus one at her sister’s wedding in Rhode Island and she’s even invited to the rehearsal dinner which is “for immediate family and the bridal party only”. Cyb Press is considered immediate family?????? I can’t TBH. Anyway. That’s only for the weekend though because they gotta get back to their teams to play and try and get berths to the playoffs.... which they boTH DO!! Nice. NT training camp follows and it’s in Columbus so oBVIOUSLY Ms. Portland’s gotta fly in a day early to the east coast to meet up with Captain Chicago & Co. and we find out that Tobin’s tired af and that JJ is a shipper. 😌 Then Columbus happens where we finally get the goal celebration we truly deserve and where the whole stadium empathizes with two college dudes who are like “damn bro, number 12 ain’t straight”. And we can’t forget the regular coffee date . I swear to god it’s an addiction at this point. The game in Georgia isn’t as eventful as the last time we played the Netherlands but I guess it isn’t short of hearteyes. 😍

October So anyway. Can you believe the NWSL gets canceled after the Thorns win the shield???????? This “playoff match” doesn’t actually happen. It’s true. Press just visits Portland to go mermaiding with Tobin. (Euphemism? We may never know) So after then they fly to LA for a Sia concert because they can. But anyway, remember when we thought we got the goal celebration we deserved during that Thailand game? WRONG. Apparently the Swiss have other ideas because we’re all blessed and I’ve never felt more alive than I’ve ever felt in my life in this moment. And we almost get a repeat performance but I mean I guess it’s true lighting doesn’t strike the same place twice. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ̄ or something like that. La Blanquita goes Batista a few days later and Tobin has been established as a pretty useless maid of honor but I mean, she looks cute and her outfit repeater of a plus one (who is yet again invited to the rehearsal dinner!!!!!) looks cute too.

November At this rate is it even still surprising they’re practically living together? Portland Preath gets a part /something/ (because honestly who the fuck is still keeping track? Hint: not me) So Press Painting rainbows in an oversized, expensive ass Pride shirt in Tobin’s Portland kitchen is a thing thanks to Tobin’s (not Kling’s. Gotta make that clear.) very distinguishable floorboards and countertops. And apparently Press is practically a Thorn at this point, too, what with all that ball-kicking and strength training in Providence Park? Yeah. Ikr. Gross. They come to NorCal (to have coffee with a baby for practice) for the first Romania game and CYB they have chemistry on the field????? Like who woulda thunk?!?!?!?!? Also Press gets a hatty because she’s???? good???? at????? soccer????? (Also Christen brings herself sandwiches during games. Tobin doesn’t but CP ain’t selfish. If yanamsayin. Also, they’re literally married. Just thought you’d like to know.) K so anyway, boop boop, ROU part 2 aka the SoCal game becomes the perfect finish to the USWNT calendar year eSPECIALLY for the little shits because not only do we all get Blessed™ with another Preath goal, but basically Preath saves 2016 via great passes, bedroom eyes and hand holding. (PRESS SCORING AND ASSISTING IN EVERY GAME SINCE SWITZERLAND BTW????? Like, thank you, Tobin.) So no more games for the rest of the year, but that will not stop them from doing couple things because!!! They!!!! Are!!!!! Little!!!! Shits!!!!! The zenpups think so too. But anyway! It’s the return of Sunsets and Snookums in LA can you believe!!!!! There’s a romantic museum trip somewhere in the mix and some soccer on the beach too! Chris realizes then that her true passion is to be part of the circus and it’s all because of Circuit Bouldering in Portland (read: their home). Or I guess a second home because looks like Chris finally gets settled into her new house by the beach for a hot minute to enjoy rainbows before jetting off again. ✈

December Right so Grassroot Soccer holds a gala and Christen is the guest of honor also it’s Tobin’s turn to be a plus one (and to a red carpet event at that!) in frEAKING LONDON and they’re both beautiful and I’m dead. I’m also thinking Chris is the one that scored them tickets to the Arsenal game the night before the gala because she is whipped and In LoveTM. Gross. They don’t stop there though because they think they’re sneaky Pete about watching El Clasico with the fam (aka Allie & Bati) BUT NO!!!! You caught muthafuckas! There’s dancing in alleyways and reconnecting with old Spanish friends, too. Gross x 2 Euro trip continues in Sweden and Tobin and Christen literally sit on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G and it’s all so scenic and romantic. Gross x 3 Well, I didn’t think they’d ever come back from their European bae-cation, but they do and it’s straight to Portland for some Christmas decorating and Tobin wins POTY to make up for this shitty year so they celebrate by getting some coffee and tacos and training - their faves. Duh. It’s kind of a quiet Christmas, celebrating with their own friends and family but I mean, it’s Pressy’s birthday. So they reunite and go hiking in LA and Christen gets a new name. Hi Kristen! 🖐

2017

January After ringing in the New Year with skiing and kisses (probably), Chris spends time in Portland, having shakes and breakfast with the bae. They go back to LA coming out of their own little bubble because it’s January training camp season and I’m having major flashbacks with them riding together to training and being locker room buddies! Their off day is as glorious as we’d expect, with some beach time and fun. (Thanks to JJ for being a shipper.) And we’re also blessed with Allie Long and a Harry Video. After camp, they’ve got a ton of down time so it’s the perfect opportunity to go chilling by their beach house. I say “their” because there’s a stray surfboard lying around and I’m sure as hell it ain’t Christen’s. 💁

February The next camp for SheBelieves isn’t til later on in the month so they fly back to home number 2 aka Portland to chill and be low key, watching Tove Lo on their date night. Tobin has a little photoshoot where she's in all her sweaty glory and itty bitty shorts and Christen flies off on her own for a bit for an appearance then it’s back to Portland for a low key vday. And then camp starts up and it feels like a drought but really, we’ll take what we can get. And what we get are matching backpacks and Harry.

March The SheBelieves Cup starts really well with an Allie IG takeover (which is always gold js) and we’re blessed with cameos of the lovers slash bus buddies!! And we see that age old Preath Connection that we know and love. We even get a possible date night in between!!!! The second game is a doozy but the most important takeaway is that they’re literally married. From the bus to the locker rooms, from the bench all the way to the sidelines. Married. Wives. For life. Fact. Even the Press Pack is supportive. Last game of the tourney and it was a loss. Lol. Anyway. They were trying to be sneaky and we learn that the fams are at the games together to support them. That’s it. Next. There’s a lot of debate about whether or not Tobin calls Christen “babe” because we’re all thirsty but there’s also the thing about helping Chris move to her new Chicago apartment so insert Oprah what’s the truth gif here. And then before the month ends, there’s a perfectly planned preseason tournament in Portland. Right before which Press kidnaps Tobin and escapes to LA for some hula dancing and pineapples, and then brings her back because plus ones at weddings are overrated (not). But the tourney goes on and Tobin’s not playing but she’s enjoying her box in the stands. Meanwhile, Christen just wants to say hi.

April Not much really happens because they’ve suddenly gone 100% stealth mode, with Tobin injured and not able to travel and all, but thanks to a little tweet we see that on NWSL opening day there was still some sort of support aka Tobin watching the Chicago game while on the stands for the Portland home opener. It’s better than nothing right? Oh and when Chicago visits PDX for the 3rd game, Chris gets taken down and Tobin looks away because she probably can’t watch it without going apeshit idk. Same. Anyway, Chris sends smiles towards the box and I guess I’m okay with that.

May “what injury?!” Tobin then says as she boards a flight to Chicago after the Thorns game to bear witness to/be the reason behind the end of the drought (goals & content tbh thank you). Cyb her back died so CRS could rise? Meanwhile to pass the time though Tobs becomes Asst Director for the Thorns youth program and paints for bae. And right after their respective weekend home games, Press ies out to PDX for Tobin’s birthday shebang. Tobin picks her up from the airport and takes her to her party and everything!

June A couple of friendlies abroad happen but since Tobs is injured she’s off the roster but she does some housewarming for Chris til she gets back from practicing on babysitting Cash. So after that, getting back into the swing of things in the NWSL is easy for Chris but unfortunately Tobin still can’t play so the next best thing is staying together in ChiTown to keep the blues away for like.... 2 weeks.

July ...Tobin’s still injured. But at least she has some fresh shoes (and expensive sliders)! And Press spends some time in LA to keep her company at rehab. Some people thought July was gonna be the first month we don’t get any content and Press personally makes sure it isn’t during the Chi vs Orl game on lifetime.

August We have a weird Tournament of Nations and it’s probably because Tobin’s back hasn’t resurrected yet but in the last game in LA, we get a rare sighting of a stud at training so maybe we’ve still got a shot. I mean i guess 2nd place in our own tournament isn’t so bad? Kinda? But whatever. What’s important is the roller blading that happens the days after. And then it’s time for CHIvsPOR. And after that, Tobin’s back in LA hanging out with Chris’ sister and bro-in-law at a bar because you know, they’re close or whatever.

September Ok so it’s been quiet but it’s not because of anything crazy. They’ve just done better at the privacy thing. Good on them you know ? But anyway. They reunite in Colorado and Cincinnati.

October The final regular season match is conveniently in Portland and unfortunately, they end up not playing each other in the semis so Chicago has to book a flight to NC but Chris still makes sure to enjoy her time. So after the uswnt game that Tobs has to sit out, the only time we have proof that Tobin is still alive is the Century 21 event in Arizona. Meanwhile Chris is back home with her pups in LA. But Tobs flies to get in on the puppy love but we only know through her shadow and when they turn into wine moms for a night.

November Fall this year is coming along quite nicely but not as nice as it is in Portland, probably, because there are Trainbows, says Chris! In Canada Chris serves some gross hearteyes despite the fact that Tobin’s been sidelined due to injury. They have the last game of the year in Cali and it kickstarts the swaggin they do together. And then November ends with a bang with them posting about flying to london for a red carpet event!

December Said red carpet event is the annual Grassroot Soccer Gala. (And this time Tobin doesn’t go ghost!) And they just wander around taking good pictures and visiting friends and watching football! Thanks HAO! Thanks Crystal! And then they’re back to being Domestic!Preath canoodling in their LA loft by the beach, chilling and hangin out with friends and being Christmassy and such.

The following is from Preath-Things

December (cont.) Christmas rolls around, and they end up going back to their respective fams, meeting back up in Portland some days later. They spend New Years eve snowboarding and just chilling in the snow with their friends. 👌

2018

January New Years is spent in Portland going sledding, but they eventually head back down to California so Tobin can get her ankle fixed. January camp happens without Tobin. But it's fine because Christen and Tobin spend every other moment together, watching sunsets in the rain and Tobin's having a super duper good recovery. Christen finds a new club in the NWSL, surprise! After the friendly against Denmark, they're back to spending all their time together, holding water bottles and attending conferences.

February Tobin has a new job ! Modelling for the new Mercurials in London, whilst also showing off her piano skills, which Christen's obviously heard before with there being a keyboard and all hanging around at their places. Tobin continues her modelling career in LA because the shoes are orange so of course she would. Christen on the other-hand pays a quick visit to houston then reports to camp. Tobin's still out and not playing soccer because remember she's still trying out her modelling career.

March The SheBelieves Cup happens. Or maybe it doesn't. Debatable, considering Christen is bascially nowhere to be found on the pitch, and there's little evidence of her even being at camp. Tobin's also too busy moving from her modelling career to her acting career to be there and play. The uswnt wins the cup somehow anyway. Christen goes back to Portland after the cup and it's a bit quiet but Tobin and Christen are spending some quality time together so isn't that really all that matters? Another surprise ! Christen doesn't want to be with her new NWSL club. So she's heading to Sweden to relive some good times instead, but not before flying kites with Tobin. Tobin also paints a few things inlcuing a 9 post equality sign because she's just that extra.

April Christen returns to her happy place. 🇸🇪 She signs with Kopparbergs/Göteborg FC and scores goals, lots of them. To the absolute surprise of everyone (read: no one) she's named April player of the month in the Damallsvenskan! Tobin decides to put both her modelling and acting careers on hold in an attempt to try her luck at the soccer thing again. Also, being the supportive gal pals that they are, and separated by an ocean, they get into the habit of liking each others instagram posts every so often.

May There are pool parties, sea dips and visits to Norway for Christen, during all of which she proves she did in fact pack Tobin's entire closet, accessories and style before she left PDX. Still separated by an ocean, not really too much happens, other than each of them continuing to practice the liking option on each others instagram posts.

June It's Pride Month 🌈 and Pride Month Delivers. Tobin is called up to national team camp for the first time since forever because her ankle seems to be a-okay, and Jill remembers Christen exists all of a sudden and also calls her up. Which means the two lovebirds finally get to reunite in Utah after months of being super long distance. This officially kicks off Pride month celebrations across the globe. Tobin feels 'tight' prior to the game and decides not to join in on the first Pride month celebration of the USWNT aka the first game against China, instead opting to chill and watch the game from the stands. After Tobin sees the Utah Royals owner get down on one knee in front of her girl, she decides it's time to remind the world that Christen is her's by posting a selfie with her and her gal pal. Christen seems to like the photo too and decides to also repost it because it's pride month after all and you gotta spread the love or something. And that's not the only thing she seems to like, deciding to swap clothes with her girl for their date to the Cavs game. Chris wears Tobin's Cavs jersey, like the traitor she is because apparently whilst it might be the wrong team, it's the right number (in other words words.. the things you do for love, and to wear something with the #23). Pride month continues to deliver with the second game against China and what better way to celebrate pride month by marking the game as Christen's 100th cap?!! Oh there are better ways, says the universe or something because Christen assists a goal in the first half, Tobin enters the match in the second half, and we are blessed with a pREATH GOALl!!! or alternatively a small game of keepy uppy between the two lovebirds which ends up with a ball at the back of the net and a Preath celebration we deserve, whichever you prefer to call it. Pride camp ends, but not before Chris makes sure to just leave one last mark on her time in Cleveland. After flying off together to Chi town, they go their separate ways and Chris returns to Sweden. But it seems that Pride month has one last piece of magic to make happen, and Christen's caught up in another big tangle of a messy trade within the NWSL, which lands her in Utah. A trade she accepts. She is now officially royalty. A queen. 👑 Soon after Chris arrives at her new club, Tobin takes a quick pit stop there on her way back from Houston, because obviously she gotta help her girl settle in to her new home away from home.

July So it’s the Fourth of July and the new royalty/royals, Chris and Sam decide it’s a great idea to celebrate it by buying food to grill even when neither of them know how to turn on a girl grill! Stuck on how to turn on the offending cooking appliance, Chris uses a lifeline and chooses to phone a (girl)friend. Grill Master Tobin pulls through and saves the day. Not that Christen wants anyone to know that Tobin did (gotta mute those instastories, you know?), but Sam does (thanks Sam!). At the same time, Laura decides to inform the world that Christen lives in Portland (thanks Laura!). The Battle of the Baes returns to Portland for 2018 and it ends with a hug and a kiss drinks back at home. Then it's back to Utah for Chris. The Tournament of Nations happens again and it’s not as weird as the previous year’s (probably because Tobin decides to join in this time around). To prepare for the games, Christen returns home to Portland so the two lovers can visit the Nike HQ, go berry picking and dream about pies. Gotta have that pre-camp preparation and relaxation at home with your SO, you know?! The first game of the tourney is against Japan, and it ends with a W and has Tobin subbing on for Christen. There’s shoulder rubs and hip taps and some airport shenanigans. Remember how Tobin was subbed on for Chris? Chris is subbed on for Tobin in the next game against Australia! It’s now completely apparent that Jill deems having both of them playing at the same time to be just Too Dangerous for opposing teams due to their ridiculous on and off the pitch chemistry. She’s clearly just sparing the opposition from a super embarrassing defeat. Good tactic. Chris’ fam comes to say hi in Connecticut 🖐️

August The tourney continues and there’s some team pictionary bonding prior to their final ToN game against Brazil. The Brazil game ends with a Tobin goal and assist, a win and a trophy, as the uswnt finally win the tourney!!!! Also, at this stage it's questionable whether the two are trying to be sneaky or not anymore with Chris throwing literal heart eyes at Tobin at the start of the game, and Tobin putting her arm around Chris' shoulder at the end. 🤷 After the ToN it’s back to their clubs and it’s a bit quiet, but I mean as to be expected. What’s not expected however is the shenanigans that happen prior to the NT's first Chile game back in Christen’s hometown. It’s CP's 100th cap celebration, and Tobin pOSTS her girl a congratulatory post ??? Picture, profile tag, emojis and all?? If you thought the girl would stop there with her public celebration of her bae's 100th cap celebration, you'd be d e a d w r o n g. Tobito also proudly wears Christen’s name on her back ??? somewhat earlier than anyone's anticipated ??? Chris has her ceremony, and Tobin literally has the proudest smile, which you could probably see from space— and it’s debatable whether a tear escapes her eyes during the ceremony, but who could blame her if one did?? So it’s game time and we finally get the long-awaited Captain Press, and it’s everything we could’ve dreamed of!!!! Truly spectacular. Tobin gifts Christen with a PK, which she perfectly finishes because she’s Chris. But there’s a big commotion and suddenly the goal doesn’t count???? Because the ref is apparently trying to ruin Chris’s day ??? and doesn’t know the rules of soccer like at all??? Tobin won’t hear of it obvs— leading the rest of the team as they storm up towards the ref with wagging fingers and pitchforks at halftime, whilst at the same time the Press Pack is up in arms. But it’s (semi) fine in the end because Chris gets another goal anyway (it's beautiful)— capping off the perfect night and a perfect victory in the most perfect place. ❤️❤️ Talking about perfect, both Chris and Tobs are also the most perfect human beings, donating their jerseys from the game to TWLOHA.

September The second game against Chile only features Tobin, but before and after the game she’s wearing a t-shirt that looks strangely like a Supreme-branded shirt with the letters P R E S S spelled out ?? Anyways it's another victory for the team, and everyone eventually heads back to their clubs for the final week of regular season. Then it's postseason time, and Chris returns to Portland to train alone 👎, whilst Tobs is off training with her club. The Thorns play their semifinal game and get the W, obvs cheered on by Chris in the stands. Weirdly enough though, the NWSL championship game for 2k18 just..... never happens ????? Super strange. (Although if it did, Chris was once again there, cheering her girl on) Anyways the season's over, and another season begins— the offseason (aka the best season) where the love birds stroll the streets of Portland (probably holding hands or something cute) and get ready for camp. Although it looks like they might've received the wrong memo about what kind of camp they had coming up— as they end up in the wilderness of Oregon.. camping? And debatably skinny dipping? Who knows?! Is there actually a bikini strap around Tobs's neck? Who knows?! What we do know is that they only packed one suitcase, Christen's gone granola, and the two eventually head on out of there once they realize they're most definitely at the wrong camp— heading off to NC for the camp they were actually meant to be at.

October It's World Cup Qualifiers time, and Chris and Tobs score some goals, Chris has suddenly grown a dragonfly on her arm, and sometime between their last uswnt game and the qualifiers, the two nerds have created their own little handshake— because Chris wanted in on the whole handshake club (who could blame her tbh). So the uswnt qualify for the world cup (!!!!!), and the love birds go and celebrate by showing off their Spanish 101 knowledge in Mexico, and literally murdering everyone by posting photos from their beach and infinity pool photoshoots ??? Like cool, it's not like we were trying to live or anything, right ?? Nah. Oh yeah they're also not being subtle about the fact they're in literally the same place either. But you know what, subtle schmutle thinks Chris, as she posts a boomerang of Tobs and her at tees + jeans like it's like no big deal you know like, whatever. They head to pdx to stand in the fall leaves and take more photos of each other.

