Tumgik
#but the line really grinds my gears for some reason idk why
itlivesproject · 1 year
Note
*SPOILERS* Any wise words for someone who is struggling to like Amalia?? She really grinds my gears on a personal lvl, i do appreciate her character and role within the narrative thats *chefs kiss* but shes so pushy 😭😭😭 like girly no one is stopping u from doing lawyer things without me! And then when she got deleted from the UoO system she really struggled to see the big picture??? If we know the Power deleted her, why does she insist on doing things in a normal capacity???
I hope this made sense and didnt come off to rambly, despite my grieviences with Amalia I wouldnt delete her from the game or anything, i do like what she represents and honestly this enitre game is just the best thing to occur this year!
Here are some wise words. Also, I did not intend for this to be so long 😅
Consider things from Amalia's perspective. Although we are playing as the mc, rowan (i'm gonna call them that in this response) is not the center of the universe and everything Amalia does for them, she doesn't have to. Ro begged Amalia to join them in hunting monsters and terrifying dogs and she hesitated a grand total of like three seconds before giving in. At the beginning of the game, Amalia (whose school literally starts in less than a week) is sacrificing her time to help Ro get settled in for school, find an apartment, and basically taking care of all the practical things that Ro would genuinely forget about if left to themselves. She gives up her summers (which she could spend working or studying or taking extra courses) to help Ro on their personal vendetta against power creatures, and consistently puts her life on the line for Ro. So when you consider her being pushy or perhaps selfish for worrying about her future and wanting Ro's support for once... maybe think about all the times she's supported you first.
You must understand just how important Amalia's future is to her. Aside from Rowan and her family, her goals and ambitions are the most important thing in her life for a few reasons. One, she feels like she can make a difference in peoples' lives and needs to do so. Two, she wants to make her parents' sacrifices worth it and make something great of herself. Three, she doesn't want to have to depend on anyone, she wants to be fully independent and take care of herself so she can help take of others. Like I love Noah but mans completely depends on Connor for his survival lol. Amalia doesn't want that. Idk if you've been through college, but she had one more year left!! One more! Imagine the prospect of having to start over from scratch after the hundreds of hours you've spent in class, on assignments, studying, and not to mention the money she spent that she won't be able to get back. This is probably the most difficult thing that has happened to her, not just in the sense that it's a hard thing, but in the sense that she was just royally screwed. Her future is on the line, and for the first time, she wants Rowan's support like she's always supported Rowan.
She is pushy about Rowan going to college but that's because she's a good friend! She knows that this isn't sustainable long-term and she doesn't want Rowan to wind up dead in a ditch someday. Hunting is dangerous for two reasons: physically you might get killed, and when you're hunting you're not preparing for your future. How is Rowan going to make money? Get a job? Ro doesn't have a family to support them and they need to learn to take care of themself. Amalia supports Rowan enough to go along with them and make sure they're safe while chasing monsters while also trying to encourage them to be smart and make choices that will benefit them long-term in life. That's not being pushy, that's being an actual good friend who cares more about what's good for you than only saying what you want to hear.
Finally, consider that Amalia and Rowan have no idea that their story is taking place in the final installment of the It Lives series. The Power has been causing problems for decades, centuries even! Why would Amalia have any reason to think that their investigation will actually end anything? As far as she can tell, fighting the Power is like trying to stop a boat leak by putting your finger over it. It's like the meme guy slapping a piece of paper over the giant leak. She views your situation as powerless. She supports Ro not because she thinks they'll actually make much of a difference, but because she knows Ro is going through it and will do this with or without her, so she figures she may as well be there as much as she can to keep Ro safe. But in her opinion, the Power is unstoppable, unbeatable, and it's best to just step away from it and try to live life as normally as you can. You're not the main character of the universe, this isn't your problem, you should try to live your life and be responsible and have a future.
So this is my list to understand Amalia and her perspective better 🤠 oh and thanks for enjoying and supporting the game, we truly appreciate it 💖
39 notes · View notes
retvenkos · 2 years
Note
Also YES I am anti-Eloise club. I can't with her entire persona being "I'm too good for marriage!!!1! Dismantle the patriarchy!!" Like, I get what they're going for, but it makes me ITCH. When people think "feminism is x!" She is the reason why. Jane Austen and the Brontes were able to craft STUNNING female characters who also had feminist ideals, but they did it in such a way where it was REVIGORATING and REFRESHING to see, where I just want to roll my eyes at Eloise and shut her up
oooooh, takes? about eloise bridgerton? on this hellsite? it's more likely than you think.
i have to say i agree once again.
like, i found eloise fun in season 1 because for the most part, she was a character we had such limited time interacting with. she was present in the sense that she was part of the family and had it out with daphne a lot, but overall she was a character limited to a few interactions and while she mentioned hating the marriage market and not liking the concept of marriage and wanting to have "real" accomplishments like going to university (!!!!) her character actually felt like it had a bit more depth that we weren't seeing - y'know, that feeling that eloise acts out (like younger siblings often do) because daphne is the ~perfect~ child and since eloise can't match up,,,, might as well cause some Trouble™, right? or just that she has this underlying fear of never Being Anything beyond what little society makes her out to be.
season 2, oddly enough, despite giving eloise more screen time, seemed to make her more one-dimensional in my eyes. she was just like !!!! WoMeN and FeMiNiSm and HaTiNg mEn. those are my personality traits!!!!!! and slouching and being off-putting anytime anyone tries to mention anything i don't like!!!!! and like,,,, i know eloise is tumblr's darling and i'm tempting hate by saying i dislikes eloise's ~feminism~ this season, but,,,,,,,,,,,, beyond the one (1) conversation eloise had with pen in the first episode, those other intriguing facets of her character that i mentioned above were gone. and mentioning them once and not developing them isn't keeping them alive, imo. eloise was reduced to being a Feminist who doesn't like men and also hates anyone who isn't as ~forward thinking as her~ and it grinds my gears. i'm tired of eloise as a character already. my problem is that the writers clearly knew eloise was beloved for her feminist takes and turned it up to 100. so the entire season she just,,,,, complains about how whistledown isn't Feminist enough for her, how literally No Man Alive is good enough for her, how society is backwards and can't do anything right, and never has another character beat until penelope's betrayal. also, lol, i know i've mentioned this to you before but her slouching this season was wayyy too over the top for me. it was fine in season 1 because 90% of the time she was just,,,, in her house? i thought it was a fun quirk to help explore a different side of her character, but now i can't get away from her slouching. girl is out in PUBLIC slouching all over the place!!!! it's 2022 and even i don't slouch in public! and certainly not to those extremes! idk i just thought it was a bit too caricature this season, which sucks because again, i liked eloise in season 1!
and just like,,,,,, idk i feel like she could have had one (1) other personality trait besides her feminism, but she didn't. she took up so much time with her plot lines and i really didn't like any of them.
45 notes · View notes
morwensteelsheen · 3 years
Text
The Gift of Men
“And would you have your proud folk say of you: ‘There goes a lord who tamed a wild shieldmaiden of the North! Was there no woman of the race of Númenor to choose?’”
“You will live almost an entire lifetime after my death,” she might have said.
“Will you not find yourself a wife who will live with you until your dying days?” She could have asked him.  “Our time together will be short, will you condemn yourself to that?”
“I would,” he said.
“A single day of your love could sustain me for all the ages of this world,” he meant.
23 notes · View notes
dragonsareourfuture · 3 years
Text
Death Note As Unus Annus Quotes
Tumblr media
I still haven’t been able to cope with Unus Annus being gone, so I’ve decided to compile a list of quotes from various videos and use them for Death Note incorrect quotes because idk why not. I had a ton of fun doing this and I hope it shows! Some of these aren’t the exact quotes word for word but I can’t exactly go back to find them now. ⚠️Warning for mature language.
Misa: you think I can fit my thicc ass through there!?
Mello: if I lube myself up I’ll slip right through hell and get into heaven
Near: I can’t.
Mello: I know, I know. You’ve got that condition where you’re...a bitch.
L: stab right here.
Matsuda: right here?
L: yes.
Matsuda: *stabs right there*
L: What the- why’d you stab next to my face that’s a horrible idea!
Matsuda: Ryuzaki, I don’t know I— I’m so sorry!
Light: I think you’re gaslighting him, L...
L: I didn’t think he’d actually do it.
*at L’s funeral*
Light: L was a humble — eh, humble? I don’t think we’d call him humble. L, he was a man. A strong man. Strong willed and strong bodied. What he lacked in intelligence he made up for with his charm, his smile, and his ... okay penis.
L, inside the coffin: ??????
Light: you’re not mad at anything?
L: no
Light: why?
L “Light-Kun is my first ever friend” Lawliet: well, because I got to spend the entire day with you ^-^
Light:
Light, internally: I am mad every time I hear your voice.
Near: *reading* “people can rarely upset you”
Near: yeah I would agree-
Mello: FUCK YOU.
Near:
Mello: are you upset?
Near: no.
Matt: I don’t like it when you use knives so aggressively! That is NOT a good idea!
Mello: no, you cut away from the body and then it’s safe...cut away from MY body, at least.
Matt: OH MY GOD
Mello: What?
Matt: you’re gonna fucking stab me!
Mello: why would I stab you?
Matt: because you’re an idiot!
Mello:....I am not an idiot. I am college educated.
Mello: So I’ve won once...and you’ve won twice?
Near: yes.
Mello: but I’ll come back for you
Near: it is statistically unlikely
Mello: “iT iS sTaTiStiCaLly uNLiKeLy”
Mello: I always feel like it’s fight o’clock
Light: are you making an accusation?
L: no...are you getting defensive for no reason?
Roger: how do you act in problematic situations?
Mello:
Mello: I remain calm—
All of Wammy’s: *distant laughter*
L: I’m not gonna do that, because I’m smart...but you’re an idiot. I think you should do it.
Matsuda: oh, no...
L: I’m just kidding-
Matsuda: No, you’ve got a point!
The entire Task Force @ Matsuda : bitch.
Matsuda: I’m just trying to strike up a conversation-
The entire Task Force: bitch.
Matsuda: I’m not gonna listen to you if you’re just gonna belittle me and be a big bully-
The entire Task Force: BITCH—
Light: I get the sense that they’re not talking to me because they sense how much more powerful I am than you.
L: I think they just like me more.
Light: why would that be a thing? Nobody likes you.
Matt: GAMERS ARE VERY MATURE!
Tiny Mello: what’s that?
Roger: this is a chalk line.
Tiny Mello: a what?
Roger: chalk line.
Tiny Mello: ch...chocolate!
Roger: chalk line.
Tiny Mello: Chompus!
Misa: I’m gonna die beautiful! Do you know what that’s like? No, you don’t. You have the luxury of being ugly.
L: Mhmm
Matt: are you a happy bimbo?
Mello: I AM AN ANGRY BIMBO!!!!
Matsuda : *exists*
L: oh my god, even when you’re quiet you’re mostly annoying.
Matsuda : what are you talking about? I was completely silent-
L: get the fuck out.
Matt: *asks Near a question*
Mello: why don’t you ask ME? Why would I not know? Piece of SHIT.
Mello: I am a man with an extensive wealth of knowledge and you are not taking advantage of me while I’m STILL HERE.
Mello: *flips hair dramatically* GOD
Beyond, dreamily: I forget what happens when you’re on fire...
Light: What’s my most incredible feature?
L: the bags below your eyes aren’t that big so that shows you get a good amount of sleep.
Light:.....wow, thanks man.
Beyond: a lot of people have this dream of dying in their old age, passing away in their sleep, very peacefully.
L: yep.
Beyond: what a basic bitch death.
Misa, finally snapping: you know what really grinds my gears?
Light, very uninterested: what
Misa: you! Because whenever I try to give you a friendly “hey, now” you say “don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!” Well you know sometimes maybe I wanna be touched! Maybe I wanna be touched, Light!
Near: it’s a little loose...
Matt: what, they didn’t sell a child’s size?
Near:
Near: hey—
(Matsuda, taking his mandatory polygraph test)
Chief Yagami: so this machine is borrowed—
Matsuda: oh my gosh, somebody else’s lies are in here!?
This isn’t Unus Annus, I just really wanted to add it here—
Chief Yagami: Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.
Light: ....I did, I broke it, dad—
Chief Yagami: No, son you didn’t. Matsuda?
Matsuda: don’t look at me! Look at Aizawa!
Aizawa: what!? I didn’t break it!
Matsuda: Huh. Weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
Aizawa: because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
Matsuda: Suspicious.
Aizawa: No, it’s not!
L: if it matters, probably not, but Misa was the last one to use it.
Misa: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
L: Really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Misa: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles! Everyone knows that, Ryuzaki!
Light: lets not fight, I broke it. Let me pay for it, dad.
Chief Yagami: No. who broke it?
Aizawa: Chief....Mogi’s been awfully quiet-
Mogi: REALLY?
Aizawa: yeah, really!
Everyone: *screaming*
Chief Yagami: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict in ten minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick...good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
150 notes · View notes
timextoxhajima · 4 years
Text
HOSTIS, Chapter XVII: Et Universum Parallel, A Parallel Universe
Tumblr media
Previous Chapter (XVI: Adsumo)
Member: Lee Hyunjae (tbz) ft eric
Genre (by chapter): drama, angst
Category: Short Novel/Long Series
A/N: *this is a sad hours warning send me an ask if you cried or smth idk bec i’m pretty i’m gonna cry writing this chapter :”)*
“where has my other ares gone?”
Tumblr media
“morning!” 
the nurses and staff nearby look up at your greeting, and they say it back with such cheer and wonder in their voices, though you were sure they wished they were in bed.
the dress shirt that wasn’t yours was folded nicely into a plastic package in your briefcase, and you didn’t want it hanging around your house like a ghost reminding you that lee hyunjae was a person who had to deal with for the longest of times.
he was staring at his computer screen with his chin in his palm when you walked in without knocking, and you were expecting him to throw something at you, maybe even call you a name that would hurt your pride.
but he doesn’t.
“this shit is yours,” the plastic crinkles loudly when you pull it out. for a moment, your heart winces because you spent a considerable amount of time ironing it.
it was a dress shirt after all.
“take it back.”
the item was held out at arms length, and again, you wait for him to snap at you, to bring it over to him so you had an excuse to throw it instead.
but he doesn’t.
the look on his face was blank, emotionless, tired.
the chair creaks when he removes his butt off the leather and he slides the white coat off the backseat, turning on his heels to walk towards you.
his silhouette against the light coming in from the window behind his desk floods out his features, but he keeps a safe distance from you when he takes the wrapped dress shirt from you and places it on the small sofa seat right next to the door.
“thanks,” he says, with absolutely no weight of sincerity or energy. “i gotta go for my rounds so get out of my office.”
he brushes past you without physically running an arm into your shoulder, and he doesn’t wait for you to leave by holding the door open. 
he just walks off.
a parallel universe, also known as a parallel dimension, alternate universe, or alternate reality, is a hypothetical self-contained plane of existence, co-existing with one's own. 
and you were convinced that not only did you just wake up in one, you were now living in it.
someone must’ve kidnapped lee hyunjae and replaced him with someone else. 
every second ticks by relentlessly, and those seconds become hours, and hours become days.
it’s been days since hyunjae has said anything remotely mean to you.
it’s been days since hyunjae has had some kind of a conversation with you.
maybe it was his rounds. 
maybe he lost a patient to another doctor because of a worsening condition. 
the pantry door whirs open while you were filling your flask up with warm water, and the soft sound calls for your attention.
he doesn’t look at you, doesn’t say anything to you, only walking past you to that refrigerator he had you up against not too long ago, stealing kisses when doctor kim walked in on the two of you.
now he was just treating you like you were invisible?
“you look like shit, just so you know,” your lips meet the mouth of the flask as you turn and lean your hip against the counter. 
“didn’t know i dressed to impress.”
a box of eclaires was removed from the refrigerator and he stuffs one into his mouth. 
what game is he playing now?
why was he so distant all of a sudden?
