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#but the people making them just think it’s ‘bh angst’
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20 Questions Game
Thanks for the tag, @bronzeagepizzeria <3
How many works do you have on AO3?
68!
2. What's your total AO3 words count?
734,052
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Currently, I really only write Doctor Who aside from a handful of other one-offs I've written, but I literally have at least a hundred WIPs/ideas in my drafts.
Fandoms that I have tons of ideas for are Broadchurch and Jessica Jones (TV series), which I hope to get around to publishing. But I have a fair bit of range hiding away haha.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
In descending order:
Broken-Hearted (cross-over with Broadchurch; multi-chapter; completed)
Braids (one-shot)
Desperate Measures (multi-chapter; completed)
Exes and Ohs (one-shot)
A Lesson in Romantic (AU; multi-chapter; completed)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Pretty much as soon as I can! I appreciate engagement so much and I want to make that known to commenters. Plus, I love a bit of banter and discussion where prompted - it's a delight!
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Oooo, boy. Probably Happy Together? Or maybe the first chapter of Sunburn? Violet Hill was also pretty sad. I love me some dark, heavy stories that fuck up my beloved blorbos.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Although I haven't updated in it in quite a while, I've written a fair bit of the sequels for the A Lesson in Romance universe, and, boy, have I made those two have a (mostly) happy life together.
In terms of published stories, I think Study Buddies would take the cake or one of the many TentooRose pieces I've done. The former is very classic, high school sweetheart vibes with just enough angst dashed in, and I tend to keep the latter sweet, fluffy and horny.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I received some very intense 'constructive' criticism whilst writing A Lesson in Romance - like I'm talking extremely long paragraphs pretty much deconstructing my writing and questioning my content. I was young at the time, it was my first multi-chapter Doctor Who fic, and the fact that this person also pretty much outright told me how I should write my story pissed me off a bit, so I, in the most polite way possible, asked them to stop reading my story and leaving these comments.
Aside from that? I've really only had one sort of bad comment since then, but I opted to not reply.
9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
Oh, you know I do ;) I currently only write F/M; have explored M/M in the past so I'm down to write queer smut if the inspiration ever strikes.
I'm not really a fan of overly kinky stuff that is, say, explicit/specific (e.g. BDSM), but I don't mind stuff that is vaguely/lightly kinky (i.e. I tend to include voyeurism in my stories, but it's generally accidental). I mostly write either very horny or emotional, intimate stuff - I'm a sucker for the feelings associated with the couple.
It honestly depends on what kind of story I'm writing! But as of recent, I've been mostly producing first-time, emotion-heavy smut with a good serving of horniness/wantonness to build up the tension.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I've written two - Broken-Hearted and Fobwatched (if you've been waiting for an update, I promise I think of her often... I'll revive her one day). I'd say BH is crazier, as it does entwine itself with the Human Nature storyline from Doctor Who, but Fobwatched has also had some pretty wacky moments!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge, and I really hope not! I have, admittedly, been a bit fearful of it in recent months.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Again, not to my knowledge! But I'm always open to that conversation if people are interested.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Back when I wrote band/music fanfiction (please forgive me for my crimes), I had started drafting out a fic with someone, but it never went anywhere and we didn't communicate very well either :,)
However, I have been beta-ing the lovely @quite-right-too's fic Dona Nobis Pacem, which has been a lovely collaboration <3 I'm so proud of Cody's work and highly recommend you read it if you haven't!
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
It would probably be DoctorRose! I've never really been more enthralled with a ship before, and the fact that the special interest is still going strong three years on is a pretty good sign. I also tend to come back to Ellie and Alec from Broadchurch quite often.
In the past, I was a hardcore Reylo fan, and I've always enjoyed random, niche ships within my realm of interests (i.e. Evey and V from V For Vendetta; Jackson and Lisa from Red Eye; an array of ships from my horror movies because I love being delusional).
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Look, I'm quite stubborn in my belief that, ultimately, I will finish all my drafts, but I can say that the drafts from when I first started writing Doctor Who fanfiction have been quite difficult to work on because my writing has changed so much since then!
There are also maybe a WIP or two that I have written purely for myself and will never publish. I will probably take these to my deathbed lol.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Hm, I've always been complimented for character accuracy, which I do think I have down pact - writing characters like Ten and Rose have gradually become more comfortable for me over the years and I feel like I know them quite well by this point, which is really surprising considering I've never done a proper rewatch of the show since finishing it aside from some scenes/particular episodes!
I've also always been very anal about detail in my stories - I love including the most unnecessary shit in my work!! Do you need to know what Rose had for breakfast? No. Are you gonna know anyway? YES!!! I just love making my stories feel as organic and lifelike as possible.
I've been working really hard on scenery recently, which I've been getting compliments on! I have aphantasia, so this is something I've put a lot of energy and focus into as I've come to realise it's pretty important for readers lol.
And, not to brag, but I do think I write some pretty banging smut. It's taken ten or so years of practice, but I got there in the end.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Eh, I feel I'm not super great at coming up with like... proper action/plot. Like I can do circumstances and events quite alright, but coming up with something like... say, escaping from a villain/bad situation, I've always felt pretty shit at accomplishing. However, I always try to improve.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I only speak English, so it's a bit daunting! But I just use Google Translate and consult others where possible. And, as Niyati has mentioned in her own post, I recently used her technique of writing from the non-speaker's perspective and it's been a welcome addition to my skills! Shout out, girlie <3
19. First fandom you wrote for?
It would've been 5SOS, but those fics are long gone - I deleted them from Wattpad, and the iPod that the original drafts are on doesn't work, unfortunately.
I also wrote about other bands that I listen to - Asking Alexandria, Of Mice & Men, You Me At Six, Pierce the Veil, and Bring Me The Horizon. I still have most of the drafts, but I deleted all but four of them from the internet lol (the ones that were deleted were unfinished works).
I don't write about these people anymore as I did come to realise, Wait a minute, it's kinda weird and gross to write about these people like this lol (no hate on anyone who does). But I'm always down to chat about my sordid past haha.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
I would have to say "Come, gentle night, come" as it's probably the most amount of effort I put into writing. I think it's my best smut and cherish it deeply!
Tagging: @quite-right-too, @deardiary17, @insomniac-101, @metacrisisdoctor
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stormblessed95 · 2 years
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Hi!!! It’s me again. I hope your having a great day. As our resident BTSpedia I’m hoping you can tell me where to look cause I’ve been on YouTube and it didn’t help. Also this isn’t Jikook related.
I became army after the HYYH period. Everyone is extremely excited and I’m happy to be able to see it for myself. My confusion is why do they say it’s gay and they hope Yoonkook have a happy ending? I’ve watched what I can on YouTube to try and tie the moments and videos together, but I may be missing some things.
Do you happen to know why they call it this and where I may be able to get a full picture? Thank you!!!!
This is, in part, asking the impossible. Because you will likely get a different interpretation of the story with every person you ask. Plus there is so much and it's confusing no matter what. Lol So like everything else, it's best to dive into it all and draw your own conclusions. So I'll do a general overview of it all and then I'll get into why a lot of people, but especially the queer community, thinks it's gay. This is going to be an incredibly long post probably, so I apologize in advance lol. But I know I have a lot of baby armys on this blog too, so if yall are interested, hopefully this helps!
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To start, it's always important to remind people that this is fictional. None of their relationships within this storyline or the things that they've gone through/did is an accurate portrayal of their real lives. Even if some things link up (like them all loving each other lots etc) they are playing characters, characters with their own names, but characters still. If we want to relate it to real life at all, the only thing we could do is possibly have an interesting discussion over the homoromantic themes BH included in this storyline full of trauma, angst, love and friendship and why they did that. Lol the general overall theme of this storyline though seems to be that SeokJin time travels in his efforts to save the other members, from outside forces and/or from themselves. As well as the overarching themes of the importance of friendships, etc.
So basically I'm going to go ahead and start this post off with a list of the videos, notes, webtoons, etc included in the hyyh BU storyline that you would need to watch/read in to get the best understanding of the story. As well as go ahead and tell you that the pairings are worth paying attention to. Which would be yoonkook, taejoon, jihope and then Jin is our main character basically. So yes, if you were just watching the videos, you definitely missed major chunks of the storyline. Also worth noting, the storyline can contain trigger warnings for violence, mental and physical abuse, suicide, suicidal thoughts, substance abuse, homicide, and parental neglect. So just make sure you are good with all that before really digging into it.
The list, including links, in order of release:
BTS Begins Concert VCR
I Need U (original 19+ MV)
HYYH On Stage Prologue Video
Run MV
I Need U Japan MV
Run Japan MV
Epilogue Young Forever MV
Short Films 1 - 7 (Begin, Lie, Stigma, First Love, Reflection, Mama, Awake)
Blood Sweat and Tears MV
Blood Sweat and Tears Japan MV
The Wings Concept Book
Testesso "Smeraldo" Flower Shop Blog
Love Yourself Poster Translations
HYYH the Notes: Seokjin Translation
Highlight Reel: '起承轉結'
HYYH the Notes: Her
Euphoria: Theme of LY Wonder
HYYH the Notes: Jungkook Translation
Fake Love Teaser 1
Fake Love Extended Edition MV
HYYH the Notes: Tear
HYYH the Notes: Seokjin Translation
Comeback Trailer: Epiphany
HYYH the Notes: Answer
Smeraldo Books Twitter Account
Save Me Webtoon (15 episodes)
HYYH the Notes Book 1
HYYH the Notes: Persona
Game Concept Trailer
HYYH the Notes: 7
HYYH the Notes Book 2
BTS Universe Story Game
Some extra context, for the Testesso Smeraldo flower shop blog, this was started and found by ARMY after Seokjin tweeted out a photo with Smeraldo Flowers a couple days before the Love Yourself Era was introduced in 2017. It's a naver blog that is run by the owner of the fictional smeraldo flower shop that Jin encounters in the storyline. The blog basically describes the history of the flower leading up to the shops opening. None of the BU characters are named in the blog, but there are lots of hints pointing towards Seokjin being the customer that is described in multiple posts. The blog also has only been active and updating recently whenever BTS is having a comeback and starting a new era. The mentioned dates of the flower shop alleged openings have always been at the same time as BTS ends up announcing for their comeback. And the Smeraldo Books Twitter account was first opened with the introduction of the Save Me Webtoon Tweet. And has since posted notes for books 1 and 2, which contained all previous notes as well as unseen and updated ones too. And something to keep in mind as you read the notes too, each album seems to be a new timeline taking place and time leaps happening. So pay attention to the dates at the top of each of the notes.
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There are many many many theories out there over wtf is even happening in this storyline. But there are a few key plot points that are "canon" and the theories are built around those. Basically the story starts with the boys all meeting and becoming friends in high-school, in the fictional world year 19. We see them meet in BTS Begins VCR, they got in trouble for being late and punished by needing to clean up an old storage classroom. They ended up becoming friends and using this classroom as a hideout and that is the start of the story. They fall apart a bit as adults.
A really good general story overview and theory of the storyline is done by Xceleste, which you can watch here if you want too
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So since Celeste does a good job at talking about overall story plots and theories as well as pointing out things that are confirmed facts, etc. I'll just assume we all understand what's happening in the story and just talk about what things made some people think it's gay. In particular with yoonkook. Yoongi in the BU has some pretty severe attachment issues stemming from trauma. He does not want to be emotionally attached to anyone again. We see this in the notes when he is watching JK cry while playing the paino. JK himself having issues with fear of abandonment, self harm and suicide attempts (or successes depending on what timeline you are in). JK wanted someone to love him throughout his life while Yoongi was afraid of loving someone. He thought he wouldn't be able to protect Jungkook.
"I didn't want to be important for someone. I wasn't sure I could protect that someone till the end. I wasn't confident I could stand by that someone till the end. I didn't want to hurt that someone. I didn't want to get hurt" - Yoongi, The Notes, after finding JK playing the piano.
They often ended up meeting in this storage room to play piano and create music. Yoongi sharing that part of himself with JK. Despite him not wanting to care, it's clear he does when he steps in to protect JK from a teacher when they get caught in the storage room. Yoongi ends up expelled from the school and disappears. Yoonkook don't see each other again for like another 2 years. When I say this is angsty and traumatic 😭 its giving first love you never get over vibes
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Begin short film had many things burning (which is a Yoongi connection), it starts off with JK calling Hyung and has him holding a painted portrait of Yoongi as well. In Yoongis First Love short film, we see him break into a shop to play the piano again for the first time in a long time, since giving up music after he got expelled. The piano ends up burning.. In the notes, Yoongi hears his song and runs finding JK who had broken into the shop to play the piano. Them meeting again for the first time in 2 years. We see the car speed past Yoongi in First Love, and in the notes we know that it's JK playing the piano he heard before the car almost hits him in an alternate timeline.
From the Save Me Webtoon, we can assume that this meeting again after he finds JK at the piano didn't go well. Yoongi rejects JK, telling him to just go. Which ended up with Yoongi in bed alone, horribly sad and running his hand over the empty spot in bed next to him. Missing someone. Missing JK? JKs shirt is also left with Yoongi in the motel room. And in making films, Yoongi talks about how for acting in this scene, he is sad from a break up.
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In other timelines both yoonkook have attempted (and in the failed timelines, they succeed) suicides. Yoongi tries to commit suicide by fire, similar to his mother. After multiple attempts to save him, Seokjin realizes that just like Yoongi was the only one who could save Jungkook from jumping off the roof, JK is the only one who can save Yoongi.
"My last sight of this world was this dirty, isolated room, the red-hot flames and rolling heat, and JK's twisted face." - Yoongi, the notes, after he sets fire to his room and JK saves him
In the highlight reels after JKs car accident, he seems to make a friend to help him through his recovery in another girl at the hospital, but thinks of Yoongi often. Yoongi seems to have tried moving on, but not very well. He is either in a relationship with or good friends with another girl, but never seems super happy there. His breaking point being when he got a text about JK being in an accident but couldn't bring himself to go into his hospital room. Hoesok even bringing up that he should go see JK, "don't you know what you mean to him?" Being the exact quote he used that we see in the notes. Yoongi struggling to go see him because he felt that anyone close to him was bound to be hurt. When the girl Yoongi was with ends up playing at the hospital, JK recognized the music as the song he used to play with Yoongi in the storage room, and his lighter with Yoongi's initials hanging on her guitar. All his flashbacks were the softest scenes, honestly. And JK seemed to think of them so fondly. And in the behind the scenes that was filmed for those flashbacks, they were very awkward talking about the scenes they filmed and kept reiterating that it's not them in real life. Lmao which really lends to the theory they were playing boyfriends and knew the romantic undertones in these scenes playing out and what it looked like. "Complaining that they had to act like good friends" yes editors, "good friends." 🤣😅 The clip here:
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Essentially with yoonkook, it was a lot of moments interlaced within their story and the way they talked to each other/about each other that really made it clear they were VERY important to each other, more so than the relationships they had within the group setting, which those were clearly important enough to time travel for. Lol the way their story interconnects in so many little ways with romantic undertones through all the interactions. A lot of people theorized that the piano in some ways represented JK in this storyline for Yoongi, making JK his first love as well along with music. The piano played when JK is around and stopped when he got into his accident. Yoongi getting up early with JK at the sea before everyone else to sit with arms around each other, smiling and gazing out to sea. JK giving Yoongi flowers in the Euphoria timeline video. They fight in Run over Yoongi breaking a promise to JK, theorized that the promise was to live. Resulting in Yoongi smashing a mirror with Blue Roses in its reflection, which is a flower that symbolizes unattainable love.
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This is already insanely long, the main or most obvious "couple" in the BU was clearly yoonkook, but I think that there is a good argument to be made that Jihope and TaeJoon were also or had the potential to be more than just friends. Yoonkook is canon though, argue with the wall 😂
In high-school, Hoseok would walk Jimin home all the time, even though it was a really long way out of his way. They would dance together. We see videos of Jimin filming Hobi with the fondest smile on his face while he dances. He filmed Hobis dance partner too, which we learn is because Jimin wanted to be the perfect dance partner for Hoseok one day. Hoseok was also the one who took Jimin to the hospital the first time after his seizure before they didn't see each other again for 2 years. When they were both in the hospital, Hoseok slipped on the stairs and Jimin saves him. In both their short story films (Lie and Mama) we see similar situations and connections between the hospitals. We see Jimin continually look to the bed next to him, where Hoseok used to be, missing him. We see in Euphoria how Hoseok brings everyone together to help encourage Jimin to leave with them, to save Jimin from himself. Taking Jimin back home to stay at his house too. We even get in the behind the scenes for some of this footage of them in the hospital, when pretending to be in character during the scene where Jimin saves Jhope on the stairs, he calls Jhope "honey."
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Plus we are getting quotes like during Hoseoks efforts to help Jimin in the hospital and help him escape.
"He reached for my hand..."
"Jimin, I'll come back for you"
"Hoseok said he would carry you on his back if he could"
And while Hoseok was watching Jimin dancing, he said "mistakes I saw during the practice approached me differently now. The small mistakes and amateurishness actually gave a unique wave. Jimin was different from me but he had his own timing, his own style of expressing. Jimin was shining and dancing in a way that moves people's hearts."
I'm just saying, they were very "I love you, let's live for each other" type of vibes.
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Hyyh TaeJoon were basically the "be gay do crime" definition. Lol the tension in that loaded look between them as they got arrested. Like WOW okay. Plus, when Tae needed help, Namjoon was the first and only person he called. And always continues to think to call him first whenever he is in trouble. Literally placing all his faith and trust into Namjoon for a lot of things. Tae seemed to be one of the first to split off on his own. He found a new criminal friend, Namjoon seemed to have an interest in another girl for a while, but a lot seemed to stem from finding similarities of himself in her. They reconnected again in jail or in regards to being arrested (be gay do crime) later in the various timelines and quickly seem to be close again. We see similarities in their short Films as well, with the phone connections. Things or places or themselves being locked up/unreachable. We also see a lot of mirrored images through the MVs of moments that Taejoon were in together, to Tae being in alone. Alluding to feelings of lose and loneliness as well. Always again, saving each other. Looking out for each other, spending time together.
