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#but that was literally episode four of 90 so it's ok
demadogs · 10 months
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Do you know any good wlw movies/ TV shows on netflix? I've watched a few, I am not ok with this, Carol, duck butter, but im LESBIAN DEPRIVED!
~🌈
YOU AND ME BOTH GIRLY.
unfortunately almost all my favorite sapphic shows have been canceled especially the ones on netflix but i do still think theyre worth your time. but it might also kill you bc the story isnt finished. all these shows are also just amazing plots too. like i would love them just as much even if there wasnt wlw relationships.
heres what i got for shows but not all of these are on netflix.
the wilds. this is an AMAZING SHOW. its on amazon its about a staged plane crash where 8 girls are stuck on an island but they dont know that its all a fucked up social experiment. a lesbian relationship became established before it got canceled after s2.
cable girls. this is on netflix and it actually DIDNT GET CANCELED HALLELUJAH. its an amazing show but it actually doesnt really count as sapphic bc one of the characters in the wlw relationship ends up being trans. but its still a great queer love. this shows spanish and set in late 1920s madrid at a telephone company. its one of my favorite shows ever literally every season is better than the last plz watch it.
everything sucks. this is on netflix and it did get canceled but the lesbian relationship was mostly established before the end of the first season. its set in the 90s and its just a really cute show im mad it got canceled.
paper girls. this is on amazon and ngl this is one of the most painful sapphic show cancelations ive ever suffered through so if you dont wanna watch it just bc of that i dont blame you. its about these four young girls who accidentally time travel from the 80s to current day and meet their future selves. the gay girlies are heavily implied and foreshadowed but they dont get together before the end of the show :(
the last of us!!! not canceled its still going!! this show has an episode that shows a past sapphic relationship with the lesbian main character but the first season doesnt introduce a new relationship yet. the second season will tho. im sure youve heard about this or already watched it but its about a zombie-like pandemic from a deadly fungus and its total post apocalyptic. also AMAZING found family father/daughter trope. dare i say i actually think i like them more than el and hopper.
i really need to find more great sapphic movies.
my favorite lesbian movie of all time is portrait of a lady on fire. its a french period piece and its just beautiful and THERE ARE LIKE ZERO MEN IN THE WHOLE MOVIE. i think the only line a man has is “bonjour” and thats it. MY KINDA MOVIE!!!!! INSTANT 5 STARS!!!!! i love this movie. the initial premise is that a woman needs to be painted but she cant know that shes being painted so the other woman has to just study her while hanging out and then paint her from memory. it ends up being much more than that but gaaahhh if you only watch one of these make it this movie.
another iconic sapphic movie is but im a cheerleader. way different tone much less dramatic and more comedy but still never gets old.
you didnt mention books but im gonna give you book recs anyway.
seven husbands of evelyn hugo!!!!!!! im sure youve heard about this. i dont think its overrated at all it really was such a good book and dont let the title fool you its gay as hell. if youre really not a reader tho this is going to be a netflix movie soon.
an amazing duo book series is criers war. i LOVE scifi and fantasy and this is my favorite sapphic scifi story ive ever read/watched. i want this to be a movie or show so bad. its about a world where some people are people and some are what they refer to as “automa” which are essentially cyborgs but they look just like humans. crier is an automa and the daughter of a king and ayla is a poor human and she has a vendetta against crier bc her father was responsible for her familys murder but crier doesnt know this! so then ayla gets the job as her maid for the goal of killing her basically but of course it gets super gay instead. its such an interesting take on the enemies to lovers trope bc its one sided, cryer has no idea ayla considers her her enemy. also neither of them are white i think crier is brown and ayla is black.
i hope you like these! and if anybody else has lesbian story recs plz put it in the replies or rbs cuz i also need more lesbian content!!!
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watchtheblog · 1 year
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all hands on d*ck
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as always, hello to my 9 true real life friends, some of my 22 (instagram) “close friends”, my 40 internet besties, the handful of you i was able to lure over here with a LiNk iN BiO, the growing number of [redacted] who are unnervingly conspicuous with their surveillance, maybe some other weirdos and haters!, at least 2 of my exes, my therapist if i ask her to read this to understand me better, my daughter in 14-18 years, and anyone else who is here and can read this!!
as a preface to a list of extravagant treasures i wish to receive this holiday season, i am going to tell you a little story. if you don’t care and just want to buy me a gift or just want to use this to curate yours, scroll to the bottom. there are words and jokes down there too if you’re here for all of it!!! (if you need inspiration from years past, i’ve been making this list for 10 years.)
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the only times i feel safe are when i am at home, or when i am 5000 miles away from it. anything in between causes absolute chaos within my emotional microbiome.
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in america, i am a sentient eggshell and all external stimuli are hammers. outside of america, i am an invincible-cartoon-fireball capable of any and all things through the EU.
once a week i volunteer, and once a month i drive 40-90 miles in one of the four directions to buy a lotto ticket at a random authorized lotto retailer (surprisingly not sponsored), and that’s it.
when i’m home, i do the same thing every day -  i wake up, i go to cult (this is what i call meditation because i’ve been doing it consistently for a year and i have no idea why), i write down everything i’m grateful for*, and i read (a literal book) for 20 minutes before performing my morning ablutions and walking downstairs to drink poison (espresso) and sit in my office tip tapping my ipad for 6-8 hours. then i watch some of the worst television you can ever imagine until it’s time to go to sleep, at which point i do a cult bonus track - it’s called “three good things”, and it’s exactly as the name implies - eat two peppermint patties v slowly, and go to sleep with my television blasting and every light on.
~ (*ok sorry for being sincere for a moment but i need to genuinely recommend the gratitude journal practice because it changed my life. thank you for only engaging with this if it aligns positively with you and excluding it from your personal dossier of me if it doesn’t. anyway, i also love cult because it allows me 30 minutes of controlled focus on every thought i have ever had in my entire life without even a single moment of peace. my inner monologue is a thought-orgy and i am merely a captive and reluctant eavesdropper.) ~
when i’m on vacation, i am a different character from white lotus every day.
this year for my birthday, i chartered a yacht off the amalfi coast (cameron) and sat on it alone for 3 days (ethan). on the 4th day, danielle arrived and we confused the crew by being on vacation together in italy but not fucking. (daphne/harper)
on the 5th day, danielle found out i don’t like music (you’ll need this information later), and on the 6th day, God created man, and one of them asked us if we’d like a massage.
being of sound mind, my first thought was to question this person (employed as a deckhand) on his ability to massage.
he assured us both that he and his fellow deckhand could “of course” massage!
having seen every episode of every franchise of below deck i was wary but i trust men intrinsically (tanya) and i love nothing more than to be consensually touched (dominic) so i said great, we’ll take two! and we settled on “in ten minutes” for the time.
he returned moments later to lead us in a troubling talk on massage logistics - namely, where the massages would take place and on what apparatus.
you, like we, may be thinking: what about a massage table on the sun deck? and that’s a great thought. however, there were no massage tables, so our two deckhand-cum-massage therapists decided they’d conduct the massages they assured us they were equipped to conduct on twin beds in one of the downstairs bedrooms.
10 minutes later we arrived to a room large enough to accommodate two adults lying down, or a small child standing up but being v still:
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danielle and i pretended this was not weird (mia/lucia), and as soon as our four adult bodies were within the same energy field we all signed a spiritual contract to never speak about this again! unfortunately danielle and i signed in watercolor and have spoken about it ad nauseam every day since.
one of the guys asked what music he should put on, but before he finished the question, danielle had interrupted him in an octave i’ve never heard her voice go to utter the words “MERCEDES DOESN’T LIKE MUSIC.” … effectively solidifying our fate to have the weirdest experience of our lives in deafening silence!
without leaving the room, they told us to lie down - which we did - and they each returned to our respective sides to *SIT ON THE BED* and massage us with this australian jerk off oil while our faces were mushed sideways into a twin bed for a staggering and completely arbitrary 101 minutes.
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the only time ive ever had a massage this unmethodical is every time my boyfriend wants to have sex, and the only reason this one ended was because someone came in to chastise them for being *below deck* for so long… at which point they both got up and left without saying a word!!
anyway ~ that’s how i met your mother ~ (sorry i’ve taken this out and put it back in 8 times. it stays!)
danielle and i are two asexual freaks so this (our villain origin story) never registered to us as a potentially sexual thing, but it has to a lot of people we’ve told! … and to those people i say: interesting. please consider my trauma when selecting a gift from the below list to send to me 😈 thank you!
THE LIST (disclaimer: all i want for my birthday is for everyone i love to be healthy, happy, rich and divinely protected (so far so good tbh!!!!), and for you to donate to the boys and girls club if you have the means. this is merely a list of things i think would be funny or nice or silly to receive:)
the intangible: to pass a law abolishing all waters i don’t like - there are too many to name, but at the very least let’s start with dasani, aquafina, and nestle purelife, for someone to defund Revolve and redirect the money to fund research to corroborate my theory that people who wear clothes that say “spiritual gangster” lack a functioning frontal lobe and should not have rights, for everyone who doesn’t like me to continue doing that because that must be very taxing, for prison reform that allows “love after lockup” to expand it’s filming schedule, for mary kate and olivier to reconcile (please click that link if you’re new here), for jeff bezos to give me a little something in his will, to be paid for all the vacations i’m going to go on in the future and that they never involve a massage on a twin bed.
the ones you can buy: * these gorgeous little poison cups to elevate morning beverages content. also gorgeous!! these are interesting! * i’m looking to redo my whole personality in the vein of someone’s really religious auntie. it starts in the dining room, here. for more in the collection, may i direct you here. *a stunning throw: in pink!!! or this cheaper (v reasonably priced, tbh!) one, the blush pink not that crazy pink in the larger size! * this thing for my desk. i would accept this but don’t really like the branding. * a 5 night stay at this hotel (a suite or above)
* a black birkin with gold hardware in 25 or 35. no links, iykyk * this coat in grey or camel. xs! * buy danielle’s book. (this story is not in it, but better ones are) * this tray to eat chips and peppatties in bed. this will likely be sold out but here. * i don’t want these but definitely want to make you aware gucci are selling incense for one hundred dollars, and perhaps we should collectively look into deplatforming them.
* a pair of solid gold 3 inch hoops. i have no links :( * i’d like to speak to the medium who has a show on bravo, please. this is him. i do not want to be “read” on the tv show. i do not want tickets to see his live show. i want to speak to a dead person through this man. one on one. (you can come if you organize it.) * these slippers. size 8. * this bracelet and bonus if you have a platinum amex, you get $50 back or something for shopping at saks! love to pay it forward!! * this jug of perfume for a room! * this jug for water at varying temperatures. matte black.
* this art, this art, this art, this art, or this art. i’m going to buy this for myself but i love this artist, so i’m sharing. * this alluring bookend that is on sale (x2)! * i don’t need this but i like the way it looks and so i’m passing it on. it’s a weight but who exercises at home… so it’s a hat for your floor. * trying this again: for someone to create a “the floor is lava” set for my birthday where i can do “the floor is lava” SEPARATELY with each of my 9 friends - none of whom know each other, which is intentional and by design. * these shoes. size 8 * these earrings. i tried to buy these on black friday but then i forgot. i may just buy them myself. who knows!
* a real two hour massage * caviar * i like her bc i think we have the same body * these french almond praline sugar things from provence that i bought at duty free and i’ll never find again. and i went on this website and tried to email them to ask them to send them to me (it appears they cannot do that) and i really don’t want to get into it but i spent hours trying to secure them bc they’re that good so i guess this is not an item it’s just a pass on should you ever be in provence or at an airport in france. * a $24,000 tribute to the mascot for Word.
some passing it forward gifts (things i don’t need (because i own them most likely) but they are nice!!) * these cute, non threatening pajamas * my favorite luxe, somewhat threatening pajamas * the only sheets i allow on my bed and body are pratesi but danielle bought me monogrammed pillowcases (super, binx) from here and !!!! * i think i always recommend diptyque candles but we are also a cade (you have to ask for this, they don’t keep them out 😗) household now and newly a boysmells household. * skincare is kind of a lame gift bc everyone’s skin is so different but i have the most reactive skin in the world so i’d like to pass along three of the only things that don’t ruin my life: this (i’ve been using for 3 weeks) is soooo nice, as is this which i’ve been using on and off for a month but the price point was set by the us national debt clock or something. (their instagram clickbait lip balm thing is a waste of money and yes i wasted my money!) also i love this and have used since it launched :)
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ok ty for reading come again bye!
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heartbeetz · 3 years
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Not directly self-ship related but I am Thinking about adrenaline junkie michael and his ''absolutely sick of your shit'' best friend
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stagefoureddiediaz · 2 years
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Wrapped in red - Costume meta and colour theory
Ok so disclaimer to start - I got a little carried away and ended up with over 3000 words - so I’ve broken it in to two parts - Link to part 2 at the end of this part and I’ll add these onto my pinned post so you can find them easily later if you’d like!
I hate being right (or almost right) about stuff well not really, because Vindication!!! But in all seriousness the only reason I’m remotely happy about the fact that I (almost) called it on Buck in Maroon, Eddies outfit in the end scenes and Christophers Christmas jumper is that I feel like my read on the costume department, what their doing and the use of colour theory is almost on point and that means I can go into hiatus and create the posts I’d intend with a bit more confident. It also means I can point towards the costuming of Tay Kay and say we’ll definitely be saying sayonara to her before too long!
This post is a mixture of costume meta and colour theory because the colour stuff expands into the backgrounds rather nicely in this episode and mean my yellow and blue colour theory for season 5 continues to hold up (yay!) I’m going through in chronological order so it jumps about a bit between costume and colour theory - hopefully it’ll still make sense!
