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drchucktingle · 25 days

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autistic expression in a neurotypical art gallery

this morning i thought i would talk about AUTHOR VOICE specifically when it comes to AUTISM. as autistic author i have learned to turn the dial up and down when writing characters. rose from CAMP DAMASCUS is basically exactly where i rest on spectrum and this shows in a few ways

in roses internal monolog you will see that she uses phrases like ‘my friend’ to talk about folks where neurotypical buckaroos might just use first name. or with her parents she will think of them in FIRST NAME instead of ‘mom’ or 'dad’. this is way many autistic buds THINK

to explain this trot I will say it is not a way of disrespect or anything like that, it is simply that these terms are TECHNICALLY all correct and interchangeable. socially, autistic buds often learn to mask by pinpointing WHEN to use these words that logically the same to us.

in CAMP DAMASCUS i left these things in to create character, but if you go back in my writing you will see it. in TINGLERS this is because they are honest in PUNK ROCK way. unfiltered expressions. in earlier novels its admittedly just because i did not realize it was unusual yet

point is, ROSES internal dialog in camp damascus is neurodivergent and i CHOSE not to change her thought process in this way, because we are BOTH autistic. this can be a risk because some neurotypical buckaroos will read it and just think ‘what a strange way. this is bad writing’

camp damascus reviews are actually very good it is a very well received book by any measure, but you will see some folks kind of making fun of these traits (i do not think they would do this if they knew it was authentic autistic way BUT we cannot educate EVERYONE on this trot)

POINT IS i am now faced with an artistic choice in later books. do i write with my AUTISTIC voice even though some neurotypical readers find it awkward? in technical sense some readers WILL think each book is better if i eliminate my autistic tendencies in later edits

my advice is this: character voice IS SO IMPORTANT, but a big part of writing is finding the place between YOUR voice and your CHARACTER voice where both are authentically existing in some way. like acting, you are always bringing something of yourself even when you 'disappear'

when writing BURY YOUR GAYS i did not plan to make misha on the spectrum, but misha is part of me and i am on the spectrum. what i have realized over time is that ALL OF MY CHARACTERS will have these traits in some way because i wrote them, and i will never disappear completely

so when edits came for BURY YOUR GAYS and misha, i took that dial and i turned it farther towards neurotypical than i did with rose, BUT I DID NOT TURN IT OFF COMPLETELY. in literal sense, i left some of those ‘my friends’, because i will always bring MY VOICE to my art as well

i am proud of being on the spectrum. while my voice may not hit every convention of ‘good writing’ it is authentically ‘MY writing’ and i think that is more important than any outside checklist for ‘correct literary expression’. and guess what THE RESULTS ARE IN, MY BOOKS DO WELL

so if you are an artist getting feedback or reviews, consider which parts you can LEARN FROM and grow and change, and which parts are just AUTHENTICALLY YOU. because while your honesty may defy conventions and seem unusual to some folks, IT IS OFTEN WHAT MAKES YOUR ART SING

feel free to turn that dial marked 'YOUR TRUE VOICE' up and down when it makes sense. i do this all the time. but i have long since decided i will never turn that dial OFF completely. your voice is your POWER buckaroo, dont be afraid to sing with it

#writing #actually autistic #chuck tingle #love is real #camp damascus #bury your gays #buckaroo lifestyle #tingleverse #queer horror

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cerastes · 1 year

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I think some people need to hear this, so I want to say it.

The moment you start taking something seriously, that moment you decide “I’m going to improve at this, I’m going to become better at this”, you become slightly worse at it. This applies to everything: Art, games, sports, analysis, research, anything. You become slightly worse at it because you are actually thinking about it.

For most things, most people tend to run on autopilot, not particularly thinking too much and getting it over with or just enjoying it in the moment. When you really want to improve at something, though, you become slower and a bit worse at it, because now you are thinking about it, you are noticing things, you are making conscious decisions that are not as fast or as spontaneous or as natural as you just simply doing it. Now you’re performing, or attempting to.

This isn’t a bad thing.

It’s because of this period of temporary perceived weakness that we improve. That which we analyze, mull over, think hard about it, we start internalizing it, and the more we internalize something, the better we become, because that now becomes a part of our autopiloting, if that makes sense to you. Slowly but surely, that thing you really needed to focus on to do properly now just comes naturally, and now you have a much better skillset without thinking about it.

And what happens after? Since you became better, you also understand more, and can notice more things, more things that those really good at the thing do, more things that you were doing wrong all along, and can now identify it was bad and that you have to correct it, and now you have more things to think about and internalize. The cycle repeats. You become better through periods of being worse.

It’s a cruel balance.

Ask any illustrator or writer: First comes the honeymoon period where they are improving by leaps and bounds with experimentation, thought, and exercise. Then comes the downs. “Oh I am so god damn bad at drawing”. “I can’t write to save my life”. Why? Because the artist learns, and they can see things they couldn’t before, and now they see their improvement, but they also see their flaws. It is at these crossroads where the artist will ask themselves, “do I dare go through this period of self-admonishment, or do I go back to the comfy laurels?” The comfy laurels are stagnant, they never stop blooming, but they only bloom once. The self-admonishment is a harsh self-imposed winter, but the flowers that grow after it passes bloom several times, and as the snow clears, yet another crossroad stands before you, and we go back to the same question once more.

It’s a beautiful balance.

Where I am going with this is, if you find your commitment to something has instead made it harder, has made you sluggish, has made you see perhaps too much for your own comfort: Hang in there. These are growing pains. You need these, and they aren’t wonderful to go through and good lord do they weigh heavily on you... Why? Because you care. That’s why you’ll improve. Hang in there.

It’s a necessary balance.

Hang in there. You’ll improve so much. You’ll be incredible, and then go on to agonize hundreds of times more and improve thousands of times more. Hang in there. If it was easy to improve, then there wouldn’t be merit to it. It’s hard because it matters, it’s difficult because you care. If you didn’t care, you’d be blind to hardship, but to so many beautiful things you can only experience after you’ve sought adversity. In the end, the rest follows, but only if you follow through.

Hang in there. You are getting better.

#oh I've made a serious post on the clown blog

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radiantmists · 5 months

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so murderbot assumes that three offered its armor because it doesn't understand that the armor can belong to it and thinks mb taking the armor is just good resource allocation.

but if it assumes it doesnt have control over the armor, it would probably let whoever it sees as in charge (maybe ART?) handle it, or at least make the suggestion directly to that person. even newly freed in NE, it's willing to give its security advice (on hostage situations being undesirable) even if it doesn't expect to be taken seriously. it doesn't make sense to me that it would have so much trouble expressing the offer if it were just a security suggestion.

and then i think about how murderbot says later in the book that even if three felt fondly toward its fellow SecUnits, the govmod would prevent it from expressing that care or knowing it was returned.

so-- imagine you're three, and you havent yet internalized that you can just say "i care about you and dont want you to get hurt" to another SecUnit; but you can make sure that it has every resource it might need; you could probably do that even before the govmod was hacked.

you can't explain why, but you can hope that the gesture is explanation enough, and you can look for similar caretaking gestures in return; things like being given code and advice to do your job better, and being reassured when you express that you're finding said job difficult.

i think *murderbot* isn't aware of this language of care, because it hasnt had much opportunity to bond with other constructs. but three probably is, and probably knows how to read between the lines and guess that murderbot is starting to care about it, too.

#system collapse #system collapse spoilers #murderbot spoilers #the murderbot diaries #secunit three #maybe this is obvious #but i just got really caught on that bit abt 3 not being able to know if its feelings were returned #bc on the one hand its a really heartbreaking example of how fucked up the governor module is #but it also feels like a bit too much of an absolute #if mb could write a hack of the govmod surely three + its fellows could do a few unnecessary but kind things for each other #its just that they could never *confirm*#still hellish but not the total isolation mb seems to imagine #murderbot diaries

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soupandsimple · 5 months

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Coach P. (With James Potter)

[ gym coach James being called out by a student for often visiting you during their art class ]

* simple fluff 💜

** muggle au

This was requested: see the ask here

……………………….

Knock knock knock

You looked over to the little window of your classroom door while in the middle of demonstrating to your students how to create clean, even coverage brush strokes with a paint brush and saw James Potter, the school’s gym teacher waving at you.

You smiled, held up your pointer finger informing him to give you a moment and continued on explaining the method.

“There, that easy” you said to the group of twelve year old children once you finished. “Now I want you all to practice this technique on the mosaic sheet designs you made yesterday. I’ll be coming around checking your progress in a bit,” you concluded.

As the kids stood up to gather their painting supplies from the back of the room, you went over and finally opened the door.

“Sorry for the wait” you apologized to James.

“No, no- you’re here to do your job. I have no trouble waiting around for you…here, I brought you these” he said, handing you a bag of fruit snacks that were carried in the school’s vending machines.

“Ugh, you know I can’t say no to fruit snacks” you admitted as you grabbed the bag. “I’ll just save them for later, it makes me sad to eat them with the students watching” you forced a little laugh as you set them on your desk.