And we get quotes like this from Namjoon about Tae:
"And I asked myself: Do I believe Taehyung? And the answer was always the same."
"I feel like I'm losing my mind whenever I see him smile like that"
And from Tae about Namjoon:
"Can I stay here with you?"
"He held out his hand. I just kept looking up at him. His hand was warm."
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Plus then we have the behinds where they say the scene they are filming is romantic and they are on a date, with Joon laying on Tae's arm 😅😂 idk what else to say about that. Lmfao
Basically HYYH BU is angsty trauma filled depression, queer youth found family with pillow fights, all the elements, and lots of flannel. And trauma. Trauma should be in this list 8 times. So much yearning and angst and hurt and trauma 😭 and now with Yet to Come being tagged "the most beautiful moment in life" aka HYYH, people are speculating that maybe we will finally get a conclusion to the BU storyline and everyone just wants a happy ending please. Lol there is honestly a lot more we could dig into to talk about symbolism and different motifs used. And all the potential queer coding happening, intentional or accidental. I know I definitely focused mostly on yoonkook here, but they really had the most going on. Like for real and the most angsty yearning codependency while being avoidant tendencies. Lol
Again, this is ALL FICTIONAL. THEY ARE ACTING AND PLAYING CHARACTERS. Lol please don't take any of this and translate it into real life relationships or scenarios. And again, this is mostly all theory too. So you can also go through and read all the stories (the notes books are still available for purchase on weverse) and decide for yourself what you think is happening. And it's okay to be confused. I'm still a little confused honestly too. Lol thanks for the ask. Sorry this is a whole ass essay and it took me so long! 💜
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utilitycaster · 2 years
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i can def agree with you in regards to Laudna’s death staying permanent, but what do you think the odds are that it actually happens? i’m kind of 50/50 myself, because while i agree with it as a broader story-servicing plot development, it feels like Marisha is still p passionate about playing as her, and i doubt Matt would insist on it if she wanted to continue. plus the fact that the BH seem super dedicated to the idea of trying to rez her once they get back to Jrussar, coupled with their fairly good connections to some powerful allies, i think it’s obvious an attempt is gonna be made at least.
obviously i know it’s not something you’ll have a 100% fully confident answer for, but i was curious to ask if you had any thoughts, and on the idea of player satisfaction vs wider storyline benefits as a whole.
Hi anon,
I can't speak to the odds, but I do have a question for you actually:
I've seen a lot of people state variations on "Marisha clearly is passionate about still playing Laudna" and I neither know where that statement is coming from, or why it necessarily means that she wouldn't consider playing a new character.
I don't know how Marisha feels. Obviously it's sad in the moment but she left the table soon after, and if she's said anything specific on social media I am unaware of it. She very well might be passionate about still playing Laudna...but it feels to me like this statement, which is taken as fact by so much of the fandom, has no solid evidence.
I watched Campaign 2, and it is pretty apparent that Taliesin clearly loved Molly and would have loved to have kept playing him, and was incredibly sad over his death, but also played a new character. You can love a character deeply and still make a decision to play a new one. These two things are not in conflict. She can say "I loved Laudna, I would have gladly played her for a whole campaign, but I think it's time for a new character". And she might want Laudna to be resurrected! But literally, we don't know.
Unless Marisha outright says what she wants I think it's pretty frustrating how many people have put words and feelings into her mouth simply because of their own feelings about Laudna (not to mention I have a lot of thoughts about whether they actually have their own feelings about Laudna as an individual, or if it's all just as Imogen's Partner/Delilah's Vessel/Sun Tree Angst Opportunity), and I am not going to be one of them.
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bffsoobin · 3 years
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This Time Around
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➤ idol!yeonjun x non!idol/ex!girlfriend reader ft. same reader x jungkook (mostly platonic), fluff, angst, lots of messy feelings, other txt members make appearances/are mentioned
↳ weeks after your chance reconnection with Yeonjun, you book a flight to Seoul under his encouragement. When you arrive, you’re not only overwhelmed by the lifestyle of an idol, but the new people you meet. Will you and Yeonjun be able to hold on to each other this time around?
word count: 9k
requested?: yes! (thank you for this great idea, anon)
warnings: this is largely angst. crying, arguments, swearing, feelings of betrayal and confusion, Yeonjun is kind of an ass, self-doubt (in both Yeonjun and reader), messy feelings and relationships all around, this does NOT have a happy ending so don’t go in expecting one lmao also disclaimer (?) that I a) have no idea what the BH building looks like inside b) don’t think that either Yeonjun or Jungkook would act this way...we are here to write fiction, after all.
A/N: This is a sequel to Just One Day! I won’t be making too many explicit references to the content of that fic but reading it first will help with storyline clarity! I also don’t explicitly state this but the reader in this case already knows Korean, she just has never been to the country before- it was simply easier for storytelling. I really hope y’all like this. I was very inspired by this request especially since I was in the mood to write both angst and a sequel to one of my older pieces! (also this gave me a good excuse to write about koo without feeling bad for straying from TXT content lmao) ALSO this is not proof read or edited, as usual for me :)
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“I think it’s a good idea,” Yeonjun’s voice, velvety and heavy with sleep, seeps through the speakers of your phone. You glance at the time displayed on your computer and do the mental math which proves it’s a crisp 2 am in Korea.
“Go to bed, Junnie,” you half-scold, knowing that you wish for nothing more than for him to stay on the line until he eventually falls asleep in the middle of the conversation. He sighs through the phone, and you imagine him stretching his arms above his head to eliminate the fatigue creeping through him.
“Not till you promise me you’ll come,” he counters smartly. Your stomach flips wildly at the words. It had been almost three months since you spent the day with him, and not a single day had passed where he hadn’t been on your mind. Whether you spent your time talking to him or indulging yourself in your newfound kpop guilty pleasures, Yeonjun was almost always on your mind. Staying in touch proved to be harder than expected, due to both time zones and your equally packed schedules. Since he had flown back to Korea, you’d begun your first big girl job in a serious office that required constant business attire and piled the paperwork onto you, the newest and youngest hire.
“I’d love to, but you know how it is at work. I think my boss would combust if I told him I was taking a week’s vacation.” Talking about work made your head swim, as you recalled the stack of paperwork currently residing on your bedroom desk that needed to be finished before you showed up on Monday.
“That’s exactly why you deserve a vacation, Y/N. Look, if you fly into Seoul I promise I’ll make sure you don’t think about work for a second. I know you have time to take off, so take it. Come see me.” The line was quiet for a few seconds as you pondered, weighing your options carefully.
“I miss you,” Yeonjun’s voice came through loud and clear, crumbling the last remaining bit of your resolve. You missed him too, so much more than you ever thought you would, and your heartbeat kicks into high gear at the thought of seeing him again.
“Okay, I’ll file for my week off on Monday. I’ll see you soon, Yeonjun.”
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When you finally arrive inside of the BigHit building, suitcase in tow and a huge visitor lanyard around your neck, your hands are sweating profusely. A kind staff member had picked you up from the airport and delivered you to the practice room that Yeonjun would presumably be inside of. The walls were soundproofed well, but you could hear the faint beat of bass through the heavy door as you hesitate in pushing it open. Another staff member passes behind you and eyes you closely until recognizing the badge hanging around your neck.
Feeling awkward for hesitating in the hallway after being seen, you push on the door until it swings open in a smooth motion. The wheels of your suitcase click over the seams of the floor, and the sound would have been enough to make you cringe if it weren’t for the pounding music.
A track you don’t recognize echos through the mirrored room as none other than Choi Yeonjun stares intently back at his own dancing reflection. You catch your own reflection; arms crossed in a protective latch over your chest.
His body moves fluidly, as if he had left all of his bones waiting for him at home, and a thrill of excited anxiety crawls through your chest. He was really there, mere feet away, and you were really here in the middle of the BigHit building, achieving the dreams of fans all over the world.
The music stops and your mouth runs dry. Yeonjun’s heaving breath is the only sound in the mirrored room and you try to drive away the thought of the last time you’d heard him pant like that; sweaty and shirtless overtop of you on your rickety secondhand couch.
“You made it.” He says, impressively able to control his voice even after the exertion.
“In one piece, at least.” You say. Your arms stay wound around your body, a protective cage against his stare and his touch. He eyes you carefully and you’re suddenly concerned that your airport-chic appearance is inadequate.
“You look pretty.” He whispers, stepping close enough that his heaving chest almost touches your crossed arms. His hands, fingers calloused and rough, wind around your wrists and tug gently, giving you plenty of time to pull back. But you let him unwind your arms and pull them to your sides. His hands are large and warm and press gently into your skin, grounding you into the room and the moment and the absurdity of the fact that you’re actually here with him in Korea.
“You bleached your hair.” You offer weakly, withering underneath his attention.
“I’m not supposed to tell, but I’m getting ready for pink.” He says. Sweat drips down his temples, meeting and rolling together in tracks down to his chin. He looks just as handsome as you remember him to be months before, but it’s hard to ignore the thinned frame of his face.
“Have you been taking care of yourself?” You ask, finally finding courage to string together a meaningful sentence.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Yeonjun leans into you, supporting himself on the tips of his toes until he’s dangerously close to toppling you both over. He levels a heavy, constant gaze on you, eyes drifting down to the surprised pout of your lips and sliding back to your eyes. In a second you know that he wants to kiss you, and there is nothing more you’d like than for that to happen, so you close your eyes and lean into him; feel the warmth of his breath and you can almost taste the salt of his sweat, but the kiss never comes. Instead, Yeonjun startles and drops his hands from you, takes one huge step back and immediately bends into a deep bow. 
Your back is still facing the door, but you catch a glimpse through the mirror. Jeon Jungkook stands just inside the door, dark wavy hair tied half up in a messy bun, some loose strands framing his face. He’s wearing a t-shirt and loose sweats and rubbing fatigue from his eyes, but he’s somehow even more handsome in person. Your face flushes, desperately trying not to make eye contact with him through the mirror and knowing you failed as soon as he shoots you a small, toothy smile. 
“Didn’t know you had company,” He says in lieu of a greeting as he steps just slightly closer to the two of you. 
“We were just going.” Yeonjun bows again, grabs your wrist and tugs you in a persuasive manner. 
“It’s okay, really.” Jungkook enthuses, eyes crinkling in apparent amusement at Yeonjun’s behavior and before you know it your face twists into a similar smile. It had been a long time since you’d seen Yeonjun so nervous, acting like he was attached to a live wire that kept him moving nonstop. “No need to rush out on my account.” Jungkook adds as Yeonjun tugs you again, leaving your suitcase abandoned in the spot you’d been standing. You open your mouth to protest. 
“Wait! I don’t think that...” Jungkook looks at you pointedly as he rolls the suitcase back over to the two of you. 
“Y/N.” You offer, hands sweating profusely as he passes over the luggage. 
“I don’t think that Y/N would like to leave without her suitcase.” His eyes twinkle with something like an untold joke, an anecdote he wants to share but keeps in the back of his head for later. You thank him shortly, still starstruck and nervous as Yeonjun pulls you out of the door. 
----
“I’m so sorry about that.” Yeonjun apologizes again as you arrive at a new door, this one in a whole new wing of the building that you would have gotten lost finding on your own. 
“It’s okay, Jun. I expect to run into...o-other people.” You stutter as he opens the door, facing the realization that you were probably about to meet Yeonjun’s members too. The dorm was simpler than you expected, opening up to a lightly furnished living room that looked like it had been hastily cleaned- you could see a stack of clothes had been clumsily shoved behind the couch. 
The lack of instant greetings surprises you as you follow Yeonjun blindly into the room but you don’t say anything. You kind of wish that the other four boys would come bursting out, bombard you with questions and jokes and prodding fingers as Yeonjun lets you into his room. The air is still charged from your interrupted kiss, and your fingers curl around the handle of your suitcase as you recall Jungkook’s reaction. He had clearly found it amusing, but was he more interested in teasing Yeonjun or finding out exactly who you were? 
In the moment you had found his attention comical although stressful, like a funny anecdote that Yeonjun might grumble about a few weeks later. Now, you replay it over and over again, worried that every chance interaction with another idol within the building would play out exactly the same. Maybe you weren’t quite cut out for this. Yeonjun had been speaking the whole time, rattling off words you don’t catch as he opens and closes drawers.
“-is that alright?” He asks, spinning on his socked heels to face you. You freeze, trying desperately to claw through your mind for any clues to what he’d said. Yeonjun smirks, closes in on you and raises a well-kept eyebrow. 
“What did I just ask you?” He asks, voice level and cool despite the teasing nature of the question. 
“I-I don’t know.” You admit, a blush rises on your cheeks as his smirk pulls even larger. 
“I asked...” he tucks a stray hair behind your ear, “if you wanted to share a bed. You could always sleep on the couch, but I-”
“No, I’ll sleep with you!” You slap a hand over your mouth as Yeonjun dissolves into giggles. “I mean, I mean, I don’t mind sharing a bed.” You try desperately to break through his laughter but it’s useless, so you succumb to the same fit of giggles. Yeonjun cups your cheeks sweetly, squishing them together in earnest before leaning in the same way he had just minutes prior. Your heart stutters at the knowledge that this kiss was finally happening after three months separated. 
Your lips meet in soft, tentative passes against each other until you recall the feeling. Yeonjun is hesitant, hanging back until you surge forward, kissing him harder and wiggling your tongue between the seam of his lips until he opens them. His teeth rake your bottom lip and nibble hard enough to draw blood, the metallic taste grounding you into the moment until Yeonjun pulls back, thumbs stroking the tops of your cheeks. He places another kiss to your nose, giggling against your skin as you shy away. 
A loud crash sounds from just outside the door and you jump, eyes blowing wide when the sound of overlapping voices grows closer and closer. Yeonjun tells you that the rest of the boys must be back and ushers you out of the room before you can protest. 
In the living room you’re faced with the four of them, all busying themselves with mundane tasks or scrolling through their phones until Yeonjun clears his throat. They look up simultaneously, synchronized enough that you would have laughed under a different circumstance. 
“Everyone, this is, my uh, uh, Y/N.” Yeonjun awkwardly sweeps a hand your way and you flush, feeling small as the four boys you’d watched and laughed with and admired through a screen bowed to you. 
“I really-it’s not...well, hi.” You sigh. 
----
Introductions aside, the night slides by easily until the wear of your travel catches up with you so suddenly that you slump onto the nearest body. Yeonjun shakes you awake and it’s only then that you notice the shoulder you were leaning upon belonged to Beomgyu. You apologize to the boy as soon as you can get your tongue to work properly and are soon whisked away to Yeonjun’s bedroom. The short trip awoke you to an unpleasant degree, almost feeling as if you were suddenly too aware of your surroundings. The lights were too bright, the scent of fabric softener too strong in your nose, the sound of the remaining four people in the living room too loud. And of course, the presence of Yeonjun too much to handle. 
You sit at the foot of the bed and pick at your nails while Yeonjun shuffles around the room, doing something you don’t bother to track closely. 
“Are you going to get ready for bed?” He asks shortly, not even turning to face you. You now realize that he had pulled on pajamas of his own; a too-big graphic t-shirt and a pair of worn sweatpants. Frowning, you head for your own suitcase and dig through the carefully stacked clothes until you find some suitable options. You change quickly, keeping your back to him although you can feel his heavy stare at your back. 
“Did you like them?” He asks. You sit back at the metal headboard and nod thoughtfully. His lips draw into a straight line as he settles beside you. “You and Beomgyu really...got along well.” 
“Sure, I think we all got along well.” You offer, tucking yourself underneath his newly cleaned sheets. For a moment you wonder what he was going to do about the lights overhead, but they extinguish with a press of a button on his phone. Plunged in darkness, you can’t help but feel a bit bolder, indulging in the burn of defiance within you. 
“Why? Are you jealous?” You ask. Yeonjun scoffs and you can feel the sheets pull as he flips underneath them. He says nothing but you can feel the air in the room shift. The bedding feels suffocating. 
“Goodnight, Y/N.” 
----
When you wake, you’re uncharacteristically hot. You notice the sweat beading your neck and forehead as soon as you sit up, desperate to free yourself from the covers. You wonder if Yeonjun is suffering a similar fate, or if his body is used to the brutal heat of his bedroom. You turn to look for him, happy anxiety at the thought of seeing his sleeping form in real time brewing in the pit of your stomach. You couldn’t count the amount of times you’d imagined this exact moment, wondered if he scrunched his face in his sleep or if he looked serene and peaceful, wondered if he snored or spoke or sighed in his sleep. 
But all you saw was crumpled sheets and a small, bright green post-it note with bunched writing. It stuck to the bed sheets as you pulled it up, and you had to blink a few times before you finally understood the gist of the note. Yeonjun was gone, off to do his daily idol duties, and you are welcome to use their shower as none of the boys were home. You scan the note again for any sign of love or sincerity but find nothing more than cold and clinical facts, like a teacher giving instructions to a class. 
Bitterness grows in your chest as you slip into the cramped shower and cool yourself off under a trickle of water. Theoretically, you know that Yeonjun would be busy while you were here. After all, you couldn’t expect the company to let him off of all responsibility just because you were around. Your skin was growing red under the scrub of your fingers. But he could have at least run it by you last night, warned you that he would probably be gone by the time you got up and given you some idea of when he’d be back. What were you supposed to do all day? You stepped out of the shower, flinging your wet hair away from your face. You could barely make it out of this building alone, but you’d be damned if all you did was sit here and wait for him to return. If he wasn’t going to be here, you’d make your own fun.