My costume stuff is going to include a few of our supporting cast this time, because there is something interesting happening with what they chose to do win this episode and it goes beyond two theories I have, which I will be writing up in hiatus, I’m not going to talk about them here (because this post is already going to be a long one) but trust me they’re good and continued to hold up in this episode, and you’ll never be able to watch an episode of 911 in the same way again once you’ve read them (@theladyyavilee can attest to this because I told her about them before 5x10 aired!)
The first thing to notice amongst all the red and green christmasy stuff going on is the predominance of blue of family 2 and those surrounding them as they see Arthur (the father) with family 1 - who are all in mostly shades of red. For me family 2 being more blue is suggestive of them being left out in the cold for this family christmasy time - dad is not there so the family isn’t complete.
Its in this scene we catch a glimpse of Eddies patches for the first time. I posted about them in response to an ask I received last week and my thinking still holds up here - everyone else has neat patches, whereas Eddies is looking a bit frayed around the edges - and I can now tell that its definitely pulled threads and fraying, not just bad sewing!  
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What I’m finding especially interesting about this is that its the American flag one that’s distressed. Eddie is a war hero- he is a literal embodiment of the all American hero man of action(with his silver star). That this is the patch that is fraying suggests to me that what we’re seeing is the beginning of his journey away from that toxic maculinity and heteronormative ideal (how exciting), there’s probably some more fraying to come  because its not going to be an easy journey but Eddie stage four is what I’m here for!  We see the patch is frayed in other scenes throughout the episode, including the one with Buck by the tree in the firehouse when he’s talking about Christophers nightmare. His LAFD patch on his left arm is in good condition - his ability as a firefighter is not in question, its his ability to live up to what he believes he should be as a person (and an American) that is the problem here.
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The next scene and we are tree decorating and Chris is ‘wrapped in red’ to a certain extent here- red trousers and the button up shirt is a traditional red and green tartan (my sister had a Christmas dress in this tartan as a child - the same one from the yellow pages adverts in the early 90’s for any UK based people who were around then and can remember!) 
What is interesting is the t-shirt he has on underneath - I’m spotting a bit of a sea theme developing in Christophers clothing this season - we had the green tee with the poisonous creatures on which included sea creatures, i’m pretty sure his yellow tee from the Ana breakup was surf related and now this one - with sharks! 
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It feels a bit like its saying - sharks are circling and they can smell blood and that’s what makes them attack - and isn’t that a bit like the perfect analogy for what trauma and PTSD and mental health conditions can be like - it circles around you for a while, spots a weakness and goes in for the kill taking you to some dark places in the process - I know its a pretty good analogy for some of my own mental health experiences!
The sea creatures/ sea related t-shirts for me are a nod towards being all at sea, but also suggestive of drowning - call back to the Tsunami and also Christophers drawings of the his mom in a red who was drowning anyone?!!
Athena is in red - she’s in full on Mom mode in this scene and lamenting her family Christmas isn’t going to be so full of family! Also I love happy family man Bobby in this scene!
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then we’re back to Eddie’s house and that outfit which calls back to parent teacher evening. the interesting parallel here for me though is that that shirt is navy blue and who else did owe see in a navy blue shirt with a pattern on in maybe the last episode?? (its hard to see the pattern in this screenshot but its there!)
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To me this is all about dark times and confusion ahead and the navy blue is a nod towards it being darkest before the dawn - when the sky is that deep navy colour and the stars have faded out - stars are light so them not being present at that moment just speaks of that feeling of a loss of hope because you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel you’re in - another mental health thing and its most likely where we’re going to see Eddies arch heading in 5b - I have a feeling we’ve not yet seen the worst of Eddies breakdown!
Christopher is wearing a sleep jumper which says slippery slope (i couldn’t get an image of it!) on it - more analogies which ties in with mental health and trauma. - I mean there’s no subtlety at this point!
As an aside - the universe has disappeared from Christophers room and the dinosaurs are back - the dinosaurs were linked to both Shannon and Ana so I think its fair to assume that any further exploration of Chris trauma will continue to be tied in to Shannon, her death and Chris feeling like people leave him.  I also spotted a few California posters in Christophers room as well - they’re not leaving California, just saying!
Then we head over to the firehouse and we have Tay kay in her brown/beige and red jacket - wrapped in red but not completely. 
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I have to admit the fact that while its a great blazer, these two colours are in a dogtooth checkerboard weave made me laugh  - red is love and passion, whereas brown (especially the beige tones) means boring, dull and monotonous (have you heard of the beige brigade - a term used to describe boring dull people and its common parlance to describe things as being a bit beige!) so the passion in the relationship is on the wane and its starting to become dull and boring! I need say no more about where its heading! I’m also going to point out that the sweaters Taylor shows Bobby are not Buck sweaters by any stretch - the colours are all wrong as are the necklines - more proof if it were needed that she doesn’t know Buck!!
Shout out to the Appa cuddly toy Bobby handles!!
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Next we meet Phyllis - our frequent 911 caller who is sitting on a yellow armchair - if you’ve read my other posts you’ll know yellow is a colour of communication.
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And what is Phyllis trying to do - communicate - she’s lonely at Christmas and has taken up calling 911 to connect with people! I’m not going into her any further in this post, because she connects perfectly to one of my theories so I’ll pick her back up then (i’m sorry I’m a tease!)
Ok I’m ending this post here! click the link for part 2
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watched s11ep1
i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance
lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading
enjoy:
hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale
(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)
anyway
episode starts off with a tense scouting mission
it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately
i imagine that will continue for a while
rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up
obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec
as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)
never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun
yes, she is super hot using it
yes, daryl watches her do it
anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife
just fuck already, jfc
titles!
cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes
BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there
istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him
oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk
cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick
cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”
she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”
no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst
daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 
bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!
moving on
cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc
for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 
this will be a common occurrence 
but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”
so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well
speaking of executions
there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool
this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”
(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)
anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”
it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 
it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”
(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)
(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)
anyway, moving away from that briefly
i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez
and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel
they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)
zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”
cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”
but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important
two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood
but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”
(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)
i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch
the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”
their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones
they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”
sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 
the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”
tragic backstory to be continued ig
back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic
they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away
but dog runs away!
and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears
#priorities
the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death
which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part
like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”
anyway
my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE
the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end
anyway, cue credits!
final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)
the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!
-diz
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actualhumancryptid · 3 years
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ok. here’s the thing about growing up with an alternative school education. (in my case, Steiner. But I’ll have to say Waldorf here because nobody bloody knows what I’m talking about when I say Steiner outside of Australia).
For those of you who didn’t spend their entire school lives in an overpriced Waldorf inclosure — TV and media are something that you’re supposed to restrict. Like heavily. I know some people who had TVs outright banned growing up. And because I’m an old millennial, the internet wasn’t a thing. Even when it was a thing, it wasn’t a thing because nobody but me and two other people in. my class seemed to have it.
This preamble is a way to explain how devastating it is not to be able to talk to my friends about pop culture. I mean, we can. We’re adults. But there is a gap. At least for my childhood friends. or maybe just a lack of interest. I, personally, had to work very hard to be as media literate as I am. Like I made it my mission. Some teenagers are out there trying to score alcohol or drugs or whatever. I was all about scoring TV. (and the internet. But that was harder, because dial-up and the ubiquitous 90′s family computer room). 
I don’t know if Waldorf are still strongly encouraging parents to not allow TV these days. I’d imagine the internet is the bigger threat for them now since who even watches TV on TV. They may have updated their priorities, but 14 years of my life there has taught me that....this isn’t something they like doing. You get taught the same stuff by the same teachers in the same way forever.  
Being as obsessed with media as I was (and am) was a very very mediocre alternative kid rebellion on my part. I basically had the first four seasons of Friends memorised because I’d downloaded typed transcripts and read those even when I didn’t have the episodes. I read transcripts of Buffy because back then we had to wait six months for the new seasons. I read obsessively about how the X-Files was made.
Even though I’ve wanted to be a writer since before I was literate, I never dreamed of writing for TV or anything like that (I’m australian, it was the nineties. The TV i idolised felt very removed from my world. Novelist was a more attainably goal). 
Anyway. I just think it’s a funny factoid about me. That when I was a child I wasn’t allowed to wear the colour black to class or use black crayons, learned to write using a literal feather quill and ink (the first time I used a ballpoint in class I was 13, and it was only maths that allowed it, until they relaxed more when I was 14). Wasn't allowed to learn to read until they said so (my mum got told off. We weren’t supposed to ‘learn to read’ until we were about 8.) 
And now? I spend my free time obsessively analysing TV shows.  
*marge simpson voice* I just think it’s neat.
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katatonicimpression · 3 years
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OK so I wrote four really long posts about autism and Monet St. Croix (aka Penance, aka M, aka Modesty Blaise).
For the record:
I am an autistic woman but I should acknowledge that my experiences are my own. I cannot speak for others and I don't intend to.
TW for mild ableism (it's nothing ridiculous, what you'd expect for a 90s comic)
I'm assuming whoever reads this has either read the series, or is at least familiar with it.
If you didn't know, the character of Monet is really, like, four people. While there is a hyper-literal, in-universe interpretation of the character, today I'm more interested in taking her as a whole. Twins!Monet, Penance, Monet herself all end up reflecting different aspects of the character. I'm engaging with how she comes across OVERALL in this series.
Without further ado....
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Neurodivergence in Generation X Part 1:
The Savant
Monet is a genius. She lapses into unresponsive, catatonic states where she can't be communicated with and then snaps out of these states having done some genius thinking. This is what gets them thinking she might be autistic in the first place. Hmmm... let's talk about it.
You've definitely seen this trope before. A "high-functioning" autistic character who's a little weird, bad with people but has some extraordinary intellectual ability that everyone around them is just astounded by. It's in a bunch of police procedural shows, a bunch of Sherlock Holmes adaptations, Rain Man etc. Hell, it's so pervasive that The Imitation Game portrays Alan Turing as autistic despite there being no historic evidence for that. The idea that autistic people are savants, ostensibly out-of-touch weirdos with secret genius powers is so pervasive that it's literally rewriting history.
Is there any truth to the savant myth? Well, a lot of autistic people sure are smart. But many aren't (yours truly), and people with "more severe" cases of autism often do very poorly in cognitive tests. There is some evidence that autistic people are more likely to appear at the extremities of IQ and similar measurements. I.e. that autistic people are more likely to be either very high or very low in terms of tested cognitive ability. But, there's possibly a methodology problem with that. Namely, children with either very high or very low abilities are more likely to be noticed by parents, teachers etc and are thus more likely to be tested for autism.
In general, science surrounding cognitive ability and the nebulous concept of "intelligence" is messy. It has a whole messy racist, classist, sexist, ongoing history and the amount of good, reliable research is extremely limited. So, without getting into a whole thing about it: some autistic people are smart, but there's no reason to think that they're smart because their autistic. It should go without saying that the idea that autistic people have special quasi-magical intellectual abilities is a load of bull.
The problem with the savant myth (aside from inaccuracy) is that it feeds into this phenomenon where autistic people are subject to bizarre and unrealistic expectations. Often a binary is imposed where if you can't do the rain man magic trick and prove you're a genius, then you're immediately treated like a complete idiot.
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Monet's intelligence is literally a super power and combined with the catatonic thing, she ends up being a clear example of the savant trope. For this reason, I think it's worth being critical of how the portrayal might reinforce this outdated, binary way of looking at autistic people's intelligence.
However, something can be an example of a problematic trope and still have redeemable aspects to it. I like a lot of how Monet's intelligence is portrayed.
The catatonic episodes are, when not taken too literally, a good shorthand for how someone's thinking process might be incomprehensible to those around them, while still being very effective. It's a simple but efficient way of showing how someone might "think differently" to others and I like that (even if it is in like half of all police procedural shows of the 00s).
Non-Verbal
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Now seems a good enough time to mention that, while the series initially seems open to the idea of someone being both autistic and well spoken, after a while it starts to go hard on this assumption that "autistic = non-verbal"
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Claudette (the only "officially" autistic character - see Part 4) doesn't speak at all, although she's clearly able to communicate with her twin sister perfectly well despite this. This isn't a bad choice inherently; autistic kids who don't talk is definitely a real thing that happens, and autistic people being "hard to reach" when lost in thought is fairly common. Also, I think it's a genuinely nice detail how she's actually perfectly reachable by those who know her well.
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It is bizarre how often the "autism = silent" thing comes up though. And it's a weird assumption to encourage because it's simply not true. It also falls into the "my child is in there, deep down inside it all" trope that is, while not the worst thing ever, irritating to say the least.
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Personally, I'm going to accept the canon that autistic people are immune to telekinesis in the x-men universe.
So, while there's nothing particularly new or interesting in Generation X when it comes to portraying the intelligence and communication skills of autistic people, it's not the worst it could be either. It's tropey, and a little tired, but overall well intentioned. Besides, we've got bigger fish to fry (see part 4)
But first I want to talk about a few things that Generation X does that are actually kind of cool and haven't been done to death already....
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Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
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riverdale-retread · 3 years
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Riverdale S2 E19
- Alice finally confessing to FP about Charles and Chic. FP is understandably confused and then poor upset Alice tries (and inevitably fails) to explain a plot thread of Riverdale to someone not part of that plot and gets completely hysterical because that is too much mental energy for Alice. I sympathize. It's hard. A quick precis may be Betty Is An Impulsive Arrogant Piece Of Shit Whose Actions Wreak Havoc On Others. That kind of explains most of Riverdale. 
