#but that's just my opinion colored by my experiences and by who and what i've seen over the past 4 years or so | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jewelleria · 28 days

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I don’t usually talk about politics on here, if ever. But it’s been almost six months since the conflict in the Middle East flared up again, and I’m finally ready to start. Here are some of my thoughts.

I say ‘flared up’ because this has happened before and it’ll happen again. Because, even though what's currently going on is absolutely unprecedented, those of us who live in this part of the world are used to it. Let that sink in: we are used to this. And we shouldn’t have to be.

But I use that term for another reason: I don't want to accidentally call it the wrong thing lest I come under fire for being a genocidal maniac or a terrorist or a propaganda machine, etc., etc.—so let’s just call it ‘the war’ or ‘the conflict.’ Because that’s what it is. Doesn’t matter which side you’re on, who you love, or who you hate.

This post will, in all likelihood, sit in my drafts forever. If it does get posted, it certainly won’t be on my main, because I'm scared of being harassed (spoiler: she posted it on her main). I hate admitting that, but honestly? I’m fucking terrified.

I also feel like in order for anything I say on here (i.e. the hellscape of the internet) to be taken seriously, I have to somehow prove that a) I’m “educated” enough to talk about the conflict, and b) that my opinion lines up with what has been deemed the correct one. So, tedious and unnecessary though it is, I will tell you about my experience, because I have a feeling most of the people reading this post are not nearly as close to what’s happening as I am.

How do I explain where I live without actually explaining where I live? How do I say “I live in the Red Zone of international conflicts” without saying what I actually think? How do I convey the fear that grips me when I try to decide between saying “I live in Palestine” and “I live in Israel”? I don't really know. But I do know that names are important. I also know that, due to the various clickbaity monikers ascribed to the conflict, it would probably just be easier to point to a map.

I haven't always lived in the Middle East. I've lived in various places along America’s east coast, and traveled all over the world. But in short, I now live somewhere inside the crudely-drawn purple circle.

If you know anything about these borders you probably blanched a bit in sympathy, or maybe condolence. But in truth, it’s a shockingly normal existence. I don't feel like I've lived through the shifting of international relations or a war or anything. I just kind of feel like I did when COVID hit, that dull sameness as I wondered if this would be the only world-altering event to shape my life, or if there would be more.

I've been told that, in order for my brain to process all the horrific details of the past six months, there needs to be some element of cognitive dissonance—that falling into a sort of dissociative mindset is the only way to not go insane under the weight of it all. I think in some ways that’s true. I have been terrifyingly close to bus stop shootings when my commute wasn’t over; I have felt my apartment building shake with the reverberations of a missile strike; I have spent hours in underground shelters waiting for air raid sirens to stop.

But. I have also gone grocery shopping, and skipped class, and stayed up too late watching TV, and fed the cats on the street corner, and cried over a boy, and got myself AirPods just because, and taken out the trash, and done laundry on a delicate cycle, and bought overpriced lattes one too many days a week. I have looked at pretty things and taken out my phone because, despite it all, I still think that life is too short not to freeze the small moments.

So I'd say, all things considered, I live an incredibly privileged life—compared, of course, to those suffering in Gaza—one filled with sunsets and over-sweetened knafeh and every different color of sand. One that allows me to throw myself into a fandom-induced hyperfixation (or, alternatively, escape method) as I sit on the couch and crack open my laptop to write the next chapter of the fic I'm working on.

But there are bits of not-normalness that wheedle their way through the cracks. I pretend these moments are avoidable, even if they’re not.

They look like this: reading the news and seeing another idiotic, careless choice on Netanyahu’s part and groaning into my morning coffee. Watching Palestinian and Jewish children’s needless suffering posted on Instagram reels and feeling helpless. Opening my Tumblr DMs to find a message telling me to exterminate myself for reblogging a post that only seems like it’s about the war if you squint and tilt your head sideways.

These moments look like all the tiny ways I am reminded that I'm living in a post-October seventh world, where hearing a car backfire makes me jump out of my skin and the sound of a suitcase on pavement makes me look up at the sky and search for the war planes. They look like the heavy grief that is, and also isn’t, mine.

Here's the thing, though. I know you’re wondering when the ball will drop and my true opinion will be revealed. I know you’re waiting for me to reveal what demographic I'm a part of so that you, dear reader, can neatly slap a label on my head and sort me into some oversimplified category that lets you continue to think you understand this war.

No one wants to sit and ruminate on the difficult questions, the ones that make you wonder if maybe you’ve been tinkered with by the propaganda machine, if you might need to go back on what you’ve said or change your mind. We all strive for our perception of complicated issues to be a comfortable one.

But I know that no matter what I do, there will always be assumptions. So, while I shudder to reveal this information online, I think that maybe my most significant contribution to this meta-discussion spanning every facet of the internet is this:

I am a Jew.

Or, alternatively, I am: Jewish, יהודית, يَهُودِيٌّ, etc. Point is, I come from Jews. And, like any given person, I am a product of generation after generation of love.

I'm not going to take time to explain my heritage to you, or to prove that before all the expulsions and pogroms, there was an origin point. If you don’t believe that, perhaps it’s less of a factual problem and more of an ‘I don’t give weight to the beliefs of indigenous people’ problem. But, in case you want to spend time uselessly refuting this tiny point in a larger argument, you can inspect the photos below (it’s just a small chunk of my DNA test results). Alternatively, you can remember that interrogating someone in an attempt to make their indigeneity match your arbitrary criteria is generally not seen as good manners.

Now, let’s go back to thathateful message (read: poorly disguised death threat) I received in my Tumblr DMs. I think it was like two or three weeks ago. I had recently gained a new follower whose blog’s primary focus was the fandom I contribute to, so I followed them back. I saw in my notes that they were going through my posts and liking them—as one does when gaining a new mutual. Yippee!

Then they sent me this:

I tried to explain that hate speech is not a way to go about participating in political discourse, but the person had already blocked me immediately after sending that message. Then, assured by the fact that I surely would never see them complaining about me on their blog (because, as I said, they blocked me), they posted a shouting rant accusing me of sympathizing with colonizing settlers and declaring me a “racist Zionist fuck.” Oh, the wonders of incognito tabs.

Where this person drew these conclusions after reading my (reblogged) post about antisemitism…. I'm not actually sure. But I greatly sympathize with them, and hope that they weren’t too personally offended by my desire to not die.

For a while I contemplated this experience in my righteous anger, and tried to figure out a way to message this person. I wanted to explain that a) seeing a post about being Jewish and choosing to harass the creator about Israel is literally the definition of antisemitism and b) that sending a hateful DM and refusing to be held accountable is just childish and immature. But I gave up soon after—because, honestly, I knew it wasn’t worth my effort or energy. And I knew that I wouldn't be able to change their mind.

But I still remember staring at that rather unfortunate meme, accompanied by an all-caps message demanding for me to Free Palestine, and thinking: the post didn’t even have any buzzwords. I remember the swoop of dread and guilt and fear. I remember wondering why this kind of antisemitism felt worse, in that moment, than the kind that leaves bodies in its wake.

I remember thinking, I don’t have the power to free anyone.

I remember thinking, I’m so fucking tired.

And before you tell me that this conflict isn’t about religion—let me ask you some questions. Why is it that Israel is even called Israel? (Here’s why.) Why do Jews even want it? (Here’s why.) But also, if you actually read the charters of Islamist terrorist organizations like ISIS, Hamas, and Hezbollah (among others), they equate the modern state of Israel with the Jewish people, and they use the two entities interchangeably. So of course this conflict is religious. It’s never been anything but that.

But I do wonder, when faced with those who deny this fact: how do I prove, through an endless slew of what-about-isms and victim blaming, that I too am hurting? How do I show that empathy is dialectical, that I can care deeply for Palestinians and Gazans while also grieving my own people?

There's this thing that humans do, when we’re frustrated about politics and need to howl our opinions about it into the void until we feel better. We find like-minded souls, usually our friends and neighbors, and fret about the state of the world to each other until we’ve gone around in a satisfactory amount of circles. But these conversations never truly accomplish anything. They’re just a substitute, a stand-in catharsis, for what we really wish we could do: find someone who embodies the spirit of every Jew-hating internet troll, every ignorant justifier of terrorism, and scream ourselves hoarse at them until we change their mind.

But, of course, minds cannot be changed when they are determined to live in a state of irrational dislike. In Judaism, this way of thinking has a name: שנאת חינם (sinat hinam), or baseless hatred. It's a parasite with no definite cure, and it makes people bend over backwards to justify things like the massacre on October seventh, simply because the blame always needs to be placed on the Jews.

So when a Jew is faced with this unsolvable problem, there is only one response to be had, only one feeling to be felt: anger. And we are angry. Carrying around rage with nowhere to put it is exhausting. It's like a weight at the base of our neck that pushes down on our spine, bending it until we will inevitably snap under the pressure. I’m still waiting to break, even now.

I wish I could explain to someone who needs to hear it that terrorism against Israelis happens every single day here, and that we are never more than one degree of separation away from the brutal slaughter of a friend, lover, parent, sibling. I wish it would be enough to say that the majority of Israelis (which includes Arab-Israeli citizens who have the exact same rights as Jewish-Israelis) wish for peace every day without ever having seen what it looks like.

I wish I could show the world that Israel was founded as a socialist state, that it was built on communal values and born from a cluster of kibbutzim (small farming communities based on collective responsibility), and that what it is now isn’t what its people stand for.

I wish the world could open their eyes to what we Israelis have seen since the beginning: that Hamas is the enemy, Hamas is the one starving Palestinians and denying them aid, Hamas is the one who keeps rejecting ceasefire terms and denying their citizens basic human rights. Hamas is the governing body of Gaza, not Israel. Hamas is responsible for the wellbeing of the Palestinian people. And Hamas are the ones who are more determined to murder Jews—over and over and over again, in the most animalistic ways possible—than to look inwards and see the suffering they’ve inflicted on their own people. I wish it was easier to see that.

But the wishing, the asking how can people be so blind, is never enough. I can never just say, I promise I don't want war.

When I bear witness to this baseless hatred, I think of the victims of October seventh. I think of the women and girls who were raped and then murdered, forever unable to tell their stories. I think of the hostages, trapped underneath Gaza in dark tunnels, wondering if anyone will come for them. I think of Ori Ansbacher, of Ezra Schwartz, of Eyal, Gilad, and Naftali, of Lucy, Rina, and Maia Dee, of the Paley boys, of Ari Fuld and of Nachshon Wachsman. I think of all the innocent blood spilled because of terror-fueled hatred and the virus of antisemitism. I think of all the thousands of people who were brutally murdered in Israel, Jews and Muslims and Christians and humans, who will never see peace.

My ties to this land are knotted a thousand times over. Even when I leave, a part of me is left behind, waiting for me to claim it when I return. But when I see the grit it takes to live through this pain, when I see the suffering that paints the world the color of blood, I look to the heavens and I wonder why.

I ask God: is it worth all this? He doesn't answer. So I am the one, in the end, to answer my own question. I say, it has to be.

Feel free to send any genuine, respectful, and clarifying questions you may have to my inbox!

EDIT: just coming on here to say that I'm really touched & grateful for the love on this post. When I wrote it, I felt hopeless; I logged off of Tumblr for Shabbat, dreading the moment I would turn off my phone to find more hate in my inbox. Granted, I did find some, and responding to it was exhausting, but it wasn’t all hate. I read every kind reblog and comment, and the love was so much louder. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🤍

Source Reading

The Whispered in Gaza Project by The Center for Peace Communications

Why Jews Cannot Stop Shaking Right Now by Dara Horn

Hamas Kidnapped My Father for Refusing to Be Their Puppet by Ala Mohammed Mushtaha

I Hope Someone Somewhere Is Being Kind to My Boy by Rachel Goldberg

The Struggle for Black Freedom Has Nothing to Do with Israel by Coleman Hughes

Israel Can Defend Itself and Uphold Its Values by The New York Times Editorial Board

There Is a Jewish Hope for Palestinian Liberation. It Must Survive by Peter Beinart

The Long Wait of the Hostages’ Families by Ruth Margalit

“By Any Means Necessary”: Hamas, Iran, and the Left by Armin Navabi

When People Tell You Who They Are, Believe Them by Bari Weiss

Hunger in Gaza: Blame Hamas, Not Israel by Yvette Miller

Benjamin Netanyahu Is Israel’s Worst Prime Minister Ever by Anshel Pfeffer

What Palestinians Really Think of Hamas by Amaney A. Jamal and Michael Robbins

The Decolonization Narrative Is Dangerous and False by Simon Sebag Montefiore

Understanding Hamas’s Genocidal Ideology by Bruce Hoffman

The Wisdom of Hamas by Matti Friedman

How the UN Discriminates Against Israel by Dina Rovner

This Muslim Israeli Woman Is the Future of the Middle East by The Free Press

Why Are Feminists Silent on Rape and Murder? by Bari Weiss

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tizeline · 1 month

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I’ve never seen a separated au with Leo being raised by big mama, what do you think that would be like? (Since he’s kinda rebellious)

For the record, there are AUs where Leo's been raised by Big Mama, the ones I know of are Gemini AU by tangledinink and True Colors AU by v-albion. I'm not super familiar with either of them, but they're there if you wanna check them out.

That being said-

LEO being raised by BIG MAMA omg I have THOUGHTS

Listen, I don't see enough people compare Leo to Big Mama, but he's quite similar to her. Splinter and BM never got a kid together, BUT IF THEY DID that kid would literally be Leo he's basically just a fusion of the two of them!!

As I've mentioned several times before because I love bringing it up, Leo is strategic, quick-witted, observant and good at talking. In the show (as well as in my own AU) Leo's strengths aren't really recognized, let alone aknowledged for a big portion of the story. Because of that, for a long time he doesn't really get the chance to develop these skills, as much potential Leo has to become a master planner his impulsiveness and inexperience has a tendency to get him into trouble.