“Such a thoughtful thing you are,” James half joked, half gushed.

“As are you coach Potter,” you playfully bantered back, resulting in a shared shy laugh as you each looked in different directions.

“No but seriously though James, thank you for the snacks,” you spoke in your normal tone of voice now, with a smile of gratitude on your lips.

Before James could reply, Lawrence, one of the more outspoken boys of his year, called out, “Hey coach P, why do you always come in here during our class?”

Some of the students laughed while others internally gasped and stared at each other with knowing looks, looks that told you they all speculated there was something between you and James.

“Uhh..well it’s my free period Lawrence,” James replied back as casually as he could.

“Yeah but you like always come in here, can’t you go home during your break or take a nap?”

“No, work is still work. I can’t leave the school and I certainly can’t sleep.”

“That sucks Coach…I bet you still look forward to your free period everyday anyways don’t you?” Lawrence said with three comical eyebrow wiggles.

A group of girls giggled and even you wanted to laugh at the fact that James was being called out by a twelve year old but luckily you were able to contain your lips in a subtle smile.

A red hue quickly spread across James’s cheeks as he let out an airy chuckle, “Okayyyy Lawrence, enough of that. Why don’t you get back to your work.”

Lawrence shrugged and went on about his business.

What the students didn’t know was that during the summer, James and you had been set up on a blind date by mutual friend Remus Lupin but that once you met and found out you’d be working at the same school that year, you both decided it’d be better to keep things simple and just be friends. The feelings between you two, however, were undeniable and it was really only a matter of time before you both accepted you were not meant to limit yourselves to a friendship.

“Well, I should go,” James said pointing to the door with both hands then walking backward towards it to keep an eye on you. “But oh, hey, you going to Rem’s birthday dinner tomorrow night?”

“Mhm,” you nodded.

“Good, um me too. I’ll see you there then?”

“Yeah, see you there,” you assured him happily with a little wave goodbye.

James smiled and cutely saluted you in exchange of a wave and as he walked out of the door, Lawrence eagerly shouted out …

“Have a good weekend coach P!”

… to which James pretended not to have heard and kept on his way without a look back.

Naturally though, he couldn’t help the small smile that escaped his lips as he exited, just as your lips did the same inside because you both knew you’d be getting to see each other outside of school hours for a change; and well, that certainly made for a good weekend. <3

#james potter x reader #james potter x you #james potter fluff #james potter x y/n #james potter imagine #james potter fic

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writerblue275 · 5 months

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What pet names would Heartsteel use for their S/O? And what pet names would they like to be called?

Inspiration: None honestly, I’ve just been thinking about it and I think it would be cute.

Genre: Headcanon

Category: Like 95% fluff with one of the member’s (LOL Kayn’s) going a little suggestive. But definitely not like full NSFW.

Gender: 99.999% Gender Neutral, but there might be an occasional parentheses with optional gender specific language for those that are comfortable with it. (Believe me, I get it, I’m non-binary so I do try and keep things as GN! as possible!)

TW: A bit suggestive for Kayn’s, so just to be on the safe-side let’s go 18+ ONLY. MINORS DNI. A mention of alcohol. Also swearing because I swear. 🤷🏼‍♀️

A/N: This will be a bit shorter but that’s just because we have to get through all members both calling and being called pet names.

Aphelios

Pet names for his partner:

I think his pet names for his partner would be very sweet!

Of course there are the classics like “baby” or “babe.” I feel like there are the main ones he’d stick to in public. Another one he’d use in public is “honey.”

But in private I think that’s when his soft side would really come out.

He’d enjoy “cutie,” especially if he knows it makes you blush.

He’s a creative guy, and I think he’d also have some creative pet names.

Especially if he’s trying to turn up the romance/soften you up for something.

Ex: “Starlight,” “sunlight,” “my sun/sunshine/sunlight…”

And if he’s feeling sassy? You “goober” (with a smile and eye roll).

Pet names from his partner:

Just as he likes to call his partner sweeter pet names, I think he’d also like to be called sweeter pet names.

Although again, I think the sweetest ones he’d like you to reserve for him in private.

So “babe,” “baby,” “honey,” and maybe “love” it is in public.

“Cutie” is one he’d secretly love. He’d roll his eyes with the typical Phel sass but you see the way the tops of his ears turn pink.

And you know how he’s creative? Well don’t be afraid to get creative back!

You could make him melttttt with a pet name.

Like “my moon” or go full out with “my moon and stars.” (Especially in response to him calling you “my sun/sunshine.”) His internal response is: :))))

A way to playfully tease him for staying so late at the studio is to call him your “owl/night owl.” (He loves it).

Ezreal

Pet names for his partner:

Pet names with Ez would be so PLAYFUL.

And they would definitely start early on in your relationship.

Even on dates in public he’d be more open with pet names. (Though of course because of who he is both of you are a little incognito with hats, sunglasses, masks, etc...)

Why can I see him calling you something like “pumpkin,” “honeybunch,” “sugar,” “cupcake,” (LISTEN IT’S NOT JUST VI’s NICKNAME FOR CAITLYN DAMNIT) or “peanut?” (Even if you’re taller than him it does not matter, you’re his peanut.)

Lmao Kayn once heard Ez call you “honeybunches” and he was FLABBERGASTED. 😂

Omfg he would absolutely use pet names when trying to get something. Pet names and a pout? The man knows what he’s doing.

Absolutely loves that his pet names make you blush so easily, especially if he whispers them in your ear.

He’s such a lovable menace and I adore him.

Pet names from his partner:

OH THIS? THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN.

Because our man Ezreal can absolutely take as good as he gives.

An obvious one would be “bunny.” (Listen have you seen his smile on the cover art?)

When you called him “bubba” and your “love bug” for the first time, his face lit up like a kid in a candy store.

The more chaotic, the better to catch his attention.

We’re talking shit like “dreamboat,” “goober,” or “cutie-patootie.”

The first time Kayn heard you call Ez “dreamboat” water came out his NOSE he was so surprised.

Will love whatever pet name use because whatever you call him, he’s yours!

Kayn

(A/N: Alright listen this went a little suggestive but LORD help me I think he’d be SHAMELESS with pet names. 😳😏)

Pet names for his partner:

Out of all the members, I feel like Kayn would give the least amount of shits about hiding a relationship in public.

So he’s definitely not holding back from calling you pet names in public (now of course the man is smart enough to know which ones are better to keep private).

But “Babe?” ✅ “Baby? (Baby girl)” ✅ “Angel?” ✅ All totally fair game in public.

In PRIVATE??? 😏😏 Oh my friend get readyyyyy.

This man is a TEASE and you know he’s using pet names as a way to really fluster you. (Though of course he’s being sincere with them.)

Like “hottie,” “kitten,” (CAN YOU IMAGINE??) and “sexy.”

“Sexy” is like the most common pet name he uses for you PERIOD. Ex: Basically every day when he gets home he greets you with a kiss and a soft “Hey, sexy….”

More gender specific, if you were comfortable with it, he’d 100% call you “prince” or “princess.” (Someone get me a FAN 🥵.)

Pet names from his partner:

I think whatever his partner called him would be….not necessarily critical to Kayn, but it would still mean quite a bit.

I think he considers some pet names a little bit like affirmations, in a way. Like when he calls you “hottie” or “sexy” it’s because that’s how he sees you (appearance-wise) and he wants you to KNOW that’s how he sees you.

PLEASE do the same with him!!

Hearing YOU call him “hottie,” “sexy,” or “handsome” immediately banishes any insecurities he might have in the back of his mind.

And you cannot tell me he doesn’t love hearing any of those pet names whispered/murmured in his ear as you wrap your arms around him. I just don’t believe you.

Absolutely call him “Babe” in public. He loves that shit. I don’t think he’d mind if you called him “handsome” or “hottie” in public either, but those would be more for like when you two are having a convo together in a public space, if that makes sense. “Babe” would be to capture his attention.

Random: In private, besides calling him “sexy,” he secretly loves some of the older-school pet names. Like if you want him to MELT? Go old school.

“Darling?” His insides are a puddle and he’s ready to do whatever you need him to do.

(LMAO I had wayyyy to much fun with this, but his headcanon was what made me think about the rest of the group and what they’d like!)

K’Sante

Pet names for his partner:

I think he’s fine with using pet names in public. Like maybe nothing wild but he’s not going to necessarily hide you (though of course he’ll do what he needs to do to keep you safe).

K’Sante could use a mix of “old-school” pet names with more modern ones.

“Babe” is the primary one he uses in public.

Could totally see him using something sweet like “squish” or “boo.” (The mental image of this giant man using something like “Boo” is just amazing.)

If he helps you with an outfit, once you’re done dressing he’d absolutely be like “damn look at you, my model. You look phenomenal.”

Would absolutely use “handsome,” “beautiful,” “gorgeous,” or “stunner.”

I fully believe this man is an excellent cook. And because of that, he’d definitely throw some food-themed pet names in there. I’m thinking “pancake” or “peaches.”