“busy with work? i haven’t heard your annoying ass much in the last... what, three days? or did you fuck up along the way and couldn’t bring yourself to show your face?”
not a muscle in his face twitched as he finishes the eclaire in his mouth, and he slides the box back into the refrigerator.
“you have your problems to handle, and i have mine.”
a frown crawls itself onto your forehead, and something in your heart cracks. 
where has my other ares gone to?
“but i suppose for old times’ sake i could send you home today, you seem like you miss me.”
that was more like it, but why does he sound so... sad?
“i’ll see you in the carpark after work tonight.”
not once do his eyes look at yours when he speaks, and he leaves without another word.
you should have known it better; you should’ve known yourself better, but you don’t. 
what was this difficulty you were finding in your lungs that was preventing you from breathing? what was this feeling of dissatisfaction in your gut when he doesn’t bother to rebut you?
you were so used to listening to him cutting you open with his words after you start a fight with him, so much that now when he doesn’t, it feels like he’s playing you. it feels like you’re just talking to a wall. 
it feels like he’s done entertaining you.
it should’ve felt better. you should’ve felt happier that the fight or war you’ve been fighting for a decade is seemingly coming to an end. 
but you don’t.
was he simply becoming the more professional one at work? did he finally realise that it wasn’t worth it for him to consistently try to break you? was he the first of the two of you to decide that this fight has gone on way too long, and that it was time to stop?
no.
he’s not that quick to resign. 
not to me.
how much does god hate you to put you into the same space as him again, even after ten years, for you to realise that you missed it?
no, it can’t be.
i just missed the free ride home, that’s all.
the lamps along the road paint the asphalt ground a bright amber, but the heavy weight in your chest refuses to remove itself. 
like a tumor nestling itself into your heart, you worry if your knowledge of neurology was enough to fix whatever was wrong with you, provided you could even figure it out first.
again, the silence buries itself in the back of your skull like a piece of metal, like you had split your skull open and you needed it as an implant to help you recover. 
you were drowning in the lack of exchange, the absence of physical touch, the loss of rivalry. 
there was absolutely no reason for you to be so destroyed when everything you hated had finally stopped.
really, grinded to an abrupt stop. 
the vehicle pulls up to your house and he clicks the gears into parking, both arms tightly gripping onto the steering wheel with his eyes looking dead ahead. 
the gentle whirring of the air conditioner in the car was the only thing you could hear besides his heavy breathing, or yours, you couldn’t really tell anymore.
you hesitate for a moment, watching the lines on his forearms come alive again. any other day and you would’ve felt like he was trying to rile you up, but there was something wrong with his energy tonight, you just couldn’t put a pin on it. 
“are you okay?”
the words come out so soft, like a whisper goodnight, like lovers afraid to say goodbye, and you struggle to recognise your own tone, your own choice of words, the very fact that you even bothered to ask him that.
but he turns to you without removing his grip from the steering wheel, and the way he digs into your eyes nearly made you want to throw up.
not from hatred, not from resentment, but because that tumor in your heart responded to his gaze.
the moment freezes, leaves rustling outside your open window, an occasional dog barking in the distance; nothing but him looking at you like you were a statue and you searching his face for any sign that you could decode.
nothing.
he turns away.
“why wouldn’t i be? anyway, we’re here now, so get out already.”
a bodily reflex sends a scoff up your throat as you pull your head away, one hand already on the door handle. 
yet a warm mass lands on your arm to hold you back and some part of you disintegrates into his lips when he kisses you for the first time in almost a week. 
his grip on your arm loosens before he pulls away, and strange, unfamiliar chills down your back, shiny, glimmering eyes looking into yours with just inches between your faces. 
he turns back to the steering wheel and looks ahead, his still manner telling you that he was just waiting for you to get out of the car.
so you do just that.
but why does it feel like you were walking away from him, when you were just going home?
he says something so softly as you shut the door, and you forget about it, thinking that if it was important, he’d text you about it anyway or find some way to get his message across if he really didn’t want to face you anymore. 
but why doesn’t he?
you were sure he said something, but he doesn’t bother yelling at you for closing the door in his face when he said it. 
the car drives off and you notice the moon for the first time in a long time. 
you’ve spent so much time looking down at your feet, making sure that you don’t trip over his shoes, that you’ve completely forgotten that the moon existed. 
you’ve spent so much time trying to be wary of pride and love, that you’ve lost control of what either meant. 
the car disappears in the reflection off the window of your backyard as you walk up the stairs to your front door, the grave feeling of loss and confusion starting to engulf you the same way you were worried your parents were going to choose their careers over their own child.
but that was because you were scared they would love their profession over you.
what were you scared of when it comes to lee hyunjae?
the moon hung outside your backyard glass panes like a round, yellow ball in the sky, the dark hallway that led you into the living room pushes you back into some situational memory. 
his hand around your throat, pushed up against the wall, and you were nothing less than happy about removing his report. 
“son of a gun deserved it anyway,” you hum under your breath, throwing your keys into a small container sitting on top of the shoe rack. 
the air in your apartment was eerily still, the switch clicking when you pushed it down with the lightest of efforts. every little sound, every little move, felt so overwhelming for some strange reason.
sensory overload was the correct term.
you would’ve covered your ears to cancel out your thoughts but it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway.
not when you couldn’t even decipher what was going on in your head.
the device in your back pocket rings, and you watch the screen light up when you grip it in your hand.
unknown number: y/n! it’s eric!
unknown number: i just wanted to see if you were available tomorrow night for dinner?
unknown number: and also to make sure that this is your number 
eric?
pleasant surprise, but your heart no longer does a little jump like it would’ve done four weeks ago. 
you: omg eric
you: how did you get my number?
eric: you didn’t hear this from me
eric: but i managed to hack into the hospital database and dug out your number
you: hack into the database? should i be worried that an intern can hack into the system?
eric: oh, god no. i didn’t hack, i just didn’t realise my account could get me into the database. i tried, and got in.
you: an intern account gets you into the system? strange...
eric: anyway, are you available tomorrow for dinner?
you: yeah, i’m clear
eric: alright, cool. i’ll totally head over to the nrd to get you at 6pm
you: where are we going?
eric: you’ll see tomorrow ;)
you: mysterious, aren’t we?
eric: you’ll see tomorrow, i’m sure you’ll love it. 
you lock your phone and leave it on the kitchen island, the cold, hard surface not a stranger to your back and your skin where it shouldn’t have been in the first place.
the thought shoves itself around in your mind, the stubbornness of such an intangible object so difficult to remove, you wonder if it was ever going to go away on its own.
the night sinks into your blood as the moon hung itself to bare. you try to recall the last time you looked at the moon without thinking about anybody, and it hurt to feel like you should’ve been with someone else under this gorgeous moonlight. 
the familiar corpse that displayed itself across the sky comes round again, and it soon gets hidden behind all the windows of the building.
sanitizer and disinfectant’s become your own scent, the only thing that greets you when you push into the office.
there was nobody next door, but you could tell he was already in because his briefcase was sitting on the floor by his table.
again, you don’t even see his shadow today. 
eric sends you little text every now end then to encourage you on your rounds. you found it a little redundant because there was nothing much to “encourage”, nonetheless, you felt motivated. 
the corpse was staring at you in large, red, digital numbers every time you were at a lift. 
faces that brushed past either earned a polite smile from you or zoned-out eyes.
the research department greets you like a home you didn’t want to return to, the only thing there that yearned for your attention was eric. 
“are you excited for tonight?” eric’s bright, child-like eyes were flitting gorgeously across the span of your face, and for a moment you feel like you were his most important person.
“can’t i know where we’re going?” you pout and notice hyunjae coming out the lift with a file of research material, and he walks to another research officer nearby to ask something.
“no, of course not!” eric rolls his eyes and squints at you. “unless you don’t eat beef.”
hyunjae nods and has the file opened out in his palm, his pupils flying across the page as he flips it. 
“uh... no, i’m not...”
hyunjae struts past your row, attention still mounted to the file while he walks to his cubicle behind you. 
“not what?”
he sees you for a moment. 
but he drops the file on his table and sits down, the clacking on the keyboard sounding like a nightmare from not long ago.
“i... don’t don’t eat beef.”
“oh, that’s a relief.”
“you do realise that question literally tells me we’re having steak or something tonight, right?”
the intern blinks at you innocently before nodding his head, and you give him a light punch to his shoulder, light chuckles run through your throat in soft vibrations.
eric talks to you about steak back home in LA, but you don’t really absorb anything. he sounds like you when you were begging for your parents’ attention; talking about unimportant things.
were your parents like this too?
the lift dings and a familiar faces comes out between the metal doors. he looks tired, less spirited, but somehow more at ease. 
“lee,” he calls out, and you hear the clacking on the keyboard halt. “come with me on my rounds in fifteen, i’d like to introduce one of my patients to you. he just came out of an operation and i’ll be transferring it to you.”
doctor choi reaches hyunjae’s cubicle and the younger male stands up, his jawline suddenly looking extremely glaring to you. 
“okay, i’ll go back to my office to get my patient files.”
they continue the conversation, and eric continues his. 
later that day, the pantry door greets you like the gates to hell, and you see hyunjae standing inside, mug in hand, back against the door as he looks out the window.
why am i here?
the door whirs open when you find yourself pressing your staff ID to the scanner and you grab some tea sachets. 
“you look stressed, messed up a report or two?”
silence.
confusion tightens your facial muscles, and you struggle to find something to do with the tea sachets.
he doesn’t move, he doesn’t say anything, only the slight heave of his shoulders when he breathes.
“am i talking to a ghost now? or did you finally realise that you were just fighting a losing war?”
again, nothing.
hyunjae gives his mug a rinse in the sink next to you, his warmth almost within reach. he avoids your eyes, avoids looking at you altogether, and he leaves.
you wanted to yell at him for ignoring you, but it was a hospital, and you are a professional. 
the sky starts to cry for you, for your confusion, for your lack of grasp on the situation. 
it really feels like you were a lost child in a maze, and you were nowhere near figuring the way out.
droplets of rain were trailing after each other on the window of your office, the orange sun completely disappearing behind those dark, dark clouds despite the rain having stopped.
each drop hits another and it runs down the glass. 
knock knock
“come in,” you call out without looking over your shoulder.
“hey! you ready to go?” 
the greeting earns your attention and you watch eric holding onto his bag like a child. the sight puts a smile on your face and the rain on the window pane bids goodbye to you as you walk over, fingers coming round the handles of your briefcase.
eric holds out a hand for you, like he was asking you to dance.
your spirit ascends a little at the contact, and eric’s grin was so gorgeous.
his warmth was gentle, comforting; it does feel like you were holding a child’s hand.
“are you interested on eating anything else? since you already know we’re going to a steakhouse,” the reflection of the two of you was staring back at you, your hand in his and he was just about a head taller than you. 
if you were with someone else, you’d need to tilt your head higher to even meet his eyes.
“mm... how about--”
ding
the light from the lift pours out around the person inside, and the look on his face crushes your spirit in ways you couldn’t understand.
“hyung!”
hyunjae’s left eye brow twitches, but nothing else moves. 
his legs tear him away from the lift and the wind that brushes across your face when he walks past you offers his scent. 
the only scent that took you away from sanitisers and disinfectant.
why was the day so draining when you barely did anything?
you didn’t go out of your way to do anything big or tiring.
the private room of the restaurant was providing you a gorgeous view of the city outside, and the food was nothing less than great.
yet for some reason, you don’t feel whole.
eric spends most of the dinner talking about his life in LA, why he came back, how he became a neuro-research intern... his life in LA, why he came back, how he became an intern... his life in LA, why he came back and how he became and intern.
my life here, why i’m here with eric, and how i became one half of two areses.
i am half full, but i feel half empty.
half. fifty percent. 
my aphrodite is sitting right infront of me, but why do i feel like i need ares more?
i am ares, so why am i not enough?
if i am brutal, then he is cruel. 
and ares is both.
ares is nothing without the two.
the scent appears in your nose against your will, and the warmth on your thighs melt through your skin into your bones. the taste on your tongue pushes you into a loss of control, and your press your peach tinted lips against each other. your fingers brush your neck where foundation was no more because you didn’t need it. 
half of two is not whole.
i am not whole.
not without him. 
“eric--”
“and i was just so psyched to--”
“eric.”
he stops, the brightness in his face doesn’t fade but his hands start to droop when he notices your eyes staring into the table cloth like you had just seen a dinosaur on it. 
“...are you okay?”
your heart is shaking in your chest like it was having an earthquake, and the nerves in your head start to spark like they were malfunctioning gears.
“i... i need to go.” the briefcase gets wrapped in your hold again, and you pull out a credit card to hand to him. “pay for it with my card and i’ll get it back from you tomorrow--”
“wait, y/n, where are you going?” he stands up, and you realise you were already turning on your heels. 
your body was reacting to your feelings faster than you could process them. comprehending that on its own was enough to uneven your breathing, much less keep your composure in front of him.
where am i going?
the silence was deafening, and you see that split second that eric’s eyes softens into something more mature, something more understanding.
like he knew.
“are you going to look for hyunjae hyung?”
there was a throbbing inside you, but you couldn’t tell if it was from your head or from your chest anymore. eric eyes bury themselves into your soul, and you realise that he was never your aphrodite. 
aphrodite was never yours to begin with.
you were half of two for a reason.
eric crosses the space between you and pulls you into a tight hug. a gulp forces itself down your throat when your chest huffs itself against his.
he pulls away and steps back, giving you a small punch to your shoulder.
“i’ll see you at the office tomorrow, and i’ll pay for the dinner. we’re still friends, right?”
your card gets extended out to you, your teeth grinding against each other in your mouth as you take it from him.
“of course.”
eric nods with satisfaction, sending you off on your way.
“y/n.”
the handle of the door was cold, and you turn to see that you were leaving aphrodite alone in the room.
“your number? i didn’t get it from the system.”
a pause, like he was trying to read your face. 
“he gave it to me.”
how much does god have to hate you for you to spend ten years fighting a war, only to have you wish you weren’t...
because you were in love with the person you’ve been fighting?
the whitening knuckles on your fist urges you to release your hands, the cab coming up around the corner. 
the living room light was dimly lit, so maybe the only thing that was illuminating the house was the kitchen light.
you pay for the cab and your shoes get damp from stepping into a puddle on the pavement.
water dripping from trees and plants into puddles ring like bells in nature, the gravel crumbling behind you as the cab drives off.
the skin on your fingers come into contact of the wooden door, and you stop yourself, wondering if this was right.
your pride. your ego. your desire to win.
what was it worth if you no longer knew was love was?
love was younghoon carrying your bag when he knew he didn’t want to.
love was eric trying his very best to find some way to contact you, sending you texts to encourage you. 
love was him leaving you alone after he realised this was no longer a war fuelled by hatred. 
the sound that emitted from the contact shivers through your fist as you knocked on the door.
i need my other ares, for we are not whole without one another. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 17.5: Inevitibilis
A/N: WHOOO LONG CHAPTER BUT ARE YOU GUYS ALRIGHT HAHAH
131 notes · View notes
theshinsun · 3 years
Note
KNB for the fandom ask thing if you’d like to!!
(sorry this took forever, work was crazy this week ;;-;;)
send me a fandom and i’ll tell you…
the first character i ever fell in love with:
Kagami. (I know, right?) I started watching the show when I saw the way he was drawn, and came to really love his character throughout seasons 1 and 2. 
Side note: I really only fell in love with Aomine once I saw how he looked in the manga, and got more into his backstory in late season 2/early season 3. 
a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:
Idk I used to like, unironically like Himuro, and subscribe to canon’s endgame portrayal of him as a harmless nice guy (with no personality to speak of). Now I like him, but like... only in the sense that he can be used narratively, and to comedic effect. I also still like his play style, but I don’t like him like, as a person.
a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:
I don’t really wanna bash any ship in this show, since the characters are loose (read: underdeveloped) enough for their actual ship dynamics to kinda be up for interpretation. 