BUT! All of these skills also happen to be skills that Big Mama has and would value in Leo. So if he were to actually have to opportunity to not only be raised by BM but also trained by her for his entire life. If he got to properly learn strategy, planning, manipulation...?

... Holy shit Leo would be terrifying.

Think about it, canon!Leo managed to out-smart BM in Many Unhappy Returns without any real experience, just imagine what he could do with a whole life-time of training.... yikes!

Not sure what exactly Big Mama and Leo's relationship would look like. In my opinion she would view him as her son and love him dearly, especially if she knew that he's Splinter's biological son.... it's just that BM has interesting ways of showing affection. ("The love of my life just proposed to me?? Great! I'm gonna lock him up in my gladiator fighting ring for the rest of eternity!") She'd at the very least be quite controlling, I imagine.

As you pointed out, Leo can be quite rebellious, so that mixed with Big Mama's obsessive need to be in complete control of everyone around her would certainly cause some tension. Actually... considering how clever Leo would be in this AU... uh oh.

All of these qualities that BM initially appreciated and encouraged in Leo, what if, as Leo became more and more capable, Big Mama started to eventually view them in a more negative light? If she feels like she's loosing control over Leo, if she interprets Leo's rebellion as not just a normal teenage need for independence but rather him malicously working against her. What if she starts viewing him not as an asset or as a tool, but rather a threat?

If BM has reason to believe that Leo might try to overthrow her and take control over her criminal empire, she might take preemptive action and get rid of him before he has the chance to get rid of her.... Not like murder-get-rid-of, I don't think she'd just kill him, lol! But like lock him up, maybe throw him into the Battle Nexus, I dunno. Anything that would allow her to remain in control of both him and her business.

As for Leo, maybe he would actually try to overthrow BM. Considering he was raised by a literal mafia boss, his moral compass is gonna be a bit wack. Maybe Leo's desire for control over himself would cause him to try to seize control over his mother's business. Oooooorrrrr maybe Leo just wants some independance but doesn't actually want to compete with BM, so when she interprets his actions and behavior as malicious he's not prepared for that at all and, as a result, is more than a little hurt that his own mother would take such extreme actions against him. Who knows?

Hhhhhhh there's a lot of fun posibilities here but MAN I'm not really in the mood to work on an entirely new AU. Maybe I'll create some art for it I dunno, this concept is really fun, but I'm not gonna turn this into a proper Thing, so if anyone else wanna steal this concept and explore it for themselves, feel more than free to do that!

#tizel talk #tmnt #rottmnt #rottmnt au #rottmnt separation au #rottmnt leo #rottmnt big mama

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 months

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I don’t know if you already wrote about this so forgive me if this is a repeat question but, what do you think about Leona’s depression? I feel it’s pretty obvious in game and yet it’s always glossed over as him being ‘lazy’ idk but I don’t find many talking about his really shitty mental health with any seriousness.

Surprisingly I haven't addressed this (at least not in detail)! So thank you for bringing this to my attention; I definitely feel like I've heard people (especially Leona fans) discuss this quite frequently. If you look in the right places, you’re sure to find insightful commentary on the subject! I know I certainly have, but I've yet to say my own piece on it yet.

Now, before I actually get to actually rambling, I want to preface this post with a few points so we can walk in knowing the perspective I'm coming from. Analysis isn't a "one size fits all"! My experiences and background will color the lenses through which I view Leona’s mental health.

First and foremost, I usually don't go out of my way to claim, "this character has X condition" beyond what is outright stated or implied in canon. That does NOT mean that I disapprove of fans who may have their headcanons that say otherwise or project onto or relate to characters' mental health. You can consume the media you like however you want! I am just saying that I don't have this preference so I feel somewhat uncomfortable speaking on this matter.

Secondly, I am trying to approach this situation from a very clinical viewpoint (as I do have knowledge in this area). This means that when I look for “implications” or read between the lines, I am doing so as objectively as I can. It’s how I choose to process and understand characters from a health angle. This does not mean that my opinion is certain; you could very well find someone else in this area that gives you the opposite opinion. As always, I warn you that my response is for fun, it is NOT meant to be taken as medical advice.

Lastly, PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE POST before you comment or share your own thoughts. I'm up for having a discussion, but I ask that you not do so without getting the full context of my thoughts. It’s a lot of information, and I did my best to break it down in a way that (I hope!!) is easy to understand.

CONTENT WARNING: due to the nature of the question at hand, I will be discussing or mentioning potentially triggering topics such as ***depression, suicidal ideation, dieting, homophobia, and substance abuse.*** Please look away if you are not in the right headspace to read about such topics.

Okay, let's rip the band-aid off now: I don't think Leona is clinically depressed.

Pause. Rewind. Take note of my careful wording there: clinically depressed. I don't think Leona is clinically depressed. What does that mean, and how does that relate to "being depressed"?

I think when people describe Leona as "depressed", they commonly mean that he "has depression", not that he is just feeling sad or has low self-esteem. By "having depression", I'm going to assume they are referring to "major depressive disorder", which is the technical term for the condition.

"It's just an abbreviation of the longer term. What's the issue with using 'depression'?” you're probably wondering. “You understand that we mean major depressive disorder.” Well, equating the two does NOT a diagnosis make.

Mental conditions such as major depressive disorder are documented in a handbook known as the DSM (or the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). The latest version, the DSM-5-TR (5th edition with text revisions), was published in 2022. The DSM is a manual that sets forth criteria for each diagnosis in its pages. Of course, this includes major depressive disorder—and it may surprise you to learn that Leona does not meet its diagnostic criteria.

A diagnosis of "depression" (the term I will henceforth be using as shorthand for the disorder) is much more than having persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, being unmotivated/lazy, and wanting to sleep often. (I bring up these three things specifically because they are the ones I see being pointed at most frequently to “prove” the diagnosis.)

In order to be formally diagnosed, an individual must be experiencing at least 5 or more of the following symptoms during the same 2-week period:

Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day.

Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day.

Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain, or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day.

A slowing down of thought and a reduction of physical movement (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down).

Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.

Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt nearly every day.

Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day.

Recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide.

At least one of the symptoms should be either 1) depressed mood or 2) loss of interest or pleasure in activities they previously found enjoyable. Furthermore, the symptoms must cause what is known as "clinically significant distress", which is defined by impairment in important areas of functioning. This includes, but is not limited to, socialization, occupation, and/or education. The symptoms must also not be the result of substance abuse or another medical condition, and the individual must ever have experienced mania or hypomania.

Let’s briefly go through each criterion + additional documents and see what evidence there is or isn’t to support it:

We do not have his medical records to cross reference, so for the sake of convenience let’s assume no underlying or additional medical conditions.

We must consider additional context about family, lifestyle, etc. which can confound his symptoms. For example, as a prince, Leona has grown up having most things done for him by servants. This is what he is used to. So when we observe Leona not doing basic things for himself (getting food, doing laundry, making his bed), how much of this can we truly attribute to an underlying condition and how much of this can we attribute to Leona being accustomed to a certain kind of lifestyle?

Leona (at least from what we know of) does not experience mania, nor is he depicted as taking mind or behavior altering substances.

Of the first two criteria, Leona must fit into one: either 1) depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, or 2) markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day. These depend on how you interpret his actions and behaviors. Personally, I don’t think Leona strongly fits into 2 because he still has an interest in his hobbies like Magift/Spelldrive and playing chess (though his involvement in it varies depending on the context). I will concede that there is stronger evidence for 1 over 2, as Leona has definitely expressed sadness and despair regarding himself and his future prospects. It is these thoughts that drive him away from home and keep contact with his family at a minimum. It is these thoughts that prevent him from seeing himself as worthy or even capable of change—a sentiment he shares in book 6, when he encourages Jamil but does not grant himself the same kindness or optimism. For this reason, we will go with the first criterion.

He has not experienced notable weight loss nor gain, nor a notable increase or decrease in appetite. Regarding his general diet, Leona has expressed a preference for meat and rejects vegetables. This by itself does not really provide any useful information in of itself; many people have this preference.

Leona does not experience a slowing down of thought. He is still very sharp and quick-witted in responding to his surroundings, especially in potentially dangerous ones, and coming up with an appropriate plan to counter. It can be argued that Leona has had a reduction in physical movement, as many characters often make remarks about how they perceive him as lazy or not doing much. However, this criterion actually refers to the speed at which one completes an activity and as far as I know, Leona is not said to be moving sluggishly, he only conducts himself in a manner that can be described as "lazily elegant". Even if we stretched the definition to encompass long-term goals he is putting off (like graduation), this criteria is still not counted for Leona since the wording used in the DSM-5-TR states “slowing down of thought AND reduction in physical movement” must be present. In other words, both must be true, not just one of them.

Leona does seem to experience some level of fatigue or loss of energy. This could be one way of interpreting his desire to sleep excessively instead of tending to more meaningful matters (like class). Fatigue, in this case, can also refer to emotional or mental fatigue. The sleep, then, can serve as a means of escape from reality for Leona, but it does not indicate actual physical tiredness. Rather, the tiredness can be intangible. This is also a potential explanation for his lack of motivation when it comes to some activities, especially those that demand him to take charge.

Leona does appear to experience feelings of worthlessness, though perhaps not excessive or inappropriate guilt. In fact, I would wager Leona does not demonstrate the latter, although this could be attributed to the fact that we are not in his head and he does not open up to others about his feelings. For example, we still don't know what his feelings are on almost killing Ruggie in a fit of rage. This does not discredit this criterion though, as the wording in the DSM is “feelings of worthlessness OR […] guilt” meaning one or the other suffices. It is no secret that Leona seeks recognition for his skills—something he was denied as a child and even put down for. While he is aware of his strengths, he has moments when he doubts himself (stating that he can’t change, or giving up when he realizes his plans won’t work so what’s the point in trying?), the contributions he can make (even when his older brother reassures him he can help their country), and encouragement from others (Jack telling him his play inspired him).

As I've said before, Leona does not have a diminished ability to think or concentrate. It has been shown to us time and time again that he doesn't do schoolwork not for lack of trying or lack of understanding, but because he thinks of himself as above it. Leona has already been tutored by the finest teachers royal money can buy, so he believes there is not much else for him to learn. He is also not shown to be indecisive--he can make decisions very quickly and can guide others or at least convince them to go along with him.

Leona does not have suicidal ideation or have recurring thoughts of committing suicide/death. While it's true that this is a game rated for ages 4+ (and therefore has restrictions on what content is and is not allowed in it), TWST has demonstrated to us that there are ways to imply suicidal ideation and other dark themes without explicitly saying it. (One notable example is Idia in late book 6, where he drops lines like "I'll go with you" and expresses dissatisfaction with "this world" to Ortho, who is known to be dead. To this, Ortho reassures him and encourages him to keep living. In fact, I could go on a whole tangent about how Idia better fits the criteria for major depressive disorder, but we're not going to get into that here.) The fact that TWST does not really imply this about Leona makes me think this is not true of him.

It can be said that the symptoms Leona does have are clinically significant, as his behavior is shown to have significant impact on his studies to the point where he was held back a grade. This was not because he did not know the material, but because he failed to find the motivation to attend class and to do his assignments. It also appears that Leona didn't really make an effort to work toward his future until book 7, when he actually talks his internship plans and about wanting to graduate.

We may guess that the symptoms persisted for two weeks or more (given Leona’s history and involvement in the main story), but the frequency of the symptoms is unclear since the game controls what we see of Leona and what we don’t.

Taking all of that into consideration, Leona does in fact exhibit depressive symptoms, but only 3 at most (I say “at most” because we have no idea about the true frequency at which some behaviors occur; we aren’t with Leona 24/7, nor has he reported it to us) out of the 8 total criteria. That’s 2 short of a diagnosis.

“But wait, there’s a lot of information missing here! We don’t have medical records, his weight and appetite changes, etc.” That’s true—but see, the main issue I take with diagnosing fictional characters in the first place is that we oftentimes do not know a character in detail enough to understand the full scope of their lives and symptoms. Noticing a few details is one thing and valid to an extent, but to evaluate an individual is not purely observational. This is particularly true for TWST characters, as even though there is plenty of content to refer back to for behavior, there is still a lack of really going into daily activities or deep feelings (beyond the one post-OB flashback for the OB boys). We cannot observe their behavior extensively. Because of this, tons of key criteria may not be visible to us from the audience’s perspective, let alone a medical history or other data to consider for assessment. We will almost always have an incomplete profile of a fictional character. Health is holistic and not entirely based on what we as individuals see or on all anecdotal evidence.

Just as health considers all parts of the individual, we, too, must consider individual cases of depression. It is possible for depression to exist without a diagnosis—many people (especially older adults), unfortunately, go undiagnosed for their condition. At the same time, it is possible for Leona to have depression which manifests in an atypical way. Each person with depression presents differently than the last, so I so not intend to make any blanket statements about the general population with this condition. The only statement I am making here is that based on my own interpretation of the current lore TWST has granted is, Leona Kingscholar does not satisfy the criteria for a formal clinical diagnosis, at least not for major depressive disorder as is defined by the DSM-5-TR.

Interestingly, Leona does fit the diagnostic criteria for a subclinical form of depression in a 1994 version of the DSM (IV). Minor depression or minor depressive disorder, colloquially known as “everyday depression”, is defined as having 2–4 depressive symptoms persisting for more than 2 weeks. One of these symptoms must be either depressed mood or loss of interest. It should be noted that this terminology is no longer recognized, as new information is added and dropped from the manual all the time. The information is flexible based on the consensus of a panel of hundreds of experts. Older versions of the DSM can be horribly outdated and it is not advised to reference them over newer ones. (As an example, "homosexuality" was legitimately listed as a mental illness in the very first version of the DSM. Yikes. Thankfully, this was dropped from the DSM-II. Other conditions like "multiple personality disorder" are granted new names like "dissociative identity disorder" or reworked altogether as our studies and understanding of mental health and science improve. It is important to keep up with the research coming out and update our approaches accordingly.)

