#but that might have just been a brief side effect of the lamotrigine since I went up in dosage

[insomniac-arrest]

a small win

Backstory: A year ago I started a new medication called Abilify, it wasn’t terribly effective, but I thought I’d give it the old college try since many of these drugs take awhile to take effect or show steady results

HOWEVER, one of the long-term effects of abilify that happens to some people is steady weight gain, I’ve never worried about my weight because I jog for an hour a day or more and I eat relatively well (my parents were health nuts who threw out my Halloween candy every year and never let us have soda and so on), so I didn’t really notice the weight gain since it’s not like I own a scale or pay that much attention

I also suffered a pretty bad depressive episode that year (because abilify wasn’t doing it’s fucking job) and stopped jogging for a while. When I finally came out I had gone from the weight I had been since I was 16, 125 pounds to 145 pounds (for context I’m 5 foot 6)

this was extremely distressing and made me feel completely out of control, I can’t control my emotions most the time and now I can’t control my own body?? it was so shitty and made worse by the fact it happened bc of a drug that was supposed to be helping me and wasn’t even doing that.

ANYWAY, I’m happy to announce I’ve been off Abilfy for like 5 or so months now and back on lamotrigine. It’s been a mixed bag mood-wise, but I finally managed to get back down to 132 pounds!! I’m very excited since I was worried I’d never get back to my original body shape before the drug fucked with me. So YAY! I’m hoping to shed the next 8 pounds during the summer and maybe even join some kind of marathon once my foot finishes healing up.

Things are looking up!! 

#I was feeling suicidal last week #but that might have just been a brief side effect of the lamotrigine since I went up in dosage #I am happy about the weight loss tho #makes me feel in control again #weight cw #weight loss cw #ia talks #bipolar stuff #medication talk