You were unfamiliar to Seoul, but after navigating yourself out of the BigHit building you felt as if you could conquer anything. You hadn’t realized how much of the day had passed by in your slumber until you stepped into the real world. Dusk had begun to fall over the sky, painting it a hazy purple-pink in anticipation of a sunset. People and cars and buses rushed by with purpose as you stand still and baffled at the city before you. The packed street before you is a little bit intimidating, but reminded you enough of the bustle of your hometown that you took a brave step forward anyway. Crossing so quickly that you almost run into a group of teenage girls, you finally reach some kind of a destination. To be fair, you had done zero planning on sight seeing before coming, so almost every building looked like a destination to you. A particularly cute looking café seemed to manifest itself out of thin air and beckon you in with sweet drinks and sugary snacks. You order and eat greedily with the realization that this is your first real meal since being on the plane yesterday, and the waitress laughs when you tell her that as you flag her down for another piece of cake. 
The café certainly lives up to the hype you make for it, but you notice the employees begin to clean and close things down, so you leave and thank them on the way out. You finally check your phone, hoping that Yeonjun might have sent you an apology or an update, but you see nothing aside from email notifications. Emblazoned by his actions, you continue on your exploration, opening the doors to a clothing shop with so much force that other patrons cringe. Inside, you buy way too many things to fit in your suitcase before traipsing yourself-weighed down by bags- into a nearby restaurant. Something about being in Korea had elevated your appetite to an extreme level, so your stomach growls as soon as you cross over the threshold. The place is crowded, almost packed wall to wall as patrons and employees alike bustle between one another. 
The cute wooden sign reads “seat yourself” so you dodge and weave until you find a tiny table, just big enough for your party of one, hidden in a more private corner of the restaurant. An employee spots you and yells out that he’s going to go get a menu, so you content yourself with people watching in the meantime. At the table diagonal to you, you spot a woman who looks just about the same age as you. Her hair is carefully waved; a deep, shiny brown that flows just down to the top of her chest. Every feature you can spot is immaculate and it makes you feel sick. Her nails are perfectly manicured, not a single chip or hang nail in sight, while your own nailbeds are torn up and bloody as a result of nervous picking. A weird, unwelcome acidity crawls up the back of your throat and demands to be acknowledged, makes your eyes burn with envious tears as the waiter finally delivers a menu and you wonder why you can’t just look that put together and perfect. After you order you can no longer stand to look her way anymore, angry at the fact that you were so resentful of this stranger. 
Your waiter drops your food and utensils with polite haste but you aren’t nearly as hungry as you were before. Noodles and broth swirl around your spoon as the steam rises into your face, paying more attention to the bustle of the open kitchen where you spot a fun streak of vibrant pink hair. Whoever is donning it must have had it done recently. There’s a few small patches of pink dye spotting the back of their neck and it’s quite endearing to think about until you remember- Yeonjun was supposed to be dying his hair pink soon, and that tall frame and broad back look suspiciously familiar, and he still hasn’t sent you any texts, and you think that maybe he was just getting some takeout and heading back home but then he turns away from the counter and heads to your corner of the building. Your mouth goes dry, all the air still and stale in your lungs as his eyes land on yours. He looks away and then looks back again, double taking as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. As if he hadn’t been the one to invite you out to Korea, as if you hadn’t shared a bed last night. And then he moves, finally, walks away from the counter and toward your table with a tray piled with food and your heart hammers against your ribs as he walks right by and settles into the seat across from the perfect girl. She smiles wide as he unloads the food and settles in. 
There’s nothing you can do but stare and fight the sting of your eyes until your waiter comes back around, notices your untouched food and asks if you want a takeout container. You say yes loud enough for Yeonjun to hear, and you can see him flinch but you know he won’t turn around. Not in public, with all these people around. Not when he’s an idol and you’re just a normal girl- a fucking tourist- and not when Miss Perfect is giggling her perfect laugh at whatever he just said. 
The air outside is cold and it stings. Your face is wet but you don’t try to hide it. You don’t know any of these people, and they will never see you again. They probably won’t even remember that you cried on the walk home, weighed down with bags of food and clothes and the knowledge that Yeonjun was lying. 
When you return to the dorm Beomgyu, Soobin and Taehyun are hanging around the living room, watching something on the television. 
“Hey- where’s Yeonjun? He said he was going to dinner, we assumed he was meeting you.” Soobin asks, his tone cautiously trying to hide his confusion. 
“Well, I did go to dinner,” you lift up the bags on your arm, “and so did Yeonjun. At the same place.” Your voice clips and you take a moment wonder if you should go on until Beomgyu mutters a soft “oh”. 
“Well, here’s some food.” The plastic bag thuds on the coffee table. “Not hungry.”
----
You don’t know what time it is when Yeonjun decides to come back, but you have no plans of acknowledging his presence. The room is dimmed, only a bedside lamp left to keep you out of total darkness. You are perfectly content to simmer in your own anger for the night, let him feel it radiate off of your back the whole time you sleep. Until he has the audacity to ask, “Hey, what’s wrong?” You see red in the dark room. Your fingers clench into the pillow, making a victim out of the poor feathers and fabric as you contemplate throwing it at his head. His new hair looks even nicer in the low light; nearly fluorescent and falling in a perfectly styled arc around his face.
“Don’t do that. Act like you don’t know.” You spit. Yeonjun says nothing but he clears his throat awkwardly, as if he’s about to make an argument, but you beat him to it. 
“At least tell me who she is.” You try to hide the waver of your voice but it’s already there to stay. 
“She’s no one! I’m not really supposed to tell anyone about it yet, the guys don’t even know-” 
“They don’t know what? That you’re keeping two different girls in your pocket? Can’t even commit to one for a week long vacation? Jesus, Yeonjun, If you want to...cheat on me, at least wait until I’m not in the country. Fuck, I can’t even call it cheating because you don’t even want to date me! We only met up again a few months ago, and we spent one day together! And we fucked and it was nice and it was fun but what the fuck was it really? I texted you today, you know, to ask where the hell you were, and you never answered. I know that your life is busy, but a warning yesterday would have been nice.” 
“I’m not cheating on you! She’s not- she’s just, someone I- that’s not the point, Y/N! And I’m sorry I didn’t answer you, but I was really busy, and I forgot to bring it up and I’m sorry, but did you really expect me to hang around all day?” You grit your teeth to stop an annoyed screech from hopping out.
“Of course not, Yeonjun. I’m not an idiot. What I expected was some fucking communication. I traveled across the world to come see you, maybe even try to figure out what we are, and so far all I’ve done is wander around the city alone. This isn’t what I wanted to do! I’m missing a week of work for this! I didn’t come out here just to be your little plaything once you get home!” 
“That’s not what I’m doing!” Yeonjun stands up from the bed, rubbing his palms over the back of his neck. “I knew you would never understand. You can never understand how busy this lifestyle is, and I guess I was stupid for believing that you could understand, and that you wouldn’t be mad at me for having to go do my fucking job.” 
“I don’t understand? I don’t understand your life? Will you ever just admit that you only like me because you can mold me around your shit? When I’m back home you can call me at any hour that works for you, and I’ll pick up. You can bitch about your job and your friends and your company and all the pain you have but whenever I call you you’re tired or sick or just don’t feel like it. Guess fucking what Yeonjun. I’m here now. And we share a room and a bed and a city so you can’t keep me miles away and at your beck and call whenever you so well please. I’m right in front of you now, and you need to own up to your shit. You ignored me. Now you’re lying about whoever the fuck that girl was. You don’t get to be a prick just because you’re a famous idol.” Your face is hot and your hands are shaking. Sweat is beading on your forehead just like it did this morning and it makes you itch but you refuse to move a single muscle, hardened to the spot and staring Yeonjun down. You can’t even remember how the argument started, but all you know now is that you can’t stand to look at him any longer. His eyes are wide, bottom lip wobbling. Tears sting at your eyes and your nose burns and you’re ready to lay down or maybe chug a bottle of vodka. 
“I’m going to bed.” You pull the covers over you even though you’re sweltering, turn off the bedside lamp with the switch and clamp your eyes shut. 
----
Your brain never shuts off. Even when you slam your eyes shut and start counting metaphorical sheep, you’re still replaying the argument on a relentless loop. Yeonjun had left the room moments after you tucked yourself in and you had yet to hear the door creak to announce his reappearance, so it was safe to assume that he was sleeping on the couch or holed up with another one of the boys. Or maybe he went crawling back to Miss Perfect. 
The room is suffocating; heat simmers off of every surface even after you’ve thrown off the sheets and the white walls are annoying you. If you ever talk to Yeonjun again it will have to be about his piss poor decorating skills and the fact that he couldn’t even manage to hang up some pictures to break up the never ending white. Your phone says it’s just minutes shy of 2 am, but what does that really mean when you have no idea what time you laid down? Your legs move before your mind decides where you’re going, seemingly possessed by the idea of leaving the room as fast as possible. There’s just enough time to shrug on a crewneck and a pair of sneakers before you find yourself under the blinding fluorescents of the hall that remind you exactly where you are. Tall, sturdy black doors stand on both sides of you, metal accents gleaming and boasting their contents. There’s no easy way to understand the layout of the building, and you assume that’s for the protection of the idols, but it also means that you completely forget the only route you know for leaving the building.  
Had you taken a left or a right? Did you pass by the hallway next to the ladies bathroom or go down it? Had there always been a potted plant next to that office, or did all of the doors just look similar? Somehow, you find yourself back in the place you had first been delivered to when you arrived. The doors were slightly different here, some made of thick wavy glass that was vaguely transparent and others made out of the same black you had become used to. A set of three rooms with the wavy glass were right next to one another, and if your suspicions were correct they were all practice rooms, presumably empty at the lack of music. The thought of the rooms, empty and clean and sporting just enough comfortable furniture in the corner for you to sprawl out on. There was no way that sleep was going to overcome you, but at least you could feel secure in your loneliness for a few hours. 
The metal handle was cold, chilling your sweaty palm instantly, but you’re met with harsh resistance. It doesn’t budge forward no matter how hard you push downward and lean into the door. Out of anger you try one more time, grunting and digging your heels into the carpet of the hallway. 
“You need a card to get in.” A voice calls from what must just be steps behind you, and you jump embarrassingly high before turning reluctantly. Surely some poor late-shift cleaner or intern had seen you struggling with the door and decided to take pity on you before someone really saw you making a fool of yourself. You could only imagine what they were thinking- how they would go home to their pets or family or friends and laugh about the girl they saw throwing her entire weight against a locked door.
But in the split second your neurons begin to fire anew, you know that you weren’t lucky enough to be discovered by another normal member of society. On this already annoyingly unlucky night you come face to face with- once again- Jeon Jungkook. You flush immediately and pull at the hem of your shorts until they do a better job at covering your thighs. You’re still sweaty, strands of hair matted to the back of your neck and your forehead, and the fact that it’s sometime past 2 am and you’ve yelled and cried and tossed and turned and cursed everything that led you to this moment only makes you look worse.  
And, of course, even though it’s sometime past 2 am and maybe Jungkook had also been sweating and tossing and turning and cursing everything too...he still manages to look like an angel. His hair is unruly, all loose and wavy and sticking up in some places. His outfit is almost identical to what you first saw him in, but this it was black instead of gray, and his sleeves are bunched at the elbow, only affording you half a look at his lithe muscles and tattoos. His lips split in the same toothy grin as he gestures a small plastic card your way. How dare he look so handsome no matter the circumstance. He’s so much closer than he had been before, merely a foot away from you in the narrow hallway. Up this close you can see how perfect his skin is, as smooth and pore less as Yeonjun’s and Miss Perfect’s. 
“No, I don’t need it.” You dismiss his hand with a small wave, sour after reminding yourself why you were here to begin with. 
“Seems like you do?” Jungkook’s voice was oddly small too. He retracts his hand halfway, making sure you could still take it from him if you want to. 
“No, what I need is a new boyfriend.” You spit the words before your conscious can review them, before you can remember that Yeonjun isn’t your boyfriend, that he isn’t technically anything except a rekindled flame you traveled across the world for. Jungkook pulls his arm all the way back and his face softens. You know he puts the pieces together quickly and you can feel the sympathy pass through the hall.  “Nevermind. I’m sure you’re busy, or need to pass by or- yeah, sorry.” You stand aside, press against the wall and wait for him to walk away, but he stays grounded and levels his soft but deadly gaze on you. It’s an unwelcome reminder that he’s one of the most famous idols in the world and you’re standing in the middle of his company building; tired and teary.
“Did you fight? Is that why you’re wondering through our part of the building alone?” He gestures at one of the doors further down the hallway, a solid black one, and you can make out a shiny plaque with his name on it and some cute little decorations taped on the wall. 
“I’m so sorry, I can’t find my way around this place- I just couldn’t sleep so I wandered and I guess I ended up in...your part of the building.” You can feel the heat radiate off of your face as he smiles again, nose scrunching at your panic. 
“Cute.” His nose wiggles one more time before he schools his features as if the word didn’t nearly knock you on your ass. Cute. Cute! He has the audacity to stand here in the middle of the night and call you cute. “Seriously, if you need somewhere to sit down or sleep, there’s a couch in my studio, it’s clean in there, you can-”
“Oh, no! Jungkook,” you blush stupidly at using his name, “I can’t ask you to do that. I’ll just circle back to Yeonjun’s and sleep it off.” The thought makes your stomach churn, the idea of trying to fall asleep in the exact room your almost relationship fell to pieces. Surely the carpet couldn’t be too uncomfortable-
“No, please, I’m offering. You look tired, and if you fought...well, I know how awkward it can be in the morning. Come on.” He walks away before you can protest and some other worldly sense makes you follow him. You never expected to be in this position, but you also never thought that Yeonjun would disappoint you so much. Inside of the partially padded studio is a surprisingly large sofa with a charming patchwork blanket draped over the back. Jungkook stands awkwardly next to his desk and picks at his fingernails as you sit down. You sink in to the couch and instantly feel more comfortable than you have in days, the soft scent of lavender and the warm yellow lights bring you as close to relaxation as you can get. 
“I saw him with another girl.” You lose your filter again and Jungkook’s eyes narrow. “He says it wasn’t a date, but he also won’t tell me who she was, and the rest of them all thought he was with me so he’s obviously lying. We aren’t technically dating, so can I even be mad? He’s lying no matter what, and he didn’t even tell me he would be out all day or text me during it. But I also still have three more days to stick out here.” A few hot tears are slipping down your face and you can’t help but feel insecure about them. 
Jungkook says nothing of the tears but chews thoughtfully on his thumbnail. He leans his hip against his desk, intimidating and sharp yet soft and handsome and sweet for letting you stay here and spill your anger into his studio. His socked foot taps on the floor in a rhythm unknown to you, and you can’t help but wonder how many people would kill to be in your exact spot. You notice a day-by-day calendar that’s quite a few days behind on his desk, and it makes you smile until he’s moving, lowering himself to the floor just a few inches away from your feet. 
His fists clench- subtle enough that you wouldn’t even notice if the room didn’t feel so charged- and as he looks up at you, you see that a look somewhere between anger and pity paints his face. It’s embarrassing to sit here like this, so clearly under his scrutiny with nothing but your pajamas to cover you. 
“I’m sorry.” Jungkook finally speaks again and shakes his head so much that a few ebony pieces of hair slip into his eyes in a near-perfect arc. You shrug. “Really, Y/N. I’m sorry. That’s an asshole move, no matter who the other girl is. You don’t deserve to be treated like that, and after all the trouble you put in to come out here and see him-he’s lucky we don’t cross paths often.” He sighs and suddenly he’s sitting next to you on the couch, the weight and heat of his body making the situation that much more real and that much more odd. You must still have unshed tears lining your eyes when you find the courage to look up at him because he frowns. “Please, don’t cry! It’s the first time I’ve ever had a girl in here, and well, it’d be pretty embarrassing if she spends the whole time crying.” 
A shit eating grin sprouts on his face as soon as he sees your lips upturn with laughter. It’s hard not to be grateful for the joke, so you laugh and thank him for trying to make you feel better. 
“And thanks again, for the place to sleep. Or, try.” You have a feeling that sleep will evade you all night, no matter how cozy the room makes you. 
“If you don’t think you’re going to sleep-” Jungkook stands suddenly and rushes over to his desk. When he gets there, he turns his wide desktop computer until it faces the couch and logs in. “Then at least watch some movies! Here,” he puts a wireless keyboard in your lap- “whatever you wanna watch, I have it all.” You hesitate for just a moment and then type in the title of one of your favorite films with seconds to spare before Jungkook throws the patchwork blanket over both of your laps. He sinks back into the couch and you follow his lead, careful to keep a good few inches of space between the two of you because holy shit, you’re sitting next to Jungkook, and holy shit he’s watching a movie with you, and holy shit he just saw you cry and he looks so handsome from the side. 
You pay more attention to Jungkook than you do the movie. It’s funny to watch someone who feels so extraordinary do something as normal as watching a movie and realize that he really is human. And the way he crinkles his nose and widens his doe-eyes makes your heart stutter with attraction and then guilt at the thought of Yeonjun, who still makes your palms sweat and your heart shake with anticipation of his touch despite your argument. 
But here’s Jungkook, being kind and open and raw and willing to stay up with you on this random sleepless night although you only met by chance mere hours ago. And his kind eyes widen and narrow and crinkle when he laughs at the movie, and he offers you a second blanket and a throw pillow when your eyes get too heavy for you to focus, and you don’t think that you’re imagining things as you feel gentle fingers comb through your hair. 