 - Midge is dead and there's a funeral appropriate Riverdale Vixen cheerleader outfit complete with black pompoms they all wear for her funeral. I want to know if they've always had this or this was especially done up for Midge. Cheryl in the cape with the oxblood lipstick, and their using the pompoms at the end of her lament. Cheryl is god and this show is so beautiful to look at.    
-Other aesthetic pleasures of the show: The Main Four in a booth at Pop's, Jughead in suspenders and Veronica in a sexy funeral sweater. Lovely. Also Jughead takes his hat off to show the full glory of his marvelous hair, which pleased me. Gorgeous sunlight coming through the high window at Riverdale High, making Bughead coming down the staircase look like descending angels. Close up of Veronica bravely putting on lipstick to go take care of Nick St Clair. What a face.
- Betty knocks a man out by bashing him on the head, this time with a rolling pin! (Makes three - shovel in S2a, rolling pin S2b, golf club S4).
- Jughead being INTENSELY irritated at being the first one that Keller interrogates for the investigation into Midge's murder was well done.
- Betty compulsively lying to Jughead about Black Hood being on the phone and also says the plot conclusion: NO THAT WAS MY DAD. Sidenote: Has Jughead ever spoken to Hal Cooper?? I think not.
- FP coming to rescue Jughead from his fatal attraction to Betty, because that’s what it is, and keep him from injuring/ killing Chic. Jughead thinks Betty is a safe place, good and beautiful, and everything she wants him to do is by extension Good and Beautiful and Safe, but it’s so not true.  Betty makes Jughead do violence that he’s not good at or likes.  Actually what suits Betty is a mercilessly violent man, like Archie (Does this... make me... a Barchie?  Moi?) And Jughead is so hungry for a mother figure that he says to FP, ‘We’re going to leave Betty AND ALICE alone in the house with a potential killer?’ when Alice is someone who has treated him like crap until he literally saved her life.   And just like the mother-daughter team of Penelope and Cheryl Blossom, the FP-Jughead scenes are always the highlight of any episode.
- OK so while all this is happening at the Coopers’, Nick St Clair kidnaps Archie, beats him up, manipulates Veronica into a non-consensual evening, Archie breaks out of his captivity, and breaks down the door, but Veronica’s already taken care of it by roofie-ing Nick, and the whole thing ends with a reverse kidnapping where Veronica earns a cool $1M ransom money.  Three highlights:  I liked Archie’s passionate run, almost crying, to rescue Veronica. And Nick St Clair smarmily excusing his own rapist past by calling it ‘school boy antics’  so true to life!  And finally, Veronica cracking a little joke about having a powerdrill sent up to dispatch Nick.
- Another physical acting thing that Jughead does really well is panting and sighing. He has a full repertoire of these - to express impatience, rising temper, surprise, anticipation, despair and being appalled.  Also the cute little I Hope To Get Laid smile he gives the desk clerk at the flophouse is gif’ed a lot, and really, I had not realized that 90% of Bughead Chemistry is all generated by Jughead and the force of his adoration for Betty, who does not deserve it. 
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chalkrevelations · 3 years
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Street Dance of China S3, Ep 3. It sounds like maybe I should step up my pace on these, as they’ve announced the captains for S4 now? (Yibo back, Lay Zhang back, plus a couple of new guys I don’t actually recognize yet.) When is this going to air because it is just LAUGHABLE that I can keep up with 3+ hours of this a week. Particularly if I’m going to keep obsessively re-watching Word of Honor AND try to finally finish Killer & Healer in the miniscule free time I actually have for teevee. There’s certainly no way I can watch and dither on about 3+ hours/week worth of dance show in realtime before January, at least.
ANYWAY, this ep, we get a recap of everyone falling out after the captains’ cypher, and we learn who got the final extra towels and passed through to the next round: Lu Jiao Ni, who we barely see, on Team Jackson Wang; Yuan Ye (as promised) and A Li (who we barely see) on Team Lay Zhang (ETA: Wait, we find out later that A Li isn’t even on Lay’s team, she’s on Yibo’s - he wouldn’t move her on, and she gets one of Lay’s towels instead); Bullet (as promised) on Team Wang Yibo; and Xiao Ming (as promised? maybe? as we’ve barely seen this guy?) on Team Wallace Chung.
This week: Out of 400 people, we’re down to 105. Not all of these faces are familiar, and I suspect I don’t really need to learn 90 percent of the unfamiliar faces. I … am going to go out on a limb and make a guess that one of the dancers whose name has been bolded in one of the past two episode recaps is going to be the ultimate winner, because I have umpty SYTYCD episode reactions on my LJ, and I suspect I know how this works. I wouldn’t even put money on any of those five bolded names in the previous paragraph, quite honestly. Anyway, now it’s time to start culling down to 60. We bring out the team captains, and my first reaction is “MY EYES” because wth are some of you wearing? Wow. Yibo’s shoelaces are all over his jacket. Wallace looks like he rolled a flasher on the street for his trenchcoat. Lay Zhang is wearing a baggy pink jumpsuit, and I guess, OK, it’s easier to maneuver bathroom breaks in one of those when you have a dick, but that’s definitely a fashion trend that should have stayed back in the ‘80s. I guess questionable fashion is an international phenomenon.
There’s also an empty chair for the promised Mystery Guest, and there’s a game with clues, and a lot of guesses from our captains about who the Mystery Guest will be, and Jackson does A Bit through the whole thing. I don’t know whether to be entertained or annoyed by him. He’s the only one without some egregiously questionable fashion choices (so far) this episode, so maybe he gets a pass. Anyway, I don’t have the pop cultural context to understand the guesses, and I also don’t have either the pop cultural context or the knowledge of this area of dance to grok the Mystery Guest’s identity, but he’s Huang Bo, and apparently he had more than 1000 dance performances in the 1990s, so he must be at least as old as me and Wallace, if not older. Yibo takes the opportunity to make the – very NON-politic – remark that maybe HE wasn’t even born yet at the time? That … is not the way to win friends and influence people, Infant. Also, the Mystery Guest is NOT the person Jackson kept doing A Bit about. The reveal is all very dramatic, and he does a lil’ bit of choreography from of each of the four Extant Captains’ videos before he takes off his mask, and they act appropriately impressed, and there are some girls with short shorts among his backup dancers, so that all happened. The show obviously wants me to be very impressed by him. Show also tells us he’ll have a special skill that will be very important and at least leads us to believe that he’s going to be the “life-saver,” so the audience immediately curries favor, or at least plays at it.
Next up: Rules. Eliminations this week involve contestants self-selecting into groups of anywhere from one to five people and performing for a panel of all the captains. Teams pull a number out of a hat for performance order. Thumbs up from all four captains, you go to the next round. Abstentions from all captains, you go home. Thumbs up from some and abstentions from others, you face the possibility of a call-out from other contestants, whereupon you have to dance for your life battle to find out which of you stays and which of you goes. Oh, and we’re only going to keep going until the 60 available seats are filled, and then we’re done. If you’re number 35, you’d better be prepared to battle someone earlier and kick their ass, or you’re fucked, you don’t even get to dance. I’ve said it before: Audentes Fortuna adiuvat. Only wait, ETA: There will be some last minute BS rules fuckery, in a way that is clearly intended to save someone in particular, which I feel some kind of way about - and it is not really the way that almost everyone on the show seems to feel - but I guess we’ll get to that later.
And cue ridiculously long nattering, so we’re going to cut here.
First group is Lin Meng (Team Wallace), Teng Zai (Team Lay), Bing - of the infamous motorbike flirtation - and Dian Men (both Team Yibo), along with a dude we haven’t actually seen yet, Tang Qian (also Team Yibo). Your lack of even B-roll so far is concerning re: your chances in this competition, Tang Qian. I’m just sayin’. Anyway, this is a powerhouse group, and at least Lin Meng and Teng Zai are familiar with each other because they’re from the same crew, and Xiao Bao remarks from the audience of contestants that these guys are going to go through, no matter what. They’re going to do a totally popping routine. My sound drops out at the beginning which … yeah, makes them look even more like a boyband at the beginning, in their matching baseball uniform shirts. So, here’s the thing, they’re a little muddled, they don’t move smoothly around each other on stage - their dance moves are coordinated, but they’re not moving in space like a group that understands each other. (Somewhere in here, my sound comes back, and Yibo already can’t hold still to the music.) The other thing is, though - all of these guys are very good at what they do, they finally hit their stride a minute or so in, and when they do, they hit it hard. I’m frankly surprised they don’t get passed right through to the next round, but Jackson abstains on the vote, and when called upon to explain himself, it turns out he just wants to see them battle. I can understand the impulse, Jackson, but this is already super stressful on all the dancers, and it doesn’t escape my notice that you’re the only one of the four captains without a dog in this particular fight, so a little bit you look like you’re doing this just because you can. Remember this, because it will set a bad example for an 11th -hour vote. Anyway, there’s the chance for a callout, which no one takes because the entire audience is convinced this group is too good to beat. Five of 60 seats taken.
Group two is Shen Kai Xiang – the Jack Ma lookin’ dude. He’s flying solo. He gets to stand around uncomfortably for a while onstage while Special Guest Huang Bo does A Bit making fun of all of the captains’ speech patterns and accents and pronunciation, except Yibo’s, because Yibo apparently never talks. Ha ha. (I’m also wondering if there’s some socio-cultural stuff underlying some of this that I’m not cued in enough to fully understand.) Huang Bo then tells the contestant that Jackson has probably fucked him over by praising him too effusively (he came from Jackson’s team, and Jackson already is displaying a tendency to rhapsodize about how everything is “ART”), so all the captains now will have inflated expectations that Shen Kai Xiang is surely only going to fail to meet. I’m beginning to suspect that Huang Bo’s Special Guest Superpower is not “lifesaver” but “kind of annoying asshole.” Maybe it’s to take that particular spotlight off of Chick. ANYWAY, Shen Kai Xiang FINALLY gets to perform, and he gets a little bit of a slow start, but he packs in a lot of elements and gets a LOT of good air in his moves once he gets wound up. He’s lyrical and super emo about it. I’m kind of “eh” on him – technically, he’s good, but I’m not particularly connecting with him, which I’m willing to admit could be a me thing, as everyone else seems super-impressed. Three captains pass him through. Yibo does not and explains this decision as personal preference – he likes more “underground” styles, more battle styles. Huang Bo brings back the issue of too-high expectations to help explain why Shen Kai Xiang isn’t being passed directly to the next round, even though Yibo just explained his decision and that is literally not the reason he explicitly gave. Anyway, Shen Kai Xiang gets no call outs, which seems to surprise Yibo, and we’re at six of 60 seats taken.
In quick succession, we move through Liang Hua Jie – we don’t see much of him, but we learn that while Wallace likes his musicality, Yibo doesn’t like his face (OK, doesn’t like his facial expressions, which, what can I say? I get this. If I’d had the power to unilaterally send home Lacey Schwimmer on her season of SYTYCD, I’d have done it, that’s how fucking annoying I found the way she’d mug for the camera the entire time she danced. Like I couldn’t even watch her dancing, because I was too distracted by what she was doing with her FACE the whole time.); Jian De Chao (wait, is this Chao from the first episode?) & Chen Zui – who, from what we get to see of them have some good flow and move pretty well together, but can get a little bit mushy in their moves, and Yibo likes their skills, but Lay thinks they don’t feel like a group, which what? Incorrect; and a group that’s dubbed themselves Purple Storm Show, which includes Alex from Jackson’s team and four other people who I can’t even catch – we barely see their performance, and Lay likes them, but Jackson thinks they’re flat. I can’t tell if any or all of these guys were sent through to the next round or sent home, but if they didn’t make it, then  :(  because I liked Alex, and he got hit in the eye for this, he deserves better than to get sent home because his team can’t get it together. We still have no group that’s been passed through by all four captains.
And then, next up is another powerhouse team: Gongsu Wu Ming and Hei Zai (Team Lay), George and Xiao Ming (Team Wallace), and (Xiao) Bai (Team Jackson). Yibo is skeptical about an all B-boy group, and don’t make me fight you, Yibo, because an all B-boy group is like my dream come true (sorry, poppers; sorry, lockers; my heart truly belongs to the B-boys, they are my favorite). We learn they added a flip at the last minute – an assisted flip, with a couple of them flinging George into the air over the other two of them. Wu Ming thinks that George is the only one of all the competitors who could do it, but George – who has a little more skin in the game than anyone else, as the guy who could potentially land on his head wrong - is a bit concerned about whether they’re going to pull it off. They start, and they’re all good, a little bit muddled before they hit their stride, but the slo-mo cartwheel is great, and from there, they’re off and running. This is why I like the B-boys – I know it takes a lot out of you to do this, but there is nothing – nothing­ – like the magnetic energy they can generate when they’re in their performance headspace and everything is flowing. This is a performance, and Wu Ming has talked a little bit about wanting to step up breaking, and if this is the sort of thing he wants to do, I’m all for it – give him the platform now. I’m going to take just a minute to single out Bai and say that he’s better when he’s not doing A Bit like he did in his initial performance for Lay Zhang – he’s much more electric here, and someone else’s choreography may make the difference. Jackson, Yibo, Lay – they’re all out of their seats, none of them can hold still in the face of this. We get to the end, and unfortunately, everyone else is kind of cluttered and mushy moving into position for the flip – that is not a way to go out guys, DO NOT DO THAT at the last minute – but then George f’kn NAILS the flip, so that’s thankfully the last impression they leave. The captain’s faces are a picture. (Except Wallace, who’s suddenly too cool to give us anything, apparently.) FIRST ALL-PASS. George’s assessment: “Not bad.” :facepalm: OK, Mr. Cool Guy. They also cut in a post-interview bit with Bai about the performance, and he notes that they all know each other, they’ve been battling each other for like, a decade, now. Dance together more, guys.