Pet names from his partner:

Again, this man doesn’t really care if you call him pet names in public. Have you seen his sheer size?? People would be insane to mess with him and you (I’m thinking Travis Kelce with Taylor Swift vibes here).

So go for it! Call him “babe” or “baby.”

After they debuted, you affectionately teased him by calling him “hot shot.” Jokes on you though because he actually really likes that one now.

As we’ve discussed, K’Sante can cook along with being hella stylish. So he acts annoyed but really loves it when you sidle into the kitchen and say something like, “What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”

Again, this man knows how to DRESS. Loves hearing you call him “handsome” as you help him with some last touches on a look.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I get such good energy from Heartsteel K’Sante. I feel like he’d give excellent hugs and be your A+ “teddy bear.”

Likes some of the joking pet names you call him! Like when you thank your “stylist” after he helps you get an outfit together and get dressed. (Because let’s be real, he’ll probably have the better fashion sense in the relationship, that’s just how it goes.)

One that doesn’t quite work due to it being tied to pop culture in our world but the VIBE fits: “Hercules.” (Or “HUNK”-ules as the one muse would say.)

Sett

Pet names for his partner:

This man 👏🏻 LOVES 👏🏻 PET NAMES.

To the point that you don’t remember the last time he used your name. In fact, if he uses your name, it’s a clear indicator something is WRONG.

Will definitely use some of the classics in public like “babe” or “baby.”

He’d definitely get creative too. Like you know how he’s “the big boss?” (Hehehe lyric tie-in DUH).

If you ever came to visit him somewhere while he’s working, he’d jokingly call you his “assistant” as he pulls you into a big hug.

Ex: “Oh hey! It’s my amazing assistant who so kindly brought me lunch! How’s your day going so far, baby?” (He wouldn’t keep calling you his assistant throughout the interaction. It’s more of just a funny little greeting for when he first sees you.)

In private, he loves to use “angel,” “doll,” “sexy,” “beautiful/handsome,” or “sugar.” (Would also use “Prince/Princess” if you’re comfortable with it.)

He really knows how to make his partner smile and blush from pet names LET ME TELL YOU.

Pet names from his partner:

Just as much as he loves using pet names on you, he LOVES when you use pet names on him!!

Only call him Sett (or even more so, Settrigh) if something is wrong. You’ll get his attention INSTANTLY.

Of course, “babe,” “baby,” and “honey” are a-ok for use in public. I also think he wouldn’t mind a couple other creative ones being thrown in there every once in a while, even in public

An obvious one to use for him is “boss.” (My parents call each other “boss” and it’s actually very sweet!)

I feel like Sett would have a really romantic side (I mean, Mama didn’t raise her son to be a jackass of a partner here).

So when he does let that romantic side show, call him “Prince Charming” and watch his face light up. (I know that’s technically a pop-culture reference, but Prince and charming could feasibly come together in a world without Cinderella. Another pop-culture one that doesn’t work as well (unless we imagine Shakespeare existing in Runeterra) is “Romeo.” But the vibe fits Sett so I’m including it here.)

Another one who loves it when you call him “sexy” or “handsome.” (And you do it often because HOW COULD YOU NOT??)

Feel free to get creative, especially when you’re alone. Sweet or otherwise, he just loves hearing what names you create for him.

Yone

Pet names for his partner:

Yone is interesting. See, to me he has the highest likelihood of using more “traditional” pet names.

But make no mistake, traditional doesn’t mean boring.

The AFFECTION he puts into the pet names he calls you!!! (Like I’m going mushy just thinking about it.)

He’d be very low-key in public. Like maybe a soft “love,” “honey,” or “dear.” Usually though, it’s your name. (Hey he loves saying your name! Your name makes him happy.)

In private is really where his soft side shines and he’s much more verbally affectionate.

“My love,” “sweetheart,” “my beloved,” and “darling” are big favs of his to use.

He’d absolutely have a couple surprisingly cheesy ones. Like “pumpkin,” “dumpling,” or “sunflower.”

Always loves your reactions to him using pet names for you, especially your delighted expression when he uses the cheesier ones!

Pet names from his partner:

In a similar way to using “old-fashioned” pet names for you, I think he’d love it if you used some of the same ones for him!

Especially in public. I just see him as one of the more private members. But in public feel free to call him “love,” “honey,” or even “babe/baby” when you’re talking together.

Loves when you’re soft with him in private. This man works so very hard and sometimes he just needs some good cuddles and loving pet names.

Enjoys being your “darling,” “lovey,” and your “genius.”

And you have him wrapped around your little finger the second you say “My love…”

I talked about in my last headcanon how I absolutely think Yone loves to cuddle in private (and maybe when he’s drunk but that’s a different story).

You’ve started calling him “koala” because of how cuddly he gets and he secretly LIVES FOR IT.

But he will deny it to his dying breath if you accidentally say it in front of the guys. (Lmao you think Ez and Kayn are going to let him live that down??)

Thank you very much for reading! It’s been really fun to get back into creative writing now that I have this new account! 😊

#heartsteel #heartsteel headcanons #headcanon #heartsteel aphelios #heartsteel ezreal #heartsteel kayn #heartsteel k'sante #heartsteel sett #heartsteel yone #league of legends #fluff #heartsteel x reader

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olderthannetfic · 2 months

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Genuine question: what's the point of writing fanfic? As in, what's the purpose? No one in the fandom I'm in comments on fics and I even got told off by one person for doing so, as it "encourages bad writers and makes them think they're good". So it seems that it's a lot like book writing, where people work hard and are creative, but instead of getting paid and getting comments on the work, you just sit there silently hoping someone will press the kudos button and make a number go up. I feel like that time and work could be better spent on making something you might get some kind of profit off of. Don't get me wrong, I love doodling fanart, but I don't post it, as I'm aware that there's no point to doing so, and while it's a nice way to fill the time on a commute, it's not something that takes me as much time and effort as fanfic does. So... why do people bother? Sometimes I describe ideas I have and people I know in my fandom will tell me I should write it, but I don't see why. I get more interaction from just saying "imagine if [thing here]" than I would by sitting down, writing for hours, editing and posting [thing here], so what would the point be? I'm not punching down or going "haha women and their fanfic lol!", I genuinely do not get what the point is and this blog feels like it might have someone reading who knows the answer.

Do you make art for profit? Genuine question.

There's nothing inherently wrong with being motivated primarily by external factors, but it's not actually why a lot of people create things, whether it's books or recipes or doodles in a notepad.

I enjoy the actual process of writing.

I think many people lose sight of that aspect in an era where tons of <500-word fics that are mostly outlines and "Imagine if..." posts get disproportionate attention for being easy to consume. But the satisfaction of doing a bigger art piece and doing it right is real and motivates a hell of a lot of creation.

I suppose you might be thinking "Okay, but why not just write it alone and never post?", but I like sharing. Showing off my finished creation is part of the joy, and sharing with other people like me is too. But those aren't quite the same thing as worrying about kudos. It's like dressing nicely when you leave the house because you feel great when you know you look good vs. needing another person to tell you you look good.

To be honest, though, this type of feeling has grown in me the better I've gotten at a craft. The closer my finished projects get to the vision in my head, the easier it is to find them fulfilling and to be excited to share them. When I fall short of my own ambitions, it's discouraging no matter how much attention I might get from others.

I feel like it's time for my regular reblog of Adam Westbrook's video essay series The Long Game.

vimeo

youtube

The third and least known in the series is all about this idea of who you're making art for if you're not getting material rewards in the short term. It talks a lot about autotelicity—being internally driven instead of externally.

But if you really just want clicks, anon, start a blog that accepts anon asks and posts about wanky stuff. Actually tag things, unlike me, so people can find you.

No, writing for attention isn't worth it.

The time investment is too great and your brain will always fixate on the times people didn't respond instead of the times they did.

But that's not actually why most people write.

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notbecauseofvictories · 2 months

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Hi Sarah, I'm going to visit Chicago in a couple of weeks and when I think of Chicago I think of you. What would you recommend I visit/do?

Unfortunately, Chicago is not its best self for a couple months---while I maintain that the city is for all seasons, summer is undoubtedly when it's most alive. However, there are a couple things I will definitely recommend for the unseasonably warm spring traveler:

(1) Eat some food

A friendly word of warning: do not be tricked into eating Giordano's or Lou Malnotti's. Perhaps your companions might try to win you over with promises of Chicago-style hotdogs---do not be swayed! You must manfully resist! (Harold's Chicken is that good though, and if you're close to the one in Hyde Park, feel free to devour the three piece dinner of your choice. Cheap bottle of the too-sweet wine I preferred as an undergrad optional.)

A much better option is to find a place that serves whatever food you love, but does it really really well.

Do you like sophisticated twists on a brewpub menu? Try Moody Tongue in the South Loop

Or are you really more of a tapas person? Highly recommend mfk in Lincoln Park

Would you prefer something a little....meatier? My favorite steakhouse in Chicago is Tango Sur (though I would argue their empanadas are really the showstopper)

There's nowhere in the city that does Hong Kong-style barbecue like Sun Wah in Uptown---I just stopped by after the parade for the Lunar New Year, the duck is to die for.