----
Your head feels like it’s filled with cotton when you wake up, confusion soaks your senses as you piece together where you are and how you got there and who’s lap your head is laying in. As if he could read your thoughts, Jungkook lets out a long and loud groan from above you. Clearly he had fallen asleep where he is now, head lolled against the back of the couch and a throw pillow folded between his arms. 
“Good morning.” He drawls, voice still deep and thick from slumber. Out of all the things you never thought you would do, waking up to Jungkook is near to the top. 
“M-morning.” You manage to call back as you run your hands over your face, hoping to absolve yourself of any evidence of shock. Jungkook’s studio is just as welcoming as it had been to you last night, but now a deep sense of guilt creeps through you. Yeonjun might have woken up by now, maybe he was ready to talk and try to make things better, maybe he’s been calling and texting you and you haven’t seen any of it. Your phone is nowhere to be found as you dig around in the blanket, a noise of distress clawing up the back of your throat. Heart pounding, you put a hand underneath the couch and slide it back and forth until your fingers graze over the cold, hard mass that must be your phone. As soon as it’s in your grasp you can see that the time is just a few minutes past 8am, and that you indeed do have a few texts waiting from Yeonjun. 
“Oh, Jungkook, thank you again for-y-you know, but I have to go, do you mind showing me which way to go?” Poor sense of direction had landed you here to begin with, and you wouldn’t let it make this problem any bigger again. Thankfully he doesn’t protest; just waits by the door as you straighten out your pajamas. Out in the hallway, the lights are bright and imposing and you recognize a headache from the late night is starting to creep up behind your eyes. No one really seems to be around to see the two of you, and you are nothing short of grateful for that when Jungkook makes a quick stop and you barrel into his back, face burning with embarrassment. He laughs as you sputter apologizes and wave for him to keep leading the way, but he insists on stopping and turning to face you. His face is puffy with sleep, eyes still scrunching against the lights, but they’re still clear and gentle and it’s hard to miss the teasing twitch of his full lips in such close proximity.
A wave of admiration crashes through you, followed quickly by a sickening feeling of guilt. Yeonjun was probably waiting for you to come talk things out, and here you were drooling over a different boy. “I’m okay, lets keep going.” Urging him on with a gentle push to his muscled back is the most you can do since you still don’t notice anything distinctive to lead you back to the correct dorm. Just a few more steps down the hallway and you can hear voices, overlapping shouts,  and one voice you would recognize anywhere coming from the way you were about to turn. Before you even had time to open your mouth to voice your concern to Jungkook, Yeonjun is stomping down the hallway, a panicked looking Taehyun in tow. 
His face is draw, sharp features heightened by either confusion or anger- it’s hard to tell- as he realizes who’s standing in front of him. The two boys are fairly evenly matched in height but Yeonjun still squares up, lifting his shoulders higher and craning his neck. You know he knows you’re there; you shared a moment of eye contact in the seconds before he leveled a glare at Jungkook. 
“What the fuck are you doing?” Yeonjun spits, anger shaking the fists at his sides. Jungkook is shocked, you can tell even from behind him, the way he recoils just slightly and scoffs as if he can’t believe his ears. 
“Look, this doesn’t need to be a fight. I was just helping Y/N get back to your dorm.” You’re amazed at how well he controls his anger, especially after seeing the anger he held back against Yeonjun the night before. You take this as a queue to step out from behind Jungkook’s frame, allowing Yeonjun a better look at you. 
“Oh, before or after she spent the night in your studio? Just couldn’t resist giving her a place to stay. Someone to sleep with?” Anger flares in your stomach, lighting a fire underneath your skin. 
“What the fuck, Yeonjun? Do you really think that I would-”
“Sleep with him? Of course. Why wouldn’t you? Look at the state of you two, don’t tell me you didn’t fuck.” There was simply no believing what was coming out of his mouth, and his words only made you wish that you had acted on the feelings you felt brewing last night. 
“What if I did? You certainly don’t want me! I’m sorry I went looking for companionship somewhere else!” It’s much too quiet in the hallway after that, the only evidence that the world hadn’t stopped turning is Jungkook’s hand that comes up to rest on your shoulder. 
“So you did.” Yeonjun rubs his chin, taking a step backwards in what you assume is disbelief. Tears creep into the corners of your eyes, stubbornly burning and forcing you to blink until your vision is blurry. Jungkook says something you don’t quite catch through the static buzzing in your ears. You feel exhausted, weak at the knees with disbelief at just how awful this interaction was going; so lost that it takes Jungkook shaking your shoulder to bring you back to reality. 
“Please, I don’t want to talk about this here. Yeonjun, let’s go, please.” You beg, walking toward him before he even responds. The idea of being caught in this odd trifecta made you sweat. Jungkook protests but you wave him off quickly, assuring that there was nothing else he could do. As upset as Yeonjun was, you knew that he would calm down substantially once the older boy was gone. 
The walk to the dorm is thankfully short, and Taehyun tries his best at making small talk while Yeonjun trails behind like a petulant child. As soon as you cross into the dorm you feel awkward and hot all over like everyone is watching you even though Taehyun is already disappearing into his room and locking the door while Yeonjun breezes right past you. 
“I’m not playing the silent game.” You follow Yeonjun into the kitchen where he has his head buried in the fridge, making a point to rattle every bottle and package inside of it. 
“Alright, fine. Then you get to tell me the truth.” His voice is softer now, much less elevated and harsh than it was just minutes before. “Did you spend the night with him?” It rattles your bones to hear the edge of hurt in his voice. 
“I was wandering around the building in the middle of the night, and he was too- so I told him what was going on and he offered for me to stay in his studio, on the couch. And I said yes-” Yeonjun’s face crumples. “We watched a movie and I fell asleep.” 
“Why didn’t you just come back? I texted you, Y/N. We literally just argued about communication and the first thing you do is run to a different guy? If I’m not good enough for you, just admit it.” 
“I could say the same exact thing to you. Why am I here? Should I just book a flight home tonight and call it quits? Do you even want to try this?” Yeonjun cracks open a bottle of water and drinks half in one go, avoiding your gaze at all costs. “And I did nothing with Jungkook. Because I respect you, and whatever the fuck this-” You gesture between the two of you, feet apart, “is. Or was.” 
“Don’t say that.” Yeonjun’s voice cracks, reminiscent of the way he used to sound on the phone when he called you at the end of the day. “I- I don’t want to hear you say that. Please.” A tremor of hurt shakes your bones, creates an unpleasant lump in your throat that you try and fail to swallow. Yeonjun appears to you now as similar as he did in your teenage years; uncertain and small and his wide, glassy eyes latching on to you like a lifeline. And you can’t help but remember how you used to be too; devoted to him and naïve about where life was going to take you. 
“I don’t want to say it either, Yeonjun. I hate saying it. But we aren’t the same people we were all those years ago. We’re in two different lives, and as much as I want to be able to fit into yours...it’s never going to happen.” Your body weight feels suddenly too much, like you’re being filled with lead and sunk to the bottom of the ocean to be forgotten. Yeonjun finally closes your perpetual gap in a slow gait that seemed like it would last forever. His eyes are red, puffy, rimmed with unshed tears. Dark circles ring his eyes and you know they’re because he probably didn’t sleep last night either. His lips are chapped and dry, pouting in an incurable sadness. Your fingers itch to cup his jaw and litter him with kisses until he finally grins. 
“Are you saying you don’t love me?” If any other noise had happened at the same time he spoke, you wouldn’t have heard the question. A stake strikes through your heart at the words, scarring your soul for years to come. 
“No, Junnie. I love you so much.” Your bottom lip wobbles and you gasp out a sob, “I just don’t think we’re going to work this time around. We’re both too busy, and on different tracks, and I think we just have to be more r-realistic.” You have to close your eyes, unable to watch the way tears begin to cascade down his own face. “I’m sorry.” You stand alone, still and cold and clamping your eyes shut so hard that they hurt. 
Yeonjun’s body molds around your form, tight and warm and shuddering slightly from his own tears. He smells like laundry detergent and musk and you shake with regret as his arms wind around your back and hold you as close to his frame as you think is humanly possible. Your tears soak his crewneck as the fabric scratches your skin. His heart beat is erratic, but you know yours isn’t fairing any better, and you can’t help but curse the universe for bringing you all this way with him just to shoot you back down. 
“I’m sorry too. For not being enough.” His words rumble into your hair and you can’t even find the energy to refute them and instead just shake your head. Your head spins in wild circle as Yeonjun finally stops shaking underneath you in favor of cupping your face in tender hands, forcing you to open your eyes. His look felt more intimate than anything else you had shared before; a pure and expressive opening into his most vulnerable form and the knowledge that you were the reason he was feeling it. 
“I think I should try to catch an earlier flight home.” You aren’t quite sure exactly why you say it, but Yeonjun doesn’t seem surprised at the notion. After all, there would be nothing to stick around for. He still had to work and you had no relationship left to hang on to. You hadn’t even gotten around to unpacking your suitcase. Yeonjun nods sadly, wiping at a few more tears before clearing his throat. His voice is thick, the evidence of his emotion loud and clear and your heart breaks at the thought of truly walking away from him. 
“I’ll miss you, Y/N.” There’s no telling if he would ever contact you after this, or if you would contact him. Maybe the two of you will live with odd shadows of one another in the back of your heads for the rest of your lives- a teenage romance rekindled years later only to explode and crackle and eventually fade into the dark.
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Text
Request: Pyro/Reader--Fighting
Pyro x reader
Word Count: 1110
Request: @kyn-lyn-blog asked: Heyo may I request a john allerdyce x reader where they get into a huge fight (very angsty at first) and bother are ignoring the other and it turns into a who will give in and apologize first type thing but as it goes on it turns more and more into teasing and trying to get the other to break and goes from massive angst to playful. You can decide who gives in if any or if they just break code and make up. any time will do it doesn't matter (before he joins the BH or after ) thank you!!!
Power: Sharpshooting--the ability to shoot and always hit your target even around corners. Specific to guns. Range--one mile.
He was worried about your relationship; you could tell by the way you kept catching him looking at you with concern burning in those burning, brown eyes of his. Good. He deserved it after all the bullshit he’d put you through in the last couple weeks. How many times had he blown you off in favor of going to harass Bobby about his little crush on Rogue? Ever since she arrived at the manor, that girl had put about 17 wrenches in the way your little trio operated, and you’d tolerated it right up until the point that it started interfering with your actual relationship. 
The nonsense had to stop.
And when you’d voiced that opinion to John, of course it’d blown up into a fight. You saying you just wanted your boyfriend back; him claiming that he never left and ‘surely you’re imagining it; I only cancelled like twice!’
Needless to say, you hadn’t talked to any of them in two weeks, and honestly, it was doing wonders for your stress levels.
“Sniper!” Storm called for your attention by shouting your codename. It was simple, honest about what your powers were in a way that others like Rogue weren’t. “You’re pairing up with Pyro.”
Of fucking course.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I don’t think that’s such a great idea professor,” Kitty commented. “I think they’re fighting right now.”
“Even better. We have to be able to work as a team even if we don’t necessarily get along. You’re objective will be to run the course and escort a ‘civilian’ without letting them get hurt. Iceman, you’ll be the civilian. No powers.”
“This’ll end well,” Piotr muttered.
“Odds she shoots them both?” That was someone in the back; you couldn’t place who.
“Too damn high.” And that was Wolverine.
It’d been an ordeal to get the professor to allow you to keep your weapons on you when they’d first dragged you here kicking and screaming. They’d argued that you should only have them in the training room, and you weren’t really keen on being defenseless without your power in a strange environment. Guns weren’t exactly something he was keen on having in his home, but you managed to wear him down after a particularly nasty screaming deathmatch with Scott. Finally, the argument that stuck was, “How can my guns be more dangerous than a kid who can sling fire from his hands??” Still, you weren’t likely to risk having them confiscated because you decided to go wild and shoot your classmates.
“Whatever,” you muttered, pulling one of the pistols from its place on your thigh. You had two others in holsters on you: the other thigh and under your arm. You figured you probably didn’t need more than the one, though. “Let’s get this shit show going.”
The computer’s voice sounded the countdown as the doors closed behind the three of you. “Three. Two. One. Simulation start.”
And everything promptly went to shit since apparently this was a doomsday scenario where the entirety of Manhattan Island was on fire around you. Good for John, bad for your visibility.
Quickly, you popped off a couple rounds at the robots that were set up on the roof to your left. “I’m gonna get a bird’s eye view. See if I can see the finish line.”
“Great, let’s go,” John replied, immediately moving to follow.
“Uh-uh. You stay down here and deal with him. I’m not dragging your asses across the rooftops.” Honestly, John would probably be fine given his life before the school, but there was no way Bobby would be able to keep up without his powers.
“That won’t be safe,” Bobby complained. 
You shook your head. He may have been the usual leader to your little team, but not this time. “The firebug can cover you.” Fight or no, you didn’t resist the urge to give him a cheeky little wink before jogging into the nearest building.
Over the next several minutes, your plan to watch their backs from above worked brilliantly and you made quick progress towards the goal. Right up until a swarm of little buzzing robots made a beeline for you. There were too many for you to shoot even with your power; you just couldn’t pull the trigger fast enough. You were pinned with your back to the gravel roof.
Then suddenly the sky was alight above you.
As soon as it was safe, you whipped your head around to see the boys standing at the top of the stairwell about fifteen feet from you. “Well I hope you like looking at me without my eyebrows for a while,” you quipped breathlessly. The word ‘thanks’ was on the tip of your tongue, but you didn’t want to give your boyfriend the satisfaction.
“I mean, there are other things to look at than just your face,” John grinned.
“Oh, gross!” Bobby complained, walking towards the little flag on the next roof that marked the drop-off point. 
“He gets like that when you remind him that other people can actually have sex with their girlfriends,” you jabbed while he was still in earshot.
Iceman’s only retort was to give you the finger over his shoulder.
“Speaking of sex . . .”
You rolled your eyes once more. “Really, Johnny? In the middle of a simulation? In the middle of a fight?”
He held his hands up in mock surrender. “Well, I was gonna apologize for the whole thing, but since you’re not interested . . .”
“John Allerdyce,” you growled.
“Alright, alright, I’m sorry. You were right; I shouldn’t have blown you off like that.” He smirked, pulling a little flame to him to have it dance between his fingers. “Besides, it’s so much more fun to fuck with him when you’re around.”
Snarling, you squeezed the trigger where your hand was loosely holding the gun at your side; the bullet lodged itself into the ground between his feet without you even having to aim. “Do this shit again, Johnny, and I’ll be making you dance.”
There was a lustful heat in his eyes as he stared into yours. He hadn’t even flinched at the shot; he knew you wouldn’t hurt him. “That’s kinda hot. Maybe I should piss you off more often.”
“Do it, firebug,” you challenged, annoyed despite the smirk pulling at your mouth, “and we’ll see just how good my aim really is.”
“Alright you two,” Wolverine called, breaking up the rather aggressive display of flirting, “break it up. You’re done here for the night.”
“First one to my room gets to dump water on Drake and Rogue from the second floor?” Pyro proposed. 
“Only if we put ice in it.”
“You’re on!”
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thetaoofbetty · 3 years
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i'm busy but i'm gonna throw these anons under the cut so their voices get heard even if i really don't think the voicemail is/going to be a big deal in the end. i do, however, think the fandom reaction makes me think less of all these teenagers (and some adults) on twitter tho.
people making jughead making a mistake into it still being totally about betty's mistakes is very telling and loud. people want fully fleshed out and complicated characters until they get them. people make mistakes. that's part of being human. forgiveness, even if it's only us forgiving ourselves, is how we grow.
see you on the other side.💜
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"yes she deserves it"
literally gonna need some people to realize that losing her relationship and her best friend was the consequence for her actions, people thinking she needs further punishment and hoping jughead calls betty a cunt by the same stan twitter teens who will scream about giving their fave males second chances and "he learned his lessons, he apologized!" pretty much tells you everything you need to know about how women treat women.
Anonymous asked:
veronica forgave archie, jughead still talks to archie, archie hasn't suffered any fucking consequences of his actions. but betty? betty is constantly hated by the fandom, jughead stans have already started saying that she deserves it, making misogynists comments when, dare i remind them, she stopped that shit. yes maybe for what she did she deserves it but archie is everyone's golden boy, no one said anything about him, because being archie is “something he would do”. bullshit !! if the roles were reversed people would say she's a whore and jughead doesn't deserve all those words because it was just a kiss from a traumatized kid. and I'm not even angry with jug because i love him too. i just hate this show and misogenic fandom. betty always has the consequences, archie doesn't because he's archie. this fandom is still mad at ONLY betty for the kiss !! because she hurt their favorite male character. why everyone including VERONICA AND JUGHEAD moved on but not them???? and why archie is gonna get his girl so easily and betty needs to suffer??? i don’t get it. maybe i’m too young, maybe you know more about fandoms than i do but i will never understand why betty is the only character that has to face consequences. i hope with ur takes this voicemail thing will be more easy to face with all this betty hate out there…people really like to make you feel bad by liking a flawed female fictional character.
i've been labeled a betty worshipper, ha. i love betty and jughead. i think they're both imperfect people who are perfect for each other.
i'm okay with them both making mistakes and getting past them.
i also think archie is rarely held nearly as accountable and men, in general, are given leeway that women (fake, real, and everything in between) are never given. so it irks me, yes.
and yes, there's a shit ton of horrifying amounts of sexism in all fandom spaces i've discovered. ask me about my time in the star wars trenches one day, haha.