November

So there’s a couple USWNT friendlies abroad which Tobs and Chris don’t join in on due to personal and family commitments (respectively), but it's okay (kinda) because they instead

visit an art museum

together— fitting right in as the works of art that they are. Oh yeah Tobin seems to be the

newest Royals signing

? and she's also number 21. Tobs and Chris have a

New York minute week

— jumping into ball pits and casually posting an instastory of themselves together, because obvs it's nbd. They also spend some quality time around thanksgiving with Tobin's fam.

December

The two head back west and drop by stubhub to give some inspirational pep talk to some young athletes at Nike’s,

Play Like a Pro thing

and also so Pressy can

grand marshal

the PV Christmas lights parade ! They also do some

toca training

lab visiting

sunset watching, more training/testing and family photo taking

. So they basically spend a whole lotta time together— training and being cute and shit ❤️️❤️. They might've headed to Florida also during this time but no one's 100% sure, and it's all a bit of guesswork and squinting. Whatever the case, they were together during most of month because offseason means, barely leaving the bae's side season, until Christmas that is— where they go their separate ways for a couple days. But then it’s Pressy’s birthday aka Christmas 2.0, so Tobs jets back to the west coast to join in on the celebrations, because obviously the best/most important present is Tobin's presence, duh. So they're finally back together in the west coast for the remaining days of 2018, and they finish the year by watching sunsets off rooftops, and preparing to see in the new year together. 💕

The following is when Preathbar took over.

2019

January It’s 2019! Tobin and Christen ring in the new year much like they ended the last one. They play some beach volleyball, To(es)bin watches some premier league, they continue training, Chris gets lost in LA, makes sure we know she’s feeding Tobin, and finally, they watch the last sunset in LA for two weeks😂 lol. Before the fun of camp can start, they get delayed at the airport AND TOBIN ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES CHRISTEN’S EXISTENCE. It’s fine. We’re all okay from that. (Also Tobin has some Tibetan prayer beads on?) Christen tells us you can’t mess with her zen and they eventually make it to January Camp in Portugal. Because they can’t live without a sunset, they find some (arguably better) ones on a beach in Portugal. Jan Camp finishes up and as luck would have it the whole team gets delayed this time and Tobin passes the time by playing Mario Kart. The orange and pink Kånken bags make a reappearance and of course, Tobes and Chris are airplane buddies. They arrive in Le Havre, France and everyone is still blissfully ignorant about the future events. Apparently, Tobin took a knock during camp and is held out of the first game on precaution so it is CP vs France. Literally and figuratively. The game against France goes very well, and we’re all so glad THAT game was the one on the weekend. After that *ahem* rough, game it’s time to move on and the team makes their way to Alicante, Spain where Tobes and Chris enjoy a day out and about. Tobin seems to have recovered and gets a start against Spain, CP doesn’t, but after a 0-0 first half, Jill decides to sub her in and SHE SCORES A FREAKING (GAMEWINNING) GOAL. The wives only get to play together for 20ish minutes, but we are treated to plenty of Preath content during and after the game. First, there’s the goal celebration that includes a Tobes head pat and a wink from the one and only Christen Press 😉. At halftime, there’s some hand holding glove holding, but after the game we witnessed a to a PreathTackle™ via Tobin Heath. She’s just so proud of her girl she can hardly contain her emotions (and we can’t either 😭). They return to LA after the madness in Europe just in time to catch a sunrise.

February So very early on into the month, Tobin literally comes out of the blue with her “The Ones” interview while promoting the new Air Jordans, and let me tell you, the photos were anything but chill. The go on a little daytime date 💙 and Christen shows off her many rings. After that, Christen decides to prove that Tobin’s not the only model in the family and hits us with the behind-the-scenes of her photoshoot with localemagazine. Stay tuned until May for our Covergirl. Shortly, our family of models decides to return to their day jobs and attend camp in Tampa, FL for the She Believes Cup. They can’t help but be attached at the hip while they’re there (and we’re not complaining). The team makes their way to Philly and Tobin, Chris, and Ash go on a little stroll where Preath proves, yet again, that they exist in the same universe. USWNT vs Japan is first up and again, Christen comes off the bench and makes an immediate impact with an assist, giving the US the lead. She also gets smacked in the face but its okay because Tobes makes sure to check up on her. We also definitely win the game and don’t waste all that work CP did by letting them tie it up.

March After the performance against Japan, the team sets their sights to England at camp. To celebrate the “SheBelieves spirit” they all wear the name of an inspirational woman of their choosing on their backs. Christen chooses the unproblematic fave of Sojourner Truth and Tobin chooses Doris Burke, who was very moved by the gesture. Before the game, Christen gives Tobin her stick of gum bc CP still isn’t starting. Unfortunately, the team seems to play as if they are the names on their back and tie. AGAIN. Maybe it was just the cold because Tobes and Chris almost miss the plane back to sunny Florida, but after quickly boarding the gayng gets to sit together. With one more game left, it looks almost impossible for the US to win the tournament, and we don’t, but we manage to win our last game 1-0 with a goal by the one and only Tobin Heath. Unfortunately, it’s now Chris’ turn to make sure Tobin is okay after a hard foul. Before we take a break from the USWNT for a little while, the World Cup kits are announced with a plethora of promotion. Tobin and Christen both return to their club teams and Tobin does some more promotion for the Thorn’s new kits and sixstar. Christen returns to LA to play some preseason games with Utah and while she’s there she is reunited with Morena and Khalessi. CP is announced as the honorary falconer for the LAFC game and reminds us that if the animal isn’t a dog, she’s slightly intimidated. Tobin also plays a preseason game for Portland and apparently tears it up, but her time with the Thorns is cut short when they both re-port for camp and are re-united for the April Friendlies.

April Camp slowly starts to wind down as the upcoming friendlies draw closer, but not before some exciting news. LUNA Bar announces that they will cover the World Cup roster bonus pay gap for the entire US Women’s National Team! It is revealed that Christen was one of the “chief architects of the team’s current collective bargaining agreement” and she reminds us how smart and beautiful she is in several different interviews. Then, we are provided with an incredible picture that only confirms that Tobin and Christen are bus buddies (in case we somehow forgot). Press is not only smart and beautiful, but she’s also talented at this game of soccer and helps the team win over Australia in an overly dramatic sort-of way. Tobin notches a goal over Australia, but she doesn’t get any minutes against Belgium. CP, however, plays a full 90 minutes and provides 3 assists off of set pieces!!! Nobody seems to notice though. After two successful friendlies with the National Team, they return to play their first (and last for awhile) games for their NWSL teams. Tobin earns POTY with the Portland Thorns and later, an absolutely wild game is played against Chicago. Meanwhile, Press proves what a class act she is in Utah and notches an assist in her first game and then a goal in the second. Just as they start to settle in, we all sadly realize they have to leave their club teams, even though we STILL don’t have a WC roster, but we do get a bunch of amazing gifs. After her game in Orlando, Christen stays a while in Miami where she shows us her coconuts and does lots of promo before we finally get the announcement we were all patiently waiting for. HuLU hAS LivE spOrTS!

May On the first of the month, Tobes and Chris are spotted at the Hulu Upfronts with several other players, looking as gorgeous as ever. Eventually, after virtually the entire roster being known beforehand, USsoccer drops the 2019 Women’s World Cup Roster and Tobin Heath is going to her third World Cup while Christen Press is going to her second, but they’re doing it together this time. With the announcement of the roster, everyone heads to camp before the last of the send-off series games. (Oh and also there’s an incident with Tobin in a button up and her shoulder but whatever. It’s fine.) Remember that “re-” thing Tobin, Christen, Pinoe, and Kling kept teasing/we thought it was an inside joke? Well, it turns Rɘ-inc is an entire company the ladies are starting and they strive to rɘ-imagine rɘ-invent rɘ-configure, and rɘ-volt (to name a few). They are set to launch June 2017 2019 and we can only hope to be blessed with more photos of Tobin wearing... boxers? The first friendly is played against South Africa, and Tobin and Chris actually get to start together, but still, a preath-goal alluded them the entire game. Do you remember back in February when we saw the behind-the-scenes of CP’s shoot with localemagzine? Well now it’s May and Christen is officially a cover girl and I swear they’re all trying to kill us before the World Cup because no one should be allowed to look that hot, but it's Christen so why are we surprised? The penultimate send-off game against New Zealand goes off with little fan-fare (but the girls do notch goals and/or assists). The team seems to have the weekend off before playing their last game and of course, Tobin and Christen return to Portland and decide to watch the Blazers play the Warriors in the Conference finals. How do we know they were at the game? I mean, other than the fact the CP posted a story on Instagram about Nike making Tobes’ dreams come true you could LITERALLY SEE THEM ON LIVE TV BC THEY HAD SECOND ROW FLOOR SEATS BEHIND THE BENCH. Let’s just say we all suddenly cared a lot about basketball that night. A few days later the USWNT heads to New York, is surprised in time square (where T&C are bus buddies, duh), attends GMA, and has Media Day at Twitter’s headquarters. It was a content overload. We never get a break either because few days after that they play their last send-off series game against Mexico and guess what; Tobin and Christen BOTH SCORE (goals)!!! Most would think that having an afternoon game means that the rest of the day is for relaxing and recovery… well, you’d be wrong. Apparently, it’s time for the launch party of Rɘ-Inc and Christen is wearing a Suit. I repeat a Suit at the party and Tobin is wearing a black dress. They both looked absolutely incredible. Rɘ-inc provides us with a lot of amazing content throughout the month. It’s a quick turn around again and the NT now makes their way to London for their final training before the World Cup starts. It’s also Tobin’s 31st birthday and we all hoped and prayed that Christen would post something for it and luckily, she didn’t disappoint.

June It’s officially World Cup Time, but not before a little camp and because the US plays last there’s still time for them to release their 23 stories even after the tournament has officially started. And since we’ve got the time, ESPN announces that Tobin Heath will be profiled on their next E60 special. Tobin finally opens up about… playing soccer… and also her family. In the end, the whole interview makes us love Aunty To-To even more (if that’s even possible) and the unredacted interviews in a podcast are definitely worth the listen. As the last game of the first round of group stage games commences, the USA finally gets their chance to shine, and in a historic 13-0 win against Thailand, boy do they make a controversial statement. Christen notches an assist after she’s subbed in for Tobin because they would be too powerful together on the field. After a few days of rest (and being caught on a live stream with their arms around each other), they play their next game against Chile and while they don’t win 13-0 (which is mostly because Christen gets denied so many times) 3-0 qualifies them for the round of 16. Next up is Sweden and they win 2-0 where Tobin even scores a goal! (Fifa says it’s an own goal but there are lots of things we don’t like about Fifa). Getting first in the group means Spain is our Round of 16 opponent and after a bit of suffering, and Christen’s 2 whole minutes of play time, we win 2-1. Then, it was time for the most anticipated match of the World Cup. A quarterfinal between the USA and France in Paris. Spoiler Alert: WE WON MOTHERFUCKERS and we even got an adorable hug afterward. Tobin scored ANOTHER GOAL but Fifa is plotting against her and it was called offsides. Now a semifinal versus England awaits.

July So… I don’t even know where to begin with this absolutely crazy month. All I can say is... you’re not ready. Guess what! Christen got the start against England and silenced all her skeptics in the 10th minute when she scored a beautiful header! After falling to the ground in pure emotion, Tobin basically nuzzled her head into Chris’s neck in celebration and it was an absolutely beautiful moment for many reasons. The US went on to win and the final would be the USWNT vs the Netherlands. After waiting a little longer to score than usual, THE UNITED STATES WOMEN’S NATIONAL SOCCER TEAM WAS BACK TO BACK, 4-TIME, WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS!!!! TOBIN HEATH AND CHRISTEN PRESS ARE TWO TIME WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS! Tobin ran straight to Christen after the final whistle because they did it together this time. That’s not all though, during the trophy presentation, in the midst of everyone else’s celebration, Tobin looked and Christen and Christen looked at Tobin and they hugged and basically recreated the iconic photo from 4 years ago and I’M STILL NOT OVER IT AND I WILL NEVER BE AND YOU SHOULDN’T BE EITHER. THEN, after ALL of that, T&C decided to go lay in the confetti together and Christen adorably let Tobin throw confetti all over her and I STILL CAN’T. Not to even MENTION the baby Tobin collected and showed to Chris because they’re so domestic™ before Chris decided to adjust Tobin’s medal because they’re also soft™. The real celebration began afterward in the locker room and a lot of alcohol was consumed, but all Chris was worried about was keeping her hair dry with a little blue towel. The next day, after a transatlantic flight and us wondering how they’re going to survive, the team arrived in New York City and the party's just getting started because the day after that the entire team is a guest on Good Morning America. We’re not done yet because the NEXT morning a ticker tape parade through the Canyon of Heroes awaits them (don’t worry, they were on the same float) before a cross-continental flight to LA just in time for the ESPYS (Tobin is apparently dragged, but it was fun). Tobin looks way too damn good in christen’s her v-neck suit, even though her shoe/sunglasses choice was questionable. Christen blessed us with a yellow v-neck suit and both girls were truly “stuntin” on us. THEN THE DAY WE F U C K I N G DIED!!! I’m not even joking. It started out innocent enough (which it really wasn’t but whatever). Christen posted of photo of JUST them together on the float and captioned it “blissful and grateful”. It was already more than we asked for but THEN she started posting pictures of JUST them at the ESPYS on her story and by this point we were already not OKAY. THEN Tobin decided she wasn’t PLAYING AROUND and posted pictures of JUST them on the red carpet and THEN THAT FUCKING VIDEO. T H E STORY TO END ALL INSTA STORIES. What was the video, you ask? Well, what are the New Chicago Bulls Fire J1s… from Travis Scott? Did you see them? How did she get those they’re not even released yet? Watch at your own risk. Finally, both girls decide to decompress and took mini vacay to Los Cabos because why not, you’re world cup champions, and after re-freshing they both fly home to Portland. Of course, their first game back in the NWSL is against each other because only the most chaotic energy is allowed this month. Christen scores the eventual GOTW but the game ends in a tie. Not to worry though because the next week Tobin notches two beautiful assists in the homecoming game against Houston and Christen produces another beautiful GOTW in a game that Tobin attends wearing while wearing a #23 snapback. They really refuse to be separated for more than a few days. Then, as it turns out, they both head back to Portland proving that Tobin’s excursion to Utah really was extra™ and we can only hope we’ll never come down from this content high.

August Just when we thought we were spoiled by world cup content, the girls decided they’re not done yet and we’re blessed with a TC goal during the first of the Victory Tour games versus Republic of Ireland (foreshadowing: it’s not the first of the month). Christen serves a lovely ball right to Tobin’s head and they were sure to hug adorably in celebration. Before heading back to their clubs, Re-inc hosts an event called ResetTheTable, which is basically a dinner party filled with beautiful people (in body and mind). After returning to Utah Christen scores a brace in a midweek game and helps win another so NWSL rightfully makes her Player of the Week. Then, CP heads to NYC to appear on morning talk shows to educate us about the USWNT lawsuit while looking absolutely stunning. In their last club games before international break, Christen gets another goal, and wins GOTW for the third time, and Tobin’s assists continue to grow (it probably helps that Chris goes to watch her). Their travel has been extra™ this month but it’s what you do for love. Finally, they both head to Philly for camp before playing against Portugal and we get ANOTHER TC GOAL. Christen is getting really good at assisting Tobes.

September The second round of victory tour games conclude at the beginning of the month, but Tobes and Chris are pretty adorable at open training before their second win over Portugal. Oh, Christen gets another assist so her total for 2019 is up to… 11! (that’s the leader of the national team). Then, it’s time for Battle of the Baes 2.0 and this time Christen comes out on top. Tobin ends up winning GOTW on week 23… hmm… and the Thorns clinch a playoff spot. Unfortunately, even with Christen’s header, Utah misses out again.

October After celebrating their 2019 Women’s World Cup win one more time, the victory tour games conclude in with a pair of games against South Korea. The first one is pretty uneventful, and so is the second (except for the sendoff). Tobin and Chris return to their clubs to play their last nwsl games of the season and the Thorns move on to the postseason. They face Chicago first and find themselves out of the championship game. However, Chris doesn’t seem to mind and makes her way to Portland pretty soon after. Something with re-inc seems to be brewing, but the end of the month marks the beginning of the offseason (after they play two friendlies in November, of course).

November The girls report to camp for the final time this year and everyone seems to be ready for the end of quite an incredible year but also new beginnings with a new coach. Christen and Tobin get a start against Sweden and Christen records another assist and her 50TH INTERNATIONAL GOAL!!! (Tobin may or may not fall to her knees again but that’s not important). Then, we get a TC hug and Tobin gets an assist of her own. Even after playing a game in freezing temperatures they still manage to both look adorably bundled after. The next game is even more fun than the first because Christen scores ANOTHER GOAL and we get ANOTHER TC HUG and to cap it all off we get CAPTAIN TOBIN. That’s right, CAPTAIN TOBIN (we almost got captain Christen but it’s okay). We were just barely coming down from that emotional high when the next night Pinoe brings the entire Gayng to the Glamour Awards. Tobin and Christen had a black and white moment and all I’m saying is they looked the best dressed. Re-inc launched their RWB collection and Tobin was the designer while Christen was a model. Then, Tobin decided to also be a model but in… Africa? That’s right, T and C went to South Africa for Grass Roots Soccer and they also enjoyed a safari or two before heading to London for the GRS Gala. Christen looked absolutely stunning (as always) at the event and there was no doubt that Tobin was there to support her. The holiday season has begun and at the end of the month, the girls went their separate ways to spend Thanksgiving with their families. The break was much needed and I’m sure they’re looking forward to an entire month off.

December Tobin and Christen enjoyed their month off by staying pretty quiet, but they did enjoy a snowy vacation towards the end of the month. Then, it was Christmas time and it seemed like a lot of gifts were from Tobin + Christen. Before CP’s bday could happen, they had to attend the WoSo Royal Wedding. They both looked stunning and it was just an unbelievable night in general. Finally, Christen celebrated her 31st birthday right before the decade came to an end. What a truly amazing year.

2020

January It’s the beginning of a new year and the end of the offseason, but it was still pretty quiet until the very end of the month. January Camp in Florida began in the middle of the month and didn’t stop for the 20 players named to the Olympic Qualifying roster. Obviously Tobin and Christen were and the team relocated to Texas to prepare for their group stage games of Olympic Qualifying. (Also re inc had another reset the table event). Christen started the first game against Haiti and scored a goal in the 2nd minute… talk about starting the year off with a bang. CP was also named the player of the match and she honestly seemed like she was the only one who wasn’t shaking off the rust. Unfortunately, Tobin missed out on the first game due to a slight strain but she was back in action against Panama. She even scored a no-look goal and didn’t think we would notice. Christen also added to her goal total and has now scored in 4 straight games. With two wins in their group, the USWNT has secured their spot in the semifinals and are one step closer to qualifying for the Olympics.

February Olympic Qualifying carried over into February and so did Christen’s goal scoring. CP scored two goals in the USWNT’s last group stage game against Costa Rica. The first goal she scored that game was an absolute banger and was eventually named the goal of the tournament. Also, Christen was named player of the match for the SECOND TIME of the tournament. The goal scoring didn’t stop because she scored another banger against Mexico after jumping on her own rebound. There was no way that ball wasn’t going in the back of the net. After all of this scoring and player of the match wins Christen was rightfully named best player of the entire CONCACAF tournament. She was absolutely glowing with her golden ball trophy before she gave it to her father (who was more than appreciative). Tobin was also feeling generous and gave her first place medal to a fan in the crowd (I guess that’s allowed?). After successfully qualifying for the olympics and remaining reigning CONCACAF champions, everyone had a slight break before training for the She Believes Cup began. Tobin and Christen were named to the roster, but before training could begin the gals had a photoshoot in the brand new olympic kits. I’m not saying Christen decided to debut her new engaygment ring at said photoshoot but I’m not not saying that. (Good job Tobin ;) ) It’s definitely not the offseason anymore and on February 29th, we were all leaping for joy that training camp had resumed in Florida.