Moving on, we fortunately have another very strong group to follow them: Gai Gai, Wang Tao and Huang Xiao, all from Jackson’s team, and you can tell he badly, badly wants to start in on the ART! bit but he (loudly) keeps his mouth shut about this group until after the performance. The only one of these three we’ve seen so far this season has been Gai Gai, but they all dance in the same group together, and they seem to be well-known by a lot of the other competitors, particularly Huang Xiao, both as a dancer and a choreographer. They say they’re doing jazz, although I’d be more likely to call this contemporary, if I was going to put them in a box. They are gorgeous – lyrical, fantastic dance vocabulary, amazing choreography, beautiful musicality, and the way they move together as a unit is … :chef’s kiss:  I think Huang Xiao may be the best of the three, technically, but there’s something ineffably charismatic about Gai Gai that’s pulling focus a bit – just a bit – more than the other two in this performance. If there’s a weak link, it’s Wang Tao, and really, that’s only by comparison with the other two, which is a really high bar. We get some shots of the audience of competitors worrying about Yibo’s reaction, given his preference for the old-school battle dancers and an apparent “strictness” with urban dancers and related genres, but these three also get an All-Pass to the next round, and Yibo talks to them a little bit about the choreography and his (complimentary) reactions to the performance before they leave the stage.
And then. Oh, dear. Then we get a group of three – Da Mao, A Li and Tall(? Maybe? It looked like he was going to get out of this anonymously – probably lucky for him – but then the subtitles threw up this name on him at the last minute) – who are the only krumpers who’ve made it this far. Lay Zhang is really promoting them, because he really wants to see a bigger krump presence, and he’s really nervous about their performance, and he really, really should not have pinned his hopes on these three, because I hate to say it but they are a hot fk’n mess. They are … not good. I can’t believe any of the three made it this far, and in fact, we learn after their performance, while everyone is sitting in a kind of stunned horror (and y’all, I am not exaggerating for effect there), that Yibo did not pass A Li on from his team, that she got one of Lay Zhang’s final extra battle towels. I mean, there’s an obvious gap in the quality of this performance compared to everyone else we’ve seen. There’s also a lot of pacing around and standing around instead of dancing. They’re trying for the attitude, but they’re not managing it. They do manage to get an embarrassed reaction from Chick, which says something all on its own, as I wasn’t aware that he had any shame. Other competitors also are doing the embarrassment-squick cringe in the audience. Lay Zhang is literally hiding behind his clipboard. This is the first All-Out we get, where they’re directly eliminated – not even Lay can bring himself to vote “yes” on them. Now, all the krumpers are gone, and Lay is visibly sad and frustrated, but as we appear to move to a little bit of a break, Yibo displays the most emotional intelligence of anyone there and asks Lay to teach him how to krump, to distract him and get him actually doing the dancing he enjoys for a little bit. It’s also a chance for Yibo to learn a new thing, and he talks about his chance to improve in a little interview bit from later on that’s cut in here. I mean, yes, that actually was kind of a sad attempt at krump during the cypher, my dude, so this can only help you, but you also are being an extremely good guy, giving your fellow captain some emotional support right now. Thumbs up.
Next up, we have AK Dong (Team Wallace), also flying solo, and they give us a little heart-tugging B-roll about how he doesn’t have a team with him there, so he’s going it alone. He’s fantastic right out of the gate - good musicality, clean and precise, and he’s got a nice texture to his performance, it feels … full even though it doesn’t feel as big and expansive as some of the other dancers. Unfortunately, Lay doesn’t agree with me (incorrect), says he wants a performance that’s more elegant and “balanced,” and is the single holdout vote, which opens my dude up to a call-out challenge. This is the guy who looks like comedian Hank Chen, which has overshadowed his dancing twice now, because he had to listen to it from Haung Bo when he came out to dance, and he CANNOT catch a break, because now he gets challenged by three teams, including Bouboo’s team, which also includes Klash, Bullet and Colin (all Team Yibo), plus Boris (Team Lay), who we’ve only seen B-roll of so far although he speaks good Chinese, despite being from … I’m not sure where, but not China? AK Dong complains about how Boris looks at him with innocent eyes and tells him that they have no option other than to challenge, which is true (ETA: insofar as we know at this point), because they’re #36, and the 60 slots would almost certainly fill up before they even get a chance to dance. This team wins the bottle spin against the other two challengers, and I mean. :hands: This is a slaughter. They’re five-on-one, and they’re all really good at what they do, they make it look effortless, and AK Dong’s face is going to kill me. Wallace actually does vote for him, but the other three vote for the team, and that’s five more seats filled, and AK Dong eliminated, and I’m annoyed (although not as much as I’m gonna be) because I liked him, and I would have liked for him to get a chance to dance without having to listen to the Hank Chen nonsense at least once.
Next, we have Li Yue & Sha Sha, who appear to dance together on the regular. They have a kind of sultry number put together as the Green Snake and the White Snake that is … hm. I don’t know if we’re classifying this as urban or jazz for the purposes of the show, but it’s another piece that fits more into my contemporary box, if we were classifying them for most of the Western dance spaces I’ve seen. They’re good, as befits this stage of the competition, but a little inconsistent, technically. Also, I don’t find them particularly exciting to watch – I feel like something’s missing, although I can’t quite put my finger on what. I’m not sure their flow is consistent, and they’re probably not helped by following Gai Gai, Huang Xiao and Wang Tao. They get three yes votes from Lay, Yibo and Jackson, although they are … enough to maybe make Yibo a slight bit uncomfortable, being the shy and fragile homosocial forest creature that he may be, or that he may be getting edited as, who knows. Huang Bo pokes at Lay Zhang about his reaction to and vote for them. He also basically says that Wallace didn’t vote for them because Wallace wasn’t turned on by them, because Wallace is still doing his imperturbable cool-as-a-cucumber routine. Wallace’s hold-out vote opens them up to a call-out, and several groups come down to challenge, including – bad luck for Li Yue and Sha Sha – TI, who win the bottle spin. This group includes choreographer Zheng Jian Peng, as well as Su Lianya, who I didn’t realize was a TI member, both Team Wallace, along with … oh my god, Wei Ming, who’s the “Sir, what are you doing?” guy from Episode 2 when Wallace was giving out towels to poppers like candy, and I’m kind of pleased he’s made it this far, just based on that moment, alone, never mind any dancing skills. Rounding out the group are Long Long and Wei Lin, both from Team Yibo, and I think we got B-roll of Wei Lin at some point during Yibo’s eliminations in the first couple of eps. I know nothing about Long Long at this point. At any rate, everybody in this group is so good, I can finally see how they got their rep – fantastic musicality, and a great job of working as a unit. They feel like a team, even when they don’t manage to be quiiiiite synchronized. I’m not really feeling their costumes. Su Lianya continues to be a standout, even in a group that sets the bar this high. Wallace’s composure finally breaks when the other team captains evince interest in poaching her, and oh my god, he still has the hair elastic that he held for her at her initial performance, that they said would be a token of their vow to go all the way in the competition together. OK, I give Wallace a lot of shit, but this is actually kind of adorable. He literally pulls it out of his pocket to tell the other captains they can’t have her and to plead with her to remember their promise to each other. TI gets three votes and moves on. (Lay, still apparently captivated by the snake ladies although not enough to bald-facedly vote for them in the wake of TI’s performance, abstains.)
Next up are Tao and CiCi, and OK. I’m going to be honest here. I think they’re leveraging the “couple” schtick for all it’s worth, and good for them, it looks like they can pull it off, because I think some of the amazed reaction we get from the captains and from the audience is influenced a lot by their coupleness, but at the same time, I think some of the amazed reaction we get from the captains and from the audience is actually influenced by their coupleness rather than their dancing. I mean, Su Lianya and Wei Lin are in the audience of competitors clutching each other’s hands and crying, and it seems to be just as much about Tao telling CiCi out loud that he loves her just before the music starts and the fact that they kiss as part of the piece, if not more than it’s about their actual dancing. The show is also really pushing me on this, because whereas, with everyone else, it tosses up closed captions that tell me what moves are happening (in addition to dialogue subs), now I’m getting things like “heaven-made match.” They’re good, but I think they actually also suffer a bit from following the Gai Gai/Huang Xiao/Wang Tao powerhouse, because I think we’re unlikely to get anything on the lyrical side of things that’s going to match up to that for the rest of the day. Tao and CiCi are better than Li Yue and Sha Sha were, and it is pretty badass the way she manages to make herself so small and compact she literally disappears behind him for that last little bit, and if they’d won the bottle spin on the last callout, they would have won the challenge, I have no doubt. But. :hands: I think the show has actually done that thing Huang Bo accused Jackson of earlier and set my expectations too high. I’m’a sound like Yibo – or like Yibo normally would, because he also seems to get suckered into the overwhelmed reaction for this – and say that I think Tao was better in the less lyrical style when he danced with Yibo and Bing in the Ep 2 towel battle. They get an All-Pass from the captains and talk about their inspiration for the piece, which apparently is a couple who confessed their love to each other the day before the girl had to go into COVID quarantine, and well, now I guess I feel like just a little bit of an asshole for not appreciating the COVID love story properly? Anyway, the captains then keep asking them intrusive questions about their relationship, and Huang Bo mocks Lay for apparently never being in love so he won’t understand what it’s like, and I’m cringing in my seat a little before Jackson gets us back on track and Tao and CiCi finally go sit down.
Then Huang Bo takes the chance to go over to the contestants who haven’t performed yet and stress them out about how few of the 60 available seats are left. I mean, I guess it’s part of competition, but come on, dude.
ANYWAY, next up, we have a group calling themselves Team Wake Up – it’s the waackers, and this group includes Xiao Bao and San Jin from Team Lay, along with a guy we haven’t seen yet, Tu Zi; Meng Di from Team Yibo; and Gao Shi Yu, who we also haven’t seen, from Team Wallace. They start working it, and I’m like, oh wait … and then they hit the Cat Walk, and I’m like, oh shit, and a light bulb finally goes off, because I’ve been super-fk’n slow, but now they’ve shown me what this genre is about, and I’m interested to see what they do here, because a lot of this performance could be straight off the floors of the ball scene. The entire group is pretty good, although I do think Gao Shi Yu is the weak link, she’s not quiiiiite up to the standard of the rest of them. They move well as a group, though, good coordination, sharp and clean, fantastic musicality, high energy all the way through, with EXCELLENT attitude, which is half the battle, because if you’re not confident for this kind of thing – or if you can’t at least fake it flawlessly – you might as well not even be out there. They all do lose a little bit of focus when they’re in the background as they break out for their individual moves, and they fall apart a tiny bit near the end. Also, Meng Di’s belt is off-center, and I know that sounds super picky, but it kept distracting me, so I wish that hadn’t been the case. Xiao Bao is definitely still the standout here – he takes the lead from the minute they come out, with the mic, and never really relinquishes it. We finally get to see San Jin perform, and his extension could be better. Tu Zi must be lacking in the charisma department to not have shown up before this, because he’s better than I expected. Before they started, the group that Xiao Jie and Yang Kai are in together – who still haven’t performed – were debating if they should challenge this group, but Xiao Jie advised waiting to see how good they were, and then after the performance is all, “nooo, we should not challenge,” and props to you for not just writing off the waackers, my man, because they get an All-Pass, and there’s not even a chance for a callout. Before we move on, Wallace clams he’s learned some waacking during the show, and the other captains (led by Jackson, who calls him gege) make him demonstrate, and the contestants, who know what side their bread is buttered on, applaud.
Available seat check. Yibo participates in further stressing out the contestants by saying “Like, a dozen?” All y’all need to be challenging whatever chance you get. Now I bet you’re sorry you didn’t challenge Shen Kai Xiang back at the beginning, aren’t you?
Next up is our group of X-Crew representatives, hop-hop, and Yibo is excited. I almost expect him to do a little dance in his seat. Yang Kai helpfully lets me know that this group is from the top hip-hop crew in China. Oh, hey, that’s Qin Yu, from Team Wallace, the guy who Gongsu Wu Ming immediately recognized as the weak link in one of the towel battles and got up on; the guy who subsequently got taken out by Teng Zai, My Beloved. Qin Yu, the guy we hadn’t even had B-roll on, and still don’t. I wonder if I’m reading too much into that. He’s joined by Flea (which I’m assuming is a direct translation, as it doesn’t sound like “flea” when he says his name?) and Ding, also from Team Wallace - neither of whom we’ve seen before, I think - along with Ting and Lei Xiao Yang from Team Jackson. This is also the first time we’ve seen Lei Xiao Yang. I … feel weirdly unconfident about the famed X-Crew, given we haven’t seen more of them before this. Then again, we’d only seen Gai Gai from her group, so maybe this is a BigSurprise!edit … Ting comes out hard and heavy, and I actually think this is the best performance we’ve seen from her so far. She spends a lot of time out in front on this one, and I don’t think I got from her initial appearance or from her towel battle performances just how good she actually is. Overall though … I am … not that impressed with this group. They start out strong, but then they get sloppy. They have trouble working as a unit, which is surprising from people who supposedly have experience dancing together. They’re all very good, but they’re not synchronized. A lot of their solo showcase bits lack complexity, and that is an understatement. Qin Yu still has some of that nice fluidity along with his pretty face, but he’s not balanced, and he absolutely does not have the finesse he needs to pull this off. They all do move into the end strong, together again, hard, power behind their moves - almost everything from the slo-mo move is good - but … it’s a little late, y’all. That took way too long to get back together. And then, they inexplicably descend into … it’s not even sloppiness, it’s an utter hot mess during, like, the last 15 seconds of the performance, which is absolutely not the final impression you want to leave. And … wow. Shit. There are captains who actually agree with me on this. Sometimes you see the expected top dancers allowed to slide some in these early rounds of competition shows, but not this time – Wallace and Yibo both vote yes, but Jackson and Lay both abstain, and Jackson … wow. Wow. Is disappointed in them and expected more. Despite the fact that he’s like, 12, and that he’s done this to past groups just because he wanted to see them battle, a little bit this actually has a vague feeling of your dad telling you how much you’ve let him down. The audience is shocked, but I’m glad to hear someone say it. It was a good - if spotty - performance but certainly not the best we’ve seen.