Anonymous asked:
wow ginger judas really got away from everything. vas saying that no one deserves to be cheated on, yet they're so in hype for their epic reunion. jug stans can't stand the fact that they're making him make a mistake when the writers made betty the villain all this time, red-headed boy instead was vibing with his so-called bestie whose kissed his gf and didn't even stopped ! it's just angst, they're making bh hurt each other for plot. if y'all so scared your man is gonna be the "bad guy" why betty, a woman, has to be called bitch all this time. i'm gonna defend both jughead and betty always but i can't stand the fact that a woman is treated like this in the fandom. i mean NO ONE GAVE A FUCK ABOUT ARCHIE CHEATING. but betty? betty is a slut ! betty deserves it ! betty is the only one who as to suffer ! really fuck all of this.
genuinely sort of amazed how some of that fandom really turned it around to make archie some sort of martyr like he wasn't part of the equation.
and you're right, archie got handed excuses by people who don't even like him and betty got called a whore. can't imagine why...🤔
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a-lil-bi-furious · 2 years
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finale rewrite and/or what's in a friend? 👀👀
ohhh, thank you! 🥰💜
finale rewrite
I do not have a snippet for this unfortunately, but my interest in it has been renewed recently and I have many ideas! I’ve always been disappointed with how the finale handled Scott’s battle with the anuk-ite (although I will say @daughterofluthien​‘s brilliant meta on it was very convincing to the contrary) and his injuries after.
I think a lot about how the anuk-ite did a very good job identifying Scott’s trauma, but not a great job using it against him. I think it used his fear of failure well and appealed to Scott’s tendency for suicidal ideation, but failed to capitalize on what I see as Scott’s deepest fear--himself. Time and again throughout the series, we’re shown how terrified Scott is of being seen as a monster, becoming a monster, and hurting others (especially the people he cares about). The anuk-ite scene missed this mark for me (much like the Berserker scene in the S4 finale but that’s another conversation...) I want to fix it. I also am interested in exploring that scene more in depth than the show was able to. Imagine the things the anuk-ite could dig up in that time, the tools in its arsenal....
But also! As much as I enjoy Scalia (and I do!), I was dissatisfied with the whole Big Damn Kiss Saves the Day with the healing/pain-taking. I think there were more meaningful ways they could have handled that. One of them I’ve been toying with would be Theo. 
First of all, the sheer angst potential of a blinded, injured Scott on the same stairs he died on having to trust theo of all people to help him! When the last time they were here, Theo killed him!! But now! Theo help him!! Theo take his pain so he heal!! It goes bananas. (Consider also that maybe at some point the anuk-ite took Theo’s form 👀) Also, on Theo’s end, though I do see a lot of value in Theo taking Gabe’s pain and being able to see himself in a stranger, it would resonate more with me personally if the beginning step of Theo’s redemption arc was to take Scott’s pain after everything he put Scott through. To care about Scott not as a means to an end, not as a tool, not as someone for him to benefit from, but as a person, one who has suffered (at Theo’s hand) and always gives everything to help those around him, but now needs help in return. idk I just think it would be nice. 
What's in a Friend?
Ahhh, this is a meta I have planned to analyze Kira’s relationships. My argument, basically, is that Kira’s friendships prior to BH were more sparse and shallow than she lets on, based on her behavior. The way Kira acts when she’s first trying to make friends and later within her friendships (especially her relationship with Scott) leads me to believe she hasn’t experienced many (if any) relationships in which she was accepted and valued for everything she is, and that friends were difficult for her to make in NY too. To end on a more positive note, the ultimate point is that Kira’s relationships in Beacon Hills are that much more meaningful within the context of this analysis (but on a sadder note, this makes it all the more devastating when she has to leave them to be isolated in the desert).
I was hoping to write it for meta week but wound up without time to. 😔 
(Send me a WIP and I’ll tell you about it!)
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dilatedpupils95 · 3 years
Text
Cri de Coeur (IX)
Characters: Baekhyun x Y/N x Chanyeol
Series: Masterlist
Genre: Fluff; Angst; Eventual Smut
Summary: You are hopelessly in love with your best friend, Baekhyun, who, unfortunately, is locked up in a relationship with his girlfriend of nine years, Seri. These desperate feelings were always confided by you to your friend at work, Chanyeol, who, unfortunately, is in love with you. When Chanyeol solicits Baekhyun’s help to date you, Baekhyun realizes that he might feel a little more than niceties and friendship for his best friend.
Tags: @wooya1224 hello there :)
A/N: Hey, this chapter might be delving on moral issues, e.g. abortion. But as much as abortion is a moral issue for some, I firmly believe that it is likewise a health and freedom issue, especially for women. Women must have complete freedom and liberty over their own bodies, and anybody who doesn't have a uterus should remain mum on the matter. Women should be given options, and those options involve complete and total domination over their own bodies and fates.
If you feel like this chapter was somehow morally skewed, just remember that just like regular and ordinary people, the characters in this story are growing, changing, and constantly trying to make up for their past and fight their demons. I kindly ask you to wait for future chapters for the characters' redemption...because there will be.
In other news, I advise you to read the previous chapters before reading this one (specifically Chapters 2 and 7), so that you may fully appreciate this part of the story.
Also, I am happy to inform you all that this (and Chapter 8) is only the beginning of how the plot of this story thickens. I have so much planned ever since I started writing Chapter 1—each detail with meaning, each detail with a backstory—and it would mean a lot to me if you could all accompany me throughout the whole plot of this story. Because I promise that it gets even more interesting after this.
I hope this story eases a bit of the loneliness that we are all feeling (and would be feeling) with our boys' (BH and CY) enlistment.
Happy reading! :)
- Ilah
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“Babe? Oh I am so sorry again, I didn’t know about the engagement par—“
“WHY DID YOU GIVE THOSE TICKETS TO CHANYEOL?”
Seri barely had any time to stand up from the sofa when Baekhyun strode towards her, towering over her little frame with his loud and angry voice, his demeanor almost menacing and harsh. Her mouth was open, eyebrows knitted in confusion, as she tried in panic to recall what Baekhyun was talking about.
“What? What tickets? What are y—“
“JUST STOP WITH THE LIES ALREADY, SERI!”
Seri was dumbfounded. Chills started going up her spine, and she could feel the same coldness running up and down her head—the same ones she felt two years ago. The very same one that still wake her up from her deep slumber at night, as she wait for a text or call from Baekhyun.
She finally stood up from the sofa, carefully avoiding Baekhyun’s standing figure before her, and went towards the direction of the kitchen counter, trying to grab support from the piece of cold furniture. She was trying so hard to avoid Baekhyun’s glaring stare—the very same ones she has always longed to tame and comfort ever since that happened two years ago. But when Baekhyun followed her, demanding an answer to his question, she had no choice but to stare back at him, and watch in agony as she witnesses once again how those eyes could spit fire and disgust.
“You do know, Seri. Surely, you do know, how those tickets could affect Y/N so much. Surely you must know!” Baekhyun almost yelled, as if his words could drill in Seri’s mind what he was trying to desperately convey to her.
“I-I-I thought they were okay,” Seri explained, for the first time, finding the voice and strength to respond to Baekhyun. “I though she and Jae had made amends already.”
Baekhyun shook his head harshly. He looked up at the ceiling, trying to find some sense from the void; trying to find something to calm the frustration he was feeling towards Seri at this time.
“Well, guess what—they’re not, Seri! Y/N is still not fine, and Jae is still a fucking piece of asshole!”
Probably from the day’s series of unexpected events, the late hour wearing him off, or maybe the silence coming from Seri, Baekhyun felt his knees giving away, the strength and rage that he once felt when he entered Seri’s apartment slowly going out from his system, his mind finally realising that his girlfriend made a callous mistake of judgment and almost made his best friend succumb to anxiety and depression once again.
Baekhyun put both of his hands over his head, further disheveling the hair that was out of its form since the night took its turn. He drew a long sigh of exhaustion, feeling his nerves growing weakly through every breath; feeling his heart sinking deeply into his gut with every beat of his pulse.
“I am so sorry, babe.”
Baekhyun shook his head once more, not wanting to meet Seri’s eyes, and see the same cunning, lying, and selfish orbs that he has been seeing ever since that happened two years ago. Even the sound of her voice—pleading, almost crying, and frustrated—wears him off, and he could feel the same sense of dread, shock, and disbelief that he had experienced two years ago when that happened.
“No,” Baekhyun firmly said, “You’ve done quite a damage.”
“I am so sorry, I didn’t mean it.”
“No.”
“Baekhyun..”
“No, Seri. No.”
He wanted to yell at her, get mad, but knows that Seri would just think and feel whatever she wants to feel, without regard for his own. He wanted to lash out, but the mere thought that it would fall into deaf ears wears him off.
Baekhyun must have been on his mind for long, that he didn’t notice how Seri strode towards him in quick but calculated steps. The next thing Baekhyun knew, Seri was standing over him, her stance, accusatory and mad; her demeanor challenging and taunting.
“God, Baekhyun, how many times do I have to say sorry to you, huh?”
Baekhyun lifted his head so quickly that Seri took a step back. He looked at her like she was out of her mind, quite in disbelief how this kind of remorse can come from her.
“W-What?”
“What makes you all so high and mighty that you cannot forgive me, Baekhyun? What makes you so good that you have to hear me say a million apologies before I can melt away all the coldness in that beatless heart of yours, huh? Answer me!”
Seri is mad. She could feel the fury riding through her veins. She had enough of this set-up. She was fed up of saying sorry every time to Baekhyun as if everything that went downhill in his life was because of her. She was so tired of saying sorry even for the things she didn’t do.
“What makes Y/N so special that you had to be this miserable, huh? Just because I sent her tickets? Just because of that you had to go this crazy for her?
“Why? WHY BAEKHYUN?!
“She’s only your friend, Baekhyun! SHE’S JUST A FRIEND!
“AND I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND!”
Seri did not mean to be overbearing. She didn’t mean to make Baekhyun choose between Y/N and her. She knew—she has always known—how Baekhyun treats Y/N with extra attention and care, because the girl was feeble. Because she needs more help. Because she’s weaker compared to the rest of them. Because she’s not as brave, strong, and powerful compared to people like Seri.
Because Y/N is nothing like her.
But when Baekhyun said his next words, Seri felt her world broke down, it’s walls torn apart, once more.
“You want to know.. why?
“You really want to know why?!
Baekhyun advanced towards her, making sure Seri was staring at him and paying close attention to his words.
“Because there are actually some people like Y/N who gets anxiety and panic attacks at the mere mention of her ex’s name, unlike people like you who had fairly happy past relationships.
“Because there are actually some people like Y/N whose ex-boyfriends wrote songs for, detailing how he fell out of love from her, unlike people like you who always got exciting and over-the-top gifts from their boyfriends in the past.
“Because there are actually some people like Y/N who now suffers in pain with every single good thing inside of her breaking down, unlike you who don’t even know what remorse and grief are.
Baekhyun keeps on walking towards Seri, until she was cornered at the wall, and had no place else to go.
“Because there are actually some people like Y/N who wants to keep their pregnancies, instead of aborting an innocent child..”
Seri gulped, her eyes shaking, the tears threatening to fall down, fearing and knowing already what Baekhyun will say.
Baekhyun harshly whispered “..unlike you, just because.”
And just like that, the pain from two years ago resurfaced and flooded Seri’s heart with fear.
***
“That was the fourth time. This month. How many more do I have to endure?”
Seri looked at Baekhyun, now tearing off the tie from his suit, his chest heaving, the anger visible from his tensed shoulders.
“You should have just played along! You should have just gotten on with it, instead of being unreasonably annoyed right now!” Seri lashed out back, the annoyance in her voice very obvious, no ounce of effort on her part to hide the irritation and frustration that she had been feeling all evening towards Baekhyun.
“Are you hearing yourself?” Baekhyun stopped removing his jacket and went to Seri’s direction, trying to get a good look at her. “That was the fourth ambush engagement party just this month, Seri.”
“Exactly!” Seri yelled, picking up the shoe that she took off, and throwing it off harshly at god knows where. “Exactly, Baekhyun. And the least you could do is appreciate my mother’s effort at arranging an engagement party for us and just get on with one knee and give me the ring! That’s the least you could do!”
Baekhyun stared in disbelief at Seri. “You have got to be kidding me.”
He picked up the jacket he discarded, taking one last look at Seri, before picking up the tie that had loosened to the floor. “I’m going home.”
But before Baekhyun could pick up his shoes, Seri stopped him with her next words.
“I’m pregnant.”
Baekhyun paused in his tracks. Seri was expecting for him to look at her and finally end this never-ending debacle. But when Baekhyun shook his head, looking at Seri with a knowing smirk, she shivered.
“Yeah, right,” Baekhyun nonchalantly said, as he picks up his shoes, not sparing another glance at Seri.
Seri was furious. The annoyance she was feeling earlier tripled over Baekhyun’s empty response.
She has to do what she has to do.
She has to make him stay.
And marry her.
“If you go right now—if you even take one foot out of the door, I will abort this baby.
“I will abort your child, Baekhyun, if you don’t marry me.”
Baekhyun, however, was unperturbed by Seri’s words, slipping his socks-covered feet in his leather shoes, taking his time to fill the in-soles. The knowing smirk was still ghosting over his lips, the incredulous but disgust look still adorning his face.
“And that’s the fifth time you threatened me with pregnancy.” He said in a defiant tone. “I wonder how soon I’ll figure that you are faking this.” Baekhyun stooped to tuck in the laces of his shoes. “That last time took me almost three days and a visit to the OB.”
Baekhyun continued, “Have you ever thought just how many other women out there are wishing that they could be pregnant right now?”Baekhyun said, at this, clenching his fist, and tightening his jaw. He paused for a while, mindfully choosing his next words, careful not to falter or choke. “That they could still be pregnant right now?”
He put on the jacket and arranged the sleeves to fit his arms. “Just how many more imaginary babies are you gonna make up out of thin air to threaten me, Seri?”
Seri was red with anger. She could not believe she was humiliated so much by Baekhyun. She just wanted him to marry her—what’s so wrong with that? She could not take any more the pressures from her family, forcing her to just basically drag Baekhyun to the courthouse to marry her. She was so tired of their nags at her that she was not getting any younger; that the only thing keeping her from being a truly successful woman, is a marriage.
She had enough.
Seri was so livid, her eyes blinded with rage, when she lunged over Baekhyun, desperate to hurt him badly.
“I SAID DON’T TAKE ONE FOOT OUT OF THAT D—“
Baekhyun’s loud yell of pain woke Seri from the trance she was in. She looked at her hands, and saw faint streaks of blood on her newly manicured nails. When she looked up, she saw the fresh, red slashes, around Baekhyun’s neck, his face contorted with pain.
Seri wasn’t able to stop Baekhyun that night. She tried to call Baekhyun after that, but her calls went straight to voice mail. She didn’t mean to hurt him. She just wanted to make him stay. Hell—she just wanted a marriage with him, what’s so wrong with that?
It was around an hour later when Seri received a call from someone at Mercy Hospital. Seri didn’t even understand correctly what the the person on the other line told her. She just picked up the words “car accident”, “unconscious”, “may be badly hurt”, “fell asleep on the wheel,” and “Baekhyun”, when she sprinted for her purse and car keys, and raced to the hospital.
On her way there, she kept on crying, her mind clouded with Baekhyun’s images.
I cannot lose him like this, oh my God, please no.
I should have not told him that.
And what if he found out I’m really pregnant this time?
Would he leave me?
No, I cannot be pregnant this time.
Being pregnant at this time would mean losing him forever.
I cannot lose Baekhyun just because of this pregnancy.
Seri’s mind was full of thoughts like this as she drove up to the hospital. And when she finally found Baekhyun—safe and sound, and thankfully not much in pain—she decided to go to the obstetrics and gynecology department and terminate all her problems once and for all.
When Baekhyun woke up, he was greeted by a nurse who was tending to him for the last hour. She told him that Seri was there a little earlier but was just out to have her own medical check-up.
When Baekhyun asked why Seri had to go on a check-up, the nurse smiled sadly at him, and calmly reminded Baekhyun, “She had just gone through an abortion, yesterday, Sir. Didn’t she tell you?”
Baekhyun confronted Seri when she returned, his eyes brimming with tears, his voice almost wailing with grief at the loss of his own child. Now he knows what Y/N felt when she lost her child. Now he knows what loss and pain really felt like and how that made Y/N lose her mind.
Seri, however, was calm. “It’s okay! Come on, it’s not worth crying over,” she said, lifting Baekhyun’s chin, and smiling before him. “There are plenty more chances to make a baby when you’re already ready. Do you want to make one after you’ve recovered?”
Baekhyun was in shock. Who is this woman? “H-H-How can you talk like that? How can you talk about our child like it’s a replaceable thing?” Baekhyun said, wiping the tears that have been soaking his medical gown since earlier. “That was our child, Seri! Why did you abort our child?!”
Seri, however, remained unfazed. She looked at Baekhyun, and not knowing that her next words would mark Baekhyun in pain and brokenness forever, “Just because.”
***
Seri came back from her trance, lost in her memories once more, and was reminded that Baekhyun was there in front of him, demanding remorse from her. Demanding grief for their lost child.
“I-I-I.. Baek, I.. I have since repented for that, I..” Seri stuttered, the memories of the emptiness she felt once realisation hit her that she had aborted her child out of of her own twisted, selfish reasons. Her focus wavers, as her mind was flooded with the memories of the anguish she felt when it dawned upon her that she lost a precious little child because of her own thoughtless reasons; when she realised that she didn’t only lose her child two years ago.
She had also lost Baekhyun that night.
Seri approached closer trying to appeal her case, but when she tried to hug him, Baekhyun flinched, his hand, automatically going and protecting over the scar that she once inflicted on him.
When Baekhyun finally left her apartment, Seri finally let go of the wails and cries that she had been holding on for so long.