March The whole gayng got to be aunties to Cassius in Florida during camp and apparently it was good luck because the USWNT won their first game in the She Believes Cup against England. It was definitely thanks to Christen’s absolute GOLAZO (the only thing she’s allowed to score against England). CHRISTEN PRESS what have you DONE. The USWNT didn’t stop and neither did Christen because in the next gain against Spain she assisted the winning goal in the 86th minute off a free kick. Christen and Tobin BOTH started against Japan and Christen was even at the number nine spot. Brownsuganumba9 lives on. It must’ve been an amazing position for her (who knew) because she scored another GOLAZO against Japan. It chipped the keeper and it was honestly filthy. CHRISTEN PRESS what did you DO. The USWNT won the She Believes Cup, but are still fighting the equal pay lawsuit against ussoccer. During the warm up of the final game of the tournament they all wore jerseys inside out to display the now iconic symbol of four stars with a blank crest. They’re in this together. Just as the USWNT played their last game, the entire world entered a quarantine. Everyone went home and it’s unclear when anyone will return to the field for club or country. However, in the midst of quarantine, there was a Surprise: Snow Storm! and Re-inc launched their posters. It has also allowed CEO Christen and the rest of the Re-inc team to start doing instagram lives in order to interact with fans. We’re in this together.

April This month began like the last one ended, still in quarantine, but that didn’t stop Re-inc from launching their BW capsule collection, but before that an absolutely INCREDIBLE photo was taken and it's pretty much the only major thing that happened this month. Thank you Miss Tobin Heath. However, all of the re-inc founders have been a lot more active on the account (probably because soccer is momentarily paused for right now). Christen found a Stacy plant and remembrance candle along with other plants for the rest of her fam. Tobin and Christen are most definitely quarantining in Portland together and will be for a while.

The following is when superdupergust took over.

May With quarantine still underway, May was all about the social media (which Christen used to flash that engaygement ring a few more times). Tobin took over re-inc's insta for a day, during which she got up surprisingly early, listened to jazz music, and killed us all with her thighs. Had you forgotten that Preath were living together? No? Well, they decided to bless us with a reminder anyway, in the form of a Zoom snippet in which T&C were adorably domestic. Then Christen surprised us with the a super gay picture of Tobin underneath a rainbow, thus winning Tobin Tuesday forever.

June Bigger and more important things were happening in June, but there were a few Preath happenings to note. Christen appeared on sportscenter and proved that she is queen of the nose boop. She was also interviewed on Load Management. Tobin debuted her ugly af new glasses, which sparked The Great Glasses Debate of 2020, and she also modeled the new Thorns kit, even though she won't be playing in it this year. We got lots of artist!Tobin content with the release of proxɘmics, and one photo was Super Extra Gay with the fridge in the background featuring not only gay art by Tobin, but a print out of a love poem Christen had posted on Insta several months before.

July July started off pretty quietly. Christen did another Instagram live - this time with chopra. re-inc teased and released the popsicle drop, but that was pretty much it. Until...THE DAY WE FUCKING DIED, PART TWO. Thanks to newly appointed gay icon Stacy's Pita Chips, we were suddenly inundated with a year's worth of content in a single day. Podcasts, pictures of T&C in the same frame, touching and looking absolutely smitten, videos where they both used terrible Zoom backgrounds to avoid giving the impression that they were in the same apartment...honestly, it was like something from a dream. Go buy some of their slightly overpriced but delicious chips right now, tbh. We owe them one. Alas, much as we would have liked July 16th to go on forever, it had to end. But the month still had one surprise up its sleeve, and it went out with a bang when Tobin decided to casually drop a pic featuring a very large new ring on a Very Important Finger. An engagement ring? A wedding ring? DEFINITELY one or the other, but no conclusive evidence as of yet. Everyone say a prayer for C to drop a pic in August...

August Alas, Christen did not provide any wedding ring evidence, but she did call Tobin her sun (if you squint a little). More cute popsicle pics dropped, and Tobin tried to murder us with her biceps. Christen did us another solid and confirmed herself as an Oregonian - we love to see it! The weeks passed, and it looked like nothing much was going to happen in August, and we were beginning to cry for content. But behold, the gods of football heard us, and we were surprised by unofficial news of T&C being loaned to Manchester United for the season...TOGETHER? Amazing. Incredible. Legendary. (Still waiting on that confirmation, though.)

September Stacy's Pita Chips is the gift that keeps on giving, and their gift this month was the first mentorship session. But it's time to get back to football, because on the tenth, it became official: Tobin and Christen would be finishing out the season at Manchester United...together. Cue screaming as Preath fans around the world suddenly began dreaming dreams of seeing them playing side-by-side once more! But football wasn't the only thing they were getting up to this month. Re-inc continued to be amazing, and teamed up with Michelle Obama and others for when we all vote. Fun side development: USWNT PA revealed that they ship Preath. How, you ask? They rolled out nothing other than a legit Preath shirt. Yes, for real. And they're not the only ones. Bless whatever Preath shipper secretly runs Manchester United's socials, because the content abounded throughout the month.

October Christen and Tobin made their debut for the Red Devils against Brighton & HA, during which Tobin got her first assist for United! Then they walked out barefoot onto the pitch together, like the marrieds they are. On the 7th, they played against Liverpool, then again on the 10th, against the Spurs. But the most exciting moment on the 10th happened just after the game...when Preath met baby Charlie (and Christen couldn't seem to keep her hands off of Tobin). Then came the 18th, vs West Ham, when Preath decided to pull off the Ultimate Football Wives move: they scored their first goals for United in the same game. In the next few days, they did some interviews together. Christen made the most adorable instagram post of all time, ostensibly as a promotion for the new re- source collection.

November November arrived, and the first game of the month was against Arsenal. Alas, neither of them scored, though Tobin did manage to get a nutmeg in under 50 seconds, because of course she did. A few days later, the expansion draft happened, and all hell broke loose when Louisville acquired the rights to both Tobin and Christen. They both stayed quiet about the change, though Tobin did not adhere to these same guidelines when she threw down some some fighting words in an interview about the upcoming Manchester Derby. Christen, meanwhile, monologued about the weather, and we loved her anyway. Then the Derby happened, and Tobin rocketed in an absolute beauty of a goal of the sort that begs to be watched on repeat. Soon, T&C were off to the Netherlands for the first USWNT camp in close to a year. In the showdown featuring the final two teams from the 2019 World Cup, Christen was starting #9, and she notched an assist just before halftime.

December We aren't the only Tobin fans, Barclays reveals when they name Tobin Player of the Month. The refs, however, aren't as convinced, and one gives her a yellow five minutes into extra time during the game versus Reading. That same day, Tobin's jawline alone converts thousands of TikTok users into woso fans (or at least causes them to briefly question their sexuality). Christen isn't playing, due to illness - non-COVID-related, thank goodness - but that doesn't stop her from being nominated for the USWNT 2020 Player of the Year. Three days later, she's doing well enough to be spotted in the stands at the game versus Everton. The game, sadly, ends in a loss, but it clearly serves as some hella good motivation. They emerge from the game versus Bristol City with a 6-1 victory, two of which are Tobin goals. The games are over for the year, but it's never been a better time to be a Preath fan, because in addition to posting several throwback pictures with Tobin on her social media over the month, Christen wishes us all a Merry Christmas (& you're welcome) by posting a picture of her and Tobin together. Interestingly, it's the same tree from Tobin's post earlier in the month. Almost like they're always in the same apartment or something. Crazy!

2021

January Sharing continues to be caring, because in addition to the Christmas tree, they also happen to share a cute lil plant. They're not always inside, though, because they go for a walk in the snow, and Christen makes some bigtime heart eyes. When the first game of the year rolls around, Tobin and Christen are both there, rather than at National Team camp, as when invitations went out, Christen was still sick, and Tobin chose to stay to help United in the January FA Women's Super League fixtures. Things take a turn, however, because Christen is the starting #9 against Chelsea, while Tobin stays on the bench all game, wearing trainers instead of boots. It's announced later that Tobin has an ankle injury, which will keep her off the field for the next 10-12 weeks, taking her out of commission for Manchester United but also ensuring she won't be competing in SheBelieves. Neither of them play in the next game, but on the last day of the month, Christen scores an absolute beauty of a goal against Everton. We can't wait to see what she has in store for February!

February It's February, and you know what that means: She Believes Cup time!! No Tobin, due to injury, but Christen is ready to rock! Things open up with a close game, as the USWNT squeaks by with a 1-0 victory against Canada. Christen scores in the 11th minute of the next game against Brazil and follows it up with an beauty of a goal in the 88th minute in the game against Argentina. With that, the US solidifies their spot as the winners of the 2021 She Believes Cup! Tobin, left behind in Manchester with nothing to do but post orange hearts on Instagram and root for her favorite girl, actually decides to join the UTD podcast and bless us with her smile as she talks about being the oldest person on the Manchester United squad.

March It turns out, Tobin did have some things keeping her busy in February - secret re-inc projects! Tobin reveals her new art, ADA (ADA as in Ada Lovelace, creator of the first computer algorithm, not as in the Americans with Disabilities Act, much to this author's initial confusion), a painting featuring binary code. CP is a proud wifey, as always. On the pitch, United plays against Aston Villa with no TC on the field, but Christen does show up looking all adorable with her beloved hot water bottle in tow. She plays in the following game against Arsenal, as well as the game against West Ham, where she scores a gorgeous goal! Back off the pitch, TC co-gift the world's largest and most expensive stuffed dog for Krashlyn's new baby daughter, Sloane, who dubs them aunties. (Take a moment to recover from the sheer cuteness.) They also *gasp* share a screen when joining in the background of the Equal Pay Day press conference at the White House, which is honestly enough to hold us over until July.

April April starts off with a bang that none of us could possibly have expected: Tobin tells Christen she loves her in a public forum, in the most adorkable way possible, causing a fandom-wide meltdown. Nothing else much happens on the Preath front this month, but this will honestly feed us for a year. With Tobin still working on recovery, Christen goes to national team camp solo, then starts against Sweden (1-1 draw) and France (2-0 USA). Back at Manchester, Christen scores a goal against Tottenham. Meanwhile, re-inc drops the Gamer Collection, and honestly no one besides Christen Press could make sweatpants look this good.

May May continues the quiet streak, but one high point is Christen becoming an ambassador for Goody hair products, which means lots of new pictures to make us (and also Tobin, probably) fall even more in love with her. She also plays her last game with Manchester United against Everton, during which she notches an assist. Once she is back stateside, she gets vaccinated. She also posts an adorable picture with her dogs, whom she has obviously missed, followed by a very LA-themed set of photos (which just might be some great foreshadowing for an event a few months following...). Tobin's radio silence is finally broken at the end of the month when she posts for her birthday, which she spends with her brother.

June June starts out on a Wild note when T&C lowkey get outed in a Pride Month Instagram story from the cake company they used for Tobin's birthday cake. The next day is Christen's sister's wedding, and Tobin is barefoot because of course she is. They add another piece of jewelry to their shared jewelry box. We also have another instance of our favorite Tobographer. Then it's time for soccer, and our favorite couple heads to Texas for camp, followed by the Summer Series. The first game is against Portugal, during which Christen gets her 40th career assist with the national team. Christen and Tobin can't wink or flirt, but they're still adorable. Next up is Jamaica, and Christen gets Woman of the Match. After that is Nigeria, and Christen scores the opening goal! We FINALLY get a look at the Olympics roster, including both T&C. Then, because June still has more to give, Christen takes over the re-inc insta for a day. As the saying goes, but wait, there's more! Christen and Tobin host a party for the reunite re-inc line. They look entirely too cute eating fruit together.

July July begins with the Send-Off Series, a two-game series against Mexico. AND BOY IS GAME ONE A GOOD ONE. Christen scores twice, and Tobin makes her grand return to football with an absolute banger basically two seconds after being subbed in. AND THERE ARE HUGS. SO MANY HUGS. IN THE RAIN. At one point they basically audition for the cover of a Nicholas Sparks novel. Then comes the second game, featuring the most ridiculous ref ever to ref, when an accidental whistle blow that players clearly didn't hear winds up disallowing an absolutely stunning Preath goal. But not to worry! We still win, and Tobin scores for the second game in a row (featuring another hug and an incredibly dorky celebration). (We're still salty, though.) Then it's officially Tokyo time! The 2021 "2020" Olympics begin with a game against Sweden that all of us would just very much like to forget. Next up is The One with All the Offsides Calls New Zealand. Both our gals get an assist, and Christen gets her first ever Olympic goal!! During practice, they're showing off some pretty out of control grounding heart eyes. Then history is made when Tobin and Christen actually post a re-inc video where they're in the same frame. And guess what? The world doesn't implode! The next game is against Australia, which ends in a nil-nil draw. But the important thing is that there's Preath hug, and in certain angles, it looks like a kiss (even though it isn't, alas). Then comes the game against the Netherlands, which is a 2-2 tie that goes to penalties. Christen is up, and every single person in the fandom collectively holds their breath, the 2016 Olympics running through our brains. But she makes it, and the camera immediately cuts to Tobin screaming her head off for her *cough*wife*cough* teammate. The US wins!

August The game against Canada sadly ends in a 0-1 loss. It takes away our chance for gold, but the silver lining (see what I did there?) is that the game is Tobin's 176th cap, officially moving her up to third place for most Olympic appearances in USWNT history. The US still has a chance for the bronze, and they play Australia for it...and emerge victorious! Christen finally has her Olympic medal!! In fact, she strangely seems to have two of them...wonder where she got the second...? The next day, the Olympic Village is the scene of some cute Preath moments, official and unofficial. Then Tobin gets on Instagram and ends the entire fandom with the absolute cutest post ever. The rest of the month is eventful: re-inc drops the Field of Flowers collection. There's a fan sighting in Jersey. And most importantly, CP to LA comes true! Angel City announces Christen as their first signing!

September The signing news doesn't end with Christen, though. Only a few days later, it's announced that Tobin is heading to Arsenal, her lifelong favorite team! LA continues to provide lots of Christen content. Which is nice, because Christen announces she's taking a short break from football to focus on herself. Therefore, Tobin is the only one at camp later in the month. The US plays Paraguay for back-to-back games, and sadly the Paraguayan national team doesn't let this author sneak aboard their plane to see the game in person. Still, the US wins decidedly with a final score of 9-0 on the first night and 8-0 on the second, with one of the goals in Game #1 coming from Tobin. Then Tobin is off to England. Christen also declares she'll be going on a journey...which also strangely happens to lead her to Tobin's first Arsenal game...and her second, where they share a hug after the game, despite not even being on the field together. We love to see it. :')

October In progress

#mobile timeline

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gildedmuse · 4 years

Text

I was totally going to post about what makes Raizo awesome, answer a question and fill a request but then my phone got destroyed. While I spend the next day or so fixing that. Here. Enjoy this....

@dragonprincess18 replied:

Poor guys, their dreams were crushed...And it was a simple dream. They just wanted mystical shadow assassins to be real. ...And now I'm imagining a crossover between One Piece and Ninja Turtles.

@gildedmuse replied:

Which one does Luffy inevitably ask to join his crew? Cause I feel like the easy answer: Michelangelo. But actually I think it would be Master Splinter.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

I can see Luffy and Law fighting to get all five on their crew, and being forced to settle on shared custody. 😂

@gildedmuse replied:

I asked my brother and his expert opinion was, "I don’t know, you're probably right. But Donatello and Franky be bros."

Also, we agreed that Raphael is just an angry Zoro. Which I was like, "You don't think Luffy would ask Law to join his crew?"

His reply, "Well, he hasn't asked yet. Probably jealous of all that sweet time Law got with Zoro on the way to Wano."

I HAVE TRAINED THIS BOY SO WELL PEOPLE

@dragonprincess18 replied:

Clearly! 😂 I think Donny would get along well with Law, too, as would Leo, while Raph and Mikey would prefer Luffy if only because he gets into the craziest adventures.

And Master Splinter would just want to listen to his shows.

@gildedmuse replied:

Leo: We need a plan.

Luffy: Good point, Lion Turtle!

Law: THAT IS LITERALLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!?

Luffy: Huh. I guess never heard you before because you're not a giant turtle ninja guy.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

Oh my god, that's exactly what would happen! 🤣 And Zoro teaming up with Raph to pick on Sanji, while Donny joins up with Usopp and Franky to build some crazy stuff while Mikey rolls around the deck with Chopper like a dork.

@gildedmuse replied:

Raphael's and Zoro's Sole Interaction:

Raphael: *Nods to Zoro* Nice swords.

Zoro: *Nod returned* Nice Sais.

Small But Morally In The Right Group Of Fans: Oh, well, I would ship the FUCK out of these two.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

That sounds about right!

Poor Master Splinter, I think he'd hide on the Polar Tang for some peace and quiet...

@gildedmuse replied:

Leo suggests all the most Law like shit only Luffy actually acknowledges him and takes it into consideration because he’s a goddamn ninja turtle. Law spends the entire time just over Leo's shoulder in various states of sullenness, outrage and indignation. This is exactly the advice he gave yesterday and Strawhat-ya straight up ignored.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

I figure he'd just take advantage of it and work with Leo to get things back on track after a while, still muttering under his breath about how Luffy never listens to him.

@gildedmuse replied:

For some reason all I see now is Law being like, "Alright, I'm agreeing to leave Leo here because God knows someone should reign in the Strawhat. But goddamnit, Raphael comes with me. You only get one!" 4

Luffy: Okay if we also keep the rat monster!

Nami: No, Luffy, that doesn't make sense. There are 4 turtles and 2 of you!

Luffy: Oh, yeah, thank God we have this navigator-

Bepo: That is not what navigation is!

Luffy: What do you mean we only get one?

Law: -pointing between Zoro and Raphael- You. Only. Get. One.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

I can definitely see Luffy just assuming everything Nami does as a 'navigator' thing. And Law trying to barter for Donny so he doesn't get stuck with Mikey. 😂

Oh my gosh, YES. 🤣

@gildedmuse replied:

You know Zoro tries to just stare down his captain as Luffy looks between the two like he isn't secretly nervous. Like... He believes in Luffy and their connection but also.... It's a goddamn ninja that's also a turtle and has goddamn awesome sai. So... You know, could go either way. He understands. It's a fucking ninja turtle.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

I would definitely be torn! And there's Sanji, egging Luffy on to keep the turtle. 😂

@gildedmuse replied:

Sanji: come on he's exactly like Zoro only useful!

Zoro: Oi!

Sanji: What? At least if we're stuck out at sea we can make turtle soup out of him.

Chopper: Using food to guide Luffy's logic isn't fair! (Turtle soup does sound yummy though)

And Zoro just standing there like come on, Chopper, you too?

@dragonprincess18 replied:

And Mikey asking to go on the Tang because he doesn't want to be made into soup, while Raph grabs him by the mask like, I'm not getting stuck with you!

@gildedmuse replied:

I love that both Raph and Zoro are like well, you know what? I've accepted my date of being forced to go with Law. That is some good sidekick vision. They know who the fucking protagonist is!