So, we have a callout, and the group with Xiao Jie and Yang Kai, which also includes some guys named Shen Zi Hao, Xiao Zhi Bin and Oscar, pounces. And that is a very deliberate word choice, because these guys are on X-Crew like a lion on the trailing gazelle. They’re in their Men In Black suits (ETA: Wait, no, I think maybe they’re Agent Smith suits), and the audience of other competitors is losing it. Xiao Bao is very excited about Xiao Jie. Both Yibo and Jackson look like they’re in actual physical pain, to be forced to make the choice that’s coming up. Ting looks like she’s getting ready to throw up – she’s accepting this with less equanimity than she did the possible results of her initial performance, at least on the surface. I … am dreading losing her, actually, because I suspect that’s what’s getting ready to happen, and I am so so sorry, baby, that you worked so hard to carry your crew like that and they couldn’t keep their shit together. On the one hand, I’m impressed they’re pitting this level of competition against each other so early. On the other, I feel Jackson’s and Yibo’s pain. God. God. The Xiao Jie-Yang Kai group is here to f’kn battle. This is shaping up to be a slaughter. They are fast, clean, precise, great musicality, complex moves, super performance. They’re synchronized, high energy, fantastic animation – which could be a little cheesy, but they’re confident and fearless enough to pull it off - fun and interesting. They are maybe a little bit too gimmicky to be perfect for my taste, but I’m not the one voting them through, and what they’ve come up with is perfect for the audience that matters – the captains, the majority of which are 20-something-year-old boys – and knowing your audience, and performing for them, is a skill, too. BIGGEST (and frankly, only) ISSUE: Somebody fucked up a move, right at the beginning … I think maybe Yang Kai? (ETA: Yah, it was Yang Kai, ugh, what a time for that to happen.) If you’re going to fuck up, best to do it at the very beginning, I guess, and then give this performance afterward, to mitigate it as much as possible, but that one misstep gives the captains enough excuse put off a decision they really don’t want to make, like it’s not just going to make it worse to kick the can down the road a few minutes. Split vote, 2-2 (I thiiink, Yibo and Jackson for X-Crew, Lay and Wallace for the challengers?), which throws it to a further battle. Ting and Xiao Jie, one-on-one, and both of them are feeling the pressure of competing for their entire team instead of just themselves. Two rounds, hiphop and locking. So, each of them is better in their specialty. Ting’s got some fantastic, precise moves for the hiphop round. Xiao Jie is not as good in this round; I do notice he’s got a more directly confrontational style when he’s battling. I feel like she’s doing more waacking than locking in the locking round. Overall, she’s cleaner, more precise, he’s got a little bit more energy. I wouldn’t want to make this decision, frankly. I think Ting was better technically, but Xiao Jie might be the better performer – better at all that other stuff that adds up to stage presence. I do wonder how much of the captains’ decision is influenced by the groups, and who the captains are or aren’t willing to lose, even though it’s supposed to be based on this 1x1 battle. Just looking at who the show has put emphasis on already, we’ve got Ting vs. Xiao Jie AND Yang Kai, and I don’t know that they’re going to want to let that one-two punch go. Wallace votes Ting and X-Crew. Yibo and Lay vote Xiao Jie and the challengers. Jackson, the coward, abstains. Looks like Ting and X-Crew are going home, and this is the first cut that I’m genuinely upset about seeing. Ting feels bad for letting her crew down, but they let you down first, baby, or you wouldn’t even have been in that position.
Available seat check: 12. Dancers left: 27. Well.
We’re coming up on two hours now, and there’s clearly some kind of drama we want to get to, because we whip through the next few performances – few names, limited time spent on them. The ones who do make it through are likely cannon fodder in the next couple of rounds. There’s a group of four in khakis that gets sent through to the next round; Yibo liked their moves. Guy named Zhan Ke in a suit goes through to the next round. We’ve turned into a clip show now, and the screen literally says “ … ” at one point as each group of competitors gets 3 seconds of airtime. Cut to three seats left out of the 60. There’s about seven people left, and … that includes Chick. I have a sinking feeling this guy is going to be the real focus, at this point. He’s paired up with some dude named Long, and they have lost the bottle spin on callout after callout after callout, so they’ve never had a chance to challenge, and now, look at these morose motherfuckers, still sitting in the bleachers. I almost feel bad for them.
So, three seats left, and the next group is three people: Yang Qi aka “Apple” from Team Jackson, Lin from Team Lay and Bobo from Team Wallace. Urban dancers. I lose sound on them right at the beginning, but they’ve got some nice sharp moves, good choreography, they work well as a unit. Solid performance, if not the best we’ve seen. Apple’s got the best technique, I think. Audience likes them a lot. We get a cut to Chick and the other competitors who haven’t danced yet as we count down for the vote, and they are all dying. Three votes yes. Yibo abstains. Huang Bo is so prepared for this group to be sent right through that he starts clapping and congratulating them, and Yibo has to be all, “Wait, no. Not yet.” The captains give their reasoning: Jackson says that he felt their power, emotion, speed all deserved full marks. Yibo agrees.
Yibo agrees.
...
Their faces in response, y’all. Their little WTF faces as he explains that he really just wants to see the other dancers, too. Oh my god, Yibo. You can’t just say that out loud. Are you serious with this, you can’t even make up a thing to fake critique them on? Cut to a later interview with Bobo, who’s been the least able to school his face journey in response to this: “Wang Yibo, I won’t forget.” Also, Bobo says, you’re not even hot. (lol) Joking aside, the group goes on to make all the correct noises about sure, it’s a competition, you face competitors, it’s what happens, because what are you gonna say? Meanwhile, to be completely honest, I’m probably the person who’s been least able to school their face journey in response to this, because come on, Yibo. It’d be one thing if you were making some kind of statement about the way they set this up from the beginning, with all competitors unable to participate, but I’m pretty sure you’re actually doing this to give Chick another chance, because you have been inexplicably all up on his jock since he showed up, what is it about this guy? I don’t get it. At all.
So, we get a callout, and everyone left challenges, of course, because this is probably the last chance. The audience is rooting for Chick. I still don’t get it. Bottle spin ends up on … Zhao Hai Jie, from Team Wallace, who we’ve never yet seen perform. Here’s the thing: If he can win this battle, then he only takes one seat, leaving another two seats available. However, he is NOT going to win this battle, not without ripping off any figleaf of fair competition that the show may have, because he’s just not that great. If he wins, there’s no way around the fact, right in your face, that it’s a strategic vote. He does not win. Four votes for Apple, Lin and Bobo. Sixty seats filled.
HOWEVER, just in case you were worried there may be any integrity here, director Lu Wei comes ambling out to say, hey, you know those rules we have in place? Well, fuck ‘em. Who cares. Let everybody left battle, and whoever wins that battle can have a seat along with the 60 other people. I’m going to translate this one, because despite the limitations of my Level 1 Duolingo Mandarin, I have umpty SYTYCD episode reactions on my LJ and I feel like I’m pretty fluent in Dance Show BS: “We really want to keep somebody who’s left, so there’s going to be some chicanery on our part.” They really do not want Chick to go home, y’all. I know it’s him. It’s super extra obvious they’re desperately trying to save him, at this point. And I am here to tell you that if Chick ends up on this show and Ting goes home, there will be nothing on this earth that could possibly resurrect Chick from the Pit of My Dislike.
Anyway, we get Dai Dai from Team Lay, who describes herself as a fusion dancer and is pretty good for the first 40 seconds or so of her music and then completely loses the thread and kind of falls apart. The captains do not seem impressed. Possibly they also know we’re just killing time until we get to Chick. Up next is Su, who is Very Dramatic. He doesn’t say what team he’s from, but given Wallace’s reactions, I suspect he’s from Team Wallace. I suspect Yibo’s not going to like his face. His performance goes increasingly off the rails as he goes on. He’s got a lot of goodwill from the audience of competitors, but no. This is not a winning performance. And then we get Chick & Long, literally the last to perform. Chick spends the entire time doing A Bit. Long, who anyone barely remembers is even there, does 2/3+ of the dancing. Everyone – everyone – is apparently vastly entertained by Chick, and I just … :hands: Fine. He’s a character, but I have yet to see anything in three episodes, across, like, 7 hours, that lets me see whether he can really dance or not. Yibo literally tells Jackson, “He doesn’t have many tricks, but he’s got a ton of ideas” and later says he’s a B-boy without a power move. Anyway, one vote for Su (Wallace), three votes for Chick and Long. We’re at 62 dancers, and I cannot believe I’m going to be subjected to Chick’s continued clownery when Ting has to go home.
Thank GOD we’re activating the Special Guest Host Powers, the first of which is “REVIVE,” i.e., bring someone back who was eliminated. Yibo is immediately like, omg, the hip-hop group. Then we do Yet Another Bit where the captains cater to Huang Bo so that he’ll take their advice on who to revive, and it goes on too long when we are, my god, two hours and fourteen minutes into this. Meanwhile, Yibo reiterates, the hip-hop group. Yeah, Yibo, this I approve of - if I gotta watch you fall all over yourself over Chick, you need to get Ting back for me. So, we’re finally getting the captains’ actual recommendations: Jackson says the hip-hop group, possibly feeling bad about the fact that he’s the one who spiked their chance the first time around? Yibo is all, me too! Yes! That one! It’s kind of adorable. Also, yes, Yibo, you need to get Ting back for me. Lay says Li Yue and Sha Sha, the white and green snakes. Wallace recommends a popping group that I don’t even know if we saw perform? At any point in the past 7+ hours of three episodes? Wallace, are you high? Anyway, THANK GOD, Huang Bo brings back the X-Crew group. We’re at 67 dancers.
Second Special Guest Host Power is … “battle?” So, we’re setting up Qiang Qi Da Zhan, aka Seven to Smoke, which they’ve apparently done in past seasons? Each captain picks two people – eight total – to participate. Twenty minutes total. Increments of 30 seconds each to battle. And I guess you have to accumulate seven points in various battles. We don’t get to hear the captains’ picks, but I can see that AK Dong is called back for this one. Also, I spot one of the krumpers. (:eyeroll: Really, Lay? Because I know that was you.) We see some clips of this. We see AK Dong get to six points. He … maybe gets his seventh point? Anyway, he says in the last interview clip that he’s here. I guess we officially find out the Seven to Smoke results next ep?
Also next episode: Divided into two groups and battling by genre for the next elimination. Five rounds. Also looks like captains might get a chance to poach from other teams. Also some wacky fuckery with the dancers’ heads that looks like it’s going to be stomping all over my embarrassment squick, argh.
Finally, we get a peek at hotpot, and it sounds like they ended up with 70 dancers, so three people managed to get seven points in Seven to Smoke? And somebody’s mom is apparently coming to hotpot, but I’d have to watch the actual hotpot show to find out whose mom, and we’re out.
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marziblogsworld · 4 years
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Soooooo finally, the devil blessed our screen with his whole celestial family this time... I mean the show got more celestial then ever. Dropped this friday and still holding the number one rank everywhere. Lucifer lefts its mark and here is my review on it...
The episode started with a banger. I loved this guy, he was also there in S4, also Netflix make him the opener for every new Lucifer season please. I love his and Lucifer duo, now back to the episode. The transition between Lucifer solving the case in hell to Chloe solving the case on Earth was syncronized so amazingly and i laughed so hard with how he was using his demons on this🤣.
I really loved Chloe and Maze dynamics together but why did she broke it off, it wasnt nice of Chole, i get they were going reckless but still thats not the way to end such a friendship especially when Maze herself was going through an abandoned issue (which btw was beautifully handled but still some aspects were very blur.... But i guess it has to be since there is a part 2).
Ok i am soo glad that they didnt stretch Michael impersonating Lucifer storyline much, they ended in epi 2 and i was glad. CHOLE HONEY GO GET YOUR CROWN, YOU QUEEN. That is how you should know your man ladies.
DECKERSTAR👏IS👏BY👏FAR👏THE👏MOST👏HEALTHY 👏COUPLE👏ON👏TELEVISION 👏......
The way they were communicating with each other is a sight for my sore eyes. They didnt seemed toxic, they didnt seemed too much or too fictional, they actually were very relatable and i just love it *tears*..... How many of you sang prayers over that bedroom scene, honestly waiting for that shit for over four season... Nd ooooh the last question of Decker was on point but i still think you dont have to say those three magical words to show how much that person means to you. ACTIONS SPEAKS LOUDER THEN WORD PEOPLE!!
LILITH IS THE QUEEN OF DEMONS AND I EXPECTED MORE FROM HER STORYLINE THEN SOME BAR SINGER IN THE 90s.....no... No she is a badass and a diva and literally a MF queen... This is unacceptable.
Can i just say Amenadial is just a sweet huny bun, the cinnabun of the whole show. Ooh and the best advisor, TEAM UP WITH LINDA AND BOTH OF YOU GIVE THERAPIES AND COUNSELLING.
DAN AND ELLA DESERVES STORYLINE. Writers seriously asking you for this since the show was lifted by Netflix and btw how dare you put Ella in such a position you monsters. Also whats with HER HAVING A DARK SIDE... OOOH i wanna know more about that please.