We do not currently have a label for Leona’s situation aside from perhaps experiencing depressive episodes (periods of notable sadness lasting under 2 weeks) and exhibiting some depressive symptoms. I must stress that just because we lack a full-blown diagnosis, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t impact his life. Leona is shown to very clearly be struggling with his mental health. He spends a lot of time in bed, typically cannot be motivated to attend class or do complete assignments, and has moments where he thinks very lowly of himself in spite of the confidence he exudes to others. What's more is that because Leona does not speak to others about what he's going through, it comes off as laziness or arrogance to his peers. Think of it this way: if you have a bad day and snap at a stranger or an acquaintance, the stranger/acquaintance is far less likely to grant you grace or forgiveness for your behavior compared to, say, a friend. They are not as familiar with you, so they will have less patience and are less likely to consider what you may be going through on a personal level. This also applies on a fandom level; if a fan is not actively reading between the lines, they, like Leona's peers, may miss the depressive symptoms he is displaying because they aren't looking for it. How many people can we say are close friends with Leona for him to open up to them about his circumstances? I would say Leona barely even lets his own dorm members be intimate enough with him to let them know about this part of himself. He has Savanaclaw backing him, but he probably does not talk to the mobs extensively. Ruggie is his errand boy, but I doubt Leona pours his heart out to him. And Jack is the newbie who did technically betray their dorm, so Leona might not trust him. Forget about people beyond his dorm. Even his family is not much better off; we've seen that Leona tends to brush off his brother's friendliness and attempts to make amends. There is no strong support system in place for him, which is tricky because Leona perpetuates it by keeping others at bay. In the light novel adaptation of book 2, Leona has an inner monologue about how he is afraid of letting others give him hope because it will encourage him to try again, only to fail another time. I imagine similar logic applies here; he is afraid of showing his vulnerable side because it might give him hope for change when he as late as book 6 expresses that he has given up on himself. I think that this is the detail about Leona most look to when they consider his mental health. The hallmark of depression is, after all, the feeling of perpetual sadness and despair itself. Most do not realize that other factors are considered.

From a clinical lens, it is not “obvious" that Leona is depressed. However, I understand why the prevailing sentiment tends to skew in the opposite direction. For the layman, it may be difficult to distinguish what is and is not clinically significant enough to warrant an actual diagnosis. Again, most will cite the same three pieces of information to support the depression reading: Leona's irritability, his unwillingness to participate, and the rejection he experienced as a child (which has now manifested as self-doubt and low self-esteem). Characters are often judged based on fans' own experiences, and this naturally comes with biases and subjectivity. Thus, some fans may project their own understanding or preconceived notions of what the "typical" depressed person acts like in their head onto Leona. This is normal human empathy at play. I believe that other fans see depression in Leona either because they experience it themselves or are familiar with someone in the same shoes. It can be difficult, and at times we can find solace and solidarity in fiction, especially if we find a character that “speaks to us” and seems relatable. That character may be Leona for some people. If you see do see him in this light or relate to his situation, I’m not invalidating your feelings. On the contrary, I'm happy that you were able to find comfort in him and that a piece of media you love can serve as a coping mechanism. You keep on doing you!

It is at this point that I will reiterate what I said at the start with a little extra nuance: I do not think Leona clinically depressed BUT I do believe he has depressive symptoms and poor mental health as the result of his cumulative circumstances. It is possible for him to have major depressive disorder, but we cannot determine this for certain with the information available to us right now. We are still missing several key components that would typically be considered in the evaluation process.

I think it's important to step back from focusing on labels and instead focus on the individual experience, and how you can still grow as a person and not let a perceived label define you. Leona is definitely working on himself! Changing, particularly changing a deeply ingrained mindset, takes much time and effort. We may not see the progress since Leona tends to hide it and/or we have limited intractions with him. We may not always see giant strides because the process is difficult. Even so, Leona is trying to jump over those mental and emotional hurdles. He's putting his all back into Magift/Spelldrive training. He's attending classes and doing the assignments. He's going home for the holidays. He has an internship planned. He wants to graduate. I've enjoyed following Leona's journey of growth and self-development and seeing all the intense discussion surrounding that. It all comes from a place of love and wanting to support the characters we care about, no matter how we may individually view him.

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graffitibible · 2 years

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genuinely confused wdym by gerard way white saviorism

you asked me this about 3 weeks ago, and i'm sorry it took me so long to get to it. i had to think very hard about how i was going to answer this one, because i want to be transparent in just how frustrating i find this issue without drawing a lot of fire from really pissed off my chem fans who hate the idea of my daring to speak up against their perfect white fav (which has happened often, and continues to happen often. fortunately i'm pretty immune to this by now but i do find it very annoying)

i want to be very transparent in that i think that pretty much everyone can benefit from the idea that their favs are flawed. i'm very aware of the flaws and missteps that people i admire, both personally and professionally, have committed in their lives, and it is down to my own sense of morality over whether that's a dealbreaker for me. i don't like the idea of calling out bad behavior for the sake of clout or whatever. but i do care about not people being spoken over when they point out a legitimate criticism, and that is the bottom line here.

below the cut, i'm going to be discussing some very heavy topics: racism of all flavors is the most prevalent one, but i'm also going to touch (briefly) on topics such as antisemitism, incest, and abuse.

and i am also, in general, going to be saying a lot of very unkind things.

when it comes to criticisms of the scene, of narrative writing, of mistakes that people make...my chemical romance, and gerard way in particular, are consistently rendered immune. when we discuss misogyny in the scene in the early and mid aughts, my chem's name never comes up (despite the fact that bullets, their first album, most certainly has lyrics that certainly evoke the same violent misogyny present in a lot of works from that era). when we discuss racism within the scene, my chem is never really discussed at length except perhaps to point out that ray toro is a latino man who is either ignored or sexualized (or both) by a deeply racist fanbase. there is a tendency, within these spaces, to give my chem the benefit of the doubt where the same grace is not extended to others.

this is what i mean by "white saviorism." because gerard way's whiteness in particular protects them from a lot of this. and i say this because of all the things that has made it deeply uncomfortable to interact with broad swathes of my chem's fanbase, the racism has unquestionably been the number one deterrent. there is a very unique brand of racism present within my chem spaces - and i know i am not the only person of color who feels this way, because i've spoken to many who can say the same - that is particularly violent, particularly virulent, and particularly ingrained. experiences with this, along with my own growing distaste for gerard way as a writer, has soured my experience with the music so tremendously that i can no longer really interact with it at length.

i am not, however, above citing my sources. so. let’s talk about racism in gerard way’s writing, shall we?

i have always been up front about the fact that i do not find gerard way to be a particularly inspired, interesting, or good writer. i find most of their work to be aggressively mediocre and highly derivative. but my own personal opinion of their work has very little bearing on the extremely racist rhetoric that upholds a distressing amount of it. here is where i'm going to link a pretty informative twitter thread that outlines a lot of these instances in detail, but it is by no means exhaustive.

it's in the umbrella academy comics, wherein the main characters are all white despite being children taken from "all over the world." it's in the orientalist racist caricatures of the vampire viet cong group that the heroes square up against. it's in the casual instances of slurs that have cropped up several times in their works without any understanding of the impact those words have (an anti-indigenous slur in the umbrella academy comics, an anti-romani slur in the killjoys national anthem comics - which, i should state, came out in 2020). it's in the appalling writing decision to, in national anthem, make the sole black character the character with "animal powers" who rips out adversary's throats on all fours. it's in the frequent and persistent sexualization of women of color, particularly asian women. it's in the colorism involved in the interplay between mike milligram (a white man), code blue (a latina woman), and jaime ramirez (their mixed child), wherein jaime's skin tone shifts at the drop of a hat depending on which of his parental figures is in the frame (code blue is dead by the time the story picks up properly, but her sister, code red, effectively raises him...and he ends up staying with his father).

and it is unquestionably, overwhelmingly present in danger days. this is a danger days blog so this is the area in which i have the most research, so i want to be very clear when i say this:

racism is an insidious, incontrovertible, and inextricable foundation of the very conceptual underpinnings behind danger days and all its associated works.

the orientalism is baked into the very aesthetic of the album. better living industries is a japanese mega-company that takes everything over, the big bad of the franchise. the asian "aesthetic" is all over the canon in the music videos and comics: non-asian characters are seen wearing it, it's in all the marketing and even present on the album itself, wherein a woman is clearly heard speaking japanese on the "party poison" track. there was also the baffling inclusion of the "clown monk" character that was cut from the music videos back in 2010, wherein a white man is wandering around wearing buddhist robes (they inexplicably liked this concept so much that they brought it back for the national anthem comics which, again, i will reiterate: came out in 2020).

this is not surprising. danger days is deeply derivative in concept (up to and including the name itself), and because most of its influences come from cyberpunk dystopia fiction from the 80s, most obviously the 1980s film blade runner. works of fiction in that vein frequently draw from the idea of "yellow peril," and are rooted in the extremely racist and xenophobic rhetoric that western civilization will be invaded and dismantled by the evil, scary asians. the end result is a concept of a "dystopia" that is mired in the very stereotypical fears of the time: fears of an east asian surveillance state invading the west, fears of the all-powerful homogenized "other," and so on.

this did not stop gerard way from exotifying and fetishizing the fUCK out of all their asian characters though!!! the director of better living industries gets to be the primary major asian character in the killjoys california comics, and she spends a good chunk of it in dominatrix gear, with a whip to boot - both villain and sex object. the comic’s sex workers, referred to as “pornodroids,” are all asian-coded and, although we get one of the comic’s two same-sex pairings (3/4 of the characters involved in said pairings are dead by the comics’ end), the characters of red and blue spend the entirety of their screen time in the highly sexualized apparel of their occupations. there’s also the character of korse’s boyfriend, who does not get a name and spends all of his screen time lounging around shirtless in korse’s apartment. nice of gway to reduce the only asian dude to eye candy fridged for korse’s manpain. i guess.

also, i should not fail to mention - the killjoys california and danger days sections of canon are INCREDIBLY white for pieces of fiction that take place in california, which is one of the most racially diverse areas in the states. in terms of latino characters, we get jet star (by virtue of being played by ray toro in the music video, though i should point out that there is no guarantee that this is actually reflective of jet star’s true appearance, since none of the killjoy appearances are necessarily 1:1 with those of the band in the comics), and we get...POSSIBLY vaya and vamos, who are ambiguously brown and have names in spanish which implies they might be latine (but given that this is california and most of the population speaks spanish, is not necessarily a given). we also get volume, the sole black character, who gets a handful of lines before being unceremoniously killed off within moments of meeting him. the girl’s mother is definitely drawn as a woman of color, but she gets one line, no name, and the girl herself is drawn as very straightforwardly white and considered to have a “fair complexion” in the comics.

this trend unfortunately continues into national anthem, wherein there’s certainly a more diverse cast, but unfortunately, very little of that cast actually gets concrete development. mike milligram is our central protagonist, our sole white character (gerard way basically only ever commits to writing white protagonists)...and he’s also the only one of them who gets an arc of any kind. code blue (a latina woman, and his girlfriend) is fridged for his manpain. code red, blue’s sister, does not get nearly as much focus on her grief despite losing someone she knew for much longer than mike ever did. jaime, mike and blue’s child, resents red for raising him and chooses to stay with his birth father once the events of the comics are over. i’ve touched on how animax, our sole black character, is given “animal powers” and is pictured several times brutally ripping apart his enemies, but i should also point out that his big character motivation is - no joke - rosa parks. as in, rosa parks being erased from history, and he wants to stop it (these comics were weird, and also incredibly bad). everyone else has a deeply personal motivation save for animax, whose motivation is basically that he wants people to not forget that the civil rights movement like, happened.

there’s also the instance of kara jeong, or kara 100%. this is the one that really makes me grind my teeth, because she’s frequently praised as a cornerstone for trans representation. and i agree that having more trans women of color in comics is great! but this does not erase the fact that, like literally every other asian character gerard way has ever written, she is very much sexualized. her job as a model means that “it was essential that she was good looking” and it is not as egregious an example as, say, the director in the california comics...but it’s an unsettling addition to a constant pattern. there are a lot of shots of kara’s bare neck and shoulders and long legs, and all that on top of the fact that, like anyone who isn’t mike milligram, she gets very little characterization at all...well, it’s not a great look.

these are the issues in gerard’s writing that are the most frequently dismissed and ignored. this post is horribly long to begin with, so i don’t want to carry on (ha...ha....), but i want it on record that i very much could. this does not even begin to touch upon the bizarre inclusion of a constant incest undertone in almost everything gerard way writes (the umbrella academy is the most obvious here, but even in the killjoys canons...red and blue are lesbian lovers in california while being sisters in national anthem, and that’s kind of a little uncomfortable, all things considered), nor does it address gerard’s insistence on including very homogenous abusive backstories for no reason besides, i guess, character angst (and these abusive backstories all involve a physically abusive male figure, because i guess this is the only kind of abusive relationship gerard way can visualize).