Actually, phone, I meant fate but fuck it. I'm sticking with date.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

Raph hates it, but he's a natural second-in-command. And he also doesn't want to be stuck with Leo. 😂

There are no accidents.

@gildedmuse replied:

Raphael: Well, I'm choosing Law.

Zoro: -At the same time- We'd obviously both like to stay with our actual Captains so-

Zoro:...

Zoro: Wait did you just pick Law?

Zoro: -Eyeing Leo-

Zoro: Yeah... I'm gonna go ahead and go with Law as well then.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

And Luffy goes all anaconda on them, like NO! Law only gets one! Zoro's mine!

@gildedmuse replied:

On the sidelines Nami, Chopper and Usopp who do not want to be left without a super strong swordsman are just like WHAT!?

Zoro can't explain. There's just something about some other dude with blades that he would definitely fight To The Death that he inherently trusts.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

And Sanji is trying to convince him to let Zoro go while Leo just tries to massage away a headache, and Donny raises a hand, like "I...also want to go with Law now."

Though I could also see Zoro taking Leo as a sparring partner.

And Usopp bartering for Donny, while Brooke quietly hides Master Splinter behind him.

@gildedmuse replied:

But that would be like Zoro taking Law as a sparing partner. Like I see it... I get where you're coming from. But there is sparing partners vs people you want to be on a crew with. Said with all the love in her heart. (Also, let's face it, it's Zoro. He can argue about it but whoever Luffy says they're taking... Those are now the people he would die for.)

@dragonprincess18 replied:

True...Zoro would do pretty much anything for Luffy. Except be nice to Sanji. There are lines.

@gildedmuse replied:

Also, for the record, Bepo considers them all minks and try to treat them as such and the turtles just like, "Well, no bro." And Bepo continuously shocked by this. Continuously.

I mean there are lines than there are fucking impassable mountains forever separating two spots.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

Yeah, Bepo would be so confused.

Exactly, there are some things that can't be done.

@gildedmuse replied:

Luffy: Zoro, I need you to die for this crew

Zoro: I have already accepted this sacrifice and moved to make it so. Just as long as you become pirate king and my crew lives.

Luffy: Zoro, legitimately the only way the crew will survive is if you are nice to Sanji for like an hour... At most.

Zoro: Well, Captain, you and the crew can go fuck yourselves cuz that ain't happening.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

Yup. That's a canon conversation they've had in their minds. No need to voice it, Luffy knows. It's hard enough when Zoro has to work with Sanji for two straight minutes!

In comparison, Leo and Raph are best friends!

@gildedmuse replied:

For the record, if you were writing some weird NT/OP fanfic that was also ZoLaw friendly that is right there how you would get Zoro on the Polar Tang.

Law: Actually, we'd have to take the turtle bladesman. Obviously yours is too invested in staying here with you... And black leg-ya who will also be on this ship.

Zoro: FUCK IT, HAVE THE TURTLE I’M GOING WITH NOTSA... WITH LAW.

Law: -I got your swordman. Whatcha gonna do Strawhat? But nonverbal cuz Law-

I mean yeah because Raphael clearly a second. I know this because I have an unfortunate love of seconds. Like just love a main character or at least the fucking leader goddamnit. But still... You always love your captain, even if he has a stick up his ass.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

And Luffy pouting, but letting Zoro go... Because he plans on never letting Law leave, either. 😝 Neighbors!

It's an unfortunate truth. Especially when you're the second-oldest.

@gildedmuse replied:

Oh well you've broken me. That's too cute. Just Luffy pouting like fine... But NAMI NEVER LET THAT SHIP OUT OF YOUR SIGHT!

Zoro just like "I'm an adult and also.... Two years."

Luffy: I will never. Let you. Leave me.

Zoro: I am in no way trying to.

Luffy: -Dark eyes of Determination- Never.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

And Law standing there like, I'm never getting away from this, this is my life now, what did I do to deserve this? While the turtles are mostly relieved they're all staying together.

@gildedmuse replied:

Law: -Despair-

Bepo: There there captain. At least you got a Swordsman now.

Law: I AM A SWORDSMAN! Leo-ya is a swordsman! Why does no one think of us!?

Penguin: Well no one actually forgot about Leo, we just accepted him as staying with the Strawhats so....

Meanwhile, Across The Ship

Zoro: Alright, so Kid and Drake are out. Why not the Bonney Pirates?

Nami: Again,not physically here.

Chopper: AND WHY DO YOU WANT TO ABANDONED US!?

Law: -DESPAIR-

The only argument regarding Law being all, "You know what? Fine take him back" is regarding if it's Zoro's destructiveness or Luffy's stubbornness that drives him to the edge.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

Zoro: It's me or the shitty cook.

Sanji: I'm not going anywhere, mosshead!

Zoro: See?

Chopper and Usopp: 😭

Or both. Both is possible. And Luffy will still follow him everywhere because "We're allies, Torao! That means we're friends, and friends don't run from friends!" "THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!"

@gildedmuse replied:

Law: GET OUT!

Nami: Now would you say it was Zoro or Luffy's behavior that finally broke you?

Law: Excuse me?

Nami: Look, there is actual money on the line here, Law, so I will not hesitate to kill you.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

Law: ...Luffy.

Nami: I knew it! Pay up!

Usopp: Aw man, I swore it'd be Zoro's sense of direction...

@gildedmuse replied:

"JUST BECAUSE WE'RE ALLIES DOESN'T MAKE US FRIENDLY, STRAWHAT-YA! YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE YOUR SWORDSMAN BACK BECAUSE YOU MISS HIM!

Luffy: I DIDN'T HEAR ANY OF THAT I’M GONNA JUST KEEP ON ASSUMING YOU KNOW THE RIGHT WAY BECAUSE WE BESTIES!

Law: I DO NOT LIKE YOU!

Luffy: LOVE YOU TOO!

Bepo is just like "Usopp is not wrong it's pretty bad you guys " No one pays him any attention. Maybe if he was a fucking ninja turtle....

When a Kung Fu polar bear just isn't enough

@dragonprincess18 replied:

Law is a grumpy panda teddy, and Luffy knows it. There's no denying it now. They've all seen it. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he and Mikey both read Sora: Warrior of the sea.

Poor Bepo, he's still cute enough for me! *hugs Bepo*

@gildedmuse replied:

I mean you know Raphael reads that shit but doesn't openly tell anyone right? Because I feel that is definitely true.

@dragonprincess18 replied:

Raphael has a reputation to uphold. And a baby brother to annoy. 😂

#personal shit #too long posts #teenage mutant ninja turtles #one piece #roronoa zoro #trafalgar d. water law #monkey d luffy #one piece crossover #conversations with internet people

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janiedean · 4 years

Text

aaah, and I thought the throbb/theon fandom couldn’t disappoint me more than it already had

and yet.

okay, so, whatever, I’ve been made aware of a situation on twitter and honestly I’m tired, so let’s just have it out.

apologies for the long-ass post but I honestly am tired of being the uber-correct person who addresses everyone directly and properly and so on and all I get is finding out people trash talk behind your back anyway and don’t engage with me if they have a problem.

so, yesterday I’m minding my damned business, I see that @fleurdulys is apparently in some discussions with anti sansan people calling her names, I send her a message like ‘oh god they found you I’m so sorry’ because I have seen anti sansan takes back in the day, two people including someone that had stalked her for months start tagging me too and accusing me of the usual condoning That Horrible Problematic Ship and of being a pedo apologist blah blah blah, I block both of them, the day after another two show up in my mentions uninvited, I block both of them.

then someone who was monitoring the situation warns me that some anon is trash talking me and fleur in the curiouscat asks of some other person that I had absolutely no knowledge of until then. I went to block them, found out I had blocked them already because they were anti thr/amsay and shipped a theon show only ship I really don’t like so I went and blocked them in JULY before they changed nickname because I’m an adult and I like to think I can cut out of my life people I don’t want to risk interacting with because I know I don’t have anything to say to them. said person accused me of ‘using as a tactic calling everything calvinist’ which... well, when the problem is that antis are basically being that it’s not a tactic but whatever, I addressed it on twitter and changed my screen name as a joke because y’know what let’s embrace it, I don’t like calvinists anyway.

I go and forget about it and then the same someone monitoring the situation informs me that these lovely people had this other exchange - I’m not mentioning who it is but they’ll know and at this point I’m honestly done:

now.

sorry but what the hell.

first of all, going in order:

I blocked receiver of the CC ages ago because she ships a thing that for me is an absolute no and I have very good reasons to not like it, and I have zero interest in talking to people who ship that AND are th/ramsay antis, which is a thing that I have zero patience for whichever side of the fence you’re on - saying it as someone who doesn’t like th/ramsay but ffs I don’t agree with anti-ing stuff, if you hate it blacklist and move on with your life;

also, I wasn't lurking on her anons because I didn’t even know she was involved but someone else monitoring the situation told me I was the subject of one of them and I went and checked for myself, so like... sorry I’m not unblocking because I never searched for her, I never talked to her, I never wanted contact with her and she and the anon are there trash talking me and fleur for shipping a fictional ship so what are we even talking here;

and that’s the premise, but: I had gotten my 'bitch ass away from throbb' in 2011, the amount of fics that fandom has would Not Exist At All because *I* was the sole steady contributor (ie the only person who kept on posting it) 2011-18 (and fandom drove out the only other steady contributor in 2015-8 lmao), *I* was the one organizing most theon-based fandom events (which were opened to all ships, including the ones I hated, and if I could handle posting th/ramsay fanart/reading th/ramsay prompts/assigning them when the exchange was anonymous and I had to post all the contributions when looking at th/ramsay art made me sick back in the day I think OP can tolerate people existing and shipping stuff she don't like), *I* was the one periodically coming up with ways to make the tag less filled with hate, *I* called out every single anti shaming anyone for their ships - from thramsay to theonsa because there were theonsa antis back in S5 but she wouldn't know I suppose -, so like she can pay me the favor to not even going there because if it wasn't for me she wouldn't have throbb fic to read *period* (not to brag but check, before I started spamming the tag and helped bringing in people along with someone else who's not in fandom anymore there were literally six), so how about she check what are her contributions to the fandom (less than mine probably) other than creating drama? thanks.

also ‘theon and robb would beat pedos up’ please check your facts, theon/jeynep is going to most likely be canon and she’s like thirteen and he’s twenty-two, which is a nine year age gap, which is not even that far from sansan. also your favorite theon ship has an eight years age gap in the books too so just stop. you ain’t coherent. at least be coherent. but you can’t, because every single asoiaf ship is problematic for some reason. ;)

and that was it for OP.

now, for the anon, who honestly... the entitlement, I swear to god, but in order: if you’re that pressed because I haven’t written throbb in months also thanks to people like you you could have like, come and talked to me on tumblr because regardless from what you assume I don’t bite. also I see that you’re a throbb shipper and you’re calling me THROBB CONTENT GENERATOR?

CONTENT GENERATOR?

ARE YOU COMPLETELY OUT OF IT?

I’M A HUMAN BEING, I’M NOT YOUR DAMNED CONTENT GENERATOR.

I DON’T GENERATE CONTENT FOR YOUR SATISFACTION, I WRITE FIC FOR SHIPS I LIKE. throbb is my otp (still, even if y’all really are trying to drive me out lol) and I wrote novels of it for years for free because I love it, BUT NOT BECAUSE I’M YOUR DAMNED CONTENT GENERATOR.

content generator.

I’m just. actually you know what, if I write throbb again after this, you can be 100% sure there’s gonna be full-on blown canon sansan in it for a very long time and I’m absolutely not going to make it avoidable if you don’t scroll half of the fic. also ‘I could ask her to write it but she’d put sansan in it so I won’t’ who the hell do you think you are?

who the hell do you think you are?

I take prompts when I can because I want to and because once in a while I enjoy the idea of writing stuff for people because other than being something I love, I like the idea that I can make someone’s day nicer by filling them a prompt if they like my writing, I don’t do that just because you ask.

what the hell? so you’d ask and me, a poor idiot, not knowing it was you, would put it on a to-write list of prompts that’s like ten pages of notebook long because that’s how long my goddamned list is, while you’re here laughing that someone whose writing you like but whose personality you obviously despise has written you your favorite ship for free not knowing that it’s for someone that doesn’t like her all that much?

jesus christ.

like, I thought this fandom couldn’t get lower than the let’s plagiarize fics deal last july, but this is honestly rich.

and then you wonder why whenever I think about finishing sfbd or writing a ship that used to make me happy to write now I go like ‘f* this noise why should I bother I’m writing any other damned pairing instead’.

and I have to read this shit from someone who, when I blocked them the moment I got the fandom twitter account, who I never searched for, who I never talked to and who is friends with people who happily accuse others of being pedo apologists because they ship sansan which is, oh, wait, an almost-canon ship with canon text supporting it and that grrm himself certainly doesn’t hate and has admitted to have been leading up to, and now wants me to unblock her to talk??? when their friends showed up in my mentions absolutely uninvited because I sent support to someone who was arguing with them because we both ship sansan and I’ve done it for longer so I know how’s the deal?

and from some kind of anon who sure as hell reads my fics enough that they know I’m still the most prolific throbb contributor to the tag even if I haven’t written throbb in a year and some who calls me content generator and not even contributor as if I was some kind of juke box machine where you put in prompts and get out 5k minimum fics for free? and who still would like to read them enough to throw that shade but has no issues trashing me because I’m pointing out that antis think exactly like 17th century calvinists, which is a thing that can 100% be proved the moment you look up how the aforementioned calvinists thought?

like, I’d like to kindly tell the both of them to find a hobby that’s not trying to fele better harassing people they don’t know for fictional ships and remind everyone on here (because I’m sure anon is on tumblr as it’s where I hang out most of the time anyway) including the few anons who have asked me if I’d consider writing throbb again in the last months and who asked me if I’d run theonexchange again at some point that fic writers are human beings, not jukeboxes, and that being assholes has, as a usual consequence, driving the content creators out. I’m not a content generator, I’m not here to get laughed at because I fill prompts and I generally like to put content in the tags and not drama and because I think that being a fandom contributor should mean spreading positivity instead of shaming people for what they ship.

anyway: as a conclusion to this rant, I’m definitely not writing throbb that doesn’t have sansan in it anytime soon and if I run theonexchange again at some point (which I would like to but with these premises you’ll see that finding the force of will when I have a life is kind of a problem) if I find out that OP or any of her friends want to participate they’re kindly welcomed not to because I’m banning them on sight.

wow, get my bitch ass away from a fandom I kind of helped make and contributed 10% of the ao3 content to.

congrats, you just made sure I really won’t when I was taking a break but I was planning to come back at some point even if right now it’s quite tempting.

thanks for reading this if you got to this point and sorry for the rant but I’m tired.

I’m really tired.

also I’ve always said I shipped sansan from the moment I was in this fandom, I tag it also for blacklisting purposes and I don’t even put it as a side in fics that much because it doesn’t come up, so if anyone is so disgusted by it they’re welcome to learn to coexist with people who ship stuff they don’t like.

again: I’m really tired.

#throbb #theon greyjoy #oh wow that's always nice to find out from people who technically ship what I like!#also i mean you'd think i'm idk some kinda snobbish asshole who doesn't reply to every single ask she gets #and who hasn't filled prompts here since 2011 without expecting really anything but whatever #and who hasn't like talked to people if they had issues #except that i did all of that #and finding out this crap is like disheartening #like wow then you wonder why i don't feel it anymore #as if i didn't spend years trying to make sure the theon fandom wasn't a continuous hatred shitfest #as if i didn't call people out for anti-ing any ship bc it was already not many of us #i just wanted people to get along and create stuff instead of eating each other up #even ship i personally didn't like or that ACTUALLY MADE ME SICK #i'm tired #i'm really tired #sorry for the word-vomit but some of you really need to learn some manners #obviously your parents didn't teach you #and it shows #thank you i'm done

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preathbar · 5 years

Text

Mobile Preath Timeline

It’s all here, and it’s a lot

Helpful Links: about navigation fic recs

THE FOLLOWING IS ORIGINALLY FROM SKATERTOBIN'S BLOG:

Ok so here’s what we think went down:

2015 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUGUST TO I WANNA SAY NOVEMBER? They get close during the victory tour, Chris being the only other person aside from Alex to be invited to Tobin’s 100th cap dinner and all and them sharing a seat at the White House. Basic stuff.

DECEMBER Christen tags along with Tobin on her Hawaii strolls (especially since both Cheney and ARod aren’t around for the Hawaii game). Wander around Waikiki Beach and hang out with Friends with Flowers in their hair and other fun things like that. Maybe Christen watches Tobin surf at some point and maybe Tobin teaches her how as well. 👀 Idk. But I’m positive swimming happens in cute bikinis because I mean.... it’s Hawaii!! 🙄 They they fly to NOLA for the last VT game. And Press is probs like “hey so where ya staying at after this (the China game)?” like while they’re walking along Bourbon Street where the Leather Jacket™ makes its first appearance. Then tobs is probs like “maybe Portland?” Then Chris is all “well that’s just a state away from where I’m headed wanna crash for a bit?” Then tobs, being the homeless little shit that she is, is maybe like “sweet can we go to the beach” then Christen is all “literally everyday” and then done deal. That’s that. So from there they take the same flight to LA from the NOLA airport. Why? Who knows but tbh Tobs maybe (definitely) stays in PV with Pressy and maybe (definitely) is the reason why Christen’s late to that boat parade at Newport with ARod and Whit cos you know... busy being a good host and such. But then it’s the holidays so we know Tobs would go home to her fam in the east coast for Christmas like the good daughter she’s supposed to be so she does, but she goes right back to LA to maaaaaybe celebrate Chris’ birthday. Boop. And you know since she’s already there they’re probably like, “why not spend New Year’s Eve together and train together at the TOCA center while we’re at it???” Like it’s the most obvious thing because I mean maybe they realize they’d be playing more together with Christen nally being close to a starting spot. Hawink!!!! Work on their chemistry as the kids call it because ya know... First Touch Is Everything™.

2016 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JANUARY So maybe Tobs flies back to spend New Years with fam again because Chris can’t have her forever. But also maybe not because that would have been very convinient since they get called in to camp in Cali shortly after. But I mean you know, who knows. But wtvr. So there they spend a lot of time together like going to the beach together and getting coffee together and entering and exiting the locker rooms and US soccer vans together. You know. Fun stuff. Then the SD game happens and then they all fly to their respective homes but Tobin doesn’t have a home remember so she invites Press to go to Portland with her and they hold hands at the airport while Press is wearing the Purple Hat™ and maybe they go to the Nike HQ together and go furniture shopping and then they have dinner at a fancy restaurant and Tobs shows Chris around her soon to be new home like a local. Then they fly back to LA because beastmode soccer is a thing and they wanna train and be beasts. And then in between they share sunsets together and play with Morena and Khaleesi and Tobin is snookums.

FEBRUARY It’s Olympic Qualifiers in Texas and well what do you know??? The little shits score a goal together, and then steal the van keys so they can go out on Valentine’s Day. There’s a monkey stuffed toy involved and I hate my life basically because @ god, why. 🔥 They go back to LA together after celebrating their Olympic qualifying win to watch the Arsenal vs Barça game in Santa Monica and have sushi together and also crash the u16 camp. Then they go back to PV and Fly Away™ because All We Need Is Love™. Also because christen has a fUCKING BODY ISSUE PHOTOSHOOT that they’re tOTALLY NOT SUBTLE ABOUT. Ok maybe they’re totally subtle. Kind of.