Are you on the West Side? First of all, do not go to Big Star. I mean, it's fine, but....come on. I'd pick Forbidden Root instead, or head over to Pilsen for Rubi's if you can't survive without tacos.

There are so, so many different bars I would recommend. Chicago was the home of bootleggers for a reason, goddamn it. Still, if you can't get to Wang's (look, I like Violet Hour too, but sometimes you don't want to drink in near-darkness), Koval (the rare distillery in Chicago), or any of the many, many craft breweries we have in the city right now, you probably can stop by one of the many, many, many bars we have in Chicago, and get a drink anyway.

There are more---of course there are more!---but we don't have all day. So instead I will leave you with this bit of wisdom: don't eat at Navy Pier or anywhere too close to Lincoln Park Zoo. If you are at a bar, don't settle for a burger when sometimes, the chicken tenders are actually better. And if you absolutely must go somewhere for pizza, choose Pequod's.

(2) See a thing

Chicago has many things in it! So many things! A hundred thousand things! Unfortunately, I don't know what you're into, so I will just talk about them in general.

MUSEUMS: I am a devoted museum-goer, and Chicago has blessed me with an endless feast. There are the big ones, of course---the Field Museum of Natural History, the Adler Planetarium, the Shedd Aquarium, the Museum of Science and Industry, the Art Institute of Chicago. However, my favorites are smaller, more unique: the International Museum of Surgical Sciences, Intuit (though it's temporarily closed, more's the pity), the Institute for the Study of Ancient Cultures at UChicago, the Lincoln Park Conservatory. That's not even all the museums in Chicago! That's not even all the museums that I've been to. It's amazing.

EVENTS: I once joked that I was a person who needed to schedule her enrichment like a blue-haired senior, but the joke was on me---I am that person! Fortunately, Chicago supports me in this endeavor by publishing many, many different calendars of "what to do this week or weekend". Do you want to see something onstage? Well, here you go. How about some classical music? I have a trusty guide. What about non-classical music? Always go to the Chicago Reader for that. Are you thinking of catching a game? Well, we're still in spring training for the Cubs and Sox, but the Bulls are doing okay even if the Blackhawks aren't, and we've got soccer (male and female) now too!

(Unfortunately, the Chicago Sky aren't playing right now, they're my favorites.)

OTHER: Unless you are extremely efficient, coming here and eating good food, doing one other thing, is more than enough. I promise it is! However, if you have more time, I definitely recommend just---wandering around. The Loop in particular is great for this, because it's reasonably small and everyone there is busy doing things. Going places, talking on phones, getting into or out of ubers, protesting outside of the Daley center, etc. etc. It's amazing to watch, and the buildings are pretty neat too.

Or you could wait a couple months, and take the Chicago Architecture Boat Tour, which I think should be a requirement for all Chicagoans. Maybe even everyone alive in the world. Just saying.

(3) Walk along the lakeshore

Chicago offers many delights, but I really do believe that Lake Michigan and its vast expanse of water, sky and space, is a unique gift to the city. It is beautiful in winter, in spring, in storms, in sun. It is free. You can sit in the grass or the sand or amble along its broad paths for miles, looking at unexpected art installations and waving grasses and the way the beaches slope to the water; you can talk to a friend or watch bikers and joggers pass you by. In the summer, there are a dozen different stands offering warm elote or cold soda, and cheerful men on jingling bike carts that will sell you neon orange push pops. In the winter, there are still bikers and joggers but also Canada geese, and you can stare mournfully at the slate grey water and ponder existence.

It is the heart of Chicago. Nelson Algren called us an "October city, even in summer"; Carl Sandburg described us as a shirtless dude who gives great oral. Personally, I think of Montrose Beach in the setting sun of winter, the sand almost too cold to touch---and beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

#city of the big shoulders

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lineffability · 2 months

Text

The Serpent Files 🐍

chapters: 5/5 rating: M/E wordcount: 13.9k au: human, the magnus archives

summary: Aziraphale works as the head archivist at Eden Institute. Crowley has been supplying them with potentially cursed artifacts over the years -- until he himself gets entangled in a case that turns him from associate to client...

[ art credit and support credit and 1000 hugs to: @chernozemm my beloved ]

start reading:

“Ouroboros. Yes. The introductory statement is meant to be concise, though, akin to a title. You can describe the necklace in detail in your statement, Crowley. Also, I need you to state your name. It occurs to me I don't actually know it. I mean. I'm not saying I want to know your full name, or anything. Just, all these years– erm. You'd have to state it anyway. For formality's sake. We have a system.”

“Sure. So. Name's Crowley.”

“I… know that part. [sighs] Full names, please, throughout.”

“Ah. Anthony J Crowley.”

“I said full names, please. What's the J stand for?”

“Erm. Uh. Just a J, really. Thought it added a certain gravitas, y’know, flair. Je ne sais quoi. Makes people treat you serious, a J like that.”

“Uh. Alright. Well. Anthony J. Crowley, then. I suppose. Seriously? [clears throat] So. Please start from the beginning.”

“Mmmmhhhh wellll. I’ve been coming to Eden for, what, now, six years maybe?”

“I believe so. Yes.”

“Anyway, not like I go here often. We’ve met a handful of times, you and me, maybe nine, ten? I mean, it was ten times. I know. Uh. Not like I counted or anything. Just, coming here, it stays with you a bit, doesn’t it? All that occult shit. Which is why I come here, of course. I’m – what should I call it? A… supplier. Of sorts. I work with – this is confidential, right?”

“Yes. Internal use only. We don’t give out those files. Your words are safe with me. Erm. Us.”

“Good. Right. I work with the Doomsday Group. Can’t really talk about it much, but you’ve heard of them. Shady stuff, crime, theft, trade, religious artifacts, apocalyptic jazz, all that. Supernatural stuff, too, sometimes. Or claimed supernatural. You know I don’t believe in all that. Well. Didn’t. I didn’t believe in it. Now… uh, anyway. Sometimes we get those weird artifacts, right, apparently cursed, so I bring them to you, to, to check, or verify, or call bullshit. Or to lock them away, or whatever you do with them when you buy them off our lot. That’s how we met. Best part of this shit job, really, if I’m being honest. I didn’t ask to be– hm. Wish I could just– ngh. Confidential, right? Wish I could just be done with them. Run off. Can’t, though. But erm. Forget I said that, alright? Please.”

[pause] “You're rambling a bit, de- Crowley. Or should I, should I call you Anthony now?”

“Hell no. I mean – Crowley's fine. You've called me Crowley for years, haven't you? What, now you don't like it?”

“No, no, I do in fact quite – well, for propriety’s sake, the official documentation, I thought – nevermind. So, Crowley, while the background information on your…job is reasonable, might I politely remind you why you’re here? Please talk less about our personal relationship, or at least only insofar as it pertains to the case, and more about what happened to you since… since you put on that necklace.”

“Right. Righty-oh. S’ just, never been in this room before. The tape recorder, all that. I’ve only ever been here as a sort of… co-worker? Nah. You’re not my co-worker, you’re better than that. As a tradesman. So to be here as a client , it feels… surreal.”

“That is understandable. I trust you will muddle through, though.”

“Hey – remember the first thing I said when I came here? Today, I mean.”

[continue reading]

#good omens #ineffable husbands #azcrow #good omens fanfiction #my writing #inefficable #the serpent files

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see-arcane · 5 months

Text

The Vampyres--The Bones and Blood of the Book

Good news! I’m not dead and the book isn’t either! Just shambling slowly through the wasteland of the publication process. It’s been a bit since I last waved this bloody morsel around. So, consider this a progress report on the state of the novella, the prospective publishing options, and a few other questions that have been bouncing around in the inbox.

EDIT:

I have a website now! For some reason.

It's See Arcane Scribbles.

Smaller Edit:

Got a Spotify too for story soundtrack goodness:

COVERS

First things first—and the first part of a finished book is the cover. Here are some mockups I’ve been juggling, starting with the original placeholder. They’re far from perfect, but I’m proud of what I managed with a fairly skinny graphic art skill set.

FINISHING, FORMAT, AND FINANCE*

*(OR, THE HEADACHENING)

Copyright: Technically speaking, you have the copyright to your own writing once you put it to paper or screen. But this is somehow a different thing from a legally-binding registered copyright, which everyone declares is a must-have if you want your work to be protected with more than a non-textual trust-fall exercise, hoping nobody steals your work and runs.

That said, electronic registration with the copyright office is $65, or $45 to register one work by one author.

ISBN: I only recently learned the words behind this acronym. ‘International Standard Book Number.’ It’s the ID on a book that marks it as unique and helps commercial booksellers and libraries circulate it. Each iteration of a book—paperback, digital, hardcover, new editions, et cetera—has its own ISBN. When you’re publishing on your own, you purchase ISBNs through a service called Bowker.