[EDIT: just remembered, because i forgot to mention it (knew i was forgetting something) - there's also quite a bit of antisemitism present in the umbrella academy comics that is further exacerbated in the show. i'm not the best equipped person to talk about that (i've only watched the show up to s2, at which point i kinda got sick of that garbage enough to just tap out of it), and i also have only looked over the tua comics a few times as opposed to the show, which is not run or primarily written by gerard way. that being said, he's definitely a creative consultant on it, so...i think maybe they should've reconsidered making reginald hargreeves a baby-stealing lizard man and having the bad guys all speak to each other in yiddish, possibly.]

let me be the first to say...none of this surprises me. these are all pitfalls i’ve seen white writers (and writers of color with internalized issues) commit as well. and i also, as well, want to make it clear that i imagine very little of these appalling writing decisions were committed with active malice. i sincerely doubt that anyone involved in these writing processes steepled their fingers and cackled wickedly over what crimes they would commit to their many brown fans.

i want to be very, very clear here. i lay all of this out not to “shame” gerard way or write a “callout post” or anything to that effect. i want to be utterly transparent in that i think gerard way’s racism is as mediocre and unremarkable as their writing is: derivative, lazy, shallow, and incredibly commonplace.

and that is where the idea of “gerard way white saviorism” comes from. because these are all, individually, acts of horribly insensitive, damaging, and deeply racist rhetoric that would unquestionably be addressed if it were anyone else doing them. but because it’s gerard way, and the internet loves gerard way, and everyone has decided that gerard way is their white liberal fav who can do no wrong...like the case with everything else surrounding my chemical romance, they get a pass. they are exempt.

this is far from everything. it’s just what i can remember at the moment. i am not the first person of color to point this shit out. i imagine i will be ignored, much like every other fan of color who has made these points in the past. people don’t like to imagine that gerard way can be capable of these sorts of oversights. they don’t like to think about it. they want to persist in painting their very ordinary, centrist, white liberal fav as someone whose every word is deeply progressive and insightful and flawless. because, consistently, they get the benefit of the doubt where others, especially folks of color, do not.

so no one talks about it. no one talks about how gerard way’s writing is consistently racist in a very clear and distinct way that no one wants to address, making it more insidious. no one wants to talk about the mind-bogglingly racist conceptual underpinnings holding up the entire danger days album. no one wants to talk about how gerard, and all of my chemical romance accepted, or at the very least tolerated, bob bryer’s overt antiblack racism for years, for nearly a decade, and never said a word.

no one wants to talk about it. because that would mean they’d have to come to terms with their white savior not being so perfect.

so they don’t.

and shit like this is why i find the overwhelming majority of my chemical romance fan spaces to be deeply unwelcoming to someone like myself: a brown person who tries to call out racism when i see it. and i know i’m not the only one.

#ask #anon #z speaks #gerard way //#im...not going to maintag this. feel free to reblog it though.#posts that are the equivalent of firing a couple shots into the air to keep the rent low lol

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penncilkid · 18 days

Text

Been thinking about my experiences as a POC within fandom while also being an artist and how much that sucks sometimes. This is primarily in regards to the Redacted fandom, but could be applied to any other fandom honestly.

Proper "fussing" under the cut (for those who would rather not see):

Sometimes, I really stop and think about what it must be like to be a white person in fandom, especially when you're an artist. To see yourself reflected in the spaces you exist in all the time. There are some exceptions to this, of course. For example, lack of body diversity is just as much of a problem in my opinion (Like fat people exist. Disabled people exist. Fat, disabled people exist. You can draw them, y'know? /rhet) But generally speaking, it's not difficult to find designs that probably look like you. There will be blondes, brunettes, redheads even— It's everywhere you look.

I don't think most people realize how isolating that ends up feeling though.

Because it's not just the fact that most of the art/designs you'll stumble upon won't resemble you. It's the fact that the prevalence dictates how everyone else interacts with fandom too.

Do you know how much it sucks seeing a post saying "So we all agree that Asher's blonde, right?" and knowing that most people are thinking of a white guy and nothing else?

Or noticing how Alexis, a generally "hated" character in the fandom, is the only vampire most people are willing to make visibly brown?

How about the fact that Gavin, the "thrilling" and "sexy" incubus, has so many black and brown designs— But I can count the non-white Lasko designs I've come across on my hand?

People can do whatever they want. I've said it before, and I'll continue to repeat it when I make these rambles. If you want to make every single design you have varying shades of white and never stray from that, that's your prerogative. But for the love of god, I wish I didn't feel like I was fucking crazy for talking about how much that shit sucks to see as a person of color.

On top of that, do you know how frustrating it is to watch white artists get praised for generic diversity when POC artists have been consistently bringing forth such compelling, stunning designs to table? Like I see the kind of shit that gets praised in this fandom and what doesn't. Racial ambiguity or the slightest addition of a curl gets treated like it's revolutionary— And that's only if it's the "correct" character. It has to "make sense", right? The same way Sam has to have sun-kissed, golden skin even after he's been turned, or the way Guy has to be white because there's no way someone with that personality could be anything but.

Do you know what it's like to be filled with such a sense of joy because someone made a design where a character had your skin tone or hair texture or facial feature? Like, I genuinely have a strong reaction whenever I find a black or brown design in this fandom because they're so rare in comparison to everything else. And when I really stop to think about that, I realize how fucked up of a phenomenon that is.

I love the designs that I've made, but I've also noticed which ones "do better" comparably. I don't change much of anything with how I go about posting or promoting them. The only difference is that some of them fit what is considered widely "canon" in fandom. And the others... don't. I go out of my way to make every design POC in some regard, and you can usually tell visually even without the addition of colors. I'm not gonna stop doing that because I know why I started in the first place. But fuck, it does start to hurt seeing white artists with the same general white designs get hyped up endlessly while I internally debate if I should even make another character look like me or not. If it'll even matter to anyone but me.

Some days, I just really wish it didn't feel like shit being black in this fandom. I hate knowing that I'm gonna post this, and I'll probably get responses for other people of color primarily.

But maybe putting this out will help that pill get easier to swallow.

#PK Rambles #Fandom Wank #If you feel “targeted” by this post: Maybe just ask yourself why? /gen #Because I promise you that your brief discomfort will fade with time #And my isolating exhaustion will continue to seep deeper and deeper into my bones #I'm just really fucking tired in a lot of ways

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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 3 months

Text

The Day We Learned to Argue ~Part 4~

This is simply a fan translation and is not intended as a replacement for the game. Expect grammatical errors.

One afternoon, under the piercing blue sky, I prepared handmade sweets and delicious herbal tea for the tea party.

Rio: "Emma, is this place heaven?"

Rio blinked his eyes, looking back and forth between the table piled with sweets and my face.

Emma: "Hehe, it's not heaven, but it does feel like it, doesn't it?"

Emma: "I prepared all your favorites for doing a good job."

I heard yesterday that Rio and Silvio single-handedly destroyed the notorious thief gangs that troubled both the Kingdom of Rhodolite and Benitoite.

(I heard that Rio would receive a special reward from the princes, but since he's my precious friend, I wanted to do something personal.)

(I considered giving him a gift, but when I thought about what would make Rio more happy, the first thing that came to mind was to spend time together.)

Rio: "There's even pain perdu (french toast) and all these other sweets. They all look delicious."

Emma: "Thank you."

Emma: "Since these are all the things you said were delicious before, you can have as much as you want."

Rio: "Not just the sweets, but I also get to see your smile."

Rio: "Am I really allowed to be this happy?"

Emma: "You deserve even more. It was truly an achievement."

Emma: "Good job, Rio."

Rio: "Thank you!"

Rio said with a beaming smile, then popped a piece of pain perdu into his mouth.

Rio: "Ah, it tastes like the flavor of your love!"

(I'm so glad Rio is happy.)

Rio: "Today is such a wonderful day. I feel like I could even be nice to that arrogant man now."

Emma: "Hehe. Did you guys become close after overcoming the crisis together?"

Rio: "No way!"

Rio: "But if Prince Silvio hadn't been there, I wouldn't have gotten involved in the case in the first place."

Rio: "I'm grateful to you for allowing me to have this tea party."

Emma: "Um, didn't you two work together to solve the case?"

Rio: "Well, it's more like we divided the tasks and did what we had to do individually."

Emma: "But accomplishing such a big task with just the two of you must have required teamwork, right?"

(They shared their opinions, planned strategies, and defeated a group of enemies through coordinated play.)

(The way I'm imagining it, it sounds like a natural bonding experience.)

Rio: "Hmm, well, there was some of that, but he always tries to boss me around whenever he gets the chance."

Rio: "He's a loudmouth and a tyrant, so there's no way I can cooperate with him. Ouch!"

Silvio: "*sigh* That's quite a remark to make toward someone who saved your life, isn't it?"

Silvio suddenly appeared, grabbing Rio by the scruff and glaring at him with his sea-colored eyes.

Emma: "Prince Silvio."

Silvio: "What?"

Emma: "First, please release Rio. Then, I have something I want to give you."

(I've been carrying it with me since I didn't know when we'd meet again. It feels like now's the good time.)

Silvio: "........."

Emma: "Thank you very much for everything. This is a homemade treat I made. I hope you'll enjoy it."

Silvio's eyes show a hint of surprise as I hand him the wrapped baked goods.

Silvio: "What are you plotting?"

Emma: "I'm not plotting anything."

Emma: “I heard that there were men who were proud of their strength among the bandits you both took down.”

Emma: “Not only did you defeat them all, but you also exposed the nobles of Rhodolite and Benitoite, who were behind them.”

Emma: “After accomplishing such a great feat, I wanted to do something for you guys.”

Emma: “That's why I organized this tea party for Rio, but I thought you might not appreciate an invitation, so...”

Emma: “I thought I’d at least give you this.”

(Though I’m not sure if he’d appreciate it.)

(I thought it would be better to give something I made rather than something Silvio could buy himself.)

Silvio: “I simply dealt with my countrymen. There’s no need for you to do anything.”

Emma: “I insist. I want to thank you for helping my friend Rio.”

Emma: “I thought that if you guys had fought together, that would have happened.”

Silvio: “Oh, did I?”

Rio: “We’re even. I saved you, too.”

Silvio grinned smugly, and Rio stared at him with an incredulous look.

Silvio: "I probably helped more."

Rio: "You sure? I don't remember it."

Silvio: "You probably forgot because you bumped your head. Let me refresh your memory."

Rio: "Ow, ow, ow! Don't grab me so hard! You'll break my head!"

Silvio: "Let it break. If your head can break now, it'll break soon enough, even if it's not now."

Emma: "Prince Silvio! Please stop!"

I intervened hastily, and Silvio glared at me.

Silvio: "If you want me to stop, then brew some tea, woman."

Emma: "Excuse me?"

Silvio: "I’m hungry. I'll eat your sweets, so brew some tea."

Emma: "U-Understood! Here's some rose tea."

I poured the tea into a spare cup, and Silvio sat next to me, unwrapping the sweets.

Rio: "Serving tea for this brute... you're really kind, Emma."

Silvio: "Hey, do you want me to grab your head again?"

Rio: "Hell no."

Rio: "Hmm. But seriously, your sweets are delicious!"

Rio: "I've seen various jewels in the bandits' hideout, but your sweets are more valuable than any gem."

Rio: "They're tasty, sparkling, and uplifting."

Silvio: "Hmm, not bad."

As Silvio spoke while munching on a cookie, Rio reached his hand toward the plate near him.

Rio: "Please only take what's yours, Prince Silvio! I won't give you any of my sweets."

Rio stood up in a hurry and pulled the plate closer to himself.

Rio: “The sweets Emma gave me are my spoils of war!”

Rio: “They’re filled with Emma’s special lovey-dovey power just for me.”

Rio: “This is absolutely, absolutely, exclusively mine!”

Silvio faintly raised the corner of his mouth as he watched Rio loudly declare it.

Silvio: “You’ve changed.”

Rio: “Huh? What do you mean?”

(Prince Silvio?)

Silvio: “I just remembered something from when I was a kid.”

Silvio: “I have a younger brother who’s a real piece of work.”

Rio: “.........”

Silvio: “Back then, my brother and I were kidnapped by thieves.”

------------Flashback-----------

Valerio: “Looks like they caught all the bandits. Hm, what’s this?”

Valerio: “A medal with a pin on the back? Maybe one of the thieves dropped it.”

Silvio: “It’s got the same mark as the tattoo the bandit had on his arm. Must be their emblem.”

Valerio: “Then, is it okay for me to take this?”

Silvio: “It doesn’t have any market value.”

Valerio: “It’s cool. I like it more than jewels. This kind of thing is called a spoil of war, right?”

Valerio: “I don’t want to forget today, so I’ll take this with me. Ah!”

Silvio: “What?”

Valerio: “........”

Valerio: "I don't need it after all."

Silvio: "Huh? Why are you suddenly getting mad?"

Valerio: "I don't need it since I'm giving it to you."

Silvio: "You think I'm gonna steal it? I don't need this worthless junk."

Valerio: "I don't need it either."

Silvio: "Then don't sulk, you little brat. Take it if you want."

Valerio: "Okay. I'll put it on you."

Silvio: "Don't touch my scarf! Don't try to put junk on it!"

Valerio: "S-Stop it! Don't grab me. Waah!"

Silvio: "Hey, stop pulling! Don't involve me in this! Fall on your own!"

Valerio: "Ouch!"

Silvio: "You're covered in sand now because of your stupidity."

Valerio: "Shut up. It's because of you, big brother."

Silvio: "Don't blame me for your clumsiness."

Valerio: "........"

Silvio: ".........."

Silvio: "What?"

Valerio: "Hmph."

Silvio: "I'm the one who should be angry."

Silvio: "Hey, where's the medal?"

Valerio: "Ah!"

Silvio: "It got washed away by the waves. You still wanted it after all."

Valerio: "I said I didn't want it. You're so persistent!"

---------Flashback Ends--------

Silvio: “Just seeing the insolence of this damn mutt reminds me of unpleasant things.”

(He may say such things, but I’m sure he cares about his little brother.)

Rio: “I see.”

Silvio: “What kind of reaction is that?”

Emma: “Um...”

I stood up, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere.

Emma: “Right, I also prepared a cake. It’s a rose cake I made following Yves’ recipe.”

I walked over to the cake, which was still in the box, and was about to bring it to the table when一

Emma: “Please enjoy this masterpiece. Ah!”

I tripped over a small stone, and my body swayed, the box slipping out of my hand.

(The cake is going to fall if I collapse like this.)

Rio: "Emma!"

Silvio: "Hey."

Emma: "........."

Before I knew it, Rio supported me, and Silvio caught the cake box.

(Both the cake and I are saved?)

Blinking my eyes in surprise, I saw Rio’s smile and Silvio’s exasperated expression.