MARCH They go into the SheBelieves Cup in Florida and go Raw Juicin’ and jewelry shopping because that’s what gal pals do obviously. Chris probs tags along when Tobin hangs out with her French friends and they fly back together to NJ to meet Christen’s fam (who would have thought?!) and to NYC to Find Neverland. And then I mean imagine the goodbye for when they go their separate ways for the NWSL preseason and if you’re wondering how they’d cope, the answer is: Not well.

APRIL They meet again for the Orlando camp and they all gotta be lowkey and concentrate on the training but then the OCSC vs PTFC game happens and they’re not so slick and get accidentally recordedand Tobin’s like 🙅🙅🙅... So they train in Orlando and Colorado and win in Connecticut and Philly vs Colombia and then they play chess in between and have coffee. Turns out they’re new bus buddies too now Allie’s in camp. And maybe (definitely), Jill Ellis is a fangirl and ships the little shits together because suddenly Press is a right middy and Tobs is a right back. If not for the sole purpose of Foudy saying on live television that Tobin would be watching Christen’s ass the entire game, basically. Anyway. CAPTAIN Tobs gets some winking action caught on camera and we’re all just gone. Adios. Goodbye.

MAY NWSL starts back up and we’re all excited but also sad because preath but they’re fine and we’re being dramatic but not as dramatic as them because apparently they desperately miss one another??????.... So like, when Chicago plays in Seattle the same weekend Portland plays at home, what else would Tobs do right? Would she drive four hours to watch the game? The answer is yes. But why right???? WHYYYYY???? Because obviously, Press in the west coast means some much needed quality time in Portland i.e. a double date at a fancy vineyard with a view and some tacos.

JUNE The games vs. Japan happen in Denver and happen in Cleveland and that’s apparently not enough for them because Tobin tags along with Press and the Chicago girls to watch the MehNT and the Jumbotron loves them just as much as they do each other. The two part series of a battle of the baes in the CHIvsPOR NWSL games starts in Chicago and ends in Portland so naturally (duh) Press stays in Portland so the little shits could have private training sessions together before flying to Chicago again. Fuckers. (Honestly it’s not practical but thEY INSIST)

JULY The game vs South Africa happens after which they conveniently skedaddle ahead of everyone else in a separate car because of dinner reservations at yet another fancy restaurant. They both make it to the Olympic 18 and they “celebrate” it by going on a not-so romantic getaway to the ESPYS in LA and then they have dinner with Alex and Allie because like, Press probably (I’m sensing a theme, are you?) gotta have an initiation of sorts because things bout to get serious. 💁 But well Tobin gets an initiation of her own too so they’re even. 😅 But well, Tobin gets They head into camp in KC then win their Olympic send off game against CRC👀 and fly again to camp in DC with the NJ crew and chill before flying aGAIN for the Olympic Games !!!

AUGUST They get to Brazil and have a killer Olympics .............Can you believe the Olympics got cancelled this year?????? Amazing. Anyway. That’s irrelevant. What’s not irrelevant though!!!!!! is them coming back to the states!!!! But instead of going straight home, the little shits get a connecting flight from Chicago (to probably get stuff??) to Portland together to get away from it all. Some good music, good coffee, a little kite flying and some R & R with good company and suddenly all is right in the world again. 👍 NWSL regular season to look forward to.

SEPTEMBER So like, the NWSL starts up again right and they go their separate ways and you’d think they’d calm down a bit but BITCH YOU THOUGHT because they secretly meet up again because Press is Tobin’s plus one at her sister’s wedding in Rhode Island and she’s even invited to the rehearsal dinner which is “for immediate family and the bridal party only”. Cyb Press is considered immediate family?????? I can’t TBH. Anyway. That’s only for the weekend though because they gotta get back to their teams to play and try and get berths to the playoffs.... which they boTH DO!! Nice. NT training camp follows and it’s in Columbus so oBVIOUSLY Ms. Portland’s gotta fly in a day early to the east coast to meet up with Captain Chicago & Co. and we find out that Tobin’s tired af and that JJ is a shipper. 😌 Then Columbus happens where we finally get the goal celebration we truly deserve and where the whole stadium empathizes with two college dudes who are like “damn bro, number 12 ain’t straight”. And we can’t forget the regular coffee date . I swear to god it’s an addiction at this point. The game in Georgia isn’t as eventful as the last time we played the Netherlands but I guess it isn’t short of hearteyes. 😍

OCTOBER So anyway. Can you believe the NWSL gets canceled after the Thorns win the shield???????? This “playoff match” doesn’t actually happen. It’s true. Press just visits Portland to go mermaidingwith Tobin. (Euphemism? We may never know) So after then they fly to LA for a Sia concert because they can. But anyway, remember when we thought we got the goal celebration we deserved during that Thailand game? WRONG. Apparently the Swiss have other ideas because we’re all blessed and I’ve never felt more alive than I’ve ever felt in my life in this moment. And we almost get a repeat performance but I mean I guess it’s true lighting doesn’t strike the same place twice. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ̄ or something like that. La Blanquita goes Batista a few days later and Tobin has been established as a pretty useless maid of honor but I mean, she looks cute and her outfit repeater of a plus one (who is yet again invited to the rehearsal dinner!!!!!) looks cute too.

NOVEMBER At this rate is it even still surprising they’re practically living together? Portland Preath gets a part /something/ (because honestly who the fuck is still keeping track? Hint: not me) So Press Painting rainbows in an oversized, expensive ass Pride shirt in Tobin’s Portland kitchen is a thing thanks to Tobin’s (not Kling’s. Gotta make that clear.) very distinguishable floorboards and countertops. And apparently Press is practically a Thorn at this point, too, what with all that ball-kicking and strength training in Providence Park? Yeah. Ikr. Gross. They come to NorCal (to have coffee with a baby for practice) for the first Romania game and CYB they have chemistry on the field????? Like who woulda thunk?!?!?!?!? Also Press gets a hatty because she’s???? good???? at????? soccer????? (Also Christen brings herself sandwiches during games. Tobin doesn’t but CP ain��t selfish. If yanamsayin. Also, they’re literally married. Just thought you’d like to know.) K so anyway, boop boop, ROU part 2 aka the SoCal game becomes the perfect finish to the USWNT calendar year eSPECIALLY for the little shits because not only do we all get Blessed™ with another Preath goal, but basically Preath saves 2016 via great passes, bedroom eyes and hand holding. (PRESS SCORING AND ASSISTING IN EVERY GAME SINCE SWITZERLAND BTW????? Like, thank you, Tobin.) So no more games for the rest of the year, but that will not stop them from doing couple things because!!! They!!!! Are!!!!! Little!!!! Shits!!!!! The zenpups think so too. But anyway! It’s the return of Sunsets and Snookums in LA can you believe!!!!! There’s a romantic museum trip somewhere in the mix and some soccer on the beach too! Chris realizes then that her true passion is to be part of the circus and it’s all because of Circuit Bouldering in Portland (read: their home). Or I guess a second home because looks like Chris finally gets settled into her new house by the beach for a hot minute to enjoy rainbows before jetting off again. ✈

DECEMBER Right so Grassroot Soccer holds a gala and Christen is the guest of honor also it’s Tobin’s turn to be a plus one (and to a red carpet event at that!) in frEAKING LONDON and they’re both beautiful and I’m dead. I’m also thinking Chris is the one that scored them tickets to the Arsenal game the night before the gala because she is whipped and In LoveTM. Gross. They don’t stop there though because they think they’re sneaky Pete about watching El Clasicowith the fam (aka Allie & Bati) BUT NO!!!! You caught muthafuckas! There’s dancing in alleyways and reconnecting with old Spanish friends, too. Gross x 2 Euro trip continues in Sweden and Tobin and Christen literally sit on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G and it’s all so scenic and romantic. Gross x 3 Well, I didn’t think they’d ever come back from their European bae-cation, but they do and it’s straight to Portland for some Christmas decorating and Tobin wins POTY to make up for this shitty year so they celebrate by getting some coffee and tacos and training - their faves. Duh. It’s kind of a quiet Christmas, celebrating with their own friends and family but I mean, it’s Pressy’s birthday. So they reunite and go hiking in LA and Christen gets a new name. Hi Kristen! 🖐

2017 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JANUARY After ringing in the New Year with skiing and kisses (probably), Chris spends time in Portland, having shakes and breakfast with the bae. They go back to LA coming out of their own little bubble because it’s January training camp season and I’m having major flashbacks with them riding together to training and being locker room buddies! Their off day is as glorious as we’d expect, with some beach time and fun. (Thanks to JJ for being a shipper.) And we’re also blessed with Allie Long and a Harry Video. After camp, they’ve got a ton of down time so it’s the perfect opportunity to go chilling by their beach house. I say “their” because there’s a stray surfboard lying around and I’m sure as hell it ain’t Christen’s. 💁

FEBRUARY The next camp for SheBelieves isn’t til later on in the month so they fly back to home number 2 aka Portland to chill and be low key, watching Tove Lo on their date night. Tobin has a little photoshoot where she's in all her sweaty glory and itty bitty shorts and Christen flies off on her own for a bit for an appearance then it’s back to Portland for a low key vday. And then camp starts up and it feels like a drought but really, we’ll take what we can get. And what we get are matching backpacks and Harry.

MARCH The SheBelieves Cup starts really well with an Allie IG takeover (which is always gold js) and we’re blessed with cameos of the lovers slash bus buddies!! And we see that age old Preath Connection that we know and love. We even get a possible date night in between!!!! The second game is a doozy but the most important takeaway is that they’re literally married. From the bus to the locker rooms, from the bench all the way to the sidelines. Married. Wives. For life. Fact. Even the Press Pack is supportive. Last game of the tourney and it was a loss. Lol. Anyway. They were trying to be sneaky and we learn that the fams are at the games together to support them. That’s it. Next. There’s a lot of debate about whether or not Tobin calls Christen “babe” because we’re all thirsty but there’s also the thing about helping Chris move to her new Chicago apartment so insert Oprah what’s the truth gif here. And then before the month ends, there’s a perfectly planned preseason tournament in Portland. Right before which Press kidnaps Tobin and escapes to LA for some hula dancing and pineapples, and then brings her back because plus ones at weddings are overrated (not). But the tourney goes on and Tobin’s not playing but she’s enjoying her box in the stands. Meanwhile, Christen just wants to say hi.

APRIL Not much really happens because they’ve suddenly gone 100% stealth mode, with Tobin injured and not able to travel and all, but thanks to a little tweet we see that on NWSL opening day there was still some sort of support aka Tobin watching the Chicago game while on the stands for the Portland home opener. It’s better than nothing right? Oh and when Chicago visits PDX for the 3rd game, Chris gets taken down and Tobin looks away because she probably can’t watch it without going apeshit idk. Same. Anyway, Chris sends smiles towards the box and I guess I’m okay with that.

MAY “what injury?!” Tobin then says as she boards a flight to Chicago after the Thorns game to bear witness to/be the reason behind the end of the drought (goals & content tbh thank you). Cyb her back died so CRS could rise? Meanwhile to pass the time though Tobs becomes Asst Director for the Thorns youth program and paints for bae. And right after their respective weekend home games, Press ies out to PDX for Tobin’s birthday shebang. Tobin picks her up from the airport and takes her to her party and everything!

JUNE A couple of friendlies abroad happen but since Tobs is injured she’s off the roster but she does somehousewarming for Chris til she gets back from practicing on babysitting Cash. So after that, getting back into the swing of things in the NWSL is easy for Chris but unfortunately Tobin still can’t play so the next best thing is staying together in ChiTown to keep the blues away for like.... 2 weeks.

JULY ...Tobin’s still injured. But at least she has some fresh shoes (and expensive sliders)! And Press spends some time in LA to keep her company at rehab. Some people thought July was gonna be the first month we don’t get any content and Press personally makes sure it isn’t during the Chi vs Orl game on lifetime.

AUGUST We have a weird Tournament of Nations and it’s probably because Tobin’s back hasn’t resurrected yet but in the last game in LA, we get a rare sighting of a stud at training so maybe we’ve still got a shot. I mean I guess 2nd place in our own tournament isn’t so bad? Kinda? But whatever. What’s important is the roller blading that happens the days after. And then it’s time for CHIvsPOR. And after that, Tobin’s back in LA hanging out with Chris’ sister and bro-in-law at a bar because you know, they’re close or whatever.

SEPTEMBER Ok so it’s been quiet but it’s not because of anything crazy. They’ve just done better at the privacy thing. Good on them you know ? But anyway. They reunite in Colorado and Cincinnati.

OCTOBER The final regular season match is conveniently in Portland and unfortunately, they end up not playing each other in the semis so Chicago has to book a flight to NC but Chris still makes sure to enjoy her time. So after the uswnt game that Tobs has to sit out, the only time we have proof that Tobin is still alive is the Century 21 event in Arizona. Meanwhile Chris is back home with her pups in LA. But Tobs flies to get in on the puppy love but we only know through her shadow and when they turn into wine moms for a night.

NOVEMBER Fall this year is coming along quite nicely but not as nice as it is in Portland, probably, because there are Trainbows, says Chris! In Canada Chris serves some gross hearteyes despite the fact that Tobin’s been sidelined due to injury. They have the last game of the year in Cali and it kickstarts the swaggin they do together. And then November ends with a bang with them posting about flying to london for a red carpet event!

DECEMBER Said red carpet event is the annual Grassroot Soccer Gala. (And this time Tobin doesn’t go ghost!) And they just wander around taking good pictures and visiting friends and watching football! Thanks HAO! Thanks Crystal! And then they’re back to being Domestic!Preath canoodling in their LA loft by the beach, chillingand hangin out with friends and being Christmassy and such.

THE FOLLOWING IS NOT FROM SKATERTOBIN'S BLOG. IT'S FROM PREATH-THINGS

DECEMBER (CONT.) Christmas rolls around, and they end up going back to their respective fams, meeting back up in Portland some days later. They spend New Years eve snowboarding and just chilling in the snow with their friends. 👌

2018 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JANUARY New Years is spent in Portland going sledding, but they eventually head back down to California so Tobin can get her ankle fixed. January camp happens without Tobin. But it's fine because Christen and Tobin spend every other moment together, watching sunsets in the rain and Tobin's having a super duper good recovery. Christen finds a new club in the NWSL, surprise! After the friendly against Denmark, they're back to spending all their time together, holding water bottles and attending conferences.

FEBRUARY Tobin has a new job ! Modelling for the new Mercurials in London, whilst also showing off her piano skills, which Christen's obviously heard before with there being a keyboard and all hanging around at their places. Tobin continues her modelling career in LA because the shoes are orange so of course she would. Christen on the other-hand pays a quick visit to houston then reports to camp. Tobin's still out and not playing soccer because remember she's still trying out her modelling career.

MARCH The SheBelieves Cup happens. Or maybe it doesn't. Debatable, considering Christen is bascially nowhere to be found on the pitch, and there's little evidence of her even being at camp. Tobin's also too busy moving from her modelling career to her acting career to be there and play. The uswnt wins the cup somehow anyway. Christen goes back to Portland after the cup and it's a bit quiet but Tobin and Christen are spending some quality time together so isn't that really all that matters? Another surprise ! Christen doesn't want to be with her new NWSL club. So she's heading to Sweden to relive some good times instead, but not before flying kites with Tobin. Tobin also paints a few things inlcuing a 9 post equality sign because she's just that extra.

APRIL Christen returns to her happy place. 🇸🇪 She signs with Kopparbergs/Göteborg FC and scores goals, lots of them. To the absolute surprise of everyone (read: no one) she's named April player of the month in the Damallsvenskan! Tobin decides to put both her modelling and acting careers on hold in an attempt to try her luck at the soccer thing again. Also, being the supportive gal pals that they are, and separated by an ocean, they get into the habit of liking each others instagram posts every so often.

MAY There are pool parties, sea dips and visits to Norway for Christen, during all of which she proves she did in fact pack Tobin's entire closet, accessories and style before she left PDX. Still separated by an ocean, not really too much happens, other than each of them continuing to practice the liking option on each others instagram posts.

JUNE It's Pride Month 🌈 and Pride Month Delivers. Tobin is called up to national team camp for the first time since forever because her ankle seems to be a-okay, and Jill remembers Christen exists all of a sudden and also calls her up. Which means the two lovebirds finally get to reunite in Utah after months of being super long distance. This officially kicks off Pride month celebrations across the globe. Tobin feels 'tight' prior to the game and decides not to join in on the first Pride month celebration of the USWNT aka the first game against China, instead opting to chill and watch the game from the stands. After Tobin sees the Utah Royals owner get down on one knee in front of her girl, she decides it's time to remind the world that Christen is her's by posting a selfie with her and her gal pal. Christen seems to like the photo too and decides to also repost it because it's pride month after all and you gotta spread the love or something. And that's not the only thing she seems to like, deciding to swap clothes with her girl for their date to the Cavs game. Chris wears Tobin's Cavs jersey, like the traitor she is because apparently whilst it might be the wrong team, it's the right number (in other words words.. the things you do for love, and to wear something with the #23). Pride month continues to deliver with the second game against China and what better way to celebrate pride month by marking the game as Christen's 100th cap?!! Oh there are better ways, says the universe or something because Christen assists a goal in the first half, Tobin enters the match in the second half, and we are blessed with a pREATH GOALl!!! or alternatively a small game of keepy uppy between the two lovebirds which ends up with a ball at the back of the net and a Preath celebration we deserve, whichever you prefer to call it. Pride camp ends, but not before Chris makes sure to just leave one last mark on her time in Cleveland. After flying off together to Chi town, they go their separate ways and Chris returns to Sweden. But it seems that Pride month has one last piece of magic to make happen, and Christen's caught up in another big tangle of a messy trade within the NWSL, which lands her in Utah. A trade she accepts. She is now officially royalty. A queen. 👑 Soon after Chris arrives at her new club, Tobin takes a quick pit stop there on her way back from Houston, because obviously she gotta help her girl settle in to her new home away from home.

JULY So it’s the Fourth of July and the new royalty/royals, Chris and Sam decide it’s a great idea to celebrate it by buying food to grill even when neither of them know how to turn on a girl grill! Stuck on how to turn on the offending cooking appliance, Chris uses a lifeline and chooses to phone a (girl)friend. Grill Master Tobin pulls through and saves the day. Not that Christen wants anyone to know that Tobin did (gotta mute those instastories, you know?), but Sam does (thanks Sam!). At the same time, Laura decides to inform the world that Christen lives in Portland (thanks Laura!). The Battle of the Baes returns to Portland for 2018 and it ends with a hug and a kiss drinks back at home. Then it's back to Utah for Chris. The Tournament of Nations happens again and it’s not as weird as the previous year’s (probably because Tobin decides to join in this time around). To prepare for the games, Christen returns home to Portland so the two lovers can visit the Nike HQ, go berry picking and dream about pies. Gotta have that pre-camp preparation and relaxation at home with your SO, you know?! The first game of the tourney is against Japan, and it ends with a W and has Tobin subbing on for Christen. There’s shoulder rubs and hip taps and some airport shenanigans. Remember how Tobin was subbed on for Chris? Chris is subbed on for Tobin in the next game against Australia! It’s now completely apparent that Jill deems having both of them playing at the same time to be just Too Dangerous for opposing teams due to their ridiculous on and off the pitch chemistry. She’s clearly just sparing the opposition from a super embarrassing defeat. Good tactic. Chris’ fam comes to say hi in Connecticut 🖐️

AUGUST The tourney continues and there’s some team pictionary bonding prior to their final ToN game against Brazil. The Brazil game ends with a Tobin goal and assist, a win and a trophy, as the uswnt finally win the tourney!!!! Also, at this stage it's questionable whether the two are trying to be sneaky or not anymore with Chris throwing literal heart eyes at Tobin at the start of the game, and Tobin putting her arm around Chris' shoulder at the end. 🤷 After the ToN it’s back to their clubs and it’s a bit quiet, but I mean as to be expected. What’s not expected however is the shenanigans that happen prior to the NT's first Chile game back in Christen’s hometown. It’s CP's 100th cap celebration, and Tobin pOSTS her girl a congratulatory post ??? Picture, profile tag, emojis and all?? If you thought the girl would stop there with her public celebration of her bae's 100th cap celebration, you'd be d e a d w r o n g. Tobito also proudly wears Christen’s name on her back ??? somewhat earlier than anyone's anticipated ??? Chris has her ceremony, and Tobin literally has the proudest smile, which you could probably see from space— and it’s debatable whether a tear escapes her eyes during the ceremony, but who could blame her if one did?? So it’s game time and we finally get the long-awaited Captain Press, and it’s everything we could’ve dreamed of!!!! Truly spectacular. Tobin gifts Christen with a PK, which she perfectly finishes because she’s Chris. But there’s a big commotion and suddenly the goal doesn’t count???? Because the ref is apparently trying to ruin Chris’s day ??? and doesn’t know the rules of soccer like at all??? Tobin won’t hear of it obvs— leading the rest of the team as they storm up towards the ref with wagging fingers and pitchforks at halftime, whilst at the same time the Press Pack is up in arms. But it’s (semi) fine in the end because Chris gets another goal anyway (it's beautiful)— capping off the perfect night and a perfect victory in the most perfect place. ❤️❤️ Talking about perfect, both Chris and Tobs are also the most perfect human beings, donating their jerseys from the game to TWLOHA.