The one example I can think of, though, for a ship I used to enjoy that now kinda bothers me, is KiKasa. I just don’t see much genuine affection between these two, and yeah I get that people show their love in different ways and all that, and there is definitely something there to work with if you read between the lines, but still... I dunno in canon it mostly seems one-sided at best and antagonistic at worst to me.
my ultimate favorite character™:
...C’mon, you know who it is. The number one spot has to go to Aomine, every time. Someday I’ll write a whole in-depth character study to explain why, but if you want the thesis statement, it’s this: Aomine is the most interesting, developed and multi-faceted character in the entire series, and you can fight me on that.
prettiest character:
If we’re talking manga, then Aomine, but since he looks like a raisin in the anime, I have to give the award to Midorima, with Mibuchi coming in a close second.
my most hated character:
Heh. Uh... funny story, it used to be Hanamiya, or possibly Haizaki, but now I think my hatred for Akashi has actually surpassed them both, because we’re meant to dislike them so at least they serve their most basic function. Whereas Akashi’s arc is so forced and anticlimactic it’s infuriating, and that’s before even getting into his personality.  
my OTP:
You know what, it’s still AoKaga. After six fucking years, they still have my heart. If I can bend the rules and slip in an OT3, I’d say AoKagaKuro, but otherwise, if I had to pick one ship, it’s those two idiots with their rival dynamic, interesting chemistry and essential narrative function of pushing each other to get better. 
my NOTP:
Like I said, I don’t want to bash any ship, but if I have to pick one that just grinds my gears, it’s AkaKuro. I just... don’t get it. I mean, I get it, I know why it exists, but I don’t get it, you know? 
...I dunno, if that’s your cup of tea, more power to ya, but I personally don’t ship it and I don’t think I’m ever going to. 
favorite episode:
Episode 37: I Look Forward To It. 
Ah, the onsen episode... I know this one by heart. 
Okay, I guess I should explain myself, because on the surface this looks like pure empty fan-service (on both sides), but this episode actually has some really great character and plot-related moments. It’s the part I always jump back into when I re-read the manga, because it’s where things really start to kick off. Seirin’s been beaten down and hopeless and finally have their chance at revenge, and they find out in this episode that they’re going to be getting it right away. There’s some really great Seirin and Touou bonding, some more evidence of Momoi being a data-gathering badass (though her actual appearance in this ep bombs the Bechdel test and kinda just rubs me the wrong way). 
My favorite part, though, is Aomine and Kuroko’s confrontation in the bath house. I’ve heard someone say once (and I agree) that this episode shows a whole team of naked men (and two naked women) and yet the scene with the most sexual tension has everyone fully clothed. It’s also just a super emotionally-charged moment, full of saying things without saying them, and Kagami showing up to declare Seirin’s intentions of victory is the cherry on top. I love this episode, I’ve probably watched it about a hundred times, but I’d gladly watch it a hundred more and that tells me it’s my favorite.  
saddest death:
Himuro’s character development. I mean uh... Kiyoshi’s leg breaking, yeah, that’s totally it. Actually, him leaving at the end of season 3 is really sad, we don’t get many third years retiring in this show but that hit just as hard.
favorite season:
Season 2. It’s where the show kicks into high gear, and the plot really gets rolling. It’s well-paced and exciting up until the middle of the Yousen game, and shows so much awesome development for the characters it introduced in the previous season. Everyone gets some new abilities, but my favorite reveals have to be Kuroko’s Vanishing Drive and Overflow (that moment when Izuki gets “erased” in the Seirin/Touou game lives in my head rent free), and of course the Zone. Season 1 is nice and season 3 has some really iconic moments, but season 2 is great from start to (almost) finish, and that makes it the strongest of the bunch.
least favorite season:
As I said, it has some iconic moments, but KNB’s weakest season by far is its finale. For one thing, it focuses almost entirely on a single game, and so that game drags on forever, beyond the realm of enjoyment until it becomes tedious to get through. Besides that, though, it goes out of its way to introduce plot threads and characters that don’t really go anywhere (Haizaki and Ogiwara come to mind...) the animation budget takes a noticeable beating, and so do the trajectories of two of Season 2′s most interesting antagonists (Himuro and Akashi). The main saving grace of this season is the Teiko arc, but, enjoyable as it is, under a critical eye it’s still a lengthy, pretty unnecessary detour that stops the main narrative dead in its tracks and all but kills the tension for the final game.  
character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:
Would it be gratuitous to say Akashi, at this point? It’s funny, because I never really liked him, and didn’t understand why so many people did, but I never had any strong opinions about him until recently, when I started looking at his character up close bc I’ve run out of reasons not to. Again, if you like him, that’s totally fine, but I just can’t agree.
my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:
Uhh... Imayoshi, I think. I don’t know what it is about this guy, but I love him so much. He’s a shit, and he knows it, but he’s also smart, and funny, and kind of just a big dork? Severely underrated character, with a really unique look (I don’t care if he doesn’t have eyes except when he’s pissed, it’s good character design, you guys are just mean). 
my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:
Oh, Kuroko... sidelined in your own damn show. I’ve heard people argue that Kuroko is not the protagonist of KNB, and in fact it’s Kagami, and just... whether that’s true or not technically, it just makes me sad for Kuroko bc once again he’s being overlooked in favor of other, more flashy characters on screen. Maybe that’s the point, but still, I don’t see this guy get nearly enough attention considering his name is in the fucking title. Kuroko is every bit as valid and interesting as the other GoM, and the other members of Seirin, often even more so, and he deserves all the love.
my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:
Pretty much anything with Haizaki, but because this is me we’re talking about... AoHai. I used to be interested purely from a hatefucking standpoint, but recently I’ve seen some art and short little ficlets, and... have started to maybe ship it... unironically? Um. Yeah, so that happened.
my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:
KiKuro. I don’t think I’ve really talked about them before, I love their backstory and dynamic, and I tend to write them together off on the sidelines, but I’m not very passionate about this one. Maybe because it is often used as a background ship, maybe because they both work better with other people (side tangent: their dynamic instantly becomes more interesting the second you throw a third person in the mix... doesn’t matter who it is either, KiKuroKaga? AoKiKuro? KiKuroMomo? I could go on) Idk. It’s sweet, but I don’t often give this pairing a whole lot of thought on its own, maybe I ought to...
8 notes · View notes
Text
1st dream I ever had of JA together was right after I started my new job at the tax spot, and Jay was texting me about a house they wanted to rent and was looking for a roommate to help cut the cost. They showed me this brown house with an upstairs and downstairs, but it was like near the Northside kinda...but near Kettering. I remember looking at the map thinking dang it look kinda rough in the neighborhood, but 800 something month sounded good split between 3 ppl.
The dream that night was us in this small looking house in the forest, but we were happy until we actually went outside towards our backyard and there was the trees. Pine trees to be specific. We started running towards it because we were playing a game,, idk if it was tag or hide and seek...all I know is that it felt like we both were playing, me and Jay running with Ayunna nearby running too, and then all of a sudden we had to start running back to the house cause a bunch of peopl started coming out of the woods chasing us, before we even hit the trees.
We ran for our lives, at almost full speed, but I don't remember who hit the house first and no they didn't look like zombies. It was just a burst of a bunch of people covered in black, from head to toe chasing us, going as fast as we were. I remember when I got to the house I couldn't find everyone and I told my lil sister (idk why she was there) to go check downstairs and low and behold Ayunna was whispering, calling someone on the phone as she was in the living room and I was peeking in on her through the kitchen. She said my name and said it sort of alert, but kept it on hush hush like a teacher calling a student's parent. She said "Kylee's shaking and freaking out about it."
And I think she meant it like I was ready to go home. I thought she was calling her mom, cause I didn't plan on telling my mom about moving out with them at the time.
Because I was scared and paranoid about being far away from home with strangers chasing us from the woods. I didn't see Jay when she made the phone call, Interestingly enough. I remember there was a closet filled with supplies with like an orange kayak, some sports gear, some oars, and some other stuff. I don't remember what I was looking for in the dream, I was just trying make sure nobody from outside got into the house.
Crazy right? And this was in 2019. Had I said anything, I'm sure they would have just thought it was a bad dream. The house in the dream didn't look Nothing like the house Jay had shown me. It looked sorta different, because there wasn't no carpet on the floor except in the living room. The house in the ad had carpet everywhere.
Also, as gross as I'm willing to admit....the 1st sexual dream of Jay happened in January right before we got let go of that bookstore temp job....
Jay was grinding on me fully clothed and kept grunting the words "respect it" with each ride/hump on my..... I woke up wet and confused because I didn't understand why Jay would have said that to me, hovering over me, starting with a serious face, one hand over my left shoulder, the other between my right arm and right side of my body. As if I was supposed to be scared or something....like wayyy too rough.
Now that I see it, I think Jay wanted me to respect their privacy and their body. Because around that time, I was questioning if I was even gay and how I could possibly even like them when I didn't even know if they had a dick or not or nothing at all....I was concerned and confused because Jay was taken and why was I thinking about it so damn hard for like a solid week I didn't see them at work and it drove me nuts not to know, but I couldn't ask cause that's rude. I kept trying to prove myself wrong with counteraccusations like "how can you know you're gay, when you haven't even kissed a girl? We don't know if she or they has boy parts?"
I felt really guilty about liking Jay, someone out of the spectrum and not my normal type....cause they weren't normal. They were like an alien to me, I usually could observe people 1st before talking to them and trusting them to see if we would even be a good fit or so....but in Jay's situation....i needed to do some research before I was the curious George asking too much information that I shouldn't have been interested in knowing but still wanted to know for my own sake. Like how to address non binary ppl, how to say they and use the pronouns, and xr./xrs. or etc...but Jay wanted to be called Mister later on.
I made sure I knew alot more than my coworkers to be prepared for conversation matters so I didn't come off like an ignorant associate who didn't bother to Google it before saying it out loud. Cause with anything new, I always google 1st and look on reddit for unfiltered personal opinions about stuff.
Which is still the reason why I think Jay could actually want to date/have sex with men in the future. after taking hormones so many ftms said once the dysphoria felt like it was gone and they were comfortable being themselves, as a man...they started opening back up that door they once closed towards men. Some even went girls only, to bisexual, to just gay (dating men). And there were a bit more reddit asking why there isn't as many straight ftms and why is there more ftms turning gay after transitioning....which sorta sucked to hear but I needed to know in case I had another panic attack again from being shocked from any more unexpected, extreme news from someone who always acted like they were anti-dick. Even to go as far as declining dick offers from sugarmommas they told me about.
It was gross to hear that they offered me up to that same random sugarmomma without even asking me if I was comfortable or even wanted to have sex with another stranger. Cause I sure as hell didn't. They just offered my name up to her, like they were selling me off as some hoe-sub. Being petty cause I started looking for an actual commitment on tinder.
I hated them for doing stupid, inconsiderate, uncomfortable shit like that, thinking Imma just go along with everything just because I liked them.
I'm still mad about that too. That jealous pig. Man whore themselves. They've slept with more ppl than me and had the nerve to call.me a "bedhopper" when you're the one getting yourself emotionally caught up and cheating on your girl by breaking rules she told you not too. Petty, angsty, stupid bitch with man issues. Didn't want nobody checking them about they behavior cause I guess they thought they were being overdominated.
This idiot thought I was tryna challenge their dominance (red flag #142🚩lol) when I said sarcastically "I wasn't gonna buy you none, anyway" when Jay interrupted me with "oh I don't want any candy." after I said as we waited in the avengers movie line "I should have gone to the dollar party to get some candy, had I known it was gonna be this long of a wait." They thought I was being hostile....when noooo I was just stating the candy wasn't for you, and why should I give a fuck? Lol 😆 I always do that with my sisters and parents at home. That's how we talk to each other, sarcastic assholes and smart jokes. I asked Jay is your masculinity sensitive after they called me out about making that comment that I thought wasn't offensive...but I guess it rubbed then the wrong way?? But like how, cause it was about candy and I wasn't mad at them when I said it.
They took that candy comment way too seriously. Cause even ayunna agreed with Jay that I was challenging their dominance? Like wtffff how can I challenge someone's dominance without even being aggressive, pushing a button, or getting in your face?
I think they thought I was just the nice girl who never talks back. Bullshiiiiittttt I have a mouth. I'm allowed to speak 🤣😅 fucking idiots and they thought I was the sensitive one. Jay sensitive too. Any time they felt less like a man, they took it out on us, like a lil crybaby, like a punk. But I didn't say anything....cause it seemed like anything I said to defend myself they would get into my head too about how it don't make sense.
Truly I think we just came from 2 different backgrounds, one where I was taught to obey but speak my mind. And Jay was taught that control and making others controlled by fear, while they got to be enabled to do so...was their life at home being the oldest. I never like even my own manager for doing that, controlling, poking, and bitching about stress then then taking it out on us because he has anger and commitment issues at biglots.
Jay came from "I'm the man, you're supposed to shut up and be quiet when I say it." I came from a house that woulda whooped yo ass for saying shit like that to my own momma. We don't play that shit around here and I grew up in the south, and southern raised folk. You always respect women just as proper and equal as men too. Yes sir, thank you ma'am, and do you need some napkins, that southern hospitality and respect for other people, friends, and family I was taught that. Jay must have not been taught manners and stuff like I did. My momma and daddy a mind even teachers made me be nice and be a good listener, and a good student always ready, alert, paying attention. You got off task, you fall behind in school, so always pay attention. Dad always was hard on me reminding me to do my best and treat people the way you want to be treated.
1 note · View note
the-nut-queen · 3 years
Text
I Have a lot of thoughts on beyond light so I’m going to share them
spoilers for beyond light obvs
The Nut Queen’s thoughts on Beyond Light/SotH:
Campaign:
·       Pretty much went how I expected, i.e. nothing unpredictable or particularly interesting/mould breaking
·       That being said, I liked it! And had a lot of fun
·       Good to see Variks again, good to see the Stranger.
·       Eramis was a pretty decent villain, but pretty much had the same motives as every other Eliksni enemy before her (Skolas, Aksis, Siviks, etc.)
o   Very much felt like Rise of Iron… 2! With the Eliksni taking a new power that they didn’t fully understand to wreck shit, and also, it’s Clovis’ fault again
·       The boss fights felt a little dull. Getting to the end and just spamming stasis got old pretty quickly. I think having that for the first time work, then being able to use stasis as a subclass going forward would have been better (instead of getting the subclass at the very end of the campaign, I haven’t even started upgrading it with shit yet)
·       Liked the ghost lines and voices lines that would happen as you travelled to places
·       The progression felt very smooth, I hardly noticed when the game switched from “story mission” to “kill some adds for some stuff to progress” which was nice.
·       Liked the likewise smooth integration of the empire hunts to the main story line (good source of repeatable content for the future) although I was a little confused when I got a triumph for empire hunts since I literally hadn’t heard House of Salvation call themselves an Empire before
·       Ghost being super concerned with you using the darkness then the guardian just not fucking saying anything is kinda dumb lol but that’s pretty standard
·       It was pretty dumb when at the final boss fight Eramis freezes your ghost and shatters your splinter and freezes you then the stranger’s voice over is like “look within” and you can just suddenly use stasis because why not lol
o   Would have been cool to have a “guardians make their own fate” reference here instead
·       WHAT IS THE POINT OF FIRETEAM “E” (Elsie/Stranger, Eli/Drifter, Eris) Don’t get me wrong, I love them! and I love that 1 solitary cutscene where they’re brawling and using stasis, but they literally serve no purpose to the story? Especially dumb how mara and the nine were like “ooh only 3 have transcended their design ooh they are so special” and then they just stand around a campfire while you do all the work lol
o   Sidenote, the Stranger’s little floaty thing: what is it? And what is the point of it besides looking cute in one cutscene??