Rio: “Phew, I’m glad you’re not hurt.”

Silvio: “Tch. Clumsy woman.”

Emma: “Thank you. I owe both of you for saving me.”

As I expressed my gratitude, I looked into their similarly colored eyes.

(These two just now seemed perfectly in sync.)

(They may fight a lot, but their compatibility in crucial moments is outstanding.)

Part 1 ╎ Part 2 ╎ Part 3

#ikemen prince #ikepri rio #ikepri #ikepri jp #ikepri silvio #silvio ricci #ikepri translations #cybird

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clementine-writes-things · 1 month

Text

Obsession Confession - E.N

Summary: Being a part of Oswald's mayoral campaign (and being his friend), you ended up crossing paths with Edward Nygma. Your crush on him increases every day that goes by. Turns out the feeling is reciprocated.

Content Warning: SLOWBURN Smut, sexual tension, explicit language, Dom!Edward, Slightly Egotistical!Edward, Slightly Mean!Edward, Sub!Reader, praise kink, Obsessed!Reader, slight humiliation kink, power play, oral (male recieving and female recieving), slightly toxic!Edward, pronouns for y/n are she/her, female!reader, Obsessed!Edward.

Requested by: @i-smoke-chapstick

Guys I put my whole BUSSY into this thing and experimented with a new writing style with color and italics and bold. Let me know your opinions on it and feel free to send requests. I listened to one specific genre of music the whole time I wrote this but here are a few songs that I replayed a lot that I felt matched the situation.

LET ME SEE YA MOVE! - Lumi Athena

Freak Show - Punkinloveee

Megalomaniac - KMFDM

(Please for the love of God let him be real. Why can't he be real?)

READ BELOW CUT

Politics were never y/n's forte, not by a long shot. Hell, even when a presidential election came around, she had a hard time keeping up with who to vote for. All the big fancy words and terms, the arguments, it was all very confusing. Now, don't go and think that she is a common bimbo, because that is far from the truth. Y/n is a very bright girl, extremely bright. A very caring soul with a passion for altruism and kindness. But, that was also her biggest weakness. Her generosity and kindness for others was what led to her being taken advantage of. Manipulated. Screwed over. She was a doormat basically. This kindness is what led her to agreeing to helping out a friend. Unusual really, such a kind and gentle soul being friends with Gotham's former 'King'. Yes, Oswald Cobblepot had asked her help with running for mayor. And, as in common y/n fashion, she said yes. Her job was mainly helping Oswald write out speeches for his campaign. Oswald knew she had a sweet personality and decided to use that for his personal gain, though he had no malicious intent, he simply needed help from a friend.

"Hey Oz, I've been working on your speech for the Narrows. I've got a 'rough draft' of it if you'd like to take a look." Y/n suggested, walking into his office.

As she lifted her head up from the papers she held in her hand, she noticed two people in front of her. One, of course was her good friend Oswald Cobblepot. The other was a man she had known for a while now.

Edward Nygma.

He used to work at the GCPD in the forensics division. Excellent at his job from what she had heard. However, that all went downhill upon the accidental murder of his girlfriend Kirsten Kringle. Because of this he was sent to Arkham, until he was eventually released. Oswald, being close friends with him, had asked him to work for him for his mayoral campaign to which he said yes. Y/n had been working with him for the past couple weeks. It was damn near impossible to avoid him. Not that she wanted to.

"Thank you, y/n. I would love to look it over." Oswald said.

Edward, who was leaning over Oswald's shoulder stepped back. Y/n walked towards Oz, handing him the stapled papers. He smiled and took the packet before looking it over. Every few sentences he read he would nod his head. It took him a few minutes, but eventually he read the whole packet.

"I like it. I like it a lot. I don't feel like there is much to change about it, just finalize it. I knew I made the right decision picking you for the job." He handed the packet back to her.

Y/n smiled, stealing a quick glance at Edward who was straightening out his tie. His hair, although gelled back, had a few strands hanging in his face. His deep brown eyes shone behind his glasses that lay atop his sharp nose. She turned her focus back to Oswald.

"Of course, Ozzie. Is there anything else you need from me?" She asked.

Oswald shook his head, smiling.

"No, thank you though. However, I do have business to attend to later on. I'll have Ed review your finalization of the speech. Just hand it to him when you're done." He motioned to Ed.

Butterflies fluttered in y/n's stomach. The thought of being alone in the building with Edward caused her heart to race. She looked towards him, his eyes meeting her own. A small smirk tugged at his lips which further fueled the fire in her belly. Before her cheeks turned red she looked back at Oswald and nodded.

"No problem. Safe travels Oz. I'll see you later ok?"

With that, y/n walked out of the office and upstairs. Graciously, Oswald gave her her own space to work in the manor, which also suited as a bedroom. She was very grateful for that. Having her own space was important to her. She liked the privacy. Opening the door, she walked in and closed it behind her with both hands. Letting out a deep breath, she held her hand, which held the packet, to her heart. She could feel it racing, almost 100 mph it felt like.

"Ok, just calm down. Relax." She told herself.

Walking over to her desk she placed the packet down. Her breathing would not slow down and it felt like her heart would explode right out of her chest. Panting, she sat down. The setting sun outside casted a golden hue across her cheek, warming it up.

"Just get to work on the packet. Don't think about him, it'll just distract you."

Sighing, she did just that. Placing a fresh piece of paper in the typewriter, she got to work. Her delicate fingers, covered perfectly in a pastel purple nail polish, pressed against the keys. Each click meant that she was closer to finishing. But, that also meant that she was getting closer to having to meet with Edward. She was nervous. Nervous and excited. Being alone with him. It's all she ever wanted. But, for now she needed to focus on the paper. She wanted to do a good job for Oswald.

~*~*~*~*~*~

After about an hour and a half, y/n had finally finished writing the speech. She decided to add a couple more things in, a little bit of flare. She figured it would match Oswald's personality very well. She knew how much he wanted to be mayor, but he did not have a way with words. Hence her job helping him. Picking up the papers, she stapled them together into a packet once again. Once she did that, she walked over to the body-length mirror that hung on the wall. She looked over herself, making sure she looked good. She wore a nice short sleeved soft purple button up blouse with small lace frills on the end of the sleeves, a brown pleated skirt and a pair of black flats. She looked good.

"Ok, you can do this. Just, try not to think about him too much. All you need to do is give him the papers to look over."

After a quick pep talk she left her room closing the door behind her. The small heels of her flats clicked across the hardwood floor as she looked around for Edward's office. It was a big manor and she tended to get lost easily. She continued to walk the halls until she saw a green light emit from underneath a door. That's definitely his room alright. She straightened out her skirt and made sure her blouse wasn't revealing too much. Within a few seconds, the door opened and revealed Edward Nygma, propping himself against the doorframe.

"Yes, Ms. L/n?" He asked.

"Um, I-I have the p-papers for you Mr. Nygma." She stuttered.

Edward smirked at how she addressed him, his eyes glimmering in the dimly lit room.

"Good. Come in."

They both entered the room and Edward went to his desk, sitting in the chair behind it. Y/n stood still, not knowing what to do. Her heart was racing and she could already feel her palms getting sweaty. She looked awkward standing there.

"Sit." He ordered firmly.

Y/n felt a blush creep along her cheeks. She knew she shouldn't be getting so hot and bothered over him telling her to sit. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she sat down in the chair in front of his desk. She crossed her legs and handed him the papers.

"I hope everything is perfect." She said.

Edward hummed in response, looking up at her through his glasses. A smile tugged at his lips as he looked down at the packet. He scanned over the words, flipping the pages when he finished one. Y/n's breath hitched as she watched his fingers delicately flip the pages. Despite his hands being rough and calloused, he handled things very delicately. He hummed to himself, a record playing quietly in the background. It was simple jazz music. It made the tension in the room even higher.

"So far so good. Excellent grammar and punctuation Ms. L/n. I hate when people are ignorant to simple things." He grumbled.

Y/n beamed at his compliment. If she wasn't blushing yet she certainly was now. Her hand gripped at the arm rest of the chair as she nibbled on her lip. Edward looked up and noticed. His eyes had a playful glint to them.

"Nervous?" He asked, placing the packet down on the desk as he finished reading.

Her eyes widened and she straightened her posture. Clearing her throat she tried to look relaxed. Her eyes darted to the floor immediately.

"N-No, not at all Mr. Nygma."

He chuckled.

"Well, that's all I needed. You're free to go now."

Y/n frowned.

"A-Are you sure, Mr. Nygma? Is there anything I can help you with?" She asked, desperation apparent in her voice.

He rapped his finger across his desk.

"Do I look like I need help with anything?" He questioned.

"N-No sir."

He grinned.

"But, I would l-love to spend time with you." She added.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, as in I would love to spend time with you to work on the campaign." She gulped.

Standing up from his desk, he walked over towards her, sitting on his desk in front of her. He placed his hands on either side of him, gripping the table gently. His glasses glinted in green the light of the room, making the rest of his face look dark.

"Are you sure that's what you mean, y/n?" He smirked.

Y/n squeezed her legs together instinctively, flustered at the sound of him using her first name. She bit her lip again and nodded, avoiding eye contact with him. She fidgeted with her hands. Edward reached down and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"I think you're lying to me." He stated flatly.

Shrinking down in the chair, y/n melted into his hand. The feeling of his rough hands against her skin sent shivers down her spine and made her feel warm inside. Edward felt her shake.

"Now I know you're lying to me. The next time you speak I expect you to tell the truth y/n. As much as I love games, I have little patience for this one."

"I-I'm sorry Mr. Nygma. I lied."

He scoffed.

"Yes, thank you for stating the obvious. Are you incapable of speaking the full truth? Hm? Perhaps I should say it for you, no?"

Y/n looked down at her lap, fidgeting with her hands still. He earned no response from her, causing him to grimace. He rolled his eyes, grabbing the back of her chair and leaning over her. His stare bore down on her.

"I know you're obsessed with me. It's obvious. I've seen the way you look at me. It doesn't take a genius to recognize how desperately you crave my attention." He stated cockily.

Y/n looked up into his eyes, her eyes full of adoration and desperation. She did crave his attention, that was very true. She was just utterly embarrassed that he knew it all along.

"I'm sorry Mr. Nygma." She mumbled.

He tilted her chin up.

"Did I ask you to apologize?"

Y/n's eyes widened and she shook her head. He glared at her, obviously wanting a verbal response.

"No, sir."

He smiled and let go of her chin.

"Then don't apologize. I find it flattering. You've got my attention now, y/n. The question is, what do you want to do with it?" He asked.

Y/n immediately broke out of her embarrassment when he mentioned that he liked it. She smiled and sat up straight, looking him in the eyes happily.

"Anything you want to do!"

Edward laughed and looked down at her as he sat back up. He loosened his tie slightly, taking his dark green jacket off and hanging it up on the coat rack next to his desk. He looked back towards her with a look of want in his eyes.

"I'm tired of the games, y/n. I've already expressed this. I know what you want but, I am not going to do anything unless you initiate it. Do you understand? If you want to continue then I need to hear a yes. If not, then no."

Y/n swallowed, her throat becoming dry very quickly. Her breathing quickened again causing her heart to race. She looked up at him and nodded.

"Y-Yes..."

He smirked and walked back behind his desk, straightening his tie before he sat down. Without saying anything he picked up a manilla folder and opened it up. Y/n was confused, staring at him, unsure of what to do. Edward rolled his eyes and looked up at her through his glasses.

"Do what you feel is right, y/n. Though, deep down I know what you really want and you know it too."

Y/n stood up slowly and walked over to him, still unsure if she should be doing this. But it felt so right. Like it was the perfect thing to do. As he continued to read through the files in front of him, she placed a hand on his shoulder. She wasn't sure if she was suppose to take charge or if he wanted to be in charge. So, she said something experimental.

"Move." She ordered.

Edward chuckled softly, which grew into genuine laughter. He clapped his hands together and placed the file down on the desk. His eyes were squinted and his dimples were showing.

"That's cute." He said.

Without any warning he reached out and grabbed her hips, pulling her on top of his lap. Her legs straddled both sides of him and a hints of pink dusted her cheeks. His thumbs circled her hipbones gently.

"I don't think you're in any position to act like you're in charge. You've been eyeing me for the past few weeks with desire and lust in your eyes. I know how you feel about me and what you think about me. You came in here with the simple task of returning those papers and you couldn't help yourself from letting your dirty little mind take over. If anything, I have the power over you. I'm the one who can make you melt simply by looking at you. You're clay in my hands, to mold into whatever I please." He corrected.

Y/n let out a ragged breath, once again feeling her heart nearly burst out of her chest. His dark eyes bore into her soul, making her uneasy. That cocky smirk plastered on his face only made her even more turned on. The egotistical asshole he was knew how to make her know her place. And she knew he was right.

"No comment?" He smiled.

She shook her head, having no idea how to respond to him. He shrugged his shoulders and pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. She couldn't help but admire how heavenly he looked. His button-up shirt was only 3/4 of the way button up, his tie was straight and tidy, his dark brown hair shone in the green light of the room which was his favorite color. And for a good reason. It suited him so well. Y/n had never seen a color fit a person more than green fit Edward. Green was the color of his soul and his aura. It practically radiated off of him like a toxic waste. In a way, it was true. He was intoxicating for sure. His eyes could snare you and trap you, feeling helpless. Just like y/n did right now. She felt sick near him, love sick. Her bones would ache and her muscles would feel sore. It was as if every time she got near him, she got a physical reaction. Much like radiation. She was broken out of her thought by his hand grabbing roughly at her chin.

"Are you going to stare at me all day or are you going to do something about it? I get enough of your staring on a daily basis, y/n." He snarled.

Y/n nodded, absolutely at a loss for words. Edward smiled at her dumbfounded nature. The hand that held her chin sneaked back behind her head and crawled down to the base of her neck. Gripping onto it firmly, he pulled her forward and looked into her eyes, then to her lips. She licked her lips, plump and glistening. The two of them only inches apart.