SEPTEMBER The second game against Chile only features Tobin, but before and after the game she’s wearing a t-shirt that looks strangely like a Supreme-branded shirt with the letters P R E S S spelled out ?? Anyways it's another victory for the team, and everyone eventually heads back to their clubs for the final week of regular season. Then it's postseason time, and Chris returns to Portland to train alone 👎, whilst Tobs is off training with her club. The Thorns play their semifinal game and get the W, obvs cheered on by Chris in the stands. Weirdly enough though, the NWSL championship game for 2k18 just..... never happens ????? Super strange. (Although if it did, Chris was once again there, cheering her girl on) Anyways the season's over, and another season begins— the offseason (aka the best season) where the love birds stroll the streets of Portland (probably holding hands or something cute) and get ready for camp. Although it looks like they might've received the wrong memo about what kind of camp they had coming up— as they end up in the wilderness of Oregon.. camping? And debatably skinny dipping? Who knows?! Is there actually a bikini strap around Tobs's neck? Who knows?! What we do know is that they only packed one suitcase, Christen's gone granola, and the two eventually head on out of there once they realize they're most definitely at the wrong camp— heading off to NC for the camp they were actually meant to be at.

OCTOBER It's World Cup Qualifiers time, and Chris and Tobs score some goals, Chris has suddenly grown a dragonfly on her arm, and sometime between their last uswnt game and the qualifiers, the two nerds have created their own little handshake— because Chris wanted in on the whole handshake club (who could blame her tbh). So the uswnt qualify for the world cup (!!!!!), and the love birds go and celebrate by showing off their Spanish 101 knowledge in Mexico, and literally murdering everyone by posting photos from their beach and infinity pool photoshoots ??? Like cool, it's not like we were trying to live or anything, right ?? Nah. Oh yeah they're also not being subtle about the fact they're in literally the same place either. But you know what, subtle schmutle thinks Chris, as she posts a boomerang of Tobs and her at tees + jeans like it's like no big deal you know like, whatever. They head to pdx to stand in the fall leaves and take more photos of each other.

NOVEMBER So there’s a couple USWNT friendlies abroad which Tobs and Chris don’t join in on due to personal and family commitments (respectively), but it's okay (kinda) because they instead visit an art museum together— fitting right in as the works of art that they are. Oh yeah Tobin seems to be the newest Royals signing? and she's also number 21. Tobs and Chris have a New York minuteweek— jumping into ball pits and casually posting an instastory of themselves together, because obvs it's nbd. They also spend some quality time around thanksgiving with Tobin's fam.

DECEMBER The two head back west and drop by stubhub to give some inspirational pep talk to some young athletes at Nike’s, Play Like a Pro thing and also so Pressy can grand marshal the PV Christmas lights parade ! They also do some toca training, lab visiting, sunset watching, more training/testing and family photo taking. So they basically spend a whole lotta time together— training and being cute and shit ❤️️❤️. They might've headed to Florida also during this time but no one's 100% sure, and it's all a bit of guesswork and squinting. Whatever the case, they were together during most of month because offseason means, barely leaving the bae's side season, until Christmas that is— where they go their separate ways for a couple days. But then it’s Pressy’s birthday aka Christmas 2.0, so Tobs jets back to the west coast to join in on the celebrations, because obviously the best/most important present is Tobin's presence, duh. So they're finally back together in the west coast for the remaining days of 2018, and they finish the year by watching sunsets off rooftops, and preparing to see in the new year together. 💕

THE FOLLOWING IS WHEN PREATHBAR (ME) TOOK OVER.

2019 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JANUARY It’s 2019! Tobin and Christen ring in the new year much like they ended the last one. They play some beach volleyball, To(es)bin watches some premier league, they continue training, Chris gets lost in LA, makes sure we know she’s feeding Tobin, and finally, they watch the last sunset in LAfor two weeks😂 lol. Before the fun of camp can start, they get delayed at the airport AND TOBIN ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES CHRISTEN’S EXISTENCE. It’s fine. We’re all okay from that. (Also Tobin has some Tibetan prayer beads on?) Christen tells us you can’t mess with her zen and they eventually make it to January Camp in Portugal. Because they can’t live without a sunset, they find some (arguably better) ones on a beach in Portugal. Jan Camp finishes up and as luck would have it the whole team gets delayed this time and Tobin passes the time by playing Mario Kart. The orange and pink Kånken bags make a reappearance and of course, Tobes and Chris are airplane buddies. They arrive in Le Havre, France and everyone is still blissfully ignorant about the future events. Apparently, Tobin took a knock during camp and is held out of the first game on precaution so it is CP vs France. Literally and figuratively. The game against France goes very well, and we’re all so glad THAT game was the one on the weekend. After that *ahem* rough, game it’s time to move on and the team makes their way to Alicante, Spain where Tobes and Chris enjoy a day out and about. Tobin seems to have recovered and gets a start against Spain, CP doesn’t, but after a 0-0 first half, Jill decides to sub her in and SHE SCORES A FREAKING (GAMEWINNING) GOAL. The wives only get to play together for 20ish minutes, but we are treated to plenty of Preath content during and after the game. First, there’s the goal celebration that includes a Tobes head pat and a wink from the one and only Christen Press 😉. At halftime, there’s some hand holding glove holding, but after the game we witnessed a to a PreathTackle™ via Tobin Heath. She’s just so proud of her girl she can hardly contain her emotions (and we can’t either 😭). They return to LA after the madness in Europe just in time to catch a sunrise.

FEBRUARY So very early on into the month, Tobin literally comes out of the blue with her “The Ones” interview while promoting the new Air Jordans, and let me tell you, the photos were anything but chill. The go on a little daytime date 💙 and Christen shows off her many rings. After that, Christen decides to prove that Tobin’s not the only model in the family and hits us with the behind-the-scenes of her photoshoot with localemagazine. Stay tuned until May for our Covergirl. Shortly, our family of models decides to return to their day jobs and attend camp in Tampa, FL for the She Believes Cup. They can’t help but be attached at the hip while they’re there (and we’re not complaining). The team makes their way to Philly and Tobin, Chris, and Ash go on a little stroll where Preath proves, yet again, that they exist in the same universe. USWNT vs Japan is first up and again, Christen comes off the bench and makes an immediate impact with an assist, giving the US the lead. She also gets smacked in the face but it's okay because Tobes makes sure to check up on her. We also definitely win the game and don’t waste all that work CP did by letting them tie it up.

MARCH After the performance against Japan, the team sets their sights to England at camp. To celebrate the “SheBelieves spirit” they all wear the name of an inspirational woman of their choosing on their backs. Christen chooses the unproblematic fave of Sojourner Truth and Tobin chooses Doris Burke, who was very moved by the gesture. Before the game, Christen gives Tobin her stick of gum bc CP still isn’t starting. Unfortunately, the team seems to play as if they are the names on their back and tie. AGAIN. Maybe it was just the cold because Tobes and Chris almost miss the plane back to sunny Florida, but after quickly boarding the gayng gets to sit together. With one more game left, it looks almost impossible for the US to win the tournament, AND WE DON’T, but we manage to win our last game 1-0 with a goal by the one and only Tobin Heath. Unfortunately, it’s now Chris’ turn to make sure Tobin is okay after a hard foul. Before we take a break from the USWNT for a little while, the World Cup kits are announced with a plethora of promotion. Tobin and Christen both return to their club teams and Tobin does some more promotion for the Thorn’s new kits and sixstar. Christen returns to LA to play some preseason games with Utah and while she’s there she is reunited with Morena and Khalessi. CP is announced as the honorary falconer for the LAFC game and reminds us that if the animal isn’t a dog, she’s slightly intimidated. Tobin also plays a preseason game for Portland and apparently tears it up, but her time with the Thorns is cut short when they both re-port for camp and are re-united for the April Friendlies.

APRIL Camp slowly starts to wind down as the upcoming friendlies draw closer, but not before some exciting news. LUNA Bar announces on equal payday that they will cover the World Cup roster bonus pay gap for the entire US Women’s National Team! It is revealed that Christen was one of the “chief architects of the team’s current collective bargaining agreement” and she reminds us how smart and beautiful she is in several different interviews. Then, we are provided with an amazing picture that only confirms that Tobin and Christen are bus buddies (in case we somehow forgot). Press is not only smart and beautiful, but she’s also talented at this game of soccer and helps the team win over Australia in an overly dramatic sort-of way. Tobin notches a goal over Australia, but she doesn’t get any minutes against Belgium. CP, however, plays a full 90 minutes and provides 3 assists off of set pieces!!! Nobody seems to notice though. After two successful friendlies with the National Team, they return to play their first (and last for awhile) games for their NWSL teams. Tobin earns POTY with the Portland Thorns and later, an absolutely wild game is played against Chicago. Meanwhile, Press proves what a class act she is in Utah and notches an assist in her first game and then a goal in the second. Just as they start to settle in, we all sadly realize they have to leave their club teams, even though we STILL don’t have a WC roster, but we do get a bunch of amazing gifs. After her game in Orlando, Christen stays a while in Miami where she shows us her coconuts and does lots of promo before we finally get the announcement we were all patiently waiting for. HuLU hAS LivE spOrTS!

MAY On the first of the month, Tobes and Chris are spotted at the Hulu Upfronts with several other soccer players, looking as gorgeous as ever. Eventually, after virtually the entire roster being known beforehand, USsoccer drops the 2019 Women’s World Cup Roster and Tobin Heath is going to her third World Cup while Christen Press is going to her second, but they’re doing it together this time. With the announcement of the roster, everyone heads to camp before the last of the send-off series games. (Oh and also there’s an incident with Tobin in a button up and her shoulder but whatever. It’s fine.) Remember that “re-” thing Tobin, Christen, Pinoe, and Kling kept teasing/we thought it was an inside joke? Well, it turns Rɘ-inc is an entire company the ladies are starting and they strive to rɘ-imagine rɘ-invent rɘ-configure, and rɘ-volt (to name a few). They are set to launch June 2017 2019 and we can only hope to be blessed with more photos of Tobin wearing... boxers? The first friendly is played against South Africa, and Tobin and Chris actually get to start together, but still, a preath-goal alluded them the entire game. Do you remember back in February when we saw the behind-the-scenes of CP’s shoot with localemagzine? Well now it’s May and Christen is officially a cover girl and I swear they’re all trying to kill us before the World Cup because no one should be allowed to look that hot, but it's Christen so why are we surprised? The penultimate send-off game against New Zealand goes off with little fan-fare (but the girls do notch goals and/or assists). The team seems to have the weekend off before playing their last game and of course, Tobin and Christen return to Portland and decide to watch the Blazers play the Warriors in the Conference finals. How do we know they were at the game? I mean, other than the fact the CP posted a story on Instagram about Nike making Tobes’ dreams come true you could LITERALLY SEE THEM ON LIVE TV BC THEY HAD SECOND ROW FLOOR SEATS BEHIND THE BENCH. Let’s just say we all suddenly cared a lot about basketball that night. A few days later the USWNT heads to New York, is surprised in time square (where T&C are bus buddies, duh), attends GMA, and has Media Day at Twitter’s headquarters. It was a content overload. We never get a break either because few days after that they play their last send-off series game against Mexico and guess what; Tobin and Christen BOTH SCORE (goals)!!! Most would think that having an afternoon game means that the rest of the day is for relaxing and recovery… well, you’d be wrong. Apparently, it’s time for the launch party of Rɘ-Inc and Christen is wearing a Suit. I repeat a Suit at the party and Tobin is wearing a black dress. They both looked absolutely incredible. Rɘ-inc provides us with a lot of amazing content throughout the month. It’s a quick turn around again and the NT now makes their way to London for their final training before the World Cup starts. It’s also Tobin’s 31st birthday and we all hoped and prayed that Christen would post something for it and luckily, she didn’t disappoint.

JUNE It’s officially World Cup Time, but not before a little camp and because the US plays last there’s still time for them to release their 23 stories even after the tournament has officially started. And since we’ve got the time, ESPN announces that Tobin Heath will be profiled on their next E60 special. Tobin finally opens up about… playing soccer… and also her family. In the end, the whole interview makes us love Aunty To-To even more (if that’s even possible) and the unredacted interviews in a podcast are definitely worth the listen. As the last game of the first round of group stage games commences, the USA finally gets their chance to shine, and in a historic 13-0 win against Thailand, boy do they make a controversial statement. Christen notches an assist after she’s subbed in for Tobin because they would be too powerful together on the field. After a few days of rest (and being caught on a live stream with their arms around each other), they play their next game against Chile and while they don’t win 13-0 (which is mostly because Christen gets denied so many times) 3-0 qualifies them for the round of 16. Next up is Sweden and they win 2-0 where Tobin even scores a goal! (Fifa says it’s an own goal but there are lots of things we don’t like about Fifa). Getting first in the group means Spain is our Round of 16 opponent and after a bit of suffering, and Christen’s 2 whole minutes of play time, we win 2-1. Then, it was time for the most anticipated match of the World Cup. A quarterfinal between the USA and France in Paris. SPOILER ALERT: WE WON MOTHERFUCKERS and we even got an adorable hug afterward. Tobin scored ANOTHER GOAL but Fifa is plotting against her and it was called offsides. Now a semifinal versus England awaits.

JULY So… I don’t even know where to begin with this absolutely crazy month. All I can say is... you’re not ready. Guess what! Christen got the start against England and silenced all her skeptics in the 10th minute when she scored a beautiful header! After falling to the ground in pure emotion, Tobin basically nuzzled her head into Chris’s neck in celebration and it was an absolutely beautiful moment for many reasons. The US went on to win and the final would be the USWNT vs the Netherlands. After waiting a little longer to score than usual, THE UNITED STATES WOMEN’S NATIONAL SOCCER TEAM WAS BACK TO BACK, 4-TIME, WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS!!!! TOBIN HEATH AND CHRISTEN PRESS ARE TWO TIME WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS! Tobin ran straight to Christen after the final whistle because they did it together this time. That’s not all though, during the trophy presentation, in the midst of everyone else’s celebration, Tobin looked and Christen and Christen looked at Tobin and they hugged and basically recreated the iconic photo from 4 years ago and I’M STILL NOT OVER IT AND I WILL NEVER BE AND YOU SHOULDN’T BE EITHER. THEN, after ALL of that, T&C decided to go lay in the confetti together and Christen adorably let Tobin throw confetti all over her and I STILL CAN’T. Not to even MENTION the baby Tobin collected and showed to Chris because they’re so domestic™ before Chris decided to adjust Tobin’s medal because they’re also soft™. The real celebration began afterward in the locker room and a lot of alcohol was consumed, but all Chris was worried about was keeping her hair dry with a little blue towel. The next day, after a transatlantic flight and us wondering how they’re going to survive, the team arrived in New York City and the party's just getting started because the day after that the entire team is a guest on Good Morning America. We’re not done yet because the NEXT morning a ticker tape parade through the Canyon of Heroes awaits them (don’t worry, they were on the same float) before a cross-continental flight to LA just in time for the ESPYS (Tobin is apparently dragged, but it was fun). Tobin looks way too damn good in christen’s her v-neck suit, even though her shoe/sunglasses choice was questionable. Christen blessed us with a yellow v-neck suit and both girls were truly “stuntin” on us. THEN THE DAY WE F U C K I N G DIED!!! I’m not even joking. It started out innocent enough (which it really wasn’t but whatever). Christen posted of photo of JUST them together on the float and captioned it “blissful and grateful”. It was already more than we asked for but THEN she started posting pictures of JUST them at the ESPYS on her story and by this point we were already not OKAY. THEN Tobin decided she wasn’t PLAYING AROUND and posted pictures of JUST them on the red carpet and THEN THAT FUCKING VIDEO. T H E STORY TO END ALL INSTA STORIES. What was the video, you ask? Well, what are the New Chicago Bulls Fire J1s… from Travis Scott? Did you see them? How did she get those they’re not even released yet? Watch at your own risk. Finally, both girls decide to decompress and took mini vacay to Los Cabos because why not, you’re world cup champions, and after re-freshing they both fly home to Portland. Of course,their first game back in the NWSL is against each other because only the most chaotic energy is allowed this month. Christen scores the eventual GOTW but the game ends in a tie. Not to worry though because the next week Tobin notches two beautiful assists in the homecoming game against Houston and Christen produces another beautiful GOTW in a game that Tobin attends wearing while wearing a #23 snapback. They really refuse to be separated for more than a few days. Then, as it turns out, they both head back to Portland proving that Tobin’s excursion to Utah really was extra™ and we can only hope we’ll never come down from this content high.

AUGUST Just when we thought we were spoiled by world cup content, the girls decided they’re not done yet and we’re blessed with a TC goal during the first of the Victory Tour games versus Republic of Ireland (foreshadowing: it’s not the first of the month). Christen serves a lovely ball right to Tobin’s head and they were sure to hug adorably in celebration. Before heading back to their clubs, Re-inc hosts an event called ResetTheTable, which is basically a dinner party filled with beautiful people (in body and mind). After returning to Utah Christen scores a brace in a midweek game and helps win another so NWSL rightfully makes her Player of the Week. Then, CP heads to NYC to appear on morning talk shows to educate us about the USWNT lawsuit while looking absolutely stunning. In their last club games before international break, Christen gets another goal, and wins GOTW for the third time, and Tobin’s assists continue to grow (it probably helps that Chris goes to watch her). Their travel has been extra™ this month but it’s what you do for love. Finally, they both head to Philly for campbefore playing against Portugal and we get ANOTHER TC GOAL. Christen is getting really good at assisting Tobes.

SEPTEMBER The second round of victory tour games conclude at the beginning of the month, but Tobes and Chris are pretty adorable at open training before their second win over Portugal. Oh, Christen gets another assist so her total for 2019 is up to… 11! (that’s the leader of the national team). Then, it’s time for Battle of the Baes 2.0 and this time Christen comes out on top. Tobin ends up winning GOTW on week 23… hmm… and the Thorns clinch a playoff spot. Unfortunately, even with Christen’s header, Utah misses out again.