And so she grieved.
For the loss of her child.
And for losing Baekhyun once more.
***
“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!”
A loud, angry car honk woke Baekhyun up from his thoughts. He was staring mindlessly at the vast expanse of the road, his brain empty and unfeeling, that he didn’t even realize he stopped the car and was blocking the highway right now.
He quickly looked for an empty spot along the side of the road and pulled over. He turned off the engine, open the windows, and for the first time, let his lung breathe out all the air of frustration, fury, and loneliness that had rocked his world over night.
From the red tumbler at the cafe, to another ambush engagement party he had escaped from, to Y/N’s mysterious blackmailer, to her almost break down, to Chanyeol’s surprise visit, to the tickets, and to Seri’s confrontation—it was a wonder he still can move until now.
And oh, his almost confession of feelings for Y/N.
Wew. I need to breathe.
Baekhyun closed his eyes. The waves of emotions are crashing repeatedly ashore his heart, and he could feel it repeatedly taunting him. Yet despite the roller coaster of feelings, he could not feel anything. He almost wanted to physically tap his chest to evoke some sort of reaction—a yell, a cry, a shout— but nothing ever came out from him.
He was empty.
God was he so empty.
Just then, a truck with bright LED lights pulled over in front of him, Helena Bonham Carter’s face holding up a famous box of a tea brand, flashing before his eyes.
Baekhyun smiled.
If only I could be saved once again by my "savior".
He looked at Helena’s playful smirk before him, his eyes lonely as they stare back into the actress’s, familiar to him as “Princess Margaret” in The Crown—a series he once was very obsessed about.
Suddenly, that day flashed before his mind, when in the dim classroom during Professor Brown’s lecture in Constitutional Law, he first laid his eyes upon whom he later called as his “savior”: powder blue hoodie, small framed shoulders, and a brightly-lit laptop screen, showing Helena Bonham Carter’s Princess Margaret swimming in an emerald green pool with Harry Treadaway’s character, Roddy Llewellyn.
And just like that, with Helena Bonham Carter’s help, he found his savior.
Can you just save me—just one more time, from this hell I am now in—my dear savior?
My "cri de coeur"?
But all Baekhyun could do was sigh in silence and stare off at a distance.
62 notes · View notes
sterekficrec · 3 years
Text
Last Chance Asks!
Hey guys, these are asks that have been on our lost fic list for a very long time, I'm going to put them here so we can still save them and that we'll create more room for new lost fics that have yet to be found. If you find any of these let me know by using the number and mention it's from the last chance list, thank you in advance :)
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1.
Hey, I've been looking for this fic for months and can't seem to find it. It's about stiles leaving BH to get away from the supernatural but in the city he goes to he meets an old female alpha who knew Talia. He becomes frds w her and lends her a book which she gives to Derek who spills coffee on it and when he goes to the bookstore he meets stiles there. I think the pack moved too and is living in a house together for school. I looked everywhere and couldn't find it, help please and thanks
2.
I've just started reading this fic, it's pretty short when my laptop died so I can't find it now. Um, it was about like after apocalypse with zombies and stiles is bitten so he has to kill himself. I'm sorry if it's vague but I'm really itching to finish it. A lot of angst if it helps?? thank you
3.
looking for a fic with KindaNerd!derek who Stiles helps one day after school and they start hanging out and as time passes Derek grows to be handsome. Then when they graduate Derek tells the school about how Stiles saved his life that day he called him, and tears from Laura and Erica happen and Sterek kisses ensure. Do you happen to know what fic I mean and the name of the fic? xx
6.
Hey I'm trying to find a fic. I think the name was daddy issues, but I'm not sure. Maybe it was daddy issues. It was one where stiles was with a bunch of guys (including Derek Hale, Chris Argent and others I don't remember) thanks!
9.
hey I was wondering if you could help me find a fanfiction where stiles works for like a suicide or depression hotline and derek calls one day and the two of them kind of bond? I've been looking everywhere for it and I cant seem to find it!
10.
hey! ive been looking for a fic for a real long while. the whole pack goes away to a cabin for a bonding experience, with people sharing rooms. there is a beach, and places to go shopping. lydia and/or allison go shopping with stiles at somepoint and get him things so he looks super hot at a club. white pants and something painted on him. and then derek freaks and leaves them all. lemme know if you know this one???
11.
Hiya.! Well, I read this fic about a year ago and it was amazing and I want to read it again but I forgot the name, it's a fic were Scott was never bitten and stiles gets kidnapped and taken to some werewolf camp in Newyork and becomes Derek's mate and eventually meets his family. Can you please help me? And btw. Your blog is amazing. It gives me life.
12.
Hi I was wondering if u knew a series on archive of our own where stiles gets kidnapped with Boyd and Erica and comes back With them and joins that pack and becomes Derek's mate and then later in the series he yells at Derek and Cora about taking the pack away from him if he doesn't act nicer to them thanks sorry for the crappy summary
13.
okay i dont know how far out of canon you like to go or how AU you like, but do you recall a sterek fic that had stiles getting tattooed for magical purposes and part of the tattoo requires 3 blood donors (father-sheriff, brother-scott, lover-derek) but he hasnt told derek the lover bit yet and the chick tattooing him is like some elf girl i think named leeloo or something.... i just cant find it in the tattoo stiles track or the magical stiles track. it was either a series or one big ass one.
14.
do you know a sterek fanfic where Stiles is an omega werewolf and he stumbles upon the hale territory and Derek Hale plans to take him in for only one night but Stiles makes breakfast and the pack love him and cliche blah?
16.
hi, wondering if you can help me find an older fic, it's one where Stiles is magical and Derek's pack is grown up, I think Boyd and Erica have a kid, and someone tries to set the pack house on fire but now its magiced fireproof, but the forest burns, and the hunters come but Stiles uses his magic to bring the forest back to life and ties himself to the land... Sorry that's a weird synopses but it's all I can remember clearly
17.
Hey can you find a fic where the pack was using stiles in training like hunting him but a werewolf jumps him in the woods and stiles thinks it's derek and submits and it turns out it wasn't derek and since stiles submitted derek says the alpha has like a certain amount of days to get stiles to say yes and that was as far as I got please find this!
18.
hey so I'm looking for one fic, I hope you can help find it :) it's about Stiles being sacrificed to the werewolves to keep the town safe and there's whole werewolf village. there was no Hale fire, Laura has a husband and kids. later Scott was bitten by some rouge (or Peter I don't remember) and came to the village 'causee hunters wanted to kill him. I remember that when they were fighting other weres or maybe hunters (or was it just fullmoon?) Stiles saved Laura's kids from being killed. help?
19.
do you know the fic were in which Derek helps hook stiles up with some dude & in the process he reveals that he's into stiles & stiles kind of ignores it so Derek eats ice cream and watches Disney movies and stiles happens in on him & is all, "what."
20.
i'm looking for a fic that i think is a 5+1 cuddles thing? all i can remember from it is that there's a fae fight in alison's bedroom and derek got ripped apart so stiles pushed him into the closet and is trying to hold derek's guts in? i've asked a lot of ficrec blogs but no-one can find it for me, so thanks in advance if you can!
21.
Can you please help me I already tried twficfinder, LJ, etc. Its a sterek fic made in 2012 where Stiles helps Derek get his families life insurance, parents will or just money cause he's living in a bad place & has no income. Derek feels guilty & doesn't feel deserving of that. Stiles drives them to where the person in charge of fixing that is. Derek might be rich. They buy wood for the floor of the Hale house. Scott or Sheriff ask why he's helping Derek. Its not Out of Milk or Hale Construction
23.
I'm looking for a fix where stiles hires a dom, but she declines and instead he goes to derek? I think at one point, they make a list of things that are allowed, and everyone can see the bruises left behind, but stiles is really happy. Any help is much appreciated!
24.
Do you know the one where Derek hurts stiles ankle before a carnival or fair and takes stiles but ends up attacking him but is stopped by a psychic and she puts Derek's wolf in stiles so that stiles is the alpha
26.
hi i was wondering if youve read a sterek fic where derek basically tells stiles that his mom dying was nothing compared to him basically killing his family cause of the fire. i cant seem to find it anywhere.
27.
I've been looking for this fic everywhere and I can't find it! It's attempted non con with stiles and a original character but stiles hits the guy with a rock and kills him by mistake and calls derek panicking and derek helps cover it up. Do you know it?
29.
Okay, so I need help. I have been looking for this fic for over a year and i was wondering if you knew it. It's where stiles is a kid and his mother is in the hospital dying, and derek is in a coma from the fire and they connect on a telepathic level and stiles brings him out of his coma and stiles mom dies and the derek moves and checks up on stiles yearly. HELP ME PLEASE?? Thank you for taking the time to read this.
31.
Hi! So I'm trying to find a fic (it was lengthy) but I'm pretty sure it was a 5+1 trope, and its like five times Sheriff recognizes Derek as a son? All I can recall is at one point Sheriff thinks Stiles killed Derek and he offers to help him hide it?
33.
I read a Sterek AU ages ago but I can't find it now, I was wondering if you'd read it and could possibly send me a link? It's the one where Stiles sets up an online dating account to mock people and he starts talking to who he thinks is Derek. The two become really good friends but when Stiles goes to meet Derek he finds out that Derek has no idea who he is and Laura started the account for a joke, and is engaged.
34.
Hey! I was just wondering if you could find a fic for me? All I remember is that it was really short, about soulmates and stiles was playing a drum in the snow! Thanks! I've been looking for it for ages!
35.
Hi bb can you help me find a fic? Derek & Laura(?) are twins. Stiles has magic powers & is bff w/ Laura, who later dates Lydia or Allison. Derek paints Stiles in an attic or something & Laura is jealous bc she doesn't want sterek to happen. Thanks!
36.
i think its backround sterek, but do you know the fic where the pack is afraid to touch stiles because they think they're hurting him but really it's touch starved!stiles
38.
Hey, I've completely forgotten the name to fic, I remember that stiles is a lil bit of a delinquent so the sheriff gets derek who's a college student I think to watch over him and they have sex and they're sort of like fuck buddies and at some point it's Derek's birthday and he has a party at his apartment??? idk do u guys know this fic lmao please help!!!
39.
Hey so love your account Anyway I was wondering if you knew the story where the pack like finds a mysterious knife and stiles cuts himself and then gets thrown into the past and is trying to get Paige and Derek together? I hope that made sense Again love the account, such a life saver!
40.
Hey I was wondering if you knew the title of the fic where (I think its Stiles) who's a single father and his daughter is obssessed with bunnies and at some point Derek makes a lil park in the backward for the bunnie?
41.
Ok so I'm looking for a fic where it's after the hale fire and Derek lived in a small cabin by himself then he sends for omega human stiles and they live with each other cause Derek needs pack and he stays in his wolf form a lot of the time. It's like a super slow burn and angst you. Can you help a bro out?
43.
Hey, I read this fic once on ao3 about Stiles having tons of nightmares from the nemeton after Derek leaves. Then he starts calling him when he has panic attacks. He has to do the underwater sacrifice to get rid of the nightmares and when he comes out of the water Derek's there waiting for him and then they get together... It's seriously driving me crazy that I can't find it!!! Do you know what fic I'm talking about??
44.
hey im looking for a fic and I've been googling increasingly strange things but i just cant find it so i was hoping you might have read it? im pretty sure its quite short, but basically allison goes to stiles to ask about werewolf sex and then stiles makes derek give him the werewolf sex talk so that he can clue the rest of the pack in. thank you xx
45.
Hi! I'm looking for a specific fic! It's like Stiles is at a club, and he's sitting at the bar and sees his ex walk in and he gets really panicky because he starts walking over so he grabs the closest guy to him and kisses him? And it turns out the guy he kissed was Derek? I can't find it anywhere!
46.
Hi i was wondering if you could help me find a fic. I dont really remember much just that it was sterek and that cora read some spell that sent Derek back in time and he ended up mating to Stiles but when they have children Cora fixes it and Derek goes back to him normal time and tells cora that he has to go back because he has a mate but cora tells him that he has to wait until the full moon i think and in the end he and cora go back to stiles time and stay there
47.
I was wondering if you might know of a fic I am looking for. It's one of those Sheriff Finds Out ones and it's in his POV. I remember that it had Melissa in it and she let the Sheriff into a house/Room where the pack (they are a pack in this) was all cuddling in groups. I remember once specific moment where he observes Alison and Scott and notices their closeness with Isaac. And I am pretty sure Stiles is asleep on Derek. I know this is not very descriptive but I was wondering if you knew of one
48.
Hello I'm searching for a sterek fic I read a while back and I can't find it 😔 it's a fic where Stiles discovers he's a wizard or a shaman or something like that and he's linked to plants somehow and there are many pack interactions like pack cuddles and stuff so many pack feels and then the pack is being attacked and the forest is destroyed and Stiles manages to grow it back and he's like part of the forest it's such a great fic so beautifully written, do you happen to know what's this fic?
49.
Hello, lovely. I have been trying to fing a fic where Dean and Cas from Supernatural are Stiles parents and Derek knocks him up. While Stiles goes through the pregnancy, a Big Bad from the past comes back and messes with Stiles. Sorry, this is vague.
50.
I was wondering if anyone remembered a story where Stiles was half-daeva (I believe), Scott was his Permissor, but no one else in the pack knew until another pack kidnaps them and stiles shows up to destroy them all. I remember reading it ages ago but I can't find it in my bookmarks :/
51.
Hi, can you help me find sterek fanfic? It's coffee shop au, Stiles is barista, Derek is customer who wants plain coffee but Stiles always goes crazy with toppings, there us Peter too, creepy but good, can't find it on ao3 (╯︵╰,)
52.
Ok I've been searching for this one fantastic fic I read ages ago but can't find and was hoping you guys might know! It's established relationship w pack mom Stiles and he's away at college but they all just kind of move in w him and he buys Erica tampons and Boyd McDonald's gift cards and brings Chinese food and is generally lovely?? I think it was a one shot and relatively short but I'm dying to read it again :(
53.
Hello! I'm looking for a sterek fic. I think it was a 5+1 type fic where people/random strangers thought the pack members were Derek and Stiles' children. Please and thank you! :)
54.
Idk if you find sterek fics but i can't remember it, please help. Stiles is kidnapped by faeries but then talks them into a peace treaty? I think it was on archive but I'm not getting anything.
57.
Hi! I can’t seem to find a fic I love and was wondering if you could help me find it? Stiles is in a bar with friends, I remember Lydia and Jackson being there, and is insisting he is a Alex god who can get any number he wants and jackson tells him to get that guys number and points to Derek and stiles basically goes up to him and says “I am trying to convince my friends I’m attractive can you give me a fake number?” and he does but it turns to be real???
58.
I’ve been looking for this fic where stiles has been out of town for a while and when he gets back he stops at this gas station on the edge of town and gets jumped by some redcaps I think? And then the guy who runs the station comes out and sees this kid covered in blood and calls Derek because strange kid I’ve never seen before covered in redcap blood, maybe come check this out? And Derek didn’t know stiles was coming back early because it was supposed to be a surprise. Thanks so much!
59.
I love your blog and I was hoping you'd help me with this fic I've been looking for forever. Stiles is either an orphan or his dad is irresponsible, and he's not exactly highly regarded but the Hales and of course Derek love him and welcome him at their house. But Stiles feels guilty/unworthy and doesn't always want to accept their help. At one point, he turns feral or something and Derek has to coax him out, and one of the Hales have a baby who loves Stiles (I think Peter's or Laura's). Thanks!
60.
hey :) there's this old fic i want to re-read where stiles is a mage(or someone who controls elemental magic) and hes hurt/rejected by Derek and leaves with someone where there are other people with elemental magic and he trains. If it helps: I remember in the big fight they wore shirts that matched with their powers. Could you please help me? thanks
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asianhappinesss · 2 years
Text
Currently Rewatching
Seriously long and some spoilers so...
General and I: Kinda stalled out on this one. I don’t know why, but I keep watching something else instead, probably because I read something about Bai Jei and Ping Ting being separated for a large chunk of time, which I knew going in, but I’m not really in the mood anymore for the angst. Not dropping this one though, but I need some time. Plus, 3310 is more interesting. Knowing myself, it’ll probably take me the rest of the year to finish this.
3 Lives 3 Worlds 10 Miles of Peach Blossoms: As everyone said, this has a slow introduction, but now that the characters are established, the story has picked up and I’m really enjoying the immortal politics.
Buang Hong: After watching episodes of Kluen Cheewit with all the excessive drama, BH can pale in comparison. I love Kim and the match up between her and James is cute, but no where near as powerful as Mark/Yaya. I feel like channel 3 did this show a disservice by putting it on after KC. But the story is still good and I will persist :)
Tunnel: Okay, Choi Jin Hyuk is hunky, but I don’t really like this show. After the drama shifts to the present, I just don’t like how easily he’s moving around in this foreign reality but beyond that I do not like or think it is necessary to see the romance between the partner and the professor. I like that the partner has a connection to the past, but I don’t really like either of these characters. As I said before, I usually have a great experience with OCN and I don’t want to give up on this show, but right now I need to put it on hold. I was in the mood for a good crime/ suspense show so much that I started TWO new shows to fulfill the need.
Signal: Show number 1 that I started because of Tunnel. I already finished this one. Actually binged it last weekend instead of watching Tunnel and BH lol. Very emotional. Very well written and acted. I was a bit disappointed by the last 20 minutes because I had been wishing for a reunion from the first or second episode, but didn’t get one. Otherwise, I highly recommend it to anyone that like crime, sci/fi, and sentimental dramas because this one is hella good.