·       Also really annoyed that the BOSS for the Glassway Strike is just another boring fucking hydra, like wtf. You introduced a fucking sick new Vex type!!! (wyvern) and you DIDN’T use it as a BOSS for the NEW VEX strike. The boss fight was so boring too, it was literally just a hydra but with lots of health and sometimes it disappeared, come on bungie
 New Light:
·       Pretty cool! Shaw Han is boring though. Bungie you need more women characters and more GHOST characters (also like any non-binary characters)
o   It’d be funny to see a guardian/ghost duo NPC where the guardian doesn’t talk and the ghost does! Like with literally every npc except Osiris/Sagira their ghosts just don’t fucking say anything . (I get that it is more money to hire more voice actors and to write more lines etc. etc. etc. but its getting a bit old. GHOSTS HAVE OPINIONS!
o   Maybe even an npc who is just a solo ghost! They haven’t found their guardian or their guardian was slain by the hive or something that would be cool
·       Where is Shiro-4?
·       Where is Misraaks/House Light?
·       Navota: also boring. Just a hive wizard. You may as well have just had Omnigul come back. Or her nightmare (though I understand that that was dealt with on the moon in the nightmare hunts but still)
o   Disgraced strike: also boring. And the boss fight is also boring and takes forever?
·       Cosmodrome: Cool to be back, was fun to get annihilated by an immune hive night in skyshock as is tradition
o   Annoyed there doesn’t appear to be any Rise of Iron continuity with the landscape, the splicers fuck some shit up in the divide and outside the wall
o   Also, is the path to the Rasputin bunker just gone?
o   Yeah I just checked, the path to the grottos area (from D1) from the forgotten shore has just disappeared in D2 they just put more cliff there
o   Wtf why
o   Also the D1 location maps are so awful lol (wow, we really used to live like that huh)
·       Cosmo lost sectors: nice. Hive labyrinth was fun. Sad they didn’t reuse like the Rasputin bunker but that’s chill
 Season of the Hunt:
·       I’m keen to see my BOYS Pulled Pork and Crow
·       SPIDER DON’T HURT CROW ISTG
·       Not sure what the seasonal content has in store
·       I hope it isn’t as boring as season of undying that sucked asss (obvs I have this worry since they spent the majority of the time developing Beyond Light/Europa, (I assume))
·       It looks like a combo of nightmare hunts and other seasonal public-style events
·       Maybe an escalation protocol/blind well style thing? Idk we’ll find out
 Overall:
·       BUGS! So many fucking bugs
o   you fucked up a perfectly good game, look at it, it has anxiety
o   omg bungie please help us
o   girl help, I’m trapped under the prison of elders grav lift thingo
o   girl help I’ve been launched into the wall at mach speed
·       GAMBIT:
o   You fucked up gambit too. You took all the cool shit out of Prime then mixed it with the lame shit from regular gambit to make gambit whatever the opposite of “prime” is
o   My idea for a better gambit TM:
o   Each class gets one (1) class item
o   They look like the prime class items except not coloured/glowy
o   There are 4 mods you can slot in the “combat style” mod slot ie the last slot
o   They’re like, idk 6 energy to slot
o   And they give you the gambit prime role! And the class item glows in the respective colour and you get an aura too
o   you get all the fun prime perks without having to grind r*ckoning and also have a full set of amour equipped, so you got freedom with your gear
o   it would be GOOD
o   sigh
o   gambit is the worst now
o   it’s like just as hard as prime was too but you don’t get good perks so you just eat shit
o   gambit rant over, moving on to planet rant:
·       YOU CAN’T SAY THAT FOUR CELESTIAL BODIES HAVE “DISAPPEARED” CANONICALLY ONLY LEAVING AN “ANOMOLY” (AS DESCRIBED BY WEBLORE) AND THEN
·       AND THEN fucking have CRUCIBLE AND GAMBIT MATCHES ON THE DISAPPEARED PLANETS
o   I totally get that for time, resources, crunch, and hell even desire would mean throwing out a heap of crucible matches would be not ideal because then there would be like 3 left
o   But
o   WHAT THE FUCK. Maybe if you said idk the vanguard has quarantined the four legacy planets due to the giant fucking darkness pyramids looming there so you’re not allowed to go there any more (as like an in game/lore reason for the planets being vaulted)
o   Cus like yeah you can’t patrol there anymore but drifter doesn’t care about vanguard sanctions so he can just ignore it for the gambit maps
o   And shaxx
o   Could like come up with a reason? Idk
o   It’s just really
o   Really
o   Stupid
·       I like the move towards being chill with gender (changing “male” and “female” to “Masculine” and “feminine” however I would like to see this go further. Ability to change your pronouns whenever you want, ability to change your characters gender presentation whenever you want, ability to be “androgynous” and use “they/them” pronouns
o   Like really, we’re space wizards in the far far future and some of us are even robots. there’s no doubt there would be trans guardians
Final thoughts:
I love this game, I love bungie, I am keen for what the future has to offer
But
I can’t help but feel like this is just another “beginning”
Like shadowkeep was supposed to kick off the era of darkness with the discovery of the first pyramid ship then we just had two random seasons after it that just felt like Curse of Osiris and Warmind Redux
Then arrivals was a phenomenal season
But yeah I was expecting things to be more high stakes I guess? The beyond light campaign didn’t feel very high stakes and it kinda just felt like “oh look you can use the darkness now”
in short, bungie hire me for good ideas and more queer characters
4 notes · View notes
Text
also like??? idk sorry, i know i just posted two essays but im irritated
okay so quick brief backstory: a few years ago when we were living with my family while i recovered from birthing my second gremlin, my husband and my sister worked at one of the stores. they made friends with someone who was super cool and we all loved and got along with.
this person was super young, freshly an adult, and in a super abusive family situation. so my family immediately went *swoop* and brought them in to live with us. my husband and I were making plans to move again soon, as I was finally feeling better and we wanted our own place and wanted to live among the trees again. so we suggested friend come with us. friend had just recently entered a new relationship, with someone who also was in a super shitty abusive family situation. problem is, their new beau was juuuuuuust shy of being an adult. still a minor. so we did a bunch of research on california run-away laws, and basically came up with a plan to help him run away and escape and move with us in a totally sketchy but fully legal fashion.
and it worked! they both moved with us, and i quickly helped him enroll in school (which btw, he had never ever been??? their family literally never sent him to school. they “homeschooled” him but he was essentially illiterate, but taught himself how to read using M:TG. he was HIGHLY intelligent, just didn’t have school smarts yet.)
things were going pretty well, we had already lived with our friend for almost a year prior to this and the research on how to help their beau escape their situation took long enough (as did finding a house) that we were pretty used to having him over as well, so it wasn’t a difficult adjustment really to living with them fully.
the problems started after we found out that friend was pregnant. i mean, aside from ages and all that, things were fine. it was obviously of course tense and stressful, but we did what we could to help. things were fine outside of that, until they started keeping to themselves more, hiding away from us, and then conspiring to leave without even talking to us. they literally gave us 3 days notice before they were going to move back down to their families, and ONLY because my husband called them out on it cause he heard them packing boxes.
we expressed our concerns, and discussed the things we had gone through to help them (so of course I felt kind of hurt because I put so much on the line, literally put my family in danger to help) but wasn’t even so much hurt that they were leaving, as it was that they felt it necessary to hide it from us and not openly communicate with us. that was something we always expressed was important to us, just talk to us and be open. and then also the fact that, our friend had signed a lease with us but then wasn’t even planning to give notice and only gave 3 days notice when they had been confronted about it. (this was april of last year btw)
honestly a lot happened between all that, but it’s mostly insignificant and not my own to tell (has to do with friend’s family) and so I won’t actually get into it. so it’s not even that I don’t know or understand why they were going back. I do, and I fully respected that. I just felt hurt that they didn’t talk to me about it, and had no intentions to.
so anyways, that weekend was tense and nobody really spoke much to each other, until i found out that friend had told their mom that we were apparently abusive and live in a pig stye, which wasnt true. but our house had been a little messy because i had been sick and we have kids. but friend’s parents were gonna be here by the evening to help them pack up and move back down, so i took the day off work and rushed to clean the house. when they were leaving, friend and i stepped aside for a minute to discuss things again cause they were handing over a piece of paper to help take them off the lease, and i explained “this is one of the reasons why I wish you had talked to us before hand so we were prepared with barely more than 3 days notice. we can’t live here with only the 4 of us once you guys are gone. we need a minimum of 5 people in this house, and so you up and leaving with no notice kind of fucks us over on that front.” (we live in low-income, and so for a 4bd our property management requires a minimum of 5 people to be living here.) and that was when they kind of looked horrified because they didn’t realize that, and said “well then i guess you can keep me on the lease for now, i wouldn’t want your kids to end up on the street. doesn’t matter how much i might ever hate you guys-- which i dont!!! (((super quick save))) but even if i did, i could never do that to children.” 
like, the “doesn’t matter how much i might ever hate you guys” with the quick save of “which i dont!!!” just didn’t (and still doesnt) sit right with me but we hugged everything out and i asked them to keep in touch and let me know when they got back down there safe and sound.
aaaaaaand then they promptly chose never to talk to me again. i mean, this year they reached out a little? but it was so fake and forced, and it was wildly uncomfortable honestly. which makes me really sad. i really do miss them and their friendship and wish them well, i just wish they had communicated with me.
but what upsets me is how they still talk to all of my friends up here that i introduced them to, and act so close with them and like they’re so best buds and keep in touch with all of my friends. but they never had the time to keep in touch with me? like i don’t care who my friends are friends with. im not gonna go policing that lol but it does make me feel weird and uncomfortable and jealous i guess? when i see them interact so close with these people they barely know, and only know because when they moved here with us I introduced them to all of my best friends.
idk. it really grinds my gears man and idk why. i really dont. i have no right or reason to feel this way and i totally recognize and acknowledge that. but it definitely makes me feel more distant from my friends, esp cause they know everything that happened and went down and everything they did that wasnt chill. 
and so idk, i was just feeling it again tonight cause i saw that they posted in a mutual group of ours talking about some issues they’re going through (and i hope they feel better soon and get better and overcome it all) and all my friends jumped in to make them feel better, which is great! i am lucky to have such amazing friends who would do that. but idk, it just hurts for some reason. its dumb. if i were to interact with them, or try, it would either get dismissed or really formally/shallowly responded to and then never interacted with again.
gaahhhhhh idk. i’m being dumb. brain is dumb. rsd is dumb. the fact that im still not over this is dumb.
2 notes · View notes
hazzastylesfanfics · 4 years
Text
Part 2/?
still testing the waters with this but i think it’s starting to shape into something i like?
idk
i’ll do longer parts if people are interested!
lemme know :-)
I curse whoever decided that glass doors were a good idea and weigh my options. I could fully ignore him. It’s not like I’d made eye contact with him. Twice. I could also act like an actual adult and go to the door. Opening 10 minutes early wouldn’t be the end of the world.
I finally move my body cemented in place towards the door. He flashes that damned smile at me causing me to trip and drop my keys. Even on my best days I can barely hold my shit together. I give him a little wave, place the keys into the lock, turn, and crack the door.
“We’re not open yet,” I blurt out. Apparently my lips decided to not consult my brain before speaking. Of course he knows we’re not open, Grey. The front door is literally locked. Idiot.
The corner of his mouth rises into a smirk. “I was passing by and wanted to stop in for another small coffee.”
“At 5:45 in the morning?” He can’t be serious. I’m not falling for the “just passing by” trick.
“Yeah, I try to go on a run every morning.”
I realize how stupid I look then, shielding myself with the door and a blank expression on my face. So he’s not stalking me. Plenty of people run through the Pearl in the mornings, apparently he is one of them. I really need to get my head straight.
“Right. Sorry, uh come on in.” I pull the door open wide enough for him to walk by me. True to his word, he’s in running gear. I notice his arms are glistening slightly. God, look at those arms. A ship inked onto his left bicep catches my eye. Does this guy have a nautical thing going or something?
He slides by just close enough for me to get a smell of his aftershave. He smells incredible. This is a joke. Not only does this guy look unfairly enticing after a run, but he even smells good. I shake my head in an attempt to chase away the dirty thoughts running through it.
“Er, I haven’t brewed drip yet so it’ll be a minute or so. Is that okay?” I hurry behind the counter as he stops at the register.
“That’s fine. I can wait.”
“Cool, cool,” I mumble.
I feel his eyes burning into my back as I grind the espresso beans and toss them into a filter. I press brew above the empty container and watch a steady stream of coffee pour into the open top.
“What’s your name?” He asks conversationally. I turn to face him. He’s casually leaning on the front counter, fidgeting with the merchandise sitting on it.
“It’s Grey.”
With amusement in his eyes, he meets mine. “Like the color?”
If I had a dollar for every person who’s asked me that over the years I would have enough to legally declare grey was no longer a color.
“Yeah, I guess.” I scrunch up my nose for a moment. “It’s more like my parents partied too much and smoked a lot of weed and thought Grey was a perfectly suitable name for a human being.”
That earns me a laugh from him. “I like it. Very moody.” He winks.
“Thanks.” I look down at my twiddling thumbs. “Uh, what’s yours?”
“Harry,” he says.
“Like what’s on your head?” The words escape before I can stop them. I can feel my ears redden at my idiotic joke. He chuckles softly.
“Something like that. It’s fairly boring if you ask me.”
“No booze and drugs involved?” We both laugh. The beep of the brewer behind me indicates it’s finished. “You said a small, right?”
“Whatever you’d like to give me,” he says coyly.
I give my head a little shake. I fill a 12-ounce cup to the top, remembering he likes no room, and snap the lid on. I spin around and nearly drop his coffee in the process. He’s leaning as far forward as he can on the counter, arms extended in front of him with his hands clasped. My eyes trail along the curves of his arms for a second, fantasizing about them pinning me down to this very counter and-
“So what are you doing when you get off?”
“Get off?” He matches my puzzled expression. “Oh! You mean work.” I mentally kick myself. Get your head out of the damn gutter, Grey. “I’ll probably just go home and take a nap. That’s usually what I do on the days I open.”
“Not much of a morning person?” He takes a sip of his coffee. I can’t help but watch his lips wrap around the lid. My thoughts wander to his lips to what else he could wrap them around.
“I despise mornings,” I agree. “Days shouldn’t start before 10 a.m. if you ask me.”
“Sounds like you’re in the right line of work then.” He smiles. How am I just noticing the deep dimples that indent his face when does? They paint the perfect illusion of youth.
“I’m good at it.” I shrug. “It’s an easy job anyway. Tips are good.”
“Speaking of, how much do I owe you?” He reaches for his wallet.
“It’s on the house.” I smile.
“If it’s because I came before you opened then I can wait until the register is ready or whatever,” he reasons.
“No, no it really is fine.” I glance at the clock on the iPad. “We’re open now anyway.”
“I insist.”
“It’s a dollar seventy-five; I think we’ll be alright.”
“Let me pay you back tonight then?” He peaks over the top of his coffee as he takes another sip, looking hopeful. “Drinks?”
“Uh-” I bite my lip. Did this guy really walk in here with the intention of asking me out or is fate throwing me a sympathy bone? “I can probably do that, yeah. What time?”
His expression relaxes. “Whenever works for you. I can pick you up at your place or you can swing by mine? Do you live around here?”
“My apartment isn’t far from here. There are some bars within walking distance of it if you just wanted to meet me at mine?”
“Sure, just send me the address.” He pulls his phone out and hands it to me across the counter. I take it and type my phone number in, adding it to his contacts. Grey, (like the color), I add.
“Here you are.” I hold his phone out to him. Our hands brush momentarily and every nerve in my body ignites. They’re soft. His hands are really soft. “You better not ghost me.” I laugh.
His eyebrows shoot up and a look of exaggerated shock takes over his features. “I would never.” He laughs along with me. “Do I look like the type of lad to do that?”
The door opens and two of my morning regulars walk in before I can answer. He glances over his shoulder and then back to me.