DAN ESPENOZA IS IN THE LOOP, GET ELLA NOW!!!
MICHEAL I SAY IS THE MOST MANIPULATED VILLIAN. Like literally this man can make the world dance on his fingers. Nd Tom Ellis english accent is just *chef kiss*.
The rift he created among all of those around Lucifer will definitely create alot of damage. Chloe is again going skeptical about her relationship with Lucifer. He used Charlie ( i will never forgive you for this) for Amenadial and the shocking part is that his son isnt even an angel. He manipulated Maze ( i will also not forgive you for this). Its kinda my headcannon that LILITH soul is in Lucifer ring so what if Maze used that ring and maybe Michael thought about that too.
Now with ALOT of damages, and the rifts between relationships the stakes are high. THE WHOLE POLICE STATION IS ON FREEZE, TIME IS STOP. THE ANGELS ARE FIGHTING AND RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE *BOMB* IS DROPPED. I wont tell you what... Just watch.......
CANT WAIT FOR ANOTHER SEASON...... Lucifer is just getting better and better and i cant stop loving it ❤️❤️.
P.S I low-key ship Linda and Maze... I could see something brewing in there.
P.P.S Lucifer should really help Maze and with her whole soul searching thing (literally and figuratively).
So that is my review, make sure to follow me guys for more amazing reviews on books, movies and tv shows. Recommendations are open😉
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The best dudes scene ever.
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Ohh them ❤️❤️❤️😍
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The cast acting was A plus in this episode.
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ayankun · 3 years
Text
WandaVision episode 6
FIRST OFF
Whenever I go back to pause things for clues, and find exactly what I’m looking for, I don’t feel justified, I feel that much more insane:
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It’s really hard to make out, but I had an alright look at it on my folks’ QLED, and it’s definitely a flying saucer doing an alien abduction on what looks to be a person inside an old CRT TV (with some kind of robot head/boombox on top???)  There are secret aliens in this show, you guys, the facts don’t lie.
HmmmMMMM I wonder if Agnes is as innocent as she looks:
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Also, I didn’t see that she was wearing the brooch in this ep, and I was majorly disappointed in that.
Two things here:
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No, that’s not a twins joke.
Another Moonmen Confirmed
I know green is his color or whatever, but that hat is literally 10 years ahead of its time
Also, I took the playing-DDR-at-home scenario at face value, and only on the first rewatch did I realize it was a very pointed turn-of-the-century reference.  I am an Old.
There’s a good, subtle Rule of Threes in this ep.  The Setup:
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The Sokovian Halloween flashback works on so many levels.  It’s so funny:
The fact that they went trick-or-treating at all
The “speaking Sokovian”
The treat being a fish
They have to share the fish
The concept that this event gave them an infectious disease
“You probably suppressed a lot of the trauma” -- it’s a good sitcom joke but.  the trauma is the joke.  The joke IS THE TRAUMA!!!
Elizabeth Olson is a dream with all her wonderful faces she has this ep.
Vision’s unsettling passive-aggression-sitcom-cooperation whiplash is WOW, consider me unsettled!!!!!!  “Be. Good.”  UGH.
(Just noticed one here, but there are a number of continuity errors in this episode, enough to be distracting later on, and is this a deliberate choice?  Please let it be deliberate.  I didn’t watch a whole lot of Malcolm in the Middle, is it known for its continuity errors?
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)
“It’s their first Halloween.” LOLOLOL they are TEN YEARS OLD and this is their FIRST halloween I LOVE IT
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DOUBLE RED HERRING CONFIRRRRRRRRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Agent Jimmy Woo accidentally identifying himself as the sassy best friend added 20 years to my life.
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Found.  FOUND.  Not “created,” “manifested,” “willed into being using my insane witch powers.”  Third Party Confirmed.
I like that it’s the 90s and we can swear on TV now.  “Hell” “kick-ass” “damn it” “fu---dge”
I think the most biting part of Vision finding the whacked out folks is that the soundtrack just kind of ... ignores that anything’s wrong.  Yeah, it’s kinda-spooky Halloween music, but it’s still 100% in-world kinda-spooky-sitcom-Halloween-episode music. 
OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE AD:
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As a 90s child, let me tell you, this is a blisteringly accurate representation of children’s marketing from the period.  The shark is wearing sunglasses AND he has a surfboard!!!  And he’s selling you yogurt of all things!!!!!  This is the supreme distillation of what being a child in the 90s was like.
How disappointed I am that they went with crab instead of lobster.
Heard it through the grapevine that this is a representative of Wanda’s imprisonment on the Raft.  That happened in Civil War, right?  So the next ad is The Snap?  We’re running out of iconic decades, too. so, hold on, new thought.
90s: Civil War
00s: Infinity War
10s?????: Endgame???? or?????????
??: Whatever happened between Endgame and WandaVision, given that the ads are stepping forward through Wanda’s IRL life events!!
I don’t want to know how many episodes are planned/announced, but I don’t know what to expect from the format after they run out of decades from which to draw.  Maybe there are only one or possibly two “sitcom” episodes left.  Maybe after that it just breaks down and they can pick and choose from the worlds/styles we’ve already established.  That’d be p neat.  A very unique kind of chaos.
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god she’s so cute
Okay, somebody explain to me Pietro.  I honestly walked away from last week thinking he was just some townsperson chump, but then I was reminded that this is the Quicksilver actor from all those X-Mans movies I never watched, soooo people are saying Multiverse Confirmed?  But, if this is X-Mans’ Pietro, then why did he die the same as MCU Pietro?  Or is he literally MCU!Pietro’s corpse, given that he looked all dead same as when she saw Vision’s corpse?  If MCU!Pietro, then why different face???
????????????????
Also I found him highly suspicious, what with all the questions he was asking.  But the only sort of person who would truly want to know the answers to those questions would be someone who already had them ... so I think he was just asking on behalf of the audience, and the delivery was all wonked out.
Rule of Threes - The Reference:
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Ok, real talk, whenever computers/networks/data/encryption/servers/mainframes et al come up in mainstream media, I just look away.  I don’t need the kind of psychic damage that comes with such egregious mishandling of the topic.
That being said, does Hayward having eyes through the barrier mean that he could possibly be involved in getting it set up?  Because look.  If Hayward-after-Hayward’s-Villianous-Ends is one antagonizing force, then is there really room for the Third Party (Confirmed) antagonizing force that’s lurking in the negative space silhouette of the Inciting Incident?  With Wanda as the Red Herring antagonizing force, that’s just.  There’s just too many villains, alright?  We gotta start merging these plotlines.
(then again, when I just said “eyes” I realize probably understanding the true nature of his new secret “CATARACT” project will clear a lot of things up.  I’ll wait for enlightenment)
Agnes’ license plate in this episode is 0A1-B2C, which I think is a reference to the way reality is getting pared down to bare bones at the edge of town.  Note that this is not the same license plate number as seen last ep.
ALSO, I drove home behind a NJ plate just an hour ago, and was staring at it for a long time, trying to fit it into the puzzle before A) realizing that this was Real Life and not part of the show and B) WTF is a NJ plate doing in front of me in California.  In any case, I can confirm that NJ plates do not appear to have this number-letter repeating format.
So let’s talk Agnes.
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Demonstrated knowledge of the situation in ways others haven’t (”There’s the star of the show” “kids, you can’t control ‘em”)
Shows up when needed most (explained as being Wanda’s doing, but is it)
When Wanda was having her babies, though, who was trustworthy enough to be summoned?  Was it Agnes?
Wanted to babysit REAL BAD
Was in the opening credits framed possessively with the twins
Doesn’t appear to have an IRL identity according to Jimmy’s crime board
Keeps talking about her husband but we’ve never seen him.  Highly unlikely that he’s real
Was the one to find Sparky “dead” - internet thinks she was lying to Wanda about how or possibly if he was dead (I’m trying not to read the theories, so idk exactly what the angle is there)
In an episode where everyone is wearing their original comic outfits, Agnes is dressed as (and laughs like!) a witch
She name-drops Wanda as the one controlling everyone; Norm (or the guy playing Norm) only said “she” and “her” -- meaning Agnes?
Naughty
So we’re 99% sure Agnes is Agatha Harkness, right?  I never read no comics, so I’m taking the internet’s word for it, but from what I can tell, I think we must be right.  If that’s the case, then I’m thinking it’s not impossible for her to be pulling some strings around here (giving Wanda a justification for her “that wasn’t me” doorbell ring, for example, and pulling a double red herring on the fact that she shows up whenever the narrative Wanda her nefarious scheme calls for it).
To devil’s advocate myself, though, we also have Monica’s word that it was Wanda in her mind, lessening the impact of Agnes falsely confirming what Norm only implied.  Also she’d have to be acting for Vision’s sake (and ours) and, if so, then what did Vision’s brain-touch really do, and how did she know he’d find her there, and what did she intend as the result of that interaction etc etc.
If Wanda’s (or Wanda + Third Party Confirmed (Agnes??)’s) powers aren’t enough to sustain the simulation of life on the edges of town, how much worse is it going to be now that there is even more area to try to control???
I don’t know if this is strictly an intended read, but the idea of Halloween as a fun, scares-for-entertainment’s sake type holiday, the rounding off the edges of concepts like “skeletons and ghosts are what people are after they die, let’s decorate the town with them and have a good time” kind of is a haunting parallel to the nature of Wanda (et al) covering up the horrible truth of the situation with this happy-go-lucky sitcom glamour.
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How much does one hate seeing Vision giving his life for the greater good (the greater good) for the second time?  In other news, I think I’m seeing some specifically Mind Stone type energy-colors coming off of him, and very little Wanda type energy-colors.  Third Party Confirmed.
Also, I was thinking from last week that perhaps Hayward’s Villainous Ends included capturing the reanimated Vision to be one of those Sentient Weapons his organization is all about, but I Do Not Think his reaction to seeing that sought-after prize disintegrate in front of his eyes really matches up with that theory.  Again, will be patiently waiting for Jimmy to check his email to see what CATARACT is all about!
Rule of Threes - The Payoff:
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Also, anyone ID the movie playing in the background?
Ok, final thought.  I watched this about four times today, and on the big-ass TV at my parents’ house finally paused and got up close to see what that white shape is in the reflection.  Thought it might be a skull, but, it’s worse.
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These caps do not contain enough data to verify my claim, but I PROMISE YOU it’s a TV
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A square old thing with a round screen and antenna on top. 
I SWEAR to you, when I looked into the TV, into Wanda’s eyes, only to see the reflection of a TV, of her looking at me looking at her I had a visceral fear reaction.  Like.  LEGIT nauseous skin crawl.
(All the other episodes have ended with our POV as the fourth wall, from the general (or exact!!!) position their household TV is known to be.)
This is my favorite show Of All Time.
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hatsukeii · 4 years
Note
How does tsukki, kuroo and Kags text their s/o btw I love how you write them
Aww thanks!!
I see Tsukki Kuroo and Kags are vv popular for hq headcanons here lmao
(Not that I mind though I love Tsukishima with all my heart-🥺💕)
Defs gonna be some lowkey angsty headcanon of the boys.
Probably gonna be shorter than my normal hcs, sorry🥺🥺
Onto the children-
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🌙Tsukishima🌙
- You always have to start texting first.
- Like this boy cannot start a conversation for shit.
- Text conversations usually consist of asking for homework answers, note sharing, and dinosaur facts.
- Tsukishima probably makes fun of you through the screen as well, you’re not safe just because you’re not physically with him.
- In return you spam stickers in chat.
- Your most used stickers are the Episode meme stickers, the “Suck my dick bitch” sticker, the “I fucked your mom and your dad” sticker, and the “You do not spark joy, goodbye” sticker.
- Conversations can get very deep as well.
- Like you two have had full blown talks about like prejudice and shit all through text.
- He gets sentimental in chat sometimes while ranting to you.
- You can literally tell from some of the conversations you two have that he’s either depressed, suicidal, or has anxiety. Or all three.
- Knowing that, you send him 3 photos of baby animals every morning to remind him there’s something to live and be happy for.
- He saves them all to his camera roll.
- He sends you music recommendations every other day through text.
- You’d think he enjoys softer music, but half the songs he recommends are from like 70s-90s rock bands.
- He was the one that got you into listening to bands like AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Green Day, Nirvana etc.
- Okay he still listens to soft music though.
- Conan Gray, Jeremy Zucker, Wallows, you name it.
- Usually keeps you up until like midnight just texting.
- Doesn’t like to use emojis.
- Instead, he uses “:)” “:(“ “;)” “:,)” “:0”
- He probably uses “wtf”, “smh”, “lmao”, “ffs” a lot.
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♠️Kuroo♠️
- Meme lord™️
- Spams memes in chat all the fucking time.
- Meme wars are a must.
- Has a stash of weird stickers.
- Made a four part Riccardo sticker.
- And a sticker of Barney sticking a kid’s head at its crotch trying to hug her.
- And a pixellated minecraft style Mario spreading his asscheeks.
- Uses them exclusively.
- Your parents saw the Mario sticker and you had to explain that you weren’t sending nudes to people and using that as a reaction.
- Vine quotes all day every day.
- “Hey Kuroo, come to Del Taco’s.”
- “We’ve got freeshavacadoo.”
- Uses “lmao”, “ oml”, “lolol”, “whgwjgssdyhd”, “B R U H”, and “omf” so much it’s funny.
- Conversations don’t get deep that much, but you send him volleyball memes you make every time he has a match coming up the next day.
- Ya boy Kuroo loves them so much that he does extra well during matches.
- He lost a match once and you sent him over 20 of those twitter meme reacting tiktoks hoping he’d feel better.
- He appreciated them a lot.