"I want to hear you say that you want me. That you need me. Crave me." His voice was gravely.

She reached her hand down and placed it on the small portion of his chest that was exposed. Her purple painted fingertips grazing across the smooth skin. She felt him shiver slightly underneath her.

"Mr. Nygma, I want you so bad. I need to need you. I want to want you. I crave you. Your attention. Your gaze. Anything you have to give, I crave." She whispered softly, maintaining eye contact with him the entire time.

He groaned softly, rubbing circles into her hip with his thumb. Beneath her she could feel his pants grow against her thigh. The way she talked about him, idolized him, craved him, drove him crazy. Edward Nygma had always wanted people to realize how smart he was and realize how much potential he had. And, though he had people who had recognized him, none had done so as much as y/n had. She practically worshipped him at his feet. The very ground he walked on was sacred to her. Holy ground. He was half convinced she would kiss the ground he stood on.

"That's what I've been waiting to hear, darling."

He tightened his grip on the base of her neck and pulled her in to him, pressing his lips against hers. She was quick to reciprocate the kiss, gripping on to the fabric of his tie. His tongue slid into her mouth causing a moan to leave her mouth, muffled by their kiss. She wanted to be closer to him, if that was even possible. She yanked his tie towards her, causing it to tighten around his neck which earned a grunt from him. He pulled away from the kiss and grabbed her face roughly. His eyebrows were furrowed and he kept a firm hold on her neck still. His chest heaved up and down, desperate for air.

"Are you really that desperate to be close to me?" He teased.

She nodded quickly, her mouth forming a small pout. Her lips glistened with a mixture of both of their saliva. He grinned and wiped it off with his thumb. He stuck his thumb harshly in her mouth, making sure she licked the substance off. Pulling it out, he licked it as well. Y/n moaned at the sight.

"You've wanted this to happen for so long, haven't you? I bet you've dreamed about this. Daydreamed. You've probably thought about this while you've stared at me thinking I wasn't looking. Hm?"

His voice was condescending and coated with lust. It was apparent that he wanted this as much as y/n did. She was certainly more blatant about it while Edward preferred to be more subtle. He craved her attention just as much as she craved his.

"Yes Mr. Nygma, I have." She admitted.

"Y/n, call me Ed. Mr. Nygma doesn't roll off the tongue as well as Ed does."

He leaned towards her chest, licking a stripe from her collarbone all the way towards the top of her neck. Nibbling on her earlobe, he whispered in her ear.

"It won't be as easy to moan either. Or scream."

Y/n's breath hitched, her nails digging into his shoulders. Ed winced gently, eyes shut tightly. He could feel her getting impatient. He enjoyed it. Prolonging what she desired was like a game to him. A fun and torturous game of his own making.

"Show me how much you crave me. Prove how obsessed you are with me. Perhaps, I will reward you if your demonstration is adequate." He ordered.

Y/n slid off of his lap smoothly, falling softly down to her knees underneath his desk. Her hands trailed down his pants and tugged on them lightly, looking up into his eyes as he peered down at her. He smirked.

"You will get no help from me, y/n."

She reached up and unbuttoned his slacks, unzipping them as well. Grabbing onto the fabric she slowly pulled it down, watching hungrily as more of his skin showed. Every second that went by drove her nearly mad. She had been wanting this to happen for so long. Once his pants were pulled down enough, she sat up straight and hooked her fingers underneath the hem of his boxers. A shiver went up Ed's spine as he watched her through hooded eyes. Within a few seconds, his boxers were pulled down to reveal his dick. Y/n shuddered and grabbed his softly yet hastily. She looked into his eyes as she let her tongue roll out, licking a soft line up his shaft. Edward gripped the armrests of his chair, chest heaving.

"If teasing is your way of showing your fascination for me then I will lose interest fast." He stated simply through gritted teeth.

She listened and very slowly lowered her head, allowing his length to slide down her throat. Tears welled in her eyes, threatening to fall. The tip of his dick hit the back of her throat, preventing the rest of him to slide in her mouth. She looked up at him through blurry eyes, humming in pleasure causing it to vibrate through his body. He reached down and entwined his hand into her hair, shoving her down and forcing her to take him entirely. At this point, y/n couldn't help but gag, choking on him. She desperately tried to breathe through her nose. Edward let out a moan, tilting his head back, the green light of the room accentuating his Adam's apple. Once his grip loosened on her head she began to bob up and down, tongue swirling around him all the while. Her hands gripped tightly at his thighs, digging into them harshly, sure to leave marks. He grunted in pain but his mind was too clouded with pleasure to care.

"Fuck..." He moaned out.

Y/n picked up the pace, every time she bobbed up she would suck on the tip harshly. The tears that had welled up in her eyes were now falling down, trailing down her face and landing on his dick. Y/n knew he was close to cumming, his dick twitching in her mouth. She gave extra care to the tip, licking and sucking it like a madwoman. She was hungry for him, starving even, and it showed with her technique. Ed's moans grew more airy and uneven like his breathing. He hunched over and grabbed at her hair, holding her down on his cock as he felt himself release in her mouth. His eyes were squeezed shut and beads of sweat dripped down his temples.

"Oh G-God..." He muttered, exasperated.

Yanking her head up, he lifted her up onto his lap again, staring at her face. Her mascara was slightly smudged, barely even noticeable. Her lipstick was completely wiped off at this point and her eyes were glazed over. Saliva coated her lower mouth, semen dripping out of the corner of her mouth. As if she could read his mind she stuck out her tongue, licking it up. He groaned at the sight, immediately pulling her into another kiss, pulling away only to breathe.

"Was that good for you Ed?" She asked, her eyelashes batting at him.

He chuckled light, stroking her cheek with his fingers leading down to her chin. His glasses were fogged up slightly from his heavy breath.

"Fucking perfect."

Y/n smiled, only to gasp when he picked her up by her thighs, placing her on his desk. He pulled up his boxers and pants, buttoning them again. Using his shirt to clear his glasses, he looked back down at her as he stood up.

"What do you think? Was that a performance worthy of a reward from Edward Nygma himself?" He questioned, tilting her head up to look at him.

She nodded hastily, reaching up to grab at his shirt. Desperation filled her eyes and she instinctively arched towards him. He smirked at the sight.

"I suppose you're right. Hm? You've shown your dedication to me." He said.

Slowly, he reached his hand down between her legs, going up her skirt. Her natural reflex was to close her legs tightly, stopping his hand. He chuckled, prying them open, finding her sensitivity amusing. His fingers grazed over the material of her purple panties, causing her to shiver. Right as he was about to pull the material aside, he decided against it. Instead he pulled her back up so she was sitting straight. Before she could even say anything, he got to his knees, flipping her skirt up and buried his face in her thighs. Y/n grabbed at his hair, moaning as he peppered her thighs with kisses, his stubble, which he hadn't shaved yet, roughly scratched at her skin. The roughness alone was enough to send her over the edge. And he hadn't even started yet.

"Now, now. I've barely done anything.." He teased.

He pushed her thighs together gently, grabbing at her panties with his teeth and yanked them down slowly until they fell to off her ankles. He then spread her legs open again, staring at the center of her legs. Licking his lips, he placed his thumb against her clit, watching in delight as she arched her back.

"Ed!" She moaned.

He chuckled and pinched roughly, watching her facial expression switch from delight to discomfort. Yet, Edward knew that she liked he. She loved it. She loved anything he did. That was the beauty of it. She loved him.

"Too rough? Or does it just feel too fucking good?" He toyed with her.

She moaned, gripping at his shoulders as he lowered his head back between her thighs. Slowly he leaned in and placed a chaste kiss against her clit, almost as an apology.

"You're a lucky girl. Being in this situation. You have the ability to brag about thee Edward Nygma going down on you. People would kill to be in your position right now." He stroked his own ego, his warm breath hitting against her core.

She whimpered, digging her nails into his shoulders. He pulled away and stood up straight, unbuttoning his shirt, tossing it to the side. He left his tie on however. He felt powerful with it on. Like he was in charge. And, he was most definitely in charge. He turned around, pointing to the marks she created on his shoulders. Turning back around he grabbed her chin and looked into her eyes.

"You should feel special. I wouldn't let just anyone do that to me. Leaving marks on my skin. I'm the one that marks people up." He chuckled as he gripped his nails into her thigh, watching her face contort and a moan leave her lips.

"You like that?" He mocked.

She nodded her head, mouth agape and hooded eyes looking up at him. He smirked and brought his other hand up to her face, smacking it lightly, but firm enough to show he meant business. She moaned softly as he dropped back between her legs, placing a kiss to her thighs.

"Of course you like that, you'll like anything I do to you. You're filthy and I love it. You let ecstasy and love blind you and cloud your mind. You're such a smart girl but you let your heart do the thinking when it comes to love. Just my kind of girl."

Y/n sighed in delight as he talked to her, His voice was gravely and low yet as smooth and sweet as golden honey. Everything he said was genuine and honest, she could tell that. It was like she was living a fairy tale. Finding out that the man she had been obsessed with has had the same feelings for her as she did for him. It was an amazing feeling. And the feeling of his tongue running through her fold made it twice as amazing.

"Oh, Edward..."She moaned.

He smiled against her skin, rubbing circles into her thighs as he ran his tongue over her flesh. He took of his glasses and placed them on the desk, wanting to see her without them fogging up. He couldn't hold back anymore. He needed to get a better taste. Harshly he spread her open as wide as he could and hooked her legs over his shoulders. Lifting her skirt up as much as he could he dove down between her legs, biting down on her clit, sucking on it lightly. Her legs instinctively went to close, but he held onto her thighs roughly. He tongue lapped at her until she was dripping wet and he slid it inside her with ease. He moaned at the sensation of his tongue inside her, and she did the same. Maintaining a constant speed her continued to ravish her with his mouth, her juices dripping down his chin mixed with his saliva. It was a filthy concoction he created, a poison, a drug that he got high on.

"Ed! I'm.."

"I know, I'll get you there." He interjected, focused on getting her to her climax.

All that mattered in the world was getting her to the ledge and pushing her over it. He wanted to feel her clench around him and let herself go. He wanted to know that he was able to do that for her. It wasn't even an ego thing at this point. He just wanted to make sure she felt good. Pulling back he stood up, looking her in the eyes as he plunged three fingers inside her, curling them instantly. His lower jaw was smeared with her arousal and his saliva and it glistened in the light. His eyes were heavy and dark as he watched her face contort into a mixture of pleasure and desperation. She tightened around his fingers and gripped his hair as she felt herself come undone on his fingers. A loud, pornographic, and ecstatic moan escaped her lips which caused Edward to moan at the very sound of it. Pulling his fingers out, he held it up between the two of them and smirked as her arousal dripped down his hand. Instantly he licked each of his fingers, making sure to clean off every drop. He reached down into a drawer of his desk and grabbed a handkerchief, wiping off the saliva on his hand. He leaned down and cleaned up around her thighs and core as well, being careful to not touch anything too sensitive. Once he was done he helped her put her panties back on and put his shirt back on as well, straightening his tie. He pulled her back onto his lap as he sat on the chair, brushing the hair out of her face. He was about to say something when there was a knock at the door. Quickly, he helped her get to the ground underneath his desk, rubbing the side of her face comfortingly.

"Come in." He said.

Oswald walked in, looking at Ed. He stopped at the front of his desk, smiling at him. Y/n covered her mouth, trying not to expose her hiding spot.

"Evening Ed, did y/n give you the papers?" He asked.

Edward blinked, still dazed from his previous activity. He nodded eventually and reached for the file, handing it to him. He reached for his glasses and put them back on. Oswald looked over the papers and gave Edward a smile.

"Thank you. Why do you look so sweaty?" He asked.

Edward maintained calm and cool, like he always did. He felt y/n cling to his leg, resting her chin on his knee and looking up at him sweetly.

"I had just turned up the heat because it was freezing in here. But, now I'm too hot." He chuckled coolly.

Oswald nodded.

"I'll turn it back down on my way to my office. Hey, have you seen y/n? I can't find her anywhere." He asked.

"I believe she went out to get a bite to eat. She mentioned she was starving."

Y/n pinched his leg, letting him know that she understood his meaning behind that. He did his best to hide the smirk growing on his face, disguising it as a cough.

Oswald nodded and walked out of the office. After waiting a few moments, Edward gave y/n room to get up from under the desk. He had a shit-eating grin on his face as she did so. She hit his arm.

"That was so not funny! We could have gotten caught!" She exclaimed, a blush on her face.

"Strange. I found it rather humorous."

Y/n glared at him and stood up, walking back to the front of his desk. She straightened out her skirt and wiped the smudged mascara away from under her eyes.

"Well, I suppose I should go." She said.

Edward frowned.

"And what makes you think that? Did I say I wanted you to leave?" He asked.

Y/n looked back towards him, a small smile on her face. Edward slicked his hair back. He could see her eyes grow from tired to excited like that.

"You mean, you want me to stay?" She asked, trying to maintain her cool, failing terribly.

"Why wouldn't I? A beautiful girl like you, obsessed and utterly in love with me? I may have a big ego, but I don't fuck someone just for fun. You think I would have let you drool over me these past few weeks if I didn't have any interest in you either?" He chuckled.

A huge smile spread across her face and she jumped up and down in joy, stopping very soon after and clutching her stomach. Edward bit back a laugh.

"Ugh...bad idea. But, yay!" She groaned.

Standing up, Edward walked over towards her and helped her stand up straight. His eyes weren't full of lust this time, but full of care. No longer dark brown but a light caramel.

"Why don't you lay down for a bit while I finish up some paperwork? Afterwards we can go out and get a coffee, what do you say?" He suggested, his dimples showing.

Y/n nodded and walked over to the comfortable sofa he had in his office. Laying down she watched Edward sit down at his desk, his hair hanging in his face as he propped his head up with his hand. Her eyes grew heavy as she eventually drifted off to sleep, excited for their coffee date.