“Looks like that’s my cue.” I smile apologetically.
“See you tonight.” His eyes twinkle like two stars I could get lost in.
As he’s leaving I notice a five-dollar bill in the tip jar.
“I look terrible in absolutely everything, oh my god!! Why do I even own half of this shit!” I fall facedown on my bed next to Lana.
“Shut up, babe you’ve looked hot in everything you’ve put on,” she assures.
“You’re a fucking liar and you know it.” I sigh. “It’s easy for you to say considering you look good in everything you wear.”
“Not true.” She stands and walks to my wardrobe. “What about this?” Lana pulls out a midi, light grey silk dress.
I sit up. “Don’t you think a slip dress is a bit...much?” I scrunch my nose up. “I don’t even know if this is a date.”
The texts Harry and I exchanged throughout the day were short and simple. He never explicitly said the word “date” nor did he really flirt much. It made me feel anxious.
“You said yourself you didn’t want this to be a date,” she responds.
“That’s not what I meant. I just- You know how it is.”
She sighs. “Sometimes Grey? I really don’t. C’mon, this gorgeous guy is clearly into you and you’re gonna play these stupid games with him? He could actually be a decent guy, ya know. Can we also talk about the fact that he’s fucking British? How often do you find that in Portland?”
“Not interested.” I take the dress from her hand and hold it up to my body, observing it in the mirror on my wardrobe door. It really is a pretty dress. I’ve only worn it a handful of times but it’s done wonders for me every time I have. I could toss a white tee over it and knot it to tone it down a bit. Sandals would also help. I undress and let the silk fall over my body. I forgot how it hugged what little curves I have just enough to hint at them.
Lana’s eyes narrowed in approval. “That. You have to wear that. Remind me why I’ve never borrowed it again?”
“Because you were gifted with an ass and I wasn’t?” Envy consumes me. Lana had this perfectly curvy body that genetics would never allow me to have. She constantly switches between hating it and loving it.
“Oh right, that.” She frowns. “So you’re really not gonna give this Harry guy a chance?”
I pull a white tee out from my drawer and pull it over my head. After fussing with the knot for a minute, I settle on one I like. “What do I even do with my hair?” I ignore her question and walk down the hall toward my bathroom.
She follows and perches on the edge of the bathtub. My tiny bathroom barely fits us comfortably. “Grey, seriously. Maybe it’s time to open yourself up again.”
I pause with my hands holding up my hair in a simple, low messy bun. I pull a few strands of my bangs out to frame my face. Not liking what I see, I drop it in frustration and run my fingers through my loose brown curls. Maybe I could just wear it naturally. Except I hadn’t washed it from my shift this morning and it smelled of coffee. I sighed. Naps are great until I sleep the day away. Back to the bun it is.
“I like the bun,” Lana comments.
“Is my makeup too like-”
“Come fuck me makeup?” She finishes for me.
I laugh lightly. “Not exactly how I would have put it but, sure.”
“You look hot, babe. If I was Harry I would most definitely have that dress on the floor by the end of the night.”
I bite my tongue through my teeth and smile. “That’s the goal.”
We walk back to my room so I can find shoes and my purse. I check my phone for the time and see I’ve missed a call and two texts from Harry.
Sorry if you’re not ready. I’m a bit early.
Then, 10 minutes later.
Should I come up or wait for you down here?
“Oh shit, he’s early.” I dash around my room looking for my ID and grab a bundle of cash from the vase I keep my tips in. Lana is laying on my bed absentmindedly petting Charlie. She’s curled up on my pillow - her favorite place. “You can stick around as long as you want but I can’t guarantee what will be happening in here later.” I smile devilishly.
“Thanks for that, Grey,” she replies sarcastically. “I’ll head out after you two are gone. Sure you don’t want me to tag along as backup?”
“Yeah and have you flirt with him the entire night? I’ll pass.” I fluff my hair once more in the mirror and make sure my lipstick is in place.
“I’m just saying, I would give the boy a chance so maybe you should too.”
“Right, uh-huh.” I’m already halfway to the front door.
“Be safe!” I hear as the door clicks shut behind me.
8 notes · View notes
amandabe11man · 4 years
Text
a VERY LONG post about Hell on Wheels
YEAH i forgot about this post in my drafts... it’s been like a year since i finished the show now and i feel i’ve barfed everything out into this post (that i can think of), so here it goes (you’ll have to shield your eyes after the spoiler warning if you don’t wanna be spoiled btw. i can’t seem to be able to add a read more-link...) :
SO... i finished watching “hell on wheels” at last, pm half a year since i started. it’s funny because i was under the impression that i’d sOMEHOW be able to binge all five seasons within just one month (reason: i wanted to watch it before my free trial on HBO’s website went out). honestly, that wouldn’t have been possible because it was a LOT more emotionally draining than you’d think at first glance... after being gutpunched three times in a row in season 4, any reasonable human would need a little break.
anyway, it feels-- weird. i’ve never been big on following tv-shows so i haven’t been able to relate to that feeling ppl describe once they’ve finished a show they’ve become so attached to, except NOW i can relate. the show’s not groundbreaking, it’s not perfect, but i’ve had a lot of fun. what a ride it’s been...
looking back, i’d say HOW’s biggest weakness is its tendency to forget or ignore certain plot points. i guess that’s not too weird, with such an arsenal of characters, but still, i find that’s what bugged me the most, if anything bugged me at all. for example--
[SPOILERS for those who might wanna watch it after seeing me go on abt it, idk]:
first off, what REALLY grinds my gears is how ezra dutson’s plotline was handled. it was set up perfectly in the beginning; having him escape from the swede (who promised him that, and i quote: “i’ll find you, ezra! i always do”), the original plan was obviously for ezra and the swede to “reunite” some time in the future so that ezra could tell everyone that the swede killed his parents, thus tying up loose ends and giving some closure to that whole arc. some might say this would’ve been too predictable, but i would rather have that predictable storyline than having it just end unceremoniously like it did, with ezra dying ACCIDENTALLY and off-screen by sidney snow’s hand, simply as a way to further bohannon’s pain and set the stage for ruth’s final arc. this might’ve been fine, if the writers had made it so that ezra actually, y’know, TOLD SOMEONE WHY HE’S AN ORPHAN TO BEGIN WITH. but they didn’t even give the viewer that form of closure, instead just deciding to use him as a plot device for the other characters’ increased angst... bohannon and the others were never even made aware of ezra’s last name, and this is all what bugs the everliving SHIT outta me: the only ones who know, or will EVER know, ezra’s full story is the swede and the viewer, tho after season 4′s end, ezra is never mentioned or acknowledged again-- not by bohannon, and not even by the swede. ezra went from convenient character with a PURPOSE to “nameless” orphan forgotten by history. thanks, writers...
then there’s the whole deal with campbell coming to town to reinforce The Law™, which wasn’t a bad arc, mind you-- campbell and his goons were the most infuriating little shits for a while there-- but the thing is; didn’t campbell LIE to his men about the president giving him the position as governor? i might’ve misunderstood it, but i’m PRETTY sure the president didn’t give him THAT much of an upstanding role, but that campbell just went ahead and took that position anyway? if that was indeed the case, then that’s another plot hole, cause nobody finds out about campbell’s possible trickery to become the governor. nobody rats him out, despite literally no one in “his” town liking him all that much, so they’d have no reason to protect his “secret”. (correct me if i’m wrong on this one though. i might be misremembering things)
then there’s the other pretty infuriating issue of bad guys never getting called out for doing bad shit (unless it’s the swede, who gets all the blame, all the time), for example:
major dick bongbendix(???idk he had a silly name like that) is presented VERY MUCH as a bad guy in the beginning. y’know, just casually beheading natives on all his missions and collecting those heads and taking them to the bar like a fucking nutcase-- those little details. he also seemed to believe in racial biology, so yeah, definitely not a good guy. but by the end, he’s been watered down into some quirky guy who’s ALMOST on friendly terms with the main characters. yeah, uh-- seems everyone (writers included) collectively forgot the whole public display of cut-off heads he had going on...
aaron hatch: started off as a guy too proud for his- or his family’s own good when he shot the police officer, BLAMED IT ON HIS FUCKING SON and then just kinda let bohannon hang the kid even though it was pretty obvious hatch was just shifting the blame away from himself. THEN he reappears with some other mormons and causes a full-on shootout in the town (probably getting some people killed, i don’t remember), TAKES EZRA (also a mormon) HOSTAGE SO THAT BOHANNON WILL COME WITH THEM WILLINGLY and passive aggressively forces bohannon to marry his daughter who bohannon knocked up. somewhere along the line, hatch’s bad side is just thrown to the wind, and bohannon at one point describes him as “a good man”. yeah, ABOUT THAT--
sean and mickey mcginnes: unlike the ones mentioned above, these two started out as seemingly decent dudes, but ended up pm as secondary villains in the end. however, like the ones mentioned above, they hardly face any consequences for whatever crap it was they did in boston, OR the fact that they killed and fucking mutilated/dismembered a man in cold blood (a man who WAS gonna kill them, yes, but HE did it because he thought they had killed his friend, which wasn’t a farfetched idea since mickey DID brag about killing the dude even though he didn’t actually do it). sure, they face their OWN demons as time goes on, they get ostracized, and they start losing faith in each other as well, which ends up with mickey killing sean before the latter can confess(?) his/their crimes. so, while sean was spineless and a creep, at least he thought about finally owning up to what he’d done in the end, whereas mickey lives on to keep doing shady shit, killing people, and getting increasingly more corrupt. he does end up pursuing new goals in the end, but it’s obvious he’s not happy about it anymore. that’s-- really all the comeuppance he ever gets, and the only one who knows about his shady businesses are pm just bohannon, durant and eva (also, personal gripe here-- they seemed to not settle for “just” tarring and feathering the swede and publicly humiliating him, but i’m pretty sure i recall mickey telling bohannon they were thinking about having the swede killed too. keep in mind, this was BEFORE the swede truly lost it and started killing people left and right. apparently, being kind of a douche about taxes is bad enough to warrant being tortured and cast out by the entire community... i’m obviously biased here, but still-- the mcginnes bros’ double standards are amazing to behold)
now that i’ve aired some of that out-- here are some highlights, according to me:
unexpected friendships, like that between eva and durant. i’d say the swede finding that stray dog and fawning all over him qualifies into this category too
durant and campbell fighting in the mud before finally coming to an agreement -- just- durant and his competitors being petty as fuck, honestly. it’s hilarious
bohannon trying to get through to elam by reminiscing about their friendship, especially since bohannon isn’t one to show his feelings often OR get sappy -- in fact, EVERY time bohannon loses his stoic facade is a good moment. when he was gonna bury elam and he just broke down completely for the first time since we were introduced to him... that shit had me in tears as well, but man was it a great scene
jimmy two-squaws
every time the swede opens his mouth (yes, even when he’s spouting some lies and bullshit like that)
ruth’s character development. i admit i didn’t like her at all in the beginning, idk something just felt off about her, but man did she ever grow on me. just-- how everyone kinda relied on her eventually, even though she’s only like in her 20′s or something... she still became a pillar of the community. bless ya, ruth :’ı -- also, her essentially adopting ezra was Pure as heck. I Lov it
the fact that this was the 1800′s and the only backlash the (openly) LGBT characters faced for it was pm just “yeah they’re a bit confused maybe but they’re not hurting anyone”. maybe that’s not very realistic but WHO GIVES A SHIT AMIRITE
mr tao just being a sweet old man
chang’s sunglasses, straight out of Django Unchained
mr toole’s complete heel-turn from racist POS to someone who sticks by his word to turn himself around. that shit was impressive coming from him, tbh
bohannon just calmly running into a buffalo by the train tracks
mei posing as a grown man instead of a boy (which is what she looks and sounds like, oml)
another thing i realized is that bohannon is a classic gary stu. there’s just no getting around that fact after seeing him being revered by most everyone he meets, how he’s somehow the only person able to build the railroad(s) fast and efficiently, and even wooing the literal PRESIDENT and becoming close friends with him-- all this despite his Bold and Brash personality. of course, there’s more to bohannon than these gary stu-symptoms, but i felt someone should bring it up, for the lulz
16 notes · View notes
Text
athenas or the new ign videos... hmmm
im gonna go for the ign videos (moze gameplay and sanctuary-iii, no guns yet, i have a reason for that) because athenas hasn’t gotten its sweet instagram video yet. once that’s released i’ll do a full post on it. by the time i got around to finishing this post, they had released the video. oh boy... gonna do the gun post then the athenas post, i think. alright, off we go.
tl;dr: we read the entire end user agreement DAHL thrusts upon us for using the ECHO device, talk about some stuff like how (spoilers) it seems like Lilith will be getting her powers back at the end of the game, and a voice line Lily says that sounds like “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like Tannis said: [inaudible] Siren” (altho im not 100% sure on the [inaudible] part because 1) it sounds weird and 2) there’s a drum beat and also the devs are talking over her, the Siren part seems fairly accurate because of the way her mouth moves). so you know. im gonna be agonizing over that until i can hear what she says. ive already spent an hour just repeating it over and over. i nearly fell asleep lol
we’re gonna start with the moze gameplay (the first 14 minutes of bl3) because chronologically it’s first in both timeline and release date
Tumblr media
i love the license plates on the right there
also it looks like they added in claptrap’s old welcome sign from windshear waste! time to stand in front of it for 30 minutes to see if any messages pop up like bl2
Tumblr media
fast travel station as well, definitely going to see if/where i can teleport and going there immediately. i imagine this is more for DLC stuff and grinding tho.
also! i do believe we saw Covenant Pass previously. good to know this is actually where it is!
Tumblr media
Marcus saying “And Welcome to Pandora!” in the beginning confirms that, yes, they’re going to be on a bus!! i wonder if there will be a fight scene before that though. it’s interesting Clappy mentions that “those jerks who tried to murder you are the children of the vault!” so i mean... there’s gotta be... right?
im also convinced this intro is going to be a mirror of Borderlands 1. i stg if it starts out with the first few notes of Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked and then swaps songs I’m going to lose my mind
also also, the order is totally going to mimic the bl1 one. Fl4k = Mordecai, Amara = Lilith, Moze = Roland, Zane = Brick. We even have Lilith taking Angel’s spot as the mysterious voice in our heads, and probably Marcus driving, AND being dropped off at a bus stop.
bet the reason they changed it from ‘Moze as the Bot Jock’ to ‘Moze as the Gunner’ is because it fits under ‘Roland as the Soldier’ better. Also, ‘Zane Flynt as Himselfs’ would be a play off ‘Brick as Himself’. Amara as the Siren is obvious, and ‘Mordecai as the Hunter’ vs ‘Fl4k as the Beastmaster’ is pretty similar as well, given Fl4k has all those Hunter skills.
Tumblr media
the 4 basic emotes im guessing. im so glad we have the option to boop our friends in the face with emotes.
Tumblr media
also moze’s little bunny skin is adorable
Tumblr media
the ECHOnet used to be called “Riftspace”, “the Spline”, and... “MercTel: A Cyber-Dahl Joint” lmfao
Tumblr media
specifically calls out Pandora. also, “artificial megastructures”??? THAT’S SO COOL
AND FUCKING
SENTIENT MEGASTRUCTURES???? 
gearbox. please. i have never ever wanted anything more in my life. please. it’s probably my birthday. PLEASE GEARBOX
also interesting that the user agreement specifically notes ‘Respawns’. I assume this is a joke because New-U stations have been confirmed not canon
Tumblr media
“Core law”. Core law? Core... daddy? ... ????
core as in like a core government somewhere that’s not the border worlds? that’s interesting...
“The Legion”, okay, acknowledging TPS, that’s dope
“Project Blackrakk” ... im interested
“Thresher Company” lmao
im curious if Axton was apart of any of the mentioned ones. i don’t think it’s been stated, but i could be wrong
Tumblr media
“Chieftain Oort”. also ‘Recently Legless Gary’, lmfao poor dude.