OCTOBER After celebrating their 2019 Women’s World Cup win one more time, the victory tour games conclude in with a pair of games against South Korea. The first one is pretty uneventful, and so is the second (except for the sendoff). Tobin and Chris return to their clubs to play their last nwsl games of the season and the Thorns move on to the postseason. They face Chicago first and find themselves out of the championship game. However, Chris doesn’t seem to mind and makes her way to Portland pretty soon after. Something with re-inc seems to be brewing, but the end of the month marks the beginning of the offseason (after they play two friendlies in November, of course).

NOVEMBER The girls report to camp for the final time this year and everyone seems to be ready for the end of quite an incredible year but also new beginnings with a new coach. Christen and Tobin get a start against Sweden and Christen records another assist and her 50TH INTERNATIONAL GOAL!!! (Tobin may or may not fall to her knees again but that’s not important). Then, we get a TC hug and Tobin gets an assist of her own. Even after playing a game in freezing temperatures they still manage to both look adorably bundled after. The next game is even more fun than the first because Christen scores ANOTHER GOAL and we get ANOTHER TC HUG and to cap it all off we get CAPTAIN TOBIN. That’s right, CAPTAIN TOBIN (we almost got captain Christen but it’s okay). We were just barely coming down from that emotional high when the next night Pinoe brings the entire Gayng to the Glamour Awards. Tobin and Christen had a black and white moment and all I’m saying is they looked the best dressed. Re-inc launched their RWB collection and Tobin was the designer while Christen was a model. Then, Tobin decided to also be a model but in… Africa? That’s right, T and C went to South Africa for Grass Roots Soccer and they also enjoyed a safari or two before heading to London for the GRS Gala. Christen looked absolutely stunning (as always) at the event and there was no doubt that Tobin was there to support her. The holiday season has begun and at the end of the month, the girls went their separate ways to spend Thanksgiving with their families. The break was much needed and I’m sure they’re looking forward to an entire month off.

DECEMBER Tobin and Christen enjoyed their month off by staying pretty quiet, but they did enjoy a snowy vacation towards the end of the month. Then, it was Christmas time and it seemed like a lot of gifts were from Tobin + Christen. Before CP’s bday could happen, they had to attend the WoSo Royal Wedding. They both looked stunning and it was just an unbelievable night in general. Finally, Christen celebrated her 31st birthday right before the decade came to an end. What a truly amazing year.

2020

JANUARY It’s the beginning of a new year and the end of the offseason, but it was still pretty quiet until the very end of the month. January Camp in Florida began in the middle of the month and didn’t stop for the 20 players named to the Olympic Qualifying roster. Obviously Tobin and Christen were and the team relocated to Texas to prepare for their group stage games of Olympic Qualifying.(Also re inc had another reset the table event). Christen started the first game against Haiti and scored a goal in the 2nd minute… talk about starting the year off with a bang. CP was also named the player of the match and she honestly seemed like she was the only one who wasn’t shaking off the rust. Unfortunately, Tobin missed out on the first game due to a slight strain but she was back in action against Panama. She even scored a no-look goal and didn’t think we would notice. Christen also added to her goal total and has now scored in 4 straight games. With two wins in their group the USWNT has secured their spot in the semifinals and are one step closer to qualifying for the Olympics.

FEBRUARY Olympic Qualifying carried over into February and so did Christen’s goal scoring. CP scored two goals in the USWNT’s last group stage game against Costa Rica. The first goal she scored that game was an absolute banger and was eventually named the goal of the tournament. Also, Christen was named player of the match for the SECOND TIME of the tournament. The goal-scoring didn’t stop because she scored another banger against Mexico after jumping on her own rebound. There was no way that ball wasn’t going in the back of the net. After all of this scoring and player of the match wins Christen was rightfully named best player of the entire CONCACAF tournament. She was absolutely glowing with her golden ball trophy before she gave it to her father (who was more than appreciative). Tobin was also feeling generous and gave her first place medal to a fan in the crowd (I guess that’s allowed?). After successfully qualifying for the olympics and remaining reigning CONCACAF champions, everyone had a slight break before training for the She Believes Cup began. Tobin and Christen were named to the roster, but before training could begin the gals had a photoshoot in the brand new olympic kits. I’m not saying Christen decided to debut her new engaygment ring at said photoshoot but I’m not not saying that. (Good job Tobin ;) ) It’s definitely not the offseason anymore and on February 29th, we were all leaping for joy that training camp had resumed in Florida.

MARCH The whole gayng got to be aunties to Cassius in Florida during camp and apparently it was good luck because the USWNT won their first game in the She Believes Cup against England. It was definitely thanks to Christen’s absolute GOLAZO (the only thing she’s allowed to score against England). CHRISTEN PRESS what have you DONE. The USWNT didn’t stop and neither did Christen because in the next gain against Spain she assisted the winning goal in the 86th minute off a free kick. Christen and Tobin BOTH started against Japan and Christen was even at the number nine spot. Brownsuganumba9 lives on. It must’ve been an amazing position for her (who knew) because she scored another GOLAZO against Japan. It chipped the keeper and it was honestly filthy. CHRISTEN PRESS what did you DO. The USWNT won the She Believes Cup, but are still fighting the equal pay lawsuit against ussoccer. During the warm up of the final game of the tournament they all wore jerseys inside out to display the now iconic symbol of four stars with a blank crest. They’re in this together. Just as the USWNT played their last game, the entire world entered a quarantine. Everyone went home and it’s unclear when anyone will return to the field for club or country. However, in the midst of quarantine, there was a Surprise: Snow Storm! and Re-inc launched their posters. It has also allowed CEO Christen and the rest of the Re-inc team to start doing instagram lives in order to interact with fans. We’re in this together.

APRIL This month began like the last one ended, still in quarantine, but that didn’t stop Re-inc from launching their BW capsule collection, but before that an absolutely INCREDIBLE photo was taken and it's pretty much the only major thing that happened this month. Thank you Miss Tobin Heath. However, all of the re-inc founders have been a lot more active on the account (probably because soccer is momentarily paused for right now). Christen found a Stacy plant and remembrance candle along with other plants for the rest of her fam. Tobin and Christen are most definitely quarantining in Portland together and will be for a while.

#preath timeline

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fortunatelylori · 5 years

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Oh, the Jonsa of it all!

Jonsa is a puzzle. Anyone who has ever started shipping these two at any point in time since about 100.000 years ago when this show started, knows that. It’s all about digging for clues, starring at gifs for unhealthy amounts of time, comparing and dissecting until your brain turns to mush. Not that I’m complaining ... I love that shit.

But, to be honest, I’ve been wrecking my brain to come up with a cohesive explanation for Jon and Sansa’s reactions to each other in this episode that does not include some sort of romantic subtext and I just can’t avoid adding one.

That’s because Sansa looks desolate through most of this episode and Jon is taking everything Sansa does extremely personally, even though when you analyze the scenes, you can see that Sansa at no point goes against him. She’s snarky and cold towards D*ny. She challenges Tyrion both in the Great Hall scene and in their one on one scene. And yet it’s Jon that ends up feeling the most hurt by her actions.

Unless we introduce the explanation of the unspoken tension of romantic feelings, I just don’t see why he would be so affected by what she does in this episode as well as feel the need to mention her to third parties.

For Sansa’s part, while I loved her snarky remarks , it does feel very odd to me that she wouldn’t hide her emotions better and pretend to be on board with D*ny’s presence in her home. Sansa has already danced this dance plenty of times: with Joffrey and Cersei, with Littlefinger and Lysa, as well as with the Knights of the Vale and the Boltons.

She knows how to play the whole “conceal, don’t fell, don’t let it show” game and yet when faced with D*ny, who would fall for that kind of trick far more easily than Cersei or Littlefinger, she can’t do it. Unless I speculate that Sansa isn’t as in control of her emotions around D*ny because of her romantic feelings for Jon, I can’t really reconcile these reactions with the girl that at 13 managed to keep her feelings in check though out most of her stay in King’s Landing.

The “Honey, I’m home!” scene:

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There’s a couple of things that make this scene interesting from a Jonsa perspective:

The first one is that they actually cut the Jon/Sansa reunion differently from the footage we were shown in the teasers:

(gifs by @stark)

From the scene in the episode and the shots from the teaser, it becomes obvious that they cut out the close-up of Jon’s face as he approaches Sansa.

They have also cut the medium shot of Jon looking at Sansa when she greats D*ny:

and replaced it with a shot of just D*ny reacting to Sansa’s frosty reception:

The question is why? While there might be a host of different explanations having to do with how the scene was set up, blocking or trying to focus in on the emerging conflict between Sansa and D*ny, one thing these exclusions do is that they make Jon and Sansa’s reunion less romantic and far more ambiguous because we don’t get as much access to Jon’s reactions and state of mind.

We don’t see Jon starring at Sansa as he walks into her open arms like a love starved fool. We also don’t get to see that through out the whole of Sansa and D*ny’s interaction, all of Jon’s attention is directly on Sansa and not on the woman he’s spent the last however many weeks having earth shatteringly boring sex with.

It’s also interesting that they chose not to replace these shots with, let’s say, less romantically charged looks from Jon but rather they just cut them out, which in turn just amps the ambiguity factor, as opposed to put to rest the possible romantic subtext. This plays into the whole of the episode where the choice of not focusing in on Jon’s non-verbal reactions keeps Jon’s POV hidden from the viewer.

The other interesting thing about this scene is how Sophie Turner chooses to react to greeting Jon as opposed to greeting D*ny. This is how she looks at Jon:

We know from the beginning of the episode that Sansa is not happy. She’s actually downright sad:

And you can see that same emotion being echoed here as she looks at Jon hugging Bran. However the moment Jon looks at her, she can’t help but smile a little. It’s a shy but warm smile and it makes me feel like perhaps she can’t really help it. It sort of just comes out because, as we know from season 7, despite her frustrations with him, Sansa missed Jon very much.

It also can’t really be a polite or for show reaction because Sansa ain’t about that life in this episode as we can clearly see by the way she greets D*ny:

So, in just a few seconds, Sansa has made two things abundantly clear: while she’s apprehensive, she’s genuinely happy to see Jon and she hates D*ny’s guts.

Which in turn should raise questions. If Sansa’s animosity towards D*ny is strictly political, than surely the same type of animosity would be directed at Jon as well seeing as he’s the one that brought her to Sansa’s home in the first place.

One thing that I was struck by watching this scene is just how awkward it is. In the Jonsa fandom we have speculated that it was going to be awkward because of the teaser shots of Jon looking at Sansa and them hugging for what felt like an eternity while D*ny looked on from afar. However, since they excluded that shot, the hug itself doesn’t feel that odd.

However, Jon makes sure to turn this whole simple procedure uncomfortable for seemingly no reason. All he has to do is introduce his sister to the queen:

Jon: Queen Daenerys of House Targareyen. My sister, Sansa Stark, the Lady of Winterfell.

Seems simple enough ... why, then, the long pause after saying “Sansa Stark”? Why the bowing of the head and all the fidgeting?

Since Jon’s POV is hidden, there is no conclusive answer to this. Instead, I propose a little mental exercise:

Let’s say that you’re in love with someone ... Someone you’re not really supposed to be in love with. Let’s also say that, for whatever reason, you decide to start a relationship with someone else. At some point, these two people in your life are forced to meet and you have to introduce them:

(gifs by @athimbleful)

How much would you be shitting your pants that your partner is going to figure out you’re in love with your sister/cousin/light of your life/air in your lungs/sole reason for your existence?

The “Threesome” scene:

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Can I just get “love triangle” for 100, please?

(gifs by @arin-arryn)

Honestly, they’re not even being subtle anymore. This whole scene is blocked as a visual love triangle and this interaction, in particular, is interesting because the whole conversation regarding the dragons diets was sparked by Tyrion. The logical way of setting up this scene would have been for Sansa and D*ny’s shots to be combined with a shot of Tyrion. Instead, we get this medium shot where the focus just shifts between Sansa and D*ny, while Jon sits in the middle trying desperately not to kill himself.

Another important aspect is Jon’s tense conversation with Lyanna Stark, which starts with Jon instinctively looking at Sansa for whatever reason:

This has become a bit of a trend with Jon, with the first time he did it being at the end of season 6 when he was proclaimed King in the North. He does it again in this episode in the first scene they have together after Bran “reality check” Stark decides to unload the glorious news of the wall falling and the Night King having a dragon.

In both of these two scenes, it would have made a lot more sense for Jon to look at D*ny in these tense moments. In the first one because D*ny has just found out that her beloved “child” is now a zombie and also because Jon and D*ny lived through the wight hunt together.

In the Great Hall scene, romantically, it would make sense for him to look to the woman he loves, seeking emotional support. So I guess, scratch that. Jon is looking in the right direction after all.

The fact that Sansa refuses to offer him that support and his conversation with Lyanna Mormont:

Lyanna: Your Grace? But you’re not, are you? You left Winterfell a king and came back a … I’m not sure what you are now. A lord? Nothing at all?

Jon: It’s not important.

leaves Jon momentarily looking like this:

I’m not a gif-er but there is a subtle change of expression from his “It’s not important” smile to this that has Jon’s eyes going cold really fast. It looks like he’s reeling and angry but he conceals it very quickly. If someone has a gif of this, I’d love to see it.

This doesn’t get a pay-off here but actually becomes significant later on in the episode as we’ll see in the following two scenes:

The Jon/Arya reunion or as, I like to call it, the “deadbeat dad” scene

Fun fact: in my Jonsa fic, I actually had Jon mention Sansa in his first private conversation with Arya. The reason why I made that choice was because I wanted to firstly highlight the difference between the way Jon approaches Arya and the way he approaches Sansa and secondly because it’s an easy way of telegraphing to the audience that despite Jon’s outward behavior, Sansa is very much in his thoughts.

So maybe I’m being biased here but the fact that the writers chose to do the same thing tells me they’re approaching this from a very similar mindset.

I’m not going to lie. I didn’t particularly like that Jon felt the need to try to gain an ally against Sansa in Arya. It felt as if I was watching a father trying to antagonize his kid against her mother, which is such a low thing to do.

However, if you judge Jon’s lines within the context of the Great Hall scene, it does change the perception of where Jon is coming from, for me at least.

Jon: Where were you before? I could have used your help with Sansa.

Could he have though? I mean, was Sansa really Jon’s biggest problem in the Great Hall scene? Because from where I was standing it was Lyanna Mormont that decided to rip Jon a new one, not Sansa. Sansa’s conflict was with D*ny, not Jon.

Arya: I’m defending my family. So is she.

Jon: I’m her family too.

Aaaaa .... so Jon came out of that meeting completely stepping over the fact that his vassal called him “nothing at all” and proceeded to sulk in front of a heart tree because Sansa gave him a non-supportive look and made no attempt to defend him. That, for whatever reason, was the biggest takeaway from that meeting for him.

A takeaway that plays straight into Jon’s biggest insecurity when it comes to Sansa: that despite everything they’ve been through, despite the cloak she made for him or telling him he’s a Stark to her, she doesn’t truly care for him or consider him part of the pack which leads us to:

D*ny: Your sister doesn’t like me.

Jon: She doesn’t know you. If it makes you feel any better, she didn’t like me either when we were growing up.

I mentioned in my J0nereys meta that Jon sharing this with D*ny stung when I first heard it in the scene. Of course there’s multiple things going on in this conversation, not least of which that Jon seems to be trying desperately to make sure D*ny doesn’t turn her love of a good emolation on Sansa.

However, when looking at Jon’s conversation with Arya, doesn’t this line feel like it’s coming from the same place of insecurity for Jon? What else can Jon base his fear that Sansa doesn’t consider him family but on their fraught relationship as children? She’s given him absolutely no reason to believe that since they’ve been reunited. So, rather than this being proof that Jon holds a grudge for baby Sansa, it feels more like he’s resurrected their childhood distant relationship in order to drive himself nuts with worry that she doesn’t care about him anymore.

Can I get an awwww, everyone?

There’s also another strange parallel between these two scenes that I want to briefly touch upon.

In the Jon/Arya scene, Jon says this:

Arya: She doesn’t like your queen, does she?

Jon: Sansa thinks she’s smarter than everyone.

Why would Jon say that? We know from season 7 that Jon thinks Sansa is smart so it feels OOC for him to disparage her intellect. Also, if this was him being angry that Sansa was mean to his lady love, why didn’t he burst out into a rant about just how amazing D*ny is and how unfair Sansa’s treatment of her is?

I think this Jon line is there for two reasons: the first is to signal Jon’s concern that Sansa antagonizing D*ny might result in either Sansa or someone Jon cares about getting hurt and secondly as foreshadowing for someone outplaying Sansa. I don’t want to read “kidnapping plot” into every scene but this line feels pretty ominous to me.

As does the fact that the creators made a point of including a shot of Alys Karstark in the beginning of the Varys/Davos/Tyrion scene. There was no reason for that to be there unless to establish a future plot point and who else could that plot point be about but Sansa?

The “what is this fight really about” scene:

youtube

This scene is less than 2 minutes long and there’s so much going on here, that it’s difficult to know where to start.

So I suppose we should start with the opening shot:

I find it supremely interesting that for their one on one scene, the writers chose to open it with Sansa reading a scroll. When’s the last time Sansa read a scroll on screen?

youtube

Oh, that’s right! The scene where this happened:

Littlefinger: I’ve heard gossip that the dragon queen is quite beautiful.

Sansa: What does that have to do with anything?

Littlefinger: Jon is young and unmarried. Daenerys is young and unmarried.

This conversation that Sansa and Littlefinger had in season 7, ends up informing the entire Jon and Sansa scene, even though the point that Littlefinger was trying to make is that because Jon and D*ny would be difficult to defeat together, Sansa should unseat Jon as King and take the crown for herself.

The whole unseating of Jon by Sansa is never brought up in this conversation.

Instead, Jon proceeds to unload his anger at Sansa’s lack of enthusiasm for his successful work trip:

Jon: I brought two armies with me. Two dragons.

Sansa: And a Tragareyen queen.

Now, if they didn’t want me to read jealousy in Sansa turning around and flinging the word “queen” at Jon, they could have replaced it with something more neutral, such as:

Sansa: And no crown.

Sansa: And a new Southern ruler.

Or any other number of things.

However Jon doesn’t understand the distinction so he keeps pushing his “there is only one war that matters” speech:

Jon: Do you think we can beat the army of the dead without her? I fought them, Sansa. Twice. You want to worry about who holds what title. I’m telling you it doesn’t matter. Without her, we don’t stand a chance.

Jon might think that the problem of the titles is what’s really bothering Sansa but, considering we’ve already established that this scene is framed around the potential romantic entanglement between Jon and D*ny, I think this face that Sansa makes:

has more to do with Jon going on about how they’ll all be dead without D*ny and how she might interpret that as Jon being in love with her. Now, looking at Sansa’s face, the pain of that thought is pretty evident.

Luckily, Jon stops himself before Sansa jumps out a window and instead hits her with:

Jon: Do you have any faith in me at all?

Coming back to that scroll, Jon seems to be unaware of the fact that the only thing he’s offered in the form of an explanation for him bending the knee prior to this conversation was:

Cersei Lannister has pledged her forces to our cause, as has Daenerys Targaryen. And if we survive this war, I have pledged our forces to Daenerys at the rightful Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. We are both coming to organise the defence of the realm.