One book/version’s ISBN costs $125.

There are better bargains the higher the number of books and/or versions you go, starting at a bulk of 10 books for $295. But as I only have the one (1) skinny novella on the table, that’s a no-go. Which begs the question of how many ISBNs are in store for this little monster. It depends on how many formats I go with.

eBook: The quickest and most cost-efficient option across the board for any self-publication service. Short, sweet, no printing pains of trim sizes or distribution costs or formatting, oh my. Nice.

Paperback VS Hardcover: …But I am now and forever a sucker for physical media. Even though it’s a teeny brochure of a thing, I want to hold a physical copy of The Vampyres in my hands! So bad! And every service I’ve looked through has stated the obvious: Hardcover costs more than paperback. My heart won’t break if I have to stick with paperback to spare everyone’s wallets—hardcovers are pricy in both directions!—but I am a little torn. Especially as physical size might affect the price too.

Here we have two of my favorite quick reads, an anthology of Poe stories and Clive Barker’s novella, The Hellbound Heart.

The Poe book is a clothbound hardcover. 6.5 x 4.5 inches, a bit over 120 pages.

The Hellbound Heart is roughly 8 x 5 inches (about standard for a novella), at 164 pages. But unlike Poe, it looks like Barker took some liberties with the spacing and font size.

Standard size dimensions cost less than unique cuts, which means that whether paperback or hardcover, I sadly have to say goodbye to the petite palm-sized edition I was hoping for. On the upside, good news to us crap-vision readers—the font’s going to get H U G E in order to make the book more than a pamphlet with delusions of grandeur.

Audiobook: The fact is, my voice is not up to the task of reciting anything with appropriate gravitas and I think we’ve all been spoiled by @re-dracula and assorted other podcasts’ skill in orating. I don’t have the cash to hire a professional and I’m not about to accept anyone’s freebie offers. I won’t pickpocket friends for their talent. If an audio version ever comes along for any story of mine it’ll be down the road when it proves worth the format’s effort and cost.

REVIEWS (and a Foreword!)

It was the best of times (People reading the thing! Commenting on the thing! Good good good—), it was the worst of times (The Mortifying Ordeal of People Reading and Commenting on the Thing). Time for what every advice site declares a book absolutely must have the moment it’s thrust into the wild.

Reviews, reviews, reviews.

I’ve already bitten several bullets and passed copies out to a handful of fellow scribblers to scrutinize, their reviews destined to be hung up like literary gold stars on their bookselling site of choice, my own included. Now comes my preliminary grovel to readers en masse to please drop a review, a comment, a blurb of any shape or size where you can once The Vampyres drops. I’ve already gotten some early comments that have consisted mostly of screaming. Screams also count as a review.

As an aside, there are two folks in particular who I reached out to who exist in the stratosphere of Coolest People in the Vampiric Lit scene. They promptly exploded me into disbelieving giblets when they told me, yes, they’d be happy to read my little story and offer up a review and a foreword for the book respectively.

I’m not sure what the decorum here is, but for safety (and surprise’s) sake, I’ll not name names. But they are names I’ve been happy to come across for the past two years while neck deep in the undead book club. I’m infinitely grateful to both of them and am waiting on pins, needles, stakes and kukri blades by my inbox so I can pin their words up inside the book itself.

FUTURE SCRIBBLING

To get one of the biggest questions out of the way, let’s talk about Barking Harker.

My very own object lesson on sunk cost fallacy.

I wrote my way through a goddamn cinderblock of text without even grazing the finish line of the first section of the story. A story made of so many convoluted triple-decker layers of subplots and side characters that it had the structural integrity of a monolithic Nature Valley granola bar, just waiting to fall apart under its own weight. Such is the hubris and curse of too-many-words-itis. The Vampyres remains a miraculous fluke, jotted down during an overdue break from BH’s slog. Not just because I tripped and fell into finishing the story, but because it’s comparatively compact! Brevity at last!

For those still craving the assorted gothic and ghoulish promises of the initial novel idea, don’t worry, those aren’t going anywhere. I’ve just crumbled the metaphorical bloodstained granola by my own hand and have done the sane thing of parsing out the various subplots to become the foundations of their own stories. Which they really should have been from the get-go. Insert 100+ clown emojis here.

On that note, I am turning into WIPs Georg over here. Good god.

I hesitate to throw myself all-in again and make promises of X Story that may leave me spinning my mental wheels or ballooning the plot out into a behemoth that can’t be steered back on course. Even so, here’s a peek at a few ideas I currently have on the brain.

So.

Not exactly lacking for stories. It’s just a matter of seeing which of them breaks ahead of the herd and squeezes out into the publication ether first.

LAST BIT

Blah, blah, requisite reminder that I have a Ko-Fi where you can donate a buck or commission my best attempt at art, blah. Any pennies are a help.

But I’m betting very few of you came around here for my doodles. Somehow, a good amount of people tripped into this pit with me because you enjoy the rambles and horrors I’ve written over the years. Maybe some of you will even buy my book once it’s out. And you, there, on the other side of the screen—you’re reading this right now. You made it all the way to the bottom of this pile of exposition just because you wanted to. So, thank you.

Thank you for reading this far. Thank you for reading before and reading what’s to come. Thank you for giving me the confidence to even consider shouldering my own work out into the wider world.

Thank you.

P.S. If you want to re-read the preview, go here!

#this one is a Big Boy #the vampyres #my writing #my art #horror #the vampyre #dracula #barking harker #Spotify

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mtmpossession · 4 months

Text

Someone New, Someone Better

Aaron Bradford, son of one of the wealthiest business owners in Australia, was the quintessential party boy. He was known for his excessive spending, luxurious travels, and extravagant dinners at the most expensive restaurants. He also had a penchant for collecting women, never shy about flaunting his good looks and charm. As Aaron traveled the world, he could often be seen behind the wheel of the latest car models or riding on expensive Vespas. His unique style and taste for the finer things in life made him stand out wherever he went.

Unfortunately, his father, Robert Bradford, was growing tired of Aaron's antics and lack of motivation to work for the family business. In a fit of exasperation, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He summoned his new intern, David Caballero, and gave him a simple yet important task: find Aaron and report back on his whereabouts.

David, eager to impress his new boss and hopefully move up the ranks, accepted the challenge with determination. He began his search for Aaron, tracking him down to a beach in Botany Bay. There, he found Aaron lounging on a beach towel, surrounded by a bevy of beautiful women. Aaron wore red shorts that accentuated his chiseled and muscular body, a sight that left David feeling both envious and a bit resentful.

As he watched Aaron lazily laugh with his entourage, David couldn't help but wonder why someone with such a charmed life would waste it away partying all the time. It was then that he felt a tug on his shirt. Startled, he turned around to find a mysterious old man standing behind him. The man wore a fedora and sunglasses, giving him an air of secrecy and intrigue.

"You must be David," the old man said in a gravelly voice. "I've been expecting you." He held out his hand, revealing a small wooden amulet in the shape of a boomerang. "Take this. It will help you achieve everything you desire."

David hesitantly took the amulet, his curiosity getting the better of him. "What do you mean, everything I desire?" he asked, feeling a strange energy emanating from the amulet.

"Oh, I think you know what I mean," the old man replied with a knowing smile. "But if you insist, let's just say that it's within your grasp now. Go on, use it. See what happens."

Before David could say anything else, the old man disappeared into the crowd. He stood there for a moment, the amulet in his hand, feeling both excited and apprehensive. He knew he should report back to Robert Bradford, but something about the amulet made him curious.

David closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He imagined himself in Aaron's shoes, living the life he always wanted but never thought he could have. The thought was intoxicating, and before he knew it, he found himself reaching out to touch the amulet. As soon as his fingers made contact with the wood, the world around him shifted.

When he opened his eyes, he saw the same beach in Botany Bay, but now he was the one lying on the beach towel, surrounded by beautiful women. He felt a surge of energy course through his veins as he realized that he was now in Aaron's body. His muscles ached with pleasure, and he could feel the heat of the sun on his skin. But more than that, he could sense the power that came with being Aaron Bradford.

David sat up, taking in the view of the ocean and the women surrounding him. He felt like he could do anything he wanted. He stood up, flexing his muscles, and threw his head back, letting out a roar of laughter. The women around him giggled and blushed, their eyes fixed on his chiseled chest and toned arms. He felt invincible.

He walked back to the beach house, a luxurious mansion that had been in the Bradford family for generations. The sand was warm and soft beneath his feet as he made his way inside. The house was filled with expensive art and antique furniture, a testament to the family's wealth and influence. He couldn't help but feel a sense of ownership as he walked through the halls, admiring the priceless works of art and the breathtaking views of the ocean from every room.

David made his way to Aaron's private quarters, his heart racing with anticipation. The bed was huge, with plush pillows and soft, satin sheets. On the nightstand was a crystal decanter filled with expensive scotch and a bowl of expensive, exotic cigars. He sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling a familiar ache growing in his groin. He reached down, undid his shorts, and freed his erection.