Tumblr media
oh yeah im sure this is fine. also holy shit did they google the synonyms for ‘change’ and just start listing them? lmfao
Tumblr media
“implicit subscription to the Digby Vermouth ‘Dig’s Gigs’ secret concert subscription service” 
sorry, what?
if this doesn’t come up again in the future- if we don’t get a spam letter or 3 in our mailbox about this concert subscription thing i'm gonna be so disappointed
Tumblr media
Dahl hates you if you’re not a fan of hyper-jazz, “you snob” lmfao
Tumblr media
my brain hurts, they’re good at writing these 
Tumblr media
damn phones exist? i thought everything was ECHO. aight, that’s good to know. i guess there just aren’t any phone networks around the border worlds
also “shared dreamspaces” sound really cool
Tumblr media
hm. that’s no good lmfao. also i love that the buttons are ‘Agree’ and ‘OK’. there is no escape, once you agree, you can’t even leave because you’re agreeing that you’re trapped with these rules even if you cancel.
that’s fucked up, DAHL. can’t believe you treat your user base the same way you treat your employees. i guess i shouldn’t be surprised.
anyway, shoutout to literally the only TOA I’ve ever fully read in my life.
also, clicking through this TOA too fast WILL end claptrap’s voice line early. so be careful if you want to hear what he has to say!!
Tumblr media
oh shit lmao I gotta go edit that Fl4k post
ok im back ~time magic of being able to save things in drafts and post them at a later date~
Tumblr media
sliding preserves momentum, so you can actually slide (nearly) the entire way down! i love this.
Tumblr media
small, but claptrap bends his antennae when trying to be stealthy. i thought that was a pretty cool detail
“and some guns include an alternate shooting mode~! try it out!”
player: `immediately shoots claptrap in the face`
Tumblr media
i died lol
Tumblr media
a very nice look at this sign.
good to know that the twins really are tempting people to join with promises of food. i mean it makes sense, i imagine most of the cultists are desperate for stability and a reasonable life on pandora.
also, Shiv calls himself “holy influencer of the children of the vault” lol. i love that. gearbox really is going for the internet’s throat, isn’t it?
Tumblr media
i do like that hovering over an NPC will give you their name only and not name/healthbar.
a better look at one of the signs referencing the Mother!!! i was waiting for this, the only real look we got at one was in that one scene with Moze and IB
Tumblr media
“Behold the Mother strength surrender to the truth” 
Tumblr media
yeah that’s not ominous...
i assume the mother and father are intended to be tyreen and troy? but idk how i feel about that implication...
Tumblr media
i like the new little gear/spring effect for the magnet lol
Tumblr media
new lilith! i know a lot of people don’t like it, but i do. she looks better than the bl2 vers. altho i think it’s weird they swapped both bl1 and bl2′s ‘AI’ effect to those dots and then didn’t bring it to BL3. the dots effect felt cleaner. curious why they’re not applying it to bl3 when they went thru all that effort in 1 and 2.
Tumblr media
... back up please.
Tumblr media
i like that there is a changing icon for long pressing now
“time to check out our slay of the day!” sounds like Tyreen but tbh i legit thought this was moze’s reaction to opening the chest at first lol 
you can hear someone start screaming in agony while she’s walking up the stairs, so i know it’s not moze, but im so used to the VHs talking when they see a new piece of loot my brain just assumed.
also THE MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND IS A REMIX OF BANDIT SLAUGHTER!!! IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS I WAS FREAKING OUT THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT
also, claptrap when dropping health yells “this could save your life! then, you’ll owe me a life debt!” bullshit im pretty sure you already decided we owed you a life debt the moment we stepped off that bus
Tumblr media
“i see it... the great vault” - a line from a cultist you kill
i know i mentioned in this post that the Great Vault may be already opened, but it could also just be a Vault they’re planning on opening and using the propaganda to convince the cultists to help them find it. 
“if you help us get this vault open, you’ll be handsomely rewarded! you’ll get superpowers! you’ll get regular meals! you’ll get money and guns and dates!” you know, the usual stuff. 
either way, elevating the Vault to a higher state (god/heaven/whatever) makes sense if you’re running a cult.
Tumblr media
btw there is a hidden chest in the scaffolding to the left of the door, if you’re interested in grabbing some better guns before shiv. personally, i’ll be using the toy guns.
also the TVs are actually playing propaganda now!!
Tumblr media
this one is asking questions that i cant understand due to the sound effects of the chest and claptrap talking, but it says something about “... the dust? ... join the Children of the Vault!”
Tumblr media
“hey shiiiiiv all your dumb friends are dead!!”
shiv be like
Tumblr media
“all my friends are dead”
Tumblr media
some cool level-up art! I notice these are the same pictures as used on the japanese site. i wonder if they change depending on which VH you’ve picked (If you’re playing Amara/Fl4k, do you get pics of Amara and Fl4k? the player is playing moze, afterall).
also also “it’s a KIA on the knife wielding maniac. suuuper dead.” 
it’s cool that the VHs have specific lines for the deaths of bosses. i hope that continues and it’s not just a ‘15 min of intro gameplay’ thing. you know, where everything is super detailed in the beginning and then slowly gets less and less as the game progresses? anyway, moze’s little chuckle is fuckin adorable lol
Tumblr media
ah. the door closes now so you can’t even explore Shiv’s room before Lilith shows up. gearbox plS you know me too well, i was looking for a g l i m p s e
Tumblr media
claptrap’s voice line for getting released is SUPER off time, he hits the ground before going “you did it! i’m sa-ahhhhhhhh!” it’s weird, wondering if that’s just a glitch.
also also we get a nice listen to the revive ally sound. i could’ve sworn it wasn’t in the first look at this mission we got, because i heard it for the first time during the coop Zane/Amara gameplay on Promethea. i might be wrong, tho.
im very curious what these symbols are claptrap is beaming up
Tumblr media
i mean you know what im gonna say
they look eridian
and they do
Tumblr media
so wtf clappy why u beaming up eridian letters to Lilith
i assume maybe Tannis gave clappy some weird upgrade or something so he could communicate with the crimson raiders without the CoV listening in? it could be that Tannis or someone is decoding this message since Tannis does know how to translate Eridian (as shown in her bl1 ECHOs)
... or at the very least she gave Lilith a translator
Tumblr media
the darkening makes it so that you can see the crackening. also this COULD just be a beam that lilith can see from wherever she is, but i want to believe there’s more eridian stuff. bc eridian stuff is fun.
Tumblr media
this is so fu cking crisp im dying i love it
Tumblr media
lilith’s tattoos spreading down her fingers
Tumblr media
same symbol as her chest tattoo. maybe the symbol denotes new powers? like how lily has one on her chest for phasewalking, and a new one on her hand for teleportation
Tumblr media
i love how her wings look like actual fire. i fucking love this
Tumblr media
lilith is looking so fucking good in the new engine
im glad they got rid of her super red eyes, tbh it looked a bit weird
i think they are really pushing her fire affinity, im sure we’ll see Maya has an elemental affinity as well (im calling corrosive) and im sure Tyreen will too (slag). Amara looks to be Shock because that’s her ‘default’, but who knows until (if) bl4 comes out. but corrosive wings on maya would look SOOO fucking cool. please. please please please.
Tumblr media
god she looks so good compared to bl2. i love how the tattoos softly glow in the dark, too. i gotta play this mission late in the day...
“you’re... the voice in my head, right?” i love this so much, i really hope my shitpost comes true.
Tumblr media
lilith gives you a grenade mod for completing her mission! im really glad they are PUSHING through the tutorial/intro so you can get right into the game. bl2′s ‘intro’ of all these tutorials was brutal. especially waiting to unlock your action skill.
in 3 you get your action skill automatically at level 2!!! which is insane, i love it! they’re jumping right into it, it’s great. and they seem to be pushing for you to get all the stuff you need right away. 
it’s curious to note that in bl3 we get our class mods at the end of the Promethea demo (after Gigamind), since in bl2 you get your first (usually?) after the hunting the firehawk mission and both seem to take place immediately after we get to the ‘base of operations’ of the game (Sanctuary vs Sanctuary-III).
Tumblr media Tumblr media
yep that quest is 100% in line with the quest marker. 
i imagine From the Ground Up may be discovering where the Vault Map/Key actually is? maybe bringing people to the Recruitment Center (notably Tannis)
Tumblr media
for this scene. i hope this takes place after the HBC, because i seriously... can’t imagine the twins showing up, taking the Vault Map, bringing it to the HBC, and then NOT taking Lilith’s powers/trying to kill Lily and accidentally taking her powers. it just doesn’t make sense, Vault Hunters be damned, we are level 2 they could melt us easy peasy. 
Tumblr media
If anything, it feels like we COULD find the Vault Map in the Recruitment Center, Tannis tries to activate it/fix it, we find out it’s mega broke, and then the Sun Smashers show up and take it. but i seriously can’t imagine Lilith nor the new VHs allowing that to happen while they’re still there. maybe if Tannis sends us to do something while Lilith is gathering other CR members? then it could make sense if they attack while Tannis is alone with the Key...
OR
we end up finding something in Shiv’s room that shows/helps us realize the Sun Smashers bringing the Vault Map to the Calypsos. tho this would mean the quest From the Ground Up is SUPER short and I imagine it’s not. Maybe we raid a camp of theirs like the one in front of Sanc-III with the bridge/ramp? We need to be about level 6 before we go and we start From the Ground Up at 2 so there’s obviously something DEEP we’re missing here. maybe this is a mission where we go gather the other Crimson Raiders? HMMMMMMMM...
.... oh.
nevermind lmfao
she opens her ECHO immediately after this LOL i feel kinda dumb now
Tumblr media
raiding their camp it is! the Droughts sounds like a fun location. Very much like the dust. you guys think there’s a Shade situation going on there? i’m excited to see it. Still think we’re going to use Shiv’s room to get that lead, though. i just really wanna watch tv lmfao. i hope this means the bandits run from the camp to the HBC, or we find info that the bandit warchief sent a party to the HBC with the Vault Map. either way, i just don’t want the twins showing up until after the HBC or i will have so many questions. “why didn’t you kill lilith?” being the first. “the god queen wants her head!” ur goddamn right she does, so why doesn’t she (try to) kill lilith???
Tumblr media
85% already?! hot damn
also
Tumblr media
that’s one badass description there, Moze
Tumblr media
also also
while having gun slots locked is pretty normal, im surprised they’re locking class mods and relics, too! i wonder when we’ll be able to equip relics. maybe when we first go to eden-6 or smth. or maybe after we meet up with Rhys. shit maybe he’s just handing us an artifact (im gonna interchange these a lot, sorry!) in that Promethea video lmfao
“ready to chuck some boom and frag some maniacs” lol moze i love you
if you’re playing Zane... `equips grenade mod for checkmark` `immediately equips second action skill and never actually uses grenade mod`
“it’s the firehawk! the god queen wants her head!” 
like i alluded to before, i would not be surprised if Tyreen doesn’t know she can absorb Siren powers... when she goes to succ lilith in front of Sanctuary-III, it’s totally possible she actually was trying to kill her. That could explain why she looks so intrigued at her hand like “oh shit okay lets see what this can do”
Tumblr media
might be why she was okay with sending her cultists after her instead of showing up herself.
Tumblr media
“alright, we got a foothold. maybe things are turning our way. come on killer, you’re with me” we are going to explore the SHIT out of shiv’s room.
alright alright alright
let’s move on to the Sanctuary-III stuff
yessss
Tumblr media
i love the quest objective thing, it looks like we will be able to swap through our quests with the push of a button! also im curious why exactly we’re going to promethea right away. i wonder if the twins say something about moving there after getting the vault map/lilith’s powers, or if we hear from rhys. im expecting something about the vault map, since our vh will admit they don’t know rhys at all when talking to lorelei. but for some reason we need to be within the city limits? since lily says ellie got us within the city limits. 
hmmmmmm. okay, okay, maybe the map was trying to lead us to promethea for vault reasons during that short amount of time that we had it and it was working. maybe promethea is what we see when tannis is activating the key during that one cutscene? ohhh shit how dope would it be if we got that fucking easter egg message? omg “Children of the Vault. Come to Promethea. We are not on Pandora anymore. Tannis is not what she seems. Do not open the Vaults.” and everyone is like ‘uh did that thing just mention Tannis by name??’ and now it’s REALLY important to get the map back just so we can figure out wtf it’s trying to tell us. 
i will question how ‘Tannis is not what she seems’ would affect character relationships, especially if it’s said so early in the game. so perhaps we only hear the first part of the message. maybe it’s corrupted because it was recently broken. iunno. just playing around with ideas. the canon of this game is like flarp putty until sept. 13th
anyway moving on because this is literally the first f r a m e of the video
Tumblr media
i like that you can see pandora’s eridian scar. if the destroyer is speaking through eridium to people, it’s gonna bust outta the side of this planet like you wouldn’t fucking believe lmao. eridium is a window to the soul and if you stare long enough into its glossy, shining sides, the destroyer stares back
that or it’s just like a beacon, slowly spreading its influence across the universe. but i like the idea that the destroyer can waltz out of a big enough hunk of eridium. so it will bust out of pandora’s eridium scar. F in chat for pandora but also lmfao the amount of tentacles and rage would be unparalleled.
reality is that the twins are probably farming this scar for eridium to turn into slag for multiple purposes. like brainwashing their cultists, giving them powers, and ensuring their guns have their manufacturer’s quirk (im getting to this in my next post bc im just gonna compile all the ign gun videos into one big post)
Tumblr media
the floor art is different from the actual sanc-iii demo. i mention this first in my behind closed doors panel analysis, but im gonna mention it again because this is ~official~. the floor list on the first walkthru of sanc-iii we got had the names of all the crimson raiders and lines leading to their shops. so we had the infirmary/tannis, marcus, moxxi, etc listed on the floor. i imagine this new sanc-iii will change as we get more people on board or if we do a sort of re-decoration of the ship.
also also, it’s cool to see that we have 4 rooms on the minimap, likely one for each of the VHs (and your coop buddies). ive seen speculation that the other, non-played VHs will hang out in their rooms when you’re not playing them, and tbh i really hope this is the case.
we also know this version of sanctuary-iii is after pandora, so there are no promethea citizens aboard yet. which makes me double certain the first sanc-iii video we got takes place either after endgame (explaining why Lily has her tattoos back) or right after Athenas (explaining why Maya is there). which... i mean... spoilers, guys. 
Tumblr media
that’s one good lookin fast travel station, holy shit
Tumblr media
im in tears over here because “Caution: no steppy”. this is so fucking funny to me
Tumblr media
no steppy on me
okay moving on because i will cry laugh over this for forever im allowed
moze’s room is so much different than amara’s
Tumblr media
also i notice she’s on the left of the two on the top, which makes me hope the other 4 are reserved for the other VHs (or your coop buddy).
compared to the official sanc-iii demo video
Tumblr media Tumblr media
and amara’s room
moze’s is so barren oh my god
someone get this girl like... a colorful throw pillow or something
Tumblr media
baaank. also doubles as the secret stash. kinda upsetting, because that is infinitely less loot i can store when i make a lot of characters. also if i upgrade the bank once, is it upgraded across all my other characters too? or are the guns i put in storage slot 11 locked up until i buy the upgrade?
either way, i am saddened because no more mule characters. and way less space the more characters you make and more gear you find, because all gear you put in here is there across all characters. i hope this means our backpacks will be a lot bigger this time around!
Tumblr media
supamax mfg shows up again
ppm/04-02 matches up with the number behind the fast travel station. i wonder if this will come into play. if the number changes later in-game im going to freak the fuck out bc that means wherever we are isn’t actually sanctuary-iii
ppm/04-02. remember that 👀
also, the wall behind the golden chest changed from red to steel/greenish. can’t tell the actual color. same as the floor
Tumblr media
you know. that color.