So his anger at Sansa’s bitterness seems rather misplaced. In normal circumstances, it would be perfectly normal for Sansa to tell him that. Instead we get this:

It’s official, ladies and gentlemen! Jon Snow has a superpower! And that superpower is called: puppy dog eyes! In this episode, Sansa Stark has faced off against the Mother of Dragons, brushed aside Tyrion Lannister but has been thwarted by Jon’s warm, chocolately gaze and completely forgot why she was pissed off with him in the first place.

However, Jon being Jon, decides to remind her with this gem:

Jon: She’ll be a good queen. For all of us. She’s not her father.

Aside from having a superpower, Jon also has his own version of kryptonite and that’s called: being an utter and complete moron.

As far as defenses of your heart’s desire go, that was one lame ass attempt. However, when you’re a woman in love, it sounds like the end of the world and looks something like this:

How does Jon respond to this attack on the character of his “beloved”?

Makes sense ... I mean if someone compared the love of my life with a better looking version of Hitler, I’d be giggling too. Which prompts Sansa to finally say what’s on her mind.

Considering how this episode played out, they could have had Sansa go back to the food question and ask Jon if being a good ruler does perhaps involve figuring out a way to feed your people. Or perhaps challenge him on what D*ny’s credentials are that have led him to believe she’ll be a good queen for all of them. Or perhaps get really personal and remind him that their brother, Robb, died for Northern Independence.

Instead ...

So while Jon might believe that the loss of title is what’s bothering Sansa, what is keeping the girl up at night is whether or not her “brother” is in love with their new queen.

From a non-romantic POV, why would she even ask this question? Ultimately, for her, it shouldn’t matter why Jon bent the knee. The result is the same: the North has now pledged to House Targareyen. So why does Sansa want the answer to this question? Why is it important to her? It’s only if you add a romantic motivation to it, that it begins to make sense.

Also, it’s important to note how the scene ends. In the leaks that came out prior to the premiere, people were saying that Jon and Sansa are interrupted so Jon never gets to answer.

However, that’s not what happens. No one interrupts this conversation. The creators made the choice to cut it before Jon answers, which means that it’s pretty safe to assume he did say something. We just weren’t privy to it.

That being said, only two questions remain:

1. Why do the creators want to play up the ambiguity of Jon’s feelings for D*ny, when we’re assured in all the interviews they’re the great love story of the series?

and

2. What does Sansa now know that we do not?

That’s about it from me, guys. Thank you for reading.

None of the gifs are mine. Thank you to the content creators!

#jonsa #actually jonsa #jon x sansa #jon x sansa meta #got 8x01 #my got meta

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alewyren · 4 years

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tumblr is dead but I’m gonna post my thoughts on Inuyasha here too for archiving purposes. cw for (non-detailed) discussion of sexual assault and suicide wrt kikyo

OKAY. SO. MY THOUGHTS ON INUYASHA. warning for some INCREDIBLY hot takes.

it. sure was a journey. I am not sure if I liked the series overall or not. It had some legit good/touching moments, but it dragged SO LONG and there were a lot of things I thought could've been handled better. But it was fun liveblogging it for sure. And I got NarKik out of it, which snapped me out of my year-long creative dry spell, so it was at least a net positive time investment LMFAO.

I liked... mmmmost of the characters? sango, sesshoumaru, kagura, kanna, naraku, kohaku, K I K Y O, and even kagome were all Good. On the flipside, Inuyasha himself is FUCKING TERRIBLE and he sucks and I hate him. Emotional immaturity ain't cute, he gets everything handed to him on a silver platter, rarely apologizes for being a selfish prick, and the other characters are WAY too forgiving of his bullshit. I got tired of the tsundere het romance cliches between him and Kagome pretty fast, as well as how often he was jealous of her. Like, Kagome's insecurities over Kikyo I can legit understand (despite being #1 Kikyo Fucker). But whenever she's so much as civil with Kouga and Inuyasha's all HANDS OFF MY WOMAN I'm like... dude shut up you two-timing hypocrite. If You Like It Then You Should’ve Put A Ring On It. Credit where credit is due tho, they did chill out over time and some of their moments together towards the end of the series were legit sweet. I'm pretty meh on Inukag overall, and iffy on the resolution of her moving to his era permanently, but that last panel of him greeting her as she came out of the well gave me a Feel.

(Actually, on that note, it... would have been legit kind of hella if the series had ended with Inuyasha himself permanently moving to the modern era? Aside from their friends he had far fewer attachments in his world than she did hers, and there's so much more potential with him having to adapt to the modern era, lol. ALTERNATIVELY, kikyo lives and she switches places with kagome and makes a new life for herself in the modern era. thus letting her truly live as a normal girl. But I'll Get To Kikyo Later. smh)

The premise of the series is actually pretty strong, though of course you can poke holes in it. To my knowledge it was the first isekai anime that really took off, and the driving plot of collecting the Shikon fragments is excellent monster of the week material (though I'm not really a monster of the week fan myself). Also, youkai are awesome. Focusing the series on real-world mythology makes my Shin Megami Tensei heart very excited.

I know the series runs on emotion rather than logic, but I REALLY have some questions here. The fact that the well is explicitly stated to take Kagome back in time rather than to another world makes no sense at all. First of all, where are all the youkai in the present day? Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru are at least a couple hundred years old, right? What happened to them in that 500 year timespan? Surely some creature or another from the series would have naturally survived that long. So what happened? Was there a mass-youkai extinction somewhere along the line? Shouldn't this be cause for concern? Also, do Kagome's time-traveling actions create a stable time loop or a branching timeline? If Naraku won in the past, how would that affect the present? The two eras are just completely isolated from each other and I really don't get it. That kind of stuff. Yeah yeah I know MST3K mantra and all but MAN this bothers me.

Which brings me to Exhibit A of stuff I think should have gone differently: Kagome should have stayed the protagonist, and the modern era should have gotten more focus. Not as in her day-to-day school shenanigans, but stuff touching on the questions listed above. There's just a lot of untapped potential regarding How This Shit Works, rather than confining the story pretty much entirely to the Sengoku Jidai With Youkai. Also there could be plenty of shenanigans with characters OTHER than Kagome and Inuyasha hanging out in the present. LIKE KIKYO. okay yeah my kikyo bias is showing but it would be the perfect opportunity to 1. hide her from naraku (unless he found a way into the present, but that just ties into my previous point), 2. develop her friendship with Kagome. Which would have done both of them wonders. BUT I'LL GET TO KIKYO LATER. (I'm dying imagining Kagome introducing Kikyo to her schoolmates as her cousin and taking her shopping though..... teaching her how to ordinary human... like..... HHH.)

Anyway, Kagome as the protagonist. She was very much the protagonist at the start of the series--she took a more active role in a lot of the monster of the week conflicts, and just had a lot more focus and screentime in general. Then Inuyasha got his sword upgrades and her role in conflicts became reduced to sensing Shikon fragments and occasional use of arrows. It took until the last hundred chapters for her to get ANY sort of substantial power-up, and it felt... unearned? I had been looking forward to her developing her miko powers alongside Inuyasha's youkai powers, and getting bow upgrades to match his Tessaiga upgrades, but it just... didn't happen. Her miko powers having been sealed all along felt like an ass pull, and I wasn't really a fan of the test of character she had to go through in order to get the fancy bow upgrade being solely focused on overcoming her feelings of jealousy towards Kikyo... again... like it's valid for her to feel that way but we've been here already! Surely there's more to her character than this! I think it would've been awesome if she actually got some fights of her own too, and maybe Kaede and eventually Kikyo mentoring her growth as a miko? But as far as canon went, it just felt like she got shallower and less interesting over time as Inuyasha slowly took over the protagonist role and that was a damn shame. Let Kagome be the plucky isekai protagonist she was always meant to be! This, of course, ties in with my assertion that the modern era should have gotten more focus too.

okay, so. it's time. kikyo. Kikyo. I fucking LOVE kikyo, absolutely my fave chara, I was not expecting to love Kikyo this much lmao. All that ship war propaganda was a big fat lie. She has an ASTONISHINGLY mature narrative about the effect of tragedy and trauma on people and relationships, but it was SO under-utilized and shafted in favor of the Love Triangle and Inuyasha's Manpain and I'm FUCKING UPSET. Kikyo was (or at least had the makings to be) the best character in Inuyasha but she was not done justice at all, in this essay I

Like, sit down and think about it. Here we have a woman who lost her parents at a young age, taking on the responsibilities of her household, and training to be a miko on top of it--which in the world of Inuyasha is a very emotionally demanding position that requires her to basically devote her entire life to her duties, ESPECIALLY once she's entrusted with the Shikon Jewel. All while being required to live a life of asceticism and suppressing worldly desires. In short, she basically never had a chance to actually, like. Live. Keep in mind that she was a child/teenager throughout all this (she was 17/18 when she died). That's a LOT of pressure on someone that young.

At this point, she's understandably lonely and depressed, and then along comes Inuyasha. She falls in love with him, gets a taste of a life that would truly make her happy, and has it ripped away. Like, there's some really fucking dark subtext to the whole Onigumo plot. She shows kindness to a random stranger, who proceeds to make a deal with the devil to LITERALLY RAPE HER, and her life is ruined as a result. No, Kikyo wasn't literally raped in canon, because even though Onigumo wanted to rape her Naraku's intentions towards her were... more complicated if still incredibly fucked up, but good lord the subtext is THERE. And as a result of the ensuing incident, believing Inuyasha betrayed her, she straight up KILLS HERSELF. Yes, it was partly to protect the Shikon Jewel, but she did not want to come back to life. Let that sink in. Kikyo was driven to suicide by an incident incited by a man who took advantage of her kindness in order to rape her. (nostalgia critic voice) FAMILY PICTURE!

I'm not gonna pretend Kikyo was the only victim here, though. Inuyasha has pretty clear PTSD from the event too, even after learning Kikyo is innocent. But through his relationship with Kagome, he begins to heal and move on. Then Kikyo gets brought back as a clay zombie, fucks up his whole grieving process, kickstarts the love triangle, you know the story. Kikyo's perspective is actually really interesting to dig into though. She didn't want to be brought back. She's PISSED. Even when the dust settles and she learns that Inuyasha is innocent, the anger and trauma have changed her. She's got a good ol' dose of PTSD herself. She's colder, harsher, engages in risky/self-destructive behavior, and distances herself from her loved ones. Like, think about it. Was there any logical reason she had to separate from Inuyasha and his group to fight Naraku on her own? To keep them in the dark about why she surrendered the Shikon Jewel to Naraku? No. That's a character flaw on HER part. And all this puts real strain on her relationship with Inuyasha. They still love each other, but their mutual trauma has completely changed their dynamic. Their love is based on their past relationship rather than their present chemistry. They don't make each other happy anymore. Neither of them are at fault for that. That's REAL AS FUCK. That's what trauma DOES to people and relationships.

So, yes, I'm a hardcore Kikyo stan who supports InuKag over InuKik. We exist. InuKik does not work as a relationship in the present because they've both changed due to trauma and that's the GODDAMN POINT. It's not a story about true love, it's a story about moving on from first love. The problem is that Kikyo's character is largely confined to her role as a love rival to Kagome. Inuyasha's side of the InuKik narrative, of letting go of the past and healing, is resolved. Kikyo's is not. And boy, I was ABSOLUTELY FUCKING LIVID that the love triangle was resolved through Kikyo's death rather than Inuyasha just... fucking, PICKING KAGOME OVER KIKYO BEFOREHAND RATHER THAN HER NEEDING TO DIE. She can still die after that! I swear, I'm not just salty because my fave died. At least 70% of my favorite charas are dead. I literally don't care anymore. I'm mad that she was killed off in a way that reduced her to being Inuyasha's Woman rather than getting a chance to heal and grow apart from him, as he did from her. And this in turn cheapens the narrative around why InuKik doesn't work as a present relationship to begin with, because he never actually picks present love over past love! He just keeps committing emotional infidelity until Kikyo gets killed off to wrap things up in a neat little bow with no character growth on his part! This shit is why I hate Inuyasha (the character).

Kagome's kindness towards Kikyo also plays a part in why she softens up by the end, yes, but that kindness is entirely depicted as "I want to save her because she's important to Inuyasha and I love Inuyasha." Kagome's character growth in these moments hinges on her picking love over jealousy, NOT through actually bonding with Kikyo. On top of that, Kikyo saving Kohaku over defeating Naraku struck me as out of character (have to show she's not a bad person after all? which she isn't, but still). It definitely made her death feel even more pointless. How come Kohaku gets to live and not her!!! Seriously, the fact that Kohaku gets to live and Kikyo doesn't REALLY rubs me the wrong way. She barely even knew Kohaku! He was willing to die to defeat Naraku! NOT killing Kohaku to defeat Naraku almost cost MORE lives! It could've been a poignant resolution to her character arc, but there wasn't enough buildup for it to be a convincing decision for her to make.

And oh my god, there's SO much wasted potential here. Kikyo's resentment towards Kagome is super understandable, and it's never really explored. Kagome replaced her. Kagome is filling the role she should have filled. What's even left for her except her hatred of Naraku? She asserts that Inuyasha cannot forget her (her being lowkey possessive of him is *chef kiss* my wife is a bitch and I like her so much), and he doesn't, but she still straight up tries to kill Kagome lmao. Like I said they do reconcile, but it's kinda half-assed. Kikyo's feelings are never explored in-depth. She's never truly given a chance to heal and realize that she does have a place in the world beyond her decaying relationship with Inuyasha and hatred for Naraku. That her scarred, flawed existence is still just as fucking valid as Kohaku or Rin or Jaken being able to live after being brought back from the dead. Like lemme stress again that the girl experienced INTENSE trauma and COMMITTED SUICIDE. The notion that she's the only one who needs to die in order to restore the natural order, that her death is beautiful and tragic but necessary, is..... gross, tbh. :U

Like, she can still die, lmao. IMO it'd be legitimately more interesting if she lived, if she had an opportunity to carve a place for herself outside of Kagome like Kagome did Kikyo, but it IS possible for her to die without it making ME want to die. Just resolve the love triangle shit first, flesh out some of her relationships outside of Inuyasha himself (ESPECIALLY Kagome), show her healing and softening, and then she can die protecting everyone or some shit. That would've been fine. But No. She just gets killed off for the service of Inuyasha's character, so he can hook up with Kagome guilt-free, with NONE of this addressed. Because it's more palatable for a woman to be dead than broken up with, I guess? I Hate It Here, You Guys.

her (near) last words being "I've finally become an ordinary woman" rubbed me the wrong way too... it like, tried to wrap her character arc up in a neat little bow while ALSO entirely confining its resolution to being Inuyasha's Woman and discarding the narrative of trauma driving them apart. I love the narrative of the girl forced to be inhuman who just wants to be normal. This just felt like... a really cheap way to go about doing that, at the disservice of her character being about OLD love, for a forced (and false) sense of closure. Didn't like it. God fucking damn, typing it all out just made me even MORE pissed off.

tl;dr: kikyo had the makings of an amazing trauma survivor narrative but it got shafted. she deserved everything. thank you for coming to my TED talk.

SIGH. okay. there are other characters I wanna touch on too. Uhhh I actually thought Naraku was pretty cool, though he became way less interesting after Mt Hakurei (for the most part--he was cool again during the direct lead-up to Kikyo's death as well as the final battle). His identity crisis was pretty neat, as was the way he specifically targeted other people's emotions and relationships as a way to compensate for his own utter lack of a sense of self. Not to mention the cold, detached way he regards his own emotions ("my pp stands up whenever i look at kikyo, wish it wouldn't do that :/") and how this leads him to succumb to the influence of the Shikon Jewel, in contrast to Inuyasha and Kagome breaking the cycle. His lack of motivation is actually kind of the point, and I think it's neat as hell! Things got boring once The Baby entered the picture, and I got the sense Rumiko wasn't really sure what to do with Naraku for a while. His style of villainy got a lot more distant and "just as keikaku," when it was the way he got up in everyone's business and pushed their buttons for his own shallow amusement that made me like him in the first place. His fragments aside from Kagura and eventually Kanna were way less interesting, and I think it would've been neat to go more into his role as basically being an abusive dad, but it's fine. The Baby was a fucking boring and atrocious villain though, jfc. The /idea/ of Naraku's own heart rebelling against him was cool enough, but it means jack shit when The Baby is just a bland-ass villain who doesn't remotely represent the character traits that make up Naraku's "heart" in the first place, even aside from Kikyo.

Speaking of which, his fixation on Kikyo is a LOT of fun. Their interactions (which he was apparently secretly into), how he rejected his own humanity and destroyed both himself and the object of his desires, etc. Which is another reason he got less fun after Mt. Hakurei tbh. I fucking hate the way Kikyo's death was handled overall but I liked that he had to reclaim his human heart in order to overwhelm and kill her. That was neat. Something something toxic desire destroying both yourself and the person it's directed at. Then at the very end he realized that his entire existence was completely pointless and empty and his complicated feelings towards Kikyo were the only thing that ever made him actually, like, give a shit. Pour one out for this absolute dumbass. He's a relatable villain because I too would go to absolutely insane lengths to get over a girl I never even dated.

Uhh who else. Sango and Miroku. Sango was my favorite character in the main party. She's the most level-headed of the bunch, has a super cute design, and her story with Kohaku was responsible for a lot of the emotional moments in the series that really landed for me. Her friendship with Kagome was actually super cute and heartfelt. That scene early on where she broke down crying in Kagome's lap because she was scared of being alone again HURT. Also, Kirara is fucking precious. Miroku I've got mixed feelings about, since on the one hand he's a legitimately interesting character and some of his scenes with Sango did hit fairly hard, but DEAR GOD I hate the quirky pervert trope with a burning passion. If it were played seriously, I'd stan him to hell and back a la Adachi. But it isn't, so it's not. I've got mixed feelings about MirSan too. Their resolution was really sweet, but I was kinda like "wha" when Kagome said Sango had a thing for Miroku in the first place. Like, sure okay, but I think more time should've been spent showing her falling for him in the first place lol. Also the butt-grabbing joke got old fast. And when he proposed to her and basically refused to stop flirting with other women I facepalmed so hard. Can't have character growth when you have unfunny running gags! To his credit, he did chill out for the most part, but still kept making jokes about flirting/scoring that clearly made Sango unhappy and I'm like. Why. Then the bit with Hirai-Kotsu needing to be fixed. I liked their mutual resolve to protect each other, but I thought Sango's comment about how she couldn't live without him was..... a bit much. Like what about Kohaku??? But anyway I'm just glad Sango got a happy ending even if I'm still super *SQUINTS* at Miroku.

Sesshoumaru was pretty neat, I get why he's popular, though wasn't really My Type. Sure he's cool, but his /personality/ was a bit lacking and I think we should have gotten some more insight into his relationship with his father for how much focus his quest for the Best Sword got. His development was pretty good, but I've kind of got an issue with how Rin was more of a plot device than a character. Like, okay, one of the reasons I decided to start reading Inuyasha was because the announcement of Yashahime sparked a wave of Sessh/Rin discourse and I wanted to form my own take on it. And, yeah okay I don't like Sessh/Rin either and I say this as a certified Nasty, lmao. Less because it's problematic (though I find it kind of offputting myself, even aged-up) and more because it's bland. Rin has no character whatsoever outside of being a vehicle for his development and I'm REALLY not a fan of girls being objects for male charas' development. Still, I'm not gonna boycott Yashahime if Sessh/Rin is canon or anything. I prefer him with Kagura or even Kikyo but they're dead, so. If Rin has to be his cum dumpster to make this happen, then that's how it's gotta be.

Thats about it I think. I'd put it a rung or two above Naruto in terms of overall quality, but BOY am I still mad abt Kikyo. 6/10 probably wouldn't recommend, but it WAS fun.

#musings

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