Medical Examiner Qin:  Show number 2 I started because of Tunnel. This one hit me in the first few episodes with a gruesome murder but has since tapered off into mysteries that are less gory and more interesting and complex. On episode 10 already, and the friendship has started to blossom between the three main characters as they are called to crime scenes and solve cases together. I like the dynamics of the group, and even though the synopsis talks about Dr. Qin being a bit grumpy, which he can be, the character isn’t needlessly bullheaded. The doctor can recognize and respect the skills of the people around him and it goes to making the series enjoyable.
Chronicles of Shannara: Love fantasy and the lead is cute. So far I’m liking the magic aspect, the costumes and set design but the acting could be better. Not too many complaints, I’m only on episode 4 and with US commercial television, I usually give shows a 10 episode limit before I decide to watch or drop. Cable shows, my limit is 3 episodes. I’m up to seeing where this one will take me.
SKAM 4: I caught on late to the series, but I finished season 3 a little more than a month before season 4 started, and I’m so glad I learned about this show. I love the lowkey vibe of the friendships, settings, and costumes. Minus the drinking, it reminds me of my actual high school experience. I have been waiting for more information about a lot of the characters, but Sana in particular so I’m happy that she’s getting a chance to shine this season. Also, kinda pissed about Noora and Willem. We spent all that time watching them waffle and fight for their relationship, only to have it fall apart in season 3 with no seeming hope of its revival in season 4?? Really? *le sigh* Don’t get me started...
Make It Right 2: It just premiered and our favorite couples are back. From the trailers there’s trouble ahead for Fuse/Tee and Book/Frame. More than anything, I like how honest these romances are about the feelings within the pair. One of the reasons I didn’t enjoy the second season of Lovesick is because there was just way too much show and not enough process between the mains. MIR is more sexual, which is cute but not necessary, but LS was just missing in progress. Phun/Noh, 16 episodes into the second season, weren’t any closer to being together or even truly comfortable about their feelings than they were at the end of the first season. The trailers showed third parties being introduced so I hope we’ll see some pining, but also so honesty from the couples.
Mystery Queen: Tried the first episode. I love Kang Hee but I think I will sit this one out. I’m all crimed out at the moment lol besides I wanted to get some k romance back in my line up.
Suspicious Partner: The first few weeks were good. When it comes to rom-coms I have to honestly say that I don’t normally read the synopses thoroughly. Most times I gloss over them more interested in who is starring and what the poster quality looks like. That being said, I was surprised as sh!t when a murderer appeared and our girl is suspected of the crime. This threw me off for a bit, as well as the time jump from the ending of the trial to the point where they meet again. The fact that she “stalks” him for that time period is odd. The fact that the ex that cheated was a childhood friend as well as the lawyer that was the other man in the cheating scene. This drama, definitely isn’t the typical rom-com even if it still manages to hit the mark on some of the feels and moments that we all expect to see.  I think that the two best friends should just get together, since that would at least mean that they didn’t break their long time trust with Ji Wook for a one night stand.Gearing up for episodes 13 -16 J
Ruler Master of the Mask: Now, I wasn’t sure how I would like the new half hour episode format, but at least for this show, I’m really digging it. I get some really good scenes quickly and don’t feel guilty for moving on to something else. Seung Ho, So Hyun and L are doing the damn thing in this show! We need to do a slow clap for L’s acting improvement since his last role. Boy has obviously been putting in work. The other two are just as magnificent as always. Things boiled over last week, with the death of the king and royal concubine, and after MANY tissues and some chap stick to heal my bruised lip that I bit to hold back the tears, I’m ready for another round. One thing though. The grand-daughter of the pyungsoohwe leader, Hwa Gun, is the same actress from Let’s Eat, and although I liked her there, she is giving me so many creepy vibes in this one. I like that she saw someone that she liked (he was a handsome guy and ya know, he said her life) and decided to get to know him better. I like that she didn’t seem to find the need to lie about it to her family, even though it wasn’t a popular idea. What I don’t like, is the feeling of uneasiness that I get from her. I feel like, the moment she realizes that Lee Seon doesn’t/won’t love her, she will turn into his worst enemy. Lee Seon has liked Ga Eun from the beginning and she knows that, but I’m just nervous about what will happen if they are able to really be together.
Princess Hours Thai: Skipped all other Thai adaptations (for now, I intend to watch them), because they were stories that I really enjoyed and had clear memories about. But, Goong has kind of faded from my memory. I remember liking it but I don’t really have any recollection of events anymore. This lakorn is cute and if I’m not mistaken, there is actually less angst between this couple. Kaning is a bubbly artist and Inn is a repressed prince that is actually in love with another woman. Now that the other woman, Minnie, and the scheming ex queen and ex crown prince back in town, I’m expecting the struggles and fights to increase. But for the first 6 episodes there were mostly moments of sexual tension, great scenery, and or Inn being mean to Kaning only to get wrapped up in her cuteness and their attraction to each other.
Seven Day Queen: I will watch the first few episodes, but as time crept closer to the premiere of this show, I think I’ve psyched myself out . I don’t like anyone in the cast except PMY and the concept makes it look as though she’s going to be sad and moping for the majority of the series. I’m going to watch, but my finger will probably hover above the keyboard in order to make a quick exit if I just can’t deal.
Fight My Way: Probably going to pass on this one. If the reviews are really good once it ends, I may think about watching it, but I’m not excited about the pairing.
My Sassy Girl: Only two  episodes out and already there are so many mixed reviews. Another show that I will watch with the esc button on the ready. I may have more luck with this one though, for the simple reason that I like Joo Won and Yeon Seo.
Fighter of the Destiny: Very slow going although like all the cdramas I’m currently watching, I have no intention of catching up or even trying to speed my way through the episodes. I like the story and visuals so far, but Luhan’s acting is a bit lacking and to be perfectly honest, he’s just so damn pretty and baby-faced that I’m having a hard time getting into the story as much as I wish I could.
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staliasjeronica · 3 years
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Riverdale S5 Ep1 Thoughts *Spoilers*
AHHH MY INFAMOUS LIVE THOUGHTS POST IS BACK I’M SO ASDFGHJKL; Under the cut are my thoughts <3
- Charles be like “my crazy brother wrote a murder……?”
- “BV as in Betty… Veronica?” Lol Beronica crumbs <3
- Veronica’s so beautiful ughhhh. She’s such a great girlfriend too like she does so much and knowing she’s gonna be hurting makes me so sad…. but I can blame BH’s ugly boring fanservice for keeping them from exploring Barchie a while ago and not needing a cheating plot. But whatever, I’m manifesting Jeronica helping each other <3
- Veronica asking Archie to play Betty’s song lmao but it’s so sweet of her to be so excited for him to get back into music. But music is associated with Betty bc she’s his muse
- Forgetting all of what Hiram’s done this scene was kinda sweet.
- So he beats the fuck out of people lol okay… also NOW Veronica makes sure her dad’s not lying??
- Betty’s voice automatically set me on edge it’s so annoying…
- Oh this scene… I don’t like Cheryl being so rude to Kevin/Fangs it’s so rude for NO REASON.
- DID TONI JUST SAY “AGAIN”? When tf was she Serpent Queen??? And why didn’t she STAY that way?
- KO looks like he’s gonna fuck Archie up lol
- who is war baby again…? Also I can’t stop thinking about how Sean Depner admitted that he thought of his scenes with Jughead as romantic
- I can’t wait for this boxing shit to be over with… but low-key I’m kinda into it rn????
- “heavyweight heartbreaker”
- BH once again bringing Cheryl in to do their dirty work and giving her more trauma
- Why did it not occur to me that this was why they were dressed like this… but it’s better than what I thought so
- OH THIS IS WHHEN SHE SINGS CARRY THE TORCH AHHH THE EMBARRASSMENT AND ANGST
- Jughead being enraptured by Veronica <3
- Betty looking over at Archie YESSSS “that’s MY song!!”
- “when my boyfriend beats up your boyfriend.” VERONICA. “I love you!” STOPPPPPPPP I’M SO 🥺🥺🥺
- THE CHONI TALK </3
- Ahhhhhh the “I love Ronnie but I’m not IN LOVE with Ronnie” vibe from Archie :((( It’s weird that they’re making VA the only one who’s sad and angsty like… why does Archie always have to take tether fall
- “You had me at snuff film” I’m sorry what??
- Oh I thought Betty was gonna bring out the Jason video she shouldn’t have. Okay Betty gained a few points for being brave enough to bring that wow… II wasn’t expecting that.
- Yay… boxing…
- I still hate that everyone is always split up but Betty looks so good rn with that jacket ugghhhh probably bc it’s not a serpent jacket <3
- You’d think Betty’d be able to notice the guy in the mask that she waked past if she’s such a “great detective” asdfgjkl;
- The sound effects PLSSS hadjshkfsafj
- lmao what- how convenient that people crowd in tether hallway the second they’re tryring to get to the guy
- JELLYBEAN??!??! She’s not dumb why would she ever be here.
- Veronica being such a great girlfriend that she’s willing to skip PROM she deserves so much better pls
- CHERYL LOOKS SO GOOD PLSSSSS. TONI 🥺🥺 these pictures are so cute pls
- Hiram leave Archie alone challenge!!
- Veronica 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 imagine cheating on her couldn’t ever be me
- “Smile and say endgame” MARY……….
- Betty eating Jughead up in that dress she’s so beautiful and has to be next to Jughead who can’t even put a beanie away for a night…
- THE VARCHIE BETTY PICTUERE JFASKDHALFSLS
- Not Reggie spiking the punch…
- JUGHEAD’S HANDS AROUND VERONICA’S WAIST YES BITCH
- Veronica staying behind from college for Archie…. girl??? OH MY GOD HE TOLD HER STRAIGHT UP FDSIAFHSAKFLD VERONICA’S FACE NO NO SHE’S SO BABIE AND SAD I’M SO-
- But it’s good that he told her…. but at prom :(
- Choni prom queens as they deserve  it makes no sense for anyone else to be royal
- FIRST OPENLY GAY PROM QUEENS. Now why she add Varchie BH into it…?
- Toni’s crown fell off in the background
- Well this is totally not creepy….
- OMG PEACHES?? hey girl!
- Not Choni breaking up over some random quickly put together “angst” but BH is gonna be fine for at least until the time jump smh
- V you know B doesn’t tell anyone anything unless she’s forced to.
- NO NEED TO BLOW THEM UP TOO?? V BH SHOULD HAVE BROKEN UP AFTER S1. Poor Veronica my baby girl.
- Why can’t Veronica ever have an angry moment like she always has to be the civil adult it’s t fair :(
- PARALLEL TO WHEN VERONICA CRIED IN HER MOM’S LAP IN S1!!
- HIRAM WAS LITERALLY NOT THERE A SECOND AGO.
- Cheryl sobbing to Nana Rose I HATE THIS SHOW. Everyone but who actually should be breaking up is breaking up UGHH
- literally stop giving Archie so much trauma!!!
- ARCHIE ANGST NEXT WEEK!? AN EP JUST ABOUT HIM!??! YESS FINALLY!  but again Hiram stop trying to kill Archie Jesus imagine how tired we are smh
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nsheetee · 5 years
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Broken Hearts Club
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Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader, ft. Lee Donghyuck x Reader
Genre: Bulleted AU, High School AU, Heartbroken AU || Angst, Fluff
Length: 4.2k
Warnings: Swearing, informally written, slight enemies to lovers au
Summary: When a video of your boyfriend, Donghyuck, making out with Jaemin’s girlfriend, Mina, circles around school, you and Jaemin end your relationships and join the Broken Hearts Club, a place where students go when their hearts are broken and in need of repair.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★
the first time you met na jaemin was when you walked up to the doors of the broken hearts club
you didn’t recognize him as your classmate, nor as the really good dancer on your school’s dance team, not even as just some random good looking guy in your class
to you, he was someone who you had a connection with that was unlike the connection shared with anyone else
your ex, donghyuck, left you for jaemin’s girlfriend, mina, and every single person in the school was aware of it
now you were standing in front of the doors of the club that was about to not only heal your broken hearts but also your faith in relationships
(ya’ll didn't know that yet tho)
you and hyuck were the school’s power couple
you’re the class president, treasurer of the national honor society, and vice president of the ecology club
everyone knows you as a successful student who tutors others in your free time, the one who created the recycling program at your school, and was just an overall nice person to everyone
hyuck is the varsity soccer captain and the class clown, people love his enthusiasm and how he lit up any room he walked into
that’s also what you loved about him awwww
when you first got together, people thought you weren’t gonna last because of how different you were from each other
which ultimately was the case (yikes)
but actually, you and hyuck were together for almost all of high school
you went to all the dances together and sat at lunch together, you would be seen in the library studying with him and not so secretly holding hands under the table
you loved dating hyuck, he was fun and carefree and in your stressful life, you needed someone like him
you even told him you loved him during your two year anniversary when you went stargazing on top of his roof together
(he promised he loved you too)
(he lied)
(and he lied every time he said it after that)
the whole student body was  s h o o k  when the video of hyuck playing tonsil hockey with jaemin’s (now ex) girlfriend circled around
“how could hyuck do that to y/n? they’re so nice :(”
everyone felt pity for you, and all you could do was gingerly accept it, your heart being a bit too fragile to care about the embarrassment of the situation
the sad eyes and soft smiles people sent you were the reason you decided to join the broken hearts club
a place where the side eye glances and the soft tones were non-existent and where you hoped to get your heart to stop breaking every time you walked into school to see mina in hyuck’s arms- a place that belonged to you only days ago
jaemin’s situation was a little different  
mina and him were only dating for a few months, but it was enough for jaemin to fall head over heels in love with her
jaemin worshipped her- celebrated every anniversary in their short time together, bought her food and jewelry, he even got into a fight with an upperclassman football player because of a rumor that he hit on mina
mina was the super preppy head cheerleader !!!
but she was genuine about her excitement
that was the only thing genuine about her oops
and that's something jaemin absolutely loved her for- the child-like excitement she holds for everything she does reminded him of himself
jaemin was always trying to see the bright side, his teammates on the dance team knew him for his positivity- he was always trying to be positive for his own sake and for his teammates
but jaemin hates liars and, unfortunately, mina lied to him
a lot
about super little things (at first)
like how she told him she was with her family when she was actually out at the movies with her friends
or when she would say she couldn’t text jaemin back because her phone was dead when it really wasn’t
these things irked jaemin but he got over it
his heart eyes for mina blinded him
when he saw that video, there was a small place in his heart that was not surprised
his attempts at being a positive and happy person vanished and he became angry at mina, for lying to him and for cheating on him
he blamed her for his broken heart and for ruining the relationship
he joined the broken hearts club to get rid of the pure anger he felt towards his ex
but enough back story, lets get to the good stuff >>
 so neither you or jaemin really knew what happened in the bh club
you just assumed everyone gathered once a week, talked about their feelings, and then left after an hour
but you were so wrong
during the first meeting, you learned that the bh club sponsors activities to get people to create new memories with others so their hearts can heal
(awwWWW)
so you and jaemin found yourselves at the zoo one day after school with the rest of the club for one of their activities
they buddied you and jaemin up (since everyone else already had a buddy) and told you to:
1. have fun! :D
2. don't cry :(
3. remember, you don't need their love
so with these three “rules” you and jaemin awkwardly walked around the zoo
ya’ll didn’t know how to act around each other
could you confide in him since he was in the same situation?? or were you sworn enemies cuz your ex’s are together now??
it was so confusing to you, but you noticed one thing: jaemin didn’t seem to like you
he didn't reply back when you attempted to start conversation
he would roll his eyes at your comments about the animals
it was starting to get tiring, just being around someone like him made your shoulders sag and your mood go down
you were in the aquarium where all the penguins were, several people gathered around to watch the penguin feeding and you couldn’t see over everyone :(
jaemin rolled his eyes “Here, step up onto the bar, you’ll be able to see”
“I'll fall off”
“no you won’t, I promise I'll hold onto you.”
“I don’t believe you” to jaemin, it was a small and insignificant promise, but your mind went back to the promise hyuck made about loving you and how every time he said it since then was a lie
it didn’t matter to you if it was “I promise I'll hold on” or “I promise I love you”
your hands were sweaty at the thought of someone promising you something and then not upholding it again
jaemin rolled his eyes for the millionth time, and forced you up onto the bar, keeping an arm around your knees and your hand immediately went into his soft blonde hair to steady yourself
you watched the penguin feeding like this- so enthusiastic about the cute little penguins eating their fish uwu
and jaemin watched you- he realized you reminded him a bit of himself, before the mina thing happened
he used to get happy about the little things- he loved getting caught up in the little moments in life because it made him realize that happiness was not a destination, but a journey
jaemin sulked some more as he held onto you during the penguin feeding, wondering where this mindset of his went
god, mina really screwed him over
 so you and jaemin kept participating in the bh club’s activities
the next activity was a trip to the pound, where you got to watch kittens being born
(”be careful when you hold them jaemin, your large man hands could strangle them”)
(”I won’t, for once in your life just trust me”)
you still didn’t trust anything jaemin said, but after the zoo, he didn’t seem that cold towards you anymore
when you both held a baby kitten in your hands for the first time, neither of you could help but coo at it- talking in a baby voice and absolutely melting at how the mama cat tended to her kids
afterwards, jaemin was a bit embarrassed about the cooing, but you laughed it off and said there was no need to be embarrassed
it was the first time you had a truly civil conversation, and jaemin found that he liked when you genuinely smiled at him
it made him want to smile too
 after that, the next club activity was at a new restaurant that opened downtown, where jaemin choked on his cherry soda when you told him the story of how you locked the vice principal in his office until he agreed to start a recycling program at school
(”you did whAT”)
(”every school needs a recycling program, I wasn't asking for that much?”)
this is where jaemin thinks he first started to admire your persistence about something you were passionate about
when you started talking about how important it is to save our planet, jaemin almost choked on his cherry soda again
this time it was because he was too distracted by the sparkle in your eyes and how you bounced in your seat when you got really excited
he blushed when you caught him staring- heart hammering in his chest
he welcomed the feeling wholeheartedly- loving the rush he got from being around you
 outside of the club, you and jaemin slowly started hanging out
first it was to study for your shared english class, then it became less studying and more talking about how romeo and juliet were dumbasses, and other Philosophical Ramblings™
soon, jaemin would make it a routine to meet you by one of the rose bushes outside of school and you would walk in together
this  s h o o k  the school, you and jaemin walking in together that first day sent a new rumor running through everyones mouths
“jaemin and y/n are a thing now”
the two people who were the most affected by this rumor were surprisingly not you and jaemin
but it was mina and hyuck
hyuck was just deadass confused on how you and jaemin even got together- and at the same time relieved that you found someone else
he obviously felt guilty about cheating on you 
(he wasn’t dead inside ofc he felt guilty)
but seeing you happy with jaemin made his guilt ease away- even though he still knew what he did was wrong
but mina was just straight up jealous
watching jaemin in the halls- the way he acted towards you and the way he was different with you than when he was with her
it got her pissed and the relationship between her and hyuck took a sudden turn...
 when you went to support jaemin during one of the dance team’s performances, this only fueled the dating rumor
after the performance, you greeted jaemin and congratulated him on a great performance, people around you secretly watching your interaction
“I had no idea you could move like that jaemin !! it was like a different you on stage.”