“golden keys are popular. you can get some in-game and also get them online”
in-game you say??? im interested! i wonder if there will be some sort of arena (like moxxi’s) where if you complete it you get a key as a reward. i saw people speculating about some sort of randomized boss rush, that could definitely be a way to get gold keys, as well.
Tumblr media
oooo engine room! im excited to explore here.
Tumblr media
original size is 16. so, we have 40 backpack slots! still... you know... only 1 above the max of bl2, but hey. at least that’s an upgrade. as small as it may be
Tumblr media
on the bright side: bank upgrades increase capacity by 5. with a base of 10, and 8 upgrades, we have 50 slots to fill. which is a big leap from the original 24. it is still a shame we have to share these across characters, tho
Tumblr media
offline cultist stream? makes me think the CoV really was trying to steal/take over sanc-iii from the crimson raiders and we went to go take it (back?) in Taking Flight. either the CoV found/ordered Sanc-III, or the crimson raiders were building it/fixing it up, their stronghold got taken over, and the CoV were prepping it for takeover.
Tumblr media
the shooting range. and if you notice that little CoV symbol in the bottom left there? yeah pretty much backs up my previous theory
Tumblr media
all those red bits are tied to ellie’s crew challenge. so we’ll be collecting things for her!
Tumblr media
an altar for scooter 😢
Tumblr media
“we’re gonna get those cultism sumbitches, believe you me”
Tumblr media
where you get yeeted out of Sanc-III. im definitely going to try jumping in it to see if it kills me. doesn’t look like the drop pods are available yet
Tumblr media
that’s not clappy, pretty sure he’s hanging out on the bridge right now
Tumblr media
schematics for veronica
Tumblr media
the thing i was most excited about in this video!
loooots of customizations! which excites me because i know eridium used to get useless late game when you’ve grinded all the raid bosses. it looks like eridum is going to be in ultra high demand. but u can bet ur ass im gonna be unlocking all those fucking customizations asap.
Tumblr media
veteran rewards is also super super interesting
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
hgggggg i wanna know what the shields do!!! 
i like the vault symbol at the top of the item card as well, shows you its a special type of weapon/item. im honestly surprised we’re able to buy ‘veteran rewards’ so early in the game? i mean obvi we won’t have enough eridium (look at the costs!) but it’s wild it’s even accessible. im personally a fan of the first bonus ‘anointed: gain life steal on action skill end’
looks like these guns have been chosen
Tumblr media
to give them those special bonuses
i do see that just anointed is not class specific, but the ones that say anointed gunner or maybe anointed siren will be (confirmed by the devs in video).
you pay with eridium, so maybe the vending machine has some way to confer the power of eridium to the guns. or some shit. iunno. it’s possible this won’t be available until the end of the game, hence veteran rewards, and is only being shown to us right now since this is a showcasing video.
Tumblr media
pandoran civilian. no promethea civilians today folks! i am CONVINCED that the old sanc-iii demo takes place after the end of the game. at least after athenas.
Tumblr media
it’s weird seeing moxxi hanging outside her bar.
Tumblr media
is also cool to know that the 4 slot machines are actually available. seems like npcs can play them, but we can use all 4 if we want to. which is really nice
the one on the far left is called the ‘loot boxxer’ and it gives mostly guns lol. i see they are taking jabs. good for them
Tumblr media
better pic of the leftmost machines
Zer0 seems to have a bounty board? not sure if this is like a physical bounty board or if they will contact you when they want something dead, but it is cool to note. this isn’t shown in video, just the devs speaking about it.
similarly hammerlock has ‘big game hunts’ where you find “rare, challenging creatures” and kill them for him
Tumblr media
apparently we’ll be killing something known as a manvark
this book
Tumblr media
i fucking recognize this book
Tumblr media
HAMMERLOCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
in all seriousness tho
hammerlock probably isn’t in his room because we haven’t rescued him from eden-6 yet.
a cool thing about the crew challenges: as you progress through the game and do these challenges, sanc-iii will ‘grow and change to reflect the things you’ve accomplished’. altho another dev says “sometimes these are optional things, like challenges” 
so now im like oh shit we’re gonna change sanc-iii as we play the game. i wonder if that means we’ll be changing the hull, too. because you know. the blue paint job. we gotta go STEALTH. sneaky beaky into the calypsos fleety
Tumblr media
tannis doesn’t have the saurian on her table. also, interesting note, she DOES have the eridian log in the corner. meaning she must have had that before eden-6. interesting... maybe we’ll find more on Pandora.
Tumblr media
she is still covered in blood tho. idk i don’t have an explanation for that. don’t think i want to think of one, to be quite honest.
Tumblr media
oh no. (those are skulls next to all the gurneys)
“tannis plays a much bigger role in bl3 than she has in past games”. bigger than borderlands 1? that is... impressive. she’ll be running the health vending machines (which is weird bc i could’ve sworn in the promethea demo, zed was still running them... hm.)
Tumblr media
another angle of sanc-iii
Tumblr media
clappy? you good there?
the devs said they’re using him to plug a hole. i assume the calypsos shot at the ship as we’re leaving or smth.
Tumblr media
lily with no tattoos, who also looks significantly more pissed than her other sanc-iii demo counterpart
you know. because she got her tattoos.
Tumblr media
also
fucking
lilith says something right here. all i can make out is “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like tannis said. ..... [inaudible] Siren.” maybe some weird word i haven’t heard before? i swear she’s saying ‘like tannis said: a ‘m...’ Siren” but i am not 100% sure. if someone could help me out, that’d be rad.
so its sounding like lilith rushed in with explicit warning from tannis about tyreen stealing her powers, and tannis knew tyreen was some sort of Siren and warned lily, but lily didn’t listen. it could also be that lily is saying something like “im not a siren” but i can’t really hear it if she is. it sounds like she saying a word that starts with m to me. if someone could help me with this i’d owe you my life
whew. i am. fucking TIRED.
im gonna sleep for like 3 hours and then wake up and make food before the fl4k streams start.
26 notes · View notes
beca-mitchell · 5 years
Note
what was wrong with the fanfic you were reading? the one that made you all ranty
sjdkflsg
Tumblr media
we’re still on this. huh i love the bechloe fandom so much, in all honesty, and these problematic fics do not change any of my feelings towards this fandom. i also want to strive to do better and be better because i’m tired and exhausted 99% of the time and things have to change.
these are my thoughts on it - apologies for any mistakes: 
I’m mostly sorry about my ranty posts if only for the fact that I’ve gotten an influx of messages asking to share the fanfic or to share the author’s name. Though I have shared the link with some people, I’m still cautious because I’m not here to ostracize, but rather really think about the kind of space I - along with the other content creators - am shaping for people who use fandom as an escape; people who use fandom for pleasure and other mindless things.
I promise, I read all fics with as much of an open mind as I kind, but I cannot help but read through every critical lens i have available, including theory and experiences. This is largely due to me being a woman of colour in a wlw space.
Look, I know we’re all in this fandom to have fun, and I know this - relative to the lives we lead - might skew towards the side of not being “that serious” or not at all important…
…But when an author believes themselves to be capable of delivering Good content and thinks highly enough of themselves to continue to want to deliver the aforementioned “good content” please take a step back and really examine the things you’re putting out there.
as i’ve said before, the only reason why i’m not publicly dragging this fanfic/the author is because i’m so wary of how the author will react because of their already-existing attitude in this fandom.
i refuse to be a kind of …idk, “fandom gatekeeper” or any kind of gatekeeper in general.
…because I believe there needs to be an inherent opennnes and receptiveness to diversity, new concepts, and new ideas (this fandom is largely a wlw fandom. It is diverse in many ways. So gatekeeping would be awful). However, there does not need to be an inherent openness and receptiveness to ridiculously problematic and potentially harmful ideas that are touted as an idealized relationship and I think that’s where I kind of draw the line.
I’m not even critiquing the inconsistent storytelling, clear lack of a beta, or other things. Because those do not grind my gears, nor do they take me so far out of a story that i literally need to get up and leave because I was so shocked and horrified by the things I read.
No, I want to be clear: I’m critiquing rape culture, the distinction between healthy and emotionally abusive relationships, and what appears to be the worst kind of internalized homophobia - all unaddressed and put on display in the form of a supposed loving relationship.
ultimately, everybody can make their own decisions about what they choose to read and how they interpret it, but when the author themself does not even recognize the harm and potential of their work and are further encouraged by their friends to perpetuate these harmful behaviours…it’s something else and i cannot express how much it saddens me. the author further makes no strides to correct misconceptions (under the assumption that the author knew what they were doing) and rather accepts all praise, which is disturbing to say the least. the other side to this is that the author has no idea what they’re doing at all and that is potentially even more harmful for their own personal life and all subsequent readers’ personal lives if they cannot see said harm for themselves.
I have my own shortcomings as a writer. I have my own shortcomings in writing diverse relationships.
of course PP as a source material is problematic. isn’t it problematic that chloe burst into beca’s shower unannounced? yes, of course it is. it divides the fandom and it often makes for uncomfortable conversations. but this discomfort does not need to be further emulated in our own practices and we can do better; write better; create better.
Sometimes I write and write and write, and belatedly, it comes to my attention that people have misinterpreted or misunderstood something in a fic or a story. I love this because it allows me to explain myself. It also allows me to develop as a writer and recognize what I want to write and what I don’t want to write. I am willing to help bridge those gaps of understanding because I don’t ever want people to get the wrong idea. Where you stand on the issue of morality is perhaps a grey area, but I think it’s a little easier to define the lines of what is healthy in a relationship and what isn’t. I will always tag my work accordingly and try to bridge the gaps between understanding because I try to write towards the side of healthy relationships. If I happen to write an unhealthy relationship, I think it would be apparent and I think I would not be upset if people thought so about said work. I will never try to mask a disgustingly unhealthy relationship as one that is meant to be ‘loving’, that much I can promise you.
at the end of the day tho, i’m just somebody on the internet who got upset at another thing i read on the internet. i hope u’ll forgive me, but i pray even more that at least something made sense in this lil ranty thing.
EDIT (07/07/2019): **i also want to add that I know there are other problematic aspects of fandom - there always will be. Remember that anon who claimed “this fandom is toxic”?? yeah, there are a lot of things in fandom (in all fandoms) that will bother a lot of people, this is probably just one aspect - but it’s so narrow and concise that it is easily remedied.
19 notes · View notes
herorps · 7 years
Note
What are your thoughts on Daenerys's character progression? I'm curious to hear your thoughts :)
Disclaimer: I’ve never read the books but I’m an extremely invested show watcher, and will be talking about Dany’s development in the show.
Oh man, where do I begin. I mean, it’s no secret that I’m anti-Daenerys taking the throne at this point. Sure, she was a good character in the first (maybe) two seasons of Game of Thrones, and she is a fan-favorite, but if you look at her character arc as a whole, you can see that she’s doomed. Let me explain:
Season one was arguably Dany’s season. Sure you have the goings of another civil war in Westeros, but in season one, the stories in Westeros were mainly exposition (who is who, what is what, and what have they done to incite the war of the five kings in the next season). Apart from that, Dany’s perspective had a full character arc; she was sold off as a bride from her brother, she found strength in herself, and she defeated her obstacles meanwhile growing as a person. In the end of the season, she’s made the most difficult sacrifices and she is rewarded. She has become the hero to some people (though idk how). 
From season two on, however, you see kind of a decline in progression. In Dany’s development and in her plotline. There’s a major reason why in seasons 2-6, a lot of people didn’t find her storyline fascinating. It’s because not a lot is going on. Of course, Dany does the whole “free the slaves” thing in seasons 3, 4 and 5, but we’re not invested in that because it’s not Daenerys’ endgame. We all know what her endgame is (to go to Westeros and take the throne with fire and blood yada yada), but to see her spend five seasons doing things that don’t matter in the long run (she has her Unsullied and her Dothraki, it’s not that hard  to go find ships) is frankly boring. 
Now let’s get into her central character because I personally believe that everyone who still stans her is just disillusioned by: 1) she’s a woman, and 2) she has dragons. 
As I mentioned before, Dany doesn’t really grow positively as a character. She hardly learns from her mistakes even when there are lessons to be learned. What really frustrates me about Dany is that she gets into trouble but uses her dragons to get out of sticky situations and doesn’t take anything from the experience other than further knowing she can conquer the world with her dragons.
And you can argue that Dany using her dragons is important to the plot, and yes, I agree. The dragons continue to progress the plot, but Dany’s character doesn’t change because of it. She’s still the little girl throwing hissyfits when things don’t go her way who thinks she can rule an entire continent full of people who won’t particularly acquiesce power to her without a fight. 
In terms of character progression, she’s just gotten worse. She keeps saying that she’s not her father before her, but she kind of is. She, like the Mad King, is very into unusual forms of punishment, she leaves people in vaults, nails them to posts, and burns them alive. If she’s supposed to be a hero figure, she would have done what was just or even forgive because heroes do what is difficult but right. Instead she shows no mercy time and time again, and that’s going to be her ultimate downfall.
In 7x04 we see her burn not only the Lannister/Tarly forces, but also the food supply for most of the 7 kingdoms. And then she swoops down all high and mighty, claiming that she’s not Cersei, that she’s not here to burn everything and that she’s not to be feared. But then not 5 seconds later, she threatens to kill everyone who defies her and has the Lannister/Tarly army bend the knee by fear. 
And the thing is, it’s not surprising at all. We already know what kind of a queen she is. If we look back to Meereen, she’s been doing this all along. She’s unsuccessful as a ruler until she rules by fear, it’s the only way she can be effective, and because she doesn’t learn from her mistakes and literally just leaves Meereen without the assurance of a stable government, we can assume  that the same destructive fate lies for Westeros. A kingdom ruled by fear of a woman who knows no mercy and has weapons of mass destruction. You know, if she doesn’t burn everything to the ground first. 
Even the characters of the show say that she’s simply not destined to be a queen: 
“You weren’t made to sit on a chair in a palace. You’re a conqueror, Daenerys Stormborn.” – Daario
“She (Dany) considers herself a revolutionary more than a monarch.” – Cersei
And I think that those lines are the writers telling us that Dany is not the endgame. While she may want the throne, she seems to enjoy the journey more than the destination. And her journey is a path of fire and blood, and if this is what the writers are intending, then they’re doing a great job of that. The rest of us just need to stop only looking at the dragons, and see what is actually happening in the story. 
So, no I don’t think that Daenerys Stormborn is going to sit on the Iron Throne (R+L=J aside), nor do I really think she’s going to last until the end. Really, I’m just tired at everyone hero-worshiping her for no good and valid reason. And by the way, you can like a character without liking a character. 
There are a lot of thing’s I didn’t really go over that also grind my gears about Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, including why I think Dany has a terrible claim to the throne, but this post is long enough. I’ve linked some articles that go way deeper than I have if you want to go further down the rabbit hole. And if you want to read more of my wank, you can follow me on twitter ofthemyscra where I do livetweets. 
http://www.businessinsider.com/game-of-thrones-evil-daenerys-theory-2016-5
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2016/05/daenerys-targaryen-villain-game-of-thrones
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2017/08/10/a_military_strategist_explains_how_daenerys_targaryen_is_making_mistakes.html
daenerys being a white savior
29 notes · View notes
svtskneecaps · 4 years
Note
Hphm was supposed to be my way of like living out my Harry Potter years but it’s so boring and the storyline is really bland. Honestly there’s a similar HPHM game that jam city only released in China which looks so much better. I think you can actually interact with other people and there’s more free reign. It also takes place from when McGonagall becomes headmistress so it might be a different with professors and what not. I hate having the same convo with the same person (talbott) 3x a day!