#fanfic writer #writers #fanfic #the riddler #edward nygma #gotham #cory michael smith #dc universe #edward nygma x reader #ed nygma x reader #riddler x reader #riddler

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theguyinthemathexamples · 1 year

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been a long while since I've been back, so here's something before i disappear again ✌️

so here and now, i would like to introduce to you all,

The Levels Of Self Awareness in SAGAU

(aka, the ones I've seen so far)

Warning(s): Cursing(probs), possible misinformation?, not really accurate?, my opinions, my humour and experience, and more.

Not proofread, we die like Guizhong in the Archon War.

1. None. Just- Just none.

As the name suggests, none. Just your average game.

No, literally, there's nothing to worry about here.

No worrying about getting sucked in while you're sleeping or anything of the like.

Nothing strange happens (for now) while you're playing, nothing like that.

No extra items, no extra friendship exp, no extra anything.

It's best to savour it while you still can.

2. "Since when did i get that??"

This is when the "getting extra stuff" and/or "extra luck" happens.

Either your characters have been doing some offcam grinding themselves, or you've just been collecting stuff for a while now and haven't really looked into your bag other than to switch gadgets.

Normally, you probably just caught one crystalfly, and yea it shows that, but either 1. it shows you got multiple, or 2. you have a tiny bit/alot more crystalflies in ur bag the last time you checked.

Maybe that's what they want you to think, who knows.

You'd also probably get lucky with a pull or more - usually nothing more than ten or so.

Your characters would also glitch a lil. Things like the sudden cancelling of idle animations, not switching onto the character you want/need, accidental skill/burst activation, and more.

Though, those only happen on occasion. It's not common enough for you to notice and just interpret as misclicks, but also rare enough to set off a raised eyebrow or red flag inside of you.

Nothing happens out of the ordinary outside of your phone.

Apps like Youtube, Google, Chrome, Photos/Gallery, etc. aren't tampered with.

You're good ... As long as the characters don't break through the 636f6465, that is.

3. "Yo," - Kaeya, 2022

It's probably time to delete and redownload Genshin at this point.

You might see hints of you - i.e statues, your favorite color/thing appearing here and there, characters mentioning someone by "Their/His/Her Grace" or some other title, etc.

Your Gallery might be affected, a few photos of a character and/or a view from Genshin.

Getting extra stuff also (probably) gets more frequent

Either you get them through mail or it just gets sent to your storage/bag directly.

The character glitches also happen a lil more frequently.

Oh, you wanted [thing] but didn't have the chance to do so? Don't worry, we'll get it for you, Your Grace. Just occupy yourself with some other miscellaneous tasks and you'll have it in no time.

Your luck also increases a lil more.

The character you've wanted for some time now but didn't get the chance to get them before? Yep, you guessed it, you lost your 50/50 atleast 4 times now.

Lmao I'm kidding

But seriously, if it's what you've been wanting for some time now, you're at least bound for one or a few 50/50 losses (unless you're guaranteed)

It's also why you (probably) get that one unwanted 5* because you wanted to try your luck/build pity.

Jealousy runs in the family, as they say. It's almost unavoidable, really. (looks at my lost 50/50s)

Hey, don't blame them! They were just... excited that you wanted to even pull on their banner, y'know?

Level them up and ascend them to level 20. I dare you.

I mean hey, atleast you'll get a free acquiant fate after you ascended them.

It only takes 7 Hero's Wit, 1 Wanderer's Advice, and their ascension mats.

It's basically a win/win, is it not?

You get a free fate, they get strength. It's fair for everyone.

You don't even have to give them a new weapon or any artifacts! Just leveling them up will do the job, will it not?

4. Caught You Slippin'

Oh, and if the Barbatos statue at Mondstadt actually changed into you, it's best if you just, yk, just look at the first • on this #.

It's too late to turn back now.

This is the "isekai" part of SAGAU, aka, where most fics take place.

This might be a major jump from the previous #, but hey, i started making this at 5AM.

But besides that, what AU you end up is all based on chance.

I'm sure you get the gist of this #. If you don't, i don't blame you.

Remember that one machine in Albedo's cave? That big rectangle/oval one? You don't? Good cuz neither do i.

Either you got sucked in and woke up somewhere in Teyvat, or you woke up to a bunch of hot people staring at you.

This part of the post is very sensitive to change, so I can't really say much here.

Just know that if you manage to find yourself at this point, you probably don't have a chance in getting back to your normal life without getting atleast a tiny bit of trauma.

C/N: Yea, it's me Your broy, chips ahoy, Cake.

Didn't expect me to post, did you? Well, you probably did, but hey, i like imagining nonexistent things

Anyways, have this while u still can cause i'm going back to nap again

Oh wait right i just remembered i haven't done my commissions

Nevertheless, thank you for all of your patience.

Peace — ★

#fool's flour °#scaled vanilla extracts °#silver lined strawberries ♪#stellar-borne cookies and cream ♪#genshin impact #sagau #genshin impact sagau #what else can i tag #i got lazy at the end #sorry lol #still thinking about those times scara and alhaitham said smth that wasn't part of their voicelines #oh well #i made this instead of sleeping

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shadale-s-safe-space · 6 months

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I don't know much about you as a person, but from what I can gather you've had a long journey with art, but still have the motivation to continue even when its rough. I'm sure you didn't start out making masterpieces, so if its not too much trouble, do you have any advice for a 16 year old artist losing motivation? i feel like im stagnating right now and its awful

Idk man, all I can say is, draw watchu want without the care who's gonna see it or what they gonna say , commit to new ideas and care less about pleasing everyone, because I know that way too well, I started learning by drawing animals, flowers and nature, "you should draw something else", switches to furries " No you must do human portraits", draws humans *no one fuckin cares*, and I felt miserable drawing what I didn't want all the damn time just trying to please everyone and be liked, hell, I still do that sometimes cuz I'm a dumbass. When in reality, when you do your own thing is when you're the happiest, this internet bullshit? Yeah don't trust the likes and favs, people like what they find relatable, no one really knows how much time you've spent on your drawing or how much you love it, when a 5 min doodle you did could do more than a painting that took 2 whole days to complete just to be scrapped in a new speedy record, paint what you love for yourself and you only.

Don't be shy to learn new things, I have tons of stuff I don't post here cuz I know people wouldn't care about it, but here for this post, have this that I practiced when I felt too depressed to think of anything good and wanted to step back from the MD artstyle

You'll see, you'll thrive when you draw what you want, and get yourself a drawing buddy! That way you'll stop focusing on the internet and more on each other, and each other's improvement. Tbh I struggled with that one. Since everyone I had were not into art irl, I somehow managed to find someone after 10 years of drawing alone. I honestly wanted more people to join in and make an improvement circle, but unfortunately that never happened.

I found myself twice as productive now than ever, even though I'm not active here as much I am still drawing and making things, ofc giving you more comics! And other fun things in the future I hope.

If you're struggling to draw something just do it, man commit, i was uncomfortable drawing men and male characters for years, I've wasted so many years being "too uncomfortable" and draw a naked person like yeesh who fucking cares, it's for studying.

And ofc if you feel like you're not improving at all please, please experiment with your artstyle and try something new, please refresh your mind, I was stuck for years doing the same thing over and over, same colors, same 2px brush, drawing like a machine same shit over and over, I felt so stuck and lost, but also afraid to do something new, idk why, I guess I never felt good enough or deserving of it. I also didn't go to art school, I am NOT a professional, nor will i ever be in my opinion. Hell, me feeling like I'll never be good enough left me afraid to try and apply for art school, they were asking for sculptures, different mediums all that scary stuff and I was like, I don't.. know.. how to do those things... I can't build a portfolio in less than 3 months?!?! I don't even know how to use half of what they're asking for!!

In reality at the end of the day, art is what you make of it and no one can stop you, search for inspirations and don't be afraid to try, yes you'll fail fist 2 or 10 or hell even 100 times, but you'll come back with more knowledge than ever.

For ending I give you the most confusing drawing to ever exist [dw he's just sleeping on top of her and she's just ghasping for air but awe romance or sum lol] is it weird? Yeah but I had a fun time making it hahaha

Idk I'm bad at putting my thoughts together, but hopefully some of this helps.

#murder drones #murder drones oc #artists on tumblr #digital painting

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rosesnbooks · 1 year

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Astrology observations #3

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

-i think it is not difficult to spot someone with scorpio placements/8th house in the big 6 (not that much in the sun tho). their energy appears darker, even when they have more "light-hearted" placements in the chart.

-pisces and leo can get along pretty well, the leo can get pisces out of their shell, and pisces can help them to relax and embrace their strong emotions

-people with scorpio+libra placements are irrestistible to others. they are charming, beautiful and mysterious.

-virgos have a way with words, they are very gifted and super smart. writing down their thoughts and feelings (bonus points if they use other creative outlets to do so) is so helpful for their mental health

-gemini placements can notice someone fake really quickly. i've noticed the same for pisces. geminis tend to really analyze these people, while pisces listen to their gut that is rarely wrong. i know it may sound ironic since many people state geminis are fake, but i disagree with them

-as they get older, sagittarius moons become more interested in spirituality and learning about other cultures; even when these themes are irrelevant to them when they're very young

-virgo stelliums love the color green, a lot!

-i have noticed that some people tend to hate a zodiac sign that is their own moon sign (they're often not aware of this, and not familiar with astrology)for example, i know a scorpio sun with leo moon that dislikes leos, and a virgo sun with taurus moon that dislikes taurus people. this might be a stretch tho

-as a gemini rising, i do sometimes feel like there's so many different sides of me i present to the public, but that's mostly because i can only be my true self around the people i like, and i also absorb some behavior from the people i adore (even speech, unintentionally)

-taurus/2nd house mercuries have strong opinions on things, especially those that are very important to them. they also dislike people who are not trustworthy and direct

-taurus and cancer placements love food and cooking. when they cook, they put love into it and they like to prepare meals for people they love. they want to give others the comfort they seek themselves. they dislike cooking for people who don't appreciate their effort

-mars in leo can be really good with kids. especially if they also have earth placements, they are nurturing, creative and responsible which is the best combo

-venus in virgo/6th house won't enter a relationship with just anyone, they have their standards

-venus in the 11th really do dream about falling in love with their best friend, they wouldn't have it any other way

-a lot of sister signs can get along, but there is something about pisces and virgo that cannot be described (yet i will proceed to try) they have so much understanding for each other and it feels like they complete each other. pisces help them to dream big and accept their emotions (and to be less harsh on themselves), and virgos help pisces to stay firmly on the ground and achieve their goals

-saturn in the 4th house can have very dramatic and difficult experiences with their family. their parents weren't easy to get along with, and they never taught them how to be emotionally vulnerable and mature. they have the pressure to build a family of their own as well, but they struggle with this. however, this doesn't mean that they are doomed, many people can work on themselves and not make their parents' mistakes.

-saturn in the 6th need to be careful not to work too much. especially if they love what they do, they shouldn't spend 24/7 thinking about work, and should start taking care of themselves and nourish their interests/hobbies

-leo moons are said to be creative for a reason. they want to explore so many things and master all of them, or at least reach a level they can be proud of. art can be in their little finger, but they shouldn't be too hard on themselves when they don't reach their own expectations

-capricorn risings have conventionally beautiful characteristics. some also seem authoritative, so people don't want to mess with them and assume they're very serious. also, people often mistake them for scorpios

-uranus in the 1st in one's chart may indicate that this person needs a lot of freedom and they want to have control over everything in their life. they want to be in the spotlight, but they are sometimes scared that people would judge them. they feel different than others and they want to fit in, so that they can achieve their goals. they need to accept their eccentric side and surround themselves with people who appreciate them.

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

#astrology #astro observations #rosesnbooks #astrology observations

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aquaquadrant · 20 days

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Hello! I've been told to ask you this =D

What do you think about Jimmy as a minecraft player, what is he?

It's for a project =3

ooh a project, how fun :0

i should preface this by saying i’m not the BEST person to give this opinion, cuz despite how much i write jimmy, i uh… don’t actually watch his pov? i haven’t seen any of empires (except the hermit’s crossover in s2), i don’t watch his streams, and i don’t watch the one-off vids he posts on his channel. most of my knowledge of jimmy comes from his appearances in other pov’s life series episodes and how ppl portray him in fandom.

howEVER, that said, i’m curious how my interpretation would line up with other ppl’s. i view minecraft players as generally fitting into a few broad categories- tho there can def be overlap between them or a jack-of-all-trades situation. and this prob applies more to people who actually play minecraft professionally (ie. ‘play video games for a living’) than the casual player (such as myself hagshdha).

builders: have a creative eye and practiced skill in building to the point where they can, generally speaking, throw down a decent build on the fly (things that require a lot of planning/detail work often drafted in creative mode first). have good understanding of achieving a certain shape and color with their block placements. may or may not include terraforming ability. generally drawn to the game’s building aspect and spend a lot of time/care making things look good.

redstoners: have an adequate amount of base knowledge for how most redstone components work and interact with each other, tho they may occasionally still use tutorials or take inspiration from others (can only reinvent the wheel so many times). usually capable of making simple redstone machines/contraptions on the fly. generally drawn to the game by the possibility of farms and automation. some take it to extreme game-breaking lengths (doc).

competitors: have highly-trained skill in areas such as PVP, parkour, and/or any other multiplayer server type minigame. think hypixel and MCC. this isn’t to say they don’t have their own solo worlds for building or other projects, or don’t participate in smps, but their main draw to the game initially was competitive multiplayer and it features heavily on their channels. to me, speed-runners/challenge-seekers are a subcategory of this.

explorer: this type doesn’t actually show up often in popular mcyt bc it’s a largely solitary- and in some ppl’s opinion, boring- experience. but these are the players that spend hours in their solo worlds just traveling around, mining out massive caves, or doing any other kind of repetitive grindy work as a manner of relaxation. some ppl really enjoy this aspect of minecraft and it’s a major draw for them. special mention for kurtjmac, a mcyter who’s spent 13 years and counting just walking to the farlands in an old version of the game (tho he does other things on his channel as well).

and now for what category i think jimmy fits best in (which again, doesn’t mean he can’t build or do other things). i don’t have a good name for it rn so i’m just gonna call it ‘the sillies’ (affectionate).

sillies: above all else, they’re here to have fun. most, if not all, of their content is on multiplayer worlds (both public servers and private smps), and on these worlds they are extremely social, making a concentrated effort to interact with others even if not legitimately roleplaying. high amounts of pranks and hijinks abound, as well as ‘committing to the bit.’ lots of videos feature them doing some kind of funny little challenge, game, or mod with their friends. again, that doesn’t mean they can’t engage w the other aspects of the game or be skilled in those categories, but generally, it’s not their main objective and not how they spend most of their time.

that’s what i’ve got! obviously u could split all of these into many subcategories, and your average player is gonna be fairly well-balanced. but for our pro cubitos, i think this is a nice way to categorizing things (and it at least makes sense in my mind).