“it’s the same me, I promise” jaemin laughed but you shifted your eyes away uncomfortably
the “p” word was still a bit sensitive for you, no matter the situation 
jaemin noticed this and internally winced at himself- he knew how much you hated that word and he quickly tried to turn the awkward atmosphere around
“c’mon, let’s go eat and I can show you a few more moves. I swear, it’s me who was up on that stage !!”
  jaemin found himself to be significantly less angry now
he finds himself seeing the glass half full again, and it was something people around him started to notice as well
he felt like he’s almost back to his old self and he doesn't know whether to thank the bh club or to thank you
you also don’t feel that ache in your heart that hyuck left behind anymore
jaemin was somehow training you to accept promises from him, and you couldn’t be any more thankful for him
(”I promise this pork taste good, here, try some”) = when jaemin cooked for you for the first time
(”I promise this looks good on you”) = when you were a bit self conscious about your new sweater
(”I promise I’ll be there for you”) = when jaemin held you to his chest after you had a bad nightmare one night
these days, a new ache settles in your chest
it’s the good kind- the kind that has tingles running down your back at the sight of jaemin and a bright glow on your cheeks whenever you talk to him
you like jaemin
you felt guilty about your feelings at first- you were scared that your brain was just trying to get you to cope with your heart break by using jaemin as a rebound
the day jaemin realizes he loves you was when you snuck into his room one tuesday night
you were wearing a super baggy hoodie and you tripped over it as you climbed through the window and both of you couldn’t stop laughing as you fell into jaemin’s bed, pushing your faces in his pillows to quiet yourselves down
you don’t even remember why you came over, probably some lame excuse like homework?? or a last minute movie marathon?
you honestly could just lay down and look at jaemin all day long if he would let you (which he would) no need for you to make up fake reasons
you looked up from your pillow and jaemin saw how happy you looked, so different from when you were standing before him in from of the club door months ago
“you look happy”
he didn’t mean to say it out loud but the words just tumbled out of him
you looked up at the ceiling and thought for a second
jaemin had filled the past few months with his presence, slowly slipping in through the cracks in your heart 
cracks that were there before you even knew hyuck, much less dated him
that’s when you knew jaemin wasn’t a rebound for you- he was the real deal
“yeah.. I am... are you?” you asked, almost nervously
jaemin was considerably more happy and more satisfied with himself than ever before
jaemin knew he was in love
he was happy < you did that
he felt good about himself < you were there to make him see it
“yeah, I am happy”
“really? you promise?”
“I promise, sweetheart”
 jaemin was planning to confess with one of the roses from the rose bush when you would meet up in the morning
he had a speech planned out in his head
he kept repeating it over and over again as he held the flower carefully so he wouldn’t cut himself on the thorns
“hey”
it wasn’t you, it was mina
“...hello” jaemin replied, looking past mina to keep an eye out for when you would approach
“how have you been?”
“that’s none of your business... I’m sorry, could you just leave me alone? I'm waiting for someone”
he didn’t mean to be so rude but he was getting anxious as time passed and you weren’t showing up
“jaemin... are you waiting for y/n? didn’t you hear?”
“hear what”
“hyuck and I broke up, he went back to y/n and they're dating again”
jaemin stood still, looking at mina like she just grew a second head
he felt blood trickle down his hand, his eyes caught the sight of his fingers gripping around the rose tightly
he couldn’t believe what he was hearing (and he probably shouldn’t have, considering mina had a track record of lying)
mina stepped closer and reached out to jaemin’s other hand that wasn’t preoccupied with the rose
mina was reminded of the imagines of you and jaemin together- jealousy filling her vision as she watched jaemin break down in front of her
“we don’t need them jaemin, we can be happy together again. remember when we were happy?”
jaemin didn’t remember, his thoughts and memories were now filled with you, he guessed the broken hearts club succeeded in helping him create new memories to heal his broken heart
but all of his new memories were of you now
his newly angered heart made him say his next words
“yeah, okay. let’s get back together”
here’s the deal- you didn’t get back together with hyuck
he came up to your house that morning
he kept apologizing for cheating on you, grabbing onto any part of you to get you to stop walking away from him
when mina broke up with him the previous night, he didn’t know where else to go but to you
you were always there for him and suddenly when he had no one, his mind took him to you- swallowing his pride as he faced you again
you finally stopped, looked at him straight in the eyes and squared your shoulders
if there was one thing you learned from the broken hearts club, it was this:
“I don’t need your love, hyuck”
but what shocked you was when you got to school, walking into the cafeteria that day and seeing your jaemin sitting with mina
she was feeding him from her plate and talking animatedly with him
and he was taking it all in from her- every kiss on the cheek and every laugh from her lips, he accepted it
he looked up from the table, those once warm, chocolate eyes meeting yours
they were now cold, they were empty, they were angry again
you were confused- what happened to jaemin? why was he sitting with mina? did they get back together now that her and hyuck broke up?
the questions made you confused and dizzy and you got out of there asap
despite your confusion, the familiar numbing feeling of your heart cracking returned
you trusted jaemin, the promises he made to you filling your head and you felt like you could break down right there in that hallway
why did the people you trust always hurt you in the end?
despite both of you having broken hearts once again, neither of you went back to the club
 jaemin spent a whole four (4) days with mina before he realized he could literally not stand her anymore
she hadn’t changed as a person- she was the same cheerful cheerleader that jaemin dated months ago
but jaemin’s mind was still preoccupied with thoughts of you
and he slowly realized he couldn’t feel anything for mina because...
how could he when there was someone like you walking around- he knew you were perfect for him
one night while jaemin and mina were on a date, she off-handedly mentioned to jaemin how crazy the varsity soccer team is this time of year
when she went to go cheer for them, all of the s/o’s of the soccer players joined along for a game to support them
jaemin hummed absentmindedly “that must’ve been awkward”
“why?”
“y/n would have been there, I don’t think you two would be very friendly with each other”
“why would y/n be there? she’s not dating anyone on the soccer team”
suddenly, both mina and jaemin stopped moving and jaemin looked up from his food, fork in mid-air
mina had a look on her face that said she knew: she fucked up
mina had always been a compulsory liar- it was just so easy and addicting for things to go her own way when all she had to do was bend the truth a little
but at this moment, she only slightly wished she could be the person people saw her as when she walked down the halls at school: a genuinely preppy cheerleader
not the sneaky, lying bitch she actually was
“I mean-”
“what do you mean, y/n’s not dating anyone on the soccer team?”
jaemin didn’t know what to think, did you and hyuck break up again?
his heart stupidly fluttered with hope
“does it matter-” she tried to laugh it off
“yes, it does”
jaemin was starting to see in red, anger pouring into all his sense as he waited for mina’s explanation
“they... never got back together in the first place” she admitted, looking down at her hands in her lap
“so you lied?” jaemin asked, but he knew the answer
“yes, jaemin. I lied.”
jaemin couldn’t hear anymore of this, he stood up and walked out.
jaemin felt like a fool, he felt stupid- how could he trust mina’s words? how could he not hear about you and hyuck never getting back together?
for once jaemin’s anger dissipated and it turned into something else
a feeling that made it hard to breath and felt like his chest was caving in from the pain
he felt legitimate heartbreak
this time, jaemin can’t blame anyone but himself
this time, jaemin trusted a liar and he got played
he lost you, and it was all his own fault
 jaemin spends the next few weeks in silent self-affliction and guilt
not even his friends could pull him out of the cavity he created for himself
one day after school was finished, jaemin made his way through the empty halls, like a mindless zombie walking down the stairs and out to the parking lot when someone tapped him on his backpack
it was the second to last person he thought would talk him right now
(read: you were THE last person he thought would talk to him right now)
it was hyuck
jaemin and hyuck both stand in the parking lot, wind whipping around them and tension growing as hyuck refuses to look up at jaemin and jaemin refuses to look anywhere but at hyuck
“listen... I know I have absolutely no right to stop you like this but there’s something I have to say” hyuck says, the anxiety of his words weighted down his whole body and he almost couldn’t see straight
jaemin raised his eyebrows in question and hyuck took it as an okay to continue
“I've known y/n for so long, almost four years. we’ve spent so much time together... but.. I never loved them. I tried so hard. I wanted I love them, I still wish I could, but I can’t find it in me. they deserve to be loved, jaemin.”
it was hard for hyuck to admit his true feelings about this situation, but he needed to say it out loud
and this was something jaemin needed to hear
“what is it that you need to say.” jaemin knew this wasn’t the point of this whole conversation
“they said they don’t need my love, and they really don’t. I won’t be able to treat them right, anyway. I don’t know how, but you managed to erase almost four years of my memories in their mind in only a few months and replace them with your own.” hyuck sighed
“My point is... don’t give up on them. it’s your love they need now.”
 the next day, you opened your locker, an envelope falling to your feet.
‘broken hearts club room after school - j’
you scoffed, he couldn’t even come up to you in person to give you this?
you threw away the note in anger, but the invitation lingered in your mind all day and by the time the last bell of the day rang, your feet were itching to go up the stairs to the club room
you rounded the corner, down the hallway, and up the stairs to the club room, not really in control of your feet
you couldn’t believe that a few months ago, you were in the exact same position with jaemin just a few feet away.
you didn’t know him at all back then
you didn’t know he liked cherry cola, or pork, or that he danced like it was his reason for being put on earth
you didn’t know that he hated liars and that he truly did try to keep all his promises
and as you opened the door to the club room and watched as jaemin turned around to face you
you realized just how much you missed him, just how much you would do anything for him, just how much you loved him and you knew
it didn’t matter how many promises he makes, you would now believe every single one of them
jaemin was a bit surprised you showed up, but he wouldn't take you for granted any longer
“hey”
“hey” you surprisingly laughed, and jaemin came closer, dragging you down into a seat at one of the desks while he paced in front of it
you let him tell his side of the story- and jaemin was thankful you did, the fact that you didn’t know the reason behind his actions was killing him
you were surprised by his story- the miscommunications between you and him made both of you laugh and you stood up from your seat and walked up to jaemin, stopping him from wearing out the tile floors any longer
it was weird how you could laugh at the situation now, but jaemin need you to know how serious he was
“y/n... really... I'm sorry. I promised you so much when we got to know each other, knowing how you felt about promises and at the first test of trust... I broke them.”
you shake your head, gathered jaemin’s hands in yours and pulled him closer
“jaemin, this wasn’t your fault. don’t blame yourself” jaemin felt light, he couldn't believe you were real- right here, right now- forgiving him
“I promise” jaemin chuckled at his use of words “I’ll make it up to you.”
“oh? how are you gonna make it up to me?” you asked, curious as to what he had in mind
“I promise... I’m gonna love you until your heart is strong enough to never break again”
his words ringed out, loud and clear, filling you with hope and determination
you leaned in and pressed a kiss to Jaemin’s cheek, and when you leaned back to see jaemin’s reaction, the conviction in his eyes shined brightly
you both leaned in for a real kiss
a soft, pillowy, warm kiss that was the perfect new memory to start your relationship
jaemin promised he was going to love you
and you were going to believe him
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★
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themoonispurple7 · 3 years
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If that tkk anon watched the same Dynamite performance I did I’d be more inclined to think vmin is real. They sure know how to turn the sexual tension up to eleven when they feel like it.
I really find all this angsting about Jikook absolutely hilarious. As you constantly say, this year we’ve basically only seen them at work, yet it’s still so abundantly clear they’re still close. To me a lot of the moments we’ve gotten this year are louder and bolder than any moments we’ve gotten before but most people seem to just want to be fed a constant stream of a skinship.
For me the things that set Jikook apart are not how they interact when they’re working but the many ways it’s obvious they are close beyond work. The way the others often see them as a unit, the way they talk to each other when they’re not the focus etc. People seem to forget that if there’s anything BH want to sell above all it’s the idea of OT7- that they are all equally close.
Oh my, don’t get me started with vmin! These two will be the death of me. They looked like a couple of hitmen who were either about to start shooting each other or kissing. Can I switch to vmin? Is there less drama there?
Jikook have been in the sweet spot of domesticity this year. There’s so much I recognize from my own relationship. The apologizing over doing nothing wrong? Constantly giving each other praises? The spending time together always and being considered a unit by everyone including themselves? It all makes sense if they’re just close friends too and it’s wonderful that they have each other.
Now, back to vmin...
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andsmile · 3 years
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I mean that storyline was forced and OOC but I think it had potential not only for the drama and the angst. I kinda agree with that reviewer that say "Make ba cheating to cause MAJOR fallout after Jughead and Veronica find out, is a disservice to both of THEIR characters. It undermines their emotional intelligence, and that is not good" True. they take the easy route to separate the core 4 with Why not have an equal and opposite reaction? Early Ba was a point of tension for the couples (s1 bh ) and left it like that it's a injustice for the relationships and friendships even a disservice for BA as character they make a mistake I want to see the characters be a part, learn from that, heal as individual and a couple, learn and grow
I couldn’t see Jughead and Veronica being able to brush this off and be ok. It takes time to heal betrayal like that.
you see, that’s the thing, i agree with this concept (even though i despise that reviewer) but i don’t think it’s a disservice to their characters -- it’s actually in character for them to forgive, even though it does make them doormats. but jughead and veronica have been abused by their parents their entire life so they are doormats to the people they love. if you go by canon and not our headcanons and interpretation of the characters, jughead and veronica have forgiven so much shit coming from other people. jughead has forgiven his dad for covering jason’s murder, he has forgiven his mom for doing all she did, he has forgiven archie for screwing up sometimes, he has forgiven betty for the blackhood ordeal in literal five minutes and offscreen. same thing with veronica and archie, betty, and veronica and hermione/hiram, who tried to kill each other and she’s still there.
so i guess we feel the betrayal with more weight than the characters do. if i were writing jug and veronica they’d be cutting ties with everyone and with their families as well. but i’m not. you see?
what is a disservice imo, is how after that, jug and veronica grow into lives that apparently aren’t happy at all, and that they’ll only be able to get out of this darkness once they’re around b and a as well. this is actually cyclical and very annoying, but the show wanted this parallel with the parents since forever, so it’s not surprising at all to me. betty and archie dating can be a happy relationship or an unhappy one, but it’s still just something that’s gonna happen, it’s not gonna change anything into their characters because nothing so far did. the only things that had impact in characterization so far were fp/hiram’s arrests and hal/fred’s deaths, nothing else did, not for real, not long term. 
it’s what i’m telling you about the show’s formula. it’s not gonna change, even when we don’t like it. 
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thetaoofbetty · 3 years
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i don't want ba to happen even in au bc that means betty is stuck between two childhood friends as love interest 💔 also i know i'm biased but i can't really see them as a couple. even if b had a crush on him and the whole fwb as adults i can't really see them acting as a couple...it's too weird and they don't want to be together. if it's happening then i that's what i call fanservice not bugvarchie as bas always say. bugvarchoni is the story the writers are telling not ba, jabitha or even veggie why they have to make up this shit. i'm rooting for a supernatural riverdale or something not these weird attempt to please bas or whatever. bh is also the reason why people watch this damn show do they realize this? in my dreams i still want a flashback of betty, archie and jughead as kids but guess the writers always go for the weirdest things..
i say this with love, doll, but people are just speculating and making theories. it could be anything, including supernatural stuff (actually, there's probably more evidence for that than anything with the whole cheryl reincarnation tape thing) or some other big bad that comes along.
if the show wanted to please the b/as, they wouldn't have done b/archie the way they did. the b/archies have taken riverdale's very own *insert angst* couple and built an entire narrative around them that the show never gave them. that's on them.
i think anyone who thinks it could be an au might be thinking it more along the lines of a stepford style one? which would be creepy and a further disservice to b/a even if that were to ever happen. i'd give betty 3 days before she takes him out in a scenario like that tbh.
and i think they know that bughead is why people watch the show, it's still a business and they know what makes money (and polls with bots, sadly, do not) which is why they're being incredibly hushed about it, which is a mistake if you ask me. and no, i don't know why they keep shooting themselves in the foot. yes, i know bughead's stuff (outside of 5x09) has all been major spoilers but you can create hype without giving everything away. and god knows constantly interrupting the narrative tension isn't doing them any favors.
but we can manifest something supernatural for you, if you'd like?🔮
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