As he began to stroke himself, he couldn't help but feel a sense of power and control. It wasn't just about masturbating; it was about asserting his dominance over Aaron's body. He thought about all the things he could do now, all the women he could have, all the money and influence he could wield. The more he thought about it, the harder he got.

He imagined himself walking into a high-stakes business meeting, wearing one of Aaron's tailored suits, commanding the room with his presence. He could hear the respect and awe in everyone's voices as they addressed him as Mr. Aaron Bradford. He pictured himself making deals, forging alliances, and expanding the family's empire.

As he continued to stroke himself, he felt the familiar tightening in his balls and knew that he was about to cum. He groaned, his hips bucking as he shot thick ropes of semen across Aaron's abs. The hot liquid splattered against the defined muscles, leaving a sticky trail.He lay back on the bed, panting heavily, feeling a wave of relief wash over him. He looked down at his hand, still wrapped around his softening cock, and smiled. He couldn't believe he had just cum in Aaron's body. It was a feeling unlike anything he'd ever experienced before.

He stood up and walked over to the bathroom, opening the shower door. The warm water cascaded down his chest, washing away the remnants of his orgasm. He stepped into the shower, enjoying the feel of the water on his skin.

As he lathered up with Aaron's luxurious soap, he couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. He had successfully taken over Aaron's body, and now he was going to live the rest of the day as him. He grinned to himself, wondering what sort of mischief he could get into next.

After rinsing off, he reached for a towel and dried off. He then put on Aaron's favourite Grey joggers, feeling the soft fabric hug his legs. He admired himself in the mirror.

With a newfound confidence, he decided to take a selfie. He posed in front of the mirror, striking Aaron's signature smoldering look. He snapped the photo, and to his surprise, it actually looked pretty good. He couldn't believe he was able to pull off Aaron's charisma even like this.

5 months later:

David left his old life behind him and fully embraced his new identity. He threw himself into his work at the company, making sure to keep Robert happy and impressed. He made important connections, closed lucrative deals, and expanded the family's empire. It was as though he had been born to do this.

He found himself falling into the rhythm of Aaron's life, adapting to the luxurious lifestyle with ease. He began to understand the weight of responsibility that came with being the next in line of such a powerful family. He made sure to uphold Aaron's reputation, both in business and in the high society circles .

As time passed, David felt more and more at home in Aaron's body. He even began to think of himself as Aaron, as if he had always been this person. The memories of his old life seemed distant and hazy, like a dream from another lifetime. He had truly become someone new, someone better.

#male transformation #gay possession #male body swap #male possession #male body theft #body swap #male tf #male takeover #body switch #bodyswapper #body possession #jock #possession

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glazesunflower · 8 months

Note

may i ask for some dating headcannons with focalors the hydro archon? :3

Dating Furina/Focalors Headcanons

Characters: Furina/Focalors x GN!Reader.

Warnings: None that apply!

Notes: I was waiting to play the first Fontaine Archon Quest to get a grasp of her character before writing this. I have to say, I absolutely love this gremlin and bratty Archon. I hope you have as much fun reading this as I had writing it. (The last ones are my favorite <3)

Furina is flamboyant, imprudent and she lives for the thrill of the drama and the validation of those around her, so you’ll have to be very understanding and patient with her and the fair amount of mishaps that she will surely cause. So be prepared!

She doesn’t really voice it, she’s too proud for that, but she absolutely loves the way you’ve become her anchor, helping to balance out her impulsive nature with your calm and understanding demeanor. When she's on the brink of making a hasty decision, you're there to gently guide her, reminding her to consider all perspectives and consequences before acting. And she takes your advice to heart, be proud of that!

She struggles internally a lot with the pressure of her public image. Of course, she doesn’t say this directly to you, but you can see how it affects her, and so you write for her heartfelt letters whenever she's facing a tough situation. She doesn’t really make much of a fuss about them, but internally your words of encouragement and reminders of her strengths become her source of comfort, and she rereads them many more times than she’s willing to admit. She even has a special box where she keeps them all. But don’t ask her about it!

But it’s not all sappy stuff, your relationship with her is very adventurous and fun! Furina absolutely loves a good thrill and an outstanding performance in everything she does, so you’re of course expected to tag along in all of her endeavors. Whether it's exploring a new case that’s just taken place, trying out quirky local restaurants, or taking impromptu road trips through Fontaine, you both find joy in the thrill of the new things you try together!

Furina absolutely thrives on positive attention and affirmation. She is always very touched by your heartfelt compliments and words of encouragement (she probably won’t say it, mind you, but she would engrave your words in her mind to always come back to them). Express your admiration for her skills, charisma, and unique qualities and Furina will glow, feeling appreciated and loved. Keep them coming, she can’t get enough!

After some time of her being with you, Furina will slowly (and I mean, very slowly) feel comfortable enough with letting her guard down around you. And that is no easy feat! She’s constantly thinking that she will be judged by whatever she says wrong, so you should feel immensely lucky that she’s willing to trust you with her innermost turmoils! (Her words.) In time, you create a safe space where she can express her insecurities without fear of judgment, because you’re kind like that and you love her. You encourage Furina to have a ton of heartfelt conversations, and slowly you help her understand that she doesn't have to be perfect to be loved. It’s still a work in progress, but she’ll get there.

Furina is a sucker for gifts. After all, what better way for others to express their admiration for her, right? But the ones she loves the most are yours, of course. The gifts and tokens of your affection hold special meanings, since you picked them out knowing she’d like them. Like a charm to remind her of her resilience or a piece of art that reflects her flamboyant personality and you thought, “Oh, this reminds me of her!”. Keep doing that. She can’t get enough of it.

Knowing how much she loves and treasures positive attention, you organize surprise events or gatherings to celebrate Furina’s accomplishments, no matter how small they are. She doesn’t make a big deal out of it (She deserves all the praise and attention, after all!), but you see the brightest smile dancing on her lips the whole day, and that’s how you see how much she values these moments. These thoughtful gestures show Furina that you genuinely appreciate her efforts and want to support her in all aspects of her life. She will try even harder this time, if only for you to praise her more.

Your relationship with her is also full of laughter. You tease each other constantly, at all times, sharing inside jokes, and find humor in the quirks of everyday life together. Furina knows you have an ability to make her smile even in challenging times and she silently appreciates you so much for her. Still, you tease her too much. And she is the embodiment of the divine, she can’t have you teasing her in public!

With the passing of the time by your side (and I mean, at a very slow pace!), Furina starts to overcome her need for constant validation from others. She slowly becomes more confident in her abilities in the court and outside of it, and she learns to embrace her imperfections (her impulsivity, childlike temper, the constant bravado and drama, the list goes on!), understanding that you love her for who she truly is. Really, how could you not? She’s impressive and heavenly! It’s only natural you’re head over heels and completely in love with her! (She’s working on her arrogance, too).

Furina loves the spotlight more than anything else in the world (well, she only likes you more, and that’s saying something!), so sometimes you plan extravagant date nights that cater to her love for the spotlight. Whether it's a private outdoor performance under the stars or a playful evening of reenacting dramatic scenes from her favorite plays, you keep the excitement alive for her. And she thrives in every minute of it.

When it comes to physical touch, Furina is by far not used to it at the very beginning, so she’s fairly unsure when it comes to it. But she’s quick to realize that your gentle pats on her back, walking around with linked arms, or even a reassuring touch on her shoulder during moments of stress in the courtroom make her feel so much better instantly! Is this some kind of heavenly magic?

Furina quickly starts to associate your touch with positive emotions. Holding hands with you during a thrilling adventure or wrapping an arm around your waist while watching a dramatic play becomes something she really, really likes doing.

And when you introduce cuddling to her, Furina finds a whole new world to explore and enjoy. Whether it's lounging on your couch or stargazing, Furina wants to be in your arms at all times, if she has any say in the matter! Let her nuzzle into your neck and stay there for a while, she feels the safest she’s ever felt.

Furina enjoys your touch very much. She does not enjoy, however, how you playfully tease her with light touches, tickles, and gentle bumps! She’s the embodiment of justice, you can’t just have her wiggling and choking on laughter beneath you, how unsightly! (She absolutely loves it).

Furina has associated your touch with comfort and safety, so don’t be surprised when she comes to you after an especially hard day. Yes, she messed up in the courtroom today, but you’ll let her rest against you, won’t you? Your hugs and embraces become her safe haven. Sometimes she will open up and admit what happened that day. Others, she simply wants to enjoy your arms holding her tight in silence. In either case, she deeply appreciates you being there for her. She won’t voice it, of course, but you’ll know in the way she presses her forehead closer to you and the angle of your neck.

She also finds that physical touch is very useful! She starts using her own touch on you as a way to express her emotions. A soft kiss on your cheek in the morning, a warm hug after a long day, or even a surprise tackle or an affectionate nudge as you tease each other becomes her way of saying "I care about you" without needing dramatic and flamboyant words. How practical! She will keep showering you with her divine affection for many more years to come!