- Every single text conversation has you rolling on the floor laughing.
- Randomly wakes you up at like 3am on a school night to ask you some stupid question.
- You blocked him for a whole day once for waking you up at 4am just to ask you whether he would look like a rooster if he dyed his hair red.
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🌊Kageyama🌊
- Really, really dry texter.
- Don’t know why, he’s just really bad at texting.
- Likes to use emojis though.
- Your chat apps are basically used for asking dumb questions.
- For some reason he likes to use tiktok memes a lot.
- “Don’t be shy, put some more.”
- “RATATTATAATATATATATA.”
- “Fucking ok boomer.”
- Sends you previews of your favourite shows.
- NEVER FUCKING REPLIES TO YOUR TEXTS OR CALLS AJHSHSJSHD-
- When he does it’s usually with “oh”, “ok”, “cool”, “lmao” “well”, “k” or something along those lines.
- Please someone teach this boy how to text seriously he cannot hold a conversation through phone.
- Made a whole sticker pack of just his face.
- There are baby photos of him as stickers in the volleyball team and class groupchat.
- Asks for homework answers through text.
- Conversations last for 10 minutes maximum.
- You once told him you missed him because you never get to text him while he was out of town and he sent you a Thanos gif that said “impossible.”
- Your friends were beyond pissed.
- You were laughing your ass off though.
- In conclusion, just talk to him in real life man.
Shorter than usual, but I hope you like it xx
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pochapal · 3 years
Note
rank every year of the 2010s from best to worst i want some pochapal lore
[warning for discussion of my fucked up mental health and my myriad traumas. we’re really opening the pandora’s box here gang]
ok time for me to overshare on the internet again! super long post because i can’t shut up and you asked for it. anyway, by objective ranking: 
#1: 2012 - halcyon era, my personal peak. spent the whole year writing hunger games oc fics with my deviantart fanfiction besties whom i still think about all the time and always hope are having the best possible day. if you were here for this era understand i still hold you so closely and dearly in my heart <3. 
#2: 2013 - god i was such a good example of a human being back then. was the year my writing like actually took off and i had a healthy balance between creative stuff and a social life (said social life consisting of spending lunchtimes at school breaking into classrooms and discussing fandom shit with five other people. reading homestuck updates in the music room on one person’s really shaky mobile data...legendary). highlight of the year and maybe my life was in the april of 2013 when i got out of failing to submit a hard deadline essay by telling my english teacher i wrote a whole novel over the two week break and then producing said novel. god i wish i had that level of like. fucking confidence back me back then knew what i wanted and how to get it. 
#3: 2010 - the last year of childhood. i was 12 and played pokemon all the time with my friends and went places and had a moderately successful youtube channel and it didn’t matter that i was bullied so badly at school because i was basically high off life. summer of 2010 was so good specifically. i’d used to get the bus with a friend and go see movies and break into historical sites and get into normal childhood mayhem and maxed out my pokewalkers twice a month and i was buzzed because i had two (2) whole friendship groups to choose from and that was such a huge deal to me the terminal social outcast. it was so simple and carefree and even though everything and everyone involved in this era grew up to suck except for one specific person i kinda really miss it.
#4: 2018 - this was the first year i wasn’t depressed to the point of nonfunctioning. it was 20gayteen, i was on antidepressants, i was as close to thriving as i got at uni (going into town with people once a week, attending art and culture events, getting good grades across the board), i started to write for fun again, i got my cat whom i love dearly, i was exhibited in my uni’s city’s literature festival, GOD i actually nearly attended a pride event that year can you imagine. this year was basically my life’s second peak. miss getting the 8am train and daintily sipping on a cherry coke to keep me from passing out. wish this time could have lasted longer.
#5: 2019 - kinda absolute middle of the road year not for lack of anything happening but because the overwhelming amount of good and bad things cancelled each other out. so like there’s the fact that i was at the top of my uni game this year, was basically making the first steps into a professional writing career (covid i will never forgive you for killing all that dead </3), finally saved up enough to buy myself a gaming pc, and the summer after the homestuck epilogues, but equally 2019 was the start of the Pochapal Gender Fiasco which is by far the most horrible thing i am still currently undergoing and i burnt myself out mentally about halfway through the year (being stuck overnight in a hospital for a panic attack absolutely horrible horrible irredeemable) and then got like super death plague flu that i was sick with for three months (literally recovered less than a month before rona hit. god’s cruel karma.). so like...it kind of averaged out? the good shit was good but not as great as other years and the bad shit was awful but nowhere near as terrible as it could have been. gotta give a shoutout to 90% of my current mutual cohort for following me in 2019...omelette route gang make some noise !!
#6: 2014 - oof. this year essentially marked the start of a four year long downward mental health spiral because everything fell into awful alignment. i’d just turned 16, finished secondary school, had all my friends up and ditch me at once, was home alone for a whole summer, and was hit with Sudden Intense Body Image Issues that i couldn’t explain until uh. after very recent developments lmao. this one goes out to the me of july 2014 who did nothing but lay in bed and listen to the same two marina albums on a loop because fuck i’m attracted to men and also my facial and body hair are really starting to come in and if i think about this for too long i will literally kill myself because oh god i can’t handle getting older which is clearly and definitely the issue going on here. my brain fucking broke super hardcore and it’s a miracle that an overeating disorder was like the worst thing i walked away with. 
#7: 2015 - downward spiral year two!! i was so volatile this year it was such a mess. i was totally socially isolated after a brief stint of falling in with a group of people at the start of my first year of sixth form until january where in quick succession a) it turned out every single one of these people was friends with the person who sexually assaulted me whom i obviously had a lot of complicated feelings towards and b) baby’s first crush came out as bisexual but in the “women and also trans women” kind of way which tore me up so terribly in ways i couldn’t begin to understand. no words for the experience of seeing a girl kiss a boy and crying so hard at night you threw up because you could never be her no matter how much you wanted it. actually kinda get the sense what was going on there was bigger than just some crush lmao. then after that i was so mentally ill i basically attended school less than half the time and it was the only year in my life i failed my exams. i ended up having to resit my entire set of first year a level exams because jesus christ was i in such a bad way it was a miracle i even showed up to them. all i did was either have anxiety attacks or enter bedbound depressive slumps for weeks at a time. but it’s okay because it gets worse.
#8: 2016 - downward spiral act iii: the spiralling. prefacing this by saying that i actually had two whole good months (april - may) in that i was functioning enough to do my exams and finish school with decent grades. the rest was super extra mega terrible. my school attendance for year 13 dipped below 65% and literally the only thing that kept me from being kicked out was the fact that i was naturally smart at the subjects i took and also because the school would have a lot to answer for after letting me get to that state despite having a hefty file on how damaged i was. keep in mind every single part of this was fully untreated btw - i was just floundering around and letting it all fester. i spent three solid weeks going to school but locking myself in the bathroom all day every day and having mental health episodes then going home like nothing else happened only to continue the breakdown that night. then things got kicked into fucked up overdrive when i moved out to uni and was cut off from what little support structures i did have. it was so bad all i did was cry all the time and never went anywhere to the point where three separate sources recommended me to the wellbeing and crisis counselling service that i stopped going to after two sessions because i was fucked up in ways cbt techniques could not even touch. at least i tried to make an effort for the first two months of uni which like. good for me?
#9: 2017 - what lieth at the base of the spiral. helltrench year. i was at literal rock bottom. i stopped going to class, i didn’t hand in a single piece of work. i lied to my parents and would book trains each day only to go back to my student flat and sit there and contemplate suicide. like i would just slump on the floor in a catatonic state and vividly contemplate one of four or so ways i could end my own life. i only didn’t because i wanted to wait until the summer to collect my last student loan and transfer it to my parents as an apology for my death which obviously didn’t end up happening. honestly i can’t remember much of the first half of 2017 that’s how bad it was. i remember taking a gender studies class and the teacher made it Weird that i was the Only Male Student in the room and then she sent me a scolding email after i walked out halfway through a class and never returned. apparently i got into a lot of online discourse in this year but i don’t remember anything other than being put on a blocklist by the milkfic author over ace discourse which is funny if you have the context. mostly i just baited terfs and weirdo freaks to get them to say horrible things to me as what i guess amounts to some kind of digital self harm. anyway breaking point came in late august when i got kicked out of university and then nobody could ignore it any more so there was no choice left but for me to seek out help and recover enough to function which luckily i did. i really Do Not remember 2017. you could tell me anything about that year and i’d probably believe you.
#10: 2011 - extra circle of hell for this little fucked up gem of a year. on the surface it wasn’t actually that terrible, until the Summer 2011 Domino Effect Of Bad Shit. up until like may/june it was a pretty all right year! i was 13 and had a surprisingly successful youtube channel uploading pokemon soundfont remixes to an audience of i think ~350-400 subscribers at my peak? anyway then i got hit with the early summer triple combo of childhood friends moving away, cute and quirky sexual assault at the hands of a person in my friend group, and then having some Really Great and Super Appropriate interactions with adults on deviantart. like obviously there’s the actual ptsd-inducing event which totally disrupted and killed the person i was right up until that moment and reshaped every facet of my life for better or worse (there’s an alternate timeline where that didn’t happen and i got into electronic music and/or coding instead) but really it’s the events that followed in its wake which were kind of more fucked up. so like all of a sudden i was super aware of my body and me growing my hair out and being mistaken for a girl in class suddenly became this Less Innocent thing and i ended up spending hours overnight going to transgender questioning forums and looking up hrt timeline videos and having the wikipedia article on tracheal shaving saved because it was a life raft to me whose voice was imminently gonna deepen and i was simultaneously reeling with constant trauma flashbacks and the whole thing was so so fucked up. then i was on deviantart and i don’t remember exactly how but a small group of furry guys ten to fifteen years older than me started messaging me and encouraging and requesting me to produce nonsexual fetish stuff for them and talking to me about stuff like if i’d ever thought about growing up to be gay and i didn’t think anything of it for a long while because they called me a very talented writer and it felt so good to have someone be nice to me after being so alone and isolated for months on end. anyway the only reason i got out of that before it got bad was because they invited me to one of the big furry sites and i was weirded out because i thought it was a porn site and thinking about sexual stuff was a huge trauma trigger so i just ended up blocking them all and pretending like it didn’t happen. at the time half this shit didn’t bother me but in retrospect holy fuck 2011 was such a damaging year. to think if like three events didn’t happen i wouldn’t be the fucked up mess you see before you today.
god fuck this turned out super long but i’m not apologising because this was a therapeutic exercise for me and also constitutes as one of the biggest pochapal lore dumps of all time. come get your food or whatever.
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whisperofthewaves · 3 years
Text
@bies-from-wildland this is for you (I’m sorry for one spoiler, but if you start watching you will know the second this one shows up that it was very predictable):
(edit lmao I forgot under the cut exists)
gods dammit I have such mixed feelings about this series. did I like it? No. were there moments I enjoyed quite a lot? yes. <- and this is what makes me dislike it even more.
the music was over the top dramatic and it was great until it was too much and wasn’t nice anymore. like, how much drama and patos can you squeeze out of every other scene in all 8 episodes?? a bunch of peasants is getting burned to death and you feel like you should be watching the battle of helm’s deep or something. EVERYTHING IS DRAMATIC. EVERYTHING. NO RESPITE.
and the thing that makes it worse is the few attempts at humour in like last three episodes or something. in castlevania it worked because the whole thing felt like a dirty RPG and the humour was there form the beginning, but here? with the dramatic choirs every 5 minutes? gods no.
character designs - some were cool, some were ok, some were terrible, I guess. I couldn’t stop low key laughing at zeus because he literally looks like the straightest 80s/90s american cartoon hero. he looks like mr fantastic from fantastic four and it was so distracting. edit: lots of them were SexyTM
spoiler// and the second you see **** you know she’s a villain/antagonist because she has pale eyes and her main colour is purple. I can swear I’ve seen her in some other american 90s cartoon playing a villainess too. //spoiler
the art style screams american comic/cartoon so hard every time I saw the “netflix anime original” I would get more offended. I’m also very much on the fence about wether I like it or not. I’d say 90% not, but there were moments I appreciated.
the animation - idk man. I wasn’t a fan of it in castlevania either, but there it somehow worked better. at least the fight scenes were cool afair. here there’s one scene in some early episode where a whole bunch of people literally disappear between the shots. and most of it feels clunky in some way. and kinda static. and sometimes there’s this weird feeling like when a character’s head moves some of their features are not quick enough to catch up with the movement. idk if 2D was always like that or if I’ve been watching too much 3D, but I was noticing it in multiple places.
and I don’t know how much of that is because of direction. wow there was an amount of characters staring dramatically at each other for too long. I feel like they were supposed to convey emotions in those moments but their faces had none showing, at least I definitely didn’t see any. also because the faces were mostly static in those shots.
it was straight up painful seeing a closeup of a face, the eyes going to the side, dooown, sideee (or something like that) and it felt so. not. natural and forced I could see the people who worked on it muttering to themselves, very focused “yeah, so she looks there and now we will have her look this way, and then--”
I’d sum up the last 4 paragraphs as: some shots as standalone images were aesthetically pleasing, but I had to suffer the rest of the series between them.
and for the last, my personal favourite in any case: the dramatic flashbacks of things said 10mins earlier. I will not elaborate, this is already too long and I haven’t even touched the plot bc I don’t want to add spoilers.
mmm yes, forgot the I Will Now Provide Your Backstory moments.
anyway, the plot was Basic verging on Not Great. I can’t say how much of it was based on any specific mythology, but that shouldn’t matter, it could’ve worked if everything else wasn’t terrible.