“ I want HPHM to work on the storyline, continuity errors and make it more free play friendly. I also hate how repitive dialogue options are and quests never really impact you in the main story, like can’t I brag about my animagus form or the fact that I babysat Draco! It’s honestly like everyone but me was obliviated after the quest ended! Honestly I get Fly Solo is like our inside joke but must mc really say it so often! Plus my animals like never show up. I want to show them off!!! “
“ Honestly I think you probably could write better individual storylines! There’s like literally no continuity in the story. Things just don’t make sense sometimes! Like how am I on andres team for quidditch when I’m supposed to become seeker later! Why do I have to keep switching quidditch positions! Why can’t I have my friends (not just penny) cheer me up for matches like Ron and Harry. I also really want roommates in my dorm like show me their beds too! We should have a roommate hangout option! “
sorry lmao it got kind of long bc i’m a big dumb fool
honestly it’s so frustrating that jam city didn’t think most of their plot points through. like it’s really obvious that they’re writing things as they go. i don’t really mind discovery writing all that much; it’s how i write most of my stuff and it’s how the current story i’m posting is going right now (which is why i’m usually late to update; i have no idea where i’m going aside from a slight vibe)
but i’m writing some bullshit fluffy romancey crack fic for like, 35 people on tumblr, so it works for me. these are people making a HARRY POTTER GAME, so they don’t get that kind of slack
it’s weird that they force you to switch quidditch positions instead of, i don’t know, letting you PICK which position you wanted and giving you questlines related to it (and then maybe, letting you pick another position later if you got bored of it). i honestly was so unenthused with quidditch that i’m not even at the tryouts yet. i only started now because i want to get like, exp or something, for that month long thing like i’m not invested in the questline at all. the additional characters in the quidditch quest just bloat the game even farther and they don’t even develop the characters they already have
and OH MY GOD, EVERY TIME MC BRINGS UP “””FLY SOLO””” MY CHEST SHRIVELS. like it’s not funny, at least not the way they play it, and it drives me crazy. a good author might be able to play that as a flirty inside joke, but apparently the (likely underpaid) writers for this game just don’t bother (i want to give them the benefit of the doubt; i don’t want to call them terrible writers and say they can’t write good dialogue because listen, i’m a fan fiction author i’m not exactly shakespeare and i don’t even know any of their names, i don’t get to throw that stone. idk if they can’t or don’t but either way, it’s just not good writing)
the grinding is just killer. the grinding is KILLER. the grinding is the worst damn part of the whole thing and i hate it so much.
like damn bro maybe once i’ve played the game up to its current point i’ll release a set of general bulleted outlines for how they could play each of the four main storylines for the houses, like plot points and events and such, if i can think of things. like i said, i’m only in year four and if things keep taking this much damn time it might take me a couple months at least to get all the way up to the latest release
i don’t really have the time or the energy or the staying power to write each of them out in full, but bulleted outlines would be manageable so uh
we’ll see? i guess?
anyway it’s probably best to think of the side quests as totally separate from the main canon except OH WAIT, DOESN’T TALBOTT SHOW UP IN THE MAIN CANON?? I’M PRETTY SURE I HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT THAT, MAKE UP YOUR MIND, JAM CITY, WHICH FUCKIN PARTS ARE YOU GOING TO HOLD ONTO
anyway shameless self promotion, this pissed me off even all the way back in december when i first started playing, so i started making a rewrite of my own to hopefully keep continuity and make things believable (which is why i was screen recording everything; i wanted to know everything that happened and all the lines of dialogue because there was one segment after the duel where flitwick said something in response to my choice that i loved and i was never able to find what he said, so i started recording the plot moments to look back on later).
but then i stopped, because the tulip continuity error happened and i was left in the same position as jam city, because i hadn’t name dropped her either so i either had to come up with a reason for her to have never appeared prior, or i had to rewrite the beginning chapters
so i was like, oh, i’ll wait on finishing that one until i actually know everything that’s coming so i don’t run into this problem again
anyway, that’s up on ao3 and you can find it here if you’d like to read it. idk how well it holds up for general audiences, since it was mostly just a cathartic fic for while i was waiting the hours and hours for my energy to recharge. the beginning’s a bit sloppy tbh bc it was just a series of semi-connected scenes before i really found my groove, but they’re still sort of fun. in the span of a single scene i think i developed the characters and their interactions more than jam city has in the four years of gameplay i’ve made it through so far, so hey. jam city, hire me.
maybe i’ll even release the rest of the chapters i wrote (because i have more). who knows
sorry i wrote a whole essay anon uhhh i have a lot of words and feelings i guess. that’s my bad. this is honestly my passion though so seeing wasted potential gets my gears turning and i just gotta word vomit sometimes
thank you so much for talking with me about it uwu i love you
0 notes
hon3ysuckle · 6 years
Text
Entry bLog: #5
04 OCT 17
Dear best friend,
Its been awhile since my last update. Where to start..?
I’ll start off why I haven’t really been writing much. Simply put, I’ve been busy lol. There’s school, which today I had my first programming exam. Though, I’m not feeling confident on how well I did... To me learning Java is like learning a new language that deals with complex expressions of mathematical equations. When someone who knows Java (i.e. the professor or my friends) explain it to me, I understand. However, when it comes to applying it, I overthink the methods I can use to write/solve the questions. You know me, I don’t like math. With Computer Science, I have to learn all the way up to Calc 3 I believe. I wish you and I could switch traits so that I can live up to my “Asian heritage”, excelling at math and you in English. I haven’t given up and I’m still pushing to see it through. At least after this semester, I’ll know if I’m cut out for programming and whether or not to pursue it. Although I’ll be honest, I think the only reason why I decided to go into Computer Science was because of Vincent. He explained to me about its high demand/benefits, its growing industry, and how much you start off at the basic level. I think a part of me decided, “Why not?” and went with it bc I felt having programming skills would be beneficial in an ever expanding technological society. Idk, I don’t like quitting/giving up on things w/o knowing full well that I completely give it my all. Which leads me to my next point, figuring out what I actually enjoy/love doing. You’ve always told me go into writing (I hate it.), culinary, or art/graphic design. I’m considering them, but I guess whats holding me back is fear of not knowing and the fact that I’m setting myself back even more. Your gmail is still logged in btw so I got the notification of a study abroad in Cambridge, England? Fuck you. So envious of you rn, jk. Maybe I’ll go next year (if Marine Corps lets me), its been something I’ve wanted to do, although idk why since I hate writing. In Comms (love it btw), I took the Jung Typology test and it said that I’m best suited going into like teaching/counseling/psychology lol. Which also reminds me, you wanted to compare tests haha, I’m open for that. There’s a lot of things I learned from Mrs.Peters that makes me go, “Ohhh that’s why this/that happened the way it did.”. Low key though, there’s some annoying people in there who don’t know when to shut up and a bunch of kiss asses. I did run into a long time class mate from HS. She was in my KeyClub as a Sophomore when I was a Junior. So it was cool having a friend in class. As far as that goes, I feel I’m being responsible at least lol. 
Work? Work is work. I kinda hate driving there. You know, the truck situation with the gas lol. I have to wake up at 6ish to get ready and leave to be on time. It takes me about an hour to and from, however, I love the scenery when I get into the Irvine area. If you take Edinger St. all the way down, there’s this long stretch like PCH where you can do +55 mph and its beautiful. If you catch it at the right time, you can see the sun rising up in the morning, passing over Irvine Great Park and at night? You just have to see it. Its peaceful and calming to drive down that road, looking out the window, the wind blowing on your face and through your hand out-stretched. There’s also a Hello Kitty Pumpkin patch area there that I think you and your fams might enjoy going to, check it out. Working at Apple is certainly a new experience. I did two weeks of training at the Marriot hotel near the Long Beach airport which was cool. I learned lots of stuff pertaining to customer service that I didn’t learn working at JCPenney’s. From there I continued training in store, practicing how to talk to customers. It was awkward bc they were doing fake scenarios and I wasn’t feeling it, but when the real deal came, it was a smooth casual conversation. People either don’t know what they want or they know exactly what they came in for, so I let them drive the conversation. We also do this pow wow kind of thing every morning where we talk about our successes and failures and give positive/negative feed back to our team, I thought that was interesting. Working the new iPhone 8 launch day though...lets just say it was like a war zone, but I think my store handle it well after the first few hours or once they figured out how to handle the crowd. We also got this card for free Chipotle which was nice. On breaks, our break room was literally a buffet of snacks, like all the snacks you can think of. It didn’t bode well with my diet, sad*. On a side note, don’t get the new iPhone 8 or iPhone X. The 8 has minor to no new differences and the iphone X? lol. I hate the notch, and its just too expensive. I’m considering (secretly) going back to the Samsung Note 8 but I’m also getting the new apple watch so I’m stuck bc I can’t use it with the Note 8. So I guess I might just stay with my 7+. On other news, I’ve made new friends at work, most of whom have been there like +3 years and the longest that’s been there is like +10. There’s a long standing tradition of when you quit/leave, they do a “Clap Out”. One of best things I’ve seen a retail store do, ever. I’ve personally seen and done two Clap Outs. My coworkers are all pretty cool and some of the guys invited me to join them in a basketball game that they try to do each week. Btw, you need to meet these three sisters that work there, I can’t explain it but I just know you guys would hit it off well. I always get them confused bc their names all start with an S (Sheila, Shiva, and Shana I forget which lol). They’re fucking insane at parties though, especially when some of us all went to DnB’s after work. There’s also a couple who works there now lol. She got hired the same time as me, so we all got trained in the same group. Since she and I are like the only Asians in our group we kinda like stick to our own “kind”?(insert Comms terminology reference here). So her bf thought some shady shit was going on and I was just like LOL, nope. We cool now, he’s actually a softy. OHH there’s this guy named Rob or Robbie, he’s sooo fucking funny! He moved from England to the U.S. to marry his wife. Great chap, good fellow. I’m trying to learn the accent bc I think the British/Australian accent are the best. So he’s been teaching me some stuff and telling me where to go if I decide visit. Besides Rob, there’s Amelia, shes like the mom of everyone at the store, its kind of sad bc she hurt her Achilles tendon so she’s been walking/working with a cast on her right foot, but she knows like 7 languages. In fact, almost all my co-workers does Dualingo. I guess its a thing, bc most people know +2 languages there. I kinda hopped on the band wagon (I didn’t do it).There’s so much people I want to tell you about but I can’t cover all of them. All in all, I’m enjoying myself there. Definitely better than Amazon or the warehouse at least. I still get emails from them, I think I’m still an employee bc they’ve been sending me schedules for Peak 2k17-18 LOL.
Moving on to personal life, nothing new really. The nights are getting colder so I had to bust out the heavy comforter blanket which brought back good memories that made me smile. The babies are getting bigger, like huge. They’re growing too fast. William is becoming (as you so lovingly say it) a “butt”. Eric taunts and teases William just to annoy him, but they’re brothers so its going to happen for the rest of their lives. I’m sure you saw but we did a bday celebration for them at our house. There’s a lot of birthdays for my family in September so money has been spent to say the least. I surprised my cousin Megan when I bought her a card and an Apple gift card bc normally I don’t buy gifts, but it made me feel happy. I’ve been working on my Camaro with my grandpa on my free time. Since it was sitting there for awhile, it wouldn’t turn on, so we had to diagnose why that was. Turns out, it wasn’t getting any fuel to the engine so we had to replace the fuel pump injector, which resulted into a lot of work. I had to take the rear tires off and drop the the entire rear axle (which holds the wheels together) just to get access to the fuel tank. But I couldn’t get access to the fuel lines, so I had to cut through the metal in the back seat of my car and...just so much work. Long story short, it turns on lol. We’re now trying to trouble shoot the original problem of the transmission making grinding noises when shifting gears. So we took it out and found there wasn’t anything wrong with it. That then lead us to to assume it was the clutch plate (the part that allows you to switch gears to go faster) which we ordered a new part as well as Catalytic Converter (the thing that makes older cars output less pollution and past CA Smog Test). I hope I’m not making you feel dumb, just trying to explain so it makes sense (bc I make dollars $$$). Also, my grandpa got a new car. It was so random but I’m glad he’s got something drive-able. I think its a 2017 Toyota Rav 4 with a cargo unit holder on top and I think he got the same color as your car lol, go-figure.. (golightly). They had to drive it all the way down from Torrance to GG. I don’t think I’ll ever ask him to drive that car for at least a year though haha. I also signed up at a new gym called Crunch, it was like $1 and the first month is free, however they’re still building the facility so I can’t access it until Nov. I can go to the one in FV but I’m going to wait and do my normal workouts and runs at home. A lot of things going on in the news, what with NFL protests and the LV shootings. I’ve been so focused with life that I haven’t been paying attention. I will say this, something doesn’t add up to the media’s story or so the narrative that they want people to believe. I don’t buy it. When I saw the videos and heard the gun fire, it definitely sounded like 2 shooters or more, at least in my experience firing guns with other people. Taking in all the facts, I feel that something bigger is at play and operating in the shadows. Growing up I never experienced this much hate and divide in our country, but it keeps getting worse. Instead of listening, people on social media are becoming experts on why they think this is or that and trying to prove who’s wrong in the argument. Idk if you see it too. Like I said, I don’t want to get into it, just wanted to vent out a little bit to you. It’s terrible what happened and to be honest with you, after I’m done with my obligations with the Marines, I’m not so sure I want to live here anymore. I know I’m saying it now but anywhere seems better than here. People here are just different than when I was in Spain and I know you can relate too. That’s my final thoughts on that.
I know it was an extensive read and hopefully you were able to bear through it all. I also know I said that it was bc I was busy with school, work, and life, which is true, but truthfully, I held back on posting on tumblr. I think removing myself from doing that and other forms social media (SC, insta) helped out. To be even more honest, I check your twitter by searching it, I never logged on to it, even when you posted in Spain. So when you made it private I took it as you didn’t want anymore connections. I assumed/accepted that fact for what its worth and just did me. It wasn’t until later that I’d remembered you signed on automatically into my mac book did I see you were still communicating. I’d be lying to myself if you didn’t cross my mind here and there, just like now while writing this. So I didn’t want to be rude and not reply back to you. I don’t know if you noticed but I was behind your car going home one day, it wasn’t until I saw the micky mouse in the back window did I realized it was you. Hence the post on your car “lookin dirty”.You also like to park in the same small parking lot area in Adams as I do when I go to comms. That’s like asking to run into me. The only reason I avoid you is to help you not see me, but the more I try to avoid you, the more you pop up. So I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m wasting more energy in doing that when I can be putting that towards something positive. If I see or run into you, I will not ignore you, I will say hi. It’s pointless to be strangers again when we’re not. To answer your question, yes. I think we both saw Book-Off going to school in the spring semester. We said we’d go but never got around to it, but I think I’ll check it out this time when I go to Target sometime this week. I think I got something you can get Johnnie for Christmas, its called the SNES Mini or Super Nintendo. They’re on sale at Target but they’re sold out real quick. So I’m trying to cop one. It has 21 classic games on it and I think your family will have fun playing it. On the subject of spending...it doesn’t help that there’s an Addidas store at the Specturm. I finally bought me a pair of boosts...literally the most comfortable shoes ever. They’re like socks! Anyways, I hope you’re doing well! I know you are :) I can see it on your face and I’m happy. I trust your family is doing well? Your mom, John, Johnnie and Marcy? Bek ,her family and little Priscilla? Hows little Levi, Aubrey, Ozzie, and Vera? I miss seeing them like crazy! Friends too? Kiki/Micah? Your girly gang? Palmer and the girls/dance? Shit, how’s everything?! lol. You don’t have to tell me everything, I don’t expect you too. Just remember, if you ever need to talk, hmu or write. Which ever you feel comfortable with. I’m always going to be watching out/over you bc someone has too, you damn klutz (also a big baby). Until the next update, peace!
- JG
P.S. 
That SNL Levi Woke’s tho?!?! Also, this might be asking for a lot but since it’s October, I was wondering if you could make those limited edition red candy popcorn balls for me? As far as delivery, we can work that out later. Was thinking like hiding it in the library somewhere I can find it. One last thing, I need some advice on choosing: Super 73 or the Stealth B52 Bomber Electric? Google it and lmk. Thanks!
0 notes