Having Furina as a significant other is no easy feat, it takes a lot of courage, determination, and most of all, a big amount of patience and understanding. Still, she is the most vibrant and colorful part of your life, so you wouldn’t have it any other way. With her, you become her partner in both the thrilling moments and the challenges of her life. Your love and support help her navigate her insecurities and embrace her true self, helping to nurture a romance that's passionate and tender and all the beautiful things in between.

If you enjoyed this, please consider liking or reblogging it <3!

You can check more of my writing on (this link!). Thank you!

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin x you #focalors #furina #furina x reader #focalors x reader #hydro archon #fontaine

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majimasleftasscheek · 6 months

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Hihi! Do you have any minedai headcanons? (Idk how to write aAAAAA)

hmmm I had to give this a good think cuz I normally don't obsess about them too much (compared to a certain other pair lmao) but here's what I got 👀

*note! gonna be a mix of silly and more realistic ideas. my interpretation of minedai is pretty unserious

Daigo

genuinely enjoys mine's company, as uptight and neurotic it may be. because daigo was given the chairman position, a lot of people don't respect him other than mine so it's nice to hang out with someone who, despite being overly respectful, is kind to him. he feels a lot at ease with mine, able to be more himself n all that. it's not much but it means a lot to daigo

that said, he totally goes out in his casual clothes when able and is still very goth coded. Mine makes intense but silent notes about every little thing in those outfits and thinks it's very cute when there's little details like tiny skulls n things

likes to do go out spontaneously when he can and takes mine along. mine thinks something like that is way too dangerous for a chairman to be doing but daigo confides that he's not worried if mine is with him (with an ulterior motive to loosen the giant stick up mine's ass to get him to live a little). cue mine choking on his heart

I like the idea of daigo being oblivious to mine's obsessive behavior to an extent. he becomes so used to mine's quirks that he writes it off as oh he's just like that lol. but he's not wholly dumb to it. he'll be lowkey flirty and that's when mine's questions daigo's actions like "why is daigo smiling at me? is he sick? I should call an ambulance..."

genuinely has zero idea what type of things mine likes. tho daigo grew up in a bougie type of life and mine currently lives it, he can assume things like fine arts and fancy shit tho personally he removed himself from that sort of thing as he got older (to avoid being anything even close to his dad lol). comparatively, daigo lives more modestly so gift giving is up to guessing but mine accepts literally anything from him and frankly refuses to give him hints as not to place expectations accidentally

likes to spar with mine and was surprised to see that daigo was decently capable of protecting himself and finds his informal style of fighting very charming. he's seen daigo fight before, but it's a bit of a different intensity when it's just to two of them trying their hardest to impress

has a network of friends/allies like kiryu, kashiwagi, etc that mine keeps a closer than needed eye on. daigo does get frustrated that he has to explain he trusts these people wholly and it's often a point of contention between them

very much likes slow days when they can just chill with each other, however that may be. cuddling is prime even if mine gets mad hot and sweaty so daigo keeps a full body towel handy. it's not unusual for daigo to go out of his way to prod mine for reactions as it's the highlight of his day

Mine

definitely has a shrine dedicated to daigo. for funnies: has weird shit like used napkins, articles of hair, etc just funky stuff someone wildin' would keep. realistically I think he'd be a lil more modest - having photos and baubles, typical normie shrine shit

absolutely has a folder on his phone/computer of "selfies" with him and daigo. most of them are just regular photos you'd find in like newspapers, half of them are blurry as hell, and there's a few he's taken himself but poorly done because he did it under a table or something. and of course there's many photos of just daigo, doing all assortment of things from working hard to hardly working

he's caught by daigo occasionally but mine attributes his behavior to "trying to find better phone signal" as he aims it coincidentally at daigo's spikey heeled boots. even when they're together together, he still does this on the sly

insists on paying for everything whenever they're out but with enough convincing, he'll back down and internally melts when daigo tells him he's just happy to have his company. has a habit tho of "making up" for what he didn't pay for such as ordering lunches n things before daigo can refuse

obvs very violently protective of daigo tho avoids being so in front of him as much as possible. it's very common for someone who's spoken ill of daigo to get their ass beat or thrown into the Tokyo Bay some days later. has a network of people dedicated solely to routing out daigo haters

is often confided to by daigo about the stresses of running the clan and it takes a lot out of mine for him to not be cold and calculating with an answer. has had to learn sometimes people just want someone to listen

at first, mine thought such confiding was some limp dick shit but over time realized that daigo never wanted anything out of such confessions which is unexpected. to have someone be so trusting and vulnerable with him is incredibly valuable

would have "sounds of daigo talking about stuff" recorded and sleeps to it every night. be assured clips of daigo sneezing are in there too

if he was in dead souls, he would be going turbo murder throughout the city just to dent the population of zombies that could even potentially get a whiff of daigo's darkness allure™ cologne. if infected, I imagine he'd have the will to remain loyal cuz the power of simp compels him

#gonna lose my mind @ tumblr formatting why do you fight me like I owe you money #anyway I hope you like! I think they're very cute and I like mine being a big ass weirdo #also daigo fun to draw in his lil outfits #minedai #yoshitaka mine #dojima daigo #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #my art #my hcs

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ataraxiaspainting · 5 months

Text

Shameless.

Yan Chrollo x GN Reader.

Synopsis: Chrollo is many things; annoying, chatty, selfish, petty. Especially petty.

Warnings: Yandere themes and kidnapping.

Word Count: 700.

“Petty, much?”

The damn devil doesn’t even turn to look at you. Instead, he turns to the next chapter of his book, a book large enough to easily force you or any other ordinary person into a yearlong coma if it hits your head. His humming physically hurts your ears and almost makes their drums burst, you are sure of it. You would much rather listen to his trill sonata from a gramophone and disc that is at least five times your age.

You cannot find the stuffed animal you normally sleep with. You have been looking all day while this clone of the antichrist just sits and reads in whatever the hell that language on the dusty cover is. You wouldn’t be surprised if he had made it himself, it’s only further proof that he is just an old man on the inside. Or at least half; the other part may as well be a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Maybe less than half, now that you think about it. That plush was a gift from Chrollo to you, after all, a symbol of how adorable you are or something else in that vein that made his face all the more punchable. The bunny made for a good pillow and could be used as a sort of wall whenever the epitome of hell lays on the bed beside you, trying to converse or cuddle with you.

It certainly yielded better results than biting, kicking, and hitting him at least. Your knuckles and palms still sometimes hurt. Ow. His flesh is made of iron, you know it. Maybe you should dare him to get his DNA tested to ensure that he is indeed human before speaking with you again.

You could fake an allergic reaction to automatons perhaps. Even though you were never a drama kid in school you think you can still pull it off.

You can craft yourself an Emmy using what remains of your old art supplies, though that would require having Chrollo cut the papers and cardboard for you. You bet that if he is a robot, he will eventually use up all his battery by chatting away and then shutting down.

“What are you, a kindergartener?” You move closer to his unholy throne, stomping with each step forward. “Stop acting like you are eight, you swindler, and give it back.”

It would be easier that way if he went unconscious because of his powerless charge.

If you are feeling particularly sadistic you could use electric shocks on his unconscious tin can of a body until it explodes. It would be a great thing, the sound. Like fireworks, if you avoid getting stabbed by tiny slabs of hot metal.

“Kindergarteners are ages five to six.” You could picture dreaming of it now if you can go to sleep tonight. “Eight-year-olds are typically in the grades second and third.”

“So you do admit to stealing it, then. This trial has now concluded, you have been sentenced to life without parole.”

You can hear a slight chuckle that makes you want to fall down the stairs while playing jump rope. Anything to make sure you never hear it again. “You get points for effort, darling. That wasn’t a confession, I was just correcting your utterly adorable libel.”

“Don’t talk like that to your judge, you larcenist.”

“I see you have been reading the books I have given you.”

You grumble a curse under your breath as you walk a bit closer. “It is amazing what the human mind can remember from a dictionary when there is nothing better to do. I think if I ever see my literary teacher again she’d be impressed. I’d pass with flying colors if I ever had to retake her class.”

At the sight of your laid-out hand, a slight frown appears on Chrollo’s face. “Being polite never hurt anyone, you know.”

You scoff and cross your arms, not looking at him anymore. “It hurts me every time I say anything to you instead of trying to find out how to give you enough papercuts to make you internally bleed.”

Underneath the table, you can see the rabbit plush, and crouch down to grab it.

“Take this as an act of precaution then; don’t test my limits, dear.” As soon as you look into his eyes, hugging the stuffed animal, you look away as you see what lies beneath the surface once more.

Nothing.

#yandere chrollo #yandere chrollo x reader #yandere hxh #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere chrollo lucilfer #yandere #chrollo x reader #chrollo lucilfer #hxh chrollo #phantom troupe #chrollo hunter x hunter #yandere x reader #yandere hxh x reader #hxh #ideas #author aya

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pearwaldorf · 2 months

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I have been trying to write this on and off for a while. I figure the second anniversary of the show is as fine an occasion as any to shove it out into the world. It is not everything I want to say about it, but I think the important bits are there.