#hermitcraft #empires smp #solidaritygaming #back in my day minecraft only had two genders: miner and crafter #(LMAOOOOOO)#ty for the ask it was neat to get my thoughts down on this

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wanderingmoonflower · 4 months

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I love Team Star a lot, actually

This is like. a lighthearted mini rant, mainly cuz I am tired of seeing Team Star getting the "they're bad cuz they're not evil" treatment. Honestly remembering the context that ScarVio takes place within a school environment, having an evil team that's just a group of delinquents works perfectly, considering you don't really personally interact with adults plotting to end the world during your school career.

I get that those kinds of evil teams tend to appeal better, but if Team Skull is able to get a lot of love while also being a group of delinquents (albeit influenced by a bigger evil), then what's stopping Team Star from getting the same kind of love?

This does have vague spoilers for Indigo Disk, and obvious spoilers for the main story, so please proceed with caution and read at your own risk.

I went into the Starfall Street storyline without expecting much, I mean, when Cassiopeia came to us asking to help disband Team Star, I didn't think much of it.

"We need to disband a group of delinquents cuz they're causing the school a lot of trouble? Okay, sure, whatever."

But every time we met up with Penny in-between each star base, and she starts putting details into our heads about how everyone in Team star were bullying victims, and this was their way of standing up to their bullies, I saw them in a completely different light.

Bullying is something that's, unfortunately, still frequent in a lot of schools, and I'm a victim of bullying myself. So when all these details came to my attention, I grew extremely fond of all these characters. I grew especially fond of Giacomo, who was alienated from his peers for his strict policies when on the student council.

In all honesty, ScarVio is very down to earth with its story and how it's portrayed, so much so that I forgot I was playing a Pokemon game, since I'm used to these elements of whimsy being present. Team Star at its core is a group of young kids who were bonded together by similar experiences, and use that similarity to lift each other up and support one another. Operation Starfall only came into effect because of threats of expulsion, and Penny cared for them too much to let that happen.

Team Star was built on the basis of love, and while calling them an "Evil Team" after learning all this is a little weird, they initially present themselves as antagonistic, so it still checks that box. That love is still present in a cutscene after finishing the Indigo Disk, where the Team Star bosses take it upon themselves to form a study group so they don't stress Penny out too much.

These characters feel so real, and honestly all the characters do. They're so full of personality and color yet don't feel overly exaggerated. For Team Star, there's bonding with others through your loneliness and alienation, the uncertainty of not know what the future will bring, and treasuring your friends even if they don't know how much you truly care for them at first.

So sure, Team Star isn't evil. But by no means are they bad characters. I've found comfort in them, as I'm sure many others have too. Their experiences are real, and has happened to others. But everyone can have their own opinion, just don't push yours onto others because they don't agree with it.

Shine bright like the starry sky and become who you really want to be, hasta la vistar... ☆

#pokemon #pkmn #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon sv #team star #this is like. an actual essay #sorry guys #am i angry? no not really #am i annoyed? yeah a little #it just feels like my own experience is being condemned when people say team star is bad #or that the fact they're not evil makes them a bad team

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 months

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“The updates are making me like Idia more, but in the same way you'd like a character for being pathetic” I’m shocked you didn’t like Idia at least from what I remember? He’s basically the same as Rollo (a character you do like I think) and in more ways than one. They’re both gloomy looking guys and traumatized big bros that are self righteous and pathetic. What kept you from liking Idia before if you don’t mind me asking?

[Referencing something I said in this post!]

Okay, confession time: when I was a little kid (I’m talking like 7-10 years old), I was SUPER into Greek mythology and more specifically the story of Hades and Persephone. I ate up ALL the Hades and Persephone retellings/reinterpretations I could find and actively hunted for more 💀 so you’d think I’d like Idia, who is twisted from Hades, given how I gravitated to Octavinelle because of my attachment to The Little Mermaid on my childhood…

I think what puts me off of Idia in spite of his similarities to Rollo, a character I do really love, is a combination of Idia's appearance and his attitude.

To tackle the shallower aspect first, I actually don't like characters that look "too" gloomy. I would say Rollo is stoic-looking, but not gloomy? He has a pretty neutral face most of the time and the only gloomy thing about him at a glance is the dark circles under his eyes. With Idia... There's a LOT going on here. The hair is definitely unique, but I've never been into super long hair. The nature of it kind of overshadows his face and Idia usually looks miserable as a default. I've mentioned before that I'm unnerved by his coloration too; the super pale skin plus the blue lips is reminiscent of a corpse and, well... while I do see there being an audience that finds him beautiful, I don't think that's a cute look for him.

Now, his attitude. I'm not going to fault Idia for being passionate about his hobbies, as we all have our niches that we're super into. What irks me is how Idia expresses himself and acts out on behalf of those interests. He talks down to people who "don't get it" and takes other measures to defend the things he likes that I think is crossing a line. For example, he tracks down the IP addresses of Ignihyde mob students that defaced his favorite idol group's website. In the EN version, Idia threatens to doxx the mobs too (though he never does, this was just a localization decision). Yeah, you could do that I guess... but should you? 😭 The other characters also do questionable things (as a J word fan, I cannot deny this) but those actions are usually so outlandish no one irl would do it (like how Azul is a high school student that runs his own shady business). Idia's behavior, meanwhile, embodies some very real and very toxic aspects of fandom culture. I think part of why I disliked Idia at first is also his manner of speaking; it's riddled with so much internet lingo that it's hard to take him seriously sometimes. This is even more true of the EN version of the game, which has added even more slang than was in JP. Like... sorry, am I NOT supposed to be giggling when OB Idia is making threats while talking like an enraged gamer (both in EN and JP)? There is a ceiling on how much pathetic I can take in one sitting, and Idia far exceeds it every time he talks. Other characters (like Rollo making cheesy villain speeches, Azul being teased, Jamil's DOKKAN, etc.) have their moments of funny ha ha-cringe as well, but at least I can still see them in a serious light.

Books 6 and 7 are enhancing my opinion of Idia solely because they focus on the "traumatized big brother" part to his character. In Glorious Masquerade too... Idia gets the courage to call Rollo out because he knows their experiences are so similar. I think the storyline was done very well, and I loved seeing how Idia grows from an event that no doubt affected him deeply and still continues to influence him to this day. It's clear that he cares deeply about both Orthos and will step up to protect them. I LOVE THAT FOR HIM, it's not as though Idia is completely throwing aside one brother for the other, he's acknowledging them both as his "true" brothers. The way he goes from laughing to crying in his post-OB flashback... Idia getting so mad at us attacking Phantom Ortho with lightning... the willingness to "go" with OG!Ortho to the world beyond... apologizing to Robo!Ortho for falling for the dream's delusion... Aaaah, it's just too good 😭

DIHLBASOFYIAYVYEBfsWPYWPF WHAT CAN I SAY... I like me a reliable onii-san character 🤡 I'M NOTHING IF NOT PREDICTABLE

#twst #twisted wonderland #Idia Shroud #Rollo Flamme #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #notes from the writing raven #question #book 7 spoilers #book 6 spoilers #Azul Ashengrotto #Jamil Viper #Ortho Shroud #Ignihyde #Hades #Persephone #The Little Mermaid #glorious masquerade spoilers

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antianakin · 1 month

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@theneutralmime

I think there's probably NUMEROUS reasons fans have for disliking the Jedi.

I think some people might dislike them because before the Prequels came out there was this alternate perception of what the Jedi were/had been that was primarily dictated by Legends which seemingly based them far more on European Knights than anything else, something which clearly appealed to a lot of people and was familiar and fun as an archetype. People became, ironically, attached to this version of the Jedi that they'd grown up with and so when the Prequels came out and they were NOT in fact European Knights with laser swords and magic powers but Buddhist Monks with laser swords and magic powers, it was jarring. So I hear, at least. I had no concept of Legends and I saw the Prequels first anyway, but I'm told this was apparently jarring for people. So it's just a lot of "Well these aren't MY Jedi from my childhood" going on.

And adding to that, I think some people just disliked the Prequels as a whole and so one way to sort-of reinterpret the Prequels in such a way that they felt they could enjoy them more was to decide that their dislike of the Jedi was the intended reading of the film. It's not that they were misinterpreting it or that Lucas had somehow done it wrong, but that the Jedi being unlikable was the whole point. And this is the ONLY way they can see the Prequel films as enjoyable or worthwhile, so they're not going to accept any other explanation. Either the Jedi are supposed to be the bad guys and the films did exactly what they were meant to do, or the Jedi are supposed to be the good guys and the films failed because they didn't get that across TO THESE FANS.

And when you dislike something that much, it's VERY VERY DIFFICULT to turn that opinion around, even after you see other people make arguments on its behalf. As someone who has pretty strong negative opinions about things, I can speak to that from experience. I know people liked the Ahsoka show and even thought it was genuinely well-written and well-acted, I've seen some of their arguments for why they believe that. But none of those arguments are ever going to mean anything to me because my experience of it was so negative that I don't particularly WANT to like it or have my opinion changed. To me, it's just bad. I can't just force myself to understand it differently than I do at this point, even though I recognize other people don't share my opinion.

So some of those people who just had really negative experiences of the Prequel films and the way they depicted the Jedi might just be in a similar position. No amount of knowing other people interpreted it differently, no amount of arguments in defense of the Prequels and the Jedi, no amount of quotes by George Lucas, is every going to take away from the fact that these fans had a really negative experience with these films that will likely always color their opinions of them.

Some other arguments I've seen about why they dislike the Jedi in particular seem to stem primarily from their feelings about Anakin and the way his relationship with the Jedi was depicted in the films. Some of it might come from people having the hots for Anakin and so they just... don't care about anybody BUT him, but some seems to come more from how young Anakin is in TPM and the way it really changed their perspective on this character who had only ever been a villain prior to that film.

I think people saw the Council scene with this fairly small child in the middle of a room full of adults whose job it is to decide his future and really related to his fear and nervousness and defensiveness far more than they related to the Council being put into a difficult position and trying their best to be objective but not unkind. And while you are SUPPOSED to relate to Anakin here to some extent, you're also supposed to be able to recognize that just because Anakin's fears are valid doesn't mean the Council are wrong to see that he's not prepared for this life and that being a Jedi is likely not going to be the right path for him. That second part seems to elude a lot of people because all they see is a scared little boy and so they insist in the same breath that the Jedi stole Anakin away from his loving mother AND that they should've just let him join the Order no matter what. And so when Anakin starts making bad decisions and killing people and being arrogant, they don't blame Anakin for it, they don't trace it back to Anakin's mistrust and dishonesty, they just decide it was the Council's fault for not giving him everything he wanted immediately and causing him irreparable trauma as a result.

People also I think ended up relating a lot more to ADULT Anakin than they do to the Jedi because Anakin is INTENDED to be relatable, he's got all of the character flaws that are causing the entire story to happen, while the Jedi are primarily side characters who have completed their own character journeys and are now there just to guide others. They're the moral compass of the films, delivering many of their themes and messages, but they're not the HEART of the story the way Anakin is. I think this led to a lot of protagonist bias in some ways where they like Anakin and so they just proceeded to come up with every excuse under the sun for why he was right instead of understanding that even though Anakin was the main character and the heart of the story doesn't mean he's not also a cautionary tale of what NOT to do. That's truly it. It's a very long, very complicated fable for children about the consequences of selfishness and greed.

But people these days OFTEN feel like if they enjoy a character then they cannot also be problematic or do problematic things, so if they enjoy Anakin, despite all of the objectively horrific things that he does, then Anakin just cannot be the one at fault for it. It MUST be someone else's fault. And of course the opposite also ends up true where if someone dislikes a character, then they must come up with a reason for why they're problematic to explain it. And thus we also get the Jedi then becoming the scapegoat for Anakin's choices. They didn't like the Jedi, but they liked Anakin, so of course then Anakin was right and the Jedi wrong all along.

And more and more people who see the Prequels this way are the ones creating new Star Wars content, so we keep seeing more stories that emphasize this idea that the Jedi were wrong and Anakin was right. It's obviously in the Ahsoka show, it's in Rebels, it's in Tales of the Jedi, it's in the Cal Kestis video games, it's in the High Republic novels, it's definitely come up in several of the other Star Wars novels, it was (to some degree) in the Sequel Trilogy, and we know it's going to be in The Acolyte. And of course it's just VERY popular in the Star Wars fandom in general. Most fans aren't going to be looking up George Lucas quotes or watching his audio commentaries and researching what he meant by attachment, so they're just going to consume the content that's available and that content at this point is pretty consistently sending the message that the Jedi were wrong and Anakin was right. It's almost entirely inescapable these days. So I don't necessarily even blame most fans for being Jedi critical, I just personally can't stand it anymore.

#star wars #jedi #pro jedi #anakin critical #anti anakin critical

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