(since I’m putting it in the tag: obviously these are all subjective opinions of mine)
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kpophours · 5 years
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a very necessary guide to SF9
so. let’s talk about these underrated kings. be prepared for rambling. I just love them too much. my favorite boys, 10/10 would recommend stanning them.
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some basic information
9 members (5 vocals, 4 rappers, 9 dancers and 9 visuals just stating the facts)
SF9 stands for Sensational Feeling 9
debuted on October 5, 2016 with Fanfare (still a BOP)
currently under FNC Entertainment and actually their first male dance group
their official fandom name is Fantasy (such a good name, honestly) and the official color is Fantasia Hologram (aka the  p r e t t i e s t).
debuted after winning a survival show called Dance or Band (they participated as the dance team; the band team debuted as Honeyst in 2017)
7 mini albums so far with RPM being their latest comeback 
... now onto the members (buckle up)!
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Youngbin
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Kim Youngbin, born on November 23, 1993
LeaderBin aka the Dad™
very charismatic, be prepared for some really intense eye contact (two words: stage presence)
rapper (highest rapping voice out of the four of them)
D A N C E R (a former 1MILLION dance studio trainee), so he‘s obviously 1/3 of sf9′s extremely talented dance line
also 1/3 of hyung line
cutest eye-smile (so soft) + cutest giggle™
rocked his red hair and looks amazing with slightly curled hair (do not fight me on this)
is tattooed (very  p r e t t y)
threatens everyone’s bias at least once
gives amazing (and unnecessary long) pep talks together with Jaeyoon (just let the other boys sleep, please)
gazes so, so fondly at all his members in pretty much every video (no, I will NOT cry)
Jaeyoon is his roommate and secret wife.
Inseong
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Kim Inseong, born on July 12, 1993
the oldest (not mentally) aka the Grandpa™
main vocal (those HIGH NOTES, damn). extremely steady voice.
unique beauty. looks a bit like a desert fox (according to himself and everyone with a pair of functioning eyes).
1/3 of extra line (see and hear three loud idiots in all their videos? yep, that’s him ft. Jaeyoon and Dawon)
also 2/3 of hyung line
v e r y intelligent and educated (holds a degree in Journalism and Communication) but also stupid
owner of an extremely cute smile 
t h i g h s  i am not weak or biased at all
SF9’s designated English speaker (used to live in London for a year)
amazing winking-ability, 10/10 will leave you weak-kneed
King of Lies. he’ll probably never pass a lie detector test. but it’s okay we still love him.
is left-handed and really good at drawing
married to Jaeyoon (it‘s complicated).
Jaeyoon
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Lee Jaeyoon, born on August 9, 1994
3/3 of hyung line
honey voice (aka OST King)
d i m p l e s.
blindingly white teeth. the most beautiful smile (canines!).
very proud of his hips and butt (as he should be).
his actual name is Ethan
likes to work out and is  f i t (he ended all Fantasies during rpm promotions, so thanks for that)
King of girl group dances and in charge of sexy (Zumba) dances
a  fuc ki ng  tease (again, rip all Fantasies during the UNIXERSE rpm stage)
2/3 of extra line (shares one brain cell with Inseong and Dawon. they don’t use it very often.)
had a pink undercut during the Mamma Mia era and probably made people cry with his outstanding beauty. again, i’m not biased at all
seems a bit shy and quiet at first. don’t be fooled. he is loud and will come for you.
married to both Inseong and Youngbin.
Dawon
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Lee Sanghyuk, born on July 24, 1995
oh boy... such a bundle of utter chaos.
e x t r a (3/3 of extra line and probably their President™)
hear something loud and annoying in the background? it’s probably (most definitely) Dawon (helped by the other 2/3 of extra line)
a unique and beautiful voice (he needs more lines or else I’ll throw hands) - rapping, singing, screaming, he can do it all.
a fucking tease 2.0 (seriously, he and Jaeyoon need to be stopped)
Bruce Lee impressions on point
has tattoos
such a meme-face but also so handsome, like H O W
looks amazing and so soft with curly hair must protect
had so many different hair styles during their Mamma Mia promotions, rip his hair (and rip to all new Fantasies trying to keep track lol)
actually very soft. cried when Inseong surprised them during their UNIXERSE concert (which our Grandpa couldn’t participate in due to an injury)
likes to bully Taeyang.
Zuho
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Baek Juho, born on July 4, 1996
Mr. Deep Ass Voice™
“my nose is my swag“
such a good dancer, definitely underappreciated. 
looks intimidating at first, but is actually the softest (d u a l i t y)
the best cat dad (Huru has yet to accept his undying love for him though)
composes/produces own songs (@FNC: please, I’m b e g g i n g you to finally put Champagne on an album) and writes lyrics for a lot of sf9′s songs
didn‘t participate in most of their Enough promotions due to his (still ongoing) back problems (#FNCletZuhoRestChallenge2019)
a dork and meme and honestly just so, so cute and lovable
social butterfly (seriously, he‘s friends with literally e v e r y idol out there)
composed a (love) letter to Fantasy while driving a car with Hwiyoung, Taeyang and Dawon sleeping in the passenger and backseat yes I cried
a scaredy cat (ran away and left his members behind when he got scared by a staff member during their Trip with Fantasy)
Rowoon
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Kim Seokwoo, born on August 7, 1996
yes he‘s a Tree™. is made up of 90% unnecessary long legs.
main vocal 2.0
1/2 of actor line
very handsome, I know (but he‘s so much more than just his good looks)
a devoted mom of 8
loves all Chanis and not-Chanis equally
almost had a mental breakdown because he managed to hit Chani’s face with a football which resulted in his precious maknae getting a nosebleed
always hugging and kissing and generally just smothering all members with his endless love and affection (especially Chani)
(t) h o t  and knows it (very shy with fanboys though)
has literally only one selfie angle he uses rigorously  
his One True Talent™ is staring sexily into the camera and doing nothing else because yes, he’s just that handsome
tries to be funny and fails most of the time, but he‘s cute so it’s okay.
Taeyang
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Yoo Taeyang, born on February 28, 1997
undercover main vocal (has almost as many lines as Inseong and Rowoon)
best dancer, period. his entire body is probably made out of water. such. fluid. moves. - 2/3 of dance line, often in charge of choreographies.
also 1/3 of maknae line
speaks in ᵀᴵᴺʸ ᶠᴼᴺᵀ 
the literal Sun™, his smile has healing properties.
has great hair and pushes it back a lot during his dance moves
a flower boy (literally. wanted to become a florist before debuting as an idol)
looks a bit like Lee Dongwook aka The Reaper from Goblin
you think he‘s soft? uh, sure, yeah. but is also s a v a g e (the personification of that then perish meme)
has a... unique way of drying his hair (ask Dawon, he‘ll show you. even if you don’t want him to, Dawon will show you)
gets bullied by Dawon. bullies him back. very spot-on impressions of Mr. Extraness (as seen on their Weekly Idol episode)
soulmates and married to Hwiyoung, I don’t make the rules.
Hwiyoung
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Kim Youngkyun, born May 11, 1999
rapper and Mr. Charismatic™
yes he is that guy from their Now or Never mv 
looks bad-ass but is a certified baby boy (2/3 of maknae line)
cute without trying and is actually a cat
has literally the best gummy smile which he used to hide behind his hands (but his hyungs encouraged him so much and now he smiles openly, I am not crying, you are)
grew up so suddenly and had long hair out of nowhere and left everyone sh o ok (should definitely be in a shampoo commercial)
composes songs. put one on SoundCloud just very recently. writes lyrics for a lot of sf9′s songs.
cried during their survival show when he got scolded for continuing to mess up the choreography and had to be hugged by Youngbin (who really is the best dad™)
King of the Cleopatra game thanks to his dolphin screams should probably be part of vocal line
pretended to not recognize his soulmate and roommate aka Taeyang when he had to guess his members from their hands while wearing a blindfold. Taeyang will probably never recover from this betrayal and is most definitely still whining about it.
Chani
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Kang Chanhee, born on January 17, 2000
deep ass voice 2.0
d a n c e r (his little solo dance in Now or Never will forever be superior), 3/3 of dance line
Evil Maknae™ (3/3 of maknae line)
2/2 of actor line (yes he‘s that boy from Sky Castle)
speaks fluent duck
Taemin‘s Nº fanboy (literally knows his blood type, like... wow okay)
can‘t remember any of the members birthdays (he actually thought Youngbin was born in August when his birthday is literally in the middle of Winter. Leaderbin was hurt).
always looks like a smol bean, but everyone else is just ridiculously tall
had bright orange hair once only for about one second though lol
constantly smothered with love and hugs from Rowoon and pretends to hates it
has all his hyungs wrapped around his finger and knows it (they‘re all whipped for him, especially when he’s doing aegyo)
has a lot of hair aka (my favorite) coconut head (#freehisforehead2019)
looks expressionless and tired 24/7 (a whole mood and true gen z)
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some videos to watch
all of their mv’s of course
literally every comeback stage
the suit versions of Now or Never and RPM
the ghost prank/horror version of Now or Never (I cried laughing) 
this really cute Dingo Music version of Enough 
basically all their dance practices, but especially K.O. (we all know they should have gone viral with that choreography)
their adorable pajama version of Different
them performing RPM on a treadmill (Chani is a mood™ and Inseong’s grandpa waddle is so cute)
these stunning acoustic versions of their songs brought to you by 2/3 of extra line + The Tree™
their kcon New York 2019 performance (+ their cover of Love Shot)
their reality show Trip with Fantasy 
them dancing to O Sole Mio ft. Ostriches
their episodes on Weekly Idol and Idol Room
their girl group cover dance battle on Weekly Idol (ft. Cross Gene)
Rowoon and Inseong on Masked Singer
Dawon on Weekly Idol as part of the Masked Idol segment
the Now or Never choreography ft. dance line and the 1MILLION dance crew
them covering BTS’ Boy in Luv + EXO’s Call Me Baby
the Idol Dance Cover Challenge of Love Shot (ft. Astro, The Boyz and CIX)
this interview (I mean, that title alone... lol)
those are just a few of my favorite videos - there’s so much more content out there, so you’ll definitely never starve, lol.
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I could literally ramble on about these nine incredible men for hours on end. 
But this will be the end of my guide (it’s long enough already, lol).
Stan SF9 for (clear skin and good grades) nine hard-working and so, so talented individuals with amazing voices, incredible dance moves, outstanding visuals, chaotic energies and a lot of meme-worthiness.
You won’t regret it, I promise.
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(Don’t worry, Rowoon(’s face) is okay).
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[masterlist] | [requests] 
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intoxicatiing · 4 years
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ooc been talking about ruby’s TMA verse for a while now but I think i have it figured out enough that I can put it out there yaaay
But essentially she’s an avatar of the web who lures people -- especially men she takes a personal disliking to -- in to shadows and/or her manor home and then kills them to serve the entity. She never stops smiling, and it’s unsettling once you know to look for it, but it’s subtle at first especially when she’s acting mostly human. background below
EVerything up to her meeting Luken remains the same -- she grew up on a farm just south of paris with her family, and is the only one to have survived the fire that destroyed her home. She went to paris in search of her grandmother, only to find out Helene is dead and now she’s on her own. After a few years on the streets, she meets Massu Luken, who takes her in. 
Things diverge here. Luken isn’t quite an avatar of the web, but he certainly serves its purposes, drawing people in and manipulating them into doing what he wants. He collected books, artefacts, and even people etc, and of course Ruby was his favorite possession.
Ruby worked as a lure for him in a sense. She would help put some of his more nervous guests at ease before guiding them into the shadows and ultimately to their deaths. At one point, she loses some control and bites Luken’s fingers off, leading him to lock her in a room full of spiders and their webs. During this time she becomes an avatar of the web, though I haven’t worked out the full details.
Regardless, she emerges and kills luken herself before becoming a metaphorical spider, living in Luken’s manor home in england and going out to lure people -- men especially -- into the shadows to kill them one way or another. She’s got fairly pale skin with a “spiderweb of veins” visible just beneath, and she literally never stops smiling. It’s a running theme throghout the story that I may or may not be turning into a statement 
she also, I think, likes to occasionally make herself home at the institute because she still has many aspects of her original personality intact, including her love for knowledge. (”I suspect,” she said, “that if the web hadn’t gotten me first, your dear Jonah would have loved to get his hands on me.”). She likes to cause trouble and make the researchers uncomfortable but she also can be genuinely helpful at times, offering them tea that she doesn’t drink, or finding a census book they need. She’s not an employee of the institute, and comes and goes as she pleases, but from what I can tell the web has a certain want to protect the institute, so there’s no issue in her eyes to helping it out here and there aka I am just really enjyoing the idea of them being unwilling friends to this chaotic whateverthefuck she is like
Jon: I am literally begging you to stop putting spiderwebs in my desk drawers
ruby, who just handed him an envelope of contacts for the latest statement: I physically cannot :)
(Narrator voice. She physically can, whenever she chooses.)
or like with Martin
Martin: this is horrible, I hate recording statements 
Ruby, handing him a cup of tea and sitting down with her own: Found a new tea shop down the street if you want some
Martin: ???? Uh. Ok. Can you even drink tea?
Ruby: No :)
and she still has like a full emotional range of emotions but she sure doesn’t express them outside of :)
and ofc I’ll be updating is the further into the podcast I get, i’m just at episode 90 now, but!! i’m getting through it and LOVING it
EDIT I’m about to hit episode 150 and her story is mostly the same. I want to emphasize that she does have something of a life, collecting books and walking around and shopping. She’s got lots of money from Luken’s estate, and doesn’t hesitate to spend it. she only needs to eat once every three or four weeks, which means for the most part she’s a slightly uncanny, beautiful woman living her life.
she also just happens to be evil and feel little remorse for what she does.
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