It is a human impulse to be seen. To be told, through art, you are not alone. It is universal, but of special importance to people who are not well-represented in media (i.e. everybody who isn’t cis, white, able-bodied, skinny, and conventionally attractive).

This show speaks to me as a queer person who figured things out later than most of my peers. (Not quite as late as Ed and Stede but not terribly far off either.) It’s not super common to see queer media address this, and I didn’t realize how much I needed that reassurance until I got it. That it’s okay to find these things any time in your life. To be told “A queer is never late, they’re always fashionably on-time.”

They’re not my first canon queer ship. But they are the first ones where I knew it was true from the get-go. Multiple people assured me this was the case. And yet, I still didn’t believe it until I saw it with my own two eyes. This experience is not unusual for fans around my age.

After I finished up season one, I laid in bed and cried. It’s not something I thought would affect me so much, but it feels like a weight I’d carried so long I didn’t realize it wasn’t supposed to be part of me is gone.

One of the reasons people unfamiliar with the fandom seem to think it’s absolutely crazy (which some of it is, to be fair, but every fandom has that) is the way fans of the show get extremely super intense about it. It took me a few weeks to realize this is a trauma response. I’m not even sure “trauma” is the right word. It doesn’t interfere with my day to day function, but it lasted for years. Decades. So it was definitely something that fucked me up. And in the way you can only start to see something as you’re moving past it, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to get my head around this. (I don’t know if I have anything to say about it yet. Maybe I need more time to sit with it.)

I know this sounds contrary, but I’m really glad David Jenkins does not come from fandom. Sometimes it’s good to know where a line is, and others it’s better to not know there’s a line at all. And this is, sad to say, remarkable to somebody who has had to deal with this for so long. With so many writers and showrunners aware of the line, and getting right up next to it, but never crossing it.

Imagine doing a show with a queer romance and not understanding why this was received with such emotion and fervor, because it’s just two people in love right? What blissful ignorance that this needed to be explained to him! And then he listened to people’s experiences with queerbaiting, and went “Oh my god you thought I was going to do WHAT?” And then you go “Huh. That is really fucked up.”

The problem with being told something enough, even though you know it’s wrong, is you start to believe it regardless. All the excuses and hedging. It’s so very difficult to do they tell us, when we hear from queer creators how they had fight tooth and nail to make it as gay as it already was.

And then comes Jenks, just yeeting it out there: majority queer and (not and/or. and) POC cast, an openly non-binary person playing an openly non-binary character. The ability to not have to make one queer (and/or) POC character speak for everybody, so you can inject a tiny bit of nuance into the conversation. The way you can tell more kinds of stories, like the one where the smol angry internalized homophobe comes into his own with the support of a queer community, even though he was a giant fucking asshole to them before.

So many people were like “You can just DO that? It’s really that easy?” And wasn’t that a fucking Situation, to have that curtain pulled aside. What next? Majority POC casts with stories about POC written by POC? Absolute madness. (Please please watch The Brothers Sun on Netflix. It’s so fucking good.)

And people will scoff and say “Of course a cishet(?) white man would be able to get this pushed through.” But do they usually? The thing I don’t think people understand about allies is they use their privilege to wedge the door open. You still have to do the work to get through, but at least you have a place to start. And it really fucking matters.

The press keeps trying to tell me The Completely Made-Up Adventures of Dick Turpin is the OFMD substitute we need while we float in the gravy basket. I’m sure it’s a perfectly fine show, but I don’t know who has watched OFMD and decided the itch we needed scratched was anachronistic historical comedy.

I want stories written by people that reflect their lived experiences, with actors and crew committed to bringing that to life. And I would like streamers and studios to commit to giving them a chance, and marketing them properly so people know they exist.

You can keep people satisficed with scraps for only so long. At some point, somebody is going to give them a whole seven course dinner and people will wonder why they’ve been putting up with starving this entire time.

#our flag means death #ofmd #our flag turns 2 #pear watches ofmd #pear text

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jamisonwritestf2trash · 2 months

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HEAVY TF2 TUMMY ‼️‼️‼️

Hello! Hi! I am very excited to receive this ask! I'm no artist, but I hope you'll accept this instead of art :)

————————————————————

Medic was a strange man, Heavy thought to himself. He was the only man that would make him stand in front of a mirror, showing exactly where he’d be placing each cut in his next surgery. He never understood why Medic felt the need to do this. Maybe he just wanted to make sure Heavy understood, maybe it was just fun for him. But one thing that Heavy understood is that he had started to feel…uncomfortable in moments like these. His chest was exposed, but more importantly, to him, his stomach was. He had never been one to be self conscious, at least, he couldn’t remember it ever being a problem. But something in his brain had changed, something gave him a sinking feeling whenever his stomach had to be exposed, he wished he knew what had changed, how to get rid of this feeling, this ever growing internal anxiety building inside of him, even the feelings of discomfort that filled him as he stood there. What was there to be scared of, really? He couldn’t answer that. He just knew he wasn’t happy with the sight in front of him. It was-

“Heavy? Are you even listening to me?” Medic’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts quickly. He saw the doctor's disappointed gaze fall on him. He hated disappointing Medic, he did love him after all, and he truly cared that he was excited and ready to ramble off to him, but lately, his thoughts got the better of him, taking his attention away, and he felt more than a little bad about his neglect of the conversation,

“Sorry, Doktor.” He says quickly, his tone genuine. Medic’s gaze shifts from one of disappointment to one of momentary confusion,

“I’ve noticed your mind has been wandering when I try to talk about these surgeries. Have I come to bore you?” His voice remains neutral, but a slight shift in his gaze expresses worry.

“No, no, Heavy could never be bored of Doktor.” Heavy says wanting to rid Medic of the thought, the possibility of that ever happening as soon as possible. Medic only hums, trying to ponder the issue. Wondering what could have caused this sudden change, then it clicks, his eyes widened with realization,

“Ah, I see…” he starts, “And this wouldn’t have anything to do with the way you can’t seem to look at yourself in the mirror as of late?” At first, Medic had assumed that it was a sudden bout of nerves, sure, his surgeries were painless, but no doubt his way of expressing love through them could lead to a few tense moments while he showed Heavy in great detail how he planned to cut him up this time. Medic may not have been a stupid man, but he was a dense one, but the second everything clicked, he could plan out his next moves accordingly.

Heavy, for his part, felt seen through. There was something about the man in front of him, the man he fell in love with, that terrified him. It wasn’t the blood, guts, or general gore, but the fact that he could read him so well. He felt Medic’s presence shift from on his right side to his back, Medic’s head resting on his shoulder.

“Tell me what is bothering you.” He said softly, in a gentler tone, a tone he rarely used, reserved for the soft moments the two shared. “Tell me, why will you not look?” He gestures at the mirror, “You are so beautiful after all,” he hums, “I just wish for you to see what I can see.” Heavy felt himself tense. He wanted to believe him. He truly did, but some mental mind block, some part of him that he came to despise told him it was all too good to be true. Heavy, however, smiled, suppressing a sigh,

"Thank you, but Doktor does not have to say nice things just to make Heavy feel better." Medic blinked, laughing softly.

"Oh come now Heavy, I thought you would know by now I'm not one to lie." He pauses, "Especially to those I love." He smiles, "Now! You did not tell me what is bothering you! What seems to be causing you the most trouble, hm?" He says cheerfully, moving slightly away from him. Heavy doesn't know what to say, he could tell the truth, but it was like his mind wouldn't allow his mouth to move.

"I see, too nervous to speak about this?" Medic asks, "I am sure we can figure it out with out any words. I am good at reading people, no?" He smiles as he gets closer to Heavy. "Is it your arms?" He asks watching for a response, an indicator, anything. He continues. Prompting for any part of his torso, until... "Oh, do not tell me it is your stomach you are worried about." He says softly. He sees Heavy's eyes flick away from the slight in the mirror, feels him tense slightly, he's got him. "Meine Liebe..." he says, his words softer than ever, he leans close to Heavy, "This," he starts, putting his hands on his stomach softly "is beautiful." He continues, touching it softly. "You are beautiful." He kisses his cheek. "I do love you, truly," he smiles softly, "all of you." He continues as he rubs his stomach softly. Heavy feels his body relax, and his mind be put at ease. He turns slightly to Medic, smiling, he's happy, so, so happy.

"Thank you, Doktor." He says, reaching a hand to hold Medic's. "Thank you." Medic smiles, making his way in front of Heavy.

"I love you, Misha." He says as he smiles,

"I love you too, Ludwig." Heavy replies, kissing him softly. And in that moment, things were perfect, and he was loved, and he felt beautiful.

————————————————————

I'm glad I finally pushed myself to write this because I definitely had fun doing it. I hope you liked it! Happy birthday by the way, I hope this is a good present :D

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #tf2 heavy #heavymedic #red octoberfest

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